#But I really do feel passionate about this movie. I rarely rewatch a movie so soon after its initial watch.. but I watch this movie about

[flare-dragon]

Ron's Gone Wrong: An Analysis

I recently rewatched (most of) Ron's Gone Wrong and remembered a few reviews I'd read of it, describing how its message seemed muddied and not very clear...which, ultimately, is true.

But, with that said, there's something I realise about it that it almost gets right (literally, all the way up to its second-last climax is so perfect, and even its ascent to its final climax is still consistent with this realisation). The realisation is that there's one thing it describes really well:

Artificial/Algorithmic "Friendship" vs Organic Relationships

It seems almost simple or obvious that this is the message the movie tried to portray, but the way that it ultimately ended tells me that they either missed the point they were making or someone else forced them to have a different ending (sadly, I think it's the former). I cannot call it a bad movie for missing that point (it's still one my most watched recent movies), but it makes me wonder what it could've been had it brought this point home.

So, without waffling on for too much longer, here's a quick analysis on how it goes about this message, and why it's a good message that doesn't inherently contradict the pervasiveness of social media (even if it also didn't do much about that point)

Barney vs Friendship

The beginning of the movie shows us a "revolutionary invention", designed for making friends: The Bubble Bot (B-Bot for short). From the get-go, we're given a presentation of what the modern friend-making dynamic intends to be: Interact with interests and media, share them online, and the algorithm uses that to help connect with others who shares those interests and enjoyment of media. It's an intentional reflection of modern social media, albeit a somewhat simplified version.

It quickly shifts to a large number of kids connecting to their B-Bots for the first time in a short montage, cut at the end with a hand touching a similarly-coloured door. An assumedly unintentional, but well-placed, contrast and summary of the story. Here we meet Barney.

Without rehashing too much of the beginning of the movie, we learn that everyone else at his school (supposedly?) has a B-Bot and he's the only one without it. Similarly, he doesn't have any friends he talks to during school (or outside of it apart from family). He himself states that he "kinda, actually" needs a B-Bot to make friends these days. One could call this a simple set up to the idea of "You won't make real friends using computers" by starting us off with a B-Bot-less Barney...if it weren't for the fact that he gets one the next day.

This is when we really start to see what I mean by "Barney vs Friendship": His attitude towards what his new B-Bot should be is pretty consistent with how everyone else has been using them: "You are meant to be my friend, and know everything about me." It's hammered in later on during the friendship montage, with Barney making a board on "How to be my friend" (underline by me).

Barney's perception of friendship, then, is revealed as "You are my friend. You are on my side. You like the things I like." A very selfish and self-centred perception. This might seem to set up Barney to be a selfish person...but isn't that how the algorithm is supposed to work? Finding people with the same interesting ("the things I like") and rejecting those who don't share it (which we see at the school, two B-Bots rejecting each other, and thus the two kids, Savannah and Ava, simply walk away from each other). It isn't Barney's fault his understanding of friendship is like this. He's been inundated and surrounded by it.

Barney vs Ron

Up to this point (after the school "riot"), we see Ron as trying so hard to be Barney's friend, to the point of taking Savannah's words to heart and going outside to find people to be friends with Barney (since Ron wants to not be pointless and is connected to Barney). It isn't until now that Ron asks the question: "Barney, are you my friend?"

Barney's response is typical and expected: "What do you mean? My dad bought you for me." After all, Ron is just a robot, right? It does make the idea of the message "Artificial Friendship vs Organic Relationship" difficult to apply since Barney literally doesn't see Ron as a person. He's just a self-moving machine designed to be a friend.

But, interestingly enough, that makes Ron a perfect vehicle for the message. A machine that was intended to just follow the algorithm, instead forced to (and willing to) create their own way through life by whatever limited tools it has access to. Even in the moments Barney sees Ron as just a machine, he's also treated him as an important person in his life.

When they meet up again in Barney's shed, it all finally shifts into what it always should've been: A two-way street. They'd already spent so much time bonding, regardless of the way they'd perceived each other before then (Barney seeing Ron as just a friend machine, Ron seeing Barney as the one person he needed to be a friend to), that the change to actually being a friend to each other and allowing each other's individuality to shine but never be the only priority allows them both to be better friends, differences and all.

To contrast, we also follow in pieces the journeys of Savannah, Rich, Noah, and Ava's own experiences with their functioning-as-intended B-Bots. We see Savannah and Ava miss an opportunity to be friends (and Ava's loneliness from very few B-Bot owners showing an interest in science). We see Noah's constant struggle to be at the top of the leaderboard. We see Rich attention-starved and making as much "content" as he can just to get some. Instead of exploring the possibilities of relationships with people who may not share the same interests, they're steadfast focused on what they're used to, never really getting a chance to evolve it into something more joyful (more on that later)

Barney & Ron vs The World

...a dramatic subtitle, but this is when the two of them run off, away from Bubble's attempt to capture Ron to stem the damage they've seen from him. Barney still doesn't have any friends aside from Ron, and Ron doesn't have any friends aside from Barney. Barney refuses to lose his one and only friend, so they run off, separated from the rest of the world, and just...enjoy each other's company.

In the montage and subsequent scenes, we see more bonding from both of them. Ron is still trying to be a good friend, but Barney gives him a chance to say things for himself and to do things for himself, even if Barney doesn't like it. Even when they argue later from the stress of living outdoors in the woods, they stick together and try to keep warm.

There's not a lot to say about these scenes, except that we see a very stark differences from when they'd first met. It's almost as if this is where we get to see how far they've come as friends. We've seen the relationship grow over time, shifting from seeing each other as a particular purpose into treating each other as individuals. A shift that would've been impossible if Ron simply followed the same algorithm the others did.

Would Barney have found friends if Ron functioned as intended? Would Ron have shown the personality he does if he had ever been connected to the Bubble Network? Would there have ever been a discussion on how to actually make friends? It isn't until later that we find a likely answer to all of these: No. Barney would have fallen into the same trap every other B-Bot user did: A constant hunger for validation that only resulted in disconnection and loneliness.

It al comes to a head when they both find themselves in danger from being caught by Bubble (by remote-controlled B-Bots being controlled without user consent or knowledge. Makes one wonder~). Barney does everything he can to hide and protect Ron (which only succeeds due to Andrew's complete disregard to human life), even risk death from asthma. Ron then does everything he can to ensure Barney doesn't die in the woods, even if it meant being taken away and destroyed.

It's a beautiful relationship, given a chance due to them having to discover who each other were over time and in an organic matter. Ron had to learn Barney's interests manually and even began to observe new things about him over time. Barney shifted the way he looked at Ron to seeing him as his own person, and spent the time to learn his own likes and desires.

Barney vs "Ron's Gone Wrong"

I figure it's also important to include where - in my opinion - the movie loses the message and the storytellers mess up. In the last segment of the movie, we have Ron having been connected to the Bubble Network and losing everything that made him unique, each interaction with Barney being a shallow facsimile of what made Barney become best friends with him (right down to Ron's individuality being erased).

I'm sure there was a way to make this work, but it instead has Barney try to rescue Ron's personality (a backup Marc created somehow) and then, after getting it back, Ron sharing his personality with every other B-Bot (due to seeing how the original algorithm just lead to sad kids disconnected from each other) at the cost of his own life (although that's technically ambiguous, especially with the ending).

I'm...not sure what the intent is, but it misses something big. What made Ron special to Barney was not simply that he existed outside of the mould that every other B-Bot was forced to fit into. It was that Barney got to know him and his eccentricities, and Ron got to grow and evolve alongside Barney. They both grew organically alongside each other, and demonstrated the need for a more natural approach to friendship making compared to the rigidity of the algorithmic connections that occurred through the B-Bots (and not questioning this algorithm or given much chance to examine the issues).

By simply sharing Ron's personality to every other B-Bot, it only really achieves one thing right in relation to the message: It forces each person to operate on their B-Bots level and develop their own connection to their now-chaotic buddy (I suppose not focusing on "online vs offline" as far as friendships go was also a good point for it, as it didn't really feel like a strong enough point for the movie and there's better ways to go about such a message.)

Had there been a greater focus on how it was that Barney's friendship had developed - or at least some kind of portrayal that the updated B-Bots weren't just copies of Ron but had actually become wide and varied individuals for their owners(?) to get to know - the ending might've been able to work better. Ron's sacrifice was a tragedy, but it displayed Ron's sheer selflessness and self-developed kindness and generosity.

If there's one scene that at least supports the message of "Artificial/Algorithmic Friendship vs Organic Relationships", it's the moment Barney sees how unhappy his former-now-again friends as they stare at their B-Bots screens and try to make some semblance of happiness, however shallow it is. Having a contrast of their artificially-built connection compared to Barney and Ron's hard-earnt friendship felt like a good way to help demonstrate the point. I just wish it could've lead to a more satisfying ending.

Barney and Friends

This is just a short little bit, but I wanted to at least point out one other good thing that happens in the last segment and ending. Barney may have started out friendless, but his friendship with Ron and Ron's selfless sacrifice (to get him medical attention) allowed Barney to reconnect with his former friends. It was a moment of realisation for Savannah, Ava, Noah, and Rich: After all this time, they let their friendship decay and be lost.

Seeing them, then, be together and hanging out alongside Barney? It showed another element of an organic relationship: Organic connections. Algorithms can give you other connection points, but it may leave you limited to other perspectives too similar to your own. Organic connections, though, force you to figure out if this thing that you never really thought about before is something you like or not, and if this person's appreciation and interest in it is something you like. It's one of those things that can just grow on its own and become something beautiful.

Just to note: I do not believe online friendships are worse than offline relationships, nor more shallow. Rather, it's algorithmic friendships that fall flat. The power of the internet is that it lets you get in touch with so many people you normally wouldn't have the chance to. Leaving it entirely in the hands of an algorithm (and not thinking critically about it) has you miss out on the beauty of the mish-mash nature of the internet. It's why Tumblr's such a fun place to be~ ^^

Conclusion

So yeah. The thing that always disappointed me most about the movie isn't that it didn't stick the landing. It's that it has such a beautiful message and the story it tells is so heart-warming and charming, but the message isn't carried to the end so you wonder if it was ever intended (I believe it was, but it's hard to say).

Seeing the way Barney and Ron's friendship evolves - and the way they each grow as individuals - contrasted with everyone else using B-Bots as they were originally designed/programmed makes for a pretty compelling portrayal of the differences between a friendship formed and informed by entirely through an algorithm, and a relationship that grew from organic interactions that, even when influenced by expectations from and of each other, created something much more different and complex and much more fulfilling for the two of them.

