#Destroyer Puzzle Event

[supersaiyanjedi14]

SABEZRA WEEK: Day 3 (Oct 25): What If/Fixit

*What if Sabine had made it on to the Chimera with Ezra?  How do they spend the trip back home?* 

“LS-2310, report.” 

“This is 2310, aft deck clear. Over.” 

“Copy.” 

“That’s not going to fool them forever, you know.” 

Ezra looked up from the comlink towards Sabine. The storage compartment they had managed to cram themselves into luckily had enough crates lying around that they had something to sit and lay down on. After the (to put it mildly) hectic day they had had, being able to just sit still for a moment seemed like a gift from above. Sadly, stowing away on an Imperial Star Destroyer, especially one captained by Thrawn, was hardly a situation to readily afford such a luxury. It had been a miracle that they hadn’t been discovered yet. And they weren’t even close to being out of the woods. Sabine had told him that the whole trip through hyperspace had taken the better part of three days even with the colossal hyperdrive ring, so it would take at least that long before they could hijack a shuttle or fighter and make their escape. Until then, they had busied themselves finding stormtrooper armor to disguise themselves in and finding a quiet spot of the ship to lie low. 

“It’ll just have to fool them long enough,” Ezra replied. “Just long enough for us to get back to known space.” 

“The sooner the better.” Sabine replied sharply. Ezra saw her holding herself stiffly as she sat on the crate. Her hands were wringing themselves like crazy, and her left foot kept bouncing like a rubber ball. 

Ezra couldn’t blame her for feeling antsy. Yes, they had managed to get aboard the Chimera and were on their way home, something he himself had been waiting ten agonizingly long years for. But the “they” in question did not include everyone. The last they had seen of Ahsoka, she was fighting off a Elsbeth and a small army of undead stormtroopers all on her own. She couldn’t divide her attention from them for a split second to catch her breath, much less get on the ship. They had been forced to leave her behind. 

They didn’t know if she had managed to get away, if Hyuyang had gotten the ship repaired enough for them to pursue. Of course, even if she had, there was little to no way that she had managed to catch up. At best, she was right where he had been, stranded on a forsaken planet at the edge of existence with no way to get home. At worst... 

Ezra banished the thought from his mind. He could tell that Sabine was beating herself up enough over this turn of events. Having both of them fret over it wouldn’t do anyone any good. Even if he couldn’t see her obvious signs of worry and agitation with his own eyes, her nervousness and shame were shining like a bonfire through the Force. 

Sighing, he sat down with her, putting an arm around her shoulder. “Hey,” he said. “She’ll be alright. The second we can, we’ll find a way to head back out there and find her.” 

Sabine took a deep breath. “We shouldn’t have to. It’s my own fault we’re in this mess.” 

“Don't say-” 

“I mean it!” Sabine snapped. Ezra was taken aback by the outburst, though his expression was evidently enough for her to rein it in. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “It’s just...she told me time and again what was at stake. I knew from the start that Thrawn coming back would be a disaster. And what did I do? I gave in. I was selfish. And now Ahsoka’s stuck out there and Thrawn’s on his way back to make all hell break loose.” She scoffed. “Some Jedi, huh?” 

Ezra thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully. He could tell she was really on edge, and feeding into her blame wouldn’t do her any good. Then again, it would also be dishonest to pretend that there was no fault at all here. 

“You’re right,” he said at last. “You were selfish, and things are looking bleak.” He tightened his embrace around her shoulder. “But that just means we have something to make right.” 

Sabine looked up at him, her agitation replaced by a puzzled expression. Ezra continued. 

“If there’s one thing Kanan taught me, one thing I learned from my time with him, it’s that being a Jedi isn't about being perfect. It doesn't mean always being right. Every Jedi in history has messed up at some point, sometimes because they were wrong, sometimes because they had no good options. But nine times out of ten, that’s just because they were people. The critical thing was that they got back up and tried to do right even after they failed.” 

He moved around to place both hands on her shoulders. “And that’s what we’re going to do. Thrawn’s coming back, but so are we. We’re going to fight him. You, me, Hera, all of us. We’re not going to let him bring the Empire back. And one way or another, we’re going to get Ahsoka back here too.” He smiled. “And we’ll do it together.” 

Sabine looked at him, her face still etched with concern. “How can you be sure?” 

Ezra just smirked. “I’m about to complete a round trip to another galaxy. If that can happen, anything can.” 

At first, Sabine said nothing. Then, her eyes starting to moisten, she gave a weak smile of her own and enveloped Ezra in a crushing hug. Ezra wrapped his own arms around her and squeezed. 

This was going to be a long trip. But they had each other and a lot to prepare for. 

#star wars #star wars rebels #ezra bridger #sabine wren #sabezra #sabezraweek2023 #fanfic

[ohblackdiamond]

do you collect for kiss?

not really actively. i pick up things as the mood strikes. i have about half of kiss' albums (the half i like) and will pick up singles when i happen to find them in local record stores, and i have things like guitar picks and a small amount of the hello kitty merch (i drag that duffel bag with me as carry-on!), though probably the standout is the kiss/hello kitty beanie babies. i have gotten some kind gifts (@elrohare is too good to me!) as well, and sometimes family and coworkers are known to send cool kiss merch my way. i do have various stuff from events, concerts, and kruises as well.

in a perfect world where i didn't have to worry about such things as bills, i'd probably actively collect aucoin-era merchandise and incidentally collect for other eras, but all i really have from that '73-'82 period (outside of albums) are two piano books (one for destroyer and one for rock and roll over), a calendar, some kiss bubblegum cards, a gene button, and a destroyer puzzle. but the cost is way too prohibitive for me to really get in on the aucoin-era scene.

probably my favorite thing in my collection is a signed and desecrated doodled-on copy (gene and ace's signatures) of kiss' mandate article.

#kiss the band #thanks for the asks! #gene simmons #paul stanley #ace frehley #peter criss

[the-whatcherof-89]

Tommyinit “The Big man” Thomas Careful Danger Kraken Innit AKA Theseus the Destroyer of Statues and Other Nice Things People Built. (dang that’s a lot of nicknames y’all)

Human Fighter(Mobile fighter)16 XP76800

Chaotic Neutral Medium Humanoid

HP158(16d10+48)

AC33(+4Dex+4Shield+3Deviation+9Armor+3Natural)

BaB+16 CMB+23 CMD+36

FORT+17 REFL+14 WILL+13

Racial traits: Extra feat(Cosmopolitan), +1 Skill point/level

Traits: Reckless, Scarred.

Class abilities: Bonus feats(Weapon focus, Greater weapon focus, Improved shield bash, Shield slam, Shield master, Power attack, Penetrating strike, Greater penetrating strike, Spring attack), Agility+4, Leaping attack+3, Armor training+2, Rapid attack, Fleet footed.

STR24 DEX18 CON14 INT10 WIS14 CHA14

Feats: Mobility, Dodge, Master craftsman, Point blank shot, Precise shot, Weapon specialization, Greater weapon specialization, Quick draw.

Skills: Acrobatics+10, Climb+11, Craft(Alchemy)+4, Handle animal+9, Intimidate+9, Knowledge (Dungeoneering)+4, (Engineering)+4, Perform(Oratory)+10, Perception+15, Ride+12, Swim+15, Survival+10, Use magic device+25.

Languages: Common, Draconic.

Equipment: Amulet of natural armor+3, Ring of protection+3, Balanced mithral breastplate+3, Spiked volcanic shield+2, Adamantine battleaxe, Adamantine longsword of speed+3, Composite longbow(Str+6), 50+1 Arrows, Boots of speed, Cloak of resistance+5, Belt of physical might+4(Str, Dex), Handy haversack, Rod of absorption, Efficient quiver, Manual of war(Signed by Technoblade), Cap of the free thinker, Ring of persuasion, Headband of mental prowess+2(Int, Wis, Use magic device), Bracers of the glib entertainer, 2 Snapleaf, Wand of cure light wounds, Fighter kit, Dungeoneering kit, Combat trained horse with MWK Hide barding, Military saddle, Bit and bridle, War saddle, Military bags, Horse rations for 4 days, 1080gp.

Background: Tommynit is one of the founding members of the land and he is the living definition of a rebellious child (with a lots of PTSD). He and Tubbo have been like brothers ever since the beginning and had a rollercoaster of a life with both of them participating in the war, rebuilding the government, breaking up after his exile, their tearful reunion, the hopeless fight against Dream followed by his  imprisonment in Pandora’s vault and then being shoulder-to-shoulder when the Green man escaped the prison to support his mental health. Tommy had lot of help also from Philza whom he considers like a father/mentor figure and had build many relationships with the other members of the land; literally almost EVERYONE knows him(especially for his shenanigans and acts of theft) and he is a literal “face” of the events that transpired across the many places. Name a place, a time and event and Tommy was likely there, for some reason. Recently, he decided to fortify his last safe house (Tubbo’s old house) and allied with Sapnap to devise a plan to end Dream once and for all. One day, Tommy was having a nightmare remembering his long exile in Logstedshire and the tortures that Dream inflicted upon him. He woke up, distraught. When he stood up, he wobbled toward the tiny windows to look outside to check if the green man was around. As he saw that the coast was clear, he decided to go and meet Tubbo to see if he needed any help with Micheal after the death of Ranboo. He was about to open the door when he heard a voice. “Poor kid, so much trampled over by others.” Tommy immediately grabbed his sword. “You are not Dream. Who are you? What do you want?” A giggle was heard behind the door. “Who i am matters only if you hear first what I want. I want to propose a challenge; to you and your friends.” Tommy asked puzzled. “A challenge? And what is the prize?” The mysterious individual tapped on the door a few times. “Find me. Simple as that. And i will grant your wish. ANY wish. A wish limited ONLY by your imagination.” Tommy was stunned by this proposal but he had his share of lies and tricks so he backed a little. “Why should i trust you?” The voice answered: “They have already accepted.” Tommy was staring at the door in disbelief. “The man in green, the pig king, his crow friend… the lover of bees…and the rest.” Disbelief became terror: If Dream was involved… Tubbo was not safe. And Dream could have asked to torture them for all eternity. “The game has already started.” Concluded the voice. Tommy shouted the loudest, most fierce war cry that he had ever done in his life as he opened the door, charging through. The light enveloped him and he found himself in a new place, with new items and… Tubbo! He was in front of him, and there was a giant bee. “Tubbo, there is a bee of the size of a horse behind you.” Tubbo went to cuddle the large creature. “I know, he is my animal companion.” Tommy was stunned. “Your what?”

Tubbo “Mr Cookie gadget” Big Law/Crime the Beloved Bee Boy. 

Human Hunter(Verminous hunter)16 XP76800

Lawful Good (With various split personalities/personas) Medium Humanoid

HP140(16d8+48)

AC34(+8Dex+3Shield+2Natural+2Deviation+9Armor)

BaB+16 CMB+13 CMD+31

FORT+16 REFL+21 WILL+11

Racial traits: Extra feat(Weapon finesse), +1 Skill point/level

Traits: Destined diplomat, Scarred.

Class abilities: Verminous companion Giant bee(Use Giant wasp for statistics), Vermin empathy, Vermin focus(Bee +8 Perception), Swarm stride, Nature training, Precise companion (Outflank), Track, Hunter tactics, Teamwork feats, Improved empathic link, Bonus trick(sic’ed, Surprise shift), Second animal focus (Moth), Darkvision 20ft, Blindsense 10ft, Swift tracker, Raise animal companion, Speak with master, Greater emphatic link.

STR10 DEX26 CON16 INT10 WIS16 CHA10

Spellcasting CL16 DC13 Spells per day 5/5/5/4/3/1 Spells known:

6-Dispel magic greater, Ironwood.

5-Cure critical wounds, Tree stride, Sturdy tree fort, Companion transposition.

4-Cure serious wounds, Dispel magic, Repel vermin, Warp metal, Freedom of movement.

3-Water breathing, Protection from energy, Meld into stone, Cure moderate wounds, Magic fang grater.

2-All food, Versatile weapon, Eagle eye, Bearskin, Flame blade, Insect scouts.

1-Air bubble, Burning disarm, Endure elements, Cure light wounds, Hide from animals, Gravity bow.

0-Detect magic, Read magic, Create water, Light, Mending, Resistance.

Feats: Mounted combat, Extended animal focus, Craft wondrous items, Brew potions, Vital strike, Improved vital strike, Divine interference, Spirit’s gift.

Teamwork feats: Coordinated charge, Pack flanking, Distracting charge, Shake it off, Paired opportunist(s).

Skills: Acrobatics+20, Climb+8, Craft(alchemy)+13, Diplomacy+11, Handle animal+16, Heal+10, Intimidate+11, Knowledge (Dungeon)+4, (Geography)+4, (Nature)+8, Perception+16, Profession(Beekeeper)+7, Ride+20, Spellcraft+13, Stealth+20, Survival+12, Swim+10.

Languages: Common, Bee empathy.

Equipment: Amulet of natural armor+2, Ring of protection+2, Scarab breastplate, Tempest shield, Called rapier+3, Short bow+1, 50+1 Arrows, Belt of incredible dexterity+6, Cloak of resistance+3, Circlet of persuasion, Boots of striding and springing, Handy haversack, Eyes of the eagle, Ioun stones: Lavender and green ellipsoid, Pearly white spindle, Pink rhomboid, Bracers of archery, Horn of fog, Page of spell knowledge I, Feather token tree, Ranger kit, Alchemist kit, Grappling hook, Holly&Mistletoe, Signal whistle, Cold weather outfit with Snowchester symbol, Veterinarian kit, 300gp, 5sp.

SPINS - Animal Companion - Large Bee (stats like giant wasp) Initiative+4

Speed 20ft Fly 60ft (Good)

HP13d8+52(110) AC36(+12Natural+4Dex+11Armor-1Size) Sting+19 1d8+10+Poison DC22 1/round for 6rounds 1d4 damage 1 cure DC Con based.

Racial: Darkvision 60ft Immune to mind effects Poison

Class: Improved evasion, Ability score increase (+1Str +1 Dex +1 Wis), Multiattack, Devotion, Share spell, +8 vs trip CMD.

Str 24 Dex 18 Con 18 Int- Wis14 Cha4 BaB9 Saves 11/11/6

Feats: Armor proficiency x3 (light, medium, heavy), Power attack, Improved overrun, Improved bull rush, Improved poison.

Skills: Acrobatics+8, Fly+8, Perception+9, Stealth+11, Survival+6, Swim+12

Tricks: Stay, Guard, Attack, Defend, Seek, Track, Work, Heel, Fetch, Down, Come, Perform, Charge.

Equipment: Amulet of mighty fists+3, Darkwood Spiked Full plate barding+3, Headband of thunderous charging, Pauldron of the bull, Bit and bridle, Military exotic saddle with bags and 5 rations.

