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#FIVE FUCKING YEARS SINCE ITS LITERAL FOUNDING AND HELPED TO FOUND IT AND IM STILL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! i go back to square one EVERY
pepprs · 9 months
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i literally need there to stop being situations circumstances events developments complications and happenstances. for the fucking love of god
#purrs#but there will never stop being any of those things so actually what i literally need is to learn HARD AND FAST how to stop getting so#fucking triggered over a situation i know is NOTHING so bad that im anxious for the entire rest of the day and can’t even get any work done.#like (jade from tesco voice) girls… im not gonna lie to you. i think therapy is not working. i think i am not mentally or emotionally strong#enough to work in this job and i think i am never going to get mentally or emotionally stronger. ive been stuck in the quicksand too long#and now im atrophying. i cannot develop the situational awareness and motor skills or awakeness (and i mean AWAKEness.) to safely and#consistently drive a car. i cannot develop the intellect and drive and courage to get an advanced degree or be in a leadership position that#everyone actually sees as a leadership position lmfao. and i cannot develop the emotional intelligence and inner peace to not get triggered#out of my fucking mind at work to the point where im having anxiety heart palpitations and fighting back tears. i am just stuck as i am#forever. and you know how i know that? BECAUSE IVE WORKED AT THE NATIONALLY RENOWNED CENTER FOR YOU-ARE-NOT-STUCK-AS-YOU-ARE-FOREVER FOR#FIVE FUCKING YEARS SINCE ITS LITERAL FOUNDING AND HELPED TO FOUND IT AND IM STILL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! i go back to square one EVERY#FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to tell other people who they are is what they bring and the world can change and whatever when i am#the fucking antithesis of that. when i don’t even believe my own words. like the way i want to punch out every window in this building rn i#HATE BEING LIKe this i hate being in the psychic prison of scared little girl mode all the time forever no matter what and being beyond help#and disappointing and burdening the people around me because i can’t be fucking normal about like. hierarchy and institutional politics LOL#delete later
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theaviskullguy · 4 months
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D&D Obey me- Lucifer, Mammon, + The Twins!
@trash-opposum here you go. seperate post so people can find it but here!
Disclaimer, if i do the rest, im going to avoid making EVERYONE a tiefling or aasimar, those are just for who i think are exceptionally appropriate/is how im playing them as my current dnd character is just Belphegor. If yall want me to make the others (Asmo, Levi, Satan, maybe Diavlo but who knows) let me know!
so let's GOOOOOOOO
Lucifer
Aasimar, the kind from Mordenkainen so no special extra type
Noble background, mainly cause i cant think of anything else
As for class, we have four potential options
Two varieties of Paladin, cleric, or warlock
First paladin variety- Oathbreaker
In this case he was probably originally Devotion before the revolution, and whoops! Oath Broken!
It'd either be a point of pride for him ("I fought for what I believe is right, and there is no shame in that") or he'd hide it from everyone
Second paladin- order of the Crown! obviously because of Diavlo. fellas is it gay to swear undying devotion to your future ki- *gets shot*
Cleric, then Order Domain. clerics are sworn to gods and not demons but shush his patron might still be Diavlo. in an actual D&D setting i can see him instead swearing to like Tyr or something.
he wont be healing. clerics are tanky he's out here ordering people to drop their weapons and then fucking murdering them
Warlock, gotta be fiend patron. im not sure if its possible to be your own patron but itd be funny as shit. worse case its fiend patron with some flavor homebrew as i call it to literally just be a fiend in his own right climbing the infernal ladder as he levels up
i promise the others wont be as long
Mammon
Earth Genasi as those are descended from the Dao, which are the greediest genie. Also, they just look rich with gem-like stuff growing in cracks on their skin you just know Mammon's one of them
Charlatan background. he is scamming people left and right and it works
Rogue, thief subclass. Honestly any subclass other than Arcane Trickster (hes not smart enough) or Scout (hes not equipped for the "outside of civilization" shit)
Unlike for Lucifer, the others have Backstory! Woo!
Mammon is the son of a Dao and a human. His human parent helped him escape from the Elemental Plane of Earth, but then he was left on his own
So. He quickly learned how to con people. At first it was for survival, and then greed.
He found Lucifer while running one of these cons. In particular, his "con" was a vanishing act. He claimed he could become "one with the earth" when really he was curling up on the ground and casting Pass Without Trace. Lucifer saw through this illusion and threatened to out Mammon as a conman, unless he joined him as his ally. So, he did.
Lucifer keeps him in check, but that's not to say Mammon isn't fully on the straight and narrow
Beelzebub
Tiefling!!! variant tiefling favored to have fly wings.
Outlander background, ill explain why in a sec
Barbarian. Need I say More?
actually i will- Totem animal, spirit of the bear. Since bear gets resistance to all damage (other than psychic) while raging and i feel that works with Beel more than anything
now for his backstory! he isnt canon in the campaign im playing belphie in but his backstory has the same catalyst. When he was five years old, the kingdom he lived in was caught in a rebellion against a tyrant. In which, Beel saw his older sister get killed by a royal guard. Belphie was going to be killed- but was protected by a tiefling in a knight's armor (my previous character who was killed. rip avi)
Beel, in his five-year-old mind, just ran. He took off without a second thought- a decision he now regrets deeply.
He ran into the surrounding woodlands. And gets an Atalanta-style backstory. For those who dont know, Atalanta was a princess who was abandoned in the woods and raised by bears
So Beel is raised by bears. Which is way better than being raised by wolves
They teach him how to hunt, gather, and its all well and cute. He sometimes entered the rebuilding kingdom to trade in leftover meat for clothes and weapons- and, to try and find Belphie. No luck.
Eventually, Beel grows to be a powerful warrior. Hangry, sure, but his rage hold the rage of freaking bears. so keep him fed. please.
Anyways Lucifer and the gang (everyone minus belphie) encounter Beel in the woods, watching the cubs. Beel agrees to adventure with them. He says goodbye to bear mom and promises to visit- hopefully, with his twin, next time.
Belphegor
hehe its ME
Zariel Tiefling but i dont give a shit about the infernal legacy its just There. tail is a cow's tail he basically just looks like his demon form
Hermit background. again ill explain in a sec
Druid, circle of stars! to people about to scream "i just checked the wikidot why he no circle of dreams??" because that doesnt have to do with dreams and sleep as i wished it did. its the obligatory faewild subclass. i hate the faewild subclasses (other than the bard one that ones fun)
Currently n the campaign im in we're level 5, so his two wildshapes are wolf, and a bull. But he also has his three starry forms due to being circle of stars.
now. backstory! strap in this is Long
he's saved by my previous dnd character- Avi- and is taken in by him and his husband when the rebellion was over.
Except. due to seeing his sister die and not seeing his twin after that, Belphie assumed the worse and thought that Beel also died and he was the last one of his family
He fell into a pretty deep depression and had no motivation to do anything besides sleep, cry, and eat very tiny portions of meals.
eventually his adoptive dads start telling him stories. and. surprisingly. they seem to help! Belphie is still a shrinking violet but he eats more and can cook and do basic chores!
And Then Avi Goes Missing
His husband- Skull- asks the now 11 year old Belphie if he wants to come along to find him. Belphie declines, saying he needs to get in control of his life and some big quest is probably just gonna leave him with more trauma
Skull lets him stay home, and gives him one of his feathers. So if Belphie ever needs a hand, he can call Skull over and. well. have one of his dads at least
For five years, Belphie took to studying druidcraft, and the stars. He also enchanted his favorite pillow to float and be able to carry him. So he had a little more comfort when going out to buy groceries. He'd make detailed star maps to sell in return
When the sun rose on his 16th birthday, he left a note at home saying he felt ready to tackle his own destiny, and left.
He had a brush with Lucifer, but not Beel. so close, buddy.
Anyways he arrives at The Hunters Guild, finds his parents again, and takes residence in the observatory, where he studies his stars and druid magic again. But also, sleep and dreams.
and. yeah thats where we leave off! god that was long im sorry
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splatzzlive · 3 months
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bit of a rant/vent cause i realised something
(skip to second paragraph for stuff abt my yt)
if yall didnt know, im trans. idk wth i am but i label myself as mascbeing (masc-presenting person just existing) and i used to have really bad dysphoria but ever since my parents started calling me my preffered name and pronouns (even if they dont when im not around) ive found myself almost competely rid of it. like ive stopped wearing binders because i didnt care as much anymore and partly because they were wrecking my body. i knew that being accepted by the people around you could help, but i didnt realise it was that much. my parents are really consevative which i didnt know until recently and they are seriously comvinced this is a phase even tho its lasted like 5 years but i somehow convinced myself they werent. after finally accepting that they dont beleive me ive been getting worse again. i still dont wear my binders but i get dysphoria over other things and i think i need to go back to therapy but my therapist didnt beleive i was trans either. she was a christian therapist and the second i mentioned wanting to go on hrt she brushed it off and sad "medication isnt always the solution" as if i havent been dealing with these feelings for five fucking years and it seriously made me hate her after all the good she did for me. wow i had so many more feeling than i thought i did lol this was supposed to be positive um anyway...
ive been taking a really long break from youtube for my mental health but it hasnt gotten much better so tomorrow after my exam im gonna record the next episode for my minecraft series. see yall on sunday hopefully with that video! <3
also i changed my pronouns because ive found i dont actually like he/him. they/them isnt super god either but i dont mind it much! id prefer if yall used literally any neopronouns but ive specified hx/hxm/hxself (said hix/hem/hixself/hemself), star/stars/starself and bun/buns/bunself! thank you!!
thank you so much for reading and dealing with my emotional shit lol
take care of yourselves, drink water and eat if you havent yet today, brush your teeth and take your meds, i love yall /p
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raikaren · 2 years
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My story about Loneliness
I think its time to share my story. People in this story are not on Tumbrl, but I still change their names.
Okay, so first thing is that I´m on autism spectrum. Making friends is really difficult for me. Story begins when I gratuated in 2012 and started to look for a job. I wanted to move out of my hometown, closer to Capital. After few months I got a job offer, wait where is it? Google helped, between two big cities and 3 hour drive to Capital? Alright, lets go! So, I packed my things and my parents on a moving truck and off we went, literally Into the Unknown, I had never even visited that city. First months were easy and fun, getting to know my new hometown and most important, trying to make friends. After a few months I changed to different section at work, closed area. There were few older workers and 5 other workers, my aged, all five were friends with each other, also outside work. Perfect, I try to be friends with them! And oh boy, did I try. Long. I had no idea where elsewhere would I find friends and I was too embarrased to admit to my co-workers that I had no friends. I tried for one year. Second. Third. Still no social life outside of work. Thank god I knew an internet friend 60 km away who also introduced me to Tumbrl (Hi Emppu!), I honestly dont know how I would have survived without her.
On 2016 I decited fuck it, if I dont get friends in here, I try to find a boyfriend. I joined Tinder and thats where I met Johathan. We didnt match, but instead we became friends. YES! FINALLY! My first friend! Later that summer I found two other friends, Jack and Hannah. And then I started to catch feelings for Jonathan. Fuuuuck. I didnt have courage to tell how I felt, because he was too important for me and I didnt want to ruin our friendship.
Then, on 2017, after living in here for 5 years I decited to celebrate a little bit and hosted “Rai 5 years in City”-coffee party. I invited almost all I knew from work (all women) and Hannah. I invited 10 people on total, on monday two people were coming. Two, Hannah and former co-worker. On wendesday they both cancelled. No guests, no party. I havent hosted any party ever since.
And here comes really personal, embarrasing thing about Jonathan. We went to movies a lot and we watched tv series together. But he farted. A lot. Not with sounds though, but every time while watching something a half-way through a slight smell of fart started to come from his side. Every. Time. I was like “ew it stinks- Naah hes handsome, hairy and awesome company, whatever.” But at some point I have to mention about this. Then he suggested we should have a Lord of the Rings Extended Edition Marathon once. Holy hell, yes, lets go, but NOW I have to mention to him about his little problem, but HOW. How can I talk about something this personal? I mentioned about it to him via WhatsApp and he promised we would try to do something about it.
And then came the fateful day in 2020. At this point its important to say, that every time I get embarrased or nervous theres two choices: Either comes “the word vomit” or I completely freeze. So, he comes over, we watch almost last episode of Witcher season one and after watching he asks me about his problem and then it happens. Then I get really nervous and say The Bad Thing, really bad thing. After saying it happened two things. I realized how awful I said and I saw the hurt look in his face and then comes the total opposite. I completely freeze over. I can still joke and talk, but inside im completely stuck, I cant apologize to him at that moment. After he left I was horrified, I need to apologize him, not via Whatsapp, this is way too big thing to just text him like “im sorry”. I need to apologize to him face to face. Three days later I go to my  hometown for summer holiday. Last day of holiday I check on facebook and...
“Jonathan is in a Relationship with Miriam.”
Oh. Okay. Keep it cool Rai, keep it cool. Now we relax and give those two their personal time and space, I ask him to come over later on the summer/fall. I gave them space, I texted Jonathan maybe once a week. I also unfollowed him on Insta. On halloween I finally texted him and asked him to come over, I needed to talk to him about something. Oh hes busy, okay, I wait. Week later I text again. Two weeks later again. For 6 months I tried to get him to come to my place so I could properly apologize that awful thing I said. On march, still no answer. I talked with my mom about it and she thought that maybe Miriam is one of those jealous girlfriends who dont like that their boyfriend has girls as friends. Finally I has to apologize to him via Whatsapp. No response. Nothing. Three months, complete silence. I still dont know what he thinks of stupid thing I said or my apology. Then, summer 2021 I see him tagging Miriam on a post and I think, fuck it, lets see how she looks like..
Our cleaner lady from work. My closet neighbor. The one I see at work every single day, thats her. Holy Shit. I havent talked to her, she still has no idea at work who I am. 
Also on 2021 Jack and Hannah both got work from nearby city 60 km away so they moved there. Great. So its me by myself now.
I know. “Friendships dont fall on distances”. But heres a catch. Hannah is friends with Miriam. Yeah. So that sucks. Im horrified she will  tell Miriam who I am, that would made my workdays hell. Also about Jack. He has tried to hit me up atleast 6 times, I´ve turned him down all on those times. He is not my type of guy and this sounds really rude, but in my eyes hes ugly. Great friend and company, but ugly. 
On september 2021 I give up. I delete Jonathan from facebook friends and stop texting him. Im done. I´ve tried to be in contact, God I´ve tried. I haven´t been in much contact with Jack or Hannah either, Jack just broke up with her girlfriend and Im sure he´ll try to ask me on a date once again. About Hannah, we still send whatsapp messages and so on. 
So yeah. I got friends for 4 years and I lost them. Well, “lost”, Im still in contact with Hannah but still. But in here I still have no-one. “Why dont I move away” because I love my job and this town. I frigging love it. But about this loneliness part, I dont know what to do. im out of energy, im empty. I have no strenght to find new friends and I have very little energy to keep on touch with Jack and Hannah. 
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weirdmageddon · 3 years
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five years too late let’s analyze this. the commentary has gotten me back into gravity falls reigniting thoughts and insights i came to years ago
i love everything about this commentary in general it hits the points of humor, genuine analysis of the characters, but most of all im so glad hirsch addressed that the droid not detecting any fear from dipper here doesnt make any scientific sense because that was a massive CinemaSins moment for me
IDK the fact that dipper can fucking stand after an airship crash because theres a bigger threat at hand is literally one of the defining capabilities owed to adrenaline lol...... IM SORRY im a biopsychology student if i dont point that out iwill seethe and die because that was just . its a grudge ive held for a long time about this episode but didnt rant about because it was something so minor and i’m sure nobody would care.
i was 13 when this episode came out and i’m almost 19 now, i had a special interest in biology and i still do but now i’m actually having college classes in biopsychology so i can give my arguments more oomph now. and i have to say, now that i know more about the brain and autonomic nervous system the more this scene bugs me, if that was even possible. and it says a lot of dipper and ford’s relationship.
if dipper clearly wasnt calm before, why would he be now just because he’s put up an outwardly confident facade? before he was in the flight but now hes in the fight. my boy just rode on top of a spaceship by nothing but a magnet gun that could detach at any time if it failed and then the ship crashed, he sustained injuries, is in emotional turmoil because he thinks his uncle is Fucking Dead and the threat of a security droid that detects adrenaline is on his tail and produces a Big Fucking Gun in response to dipper saying “i hAvE a MaGNeT gUn” and hes screaming and has his teeth clenched but sure there’s no adrenaline coursing through his body in that moment i can totally believe that
when dipper asks what happened, ford says “the orb didn’t detect any chemical signs of fear, it assumed the threat was neutralized and self-disassembled” but i don’t think measuring someone’s heartbeat alone is particularly relevant in detecting ... chemical signs of fear?? they dont really tell you this shit but noradrenaline (and maybe adrenaline too if the acetylcholine from sympathetic outflow always activates the adrenal medulla??, theres two pathways) is always active in small quantities to make sure your parasympathetic nervous system doesnt slow your heart to dangerous levels on its own, regardless of your emotions. it’s just a homeostatic mechanism. your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are CONSTANTLY modulating control of your organs on a see-saw, literally with every breath you take. simply standing upright causes specialized mechanoreceptor neurons in blood vessels to signal your brain to project signals to release catecholamines via the sympathetic nervous system to constrict your blood vessels so that blood is able to reach your brain and not pool in your legs. i have a deficiency in my body’s ability to adapt to this which is why i know so much about it. if i stand up my heart races to compensate. i’m not feeling fear, my body is just adjusting—albeit grossly and incompetently lol.
but what im saying here is that the security system is flawed. it’s a cool idea to have security droids detect fear, but in practice by detecting adrenaline, and not even directly by detecting the molecule itself—it’s done in a roundabout way by reading the heartbeat, could be a recipe for false alarms. like what if someone’s on beta-blockers. that’s not really an adequate way to measure “fear”; there’s so many variables that could interfere with the measurement the farther you abstract from what you’re really trying to detect. and besides, adrenaline is NOT just a sign of fear, it’s just for preparing the body for action. i know the sympathetic nervous system and adrenaline is constantly linked with the “fight-or-flight” reaponse to a stressor, but 99.9% of the time the sympathetic nervous system is used in your life is to balance out your parasympathetic nervous system to maintain homeostatic equilibrium for mundane things.
i think detecting amygdalar activation would be more efficient in detecting fear. the amygdala sends projections to the hypothalamus which then in turn modulates the autonomic nervous systems. but the amygdala is intensely activated specifically in response to a fear-inducing stimulus (it does activate in response to other emotions but they’re mostly negative and is most activated by startle and fear), and wouldnt be highly activated by many other confounding variables like measurement of the heartbeat could be. the amygala is one of the first stops directly from external stimuli.
to show you how integrated the amygdala is as the first step in registering fear after receiving input from sensory stimuli let’s look at the auditory-amygdala connection for example
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see how the auditory thalamus projects to the primary auditory cortex and auditory association cortex? the cortex is where conscious awareness of what the stimuli is comes from. this is the “high road”. it goes sensing -> perception -> emotional response. but sometimes you can be startled without even processing what it is you’re sensing, like the startle response of an alarm or a phone ringing in a quiet house before you even register what it is. this goes sensing -> emotional response, without perception happening until after you’ve already felt the startle. that’s when it takes the “low road”. here’s a simplified version:
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even if that were the case with these droids though it’s obvious dipper is still fearful on some level here. his body language, voice, expressions all give it away. for the amygdala, aggression isnt too off from fear so it would be detected equally.
the reason this is so important is because ford uses this as evidence for why dipper is special, “i did it?” “you did it. this is what i was talking about, how many 12 year olds do you think are capable of doing what you’ve just done?”
but like....did he really? i’m not saying this to shoot dipper down or make him out to be more of a wuss, he was incredibly strong-willed here and i dont want to take that away from him because it WAS growth on his part. but the underlying psychophysiological reactions of aggression and fear shouldn’t be that different and this was a total asspull. maybe the droid was so old that it fucked up. maybe dipper being covered in grime and dirt made it harder for the droid to measure the correct heart rate through photoplethysmography (im assuming since they use a camera and are non-contact).
and in all honesty everything i just said brings into question the interpersonal healthiness of ford’s judgements, what he thinks, his expectations, and how he communicates that. in this video alex already talks about how ford is projecting onto dipper. and i think ford may be projecting his expectations for himself onto people who are not him, and the fact that it’s on dipper here makes it far more unfortunate. you realize how much this boy idolizes ford, right? how much impressions matter? dipper even tells himself before he leaves in this same episode, “all right dipper, this is your first big mission with great uncle ford. don’t mess this up.”
even though it’s unstated, the implicit message dipper is perceiving from ford based on their dynamic is: “do you have what it takes for me to be proud of you?” and to accomplish this he must be like ford, even though he’s clearly not and he knows this. he says “i don’t think have what it takes. i was tricked by bill, i was wrong about stan’s portal, heck, i can’t even operate this magnet gun right.” then, by simple chance without even knowing what he did, he activates the magnet gun and pulls out the adhesive, which immediately takes the focus away from what dipper was telling ford about his feelings of inadequacy to ford saying, “yes! dipper, you found the adhesive!”
these thoughts of dipper’s hang in the air without resolve or comment from ford. we don’t know what ford would have said. but it then becomes painfully self-evident in the scene immediately after when the droids emerge and ford tells dipper, “they’re security droids and they detect adrenaline. you simply have to not feel any fear and they won’t see you”, to which dipper replies with an exasperated (and rightful) “WHAT?”
dipper goes in a panic trying to indirectly tell his uncle that this isn’t something he can do. and he is completely right and valid to be freaked out by that full stop. that IS crazy. you can’t control your fear. you can control how you interpret that fear in your higher brain regions but the physiological changes will stick around for longer than it takes to cognitively calm down. it’s easy for me to detach from my emotions to analyze them, but being able to do this does not come naturally for everyone. even i have an irrational fear of wasps and i can’t control it by detaching myself, my body is just automatically primed to get the fuck out of there. i know it’s stupid and i know it’s irrational and isn’t helpful to get myself worked up but i literally can’t stop how my body reacts no matter how i cognitively think about it. expecting composure from dipper in a situation like this when he’s being made to consciously be aware of his anxiety is absolutely fucking insane. look what you did, placing these cruel expectations on him, now he’s afraid of being afraid! this isn’t a case where two wrongs cancel out, they just stack on top of each other.
