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alastairstom · 1 year

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Matthew, Alastair, and the Self vs the Other

I cannot for the life of me understand how people justify hating either Matthew or Alastair on behalf of the other. Like. Both of these characters are so beloved to me. They're easily two of my favourite fictional characters, and I'm not just talking about in TSC. I adore them, and I adore their complexities. As such, I feel that I am the appropriate person to write this essay.

(You can also expect another essay in the coming week that juxtaposes Matthew and Alastair's storylines as literary foils. The aim of this essay is not to understand their written characters, but to understand their dynamic as human beings).

Listen.

Shadowhunter Academy

At the Academy, Alastair behaved in a pretty homophobic way to Matthew, who was visibly not straight (and proud of it). It's worth noting that Alastair began the conflict here, with these statements. The stuff about Wilde being indecent was their first encounter, and he 100% perpetuated it again later with "what a fine wife you'll make for someone one of these days." The impact of this hurts Matthew regardless of the fact that Alastair was also gay. Matthew didn't know this at the time, and even if he had, it would have been unfair for Alastair to turn his own internalized homophobia on Matthew.

However, Alastair's statements are also understandable. Being gay in the late 1800s wasn't a walk in the park, and Alastair was likely having it consistently reinforced as shameful by Charles at this point. He was 15. He also was very clearly following the Wilde trials, which would have been terrifying for him.

Matthew is also a defensive person, and James was being consistently bullied by Alastair. I understand him coming to the defense of his friend. I get that. But he did, in the end, come at Alastair WAY too hard when he said that his father didn't love him. It's worth noting that Matthew didn't know the situation between Alastair and Elias, and he just groped around for fodder and accidentally hit something that hurt. But, like the Wilde stuff, that doesn't matter. The impact on Alastair was real and painful.

Onto the rumor stuff, the things that Alastair said about Gideon and Charlotte were inexcusable. Place this in a historical context. Charlotte is a woman, and one who's constantly questioned in her position of power. This rumor could have legitimately ruined her and the entire Fairchild family. I do not believe Alastair thought this through, but once again, the impact was there. This is a theme throughout their relationship.

Alastair, who is obviously extremely traumatized, was completely in the wrong for saying those things. 0 argument.

Matthew, who is obviously very mentally ill, was VERY MUCH in the wrong to blow up Alastair's things. 0 argument.

There's also an argument to be made that Alastair had no choice but to be a bully. I believe this. I fully understand him. He DID have no choice, and he deserves sympathy and compassion and forgiveness. I believe this unequivocally. No child- no human- deserves to be subject to the abuse that Alastair was at home and at school, and no 13-15 year old would have made a different choice.

But, at the same time, Alastair did not have to hit Matthew where it hurt like that. He could have stuck to the way he bullied Thomas, with periodic cutting barbs. That's also true.

Matthew's Great Sin

Fast forward a couple of years.

The only person to blame for Charlotte's miscarriage is Mother Hawthorne, an adult who used Matthew as a tool for attempted assassination. Full stop. The ONLY person. That's my preface.

Alastair is in no way to blame for Charlotte's miscarriage. Like, at all. I'm not even sure that he, to this day, knows what happened. This is indisputable. Alastair is, I would argue, unrelated to the reality of the situation.

Everyone reasonable can see this. Matthew himself is reasonable. Matthew himself knows this and has thought as much:

It was not the faerie woman’s fault, or Alastair’s, or the fault of any other soul. He was the one who had chosen to distrust his mother. He had fed his mother poison with his own hands. He was not a fool. He was a villain.

Of course, I disagree with Matthew's thoughts on Mother Hawthorne. I also disagree with his thoughts on his own culpability, but I'm getting there. My current point is that Matthew knows, immediately, that Alastair is not to blame.

However, the person that he chooses to blame is himself.

Matthew, prior to this event, already had incredibly low self-worth. Two clear examples:

“You may be a waste of space in a waistcoat,” he told Matthew Fairchild, “but at least your waistcoat is fantastic.”

He was sure that if he had not asked James to be parabatai, James would never have thought of asking him.

As a result of this unbearable pain, Alastair becomes something of a scapegoat for Matthew. He hates himself and treats himself poorly; he shoves off some of that self-hate onto Alastair, his literary foil (again, wait for that essay). The alternative is unbearable. In Matthew's eyes, he is a villain, and he needs to make a new villain.

Matthew already has understandable problems with Alastair. Alastair is the one that triggered Matthew's insecurities. Despite having nothing to do with the miscarriage, he makes for a fine scapegoat.

And, over time, Alastair is no longer Alastair to Matthew. Alastair is simply a concept that he has created, flanderized, and made into some untouchable and inhuman evil spectre.

Alastair's Return to London

By the time that Alastair returns to London, Matthew's hate for both himself and for Alastair are solidified. Carved in stone. Matthew is not equipped to face Alastair.

Alastair does not fully understand why Matthew hates him. This is incredibly understandable. There's no other way this could have gone, because Alastair is a person, and he is a person that knows nothing of the conceptual caricature that Matthew has cast him as.

So he apologizes, and he apologizes, and he apologizes. He does everything right, and I would argue that Alastair's in the clear for his past actions by the end of ChoG. (Not to the Thieves, but to a reasonable reader/outsider).

Alastair is, at this point, just some man that the main cast has beef with. He's a good guy. He's done his due diligence and apologized. They should, in both Alastair's mind and many readers', be good now.

Unfortunately, Matthew is not a reasonable reader or outsider. Matthew is a real person who was directly impacted by Alastair's actions at the Academy, which almost certainly led to some of his self-worth problems. He also incorrectly has essentially gaslit himself into thinking that his mother's poisoning is another way that Alastair has victimized him.

At this point, I will say that I personally believe Matthew to be bipolar. If he is not bipolar, he may have borderline personality disorder. This is unconfirmed, but there is a lot of evidence in the text. I could write an essay on this as well as someone who also is bipolar. What he does with Alastair- and later with Cordelia- is something called splitting. A person is either an evil and worthless villain or they are a goddess incarnate (respectively). There is no gray area.

In any case,

To Matthew, Alastair's constant apologies and lack of awareness about the impact he had appear dismissive.

Thomas frowned. “Matthew,” he said, his usually gentle voice remonstrative, “that was the past. It is time for us to be adults and forget childish slights.” “Thomas, you are kind,” said Matthew. “Too kind, and you wish to forget. But I am not kind, and I cannot help but remember.”

Thomas is too forgiving; Alastair has not, in Matthew's mind, sufficiently apologized for the imagined but simultaneously legitimate transgression. He must do so. Alastair must hurt as Matthew has, and he does not consider that he is engaging with an actual human being who only has one friend that he is about to destroy his relationship with.

Note that this is once again consistent with Matthew's characterization as protective of his friends. In his mind, he is saving Thomas from the abusive concept of Alastair. His being incorrect and that image not being an accurate representation of the man himself do not matter to Matthew's motivations.

At this point, though, Alastair is also unfortunately extremely triggered by Matthew's drinking. This is clear in ChoG when Alastair says,

Alastair’s expression went flat. “You think I would be relieved to hear she’s with Matthew? You think I don’t know a drunk when I see one? Believe me, I do. If he puts Cordelia in harm’s way—”

Not great, especially considering that Alastair has spent his entire life trying to protect Cordelia from a drunk:

Because he’s always bloody drunk, Cordelia. The only one of us who didn’t know that is you. [...] I wanted you to have a childhood, a thing I never had. I wanted you to be able to love and respect your father as I never could. [...] Who learned at ten years old to refill the brandy bottles with water each morning so no one would notice the levels had sunk?"

Alastair is correct. This is more than understandable. Matthew is, in that moment, taking Cordelia to a scandalous nightclub; he will, in a few months' time, impulsively run away with Cordelia to another country.

This conflict persists in much the same way throughout Chain of Iron, with Alastair getting more and more irritated that his apologies are going unheard and Matthew getting pissier and pissier that Alastair cannot conceptualize Matthew's rage.

I'll talk more about this in my Literary Foils essay, but:

It is only through self-acceptance that Matthew learns to forgive Alastair and, once again, view him as Alastair the Man rather than Alastair the Concept.

It is only through self-acceptance that Alastair is able to see Matthew as Matthew the Man rather than Matthew the Drunk that reminds him of Elias.

In the end, their budding friendship is only possible because they have done the work to better themselves.

#matthew fairchild #alastair carstairs #tsc deep dives #chot #chain of thorns #chog #chain of gold #choi #chain of iron #tlh #the last hours #my meta

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aikoiya · 2 years

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I see a lot of people saying that Danny is trans or gay or some other member of the alphabet mafia & that they're reasoning involves him being half-ghost.

But, I can't help but feel like that's a very poor reason.

For one, you choose to transition. It can't be an accident unless you're coerced, but even then, a choice was made to change your body.

Like, of course you don't choose to be trans, but you do choose to go through with the actual transition itself.

Danny did not get to choose to become a half-ghost. It was an accident where he fucking died! Then he was ripped back to life!

Like, don't get me wrong. I do see the parallels of hiding a major part of yourself from your parents, but it's still not a very good comparison.

In fact, when he first did get the chance to choose, he chose to go back to being what he was before. Then, for everyone else's sake, he chose to help anyway which resulted in him becoming Phantom again, but even then, he still didn't choose to become Phantom, it just sort of happened.

The closest thing I can compare that to is a doctor botching something at the hospital like spilling acid over Danny's genitals at a young age, then he transitions the kid against his will. Danny's miserable & tries to hide this fact for 2 years because, suddenly, he's lost something of himself; before deciding for himself to detransition, then deciding to help the doctor who essentially ruined his life anyway, only to be forced back into transing again, but this time, he's just gonna give up & live with it.

That's like saying, "Transition even if you don't want to & if you detrans, we'll force you to transition again until you give up & just decide to live with the consequences!" 8D

Do you really want that to be the message of your movement?!

Like, sure, Jenny from My Life As A Teenage Robot makes sense to be trans, especially by today's standards. Why? Because she WANTS TO BE HUMAN DESPITE BEING A ROBOT BY NATURE!!

Though, I don't think anyone can rightly say she's transfem because all her mother's other XJs appeared to be female too, so why just suddenly change that?

But she actually is canonically transpecies. Literally, she's transhuman. Canonically!

Not to mention, the creator of MLaaTR went out & said that they were flattered by the comparison, making it more than okay to headcanon it!

Like, it was okay before anyway because headcanon doesn't need to follow canon. But, now it's okay to regard it as canon too!

And that's the difference! Hartman denied it, making it noncanon!

As for being gay canonically? Not once have I ever seen him be interested in a guy! He's been plenty interested in girls, but no guys in that way.

Like, I could maybe flex enough to see him as bi, but I cannot see him as gay because it doesn't make sense as far as his character goes. He likes girls. Full stop! That is canon & you can see that in the way he interacts with them!

You can say he's gay in your headcanon & I may not agree with you, but that wouldn't matter because it's your headcanon & you can do whatever you want in your headcanon! You could make him a 6 foot blue alien with purple spots if you wanted!

So, as you can see. There is a difference!

Like, it's just fine to hc these things. It isn't okay to present them as canon when they aren't though!

You can make your own opinions, but you can't make your own facts.

Truth is truth. Reality is reality. Fiction is fiction. And Danny is not trans canonically.

Like, you can't just say that the sky of Galifrey is canonically green because it's not. The skies of Galifrey are red! Canonically!

You can write a fanfiction where Galifrey's skies are green, but don't say that they're green in the show & try to pass it off as fact because they're not!

That's called lying!

As for you jerks getting onto me about Word of God. I'm an aspie! I find comfort in rules & structure & the rules are that the creator defines canon, fans define fanon, & the individual defines headcanon! By picking on me for that, you're being ableist bigots!

