#Depression it can't always be perfect but I'm so happy and confident most the time I just love what I do

[meetmyothersouls]

hey! could you do a Jonah imagine, where he and the reader are house mates (like in flat mates) and the reader is sick of being single (me rn) and wants to take some pics for her hinge account and she asks Jonah for help and Jonah just confessing his love for her

Ooooh I really love this idea!

Hinge

Warnings: online dating, taking photos, not being happy with the way you look, fluff

You feel silly as you slip on one of your best outfits, one that makes you feel confident and sexy. Black leggings and a strappy tank top that you'd normally reserve for date night...the only problem was you'd not had an actual date in years...let alone a reason to wear a sexy outfit. But it was time to change that, after years of vowing to stay away from dating sites, you were finally going to break it.

Your Hinge account was already all set up. You already registered, answered all the annoying questions about yourself and what you look for in a man. The only thing left was to upload the dreaded profile picture. You decided that taking the picture in your bedroom felt too intimate and decided to take it in the living room. You roommate, Jonah, wasn't due home from work until 8pm, so you wouldn't have to deal with a firing squad of questions, but you had to work fast.

You set up your iPhone's self-timer, propped it up on the entertainment center, and stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room. Before you had a chance to pose, the flash went off, capturing you in the most unflattering stance and lighting possible.

"Ughhh, fuck!" You growled as you looked at the picture. "Why can't I be one of those effortlessly pretty Instagram girls."

"Why would you wanna be one of those? They're all plastic and photoshop," the voice of your roommate sounded behind you.

You jumped, turned around and hid your phone behind your back, instantly earning an arched, inquisitive eyebrow from Jonah. "Watcha doin?" He asked, not bothering to hide the grin that told he knew exactly what you were doing.

You thought about lying, hiding your embarrassment from your insanely attractive roommate who obviously could not imagine what it's like to being in your position: single, depressed and sexually frustrated. But then, an idea popped into your head.

"I'm taking pictures for my Hinge account."

"Is that so?" Jonah asked, his face contorting into a mixture of confusion and humor. He made his way to the kitchen and grabbed himself a glass of water before walking back over to you. "I've gotta say, y/n, I've seen you take exactly...zero pictures of yourself since we've been living together. And I didn't take you for the online dating type."

"I'm just sick of being single!" You groaned, plopping back down on the couch.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Jonah said, taking a seat next to you.

You smiled to yourself, a perfect opening for you to ask him for help. "Maybe you can help me!"

"I'd love to help you," he responded quickly.

"Okay, perfect!" You slapped your phone against his chest. "I need you to take some photos of me and be brutally honest with me as you take them. Like tell me if they suck or not, okay?"

Jonah sighed, "Yeah, okay. I can do that."

"Great!" You said, jumping up off the couch in excitement.

You posed for Jonah, and he gave you some simple tips and instructions on how to take a really good picture. By the time it was over you had several to decent ones to choose from.

"What about this one?" You asked Jonah as you scrolled through your gallery next to him on the couch.

"I think they're all good."

"Yeah, but like do I look pretty?"

"I always think you look pretty," Jonah said in a small voice.

You tried not to let the compliment get to you; he's just saying that because you're his roommate.

"Yeah, but like-okay-so out of all these photos which one would you look at and say, 'yeah I'd date her'?"

Jonah took another deep breath. "Honestly?"

You looked at Jonah expectantly.

"All of them." He didn't look at you when he said it. He wasn't even looking at your phone or the pictures anymore. His eyes were down on his lap watching his hands as he cracked his knuckles nervously. "I think you're amazing. I think you're the most astounding woman I've ever seen. And I definitely don't think you need to be on Hinge to find someone who wants to be with you. And...I mean I guess if you do feel that way then I haven't really been doing a good job at hinting that I like you."

"Y-you? Like me?"

Jonah made eye contact with you now, his blue ones bouncing between both of yours. You'd never thought of dating Jonah because...well you never let yourself. He was one of those 'in your dreams' kind of guys, it took you two weeks to even feel comfortable sitting next to him on the sofa, but maybe that was because you'd had feelings for him all along. "I would have come out and said it but I wasn't sure if you felt the same way and I didn't want to make it weird...since you know...we live together...and I guess if you don't like me then I've just ruined it all but-"

"No! No! I definitely like you, I guess I just wasn't expecting you to like me...not like that," you laughed nervously.

Jonah scooted closer to you on the couch. "So, do we just try this out?" He put his arm around you and pulled you into his side. "Or do I need to make a Hinge account as well and match with you first?"

"No," you laughed, "I don't think there's a need for Hinge or pictures anymore."

Tags: @danielabetancourth @luna2034 @wandamaximoffbae @twinkledinkleg-blog @anonyymoouussssss @nonsensical-nonsence

✨Let me know if you want to be added to my Jonah taglist✨

#Jonah hauer king #jonah hauer king fan fiction #jonah hauer king x reader #jonah hauer king imagine #Jonah hauer-king #Jonah hauer-king imagine #jhk #fan fiction

[chaos-and-ink]

My fav lyrics from HOPE (NF)

HOPE What's my definition of success? / Creating something no one else can It's a person that can take the failures in their life and turn them into motivation / It's believing in yourself when no one else does If I'd have never hit rock bottom / Would I be the person that I am today? / I don't believe so

MOTTO Yeah, that don't make no sense to you, well, of course / See, one man's inconvenience is another's joy Where it ain't how big you are, it's how big you seem / Where people sacrifice the art tryna chase a dream / Then they wonder why they music's lackin' creativity

CAREFUL We come from the bottom, we still at the bottom

MAMA I look at the situation you had / Might of made the mistake of leavin', but it's makin' me sad / Thinkin' of you how you grew up, tryin' to cope with your past / Were you like me in your relationships and pushed away dad? I gotta know, mama Did you think you were trash? / Somethin' disposable that nobody could love or be glad? / To say they was with you, that issue is a issue I have Nobody's perfect, yeah, I guess we all fall short / And I can't hold this unforgiveness in my heart no more / So just know you're lovable to me and of course / You'll always be mama to us, so save a table for four, and know that

HAPPY Hanging by a thread's how I live / I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem / Go up in flames, acting like I don't Yeah, been this way so long / It feels like something's off when I'm not depressed I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul / And the last to admit I need a hand to hold / Losing hope, headed down a dangerous road / Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm

PANDEMONIUM Keep my enemies at arm's length, but / Close enough to make me feel safe

SUFFICE Just part of the game, yeah, it comes with the territory / It's just another day, man, I'm used to it down pourin' Who cares if underneath I'm hurtin'? / If there's one thing I've learned in / My life, it's that life is uncertain Gettin' burned is unavoidable, isn't it? / Ain't a person alive that hasn't been a victim

GONE Always saw my glass as half empty, it was never full / You were always passive and I was irresponsible

BULLET Look, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it / You ever need me for any reason, let me know Beautiful is what are you are, I know you doubt it daily Yeah, both got trauma sometimes I see it work against us / Other times I see it bring us close and connect us My lack of encouragement hovers over us both / Still you love me, it's mind blowing

TURN MY BACK I don't need nobody showing me the ropes / I don't need you, tellin' me to do my job

MISTAKE I've got qualities that I'm not proud of / I've made promises that I walked out on / I've had days I feel I don't deserve love No confidence / Struggle with it, that's obvious / But not enough to make me second guess / If I'd die for the ones I love I feel trapped / I might lash out / I gotta watch my back So think what you think, just don't call me a / Mistake

LET EM PRAY I've seen what it can do when I got both of my arms full / But still to continue to pile more on my back though Every step I've ever taken in the wrong direction / Helped me get to where I am today

RUNNING I'm tired / Of holding on to you, it's time to let / My pride / Go and learn to love myself again, yeah I'm done running from you / Spent my whole life in your shadow / Scared of who I'd be if I / Said goodbye and I didn't have you here I love you but not enough to allow you to continue to drown the both of us, you're / Holding me back, you're pulling me down, you're making me hate myself, I / Don't wanna leave, but that's what I need, I ain't got a choice, I can't just / Let you deceive and make me believe that I don't deserve to be loved

#chaos #fav songs #fav lyrics #nf #nf real music #nf music

[thedelusionalgirl]

Goals for my sanity

i feel like i'm going insane: just trying to figure what i want; my dreams, goals, aspirations for myself, i know my future job and all of that, but for my appearance i have no idea what i want to appear like to anyone, to some up i am going through an identity crisis, and this is just a note-to-self, just so i know what i want.

body: my body has always somehow been an issue for me, i have never been able to genuinely accept my body for what it is, but i guess that's just because i'm a bipolar teenage girl with daddy issues, and that comes with the package, of never being feeling like i'm enough.

wardrobe: i think we all want our dream wardrobe, so we can feel confident, because that's what clothes do to us. When we are wearing an outfit that makes us feel pretty; as humans it gives us a boost in confidence or just ego, so i guess that's all i want.

clear skin: this is self explanatory, i just want my skin to glow like when the sun hits Edward's skin. 'The diamond effect' if you will.

hair: i am very happy with my hair; i wish it to be thinner, and less dry. But, i think that my dry scalp is more so because of how often i wash my hair (which i will work on).

room: i've been listening to 'Anything Goes -Emma C.' podcast a lot, so um this is why i have my bedroom listed, my mom (as sweet as she is) bought me the floral bed sheets i've been literally dreaming of, and so i want to make my room scream me and be accustomed to me, because this is where i spend most of my time, and i feel like if i don't like my room it makes me depressed, so, yeah...

