#I AM THROWING ROSES AT YOUR WONDERFUL PERFORMANCE

[reallyromealone]

Title: ducky

Fandom: hazbin hotel

Pairing: Lucifer x reader

Warnings: reader is Jessica rabbit coded, make reader, sexual themes, reader hates Valentino, softcore nsfw, crack treated seriously, Lucifer is a simp, reader cross dresses, reader wears lipstick, the word daddy

Notes: the amount of rewrites boy howdy

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

After every show, (name) had gifts waiting from fans.

Flowers, expensive jewelry and other things were always there but one thing always stuck out to him, an adorable rubber duck dressed like him, wearing an adorable version of the show he did previously. Todays was his pink dress, the jazz singer loved cross dressing and it seemed his admirer noticed every detail of his outfits... It had him swooning! "Oh the note!" He said looking for the rose gold paper with black ink, another joke that was corny and wishing him a good day... Oh he was so wonderful!

It was the best part of his day, really it was.

Before this, his eternity was always so drab... Singing his songs and nothing of interest happening.

"It's time" one of his security guards said seriously and (name) nodded, placing the duck in his suit pocket before leaving with the men and out the back area of the club where the limo was waiting for him.

Not before catching eyes with the one person be despised and was sadly obsessed with him, Valentino smirked as he stepped out of the limo across the street as (name) got into his own faster, not wanting to deal with him especially after a performance. He couldn't stand that moth! The demon had been obsessed with (name) for years along with his little picture box friend, he remembered when they sent him molds of their erections! Disgusting!

(Name) Made sure his driver left faster, not wanting to deal with that man any more than he needed to.

"Your father requested your presence" the driver said to (name) who looked passive "what for?" He asked as a smile found its way in his face as the driver explained about some project the demon was partaking in and wanted (name)s help, the jazz demon excited to see what was taking all his father's time these days "then let's go see, shall we?"

(Name) Was not expecting some hotel on the edge of town "Hazbin hotel?" He mumbled curiously as he walked into the hotel, his driver going on his break and (name) wasn't expecting his father to be arguing with a small blond man "papa?" He asked with a passive Expression, where Alastor smiled (name) kept passive "(name)! There you are!" Alastor said dismissing the other immediately to walk to his son "how was your show little one?" He asked his son who let out a soft huff, amused "it was quite well, what's this shindig?" He gestured to the group of people and his dad grinned.

"I have someone for you to meet"

Everyone knew who (name) was, he was on every billboard across pentagram city and Angel dust knew how obsessed Vox and Valentino were with him, throwing tantrums whenever their wooing attempts went south.

But what they didn't know was that (name) was Alastors son.

"Wait son?! Sinners can't procreate?" Charlie asked curiously as Alastor laughed robotically "he was my son when I was alive, sadly I died when he was little--"'--and I was raised by grandma!" (Name) Continued and they were curious on how (name) was in hell but decided not to prod on that and now that they looked at them, they could see the resemblances.

Height being a main one, (name) just a bit shorter than his dad.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all, now why am I here?" He asked his father curiously and the radio demon grinned wider "well you see, we need someone to notice this place and what better than the most popular jazz singer in this place!" Alastor said merrily and (name) raised an eyebrow but sighed "I will on a condition" Charlie was vibrating with excitement as she nodded "whatever you want!"

"I'm looking for someone, I don't know who they are but I have a few clues" (name) pulled out the notes and the duck from his pockets "this person botherin' ya?" Husk asked suspiciously and (name) shook his head "quite the opposite actually!" Charlie and Alastor looked at each other and then the rubber duck in realization as Lucifer looked increasingly uncomfortable.

"Dad, is that your duck?" (Name) Drew his attention to the now panicking fallen angel who looked back at (name) stressed out "I think we should talk" (name) said to the blond man who followed nervously, the two going off somewhere as everyone processed what just happened.

"I can expla--" (name) stopped him with a kiss, gently holding Lucifer's face and his thumbs stroking his cheekbones before pulling back "I uh, I don't understand?" Lucifer said dumbly and (name) grinned "I never got a chance to tell you how my day was, awful rude doll~" he whispered to Lucifer and smiled at the smudged red lipstick from his performance on Lucifer's lips "s-so does this mean...?"

"Oh darling, I'm not gonna let you go... But I gotta ask, what's your name? Or should I just call you ducky?" (Name) Teased the other who looked incredibly flustered "maybe baby? Or daddy?" He teased and Lucifer was deeply confused at how this walking sex symbol was related to fucking Alastor but the kiss he was being pulled back into made him forget it all.

"They have been there awfully long" Charlie fretted and Angel dust snorted "he's related to smiles over there, god knows what's happening"

"I'm gonna check on them" she said nervously and Alastor followed, fatherly instincts kicking in as they went to the room the two wandered off too, hearing gasps and grunts and the sound of something knocking over. In a panic Charlie opened the door and Angel dust couldn't hold his laughter at Alastor and Charlie's horrified faces at the scene before them.

(Name) On-top of Lucifer with his suit half off his body and Lucifer was no better with an exposed chest and unbuttoned pants connected to (names) full lack of pants, Lucifer sporting Hickey's and red lipstick all over his body.

"DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM?!" Lucifer was exasperated as the two quickly put themselves together and Charlie was traumatized at the fact she saw her dad... Like that.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x male reader #lucifer x reader #Lucifer x male reader #male reader #x male reader

[bengiyo]

Step By Step Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we met my new favorite Gay in Pat, and the biggest man we've ever seen in BL in Jeng. Pat is a new employee in the digital department of a large company, and he seems to get a lot of the shit jobs. Jeng is their new manager, and may be the son of the company owner. Pat is going to have beef with his superior, Ying, who tends to thrust her work on him. Pat is so gay and definitely attracted and attractive to Jeng. I'm excited to see where this goes.

Love it. Jeng has taken control of the department because he wants to keep the department viable and keep everyone's jobs. They all hatin' on him and he's got their backs.

I am not someone who does good work with people hovering over me while also under time pressure.

Throwing someone under the bus in a meeting like this generally just makes everyone look bad. I totally get Pat sniping back at her, even if that's also a bad look.

Pat was legit about to swing on this dude for haranguing him.

Pat crying in a stall after being berated repeatedly is so real. Pent up stress from feeling disrespected will do that.

They're literally in a meeting about how they need to work together more, and are cheering because they think Pat will be reprimanded or fired.

They're using the audio really well to keep us informed of Pat's current mental state.

I like Jeng getting Pat out from under his seniors to work on a new project.

There goes that energy. They're still being catty at lunch.

It was a genuine relief to see Pat work successfully with Nan on his presentation. It's amazing how quickly people bounce back when you treat them with professional respect and courtesy.

Do these other folks have nothing better to do than worry about what Pat is up to?

I think Jeng's feedback on the PowerPoint is all valid, but because Pat doesn't really have a holistic vision of his role none of it is connecting for him. He just heard that he's still doing a bad job.

Also, I feel like Jeng should talk to Nan about rumors and not Pat.

UP POOMPAT!!!!! WELCOME BACK!

I don't know what Put and Pat had before, but that was awkward as hell.

"I always have to be dramatic." Me too, Ae. She seems suspicious about Put.

I like sending yourself flowers to tamp down on rumors.

Curious that Pat trusts Nan enough with the fact that he's gay, even though he (very understandably) doesn't want to come out at work.

I'm loving the way Pat's professional life keeps clashing with things in his private life. I suspect Put wanted to be closeted as his star rose, and it became a breaking point for him and Pat. Now he unexpectedly runs into him giving a presentation at a work event.

I'm wondering where Pat went when he left Thailand.

Pat should not have gone rogue in this meeting. You don't blindside your superior like that.

I wish they'd let Pat beat the shit out of this guy. He keeps fucking with Pat and needs to taste some fists.

Jeng has a good seme stance.

Jeng does not seem to deal well with all of these emotions. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to appreciate how worn out Pat is by this hostile working environment.

Hey, now, Pat, don't break your laptop because you're mad. How many times do I have to tell y'all to break your enemy's shit and not your own??

I like Poppy's character. They probably shouldn't be this trashed doing a performance interview, but this scene is surprisingly fun.

I'm excited for the fallout of this peer review.

This show is really fantastic so far. It's been nice having a workplace show that feels grounded in the workplace as the primary setting and as the source of most of the complications and obstacles. I also really like that Pat feels gay in a recognizable world context. I also got to see Up today, and he looked so sad with his yearning after Pat.

#step by step #step by step meta #thai bl #BL series #Ben watches

[heart-shaped-horns]

THE UNIVERSE IS YOUR STAGE- PERFORM! AND DONT WORRY, WE’RE ALL HERE FOR THE SHOW. 🐩🪭💋🍒💄🍎♥️

PATIENT ZERO: PECAN

*bubble gum pops* HELLO AGAIN tumblr nation…it’s your favorite truckstop whore in the flesh.. nyeah………ANYWAYS. For those who haven’t come to know me my names pecan and I run a church (my blog) where we smoke newports and attend sermons (whatever bullshit posts I have to give) PLEASE! Make yourselves at home- the body of Christ is a gift that keeps on giving.

Specimen Info:

-My name is pecan, and I also sometimes go as pecanpie. Other aliases include: Cherry Ferry Fantasia. Choose wisely how you refer to me- or don’t, I don’t even exist!

-I’m 19 and female, you can use whatever pronouns when referring to me, but I usually go by she/her 🪭🪭🪭

-ADHD

-aroace, with a hint of bisexuality.

-My hobbies include: drawing, writing (though I rarely ever do finish my pieces let alone publish them) collecting worthless garbage, listening to music and blowing my eardrums out, being an eternal pain in the ass to deal with, thrifting, sitting on porches, smoking winstons, masquerading as a sane individual, dressing up, and trying out new things because I am an avid dopamine chaser. woohoo!

Things I like: Pretentious media, throwing pitchforks at rich priests, consumerism, otome games, douma, buddhism, echo rose, religious studies, args, reaching divinity, shitty manga, maximalism in every sense, bedazzled stuff, money, getting tacky nails, the roaring 20’s, 1950’s femme fashion, old era aesthetics, boutique shops, leopard print, grandma couches, pathetic wet sop characters and a lot more.

-I have two cats, Mochi and Waffles. The bloodline ends with yours truly.

