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marinersubmariner · 4 months

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I finished Jedi Survivor, gotta blab about it!

SPOILER SPACE

BODE?!??!??!? I kept thinking he was gonna die, especially in the lead-up to the final Dagan fight—they gave him so many hallmarks of a tragic death that I never suspected a classic video game companion betrayal (one of my favorite things!!!)! So that twist threw me for a LOOP, not just the betrayal but then the reveal that HE WAS A JEDI TOO WHAAAATTTTTT!!??!?!?! Absolutely bananas.

It's funny because Dagan's death felt pretty anticlimactic, and I knew the game wasn't over yet so I was like… what else is there? And I still couldn't have anticipated how OH SHIT the "what else" part could be.

Because then it's PLAYABLE CERE!!!! Which was so fun because she felt SO powerful to play as, and the whole time I was reeling about the betrayal and why am I Cere now what the fuck what the fuck what the fuccckkkkk. And then as soon as the door opened on Vader I instantly got teary-eyed because I knew exactly how that was gonna end. Of COURSE you're out-of-left-field playing as Cere for her last stand. ;___; Of COURSE they couldn't include Vader just for the player to narrowly escape again. ;___; Cere wasn't even my favorite character and she felt so distant in this game, but having her death take place amidst the destruction of the archive that she'd been building that whole time, plus HER LAST WORD BEING "TRILLA," plus BEING MURDERED BY VADER EXACTLY LIKE TRILLA... way to make it as painful as it could possibly be!!!!!! I gotta say, not only do these games make Vader VERY scary, they also make me hate him more than ever. FUCK YOOOOUUU MURDER MACHINE

I am shocked they went all-in on Cal/Merrin just because… romance in Star Wars????? Since when??? Hahahahaaaa…….. I kid, I kid, we have fun. I love them. Although my main inclination in the first game was Cal/Trilla (it was immediately after TROS and the extreme Reylo of it got to me!!) and somewhere along the way I had gotten the impression that Merrin was a lesbian (or maybe that's just the default Nightsister vibe). But truly I consider everyone in SW to be bi/pan/ace/anything but fully straight, so honestly, whatever. Related side note: I was really pleasantly surprised by the directness about how many supporting characters here were gay!

I LOVED the first kiss followed by the totally bonkers portal-jumping battle, that was such cool teamwork. And the end of the game was sooooo saaaad but thankfully they both lived and so now I'm real emo about the orphan Jedi and the orphan witch and how far they've come since she tried to kill him. 😭

Backtracking a bit I REALLY enjoyed Dagan getting dumped out of the bacta tank, getting pissed off, and IMMEDIATELY bleeding his crystal. It was very ooooohhh SHIT dude making some major life decisions here!! So cool! So dramatic! Escalated so quickly! I'm pleased that I did end up enjoying Dagan a decent amount, because going into this I was annoyed by a) not liking Cody Fern's face and b) not liking the High Republic aesthetic.

Honestly I was very ready to dislike both Dagan and Bode because I was really not happy with the previews showing they added a bunch of dudes while hiding Merrin and Cere, and Trilla being dead…… blugh. But thankfully trailers are misleading and there was plenty of Merrin. (and her surprise entrance was THRILLLINNGGGG) And the dudes were alright and they wound up dead anyway. So! …Hm.

IT WAS SO SAD. I'M SO SAD. The "Ghost Star" lullaby was so pretty and haunting and it messed me up BAD, because of course I'm not just thinking of this game I'm thinking of all my dead Star Wars friends (and obvs one ghost in particular…….. sob). There are so many. Star Wars is littered with corpses. AND IT'S SO SAD.

Cal using the dark side was craazzzyyyyyy and when the first prompt for it came on screen I was like "uh oh!!!! I don't wanna." Wild how becoming more powerful in a video game can be so fun and so upsetting at the same time. I did actually die in the final fight with Bode because I refused to tap into the dark side when prompted, lol. I was like "maybe if I don't do it something different will happen!" Haha, nope! USE THE DARK SIDE OR DIE. Which is an interesting moral quandary for Star Wars, because if the dark side is always more powerful 100% of the time, and there are certain situations where it's either fight a dark side opponent or die… what does the Force really want you to do? Stick to the light side and be defeated? Is the ultimate end goal of the Force for everything to die and become one with it? AH JEEZ

Part of me expected Tanalorr to not work out in the end, because "magical top secret planet where we can hide and be safe forever" is obviously too good to be true. But I also think every pre-OT story is always having to find an out for why these characters weren't around for the OT, so in that sense of course Tanalorr had to work out! It's the perfect loophole for this time period! It just felt like every story beat was pointing to the dream of Tanalorr being too much of a corrupting influence—Dagan lost his arm, Santari, and then his life because he refused to let go, and then Bode did the same, and I thought it would come down to Cal also facing that dark path and being forced to give up the dream, like by having to choose between Merrin and Tanalorr. In Grail quests you always have to give up the Grail! But no, now they're really gonna live in the ethereal weird forbidden promised land. FEELS CREEPY BUT OKAY

On the one hand I do kind of wish there had been more planets to explore—it felt strange for the journey to be less expansive than Fallen Order. But there was still so much to do on Koboh and they had some cool locations in there nonetheless. I'm just greedy for ~*~galactic exploration~*~! Anyway they made up for it with the strong story, because I think the plot and character work in this one were even better than Fallen Order.

I'm not sure how to piece it all together but I liked the small late-game talk of Vader and the Inquisitorius acting outside of regular Imperial command, when you're undercover and you get the scoop that there's a rivalry with the ISB and that the Jedha attack that happened was not the Jedha attack that was planned. Empire/Sith infighting, Vader vs. Tarkin and Krennic, how does stifled ISB employee Dedra Meero fit into all this, hm hm hm much to think about. Bode was a former Jedi being used by the Empire but he wasn't an Inquisitor—it was the same thing in the end but the particular type of tragedy was different. Wizards in the Empire but the Empire hates wizards, which type of leash are they gonna put you on and who's actually holding the leash?

Fav saloon regulars: TURGLE, of course I knew everybody loved Turgle, what a goober, A+, amazing frog; Caij, because apparently it's a biological imperative that all Nautolans are cool as hell; best bartender Monk; and I particularly enjoyed all the conversations with Tulakt and Moran.

Of course I was thrilled when I first encountered Skoova, his little hover fishing schooner was the BEST. Just an absolutely stellar amount of funky alien dudes in this game.

The powerful heavy swings that the crossguard stance uses…… hehehehehehehehehe. Where did they get that idea I wonder!!!!!! The only thing is that I don't like how small and thin the High Republic-style quillons are, so the aesthetic isn't as satisfying and proportional as Kylo's saber. You gotta beef up those crossguards fellas!

I didn't know that there was an interim story to explain why Greez has a prosthetic arm now, so I was like "did I really forget THAT MUCH of Fallen Order?" Even I can't keep up with all these Star Wars! I liked Greez a lot in the first game (MY PLANT GUY!!!!) but I really loved him even more in this one—he seemed much softer than I remember with his devotion to Cal and their whole family unit. And his braided hair of course delighted me.

And speaking of delightful new hair: Merrin's haircut! I LOVE HER SO MUCH. They gave her so much great deadpan humor while also enhancing her emotional maturity, so not only is she still super cool she's also soft and nice when it's called for, and I'M SO GLAD SHE DIDN'T DIE.

Kata is extremely cute and I'm already dreading her looming apprenticeship and the long-term outcome of who makes it to the next generation. I'm always having to remind myself of the bigger picture that Cal is older than Luke. And I certainly can't handle the thought of old Cal or dead Cal, but when you add kids into the mix, that's where this is headed!!!!!!

I took so many goddamn screencaps I'm probably only gonna post a minuscule fraction of them, but there were so many good aesthetic things and fun details to look at. And honestly part of my excessive snapping away involved lofty notions of using things as fanart reference. I LOVED all the new hair and wardrobe options because I absolutely just used Cal for Ben Solo AU cosplay. 🤪😎🤩✌️💀 The windswept hair is so good!!!! I mean I mainly chose it to look like Ben but it also just looked really good on Cal, to the point where it's hard to see him with short hair anymore, although I really should try out some of the goofier looks. (so many facial hair options that I hate and look stupid on precious ginger babyface!!!)

I just get soooooo excited about being able to explore and take pictures inside a Star Wars thing, and play dress-up and pick hairstyles and decorate and do all that silly life sim stuff but in space! Games capture such a unique experience of discovering worldbuilding minutiae, and I love having the ability to just look at things and take in the environment at your own pace, it makes me so happy. Even the goofy LEGO game gave me that feeling. It's just so nice! I love wandering! Observing! Interacting! Running my little guys around! Having my own experience that can't be easily ruined by a shitty story!

It's made me reminisce about playable Kylo and Rey in Battlefront and how I wish you could combine them with the exploration/story/gameplay style of the Jedi games and the [nearest approximation of] post-canon Ben Solo of the LEGO game, and THAT would probably be my ideal Star War (outside of, you know, a new movie that checks off every single item on my impossible wish list hahahaaagdhagdsf). Dress them up and customize their lightsabers and their home base and their spaceship and give them a droid friend and a garden and take them on new adventures on new planets… The Dream 😭

I actually started ruminating on whether I can do screencap mashups of Battlefront character models in Survivor outfits/environments, because I can't do mods, I am just a simple photoshopper and console gamer, but I want to pretend!!!!!! The problem is I don’t really like the Battlefront faces because they all look dead in the eyes. :/ The idea I settled on is that I might do some straight-up redraws instead. (WE'LL SEE. But the fact that I'm even mentioning this should tell you how completely lost in the sauce I am.) I briefly went looking and of course people have made Ben Solo mods for Survivor, but what you really gotta do is graft Cal's customization options onto Bode's body type or else it doesn't look right. Y'KNOW?!?? Size… matters……… I'm so sorry Yoda

Anyway!!!!!! Excellent gaming experience despite being terrible at Jedi parkour! Now back to tending my garden, hunting down post-game Force echoes, and rearranging Cal's wardrobe

#star wars #jedi survivor #sw meta #time once again for another round of star wars word vomit #will i find a way to make it about benjamin organa solo? you bet!!#coincidentally posting this while the reylos are melting down on twitter 🙃 every day i am in pain

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cagethefrenchfuc · 2 years

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𝐀𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

Jamilton

Alexander Hamilton x Thomas Jefferson warnings: swearing fake marriage, suicide (not descriptive) Major character death "cheating"

A/N: I apologize if this is horrible, I tried this is a slightly old story that I rewritten I just love jamilton and this was fun to write

Wish this was real- Loving you feels like I'm drowning

Ever since I met you, I knew I loved you and ever since you met me, I knew you didn't.

Love, this word means a lot. Love can have so many different meanings but they all kind of circle back to the same idea a deep care for yourself or something.

Love is scary, the most common love I see people always run back to is the poisonous type, people seem to feed off toxic love, it makes them so vulnerable that they just can't seem to escape it.

Personally, though my love wasn't the poisonous kind it was more like a misunderstanding, miscommunication can be so hurtful, yet still I loved this man until the day I died, if only my love felt the same way as me.

So, with that being said I bet you're wondering what type of love story this is? oh right this is a love story, but I play the role of the best friend.

Ever since the day I met you I knew you were my heaven on earth, my soulmate. Yes, we started off as enemies and it took a while for us to become best friends, but you were always something special to me I couldn't help but feel as if we would grow old together. Die together.

I remember the day you came up with that plan, a plan to get your stupid unapproving rich parents off your back. You pitched the idea to fake get married cause "hey were best friends anyways why not, you're the only person I truly trust."

As your best friend i just wanted to make you happy, so of course I said yes, because how hard would a fake marriage be if you actually wanted to marry that person hm? it should be so easy. I mean you didn't need to know I was actually in love with you, you never asked.

And then everything went smoothly, we had an overdramatic tear inducing fake proposal, your parents believed it just as expected.

Well with a fake proposal comes a fake marriage, your parents did all the payments, and it was beautiful all that beauty and you didn't even love me back. How sad.

And well if you're fake married to someone then you have to live in a house to carry out your very fake lives in it, so your parents bought us this amazing, beautiful house and we got an amazing, beautiful cat and it was so so good for something so sadly fake.

For this plan to work though, there had to be rules, I mean how else were your parents and everybody else believe this fake marriage was real.

The first rule, No going out in public with other potential lovers, example, no meeting up with exes, that could cause public speculation and we didn't need that.

No telling anybody this was fake, obviously that rule should go without saying but it still needed to be said apparently, this means no telling your childhood best friends, not even telling your therapist. This HAD to be as real as possible.

Attending family dinners with your fake husband once every two weeks.

Avoid answering questions the rich parents ask about your personal lives because that could cause a slip up and if they found out then it was all over for you guys and that would be horrible.

Now believe me, everything was amazing, until things started getting really hard, like kissing in front of your parents, or holding your hand in public and calling you mine, or you randomly calling me "Darling" and "My love", every time you said something like that it made me want to cry because it would never actually be real.

It must have been so easy for you because pretending has always been easy for you, you've done it your whole pathetic life.

I remember the day everything just stopped going as smoothly as it had been for years, because you had met him, and oh boy did he make you happy.

You would talk to me about him all the time, you would say things about him I would want you to say about me and it hurt so badly.

I knew it was over once you started breaking your own rules because you were tired of pretending with me, you wanted something real you wanted to be happy.

The day you brought him over to our house and introduced us, the day you kissed him in our bed and started calling him all of those names you called me, and it just wasn't fair, none of this was fair.

Why were you doing this to me?

I know we are supposed to be pretending. Of course, I know that, but I just wanted to be the person you loved and talked about all the time, I hated that you no longer called me all those names, and you no longer were cuddling me in that bed.

All I could ever think these days was, what the hell is wrong with me? what did I do wrong for this to be happening to me? and I couldn't tell you how I felt, or my therapist, or fucking anybody because I still had to obey by your rules when you were out there breaking them and my damn heart at the same time.

Well eventually you came to me, and you told me with every relationship fake or not once one of the partners meet someone new then well it usually means its over, you were ready to give up this fake thing for something real, something that would make you very happy. And I agreed it was time for me to move on and stop being in pain.

So, we set up a date, we were going to go tell your parents we wanted to get a divorce that day was set up one month from the day our conversation took place, He said he'd give me the house and the cat. He just needed a month to find a new place and move all his stuff out.

And in that month, he started ignoring all my texts, he grew very distant, and I grew very sad, yes, I could now talk to my therapist about the situation, but it still really hurt because I truly thought the marriage would be my one shot to grow old with you.

Within two weeks I grew angry because just because you were leaving doesn't mean you had to shut me out, So I started calling drunk and yelling at you because I didn't understand, and I told you just how much you meant to me and how much you were hurting me and you couldn't even talk to me and you couldn't even find it in your heart to talk to me and fucking care.

And with my anger came yours, you started to hate me, and you started to tell me that you did. I never thought ever it'd hear you say you hated me again. Yes, we hated each other in the beginning but I never thought we'd go back to that, and it really hurt because i knew I fucked up and this was all my fault.

A couple of weeks before the meeting with your parents you sent me divorce papers, and a note attached saying you were to upset to hand them to me in person and you felt sorry we couldn't do this in a peaceful way, and you'd see me in a couple weeks and then we would never have to talk again.

It took me a week to sign those papers, I couldn't get my head straight I was in too much pain I kept re-reading that note knowing I shouldn't have told you I loved you, No not even that I just shouldn't have gone through with that plan this was all my fault So I was going to do what you wanted, sign those papers and make sure you never had to see me again.

Two days before the meeting was due with your parents, I sent you a text that the papers were on the table and I wouldn't be strong enough to do the meeting anymore, you could come in the house and get them yourself by then I will already be gone, and you would no longer have to worry about me. And you can finally go and be happy with James just like how you wanted.

I grabbed my car keys and got into my car just to drive that's what I kept telling myself, I told myself that all these bad thoughts were just because of the rain and the car ride would stop them, I kept telling myself that until those bad thoughts got the better of me. And I drove towards that cliff.

I stopped just before the edge of the cliff, and I told myself If I looked at my phone and you had texted me back that you didn't want me out of your life forever and we could at least figure out how to be friends again that I would back away from the cliff and go home and hug you. I looked down and of course there was no text from you, but you did leave me on seen.

I texted you I was sorry; I took my wedding ring off and but my phone and placed that and my phone out the car on the cliff, I took a deep breath and said I would no longer feel like I was drowning I would finally be able to breathe properly I would finally be happy, and this would make you happy too.

I drove my car off the cliff.

Nothing mattered anymore.

It was all over my eyes closed I was now peaceful, that's all I ever wanted was your love and peace. At least one of those came to me in death.

I never saw that last text you sent me.

The last apology and the words I've always wanted from you

That text read: I'm coming home, I have been thinking about what you said and you're absolutely right I have loved you for a while, James made me realize that when I wouldn't stop talking about you, I thought I had loved him, but I just realized I've always imagined doing those things with you. But now I know we are going to work things out and we are going to be happy Fuck the divorce, fuck my parents, fuck all those wasted years. I'm yours now and I cannot wait to love you until the day we die.

I would never know that you came home with flowers and sat down on the couch and waited hours for me to come back to our home, I will never know how many panicked texts you sent me because you just wanted me to hurry up.

I will never know how much you cried when the news reported a car that looked like mine had been discovered at the bottom of a cliff on fire or how when the police came to the door with my phone and wedding ring and said how sorry they were for your lost. I will never know how much you sobbed when you saw the stuff, I would leave in my phone telling the story of us and how I have truly felt over these years.

I will never know your pain as you told your parents what happened.

Or the weight a real funeral for the love of your life could cause.