food: OK, so like everyone who struggles with body image (like myself) i feel like food has been the biggest struggle. I have three sisters, one is skinnier than me, the other is chunkier than me so I've always felt like it was a competition to be the skinniest of them both, because i have had always had this hunger for perfection, and so i don't even know where to begin on food. Breakfast and lunch; i don't eat, then for dinner eat a small portion of a low cal food. I can't seem to get out of this routine, i don't recommend it tbh, but do what you would like with that info.

edited: 09/24/22

results (will come on): 01/--/22

#glow up diaries #glow up challenge #glow up #menal health #tw ed diet #tw breakdown #tw mental health #dream girl #girl interrupted #black swan #perfect #princess

[fiercynn]

heyyy! i was wondering if you liked the os2 episodes of bbts!!! i noticed you shared some stuff regarding the first two episodes. did you enjoy eps 3 and 4 as well?

i never get asks, this is so exciting??? (probably because i don't actually spend enough time on tumblr...i was kind of starting to be on here a bit and then got depressed by a lot of the negative reactions to @end-otw-racism during their first action. but tbh getting an ask actually makes me want to engage more so THANK YOU ANON)

okay, my os2 feelings! i talked about this a bit on my twitter so i'm going to recreate some of that here, haha. but the short version is: yes, i enjoyed the whole thing! i think episode one was my favorite because i lovedddd the patpran dynamic we got there - watching pran be confident but also settled in love felt amazing to me, and i loved the little domestic notes. i think my second-favorite episode was actually the last one - not so much because i think it was a well-constructed episode (it was a little all over the place, tbh), but i ADORED the phutian ending after having felt like their relationship was getting kind of shafted for most of the special. also we got to see inkpa again!

it's hard to talk about my own feelings though about it without reflecting on the disappointment a lot of people i know have felt about the special. and i certainly understand and agree with a LOT of the critiques, they are completely valid. but i guess i'll explain a bit more about why i liked the special anyway.

firstly, i think i came into it with the feeling that because bbs is such a perfect narrative, anything we got in os2 would be a bonus, and that i could take or leave the parts i liked and didn't like to apply to my own personal love of bbs - especially since it did take place in the timeskip instead of the ending. and i especially felt this way because of knowing that there was a crossover with atots.

i think that one of the issues with crossovers in general is they force shows to draw kind of contrived parallels between characters and pairings. and similarly i think crossovers require characters to be matched up in scenes together just so you see their contrasts. so that's why we had to have two separate nights of lost in the woods, so that we could get pran & phupha as well as tian & pat. could they have done better with making parallels that made more sense for both couples? sure. but i wasn't totally surprised that the crossover parts felt clunky/over-worked. i also think crossovers prioritize humorous moments over character-building ones. they're just really not a good vehicle for storytelling imo - they're more just about seeing your faves up on screen together.

as far as patpran's conflict in these episodes - again, totally valid & understandable that people are upset & feel like it was unresolved! for me, though, it felt like a pretty natural part of their progression as a couple. my friend @/siri_dechawat on twitter has a great thread about it that i totally agree with. and also i think it's worth thinking about how long patpran's history is, how many old hurts they still have that probably aren't fully resolved. i was once in a relationship that reminds me of that, a relationship that had six years of fraught history before it got happy, and my recollection is that by the time you get to the place where you're secure in that kind of relationship, you don't always revisit those old hurts because you have the feeling that now you're happy, so why look back so much? but they can still flare up and it can be hard to talk about them, so you try to work through them yourself and that isn't always easy.

to me, the fact that patpran kept up a lot of their usual dynamic - teasing, competing, cuddling, even while they're in the middle of a fight - felt very organic. they can't always say exactly what they're feeling, but they still express affection. and for me, the fact that they were having this fight at all about pran's independence & pat's self-sacrifice wasn't at all going backwards from the original show. the second half of bbs doesn't actually have them resolving a lot of those things out loud.

at the end of the day, while this is the last time we'll see patpran onscreen (sob), it's not their ending. it's not even the ending that we see of them. we know where they end up by ep 12 and it's pretty perfect imo. and the fact that they are not always perfect at communicating along the way is okay with me. we know they end up on the same page (ha) even if these episodes had some conflict around that. we know where their love is.

okay i said all this and i stand by it, but also if you have read any of my fic you know that i LOVE writing canon-divergence AUs, so i did a series of them for os2 as well based on prompts i got on twitter! i ended up with twelve separate "what if" scenarios for how various scenes in the special could have gone differently - just episodes one through three, because i wasn't as much in a writing mood after the last one - and i collected them together in an ao3 post called in another lifetime. i think my favorite ones within there are mountain, a h/c ficlet patpran do actually make it up pha pun dao, and secrets, an extension of the last patpran scene in episode three. so if you were unsatisfied by various scenes in the special, maybe you will like these as fix-its? :D? anyway thank you again anon for the ask!!!! maybe i will try to be on tumblr more again...

#bad buddy #our skyy 2 #a tale of thousand stars #meta #patpran #phutian #inkpa #shameless plug for my fic oops #our skyy x bad buddy x a tale of thousand stars #asking me answering you

[fictionkinfessions]

With how stuck I am in this kin shift right now, a lot has come back to me, especially my love for my brothers (not technically but in the found family sense yknow). So.. I am now required to send an ask talking to them all and hope... something. I'm not entirely sure what I'm hoping for tbch.

Firstly, Branch; You were like a little brother to me. I loved hanging out with you, and singing you to sleep, and playing with you- you were the cutest kid, and it was obvious you were going to grow up into an amazing Troll. But when your brothers left, it hurt you to see me, so I left to hopefully let you grow up and forget that pain... At least a little. I hadn't seen you until John Dory and I showed up also I'm so sorry about his entrance I literally begged him to be normal about it/lh and... It was really nice seeing you all grown up and happy with someone as amazing as Poppy (The Queen??? Of Pop Trolls????). She was very polite even if she was excited, and I very much enjoyed spending time with her. You two are perfect for each other /gen. I know I didn't give you much of an explanation about why my color wasn't as bright anymore, and I hope you never thought I was hiding it from you. I just didn't want to ruin the moment with something depressing like going Grey. You grew into an awesome guy, and it was nice to learn who "Big Branch" was /gen/t. I'm.. I'm also sorry. About Grandma. About not being there for you when it happened, or not being there to prevent it. I'm so sorry none of us were there for you.. I know it doesn't change anything, but I don't know if we ever actually said we were sorry. We felt it, and I know you knew it. But it's nice to hear it, sometimes. You will always be my brother, and I'll be there for you whenever you need me. I promise.

Also, to Poppy: thank you for taking care of my brother, and thank you for loving him. You make him so happy, and I'm so glad you two met. I remember you talking(squealing?) about a song of mine, and I wish I could remember what it was /lh

Bruce; you've always been amazing, and I considered you my favorite older brother. There was so much pressure for you to keep that impossible body standard set for you, and I can't tell you how happy I was to see you and your dad bod, rocking it up on Vacay island with your wife and kids. We always worked out together and talked about the pressures we were struggling with, and you gave me some amazing advice. Like, all of the time. And that never changed. When we found you, you continued to be someone I could confide in, as if we started right back where we left off. And you comforted me a lot whenever I got too anxious about Floyd's situation and his well-being. Thank you for that... You were also the one I opened up to about why I had went Grey, and you were so supportive, and we had an amazing talk. Oh! Also: Your hugs were great before, but now? Dude, total cuddle city. I remember taking naps with you all the time when we were younger, but that definitely stayed a thing when we were older lmfao. But yeah, you've always been someone I've looked up to, and trusted, and you know things that I've been to nervous or afraid to say to anyone else. I love you, bro. I hope this life is treating you with the kindness you deserve.

Clay; I remember you helping me out with choreos- you were always such a talented dancer. I remember going to you for pointers and you were always so happy to help me find my own style. I wouldn't've gotten as far as I did without your help and lessons. We didn't hang out all the time or anything, but you were always the most observant, and very frequently noticed things the others didn't. Especially when it came to me. We've had lots of talks because of that, and I've always cherished all of them. I don't remember the details of many anymore, but I remember how they felt, and I cherish that too. There were many times during our journey that you pulled me aside to check up on me, and I really appreciated that. Even if I shrugged off my worries, it was nice to know that if I needed someone to talk to, you'd notice. We bonded a lot over books, too, I remember that. I more preferred mysteries over sad books, but there was an overlap in the genres that I remember us talking extensively about, before you left. I hope you're not afraid to be fun, anymore. I'm sorry that part of yourself was blown out of proportion to the point of you resenting it, but even when you try to be boring, the fun will always slip out /affectionate, It's as much a part of you as the serious side is: I just hope you're allowed to live more in balance nowadays. And I know for a fact you got that drip still, you've always been pretty fond of clothes and accessories lol.

Floyd; You were my best friend, easily. You and Bruce were the ones I trusted the most out of anyone ever, and that never changed. We even published some songs together which was super fun, and I've been trying to remember them lately. You were always the one to mend any fights between the brothers, and I was always the one you vented to after. You were all under so much stress all the time especially in that last year or so, and... I think you knew you guys would disband soon, and it was really tough on you. I hope I helped, even just a little. It was hard when you guys left, and you asked me to take care of baby b while you were gone, and.. I tried. I really did try. but.. Branch and I couldn't look at each other without thinking of you guys so. I had to leave; if only for Branch. But during my time alone, you somehow found me and the little home tree I made out in the middle of Nowhere. And we lived together for a while. I don't know if it's because I was Grey at the time, or you just wanted a place to settle down for a bit and knew I'd let you stay, but I loved hearing your stories. During your time away, you had traveled all over the place and discovered all sorts of music, big and small- it was amazing. Your music was so unique, a little bit of a whole lot; but it fit you. Even if your brothers didn't understand at first /lh. I hope you're doing okay, and that you're happy and healthy.