#dp #danny phantom #my life as a teenage robot #jenny xj9 #trans danny phantom #misrepresentation

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

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(anon who mentioned shotacon and RPF)

I suppose I'm not too bothered by RPF as a concept. But the culture that surrounds it is awful (huge overlap with celebrity culture).

Sure, there's a lot of really generic "insert hot character here" stuff out there but there are also works with creepy levels of detail and research that receive praise rather than scorn. And, of course, complied research posts to back everything up.

Then there's Real Person Shippers who will try to "prove" that their ship is "canon" (to real life??). This is especially awful when it comes to gay Real Person Ships because this is how people get outed without their consent. It can and has also ruined friendships.

So, it would be fair to say that my issue with RPF/RPS fandoms is that creepiness is rewarded, rather than punished or criticised. That bothers me and it should bother other people too.

Also this might just be a Modern Internet thing but people have become way too comfortable showing their RPF, RPS works and NSFW fanart to performers. Why are they tagging performers on Twitter to show them this stuff? 99% of performers won't enjoy the experience, and even then they have a limit! And they can't tell you to stop because no one would listen anyway and it would make them look unapproachable (to the fans that look for parasocial relationships, or just don't want to hear a performer say "no") .

As long as people (A) respect the boundaries of performers (B) take issue with people who don't respect those boundaries in their fandoms and (C) keep their works in fandom spaces like Tumblr/AO3/deviantart and away from public spaces like Twitter/Instagram/Facebook, I don't mind. But people seem to have no sense of boundaries or consideration for their fellow man these days, so I'd feel safer with the knowledge that they're only acting like this towards or about fictional people who don't exist.

LOL. No.

You only think RPF has a huge overlap with celebrity culture because you only see RPF when people with no boundaries are sticking it in celebrity culture spaces. Better RPF shippers are off on some fic site, keeping to themselves.

There's no inherent connection between liking to read fake-ass AUs where celebs are elves running a coffee shop and caring what's in the tabloids. Even the detail-heavy fics are usually just things a passionate fan would know from public appearances. Some people have a good mind for details.

I agree that the worst of the Larry shippers were horrendous, but that isn't what most RPF fandom looks like.

Frankly, shoving nsfw of a character with their face under an actor's nose is common today too. I think plenty of actors wouldn't take it any differently than RPF subjects do. The worst of FPF shippers conflate actors with their roles or harass canon's creators about making things canon.

RPF vs. FPF is not the difference. Gross celebrity culture with no boundaries on twitter often is though.

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sarahsshelf · 1 year

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Monthly reading update for February

I meant for this to be another bimonthly one, but I forgot to update it a couple weeks ago, and by the time I remembered it was almost the end of the month anyway. At the time, I was thinking "it's a short month, I've not been reading much, it'll be fine" but it turns out I actually did read a lot. So it's gonna be a long one today:

Arkady Martine - A Memory Called Empire

Spent most of this time thinking that it was just a political intrigue type book disguised as science fiction (not necessarily a bad thing, I love scheming!). The sci-fi elements are a bit more important than that, upon reflection (e.g. the imago machines play a pretty significant role), but the scheming is the real reason to read it. If you like the early chapters of Dune better than the revolution part, you probably don't need me to tell you that you need to read this. I'm definitely going to be getting the sequel next time I'm at a bookstore.

Amelia Earhart - 20 Hrs., 40 Min.

Earhart's been a longtime hero of mine, albeit one I don't think about much these days. I found this one in a box of old books I pulled out of the basement to sell to the used bookstore, and that childhood love led me to hold onto it. Sadly there's not really much of interest in there; the autobiographical part doesn't cover any ground I'd not heard before, and the supposed central event of the book (crossing the Atlantic) is handled over the course of about 5-10 pages. If you want to hear about weather keeping her trapped in Newfoundland for weeks, then maybe give it a shot? But I'd not recommend it.

Cecilia Gentili - Faltas

This one was absolutely incredible; really loved Gentili's narrative voice. It's about growing up trans, growing up abused, growing up poor, but despite all that it feels almost triumphant. Probably that's because it's written in the form of letters to people who didn't leave the town, whereas she got out and made something of herself. Not really able to talk about what I loved about it, but I'll definitely be recommending it.

Forman Brown - Better Angel

It's gay fiction (thinly veiled autobiography) from the 1930s, what more need I say? He reads too much, gets a superiority complex about his intelligence, and ends up unfit for heterosexual society. Basically, he's just like me. He seems to have a very dim view of 20th century gay society though; perhaps the result of discovering homosexuality through reading ancient Greek literature? But what would you really expect from a socially respectable gay guy from 90 years ago?

Junichiro Tanizaki - Quicksand

Immediately after reading The Makioka Sisters for the first time, I was ready to proclaim Tanizaki as one of my favorite authors ever. Every book I've read of his since then has slowly been changing my mind on that. Superficially, The Makioka Sisters seems like it sticks out in his discography (it's almost like Jane Austen, whereas his other work seems to be different ways sex can ruin your life), but it doesn't really? It's all just different ways of saying that he thinks modernity is killing Japan; in this one, Tanizaki's modernity of choice is bisexuality. It's kinda fun reading about the evil lesbian for a bit, but it all just comes to a sudden stop, as if he got bored with it and just threw one last chapter in to provide an ending.

Min Jin Lee - Pachinko

I am such a sucker for these multigenerational family sagas. One Hundred Years of Solitude, Homegoing, Pachinko: I'll read them all, just keep them coming. I'd not known anything before about the Korean community in Japan, and now I do (or at least I think I do), so that's pretty cool as well. Noa is, sadly, another "he is so me" type character; always reading, a bit snobby, dead-set on being One Of The Good Ones.

Qiu Miaojin - Last Words from Montmartre

I'd read Notes of a Crocodile a while back and never really knew what to make of it. There was a bit of a narrative there, but not really? And you never got a sense of anyone. Anyway, Last Words from Montmartre is like that too, but a bit more understandable as the narrator is trapped in a spiral of isolation that it's too late to get out of. Knowing Miaojin's fate, it's hard not to think that the distance between author and narrator was extremely thin, if not non-existent. I started feeling really bad about my own life while reading this, and I think that it was probably a contributing factor, because I started to feel better as soon as I finished reading.

Luke Dani Blue - Pretend It's My Body

It's a trans short story collection, but none of the stories really do much for me. Maybe the one about the "con" who's planning to upload her consciousness to the Internet? Maybe it's just a small sample size, but nearly all of the trans short fiction I've read hasn't really done anything for me in the past (Casey Plett's work being the main exception). I'm not sure why that would be the case though, because basically every trans novel ends up impressing me? I guess it's possible I don't like short fiction as much as I think I do. If y'all have any other trans short story recommendations, I would love to hear them though!

#arkady martine #amelia earhart #cecilia gentili #forman brown #junichiro tanizaki #min jin lee #qiu miaojin #luke dani blue

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rileydaisy · 9 months

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The Shipping Problem Part 2

So as you all know I made a post about the whole shipping issues in the past and I'm back to address more about it.

Anyways let's get right into it.

Since no other person is gonna talk about the issues then I'll do it myself.

Well all love cartoon characters from many different franchises and video games.

And when watching a movie or playing a video game with your favorite characters in it, people will always take a liking to a certain character and there's nothing wrong with that.

But there will always be people out there who will automatically start shipping, And I'm not talking about Male and Female shipping no, I'm talking about Male and Male Shipping and Female and Female shipping.

It's very very wrong to ship two male characters together and two female characters together whether they are fictional or not.

Especially if said characters don't get along in a film or a video game.

If the characters don't get along in a movie, a series, or a video game then why ship them together?

It's a disgrace to the creators who made the characters and to the characters themselves because it doesn't make any sense and there's no plot to it.

There's been too much nasty out of place shipping with Disney characters and DreamWorks characters.

Like for instance: Puss x Death, Gremlin Prescott x Marcus, Gremlin Prescott x Jamface, Turbo x Vanellope, Cuphead x Mugman, there's sooo much more ungodly shipping than there is normal shipping.

This is not okay and it never ever will be, no matter how much people who do stuff like that try to make it out to be.

They did the same thing with My Little Pony, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, Zootopia and many many more kid shows.

It sickens me that there are people out there who think having the characters do disgusting ungodly and abnormal things like that is okay and what's worse is if a child accidentally stumbles upon stuff like that and then they'll think it's okay for them to do so too.

It's sickening and downright disgusting and so abnormal and ungodly.

It's bad enough that people out there don't want kids to be kids anymore and want them to be subjected to all evil and they'll use fun childhood characters to mess up the minds of innocent children by making the characters something they aren't for real.

Just because there are people out there who do stuff like that for real doesn't mean it's okay to make the characters do the same thing.

The world of imagination is a beautiful Heavenly place when it comes to these characters living a beautiful happy magical life every day.

But I feel bad for any kids out there who have already been subjected to evil like that.

The fictional characters don't deserve that, They brought us happiness and that's how we repay them?

As a person who grew up loving all the characters of my childhood, That is very very Very Disrespectful, Ungrateful, and Disgusting.

Gay shipping, Lesbian shipping, Incestuous shipping is Disgusting and very very Very sinful.

Especially for fictional characters.

It's okay to make your own ships but not in a sinful way.

Only Male and Female characters can be shipped together.

But only if said characters don't hate each other for real.

As a Christian I care because I have a heart.

God gave us these characters for good, they aren't meant to be used for evil.

Don't take other people's characters and make them homosexual.

That's very nasty!

And making them trans, queer, pansexual and giving them disabilities isn't something these fictional characters should ever have.

Stop ruining childhood characters.

Yes there are other serious things going on in this world that are very important but this is also very important.

Stop running childhood characters.

#the abnormal shipping issue

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con-ked · 1 year

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I think many of us here on our Glorious Trashsite spend more time than we'd like to admit scrolling through endless fanart of our favourite fictional gays and disaster scrimbos, deavouring any and all shameless headcanons, checking out cool writing prompts we'll never actually write something for and devouring fic after appalling fic we'd probably rather eat an entire live goat than admit we've read to our friends, parents and teachers.

And I think we've all had those moments where we've suddenly paused and been hit with the acute realization of what we're actually doing and the immediate shame slamming home like a collapsing skyscraper.

And then the the 'What am I DOING with my life??? My precious time?? Heartbeats???' slowly descending into a mental spiral of existential dread and awareness of our own mortality before we get up, Very Tired, make ourselves a coffee, and go do something more 'productive'.

But maybe there is worth in the scrolling. Maybe there is meaning in the careless, happy consumption of self-indulgent fluff and sentences, stories, creations we'd never allow to see the light of day.

Well, everything can be meaningful and fascinating if you want to sit down, perhaps with a nice drink or snack, and muse about it.

And in a world where neither the past nor the future is here and will always be- whether unimaginably faraway or only just behind or ahead of us- untouchable, visible only in speculation and ideas and books and ancient, ruined things and the lines on faces and the darker patches on my hands and the way people have changed,

the present is more important than any language or art could ever express.

And though past and future are important, and the past must be learnt from and the future must be embraced, the present is still the most important. And The Now is a little more flexible in how long it lasts than the other two. Could be a millisecond, could be a month.

So things that make you happy in the moment are very precious, actually. We all have things we do and secrets we're ashamed of and will take to our graves, so why not add one more to the pile? After all, the only folks who'll know are the FBI agents monitoring our browsing. It's their loss, really.

Productivity invariably looks to the future. What can I get done in my life? How can I live up to my true Potential? How can I contribute and be, become something so, so admirable and useful to society and the world that it'll outlast my measly lifespan and be a legacy others will be in awe of?

And regret regards the past. You can't change what has happened. You can unthink an idea or undo what's been done, be that an OC's creation or anon's mother. All you can do is bear it in mind. So, you can decide to stop reading this or browsing Pinterest, or you could, actually, be as shameless and feral as deep down, we all want to be, and scroll the fuck out of that trash feed.