It's a beautiful friendship, and it's still worth watching to the end~

Bonus

It's more a funny coincidence I noticed, but the way that Andrew kicks Marc out when Ron loses his individuality, and then how Andrew was removed and Marc taking charge again when Ron's personality was distributed to every other B-Bot? Almost feels like its own reference to that message (Algorithmic Friendships may be ubiquitous and everywhere, but ultimately Organic Relationships will last the test of time)

A funny comparison honestly~

#rons gone wrong #ron's gone wrong #analysis #hetalks #theytalk #This is all first draft so don't expect it to be all that concise or completely consistent ^^'' #...this also might be the longest post I've made XD #But I really do feel passionate about this movie. I rarely rewatch a movie so soon after its initial watch.. but I watch this movie about #4 times within 3 days including the day I initially watched it #And it stuck with me based on pretty much everything within the movie. The concepts.. the sounds.. the characters? So good~ #And it wasn't until now that I could formulate what it was about the story I loved and what about the ending I just didn't enjoy #It was never about the dangers of social media (though it definitely used that as part of its story). #It was always about the restrictions of the algorithm and the freedom - and challenges - of not having one (in regard to making connections #...though I wanna say its most likely biggest intended message was ''Making friends'' and how the algorithm will never make as good a frien #as something made with your own two hands seemed more something that just came with it due to how it told that story

[slaygentford]

every matthew mcconaughey romcom, rated

ive never really had a pet white man. ive had many pet white men characters, yes, but never a little pet white man actor who I wish to give treats and pats to like a purse dog. I never before really understood the phenomenon until my 5th or so rewatch of true detective in the year 2024, at which point something demonic was unlocked in my brain. why? how? a mystery for my therapist, when I had a therapist, but I don't anymore, so now it's a mystery for you. overcome with the insatiable urge to tape his picture to the front of my binder and write "hott" underneath it in sharpie I mentally detransitioned and, embracing my latent teenage girl (the girl I was, perhaps, in another world, one parallel to ours; a darker world, but of equal worth to our own sphere, damned as it may be) --began to watch every Matthew mcconaughey romcom ever made.

listed in my watch order, which was random.

how to lose a guy in 10 days: this is a near perfect 00s romcom, too much secondhand embarrassment to be a real mainstay for me, but it nonetheless hits every beat with aplomb. particularly tickled to see them playing bullshit the card game which was a family and friend group fave for me growing up. he and Kate Hudson have probably fucked, which added a lot to the chemistry. in one scene Kate Hudson described how cute he was rubbing his face into her tits and her friend says, do you want to date him or adopt him? at which point I saw into the void, which then saw back into me. instantly it became apparent to me that he will act circles around whoever he's paired with to the point that it actually becomes kind of comical how good of a performance he's giving in a movie that includes not one but two scenes of a dog pissing on a pool table. that being said bebe neuwirth CARRIED this film on her BEAUTIFUL lithe back. 1 instance of no shirt, unfortunately brief. 7/10. vape I hit at midpoint also a 7/10, coincidentally

NB: after watching this movie I had a dream that I was at the beach with him and Kate hudson and I hated her because she had stolen may man.

the wedding planner: when I watched this I got extremely caught up in two things 1 the fact that he went on a date with another woman while engaged and almost kissed her and 2 jlo playing an italian girl. this led me to think about what race is/was in 90s-00s, colorism, borders of the latinx body and codemeshing. something interesting about the wedding planner is that the leads are in every way the opposite of the character they are playing, with little effort to no effort to make up for that diff (Matthew not at all acting like a wholesome pediatrician and rarely seen with children/jlo not at all acting (like) or being an italian). as a result the fourth wall in this movie is made out of wobbling cellophane, an upsetting and uncanny experience. Matthew doing a tango meant a lot to me as a fan of rust's deranged impromptu norteñas tutorial in true detective. as he is a texan, I think he is essentially one of my people. 0 instances of no shirt. 2/10

failure to launch: at the first incident of animal slapstick (chipmunk related) I had the thought while the scene wore on and on, I feel like I'm on drugs. that's because I was on drugs, which I then remembered, but a joint doesnt deny the truth, only reveal it. there are many sports, and Matthew doing sports. I wouldn't be surprised if the original conception of this movie was more like lars and the real girl or silver linings playbook which then had to get repackaged as a rom com bc some parts of this kind of push at the seams of the haha funny tone which makes for a shockingly bad film but a very interesting way to think about process and what this writer's passion project would be. by the final animal slapstick incident (dolphin, second appearance) I really said what the fuck out loud, like actually out loud in my home. we started off strong with some shirtlessness and a calf shot during the sex scene, but the chipmunk to dolphin to bird to iguana to dolphin pipeline really took the wind out of my sails. 1/10

ghosts of girlfriends past: This is doubtless Matthew's worst performance--and yet what a triumph it is, purely because for any other actor, it would be the peak of a career. Matthew has an incredible naturalism. About 15 minutes into this movie, Matthew gets belligerently drunk at his brother's rehearsal dinner. Through half-lidded, glassy eyes, he delivers with thoughtless verve the exact sort of diatribe a man not only uncaring but also unaware of his cruelty can; and yet, in that passivity, he unearths pathos. I consider it an underpainting--a little window which peeks out of a bad script to a fully conceived person. Throughout its runtime, the film degenerates into a pantomime, even parody, of itself: but with just a series of slow blinks, Matthew conveys a complete psyche, an entire lifetime. I truly believe that he comes to roles even those he dislikes with an inescapable talent and sensitivity. If I could bring half of his effort and spark and originality to my own creative pursuits, that would make for a very good career indeed. His integrity as an artist really is why watching his worst films is so fun: in a game of limbo, Matthew can do the lowest backbend of all. Strong calves indeed. anyway, this movie is REALLY bad. 0/10

fool's gold:

10/10

[lovingaquarius]

My own little astrology observations ;p

‼️DISCLAIMER‼️

this is completely based on my personal experiences and observations do not take what i say literally i am NOT a professional astrologer 🫶

jj and kiara from “outer banks” are the PERFECT example of a leo and aquarius duo and the best thing is rudy is a LEO IN RL and madison is an AQUARIUS 😩 kinda wanna do a separate post on this…

idk if any other gemini moons like watching reaction videos but i love them sm (this may be a gem placement thing overall)

i feel like sag moons favorite tv/movie genre is comedy. (my brother is a gem sun, sag moon and he hates scary movies, even tho he’s a scorpio rising?!?) and only likes comedy or adventure.

heavy aqua placements may make you hard to read to people or seem unpredictable

7h moon synastry may make you and your partner feel like you can feel eachothers emotions or know what they’re thinking/going to say

10h lilith ppl need to get used to people talking ab you, rumors being spread about you or just all around peoples perceptions of you being contrary to how you really are.(i have many favorable placements but this one still has its power 😭) what’s helped me is realizing that everyone’s perceptions of you is purely based on their perception of the world and past experiences with people. it’s rarely even ever about you

i don’t know why but i feel like gemini and sag placements are the types to like anime/video games

if leo moons/venus feel like they’re not getting enough attention or validation in their relationship they will find it somewhere else that is not something they can be without

i hate to validate stereotypes but every person i’ve known with taurus placements in big 6 have a passion for food and sleeping.(one of my old friends had a heavy taurus stellium and she was alllways sleeping/falling asleep and would often fall asleep while eating 😭)

is there such thing as an aries mars with a low labido??

i feel like water placements (especially pisces) are the ones to listen to and really appreciate Lana del rey’s music or like/romanticize the older eras like 50s-90s (i’m a 7h pisces venus and i’m obsessed w the aesthetic of the 70s)

moon mars synastry is so real yall ofc the whole chart matters but if your persons moon sign is your mars or vice versa there’s just a strong attraction, sometimes you dont even understand why.

the leo and aquarius attraction is so true i can point them out in a crowd and everytime i want them 🙄 it’s suspicious at this point 😑

idk if this is a pisces moon thing but i’ve noticed the pisces moons i know always have their comfort movies they rewatch over and over again and never get tired of. (or prefer to watch what they’ve already seen and like) maybe it’s a nostalgia thing?!?

#astrology #astrology observations #aquarius

[wawamouse]

2023 AO3 stats/reflections

Hmmm well I took the leap and finally calculated my 2023 stats, and I'm a little shocked at the word count I reached, mostly because I don't remember writing that much. It's certainly a step up from my dazzling (1) 2.5k fic output from 2022 😂

Fandom breakdown

1 狂飙 fic ("Bolt from the Blue" - I think I have my friend who's not even in the fandom to thank for the hit count because most of the fandom is Chinese speaking, I wrote for one of the more minor ships, and I wrote it in English 💀 But my friend tells me they revisit it whenever they need vibe inspo... the highest honor tbh)

6 成化十四年/TSOMD fics, including wrapping up "Like a Magpie", which I hilariously started posting when it was 12/14 chapters finished in 2020... then posted ch.13 in 2021... and then... yeah)

9 Oz fics!

Reflections

Well! Here's to more fic writing in 2024. I have a couple of TSOMD wips I'm hoping to pare down and post as oneshots, but it's not really a huge priority. I'm really proud of how "In the Gloaming" turned out in terms of tone and story and whatnot, and it was super fun to experiment with writing a near-stream of conscious style, although I suppose my readership already sort of dispersed by the time I posted it. I was the most prolific writer for the ship, which was sort of a secondary/rare ship to begin with. I hope that readers revisiting the fandom in the future will find it and like it though. In a similar (?) vein, I'm pleased with how "Surpassing Corridors" turned out, and it absolutely delights me that I wrote a 25k fic for basically no one but myself (rarepair absolutely no one but me is writing for), and yet some people came along and read it anyway. It even has 1 comment, with an emoji combination I shall treasure forever:

Anyway, I've got two Oz wips right now that are both a little on the lengthier side, so as far as posting them goes, it'll probably be a little bit longer for that. There's also a movie I want to rewatch soon to maybe write a quick Oz AU for... And I'm not really an AU fic guy tbh (in terms of writing them). But I guess Oz is such a small fandom and I'm sort of just doing god knows what out here at this point that even AUs seem appealing. Maybe the experimental aspect of the show inspired me to experiment more LOL. I kind of cringe at some of the stuff I've written so far (mainly "Holding Up the Sky" characterisation woes and stupid pacing/plot points.... ugh.... Kill me...) but that's the nature of the beast, I suppose. In any case, I'm glad I played with form and style and stretched my creative muscles;

I've never written a 2nd person POV fic, which I did for "In the Blink of an Eye";

I've never written anything quite as nonlinear as "At Rise", so I'm proud of how that turned out;

and I've always wanted to write an epistolary fic but never really felt a motivation to do so until "In The Matter Of Carmen Guerra, #96G522".