Background: Hyperactive, earnest, naive, easygoing, optimistic, loyal. This is what defines Tommy’s best friend, Tubbo. Together they had been through a lot and if he  could or would write a book about it, it would be a really LONG saga. Tubbo was a figure of administration that lasted longer than any other did or could. Especially after Schaltt government and the Doomsday. He also founded the Dream Hunters and joined the Butcher army in an attempt to stop Technoblade. After Dream imprisonment he built Snowchester as a colony of survivors and NOT a government to avoid the anger of the Blood God. There he commissioned Foolish to build a mansion for his new lover Ranboo and his adoptive son Micheal. After Dream escaped from prison, both his beloved and his son disappeared and went to search for them along with Techno and Eret. They discovered that it was Awsamdude fault for kidnapping both of them and also for the “accidental” murder of his husband. After punishing the warden, he returned Micheal to the mansion in Snowchester where he met Boo the ghost of Ranboo. One day, Tubbo woke up at the sound of a door opening. He went to check for Micheal, but he was not in his room. Panicking, Tubbo went to search for him only to find him in the main hall with the chandelier, above a cloud. “What? What is that? What are you doing Micheal? How are you…?” He could not believe is eyes, there was a large, fluffy cloud in the main hall and his adoptive son was above it, as if nothing was occurring. “Your child is quite unique. But he doesn’t seem so safe. It has already been proven.” A voice echoed in the room, the owner nowhere to be found. “Release my son! Whoever you are!” Silence was cut short by the mysterious voice “I am not holding him hostage. On the contrary, i am protecting him. For your will i do understand. And i come here with a challenge: I shall grant you a wish. ANY wish. But only if you can find me.” Tubbo was adamant in his next answer “I am going through the five stages of grief, do you mind? Give him back, NOW.” But the voice continued: “They have accepted the challenge. All of them. If they find me first… he will never be safe. But i can grant you, your child and your friends the safety you oh-so look for.” Stairs of smoke formed and Tubbo climbed and reached Micheal for a hug. “I accept. But only if you will grant me that Micheal will stay here in this mansion, safe and sound.” The mysterious individual snapped his fingers. “It is done.” The could shifted and turned into a giant bee with brit, bridle, saddle and other items equipped. “A loyal companion. One that will follow you to the end of the world.” Tubbo looked in disbelief as he somehow recognized the bee: “SPINS? Is that you? HOW…?!” The large creature made a strange buzzing sound. Tubbo re-asserted himself as he gently put Micheal down “Go back to your room, boy. I am going away for a short time.” The Piglin made a snorting sound and walked to his room. “Let’s make this quick, ok?” The figure snapped his fingers again. “Oh that depends entirely by you.” And the world shifted and so did his equipment. He found himself in a new place, he dismounted and saw… Tommy! He was in front of him. “Tubbo, there is a bee of the size of a horse behind you.” He said. Tubbo embraced Spins. “I know, he is my animal companion.” Tommy was stunned. “Your what?”

Link for image: https://at.tumblr.com/periwinklemoonlight/stay-clingy/yku27vq2ff43

Art belongs to the amazing https://www.tumblr.com/periwinklemoonlight

#minecraft #dream smp #tommyinit dsmp #tommyinit fanart #tubbo dsmp #tubbo my beloved #tubbo fanart #Pathfinder Roleplaying Game #tabletop game

[sloshed-cinema]

Donnie Darko (2001)

Richard Kelly truly is a master of making stupid movies that think they’re smart.  But there’s a spectrum to that which needs to be minded.  Southland Tales is a guilty pleasure of mine.  It’s so fucking stupid and up its own ass with its pained Iraq War and End-Stage Capitalism Haute-Bourgeoisie metaphors, but there’s a certain magic to it.  The movie is so extremely gonzo and insane and lite-Verhoevenesque that it circles around from being just dumb to being hilarious and dumb.  Donnie Darko, by contrast, is too busy doodling edgy sketches and Joy Division lyrics in the margins of its notebooks to move past the sledgehammer stages of bad movie obvious metaphors.  Characters speak at length about existentialism and time travel and the Meaning of it All, write Cellar Door on chalkboards, and hold pearl-clutching PTA meetings.  The forbidden fruit of banned books is paralleled between the Graham Greene short story “The Destroyers” which draws ire from some parents and the manifesto Philosophy of Time Travel which Donnie’s teacher passes to him on the condition he won’t tell anyone.  Kelly plays with time, making ample usage of speed ramps, intercutting of parallel action, and time-lapse photography to make the space-time continuum part of the texture of the film itself even as constant intertitle dates remind the viewer that the end is nigh.  Needle-drop moments littered throughout use songs which parallel actions or mindsets of characters to a hilariously literal degree.  I suppose I would roll my eyes and move on but for just how thoroughly the last ten-odd minutes lost me.  All of the elements are there: metal vessels, the mysterious origin of the plane turbine, the Abyss goo-alien chest tentacles… It’s fairly clear where the events are leading.  But Kelly isn’t satisfied to allow the viewer to put two and two together in a four-piece jigsaw puzzle.  No, he needs voiceover from previous scenes to further underline a point which has already been tattooed into the film’s flesh.  Why this has such a cult following I suppose would baffle me.  But then again, it’s good to feel smart, and boy does this movie make it easy to feel that way.  

THE RULES

SIP

Someone mentions Donnie’s medication or therapy.

The rabbit appears.

A kid swears.

BIG DRINK

The movie starts intercutting between two scenes.

Chest goo.

Date intertitle.

#drinking games #donnie darko #richard kelly #jake gyllenhaal #jena malone #crime #drama #horror #horror & thriller #sci fi #sci-fi & fantasy

[steamed-cogs]

currently thinking about the Cult of the Destroyer and trying to puzzle out the timeline of events. According to Davy (the guy who gives you blueprints for artifacts), his colleague Ronald Hubbott, who we can safely assume is the Great Prophet, had a “ghastly vision foretelling the end of the world” (probably when he met Rusty) and that he’s been holed up in the Temple of the Destroyer since.

It’s unclear how long Rusty was with them. Ronald says that “he [Rusty] granted us a doomsday device! Then he left again”, but Ronald mentions ‘a’ device even though there are three in the cult’s possession (two in the TOTD, one in the Temple of Guidance).

Fen explicitly states that Ronald is the one who brought them from Vectron to the Temple of Guidance, but it’s not stated why or on whose orders. Rusty doesn’t react to seeing Fen before the final boss, so the cultists probably went behind his back when they did that.

You can probably guess that this whole situation is the thing I have the most questions about in regard to the story.

The timeline is a little vague, isn't it? Personally, I wanna know how long there is between Dig 1 and 2. As for Fen, it's possible Rusty may not have reacted to them because they were in an urgent situation and telling Dot what was happening and that she needed to go was more important, but I yeah, I agree that he didn't know. If they had met, Fen probably would have mentioned it to Dot.

#asks

[thedarkmistress16]

Do you have any app or mobile game to suggest? QwQ I wanna try playing something new

OOF there's so many mobile games I'm listing so prepare yourself

BATTLE CATS is the shit. Tough levels at points but there is a semblance of progress to be had. They added a lot of events and extra shit so it might be overwhelming for new people. i have no idea tho I barely started playing it again.

I'm a lover of the solitare genres (klondike and spider) but ugh the ads. I really only like them for the virtual customization of the themes that desktop comps dont provide enough of and having something offline to play on the go. ive been getting better at the four suit spider games, tho- i can feel my brain learning. 😁

Bingo games are fun! I don't have any one in particular I like the best, tho. Been a while since I played them.

Tinker Island 1 has great progression and you have the opportunity to collect the paid currency constantly, building up your gem vault. I like the garden minigame more than the actual gameplay XD.

I like Marvel Puzzle Quest for the match-3 gameplay with the marvel aesthetic. I'd recc. to play this one casually because progression is nonexistent with AND without $.

On the topic of match games, Bejeweled is a classic. 😊 I loved the butterfly rescue one back in the day and poker version was fun too- the tension is just MWAH.

Grand Summoners is for some reason spending a lot of money in ads because I'm seeing it everywhere despite having it on the exact device I'm seeing the ads on??? I'm not saying it's a problem it's just odd, lol. Micromanaging gear and teams will implode your brain but there is some strategy to it, even if you try to auto everything. They have crossover events all the time, on top of progression being kinda slow but still possible, and I'm quite happy with unexpectedly pulling a Hatsune Miku and evolving her. 😊

I would recc. trying out Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Links out for a test run to see if the grind is up your alley. Very generous with rarity tickets the last time I played it.

For another simple game, billiards are fun too, and easier to play digitally than in real life, lol. You will be playing against other humans all the time, tho.

Injustice 1 or 2 and Marvel Contest of Champions have their own pros and cons, but both are finger-input fighting/brawl games with IPs so it depends on asthetic and progression i guess? If I had to choose tho, I would say Injustice is more organized in its content than Champions if that makes any sense?

Best Fiends is a cute and neat lil' bubble draw and pop game that has some progression to it, but it's been a while since I played it. Surprising for me that I even like this one since the mascots are cartoony insects.

Color Puzzle is a gradient-building/color-matching puzzle game. I played it during my art class and it made me more aware of how colors react next to each other though it can hurt your eyes.

Visual novel story/chapter games are ones you need to curate yourself to figure out which one you'll want to sit through. Chapters has sexual/explicit stories but a beefy reward system compared to Choices from what I remember, plus community engagement/contests. This likely could have changed now- I haven't checked. Other apps have (slightly) animated characters/establishing shots and some are more customizable in the protagonist and reputation systems (romance or otherwise). They all blended together in my mind like a big soup of colors, but i will tell you that the paid currency choices are never worth it.

(Pixel) Color-by-number games are fun pastimes until they hurt your eyes and drain your device battery.

South Park Phone Destroyer was fun for a bit. Until it wasn't.

Dream Girlfriend is the best Ambition gacha/character simulation game they have, prove me wrong.

side note: have you ever played a mobile game that got deleted? one that was solely a play-to-win that was also fun in general and you were close to maxing out your characters? yeah, it's worse than the pain you feel when you discover your fave fic has been deleted from the internet😢

#ask for moi #list of moi #fs in chat for: #fallen princess #monster strike #please dont give your money to mobile apps i beg it is not worth it dont be like me and throw money in a game that dies #and we can't forget the messy disaster that was the transition of voltage romances to love 360

[gothchildvirtue]

"Jester of the Future"

Coarse sensuousness detected tempted yet cautious with the temptress; my senses reject all interested pretense without question in the vast sea of drowning superficial normies, singing sirens, epcine wicked knights and useless gnosis,

Fortunatly the adaptation of my decisive individuation kept me a fish out of water puzzled at all times, next to envious, vain, vicious emotional vampires allowed euthanasia by the lies of dark empaths, blatant malice tied to their visceral fear of change, mundane satire, lab mice, and the self righteous reverence of god complexes contending for superior status, how comparable they are to all the rest,

Studying my vector between me and the enemy knowing where to spend I strike with great frugality in decisions. Looking at minutes like Shillings; counting backward the clock each tik a Pence lost, I toss the dice, not thinking twice about the cost of two Pounds per beat of my heart that 'twas and living my life not resistant to the resistance I endure in an uphill climb with my cause costing evermore Quid; contrarily my battery is on unlimited 1%,

Space time contworted; monotonous these insipid npc puppets around me I despise, conditioned by rewards they play the game and lose when they win, blinded by the chains of temptation their natural state is sin. The jokers not really laughing, and phantasms follow your every step from a hidden dimension betting on which side you will end,

She jumped off a building and her terrified screaming while falling many miles away woke me up at 3 in the morning violently to a text that she was dead; I felt a wicked presence lingering in my room for a second and then it left: R.I.P. Eden and yes this creepy event actually happened,

I'm saddened a single predetermined ember sets a fire a whole forrest from generational curses, and seven broken archaic archetypes that simmer and suck the soul out of life in an all too common stride, fogging the moon in smoke with a lunatic fashion they ablaze ghouls on a pyre also burning the ashes of many mad black magi who conspire with destroyer of worlds,

Walk in the way and yield to the order of orders; the deathless drawing out of the darkness of night a child of the light banishes evil by doing right in the pernicious eternal paranormal evening sky we frequently forget to internalize!

#darkpoet #poet #poetry #poem #poets on tumblr #oldsoul-oddsoul #poetsofinstagram

[bouvillea]

I will leave this here

#mabinogi #art #dailydoodle21 #G25 #personally don't think my Milletian would take the sword or even try to recreate it #it's an instrument of death and depending on which choice you picked it could have been what you used to strike the final blow #for me though? I'm trying to get another one-hand scroll so I can dual wield it lmao #Destroyer Puzzle Event

[kaissauce]

okay, phucker, do it

ok let's do this @rolli-zolli @ninikins

Horrortale: technically an alternate timeline instead of au. after a neutral run where undyne's queen the core malfunctions and food becomes scarce and people resort to eating humans because sans suggested it. Aliza is the protag. latest thing that happened in the ongoing comic was Aliza agreeing to go with Papyrus to solve his last puzzle. as for the appearance of sans he has a HUGE hole on his head and a red eye. he got the hole from undyne when she got his magic eye which was going to be used to power the core. sans didnt die tho and killed the guards holding him down and just took whatever eye was on the ground and used it as a replacement for his magic eye that's powering the core. i quote first words he said after putting the eye in his socket "who the fuck took my phone?". then the magic eye went apeshit and broke the core again. oh and also he made alphys braindead by quite literally scrambling her brain. yeah this au is rough sans hasn't really eaten anything since the core was destroyed since he decided not to eat any humans.

Dusttale: i think this was originally a korean au? basic rundown: too many genocide runs sans goes apeshit and tries to get his Lv up by killing monsters himself man went fuckin insane kills his brother blah blah blah edgy angsty au the ghost of papyrus haunts him n stuff. sans literally just looks the same except he has his hood on and sometimes artists draw him with papyrus's scarf. the cool artists draw him with his hood on and has the hood completely cover his face so u can only see his glowing pupils. although people call him dust sans he's actually named murder sans

Killer: so frickin similar to dusttale except sans goes apeshit because of the human being like "join me lmao". three different outcomes come from this. i think it was 1 sans joins human 2 sans joins human kills human later on 3 kills human or something. friends with color sans who is basically his impulse control. pretty sure his soul's fucked up and Color sans tries to make his soul un-fucked but Nightmare comes in and fucks up the progress. he has white shorts, his eye sockets are constantly pitch black and leaking tar or something also has a weird target thingy on his chest. OH YEAH ALSO HE HAS BEEF WITH UNDERSWAP SANS ALMOST FORGOT. basically swap sans tried to make killer good and then they had a fight, swap sans lost and was on the verge of dying thankfully swap papyrus was able to save him in time i think

Dreamtale: Dream isn't in the drawing but his brother, Nightmare is. Sooo he used to not look all goooy and have tentacles n stuff but then he ate a couple hundred apples and yeah. he's six years old apparently. Nightmare and Dream are supposed to be guardians of a tree that has 500 golden apples and 500 black n goopy apples. the golden aples are positive and the goop ones are negative. you're not supposed to eat either of them cus bad shit happens. Dream and Nightmare live in a village and for whatever reason they're all dicks to Nightmare because ooughh he's the guardian of negativity that's not baller. he also goes apeshit (do u see a pattern here) and eats a goopy apple n then becomes the goop man he is today. he fuckin eats 999 apples jesus christ. and the last one is eaten by Dream because if u eat all 1000 apples u become unstoppable and immortal. so that would be a bad thing if nightmare got the last one. wop wop wop these dude aren't sanses they only have the body of one if that makes sanse.

Error: manlet. he's literally an error and that's why he's like that. also he's technically not a sans now, the redesign for him was so that he could be in the creator's webcomic named Lucidia. Error sans, aka the destroyer of aus, finds aus to be mistakes so he tries to get rid of them. his process of doing this is simple: get the human soul to the void so that they can't reset, destroy the au. he primarily attacks using his strings which can wrap around one's soul and control them. he like some aus like outertale because of how open and empty it is. he likes to be alone and has haphephobia. if u touch him he'll glitch out and possibly crash. he crashes whenever gets overwhelmed. said crashing causes him to shut down and reboot and he's powerless while doing so. he's actually pretty easy to beat if you know how to push his buttons the right way. in the og ask error blog made by his creator Loverofpiggies he kidnaps Swap sans who tries to help Error become a better person. this ends horribly as error leaves Swap sans in the void who then becomes an error aswell due to being alone in the void too long. Error actually regrets doing that to swap sans

Aftertale: OK FUN FACT THE SANS OF THIS AU, WHO'S NICKNAMED "Geno" IS ERROR. aftertale is a comic made by LoverofPiggies it's been SOOOO long since i last read it so i cant really give a good summary. but anyways Geno is trapped in the loading screen with the human and will die if he leaves the loading screen. eventually from being in the loading screen for too long after the events of aftertale he becomes Error.