You could think about what about the so-called nonsense you're consuming makes you so happy. Or you could just. Y'know. Consume. Become the Great Beast. Devour ALL the smutty fanart and self-gratifying insert fic. Wreak havoc. Be happy. Forget the world for an hour

We don't have much time in this world.

That sentence is simultaneously terrifying and a great relief.

Some of us will have a century or more, some of us could get hit by a lorry reading this, millions will die tomorrow, and I'm presuming hundreds have in the time it took me to write this lengthy post and the time it took you to read it.

We don't have long, but we still have years. I've hardly begun my life and already the Literal Queen Elizabeth II has died. Think of how much more could happen. And do you really think you'd want to die without having ever spent at least ONE hour checking out Tumblr and its mortifying beauty?

We can be modern day hardcore hedonists. So many flamboyant icons before us would be proud. So many historical bastard with sticks up their asses would be barrel rolling in their graves.

So go on. Scroll down, full steam ahead. Reblog this with some dumb hysterically funny meme quoting that thing I said about meaningfulness and interestingness in everything. Seize the moment, you utter madlad. Yell at a transphobe tomorrow. Write a book in ten years. Worry later and die rueful and happy.

#philosoraptor #I was gonna tag philosophy first but I saw PHILOSORAPTOR as a tag and I have a new title to aspire towards #shower thoughts #tumblr meta #i have thoughts #i have no regrets #i have lots of feelings #i love this website

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charcubed · 3 years

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Celebrities’ sexualities/relationships, and what not to post where

I’m going to make an all-purpose, general post about this topic, because it seems like there’s value in making one. Anyone who’s been following me here or on Twitter long enough has seen me address this before but often in specific scenarios, but y’know what... let me just make a general all-purpose post too just to lay this out for the sake of my own sanity.

We all know this is a thing: people like to speculate on celebrities’ sexualities and/or participate in “real person fiction” (RPF), and that’s been happening since the dawn of fandom. On some level, I understand why; it's exciting to think a celebrity might be queer especially if YOU are. We all want role models & we all want that to be normalized, etc... and sometimes it’s a case of “like recognizes like”; queer people can spot other queer people. But whether or not one is “correct” doesn’t matter, and either way, celebrities' lives are not for our consumption. They do not exist for our entertainment or speculation. This kind of talk can get out of hand very quickly in a way that ruins the lives of real people.

So I am here to remind people to be mindful of what you say about celebrities, where you say it, and HOW you say it too.

For example: under no circumstances should you openly post things about celebrities’ sexuality or relationships on Twitter.

If you know this already, cool! Great! Good! Keep scrolling! But not everyone does know this, and either way, it’s always a good reminder–especially because people can get excited in the heat of a moment and these principles can easily accidentally fly out of the window.

Not all social media is “equal” or carries the same weight of potential real world consequence. Tumblr, for example, tends to influence little outside of here as long as the topic in question stays on Tumblr; AO3 fic stays on AO3, or at least it should. But Instagram comments or tweets do not exist in a vacuum or echo chamber the way people often seem to think, and often route back to the celebrities in question in harmful ways. Those platforms are open to the wider world in a way that can translate to very real consequence for the people being discussed.

What do I mean by that? A good example of how things can get unintended attention is what happened recently when memes about Misha Collins and Bill Clinton got out of hand, made their way to Twitter, and resulted in journalists writing articles that Misha felt he needed to address. On a more related note, recently Brie Larson made one offhand gay joke/reference in a personal Youtube video; it then trended worldwide and resulted in many articles too. There is now, unfortunately, high potential that she could be asked about and pressured about her sexuality in interviews in future. Did any of the people tweeting about those topics expect that to happen? Probably not, and yet it did. But these are good examples of how Twitter algorithms have vastly shifted, and keyword use is enough for things to easily and quickly trend outside of fandom’s intentions or control in ways that cause harm.

Putting any celebrities’ personal lives under a microscope, whether unintentionally or otherwise, is never a good idea. But it’s especially not a good idea when it comes to sexualities or personal relationships.

People will say “Shipping is just in the fandom! We know how to behave! What’s the problem? It’s never gone wrong before.” The problem is multilayered, but here are the main issues: the fact that nothing “bad” has happened before does not mean it never will. You can control your behavior, but you cannot control how other people–especially people who are new to your fandom–may or may not behave on the wider internet surrounding the topic of people's personal lives. Posting about it on main on somewhere like Twitter also inherently runs the risk of other outside parties seeing it, being like “what’s all this then?” and then picking it up and running with it further–whether that be ~haters~ or journalists.

People will also say “These celebrities know about this kind of fandom talk and they don’t care!” or “If the celebrities wanted us to stop this, they’d have said something by now!” To that I say: those are a lot of assumptions, when the only “assumption” one should realistically make is that we don’t know celebrities personally, we don’t know if they may or may not be actually closeted/unlabeled (which is their right!), and we don’t know what may make them uncomfortable while other things may not. The absence of "no" or "stop" isn't equivalent to "yes," nor is it citable as defense for questionable or potentially harmful behavior. Silence isn't blanket approval or consent, nor should it be assumed to be in any situation. Just because celebrities haven’t said in so many words “Please stop doing [this specific thing]” doesn’t mean they are automatically cool with whatever a fandom is doing, such as speculating about them or openly pointing out what they think they know about their sexualities or relationships. This includes posts on the wider timeline, or tweets and Instagram comments @ celebrities themselves filled with references or assumptions about their lives that are very not okay.

Even with something like Brie Larson’s situation... A celebrity making a joke or acting a certain way in one environment where they may feel comfortable or more relaxed–like a Youtube video, or a convention with fans, or anything else–does not mean that that celebrity expects or wants worldwide eyes on their behavior. And worldwide attention is what is always at risk on platforms like Twitter or Instagram.

Ultimately, overanalyzing and calling attention to people’s actions is how people who are allies can be made to feel awkward, or how people who are queer get outed or forced into labels. I literally live in fear of the day when some random journalist starts poking around specific fandoms/celebrities, connects the dots that are out there and are seemingly easy to connect, and then somehow makes their sexuality a topic of interviews. Once it becomes a Topic, it becomes nearly unavoidable for them. That’s what happened to Lee Pace; it’s how many people are forced to come out. At all times, queer celebrities are a stone’s throw away from having to deal with all of that in ways no one should, especially as they get more famous. If you care about any celebrity you like to talk about, or if you care about the privacy of real people at all in the ways you should (especially potentially queer people), this should be a point of concern for you.

So, in conclusion: be mindful. If you must talk about celebrities’ lives on something like Twitter, do it without using their actual names to avoid keywords, because they trend at the drop of a hat out of nowhere and that can ruin lives. Avoid deliberate repetition in your phrases because that’s how accidental trends are made. And, better yet, honestly? Consider just keeping that kind of talk to Tumblr/AO3, and preferably to personal private messages.

Your ability to fangirl/squee/celebrate a real person’s life is not more important than their right to privacy. Ever. This is not a petty topic and it is not “fandom policing” to say things like this out of concern. Acting from an abundance of caution is always the better way to go, because you lose nothing by being extra vigilant; the alternative of not being cautious enough comes with a high risk of negative consequence.

If we all just operate under the knowledge that talking about real people can translate to real consequences for real lives, and act with an abundance of respect/caution accordingly, then there will be nothing to worry about. And celebrities will get to live their private lives and (if this is applicable) be the authors of their own coming out journeys as they see fit, which is a right everyone should have.

From the bottom of my heart: just use both your empathy and your brain cells, please.

#celebrities #RPF #I logged on and I see people vagueposting about one specific actors' sexuality and my hairs stood on end #I know this post is long but I'd appreciate it if you'd reblog it #because this keeps coming up and it keeps BEING A PROBLEM and I am AFRAID FOR MANY CELEBRITIES #BUT ESPECIALLY A FEW WE SHALL NOT BE NAMING AT THIS TIME #please it costs $0 to be smart about this #I am once again begging people to be normal about this!!!!!!#char writes things

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chili-aux · 3 years

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Im honestly so done with aot fandom wars really. I now let people spew whatever shit they want. It gets toxic in the end. I started hating so many characters because of this irritating fandom till I realized that a bunch of teenagers dont have the right to steal my love for this story away from me. Theyre so ridiculous really it looks like a bunch of kids decided to watch AOT and miss the point entirely. Yams wrote a beautiful story that gets more interesting when you reread it. I wasnt even aware of shipping wars till I finished the manga only to realize its hellfire here. I just assumed oh Erwin loved Marry but chose the corps how sad. Shadis had a thing for Carla. Bittersweet. Oh Ymir and Historia loved each other. Tragic. Reiner is a historia simp great. Oh Levi and Hanji are closeted lovers who just cant accept they're into each other. And thats it. But I went online just to see wow manga discussions yaaay and I ran into middle school children shipping Levi with Eren/Mikasa I mean are you ok? Are you not unhinged? Do you need therapy? Seriously guys wtf? Levi/Erwin? WTF? They're literally brothers wtf? Hange/Moblit, WTF? Are you even aware of the concept of friendship and loyalty that runs in the army? Do you think everyone in the army is in love with each other wtf is this logic Im sorry Im so done with this fandom. AOT deserved better fans who'd appreciate the story and its depth. Apart from a few plotholes that made no sense. (Especially hanji's useless fking death, dude she could've lived ok its so unfair. Anyways) I also can't stand it when people start making Yuri and Yaoi ships of two clearly straight characters. I don't mind if you ship characters within a show that have some sort of legitimacy FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL. But literally changing everything about characters just so they can fit your idea of a stupid ship is pathetic. A character is so much more than someone you ship with someone. Grow tf really.

hi anon, thank you for sharing! i am tired too. i honestly cannot wait for the time i will get over this anime, but if that time comes, i will still ship levihan and probably continue making fanfics about them. at this moment though, I still hyper-fixate on this ship.

I agreed with some of your points, like that with a bunch of kiddos ruining our experience cuz damn, I've seen it a lot after I joined the fandom but I just stayed on my place and blocked a lot of them for peace of mind. And really, at first, I don't have any ship in aot not until i rewatched it for the 2nd time, that's when I have noticed levihan's bond then boom, I'm riding this ship forever. But when I dove through aottwt, I discovered that eren-levi and those ships that involved a veteran and a 104th member exist, damn I just wanna cringe so hard (or i did cringe hard) cuz why? that's fukcing illegal, my brain can't even comprehend why some people ship those characters who obviously treat each other in canon in a parental-child way.

and hange's death? so true! it's just useless when falco will have the ability to turn into a titan and fly by the later chapters -_- they're just one day away from the end of the rumbling but... fck I'm sad again.

however, i do not agree with some of your points.

disclaimer: I'm not mad anon!

eruri and mobuhan aren't illegal. people can ship them cuz of the exact reason that you said - the concept of friendship and loyalty that runs in the army. i admit I cannot see levi/erwin and hange/moblit in a romantic relationship too like how you perceived it, they're just more like superior-subordinate for me that I can't affiliate their relationship to bud in something that will surpass that. but the loyalty and friendship between those characters, i think, are enough for other people to ship them. why? because there aren't any spoken rules in shipping so we don't have the right to dictate what they ship (proshippers aren't included. stop.)

and babe, what's wrong with yuri and yaoi ships?? aot characters' genders aren't mentioned in the source material (though i see hange as nonbinary cuz of the searches that i made before when i kept on seeing gender wars that always involved hange.)

the case is, there's this term called 'projecting'. people are often doing this in the fictional characters that they love - projecting their identity or what they headcanon about this certain character that, whether we like it or not, often diverge away from the source material. i believed that there's no harm in doing so. they see erwin as gay? let them. they see nanaba as nonbinary? let them. they see levi as pansexual? let them. they ship mikasasha? let them. they ship ererei(erenxreiner)? let them.

it's pride month babe. and even if it's not pride month, people can ship yaoi and yuri. people can project their identities that they cannot express in real life to their favorite characters. and you can't stop them from doing so no matter what. that is their decision and we don't have a say on that. it's not pathetic nor dumb.

but yes, do not reduce any character to ship material. that's downright stupid. and as anon said, grow the fuck up.

thank you for sharing still. and as I've said, I'm not mad! i just want to clear some things that i don't share the same sentiment with you.