Fandoms I’m currently active in; Obey Me! Shall We Date, Demon Slayer, and Stephanie Lawson Stevens. I may consider writing for the first two, but I won’t set that in stone yet.

Movies I like: Pink Flamingos, No Country For Old Men, Helter Skelter, Pulp Fiction, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, Girl Interrupted, Valerie and Her Week of Wonders, Spun, Gummo, Last Night in Soho, Fruit of Wonder, Elephant (2003) - will be updated the more I get my hands on anything new that tickles my fancy.

My taste in music: I’m pretty versatile when it comes to what I prefer, so it could range from bimbo-pop to classical music. Anything that sounds good to me I like. I mostly listen to 50’s housewife songs and lady Gaga, though.

-I’m a big fan of indie art and surrealism. Filmmaking as well. Shaye Saint John and Mouchette.org are a few of my favorites.

-I like mortuary work and autopsies. I hold the death industry in high regards- not everyone is willing to work with corpses.

-huge GIGANTIC douma fan. anything and everything douma related I will not hesitate to engage with, he’s my little guy.

- heart sunglasses ambassador (this is my trademark) ❤️

-Polka dot prints and faux fur are resounding yesses.

-You know Florence? (If you get the reference.)

-I think vintage pill cases are lovely.💋

-I have the response time of a limp dick. I either respond in less than a second or only after 3 business months.

-I’ve been working on my new oc line on and off for a few months now, called FEAR & LOATHING in JERUSALEM. artblock is a massive bitch, but stuff is in progress.

Anyways if you’re a terrible human being feel free to block me, you are not welcome onto my blog thank you very much xoxo (transphobes homophobes ableists you know who you are)

GOT COMPLAINTS? CONTACT ME AT 1-666-JERUSALEM-CRACK-SHACK! Make sure to leave me a message. Business hours only!

🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒MASTERLIST: IN THE WORKS? 🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

#pecanpie #introductory

[sweetestofchaos]

BTS Scenario where...You Preform Doja Cat’s ‘Need To Know’ For His Birthday

☟ Hyung Line ☟   

Backstory: You wanted to do something different, something special and surprise your boyfriend for his birthday. The guys were throwing a huge party for him at the top of the HYBE building and you figured you would do something bold. With the help of a few people, you came up with the idea to cover Doja Cat’s ‘Need To Know’ and preform it on stage while dressed up just for him.

You disappear to get ready for your performance and he’s looking for you, asking everyone if they have seen you around. The lights change color to a pale yellow and his friends grab him, dragging him up onto the stage to sit down. He’s confused but sits on the stool and looks around noticing that the stage has been decked out to look like a saloon from an old western movie. Music starts to play, and your voice is heard before he can see you.

a/n: this was a request from my dear @thickemadame​ I am so freaking sorry that it took me this long to work on. I hope you enjoy it and the other parts to come.

warnings: nothing too crazy. pretty light in terms of sexiness...strong language so it’s rated Teen!

▹ Maknae Line ◃

Seokjin - Seokjin didn’t know where to look, your tits or your ass. You looked wonderful in that leather cowgirl get up and he wondered how hard it would be to take off. As you danced around on stage, Seokjin didn’t take his eyes off you and the moment you parked your ass in his lap, he threw his head back and moaned. God, this was torture! He knew better than to touch, so for now, he let you do as you pleased.

I just can't help but be sexual (whoa) Tell me your schedule (yeah)

Yoongi - As you walked out onto the stage dressed as a cowgirl, Yoongi was confused. Until he listened to the lyrics of the song and it dawned on him. Oh. Oooooh...you were gonna get when the two of you got back home. The way you rolled your hips hand Yoongi licking his lips and settling back into his chair, he was gonna enough this, very much.

Just sayin' I'm flexible (I will) I do what I can to get you off (I will) Might just fuck him with my makeup on (I will)

Namjoon - Namjoon couldn’t believe what he was seeing. That leather crop top did wonders for your chest and the way your ass looked in those shorts...this was like a dream come true. The lyrics only added to the lust filled thoughts going through his mind as you carded your fingers through his hand and yank his head back to stare into your eyes. He smiled and licked his lips waiting on your next move.

We could do it to your favorite song (yeah, ay) Take a ride into the danger zone

Hoseok - He should have known you were up to something the moment you were gone from his side for longer than five minutes. Sitting at the bar, all Hoseok could do was watch as you strutted out in those tiny black leather shorts that he loves so much. God...he needed to keep it together before he popped a boner in front of everyone. The mic was part of a headset, so you were able to use your hands and the moment your nails kissed Hoseok’s skin, goosebumps rose to the surface and he was whipped. Looking at you was all he could as you shook your ass and sang such filthily lyrics in his ears. 

Tell me what's your kink, gimme the dick Spank me, slap me, choke me, bite me (ew) Uh, wait, I can take it (ah)

#soc bts #request 33 #bts scenarios #bts x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #jung hoseok #min yoongi #kim taehyung #park jimin #jeon jungkook #need to know #bts hyung line #exqueuese me

[howlingday]

Goodwitch: Thank you, Miss Xiao Long, for that inappropriate retelling of The Lion, The Witch, and The Studmuffin. Next, we have Jaune Arc of Team JNPR, who will sing a song he wrote for us.

Yang: Heh, this should be good.

Weiss: It better not be about me again.

Blake: Anything would be better that Yang's performance.

Yang: Hey!

Ruby: Go, Jaune!

Ren: Has Jaune been practicing with his guitar?

Pyrrha: (Nods) He's been practicing almost every day.

Nora: Ooh, I'm so excited!

Port: And rousing performance from all of our students!

Oobleck: This should be the first of the final three acts.

Ozpin: Then let us enjoy these last few moments.

Jaune: H-Hey, everyone! (Clears his throat) Uh, I was going to write a song about Oum and Professor Ozpin, but I thought I'd get in trouble for that, so, uh, here's a song about someone I read about. (Throws hood on, Voice hoarses, Strums)

Ever since the Brothers left, I have been here, To spread hate and violence, and kill all that you hold dear~.

I am the evil, the lost princess of a forgotten time, My name has been greatly hidden, but it is one you cannot simply hide~!

(Throws off his hood, Reveals long, white hair wig with colorful bows and ribbons)

MY NAME IS SALEM~!

Ozpin: (Spits out his coffee, Everyone else laughs)

Jaune: (Voice high-pitched) Hi, everybody! Uh, let me tell you a little bit about myself.

My friends call me the Grimm Queen, I am a Virgo born, My turn ons are cuddle sessions while eating human scorn~!

I got little Grimm nails, and little Grimm feet, Little Grimm eyes to help a little Grimm see, and a little Grimm dress to hide what you wanna see, I'm Salem~!

Jaune: Woohoo! Salem Arc for some, I don't know...

My true name is unknown to you, but you can call me Sal, I love to watch the news, then go raise a little Hell~

Then I'll take a bubble bath, and drink some champagne, to try to wash off those acts so inhumane, and then I make a toast to me~

Jaune: (Raises his hand like holding a glass) Hey, here's to life, so full of paaaiiiintednails, My name is Salem~!

To carry on my evil ways, I had myself a son. Last thing I heard him say was "I'm attending at Beacooooooooon~!"

I'm in every Achieve Men album, I'm in all the White Fang's rants, I'm the reason Jacques Schnee could even have a fucking chance~!

Jaune: (Chuckles, Audience rolling around laughing)

And if I wanna steal your soul, just know that I'm gonna, Don't care if yoj fight or if you're a runna, and fuck Ruby Rose, I don't care about your silva, My name is Salem~!

Jaune: (Strums softly) Once upon a time, there was a girl named Salem... (Stops strumming) Which is fucking bullshit because name one girl with anything like these~? (Pulls up his hoodie, Shows off him wearing a black bra with two cantaloupes) It's like, Oh my god~! (Pulls down his hoodie, Strums last few notes) Feed! The! Grimm! (Crowd cheers, He stands up and leaves)

Ruby/Yang: (Laughing)

Weiss: (Covering her mouth) That buffoon!

Blake: (Smiling) At least it wasn't about you, right?

Jaune: How was that?

Ren: Fantastic performance.

Pyrrha: Truly wonderful!

Nora: You stole my bra!

Jaune: No, I asked, and you said you didn't care.

Nora: No, you don't get it! It has-

Jaune: Top drawer of your bedside dresser.

Nora: Huh?

Jaune: That's where it is.

Nora: Oh, okay... I still want it back, though.

Jaune: Okay, Nora.

Port: A rousing performance!

Oobleck: Odd that he would choose a forgotten princess turned monster story to turn into a singing comedy act.

Ozpin: Yes, it was. (Thinking) Salem's were much nicer.

#rwby #glynda goodwitch #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #nora valkyrie #lie ren #pyrrha nikos #jaune arc #peter port #bartholomew oobleck #ozpin #salem #stephen lynch

[friendlyneighborhoodborg]

Julerose AUs

No matter where, in any universe, I'm yours.

These two background gays and their wholesome vibes are almost single-handedly keeping me in the miraculous fandom, I swear to god. You could put these two in anything that isn't Miraculous and it would be all the better for it.

Such is the nature of many conversations I've had with @le-chiggin-nuggie over the years, coming up with AUs that these two could (and rightfully should) be the stars of. I'm posting some of our favorites up here in the hopes it will intrigue and inspire- we've had a lot of fun coming up with them, and writing little bits for them, and I want to share that with you guys here.

Description of each AU under the cut:

Starting on top left and going clockwise...

Carnaval Clandestin. This is an idea of mine that I'm currently writing a full story for. I've seen a few of circus-ey type AUs, and I am absolutely trash for spooky carnival stuff, so I decided I'd throw my hat in the ring. These performers may lean heavily into shock value and creepy stuff, but it's all in good fun. They don't mean any harm, really. Juleka in this AU is the mysterious head clown, nicknamed "Reflekta." She has shapeshifting abilities and can look like anyone else, and takes no small amount of pleasure in using her abilities to scare the living hell out of patrons. Rose, or "Princess Rose," as she likes to be called, is a budding alchemist who sells novelty and remedial potions out of her snake-oil caravan.

