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pinkaditty · 3 months

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How will the TWST characters react to you having to leave? (Pt 1)

summary: Crowley had finally lived up to his promise. You were going to go home. All he needed was around a month to get the mirror set up for your return. Your eventual departure made each of the TWST boys turn into a ticking time bomb.

a/n: okay. so. i watched a tiktok today on my fyp. and i was inspired. i wrote this in hours and grappled with whether or not i should post it bc... well, i have a lot of requests piled up...! but, in the end i decided, why not? its my blog and ill do what i want with it. not to worry though, i am still working on your asks, i promise. i won't post part two of this (even though it's already written) until i've done at least 2 more asks, so no worries! i do see your requests, and i am working on them!

cw: creepy behavior (kinda), drugging, manipulation, and angst. i think that's all!! mc is mentioned but has no pronouns nor physical attributes mentioned.

minors... are actually allowed to interact with this post specifically. i don't mind it this time. NOT THE REST OF MY BLOG THOUGH. MINORS THAT INTERACT WITH MY NSFW POSTS WILL BE BLOCKED. thanks!

HEARTSLABYUL:

Ace:

He really has a hard time with it. Like, a really, really hard time. Once news reaches him, he almost can’t handle it. The anxiety that the thoughts of your departure cause will eat him alive. It will eventually get so bad that it prevents him from living in the moment, or enjoying his time around you. He falls into a depression, losing motivation to go on, keep living, or keep having fun. The wind has been taken from his sails. His grades slip as the weeks pass, but he can’t be bothered to care. He won’t show up anywhere unless it’s where you are. Despite his inability to enjoy anything anymore, he still spends time with you because, somewhere in him, he hopes you will be too attached to leave. He won’t do anything to damage, destroy, or hide the mirror, but when it comes down to it, he will plead with you not to leave right in front of the mirror on the day you are to go. He will also look the other way, should it end up mysteriously disappearing or broken. He refuses to be the culprit, but he will do everything in his power to make you stay, so long as it’s within the rules. Even begging. Please don’t go. You’re not all he has, but you’re all he wants. Please don’t leave him.

Deuce:

Recognizes the importance of family and knows what it’s like to disappoint them or be separated from them. He doesn’t want that for you. But at the same time, he considers you family. The real question is whether he will put himself and his feelings for you first, or if he’ll put you and your feelings first. He grapples with this a lot. He’s not selfish, and has no desire to be, but he found himself wanting to be selfish with you. He wants to keep you around, at least for a little while longer. A month is not enough. Whenever he passes by the summoning room, and sees that dreaded mirror, a rage awakens in him. The urge to return to his old ways burns within him, and for a moment, he can see himself punching the mirror, shattering it to pieces, forever ruining the chance you have to return home. But then he imagines the despair you will feel, and he is left with an empty hole in his heart. Should that mirror end up missing or broken, he will do everything he can to help fix it or find it. He knows he must let you go, and he will, but he will not be happy about it. He will clench his fists and mumble goodbye and try to act like it is all right. It is not. It is not alright.

Riddle:

He also recognizes the importance of family, but to a lesser degree. Rather values friendship and found family more, which is what spurs his desire to keep you around. You were a part of his found family, the one he desires to keep. Sure, he had to get used to having you around, but you had grown on him a lot. Far more than he wished to admit. His heart breaks at the news. What was he going to do? He’s uptight. Can’t bring himself to break nor bend the rules, so he won’t. Instead he puts on a mask and slightly distances himself. He acts pleased for you, happy that you have a way to return home, at last. The thought of sabotaging you doesn’t even cross his mind, but should he find out you have been, he will help you. He knows what is best. Come the dreaded day, when he watches you walk away, his heart will crumble. He will spill enough tears to create a river. He will not beg you to stay. He will not convince you. He will not do anything to prevent you from going. But he will cling to the sleeves of his ceremonial robes and bawl quietly. Why did his found family have to leave him all over again?

Trey:

His heart just sort of… sinks. It doesn’t hit him immediately, the despair of you leaving, but it approaches. When he finds himself baking sweets, and thinks of you, it hits him. When he finds himself scoring well in class, and thinks of you, it hits him. When he’s hanging in the Heartslabyul common room, and thinks of you, it hits him. It hits him over and over and over again until he can’t do a single thing without somehow connecting it to you and thinking about your eventual departure. He starts to spiral internally, despite usually keeping a cool head. Just the thought of you leaving will have him grip his pen so hard it snaps, pouring far too much sugar into his sweets and staring down at the ruined mixture, staring up at the ceiling of his dorm at night wondering how time continues to pass. He’s so far gone, so out of it, yet no one else seems to notice because they’re all so wrapped up in their own heads. He won’t beg, he won’t cry, he won’t plead, he won’t break anything, so long as it’s someone else breaking the mirror. But if you leave, the blood may rush to his head and he may find himself fainting, the shock of it all finally reaching him. Is this what loss is? What it feels like?

Cater:

No. Oh god, no. Immediately his spiral starts. He already knew he shouldn’t have become attached to you, knowing that you would have to leave. But the longer you stayed, the more he opened up to you. And the more he opened up to you, the more he liked you. You were Ramshackle dorm’s Prefect, or more like “perfect” if you asked him. There was something so fitting about you to him, and having someone leave all over again… At this point, he should be used to it. But he’s not. He never will be. He knew opening up was a bad idea, he knew indulging himself in this friendship would lead to nothing but despair, he knew, he knew, he knew. The guilt and anger at betraying himself and the building feelings he harbored for you eat him alive at night, and haunt him during the day. However, should that mirror end up broken, he won’t exactly do anything about it. If it doesn’t break, of course, he puts on a brave face, acts like everything’s normal, but he’s so far in his own head he doesn’t even realize how clingy and attached he’s become. He will act normal to the end, even wave a final goodbye as you leave, and will return to Heartslabyul like nothing’s happened. When he’s alone, the tears come. He cries harder than he’s ever cried before. Everything’s back to normal, but now he realizes he never wants normal ever again. Every day, he misses your chaos. Why can’t you come back to him? You were perfect, not normal.

SAVANACLAW:

Leona:

To hell with rules. This herbivore may not have been his favorite at first, but it’s not quite like he can imagine a life without them now. Instead of fear or sadness, he feels anger and entitlement. He should be getting what he wants. He’s a prince, for seven’s sakes. He may not be any type of inherent heir, but he had his rights, and the way he saw it, that also gave him the ability to do whatever he pleased. It’s not like you even spoke about your past a lot anyway, or the world you came from. It didn’t matter more than him and his need to have you nearby. Nothing mattered more than that. He soon hatches a plan to try and destroy that mirror; either through breaking it with his fists or turning it to sand, he would do it, and he wouldn’t care if you knew it was him. As long as you were here, by his side. If all else fails, he will prevent you from even approaching that mirror. He won’t kidnap you, he’s not crazy, but he might just block your way or try to convince you to reconsider. If you remain hard-set, he may become angry, but the more stubborn you are, the more the despair will finally grip him. He may even break down and beg, hoping that the humility of a prince will force you to feel guilt and regret. He could never have cared for an herbivore this much, but it was you. He can’t let you go. And if you really do leave, he won’t sleep at all for weeks.

Ruggie:

Will 100% act nonchalant about it, but on the inside he’s freaking out. He immediately goes into hyperdrive, and will do anything and everything to get you off his mind. He studies until his mind melts, stays after classes for extra tutoring, idles in the cafeteria, hangs out with friends, and whatever else he can possibly think of doing that means he gets to avoid you and the thought of you leaving. May even go as far as starving himself so he can think of food and water instead of you. Of course, this all fails because no matter how much he denies you, he still sees you. He still knows you’re around. He caves at long last when he cannot ignore your presence any longer. He goes to see you all the time, to make up for time lost. Every minute he can spare, he’s with you. Doesn’t think of breaking the mirror, but won’t stop Leona if he tries. He’ll look the other way, because just as badly as you may want to go home… he wants you to be here with them. If you do end up leaving, his heart will be empty as he watches you go. He won’t so much as hug you, but wave a weak goodbye and wish you well. He crumples in the time that follows and is a hollow shell of who he once was. It could’ve been different. You could’ve stayed.

Jack:

He’s an upstanding character. He has a moral compass and knows what is best. He is also stubborn and hard to sway. That said, every single day of the month that leads up to your departure, he finds himself standing in front of that mirror for some time, contemplating. He could break it. Technically, he could. He could just punch it and no one would be able to pin it directly on him, at least not immediately. That way, you would be here. You would have to stay. It may not be the best outcome for you, but he could be a shoulder to rely on. However, he shakes his head to rid himself of such thoughts and ends up scampering away from the mirror, lest his thoughts get the best of him. Every time he lays down in bed, he tries to resist it, but then he finds he can’t sleep. So he creeps around to the summoning room, looks that mirror head on, and battles with himself. In the end, he does not break it. He has a hard time not doing it, but in the end, he knows what’s best. He will inevitably run into someone attempting to sabotage you, but he will be far too caught up deciding what to do to stop them. He will inevitably fail to stop a sabotage, but the guilt will claw at him, and he will do all he can do to help. Should you go, he will feel happy that you are returning home, but squeeze you very tight for a little longer than usual. The tears will come when he is alone, contemplating on that mirror, staring at his fists and imagining if they were bloody and stuck with glass. What would have changed?

OCTAVINELLE:

Azul:

Is as cool as ever externally, but freaking out internally. He tries to play it off to himself as being concerned about outstanding debts, or bemoaning about less free labor, or even worrying about what will happen to Ramshackle if he can’t get his hands on it when no one but Grim resides in it? Oh, the horror…! Or, so he tries to say. In reality, he actually can’t stand to see you go. Sure, it hadn’t been very long, but you’d been through quite a lot together, and you had become quite reliable. It was nice having someone he could depend on, trust in, and enjoy one another’s company without the looming threat of becoming disinteresting, like Jade and Floyd. He’d actually come to like you. Perhaps more than that. Before long, he stops moping and starts thinking of ways to get you to stay. He even enlists Jade and Floyd’s help, fully aware they already have their own tactics in mind. He doesn’t care what works, he just hopes something will. He scribbles up contracts, some that would be appealing to you, and give you more benefits than him, but in small fine print reads: “Upon signing this contract, the signer agrees to remain in Twisted Wonderland for as long as the contractor sees fit.” He makes so many that you feel guilty turning him down. It gets to the point where he is begging and pleading with you not to go through that mirror. Not to leave them all behind. If it all fails, he collapses as he watches you go. He returns to his office and rips those contracts to shreds. It was all for naught. All for naught. For the first time in his life, he feels as though he’s drowning.