#ask #anonymous #levihan #snk #eruri #mobuhan #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #fandom problems

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queer-and-dear-books · 2 years

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Title: Meet Cute Diary

Author: Emery Lee

Genre: YA Fiction | Romance | Friendship | LGBTQ+

Content Warnings: Transphobia | Suicide Mention

Overall Rating: 6.6/10

Personal Opinion: Noah wants nothing more than to experience his own love story but until then, he’s settling for creating fictional love stories between trans people on his blog. Enter Drew, his chance at turning a fictional meet-cute into fake dating into real dating. Enter Devin, who threw up on him the first day they met. Everything Noah knows about love may not be entirely correct but it’s kind of fun watching him figure that out.

Do I Own This Book? No.

Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:

Likes:

- The trans rep is exquisite and it makes sense seeing as it’s by a trans author. The protagonist is a trans man and his ending love interest goes by the neo-pronouns e/em so that’s awesome. Love that. Of course, we also have Becca, the local lesbian.

- I like the intent of the Meet Cute Diary being a beacon of hope for trans people. I think it is very sweet and noble because stories really do have that effect on people. I always get giddy when I see gay men thriving and in love in the world so I absolutely get the intention.

- I like that Noah developed as the story went on. He grew as a person. He saw where this unhealthy obsession with the idea of perfection had ruined his perspective on life. Being a perfectionist myself who also fantasizes about meet-cutes, I can relate.

- Devin really is super sweet. I love how e cares and does eir best no matter the situation. In spite of eir struggles and all e went through, e can still smile so brightly. I feel proud of em, all things considered. E clearly went on a journey of healing and self-discovery before e met Noah and I love that.

- That moment when Noah had gone and opened Becca’s list and it fit Noah perfectly was so beautiful. I love the slow and sure progression of Noah and Becca’s relationship too.

- The red flags around Drew were so clear, he might as well have been a red blanket. The casually racist joke that he had laughed at, the fact that he’s not even (normally) attracted to men but went out with an AFAB person, the possessiveness, the manipulation, the way he cared so much about internet clout on fucking Tumblr. God, I hated him. But Lee obviously did it on purpose. For readers to see it and for Noah not to. After all, Noah was wearing rose-tinted glasses for almost the entirety of his relationship with Drew. The red flags didn’t look red because of that. He got so caught up in the idea of a perfect romance because it was a cute meeting that he did not even stop to wonder if the relationship was actually good for him. The Diary also being a factor for why he wanted it to work out so badly also helps with tolerating his blindness.

- I love Brian. I really do. He tries so hard for his brother and he’s not perfect but he is trying. I adore the fact that he acknowledges when he makes a mistake and tries to give his brother the best. The way he’d defended Noah against his transphobic girlfriend too, that was iconic.

- Then there’s Noah’s parents too! They obviously had a lot to process when Noah came out to them but over time, they were able to say his new name easily. It happened naturally and the best part? Noah was not even with them physically. They’d clearly practiced it on their own so they wouldn’t fuck it up during phone calls and I love that. I love their support. I mean, they even got Devin’s pronouns right too immediately! It’s honestly heartwarming. It’s the bare minimum but it’s still heartwarming.

Dislikes:

- While I get that Noah had rose-tinted glasses on and I imagine, I would not be immune to it either, it feels like Noah let Drew get away with too much. He should have been called out more. Now he’ll never learn. Calling Chinese food “exotic,” the casual racism, the fact that he made Noah feel less than a man when he said he wasn’t gay and Noah is “special.” Like what exactly do you mean by special? Special as a person or special as in his parts?I’m aware that it’s difficult for asses to change but I feel like Noah had the opportunity to sow the seeds of progression and didn’t. Drew will just remain a manipulative and self-centered jerkwad that could end up taking advantage of girls in the future. Him and the rest of his cronies.

- Noah is annoying. There’s just no way around it. I find it so hard to root for him even though he is the protagonist. I mean, he made no attempt to get to know Brian’s girlfriend. It didn’t matter that he didn’t like her, he should at least try not to be an asshole the entire time. Especially since he himself acknowledged that part of why he didn’t like her was jealousy. That he was going to lose his brother to a girlfriend somehow. Like that is so insecure of him. Granted, she’s a bigot but he didn’t know that when he was being rude to her! Someone that Brian had really liked.

- I’m not done with the “Noah’s annoying” bit. The way he treated Devin like he was above him in the beginning? Dick maneuver. I get it, he puked on you. I would not be thrilled by that either. But I would at least be amicable because I know a person would never do that on purpose! I think I would recognize Devin as this nerdy, awkward kid and not a villain.

- Let’s not forget about how Noah and Becca interacted. Yes, this was done on purpose so that the relationship can grow. But Noah was so self-centered and even his best-friend-approved-dating-list was so shallow. Although, to his credit, I would not be happy if my best friend was interested in a TERF either. I mean, gross. In a way, I have a hard time rooting for them and I usually love best friends in almost any situation.

- Too much eye-rolling. It felt like, on every other page, somebody’s rolling their eyes. It was usually Noah, which of course, did not help his case. I don’t mind the phrase “I rolled my eyes” since it is such a staple in writing and it is a real reaction people have. But he did it so much. It makes him seem egotistical and arrogant. I mean, maybe that was a little bit intentional? But it’s not like he’d changed after. He still rolled his eyes at everything and it was so annoying. Because it really made it seem like he thought he was so much better than others. Again, it makes it really difficult to root for him.

- I can see why Noah fell in love with Devin but why the fuck was it reciprocated? Just because he was Devin’s first real friend after coming out? That feels like such a flimsy reason in my opinion. I am willing to give this one a pass because e’s a lonely teenager who’s been through a lot. Noah is also the first person to validate all their pronoun changes and also someone who has seen em at eir most vulnerable. Okay, I think I talked myself into. It was the unblinking support and validation that probably attracted Devin to him so quickly. But Noah was still pretty awful to em in the beginning.

#Booklr #Booksbooksbooks #Book Blog #Book Review #Meet Cute Diary #Emery Lee #LGBTQ #Queer Books #Queer Lit #Queer Representation

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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One Year Anniversary: Top 12 Ducktales Episodes!

Happy anniversary all you happy people! Yes it was one year ago today I started reviewing animation and it’s been a ride to be sure. I’d always WANTED to be a reviewer: I love going on and on about stuff I love, really digging into it and picking it apart... but I could never get started. I tried youtube but I didn’t have the money for the equipment nor a proper shooting space to record, so my efforts.. were not great. And while I TRIED text reviews, my own looming pile of self hatred meant every attempt I made was shot down when it got hard as me not being good enough.

But one year ago I finally got past that. I’d already been reviewing a bit, doing invididual issues of comics... but got way in over my head trying to do the current line of X-Men comics as it came out, and wisely bowed out of that. But that left a gap: I had nothing to cover week to week and with a demanding new job, I drifted into just doing in charcter chats, little fan fictions script styles. Not bad work, I should do some more at some point and I even got a comissoin once in a while, but nothing I could really live on and not what I wanted to do with my life.

Enter Ducktales. I’d always WANTED to review the show.. and when the double premire happened, I decided fuck it, and put up my thoughts. And then decided.. hey maybe I can do this every week.. and slowly.. my work evolved, getting better and better, getting more and more likes. I picked up Amphibia when that came by week to week.

And eventually.. this went from a hobby, if one I was passionate about to a career. Not a largely paying one, as only one person was really intrested in paying me for it, friend of the blog and our fincial backer @weirdkev27, but .. it’s money and i’m now making about 30 dollars a month due to a comination of comissions and patreon. Other contributers are always welcome mind you, my patreon is here if your curious and comissions are 5 dollars an episode, but i’ts just nice to have money coming in. To have gone from simply WANTING to review things and make a living off it.. to simply doing it.

And it’s been one hell of a year.. and not just because 2020 felt like hell or 2021 began with a full on insurrection. I feel like i’ve acomplished a lot in the year i’ve been doing this: I finished what I started with Ducktales season 3, getting better and better as I went. And I didn’t stop there with ducks: I started covering what brought me to Ducks in the first place, the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, and while that retrospective has slid a bit on the schedule, I intend to get it back on track this month. I reviewed a bunch of Darkwing Duck episodes leading up to the Just Us Justice Ducks.. chronologically anyway. The actual airing order reads like someone took 50 issues of a comic, made it rain with them, then just started reading whatever ones they picked up randomly. I also covered some of Duck Master Carl Barks work with the classics Night on Bear Mountain, A Christmas for Shacktown and Back to the Klondike, with more to come.

And the Duck didn’t stop at just reviews I did on my own: Kev comissioned two MASSIVE retrospectives from me: My first for him was Ride of the Three Caballleros where in just a few short months I covered the boys entire televisied careers together from the movie, to house of mouse, to mickey and the roadster racers, to ducktales (again) and finishing with the wonderful Legend of the Three Caballeros. It has probably the worst Daisy imaginable, but otherwise is really excellent and i’m glad I finally watched it. I also covered Don Rosa’s two stories with the boys as part of it. It was a fun ride and I enjoyed every minute of it... okay most of them again Three Cabs Daisy is the worst. And once that finished Kev started up another idea: Shadow Into Light: a look at Lena’s character arc from start to finish that has gone on to be my most popular series on this blog, and that finishes next week. And there’s more to come as after that there’s a short breather with a look at Lilo and Stitch’s crossover episodes.. folllowed by me looking at all three of season 2′s ducktales arcs. And I fully intend to have covered every episode of the series by this time next year, so stay tuned.

Outside of ducks though I didn’t slow down. I restarted my Tom Lucitor retrospective, covering what i feel to be one of Star Vs’ two best characters, tied with eclipsa, and my personal faviorite as he redeemeed himself, found love and I bitched a lot about the horrible directions the series took and probabably will more as that’s still not done yet. I did what I always wanted to do and started looks at some of my faviorite comics ever, starting with Life and Times and adding in New X-Men and Scott PIlgrim. I also threw in the awesome comic Blacksad. I did pride month for the first time and not only came out publicly, but also did two whole arcs i’m proud of with The Saluna episodes of Loud house and the rednid episodes of OK KO, and generally just had myself a good old fashioned time as an out bi man reviewing childrens cartoons.

I started Season 2 of amphibia with it’s lows of an endlesss road trip and highs of adding Marcy to the cast and giving us more of the silky voiced keith david. And finally Patreon wise Kev’s taken me on a hell o fa journey: In addition to the restrospectives i’ve covered some additional darkwing duck, and a simpsons homage to the duck comics... but also got a bit weird and obscure with detours like the lost animnaics sucessor Histeria, the apocalyptic comedy where Santa dosen’t know how doors work Whoops! and the adventures of Santa’s bratty teen daughter jingle belle. In short.. it’s been a long year but damn has it been fun and there’s more to come. I’d like to thank all of you for reading, thank my Patreons Kev and Emma for supporting me, and thank my family for doing the same. So with that out of the way, I figured the best way to celebrate was to do something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time, something honoring the show that gave me this calling in the first place. And with Season 3 sadly being the last, and enough weeks having passed for me to digest it between the finale and today, I could think of nothing better than my top 12 episodes of Ducktales.

Ducktales is one of the best cartoons of the 2010′s. Brilliantly taking EVERYTHING that had come before, the comics, the original cartoon and every bit of duck media period to craft a masterful, unique and wonderful reboot. It was funny, it was insane, and it had damn good character arcs. By the end every member of the main cast along with major supporting cast members like Fenton, Drake and especially Lena, had changed and signifigantly at that. The show was everything I could’ve dreamed of and more and I miss it terribly, hoping DIsney will do a revivial movie at some point. For now though, Frank and Matt’s run on ducktales, as they called it and I do too since i’m a massive comic book nerd, it’s time to look back on my favorite tales of ducks. So grab your sharks, your number one dimes and your friendship cakes with clear gay undertones and join me under the cut as I celebrate one of my faviorite shows and my anniversary in the best way possible.