Hopefully I will get more confident in my characterisations and whatnot going forward. There are so many great fic writers for Oz who are able to capture such a voice/style that feels so close to the show and then I feel like there's me, puttering around in the kiddie pool, inexplicably wearing giant clown shoes that squeak with every step. LOL. Oh well! I'll get there.

Misc Other

Not AO3 related, but I have had fun writing up reflections on each episode of Oz during my rewatch with my sister. I've never really just written long form posts like that, outside of pointless rambling in the Livejournal days. It's been a bit of an effort to do, but fun, and it's helped me get my thoughts organised about some things and really think about what I watch (as much as my memory problems allow!). My only concern is that I probably sound like I'm bitching about everything the way I comment on it. I'm really not! I wouldn't be rewatching Oz again and again if I didn't like it 😅 I just express my passion by being a hater, I guess.

#text

[teeth--thief]

Have you seen Tetris (2023)? Unrelated: what music do you like, or listen to?

-R

I have seen Tetris, yes! Just a few weeks ago, sometime in March, matter of fact, so your timing is particularly incredible. It first haunted me in music form, believe it or not, I kept getting songs from its soundtrack recommend on Spotify.

While I usually really don't like the KGB is in your walls stuff that the Western films always insist on showing, I'll make an exception for this movie because it's pretty fun. I actually liked the Evil Liar KGB had going on, I thought it was very funny. I do have one complaint about the whole thing, though. I wish the pixel animation was utilised throughout the whole movie, not just in That One Scene... :( Just small, little bits (ha) would have been fine...

Fun (not really) fact: I was first introduced to the character of Robert Maxwell through this movie (you have to forgive me for not giving many fucks about the aristocrats of Britain). I have then immediately learnt that his daughter is Ghislaine Maxwell. The Ghislaine Maxwell. Jeffrey Epstein's partner (in crime). How delightful...

What music do I like... That's a terrible question to ask me because I'm very passionate about music... I have playlists for everything I like, even Chernobyl related one... there's not a free minute in my day that I'm not listening to something. I associate music with everything.

I mean, judging solely by the fact that my wardrobe consists of one too many Sabaton and Rammstein shirts, I'd have to say I'm particularly fond of metal. And punk. And rock. I occasionally listen to Hollywood Undead because I discovered it when I was a... young teen, much too young to be listening to that kind of stuff lmao, and so I feel oddly nostalgic about them.

I really like the... weird and experimental stuff? If it has some kind of a connection with nature, I will probably like it. I've been a long time fan of Cosmo Sheldrake - and he just released a brand new album Eye To The Ear on the 12th of April AND a new single just a few days ago... it's everything I could have expected and more, truly. His brother, Merlin (whimsical names is the theme) is a biologist and he wrote a book about fungi, which I really like, but haven't finished because I didn't have the time nor brain capacity to take in all that new information.

And continuing with the theme of slighly weird, I also enjoy video games/movies OSTs. The creepier the better. Little Nightmares (I&II) soundtrack? Perfection. I talk a lot of shit about HBO's Chernobyl but that show's OST is phenomenal (and that's the last nice thing I have to say about it 🙄). From not horror-esque soundtracks: stuff from DOOM.

I've also been mesmerised by the Polish folk music used throughout The Peasants and have been regularly listening to the whole soundtrack. I need to rewatch that movie ASAP... more on movie tracks, I also really like Mad Max: Fury Road's and Moon (2009)'s OSTs.

I also like older, classic bands... Pet Shop Boys, Soft Cell, Bronski Beat, Depeche Mode... Kult, if we're talking local... And because I AM beating the toxic masculinity allegations: MARINA, Paris Paloma, Caro Emerald and sometimes even Lana Del Rey and Mitski. Other than that, I'm rarely attached to one particular artist or band, I usually like two or three songs and hate the rest haha

I'm gonna add a bunch of songs I like under the cut as a little treat, just because:

#i forgor to post this. my bad #asker: @atomshchik #file: ask! #file: misc hunter #file: music

[mrbigbrother]

Halloween (2007) deserves more respect.

Rob Zombie made the wise decision to treat the audience like adults who've likely seen the original Halloween, and would be atleast somewhat familiar with the Michael Myers character, who we know as an unkillable embodiment of evil. Some including John Carpenter have argued that Zombie's film doesn't work as well as the original because it reveals to much of Michael. And I agree that the original is a much better film for that reason. And few films are scarier. But I think it's time to give the devil his due, because even if the 2007 film is inferior, it is still a really good horror film.

Zombie's Michael Myers is not an unkillable embodiment of evil, but a deeply troubled young boy in both his family life, his school life, and his behavior towards animals where he gets to have some control and power over. The film succeeds in making us look at the character in a new light.

And that makes for a less scary boogeyman, and a more interesting character. Michael is honestly the least appalling human being in this film. Many of his victims weren't exactly innocents. The whole of Zombie's Haddonfield feels alot less safe and middle american. Michael a product of his environment, being belittled by his father, bullied by the little brother from Spy Kids, and shunned by his elder sister whom he craves attention from, but never gets it. All of it feeds a rage that swallows up his humanity, leaving only emptiness within him. I'm not sure that it's a sexual thing being suggested about his elder sister yet, because Michael seems to find killing more gratifying. Killing someone he loves makes him feel emotions that he becomes addicted to. I gather this because at first we see a very vocal emotional and frustrated Michael Myers progressively become more calm and quiet. Retreating into himself. More curious to himself. When he kills, he is stoic and studious.

Zombie does a great job in the first 40 minutes observing how this deeply troubled young boy in this ruthless environment, didn't stand much of a chance of growing up to be a healthy sane man. Instead only taking the 'shape' of one.

I didn't like this movie back then. It was just too awful in the explotive manner Zombie takes in his films. Plus I really compared it too much to the original without giving his version a fair shake.

I rewatched it recently, and found that I actually enjoy it alot more than I use too. Maybe it's because in the realms we occupy now where remakes, reboots, re this and re that, have left me more than disillusioned and a little numb to the industry. Halloween Ends just recently took the title as the new worst film of the franchise. So I think Zombie's film deserves a second chance. It's as gritty and ugly a film as he's ever made, and his passion for doing it shines through an ocean of films with broken logic void of passion, that will all eventually be forgotten. But people are still talking about this movie, and rather you enjoyed it or hated it, it found a way under ylur skin. Just as the original has. And that is rare for a remake.

The original Halloween can't be unseen. After the first viewing, it simply haunts you for the rest of your days.

And that’s the fun of it.

The Halloween franchise was born from the John Carpenter film, and each entry is always at a disadvantage because of it. The scariest thing about Michael Myers is how we can never understand him. What makes the ending to the original effective is not only do we found out that he could be inhuman, but that not even Dr. Loomis was able to rationalize the kind of evil that cannot be killed.

In 2007 horror was trapped in a limbo of remakes of slasher classics and even Japanese horror like the pretty decent remakes of The Ring and The Grudge.

Eventually Jason and Freddy got their remakes along with new actors in two one off films that tried way too hard to both be taken as serious efforts and to satisfy their bloodthirsty fanbases.

I can imagine those films switched to a more serious tone in the wake of 2007's Halloween having a good run at the box office. Out of the three remakes of our most classic slashers, Zombie's take on the Michael Myers tale was a true passionate effort. Well It's aged better than the treatments Freddy and Jason got.

*** rating

[1kook]

disney+ & bust

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door.  warnings; arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of degradation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment, unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, return of mean jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf miscellaneous; ANGST, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count; 13k !!

notes; me: *writes couple who’s whole arc is being silly* y’all: MAKE THEM SUFFER GIVE US ANGST!! u ask I deliver so now we all suffer 😐 ngl it was hard writing this fic n u might notice there’s some parts that seem weird n that’s bc this was TWO fics w diff wording but I ended up mixing them bc I’m insane. still had a lot of fun! felt like I challenged myself!! not proofread bc when I say we suffer we SUFFER

please let me know what you think!!! a simple ask goes a long way <3

previous part: kissanime & foreplay

Approximately one week after The Bullet Bestie’s rise to prominence, Jungkook grows annoyed with it as his weirdly competitive nature rears its ugly head the more and more orgasms that little vibrator coaxes out of you. It turns on a weird switch in him, something slightly stuck up and snooty that he’ll never admit to out loud but is there nonetheless. By the following Friday, The Bullet Bestie is nestled deep in your garbage can and Jungkook’s back to pleasuring you with his tongue and fingers alone.

He had those moments in him, the ones where he liked to think he was better than any and everyone else, and occasionally they manifested against inanimate objects like a bullet vibrator.

Despite his polite and generally soft exterior, you catch glimpses of that cocky spirit more than anyone else. Over the past year, you’ve come to realize that Jungkook’s personality was like a coin that had been left out in the sun too long. He had this sweet and reserved nature you saw most times, a kindhearted boyfriend who adored you almost as much as you adored him. He was your angel whom you knew had a heart of gold, even if you were slowly bringing out his more childish tendencies. You knew him like the back of your hand, knew what his mom’s favorite color was and how he liked to stack the plates in his cabinet according to size and make. It was a side that was rusted from years of being out in the sun, basking in its adoring warmth, and you loved every inch about it.

And still, there was this other side to him you rarely saw. This cocky asshole who hid beneath the soft smiles and careful hands, making his appearance only through sly smirks and a tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek. He was a braggart, a man who knew his greatness yielded for no one and wanted that fact shoved down everyone’s faces. This Jungkook, this other side that never saw the light of day, was like the Hyde to his Jekyll. An unexpected, almost mean side to him that only dared make his appearance when his exhilaration was at an all-time high. Like when he was fucking you into another dimension, or kicking your ass in Mario Kart, or like now, when he was receiving an award at an annual tech ceremony.

On the eve of your one year anniversary, Jungkook’s company invites him to an awards ceremony for other web and app developers like him. It’s a grand event, filled with all the biggest nerds in the developing industry here to present the baby nerds with awards. Jungkook lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, both a seasoned player and a rookie all at once. He spends the night tolling you around in a floor-length gown and fangirling over all the “legends” in the room.

You know next to none of these people and none of their accomplishments but still pretend you respect them to hell and back. By the end of the main dinner, you’re sympathizing with Barbie’s ever-smiling features because your cheeks feel sore.