OOF WOWIE THERE'S SO MUCH TO GO

Underfresh: he's not even a sans either. "Fresh" is a parasite inhabiting a skeleton. his birthday is on 4/20 which is ironic cus he doesn't like drugs. he censors swears. he speaks 90's lingo and dresses like a neon sign. for some reason he has eyebrows and a gold tooth. the glasses he has can change text but normally defaults to "YOLO". he can't feel anything since he has no soul of his own and just latches onto the host's. instead he learns how to act from the people around him. not being able to feel actually bothers him a LOT

Echotale: Aka Gaster sans. uhhh this one was also a comic if i remember correctly. basically Frisk and G!Sans are the only ones in the au and they're trying to find the core to fix the fucked up timeline that they're in but the core keeps changing positions so that sucks.

Swapfell: originally made by Khhoppang who left social media. Started out as an Alphys x Undyne au so only those two were designed but Kh was planning to design more of the characters. before they could people had a field day with the idea of mashing two aus together and SO many people came up with their own designs for sans and papyrus. Khhoppang left social media because they got overwhelmed with all the art reposters and stuff, pretty sad. the appearance of the sans in that au is the purple one with a scythe (i dont think he has a scythe in the og design).

Swapfell Red: so basically this is the swapfell made by people that isn't Khhoppang. community made per se. Sans's appearance changes constantly because as said before many people made many different designs. typically he just looks like Swap sans but with red high heel boots and his color scheme fits underfell

Fellswap (gold): Au made by blackggggum. so swapfell is underswap turned fell, fell swap is underfell swapped it takes a bit to understand that. his appearance is somewhat similar to Swapfell red. He's kind to his friends but if ur his enemy he'll fucking deck you. he's blind in his left eye, the leader of the royal guard, and secretly into dressmaking. fun fact in this au Papyrus has autism

Xtale: uuuuhhhh so Cross is a complicated one. he's part of the royal guard along with papyrus. has beef with xgaster. responsible for the downfall of his au and then Underverse happens and Ink is all "oh cool someone to mess with" and they became friends for a bit then shit hit the fan

Underfell: OOOOO YES UNIRONICALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITES. So Underfell sans is actually a very powerful mf and constantly has his magic eye activated because he has so much magic. This au is also technically an alternate timeline where monsters "lost their humanity" as the creator put it. so basically trust in the underground is scarce. Sans and papyrus, contrary to many interpretations i fucking hate, are actually on good terms (and no sans doesn't call papyrus "boss" the creator said if he does he'd do it ironically and papyrus would hate it). Fun facts he pays Grillby in socks (grillby accepts the socks as payment and wears them), if u make grillby laugh he gives u a jacket that looks like his and it's heavily implied that sans made him laugh because their jackets are similar

Underswap: ah yes another classic that i love as well. originally made by PopcornPr1nce who fled social media because they hated how the majority fandom treated Underswap (Blueberry and Carrot were popular names for the fanon swap papyrus and sans). Swap sans is constantly infantilized by the community which sucks and i hate it so i draw my own very super cool version of him whom i kin because i am also very super cool.

Outertale: mainly an aesthetic au pretty sure there's no comic of it. basically, instead of underground they in space. outer sans dies in underverse after like minutes of screentime lmao

Epictale: a comic made by Yugogeer. the og comic was retconned and the creator loathes the original version and made a reboot that's much better. Sans actually dies very early in it because Yugo hates how Sans is almost always focused on in aus. also the creator hates how meme-y their sans has become (like him saying bruh every single sentence, using a rubber chicken as a weapon, cookies, etc.) he's friends with Cross but not in canon. He has a purple magic eye that makes him immortal and i think only epic gaster could remove it which is how sans was able to be killed when he fought gaster.

Temmietale: it's undertale but everyone is temmie, don't question it

Trainertale: it's undertale but it's Pokemon, don't question it

Dancetale: it's undertale but you dance instead of fight, don't

Mobtale/Mafiatale: im unsure if mobtale and mafiatale are separate or not but they are very similar. basically undertale but mafia it's self explanatory

Undertale: no clue which au is this one, nope not at all/j

Bittytale or whatever idk: so take sans, make him small. boom. never understood this au

THAT BASTARD INK: HOOO BOY SAVED THE WORST FOR LAST. FUCK THIS GUY/j. THIS DUDE. IS THE REASON IM STILL INTO UNDERTALE AUS. I LOVE EM SO MUCH. also technically not a sans. He comes from an unfinished au and ripped his own soul to escape said au and became an outcode. for so long he was just a soulless husk until someone drew him and he got splashed with paint which let him feel. soon he learned to keep the paint in vials so that he can be able to feel 24/7. And then he learned how to create things with a paintbrush and the paint and spent time alone drawing up his own world until a portal appeared and took him to the multiverse. now he encourages artists to keep creating aus. he's the protector of aus in the sense that he keeps other outcodes from disrupting the script of the au, so if it's pacifist and an outcode tries to kill people he'd stop them, if it's genocide and an outcode tried to help them he'd stop them. no matter what he wants the au to stay on script. fun fact the creator of ink and the creator of error never had them interact with each other in canon, that was all the fandom's doing. Contrary to popular belief he's not really considered "good" his alignment is officially "Chaotic neutral". I personally interpret him a lot more chaotic than in canon because it's fun but he's a pretty chill guy actually. he can just be a bit of an ass sometimes. According to the creator of Ink (who is Comyet) his interpretation in Underverse is not canon compliant. one of the biggest canon things that underverse contradicts is Ink deliberately not taking his vials. if he were to do that in canon he'd become a husk again which is the equivalent of him "dying". he was described as a walking corpse by Comyet, without the vials he can't function anymore. Like Error he's pretty easy to beat if you know his weaknesses. also he has fears of empty spaces and being alone

off topic kinda but i very much love how Error and Ink are opposites yet parallel even though they were completely written without the other in mind. Error believes getting rid of aus is getting rid of anomalies. Ink believes people interfering with aus are anomalies. Error loves emptiness, Ink hates emptiness. list goes on it's funky fresh.

also uhhh sanses missing from that drawing that i can name from the top of my head

Seraphim sans, Insans, Dusttrust, He who shall not be named because he's from an 18+ au, Swapswap (yes. that exists), Storyshift, Inverted Fate (very good au i suggest checking it out), Negatale, Oceantale, Template, Pale, Mafiafell, Farmtale

my phone is at 9% y'all are spared from me going on

#long post #ask #ninikins #rolli zolli

[zirkkun-uthcs]

JSJDJSJS sorry about that. For the dead x event thing, xtale chara, error, fresh and Cross please?

The original prompt for those who missed it!:

Also this got a bit swear-y lol apologies if you're less okay with profanity;;

&&&

XTale!Chara - Oh, he’s pissed. Like, without a doubt, wholly pissed off. XChara’s sadness has just overfilled him with such a rage that he can’t even moderately control it anymore. I just can’t have anything, can I? Well, then, no one else can either. He's done. Absolutely done. At this point, what does it matter? Most people are just shells of whatever the hell XGaster's making now anyway. What is even the point? If he can't have the one thing in the entire multiverse that even remotely made him feel happiness for the first time in multiple lifetimes, then why does anyone else deserve happiness either? Why do husks of artificial life deserve more happiness than he does, a living, breathing person, who was always that way and unaltered by this ridiculous "reality."

No one else deserves happiness.

Especially not XFrisk.

Especially not XFrisk.

XChara will stop at nothing. Why would he? He has nothing left. There's no thing or person out there with any willpower over him. And he won't stop until there's no one left that even thinks so.

Error - Ink you fucking bastard.

Error can only blame Ink.

What else can he do?

Nothing, really.

He's supposed to be the destroyer of the multiverse, not Ink. He picks and chooses what gets to stay and what gets to go. Not Ink. And that was no where near close to what he would have destroyed. In fact, that was the farthest from what he would have destroyed. Fuck, he hates it, but Error knows that if he was left to kill them on his own or face his own demise, he'd be dead. He wouldn't be able to hurt them. He cared about them too much.

Ink just has to always ruin his life.

Well, if that bastard wants destruction over the multiverse, then that's what he'll get. But Error's not re-creating it, no. Frankly, if there are those who live outside the multiverse, wouldn't that assume there are then multiverses within a multiverse?

If this is the timeline where everything goes to shit, well, then nothing of this multiverse should be left alive.

Fresh - Eh. Not a big deal, really. Nothing about this whole XEvent whatever is really bothering him one way or another. It's just kind of annoying, really. Can't he just do what he normally does without this disturbance. Ugh. Well, he knows who he can complain to...

Oh.

Oh, no. He doesn't, actually, now that he thinks about it. Ah, yes, that's right. Dead people don't speak. They're just... dead. Reduced to nothing. Hm. Why does it feel like he's... missing something? Fresh has never felt this way before. It's as if a piece of him was cut out while he wasn't looking, and now he doesn't know where that puzzle piece went. He doesn't really feel upset necessarily, just... lost.

What does he do now?

Ah, there... There'll be another piece that'll fit the hole at some point. There's gotta be. Puzzles aren't that unique, there's only so many combinations and shapes, haha... ha...

... right?

XTale!Sans - Realization. Sadness. Fury. And a final realization that lashing out... again... will only cause further pain. does it matter? Yes, it matters. There's nothing he can do. Cross has gone through pain again and again, lost those he's cared about over and over, he can handle it one more time. That's it, right? Just once more. Something else can happen that's good, right? The multiverse isn't just filled with despair for him, right? He didn't just lose the one thing that will ever bring him joy... right? There's somewhere up from here... right?

Oh, who is he kidding. He's lying to himself. No one gets what they want here. He's barely his own person. Sure, he's living and breathing... but does that mean anything? No. Not with XGaster around. But he'd be a fool to try and fight that bastard again, especially on his own.

Haha... then again... does it really matter what he does... if there's no one left who cares about him?

#undertale #undertale au #undertale headcanon #undertale x reader #xtale #xtale headcanon #xtale x reader #errortale #errortale headcanon #errortale x reader #underfresh #underfresh headcanon #underfresh x reader #xtale!chara #error #fresh #xtale!sans #cross #uthcs headcanon #zircon answers #anonymous #underverse!error #death mention tw//

[ninastarkov]

The poetic justice and character arcs in this last episode though??? Can we just go through this—

okay first—Victoria Hand shoots Garrett. THAT was perfect. And now in that timeline, Ward will be trained by her. She gets rid of the man who orders her death.

Enoch puts all the pieces together. He ensures that Fitz, his best friend, can regain his family. And when the chronicoms receive empathy, and the team asks if they’re on their side, they say “as we have always been”—a callback to Enoch’s final words, “as I have always been.”

There are many references to putting the pieces together or something similar, which reminds me of one of Skye’s big lines in season 1: “One person doesn’t have all of the solution, but 100 people with 1% of the solution?...Pieces solving a puzzle. I think that’s beautiful.”

Daisy kills Nathaniel and saves Kora—killing the man who tore her family apart and saving one piece of it, too.

And CHARACTER ARCS:

Deke Shaw. He stays behind, for real this time. It completes his arc from a self-centered guy who only cares about his own survival, to a member of a team, a family. He’s willing to sacrifice for someone else, even though another person volunteered to do so. He just wants Daisy to be happy. And the other piece of his character arc—from a man who was always a loner, to a part of a team, to the future leader of shield. Ridiculous, yes, but also perfect.

FITZSIMMONS FINALLY GET A HAPPY ENDING. Need I say more? They deserve it more than anyone. They went from scared scientists to incredibly capable ones that could hold their own in a fight, but it was never a weakness that they couldn’t fight like some of the others. Their strengths were just as important, until the very end. They have found each other again and again, and now they can stay together.

Melinda May. She goes from a woman haunted by her past, closed off and alone, to someone who is warm and kind and has faced her demons and moved past them. She has forgiven herself for Bahrain, has learned to express her emotions, and now her arc is complete. She calls herself the cavalry because she has accepted that part of her past and she is no longer ashamed. She’s a teacher now, which perfectly represents how she knocked down her own walls and is willing to engage with the world, with others.

Elena Rodriguez. I have so many emotions about her arc in this whole season. We learn that her limits are self imposed because of events from her past. She learns that she doesn’t always have to bounce back right away, that not doing so does not make her lesser or less of herself. And this lets her unlock her full abilities as an inhuman. Yoyo will bounce back, but not because she has to—because she wants to. In the end she is an agent for Mack, working with Piper and DAVIS! From the start, she has wanted to do good for the world, and that hasn’t changed. She’s out in the field changing the world.

Alphonso Mackenzie. Mack. He becomes director of a new SHIELD, complete with a fury trench coat. He started off as just the mechanic, a man who didn’t want to fight and break, but fix things. Throughout his time on shield he did become a fighter, but never one who lost sight of his original goals. Mack’s arc shows us that you can fight for good reasons. You can fight without losing yourself and your morals. Him being director is perfect because he can guide shield by his code—to do good above all else.

Daisy Johnson. From Mary Sue Poots to Skye to Daisy to Quake to Destroyer of Worlds and back to Daisy. Daisy started off as a hacker with no one. She was alone, with no family and nothing to be a part of. But shield gave her a family and a cause. Her blood family history was always tragic, but she learned that her parents didn’t define her, and managed to save her sister in the end. By this season she has accepted who she was and who she is. She has learned about her powers and they are a part of her that she is not afraid of. She has lost so much, but keeps going despite it because she has a family, now, and she will do all she can to protect them. And once Daisy has finally accepted all of herself, enter Daniel Sousa—a man who will help her up when she falls down and be by her side as she changes the galaxy. I think it works for Daisy to end up with someone because she found herself before she found Sousa. She is whole without him but he will always be there for her, and makes her happy. Daisy has a family, is happy, by the end.

And Phil Coulson. Phil, who has died so many ways and still comes back fighting, who has always been selfless and kind, put together this family and gave these people a home. After 7 seasons of choosing others, in the end he chooses himself. Phil’s life belongs to him, whatever he wants to do with it. His future may be unknown, but he wants to see the world before he decides. He’ll see May, too. Coulson is what brought the team together, is who built shield up from its shattered pieces. None of this would exist without him.

A Spy’s Goodbye (well, a regular goodbye) to Agents of Shield.

#agents of shield #aos finale #agents of shield season 7 #daisy johnson #fitzsimmons #jemma simmons #leo fitz #daniel sousa #elena rodriguez #yoyo #alphonso mackenzie #phil coulson #melinda may #deke shaw #enoch #aos s7 #aos spoilers

[ettawritesnstudies]

Storge Edit Update Ch. 11

(links to catch up, I didn’t do any dedicated posts for #1-3: here’s 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10)

Stats

57,542 words and 112 pages

This chapter is 4,156 words and 8 pages, on the short side but not bad

This chapter also brings me to my 10k edit goal for August!

spreadsheets and battle logistics are monsters. I’ve done more math for this chapter than I have for my engineering classes so far.

Excerpt

Acheran rubbed his temples, weighing his options and finding them both despicable. “I’m not fighting, Char.”

“I don’t expect you to. But if you could arm us?”

“I don’t want to make weapons. I create, I make, in the spirit of the Artist. The world has enough destroyers as it is.”

Chara prayed for her brother to see reason. “I don’t like it any more than you do.”

“I refuse to let innocent people die by my hand.”

Chara clenched her teeth. “These people are murderers and kidnappers. You were in the arena.They don’t care about innocents. They aren’t innocent.”

“But do they deserve death?”

“Do our people deserve death?!” Chara snapped back. “As painful and slow a death as starvation? When we did nothing to deserve this?”