Last and definitely not the least, JD; We used to work on songs together, helping each other out when we were stuck, giving ideas and helpful critiques. Which is yknow, pretty much what musicians do when friends with other musicians lol. But sometimes you'd let slip about your worries about your brothers, about not wanting to let them down but not really knowing what was the right thing to do. You loved them so much, and there was so much pressure all the time, from the fans to having to take care of four brothers.. It's okay that you made some mistakes. Please don't carry that guilt with you. At least in my canon, you wanted to do better and you did do better, and slowly learned how to not overwhelm yourself with trying to make your brothers your entire responsibility (that's a lot for one Troll). I felt guilty for disturbing your isolation, because honestly you seemed to be enjoying the peace, but I didn't know who else to go to when Floyd got captured, y'know? Plus you were the easiest to find /hj. But yeah. You grew up into a super cool dude, in my opinion. You learned so many things in your time alone, and had so many weapons??? Like.. So many weapons. You and Branch may be the oldest and youngest but mannnn.... it's obvious you two are bros lmfao. The Survivalist Duo in action was a sight to see lol. We had a more friend dynamic than brothers but. I do miss you, man. I hope you're doing good. /gen

If you don't remember me, and/or aren't from my canon, please know that this still applies to you. Each and every one of you is so special and talented, and I will always wish only the best for all of you. I hope you're able to find each other again, if that's something you want. I truly miss all of you, my dearest friends. My brothers.

-Lyle #🐾🪩

〰

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #🐾🪩 #lylekin #trollskin #bandtogetherkin #chara love #apology #mod party cat

[syubub]

What makes BTS most vulnerable

Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!

I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.

Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

So so so so

First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!

Let's start with the group first

So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.

All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?

I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.

The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)

Seokjin

This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.

As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.

As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.

What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)

Yoongi

????

Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?

Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?

Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.

As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.

Hoseok

This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.

And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.

This exposes him to depression and doubt.

Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.

Namjoon

Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.

So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.

So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?

Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?

As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.

As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.

Jimin

Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.

How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.

As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.

Taehyung

Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.

As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.

Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.

Jungkook

So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.

How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.

The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.

Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.

With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.

The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?

For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?

