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bluboothalassophile · 2 years

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Hello, how are you? well, other than bored hehe we all have days like this so i know the feeling nodding. Well, I-I'm here to request, if possible of course, another chapter of "Crime Lord Au" bc, oh dear, this is a good stuff hehe, I know - or not - that it may need more time, but I just can't wait to see Raven face-to-face w/ Angela/Arella, I need that, oh the drama, but I can wait till this moment. Or another chapter of "Scandal", which is also good, but you choose which one would you rather write, if you wanted to write one of them

Hello,

I'm just bored because I have a lot of big projects I'm plotting and working on; which while fun isn't fun at the same time; so I just want some easy writing that's light and simple. How are you though?

Everyone seems to be desiring more of the Crime Lord AU, so I think I'll fill that one in first. But I'll possibly add more to Scandal later today.

Tailgating...

Raven didn’t fully know what to expect, she had dressed warm, sent a pin to Jay for her location in the parkinglot for tailgating, she had texted Vic this morning to wish him luck. Texted her moms, and messaged Jessica just to be safe. She was surprised when she saw a truck pull up, and Jason appeared. He was dressed warm, and gave her a crooked smile.

“Hey little bird,” he greeted.

“Hey Jay!” she smiled; relief swamping her at his appearance. She hadn’t actually expected him to come, she had hoped he would, but getting her expectations up seemed foolish. She didn’t know anything about Jason outside of their morning meet ups.

“Hope you don’t mind, I brought a work friend with me,” he said. Raven raised a brow and turned as she watched a young, tan, bleach blonde; almost surfer like woman walk around the hood of the car. She was Asian, her almond eyes dark and serious, and her face was rather severe; but beautiful.

“I’m always happy to meet your friends!” she smiled brightly as she walked over to the pair.

“This is Artemis, Artemis, this is Rae,” Jason said.

“A pleasure to meet you!” Raven offered her hand. Artemis seemed startled for a minute, blinking a few times before she accepted.

“A pleasure to meet the girl who puts the bossman in a good mood,” Artemis smiled.

“Jay’s been a great friend!” Raven chuckled honestly. “What do you do for work?”

“I help Jay manage the import, export business, I’m his… manager, I guess.”

“That must be interesting work,” Raven decided honestly.

“It has it’s moments,” Artemis smiled slyly. “What about you, Jay mentioned you’re a writer? What do you write?”

“I’m a struggling novelist, but when I’m not I’m a technical writer, and copywriter, and I help out my friends on their comic business, the Oa adventure comics, Kyle and Jess love having my help.”

“Busy woman,” Artemis decided.

“If you ladies are done yacking, I need some help,” Jason barked.

“Awe… but I thought you were a strong, independent man, Jay!” Artemis teased.

“Arty, if you call me Jay again, I will fire your ass and make you work for Dickhead, he needs a new assistant,” Jason threatened.

“You would never!” Artemis balked.

“Try me,” he growled menacingly. Artemis rolled her eyes before scrambling up into the tailgate.

“You should be nicer to your friends, Jay,” Raven said softly.

“Oh… I’d never fire her, she knows where all the bodies are buried and I’d never inflict the cruelty of working for my brother on her, but she knows better than to call me Jay.”

“You don’t like being called Jay?” she asked.

“I don’t mind you calling me Jay, but she shouldn’t,” Jason explained.

“Huh, well, if you don’t want to be called Jay, I can call you Jason?”

“Little bird, I don’t mind being called Jay, by you, Artemis though should not call me Jay because I am her boss, friend or not, I’m her boss,” he reiterated. “I’m not however your boss, so you can call me Jay.”