12. House of the Lucky Gander!

So as i’ve gone on about before and no doubt will again, Donald kinda got the short end of the stick in season 1. While Frank and Matt had good story intentions, keeping Donald away from adventure since he had no interest in it, in practice it meant a beloved Disney Icon who they and disney HEAVILY promoted as part of the series and whose being here this go round was a big draw for fans of the comics.... was only in a quarter of the season and only got TWO plots centered around him in 23 episodes, with only one being the main plot of the episode. The PIlot and Finale both centered around the family more as a whole if your curious how I counted those so while he got plenty of focus in both, it’s still not a day in the limelight sort of thing.

But unusually for Donald, he lucked out as his one big starring role for Season 1 was both one of my faviorites and one of Season 1′s most inventive outings. A lot of the episodes enegy comes from a one two punch of a great guest star and one of the series best settings. The guest star is of course everyone’s faviorite overly lucky himbo Gladstone Gander. The show adapted the prick perfectly: The original Gladstone from the comics.. was the worst asshole imaginable, utterly insufferable. And for a villian, and Donald’s rival, that’s all well and good.. but his super luck meant he RARELY , if ever, suffered any consequences for being just...

The 87 series simply made him nicer, while Going Quackers simply removed his luck. No adaptation really got how to make this fucker work.. until this one. Here Frank split the diffrence: Gladstone is still smug.. but he’s no longer actively malicious. While he is an insensitive prick to Donald in this one, unlike the comics he’s not constantly bragging about his luck or how great he is or actively BAITING Donald to fight with him or trying to ruin his relationship or a million other reasons he sucks and I hate him.

This version by contrast... is generous. He’s not the most empathetic, because he doesn’t get how life works, but he does share the riches of the casnio with everyone and in a cameo appearance in “Treasure of the Found Lamp” gladly offers his nephews some diamonds. He’s got a nice surface level charm to him that makes you understand why people like him.. but it’s also clear ther’es nothing UNDER that of value, making you equally understand why Scrooge and Donald hate him. Gladstone in this reboot is a perfect example of why we need reboots or new adaptations in the first place: Because sometimes the original got something wrong or something can be done much better by the new writers.

He’s perfectly paired with the setting: The House of Lucky Fortune, a mystical casino with an East Asian astatic based in the country of Macaw and provides two great plots. Donald’s really highlights his character: His understandable jealousy at gladstone earning the boys love through nothing while he struggles to make a living for them, and how he feels like a looser and like Gladstone is simply showing that off instead of just not knowing what empathy is. Having Louie be the one to bond with Gladstone was also just pitch pefefct, as is showing some depth for the boy by having himr ealize his hero is an asshole and be the one to help donald in the end.

The other plot is just pure joy though and is where the setting REALLY shines: Scrooge and the rest of the kids try to leave.. but can’t find the exit. This is where the creative part comes in: The Casino simply morphs to keep people trapped, and caters to them, giving them whatever they want to keep them trapped. In the cases of the kids it’s all hilarious and adorably in character: Huey becomes entranced by a fancy water show, in one of his best bits of the season, Dewey gets a pet tiger who sadly did not come home with him and Webby gets to live the dream we’ve all had of stuffing her face directly in a choclate fountain. Scrooge’s escape is likewise clever: He simply prepares to get a room.. then books it as the check in desk is ALWAYS near the front.

We then find out Gladston’es trapped get the whole mystical contest with absolutely gorgeous animation, i’ll talk about it in full some time but this episode is just a treat to watch, has a great arc for donald and had some memorable gags. I can’t help but smile when I watch it.

11. The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee! As I mentioned before i’m a superhero nerd so naturally Fenton was one of my faviorite parts of the show. Frank and Matt were just damn good at crafting superhero stories, and like gladstone improved fenton turning him from an awkward donald stand in to an awkward peter parker-esque science nerd who just wants to be a good person and the best hero he can be. He got into science not just because he thinks it’s neat, but because he honestly wants to help people and you can’t help but foot for him whenever he pops up. Lin Manuel Miranda is a large reason for that, bringing his incomparable a-game to the character. While we sadly didn’t get a ton of gizmoduck focused episodes, the fatct we got AS MANY as we did and that Lin didn’t drop out for a minute even with his busy schedule was a miracle and I’m acknowledging that.

As for why this one, I feel it builds brilliantly on the previous Fentoncentric episode Who Is Gizmoduck?! which just BARELY didn’t make this list and uses the fact we haven’t seen fenton in a while as both a plot point and to move some things forward without having to spend screentime they clearly didn’t have. By having Fenton be just burnt out on superheroics it finds a way to both explain where he’s been, he’s been busy with his new job, and give us an interesting angle to the old “superhero is tired of the life” thing. He never once complains about saving people or stuff... it’s just like any job it gets tiring after a while. As someone who has his dream job but has struggled with it from time to time, I vastly relate.

Though while I love my boy and Lin is game as always, the episodes real MVP is my other boy Huey. The episode has moved Huey up from being simply Fenton’s fanboy to being his best friend, and adorable as hell relationship. The two clearly respect and appricate each other and Huey is looking out for his buddy the whole episode. His love of love is also just really cute. Added in the mix is Webby, who in one of my faviorite gags of the series, finds out Fenton is Gizmoduck because Huey is incredibly and insanely blatant with his unecessary coverup. But she of course is game to help while Fenton is trying to play it casual. We also just get a waterfall of great gags as everyone overdoes it wingmanning for fenton: Huey sets up an itallian bistro and tries to purposfully create a lady and the tramp situation, and sings opera (With Manny on acordian), the wonderfully 80′s suit from Fenton’s dad his mom gives him to wear, and Launchpad, who gives us a tremendous list of his exes, and plays my favorite song of the series: It’s a Date, a micheal mcdonnel riff.

This episode also wisely ups Mark’s Beaks game as Fenton’s arch enemy, still keeping him hilaroius, with the guy acting like a bored teenager and guzzling so much nanite jucie he turns into a hulk, as well as said hulk mode leading to a ton of great gags from kidnapping the children (”I got your kids.. are they your kids? I don’t know how this family works), to “take that coach dad” to eating a pie with tins and all and wondering about said tins. But he’s an actual threat now, taking on fenton in one hell of a fight, and having an utterly transcendent scene where he hacks his way past gyro’s security while dancing.. and dabbing because of course he does. It’s a fun, well done character piece that’s mostly here for i’ts laugh but Fenton’s struggle with Gizmo overtaking his life, and finding out someone he truly hit it off iwth only wanted him for that.. it’s really good stuff and Lin’s delivery after Fenton finds out, the pure pain and betryal in his voice, is just excellent. Also that opera scene is poetry.

10. Quack Pack!

One of the episodes that started my career naturally landed here. Not for that reason though: Quack Pack is a fun riff on sitcoms, specifically the tgif ones of the 90′s that Disney Afternoon Kids no doubt also watched, the kinds Disney Channel still makes today, and most importanly the kind the Disney Afternoon itself made like Goof Troop and well... Quack Pack.

Riffs on sitcoms are nothing new and the last year has been FULL of them. 2020 gave us this episode, Beef House and the wonderful “The Perfect House” episode of Close Enough, and this year gave us WandaVision, my second favorite MCU project so far, right behind Black Panther, which used the sitcom deconstruction to create one hell of a character study.

So you’d think with a year having passed and this concept happening as an entire mini series would dull this one.. but no. it’s still damn funny, having fun at the cliches while, again like WandaVision, having one of the main cast be responsible by accident but go along with it. The episode pivots from glorious affectionate parody of cheesy sitcoms, to that plus horrifying “Humans”, and a character piece for Donald. This brings Donald’s hatred and fed up ness with adventure to a head revealing his fondest wish is just to have a normal life and not loose anyone again.

It takes one of his best friends to snap him out of it. Look Goofy is my second faviorite of the sensational seven, an episode with him was already an easy sell for me.. but the episode uses him really well. First for laughs as he’s gentically dispositioned to be a perfect sitcom neighbor.. but also for heart. With his family preoccupied and a bit hurt, i’ts Goofy who cuts to the heart of the issue, pointing out NO ONE is normal and even his normal domestic life raising Max, who we see go to prom with roxanne eeeeee, has all sorts of chaos. Normal is what you make of it and pining for some ideal that will never happen was just tearing donald apart piece by piece and by letting go of that.. he finally begins to grow as a person throughout the season. It’s also a great thematic tie in to the season’s overall plot with Bradford and what Makes donald, despite also disliking the chaos his family gets into, different. Donald accepted it and grew as a person.. Bradford clung to his hate and it ate him alive. Or turned him into a non-sapient kind of vulture. Before I close this part out Jaleel White is also excellent and I wish eh’d get back into voice acting. He’s so freaking good at it. Seriously man i’d love to see him and ben in a sonic property together as a mythology gag. Same with Jims cummings and carey. Just think about it whoever owns the sonic movies.. think about it.

9. The Last Adventure!

Look I knew this was coming, you knew this was coming. But it had to be on here. The Last Adventure is not perfect: The lack of a build up episode like the previous two finales had really hurt this one: even at about 70 minutes, it still feels rushed in places and Huey, one of hte main characters of the season, dosen’t feel like he has a full payoff to his character like Dewey and Louie got.

But despite those flaws.. this episode is just a damn good ending. Almost everyone gets a big moment paying off their character arc, everyone in the party that comes to rescue webby and huey, along with the two themselves, gets a moment to show off, and everything comes together to give us one last epic sendoff. There’s just moment stacked on moment stacked on moment from Launchpads heroic second wind and donning of the gizmoduck armor, to Webby’s tearful confrontation with Beakley, to Huey using the greatest adventure of all line to foil bradford in one of the most deligfhully nuts moments of the series, I could go on for days with just how triumphant this finale felt. While it left a lot of doors open.. that feels like part of the design. It’s the end of the fight with FOWL.. but our heroes will never stop adventuring, never stop going and never stop being in our hearts and the curtain call at the end is now my faviorite bit of end credits ever, perfectly giving the main cast and friends one last chance to take a bow in their own unique ways. I will always miss this show but I will never be disapointed by the note it went out on.

8. The 87 Cent Solution!

Look some episodes are show stoppers, some are heartfelt tearjerkers, some are all this and more.. and some episodes are just clever and hilarious. The 87 Solution is the second funniest episode of Ducktales with me and my go to episode when watching the show. It’s just pure fun and with a clever premise: Scrooge notices 87 cents have gone missing, and already coming down with a cold, goes mad with paranoia as the kids slowly don face masks, something that has become even eeerier given everything, one by one realizing he needs to stop.

While David Tennant is an EXCELLENT dramatic actor, his comedy timing is really something that shoudln’t be ignored and i’ts on full display here as his performance gets more and more deranged, to thep oint he thinks an 8th dimensional imp is repsonsible. He nicely balances the disturbing side of Scrooge’s paranoia, his distancing from his family, with plenty of great gags about it too, the standout being when he offers 2 million dollars to whoever took the money like he’s publicly appeasing kidnappers. It’s fucking brilliant.

But while David is awesome as ever what really, truly makes the episode is my boy, one of my faviorite characters on the show if not my single faviriote FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Keith Ferguson is ALWAYS a dream as the character but this is his best performance by far. Part of this is the addition of Zan Owlson, Kev who I mentioned earlier’s faviorite Ducktales character. She’s not only throughly likeable in her own right, but provides the one thing Flinty was missing; a straight man.. or woman in this case. Scrooge wasn’t TERRIBLE in the roll, but can easily step away from his shit or foil it. Owlson has to put up with Glomgold’s nonsense while desperatly trying to stop him from undoing all her hard work with sheer force of jackass. The two jut play off each other brilliantly, Glomgold not getting sh’es not his employee but his equal and Owlson constnatly snarking at him.

