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#I am only at episode 4 - waiting to watch the rest with my buddy (It's been few weeks and I'm vibrating! I really enjoy it!)
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months
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So, I started watching Link Click...
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citystoryscapes · 8 months
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bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!
yayyyy thank you for the tag deepa, who is the best! @fiercynn <3 I've been meaning to participate in this for agessssss
since there are both recent newcomers to bbs fandom and people like me who are new to bbs tumblr, i thought i'd create a getting-to-know-you meme for people to introduce themselves if they want! all questions are optional
note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!
name and whatever you want to share about yourself
hey, I'm rain! that's not my actual name but it's all the internet is getting. my pronouns are she/they. I'm in my 20s and a grad student, and fandom has been a (selectively) great place for me in terms of finding supportive, brilliant friends. I like to write a fair bit; occasionally, I post it too. I also like cats, big cities, good tea, and old houses.
when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?
I'd heard about bad buddy because it was airing around the same time as another show I was watching, but I wasn't toooo interested until episode 5, part 4/i4. when I tell you that kiss UNLOCKED SOMETHING IN ME... I caught up on the first 5 episodes pretty much immediately after that while quarantining alone over Christmas, and it pretty much kept me sane. I watched the rest of the show as it aired- please spare a moment of silence for the people who had to wait out the two-week gap between episodes over New Year's.
bad buddy has always made me SO genuinely happy and hopeful, reminding me that there is hope for queer Asian people even if our families aren't always supportive.
favorite ship(s)
patpran, inkpa, and some comic relief waikorn
favorite character(s)
in terms of fanworks, it's a very close call between pran and pat, but I think pran is my favorite by a hair! I love his character arc throughout the show! I especially love his confidence and the way he grew into himself. pran might win in terms of being inspirational, but I have to say, I LOVE well-written pat meta.
in terms of who I'd like to channel in real life, it's obviously ink. she is the absolute coolest, a proud simp, and a protective girlfriend.
(I'm great at avoiding making choices)
favorite episode(s)
episode 5, because what could ever compare? I also love parts of episode 3 and 11 (I'm saying this as if I don't love the entire show).
favorite scene(s)
ep 5 rooftop kiss!!!! ep 3 bus stop and mini elevator scene; ep 4 pran's injury and the three wontons dinner; ep 6 beach scene where they're paired up in the game; and their trip to the market, ep 7 confession scene; ep 9's 'anyone taller than me is fine'!!!!! ep 11 bus scene, beach scene, and song montage; ep 12's entire bait and switch reveal, and pat pran's dinner out with friends.
see what I meant about avoiding making choices?
one thing you would change about the show if you could
seconding deepa, WHY DID INKPA NOT KISS??? also this isn't a change I would definitively make to the existing show, but I'd love a b-side where we see patpran's relationship in the years between their graduations and pran's return from Singapore.
what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?
I can't believe this is a question I am legitimately choosing to answer:
Fic:
make my body say ah, ah, ah by Sabulum
heart in a cage by sunshinedobi
paradox by Everybodyknows
dynamic by riddles2
a nose boop and the rest is history by seekingmoonscapes
don't forget me when I let the water take me by gilly_bean
your love is your life by threewontons
Videos:
same page by dkyth73
just friends by fiercynn and scribe
dancer by coldties
(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?
technically I've only published one bad buddy fanwork (it's a fic called these violent delights). my favorite thing I've created for the show is an unpublished canon-divergence fic where patpran have sex and possibly get together during their ep 6 beach trip
a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)
I'm sticking to the classics; same page and just being friendly by tilly birds are my top choices. I also made playlists for pat and pran, for said unpublished fic, so here's some of the songs I picked for both:
for pat: the loneliest time by carly rae jepsen, double take by dhruv, better by khalid, the enemy by andrew belle
for pran: washing machine heart by mitski, 18 by 1D, and dancer by leon
idk anything else you want us to know?
I love all of you smart meta writers, I'm kissing your big beautiful brains
okay i'm literally going to tag all of my tumblr mutuals that i think are still in the fandom (if i missed anyone sorry!!), but also if you want to do the meme consider yourself tagged! please don’t let this flop lol 🤞🏽
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I decided to watch the Walker pilot so you don’t have to. #1
I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I’m doing this and the more I put it off the less I’ll want to do this. So. Let’s start.
The fist thing we see is Jared Padalecki, em Walker, driving. He’s vaguely smiling and there’s the sun behind him. He seems happy. He’s driving a truck, for some reason my mind goes to Twilight. I’d rather watch that. At least there are vampires (not dressed like clowns) there. Anyway. Walker is meeting someone. He’s meeting his wife! “Look at you!” she says. The camera makes us look at him. He looks like this
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I am unsure whether we’re supposed to see this as sexy or cool. It looks frankly ridiculous. I don’t know if I’m just not American enough to appreciate the aesthetic of this. But I didn’t go through 15 seasons of Americana-in-British-Columbia for nothing. If a character appeared like this on Supernatural, it wouldn’t be presented seriously. It would be played for a chuckle or in a light-hearted way at least. Not even Dean Winchester would find this hot.
The Padaleckis tell something to each other. Apparently he needs to go home with the kids and his parents because it’s game night. My mind immediately goes to Game Night the episode and I am sad now. But Walker lifts my mood in its own weird way.  He doesn’t know the rules because every time she tells him the rules, he blacks out. I would make a fun quip about this, but the truth is that I relate to him a lot right now because I blacked out during the entire scene. I’m not sure what they said other than the game thing because I wrote it here. I already forgot the rest.
Anyway. What we’re supposed to get from this scene that they’re Very In Love (see that soft warm light?), and that he’s anxious because he’s not great at being a father because he’s shit at games apparently, but his wife is like ~don’t worry so much~ because she’s a kind, understanding wife. He tells her to be safe, because the Texan countryside is dangerous or something. She needs to stay on a route he approved for some reason. Is she traveling with supersoldier serum in her car? Is Hydra going to murder her? [cue the Marvel snipers shooting me to death because they don’t want Marvel to be associated to this]
Later, everyone is having fun playing fake monopoly, but Walker (whose mannerism is just Jared, he’s not even trying) is apparently too stupid to understand a game for kids. Plot twist, this is anti-cop propaganda because it says cops are dumb.
“Et tu Brute” Jared says when the kids point out he broke a rule so they get an extra turn. I thought I was safe from hearing Jared speak Latin! I thought I was safe! I am never safe!
Emily (Gen) suddenly texts him “SOS. Answer” which is OMINOUS! Oh my god! Aren’t you feeling the tension. The rest of the family keeps playing fake monopoly. Someone throws dice. Are we supposed to go “oh! The dice are ~symbolic because someone’s playing dice with her life” or have I been watching too much good tv.
She is running somewhere in the countryside, wearing a white shirt (is this the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown?). She says something is not right. He’s worried. Then he hears gunshot and her scream. He does the Alarmed Jared face, presses lips together and does a Upset Jared face.
Then he goes out, tries to call her again, and again, does a Jared Upset Sniff--
Oh! We actually see her! She’s alive, but she’s been shot in the stomach. Her white shirt is definitely the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown! Ah the blood coming from the stomach! How terrible! Her phone is ringing but she cannot reach it. She is definitely alive right now, though. She’s breathing heavily because of the wound, which is breathing, which is the opposite of being dead.
He decides that she’s dead, and lets out the already infamous manly scream of anguish.
It would be sad if it wasn’t that literally one second ago we saw her wounded but alive. Her turning out alive in the season finale or so will shock everyone. Nobody will have seen it coming. Who wrote this? They should have just shown the ringing phone and her bloody hand/side, making the audience assume she was dead, instead of showing her breathing. Now the audience is gonna assume she didn’t actually die, and wonder “why didn’t he call someone or went looking for her” but apparently Jared’s characters have forgotten that, like, ambulances are a thing. Jared’s manly screams of anguish are more important than common sense.
I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m n
We’re just 4 minutes in, guys. Why am I doing this?
Eleven months later, says the screen.
It’s night, outside a house. The son is waiting for him. The daughter doesn’t think he’s coming. On the porch there are two men, one is his brother and one is apparently his former partner, now new boss. He’s dressed like you’d expect a normal person to be dressed in a casual Texan night, hat and tie and all. If you are law enforcement in Texas and don’t wear a cowboy hat at any moment, you will be executed. That’s what the death penalty in Texas is for.
Somebody arrives, but to the kids’ disappointment is some dude whose function is to tell us the men’s names. The brother is Liam, the cop dude I forgot.
Walker is being sad on the back of his truck and drinking alcohol, which is the only way television can express a man having trauma. Holy shit - he reminisces of his wife like this is some emotional Lord of the Rings scene in a place where Elves live except this is not the Lord of the Rings and is just ridiculous, look
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She’s seen running towards the gazebo, then she turns
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This is exactly shot like the scene where Arwen has a vision of her son. Flowy hair and all. I cannot take this seriously.
He smiles sadly. Then a cop car arrives.
Mexican Lady Cop(TM), whose function in the story is to be a Mexican Lady Cop(TM) asks for his licence since he’s drinking alcohol in a public place.
“You ask so nicely” drunk Walker says. Ew. “Yeah, they train the girls special” Oh! Can you see? She is the Feminist Icon who Takes No Shit from the Dude! I’m so excited. I am slowly losing the will to live.
She drives him home on the police car. His legs don’t fit. At least this is realistic.
He does exposition in the car, including “I needed to visit a ghost instead”. There-there was no need to say it. What’s the demographic they’re aiming for? Five year olds? Do they have to spell everything out loud?
“It’s been a while since I had an actual conversation” he says, which supposedly explains why he’s making awkward exposition, but it’s just bad writing. At least they acknowledge it’s bad writing.
She figures he’s law enforcement coming back from an undercover mission from some drunken ramble he makes. This is worse than the Sherlock phone cable port thing.
She says she just got promoted from state trooper, ehe she will work with him wink wink nudge nudge. Is she going to be a cop-buddy-character slash love interest except when they’re almost about to realize they’re into each other, his wife comes back and draa~ama? I can already see it.
He goes home, makes some Jared grunts, and falls asleep on the couch.
Next morning, he goes out and jogs to where he left the truck. He puts on a cowboy hat which is supposed to be an artistic shot.
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I’m slowly dying. He makes some Jared Deep Breaths, at least this made me laugh.
Wait, he’s now wearing a black hat. He’s in mourning, see? What.
He drives to his father’s ranch. His father is Super Not Impressed. It’s awkward. They took about horses. Mitch Pileggi is thinking that at least the other show was more exciting and there was Jensen Ackles in it.
He gets into his parents’ house and the dogs run to him, he does the Jared Dog Chuckle. He hugs his mom. He hugs his son - “August, my boy!” he says, like a normal person his age says.
He hugs his brother and they joke-wrestle and he says “I’m still the big brother” and did I mention I’m dying inside. I just can tell this is SUPPOSED to be reminiscent of Dean and Sam’s first meeting at Stanford in the pilot except Jared is the big brother now. Ew.
We learn that the brother is a DA and gay. All pilots suffer from Forced Exposition Syndrome but it’s like this isn’t even trying.
He goes to work and hugs (very manly hug of course) his friend-now-boss, who is called James. James asks him if he’s good and he’s like yeah I’m good, which our I’m Fine Lie Moment #1. Some things never change.
Enter the case of the week - a cop offered roadside assistance but he was assaulted. We’re already starting with a “Oh No Poor Cop :( Someone Doesn’t Like Cops And Gets Violent” plot. Yay.
Ta-da! Mexican Lady Cop appears, cowboy hat and all. James says she’s Walker’s new partner. My heart cries while Walker says “figured you’d be a guy” and she replies “so did my mom”. The feminism is so strong :’) She’s such a strong female character :’) I’m so happy :’)
Then Walker makes such a quintessential Jared thing with his mouth that I need to stop this here and take a break.
It’s been 13 minutes. So much still to go. I’m bored. Why am I doing this.
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absolutebl · 3 years
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This Week In BL
July 2021 Wk 4
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Golden Blood Ep 5 - honestly only Thailand would dare be this soft with a flipping bodyguard romance. Seriously? GAH. Plus PitchBank doing their cat & mouse thing. (Cat & puppy? Eh, whatever, it’s nahlak). Then they hit us up with sing feelings + musical montage flashbacks (and I’m sad). Ya win some, ya lose some. There were some nice almost kisses and a few fun tropes (lie on the ground, sleep on shoulder). Next week (since this is an 8 ep arc) is our ep 11 drama-doom? Weeee.
The Best Story Ep 3 fin - i liked it, but I prefer YinWar being messy university idiots over sweet angsty high school boys with coming out issues and family drama. I really hope we get the full version of Love Mechanics or similar from them. I believe that they can hold down a longer series. Anyway, this ended up being a story of lost love and separation, so not technically a romance, old school BL instead, so for modern BL watchers NOT RECOMMENDED. Sorry all. 
My Boy the series Ep 4 - dropping, even though we got some actual relationship development...
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The Yearbook Ep 2 - we learn about the first split (hit close to home, disappointment in a friend not living up to their potential is real hard). I stand by this being the pulp version of ITSAY. It’s pretty angsty, but fine if that’s your thing. 
Top Secret Together Ep 11 - it felt like we suddenly went right back to the beginning with some of these couples in a “wait, is this really ep 11?” kind of way. And ooof is this series SLOW. Honestly, this should have been 10 eps or so total - and I don’t say that often. 
That said anyone reminded of Sarawat in this bit with Copy’s dad? 
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Anygay, I was deeply charmed watching Nampu dance around the subject with Copy’s dad, while Copy is right there all "my cat-boyfriend doesn’t give a shit about being out or not” PANIC MODE. And Nampu buckles under the closet for Copy and hurts because of it, but communicates that to Copy. A nice subtle bit of acting I did not expect from a pulp. 
Incidentally, miss translation on the captions in this scene. Copy’s dad doesn’t use him pronouns when referring to Nampu dating. The captioner should have been using singular they. Will someone please teach the ESLs about singular they/them? 
Back to the drama. Sorry, apparently i have a lot to say about TST this week. The coming out bit was cute, very gently handled. 
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Also I kinda adore the fact that basically all CopyNampu’s friends know about them and Copy is not fooling ANYONE least of all his engineering buddies. 
I seem to be falling into the KhunKaow Brothers trap with TST where, in the end, CopyNampu are the only couple I care about. Do I need to do myself a CopyNampu bootleg? That is the question. I guess that I have 4 more eps to decide. 
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) Eps 10-15 fin - found the rest on DC, it hooked back into the weird timeslip relationship advance of the Japanese original and that’s not a drama style I enjoy. It reminds me of Aeschylus (follow me here) in that all the action occurs off stage and then we are told about it later. Not that I wanted to see Tin/KK action (yech). Anyway, despite a superior cast, yet AGAIN I must conclude that this franchise is not for me. NOT REALLY RECOMMENDED.
Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 11 - apparently while mosquitos leave hickeys in Thailand, bees leave hickeys in Taiwan. Softest episode 11 ever? I think so. Will anything dramatic happen in this drama? I think not. Do we care? Nope. 
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Given (Japan) Ep 2 - didn’t show up on DM or DC by Friday, but BL out of Japan can be a pain to find so I am hopping it’ll drop over the weekend. MDL said Ep 2 aired. 
Monster in Law AKA Mẹ Chồn Dâu Cáo (Vietnam) - on hiatus? Ended? Who knows. 
Light On Me (Korea) Ep 7-8 - Korea holds onto its record as the #1 distributor of second lead syndrome. Which is to say an excellent love triangle has landed (rare in BL). I don’t love a love triangle but if you’re gonna do it, this is the way. Bring on the pain. The most interesting thing to me is that if anyone needed a seme looking after him it’s DaOn - I wonder if the drama knows this? 
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BL News & Gossip 
Delightful rumor that AiNi (everyone’s favorite gay advice himbos from Tonhon Chonlatee) are getting their own show. We support this message. 
The company that was producing KinnPorsche isn’t anymore. 
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Next Week Looks Like This:
Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International subs accessibility reasons.
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Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.
Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.
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chalkrevelations · 2 years
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Well, we appear to be doing this, so we might as well do it. I’ll also have the WoH episode reax still going on, but I guess I’m also bringing Bad Buddy into the mix. One thing about this show is that each ep airs in four distinct segments, allowing for small quick hits, so I think I’m going to post segment by segment, rather than by episode. So, here’s Bad Buddy, Ep 1, part 1/4. All of these will go under the "bad buddy episode reax" tag, because why break a perfectly good pattern. Expect haphazard updates.
Due diligence – I am current on this show, which means I’ve watched up through Ep 10/12, and there are going to be some spoilers for later episodes in this. If you don’t want to be spoiled, drive by, watch the show (GMMTV on Youtube), and come back later.
We OPEN on Engineering chasing down Wai. So, the establishing shot we get for the show is Wai running, then cut to a pack of Engineering guys after him, led by – I really want to emphasize this, because apparently Wai is going to be my new Jiang Cheng (although I’m not actually gonna start a “people who hate Wai are objectively wrong” tag … maybe) – Korn. So we’re literally seven-on-one. Engineering has split up, and they corner Wai in an alley, and then Korn proceeds to mock and toy with him like a cat with a mouse when Wai insists on a fair fight. Pat steps in to be the true Engineering heavy, and Korn “warns” Wai that Pat is a rage-monster who can’t stop himself when he’s angry. Pat is magnanimous enough (/sarcasm) to give Wai two minutes to call his friends and get them there for backup. Two minutes in, we’ve established our Tybalt, Mercutio, and Romeo in this scenario. Where’s Juliet?
Cut to OCD Pran laying out all his design pencils precisely and neatly, while listening to classical music on his earphones. (I know practically nothing about the genre, so if anyone recognizes this piece of music, I’d be interested in what it is.) So, two and a half minutes in, the show has already started giving us clues about Pat’s and Pran’s particular dysfunctions – Pat externalizes the bullshit he gets from his parents, turns it outward in aggression, picking fights, maybe to blow off steam. Meanwhile, Pran internalizes it – sure, he CAN fight, as we’ll see, to protect himself and by extension those he cares about. (Take note that he doesn’t really give a shit about Louis getting into a fight (AGAIN), but he immediately gets involved when he hears that it’s Wai, so there’s another little character relationship grace note we’re getting, about the friendship between Pran and Wai, and the depth/importance of it compared to even the Architecture secondary backup hobbits who form the rest of their core group.) However, what’s going to become increasingly obvious as the takeaway from these first scenes is Pran’s need for precision and control and how very much he hates not only his surroundings but himself being messy, lit. and fig. (Remember this, because love is messy. Lit. and fig.)
While I’m going to really, really resist making either Pran or Pat “the girl” in this relationship (Juliet symmetries notwithstanding), I do have some half-formed thoughts about ways in which their responses to their family trauma are somewhat typically gendered based on which parent is the driving force – Pran has been taught by his mother for his entire life that he has to protect himself from the threat next door, which is just waiting to victimize him – in this case it’s not sexual victimization, but it’s similar to the ways girls are taught not to walk alone at night, to always keep your keys between your fingers and to have the police emergency number dialed on your phone and ready to connect, not to ever ever take your eyes off your drink, and 1000 other little behaviors that are supposedly designed to help you protect yourself from (male) aggression but also, ultimately, end up curtailing your freedom, keeping you controlled and contained and neurotic, constantly thinking about and questioning your actions. Also, one of the ways Pran’s supposed to protect himself, I think, is to be so much better than Pat that no one could ever doubt Pran’s accomplishments or devalue them in favor of Pat’s accomplishments, which relates directly back to the inciting incident for the family rivalry, but also, again, has some possible gendered implications, much like the idea that a woman needs to be twice as good as a man to be recognized as accomplished. Meanwhile, Pat’s been taught that he has to ACHIEVE over the kid and family next door to prove his place at the top, that he needs to be the very best at everything in order to reach all the markers of success. This also is rooted in the inciting incident for the families’ drama, but it’s also pretty gendered on the side of the parent that the main impetus of dysfunction is coming from. This is what men do – they succeed, and they prove their accomplishment and dominance over others (which, huh, I think also may play into some of the gross vibes that I get off of Engineering’s displays of dominance over Wai when he’s at work in later eps). Also, men make their fathers proud. Anyway, I think it’s kind of significant that during these very early scenes - when Pat and Pran are voiceover-ing about how they’ve been raised to see each other, the other family, and the family rivalry - one of the little flashbacks we get is of Pat drumming and making noise in his room while Pran quietly partakes in his artistic pursuits at his desk next door, and when Pat’s noise disturbs Pran and they make faces at each other across the back alleyway, Pat closes his window to shut himself off from Pran, but Pran also closes his curtain, so that Pat can’t even see him, in kind of the same way that women on one hand are taught to keep themselves modestly covered to avoid the male gaze, but otoh also find themselves having to hide to avoid unwanted attention when men impose on them (as Pat’s noise has done to Pran, although tbqh, Pat isn’t really even that noisy, and it’s almost like his exuberance is what’s really pissing off Pran).
ANYWAY, cut back to the fight. Some Architecture tertiary hobbits, plus Louis, have already arrived as backup, and everyone is throwing hands, including Tybalt and Mercutio, I mean Wai and Korn, who are faced off with each other (setting a pattern that we’ll continue to see with these particular two as a flashpoint for the Arch-En altercations). Pat’s tossing around random multiple Architecture opponents until Wai manages to knock down Korn and keep him down, whereupon Wai throws himself at Pat and ends up getting his ass kicked for his trouble before Pran shows up and puts Pat on the ground. Pran does this, perhaps significantly, with a flying kick to the chest that leaves Pat curled up on the ground, gasping and clutching his heart. I'm just noting this. Also, once Pat stands back up and they stare each other down before engaging in fisticuffs, Pat looks kind of dumbstruck, while Pran just looks angry and kind of disbelieving, like “Are you STILL really making my life miserable, fr?” The harder they fall, man. ANYWAY. Cue VO backstory and flashbacks of chubby-cheeked Baby Pat and Baby Pran one-upping each other and fist-fighting throughout elementary school. In hindsight, Pat’s family does actually come off looking at least slightly worse in these flashbacks.
 - Pat tells us Pran’s family stole Pat’s family’s business idea, their employees, and their original customers before Pat’s dad’s “business connections” helped them stay afloat and get back to making a profit.
- Pran tells us Pat’s dad was a shitty businessman whose employees preferred to work for Pran’s dad, and who also relied on bid-rigging to stay afloat. Also Pran’s mom called Pat a “cheater,” so THAT’s going to be pretty important.
- We see scene cuts of Dads literally painting lines between the property to delineate where the trashcans can go, and listen, it looks like Pran’s dad starts this particular argument, but given the Ep 10 reveal, depending how much background he has on the inciting incident, I can see him being a Petty King about his family and their space and their property when it comes to this guy, who’ll apparently take what he wants by subterfuge.
- Also, Pat’s mom is kind of passive-aggressive during the blessing scenes – she’s the one who escalates each time - particularly for someone who (as we discover) knows her husband is in the wrong.
So, at this point, we’re literally only seven minutes into the first episode. We’re only getting ready to hit the opening credits. That’s a LOT of work the show already has done to set up everything that’s coming down the pike. When we come back from opening credits, the actual fisticuffs get stopped by Security and a professor, and everyone scatters. As they regroup in their separate corners, Pran wants to know what Wai has done “this time,” so apparently Wai’s kind of a trouble-maker. Wai tells us that he was at a bar the previous night, he and Engineering were cheering for different football teams, and he flipped them off. A flashback of this shows Pat being pretty hair-trigger about it and getting up in Wai’s face before Louis? maybe? one of the Arch secondary backup hobbits, anyway, apparently dragged Wai out of there and back to the dorm. There’s some talk about how even the Arch seniors don’t mess with rage-monster Pat, then Wai proceeds to be more of a trouble-maker and starts suggesting revenge. My dude, don’t escalate this. You’re gonna lose the moral high ground. They call Pran their “warrior” backup, but he wants nothing to do with this. Meanwhile, Korn wants to know who this mysterious warrior was and if Pat knows him, which Pat brushes off, and Engineering also starts talking about their own plans for revenge for the bruises Wai left on Korn’s pretty face. Also, somebody has posted video to the internet of Wai disrespecting them at the bar the night before, and a bunch of people keep liking the video, and THAT can’t be allowed to stand. Fucking boys, I tell you what. (Have you ever thought that maybe if you weren’t such douchebros, people wouldn’t be so excited to see you get flipped off?) Pat also initially wants nothing to do with this and still seems a little shook by Pran’s re-emergence, but once video hits the internet, he gets re-pissed off, tells his posse to record a video for HIM, and threatens to break all of Architecture’s fingers. OK, good to see you’re working on your anger issues there, my guy.
Cut to family dinners, where Pran’s dad is choosing a classical piece of music to accompany the meal and Pran is insisting dad use the correct utensil for his soup, meanwhile Pat is next door slurping his soup and grossing out his little sister, Pa, who is going to be a SHINING LIGHT of this show, even with the depth of their bench. Seriously, it would be easy for Pa to get lost in this whole narrative, but the actress is a fk’n DELIGHT and holds her own. Anyway, Pat’s dad is discouraging Pa from teaching Pat to have any table manners, because of course he is. Why would real men have manners? Pat’s hungry, and he’s a growing boy, so why shouldn’t he be as indulged as he wants to be. HOWEVER, Pat’s dad is also expecting Pat to bring home a rugby trophy, because apparently getting elected Engineering president when you’re a freshman isn’t enough. We also learn that Pa does Pat’s laundry for him (I wish y’all could see my FACE right now) but she refuses to start coming by and cleaning his dorm room. Back to Pran’s family dinner, and HIS dad is worried about Pran getting elected Architecture president and still having time for everything else he has to do, but pleaser Pran can’t let his friends who voted for him down, even though he’s worried about also getting his schoolwork done. All of this is generally played for laughs, but it starts laying down more layers of characterization that are going to feed into all of the family dysfunction. Significantly, when both families learn that there was a fight that involved Pat and Pran, Pran’s mom wants to know if Pat hurt Pran, tells him to stay away from Pat, and insists that Pran report it to the faculty if Pat pulls any shit, while Pat’s dad wants to make sure Pran didn’t kick Pat’s ass and encourages some ass-kicking on Pat’s part. Pran’s mom says she wouldn’t have brought him back if she knew the two would meet, and Pran's face does a Significant Thing, so we know that’s going to be hanging over all his interactions with Pat going forward.
After dinner, we cut to Pat and Pran running into each other at the trashcans, setting up more confrontation, and Part 1/4 is done.
Next time: Further trashcan confrontation.
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oabf45 · 3 years
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Ok so I finally watched the new 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star episodes and here is what I think overall for the seasons so far, the characters, and part 2 of the seasons. Badically my opinions no one asked for 😁
9-1-1
- Let's rip the band aid off. I'm sorry but we're never getting Buddie. I'm a huge Buddie shipper myself, but I honestly have reached the point where I just don't see it happening. For one their friendship alone just isn't what it's been the past two seasons. Idk if its just me feeling this, but their scenes together, though sweet, just haven't been what they've been in the past. I mean this last episode is the most connection I feel from their characters than i have this whole season. I'm still not over Eddie's lack of reaction to Buck being trapped when Buck was ready to dig through the earth to find Eddie. Though I think there is still a chance Buck could be BI I just no longer have hope that Buddie is going to be a thing. I mean, they've at least hinted that Buck could ride that way, but Eddie has given zero signs of being into men at all. But honestly if they at least explore a BI Buck then I'll be happy, even if he's not with Eddie. It also doesn't help that there's a HUGE possibility that Oliver and Ryan don't get along anymore. They stopped following each other on social media and they post pictures with all the rest of the cast except each other. Its just looking extremely unlikely.
- I don't think Ana deserves as much hate as she's getting. I wasn't so fond of the Eddie/Ana pairing either, mostly because I was so into Buddie. But Ana does seem genuinely a great person and its a plus that Christopher loves her. I just wish that if they were going to persue this they would have built it up more and showed us more of her character. I mean we know close to nothing about her which is what makes it hard to like her or like her with Eddie.
- I'm glad that even if Buck doesn't end up with Eddie he still is obviously going to be someone very close to Christopher. Their relationship is so absolutely darling and even if its not Buddie, Buck is very obviously like a second dad.
- At first I was not at all happy with them bringing back Taylor. I found her character so freaking annoying in the past. But honestly her character seems to have mellowed out and I actually liked her. But I am PRAYING that if she sticks around its just as a friend and not a girlfriend. Buck and Taylor are just a huge NOPE in my book.
- I need more of Athena, Bobby, and Michael ASAP! I miss seeing them more on my screen!
- I'm super excited for baby Chimney/Maddie. And I'm so happy Chimney felt safe enough in his relationship to express his feelings about an at home birth. Their relationship is so sweet and healthy and it makes my heart so warm
- I swear on everything I love if they take that little baby away from Hen and Karen I will RIOT! I also hope to see more of Hen's mom and can't wait to see her pass her exam.
- Albert was wrong for dating Buck's bad date, but he's a good guy and overall a good friend. Buck needs more friends outside of Eddie. I hope they give him more of a storyline in part 2.
- Overall loved the first half of 9-1-1 season 4. I hope they do another crossover in part 2 so that Buck can meet Carlos.
9-1-1 Lone Star
- Yes I have hated the baby trope this first half, yes Gwyn has been annoying af and I'm ready for her to go, and YES Owen has been annoying this season too. But I still love Owen and no I don't believe he's a bad person or a bad father. I hope they do right by his character in the second part and bring the old Owen back now that his life is going to go back to what it was. But I also know this is going to leave room for another romantic interest which you just know they're going to bring in. Maybe they'll bring Michelle back 🤷🏽‍♀️
- The amount of screen time Carlos got is *chefs kiss*. I'm so glad we got to see more into his family dynamic. And how great he is as a cop?! Like make that man a detective already! Also Rafael's acting is superb. He has the most expressive eyes I've ever seen! His face with Owen compliments him on his caring heart and how that makes him a great cop? He BEAMED and it was like no one had ever told him that before. I wanted to hug him so badly.
- I'm so happy they're showing a healthy gay relationship. Sure they've had their ups and downs, but they show TK and Carlos working it out perfectly with good communication which is what we need to see represented more with LGBTQ+ couples on TV. I have no doubt they'll last because they're literally the reason most people tune in and the showrunners know that. And that reuniting hug? Ronen and Raf's real life friendship makes their on screen relationship feel so real and I hope that never changes.