Jade:

Oh, he cannot let this happen. He cannot simply let you leave. Not when he’s grown so fond of you! He’s not letting you leave him behind. He puts on a brave face, as though he’s self-assured, but in truth, he’s shattered. He feels hopeless. Of course he knew you had a home, but he did not expect you to leave, so soon, and so quickly. Maybe he didn’t want you to leave at all. No matter though, this could be fixed. When Azul entrusts him and Floyd with similar tasks, he can tell that Azul is just as desperate to keep you here. They work mostly independent, but as long as something works, none of them mind which one’s plan did the trick. Jade uses his signature spell on you to pry the truth from you. When he finds that even the smallest part of you does want to return, he finds himself sinking. He must stop this, he has to. A twisted idea is born and soon enacted on the day of, when he encourages you to have a final meal he’s prepared. When you finally collapse, he takes great care to ensure that you won’t make it. But, should you be found and carried to the summoning room, assuming you are in a deep sleep, it will have failed. No surprise will show on his face, and when you finally wake to leave, he will nod and smile, wishing you well. His hands are curled into fists and he is boiling with anger. His room will soon be trashed and he will be shaking with rage. This could have changed. It could have all changed.

Floyd:

Little Shrimpy? Leaving him behind? No way! He’s already pouty about this, but somehow he is assured that you won’t leave. As though he trusts that whatever plan he puts into action specifically will stop you. This is why he is the only one seemingly totally carefree. For everyone else, the stress shows somewhere: in their eyes, in their expressions, in their hands, in their jaw, in their movements, in their behaviors… somewhere. But for Floyd, it just can’t be found. He is 100% carefree and confident that you won’t leave him behind. He intends to make sure of that, no matter what he must do. Of course, he does pout for show around you, complaining about how you have to leave, and might even blubber about it to earn your sympathy. When Azul puts him and Jade up the task of making you stay, he’s elated because he already has the ball rolling. You have to stay - no ifs, ands, or buts about it! And he does his best to convince you. He earns your guilt and remorse in every way he can, even popping up at the most inconvenient times to hang out so you can turn him down and he can pretend to feel bad about it. He lets the guilt fester in your heart, playing the long game. At last, when he’s certain he has you under his thumb, he waits until the day you are to leave. As you are stepping towards the mirror, he grabs your arm, looking at you with false pleading eyes, and begs you to stay. He watches the turmoil boil in your eyes, and almost feels that he has won. But if you ultimately tell him you have to go, he will go blank. His face will lose all emotion, and he will let go. In the coldest voice ever, he will murmur his goodbyes. And some time later, when he’s swimming through the cold, deep sea to get his mind off of everything, he will wish he didn’t have gills. He will wish he couldn’t breathe. He will wish he could drown.

a/n: wowie this was soooooo much fun!!! i totes forgot how much i ADORE writing angst ouuuugghhh!!! best thing ever awaaaaaa!! anyways, i hope you all enjoyed! leave a like, comment, or just reblog if you liked it!! please tell me how much you enjoyed it, i love catering to you all! shameless bit that i do adore asks just as well, so if you come up with a request, my asks are open! thank you!

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fallingdown98 · 11 days

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Shout out to Fantasy High Junior Year to get me to post original thoughts on here for the first time on years - Thought after Episode 15, The Last Stand, spoilers ahead

Based on what happened with Buddy, Brennan's callout of "what was loaded into that crossbow?", and Brennan saying in AP that killing Buddy was always on the table this is what I think Kipperlilly Clerickiller's plan was (Also ty Fandom I will be using this forever now)

1. Snuck in with Buddy when the Last Stand was being set up. (Saw some people questioning how she managed to get in, I truly think it's as simple as this)

2. Steal both Buddy and Kristen's diamonds to ensure no reviving can occur

3. I think the plan was to shoot the proctor with rage crystals, causing him to hulk out and depending on timing, no one to stop more monsters from arriving.

4. Based on where she was standing, I think the goal was to blame the crossbow bolt on Buddy and then leave still undetected with Oisin's prepped plane shift

4a. I still think Buddy dying was always part of the plan but I think the goal was to get the Bad Kids to have to ruin their own situation (Having to kill the hulked out proctor, seeing Buddy as an enemy and targeting him, being stuck because if Kristen had used her 7th level slot then they would at minimum be stuck for 8 hours assuming they all managed to survive if the monsters were still coming)

5. Theory here and we'll see if it proves correct but my immediate thought when Buddy died was that KLCK is planeshifting to the Celestial plane and hoping to use Buddy to sneak into Sol's office like when Aguefort snuck in through Kristin's backpack

6. Once in Sol's office, she would be where YES! Was originally created and the reason Bakur supposedly failed his ritual is that he needed to be in a place where a god had been created in order to rez a God.

7. Chaos ensues when corrupted Ankarna is brought back

8. Profit??? I guess??? Tbh the exact reasoning of the Ratgrinders is still the most elusive thing to me. I think my current most likely thought is that Jace is serving as manipulator and that KLCK is the most "lost in the sauce" as it were what with her pre-established anger issues.

Since we only saw a hand I'm reserving judgement on Oisin as he may have only been aware of his part of the plan and not the rest of what Miss ClericKiller has been up to. Not attached so I'm also down for him to be full evil but I'm just not sure yet.

Another thought I had is that the Ratgrinders may yet mirror the Bad Kids not just in class, but also in personal problems.

Ruben and Fig both having identity crises but Ruben has isolated himself so much he's turned to being a lackey

MaryAnn just doing what she's doing because she's good at it, not because it's something she's passionate about

If Oisin's dragon relative is evil and he's going along with the plot because of that, that would mirror Adaine breaking away from her own evil parents

Don't know enough about Ivy to have thoughts on her really, buddy and Lucy could probably be their own post tbh, and as I can't get a lock on Kipperlilly.

Jawbone seemed convinced she was just misunderstood and jawbone usually has a pretty good read on people. But then she's smiling while murdering Buddy and teleporting away. Why does she hate Riz specifically? Is it something he did or is it more generic jealousy (or a crush but I don't care for that theory personally and doesn't feel super supported currently)?

What's the deal with the rage soil and how did they place a rune of Ankarna's name on Yolanda/Lucy if it was unknown at that point?

Anyway, feel free to reblog or tag with thoughts, I'm so excited to unravel more of this mystery.

#fhyj #fhjy spoilers #rat grinders #bad kids #d20 #riz gukgak #kipperlilly copperkettle #oisin hakinvar #ruben hopclap #mary ann skuttle #buddy dawn #fhjy theory #adaine abernant #kristin applebees #Ankarna #the last stand

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princessozera · 22 days

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so, random thought, there's a good chance the demon bros inadvertently harmed mc in some capacity just because human and demon limits are so vastly different, and the main human any have had contact with is Solomon, whose humanity is somewhat debatable. mc might act like they're invincible, but they are human in the end, and human durability is largely that we can keep going after almost any injury, not that we don't get injured

like Lucifer strings them up as he would his brothers, forgetting (assume he's really tired or stressed or whatever) that doing so puts a lot of pressure on the body and can cause actual damage instead of just being annoying like it is to his brothers. depending on how exactly he ties them up it'd change the effects but it's never gonna be great for them

Mammon running away from shenanigans with them and he tugs on their hand a bit too hard and fast to get them safely around a corner and dislocates their shoulder in the process because force = mass x speed and Mammon is a speedy boy. or he's running from Lucifer and slams into them at top speed, and if they can't protect their head from the wall/floor you know Mams is freaking out because mc is all out of it and there's so much blood and he doesn't care how Lucifer punishes him as long as he makes sure mc is alright

otaku Levi with his nonexistent sleep schedule doesn't realise just how badly sleep deprivation affects humans. paranoia, weakened immune system, depersonalisation, all the way to sleep deprivation psychosis. you go 96 hours or 4 days without sleep and lemme tell you, you ain't properly attached to reality anymore. been there, done that, would not recommend. there were bugs crawling all over my arms and legs and shadow people whispering. fucking sucked, and I was constantly shaking so I kept dropping stuff

if anyone knows about human durability, at least in theory, it's Satan, but the avatar of wrath can be emotionally charged. he really didn't mean to hurt them, but he was trying so hard not to lose it that day and as he led mc out of his room so they wouldn't be caught in the inevitable explosion, his deadly sharp claws nicked their skin. the wounds were mostly superficial— hurt like a bitch but no major arteries were damaged— but there was quite a lot of blood and Satan felt sick in a way he never had before. humans scar easily, a useful trait to close open wounds quickly, but Satan hates that he was the cause of those raised lines

Asmo is probably best at remembering since he hangs out with Solomon and has had human lovers before, but he is mostly around Solomon who cannot die. so he doesn't always remember what is and isn't toxic for humans, especially since a lot of poisons are used in medicines at lower doses and a lot of things we need to live are poisonous if we consume enough. it'd only take one slip up to put mc in hospital, and of course they don't blame him but he begs Satan to teach him as much as he can so it never happens again

you know Beel would try his best to remember, and he'd feel horribly guilty if he ever hurt mc, but he's big and strong even by demon standards and can eat anything that isn't Solomon's cooking. there's a few ways this one could go— sharing food with them that's toxic to humans, hugging them a bit too hard, mc giving him their food and going hungry, they work out together and they get hurt... take your pick

and Belphie knows all too well how fragile mc is, so he's very careful with his demonic strength around them. he already killed them once with barely any effort. but one day he wakes up from napping with mc to find he held them too hard and they're bruising. maybe his arm curled around their neck as it bloomed black and blue once again. Belphie doesn't nap with them for a while after that

! ANON! 💕💕💕💕

I don't know how you sniped me from across the highway but whump/injuries are exactly my cup of obsession and I've thought about this forever- i just never really had enough to make a full post. I LOVE your ideas and I hope you dont mind me bouncing some of my own off them;

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Lucifer and his funny little habit of hanging his brothers 💕 Say he takes pity on MC, makes sure they're right side up, nothing around the neck and only tied beneath the arms and around the legs. Plans to take them down in 5 minutes, really it was meant to be the pet equivalent of air jail. But a call here, difficulties there and 5 minutes turn to 10 and then it slips to 15. It's so little time, absolutely nothing compared to the nights he's left Mammon up over the banister.

So why are there screams in the hall? Why are Asmo, Mammon and Levi on the phone with Solomon, Barbatos, and Simeon respectively? He doesn't understand why they don't immediatley drop MC down, only catching the tail end of Solomon explaing something called "suspension trauma" to Asmo. When they do get MC down, even from a distance he can see the color is almost completely gone from their face, while their legs are a few shades darker. He watches Satan mouth out the count for MC's pulse, quick and staggering. When MC wakes, they can't seem to take a proper breath- gasping, clutching their chest, tearing up and confused. There isn't much more any of them can do, other than stand back and hand MC over to Barbatos and Solomon.

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In a movie, it would be considered slapstick comedy, the way that Mammon skid around a corner full speed, carpet pulling under his feet , hip checking the wall as he ran away from Lucifer. In a movie it would be hilarious they way him and MC crashed, sending them literally flying back, head bouncing off the wall, swirls in their eyes and stars dancing around their head. In a movie they would only need to shake it off and get up to yell at him, with Lucifer standing back and watching in smug satisfaction.