Acheran dropped his head. “No. It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not.”Chara leveled an even gaze at Acheran. “If this is the only way to bring about justice, I’m willing to take it. Are you?”

Commentary under the cut!

FINALLY I am back to proper editing and not rewriting the entire damn book. Here’s to hoping the next twelve chapters won’t be so painful!

I am a debate nerd. I am a policy geek. I’m the most argumentative contrarian person you’ll ever have the displeasure to meet if you get me going. I am not going into law, to my mother’s chagrin, because irl politics stress me out. But am I going to put that interest into my fiction book. You betcha. This chapter has battle strategy, logistics, stoichiometry, fermi questions about hypothetical population size of a gravity-defying fantasy canyon city, statistics, rhetoric, propaganda, philosophy, the whole deal.

I remember I had a ton of fun writing it, and now that I’ve changed around the timeline, I had a ton of fun rewriting parts to fit the new series of events. I redid all the math just for good measure. It was like making a puzzle where the pieces are hunting down information and progress reports from three chapters ago, balancing the pacing with subplots. I’m really pleased with how it’s turned out so far!

Also, This is the first chapter from Chara’s POV. She’s important, but she’s not one of the main characters, so it was fun to get into her head for a change. her voice is fun, she talks like an academic and a politician, so I get to be pretentious. Acheran is also shaping up to have a really interesting character arc. I wasn’t 1000% sure what to do with him in the first draft, but I’m happy with how he’s developing in this edit. I’m looking forward to seeing what betas think of this scene.

hopefully I’m not the only one who finds court sessions interesting lol

#storgewip #fantasy wip #am writing fantasy #am writing #am editing #storge edit update #storge edit #my writing #writeblr

[captainkurosolaire]

A Noble’s Sacrifice

Shiro paused before drawing a confession here announcing his alarming plan aloud to the rival. “Most-likely... My loathing disdain for you Kuro was caused by being met with something, someone I could’ve only imagined but denied only to be a fantasy. You counter-proved authentic and logistic reasons and fought me numerous times despite the scales being against you. No matter the outcome. Pursuing under all the rugged conditions. Found it admirable, wondering if under that pressure I would’ve made it, my answer often came as no... I was unnerved by that.” “Cause of you, I get why one goes to War.” “Take heed and relinquish yourself from being a ghostly remnant.” “Size up to your calling my foolish... friend.” Finally spoken his feelings. “This world is woven of consuming tormentors like my Father, that oppresses enough throats to dormant silence.” “Acting dead doesn’t contribute to an already wasteland and formless world.” “You... this Crew…” Surveying the aftermath of all his invoked Crew, compared to the other’s Shiro dismantled or had the unpleasantness to meet, this one, had potential. Actual unity and potentially structured. Therefore, where once he was the main destroyer of them and sat on ending. Now it seemed he must steer them a beginning. “New breezes and a sprung age are ripe to be ushered beyond frost.” “Now... I’ll stop this nonsense from reaching a trifling new disaster.” “...This is farewell, pirate.” “Heave forth; let strong wind’s continue your sails.” Stepping with clacking inbound heels closer to the rift and problem at an obvious close distance. “...What had partaken here…” “If any ask of me... point at me, and blame my madness.” Giving one half-turning final cheeky-dimple grin.  

In order to end the destruction, a self-implosion of equal deliverance was required for tribunal sacrifice. Suddenly ice erupted from the Keeper as his palms launched him into the Gateway slit of torment. Colliding with damned, corrupted shrieking marred souls flooded behind and breathed with gripped restraints to tug and pull him into the fray of eternal suffering damnation as he grunted and howled and from the inside began mustering all his demonic teachings and aether into sealing shut a reverse what had been done to open it, his bloodline opened it, so only natural, he was destined for this. A father heinous sin’s would take the son. Gnawing ghoulish souls began festering and devouring his flesh like parasitic fiends. Even under the anguish, he erupted under a higher threshold of residual aether from under the stress. Clustered cracking his veins and tainting his skin ley-lines of aetherial sickness showing signs from the strain. Detonating all his remaining remnants of sacrificial worth.

Kuro under the extended injuries shouted and was rejected from his body to stop this, he wanted another outcome than this. Unrecognized until the very end just how closely the two really were and similar. Only figuring it out at the end. “Noooooooooo! SHIRO!” An eruptive animistic outcry exploded from the mourning Captain. If it were capable he’d be pounding numb fist over repetitively and breaking his already damaged hand on the soil being useless to prevent this sacrifice this time around. Sure, the Keeper slaughtered his crew and was an arch-nemesis and thorn but over time they were both flawed acting only under their limited instincts to grant survival to what they treasured the most. They were from other spectrum's of the world. They were forging something to go and build something brighter and better, especially within themselves. “Bastard! Bastard! BASTARD!!!” Consumed to denial, he wanted to take Elune and offer him a place to his stead, company if anything! Or let him see a new horizon with love and life. To see how wonderful it is to appreciate even the smallest moments than shedding worry about everything having to be planned perfection or extravagantly glamorous. He was an uncut diamond but that rich life never subsided shimmering in insurmountable weight. One to aspire who never shredded to cater others or sought to change his core from a false approval. The pirate had never met anyone who cared that much for a nation to have such pride for it. Despite being an outcast in an Elezen dominated circle. He never deterred once, all for the sake of his half-sister. Often enemies are strictly born from envy. They got to see what the other would be like. When one was deprived in light and basked in dark, the other contrasted in compliment. They complimented as if they were two pieces to an unsolved puzzle. Without him, there was no balance... and right here after this recent event, it felt they finally were on the same page especially after their ‘forbidden’ merge. This death struck, a grave loss emptied a pit deeper than any previous wound and ripped chords. As it was the distasteful, never accounted for. He planted a face and bashed his own head into the pavement before loss, disheartened, and cursed himself into a steep of deep unconsciousness. A doomsday veil closed as Shiro’s light successfully accomplished closing the rupture and things returned as if nothing had taken place. Formerly referred to villain once, father, mentor, nobleman, unparalleled nationalist, savant scholar, and stupendous prideful fighter perished to protect and shield something finally successful, with all his dark vanity. Finding his integrity.

                                      (Previous) <<  >> (Next)

                                                    The End

#The first cord broken before a dark terrible year began. #Epilogue #= #Soon #This sets the motions #For an unprecedented flood #Immortal Age Saga Closure #Next stuff will change from Dark Fantasy and Hyper Magic etc #Thinking finally getting to some more bare-pirate tribunal stuff #Still be pretty hardcore tho #Slice of life things between that ideally #Maybe some lighthearted comedy stuff too #Show off more attributes of Crew #Thanks for any who read through em all or if enjoyed #Compendium Soon < -- #Lots of SHIZZ < --- #Had to atleast give visual to this climatic end #creative writing

[sooibian]

Freed

image from Pinterest, edited by me

Pairing: Baekhyun x Fem!Reader

A/N: Dedicated to smol bby @vampwrrr ’s magnificent mistresspiece Sweet Lies

Inspired by: I’m sorry about the blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine - Richard Siken +

Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations - Margaret Atwood

Description: A headcanon exploring SL OC’s thoughts after Baekhyun’s confession.

Genre/Warnings: Dark themes, destructive thoughts, Ambiguous AU

Word count: ~ 1.3k

Mollycoddling a murderer.

This isn’t how you thought you’d react. Not in your wildest dreams. In your wildest dreams, you’d probably strike him with a vase or a glass bottle like they do in the movies: out of horror or hurt or both. His head was supposed to be on the floor, completely drained off of blood, not solaced in the comfort of your lap.

This isn’t how you were raised to react. It went against everything you ever believed to be true - the bits and pieces that made you you. The rationalization of the black and white and the in-between. But you know now that the in-between isn’t what they say it is. The in-between isn’t grey. It’s technicolour. It’s the red of passion, the blue of stability, the yellow of happiness. 

They say it’s grey because they’re so terrified of their own sentiments - resisting them so vehemently. Desensitizing themselves to being almost human. 

Perhaps they’ve never been in a love this…grave. Grave. You swish the word in your mouth like an ice cube, the insides of your cheeks feeling unpleasantly cold. Grave. Like it’s going to be the death of you. 

This love. 

You thought you had a choice in the matter. Whatever it may be, you always had a choice. The sheer ridiculousness of this thought makes you chuckle - your yeses and noes never mattered. You’ve been nothing more than a dry leaf caught in the wind. Drifting. Dancing to the whims of the air current. 

Decisions, decisions. 

So much wasted time on the events you had no control over: it had been one giant, extensive freefall. The happiness, the suffering. It was all beyond you. You weren’t required to piece the puzzle, only make sense of it. 

Or not. 

Baekhyun’s asleep, his breathing is levelled. Scarily soft. This is the calm after the storm. He’s come clean. Is this supposed to purge him of his sins?

Questions. So many questions. 

Is he worthy of your trust? But, do you still hold him accountable for it? Accountable for his own actions? Maybe. Accountable for you? Questions…questions…

Dangling, devoid of control, perhaps to him you were a puppet. A plaything. Maybe his favourite plaything. Yet, just that. But does this negate his feelings? Even if it was all just an act: to lure you in, to keep you forever. Doesn’t mean it was untrue. It couldn’t have been. Not all of it.

There’s a gossamer-thin line between surreal and untrue.

You’ve always wondered, much to your detriment, if you were ever worthy of his love. Would you be able to carry the weight of this question or sink underneath it. But this question still stands: very valid in its own right. It often sprouts prickly seeds of negativity in your heart and mind. So you shove down the deepest darkest corner of your subconscious: hacking it off every time it rears its ugly head. 

So, are you worthy? Have you ever been worthy? For a moment, even?

Baekhyun is the embodiment of for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…

‘til death do us part. 

Maybe he’d be better qualified to gauge your worthiness. Maybe he’d even think of it as futile. Maybe none of this ever mattered to him for as long as you’d let him love you.

Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations.

….as long as you’d let him love you. You find a juvenile sense of comfort in this idea of having some semblance of control.

So, what now? You think, stroking his pretty little head that holds secrets so profoundly tragic. How does this earthen vessel, entirely made up of milk and honey and one trauma, not disintegrate by the sheer impact of its choices?

Would anybody actually believe this? Your ever so sweet and puppy-like Baekhyun was actually capable of acts this despicable? Your saviour was also a destroyer because of the one heinous thing he witnessed. The one thing that so terribly skewed the chemical balance of his brilliant brain. But aren’t we all bent out of shape? In our own way? Who’s to be the judge of these imbalances? How much is too much? At what point do the scales tip?

If you were to turn him in, who’s to say he’d come out a changed man?

If they ever let him out, that is.

He’s not the absolute worst of the lot. He’s not a wife-beater, a cheater, or a rapist. Maybe you’re rationalizing. But some would even argue that The Reaper is actually scrubbing the earth off its scum. Is this supposed to make him a hero? 

He’s no hero, he’s no vigilante.

He’s your husband.

Who’s loved you unequivocally, albeit in his own twisted way. He is your husband. And you are going to protect him. You’re not going to turn him in. You’re not losing the one person that’s loved you this catastrophically. 

It all boils to one question.

“Baekhyun? Sweetheart?”

You’re as gentle as you’d be with a newborn. But he awakens with a shudder and sits across from you: hunched, cross legged, hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot, brows pinched together, lips protruding in a pout. The seam of your trousers had imprinted a reddish dent across his right cheek.

“It’s alright, puppy. It’s alright”, the tips of your fingers tenderly travel the stretch of his face: relearning, tracing his eyelashes, the curve of his lips, his jaw, his cute little nose.

“Little doe, don’t leave”, he pulls away and begins to cry, sobs muffled as he presses his face into his hands. 

“I’m here, Baekhyunie. I’m here”, you grip his wrist, tugging, urging him to look at you.

“Always?” 

His gaze shoots up to meet yours. Steady. Challenging.

“Baekhyun…”

“Always?” 

Testing.

“Baekhyun, please…”

“Sorry, I’m sorry…I’m not right for you..I never have been. You deserve better, you deserve more! If you want to leave, I understand…”

Your skin is raw, it’s sensitive. Like you’re reborn out of red hot flames. Pure. Clean. Carrying no cuts and bruises of the past. Maybe this is what it feels like.

Being in control.

Finally.

“Baekhyun, can you stop?”

His eyes bore into yours, journeying the bottomless pit of your soul. You catch his molten chocolate irises darken in a flash. Jaw clenched, hands hardened into fists, he rasps through gritted teeth -

“No.”

You take his fists and bring them up to your lips, peppering them with soft kisses, soothing them open. Then, the tips of his fingers. Slow, deliberate pecks. His eyes, although calculating and unsure, soften again, lips ease into a mellow smile. 

You make your way into his lap, cup his face, his lips barely an inch from yours. The nearly domineering grip of his arms around your waist steadying you. Inside and out.

He’s truly a work of art. Deeply unsettling, thought-provoking. An enigma. The pain that runs so deep in his blood, you wish to tear it away from him. However ruinous it may end up being. For him. 

For you.

You run your thumb across his lower lip, his eyes flutter shut almost involuntarily at the contact. Blood rushes to your head as your lips crash into his and a breath escapes him in a throaty groan. 

He tastes like iron. 

Leisurely at first, he’s quick to match your fervour then just like that, he outpaces you, leaving you gasping for each breath. His fingers dig deep into the skin of your back. Craving, yet carrying the potential to crush your bones to dust.

You’d let him. 

A/N: Thank you @changshapatrol​ and @vampwrrr​ for being my friends *pouts* i love you both very much 💕

#exosnet #exowritersnet #bbh-net #exo angst #baekhyun angst #exo smut #baekhyun smut #exo #baekhyun

[rainplaysswtor]

Rain Plays SWTOR: Full Index

If you enjoy these guides and find them helpful please like and share!

Player Guides and Tips New Player Tips Surviving Toxic Players Avoiding the Fleet Tatooine Shortcut to Avoid Outlaws Den Rest Up Avoiding Shared Tagging

Tech Fragment Suggestions Decos on a Budget Part 1 Decos on a Budget Part 2 Contending with Bugs Light It Up: Illuminated Armor Avoiding GTN Gouging Preparing for Preferred Preparing for Preferred Pt. 2 Unlocks Worth Considering

Reputation 101 Curing Womp Rat Fever!

Flashpoints A Traitor Among the Chiss Athiss (solo) Hammer Station (solo) Call to Arms #1: Boarding Party Call to Arms #2: The Foundry Spirit of Vengeance Directive 7 The Nathema Conspiracy Crisis on Umbara False Emperor

Other missions Dread Seeds/Seeker Droids Solo Macrobinoculars Solo (most of it) Pt. 1 Macrobinoculars Solo (most of it) Pt. 2 Macrobinoculars - Video of Maki'Voro fight solo Veteran Star Fortresses Veteran Star Fortresses Revisited Veteran Star Fortresses: Exarch Fight Video Veteran Star Fortresses: Exarch Fight 2 Video Mek-Sha Explorer Mek-Sha Tradehouse Missions Saboteur Quests Echoes of Oblivion Galactic Seasons Help Galactic Seasons Help 2 Where to Find Instanced Mobs HK-51 Quest Chain Flirron Friend - Onderon Loyalist and Saboteur Locations More Loyalist and Saboteur Locations

Swoop Bike Rally Extra Area on Ziost KOTET Voss Walker, KOTET Chapter 1 How to Save Bergola and her friends, KOTET chapter 6 Uprisings

Part 1: Firefrost, Fractured, Crimson Fang Part 2: Inferno, Divided We Fall, Trench Runner Part 3: Landing Party, Destroyer of Worlds Pt 4: Trial and Error Uprising Achievements and Finding the Inferno Agent Bosses Defeating Revan (solo, Shadow of Revan fight) HK-47: The Foundry Vaylin: KOTET

Daily areas/Events Oricon Black Hole: End of Torvix Puzzle Rakghoul Tunnels Sensors Matrix Shards Section X: Aurora Cannon Easy/Fun/Pointless Quests

Harlow Ricks The DvL Holocrons Yavin 4 Sensors Companions Optional Companions: Reviews

[kimvvantae]

puzzle; 6 (m)

➜  you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?

pairing: jungkook x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au

warnings: lots of swearing, unprotected sex (use condoms y’all kids)

rating: 18+

word count: 13k wooohoooooo

A/N: i listened to the same 4 songs over and over again while writing and i think it kind of sets the mood for this chapter so hm if you guys like listening to music while reading here goes a small playlist:

Jungkook - If you (read the lyrics pls)

Whitesnake - Is This Love

BTS - Jamais Vu

Sam Smith - Lay Me Down

enjoy!

➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!

« playlist »

“You’re acting weird.”

You finally look up when you hear this, just to see Hoseok frowning at you.

“I’m not.” You’re quick to say, shrugging.

“You’re really acting weird. Is everything okay?” Hoseok insists, crossing his arms.

Hoseok is not what bothers you the most, though, but another pair of eyes watching you like a hawk.

Jimin knows why you’re acting weird. Since that day at Joy’s house, he has been staring at you like this constantly - half judging, half worried. 

It’s very annoying, to be honest.

“I’m just… a little bit stressed.” You admit, shrugging again. Fortunately, Hoseok isn’t as observant as Jimin, so he seems convinced.

“So, what did you guys want?” You ask, changing the topic. They came after you in the cafeteria while you have lunch after all.

“Ah! I almost forgot,” Hoseok starts. “You quit your job at the coffee shop, right?”

“Yes. It was way too stressful and my boss was a bitch.” You huff. 

“So you’ll be free this weekend?” He asks. You nod, but if he’s about to invite you to a party or something, you’re ready to say no. “The thing is, you know that me and Jimin have this job as waiters, right? There’s a wedding this weekend and they’re needing staff. So, if you’re interested, you can come with us on Saturday night. The payment is decent and it’s just easy stuff to do.”

Your mood lightens up at this. “Yeah, sure! I’ll go. I really need money right now.”

Hoseok smiles and claps his hands together. “Alright! I’ll send you all the information later. They’ll give you a uniform, so don’t worry about clothes. I have to go now. Bye!”

He leaves.

Jimin stays.

You just keep eating quietly, Jimin’s heavy gaze on you, until you finally get annoyed.

“Jimin, what do you want?” You cross your arms and glare back.

Jimin slowly quirks one eyebrow. “Won’t you ask me if Jungkook’s going?”

“Why would I ask if he’s going or not?”

“Because you guys aren’t talking anymore.”

“Thank you so much for reminding me of this, Jimin." 

He realised that he went a little too far just by seeing your clenched jaw and the anger in your eyes. Jimin sighs and shrugs. "Anyways, yes, Jungkook is going. But not to work as a waiter, he’ll take pictures instead.”

“So what?" 

Jimin swipes his hand over his face and shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. "I think you’re so stupid. Both of you. My fucking God.”

“You know what, Jimin? That’s none of your business.” You finally get up and take the tray rather roughly, walking away without looking back.

Maybe you were a little too rude with Jimin, but he’s being unbearable these days. 

It’s been one month since that day at Joy’s house - one month since you and Jungkook have been avoiding each other like the plague.

And maybe you were a little too rude with him because deep down, you know he’s right.

As usual.

tae: wyd?? 👀👀

you: working

tae: ??? didn’t u quit ur job

you: yea

you: it’s one night thing

you: i need the 💸💸

tae: oh

tae: ok

tae: i’ll ask later then

you: wAIT

you: ask what??????

tae: later

tae: u should work first~

you: but im curious

you: i can’t work if im curious >:(

tae: 🙊

you: tae????

you: taeeeeeeee

you: TAEHYUNG

He doesn’t reply anymore.

You groan, shoving your phone on your back pocket again, and leave the restroom. The guests hadn’t arrived yet since the wedding ceremony is still ongoing, but the kitchen is already a mess: people yelling orders, the delicious scent of good food in the air, cooks cooking (duh) and waiters getting ready. The boss has already given you the last instructions, but it’s not as if working in an event like this is a difficult task: serve the guests, smile, be polite, walk around the hall, try not to break the crystal glasses that cost more than what you can pay.

The hotel is pretty fancy, actually. You were expecting a smaller wedding. Not that this is a problem, of course. The only problem here are the heels that all women are forced to use; it’s not too high, but walking around endlessly the whole night in these will be painful for sure. The rest of the uniform is that standard - black pants, white button shirt, black vest and bow tie, hair tied in a perfect high bun, simple makeup. 

You walk to the hall to make the last adjustments in the decoration. Pretty much everything is in place, so there isn’t much to do. The tables are organized, the floor is pristinely clean, the white flower bouquets are in place. A DJ will be in charge of music tonight.

You stand at the back of the hall, almost hidden, just to check your phone once more; no new texts. Now, you can’t stop thinking about what Taehyung wants to ask. He knows you’d get all curious. You and Taehyung have grown closer these days: late phone calls, endless texts, random memes at random times. You hadn’t gone on a proper date yet, though - and you don’t think you want to.

Taehyung is a nice guy and a good friend, but you don’t want to take things to the next level - even though this seems to be Taehyung’s intention since the beginning. He has been insisting in you for quite a long time now meanwhile all you do is keep a certain distance. You didn’t really give him any real hopes yet and you’re afraid that Taehyung might be reading your actions in the wrong way. Truth be told, it’ll be so shitty of you to keep his hopes high when you won’t go anywhere with this.

Your feelings are all messed up. 

Because you shouldn’t even be feeling anything in the first place.

Ironically, you’ve never been friends with benefits with anyone before. You did have some fuck buddies in the past, though - but you were never friends with any of them. You never got involved with any of your actual friends. Sure, there was that night when drunk-you and drunk-Jimin made out at a party (you don’t talk about it), but at that time, you had just joined college and neither you nor Jungkook were close to Jimin yet, so it doesn’t really count. Also, you and Jimin never had sex - you just kissed, nothing more.

But of course dumb you had to be friends with benefits with your best fucking friend. Of course you had to destroy your friendship like that. Everyone knows that sex is a friendship destroyer. Everyone!

One month without Jungkook felt like being in the desert without rain. You have good friends, but none of them are that special person that’s somehow able to read you mind and understand you even if you don’t say anything. None of them know the type of meme you’d laugh at, none of them sent you random snaps at random times of the day. Worst of all - you didn’t watch Endgame together, when you’ve been watching every Marvel film together ever since you both started obsessing over heroes years ago. Every. Single. Marvel. Film.

You didn’t get to see Jungkook crying during the last scenes of Endgame. Jimin didn’t say if he cried or not, but you know he cried.

That’s devastating.

Truth be told, you don’t even miss sex. Sure, you and Jungkook are the perfect match in bed, and you caught yourself masturbating at night wishing it were Jungkook’s fingers inside of you instead (touching yourself has never been so depressing), but what you actually miss to the point it hurts your chest are the small, familiar things. The comfortable silence. The funny banter. Going to Burger King together late at night after a party or when none of you want to cook. Showing each other funny videos or discussing about the latest chapter of the manga you’re both reading. Jungkook ignoring your texts for hours because he’s too focused on playing Overwatch. You even miss the way he never lets you eat the last slice of pizza, goddammit.

You simply miss him.

What leads you to another thought - something that has been growing stronger in your mind.

After days of self denial, you finally admitted that you were jealous of Jungkook and Joy.

There’s no other explanation for the way you acted that day at her house. You were mad that she was touching him and getting too close. That’s weird. You’ve never really been the jealous type. You never minded when people tried to flirt with Jungkook.

You’re not jealous of friends.

Even so, you had a jealousy attack and didn’t rest until Jungkook’s attention was yours again.

Being totally honest with yourself, you’ve been jealous of Joy ever since you found out she was interested in him.

…what the fuck?

Something inside of you have changed, and only now you’re brave enough to admit. Somewhere along the road, you stopped seeing Jungkook as just a friend. He’s currently in that blurry and confusing level - not only a friend, but at the same time, not more than a friend. You don’t know what the fuck he is anymore.

More importantly… do you want to be more than friends?

If you and Jungkook make up, will you be able to go back to what it was - just friends?

Or are you just being possessive? Did you start seeing him in a different way just because you realized you’re about to lose him?

You don’t know the answer to none of those questions. What you know at the moment is that being away from him fucking hurts. You have the same friends, go to the same places, study at the same university, but barely see each other anymore. What’s that thing people say? You just start valuing things after you lose them.

Jimin asked you not to play with Jungkook’s feelings. What he doesn’t know, though, is that you’re so confused about yours that you don’t have time to play with his feelings.

When you realize the guests are about to come, you force your brain to focus on your current task. You stand back with the rest of the waiters as, slowly, the elegant guests get into the hall, sitting at their respective tables, and soon the place is filled with conversation, laughter and music. 

After everyone took their places, the main couple finally come.

The lights change. The DJ plays a special song. Guests stand up and applaud when they enter the hall, smiling, and walk to the center to have their first dance as a married couple.

You could have noticed how the bride’s dress was beautiful. You could have noticed how her front teeth was dirty with lipstick and how the groom tried to discreetly tell her about this. You could have even noticed how one of the kids was starting to have a tantrum and his mother half-screamed, half-whispered, if you don’t be quiet you’ll be grounded for one month!

But you don’t notice any of that, because the photographer enters the hall right after the couple does.

Your heart flutters in a funny way.

Jungkook is wearing a suit (you don’t even remember the last time you saw him in a suit); black and simple, but it fits him so well. He isn’t much different from all the other man, except for his long hair - his black hair is so long he can probably tie it now - and his ear piercings. He holds his camera to eye level, capturing every moment he can from the couple’s first dance, a backpack with other tools hanging from his shoulder. 

Everyone else is focusing on the couple - but you can’t look at anything else but him.

He looks so handsome and focused and hot and-

Hey, you’re here to work!, you remind yourself angrily, shaking your head and walking back to the kitchen.

Drink after drink, tray after tray - you and the other waiters and waitresses walk around the hall to serve the guests. It’s not a difficult work, but still tiring nevertheless. It’s also hard to balance yourself and the trays with these high heels. Soon, you’re immersed in the work and momentarily forget about everything else, although (unconsciously) you try to avoid being seen by a specific someone.

Time passes by and the party goes on. Parents make heartfelt speeches, everyone cries. The DJ plays popular songs and soon the dancefloor is full. Alcohol already starts to get into their heads. Men are either speaking and laughing too loud or crying, hugging the groom. Women already forgot their high heels and their elegance, twerking shamelessly and screaming. Kids do the usual - run, yell, fall and cry - and they almost throw you on the ground twice. Someone spills champagne on the floor; you rush to clean it before someone ends up slipping. There’s the eventual noise of glass breaking. A certain dude has asked for your help far too much and you start to avoid him, noticing that he’s staring at your ass. Another guest pukes and is taken to the infirmary. As usual, you hear old women complaining about the food, how the decoration is ugly, how one waiter was rude, how the DJ doesn’t play the songs they want-

“The photographer is so hot! What’s his name?!” You hear someone giggling.

You gulp.

Jungkook is just doing his job, but that boy can’t go unnoticed, not even when he tries. You don’t know if he saw you yet, and honestly, you hope he didn’t.

Just do your job. Just do your job.

The night goes on. Your left foot hurts and you need to pee, but gladly most of the guests have already left - the groom and bride left first and the party went on without them -, the hall is almost empty, which means it’s almost ending. Now, you busy yourself with cleaning the hall.

“Man, I’m dead,” Hoseok groans, stretching his back. You nod, putting some empty glasses on a tray to take them back to the kitchen.

“Now imagine bearing it all in heels,” you say, not being able to keep your nice posture anymore. Not that there are many guests anyway - most are too drunk or sleeping on the tables. The DJ is still diligently playing, though. 

“The night was productive after all,” Jimin chirps happily, approaching you two with a smug  grin on his lips. You see he’s holding a small paper between his fingers… someone’s phone number.

“Son of a bitch,” you say under your breath. Jimin just shrugs and smirks. Much obviously, you apologized for your rudeness before you came. The fact that he forgave you so easily made everything worse, honestly. Jimin is a nice guy with his friends (way too nice for his own good sometimes) and it just shows how he doesn’t deserve to be treated in a rude way.

“I’m just taking the chances life gives me!” He chirps again, making you roll your eyes.

“Anyways, what’s wrong with Jungkook?” Hoseok wonders, crossing his arms and frowning. “He didn’t come over the entire night. Is he avoiding us?”

You gulp.

Instantly, your eyes travel to where he stands in the nearly-empty dance floor. He smiles politely to some women that stand around him. Everyone’s obviously too drunk and they’re probably talking nonsense.

He’s avoiding me, you realize sadly. 

“He’s working, Hoseok. His job won’t end if the guests keep asking for pictures.” Jimin is quick to say, what indeed makes sense, but Jimin also knows very well why he has been keeping his distance. Hoseok is the only one that doesn’t notice the strange tension in the air.

When you notice you’ve been staring for an embarrassing long time, you immediately shift your gaze to the dirty plates in front of you, organizing them in a pile to take them to the kitchen. You came here to work. That’s it. Focus-

An excited scream tears the air.

“I loooove this song!” One of the girls on the dance floor scream, the one that has been clinging on Jungkook ever since the crowd started to dissipate. Much obviously tipsy, her eyes were glued on him the entire night (not that you’ve been noticing the people checking him out. Of course not). “Jungkookie, dance with me!”

You almost gasp.

Jungkookie?!

That’s when you finally notice the face Jungkook is making - and you try your best not to laugh.

He has that look that means oh my fucking God someone please take me out of this situation.

The two boys by your side don’t try to hide the laughter as well as you, watching the desperate Jungkook try to turn her offer down - an awkward smile, eyes shifting from her, a muttered apology (I still have some work to do…) but the thirsty girl is surprisingly insistent (you can stop for a little bit, come on!).

“I feel sorry for him,” Hoseok almost chokes as he tries to stop his giggles. You kind of feel sorry, too. He can’t be rude to a customer, otherwise he’d be punched by her relatives - not that Jungkook would be rude anyway. He steps back, scratches the back of his neck. The girl is almost climbing him. He looks around desperately, trying to find a way to escape-

“Why don’t you help him, Y/N?” Jimin says sweetly.

You side eye the sugar-coated snake you call friend. “Jimin.” Is all you say in a warning manner.

Someone that doesn’t understand the situation wouldn’t think anything weird, because you’re actually used to save Jungkook from crazy girls. The thing is, sometimes he’s too nice to turn girls down - and yes, girls do chase him. When he’s not interested in them, you’d usually understand the situation and run on his rescue, most times pretending to be his girlfriend so the girls would stop bothering him. It’s something funny and you’d always laugh your asses off right after.

Not now.

You definitely don’t want to laugh now.

Jimin is being far from innocent. He just wants to push you two into each other. He may have good intentions, but he’s not considering the fact that you don’t feel ready to face Jungkook - not when your feelings are so messed up. This ain’t happening.

“Yeah, Y/N. Jungkook looks pretty desperate,” Hoseok remarks, again, oblivious to the tension lingering in the air.

“Jungkook can handle himself very well. He doesn’t need my help.” Even though Jimin feels your menacing glare and sees your jaw clench, this boy is very brave and insists:

“Come on, Y/N! It won’t hurt.” He says innocently.

Yes, it will hurt. It already hurts, dumbass.

“Did you guys forget that we’re here to work? I don’t want to be reprimanded.”