“Okay, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.”

~~~*~*~*~~~

Whatever Jason was expecting of his civilian time with Rae, and her family, it wasn’t nearly what he got. If anything, it was better than he had ever hoped for. Raven’s mothers were both brilliant, exuberant, and slightly crazy. The tailgate was fun, Artemis ran security for the day, watching over Raven for him, not that Jason ever stopped watching out for her.

The game was just as much fun, which was surprising; Harley and Ivy were proud mothers, shouting and cheering at the top of the lungs. More than once Jason had to stop Harley from getting in a fight with rival team fans. Raven was keeping Ivy out of fights too. Between the moms, the fans, the crowd atmosphere, it was a lot of fun. Victor Stone’s team won, the victory was great, and Raven was bouncing up and down as she cheered.

After the game, and parting with Raven and her family, Jason waved off Artemis as he walked into the city. The ringing of his phone had him sighing as he answered.

“Jason,” B’s voice was heavy and tired.

“I’m still looking, the records in Germany are a mess; with the wall falling and the time frame, Arella pulled a disappearing act. I’ve found records of adoptions in Germany, Poland, and Switzerland, women fitting Arella’s description, but those are mostly sealed and before digital records. I can’t seem to find anything concrete though,” Jason filled in.

“So what are you planning now?”

“I’m going to head over there, start in Switzerland, then move to Germany, and Poland, I might check in Austria, Arella’s life in Germany was wide spread. Morningstar’s records aren’t complete, so I think I need boots on the ground,” he admitted.

“I see.”

“I’ll call when I find something, I’ll arrange for Artemis to run the NYC branch, and close out my accounts here. Athanasia might come with me, I’ll work out details later.”

“Understood. And today, were you at the game?”

“Huh?”

“I saw you, on the television with a girl,” B’s voice was… Jason had never heard that tone in B’s voice before.

“Not whatever you’re thinking, and leave her alone, alone-alone, B, she’s a civilian,” Jason cut off firmly. Of all the things they did in their line of work, the Bats left the civilians out of it. Raven was a civilian.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Jason answered honestly. “Leave her alone, B, and don’t dig into her. She’s a friend.”

“We have no friends Jason. We have family and enemies and allies and subordinates.”

“I know, but she’s not any of those, and leave her be,” Jason hung up his phone as he headed for his apartment. He didn’t want B digging into Rae, she was inconsequentially important to him in just about every way that mattered outside of his life and world. He didn’t want B to drag her into their world because he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

#bluboothalassophile #dc fanfic #jason todd #raven roth #raven #jayrae #redrae #raex #crime lord au

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viksalos · 1 year

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realizing i will probably never be normal about religion. every era of my life adds another layer of weirdness in this regard and i’ve been ruminating about it a lot lately, so i tried to list all my weirdnesses chronologically in the hope that it will help somehow. i gloss over a fair amount of related abuse and medical trauma so it’s ideally not *too* much of a bummer, but nonetheless it is still very long so don’t feel obligated to read. would appreciate a like if you do read all the way through though, if for no other reason than it seems like a lot of the time this history makes me feel i don’t quite belong anywhere other than in a random assortment of friends and mutuals lol

maternal family is Pennsylvania Dutch & Lutheran, grandma flees central PA to escape judgement surrounding her shotgun wedding to my grandpa/birth of my mom

mom has me, baptizes me Lutheran, then later has a change of heart and converts to Judaism, completes the process when I am 4 (thus by halacha my Jewish status is sometimes a matter of theological debate--I was born and raised by a Jewish mother, but she wasn’t Jewish *when* I was born)

dad suddenly gets really weird about mom “disrespecting our Christian heritage” despite not really practicing Christianity before, divorces her shortly after her conversion, they get joint custody so 1 week with dad 1 week with mom

antics ensue. on Mom Week we get taken to synagogue, on Dad Week we get taken to random churches including a black church one time (?? we’re white) and Xenos Christian Fellowship for a few months

tangent: look up Xenos Christian Fellowship if you want to head down an awful rabbithole sometime. tl;dr it operated as a megachurch while we were there but its true strength/horror lies in its home church & small group activities. it’s 100% a cult

we weren’t there long enough to get the worst of it but one of my clearest childhood memories is being taken away from the adults’ service in the megachurch to a side room for the kids’ service, where we were told that if every one of us converted 2 people tomorrow, and every one of our converts converted 2 people the next day and so on, the entire world would be Christian in a month. it is/was a factory for turning kids into little missionaries designed to spread the religion like a virus

both parents get mad or upset when I express any amount of belief in the “opposing” religion or nonbelief in theirs. another clear childhood memory of being *really* little in synagogue and deciding not to say aloud the words to a prayer--mom asks why and I said something like “well Daddy said we shouldn’t because we’re not *really* Jewish.” I thought I was doing the right thing and following my parent’s rules, now mom’s crying. felt really bad for that one

especially: no bat mitzvah for either myself or my sister bc it would make my dad mad. this is another theological wrinkle in my Jewish status also I think, especially because mom’s Reform so there’s no debate about whether girls should do bat mitzvot

teenage atheist phase. easier to just believe nothing at all, right? this neatly absolves me of having to deal with any of that previous war-of-the-religions nonsense, and the burgeoning New Atheist movement at the time allows me to have an online escape from my home life as well as encouragement as an aspiring scientist that science will replace religion as humanity’s candle in the dark. unfortunately the New Atheists prove to be dogmatic in their own ways, and bigoted in ways that people in the movement didn’t really seem to have the words to describe until the oncoming social justice movement finally splits them apart.

another memory: confessing to my mom that I didn’t believe in God, saying that all religions are harmful, when what I probably meant was that so far religions have been harmful to *me.* mom’s crying again, felt bad for that one again. but it was part of the unravelling of New Atheism for me and as a whole I think: their critiques of religion were mainly with Christianity, and they posited religion as the sole source of so many complicated sociopolitical ills, such that all other religions were thrown under the bus and rampant antisemitism and islamophobia was the result

(dad starts randomly saying he’s a Buddhist. doesn’t really change how he acts or try to teach us any Buddhist concepts or whatever, it’s just a thing he says. weird)

eventually (late college/early master’s degree?) (re)discover secular Judaism, and Jewish concepts of wrestling with God. decide to tell my mom and sister I want to start participating in some of the holidays and rituals with them again. joke that struggling with Jewish faith under adverse conditions (dad custody weeks) might actually be pretty Jewish. bitter laughter all around, understanding

move to Pittsburgh for my PhD, no longer have access to my home synagogue, don’t have time to join a new one, eventually the pandemic hits so I couldn’t even if I wanted to

get engaged to my now-husband. in-laws are Catholic; his grandpa was a deacon. mother-in-law is upset that we won’t get married in a church. mother-in-law is upset about a lot of things with me, in general. we are now estranged

get into dnd with my new friends in Pittsburgh. all of my characters are heretics or syncretists or outright zealots. surely there’s no reason for this

get into heavy metal because the blastbeats and mostly unintelligible lyrics help me focus on my work. metal really loves its Satanic imagery as an ostensible “fuck you” to Christianity, which I find compelling but moreso just campy & fun. don’t really think about it too hard for a while

have a really hard winter mental health-wise from late 2020-early 2021. get recommended Lingua Ignota around this time, probably due to the heavy metal and the mental health. here though I think, is someone who struggles with God in a way I can relate to. later in 2021 she releases Sinner Get Ready which uses central Pennsylvanian Christianity as a backdrop, in which my whole family story started, and which seems present even as it creeps into the outskirts of Pittsburgh. for these reasons among others it’s just really unfortunate for my brain worms

get vaccine, get married by my hometown synagogue’s rabbi as he’s the only clergyman myself or my husband are comfortable with. my dad does his part, walks me down the aisle, then sends me a letter during our honeymoon about how being Jewish is disrespecting my husband and it’s why my in-laws don’t like me. one week later on the night of Sinner Get Ready’s release, during my first listen, i burn the letter and mix its ashes with black dye for my first battle jacket

make more Jewish friends and metalhead friends, be mostly accepted by them. get one of my Jewish metalhead friends to take me to a lingy show in his city in exchange for me taking him to an Epica show in mine. joke that headbanging is kinda like bowing in prayer

make friends with a couple local shape note singers, and most recently--inadvertently end up being invited into both a secular Sacred Harp choir and a witch coven by one of them. (that this is the same person is so funny to me. she is also my labmate’s wife and was one of my bridesmaids. she is very dear to me.)

the witches let me light my hanukkiah at their solstice gathering. they think my impromptu battle jacket fire ritual is very cool; they do a lot of fire rituals themselves. (this is relieving because I was sure that telling anybody i’d done it would get me sent to the psych ward.) they lend me a book on Pennsylvanian folk magic.

so that’s where i’m at right now--haven’t even read the book yet.

#idk. the recent sequence of lingy show->hanukkah->solstice->christmas has me in a state of religious whiplash #and seeing questions about who can and can't light a menorah.#i did this year because i have for years with my family; and before that my mom did.#but suddenly ruminating on whether i'm *enough* for any given community had me crying again #i realize the answer is probably that i need to see if i can start attending the reform synagogue in pgh #but yanno idk if the rabbi will accept me. and the last time i stepped foot in there was when they were holding a shabbat service #for the whole city after the tree of life shooting #which is its own painful memory #and i def need to graduate from my phd first. i barely have time for ''extracurriculars'' as it is if i'm honest #anyways. most of this i've spoken about here in various bits and bites so some of this might not be new to y'all #but i'm also afraid of like. antisemites finding it and drawing certain conclusions about me or my communities in general #so yknow. please be gentle #turning off reblogs so it stays in my circle of lots of also religiously weird mutuals #i probably won't get this personal on here again.#text

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wildermouse · 1 year

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Anything new lately? How are you?

ahh !!!

so like in life, nothing has really changed. my sister is back home for now and it’s been good hanging out with her. feel like i’ve really been bonding with my sisters this past year and it’s been nice.

i did, however, go to a Lights concert (my 7th or 8th one i think) and i held her hand (again) and it was amazing but what was even more amazing is that i dressed in a STATEMENT outfit (will post pics) and it was revealing and it was HOT and i felt GOOD and i got so hyped up by everyone even my MOM who only scolded me bc apparently i shouldn’t have been wearing any underwear with the pants i was wearing 💀💀 (pls mom they matched my top it was a good look (you’ll see)) and my friend & i went to a taphouse beforehand and got a couple drinks (i haven’t drank with anyone in SO LONG) and i got a little tipsy and we laughed SO much and it was healing and then i got two more drinks at the concert so i was feeling GOOD and i initiated conversation with this group of girls beside us and we mingled groups and i was so confident and talkative and flirty like oh my fuck i told them i was in my slut era and then my mom said she’s in hers too 💀 which they all loved and two of them at one point ran their nails across my scalp and the back of my neck and when i tell you i melted. jfc. in the middle of the club in a crowd at a concert. pls. and then i asked if anyone liked hugs bc i need a hug and this very tall hot woman volunteered and she held me dude. she fucking held me for a solid couple minutes and it was amazing. and then i hugged my sister and it made her emosh bc i don’t do that. there’s more to the night but oh my god it was just so fucking good. one of my favourite nights for sure. and the best part is i DON’T REGRET IT!! i almost always regret everything i do/say after i drink not bc i do anything bad it’s just that it makes my social anxiety fuck off so i’m more outgoing and vocal than usual. but nah, i was who i want to be. i’m growing.

i have TRAVEL PLANS !! my wifey is coming to visit at the end of next month and we’re gonna road trip!! gonna be so good i’ve been wanting to do this particular trip with her forever. then the rest of the plans are still up in the air but i’ll be going back to europe in the summer, and MAYBE in spring for a big tattoo but i’m thinking of postponing that til at least next year.

might move in w my mom spring-summer and start horseback riding again but that’s so complicated bc i’ve gotta take care of my sisters animals while she’s at work hhhh

i joined a warrior nun discord and have been making friends on there and it’s been sooo nice. i like actually have people to talk to. + the warrior nun fight is going so well and i love actually being an active part of the fight. y’all go watch warrior nun i s2g

idk like not a lot is currently happening but my mental state has been SO good since the beginning of the year. i think i was so burnt out for so long i needed last year to just.. lay down and do nothing. and it sucked, but i feel a lot better now. i feel motivated and i really wanna figure life stuff out. it’s hard bc it’s not all up to me but i’m working on it.

tomorrow is my birthday and instead of sulking away alone in my room i’m actually going out and bringing my friend with me and going to buy myself little birthday treats and getting tattoos and i reached out to people i haven’t seen in a long time and they’re hopefully joining me for board games and it’s just nice. the fact that i’m allowing myself to be happy on my birthday, to try and let myself feel worthy of others’ attention and time, to not beat myself up about wasting another year, so actually want to be seen. i think it says a lot about my mental state and i don’t remember the last time i’ve felt like this for longer than 10 minutes before the guilt sets in

so yeah. i’m good. i’m really good. or at least i’m starting to be <3

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rubyventing · 2 years

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Going to be a lot of descriptions of child abuse in all forms, SA mentions, CSA mentions, religion, neglect, eating disorder mentions, ableism, mental health and self harm mentions, just as an overarching tw. This might not come out as a coherent story, more like an unhinged rant.

My parents should never have been parents. They were controlling, violent, and religious to the point of it being cult-like. Being raised as a young girl in that environment, I had the importance of "virginity" and keeping myself "pure" drilled into my head. Which is why it was more of a kick in the teeth to me when my older brother started molesting me when I was 8 until I was 14. And even moreso when I finally told my mom about it this last spring, and she completely ignored it, brushed it under the rug, and downplayed it. But, I shouldn't have been surprised. He's the golden child, after all. She let him beat me until I coughed up blood growing up and did nothing to stop him, didn't even bring me to the doctor afterward. And even within the last few years, when I ended up having to live alone with him because of situations out of my control, she said nothing --- even enabled him --- when he started absolutely, maliciously trashing the house (our late grandparent's, mind you), and having me clean up after him. She did this knowing full well that I am physically disabled and couldn't physically handle it. I would work myself to the point of falling over, or until the pain was bad enough to make me black out, just to make the place presentable before the next inspection. And she did nothing. Actually, when I basically begged her to talk to him and tell him to clean, I got told that it wasn't his fault he was messy, that I should just suck it up and clean his messes, and that it was my job to clean --- because I was the woman --- so I shouldn't complain. And when I left that situation, she told me I was being dramatic for being upset about how I was treated.

When I got sexually assaulted at 18, her only concern was that I wasn't a "virgin" anymore.

Once when I was over for a visit a few years ago, she asked me to confiscate my younger brother's computer. My younger brother who's a lot bigger and heavier than I am. And who was also really violent at the time. I was too scared to tell her no, even then, so I went in to grab it like she told me to. He literally picked me up and threw me into a bookcase. And grabbed my arm and threatened to break it if I didn't leave him alone. When I left his room, covered in new bruises and crying, my mom told me that's what I get for trying to take his computer, and asked me why I don't just leave him alone, and asked me why I'd pick a fight with him like that. I was only doing what she told me to do. And I wasn't being rude toward him at all. I just went in there and told him mom wanted me to take it, and reached for it. And he got violent. And she didn't punish him at all for being violent. Just yelled and talked down to me for... trying to do exactly what she told me to.

I have really severe depression, even worse when I was younger. And I used to self harm. Mom would get furious at me for it. And once, when I happened to be walking back to my room with new self harm marks bandaged up, my younger brother saw it and asked what it was. Mom told him, "just ignore her. She's just doing it for the attention". Also, I was homeschooled from the time i was born, until my depression got bad and mom told me she couldn’t deal with me anymore, and tossed me into a public school, in the middle of a school year. And when i couldn’t get out of the bed in the morning, bc undiagnosed depression and trauma, my parents decided the best way to wake me up was to rip my blankets off and wake me up from a dead sleep by hitting me with a long wooden rod, all the way up and down my legs. I got woken up that way, in pain, scared, confused, every morning for a month and a half.

She and dad used to spank us, clear up until I was a teenager. It was bad enough we would be forced to pull down both pants and underwear, bend over the nearest surface, and get hit either with a wooden rod or the metal handle end of a flyswatter. I used to make the joke that you could play tic-tac-toe on the backs of my thighs by the time it was done. Mom's favorite method of punishment when I got too old to spank, was to slap me across the face. I can't count the amount of times she did that. She slapped me hard enough my glasses flew off my face and hit the wall, about 7ft away, hard enough to break. Once, on the way into town to see my friends, I apparently "mouthed off" and she reached over and slapped me so hard my head hit the window. Then, she told me to clean up and stop crying before we got there. She didn't want other people to know what she'd done.

And I know my parents didn't want anyone to know, because they constantly threatened me with CPS. Ever since I was really young, my mom would make sure to tell me after every severe punishment that, if I ever told anybody about it, I would "be taken away and put in a family that doesn't love you. And you'll never get to see your friends, again". The fear this caused followed me into adulthood. I only started opening up about the full extent of the abuse with my therapist within the last few years. I'm 27.