As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!

~~~~~~~

I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?

My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!

#bts tarot #bts readings #bts reactions #bts imagines #seokjin #jin #suga #yoongi #min yoongi #Hoseok #jhope #bts jhope #namjoon #rm #bts rm #bts jimin #jimin #park jimin #taehyung #bts v #jungkook #jk #jeon jungguk #hoseok #bts

[watermelonlovershigh]

Bisexual Harry (MILD SMUT w/ MOSTLY FLUFF)

ATTENTION- THIS IS STRICKLY FICTIONAL (NOT REAL). I'M FULLY AWARE THAT HARRY HAS NOT CAME OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS TO BE UNLABLED. I ENJOY BI HARRY FANFICS BUT THERE ARE NOT MANY OUT THERE SO I DECIDED TO WRITE ONE. ALSO THE TRAITS I WILL BE CONCIDERING AS BISEXUAL TRAITS ARE FULLY DEPENDENT ON THE INDIVIDUAL. I HATE STEREOTYPING. JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT JUST BECAUSE HARRY DOES THESE THINGS IN THIS STORY THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SOMEONE BISEXUAL OR EVEN GAY. LASTLY I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT I'M NOT BISEXUAL MYSELF BUT THE IDEA OF BEING WITH A MAN WHO IS, IS A TURN ON. NOT IN A FETISH TYPE WAY. JUST THE VULNERABILITY AND OPENNESS OF ENJOYING EITHER WOMEN OR MEN IS INCREADIBE TO ME. THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY.

Harry told me early on into our relationship that he was bisexual. He was so nervous that I would leave him, but it just made me fall more in love with him. He told me late one night about 6 months into dating, on his couch. The second he told me, Harry broke down into real raw tears. The first time I'd seen Harry actually cry. Yeah I'd seen him cry during sappy movies but this was so much more than that. These tears had fear in them. Fear that I would leave him. They had vulnerability in them for being so open. But also a weight was lifted off his chest, just happy to tell me. I held Harry in my arms and cried with him, telling him how much I loved him and that this doesn't change anything. That I loved him just as much.

Only a few people in Harrys life knew he was bisexual. His close family. His close friends. That was it. If it got out in the media, the internet would have gone wild. Of course there were many rumors about his sexuality. Most of them being that he's gay. For the longest time he actually thought he might be gay. He had a lot of 'gay tendencies': painted nails, feminine clothes, pearl necklaces. But he also had very 'mainly tendencies' like watching football and drinking beer with the lads. Harry was just so conflicted all his life. Not knowing what he was. That's until the age of 18. One of his school friends came out as bisexual and that's when it clicked for him. He liked both male and females and he was okay with that. He excepted that part of him. He was more worried about what others would say or think. His family was very supportive. His friends were too. They never treated Harry differently knowing that they were straight and he was sexually attracted to them. Well not so much them specifically because they were more like brothers, but the male species as a whole.

Being in sexual relationships were on a new level of fear for Harry. Fear that when he was having sex with a guy, that the guy would try and convince him he's actually just gay. Or the fear that any women he had sex with would say he wasn't manly enough for them. Needless to say, Harry kept his sexuality a secret from most of his one night stands or short term relationships. He just didn't feel the need to tell them unless they asked specifically if he was bi or not.

Me and Harry meet at a local club in London a few years back. He was with his bandmates at the time. I was by myself because my boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. I was devastated and needed to escape reality. That meant drink until my body went numb. Unfortunately for me though, I wasn't that much of a drinker so my body rejected the alcohol pretty fast. I stumbled onto the London streets trying to get fresh air but ended up puking my guts out in a near by bin. Harry just so happened to be outside at that moment and saw the whole thing before his eyes. He rushed over to me and pulled my hair back to prevent more vomit from getting in it. Then he asked if I was alright and who I was with. I told him I came there alone so he insisted I come back to his place. Because my brain was fuzzy from the alcohol, I didn't hesitate one bit. Harry set up his guest room for me and helped me to bed that night. Something I'm forever grateful for. If it wasn't for him, I could've been kidnapped and raped by a stranger on the streets. When I woke up the next day, I realized who's house I was in. All of the music awards on the shelf in the room I stayed in gave it away. I was never a big fan of One Direction, no reason in particular, so I didn't act like a fangirl would have. Before I left his house, he gave me his number to call if I ever needed someone to talk to. Considering he was an international popstar and all, he sure was the most genuine person I'd ever meet. Taking care of a complete stranger and even giving them his phone number. I never thought I'd actually call him though. Or even see him again, but about a week later, I ran into him at a local coffee shop and we started talking form there. The rest was history.

We hung out all the time. He invited me to a few One Direction concerts. Even had sex a few times. Amazing sex I might add. It truly was great. Even though at the time, I had to remain secret from the public. More so said by Harry then his management. Mainly to keep me safe and out of the media knowing how private I liked to be. Three months of seeing each other and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was thrilled. Then six months into our relationship, Harry realized how serious our relationship was becoming. That we both had strong feeling for each other. So that's when Harry decided to tell me he was bisexual. On his couch. Late one night. He wanted to get it out of the way so he didn't have to hide that part of himself with me. So he could be himself around me. If I excepted him that was and of course I did.

Approximately two years after dating, Harry purposed. He was basically shitting bricks the whole time, but he did it. I didn't hesitate one second before I said yes. We were in love. At this point, the media had found me and Harry out. Most of his fans adored me. Some said our relationship was fake. And others just flat out said I was keeping Harry closeted, not allowing him to be gay. But I knew the truth. I knew he was bisexual, not gay. I never doubted his sexuality one bit. Especially��how he devoured my body when we made love. Any gay person would probably gag at the sight of a women's pussy. Not Harry. It was his favorite part of my body. A year after Harry filmed the movie Dunkirk (2017), we got married. It was a small wedding. Just close family and friends invited. It was perfect.

Now here we are in the current year of 2021 and we're still going strong. A few fights here and there, but because both Harry and I have too big of hearts, we always feel bad after fighting and immediately apologize to one another. The media had tried to split us up multiple times but it's never been successful. Our love for each other is too strong and everlasting.

Just because Harry is in a happy, loving heterosexual relationship, doesn't mean he feels completely secure about his sexuality all the time. In the beginning of our relationship, Harry tried to completely throw away any 'bisexual' tendencies he had even though he knew I supported him. For instance, there was many times Harry wanted to paint his nails but didn't. Or would refrain from gushing over sexy guys in movies we watched together. That's when I noticed he was becoming depressed. He stopped writing music. He would disengage in activities we tried to do together. Even pushed me away when I tried to have sex with him. I felt hopeless. Until one morning I asked him what was wrong, and he spilled everything. How he tries so hard to suppress the bisexual side of his character for me. For our relationship. Harry explained that he had the desire to paint his nails vibrant colors and wanted to wear feminine clothes sometimes. Something that was particularly hard for Harry to confess to me was how he even wanted to try anal. On me or me with a strap on fucking him. Right away I made us an appointment to get our nails done at a salon. Then I told him he could wear a trash bag and he'd still be the most beautiful mainly man I'd ever seen. Lastly, I grabbed my laptop and went online shopping for female strap ons, letting Harry pick the girth and size he wanted. Yes I was a little nervous to actually fuck him, but he assured me he would help me out every step of the way. As for anal on me, I mentioned how I would be nervous but how I also trusted him. Trusted him enough to penetrate me anally. That I knew he would be extra careful with me.

Needless to say, I made Harry more confident. Confident in his sexuality. I got him to come out as bisexual to the public. I let him explore his bisexuality in the bedroom. Though of course he still worshiped my pussy. We had weekly appointments to get our nails painted. Harry even wore a dress out to a date night one night. He was super scared and on edge the whole night but I kept whispering in his ear how I couldn't wait to rip that dress off of him and fuck him in the ass until he cried out of pleasure.

I honestly loved that Harry was bisexual. It was almost like a turn on for me. He was both a gym buff and my little princess. He had thick arm muscles and toned abs, as well as pink nails and pearl necklaces. Anytime he mentioned how hot a guy on tv was, we could gush over him together. Or how sensitive and vulnerable he was at times. A lot of guys hold in their emotions, thinking men can't express their feelings, but not Harry. If he felt the need to cry, he would. Right in front of me. It could be triggered by a sad movie or a animal abuse commercial. Also, on the rare occasions he asks for it, I would fuck him with the strap on in his mouth. Though a rubber penis didn't quite taste like the real thing, salty mixed with sweat, he loved to deepthroat it anyways. Watching him choke and gag around the fake penis made my pussy drip. We even bought a strap on dildo that had a vibrator on the back side of it. That way every time the fake cock would enter his mouth, the vibrator would stimulate me clit, giving me pleasure as well.

No matter how much the media tried to convince Harry he was in fact gay and didn't actually like women, he would ignore the rude comments and prove to me everyday that he in fact loved me. Me as a women. Loved my smile. Loved me eyes. Loved the way my boobs bounced while having sex. Often grabbing them in his hands and stimulating my nipples. Loved the way my tight pussy felt around his dick. Or the way my sweet juices tasted on his tongue when he ate me out. Yes he loved dick. Yes he loved balls. Yes he loved being railed to death from behind. But he also liked vagina and he loved boobs. Harry wanted to make love to me and get me pregnant. Watch my stomach grow. Be there to hold my hand when I deliver the baby. Help change diapers at 3 am when I'm to tired to do so. Teach our kids to love and respect everyone and be themselves. Be open to our kids about his sexuality. Give them knowledge on bisexuality and educate them on the matter. Instead of assuming they are straight by asking his future son if he has a girlfriend yet or asking his daughter if she has a boyfriend, Harry will ask if the have a partner or fancy anyone in particular. Love his children for who they are or who they want to become. Be a role model for them. And live happily ever after with me, his supportive wife, by his side.

MASTERLIST

#bisexual #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #bi #biharry #biharrystyles #bifanfiction #smut #fluff #love #married #harrystyles #harry #onedirection #1D #1d #husband #wife

[writingsfromstarfleet]

Safe Space - Elim Garak X Reader

A/N: For a lovely Anon, as always please enjoy and I hope it’s what you wanted! You lot too, thank you for reading! X

TW: mentions of self harm/depression etc. so if that makes you uncomfortable, please skip this one! Know also that if you’re going through anything like this that you are loved and you are wonderful x

Life, in your case, had been easy in the eye of others. For years, your family had been a part of Starfleet, and it was practically paved in stone for you to follow in their footsteps. You were academically gifted, and not to mention the few hobbies you had on the side, too. To others, your life was idyllic. A loving family, a good education, a career. Nothing in your life was anything less than perfect.

Except it was.

You struggled with what people couldn't see, and it had affected you greatly. For years, you had dealt with declining mental health issues, despite your best efforts to not let it stop you from achieving what you wanted. In lieu of it all, however, you had secured yourself a place on Deep Space Nine, studying and working alongside some of the most talented minds in  Starfleet.

Over the course of your stay there, you had made friends along the way who you knew would be for life. Your closest friend, however, came in the form of the stations resident Cardassian, Elim Garak. An unlikely bond, you clicked with him after he opened up to you about his own struggles, and you knew in that moment he was going to be your safe place.