“The hall is near empty. There’s literally nothing to do anymore.” Hoseok doesn’t understand why you’re glaring at him now.

You’re trying to control your nerves, but it’s getting hard not to feel your stomach jump in a weird way and your fingertips tremble. Just the idea of approaching him makes you weak, and not in a good way. Why these people can’t just leave you alone?!

“Do you think that avoiding him forever will work?” Jimin hisses on your ear, low enough so only you can listen, finally showing how pissed he really is.

What he says gets you.

Avoiding each other isn’t working, you know this very well. You remember the way you used to deal with things in the past - talking. Sure, you won’t be able to really talk right now, but at least you’ll have a chance to approach him.

You don’t want to. You really don’t. But at the same time, you want to. You miss Jungkook. 

Besides, he can’t run away from you in this situation.

You take a deep breath and gulp, trying to ease the tension. Come on. I know Jungkook. He’s the same bastard I’ve known my whole life. Stop being a pussy. I’m not a pussy!

“Just to make clear,” you whisper back to Jimin. “I fucking hate you.”

“You love me.” You wish you could rip that triumphant smirk off his face.

You walk over to the dance floor.

The few couples dance slowly and intimately. Because of course it had to be a slow dance. Of course it had to be a romantic song. Haha. Of course. The Universe must be playing some trick on you. 

Jungkook managed to run away from the girl, trying to hide in the corner of the hall, and she’s searching for him like a hawk. You wonder if she’s this drunk or if she’s just stupid. A guy literally running away from you isn’t already a message enough?

You walk quickly to where he stands, and the moment Jungkook turns around and lays his eyes on you, shock covers his features.

“Y/N-?”

“Quick, dance with me,” you say hurriedly, placing his hands on your waist. “She’s coming.”

Instead of questioning, Jungkook immediately starts to play along as you place your own hands on his shoulders. You discreetly watch when the girl finally finds you.

She stops on her tracks.

“She saw us?” He asks without looking back.

“Yes.”

“And?”

You see fire in her eyes.

“If she had a gun, she’d probably shoot me.” The girl looks outraged that you stole her chance to grind on him. “Oh, she’s turning away.”

Jungkook sighs in relief. “Thanks God. She’s been bothering me all night!” You can’t help but giggle.

For a millisecond, it feels like nothing has changed.

But then you look at each other for the first time.

It might be dramatic, but you almost feel that the temperature drops around you.

Oh shit.

You avoid each other’s gazes at the same time. It feels so tremendously awkward to be in front of him again - especially when you’re slow dancing in the dim light of the hall, almost hidden. It feels uncomfortably intimate. Especially because you’re both keeping a distance that normal couples wouldn’t. You probably look like a weird couple at a prom party that were forced to dance together.

It feels foreign.

The way you touch each other doesn’t feel right. You have touched each other in the most intimate and obscene ways, yet the simple touch of his hands on your waist doesn’t feel right. Despite this, you feel your blood boiling with a strange type of excitement; you missed him so damn much. Even in this uncomfortable situation, you can’t help but feel a little bit happy. You didn’t know you’ve been craving for his touch so much up until now.

What’s weird is that you don’t even feel like this in a sexual way. You’re not aroused. Considering how your relationship became strictly sexual these past months, your lack of arousal to be around him is weird.

The butterflies in your stomach and the way your hands are shaking a little bit is also weird.

For some moments, you just sway from side to side in an overwhelming silence. You have no choice but to listen intently to the song being played. As if you already don’t feel fucked up enough, you’re forced to listen to a love song - an 80s love song on top of that. Of course it has to be Is This Love by Whitesnake. Of course. Haha.

“Uhm… thanks.” Jungkook finally breaks the silence. His voice lacks confidence. He probably never talked to you like this.

“Just helping out a friend,” you say and instant regret smashes you. You don’t know if he’s still your friend. 

Jungkook looks scarily annoyed for a second. “A friend. Sure.”

Is it inappropriate to notice how he looks handsome when he clenches his jaw?

Honestly, has Jungkook always been this handsome?

Sure, he has always been like this. Maybe not seeing him in a long time made you feel this way. His hair has grown a lot. He looks extra fine in this suit. Every man looks better in a suit, but Jungkook looks like a deity. 

The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy.

You did miss him a lot. 

The silence makes you pay attention to the song again.

Wasted days and sleepless nights

But I can’t wait to see you again…

Hah, I know how it feels, you think - what makes you widen your eyes, shocked with your own thoughts. No. You won’t suddenly relate to a cliche 80s love song. 

Right?

“H-How’s school going?” You stutter. Are you trying to do small talk? For real?

“It’s doing fine,” he simply says. Oh fuck. Not good. He sounds so uninterested in your weak attempt at engaging a conversation it hurts. You came here to try and talk about what really matters, but you don’t feel ready to do it yet. Can’t he understand it?!

It looks like your presence bothers him, honestly.

That’s new.

Wow. Your heart suddenly feels clenched.

Awkward.

Why am I feeling this way?

A heavy silence weighs on you again. This isn’t going as planned - not that you planned anything in the first place. You’re going through a lot of weird sensations now.

Why is that?

You look at Jungkook timidly (timid and Jungkook are two words that used to not make any sense together in the past), but he doesn’t look back. You avoid his gaze again.

Being hit by a truck would hurt less.

What’s happening?

Why are you so damn confused?

When the song hits its chorus, you start to think the Universe is definitely playing with you. The deep voice of the singer floats in the air:

Is this love 

That I’m feeling?

Is this the love

That I’ve been searching for?

Fuck you, Whitesnake. 

For real. 

Fuck. You.

“Did Taehyung ask you?”

This brings you back to reality in an instant.

“What?” You look at him, confused. Why is he talking about Taehyung of all people out of nowhere?

You’ve always been very good at reading Jungkook, but right now, he’s unreadable.

“So he didn’t.” He says blatantly, devoid of any emotion. “I thought he would have already.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He talked to me about a double date.” Jungkook replies, looking back at you for the first time - again, a blank face. “You and him, me and Joy.”

Your blood honestly feels like frost.

It’s like you lost the ability to move or talk for a moment. You blink and gulp, trying to keep composed.

“What? Why?”

“Because he said it’d be fun. And less awkward, since I’m not very close to Joy yet and you’re not very close to him.”

Again, you don’t say anything for long seconds.

“But we’d just be cockblocking each other during the whole date,” you say.

“I know. I think the idea of a double date sounds weird, too. It’s not as if we don’t know them.”

You remember what Taehyung texted you earlier today; he said he’d ask something later. Is he going to ask you out?

He thinks that, since you and Jungkook are best friends, you could ease the tension and even help each other out.

This is so fucked up.

The immediate answer that comes to your mind is no. You don’t want to go on a date with Taehyung when you’re not interested in him. It’d be cruel; you don’t want to keep his hopes high. 

But as you’re about to say it, you stop.

What if Jungkook wants to go?

All this time, you’ve only been considering your feelings. Your confusion, your wishes - it’s always about you. You don’t know if you want to be just Jungkook’s friend, but you don’t know if he wants to be more than a friend - or if he wants to be your friend at all. The fuck buddies thing started because you asked. Not even once did you think about him.

Is this what Jimin meant when he asked you to not play with Jungkook’s feelings?

How selfish you’ve been acting all this time?

What if he’s been developing feelings for Joy and now decided to try something? He’s probably feeling hurt because you’ve not been acting like a good friend. You’re always putting yourself first.

That’s why you hear yourself asking:

“Do you want to go?”

It’s scary how every tiny little piece of you wishes he’ll say no.

But Jungkook tilts his head and says:

“Yes. I know it sounds weird, but we can part ways as soon as we get there.”

And this is the moment you feel as cold as you’ve never felt in your life.

It’s as if your ears got obstructed for a moment, because you can’t hear anything but your heartbeat. You can’t even see properly for a second. Yet, you ignore all that, gulp and nod.

It’s time to be a good friend for once.

It’s time to put Jungkook’s wishes first - even though it crushes your heart.

“Okay.” You say quietly.

You’re coming to the conclusion that you’re a walking disaster.

You’ve never been so nervous before a date in your life - but this is not the usual type of nervousness, when people are excited to meet their crush and impress them etc etc. You’re nervous because you don’t want to go. You thought of coming up with a thousand excuses (from the classical “I’m sick :(” to “Seulgi’s sick I gotta take care of her :(” to “my cat’s sick :(” but then you remembered you don’t have a cat to “I’m being chased by the police and I gotta leave the country :(”), but in the end, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.

Not when Taehyung sounded so painfully happy when you said you’d go.

That’s why you should have said no: Taehyung doesn’t deserve this. He’s a good person and he will certainly get hurt when you tell him you’re not interested. Who cares about Jungkook? That fucker can go on a date by himself, he’s not a kid anymore.

But…

There’s something very tiny and mean inside of you called jealousy that didn’t let you simply text an honest apology to Taehyung.

And now it’s too late, because he’s standing at your door.

Handsome as always, Taehyung wears casual clothes: it’s almost as if he didn’t put much thought on it, but he still looks drop dead gorgeous on his black baggy pants, white shirt and black beret (no other man in this planet can manage to not look stupid in a beret other than Taehyung). As usual, your brain malfunctions as it tries to process his beauty.

He has a small, beautiful smile on his lips.

Shit.

“You look beautiful,” he says, and he sounds like he means it. You did put some effort on your clothes, makeup and hair after all. Being complimented by him feels nice.

Shit.

“Thanks. You too, but that’s just your usual self,” you say thoughtlessly and instant regret slaps your face again. Yes, bitch. Flirt with him. Make things more difficult.

Taehyung looks shy for a moment. The sight is endearing.

S. H. I. T.

“You’re just being nice to me.” He tilts his head. “So, let’s go?" 

It’s too late to go back now, so you have no choice but to take his arm and show your most plastic smile. "Yeah.”

You’re definitely a walking disaster.

You two arrive in the park first and, instead of just showing your tickets and getting in, you’re forced to wait for the bastard and his hot date.

An amusement park of all places.

Not that you hate amusement parks, it’s pretty much the opposite. It’s just that everything feels so wrong. Especially how Taehyung is making a lot of effort to keep the conversation alive while you wait. It’s not hard to talk to him, though, because he’s an interesting person, but seeing his efforts hurts.

What hurts more is the sight of Jungkook and Joy arriving with locked arms.

You hope Taehyung didn’t notice you holding your breath.

Joy looks hot as always, but you don’t even look at her (yes, it’s not nice to be mad at someone that didn’t do anything wrong), eyes glued on Jungkook instead. Just like Taehyung, it seems that he didn’t put much thought on his clothes, only their styles are completely different: Jungkook wears an oversized grey t-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It might seem simple, but he can manage to look good in anything. Joy surely didn’t mind his choice of clothes.

You lock gazes for one second and proceed to avoid it.

The four of you greet. It’s hard to act natural, but you try to; you don’t want the two others to notice the weird tension between you and the black-haired bastard. Joy looks happy, too.

…

Shit.

Soon, you get into the amusement park. As expected, it’s crowded with kids, families and couples. The weather feels nice this afternoon.

“It’s been a long time since I don’t come to an amusement park,” you confess. 

“Really? Then this was a good choice. I was worried if it’d be too cheesy…” he also confesses sheepishly.

“It’s not!” You reassure him. Joy agrees with you. Jungkook keeps silent. “I just have some traumatizing memories about amusement parks.”

Taehyung quirks one eyebrow. “What?”

You sigh.

You and Jungkook end up saying in unison:

“5th grade.”

You look at each other and avoid your gazes again.

“What? What happened on 5th grade?” Joy asks excitedly.

“Our school came to an amusement park that year,” Jungkook explains.

“Why was it traumatizing?” Taehyung still seems confused.

“Because… well…” you hesitate to say.

“Because she was so short back then that they didn’t let her go on the rollercoasters. And she cried the whole trip,” Jungkook suddenly says.

You glare at him.

He has a playful smirk on his lips.

“Oh, so what about you?” You can’t help but smile, too.

“What happened to him?” Joy asks.

“He laughed at me because I couldn’t ride, but he puked his lunch after he went on the coaster and spent half of the trip in the infirmary,” you reveal. 

“You’re still bitter that you stayed with me in the infirmary?” He inquires.

“Of course I am! Also, you puked on my shoes!”

“I already apologized. Besides, I paid you banana milk for two entire weeks. Isn’t it enough?”

“It isn’t!”

“Are you saying that banana milk isn’t enough?!” He gasps. “You psycho.”

You both giggle.

Again, for one moment, it feels that everything is back to normal. You feel comfortable having these old memories, as if you never stopped being best friends, as if you have the intimacy to play like this again.

But it’s only for one moment.

You avoid gazes. It feels so out of place. 

At least the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes shows that he feels the same about this all.

Before the tension between you two can become too strong, you change the topic and engage both Taehyung and Joy in the conversation - during that moment, you two forgot about them. As wrong as it is, Taehyung is your date for the night. He’s the one you should pay attention to.

So you try to completely ignore Jungkook’s existence for a while.

You only look at Taehyung and don’t even touch your phone. You answer his questions and ask things about him. It doesn’t feel like a punishment, though, because he is an interesting person and you genuinely enjoy his company.

But you can’t help but look at Jungkook from time to time.

You can’t help but notice his smiley-eyes as he looks at her.  You can’t help but see their closure.

You can’t help but feel your heart clenching.

And then, you see yourself locking your arm with Taehyung’s.

“What’s that?” You say excitedly. “I wanna see it!”

You drag Taehyung away from the other couple until they disappear in the crowd. Only then you remember how to breathe again.

Considering all the odds, this going better than you expected.

You tried your best to completely erase Jungkook’s and Joy’s existence from your mind, and at some point it finally worked. Taehyung is a funny guy to be around. There’s something very particular and endearing about his personality that captivates you; he’s obviously trying to impress you, but he’s still being very honest. He has some type of innocence that makes you realize that this guy is seriously one of a kind. You can’t think of a single sign that he might be a bad person.

You’re genuinely enjoy this.

But not in the way Taehyung expects you to be enjoying it. 

As wrong as it is, you unconsciously end up comparing him to Jungkook. 

If Jungkook was your date, the first thing you’d both want to do is try all the rollercoasters and the wildest rides in this park. But Taehyung is scared of heights. You didn’t want to make the boy vomit his own stomach, so you ended up avoiding it - even though you really wanted to go on that orange coaster that looks high as fuck.

Taehyung didn’t really get your jokes. The fact that he still laughed politely is cute, but still - Jungkook and you have the same sense of humor. You two like the same stupid type of meme. It felt strange when you had to explain more than once a certain joke so Taehyung could understand. 

Taehyung didn’t know your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite soda. He doesn’t know the kind of movie you like, nor your favorite series, nor your favorite singers. You know you’re being stupid - the whole point of going on a date is to get to know each other, but every now and then you end up remembering how Jungkook knows every dumb detail about you…

What makes you realize that, as much as Taehyung is an amazing guy, you are too different from each other. 

What also makes you realize that, maybe… you don’t really want to get to know anyone else.

And suddenly, an image starts to build in your mind - an image you try very hard to erase, but it’s already too strong to be forgotten.

Instead of Taehyung, you arm is locked with Jungkook’s. You’re both laughing and having fun, just like things used to be. Only now you’re not just friends. 

It’s the first time in all these years that you see yourself dating Jungkook clearly. Painfully clearly.

The cotton candy you’re eating suddenly tastes like iron on your tongue. You feel your throat tightening. All of this became painful. The fact that you’re trying so hard to forget Jungkook for a few minutes, yet he’s everything you can think of. The fact that he’s in the same park as you having a date with another girl - said girl that is a friend, by the way, someone you encouraged to be with Jungkook, and now you’re hating her existence even though she did nothing wrong, all because of jealousy. There’s also the fact that Jungkook is much obviously avoiding you.