Towards the end of the night, Jungkook wins that random award— okay, who were you fooling? He wins the Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award, recognizing him for all the hard work you’ve seen him put in this past year. It’s probably the highest recognition he can receive at this point in his career. It was an esteemed award that was bestowed upon only the most innovative developer of the year among tech companies, something Jungkook had briefly mentioned he always wanted. It’s basically the equivalent of placing first place in his field, but given Jungkook’s competitive industry and his young age, you think it’s like telling all these old Facebook lords to suck his big fat cock. (But that was your job when you got home.)

He gives a short little thank you speech, promising to work hard and own up to this title. The people around you are swooning, obviously endeared with his soft puppy dog features and melodic voice. They don’t know him like you do, don’t know that uppity twist to his grin like you do. It doesn’t slip off his face even when he steps down off the stage, arms wide open as he comes barreling towards you. Even with you in his arms, the congratulations that are thrown from every direction ring loudly in his ears and swell that ego of his.

The night goes like that for the most part, Jungkook’s acquaintances approaching him every few minutes to rain down their praises. He goes a little crazy at the open bar after a while, shoving the gold trophy into your arms as his beloved work seniors whisk him off for drinks. You don’t mind because you resigned yourself to a night of playing Jungkook’s perfectly perfect partner anyway, watching him politely mingling with his coworkers. Despite his earlier success, you know he won’t brag about it verbally. No, he’ll wait until the two of you get home—your place or his—and remind you how amazing he is with a quick snap of his hips.

As you said, he’ll never boast aloud.

However, that doesn’t mean you won’t.

“That’s my boyfriend,” you explain to the seventh person that greets you that night, excitedly pointing to where said boyfriend was slowly losing all sense of self by the bar. You don’t know anyone here beside Jungkook, and you’re pretty sure no one in their hammered minds is going to remember who you are anyway, so a little gloating never hurt anyone. “He won the ‘I’m Better Than Everyone Else’ award tonight,” you emphasize to the tipsy woman beside you who only laughs at your exaggeration. You assume she’s like you, accompanying one of the many developers here, because as soon as you finish boasting about Jungkook she moves to brag about someone too.

Truth be told, you spend the whole night re-analyzing the Zootopia movie you saw on Disney+ the other night in your head. So if the little fox fellow didn’t control himself would the city have fallen to ruins? Why was the useless sheep girl so evil and bitter? Why was there an unreal amount of romantic tension between the fox and the rabbit? Whatever, you’ll have to rewatch it some other night, and with your new Disney+ account, you could watch it anywhere you wanted to.

Now, you had never bothered to purchase a Disney+ subscription or even tried to swindle Jungkook for his password before. As far as you know, Disney+ was filled with old tv shows from your childhood, sitcoms that made you laugh when you were ten. There’s nothing wrong with that, but personally, you were a firm believer that that which was perfect should not be touched once finished; in other words, you were utterly terrified you’d rewatch an old episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place, only to find out the same joke you’ve been regurgitating for the past ten years doesn’t actually go that way.

However, the harsh reality was that Disney+ was good for a few things. Ugh, you hate when giant corporations provide decent services. Aside from Zootopia, you’ve watched about every animated media on there as well, all of which you replay in your mind as Jungkook has the time of his life with these nerds, knocking back champagne glass after champagne glass.

Anyway, the night ends a little past midnight, and Jungkook who is buzzed on alcohol and high on exhilaration ends up calling an Uber for the two of you. Your apartment— the new one he had not only helped you hunt for but also helped you move into, greatly cutting the cost of movers out with those glistening biceps and thick thighs —is still going through her rebellious phase where the potted plants are trying to take over, courtesy of Kim Namjoon. So for now, there’s a potted plant in an awkward corner that both of you stub your toe against on your way to your bedroom.

You’re thinking Jungkook is going to go to town tonight, given the fact he’s on Cloud 9 and has had his ego stroked by a bunch of dudes for the past couple hours. Maybe you guys can try out the hot role-playing scenario you saw on GirlsWay a few weeks ago, or the handcuffs you impulsively bought from Amazon one Monday night. Or maybe, and this one really makes you flutter, he’ll let you fully take the reins for once.

All those lewd fantasies end up being for naught because just as you shimmy out of your gown (with the help of his hands, of course) and turn to climb him like a tree, he’s on the other side of the room getting your makeup remover out for you. And also talking. A lot. And way more than usual.

“Did you see him, babe?” he sighs, dare you to say, dreamily, handing you the cotton pads as he begins pulling a million pins out of your hair. Slowly and with a lot of confusion, you pull your fake lashes off and begin cleaning your face. “He was amazing.”

“Uh-huh,” you say, having absolutely no idea who ‘he’ is or why Jungkook is so in love with him and not you at this very moment. “But so were you,” you add. Perfect. Stroke his ego and then stroke his cock.

Jungkook sputters at your praise. He’s carefully placing your hairpins on your thigh, cheeks flaming red every time he leans over you. “Was I?” he murmurs, voice sweet in that cute little way it always gets when he’s downed one too many shots of whiskey, enough to be buzzed but not enough to be wasted.

You turn and the pins clatter to the floor and across the bedsheets. “Yes,” you confirm, ignoring his sad huff at the mess you’ve made. Instead, you grab him by the collar of that pink button-up he taunted you with all night. “You were fucking incredible and I think incredible men deserve to have their dick sucked.”

Jungkook laughs at your vulgar statement, holding you gently by the hips as you climb into his lap. “Is that so?” The soft, shy persona is gone now, replaced by the gentle stirring beneath his dress pants. You nod hurriedly, plopping down on his lap and running your hands through his styled hair.

“Yes,” you confirm, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Luckily for you, I know this nymphomaniac who would gladly gobble up your cock at your every command.”

He snorts just as you push him into his back, nose adorably scrunched up. “First of all, you know I hate that word,” he chuckles, finally gracing you with a sweet peck that only makes you want him to fuck you into the fifth dimension. “Secondly, please don’t ever say you’ll gobble my cock up ever again.”

Something inside of you squeals with excitement as he rolls the two of you over, firm body pressing down on yours. “Oh, baby,” you groan, lazily throwing a leg over his hip. Jungkook grins and then decides to entertain you for a few minutes with a sloppy kiss.

You say a few minutes because just as things are heating up, he pulls away. He smiles apologetically. “As much as I’d love to be here with you, I actually have an early morning tomorrow.”

You frown at the sudden change in events. “Huh? They’re gonna make you work the morning after a Gatsby party?” you gasp, sitting up as he gets off of you. With every step he takes away from the bed your heart breaks a little more. “They can’t do that— that’s illegal!”

From the doorway he levels you with a comically raised brow. “No, it’s not.”

You scamper after him down the hall, watch the muscles in his back flex as he pulls his suit jacket on. “You can’t work on our anniversary— that’s illegal!” you offer instead.

He stops at your front door, feet squeezed back into his shoes. “Baby, it’s not,” he rolls his eyes, leaning down to peck your forehead. “It was either I work in the morning or work at night,” he explains, giving your messy hair a soothing caress. He’s looking at you with those eyes, the ones that make your heart lodge itself into your throat and make life a tightrope experience. There’s a devastatingly lovesick part of you that wants this moment, this kind face, to be engraved into your mind for the rest of your life. You want this to be the first and last thought you have and nothing else: just Jungkook’s adoring gaze on you for the rest of time.

The moment ends too soon when he flutters one last peck against your lips. “I’ll be done in the afternoon, okay?”

You pout. “Okay, your place?” you huff, making sure to get one last octopus squeeze around his waist. He nods. “Promise you won’t be late?”

The corners of his gaze soften. “You know I won’t,” he smiles, leaning down to bump your noses together playfully. “Can’t stay away from my pretty girl too long. Besides, I have a gift for you tomorrow.”

It’s with that sentiment and a hammering heart that you let him go. With Jungkook gone, there’s really nothing for you to do now. You took the next two days off in preparation for your anniversary sex, so you don’t have to head to sleep early like usual.

With nothing else planned, you decide on rewatching that Zootopia movie that had plagued you all night, ready to dissect every plot hole to hell and back. You don’t think Jungkook’s seen this movie yet so you add it to your long list of animated movies you’re forcing him to watch.

Part of you is actually really surprised Jungkook left. Well, kinda sorta, very, but not really. Jungkook was a good boy, that much was obvious. He took his job seriously, and if his job wanted him to come in at the asscrack of dawn, then he’d come in before the sun even rose. He was a goody-two-shoes, but even so, you were occasionally able to bring out that darker side in him.

Jungkook working, like actually working in an office setting, was pretty rare though. The dude had a chill job that let him stay home most of the time, and essentially clock in whenever he wanted. Every now and then you were able to convince him to stay, tucking him beneath your body or the covers, depending on the night, and refusing to let him go the morning after.

Once he had eaten you out until the wee hours of the day, ravenous between your thighs, and then went to work the next morning like he hadn’t broken you. Another time you had persuaded him into watching every season of the 2017 DuckTales reboot through the night. When the alarm had rung in the middle of the season finale, he had simply gotten into your shower and gone off to work.

So maybe you were a little confident in your skills, and Jungkook slipping between your fingers tonight was a huge bummer. But there was no use crying over spilled milk, you tell yourself, flinging your bra off somewhere in the corner as you snuggle back into your sheets. You’re ready to tear this Zootopia movie apart, scene by scene.

Even though your apartment is a little cold, you’re comforted by the fact Jungkook will be here to keep you warm all day tomorrow.

All men do is lie.

Despite his promise to come home early the next day, Jungkook ends up lying. The meeting he had been in all morning— the same one that had stopped you from getting bent like a pretzel the night before —drags on well past noon. Then, Kim Namjoon, AKA Jungkook’s favorite senpai in the entire world, catches wind of Jungkook’s success last night and absolutely has to take him out to lunch to celebrate.

You scoff, glaring down at your phone and the impulsive messages you’d sent out an hour ago when Jungkook had first texted you telling you he would be late.

You whirl around to stomp off in the direction of his living room, where all of yours and Jungkook’s favorite foods were growing colder by the minute. You had spent the longest time carefully laying them out, making sure the fried chicken was closer than the pizza but not closer than the breadsticks. Truthfully it’s a nightmare. There are about eight stomach aches worth of food sitting on his coffee table, the greasy stench makes you gag and will certainly stick to your hair for weeks, but none of that mattered because it was all for your beau.

Your very late beau who was making you grow more and more agitated with each minute that passed. Ugh! How inconsiderate of him to test your patience on a day like this. You didn’t want to be upset with him, but this was your first, real milestone as a couple with him. You had wanted to spend the whole day cuddled up, maybe finally tell him how much he really meant to you— definitely not waking up alone with eyeliner crusted eyes and an aching heart.