The real tears as you spoke about me to all of our friends.

The way you wanted to die every time you came and visited my grave with my favorite flowers.

I'll never know these words that you said to me as you sat next to me in the graveyard

"I'm so sorry you had to suffer for the sake of making me happy, I never deserved you and you never deserved the pain and it's still so hard to believe that all of this is real, I want this to be fake so badly, I want to have died with you, life without you doesn't feel real at all Alexander. But it is and i have to learn that it is my time to suffer, and I will be alone until the day I die because that's how you felt right Alex? alone. I'm so terribly in love with you and I should have seen that when you were alive so I will stay the rest of my lifetime sad without you, I deserve to die alone with this pain just like you have I can't take myself out for my own sake. I will go when the world decides its time. I could have changed things If I just had opened my eyes, but I didn't so this is goodbye. I'll visit again next week."

All my love alexander, Your Thomas.

HAHA SUCKERS.

anyhow request are open!!

#jamilton #thomas x hamilton #hamilton fanfic #wattsonswackyworks #alexander hamilton #thomas jefferson #angst #toxic love #unrequited love #heartbreak #unrequited feelings #break up

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chillychive · 11 months

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Thanks for the tag @noworneverphantom !

Are you named after anyone?

My legal name, nope. I was a double rainbow baby and came after 2 deaths in the family so my parents wanted something totally new for me. My chosen (soon to be legal!!!:D) name, is accidentally sort of after a character I love and relate to a lot. I was reading and someone called out the main character, by last name, and I suddenly had this “yea! I’m here!” Moment and I was like wait why did I respond to that-HOLY SHIT I FOUND MY NAME. It’s a funny origin story for sure. My middle name is up for debate still, but if I don’t keep my birth one, I’m going to change it to follow a family naming scheme that I think is hilarious and a good way to subtly follow family tradition.

When was the last time you cried?

Several weeks ago. Honestly, I wish I cried more. It’s very hard for me to cry. I saw the milky way for the first time and just started sobbing. I cried for nearly an hour, just kneeling and staring up at the sky. That may have been the first time i understood that tears aren’t always sad.

Do you have kids?

Nope. I’m too young and despite adoring small little children a lot, I’m not sure I’d ever want kids of my own. I’d be too scared to mess them up. I feel like I could be quite the good parent too, but I couldn’t deal with the stress. Maybe adopting, tho. I’m sure as hell not giving birth. Ever.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I used to be really sarcastic, but I’ve stopped using it as much now. I’m trying to use more positive language and open myself up more to people, and stopping being sarcastic except when I’m parroting back to my friends to show them how insane whatever they’re doing is (I have a bunch of workaholics that somehow adopted me that I often need to stop before they work themselves to death) has helped me a lot to do that.

What sports do/have you played?

Hm. Currently nothing, but I’ve done a lot of odd sports. Probably my most normal is volleyball, which I got pretty good at but I struggled with the people part of team sports and got bored. Before that, I did competitive archery (I wasn’t great, I didn’t practice a lot but I got my 250 pin at my last comp before my coach retired), and swim team (my first summer I was amazing at it, my most recent I sucked so bad but at least I can say with confidence that I have a very strong back stroke).

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their demeanor. I study people a lot (I’m very much the quiet kid who watches everything), and how they carry themselves and how they interact with others is usually the first thing I notice. Their general vibe.

What’s your eye color?

Good question. When I was little they were bright blue and they’ve gotten a bit darker as I’ve grown but still very blue. As I grew up tho, this yellow-green color spread from the inside (no, not jaundice I checked) and now they can look blue, grey or green depending on lighting. I wear glasses, sadly, so I can’t show off how weird my eyes are, but they are very weird, and kinda pretty.

Scary movies or happy ending?

I avoid scary movies at all costs. Me & my ocd brain cannot handle that. I have a very low tolerance for fear. Happy endings are kinda lame and I love screwing over the main characters at the end, but if I had to pick one or the other, happy endings by a long shot.

Any special talents?

I have random knowledge on many odd things, thanks to being a compulsive researcher and internet access. I have a double jointed toe, and jaw (idk either tbh). I can overthink my way into any situation. I can recognize any plant native to my area (edible plants phase when I was 11). I have abt 50% of needed knowledge on most topics. I know most basic codes and often will geek out and learn more. I’m not 100% accurate but I’ll definitely recognize and mostly understand how to solve most basic ciphers. Im also very good at crafts, especially yarn. I am uniquely talented at unraveling balls of tangled yarn.

Where were you born?

In a laboratory where they bred sentient capybaras. Interpret that how u wish. (/nsrs)

What are your hobbies?

Taking on too big projects, writing, drawing, painting, digital art, harassing my friends, singing, piano, rpg, Minecraft, basket making, there’s probably more but I can’t think.

Do you have any pets?

Not unless you count my sibling.

How tall are you?

5’11” im tall lol

Favorite subject in school?

Dang these questions keep getting harder. First you want to know about the lab I was made in, now my favorite school subject?! Probably government, or choir. Choir is my safe space, def my favorite place in school, and the teacher is amazing. Government is fascinating and has a great teacher. In theory, English, but in practice the class is either boring or stressful (basically me going from “ha this is beneath me I’m rlly good at writing” to “oh fuck they actually expect me to *write* things”), so I’m not a huge fan.

Dream Job?

I wouldn’t mind a painfully repetitive job as long as they don’t mind me listening to music/a podcast while I work. But I suppose that’s not a dream job. Perhaps a writer for a sci-fi show. Maybe even Star Trek or Star Wars. It would be fun to have something long running to play with. That would be a good use of my wide skill range and love of space and creating worlds. Or getting to create and mold my own show in that sort of realm to make something truly new (aka sci-Fi as I see it, which seems to disagree with a lot of current creators or sci-fi stories) and getting to watch it unfold would be so beautiful. Watching the worlds I’ve sculpted on spreadsheets and very complicated Google slides explode onto the screen, with all of their mess and people and joy and weird little critters and imaginative ways to make it more realistic would be the most amazing thing. I’d have a hard time not picking up the actors and just going “MY BABY, I MADE YOU!”

On that very weird note, I’m going to tag some people and go to bed. @sadmushroomgoblin @doublemegative @wantmeifyouwantme @dragons-in-spaceee @twincityhacker

(Sry for the double tag, Ik @noworneverphantom already tagged a lotta y’all)

#ask game

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leatherbookmark · 2 years

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oh hey, this sex scene has some things changed/added too

i’m not done with reading yet, so there might be more changes after that (although i don’t think so?) but between wwx asking “does it feel good inside me” and him going “lan zhan you’re dooone for what would your uncle say if he knew you’re fucking before marriage? ;p” there’s a whole scene that’s honestly... kinda cute lol?

basically, wwx asks “does it feel good inside me?” and lwj -- who was either “stupidly straightforward” (japanese meaning) or “dull” (chinese meaning of 愚直) in love, didn’t know how to get along with others and wasn’t particularly talkative, answers by biting wwx’s lips and thrusting harder.

then, wwx goes “lan zhan, lan zhan lan zhan lan zhan -- i really love you to death! i’m yours, i’m only yo-- wait, be more gentle!”. then he tears up again, “as if he was so happy that he went round to sadness”, and asks lwj again to please be gentle, this place is sensitive, don’t just go all out on me, if you do it too hard you’ll break me i’m just a little birthday boy etc etc, THEN (honestly one of my favourite moments, WHAT an absurd man)--

“lan zhan, you’re really the best, not only you’re such a beautiful little thing, you play the qin so well, your calligraphy skills are top notch, you’re a strong and skilled cultivator, you’re so good in bed, why are you so irresistible, how can i not love you--”

poor lwj says nothing, and the narration notes that wwx has been born shameless but also had the property of getting more excited the more shameless nonsense he spouted. lol

then he spreads his legs (meekly, submissively, etc etc) and goes on, basically telling lwj to fuck him more and deeper, come inside etc -- lwj does fuck him deeper indeed, to which wwx is back at his little birthday boy act, nonono, help, that’s not what i meant, this is too much. lwj’s like YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW and wwx once again spreads his legs, once again in a meek/docile way, and eggs lwj on like “gege, lan-gege, i’m going to die, you’re KILLING ME, i’m sorry i’m sorry, this is my first time, please be gentler” to which lwj’s like well ARE you really asking for mercy or doing that on purpo-- STOP moving your hips

wwx goes “someone heeelp pleasee, hanguang-jun, i won’t do it agaaaain” etc etc, lwj kisses his tears and says with audible difficulty that he’s being serious, wwx should stop doing this because he won’t be able to control himsef, that it’s SCARY and he’s sorry. wwx, seeing this, softens in his heart and says “don’t apologize. and if you break me... i really want you to break me”

and then we’re back to the “omg lan zhan you’re done for!” thing, except instead of “…I have long since been like this.”, lwj says “we've already bowed three times” (とっくに三拝した).

i think the original chinese is 早完了 which, since my chinese skills are 50% gtrans and 50% wiktionary/baidu/pleco, doesn’t tell me much lmao. 完了 is “finished, concluded, done, over” and 早 is “early; fast” so the meaning is like “it’s too late/it’s done” but what? what’s already happened? who knows, it’s context city now!

i looked it up on tt, and japanese users are... having problem with it as well lol;;; apparently there was an interview where mxtx said they did bow three times, i think a screenshot is here and it seems she said it happened AFTER they fucked? (生命大和谐 aka “an undescribable scene” gfkjhgjfskg) but do we count the bathtub or the grass as their first time? i think she mentioned adding it in the edited version, but if she did, then i either didn’t notice it or forgot about it OTL;; also, at the end she said “everyone can imagine how it went on their own, it was probably wwx being wild” which. mxtx for god’s sake please. this japanese fan has a whole thread about this mystery, and mentions “we’ve already bowed three times”, “i’m already done for” and “we’re already done for”. hm.

EDIT: AH WAIT I KNOW.

wwxは一旦振り返ると、もう一度江枫眠夫婦の位牌に向かって真面目に数回地面に頭をつけて拝礼してから、lwjと一緒に立ち上がった。

Wei Wuxian turned around for a moment, once again bowed a couple times facing the Jiang Fengmian and his wife’s tablets, and left together with Lan Wangji.

this one? are we supposed to assume lwj bowed here as well... mxtx you are the master of leaving things unsaid in a frustrating way

#liveshrimping

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loonyplenny · 2 years

Text

GAARA WEEK 2022, DAY 1 - Indentify yourself | Cruel strenght

hosted by @justgaara

Maybe not so cruel

World was cruel and you knew it very well.

You were witness of it all, almost every day - living in ninja world, both as shinobi or ordinary citizen, it was hard.

But to you, it seemed harder that being shinobi was the worst. You were one, after all.

By living in Konoha, it looked like you and your frends, as well as other shinobi, were lucky. Other villages, unfortunately, were not that kind.

~~~

That day, you were at streets. Walking alone.

You were feeling adrenaline in your veins and nervousness in your bones.

Chunin exam's soon..., you thought. Chunin exam... infamous chunin exam.

There were many tales of chunin exam and it's cruelty. Most of them contain suffer and kids & other participants dying in horrifying ways.

Everyone were saying that times are diffrent now and that exam wasn't as cruel as before.

Yeah, sure thing.

You didn't belive a thing of their words. And honestly? You were frightened to death.

What could happen? Maybe i should not participate at all...

You were so lost in your own mind, you didn't even see a boy going your way. Collision was inevitable.

- Oh, sorry about that.-

He just stood, looking at you with eyes wide from suprise.

His hair was short and flame red. It remined you of strawberries, with eyes greenish like shallow ocean. He was wearing simple brown clothes, with guard on his back. His headband was telling you that newcomer was from Sunagakure, village in Land of the Wind.

- Hm... Hi. What's your name?-

Boy stayed quiet.

- It is rude not to indentify yourself if someone asks you.-

- I am Gaara of the Sand.-

- Well, Gaara of the Sand, nice to meet you. I'm YN...-

- Do I look like I care?-

You were not expecting that.

- Sorry, did I say something wrong? I really did not want to hur-

- Just don't be in my way or I'll kill you.-, he said coldly and walked away.

You stood frozen. What just happend?

There was some strange energy around that redhaired boy. It felt just... Cruel.

But can it really be like that?

You were not sure.

You saw that he looked at you before he left. His eye weren't as cold as his word sounded.

Then, in Forest of Death, you were witness to that cruel strenght. Entire team from Amigakure was gone, dying in his sand.

It scared you too death. You wanted to run, hide, maybe even cry? Anything, just to stay calm.

But, you started thinking about something - what would make someone do that?

Something bad must have happend to you. Poor boy...

That was just sad.

Yeah, Gaara looked cold, heartless and cruel. Yes, a lot of people were saying he Is dangerouse. And yes, he was scary.

But under coldness of his eye, something deeper was hiding.

~~~

It felt like yesterday, that day you meet at Konoha before the chunin exam.

With new chunin exam rolling in, your nervousness returned.

But this time, you were more calm and it wasn't affectimg you at all.

Actually, you were very happy this was happening again.

I'll see him again.

You found yourself walking alone again.

Just like back then, you smlied at this thought.

You look around. Was it just you or you were at the exact same place where you first saw him?

Then, like out of nowhere, he appeared.

- Gaara! Hey!-, you say cheerfully.

Please, don't be blushing, don't be blushing.

- O-, hi... Y/N?-

You noded, - Yes, that's me. I'm glad you remember.-

Crossing your arms behind your back, you started to sway a bit.

- How have you been, Gaara?-

- I'm alright, I'd say.-

- That's good. Oh, are you feeling alright by being here?-

Look in his eyes smeed sort of frightened.

Great! I messed up.

- Oh, no! Sorry, I didn't mean...-

- Don't apologise. Yes, it feels weird, but that how it should be.-

- Oh... Well, I... Guess you're right there.-

There was long silence between you until you found words you considered good enought and right.

- Do you have to go somewhere? I can take you wherever.-

- That'd help a lot. My brother and sister must be looking for me already.-

-Haaa!-, you whine happly.

- What's wrong?-, he asked.

- You just called them your brother and sister!-, soft smile appeared on your face.

He stoped. Heh, he for sure didn't expect you to say that. Got ya! Totally unready.

- That's what they're to me. What else shall I call them?-

Smile on your face was still warm and you burst into short giggle, starting to walk away.

- You know what, Gaara? You're not that cruel at all.

#gaaraweek2022 #gaaraweek #gaara of the sand #gaara of the desert #gaara #sunagakure #sand village #sand siblings #kazekage #chunin exams #naruto

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mrs-march-ahs · 3 years

Text

How the Evans Cheer You Up

Headcannons and a short imagine for how the boys would cheer you up

I know this idea has been to done to death but I really wanted to have my own go at it. I sincerely hope you like it. I’m still unsure with this one. I tried to make up different reasons for the reader to be upset, I hope they all sound like reasonable reasons to cry. :)

Tate

-Notices you’re upset, so he comes and approaches you slowly

-Understands if you don’t want to talk about it

-Subtly checks your wrists to make sure you haven’t cut yourself

-Comes and rubs your back

-Tries to make some light jokes to see how they land

-If he’s in a particularly goofy mood, he’d come and tickle you to cheer you up

----

Tate’s heart races as he runs up the stairs and stands in front of the door to your bedroom. With you still alive, occasionally school days and family trips set you two apart for longer periods of times. After not seeing you for a long weekend, he opens the door to your room, and looks at you laid on the bed, facing the window. He quietly walks in and shuts the door behind him, before creeping you behind you. Then, suddenly, he jumps up on the bed and puts his hands on your tummy, tickling away. You look up at him angrily and push him off you, making him open his mouth in shock.

“Heyyy, I’m sorry, I’m just messing about… just happy to finally see you”, he says happily and leans in for a kiss, but you lean back and look at him. He sits down, genuinely hurt at your reluctance.

“Should I… leave?”, he says quietly, like he’s afraid of the answer. But instead of giving him one, you explain your worries.

“Tate… we got turbulence… really really bad”. He softly takes your hands and kisses your knuckles, slightly calmed down by the fact you’re not mad at him.

“I know it’s scary, but it happens, baby”

“No…no… I thought I might die”, you pull your hands away from him. “Tate, what if I died? Away from the house?”. Your voice gets louder and shakier, and tears fill your eyes. Tate quickly swoops you onto his lap and wraps his hands tightly around you.

“What… is our future? We can’t move out together… we-…”, you are interrupted by Tate shushing you, and holding your face so you look at him.

“Stop worrying so much about the future, I just want to be with you now”, Tate says. Every word that comes out of his mouth drips with sadness and worry, but his eyes look hopeful and… in love.

Kit

-Comes up behind you and softly talks to you, to not scare you

-Stands behind you and wraps his arms around you

-Kisses your cheek or your shoulder

-Wipes or kisses your tears away

-Suggests doing something together like watching a film

-Cuddles you throughout and makes sure you’re watching and not distracted

-Insists you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to

-A few days after you being upset, he would subtly try to talk to you about what you were upset about

-Always up for ways to be a better husband and ways to improve the relationship

---- Taking a step towards the fridge, you slip slightly on the butter you dropped earlier. You manage to hold onto the counter and not fall completely, but groan loudly in annoyance. Today wasn’t your day. You wipe the floor clean and get eggs out of the fridge, and as you take one out of the carton, you are greeted with the sound of the front door opening, and your husband entering. You turn around and he gives you a big warm smile. You manage to return the smile, and you focus on cracking the egg on the edge of the bowl. “Whatchu makin’, Miss Walka?”, he questions.