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there’s a good reason these scenes were put side by side but it seems up until now it had remained unanalyzed.
what dipper fears from ford is disappointment. not living up to his uncle’s (quite frankly badly placed) expectations for a twelve year old with anxiety. not once did ford say or subliminally communicate “i don’t expect you to be able to do what i can since you are not as experienced as i am and that’s perfectly okay, no judgements”. you don’t put a child on bike before training wheels. you don’t throw a kid into a swimming pool without giving them swimming lessons. the way ford is doing it, there’s no room for trial and error or mistakes that are an opportunity to grow and learn; instead, it’s life or death. he only seems to pride dipper on what he can do while ignoring the underlying struggles that plague him and never making it known it’s okay for dipper to fail in front of his hero and that he won’t think anything less of him for it.
and that’s why i found the ending scene for dipper and ford’s adventure in this episode to feel so.. wrong. on a scientific and social level. because by the sound of it ford focused more on what dipper had done to dismantle the droid (the droid not detecting any fear) instead of how dipper displayed love and protection for him even if he was truly afraid. what if the science was accurate and the droid detected adrenaline while dipper was confidently standing up for his uncle. would ford still be proud of him regardless?
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deadontheinsidebut · 4 years
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Hi angel!! I just wanted to say that I just found you today and I think you’re really talented! But I was wondering if I could have hc’s for suga, oikawa, and kuroo where you’re best friends with them but one day you wake up with them in your bed and ur like wait we just had a one night stand 😳. I hope this is okay and if you aren’t comfortable writing this I def understand!! Thank you!! 💞
HI ANON!!! That’s literally so nice of you wtf😳✨💗 Im sending you all the positive vibes and I’m hoping you have a wonderful day/night. 😌💗✨💗✨💗
— Waking up from a one night stand w/ Suga, Oikawa, and Kuroo
a/n: all the characters are aged up!! And there are mentions of alcohol and protective friends and siblings but it’s all cute and fun :))
—Sugawara Koshi
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The two of you met in high school and immediately hit it off when you decided to become the manager for Karasuno’s volleyball team
Together, you, Daichi, and Suga formed the parent trio and looked over your little crows with pure dedication
But you and Suga had always been a little closer than the rest with your hidden sassiness and love for everyone around you
So five years after your graduation, it’s not a surprise that you two have managed to keep the bond alive
It’s been a long night at the karaoke bar with you crying over your ex dumping you and Suga doing everything in his power to comfort you
You’re definitely not in the best mindset right now as you sing your heart out to the boy who broke your heart and take shot after shot with your bestfriend
The sloshing of the alcohol in your stomach is burning and Suga tries his best to keep the two of you afloat as he calls an Uber
But he’s so out of it that he forgets your address??? So you two just end up at his house??? And the night is now fair game
You wake up with a killer headache and the smell of pancakes in the room next door
The clothes you’re wearing looks nothing like the ones from last night
Instead, you’re wearing an oversized gray sweater that smells like warm vanilla and laundry detergent
You step out of the strange bed only to notice the framed picture of you and Suga on his desk and you immediately knew where you were
As you make your way through the familiar hallway to the kitchen, you groan and whimper from the pain in your head
Suga is standing there in his pjs making breakfast??
And you stand there in shock as he turns his head to you and ask if you had a good sleep
You’re sputtering as you ask him why you’re here and what happened
And he sheepishly starts to explain the situation and how you two had ended up getting it on while drunk as hell
So you’re sitting on his chair trying to process the night as he serves you the pancakes and you go “what the actual fuck???”
You two eat breakfast in confused silence until you choke on a piece of the pancake and Suga is rushing to get you water and you two are laughing at how awkward you are
The laughing eases the tension and you two are back to just talking and teasing. He starts to apologize for last night but you reassure him that it’s definitely something to cross off the bucket list
And who knows; maybe it’s something you might want to happen twice
—Oikawa Tooru
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You’re Iwaizumi’s little sister and you’ve known Oikawa since you were children
You were always by his side and watching every game of his up until he left for Brazil to pursue his dreams of volleyball
You’ve always had a crush on him and your friendship has always been strong, but maybe a future with him was too much to hope for?
Until he came to visit
You two were catching up at a local bar and laughing as if you had never been separated at all
He begins to order drinks for you and you start to blush at his familiar chivalry
You two have basically caught up on everything when you start to feel your eyes droop and your body lose its normal functions
Surprisingly, even Oikawa is a lightweight and almost passes out until he feels you tug at his sleeve and he mans up just enough to call you both a taxi to his hotel room
The smell of alcohol on Oikawa’s breath was the last thing you remembered before your eyes drifted shut
You wake up to the blinding light of the sun coming from the windows and peek open an eye to see a tuffle of dark brown hair
‘omfg...’ is all you think before you let out an ear-shattering shriek
Oikawa’s head shoots up and is darting his head side to side before registering your terrified face as you gather the blankets to cover your naked body
“Oh god... Iwa-chan is going to kill me,” Oikawa let’s out before gulping nervously
As you two begin to put together the pieces of last night, you let out a little giggle
Oikawa is actually horrified and is slightly shaking as he asks you what’s so funny
“Isn’t it so funny how I haven’t seen you in over a year and this is the first thing we do when you come back?”
He’s scratching the back of his head and turns a dark shade of red
And that’s when you had a brilliant idea
You pick up the phone and dial Iwaizumi’s number, eagerly awaiting his answer to tell him everything that happened
“Hey y/n, what’s up? You do realize our timezones are hours apart and I should be sleeping right now.”
“OIKAWA AND I HAD S*X!!!” You shout excitedly
You put him on speaker when he didn’t speak for a couple seconds
“YOU AND SHITTYKAWA DID WHAT???”
Oikawa is literally shivering in the corner with no clothes on and you’re roaring with laughter
“THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIS ASS, IM BEATING HIM ALL THE WAY TO ANOTHER PLANET-“
“P-please spare me!” Oikawa interrupts meekly
“But... just tell him to take good care of you since I can’t be there. You hear me shittykawa? Take good care of my little sister. Part of her belongs to you now.”
Oikawa looks from you to the phone and back to you before giving you a firm nod and a “yes sir” to the phone
Well, I guess that’s one way to start a relationship
—Kuroo Tetsurou
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You met Kuroo the same time he met Kenma
The three of you went to the same middle school and Kuroo is the reason why you decided to play volleyball
Your job as the libero was full of diving so of course you would go hang out with Kuroo and Kenma full of fresh bruises and scrapes
Kuroo was always super protective of you from the get go and never wanted you to feel any sort of pain so it wasn’t a surprise when he was the first to help you clean up your wounds
He likes to tease you from time to time about how a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be hurting herself like that but has always supported you whenever you lost a game and encouraged you to carry on
So when you decided to go pro after highschool, he was right by your side
And it was even better since he worked with the Japan Volleyball Association
But after a devastating loss against one of the best teams in the league, you were a crying mess in Kuroo’s arms
He held you tighter than he’s ever held you and whispered words of encouragement as you two sat on your bedroom floor
And you two did the regular ritual for a depressing night where you down shot after shot while letting out every worry and doubt you’ve ever had
You were lost in the alcohol and the room was swirling more than you’ve ever experienced
You woke up to a pair of familiar biceps around your body
As you turn your body to face him, you’re met with a sly grin and beaming eyes
“GET OFF OF ME YOU BAFFOON” you cry out as you try to shove the beautiful man off your bed
“That’s not what you were saying last night,” Kuroo responds while cocking a brow
“Oh shut it you Cheshire Cat,” you mumble half-heartedly
He snakes his arm back around you and inhales the sweet scent of your neck before continuing to talk
“You know princess, if I had known you would be this good, I would’ve hit on you a looong time ago.”
You roll your eyes at his comment before surprising him by cuddling him back
“It’s not like I would’ve let you,” you mumble back
You feel him press a soft kiss on your head before holding you even closer
The day after, you two met up with Kenma for dinner and he immediately picked up on your guys’ suspicious behaviour
“You guys had s*x didn’t you,” he deadpans
“KENMA AJAOSNOSKS” was literally your reaction
Kuroo just sat there like a sly kitty cat
“You told him didn’t you?” You basically sneer
“Ah ah ah, a man never kisses and tells. Or in this case, smashes and tells?”
“No y/n, you just happen to smell like trash today so I assumed Kuroo left his mark on you.”
“HEY I’m not trash!” Kuroo barks back with a slight pout on his face
He pulls you closer until you were basically one nose apart
“Although, I don’t mind leaving my mark on you to make sure everyone knows you’re mine.”
Kenma: get me out of here
Taglist:
@janellion @darkdinosaurpeanut @personality-still-downloading
People who may enjoy hcs of their lovers:
@herakosmos @myhaikyuuhq @shrimpyblog @sugacookiies @anianimol @spicyricerice @sstardusty
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Band of Brothers-
Cute/charming things they say when they walk into a room and see you/you walk into a room and they see you:
Babe: 
“oh SHIIIIIT! There’s my BABY! Do you see her, fellas? GodDAMN, I’m a lucky sonofabitch!” 
(you blush so hard and are just like Babe, we’re at work stahp it but he dgaf).
It’s embarrassing and always makes Martin glare so imploringly at you that you’ll go over to Babe just to make him be quiet. Because, you know, YOU’RE AT WORK. 
This bitch is shameless when it comes to loving on you, having once come to stand next to you when Sink was giving an important announcement and straight-up PINCHED. YOUR. ASS. 
how you didn’t yelp is a miracle, and how no one else seemed to notice was equally astounding 
(oh, the boys noticed. They kinda shipped it tho, so it was more a matter of hiding their joy). 
Needless to say, it only happened the once, something you made Babe swear after you pulled him aside and punched him in the arm. 
Don’t worry, you kissed it better.
Roe: 
bb boy doesn’t say anything at first, 
the smile he saves just for you is playing at his lips as you walk up to meet him, tho.
The moment you’re close enough that he can smell the  sweet mint of your gum, he’ll whisper something sweet like “hey you” or “mon amor”, or maybe just your name 
(bc let’s be honest, his accent is 10 out of 10 and he could read me the dictionary and I’d still rock an ugly giggle/snort combo). 
If it’s a more serious situation, like if you’re hurt oh lordy
he will literally shout your name until either you shout back or someone tells him where you are. 
I could see him being a face holder, in the sense that he does it to reassure himself that you’re okay and make sure he has your undivided attention. 
Since getting injured in Carentan, you hadn’t been as close to the frontlines as you had been, so when you were needed you are REALLY NEEDED, 
and even if he didn’t like it Gene knew you were the best at what you did. 
Gene also feels better if he knows where you are.
 Even when you eventually return to Easy, he will feel better knowing which Foxhole you’re in, and knowing he’s seen to it your first aid kit was fully stocked.
Liebgott: 
THAT FUCKER’S SMIRKING AT YOU SO OPENLY that whoever he had been talking to instantly goes 
*sigh* y/n’s just came in, didn’t she? 
And he won’t even ANSWER because he’s already shoving past them to walk up and eye you with obvious satisfaction. 
“Bout time you showed up,” he’d say casually, hands finding your hips giving them a quick squeeze. 
“Sooner we get briefed, sooner we can get outta here.” 
(You’re not fully sure what ‘getting outta here’ entails, but if the way he looked at you was any indication, you had a feeling it didn’t involve anything less than PG-13 sexy times.)
Bull: 
“Hey, little lady.”
He’ll say it no matter how tall or short you are, how wide or how narrow.
He will always say it to you that when you first see each other in the morning 
(sometimes, you wake up to Hey, little lady being kissed into the soft skin behind your ear.) 
(Once while on a 48 hour pass, he’d woken you up that way in a REAL bed and the two of you had nearly gotten him sent up Curahee for being late coming back because you’d ended up spending more time in that bed than either of you anticipated Whoops)
(Even if he had been late, he definitely wouldnt have minded, tbh. He fully considered going AWOL if it mean neither of you had to leave the bed)
but throughout the day he’s more concerned about getting his hands on some part of you whenever the two of you had been apart- 
even if it was for like five minutes. 
Nothing over the top- holding his arm up and out so you can step into his side, a press of his lips to your temple. 
Idk guys i just feel like he’d just love you so much that everyone would be able to see, which they do and they all think it’s fucking cute
Buck: 
He doesn’t always call out when he sees you, mostly because your eyes always seem to find his. 
The two of you could be across a field from one another with a thousand angry Germans between you, guns blazing, and the two of you would always spot each other like two honing beacons. 
If its downtime and you guys don’t have to be on your guard he’ll ABSOLUTELY wolf whistle in at you, 
You’ll see a stupid grin lighting up his face as he nods in your direction. 
“Take a look, boys. I think we’ve got ourselves a…” 
and he always waits until you’re close enough that he can wrap a quick arm around your waist and pat your hip. 
“Certified babe-asaurus!” 
(in a foxhole somewhere, a wild Babe’s head pokes up in confusion). 
You groan and boo him, and whoever he was with inevitably ends up booing him too.
But he doesn’t care because seeing you smile makes him so happy you guys.
Lipton: 
If you’re in public, he will quietly step up beside you and place his hand gently between your shoulder blades.
He’s not super into PDA, which you didn’t mind because what he didn’t show in physical touch he more than made up for in open admiration. 
He is in awe of you 
sometimes he worries you forget how highly he thinks of you, how highly everybody thinks of you 
(you don’t forget, but he’s just one of those people who will get intrusive thoughts like that and sometimes has a hard time shaking them so plz just let him say it ok?)
so he always whispers some praise with his greeting 
(Hey, beautiful...Doin’ okay, love?...What’re you thinking, brilliant girl?). 
It’d probably seem like overkill if anyone else did it but Carwood is just so goddamn sincere that you can’t help but duck a quick kiss to his shoulder. 
HOWEVER! 
If you two kids are alone….
OH BOI. 
He is handsy, coming up and caging you with his arms, 
probably pulling you close quickly so you lose your balance and he can hold you a lil bit.
(He likes to sweep you off your feet im so sorry)
 That’s when his praises are hushed and sighed between long slow kisses. 
Nixon: 
Like Liebgott, he’s a snarky motherfucker who will get the most self-satisfied grin on his face the moment he sees you, instantly turning on the famous Lewis Nixon charm ( something he’d long since decided belonged to you and you alone.)
“Uh oh,” he’d say, looking you up and down before raising an eyebrow.
(bc your hot but also he doesn’t want to get all flirty if you’re hurt or sick or something’s up bc ur not just something to flirt with- YOU ARE A BADASS WITH BADASS RESPONSIBILITIES AND THAT WAS SOMETHING HE very often and sometimes FOUND SO HOT THAT IT MADE HIM THINK HE MAY HAVE AN AUTHORITY FETISH this has been a PSA) 
“Here comes trouble.”
you roll your eyes, the behavior you once found cocky and arrogant having becoming endearing somewhere between Toccoa and England. 
He has absolutely no qualms about PDA (verbal or physical), so it’s up to you to reign him in 
(especially if he’s a lil tipsy, poor Luz didn’t need to hear Lewis’s sloppy and shameless plea for you to let him eat you out on top of piano he’d found in the attic of the billet he’d been assigned. You weren’t able to look at George for a week without wanting to die of embarrassment and Lewis Nixon didn’t get any for two weeks. He was sure to never make such a mistake ever again) 
And Dick had probably grown blind to how Lewis liked to pull you his lap and run his hands up and down your thighs while you played with his hair. 
Also, like Lipton, he probably saves the more explicit acts of PDA for when the company has scheduled downtime 
(but only bc you told him he needed to keep it in his pants any other time he tried to get cute with you)
but you can bet your ass his hand will always try to tap it (your ass, that is.)at least once
a day when he isn’t supposed to.
That’s when you get to punish him whoopsies
Dick: 
since the day you were introduced to Dick in Georgia, the boy always made sure to stand when you entered a room and will call you “ma’am”,
(you know, LIKE HE DOES ONLY BECAUSE HE HAS TO FOR SOBEL BC RANKS. I feel like he has a “we salute the woman, not the rank” speech queued up for anyone who tried to give him shit for it BUT THAT’s JUST ME)
but he has a knowing look in his eye that makes the term ‘ma’am’ feel anything but impersonal.
It confused the shit out of replacements, who would automatically stand because their superior officer (that would be Big Dick Winters) did- only to see you standing there in your fatigues with a coffee in each hand with a look of mutual confusion on your face. 
(bc while they like you, but they’re confused still bc while you’re a boss ass bitch,  you didn’t outrank him...or at least they theink you dont?) 
Babe had been the one to ask you about the longing looks and lingering glances, and when you didn’t know how to answer him you’d gone to Nixon, 
He’d burst into tearful laughter and was unable to get it together enough to explain anything.
Dick had been the one to bring it up the next time they were alone, weirdly enough, as she proofread his report for errors that didn’t exist. 
Because you warrant it, he’d said when pressed for a reason why he greeted her like a ranking officer, looking down at his boots as they both blushed like teenagers at a school dance. 
After that, he still stood wherever you walked in
but now he made a point to brush his fingers against yours at some point during the time you were together. 
He’s the definition of a slow burn friends-to-lovers story, and boi can get spicy LEMME TELL YOU.
(this is my first writing thing ever plz let a sister know if there are any glaring typos. Also i’m roughly 97 years late to fandom but I brought y’all some starbucks so plz let me in thank you)
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cityofimagines · 4 years
Text
My Angel – JJ Maybank x Reader
Summary: your relationship with JJ is still relatively new, but that doesn’t stop you from showing just how much your care about him after his has an episode with his dad.
A/N: this popped into my brain randomly because im in love with fluffy jj, and jj in general. i literally just wanna give him the biggest hug in the world 🥺 this is also my first real obx imagine so lmk what you guys think!! 
warnings: mentions of abuse
word count: 1841
It was currently a perfect day in the Outer Banks. 86 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, on your way to meet your friends on the dock. You finally found a time when everyone was off work simultaneously for the first time this week. John B’s boat was practically rotting from not being used in five days.
You fast walked down the hill to get to the meeting spot. As you got closer, you noticed most of the pogues plus Sarah Cameron, the newest addition to the group thanks to John B, all chatting.
“Hey guys!” You exclaimed as you neared them at the end of the dock.
“Hey (y/n)!” Kie smiled and ran up to give you a short hug.
“What’s up (y/n)?” John B asked, giving you a nod.
You shook your head. “Not much. Just excited to finally see you guys!” Which earned smiles from the rest of the group. Everyone was clad in swimsuits, t shirts, and flip flops, signaling that they were more than ready to get this day going. But before you could, you noticed something major was off. “Where’s JJ?” You asked looking around for your boyfriend.
“We were gonna ask you the same question.” Pope said.
“That’s so weird. We texted earlier and he was obviously down to come...I assumed he’d be the first one here.” You continued.