- I need more Mateo. The only thing we know is that he's dyslexic and has a cousin in LA. He's such a great character I wish they'd give him more screen time.
- I know that most y'all see them as just a brother/sister pair, but I love the idea of Mateo/Marjan as a couple. I feel like she could help him grow up a little while he could help her have more fun. But either way I love their relationship and want to see more.
-PLEASE give Paul a GREAT love interest. Someone who loves and accepts him for everything he is. He deserves so much love.
- Tommy Vega is THAT BITCH! She deadass basically said "shoot me. You won't". LOVE seeing a strong black woman on the screen. And I hope they give more screen time to Nancy. I feel like she could be a really interesting character.
- Am I the only one that kind of wants to see them bring back Billy Tyson? I know thats so random, but I think he needs redemption. Idk 🤷🏽‍♀️
- Last but not least......thank GOD I read spoilers before watching the episode because if I hadn't prepared myself and they ended the show with that bridge scene......all I gotta say is JUDD AND GRACE BETTER BE FUCKING OK! OR I'M FIGHTING EVERY DAMN BODY! But honestly I think they will be. These two make the show, for one. Judd is deadass the glue that holds that firehouse together and is overall a great character. No way they're killing him off. And Grace is a fucking saint and also a great character. And she's one of the only two black women on the show. Showrunners, y'all really wanna try that? They're such a great, healthy relationship who are literally so unstoppable together. I think they'll have some trauma but survive. And possibly a Ryder baby? Yes please, and please let it be a baby boy. Judd needs a little mixed cowboy 🤠
- Overall the season has been good, but too Owen/Gwyn central. Hoping the next part has more spotlight on the others. Maybe some "Character Begins" episodes? I think a "Judd Begins" Episode would be perfect to start off with to tie into the whole "omg is he alive" aspect we're bound to get.
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calliopecalling · 3 years
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Queen of the South 5x05 Debrief
I'm way late with this... been a busy week. But I do have some 5x05 thoughts beyond my Teresa appreciation post on Thursday, lol.
First, to continue in the long-running discussion about clothing themes, has anyone else noticed that Teresa wears all white when she's talking about going legit or makes a business move in the legit direction? I haven't had time to fully back-track through the episodes but she wears all white when she shows up at the hotel and a different all-white outfit when she signs the paperwork to buy the hotel. She's wearing her all-white blazer in 5x02 when she's talking to James about her plan to go legit. What others? Is this a pattern or am I making this up in my head? Maybe I'm reaching but I really want the queenpin-in-white visions to be the version of herself that got out of the drug business. 😁
Second, I appreciated seeing the Teresa who takes care of her own again this episode -- allying herself with Oksana by telling Oleg she'd only make a deal with him under the condition that he work with her; telling Kelly Anne that she didn't want her working twice as hard to prove herself just because she was pregnant. The queenpin that has grown overly ambitious and focused on her need to achieve safety by hording power but retains her care of and loyalty towards her "family" is a much more believable queenpin to me than one who lashes out at her family. So I'm glad we're not totally losing sight of this part of her?
Third, and look, I watch this show for Teresa and not for Jeresa; and when I started watching the show originally I was actually sort of skeptical of a romantic story-line for her that went past season 2 because I'd already read the book and LOVED it and her character truly stands on its own in the book without needing a love interest to carry through the full story; but this show really is better with a strong Jeresa element than without it. I loved episode 2 not just because they gave us another Jeresa kiss (although, ahem, thank you for that) but because the character James really gives us a looking-glass straight into Teresa's actual inner self and the two of them had lots of screen time in that episode. Episodes 3 and 4 were maybe trying to show us how dark she can get when she's trying to force distance between them and turn away from love? Now this episode we finally got a little bit of them interacting again but I felt like they could've revealed a LITTLE more.
James isn't just her love interest, he's the only character in the show now who's been around since the beginning of season 1 (not counting Pote because he didn't really become an important show character until the very end of that season even though he existed as a person obviously). He's our connection to Teresa's past self, and her connection to that past self, now that Tony is dead. I get it that that's part of why Teresa may be avoiding him. That really totally makes sense. And even so, I think seeing more of the tension between the two of them on-screen would make the central conflict of the season--the tension between Teresa now and the Teresa she used to be--a lot clearer.
So, I appreciated the flickers of that in this episode. The looks they exchanged in every scene they had together. The subtle ("black market antiques dealer, used to work out of Berlin") and not so subtle (motorcycle stoppie) moments of James peacocking for her and her slightly-longer-than-necessary eye contact with him after each of them. Her sincere but slightly breathless "thank you" after he delivered the artwork to her, which I interpreted as partly relief and partly being caught off guard by his sexiness (and competence!). And then her following him out to the balcony to have a... 15-second conversation about taking over Europe 😑 Come on! Their 5x06 conversation on the couch with drinks had better be longer than 15 seconds is all I can say. 🤞
I'm not complaining. I really enjoyed the episode. I still think we'll get payoff. (I mean, Dailyn wrote episode 3x09, so she's gotta be a shipper too, right?! She also wrote 3x12, which is the one in which Teresa finally tells James she doesn't want to lose him. I try not to follow anything she says on social, though, because I feel like she's a bit of a game-player with the fans lol.) But I am ready for more of their duo featuring! I can't wait to see what they bring.
Other thoughts:
POTE. Stop being a freaking chauvinist weirdo about your kid being a boy. Finally people are calling him out on that.
Also, POTE. Stop being such a douche to James! What's with all the grumbling at the man?! (Seriously, what is the point of that from a story perspective...?)
I really really love Teresa and Oksana together. I loved their dynamic back in Season 4 and I loved it this episode. I think part of it is that, without Camila, and without Castel (why didn't Castel become a major character in Season 4 though?), we don't have another female crime boss for Teresa to collaborate with and it's just, it's refreshing having her dealing with another woman. Also Vera Cherny is a babe. And I love the very very low-key sexual tension between them.
George and Boaz. Yes, Boaz is a loose cannon clearly. I'm not sure how George isn't picking up on that but I still loved all George's great lines.
How Boaz thinks he can take over Teresa's business and run a global cartel lololol clearly the guy is delusional and understands nothing about how she actually got as far a she did. But good luck trying buddy. I mean, maybe that's not even his end-game, maybe he's just tired of reporting to a boss who's way less volatile than him? Maybe he's just, as Pote says, a ticking time bomb? Either way, you got it good man, I wouldn't go messing around with a good thing. He's going to, of course, but it's almost funny if he ends up being the final villain.
That said, if he IS the final villain, there's something poetic about that too -- that the ultimate enemy is back home in Mexico where it all started? I kinda like that, tbh.
I know I said I wasn't going to speculate about the rest of the season. Clearly I'm bad at not doing that and who knows, maybe Boaz is just a temporary problem. But I would be surprised if we're already halfway through and the final villain is yet to be introduced.
Unless it's Oksana? It had better not be Oksana.
Or just Teresa herself?
I've seen people talk about Pote and/or KA dying and James and Teresa running off to raise their baby together. FWIW I can get around that as an ending way better than just a "James and Teresa happily ever after" ending. I doubt the series will kill off both of them but at this point for the sake of the story I hope at least one of them does get killed. And sorry Pote but at the moment I hope it's you 😬
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revchainsaw · 3 years
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Buffy: the Vampire Slayer (1997)
Season 1
Hello and Welcome back my creepy congregation! We will be taking todays service from the Big Screen into your living room for our first Personal Devotional. That's Right! We're reviewing full seasons of television series now and what better way to bring the spirit of the genre film to the idiots lantern that with the 90s Television sensation and all around love letter to the horror genre, Buffy the Vampire Slayer!
The Message
Regardless of how one may feel about Mr. Whedon we can't deny how much we love Buffy Summers and the Kids who live and die in Sunnydale! Season one of Buffy was a spin off/reboot of the earlier film and an attempt by Whedon to course correct the franchise by breathing a little charm and attention into the subject matter.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 1) focuses on Buffy Summers, a not so typical California high school student who, due to the events of the movie, has been relocated to Sunnydale High. Buffy is not just a cute, athletic, teenage girl looking to enjoy the prime of her life, though she is those things, she is also the Slayer, an anointed warrior who has been reincarnated throughout the generations to protect our vulnerable weak human world from the forces of evil; particularly Vampires. Buffy is a sort of supernatural Captain America, that is a peak human being, but instead of Nazi Science she was born with her powers.
Joining Buffy are; High School outcasts Willow and Xander (a nerd and a nice guy respectively), The ridiculously sexy librarian Rupert Giles (her mentor, guardian, high school librarian, and all around precious papa bear), Jenny Calendar (a technopagan computer teacher armed with all the mystery an ignorant 90s boomer could attribute to the internet), Angel (Spoiler: He's a Vampire, but he's a good guy. A hunky, broody, good guy vampire love interest), and her loving but entirely oblivious mother. The Scoobies as they have come to be called aid Buffy in her quest to protect Sunnydale from Dark Forces.
And Speaking of those Dark Forces, they are primarily vampires, led by the Master; an ancient vampire who resembles to some degree Nosferatu and a Bat, a look that Guillermo Del Toro would later perfect in his own series the Strain. The Master seeks to fulfill an ancient prophecy that would open the Hellmouth (a portal to hell, exactly what it sounds like) and free him in order that he and his kind should conquer the world.
The first season is fairly short consisting of the following adventures.
1. Welcome to the Hellmouth - Buffy moves to Sunnydale seeking to leave her Vampire ways behind, but the vampires just won't let her catch a break.
2. The Harvest - Vampire Shenanigans continues. Buffy learns of the Master.
3. Witch - A fellow Cheerleader is possessed by her witchy mom.
4. Teachers Pet - Buffy vs Giant Mantis
5. Never Kill a Boy on the First Date - Buffy vs the Anointed One (Not Really)
6. The Pack - Buffy vs Hyena Possessed High School Bullies
7. Angel - Buffy vs Angel but actually Darla
8. I, Robot ... you, Jane - Buffy vs Internet Demon
9. The Puppet Show - Buffy and Sid the Dummy vs Organ Harvesting Demon
10. Nightmares - Buffy has bad dreams
11. Out of Mind, Out of Sight - Buffy vs Invisible Nerd
12. Prophecy Girl - Buffy vs The Master (also Buffy Dies)
Overall the short season, while not allowing for too much world building, kept the show to a format that allowed very little filler. So although we mostly only get vampires as villains, we don't have enough time to really be bored of it. Some of the shows dynamics and cultural concerns definitely date the series but overall Season 1 of Buffy is definitely not a difficult watch, and can be enjoyed over and over again.
Let's get to the Benediction:
Best Character: Slay Girl, Slay!
As far as season one goes the titular Buffy Summers is the best character. Sarah Michelle Gellar is absolutely charismatic in the lead role and though at times she may seem selfish or reckless it makes perfect sense for the character. The character is allowed to be weak, to be selfish, and to be unlikeable. She avoids the foibles of a Luke Skywalker or a Harry Potter. She joins the ranks of primary protagonists who are not constantly outshined by their supporting cast. I believe when Buffy is sad, I believe when she throws a punch, I believe she struggles with her destiny. The only thing I don't believe is how ditsy she let's on.
Best Actor: Head's Up!
Anthony Stewart Head. Head as Giles is just fantastic. His balance of frustration with Buffy and genuinely parental concern is heartwarming and absolutely makes Giles one of the warmest father figures in television history.
Best Episode: A 'Master'ful Finale
It all builds up to Prophecy Girl and for good reason. Television shows often have mini-finale's at the end of their first seasons because the teams behind the series are not sure they will have a chance to tell more of their story. For that reason you can see just the first season of most television series and feel like you've heard the whole deal. I wish this habit was kept up in other seasons as we wouldn't still be wondering what the hell happened to Joel at the end of the Santa Clarita Diet. Buffy is no exception to this phenomenon and therefor attempted to tie up much of it's narrative in Prophecy Girl. While that often means big bads will be dispatched, I think it's a small price to pay for not winding up in a cliff hanger. Buffy and Giles just shine in this episode, Angel is given a more heroic role, Willow finally values herself as she should and Xander stops being a fucking horrible human being for once. This episode really satisfies in all areas.
Best Villain: Sweet, Sweetheart Killer
It's such a shame that Darla was killed so early on in the franchise. She is such a great presence on the screen that she overshadows all the villains that play alongside her, even the Master. I would have loved to have seen an alternate season where she offs the old coot and assumes the role of big bad much like Spike does in Season 2. Lucky for everyone that Darla is featured throughout the show in flashbacks and I hear she is even resurrected in Angel. Also, for Scott Pilgrim fans I feel like she and Envy Adams are very much sympatico. Maybe if they reboot Buffy all my dreams will come true.
I'd also like to take this time to recommend the song Angels and Darlas by Say Hi! It's pretty good.
Best Monster Design: Internet Troll!
While I can't speak for where the money in Season 1 of Buffy went, I can say that at least some decent cash was spent on both the forms of Moloch the Corruptor from the Episode "I, Robot ... You, Jane". Moloch was pretty wicked looking as a machine toward the end of the episode, he looked like a Mortal Kombat villain, but it's the green scales and ram horns the actor is sporting at the beginning of the episode that really catches the eye. In fact, I'm feeling compelled to hunt down any Moloch the Corruptor merch that may be out there on the internet. It's certainly no mystery why the demon's face is featured prominently in the theme song. It just looks great! Good job to the make up department there.
Most WTF moment: "Pack"s a Punch on Principle
While not the greatest episode in season one "the Pack" is certainly worth the watch if for no other reason than the horror is kicked up when a group of high school students under the influence of a malevolent Hyena God, decide that the School Mascot is not enough to satisfy their bloodlust turn on the principal, and yes, THEY EAT HIM. I remember being completely caught of guard the first time I saw that scene, and it kickstarted the running gag of Sunnydale high principles meeting their demise in horrific ways.
Worst Character: No More Mr. Nice Guy
When I was in college I often felt bad for Xander. The funny guy who just had no luck with women. He was sarcastic but had a big heart, and used a horny gimmick to mask his loneliness, or so I thought. But now I am older, I am wiser, I have known the touch of another human being and I have to say that Xander Harris is a really scummy fellow. I don't remember thinking so poorly and I wonder if the character develops a more nuanced view of women as the show goes on. As it stands there's barely a point in the series that Xander does not view the female cast as objects for him to enjoy or be embittered towards for one reason or another. It's not charming, it's foul. Xander Harris of season one is absolutely a terrorist attack waiting to happen, if Buffy had happened today it would be much more concerning to see someone so embittered, horny, and entitled to womens time and energy as Xander Harris. Dude is one step away from pulling an Elliot Rogers. Calm down buddy and maybe actually listen to a woman and you may find you aren't as much of a 'nice guy' as you think.
Worst Episode(s): If you're not first ...
It's a toss up on this one. Season One of Buffy is actually so short and concise that the 'Monster of the Week' episodes will have to be up for grabs as the worst episode by default, but even they are pretty watchable and don't warrant the vitriol a "worst" dub usually entails. I'd say there is not a worst episode of season one, just some episodes that aren't as good as the rest. In that vain, take your pick from "Witch", "Out of Mind, Out of Sight", or "The Puppet Show". However, I'd be doing a disservice to those episodes not to mention that each one of them takes what could just be a basic Buffy Vs (insert Villain), and does something unique and interesting with the idea. The villain of "Witch" actually turns out to be a has been cheerleader actually possessing the body of her innocent daughter to relive her glory years, The Invisible Girl is actually the victim of social cruelty, her peers disinterest in her manifesting in her condition becoming quite literal and she is picked up by the military in the end, then the Puppet show, well, it's just about the stupidest most absurd thing that could possibly happen and it's completely unafraid of that fact.
Summary:
Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Season 1) is not the most groundbreaking TV, but it is absolutely evident why the show was such a phenomenon. Season 1 is particularly rewatchable. It does not demand too much investment or attention, but it will get it from you, especially on a first viewing. It's not afraid to take itself absolutely seriously or to plant it's tongue firmly in it's cheeks. It is to a degree a product of it's time, but in many other aspects feels timeless.
Overall Grade: B
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seapandora · 3 years
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Illusion, Part 4/?
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Illusion|Part 4/?
Bucky x oc!Lori
Warnings: Angst, betrayal, swearing, torture, (suicide is mentioned once), violence
A/N: Part 4, wow. Ehum, Its this part and one more before I take a sort of break from this fic for a bit. There might be a one-shot here or there, but for now I´m just tired of writing this. I still live the story though so I´m not leaving it just yet, but I have so much in my head right now. Thanks for coming by! Please comment, reblog, like and share this if you enjoyed it! I appreciate it! As always, gif-credit to the owner! Oh and send me a message or so to get added to the taglist!
Summary: Reader is a supersoldier, one of a number, one of nine. Hydra´s backup for the asset. The group was started in 1974 and has been working under the radar, training for the day when the asset no longer exists. Lori is the only one left. Left in a cryo, she wasn’t discovered until 2023 when a certain captain and his buddy found her.
Words: 9k+ (I´m so sorry, this chapter, as a full thing, was a bit of a bitch)
Taglist: @selfsun​
2024
Lori walked back to Wanda and immediately began to tell her what had just happened. She wanted to solidify it in her memory, it was one of the best things that had ever happened to her. Wanda was happy for her but made sure that she was okay before she asked for any details. They finished up the decorating while joking around before they walked to the kitchen. Wanda had to finish up her gifts for everyone, which happened to be cookies for everyone. Lori was not a baker and Wanda didn´t want help anyways, but Lori stayed as company.
The kitchen was also one of Lori´s favorite rooms to be in. It looked similar in almost every house and so did the compounds kitchen. Lori had a good memory from her life before Hydra and from before her mother started to hate her, and it had been in their kitchen, baking a cake together. She couldn´t remember why they were baking a cake, and she couldn´t remember what type of cake it was. All she could remember was that it was something she made with her mom.
Wanda talked away, as if she could feel the unrest and thinking Lori was doing. As if she was trying to distract Lori from her own mind. Wanda made sure to keep Lori busy with questions about the cookies for the other members. Like flavor, color and shapes. For Thor, they had decided on hammers and lightning bolts. His flavor of choice was always oranges and Wanda had made him orange-infused cookies. Loki would get cookies in the shape of reindeers with a mix of chocolate and vanilla flavor. Sam was getting bird-shaped chocolate-chip cookies. Wanda put a little more love into Sams cookies. They had gotten close over the past few years, but neither felt like it was the right time to pursue their feelings. Wanda was still in therapy after the loss of Vision. Loosing him twice had been a heavy blow to her and for a while she had let herself go which had led to her safety being in danger several times. Sam was always there for her but he had his own issues of course, suffering from more PTSD than he previosly had. The inifinity war and then endgame had brought back a lot of bad memories, and then having Steve leave had just been the icing on the cake.
Lori was quietly rooting for them to get together, and her christmas gift for Sam was part of that. Wanda was working quickly and using her powers to clean up while she was baking. Lori was sitting on the countertop and dangled her legs a bit. It was really nice to just hang out with Wanda and not have to think too hard on anything in particular. Peter eventually joined them and tried to snatch a few cookies which Wanda wouldn´t tolerate and Lori had to pull Peter away, into the livingroom, to stop the fighting.
A movie would surely distract Peter from the cookies and Lori could always use some Peter time. He was like a little brother to her and she loved him dearly. She loved spending time with him and watching their favorite movies. Currently they were knee-deep in Supernatural, the series, and they could fit in one of the christmas episodes before Sam would take charge of the tv and force them all to watch Die Hard, or some other bad christmas movie, he had been ranting about the past few weeks. Peter wasn´t brave enough to watch Supernatural on his own, so he came over two or three nights a week to watch a couple of episodes with Lori.
Once the episode was done Sam put on Die Hard to everyones groans and complaints. He didn´t care though and blabbered on about it being tradition. Despite the complaints everyone watched it, even the gods… although both Loki and Thor had questions about the plot. Sam did his best to explain or make sure they had patience for the plot to evolve and show itself. The 2 hour movie left them all exhausted on the couches. Lori and Peter had all but fallen asleep. Peter was laying on Lori who was laying on Bucky. The couch wasn´t very big, at least not for two supersoldiers and a boy who was still growing.
Bucky let out a soft cough and gently poked Lori to get her to sit up. “Come on sleepy head. Let´s get you to bed, the couch is comfortable but not as good as your bed, plus I might provide cuddles if you come with me,” he whispered and kissed Lori´s temple. She hummed and nodded before she slowly began to sit up. She gently nudged Peter and let him wake up fully before she pushed him off her. Lori was exhausted and she groaned as her back cracked when she stretched. The others looked over to her and she raised her eyebrows. “What? I´m almost 70, technically. Leave me alone,” she joked and that was the first time anyone had heard her joke about her age.
Age had been a very sensitive subject according to the therapist Lori had been paired with, but they had worked on it a lot. Lori clearly wasn´t 70 something years. She had been frozen for at least 30 of those years. Considering the serum and all her training the doctors had first aged her around 30 when she came to the compound. Technically she would have turned 30 the year she was put in cryo. It didn´t do her well to dwell on her age though. That was why she had started to joke about it. It took the bad vibes away from it.
Peter yawned but got up. They all helped clean up the livingroom before they made their way to their own rooms. Lori, Sam and Bucky all had rooms on the same floor. They took the elevator because they were all too tired for the stairs. Lori was the most tired and Bucky eventually picked her up as she seemed to be falling asleep standing.
Sam smirked as he saw the two of his best friends together. He was really happy for them. Of course he had noticed the change in their behavior towards each other during the afternoon. He may be a bit dull, but he wasn´t stupid. They went their separate ways from the elevator. Bucky carried Lori to her room and gently tucked her into bed where she would be the most comfortable. He got her a water-bottle as well to have on her nightstand. Once she was in bed he went to his own room and put on some news to fall asleep too. The quiet wasn´t something he enjoyed anymore, and he needed some sound around him to be able to fall asleep.
He slept well for a few hours. At 3.30 in the morning he woke up to something warm pressing against his right arm. He opened one eye and chuckled as he noticed Lori trying to slip in unnoticed. “Bad dreams or just cold?” He asked quietly and got comfortable on his back before opening his arms to let Lori curl up close. “A bit of both. This time of year brings out some bad memories. Plus I forgot to turn the heat up in my room and I´ve lost my extra blanket,” she mumbled and buried her face in Buckys neck. He was so warm, even his metal arm was at an ambient temperature.
Lori was soon asleep again, before Bucky had the chance to answer her, but he let her sleep. He wanted her to have all the energy possible for Christmas Eve, and if that meant sleeping in his bed, enveloped by his warmth, then he wouldn´t complain. He was also a little pissed that they didn´t have the time to cuddle during the evening before, but again, he wouldn´t complain. The past few days had been more than Bucky could have ever hoped for. He got to spend time with his family, and he had gotten together with a girl he had learned to know as a sweet and warm person, over the past few months. This Christmas definitely wouldn´t be so bad.  
They slept through Buckys alarm. It had been set for 6 am, but neither of them heard it. They stayed cuddled up together until Friday made them aware of the other avengers waiting for them for breakfast. Bucky turned around to look at his phone, Lori seemed to be asleep still and he didn´t want to wake her up. They had no reason to get up early, The Donald Duck showing was available online and Lori had spoken on her wish to see it at around 3 pm local time. She claimed it felt right to watch it at 3 pm local time instead of Swedish time. That was all good with Bucky. He mumbled out a command for Friday to let them sleep in a bit more. He turned back to Lori who curled up to his side and pressed her lips against Buckys neck. “What´s going on? What time is it?” She asked softly, but she didn´t make any effort to wake up. “It´s just after 8, we can go back to sleep for a little bit,” he replied quietly and kissed her forehead.
While Bucky hadn´t expected himself to fall asleep again, he was glad he did when he woke up two hours later. He felt very relaxed and well-rested. Bucky turned his head and smiled as he found himself staring into the bright eyes of Lori. “Morning,” he mumbled and turned onto his side to look at Lori. “Merry Christmas Buck,” she said softly and leaned over, pecking his cheek quickly. Neither of them were much for laying in bed after having woken up and they decided to get up to get some breakfast.
Sam had made pancakes for everyone and once Bucky and Lori arrived in the kitchen he reheated four of the pancakes for the two supersoldiers. “We chose to bring out the whole deal so toppings are on the table,” he said and nodded to the big table to urge the two to sit down. “It started snowing late last night and it´s still going so we probably won´t be able to go anywhere. Wanda and I were thinking of going down to the river and pay our respects to Natasha, Vision and Tony. Pepper is going tomorrow with Morgan and we were thinking we could leave something nice at the memorial.” Sam continued and plated the pancakes for Bucky and Lori.
The two sat down by the table and smiled as Sam served them the pancakes. Lori decided to put jelly on her pancakes. She had never really liked Nutella, well she liked it, but only in croissants. She got the raspberry jam and put some on her pancakes before she poured herself some mango-juice. “I would really like to come with you to the memorial. If that´s alright?” Lori asked softly before she dug into her pancakes. They were delicious of course. Sam and Wanda nodded eagerly and smiled. They both looked to Bucky who shook his head a bit. He had never been able to ask for forgivness from Tony, and he felt unworthy of paying respect to people he had once fought. It didn´t matter how much Wanda and Sam encouraged him to go, or how much Morgan had begged him to go. It felt wrong.  
“You guys go, and I´ll clean up and prep lunch for us, okay?” Bucky asked and smiled softly. The three in front of him smiled and nodded in agreement. None of them wanted to force Bucky into a situation where he would feel uncomfortable. Lori gulped dopwn her juice and pancakes happily. “These are so good Sam, what do we have to do to get you to make these every day?” She asked and looked at Sam. He chuckled and shook his head. “Nothing in the world can make me get up early enough to make breakfast for y´all,” he said and looked back at Lori.
She finished eating after fifteen minutes or so and leaned back in her seat groaning softly. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back hearing a familiar crack in her neck. Wanda made a sound of disgust and shuddered. “I really wish you would stop doing that,” she said and poked Lori´s arm. “Hey, don´t judge my bones, or get me new ones,” she teased Wanda back and slapped her hand away gently.
Sam, Wanda, and Lori left the kitchen once they had put the dishes in the dishwasher. Sam and Lori went to their floor while Wanda went to her own, or rather the one she sometimes shared with Peter and they all got dressed for the snowy, and chilly december day. Lori went for some sweatpants and a hoodie, sure it wasn´t super-conventional to go to a memorial site in such clothing, but she would stand back, she was there for her friends, not those the memorial was for.  
Sam had gone for jeans and a nicer shirt and jacket while Wanda had put on a dark red dress and her coat. Sure Lori felt a bit underdressed but it was okay. Peter, Pepper and Morgan were all going the next day so she didn´t have to impress anyone. They left Bucky to prepare lunch. He had promised not to go overboard with it but they all knew he would anyways. Bucky always went all in with a task. He was planning on making meatballs, baked potatoes, and cooked salmon for them all.
The three avengers didn´t stay long at the meorial. Sam and Wanda left their gifts for Vision and Natasha and they all wished the three former avnegers a merry christmas and a happy new year. Lori stuffed her hands in her pockets and pulled her shoulders up towards her ears. It was getting windy out and if this continued they would get snowed in over the new years. She looked up to the sky and took a deep breath. She jumped a bit when she felt a heavy hand land on her shoulder. it was warms o she figured it was Thor, and she was correct.
Thor had decided to join them in silence. While he wasn´t close with all of the avengers he still had serious respect for them all, and he for sure missed Tony a lot. Tony had helped him get past a rough patch, and Thor didn´t believe he had repaid that debt. He therefore saw it as his duty to keep a check on the universe and the new avengers in Tony´s stead. Lori gave him a soft smile and patted his hand. “Are you and your brother staying til tomorrow?” She asked quietly. Thor seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts before he replied. “Yes, we also know swedish people traditionally celebrate tonight so we thought we´d dance around the tree with you tonight. And it might bring you joy that Loki has agreed, although quite unwillingly,” he said with a bright smile.
“Wow, that´s huge coming from Loki,” Lori chuckled and stepped closer to Thor who wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She felt really happy around the gods. Thor was like the teddy bear brother she had always wanted, while Loki was the kind of brother who made sure she was educated and always had books to read. Loki had helped Lori with a lot of the history in the past 30 years. She had missed a lot. Espeially when it came to freedom and technology. While the technology hadn´t been hard to grasp, it had been ahrd to grasp that Europe was no longer as segregated as it had once been. The soviet was no more, and neither was Yugoslavia. Sweden had joined the European Uninion, and the world looked slightly different. A few wars had been fought, a few were still ongoing. Old conflicts had been exchanged for new ones.
Lori was really confused by the new world. She couldn´t understand why peace wasn´t an option or why people couldn´t get along. She had also found that social media added a whole other problem, and that more fights were breaking out because of it. It was all very strange and Lori did her best to stay out of conflicts. She had an instagram, but she barely used it, and it was run by HR anyways. She never read comments, she didn´t read news about herself or the team.
She was unsure where her thoughts came from, but she guessed it was because of the current season and the holiday in front of them. Lori had always learned that Christams was for thanking God for everything in her life. Sweden of course didn´t have thanksgiving and very few other holidays were they would be thankful. It was weird. It was strange to have gone from Europe to USA. The culture was very different. It had been a schock to Lori in the beginning. Now, while she wouldn´t say it didn´t bother her, she could handle the different culture and how different people were.
Sam and Wanda came over to the god and the supersoldier and Lori held her hand out for Wanda. Anyone with a sense, knew Wanda needed some comforting. Vision had been a very important person to her. A role no one could really fill, even though some had tried. Wanda smiled at Lori and stayed close to her as they made their way back to the compound. The snow was coming down hard now and eventually they found themselves running to the compound, rather than walking. They made it inside just in the for the wind to pick up as well, and they all let out a sigh of relief.
Wanda seemed cold and Lori made sure to get her to the couch and wrap her up in a few blankets. “Do you want some tea?” Lori asked and gently stroke Wandas hair. They were so close now, like sisters. Wanda nodded and Lori walked to the kitchen to get her a cup of hot tea. Bucky was all up in the cooking and Lori chuckled a bit as she watched him. “Hey there Ace, want some help?” She asked as she filled the ketle with water. She flipped the little switch and turned around to watch Bucky while she crossed her arms.