“Cupcakes, red velvet, your favourite”, you say with a monotone voice. You crack the egg into the bowl and sigh loudly when a part of the shell falls in. Kit walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist, and you fish the shell out of the bowl. He kisses your shoulder lovingly, watching you stir the bowl, and lets out a breathy laugh when some of the flour spills out and falls on the floor.

“Lemme get that, clutz”, Kit laughs, and bends down to wipe the floor with a towel. But once he stands back up and goes to kiss your cheek, he notices the tears in your eyes and immediately squeezes you into a tight hug.

“Hey, hey”, he warmly coos, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t know it’d upset you”. Guilt fills your heart when you hear Kit blaming himself.

“It’s not that”, you sniffle into his chest, “I can’t seem to get anything right today”. You look up at the ceiling, refusing to cry over spilled flour. Kit looks down at you with a worried expression and cups your cheek. He kisses your nose and rubs your back, and all the subtle, sweet and loving gestures together make you cry. You quickly push your face against his chest and breathe in his scent, hoping to calm down. Kit doesn’t judge you, instead rests his head against yours and continues to rub your back. You take a deep breath of Kit’s aroma and can’t help but feel safer and protected. A combination of his muscly arms wrapped around you and his manly smell feels like home.

Kyle

-At first, he’d solely try to cheer you up and hope it’s nothing major

-"Heyyyy, what’s with the tears, hm?”

- Rub your back and ask what’s wrong

-Wouldn’t take “fine”, or “it’s nothing” for an answer

-He’d squat down next to your bed and look at you as you told him

-He’d listen carefully and keep strong eye contact as you told him, to show he’s listening

-Would stroke your cheek as you told him and wipe any tears away

-Would suggest going to a party or going out bowling or doing something fun

- “I don’t want you in your bed rotting away in sadness, let’s go ice-skating”

-But if you wanted to, he would definitely have a movie night

- “Hey since we’re going to watch a whole loada movies anyway, how about Star Wars?... Hey hey no don’t cry”

Franken Kyle

-Would come and sit with you

-Touch your tears and then look at his finger

-He wouldn’t know what’s happening but he’d know it’s bad

-He’s point at your watery eye

-Look at you concerned

----

You sob quietly into your pillow and take deep breathes, trying to calm yourself down. It was the afternoon, and you knew it was soon time to make some dinner for Kyle, and make sure he eats it. You loved him with every inch of your soul, and you didn’t mind taking care of him, but sometimes it felt you were raising him. The pressure of shaping him to be a member of society sometimes got to you too much, but always let it slide. After so long of it rotting inside you, the built-up pressure and guilt overflowed and you couldn’t help but spend a minute crying. You sniffle quietly and soon see the door very slowly open, and Kyle’s blank expression peeking out. You smile at him and quickly sit up, and as he closes the door and walks towards you, you try to wipe all of your tears to not concern him. He looks at your face closely with furrowed and intrigued eyebrows and points at your tear-filled eye. You sniffle and put your hand on his shoulder.

“These are called ‘tears’, Ky”, you gently explain to him. He knew a few words, and though communication wasn’t the biggest issue, it took him a while to get comfortable using new words, and he got frustrated very easily when he got things wrong. Looking at him open his mouth and his dry lips tremble, your heart shattered, knowing that he has so much to say but struggles to express himself. A tear escapes your eye and rolls down your cheek, and you sigh softly. Kyle cups your cheek with his warm hand and looks at you.

“T-Tears…mm…bad”, he grunts, “No…tears”. He wipes your tear with his thumb and puts his arm around you. You melt against his soft skin and can’t help but smile, reassured that you’re doing your job right.

Jimmy

-He’d focus on cheering you up rather than listening

-He’d keep making jokes to lighten the mood

-He’d just want to see you smile rather than fix the problem

-He would cuddle you though

-And he’d stroke your hair and back

-Might tell you about his day to distract you, or tell you a story

-Subtle compliments

-“You’re too pretty to be upset”

- “What does my princess have to be sad about?”

- “Who upset my little girl? Does somebody need a Jimmy Darling ass-kicking?”

----

The warmth of Jimmy’s hands rubbing your back comforts you, as you push your face against his chest and sniffle into it softly. He pulls the blanket from the end of the bed over both of you and puts his head on top of yours. He gently shushes against your head and you breathe deeply, trying to calm yourself.

“Hey, look at me doll”, he says softly, and looks down at you. You wipe your face against his shirt and look up at him, making him grimace and laugh.

“I know this shirt is white, but I think you’re confusing it with a tissue”.

You can’t help but laugh, looking at the massive wet stain on Jimmy’s chest. Jimmy smiles down at you, finally seeing your beautiful smile, and pulls you back into his chest. He places a tender kiss on the top of your head, knowing that this too, will pass.

James

- “Darling, has something upset you?”

-Would not take no for an answer, even if you really didn’t want to talk about it

- “Who’s responsible for your tears? I demand an answer…the person to upset my Queen must pay”

-If you weren’t upset at somebody and just had a bad day, he’d ask to cuddle

- “Physical contact always comforts you; shall we engage in affection?”

-He’d hesitantly stroke your hair as you cried into his chest

-If you explained why you were upset, he would have an intense conversation with you about it

-If you were insecure for example, he would sit you up and look into your eyes and tell you how incredible you are

-Not softly, though

----

James’ eyes wander around the room, desperately searching for the right things to say to try and comfort you, as you gently sniffled against his chest. He holds his hands on your lower back while you straddle him, and he occasionally slides his finger across your cheek and wipes your tears against the bed. The silence of your sadness kills James, and he speaks up.

“I simply do not understand how you could look in the mirror, wearing that dress, and not fall in love”

You sigh softly and close your eyes, knowing you already explained it to him when he walked in on you trying it on, upset in the mirror at how you filled the dress.

“I look terrible, it’s such an important night, such a gorgeous dress, and I’m ruining everything”, you whimper. “I might as well not go at all… just go to Devil’s night tomorrow by yourself. I don’t want to ruin your birthday by you having to show up with me”.

The self-depreciating words about your appearance make James gasp and push you back to face him. He cups your face with both hands and looks you deep in your emerald/ ocean colored/ chocolate/ grey /hazelnut eyes.

“Nonsense darling!”, he says, looking at you with puppy eyes and pleading eyebrows. “I simply must be accompanied to Devil’s night by my beautiful bride”. You exhale softly and look at him, knowing how much this means to James.

“When I first laid my eyes on you, I felt immediate infatuation”, he says softly, hoping to make you melt. “If you had told me that the gorgeous woman blessing my hotel with her presence will one day become Mrs. March, I wouldn’t have believed you, and I would have sent Iris to buy a lottery ticket”.

Although the sweet words made you smile, you found it hard to believe that you landed such an incredible man, and that he was that in love with you.

“Thank you, Jimmy”, you reply, hoping to see James smile. But he doesn’t.

Instead, he frowns. “It breaks my heart to know that you don’t believe me”.

You lean into his hand and close your eyes for a second.

“I’m sorry, my self-esteem is all over the place. I have better and worse days”.

“As we all, darling. But somebody like you shouldn’t question their worth, even on the worst of days”. James places a passionate kiss on your trembling lips, and pulls you into his chest.

Kai

-He would enjoy seeing you upset, mainly because every weakness is an opportunity for growth

-But also it’d turn him on

-He wouldn’t be soft on you, put his arm around you, or even squat next to you

-He’s sit by you and make you talk yourself out of being upset

-If you learned into to hug him, he’d refuse

-He’d insist that you can resolve this yourself

-He’d tell you that he’s proud of you once you did overcome it

-If you solved the problem or talked yourself out of it, but were still gloomy for the day, then he might be a little softer

-Not physically but he’d give you a few compliments to cheer you up

- “I knew you’d be able to solve this yourself”

----

You sit on the sofa with your head in your hands, looking at the ground. Tears fill your eyes, and your heart feels like it’s shrinking. You blink hard and watch the tears fall to the ground, and sink into the carpet, leaving tiny wet patches. In the silent basement, with your tears splashing and quiet weeps being the only sound, you heard immediately as Kai walked down the stairs, but you didn’t dare to look up at him, knowing that he would never console you. Although you knew Kai very well, and knew that he didn’t really have a soft side, you couldn’t help but feel comforted by his presence, and when he sits down next to you on the couch, you look up at him and put your arms around him. But as usual, he leans away from the hug and holds your wrists. He lays them gently on your lap and looks at you, with slight concern in his eyes.

“What’s the matter?”, he whispers to you.

“I’m worried that you’ll leave me…for somebody better”, you reply, trying to keep your cries at bay, knowing Kai can’t stand sniffling and sobbing.

“Somebody better”, he echoed.

“Somebody w-with views like yours… somebody you could talk to better than you can with me”

“You’re scared I’ll leave you for somebody with views like mine”

“I mean… I know you’re not dating me for my views and they’re n-not that important but…maybe”, you explain yourself. Though Kai wasn’t saying anything new, repeating your sad words to you made you realize how they sounded.

“I know it’s unreasonable”, you continue, “But I’m insecure”. He hums listening to you and shakes his head slowly, watching you wipe your tears. Ever since dating Kai, you always felt like you needed validation from him for everything. Even the way you felt. So, despite him not asking, you go on mumbling about your insecurities.

“I know y-you love me but- ”, you hesitate. You look up at him with your sad pleasing eyes and he gives you a loving and reassuring smile. You look into his eyes and whisper, “no buts”. He smiles wider at you and puts his arm around you.

“I knew there was no reason for me to intervene”, he says softly and cups your cheek. “You talked yourself out of it, all by yourself”. He rubs your tears with his thumb and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. Perhaps Divine Ruler did have a soft side after all.

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angels-fluff · 3 years

Note

Ok, so I noticed that your requests are open. I'm in dire need for more Husk x Reader. So, really, anything is cool with me. Especially fluff XD

Sorry that this took so long, I hope you enjoy it still! I apologize ahead of time as it's been a while since I've written a one-shot or at all, really. But I love Husk so here you go!

NOTE: This version of Husk is based off of a fan theory on his backstory where Husk fought in the Vietnam war. In this headcanon for him, he had been engaged when he was drafted. His fiance became upset that he had left her and cheated on him with his childhood best friend. Husk then drank himself to death and ended up in hell and made a deal with Alastor, at first asking that he take away his ability to love, something Al was unable to do for him. So that's a bit of this version of Husk's story! Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stuck...

It was getting late and while he knew he needed to turn in soon for some rest, Husk was still wide awake. It was hard being so far away from home, so far away from his fiance and family. Even with that aside, this war had been violent and letting your guard down for even a second could result in tragedy. Perhaps he’d instead offer to stay on look out while the other soldiers rested. Or maybe he just needed to unwind, read some mail and try to get some shuteye anyway?

Looking over to the small stack of still sealed envelopes, Husk shuffled through them a bit, stopping on a specific one that made his heart both melt and ache at the same time. Admiring the way their handwriting flowed across the front of the envelope. The one thing that he knew for sure in all of this uncertainty was that (y/n) would always be able to ease his nerves no matter where he was. Just thinking about them was enough to soothe him and put his mind to rest even for just a few minutes.

That was when he decided to open it the letter that he had been holding onto for the past couple of days. Eagerly, he opened the letter and carefully unfolded the pages that had been compacted to fit.

“Dearest Husk,

I hope you are doing well, I’ve been keeping busy myself. It’s been really hard to go on each day without you here. I started a new job, I’ve been enjoying it quite a bit.

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but I have moved on. I started spending quite a bit of time with Jimmy, I know you two have been best friends since childhood, so please don’t take this out on him. He’s kept me company when I get lonely now that you’re gone. He treats me good and I’ve fallen head over heels in love with him.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t keep my life on hold, waiting for you forever. It’s time for me to move on from all of that and pick my life back up.

I hope you’ll understand,

(y/n).”

As his eyes continued to reread each line, trying to make sense of the letter that he had just read, Husk felt his heart sinking further with every word. A small, emotionless laugh escaped from his mouth, unsure of if he should be more sad or angry.

This couldn’t be happening, this war couldn’t be taking them away from him too. He didn’t have a choice! He was drafted, it’s not like he could just say no to the government, not without serious repercussions. And his childhood best friend nonetheless, had he always had eyes for them? Even before he was drafted into this damn war?

His chest was getting tight, it felt hard to breathe, this couldn’t be happening, not now when they were what he needed the most. How could he possibly keep going after this? To keep living a life that wasn’t even worth living? A life where everyone left him no matter what he did to try to make it up to them?

“Husk! Sweetheart, wake up!” (y/n)’s voice called out, causing further frustration. Why was he hearing their voice? Why did he have to be this distraught over one person?

“Husk wake up, you’re having another nightmare, hun.” Their voice rang out once more.

That’s when the feline’s eyes snapped open, sitting over the demon with a worried expression on their face, sat (y/n). They were brushing back the messy fur that lay on top of his head as he breathed heavily.

“Hun, did you have another one of those nightmares? ...About her?” they asked, concern still laced in their voice.

“I uh-sorry.” Husk cleared his voice, sitting up and gently resting a paw on his partner’s hand to try to reassure them that he would be alright.

“Yeah, it was another like that, but…It was you.” He admitted, albeit sheepishly. “And before you go and freak yourself out, I know you’re not like that. I’m not saying you are, I just…” His other paw reached up to rest his face in, frustrated. “It felt real. The damn nightmares always do.” Husk huffed quietly.

“I know what you mean though, nightmares like that usually do. It’s what makes them so scary, you don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. You don’t even realize that it’s all just a dream most of the time until after you already wake up.”

Husk nodded as (y/n) spoke, it was true, all he could really do was endure that same pain all over again until he had woken up and realized that it wasn’t real. While the feline was well aware that his partner wasn’t the type to leave in such a cruel way or that he was no longer out on the battle field, there was still fear there. Fear and pain from the past that occassionally still ate at him, one that not even alcohol could really cure, even temporarily. The fear of losing (y/n) and having to go through another heartbreak would be way too much for him. His last heartbreak had been so hard that he had not only lost his life in the end, but also caused him to beg and plead with a certain overlord to simply just remove his ability to love. That, was not something that even Alastor was able to grant him, ultimately resulting in indulging further into his alcoholism.

(Y/n) knew their lover’s background and had quickly picked up on these fears, especially when the post traumatic stress nightmares had really started becoming more and more frequent for him. Yet they had been there by his side ever since they had fallen into hell.

“Well, I can’t change what I do in your nightmares, but I can prove that this isn’t a continuation.” (Y/n) smiled and left a small kiss on Husk’s cheek, his fur gently tickling them as they did so. The demon’s shoulders fell a bit, seemingly easing any tension that he had previously bottled up from the stress of the morning.

He uncovered his face, offering a small smile and a little nudge. “That’s definitely you this time.” he chuckled a bit.

“I brought you some coffee, the way I made mine last time! Because you said you liked it.” (Y/n) gestured over to the nightstand where a mug rested, filled with hazelnut mocha coffee, steam gently rising from it to show it was freshly brewed.

“Oh-Thanks. I’m surprised you remembered that I liked it.” Husk decided to let it sit a few more minutes before trying to drink it. The last thing he needed was to burn his tongue off despite admittedly being rather excited for the drink that his partner had made for him.

“Of course I remembered!” (y/n) smiled, their response making Husk chuckle once again. “And Husk?”

“Hm?” Gently, he picked up the mug to take a small sip and test the temperature.

“I know what she did to you, I know that it’s hard for you to do this sometimes, the whole relationship thing...But I promise that you’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. I’ve been really happy being with you, I love sharing stories with each other and you rolling your eyes at my jokes and you making me random drinks to try so you can laugh at me when I make weird faces about it. I love it more than anything and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, not even a ticket straight to heaven. Being here with you, I know it’s where I’m supposed to be and you can tell me that I can leave all you want, but I don’t want to. I want you, I want us, I want this.” (Y/n) held onto Husk’s paw, giving it a squeeze.

Husk set his mug down once again and leaned over to give (y/n) a small kiss.

“I want you too (y/n), as long as you want to be here. So I guess you’re stuck with me too then?” he smiled, the demon absolutely melting as his partner looked back at him.

“Till the end of time.”

#husk x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #oneshot #x reader #hazbin hotel husk

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holycow99 · 3 years

Text

石田お寿司 12/9/21 stream translation Part 4

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.

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(t/n: ** means translation may not be accurate.)

I: We’re talking about the commemoration of 30,000 subscribers, right? What should we do?

C: Is this a chatting stream?

I: Well, yeah.

C: Let’s play game now.

I: I’m totally okay with it.

C: I feel bad that I pinned this person’s comment. Should I unpin it? This is what’ll happen if you guys aren’t careful with your comments. You’ll be exposed. I’ll forgive this person.

C: Please do streaming of you working on lyrics.

I: I’m totally okay with something like that.

C: Have you ever received hair?

I: I did receive something similar. A deep red colour. Was it a wig or something? This is a true story.

C: Scary!

I: I didn’t think it was scary though. I was like “I see…”. It was unique.

C: Have you received a marriage registration form?

I: No, but I once received a purikura photo from a gal. The letter was cute. She’s seriously a gal, with the round letters and all. She’s super young and the purikara was cute. The content of the letter was hilarious. She’s like “Let’s hang out!”, “It’s fun!” “I read TG! I don’t understand it, but it’s fun!”. She’s totally a gal. It was amazing. How did I get that? That’s a good one, though I didn’t get to hang out with her.

C: Eh, is it okay to send purikura?

I: I’ll just take a look at it if you send one. I won’t do anything about it. Nothing will happen.

C: Impressive move.

I: Right? But I think it’s the culture. I wanna experience this kind of culture as well. I want gals and Exile fans to read my works, not just people who have read TG. I wanna write something that everyone can enjoy.

C: You wanna interact with gals?