“Who knows maybe he’s just running a little late. It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.” Kie smiled and put a hand to your arm. “We can wait a few more minutes.”
You had been friends with all of the pogues for about two years now, pretty much since the week you moved here. However, you and JJ had only been dating for less than a month, so this relationship was still fairly new. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was having doubts about you or your relationship. After that thought passed you wondered if something bad happened to him. JJ is known for having not the cleanest record, much to your dismay, so you couldn’t help but think he was in trouble. As more time passed, the more negative overthinking you did.
You checked your phone for any sign of him, but the only notifications present were from Apple telling you to update your software for the millionth time. The rest of the group had descended into a random conversation, but finally after 10 minutes of waiting for him you decided to speak up.
“Hey guys? I think I might go look for him…” You trailed off, looking in the other direction towards the rest of the island.
“It is pretty weird...JJ isn’t one to miss out on days like these.” John B added. “You want us to come with you?”
You smiled at his offer, but declined. “No it’s fine honestly. You guys go have fun. Don’t let me ruin your day.”
“You could never.” Kie said. “You’re sure?”
You nodded. “I promise it’s okay. I’m just scared something happened. I’m gonna go look for him and maybe we’ll meet up with you guys later if we can.”
Since your relationship with JJ was still so new, you were still learning how to manage spending time with him alone and spending time with the rest of your friends. You felt bad for leaving them because you hadn’t hung out all week, but something was pulling you towards JJ in that moment.
“Sounds good.” Kie finished. “Good luck and hopefully we’ll see you later!”
“Thanks guys.” You smiled one last time before turning to walk back towards where you came from. Your car was parked in a lot close by, so it didn’t take long for you to get in there and gather your thoughts. Where could JJ be? He couldn’t be at work, because he’s been working with Pope and his dad lately, so obviously if Pope was at the dock JJ would be too. The only other place he could be would be...his house?
The second that thought dawned on you, your face sank. His house.
JJ opened up about his home life to you pretty quickly into your relationship. You had known each other for so long before that he felt like he could trust you explicitly. He told you all about how his mom left when he was young, and how his dad is a disgusting physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic. This revelation led to a few tears and more than a few sleepovers at your house.
You backed out of the lot and sped down the streets as fast as you possibly could without it being able to technically count as speeding. Your heart was now pounding at the thought that something bad must have happened today involving his dad.
After a too fast car ride you came up on his street. You parked across the street in front of his house, not even daring to go near the driveway because who knows what his dad would do. You weren’t even completely sure his dad knew you existed.
You felt crazy walking around to the back door dressed in a bikini with nothing but an oversized t-shirt covering you, a messy bun sitting on top of your head, sunglasses behind your ears, and cheap flip flops.
Once you got up to the door, your hand hovered in front of it in a knocking position. Suddenly you were terrified. What if JJ wasn’t even here? What if you were just being a stupid worried clingy girlfriend? What if his dad answered? What would you even do in that situation?
A crazy thought came over you and you decided to forego knocking and reach out for the doorknob instead. You turned it quietly and the door clicked open. You closed it behind you and took a look inside at the house you had only seen a couple times before. Beer bottles lined every open surface. Clothes and dishes were strewn everywhere, medicine bottles sat on the kitchen counters. You bit your lip to keep from tearing up at the sight. The fact that this was the only place the boy who had your heart had to call home broke you.
You walked into the living room and jumped a mile when you saw an adult figure on the couch. Luke Maybank, luckily asleep. Still no sign of JJ.
You walked deeper in the house, down the hall to where you knew JJ’s room was. The door was cracked slightly, and you held your ear up to it. Your heart broke even more when the sound of crying filled your ears. You opened the door and it creaked, causing your boyfriend’s head to snap up in your direction.
“JJ…” You began.
“(Y/N)? What the hell are you doing here-” He said, cutting you off.
No words came out of your mouth for a minute as you took in the sight. He was hunched over sitting on his bed, clutching his side. His shaggy blonde hair looked more oily than normal most likely due to his hands running through it excessively. He had a black eye and a split lip, with random patches of dried blood around his mouth. You had heard about his dad’s horrible parenting, but nothing could have prepared you from seeing its effects in real life for the first time.
Finally you came to your senses. “I was looking for you.” You started. “We were all waiting for you on the dock and when you didn’t show up I just had a feeling something was wrong…God JJ why the fuck didn’t you call me? I would’ve come as soon as I cou-”
“Shh baby. It’s okay. I’m okay.” He said. “C’mere.”
You couldn’t help the tears that welled up in your eyes as you took all of three steps towards him. He wrapped his arms around your torso and pulled you in. Your head rested on his.
“It’s not okay!” You cried out, his hair muffling your voice. He shushed you and started rubbing your back.
“I’m fine sweetheart. You shouldn’t even be here anyways-”
“Will you shut up?” You said, the question coming out harsher than you meant. You quickly pulled away and looked down at him. “Shit- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...I’m just fucking frustrated that you have to go through this. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”
JJ reached up to wipe the tear that had fallen onto your cheek. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. I promise I’m fine. Go back out with everyone. I’ll catch up later.” He said.
“No.” You shook your head. “We’re going to my house. I’m fixing you up.”
“(y/n)...”
“Either you come with me or I’ll help you here.” You gave him an ultimatum.
He sighed and his head fell forwards on your stomach. He was still sitting on his bed and you stood in between his legs. You grabbed his hand in yours. “Please baby. Let me take care of you.”
“Okay. Your house it is.” You helped him up and walked him out to your car. You even helped him into the passenger seat, much to his dismay. Seeing him like this had you seething inside, you couldn’t help but want to love on him with everything you had.
A short drive to your house later, you walked inside and told him to sit down on the couch. Your parents were both at work and you assumed your older sister was with her own friends. You ran to the bathroom to get bandaids, rubbing alcohol, and an ice pack for his eye.
You sat down with everything and began tending to his cuts. You felt like crying again, but reminded yourself to be strong for him.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked after a few moments of silence.
He shook his head. “There’s nothing to talk about. He’s just an asshole.”
“I wish I could do something more to stop it.”
“You do enough. I don’t deserve you.” He said quietly.
“Stop it. If anything I don’t deserve you.” You replied. You took the ice pack off his face for a minute to look into his eyes fully. “You’re the best part of my life JJ Maybank. When you’re hurting so am I.”
He leaned down to kiss your forehead. “My angel.”
You wrapped your arms around his torso delicately so as to not hurt him. You weren’t sure if words could adequately describe what you were feeling regarding JJ, so you just sat in his embrace. He wrapped his arms around you after a few moments. 
“I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I hate making you upset.”
“Not your fault.” You whispered into his shirt. “I would do anything for you. You know that.” 
He pushed your head up to his and planted a passionate kiss to your lips. He pulled away and rested his forehead to yours. You ran a gentle hand up and down his side, feeling him get chills as you traced the muscles that hid underneath his soft skin.
“You wanna sleep?” You asked.
“Honestly...yeah.” He said quietly.
You patted his legs twice signaling for him to stand up. You switched positions so you were sitting behind him.
Once he got comfortable in your lap, you started running your hands through his hair and on his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed.
“I got you sunshine. You’re safe with me.”
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jubberry · 3 years
Note
oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.
thanks el i love you
Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.
fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol
1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.
so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.
Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.
2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool 😭
Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.
Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.
I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.
I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).
I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.
Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!
3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!
horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:
1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.
2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.
I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol
3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol
alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.
1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.
2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).
In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).
Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.
3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.
Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).
The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).
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batarella · 4 years
Text
I Don’t Hate You - Part 5 (Jason Todd x Reader)
will i ever find true love? with standards like this? will i ever find someone who’ll quench my thirst like jaybaby does?
nah.
(If you haven’t already noticed, since the reader is inspired by Jade West, ALL the songs in her singing scenes come from the covers by the iconic Liz Gillies! This one’s scene is inspired by Liz’s live story right here)
WORD: 6908 WARNINGS: EVEN MORE FLUFF BWAHAHAHAHA
Masterlist
I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST
-----
Jason: ‘don’t do it.’
Jerry the science teacher was starting to catch on to him with Jason’s eyes darting to his crotch for no reason and his hand under the desk, but Jason managed to fool him by pulling out his notebook right where his phone was and pretended to take notes with his free hand. It was getting harder to hide it though, especially when he’d crack into a wide grin in the middle of a boring discussion all of a sudden. He looked like an idiot.
Y/N: ‘I’ll fucking do it.’
Jason: ‘she’ss a teaacher.’
Y/N: ‘that hasn’t stopped me before.’
Jason was writing scribbles onto his notebook at that point, lingering his eyes on the teacher for as long as he could while his other hand blindly texted barely readable typos. How were you able to text so well?
You sent another text before he could respond. ‘I’m totally doing it.’
Jason: ‘I’m sure she wasd looookin behind yuu’
Y/N: ‘no. she was definitely looking at me. Who else would she look at when she’s talking about baby murderers.’
Jason: ‘oh.’
Jason really wanted to laugh now. He double texted.
Jason: ‘I get it now.’
Y/N: ‘im not a fucking serial killer.’
Three dots floating in a bubble followed after.
Y/N: ‘yet.’
Jason kept his eyes on the board. Thankfully, this was chemistry. Bruce taught him more about that subject than Jerry ever will. He didn’t need to listen.
Y/N: ‘it’s just her divorce.’
Jason: ‘you have got to stop asking facultyyyt memberd how their divorce is going.’
Y/N: ‘why not’
Jerry definitely caught him by now. His glances at him included unbothered shakings of his head and flattened lips. But he didn’t say anything and went on with the discussion. He probably didn’t bother. Jason would end up with the highest test score no matter what he was doing in his desk. And the man had large bags under his eyes that screamed ‘I really don’t give a fuck about any of you’ to his students.
Jason: ‘you’re worse than a serial killer.’
You: ‘Im no Amelia Dyer.’
Jason: ‘remind me to look her up.’
You: ‘she killed 400 babies and had a infant farm for 20 years before she got caught.’
Jason: ‘sounds like something you’d do’
Y/N: ‘I don’t kill babies. I just scare them.’
Jason: ‘that’s the first step right there.’
You sent a middle finger and it made him silently cackle. Somehow, your sense of humor through came off a lot less dark, maybe because you didn’t sound like you were serious, when in actuality, you probably were. It didn’t matter though. He was smiling like a crazy person in the middle of a discussion about balancing equations.
Jason placed his phone back into his pocket and waited for the bell to ring so he could go meet you at the library for the fifth week since you started. You were halfway through your sentence. He never thought he’d get there. Somehow, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to the end of it as he thought he would.
Just yesterday, he told himself it was wrong to enjoy watching you scream at the stoners hiding behind the encyclopedia sections knowing no one would go in there at all. You were, quite literally, kicking them out of the library while Ms. Peterson backed you up like a shrieking duo. One of them cried while you charged at him, looking like you were about to tear his hair out and you threatening to stick his blunt up his earhole.
It went from something so obnoxious to something so amusing to watch. Perhaps the wrong was in him.
Jason listened to the teacher for the last ten minutes of the class, then the bell rung and everyone started for the exit. He picked up his bag, then took out his phone to tell you he was on his way.
“Texting in class now, Todd?”
He wanted to throw his bag, or anything he had on his hands really, to that source of that voice. Brandon. Fucking Brandon. With his still throbbing new nose and football varsity jacket over his shoulders that made him look even more loathsome than he already does. He came up to Jason and stood him off.
“Every single day for the past week, you text in class.” Brandon brought his leg up to rest on a chair beside Jason. “What? You think you’re so much smarter than everyone now?”
“I’m smarter than you, that’s for sure. But that’s not really much to brag about.”
“I can tell on you, you know. How’d your GPA like that?”
“Didn’t know you were a dirty snitch, Brandon.”
“Who you texting?” he raised his arms up to intimidate him. “That psycho bitch you hang out with all the time?”
Bruce told him to keep his rage in check even more so in class than he barely does in patrols, but at that moment, in a dizzying blur, Jason skillfully pushed Brandon against the wall and pulled his fist behind him without much care for the onlooking crowd.
“Want a new nose again, jackass?”
“Fuck you-“
“ALRIGHT, ENOUGH. STEP AWAY FROM HIS NOSE.”
Jerry. Poor Jerry. The tired teacher grabbed onto Jason’s shoulder and pulled him away from the linebacker. Jason backed down, lowering his arm, then kept his glare on him while he puffed up his jacket.
“Both of you. Get out of here. Todd, you don’t want me to send you to the VP’s office again before I call your father. Everyone walk away. Yes, everyone. Walk on. Get on with your business.”
He kept his head craned down while Jerry screamed at anyone sparing him a look. Jason shoved his bag over his back and stormed out of the room. Slamming the door, he walked to the library and found an empty table waiting for him with a cart full of books at the side. Ms. Peterson had her hand on her hip, snarling at him when he took the seat. “Get to these by today, boy.”
He ignored her and sat down, leaning forward to take yet another nap with his arms folded under his head.
All it takes is one triggering moment. One thug to taunt him. One word from the Joker. One lecture from Bruce. One threat to his humanity. And now his head’s all boiled up and all he wanted to do was block out the rest of the world and take a nap. And even then, he knew he wouldn’t wake up feeling any better.
“Jason,” Bruce told him a five weeks ago, the first day of his library sentence. “Anything going on in school you should tell me about?”
“Nothing. What makes you think that?”
“You caused trouble,” he said. “You picked a fight.”
“I’m fine. I’m not letting it affect my grades.”
“This isn’t about your grades. You can't let your business from the field affect you and hurt innocent people.”
“I’m not-“
“The next time the principal calls me with you starting another fight-“
“You’ll what? Take away my phone privileges?”
“I’m taking away your suit.”
He stormed out of that room before he could say anything more. Bruce never brought it up again, but Jason knew he was going to keep his word no matter what.
Jason didn’t even notice when you took the seat across of him with that prolonged, annoyed grunt that most often came with an eye roll. You placed your bag to your side and poked at his arm.
“Ey. You gotta help me with this.”
He didn’t look up when you pulled out your notes and your textbook. “WAKE UP.”
You repeatedly patted his shoulder until he let out a large enough grunt to make him crane his head up, eye squinting at you and his black hair covering his eyes. He really needed a haircut.
“What do you want now?”
“You weren’t this grumpy this morning.” You smirked. “I have to make a lit paper.”
“Why can't you do it yourself?”
“’Cuz you're the expert here. And I need that A.”
He buried his face back into his arms. “I’m not in the mood, Y/N.”
“Come on,” you said. Your voice prolonged the last syllable and you started to sound more annoying. “Don’t be a baby.”
“Just do it and ask me questions or some shit.”
“But I need your help-“
“And by the end of this, we’re at each other’s throats. I really don’t have the time for that now.”
You backed up, scoffing. “’Cuz you have something so much better to do?”
“Yeah,” he snarled. “Like taking a nap.”
He didn’t even glance at you taken aback and ignored you cursing under your breath. “Fine. Eat a dick, asshole.”
You took your stuff and drowned them into your bag, shuffling out of the table. A girl came up to you with a voice lower than a whistle. “Uhm, excuse me-“
“NO!” you screeched, then headed for the next table before she could ask anything more. The poor girl was trembling on her knees by the time you found an empty seat and pour out everything in your bag. His head was a mess, and the silence was the first step to actually making him clear his grime-covered mind. Jason kept shutting his eyes closed and focused on the blunt colors that appeared before his eyes in the shape of spirals.
For half an hour, he kept at his nap, falling asleep for a good ten minutes before he awoke to the sound of your screaming at a guy too stupid to ask you if the seat next to you was free while you were fumbling with your assignment. Jason groaned into his arm, feeling his head swell and ache and already knowing Bruce was waiting for him at home with yet another long, agonizing lecture on picking fights he never wanted in the first place. His eyes started to hurt from the force he used to shut them close, and everything in his mind was as hot as fire.
Leaning back against the chair, he knew this was going to bite him in the ass, sooner or later.
And one of the very very very few reasons he got to smile or even laugh all day was now violently taking notes while reading a book with the most fed up, furious expression on her face. He pulled out his bag, taking a water bottle and finishing its contents down his throat before he shot up and pushed his chair back.
Jason stood in front of your desk, his hand on the back of the chair across of you and waited for you to take notice of him. Your glare was terrifying. And it actually made him want to step back for once. But he stood his ground and sighed. “Can I help?”
“Get out of here.”
“I can help you.”
“I don’t need an asswipe telling me off.”
He took the chair despite you and you stared at your notebook, still with your eyebrows arched way up.
“Sorry.”
You ignored him and kept with your notes. He peered over, his elbows on the table, and you practically hissed at him when he got too close. Raising his hands up to surrender, he snarled at him before you continued your work.
“How many of reports have you done so far?”
You didn’t look like you were going to respond, and you kept writing like he wasn’t there in front of you at all. Jason couldn’t help but smile seeing you so angry and focused, knowing you were trying your best to block him out and failing miserably when he could see your eyebrow twitch and your eyes darting at him every few seconds.
Squirming his hand to you, his finger tugged on your gray sweater and scratched you like you had an itch. You pursed your lips and pulled your fist out so you looked like you were about to punch him, but he playfully held your hand and backed off. That was when he was fully smiling by now. He could block out all other thoughts easily when it was so fun to bug you.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and you finally looked up to his eyes. “Come on. Let me help.”
You licked the outside of your teeth and let out a long sigh that came with your usual grunt. Knowing you’d hate and love it at the same time, he ruffled your hair and you charged at him, almost stabbing him with your pen.
You finally managed to smile, then you gave in and handed him your notebook.
“The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe,” you said. “What do you think?”
He leaned over the table, glancing at you, then taking the time to read your notes on what you understood from the passage. “This is good.”
“I’ve read the whole book like ten times by now.”
That made his chest feel just a bit warmer. “Really?”
“Yeah,” you took out the collection book he gave you. “Ms. Peterson has no idea. I’m supposed to have four weeks-worth of penalties because of this.”
Knowing he gave you something, and you happened to like it so much that you wanted it to be your report for literature class, and with you writing a decent paper about it, with you reading it over and over, it instantly became one of the things he won't easily forget.
He never grinned so much in a while, probably since a week ago in the gym. Jason watched you take back your notebook, continuing to write as he gazed too long at your parted lips. Feeling his flesh burn, he looked away.
“I won't bite you if you change anything, you know.” you said, your eyes keeping on your notes. “Go nuts.”
You tore off the page and handed it over to Jason, then you gave him a pen. Smiling at you, he took it, then started to circling words he thought you should change and other ideas he had of his own. A moment of silence, you didn’t scream anything at him when you he gave you the corrections. You graciously nodded, then started rewriting them onto a separate page. Your hair was falling to your cheeks, and it touched your skin so delicately and soft. Pretty.
So pretty.
He was gawking. He was so gawking. You’ll never let him hear the end of it. He shook his head and pretended he wasn’t just resting his chin on his hand like a teenage girl.
The thought of you reading Poe’s works still hadn’t left his mind. It wasn’t even a complete collection. There were so many more stories out there, most just on the internet. Maybe tonight, he could send some to you and you might enjoy them, too.
Or, maybe not. Patrol. Bruce has been telling him not to text so much while he was out supposedly beating criminals. But he couldn’t help it.
There was just something about making you happy, or even just smile or let out a bit of a laugh that made him feel a whip of a breezy rush. You were often sad when you were alone, and whatever you felt at school, it was so much worse at home. Everyday, you told him bits more of how it was like with your parents.
He saw so much of himself in you. You were eerily similar. Too similar. The hidden rage, the angst kept within. Maybe that was why he liked making you laugh so much.
“So what story did you like most?”
You grinned. “I’m not entirely sure. The Black Cat’s definitely up there. I don’t know. I really like all of them.”
“I’ve read that. The Black Cat,” he said, leaning back. “What makes you like it so much?”
“I like the idea of a cat being the whole reason his life goes downhill, kills his wife, and eventually gets caught. Like his whole life was being dictated by his pet.”
“That’s dark.”
“I know,” you smirked. “That’s why I like it so much.”
He had his arms crossed over on the table to cover his chest. “You becoming a serial killer seems more possible now.”
“Fuck you,” you said, sticking your tongue out.  
It was almost 4:30. He didn’t even notice the clock. You and Jason had the most civil conversation, not an insult or a mean comment on anything other than a playful back and forth. You closed your notes, then your book, then you stretched out your arms.
“Ms. Peterson’s gonna be pissed. We haven’t done any work today at all.”
“Just put the cart behind that shelf over there. We’ll take care of it tomorrow.”