And the most painful fact of all-

“Are you okay, YN?” Taehyung asks, the smile vanishing from his lips the moment he sees your expression. 

The fact that this incredible person likes you much more than you expected. It’s obvious now that you look at his eyes. He really likes you - a funny, smart and special guy, someone that didn’t check his phone not even once ever since this date started, someone that has been trying his hardest to make sure you’re having fun, a guy that is usually very confident, but at the moment looks very uneasy around you.

He’s the perfect guy. He wasn’t disrespectful, wasn’t trying to get into your pants, treated you very well. You went on dates that were far worse than this. There was nothing wrong with him. You’re also sure he’d be a loving and caring boyfriend.

But all you can think of is Jungkook. 

And even though you knew this date wouldn’t work, you still accepted to come anyway. You kept Taehyung’s hopes high. Just because you were jealous.

You’re definitely the worst person on this planet.

But this has to end before Taehyung gets more hurt.

“I’m not feeling very well,” you hear yourself saying. Worry covers Taehyung’s features. “What’s the problem? Was it something you ate? Do you want to go to the infirmary?”

Damn. It hurts to see him like this.

“No. Can you… can you just take me home, please?” You ask sheepishly. 

If Taehyung feels disappointed, he doesn’t let you see; he just nods instead. “Okay. Let’s go.”

And this is how you managed to destroy a perfectly fine night.

You still try not to think of Jungkook and Joy on your way back home; you don’t want to know if they’re still in the park or if they went somewhere else. The idea of what they must be doing makes your stomach twirl in a bad way. It feels like a weight installed itself on your shoulders. Everything seems too oppressive and suffocating. You can’t wait to be alone and peaceful to process all of these feelings. Fortunately, Seulgi isn’t home - she went to sleep at a friend’s house to finish a project. 

For the first time, being with Taehyung feels awkward as you walk to the front door of your apartment. You can see he isn’t exactly glad. It makes everything worse.

You stop in front of the door and you turn around to face him. Everything you have to say must be said now.

“I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” You say in an embarrassed tone, scratching the back of your neck. “I ruined everything.”

“What? No!” He’s quick to reassure. God, his eyes are beautiful… “It’s not your fault. People feel ill, that’s normal.”

You gulp. Oh Gosh. He believed what you said. This is getting worse and worse… “I had a lot of fun today. Really.” You sigh and tilt your head tiredly. “Honestly, it was the most fun I had in a long time…”

“I had a lot of fun, too.” His smile is able to melt any frozen heart. “I noticed that you had a lot in mind, so I’m glad I was able to distract you at least a little.”

It gets you off guard. 

He’s way more observant than you expected.

“You noticed…?” You gulp, even more embarrassed. He nods. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s fine. Everyone has a bad day every now and then. I just have to admit that I’m kind of worried about you.”

You stare at each other in silence for a while.

“Are you?” Why suddenly all you can do is make stupid questions?

Taehyung tilts his head. “Yes. You’re always such a bright person. Seeing you being quiet these days makes me sad.” First of all: did people start to realize that there’s something wrong with you? Are you acting this weird?

Second of all: that was adorable. He’s so honest about his feelings.

“To be honest, Taehyung… I’m not really a bright person,” you end up confessing in a quiet, weak voice. You don’t know why you’re saying this. You were supposed to push him away, not pull him closer. “I think I’m just used to pretend I am.”

“You don’t have to,” your eyes widen when you feel his fingertips brushing on your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not. To suppress this type of feeling… it hurts. Believe me, I know.” For a moment, you feel your breath hitch. The skin where  his fingers touched feels warm. He’s mesmerizing. His voice sounds like a sweet melody on your ears: deep, silky. “So, if you ever feel like opening up… I’m here, okay?” He widens his eyes for a second. “I-I mean- you can open up to Seulgi or Jungkook or Jimin, sure… anyone.”

This moment of shyness coming from him makes you giggle. “I don’t feel like opening up to anyone right now,” especially not to you, you think. “but thank you, Tae. It… it makes me really happy. I’m glad I went on this date with you.”

You shouldn’t have said that.

You shouldn’t have called him Tae.

Even though you’re saying the truth and there’s no second intentions hidden, Taehyung hears something else. 

His hand is still resting on your cheek.

And he says nothing.

He just… stares right into your eyes.

You can’t move.

You clearly see when his face starts coming closer and closer to yours, slowly but surely. You see his heavy-lidded eyes, his clouded gaze, his parted lips. You feel the thick tension in the air around you - the electricity. 

That’s when you should have pushed him away.

But you can’t.

Instead, you unconsciously close your eyes. You feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second - until his lips finally touch yours.

The kiss is suave - gentle and delicate. He doesn’t move his lips at first, merely pressing his against yours. Your body warms up in a way you haven’t felt in a long time; not because of arousal. It’s the pure excitement of being kissed.

Maybe that’s why you let him kiss you. You had forgotten how it feels like to be touched without any sexual intention. Kisses are too intimate, so you and Jungkook didn’t really kiss that often - and when you did kiss, it was always heated and obscene, tongues entangling wildly until both of you could barely breathe. It’s been a long time since someone kissed and held you like this: with gentleness and care. Taehyung isn’t treating you like a sex toy.

You melt.

Your lips part as he deepens the kiss; he is undemanding, careful and delicate. His lips taste like lip balm. No one is fighting for control, no one is desperate. It’s slow and synchronized. It’s sweet and innocent. Most importantly - it’s way different than you ever expected it to be. You never thought he’d kiss like this.

When Taehyung pulls away, the purest smile adorns his features.

“I’m sorry.” He says quietly, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “I should have asked permission.”

“It’s okay.” And it really is. You shouldn’t, but you liked it. 

“I'll… I’ll get going.” He says, the smile never disappearing. His eyes are also smiling. He stands there awkwardly in an adorable manner. “Can I text you later?”

“Sure.” You nod. “Good night. And thank you again.”

Taehyung grins. “Good night.”

Before leaving, he presses his lips on yours quickly one last time. 

You watch until he disappears inside the elevator, entering the apartment and standing there alone in the dark for a few seconds.

Then you unceremoniously slam your forehead against the wooden door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You hiss between gritted teeth. “What have you done?!”

You were supposed to push him away. You should have told him the truth - that you don’t have feelings for him, that you’re confused and almost certainly in love with another guy. Instead, you just stood there and let him kiss you. You not only kept his hopes high, you increased them.

How will you get yourself out of this situation now?!

You throw yourself on the couch, grab a cushion and scream into it. I’m the worst of the worst. I’m a walking catastrophe. 

For a long time, you just lay there and torture yourself with bad thoughts. Taehyung is the nicest guy you’ve met in a really long time. If you gave him the opportunity months ago, you’re sure you’d be dating right now - and the idea isn’t even unpleasant. He’s hot and smart and funny and sweet. It’s even hard to believe that someone like him is interested in you.

But…

No. Don’t think about him.

You want to punch yourself and scream and eat tons of ice cream and cry - all at once. You’re the queen of taking bad decisions. You’re the heart crusher and friendship destroyer-

There’s someone knocking on the front door.

You sit up in a jump and frown. Is it Seulgi? Did she forget her keys?

You walk slowly around the living room, defeated as if you’ve just came home from war, your hair a mess and shoulders shrinking. You turn the doorknob and open it-

And gasp.

Because standing at your front door is the person you least expected to see.

Jungkook is casually leaning on the door frame as if his presence didn’t make you burst a lung. He looks down, eyes avoiding yours; although the hallway is considerably dark, you can see his expression well. You know him too well. You see sadness and guilt and fear in his eyes.

Your heart beats so fast that you’re afraid it’ll stop suddenly. Nervousness crawls over your skin and makes your stomach feel cold.

“J-Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You’re brave enough to stutter. You completely forgot that Jungkook used to come over so often that you gave him full permission to enter and leave the building whenever he wanted.

He doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he lifts his left hand and shows you what he’s carrying: a plastic bag full with a pack of…

Banana milk.

“I think we really need to talk.” He says quietly, his eyes meeting yours for the first time.

You inhale sharply.

He’s right. You need to talk.

The cold night breeze makes you tighten your coat around your body. Yours and Jungkook’s hairs sway softly with the wind. You can hear the sounds of the city from up here, in the empty terrace - cars, sirens, voices. A glowing map of endless streets and buildings extends itself in front of your eyes.

You’re both leaning on the railing side by side. You’re hyper aware of the distance between you - both physical and… spiritual. You’ve been standing here in silence for quite some time now, quietly drinking the banana milk he brought, and none of you were able to engage a conversation. The tension is heavy. It overwhelms your whole being. Nervousness makes your nerves tense. You can’t even look at him.

Dozens of questions float around your mind; what is he doing here? Why did he decide to come in the first place? What happened to his date? It’s still very early, he could have stayed with her much longer…

You also can’t help but feel helplessly excited that he is here. With you. Not with Joy. He took the initiative to meet you. 

You can’t lose this opportunity.

“It’s kinda cold.” Is the first thing you say. It doesn’t even sound like you.

“Yeah.” He agrees, and he also doesn’t sound like him.

The awkwardness is almost solid right now. Things used to be so different… you can’t remember one moment in the past when such an uncomfortable feeling lingered between you. 

“Hm…” you cough. “What, hm… what about you and Joy?”

Why the fuck are you asking this?, you yell at yourself.

Jungkook looks down and shakes his head. “Let’s not talk about Joy or Taehyung right now, okay?”

You shrug. “I’m just trying to start a conversation.”

“That’s not how you do it.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do it anymore.”

Jungkook goes silent with this, the quick aggressiveness disappearing as soon as it came. He gulps and looks down at the banana milk between his fingers again. 

More silence.

“Can I… can I ask you something?” Jungkook says after a long while. His voice is quiet, hesitant, almost being carried away with the wind.

“What?” You feel your body heating up in anticipation. 

He finally looks up to you, and in the moment your eyes meet, you have this weird feeling that everything except him looks blurred.

“Why did you start dating Mike?” He asks. “I warned you about him. I mean, you used to listen to me in the past.”

Oh.

Certainly not the type of question you were expecting.

What a mood killer, Jungkook.

You avoid his gaze again, trying to hide your disappointment. “Why are you asking me this now?”

“I just really want to know.” He takes one more sip of the banana milk.

A sigh escapes through your lips and you stare at the shiny city ahead. You didn’t think you’d have to bring up memories of Mike. It’s been a long time, but it still hurts to remember him.

“I… I just…” you start, trying to organize your thoughts. “You know that Mike had like a… bad relationship with his parents, right?” Jungkook nods. “Mike opened up about this to me. I saw how much it hurt him. He was lonely, broken. And I…” this is being way harder than you expected. You shrug, shake your head. “I don’t know. I was just being my stupid self. I thought I could… I wanted to fix him. I realized that I have this heroine complex, you know?” You side eye him sheepishly. “But there are a lot of things I can’t fix… I’m better at breaking things, not fixing them.”

“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people.” The confidence in which Jungkook says this makes, yet again, an odd sensation set in your stomach. 

It is probably the first time Jungkook managed to make you blush in your entire life.

A little more silence.

“Did you actually like him?” You can barely hear his voice.

You have no idea why he’s making this questions. Why is he bringing up Mike after so long?

“Well… yes.” You can’t lie right now. “I did.” You make sure to reinforce the did. It’s in the past.

Jungkook nods and says nothing. He takes another banana milk from the plastic bag and opens it.

You inhale, building up your courage to ask something you’ve been wanting to know for a long time. He touched this subject anyway.

“You asked me something, now it’s my turn to ask you something.” Jungkook nods. You have the feeling that he already knows what’s coming. “Why did you break up with Yeri?”

“She broke up with me.”

Oh.

“Why?” You repeat. You can see that Jungkook gets clearly uncomfortable, but you’re not letting him go without an answer - and he already knows how stubborn you can be, too. He shifts, tilts his head, exhales heavily.

“It just didn’t work out.”

“But you liked her. And she liked you, too.” It was pretty obvious to anyone that saw them together. 

Jungkook takes a long while to speak again. “I did like her. A lot.” The way his voice sounds fragile surprises you. Seeing him like this is very rare. Jungkook isn’t one to get all emotional too often. It seems that confessing this to you is important to him, somehow.

It also scares you a tiny bit. What if Jungkook still likes her, just like you suspected in the past?

“I didn’t want things to end the way they did.” He continues. His eyes are far away, watching old memories. His shoulders seem tense. He fiddles with the small banana milk bottle between his fingers. “But… some things aren’t meant to be, it doesn’t matter how much you want them to.”

This answer sounds… way too vague. Not what you want to hear. You know there’s more behind their break up, but just by looking at Jungkook you see that he isn’t telling you anything else. Well, this is the most he ever said about his past relationship in almost one year. It’s better than nothing.

And back to silence.

You want to push this awkwardness away. But how? You don’t feel as close to Jungkook as you always were. It’s not as if you could simply say anything in this moment… especially because, somehow, you feel that Jungkook expects you to do something, even though he came all the way to your apartment just to talk.

Say something, goddamnit!

“I’m sorry.” you blurt out.

Jungkook looks at you, but you’re not strong enough to look back at him. You hold the tiny bottle so tightly that it might get smashed at any moment; that’s just how nervous you are.

“Sorry for what?” he asks quietly. You hear the expectation in his voice… almost as if he’s holding his breath.

You can’t help but gulp. I’m not good with this type of thing. 

“For everything.” you hate the way your voice sounds so damn fragile. Being sincere like this is somehow… painful. But that’s what Jungkook expects of you: sincerity. So you keep talking, although you don’t know the right words to express yourself. “I… I don’t know why things got like this between us…” you almost gasp. “I mean, I know why. We know why. And I feel very responsible.”

“You have this habit of taking the blame to yourself, isn’t it?” He murmurs. Jungkook shakes his head softly and passes his hand on his hair.

“But I was the one to propose it in the first place.”

“And I agreed.”

“Okay, but…” you have to stop for a moment to recover your breath. “I don’t know, I just feel sorry. I didn’t think of anyone except me all along. I’ve been an awful person to you… and awful friend. Also…” you need to stop again. Why is it so hard to speak? It feels as if there’s something obstructing your throat; the words hardly come out. “What I did that day at Joy’s house… it was wrong. I’m sorry that I made you upset that day.”

Jungkook sighs heavily. You’re still scared to look at him. 

“I’m sorry about that day, too. I was rude to you.” Is he apologizing for calling you a slut while you had sex in the bathroom? Well, you definitely didn’t care about that. “I feel sorry too, Y/N. The way we drifted apart from each other…” he gesticulates with his finger between you and him. “The fault is on us both. I already told you, you shouldn’t take all the responsibility to yourself. We were both stupid.”

“Very stupid.” you both chuckle. You feel your heart lightening up for a moment; that strong tension still hovers around you, but now it feels like a different type of tension. Seeing that tiny smile in Jungkook’s lips makes your heart race. 

You finally look at each other.

The shadows of the night paint Jungkook’s face. His hair sways with the wind softly. His dark eyes shine as much as diamonds. You never really understood the expression “to get lost in someone’s eyes…” 

Well… now you do.

The small moment you two share feels fragile… featherlight. You’re scared that if you say or do something wrong, it’ll break and disappear. You’re scared to break him. To break yourself. This makes you remember that, ever since you were kids, Jungkook has always been the most fragile of you two. He has always been the most sensitive, the one to get hurt easily. Jimin was right all along. How could you do this to him? Why did you let this happen between you two? 

“I missed you.” your voice is barely a whisper. Admitting this makes you feel exposed and relieved at the same time. Your throat feels even tighter.

“I missed you, too.” he confesses. 

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

You smile at each other.

That’s the moment you almost confess something more… your confused feelings for him. You feel the urge to say that you don’t see him as just a friend anymore; that you don’t want to be just a friend anymore.