Deciding you’re being a little too dramatic, you head into the bedroom to calm down. This was fine, you tell yourself, carefully laying out the damn near harlotrous lingerie you had yet to put on. Jungkook would come over soon and everything would be A-okay.

Except for the part it’s actually F-not okay because soon it’s nearing sunset and the food has gone cold so you’ve stocked it into the fridge, and the pretty sheer bra has a wonky wire that’s two seconds away from piercing through your heart, but that doesn’t even matter because Jungkook being late for your all-day anniversary celebration has already ripped it to shreds anyway.  

You plop down on the couch in defeat, impulsively opening up the Disney+ app to cry through another episode of Phineas and Ferb. You’ve abandoned the satin robe that came with the lingerie in favor of donning a big t-shirt that smells like him and makes your heart hurt even more. The setting sun paints the living room in muted oranges, the chirping of birds outside the soundtrack to your lonely day.

You end up watching some other cartoon on Disney+, avoiding the Marvel section because you had promised Jungkook he could be there when you lost your Marvel virginity. Well, at least one of you was good at keeping promises, you think bitterly. For a second, you think about randomly watching one of the infamous MCU films out of order just to spite him. But then you think of that soft puppy gaze and how disappointed he’d be in you.

Whatever! It wouldn’t ever match up to the way you felt now.

Anyway, you circle back. When you’re five episodes into Phineas and Ferb you hear the doorknob rattle.

You sit up just as the door swings open, visible from your spot on the couch. He meets your gaze almost immediately, big doe eyes caught in the act. What act? You’re not really sure. In fact, you don’t even know what you’re looking at when he walks in because he’s drowning in shopping bags. His lips twist into a grin. “Honey, I’m home,” he says playfully.

You don’t laugh.

Jungkook frowns, dumping all his bags down at the entrance before waddling over towards you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, coming to stand before you and cupping your face in his hands. He’s towering over you, so tall and gorgeous but for the first time, you’re not dazed by his beauty.

“Kook, you said you’d be back hours ago,” you say slowly, avoiding his gaze. You try to keep the frustration out of your voice, but you’ve had hours to dwell on it now, and those annoying cartoon characters, though charming at first, had only served to multiply your annoyance.  

Jungkook blinks, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean… yeah. But I got you presents?” he beams, glancing back at the mountainous pile he made by the door. You look over too. There are some luxury bags squeezed in between other shops you like, the occasional jewelers' logo on the side.

You stand with a sigh, sauntering off into the kitchen with him on your tail. “I don’t want presents,” you mumble, reaching to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re briefly aware of how childish you must seem. Jungkook hovers behind you.

“What? Yes, you do,” he says. “You had an entire wishlist on my Amazon of things you wanted.” It’s his turn to level you with an unreadable expression, slowly crossing his arms over his chest.

Your frown only deepens as you turn to match his stance against the counter. While it may be true that you did indeed have an entire list of impulsive items on his Amazon, that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted them all. Sometimes you just wanted to stare longingly at a pair of satin gloves without actually buying them. You don’t know how to explain this much to him. “They’re not…” you stop with another deep breath. “Forget it. Thank you for the presents.”

Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to question you. “What,” he says in an unimpressed tone, padding over to you before you can escape back into the living room to watch the entire princess movie collection on Disney+. “No, tell me what’s wrong.”

For some reason, that’s exactly what you don’t want to hear. “Jungkook,” you say flatly, narrowing your eyes at him. “You come home six hours after you said you would without telling me why, and normally I wouldn’t care, but today was supposed to be a special day for us.”

Jungkook reels at your bluntness. “Babe, I was out getting stuff for you. I know it’s our anniversary— that’s why I wanted to treat you,” he responds, oddly condescendingly like you’re a child who doesn’t understand what exactly he was doing.

You brush his hands away from your shoulders. “Yeah,” you huff. “Now I know that. But I spent all day waiting for you,” you stress, chest puffing as you grow more and more agitated by his inability to understand you. God, can he let you go now? At least a bunch of animated, geometrically drawn cartoons won’t question you like this and make you feel as childish as he was.

When he doesn’t say anything else you stomp back into the living room, snatching up your phone from its forgotten spot against the couch. “I’m going to bed.”

At that Jungkook seems to kickstart back to life. “What? ___, it’s barely six,” he says as he follows after you into your bedroom. You ignore him, shuffling beneath the covers. In all actuality, you’re going to bed to mope and watch more animated family shows, maybe cry under the guise of the plot just being so sad. Jungkook sits beside you just as you click back on to finish off your episode. “Baby, I don’t get it,” he sighs. “You’re always talking about how much you want this or that, and I go out and get you it all but now you’re mad?”

You bite down on your lip, eyes lasered in on the pictures moving before you. “Jungkook, just forget it.”

“No,” he says, more sternly than he’s ever been with you before. “If there’s a problem, tell me.” There’s a heavy pause, and then he says, “don’t make me waste my time guessing what’s wrong, okay?” 

“Waste your time?” you scoff, sitting up with pinched brows that you find match his. “I’m not trying to waste anyone’s time— in fact, that’s hot coming from you, Jungkook.”

He rolls his eyes. “What are you even saying? You’re mad because I took a little long getting presents, for you, might I add,” he huffs, plopping down on the edge of the mattress beside your knee. “You’re always saying you want this and that, but you can’t handle me going out to get those things? Do you hear how weird you sound?”

You whip the covers off of you. “Me talking about things doesn’t always mean I want them,” you defend.

Jungkook snorts. “Yes, it does,” he says. “Anytime you ramble about stuff for minutes like a little kid it’s because you want me to buy it for you.”

You blink. “Like a little kid?” you repeat, stunned by his comparison. Granted, you always knew you were the more childish of the two, but you never thought that would equate Jungkook thinking of you as a child. Something red and nasty flares in your chest. “Well sorry,” you spit, crossing your arms over your chest defensively, “sorry we all can’t be perfectly mature golden boys who would never see the light of day if I constantly wasn’t dragging them out.” You know it’s a somewhat low blow, especially because Jungkook’s told you before how his introverted tendencies were a sensitive issue growing up, but you can’t help it.

Jungkook groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Baby, don’t do this now,” he warns, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Stop acting like this.”

“Like how?” you spit, “like a kid?” Jungkook says nothing, leveling you with a blank stare from the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes, phone falling off your lap. Another episode of Phineas and Ferb had started, the corny opening tune filling the space between the two of you. “At least now I know what you think of me,” you mutter over the guitar riff.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook blurts, sitting up wildly. “Of course I’m gonna think of you as a stupid little kid, look at you,” he seethes, gesturing at the phone beside you. You flinch. “All you do is watch kids shows and whine whenever I wanna watch anything normal adults watch. You complain every single day about the most normal things, like your job? Why should I fucking care that you’re working a dead-end office job in a field you didn’t even study for— that’s not my problem, __!” he snaps, eyes narrowed into little slits. “I just won an award last night,” he says suddenly, voice back to its regular volume. “I’m at the height of my career and I’m only going up, but I can’t even enjoy that because I have to come home and cater to you,” he finishes, a loud scoff punctuating the final word.

You had never imagined Jungkook finally bragging about himself would be at your expense.

A beat of silence passes, the angry glint in his eyes quickly fading away the longer you don’t say anything. You sniff once, turning your head idly to the side where Phineas and Ferb is still blaring loudly from your phone speaker. Picking up the device, you throw it across the room where it hits his closet door with a terrifying bang the breaks the silence.

The sound snaps Jungkook out of whatever shock he’d been in. “Baby…” he says slowly, carefully, like you’re a caged animal that’s just escaped the zoo.

“I’m going home,” you say, also a little too calmly. You saunter over towards his closet where your shattered phone screen glares up at you as you yank a pair of sweats off a hanger. Jungkook is still frozen on the edge of the bed, watching you with wide eyes as you move about the room.

It’s when you’re in the hallway leading downstairs that Jungkook finally snaps out of his daze, scampering behind you as you descend the stairs. “Baby,” he rushes out, loudly bounding down after you, “___, wait,” he gasps, catching you by the kitchen counter collecting your keys. “I-I didn't mean that,” he rushes out, eyes wide and frantic as they flicker over your expression. “I don’t think that—I don’t, baby, please, just… let me explain, please.”

“Jungkook, let go of me,” you respond, shaking your wrist in an attempt to release yourself. He’s not even holding you tightly— he never would—but the sound of your heart pounding in your ears makes your movements jerky and erratic. “I wanna go home.”

“No,” he chokes, cornering you against the counter. “No, baby, please just listen to me, I-I—“

“You what, Jungkook?” you snap, placing a hand on his chest and forcefully pushing him away. He lets you, stepping back with a wobbly bottom lip. “You need to tell me how you’re too good for me? How much I hold you down because I wasn’t lucky enough to get a job like yours straight out of college?” He says nothing, swallowing roughly as you jab a finger into his chest. “Well let me tell you something,” you snarl, chest heaving, “I may be childish and a huge complainer, but I’m not stupid enough to let someone walk all over me like this.”

With that, you make your great escape. Truthfully, you don’t want him to see the tears in your eyes as you yank his door open, stomping down his steps and in the direction of the nearest bus stop. The door opens right after you tug it shut, painting your shadow across the sidewalk. There’s the scrambled sound of house slippers against the concrete that follows you down. “Go the fuck back inside,” you snap without missing a beat.

Sensing your obvious anger, he pauses before he can reach you. “Text me when you get home?” he calls out quietly.

“No,” you respond.

You would never admit to anyone that you spend the entire night eating a tub of mint chocolate ice cream. It’s disgusting and makes you gag, but it’s the only one you have in your apartment. And of course, it was brought over by none other than Jeon Jungkook himself a few days ago. Even when you’re trying to comfort yourself over how mean he was, on your anniversary night no less, you’re plagued by thoughts of him everywhere.

As much as you want to brush his words off, put on that cool girl exterior you’ve maintained since high school, there’s something different about this situation. You guess it’s impossible to brush off such hateful words when they come from someone you love and adore so much.

Were you too childish? You had always believed that side of you was what made your relationship with Jungkook so perfect. The two of you meshed well because of your differences, like yin and yang. So how had he been able to so easily deconstruct every inch of that balance in a matter of a few seconds? Was this perfect reality all in your head this whole time?

You want to tell yourself it was just a heat of the moment outburst from Jungkook, give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s never snapped at you like this before. Of course you’ve fought a couple of times in the past year, but neither of you had ever stooped as low as you did yesterday. Furthermore, the insecure part of your brain says he obviously felt this somewhere in his heart to bring it up at all. What he had said to you wasn’t something someone could make up on the spot.