“Only if you´d like too sweetie. You dont have to,” he said and shrugged. “I´ll happily help,” Lori replied quickly and smiled at him. “I just need to get the tea to Wanda,” she added and walked over to Bucky wrapping an arm around his waist. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his cheek. “I´m awful when it comes to cooking but I can for sure roll the meatballs,” she chuckled and hummed as she leaned her head on Buckys flesh arm. The water was done within seconds, much thanks to Stark tech, which Lori had learned fairly quickly.
Everything was fast, there was no need to wait for anything really. It had been a strange thing to get accostumed too. Speed with any kind of technology in the late 60s and early 70s wasn´t something that existed. Television was a very good example. During the 60s Sweden only had one channel. It wasn´t until 69 that sweden got its second tv-channel. Lori´s family recieved a tv in 1965, but Lori wasn´t allowed to watch a whole lot of it. She wasn´t allowed to watch tv everyday until she was 18, in 1970. 1970 was also the year they officially got colored television. Losing all that when she was pulled into Hydra and then getting it all back multiplied by a million was a weird and unsettling experience.
Technology had been, as one would imagine a tough learning curve. Hydra had techonolgy, and “modern” one at that, but Lori had still gone into the ice in the late 80s or early 90s. Everything was different back then. She had still to fully grasp the wastness of television and cellphones. Her phone wasn´t used a lot and charged maybe once a week because she used it so little. Had she been given a choice she would have skipped the phone completely.
Bucky kissed her forehead before he helped her get a cup, and some of the better tea that was stored higher up. Lori prepared the cup quickly and brought it out to Wanda, who had been joined by Sam on the couch. Lori handed her the cup before she made her way back to the kitchen. The big windows showed the snow coming down harder than Lori had ever seen before. “Would you mind if I put on some music?” She asked Bucky who shrugged as a reply. He wasn´t much for music, but he realized Lori would feel better with it on in the background.
Lori was aware that Bucky didn´t care much for music, so normally she wouldn´t put on music. There was enough noice going on around them anyways, but now the compound was silent, and nature made no sound. Birds weren´t chirping, and the snow falling on the windows and roof wasn´t audible. “Friday, please play my Christmas list, low volume,” Lori said out into the blue, before she washed her hands to be able to roll some meatballs. Bucky had heard part of her christmas list earlier and he actually liked it. It was mostly older songs, and even better, older versions of the songs, none of the Mariah Carey-shit. He couldn´t handle the newer versions, it was too much pop, or whatever the kids called it.
A lot of the songs were also in swedish, and Bucky wasn´t too mad about that. As an american in the 1920s his geography lessons had been less than detailed. Hell, not all states had been formed when Bucky was born, and not when he was in school either. Bucky had been good in school. He had always been an overachiever, but he had also had an academic interest which he would have pursued had he not inlisted. He chuckled to himself at the thought. It was always strange to imagine the life he would have, was it not for the war. For one, he would be dead, probably by a few years margin. Second he would have most likely found himself a good girl to marry. Maybe that girl would have been Dolores.
He tended not to dwell on what could have been. That had been every therapists recommendation, and so he didn´t. But sometimes, like with the music that was clearly from the 60s, 70s, and 80s, thoughts came wandering. He felt lucky to be a part of the avengers though, because it meant he was isolated. He didn´t have to change too much to fit in with the outside world if he didn´t want to. He didn´t have to listen to modern music because that´s what others did, he could stick with his 20s and 30s jazz.
Bucky looked over to Lori who was humming along to one of the swedish songs that was playing. He wasn´t in any rush to finish his tasks, as it would be better to have the meatballs done first. Almost everything else was already prepared. He decided to help Lori, it would go a bit quicker that way even if she seemed fairly sure with the rolling. He washed his hands before he took his place besides Lori and grabbed some of the meat. He had gone for beef raher than pork, neither Lori, Sam or Wanda liked pork.
They had all of the meat rolled up and lined on a sheet in just a few minutes, Lori had already done a big part of it. Bucky put the tray in the oven and set a timer for 20 minutes. He had a bit of a different approach to meatballs than many others. He always threw them in the oven and then fried them up in some crushed tomatoes. It wasn´t traditionally how meatballs were made in Sweden, because of course he had looked that up.
Lori hummed to herself before she began to sing along with the song that was playing. She was no singer, that was for sure, but she didnt sing for others. Her therapist had asked what her hobbies had been before she was kidnapped and Lori had answered singing so here she was singing, trying to take back what she had liked. Her mother had always sung Christmas songs with her when they were driving during the winter. That had been some of the best times of Lori´s life.
Wanda and Sam came into the kitchen together. They both seemed happy and calm, and Wanda seemed to be a lot warmer. “Hey, lunch should be done in about half an hour or so,” Bucky said and smiled at the two. Sam nodded and patted Wandas shoulder. “I´ll get a fire started in the diningroom, maybe you could set the table Wan?” Sam asked and smiled at them all. Wanda nodded and Lori offered to help her, but Wanda declined, reasoning that Lori had helped Bucky cook. Lori huffed and crossed her arms, ready to argue but Wanda just turned her around and pushed her into Bucky. “Dance with her and make sure she stays out of my way while I set the table,” Wanda told Bucky and left the two in the kitchen.
Bucky managed to catch Lori by the waist and kept her close. “Well, my lady, would you care to dance with me?” He asked and held out his hand for her to take. She took his hand gently and squealed as he pulled her closer and placed his other hand on her waist. Lori had never danced. She had learnt a bit during her time in Hydra, but only enough for one mission. Bucky asked Friday to raise the volume slightly and the two began to dance to the tunes of `Have yourself a merry little christmas`. The Sinatra version. If it was one thing that Bucky had learnt it was that Lori really liked Sinatras voice and found it soothing enough that she often fell asleep with his music playing.
It was very noticable that neither of them were used to dancing or had done it in a long while, but that was alright. They managed to avoid each others toes at least, which they were both happy with. Dancing with Bucky was fun. Lori had never had that much fun. She felt seen for the first time. The timer for the oven went off behind them and they both sighed. Bucky leaned down and pressed a quick, and soft, kiss to Loris´ lips before he released her to take out the meatballs. Lori stood frozen for a second before she decided to move so she was out of the way.
Bucky got the meatballs and immediatly tossed them into a pot he had prepared with tomato-sauce. He wasn´t sure what spices to toss in so he had gone for paprika, garlic, black pepper, and oregano. He had also shredded some mozzarella beforehand. Again it wasn´t a very traditional thing to have on Christmas, but it was meatballs at least. He turned the pot, which contained water and potatoes, on. Lori stayed out of the way as this was Buckys field now. She jumped up on an empty counter and swung her legs a bit as she watched Bucky work.
The food was prepared to perfection, everyone thought so, apart from Bucky. He was happy with most of it, but he was nervous. He wanted Lori to approve of it so badly. He had done it all for her after all. He wanted her to be able to hold on to some traditions, and if that meant them all eating together for two whole days then so be it. He would also sit through an hour of Donald Duck for Lori if it made her happy.
They all helped each other fix up the last of the lunch and took it out into the dining room. Bucky called out to everyone through Friday and they all gathered in the dining room. Aunt May had arrived just in time for lunch, and Peter had brought Ned as well. Scott and Hope was there, like Bruce and the gods. Lori sat down between Loki and Bucky. She poured herself and Bucky some water and asked wether Loki wanted some or if he was drinking mead. He accepted the water quietly and the whole team began to dig into the food on the table. There was definitely enough for them all.
Conversations were started and ended, but no one was arguing, as if it was a quiet rule. Not even Bruce and Thor argued about what was magic and what was science. Loki was quiet in general apart from when Wanda asked him a few questions abut his powers and how they differed from hers. They hadn´t always seen eye to eye and they hadn´t had a lot of time together to just talk. Lori smiled her way through the lunch. She felt happy, and safe. Safe was the most important, but feeling happy was an amazing experince.
The food was all eaten by half past two. Sam was complaining about how full he was and Wanda was teasing him for it. Bucky was quiet but he looked satisfied and happy. Thor was wondering if there was more food while Loki had picked up his book. Lori sighed happily before she began to clear the table. It was getting close to tv-time but it was always nice to have some stuff cleared up. She grabbed all the plates and got them all to the dishwasher. Bucky helped her of course and they cleared off the table quickly, and then moved to the livingroom with the rest of the team.
Bucky took the two-seat couch and patted the seat besides him to invite Lori, who made her way over to him happily. Sam and Wanda took the other two-seater while the others sprawled out on the third couch or the bean-bags on the floor. Bucky wrapped a blanket around them and pulled Lori into his arms before he asked Friday to play the Donald Duck showing from the swedish television with english subtitles.
Lori curled up to his side and laid her head on his shoulder as the hour-long segment started. She was quite invested in it in general and laughed a bit as the music was all in swedish. She could definitely recognize a lot of it from her childhood but there was also some new parts she didn´t know off. even when she was a kid there would always be new parts to the show, seeing as Disney were growing. Some of the original scenes had been shortened and some were completely new, from recent movies.
She was close to falling asleep by the end of the hour, as a mix of the food and just the calmness she was experiencing. She was happy. No other word could describe what she was feeling. Content maybe, but in general it was a positive experience and she was very glad she got to share this moment with the people that had saved her and helped her. She was especially happy that Bucky felt like spending the time with her, and her crazy traditions. He truly had done a lot for her in her months at the compound, and part of her regretted how she had treated him in the beginning. Especially when she broke his nose.
Bucky stroke her arm lazily. She was warm and soft under his touch, but he was cautious. He knew her strength, and part of him felt responsible. But he wasn´t with her out of pity, and he hadn´t enjoyed their kiss out of pity. The only thing he hated, was seeing what Hyda had destroyed within her. Much like how they destroyed him. Stripped him of his personality and replaced it with the one of a killer. While he was uncertain about the fate Lori had planned for her while in Hydra, he was under the impression she didn´t have as many kills under her belt as he did. He sighed softly before he stretched.
His watch showed 4.07 pm and he hummed. “I kind of want to take you out tonight, to a really nice place I usually go to for peace and quiet. How does that sound?” He asked quietly into Lori´s ear. She looked back and up at him and nodded. Her face was heating up quite a bit at the thought but she would love to spend a larger amount of time alone with Bucky. “Do you mean like a date or just dinner?” She asked and bit her bottom lip. Bucky chuckled softly and nodded. “Well, I was thinking of it as a date. But, changes can be made,” Bucky said but Lori shook her head. “No, no, I´d be very happy to go on a date with you, as long as it stops snowing,” she mumbled and looked to the outside to the darkness that faced them.
The team went their separate ways. The gods were going to Aasgard. Well, new Aasgard, to celebrate the night there. Wanda and Sam had plans on going out on their own, and Bruce was off to help some of the local hospitals with some new equipment. Peter and May were opting to just stay in and take a nice evening together. Lori got to her room to get ready. She had asked Wanda for help. She had no talent in putting together an outfit, which was why she was mostly in sweats or cargo pants. A black shirt went well with that obviously, and that´s why her warderobe looked just as dark as the vast space.
Wanda came to her room half an hour after Lori, and knocked before she opened the door. “Okay, let´s get you dolled up, I brought three dresses, two skirts, and some blouses that you can choose from. I also know you own two pairs of black jeans, one pair untorn, that I would recommend you keep in mind,” she explained as she placed the clothes on Loris bed. Of course she noticed it was made like it had been the day before, and she quickly deduced it hadn´t been slept in at all and that Lori had spent the night with Bucky. She didn´t mention it though, it was none of her business.
“Do you want to borrow a bracelet or some earrings. Maybe a necklace?” Wanda asked as she went through Loris wardrobe in search of a few nice shirts and her jeans, which she had realized Lori wasn´t wearing. “So, do you know where Bucky´s taking you?” She asked and looked over at Lori. Lori just shook her head and sighed. “He said a nice, quiet place,” she replied and sighed softly. “That makes me want to bet on jeans and a nice shirt or blouse. Maybe I can borrow the gray one from you?” She asked and looked to Wanda. “Of course you can borrow it. Are you wearing heels or just sneakers? Or are you going for like proper boots?” Wanda asked and frowned knowing Lori favored the boots over almost anything. Lori shrugged and looked to her warderobe, and her small selection of shoes.
Lori walked over and picked up her boots. They were simple matte black ones, but she really liked them. They were very comfortable. And they would keep her warm through the snow. “I´m going with the boots today, so jeans it is. I think the gray blouse would look great with them and then I´ll just throw on my black coat on top of that,” Lori explained and pulled everything out to line it up on the bed. “Are you sure? You won´t get cold when you take the coat off then?” Wanda asked and frowned. Lori chuckled a bit at Wandas worrying expression. “I´m a super-soldier Wan. I run warm, just like Bucky. We aren´t as affected by the cold,” she smiled and shrugged. “Plus I´m guessing I´m getting some warm food and possibly coffee or tea after that, so either way I should be fine,” she added quickly.
She really liked the outfit they had picked out. The jeans and blouse fit her perfectly and she pulled on some socks before she pulled on her boots. Wanda walked over to her nightstand and picked up the necklace Lori had lying there. “Wear this as well,” She said and helped Lori put it on. It was quite squiggly and silver but it was still very simple and went with pretty mcuh whatever Lori was wearing. Lori turned around when she was done and held out her hands. “Well, do you think this will be okay?” She asked Wanda and frowned. Wanda smiled and nodded happily. “You look great Lori,” she replied and skipped over to Lori to hug her. Wanda didn´t mention make-up as Lori didn´t wear make-up, ever. She found it unneccessary, seeing as she always got sweaty on missions. And she didn´t understand the whole deal anyways, there was just too much of it.
Back in her day, back in the 60s, when Lori would have been wearing makeup, the things she used was eyeliner and mascara and that was it. Now there was so much more, and so many different versions of essentially the same product. She had felt so confused while walking into a CVS, and seeing the whole aisle of makeup. It had freaked her out to begin with, not that she cared if anyone else liked it, or used that much makeup. She was just worried that that was the supposedly new normal.
She didn´t put on any makeup for the date either. It was still snowing and that was a good way to get runny mascara, which wasn´t a very attractive look. Wanda skipped out of her room to get ready for her own dinner date. Lori watched herself in the mirror and took a deep breath. The date would either be wonderful or it would be awful, she was hoping for the first option. She took a deep breath before she left her room to go look for Bucky.
He wasn´t far away, waiting in the living room. They were matching, but as always great minds think alike, and Lori was surprised to see him in dark pants, a lighter shirt and a leather jacket. She walked over to him and smiled softly. “You look great,” she said quietly as she began to pull her jacket on so they could leave immediately. Bucky looked up at her and let his eyes wander for a few seconds before he smiled back at her.
“YOU look great. Let´s take one of the nicer cars,” he said and held out his right hand for Lori to hold. She took it happily and intwined their fingers as Bucky led them down to the garage. He had a love for the very beautiful Range Rover the government had bought them. It was sleek, black, and frankly Bucky liked it for all the horsepowers it had. It was also a great car for the winter. He opened the door for Lori and helped her in before he walked over to the drivers side and got in.
It was manual. Bucky approved off that. Not that it mattered a whole lot to him anyways, he didn´t even have a valid drivers license. Sam had pestered him about it the past year but Bucky just couldn´t be bothered, plus he was well recognized as an avenger so cops didn´t stop him. Despite Bucky missing a lisence, Lori preferred his driving over anyone elses. He was always safe, and always kept to the speed-limits. Unless a situation needed him to exceed them.
Lori curled up in the seat and turned the heat on. Not because she was cold but rather because it was comfortable. Bucky glanced over at her every now and then as he drove and he eventually reached over and placed his hand on her leg. Lori smiled and placed her own hand over Buckys. Sure it was his metal-hand, and yes it was a bit cold, but Lori wasn´t bothered by it.
Loris life with Hydra had been hard, rough, and cold, but she had always found comfort in the strict schedule she had to follow. It had changed since then. It was the same shape, but so very different in structure. She couldn´t get to the metal nerves of it and it still bothered her a bit, she just didn´t know why.
Bucky parked the car by a diner which looked to be ancient. He got out of the car and got the door for Lori. “I used to visit this diner back in the 30s and 40s, before the war,” he explained and held out his arm for Lori to hook her own with. She did just that and stayed close to Bucky. “It looks very cozy,” she said softly as she followed him inside. Bucky introduced Lori to the owner, an 80 year old woman who seemed to be slighty too old to run a diner, but she was very nice and active for her age.
They got a table in the far corner from the door and a menu each. They weren´t as sticky as Lori would have expected from a diner. Of course Lori had a preset thought of american diners, but if this was as old as Bucky claimed it to be, she was excited. She looked through the menu but fairly early decided on a burger. It was simple, and no one could make a bad burger in Loris mind.
The old lady returned to take their orders. Bucky ordered a burger as well and diet sodas for them both. Lori watched him, and tilted her head as she leaned her elbows on the table. The lady left them to it for now but returned a few minutes later with their drinks. Not a word had been exchnaged between the two supersoldiers during that time. Once they had their drinks and were properly settled in Bucky let out a soft sigh. “I told Steve to take Peggy here when we were fighting the war, little did I know he wouldn´t come back home. And even less did I know he´d return to her from the 2020s,” he said as he turned the glass in his hand.
“You used to come here before the war with him, didn´t you?” Lori asked and smiled a bit. She really couldn´t imagine Bucky in the 30s and 40s, but she still tried. How different he must have been. How different everything must have been back then. Everything was very different for Lori, just from the beginning of the 90s til the 2020s. She despised some parts of it, but felt lucky to have been able to experience other parts.  
Bucky nodded to her question and crossed his arms. “Yeah, the lil punk used to come here with me. Usually I tried to set up double dates for us, but he was never interested. All he wanted to do was serve,” Bucky explained and looked over to a wall of pictures. Lori followed his gaze and saw a bunch of black and white pictures. Some which clearly resembled Bucky and Steve before the serum. She was very thankful for her enhanced eyesight, which made it easier to see the pictures without having to move. “His father died before he was born, right?” Lori asked and glanced over at Bucky once more. She was trying to tread lightly knowing how important that time, and memories were to Bucky.
“Mhm, he died in the first war, two months before Steve was born. His mom used to say she was lucky that I had entered Steves life. She was working a lot to make sure they were both in a good position, and it helped if Steve stayed at my place,” he said and smiled at the memories. He didn´t have a lot of them, but some of the early memories had come back. “My family had money, I lost my ma when I was a kid, and pa went when I was a teenager. By then it was just me and Becca,” Bucky continued.
Lori listened with great interest. There was only so much she could deduce from a file. She had learned that stories were told, not written in a file. She took a sip of her soda as she listened to Bucky. He spoke of the 30s and 40s with such care. “Becca was sent off to some boarding school, and I didn´t get to see her before I was enrolled. I´ve seen her later on in life. She turned 100, four years ago and I was there to celebrate her, but she passed away a year later. I don´t keep in contact with her kids, it doesn´t feel right,” he added and bit his lip. He wasn´t interested in getting to know his family.
“I can understand that. My cousins have reached out to me, and their kids as well, but I… I just couldn´t bear to face them,” Lori said and sighed. “But, I´m eternally greatful for the family I´ve found with you at the compound.” She said quickly and gave Bucky a soft smile as a reassurance. “Yeah, I was very lucky to be able to join Steve and Sam for a few years. Even if Sam is a pain in the ass he´s still my best friend,” Bucky said and reached out for Loris hand. Lori took his hand quickly and smiled.
The food arrived just a few minutes later, and despite it being on the standard diner plates it looked amazing. And it smelled amazing too. “This looks great,” she told the old lady and got her hand back from Bucky to dig into her burger. She had always been eating the burger before fries. The burger was the main meal after all, and the fries were just a side. Sure she loved fries, but not as much as she loved a proper burger. Bucky started with two fries before he picked up his burger and turned it upside down. Lori watched him and raised an eyebrow but turned her burger as well before she took a big bite of it.
She moaned softly at the taste of it and closed her eyes. Everything about the burger was just perfect. It was savory, and round in flavor. The dressing was delicious and went very well with the pickled red onion. “Okay, from now on, I trust you wherever you take me on a date,” Lori said once she was finished chewing and swallowing her bite. Bucky chuckled at her and shook his head. “This is honestly the only good place I know. I´ve refrained from going to Manhattan or popular New York in general,” he explained and took another bite of his burger.
Lori continued to eat and a few bites in she coughed slightly as a piece of her burger got stuck in her throat. She groaned softly as she swallowed it down with a few sips of her soda. “Fuck, I should know better than to chug down food, shouldn´t I?” She asked and laughed. Bucky laughed with her and reached over with his napkin to wipe some dressing off of her chin. “Hey, I can´t blame you. The burgers are amazing,” he said and smiled softly. He finished his burger in three more bites, and Lori was amazed at how much he could fit into his mouth.
“What´cha staring at doll?” He asked between bites and leaned back as he swallowed his last bite. “Oh, nothing, just a real cute guy,” she teased him and smirked as she watched him. She finished her burger just in time for the old lady to come back and asked how they found their meals. They both thanked the old lady and asked her to send their compliments to the chef. “Well, my husband will be very happy to hear it. You kids are welcome here any time, we love seeing Bucky here, and it´s so nice to see him bring a lady with him,” she said and patted Loris shoulder.
Lori felt her face heat up and looked down at her hands. She wasn´t embarassed, but she felt as if she was getting praise she didn´t deserve. “She is the only one I feel comfortable enough to bring here,” Bucky explained. Lori looked up at him and bit her lip. “Oh, so you´re the only one who can beat him up, when that is necessary?” The old lady asked and placed a hand on her hip while giving Bucky a stern look. Bucky blushed and coughed to himself. “I´ll have you know that I´m a very nice man ma`am, no need for a beating here,” he said quickly. Lori couldn´t help but laugh and shake her head. “Don´t worry ma`am, he already knows I´ll win, I´ve done it once before,” Lori said and glanced to Bucky.
Bucky groaned as he thought back to the day and moment Lori was referring to. He had known Lori was like him, but he had thought she would go easy on him. Or that he´d have the upperhand, with his metal arm and his years of experience and training, but no. He had pushed her over the edge with his teasing and she had broken his nose and bruised him up good. “Yeah, and I was a mouthbreather for a week, that´s your favorite story to tell, but I´m sure Mrs. Green has better things to take of right now,” Bucky said and gritted his teeth a bit. He did not like to be ridiculed, and that story really wasn´t a suitable date-story.
With a sigh Lori instead dug into her fries. “Sorry, but you were the first person I got to fight, and also the first person I touched voluntarily after I came out of the Cryo,” Lori said softly. She didn´t mean to embarass Bucky at all, it was a good memory to her, despite hurting a person she had come to hold very dear. Bucky ate his fries in silence but hummed in approval of her apology. “I know doll, it´s just… I was undefeated until you came along, so my ego was bruised,” he said and frowned. Lori gave him a small smile and reached out to take his hand. “I get it, but hey, I´ll let you win next time, alright? I could use a more fair challenge than Wanda anyways,” she teased him and moved her hand out of his before he could smack it playfully.
“She is quite the unfair fight, isn´t she?” Bucky asked with a chuckle. Lori nodded and laughed. “But it´s great practice, she really keeps me on my toes when we train,” Lori said and shrugged while she polished off her fries. Bucky did the same and leaned back patting his stomach. “Please don´t tell me you´re better than sharing a slice of apple pie with me and have some coffee or tea?” Lori said and smirked at him. “Oh, I´m better. I suggest we get a slice each, and bring them back to the compound for a movie, I can even drive us past a Starbucks if you´d like. I know how much you like their drinks,” he teased Lori.
Lori lit up in front off Bucky and nodded eagerly. “Oh, yes please, I want a peppermint hot chocolate so bad,” she said and clapped her hands excitedly. Bucky chuckled again and ordered their apple pies when Mrs. Green came back. He also brought out his wallet to be ready to pay. Their pies came back in a cute little box with a bow on top. “It´s on the house today kids, just come back every month, alright?” Mrs. Green said and smiled at them both. Lori thanked the old lady a few times and once more complimented the food.
Bucky stood up and reached out to take Loris hand while she grabbed their to-go box. He stepped closer to her and pecked her lips. “Thank you for coming out with me, I always love spending time with you,” he mumbled against her soft lips. Lori smiled against his lips and pressed hers to his once more. “No, thank you Buck, I haven´t really ever been on a date, but this was just perfect,” she said softly with a smile. She was happy, and it showed. Bucky led her out to the car and opened the door for her. “Keep the pie safe, or I´ll have you pay for it later,” Bucky teased Lori who protectively wrapped her arms around the box. He laughed at her and shook his head before he closed the door behind her and got behind the wheel.
“So, Starbucks, and then back home to a movie?” Bucky asked as he backed out of the parking lot. Lori looked out the window at the snow that came down in beautiful flakes. It had eased up quite a bit while they were at dinner. Bucky drove them for a little while before Lori asked him to stop. “You brought your mobilephone, right?” She asked as Bucky parked the car by the side of the road. He nodded with a frown. “Could you take a picture of me, in the snow?” She asked excitedly and opened the car door.
Bucky nodded once more and got out of the car as well. “Alright, let´s do it, but quickly, it´s windy and I really want some coffee,” He confessed and got his phone from his pocket. He looked at the background and directed Lori to a place she could stand. Seeing as Bucky hadn´t turned the car off the headlights would work as their lightsource. “Okay, now hold up your hands as if you´re trying to catch the snow,” he insisted and held the phone up to snap a few pictures, from which Lori could choose her favorite.
Lori rushed back to the car and got in blowing some warm air onto her hands. Sure, both her and Bucky could withstand colder temperatures for a longer time, but it was still uncomfortable to be in. “Okay, let´s get drinks and then go home. This is enough nature for me today,” Lori laughed and turned the seat heat on for them both.
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seyaryminamoto · 4 years
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hii, can you tell me more about why you’re anti sukka?
... Okay, now, that’s an inaccurate statement.
As per current internet terminology, I’m not ANTI Sukka. These days, an anti is someone who obsesses with the ships they hate, and spends an insane amount of time harassing fans of the ship, attacking other shippers, making content to disparage the ship and pretending they’re on some sort of superior moral high ground by doing all these things. While I’ve made occasional posts on why I don’t ship Sukka, I don’t think I’ve made any since AGES ago. I don’t get in the way of anyone who does ship it and I wouldn’t even say I HATE the ship. In truth, I just don’t care for it. I won’t read or look for content about it, but that’s not the same as hating a ship, let alone the same as harrassing its shippers: so I’m not anti-Sukka, I just don’t ship Sukka.
Now, since your question’s intent was to figure out why don’t I ship it...
... Warning: long, long essay that won’t sit well with any hardcore Sukka shippers right under the cut. I would be using a truncated term like su*ka throughout the whole post if only the anon hadn’t already used the actual ship name, but regrettably, it’s likely to show up in your tags all the same. I am sorry, preemptively, if it does: please ignore it for your own good and go on your merry way without letting me ruin your day.
I haven’t talked about this for ages tbh. But anyways, here we go.
When I watched The Warriors of Kyoshi for the first time, I actually liked Suki plenty. I liked her initial conflict and chemistry with Sokka, though I wasn’t big on how she made him wear the Kyoshi Warriors uniform when it clearly made him uncomfortable, but all in all, I liked how their relationship had shaped up at that point and I even looked forward to Suki returning in future episodes.
On my first watch of ATLA, I seriously saw nothing wrong in Sukka. I didn’t think a lot of things through during that first time I watched the show, I was just binging the whole thing like a maniac (like a lot of people are doing at the time), so I found their relationship perfectly acceptable as it was, for the show I was watching.
And then later rewatches, even before the Sokkla bug bit me as hard as it has, I realized maybe that wasn’t entirely true.
One of the things I really, REALLY don’t like about Sukka to this day is how unequal their relationship is in terms of how the characters are written in the show. Basically, the same complaint I have about Asami in LOK applies to Suki ever since she reappears in Book 2, but ESPECIALLY in Book 3: her character ends up revolving almost exclusively around Sokka.
Meanwhile, Sokka appears to forget about her surprisingly often and easily.
Instance #1: there’s no sign of Sokka holding a torch for Suki when he first develops a crush on Yue. Implying that, while Suki impressed him, his feelings for her weren’t necessarily romantic despite she outright kissed his cheek... whereas he is crushing, HARD, on Yue. In contrast, Suki was so affected by Team Avatar’s visit to her island that she took off to help people around the world to follow their example. Sokka (and his friends) have a huge impact on Suki’s life... whereas Suki’s impact, sure, taught Sokka to set aside his sexism, but he’s never even seen reflecting on how much Suki has changed him because of this? Neither is Katara portrayed mentioning how much nicer he became after meeting Suki? There’s not a single sign through the rest of the season of how much Suki has meant for Sokka, whether as a teacher, friend or potential love interest.
Instance #2: after initially hesitating to kiss Suki in the Serpent’s Pass, Sokka finally kisses her once they’re about to part ways before she returns to the Kyoshi Warriors. It’s soooo very romantic... until, a mere episode later, Ty Lee openly flirts with Sokka and, instead of reacting as he does later in the season (with a comment along the lines of ”Uh, I’m with someone else”), Sokka merely WAVES AND SMILES. I... don’t even understand why the writers did this. They spent the entire season featuring Sokka avoiding Ty Lee, or being fully hostile with her, but somehow RIGHT AFTER establishing his relationship with Suki, he’s shown behaving like this? It doesn’t make any sense to me. It basically says either he’s not taking his relationship with Suki all that seriously, or he’s just blatantly disloyal, and considering how devoted he was to Yue, I can’t bring myself to believe it’s the second thing. A writing oversight? Eh...