I: I wanna try. Normally, you won’t be able to, right? Have I ever talked to a gal before? A real gal. Avu-chan was super gal-like. Avu-chan is a gal. My first encounter with a gal was with Avu-chan from Queen Bee.

*He’s imitating Avu-chan’s way of talking.

I: I see. So there’s a lot of way to enjoy TG.

C: Seems like you’d be a grandpa.

I: Definitely the case if I ever meet a gal.

C: Are you extremely close with her (avu-chan)?

I: I’m the type who approach the other party. Well, I’m sure everyone is like this, but don’t you have different personas? I wasn’t pretending or anything, but I wore a gal persona for the first time when I was with Avu-chan. Avu-chan has a gal-like personality, so I thought I also needed a new persona. By the way, have you played the game Persona? Just like how the main character attained new personas, the gal persona came out aggressively from behind me and possessed me.

I: Akechi is cool, right? (t/n: Akechi is a character from Persona 5.)

C: Please impersonate Avu-chan.

I: Avu-chan’s impersonation? “But then~”. How is it again? “Sui Sensei is~”. But she talks about deep stuffs, even though she’s a gal. Although she’s a gal, she’s someone with a lot of knowledge.

C: can you read gal’s alphabet?

I: I can if I try hard enough.

I: I wanna include a gal character in choujin x.

C: Sensei seems to have high communication skill.

I: I don’t think so. There’s a term called ‘communication monster’. My friend, Takahashi Kunimitsu form Osterreich is a communication monster. He knows how to hype people up, since he doesn’t say offensive things.** He can join in conversations with anyone, anywhere like a clown. Then, he’ll be very tired after that. It’s wearing him out on top of having a high communication skill. That is a communication monster. I can join in a conversation as well, but unless it’s with someone I’m fond with, I won’t. It’s tiring.

C: People who are good at getting along with others do exist.

I: Yes. He’s good at that.

I: Kunimitsu’s seriously amazing. He got along with a granny he just met in a bar. I just listened to their conversation the entire time.

C: Isn’t that considered as a communication disability if you get tired by it?

I: I do think it’s a sign of communication disability**, But again, that’s just another side of it. It’s the same as shy people who can speak well.

C: Was it the one you posted on twitter?

I: Yup. The one at the bar in Nogata. Was it in Nogata? Probably there. But I think band men have great communication skill, since they meet various types of people.

Y****: I don’t like gals.

I: That’s not good. You’re in the theatre club, after all. Someone involves in theatres can’t be bias. It’s okay if you don’t like them, but it’s better to come across them.

C: Is it important to talk and meet with various people?

I: Hm, I wonder. I think it’s important, especially when you’re still shaping your identity. I speak like this because I didn’t manage to meet and get along with people. I was super serious whenever I was invited to a live show, like the time I met Mr. TK. I was super serious every time I met people when I was in my 20s.

C: You did meet Gegegay, right? (t/n: Tokyo Gegegay is a Japanese dance & music group.)

I: I did. I might not be able to converse with him if I didn’t come prepared. They’re super nice though. Mr. Mikey’s punch was strong. I was like “so we’re gonna have this kind of conversation on our first meeting.”. But it was really entertaining. He’s actually being considerate of me. Somehow, I’ve had a conversation with Mr. Mikey and Ms. Reol, just the three of us remotely. Mr. Mikey was really considerate during the conversation to make it very enjoyable. I was amazed by it.

(t/n: Mikey is the leader of Tokyo Gegegay. Reol is a Japanese singer.)

C: Have you ever met Hirose Alice? (t/n: Hirose Alice is an actress. She’s a big fan of TG.)

I: Nope. I think it’s better not to meet her. There’s no chance to meet her.

C: Who’s the person you’re most nervous with when you met them?

I: It’s hard to tell, but I felt nervous every time I met someone for the first time. Then, the feeling gradually disappeared after I got to know them. That’s not good, isn’t it? But, when I met Togashi sensei, it’s more like a dream. It’s an indescribable feeling when I met him. I was like “This kind of feeling exists.” I was nervous when I met Avu-chan as well. But rather than feeling nervous, since she was very nice, I was able to talk a lot. It was fun.

*Someone asked if he had meet Masataka Kubota.

I: I’ve met him.

C: Do you have a mentor?

I: Probably Hara sensei. The word ‘mentor’ is hard to describe. But, he’s somewhat a mentor-like presence to me. I don’t know.

C: Do you like Yonezu Kenshi?

I: That’s needless to say. Everyone likes him.

*Someone asked if he’s met Horikoshi Kohei sensei (BNHA’s author).

I: Nope. We have the same age.

C: He drew the draft while lying down, right? (t/n: OP probably talking about Togashi sensei.)

I: He showed me how he did the draft.

*Someone asked if he’s met Inoue Takehiko sensei (Slam dunk’s author.)

I: Nope. If Hara sensei is considered as my mentor, though I can just call him that, Inoue Takehiko sensei would be my mentor uncle.

C: Was Masataka Kubota good-looking?

I: He’s super good-looking.

*Someone asked if he’s met Kotoyama sensei (Dagashikashi’s author).

I: I’ve never met her.

*Someone asked if he’s met Araki Hirohiko sensei (Jojo’s author).

I: Nope. Wait, I did. It was when I was still an assistant. My senior, Matsubara Toshimitsu sensei, who’s writing a manga called Kurogane no Valhallian in Young jump, was like “Araki Hirohiko is here! Let’s meet him for a bit!”, and I agreed to him. Araki sensei is on another level, as expected. He’s super-duper famous, after all. All the assistants were surrounding him, asking him for pictures. When it was our turn, my smile was so stiff when I took a picture with him. I was too nervous. It was a distorted smile. Then, Mr. Matsubara accidentally stepped on Araki sensei’s foot. He’s like “I’m sorry! I accidentally stepped on your foot!” By the way, I went to the new year’s party in my pajama, which had curry on the sleeve and took a picture with Araki sensei. The clothes were shabby. Since Araki sensei was a nice person, He complimented me saying the it was fashionable. I was so thankful. He complimented my pilled and curry stained clothes. I was happy for that. I went there wearing pajama because I didn’t have any other clothes. The clothes were in a white colour. I went there wearing a parker with dull pants. He was really cool. Very young-looking and a wonderful person.

C: Have you gotten a chance to meet Miura Kentaro sensei (Berserk’s author)?

I: No, I’d never met him. I liked him a lot. I still like him. I can’t continue talking about him. It’s too sad. I can’t express how I feel other than I’m sad. Death. Regarding this, I wish people wouldn’t pray to the dead souls so casually. I don’t like praying to the dead souls nor do I like people doing that as well.

C: Have you met Mengo sensei (Scum’s wish’s author) and Aka sensei (Kaguya sama’s author)?

I: I’ve met Ms. Mengo a long time ago. She’s always present at parties. She’s quite stand out as well. She’s wearing cat ears the first time I met her. It was cute. I think I have met Akasaka sensei. Probably just introduced myself.

C: You’re a mangaka, but have you been surprised by other mangakas’ personalities?

I: Pretty much. Like their images or...Well, aren’t you like that with everyone? Isn’t it normal to be surprised by their images, physiques, and voices? Since you never imagine about those things.

C: I want you to meet Isayama sensei.

I: Isayama sensei’s also the same age as me.

C: I have met Itagaki Keisuke sensei (Baki’s author)!

I: So you’ve met him. I see.

C: Have you met Inagawa Junji (actor & director)?

I: I want to.

*Ishida was about to read a comment but stopped.

I: People will keep asking who I’ve met if I answer this, so I’ll skip it.

*He still answered the question.

I: I’ve never met Ryuuichi (illustrator & character designer). He’s gotten married. He looks happy, so it’s all well. Ever since before, I didn’t think he had to be that self-asserting. He didn’t need to tell who he was. It’s already written in his account. I was like “Don’t worry, everyone knows. Everyone sees it.” Well, he looks happy, above all.

C: I was excited seeing Hara sensei at the Kingdom exhibition.

I: Oh, he was there.

Part 5

#ishida sui #tokyo ghoul #jack jeanne #choujin x #chojin x #ishida sushi channel

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sideblogformindtrash · 3 years

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CW: Deshumanization; pet/slave whump; conditioning; bruising; some self-hatred; swearing; the inevitability of our death :’)

Prev it was supposed to just be a fun lil thing but I ruined it with deep rooted insecurities about life the universe and everything else and monologues

He could have kicked that door down easily. But he wanted Haru to learn. He sat crossed legged on the floor, watching him try to open the door. The house loomed over them, casting a shadow. Orfeu couldn’t help but feel it would look good if it was on fire… At least right now, with the pretty oranges and reds of the twilight.

Haru, however, was nervous. He kept glancing at him all the time, as if trying to see if he was doing something wrong. It must have felt like a very unnatural thing for him, to try and pick a lock. It would be something worthy of punishment on the past, he figured. And now, against all odds, it was his ‘Master’ that was coaching him to do it.

It had been months now. Yet he kept waiting for it. For a blow that would never come. At least… At least not from him. He absently mindedly touched the bruise on his eye, pressing… Making it hurt. Life is a bitch. Life is a fucking bitch.

Your fault, your fault, your fault – the darkness echoes, from the woods around them. He ignores. He doesn’t want to deal with their shit right now.

At this moment, the important thing is teaching Haru and making sure he doesn’t panic. Calm, but firm voice. Reassuring words. He is getting better at it… But not much. He still sucks at dealing with people.

Click. Then a small gasp from Haru. He looks back at Orfeu, not wanting to move his shaky hands.

“Yes, that’s it, don’t need to be scared. This is good. You found the little lever. Turn the other one a bit… Yeah, like this. Now see if you can find another one, a bit further down the lock.”

Because one day he might just need this… Orfeu wanted to be there for him. For the first time in his life, he felt… Like he had someone. A someone who was warming up to him a little bit every day. And yeah, Haru was scared of him too, sure, but not because he was a monster. Haru wasn’t scared because he saw him as a fucking freak… He was scared because he had been hurt in the past, and living in fear was all he ever knew. It was only natural.

So… Orfeu was willingly to do anything to keep him safe. And for as long as he was around he would make sure nothing could happen to the boy. Except… What if he wasn’t around anymore? What would happen to him? He pulled the bruised skin around his eye, pinching and twisting it between his fingernails.

Life is fragile.

Fragile, fragile, fragile – echoes the darkness yet again.

If things were good, he would always be there to offer safety for Haru. If they weren’t… Haru would be able to unlock some of the doors they would put to stop him. And it would hopefully be enough of them for him to escape. There was still anger on Haru. He was still willing to fight against all that bullshit he had been forced to take. And Orfeu wanted to see that spark turn into a fire.

Click.

One more anxious glance.

“You are doing very good, Haru. Now, you just need to feel one more of these little levers and turn the other one around and…”

…The door opened.

He smiled.

“Good. Very good.” He got up to his feet and messed with the boy’s hair. He smiled back, shy and a bit relieved. Orfeu knew that must have been one scary, stressful task for him. It wasn’t exactly easy. He entered the house first, and let the cobwebs stick to his face and hair “Watch where you step okay? It’s quite an old place.”

Old, and dusty and empty. Just the entrance hallway was bigger than his entire home, it seemed. There were no ghosts that he could see. That was disappointing, he had been promised ghosts. Although Haru did kind of look like one, pale, white curls of hair falling past his waist, dressed on clothes far too big for his thin form. If he were to walk on the side of a road at night, it would give some poor driver’s a heart attack.

The boy walked slowly, very carefully, a bit mesmerized by the view. Had he ever seen a place like this? Had he ever known anything other than far too pristine houses and white-tiled rooms?

Probably not. Orfeu had it bad. He had it bad since the beginning of his life. And even then, he knew it was nothing compared to what Haru had gone through. Him and all the others like him… To a point where they refused to believe they were just as human as their ‘Masters’. To a point where the first time Haru stepped on grass… He cried, because he had never really been allowed outside.

…To a point where he looked like part of an old, decrepit house. He was a ghost, on the center of the empty hall, too oppressed by the weight of that ambiance to look up from his feet. And yet… There was fight on him.

“It’s okay. You can look around, okay? Nothing bad will happen” Slowly, the boy lifts his head again. And he fights to breathe. “I know it doesn’t look like a friendly place… But it’s not bad either. It has just been here for far too long.”

He opens his mouth. Tries to speak. No sound. Not even a whimper. But he is trying and that is good.

Scribbled notes on the pink notebook.

‘Is this house yours master?’

He smiles again, laughing a bit.

“No. Not really.”

‘Who does it belong to? Why is it *unreadable* Like this?’

“No one. It was ab-“ He shut his stupid mouth. Abandoned. That was a trigger word. He had learned that one already “It doesn’t belong to anyone.”

He looks and mouths… ‘Why’.

“It has survived longer than any of them, I guess.” And yet not a single ghost.

He nods, and let’s himself explore a little bit, touching the old furniture carefully, as if at any point something would jump from the shadows and attack him. Orfeu walks towards the curtains. The. Longest. Fucking. Curtains. He has ever seen. He yanks one out of the windowsill, throws it around his body like a dress.

One, two, three steps of some waltz he doesn’t really know how to dance, hands holding an imaginary partner. Haru stares at him with curiosity.

“You know that scene from Beauty and the Beast?” He looks confused. He doesn’t know because why would he? Happiness is not allowed on the world he came from “We could re-enact that. Pretty sure you are the Beauty part of the deal… And I’m not really the Beast, I hope. Probably just the talking chandelier. Or the curtain-boy, that works too.”

He stops his silly little dance. Haru is smiling at him. But now, now he sees the ghost. Two of them, an old man and a Labrador, on the hallway upstairs. He walked after them, forgetting his own advice of watching his steps.

Haru followed him, much more carefully. The smell of tobacco hit him in once he was upstairs, from the pipe of the old man. Haru watched him carefully… He couldn’t really see the ghosts, could he? So in his eye it was just his Master acting like a lunatic yet again. Oh well.

Freak. Freak. Freak. – The darkness taunt. The ghost of the dog barks, and the darkness shuts the fuck up. For once. The old man lets out a trail of smoke. He talks to an invisible someone, inside one of the bedrooms. A memory. Pets the ears of the Labrador.

He is about to speak with them but…

“M-Ma” Haru chokes. His breathing is now audible. His eyes are closed, as if just making those sounds is a huge effort. He is holding a little paper… So Orfeu must have been focusing on the ghost for longer than he thought. Enough to maybe ignore Haru for a bit. “Mas.. Ma..T..” It’s okay. He smiles, patiently. Let him speak. This is good. Is good that he is trying right? It’s good “Mas..T…Te…r”.

He gasps as he finishes, a long sigh and his eyes are open again. An immense effort… and hell, Orfeu is proud of him. He pets the boy’s head once again, before accepting the note he is being offered.

‘Do Hous…

May

Can I ; Can your pet make a question?’

Orfeu nods. Something hard is coming now… Or he wouldn’t bother asking if he was allowed to ask.

“Always. Is good that you are asking questions, okay?”

Blue eyes look at him, sad, not really believing. Alright. Scribble, scribble, scribble.

‘Will the house of Haru’s this slave’s *unreadable* previous owners *unreadable* be like this someday?’

“Yeah. It will.”

He nods…. His anxiety seems to be pilling up. Scribbles.

‘This place had a Master? Did they have pets like me?

“I’m not sure. They had dogs, the… Hm, canine type?” Which reminds him… The ghosts are gone. Lost interest, probably. More scribbling sounds… and Haru looks distressed.

‘Master’s homes can’t *unredable* like this, they are perfect, clean, and *unreadable* pet’s job to keep organized and good and *unreadable* houses are bad without owners and pets are useless *scribbles* need be good *unreadable* I’m use pet is useless”

He is too distressed to finish this one. He is about to yank the page off and start again, but Orfeu stops him, gently touching his hand.

“Do you want to hear a secret?” Haru stops… Breaths in. Open his mouth, closes it again. He nods, eyes widen with fear and expectancy “…Time goes on, no matter who you are. To Master’s and their ‘pets’… To animals and trees. Even houses like this one and like the one you lived before and the one we live in together. Eventually… Everything succumbs to time. And on the end… We are all the same.”

…Haru lowers his head, wanting to hide the frown. A storm behind his icy-blue eyes. Did that scare him more? He hoped not. It was something that he found to be weirdly comforting, even if pessimistic. And… And it was true. He pulled Haru’s chin up. He shivered a bit when they made eye contact.

“We are here now. We are alive. And you know what? It kind of sucks. But it can be nice, too. You don’t need anyone’s permission to be alive. You don’t need to be owned. You are not useless. Hell, you don’t need to be useful because you are not a thing. You don’t exist for that… I don’t know why you exist but then again, I don’t know why I exist either. We are just stuck on this together, and one day, we will be gone. But then again, everything will.” Pulls a lock of white hair from his face. Sad blue eyes, lost in thought. “Look… I’m happy we can spend time together. And I hate that so much of your time was taken from you. So… If you want to, we could go and get ice cream. It’s cold and sweet and honestly, I think you’ll enjoy it.”

Leave this place to its ghosts.

Scribbles.

‘Ice cream sounds nice’

#oc whump #whump writing #pet whump #orfeu and haru

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volleychumps · 4 years

Text

An Accidental Kind of Love (Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader)

Episode 10- Fading Nightmares

Text Below the Cut:)

Prev; Next; Masterlist

I feel this needs to be described in vivid detail...

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“What...is this that abandoned school? Isn’t it set to be demolished soon?” Futakuchi mumbles in disbelief, closing the car door quietly. Kuroo claps Iwaizumi on the shoulder, shaking him slightly.