And he was. Every time you had an issue, regardless of how big or small, Garak was there for you through it all. Where you would be without him, you didn't know, nor did you want to know. Garak was more than happy to help you with anything and everything, and always reassured you that he would never judge you. Thus, you did. You told him everything, and each time you were met with kindness and understanding, a shoulder to cry on.

Though, things did begin to go bad again. Your mental health had taken a dip, and you had managed to convince yourself that you had no right to be aboard the station, that you were taking up someone else's place. You convinced yourself that there were smarter and better qualified people at the academy waiting for your job. You convinced yourself that your friends weren't really your friends, that they simply put up with you. Through it, you played off to your friends that you were fine, a false smile plastered on your face and laughter that was less than genuine leaving your lips. Every single day, it became almost routine and began to get exhausting.

Often, you thought of Garak. Your brain told you that he didn't really care, just like the others; it told you that you shouldn't bother him with your problems when he could have things he's dealing with himself. Which is why, as you sat in your quarters, you looked down to your healed scars, and you took a turn for the worse.

Garak wondered where you were, usually you would meet him at this time every day for a drink, and his shop felt empty without you sat on the couch bugging him to finish up. He told himself you were caught up with work, as most of the crew had been recently. Carrying on working, he couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was off. It was only when it reached the hour mark that he decided to shut up shop for the day and venture off to your quarters. You were far more important than any pair of pants.

Hearing the door ring, you decided to remain quiet, not bothering to even check who was there. You were lay on the bed, the cuts on your legs stinging and your eyes sore and red from crying. You were hardly in a state to see anybody anyway. Still, the door persisted. Very quietly, you sighed and, climbing under the covers, you shouted for them to enter. In walked Garak, and in seconds he was by your side.

"Is everything alright, Y/N? I missed you today." he spoke softly, placing a hand on your forehead as if checking you were well.

"M'fine, just tired..." your voice was muffled and quiet, and Garak became concerned. You most certainly were not your usual self. You snuggled yourself into the blanket, and Garak's hand moved to your shoulder.

"Alright. Are you going to tell me what's actually happened, then?" The tone of his voice made clear to you that he didn't believe anything you were saying. It's true what they say; you can't kid a kidder. He looked down when you didn't answer, unsure of what to say next. His eyes wandered to the small stain on the floor just beneath the bed, and he darted his eyes back up to yours, which were currently focused on the side table.

"I'm sorry," you began, sensing there was no point in arguing; he knew exactly what had happened. "I really am, I just-"

"You need not apologise to me," he cut you off, pulling your head up from its place half under the cover to make you look at him. "Nor do you have to explain. I understand. I only wish you had come to me sooner, you're too dear to me to ever have you in such a position where you feel this is the only way out."

You blinked back a few tears, and he cupped your face with one hand, his free hand coming to rest lightly on your leg, which was still under covers. You flinched, and he sighed to himself. He knew from your past conversations that you had harmed previously there, and sensed that was what had occurred this time. You sniffed, and moved aside slightly, a silent invitation for him to join you. Garak wasted no time in rising from his kneeling position to sitting atop your bed next to the covers, which you still had wrapped firmly around you, not wanting him to see the mess. You brought yourself to his side, and his arms found their way around you, one resting at the small of your back and one running through your hair.

A fair few minutes of silence passed, Garak offering as much comfort to you as he could. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, either, it was welcomed, and you stayed there in his arms for what felt like forever before you felt confident enough to speak up.

"I'm sorry, Garak. I know you always say to come to you, and I don't really know why I didn't. I was convinced everyone doesn't want me here, including you, and I guess it just scared me.. it sounds pathetic, doesn't it," you interrupted yourself with a small chuckle; saying it out loud made it sound ridiculous.

"Does that sound as foolish to you as it does to me now you've said it?" Garak's words sunk in, and you admitted to yourself it did indeed sound awfully idiotic. "I understand these feelings, I understand how hard they can be to deal with, Y/N, you know that. And I know that often, you can feel that there's no other way out than to harm yourself. But I do want you to know that, as powerful as those thoughts can be, they are not the answer. Always, they are incorrect. We love you, all of us. There's not a single person I know who says a bad word about you. Never feel alone, Y/N, we're all here for you. This was never the answer. Promise me it will never be the answer you choose again."

"I'll never be able to thank you, you know," you started, voice a little louder this time. "You're wonderful."

"As long as you're alright, that's thanks enough, my dear Y/N."

Lifting your head to look at him, you shifted and smiled to him. His face softened at seeing you smile, glad that he had managed to make you smile, at least.

"You do have a way with words, Garak. Somehow you always have the right thing to say, and it's always what I need. I promise you, this won't happen again."

It was Garak's turn to smile, for he knew that you were telling him the truth. After all, you can't kid a kidder.

#tw: depression #tw: self harm #star trek #star trek imagine #star trek x reader #star trek deep space nine #star trek ds9 #deep space nine #ds9 #elim garak #garak #garak x reader #garak imagine #x reader #imagine

[eventidespirits]

Name: Laci Lydia Brighton-Lee

Nicknames/Aliases: None.

True Age: 41

Apparent Age: 22

Emotional Age: 6-22 (average of about 13-17)

Concept: Age Sliding Oracle

Species: Vampire (Revenant)

Gender: Cis Girl

Sexuality: Asexual Heteroromantic

Birthday: January 8th 1976

Death Day: October 31st 1998

Residence: Santa Marta, California

Universe: Primarily Original Universe but also Vampire the Masquerade (where she is Clan Malkavian).

Appearance:

Height: 4'7

Build: Petite and quite thin, Laci looks almost frail to most people and can be easily mistaken for a teen or preteen. She has a short torso and long limbs for her height.

Face Shape: Laci has a rounded face with a pointed chin, full cheeks and high cheekbones.

Eye Color/Shape: bright amber/Hazel. Deep-set with heavy, almost droopy eyelids and very thick lashes. Laci usually has a sort of sleepy look to her eyes, accentuated by her permanent dark circles and under eye bags.

Hair Color/Style: About shoulder length with a natural 2B/2C curl pattern. Her hair is naturally black but she has a badly bleached portion in the front that looks bright orange. Has very short, somewhat uneven bangs and her hair is a little shorter in the front than the back. Usually worn up in pigtails or twin buns.

Skin Tone/Texture: Unnaturally smooth and pale with an under-saturated yellow undertone. Doesn't look particularly healthy.

Distinguishing Features: Laci is very short and this is usually the first thing people notice about her -- she also has very large, expressive eyes. She has both eyebrows pierced, a nostril piercing on her left side and snakebites. Both ears have triple lobe piercings and two helix piercings.

Posture: Depends on her current emotional age but as a general rule, Laci's posture is somewhat folded in on herself, somewhat shy and insecure. When she's at an older emotional age, her posture is more confident and open. Laci's body language is dreamy and distant, her steps usually slow and unsure. She walks through the world like she's in an endless dream.

Voice: Somewhat nasal but with a distinct huskiness/vocal fry -- her actual pitch is somewhat higher and definitely comes across as a little bit childish.

Clothing Style: Laci is very much a goth -- she's almost always wearing at least one piece of clothing with mesh or fishnet (she doesn't like lace as much) -- the primary colors in her wardrobe are black, charcoal gray and purple, with occasional hints of neon green. She prefers pants and shorts with tights over skirts and dresses. She tends to prefer lays -- wearing tank tops over mesh shirts under hooded sweat shirts and so on. She has a fondness for collars and very high platform boots. An average outfit for Laci would be a pair of shorts with striped tights and knee-high socks, 4 inch platform boots, a mesh shirt under a tank top and a short sleeved hoodie with several bracelets, fingerless gloves and a collar of some sort.

Notable Mannerisms: Laci is often chewing on her lower lip or playing with her piercings. She often curls her hair around her fingers or plays with the hem of her short. Despite being a vampire and getting no real benefit or harm from it, Laci still smokes clove cigarettes (a habit she had as a human). Laci also has a tendency to sort of bounce in place when she's bored.

Skills:

Physical: Self-Defense, gymnastics, pickpocketing, small firearms

Social: Social Media, Bullshitting, Sweet-talking, Blame-Shifting, Persuasion

Talents: breaking & entering, stealth, being cute, dancing

Knowledges: Santa Marta Underground, Streets & Back Alleys, Hacking, Computers, Social Media manipulation, explosives, Revenant Signs & Grafitti

Hobbies: Pickpocketing assholes at cafes/coffeeshops, preventing the apocalypse, clubbing, coloring books, dancing, photography/instagram

Special: The Sight, precognition, increased speed & strength, darkvision/nightsight, some minor telepathy/empathy, some emotional influence, "immortality"

Psyche

Strengths: Clever, quick-witted, good at lying, adaptive, quick-learner, strong sense of justice, compassionate, sweet, dedicated/tenacious, in touch with her emotions, good with kids, generally empathetic

Weaknesses: overly-emotional, immature, irresponsible, stubborn, impatient, overly curious, has trouble understanding rationality, has difficulty understanding the motives/perspectives of others even if she can understand their feelings, hot-headed, prone to fits of mania and/or depression, way too fucking blunt at times, bad at explaining herself, bad at understanding her own motives at times.

Mental Health Issues: Bipolar Disorder, Age Regression, Hallucinations, Anxiety, Possible ADHD?

Goals: Stop the God-Damned Apocalypse, have fun, make friends, help people

Guiding Philosophies: Do your best to preserve life but know that in the end you'll have to hurt people to stop the apocalypse, try your best to make people laugh and improve their lives, make the world a better place, punish evil whenever you see it, offer help to the helpless and compassion to the weak and downtrodden of society, bash the fash

Sense of Humor: Laci delights in pulling pranks on her friends or making absolutely random, inane comments that leave others confused. She also likes puns and dumb memes.

Overall Personality:Chaotic and trickster-ish. Laci is an enigma to most of the people around her, often including herself. She is bright and spontaneous most of the time but can become somber and serious at the drop of a hat. Her general mood and energy are frantic, high energy and unpredictable. When she comes to care about someone, she's incredibly protective of them to the extent that she can be and will do about anything to make them happy or keep them safe.

Deep down, Laci is frustrated with her inability to remember most of her human life and desperately wishes she could regain it -- however, most of her efforts are currently focused on preventing the Awakening of a being she knows only as The Myriad Eyes, which Laci believes will cause the end of the world if it does wake from it's slumber. Her methods of doing so are...erratic and often nonsensical due to her lack of general knowledge about the thing, seeing only glimpses of it through her precognition and sight.

Little Laci: Mostly the same as Big Laci (described above) but less able to focus on her goals, more dependent on others and more emotional.

-In Love: Laci can't remember being in love. She knows vaguely that she was dating someone who had broken up with her just before she became a vampire but more than that is blurry. When she does crush on someone (which is rare) she's usually very shy around them, having difficulty speaking and becoming very awkward (think moe anime girl)

-Under Stress: Erratic, irritable and far more emotional than usual. Laci becomes inconsolably upset when under stress very quickly -- prone to lashing out in anger and having complete breaks from reality of the stress is severe enough. Stress is also the number one trigger for Laci's age regression, the more intense the stress, the further back she slides.

-Alone: Laci doesn't really get to be alone due to being haunted by her best friend as a human who she accidentally killed after her Change...When it's just Laci and Amy, Laci can be very quiet and withdrawn, just focusing on whatever task is at hand and desperately hoping Amy doesn't decide to cause any problems.