He laughed, and you went with him as he stood up and did exactly so. “I can take you home today. But we have to leave now. Bruce wants me to go with him on this… thing.”
“Nah.” You pulled on your sweater as you headed out the door. “I’ll stay behind. Dad’s usually awake at this time. He won't be asleep until like, an hour from now.”
Jason respectfully understood, and you watched him as he walked out through the halls, turning at the corner.
He pulled out his phone. There was a text from Bruce.
‘You coming tonight?’
He didn’t bother to respond when he was already on his way home. Yesterday, Penguin and Two Face both had their own bank robberies at opposite ends of town. He repeatedly told Bruce he could handle Cobblepot on his own, but he refused and demanded he go with him while they take them out one by one.
Jason was reluctant of course, and it wasn’t like he had a choice. But he did a great job at finishing off Two Face’s crew that it didn’t take long for them to go all the way to the other bank and catch Penguin before they even got to half the bank’s vaults. Bruce told him he had the option to go with him to patrol tonight or not, but if he were, he had to come home early and not laze around in school like he often did.
Tonight, he chose to go to patrol. He thought he needed an outlet and imagine Brandon’s face on the heads of drug dealers. The thought alone made him grin.
Jason walked out the exit and reached for his keys.
Except he totally forgot he wasn’t even wearing his bag until he’d walked to his motorcycle. Groaning as he walked back into the school’s entrance, he sprinted for the library, catching the door open just as Ms. Peterson was about to walk out with a deathly glare on her face at him. Jason ran for his bag, took it, then gave Ms. P a fun little hug before walking back out.
He took out his phone, expecting a text from you, but there was nothing. So he asked you where you were before heading back out.
Out into the now empty halls, Jason walked pass the lockers, the dark classrooms, the one bright light at the center, he kept his hands in his pockets and sighed.
Piano keys.
Piano keys?
Playing. Simple chords played out but had a familiar tune he couldn’t get out from the back of his mind.
And singing.
A voice he’s only heard so often, yet he could pick out from a million others.
The music room was one he didn’t go in too often, but the sound came from there. The door wasn’t closed, and slowly, he peered it open.
A beam so little from the window, yet he could see how your back was so straight up, how your lean fingers rested gracefully onto the keys, playing the chords in perfectly strewn out notes that he could just tell you’ve been at this for quite some time. From an angle slightly to the left, you couldn’t see him, but he could see a bit of your face, the side of it, how your eyelids looked closed looking down at your own fingers.
Then you sang.
 I've seen the world, done it all
Had my cake now
Diamonds, brilliant, in Bel-Air now
Hot summer nights, mid July
When you and I were forever wild
The crazy days, city lights
The way you'd play with me like a child
Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I've got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
 You…
You…
Yeah.
You were beautiful.
So beautiful…
 Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
 You just… kept going.
And there was nothing, not ever, in the entire length of his existence, of his years at the streets, of his few years as Robin, of his time at either a ratty apartment or a manor, of all the people he’s met, of any song that he’s heard.
Nothing. Nothing compared to your voice. Nothing compared to you.
 Hot summer days, rock and roll
The way you play for me at your show
And all the ways, I got to know
Your pretty face and electric soul
 Breathy, low, and everything he’s kept to remember. His chest never felt so light, yet his heart was beating out of his ribcage. His bag was almost dropped down his shoulder, his mouth was parted, his face deeply flushed. Even when you played the wrong note, cursed, then went on just as perfectly as you ever could, he couldn’t tear his eyes off of you.
His eyes were so relaxed on you, and nothing, not even his trembling shoulders could make him look away.
You reached the higher notes with a perfect falsetto, then your voice echoed out even with the room as small as a stuffy classroom. His eyebrows were up to his forehead and he didn’t know if he was still breathing, when he was standing so still, frozen like a block of ice.
You had so much deepness and soul, and you were often whispering the words, but then your voice would go up in a perfect blend.
Perfect. That was all he could think of. Perfect.
His bag was on the floor now, the only thing keeping it up was a single finger.
Lana Del Ray. You sung it better than her. In his most humble, honest, totally not biased opinion. Shit, he even felt like he wanted to cry. His chest was heaving and his face never burned up so much, at almost the end of the song, he finally had it in him to move from his place and throw himself back against a wall.
Breathe. Fucking breathe.
 Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful?
 That last note, you breathed it out so nicely, it went straight into his soul, biting his lip, then closing his eyes.
He smiled like the biggest fucking idiot for the nth time that very day.
Jason looked like a fourteen year old girl cooing over a boyband. He laid his head against the wall, staring at the ceiling, hearing you sing vocal runs and pressing randomly at the piano. And he couldn’t stop showing his teeth, his face was hurting like a bitch, but fuck.
FUCK.
He’s never felt anything like this. Like his head was lighter than the air around him, lighter than the softness of your falsetto. He was still catching his breath and grinning above him, then at the ground, then back at the wall. It wasn’t on what he stared at. Your voice ringing in his ears, like angels were flying around playing their little harps over his head, like the sun was shining so brightly against him that he couldn’t see even a smidge of darkness anywhere in the world. How your face scrunched up, how your eyebrows raised, how you’d close your eyes and feel the song as it flew out your lips.
He rubbed on his chin and mouth to ease his aching muscles. Jason kept with his breathing, the fluttering in his chest. Everything. Everything.
Jason needed to wash his face with ice cold water at this point, gathering enough courage, he looked back into the room.
You were staring back at him.
-----
You didn’t look mad.
Though you definitely, most probably should.
You didn’t even notice he was there until the end of the song when he hit the wall with his back. Idiot must’ve thought you wouldn’t hear him.
But you weren’t mad. Not at all. Not from the way he was looking at you. Not when he was staring at you in a way no one ever had in your whole life. Not when you could see how his lips were parted and how his chest was visibly rising and how cute his face was all embarrassed and shit.
You could only smile.
Standing from the piano and grabbing your bag, you walked over to him. Jason gulped down and backed up against the wall with you standing right in front of him.
And after five weeks of knowing him,
Jason Todd finally looked like he was scared shitless of you.
But you didn’t want him to be scared of you. Not anymore. It just doesn’t seem like something you wanted anymore.
“You heard all that, huh?”
Jason was an absolute mess. He cleared his throat three times and hesitantly nodded, keeping his head to the ground.
“I-I’m uh,” he mumbled. “Sorry.”
You shook your head. “Don’t be.”
He didn’t look like he had another answer. Jason scratched the back of his head. “Uhm-“
“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
You walked first, but looked back to see if he followed. Jason rushed to your side, making sure his blush wasn’t so evident even though it clearly was. You were better at hiding your own embarrassment, so you nudged his shoulder.
Jason laughed out loud and looked at you the same way he looked at the stars. You looked back at him the same way.
“You gonna take me home?”
He managed to form a sentence. “I thought you wanted to stay longer.”
You shrugged. “I guess I can take it.”
When you stepped out the gate, Jason walked you over to his bike and handed you his second helmet. Playfully, you hit the side of his and chuckled when you sat behind him, clutching onto his waist. You felt him tense, but he eventually relaxed and you leaned in to him.
You leaned your head on his back this time. You never did that before. Your clutch was tighter, your eyes closed. If it were anyone, it could pass for simply wanting to be more secure. But that day you just wanted to hold someone you actually didn’t mind being with before you’d get home and all this would end in an abrupt stop.
After a long while, you still couldn’t smell smoke emissions from cars or even hear the horns or bells or shouts from all the city folk near your apartment. Looking up then around you with the sun still shining brightly even at this time of day, you were in the countryside. Away from the city.
“WHERE ARE WE GOING?”
“YOU’LL SEE.”
You could smell cow dung, and the earthy scent of grass you should be more used to than you actually are. The road ahead of you was wide and long, and the air was so much lighter than it was at home. You closed your eyes, this time feeling the wind against your skin.
Jason was smiling through his helmet. Further down the road, you held onto him. “I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOMEWHERE TO GO TONIGHT.”
“I TEXTED BRUCE. I’M NOT GOING WITH HIM. JUST HOLD ON.”
You smiled and looked on when he made a turn into a forest with tall trees getting taller as you rode further down. There were no people around you. Not even houses. You leaned into his shoulder and rested your chin on top.
Jason started to slow down when you reached deeper into the trees, finally stopping his bike by the curb. The air was cold, and you wrapped your sweater tighter around your body after you’ve removed your helmet. “Where are we?”
“Come on.”
Jason walked towards the trees, where there was a little cement pathway now covered in weeds and grass growing out of its cracks. You had trouble making your way through, especially when your boots had a bit of a heel in them, then you walked to Jason’s side as it became clearer what you were there for.
An old, abandoned house. Something out of the dozens of horror movies you’ve saved in your laptop.
“Dude…”
“You like?”
It was small, but its picket fence and flaking white wooden walls just screamed fifties to you, with a triangular roof, two windows on the second level, a half-circle glass wall on the right side of the first floor, and a door so rickety and old, colored in an earthly brown that had mixed in with the debris and rot. Vines were all over its porch, and there was even a rocking chair sitting right outside by the entryway, also covered in vines. Outside of the house was an old pickup truck that had rusted beyond use, sinking into the ground like it was pulled by the earth.
“How’d you know I always wanted to go urban exploring?”
“I just figured.” Jason smiled. “Come on. We can go inside.”
“Are you sure?” you eagerly started for the door. “It won't break?”
“I’ve been here once. The stairs are broken so we can't go to the second floor. Just be careful.”
Pulling the unlocked door open, and Jason right behind you, you flashed him a smile before stepping inside.
It was seriously from the horror movies you’ve watched over and over. The first thing that greeted you was a nice little foyer, with a table in the middle and a vase that used to house flowers for sure. Then behind it was the broken staircase Jason mentioned. It was made entirely out of wood, and it had fallen in so bad that it was basically a wall by now. So much of the wood was on the ground, and there were lots of papers, books, clothes, and several others cluttering all around the floor. You had to walk all over them.
There were two entry ways at the sides of the foyer. One leading to the living room, and one to the dining room and kitchen. Everything further down had been blocked out by wooden planks and even more clutter. The living room was beautiful with the glass walls that formed a half circle and a petite grand piano standing in the middle. Its cover was up, and its keys had completely gone. There was still a bit of light coming in to the windows, which shone on the room so nicely, it was perfect.
The couches were completely ruined, and you wouldn’t dare sit on it. At the center of the room, though, which caught your eye the most, was a beautiful, broken chandelier that had fallen to the ground, which was why there was so much broken glass around the floor.
At the other side, the dining room was a bit more modest. A table seating six was still intact, but the chairs were either toppled over to the ground or broken in half. Even more clutter was on the table. Nearby was the kitchen, with an island in the middle, an old-fashioned fridge you probably wouldn’t want to go near to, and other kitchen supplies scattered around.
You both took out your phones and took pictures of the place. It was too good to witness.
“Jason…”
“I know,” he raised his arms up, putting his phone back into his pocket. “Amazing.”
You covered your mouth, then walked on over to the piano. You ran your hands over it, ignoring the mountains of dust that formed over your fingers. “I dare you to play it.”
“There’s barely any keys left.”
You watched him laugh, then you both walked around the chandelier. “Getting a bit of the Phantom of the Opera vibes in here.”
“Don’t touch it.”
“I wasn’t going to.” You eyed it carefully, then you looked up at the empty ceiling. It looked almost like it was going to fall in. Hopefully it wouldn’t.
“The family that used to live here, they left around fifty years ago. A mom, dad, and two twin girls. They both had tuberculosis and died in this very house. The parents just left it after they died. Never took anything along with them.”
“That’s terrifying. You think they’ve got a listing on this place?”
Jason chuckled. “The twins used to be theater stars. That’s why they’ve got a piano. To practice. And they built the whole place around it so the sounds would echo nicely.”
You finally got it. Shaking your head with a knowing smile, you turned to Jason. He had his hands stuck to his hoodie pockets, his head craned down, his hair falling to his eyes, and his smile all over the bottom half of his face.
“Is that why you took me here?”
“You have…” he gulped, never looking away from your eyes. “The most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard in my life…”
You had to look away. For your own sake. You were turning red so much, it was embarrassing. “Stop.”
“I’m serious. You never told me you sang.”
“It’s not exactly something I hid.  I’ve sung in school a couple of times. Like in middle school graduation.”
“So I’m basically the only one in school who hasn’t heard you sing?” He placed his hand on his chest. Then pretended to scoff.
“Why don’t you sing. Right here.”
“Todd. No.”
“Come on. We have the place for it.”
You looked up at the ceiling, which was high for a house so small. It probably went all the way up to the roof. “No way.”
Jason kept nudging you, but you wouldn’t give in. You couldn’t help your smile though. You and Jason walked over to the kitchen and just looked at all the things the family left behind. Even the toaster was untouched, and you’ve never seen an oven so old fashioned before, it still had that pastel green color on the parts that hadn’t been taken over by rust.
It was starting to get dark. But you never wanted to leave. “Thank you.”
You said it without looking directly at him, but he got it. Going back outside before everything would completely dim out, Jason walked over to the pickup truck and jumped on its back.
You didn’t have the agility to just jump on top of it without possibly pulling a muscle, so you just watched Jason sit on the edge of it and swung his legs in the air.  Standing beside him and leaning your back against the truck, you both watched the house as the sun started to set behind it. You could see the beams scatter just at the center of the roof where it angled down. The sky had grown from a brightly lit yellow to a dark orange.
-----
You and Jason were a recipe for trouble.
Was it because you were too similar? Harbored the same anger? The same hatred for a number of people you didn’t even know? Was it because you both stirred trouble when it wasn’t asked for?
It was a recipe for trouble because, according to the young adult romance novels and movies, Jason was supposed to be with a nice, sweet, innocent girl who’d bring out the good in him and was kind to everyone, have just enough of that spice in her that would draw attention but still be a sweetheart, and she’d be made of happiness and rainbows and would be what brightens up Jason’s darkness.
You were not that girl. You were the opposite. You had that same darkness as he did. You had so much anger, and instilled so much fear onto anyone you didn’t like. Maybe you were even darker. And if it were up to those same novels and movies, you were supposed to end up with basically the same type of person, someone who was bright and yellow and happy. Not Jay.
But with you both being so similar, so full of angst and dread and hate, in a world were opposites were supposed to belong together,
why does he bring so much light and hope?
How does someone just as unhappy as you are come along and make you laugh like the world was about to end?
How does someone just as full of pent up rage as you are come along, and make it all go away for a sweet, short moment?
How was it all possible? How could two people, two very similar people, fit into a puzzle that called for them to fill it what you didn’t have?
How could someone supposed to fuel the fire already inside you end up being the sun?
Jason never thought of that either. In fact, he thought he might end up with someone in his line of work. Another vigilante. Not a mean girl from school who terrorizes students with a pair of fucking scissors.
But, somehow, it all just made everything he was turn into what he was supposed to be. You could say the same.
With you in your little room and Jason in his significantly larger one in the manor, you both sank to the ground, backs against the wall, and you pulled out your phones.
You had left a message first.
Y/N: ‘Urban exploring should be more of a thing.’
Jason smiled.
Jason: ‘Nah. People would crowd those places and vandalize them.’
Y/N: ‘True. I’d want them all to myself anyway.’
Jason: ‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’
You felt your heart jump. God, this had to stop.
Y/N: ‘I did. Thank you.’
Jason: ‘Should I get used to you being nice to me now?’
Y/N: ‘Probably not.’
He laughed and shuffled his knees.
Y/N: ‘Send me the pictures you took.’
Scrolling through his albums, he selected everything he took that day and sent it all to you. Leaning on his back, looking up at the ceiling as he waiting, Jason imagined the look on your face when you first saw the house. Your eyes never shone so brightly.
You looked through the pictures and found several, about eight of them, centered on nothing else but you smiling at the ceiling, at the piano, at the chandelier, at the tables.
Y/N: ‘Dude. Why this angle of me?’
Confused, Jason looked through the pictures.
And he cursed out loud, over and over, burying his head in his hands when he saw he’d accidentally sent eight pictures he’d secretly taken of you. Fuck it all. This is how he dies. This is the death of Jason Todd.
You were smiling out of your face, and instead of saying anything mean or the thousands of jokes that instantly came up to the front of your mind, you did the same and sent him pictures you took.
And Jason’s heart rose up from where it sank to the floor when he saw you’d taken just as many pictures of him, doing the same things as you did and some with him holding his phone up. One was just his face.
He was a fucking grinning mess by then.
Jason: ‘Don’t I look good.’
Yeah, you cooed. You certainly do. But you didn’t say that to him. You just went along with him and he changed the subject.
Jason: ‘Huge favor.’
Y/N: ‘Shoot.’
Jason: ‘Send me a voice message of you singing.’
Y/N: ‘Absolutely not.’
Jason: ‘Please.’
Y/N: ‘No.’
Jason: ‘I’ll do your library work for three days.’
Y/N: ‘not even if you beg, Todd.’
Jason: ‘I keep my promises, just so you know.’
Y/N: ‘Still no.’
Jason: ‘Sing in the library tomorrow then.’
Y/N: ‘Ms. P will throw me out the fucking window.’
Jason: ‘Yeah, she probably will.’
Y/N: ‘Do my shelving work for three weeks. Then I’ll send you a five second audio message of me humming.’
Jason: ‘Make it a minute of a song of MY choice. Then I’ll do it for a week.’
Y/N: ‘not a chance.’
Jason: ‘what do I have to do then.’
Nothing. You gripped your phone to your chest. I’d sing for you if it makes you smile any day.
Y/N: ’Two weeks. I get to ride on the cart while you shelf my books.’
Jason: ‘Deal.’
You threw your head back, then you made a two second audio message of you screaming “NICE TRY, TODD.”
Jason: ‘Mother fucker.’
Y/N: ‘HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.’
4 am. You slept at 4 am that night. And only because your eyes couldn’t take it and Jason was drooling on his bed after doing exercises to stay up and talk to you.
He had it bad.
Really bad.
And, not surprisingly, so did you.
----
I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST
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Taglist: everyartistwas-firstanamateur  @sarcasmismyfirstlove @damned-queen-of-gotham @idkmanicantenglish @wunderstell @birdy-bat-riya @get-loki@everyday-imfangirling @comic-nerd-dc @multifandoms916 @icequeen208@offendedfishnoises @egdolan @xemiefx @arkhamtoddler @elsenthal@mythicbitchx @supremehaunter @ burning-alive  @lucy-roo  roseangel013bf @ loxbbg  reclusive-chicken-nuggethttp-cherries shadowsndaisies river9noble
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brelione · 4 years
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Three Rules (JJ Maybank X Reader)
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Warnings:Smut,Angst,JJ low key getting his heart broken,ends in fluff because sad JJ makes me sad.Not really edited because im lazy :)
JJ sat on a rock far away from the large group of people as they danced to loud,shitty music.He had been hoping that you would show up.It had been a month since he had seen you last.It had been a month since he had ruined everything you two had.Or, in better words,what he thought you had.He knew how much you loved boneyard parties because you loved people watching.You had always sat on this rock to sort everyone into groups in your head.He hadnt noticed that until you had gone to at least eight parties.You’d always disappear but he figured you were talking to someone in the ocean of people or had just gone back to the house.He had come over to you with his red solo cup in his hand to ask what you were doing.That’s when he learned about your hobby.You had pointed people out to him and asked him who in the crowd he would want to switch lives with for the day.He had just pointed to a random guy to satisfy you.That had been the night that your little ‘relationship’ had started.That had been almost a year ago.He watched as you walked down the sandy hill.Your hair was half up half down,you were wearing tight white jeans and a mustard yellow crop top.You looked so effortlessly beautiful in a way he could never understand.
Kie had quickly separated herself from the crowd as she ran towards you to hug you tight.You hugged back,laughing as you exclaimed that she was crushing you.Pope didnt take long to join in,next in line to hug you.JJ bit down on his bottom lip,wishing he could hug you.You wouldnt be happy to see him and he knew that but its not like you could scream at him in front of the others. “God,(Y/N)!Where have you been for like the last month?Ive tried calling you but you didnt answer.”Kiara frowned.You shrugged. “Ive been really busy and then my phone decided to crash and I dont have the money to fix it.”you answered.Pope frowned,JJ walking up behind him.You sent him a quick glare,covering it up with a grin as you continued to speak to Kiara. “Hey,(Y/N).Can I talk to you real quick?”JJ asked,holding his breath unknowingly.Your eyes darkened and he didnt miss the way your fists clenched. “Sure.I’ll be right back.”You told Kie,walking past Pope and giving him a quick fist bump.You didnt get hostile until you were away from your other friends.You and JJ walked out of sight closer to the large mount of rocks and washed up lobster traps. “What do you want,JJ?”You asked,glaring up at the blond.He gulped,looking down at his feet.