My dad once poured boiling water over my hands because I wasn't listening. It's part of the reason I still can't feel pain in my hands. The other being the fact I had severe hypothermia when I was about 13 --- I was told after the fact that I was paler than a ghost and my lips were turning blue, so a pretty bad case of it. And I wasn't brought to the hospital. But not surprising, considering medical neglect was a huge part of my childhood, too. I'm an asthmatic and, before I got diagnosed, I would have asthma attacks so bad I would pass out on the floor. And actually stopped breathing a couple of times. I remember one specific time when I was collapsed on the dining room floor, struggling to breathe and starting to pass out, only to hear my mom coming into the room.... And she stepped right over my body to get to the bathroom.

I ended up getting severely sick one spring. Sick enough that my body was too weak to move from bed. I had to literally crawl my way the 15 feet to the bathroom from my room, then crawl my way back. Nobody really checked on me. I was sick for an entire month. I lost about 60ibs. I went from being a healthy weight, to being so skinny that my dad could put his hands around my waist and have his fingers just about touch. Also wasn't brought to the hospital, then. And I really should've been.

I also had undiagnosed food allergies and would always be in really awful pain, because I didn't connect the dots that it was the food making me sick. I got yelled at so many times for not coming to church, even after I'd just thrown up or when I was curled up in the fetal position, crying in bed.

And speaking of food, it's thanks to my mom that I have a super unhealthy relationship with food. Now, I was never fat as a child. The worst I ever got was slightly chubby around the middle. But I was a very active child, so it was never more than slightly. But, my mom apparently didn't think so. More than once, she pulled me into her room, would hold up a pair of my jeans and stretch the waist out as far as it would go. And would tell me, "you see this? This is unacceptable. No one is going to love you unless you lose weight". As a young, teenager hearing this, it his hard. It also didn't help that she would comment on the food I ate. All this is the reason why, even today, I feel guilty for eating anything unhealthy, and why I see a beached whale every time I look in the mirror... Despite the fact I actually don't weight that much. And why, in the middle of eating, I'll hear her voice in the back of my head going, "should you really be eating that? Don't you think you're fat enough?" and immediately feel sick to my stomach.

I confronted my mom about all this a while back. I straight up asked her why she and dad abused me so badly. Her response? "Well, you didn't give us a choice. You were such a bad kid, you deserved it".

And she wonders why I don't visit unless I absolutely have to. And why I don't want her touching me. And gets mad at me for treating my older brother so coldly. Yeah, it's a total mystery, huh.

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uwuwriting · 3 years

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A little early for that w/ Todoroki, Shinsou and Bakugou

Request: hii can i req a hc of todo, shinsou, and bakugou seeing y/n taking care of eri then they’ll be like “i want a baby with you” :D - anonymous

Don’t get me started on the latest BNHA chapter. I just don’t want to talk about it. I’ll try to make a double upload today so maybe expect a song fic after this one Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: fluff

Todoroki Shoto

-It was during Eri’s visit during christmas that it hit Todo.

-You were dressed in a Santa costume just like everyone else with Eri gripping your hand as you took her around the room explaining all about Christmas celebrations.

-It was a very mundane moment if you think about it.

-You were being kind and caring to a child who had suffered immensely at the hands of Overhaul and you wanted to show her what the holiday was all about.

-Now that he thinks of it, it shouldn’t have struck him like it did.

-His chest became warm and fuzzy, his cheeks heating up a bit as he stared at you and Eri.

-Then you kneeled down and brought Eri into a hug, raising her into the air so she could place an ornament on the class’s tree and it was game over for him.

-He prides himself in being a rather collected person but at that moment he lost all sense of control over his emotions.

-His mouth hung open and his chest started to squeeze, knocking the breath out of him.

-He couldn’t help the thoughts of the both of you owning a house somewhere not very far from Tokyo, waking up to you every morning , making breakfast with you and enjoying all the moments you shared.

-Then other images flooded his mind.

-Sitting in the living room as you steadied your toddler, a perfect mix of the two of you, helping them waddle towards him.

-Him helping them place the ornament at the very top of your Christmas tree every time you decorated.

-He could see your smile so vividly he almost thought it was real.

-It was a ridiculous thought for a 16 year old to have and he knew it but in that moment he let himself imagine it.

-Before he knew it you were standing next to him, Eri running off to Aizawa excited to share what she just learned about christmas, arms crossed over your chest as you let out a happy sigh.

- “My santa work is done for the day.”

- “You would make a great mom”

- *pikachu meme*

-He sensed your confusion *and so did your dead ancestors*

- “I want to be next to you when that happens.”

-Girl you got whiplash from this whole conversation.

-You couldn’t decide if you were soft and giddy since he basically said that he wants to start a family with you or if you were terrified because he said he wants to start A FAMILY WITH YOU WHEN YOU’RE BARELY 16.

-In his defense he didn’t say he wanted to start now.

-So you kinda calmed down.

- “I-um thank you Sho. I think you would make a great father too.”

-Blushy blushy baby after that one.

-Some denial sprinkled on top because trauma but blushy blushy boy.

Shinsou Hitoshi

-Okay now third year Shinsou is a stressed Shinsou.

-A third year you is a stressed you.

-And a field day with your now ten year old somewhat trauma free adopted by your homeroom teacher child was what you both needed.

-Shinsou is like a big brother to Eri at this point.

-He has babysat her one too many times to not be considered at least a stable figure in her life.

-You had decided to take a stroll in the park, the autumn air and all the pretty leaves making it a sight to behold.

-Plus it had a pond with ducks.

-And you love ducks.

-Shinsou had brought some bread crumbs so you could feed them and that’s what you were doing when it hit him.

-That weird domesticity.

-You were crouched down on Eri’s height, one arm wrapped securely around her small waist so she wouldn’t fall into the pond and the other was outstretched with a piece of bread, motioning to the ducks to approach you.

-It was a nice scene, picture perfect if you asked him and it did something to his heart strings.

-Just like Todo he imagined walking home with you after a tiring day at your agency, your hands intertwined, matching golden bands circling your ring fingers.

-He imagined a little Y/N being next to you and not Eri.

-Vibrant purple hair sticking out at every which direction as they would throw bread at the ducks maybe even calling him over when one got too close.

-He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed you standing in front of him, waving your hand over his eyes so you could get his attention.

- “Earth to Toshi!”

-You giggled when he shook his head, his eyes wide as he stared at your smiling features.

- “Eri is hungry-” “You are hungry Y/N-chan!!!” “- and she wanted to go get some good old onigiri from that new shop that opened down the street.” “Lies…”

-You side-eyed the little girl who outed you, her own eyes staring right back in accusation as you let out a sigh saying under your breath “I’m hungry”

-He couldn’t control his laughter as it bubbled from his lips, ruffling Eri’s hair while giving you a kiss on the lips as he circled his arm around your waist and took Eri’s with his other one.

- “Can’t say no to my girls now, can I?”

-It was later that night when he voiced his thoughts.

-You were asleep in his dorm, laying basically on him with your head tucked in his neck as you breathed evenly.

- “It’s a little early to think of kids but I can’t wait to have one with you.”

-And with that he fell asleep his dreams being filled with images of you.

Bakugou Katsuki

-You managed to get him to say that???

-Mister tough as balls?

-Mister imma roundhouse kick you if you look at me with affection in your eyes?

-Someone get this girl a medal.

-But in all seriousness it was a very motherly move.

-You were in your second year, the events of the war with the villains still haunting all of you so everyone was keeping an eye on their loved ones and their classmates.

-Bakugou was no exception .

-Seeing people getting hurt severely, seeing himself so defeated and hurt during those battles had rattled him and he would always linger close to you, a slight paranoia having taken his place in his heart the past few months.

-You understood why he did it, why he hovered next to you most of the time and if you were being honest it didn’t really bother you * except from that one time you went to the bathroom and he called you three times in a row bc he couldn’t see you and panicked*

-Eri was running around with Kaminari and Sero, the three of them playing tag with the one brain cell they all shared at the moment.

-Suddenly, Eri tripped and fell, scraping her knee on the pavement, small tears forming in her eyes but she didn’t let them fall.

-In a flash you were next to her, a hand massaging her knee around the area of the wound while the other one was cupping her cheek, your thumb making small circles on the girl’s cheekbones.

- “It’s just a scratch. See? It’s not that bad.”

-Bakugou was just staring at the scene unfolding in front of him, his immediate thoughts being that you looked so motherly in that moment.

-The concern and the reassurance reminded him of his mother when she would calm him down after he got hurt, before she became a pain in the ass *as he likes to say*.

-Without him even realizing it he made a mental image of your shared family.

-A house in the outskirts, with a yard, maybe a dog running around.

-But most importantly a little demon that looked like you, climbing onto your shared bed on his day off, nestling in between you two as it went back asleep.

-You making breakfast while having them in your arms.

-He really wished he could see that now.

-But he’s a little young and you wouldn’t really like having a baby before finishing high school sooo he kinda buried it.

-He told you about it when you both were in his dorm getting ready for a movie night.

-It was a more aggressive approach but you got the point of his little rant.

- “I want to spend my life with you too Katsu.”

- “SHUT UP SHITTY WOMAN!”

- “OI!”

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez @storage11037 @wolfkid22 @letscheereachotheron @ezoyscorner @luluwiie @threeamwriting @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses

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beautifulblhell · 3 years

Text

First Date

Summary: First date with Atsumu

A/N: Just something small half an hour before I’m about to sleep lol😭 so if I’m not coherent that’s bc my brain is about to sleep 😭😭

WC: 1048

When Atsumu first asked you out, you were beyond ecstatic. You knew him since you were young, so you were elated when you realised your feelings were reciprocated. All the other girls were envious of you. Of course, who wouldn’t be? After all, he was good looking, confident, and was the best high school setter in Japan.

And maybe that’s when a small part of you started to doubt yourself whether you were good enough for him.

When the day of your first date rolled up, you spent hours on your look. You shifted uncomfortably in your new heels.

While you were a nervous mess, Atsumu on the other hand seemed relaxed, and he did most of the talking for you.

He took you to all the best date spots in town. At first you were happy, but as the day progressed on, an uneasiness spread inside you. He seemed so used to this. Does that mean he took other girls here?

Atsumu took your quietness as tiredness. He took you to the popular cake shop that everyone was talking about to rest.

“I’ve already made a reservation here,” he turned and smiled at you, the perfect boyfriend.

A waitress came up to take your order. Her eyes lit up in recognition when she saw Atsumu.

“Ah, it’s you again!”

Panic flashed in Atsumu’s eyes as he glanced at you.

“Ah, well, I mean, what would you like?” He hastily asked you.

After that, you couldn’t even taste what you were eating. It would be easier just to straight up ask him, but the prospect of hearing an answer that might hurt you made you stay silent.

Heck, you shouldn’t even be surprised if Atsumu hadn’t dated before. You knew he was popular, and you’ve personally seen the amount of fangirls that show up at his every match.

Atsumu took you home after that. The whole journey home was quiet. Neither of you said much. Atsumu’s eyes kept flickering towards you but he didn’t say anything.

You got off the train and were heading down the road when you saw a familiar figure walking towards you.

“Samu!”

Osamu looked surprised at seeing both of you.

He looked questionly at Atsumu. “Why are ya back so early?”

Atsumu gestured towards you. “She’s not feelin’ well.”

Osamu studied your face, then he let out a sigh, a look of exasperation on his face as he faced his twin.

“So what did ya do?”

“Huh? I didn’t do anythin’!”

“Her face tells otherwise,”

Atsumu turned to you in a panic.

“No, it’s nothing, I’m just feeling a bit tired.” Because it wasn’t Atsumu’s fault after all.

Osamu pulled you a few feet away, then he put his hand on your shoulders and looked straight into your eyes.

“So what did that idiot do? And I ain’t leavin’ until ya tell me,” he added when he saw you starting to protest that nothing was wrong.

“It’s not his fault,” you whispered. “It’s just… he seemed used to everything, I got a little frustrated, that’s all,”

Osamu froze, then he let out the biggest sigh.

He turned towards his brother. “I told ya it wasn’t a good idea.”

“He,” Osamu gestured towards Atsumu who was walking back towards you, “spent two whole days coming up with your date itinerary. Then a few days ago he dragged me around to all those places on a practice date so he could familiarise himself. I told him that it was unnecessary but he insisted saying he wanted it to be perfect. And let me tell ya, two dudes going to a cake shop while it’s full of girls and couples was not fun. Do you know how awkward it was for me?”

“Samu, just shut it!” Atsumu’s face was flushed as he tried to clamp a hand around Osamu’s mouth.

But Osamu wasn’t done, he grinned as he asked, “Oh yeah, did this idiot talk a lot today?”

You nodded.

“He does that a lot when he’s nervous. Plus this guy and a crush on you for so long, I don’t think you need to be worried.”

“Samu, I swear if ya don’t shut yer-“

“Yeah yeah, whatever, mom asked me to buy the groceries so I have to go,” Osamu pushed his brother towards you.

“Look after this idiot for me, will you? And gimme a call if he does anything to upset ya again and I’ll slug him for ya, might make his face prettier if I do,” Osamu winked at you before heading away.

“Hey! I’ve got the same face as ya!”

“Nah, mine’s definitely better looking than yours.”

“Hah,” Atsumu let out a sigh as he watched the sight of his brother’s back turning smaller and smaller into the distance.

“Just ignore what he said,” Atsumu muttered. He ducked his head, but you could see the tips of his ears were red.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised. “I should have said something instead of ruining today.”

Atsumu shook his head. “Maybe I should have asked you for your opinion too. I just, you know, wanted everything to be perfect,” he awkwardly muttered the last sentence.

Relief washed over you. This side of Atsumu, you were sure no one had seen before. You smiled up at him. “Then how about going somewhere we both haven’t been before next time?”

Atsumu's eyes lit up and his shoulders relaxed. “Sure!”

“And no planning beforehand,” you teased.

Atsumu squished your cheeks with his palms. “Cheeky. And I won’t.”

“Here,” he bent down, his back towards you. “Your feet are hurting right? Saw you limping slightly but you weren’t talking so I didn’t dare ask. And I’m not taking no as an answer.” He grinned up at you.

So you did. Atsumu’s back was wide, and a part of you still couldn’t believe you were actually dating him, but you could feel his heart thumping erratically and it brought a smile to your lips.

“Wear trainers next time, yeah? You always look pretty, so it doesn’t matter.” Atsumu looked ahead as he said so, but you could feel his genuine worry.

You hide your face in the crook of his neck. The scent of his cologne filled your nose.

Somehow, you knew he was the one for you.

Masterlist | Ko-Fi | 2021.08.26

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vennilavee · 3 years

Text

starry eyes

pairing: levi x reader (moon/stars universe) ft kaiya and rina!! summary: some moments through your pregnancy with baby Peach. warnings: pregnancy, cursing, details of a difficult pregnancy, c-section delivery, blood mention a/n: for this drabble prompt req “give me more picking out baby names, painting nurseries, and cradling their children. For moon and stars please”. but it ended up being 2.6k. i didn’t include the part about painting nurseries bc i want that to be it’s own drabble/part of another part of the story!

“Do you think we should have Peach share a room with Kaiya when she’s old enough?” You muse, “We only have our bedroom and Kaiya’s…”

Levi hums and scratches his chin. He absently places a hand over your growing belly- you’ve only started showing in the last week or two.

“Kaiya will be five years older than Peach,” Levi says, “She will need her own space.”

“Then we need more space,” You say with a raise of your eyebrow, “We only have two bedrooms, baby.”

“What shitty timing,” Levi sighs, throwing his head back against the headboard of the bed, “Is this a good time to move into another house? We haven’t even started looking-”

“We can either do it now or when Peach is a few months old,” You say, leaning your head on his shoulder, “You and Erwin spent so much time decorating Kaiya’s room and painting the walls…”

“We can do that at the new house,” Levi says, “And Kai can do it with us.” He kisses your forehead and continues rubbing your belly absently.

“Are we making this decision too quickly? Shouldn’t we think about it more,” You wonder out loud.

“We need more space,” Levi says simply, “We got a baby coming. Or did you forget?”

“How could I forget?” You roll your eyes, “You knocked me up. Again.”

“Shut up,” Levi rolls his eyes and pulls you in for a kiss. And then flicks your forehead.

House hunting was a much quicker affair than you had anticipated it to be- Levi had a sixth sense for this type of thing (and it had long begun to rub off on you, too). You had been looking at houses with Kaiya for about two months now, without any luck of a space that you could truly see yourself living in with your family.

Kaiya dutifully holds your hand as she explores the new kitchen, peering into the glossy, light green cabinets and giggling when she sees her reflection in a small mirror.

She gasps when she sees the size of the backyard, bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly. “Mommy, look ousside,” She whispers, “Pwetty.”

“It is, isn’t it?” You reply, giving her a smile.

Levi has a mental checklist of questions to ask, and you do too, but he can see you falling in love with the house already. It’s cute and has charm- he can tell you’re already envisioning where Kaiya and the currently unnamed baby would play in the living room, where you’d set up your sewing materials…

Because he’s thinking about the same. He’s thinking about what Kaiya might want to paint her walls and how to set up the new baby’s room, about where his wine collection might go and his favorite leather chair.

Sometimes when you know, you just know. He has a good feeling about this place and the more the real estate agent tells you both, the more you subtly fall in love with the house. You feel like you’re a character in a small fairytale when you climb the staircase and get a view of the yard from the bedroom.

“Honey,” You say softly, tugging on his sleeve.

“Hmm,” He says and scoops Kaiya in his arms when she lifts her arms up.

“Daddy, mommy say she like it,” Kaiya whispers. Or attempts to.

“Oh, is that what mommy said?” Levi says, eyes lit up with amusement.

“Kiki, tell daddy that mommy loves the house very much.”

“Daddy, mommy say-”

“Daddy likes the house, too,” Levi says and you beam at him.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Really!” Kaiya exclaims, her arms outstretched.

And that’s that.

Moving and settling the paperwork had taken another month despite Levi’s attempts on speeding up the process. You had insisted on helping with the physical labor of moving, despite Erwin, Hange, Eren, Jean, Armin, Connie, Sasha and Mikasa volunteering to help you and Levi move.

Kaiya sat on one of the boxes that Jean and Eren carried out of the current apartment with a yellow hard hat on her head, directing them outside of the apartment to stack the boxes by the elevator.

“Baby,” You mumble, tugging Levi’s hand, “A house. We bought a house together.”