But there wasn't anything funny about this, MC slumped in his arms, blood turning his tshirt into a darker shade of black, making it tacky and stick onto his skin. They're awake, sort of? But their pupils aren't the same size, and the speech is slurred. There's a truce as Lucifer heals MC, and they get them to a proper doctor.

Mammon gets better at ducking and weaving around MC, it even helps him evade Lucifer better. But MC doesn't escape the dislocated shoulders, and unwanted popping of their knuckles when Mammon holds their hand too hard. Neither had known that after the first dislocation, its a lot easier to dislocate your should again. It's never intentional, but it always hurts- MC tries to breathe through it if there is an urgency, but Mammon catches the way they pointedly look away, trying to blink the tears away, and knows that he's- once again- failed to keep MC out of harm.

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Levi being MC's energy drink dealer. He doesnt know why they dont but their own, but he has plenty so he ultimately doesnt mind sharing. They're not attached at the hip so he doesnt see how little sleep MC is getting, a single can carrying them through 2 whole days. They know its time to 1-up again when their heart stops sounding like helicopter blades.

He finds them on the floor of their room, rubbing their arms raw with the hard bristle brush Asmo uses to buff his horns, babbling incoherently to themselves.

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With Satan the physical is NEVER intentional, as much as he used to rage in the early days of the fall, the thought of hurting MC didn't sit well with him. But tiny nicks are so easy to cause when even his regular nails are sharper than a humans'. If MC can keep their reactions subtle, it wont be until Satan is laying in their lap that he notices the "freckles" on their arms don't quite lay flat.

When you're used to fast reflexes, you don't think twice about slamming a door in someone's face. Someone (MC) who was too close and now has a broken, bloody nose. Now whenever the snore in their sleep, or their nose whistles when they laugh too hard, Satan remembers opening the door to MC doubled over, blood leaking from between their fingers as they tried to put pressure on the bridge of their nose.

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Dosage and concentration.

Asmo is vaugely familiar with these terms- SPF strength, alcohol proofing, acidity in his skin care. He's had so many spa nights with Solomon that he doesn't think twice about sharing his skin care routine with MC as well. Powders, gels, creams, exfoliants. Some a bit too harsh, MC's skin turns warm and flush, so he thinks their skin is sensitive. He'd ask for help caring for his wings and horns. MC goes in with their bare hands to get a good scrub, attributing the burn to the rough edges and upturned edges of Asmo's horns. It feels like icyhot, so it must be working. When they're done, Asmo tries to take the rest of the cream off their hands to apply to his hands, but they both scream as a visible layer of skin from MC starts peeling off as well. The acid having fulling numbed and killed off most of the senses in MC's hand, had started to deteriorate the skin, and its by some small blessing that MC hadnt already applied it to their face. It takes a panicked called to Solomon to get the feeling back into MC's hands, but it still takes weeks for the skin to grow back on to their hands. The pain of bandages on raw muscle is excruciating, and Asmo sticks to them like glue, fully taking the blame for their condition.

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Beel and Belphie have another trauma to share as twins- nearly killing MC in their sleep! Beel doesnt understand how heavy an unconcious body can be, and being as large as he is, this becomes a problem the first time him and MC share a bed. He falls asleep with an arm draped over them, but exhaustion from practice has him rolling on to them. Even if not entirely covering them, the weight on their chest makes it hard to breathe and MC soon drops nicities and is trying their damnest to get him off or at least wake him up. Its a panicked use of the pacts to call another brother that saves them, and Beel cant sleep for the rest of the night.

Belphie doesn't have as many night terrors these days, but they can still get bad. Usually sleeping with MC can keep these dreams at bay, but on nights that they dont, he wakes up to find MC tossed onto the floor or squeezed between him and the wall. On the worsts of these nights, he woke up to MC screaming, having wrapped a hand and tail so tightly around their arm that it shattered in 2 places.

(Can I also offer a beel and belphie alternative: MC wanting to match Beel's stamina/ gym workout time and getting muscle deterioration. Belphie wanting a sleeping partner so he messes up their sleeping cycles, 10+ hrs asleep, accidentally depriving them of light, water, and food, causing a depressive episode)

#ozera talks back #anon i am proposing #/j #obey me shall we date #long post

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mandos-mind-trick · 9 months

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I'm forever grateful for this fandom

I've been meaning to post something like this for a while. I debated doing it during my next follower milestone (which is very close) but today just felt right.

I've been in a funky place these last few weeks due to a lot of things going on, and this time of year is always a struggle for me. I'm feeling better now, putting aside how today makes me feel, and some things have happened that are going to continue to make things improve slowly but surely.

Today marks twelve years since my mom's death. She died of colon cancer, which the diagnosis for came on rather suddenly and traumatically (that's a story in itself) and she fought for two years before finally succumbing to it on August 14, 2011. I was only 15 when it happened, sitting across the room from her when she took her last breath.

She and I were very close. I was a surprise child, born about 20 years after my siblings so I was raised as an only child. My mom was everything to me since my dad took on the more stereotypical gender role of working all day. (I was close with my dad but not nearly like I was with my mom.) My mom was the glue that held our family together and her getting sick and then ultimately passing really took its toll on my family, and me.

My mom was the one that introduced me to Star Wars. She loved the movies. She went and saw the original trilogy when they came out in theaters, and she instilled that love into my siblings and I. I still remember the day when she finally let me watch The Phantom Menace. I think it sticks out to me because if you had known her, you wouldn't have thought Star Wars would be something she was into. We went and saw the two remaining prequel trilogy movies when they came out in theaters and even the Clone Wars movie (the last one to come out before she got sick) and it was just so special that we shared this thing as a family that we all loved.

I didn't watch Star Wars for ten years after she died.

I rebuked anything and everything that had to do with Star Wars. Every new movie, every new show that came out, all I could think was how much she would have loved it (even the sequel trilogy.) I tried so hard to hate Star Wars because every time I saw anything related to it, it just brought up all those horrible feelings. The pain and grief of losing my mom and in a way I felt like I was betraying her because she'll never get to watch Star Wars again.

I don't really know what changed my mind. I honestly couldn't tell you what switched, what caused me to risk dipping my toe back into the world of Star Wars. Maybe it was all the Baby Yoda memes.

I decided early last year that I was going to watch The Mandalorian. It felt like a safe place to start since there were no emotions attached to it like other things. Also, I've been in love with Pedro since Game of Thrones so that also helped. Watching it, it didn't really feel like Star Wars, but at the same time, it reignited the feelings I used to get watching it with my mom. It took me a long time to watch the first two seasons (the only two that were out a that time) but I'm glad I did it. I went back after I finished those and rewatched the prequels and decided I was going to watch the Clone Wars show. I never really got into it when it was on TV, since I was reaching that stage of pubescence where I was trying to distance myself from anything that felt too childish.

Well, long story short, here I am now. The Mandalorian helped me ease myself back into the world of Star Wars, and the Clone Wars dunked me in head first.

I still think about it, I still think about her when I watch things. It's less painful now and more bittersweet. There's a sense of melancholy underneath everything that just kind of sits there. It never goes away, but sometimes it gets buried enough I don't feel it.

I certainly don't regret coming back to Star Wars. I certainly don't regret getting involved in the fandom side of things. When I decided to watch Star Wars again, I was sort of flailing between fandoms. That awkward spot when you leave one and have to find something else to occupy your every waking (and sleeping) moment. I had just left Marvel due to a toxic friendship (that's a whole other thing in itself) and had briefly jumped into Kpop (I still love Kpop but yikes at the fandom side.) I needed something and Star Wars decided to be that thing.

I didn't plan on getting so involved with the clones. I originally started this blog as a Mando blog (hence the name) and my first Star Wars fics were Mando fics. A lot of them have never seen the light of day and probably won't and that's okay. I hadn't realized, even when I first started getting into the fandom, that there was such a community centered around the clones. I remember when the Clone Wars movie came out, I desperately searched for any fics related to the clones, and there was nothing. So to return fourteen years after searching to find an entire fandom based around the clones...it was a bit unbelievable.

I'm so glad I found this place and eventually became active within it. Y'all have helped me more than I can ever say. I went from debating quitting writing entirely to enjoying it again. I'm writing like I did seven/eight years ago. It no longer feels forced, like I'm forcing myself to write so I don't lose my ability. I like what I'm writing. I'm proud of it. Y'all have helped me get over the impostor syndrome, the hatred I used to have for my writing. I can look at my works and feel confident in them because I know that they're good and I believe that they're good. That confidence and positivity has translated into other areas of my life. I still struggle sometimes, I still question myself, but it's never to the end of "I should quit because this is utter garbage" anymore. (When I say my writing is trash now, it's coming from a joking place, not a serious one.)

A lot of that growth has come from me and the work I've been doing, but you all have had a hand in it. I'm so grateful for all of you, from the silent readers to the dedicated commenters. You've helped me in so many ways. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how bad things get. I may have to take breaks but I'll always come back here because I have a reason to. You're stuck with me for the long haul.

I'm so glad I found my love of Star Wars again. I'm so glad I decided to engage in this fandom space. You're all so special to me and I love each and every one of you and I am so thankful for you. I can only continue to repay you with my writing and my unhinged thots.

#this is really long i don't blame you if you don't want to read #just know i love every single one of you #tw illness and death #also grief

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coffinsister · 2 months

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Hi there!

I just wanted to let you know that I'd never heard of Saya no Uta until I saw you talking about it on my dash and I was like hey I'll look into that!! I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and it was definitely an experience. I've only played the route of choosing Saya and choosing to call Ryoko, so I still have to make the other choices to view all of the game's content, but I just wanted to come say thank you for giving me the second controversial piece of media I've been able to consume without my ocd throwing a bitchfit, because the whole story is fascinating from a psychological standpoint and that definitely drew me in.

I just wish the story was a little more 3D, I guess? Like the writing is overly descriptive of things it doesn't need to be descriptive of and underwhelming with the actual voiced dialogue. It's an extremely bizarre contrast. And from what little Japanese I've learn over the years out of SpInterest there are some translation points that aren't entirely accurate.

A big one is the fact that Saya speaks in third person which is a common cutesy mannerism for small children in Japanese media. In fact, she speaks super similarly to Maria Ushiromiya from Umineko ( complete with using 'uu!' for emphasis too ) which caused me to attach quickly to her for it. While it's true that this doesn't translate well into English, it does lose in translation just how young Saya really sounds while speaking. Because in Japanese she's saying things like 'Saya did this for Fuminori because Saya wants to be with Fuminori forever!' and it's getting translated as like 'I did this to make you happy. So you'll stay with me forever, right, Fuminori?' and those are two completely different tones. In fact, it's so overlooked from the English translation that this trope of hers isn't even mentioned on the The Song of Saya tvtropes page and that's wild to me.