Instance #3: when Toph talks about the moon turning mean, Sokka rages and rants about how nice the moon is. Why do I bring this up? Because Yue is out of reach. Yue is gone: he still feels the need to defend her from someone who isn’t really insulting her despite that. MEANWHILE... Suki’s fate, at the time, is unknown. Sokka has no idea if Azula captured her, left her for dead, tossed her in a river, sold her to a traveling circus...? He doesn’t. He seriously doesn’t. He can’t KNOW what Azula did because the last thing he knew, Mai and Ty Lee were masquerading as Kyoshi Warriors. Implying them, and their leader, did something to the group his girlfriend was part of. And yet, for an entire season finale AND the first half of Book 3, Sokka betrays zero intentions of wanting to discover what happened with Suki, or guilt about not being able to save her UNTIL AZULA BRINGS HER UP. I know it’s very sad for Sukka fans to see Sokka crying over Suki as he did when Azula taunts him... but why haven’t we seen the slightest sign of how affected he is by Suki’s presumed capture/murder/whatever he was imagining happening to her, when Book 2 features Sokka suffering over failing Yue in the Swamp, as well as rejecting Suki initially over guilt because of his lingering feelings for Yue, paired with fear of failing to protect those he cares about? And then in Book 3 he’s even standing up to Toph when she makes a careless comment about the moon spirit...? Why is it so easy to bring up Yue, but not Suki? Is this really just another writing oversight? So we’ve had TWO writing oversights about this relationship already, both of which suggest Suki is barely on Sokka’s mind at all? Is this oversight... or accidental characterization? :’)
Instance #4: Sokka and Zuko travel to the Boiling Rock. Sokka is determined to save his father. It’s a really cool, absolutely acceptable, very important decision for his character... but here’s the kicker: Sokka knows now, at this point, that Suki might still be alive and a prisoner of the Fire Nation. Azula outright said Suki had been WAITING FOR HIM AND GAVE UP BECAUSE HE NEVER CAME. This is what drives him to tears and to shout at Azula while wasting time during the Eclipse! :’D And then? Then he goes to Zuko, to ask him about Fire Nation prisons, and my gullible, first-watch self thought “oh, he wants to save Suki now that Azula said she’s alive! :D” ... only for his intent to be exclusively about his father. I’m not saying it’s WRONG for Sokka to privilege Hakoda over Suki, I mean, he is his father and Sokka really cares about family. It’s one of his main priorities, always has been. But isn’t it WEIRD that after Azula taunted him SO BAD about failing Suki, after saying Suki GAVE UP ON HIM, Sokka makes zero moves to find out if she might be alive and within reach? He could ask Zuko about her, maybe, seeing as he was on Azula’s side in Ba Sing Se and may have known a thing or two about any prisoners she captured in the Earth Kingdom? Sokka could have mentioned he wants to save BOTH Hakoda and Suki, and it doesn’t harm the story in the least for him to say something like that. It doesn’t make his efforts for Hakoda any lesser, and it shows Suki is a priority for him too... But no. Instead let’s feature him bumping into Suki by sheer luck, because that’s truly what it was, and instead of feeling any guilt for not helping her sooner, he’s just lovestruck and attempting to put moves on her when she doesn’t even know who he is yet. Super funny. Super romantic. Super lacking and I can’t understand why, WHY, someone would ever think this is how to write a quality romantic relationship?
Instance #5: connected to instance #4, actually. When traveling to the Boiling Rock, Sokka and Zuko have an awkward conversation. During this awkward conversation, Sokka asks Zuko if there was anything he left behind in the Fire Nation that he might have missed. Zuko smiles and talks about Mai. Sokka is surprised that the “gloomy girl who sighs a lot” was his girlfriend, and Zuko looks genuinely fond of her as he smiles and thinks of her. And then Sokka brings up his own romantic experience... WITH YUE. Instead of bringing up the girl who taught him girls can fight too, instead of bringing up the girl he hasn’t been able to save yet, the girl who MIGHT BE in the prison he’s headed towards, Sokka brings up the girl he absolutely CAN’T save anymore. He brings up the girl whose death most clearly scarred him, deeply, and I’m not trying to lessen the blow Yue’s sacrifice takes on Sokka... but Suki literally, LITERALLY, has something to do with the plot of this very episode? While “My girlfriend turned into the moon” “That’s rough, buddy” is a well-loved hilarious scene and line, I’d have sacrificed that IN A HEARTBEAT if the writers had thought to feature Sokka talking about Suki instead. He could’ve said Azula took her! He literally KNOWS this now, for a fact! Zuko could’ve told him “Hey, maybe she’s in the Boiling Rock too!”, and the plot of the episode wouldn’t have changed in the slightest, beyond featuring Sokka actively looking for BOTH Hakoda and Suki! But no. Again, no. Again, the writers choose to privilege Sokka’s bond with Yue over Suki. With Hakoda over Suki. With anyone else over Suki.
... whlie Suki, most obviously, has no one else she cares about more than Sokka. Why? Because she hasn’t even had enough screentime to establish any other significant relationships, and after the Boiling Rock, she doesn’t establish them anyways.
This causes Suki to feel like a Sokka satellite: SHE revolves around HIM. But Sokka? Sokka doesn’t revolve around Suki IN THE LEAST. Would it be healthy for him to be completely devoted and crazy over Suki to the point of disregarding his ties with other people over her? Hell, no! But it’s not healthy to feature Suki as good as doing that for Sokka either! :’D Suki doesn’t even have a solid, established friendship with any of the other Gaang members. She has POTENTIAL for it, but ever since she joins the Gaang she is most frequently shown interacting with Sokka and only on occasion with the others, but in no memorable, meaningful way with anyone but Sokka. She even joins Katara while searching for Aang in Sozin’s Comet, and we don’t see the slightest sign of unique, important bonding  between them. She saved Toph from drowning once, found out Toph has a crush on the same boy she likes, and it’d have been interesting if she, for instance, had refrained from seeking an openly romantic relationship with Sokka out of respect for Toph’s feelings? They could’ve had a conversation about it? With Toph telling her to go for it, maybe, because Sokka liked her too? Suki saying she doesn’t want to hurt her? A perfectly nice bonding situation for these two girls, showing quite a lot of respect between them, as well as respect for their personal relationships with Sokka?
But no. That doesn’t happen. 
The second important character Suki bonds most with is Zuko, and in the show, it’s exclusively because they’re with Sokka in the Boiling Rock. Once that’s over you can’t really say there’s any relevant, personal dynamics between them in the show. Heck, Suki tells him she wants a rematch with Azula in the Boiling Rock: Zuko could have offered her a chance to come with him to the Fire Nation and get that rematch, instead of offering it to Katara :’D Why doesn’t he? Because they DID take their time to establish a relationship between Zuko and Katara, even derrailing the show for a whole episode to ensure they would convince Katara to forgive Zuko for all the wrong he did, in the most absurd and contradictory situation possible. Meanwhile, a simple “sorry” from Zuko is enough for Suki to stop holding a grudge. You absolutely CAN interpret this as Suki not being the type to hold a grudge! Which, great! But you also CAN interpret this as the writers being way too lazy to give Suki as much time to forgive Zuko as she could have/should have needed. And sadly, while story-wise I’ll choose to read it the first way, I think, realistically, what happened was the second thing instead.
Suki doesn’t even have a meaningful relationship with Aang. AANG. I’m not saying she should have been his best friend, but Oyaji outright says “you kids had a big impact on her”. It’s PLURAL. It’s not supposed to mean “Sokka had a big impact on her”. Hell, Aang is Kyoshi’s PAST LIFE. Kyoshi is, in all likelihood, Suki’s hero! :’D And yet... nothing. Not even featuring Suki as a Kyoshi fangirl who knows all sorts of random facts about her, such as her favorite foods or the habits she enjoyed most, and Aang saying “oh hey, I like doing that too!”, so that they both could rejoice in this unique, curious shared common ground!
Nay. Nothing. Literally nothing. Her only serious, meaningful relationship is with Sokka... and like I said, whenever Sokka is asked about meaningful relationships with girls, his brain goes “Yue”, immediately, even when the plot would benefit from him saying “Suki” at least ONCE. He’ll sit out at night watching the moon, but he can’t be bothered to bring up how frustrating it is for Azula to have captured Suki whether before or after the Invasion. Yes, Sokka is shown to be the kind of guy who grieves quietly: why is it so much easier, then, to see his quiet grieving for Yue than his concern for Suki?
The truth is, it’s a writing shortcoming. It’s not even something I’d blame on Sokka’s character because, as I always have said, his relationship with Yue really highlights what a wonderful boyfriend he can be when he’s seriously interested in someone. He takes Yue out on dates, gives her gifts, fights for her people, fights the fiancé who only objectifies her, tries to protect her from fulfilling a destiny that will kill her? This is all top-tier romance hero behavior. It is. Why the hell isn’t this behavior seen with Suki too?
It’s not a matter of Suki being a warrior rather than a Princess so she doesn’t need him to act the same way he did with Yue: the show outright, literally, explicitly states Suki is a girl and a warrior, implying Sokka could easily enough woo her the same way he does with Yue, if he cared to. But he doesn’t. It’s Suki with the initiative when their actual romantic relationship begins, and later on Sokka can forget Suki is his girlfriend whenever it suits his fancy, to absolutely no consequences.
So... does this mean, then, that Sokka, in canon, only tries really hard when he’s chasing after someone he can’t be with? That he slacks off and drops the ball when the girl is already his? Well, that’s... not good. Not healthy. Not pretty.
This doesn’t mean that there’s nothing good about Sukka altogether, there are a few things about the ship that aren’t bad... but even then, scenes like “Sokka makes a gross sand sculpture and says it’s Suki” aren’t really that heartwarming to me. It’s not only a comedic relief scene that tries to feature these two as super romantic dorks... but it only reinforces one of the main shortcomings in this relationship for me:
Sokka doesn’t even have to TRY.
He doesn’t. He can make a gross-looking statue, say it’s Suki, and she won’t even make suggestions to improve it? She just says it’s perfect this way. It’s basically the kind of coddling Ursa did with Zuko when Zuko messed up in his firebending display and Ursa said it was wonderful. In the case of a couple, it feels like a mix of cute and condescending? Suki accepts Sokka as he is, sure, so she doesn’t challenge him, doesn’t try to make him do better, he doesn’t need to improve his work... because she’s fine with whatever she gets from him. 
This is complacency. It’s a relationship neither one needs to make efforts for. Suki will always accept Sokka’s occasional romantic gestures, even if he leaves so much to be desired in his relationship with her, as opposed to his relationship with Yue. And I’m not saying Sokka DOESN’T care about Suki, but he doesn’t need to do better with her, and while that’s just what Sokka may think he wants/needs for the future, in truth, that’s not what makes his character thrive.
What makes Sokka’s character grow amazingly is CHALLENGE. And I don’t mean that he needs a girlfriend difficult to be with and out of reach (like Yue): I mean that, when faced with a love interest who keeps him on his toes and makes him continue pushing his boundaries, Sokka would genuinely develop and grow further as a man, warrior, leader and love interest. Look at how fast he develops into a quality swordsman while training with Piandao: why? Because it was a challenge. Because it was an opportunity to hone his skills. Because he had to rise up to prove himself, and HE DOES. In the Invasion? He feels he can’t measure up to Hakoda, but in the end? He winds up LEADING the whole operation. People FLOCK to him as he draws out the battle plans and strategies they’ll follow so they can figure out where Ozai is and take him out before the eclipse ends. Right after thinking he couldn’t do it, when the situation DEMANDED that he stepped up, he did and he goddamn EXCELLED at it, proving himself well above these challenges indeed.
THESE are the moments where his character shines the brightest. And a relationship that wasn’t so complacent would do this kind of thing for Sokka’s character just as well: a challenging relationship would promote his GROWTH. He wouldn’t be stunted in simplicity with someone who doesn’t give up on him when he spends MONTHS disregarding her circumstances. Because the truth is, I see Sokka as an overachiever in denial: he wants to go the extra mile, to do things no one else has done before, but because he’s stuck in a world where he doesn’t have the crazy powers his friends do, he wrongfully assumes they’re the ones who’ll do amazing things and he’ll just lag behind them, so he figures it’s better not to bother trying to stand out at all. Yet look at him, figuring out the perfect plan to take down Ozai’s fleet: look at him, making such an impression on Piandao, epic swordmaster, that Piandao even says “If you stay on this path, I know that one day you will become an even greater master than I am.”
Sokka has incredible, extraordinary potential as a character. He has huuuuge anxieties and sources of anguish and insecurities, and those only make his potential greater. He has flaws that can be worked on, there’s so much room for growth...
And the true reason I can’t support Sukka, on Sokka’s end, is because I don’t think that relationship will encourage him to grow any further.
Meanwhile, I can’t support it on Suki’s end because I don’t think she deserves to be an afterthought for a boyfriend who has so much going on in his life that she’s a secondary or even tertiary thing in his life unless she’s right in front of him. And even when he doesn’t have that much going on (meaning, during the first FOUR comic trilogies), he’s shown traveling the world with his friends instead of spending time with her. And heck, where Suki SHOULD have arrived in the South Pole with Zuko as his guard during North and South, Suki doesn’t show up at all. Why? Seriously, what sort of logic explains that the Fire Lord’s appointed BODYGUARD would stay behind in the Fire Nation while Zuko travels halfway across the world, with hell knows how many dangers ahead? If she HAD gone with Zuko, she would’ve had a chance to spend more time with Sokka and it’d even be a point in Sukka’s favor. But that doesn’t happen. To make matters even worse, Sokka doesn’t even tell Aang to say hi to Suki for him when Aang leaves to the Fire Nation by himself in Smoke and Shadow? There are TWO WHOLE PANELS as Aang takes off on Appa with NO DIALOGUE. Sokka calling after Aang to ask him to say hi to Suki literally would’ve fit PERFECTLY, right there! But no. Suki doesn’t even get that much from her boyfriend.
Seriously, it’s NOT THAT HARD to show a healthy long-distance relationship. It’s not that difficult to feature Suki and Sokka longing to see each other but having too much going on to meet up. But that’s not what we got with Sukka, not in the comics, not in the show. Fans ARE free to believe otherwise, and I’m not going to trample on someone who thinks we just conveniently never get to see the healthiest aspects of their very positive relationship... but there’s no genuine evidence to back up this belief. It’s just wishful thinking and hoping that things are far better behind the scenes than what we’re genuinely shown.
Again... I blame the writing. Especially seeing as Yang’s writing of Sokka is DISMAL. But it doesn’t erase what’s already there. It doesn’t do away with the very obvious problems in this relationship.
The positive moments Sukka gets are offset, for me, by all the negatives. The meaningful relationship they could have developed feels underdeveloped instead, something we should take for granted is there and nothing more. And even those positive moments and episodes aren’t necessarily that positive?
In particular, I point to The Ember Island Players: there are soooooo many messed up things about Sukka in this episode I have no idea how people aren’t more bothered by them. First of all: the episode features Sokka crying about Yue’s staged death scene, and Suki is shown amused, saying she had no idea Sokka had made out with the moon spirit. First of all: SOKKA DIDN’T TELL SUKI ABOUT YUE. Her initial reaction here is amusement, for some reason...? Yet as we already saw that there’s no real bad blood between her and Toph despite she, of all people, KNOWS Toph has a crush on the same guy she likes, there’s no real reason to think Suki would behave like a jealous fiend if she knew Sokka had a relationship with someone else before her. Yet Sokka doesn’t tell her about it: this implies he either doesn’t trust her, or doesn’t know her well enough to realize she WON’T be a jealous fiend, and outright assumes she will be one because of mistaken preconceptions about how relationships work.
At this point, Sokka and Suki have been officially together since Book 2, episode 12. Book 2 happens in spring. Book 3′s conclusion is at the end of summer. This means Sokka has had about four-five months of a relationship with Suki. Out of which, yes, she spent the majority of those months in prison :’D but then he rescued her! And... apparently proceeded not to tell her about his experiences while fighting in the war? To not share his biggest failure to protect someone he cared about? So... to NOT open up to Suki about anything that genuinely mattered?
Considering he’s willing to snap at Toph when she brings up the moon could be “mean”, considering he’s willing to tell Zuko that his first girlfriend turned into the moon when they’re only starting to trust each other... this unwillingness to tell Suki about Yue feels OFF. It doesn’t make any sense. His relationship with Yue was far from something to be ashamed of. It meant A LOT to him. Why the heck hide it from Suki, when all the reasons sound either condescending or distrustful as hell?
Ah. Because the writers thought this scene would be funny, that’s why.
And the funny scene gets even BETTER when Sokka shushes Suki and proceeds to cry about Yue’s death: he’s shutting her out. And hey... Suki doesn’t like this. She turns her face around and looks pretty irritated, whether by being shushed or by his unwillingness to share his past with her or BOTH THINGS...
... And then the show doesn’t acknowledge this OBVIOUS, SIZABLE, IMPORTANT shortcoming of their relationship ever again.
We’re supposed to assume Sokka explained everything later just because? Hell, he looks like he has absolutely no intentions of doing that. If you ask me, it even could feel like he thinks his relationship with Yue is none of Suki’s business? And that’s not pretty. That’s not good romance writing, no matter how you look at it.
This, of course, is not everything: there’s another two unpleasant situations in this episode alone! :’D
The second one is a slightly smaller one, but bears mentioning all the same: Aang is annoyed when the play makes a mockery of Zutara, so he gets up and leaves: Sokka tells him to bring him snacks. After his initial request, Sokka wraps an arm around Suki and they’re shown surprisingly cuddly now, DESPITE their previous impasse. At first, Suki smiles fondly at him. But then he turns around and asks Aang for more snacks. And then Suki outright looks ANNOYED, while Sokka looks like he doesn’t give a single crap.
This, I feel, ties in with what I mentioned earlier about how Sokka doesn’t even have to try with Suki: Suki isn’t merely a happy girl who thinks Sokka can do no wrong. She CAN be annoyed by him and his behavior, but for some reason, she chooses not to bring up her grievances with how he’s acting, even if it doesn’t sit well with her?
So while there’s supposed to be something so very cute with the monster blob sand statue, her approval doesn’t feel genuine to me. I simply can’t see it as genuine. Because when you feature Suki smiling in that strangely motherly way, saying the statue is “sweet” (instead of, I don’t know, saying she actually sees the artistic merit of it (if she did) or saying he just needs to put in a bit more work), she’s focusing exclusively on making SOKKA feel better about himself. And when Suki is annoyed? He doesn’t have to show remotely the same amount of consideration or compassion she displays for him. Why? Because she sweeps her feelings under the rug and lets him get away with everything he does, even things she’s not happy about. She lets him get away with keeping important secrets, lets him get away with annoying her in the middle of the play, AND...
... lets him get away with rubbing in Suki’s face that Azula kicked her ass :’)
Look, I’m not even being my biased shipper self here. The third unpleasant thing in Ember Island Players is that Suki decides to point out that Team Avatar keeps getting out of deadly pinches by sheer luck and that they lose a lot! She doesn’t say this with concern: she looks sardonic, like she’s legit mocking them. It’d feel completely out of place if she hadn’t been annoyed by Sokka earlier, so it feels (to me) like she’s just taunting him because she’s already not in the best of moods and expects to feel better by making fun of him. Not a terrible crime, but a rather strange one to commit too, considering she’s making fun of her boyfriend damn near dying all the time. You’d think, maybe, that kind of possibility should worry her a little more...?
... But then Sokka retaliates with: “You're one to talk, Suki. Didn't Azula take you captive? That's right, she did!”
Isn’t it goddamn WEIRD that Sokka would bring up what, according to a large amount of Suki’s fanbase, must have been a terribly scarring experience for Suki... just to win an argument with her? Just to piss her off because she’s making fun of him? They’re BOTH shown being remarkably inconsiderate towards each other and the struggles they faced in their respective journeys in this scene. It’s supposed to be lighthearted bickering, but the subject they’re choosing to talk about isn’t lighthearted AT ALL.
According to some Suki fans, Suki could have even been tortured, tormented in thousand ways, by Azula when she took her prisoner. There were whole posts going around about how heartwarming it was for Suki to still be waiting for Sokka, no matter what...!
And THIS is how Sokka reacted to Suki’s patient waiting for him? THIS? By telling her “lol loser Azula caught you anyhow so your argument’s invalid”? If Suki HAD gone through some serious torture, beyond getting stripped off her uniform, how on earth would it be healthy for Sokka to use this allegedly mentally scarring experience AGAINST HIS GIRLFRIEND?
Now then, it WOULD BE fucked up, but the truth is, Suki wasn’t tortured at all, so the whole delusional, tragic “Suki is so emotionally strong because she believed in the man who would come save her even in the darkest of moments!” is honestly nonsense in the end: a girl who was tortured, tormented and anguished by the memories of whatever she experienced in Azula’s hands wouldn’t have retorted to Sokka’s comment with an irritated: “Are you trying to get on my bad side?”
Yet again, Suki is annoyed.
They’re both annoyed by each other’s arguments. 
But their discussion ENDS at this point, and goes forgotten, again. 
Suki isn’t even a quality bickering source for Sokka, because as soon as Sokka rebuffs with a counterargument she doesn’t like, she turns things personal and takes offense. Where he may not have taken her initial taunt as a particular, personal attack, she does interpret his words that way.
AND THEN THEY PROCEED TO FORGET ABOUT THEIR ARGUMENT AND ITS IMPLICATIONS, YET AGAIN :’)
Now then... is all this so terrible? Am I making too big a deal out of small things that shouldn’t be inspected so closely, especially as they were likely written with humorous intent and nothing more? It’s entirely possible!
You see, I don’t exactly love the way romance is handled in ATLA because it’s frankly always flawed and faulty beyond belief. People often have said one of the three canon relationships is better than the others, but at this point I disagree altogether: they’re all written to be flawed and have huge gaps of logic in the behavior of the characters involved. The girls are always shown as prioritizing the boy above everything else ever, and the boys are too often shown leaving them behind, forgetting about their love interests alarmingly frequently, being outright FORCED by the plot to let go of their attachment to them, whereas there’s no such conflicts or situations with the girls, in the least! Implying that it’s fine for girls to be completely devoted to a relationship, to the point where their whole LIVES revolve around the boy they like, but the boy shouldn’t behave the same way and must learn to leave the girl behind or put her aside instead?
... The implicit sexism in this consistent writing element in ALL THREE CANON RELATIONSHIPS is honestly pretty disturbing. I don’t think I need to say much more about it, do I?
Now though, I will, however, point out that it’s relatively good for canon NOT to show Kataang, Maiko or Sukka as perfect relationships because it IS realistic. It’s not pretty, but it is realistic. These characters are children or teenagers who quite often didn’t even have good role models of romance in their parents or peers, let alone even slightly decent childhoods, so for them to be 100% healthy in terms of romance would have been utterly absurd. Therefore, these kids would be expected to make mistakes and then learn from them so their relationships improve over time.
Sokka and Suki’s relationship is flawed, which only lends MORE believability to it, because the characters aren’t warped to fit the narrative, to play them as unmistakably perfect, ideal partners for each other. But those flaws do lend for problems like the ones I pointed out above...
And you see, the ultimate problem is that these characters DON’T learn from those mistakes. They don’t. Mai and Zuko are shown making the exact same blunders in the show and the comics, hell, sometimes even worse ones in the comics. Sokka and Suki still act like they’re totally in love ONLY when they happen to be in the same place and even then? Suki outright ignores Azula’s zapping attack at Sokka in The Search! SHE’S IN THE SAME COURTYARD! But it’s the THREE BENDERS who come to Sokka’s “rescue”, despite he doesn’t even NEED rescuing, since the attack was goddamn meaningless anyhow. 
The point is, however, that Suki is right there, damn it, taking care of APPA. And she’d sooner look after the sky bison that than check on her boyfriend, who was just “attacked” by her WORST ENEMY, WITH WHOM SHE WANTED A REMATCH???
Seriously. What logic is this. What kind of ROMANCE is this. It doesn’t make any sense to me, and if I were a Sukka fan I’d be beyond outraged by watching my favorite relationship written so carelessly.
So, because Yang’s writing isn’t even ALLOWED to move anything too far forward, because Bryke don’t want that, none of these relationships have developed in any interesting ways after the show. AT BEST you could say Kataang definitely act differently in the comics than they did in the show, for better or for worse, so you can say there’s some changes in their dynamics, though those changes aren’t necessarily related to genuine character growth. But Maiko? Same old story. Sukka? Same old story.
What exactly does Sukka do for Sokka at this point? He has someone to make out with whenever they cross paths? Yeah, okay, cool. And? That’s it? For that matter, he could be making out with anyone else just the same. What kind of room for growth does she offer him? Going by how she doesn’t even need him around her, by how she has never needed anything but mediocrity from him, I can’t say there’s anything to be found. Their relationship already dealt with its biggest possible hurdle WHEN THEY FIRST MET. That’s the main growth Suki offered Sokka, and now she can’t give him anything else because he’s way too efficient and learned everything she could teach him right away :’) Paired with this, Suki wasn’t developed enough as a character either, so if she has other regards in which she can teach Sokka a thing or two, we simply don’t know it, and the comics refuse to show it to us too, so up to date, Suki is severely underdeveloped by canon and will continue to be, as far as I can tell.
Which, of course, factors in the next question: what does Sukka do for Suki? Honestly, nothing. If this relationship did something interesting for her character, we’d have tons of things to say and discuss about her, but the truth is all Suki-related discussion tends to have nothing to do with Sokka (her past and growth as a Kyoshi Warrior, her future post-canon, whatever the heck happened to her by LOK’s time... I’ve never seen anyone genuinely pondering anything about her relationship with Sokka beyond “did they stay together or not?!?!”). Suki is at her best when she’s with the Kyoshi Warriors, because it’s the only element of her character that DOESN’T revolve around Sokka. Going by the plot of the Shells comic, she could go travel the world teaching girls self-defense, and kicking the asses of sexist dudes! It’s not really going to deepen her character, sadly, because that’s basically ALL we know about her since the start of the show, aside from her attachment to Sokka. And she doesn’t need Sokka to do this. She could do it by herself just the same.
Literally, just for the sake of giving Suki something else to do, not even for my personal OTP’s sake, I’d gladly see Suki breaking up with Sokka so she can damn explore who she is beyond this relationship? The Kyoshi Warriors serving in the Fire Nation Palace was probably the first interesting development for Suki in canon since she first met Sokka, and even then her role there was never explored fully, let alone was her potentially red-herring budding relationship with Zuko. 
But who am I kidding? :’) not gonna happen. For all I know, they got married in canon and had a perfectly happy life together. A perfectly happy, mediocre life, where neither one has to make the slightest effort for the other, in the least. Taking each other for granted, every step of the way!
*sigh* I can’t want this for Sokka, seriously. I can’t. I love his character a lot, but I absolutely hate how he’s written in this relationship. Most my understanding of how Sokka behaves in a relationship has come from how he behaves with Yue, precisely because, as brief as their relationship was, he seriously appeared to value her above so many other things, to fight for her, to do anything he could to help her without asking for anything in return. And that’s why I write him as I do.
Love can feel different when you experience it with different people, of course, and I’m not asking for Sokka to be written exactly the same in two different relationships... but the difference is just way too vast. I don’t question he cares about Suki, but I do question that he genuinely loves her. This is NOT how someone in love behaves. And frankly, Suki’s behavior isn’t that of a girl in genuine love either. She likes him plenty, is impressed by the things he and his friends have achieved, but is it genuine love? How can it be, when they apparently can’t even trust each other about their personal experiences (Yue in Sokka’s case, spending months as a prisoner in Suki’s)? When his behavior rubs her the wrong way and annoys her when they’re at their most casual? When the bickering he’d likely enjoy having with a significant other just falters after two exchanges with Suki because she takes offense to what he said? 
In conclusion:
Writing: the writing of this relationship is frankly really, REALLY flawed, far more than most fans are willing to acknowledge (whether fans of the ship or of the show in general). They try to make jokes with this relationship, but these jokes end up highlighting serious flaws in this relationship that are never addressed. Also, their relationship is hardly ever treated as something majorly important for Sokka, who constantly privileges his bond with Yue over Suki, which is radically contrasted with Suki, who has no meaningful relationships in the show beyond Sokka. As I pointed out earlier, the writing proposes the boy doesn’t need to revolve around the girl, but the girl DOES revolve around the boy? Absolutely appalling.
Dynamics: beyond their exchanges on their very first episode, their dynamics don’t offer anything unique to their characters. You can replace Suki with any other female character, and Sokka’s struggle to let go of Yue and accept a new love interest in his life wouldn’t change in any considerable way. It didn’t HAVE to be Suki, let alone a Suki whose original personality (sassy, demanding, proud to the point of bordering on arrogant, prone to making mistakes because of this flaw...) was completely hijacked by a new one (perfectly nice, friendly, reasonable, considerate, flirty, not demanding in the least, virtually flawless...). There’s not much Sokka can teach the Book 2-onwards Suki, or much else Suki can teach Sokka. There’s not much they can learn together either, because the writing never offers them new challenges they haven’t handled before. Their dynamics exclusively hinge on Suki being reliable in action situations, weak humor centered around Sokka being a mediocre boyfriend, and making out. That’s all their relationship provides, and frankly, they BOTH can do better than that.
Potential: I don’t think Sukka has much more potential beyond what we already have seen. Their natural chemistry isn’t anything out of this world, it’s FINE, but it’s not exactly something extraordinary that can’t be found anywhere else. And that’s really at the crux of why I don’t ship it or find much enjoyment in it: neither Sokka nor Suki appear to be at their best in this relationship. Suki is outright worse off by this relationship because she went from feminist poster child to a girl who REVOLVES AROUND A BOY. Please, let’s let that sink in? There are better possible relationships for them, relationships that absolutely could explore aspects of BOTH characters that have gone underdeveloped and overshadowed in canon, just for the sake of weak humor and make-out sessions.
*sigh*
Fact is, most the problems with Sukka are a matter of poor writing. With better writing, the relationship could be good, and would be easier to take seriously. But even then? I wouldn’t ever expect this relationship to outshine other possible ships for both Sokka and Suki. If you feature another girl as Sokka’s big, rude “girls are fighters too” awakening... what’s left for Sukka? Speaking from experience, seeing as I outright wrote that: without this factor, their relationship wouldn’t be anything particularly noteworthy. Sokka would respect Suki right off the bat, sure, maybe surprise her a bit because of how unpredictable and unexpected he can be, but there’d be no genuine reason for them to seriously develop feelings for each other. That their entire bond hinges on their first encounter, rather than the growth of their relationship across time, is far from appealing for me in a relationship. I absolutely need more than that to ship something.