 “How do I fix this?”He asked.You rolled your eyes,laughing quietly to yourself. “You cant,JJ.You messed up our deal and then you fucked up my feelings and lied to me and you cant change any of it.”You sighed,looking up at him.He shook his head,biting his tongue. “I never lied to you!I’ve lied so much but I have never ever lied to you.”He almost shouted.You shook your head. “You’re lying right now.I dont get you,JJ.You broke every single rule and now you’re mad at me for it.Its been a month,why cant you just move on?”You asked.He shook his head. “You know why.”He answered.You went to walk away but he grabbed your hand,making you turn around.It brought you back to a month ago when he had broken the final rule.There had only been three.Why was it so difficult for him to not do three things?Ten months back you two started a whole friends with benefits kind of thing.JJ had mentioned how he had been looking for a nightly fuck and it kind of just happened.You two had both agreed it would be a lot safer to not hook up with random people and let them find out where John.B lived so you ended up just become eachothers nightly hookup.
You had made a set of rules.Just the three.Rule One:No Marks That Anyone Else Could See.He had broken that rule only two months in when he left six dark hickies along your neck and even more across your chest.You had woken up the next morning and looked in the mirror to see the dark purple marks that covered your body. “What the fuck,J?No noticable marks,remember?”You huffed.He turned to look at you,a grin on his face. “Well that sucks for you,princess.”He smiled up at you.You rolled your eyes,straddling him.He looked up at you with a sleepy yet confused expression.You smirked before leaning down and sucking hickeys up and down his chest.He didnt fight it,instead telling you that you missed a spot.You found it funny that the others hadnt managed to connect the dots.
The Second Rule was Not To Go To Eachothers Houses.This shouldve been common sense because of how loud JJ was and how small your house was.His house was too chaotic and dangerous as well.He had broken that rule five months in when he had climbed in your window in the middle of the night and shook you awake gently.You had been startled,obviously and ended up grabbing him by the neck and rolling on top of him. “Geez,(Y/N),didnt take you for the kinky type.”He grinned.You face palmed,laying back down on your bed. “What the fuck,JJ?Its like three in the morning.”You whisper shouted.He smirked,leaning down over you. “Yeah,but im horny and you werent around.”He spoke,his knees on either side of your hips.You sat up under him. “You’re not supposed to come to my house,JJ.”You reminded him.He frowned. “I know but im horny and I need help.”He reached for your hand and placed it over where he wanted it most.You sighed,leaning forward so your forehead was against his. “JJ,my parents are literally across the hall.”You told him.He nodded,leaning down to kiss you. “So just be quiet.”He instructed you.You bit your lip,nodding.He started off gentle,leaving feather like kisses on your lips and neck.He often got rough with you,not afraid of pinning your hands over your head or trying different positions.But this time he was surprisingly gentle.
He unbuttoned the oversized shirt you wore to bed,kissing your collarbones and sucking on your nipples.You let a moan slip out,causing him to hold his hand over your mouth.He licked a stripe up your neck,leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Bite my hand if you want me to stop,understand?”He asked.You nodded.He left hickeys along your stomach before tugging down your boy short underwear.He grinned at the small wet spot in them before tossing them onto the floor.He licked a stripe between your folds after kissing your inner thighs gently.You let out a small moan that was muffled by his hand.He put a finger in you,pumping slowly and only being fueled by the noises coming out of you.He put in another finger,pumping the two fingers into you at a hellish pace.Your eyebrows furrowed,eyes clenching shut as the bubble in your stomach grew before releasing itself all over him.He grinned,slurping it all up. “You want more,princess?”He asked.You nodded weakly,making him grin.He pulled down his shorts to reveal that he wasnt even wearing underwear.
He slowly slid into you,jaw dropping as he did so.You quickly reached your hand up to cover his mouth.He lowered his head and buried his face in the crook of your neck as he began to pound into you.He went hard and fast,making you reach your high again.He bit your neck lightly and let out a small moan that was muffled by your skin.Your hands went to his back and under the shirt that he was still wearing,your fingernails digging into his skin.He eventually collapsed on top of you,a panting and sweating mess.He pulled out of you,grabbing a tissue and cleaning you off.You pulled him close to you,pulling him down on the bed to hug him for a few moments.You always loved hugs for a reason he couldnt really understand.
The Third Rule was to not catch feelings.He had broken that the first day that the ‘relationship’ began but he hadnt admitted to it until a month ago.You two had just finished,laying next to eachother on the guest bed.He had pulled on his boxers,watching as you got dressed and pulled your hair up into a ponytail.You caught him staring,turning to look at him and raising your eyebrows in confusion. “What?”You asked.He shrugged,pulling the sheet over himself while still staring at you.You fixed your chain,still staring at him.You sighed,walking over to him and sitting down on the bed. “Somethings up with you.”You observed.He shook his head,avoiding your gaze.You rolled your eyes,sitting on top of him so he was forced to look at you. “What’s up,J?”You asked.He sighed,looking up at you with a certain look in his eye.It wasnt lust or anger...it was something that you had never seen before. “How do you even know something is up?”He asked.You shrugged.
 “You’ve been fucking me different lately.”You answered,combing his hair with your fingers.He furrowed his eyebrows. “Is that bad?”He asked.You shook your head,grinning. “No,just different.Now stop changing the subject.”You insisted,hoping he’d finally tell you what was on his mind.He let out a small breath as if he was nervous. “Could you maybe...not stare at me.”He mumbled.You frowned,getting off of him and sitting across from him on the mattress. “What is it?”You asked.His heart was beating quickly,blinking hard.His mouth opened as he struggled to form words. “I just...I dont know if i should be doing this anymore.”He answered,not looking at you.You pouted. “Doing what?”You asked.He sighed,looking up at you. “Us,I mean.I’ve broken all the rules and i just dont think I can handle it anymore.”He answered,waiting for you to answer.You stared down at your lap,trying to make sense of what he had just said to you.You shook your head,realizing what he was saying. “JJ-you havent broken all the rules.Not all of them,right?”You asked,hands shaking.He bit his lip,glancing at you before looking away.
 “How am I not supposed to have feelings for you when you fuck me like this?How can you expect me not to fall for you when you moan so loud and talk dirty to me and-god,I didnt mean too.”he sighed,holding his head in his hands.You shook your head,not believing it. “Bullshit,JJ.What’s actually going on?”You asked,hoping this was a sick joke.JJ knew how scared you were of love and how repulsed you were by the idea of someone loving you in such a way.He knew that yet he still decided to fuck with your feelings and joke like this.He looked directly at you. “Im in love with you, (Y/N).”He admitted.This wasnt going how he had always hoped it would.Kiara had made the group watch plenty of cheesy romance movies where the guy confessed his undying love for the quirky girl and she loved him too and they’d kiss and live happily ever after.He knew that wasnt going to happen but he had still hoped that maybe just maybe you’d smile and tell him you liked him as well or at least let im down gently.But no,you were staring at him completely horrified.
 “What the fuck,JJ?”You asked,angry.He just stared at you,nails digging into his palms. “I-I dont know what you want me to do about it.”He whispered,dumb founded.You bit your lip,looking at him as your eyebrows casted shadows over your irises. “Just stop.”You answered before standing up and walking out the door.He didnt try to stop you,instead just staring at the door after you left.He had tried texting and calling when you hadnt come around to the Chateau in a week.Kiara had tried but you didnt answer her either.John.B and the others had even drove to your house in the van but your mother had answered the door and told them that you were out.He had missed you so much.He had even tried going to your house in the middle of the night and knocking on your window.You hadnt opened the window or even woken up.He had seen you at the beach once on an early morning.He had immediately run up to you. “God,I thought you were dead.Where have you been?”He asked.You rolled your eyes. “Im so sorry if I dont wanna be around your lying manipulative ass.”You grumbled,attempting to walk away when he grabbed your hand.
JJ looked down at you,hand still holding yours. “Please,just give me a chance.Just let me love you.”He whispered.You pulled your hand from his grip,swallowing. “You dont love me.I dont know what youre feeling but I want nothing to do with it.”You spoke bitterly.He shook his head. “At least just be my friend again.Please,I need you in my life.Dont even do it for me,do it for the others.We’re all falling apart without you around.Kie is just depressed all the time and Pope has been trying to tell me about science shit and we need you back.Please,please,ill leave you alone if thats what you want but I just need you around again.”He begged.You nodded slowly. “Okay.But if you ever bring this whole thing up it’s all over,alright?”You asked.He nodded,eyes becoming glassy.It hurt to see but you werent sure what to do.You felt bad,of course,but there was nothing you could do about this.
You got a weird little shaking feeling in your stomach when he was near you but you didnt know what that meant.It couldnt mean that you liked him because he just wasnt the type of person that you should like. “Dont start crying right now.Dont you dare do it-I will drown you.”You threatened him.He sniffled,glancing away from you.You grinned. “You just started a war.”You grinned,dragging him to the water.He tried to fight you,a few tears slipping out.You splashed him,making him laugh before rubbing at his eyes.He splashed you back with only half of his effort,making you roll your eyes.You cupped your hands,throwing water at him.He scoffed,tackling you into the cold water.You laughed,flipping him over and splashing water into his hair.He sat up under you,laughing.His laughter stopped as he noticed the position he was currently in. “What?”You asked.He glanced down and then back up at you.
You rolled your eyes. “You’re such a pussy.”You sighed,climbing off of him and sitting in the water.He sighed,looking up at you. “We should go back so you can catch up with Kie and Pope.”He suggested,hoping you’d stay for a little longer anyways.You shook your head. “I think we should catch up.”You told him.He nodded,sitting up straight next to you as the waves smacked onto your thighs.You were both silent,the only noise being the constant smacking of the waves and distant music. “So….what do you want to talk about?”He asked.You sighed,leaning back on your elbows. “Id ask how youve been but uh….I think I already know.So….hows your dad been?”You asked,holding your breath.He shrugged. “You know,he’s just him.I’ve been staying at John.B’s.How...how has your mom been?”He asked.You sighed,brushing your hair away from your face. 
“Well,her and dad still argue and shit.They broke the window last week so that sucks but its fine.What have you been doing?”You asked.He wanted to be honest with you but he was embarrassed.He had smoked three times the amount of weed he usually did,went days without showering and had pulled a good 12 all nighters in one month.But he couldnt lie to you.Not when he had hurt you once. “Well,you know,the usual.Lots of weed,lots of beer,lost of surfing.”He answered.You nodded,laying down in the sand and closing your eyes. “That sounds nice.I’ve just been painting and swimming and thats pretty much it.Ive missed you guys,not gonna lie.”You admitted.He frowned,wanting nothing more than to wrap his arm around your waist and rest his head on your shoulder. “Then why wouldnt you come around?You werent that mad,were you?”He asked.You sighed,opening your eyes to look at him. 
“I dont think im as mad as I am scared.”You answered.He bit his lip,nodding. “I just...I dont get why you’re scared.I just dont get what about love is so scary.”He hoped you wouldnt get up and walk away.You stared up at the dark sky,letting out a loud,dramatic breath. “I just dont like the idea of it,okay?You know I hate it and that I want nothing to do with it.You know that.”You answered,your voice dripping venom.It sounded just like it had that time you scolded him for stealing from an independent business.You had been so pissed off.He nodded. “No,no,I know.I just want to know why you hate it so much.”He tried to form his questions into words.You grumbled something under your breath,sitting up. “Because if I fall in love I dont want to be the only one falling!The universe does this thing where it makes you fall for someone thats way too perfect and then of course they dont fall for you and you’re just stuck!”You exclaimed.JJ chuckled,looking away from you.
You had just explained his exact situation without meaning too. “Tell me about it.”He sighed.Your eyebrows furrowed,jaw dropping a bit when you realized what you had just said. “JJ-shit.Fuck,dude.”You whispered.He grinned sadly at you,his eyes having that same expression they had had that day he had first confessed to you. “Yeah,I get why you dont want this.It really sucks.”He laughed half heartedly.You sighed,looking up at him. “What does it feel like?”You asked him.He gulped,trying to ignore how close you were.Your body was practically pressed up against him.He was tempted to reach out and twirl your chain between his fingers. “Um...well its like just kind of wanting.Just like wanting things like when you see someone you just want to hug them and appreciate them and you just want them to be happy even if they arent with you.And-and you get this feeling in your stomach like when you drink so much and get all giggly.”He answered.He felt you inch closer,one of your arms wrapping around his torso as you rested your head under his chin.
He didnt really understand what you were doing but he wanted you to be comfortable around him.He tried his best not to act strange,wrapping an arm around your waist in a half hug. “JJ.”You mumbled. “Yeah?”He asked. “I think...I dont know.I think I might be in love with you.”You sighed,waiting for him to say something.His mind went completely blank,trying to think of what to say to you. “Umm...okay.Okay.So...so...what do we do now?”He asked.You shrugged,kissing his cheek lightly. “I have no idea.”You answered.He kissed your forehead,looking down at you.He leaned down slowly,giving you the time to pull away.You didnt,kissing him gently.It was different from the kisses you had shared before.This one was innocent and gentle,ending with a hug. “We should go back to the others now.”You spoke quietly.He nodded,helping you up and holding your hand for as long as he could.
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zontiky · 3 years
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okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream
this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd
pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh
The Hargreeves siblings are dead.
Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.
When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.
He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.
Anyway.
Klaus.
He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.
Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.
“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.
His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”
Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.
Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”
Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.
He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.
Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry. 
And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)
The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.
righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol
five shows up
he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts
god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk
somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober
or maybe hes high for all eternity?
for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober
so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers
asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry
he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,
if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,
ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless
and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge
five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him
dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse
OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along
i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((
for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist
IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK
okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.
1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves
after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit
which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse
bc theyd:
trust each other more
already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge
are working as a team from the very beginning
have open lines of communication
yeah uh. so there
vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen
oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf
there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar
so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise
okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd
2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist
this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on
subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk
aaaaaa
five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd
is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting
either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train
3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back
this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO
basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk
4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist
five with a gun but hes sad now
i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different
and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??
SCREAMS
i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)
subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something
yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd
subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind
i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa
okay jesus christ i think that’s all
I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3
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, LITERALLY WHO LOOKS AT NICK FUCKING RUSSEL AND GOES “mm yes, take my autism”
THIS IS AN ISSUE
WHY AM I LIKE THIS
whatever its too late now! you get to hear me talk about it to avoid writing it!!
So, i’ll be explaining the show for you newbs who dont watch power rangers like a smart person (as in the not watching it is smart). 
Power Rangers Mystic Force is, obviously, power rangers. It’s got the standard team of five with superpowers and weird biker-looking uniforms. 
If im honest, PRMF is literally just power rangers but with like fantasy magic.
It follows Nick Russell, the new guy in town. He’s a biker and he’s got this tragic bs backstory about how his parents abandoned him (update: they work overseas, they adopted him and like do not vibe with him)  and he travels, living with  family members and how he never sticks around long enough to make friends. We know he’s staying with his sister, and about nothing else. ~ Nick Russell is actually really important, of course, he is the Red Ranger and if we didn’t have the leader be angsty what kind of Power Rangers would we be, am I right? (i dunno i havent watched other power rangers in like ten years) ~
But we’ll come back to that. ~
There’s also Charlie “Chip” Thorn, a hyperactive hyperimaginative redhead with a love for fantasy and superheroes. He’s eager to join the team and loves the idea of quests and fighting villains and shit. He’s the Yellow Ranger, with Lightning Powers. ~
Vida Rocca, the ‘bad girl’. She has this one strip of her short hair that she dyes and may I just say when I finished the show a third time I couldnt not think ‘yO HER HAIR CHANGES TO SHOW HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT THE RANGERS’ but lets be honest thats probably bs lol. Anyways, she’s a DJ and she loves music, she’s the Pink Ranger (who hates pink for most of the show) with Wind Powers. ~
Madison Rocca, the ‘good girl’. She’s Vida’s sister, and she like following the rules and she enjoys recording her friends to make little videos for them to look back on when theyre older. She’s hesitant and cautious, but will do a lot to make sure her sister is safe. She’s the Blue Ranger, with the power of Water. ~
Xander Bly, he’s cocky and thinks hes all that, and flirts with women like every chance he gets. He thinks he’s super handsome and amazing and probably has a superiority complex for one reason or another. He’s the green ranger, with Nature Powers. ~
Not rangers include: ~
Koragg, one of the big bads who (SPOILERS) later turns out to be Nick’s father and Udonna’s long lost husband. Early on in the show he can telepathically communicate with Nick, which gives Nick these really really bad headaches, great for angst, it’s used as a bit of a plot device through a lot of the show and ngl I love it cause angst. ~
Uhh forgot her name but there’s the Vampire Queen who has bat wings on her hips and is in a full leather body suit. She’s kinda boring. ~
I forgot her name as well but the Vampire Queens daughter, who later goes on to save her mother because she realizes that the Rangers are the good guys and she’s on the wrong team.  ~
Udonna, the kinda ex White Ranger and a very powerful sorceress, as well as the Ranger’s trainer and Claire’s aunt. ~
Claire, (SPOILERS) who turns out to be the Daughter of Udonna’s sister, who was more powerful than her and sacrificed her life to seal the gate to what is essentially hell. She’s comedically bad at magic early in the show, and acts a lot like a comedic relief. ~
The Master, aka The Big Bad that the evil guys are trying to let free. Koragg before he became Koragg was trying to kill him and succeeded in trapping him further than all the others. He’s some weird tentical creepy muscles-showing no skinned weird i dunno i think i repressed this cause i forgot what he looks like lol.
Alright, so those are the characters. Now let me explain the plot.
Nick rides into town on his bike and is usually found set up outside the record shop that the rest of the Rangers (yet to be) work at. Btw, theyre all teenagers, but I think this takes place in summer cause we never see them go to school. 
Anyways, this old man calls for somebody to help him, and says that his brother and him were walking through the woods and somebody grabbed him, and he needed somebody to go looking for his brother. Nick, not being apart of the town to know they have rumours about dying in the forest, offers to help.
Xander tells him the woods are haunted, he ignores the man saying the man needs help so who gives a shit about some rumours, and then Vida is like “i’ll help too,” and Chip joins in cause he thinks its gonna be some awesome quest. They make it out to the forest, and Maddie and Xander join them, (”Xander I told you if you ever took my car I’d rearrange your limbs!” -Vida, episode one).
The man is like super ominous and her vanishes once they get into the forest, this creepy witch lady saves them from some bad guys attempting to attack them, and then throws brooms at them that they fly off on. 
Time skip not actually in the show but im losing steam so we’re moving on. Eventually, they make it to RootCore, aka the base of operations, and meet Udonna and Claire. Udonna is this super powerful sorceress and the White Ranger, and she trains them. Claire is her apprentice who is comedically bad at magic.
She hands out wands to them, they go to leave, get into a fight, all of them but Nick believe in and use magic, Nick leaves the forest, Udonna fights Koragg and loses her staff aka her White Ranger magic, and the Rangers are left in charge of saving everybody. In the end, Nick goes to leave and ends up showing up anyways to save the rangers from Koragg and embraces the magic, becoming the Red Ranger.
That’s the gist of the first episode, and the rest is kinda just “fight the bad guys, discover random secrets that make a surprising amount of sense for a show like this, fail a couple times, do some weird shit then end on a happy note”
WHICH BTW THE ENDING? FUCKIN WEIRD
The fantasy creatures integrate with Humans, Vida dyes all her hair bright pink, Nick fucking leaves town and this is the weird part. Because for one, Nick wanted to stay with his friends it was obvious, but for two; the way he left was w e i r d . He, Udonna and not-evil-Koragg who I forgot the name of, leave together.
The end scene is Nick riding up to the edge of the rode on his Motorcycle, then it slowly pans out to show Udonna and Nek (im just calling him Nek as in not evil koragg now) on bikes as well?? one of them asks if hes ready to go and they ~ride off into the sunset~
For one: THESE ARE AGE OLD SORCERERS WHO HAVE VERY LITTLE IDEA ABOUT HUMAN TECH?? HOW DO THEY KNOW HOW TO RIDE??