You don’t text him when you get home, partly to spite him, but mainly because you had left your phone at his place anyway. You know he tried calling you last night because the call log is synced up to your laptop. He called on and off for about thirty minutes before he probably found your phone in his room. Whatever, he can mope in his regret for all you care

—is what you wanna say, but the longer he goes without showing himself to you the more your insecurities and hurt fester. Was this it? Was this the end of what was probably the best year of your life? It’s too painful to think about, to even consider the possibility that Jungkook might have gained a new insight last night and decided, hey, maybe this is for the best after all.

You drown yourself in an ungodly amount of sugar for breakfast, your laptop blaring yet another episode of Phineas and Ferb on the dining table. Muscle memory has you making Jungkook’s favorite pancakes before you can stop yourself, and by the time you do realize, you’ve resigned yourself to the blueberry smell anyway.

There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb.

It’s not.

It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. You open the door with a fright, jumping back when he slumps forward and almost crashes face-first into the floor. “You didn’t call,” Jungkook cries, leaning a little too much of his weight onto you when you reach out to steady him.

The thundering of your heart slows upon registering it’s him. “Kook?” you frown, nose pinched at the ungodly stench of alcohol wafting off his clothes. “Have you been drinking?” you ask even though the answer is staring you right in the face (and in the nose).

He groans, staggering deeper into your arms. You blindly push the door shut behind him, resigning yourself to this new situation while your pancakes grow cold in the other room. “Baaaby,” he slurs, letting you guide him into the living space. He’s unceremoniously dumped onto the couch, half-opened eyes gazing up at you. “Let me,” a hiccup, “explain.”

You won’t lie. There’s a very obvious sense of discomfort sitting in your chest, torn between two paths that you don’t wish to choose between. His skin is warm and flushed like he’s just walked all the way here in this morning sun. You step over to the window that faces down onto the street below. There’s no sign of his car; you would have killed him if he ever tried to drive in this state.

“Did you walk here?” you ask instead, deciding there’s no need for one singular path, not when you can walk straight down the middle, both cleaning him and grilling him at the same time.

Jungkook’s response is delayed, head lolling from side to side as you help him out of his sweater. His skin is sweaty beneath, scorching to the touch. “Uh-huh,” he groans. Jesus, you sort of assumed but him confirming it really set things into perspective.

By no means did you and Jungkook live on opposite ends of the earth. On a good day, a drive from your place to his took about ten minutes. But walking? Easily an hour. Had he walked all the way from his place, drunk on top of that?

You brush his hair away from his face, his eyes fluttering shut at your touch. His lips are pouty yet chapped, dehydrated from the sun and the alcohol he reeks of. “Sit up for me,” you instruct, scampering off to your room for chapstick and water.

“Anything for you,” Jungkook wheezes, throat probably dryer than a desert. When you return, he’s two seconds from face planting into the coffee table and breaking that pretty face of his. You catch him with a hand on his shoulder, keeping him balanced. “Tell me what to do,” he chokes out, voice hoarse.

“Just need you to drink some water,” you say, pressing a cup against his lips. He drinks it, but a drop still dribbles down his chin.

“No,” he groans, catching your wrist in his hand when you reach up to apply some chapstick on him. “Tell me what to do,” he stresses, “to fix this. Fix us.”

His words make you pause, the tube of chapstick hovering over his plush lips. “You don’t have to do anything,” you respond quietly, trying to finish the application so you can pull away.

Jungkook doesn’t let you go. You try to look away, but there’s something about him that looks off. Maybe it’s the raw skin under his eyes, red and swollen. Or the sad droop to those same eyes that hold you captive. Or maybe it’s the subtle tremble in his hands, the fingers that hold tightly to your wrist, not to keep you there but to ground himself. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he rasps out, shakily bringing your hand to his mouth, where he presses one airy kiss to your knuckles. “Tell me ho-how to fix this and I’ll do it,” he pleads, a vulnerable look in his eyes.

Unable to withstand the sheer amount of agony on his expression, you look away. “___, please,” he chokes out, stumbling off the couch in his drunk and desperate haze until he’s kneeling in front of you. “I can’t… I can’t,” he sniffles, tears clouding those pretty eyes you’ve come to love so much. “I don’t know who I am without you.”

You clench your jaw. “You’re Jeon Jungkook,” you murmur, slipping your hand out of his hold to run through his hair. It’s knotted and a little too greasy, two things Jungkook would usually never allow. “This year’s Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award recipient,” you remind him, trailing your thumb across his cheekbone when he turns to look up at you with those big Bambi eyes. “Sweet and shy, but you love being rowdy with your friends. You love movies and TV and organizing your shirts according to fabric type. You work harder than anyone I know and never complain. You date me, even though I’m a huge child,” you smile sadly.

“No!” he jumps, turning that frantic stare back into you. “Y-You’re not— it’s not,” he stammers, words still slurring together. “I’m a liar,” he cries, resting his forehead on your knees. His shoulders shake. “I don’t deserve you,” he weeps quietly. You place a hand on his shoulder. “Y-Y-You make my life so much better, ___, so colorful and fun. I-I wish I knew you in high school,” he admits, “maybe I wouldn’t have been so emotionally constipated now.”

“You’re not,” you reassure him softly.

He disagrees. “You bring out the best,” he hiccups, “the best in me.” Your heart skips in your chest. “I-I love you, you know that?”

You sputter, eyes wide at his sudden confession. “I… love you so much, y’know? I think about you ev-every night, ___,” he rambles, eyes dreamily gazing off into some miscellaneous spot on the wall behind you. “I can’t get you out of my head. Like you're a song, o-on repeat but it’s not annoying because it’s my favorite song, and I could listen to it for the rest of my life, y’know? My favorite song, I know all the words b-because it’s all I think about! I love... My love… I love you so much.”

“Kook,” you rush out, cheeks flaming as you try to pull him away from where he’s slumped over your legs. His passionate speech has you abuzz, body tingling everywhere until you feel overwhelmed, head spinning like you’re on a rollercoaster. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He nods sleepily, seemingly coming down from whatever alcohol induced rampage has allowed him to walk for an hour straight in this searing heat just to confess to you. “Y-You don’t have to say it back,” he continues to stutter as you guide him through the living room on wobbly legs. “I just-I just— can I?” he babbles. “Can I love you, ___?”

You pass through the kitchen space, where whatever you were watching on Disney+ is blaring loudly. It distracts Jungkook for about two seconds before his attention returns to you. When you don’t answer, he presses on. “Is that okay?” he asks, whirling around to face you, catching your shoulders in his hands. He towers over you by the entrance to your bedroom, dark curls tickling your forehead. His eyes are dark and glazed over, both in tears and an emotion so raw and unfiltered it squeezes around your chest until you can’t breathe. “Is it okay for me to love you?” he murmurs softly, knocking his nose against yours.

Your cheeks blaze. “Yes, th-that’s fine, Kook,” you blubber, placing a hand over his chest, where his heart is also hammering away. “Just need you to go rest now, okay?”

He nods sleepily, nudging your nose with his one last time, like a soft almost-kiss, before letting you push him into the room. “Yes, yes,” he breathes, his body finally crashing from his adrenaline spike. He flops down onto the bed unceremoniously, dark waves fanning across your pillows. You try to wiggle him out of his shirt, but it only gets about halfway up his chest before he blindly reaches for the covers. His legs stick out awkwardly, clad in the sweatpants you’ve come to associate with him.

When he’s all swaddled up in your blanket he finally goes limp, tiny snores leaving his lips as he dozes away from reality. You sigh, pressing a palm to his forehead. He’s still warm and clammy, but at this point, there’s nothing you can do but wait for him to sober up.

With a final kiss to his forehead, you leave the room, closing the door behind you before sliding against the wooden surface. There’s a trapped bird in your chest, wildly flapping its wings in an effort to get out, and it’s all stupid Jungkook’s fault in the next room. Stupid Jungkook who demolished and remodeled your heart all in less than twenty-four hours. It doesn’t calm down, even when you rush off into the kitchen for a glass of water, or when you try to immerse yourself in some other show on Disney+. It stays beating against your ribs and your chest until you’re forcing yourself to sit down on the couch and process.

He wakes up a little before dinner. You hear him from the living room, where you’re flicking through the options on Disney+ for the nth time that day. You’ve seen the first fifteen minutes of about twenty different series and movies by now, always growing antsy and abandoning them early on. The only reason you know he’s awake is because the shower turns on for a few minutes, and then his bare feet are heard padding across the hallway back into your room.

By the time he resurfaces in the living room, you’ve resigned yourself to just more Phineas and Ferb, nonchalantly watching the silly cartoon. (Except you’re anything but nonchalant, and your heartbeat rings in your ears.)

Jungkook hovers by the door, clad in a pair of shorts he’s left here before, and a t-shirt you stole from him. “Hey,” he says quietly, lingering by the doorframe. You nod back in response. “Can I watch with you?” Again, another nod.  

Slinking over to the couch, he’s rather careful as he sits down, leaving a few inches of space between the two of you. You don’t even think he can see the screen of your laptop until he murmurs, “he’s my favorite character,” when Perry the Platypus appears on the screen.

You hum. “Thought you didn’t like these kids shows?” you ask. You don’t mean it to sound as petty and backhanded as it comes out, but that’s really no one's fault but his own.

Jungkook’s breathing tightens beside you. “No,” he admits, “I don’t. Only watch them because I know you like them.” You contemplate pausing the episode and engaging in a real conversation with him, but at this point, you’re very tired from the events of the last day. Jungkook doesn’t press either, just shuffles more comfortably beside you.

You get about five minutes in, quiet chuckles shared between the two of you, before he strikes. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he says, so hushed you almost don’t hear it. His hand is resting in the space between you, pinky brushing against yours. “About… being late. And the presents.”

You inspire slowly. “That wasn't even the problem, silly,” you brush off. From your peripheral, you see Jungkook’s slow nod. “I didn’t want any presents,” you mention, “I just wanted you.” You look away from the screen immediately after, pretending like the spot on the ceiling is actually really interesting.

The two of you fall into silence, the animated characters on your screen rapidly chattering away. “Oh,” Jungkook says after a moment.

You roll your eyes. They’re moist but you don’t want him to see. “Yeah, oh,” you parrot back softly, relaxing into the couch again. “Did you eat the food I left out?”