Life

Best Memory: Becoming part of the Revenant Vampire Community under Santa Marta

Worst Memory: Waking up after being Changed and killing her best friend.

Biggest Accomplishment: Hitting 100 cellphones stolen from assholes at Eventide Coffee

Prized Possession: her spiderweb mug

Favorite Color: Black, Purple, Lime Green

Favorite Food:

-Mortal Food: Mocha Frappe, Triple Chocolate Muffins, Cherry Soda, Monster Energy, Tiramisu, Fried Oreos

-Blood: She doesn't care, all the bagged stuff tastes like shit anyway.

Favorite Scents: Cloves, Cotton Candy, Bubblegum, Gunpowder, Fresh Coffee, Freshly Baked Bread, Coconut, Vanilla, Lime, Grapefruit

Favorite Songs: Hunger - Ayria, The Girl Anachronism - Dresden Dolls, I'm So Sick - Flyleaf, Counting Bodies Like Sheep - A Perfect Circle, Looking Glass - The Birthday Massacre, Placebo Effect - Siouxsie and the Banshees, Amnesia - Mind.In.A.Box

Can’t Leave Home Without: Her phone, her cigarette case, a few packets of blood

History

Birthplace: Santa Marta, California

Childhood:: Laci can remember her fifth birthday where she had her first vision of the future and of the party being ended prematurely. She also remembers starting therapy at twelve.

Adolescence: Laci remembers her first day of middle school -- which went rather badly, remembers going to anti-prom and getting kicked out of her parents' house at 18.

Adulthood: What little Laci can remember of her adulthood, she was working as a barista at a local coffee shop while working with a group of friends on a local anarchist zine. She was dating one of the editors on the zine until he cheated on her and broke up with her on October 20th 1998. During a manic episode that followed, she cut her hair and bleached her bangs (with the intent of dyeing them purple). She and her best friend were kidnapped by a vampire outside a local goth club on Halloween.The vampire would turn Laci and leave Amy in the room with her to kill during her first feeding. The trauma of her change (which occurred fully within only three hours) and subsequently murdering her best friend seems to have induced age regression and severe amnesia in Laci. She cannot recall the name or appearance of her Sire or even the majority of her life, outside of small snippets from here and there.

Recent: Laci has been living in Santa Marta in the Revenant Community since they found her in 2002. It's not sure if she's actually part of the Revenant bloodline or not but they don't really care about that. She's got a small apartment in Bram Park, not far from the Sidetracks bar, which contains one of the main entrances to the Underground.

Relationships

Family: Sanity (Adopted Sister, a fellow vampire)

Lovers: None

Friends: Art ??? (a local hacker and vampire), Alex Hyde (Revenant Vampire, clubbing and goth buddy), Louis DeFantome (Siren Vampire, local goth artist), Maggie Rodriguez (Local Witch)

Enemies: Amy (Ghost, haunting), Ella DuChamps (Local cultist), The Myriad Eyes (???)

Acquaintances: ???

Resources

Income: Working Poor

Vehicles: None

Residences: A 1br/1ba apartment in the attic of a Victorian house that's been converted into a triplex in the Bram Park neighborhood.

#about: laci #laci #laci tag #muse profile #original lore rp #rp character #vampire #vtm

[iplaymatchmaker]

Hi there, me again, if I read the rules correctlyyou said we could do a separate ask for a separate game. If I read incorrectlyplease just ignore this, if not if my first ask wasn't to much I'd love to ask for an ikerev matchup as well! I'm bi, female (she/her) sagittarius sun, virgo rising, libra moon, ENFT. I'm 5'2, chubby/curvy w/ great boobs, I have longer  brunette hair w/ peekaboo highlights (they've been every color, but currently pink), brown eyes, glasses/contacts, 7 piercings & 26 tattoos. I'm very empathetic (sometimes to a fault) and have sever anxiety and depression. It takes me awhile to warm up around new people and be myself. I often feel intimidated in big social settings, such as parties, and often use alcohol for some liquid courage to help me let loose and be me in those situations. I've suffered some emotional and mental abuse at the hands of a step parent which has left me with some trauma and triggers; people raising their voice at me or making quick movements toward me or in my direction usually result in me crying and secluding myself for awhile. Oh and I have daddy issues, thanks absent father. That said I also don't do great with authority, I hate being told what to do, and I hate being told no. I can put up with a lot of shit, but eventually it usually becomes a 'straw that broke the camels back' situation and I fly off the handle and then break down. I am also extremely generous and do all I can to help my friends and family when they need it. I have some self confidence issues from weight gain, and I usually feel my best when I'm dolled up with my makeup on and hair done, usually with a dress and heels. I'm a Ravenclaw thats hates to read, but I love learning & know tons of trivia; like I know so many random facts about so many things from history, to movies, to graveyards, and much more. I often correct people on things, which some perceive as me belittling them, but its never my intention I'm just trying to share my knowledge and trying to help them. I am very creative I love crafting; resin art, macrame, cross stich, those are just some of my favorite things to do art wise, I also enjoy coloring books. I love to laugh and think I'm pretty funny, I usually have a dark sense of humor, if you don't like humor we won't vibe together, and if you can't make me laugh we will not be a good relationship match. I like to go to the bar and do karaoke, it's one thing I've learned I'mvery good at. It took me about 2 years, but I've since learned to be confident with my singing and now its one of my favorite things to do. I drink, obviously, gin and tonic is my favorite. I also smoke, I love my hookah, and I've had my medical card for about a year and it's done wonders for my insomnia and cramps. For about 2 years I've been getting severe cramps and stomach pains, and after 5 er trips in a month they didn't find anything, its still a mystery but at least the bud helps the pain. l'm very into the witchy aesthetic; my style is either very Stevie Nicks, pinup, or 2009 emo/scene depending on the day. I collect animal skulls and bone, taxidermy, crystals, and plants; I also practice the craft & love to make spell jars for people. I love tarot and really enjoy doing it. I live for Halloween & enjoy all things macabre! My favorite show is That 70's Show and if I could live in a replica of the Forman's house that would be my dream. I am also very sex positive and rather adventurous in bed. I'm a brat and a voyeur, I'll get down with just about anything. My love language is giving and receiving gifts. I put alot of thought into holidays like Christmas, I plan months in advance to make sure I get everyone the perfect gift; but I also will sometimes see something that just reminds me of someone and have to get it for them. That is all I can think of right now to add about myself. I'd love 4 and/or 10 for the prompt part. And again thank you for doing these, I'm such a ho for them, and again I'm sorry its long.

I match you with

Edgar!

Thank you so much for requesting 🥰🥰! I’m sorry this took so long, but here it is! I hope you enjoy it ❤️! I Hope you don’t mind the sprinkle of angst in the second ask.😅

I was thinking Ray at first, but I ended up going with Mr smooth, since Ray is too predictable after Nap.

Edgar is known among the red army officers as the person who will make you feel safe, especially during your first encounters with them, before you find out they’re all dorks.  What he doesn’t expect is how at home he feels when the two of you are together. He never feels like he’s being judged when he’s around you and he lets himself go, despite the indoctrination by Claudius that he should always keep people at a distance to avoid being viewed as weak.

Not long after the two of you met, he decides to take you out along with Kyle for a drink, to help you get more accustomed to Cradle and its people. When you realize how much Kyle loves to drink, you follow suite, the two of you very quickly getting tipsy. Edgar laughs at the two of you for a bit, happy to see a new side of you as you allow yourself to grow more comfortable with them. Eventually he leads the two of you outside of the pub and arranges for a carriage to take you all back to headquarters, trying his hardest to tame the both of you.

He absolutely loves it when you sing to him, especially after a particularly hard day of work. He relaxes at the sound of your voice, often drifting off. It touches him more than he would like to admit when he finds you’re still there when he wakes up.

You are a light in his life and he wants to give back in kind, often dedicating his days off entirely to you. He loves giving you gifts, or surprising you with a romantic dinner to show his appreciation to you, for being there and understanding him.

While he doesn’t have the creativity to participate in most of your hobbies, he loves to watch you do it. The amount of passion you show for your art, the way your eyes light up when you’re working, is a picture perfect moment that he could look at for hours.

Prompt 4: Meet cute:

You couldn’t stop fidgeting as you stood outside the Red Army Headquarters, waiting for Kyle to fetch someone to help you. After you told him about burglars breaking into your house he insisted he get one of the officers to help you, despite you doubts. It was hard not to worry as you considered the prospect of having to turn to Jonah for help, knowing how hard he could be to communicate with, capable officer or not.  

When Kyle finally emerged, it wasn’t Jonah walking next to him, but a man you didn’t recognize.  

“Sorry for the wait. He’s not easy to find.” The man stood a few heads higher than you but his softer features and aura helped to make him quite welcoming. You begun to relax at his presence, wondering if he was as smooth as he seemed.

“Edgar Bright, at your service.” He offered you a gloved hand, a soft smile playing on his lips. His grip was soft but secure. He was smooth.

“Kyle filled me on the details but I’ll need a statement from you as well.” You tensed up, the idea of an interrogation being especially daunting considering you didn’t know much more than they did.

“No need to worry, it’s simply protocol. You can trust we will find whoever did this without any turbulence.” There was something very reassuring about him. Something that makes you think everything will be all right.

“Thank you.”

 The two of you left Kyle behind, retreating to Edar’s room to discuss the details of the investigation. After he poured two cups of tea he took the seat opposite you, as if the two of you were about to chat about the weather.

“Could you give me the details of what happened? It would be very helpful to hear it straight from the source.” You took a sip before starting with your statement, hoping to calm your nerves.

“I don’t know much more than you do. I was out for work most of the day and when I came back the place was a mess and many valuables were missing.” he seemed to have switched to work mode, completely focused on you.

“What time did you leave for work that day? And when did you return” he scribbled down on a piece of paper, his hand practically moving on its own.

“I left around 8 and came back around 6, I think.” When he put the pen down his attitude returned to relaxed gentleman status.

“I will start with asking the people who might have been present at the scene. I’ll get back to you once I’ve made some progress.” The conversation was over but you found it hard to leave. It didn’t feel right letting one man do the investigation on his own, despite it being his job. It was your house that had been rambled after all.

“I want to help as well. I know my way around the area, I can get in touch with some people.” His eyes widened, seemingly taken aback for the first time that day. He quickly composed himself, smiling again. You noticed something different about it now. Something in his expression told you he was more interested than before.

“I wouldn’t say no to a lady.” You smiled for the first time after the incident.

“Let’s get going then.”

 Prompt 10: Admission Of Feelings.

You continued working on the investigation for the next few weeks, the two of you growing closer by the day.

“There don’t seem to be any witnesses, but it’s unlikely no one was present. The break in happened in the middle of the day.” He rested his head on his chin, not touching the parfait sitting in front of him.

“Maybe they were there but didn’t notice anything. It’s not hard for a professional to pick a lock discreetly.” They two of you sat in silence for some time, both lost in your own theories of what happened that day.

He must have realized your worries, turning on his comfort face.

“We’ll find them. Don’t worry.” Usually you found his words comforting, but you couldn’t keep the frustration from your voice when you looked up at him.

“Realistically speaking, it’s probably not going to happen. They made a clean escape and left nothing behind. You don’t need to baby me, I can put two and two together.” Despite the harshness of your tone, you found him smiling, after the initial surprise wore off.

“You never cease to amaze me.” He opened his mouth to say something, but the words never left him, his eyes turning to the window. He was up and out of the café before you could ask what he had seen.

“What the-“when you looked in the direction of the culprit, you shot up, following after him.  