For two: dID THEY JUST HAVE THESE BIKES RIDING AROUND?? AND THE HELMETS?? DID THEY SHELL OUT A BUNCH OF MONEY FOR THIS?? LITERALLY WHAT???
anyways, great show! youve gotta watch it on some.. less than legal sites but shh its okay shhhh. It used to be on Netflix but like yaknow, its gone now. Either way, it’s a great show in my opinion! Like I mean it’s bad cause Power Rangers, so to most who are looking to critique there’s probably shit acting, and there’s a lot of not needed grunting in battle, the effects are shitty and the costumes are kinda depressing, but it’s still enjoyable! 
Random Facts-- ~
Vida hates Pink, despite being the pink ranger. ~
Chip, Vida, and Maddie have been friends since either kindergarten or elementary school, i dunno about Xander. ~
They all work at a Record Shop/Music Shop together, and their boss is an idiot but kinda entertaining. ~
Vida turns into a vampire for about two episodes, and Chip is the one to figure it out. ~
Maddie gets turned to stone because Nick essentially calls her useless and shy, and so she went out to prove otherwise, and got caught up in an attack. ~
Chip opens a weird black bottle he found after a battle and some weird thing comes out and attacks him, he spends the B Plot of that episode quite literally dying with his soul being eaten and climbing a mountain to get the cure. ~
Koragg has a really dumb moral code about how he only fights with Honor and refuses to kill the rangers most of the time because its “not honorable” for some reason or another. ~
There’s an episode where Xander gets this really really ugly and big zit right on the tip of his nose, and he uses this perfection potion Claire made for plants. He proceeds to turn into a literal tree and be depressed. ~
There’s a Troblin, the child of a Troll and a Goblin, named Phineas who’s very entertaining and I like this. By the end of the show, he ends up dating the daughter of the Vampire Queen which when you think too hard about makes no sense. ~
Nick turns into Koragg at one point late in the series. I completely fucking forgot how, but he does lol.
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loptyrs-moved · 3 years
Note
Can you talk more abt ur fandoms ocs? I like your writing a lot and would like to know more abt em
Oh my goodness I’m 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you’re SO sweet thank you!
Well, I have quite a few and some have their own deeper lore stories that go with them. If you guys want more information on them, I can do separate posts on all of them. But Here they are! I’m so excited to share my babies with you!
More is under the cut. The Picrew I used is here.
Ikemen Revolution
Black Army Side
Corrin Fukui
Age: Appears to be in mid-early twenties
Hair: Brick white
Eyes: Blood Red
Height: 4′11
Any other Qualities:
Draconic features -- She’s literally a dragon but not by nature
Curved Opalescent Horns
Shimmery opalescent tail
Wings that also shimmer in the light
retractable?
Pointed ears
Easily frightened by loud noises and sudden movements
stunted growth
Hoards blankets and comfort items
writes in a journal every day 
its one luka got for her and she refuses to write in anything else. she pours her heart out on the pages, and all her memories
she had a brother! but he passed away because of the magic tower :(
turns into a gIANT DRAGON 
ICE ICE BREATH BABY
Was found by Luka while on a patrol near the forbidden forest, lost and afraid, so she was taken in
Had amnesia at first
She actually is an experiment of Amon and she managed to escape
Excellent at sewing and gardening
Sufficient with baking
She’s for Luka! The way they fell for each other was a slow, gradual trust, and mutual understanding. She saw him as a man, as he was, and nothing else.
Sometimes is called Corri
gentle hearted and innocent
but not as innocent as you’d think 
she’s a dragon, and she’s a greedy little one
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Ophelia Dae
Age: 24
Hair: Crimson red
Eyes: Jade green
Height: 5′8
Any other Qualities:
A skilled swordsman, and one of the Chosen Thirteen
9 of Spades baybeee
While she is more accustomed to short swords and sabers, Phelia is a magic user! But she isn’t really in agreement with Ray with his stance on magic
BOMBASTIC AS HELL
BISEXUAL
“Is he bothering you Queen?”
Trans
Was friends with Ray and Fenrir while in school, and was just as much of a hellraiser as them
she was there when the day things went dark happened and was almost taken but that day is a blur for her
phelia REFUSES to talk about it
she still has nightmares
raised by a single mother
TRIVIA! She was an old fire emblem oc i had and she was the daughter of Arvis -- so if you squint when she uses magic you’ll see Valflame
joined the army probably because Fenrir was too, and she was inspired by him 
she joined for her own reasons but he made it easier for her to do it too
his passion was what made her fall for him in the first place
has a personal vendetta against the magic tower for what they did to her and her friends
AND CORRIN JEEZ
will sacrifice herself if necessary to the cause
PROBABLY HAS ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IT
Bruh girl
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Amira Nasiri
Age: 22
Hair: Chocolate brown
Eyes: Turquoise blue
Height: 5′3
Any other qualities:
My version of Alice! Difference is that she’s Persian
That’s it
She’s just as spunky as Alice 
however she responds with being called Alice a little different
she’s adamant about being called Amira
At some point she just accepts Seth does it to distance himself
also an avid baker like alice
pISTACIOS
BAKLAVA
Amira is just Alice except she’s just my take on her. 
She has the same vibrant spirit as Alice
and I personally consider Seth the canon route for REASONS
just ask me why fjgdfgjksd
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Red Army Side
Azul Flores
Age: 25
Hair: Raven black
Eyes: Wisteria purple
Height: 5′0
Any Other Qualities:
An old friend of the Queen of Hearts
like she met him when she was 8 years old
fought his bullies when they would give him a hard time when he was a kid
they dated for a WHILE
did NOT work out
HARD CHILDHOOD
Ambitious, hard working young woman who was married into a high standing family on the Red side. Her mother was a teacher and gained the attention of one of the Chosen Thirteen on that side, and got married
Azul is NOT the officer’s daughter. She’s his step daughter
Has had extensive studies on the History of Cradle and of the Red Territory.
Wants to be a Cradle Historian
Works for the Red Army as a personal assistant to the queen
UNINTENTIONAL
THEY ACTUALLY CANT STAND EACH OTHER
Unless....
Look their story is very dramatic and it hurts me every day so please stay tuned with them. 
CUT THROAT BITCH
YOUR DEVIL
DEMON
Heckles Jonah like its her job — she knows him better than anyone elsd, if anyone knows his bs, its her
Bad resting bitch face
Actually really shy, and quiet when in different surroundings
A sweetheart and will cut a bitch for you once she knows u
She is perhaps one of the most transparent, honest, genuine person. there is no bullshit with her. she will tell you her honest thoughts with you
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Cerise Nam
Age: 19
Hair: Berry Pink
Eyes: Petal Pink
Height: 5′2
Any other qualities:
Her mom came to Cradle from a far off place, and set up a food and pastry shop in the Central Quarter. Met her dad. Been there since
They live in Black Territory
She works for her parents and works with the pastries/desserts
loves making desserts from where her parents are from
She knows the Queen of Hearts VERY well since she makes the best mille feuille
Got a job from him actually, and works for the Red Army Headquarters kitchen
Loves to cook and bake!
a little naïve, but she’s a realist
youngest of FIVE kids!!
Morning girl
She may be petite but she can HEAFT heavy bags of flour/rice/dry goods
Met Zero by accident, and crashed into him while in town
love at first sight for her. how can you fault her?
she thinks he’s dreamy... and sweet...
does she flirt with him a little? Cerise can’t help it...
She and Zero have more of a hidden relationship because she fears her parents won’t approve
family stuff -- and she understands
RED ARMY OFFICER?? BLACK TERRITORY GIRL
look im cheesy
dont worry it works out
zero has to consider himself and his own personal stuff too so its a little difficult 
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Non Army Suitor(s)
Lucile Lidell
Age: 20
Hair: Straw blonde
Eyes: Aqua blue
Height: 5'1
Any other qualities:
She and her twin, Noelle, are the actual descendants of the original Alice
Inherited unusual hairpins that were from cradle
More of the 'modern woman stuck in the wrong time' kind of gal
Rebellious
Noelle and Luci: partners in crime
Short skirts galore
Does not give a singular shit of what MEN think of her
Wants to be taken seriously
Sometimes acts like an airhead in order to get attention. She's actually pretty somber as a person and prefers to be in the background as her sister takes the stage
loves her sister more than anyone else in the world
When she and Noelle fall into Cradle, they kind of hightail it and live in the woods with Harr and Loki
Sticks with Harr since he's literally the least threatening man ever
First man to feel safe around
"Excuse me he said NO pickles!"
Will cut a bitch for him, or use magic -- luci will hurt someone if they even think a bout looking at him wrong
Loves to make clothes
'I mended the holes in your cloak for you...' 'Bye Harr, be safe and have a good day.'
'Welcome home, I missed you.'
Puts up a tough girl front but she's just a big softie just like him
Doesn't realize she has a crush on him until shit starts to hit the fan
Actually very vanilla tbh but wants to spoil her bf
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Ikemen Sengoku
Ito Tsunade
Age: 26
Hair: Straw Blonde
Eyes: Molten Gold
Height: 5′5
Any Other Qualities:
Graduate student at the same university as Sasuke 
got stuck in the storm with him and Mai, and was tossed into the sengoku era
but she got separated from Mai
Met Shingen first much to her luck because uh.... lets say Tsunade is aint the sharpest tool in the shed
HEAD EMPTY
ZERO THOUGHTS
AIRHEAD
her aesthetic when she gets there?
TITS OUT
BIG HONKERS BIG TATA
HOT
her head might be empty but her tits are fat and they will protect you
Music nerd — loves traditional Japanese instruments, especially the difficult ones
Specializes in girl metal in modern day
eventually proves herself and plays some sick chords for the takeda/uesegi forces
she has entertained them for now
puts sake away like a monster
when she meets sasuke, she finds comfort in the fact he’s also lost with her, so she clings
asks him how to protect herself from shingen bc he’s horny lolol
genuinely thinks sasuke is hilarious
also does NOT realize she’s in love with him until the gravest of grave happens
her name was UNINTENTIONAL
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Aibana Hinata
Age: Presents in his early-mid twenties
Hair: Black Midnight
Eyes: Haunting gold and vermillion
Height: 5'3
Any other qualities: 
The concubine of Nobunaga
Please know I made him a long while before the other guy was dropped so I’m just gonna offer this little gay boy
Nobunaga bought him from a brothel after being so intrigued by him. Hina entertained him so well that he was set for life
A RIGHT SNARKY BASTARD
HE KNOWS HE’S PRETTY AND CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER
Likes to challenge Nobunaga in battles of wits
board games
debate as pillow talk
swordplay if the lords will entertain him enough
Bisexual as hell
Gender? Don’t know her
He uses all pronouns
True pronoun: princess
ONLY EXISTS IN A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS MAI
Nobunaga/Mai/Hinata........
Unless.......
Smart, and educated
former geisha
he can read! and write!
LOVE FUCKING WITH HIDEYOSHI
if there is mai, he would bond with her like no one else
he would be her best friend
her confidant
genuinely adores her
even if she is pursuing nobunaga, he doesn’t resent her ... he just wishes that she would find room in her heart for him too
puts up a tough exterior
a softie.....
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goldencuffs · 4 years
Note
I'M HORRIBLE AT PROMPTS. laurent trying to do something really nice for damen&it kind of goes to hell but damen loves him so much&can't quit loving on him for it all? or laurent goes to some university&everyone thinks he's gorgeous but he's kind of a bitch&when he tells them he has a boyfriend everyone is like yeah right then damen comes to pick him up, looking hotter than anyone has any right to be&laurent melts with him? i'll read literally anything you write, it could be a n y t h i n g
@marrieddorkss​ im so so so sorry this took so fucking long lmao my god. im a mess. hopefully you still like it?? and it isnt such a fucking disaster lol?? 
Summary: Laurent decides to do something nice for Damen – and then immediately regrets it.
When Laurent comes back from his last class of the day, it’s to find Damen standing outside his dorm room, wearing a nice, oversized tank top and fraying shorts. The duffle bag by his feet is packed full; Laurent can see the sides of it are lumpy.
 “Hey.” Damen’s smile is pleasant. It transforms his face and makes him look younger, despite the stubble growing across his face.
 Laurent smiles too. “Hello,” he says, and when he’s close enough, he rests his hands on Damen’s hips and goes on his tiptoes to kiss his nose.
 Damen’s smile widens, the creases by his eyes deepening. He scans Laurent’s face intently. “I’m guessing that your presentation went well?”
“It went well,” Laurent says. He pauses. “Actually, it went very well. I managed to answer every single question at the end.”
 Damen wraps his arms around Laurent’s shoulders in a tight squeeze. “Fuck yeah!” He cheers. His enthusiasm is genuine, and it makes Laurent’s face heat.
 “It’s not that big of a deal – I’m sure there are other people who did way better.”
 “Stop that,” says Damen. He kisses Laurent’s forehead. “You killed it; I know you did.”
 Laurent doesn’t answer. He just tips his head up in a silent request. Damen’s smile softens around the edges, and then he leans down to kiss Laurent fully on his mouth.
 The kiss heats up quickly, as usual. Damen licks inside his mouth with vigour, his hand moving down Laurent’s back to grip his ass. Laurent moans into it, tugging on the front of Damen’s shirt to pull him closer.
 Damen’s cock is already hard; it presses up against the inside of Laurent’s thigh in a slow, teasing drag. Laurent shifts his own hips forward, his body tight with anticipation.
 A door slams shut at the end of the corridor and Damen detaches himself from Laurent in a measured pace, realising at the same moment Laurent does, that they’re in a very open, public setting.
 “Come inside,” Laurent tells him.
 Damen squeezes his ass again. “Here?” His smirk is sharp and arrogant.
 Laurent hates how much he likes it.
 He doesn’t let Damen know that though; instead, he rolls his eyes and drags Damen inside to his dorm room. It’s far from its usual pristine condition; Laurent hasn’t made his bed in a week, his dirty clothes are in a pile by the door and his desk is overflowing with papers, textbooks and plastic wrappers from food he’s bought lately.
 Laurent grimaces at the mess. Damen doesn’t seem to mind, or even acknowledge it; he flings himself onto the single bed with as much ease as he can, hauling his duffle bag up with him.
 “What’s in there?” Laurent asks.
 The duffle bag is an expensive, leather one. For years, it had sat alone and dusty in the Revere’s garage, until Laurent had gifted it to Damen over the summer. Now, it’s used constantly; Damen takes it with him to classes and football practice and is rarely seen without it. He takes good care of it too: he diligently cleans it once a week and keeps it stored in his closet, away from sunlight.
 Damen waggles his eyebrows in response to Laurent’s question. He sits up again and opens it with an exaggerated amount of fanfare, slowly inching the zipper in small tugs.
 It’s amusing; it shouldn’t be, but almost everything Damen does makes Laurent laugh. He likes that.
 Inside the lining of the bag, the tag is visible. It used to simply read ‘Revere’, but someone – probably Nikandros – has added, with marker, an apostrophe and the word ‘bitch’, so the entire thing says: ‘Revere’s bitch’.
 Laurent also likes that.
 Laurent doesn’t focus too long on the tag. The contents of the bag are much more appealing: there’s an assortment of treats packed haphazardly inside. Laurent can see chip packets, chocolate, tubs of ice cream and a four pack of Krispy Kreme donuts.
 Laurent taps the lid of one of the ice cream containers; it’s sea salt, his favourite. “Did you rob a grocery store? Is this your first step into the tantalising world of crime?”
 Damen’s shrug is uncharacteristically shy. His fingers are still toying with the zipper, but he still manages to look Laurent in the eye as he says, “They’re for you. I figured – depending on how your presentation goes – they’d either be celebratory snacks or conciliatory ones.”
 Laurent smiles. There’s a sudden, pressing warmth in his chest. “Really,” he says, touched.
 Damen is still shy; it’s a strange yet endearing look on him.
 Laurent’s smile doesn’t waver. He pushes the duffle bag a little, so it ends up against the wall, rather than between them. He crosses the now empty space, shifting closer to Damen until Laurent manages to straddle his lap, knees digging into the hard mattress below.
 He presses a soft kiss to the corner of Damen’s mouth. He keeps his mouth there, against the stubble across Damen’s jaw, and says: “Thank you. I love how thoughtful you are.”
 Damen swallows, eyes darkening. His hands rest on Laurent’s hips. His touch is deceptively light.
 This time, Laurent initiates the kiss. He keeps it slow, the way he favours, and Damen lets him. His hands begin to wander over Laurent’s body; even when they’re not fucking, Laurent has come to learn that Damen likes to touch him constantly.
 When Damen’s hands settle on Laurent’s ass once more, Laurent shifts his hips a little. Damen’s other hand drops to cup Laurent’s ass cheek.
 Laurent’s gasp is a quiet sound; most of it is swallowed by Damen’s mouth.
 They begin a slow, steady rut. It reminds Laurent of the first time they did this, a few months ago in a secluded booth in Route, the small club down the road from their campus.
 Laurent didn’t know Damen too well at the time, but he was always petering around the Student Life office, where Laurent had been volunteering on and off throughout the semester. He wasn’t sure what Damen did there: sometimes he volunteered to help with administrative tasks, but mostly, from what Laurent saw, Damen seemed to just want to hang around him.
 They formed a tentative, shallow relationship that consisted of very poor flirting on Laurent’s part and a lot of unprecedented confidence on Damen’s.
 It was obvious to everyone how much Damen wanted to fuck Laurent; he always looked half crazed every time Laurent so much as looked at him. Laurent found that he didn’t exactly mind it; Damen was attractive, receiving his attention was heady, and it wasn’t as though Laurent was swimming in proposals.
 So, when Damen had asked him to hang out at Route with him on a Saturday night, Laurent had said yes, fully expecting the outcome of the evening.
 Still, Damen had seemed surprised when, after two drinks, Laurent climbed into his lap. Their first kiss had been relatively innocent: just a short, chaste peck. Then Laurent, spurred on by the alcohol, deepened it. Damen responded eagerly, pulling closer Laurent and licking into his mouth with a shocking amount of indecency.
 After a while, he’d pulled back. His eyes had been so dark, and he’d gazed at Laurent with awe.
 Laurent had said: “If you’re going to keep looking at me like that, you might as well just fuck me here.”
 Damen had inhaled sharply; even with all the noise around them, Laurent still managed to hear it.
 Twenty minutes later, Laurent had been pressed down into his mattress as Damen licked him open for his cock.
 As he’d pushed into him for the first time, Damen panted into his ear, “Fuck, I don’t usually do this on a first date.”
 Laurent had laughed.
 Afterwards, Laurent had thought he wouldn’t see much of Damen anymore. He knew how one night stands worked. He suspected that now that Damen had been inside him – more than once, actually – he would stop loitering around the Student Life office.
 That didn’t happen. Instead, Damen seemed more persistent to hang around Laurent. Laurent let it happen. By this point, he’d grown fond of Damen, the way someone might feel fond over a stray puppy that constantly showed up at their door.
 Besides, as the weeks wore on, Laurent discovered that as well as being extremely sexually compatible, Damen and he were also compatible outside of bed; they became fast friends, much to the bemusement of everyone else.
 It’s amazing how far they’ve come, Laurent thinks. He doesn’t think he’s been so comfortable with anyone in his entire life.
 Now, in the silence of his bedroom, Damen’s lips drag across Laurent’s neck. Laurent shivers, fingers running over Damen’s shoulders. He’s careful as he tugs off Damen’s shirt. Damen’s chest is marvellous – it’s all sculpted pecs and hard planes. There’s a tattoo of a lion roaring on his right pec. It’s the most obnoxious thing Laurent has ever seen, and the first time Laurent had seen it, he’d licked it. He might’ve felt stupid about it at the time, but that feeling quickly evaporated when Damen’s hips stuttered, and he’d spilled his release inside Laurent.
 Once Damen’s shirt comes off, the need to get naked becomes a priority for both of them. Damen rolls Laurent onto his back after Laurent takes off his own shirt, mouthing over his collarbone, his nipples, his bellybutton, and then his hipbone.
 Laurent is quick to unbuckle his belt when Damen kisses the waistband of his jeans.
 Damen is always meticulous in preparing him. It doesn’t matter if it’s been five minutes or five days since they last fucked, Damen never rushes. Laurent’s given up on trying to coax him to be faster.
 Laurent’s knee jerks a little when Damen’s fingers, covered in cold lube, circle around his rim in sure strokes. Damen kisses the inside of his thigh, then the crease of his groin as Laurent pants. When his finger breaches Laurent, Laurent turns his head into the pillow, moaning against the silk fabric.
 “Please,” he says quietly, and Damen groans, long and loud. He likes it when Laurent begs, a fact that makes Laurent flush.
 Damen continues fingering him. The sounds are disgusting, wet and sloppy. Laurent doesn’t understand why he likes it so much.