“As much as I know you want to kill that piece of shit-”

Iwaizumi glances at Kuroo’s hand on his shoulder, shaking it off. “I know. The end goal is to just get her the hell out of there.”

“The minute it gets too dangerous, we leave and wait for the police.” Futakuchi warns as Kuroo begins to stretch his arm muscles out, Iwaizumi pulling his denim sleeves up to his elbow, both serious as ever. Iwa nods once, walking ahead with trembling fists at how hard he was clenching them.

“Ready to beat the shit out of some fuckers?” Kuroo lazily grins at the uptight Futakuchi, a dangerous glint in his eye as Futakuchi sighs, releasing the pressure in his chest. Kuroo smirks, knowing the lengths of how far Kenji would go for (y/n) than any other person. Even if he knew she would never see him the way he did her.

Futakuchi and Kuroo both break into a jog to meet at Iwa’s side, fire on their heels. “Let’s do it.”

----

“Just how much is he paying you to watch me?” You blink at the scary-looking dude who was sitting criss-cross in front of you as you deal the cards, eyebrow quirked at the situation you were in. Kidnapped by your ex, playing go-fish with a gangster in the middle of an old classroom. Now, you’ve been in lots of weird shit before, but this?

This was new.

“I’m not supposed to talk to you.”

“Yet here you are, playing go-fish with me. Got any eights?”

“...Go fish.”

You roll your eyes slightly, surprised at the calmness in your chest at what was happening. It had been two days. Two days of staying in the same old classroom, and you’re shitty ex had only shown himself to you twice. The first time you spat at him, refusing to accept anything from him in fear that he was trying to drug you. You cried your eyes out the first night of sleeping on cold concrete, ankle chained to the wall.

The second time he introduced you to your new “bodyguard” who was meant to keep you “safe”. By the second day, you had somehow managed to rope him in to playing a game of cards after a few hesitant conversations. You had learned about why he was the way he was and why he did what he did. Sure, you empathized with him a little. Mostly because he was no Toby.

“I don’t agree with this, you know.” Puffy (as you named him) frowns. You remain silent, allowing him to speak his mind. “The boss told me to follow this kid. He paid enough money, apparently. It’s just to keep you here, but...it’s still not right. He seems a little sick in the head.”

You scoff, about to reply in agreement until a new voice sounds throughout the room, sending chills down your spine and a lump into your throat.

“Sick in the head? Is that any way to talk about your employer?”

Puffy drops his cards, standing immediately as his scary eyes cast you a sorry stare.

“Leave us.”

Puffy hesitates, and walks out of the room as you refuse to tear your eyes away from the cards in your hand. Toby smirks, taking Puffy’s place in front of you as he begins to pick up the scattered cards.

“Enjoying your time here?”

You stay silent, pressing your lips tightly closed as your heart pounds in your chest.

Fingers grip at your cheeks, forcing you to look up into the eyes of a monster.

“I asked you a question.”

----

“Ouch. That’s gonna leave a bruise.”

Futakuchi glances worriedly over at Kuroo before kicking the thug who came at him in the stomach as he laid on his side on the floor, ignoring his groan of pain as he ensures he can’t get back up.

Kuroo throws another thug by the shirt into the wall, wiping sweat from his brow as he glances at his best friend. “Oh. Not me. Him.”

The two boys share a freaked-out glance at how savagely Iwaizumi fought, taking down two of the four thugs all on his own. He ignores their stares, clicking his tongue as he slips his denim pullover off, leaving him in a black sleeveless shirt that exposed his arms as his free hand rubs at the cuts on his knuckles.

“Show-off.” Kuroo smirks as the three restart their jog farther into the school. “They’re weaklings.” The air Iwaizumi gave off was dangerous and harsh, a promise of death in his eyes as each step he took was filled with a single purpose.

Saving you.

----

“Yes, Toby, I am enjoying my time here.” A fake smile stretches its’ way onto your face, feeling soreness in your cheeks at how hard his thumb and forefinger were pressing into them. “I love being kidnapped by my psychopath ex that I was kind enough to take pity on.”

Those weren’t the right words.

He flings his wrist to the side, jutting your head to that direction as an unstable laugh slips his mouth.

“You just never learn, do you?”

“A real man doesn’t hit a woman.” You manage out, feeling the intensity in your ex rise. “But I guess in your case, that doesn’t matter. You monster.”

“Monster? No, don’t get me wrong-I’m no monster.”

You tremble as his fingers ghost under your chin, a sickingly-sweet tone seeping into his words.

“I’m yours.”

You clench your eyes shut when his face nears yours, fingers tilting your chin up. In a panic, you swing with your free arm, the slap echoing throughout the room as your fingers tremble at what you had just done.

Toby freezes, head jutted out to the side. The laugh spills out of his throat, and the fear makes you shiver as his gaze falls on you maniacally.

“So is this how you felt?”

You shut your eyes, waiting for the impact as soon as he raises his arm.

But it never came.

----

“She’s in here.”

The three blink suspiciously as the scariest-looking thug they’ve encountered motions to the door. Iwaizumi takes another step cautiously, dark eyes calculating.

“Why would we believe that?”

The sirens around the building begin to ring as Puffy laughs humorlessly. “I...shouldn’t live my life this way. She helped me realize that. Just...please. Save her.”

The three wasted no time, Futakuchi suspiciously accepting the key from the criminal as he begins to work the lock. Kuroo scratches the back of his neck awkwardly starting to make conversation with the criminal until a sound makes all their blood chill cold.

A slap.

And then Iwaizumi’s foot was inside the door.

----

“Get the FUCK away from her if you know what’s good for you.”

A relieved gasp makes its’ way out of your mouth as Iwaizumi’s face comes into view, black sleeveless shirt torn with a spill of blood out of the corner of his lips. But he still looked more goregous than ever as he threw the monster that haunted both your dreams and life against the wall in one solid swoop.

Tears brim your eyes when Kuroo and Futakuchi rush up to you, looking roughed up themselves as your weak arms widen to allow both of them to hug you at once.

“Y-You guys...”

“Hey. You don’t have to say anything.” Futakuchi was gentle as he cupped your face, Kuroo’s arms tightening around you as he breathes out all the worry that had placed itself on his chest.

“You’re safe. Thank God you’re safe.”

And then Kuroo was gone, running to pull Iwaizumi off a half-concious Toby. You see him spit out a tooth, crazy eyes glaring at you as Kuroo presses him up against the wall by the shirt. You rub your ankle as Iwaizumi undoes the chain with the key he had taken from Toby’s pocket.

“You BITCH! You called all your other fuck-buddies didn’t you? I got someone to fuck with your phone, how-?!” Kuroo hisses as his fist connects with Toby’s face, knocking him out like a light as Kuroo allows him to drop to the floor from his position up on the wall. Kuroo examines the cut on his knuckle, looking satisfied with himself.

“Man, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

Futakuchi rolls his eyes as he walks over to your ex’s unconcious body, hoisting him up with a groan. You don’t see the sadness in his eyes when Iwaizumi embraces you as he casts you a smile.

“Hey. We’ll bring him down to the police. See you outside.”

“I love you guys, you know that?” You say with emotion packed in your throat as Kuroo and Futakuchi leave the room with the unconcious body. Kuroo lets out a low whistle when they make it halfway down the hall.

“You sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yeah.” Futakuchi smiles slightly. “She looked happy.”

----

“I...”

“Don’t. Just...hold me.”

Iwaizumi’s arms are gentle as you sob quietly into his neck, ignoring the terrible state you were in as his bruised hand runs through your tangled hair.

“T-Thank you...I’m so dumb, I didn’t know-”

“Don’t speak.”

“W-what-?”

So, in the middle of an abandoned classroom, with tear stained cheeks and bruised arms- Iwaizumi kissed you. A cut up hand resting on your cheek with the most softest touch he had used that day. You deepen the kiss for a second before pulling away, and he rests his forehead on yours, dark eyes staring into yours as your heart returns to a steady rhythm.

“Iwa?” “Hm?”

“Can we try and go on another coffee run?”

“Yes. Idiot.” Iwa’s busted lip forms a smile as your dry throat laughs a little bit, the room spinning around you as your body faces a round of fatigue from all the previous events.

“Be here when I wake up?”

“That’s a given.”

And then the room stopped spinning as your body fell into a slump, eyes fluttering shut as Iwa’s half-smile is the last thing you see.

----

It’s not over yet, folks! It will go back to standard social media AU in the next episode<33

taglist<3: @krxstynnn @neologyro @fernthefangirl @imconfusedanditsok @wthyuta @angsty-microwave @svtbitch @hitoshi-s-stupid-bitch @givesoup @the-pastel-badger @soumynonasstuff @hot-emotional–mess @shinsvu-talks @its-onepiece @giuliana-seraphinaxx @yuiicorn @zoppzoop @bridgehampton @i-would-die-for-this @adoring-obi-wan @thenextjennaration @jiyong-kwon-881808 @bubbleteaa @bobothecircusclown @kasandrafaye @teamnicedynabitch @verysadsimp @fait-de-fleurs @animefan7420 @samanthaa-leanne

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu smau #haikyuu social #haikyuu social media #haikyuu social media au #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu tsukishima #kenma kozume #nekoma #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu futakuchi #haikyuu angst

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dudeandduchess · 4 years

Text

Giyuu x F!S/O: A Nightmare Come to Life (Angst, NSFW Scenario)

Summary: A one-sided love that turns even more tragic after a night spent together. Note: @biznichwrites and I are trying out an alternate reality collab fic, and this is the result. We have the same first half (which she wrote), and we divert into different endings. In Biz’s words, think of it as Yin and Yang. You can read Biz’s fluff-filled piece here. Word Count: 9,324

***

Warnings: Smut, Angst, Suicide, Depictions of Blood, Character Deaths, Love Triangles, Talks of the Afterlife

She had filled her head with pretty lies, thoughts of soft, fluffy things that tickled her stomach like butterflies. The sight of one of the few other water breath users - the pillar, in fact - brought a smile to her face. He was perfect for the role - eyes as blue as the ocean, steady like the waves, strong like a deep current, carving his own path like a river, yet calm like the water's surface at night.

What started as infatuation became a crush, leaving her whole world centered around him. Inside she knew she wouldn't grab his attention, even if she was one of a handful of slayers at the water estate. Their rarity made them all busy on missions, there wasn't much time to see each other in passing, so she treasured every moment spent in Giyuu's presence.

Despite their schedules, she tried to do more for him. The maintenance he had performed almost single handedly was spread among the both of them. Mending his uniforms when they were damaged, even his beloved haori once. Salmon was always stocked once she figured out it was his favorite, even going as far as to cook it just as he liked. That was a mistake on her part - his glowing smile pulled her in deeper.

Still she felt her heart ache over the months. No matter what she did he never spoke a word to her, not that he really spoke to anyone else. Had she done something to make him hate her?

The day she had given up on his heart came shortly after. It wasn't often she needed help or saving, but a lower moon was a bit beyond her hope to slay. She had kept neck and neck with it for some time, praying that a pillar would arrive to slay it before it ate her. Like written from a bad romance novel, her Pillar came just as she felt weak after hours of battling, his blade cutting through the neck of the lower moon with ease.

Her knight in shining armor, so to speak. He came to save her, specifically him. Her heart fluttered in joy, tears gathering in her eyes. Maybe he would be impressed that she managed to last so long, to stay alive and keep the moon busy until someone stronger arrived. Her breath hitched as she heard him inhale, as if to speak.

"He wasn't much trouble, you should have been able to slay him. If you're weak you should know not to challenge a moon." He hadn't spared a glance her way, simply flicking his sword to clear it of blood before sheathing it. Her heart broke as he walked on, leaving her to watch the mismatched haori on his back as the distance between them grew.

"Giyuu, you should try to get close to others! I know it's scary but there's plenty of people out there that are nicer than the way Shinobu makes it seem." Tanjirou smiled at the elder water slayer, urging Giyuu to connect to others the way they had, at the very least.

"I'm not sure about that. People don't like me." Giyuu sat with his legs pulled up by the bank of the river they stopped at.

"All you can do is try! Didn't you want to become friends with Sanemi?" Tanjirou wasn't going to let Giyuu escape this time, even if it meant some friendly pestering.

"Yeah, I think he likes ohagi so I was going to give him some." Giyuu stared into the distance, trying to imagine the violent man attempting to receive a gift.

"What about (Y/N)? She's been nice!" Tanjirou was hoping to point out anyone who had been kind to the pillar, at least someone who wasn't filled with malice.

"Who?" Giyuu's face went blank at the name, unable to recall who the name was attached to. "I quit remembering names of most slayers since they die so fast."

Tanjirou deflated at that, finding it sad for Giyuu to view life in such a bleak manner. It felt him grasping at straws to find the correct words to express himself as he thought of what to say next.

"You remembered me before I was a slayer! She survived a solo fight with a lower moon, I don't think she's dying any time soon, you know." Tanjirou hoped the other would understand what he was saying, at the very least.

"Oh… She didn't beat the moon, though." Giyuu, like a child that was done with the conversation, drew idly in the sand below them with a stick.

"Well we can work on the ohagi for Sanemi, how about that?"

Giyuu thought of the girl Tanjirou had mentioned. He didn't know what to make of it all - she had survived, which is what he was looking for in a friend, but she wouldn't have without help. At the same time neither would have Tanjirou. Perhaps he was being too critical, she was still alive and kicking to this day.

However he hadn't seen her much since then. Maybe she was training more? That was enough of an explanation for him. It wasn't unusual for the entire water estate to be empty with as few of the water breath users completed the final selection, much less survived long enough to rank high enough to live in the estate.

The next time he saw her, presumably after a mission as she was returning at dawn, he recognized her more than just a name. He bit his tongue, unsure what to say as he stood on the engawa staring at her tired body limping closer. The moment her eyes caught his she glanced away, turning towards another part of the estate to rest in.

He would have questioned it more, but occurrences like this weren't uncommon. People avoided him, that was normal. Yet the way she kept herself at a distance made him want to find out why she did such a thing. Why did she hide away from him?

His breath caught in his throat one morning, watching as she sat on the far end of the engawa in a simple yukata. She must be getting ready to sleep, given most slayers were nocturnal, but he thought she looked nice in the morning sun. Pretty even.

Months dragged along, her eyes never meeting his own. Yet he felt himself drawn to her. All the actions she had taken before - he hadn't forgotten them, but he hadn't fully appreciated them at the time either. She had done something for him without being asked with nothing in return. Someone that selfless couldn't be a bad person. He still felt a bit bitter with himself for being so critical with her, the same he felt with Tanjirou. Neither deserved that.

It wasn't until Murata and a few others had saved up a large sum of money to buy enough alcohol to drown all the demon slayers, that he had a chance to interact with her. The whole time he was tense, almost awkwardly staring at her the whole time.

"Earth to Giyuu, you there?" Really, Murata was the only one that talked to the pillar so freely, with the exception of Tanjirou. Having kept the pillar alive at one point gave him a bit of the right, so no one spoke of it.

"Hm?" Giyuu's head turned back to Murata, clearly not aware of anything he had just said.

"I was seeing if you were going to drink with us. We're celebrating a year of not losing any water breath users. I figured of anyone you'd want to join." Murata handed him a bottle, not really waiting for a response. Was it responsible for a pillar to drink? Not at all. Had they organized this with Kagaya in mind? Of course, they had consulted with him to make sure they could celebrate freely.

Giyuu stared at the bottle then back to Murata, eyes flickering between the two. "I've never drank before…"

"Now is a good time to start!" Murata laughed with a pat to the pillar shoulder before disappearing into a small bunch of slayers.

Giyuu had drank nearly half the bottle in the course of a few hours, but he didn't find himself relaxed. Rather he found himself in a flurry of emotions - sad remembering everyone he's lost, angry with himself for allowing his life to be ruined by both demons and his own mismanagement of his emotions, but most surprising of all he found himself jealous.

The only female slayer of the bunch was flirted with endlessly. Most of the less than classy lines were met by laughter by the slayers. He knew they were treating it as a joke, even when she pretended to be the man hitting on Murata pretending to be a woman, but he didn't like it. He rested knowing that it was all in fun, though.

His drunken eyes met hers, making her already flushed cheeks even more red than previously before she glanced away. He was happy she was mindful to wear hakama, least the drunk young men around them get any ideas.

"Murataaaaa, when are you gonna get a wife? You keep talking about settling down but you're doing a shit job at it." Her laughter was kind enough, even if she was poking fun.

"(Y/N)! You know I-I-I---! I'm trying! It's just difficult!" Murata floundered under the playful scrutiny before returning a rebuttal, "So when are you getting married (Y/N)?"

"You know I'm dying alone, don't ask dumb questions." She laughed, but the laughter joining her was awkward, quiet and confused. Technically she could pick any slayer and they'd say yes - just for a lack of women around them, especially ones that understood the nature of their jobs. A moment passed but no further comments or banter had been added to the conversation after her bleak comment. Her face heated realizing she had made a fool of herself, not that Murata was much better as he fumbled moving the conversation forward.

Giyuu watched as she tilted up the porcelain of her heated sake, taking in how her throat contracted as she gulped. Was it proper for her to drink like that? No. But it technically wasn't traditional for women to wield swords and hunt demons, so it wasn't like social protocol meant much to her anyway.

Almost silently she slipped away, padding over to her room at the far end of the estate. His eyes followed her movements, taking in the dejected way she looked. Was she broken-hearted? He didn't understand why, she was pretty in her own way, stronger than most gave her credit for, smart enough to stay alive. Maybe he was more fond of her than he let on.

After some time the men grew rowdy, playing games and raising their voices. Murata seemed to stop drinking after a certain point, clearly aware of his limits.