A man stood outside your door, seemingly fighting with the door. When he noticed the two of you approaching him, he dropped his bags, taking off before you could reach him.

“Stop!” Edgar run after him, his speed taking you by surprise, making it hard to catch up.

The man took a sudden turn, heading towards the narrow alleys of Central Quarter, giving you an important disadvantage in the chase.

Your legs ached and your heart was threatening to burst out of your chest. When you thought you couldn’t keep going, you rounded a corner to find Edgar, sitting on top of the man, pinning him in place. If he was tired from the chase, it didn’t show.

“I suppose I don’t need to ask if it was you who broke in a few weeks ago?” his gaze was cold and his grip was tight on the man’s shoulders.

“I- I just- I-it wasn’t me!” Edgar ignored him, turning towards you. Something flickered in his eyes, but loud footsteps coming your way didn’t let him act on whatever it was.

“The Jack? Sir, what happened? We heard the commotion and came to investigate.” A handful of Red Army soldiers stood in front of you, their eyes switching between Edgar and the man under him.  

“Take this man back to headquarters. I will interrogate him later.” Edgar pulled the man up, pinning his hands behind his back.

“Yes sir!” when the men led the thief away there was silence. Edgar’ kept his head low, not looking you in the eye as he tried to calm his breathing, the adrenaline of the chase slowly fading away. You knew you should be happy the man had been caught, but something was wrong in the atmosphere. You weren’t sure if you should speak up, or let him ride whatever it was out. He didn’t give you time to think on it, finally walking toward you. His hands were shaking when he reached out to touch your shoulders, a mixture of frustration and worry in his eyes.

“You…. Why…” you weren’t sure what to say, so you put your arms around him instead, hoping it would offer him some comfort. You stayed like that for some time, until his hands stopped shaking.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” His words were muffled by the fabric of your shirt. When he lifted his head again, something inside him seemed to snap.

“You shouldn’t have followed me. What if something happened? You could have gotten hurt.” He looked away, his eyes shut tight. You wondered what image was going through his head to cause him so much pain. You cupped his face, forcing him to face you.

“Edgar, look at me.” And he did. The sight of you seemed to calm him down.

“Nothing’s going to happen to me. I’m right here.” It took some time for the words to register, but when they did his face moved closer to you. You encouraged him, pulling him closer, your lips connected in a brief kiss. When he pulled away he took a step back, as if scared he had hurt you.

“I-I’m sorry.” You moved closer, smiling up at him.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. Except maybe pulling away.” You laughed. When he realized you might feel the same way he took your hands in his.

“You’re an amazing woman.” He paused to gather his breath before meeting your gaze again.

“If the thought wouldn’t be appalling, could I see more of you, outside of work?” you couldn’t keep the laughter inside.

“Appalling? Edgar, do you think I would kiss someone I find appalling?” you pulled him back in, hoping to get your point across.

“I’ll never get enough of this.” His smile was brighter than you’d ever seen it.

“I’ll hold you to that. Because we’re just getting started.” The moon was bright above you as you laughed, your happiness overflowing.

#ikerev #ikerev edgar #ikerev matchups

[eveiswriting]

I have suffered with anxiety and depression since I was 11 years old and ever since then, I've noticed that some days are better than others in terms of how much I can cope. Some days I feel as though I can achieve anything. But a lot of the time (most of the time), I am busy doubting myself, worrying about other things and feeling generally drained from life itself. So I thought I'd give you some tips I use to help myself study despite suffering with anxiety and depression. I'd also like to add a little disclaimer that I am by no means saying this will cure your anxiety or depression nor make your life perfect. I know the seriousness of dealing with mental illness and my aim here is to share tips that I myself find useful.

1. Change up your routine

I notice I become really depressed when I repeat the same thing constantly and never change things up. By changing the method you study, you are challenging yourself in different ways but also making sure your brain is stimulated. So, one day you can try flashcards but another day you could watch a video and take notes or make a mindmap or make a PowerPoint and record yourself talking over it as if you are a teacher teaching that content to your class. There are numerous ways to change the way you learn.

2. Reward yourself

For some people, this may mean food or watching tv or even playing with your cat. Whatever makes you smile or feel better or slightly more relaxed, make sure to do it. You should not punish yourself for not doing 20 hours of work a day. Whether you have done 1 hour of work or 8 hours, you need time to breathe and relax away from the pressures of study.

3. Wear comfy clothes

If I visit a library or cafe, my anxiety is so high by being surrounded by people that I am already feeling out of my comfort zone. So, by wearing clothes you feel comfortable and confident in, you are more likely to adapt to the place you are in and be able to relax there. Also, studying is not much fun if you're feeling uncomfortable so choose wisely!

4. Listen to your favourite music

There is something strangely calming for me when I hear one of my favourite songs come on whilst I study or am in public, such as in a library trying to study. I get majorly anxious even if I go somewhere like a library or somewhere where other people study, so being able to listen to songs I love and that help calm me or just make me feel happy is a massive plus. If music with lyrics or music in general distracts you, I recommend either listening to white noise on youtube or asmr study live streams where they use rain sounds.

5. Adapt on down days

When you deal with mental illness, you will know there are some days when it is simply impossible to get your brain to work. You might look at your to-do list and feel a sense of dread knowing that you will never be able to get all of that done, especially if you are feeling particularly depressed or anxious on a certain day. I think the key thing that has helped me is to adapt and recognise that some days you feel like absolute crap and nothing is working. Instead of trying to force yourself to study for hours on end, try just doing something for 10 mins or 20 mins or perhaps at max 30 mins. You might think 10 mins is nothing but if you did that 3 times then you will have done 30 mins of work already. It doesn't matter how much you do, it's HOW you study. You could spend 10 hours being completely unproductive. Time does not always constitute productivity.

6. your study space

I am slightly a hypocrite with this once since I really need to make my study space and desk better for studying. With this point, I mean that you should add little decorations or things you know will make you happy around your study space. Some people might want to add fairy lights or postcards to the wall, whilst others may prefer to put a picture of their favourite singer or group. You can really be creative with this but also don't overcomplicate it since you need enough space on your desk or study area to actually be able to study and have your books out!

7. talk to others about your worries and feelings or write them down

The anxiety and the stress that school often gives us can be made worse when someone already struggles with anxiety and depression to begin with. I'm admittedly not one for talking about my feelings, I would probably say I have about 1 or 2 people close to me I could be honest with when I am feeling down, but that doesn't mean it is easy. If you are seriously struggling to the point you feel you can't take much more, please please talk to someone and do not bottle it up. Whether you call a helpline just so you can vent to someone, whether you talk to your best friend or an online friend or your brother, just please do it and don't let yourself fall into the habit of shutting everyone out. It is extremely hard to focus on studying if you are trying to fight against yourself and the negative emotions you are feeling every day on top of that.

links if you are in crisis:

a list of international suicide hotlines:

a crisis hotline (they work in the U.S., UK, Canada, South Africa, Ireland)

this is another website which gives the hotline numbers for the U.S, Canada, the UK & Republic of Ireland, Argentina, Spain, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, Germany, France, Italy, Serbia, Mexico, Japan, Brazil & India

more hotlines for crisis & suicide prevention which ontop of the above also include Austria, Belgium, Portugal, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, Israel, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Serbia, Singapore, South Korea, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan

These tips may be short and simple but for those struggling with mental illness, even these small changes can be hard at first. Please take your time and look after yourself. Your health should not suffer just so you can achieve an A* grade. Studying can even be fun, effective and interesting if done correctly. But if you overwork yourself or deny yourself a break, you're actually going to end up less productive.

So, my overall advice is: study smart and try to monitor how you are feeling and when things are getting too much. There may be times when you hit a very low point and maybe even question if you have the ability to carry on, but I promise you that you have that potential to achieve the things you want.

#studyblr #100 days of productivity #study tips #study motivation #study #studying #self care #studyspo #study space #mental health

[lilitunoirrr]

An Apotheosis: A Song That Describes Me

This song is about being overlooked. Giving your love to someone for them to not notice or not care, for whatever reason; but you just allow it because you hope- maybe, eventually- they will notice and start to love you back and appreciate you. Soon all you see is that they are wounded - they don't love you like you love them, the eyes of a fallen angel because they weren't what you thought they were. The eyes of a tragedy, because that fact hurts and now all you see is the tragedy that is them, this relationship. And the cycle repeats until you break it.

At one point this was me. Always attracting men who didn't really love me or care about me. Not deeply anyway, and definately without the consistency and depth needed to keep stoking and building on that kind of bond. Well see...that's were I realised I was the faithful, devoted type. When I fall in love, I fall in love deeply and that is the one person to me that I want to form the deepest bond with, just us two, exclusively. I was never the polyamorous type, I am to monogamous for that, to loyal for that, emotionally as well as sexually. Not that they weren't. But in hindsight I realise now, we loved differently. They wanted superficial, I wanted real. They wanted all the girls, I wanted my one and only king that saw me as his one and only queen. I didn't want to have to fight for crumbs of love, against other women who they claimed were nothing to them, but would drop everything for them, flirt with them, like they were their girlfriends, not me; while I became degraded and treated like an annoyance for just wanting to love them. Spend TIME with them. Build with them. Be included.

Because im always there? Because I loved you enough to want to make you a part of my life, a priority of my life, entwine my life with yours?

So I learned that when love and mutual respect isn't being served anymore, you gotta leave the table. You have to realise they don't really love you and you're worth more than this, you deserve better. You deserve consistency and emotional reciprocity. You deserve to feel loved and actually be loved too.

It took me a lot of heartbreak and learning to love myself to see that allowing myself to be their doormat, their plaything, like I wasn't a human being with feelings, or with wants and needs, or the right to be loved truely and properly as well; to finally learn that they were not going to change, they weren't going to wake up one day and finally see their wrongs and start appreciating and loving me truefully back. I had to save myself, love myself. Be in my own corner and have my own back. See my own worth.

I allowed myself to fall, I became depressed, in ways that was my fault because really it was my karma for not walking away sooner. Not karma to punish me, but karma to show me the truth. Eventually it gets so uncomfortable you have no choice but to stop ignoring it and see; and once you see, you can't unsee.

A quote that describes the way I love:

My loyalty runs so deep that I will fight for something until I feel like there is absolutely nothing left. No matter how bad it is, I will fight for the good times that could return. So once I stop argueing and checking on you, that's when you know you officially lost me for good.

While this song is also referring to 3 Libras that the lead singer, Maynard James Keenan, had dated at some point and felt overlooked by, I always felt as a Libra sun, I could actually always relate to being the one that was overlooked rather than the one that was overlooking. Astrologically this may be affected a lot by my having a natal Scorpio Venus though.