 Finally, finally, Damen pulls away. Laurent’s fingers twist the bedsheets in anticipation. He knows he’s flushed all over; he can feel the colour vining across the bridge of his nose and down his chest.
 Damen’s cockhead drags down his crease. It makes Laurent delirious.
 “Yeah?” says Damen. His hand grips the base of his cock and his eyes are fixed on Laurent, like he can’t bear to look away.  Laurent knows the feeling; Damen looks so good like this.
 “Yes,” says Laurent, in Veretian.
 That makes Damen groan again. He only gets louder as he pushes into Laurent. Laurent’s eyes go cross eyed at the initial stretch. He loves this: the initial pain of Damen’s cock entering him.
 “God, Laurent.” Damen grunts as he starts thrusting, biting down on the column of Laurent’s neck.
 “Yeah, fuck me,” Laurent says. His hands slide down Damen’s sweaty back. “Harder – please, I need it.”
 “Fuck,” Damen gasps as he complies. He lifts his head from the crook of Laurent’s shoulder and kisses him.
 Laurent keens into it. He wraps his legs around Damen’s waist, murmuring encouragements in Veretian against Damen’s mouth.
 Damen’s thrusts start to get shallow; his rhythm isn’t synced, but it still makes Laurent’s toes curl.
 “Good?” Damen says. His biceps are straining with effort.
 “You know it is,” Laurent says.
 “I like the confirmation,” Damen says with that terrible smirk, and Laurent closes his eyes and lets himself take it.
 Damen comes first. He’s loud when it happens; Laurent is sure his neighbours hate him.
 His cock is straining against his stomach when Damen pulls out. Laurent flushes when he feels the wetness inside him, and he darkens further when Damen pulls his ass cheeks apart, watching in awe as his come dribbles out of Laurent’s hole.
 “Don’t touch your cock,” says Damen.
 “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Laurent arches his back when Damen’s mouth seals over his hole.
 Damen slips his tongue in easily, licking into Laurent with enthusiasm. Laurent shakes under his grip. Damen’s stubble rubs against his skin, and Laurent knows it’s steadily pinkening.
 He feels on edge. His cock is so hard it hurts. He pulls on Damen’s curls desperately, and Damen buries into him deeper.
 Laurent’s mouth falls open. His quiet panting fills the room, joining the cacophony of sounds Damen’s mouth produces as he eats him out.
 Laurent feels like crying. He almost asks Damen to stop because it’s too much, too much, too much.
 Then Damen slows down to short, tiny licks. When he resurfaces, he gives Laurent a filthy wink. His chin is wet.
 Laurent comes.
 *
 Every Thursday, Laurent and Damen have lunch at a small brunch place just outside campus. It’s usually packed, but Damen always manages to secure them a table. Laurent suspects this is because Damen has slept with one of the baristas. Damen has never explicitly denied this detail.
 Today, their table is outside, along the gravel path leading to the campus gardens. The weather is nice; a rarity in Marlas, and Laurent enjoys the sunshine on his face.
 Initially their weekly lunch meetings had been a habit borne out of practicality: last semester, one of the only days they could meet up was on Thursday mornings. After a good, thorough fuck, Damen always needed a cigarette, and Laurent always got hungry, so their solution was to head out to this particular brunch place.
 Now, though, it’s become a fixed tradition between them. Damen also refers to it as their place – which Laurent still doesn’t quite understand.
 Damen orders his usual – the everything breakfast – and Laurent, pleasantly reminded of this morning’s activities when he moves in his seat, decides to order the same thing.
 Halfway through their meal, they’re interrupted by Nikandros, one of Damen’s teammates. Nikandros is wearing his letterman jacket, but he shrugs it off as he pulls up a seat at their table. He steals a chorizo sausage off of Laurent’s plate, despite Laurent’s protests.
 Nikandros starts talking to Damen about the statistics of their latest game while Laurent finishes up his food. Once he’s done, he pulls out his pack of cigarettes. He manages to finish half of it; he offers Nikandros the rest. Nikandros eyes fall on the cigarette, then Laurent’s mouth, before he forcibly tears his eyes away and shakes his head.
 He addresses Damen again, his voice slightly hoarse, “Hey! I just remembered – guess who I saw coming out the law library today?”
 “Who?” Damen takes Laurent’s cigarette.
 Nikandros pauses for dramatic effect. His smirk is not as attractive as Damen’s. “Lykaios.”
 Damen drops his cigarette. He doesn’t pay it much mind; instead, he leans forward in his seat, eyes alight. “Wait – seriously? You’re not messing with me?”
 “Nah,” Nikandros shakes his head, looking pleased. “Asked her what she’s doing here, apparently she’s starting postgrad law this semester.” Nikandros pauses again. “Like you.”
 “Wow.” Damen’s expression is brittle with disbelief. “What are the chances?”
 “Seems like fate.”
 “Who’s Lykaios?” Laurent asks.
 “Oh,” says Damen. “She’s an old friend from when I still lived in Ios.”
 “A friend,” says Nikandros. His expression is amused. “Oh, come on, you two were practically together.”
 “That’s not true,” Damen says quickly. He casts Laurent a reassuring look. “It honestly isn’t.”
 Laurent doesn’t understand why Damen is being so defensive; it’s not news to him that Damen has been with other people.
 “You were pretty much in love with her, dude.” Nikandros picks a sausage off Damen’s plate this time.
 “Oh,” Laurent says before he can help it. The statement takes him by surprise. One of the first things Damen had told him when they’d first started hooking up was: I don’t know what it’s like to be in love. In the stillness of the night, Damen had been vulnerable and open; it was the first time Laurent realised the person in his bed might be more multifaceted than he let on.
 “No,” Damen gives Laurent another reassuring look. His foot presses against Laurent’s underneath the table. “I wasn’t.” His voice is firm. “There was a time I thought I was, but I was wrong.”
 Nikandros clearly doesn’t believe him. He rolls his eyes and utters a small, “Whatever.”
 Laurent pulls out another cigarette, thinking.
 *
 Later that night, Laurent is contemplative. It’s late: almost two in the morning and the rain outside is a welcome, soothing noise.
 Laurent is so sore, he almost regrets the last round, as short as it was. It doesn’t keep him from draping himself over Damen’s chest, fingers lazily tracing over the tattoo on his pec.
 Damen keeps running his fingers through Laurent’s sweat soaked hair, his fingernails gently scratching against his scalp. It’s so relaxing, Laurent feels like he could fall asleep like this. Practically, he knows he shouldn’t: there’s dry come on his stomach and between his thighs. He’s also sweaty, and Damen is too.
 But instead of getting up, Laurent asks into the stillness of the night: “What is she like?”
 Damen jerks a little; his eyes have been closed for a while now.
 “Hm?”
 “Lykaios,” Laurent says. “I want to know what she’s like.”
 There’s a small pause. Damen shifts again. “Why?”
 “I don’t know. It seemed like she means a lot to you – and I’m interested.”
 “She meant a lot to me. As in, past tense.”
 “It didn’t seem that way during lunch,” Laurent points out. He doesn’t know why Damen is being so evasive and why it’s bothering him so much. “You seemed excited to hear about her.”
 “Well yeah,” Damen says. In the darkness, it’s hard to read his usually expressive face, but Laurent can still sense a growing tightness in Damen’s body. “But that’s only because it’s been a while since any of us have heard from her. She sort of disappeared after first year.”
 Laurent pinches Damen’s bicep. “Tell me.”
 Damen sighs. He rolls over, so Laurent is unfairly jostled aside. He turns on the lamp on the bedside table. As the room is washed in a dull yellow light, Laurent can see how matted Damen’s hair has become, as well as the fingernail indentations along his shoulders.
 “There’s honestly not much to say,” Damen says. His voice is very quiet, mindful of the neighbouring dorm rooms. “We were family friends for years, and in my senior year I realised I liked her a lot – more than I thought I did. But she had a boyfriend, so I never did anything about it. And then she dumped him because she liked me, but this time I was seeing someone. So, in the end, nothing happened.”
 “That’s it?” Laurent frowns. In his mind, he keeps replaying Damen’s reaction at lunch; surely, there must be more to the story. Damen huffs. It almost seems like he’s pouting. He pokes Laurent’s stomach, hard. “You’re being very annoying.”
 Laurent swats his hand away. “Are you still in love with her?”
 “I already told you I never was. I just thought I could be because I was a horny eighteen year old.”
 That makes Laurent laugh. It’s an unintentional sound, but it makes Damen smile.
 “I’m not interested in anyone but you,” Damen says, too sincerely. The words hang heavy in the air.
 Laurent doesn’t know what to make of it – not just the words, but Damen’s tone as well. It makes his stomach clamp up. He thinks Damen is making a point about how attractive he finds Laurent; in bed, the subject of Laurent’s body is always a welcoming topic.
 So, Laurent says, a little awkwardly, “Thank you.”
 Damen snorts. He looks fond. He kisses Laurent, and Laurent gladly welcomes it.
 It’s a slow, sensual kiss. Damen keeps mapping out Laurent’s body with his hands, fingertips tracing over the veins across Laurent’s wrist, his chest.
 “Think you can go again?” Damen says against his mouth. Pressed to each other like this, Laurent can feel Damen’s erection. It’s hot, he thinks to himself, how Damen physically reacts to him, even when Laurent hasn’t done anything to particularly excite him.
 He’s still sore, sweaty and gross, but Laurent says: “Yes.”
 *
 Laurent is late to his study session with Damen on Wednesday. They normally don’t study together; tonight is an exception. Damen is apparently tired of being cooped in his room alone as he pours over his essays.
 Outside the study room, Laurent pauses. Through the clear glass, he can see Damen is already seated, textbooks placed carelessly over the wooden tabletop. But he’s not alone. There’s someone seated on the edge of the table, in the one corner free of Damen’s things.
 It’s Lykaios. Laurent knows it must be; Damen’s face is exuberant, creased with warmth. His smile is filled with teeth, white and straight, and there’s a lingering softness there. Laurent’s chest clenches with a foreign feeling. He’s unsure what it is, but then deduces it must be relief at seeing Damen so happy.
 Laurent almost turns back. He wants to give Damen and his not-quite ex-girlfriend time to catch up. The thought of intruding on them with his presence fills him with anxiety. But he remains rooted on the spot because, for some strange reason, the thought of leaving them alone also fills him with anxiety.
 Luckily – or perhaps, unluckily; Laurent still hasn’t made up his mind – Damen spots him through the glass. His smile, now directed at Laurent, changes instantly; it dissolves into a steady kind of fondness. His eyes seem to shine brighter.
 It completely baffles Laurent.
 His chest tightens again; this time, it’s much more pleasant.
 Laurent supposes he should enter now. Damen seems to have forgotten about Lykaios; his eyes remain on Laurent as Laurent fumbles with the doorknob and steps into the room.
 “Hey,” he says. His smile – and voice – wobble. “Sorry I’m late.”
 “Don’t worry about it,” Damen’s smile, impossibly, widens even more. Laurent’s gaze is helplessly drawn to it.
 They stare at each other for a few moments longer than necessary until Damen seems to remember they’re not alone. He fumbles over the introductions, face flushed.
 Lykaios is unbelievably gorgeous. Like most Akielons, she’s very tall; even wearing flats she’s a few inches taller than Laurent. Laurent tries not to be bitter about it. Her hair isn’t as blonde as Laurent’s, but it’s long and shiny. Her eyes are amazing; long lashed and an intriguing colour, somewhere between green and blue.
 Standing next to Damen, the two of them look like a regal painting. They look good together. They complement each other.
 Laurent – unexpectedly, painfully – feels inadequate.
 Lykaios rounds the table and shakes Laurent’s hand with vigour. Her smile is kind and open; her enthusiasm is genuine. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Damen has managed to mention your name about a hundred times in the last half an hour.”
 Damen flushes at that, suddenly busying himself with rearranging his textbooks.
 Laurent smiles. He can feel the heat travel across his face. “It’s nice to meet you too.”
 “I’m sorry for interrupting your study session.” Her voice is so sweet, Laurent thinks he could listen to her talk all day. “I was literally just walking past and saw Damen in here. I almost couldn’t believe it.” She turns to Damen and gives him in an assessing look. “It’s been what – six years?”
 “Fuck off,” Damen says, with little heat. “I don’t want to be reminded of how old I am.”
 Lykaios laughs at that. Her laugh is sweet too.
 Laurent says, “You guys will probably see more of each other now. You’re in the same course, right?”
 Lykaios beams. “Yep! Another weird coincidence.”
 “Or fate,” Laurent points out.
 Damen gives him a strange look. “Definitely just a coincidence.”
 “Ah, who knows the mysterious ways of the universe,” says Lykaios. She gives Laurent a wink.
 Laurent decides he likes her, despite the twisting in his gut.
 It’s why he says: “Did you want to stay and study with us? We were also going to grab some dinner afterwards. You could join us for that too.”
 Damen gives him another strange look; this one is brittle with disbelief.
 Laurent ignores it. He keeps his eyes on Lykaios, who smiles at him.
 “Thank you for the very kind offer, but I’ve already got plans tonight, I’m afraid.” She seems genuinely sorry, and it makes Laurent like her even more.
 “Maybe next time,” Laurent says.
 Damen frowns.
 Lykaios doesn’t stay too long after that; she claims she needs to start getting ready for her night out. When she leaves, she kisses Damen’s cheek. Laurent bristles a little at that.
 But his annoyance morphs into pleasantness when she hugs him goodbye – like Damen, she is very touchy, Laurent notices.
 As soon as the door closes behind her, Damen kisses Laurent, hard and open mouthed. It’s a terrible kiss; Laurent isn’t expecting it, and he almost topples backwards with the force of it. Then he starts laughing, so Damen’s mouth mostly meets his teeth.
 The second one is much, much better.
 “I’ve been wanting to do that for the past ten minutes,” says Damen. “Next time, kissing first, and then we move on to having a conversation.”
 “Shut up,” says Laurent. He pulls out his textbooks, trying not to laugh. After a few moments, he says, “She seems really nice. I can see why you liked her so much.”
 He imagines Damen at eighteen, maybe a little naïve and cocky, completely enamoured by Lykaios’ sweetness.
 Damen rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He squints at Laurent. “You’re not still hung up on that are you?” His mouth deepens into a smirk. He waggles his eyebrows. “Need me to prove my loyalty, baby?”
 Laurent flushes. It’s not the first time Damen has used that endearment – he mostly says it in bed – but it still catches Laurent off guard every time.
 His mouth is suddenly very dry. The only thing he can manage to say is: “Shut up.” And then he gets to work, smiling into his shoulder when Damen’s foot wraps around his underneath the table.
 *
 Lykaios’ Instagram is an explosion of colour: she likes wearing a lot of red and green and purple. Her entire profile is filled with her travels, charity work, her friends, and some shots of her eyelids coated in glitter. The more Laurent scrolls, the more careful he is not to like anything.
 There are plenty of pictures of her from high school; Damen is in most of them, fresh faced and youthful. It’s strange to look at: nothing about Damen is boyish, but these pictures prove otherwise.
 Laurent comes across a photo of Lykaios and Damen from six years ago. In it, Damen has his arm around her waist while Lykaios rests her head on his shoulder.
 The caption is: hbd to this guy aka my soulmate #finally18
 Soulmate, Laurent thinks. His mouth purses.
 Damen’s comment is the first comment. It reads: love u ly!
 Laurent puts his phone down.
 His thoughts come too fast: he starts to think of all the ways Damen and Lykaios fit together, how connected they seemed even after so much time apart. He thinks of how nice they looked together.
 Then, Laurent starts thinking of all the nice things Damen has done for him over the last few months. The duffel bag full of his favourite snacks comes to mind, as does the time Damen took him to a fancy restaurant when Laurent had averaged a high distinction last semester. Damen had even driven him almost forty minutes to the dentist once, even though he had an assessment due in the afternoon.
 Damen is always doing nice things for him, and Laurent realises, guiltily, that he’s never quite returned the favour. His own gestures have often been small and unnoteworthy; they’ve never possessed the grandeur of Damen’s actions.
 Laurent knows exactly how to change that.
 *
 Laurent isn’t the most forthcoming person. It takes him an embarrassingly long time to gather enough courage to message Lykaios on Instagram. But once he makes it past his awkward introduction – hey this is laurent in case you don’t remember me – to which Lykaios had responded ofc i do silly!, their conversations are light and easy.
The more Laurent talks to her over the week, the more he’s convinced of his plan. Lykaios is everything Damen needs and vice versa. It’s crazy how similar their personalities are: they’re both incredibly sweet, intelligent and interested in almost all the same things, from okton to hiking.
 The next week, Laurent invites Lykaios to his and Damen’s weekly lunch outing.
 Damen smiles when he sees him. He doesn’t lose the smile on his face when he sees Lykaios, but his eyes snap to Laurent’s in confusion.
 “This is a nice surprise,” he says, although his tone is dry.
 Laurent pretends not to notice it. Lykaios kisses Damen’s cheek in greeting and Laurent scratches at his chest as he sits down.
 Damen leans over the table to kiss him, but Laurent quickly picks out the menu and starts to read it, even though he’s practically memorised it by now. He doesn’t want Damen to kiss him now – especially in front of Lykaios – and ruin his plan before it’s had the chance to even formulate.
 When he puts the menu back, Damen is openly frowning.
 It disappears as Lykaios begins talking. The transformation is amazing; Damen is instantly captivated by her. Laurent swallows. This is good, he reminds himself.
 Laurent waits about ten minutes. He’s started to notice that even though Damen is laughing along to all of Lykaios’ jokes, he’s still shooting Laurent glances every few seconds.
 The question on his face is clear: why is she here?
 Laurent plays with his phone for a while. He tries to make it look like he’s texting something important; he keeps his brows furrowed in concentration.
 Laurent isn’t the best actor, but even he’s proud of himself as he lets out a small gasp.
 “What is it?” says Damen, instantly alert.
 “Nothing,” Laurent waves him off. “It’s just that I completely forgot I had a study session right now.” He stands up, grabs his bag. “I should go.”
 “Wait –” Damen’s face pinches. “You’re leaving?”
 “I’m sorry, but this is really important.” Laurent turns to Lykaios and smiles. “You two stay and have fun.”
 “But –”
 “Bye!” Laurent says it too enthusiastically, cutting Damen off. He walks out of the brunch place with hurried steps. He turns back at the end of the gravel path just to check if –
 His chest tightens with pleasure – yes, pleasure, although he’s not sure why it doesn’t feel like it – when he sees his absence has made little disturbance. Damen and Lykaios are laughing together, mouths open in delight.
 Over the next few days, Laurent organises more and more outings with Damen and Lykaios. Damen never seems to stop looking confused whenever Laurent invites Lykaios, but he also seems happy to see her, so Laurent counts it as a win. During each outing, Laurent manages to come up with a different excuse each time as to why he needed to leave early. Damen always looks disappointed. Laurent is weak for it; he can’t count how many times that look has almost made him stay, but he doesn’t, because it would be detrimental to his plan.
 Laurent makes sure to text Damen whether or not he enjoyed his time with Lykaios. Damen’s responses are pretty much the same every time: Yes, but it would’ve been better if you were there too.
 It frustrates Laurent. Damen isn’t supposed to still be thinking of him while he’s hanging out with his potential soulmate.
 Lykaios is the first to grow suspicious. She confronts him at the next outing. They’re in an idyllic little bar in the city, with a cosy atmosphere. It’s a perfect date venue.
 Damen heads to the bathroom, and Laurent stands up, ready to leave, when Lykaios stops him with a hand on his arm.
 “Laurent,” she says. “Is there a reason you keep depriving us of your company?”
 Laurent manages a sheepish smile. He wonders if he should say anything at all. Then, he decides he should: he feels like Lykaios would appreciate his directive.
 Laurent plays with the little sugar packets on the table. “I’ve been trying to get you and Damen to spend more time together. Alone,” he adds, when he sees her confusion.
 “Why?”
 “Well…” Laurent hesitates; he’s just now beginning to realise how awkward this is. “I think you two would be good together…romantically.”
 Lykaios raises her eyebrows.
 Laurent continues, fingers still fidgeting. “It’s just…Damen mentioned how much you two liked each other a few years ago. And I think Damen still regards you very highly. Plus, you two are so alike – I just think it makes sense.”
 Lykaios’ eyebrows don’t lower, but she casts a backward glance towards where Damen has disappeared to.
 “I can’t say I haven’t thought about Damen and I…” she begins, and Laurent’s gut twists with…relief? Yes, he’s sure it’s relief. It’s a good – great – thing that Lykaios is interested in Damen. “But I thought –” Lykaios pauses for a few seconds. “I mean, I was under the impression that you and Damen were together.”