And of course both things hit their peak in the climax with the family staging a fake funeral (Though no one told donald it was fake), and we get the funniest scene in the entire fucking show as Glomgold burts in in a white suit, money shades and full dance number to “All I Do Is Win’, which when first watching this I was convinced the song was somehow accidnetly on in the background but nope. They got it after using it in the test phase and the scene is better for it. Glomgold twerking on Scrooge’s casket, trying to get on it to dance, and having to be placated like ac hild is the icing on this very rich cake

And the reveal scene is also gold as Glomgold gets into a YEARLONG staring contest with a baby, fails to steal more than the 87 cents and, in my faviorite touch, put on an imp costume just to make scrooge seem crazier... then keeps the damn thing on the rest of the time for no explicable reason. The episode is the show at it’s comedic peak while giving Glomgold a chance to be a genuine threat and that’s Glomgood.

7. Let’s Get Dangerous!

Frank’s Rebooted Version of Darkwing Duck is probably his greatest achivment with the show. While this show is a team effort, something I slowly realized as I reviewed the show, it’s very clear from the way he talks, how well he knows the show and how much effort was put into porting Darkwing into the reboot that this was his baby. While redefining ducktales for the 2010′s was clearly a huge dream of his... doing the same for the master of suprise was an even bigger goal. And as a huge fan of superheroes i’ve seen my fair share of half assed takes on laired and complex characters. The XCU alone is one giant grab bag of missed opportunities for me.

So i’ts no exageration when I tell you Frank.. nailed it. In one of the most brilliant moves i’ve seen for a superhero work Frank worked his love of the show into the reboot.. by having Darkwing have been a show, one Launchpad loved.. and so did Drake, who was inspried by the show to become an inspriation himself and while his attempt to do that through a zack snydery reboot failed, Launchpad encouraged him to do it for real. Drake was still himself, but the meta aspect and the toning down of some of darkwing’s more obnoxious traits that didn’t work in a universe that, while patently rediciulous still took it’s characters seriously, he made a BETTER version of the character.

This is where all that comes to it’s peak, and hoppefully convinced Disney to let Frank , and possibly matt, run the reboot. And no, even if Point Grey is producing that dosen’t stop that: Thanks to Invincible i’ve now realized that Seth and his friend Evan producing the show dosen’t mean it’ll be RAN by them, nor unrelated to this. It just means their helping make it and if anything given how lush and gorgeous invincible’s animation is, it’s a VERY good sign their helping out with it if it’s true.

But wether this versoin continues or not, Frank gave it his best shot. Part of his diffrent angle is having Drake as a rookie here and as such here we see him truly struggle: he’s had his origin, he ahs the cape, he has the gadgets (in a brilliant turn thanks to fenton, who he actually likes... but is so far the ONLY person to not get he’s Gizmoduck), and the city.. but no crime to fight and no real idea how to go about his lifelong dream. The events of the episode slowly shape him: WHile he already had the spirit for darkwing, never giving up, looking good in a cape etc, this episode gives him the heart the same way it gave his original it: With Gosalyn. Dimantopolis and Beatriz just play off each other perfectly, as the two go from neimies to slowly bonding as Drake realizes this kid needs him and that he needs to fight for more than just filing the ohle inside, and goes to hell and back to help her get her grandpa back, with one of the best moments of the episode to me being when Launchpad helps her realize how hard he’s been working at it, an exausted drake refusing to acccept that he can’t get her grandpa back because he promised. He grows from simply trying to live the dream.. to surpassing the original. We also see more from Launchpad, who grows into his new family and helps push his boyfriend and newa dopted daughter in the right directions. The episode really evolves these characters from the simple disney afternoon versions, who while awesome were made into fully fleshed out characters. Gosalyn still has her edge but now has a hard lesson to learn about doing the right thing, forced to give up someone she loves for the greater good but finding a new family in the process.

Part of what makes the episode work though as while it is funcitonally one big darkwing duck reboot pilot that’s awesome, heartrending and a joy to watch... it’s still a ducktales episode in parts without either part hurting each other. Huey plays a vital role, figuring the ramrod is too good to be true.. and discovering just how it is, then when captured, slowly unravling why Bradford’s there and being at least in part responsible for outing him as a FOWL agent. While this is largely Drakes story the rest of the cast is still vital to it: Scrooge trusting in huey, Louie serving as his logical counter and Dewey meanwhile bonding with team darkwing and helping Gosalyn, knowing exactly where she’s been and providing a nice foil. The episode is just one long and impressive love letter to the original show while creating it’s own thing and that’s really this reboot in a nutshell. It also has some of the best fights of the series, with the first fight between darkwing and bulba, where our hero, unlike his original counterpart, easily troucnes bulba using his speed and skill, is the standout.

6. Woo-Ooo!

I covered this one recently so I won’t go on for too long.. but I will say I hold this one up as the gold standard for first episodes. In one hour, hell even in jus the first half we get a sense of the whole cast, the tone of the show, and the world we’ve been thrust into. It gets all the table setting out of the way by weaving it into a compelling story of Scrooge getting back in the game, finding a reason to get back to what he does best in those he loves most and setting up the season long arc effortlessly in the process. The worst I can say about the episode is it sets the bar a bit high for Season 1 and a lot of the first half really struggled to reach these heights. This episode is a masterwork and the perfect showcase for what the series would be at it’s height.

5. Moonvasion!

Speaking of Golden Standards, Moonvasion is one of the best season finale’s i’ve seen. it’s not THE best.. but that’s a really high bar to clear and that spots currently taken in my heart by “The Crossroads of Destiny” from Avatar the Last Airbender. But while not the best of it’s kind, it’s sitll the best the series put out and is an utterly satisfying epic that ties up season 2.

While I love the Last Adventure, it had a LOT to tie up and was really hampered by having to do all of that with no direct lead in. Moonvasion by contrast hits the ground running with the Moonlanders arriving on earth and all hell breaking loose, and the episode itself breaking into two stellar plots. Scrooge leading an army of every ally he has against the invaders, and Della seemingly going for reinforcements.. but really just trying to keep the kids safe from it, to their anger once they find out.

Both sides end up going badly: Scrooge looses most of his army as Lunaris was one step ahead of him and is left iwth Beakly and Launchpad, while Della ends up marooned.. and finds Donald. The reunion between the two is the highlight of the special, as the two argue as you’d expect (And Dewey cutting in seemingly to stop it.. only to rant at Donald for costing him “ten years of turbo” is the best gag of the episode), before embracing.

Our heroes naturally find ways to bounce back though. Louie, capping off his growth for the season, convinces his mom they can’t just hide.. and in the second best scene of the episode sings the lullabye she wrote.. one Donald sung them every night

And no sooner than Della gets her step back and realizes that dangerous or not she and her newly reunited family have to get back in there, do the cousins show up on Fethry’s giant shrimp/girlfriend Mitzi, and our heroes head back.

Scrooge’s plot hits i’ts peak though as he’s forced to accept the help of an unlikely and unwelcome ally: Glomgold, who turns out to be exactly what they need: While his plan is as stupid, short sighted and insane as you’d expect, complete with forcing Scrooge to dress up as santa just to piss him off and dressing his sharks in parkas (”I call them sharkas”), the sheer lonacy throws Lunaris off as he dosen’t know how to deal with this and Glomgold not only gets the better of him but gets his company back as part of his scheme. “You were prepared for our best but not our dumbest!” “And i’m the dumbest theirs ever been! Muahahahaha! Wait...”

And of course our other heroes arrive just in time to save things.. and the episode still manages to pull off what many works struggle to, something tha’ts very hard to: a SECOND climax. Lunaris decides to just say fuck it and blow up the earth and i’ts up to our core family to kick his ass in space. Epic space battles, Della’s girlfriend meeting the family and more insues and an emotoinal, action packed and fully satisfying finale is had by all... and it’s all topped with one of the best sequel hooks i’ve ever seen as FOWL makes themselves known to us.. and prepares to strike.

4. How Santa Stole Christmas! This one will also be short as i’ve talked about this one.. a lottttt. The initial review, my best christmas specials list and my best of 2020 list. I stand by all of that: this is a unique and wonderful christmas special, i’ll be watching it every year, and i’ts full of charm, humor and gay subtext. In short it’s this series but on christmas footing.

3. Last Crash of the Sunchaser!

Another one I covered very recently, this episode is a master piece of suspense, slowly building tension as our heroes get closer and closer to the truth about Della.. and to death, the simple but deadly stakes making this an absolute nailbiter from start to finish. This is some of the series best pacing bar none... but what seals it is the ending: the masterful flashback finally explaning whatever happened to Della duck, our heroes lashing out at each other.. all cumilating in the best Scene of the show. I said it might be in the review but no I can confirm: Scrooge bitterly ruminating over things while we find out just how much he’s lost... ending with him tearfully and angrily sitting once again alone in one hell of a powerful shot echoing Scrooge’s first apperance. Damn fine stuff.

2. Escape from The Impossbin Only one episode not only matches Last Crash in mounting tension and atmosphere but suprasses it. With FOWL and Bradford’s true nature now out in the wind, this episode uses that to create tension and rattles it’s two most unshakable characters: SCrooge’s normal boundless confidence is shot, not sure he can win this time against an opponent who knows him as well as he knows himself while Beakly slowly unravels, pitting Webby against the boys.. and pitting herself against Webby when Webby sees her terroizing them is only dividing them. Both plots start out funny enough but slowly escalate in tension and stakes until by the end your on the edge of your seat. The Beakly plot is the standout of the two, giving Bentina the starring role she badly needed, having gotten even better in light of the finale. Everyone is at the top of their game and everything builds up to one hell of a twist ending and one hell of a badass boast from our heroes: Their down.. but their far from out and this is far from over.

1. Nightmare On Kimotor Hill!

I”ll be reviewing this episode in full later this week as part of my Lena retrospective, but I stand by putting it up top. This episode is ducktales in it’s purest form and focuses on it’s best original character as Lena grapples with her self hatred and her past. That core helps anchor an amazing concept: going into the Kid’s dreams and finding out their greatest desires. The results.. are all gloriously rediclous and are easily the best gags of hte series as a whole: Dewey’s high school musical santa claus is going ot high school nonsense from getting a’s in Dewology to running away from the abstract concept of a love intrest, to not getting the sybolism of himself crying a moon made of his own tears. Louie quite literally becoming garfield, and my faviorite scene of the show: Huey, wanting to be the tall older brother..g iving himself horrifcly long leg. While everyone else is just understandably baffled, what makes the scene is the banter between Dewey and Huey, with Schwartz and Pudi at their best as Dewey first freaks out and then asks what the hell man, while Huey defends his weird decision (”I”m not good at imagination stuff okay!”), and then tries to get a jar of pickles. Each dream is just so oddly and wonderfully specific to each kid and each one of the triplests dreams, as well as violets being color coded down tot he backgrounds is a very nice touch. The visuals here are just peak ducktales, using the setting for all it’s worth and the climax is utterly emotoinal and heartbreaking... and Lena’s break from her abuser, finally realizing she has the power now is not only a wonderful metaphor... but also just so damn cathartic. And that’s why this one’s the best to me personally: it just packs so much into 20 minutes: some of the series best and most creative jokes, a gripping emtoinal arc, and so much more. It’s just that damn good and tha’ts why it’s the best... that and starting Huelet for me. Seriously that LIbrary scene is so fucking cute.

Thank you all for reading. If you liked this artcle, join my patreon and help me get to my stretch goal for monthly darkwing duck reviews, a review of super ducktales and more after! Until the next rainbow... it’s been a pleasure.