Sorry, I didn't meant to turn this into a rant in your inbox asjklhd. Thank you for bringing this intriguing piece of media to my attention. 💖

Hiii, I'm so sorry for taking so long to reply to this ask but it was lovely getting it, so please don't apologize! We love getting long asks, and talking about our interests <3 And I'm really happy me basically screaming into the void about it, got you into it! That's great, that's exactly why I post about the things I like.

This was very interesting to read so thank you for sending it.

Side Thought: TV Troupes actually really really sucks for this kinda thing, it is widely innacurate with big media, and incredibly lacking for small media. So personally, I would not chuck TV Tropes lacking this as much to the (very bad, like super bad) official translation, as much as I would to the site just kinda sucking.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, the website is fun, like any other wiki is, I just have personal beef against it, do not mind me, old man yells at cloud.

The first route I finished was also the one with Ryouko, and tbh, in my opinion that's the best one, but obviously seeing the other endings gives a lot of extra information, and character depth, so I hope you play through them and enjoy them too.

And yeah, I feel you, I wish it was more 3D and that I could have cared more about the characters, the writing definetly feels too much like purple prose, and way too descriptive about meaningless things sometimes, while also compeltley glazing over others.

Also big big same about the translation, I already posted my long rant about it, but it's really such a shame, because Nitro+ is actually so good at conveying character through dialogue, like actually reading some of the VNs in Japanese is a whole new experience on its own

And exactly as you said, it would have been far easier to understand Saya is a literally preubecent child if the translation had shown how childishly she actually speaks, or another big one, we would have gotten to see more of just how badly Fuminori wants to show off in front of Saya and Yoh, if the translation had actually shown him avoiding being fully honest with Saya.

Like there's so so many moments in Japanese of him just going, Well, about that, you know... to Saya when she's asking him about their plans together, and he's very reluctant to ask her for help, even when he really needs it, until she blatantly offers it, and he takes it.

In the Official English version he literally just goes "Well, the thing, Saya is that I failed to kill Koji, any ideas about that?"

So much character missed there, I feel like also missing the honorifics isn't helpful or good, like Yoh calling Oumi, Oumi-chan makes them feel way way closer, than just college friends who hang out between classes. And it gives you a better sense that they care for each other.

My hot take about translations is that they shouldn't just accomodate to what's most familiar to the target audience, in this case USA people, it should just make the media more accesible. It isn't a failure of art if it is a bit of a struggle to engage with it, it's good to make an effort to try to understand foreign art, even when the way the text is presented, isn't super familiar or relatable to you.

This is basically what everybody who isn't from an English speaking country already does lol

#The first few people I met who had played tcoaal way back in the day got into it from me posting about it on a different sideblog and it #means so much to me to this day I wanna keep sharing what I like so maybe other people will like it too #I apply the same mentality to reblogging art and fics #I have actually never read Umineko I need to get in on that either way it's always lovely to see you around and I'm always up for #chatting about my silly little vns :)#soleil asks #saya no uta #longer answer to long ask

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kafkaoftherubbles · 8 months

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Does Fushi's Ability to Revive People Ruin The Story? // 不死的复活能力是否崩坏了故事的世界观与主题？

I wrote a whole essay by accident while musing about someone else's question on Discord. I decided to post the stuff here, too, as a record for future versions of me.

I think the revival ability introduces new contemplative angles to a story about life, death, rebirths, and living forever.

The theme of immortality, as well as death and grief, are not new. A lot of them ended up being cautionary tales, and a lot ended up being about the inevitability of death and mourning, too.

Though many of these stories are also interesting and thoughtful, I also think they are very thoroughly explored. It's hard to spin new ideas out of molds that have existed as long as humans had begun telling stories to each other. What can you say that hasn't already been said?

So I think that's where Fushi's revival power really works. Instead of the themes and ideas most of us have likely gotten used to, Oima added a rarer angle to her exploration. In fact, she kinda subverted the idea that Fushi was "just an immortal being who could kinda create things" and revealed to us that they had always meant to be a Creator-in-Training. Immortality is just one aspect of his "conditions".

On the other hand, I think one of the reasons why a good few people don't like this revival/resurrection thing is because it betrays a certain expectation of the story--at least, according to what I've seen from detractors.

Seems like a lot of people hopped into the story because it started out "tragically beautiful." It's got this thing about life and death from the eyes of an immortal, and so it's easy to immediately assume certain expectations based on previous similar stories: the pains of being an immortal, the tragic cycle of life and death, the loneliness of those left behind, etc.

But, honestly, the idea that death is "final" and "irreversible" was already shattered when "rebirth" was introduced. I suspect it was less of a point of contention because rebirth introduces angles that are still congruent to people who wanted to read about "the tragic beauty of life", as well as being somewhat familiar in pop culture. In Hinduism and Buddhism, for example, attachment is what causes reincarnation (former) and rebirth (latter). Hayase's rebirths are basically that—attachment-caused. It also sets up a mortal foil (as opposed to immortal foil, i.e. the Nokkers) to Fushi, and flows into a story of Hayase+Left Hand Nokker's karma/lives intertwining with Fushi's.

However! When "revival" was introduced, there are a lot more people who didn't like it or are hesitant. It completely breaks any expectations they had for this story. Death becomes less of a finality and more of a choice. The immortal now has a bunch of immortal friends--not even in the rebirth/reincarnation way, but as "themselves." If the story isn't gonna be about Fushi grappling with the biggest philosophical questions on life and death, then what can they still grapple with as the story goes on? It probably feels like a thematic betrayal to the detractors, right?

Someone on the Discord group also pointed out a real good point: it made some viewers/readers wonder why they shed their tears and grieve when these people came back in the end. Maybe there is a sense of emotional devaluement?

In my opinion, the Present Era answered the question of "What can Fushi still grapple with?". Instead of grappling with issues of death and life's grand tragedies, Fushi is now forced to grapple with life's details. For example: how do you love? The fuck is love?

Do relationships and companionships—no matter how much impact and weight they possess when you have them—still wane and end, even if the people's physical death is out of the question? What happens if people "move on"? What happens when people "don't need you anymore"?

What sort of outlook on life should one form—how does one know if it's right or wrong?

What is a perfect life?

I think the revival ability allowed these newer themes to surface, and be framed in novel ways. It also works well because a good few characters used for these themes are Fushi's revived friends, with all that history entailed. It also makes for an interesting comparison to the latest Hayase-styled rebirth in the Present Era, because she is an extension of Kahaku to the present and inherits all that karmic conditions, and yet unlike Fushi's revived friends who are "themselves", she is also her own slate and not-Kahaku. And of course, the new dance with them Nokkers...

But people who wanted to see TYE for bigger philosophical questions could find these musings too small and banal. I kinda sympathize with them. This ain't what they believed they were promised.

Ultimately though, I hope the detractors can get to terms with the shake-up and read the story through another lens, or adopt a different idea of what this story is about. The way I interpret it from the get-go is that To Your Eternity has never been (just) about death or "the beautiful tragedy of life". I thought it has always been about the struggles of being human. A Creator, a Creator-in-training, supernatural alien-souls, people who are born in bad times, people who are dehumanized as monsters, criminals and their offsprings, people who are raised in messed-up families, robot dolls... All of them are unified by this same quest.

Hence, I personally don't feel thematically betrayed because it stays true to this backbone. In fact, I'm happy that its exploration diversifies.

Thank you for reading my ramble.

#fumetsu no anata e #to your eternity #to you the immortal #manga spoilers (light)#tye #fnae #another garrulous one

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fiona-fififi · 3 days

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @spotsandsocks. Thank you for the tag!!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

What's your total Ao3 word count?

250,243 words

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only 911. In the past, Supernatural, Shameless, Bones, and BtVS.

Top 5 fics by kudos:

Breaking News

The jury's out, but my choice is you

On the Outside

say (don't) go

Believe in one thing, I won't go away

Do you respond to comments?

Honestly, no. Trying to respond stresses me out. It can take me literally hours to figure out how to respond to a single comment, and then I feel like, if I respond to one, I have to respond to all immediately, and my anxiety can't handle it. So I've mostly stopped responding. Every now and then, I will respond to a friend because I don't stress over those, or if someone makes a weird comment where they seem to have misunderstood something I might respond to try to clear things up.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

For 911, honestly, I don't think I have any angsty endings. Plenty of angsty fics, but most of my endings are happy or at least hopeful. I guess I would maybe say the one with the angstiest ending is Believe in one thing, I won't go away, but the end is still pretty hopeful.

Outside of 911, the angstiest ending was definitely in a little Supernatural fic I wrote many years ago titled The Things They've Left Behind. It's also one of fics I'm proudest of. But it's a rough one.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Honestly, there are quite a few happy endings to my fics, but I think say (don't) go takes this one. It's a little angsty through the main story, but the epilogue is just pure fluff.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not often, but once or twice. More often than hate for the fic, I get sort of weird hate comments about side characters in the story. Like, I'll have a fic where Taylor Kelly is kind of in the background, but not in any way written hatefully or even negatively, and people will just go off on the character in the comments, which is weird and not a great look. Don't do this, y'all.

I did once get a hate comment accusing me of villainizing Eddie based on the summary alone, I believe. I responded, and they apologized, which I appreciated. But I will never understand people's need to toss around accusations without even reading the actual fic.

Do you write smut?

I have in the past, but not recently. I really have to be in a very specific mood to write smut, and often I just cannot tap into the focus I'd need for it because I generally find writing smut boring. So it takes me forever to actually finish anything even a little bit smutty. I've had a post vow renewal smut fic in the works since the vow renewal aired, and I just can't get it together.

So. Often not my cup of tea as a writer.

Craziest Crossover:

Okay, I don't have this posted on Ao3 (I think it's on ff.net?), but I once wrote a series of Sam Winchester/Temperance Brennan fics. Those were fun times.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. I had a couple of fanvids stolen back when I vidded for Bones, but never fics, I don't think.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think someone asked once and may have done the translation? I can't remember if anything ever came of it, though.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. I don't have the focus or discipline to co-write with anyone. I would immediately lose focus and cause everything to go off the rails, and I would never want to do that to someone else.

All time favorite ship?

All time? I don't know. I really want to say buddie, but also, like Mulder/Scully and Sam/Dean. Honestly, I tend to be just very, very attached to my ship of the moment, so answering for all time is tough.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably this Natalia finds out about Chris fic because I keep accidentally fogetting it exists, which. is hindering progress.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don't know. I think maybe emotional scenes or angst?

What are your writing weaknesses?

A lot. Focus is the worst. I just don't really have it, and it makes writing near impossible. I also don't think I'm any good at scene transitions or dialogue sometimes.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I wouldn't personally do it because I don't have enough of any other lanuage to feel comfortable with it. I might use a word here or there if the character uses it regularly and I feel generally comfortable with the context and/or translation. I also don't love when people drop in dialogue or things in other languages and admit to just using google translate because that feels. not great.

I also don't think it should be translated in the middle of the fic. Sometimes, it's okay to not understand every single word of a fic, and people who speak and write in other languages shouldn't have to translate every word for their readers over a couple of lines in another language. Which might be a weird take, but that's where I stand on it, I think.