I’ve already brought up most these arguments in the past, as well as others I probably forgot to mention, but I can give you one more post to look at (if you want it), specifically about how a certain ship can be a vast improvement for Sokka over Sukka :’D This, I’d hope, will clarify what I mean when I say other ships can offer Sokka far more than Sukka does. I didn’t dig into it here, since I tried to focus exclusively on why I won’t ship this, but that might help expand your understanding of my reasons not to support it. And then there’s also the ship I support for Suki... here are my arguments on that topic too. Admittedly, I was more centered on Zuko in this second post, but I basically already gave you all the arguments why Suki in Sukka doesn’t work for me :’D and there’s a few arguments in there about why Zuko would be a far more interesting love interest for Suki than Sokka has been so far, too. So... that’s that. I hope I gave you plenty to think about :’D
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ks-caster · 4 years
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The 100 Season 7 Episode 4 - Post-Liveblog Recap
Okay, so I liveblogged an episode for the first time - and it turned out to be a nice way to stay focused through the commercial breaks. Might continue to do that for the rest of the season.
But TBH I started doing it just so I could bitch about the CLEAR AND BLATANT LACK OF A SCENE WHERE SANCTUM!KRU REALIZE THAT BELLAMY AND ANOMOLY!KRU ARE MISSING. That was an important scene that the whole fandom, more or less, has been waiting for the entire time for various reasons. 
How do the characters react? Who figures out that something’s wrong first? Does Clarke sense Bellamy’s absence because they have a bond? Does Emori go looking for her space sister to comfort her other space sister only to find her missing? 
(Actually, she does. That’s my headcanon and I’m sticking to it. Might fic later. Accounts for Emori’s complete absence while her bestie Raven is falling apart.)
Edit: here's the fic!
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Anyway, back to the episode - whoever was in charge of editing really really dropped the ball. Missing realization scene, poorly ordered Raven and Clarke scenes. The music during the Dev-and-Hope montage was a nice touch but just too loud enough that I really had trouble telling what they were saying - and the pacing would have felt better with just one show of teenage!Hope before we got 20-year-old her. The cut from Orlando agreeing to train Anomaly!Kru to 5 years later was WAY too abrupt for me to get a feel for the character and relationship development that they were trying to shoehorn in in order to create conflict at the end. I got where they were going with everything, but in a I’m-reading-a-newbie-writer’s-fanfic-because-I-love-the-story-concept-and-want-to-support-them kind of way and not in a I’m-watching-a-show-made-by-experienced-professionals-and-paying-for-the-privilege-in-ad-revenue kind of way. Disappointing.
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Jumping around here for a bit: I gotta say I’m loving the makeovers this season! Hair and makeup did a great job on bringing back the old Raven without losing the maturity they gave her, giving Murphy and Emori their Gucci Royalty Vibes without losing the feel of their individual styles, and making Hope look like she can’t find quite the balance between feral forest girl and innocent shut-in who can’t bear to take a life (which is accurate to her character, of course). 
And Echo! So I really, really didn’t like her makeovers in seasons 5 and especially 6, because it felt like they were trying too hard to make her look pretty in a 21st Century kind of way. She looked softer, more vulnerable, which really contradicted her character traits - but I thought that might’ve been on purpose, to show a change in her (that she did indeed allow herself to become softer and more vulnerable for her family). And her post-time-skip (not that one. Or that one. The other one. There’s a lot of those. Bah.) look feels like a return to herself; she’s beautiful but in a no-nonsense, don’t-forget-I-can-cut-your-throat kind of way. (Is this because I just really love the butch look on woman and am myself a butch woman? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.)
Side note: Where the hell did they get clippers on Penance? Those haircuts were entirely too even to have been done with scissors. I’ll buy that Gabriel and Orlando shaved their heads and their perfect round cuts were growout, but Hope and Echo? Electric clippers. Like I said I like the looks, but guys, there’s no way.
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I liked that I got a better feel for Hope’s character this episode - she’s trying so hard to be like her mom and Aunty O and all the heroes they told her about when she was a child, but the truth is she’s been in one real battle, she froze, and her best and only friend died. And since her only role models were these incredibly strong people who didn’t give up, back down, hesitate, that wouldn’t be an easy thing for her to get over. (Given that Diyoza was pregnant with her for two entire seasons, I’d really like to have more time developing Hope’s character - or even the same amount of screen time but go easier on the timeskips, lol. She keeps having growth/maturity/life experience spurts so it’s hard to keep up with the development that we’re shown.
So, 5 (7? Wasn’t she 22? There’s still 2 years we missed right?) years after watching her friend die, and 5 (7?) years of blaming herself for freezing, she’s put into the same position, and she stabs some lady in the neck. Kid didn’t steal her coping mechanisms! All joking aside thought, the kid basically relived her trauma in real life - honestly her reaction was 100% valid.
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I’m sure I’m supposed to be upset by Echo’s choice to kill the remaining gold-head people. But I think the only reason that’s supposed to bother me is that she promised (ish - she was real explicitly clear that she’d do what was necessary to rescue Bellamy and them were the breaks) Orlando that she wouldn’t. I think I’m supposed to care about the fractured relationship between AnomalyKru and Orlando.
I don’t. I don’t know if it’s the super-fast timeskip (it was weird enough to see the changed dynamics in SpaceKru when I deeply knew all of the characters AND we got time to see the changes play out) or the fact that I didn’t really get to know Orlando in a way that made me super sympathetic to him (I’ll get to that in a minute) or if it’s just that he was smart enough to know he was being played from the start (see Navy SEAL mom didn’t teach you how to swim and Echo again being 100% clear that killing people might still happen) and walked right in anyway. Either way, his betrayal wasn’t enough of a motivator for me as an audience member to be bothered about how things ended between him and AnomalyKru. I kind of shrugged and moved on.
More on Orlando... So The 100 has had several plotlines that center around people doing dangerous, terrible and downright ridiculous things because of their religions; see the kidnapping and conclave of freaking children killing each other to become commander, Gaia’s whole character arc + starting a new religion around Octavia/WonKru betraying that religion to go back to their old one centering on Madi, WHO IS GODDAMN TWELVE, all of Sanctum and season 6, the Sanctum conflict here in season 7, and now this goddamn Bardo Disciple shite.
Now I’m not dishing on real life religion or religious people - I happen to have one of those myself - but the plot of some-people-take-their-religion-way-too-far-drink-the-koolaid-and-hurt-people-around-them has been done and done and done on this show. And now here we have Orlando, who was a high-ranking member of his religion, drank the koolaid, cast out, still a true believer and therefore dangerous because his perspective is fundamentally skewed. I don’t know anything about this religion but that it’s militarized (they can arrest people) and think that sentencing people to 10 years of madness-inducing Geneva Convention violations and then bringing them back to their families two days later is okay. I don’t really want to know anything else, because I’m worried that the show is going to work hard on making this religion scarier than the Sanctum one (needing to one-up themselves with the big bad, of course) which just keeps making the commander religion look humane in comparison. 
Which it wasn’t. But I digress.
So Orlando was kinda’ cool, but getting in too deep with a fundamentalist who was complicit in his own abuse by said religion (and so who knows what he thought was okay to do to other people) and then it ended badly.
Cue shocked Pikachu.
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Moving on. Clarke. Baby. After the harrowing experience of the radiation destroying the radio so you couldn’t say goodbye to your mom when you were supposed to go to space, then missing your time window and getting left behind on Earth, and the radio broke them too so you couldn’t even be sure your friends would leave in time until they blasted off, and then calling Bellamy every day when you knew he couldn’t hear you, and ALL OF THE FREAKING LAST SEASON WHERE YOU WERE POSSESSED AND WOULD HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING TO LET YOUR FRIENDS AND DAUGHTER KNOW BOTH THAT THAT WASN’T YOU AND THEN LATER THAT YOU WERE ALIVE and THEN your MOTHER getting possessed and you had to check to see if it was really her and it WASN’T. Clarke. 
After all that terrifying inability to communicate.
You leave Gaia behind to warn everyone of the danger. INSTEAD OF CALLING THEM ON A PIECE OF HANDY TECHNOLOGY OR TAKING A QUICK TRIP BACK YOURSELF. TO TELL YOUR DAUGHTER WHERE YOU WERE GOING. YOU DON’T THINK THAT MAYBE MAKING EXTRA SURE THAT EVERYTHING GETS COMMUNICATED CLEARLY AND IMMEDIATELY MIGHT BE A PRIORITY.
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And then Gaia gets kidnapped. Honestly, cool! Not ‘cause I’m rooting for Gaia to be hurt (I don’t care all that much about her tbh) but I LOVE Indra and I want her to have more screen time and development this season - and or the chance to cut people up with her sword - and kidnapping her daughter seems like a great way to facilitate that.
*Looks at list* Oh, right, Jordan. I forgot you were here. Honestly I can’t figure out what the fuck is going on with you, and since I’ve had a whole season of not connecting with you because the story was too busy focusing on external plot... I don’t see that changing any time soon buddy. Sorry.
Oh and that FrEaKiNg PrOmO! 
My garbage boy! My chaos gremlin! My excellent-at-impersonating-a-deity-even-if-it-goes-against-his-programming! What are they doing?! 
I’m torn between NO DON’T HURT HIM and YES HURT HIM BECAUSE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND BRAVERY BWAHAHAHA. At least I know there’ll be Murphy and hopefully Memori content in the next episode. That’s the good shit. It’s the only thing left about this show that still feels “pure,” not that I didn’t know what sort of darkness I was signing up for when I started but just because he and Emori are sort of the last light in the darkness, and it’s nice to get a break periodically.
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andrewmoocow · 4 years
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Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants chapter 4: The Deadpool and Peridot Show (originally posted on August 29, 2020)
AN: Welcome back to The Fantastic Mutants everyone. This is a very special chapter because here I have a co-writer, whether I like it or not.
Surprise everyone, it's me Deadpool! Since this kid refuses to get his writing done quickly, I've taken it upon myself to "help" him out since no one can understand me better than me. Now then, back to my cohost here.
Yes, Deadpool of all people has decided to help me. Though I'd rather do all of this myself without any distractions.
Kinda like how this author's note is distracting us from the actual main event! Now let's just get this rolling already!
--
We begin on a talk show set in a blank white space, inhabited solely by a drop-dead handsome mercenary dressed in a beautiful shade of red with hints of black that was currently tearing it apart for no good reason. You know him, you love him, it's the sexiest anti-hero to have ever graced this dying industry, Deadpool.
"Thank you, thank you all!" yours truly bowed for an unseen audience as he finished tearing the set apart. "Now if all y'all have been lying under a rock since like, I don't know, '91, I am known as Wade Winston Wilson. I was created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Niecieza for The New Mutants #98 in February 199-"
"Wade, I believe everyone knows who you are already." My white thinky-box, represented by a bold underline, cut me off. "You're already an Internet legend and of course, there's Ryan Reynolds."
"Can we just can the prologue already?" my yellow thinky-box, also represented by underlining but this time it was in italics. "There's gotta be people coming here solely for us who don't know what's going on."
"Okay wiseguys, you asked for it." the man who looked like a cross between Ryan Reynolds and a Shar-Pei underneath that creepily adorable mask replied. "So in case you guys are just joining us, this is a crossover with the modern classic with some of the most psycho fans in the Internet, Steven Universe." I explained. "Last chapter, our smol sunshine baby of a protagonist was kidnapped by the Master of Magnetism Magneto for some most likely evil science experiment by our favorite evil dictator with a superiority complex to compliment his tiny dick, Doctor Doom. In response, the Crystal Gems have decided that they need more hands on deck, and more characters than this story already needs."
"What does he want this to be, the DC Extended Universe?"
"I'd watch that mouth if I were you buddy." I called the dialogue box out. "Our author here has had experiences with those fans. If that Englishman can think he's free to call MCU fans Marvel Zombies, than he's free to have his own opinion. But someone that fanatical deserves to be called something similar, like a DCheep! Get it, because he's a sheep!"
"Can we please move on? This recap has already taken up two pages and I got real-life things to do." The author begged Wade.
"Okay, okay! Let's get this started already, keep your pants on!" the masked macho-man declared, marching off stage in an alluring fashion. "Cue scenery!"
--
Not too far from Westchester County, there was a shitty apartment where dwelled the hideously scarred human mutate, Wade Wilson. He was out like a light after the badass battle to the death he totally had last night, no joke. Not even a chimichanga could wake him up, and he didn't care that much for them. Yeah, no joke.
"Come on you sack 'a crap, wake up!" his blind, black, elderly roommate Blind Al groaned while fishing Wade out of bed with a snow shovel. "How much off-screen carnage puts you this much to sleep?"
"Enough for readers to get a glimpse of what I do in my spare time." Deadpool declared as he woke up, looking like he had a fantastic night's sleep. "Morning Al, off to do a crossover, see ya later!" he hurriedly greeted the old woman before leaving his room.
"Should I tell him he's not wearing pants?" Al muttered to herself. "Naw, he'll figure it out himself."
--
And figure it out he did. Immediately after that scene, Deadpool was wandering around the street fully clothed and ready to get this chapter over with.
"So, can we have our co-stars please show themselves?"
The author complied by dropping Connie, Peridot, Lapis Lazuli, Bismuth and Nephrite into the scene. "Wait, how did we get here?" Peridot wondered aloud. "And who are you?"
"Ooh, I get to hang with everyone's favorite character!" Deadpool cheered. "I've been writing up jokes about the fans I've been wanting to say for quite a while." He added to the readers while searching his hammerspace for cue cards. "Let me see, Molotov cocktail, big-ass cartoon bomb, reminder to sue Marvel & Capcom for leaving me out of Infinite, God knows how many machine guns."
"Uh, while you're looking for whatever it is you want, let me introduce myself." Connie introduced herself. "My name is Connie, pleased to meet you."
"Hey, can you put your cue-card search on hold and say hi to the kid?"
"Ah, here they are!" Deadpool declared as he fished a series of flashcards from seemingly his butt. "Been wanting to do this for ages." He said before clearing his throat, and he began to read off of them.
"Here are some complaints I have heard about Steven Universe. Complaint #1: literally no one can stay on-model because storyboarding is the devil. Complaint #2: Rebecca Sugar is a total butchphobic abuse supporter because she treats Jasper like crap and lets Lapis off the hook despite the fact that she's even worse."
"Please note that these are clearly not the opinions of the author. He's just been around Tumblr a lot and knows just how these so-called 'fans' think."
"Who said that?" Bismuth wondered aloud. "Oh hey, Bismuth!" Wade exclaimed as he just took notice of her. "That reminds me, Complaint #3: Making Bismuth an antagonist in any way, shape or form is racist because all minorities are pretty little angels than must be defended at all costs despite the facts that we're all human beings who have the potential to be complete balls to the wall sociopathic!"
"Okay, now you're just being used as a mouthpiece for the author. Hey buddy, can you stop him by introducing your version of the X-Force?!"
As a way to shut him up, the writer dropped the X-Force into the current scene on top of Deadpool. Their members, aside from Wilson, consisted of big names like Cable, Domino, Bob & Psylocke, to those who are only familiar to movie-watchers like Copycat, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Yukio, Bedlam & Shatterstar, and even Outlaw & Fantomex!
"How did we get here?" Cable asked the other black-ops mutants as he got up. "Oh hey Natey, knew you'd come along sooner or later!" Wade greeted his cybernetic compadre. "I was just getting myself introduced to these characters that we'll be paired up with for this crossover."
"Hi, I'm Bob, Wade's best friend!" the HYDRA agent Bob cheerfully introduced himself. "Name's Domino." Neena Thurman responded.
"A pleasure to meet you, dearest jeune fille bleue." Fantomex greeted Lapis in a gentlemanly fashion. "You may call me Fantomex. "
"Charmed." Lapis replied.
"Wow, everyone wants Lapis! First Fandral, and now Fanto."
"Can you blame her? She's the writer's fave and top SU waifu! Favoritism much?"
"Name's Negasonic Teenage Warhead." Ellie Phimster introduced herself. "This here is Yukio." She added gesturing to a Japanese girl with pink hair and a big smile. "Hi there!"
"I'm Wade's girlfriend Vanessa, though a lot of people call me Copycat since that's my power." Vanessa stated. "Yeah, totally original."
"Call me Bedlam." Bedlam stated. "And this here is Shatterstar. Unlike the rest of us, he's an alien from the Mojoverse."
"And finally, these are Outlaw and Psylocke." Shatterstar gestured to the cowgirl and the ninja in the one piece. "Nice to meet ya." Inez Temple greeted. "Indeed." Betsy Braddock added.
"So, what brings you to my neck of the woods?" Deadpool asked Connie. "Don't give too much away, cause I already got a basic knowledge of what happened last chapter."
"Chapter?" Connie tilted her head in confusion. "Steven was kidnapped only an hour ago! What do you think this is, some kind of story?"
"You'd be surprised Girl-Who-Wasn't-Actually-Dressed-As-Gohan-In-That-One-Episode." The Merc with a Mouth grinned underneath his mask. Before anyone could move on however, a stereotypical overweight nerd who looks like he doesn't get out much wheeled in on an automated scooter with a plate of brownies in front of him. "And you are?"
"I am simply an SU Critical that wants to congratulate you for making my voice heard." The nerd congratulated Deadpool. "As a way of saying thanks, have some brownies."
"I get it! Deadpool won some brownie points!"
"Don't explain the joke dumbass. The punchline should be coming up now."
As Wade snacked on the brownies, he came to realize something was wrong with them. "Hey wait a second. Yo, stereotype! Why do these brownies taste like literal dogshit?!"
"That's my secret ingredient!" the nerd revealed, much to Wade's disgust and he angrily tossed the brownies on the ground. "It's to symbolize how I believe Steven Universe has gone bad ever since the barn arc ended since absolutely nothing can compare to the amazing character development Peridot got!"
"Oh, it's so nice to see someone notice my splendidness!" Peridot blushed as she felt humbled by the nerd. "Of course, then they had to devolve her into a mindless comic relief who only-"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MINDLESS COMIC RELIEF YOU CLOD?!" the small Gem shrieked furiously before she pounced on the basement dweller and began choking him. "I'll teach you to talk back to me immediately after giving my praises you hypocrite!"
As Peridot continued assaulting the nerd, everyone else watched in either shock, bemusement or in Deadpool's case, pride. "I think I want to be her new bestest friend already."
"But I thought we were friends!" Bob weeped sadly while Bedlam gave him a comforting pat on the head.
--
"And now it's time for a cutaway gag!"
"Cutaway gags? You gotta be kidding me, we're not Family Guy!"
"Just let the writer do his thing man, it's his imagination!"
--
"Come on Willy, I know you can do it!" a child version of Deadpool called to a whale in a scene that is clearly a reference to a certain all-time classic "Boy and his non-human friend" story. However just as Willy finally leaped over the rock Wade was standing on, he was immediately harpooned in midair and dragged towards a pirate ship manned by Captain Ahab. "Hey, wrong whale story Habbo Hotel!"
"After so many years of searching, that accursed whale is now mine to profit off!" Ahab and his crew celebrated their capture. "I'm talking sequels and an animated series to start, but the sky's the limit!"
"This ain't the last you'll see of me Old Thunder!" Wade cursed the sea captain as he made off with his prize. "I'll bring that whale home, just you wait!"
--
"Okay, that's a pretty unique idea for a gag. But seriously, back to the show."
--
"So, we're here because Magneto has kidnapped Steven with a bunch of Sentinels." Connie recapped to Deadpool while they were out and about in the city. "Now that you know what we're doing, can you tell us what you do?"
"I'm glad you asked Connie." Deadpool declared. "Allow me to explain the only way you Steven Universe characters probably know how. IN SONG!"
"Wait, a musical number, in a fanfiction?! Seriously?!"
"Hey shut it, this is gonna be good!"
"Lights please." Wade announced, shutting off the lights with a snap of his fingers, and turning them back on with another snap. He was now dressed as an Elvis impersonator with Cable, Domino, Bob and Copycat as his band. "What song do you plan on playing?" Vanessa asked her boyfriend.
"Just watch and listen." Wade responded, and began playing a parody of a classic movie song. "Here I go!" he started singing while Cable provided backup on the drums. "Woo! Ah-ha, ah-ha, let me show you what I work with!"
"Well Gambit was in league with a bunch of thieves, Cyclops has almost two thousand tales!" For his first act of insanity, the Regenerating Degenerate made about fifty longboxes filled with comics appear for Peridot & Lapis to rifle through. As soon as they discovered one with Wade fighting a vampire bat creature on the cover titled "Deadpool: The Gauntlet," the Deadpool on the cover continued the song.
"Well my friends, you're in luck cause up your sleeves, you got a kind of guy that never fails!" After Deadpool emerged from the issue Peridot was holding, he shot down various villains emerging from the other comics while singing.
"You got a real badass in your corner now, a real Wolverine type in your camp!" he then demonstrated by transforming his face into that of Logan's and then back again before letting bullets rain from above. "He can shoot, kablam! Bullets galore, all you gotta do is say my name!" Wade crooned. "And I'll say: 'Miss Peridot and Lapis Lazuli, what will your pleasure be?'"
As he sat the Gems down on a beach blanket, Deadpool then assumed pirate attire and set a heavy treasure chest on the ground. "Just give me a guy and I'll shoot him down, you ain't had a mercenary like me!"
Peridot began to excitedly open the chest while Lapis rolled her eyes. "Life's like a treasure chest," Wade's disembodied voice continued. When the treasure box was opened, the mercenary exploded out of it and made gold fly everywhere. "AND I'M GONNA BE YOUR KEY!"
Unlike her smaller partner, Lapis was still not amused. "C'mon, whisper to me what you want," Wade kept crooning, followed by splitting himself into four smaller Deadpools. "You ain't had a mercenary like me!"
"Contractors pride ourselves on service." One of the mini-Wades stated, and then they merged into the prime Wilson while spawning a lavish couch for his two guests. "You girls the hoss, the queens, the Shah! No matter what you wish, I'll be your bitch! How 'bout a few chimichangas?"
"Have some of Sample A, try all of Sample B!" Following the chimichanga rain, Peridot and Lapis were handed free samples at a supermarket before they found themselves on a velvet pillow held by Wade. "Anytime, any day, I'll help you babes. You ain't had a mercenary like me!"
A brief dance number then ensued between Deadpool and his hands. His left hand vocalized and the degenerate replied with an "Oh my!" When the right hand started singing, it was responded with "No no!" Both hands harmonized and they got a "Ha ha ha!" They sandwiched Deadpool between them as he peaced out with a "Zip-a-dee doo-dah!"
When Deadpool returned, he pointed straight at Peridot. "Give me a good badda-yadda-yadda!"
"Badda-yadda-yadda!" Peridot excitedly repeated. "Good, scotty-wop!" Wade then pointed to Lapis. Her reply was more unsure. "Uh, scotty-wop?"
"Everybody now!" Deadpool compelled the readers. "Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"
"Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!" the readers answered excitedly.
"Yeah, y'all got it!" Wade congratulated before proceeding to demonstrate his healing factor. "Can your friends do this?" he asked, casually dislocating his arms. "Can your friends do that?" he added, ripping out his spinal cord to bounce on it like a certain stuffed tiger. "Can your friends pull this?" With that, Wade tore his skeleton out of his body and started dancing the Charleston with it. "Out a little hat?!"
Suddenly, Wade's skeleton started filling itself with dynamite sticks on the verge of exploding. "CAN YOUR FRIENDS GO-" The human mutate was interrupted as the TNT exploded, and the clouds gave way to him beatboxing while doing a silly dance.
"Call me the Merc with a Mouth, I am always there. North, West, East and South! So don't sit there slackjawed, all buggy-eyed! I'm here to answer all ya evening prayers!" he continued. "You got me bona-fide certified! A hired gun for your charge affair!"
"I got a powerful urge to help you out! So who's gonna die? I really need to know!" Deadpool said as the song began to reach its climax while pulling a long strip of paper from Peridot's mouth and began rubbing his bottom with it. "You got a list that's three miles long no doubt. So all you gotta do is pay-wayho!"
For the final setpiece, Peridot and Lapis now stood atop a mountain of dead Marvel characters that are so obscure, not even the most hardcore fans knew a thing about them. "Miss Peridot and Lapis Lazuli, what will your pleasure be?" Wade asked tunefully. Peridot then picked up one body, and its head suddenly turned into Deadpool's. "Anytime anyplace, I'll help you babes."
A few bodies rose from the dead, only for Deadpool to shoot them all down. "You ain't had a mercenary, never had a mercenary." He concluded. "You ain't had a mercenary, never had a mercenary."
Bullets once again began raining, along with all sorts of violent weapons as the song finally ended. "YOU AIN'T, HAD A, MERCE-NARY LIIIII-IIIIIKE MEEEEE!"
With the X-Force performing a kickline to finish things off, Deadpool pulled on a string dangling from above. "You ain't had a mercenary like me!" A flickering neon applause sign dropped down, capping off the rather pointless number.
--
"Well, that was a waste of time that'll never be spoken of again."
"Sincerest apologies to Alan Menken, Howard Ashman and especially Robin Williams. He would've been 69 this year. NICE!"
--
"Okay you generic-looking monster, time to discover who you truly are!" Connie declared to a captured Sasquatch while she, Peridot, Deadpool, Lapis and Cable were dressed as a certain band of meddling kids and their voracious canine pal. Connie ripped off the Sasquatch's head to reveal that it was a mask worn by an evil parrot with a scar across his face.
"Zoinks! Like, it's a parrot!" Deadpool declared in a beatnik voice. "Wait, a parrot? Is that all?"
"Far from it mein friends!" the parrot answered in a German accent. Suddenly, large robots kicked the walls around them down. "Behold, my Nazi robots!"
"N-Nazi robots?" Lapis stuttered. "Jeepers, this is just getting too weird."
Deadpool then glanced expectantly at Cable, who groaned while pushing up his glasses. "C'mon Cabey, say the line!" he exhorted the cyborg. With a heavy groan, Cable quietly said "Jinkies, run."
"He's right, let's split up gang!" Connie commanded, and the crew were off to the races. After passing by the same flowerpot approximately five times because there wasn't that much in the budget, the five came across a hallway littered with doors.
When Deadpool and Peridot burst into one door, they came out of another not too faraway, same with the others. However at the end of a door, they came across a blue digital ghost with yellow eyes & teeth and a grainy laugh.
"Ruh roh, rit's Rames Rarles the Rindly Rohnny!" Peridot exclaimed, making every word she spoke begin with R before she coughed. "How does anyone speak like this?" she asked Wade. "Because speech impediments are funny!" the mercenary replied. "Now let's move!"
"Seriously, why can't I be Fred?!" Cable complained while emerging from another door with Deadpool by his side instead of Lapis. "Connie gets the cool ascot, and all I'm left with is this bulky sweater and a short skirt!"
"Well for one, that skirt actually looks pretty cute on you." Wade answered with a stupidly cheeky grin on his face. Before anyone else could charge through more doors, zombie cats and dinosaurs that could move without thinking came charging in. "Wow, Scooby-Doo became a lot weirder than when I was a youngin."
--
Returning to the real world, the Crystal Temps and the X-Force have just plowed through an entire armed squadron inhabiting a conveniently abandoned office building and now had their leader tied up in a chair. "We ain't gonna let all those hallway fights amount to nothing!" Wade declared holding the squadron leader at gunpoint. "We've tried every torture technique in the book: eating your own food, threatening your family, doing a silly dance to some awesome music and yet still you won't talk!" he exclaimed. "So let me ask this again! What does the guy who gave Magneto & Doctor Doom those Sentinels look like?"
"What?" the gunman asked nervously, causing Wade to smash another wall. "WHAT COUNTRY ARE YOU FROM?!" the mercenary shrieked. "What?" the captive continued squeaking. "WHAT AIN'T NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF!" Deadpool yelled. "THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?!"
"What?" the man said a third time. "ENGLISH MOTHER-" Deadpool began, but then he noticed the T-rating and groaned. "ENGLISH YOU BASTARD, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!" he reiterated. "YES!" the gunman finally said something other than what. "THEN YOU MUST KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Deadpool kept yelling. "WHAT DOES YOUR MASTER LOOK LIKE?!"
"We could just beat the info outta him and be done with it." Bedlam advised. "No need for all this Pulp Fiction parody crap."
"Was I talking to you?" Wade asked his teammate tersely before going back to his captive. "Now where was I? Oh yeah! Does he look like a bitch?"
"Now you're just skipping lines!" the gunman squealed in defiance. "What else do you wanna do with me?!"
"Okay, I got another question for you." Wade stated. "Have you had your prostate exam lately?"
"What?" the gunman muttered, fearing what could come next. "In fact, I got just the girl to help me." Wade declared. "Hey Connie, your MILF of a mom is a doctor right? Surely you must know what I'm talking about!"
"Yeah, pretty much!" Connie answered. "Here, lend me your sword. We might need to operate." Deadpool said as he menacingly snapped on a pair of rubber gloves. "Hey author, why don't we cut to another scene before this gets too violent?"
--
"Now then, what are we working with he-There it is!"
"AUGH!"
--
Elsewhere, a stereotypical shadowy figure watched from a large video screen as the X-Force tore through his mercenaries. "That masked maniac is onto us!" he growled quietly while pounding his fist on an armrest and turned his chair to face Ruckus, Gorgeous George, Hairbag, Ramrod & Slab, the Nasty Boyz. "You five track him & those rainbow women down and kill them all!"
"Yes sir." The Nasty Boyz complied and set off for the Merc with a Mouth. "Now where do you suppose the merc could be now?" Hairbag asked his fellow Boyz. "My best guess, he's probably at that Hellhouse run by Patch." the Southern-accented Slab theorized. "Hopefully they have room for his head as a trophy."
--
"Well here we are at Saint Margaret's School for Wayward Children." Deadpool decreed as he suddenly parked a limo that he totally always had in front of the mercenary dispatch center he loved frequenting. "I suggest you try not to look at some of its inhabitants funny, some of them can get a little ballistic."
Entering the bar, the two teams had all eyes on them by all the other mercs at the establishment. "Uh, hello there." Connie nervously greeted one of them. "I don't think you're old enough to be here little girl." The mercenary replied ominously. "Don't worry Jessica, they're with me." Deadpool told the larger man. "So, where's Weasel?"
"Right here old buddy!" the bespectacled bartender called for Wade. "Hey, Weasel!" Wade exclaimed to his old friend while sitting down at the bar and exchanging a fistbump. "I see you're doing well Poolboy." Weasel said to his friend. "And who's the green midget with you?"