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artistshadow · 3 years

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Okay so I’m kind of tired of the whole “oh you’re first high school love is gonna be your forever love! You’re gonna date, always stay together, get married, start a family, and live happily ever after” Hollywood trope when it comes to movies and tv shows. Cause let’s be honest, not all high school romances, especially first loves, end up together. I liked how they kind of brought that up in episode 8. I think everyone is just so use to the idea of first high school loves staying together because Hollywood is making it appear that way. And the crazy thing is we scream about how we want these shows, especially ones about teenagers in high school to be more realistic, then when they try to be everybody starts losing their shit because it’s not the rose tinted world they seem to want it to be. Plus there have been many shows where the “first loves didn’t end up being endgame.” Didn’t ruin the shows. People still watched them. And besides for those who are mad that Benji and Victor might not be together answer me this: how many times in teen shows did a fan favorite couple break up, see other people, fall in love with said other people, break up with them, get back together, and then repeat the cycle again? Or they break up and they see a whole bunch of people before getting back together? You see where I’m going? And plus at the end of the day, y’all still gonna watch so stop lying. Okay, let’s just be honest for a minute, this show is mainly about Victor really coming into to his own about his sexuality and navigating life as a gay teen, Benji is only a part of that, otherwise the show would be called “Love, Victor and Benji.” Doesn’t have the same ring to it. And plus I feel like Victor should really go out and explore relationship dating. I mean, you date one person even tho ur not really into them then you get with someone else, get all serious with them and then what? That’s it? No exploring the gay dating scene? Find out if you’re into certain things? That’s just it? That’s why I loved it ep 9 where Rahim kind of calls out Vic for his type only being Benji. Like really dude? You’re seriously telling us that’s the only thing your into? No features, no hair color, no height, no nothing just Benji? Okay, talk about unrealistic. I want him to get out and enjoy life, date a bit, explore the gay dating scene, hell, conservative Christians probably have had more relationships before settling down. If he does end up with Benji, mazel tov. If he doesn’t, that’s okay, nothing last forever. If he ends with Rahim, good for him. If not, again, nothing last forever. If he ends up with someone totally new and different, great for him. But can we please not turn into a toxic fandom over fictional characters? I’ve had enough of that with the Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow fandoms over some ships I don’t need it here in Love, Victor-Land. If you don’t agree with anything I’ve typed that’s fine this is just my opinion but anything rude or hateful will be reported/blocked/deleted/laughed at. Watch the haters roll in as soon as I post this. Hope everyone enjoyed season 2 of Love, Victor! I know I did!! Oh and p.s. I love how people seem think that they control things like the writers, the actors, the fandom, etc. love the ego. Conceitedness looks good on you!😂🤣

#love victor #simon spier #victor salazar #benji campbell #toxic fans #lgbtq shows #love this show

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twilightprince101 · 3 years

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Packmates

So I've been needing to do some Flash Fiction stuff for my writing class recently and I've had this original idea in my head for a long while at this point. It was HEAVILY inspired by Lera Lynn's "Wolf Like Me" (thanks again Delta for showing me this album) and it's one of the few things I feel REAL proud putting out! So woe! Gay and depressed werewolves be upon ye!

“The Blood Moon draws near.”

“I’m ready.”

“You have said so often this night.”

“I’m aware.”

“Why do you repeat those words so?”

“Is ‘because you asked’ not the right choice?”

“There is a lack of conviction in your voice.”

“I’m tired, you know that by now.”

“But what is it you refer to?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Is it the exhaustion that comes from a great hunt, one that seeps through your limbs and gives you aches that spare your quarter?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Or is it the dreariness of fog that clouds your mind, seeps your vitality drop by drop until naught an ounce of bloodlust remains?”

“That too, I suppose.”

“...Your conviction wavers.”

“Can it not be both?”

“Exhaustion, though inconvenient, is a natural calling deep within oneself. It is a hunter’s blessing in disguise, as one cannot pursue their prey if not at full strength. Dreariness is the fatigue of the soul, an infestation of hopelessness. Neither are permanent, though the latter plagues those inflicted with insidious thoughts.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“...no, I did not.”

“...”

“...Do you wish to rest before the hour comes?”

“Wouldn’t that be pointless? Considering ‘the gift’ and all that I’m going to get?”

“Perhaps, but have you not gone to great lengths to let me join in pointless activities with you over these long years?”

“.....well, can’t argue with that I guess.”

“Take reprieve in my fur, the wind bares its frost-bitten teeth this deep in the woods.”

“Oh yeah, I guess this’ll be the last chance we really get to do it like this huh?”

“Should you join us there shall be many chances. But yes, if you wish, this will be the last.”

“Yeah, thanks Katey.”

“...”

“...Do you remember what it’s like?”

“Hm?”

“Without fur, I mean. Do you remember what it feels like?”

“What thought led to this question?”

“I dunno, just…”

“...Echoes of memories come and pass, sensations of touch that are not there.”

“Do you miss it at all?”

“My memories have not faded, Jakie. Though they ebb and flow from my mind, they remain. I still remember it all.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that many times.”

“...I do remember that time long ago, when I did not bear this fur or wear these claws. I remember the cold that stung our skin, the scrapes and cuts that adorned our hairless hands.”

“Do you only remember the bad things? Or have those ebbed from your mind as well?”

“I recall them as well, Jackie. The feeling of grass pricking against our bare feet as we ran through these woods as one. The currents brushing against us as we fought the tides of the sea. I especially remember that day you had fallen into a gardener’s crop and had me accompany you in that mess you created.”

“Pfft, really now? That’s one of the things you still remember?”

“Though my mind has changed, my memories have not.”

“.....and?”

“While a part of me does reminisce of those days back home, this change of mine has given me new blessings. My claws assure me in the face of danger, my fur assures me in the face of nature. In my life, this is one of the few times I feel secure in myself.”

“Do you… feel better though? Happier? Will I feel...?”

“.........I cannot say.”

“...”

“...” “...”

“......my apologies. I have… ruined the mood, as I believe you phrase it.”

“No, no it’s okay… actually, now that I think about it, when did you first start getting so poetic?”

“Pardon me?”

“This whole... thing where you talk really fancy and in metaphors. I recognized you starting a while ago, but did you have to read through a dictionary? Or does transforming include suddenly becoming shakespearean?”

“I don’t believe that’s the right term, but yes, to my knowledge this happened gradually since I was given this gift.”

“So then, do you think when I transform tonight the same thing will happen to me? Like you bite me then I have all of medieval theater beamed into my head? Will I be The Shakespeare of Wolves?”

“It is likely, though I will not deny, it would be a shock. I have grown quite fond of the way you speak, compared to my packmates. It is akin to, say, witnessing a fish leap from a flowing stream.”

“You did that one on purpose, didn’t you?!”

“Perhaps I did, perhaps not~"

“Oooh you better watch out, when I join the pack I’m going to destroy you in the weekly poetry slams!”

“Heh, we do not have ‘slams of poetry’ where I will go. Most of our focus is turned to the hunt, though perhaps you could make a fine diplomat between packs.”

“Well, maybe I could bring poetry slams to the pack. We both could! You didn’t go to many but you still know what they’re like, what’s stopping us?”

“That would be… the moon. I do not believe recreation would become much of a priority to you once you shift tonight. Especially for you, considering the ritual.”

“Oh. Yeah, right.”

“...”

“.......”

“...........”

“...you can still leave Jakie.”

“You know I can’t.”

“And why is that?”

“You know why.”

“What of August, who had assisted us in Maplecrest? Or your bloodmate, here in Bloomfield?”

“It’s not me needing somewhere to go Kate. I know that they’d both welcome me back.”

“Then why do you persi-”

“I thought you said your memories were all still there.”

“...I have not forgotten our promise, Jakie.”

“Then you have your answer. I didn’t leave you back then, I’m not leaving you here.”

“...Jakie.”

“Don’t.”

“I am grateful for your assistance all these years, for your companionship. You have offered me comfort, companionship and assistance without question.”

“I said stop, Katie.”

“I shall always be grateful, however you must ask yourself whether or not you should continue to uphold these vows. If the Katie you loved--”

“What’s your problem?! I thought the whole thing with you is that you want to bite people, change people!”

“We do not offer this gift to all those we encounter. Only those who we find--”

“‘A spark of devotion,’ yeah I get it you’ve said that thousands of times already! So then why is it only with me you try to talk someone out of it?!”

“Beca-”

“And don’t say lack of conviction. I said I’ve wanted this for months now, that’s the whole reason we’re here!”

“...............”

“Well?!”

“I… ponder if you would believe me.”

“Spit it out.”

“...because I have always seen you as my packmate.”

“..............”

“...since my mind has changed, I have gained new desires. Whatever old ties I had have long been cut. Yet despite my change you’ve been by my side. My fur warms my body--you have warmed my soul, and that sensation shall never fade.”

“...you didn’t answer me.”

“......Should you accept my gift tonight you shall change eternally. Your conviction here lies with me, but should you accept our gift your soul will be tied to the hunt. I do not wish for you to change with your mind lingering on regrets of what could have been. I respect you as a packmate, Jakie. I wish for your choice to be true.”

“Don’t you get it? What I want is to be with you! You’re my friend, I’ve helped you all this time, I love you!”

“But through these years, have you been happy?”

“..........”

“You say this is your duty, it may be what you desire. But protecting me, has it made you happy? Can you look upon the fields of missed opportunities that have passed without a hint of longing?”

“............”

“I have never needed protection, you know as well as I. These past years of devotion, it has helped you survive. But what I yearn for is for you to live. Abandoning your own self… Do you believe you will be happy then?”

“...........”

“.......god damn it. You never made things easy, did you?”

“I am who I am now, Jakie. I cannot give you more than that.”

“........I don’t want to leave you. I don’t even know if I can. I’ve spent so long helping you I don’t know if I… know anything else. What would I even do?”

“I… do not know. But I have seen your conviction these past years--you have several paths ahead of you. Whatever you may choose, I have faith in you. You shall always be my packmate.”

“.......yeah. Yeah…. Yeah.”

“..........”

“...............”

“...the Blood Moon has nearly reached its peak.”

“.......could we just sit together, just for a bit longer?”

“Of course.”

“....thank you.”

“.........”

“.........I love you, Katie.”

“I love you too, Jakie.”

#original writing #werewolves #my writing #blood moon #lycanthropy #depression #codependency #twi talks #gay werewolves #((haven't posted much original stuff on here huh #wanna try to do more of this if I can))

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call-it-living · 3 years

Text

Ephiphany

/TW: ped*philia themed OCD, parental divorce aftermath, childhood trauma, heteronormativity

With the help of my therapist, I had an epiphany about my past in my last therapy session. I don't know if I should detail it all because it's very personal and pivotal (to me; it probably wouldn't seem so from an outside perspective. I feel like fiction and media have kinda desensitized us to the most extreme of traumas so when it's something "regular" it underwhelms a general audience. Anyway, I digress.)

To give a rough outline, I connected my parents' split/divorce to the development of my worst form of OCD: ped*phile themed ocd. My POCD began at a very crucial point in their split: my mom moving out. Not only that, but for years before they split officially, things progressively got worse. Kids of divorce know this. My family got torn apart slowly but surely, until ultimately, my mother moved out. Then boom: POCD.

I guess I could get into the specifics, after all. Incase anyone suffering POCD, who just can't seem to understand the randomness of this theme, can take any solace in my revelation.