First fandom you wrote in?

Like, in my little notebooks before the internet was a thing in my house, it was The X-Files when I was like 8-11. That I posted in a fandom I actually interacted with, I think it was BtVS.

Favorite fic you've written?

This one's kind of a toss up. For 911, I think it's probably one of the following:

I got nothing to believe (unless you're choosing me)

say (don't) go

You were bigger than the whole sky

Home

I know I should narrow it down more, but I don't know. That first one is probably recency bias and the fact that parts of it are deeply personal to me. The second is the Eddie wants kids fic, which I worked on for months, so it has a special place in my heart. The third one is kind of a weird little experiment that was just unlike anything I'd ever written before. And the fourth one is a post break-up fic, and I really enjoyed playing with that kind of angst.

So they were all pretty different, and I can't choose.

Tagging (no pressure! and sorry for any double tags!): @messyhairdiaz @shortsighted-owl @elvensorceress @reachingforaspark @wh0re-behavi0r @daffi-990 @eddiebabygirldiaz and anyone else who wants to participate.

#i still am terrible at remembering my tag list i apologize if i forgot anyone #or if i tagged you and you didn't want a tag #spotsandsocks #20 questions for fic writers #tag games #my fic #my writing #long post

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floralneonlights · 1 year

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The fact Irene is just Some Guy in MCD who is able to have such a powerful relic -- that was created from HER magic -- feels........weird. I understand like, ahah lore!! But also that makes Aphmau way too op.

I would be okay with Aphmau being Irene and cursed with this immortality and eventually forgot everything along the way, that's very compelling. The issue is that Irene is basically a GODDESS.

Personally, I see the Divine Warriors as just some people who ended up discovering the true nature of magic and exploring it even more, having that magic stored in the relics forever.

Irene's deals with light and healing, a nurturing type of magic. Shad's is the opposite, one of darkness and flames, but can be controlled with the right user. Esmund's is strength and protection (think of magic shields). Enki's would be nature in general, the winds, the waters, etc (not creating it and not having all that much control over, more like a guidance and hearing of it).

With Menphia and Kul'Zak, I'm not sure what to do. We don't really know much about them period, but I will take recommendations and ideas.

NOW regarding the relics themself, like I said, their magic was turned into relics for preservation. I'd say Irene did it after Shad went off the deep end, with ALL of their magic, taking away all of their full potential, hoping their descendants know what to do with that power.

Since Shad is still alive like Aphmau/Irene, I'd say Esmund and Enki (along with the Menphia and Kul'Zak if still included) died while protecting her. She's already seen so much destruction with kingdoms (and her revolution) and now seeing someone whom she cared for turn onto them and kill her two friends. It's a constant war until Shad sends her into a coma, possibly crystalized even. When she wakes up, she isn't "Irene." She picks up the first name she could think of: Aphmau. And she lives life as this person who is always mumbling to herself, having a tons of pets, and helping people out of the goodness of her heart. The original Irene.

Back to the relics, in the canon Travis doesn't take the relic, I'd keep that the same but shake it up so he gets it eventually. The reason why he doesn't WANT to take the relic is that he isn't sure how it'd react to him being part Warlock Demon and that might taint Enki's power.

Oh, and Aaron is no longer related to Shad, he's still traumatized and cold at times, but not related to "the destroyer" and basically fated for doom. I decided to be Zianna related to Shad, thus the Ro'Meave brothers are too, while their father is related to Esmund. Which is why Shad haunts Zane is my version (AND BRINGS VLYAD BACK SO IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE NOW <3 ) and wants to get close, Zane is able to have the power of his relic and he wants to control that. But, Garroth is able to possess Esmund's relic.

See, with relics, it's more so if the person is able to wield, if they have the right heart, mind, body, and soul to do so. No one knew that besides Irene, and Shad presumes that anyone can hold onto the relics, and he saw Esmund's, Irene's, and Enki's relics as all more powerful than his and wants to possess them which... Why he takes over Garroth's body.

This is the really long post but I've just been thinking recently ABOUT the Divine Warriors.

Oh, also, the main point of this post (and what caused the spiral) was the idea that when someone has the relic in their possession and it trusts them, basically, it attaches itself to the body right on the heart, meaning that if someone wants the relic, the holder has to die.

Okay, post over.

#mcd #minecraft diaries #mcd rewrite #minecraft diaries rewrite #aphmau #mcd aphmau #aphmau mcd #aphblr #divine warriors #Genuinely feel insane whenever I post about MCD and you guys just eat it up

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dearbraus · 6 months

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my thoughts on the aot finale down below. don't click if you dont want to be spoiled!

this was a beautifully harrowing finale. the animation and the cinematography was astounding. truly i was blown away. mappa truly outdid themselves with some of the sequences and absolutely nailed isayama's usage of shifting appearances depending on whos perspective we were seeing and how eren's personhood and identity matched the eren we meet in s1 and not the eren we meet in s4 (will elaborate further down). the music and voice acting were superb. the agony in their voices sent chills down my spine and armin's harrowed screams as he sees eren's decapitated head will forever haunt me.

now onto the actual plot. I loved the original scenes that were incorporated (that line up with the volume 35 cover imo). i think it was far more cohesive to show levi, gabi, falco, yelena, and onyankopon with the newly created encampments, planting trees, and helping rebuild the world beyond paradis. in my opinion it did not make sense to jump so far ahead to where the cities were rebuilt and it was frankly too idealistic when the scene before that was the peace ambassadors discussing the state of paradis. additionally, i really enjoyed seeing historia's life and more of post-war paradis. it is heartbreaking to see how lifeless she is as queen though it makes sense considering she has no real power and is a pawn. seeing her and her daughter together was sweet and i'm glad she at least has the farm and a family to go home to.

i know seeing hitch yawn during the yeagerists rally was meant to be comedic but it is really sort of sad if you think about it. she clearly has no interest in the new military but has stuck with them for her own personal safety. seeing sasha's family and niccolo give dirty looks was golden and perfectly surmises the hypocrisy of the new military. sasha's family lost sasha, they knew of pain and hardship, they knew all that sasha sacrificed as a scout and now paradis is being led by a group of bozos who have never actually engaged in combat? yeah they deserved more than dirty looks. it's actually very sweet though that niccolo stayed with them, whilst i don't like the ship, i think its a very beautiful display of found family.

whew okay. now ... the plot. i wish we could have seen the others (reiner, jean, connie, annie, levi (?)) speak with eren in paths. that disappointed me. i know it isn't as relevant as mikasa and armin with eren in paths however i feel there is so much missing and seeing what he said to them could have filled in those blanks. paradoxically, i am glad we didn't see anything more since fans are still confused and disappointed in eren's death even though i felt his speech with armin made it very clear. it was ymir the founder's will to do the rumbling, it was her twisted bastardization of freedom that forced eren to do what he did because she was attached to him and mikasa. this perversion of freedom took away eren's choice because he was bound by destiny no matter what he did, so he blames himself due to the anger he felt for marley (and the rest of the worlds) hatred for paradis, eldia, and eldian's. armin takes partial ownership of eren's mistake because of their share childhood dreams, he gave eren his first taste of freedom, showed him a world beyond the walls with no violence, and no one else so ergo, the disappointment he felt was due to armin. and while the semantics do not matter when it was ymir the founder who caused the rumbling, this moment was meant to show how deep eren and armin's love for one another goes. they will be together, always, even if that means meeting each other again in hell. they have done everything together, they have shaped each other since childhood, idea's and beliefs don't exist in a vacuum and if that means armin blaming himself too so that eren can rest peacefully, then he'll do it.

i think a lot of people don't realize at the end of the day eren was powerless to ymir's will. and that is the point of the show. you cannot fight destiny, and you cannot have want you want (eren wants to be free, live, and be with mikasa//he dies an unwilling soldier to ymir's will.) (mikasa wants a life with eren//he dies before they could truly ever begin something) (ymir wanted to build a real life with historia but she sacrificed herself because she was living on borrowed time anyway).

speaking of ymir. i love the parallels to armin that we see. they both recognize that they have stolen someone else's life and power. ymir didn't feel the guilt until she realized there were things worth living for and that marcel had so much to live for. armin, however, spends five years filled with such guilt over stealing bertholdt's live, power, memories, wants, desires etc. i thought this was interesting. i think the idea of living on borrowed time is also why eren was willing to sacrifice himself in spite of how badly he wanted to live. he didn't want anyone to be burdened with living on borrowed time (realizing this after he saved armin, however, he'd save armin over and over again because he loves him).

i became very emotional seeing connie and jean wrap their arms around one another as they become titans and then connie joking one last time saying, "it was all your fault jean we joined because of you" knowing that his drive would have always led him to the scouts anyway. i also loved that they kept reaffirming their identity as scouts, it was very heartfilled and shows that their beliefs will never die even after the regiment collapses. erwin and hange's wishes will never die because they will keep living and fighting to fulfil them (arguably they did fulfil them by killing eren and eradicating the titans however, its sort of unspoken that there was so much more to do but the torch needed to be passed for armin for that to happen). now onto their clothing. eren grows his hair out in s4 and begins to look a lot like his father. he used to have his mother's eye shape and in spite of having his fathers colouring, he was carla's son. he was never grisha's son, that was her boy not his. but as he aged he turned into his father. symbolically i would say its because he mirrored his fathers previous desires to rise against marley however i do think this change is occurred because eren didn't recognize himself. when he appears to mikasa in the cabin, his hair his short, his eyes are softer, and he's wearing the same kind of clothing he used to. he became himself once more, he became the person they both knew. mikasa wears the clothing she wore as a child and continued to wear even after eren died. i think this was done to symbolize that they will always be connected to one another because their are parts of them that will always belong to one another. later we see eren and armin as children again, they talk for a while and grow up together. this image is a strong one. i think it was done to remind the audience and armin that the eren he grew up with was still there, he just had to hide himself literally and figuratively. armin says he can't believe eren would say something so pathetic and it takes him a moment to remind himself that eren hasn't changed, he is still the idiot hot head he loved so dearly. and while they've both changed, and cannot go back to the boys they once were, those boys will always exist inside of them. and that is beautiful :( also! the fight against the titans ymir was controlling! i think that reaffirms that how the eldian's in a way are slaves to ymir's will. their titans and likeness are being manipulated to fight by ymir the founder while they exist in paths watching it happen and being unable to stop it. she makes them complicit in her crimes until zeke uses his royal blood to stop it. its a very interesting dynamic that i still need to think on. while i don't blame ymir for acting out it is very gut wrenching. all she knows is violence despite craving connection (hence how all eldian's are connected in paths). it was very touching seeing ymir, porco, marcel, eren kruger, grisha, and bertoldt fight alongside the scouts. pieck crying because poroco was fighting alongside her, god my heart melted. she hardly got to mourn him before having to fight against his likeness, feeling betrayed even though it wasn't him. in a way it was one last act of freedom.

oh ... and levi's face when he finally killed zeke. he spent five years waiting to avenge erwin, spent five years having to play nice, his body was torn apart because of zeke. finally killing zeke didn't make levi feel better, he knew it wasn't going to bring erwin back but it could have felt satisfying but it wasn't. it was sad, and unfulfilling not because zeke allowed it to happen but because senseless violence will never make grief go away.

overall i think while this was a very gut wrenching end, it was beautiful and there will always be something new to discuss about this show. i will never stop talking about how truly amazing aot is!!!! but i wish i could rewatch it again for the first time and have that same feeling of wonderment all over again.