“Yeah,” Levi says, “Guess I’m stuck with you now, huh?”

You ignore him and peck his cheek. Your eyes have been watering on and off all day, memories of this apartment and of the initial stages of your relationship blossoming hidden in the spaces between the walls, between each shelf and cabinet.

“We fell in love here,” You say thickly, “We created love here.”

“We did,” Levi says softly, rolling his thumb over your hand, “Kaiya started walking right over there-” He points to the empty space of the living room, “You broke a wine glass over here-” He points to the space where the small dining table used to be, “And Kaiya’s birthdays were here…”

“Stop,” You complain, “I’m gonna cry again.”

Levi lets out a soft chuckle, “The new house is gonna have all of that and more. With this kid.” Levi palms your belly and kisses your temple.

Your second trimester, as it was with Kaiya, is relatively easy in comparison to the first trimester. You and Levi take the ease that comes with the second trimester to plan out what the nursery in the new house will look like when the baby is old enough to sleep alone.

The new house is a cozy four bedroom house (complete with a guest room) and plenty of room for play and relaxation. You had converted one of the rooms on the first floor into a small office for Levi, as he was able to work from home more often than you were.

Kaiya had demanded that her room be space themed. So you and Levi had painted her bedroom a pretty pale blue, decorated with glow in the dark stars and planets across her ceiling and the walls. A grey full moon hangs on one of the walls, along with frames of the planets, galaxies and Kaiya’s own drawings of the solar system (and really whatever else she wants).

She had even painted some stars on the side of the wall where her bed is, with Erwin’s help. Her bedding is navy blue with gold stars printed on it and of course, she has her stuffed elephant, her stuffed sun and her stuffed moon on her bed. A galaxy projector sits on her nightstand, and she loves to turn it on when Levi reads her a bedtime story.

Seeing her reaction made you cry, too.

Now was the hard part. Determining what to paint the walls for the growing peach in your belly. You and Levi go back and forth on muted yellow, olive green, and pale green-

“Do you want Peach to think they’re in a forest?”

“But green is such a calming color!”

“So is yellow, yellow is happy-”

“You think a newborn baby will know that?”

“We should create an atmosphere of relaxation and happiness-”

In the end you and Levi decide on a yellow and green theme, with accents of grey. Compromise. You both decide to hold off on painting the walls, until Peach is a little older to decide on what they want to accent the walls. Kaiya’s old crib sits in your bedroom for when Peach arrives, which somehow feels like it’s creeping up on you but still so far away.

Your second trimester is when you can’t get enough of Levi- every small action he does, whether it’s cooking dinner, putting things away from unpacked boxes or giving you a foot rub- makes you want to jump his bones every chance you get.

You’re glad your man can keep up with you. And Levi makes it well known how much he loves you and loves your body. He always has a hand on your hips, your waist, your chest whenever he can.

You bask in the attention. Your skin glows, your hair is healthy and your nails full.

And then the third trimester comes, and it’s possibly the most difficult experience you’ve ever had to stomach. The third trimester is complete with backaches, frequent heartburn, varicose veins and mood swings that give Levi whiplash.

Your mood swings weren’t this intense with Kaiya. But he knows every pregnancy is different. You’re uncomfortable in your own skin and distressed and so tired in the last few months.

In the last few months, you and Levi settle on a name- you’d found out that Peach was in fact a baby girl, and Kaiya was upset that she wouldn’t be able to refer to her baby sister as Peach any longer-

“Let’s name my sissy ‘Berry’ then.”

“That’s not any better than Peach, honey.”

In the end, after a few weeks of deliberating, you decide on Rina Ackerman. You had tossed around the idea of naming her after Levi’s mother, Kuchel, but Levi shot it down. He didn’t want his kids to have the burden of living up to a legacy that they knew nothing about.

You could understand that.

Levi and Kaiya help where they can. Levi holds you when you cry and he rubs your belly and your back when it gets to be too much. You tell him that this baby feels different, that you’re scared. So when you start having contractions about four weeks too early, you’re not surprised.

You scream and you cry, terrified that something’s gone wrong when you spot blood pooling on the bed. Levi looks at you with wide eyes before jumping into action quickly.

He holds your hand tightly, grateful that Kaiya is with his mom and Kenny for the day.

Once you reach the hospital, you’re a mess, almost refusing to let the doctors look at you. You’re terrified that something awful and terrible has happened, and Levi looks you in the eye with your hands tight in his-

“You can do this. You have to do this. For Rina. She needs you.”

“She’s too early, Levi, I can’t-”

“She’s strong. Like her mother.”

In the end, Rina is delivered via an emergency C-section. Levi only sees and holds her impossibly tiny body for a moment before she starts to cry and she’s whisked away by the nurses and doctors. You’re still sedated in the hospital bed.

He sits in the blue plastic chair in your room and holds his head in his hands.

It’s hard for Levi to believe that that melancholy morning in the hospital was a little over two years ago. When he sees his youngest little girl, strong and quick on her feet, being chased by her older sister, he can’t believe that she came out into the world in such a difficult manner.

You like to joke and say that Rina is a troublemaker and she liked causing a scene right from the first breath of air she took.

Levi feels like his heart stops whenever he sees Rina fall or nearly injure herself. It’s different than it was with Kaiya- maybe because he was the only one who saw her struggle to breathe during her first moments. It’s hard for him to lose the overprotectiveness he has with Rina that didn’t necessarily exist with Kaiya. Of course, he was protective over his oldest, but it just feels different.

He doesn’t want Kaiya to feel like Levi has favoritism over his two best girls. But he can’t shake this feeling.

You recognize it in his eyes even if he says nothing. You see it in the shine of his grey irises, the way they’re panicked only for a millisecond when he hears Rina’s first cry whenever she falls.

The Ackerman family is currently in the backyard, on a nice summer evening. You’re sitting on a picnic blanket with your legs outstretched and a small smile on your face as you watch your babies run around and chase each other. Rina is still clumsy on her feet, almost waddling after Kaiya before she gets distracted by a patch of grass. She immediately plops down and pats the grass under her and pulls at the grass as hard as she can, throwing the pieces up in the air and squealing happily.

“Kaiya!” Rina exclaims, “Kaiya!”

Kaiya sits across from her with a beaming smile and her hands outstretched and Rina gently places the pieces of grass in her hands.

“Hey, thanks, ‘Ina,” Kaiya smiles and Rina bashfully hides her face. She crawls to her big sister and sits in her lap, playing with the flowers and pointing to the small garden that Kaiya and you had been working on.

“Let’s go to the flowers,” Kaiya says and holds her hand as they both waddle to the garden patch.

“Mommy’s growin’ fruits and veggies here,” Kaiya says, pointing at cucumbers and okra, “I pretend like I don’t like them, but I do.”

Kaiya laughs and Rina giggles, too. Rina watches Kaiya with identical eyes, wide and grey and full of wonder. She catches sight of her daddy and lets go of Kaiya’s hand to waddle to Levi.

You nudge Levi’s foot and he stretches his arms out for her. Rina concentrates on Levi, smiling as he gets closer and closer as she walks towards him. But she’s small and she’s clumsy, so she lands on her fresh overalls, knees in the dirt.

Levi is about to jump to his feet but you stop him with a hand to his chest. Rina only stands up with wobbly legs before resuming her walk to Levi.

She nearly jumps into his lap and bounces in his arms when he holds her close. Levi adjusts her sparkly purple headband and Rina just beams at him, standing on her feet and tugging the strands of hair that fall into his eyes.

“Daddy,” Rina whispers and reaches into her pocket. She pulls out a few pieces of grass and shoves it in his face. “For you, daddy.”

Her fingers are dirty, coated in soil and dirt and Levi winces. But how can he focus on that when his baby is offering him the gift of the earth?

“Thank you, Rina,” Levi says quietly and kisses her forehead. Rina smiles, satisfied, before settling in his lap and giggling when you pull funny faces at her.

Levi hugs his youngest close, gesturing for Kaiya to come join him. She immediately plops down next to him and Levi wraps an arm around her shoulder.

“You’re getting too tall,” Levi says to Kaiya, who takes it as a compliment.

“My teacher says I’m tallest,” Kaiya beams at him. He pats her head affectionately.

“Come here, mommy,” Kaiya calls. Not like you were too far, anyway. Rina is busy playing with Levi’s long fingers and clutching them in her chubby hands. She gasps when she sees you approaching, outstretching her arms for your attention. You come bearing freshly cut fruit and juice before sitting down next to Levi and pecking his cheek.

“Mommy has melons,” You chirp and Levi snorts.

“Yeah, she does,” Levi says with an upturn of his lips. Only you catch the teasing bite of his tone.

“Mello!” Rina chirps happily, eyeing the watermelon in your plate.

“It’s for you Rina,” You say, and cut up the piece into smaller pieces.

Levi lives for quiet summer nights like this- nights with his girls with the setting sun and a light breeze. Nights with you in a cute sundress, Kaiya and Rina smiling and laughing.

He doesn’t think he can ever get used to how his girls’ laugh makes his heart swell.

tags: @simpingmaize @captainchrisstan @kentobean @alrightberries @puredivinity @regalillegal @castellandiangelo

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman #aot x reader #snk x reader

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spine-buster · 3 years

Text

peaceful easy feeling ft. b.boeser | one

A/N: Here’s the beginning of my new mini-series! I hope you all enjoy it. It will definitely be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, so be prepared! There will be five parts!

SUPPORT MY WRITING HERE: https://ko-fi.com/spine_buster

CONTENT WARNING: parents with disease/sickness (Parkinson’s); swearing; sex; alcohol use; lots of emotions.

* * * * *

Brock Boeser felt like he was at some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, with everybody around the circle introducing themselves and their similar predicaments. The group was in a big meeting room at the local community centre, and when he walked in, he saw a group of dads playing basketball in the gym. He sort of wanted to join them instead of being here, in this room, with all these people that he didn’t know talking about what they were going to talk about, but he’d done this back in Minnesota, at his mother’s behest with his siblings, and he was going to do it here, too, in Vancouver, to make her happy and ease her mind and to make sure that he was easing his own mind.

“Um, hello everyone. My name is Brock Boeser. I’m from Minnesota, but I’m living in Vancouver. And um, I’m here with you all because my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.”

“Hello Brock,” everyone smiled at him, and he smiled and nodded back.

“So it was your dad that was diagnosed,” the leader, a kind, older woman named Esther who had greeted him at the door and stuck with him until everybody sat down, egged on a conversation. He knew she was doing it because he was new; everybody in this room probably already knew each other. A part of him actually wondered if anybody knew who he was. “When?”

“Um, he—he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2010,” Brock revealed, stuttering it out. He knew he’d have to be open at these things – open so people could empathize with him, open so he could empathize with others – but it was still tough for him to do so. “But he—it’s—it’s not just Parkinson’s. Two years after he was diagnosed, he was in a car accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. In 2017, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He beat it but then in June it returned to his liver and chest. In July, he had a heart attack and his heart stopped beating for 15 minutes. I was with him and—I—it’s—it’s a lot, as you can imagine,” he tried not to start crying right then and there. Imagine that – first meeting with a Parkinson’s Society of BC support group and he’d bawl like a baby.

“Goodness me, Brock,” Esther said. “He has support at home?”

“Um, well, money isn’t an issue now, but when I was growing up my mom worked three jobs to make sure we were all taken care of,” he revealed. “I’d pitch in too wherever I could, obviously.”

“But it’s been tough for a number of years.”

Brock paused. It had been tough for a number of years. It had been really tough for a number of years. He nodded his head. “Yes ma’am. I try to take it day by day.”

Esther nodded as well. “I don’t know if you pray, Brock, but I know a couple of members around the circle do, and, well – you’ll be kept in all our prayers.”

Brock saw a few people nod their head. Another older woman, probably his mom’s age, clutching a rosary; a Sikh man dressed in a casual suit; a younger woman, probably in her thirties, with short blonde hair. He appreciated the sentiment. He knew that people took prayer very seriously – that people suffering took prayer very seriously. It was, realistically, one of the kindest things somebody could ever say to you: “I’m praying for you.” “Thank you very much,” he said, nodding his head once.

***

There was an arrangement of cookies at the end of the meeting. Even after the 90 minutes of everybody talking about their experiences and emotions, they apparently liked to stick around afterwards as well just to mingle. It didn’t all have to be doom and gloom, he thought. It didn’t all have to be about Parkinson’s or about sick people or losing your loved ones all the time. Maybe some people just wanted to talk about the news. Maybe some people just wanted to talk about sports. The weather. Anything. Anything to make a connection with someone beyond something so tragic.

After stuffing an entire Fudge-O cookie into his mouth, he looked up to see a young woman staring at him, holding her trenchcoat in her arms. She was smiling to let him know she was friendly. He was embarrassed because he knew she just saw him stuff an entire Fudge-O into his mouth. “Hi,” he said, his mouth still full of cookie, the sound of his voice reflecting that fact.

“You’re Brock Boeser, right?” she asked sweetly. “You play for the Vancouver Canucks?”

“Yeah,” Brock couldn’t help but smile. He swallowed the rest of the cookie even though he didn’t really finish chewing it. “That’s me. Are you a fan?”

“My step-brothers are more so than I am,” she said. “But I’m a fan of the team, yeah. I’m Grace Gillespie,” she extended her hand to shake his. “God, they’re not gonna believe me when I say I met you. They’re gonna freak.”

Brock couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. “Do you—I mean, do you want a picture? I don’t mind at all. I’ll sign an autograph on a napkin if you want me to.”

“Well…it’s a bit awkward to ask you at a Parkinson’s Society of BC meeting, but we could go to the Starbucks down the street and I could buy you a coffee.”

Brock was slightly taken aback at her forwardness. He shouldn’t have been. Girls came up to him all the time. All the time. And they were most definitely not shy. But he wasn’t exactly expecting it to happen here, of all places. A bar, sure. Out with Petey or any of the other guys, absolutely. But not here. “Yeah…yeah sure,” he stuttered out.

“Then we should go,” Grace smiled. She turned to look behind her. Brock saw Esther picking up a few Oreos. “Thank you for leading another great session, Esther,” Grace said.

“Oh you are most welcome Miss Gillespie. How is Hamish these days? You didn’t speak much today.”

“He’s been doing fine lately. His caregivers have been working around the clock for him. They just work wonders, don’t they?”

Esther nodded. “They are angels on Earth. Anyways – we’ll catch up next week,” she said, leaning slightly on her leg to look beyond Grace and to Brock. “I hope to see you here again next week, Brock.”

“Thank you, Esther. See you next week,” he said, realizing he made the commitment before he could even realize what he was saying.

***

“I take that was your first meeting?” Grace asked as she set down the two lattes on the table against the window where Brock was waiting.

“Was it really obvious?” Brock asked.

Grace shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t want to make him feel self-conscious. “It was the stuttering that gave it away, at least to me. I know I stuttered a lot the first few times I came to these meetings. I wasn’t the most comfortable talking about my dad’s condition to a room full of virtual strangers. But within just a few months I realized the people in that room are the kindest, most empathetic, most amazing people that I’ve ever interacted with. So I became a lot more open.”

Brock was transfixed by every word that Grace was saying. “So you’ve been coming here a long time,” he said.

Grace nodded. “My dad got diagnosed with Parkinson’s when I was fourteen. I didn’t start coming here until I was about eighteen, though.”

Brock knew he shouldn’t ask. He knew he shouldn’t. But his brain had ulterior motives, and his mouth – well, his mouth listened to his brain, because it apparently needed to know. “Is your—is your dad like my dad?” he asked. “Does he have, like, other problems complicating things?”

Grace shook her head. “No,” she said softly. “But the Parkinson’s is enough for him. I mean he was diagnosed just short of ten years ago and he’s already on puréed foods. It’s not—I mean, you know as well as I do that it doesn’t regularly develop that fast. But that’s…I don’t know how you do it.”

Brock didn’t know either. Some days he didn’t. “I just take it day by day,” he said simply, just like he said in the meeting. “If I think about it too much…that’s when it’s bad.”

“I hear ya,” Grace said, taking a sip of her coffee. “But let’s…not talk about this for too long. Do you like Vancouver? Do you find it nice?”

Brock appreciated the change in topic. “I love it here,” he nodded his head, smiling. “The city’s great. The fans are great. My teammates – I mean they’re amazing. What do you do?”

“I’m a dance teacher at Goh Ballet – little kids and teens, mostly.”

He wasn’t expecting that. She was drop dead gorgeous, sure – Brock wasn’t blind – but he wasn’t expecting to hear she was a dancer. “Do you, like, dance in the real ballet?”

Grace snorted slightly at his phrasing of ‘real ballet’. “No. I pursued it only up until a certain point. I was good, but uh, I stopped when my dad got diagnosed.”

“Why? Don’t they always tell people like us to have, like, an outlet or whatever?”

“They do. But I loved my dad more than I loved dance. And I would have rather spent the time that I was spending on dance with him instead.”

He understood where she was coming from, and he wasn’t there to judge her. “And your brothers you mentioned, did they help too?”

“Oh no no no. Sorry – I should have specified. I’m an only child. Like, the only child between my parents. But they divorced when I was six and when my mom re-married I gained two step-brothers, Jasper and Theo.”

“How was the divorce?” Brock found himself asking.

“You ever see footage of a nuclear bomb exploding?” Grace giggled as she asked the question. It caused Brock to laugh too even though the analogy she was making was dreadful. “It was awful. The type of divorce nobody deserves, you know? I became a pawn, basically, and my parents would only speak to each other through lawyers. Even stuff concerning me. It was bad.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“It was. But it’s the only life I know,” she said. “He was lucky my mom ended up marrying another rich guy. I mean, my mom only marries rich men,” she giggled slightly again. “That’s how Jasper and Theo became my step-brothers.”

“So your family has money?” Brock clarified. “What’s it from? Dad a lawyer or something?”

“Not exactly,” Grace said. “My dad and his brothers own a private equity firm that started like this,” she pinched her fingers together, “and went like…” she continued, spreading her fingers and moving her hands around her like a bomb explosion. “Gillespie Brothers Investments. I’m sure as a Vancouver Canuck you’ve heard of them. I mean they wanted to buy the Canucks before the Aquilinis.”

Brock hadn’t heard of them, but he now knew he’d have to do some snooping when he got home. “I haven’t heard of them. But I mean – sounds like they were successful.”

“Three billion dollars is pretty successful to me,” Grace quipped.

“B—Billion,” Brock sputtered out. “With a B.”