Jungkook shuffles beside you, the soft lull of the speakers soon being cut as he reaches over to pause Phineas and Ferb. A couple of seconds pass and then he’s leaning into you, head resting on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, placing a palm over the hand he had been teasing for the past few minutes. “I thought I knew what I was doing but I was wrong.”

His voice is so soft and sincere, it makes your chest ache. You try to burrow your face against your opposite shoulder, try to hide the stray tear that escapes out of the corner of your eye. “It’s fine,” you brush off, voice choked off and hoarse.

Jungkook leans up, pecks your cheek so tenderly it makes you go mushy. “No, it’s not fine. I acted like a know-it-all and said something way out of line,” he murmurs, raising his head to look at you. His hand feels warm over yours. It’s the touch you craved all day and yesterday, the warm feel of his body against yours. You’re embarrassed at how easily you melt into it. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time,” he tells you, holding your hand close to his chest. “I had no right to say those things to you.”

You sniffle, resting your head against his shoulder now. His heart beats loud enough for you to hear. “Was it true?” you mumble. “Do you really think of me like that?”

He shakes his head, his soft breaths fanning across your forehead. “No, never,” he answers. “I think you’re incredible. My brain was just trying to justify my dumb anger.”

You nod, even if you don’t believe it just yet. But that was a conversation for later, you suppose, sometime in the future when you aren’t on the verge of tears and threatening to crumble apart at the simplest word that leaves his mouth.

“I should have come home like you wanted, thought about my words before saying them,” he says, snuggling closer to you. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” you sniffle, covering your face with your free hand as he presses a kiss to the vein that runs over the back of the hand he’s holding captive. “Now it just sounds like I'm just being inconsiderate of your gifts and a crybaby.”

Jungkook kisses your temple softly, gently. “Don’t think about the gifts,” he says. “Just tell me what you wanted to do, doll.”

His voice calms you, has you like putty in his arms. “Watch movies,” you mumble, toying with a thread on your couch cushion. “Be with you.”

He hums. “Then we’ll do that,” he says, reaching for your laptop again. The screen nearly blinds you when it flickers back to life before you, Jungkook’s low breaths against your ear making it near impossible for you to process the titles on the screen. “You liked Disney+?”

Belatedly, you nod. “I like the animated movies,” you admit quietly, the anxieties of before slowly melting away, even more so when he slides his arm around you, pulling you close against his chest.

Unlike other times where he’ll critique the hell out of such childish films, Jungkook says nothing as he starts up the Zootopia movie instead, the same one you had wanted to show him before, right from the beginning. “That bunny looks like you,” you murmur when Judy Hopps first appears on the screen.

Jungkook snorts. “You say that about every cartoon bunny.”

You turn your head to glance at him over your shoulder. He meets your gaze with a small smile you return. “It’s because you’re so cute,” you say softly, lips twisting playfully when his cheeks grow scarlet.

He knocks his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut. “Not cute, just lucky,” he chuckles. “Lucky enough to have you.” Your heart turns over in your chest, threatening to burst out of your rib cage at his words. You try to turn in his arms. Before you can say the words that have been sitting on the tip of your tongue for months now, he’s beating you to it once again. “I love you,” he confesses in a hushed whisper, no alcoholic influence. 

Something inside of you blossoms, eyes wide as he chastely kisses you. He pulls away without you ever reacting, too caught up in surprise to kiss him back properly. He stays close, curls tickling your forehead as he leans over you. “You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know. I love you,” he says again, long lashes blinking down at you. “So much. It makes me feel like a stupid teenager again, going to the mall to buy a gift for my crush.” He laughs sheepishly, reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “Is that okay?” he asks quietly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

It mirrors the confession he’d given you that morning, those slurred words and teary eyes. It had been difficult to pinpoint the legitimacy of it before, the meaning scrambled by his hazy mind. But with him staring at you like this now, like you single-handedly plucked the stars from the sky to put them in those sparkly eyes of his, it makes something inside you ache.

Still, you choke on your own spit. “I-Is it okay for you to love me?” you sputter incredulously, realizing the oddity of the same question he’d thrown at you earlier. But now, you’re both sober and you can really tear apart that sentence. Jungkook nods a little too seriously for your liking. “Are you crazy?” He blinks in confusion, brows pulling together as you slowly but surely lose the last bits of your sanity. “You’re an idiot, Jeon Jungkook,” you huff, “a stupidly handsome, rich, walking dream, idiot who goes out with stupid girls like me.”

“Not stupid,” he murmurs, closing in on you again as he finally understands the truth behind your masked insults. He smells minty and like his favorite body wash of yours.

“No,” you deny. “You’re actually, like, insane. You have a bachelor pad, make enough money to sustain an entire litter of kittens, look and talk like every teenage girl’s dream boyfriend— but you mess it all up by dating evil, conniving hoes like me who lose their shit over Disney cartoons.” He says nothing, watching you with an amused grin as you talk over yourself, basically regurgitating his statement from yesterday except it kinda seems plausible now that you’re over it. “It’s stupid. No, you’re stupid. No— I’m stupid.”

Jungkook chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth gently. “Done?” he says, a dimple appearing on his cheek. You could kiss it away, but you need him to know the amount of stupidity in this room was astronomically high. “You’re not stupid, baby,” he says. You level him with a look. “Well. You have your moments.”

“Moments?” you repeat, standing up in a hurry that has him flopping down beside you. Your laptop is lost somewhere on the cushions, the voices faded as they grow farther away. “I am so stupid. I called Namjoon a whore for taking you out for lunch!” you cry. “I am the stupidest person in the world.”

Jungkook cackles, standing up beside you. “Yes, yes, you’re my stupid girl,” he teases, tapping the pout on your lips playfully. “So stupid she slanders herself instead of just telling me she loves me too.” He bumps your noses together, dark eyes staring at you almost daringly after his claim.

You fold soon enough. “I love you,” you mumble, “even if I’m too stupid to say it.”

He rewards your confession with a kiss, pulling you into his arms soon after. He sighs, almost wistfully. “Whatever shall I do with my very stupid girl?”

After exactly three minutes of feeling safe and loved in his arms, he abandons the living room in favor of leading you back to your room, where he pushes you down against your mattress. You cling to him, leaving him positioned over you at an angle. His chest presses against yours, arm curled around the back of your head. “Gotta get up, baby,” he laughs.

You shake your head, caging him in your arms. “Nuh-uh,” you murmur, legs wiggling when he places a hand on your hip.

Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear. “Your movie is still playing in the other room,” he reminds you, thumb drawing soothing circles on your hip. You don’t release him, his mindless touch only encouraging you to keep him close. “Babe?”

You say nothing, relishing in the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. His hair smells good and feels even softer against the side of your face. The cotton shirt he found is crumpled beneath your fists, dark blue pattern wrinkling. Finally coming to terms with his new home, Jungkook eventually relaxes into your hold with a sigh.

“Alright,” he hums, patting your hip as he repositions himself more comfortably. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh?” You nod, soaking in every detail about him in this moment. Jungkook shifts, the hand on your hip suddenly falling over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my stupid girl?” he purrs, hand slipping between your thighs. “My stupid, little girl?”

A gasp catches in your throat when he runs his fingers over the front of your panties. Your legs kick out wildly at the sudden touch, toes curling at the hands you dreamt about all day and night. “Oh,” you pant, each brush of his fingers feeling better than the last.

“What?” he says, mouthing against the side of your neck. His tongue feels warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “Too dumb to speak?” he scoffs, biting down against a particular spot on your neck. You whimper, unsure if it’s because of his hands or his mouth.

“N-No,” you try to sneer back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands are getting braver now, the pad of his pointer finger dancing over your engorged clit. The sheer material of your panties certainly doesn’t help, each touch feeling like it’s being magnified three times over. And if it felt this good with underwear, you can’t even begin to imagine how it’d feel without.

You don’t have to ponder for long, because soon after Jungkook is slipping his hand beneath your waistband, touching your sensitive pussy head-on. “Kook.”

He uses your momentary vulnerability to ease himself from your hold, finally recoiling enough to smother your mouth with his. You moan in surprise, thighs quivering as he gets to work circling your hardened bud sans your panties. Jungkook isn’t the least bit kind as he kisses you ruthlessly, likes he’s trying to compensate for something with his movements. When he finally pulls away it’s with an obnoxious pop and cherry red lips. He huffs, glancing down to see where he’s got his fingers pleasuring you.

Your thighs are squirming back and forth, closing around his hand every few seconds. Jungkook snorts. “Huh, look at that,” he mutters, trailing down until his fingers are gliding over your quickly sopping folds. “Stupid girl is good for something.”

Your cheeks burn. “Kook, I’m not—“

Jungkook levels you with an unimpressed glare. “Not what? Not stupid? But I could’ve sworn you just spent the last few minutes saying you were,” he drones meanly, landing one light slap against your cunt that makes your hips buck.

You bite down a whimper. “I was just…” you trail off, eyes rolling back when he teases one finger against your opening.

“Kidding?” he supplies. “Well, I wasn’t.” Your heart stutters in your chest, eyes growing wide as he finally pushes himself off of you, propping himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze is dark and unrecognizable. “I think you’re so fucking stupid, doll,” he sneers. “And what are you gonna do about it?”

You should have seen this moment coming, the manifestation of that shiny side of the coin finally reaching its full potential.

While Jungkook wasn’t exactly shy about his interests, he certainly wasn’t tripping over himself to tell you every new kinky thing he wanted to try. You sort of guessed he had some interest in this sort of play a few weeks ago when you watched the Barbie movie at his place. A lot of that night had branded itself into your three am wet dreams, but there was one particular moment that stood out to you. That was you, on your knees, with him condescendingly patting your head. Or just last week, you vaguely remember the term slipping through his lips as he pleasured you with The Bullet Bestie.

The thing about Jungkook was that, until last night, he would have never admitted, or so much as even thought, that he was better than you. That was fine because you would say it enough for the both of you anyway. Did you think Jungkook was amazing, an absolute diamond among these measly rocks? Absolutely. (Were you slightly biased because you were his girlfriend? Skip.) However, you also had this insane evil villain complex that made you want to brag about everything you possibly could, especially if that meant bragging about your boyfriend.

Realistically speaking, he was better than you, that much you could look past yesterday’s anger to admit, and not even in a stuck-up, conceited way; he had a really good job, an architecturally amazing house, and a hot girlfriend. Meanwhile, you had a mediocre job, an okay apartment, and an insanely sexy Calvin Klein boyfriend, half of which he had pointed out yesterday. Regardless of how powerful that third factor was, he still outnumbered you three to one.

Sue you, Jungkook was amazing. Anyone could see that! Except, maybe, himself.