"This is Peridot, a member of the Crystal Gems." Shatterstar introduced Peridot. "Oh, you mean those rock ladies that creamed those Chitauri only to get creamed by Thanos?" Weasel asked, making Peridot pretty mad. "Hey, we creamed Thanos right back!"
"We're looking for information sir." Connie said to Weasel. "A friend of mine has been captured by Magneto & Doctor Doom using those Sentinel robots, and we want to know where they've come from."
"You want confidential info little girl?" the barkeep stated. "Go see Multiple Man over there at that poker table, he's usually the guy to talk to since he's a detective."
"Yet one mystery he can't solve is the mystery of why he can never get his own movie."
"ZING!"
At a nearby poker table, Jamie Madrox and some of his duplicates were playing cards with the albino mutant Caliban, and the four Jamies clearly had the upper hand. "All in!" one of the clones declared shoving his chips into the pot. "I know you are cheating Madrox." Caliban informed his opponent. "I mean, there are literally four of you!"
Just then, Deadpool abruptly shot one of the clones dead and sat down where he once was. "Deal me in." he simply declared as if nothing happened. "Caliban welcomes you Mr. Pool." Caliban nervously greeted the regenerating degenerate. "And who is your little friend?"
"You may call me Peridot, the suave, attractive and positively adorable leader of the Crystal Gems!" Peridot introduced herself arrogantly. "So, you more members of the X-Men? Haven't seen you around the mansion."
"Actually, we're members of a different team of mutants." Madrox replied, while his surviving doubles sadly carried their dead comrade away. "There are actually quite a lot of them you see. X-Factor; the one we're a part of, X-Statix, Excalibur, Generation X, the Morlocks and most famously Alpha Flight."
"Half of them sound so late 20th to early 21st century." Peridot commented. "I mean, X-Statix? Talk about totally cool dudes!"
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Is this Saint Margaret's? We'd like to have a word with the owner." A voice came from the other side, catching all the patrons and employees off-guard. All was quiet, but then the Nasty Boyz came crashing through the wall instead of the door. "LET'S GET NASTY!" they all cried out, springing into action.
"Alright, what the shit is going on here?!" Bob "Patch" Stirrat, the elderly owner of Saint Margaret's growled, emerging from another room while stroking his big bushy mustache. "Oh god, it's the Nasty Boyz."
"The Nasty Boyz?" Peridot and Lapis repeated in unison before they laughed at the evil mutant team's name. Suddenly, the wood tables of the bar came to life and changed their form thanks to Ramrod, who used them to restrain everyone aside from Deadpool. "Okay boys, frisk him."
On Ramrod's orders, Gorgeous George used his shapeshifting powers to grab Wade by the ankles and dangle him above the ground. "Let's see what he's got here." Ruckus muttered, fishing through the belongings dropped as Wade was shaken up and down. "Various pistols, swords, nunchucks, staves, forks, a bazooka."
"Most of those were from a Ninja Turtles convention I went to last year." Wade revealed. "Don't know where the bazooka came from."
"Rubber chicken, five month old bag of pizza pockets; that are still warm," Slab continued for his teammate. "Ryan Reynolds's phone number, large collection of nude selfies from Thumbelin-WHAT?!"
To Slab's absolute shock and fury, he found an overfilled file of lewd pictures taken by his sister Kristina Anderson with her phone number on it, along with a message saying "I bet you want more, my raging sex machine!" Crushing the file in his hand, Slab furiously glared at Deadpool. "Wilson, you son of a bitch!"
"Geez Chris, I thought you had a sense of humor." Wade grinned cheekily. "After all, SHE'S YOUR SISTER!" Then like Thor returning Mjolnir to his hand, the mercenary wiggled his fingers to call one of his katana blades back and free himself from Gorgeous George before rescuing his friends. "SSSSSSmokin'!" he hissed before spin-dashing out of the bar.
"After that degenerate!" Hairbag exclaimed while Slab frothed in wordless rage and the Boyz gave chase, leaving the bar in tatters. "Hey, which of you assholes is gonna clean this up?!" Patch exclaimed, but then he answered his own question by handing Weasel a broom.
--
"Everyone, to the Deadpoolmobile!" Deadpool exclaimed as the X-Force and Crystal Temps piled into the limousine from earlier. "Where did you ever get this car anyways?" Bismuth asked him, and he replied. "Don't think about it!"
Far across the city, Robert Kelly was left facepalming and a colleague of his scratching his head when they discovered that one of Kelly's limos was missing, its place taken by a graffiti message saying "I O U".
"I hate that Deadpool." Senator Kelly groaned.
--
"You get back here this instant you red-masked c-" Slab called for Deadpool as the Nasty Boyz chased them in a stolen taxi, but his cursing was cut off by Deadpool popping out the sunroof of the limousine to open fire on them.
"Wait, if Deadpool is up there, then who is driving?" Connie asked the group, and that's when Yukio made a shocking realization. "Oh my god, Demon Bear is driving!" she exclaimed pointing to a demonic bear that was taking the wheel. "How can that be?!"
--
"That's right folks, Lawrence Abrams is here to report that the insanely infamous insane mercenary Deadpool has started an intense car chase where he's hijacked a limo belonging to Senator Robert Kelly and is being chased by a group of other mutants called the Nasty Boyz." Lawrence Abrams said on the television at the Baxter Building, where Garnet, Pearl, Colossus and Wolverine had now caught wind of the event. "And there's also some kinda bear driving the limo for some reason. Why's there a bear?! Who gives a damn! And now onto Sally Floyd with politics!"
"Deadpool." Colossus glowered in embarrassment. "Come my friends, we must go and handle this crisis ourselves." He declared while preparing to leave the building. "But you let Connie go on that mission for her optimism." Pearl stated to the metal mutant while setting Reed and Sue's young son Franklin Richards on the floor.
"We know Pearl, but that maniac is a whole 'nother level of unpredictable." Wolverine grumbled. "And there's a high chance Connie's life is at risk here! Right Garnet?"
"Logan is correct. I can see multiple paths where things go horribly wrong." Garnet agreed with Logan. "Oh, you're leaving already?" Franklin's older sister Valeria asked them. "Mom and Dad were just about to introduce you to H.E.R.B.I.E."
"It's alright Valeria, they still have friends to help." Susan assured her daughter. "Go on Gems, we'll catch up with you back at the mansion."
"It's been a pleasure to be shown around the Baxter Building and meeting the kids Sue." Pearl said gratefully and shook the Invisible Woman's hand. "I especially like how Franklin reminds me of Steven."
"Bye Ms. Pearl!" Franklin said goodbye by hugging the tall Gem's leg. "Oh, goodbye to you too Frank." Pearl replied. "Hey, what about me?!" the Four's AI H.E.R.B.I.E exclaimed irritably. "Don't I get anything to say?!"
--
"Oy Cain, you gotta check this out!" Black Tom called to Juggernaut while he was watching TV. The Brotherhood of Mutants had stopped to refuel their ship and Black Tom had run off on his own when he discovered a TV shop playing the same news report of Deadpool's car chase. "What say we give Deadpool an old one-two before Mags finishes up?"
"You son of a bitch, I'm in!" Juggernaut exclaimed eagerly, giving his teammate a fist-bump that knocked Tom to the ground. "You okay there?"
--
"We have your limousine surrounded! Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!" a police officer barked into a bullhorn as they had Deadpool and pals backed into a corner. "I would make a police brutality joke, but even I know that would be too soon." Wade said to the readers as he screeched the limo to a stop, making donuts on the street and damaging numerous police cars in the process.
"Okay, now you're just either showing off or defying us." The cop with the megaphone japed. Just then, a mighty thud briefly shook the ground. And another. And another. And another. And-
"Quit stalling writer, we know who it is! It's the goddamn Juggernaut!" Deadpool interrupted the third-person omniscient narrator. "Literally everyone and their goddamn long lost relatives know who he is!" The mighty Juggernaut continued inching closer to the fanboying mercenary while the police scattered out of fear of him and Peridot poked her head out the sunroof to see what was up.
"Uh, Wade?" the petite Gem squeaked nervously. "You know who that is right?"
"Didn't I just say that it's ol' Juggernaut?!" Wade exclaimed to his new best friend. "Oh, the things I could say about how much of a badass he is! This guy has beaten the shit outta Cyttorak, the Thing, Colossus, Blob & Thor and even called banging She-Hulk a stalemate! Maybe, that last one was actually a cl-"
Before Deadpool could finish the sentence, Juggernaut grabbed him by the neck with just two fingers and brought him very close to his helmeted face. "Hello Wade." He beamed callously. "Hey Cainy, is that new toothpaste I smell?" Deadpool greeted him nervously. "What flavor is it this time, Feeling Bad About Your Shitty Mutant Powers So You Get New Ones from Cyttorak?"
"Goddamn he went there." Black Tom muttered, only to receive a glare from his partner.
"Deadpool!" Garnet called for the Merc with a Mouth as she, Pearl, Colossus and Wolverine entered the scene. "Oh, hey guys." Peridot nervously waved to her fellow Crystal Gems. "What brings you here?"
"We came here to take control of this current situation." Pearl explained. "No matter how much you want to swear and kill and all sorts of other crass activities, we still need your help in saving a friend of ours."
"I appreciate you want me to be more involved in this story Mordecai," Wade said to Pearl. "but can this wait a bit? I'm currently in the middle of worshipping the Juggernaut, bit-"
However within seconds, Deadpool was mashed into the ground by Juggernaut, leaving only a few scattered body parts lying in a puddle of blood. "Oh, so rude!" his disembodied head declared indignantly. "And to think we were buddies at one time Marky-Mark." He then turned to face the audience one last time before the degenerate would meet his not very possible untimely end. "But since I'm literally nothing but blood, my head, a few fingers, an upper arm and my dick right now, let's lighten the mood a little with some more gags, shall we?"
"As if we didn't waste enough time already."
--
"I love the smell of 372,844 pancakes in the morning." Deadpool declared as he flipped his last pancake and added it to the growing mountain of pancakes. "Smells like victory!"
"Why on Earth would you need this many pancakes?" Bismuth asked while Deadpool turned on the ceiling sprinklers to pour maple syrup all over each and every one of them at once. "Well, that's pretty clever I'll admit."
--
"Okay Peridot, ace this test and you're on the team!" Wade, now a coach for the girls' swim team comprised of Lapis, Bismuth, Domino, Warhead, Yukio, Outlaw, Copycat, Psylocke & Nephrite, announced to their soon to be newest member Peridot while she prepared to dive.
"This is it Peri, get this right and you'll make everyone proud!" Peridot muttered to herself while adjusting her cap and gazing at Lapis. As soon as Coach Wade blew the whistle, Peridot leaped into the water…and soon began struggling to keep herself afloat in a very exaggerated manner. "AAAAAGH, SOMEONE HELP! LIFEGUARD, COACH, SOS! THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA!" she shrieked for help before the chlorinated water won out and she sank to the bottom.
"I'll save you!" Cable roared while assuming the role of a lifeguard, preparing to jump in the water after her when Wade stopped him. "No no, wait for the punchline."
When Peridot finally breached the surface, she dramatically gasped for air and then frantically paddled towards the end of the pool, grabbing the ledge with a serious expression on her face. "So, how do you like my swimming?" she asked, acting like nothing had happened. However, no one else was there to answer except for Deadpool. "Hey, where did everyone go?!"
"They jumped ship an hour ago because they were tired of waiting." Wade answered. "But you still get on the team cause you really made me laugh."
--
"Gotta say Lapis, we got quite a team here." Deadpool remarked proudly to his fellow baseball player Lapis. "Uh, yeah, they're great." Lapis nervously replied while failing to get the joke. "So, who's on first?"
"Yeah, and what's on second." Wade responded eagerly. "No, I want to know who's on first." Lapis continued asking. "Exactly! We already established that who's on first, what's on second and I don't know is third."
"Wait, do you not know their names or are those seriously what they're called?" the ocean Gem asked, causing great irritation for her team captain. "Dammit Lapis, you spoiled the punchline!" he reprimanded her. "In fact, this whole Abbott and Costello tribute was just an excuse to see you dress up as Bob again! I mean, can you blame me with those shorts?"
"Abbott and who now?" Lapis remarked with a raised eyebrow.
"You really need to get out more." Wade deadpanned, lowering his eyelids in response.
--
"Welcome back one and all to Celebrity Jeopardy." Pearl announced, now dressed as Alex Trebek. "Now before we proceed, I'd like to apologize on the behalf of our contestants to all viewers with rather unusual lifestyles. We here at the studio refuse to judge anyone based on how they live, and sincerely hope you accept our apologies. Now then, let's proceed with our contestants."
Deadpool was in the podium closest to Pearl, now dressed as Sean Connery. "Mr. Connery is in first place with only -1 dollar." Pearl began recapping for the viewers at home. "About as many points as your mother gave you!" Wade cackled.
"Classy." Pearl responded crossly before shining the spotlight on Lewis Black, aka Peridot. "Mr. Black now has a score of, shockingly enough, -6,000 dollars." She explained, prompting the small Gem turned abrasive comedian to climb up on top of her podium in the middle. "Is that enough to buy my own bus?"
"And finally, Josh Brolin, now having raised 35 dollars." Pearl concluded while Juggernaut assumed the role of the aforementioned actor many may know as a certain Mad Titan. "I don't feel so good." Cain muttered. "Damn, walked right into that one!"
"Very well then. With introductions out of the way, let's move onto the board." Pearl stated, moving her eyes from the podiums to the categories. "Tonight our categories are Annals of History, Potent Potables, What Bulls Hit, Jokes, Popular Foreign Television, Places with Names Ending in 'Nia' and Video Games." Deadpool then pressed his buzzer. "Mr. Connery, you have the board."
"I'll take What Bullshit for $500 Al." Wade announced with a stupid grin on his face, clearly misreading the category he had chosen. "And I can tell you plenty of things that are bullshit."
"No, it clearly says What Bulls-" Pearl began to correct the masked contestant before she came to a realization. "Whoa! Okay, walked right into that one. Anyways, the question is: "It is commonly believed bulls are enraged by this color". Mr. Connery?"
"I'll tell you something I've hit recently." Deadpool chortled. "Hit up a few bars over the past week while hanging with your mom. She and I had a wonderful time, if you get what I mean! Wink wink, nudge nudge."
"I don't even have a mother!" Pearl ranted hotly. "And can we please return to what was happening earlier?! These pop culture references are nothing but a waste of time!"
"Thank you!"
"Boldface, you ignorant slut."
--
"Oh no, Wade!" Peridot yelled for Deadpool as she dashed out the limo to check on the puddle of blood and body parts that was once her new friend. "Please speak to us you clod, you can't die like this!"
"That's because I can't!" Deadpool proudly declared and in a beautiful Disney-like spectacle, slowly reassembled himself until he was the full-bodied lovable manic once again. "Healing factor baby! Got it when some asshole tried to cure my cancer, along with looking like a walking tumor."
"Uh hey, remember us?" the Nasty Boyz cried out in unison, catching the merc's attention. "Oh right, you guys. Gotta wrap up the chapter somehow." As a result, Wade opened fire on the evil mutants, shooting them in the arms, kneecaps and especially their dicks. "Oh and Bismuth, Peridot? You guys got Black Tom & Juggies. I'll take Garnet and Pearl!"
"You got it, I guess." Bismuth complied before she and her little friend squared off with Cassidy & Cain, leaving Wade alone against the senior Crystal Gems.
"Hey, what about us?" Lapis asked the writer, who responded by typing, "Didn't think that far ahead. You guys can just do crowd control."
"Okay Q-Bert and Drinking Bird," Deadpool exclaimed. "you two may have thousands of years of battle experience on your show but in terms of franchise ages, I've been doing this for far longer! There was even a graphic novel trilogy where an actually insane version of me killed the rest of Marvel, tons of classic literature characters and even other versions of me!"
"Do you have any idea what he's saying anymore?" Pearl asked Garnet. "I'm not sure. I fear he may be too unpredictable for us to comprehend!" Garnet answered fearfully. "You can try if you want." Deadpool beckoned them with a silly dance. "But I can assure you that hilarity will ensue!"
Pearl leaped at the Merc with a Mouth, but she was quickly denied a hit when Wade did a pirouette and kicked her in the back, sending her flying into a lamppost. "See, what did I tells ya?!"
Garnet tried her hand at attacking by enlarging her gauntlets & launching them at her foe, but they proved to be useless against him. Deadpool then rapidly fired his gun at Garnet, but she blocked all the bullets with her gauntlets and then finally moved so fast, not even Deadpool could catch her and was punched in the face.
"Wow okay, you got the guts!" Wade yelled while readjusting his head from the hit. "Seems like I really am a bit outmatched by you Garnet. Or maybe a certain someone just wants to make things fair!"
"Come on you maniac, what else can you throw at us?!" Pearl asked pointing her spear. "Oh what else can I throw?" Deadpool replied, letting out a sinister giggle while wearing a pair of shiny glasses and clasping his fingers together. "Let me show you!"
Whipping out his katana blades, Deadpool laughed maniacally while using them to tear the background apart, leaving nothing but a blank white space behind. "WELCOME CRYSTAL GEMS TO MY TURF! I PRESENT TO YOU THE FOURTH WALL, WHERE LOGIC IS JUST AS ILLEGAL AS JAYWALKING!"
"This is starting to remind me of that Uncle person." Pearl muttered in awe. "I thought we promised to never speak of that man again." Garnet instructed the former servant. "Well if he wants to make jokes and talk to the audience, then so can we."
When the two Gems joined hand, there was a bright shimmer as the pair merged into the returning glamorous Sardonyx. "Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in-between, the Gem Hostess with the Mostest has finally returned!" the fusion of Garnet and Pearl announced. "And it seems we have a very special guest star today."
"Sardonyx, huh?" Deadpool muttered while scrolling through the Steven Universe wiki for statistics. "Oh I see, she's here because we can both break the fourth wall!"
"A worthy opponent for you I must say!" Sardonyx chortled before smashing Deadpool in with her hammer. "Of course you realize this means war!" Wade roared, proceeding to whip out numerous cartoon guns, launching them all at once. "RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA-RATA!" he screamed while launching lead at his fusion foe, following up with a declaration of "Omae wa mou shindeiru."
"N-NANI?!" Sardonyx cried out in shock before she spontaneously combusted with a cry of "HIDEBU!" However, the explosion cleared up and she was perfectly fine. "Psyche! Hammer time!"
Before Sardonyx could hit Deadpool with the hammer again, he disappeared into a cartoon hole like it were a solid object and reappeared out another. "Ha, that Spot douche should take notes from-OH GOD!"
"Anyone up for Whack-A-Mole?!" Sardonyx exclaimed, proceeding to whack her opponent multiple times with her hammer before he vanished and popped out another hole. And another, and another, and another, and another, until the hiding began to tire him out. "Jesus she's good." Wade panted, and then he began to make a plan. "I swore that I would never use this the moment I stole it from those schmoes, but I'm left with no choice!"
Sticking a hand up his red-clad butt, Deadpool pulled it out while holding a small black jewel that seemed similar to the Infinity Stones. "Ough, I also swore to never use it again because looking for it is a literal pain in my ass!"
"That Infinity Stone isn't canon!" Sardonyx objected while sounding like a stereotypical nerd. "Oh it may not be canon my dear, but we're in the Fourth Wall where anything could happen." Deadpool explained deviously. "With this Continuity Stone, I could warp all reality to my whims! I could use it to go back in time and erase One More Day by preventing Civil War from happening, or maybe beat the shit outta that Judas Traveller prick and his butt-buddies! But what I plan on doing now is using this stone to erase you from this reality once and for all!"
"Oh no, I don't feel so good!" Sardonyx dramatically announced as she felt herself fading away. "I'm melting! Melting! Oh what a world, what a world!" With that, the fusion finally vanished and presumably Garnet & Pearl as well. As Deadpool let out a heavy sigh, he suddenly realized that the Continuity Stone was now missing. "What the?! Where did it go!?"
"Looking for something Ninja Spidey?" a familiar voice rang out. Sardonyx was now back to normal and smugly held the Stone in her hand, setting it down like a golfball and swinging it at Deadpool's eye, causing his body to explode.
"Can I at least get one F-bomb in Mr. Author Man? Please?" Wade begged the author by putting on his best puppy dog eyes until his disembodied head landed in one of Sardonyx's hands. "To be or not to be," she began quoting Shakespeare. "That is the question."
"I got a question." The mercenary's head growled angrily. "On a scale from one to ten, how much do you think I FUCKING hate you?"
"Watch the mouth sonny, children could be reading this!" Sardonyx chortled. "Now then, let's finish this chapter!"
--
One bypass of the chapter break later, Sardonyx and the defeated Deadpool were now out of the Fourth Wall and back in the real world where the Nasty Boyz, Juggernaut & Black Tom were now nowhere to be seen.
"Okay, I give up!" Deadpool complained while his body began to regenerate. "I'll go with your stupid plan! Didn't really need to treat me like how Pearl killed that one Irishman during the Easter Rising."
"It was an accident!" Pearl exclaimed as she and Garnet defused. "And how did you possibly know?"
"But before we move onto the next chapter, can we make a quick stop first?" Deadpool asked. "There's a joke I think needs resolving."
--
"You'll never take the whale from me Wilson!" Captain Ahab exclaimed as he engaged in a swordfight with the dread pirate Straw Hat Deadpool and his motley crew. "I'll surrender when I get eaten alive!"
"Funny you should mention that Habbo." First Mate Peridot sneered before she whistled loudly for Willy to breach the surface, breaking most of Ahab's ship and swallowing him whole. "I'll get you for this Wade!" Ahab shrieked vengefully. "You haven't seen the last of me!"
When Ahab was finally swallowed, Willy gave the pirates his farewells and dove back into the water, free again at last.
"What did parodying both Free Willy and Moby Dick have to do with anything?" Pearl asked Straw Hat Deadpool. "You know what? After what I've experienced, I don't think I want to know."
--
At long last, the chapter is done! Good thing too, because my partner has just started college as we write this and all that education is gonna cut into his freetime!
Yes indeed, the next chapter will take a bit longer to come out because of college. But I still get a few months off soon, so there you go.
Well, that should settle it. You get some free writing done and I won't take your ANDY ONLY stuff. Hasta luego amigo! And be sure to give my regards to your mom!
10 notes · View notes
aw-eather · 4 years
Text
Heather Watches SG1: s2ep22 Out of Mind and s3ep01 Into the Fire
Ah two of my all time favourites. Maybe even THE favourites. They’re just SO good. Also my shipper heart cannot take it but we love torturing ourselves here so lets go. 
I’m gonna try and do enough that y’all get at least one post a day and scheduel them to go up periodically :) 
This go very long so I hope it posts properly. 
Ooooh mysterious tank
I mean honestly this was suspicious from the get go
Don’t trust this guy
JACK
YOU’RE ALL WET JACK
Is he? 
Are they dead tho? Are you sure? Cause that sounds fake... 
You see, the year is now.............. 2077
CREDITS
Teal’c looks all big and scary but really he’s a precious boy
End credits
TERYL ROTHERY
honestly that device looks very Star Trek
Missed opportunity to make a 69 joke
Girl he has been asleep for 79 years he probably remembers shit all 
Good boy, answer nothing. Don‘t trust the random men that woke you up
thats not sarcasm, I don’t trust them either 
“the rest of the facility” riiiiiight
Wizard of Oz reference
38 teams is a lot of teams
MMMMMMMM sounds FAKE
DON’T TRUST HIM JACK
General whats his face just dropped something on the ground
STARGATE
Jack is handsome
Me: I’m gay
Jack O’Neill: Yeah sure ya bethcha 
Are ya just? What makes ya think Jack can help? he’s been asleep for 79 years
Tok’ra mind probe
Benefical alliance my ass, what did they ever really do for the Tau’ri??
Except promise to send a ship when they “had one available”
So thinking of Sam right now would be BAD Jack. 
NOX
I LOVE THE NOX
WHAT CUTIES
look at them, they’re so sweet
Jack stop thinking and showing them shit 
Could be a great weapon but the Nox are peaceful and beautiful and I love them
LITTLE GREY ALIENS WITH THE LITTLE GREY BUTTS
Thats a big ship
This is the only “look at all the shit we’ve managed to do so far” episode that is actually any good
Why don’t we meet the Furlings?
I wanna meet them 
They sound fluffy
I love the baby asgards look at ‘em so cuuuuute
Kathrine! You’re great girly
“Touch it” *Jack touches it without knowing what it does, could die*
Jack waving his gun to touch the molecules seems like a bad idea
Yeah let him rest stop bullying him
purple goop
stop the pruple goop Jack
purple goop is never a good thing
Oh look... ANOTHER tank
DANNY BOY
Please cover your nipples
I don’t wanna see your man nipples
A third tank... funny that
SSSSAAAAAAMMMMMM
Funny how none of them are ACTUALLY dead
LIES WE’VE JUST SEEM THEM
Get these people some clothes
leaving her wrapped in a blanket is rude
Blanket looks like a mat tbh
BRATAC
SKARRA
Daniels hair is so bad in this episode I’m not sorry its HORRIBLE 
He has a SHIELD Jack
FUCK YEAH JACK THROW THAT KNIFE YAS
HATHOR
I love Hathor hosts
She’s great honestly
Sam and janet and the girls kicking ass is the best
RIP Hathor 
No seriously Daniel’s hair is BAD
Teal’c
JANET
ah yes, unusual 
Teal’c is so passionate and caring about his friends I love him so much
THREE FUCKING WEEKS?!?!?!?!
janet is such an angel you can’t convince me otherwise
Are they tho? 
Yeah he would but Teal’c with do anything for his F A M I L Y
Well he will leave
Aw Teal’c I love you with my entire heart
That zoom in on the patch is nice 
YES JACK STOP THE GOOP
Nice kick! 
BYE TEAL’C I LOVE YOU
AWW THIS EXCHANGE IS SO NICE 
AW THE SALUTE BABE NO THAT HURTS MY HEART ITS SO SWEET
#SorryNotSorry but Jack looks so fucking good in this outfit 
Like... he looks sooooo good
God I am questioning my sexuality left right and centre today
But seriously can he dress like that more often? 
Go get ya girl, Jack!
Oh look... not the SGC 
WHO WOULD HAVE EVER GUESSED
Serpant and Horus guards! :O
STOP THINKING BABE
THEY GONNA FIND YOOOOOU
SAAAAAAAAAM
BEAT THIS GUYS ASS AND SAVE. YOUR. GIRL
O U C H THAT WOULD FUCKING HURT
SHOULDER TOUCHING 
SHOULDER RUBBING
SHOULDER TOUCHING 
SHE IS TOUCHING HIM
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD FOLLOWED BY A MEMORY OF HIM NEARLY DYING 
SHE’S STILL HOLDING HIS SHOULDER
STARING AT HER NAKED BACK
TRYING NOT TO STARE AT HER NAKED BACK
HE IS SO IN TROUBLE 
HE FANCIES HER SO MUCH 
I MEAN SAME
she also looks good but like he looks better???
GRABBING
WALL HOLDING
HANDS TOUCHING SHOULDERS
PINKY CURLED IN SO HE DOESN’T TOUCH BARE SKIN
COULD HAVE MOVED BUT ISN’T MOVING 
THEY WANNA HOLD EACH OTHER
DEAR GOD
sorry I’ll stop with the caps
I just physically cannot with those two
i love them so much
and i hate how they were treatd
Hathor you idiot, 
SUANNE
LOL Jack 
Servants in the royal court? Yeah sounds great
Rude Jack
lol the pat on the shoulder Jack you dick
uuuuuuhhhhh didn’t notice before how HOT IT IS WHEN HATHOR RUNS THE IDC REMOTE UNDER SAMS CHIN AND THE LOOK SAM GIVES HER I-
ACK SNAKE
I hate them the same way Jack does tbh
they make me squirm
Give it to Daniel. Why is Daniel the only one that never has a snake in him... wait... 
sorry but I just wanna talk with the national captions institute... 
Alright! On to Into the Fire! 
DAVIS
MAJOR DAVIS I LOVE YOU
MY FAVOURITE
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH EVEN IF THINGS DO FALL TO SHIT WHENEVER YOU’RE THERE
Dramatic zooooom on Hathors name for E M P H A S I S 
CREDITS
I love how Hammond is like EVERYONE is saving SG1
How DARE you, Daivs. They are THE team, rude!
I love that everyone steps forward because everyone loves SG1 but also everyone knows you don’t leave anyone else behind. 
I love Hammond
MARTIN WOOD :O
He is a great director
Ew snake
Jack still looks fucking good 
Jack now is not the time for sass 
Give it to Daniel. No one cares
Sam is like “I’m not scared bitch bring it”
Of course it wants Jack
Poor Jack
Why is it always him?? 
You tried, buddy
Sam’s hand on his CHEST PLEASE JUST GET MARRIED
TEAL’C 
BRATAC
Sam literally hates watching Jack in any pain 
Poor Jack
Hathor fuck off
What exactly was the point of ripping his shirt? It makes no difference to the snake going in the back of HIS HEAD
Ew
oh gross
i hate it
I hate it so much
ugh the chills I currently have
Suanne Baun is super pretty though
YAS TOK’RA LADY
WE RESPECT AND LOVE YOU
Another Wizard of Oz reference 
Sorry Daniel looks so bad
its the hair honestly, the little dorky fringe
Sam’s hair, on the other hand *chefs kiss*
Yeah but he’ll be fine, Tok’ra lady saved the day <3 
YAS GIRL
NOOO Poor Tok’ra lady
Sorry fam, I forgot her name lol 
Sam pulling that jacket on, Sam in a jacket thats a little too big for her , Sam in a white shirt.. Sam
Yeah they are Teal’c. 
Dead and false and dead... or is he???