But something holds you back.

This is maybe the moment when you’re finally being able to reconcile. You don’t know if Jungkook feels the same about you; you don’t want to push him away by throwing your feelings over him. This might destroy you friendship forever.

Then, you decide to keep it all to yourself. At least for now.

“So,” Jungkook says, sighing. “What about that group project?”

You quirk one eyebrow up. “I’m pretty sure you know about the group project.”

Jungkook giggles. “Jimin has been annoying you, too?” you nod. He shakes his head. “He’s a little shit, isn’t he?”

“Yes. He had good intentions, at least.” You shrug. 

“He could be a little more subtle, though.” You can’t help but agree. “Congratulations for getting the highest grade.”

“Thank you. Jimin also told me that you’ve been talking to some important people…”

Jungkook smiles beautifully with this. “Yes. It’s a director. He said that he likes my work and that I have talent. I think he’ll invite me to work with him as a trainee for a while.” Your eyes widen in a surprised expression.

“Really?! That’s great, Kook!” It feels so nice to call him Kook again after so long. Slowly, you feel that unbearable tension vanishing and all that’s left is you and him. Two people that know each other better than you know yourselves for most of your lives. In a matter of seconds, the distance that put you apart for months seems to disappear. 

Suddenly, you feel a cold drizzle start falling over your heads. Jungkook frowns. “I think we should get down there.”

“Yes.” Before you can think better, you blurt out: “You can sleep here if you want.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that, because Jungkook’s frown deepens as he stares at you with suspicion. A shiver of fear runs down your spine. “Hey, that’s not what I mean.” You’re quick to say, waving your hands. “Before this sex thing started there was just us, remember? I… I miss us.”

Jungkook thinks for some moments, his eyes never leaving yours. 

Then, a tiny smile makes its way to his lips - and you’re happy to see that the smile reaches his eyes, too. “Okay.”

“Wait- so Irene and Jennie made up?” Jungkook asks from the kitchen, surprised.

“That’s what it looks like. I mean, they did post some photos together on Instagram.” you say while adjusting the pillows and blankets on the mattress you placed in the living room. Yours’ and Seulgi’s friends come to sleep over a lot, so you’re used to do it - you even bought some spare sheets and blankets for this occasion. 

“But you can’t be sure that they are together just because of some photos.”

“Yeah, but you know Seulgi. She jumped to conclusions. Being honest, they don’t look like a couple in these photos… but I don’t think there’s anything I can say that will change her mind at this point. I tried everything.”

“I don’t really think that they’ll make up this time.” Jungkook admits. You walk over to the kitchen and lean on the counter, opposite to him.

“I feel bad for her. Seulgi still loves Irene and she can’t get over it. I think it’s the first time she spends the night out in a long while… and it isn’t even to have fun. I’m worried.”

He pouts and shrugs, eyes focused in building up his sandwich. “Maybe we should just let her figure things out by herself.”

“But she’s doing nothing.”

Jungkook stops adding ketchup just to stare at you and quirk his eyebrows. “Y/N. I think I already said that you should stop trying to be a cupid, like… a million times.”

“I didn’t say I’d do something!” You do your best to sound offended. 

“I know you, woman. I’ve seen this face many times. You look like an evil gremlin.” 

“I don’t!” you cross your arms. You forgot how annoying it is that Jungkook knows you so well, because you did think of doing something to help her. You’re so tired of seeing you friend being sad all the time. All she does these days is watch Netflix and complain. She already started to look like a zombie at this point. No one can blame you for being concerned. “Besides, gremlins are cute.”

“You’re the only person on this planet that thinks this.” He shakes his head slightly, his hair waving in the process.

“Why did you let your hair grow so much?” You ask, resting your chin over your palm. 

“Because I look good with long hair.” Jungkook shrugs, a smug smirk on his face. 

“You cocky little shit.”

“Am I wrong for telling the truth?” He looks up at you again, playful. You can’t even tell he’s wrong: that long hair really matches his looks and personality. 

“Hey, are you still helping Namjoon and Yoongi?” you ask when Jungkook starts to make a fourth sandwich. Yes, you guys do eat a lot.

“Yeah. I haven’t been to the studio in a few days, but they still call me whenever they need me.” Jungkook presses his lips together and shifts a little: nervousness. “I… I kind of helped them write a song.”

“Really? But you said you were just ‘lending’ them your voice to record demos.” 

“Yeah, but I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.” He shifts his eyes to you then back to the sandwich very rapidly. “Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.”

“Aw, come on! I’ve been wanting to listen to your songs for so long!” you whine.

“I said maybe. When the right time comes.”

You don’t really get what he means with it.

For a while, you just sit there and watch Jungkook. He looks so carefree and relaxed; he moves around the kitchen as if it’s his own house. He knows where everything is in the cabinets. In a way, this really is his second house considering how often he comes… even when he used to come just to fuck during these past months. It feels so nice to see him not being all tensed up and uncomfortable around you anymore. He even starts to sing quietly, his voice as sweet and smooth as cotton candy filling up the entire house.  You’re one of the few people that Jungkook feels confident enough to sing around. It’s almost a privilege.

You have been staring at him unceremoniously for so long that Jungkook frowns and looks back at you, frowning. “What?”

“Nothing.” You shake your head. “It’s just that… Namjoon is right. You could’ve been famous with this voice.” Jungkook smiles shyly. “And this face.” He turns around to open the fridge. “And this ass.”

He frowns. “Seriously?”

“What? I’m being honest. And don’t act like you don’t stare at my ass all the time.”

Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head in that way that means I can’t stand you.

“Done.” He claps his hands together. Four giant sandwiches, coke, popcorn and m&ms (let’s say that you and Seulgi don’t have exactly the healthier type of food at home). 

“Okay. I’ll take these, get changed first if you want,” you say while taking the plates to the living room. Of course there would be some of his clothes at your place.

When Jungkook sees the clothes you chose, he stares at you with an outraged expression. “My grey hoodie!”

“…yes.”

“You said you didn’t know where it was!”

You stop and click your tongue. “…funny how I found it at the bottom of my drawer tonight, huh?”

He knows you’re lying. But you won’t tell him that slept wearing his hoodie some nights because it smelled like him. He doesn’t need to know this.

“Hoodie thief.” He says and taps your head jokingly, making his way to the bathroom. You’re wearing sleeping clothes as well - and you made sure to choose your ugliest and largest ones. You don’t want Jungkook to think you asked him to sleep here just to end up having sex. 

He comes back and throws himself on the mattress by your side. You’re very aware of the immense space between you; another person could fit in here. “What are we going to watch?”

“I think I’ve watched the entire Netflix catalogue at this point because of Seulgi.” you admit, shoving popcorn inside your mouth. Jungkook takes your phone and scrolls down the Netflix page. 

“There’s always something more to watch.”

You end up arguing about what movie to watch. Actually, you spend more time arguing and scrolling down through the Netflix endless catalogue than watching something. 

You don’t touch each other not even once. The physical distance almost feels like a living being.

You end up giving up on Netflix and watching Avengers Endgame for the hundredth time anyway.

And yes - Jungkook cries at the ending of the film.

You wake up with the sunlight touching your face.

It’s awful. You close your eyes tightly and yawn, a little bit confused at first. What am I doing in the living room? You search for your phone to check the hour: it’s seven in the morning. Shit. Whenever you can sleep until late hours, you end up waking up early…

You turn your head to the side and freeze.

It’s Jungkook.

Now you remember everything. The TV is still on, which means both of you fell asleep while watching it. The empty plates and glasses are placed over the coffee table. 

You never slept together before.

There was only one time when it happened - the first and only, when you two got wasted and the whole story started. Other than that, you never slept together. First, because you had more interesting things to do other than sleep. Second, because sleeping together feels way too intimate. It didn’t matter how tired you were after fucking, when you finished cleaning up, you’d both put your clothes back on and walk back to your respective homes. You vehemently avoided doing anything that might feel too intimate - kissing, sleeping together… after a while, you even avoided looking at each other right in the eye while having sex. 

You’re not touching; there is still a great space between your bodies. Yet… just the thought that you slept with Jungkook makes your heart race.

You don’t move a single centimeter. You just lay there and… look at him.

His long hair is a mess. His face is adorably puffy, lips slightly parted. He looks peaceful. The way his chest moves up and down as he breathes is hypnotizing. 

He’s seriously so beautiful.

But now, you don’t think of it in a sexual way. Back then, you’d always admire how hot Jungkook is, his godlike physique, how lucky you were to be having sex with a guy like him… not now. You just feel mesmerized by his features. The long eyelashes touching his cheeks. The tiny moles on his face and neck. Some old acne scars. 

It’s odd, but right now, you realize just how much you’ve been missing him. It doesn’t make sense - Jungkook is right here, barely an arm apart from you. You made up last night and it seems that everything is back to normal. Still, you desperately miss him. 

Your chest fills up with something strange and unknown. It’s sweet and painful. It makes your heart feel tight, your nerves feel like burning and your eyes well up with tears. 

This is the face of the person that has been with you during most of your life. 

He’s a part of you.

The most important part of you.

In this moment, your feelings for him are so great that it seems that they can’t even fit inside of you anymore.

You watch him sleep for a long time, too scared to move and wake him up. But eventually, he sighs heavily and moves his head, indicating he’s about to wake up.

His eyes finally open and he yawns.

“Good morning.” He says when his eyes focus on you, smiling softly. Jungkook’s voice sounds deep and raspy. He stretches his arms over his head. “I mean… if it’s still morning.”

“It is,” you say softly.

He stares at the ceiling with heavy-lidded eyes. “I dreamed that babies came from eggs. Like ostrich eggs.” He chuckles. “And women gave birth to the eggs like chickens.”

You don’t say anything and just keep watching him instead.

Jungkook finally turns his head at you and frowns, still smiling softly. “What?”

“Nothing.” You say so quietly that he can barely hear.

He gazes back at you.

Slowly, the smile on his lips disappears.

You feel the tension building up around you - but this time it feels different. It’s not a bad tension like what you experienced last night at the terrace, nor is it dense like when you two were aroused and desperate to find a place and please yourselves. This time, it feels delicate but heavy nevertheless. It makes your blood boil and your heart race.

Jungkook’s eyes are serious, heavy and intense over you. All the playfulness is gone. None of you say a word. You don’t even know if you have the power to move considering how heavy the tension is.

He extends his arm and his fingertips touch your cheek. Your skin feels burning hot. Delicately, he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. It’s strange how he’s doing the exact same thing Taehyung did, but with Jungkook, this simple touch made you feel like exploding right there. 

Jungkook is the one to come closer. Closer and closer and closer. Your breathing is heavy. He caresses your cheek his his thumb. Soon, his face is right in front of yours - noses touching, eyes locked and burning with something you can’t quite name.

You stare at each other like this for a moment until his gaze finally drops to your mouth.

You both lean in for the kiss at the same time.

You have already tasted these lips multiple times before - but now, it’s different. The kiss is slow; you move your lips unhurriedly and sweetly. Yet, this kiss feels much more intense than any other you have shared before. None of those times when you kissed him desperately with luxury being the only thing on your mind comes even close to the intensity of this kiss.

It almost feels that this is the actual first time you kiss Jungkook.

Your breathing gets even heavier as the kiss deepens. His hand rests on your waist, while yours hold his neck. The sloppy sounds of your lips and tongues moving together are the only audible thing in the apartment. Your whole being screams in excitement and anticipation when Jungkook moves his body to hover over yours, not even once breaking the kiss. Your right hand grabs his smooth hair while the other travels up and down his back; your body is getting burning hot. Jungkook moans very softly. You start to feel the familiar wetness on your panties.

Jungkook leans away for a moment; his lips are red and swollen, his hair is even messier now, his dark eyes are clouded with want and something you can’t name - something so strong that he’s able to make you shiver with that look alone. He leans down again and starts to kiss and suck your neck very slowly, making soft moans escape through your lips. His hand sneaks under your baggy shirt and he squeezes your breast. Soon, his lips are on yours again and the kiss becomes much deeper. You can already feel sweat forming on your forehead. Jungkook starts to grind on you; you can clearly feel his clothed erection rub against your own core, what makes more and more strangled moans come from both of you.

This is the hottest make out session of your life. The entire atmosphere is not what you’re used to; it’s not playful, none of you say a word. No teasing, no dirty talk. All you do is try to touch each other the best you can, never once breaking the kiss. It’s as if, with this kiss, you’re having a conversation… you’re telling each other everything you’re not brave enough to say out loud.

Soon, the desperation becomes too big. There’s no time to play, you just want to have him inside of you and feel his warm skin against yours. Unceremoniously, you start to undress yourselves, kissing every spot you can find in the process - neck, chest, stomach. Your clothes are thrown around the living room. You lay on your back again and Jungkook hovers above you once more, your legs entangling around his hips as he positions his hard member on your entrance.

You always avoided this position because it is too intimate; you’re forced to look at each other like this. This time, though, it doesn’t matter. You want to look at him - and the sight of his face contorting in pure pleasure, lips parted and eyes closed tightly as he eases himself inside of you, is almost as good as the feeling of being stretched after a long time.

Jungkook doesn’t move at first. He knows he’ll hurt you if he goes too hard right from the beginning. Instead, he waits until you call his name quietly in a strangled moan - the sign he needs to start thrusting. He rests his head on your shoulder and grabs the pillow under your head tightly as he picks up his pace, slow and steady, soft groans coming from the back of his throat that make you feel goosebumps. You hold his back with both hands. You can’t shut the moans anymore.

Sweat makes your skin slippery as he thrusts faster. Jungkook licks and bites your ear, moaning right into it, and it feels that this alone could make you cum. He then leans away for a moment, creating some space between your bodies to have a better angle to keep smashing himself into you - faster and faster, stronger and stronger. The usual sound of skin hitting skin, heavy breathing and moans is all you can hear. 

You said that you didn’t ask him to sleep here just to have sex - and you weren’t lying.

But this doesn’t feel like just sex.

This isn’t fucking.

The pleasure is getting unsustainable and you both feel it. You close your legs around him even tighter and pull his face with both hands, sealing your lips in another intense, desperate kiss. It’s sloppy and unsynchronized. It’s raw and rough and so full of emotions you can’t comprehend that you feel your eyes tearing up again.

What you’re experiencing right now isn’t just two people finding pleasure in each other. It isn’t simply carnal instinct. 

It is the deepest and most sincere way to connect with another being - without any words, through touches only.

You never felt anything like this in your life - not with Mike or any of your past boyfriends and hook ups. This is beyond lust. This is beyond sex.

Jungkook breaks the kiss apart for a second  to look at you. Your gazes lock. God, he’s beautiful. Not only his appearance, but everything about him is beautiful.

And it is right now - stating deep into his eyes - that you come to a conclusion.

Jungkook has always been a part of you. But, in this exact moment, it feels like more.

It feels that you two became one.

He leans down and kisses you again. Your lips are tightly sealed when you both come at the same time.

Your trembling fingers still hold the strands of his damp hair tightly. You caress his face softly, putting some hair away from his eyes. Jungkook kisses you again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

You’re glad when he rests his head on your shoulder again, because like this, he can’t see the tears trickling down your temples.

It’s still hard to understand what just happened. Honestly, you think you’ll never fully understand.

But one thing you do understand, one thing that became as clear as the morning sky, is that your feelings for Jungkook are deeper and stronger than you ever imagined. He’s so much more than a friend.

Yet, you don’t know if he sees you the same way.

You don’t know if he felt the same things you did or if this was just one more time having sex with you. You don’t know if he still has feelings for Yeri or if he’s developing any for Joy.

You know nothing - and this fact makes your heart hurt as if it is being stabbed…

Because Jungkook, the best and most important part of you, might never be truly yours.

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