“With a B,” Grace nodded. Brock had no idea he was sitting across from the daughter of a billionaire. She didn’t act like a billionaire. Not like Brock knew what billionaires acted like. He’d never met one before in his life. Well, besides Francesco. “But tell me more about what you like about Vancouver. What about the nature? I always kind of fine a good long walk along the Seawall or through Stanley Park really clears my mind from all…this. What about you?”

Brock smiled. “I find the white noise of downtown clears my mind.”

***

“You want my number,” Grace said as a statement rather than a question as she and Brock exited the Starbucks. They were kicked out. They’d been there for so long that they’d been kicked out because they were closing. Their coffees had gotten cold. They hadn’t ordered new ones. And now they found themselves on the deserted sidewalk, jackets put on hastily, and Grace came up with that.

Brock looked down at her. They’d been able to look into each other’s soul for the past few hours. “Of course I want your number,” he said. There was no reason to hide it. No reason to deny it. No reason to have to wait until next week to see her again as they sat around in a circle in a community centre talking about their parents.

He took out his phone. She gave him her number. He texted his name to hers so she’d have his. When that dance was done, she looked up at him. “I’m really glad I met you tonight,” she said, her voice sincere.

Brock nodded. “I’m glad I met you too. I—I really enjoyed this. And I mean—I needed it.”

Grace smiled, nodding her head. “I needed it too.”

“D’you—” Brock stopped, trying not to get too far ahead of himself. “D’you need a ride home?”

“Oh no no, my driver is right there,” she motioned her head towards a black Mercedes waiting by the curb.

Brock hadn’t noticed the car until now. “Chauffeur?”

“Billionaire dad,” she winked. Brock understood. She took a few steps back before smiling one more time. “Call me,” she said, before flipping her hair over her shoulder and walking towards the Mercedes and getting into the backseat. Brock watched as it drove off, making a right at the end of the street.

He would definitely be calling.

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robinofgothamcity · 3 years

Text

♡ starting prompt: “were you ever going to tell me?”

♡ pairing: dick grayson (S1 YJ Robin) x fem reader

♡ lyric inspiration: “take a ride up to Malibu, I just wanna sit and look at you, look at you. what would it matter if your friends knew? who cares what other people say anyway.”

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes

both you and Dick walked out of Gotham Academy, laughing at some stupid joke he made as the two of you walked to the nearest coffee shop. the two of you religiously bought coffee and hung out every Thursday after school until it was time to head home.

you and Dick, unknown to each other9, had commitments to the YJ team and usually had to meet the team later in the night and today happened to be one of those days.

you really weren’t in the mood to go out for a patrol tonight but on Saturday, you had accepted to be Dick’s date to the winter formal Gotham Academy was holding and you had to excuse yourself from patrolling duties for the night.

you knew Diana would have no issue in you missing for one night but the team on the other hand would probably throw a fit for it.

whenever there was time to lounge around, you usually hid behind a domino mask and a beanie to cover your hair. your uniform on the other hand was very much like Wally’s. it pulled over your head and covered some of your face and most of your hair so it went unnoticed by everyone.

you were very similar to Robin in that aspect. the two of you hid your identities extremely well and no one outside of your mentors knew who you truly were. Wonder Woman had especially emphasized that a kid still in school should not reveal their real identity and if you wanted to once you turned 18, you could, but until then, she made you swear to never reveal who you were.

“what has you in such deep thought?” Dick asked, giving you a smile. you shook your head, “nothing. just stuff with school,” you replied. Dick had saw the bruises and cuts on your legs that you tried to hide, “you have more bruises?” he asked.

“I told you my MMA training went hard last night,” you exclaimed, “I had a partner that was double my size and she nearly wanted to kill me,” you tried to joke.

you could tell that Dick wasn’t believing what you were saying, “but you shouldn’t be the one to talk! you have a gash running down your arm! don’t think I didn’t notice,” you retaliated. he immediately tried to explain himself, “acrobatics is an intense hobby!” he replied.

you gave him a look before shoving him playfully onto the grass. Dick pushed you back as the two of you finally arrived to the coffee shop. you put your bag down in the booth before meeting Dick at the line.

“just be careful! those cuts and bruises look intense,” he said a bit more seriously. you squeezed his arm in agreement, “of course but same goes for you. the gash on your arm looks pretty deep,” you stated, running your finger on the now healing gash.

he paid for both of your drinks and the two of you made your way to the booth and took out your books.

you had befriended Dick when he first arrived to Gotham Academy. since he was the adopted son to Bruce Wayne, everyone wanted to befriend the son of the man who ran Gotham with an iron fist. you on the other hand had to befriend him because you were the captain of the Mathlete’s team.

that was the club Dick first wanted to join and although he didn’t know exactly how to join, he saw that you were in his AP Calc BC class and saw the jacket you carried around with the medals you on won on it. he quietly followed you to the auditorium that day and scooped out the team before embarrassingly introducing him and explaining why he wanted to join.

you instantly clicked with him and tried him out for the team for a few days when you realized that he was probably the second smartest on the team. he won a plaque on his first round of tournaments and gained honoree status not long after.

“god, I feel like Brunner is killing us with the amount of work he’s giving us,” you growled into your textbook, “does he not realize that people have lives and jobs?” you continued to complain.

Dick shook his head, “not like he cares. he’s just a bitter old man who wants to make us suffer,” he admitted. you laughed, accidentally choking on your coffee by the comment, “it’s true! he knows everyone is excited about the formal so he probably piled on work to make us suffer,” Dick continued.

you threw him your paper as he quickly dodged it. the two of you worked through the worksheets until you felt your communicator go off. you discreetly looked down and saw that Kaldur was calling everyone to Mount Justice for a new mission.

“hey Dick, I have to go,” you admitted a bit sadly, “my mom wants me home to babysit my niece and she needs me home in a few minutes.” Dick nodded understandingly, “yeah, Bruce seems like he needs me home too. see you tomorrow?” he asked, “of course!”

the two of you practically darted in different directions as you ran to the nearest zeta tube location. it was inside of an old building as you quickly discarded your uniform, putting it inside of your bag as you pulled on your other uniform.

as soon as you arrived to Mount Justice, you saw everyone crowding around the table that Red Tornado was explaining the mission at. you stood next to Kaldur and Connor, flashing them an ‘i’m sorry for being really late’ smile. Kaldur patted your shoulder as the table shut off after the instructions were finished.

“so, the pairs are, Wally, Artemis and I, Connor and M’Gann, and ( your name ) with Robin,” Kaldur explained, “since both of you know Gotham Academy well, the two of you will be patrolling inside the school while Connor and M’gann gather the information we need from the teacher.”

you and Robin high-fived, quickly getting on the motorcycles and racing towards the school. you weren’t particularly close with Robin but when the two of you were a team, it was nearly impossible to stop the two of you. the chemistry when you both fought together didn’t go unnoticed by anyone and Kaldur tended to pair you up together when he knew Wally and Robin would goof off the whole time.

“so, you go to Gotham Academy?” Robin asked. you nodded, “I do! I had no idea you went there,” you replied, “I wonder if we’ve ever met each other,” Robin joked.

you gave him a look, “please, I doubt it. I get the sense that you’d probably be really popular and I am the farthest from that,” you admitted. Robin gave you a look, “trust me, I am not popular. are you in any clubs?” Robin asked.

a part of you screamed to tell him but another part of you told you no, “I am but for the sake of keeping my identity a secret, I would rather not say,” you said empathetically. Robin waved your off, “no, I completely understand. the Bat would kill me if he found out someone knew who I was,” you couldn’t help but laugh, “yeah, Wonder Woman would lasso me into another dimension if I did the same.”

once the two of you parked your motorcycles into the parking lot and sneaked your way inside. you both landed by the auditorium and started to walk around.

the patrolling went by with mild conversation. since you had to inform Kaldur about both of you coordinates every few minutes, that was probably the only time you spoke up. it wasn’t until you passed the glass shelves that held all of the Mathlete trophies that you made a sudden stop.

“do you know someone on the team?” Robin asked, gulping his nervousness down a bit. “yeah, I have two friends on the team. one of which I think I like,” you admitted sheepishly.

Robin gave you a smirk, “oh, tell me! tell me! I want to know!” he exclaimed excitedly. you shoved him against the wall, “no! because if you know him? then you’re going to tell him!” you whisper-yelled. Robin waved you off, basically begging you to tell him, “fine, if I tell you then you’re going to have to swear that you’ll never tell him,” you stated.

he nodded as you discreetly opened the glass door and took the photo out, “it’s Dick Grayson. he’s so....” you trailed off not knowing to what to say as you stared at the photo mesmerized. Robin remained silent, standing as stiff as a board, “really?” he whispered.

“yeah, is that an issue?” you asked, a bit surprised by his reaction, “no, not at all. plus, I can’t even lie, the person I’ve been dying to ask out is also on the team,” your eyebrows fluttered to confusion as stared at him, “I told you who my crush is so it’s only fair you tell me!” you said.

Robin shook his head no, “AH! nope! you’re telling me! I told you my crush on Dick and now you have to tell me! plus, I didn’t know you were gay,” you said off-handedly. Robin stared at you now in more confusion, “I’m not? not that there would be an issue with that if I was but regardless, where did you get that idea?” he asked.

you held back your laugh, “I mean, the team is mostly guys unless you have a crush on her,” you pointed to yourself jokingly. Robin didn’t say anything as the silence basically answered your question, “wait, do you have a crush on her?” you asked a bit more seriously now.

“yeah, it’s her. she’s in a few of my classes and my god, she’s gorgeous,” he said “everything I look in for a girl.” your heart stopped dead in it’s tracks as Robin’s communicator went off indicating that Connor and M’Gann got what they needed.

you hadn’t said much after Robin had confessed his crush to you. you had no idea that it was going to be you who he was and although now you were dying to know his true identity, you knew you shouldn’t even bother with it. plus, Robin probably felt the same way you did when you confessed your crush on Dick.

after all of you told Red Tornado the information, you quickly departed from the team, telling them you had to be up at 6:00 to get ready for school. Robin could tell that after he admitted his crush to you, you felt a certain way about it but if anything, he should be the one weirded out. you had a crush on him! but considering your identity was sealed shut, he would never know who it really was that liked him unless he figured out your true identity.

the next morning, you woke up and put on your uniform as you ran your fingers over the burgundy colored gown you were wearing tomorrow. you were beyond excited to be Dick’s date to the formal and you had to be at his place at five to catch dinner before the dance.

once you made it to school, you greeted Dick with a smile, “mornin’ Grayson!” you said happily. he responded by putting his arm around you with the same amount of excitement you had, “what has you so excited today?” he asked.

“nothing! just something you shouldn’t worry about! how was your night?” you asked. you felt Dick’s body go stiff as he tried to conjure up some lie, “fine! Bruce had me doing some work for Wayne Enterprises and it practically put me into the grave,” he joked.

the two of you walked to your math class, slumping immediately into your seats as the morning announcements went off. you were doodling in your notebook as Dick kept muttering to himself about something you couldn’t quiet understand.

throughout the entire day, you could sense that Dick’s attention was not exactly spot on. his mind seemed to be on cloud nine and once the end of the day came, he had a bunch of theories written inside of his notebook about ( your hero name ) and who could she possibly be.

“Dick, you’ve been off all day!” you said now a bit annoyed, “is something wrong?” you asked again. he shook his head no, “no, I’m more than okay! just excited about tomorrow is all,” he replied. you nodded, “me too! I’ll be at your house around five so we can eat dinner and head to the dance,” you mentioned as you saw your mom pull up.

“see ya tomorrow!” Dick exclaimed.

first thing Saturday morning, your mom shook you awake. she said that your stylist would be here any minute to get your hair/makeup done and you needed to shower before then.

you quickly hopped into the shower while you pulled on some pajamas for the time being. as soon as you got out, you brushed your hair and teeth before walking to the living room to see the stylist preparing her things on the kitchen table.

“ready love?” she asked sweetly. you nodded, “ready as ever!” you replied as you sat down.

the time she did your hair, you were making small talk until you heard a knock on the door. your mom mentioned she’d get it and went to the door. when she got back, she was holding a bag of food.

“I think Dick sent you food,” she joked as she read the note, “oh yeah, it was 100% him,” she said as she showed you the note.

“can’t wait for tonight! your favorite from Scouts is inside of the boxes.”

“aw, how sweet of him!” your stylist said, “yeah, he’s one of a kind,” you said not realizing what you were saying. your mom could see the love for him in your eyes and swooned silently.

after your hair was done, you had basically devoured the food before your stylist got to work on your makeup. this time, it didn’t take as much time. by the time she finished, you had about an hour to put on your dress and do the finishing touches to your look before you had to leave.

the dress was short from the front as it got longer from the back. it kind of dragged but that was what made you fall in love with it in the first place. you pulled the dress from your closet and had your mom help you zip it up as she put on the necklace she wore the day of her winter formal on you.

“you look amazing sweety! let me take a few photos before we head out!”

you rolled your eyes playfully as you posed a few times. after you and her got into the car, you made your way to the manor. you had been there countless times and knew the gate code by memory by this point. you had messaged Dick that you were outside and saw him in the suit he was wearing.

“wow, you look gorgeous,” Dick whispered, taking you in. you tried to shake off the compliment but you couldn’t as both Alfred and your mom told you to hold still as they took photos. it wasn’t long after that Bruce came out, introducing himself to your mom and instantly making her swoon, “I’ll see you tonight,” she told you as she gave Dick a look, “take care of my daughter,” she stated, now more seriously.

Dick nodded nervously as Alfred led you into the dining room where the dinner was plated and ready to eat. it didn’t feel like a date as eating with Dick was not uncommon. this time, you both were just dressed extremely fancy.

Alfred had made you steak and the two of you basically downed it like starving caveman. you and Dick made sure that you didn’t stain yourselves as Alfred informed that the car was warmed up and ready to take you to the dance. Dick had excused himself to the bathroom as Bruce stood in front of you.

you gulped nervously as he basically towered over you, “please continue making my son happy,” was all he said before leaving back upstairs. you didn’t even get a chance to respond as Dick walked in and basically pulled you towards the car.

the formal was already going when the two of you arrived. you could hear the music blaring from outside and in order to get in, you had to pass the ‘paparazzi’ Gotham Academy set up. you two annoyingly took the photos that were being taken by people from the yearbook team and entered the auditorium.

you smiled at Dick as you both found a few of your mutual friends and sat down with them. the night was one you knew you weren’t going to forget as Dick had his arm around you the entire time. you could feel him squeezing your shoulder every time he noticed someone checking you out.

“I love this song!” you exclaimed, hearing ‘New Light’ by John Mayer playing, “wanna dance?” he asked. you instantly nodded and walked onto the dance floor.

“Oh I want a take two. I wanna break through. I wanna know the real thing about you so I can see you in a new light.”

the two of you danced, a bit closer than you intended but not that you were complaining.

song after song came and it wasn’t until you heard a beep going off when you realized what was happening. it was the teams communicator indicating that Kaldur wanted everyone at Mount Justice again. you sighed knowing if you didn’t answer, you’d probably get berated for skipping out.

secondly, you had told Kaldur unless it was an emergency, not to contact you so it must’ve been urgent if he was. you stared at Dick who was standing by the table, staring at something when you realized you had to break the news to him.

“hey Dick, there was an emergency at home and I need to leave like right now.” you felt tears pricking your eyes as you just wanted to tell the team to fuck off for ruining your night with Dick, “it’s okay! Bruce called me just now and said something happened to Alfred and I should head home,” he said.

you sighed in relief as you told him you hoped everything with Alfred was okay and you’d see him on Monday. it now had dawned on you that your spare uniform was inside of Mount Justice and you would have no time to get the one from your house.

the only thing you had on you was your domino mask which you knew would make due until you changed into your uniform. you found the nearest zeta tube and teleported to Mount Justice.

your hero name rang off through the telecom, catching everyone’s attention. you had slipped on your domino mask but your worst fear thus far came true. everyone was surrounding the zeta tube which you came from and saw your hair.

“wow, you look great,” Connor and Wally murmured to themselves. Kaldur slapped them in the head as he stared at your apologetically, “I know tonight was your night off but Rob isn’t here either and we both need you for this mission. some of the league is on their way and we need their approval before we go save the kids who are being held hostage,” Kaldur explained.

you heard Robin’s name ring through the lair as he ran in with urgency. you looked from Kaldur and stopped dead in your tracks when you saw him. it took Robin a few seconds to look at you but when he did, it was like he saw a ghost in front of him.

behind his sunglass and your domino mask, it was like a stare off. you felt like the wind was knocked out of you and held onto the table to catch your balance as Robin just stood in place.

“uh is something wrong?” Wally asked seeing your reactions. both you and Robin were stunned into silence as you didn’t know what to say. Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman’s name now rang through the lair as they entered the main floor.

they couldn’t help but wonder what was going on as a thick silence was hanging in the air. both Batman and Wonder Woman immediately realized the situation and looked at each other as they put two and two together. the two of you, unintentionally revealed your identities to each other, and Batman more than Wonder Woman knew the two of you were going to be together tonight but what he didn’t expect was that the two of you were going to the lair dressed in the outfits you both wore to the dance.

“Superman will accompany you on the trip. ( your hero name ) and Robin will stay back,” everyone looked at Batman as Wonder Woman nodded and grabbed you by the shoulder, Batman doing the same with Robin, “why? what happened?” Wally exclaimed.

“nothing that concerns you Flash, now follow Superman’s orders,” was all Batman said before taking you two into an empty room with Diana following behind you.

as soon as the door shut, you stared at Dick, his mask now off as you did the same. you didn’t know how to feel. your crush, your best friend, someone you loved dearly this entire time was also on the team and you had no idea what to do.