We all know that there is nothing worse than a ped*phile. They are the most corrupted and irredeemable members of society. Well, as my family broke apart, we saw less and less of extended family. Stopped having grandparents over for dinner, didn't show up to gatherings as much, mom didn't see dad's family and vice versa. I always just attributed this (gradual) loss of contact to getting older. After all, it was gradual; and it just so happened to coincide with me coming of age. I never thought much about it. Until yesterday. I put it together that, hey, none of that had to do with just getting older. It was a result of a family being destroyed. But for years my subconscious attributed this to growing up. Not only that, but my family also happened to be the blackest of black sheep. You see, on both sides of my extended family, my parents are the only ones to have divorced. My mom also happens to be gay, and guess what? The only gay person on either side of the family (that I know of, at least)! So, yeah. (Disclaimer: I myself am queer and am not trying to come off as homophobic at all! However, society is heteronormative. Therefore, my extended families are also heteronormative. So these two things combined did make us outcasts. At least, from my perspective). None of our extended family really reached out during this time of crisis. Or, maybe they did and I denied them since no one understood what I was going through (as my teenaged brain believed). I get it–divorce is messy. Late adulthood coming out is probably polarizing to these people, in this heteronormative world. So they probably thought it best for them to not get involved. Anyway, all this to say that this isolation born of a family torn apart made me feel like my family was corrupted. Like I was corrupted. Irredeemable. Inherently flawed compared to every other family (what a whopping conclusion, btw. I believed it, nonetheless). Do you see a connection? Well, apparently my subconscious sure did. And voila, POCD took over my life. My fears and doubts, this is how my anxiety chose to showcase them: by convincing me that i was a ped*. They are the most despicable people, after all. And I felt despicable, but had no understanding of why. So, brain went: mAyBe, just mAyBe it's because YOU'RE A PED@!! ugh, stupid brain.

Phew, this is a very revealing post, after all. Maybe it doesn't matter. How many people will even see this? It's more of a diary for me. Though if this helps even one POCD sufferer, I'd be glad to have posted it. That shit is hard. It's life ruining. I lost years to it. (Though perhaps I would've lost them anyway from dealing with my parents' split in some other unhealthy way). It was a lot to realize in one therapy session. But now I have this info, and knowledge is power. I just have to figure out how to utilize this in a meaningful way.

#trauma #text: realization #pocd #tw ped*#divorce #family torn apart #childhood trauma #therapy #child of divorce #now an adult

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tonya-the-chicken · 3 years

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I’m not going to change your views but it does feel a bit dismissive when you say it wasn’t that bad because he had rich parents who neglected him but hey they got a maid for him and he probably wasn’t outcasted or bullied so hey it’s not that bad right 🤷‍♀️! I don’t know he definitely didn’t have the worse out of the villains but I don’t know it felt a bit dismissive is all. Although we need to all remember these are fictional characters so have no idea why the other anon needed to get so aggressive! Also the person in the notes I don’t know how to say it but uh the whole the Todoroki’s had a rich father they didn’t have to work a day in their life take is not a good look. Just because someone has parents with money it doesn’t derail the fact that neglect can cause trauma.

Anyways for the real reason I sent this, you wonder why Dabi is so insane. Well take into account the neglect alongside the fact that he burnt to near death up on that hill alone at the age of what 13? That’s got to be extra traumatising, especially for a child that was already not mentally ok. We also don’t know what his circumstances were like after that fire, like was he homeless? Or picked up by someone nefarious? Kind of like AFO(not him exactly but someone nasty) who maybe fed on his brewing anger and hate instead of positive healing. I’m sure we will find out at some point? I don’t think it was just what happened in the Todoroki household or the fire that broke his mind? There had to be other factors after the fire after his “death”!

[[WARNING!!! I love Dabi as a character but I am not a woobifier so if you are too much into him don't read!!!! No complaints taken, y'all will be blocked for being rude I am too old to deal with people unable to interact with me in good faith (anon it's not for you, you are good and I can't understand your point of view I am just not as good as a person and too old for that shit)]]

I don't think I will change my mind either but I feel like the belief that every trauma is equally bad is just... Simply wrong. Like, we can legit compare this stuff and how badly it affects our brain, what do y'all think psychologists research 🤷‍♀️ Like, your therapist won't tell you this because it's not their job to make you understand you not the centre of the Earth (and it won't help because it is a legit trauma response that is very valid but is annoying you're fucking 25 yo). And to say that, neglectful parenthood is probably the worst parenthood style, as far as I know XD I wrote coursework about this (neglectful bitches are having a lot of need to make us the biggest victims (the bitches is me))... It also feels really American to me? Like, are we going to pretend people who got to live in a nice house and were neglect somehow got it as bad as people living in poverty or warzones? Hello? Imagine telling some orphan "I know you have no parents but actually, my trauma of my father not spending enough time with me is just as severe as yours". Bruh couldn't be me sorry... Like, even taking into account the fact that we can have weaker or stronger nervous systems or be more prone to depressive episodes *looks in the mirror and cries* I simply wouldn't find the guts to say my trauma is as severe as idk people who had physically abusive parents or no parents at all or who were disowned for being gay

And like **again** I am not saying that neglect is not traumatic I WAS NEGLECTED THIS IS TRAUMATIZING AS FUCK. I just am living in a country at war and with lots of discrimination problems and I like... Can't say I am the biggest victim. Sorry I can't though there were times when I was a lot more bitchy especially before being in therapy so I understand where you are coming from and I know what I am saying won't resonate with everyone (it's ok go on your own healing journey I believe in you) but this doesn't mean it is garbage and won't help me or someone else... I've already talked once about it but as a person, I am very easily irritated and envious and really not your local Jesus and partially my trauma turned me like this so being more humble about my sufferings helps me not be a complete bitch (believe me or not but people with traumas and mental illnesses are often insufferable *looks in the mirror* not me though I am perfect... BUT IT IS OK TO BE INSUFFERABLE OK??? like, bitch, that's normal. That's normal to stink when you are depressed it's ok to be a bitch when you are hurting. Forgive yourself because I forgive you (when you are not being an abusive asshole but if you apologize and explain yourself I will forgive that too)

The reason why I talk about the fact he is rich is that I've got a disease called leftism and I am a person of several marginalized identities and since this fandom LOVES looking at characters like real humans, I looked at Dabi this way. And if Dabi was a real human, I wouldn't sympathize with him one bit. I would fucking hate him for being the biggest entitled asshole who commits crimes for the reason his Daddy didn't give him attention. Bitch, my Dad didn't give me attention either! But somehow I don't kill people! And I don't even have money!!!! But like... I am not denying that neglectful parents are not a problem. It is. But he is overreacting, bro. He needs to humble down and recognize the fact he is a fucking idiot (he is). He has inherently so much more resources to recover and heal himself than I had... Yes, I am just being jealous at this point but honestly. Making an entire country suffer for you is not a good thing and y'all need to stop using trauma and mental illness as an excuse for people. No! Being abusive to people because of neglect is not valid, is overreacting and you had no reason to do that. I am dismissing your trauma because you are exaggerating it to make me sympathize with your asshole behaviour. I won't judge people with different sets of standards as I judge myself

I bet it would be dismissive and bad if I said it in conversation with someone who is currently struggling with mental health and is not a murderer. But guess what! I don't talk with humans and my friends the same way I talk on my Tumblr about fictional characters 🤷‍♀️ Not to mention I don't have rich friends akabsksbxm

I think with Dabi there's this whole thing where we saw him at 14 (poor baby boy) and 24 (a grown-ass boy) and... Like, I am so sorry for 14 years old Touya not receiving the help he needs (bruh so relatable) but I am not gonna act like 24 years old bitch can't get his ass to a psychiatrist (extremely unrelatable and infuriating). We shouldn't apply the same standards to kids and adults. We can talk all day long about how society is bad and how our parents ruined us but at some points, you gotta take your life into your own hands and do something and be an adult. And it's fucking hard when you're born with a shitty brain that was fucked up by your parents even more in a society where no one gives a fuck but I sincerely don't know another way to live. You will feel bad and want to die but you either keep on recovering or keep on getting worse and at this point getting worse is Dabi's *choice* That's how I live, that's my framework and I am, of course, extremely fortunate in a lot of ways but I just don't know how are you supposed to survive without the notion that grown people are responsible for themselves and their mental health. We can't act like adults are babies

But as a character, Dabi is fucking hot ngl. Like, do I sometimes want to murder my entire family, make them suffer AND commit terrorist attacks? We all do. Dabi is the dark fantasy of us neglectful bitches craving some attention. Gotta kill the president and tell everyone that my Dad sucks. Imagine the entire country hearing your Dad sucks? That's the juice, that's the dream. Trauma makes you vicious. I get the sentiment. Imagine all those fuckers who made you feel like shit pissing their pants and crying? Imagine your Mom being afraid of you the way you used to be afraid of her? People do have the desire for some violent justice but like... Think of bullied kids committing school shootings. But instead of a kid, it's a grown man who graduated school and who also have a rich father

Ok too much about irl stuff and philosophy shit. I know my way of talking is kinda brute so just know the way I treat people is different from that I treat fictional characters, in particular, I don't call real-life humans submissive and breedable... And stuff...

Damn Dabi is kinda good to project your hatred of your parents in bruh, I should write a fanfic about that (would be cathartic)

To the plotline, I am also very interested in what the hell happened with him after burning because... How the hell he wasn't found? I kind of DON'T want him to be groomed at this point because I feel like it won't be as cool as him just more naturally evolving into what he became. Like, surely, he is an asshole but consider this: as a villain, he is morally obligated to be an asshole

I feel like someone hiding him and Touya overstating the gruesomeness of his living conditions to the dude so he feels *bad* for him and hides him and feels sympathy and Touya gets attention but also begins to reassure himself in the fact his Dad needs to be punished... Idk it's a lot of mystery but I feel like more suffering won't deliver the point the way I want it... I mean it CAN be handled this way and initially I thought a lot about Dabi being brainwashed a bit or having his memories altered so it seems worse to him or even him being groomed or lied too but nowadays I am not into it. I mean I believe in Horikoshi and that he will handle him well 🛐

I talk a lot so I will summarize

If we judge him as a real human

14 yo Touya - DID NOTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE PROTECT HIM

24 yo Dabi - go fuck yourself bitch you older than me and act like a child and kill people, I couldn't care less about your trauma rich boy

If you want me to talk as his psychologist

Yeah, it is painful and sad, I understand him so much and surely, his trauma is valid as is his hatred but probably revenge won't bring him what he wants. And what he wants is love and attention. But he gotta make choices that will lead to his healing. He needs to *want* to heal. And we will step by step go to the healing because it is possible. He is loved and he is enough. AND YOU ALL MOTHERFUCKERS WILL HEAL I BELIEVE IN YOU BESTIES

Also his therapist (behind his back)

You won't believe it but my client is the most infantile attention whore I've ever met

But if we talk about him as a character... Very delicious soup

If you talk with your friends

Please, if your friends are being abusive to you or someone else don't even LET them say how their trauma made them this way. No. Nothing allows you to be an abuser. Call them out and stop them and make them talk to the therapist. Like, surely, there are extreme situations like severe mental illnesses or extreme neglect where we should be more forgiving but babying adults won't do you any good and won't make them recover

Yeah, I guess this is what I forgot to say. When I say "it wasn't that bad" what I mean is that I would be more forgiving to people who had it worse. It's more of a personal measure where I can tolerate stuff from people who had particular traumas or from those who suffered greatly (it's not my place to be a bitch here). I can forgive 14 years old or a poor person for stealing stuff but not the 25-year-old man who got no need for money and is not a kleptomaniac. I would be more forgiving to Shigaraki than to Dabi because Shigaraki was groomed a whole lot. Same for Toga, who is not even an adult or Twice who is a poor orphan. But that doesn't mean I would forgive them completely. All of them are shitty people. It's just that they had fewer resources and possibilities to not be what they became while Dabi had more but he acts like he is extremely hurt and the biggest victim which is like... There will be people like this in your life, please, don't make friends with them, they WILL abuse you

I talked a lot damn. It's adhd I can't shut up

#asks #bnha #bnha manga spoilers #todoroki touya #bnha dabi #killing people is a legit coping mechanism #I mean I possibly do sound dismissive I am very brute in my talking but I really can't be bothered #all I am saying that I am not dismissing neglect what I am dismissing is the idea that is is bad enough to justify Dabi's reaction #neglect was bad Dabi's reaction is disproportionate though #you. don't get to kill people because your Dad didn't love you #you do get to kill people if those people killed your family #just so you understand #I got tired of talking

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