"Murata?" Said slayer turned his attention to Giyuu, almost surprised that he spoke. "Is there something wrong with (Y/N)? She left a bit ago."

"Oh… I made a mistake and brought up something I shouldn't have, she's probably just having some time to herself." Murata prayed the Pillar didn't press for more info, being one of the few she admitted the situation to. He was far too drunk to stop himself from slipping up.

"Is she sad?" The lower ranked slayer blinked at the question, taken aback at how simple it was.

"Yeah, she just has her ways of dealing with it - wait! Where are you going?" Giyuu stood, moving toward the woman's room without another word. Murata prayed it didn't make things worse.

The pillar stood outside her door, listening as her crying was muffled into hitched breaths and harsh inhales to quiet herself. He wasn't sure what he was doing with the alcohol in his system, but he slowly pushed the shoji open and closed it quietly behind him.

"Is there something wrong?" He was trying to be nice but the jump of surprise from her was clearly not the reaction he was searching for. Her hand rested above her heart in surprise before gripping the cloth in anguish.

"I'm fine. You can go back to the others." Her head tilted away, not meeting his eyes.

"I'm sure Murata didn't mean to upset you. Did something happen? Did you lose your fiancé?" It was the only explanation he could rationalize why she wouldn't take a spouse when she had her choice of men flirting with her earlier.

"I said I'm fine. Leave me alone." She flopped back down on her futon, facing away from him. He wished she didn't look so pretty or the light of the moon didn't accentuate the curves of her waist and hips. Despite her words he never left, she knew at the lack of sound her shoji made when open and shut.

Rather he shuffled closer, nowhere near as elegant as he usually moved. Still he slid his fingers into her hair, finding himself rationalizing the feel of her hair with the need to soothe her.

"I'm sure you could find a husband in the slayers if you're worried about that." He didn't like it, especially the thought of not being able to freely look at her and the risk of never being able to touch her again.

"I said my plan was to die alone, it's not that complicated."

"Why?"

"Men don't want a woman like me." Her words croaked from her throat and he could help but sink into the futon and pull her back to his chest. His nose was pressed to the back of her hair and he could bask in her scent.

"That's not true." The more of her he got, the greedier he became. He wanted to remind her that the other water breath users would marry her, but she clearly wasn't interested.

"You don't know that." He felt her back trembling as she held back her distress and he hugged her closer. "I'm covered in scars, I can barely fight and I'm a pitiful slayer, I don't have anything to my name but what I wear, I'm not pretty and dainty like other girls-"

Her hands covered her mouth. She was complaining to the very person that filled her with insecurities. Deep inside she wanted to hate him, but she couldn't. It didn't mean she wasn't bitter. Her love for him had soured, painting her into a corner of self-depreciation. She knew this wasn't him, this was some drunken version of the man likely looking to have a piece of her.

For what it was worth, she would let him. At least it would be the final chapter to the broken heart saga of her life.

"None of that is true."

"I don't need lies to make me feel better."

He was growing a bit frustrated. His hand gripped her waist, both keeping her still and holding her to him. He was painfully aware he could slide his hands lower to grip the curve of her hips or slide his hands upward to cup her breasts.

"You're pretty. A good slayer. You're good as you are." He couldn't think of anything more grand to say, not that he was eloquent with words anyway. He prayed she understood, but the pause in her response made fear eat at his chest. Had he said the wrong thing?

"...Did you want to sleep with me?" That was the only conclusion she could think of. He was drunk and needed a body that was willing. If he was into women she was the closest one, and considering she was the only one in the estate he had to act fast.

"Sleep with you?" His words were quiet, as if he was scared to say them loud enough.

"As in sex. Did you want to have sex with me?" She was only so bold because she was facing away from him. The alcohol and bitter feeling in her chest brought up the question, but she could never work up the nerve to ask if she was looking directly at him.

He buried his face against her neck weighing the options. She was drunk, but so was he. There was no way either should do this. At the same time he doubted the option would ever be available again, especially as his attraction to her grew.

"Yes…"

He hovered over her, pushing in deeply with a moan. Her eyes had shed so many tears through the night, even more when he undressed her, but he couldn't help but to find her more addicting than before.

"You're so warm, oh fuck…" His head rested against her shoulder as he found himself able to thrust into her depths. "You're so beautiful, so perfect."

He heard her crying harder, moans of pleasure breaking through her moans of agony. Long had passed the attempts to calm her tears, especially when she grew nervous when he saw her naked.

He never missed her whispers of self-depreciation, how she fought all compliments that slipped from his lips as he undressed her layer by layer. Even if she found herself disgusting he couldn't agree with her. Every scar he uncovered, every little imperfection his eyes found cemented his infatuation.

It was her, something so unique to only her. No one else could replicate every little aspect of her.

Yet he couldn't make her stop crying. Soft whispers of praise didn't just fall on def ears but only pushed her into further despair. Every kind thing he said only brought more tears.

He didn't miss how her hips canted into his, how her eyes grew hazy as pleasure set in - the way her lips trembled after he kissed her, the second of hope in her eyes before she turned her head away.

The soft hiccups between whimpers were never lost on him. They came at his every kiss and praise, every moment he touched her in a way she enjoyed. As if some part of her wanted to receive his adoration before becoming buried in negativity.

She couldn't deny it, either. Simply knowing he didn't despise her, or at least a part of her, both healed and hurt her. For a moment she had some value to him. She was someone worthy of his sole attention.

Rough hands graced her body, pushing her hair from her face before guiding down her neck to cup her breast, gently squeezing her nipples before tracing her scars down her torso. When he reached her hips one hand held firm while the other graced the area above where they were joined. He remembered in a haze that men had talked about women feeling good there. A clit? All he knew is that her legs tightened around his hips the moment his thumb grazed the tip of the bud.

Abusing such a sensitive spot to see her reactions was a bit cruel on his part, but he wanted to see her relieved of her tears. It was time she felt good - both in terms of sex and about herself. He basked in the moment he hands left her face to cling to the bedding below her.

Dipping down he kissed her lips again, taking in how she seemed to squeeze tighter at the simple piece of affection. Despite the fact she felt inferior he adored having her like this - seeing her broken, in a way no one else has seen before, and the ability to see her put back together again. The vulnerability neither showed the world, only shared with the other.

He shifted his hips, thrusting deeper than before. She clenched around him in ways that made him regret never considering doing this sooner. At the same time, he knew their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. Their suffering was similar in a sense, they both could understand not having any value in themselves. Had he really been so blind to her all this time?

"You're so good." His head fell to her shoulder as his hips jerked into her warmth. The man felt elation when she gave in and clung to him. At first her hands were lightly touching, only loosely circling his back. Even if he wasn't sober he recognized enough of her reactions to make her react how he wanted.

Kisses were placed to her cheek and jaw as he tilted his head from her shoulder. Her breath shuttered, her nails timidly scratching his skin as her hold grew more firm.

He didn't expect her to orgasm from such simple affection but he couldn't explain why else her core felt as if it were milking his cock. Her arms and legs tightened around him, pulling him flush against her as her face buried into the curve of his neck.

It was welcoming to hear a cry of pleasure rather than anguish. The sound graced him, bringing him to climax shortly after her. Had he been sober he would have been more mindful of mindlessly cumming inside her without a second thought. For the moment he wanted to bask in the feeling. The afterglow of sex was only highlighted by the feeling on her nuzzling into his neck.

For a moment she accepted him. Someone liked him, even if he could still hear her hiccup as warm tears covered her cheeks again. He considered wiping her tears away but decided that he would rather let her hide against his chest. It was somewhere safe, where the judgements of the world that had brought her so low couldn't touch her.

Her heart throbbed at the feeling of him holding her close, even as they shifted to lay chest to chest on the futon. His cum dripping out to dirty her thighs wouldn't deter her for enjoying the moment. Regret and shame could come later, for now she wanted to accept just a grain on the validation he gave. Even if he regretted in the morning she wanted to savor the moment.

*** [Jen’s part starts here]

When morning came, Giyuu greeted it with a heavy heart and an even heavier head. Flashes of what he’d done the night before played in his mind; and with every memory that flickered in his mind’s eye, he felt his heart sink deeper and deeper into the pit that was his stomach.

It was true that he realized that he was fonder of (Y/n) than most, but he was in no way prepared to take on the responsibility of caring for someone else’s emotions. He could barely even keep himself in check, who was to say that he could help heal her broken heart?

Especially when he was the one whom had broken it in the first place.

There was nothing more that he wanted to do than to get out of that room before she woke up, but the sight of her curled up beneath the lilac blanket had him staying right where he was. The least he could do was tell it to her straight, instead of running away like a coward.

He had to tell her that what had happened between them was a mistake.

And that was how (Y/n) came to: seeing Giyuu sitting right next to her— with his clothes already on, and with his head in his hands, as if the weight of the world had been perched on his shoulders.

A small smile made its way onto her face as she sat upright— gripping the blanket tight to her naked chest, and gently laying a hand against his arm. Only, instead of welcoming her touch, the Pillar’s body tensed up.

She felt her heart sink at that, as her smile dissolved into a confused frown. Had she done something wrong? Was last night not good for him? Did he find her repulsive in the morning light? Those thoughts kept flitting around inside her head, weighing her emotions down even more than they were when her brain had been addled with so much alcohol.

Slowly, she retracted her hand away from him and moved to tuck the blanket beneath her arms— holding them up to cover her modesty, even though she knew that he’d already seen everything. There was just something about being around him at that moment that had her feeling so insecure of herself; like she’d known all along, no one would have found her appealing, least of all the Water Pillar.

Giyuu tried to reach into himself to find the right words to say, almost clinging on to the notion of spouting lies in his desperation to spare her feelings. But he couldn’t do that to her, not after he’d taken the last thing she had left to offer him, aside from his heart.

“Thank you for last night,” The young man began softly, and his words felt like a harsh slap to (Y/n)’s face. Because those words weren’t the words of love that she’d fantasized about; they were cold and flat, as if he was saying them out of politeness instead of sincerity.

She’d known that it was going to be impossible to make him fall in love with her; but it didn’t hurt any less to have him try to gently turn her down, just as he was doing at that moment. Everything in her wanted her to scream and rage, to make him do the impossible task of turning back time— if only so she could push him away.

Tears pricked the backs of her eyes, even though she tried so hard to keep herself from showing him any kind of reaction. Her chest grew even heavier with the silent expectations that she’d had for his next few words— mentally bracing herself for a spiel that was going to push her away from him for good.

“But last night… can’t happen again. It was never supposed to happen.”

Still, when he uttered the words, she couldn’t help but flinch and look down at her lap— where her hands were worrying the lilac-colored blanket between her fingertips. And, no matter how hard she tried to push back her tears, they still welled up in her eyes and began to roll down her cheeks in hot rivulets.

Words had eluded her, as all she could think about was Giyuu’s own sentence that more or less said that sleeping with her had been a mistake.

“I can’t be in a relationship with anyone right now; I won’t be good for you, nor will I be good for anyone else.”

(Y/n) pursed her lips at that, cutting off the sob that wanted to escape her lips, as his words burrowed themselves deep into her heart— cutting her deeper and deeper until she felt like there was nothing left inside her chest.

Instead of staying, however, Giyuu slowly got up from where he sat and made his way over to the door— pointedly avoiding looking at the crying woman, whom was barely holding herself together in his presence. “I’m sorry, (L/n). Please forget everything that happened last night.”

The slayer couldn’t even bring herself to look up at him, even well after he had closed the shoji quietly behind himself. Her entire body felt so helplessly broken and cold, numb down to the tips of her fingers, and easily fragile even as she moved to hug herself in an effort to hold herself together.

That was the last day she had ever talked to Giyuu, let alone even looked at him. It made for an awkward time around the Water Estate, so she had gotten in contact with the one person whom she knew she could count on to save her.

It was a desperate attempt to cling on to Sanemi, but it was all she could do when she had been backed into a corner with no other option. It was either she moved in with her childhood friend, or risked Giyuu finding out the secret that she so desperate wanted to keep from him.

She would not have acted so delicately in any other situation, but as time went on— she noticed that Giyuu had been coming back to the estate later and later; until he would be gone for days at a time with no word to anyone if he was out on a mission or on an errand.

The Pillar she had known was not like that at all, so it was a cause for suspicion.

(Y/n) had tried to avoid him as much as she could, but doing her old tasks of mending his uniform and haori, as well as washing his clothes had been hard to let go of— as everyone already had a routine that they had stuck to, and no one was willing to switch chores with her, unless she told them the real reason why she suddenly wanted to switch to doing kitchen tasks instead.

And in doing those tasks, she slowly found that his uniforms and haori were always newly mended, with the subtle signs of a feminine touch. But it wasn’t until she’d seen the embroidered heart on the sleeve of his haori that she’d arrived at the conclusion that he was seeing someone.

His words of how he couldn’t be in a relationship with anyone played in her mind, as a bitter laugh bubbled free from her lips— which was then followed by such quiet and breathless sobs that made her feel even sorrier for herself.

Because there she was, still in love with the same man whom had turned down her love and was adamant about not being in a relationship with her. Only to find out that he was seeing someone else; maybe even loved that someone.

That would explain why he was brooding less often on the rare days when he stayed in the estate, and would also explain why his overall aura seemed lighter than before.

Of course, it hurt, and she knew that she couldn’t keep turning a blind eye to it— not when his mere presence was an insult to her pain.

That was how she found herself moving in with Sanemi and telling him everything that had happened between her and Giyuu, before eventually coming clean with the fact that she was two months along with a baby— Giyuu’s baby, to be exact.

Sanemi had offered to take the child in as his own, and had even made hints of wanting to marry (Y/n)— all of which she had adamantly refused. Because she couldn’t do to anyone else what Giyuu had done to her, and that was use her.

“I can take care of you. No one would even dare to say anything if the baby doesn’t look like me, as long as I say that I’m the father,” Sanemi had insisted, cupping her face gently in his hands and wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “Please, (Y/n)… let me take care of you.”

Little did she know that Sanemi’s words weren’t being said out of a false sense of duty, rather for something completely genuine and heartfelt. He felt for her what Giyuu never did, yet Sanemi was too hesitant to put any pressure on her— as he was ready to keep her in any way he could, rather than lose her altogether.

The Wind Pillar loved her too much to do that to her, so he lived most of their life keeping his own feelings to himself. It hurt to see her pine after a man who didn’t want her in the first place, and it hurt him even more when he found out that she had been used the way she had, so enough was enough.

He had wholeheartedly accepted her to move into the Wind Estate, ushering her to just leave her things at the Water Estate— all so she wouldn’t have to bear witness to more of Giyuu’s thinly concealed happiness.

It took everything in him not to throttle the Water Pillar the last time they’d had a meeting at the Demon Slayer headquarters, because that content expression on Giyuu’s face grated so badly on his nerves— especially since he always heard (Y/n)’s soft cries at night, when she thought that everyone was already asleep.

Even being near Giyuu made Sanemi’s hackles rise, because he believed that he shouldn’t be so content with his life— not when he had left (Y/n) hurting by herself. To add insult to injury, Giyuu hadn’t even asked anyone for (Y/n)’s whereabouts— which he had initially expected to happen.

But it appeared that Sanemi had expected too much, because it seemed that the other Pillar didn’t even care at all. He didn’t even give any indication that he was worried about (Y/n) at all; and that only angered Sanemi even more.

He would be damned if he even let Giyuu get a glimpse of (Y/n) or her child ever again. So, he swore to never let the Water Pillar close enough to hurt the person he loved the most; never again.

***

All the while, Giyuu felt like he was walking on cloud nine. For once in his life, he felt content and mildly happy in the arms of his lover. However, that contentedness could only last so long, until the thoughts of that night with (Y/n) played in his mind.

Every kiss and every touch plagued him when he was weakest, and the more that he dwelled on his guilt, the more that he felt empty inside; as if the happiness he felt showed its true nature by being fleeting and temporary.

He tried to mask it at first, pretending to keep up the act that nothing was bothering him— just like how he’d felt in the first few months with his lover. The words he’d said to (Y/n) the morning after had him shaking his head to get rid of them, and it was easy to ignore at first— until it had gotten up to the point where he couldn’t even have a moment’s peace without his words coming to gnaw at his conscience.

He knew that he’d done (Y/n) so much wrong by lying to her like that— by telling her that he wasn’t suited to be with anyone when, in reality, he just wasn’t ready to open his heart up to her; at least, not at the time. It was easier to open his heart up to someone who didn’t have a clue that demons existed— someone whom he knew he wouldn’t be able to lose, if he just kept them in the dark.

He had let his own irrational fears decide for him, but what was done had already been done— and he couldn’t take anything back.

His shame and guilt were the main reasons why he never sought her out, even though he had heard that she was living with Shinazugawa at that point.

Did he feel guilty? Yes. Was it taking its toll on his newfound relationship? Definitely.

Giyuu had gotten to the point where he couldn’t even close his eyes without seeing how broken (Y/n) was when he’d left her in her room.

And it wasn’t until he’d seen (Y/n) come back to the Water Estate with Shinazugawa that things had snapped into place for him. Jealousy stirred within his chest, especially when he saw the care and gentleness that the Wind Pillar treated her with— and he found himself wishing that it was him in his place.

The way that the silver-haired Pillar was acting towards her could have been construed as how a husband would act with a wife, and Giyuu found the thought of (Y/n) being married to his comrade leaving a bad taste in his mouth.

Still, he could only look on from outside her room, as they picked out the things that she wanted to take— namely: her family’s mementos.

And no matter how hard he tried to talk to her, Sanemi made a point to cut him off and take up all of her attention; leaving him feeling so unneeded and uselessly dismissed to the side, as if he didn’t even matter.