 Laurent laughs, and then he realises she’s being serious. “You – no. We’re not. We’re friends.” Friends who spent a lot of time sleeping together, sure, but Laurent doesn’t think mentioning that now will do him any favours.
 Lykaios’ face instantly changes. Her smile takes up her entire face; it’s stunning. She’s stunning.
 Laurent shifts in his seat. He clears his throat. “So – you…you want to date him?”
 She flushes, and it only makes her look more beautiful. “Like I said…I’ve definitely thought about it.”
 “Oh – good. That’s awesome. Damen will be so happy.” He stands up. “So, I’ll leave you two alone?”
Lykaios nods. “Thank you, Laurent.”
 “Don’t mention it.”
 He turns around to leave. Everything in his body is screaming not to.
 He keeps reminding himself that he’s doing something nice for Damen: that Damen will appreciate the fact that Laurent set him up with someone like Lykaios, a brilliant woman he has a past with. His mouth is dry, and Laurent’s palms are suddenly sweaty. Briefly, he wonders if this is always what happens when people do nice things for another. If it is…he might have to limit his niceness.
 *
 Laurent doesn’t mean to start ignoring Damen’s calls or texts. It just happens. He isn’t in the mood to listen to Damen go on about Lykaios; Laurent already knows she’s amazing.
 He’s also confident that they’re dating now – or at least getting there. Lykaios posted a lot of snaps from the last night Laurent left them alone, and all of them had been of Damen smiling, drinking, smirking at the camera. They’d been there until three in the morning; Laurent knows because he’d stayed up until then, refreshing his Instagram feed to see any updates on Lykaios’ story.
 What had they even been doing for so long anyway? Damen had called him until eleven, before he presumably gave up. Had Lykaios pulled a move on him? Had they gone back to Damen’s room, fucked on his bed? Had Damen thought of how he’d fucked Laurent on that same bed just last week? Or had he been so consumed by Lykaios and her pleasantness that Damen hadn’t even thought of Laurent?
 Laurent had had the worst night of sleep.
 And then a few nights ago, Nikandros had posted an image of the football team hanging around at his dorm room. (Laurent vaguely remembers being invited to that). In the photo, Laurent’s eyes had immediately been drawn to Damen in the corner, his head bent down as he said something to Lykaios, who had been smiling widely. It had looked very intimate. Laurent had turned his phone off when he saw it.
 Alone in his room, Laurent lies on his bed, heart constricting. He should be happy for Damen. It’s frustrating him that he isn’t. And worst of all, he doesn’t know why.
 He thinks it might be because he’s gotten so used to having Damen around all the time. If Damen starts seeing someone, then he’d obviously start spending less time with Laurent.
 Laurent doesn’t want Damen to spend less time with him. If anything, they should be spending more time together. He only sees Damen about four times a week! That’s too little. Laurent should talk to Damen about that. He should tell him, Damen, even though you have a girlfriend now, I still want you to spend all your time with me, and I still want you to take me to fancy restaurants and then fuck me hard when we get home.
 Horrified, Laurent rolls over and screams into his pillow.
  *
 A few hours later, while Laurent is trying to clean out his desk drawers, there’s a knock on the door. It’s a rapid set of knocks, loud and urgent.
 Laurent frowns. He opens the door and his heart jumps when he sees Damen there, wearing a shirt Laurent had gifted him in the summer. Damen’s face is annoyed; it’s not an expression Laurent has seen often on Damen - and even rarely directed towards him. 
 Damen pushes past Laurent into the room. He takes up most of the space in it. Laurent’s heart still hasn’t calmed down. 
 “Tell me,” says Damen.
 “What?”
 “Tell me what I did wrong. I don’t like this passive aggressive bullshit.”
 “What?” Laurent says again.
 Damen crosses his arms in front of his chest. “You haven’t returned a single one of my calls or texts. You don’t want to hang out with me anymore. And I waited all night for you to show up to Nikandros’ and you didn’t.” When Laurent doesn’t say anything, he presses on. “Well? What did I do to piss you off?”
 “I – nothing,” Laurent shakes his head, shocked. “I’m not mad at you.“
 "Please,” Damen scoffs. “You -”
 "I’m not,“ Laurent says. “I was just giving you some space.”
 ”Space. Why?��
 "Well…” Laurent finds himself hesitating. “So you and Lykaios can spend more time together.”
 “Why the fuck would I want to do that?”
 “Um. She didn’t tell you?”
 Damen’s eyes harden. His mouth presses into a tight line. “Can you please just give me a straight answer?”
 “I’m – I’ve been trying to set you and Lykaios up.” Damen’s mouth drops open. Laurent quickly adds, “I talked to her about it and she said she’s been thinking of dating you too! So you know…” He trails off weakly.
 There’s a sudden, pressing silence. It engulfs the small space of Laurent’s room.
 In a very quiet, measured voice, Damen says, “What makes you think I would want to date Lykaios?”
 “She really likes you Damen. And I think you two would be a good match. I mean – you’re so compatible.”
 “No.” Damen’s voice is hard. “I meant: why the fuck do you think I would want to date Lykaios when I’m already dating you?”
 Laurent’s eyes widen. His breath stutters in his chest. There’s a strange ringing in his ears. “We’re not dating.” His voice is too quiet; he can’t bring himself to repeat himself any louder.
 Damen’s eyes bulge. It would be a comical expression if the atmosphere in the room wasn’t so deadly.
 “Not. Dating.” Damen repeats between his teeth. “You – You really believe that?”
 Damen’s mouth loosens around the edges. He looks like he’s received the worst news of his life.
 “I –” Laurent fumbles with his words. The back of his neck prickles with discomfort. “We’re friends.”
 “Is that what we are?” Damen scoffs. “My mistake, then.”
 Laurent still feels wrongfooted. It’s almost like he’s not even experiencing this conversation, just watching himself have it.
 “I don’t understand,” says Laurent. “I was just trying to do something nice for you. I thought it’d be good for you if you had a girlfriend like Lykaios.”
 “For fuck’s sake, Laurent.” All of Damen’s anger melts away. His tone now is sullen.  “I’ve literally been obsessed with you for the last six months – are you seriously just realising this now?”
 “I’m –” Laurent swallows. “But you’ve never asked me out or called me your…boyfriend.” His tongue dries up around the world.
 “I asked you out to Route all those months ago!” Damen says.
 “No. You said: ‘do you want to go out with me to –’” Laurent cuts himself off. Now that he thinks about it, he’s sure that Damen did ask him out on a date. He’d also said, I don’t usually do this on a first date while they’d been in bed together, hadn’t he?
 The realisation stumps Laurent.
 “Oh,” he says.
 Damen sits down on the edge of the bed, groaning. He buries his head in his hands. “Oh my god, Laurent. How can someone so smart be so stupid?”
 Laurent supposes he should feel offended by that. He isn’t, though, because he genuinely feels stupid.
 “You still didn’t make anything official.” Laurent says after a while.
 Damen looks up. “Fuck you.” His eyebrows furrow. “What was stopping you from asking me?”
 “Why would I say anything?! I thought you were only interested in fucking me!”
 Damen groans again. He sounds like he’s dying. “If that were true, then why would I –” He gestures around the room. Laurent knows what he means. He thinks of all the…dates Damen has taken him on, all the gifts he’s been given, the fact that Damen doesn’t leave his side when they go to parties together.
 Laurent closes his eyes. This is too much. He’s shocked by the anger that overtakes him – anger at himself.
 “I’m sorry,” he says. “I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.”
 Damen looks at him steadily. He gathers his thoughts. “Do you still think I should date Lykaios? Because you seem pretty invested in the idea and I –” Damen sighs. “I don’t want to – I don’t think I can be with you if you don’t feel the same as I do.”
 “How do you feel about me?” Laurent asks softly.
 Damen’s gaze is burning. Laurent is pinned beneath it. “Laurent, I love you.”
 Laurent gasps. It’s a soft sound, but in the stillness of the room it rattles against the walls. His throat closes.
 When a few silent moments pass, Damen sighs. He stands up, mouth drooping and fingers tense by his thighs. “Alright…That’s.” He stops. He gives Laurent a small nod. “I’ll just go then.”
 Laurent blocks his path with a shrill, “Wait!”
 Damen stops.
 Laurent’s fingers twitch. He wants to touch Damen. But he knows he should – “I don’t want you to date Lykaios. I don’t even know what the fuck I was thinking, alright? You just – you seemed so into her Damen, and I thought it would be nice if I did you a favour and set you up with her because you’re always doing nice things for me but then I got so sad and angry and confused every time you were together and then I felt guilty for feeling those things and I just –”
 “Okay, slow down,” Damen’s hands grip his shoulders.
 Laurent shakes his head. His chest is bubbling with all these emotions he’s refused to acknowledge. “I don’t want you to date Lykaios,” he repeats. “I want you to date me.” He pauses. “Only me.”
 Damen snorts. “Easy. I’ve already been doing that.”
 “I’m sorry I didn’t know,” Laurent says. His throat is still tight with emotion.
 “We’ll work on communicating better,” Damen says. He peers down at Laurent until their eyes meet. “I only want you, Laurent.”
 Laurent collapses into Damen. He buries his head against Damen’s chest, weak in his relief. He even sniffles a little, something Damen thankfully ignores. “I only want you, too.”
 Damen’s body loosens; he exhales and squeezes Laurent in his embrace. He kisses Laurent’s temple. “That makes me so happy.”
 “Me too,” Laurent says.
 Guiltily, he thinks of Lykaios. He remembers her excitement at the thought of being with Damen. Laurent needs to make it up to her, somehow, if she’ll let him. Maybe he could buy her flowers? Laurent has never bought flowers for anyone in his life, but he thinks Lykaios might like roses – unless that’s too romantic? Or maybe he could –
 “Hey,” Damen says, interrupting his thought process.
 Laurent looks up at him. Damen’s smile is radiant; it’s all white teeth and creased eyes. “Yeah?”
 “Do me a favour.”
 “Anything.”
 Damen kisses him. Laurent smiles into it as his entire body fills with an unparalleled warmth. He’s not sure if he loves Damen back…but he’s confident he’s getting there.
 Damen pulls back. He assesses Laurent with a stern frown. “Don’t ever do anything nice for me.”
 Laurent huffs. He hides his face in Damen’s chest again. “Shut up.”
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love-and-anarchy-au · 3 years
Text
Love & Anarchy: Chapter 17
hey yall. i wished i had something to say about this chapter but i dont. this chapter took my soul and sold it to the devil, so now im going straight to hell :’) (as it also gave me writer’s block and a precious mental breakdown). i cant say i hope you enjoy this chapter cause it isnt enjoyable at all. is a necessary chapter, so i hope you understand.
REMEMBER THIS AU HAPPENS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE THAT THIS ONE
Find out what this AU is about here
Masterlist
WARNING: this chapter includes death and violence.
Tag list: @healing-winston-pratt @dawniebb @obsidianfr3sk @nodrianbcyes @everyone-has-a-nightmare @magykaldealings @nobellrenaissance @cerenoya @cassin-the-assasin @cindersnightmare
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Words
11,550
Part 2: A teen named Ace Artino
16 years old Alec
See ya, Acey <3
    They had agreed to meet in Gatlon Park, in a hiding place where there was a strange copper statue. Alec was dressed in his usual, normal clothes (though people considered that style was rather formal), walking until he reached the park. It was nine in the morning and the sun was still not showing all its splendor nor giving all its warmth. It was Sunday, so there weren't many people circulating; Sundays were prodigy hunting days and people used to split into small groups of self-called Squads. They carried their nets, red bands and were dressed in gray. They knocked from door to door, asking if there were  prodigies in that house, and if they were not granted permission to come inside, then they would break the door down.
    Commonly, they were known as the Death Squads.
    Luckily for Alec, Alexandra, and James, the Squads specialized more in the Gatlon suburbs, given that inside the city people were so crazy that it didn't take more than one person to murder a defenseless prodigy.
    Well, maybe they weren’t lucky.
    No prodigy was.
    Alec sighed. He stopped at the corner of the block, before crossing the street, since the light was green and the cars were speeding by like a car race.
    The traffic light turned red.
    Alec was about to cross.
    About to.
    His senses, his telekinesis, felt something that was not far away. A metal box, rubber wheels, leather, cotton, more metal, plastic, cables, pedals, motor, gasoline...a car. This car was approaching at full speed, and it couldn't stop on its own. Alec could stop him, but it would reveal that he was a damn prodigy.
     So the car went by in  the  blink of an eye, without even having a chance to realize that the traffic light was red, for how fast it was going.
    Alec sighed again and crossed the street in a couple of long strides.
    Gatlon's park had an extension of five hectares, all lined with trees, wooden, plastic,  playgrounds made out of metal, statues, busts, concrete paths, and even a small  artificial lake. Alec, James and Alexandra did not usually hang out there, as it was where the majority of the prodigy burnings took place. James was the type of person who was capable of trying to stop a demonstration of the opposite party to his at all costs; that was the reason why Alec and Alexandra went to the park alone and hid in their place: the Valley of the Goddess of Heaven.
    How they had discovered this place was to the credit of Alexandra's spiders. Alexandra's power was to control spiders, see what they saw, hear what they heard. That  was  why  Alexandra precisely  knew what most did not. She knew where the best bars were. She knew the secrets of many. She knew the best corners of Gatlon’s park. And she decided to show it to Alec. Only him, because according to her, James would not be able to appreciate it.
    When they first went there, Alexandra only told him that she would see him in the Valley of the Heaven Goddess, and Alec understood absolutely nothing. While he insisted that Alexandra should give him a specific address, he only got mysterious smiles from her. He wished he were a telepath right now, but then he remembered his deceased sister, and her sunken shoulders and eyes, and he wished he weren’t a prodigy at all.
     Either way, what she did achieve was for them to go together, so, when they went to the park that time, they entered through the most inhospitable side of it , closer to the artificial  lake. Alexandra took Alec's hand and led him through the bushes, which hid quite a steep slope. They walked carefully down the slope, step by step, and found themselves in a small valley full of trees and bushes and a statue painted with green vines. Alec and Alexandra leaned back on the grass, confident, staring at the enigmatic hooded statue. Neither of them said anything; just before they left, Alexandra told him the story of the statue:
    “That statue is the Goddess of Heaven. It is ancient, more than a century old, and it represents a mythological goddess of a civilization native to these lands. The Goddess of Heaven held the stars and prevented them from falling on top of this civilization. They adored and benevolent her. When the conquerors arrived, they were moved by such belief and, before annihilating that civilization, they gave them this statue. Legend has it that this statue held a star, but the colonizers took it away. I come here every day, hoping that one day, the star will return to where it belongs.”
     It was not necessary to ask how Alexandra knew that story. Alec just nodded and later they went back to their mundane lives, step by step, smile by smile.
     Four years had passed since then.
     Now, he was seeing Alexandra for very different reasons.
     Unimaginable for the Alec of the past.
     Alec clenched his fists and slowed down.
     How were you supposed to explain your girlfriend that you didn't want to kiss her because the mere thought of someone kissing your lips made you nauseous?
    Well, he definitely wouldn't tell her that.
    Alec sighed for the third time. He had reached the main entrance of the park and was so immersed in his memories, that he did not even realize that they were setting a prodigy on fire. It was a sound, such an everyday act that it was often automatically silenced by Alec's ears. However, that did not imply that it wasn’t horrendous enough for Alec to start walking away from that crowd of people (who acted like animals).
    Then he heard it.
    He heard her.
    A scream, a shriek, a wail, a fine and sharp sword in Alec's heart, pierced the entire park, all the ears of those present around him.
    That scream could only belong to one person.
    The same one he had he was meant to see there.
    “ALESSANDRA!” Alec yelled, as he made his way through the crowd of humans / animals. He pushed, tripped and elbowed himself from the masses of people but he didn't care because he had to get to his beloved...
    There were many, many people and a lot of light and ashes and screams and...
    “ALEC!” Alexandra answered, with a raspy voice .
    In the center of that crowd, there was a large pole, fifty centimeters in diameter, and Alexandra was tied to it, hand and foot, like a witch. Beneath her feet (which were dangling) was a raging fire that wanted to consume everything, Alexandra included. The more people arrived, the more the fire grew, as these same individuals threw highly flammable items  to make the fire grow. Papers, gasoline, garbage, whatever. The flames were beginning to rise through Alexandra's clothes and skin and it would be a matter of minutes until the girl was just a piece of charred meat.
    They were burning her, they were burning her, they were burning her.
    “ALEXANDRA!” Alec shouted again, when he reached the front of the fire and was five meters from Alexandra, which was as close to the fire as allowed him to get. Alec started to sweat and gasp from the heat and the fact that he didn’t have the physical condition to run this fast.
    Alexandra made a guttural sound in response.
    “Go away, Alec! GO AWAY!” the girl snapped, gasping, as she writhed under the will of the flames. In her words you could feel the effort behind her pronunciation, Alec's will was breaking and breaking.
    “Alessandra…”  he whispered. There was no voice left to scream. He had fallen to his knees in front of the fire; people from the crowd who were not focused on the fire but on Alexandra, hit him with occasional kicks. Bang bang bang.
    He couldn't...couldn't ...couldn't save his beloved.
    He was just a telekinetic.
    Asking for help was an absurd fantasy.
    He...he...was to blame for all that.
    If only not ...!
    “Alessandra ... forgive me,” Alec pleaded, and looked at her in the eye. Alexandra was looking at Alec with lava in  her eyes, not angry but nostalgic. Her expression was exhausted and her mouth opened and closed as a fish out of the water, looking desperately for air. The fire was just touching part of her feet right now, but the pain was unbearable, according to what Alexandra’s expressions said.
    “Don't apologize for existing. Never,” Alexandra ordered with lots of effort and closed her eyes, while she rummaged with her untied hand for something in her right pocket. She hauled it out and tossed it at Alec, awkwardly but effectively.
    Alec caught it (with a very subtle aid of his powers, indistinguishable among that animal crowd) and treasured it in his hands. It was hot but not as hot as he expected. It was a cassette.
    “You're not the villain in your story, Ace,” Alexandra proclaimed, and Alec looked into her eyes again. Her voice was cut between gasps and insults from the crowd; in spite of that, the girl kept talking, with more difficulty as every second passed. “You weren't, you aren't, and you never will be,” she promised. The fire had almost destroyed all her feet and her voice had grown as strong as a house of cards, if it hadn't been before.
    “I love you, Alessandra,” Alec said, his voice as firm as his beloved's.
    “Ti amo anch'io, Ace Artino,” Alexandra Onitraze said without smiling but putting all her self on it, and shouted, with the last strength of her soul, with her whole soul, “FUCK Y'ALL, SUCKERS! WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL!”
    And that was the last incentive the crowd needed.
    A man threw (at least) five liters of gasoline on the fire without pain or glory but with a hundred tons of suddenness. The fire rose up the thirty-foot length of the pole, like snakes curling at breakneck speed over wood and Alexandra. The snakes scorched Alexandra completely, in a matter of seconds like a small and contained explosion. When the fire died down, Alexandra’s body was unrecognizable; her arms and legs were black and bloody, her face was just ashes and pain. She had no hair left, just a horrific image of what Alexandra Onitraze had been, and not even that. A putrid smell crept up Alec's nose and contaminated his lungs.
    Alec couldn't bear it: Alexandra's corpse (the frightful remains), the listless boos from the crowd, the smells, the hate, the memories, it was all too much; reason why he started crying 
    He was about to fall to his knees to the ground, but the crowd booed him and started kicking him outside, to the chorus of:
    “Be a man, faggot!”
    “It was a monster!”
    “Moron.”
    “Why are you crying? Aren’t you a real man?”
    “Are you crying over your whore friend? Sissy.”
    ”Look at her, she's a little girl crying because we saved her from her satanic doll.”
    “Pussy.”
    As people continued to insult, Alec wandered among the real monsters, oblivious to all their insults and profanities. For him it was unintelligible how these beings could hate their equals so much, their brothers. Prodigies were also human and Alec could not grasp how one human was capable of dismissing another as scum.
    However, despite the invasive toxicity of his environment, there was only room for two words in his mind and those were ‘Alexandra’ and ‘James’.
    One was dead and the other was still alive.
    Or so Alec believed.
    An unusual panic and despair invaded him with the worst thoughts.
     Speeding up his pace , he ran out of the crowd, thirsty for the knowledge that James was still alive, unlike Alexandra. His mind was colonized by many ‘What if? What if? What if?’.
    Alec had to see James.
    Before it was too late.
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