Pirate and Fairy. This is what you get from trying to overanalyze Peter Pan, a stupid book which has no cohesion and makes even less sense than Wonderland. Pirates and fairies are a fantastic combo, however, and since Juleka's mom is literally a pirate and Rose acts like she was pulled out of Cinderella, that's what this picture is. I just drew a simple, generic action scene, no actual story behind it. This just seems like the logical conclusion for a high fantasy or DnD AU, but anyone can do what they want with this. Nugg's also suggested Rose as a mermaid, I know Princess!Rose is popular, and all of them work just as well.

Teen Titans Crossover. This is a favorite of Nugg's, putting Rose in the shoes of Starfire and Juleka in the cloak of Raven. Pretty self-explanatory here. Others may have their rosters, our reasoning is such: Kim is Beast Boy and Max is Cyborg, and sometimes they're paired off as well. Nathaniel takes Robin's role, Alix is X, Chloe's Terra and she LIVES, Marinette and Adrien are Jinx and Kid Flash, and everybody else is everybody else.

Death and the Vampyre. This one came about after listening to too much Steam Powered Giraffe. "Delilah Morreo's" throwaway line about the eponymous vampire queen being friends with Death, coupled with familiarity with Discworld's interpretation of Death, led to this idea. Perhaps Juleka is a vampire who's been stuck in her castle for hundreds of years, explaining her dated clothing. Perhaps Rose is the chipper "new" Death, who does the duty with pep and respect. They meet. Sitcom antics.

Angel. Nugg's idea, and a very interesting one. It's forbidden for celestial beings to fraternize with mortals... but that's not stopping Rose from playing favorites. A bit of good luck to brighten Juleka's gloomy day, perhaps, or some divine inspiration on her music. If she were only able to be seen by her... That's the setup, the rest is up to the prospective storyteller.

Different Heroes. Nugg's currently in the process of writing a story involving a full new set of Kwamis. Rose, or "Princess Oz," holds the Lion here whilst Juleka, "Corbeau," holds the Raven. Given how that last season ended, the side characters may need new kwamis anyway. And making Rose's new miraculous a crown and Juleka's a capelet? *chef's kiss* Immaculate.

Wonderful. Here's one we don't see around too often in any fandom- a crossover with Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Gotta love those classic madness vibes, and it's so old that which Wonderland you use is like a sliding scale from Disney Animation to American McGee. That, and I've been on a total Alice kick ever since I found the Royal Ballet production online, which everyone should watch at the earliest convenience.

Well, that's seven AU ideas to inspire art from everyone! Many thanks to @le-chiggin-nuggie for their contributions and for being an incredible fount of creative ideas. All these ideas are free to use or change however you want. And Happy Pride, everyone.

(Image Id: A circle of seven drawings depicting Juleka and Rose in each of the described AUs, surrounding a bubble which reads "In any universe, I am yours.")

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #miraculous fanart #julerose #juleka couffaine #rose lavillant #juleka x rose #fanfic prompts #ml #ml fanfic #ml fanart #ml au #miraculous au

[anonymousewrites]

There's a Beauty; There's a Beast Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Waltz of Emotions

            “I never imagined she’d say yes,” said Dazai. He paced up and down as a brush tried to tame his hair. He had already put on a formal outfit for the occasion. “She was just so kind, and she looked like the most beautiful woman in the world, I couldn’t help but ask if she wanted to have a date.”

            “It’s alright, Master,” assured Atsushi. “She said yes, that’s what matters.”

            “What matters is that there are only four petals left on the rose and they need to confess,” snapped Akutagawa. Atsushi elbowed, well, burned him lightly. “Fine, I guess enjoying your time is important to.” He huffed.

            “I feel like an idiot,” whined Dazai, throwing himself down on his chair dramatically. “How could she ever love me?”

            “You also wondered how you’d ever love her,” said Atsushi encouragingly. “And yet you do. I believe she feels the same. She is the one.”

            Dazai sat up and looked into his mirror. “Then what do I do? I want this night to be perfect for her.”

            “We have the perfect music and ambience prepared,” said Atsushi. He met Dazai’s gaze in the mirror. “You just need to look and act your best for her. Become a true prince for her.”

            “I am a prince.”

            “Well, acting like a charming one would be helpful,” said Kouyou. “You dance and dance, and when the moment’s right, you tell her how you feel. Then you can have a wonderful dinner together. It will be a romantic adventure.”

            “What is the right time to tell (Y/N)?”

            “I asked Maestro Chuuya how he and Akira confessed, and he said it just happened. He didn’t really plan for it; he was just caught up in the moment,” said Atsushi.

            “Just relax and enjoy your time with her,” advised Kouyou. “It will all fall into place.”

l

            (Y/N) admired herself in the mirror. The makeup was finished, and now she was ready for her date. She nearly didn’t recognize herself. It was so…royal and elegant a look compared to her peasant clothes.

            “Well, the curse didn’t take my fashion sense,” remarked Akira. If she had a proper face, she’d be smirking. “You’re absolutely stunning, darling.”

            “Really?” breathed (Y/N).

            Akira sighed. “You’re only doing a disservice to yourself when you don’t see yourself as beautiful when you are.”

            (Y/N) smiled and nodded. “Do you think everything’s going to work out?”

            “You mean you and Dazai? Yes, I do. You two make a lovely pair.” Her tone turned teasing. “Though, if I had a human form right now, I might take you out myself with how good you look.”

            (Y/N) chuckled. “I wonder how Chuuya would react. Kouyou mentioned you’re dating him.”

            “Well, if you and I run off together, he and Dazai would, so everyone would end up happy!”

            (Y/N) laughed again. Her anxieties lifted away as Akira cheered her up.

            “Now go out there and take his breath away,” commanded Akira. “All of my hard work can’t go to waste.” I wish I could be down there to perform…but the curse keeps me here. If you free us, I will sing for you forever. I will sing by my Chuuya’s side.

            Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) stood up and smooth the wrinkles in her dress. It was time.

l

            Dazai stood at the bottom of the stairs. He adjusted his dark suit. Golden thread woven in spiraling patterns sparkled in the light. His bandages were woven neatly around his marred skin. Gold earrings dangled from his ears, and gold bands were wound around his horns. Dazai straightened his back. After countless years, he felt like a prince. A true, good one, not the arrogant one he had been. Now, I await the woman I wish to make a princess.

            Summoned by the mere thought, (Y/N) stepped into the light at the top of the staircase. Dazai’s eyes widened at the sight before him. (Y/N) wore an emerald green gown that shimmered as she moved. A golden laurel wreath rested on her head while a similar one hung around her bare neck. She smiled at him and descended to his side. He held out a hand, and she took it. Dazai kissed his hand.

            “You’re beautiful,” he said. “You are the spring arriving after winter. You bring new life to my heart.”

            (Y/N) blushed. “Thank you. You look handsome yourself. I’m afraid I can’t be as poetic as you.”

            Dazai just smiled and extended a hand to the ballroom floor. “Shall we?”

            (Y/N) nodded, smiled, and curtsied; Dazai smiled and bowed. Dazai put one hand on her waist and held out the other. Music struck up around them. Kouyou sat on the side and sang what Akira had prepared for her. The pair began to dance across the floor.

(Kouyou) “Tale as old as time, True as it can be, Barely even friends, Then somebody bends unexpectedly, Just a little change, Small to say the least, Both a little scared, Neither one prepared, Beauty and the Beast.”

            Dazai twirled (Y/N) around. Her dress swirled like a blooming tree. In Dazai’s eyes, she was a jewel of the earth.

(Kouyou) “Ever just the same, Ever a surprise, Ever as before, Ever just as sure, As the sun will rise.”

            Dazai lifted (Y/N) into the air. The candlelight caught her golden ornaments and shone. She is the light in my life.

(Kouyou) “Tale as old as time, Tune as old as song, Bittersweet and strange, Finding you can change, Learning you were wrong.”

            (Y/N) drew closer to Dazai, letting his arm slide around her waist intimately. Dazai dipped her before lifted her up and spinning. The candles dimmed until they looked like stairs shining from the heavens, specks of lights in inky blackness. A metaphor for Dazai’s change in luck the last week. He spun her out and back in, pulling her ever closer. (Y/N) leaned back. For a moment, she could hear his heartbeat. It thrummed with life and joy, a sentiment to their time together. (Y/N) smiled and continued the dance.

(Kouyou) “Certain as the sun, Rising in the east.”

            The waltz drew them towards the balcony doors.

(Kouyou) “Tale as old as time, Song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the Beast.”

            They paused before the doors, impossibly close and yet not close enough. (Y/N) wanted to pull him to her and kiss him. Dazai wanted the same. Yet neither was certain of the other’s feelings. While their waltz ended, their feelings continued to dance and spin around each other. Dazai opened the doors and escorted her through as the song ended.

(Kouyou) “Tale as old as time, Song as old as time, Beauty and the Beast.”

            Dazai stopped at the end of the balcony. Below them, candles lit the courtyard in a spiderweb of ice and light. The moon hung low in the sky.

            “Dazai…” said (Y/N), looking up at him. “This was incredible. Thank you.”

            “For you, it was the least I could do.” Dazai held her hands. “I would give you the world if you asked me.”

            “I don’t want the world.” (Y/N) brought his hands up and kissed them.

            “What do you want?” asked Dazai. (Y/N) paused and looked to the side for a moment. Dazai’s eyes softened. “Your father…your freedom…” He sighed. “…I can’t do this…I won’t keep you unhappy.”

            “W-What?” (Y/N)’s eyes widened.

            “I won’t keep you from your home, your father. I know you can’t be happy without him. I ripped you from the people that made you happy, that made you feel loved. I took away the freedom you love.” Dazai let go of her hands and stepped back. “I won’t hold you prisoner any longer.” He reached over to a table on the side and picked up his mirror. “If you ask this to show you someone, someplace, it will.” He handed it to her. “Please remember me.”

            “Dazai…,” said (Y/N), stunned.

            Dazai kissed her forehead. “I want you to find happiness in freedom.” He pressed the mirror into her hand. “Go on. Look at the home you can return to.” He angled it to her face. “Show her father,” whispered Dazai to the mirror.

            Its surface shimmered. In the looking glass, Fukuzawa was being forced through a crowd by armed men. He fought against them, but it was no use against a whole swarm of people.

            “Father!” exclaimed (Y/N), horrified. “They’re hurting him!”

            “You have to go, now. You can help him,” urged Dazai. He guided her head to meet his gaze. “Go.”