Giyuu couldn’t even say anything as they left with nothing but a small rucksack of the things she had wanted to bring— leaving her room in pretty much the same state as she had left it in, in the first place.

He’d tried to get a hold of her after that, sending her numerous letters via crow and always getting them sent back in an untouched state. All that was left for him to do was go and visit her at the Wind Estate, but he was saving that last desperate attempt for when he really needed it most.

But, not even his lover’s company was enough to keep his mind off of (Y/n); always seeing her face in his mind whenever he closed his eyes, and silently wishing that it was him that she had been talking to and softly smiling at on that day when she returned to his Estate.

He wished that he was Shinazugawa, all so he could have her in his arms again.

So, that was how he found himself ending things with his civilian lover; feeling horrible that he hadn’t felt as much guilt when ending things with her, as opposed to how he felt when he pushed (Y/n) away.

When he’d gotten back to his estate the morning after breaking things off with his lover, he found things much more silent than usual. There was no activity in any part of the grounds, and it seemed that there were no slayers in the house; even those who should have been asleep weren’t there.

It was as if his estate had suddenly become a ghost town.

And it was only in the afternoon, as he was sipping on his tea, that he found out exactly what the cause of everyone’s absence was.

Murata staggered into the house with his arms slung over two other slayers’ shoulders. His face was all red and blotchy, while his cheeks were marred with both fresh and dried tear tracks that had Giyuu setting his tea cup down and listening in to what was happening.

“I can’t believe that she’s gone,” Murata cried through a sob, shaking his head in disbelief as the two other men carried him through the halls— stopping right by the doors that led to the engawa, and bowing as a show of respect to Giyuu.

“Gone? Who?” The Pillar asked softly, feeling a tinge of uneasiness touch his chest as he waited in nervous anticipation for his subordinates’ answers.

However, the lower ranked slayers looked between each other before one of them spoke up, “It’s (L/n), Tomioka-sama. She was found dead last night… by seppuku.”

Giyuu felt as if his entire world had stopped at hearing the news. His entire body felt cold, and his heart had all but stopped beating inside his chest. Tears pricked the backs of his eyes, as he furrowed his eyebrows in bewildered confusion— and denial.

His heart, which he had held so carefully within himself, began to crack with every shaky exhale that passed from his lips. And he tried opening his mouth to speak, only to close it when no words would come out— until his own tears spilled over and ran down his face in hot rivulets.

He hadn’t wasted anymore time after that; instantly making his way towards the Wind Estate and getting there when dusk had long since bathed the world in darkness.

Lanterns lit up the path that led to the estate, where people were trickling out of the gates in either pairs of small groups. Most of them were expressing their pity towards the husband of the deceased, which confused Giyuu immensely; not to mention the fact that it harped on his nerves, as his jealousy reared its ugly head inside him.

“I heard that she was five months along. Poor child.”

He pushed past the thinning crowd, feeling his heart begin to race even more as reality slowly began to set in.

She really was gone.

And it was only when he reached the wake that had been set up in the backyard that the tears he’d thought had long run empty began to roll down his cheeks once more.

Flowers adorned each and every vacant space of the altar that (Y/n)’s body had been laid on; all of them in a creamy white color that seamlessly mirrored the kimono she wore. But it wasn’t the ornate kimono, or the grandiose display that caught Giyuu’s attention; it was the smaller, but not less ornate, kimono that had been laid over (Y/n)’s chest— with her hands cupped over it, as if protecting it from the world.

He felt the last bit of his heart wilt away at the sight of it, because a part of him just knew… that child was his; or, it had been.

“What the fuck are you doing here? I didn’t invite you.” A familiar voice snarled behind Giyuu, making him whirl around and meet Sanemi’s angry lilac eyes. They were more bloodshot than usual, and seemed puffy— as if he had just gotten done crying.

“I have a right to be here.”

“The fuck you do. You did this to her!” Sanemi yelled angrily, shoving the other Pillar with all the strength he could muster, and knocking him down onto the ground before the altar. At that point, more tear had overflowed from his eyes, and were dripping down his face; yet he made no move to wipe them away. “I loved her. I wanted to give her the world, but all she wanted was a bastard like you!”

The Wind Pillar lunged at Giyuu at that point, unmindful of the bewildered crowd around them as he reared his fist back and landed a solid punch to Giyuu’s face.

“You’re the reason she’s gone! You don’t deserve to fucking see her again!” Before he could throw another punch, Sanemi was pulled off of Giyuu by two pairs of strong arms— and when Giyuu looked up, it was to see both Gyōmei and Rengoku looking down at him with what he could only construe as pity.

Still, as his fellow Pillars pulled Sanemi away, he could still hear the other man’s cries of how he had never deserved to even look at (Y/n) in the first place.

Giyuu looked back at where (Y/n) laid, feeling shame envelope him more and more the longer he stared at her from his place on the ground. He didn’t even make a move to stand up, because he was so ashamed of what he had done to her.

And, for once, he agreed with Sanemi: he had never really deserved to even look at (Y/n) in the first place.

Still, the longer he looked at her body, the more he felt his guilt gnawing at him. The longer that he took her in, the more that he couldn’t keep himself from thinking just how much pain she had been in when she was dying.

He couldn’t help but think that she had suffered all of that pain, just so she could be free of him. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.

***

To say that Giyuu felt tired was the understatement of the century. He was so torn and beat up, and missing one arm as he waited for death to consume him. He couldn’t even feel anything as he felt the last ounces of life drain away at his fingertips.

But, in his last moments, all that filled his mind were thoughts of (Y/n) and all of his regrets— as all of them had to do with her and their unborn child.

He knew that he shouldn’t have pushed her away like that; that things could have been different had he stayed and tried to open his heart up to her. He also knew that things would have been different— that he would have been happy in his final moments— had he tried to give (Y/n) the life that she deserved.

If he had just tried to love her back, instead of taking so long to realize the real extent of his feelings for her, then maybe— just maybe— he would have been fighting even harder to stay alive.

Images of what he thought their child would have looked like flickered in his mind; each one bringing more tears to his eyes than the last. He saw her holding their child, smiling at him so warmly as she welcomed him home— a thought that would never come true, because he had been the one who’d pushed her to end her own life.

And, in her death, all those dreams of the simple life they could have had as a family plagued him— as if it were an alternate reality that was playing in his mind whenever he found enough solace to fall asleep. In his dreams she was happy— greeting him so warmly at their own home after he came home from a mission.

But the part that made his heart ache the most were the images of a baby boy— with blue eyes, much like his— who would crawl on the floor just to get to him; clinging tightly to his hakama just so he could stand up on his own two feet and demand to be carried.

“Papa, up! Yuu miss papa!” The boy would cry out, almost close to tears as he looked up at Giyuu earnestly. And, like always, it would make the Water Pillar’s heart ache— because it was another reminder of what he could have had, but had chosen to let go of.

Happiness was within his grasp, yet he’d thrown it away out of fear. He’d cast (Y/n) aside and had never tried to make amends, so it was his own fault that she was gone.

She hadn’t wanted to be a burden to Sanemi, and she hadn’t wanted to beg for scraps of his affection— so she had done what she thought was necessary to free him and the Wind Pillar of any sort of obligation to her.

He’d only found that out after Shinazugawa had— reluctantly— given him a short letter that wasn’t even meant for his eyes. They were only meant for Sanemi, but the other pillar had wordlessly given him the piece of paper during one of their Pillar meetings, and had not spoken to him since.

A tourniquet had been wrapped around his wound, yet he still felt nothing as medics raced to patch him up as best as they could. He couldn’t even lift his head up, what with the heaviness of his thoughts weighing him down.

Giyuu could only let his head loll to the side as he took in the way that the only remaining Pillar— aside from him— had been wrapped tightly in bandages. But, he’d noticed, that he kept his right hand enclosed tightly around something.

The medics had tried to get him to let go of it, after they’d thought that he was already asleep— but were met with hostile glares and snarls that warned them to stay away from whatever he had been holding.

And it was only when Sanemi had already passed out that he saw what the other man had been tightly holding on to: it was the very necklace that (Y/n) had come back for that day at his estate. He’d seen it briefly when he had been waiting for her to wake up, and there was no mistaking it— it really was (Y/n)’s.

He felt his chest tighten at the sight of it, and part of him longed to reach out and claim it for himself; but another part of him— the more rational and conscientious side— had him stay right where he was.

After all, he was the reason that she was gone in the first place. Just like he was the reason that his sister had died, and also why Sabito had died.

And as he thought more about it, the more he realized that all he brought to others were pain and suffering— and death.

So maybe, dying at that moment was a fair price to pay for all the people he’d hurt in that lifetime. He could only hope to see his sister and Sabito briefly, or maybe even (Y/n), before he accepted his fate in hell.

BONUS:

Cold, icy fear gripped (Y/n)’s heart tightly; the pressure only getting heavier and heavier on her chest as she placed a shaky hand on top of her abdomen— ignoring the warm blood that had already soaked through her yukata, and was slowly pooling on the floor where she sat.

She couldn’t even lift her head with the shame she felt weighing down on her shoulders, because she had chosen the most cowardly way to go. It wasn’t what she had been raised to believe in, but it was the only form of escape she could think of.

Still she hoped, and prayed, that Sanemi would never resort to blaming himself for her decision to end it all; and that Giyuu would find it in himself to forgive her.

At the very thought of Giyuu, more broken sobs left her chapped lips— making her muscles contract, and agitating her self-inflicted wound even further. It hurt so much that she just wanted it to be over— that she just wanted to feel her life drain out of her at a faster pace— but she knew she deserved to feel all of the hurt that she could in her last few moments.

She deserved to suffer, not because she was taking the coward’s way out, but because she was taking an innocent life along with her.

Her hands moved to cup the small baby bump on her stomach, knowing that whatever life that had been in there was already gone— or already close to being gone. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Her words repeated themselves over and over in her head— inevitably bringing her back to the moment when she had written the very same words, with shaky hands, on parchment; immortalizing them in a letter that she had addressed to Giyuu.

I loved you when I didn’t even love myself. And that was wrong of me. I’m so sorry, Giyuu.

More tears rolled down her cheeks, as her heartache doubled at the memory of writing the words down played in her mind. She could feel what was left of her soul slowly chipping away, with guilt and fear gnawing at it for having claimed to love a man that she knew would never even love her.

I’m sorry to the child that could have been; a broken mother, and a father who didn’t want it… I couldn’t do that to it. I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me, Giyuu.

Please, it’s all I ask… that in another lifetime, if you ever see me again, that you would not hate me for doing what I thought was best for you and the baby.

Maybe, in another life, in an alternate reality, we could have been happy… just not in this one.

Her head was beginning to spin with the blood loss, and she knew that it wouldn’t take long before she finally met her fate— so, with one last prayer, she asked the spirits of her deceased family members to take care of her child when she crossed over, and to look after Giyuu.

All because she knew that she would never be able to do it from hell.

“I’m so sorry,” were her last words to the life that had been inside her, before she slowly succumbed to her mortality.

And, when she came to, it was to a cold and desolate place that was filled with nothing but darkness. No matter where she looked, all she could see was pitch black.

Of course, she was afraid, but all of that fear vanished when she looked down at her arms and saw a tiny child that was swathed in a white blanket. Her breath caught in her throat, as guilt bubbled up inside her— lodging itself in her throat and making her tear up as she took in more and more of its features in the dim light trained on her.

With the lightest touch she could muster, she lifted her right hand up to the baby’s cheek and traced its smooth cheek— gasping softly when it opened its eyes and presented her with irises that were much like Giyuu’s blue ones.

“Hello, you must be (Y/n).” The soft and melodic voice had the young woman jumping in surprise— tightening her grip around her baby and holding him closer to her chest, as if to protect it from the stranger. And when she looked up, she was met with the face of two women— much more beautiful than her, and with presences so comforting that it made her want to hug them and cry in their arms. “I’m Tsutako. Tomioka Tsutako.”

(Y/n)’s eyes widened at that, as she knew that Giyuu had had an older sister once upon a time; someone he had never mentioned, but had been talked about within the lower ranks of the slayers— and it was, regretufully, how she knew.

“You might not remember me, but I’m Shizu…” The other woman whispered, smiling slightly all the while.

“I… you’re Sanemi’s mother. I remember,” (Y/n) admitted quietly, trying to hold back her tears as reality sank in: she really was in the afterlife. She’d died and brought her child along with her.

She didn’t even dare to ask why they were there; she already knew the reason. Her family’s spirits had ostracized her and didn’t even bother to show themselves to take her baby to heaven with them. It was a thought that stung her deeply, but she had no choice but to shoulder it and try to pretend that it wasn’t affecting her at all.

All so she could save face.

(Y/n)’s eyes flitted from one woman’s gaze to another, knowing full well whom she was supposed to go with, and what she was supposed to do. Yet, her limbs stayed frozen— wanting to hold on to her baby for a little longer, even though she knew that they didn’t have forever to stay in limbo.

She looked down once more at hers and Giyuu’s son, inhaling deeply as she brought him up to her face and pressed a kiss to his forehead; desperately fighting off the tears that had clouded her vision, and had begun to stream down her face in hot rivulets.

It felt like her heart was breaking all over again, as soon as she’d had a momentary taste of happiness.

“Please take care of him,” (Y/n) whispered, nuzzling the tip of her nose against her baby’s cheek and memorizing how he smelled like; as it was the first and last time that she was ever going to see him. “And please always tell him how much his mama would have loved him. And that she’s sorry for not giving him a chance to live.”

Her tears had dripped onto the now-sleeping baby’s face, which she wiped off with the tips of her fingers— right before hugging him close one last time; savoring every second that ticked by, before she reluctantly stepped towards Tsutako and handed him off to her.

“Your father would have adored you.” Giyuu’s older sister gave (Y/n) a sad smile at that, fully knowing what it was like to have to say goodbye to someone she loved, and held the swathed bundle close to her heart. “Does he have a name?”

“Yuu. His name is Yuu.”

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ketsuyuki-hibana-typed · 5 years

Text

Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader (Modern Domestic AU) (NSFWish warning)

300 followers hc!!!

Oh My, 300 followers!!! Yaaaaaay!!!! Thank you! Thank you so much, I'm really grateful that I got so many loves and supports from you all! I like the enthusiasms in my askbox, and I really appreciated it from my deepest heart!! I always read your replies and gaaaahhh it always made me happy!! 💮🌸🌺

Warning: Sexual abuse on train, and Trauma

You worked at laboratorium and Sanemi is a math teacher.

Sanemi will wake up first in the morning.

He glanced at your side, you still sleep peacefully. He stroke your hair one or two times and scratched his tummy while yawning. He went to the bathroom.

After some push-ups and sit-ups, he will back with full consciousness and energy

Ready to torture you.

"Wake up." He slapped your arm.

"Wake up." One poke on cheek

"Wake up, dummy." Two poke on cheek.

You groaned and covered yourself with blanket. "Shut up."

"Get rekt you little shit" He pulled out your blanket and started to tickling you

You were a little bit agitated but eventually laugh and beg for your mercy

Both of you fell down from the bed, but he put his palm under your head on time, so you didn't hit the floor

"Sanemi, that's dangerous!"

"Haha, nope." He bites your nose and stood up. "Morning, ugly."

"SANEMI!!!!"

After getting ready on your work suit, you cooked breakfast for both of you and Genya. Nothing really special, just some bread with sunny side on top

But for Sanemi, peeking you with your apron from his newspaper is a blessing in the morning.

"Morning, Nee-san, Aniki."

"Morning, Genya." He helped you pouring coffees. "You have exam today right?"

"Yeah." He grabbed the bread and put them on his mouth, about to dashed out. You hold his shoulder

"Ah, no running while eating. Sit down." Genya hesitated a bit but eventually sit down with Sanemi too. "Hm~ good boy." You patted his head

He blushed and chewed his bread fast before Sanemi noticed.

After Genya went to school, Sanemi and you finally finished the breakfast.

"Why don't you drop him off at school? Both of you work and study in the same place." You said as you locked out the door.

"Nah, he doesn't want to."

"Really? It must be fun if three of us went together."

You hopped into his car.

Sanemi won't let you go to work by train

Because one time, there was incident

You insisted to take the train. He was a little bit hesitating but eventually went with you too

It was really cramped, both of you didn't have choice but to stand. Sanemi nagged while grabbing your hand but his handgrip was slipped off, he seems didn't realize it yet. Now, you were behind him and faced his back with some distance aparting you.

That's okay, you thought. I'll reach him when we arrive to the next station.

Suddenly, a strange hand poked your back, stroking and touching you. That someone dragged his fingers down to your hip. You flinched

'Molester?!" You were panicked but didn't say or do anything. 'But... I'm wearing long skirt and it's not even tight today... So why..."

You tried to distance yourself with that somebody behind you by stepping forward a little, but it's too cramped.

No one seems noticed. You just want to cry

"Sa.." You tried to call Sanemi with your squeaky voice. "Ne..Mi... Help..."

Of course, he didn't hear that.

The molester continued his act and started groping your ass. Something risen and wet even poked your hip.

You felt disgusted but still froze on your stand, too scared to scream. 'Please, please no. Sanemi, please help me.' You squeezed your bag and looked down.

Meanwhile, the train almost arrived at next station. Sanemi felt like something missing from his hand and looked back

"Hey-"

He finally saw you.

Your body trembled, your face was red and tears started to accumulated on your eyes.

Your eyes finally met his. You moved your lips

"Sane... Mi.... Help..."

Something burning inside his body. He bursted in to your place, didn't care if people groaned angrily when he accidentally stepped their shoes

"FUCK YOU!"

