knight/lord ships are like. what if i would die for you. what if i wanted you to live for me. what if i wanted to touch you but could only be satisfied with being near you. what if i could touch you but only through the safety of our gloves. what if i couldn’t stop thinking about you right next to me. what if i bloodied my hands for you and never looked back at the wreckage. what then
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when can i say your name and have it mean only your name and not what you left behind?
c. t. salazar / nosugarallspicenothingnice on pinterest / sierra demulder / naomi shibab nye
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I am praying so hard, I am shouting to the gods above that essek is in the next m9 one shot because I need to see him worried over caleb. I need to see him terrified and willing to do anything to get caleb back and I need them to kiss and hug after caleb returns back to him— after his caleb returns back to his embrace
You’re telling me Mr. Essek “Used his reroll to get Caleb out of debris” Thelyss isn’t worried sick and nauseous right now?
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theres nothing better to me than devotion. like yes u may hurt me and we may argue but i love u anyways. sometimes i hate u but i wouldn’t trade u for the world. ur so lovely and when u are hurting so am i. I trust u with my life. I love u
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24th April 2024
I have been worried lately about my relationship with God. I so desperately desire something to submit to. To offer up my entire being, to beg to be washed clean of my desires so I can better serve them; tell me what you want me to be and I'll be it, forgive me for expecting anything of you, you know better than me, I'm ungrateful and even more so, I am undeserving. I am utterly and entirely undeserving, let me prove myself to you, let me prove myself to you, let me prove myself to you. Your love will make me worthy and we'll forgo all of me that has defied you or existed before you. Is this not how I speak to God now too? Forgive me, make me worthy in your light. Let me devote myself to you. I can't for a second let myself escape the need to perform, to atone, to apologise. Some part of me deep down believes some are just born to serve and that I am one of them. How sad, how pathetic. A life of shrinking myself, cutting off limbs and hair, and my words, to fit into one person's mould and sewing my pieces back together to fit in another's. God is another man for me to beg.
Yet still, with the blindest of faiths, I believe he'll save me. I believe he'll pull me out of this hole again. It's different, of course, than expecting my lovers to - this is God after all.
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