“so, as you can see we have a situation. both of you know each others identities and it’s best we keep it between each other. she now knows my real identity and will remain the only one who does know.”

Diana nodded, “the two of you now hold each others biggest secret and I think it’s best we both leave so you can talk it out,” she mentioned as she escorted Batman out of the room to leave you guys alone.

Dick stared at you as he tried to read your expression, “all this time we left each other for stupid reasons, we were meeting each other again, just in our different identities?” was what he said. you nodded, “were you ever going to tell me?” you whispered.

Dick walked up to you and held you close, “truthfully, when the time was right and with the bat’s approval, I was. everything I’ve ever said, tonight, the night we patrolled school together, everything! I meant it. you’re my best friend. you’re also someone I want to keep by my side together,” he finally confessed.

you stared up at Dick before doing the one thing you always wanted to do. you leaned up and kissed him deeply. he was completely taken back but kissed you back. your arms wrapped his neck as he brought you in even closer.

“wow, this was not how I expected the night to go,” you murmured against his lips, “for sure but I mean, we have the lair tonight and it’s completely empty. I want to give you that final dance of the night,” he said as he grabbed your hand and led you to the main floor again.

you stared at Dick and took his hand as he swayed you to the song you first danced back at the formal.

“take a ride up to Malibu, I just wanna sit and look at you, look at you. what would it matter if your friends knew? who cares what other people say anyway.”

#dc #DC imagines #dc imagine #young justice #young justice imagine #yj imagines #dick grayson #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x reader #robin imagine #robin x reader #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x y/n

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laryna6 · 3 years

Text

I’m not going to start posting Lichverse yet even though I finished the novel because there’s worldbuilding stuff that needs to be changed after the reveal that Igris’ species are born from fruits of the world tree instead of being creations of the Monarchs as per monsters (or maybe the creator made monsters to serve the monarchs but canon doesn’t say so I can have fun) and also while I HAVE figured out when to have Jin-Woo’s chest open so people can see he has two hearts I haven’t given up on working in the creepy cute aesthetic and other stuff I want to do earlier.

Also the reveal that in previous timelines Ashborn zombie apocalypse’d humanity (probably bc we were too squishy to survive being ground zero and he couldn’t protect us so he wanted to gather our souls before we got slaughtered more painfully by other monarchs’ armies and ceased to exist - also bc needed larger army to fight other monarchs and keep Antares from killing him and all his shadows with him) as soon as he took over his new host body. So it makes sense that the rulers would ask a human to find a human host and like Il-Hwan would agree - his family lives in a major city. In the case of shadow blitzkreig, they’re all gonna get turned into undead mind-controlled into adoring Ashborn, nothx. Also the Architect didn’t want to pick Jin-Woo, Ashborn insisted, in times where Jin-Woo wasn’t Like That the Architect would have gotten to pick and would have picked an asshole. So Il-Hwan goes looking for the stuff an asshole would have done to level up in a setting where what happens in a dungeon... and then the monster who has repeatedly slaughtered Il-Hwan’s species like cattle is using his son as a host body.

So yeah, Dad has been highkey Suffering.

But, anyway, here’s the current draft of the first chapter of lichverse. Warning for like, canon-typical stuff + also frottage.

Abandoned by everyone, about to be crushed like a bug…

It seemed as though the stone blade paused for a moment, but maybe it was his perception of time slowing down as his death approached.

It was finally over. His sister… mother! The pain would stop… but Mother would die, and Sister… Sister would have to scrabble like he had. A teenage girl?

He’d sold his body to keep his mother alive. Jin-ah…

As the blade crashed down he fell and was caught. Was cradled.

Darkness… a soothing, cool darkness. No more pain, no more fear. But still… warm. This darkness didn’t have a beating heart, but still…

Jin-woo knew the heart of someone who had lost too much, far too much, and would do anything to protect the precious little they had left. He saw someone like that in the mirror, when he couldn’t avoid it.

This person… would never hurt him. Never let him be hurt. He was safe.

“Return to me,” he heard a voice he knew calling for him, and he knew he would always answer.

A black-armored figure before him, flickering with black and purple light. Too large to be human. A monster. A monster and still when Jin-woo found himself on his feet he took a step towards him gladly, eagerly. A step and another. This feeling… like when his Mom or Dad came home and called his name and he ran to them, happy to see them.

He stopped when he had to crane his head back almost painfully far to meet those glowing eyes – an undead – he was an undead…? And saw the concern in them. For him, for a weakling, for nothing, and he knew he was safe. He’d been so scared, everyone had left him to die alone. But someone… someone came. Someone saved him. The relief sent him to his knees as the last of the stress that had kept him on his feet for so long left him.

Slumping even further forward, he bowed his head and pressed against those armored legs. He trembled, the pain and fear he’d had to suppress for so long escaping his body. Day after day, knowing he was already far, far past his estimated life expectancy. Knowing he was going to die and it was going to hurt, and even if he lived he was going to hurt but he had no choice. There had been no choices since Mom was taken from them too.

And that great figure knelt and put a hand on his head.

That mana… it was terrifyingly powerful, but he knew why it didn’t terrify him. Something he’d tried not to think about for years: the moment he’d awakened, feeling mana, power all around him. Power that dwarfed his, could crush him. But it had never even occurred to him to feel fear, because this was his father. Of course his father was the strongest! Of course he would save everyone!

Instead he’d been so happy, running to his dad and saying he could be a hunter now! Like him! They could beat the bad guys together! And his Dad had patted him on the head and said, “Sorry, but you have to wait until you’re a little older before you can fight anything, and by that time I’ll have already beaten the bad guys that are making the gates appear. So you’ll never have to fight.”

“I won’t get to fight?” he’d asked, disappointed.

“Sorry,” his dad said, patting his head apologetically, but not sorry at all.

His dad… they hadn’t invented the measuring technology until a year after he vanished, so Jin-woo didn’t know how strong he was. It wasn’t until Mother was spending long enough asleep that Jin-woo could go get measured after school that he found out why his dad had fought so hard to keep him from ever having to hunt. He’d been proud of his Dad, believed he would have been an s-class, but… would an s-class really have had such a worthless son? But the mana in his memory, it was so much stronger than the a-class he’d seen once.

His father… His dad really was… tears fell from his eyes, and that hand remained to steady him, that mana still cradled him, as pathetic as he was.

He didn’t know how long he cried there, with loss and pain and fear and gratitude. No one… no one since Mother would have held him as he cried. He couldn’t burden Jin-ah or a stranger like that. If someone reported he wasn’t able to provide for Jin-ah…

That made him open his eyes. “Jin-ah…” he said, a plea. Part of him knowing that this person – monster – would understand how precious she was, how he couldn’t bear to fail her.

“You can return to her,” a deep voice promised him. That… the monster language. Was he still speaking Korean?

“Monsters attack humans,” he said, looking down at his hands, how they flickered with darkness too.

“Because they’re controlled by the Ruler’s crystals… but even without them the subjects of most Monarchs would see your kind as resources to exploit.”

Food.

That hand withdrew and the glowing figure shrunk until he met his own eyes, heard his own voice – speaking Korean this time. “You don’t need to be afraid. You know you will never hurt your sister. Or any of those you love.”

“I won’t hurt her?” he asked again, craving reassurance like a child. Like a weakling (the weakest of the weak).

“Never,” he was promised again, without a trace of irritation at having to repeat himself in his voice.

“I shouldn’t believe you.” Shouldn’t take that risk, with Jin-ah.

“Believe yourself.” This time he was scolded a little. “You went out there to die for her, over and over. You would never hurt her.”

It meant nothing that he went to hunt because it really didn’t do anything… he’d fail her eventually, and then she’d… “I failed her.”

“That was…” the other him – monster – the one who cared for him sighed. “That was my fault. I watched you, and how hard you fought to protect them, the wounds you bore… There was someone I wanted to protect. I fought knowing I would fail them, and yet… but you haven’t failed those you love. I am here because of all your struggle, all your pain and sacrifice.” A bottle appeared, was pressed into his hands. “I watched, I saw you, earn this a thousand times over. With this, you can cure your mother.”

Jin-woo drew in a breath, looking up with startled hope. The other him nodded, and he felt the promise. “You won’t have to be afraid anymore. You’re one of mine now. A human would have to gradually adjust to higher mana levels, but as a shadow I can fill you with my power. That wasn’t…” he sighed. “I was going to possess you, but when the Architect began to cast the curse meant to bring about your death, I couldn’t let him. …but I didn’t have enough of a foothold in that dimension to keep the stone from crushing you.” He scowled at himself. “I should have waited until you were safe, then killed the Architect and undone his curse. I have not done right by you. I’m sorry. You deserve better than than what happened to you. The least I owe you is making sure you can return to your life and your loved ones.”

Jin-woo’s eyes widened. An apology? An admission of fault? A being even stronger than his father, lowering itself to apologize to him? A nothing? The weakest of the weak?

Why? Who could force him to do it? Even S-ranks were beyond the law. He didn’t gain anything from it: his power could crush Jin-woo so easily, and if he could shape-shift then he could take Jin-woo’s place as he’d said he’d planned or maybe send another undead?

His hands curled around the bottle, pulling it to his chest as he began to believe it was real. Because the only reason he could see for this monster to apologize was if, if he really did think that Jin-woo deserved better. And if he deserved anything, then his mother deserved to wake, to live.

“The dungeon will close with the Architect dead. You need to return there and escape, or it will take some time for me to get another foothold in the human world and transport you there. My br-the Rulers are doing their best to shield it.”

He had to hurry. His mother… if it took too long they would take her off life support, and for her to die now, because he didn’t bring her the cure in time…

His mirror image nodded. “Go.”

That mana curled around him, bore him elsewhere, and he heard stone groan and topple to the ground a moment before he opened his eyes to find himself on the altar. Oh no, his foot…

His leg was still there!

…Why was he so surprised by that, when his entire body had been crushed, and yet here he was, intact even if he flickered with black and purple. He started to push himself up so he could get off the altar only for the altar to crumble beneath his palm. He stared down at it.

“…Ah. Humans wield strength only through channeling mana, but as a shadow the strength I’ve given you is yours. Until you can learn to control it, there are artifacts that seal all but a fraction of someone’s power, for negotiations. If I give you a few of them… and I know the curse the Architect designed, perhaps I can modify it…”

A window, like on a computer screen? Appeared before Jin-woo, then changed to show equipment? He felt weight after weight settle on him, then become as light as a feather, as thought it had vanished entirely.”

“The closest I can come is still half again as strong as you were before.”

He was stronger than before and this person was apologizing for it? At any time that thought would have stunned him, but how people treated him didn’t matter, not next to what he held in his hands. “That’ll only make me faster,” JIn-woo said, desperate to go.

The window swung out of his way and he jumped down off the altar. Out of the corner of his eye he saw it change once, then again. A bunch of squares. Inventory, it said? Two rows of those squares filled up with a graphic of.. he looked down. The same bottle he held. And in the lower right corner of the image of that bottle? x999

Was that… a thousand of these bottles per square? A potion that could cure Eternal Slumber? They, they’d be rich! He’d never have to run a dungeon again!

“With your power sealed like this, you’re vulnerable. I’ll send you Igris.” He felt another flare of mana, and a red-armored figure kept pace with him easily. “He has been my right hand since long before I became the Shadow Monarch.”

That feeling… Like Jin-ah. ‘One of the few precious people I have left.’

“He will protect you as if you were me.” Jin-woo turned his head to see an image of his mirror image running beside him. The other nodded to Ignes, who nodded in return.

Next to the other Jin-woo saw the status window. His status window. “So I am an undead… You can bring back the dead?” he realized belatedly. “My, my father…”

“He’s not dead,” the other told him. “He was the vessel of one of the fragments of brilliant light, he wouldn’t have died within a space they control unless there was a monarch there, and I’m keeping track of all of them.”

Jin-woo froze, skidded to a halt. “He’s not…” He trembled. His mother, enough money to secure Jin-ah’s future, even… even his father…

“I will try to find him, but I can’t promise anything.”

Jin-woo shook his head quickly before the other could apologize. Even a chance his father could come home, that he, his mother could see him again! “Yours,” he swore. “I’m yours.” Anything, for this. He sold his life and death and pain over and over just to buy time. To have, to have his family… His soul wasn’t enough. He could never repay this.

Was this why a part of him had felt nothing but devotion towards the other as soon as he fell into has grasp? Had he sensed this in the mana? Or not even this, just… the kindness that made someone willing to give him so much, to give a nothing like him…

“You are not nothing,” the other him insisted as Jin-woo fell to his knees, his gratitude overwhelming him again. “Igris.”

Igris scooped him up easily as breathing, and practically flew to the dungeon exit, carefully placing him on his feet, steadying him the way the other and holding him up when Jin-woo tried to go to his knees again.

“You do not kneel before me,” the other told him. “You never have to kneel before me.”

“But…” but then what could he give? What could he offer? He looked at him with desperation.

“I need you,” he was promised. “I need for your will to protect your family. But I’ll explain later. You should be with your family now.” The other him – the one who felt the same desperate wish to protect – looked down at Jin-woo’s shadow and it filled with hundreds of eyes. “You and your sister should get to see your crea- Your mother again. That’s… You should get to have that.”

And Jin-woo knew that the other would never get to have that, never again.

“You won’t fail them,” his other promised him, forceful and desperate and yearning, and Jin-woo heard you won’t fail them the way I did. “We can talk later, there’s time. Take him home, Igris.”

And giant arms held Jin-woo tight until he found himself in front of his apartment door.

He scrambled for his keys, turned them, flung the door open – half again as strong – “Jin-ah!”

“Jin-woo?” he heard her throw herself out of bed, scramble for her bedroom door and through the living room. “JIn-woo? Are you okay?” she asked him.

That wasn’t important. “Mom,” he said, holding open his arms. “Igris, can you take us both?” Red darkness tried to rise from his shadow but the hall was too small and Igris was forced to appear outside. “I found something that can cure Mom.”

Jin-ah stared at him, mouth slipping open as if to ask him if he was serious but he would never say that unless he was. When she could move, she flung herself at him. As a hunter he could already lift her easily, but it wasn’t just his strength that made everything feel so light right now. “Igris… do you know where she is?”

The red-armored giant shook his head.

“I can give you directions.” He went out the door and Igris lifted them both as if they weighed nothing.

“is he a summon?” Jin-ah asked, breathless. “A healer’s summon? Are they going to cure Mom?”

“That way.” A blur, and when Igris was still again, Jin-woo said, “Sort of? I don’t know how to explain, I want to get to Mom. That way.”

Jin-ah didn’t interrupt again, vibrating with eagerness. She didn’t want to make this take any extra time either.

“That window, there,” JIn-woo said when they were outside of the hospital. Igris sat them down, swept his cloak over them and there they were, in the room.

Jin-woo lifted up the bottle to look at it and a window with a description and directions appeared next to it. She just had to drink the entire bottle? That easy? They were that close? He dodged around Jin-ah to get to the bed, then stopped, forced himself to go slow, to open her mouth carefully. He was stronger than before. He couldn’t hurt her, not like this. Not when they were this close.

A progress bar. Lists of ailments – muscular atrophy, eternal sleep… And everything finished counting down as Jin-ah shook him and asked, “Is it working? Is it working?”

And then she opened her eyes. “Jin-woo…” A moment more, an intake of breath, “Jin-ah?” he saw his mother realize how long it must have been. “Then…” He saw her look past them. He knew who she looked for, who she had watched for for so long.

“He’s alive,” he told her. “He’s alive and I’ll bring him home, I promise.” He could make a promise like that, as weak and pathetic as he was, because he had help.

He saw her look at him and frown, the way she’d frowned when she found out he was doing dungeons. The, ‘Are you kidding me? I’m an adult, we take care of things. Your job is to stay safe and study.’

Study… those potions, they had money, he wouldn’t have to do low-level dungeon runs.

His other self needed him for something and Jin-woo would make it happen no matter what, do anything for the person who gave him this. But… tomorrow wouldn’t be like today. Tomorrow his mother would be home.

A nurse finally arrived, her head downcast and shoulders slumped, and he saw her look up, then stare when she saw his Mother sitting up instead of lying there dead. “I found potions in a dungeon,” Jin-woo told her to forestall questions. “I’ll give you five of them if you let us leave, now.”

“My clothes…?” Mom asked the nurse.

The nurse blinked, “Ah, we returned your clothes to your family…” Because they’d known she was never leaving that bed.

And Jin-woo hadn’t brought anything. He went to the window, yanked it open, jumped out. “Igris?” he asked, then hesitated. He’d just ordered around something – someone – so powerful? Was that really okay? But Igris appeared and swept his cloak over Jin-woo again, and Jin-woo found himself in the entryway at home.

He’d forgotten to even close the door, let alone lock it. Clothes! Right, his mom’s clothes! He threw some of everything into a bag, then ran out and looked up at Igris hopefully. “Thank you,” he said as the cloak swept over him again, putting him in the hospital room.

The fact he’d screwed up by forgetting clothes for his Mom… That was, that was the kind of thing that happened in real life. This was, this was real. He dumped the bag out on Mom’s bed, throwing the clothes down hard enough to make the mattress bounce a little. “Sorry,” he said, but found himself grinning. He hadn’t… He hadn’t failed them

They were okay.

He…

Anything.

He’d do anything for them. For this. Maybe he’d been turned into a monster, maybe he was going to be used to kill humans, but who cared as long as Jin-ah and Mom were okay?

He wanted the inventory screen open and it was. Reached and pulled five bottles out, one after another, as the nurse pulled over a curtain so Mom could get dressed.

“They just have to drink it all, every drop,” he told the nurse. “That’s it.”

“Potions are a thing now?” his Mom asked from behind the curtain.

Questions.

Oh shit.

Um.

He did not give a damn what was up with the other him or exactly how dead he was or anything like that, but he could not tell Mom that he died. He was not going to do that to her.