#fawn talks meta #this is incoherent im sorry #needed to get all the worms outta my head !!!#aot spoilers

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poisonousroxstar · 2 years

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Imagine:

Making Tanjiro Kamado your personal plaything.

(Title: "Love Is Blind")

Plot summary: you are something... Not from this world. A being of love, and of hate. He cannot resist your charm, and eventually he doesn't want to. He is your plaything now. Always and forever. (Romantic).

This Contains: drug-like themes (giving). Forced feelings of love (giving). Mental and emotional manipulation (giving). Murder (giving). Capture (giving). Worship (receiving).

Note: Meant to be bigger, but never got around finishing it+ I still haven't finished demon slayer, only watched a bit of it. Found in the old drafts! Seeing how finished Tanjiro's part was, I figured I'd post it! Maybe I'll make moooore if I ever finish demon slayer on Netflix ;D. Anyways, enjoy this while I try and finish some request stuff. Heavily inspired by the works of @koinotame and @minkmousesworld annnnnd just, me wanting to write an Aphrodite-like, Dom S/O-

There was something.... Alarming about you. Something otherworldly.

It was your beauty, your divine appearance.

You captivated the masses, making man and woman alike victims to your appeal. Hundreds of people would come just to have a mere glance at your visage, and each one would fall madly in love soon after.

But it wasn't all just skin-deep. Your personality was just as radiant.

Kind, affectionate, and completely irresistible. If people didn't fall for you at just a simple look, then a single conversation would have them all wrapped under your finger.

Of course, there was an ugly side to you. Everyone is flawed, even you. But they could be excused. So what if you're outrageously jealous when others challenge your glamour or take away the attention? So what if you're incredibly spiteful to the point you would have your worshippers beat, whip, and burn whoever did offend you? So what if you can be murderously insecure? Doesn't everyone have their moments? Their bad days? Of course they do, it's human. They all forgive you in one way or another.

They worship the ground you walk on. Though, you don't allow your feet to be tainted by the earth often. Instead, you are carried in a palanquin fit only for an emperor. Your word is law, your action is their command. You truly are an anomaly, especially when so little is known about you. They do not know where you've come from. They do not know why you seem so displaced and above them. They do not know how you can perform unearthly miracles with a simple flick of your wrist. And they do not care to ask, for they are happily content so long as they can worship you. So long as they can love you.

So imagine the despair you caused when you finally took someone as your personal plaything. Someone that was not any of them. But who are they to oppose your choice? And who is your beloved to oppose you either? They won't allow them to change their mind.

Not like you'll allow him to anyway.

He doesn't seem to remember anything from his past. It's all.... Fuzzy and blurred.

But he remembers when he first met you, how could he ever forget it? Your appearance may of caught his eye, but it was your kindness that really captured his heart.

You were so sweet to him, so kind and gentle, how couldn't he fall so deeply in love with you? Sure, it may of been a little alarming how quickly he got attached to you, but that just proves how amazing you are!

Likes to take care of you, though he can't really do much that hasn't already been done by your line of endless worshippers.

But he still tries, doing other things for you instead. He's so cute when he brings you something to eat in the morning, or when he cleans around your room (seeing that that's the only place your followers can't enter). Acts of service is his greatest love language. He wants to do everything for you, make you comfortable and content like you've made him. He's so cute, isn't he?

He also tries to help the community, helping them out in any way he can. This gets him some favour among your people, which after awhile turns into acceptance. They now welcome him with open arms.

Tanjiro tries to steer you away when he notices the thick air of jealousy forming around you whenever someone touches him in a way you don't like, or says things in a tone a bit too suggestive for your liking. He knows how you get, how quickly you are to anger, and he does an amazing job at calming you down; feeding you attention and reassurance that he is never going anywhere. That he loves you, and only you.

He does get a little jealous from time to time too, seeing so many people touching you and everything. It triggers something in him, something that wants him to isolate the both of you, somewhere far away where only you two exist; where you both can start your lives together, raise some children together, have a beautiful family far away from these people.

Like in the mountains.

But that's just an instinct for... Some reason.

D-don't misunderstand! He's in awe with how progressive, thriving and safe your village is! He just.... Wants to be able to provide for you himself. Alone. Together.

He's also very amazed whenever you perform a 'miracle', conjuring long fields of fruits and vegetables for your people to devour, and animals for them to butcher. He asks you questions about it, how on earth can you do these sorts of things! But, you only giggle and pinch his cheek, leaving him flustered and red in the face.

He really likes the times where you two can just be at peace with one another, happily relaxing in each others' arms and mindlessly asking questions to each other (though it's mostly him who gets questioned). You two can simply be by yourselves here, enjoying a warm meal he made and each others' presence. It's so domestic, and it leaves him in bliss.

There are days where he.... Wonders. About his past. He knows he should remember things, but he just.... Can't... Familiar places, familiar faces, familiar smells all bring nothing back for him. He can't remember from before he met you.

You won't let him

He has.... Glimpses, sometimes, where he manages to recall faint remnants of something. Or in this case today, someone. Someone who.... He swears he remembers.

He.... He had a sword right? Yes, a sword....why does he have a sword? What purpose would he need a sword for? He doesn't think he was a samurai... But that sword meant something... And the uniform! They signified something, didn't they?

..he was a demon slayer.. he was a demon slayer! Yes, he remembers that! He trained to become a demon slayer, to protect others from being hunted down by demons! But there was also another reason he can't recall

Images flash in his head, blurry and hardly possible to decipher. There are blanks and gaps in between them, but something nostalgic and melancholic clings to them, and he can hear a faint, feminine voice..

He had a sister, right?....yes, a sister... What was her name..? He... He can't remember. He can't remember what his sister's name is. He can't remember what she looks like. But he remembers that he has to protect her. That he has to cure her. Yes.... Yes, he remembers..

He remembers!

He remembers...

And he tries to escape. But something is stopping him. Something inside of him.... It doesn't want him to leave this place. It doesn't want him to leave this room.

It doesn't want him to leave you.

Every step he gets closer to that door, a little piece of his heart begins to break. By the time he's halfway through the room, he's crying, and his body is shaking, and it's getting harder to keep moving forward.

He's betraying you, he shouldn't be doing this... after everything you've given him... B-but his sister... She needs him. He has to do this. He has to get to her. He has to go!

No, he doesn't.

He's collapsed just at the entrance, sobbing and breathing uncontrollably. His whole body is shaking by now, and he feels so awful and horrible.

When you've returned, Tanjiro is hyperventilating, fat orbs of tears rolling down his face. It makes you pity him almost, even when he was just about to leave you behind.

What a lovesick puppy..

And what is a better cure for heartbreak, then love? You kneel down to his level, scoop his handsome face in your hands, and gently rub your cheek into his; leaving little kisses and hums along his trembling skin.

He grips onto your clothing, a small piece of himself telling him to throw you on the ground and get away, that something with you isn't right, but the rest is begging him to hold onto you, cling to you; engulf you in his arms as he weeps uncontrollably.

He's trying to say something, though it's hard to understand, but you can definitely hear a few 'i'm sorry's from his incoherent rambling. Ugh, it hurts to see him like this.

But you suppose he deserves this, trying to run away and everything. His heart is too big for his own good, and now it's cracked in multiple ways. He should be thankful for your attachment to him, for your mercy, because many before weren't often so lucky.

Afterwards, you begin to melt his mind further. Being around you is similar to a drug, you're something that makes Tanjiro feel happy and content with his new life here. Overtime, his mind slips, and day by day he is forgetting everything of his life.

His life as a demon slayer? What do you mean? Why would he be a demon slayer? This village is perfectly safe. His sister? You must be mistaken, he doesn't have a sister. His friends? Well, they're all here, silly! His family? He already has a family, with his beloved Y/N.

When all is said and done, Tanjiro is rendered the perfect husband. He maintains his kindness, his hardworking nature, his compassion and his friendliness. But now he is so much more loving, and submissive, and doting towards you. As he should, for you are his spouse now. And both of you couldn't be happier, you're sure.

And if his little sister and friends were to ever appear? To try and take your puppy away? Well, your devotees will take care of them swiftly. They trained themselves to be your unstoppable armies.

And if they fail. You can always intervene... And nobody in this world wants that.

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kelbbie · 2 months

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a lot of you don't know about my thread of kagihira as carly rae jepsen songs so here it is

i imagined specific scenarios for some of these but feel free to imagine what you want. you only need to listen with a kagihira mindset for the intended experience

au where hirano doesnt love kagi back but he accepts to date kagi with no strings attached (the one)

Truth is I never thought of us together You're just a friend of mine We should know better This can't last forever Kiss me one more time Romance is fine, pour me some wine Tell me it's just for the fun of it Far from your eyes, hard to deny when I don't want love, don't want none of it

2. au where the daily touching doesnt work and kagi ultimately gets rejected by hirano and he's not over it (party for one)

If you didn't know that you were right for me Then there's nothing I can say Tried to call you out to spend some time to see But somebody's in your way Tried to let it go and say I'm over you I'm not over you But I'm trying

3. au where hirano realizes he likes kagi back but is afraid to lose focus on his studies so he ignores it (happy not knowing)

All our friends that I know They've been trying to set us up together I lie, I lie I say somebody else would suit you better But I'll only go so far I don't have the energy To risk a broken heart When you're already killing me But if there's something between you and me Baby, I have no time for it I'm happy not knowing

4. in which hirano falls first (now that i found you)

Waking up next to you, every morning How did we get this far? It came without a warning And in the night time, you tell me your whole life You and me get too real, but all I feel is alright

5. au where kagi lies about dating hirano to get an admirer off his back (body language)

I think I'm in trouble, I can't see the end I call you my lover, you call me your friend I'm keeping it secret, yeah, even from you I call you my lover Oh, what can I do?

6. in which hirano realizes he wants kagi after kagi has already moved on (gimmie love)

I know I said that I'm too scared to try But I still think about you, think about you And I can't lie I like the feeling, how you make me shy I share my secrets and I will not hide I know that one could be two, one could be two

7. i only know this is kagi's pov (felt this way)

But I can't take much more of your hesitating Both our hands speak for us and complicate it My home is your body, how can I stay away? And if my love's too strong for you, walk away But I can't make this wrong when I see your face My home is your body, how can I stay away?