            With a tearful look into her eyes, she nodded. (Y/N) turned and fled. Dazai walked to his tower bedroom, shedding his ornate coat for a simple, loose shirt underneath. He ripped the golden jewelry from his ears and horns. He passed the rose, down to two petals, and settled on his balcony.

            “How did it go?” asked Atsushi.

            “It certainly seemed to be going well,” remarked Kouyou.

            “I let her go.” Dazai wouldn’t lie or give them false hope.

            “What?” questioned Akutagawa. “Why?”

            “She deserved to be happy, deserved to be free,” said Dazai.

            “You love her,” breathed Kouyou.

            “Th-Then why aren’t we human?” asked Atsushi.

            “Because the Master’s right.” Kouyou looked down. “Without freedom, she could never truly love him…Not completely. It would not be freely given.”

            “She may come back, though,” said Atsushi hopefully. “It would be her own free will. It would be true love then.”

            “Yes, it would,” said Kouyou.

            “But she can’t come back,” snapped Dazai. “Her father is in danger, and she should care for him. It would make her happy to have him. And I gave her freedom, something she longs for. She won’t give it up.” He looked at the rose, the same green as her dress. His heart clenched “Even if she did return, it’s too late.” A petal fell. “We only have one left.” He looked out into the night. Behind him, the dejected servants walked away.

(Dazai) “I was the one who had it all, I was the master of my fate, I never needed anybody in my life, I learned the truth too late, I’ll never shake away the pain, I close my eyes, but she’s still there.”

            He could see (Y/N) before him, rambling about the latest book she finished, the spark of life in her eyes.

(Dazai) “I let her steal into my melancholy heart, It’s more than I can bear.”

            He walked out onto his balcony and looked down. Below, he watched the green of (Y/N)’s dress disappear into the night on Philip’s back.

(Dazai) “Now I know she’ll never leave me, Even as she runs away, She will still torment me, Calm me, Hurt me, Move me, Come what may!”

            Dazai ascended into a spiraling tower. A part of him told him to never stop running or else the pain of (Y/N)’s departure would overwhelm him.

(Dazai) “Wasting in my lonely tower, Waiting by an open door!”

            Out of the window, he saw a speck of lively green fading steadily in the darkness.

(Dazai) “I’ll fool myself she’ll walk right in, And be with me forevermore!”

            He slammed his hand against the stone beside him.

(Dazai) “I rage against the trials of love, I curse the fading of her light!”

            Dazai walked out between towers, gazing into the forest that swallowed the light in his life whole.

(Dazai) “Thought she’s already flown so far beyond my reach, She’s never out of sight, Now I know she’ll never leave me! Even as she fades from view! She will still inspire me, Be a part of everything I do, Wasting in my lonely tower, Waiting by an open door! I’ll fool myself she’ll walk right in.”

            He stood on the turret of the tallest tower, raging against the heavens above for the curse of monstrosity and the curse of love so deep he was willing to sacrifice his joy for her own.

(Dazai) “And as the long, long nights begin, I’ll think of all that might have been, Waiting here forevermore!”

#there's a will; there's a way #beauty and the beast #bsd x reader #dazai bsd #bsd #disney au #bsd au #au #dazai #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fic #bsd fanfic

[tipsycad147]

10 HERBS EVERY WITCH SHOULD HAVE

By Willow

While you don't need any tools, herbs, or crystals to perform witchcraft, there are some herbs that can enhance your spells and rituals greatly. There are more than a few herbs out there to choose from, so how do you figure out which ones you should keep on hand? Lucky for you, I have done the heavy lifting. Below is a list of 10 herbs every witch should have. Each of the herbs come with suggested alternatives, so if you are unable to find one them or you find the herb doesn't resonate with you, feel free to grab the alternative instead. Please note that the alternatives may not have the exact same magical properties as the original herb, but share many features in common. I suggest researching each to find what works best for your needs.

Mugwort: This is an absolute MUST have for any witch, especially hedgewitches, due to its unique properties. No other plant has a stronger connection to witchcraft than Mugwort. It is one of the most commonly used herbs in any spell or ritual making it the number one herb to have on hand. Mugwort aids in strengthening psychic powers, prophetic dreaming, and astral projection and can also be used for protection and healing. Use it during rune casting, tarot, palm, tea leaf reading, or any other form of divination to increase your psychic awareness. To learn more, read my Herbarium: Mugwort post. Suggested Alternative Herb: Marijuana or Tobacco or Skullcap or Wormwood. Sage: Of course, sage made the list. How could sage NOT be on the list? Sage is used in a variety of rituals and spells and is probably the most commonly used herb in witchcraft. There are several species of sage, but white or desert sage tend to be the go-to for most witches. However, wild desert and white sage are being harvested at alarming rates and are part of a closed culture and therefore not available for all witches. Use regular kitchen sage to cleanse and purify magical tools, runes, oracle cards, crystals, your home, you name it. Sage can also be used to banish negativity and attract positive energy and vibrations. Sage is also used to enhance learning, knowledge, and wisdom, and is believed to be an anti-aging elixir.  To learn more, read my Herbarium: Sage post.  Suggested Alternative Herb: Angelica or Bay or Dandelion Leaf. Bay: Bay leaves come from a shrub, often mistaken as a tree, from the Mediterranean regions of Europe. It is a very common staple in most spice cabinets, and its magical uses are just as versatile. It is often brewed in a tea to enhance clairvoyance and wisdom or induce prophetic dreaming. Bay is also wonderful for protection spells and purification rituals, making it as versatile as the crystal quartz. Some witches write wishes on bay leaves and burn them to help them manifest. Whatever you use bay for, it is a must-have in any witch's cabinet.  Suggested Alternative Herb: Angelica or Camphor or Sage. Rosemary: "Always throw spilled salt over your left should. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Add pepper to your mashed potatoes. Plant roses and lavender for luck. Fall in love whenever you can." If you haven't seen or read Practical Magic then this quote doesn't mean much to you, but if you have, you know exactly what I am talking about. Everyone else, FOR SHAME! Go correct the problem and come back when you are done. Rosemary is another staple to any witch's cabinet as well as most people's spice cabinet. It is used for protection, purification, healing, and love. As Sally said, plant it by your garden gate or front door to protect your garden/home and attract love. It works great with lavender as well. To learn more, read my Herbarium: Rosemary post. Suggested Alternative Herb: Frankincense Lavender: Of course next comes lavender. Plant it for luck, combine it with rosemary to attract love, burn it to bring peacefulness to your home, or place it under your pillow to aid in prophetic dreaming. Lavender is an extremely common herb and is used in a variety of magical rituals and spells. Furthermore, the medicinal properties abound, making it an important addition to your magical cabinet. To learn more, read my Herbarium: Lavender post. Suggested Alternative Herb: Rose or Chamomile. Clove: While I personally don't like cloves, they are commonly used in prosperity and luck spells, making them essential to have on hand. Furthermore, they can be burned to cleanse objects, people, or rooms and increase positive energy. Cloves are also used for protection and mental clarity. Because it is so versatile, many spells and rituals call for cloves and it is great to have on hand in case of a medical emergency such as a toothache! Suggested Alternative Herb: Chamomile or Lavender or Cinnamon. Cinnamon: Mmmm cinnamon. I do enjoy the smell, but not the artificially flavored treats like gum. Cinnamon is used to enhance spirituality, success, luck, and prosperity and can also be used in healing and protection rituals and spells. It is basically a go-to for most spell work, making it a wonderful addition to the list. Many witches will wear cinnamon or hang it in their homes, especially around Yule, to attract love, money, and prosperity and protect their home and body. Furthermore, cinnamon has great health benefits and is used in most herbal remedies to treat colds and coughs. Suggested Alternative Herb: Dill or Clove Dandelion: Of all the herbs on the list, I think dandelion is my favorite. It is bright, cheery, fragrant, and incredibly versatile. Furthermore, dandelions are one of the first flowers of spring, making them extremely important to bees. I don't know about you, but I have a thing for bees, and considering their current decline, allowing dandelions to grow in my yard is beneficial to everyone. Dandelion leaf can be used during divination practices, especially those involving the dead, as well as for healing, purification, and removing negativity from your home. The root is also used in divination and spirit calling. As a hedgewitch, dandelion is important to bridging the gap between our world and the spirit world.  Suggested Alternative Herb: Mint or Mullein or Rose Hips. Thyme: Thyme is another herb common in most kitchens due to its culinary uses, but it also is great for most magical workings. It attracts loyalty, affection, and good opinion from others, making it great for spells and rituals regarding relationships, especially new ones, and interviews. Furthermore, thyme can be used to attract good health, luck and money, banish negativity and purify your home. To learn more, read my Herbarium: Thyme post. Suggested Alternative Herb: Magnolia Flowers or Sweet Pea. Mint: To some, this may seem slightly odd to include on the list. Mint doesn't often appear in spells and rituals, but it should. Mint promotes energy, clears the mind increases communication, and stimulates the senses. These properties, which are well known and well documented, are why mint should play a bigger role in witchcraft. It is perfect for eating or smelling before performing magical workings to get you "in the mood." Mint also attracts money and business, draws in good spirits, and protects your home.  Suggested Alternative Herb: Oregano or Peppermint or Tangerine. So that is my list of 10 herbs I think every witch should have. Did I leave off an herb you use often? 

https://www.flyingthehedge.com/2016/05/10-herbs-every-witch-should-have.html

[lennyinlordran]

The Trolls of Revelation [Part 3]

Part 3 When Donna’s Anniversary rolled around, Donna waited at the party. Her Husband, James, was twiddling his thumbs.

“Oh, I wonder where that magician is… I hope you are paying her well.

“Oh, please. She was willing to Dance for free. I gave her 50$”

“Right… Tanie łyżwy.”

They waited. A total of twenty guests arrived. 8 parents, 12 children.

They had gathered in the backyard. When, from of the house, through the back door, a cauldron rolled on wheels, into the yard. Strange tendrils dragged after the pot, and trailed into the house.

A voice growled from inside the pot: “Вот, противник Божий” (Behold, the enemy of God!)

The guests turned to look at the cauldron. Two jets of fire shot from the pot, and curled into a helix of flame.

The jets dissipated, and a liquid shadow rose from Cauldron,

The darkness fell of of the figure in drips, to reveal Sasha, clad in a red and purple suit, coattails billowing behind her, and she shouted, “Fine day for love!”