He punched that guy right in the face. He even didn't give that guy rest or pulled his pants for awhile. He didn't care and beat him mercilessly

"Sanemi, Stop!! He will die!" You pulled his shirt but he seems didn't want to listen to you

"Hey! What are you doing there!!" The train officer suddenly came from afar.

The automatic door train opened.

"Hehe, next time." This fucking molester didn't regret his action.

Sanemi kicked his face once again and pulled your hand, getting out from there. Both of you ran from the station.

You stopped on a park.

"Sanemi... I'm sorry... I didn't-"

"Show me your back." You turned around.

There is a white stain on your skirt

"Fuck..." He wiped your lower hip with wet handkerchief. He took off his jacket, knelt down and wrapped it around your hip

"Sanemi."

"What? Did something hurt? Did he-"

You suddenly let out fat tears streaming down your face. You never felt disgusted for your entire life. Sanemi must be so upset.

"I'm scared, I'm sorry I didn't do nothing, I'm sorry if I-"

"It's okay, I'm here. You don't have to say sorry." He hugged you, gently caressed your back and kissed your cheek. "I promise there will be no 'next time'." He gritted his teeth. Until today, he always thought that he failed to protect you.

That's why, he will drive you up to place you wanted to go. No matter how busy he is, he'll try to drop and pick you up. Or at least, took taxi.

When you arrived, you will arrange his necktie before went off because he's so damn suck at it.

"Ok, handsome. You're good to go."

"Hey." He holds your arm. "Don't overdo your work. Call me at lunch."

"Will do!" You patted his head.

"Oi, I did my hair for hours."

"Haha, okay, sorry." You waved your hands. "Bye-bye!"

He secretly likes his 'now-kinda-messy' hair, and lets it be until he arrived at school

When he stressed out and angry at his workplace, he will sit at his table, and listen to your recorded voice (He secretly recorded it lol)

"Ok, guess what I draw on your back. Hehe. Nope, that's not it. I write 'I like you'."

"Nemi!" (Fyi, the only peope who could called him like this are you and Genya)

"Sa! Ne! Mi!"

"Sanemi. Hehehe, nothing! Just calling you"

This fucker of you will smile so bright, the teacher room blinded by the lights.

You called him on lunch, and praised the food he made for both of you.

"But why do you put the carrot again."

"In this house, we didn't acknowledge a picky eater."

The students were shocked to death when they found that killer teacher has wife.

"What?! That Shinazugawa-sensei? Really?! wtf this world gonna end soon."

"...but the real question is, did he called her dumb and started to throwing chalk when she can't answer his math question or what."

Okay, did he?

Yes, he did. Except the chalk part, it replaced with "Pinched her cheek"

"THIS IS BASIC MATH. YOU ARE A RESEARCHER!!"

"I DON'T KNOW! IT'S NOT MY PART AND IT'S ALMOST 5 YEARS AGO, WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING FROM ME?!"

He taught you how to do two math questions while you're about to cry and sniffled, that your tears started to wet your paper.

"All I ask is you're helping me to solve my work... *sobs*"

Both of you basically 'Genya Protecting Squad'

Random People: *complaining about his scary face and hair*

Both of you: DID YOU JUST TALK SHIT TO MY BROTHER?

When it's cold, he likes to make you sit on his lap and.... Err... Put his hand inside your shirt and groping your boobs

"...what are you doing."

"My hands are cold."

"There's heater."

"No, the sensation is different."

Revision, both of you are pervert

You get into his shirt and stick your cheek onto his bare chest while tapping his abs

You: *inhales* WALKING BARA TIDDIES

Him: I am what?

When you're sick because of overworking, he's the one who took care of you. He will 'guard' you 24/7 and will always ready in any case if you need him. Plus the scolding level will increase.

"Say aaah." He pushed a spoonful of soup he made to your lips. You shook your head and pushed back his hand. You sniffled, and coughed. You could feel your sore throat

"I'm sorry, but I can't-"

"Eat." He ordered you. You sniffled once again and make sad puppy face.

Not effective

"Look." He came closer to your face and sticked his forehead onto yours. "I won't leave until you eat this."

Your phone was ringing, it was from your boss. You are about to take the the call, but Sanemi turned off your smartphone.

"Rest." You pouted. "What's with that attitude." He frowned. Like it or not, you finally received his food

"Good girl." He caressed your cooling-pad on your forehead. Your half opened eyes-lid seems so weak, you just put your chin on his hand and mewled like a cat

CUTE SO CUTE, Sanemi holds his chest and hurriedly took a photo.

On day off, you usually went together to movies, parks, mall, book store, aquariums, etc. But mostly, you will invite Genya to go with you two

He didn't mind if you walked beside or in front/behind him on ordinary walking or shopping. He simply hold your hand when you walked beside him

When you walked in front of him, he could fully look at your figure, while you busy to look at behind for some time, in case he stopped

And it's cute because you look like a chick looking for its mother

Or, when you walked behind him, you grabbed his shirt or jacket fabric, afraid if you lose him

And it's.. still so fucking cute

This is funny, but you and Sanemi often showing disgusted face and judging when both of you saw an over limit lovey dovey couple

Random people you met on the way (especially waitress or shopkeepers) sometimes saying words like, "Is your boyfriend a model?"

You shook your head. "Ah, no. He's math teacher."

"And let me correct you." He suddenly popped out. "She's my ex."

You sighed. "Stop telling people I'm your ex." You smiled towards that person. "I'm his wife."

Or if Sanemi was lazy, both of you will stay in the house, being lazy all day. Sometimes you made Ohagi or he invited you to play UNO cards

"If you lose, you had to say goodbye to your favourite hoodie." You smirked while shuffling the cards,

"Fair enough." He calmly took the cards while chewing Ohagi. "If you lose, you had to wear that wireless vibra-"

"ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!"

He tend to kiss you on the lips deeply in a long time. No desire. Just simply a gesture of loving you.

Or kiss you quickly while throwing cheesy lines while doing Kabedon

He will make sudden move when you were casually walked in the house and BAM! His hand slapped on the wall, right beside your ear. He lets his two or three front-button opened

"Hello, single." He looked at your eyes and gave you a quick kiss on your lips, sticking his forehead onto yours

"What is it now?" You sighed.

"I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it."

"You are basically math teacher, Sanemi. And you know what?"

"What?"

"Are you my math homework? You seem hard and ready to be done on my desk."

And that's when he loses it and you already know what happens next

He first discovered things called menstruation when he accidentally spotted tampons on the table

"What is this?"

"AAAAAHHHH WAIT WAIT" You snatch that thing from his hand.

"??? What is that?"

"You- you don't know? It's for girls! On- on period!"

"What is period?"

"....are you even science."

You explained him about 'red day' and he nodded.

"Did it hurt your stomach? Because it's bleeding."

"Yeah, sometimes."

"You need warm tea?"

"Um, prob-"

"Is there anything that could reduce the pain?"

"I tend to-"

"Wait, lemme Google this."

After that, he treated you like a princess everytime you had period.

You usually went for coffees in the evening with him after works. Both of you like to sit together while telling each other stories even opinions

And you will never make up your mind for the coffees. So he usually took the role.

"Uh, I- I'll take-"

"I'll take Quad, Venti, 2 pumps, breve, extra-hot, no-whip, Toasted White Mocha. And she will take Solo, 1-pump, whole milk, light ice, Caramel Brulée Latte."

You just stand there like a dumb person

After coffees, both of you will shop together for dinner. He usually the one who decided the food.

"Kare, but I'm tired."

"I'll be the one who cook then."

"Hm, maybe... Shirt and apron only will be good on-"

"SHUT UP."

Three of you will eat together on the dinner table. Genya loves your food, so he usually gave his bowl to you and asked for seconds.

Sometimes bathe together. You will scrub his back. He likes it when both of you dipped in bathtub and with you laid your back on his chest.

"I don't like your panda eyes." You looked up and poked his cheek.

"Don't mind that."

"I DO mind."

So after bathe, you will put Aloe Vera sheet-mask on his under eyes. He didn't really like it at first, but after you put off his mask, his face became relaxing and he liked it.

Both of you tend to go to your shared bedroom first than Genya, because he still wanted to watch TV.

"Sanemi, you haven't sleep yet?"

When you about to pulled your blanket, you saw him with his anti-radiation eyeglasses, still facing his laptop.

"No. Go first." Your eyes are settled at his cup

"Stop the caffeine, I'll make you tea."

You get up and go to the kitchen. You found Genya asleep on the couch.

You turned off the TV and woke Genya from his sleep, telling him to move to his room.

You came back to your room with two cups of Darjeeling tea and some cookies, putting the tray beside him

You opened a novel book and put your head on his shoulder

You didn't say anything but humming a slow song beside him.

And sometimes, if he knew the song, he will hum together with you.

You stayed with him until he finished, no matter how much hours he spended on his works.

"It's strange."

Both of you now under the blanket, intertwined your fingers and facing each other

"What is it?"

"I never dream of living with wife before, I always thought I'll just live with Genya, and being single for the rest of my life."

You chuckled. "Me too, never thought someone really picked me up because I'm a potato."

"Dummy." He kissed your forehead and nuzzled his nose on your neck.

"Sweet dreams."

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sannflwrr · 3 years

Text

The Dog Tag

moodboard creds to @aprilisque your talent is extraterrestrial

Author: sannflwrr

Pairing: Jaebeom x MC

Rating: PG

Warnings: mentions of war, a little bit of angst, military!jb

Summary: It’s the second-coming, and all she wants is to see him one last time.

The world I awaken to is dark, the means of light is the measly blue night lamp which flickers every few seconds. Suppressing a groan, I wake. It’s been months, months of sleeping on the floor, perhaps the effects of sleeping on a brittle and uncomfortable surface is finally starting to show through. The pain is something I can ignore, especially when there’s so many other things of higher importance. One being, the war.

Many call it the Second Coming. It felt much similar to the end of the world, I agree. The once empty hospital had become a refuge center for those displaced and without a home after the bombings began. Currently every room was occupied, every bed usurped. As a doctor, my responsibility was to head to the sick bay every morning, take care of as many wounded as I could, and return back to my sleeping quarters late in the evening. My mother shifts on the floor beside me, and I sit up. We’re lucky to still be together. I’m lucky to have her with me still. I never imagined a day where we would be working together side by side, yet seeing her face especially during this difficult era of darkness and gloom, brings back a temporary feeling of hope which I had much before our world went to shit.

The large clock up above on the tall walls says it’s much earlier than the rise of the sun, but I quietly gather the jacket bunched next to me, and exit the room. Mere awareness to the day brought back the memories of yesterday, and the day before…reminding me of what today is.

The halls are dark, asides from the emergency lights which cast them in an uncomfortable green glow. I've become accustomed to this eerie color, and continue down the corridor, and past the couple flights of stairs. The Western Hospital has become a center of hope for many. Those who are here are safe, they say. And they may think so, not realizing that we currently don’t have much defense guarding the place. That government asked Unit 13, which had been surveying the area around the hospital, to pull out months ago. A temporary adjustment they had said. They said that Unit 13 would be back, so that the hospital doesn’t stay unguarded for too long. Today the unit is supposed to return. I wrap the jacket around me tighter, inhaling the remnants of its previous user on it. The smell is almost gone, which makes my heart ache dully. He’s fading from this jacket, and I don’t want to forget him.

I open the door feeding into the main entrance of the hospital, searching the premise for any of my coworkers. I see several, sitting tiredly at what used to be the waiting room. They’re waiting, like so many others, like I am. Waiting for Unit 13 to come back.

Not long after, the sounds of a vehicle approach, must be a van of some sort. Up until now, my pulse had been relatively normal. But now, well, I can’t even think clearly enough to check how fast it is. It’s either he’s here or he’s not. He’s in this car, or he is dead. Hands fisting, I bunch the bottom flaps of his jacket into my fists. I should be ready to accept the latter, death is so common nowadays, it barely touches my conscience. But it would wreck my world if Jaebeom was dead. Many of my coworkers rush out to greet them, but I find myself planted in my position, unable to move.

God, I’m so scared.

My mind flicks back to a random instance, before all this. Jaebeom had been a part of my life for so many years, it was impossible to think of one without him in it. We had been together, unofficially and officially, for so long, I couldn’t think of one without him. We’re sitting in my old apartment, it had been Valentine’s Day. I completely forgot about the holiday, giving that I tended to overlook these things and poured my entire being into the residency I had obtained. Jaebeom had surprised me at my door, knowing I was home, with a giant bag filled with groceries. Let’s make dinner together, he had said. Minutes later I realized what the day was, and stared at him open-mouthed. He only laughed at me in response, brushing his hand over mine.

I look at them. They’re tired, and worn out. My hands are not as soft as they used to be, back when I used to take particular care of them to make sure they stay soft. All that changed after the war began. I stopped wearing makeup, stopped cutting my hair, stopped wearing anything particular to my fancy, asides from the dark blue scrubs I carried. Like the ones I wear now. My hair is always in a simple braid, definitely much longer than it used to be. I look older, and feel more tired than I actually am. Some days, I am so close to giving up. Then I remember my mother, who sleeps next to me.

And I remember Jaebeom, who’s outside on the frontlines, every day.

Soldiers always wear these dog tags as necklaces, an inexpensive piece of identification, a silver chain with a tag identifying their name. It has no real purpose aside from that, no tracking device inside. When Jaebeom had received his, he gave it to me. Maybe it was his equivalent for something else, I don’t know. Legally, there’s nothing binding us together, though I think about it whenever I’m trying to fall asleep. Between all of this, the bombings, the death, worrying about day-to-day survival, the idea of marriage didn’t come up as conversation between us. He didn’t even say anything about it to me the day he gave me his necklace, the day he left with Unit 13. But god, that look in his eyes. I don’t think I would ever forget. It spoke so much louder than any of his words.

And there it is again. My hands loosen against the jacket, sliding against my sides. They’ve started to walk in, the other professionals are shouting orders to them about identification and certain protocols, though muffled. He’s at the back of the group, and I know I’m not imagining it, because he’s staring back at me, equally shocked. I don’t know if that word even covers how I feel, months of feeling sad, lonely, desperate, angry.

Hopeful.

Why is he shocked? I would have asked, had my sanity been at its norm. Why is he shocked? I’m not the one who’s going into the red front everyday. But I know later, after taking one step in his direction, that turns into several until my face is buried in his shoulder. Maybe it was that Jaebeom saw so many people die too. Maybe he felt just as desperate as I did.

“Jae, oh my god.”

“Oh my god,” He repeats softly, both his arms squeezing around me. It’s been so long. He smells the same, sounds the same, it makes me want to cry. It would be a cruel dream if I were to wake up now. But he feels so so real, part of me — no all of me — believes that he is, in fact, here. He’s back.

I still have a couple hours before my shift begins, finding myself sitting in the creepy green hallway. Jaebeom leans against the wall, head resting upwards. We’re quiet, not much noise asides from his thumb softly rubbing against the back of my hand.

“You still wear it.” He says, drifting his focus to the necklace I wear.

“Of course.” My eyes shift to his cheek. “Kind of considered it like our version of a promise ring.”

“Promise ring?” Then he laughs, making my insides bubble. “Isn’t that what, like teenagers give to each other when they’re dating?”

I find myself chuckling with him. “Sure. But it is a promise. A promise that you were going to come back.”

“How about the other kind of ring?” Jae asks gently, eyes finding mine, which stare at the wall across from us. “Legally binding, and all.”

A hum escapes my lips. “Hm. I guess this could be that too.”

“Would you want it to be?”

“I wouldn’t mind.” I shake my head. “But it doesn’t take the fact that you still go out there everyday. And one day you might not come back.”

He doesn’t say anything to that, knowing well that it’s true. He has probably seen many make similar promises to their loved ones, only to break it and not return. He has seen many die on the front, it clouds his eyes and turns it stormy. Jaebeom looks down. At least now I know he won’t be going much further than the hospital for a good while. Though the stability between us is not permanent, I know well enough to take advantage of every moment possible. This world feels like the end, and I would not like things to go down without at least some happiness.

“You know, I would have…” Jaebeom starts, looking at his hands. Then turns his head to me. “Had the bombings not been there, I would have asked you.”

“Had you asked, I would have said yes.” I respond simply. I glance at my watch, it buzzes. I have an hour left. “Though, you didn’t exactly have to ask. When the war started, I assumed we were there.”

With this, it’s hard to have uncertainties. Had things been normal, maybe I wouldn’t have been too sure about taking that step with Jaebeom. But now that the sky is crumbling and many days are red, I know exactly what I want. And he knows too.

“Was it scary?” I find myself asking, genuinely curious, but equally concerned for the things he has seen. Somewhere between our conversation, we scooted closer, constantly one limb touching another, his arm wraps around my shoulder. Jaebeom nods.

“Yeah. I was scared that I might die at any moment. Obviously death scares me, but your face kept me pushing through. I just wanted to see you again, missed you so much.”

“Whenever you want to talk about Jae, I’m always here.” I pat his knee. “But I think you really should get some sleep. You’ve been through a lot, just take some time to sit back. You’re okay now.” I move away from him just to get a better look. “You’re back.”

The kiss is different from the first time after seeing him in months. That one had been desperate, thousands of emotions flying at each other in distress. My elbows hook around his neck, the momentum knocking the both of us back against the wall. Jaebeom snorts against my mouth. Though the bigger problem has not gone away, it makes it that much tolerable when he’s around. When he’s here, I’m okay.

“God,” He mumbles after pulling away. “I can’t even tell you how much I love you. If I could, I would totally marry you.”

I smile into him. “One of the many things I love about you Jaebeom, you always seem to know what I’m thinking too.”

#jaebeom #got7jb #got7 jb #the great war #second coming

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