Hand dance
Energy barrier is in the way, boys continue to shoot
oh no shooting towers of death are never a good sign
And of course Daniel got hurt so we have to baby him for the rest of the fucking episode jfc just sit him down somewhere and Sam and the rest of the teams can do the hard work... again
Cool Tok’ra tunnels are Cool
Lol Daniel being sassy (oh its just a deep, bleeding gash, it’ll be fine) lol sorry he is funny when he’s sassy
I’m sick of your army already, Hathor
OOOOH a barrier 
Hammond is awaiting 
Why do they give them such short time periods to do shit? Like they know things go wrong literally ALL THE TIME 
Like “hi you have 24 hours to go into a SECURE, GOA’ULD FACILITY, RETRIEVE THREE SG MEMBERS AND GET OUT. PIECE.OF.CAKE”
6 hours is a long time to sit on your hands and do nothing tho. Ah well might as well go and save the boyfriend
The president can suck a rotten potatoe
Davis, you can’t really argue with him, he outranks you about 4 times
Sam’s sleeves are too long and baggy and its SO CUTE
GO SAM
SAVE THE DAY
BUT SAVE YOUR BOYFRIEND FIRST 
Hammond visiting Chulak 
because he’s an angel baby
and the best dad ever to his four kids; Major Dr Science Space Baby, Sassy Grumpy Fruit Loop and Sam Carter Loving Space Baby, Warrior Gentle Giant Space Baby and Annoying, Doesn’t know shit, Archaeologist Space Baby.
Yas Teal’c, spill that tea
I will join you, bb
Hammond in a toga will also join you cause he a babe
and he needs your help cause Davis said No. 
HAMMOND OF TEXAS IS MY FAVOURITE THING EVER I LOVE IT 
Sam: I’m gonna go and shut this shield down
Sam: but not until I have tried to save my Future Husband. 
Poor Tok’ra lady
Hand on chest again
Fucking Hathor man
Go away boo, you’re ruining the moment 
Stop hurting Sam
YAS JACK FUCK YES I LOVE THAT
I love his response to it too
Like the shock and fear
This hug goes on a long time
I know he’s cold or whatever but like... 
and I know he’s in shock and so is she a bit
he’s doing it for her as much as him
but they’re STILL hugging
They literally never do this again
Its so sweet because after this its just... nothing? Like POV happens and then Upgrade and Divide and Conquer and they go ah fuck we can’t hug anymore so all we get is platonic shoulder holding and using shoulders as pillows. The closes we get to a hug is Death Knell and emotional trauma Threads. I want a REAL hug
And he holds her arms for ages and helps her up
Wow they’re so fucking in love this hurts
“Found ‘em” Jack stop so cute
C4! Who’d have thought it
Ah shit they’re surrounded 
He still looks good
They BOTH look good 
They make a great couple 
Nope, not really but its what ya got so you’re gonna have to deal with it
This general guy is a bit of a dick
Thats right Sam, don’t listen. Good job, Danny boy.
Only 1? Thats not a lot of time
Get out there, Jack! Buy that time
Gun Bum! (if you know Sanctuary, you’ll get it)
He’s really not doing a great job of pretending to be a Goa’uld
Its really not impossible 
ex-goddess lol 
“She’s Gone. She is no more.” I’m honestly shocked people didn’t shoot him more often 
I love him tho
Thank god, thats good timing
Hammond is IN. HIS. ELEMENT 
There is no way she heard hiom say now but she still knew. I love them. I love how well they know each other and they’ve only known each other a little over two years
Time to KICK SOME ASS
JAFFA YAS
ooh coming in from behind, sneaky
YEEHAW
OH HAMMOND YOU PRECIOUS BABY
Sam going straight to Jack and it looks like she goes to put her arm around him. 
I hate them ffs
Bra’tac and Human fuck me thats so cute
Sam’s smile when they see Teal’c and Hammond is Gorgeous
and Hammond patting her on the back! stop! I love Space Dad and his idiot Space babies. 
Final Thoughts:
Seriously guys this is my favourite Final and First eps of a season. 
100% one of my favourite two parters, if not my all time favourite two parter
Great direction, good story, excellent bad guys, good acting, just enough suspense with out being too drawn out, something for everyone, comes of the back of a fun as fuck episode (1969), Hammond has a big part, Davis is there, lots of cute Sam/Jack and of course, Daniel’s Elf Hair. 
Also the Tok’ra are actually useful in this one which is SHOCKING 
Lemme know your thoghts friends, I’m excited to hear them! 
18 notes · View notes
demonboidies · 5 years
Text
𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓴𝓵𝔂 - 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓼
pt.7
word count: 2,545
<this is a yandere story, therefore this is a trigger warning for emotional abuse, manipulation, toxic relationships and overall unhealthy obsession towards the reader/mc/yn>
taglist: @iwannabeanidol  @taezeus @jooniescupcakes @aesthetically-messed-up @okepoke @weirdo-in-the-closet @aysha489​ @illnevertrustmyselfagain​ @sessi03​ (comment under this post that you want to be added to the taglist; commenting anywhere else will not be counted for) 
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jungkook was really cute, in general. he captured hearts of many people, unintentionally, of course. it was an obvious fact and everyone knew it. except, all of the atoms in jin, hoseok, namjoon, and yoongi's body wouldve disagreed at this moment.
he was a whining, stomping, stubborn mess right now. tears were streaming down his face as he stomped about in his room, definitely making a big mess. the covers were thrown onto the floor as he kicked the small rug on his floor.
"hey, bun-bun, please stop! do you want noona to see this big mess?" namjoon tried persuading the boy, who stopped momentarily. he shook his head no and namjoon nodded, "exactly. if i tell noona that you made this mess, do you think she'll be happy? who knows she might just leave us if she sees this."
at the prospect of you leaving, his eyes teared up even more. he collapsed onto the ground, grabbing a pillow he had previously thrown onto the ground to cry into.
"no!~~"
the wail made all 4 of the guys cringe. finally, yoongi stepped forward running a hand through jungkook's hair.
"hey, bunny, why don't you get into bed and wait there for y/n to come back?"
jungkook shook his head.
"why not buddy?"
"i-i wanna see her when she comes inside, jungkookie doesn't want to wait any longer."
yoongi nodded thoughtfully, helping his fellow friend up, "we can wait downstairs, let's go."
his hand clasped tightly around jungkook's, letting the little sit on the couch which was positioned right in front of the door. yoongi made sure jungkook was preoccupied, turning to namjoon.
"get him his banana milk."
in a few seconds, the carton of milk was in jungkook's hand as he clutched a pink bunny plush in his other, staring at the door with determination. it was as if he was a runner, you opening the door would be the equivalent to the start of the race, and jungkook would have to run as fast as possible to you - the finish line.
jin sighed dramatically, feeling the weight off of his shoulders as he rolled his chair into the kitchen. hoseok and yoongi followed, letting namjoon stay preoccupied with jungkook.
"gosh, i knew he was reliant on her, but this is the worst episode ever." jin said taking a large gulp of water, he was trying to trick himself by thinking it was vodka. he indeed needed a drink, but right now wasn't an appropriate time.
"you know he has like over," hoseok paused thinking of a reasonable number, "200 photos on his phone, only imagine how many he has on his laptop, tablet, and probably has some on his fucking smart watch. knowing him he probably programmed it differently, just for that."
yoongi chuckled dryly, silently pitying jungkook. "he's so dependent, it's scary." he shook his head as if he was disappointed in jungkook.
hoseok and jin looked at each other, then at yoongi and broke out in laughter.
"coming from the guys who used her as your 'muse'." jin exclaimed, hoseok nodding and laughing along with him.
yoongi's face lit up a light pink, "oh whatever, at least i dont lie to her." his clap back made jin roll his eyes.
"we all agreed to this so don't go on bringing up that. that's just you trying to be a hero." jin's snarky comment made yoongi shut up immediately, although the glare he had directed to jin was clear on how he didn't like his snide comment.
"jungkook is just young, that's why. assured, we all acted that way when we were his age."
"pft, at his age i was kil-"
"noona!!~"
the excited squeal cut off jin who sighed heavily once again. wordlessly, they all walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. they saw jungkook holding you close by your waist, resting his head on your shoulder, even if you were noticeably shorter than him.
"hey jungkook." you patted his shoulder in greeting, your other hand being occupied by taehyung's hand. jimin watched the two youngest get most of the attention so he stomped into the kitchen. he grabbed one of your favorite drinks, bringing it out to you in a glass cup.
"here noona, drink this. you must be exhausted." you thanked jimin with a smile, pulling away from jungkook. you took a sip from the drink, looking at all of the expecting males. were they just waiting for you to come home? their eyes were wide, a smile on their lips...resembling puppies almost.
their eager eyes suddenly tore away from you, noticing your questioning eyes. "so..."
"noona let's play games upstairs!"
"y/n wanna check out my studio? i was working on some new tracks, if you're curious to hear some."
"noona, i never got around to showing you my dance performances right?"
you blinked slowly, staring at the individuals who were looking at you expectingly. the grip around your arm and you looked down to see jungkook looking at you with his bright, big doe eyes and lips formed into a pout.
"noona~ please?"
your breath hitched, the sight making your heart stop. the same time, your hand was being pulled in the direction of taehyung. you looked at the younger male.
"noona, you haven't spent much time with me. jungkook can wait, can't he?" taehyung's tone dropped and you could see in your peripheral vision jungkook moving towards his hyung.
"what? what are you getting at, taehyung?"
the other boy's eyebrows raised, shocked at the sudden informal tone jungkook had.
"i'm sayin-"
BZZT. BZZT. BZZT.
there was a vibration coming from your right pocket. so you took ahold of your ringing device, after un-twining your hand out of taehyung's (with his reluctance, of course), and swiped to answer it. you tried turning your body to the side for some privacy, but jungkook's hold didn't loosen a bit.
so you let out a sigh, saying a greeting to whomever was on the other end.
"good afternoon, ms. y/n."
"uhm, hello. who am i speaking to?"
the boys tried acting like they weren't listening in, except for jungkook who was watching you like a hawk. they were either on their phone, playing games, or just looking out the window.
"this is mr. kim, the secretary of mr. park hyung-sik's company, EyeCandy."
the name was familiar, it was one of the biggest companies regarding technology in South Korea. it was a job you had applied to maybe more than 2 months ago. it was a longshot dream you had. they handled many out of the country project and you simply wanted to become one of their translators. it was stupid of you to think you even had a chance. and it was obvious after the ceo had gotten up on a stage in america and by his side was a girl speaking into a microphone.
"ah," you said, not knowing what to think of it, "and why are you calling? sorry for the rudeness, but i can't wrap my head around it...i mean, i applied months ago."
jin's eyebrow raised in question, definitely paying attention now. applied? as in for a job?
"actually, i'm glad to be the bearer of good news, so we would like to say we have accepted you as mr. park's own personal translator."
you blinked once. twice. and thrice, or the third time.
"i'm sorry but, what?"
"come around at 8 am sharp tomorrow if you're interested."
and the line went dead.
"let's go!" jungkook said tugging your arm to go upstairs. but you wouldn't budge. jungkook began whining slightly, but stopped when you looked concerned with something. it seemed safe for him to assume it was regarding whoever you were on the phone with.  
"oh! i remember, hobi," you said looking at the surprised male in question, "your studio. it should be opening in 20 minutes, you asked for me to remind you earlier this morning."
the boys looked at hoseok suspiciously, but he only smiled gratefully. "oh thank you! i really forgot!"
he glanced at the boys, who were staring at him with high suspicion, but he gave no second thought to them, rushing upstairs.
"you know, noona," taehyung looked at you, softness in his eyes and smile, "you can call me tae or taetae if you want."
you smiled at his cute nickname, opening your mouth to respond, but jungkook cut you off.
"goo! kookie! jungkookie! you can call me those names! even bun-bun!"
'really? i would think annoying brat would be more fitting," yoongi thought bitterly, not loving the fact he was still attached to your arm - and the fact you seemed okay with it.
"well, if we're getting familiar with nicknames," yoongi said with a calm voice, "i give you permission to call me yoongs." he already made clear on the first day he wouldn't mind if you called him oppa or yoongs, but he thought restating it would've encouraged you to call him that more often. "oppa is fine too."
jin glared at him for taking the oppa title. "actually, you could call me oppa too, and if you want jinie. seeing as i am the oldest, that title should be reserved for me too." jin threw a glare at yoongi who only rolled his eyes.
you chuckle at the seemingly playful banter, not knowing how competitive they were actually being.
"joonie is cool with me." namjon said casually, walking closer to you. "and actually could i speak to you alone for a moment."
the mention of being alone with namjoon made junkook tighten his grip around you.
"no! noona is going upstairs with me," he declared for what felt like the thousandth time today,
"goo, i swear only 5 minutes. and you can take her upstairs to play overwatch or whatever."
the youngest showed to sign of letting up, until yoongi sighed and walked up to him. "goo, let's go. namjoon needs to talk about someting serious-"
"i am serious!" jungkook said puffing his chest out.
yoongi gritted his teeth, grabbing jungkook by the back of his neck and making him lean down a bit, so he cuold speak very clearly right into his ear.
"jeon, you better stop fucking around and come with me, let namjoon and y/n talk alone - it's something very important. or i swear to god, i'm gonna...beat the shit out of y/n right now, take them away from you, and make sure you never see them again." yoongi's words held no meaning, zero at all, but it got the reaction he wanted. jungkook let go of you, grabbing yoongi by his collar and staring him right into his irises. yoongi could tell how jungkook had switched, snapped, and was angrier than he's ever seen.
"repeat that shit to my face right now." jungkook, rather jeon, was furious. this persona/alter of jungkook was more aggressive than any other alter that jungkook had (at least known by the boys). it was a very, very, very stern rule in the house to not trigger that part of him. it never really ended well, no matter who tried to calm him down. the only way jeon would leave would be if jungkook had gotten sleep or just past out for whatever reason.
"come on," namjoon said, grabbing your wrist to pull you aside. it would be best if you didn't see anything that was about to go down, "there's something important we need to discuss."
you reluctantly let him tug you in the direction of his office. he shut the door behind you, but you flinched when you heard something crash.
"alright, so what i wanted to talk about was regarding your living location..." his voice trailed off, fiddling with some papers in his drawers, "jin and i wanted to know if you would be staying with us or you would be residing back at your apartment?"
this discussion was really supposed to be saved for later, but hearing your phone call and seeing jungkook's unusually clingy attitude, it seemed to be a good time to bring this question upon you. after all, with everything that seems to be happening at this moment, you might even say yes due to the pressure.
you nodded slowly. the decision had to be made, and the pros and cons of your choices were clear. living with the boys would only make your job easier, however it would inconvenience the boys. living by yourself (as you had been living before) would let you not be in anyone's way, however, the commute to the hill would have to happen every day and it sounded tiresome just thinking about it.
"i mean there is no pressure, however, we - as in all 7 of us - want you to know that it would be no problem if you had decided to stay with us. don't think that you would be a burden, you're already helping us so much. it also seems fitting if you're going to be here every day, in the case of an emergency or something," his voice trailed off in the end, noticing how you were in deep thought. he saw the contemplation on your voice and he smirked a bit. he just needed to convince you a little bit...
"and i'm sorry to say this to you - i just need you to know. the youngest ones really do rely on you for a lot of stuff. we need you here on time to be driving them at their designated hours. also...to think about jungkook - he really needs you by his side as well as taehyung. i don't know if you've noticed, but you're one of their calming remedies."
well now you really couldn't say no. to know that you were actually needed, i mean, you knew you were needed but for the sake of the two youngest. being called their remedies. it was like namjoon was planning all of this out only for you to say yes, his wicked and smooth words were very persuading.
and persuaded you were. it was crazy. you had only met the 7 males a mere day ago, but being called one of their calming remedies. if you were needed for an emergency, it would be too late if you were to commute to the hill. so the only option was...
"i guess i should start packing my things up then," you said, almost hesitantly. "i really would hate to burden you guys, but, my job here might be a waste if i would have to commute every day." you smile softly at the pleased man in front of you.
that was step one done and accomplished. everything was going well.
//I called this one pros and cons bc obvs ar the end,,,,but like pros and cons of jungkook is basically why that's the title
bc see hes a cutie wootie patootie, but hes also an annoying lil bitch for his noona ❤🥰 [pros and cons]
[that was a joke lol pls dont take offence]
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[^jk finding out his noona is paying more attention to his hyungs]
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Here we are at the end of October, in the Year of Our Troubles, 2020. And here I am, continuing my journey to avoid reality by looking for meaning in nostalgia and TV Hunks. It’s Supernatural!
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Alright so we’ve made it to my (possibly/probably) all time favorite quartet of the entire series - Disc 3, Season 1, episodes 9 - 12. For the last few discs, I’ve been keeping things pretty technical in terms of television production and broadcast. But frankly, this sh*t is my jam. All that gooey emotion, all that sweet sweet lore, throw in some man tears and *chef kissy fingers* c'est magnifique! 
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Now I’ll backtrack for a hot second here to talk about the filler vs. self-contained argument that I...probably jumbled in my last post. In shows like this, I tend to use “filler” to describe every episode that isn’t arc, but honestly, that’s not fair to a number of Supernatural episodes. The main difference being, is this episode meant to pad out your season or is it simply an episode that can stand on its own two feet? I’d say that’s the case for this entire disc.
First up, it’s Home. Guys, I think I cheered when I turned this episode on. We take our Winchesters, give them some small victories, build up their confidence, and then totally break them down again by sending them back to the beginning. This is not listed as the “official” return to the arc episodes, but I’d argue that Home is where we see a return to the Main Quest. Oh yeah, and Sam finally admits that he can see...what? What do we call these? Death Omens? I think Sam calls them premonitions? Either way, it’s…*shrugs* sure, do what you want. The premonitions do become important later and they’re basically the catalyst for the whole second season and that resolution takes us into the main conflict for the third season, and so on and so on, it’s a whole thing. It just seems like a hecking lot this go around, ok? But he finally admits it to Dean and that’s probably some kind of growth. Dean going back into that house again is also some kind of growth. Of course, he was like, 4 when he swore he’d never go back to that house again? Whatever, I didn’t care. I get too distracted by the fact that DEAN IS CRYING GUYS! LOOK! HE’S CRYING!!
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Oh, and one more tie to the season arc - Hecking John Winchester shows up. I mean, he’s all over the episode and I think the most shocking thing we find out about him is that he was, at one point, a business owner?? But also it ends with conclusive proof that John Winchester is a massive dick who refuses to talk to his children. And I’m sorry, I don’t buy your “have to finish it first” excuse, I just don’t. To be clear, I’m not mad at the storytelling choice to do that, I’m mad at the character, which I guess is where it should be. 
I like that this episode builds out more of the world that the Winchesters live in with Missouri Mosely (Not the State!). I like that we see they’re not alone in this very literal fight against evil. She checks back in later in the series and honestly, I love Loretta Devine so I would have watched a whole spinoff show about this character. 
Two things I don’t like about this episode? #1 What genius decided that Mary’s ghost would just be on fire for 20 years? Like, cuz that’s what I am understanding about this ghost. That she is just constantly on fire. And that’s...unkind. 
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Mary, who did this to you??
#2 Only a man could have written this episode because no single mom is just gonna LET two rando dudes into her home. 
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Listen boys, you’re cute, but I’m a woman with two small children. Hell no you’re not coming into my house. 
Next up is Asylum and this is so good at walking the line between creepy and Spooky. UNlike the Bloody Mary episode, I do not need to hide my face from the screen at any point during this episode. 
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Hey look, it’s like they’re brothers or something!
This one is another episode that does a good job building character and the world the Winchesters live in. Like any good procedural, it uses the main conflict to bring out the more important conflict. In this case, it literally brings it out, cuz the ghost is a psychiatrist who makes Same confront all his Daddy Issues. And by confront we mean, take it out on his brother who is the saddest-motherf*cker-I’ve-ever-seen BUT HEY! Salting and burning a body finally works for once in their lives! I love all the cringing that Jensen Ackles does in that scene because they clearly hadn’t figured out what that effect was supposed to look like yet. 
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It must have been a real surprise to find out the ghost didn’t light on fire.
Oh and then there’s the phone call! And man, this must have been a bitch of a mid-season finale, cuz this episode aired in November of 2005 and the next episode doesn’t come back until January of 2006 and so you’re just WAITING to hear what John has to say. 
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Now wait for two months to find out what he says. 
And of course, it’s nothing. We come back in January to Scarecrow and John has nothing to say cuz he’s a massive dick. Just calling 6 months in to your nationwide search for me to let you know that I’m not dead, but also, I’m only here to send you on another assignment and cause tension. And so the show continues to break down our dynamic duo because the fight they have over whether they should listen to dad or not literally splits them apart. They also introduce Meg as a new and more involved villain for the series. I mean, sort of. We don’t see her again for like, another five episodes. And then again another five episodes after that. So like, I don’t really...know that introducing her as an antagonist...really had the effect they were hoping for?
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Is she evil cuz she’s a demon or just because she’s blonde???
Here’s some issues I have with Meg, the first recurring female character who isn’t dead - she’s the first recurring female character who isn’t dead and also, I immediately hated her. I remember watching the episode the first time and as soon as I saw her I was like, oh she’s a ruiner. It was almost a relief to find out she was a bad guy at the end because it was like I was allowed to hate her? To be fair to me, Meg comes on hella strong trying to keep Sam from going back to his brother, so we’re not supposed to like her, but looking back on it now I feel like the perpetrator of some real girl-on-girl crime. Does Meg actually do anything wrong? Aside from leaning real hard on some indie-style manic-pixie bohemian free spirit nonsense, she doesn’t do...anything that should make me hate her? Until, of course, she actively acts as a wedge between our dream team, but before then, I don’t...think she does? Honestly, it could just be me, but I do think that TV has gotten much better at writing/directing/presenting female characters in a way that doesn’t feel like they’re literally shoe-horning in a third wheel. And again, ultimately we are supposed to hate her, I just can’t decide if I was picking up on signals that were intentional or not. I remember having similar feelings when they introduced Joe in season 2, but that’s still far ahead.
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I am willing to admit that this might be just me. I will not take back the things I’ve said about Emma Watson though, those are justified. 
And I think introducing more characters is important. It acts the same way introducing Missouri did -it broadens the world. For half a season, our only constants are the brothers. They’re these lone cowboys in a weird, mystical, dangerous wasteland and the villains are more obstacles than actual villains. When the story you’re telling needs to feel bigger than that, you need to do some world building and sometimes that starts with adding more characters. I will say, I hated Meg less this watch than I did on the first one. Or rather, I hated her cuz I knew she was The Worst, not because I felt like adding her to the show was a threat to the storytelling. 
OH! ALSO! The first mention of Dean and Pie! My heart grew three sizes that day! 
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The hecking diner won’t serve him so he never finds out!!!
And finally, to cap it all off, we have Faith which is...a surprisingly rough episode? Ok, listen, Dean just resignedly accepting his own demise is like, ugh. UGH. ugh. Buddy. Buddy you are NOT Ok. Like, Dean is so intent on keeping everyone else in his family alive but does not seem as concerned about his own health and well-being and that...just...ughghghghg...I have a lot of feelings about that. 
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Listen, some day I will talk about Sam, but it is NOT THIS DAY.
Like, I get that Rev. Jerry Gergich Roy Le Grange is not actually healing people, but he literally tells Dean that Dean has a purpose and he was saved from an untimely death for a reason, and he’s kind of not wrong? But then he spends the rest of the episode stopping Roy from healing anyone else and feeling overwhelmingly guilty that he was saved over someone else. I think out of everything that season 1 has presented up to this episode, this is the most philosophical and thematically complex. There’s the question of faith vs skepticism - can we ever just blindly believe in a good turn? The fact that Dean can’t says a lot about him as a human. Then there’s the question of who gets to decide who lives and who dies? Who’s worthy of salvation and who isn’t? Why do bad things happen to good people and why do good things happen to Dean? I mean, when Dean sees the Reaper coming for him at the end, he knows that it’s in exchange for Layla’s life and he’s just...Ok with that? He doesn’t try to run or fight it, and it’s only because of Sam that he doesn’t bite it. And the end of this episode is just a real bitch slap to the feels because Layla, our Very Special Extra, knows she’s going to die and she knows she missed out on her chance to be healed because Dean was an Ass with a capital A and took her turn (probably). And she’s also just ok with that and it kills me a little bit on the inside. 
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Also, Layla is played by Julie Benze from Roswell and Buffy and Dexter and she’s always A+. And Roy was in Snakes on a Plane!
So yeah, not exactly “filler” in the true sense, but ties to the season arc are not as strong as in other episodes. And watching these episodes again I realize just how important they are to the series as a whole. I mentioned Helstrom last week and since then, I’ve finished the season. It’s only 10 episodes, and while I definitely enjoyed it, none of the emotional climaxes felt earned. 
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Is how I feel. About the Emotions in Helstrom. That doesn’t mean I won’t watch a season 2. 
When you focus solely on the main arc in every single episode, you miss these little moments to develop character and relationships. When you get to the end of the season where the Winchesters are finally all in the same room taking on the Big Bad, there’s this feeling of satisfaction - you’ve been waiting for this moment. You’ve been waiting for Sam to reconcile with his father. You’ve been waiting for the guys to finally take on this thing that killed Mary Winchester. You’ve been waiting to see what will happen when the quest is over. That’s what makes the character decisions in the finale feel so big and so important, because they’ve been built up and built up for 22 episodes - 7 months in broadcast time. I think it’s harder to have the sort of weight that Supernatural builds in a show that stays so focused on the arc because its season is only 8 - 10 eps. There’s no room for sidetracking to build on the relationships in the show. You don’t have time for it, so you either have to keep character moments smaller (I’d argue MUCH smaller) or you end up with a finale that doesn’t resonate with the same gravitas as you want it to. 
Don’t get me wrong - I know it sounds like I’m ragging on short seasons, but I think a short season can be very effective when it’s done right. I also think a full season of 22 - 24 episodes can be very effective when it’s done right. But I think there’s a fundamental difference in how you tell the story when you have a short vs. a long season. I think TV is still figuring that out as it goes, as writers who are accustomed to long seasons shift gears to tell their stories with fewer installments. But I hope that TV doesn’t completely do away with the more procedural-style/self-contained episodes since those can be a powerful way to connect with your characters. That’s why I’m here in the first place. 
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ezilyamuzed · 4 years
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Ten Years Gone- The Beginning
Description: Ten years ago, your world had changed. Ten years ago, you had met him, leading your life to never be the same again. Time is running out, but is it too late after all these years?
Word Count: 7775
Warnings: Language, Parent’s death, PG teen “cuddle” time. 
A/N: This is the prelude of a new series. I was listening to Led Zeppelin's ‘Ten Years Gone’ while watching the early episodes of Supernatural and got some ideas... Enjoy. 
Any grammatical mistakes are all my own, because I am human. Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy!   
TEN YEARS GONE MASTERLIST
*Picture and lyrics used are not mine. Led Zeppelin is Amazing.
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Changes fill my time, baby, that's alright with me In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be
Your legs were sprawled out along the back seat of your uncle’s ‘70 Chevelle as you hummed along to the guitar rhythm and stared out the window. The trees and scenery were whooshing past in a blink of an eye, but it all looked pretty much the same no matter where you were. The autumn quickly changing the leaves that were now falling to the ground. Trees, trees, dirt, and grass. Hey a rock. Sometimes you turned your sight seeing into a game to see how long you could stare out without blinking before you either got dizzy or your eyes dried out. Your record was to the second chorus of The Steve Miller Band’s “The Joker”. 
“We almost there? I gotta piss,” you whined up to the front. 
Your uncle Danny let out a laugh as he turned his head to the rear-view mirror to see your turnt up nose. 
“We’re about 5 minutes away. You can hold it until then. If not, I’m sure there is a bottle or something back there.”
Although he was not longer looking you still give him an evil glare in response.
“You know it doesn’t work like that Uncle Danny.”
“Well if you’re going to keep talking like a rude little boy instead of the proper lady like I know your momma raised you to be, I’m going to keep treating you like it,” he replied back, turning the radio down as he spoke.
“She tried. It didn’t stick,” you rolled your eyes in a humph.
“If only she could see you now. Hell, 14, starting up high school…”
“Yeah, how many schools will I go to this year? The standard 4 minimum?” you added with sarcasm.
“One, smartass,” you could see him smiling as he looked to you in the rear view mirror. “I’ve worked out a deal with a buddy of mine while I go on a business trip.”
“Ya hunting plants, fruits, vegetables, or minerals this time?” You laughed at your own dumb joke.
“Don’t you worry about that missy,” he replied. “You just keep your head while I’m gone. No getting into trouble.”
“Who ya dropping me off with anyways? They in the business too,” you asked while making air quotes. 
“Yeah, but recently he has stepped back a little. Actually, he’s been watching two teenage boys around your age while their dad also goes out on the road,” he replied before looking back to you again in the mirror. “And I don’t want to hear about you getting into no trouble with those or any other boys. Ya hear me?”
“Ew, no,” you face twisting in disgust.
“Yeah, you say that now. Soon enough though, you’ll be just like the rest of us and find that special someone that turns ya all stupid enough to want to spend the rest of your life with em.” 
You rolled your eyes again as you slumped back further into the seat, keeping you eyes on the road signs as the passed by. Sioux Falls, North Dakota 10 miles ahead. Ten more miles until you can finally stretch out properly. Ten more miles until you might get to sleep in real bed, in a real house, something you hadn’t done for almost three years.
It had been an unusually warm fall that year. With your birthday approaching, your mom and dad were busy setting up everything for your party. Uncle Danny had taken you out to pick out whatever gift you wanted- a butterfly knife with dusty rose handles. He of course argued with you, but with his vast collection of knives that you had always admired, he agreed as long as it stayed a secret between the two of you. He even had an interesting symbol etched into the blade. It was a little star that looked like flames were coming out of every corner. He said it was extra protection, whatever that had meant. After grabbing ice cream he had driven you home, only too see the door wide open with no answer. He told you to stay in the car, but of course after a few minutes you stopped listening. It was your home. Why would you have to wait outside? That’s when you saw what he wanted to protect you from. Both of your parents, ripped to shreds by what looked like an animal. There was no animal in sight though. You don’t even remember exactly what else happened that day. There were sirens and people in uniforms everywhere. Neighbors of course being nosy and gawking at the scene. What you remembered was your Uncle Danny holding you close and telling you that everything would be okay. And you believed him.
Up until now, he had tried his best to juggle everything- his job and raising you were not easy tasks. You got into fights in school quite a bit, but with the fact that you were leaving it in a week or so to go to another, who really cared? There were nights when you were all alone, waiting patiently for him to return, always wondering in that back of your mind if this was the time you’d lose him too. He always came back though, a little beaten a bruised perhaps, but always with a smile. 