She strode forward. 3 of the children were clutching their mums for comfort, 8 cheered. One snickered. Sasha looked at the Heckler.

“Hey, we got a skeptic. Listen. I’m going to read your mind. I’m going to throw a series of balls in the air, and you have to read each one. You ready?”

“Sure.”

Sasha pulled out some tennis balls with writing on them. She threw them each in the air.

“U… R… A… Scam.”

“Yes I am.” She Said, Jovially.

Sasha stopped juggling. “Now let’s read Donna’s Mind.”

“Fine” grunted Donna in annoyance.

Sasha resumed Juggling. “I… Ama… Care… N… Per… effect… D.”

Donna Clapped her hands over her mouth. James struggled to from laughing. The skeptic Laughed.

“All in good fun.”

Sasha then looked at another one of the kids. “I’m going to measure how lucky you are.”

“Okay!”

Sasha pulled out a pair of dice. “These are no ordinary die. They’re enchanted. I stole them from the prince of winter when the stars were young-”

A gust of icy wind blew the yard.

“And they can tell me how lucky you are.”

“Right.”

“Now, hand me that paper cup, Please.”

“Sure.”

“My money’s on 7.”

Sasha put the die in the cup, then rolled.

“It’s a seven!”

“Right. Lemme try something…”

Sasha added two dice, the re-rolled. Total 14.

“Double seven. You’re double lucky.”

Donna chimed in: “Let me do this.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t recommend-“

Donna plucked the cup from Sasha’s hand.

She rolled. This time, only three dice fell out. Total 13.

“Oh. You’re a very unlucky person.” Sasha teased. Donna stared into cup in shock. Sasha laughed. The sound was just slightly off.

Donna muttered to herself. “6.. 1.. 6.”

“All in good fun.”

Donna was not laughing.

Over the next couple hours, Sasha performed various tricks, some of which were, Unusual.

One man’s mind read “I-M-Lucy-Fur.”

Another rolled all sixes on a luck test.

Another selected “Black 6 of diamonds.” From a card deck thrice in a row, before Sasha made the cards disappear in a puff of flame.

After this, Donned had enough. “Right, Sasha, you’re performance is offensive, you satanic creep.”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “Donna, I’m an atheist. How could I be a Satanist?”

“Don’t play dumb with me.”

“I don’t believe in god, so I don’t believe in satan.”

“Then how do you explain the numbers?”

“What numbers?”

“The beast’s number! You’ve been subliminally shoving it in everyone’s face!”

“I’m not. And if I were, it’d be for laughs.”

“I mean, you even introduced yourself in a demonic way!”

“How would you know? Do you speak Russian?”

“Russian is a satanic language!”

The guests have gone dead silent. James, Donna’s husband, walks up to her.

“Honey, have a drink, relax, it’s all part of the show.”

“All in good fun.” Said Sasha.

“Good fun… it’s not fun!!”

“How about I just dip out then?”

“Don’t you dare, Devil!”

Sasha stepped back from the crowd. She then began pulled out a large cloth, and began spinning around. On the third spin, Sasha had disappeared.

#short story #Weird fiction #Cat Girl #Antitheist Troll

[thetransversespectator]

THE CHORUS OF HELL AT THE THEATER OF THE WORLD

The chorus of hell: everyone is watching you. They always have, all of your ancestors: the ones in hell! They congratulate each other coming into the stadium, thinking they are the first to arrive. It's light outside and the sun is shining. "We're all so young and shiny, this must be heaven for sure!" Sometimes they watch stage plays, anxiety dreams. They don't remember how to eat or sleep. They watch.

Their curse is that they have to watch the ones they cared about flail about and yes, occasionally triumph, without them. It's a cosmic tragicomedy, and we're the red meat they throw to the ghouls. The theater of the world, the theater of the real, call it what it is: a theater of cruelty!

Face it: you're in hell, you're in hell, you're in hell too, all of you! And the ones you bark and gnash about from the bleachers -- "oh, Rose isn't here! I wonder what she did" .. they're the ones in heaven, you fools!

Now they watch him swirl and stumble. He lays down his ambitions for a lowly toke of a joint. He scrimps and saves and aplogizes and obeys until the chances the almighty ghouls had in the betting stakes were all but gone! But fear not, for the spirit of God stirs within him. That's the show they're here to watch, after all. But they never know that, and they never will.

"Just look at him. He was so talented. A strong writer, and such a virtuoso! And now you couldn't tell him apart from one of the street rats in Berkeley."

"I have to admit, Carol, he had a golden ticket to the top but he seems to have thrown it to the wind." Austin's just shaking his head. Uncle Monty chimes in, "You guys are forgetting about the painting. He's not flailing, he's lying in wait, ready to pounce." It's all a bunch of bullshit, baffling brains from the grave.

They watch and laugh, mocking the will of God. The performance is hilarious, though. Praetor's ranking in the theater moves up and up, beyond the doctors and the lawyers and the ones whose failed progenitors watch so closely and with such obscenity

Praetor is glowing again. I mean literally glowing. Purple or blue. I don't know. He looks up at the sky and shakes his fist. "I am not a gladiator for an audience of geriatric devils! I did not come here to be judged!" The spirit of George Hume rises within him, animating his steps. He is joined by Wayne Daniels, Virginia Butler, Rose Humke, Linn Watts. Energies returned to source, reextended from the head. Angel arms, god tentacles, playing with him a like a toy.

The performance is for himself. They wait for God to send a message, but they've all forgotten his name. They don't listen, and they never will. Everyone is a pawn in this arena; the only antidote is death.

[blacklodgemusictx]

Beautiful/Trivial

Sweet, aching sadness.  Bitter, snarling anger.  Gentle piano notes being smashed to a frantic crescendo.  Screeching guitar.  Whispering.  Insidious.  

Jesse Daniel Edwards could curate the soundtrack to the chemically drenched sock hop I endeavor to conjure on my depression-mandated Ketamine trips.  

My first impression of him was Little Steven (I only know about Little Steven because of Rattle and Hum, ‘’… a friend of ours, Little Steven, was putting together a record of artists against APAR-TIGHT” – preach, Brother Bono) meets Harry Connick Jr… crooning away as the apocalypse begins and the bombs start to fall. 

Quiet, gentle bombs, please.  Last November when I wandered into Salim Nourallah’s listening room – Galactic Headquarters— to see Jesse and Landon Pigg, I was hung over.  I don’t drink.  I get Ketamine infusions.  Better living through chemical intervention.  I overcome my fear of needles long enough to get some sunshine mainlined directly to my brain.   Turns down my self-hating, self -destructive monologue long enough I can function again… for awhile.  But I’m left dried out.  Aching.  Low lights, friends, music at Salim’s seemed like just what the doctor ordered. 

I have since journeyed down an Insta-YouTube rabbit hole for more information regarding what I saw that night.  Jesse seems to have a lot in common with Salim.  Each contains multitudes.  10 different kinds of rock star wrapped up in a quiet, unassuming, crazy-talented package.  “Little Steven” Jesse is just one face.  There appears to be Mellencamp(“Jack and Diane were such fine examples” he sings in “The Future Has Been Canceled”)/Springsteen  tattooed, mullet-rocker resplendent in wife beater (please, if there’s a more PC way to refer to those shirts now… I don’t know what it is) and jeans, a Hawaiian shirt and visor wearing “Jimmy Buffet” Jesse who – carried away by the moment -- throws himself on the ground and writhes with his guitar.  

In every single video I found of Jesse, Landon is there.  Buttoned up shirt.  Beating the hell out of tambourine, smiling like a (if there were such a thing) long haired Mormon missionary (I am a lapsed Mormon, I can say stuff like that.)   I don’t know these gents other than a few words exchanged at that first show and the occasional DM I will send Jesse’s way on Instagram, but I can only assume Jesse and Landon are best friends.  If you let me imagine it too much, I will make a Pixar, friends-til-the-end movie out of their perceived relationship.  Brothers together in the cause and service of ROCK.  It makes a nice mental picture.  I like it when people care for each other. 

The other half of Black Lodge, my other half, the light chevron pattern to my dark (aka “Doug”):  he doesn’t care.  He will listen to music and remove it from the maker.  He barely listens to the words.  His heart is guided by the pure musicality (this is how he appreciates Frank Zappa where I cannot get past the ridiculous words long enough to even get to what may or may not be brilliantly executed music.)  He doesn’t care if the artist is a good person or if the band members were getting along when they recorded such-and-such.  He appreciates the product. 

I need to know the product was arrived at through pure intentions.  I like it when you are a good person, I like the band mates are best friends, I like my performers having fun, experiencing joy.  That’s just me. 

I like it when your lyrics make me feel something.  Even if it’s sadness, anger, impotence. 

“I don’t wanna do it anymore/You can’t make me do it anymore/God, don’t make me do it anymore” 

Do what? Everything. 

Wake up.  Doom scroll.  Wonder.  Worry.   

“The more you care, the more they take.”   

Watch society collapse.  Hope you can scratch out a little life for yourself, a corner of happiness.  Keep that happiness safe from the onslaught of daily soul sucking reality.  A rose under glass from the Disney childhood all the Millennials are trying to hold on to, keep safe and untarnished.   

“I hate me, but I can’t change who I am.”  

My high school ring (class of 99) says “Life on the edge of time.”  The last analog generation with vague memories of being sent outside to play, riding bikes, passing notes instead of texting, failing a grade at school instead of getting shot to death there.  

We started life watching war on TV.  How is it reality where you can get bored with war and change the channel?  What is this? Where are my cartoons?  (“The holocaust is live on channel threeee”) As an elementary school class project, we wrote to Desert Storm soldiers.  Waco, 09/11… the revolutions have all been televised and we are soul-numb and bored.   

Every dream our parents took for granted is now out of our reach.  Education, a home to call your own.  Tell me how much hope *you* have managed to hold on to under these circumstances. We are racing to see if we finish ourselves off before the planet shakes us off like a bad cold. 

“Love is all you need/But love won’t stop bombs/or pull the nails out of your palms…”   This line stings like a sore spot in your mouth you can’t stop tonguing.  It hurts, but in a good way.  This line puts JDE on the opposite end of the spectrum from Salim Nourallah (my friend and the musician previous to Jesse to evoke such a visceral response in me musically) Salim Nourallah whose music is hope[…”ful melancholy,” a line I didn’t pen, but I keep returning to in regards to Salim’s music as it is, for the most part, a perfect description of why his songs appeal to me so much.] 