8. hirano falling in love arc (this is what they say)

And when you hear me calling your name It's always different, never the same And every morning, when I wake you up Sugar, you won't need a cup You got me feeling confident, yeah This is what they say Falling in love is supposed to feel like

9. kagiura being down bad (summer love)

I just live for the feeling Dance to the feeling Wait for the feeling of you I was down for the first night And I'm down for a second try When you touch me, I wanna fly I'm so down for you all the time

10. in which they sort the whole thing out (let's sort the whole thing out)

What it feels like when I'm next to you It's a soft touch that I read in to Was it just me? Did you linger for too long? But it's alright if it's on your mind 'Cause it's all I'm thinking all the time

11. post-graduation established relationship kghr / kagi's pov (sideways)

Oh, now I smile at strangers I'm that annoying type Who don't care if there's traffic 'Cause I've got plans tonight, oh Later we'll meet at your place Later we'll be together Ever since you said that you were mine Everything's going my way

12. this one is just 100% kagicore (i really like you)

Who gave you eyes like that? Said you could keep them I don't know how to act Or if I should be leaving I'm running out of time Going out of my mind I need to tell you something Yeah, I need to tell you something, yeah! I really, really, really, really, really, really like you And I want you, do you want me, do you want me, too?

#im probably the only target audience for this post but im ok with that #hirano to kaigura #hirano and kagiura #hirakagi #kagihira #in truth crj can be applied to any ship cause her lyrics are just that good #carly rae jepsen #Spotify #i put this together before the loveliest time btw

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blackbozo · 5 months

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TW: Vent Post.

Hey so uhm.. This is a vent post so if you don't wanna see that, keep scrolling.

I don't really know where to really.. begin with this. But basically, I'm just tired.

I feel tired, I feel dead inside most of the time when I'm alone. I feel like a husk. I'm so tired of going to school, where I get bullied pretty much all the time.

It's not that I hate my school. The teachers are nice, my friends are nice but.. it doesn't really do much.

Most of my school year so far has been just filled with being bullied.

At this point, most days there's only one thing that keeps me going. Not my friends or family, but someone very, very special to me.

And.. it's gotten really bad lately, this "relationship" I have with this person. I love him so, so damn much. Late September I confessed my feelings to him.

He doesn't feel the same.

And I haven't really.. accepted that. I've been.. really creepy. I do things to him I don't do to anyone else.. I say things to him that I don't say to anyone else.

And I'm scared, for him. I'm scared he'll get so tired of me and my bullshit that he'll block me. And I honestly wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I've developed extremely terrible attachment issues to this person. We met on Wattpad and just talked. I didn't see his face, he didn't see mind. We bonded over fictional crushes and fan-fiction.. and it was great and fine and normal.. Except I wasn't normal. I liked him back then.. a lot.

But then he disappeared. For 10 months.

10. Months. I suffered without him.

The whole reason I'm making this post is so I don't really say this to him, cause I don't want him to feel bad, or hate me. He left unwillingly.

He wrote smut and his parents found out and they grounded him.

But I thought he left because of me. That I was too creepy, too weird, too clingy. I thought he died. And.. I thought I was gonna move on, but nope. Early September he came back, and said he had moved to tumblr, here.

That's the whole reason I made this account, to talk to him.

To be friends again.

And it's been fine. We've been roleplaying a lot in our dms, but we always did what I wanted, which he got upset over because it wasn't fair. I didn't blame him.

But.. I thought he hated me. I thought he was gonna block me.

Some nights I would cry when he'd go offline for the night, others I'd just do something else.

But that night, I selfharmed. It was the third time I had over him. Not because I was mad at him, I was mad at myself.

I still feel like I deserved it, like it should've done something really bad, but I didn't.

I'm not okay without him, and I won't be okay without him.

Some days in the middle of school I think how he could just.. die. And I'd have no idea. He could just poof and be gone forever.

I still cry about that thought sometimes.

It doesn't help with my dad fucking sucking.

He makes me miserable. I get he's a single dad with anger issues, but he's not even trying to stop sometimes.

He smokes marijuana, which isn't terrible, but it's extremely illegal in our state.

My mom's alive, but she can't take care of me. I have a half brother and half sister, both of which are older than me.

They recently got evicted and I'm still worried about them.

And I feel unwanted by her. and by my siblings. I've tried so many damn times to just hangout and talk.

Y'know, be a family despite their situation.

I'm not asking for money either by the way, it's just what's going on.

I feel like a damn screw up all the time, like my entire family hates me. My friends hate me. My whole school hates me.

I hate myself.

I hate being alive, I hate everything and everyone, I just never say anything, because one, they'd yell at me, and two they'd be hurt. Because my feelings are invalid until I say something about them that's negative.

And I also live with my grandma. I love her, but she's been fucking driving me insane. I've had to help her with pretty much everything lately, and I get screamed at and called an asshole if I don't drop everything to help her in the next 10 seconds. And then she goes to her room and cries and I always have to apologize, even if I didn't even do anything.

And there's another thing.

I feel like I can't do a single damn thing without being judged.

Who I like, what I like, whatever.

What I eat, how I sleep, the stuff I watch.

The things I enjoy.

It's all judged and frowned apon by fucking everyone. They say they like me, but they don't fucking show it.

I'm so damn done being a people pleaser for everyone, but then if I'm not everyone hates me.

I can't control anything either. I know I'm still a child but I'm almost 13. My dad treats me like my input doesn't matter at all.

He's been trying to convince me to move out, when we don't have to.

He just wants to get away from my grandma, which is fair sometimes, but it's still mean.

He makes me feel like I don't matter, like I'm not a person. He's told me that basically my input doesn't matter cause I'm a child.

I'm so damn tired of everything and everyone.

I'm tired.

#vent tw #vent post #vent #self h@rm #im trying to write correct tags okay??#self harm #venting #personal #personal shit #personal vent #heavy topics

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gingerbreadmonsters · 1 year

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i've been enabled and i'm making it your problem

@autisticempathydaemon and @zozo-01 are FAR better to me than i deserve - and so commences the most stupidly difficult, totally self-indulgent and utterly ridiculous game you may have ever seen 🥳🥳

somehow, i've racked up 31 redacted fics in just under a year (??? how on earth has THAT happened??) and for each one, i've picked my favourite favourite line - it's your challenge to match the line to the fic it's from!

(please, don't take this too seriously - i'm not trying to shamelessly promote myself, or fish for compliments or whatever. all that's happening here is that i'm really proud of some of the stuff i've written over the past year, and it's my blog so i can do whatever i want lmao)

under the cut: first off is my list of lines, and then a comprehensive list of fic titles (arranged by date published, and then separated by series) so that you don't have to go traipsing through my masterlist! there's 31 total - i wonder how many you can get...

(i'll probably reblog this post with answers later, for anyone who may be curious, but again it's not that deep lmao)

oh, and one last thing: MINORS DNI 💕💕 there's nothing explicitly nsft here, but the implication is HEAVY for a few of these, so i'm erring on the side of caution!

(also, it's fairly obvious, but beware spoilers for, like, everything i've ever written lol)

ginger's picks:

What do you get when you cross a bullet with a human brain?

Ask for the impossible, just once more, and know that he has never been able to resist you.

sitting cross-legged in the bowl of your pelvis, holding your stomach softly in his lap and stroking it like a pretty cat.

(That’s you, by the way. They’re watching you. Smile.)

his heart beats on. maybe you’re asleep, maybe you’re awake. it doesn’t matter. you dream of him either way.

Books be damned. You, the answer to his prayers, the apple that bit back, and he’s forever in your gentle grasp. What is magic, if it isn’t whatever he has with you?

he doesn’t stay to read it, but there is a small plaque attached to the front of the plinth, glinting in the light. the text reads simply, “THINGS TO HOLD ON FOR.”

Lovely, gorgeous, beautiful Gavin - the man who plays Mario Kart at full volume, and blows kisses to the mirror as he twirls around under your arm in his new dresses, and regales you with story after story of the time he and Vincent didn't mean to cause a low-speed traffic incident, we promise, deviant!

will you hate it, spit it out into your hands, dump it in the trash with the rest of his candied heart?

The tortured scream of an incubus, from whom the world just takes and takes and takes, sealed off from the stars and utterly alone.

(The mug is blue. Elliott is lactose intolerant.)

Vindemiator, the patron saint of the empty champagne glass. Always the bridesmaid, never the incubus bride.

it belongs to you. he does too.

How is it that you find him, over and over, sunshine in his moonbound soul?

He raises his nearly-empty glass to you, a polite suggestion of a toast, charming and melancholy in equal measure. “You love him. I love him too. In us, may he never disappear.”

the howl of your laughter, the flash of your teeth in the mirror - his sweetheart’s as animal as he is.

“When he holds your legs nice and wide, stretching you out, filling you up… Look down, honey, there it is - feel that? Feel how full he makes you feel?”

It's the look that means he's plotting something nefarious again - one of his diabolical schemes that should send anyone with common sense running for the hills, and that probably means you either need to find your passport, renew your life insurance, or check the stability of every flat surface in the house.

Laying herself down amidst the wreaths of flowers, shrouded in lace and tulle, a silver sixpence under her right heel and feeling oh so very blue.

they can’t make a dream like he can make you.

Pantomime villains, or not even that - a whole clan of half-baked sidekicks, tripping over themselves to trip him up, thinking they’re bigger and badder than they actually are.

“You think I need half an hour? Shit, sweetheart, you must be in the mood for more than I thought,” he laughs, phone already in hand. “And here I was thinkin’ you still wanted to be able to walk tonight.”

a rest can look like sleep can look like death. rigor mortis sets in. bleached to bones in the burning sand.

his jaw goes slack. you cannot seriously be expecting him to be fit for any sort of company, polite or otherwise, rose-tinted spit smeared across his face and eyes blown wide with stifled pleasure.

“i swear it on my life. every everlasting day of it.”

All you can do is stare down at the little post-it note by your right foot, bright pink paper stuck cheerily to the front of your current case folder, and try not to look like your heart is melting into caramel.

The smell of smoke, the sound of a campfire, and a single chair to sit on. Yes, a wonderful dream. When does Elliott get here?

head spinning, he pulls hazily at the hem of your shirt, too drunk on your touch to hear your laughter (he can’t quite tell if you’re calling him “needy” or “pretty”, and it really could be either), too desperate to worry about the careless way he’s practically tearing your clothes off you. whatever it was, he’ll buy you a new one.

You’re his, in this room most of all, his most treasured little darling that prefers the taste of his kiss to any wine he gives you, that craves the glow of his adoration as much as the sting of his disapproval, that knows every curve and line and swirl in the wood of his desk where he bends you over it.

Warmth and weight and water. A happy little inchoate, snoozing away in Vega’s arms, and you don’t remember if you dream.

All things are equal on the altar of his adoration and he is your greatest disciple, raising the knife up in his hands and swearing on your name that he will bring you back to life. Watch over him, bless him, smile upon him. Just you wait. One last miracle.

fic titles (standalone first, arranged by date, then series):

green umbrella trees

take a sip

ivory tower

thy fair imperfect shade

can’t help but see

knock knock!

sh-boom, sh-boom!

get in, loser!