Eventually he finally told you where he was going during all of his trips. Fighting ghosts and other monsters sounded ridiculous to you, but eventually you realized he wasn’t kidding. He was a hunter- he saved people. And that made him that so much cooler. Over the summer he had started teaching you how to shoot and what things to look for. You had already became really good with a knife, learning little tricks and that with the one he had bought you. He had an old notebook that was filled with drawings and descriptions that you tried to memorize, the ink wearing away with each use. You asked if you could join and help on a case, but he would always tell you that it was no place for a kid to be which was complete bullshit. You could handle yourself. You weren’t scared. But with all your protests, he would not budge, thus bringing you to here.
“About 5 more minutes until we’re at Bobby’s,” he stated while turning left down the road. “Hold on to your bladder just a little longer.”
You re-positioned yourself to stare out the window to see if anything was at least interesting around this guy’s house. Nope. Trees, fields, and a couple houses every once in a while. Great - middle of fucking nowhere U.S.A.  You caught the sight of what looked like the after effects of a tornado. Cars and junk everywhere with a little house in the back. 
“Welcome to Singer Salvage yard.”
“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” you moaned.
“Hey, language.”
“Sorry,” you muttered before speaking up again. “But seriously, you are LITERALLY leaving me in a garbage dump. What the hell am I supposed to do here? Get tetanus?”
“No, you’re going to get an education and have a normal childhood,” his voice sounded angry. “Now I know it’s not pretty, but Bobby is a good friend. He will watch out for you and make sure you have everything you need.”
“I’m going to need a bath,” you mumbled under your breath.
When the car finally came to a complete stop and the dust from the ground settled you were able to get a better view of the place. It was alright, probably looked better on the inside. Well, at least you hoped. Still a shithole. There was another chevelle parked alongside it that was just like your uncles, but more on the run down side. Next to it, a sleek black Impala. That was probably Bobby’s car. Hunters always have a thing for muscle cars. Sturdy, reliable, fast, or “American made” as your uncle liked to state. Whatever the reason, they were nice to look at. 
Two men walked out of the house with solemn looks on their faces with two teenage boys trailing behind. You followed your uncle's lead and climbed out of the car to the fresh air. 
“Danny, it’s been a long time,” the dark haired man with a gruff voice stated while extending his hand for a shake.
“ Way too long Johnny,” he replied while shaking his hand before moving to the bearded guy with a baseball cap. “Bobby, thanks for doing this.”
“It’s no trouble at all. There’s already two hellions, what’s another?” He chuckled as he looked over at you staring down to the ground, pushing your chucks into the dirt. “You must be Y/N.”
“Yes sir,” you replied with a tight lipped smile. 
“This is my boy Dean, he’s just a little older than you and my boy Sam who is just a bit younger,” John stated, while guiding the boys closer with his arm, although they clearly could care less.
“Dean, could you and Sam help Y/N inside?” Danny spoke up. “I know I’ve been making her wait to use the restroom, so I’m sure she’ll be grateful to know where it is.”
Dean nodded his head and grabbed at your two bags in the backseat before walking past you to go inside. Sam following. You rolled your eyes to your uncle and trailed behind to your new life- at least for now. 
You were wrong about it possibly being better on the inside. Nope, it was a shithole too that was covered with books and empty liquor bottles. The decor covered by a pound of dust and cobwebs resembled something like a real house, something someone used to care about. 
“Toilets over there,” Dean nodded down the hall while tossing your bags down before he flopped himself on the couch.
“Thanks,” you mumbled as you walked down the hall.
Surprisingly the toilet was at least semi clean, although there was enough hair trimmings in the sink to resemble a small animal.
After finishing in the bathroom you walked out to the living room area. Dean was sprawled out on the couch with a comic book and Sam was sitting on the floor next to him with an old worn down book. Out of place and unwelcomed were the nice ways of saying how you felt at that moment. After grabbing your book bag, you sat down at the kitchen table all alone, not knowing what else to do, but to stare at the walls.
“You boys helped Y/N find her way,” you heard your uncle's voice say as he entered the room.
Dean nodded as he turned the page on his book. Sam looked back at him, following his queue. Your uncle approached you, sitting himself down at the seat next to yours.
“See, it’s not that bad, right kiddo?”
Even though your head was down, you looked up to him through your lashes, rolling your eyes just a little towards the two boys.
“You’ll be fine,” he smiled. “Just give it a little bit and I’m sure you will all be getting along just fine when I come back.”. 
“How long?” You asked although you could guess the answer already.
“Not sure kiddo,” he grabbed your hand and held it gently. “But I’m going to call every Sunday night after dinner time to check in on you. Okay?”
“Okay,” you nodded before wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. “Just come back to me okay Uncle Danny?”
“You be good Y/N;” he said as he returned your hug back before standing up again. “I’ll see you soon kiddo.”
He never promised that he would come back. It was a promise that he couldn’t make. He knew it and you knew. He always said that he would never make a promise to you that he couldn’t keep. That didn’t make it hurt any less.
You watched as he shook Bobby’s hand by the front door, turning to give you a loving smile before leaving out the door to go to the next job that awaited him.
“So, how about you boys actually show Y/N where her room is.” Bobby stated firmly, causing Dean to roll his eyes as he slapped the comic book shut. “You two know how it goes around here. We’re not savages. Now get going.”
“Yes sir,” the two of them mumbled as they got up from their spots. 
Both boys each grabbed one of your bags, still not saying anything really directly to you as they walked up the stairs. Bobby was standing with his arms crossed watching them closely as you followed behind them. 
“This one is where Bobby sleeps,” Sam informed you while pointing to a door. Dean and I are in this one, and you’re the last one down the hall.”
“Yeah, lucky you,” Dean scoffed. “You get your own room.”
“Lucky me,” you stated back with sarcasm. “I get to live here with you.”
Dean turned his head to you with a glare before he opened the door and switched on the light. It was a simple room, surprisingly organized and clean. It was almost like someone had cleaned it recently. 
“This was Dean’s room,” Sam informed you, making you feel a little guilty about displacing him. It wasn’t like this was your choice though.
Dean tossed the bag he was carrying down onto the bed with a thud. Sam chose to use the gentler approach of setting the bag he was carrying on a chair in the corner.
“So what’s your story,” Dean asked as he sat down on the corner of the bed.
You shrugged, as you moved through the room, checking out the view from the window. 
“You travel with your uncle,” Dean stated. “So where’s your parents?”
You turned and looked back to him silently, not really wanting to talk about the tragic backstory of your life.
“Okay, don't talk to us then,” Dean rolled his eyes as he stood up. 
“Dead.”
He paused in his steps and turned to look at you, mouth agape. You returned to look out the window again before continuing, hoping you would see your uncles car any moment again to take you with him.
“It’s just me and Danny;” you continued as you looked over to them. “So what’s your story?”
“Mom’s been gone a long time and dad is in the business,” he stated with some sort of pride. “The family business.”
“Doesn’t a family business typically mean that more than one member of your family is doing it?” You snarked back.
“I’ve gone out on hunts before,” he stated in defense. “I’ve seen a ghost before.”
“Good for you,” you rolled your eyes again. “So why did he leave the two of you here then.”
“Dean got in some trouble on his last hunt,” Sam spoke up. 
“What, did you act like an ass to the monster too?” You smirked to Dean.
“That’s a long story,” he said as he started rubbing the back of his neck. “So how long are you here for?”
“Who knows?” You responded. “Hopefully just a few days, maybe weeks.”
“And you’re like what 13?”
“Fourteen,” you corrected him. “I’ll be fifteen-.”
You stopped yourself short, not wanting to discuss or even think about the fact that you had a birth date like everyone else. It was a day you’d rather forget. You finished your sentence with the word “soon” popping off your lips.
“Are you going to be going to the high school with Dean then?” Sam asked. 
“I guess so,” you shrugged. “So What is there to do around here anyways?”
“Read,” Sam replied with innocence, Dean rolling his eyes in response.
“There ain’t much to do, but there’s always something you can find to at least pass the time.”
“Like what?” You asked. 
Dean laughed while nodding outside.
“Well, you like cars?” He asked as you gave him a side eyed glance. “We got tons of em out there.”
“What do you do? Try to fix em up or something?”
Dean shrugged as you all heard Bobby yelling up the stairs to start getting ready for dinner. 
“Don’t keep him waiting,” Sam said as he walked out the door.
“Is Bobby strict?” You asked Dean who was still standing there, waiting for you to go downstairs as well.
“He’s alright, can be strict at times,” he replied back. “He does his best to make sure that we have some sort of normal in our lives.”
“What’s normal?” You rolled your eyes. “Being dropped off with some strange dude in a shit hole.”
“Give it time,” Dean laughed. “It’s not that bad. It’s better than staying in a crumby motel every night alone. ”
You paused your steps to the door as you heard those words leaving his lips. Motel and alone. Well that summed up the last three years of your life. Guess you did have more in common with these two boys besides being dumped off. If they could handle it, maybe it wasn’t going to be that bad after all.
The next couple weeks weren’t that bad. You had started high school with Dean showing you around. The fact that he became somewhat protective of you was probably why you didn’t seem to have any trouble with the other kids. The boys seemed to be scared of him, and the girls seemed to be in love with him. Each Sunday as promised your uncle would call to check in, consistently avoiding the topic of when he would be coming back. It was alright though. You had become so busy with your school work and hanging out with the boys that you didn’t mind it so much. Bobby’s house was slowly becoming your home.
“So to find the slope, you take the difference from the two Y points and divide by the two corresponding X points,” you stated to Dean as the two of you sat at the kitchen table.
“Why do I even care?” He grumbled.
“Well, slopes give you an idea of the rate of acceleration. Like in a car,” you stated. “Say you know that if you start at the end of the driveway and move to the other end in 60 seconds, you can determine how fast you were going.”
“Or I could just look at the speedometer,” he grinned. 
“Smartass,” you laughed as you shoved his arm. “Okay, so you see a Rugalu, and they move from point A to point B in so many seconds. How fast do you have to move your ass to get the hell out of there?” 
“Who says I wouldn’t stay to fight?”
You rolled your eyes to him again. Clearly at this point he was just being a smartass. 
“Fine, you don’t run away. So how much faster do you have to be to gank him then Winchester?” You asked with a cocky smile.
“Just got to be faster,” he replied. “Who cares how fast?”
“Well, let me give you a little insight into physics and biology. You expel more than enough energy for a task, you deplete your energy storage. Making it easy for the other Rugulu to take you down.”
“Okay, point taken,” he laughed. “Math is important. So how did you become so smart in this shit anyways?”
“My dad was a science professor,” you shrugged, before realizing that you had mentioned him for probably the first time ever to Dean besides the fact that he was dead.
“And your mom?” Dean prodded a little further. 
“History professor,” you replied while taking in a deep breath. “Guess it just rubbed off on me. Anyways, do you get it now?”
“Oh, I got it about a minute after you decided to try and help me,” he smiled. “I just wanted to see how far I could get you frustrated before you gave up.”
You smacked him lightly on his arm as he laughed in response.
“You’re a dick,” you laughed. “Why did you want to see me get frustrated?”
“Because I think it’s awesome that even when you don’t know how to help someone, it gets to you so much that you don’t quit,” he smiled. “That and when you realize that you did in fact help someone, your eyes kind of light up a little. You’re a good person Y/N.”
The way that Dean was looking at you as he spoke was so genuine; no one besides family had ever done that before. It made you feel something at that moment. What it was, you weren’t sure. You bit your lip nervously as he leaned over, pulling his text book back over to him. 
“So question 4, find the y-intercept,” he read from the pages.
“You helping Dean with homework there Y/N?” Bobby stated as he entered the room with Sam, both carrying bags of groceries that could probably feed a small army. Or in this case, the Winchester boys for a weekend. 
“Just making sure he gets it,” you smiled back while standing up to help them put the groceries away.
Peering into the bags, there was an item that you had told Bobby in secret that you needed that you didn’t see. He had either forgotten, or was too embarrassed to pick it up. 
“Um, Bobby,” you muttered. “Ya forgot something.”
He looked at you with furrowed brows until it dawned on him. He mumbled ‘crap’ under his breath before exhaling loudly.
“I suppose you need ‘em soon,” he sighed, you nodding in response. He looked over at Dean finishing the last question of his homework and closing the book. “Dean, take Y/N and my car to the little corner store. Be back in twenty for dinner.”
Dean squinted his eyes in confusion as he grabbed the keys from Bobby. You rolling your own eyes that now Dean was going to be very well aware of the gross part about being a girl: your period. 
You trailed behind Dean after Bobby handed you some cash, muttering an apology as you walked away. In less than 3 minutes, with Dean obviously ignoring anything that resembled a speed limit sign you were at the store.
“So what did you need? Make-up, hair stuff?,” he inquired as he followed you in, making you give him a funny look. “Didn’t know if all of the sudden you were trying to look like those other girls in the school.”
“I’d rather live forever in my comfy jeans and t-shirts then to ever be like them,” you snarked back, as you approached the feminine section.
Dean’s eyes followed where yours went, staring at the boxes of tampons with little flowers printed on them. It was not something he knew a lot about, but he knew enough. He reached over and grabbed a box, staring at the packaging.
“I don’t know why they try to make it all fancy,” he pondered out loud. “I mean, a girl can bleed for a few days and still kick your ass. They should have something more fierce on the box. Like a warrior princess.”
You shook your head with a laugh, catching on that Dean was trying to make this would be awkward situation into a joke. 
“My dad used to say that they used these for bullet holes,” he stated while grabbing two more boxes. “We should probably stock up knowing our luck. Who knows, maybe I’ll need some.”
Your laughter died down as you followed Dean to the register when you saw a group of guys looking and nodding over to the two of you with smirks.
“Looks like Winchester isn’t getting laid this week,” the one stated out loud. “Unless he’s into walking the red carpet.”
Johsua Adams. A notorious prick that thought he was God’s gift to women. First day at school and he had already tried, and failed, to have you,the new girl cozy, up behind the bleachers with him.  Dean just sat the products down on the counter, clenching his jaw as he turned to him with a grin.
“No, that’s what your girlfriend is for.”
Josh’s smile faded quickly, his face hardened now approaching Dean rapidly with you standing next to him. You felt Dean’s arm push you back by your waist, surprising you for a second until you saw what happened next. Josh yelled a ‘fuck you’ as he swung his fist towards Dean’s face, Dean almost effortlessly caught him by the wrist and twisted his arm behind his back.
“Now you’re going apologize for your remarks and you're going to go back to your little circle jerk,” he seethed, holding him steady as he tried to break free. 
Josh’s friends all moved from their spot, clearly pissed off that their friend was being hurt. Dean shook his head stating ‘uh huh’ as he twisted Josh's arm more to make him yell out. 
“Now I’m going to let you go,” Dean instructed the Josh in his ear, loud enough for everyone to hear. “And you all are going to leave me and my friend alone, or next time I won’t be so nice.”
Josh nodded his head, giving Dean the queue that he was going to comply. His friends all stared the two of you down hard with anger as they walked out of the store. You had almost forgotten the fact that you were in a store until you heard the onlooking cashier behind you.
“Your boyfriend there is a good guy,” she stated. “Those boys are nothing but trouble. It was about time someone showed them their place.”
You didn’t argue what she had called him: your boyfriend. Definitely not. Probably not ever. But she was right, he was a good guy. You handed her the money as you lead the way out the door to Bobby’s car. The two of you opening the doors and setting yourself in. 
“Where did you learn how to do that?” You asked with enthusiasm, the whole act was something you had only seen in the movies.
“My dad,” Dean replied. “And Bobby a little. Why?”
“Teach me,” you said as your turned your body to him with intrigue in your eyes.
“What?” Dean exhaled audibly. “Why?”
“You really have to ask?,” you sounding surprised. “Come on Dean! There are tons of assholes out there like that, plus knowing how to take care of myself would definitely help with, you know...those other things that we aren’t supposed to talk about.”
“There is no way in hell I’m teaching you any of that,” he looked at you directly with seriousness on his face. “You haven’t had to know what it’s like to fight for your life; you’re lucky and blessed. And I will be dammed if I ever let you get mixed up in that shit.”
“It’s not like I’m not already mixed up in it Dean! Something supernatural killed my parents. Hell, I’m being raised by hunters! Do you really think I will ever just get on with my life and not have that following me?”
Dean growled lowly, as he shook his head. 
“Fine,” he stated as he turned the key in the ignition to bring the engine to life. “But this is between us. If Bobby knew, he’d kill me.”
“I promise.”
“And leave Sam out of it too. That kid is going to be a doctor or lawyer someday.”
“No problem,” you agreed. “Thanks Dean, for you know, what happened in there.”
“ Anytime,” he said as he pulled out of the spot and drove down the road. “He had it coming to him anyway.”
“And I know why you’re scared to teach me how to fight Dean.”
He glanced over at you with confusion, making you smirk in return.
“Because you know I’ll be able to kick your ass,” you replied with snark. 
“Oh darlin,” he shook his head with a laugh. “You haven’t seen anything yet.” 
The next week, Dean and you had figured out a routine on when he was able to teach you. Most of the time it was right after dinner when Sam would be caught up in a book and Bobby would pass out drunk at his desk.
The garage light was enough for you to see what you were doing, and far enough away from the house so they couldn’t hear you.
“Okay, so again,” Dean stated, making you follow his directions in the sequence as he rattled them off. “Left punch, right punch, left uppercut, and a right hook.”
You did as you were told, until he stated to go faster, and then faster again. Dean shook his head in disapproval as he watched. 
“You’re locking your arms too much,” he said as he gripped your right elbow. “You’re going to break something of yours, not theirs.”
His hands moved to reposition your arm, tickling a little as he touched your skin; making you flinch back with a giggle.
“Ticklish huh?” Dean smirked as his eyes grew wide.
“You wouldn’t dare,” you laughed, as you noticed the devilish look in his eyes. 
He reached over as you tried to move out of the way, and furiously tickled you all over in an instant. Your laughter echoed through the room as you tried to get away, but he was not stopping.
“Stop Dean! Stop,” you gasped out in between your laughter, tears now rolling down you eyes. “I’m going to piss myself!”
He continued with his own laughter as you twisted yourself and started to fumble backwards; grabbing onto his arms to bring him down as well as your back hit the ground. 
“Ow,” you laughed again, Dean propping himself up on his hands next to your sides, staring down with a grin. “See what you did?”
“Rule number one,” he smiled. “Know your opponents weak spots.”
“Uh huh, and where’s yours?” You smirked as you started to tickle his rib cage. 
Dean moved swiftly and pinned your hands down on the ground with a smirk. Your breath caught in the moment, with your chest rising and falling deeply to catch it. He stared down at you as you looked up to him. The feeling that arose was different, and by the looks on his face he was feeling it as well. He paused himself for a moment, before leaning down and pressing his lips onto yours gently. An act that surprised you at first, but it felt right. Your first kiss. Your first real kiss was happening with Dean on a dirty garage floor, but you didn’t care. You found yourself returning it, moving your lips along with his, opening them just a little as you felt his tongue glide across them. You didn’t really know what to do. It’s not like this was really covered in health class, but you glided your tongue with his, moving them together in sync. It felt smooth, sending a warm feeling down your body as you felt his hand now touching your face, bringing you closer and deeper into his.
“Whoa,” you heard Sam gasp aloud, causing you to both break away and look over at him in panic.
“What the hell Sam!” Dean yelled.
“So that’s what you two are doing,” Sam smiled. “You two are making out every night!”
“Get out of here Sam before I kick your ass!” Dean yelled again.
“Whatever,” Sam rolled his eyes. “Just don’t let Bobby, dad, or her uncle catch you. They just called.” They’re coming back.”
“He’s coming back?” You sat yourself up, knocking Dean back a little in your action. “When?”
“They said they’d be here after school tomorrow,” Sam answered. “So that probably means we will be moving on too.”
Dean sighed out loud and nodded as he stood up, shaking the dirt off of him before extending his hand to you to help you up. As you got up you felt the mixed feelings of dread and excitement. You were going to see your uncle again, but at the same time you were now probably going to lose Dean. You stared down to the ground as you followed the boys back into the house. Dean instructing Sam to keep his mouth shut about what he had seen. You went upstairs to your room, trying to ignore Dean’s glances as you shut the door and flopped down on the bed. The feeling of his lips still lingered on yours as you gentled touched them with your fingers. What was going to happen next?
You awoke from your deep sleep as you heard the sound of your door opening. Glancing at the clock it was just a little after midnight. You sat up and turned to see Dean walking in with a solemn look on his face. 
“Hey, didn’t mean to wake you,” he apologized.
“Yes you did,” you smiled in the dark room, the only light peaking through the curtains from the moon outside. 
“I just thought, since tomorrow we might be parting ways, maybe we should talk about what happened?” He nervously replied.
You nodded as he sat down on the edge of your bed, you sitting up straighter and pulling the covers up to your chest. You could see the hesitation in his face, unsure of what exactly to say. The silence was lingering, only growing with anticipation of what he was about to say fiercely within you. 
“I’m sorry Y/N,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.”
 You were confused for a moment, but you laid your hand on top of his in reassurance.
“Hey, it’s alright,” you replied softly. “It was nice. Unexpected of course, but I don’t regret it.”
“I’ve just, I don’t know,” he paused again. “I just was trying to keep you away from knowing how I felt about you.”
“How do you feel about me?”
“I like you Y/N,” he confessed as he looked at you. “I mean, it's hard not to. You’re someone who genuinely cares about people, and I didn’t want you to get hurt when I had to leave again.”
“What makes you so sure that you will have to leave?” you asked. “I mean, maybe they’ll let us stay here for a little longer.”
“Doubt it,” he sighed. “You don’t know my dad. He won’t care. The only thing that matters to him is taking care of Sam and finding what killed my mom.”
“But what about you Dean? I’m sure he cares about you.”
Dean shook his head, you catching the sight of a lingering tear fall down his face. 
“I was happy once before, not too long ago. I had a semi normal life away from them with someone I cared about, but he didn’t care and I couldn’t leave Sammy.”
“Dean,” you found yourself reaching for his face to look at you. You searched in his face to find whatever guilt he was holding back. “Tell me what happened.”
He sighed again as you dropped your hand down. His eyes searching for an easy way to tell you, possibly scared at your reaction.
“You know how Sam told you I had screwed up on a hunt? Well that isn’t true. I got myself in trouble and found myself at a boy’s reforming home. I got to go to school, do normal teenage things, and I had met someone there that I think I might have loved.”
You just found yourself nodding, although the last part hurt just a little, but you could tell it was still something he was still hurting from. 
“Anyways, my dad showed up after months even though he knew where I was the whole time and made me come back. He was angry and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Then of course I thought of Sam. I’ve been protecting that kid my whole life. I couldn’t walk away from him.”
“I understand,” you whispered. “But Dean, you do know that you can be happy again. No one knows what tomorrow will bring.” 
“How is it that you always know the right thing to say?” he chuckled softly.
“Because I’m awesome,” you smirked back with a soft laugh. 
“Yeah, well I’m going to get back to my room before Sammy realizes that I’ve left,” he said as he started to get up, but you grabbed his hand to stop him.
“If this is really possibly the last night I get to see you, I don’t want you to go,” you confessed as you let your grip fall. “I don’t know exactly whatever it was that I felt earlier, but I don’t want to give it up yet.”
Dean looked deeply into your eyes as he moved to crawl under the covers with your assistance of pushing them back to allow him access. He laid his head down on the pillow next to you, gazing at you, moving the hair out of your face as you mirrored him. You nuzzled your face into his hand as he cupped your cheek. He was hesitant, but you moved your face closer to his. Biting your lip a little before you leaned in and felt his soft, full lips on yours once again. He followed your lead and before you knew it, you felt the same warmth as you did before now hitting harder as your lips moved together by the light of the moon. It was a feeling you never wanted to let go of as you pushed your lips on his harder. His hands now resting on you, one holding your head steady, the other caressing your hip. It tickled a little, the way his hand touched your skin, making you moan just a little, wanting more. His lips moved from yours, trailing along your skin and down to your neck as his hand moved from your hip to your heaving chest. Through your clothes you could feel him grasping your breast gently, not wanting to be rough. You didn’t  know exactly what had pushed you in the moment, but you pulled away from him and lifted off your shirt to leave your chest expose to him. You wanted to feel his skin against yours as he watched you with wonderment in his eyes before crashing his lips against yours once more. His hands were now all over you, feeling every inch of you as you continued. His lips moving to discover new spots on your body and the pleasure-filled reactions they ensued from you. It could have been only minutes that it continued, but it felt like forever until the kisses and touches started to slow down. Dean looked into your eyes, as he pulled away with a deep breath. 
“I think I love you Y/N,” he confessed. “And I don’t want us to do anything that neither of us are ready for just because we may never see each other again.”
“I think I might love you too Dean,” you smiled back. “And I agree with the one part, but I know this; we will see each other again. When we’re both ready, perhaps a bit older, things will be different.”
“You always know just the right thing to say,” he smiled again as he pulled you into his arms to lay your head on his chest.
“Goodnight Dean,” you yawned as you nuzzled into him. 
Dean placed a kiss on top of your head, not allowing himself to fall asleep right away. He wanted to hold on to this feeling just a little longer as well because tomorrow, he knew it was all going to change. 
“Jesus fucking christ,” you heard Bobby yell out loud, snapping you awake in an instant.
Dean sprung himself up from the bed, leaving you to cover yourself up with the blanket. A look of fear and panic in his eyes.
“What the hell is going on here?” Bobby demanded. 
Dean held out his hand to try and calm him down, but it was not working.
“Bobby, it isn’t what it looks like,” Dean pleaded. “We didn’t do anything. We were just talking and I fell asleep.”
“Her shirt was off, and you just fell asleep?” Bobby looked at Dean with disappointment. “Do I look like an idjit to you? Now the two of you get dressed, in your own rooms. You have school and then your dad and your uncle will be here after.”
“You’re not going to tell them are you?” you asked in a panic. 
Bobby glared at the fear in Dean’s and your eyes as you awaited his answer.
“I’m supposed to be watching the two of you, and Dean you know better,” he glared at him hard. “I for sure ain’t saying shit to them. But you listen to me, this stops now or so help me I will kick both of your asses into next Tuesday.”
“Yes sir,” you both nodded in reply, feeling a little sense of relief. 
“Now get dressed,” Bobby stated as he walked out the door. 
You took in a deep breath and exhaled out as you turned to Dean who was almost out the door. 
“Dean?”
“You heard him, get dressed,” Dean said gruffly before walking out, shutting the door behind him. 
Dean hadn’t said anything else to you as you silently ate your breakfast and on your way to school. He was completely ignoring you now, even when you tried to speak, he chose to go the other way or say something to someone else. How he was acting was hurt, but you tried to just let it go, knowing he probably was just protecting himself and you from what awaited when you walked through the door after school. 
You saw your uncle and John sitting there waiting with Bobby. None of their faces really looked happy. 
“Dad-“ you heard Sam say as he walked in behind you.
“Time to pack your bags boys,” he instructed. “We’re moving on.”
“Yes sir,” you heard Dean state as he started for the stairs.
“Where are you going?” You asked out loud, making them all look at you in disbelief that you would even question what was happening. 
“Say goodbye to Sam and Dean, Y/N,” Danny stated as he stood up and gave you a small hug. “It’ll be awhile before you see them again.”
“This is bullshit,” you exclaimed. “Why do any of them, any of us have to go anywhere? What to live in the back of a car or a crappy motel, not knowing if any of you will ever come back?”
“Danny, settle down that girl there,” John advised.
“No, fuck you, ya prick,” you spat out, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. “They’re happy here, we all are. Bobby may not be our family, but he’s been here. He is at least trying to give us a normal life. Why can’t you just leave us alone?”
You felt guilty after hearing your words leave your mouth, as you looked up to your uncle. He had tried to be there, he just couldn’t. You now realized why he had brought you here in the first place. He knew he couldn’t do everything you needed. He was really trying to give you the life you deserved. 
“I’m… I’m sorry,” you cried to your uncle before you ran out the door.
You plopped yourself down on the ground, tears flowing down your face. You heard the sound of gravel moving under someone’s steps, but you didn’t flinch. 
“That was some speech you gave in there,” John’s rough voice stated as he sat himself down next to you. “I can see you’ve really become attached to my boys and this place.”
You just nodded your head, feeling anger and resentment towards the man next to you.
“Me too,” he confessed. “That’s why they’re coming with me.”
You looked at him baffled, not understanding why he was even talking to you after what you just said.
“Your uncle is a strong man. One of the best guys I’ve ever known. He is doing right by you in letting you stay. I’m not as strong,” he sighed. “I need them around. I look at them and on my weakest days I can see my Mary in their faces. It’s what keeps me going as I try to figure out what happened to her.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I feel like everything has been sugar coated for you for probably way too long,” he replied. “What happened to her, what happened to your parents, well someone has to stop it.”
“My parents…”
“We’re not sure if it’s the same thing, but we sure as hell won’t stop until we find it and kill it,” he answered back. “I know it’s a tough life for all of you kids, but you’re getting older now. You should know. Dean, he has been in this for so long, he knows what is expected. Sam, well although I’d like to keep him out of it, this has been his whole life. This is just what happens. You say your goodbyes and move on.”
“I still don’t understand.”
“You will,” he smiled. 
You both heard the door of the house swing open and shut, Dean walking out with a green duffel bag with Sam behind him. He paused as he looked at you both, unsure of what was happening. John looked over at you and Dean staring at each other, as Dean put his head down and helped Sam into the car. 
“They’ll be alright Y/N,” John stated, making you turn your head to him. “And so will you.”
He got up from his spot and brushed the dirt off of him as he walked towards his sleek black car.
“You boys all set?” He asked. 
Dean nodded as he stood there with the car door open, looking at you with sadness in his eyes. John turned to see you doing the same as he opened up the drivers door.
“Let’s get a move on it,” he said as he sat himself inside.
Dean looked down again, before looking back to you. You mouthed the word ‘goodbye’ as he nodded and got inside the car. The trail of dust they had left behind took minutes to disappear, but as it went down slowly and was gone, you knew they were now as well.
John’s words with everything that had happened replayed in your head. ‘You will’ he said, and at that moment, you hadn’t realized or known just how true that really was.
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