Salim is hope.  Jesse is hope lost.   As a 42-year-old (elder millennial) major depressive, I am both of these things.  Bitterly attractive dichotomy.  Salim’s music is the feeling I aspire to when the chemicals are still working.    Jesse’s music is the chemicals wearing off, realization, dull horror.  Reality. 

What did Cervantes say?  “Too much sanity may be madness, and maddest of all – to see life as it is and not as it should be.”  I like a little of both. 

I feel like Jesse does too and Landon’s presence at his side feels like confirmation of that. 

Landon is a beautiful musician in his own right.  Sweet, wistful.  A touch of Eliot Smith.  A little Iron and Wine.  Master of what everyone aspires to:  the elusive EAR WORM.  Listen to ‘Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop.’  You know that song.  I promise you.  I know that song.  I was able to mouth all the words as he began singing it… the infuriating thing is: I don’t know HOW I know it.  I played it later for my mother.  She knows it too.  She does not know HOW she knows it either!  Google says it was probably either an AT&T commercial or an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  Both of which I’m sure I’ve been exposed to… but not in enough quantities to know all the words.  I remain… befuddled.  

Landon was also in Whip It – that earlier 2000s movie I was briefly obsessed with, decided I would learn roller derby even though I could NOT skate to save my life.  This brief obsession led me to my first broken bone at the auspicious age of at least 30: my tail bone.  I broke my tailbone for this movie.  I’m an idiot… but it’s a good movie. 

I forgot to rewatch it before I saw the performance.  Went back and watched it later:  yep.  There he is.  Right there.  Pretty big part too. Huh.  Good going, sir. 

At first, I was nervous I would wax poetic about Jesse for pages and then go, “Landon sings pretty.  He’ll be there too.” But then I relearned what I found out months ago:  Landon has, among other things, 406THOUSAND Spotify listeners (several times the population of the city I am currently sitting in while I write this) and Jesse has… 106.   

Something tells me Landon won’t mind that I was a little heavy handed in Jesse’s direction. 

(But yes, he’s lovely.  He has nice hair, sings like an angel and is witty to boot.  The “champagne lady with the pickle-back” sends her regards.) 

All of this to say, the boys will be back at Galactic (Dallas) this Friday and Austin on Saturday.  Links to follow. 

Don’t miss this.  I designed stickers for both performers… come get some.  You’ll love them, I promise.  There’s no place like Galactic (Austin is good too, don’t get me wrong, but Galactic has Salim and all my friends, I’m biased.) 

#jessedanieledwards #landonpigg #fallinginloveinacoffeeshop #indie music #austin tx #dallas tx #galactic #listening room #singer #songwriter #whip it #millennials #future #disillusionment #hope #hopeless #salim nourallah #guitar player #piano #pianist #nashville #live music #support musicians #better living through chemistry #biting off the hand #roller derby #smallvenue #saxon pub #american dreaming #Youtube

[beseojun]

✰ Reflection: seojun looks back on his performance of spark ✰

back in the same familiar interview room, seojun immediately gives a polite bow to the staff that is in the room, ready to answer whatever questions that they throw his way. the same pounding in his chest is there but he knows it’s more from the adrenaline of his performance before. his mind is not focusing on anything else but spark right now since his mind was finally settling that he did a good job. no need to dwell on anything negative to sour his mood right now. he just needs to enjoy the afterglow and be ready to articulate his thoughts

do you feel confident in your performance?

this question made him think last time and here he was thinking again about all of this to make sure he doesn’t fumble over his words. “honestly, i feel confident in my performance overall. i was nervous at first since i usually don’t sing since i am always focusing on dancing but as soon as i got on the stage, i gave it my all. i took everything i learned within this short amount of time and made sure that i brought it out there. so i’m feeling confident that i did that for the performance and even improved a bit.”

what was the greatest challenge during this mission?

there were a few challenges but he hoped he had overcome them or did something to show that he did well during this. “there was a few since i knew i had to work on my vocals but i feel that i took in everything that bom told me as well as anything my team tried to help me work on. it was fun learning to sing better and i  feel i’d gladly sing more often if given the chance.” he beams at the camera, having a new found love for singing though he’ll always love dancing the most.

so you rose in rank during the last episode, how do you feel about the new rank?

he expects the question but he doesn’t let it cause him to feel anxious. that would only cause problems for himself in the long run and he knows it. “i’m surprised but i’m glad i got to show the judges how i am on stage. the new rank is nice but i won’t let that get to my head. i wanna keep just showing them that i can improve and learn quickly while also taking the time to practice on my own every single time.” he gives a soft smile, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding but he feels good which is what matters to him.

did you feel you worked well with your teammates during this mission?

he instantly nods his head before clarifying, already knowing that his best friend is gonna be mentioned since he got to work alongside him. “i do. there was no tension at all and we easily helped up lift each other whenever we needed to. i made sure to be a cheerleader for joomi whenever i could since i wanted to see him do well and i know he can. kou was there to cheer me up which was appreciated. i’m glad he wanted to give me chocolate to help boost my mood, i know i’ll never forget that.” his eyes are bright as he recounts the moments he had with the tow he hadn’t known that well until now. “haneul is someone i always work well with and not just because we are best friends. he’s always there to comfort me and he worked with me a lot with my vocals. i don’t think i would have gotta better without him. i’m forever grateful to my best friend. thank you hannie.” his tone shifts a bit at the nickname he has for his best friend as his dimple comes with the smile that is spread across his lips.

after finishing the questions, he bows again to everyone before taking his leave. an elated feeling hitting him as he wanders out. he kind of wonders if the cameras would catch the moments with haneul again like they did last time. not that he would mind but it just causes him to laugh a bit. his mind wanders from that though since at the end of the day, he’d love to work with the three of them again. it probably won’t happen but he can dream. at least he enjoyed himself a ton with everyone on his team and got have a great time performing alongside them as well.

#be:ngs1p3 #이서준 — ✰ / solo #( wc: 763 )

[discoerot1ca]

it comes softer than I’m expecting it. you show up in my life, head spinning with hearts and ghosts still pink on your lips. taking your hand looks like a whirlwind into moving picture. I agree to the first date.

you pick me up and insist that I play my music, and I do. you know only a quarter of the songs, but you insist I have to send it to you, you’re falling in love with half of it. you don’t kiss me by the end of the night.

I see you in class. you smile and talk to me when I speak first. you remember things I didn’t expect, but only because I remembered things first. the careful reciprocation is so obvious, but I don’t question it yet. your pupils come heart-shaped. I’m the one who invites you out for a second time.

you’re worried about it. you put on three different outfits before you settle on one, and you tell me that. you say it has more to do with gender and headspace than me, really, but I swear I understand, I do the same a lot. you tell me about your character, the tragedy inherent in the way he doesn’t belong in the story he’s in. when you kiss me, you put both hands on the sides of my face. you seem like someone who has held people a thousand different ways; I wonder why this one is mine.

it’s quiet. it settles in between us. I forget why I thought you would be loud, full of projection, full of stories I’d never compete with. the anxiety falls away and you’re tougher than I thought you’d be. you make me laugh, all the time. there’s a performance here but you drop it, and we’re in the blues for a time but I don’t mind the color. you look up one day and I can see the hearts again. it’s enough, we’re saying. I keep my hand in yours. the pink comes back and I am very much a living thing upon your cheeks. we stay through spring.

(- oh, the stories I can build off a little attention…)

it’s the same thing every time. it’s the sideways glances, the slight hovering over my shoulder (a product of minimal height difference), it’s the way they throw their head back and laugh.

it’s like hozier said, like mr. rogers said, how you can fall in love a little bit, every day, with someone new, as long as you know their story.

i don’t know why it really only clicks for me with artists. i think that’s a mystery. i never thought something could grow out of the ashes that fell in july. and yet, just like the seed from your apple core that sprouted, i find my heart soft again, for someone different this time. someone who, when i picked out earrings that looked like daggers, didn’t realize i was thinking of you. someone who, when i mentioned good omens, the way I’m apt to do eventually, didn’t know who introduced me to that world, or who made me believe in it. two separate people in rose colored sunglasses, one of them was you.

oh, they don’t have your seaglass eyes, and they don’t know our inside jokes, and i only really met them once. and once isn’t enough to really get to know someone, the way you and i were trying to get to know each other. it’s funny how my mind did a little compare and contrast after last night.

you have a cat, they have a dog. you have a father where they have a mother. you caught my heart when i threw it, mine is out of reach for them.

the “i love you-i love you more” game comes to mind. in many ways, i find it simple to connect other people in my mind. i have someone i want you to meet.

i love you more, but i can’t be sure about that, not really. you don’t like a lot of people, and maybe you wouldn’t like them either. maybe they’d seem like somebody you wanted to be but couldn’t.

there is a difference, though. they are a free spirit, always running away. you are firmly planted, at very least in my mind. there is a part of you that has taken root in my veins, too.

it seemed impossible that second love could sprout in the fall, the way first love died in the summer. my mother used to cut stalks off the end of green onions, planted them in water. it’s always amazed me how living things persist, even in the cold.

#asks #it’s about someone else—this time

[justanisabelakinnie]

If the Madrigals Exchanged Gifts:

Pepa: *covering her ears* UGH!!!! Is this what mija has always felt like? I can understand it now. I guess I’m grateful for the gift that I was given...hehe...I’d kinda like it back! EW! Somebody just threw up! Now I’m thundering...well, I’m not, but, umm, I feel like I am. Clear skies, clear skies...*sighs* I’m really not adjusting to this well, am I? 

Dolores: Finally, some peace and quiet. No, but this gift is actually kind of cool! *grows some pretty red roses and beams at her work* Can I swing from a vine like Tarzan? *goes up to the upper floor and does just that* Yay, I can! *smashes into a wall, roses fly around her head* If only I could get better at this. 