“I think Jin-woo reawakened and he’s a spatial mage now, Mom,” Jin-ah said helpfully. “Pulling those out of thin air is spatial magic, and he’s got a summon that can teleport us.”

She didn’t mention the flickering black and purple at all? Not that Jin-woo was going to bring up anything else he’d have to explain! It seemed ungrateful to claim that Igris was his summon, take credit for everything the other him had done, but it was better than making them worry.

The mana that was in Jin-woo now wasn’t his, but it felt like it could have been his, because the feelings in it… they were all feelings he knew. A lot of them too well. Someone so powerful wasn’t ‘another him,’ but… there were things that were the same. They were akin? Kind of like family.

So he said, “Igris can take us home.” They could be home, instead of having to wait torturous minutes on the subway. For him and Jin-ah it had been too long since Mom had been home. He needed to see her there, and then he’d be able to believe a little more that this was real.

But it helped, when she came out from behind the curtain. It helped so much when she wrapped her arms around him.

When they were home at last one of them wanted to go to sleep. Jin-woo desperately didn’t want his mom to go to sleep, but eventually she told them to get to bed and they went.

Shit. Did he have a bedtime again? He wouldn’t have to ride on public transit out to gates?

…when had he last gotten eight straight hours of sleep?

He’d been trying not to think about it. But he’d known. That he was wearing thinner and thinner. That it was only his youth letting him get away with how hard he was pushing himself. That he couldn’t keep this up forever.

…He lay down in bed and realized he didn’t feel tired at all.

…Did he need to sleep anymore? Mom had fed them, so he knew he could eat, but did he need to? He raised his hand to look at it. How energy flickered around it, but the hand itself didn’t flicker, as though he was solid or real or alive.

Thank goodness he still had body heat, or Mom and Jin-ah would have noticed when they hugged him.

…when had he last been hugged?

He wanted the menu thing open again. The status page. Sung Jin-woo the Enduring. General-class Shadow, Lvl. Max.

Shadow, was that what he was? Igris had appeared out of and vanished into his shadow sometimes, he recalled. ‘General…’ was… so he would need to fight. Something about protecting humans? If that wasn’t a lie.

He knew it wasn’t a lie. His hand went to his heart.

But he wasn’t an idiot, and things too good to be true… There had to be a catch somewhere. The fact he was so certain, the way he loved the other him the way he’d only loved Jin-ah, his mother and his father… He didn’t trust people like this. They knew he was worthless (he was worthless), so they treated him like that and he knew they were going to treat him that way.

But… someone who hadn’t wanted him to die… like his father had wanted to protect him, like his mother had wanted to take care of him, like Jin-ah had decided to be a doctor because she wanted to get better at patching him up… Someone who apologized to him like he was worth apologizing to.

The way his mom had apologized to him for being gone so long, for putting so much on his shoulders. She told him he was strong, was amazing, for bearing it, for doing so well.

In his status screen. ‘The Enduring,’ like he was worthy of a title, of anything.

The other him was something from the gates. That meant a monster. An enemy of humanity. But the more he thought about it, the more certain he became that he could trust him. Like family.

Jin-woo frowned.

…No, Dad would absolutely not have had a kid with a monster or something. He felt like he needed to say sorry even for thinking that.

“Igris?” he asked, and the knight appeared, sitting next to his bed in order to fit in his bedroom. “How do I talk to him again? Should I go inside a gate?”

Igris shook his head and raised his cloak again, tilting his head questioningly.

Jin-woo got into a sitting position and nodded. “Thanks, Igris.”

Instead of tensing up he relaxed when he found himself in the darkness, surrounded by the other him’s power. When he saw him. “Thank you,” he said. “I can’t ever thank you enough.”

The other him shook his head. “I’m glad you could have that. Your family, safe for now. I’m glad I was able to help bring it about. There’s still someone missing. I’m limited in what I can do without revealing I’m active. I’m sure the Rulers know since they’ve been using the blood they shed to time-travel, but the monarchs… The Architect was still willing to work with me, but the instant they realize I won’t help them loot your world they’ll go back to trying to make me stay dead.”

“Can they?” Sung Jin-woo asked, eyes widening. Could he lose this person? He couldn’t… to have a chance at having everyone home, and then lose the person who made it possible…

“No power is limitless. Even that of our creator.” The other him touched his replica of Jin-woo’s chest.

“…Do you have a name?” Jin-woo asked, to change the subject. Even if it sounded like he’d need to know about that eventually, he didn’t want the other him to have to try to explain it when there was so much Jin-woo didn’t know that an explanation wouldn’t help when he didn’t have the context for it.

“Ashborn, now. The Monarch of Shadows.”

“So I’m a shadow, and my class is General?”

“Not a class, but a rank.” Ashborn was silent a moment and then said, as though confessing. “Igris’ counterpart was trapped inside a barrier in the last battle. She couldn’t return to my shadow when her body was destroyed and her mana was torn apart. Unless you’re trapped in such a barrier, I’ll be able to bring you back no how many times your new bodies are destroyed. I sent Igris with you in case one of the humans hosting the power of the rulers finds you and realizes you’re mine. He can summon himself, but I must teach you how to quickly remove the limiters reducing your power and call your forces from your shadow.” He waved at the eyes gazing up at Jin-woo from his shadow. Or what pretended to be a normal shadow. “Once you know that much, it should be safe to let you return to the human world. For now. Once you have a serviceable knowledge of necromancy, Igris will teach you to dodge-tank, and after that you can choose your own combat training.”

“So I’ll be fighting?” Jin-woo asked.

“I’m sorry,” Ashborn said, as though that was anything to apologize for. “You will be attacked by all sides for being one of mine.”

And Jin-woo felt Ashborn’s pain in his mana, the pain of an old wound. How many of his had Ashborn lost…?

“But you’re good at surviving,” Ashborn told him, rallying. “I hope… Humans are so peaceful.”

There was soft longing in Ashborn’s voice, so Jin-woo didn’t say anything like, ‘what planet are you from?’ Jin-woo had attended that much school. Even before the gates, humans had huge wars and shit. But if idealizing humanity gave him something to hope for, then Jin-woo wasn’t going to burst his bubble.

“Compared to us,” Ashborn added, and Jin-woo realized that Ashborn’s mana was flowing through him and back into Ashborn. Right. So Ashborn would know his emotions too. “You hope that Jin-ah will never have to fight, not even to defend herself. The fact that you consider this a possibility… But I will show you how to assign her bodyguards.”

Trying to find out what exactly Ashborn wanted from him so he could deliver it on a silver platter could happen later. Protecting Jin-ah? He needed to know how to do that now.

“I will send an army with you, and show you how to summon them. If they are killed, they can be revived again and again, as long as you have mana. Let me give you this, to be sure you won’t be left unprotected.” A still beating black heart appeared in Ashborn’s hands, bleeding white flames.

He stepped forward. He’d had his ribs cut open before. For Mom, for Jin-Ah. Ashborn could do whatever he wanted to Jin-Woo, and he’d just be grateful he could be useful to the person who saved him. Who chose him.

But those hands and the heart just passed through his chest like a ghost’s, and there was no pain, just warmth in his body like drinking a hot cup of coffee on a cold night, and Ashborn’s mana flooding into him now that he could hold so much more of it. “Ah… Ah…” he gasped for breath, feeling that care melt him away, filling him so full it felt like he couldn’t take anymore and then something in him gave way – opened, and he jerked, head flung back, and panted even harder when there was more, the warmth in his chest and the butterflies in his stomach sparking heat that drove him to take a stumbling step forward. Seeking Ashborn, needing him. So amazed at arms around him, someone holding him up, helping him stand and he needed Ashborn. He’d needed someone, so desperate for so long, knowing no one cared but Jin-Ah and he’d die to keep her from having to bear this.

He craved Ashborn desperately, two hearts pounding in his chest loud enough to drown out all other sound.

For so long he’d felt so empty, so numb to everything but the pain of survival and dread of the inevitable, but now he was full, full of love and he wanted, wanted more, wanted to drink down more of what Ashborn gave him and drown in it, drown in him. He pressed against him, panting against his lips, moving his hips as he tried to bury himself inside the body that matched his – Ashborn thought he was pretty enough for it to be worth wearing that face himself, even if Jin-Woo didn’t have the money for plastic surgery and that was one more reason it was impossible to find a job that paid well enough to replace hunting.

Fire filled his veins and only Ashborn could quench it, and his liege held Jin-woo, warm arms around him, warm body against him, giving him everything he needed, letting him have everything he wanted, and more.

More and more, and then without warning white fire burned everything away.

When it receded, Ashborn was still holding him in his arms. “I could feel that you were alright, but you sounded like you were in pain.”

“It was good…” he moaned, hips jerking again, and then horror tried to penetrate through the warm lassitude. Had he just, just rubbed himself off against, against… the one he owed everything?! “I’m sorry!”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who should apologize. I knew Baran conceived when his battle-lust reached its peak, I just didn’t realize that the pounding of his heart was connected.”

“Con- con-“

“The Monarchs and Rulers were made capable of bringing forth armies. I… After… I am no longer capable of that. All I can do is preserve what’s left of my children, and shelter the fallen children of others.”

“Am I….?!!” A terrified shriek escaped Jun-Woo.

“I thought your body wasn’t the type that created children?” Ashborn looked down at where their bodies were joined. “Your mother and Jin-Ah are the same type and you’re a different type, yes? Or was it your Dad who created the children and that’s why no more workers were produced to help support the hive after he left?”

“I’m an undead now, so, um…” He buried his head in his hands, feeling really stupid, and in front of Ashborn. He wanted to die. Again.

But Ashborn still held him, Ashborn’s affection and admiration for him still poured through him.

“I’m sorry,” he said though.

“I think it’s admirable, how dedicated you are to taking care of your family. Of course you would want to be sure you hadn’t created a child when you’re still learning to control your own strength and might not be able to protect them.”

Like when people assumed he was some kind of thrill-seeking idiot, Jin-Woo thought ‘I could explain, but I don’t want to have that conversation,” and kept his mouth shut.

#solo leveling #all of the fanfic #content warning #lichfic

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aftgficlibrary · 3 years

Note

Are there any AUs where renison or lailalverez is the main pairing?

there are quite a few but here you go -maz

renison:

Before All I Heard Was Silence by moonqueerdom (T | 7,430 | 1/1)

Allison's eyes widened and her face burned immediately, spreading to her neck and the tips of her ears. "Oh my gosh, Renee," she lowered her face and covered it with her hands.

Renee chuckled. "She is beautiful when she blushes, ok noted."

"Oh my gosh, Walker, stop that," Allison's voice was too wobbly and high-pitched even for her own ears, and there was a grin threatening to pop on her lips.

About to disappear in the afterlife, Allison Reynolds meets Renee Walker, who was ready to change her life even after death.

Last Café by uberimmortal (M | 4,802 | 1/1)

Like every weekend for the past year, Renee finds herself on a Saturday morning in front of the Last Cafe. She takes a deep breath, key still in her hand, shivering from the autumn breeze as she tries to muster up some energy to open the door. The sun is just beginning to poke over the horizon, lighting up the city in a blue haze, not close enough to this side of the earth to provide any real warmth. One by one street lamps flicker until they turn off completely.

The Gracekeepers by wishbonetea (M | 112,116 | 20/20)

The sea has flooded the earth. Allison lives on a circus boat, floating between the scattered islands that remain and trading dazzling and death-defying feats for food from the islanders. Renee lives alone in a lighthouse in the middle of the ocean, with only the birds and fish for company. As penance for her past, she works as a gracekeeper, tending the graves of those who die at sea. A storm brings them together, but under clear skies they must part. When one of the Foxes goes missing, Renee joins to help. It’s meant to be a temporary escape, but Allison might be a reason to stay.

⁂

An AU of Kirsty Logan's The Gracekeepers.

she's got lips like wine not sugar by IzzyAguecheek (Not Rated | 8,561 | 1/1)

The coffee shop was mostly empty the first time Allison came in. It was too early for most people, specially on a Sunday, when most people didn’t have work and therefore didn’t need to stop by to grab a coffee to wake up. Allison, however, didn’t strike Renee as the type of girl to drink coffee before a shift at some boring company. She looked more like someone who had stayed up all night and now was trying to fight off a hangover with caffeine.

Dan was late, per usual, so Renee and Andrew were the only employees working. Andrew took one look at the car parked outside, right in front of the window, and firmly turned his back on the girl sitting at the corner booth.

“You take that one”, he decided.

(or: Renee works at a coffee shop, and, when Allison becomes a regular there, she is absolutely in love. It's just a Renison Coffee Shop AU.)

counting my blessings by quensty (T | 10,354 | 1/1)

The last letter is from Wymack.

Allison, it says. Forest Falls, California, has been having problems with a robber. Dan and Matt are too far, and Neil and Andrew are already working a job in Nevada. Get on it. -DW

“Motherfucker,” Allison says.

Real Gravity by loose_canon (T | 1,723 | 1/1)

RECORDED 04:08, PILGRIMAGE YEAR 1584 DAY 29

[begin message]

Hey, Mom. You’re probably watching this and thinking about how much you want to kick my ass right now. Well, my butt, because you don’t say words like “ass,” much less think them. Anyway, I know you’re mad at me. I’m the ungrateful daughter who hijacked an emergency pod and zipped off into space in the middle of the eclipse service like a dumbass—sorry, dumbbutt—with another girl because I just had to go and open myself to the spirit of lesbianism. I’m not gonna lie, I’m mad just like you are. Part of me wants to just say that the spirit is a good fucking time and be on my way. But I need you need to know that I’m losing something, too.

A sci-fi one shot: Allison leaves a final message for her mother after she and Renee escape the generation ship they grew up on.

On Dragon's Wings (Under the Blue) by tinystreetlamp (T | 8,417 | 3/3)

For hundreds of years the six kingdoms coexisted in peace due to a magical contract that prevents violence between them. Ever since Allison's brother Jean was kidnapped by Riko she has wanted to lead her armies to war against the Island of Night, but the contract prevents her from doing so. When crown prince Nathaniel arrives and asks for sanctuary, Allison sees her chance to unite four of the kingdoms against Riko and rain down her vengeance upon him.

(How to seduce a pirate: drag her underwater unexpectedly)

/Graphic Depictions of Violence

vengeance and death by cthulu_sun (M | 2,446 | 1/1)

legend says you have wax-dipped wings and golden fingernails and knives made of the blood you have spilled. legend says you are not merciful.

in which renee is a tired guardian angel, finds the foxes, and falls in love.

a hundred jewels on throats by ghvsts (T | 3,226 | 1/1)

"have you seen the goddess from the seafoam," they whisper, "she is more beautiful than anything."

(in which seth is ares, renee is persephone, and allison has had enough)

fabrication of a grand scheme by cloudghost (T | 13,787 | 1/1)

Renee was silent for a while. Then, finally, she said, “I want to try going outside.”

“I thought you were scared.”

She hummed her assent. “That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it.”

Since that was basically the philosophy Allison lived by, she nodded. Renee turned back around and met Allison’s gaze. In that moment, Renee looked unbreakable and unshakeable, like nothing that ended up in her way could ever stop her for long. Allison shivered.

Love You a Latte by ceilingfan5 (G | 8,465 | 1/1)

Allison's favorite barista is adorable Renee, so when she gets the news that she has to go on a terrible family vacation and bring an "appropriate plus-one", she decides to finally get herself uninvited from the rest of those events for all eternity. She and Renee go together, pretending to be a very much in love couple, stir shit up, and leave a lot closer than they ever expected. (Obviously they fall in love.) Allison may say "I decided love was fake a long time ago and it’d take a miracle to change my mind now,” but if anyone can be a miracle worker, it's Renee.

say you'll never harden to the world by orphan_account (T | 10,300 | 1/1)

Of course it’s when the knife finally doesn’t feel awkward in her hand anymore that Allison shows up.

Instead of the relaxed way she usually holds her wings, they’re pulled taut behind her back. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest and there’s a decidedly not pleased look on her face.

“Hey,” Natalie says, not interrupting the sequence of stabbing moves she’s been practicing. She has no time for the way seeing Allison makes her feel.

Safe – a joke. Not alone – Allison might not even be real. Cared about – impossible.

Those kinds of emotions aren’t meant for someone like her in the first place, and she’s not going to indulge them.

give me shelter or show me heart by hondayota (Not Rated | 4,720 | 3/3)

Renee had always thought of hope as a feeling, something she scraped out of her insides when she had nothing else to hold onto, but over the past months, hope had ceased to be a feeling and had become synonymous with Allison Reynolds.

the renison zombie au no one asked for

renee and allison are hella gay even when there's zombies

laila/alvarez:

It's Called Fashion Hunty. Look it up. by theKristastrophe (T | 15,440 | 8/8)

Sara works for a company that she doesn't hate but doesn't love either. So she sits at the bar with her two other best friends and tries to get through the work week.

When a fresh lawyer stumbles into thier weekly Rant Club, Sara knows she's in for a wild ride.

Featuring gratious eyerolling, snark, and everyone's favorite Foxes.

Buckle up kiddies. It's time to Sashay, Sashay, Sashay...

Come Close by tinystreetlamp (T | 10,932 | 1/1)

Sometime around 200 BC in Ancient Greece, in a world where the greek gods are real, Laila is a warrior from Sparta. During her first visit to Athens she meets not only Jeremy of Troy but also falls head over heels in love with Sara, a daughter of Apollo and local poet. But Sara is cursed, and soon the three cross the Mediterranean on a quest to break the curse and save Sara.

Sara means Sun by tinystreetlamp (M | 27,739 | 8/8)

Five years ago, ships with black and red sails appeared on the horizon and wiped out all of the royal family - except one. The Raven King conquered Coralia and is doing everything he can to stay in power. Jeremy of Troia, the rightful heir to his kingdom, has been in hiding for the past five years, but he found something worth fighting for.

Laila, an Elven Warrior and Jeremy's best friend, will do anything to protect him. Meeting a cute stranger isn't going to change that.

/Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death

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st4rship · 3 years

Note

I absolutely LOVED your Carlisle story so I thought I’d request one myself. Could you write one where the reader is human but she’s friends with the Cullens and she knows about their secret. Her and Carlisle have a TON of romantic tension but the only one who really knows about their feelings is Edward bc he can reader their minds. Can you also include Carlisle initiating the first kiss. I adore your writing btw🥺

Helloo, I'm so glad you loved it, I try my best writing. I LOVE THIS REQUESTS OKAY AAA. I want to clear some things, the reader is gonna be in her last year of high school and is gonna be 18 okay? okay. Also the tittle is inspired by the song "Stacy's mom" obviously. Idk how much I succeeded with the whole romantic tension thing and with this request in general but I really liked it so I hope you liked it too. ✨🥺