But from the point of view of being a Libra sun, the '3 Libras' always spoke of the trinity that becomes a Libra when they are in love and/or in a relationship, to me. The trinity being the seductress, the best friend and the partner.

The Seductress: You try to be their wildest dreams, fit all their fantasies, entice them, be the one they crave and go looking for, the one they lose control for, with, everytime. You try to become their weakness, like they are for you.

The Best Friend: You try to be the girl they confide in, share their stresses and secrets and vunerabilities too, who's opinion they value, who's advice they ask for and value. You try to care for them in a way that allows them to feel cherished beyond romantic love, you hope they see more value in you than just your sexual or romantic potential, you hope the care goes deeper. You hope they actually like being with you, spending time with you, including, having fun with you.

The Partner: You try to be their ride or die. You put them above all other men, you don't treat any other man the way that you treat him, you treat him better, above all of them because he is your one and only just like you are his; he becomes a priority just like you are to him, and you love only him exclusively, like he does, just you. you try to be their peace, their rock, their safe place. The one that they say they belong to, not in a objective or oppressive way, in a way that confidently exclaims to whoever needs to know, weather they asked or not, to males and females, pointing right at you proudly: "that's my girl right over there". And if your not there? Still drops he has a woman back at home waiting for him proudly and happily. You try to be dedicated, devoted and faithful to them.

Libra is the sign of marraige and love in the zodiac for a reason. We sometimes dedicate ourselves to the point that we fail to see when we are being overlooked sometimes, and even when we do, we tend to allow a lot of mistreatmeant for longer than we really should.

We take on that pain, wonder why we are overlooked. Why aren't we good enough? Am I not beautiful enough? Do I not excite him? Do I not make him feel heard and valued? Appreciated? Wanted? Loved? Does he not feel how he is the only one I want to love? Build with? Doesn't he want just me the same way I want just him?

So we stay, allow a lot more than we should in the hope that maybe they will realise, have an epiphany, and finally see you, and forget all the girls they talk to for superficiality rather than anything genuine or real, or deep. Or everlasting. Like what they say they have with you, but their actions show otherwise and their lack of consistency shows you otherwise.

This song resonates with me because I used to be that girl that was overlooked, even allowing disrespect and mistreatmeant in my naievity, because I hoped, thought, they would change and finally see me.

But what I really learned is that allowing this showed how bad my relationship was with myself, the fact that I didn't see myself high enough to walk away and go towards someone who really did love me. The fact that I didn't love myself enough, to tell myself I deserved better and to go be happy, even if it was on my own for a bit.

I learned that no matter how much you love someone you should never allow them to mistreat you and you don't have to be out of love with someone to leave when love is no longer being served to you.

I learned I don't mind if I have to go it alone, if there is no love. Not that I would like it or want that, but I realised I'm worth more to me than settling for crap and that I refuse to settle for anything less than the love I deserve.

And the love I deserve is equal, deep, genuine, passionate, engaged, consistent, reciprocal, looks you right in the eyes - and really sees you, feels you, listens and values what you have to say, validating, present, fun, sexy, loses control in each other, exclusive, and most of all, is from the heart and soul.

And the beauty is, I'm finally at a point in my life where I will no longer accept or tolerate anything less 💗

#Spotify #apotheosis #music #musicislife #libra sun #libra #3 libras #a perfect circle #musings #witchy thoughts #thoughts #self love #lessonlearned #astrology #love #love lessons #life lessons #writing #writer #writing description #my own writing #my own words #essays in love

[zerolover66]

I present a challenge. Which I'm going to pose to one of the other side as well. Because I want to see more fans support their ships solely on their merits, the best way. Sell your ship to someone who knows the manga but isn't invested. A casual fan. Only rule, you can't compare your ship to any other ship or mention the another ship at all. This includes using characters to compare. The idea here is to promote your ship focusing only on YOUR LOVE for it. I'm curious how fans will go about this.

Where to begin?! When I entered the Vampire Knight journey I had no idea what this story and these two characters, Zero and Yuuki, would come to mean to me. They remind me so much of another real journey that was incredible to me. They are the very epitome of that beautiful wondrous time in my life. 

If you want to experience a love that is built from the ground up with the most solid foundation then I recommend that you read or reread Vampire Knight and look closely for all the radiant signs!!!

I ship Zero and Yuuki (Zeki) for a great many reasons. I would have to type a book to really clarify all of their strengths and merits together.

Let me start by saying, it’s the overall feeling I get when reading Zeki scenes. 

This is a love that is built on friendship, respect and equality. Have you ever heard the saying I’m in love with my best friend? Well that is zeki!!! Shouldn’t you be in love with your best friend?! Aren’t you going to share the entire rest of your life with this person? Don’t you want to know that there is no other who will stand by you and understand you like this person does? That is what love based on friendship as one of the key components means. There is no one who understood them better than they understood each other. No one who supported them better than they supported each other. That is the great thing about a true love with it’s foundation based on friendship!!

 Right from the beginning you can clearly see that they support one another. Yuuki fights for Zero when he is at his lowest point, making him strive to let the light back in and then Zero returns this love by standing beside Yuuki through her depression and guilt in the second half of VK and into VKM. Yuuki puts all her faith in Zero that he can overcome what he is going through, that it wasn’t this condition that defined him, rather the kind soul within him, even when Zero himself felt like he was turning into a monster.

And Zero never once made Yuuki feel like she had to second guess herself, he always knew when to stand behind her and let her shine. It was always a love built on balance, whether one was helping the other or they both were on even ground. In multiple instances they were each other’s pillar of strength when the other one felt weak or lost.

At different points in the manga they both wanted the other one to find happiness, even if it meant sacrificing their own wants. For them, just seeing the other one smile was enough. And they didn’t just wish for it they did what they could for each other so that their other half would actually be able to achieve the ability to smile from the bottom of their heart. This is truly a sign of a healthy relationship, always being selfless because you genuinely care for the other person. Love is never selfish. It is kind and selfless. Both Yuuki and Zero were this even in the times when they may have seemed a bit selfish. They still longed to find a way to help the other one smile from their heart and find true happiness. The journey has been long but I know zeki got there!!!! I know it like I know that I need air to breathe.

No matter what society or friends or predisposed notions dictated they still managed to always come back to each as if they knew subconsciously where they would find sanctuary from the darkness that surrounded them.

Everything about Zeki came naturally, right down to their ability to open up and discuss their fears and problems without feeling awkward or feeling like they might be judged. It wasn’t a love that was forced or expected, it was one that blossomed slowly and took them by surprise.

Isn’t that what love should be? A slow beautiful journey together, one filled with ups and downs and an unforeseen pit stop here and there. A love where communication is spoken with ease and straightforwardness, never fear of being condemned. It’s one that wraps you up in warmth and continues to radiate light despite any chaotic storms that may come along. Love isn’t a fairytale where the prince comes to save the princess. Real love is fighting beside one another, knowing whatever the hell happens you feel confident, at peace and safe because you draw your resilience from one another. Real love is a love that becomes more solidified with every hardship, not one that cracks and breaks under pressure. This is what Zeki is to me. 

Never have I ever or do I think I ever will find an otp that means more to me than this couple. Their journey and progression, even when they take a step backwards in order for them to learn to move forward, has mesmerized me like no other. I feel truly blessed to have been able to be a part of their journey. Good and bad, right and wrong, happy and sad, ugly and beautiful, sickness and health, weak and strong. They are everything that a great love is supposed to be. Love is multi-layered. It is never perfect but it makes you perfectly happy to share the journey through life with your partner. If you get to experience this kind of love in your lifetime consider yourself very very lucky. If you are still waiting for that kind of love come along for zeki’s journey. They won’t disappoint you.

They and their love for one another is simply RADIANT!!!

 Like I said I would need to truly write a book to really tell you what this couple represents to me. I love them beyond words!!! They are truly my otp of otps!!!

Thanks for dropping by anon :)

#anon ask #vampire knight #vampire knight memories #radiant zeki #how can I begin to tell you what they mean to me #EVERYTHING

[comfort--cafe]

I'm always lending my shoulder to people and letting them know that I'm there for them but when it comes to me, I just close up. It's like I'm scared to show people the really sad part of me because I come off as a "happy" or "put together" person... I'm not.... Im far from it and it's like I can't express that. When I try to, people take me as a joke and it hurts. I can't just keep bottling up my feelings. It gets hard and I don't think I can do it any longer... I just can't.

Salutations!

Let your feelings overflow, let yourself snap,let yourself cry and scream. Sometimes it’s what we emotionally need. Emotional expression is what tells others that we are in pain and we need help from them.

Bottling up your feelings won’t help anyone;your friends won’t know what’s happening to you and you will be feelingterrible and over-whelmed by these negative feelings. If your friends or familydon’t know what your struggling with, how can you expect them to help you whenyou need it.

I admit, it’s nice to appear as the “personwho’s got their shit together” type, it’s an amazing feeling knowing thatothers see you as someone who is positive and can over come any situation. Butthe matter of the fact is that we’re humans. Each of us have their own experiences,battles, values, and attitudes, we face alone. People need to understand, thatwhile we want someone we can look up to as guidance in our lives, we are all livingour separate journeys. That’s why it’s so important that we actively communicatewith each other and tell each other what is going on within our own world.

We are humans, we aren’t perfect. That’s themost important part of being human. You will never be perfect, but acceptingthe idea that your imperfect help makes you develop as a person.

What else helps is understanding why you’rescared of showing people the sad/negative/depressed/angry part of yourself, whatis it that makes you reject the idea of expressing emotions. Is it because youfear rejection, isolation, disappointment, vulnerability, ect..

Once you understand what exactly you are afraidof, you reason and work with that emotion.

I’m scared that they will reject me forexpressing this

I true friend wouldn’t reject me and help methrough this, like how I didn’t reject them

Understanding and conscious realisation givesyou power of managing emotions and understanding how they affect you. Onceagain, helping you overcome any fear you have within yourself.  

Start off small, express to a close friendthat you’re having a rough or bad day. Talk to people who respect you and arewilling to help and support you. Even if it’s small “Hey, my lunch today sucked” , that’s slowly helping you to expressing your feeling to others.

With the friend you trust, slowly open up moreand more. Take each step in your own time, feeling confident that you canexpress this emotion and that what ever you fear is something your friend willunderstand and accept.

Take it slow, within your own time, andexpress to someone who you can trust and is a true friend.

 Thank you forordering at the comfort-café!

Come visit us againanytime!

Mod Chef