Isabela: What?! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FLOWERS! UGH! And just when I was coming into my own and discovering all the new possibilities that my actual gift possesses, this is what Casita tries to do to me? Why would you--? On the bright side, I’ve always kind of wanted a gift like this. This is only for a week so the least I can do is test it out. *picks up a boulder and throws it into the air, screams as it falls down and crumbles on top of her* Phew. *beat* NOBODY CAN TOUCH ME NOW!!! *goes crazy performing all sorts of dangerous daredevil stunts and also helps put the donkeys back in the barn, clearly having the time of her life* 

Luisa: *shows up at Camilo’s door and knocks, Camilo opens and has a heart attack and slams the door in Luisa’s face. why did he see another him on the other end?* So...I can be anyone I want now? For the whole week? That’s...actually kind of cool! Hey Mirabel, look what I can do! *does impressions of all the other family members, Agustin is the best one, she and Mirabel both laugh their asses off* 

Camilo: *lying face up in bed with bloodshot eyes from all the crying he’s been doing* 

Mirabel: Hey, I’m Mirabel. What’s your name? *squawk* Pico? Awww, that’s an adorable name! Hey listen, about that incident in Bruno’s sand tower, that kind of...hurt my feelings a little bit. *squawks* It’s okay! *swawks some more* Of course we can be friends! And I’d love to meet the others, too! *spends all week hanging out with all of the animals in the Encanto, as well as speaking to other people’s pets to figure out what they need, she’s a Disney Princess so of course this is the most suitable power for her* 

Antonio: Mami mami mami! Look at this yummy pie I made! *Pepa screams in pain, and her ears are bleeding, but she smiles and says “Oh really, mijo? That’s wonderful!”* Try it! *it looks disgusting...and it is, because a five year old made it, but within a minute her ears are instantly cured* I’d better go make more! *runs off leaving Pepa in an oxymoronic state of pride and dread* 

Julieta: *holding Bruno’s hands as her eyes glow blue* Here’s what will happen to this family: The ringing in Pepa’s ears will never go away, Antonio will have to keep making more nasty food for Pepa’s ears to not perpetually bleed, and Dolores will need some too for her broken nose, so make sure to let them all know! My daughters and Antonio seem to be the only ones doing all right, and--oh! I forgot about mi sobrino Camilo! This whole family will be thrown into chaos very soon if Camilo doesn’t come out of his room. But once the week is up everything will go back to normal. 

Bruno: Mirabel, have you seen my rats? Two of them went away! What? They like you more than me?! *a bold gust of wind swirls around him* CAMILO GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM NOW!!! *thunder* I can no longer make fun of Pepa anymore and that is the saddest thing about this week. *snow starts falling, he sits in the corner of the room getting drenched like crazy, until Mirabel gives him back his rat friends and tells him that they were never gone, just taking a break, and he smiles and starts sunshining. Then Pepa walks in with a mischievous grin and says “it looks like rain.”, in doing so she floods his brain, and before they know it, everyone in the Encanto is locked inside their houses with the windows shut tight and stacked up on food, because there is a hurricane.* 

Abuela: Can’t wait for this week to be over. 

#pepa madrigal #dolores madrigal #isabela madrigal #luisa madrigal #camilo madrigal #mirabel madrigal #antonio madrigal #julieta madrigal #bruno madrigal #alma madrigal #isabela my beloved #isabela is best girl #why yes this was just a way for me to see isabela with super strength whyever do you ask #and yes she is also inspired by the original concept of pepa #poor camilo tho #but hey at least dolores is having fun and she's so cute #i saw her swinging on the rope in all of you so it just clicked for me #she could totally alter her wardrobe around her gift lol #tag yourself i'm dolores #la familia madrigal #pepa getting back at bruno is delicious #we don't talk about pepa #but julieta still uses her gift to assist and nurture and that is just so sweet #i like the idea of them using their gifts for both others and themselves so yeah #it looks like rain #antonio being cute as usual #madrigals power swap

[the-bau-quinjet]

My Name Isn't

Summary: You find out the guys (Bucky, Steve, and Sam) have a bet as to who can kiss you first, so you confront them at Tony's team building karaoke night.

Warnings: some swearing and drinking

Word Count: 3187

a/n: This was inspired by my love of the classic using karaoke to express your feelings trope and the song My Name Isn't by LOVA. I did change the lyric "yours" into "doll" though because it made sense in the story.

"Not a chance, Wilson." Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve walked into the room, unbothered by the familiar sounds of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes arguing.

"C'mon tin man, you afraid you're gonna lose?' Sam couldn't help but tease the super soldier.

"It's a stupid bet! Steve tell him it's a stupid bet." Bucky stared at his best friend, silently begging for him to agree.

Steve's tone could only be described as exasperated when he responded, "what is it this time?"

"I bet Barnes and Noble over here," Sam stopped talking to dodge the book Bucky threw at him, "that I could get Y/N to kiss me before he could, and he's too chicken shit to take the bet."

"It's a stupid bet!" Bucky was gearing up to throw another book when Steve chimed in. "I don't know Buck, it could get you to finally act on your feelings for her."

Bucky rolled his eyes, responding with his typical denial "I don't have any feelings, punk."

Sam and Steve shared an obvious "this man is lying" look before turning back to Bucky.

"Fine, Cap since Bucky won't take the bet, will you?" The mischievous gleam in Sam's eye shown through as Steve weighed his options.

"It is a pretty stupid bet, but I'm doing this for you Buck." Clapping Bucky on the shoulder, he turned to Sam. "I'm in." As Steve went to shake Sam's hand, Bucky gave in.

"Fine! Fine. All three of us. The first one to kiss her wins." Bucky reluctantly agreed.

"Now, what does the winner get?" Sam posed the question, mischief clear in his eyes.

-

The first time you had an inkling that something was afoot was your training with Steve and Bucky later that same day. Steve wasn't overly touchy or anything that would make you uncomfortable, this is America's Golden Boy after all, but he kept calling you "honey" or some variation of it. You'd throw a punch and rather than correcting your form in his usual commanding Captain voice, he would feed you a random compliment followed by a "try it like this hun."

You left the gym confused and with more energy than one would typically have after training with Steve Rogers. Luckily for you, Nat and Wanda noticed it too.

"What was that about?" Wanda asked as soon as the three of you were out of earshot.

"I don't have a clue." Your expression of complete confusion was enough to convince the two women you were telling the truth.

"I always thought Barnes had a thing for you. I wouldn't expect Steve of all people to try to mess that up. Especially with how obvious you are!" Nat chimed in. You've never regretted anything more than getting drunk and admitting your feelings for the brunette super soldier to the two women.

"Ugh, are the two of you ever gonna forget about that?" Your question was rhetorical as you nearly slammed the door to your room, but it didn't stop the two women from shouting "not a chance" and "only if you tell him" through the door.

-

The second time you noticed the weird behavior was the next day. You were running through some basic defense moves with some new Shield agents when Sam walked in with Bucky.

Now, normally Sam avoids you in the gym because he knows you'll kick his ass. All your time spent training with Nat mixed with your advanced perception skills meant you are a force to be reckoned with in the gym. This time though, he asked to spar before running through his typical warm up routine.

"You sure, Wilson? I wouldn't want to bruise your ego any further." You joked with him, unsure of his motives.

"Oh I'm sure, baby. Do your worst."

So you did. You had him on the mat in 4 minutes even, not letting the "baby" comment phase you until later in the night when you were with Wanda and Nat.

"First, Steve keeps calling me honey. Now Wilson is in on it with baby! What the hell is going on?'

The three of you shared identical shrugs, choosing to ignore it for now in favor of girls night.

-

Your days continued with the random comments from Sam and Steve. Of course, after the first 24 hours you noticed a pattern emerging. The two men would only use the pet names if Bucky was in the room. If Bucky couldn't overhear what was being said, everything was normal, but all bets were off if he so much as stepped in the room. It was constant affection and compliments from the two men.

You were thinking about the pattern you'd discovered, along with what it could mean, when Tony barged into the common room like a man on fire.

He surveyed the room, noting the presence of nearly every team member. The only three missing? Sam, Steve, and Bucky. You had a feeling they were most definitely up to something. "Oh perfect, most of you are here already! I have decided we don't do enough team building. Saving the world is stressful and we deserve to relax, so... drumroll please!" He waited for an extended period of time, until you, Wanda, and Vision gave him a lackluster drumroll. "That could use some work, but I'm not going to let it bring me down. We're doing karaoke! I rented out a bar for tonight, so clear your schedules ladies and gentlemen! We start at 8."

To say he was met with mixed results would be underselling the range of reactions. Nat looked ready to kill him. Thor was so excited, he reminded you of a golden retriever playing fetch. Most everybody else fell somewhere in the middle.

"Y/N, be a dear and let the three stooges know would ya? I don't know where they are and I don't feel like finding them." Tony didn't wait for a response before leaving the room just as rapidly as he entered it.

"I guess that's my cue. I'll be back and we can at least get ready together?" You looked to Nat and Wanda for confirmation before leaving to find Steve, Bucky, and Sam.

-

You checked Sam's room first because it's the closest to the common area, but there was no sign of life. Steve and Bucky's rooms sat similarly untouched. You went to the gym, the pool, the game room, and circled back to the kitchen but they were nowhere to be seen. Finally, you gave up the impromptu game of hide and seek asking FRIDAY where they were.

"FRIDAY, do you know where Steve, Bucky, and Sam are?"

"Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, and Lieutenant General Wilson are on the roof." The AI responded so fast, it had you wondering why didn't just ask her 40 minutes ago when their rooms were all empty.

"What the hell are they doing on the roof?" You huffed as you made your way back to the elevator.

"They are the discussing the terms of their bet." FRIDAY's response surprised you. You hadn't meant to actually receive an answer, but now that you did you were curious.

"What bet?" You continued the line of questioning as the elevator rose to the roof access point.

"The three made a bet to see who could get you to kiss them first."

Suddenly, all the pet names and compliments made sense.

"Son of a bi-" You cut yourself off as the elevator door opened, leading you directly to the three men in question. They turned abruptly, clearly caught off guard by anyone coming to the roof.

"Finally. I've been looking for you three everywhere!" You kept the new found information to yourself for the time being. "Tony decided we're doing karaoke tonight. We're supposed to be at the bar he rented out by 8pm." You smiled, taking in the slightly guilty expressions on each of their faces. Even if FRIDAY hadn't told you, it would be painstakingly obvious you caught them talking about you.

"Thanks doll, we'll make sure we're there." You felt the butterflies in your stomach at the pet name, but quickly shut it down. You wouldn't be giving in to their bet that easily.

"No problem, see you boys soon." You winked, pressing the button to bring you back to the main floor. You had a plan to make after all.