Alice's dad.

Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x Human!Reader.

Summary: The reader moves to forks and becomes friends with the cullens rather quickly but what will happen when the father of the cullens ends up catching the reader eyes.

After you 18th birthday, your parents told you that they have to move. You really didn't want to, it was your last year of high school and you didn't want to spend it being the new girl in some city you didn't even like. You argued with them that you could stay but you didn't have any money and there wasn't any way you could make enough money to live alone in such short time.

You moved to forks, you didn't really like it in the beginning but your parents insisted that you have to give it a try. And you did just because you didn't really have another choice.

Your new high school was kinda bored, some people was surprised that there was a new student in last year. Others students didn't even care about you and you low key preferred it that way.

But there was some students that tried to be more kind to you, a good exampled would be the cullens. Alice and Emmett especially. You shared some classes with them and Alice was the first one you met.

You and Alice had history together and you have to make a project with a classmate, she knew you were new and didn't want you to be left out so she asked to be your partner to the project and you obviously accepted. She was really friendly and fun to be around. Later on she presented you to her siblings.

She told you that they were all adopted and some of them were dating, you find it kinda weird but didn't question it.

Later that day you have chemistry and you found out you shared that class with Emmett and you both paired up. And ended up being chaotic, let's just say that some things exploded and you burn your hand but didn't told anyone cause "it wasn't that big".

After classes, Alice told you to go to their house with them so you could do the project and you accepted and told your parents that you were going to a friend's house for a project.

The cullens mansion house was huge and really beautiful. You all entered the house and Alice presented you to her father. A handsome men in probably his twentys, it surprised you that someone so young and beautiful already had children who were your age.

—Nice to meet you. — He said kindly and took your hand to shake it. You obviously give it to him with a smile but you forgot that you have burned it "a little" before.

You let out a little whining when you felt his cold hand touched the burned part of your warmer hand. He rapidly let go your hand and took your wrist instead to look at what make you feel the pain.

— How did you burn your hand like this? — He said looking at you with worry in his eyes. It probably shouldn't have made you blush because he was probably just being kind but it make you blush anyway.

— It was an accident in chemistry, it's nothing really, I'm gonna be okey don't worry. — You said nervously by having his beautiful eyes on you.

—I insist. Come with me, I have the things to help you heal in my office. — He said and you could feel your cheeks getting more warm. Before doing anything you looked at you friends, Alice held a smile of worry but trying to be comfortable for you to don't be so nervous. The rest of them were like her in majority, except for Edward who looked at you and Carlisle with a little smirk in his face, like he knew something the rest didn't.

Carlisle hold your healthy hand in his and headed to his office. You grew more nervous but also low key excited to be alone with him. You feel as if nothing bad could happen to you if you were with him.

Once you entered his office he told you to sit down on his desk so he could heal you comfortably. You did as he told you and he took some cream and bandages before coming back to stand in front of you.

—Did you move to forks recently? Alice never talked about you before, I'm sure I wouldn't forget you. — He said, your heart give a flutter and your eyes shoot to look at him but feeling a wide smile grew in your face you looked back to your hand.

— Yes, my parents decided to move for something about work, I really didn't want to at the begging but now, I think it wasn't a bad thing after all. — You said nervously looking at him as the last sentence left your mouth.

Your eyes couldn't help to watch carefully his face, it was almost hypnotizing, your eyes analyzed his whole face and stopped at his lips staring for some seconds. Once you looked at this eyes again he was looking at you with dark eyes, you could swear they were more golden a second ago.

He endend putting the bandage in your hand and you looked at it with a greatful smile on your face. — Thank you Carlisle. — You said nervously looking at him shyly. His eyes were still kinda dark and were now fixated in your lips. You couldn't help but look at his lips too.

He noticed this and without really thinking what was he doing, he put his hand in the side of your face carefully and approached you more almost closing the space between the two of you. — Can I? — A part of you didn't believe this was even happening but you wouldn't reject him.

You nodded slowly as a response and after that he closed the space between your lips kissing you. It was the best someone ever give to you. You weren't expecting any of this to happen but maybe this was proof that moving to forks was actually a good idea.

#carlisle x you #carlisle cullen x reader #carlisle cullen x you #carlisle cullen #twilight carlisle #twilight one shot #twilight imagine #twilight renaissance

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tenkoscumslut · 3 years

Text

bakugou x reader (angst + fluff +angst)

so um this is based of off Heather bc im in my feels

I also don’t ship Uraraka and Bakugou, but in this they are together

enoy~

You had the biggest crush on your classmate Bakugou Katsuki, he was perfect in your eyes, his hair, his eyes, his personality, and that possessiveness he carries around.

That night, the 3rd of december, he had pushed you into a pond drenching your newly bought sweater, “BAKKKAAAA!!!”, you whined and sat up in the pond. He just kept laughing, if it weren’t for his mother, he probably would’ve let you walk home completely soaked, but the aggressively kind woman forced him to give you some spare clothes.

He had given you his sweater, it was to big on you, but it fit perfectly in your eyes. It smelled of carmel and a hint of ash, you flopped onto his bed and grinned pulling out your phone, ready to start playing among us.

“You can keep the sweater”, he said around 3 in the morning, empty monster cans from your bag laid upon the nightstand next to his bed, “Really?”, I asked with a slight hopefulness.

“Yeah, it looks better on you anyways”, he replied, that sent a huge blush to your cheeks, and you chose not to respond and just accept the sweater.

+++

Now you were leaning across your desk to talk to Bakugou. “Mhh but So-”, you were about to finish your sentence when a girl with brown hair came running down the aisle, out of the corner of your eye, you could see Bakugou.

You could hear your heart shatter when you turned your head completely. It was like your entire world stopped, and all you could see was his expression, a small blush had creeped to his cheeks, his eyes were wide, like he was witnessing a true goddess.

But to be honest, you couldn’t blame him, what a sight for sore eyes, huh?. She ran up to the kid named Izuku and started to rant on about something both of us couldn’t hear.

He looked over to continue your conversation but was startled to see you walking out of the class. You didn’t want him to see you crying, he liked it when you put on a mask, but this time you couldn’t hold it up for him.

+++

You sat in the bathroom, the razor in your pocket was so tempting, nobody would know, right?....right.

+++

The next week you were at the mall, your usual place to hang out with Bakugou, you remember when you were kids he would work to get you a boba, and claim when he was old enough, he’d marry you. A sad smile appeared to your face, know he wasn’t going to, you knew that, though you hopped he might.

Know you saw him, she was wearing a tank top and shorts while he wore a t-shirt and long pants, he hand was wrapped around his waist, and his arm was wrapped around her shoulder, a wide grin on her face, and boba was in her hand.

How stupid you were.

You thought he cared about you.

“Hey, Y/N”, his voice snapped you back to the moment, you raised your eyes to see him in front of you with Ochaco, “U-Um yeah?”, you greeted him, like he was asking you for something. “Can I have my sweater back?”, his voice was so cool about this.

“Oh...”, you mumbled, looking down to still see it on you, “...sure”, you replied and took it off, you wore a t-shirt he gave you for your birthday, a small skull was on the back of the shirt. He grinned and handed Ochaco the sweatshirt, you could feel your chest tightening. Your ticks were coming back indicating an anxiety attack was going to overcome your body.

You needed to get out.

+++

Months had passed, you had learned how to get over the fact you wouldn’t be with your soulmate, for he didn’t share the same feelings with you.

Though that didn’t stop your old habits from re appearing.

“Yeah, Ochaco and I are going through some problems”, Bakugou groaned running his fingers through his hair. You couldn’t stand that girl anymore, she was constantly bossing him around, you wanted Katsuki happy, and he wouldn’t be happy with you or her, he needed to move on.

Though you still wished he loved you.

“Y/N!”, your mother screeched from downstairs. You jumped by the sudden loud noise, “Yeah mama?”, you called back softly, “Get your ass down here now”, she shouted. You looked at Bakugou before leaving the room and walking down to your mom.

There was a paper, along with a box, she was standing there, a mix of concern and rage burned in her eyes, “What the fuck is this?!”, she hissed and motioned to the box and paper. You stared at her confused, you opened the box, showing the newly stained razors, “You told me you stopped”, she snapped.

“I-I did!”, you exclaimed a lie, “Show me your wrist”, she hissed, I hesitated before reaching my arm out, new scars were barley healed on her wrist, she covered her mouth with her hand, her other hand was on the counter supporting her.

“I-”, she spoke softly tears brimming in her eyes, “Did....is that the only place?”, she asked, I shook my head in shame, “Where?”, she croaked out. I lifted my shirt to show the scars running along my stomach and my inner thighs.

You could tell she was on the verge of fainting. “M-Mama, sit down”, you exclaimed and quickly pushed her into the chair. She ran fingers through her hair, “You were so happy”, she croaked, “what am I doing wrong?”.

“nothing mama”, you mumbled.

+++

You had gotten rid of all the razors, and actually tried in a love life. You were going on a date this evening, you had fully gotten past Bakugou, who recently broken up with Ochaco.

In fact, you had actually managed to completely shut him out of your life, he was abusive, and an aggressive kid who needed to sort his priorities out. Maybe you would reconsider your friendship with him after he learns how to control himself.

You glanced over at Shoto who was scribbling on a paper, you tilted your head in confusion, right now you wore his hoodie, which was so comfortable and warm,a nd it smelled just like him.

Little did you know your ex best friend was glaring red eyes into the back of your head, god how was he so fucking selfish.

He loved you, so much, and not in a friend or sibling type of way. He loved you, and when you cut him off, it felt like you were actually cutting him. Both him and Ochaco agreed that they didn’t love each other, and during the process of the break up he pushed you away.

Shoto handed you the small piece of paper which wrote, “Do you think Mr. Aizawa would turn into a cocoon if he stayed in his sleeping bag for to long?”. Y/N giggled lightly, Shoto was amazing, he was so nice, you grabbed a pen from your bag and wrote, “You wanna test that theory?”.

You handed the note back to him with a smile, the same smile you gave him, he thought that smile was reserved for him and him only. But he guessed wrong. All those things that you thought were for you, weren’t, and though you didn’t intend to hurt him at all, he finally received a taste of his own medicine.

+++

You wore an oversized t-shirt with nothing underneath, you had just gotten out of the shower, and you were currently blowing drying your hair. You looked so pretty, and as soon as you were finished you started to put on a little bit of make up.

The doorbell to your home rang, you dashed downstairs, it was a bit early for Shoto to be hair, but you weren’t complaining. You opened the door eagerly, but the energy was removed from you when you saw Katsuki.

“T-tsuki?”, you asked softly. “Look Y/N I-....god I shouldn’t have-....are you busy tonight?”, he was trying to figure out how to put his emotions into words to no use.

“Oh um, i’m actually going out with Sho tonight”, you mumbled and smiled softly, “Maybe next week”...

He knew he would never have you

You were slipping out of his hands

You could do so much more without the weight of him on your shoulders

And he respected that

He just wants you to know

No matter what you do

Or who you end up becoming

He will always love you

And support you

Your his soulmate after all

. . .

#bakguou #bnha angst #angst #bnha #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha x reader #bnha bakugou

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redinkofshame · 3 years

Text

Some late night ramblings Re: gender and toddlers bc I can't sleep.

I mentioned a while back that my kid's pediatrician asked if he could tell boys from girls and how much it upset me, like, can you?? (<-- I regret not saying it. I should have.) At the time I said no, he thinks everyone is a boy.

I soon realized I was wrong; he doesn't think everyone is a boy, he just only knows/uses he/him pronouns. Boys are he/him, girls are he/him, inanimate objects are he/him. I've been working on it with him every time he gets it wrong (but it's not working at all)

Ignoring for a minute that I don't particularly like that my 3yo can correctly (or as correctly as anyone else) say 'that boy won't play with me' or 'that girl took the ball'... (Like, how can he tell? They’re just kids...) Even though he can't grasp pronouns I'm glad that he's exposed to gender neutral on a regular basis thanks to the librarian that does toddler time at the library, Mx. Jude. I feel like it's scary to tell parents your proper pronouns because so many people are shitty but I'm glad they did. I guess I should write a comment card or something? Or is that patronizing?

I've been working on my own pronoun use, too. I try to remember not to assume and to use neutral terms unless I know otherwise. Kinda hard to unlearn a lifetime of cis stuff but I try. Sometimes I mess up in my head at work -- hard not to make assumptions when speaking with a nurse named Angela -- but I (think) I always remember when leaving a note saying who I spoke to be neuter about it.

It’s already paid off. Kiddo is in swimming lessons and his teachers rotate all the time so I was introducing him to the week’s teacher. I don’t know if I would have caught myself if it wasn’t easy to see that the teacher was wearing clothes that came from a different department than their AGAB but it slowed me down enough that I remembered to use a they/them, despite my brain telling me I could just assume their gender and sexual preferences based on a glance. I’m really glad I did bc when I tell you their eyes just LIT UP and being called they/them by a new parent.

So much so even my mom saw it, I think. Or maybe she picked up on me continuing to use those pronouns when talking about them later? I don’t think I ever mentioned them again though. I do know that I saw mom use the correct pronouns weeks later when we saw them again, in that way where she had to slow down before she said it to remind herself to use they/them. I know it’s a struggle for her. It’s hard to re-learn! She’s very good about Mx. Jude in front of kiddo but sometimes will slip when talking to be about them.

I probably slow down the same way, though I try not to. It doesn’t come naturally yet. But I’m glad that I’m working on it. And I’m glad people from my mom’s generation are too.

I grew up with Fox News playing like 24/7, except when we were in the car: then it was Rush Limbaugh. I believed all the rhetoric. But occasionally something someone said would seem Too Unfair to me, and if was coming from my mom I would say so. One time a butch woman (I think. Who knows.) was spending, like, a long time primping her hair in the Target bathroom. Mom muttered something like ‘she’s spending an awfully long time on how she looks for someone who doesn’t care how they look.’ and I was like ‘who says she doesn’t care?? Just because YOU don’t like women with short hair doesn’t mean SHE doesn’t like it. You don’t know she cut it just to say ‘fuck you’ society.’ (though, now that I’m older and wiser, more power to them if they did. I also like to imagine they were getting ready for a date or talking to a cute cashier.)

She used to say It’s okay to be gay but they shouldn’t be *married* they can just have ‘civil unions’. It took me YEARS to stop believing that, but when I did I found an excuse to bring it up again so I could say something about it.

And folks? It worked?? Like I didn’t notice at the time. I don’t think she really responded either time and the subject moved on. But even she still remembers that time in the Target bathroom because it left such a ‘o shit the kid’s right’ imprint on her, and it’s made her think about some things more critically.

But now we’re at a point that my mom will text me about how my kiddo loved playing with Mx. Jude today, just casually in a text. I didn’t even know where she learned that Mx. was a thing. She didn’t learn it from me. (I’ve since gathered she probably learned it from the teacher.) I’ve never really talked her much about gender outside explaining why some people go with bi and some pan and some other ones out there.

Which! Side note. When her teenaged nephew came out as bi to her sister, and then the sister talked to mom about it, mom was able to explain ‘just because someone’s attracted to multiple genders doesn’t mean it’s always all genders equally; sometimes it is, or sometimes people will still have some preference to girls or boys but are still bi’ because apparently of all the things I said to her about it that one was like a lightbulb for her. I have no idea why it mattered in the conversation tbh, only that she later said she was happy that she understood that now, thanks to me.

I hope this isn’t patronizing to mom, and I don’t want anyone to think ill of her bc she’s super amazing and caring and works so stupid hard for this family. But it’s just great to see that other former Fox-News watchers can just learn to teach themselves to be progressive.

(Dad’s changed a lot too but not in an anecdote-able way, not as socially, so idk how to describe it. Definitely thinks more critically though.)

One more before I resort to sleep meds I guess. My cishet BFF just informed me that her spouse is a transwoman. She’s wanted to tell me forever (like 6 month I think) but they weren’t out about it yet and it wasn’t her place to tell, all I knew was that her and spouse were in therapy about something she couldn’t talk to me about yet.

I focused more on her reaction to it when I was talking to her, because I know how much she hates secrets and has wanted to talk to me about it and I wanted her to tell me all the things she’s been holding back. And also their family’s reactions because they suck. (The reaction is that everyone thinks her wife is going to hell, even the wife’s mother.) But the first thing I asked was how to spell her wife’s new name.

When the conversation was over and I had her permission to tell others I informed my spouse and mom, because they also know my BFF and might talk about her spouse and I didn’t want them to accidentally misgender/deadname her.

My mom’s first question was how to spell her wife’s new name 😂 (and then if she was using she/her pronouns or smth else).

Idk. It’s exciting. I’m happy for all you funky little queer folk. I’m sorry my ass is taking so long to catch up. I’ll make sure my kiddo is better than me. Forgive him for misgendering over half the population currently (and most inanimate objects).

#now that i've written it all it's like way too personal to post right #but also #I've already written it all...#it's a good thing my posts only get like 4 notes #Also for the record my kid will know that we use he/him only for convenience #but not to assume we're correct #and they can correct us at any time with our full support #anyway I saw a kid at his swim lessons in head-to-toe-to-towel spider man merch from the boy department and I assumed girl #just because he had long hair???#wtf me #I knew not to say anything out loud so that's good #my husband has long hair. He got a lot of shit growing up because of it #(utah sucks)#what's wrong with me #hope mom doesn't see this but I've got too many followers on my side blog

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