I WON’T BOW OUT BRAVELY

ever thine, ever mine, ever ours

五二零

kingdom come

bury the hatchet

return to me

here we are in heaven

original sin

oops-a-daisy

LOVE HEART (the milo and sweetheart series)

SWEET TALK

SOUL MATE

ALL MINE

swings and roundabouts (imperium)

one more paradox

come into my parlour

stranglehold

five more minutes

blood sugar, baby!

wrapped up in clover

to the egress! (the barnum series)

hold on tight

a ring on the carousel

mad or sublime

motion capture (the elliott one)

motion capture

you’re the cat’s meow!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

#im not putting this in the main tag bc it's totally shameless and i would be flayed alive #lmao we move #having a bit of fun while i procrastinate my essay lol #i put all of the lines into a randomiser so they are in a completely random order - no relation to the original posting order 🥰🥰#do have fun! whether you ignore this post completely or have a go i do not mind 🥳🥳

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im-a-chunky-potato · 7 months

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I think you're

A kid

chuuya coded /j. you're very sigma + atsushi coded. plus a little dab of chemical X (nikolai humor as per your own words)

very nice. I saw you reblogging someone's post and leaving rlly kind/encouraging words in the tags.

fun to talk to, funny, kind, genuine potato 🥔

I think you really like mashed potatoes 🤭

You remind me of my other friend named Julienne 😭 (I swear if it turns out you're her, im gonna kms /j)

You've got artistic potential ✨

Kinda scared that you're the type to keep it to yourself if something bothers you (its cause of my other friend, sorry 😭) <<< if something bothers you, let them know, ayt? Your feelings matter lmao. Your feelings COME FIRST.

I hope you have fun and good friends at school/work cause you deserve it 💅💖

you've carry the group projects 💅 (usually the vice leader if not the actual leader. That OR you're a really helpful member who makes sure to contribute)

go finish that sigma rabbit analysis lmao. 🐰🐰🐰 /j

I think you're very rabbit coded too (in a way. Not going to elaborate lol.)

I'll never get over the fact that you compared yourself to a kid with a leash 😭😭

xoxo,

your secret admirer 😏

(̶J̶K̶ P̶L̶S̶ D̶O̶N̶T̶ C̶A̶L̶L̶ T̶H̶E̶ C̶O̶P̶S̶)̶

...WHY ON EARTH DID YOU WRITE AN ENTIRE ESSAY'S WORTH OF THINGS ABOUT ME. Actually, I'm flattered but also confused about the amount of effort you put into this.

Technically you are correct, but I will still fight you on this >:(

Htgsgs how dare you say that🐕.Yeah, I'm the Atsushi type heh!

You'd be right! To quote the wonderful Vash the Stampede- love and peace ✌️! I just like knowing I made someone smile or a bit happier<3

...I swear you're trying to kill me. But thank you! I'm surprised this name has stuck and just became my thing but it's kind of cool🥔 I hope all of my mutuals can never see potatoes the same again.

Htgsgs mashed potatoes are really good. But in all actuality my favorite food is Alfredo or any sort of pasta!

Your friend sounds awesome then. I hope she torments you irl as much as I do online! (Ooh hold on is that the same friend who thought you were texting a crush and you had to explain tumblr to?)

Aw ty! That was the first sketch I've done since forever. Hair is hard. And eyes. And faces. And... you get the point. I do want to improve though, so I'll keep trying.

I'll keep that in mind! And no worries, honestly the fact that you care about me enough to say that is really comforting. (Hah I'm attached to you now, it's all going downhill from here)

Thanks! I hope the same for you. My friends are awesome! They're the ones who also get to see my Nikolai side so it's fortunate they stay/j. Fun fact: I'm one of the giggliest people alive, so it's way to easy for them to make me laugh.

I could never be the leader lol, I don't have the confidence to tell other people what to do. But I'd say I'm the vice leader.

But that involves work... and effort... Actually I plan to get to it at some point. I'm impressed people are actually curious (aka I didn't plan for people to actually want to see my reasons, woops)

...Yeah I can see it.

THAT WAS ONE JOKE! Hstgs actually I'm glad you liked it. But if that's how you envision me now I will be sure to invoke all sorts of pain upon you🥰

I'll see you in court wakanai🫵 (I'm joking I would never do that to my fedya. If we go to jail we're doing it together!❤️ )

Xoxo, you're favorite potato<3

Sorry this took so long to write! And thanks a lot for all of the kind words, you have no clue how much I was smiling while making this.

#thanks for the ask!#ily!

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salveticn · 1 year

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;; I would like to talk a little about lahabrea , if i may ... especially regarding the pandaemonium tiers . so this post contains spoilers .

before opening this blog , i was undecided whether i wanted to write lahabrea or elidibus , to then choosing elidibus because i am way too fond of lahabrea , and if any bad experience would happen here , i know i would have him ruined forever . i do like elidibus , i've grown very attached to him while writing him in here despite my insecurities initially , but lahabrea is on a complete different level .

you cannot imagine the joy i felt when his appearance was finally revealed and he was everything i wanted from him . i think he looks very handsome , a look that fits his character , you know ? i would have been indifferent if they chose to stick with the interpretation of lahabrea we had , but his actual one makes more sense since he's referred to as very old ( perhaps one of the oldest ancients , too ? )

in any case , very happy with his looks . as for his role in the pandaemonium tier ? we still must come to an end and i look forward to it with impatience ! but i really enjoyed his entrance in the second tiers , and the fact that he is a completely different person from the lahabrea we know made me go :O i mean , i was expecting it , but also :O

now , i get the canon interpretation leaves some people question his morals and parental skills . it could have been written better ( or maybe not , maybe this will open the doors to unexpected ways in the upcoming tier ? who knows ) but i don't think he's a bad father ... heck , not the way the fandom has been treating him at least , because i've read some heavy words from people that just made me feel a little uncomfortable .

lahabrea's intentions were not meant to break hearts , but after suffering trauma , he's made himself indifferent to anything and / or anyone . he's used some words to prompt erichthonios on the way of improvement , even used certain facial expressions that could have been misread -- especially since he's concealed most of his emotions in hephaistos . but none of his doing was ill-intended . he had a secret to keep from erichthonios -- a secret that he knew his son would crumble right before his eyes , were he to discover the truth . while , yes , it's better knowing the truth than living in the shade all the time , lahabrea preferred to be hated by his son than strike him with insufferable pain .

erichthonios is very susceptible to emotion , and this is a trait that lahabrea knew , hence why he refrained from telling him the truth right away . he couldn't just up and tell his child ( who was very young then ) : oh your mom just wanted to exploit you for her own experimentations . every words of encouragement she ever told you , every little attention she had given you , every little thing you did ... she tracked it all down , it was all set for her own end . she had you in her thoughts but only as her own guinea pig . no , he couldn't say the truth to him just yet ... not when erichthonios was still emotionally sensitive . that's why the perfect time was when erichthonios wasn't alone , when erichthonios had grown stronger . that's when lahabrea saw change in him , and knew he was ready to hear the truth .

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

i also saved some snippets from dialogues in pandaemonium :

lahabrea at hephaistos ... this because hephaistos manipulated erichthonios to fulfill athena's experiment , exploiting his sensitive heart for his own good . dad vs dad of the past ( even if a good chunk of athena's essence lives in hephaistos )

ugh , i wished they worded this one better tbh ... a convocation member's role is to fulfill their duty for the sake of the star and lahabrea nearly caused fatal damage to the star by allowing athena to run her tests and experiments in pandaemonium ( even constructing the facility was one big mistake ) bc what if she actually succeeded ? he set himself on the right path after ushering athena to her end . he also says that he couldn't nurture a son while an entire world looked to him for guidance , but not because he couldn't as if he didn't want to , but because his work kept him tremendously busy all the time , leaving him with little time to actually care for a child . but he takes the responsibility anyway .

idk why but i really like this one . he's demanding but his tone sounds composed . free his son unless you want to die . it's such a short sentence but it makes me understand that he really does care about him ...

and this is how i think lahabrea was meant to be written : on the outside , a composed , serious-looking man -- one of those capable of making your blood run cold with a single glare ! so serious that their lips will not budge at the funniest joke . but on the inside ... on the inside he will do anything for the safety of his child , even killing if it means saving him .

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

now , i cannot speak for canon interpretation ( because we simply just don't know ! ) but I would like to blab about MY lahabrea for a moment :

it doesn't differ much from canon interpretation but i like to make characters feel more alive , and not just robots , you know ?

i'll start with ... he's a boomer . he's very composed , serious , with impeccable discipline and mannerisms , but there will be times in which he cannot find his reading glasses ; so you will hear him go "where are my glasses? has anybody seen my glasses?" only to discover he's wearing them , or at least keeping them connected to a chain around his neck . he cannot read without his reading glasses , or he will look like this .

lahabrea finds it hard to express adoration after suffering his trauma with athena , but he still very deeply cares about erichthonios . however , it's a rare occurrance for him to express it verbally ; he will simply make sure that erichthonios finds his favorite meals / food in the fridge / cabinets .

and because lahabrea is a busy man , he had very little time to dedicate to his son but he managed to be present regardless . he left little notes around the house for erichthonios , like : a note inside the cookie jar "you may eat three, but brush your teeth after" ; a note on the fridge "there are yesterday's dinner leftovers, microwave for 2 mins. temperature crystal is already set" ; a note on the counter "i left some sliced apples / lunch box in the fridge" ... you know , notes like this .

and you bet there are days in which he takes erichthonios to work with him ... they're probably very frequent , depending on his schedule .

i have several more hcs about lahabrea , but i hope to have covered most of my points with these (●'◡'●)

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

also , i'm begging the fandom to please stop saying lahabrea has had super s//ex or smth , legit on my knees ... what you call super s//ex for fun is just athena manipulating lahabrea for her own good , because by soul-merging , she would have achieved another step into her experiment .

lahabrea agreed because he believed that by doing so , he would discover whether or not athena kept him in her thoughts . she didn't ... not a single thought was about him , not a single thought expressed true feelings about their love or their relationship in general . he discovered her plans for erichthonios , the very key for her experiment .

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

i'm sorry for the long post ... i honestly planned on writing a lot more but i felt like i would become too repetitive in the end . lahabrea holds a very special spot in my heart so i hope we get to see more of him in the future .

i look forward to pandaemonium tier 3 ! (❁´◡`❁)

#((#one thing that i love and that i always say when chatting with my friends is that ...#erichthonios is all his father fdjfggj he got the best genes u . u and he's very handsome himself #legit you look at his face and it's all his father !!#ugh ;v;#but i'm also like ... damn athena wtf you evil genius ??#that woman was dedicated ... she was d e t e r m i n e d #holy shit i love this patch's raids ...#))#☽ || free from all sense of purpose ;; ooc #tw ;; long post

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