-

"Well, it's karaoke why don't you just sing a song to call them out on it?" Wanda suggested another idea as you all got ready to head to the bar.

"That could work. You just need the perfect song." Nat chimed in, quickly applying some mascara.

"Wanda, you're a genius, and I think I have just the one." You grinned, pulling the song up to play while you finished getting ready.

-

Upon entering the bar, you immediately started second guessing your plan. That is, until the pet names came out to play. Sam was back at it with calling you baby, and Steve right there beside him with honey.

When you put your name down to sing, Wanda and Nat were right there with you, hyping you up and providing some liquid courage. Four drinks in and you finally felt just tipsy enough to actually follow through with your plan.

With the encouraging words from Nat and Wanda playing through your mind, you walked up to the stage, pulling up your chosen song on the karaoke machine.

You decided to play the beginning of the song off as a coincidence, not wanting to clue the guys in too early.

"One, two, three have been staring at me. It's been going all night."

You made eye contact with Nat and Wanda, fully relying on the feminist in you to knock these guys down a few pegs. By the time the chorus rolled around, you were ready.

Making direct eye contact with Sam, you put as much sass as possible into the next line.

"My name isn't 'baby,' you cannot say whatever you feel like. I am not the things you call me."

Switching your target from Sam to Steve, you kept going with the performance.

"My name isn't 'honey,' I will always do whatever I feel like. Honestly, you don't know me."

Clearly the three of them realized you knew about their bet, but you were on a roll. Switching focus to Bucky, you switched up the words a little bit to put him on blast as well.

"My name isn't... doll. My name isn't... doll."

The girls must have filled in the rest of the group, because you now had Bruce, Thor, Vision, Tony, Pepper, Clint, Wanda, and Nat cheering you on. They were whopping and hollering in agreement with the lyrics.

"We ain't got the time for you messing around so cut the deal."

"Cut the deal!!" You heard Tony yelling out as an echo, shaking your head with a slight chuckle.

"So don't come here and say, 'boys will be boys.' Behind every act there's always a choice."

The three men in question at least had the decency to look ashamed of their actions. Of course, that wasn't enough for you to not put them on blast through another round of the chorus.

The high from calling them out wore off right around the line:

"Do you really think that you can get your way by playing the same game."

Singing those words made you realize exactly what just happened. You held it together, put up a front long enough to get through the last chorus. Singing the last line to Bucky, you felt like your emotions were all over your face. The annoyance that the bet existed. The pain at him being part of it. The love you'd been trying to hide. All of it felt like it was right out in the open.

"My name isn't... Doll. My name isn't, my name isn't... Doll."

You took a quick bow in thanks for all the applause, before running off the stage. You didn't stop at the table with Nat and Wanda, nor did you stop for the three men trying to apologize. You made it outside, running about five blocks before even taking in your surroundings. Noticing a McDonald's, you sent a quick prayer that the ice cream machine was actually functioning before ducking inside.

-

The team stood with mouths hanging open at your sudden departure.

"What the hell just happened?" Tony posed the question to the group, knocking them out of their stupor.

Bucky was the first to follow you outside, his panic growing when he didn't see you leaning against any of the brick walls.

"Where is she?" Steve asked, spinning in circles right alongside Bucky while the rest of the group filed out the door.

"I don't know!" Bucky turned on Steve and Sam. "I never should have agreed to that stupid bet. Dammit!" Running his hands through his hair, he took off down the street calling a quick, "I'll look this way" over his shoulder.

He moved quickly down the street, keeping his eyes peeled for your sparkly, dark red dress. He looked through the windows of the many store fronts as he passed them. About five blocks later, he was about to turn around, assuming you went a different direction when he saw the familiar golden "m". A memory from about three weeks ago was quick to flash through his mind.

The team just came back from a two and a half week mission yesterday, meaning Tony was bound to throw a party today. It went about the same as most Tony Stark parties go; a lot of schmoozing until most guests left and the team could actually let loose.

You let a little looser than normal at the after party. After the mission required you to pretend to be married to Bucky, you felt like you deserved it. It was getting harder and harder to hide your feelings from him, especially when he insisted on walking you to your room after the party.

In a last ditch effort to avoid any drunk escapades, you asked him to take you to McDonald's instead of your room.

"Please Bucky?" You asked, drawing out the words and adding a small pout for good measure. "I just want a McFlurry and some fries! Please!"

"Sure, doll. We can go to McDonald's." You jumped up and down clapping, hugging him as you praised him for being so kind.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are the nicest, most perfect man to ever live. Let's gooooo!!" He smiled at your antics, leading you to one of the many cars Tony kept stocked, not quite trusting you to ride a motorcycle at the moment.

After getting the food, the two of you ate together in the car. You, of course, insisting he try dipping the fries in the ice cream.

Reluctantly, he admitted it wasn't that bad before driving the two of you home. He dropped you off at your door, receiving a whispered "thank you" and a quick kiss to the cheek from you.

He smiled at the memory before walking inside. He found you in a booth toward the back, unsurprisingly dipping fries into your ice cream

"Y/N, I'm so sorry." You didn't even look up when he started speaking, choosing instead to study the m&ms in your dessert. "Really. It was a stupid bet. Hell, I didn't even want to do it, but then that punk and birdman teamed up against me and I couldn't let them do it without me! It would've killed me to know one of them kissed you. It was so stupid and I should've just shut it down. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much more than that." He trailed off, waiting for you to say something.

You gestured to the seat across from you, pushing some fries toward him. "It was a stupid bet."

You waited until his mouth was full before asking "Why would it have killed you?" Watching him nearly choke on his fries was oddly satisfying.

"What?" He tried to deflect the question. You shook your head, passing him a napkin.

"You said it would have killed you to know one of them kissed me. Why?" You looked him in the eye as you ate another fry.

"Well, you see, I... um, maybe have um... feelings." It was his turn to stare intently at the m&ms. He mumbled a quick "get yourself together" under his breath before continuing. "I like you. Hell, I think I love you. I don't know when it started, but suddenly you are all I can think about. I worry about you constantly when your on a mission without me, even though I know you can take care of yourself. I see little things that remind me of you everywhere. Like yesterday, I saw a buttercup on the side of the road and I couldn't stop thinking about the time you spent a good twenty minutes ranting about how spring is the worst season."

Suddenly, you were on a tangent. "Because it is! It's always raining, it's muggy, it's always freezing in the morning and way too hot in the afternoon so you have to carry all these extra layers-"

"I love you. That's why it would've killed me. I don't even want to think about you with another-"

It was your turn to cut him off, doing so by leaning across the small table to kiss him. It was quick, but you still felt fireworks.

"I love you too." Your words were sweet, but shifted when you said the rest of your sentence. "I just have one more question." The smirk on your face made him nervous, but he was more than willing to answer anything.

"What do you get for winning?"

-

After talking with Bucky, you texted Nat and Wanda to let them know you were okay and the two of you were headed back to the compound. You beat everyone else back, but decided to wait for them in the common area.

Steve and Sam came in with their heads low, struggling to make eye contact.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. We never should have made that bet." Steve started, aware of all the eyes on him.

"Me too. It was stupid and thoughtless." Sam added on.

"It was, but you are forgiven." You reached for Bucky's hand, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Bucky told me the winner of your little bet gets to pick the music for all forms of travel on the next three missions." You grinned at their confused expressions. "Bucky, being the winner, has so graciously bestowed that gift to me now. Get ready boys. I'm talking High School Musical. Hamilton. I'll have the two of you singing Taylor Swift in the shower." You, along with the rest of the team, laughed at their expense. Their grim expressions had you smiling, "oh please, I know you secretly love it!"

"Now, I have to go to bed. I have a date tomorrow." You winked at Bucky before sauntering off down the hall, the cheers of your teammates following you.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers #sam wilson #marvel fic #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #tony stark #marvel

[firstfullmoon]

But what can it be if love is a past tense event? And what was love then according to my brain and what is love now and how do I direct it like a beam with the power to excise all that is not love? For a time I believed getting and keeping love required lace. Procuring lace and arranging it on my body in a certain way. Isn’t that funny and/or strange? I modulated my voice to the northern region of its register. Reddened my lips. This was love’s drapery and music and face. If you’ve read Madame Bovary, if you’ve read gothic romance, you know the denouement of that arc. When I first read the word denouement out loud my ex-husband laughed at my mispronunciation. I include it here as an illustration of the fact that love does not conquer all. Now when I think of love it’s like focusing too hard on the mechanisms of blinking or breathing. You can be blinded or suffocated by that degree of self-consciousness. Like a love letter, love seems to me to exist on a thin plane, a disintegrating page covered in words scratched onto the surface with purple disappearing ink cooked up in a chemistry lab. I’m sure I’ve written a love letter here and there. Something gauche, a performance designed toward the specific outcome of eternity. I read of a feral dog who could only be captured by putting the soiled blankets of her puppies in a live trap. This is my metaphor for a love letter. I own a letter my father wrote my mother when they were newly in love. The stationery is smallish and decorated with a garish deep red rose in aching bloom. He spends most of his language’s currency bemoaning his bad spelling. No wonder she found him charming. For my people it is the flaw that counts, but not for all people. Our narrative is an object lesson in the fact that flawed people deserve to be loved, at least for a while. That’s the ephemeral part. I’m much too sturdy now to invest in the ephemeral. No, I do not own lace curtains. It’s clear we die a hundred times before we die. The selves that were gauzy, soft, sweet, capable of throwing themselves away on love, died young. They sacrificed themselves to the long haul. Picture girls in white nighties jumping off a cliff into the sea. I want to say don’t mistake this for cynicism but of course, it is cynicism. Cynicism is a go-to I no longer have the energy to resist. It’s like living with a vampire. Finally, just get it over with, bite me. I find it almost offensive to use the word love in relation to people I actually love. The word has jumped off so many cliffs into so many seas. What can it now signify? Shall I use the word affinity like J.D. Salinger, not a good man, put into the mouths of his child genius characters? I have an affinity for my parents. An affinity for you. I will make sure you are fed and clothed. I will listen to you endlessly. I will protect your privacy even if it means removing myself from the equation. Do those sound like wedding vows? Are they indiscriminate? Well then, I am indiscriminate. I am married to the world. I have worked it all out in front of you. Isn’t that a kind of nakedness? You have called for a love letter. This is a love letter.

— Diane Seuss, “Love Letter”

#w #poetry #diane seuss