And if the only time Jungkook would openly brag about his greatness or establish how much better than you he was, was in a post-fight, sex-induced setting, then you were more than happy to be his punching bag. So long as it was on your terms, and not as a result of his weirdly bottled up feelings.

(Yeah, you would have a long talk about that tomorrow.)

But for now, you pout up at him, clamping your thighs shut purposefully. “You’re stupid too,” you defend, “stupid and mean.”

Something in his expression changes. Suddenly, he’s moving at superhuman speed as he snatches his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. “Mean?” he mocks. “Isn’t that what you always wanted?” You shiver, fingers wrapping around the wrist that holds your sweater. “Wanted me to be mean and push you around like a little rag doll?”

Jungkook looks at you for another two seconds, before he’s slowly pulling away from you, leaning back on his knees. His tongue is pressing against the inside of his cheek, jaw tightening from the movement. “Baby,” he says so quietly it instills a prickle of fear in you, tainted with delicious excitement.

“Yeah?” you whisper, sitting up tentatively as you watch him, He was a bit frightening, like a wild animal about to devour you whole.

Jungkook rolls his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins tugging off his shirt. You salivate at the sight, too focused on the sinewy muscles of his body to catch the dark gaze he levels your way. He throws it off to the side, his sleeve of tattoos that wraps around his bicep and begins to crawl down his chest wonderfully unobstructed now. “Eyes up here,” he says and you quickly meet his gaze. He leans forward, muscled arms coming to cage you against the headboard. “Stupid little sluts don’t have the room to make such comments,” he rasps out, unamused expression adorning his normally soft features. “Don’t you think so?”

“I-I don’t know,” you stammer, leaning away as he comes closer and closer, eventually just turning your head to the side to avoid that emotionless look. It’s the wrong move, and Jungkook lets you know as much by forcefully digging his fingers into your cheeks and turning your face back around to meet his gaze.

A hand grabs beneath your knee, tugging harshly until you’re flopping down onto your back with a squeal. You settle with his knee pressed hotly against your core. Jungkook stays towering over you. “Dumb little girls who make me watch cartoons,” he spits, tracing a hand over your chest, molding your breasts beneath his hands roughly enough to make you gasp. “And watch little animal movies on Disney+. Aren’t they just so stupid?”

“So stupid,” you concede, subtly shifting your hips for some desperately needed friction. Jungkook snorts, finally granting you your wish with one rough slide of his thigh against your core.

“I agree,” he says, and surprises you with a hand around your throat as he leans in to properly grind his thigh into you. “All they’re good for is being dumb little sluts with good pussy,” he murmurs darkly, thumb pressing into the side of your neck forcefully. “Sometimes, they don’t even do anything,” Jungkook continues, his other hand on your hip hauling you higher up his thigh. You mewl, soaked panties rubbing roughly against your folds. You miss the soft swirl of his thumb, the gentle prod of his fingers. Even so, you can’t deny this change in Jungkook is doing something to you, riling up a part of you that you hadn’t known existed. Maybe it’s the horniness from yesterday that was left unfulfilled, the one year anniversary sex that was put on pause. “Just lay there and take it, too fucked out and dumb to say anything.”

His fingers loosen for the briefest of seconds and you gasp for breath. “That’s terrible,” you whimper, rolling your hips up into his thigh, so close to his swollen cock.

Jungkook chuckles without an ounce of humor, pressing your foreheads together as he helps grind you to completion. “Isn’t it? I think that stupid little girl is cute though.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt, vision spotting as he tightens his hand back around your throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you moan, stomach tight from all the stimulation.

Jungkook hums, slowing you down with a tight grip on your waist. “Hm, what are you sorry for?” he croons, pink lips pulling into an evil smile. “You said you weren’t that stupid girl, __.”

You shake your head, trying to roll your hips up again but he’s holding you too tightly now, rendering you immobile beneath him. “I am,” you choke out shamefully, grabbing at the hand on your hip in a feeble attempt to remove it. “I am a stupid little girl.”

Jungkook smirks, leaning down to slot his mouth over yours. “That’s right,” he murmurs, “nothing but a dumb little slut.”

You shiver, opening your mouth when he slides his tongue against your bottom lip. He’s not the slightest bit nice, and more messy than usual. He pulls away with a bite to your lower lip, meeting your trembling gaze with that same unrecognizable glint in his eyes. “Come on, dummy, keep up,” he snarks before devouring you again. You try to, you really do, but he’s moving like an animal today, despite his slow and drunken movements from that morning. So you end up with his saliva dripping down your throat, clinging to the corners of your lips as he begins slowly grinding you against his thigh again. He flashes you a wicked smile, pearly teeth on display for you as he glances down at your messy appearance.

“Are you gonna touch me?” you ask, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook purses his lips together in thought.

“Mmm,” he hums. “Don’t know yet.”

You whine. “Jungkook, please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”

Jungkook chuckles, running his hand up your waist and taking your shirt with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouths at your neck. “Cute,” he says. “Can’t do it yourself?”

You tremble, chest arching into him as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gasp. “Just feels better with you.”

Jungkook follows your statement with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”

Your cheeks heat up at his blatant ego rearing its head, hands carding through the hair at the nape of his neck. You say nothing, and that only eggs Jungkook on. “Come onnn,” he teases, finally, finally rolling his hips down onto your core. You squeak, head falling back against the pillows as you’re granted the one thing you’d been chasing. “Say it.”

“Say what?” you ask, voice wobbly as he continues to slowly rut against you, the front of his shorts pressing against the soaked crotch area of your panties. “Oh, oh, Jungkook,” you whine.

Suddenly he bites down harshly, teeth digging painfully into your skin. You yelp in surprise, pussy throbbing at the pain that shoots throughout your body. Jungkook pulls away and doesn’t bother soothing over it as he leans up to capture your jaw this time. “Say you’re a stupid little slut who can’t do anything without me,” he purrs, kisses too soft for the words he says.

Your mind blanks, torn between the humiliating phrase he wants you to say and properly checking him in his place. In the end, it’s with a twisted need to please him that you’re repeating the words back to him. “I-I’m a stupid slut,” you whimper, fingers digging into his shoulder blades as he continues pushing you right along the edge. The rope pulled tightly in your core is slowly being pulled apart, threads hanging on for dear life. “Can’t... can't do anything without...”

“Without who?” he asks, reaching down and untying the front of his shorts. “Can’t do anything without who, baby?”

“Without you, without you,” you cry, bucking your hips up against his, the combined movements of both your bodies making you shake like a leaf. “Ah, K-Kook,” you wail, hips stuttering as your orgasm finally swallows you up. Your panties quickly grow wet and icky from your own arousal that pools between your thighs. Jungkook lets you writhe beneath him as you chase your high, mouth sucking a pretty blossom against your jaw.

You know better than to expect the night to end here, especially after seeing the glint that had been in his eyes as he watched you unravel.

He leans close, let’s his nose brush against yours as you catch your breath. “So perfect for me,” he groans, slotting his lips against yours. You can barely keep up with him, languidly going along with his hot tongue. “Perfect, perfect girl,” he murmurs, a stark change from the less than friendly adjectives he used just moments before. “Tell me you love me?” he says softly.

You nod, mind fuzzy as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Love you,” you exhale, letting your fingers knot in his hair. Your proclamation does something to him, makes him grind the front of his cotton shorts hard against you. For someone that was often rough and brutal with you in bed, he sure was sensitive to the mushiest of things.

“Don’t deserve you,” he huffs, hot breath fanning across your skin. He switches gears fairly quickly. “Tell me you hate me,” he begs hoarsely, rutting against your soiled panties. “Tell me I’m a piece of shit and you could do better without me,” he pleads, voice too airy to be another one of his usual sex-induced thoughts.

You shake your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he rolls his hips. “It’s not true,” you whisper, “I love you more than you’ll ever understand.”

Jungkook groans, suddenly winding back and tearing your ruined panties down your legs. You gasp in surprise, letting him haul you about in his blind, self-inflicted rage. “Stupid, stupid,” he huffs, though at this point you can’t tell who it’s directed at. With your underwear out of the way, he wastes no time plunging his fingers back into your cunt, bypassing the tight ring of muscle around it without any of his usual care. “You should hate me,” he snarls, lips pressed against your ear.

You moan, back arching at the sudden pleasure that blossoms between your thighs. “I-I don’t,” you gasp, toes curling.

Jungkook groans, the sound traveling down your spine and straight into your pussy. “Stupid girl,” he huffs, slipping an arm around you to pull you so close until you can’t breathe, chests lined up together. His skin is warm to the touch, scorching almost. “Fuck,” he groans, curling his fingers inside of you. You whimper and moan, incapable of staying still beneath him as he tortures you with a thumb to your clit. “Tell me you hate me,” he seethes again.

Despite the fog that’s settled over your mind, you still manage a resolute shake of your head. “N-no,” you cry, digging your nails into his back. They run dark red lines over his skin, making him hiss at the sting.

Whatever punishment he’s trying to put himself through is falling through with your refusal to admit such a thing. It aggravates him even more, your adamant stance on loving him so, and he’s retracting his fingers before you can cum again. “Please,” he chokes, face tucked into your neck. He’s sloppy with his movements; as he pulls his shorts down and kicks them away, he nearly suffocates you with his weight. “I don’t deserve you, ___, please.”

“I love you,” you whimper for lack of explanation. Jungkook leans back, that same madman gaze in his glossy eyes. He’s looking at you in disbelief almost, pouty lips puckered and swollen. Your hands slip from around him, falling on either side of your head.

Like a cobra he strikes, collecting your wrists in one hand he pins above your head. The sudden movement has him leaning in close, lips brushing over yours. His lashes are coated in a wetness he refuses to acknowledge, looking at you like you drive him insane. “If you ever try to leave me,” he whispers, jerky breath fanning over your skin, “I’ll lose my mind.”

He loves you so much it aches.

“I won’t,” you whimper, feeling your own eyes well up with an emotion that consumes every inch of your being. “I’ll never leave you, you stupid, stupid boy.”

A faint smile crosses his features at your words, lips quirking to the side. You relish in it for all of two seconds before he’s ramming his cock into you, your sensitive walls spawning around him. You sob loudly, eyes rolling back into your head. Your legs instinctively hook themselves around his waist, digging into the base of his spine as he rolls his hips into you.

You feel full and complete like he belongs there in this moment and every moment after this. It makes your heart constrict painfully. Jungkook’s soft groans follow your more unraveled noises, the vulgar slapping of skin on skin the underlying melody to it all. “Ffffuck,” he spits, greedily swallowing your moans up. You whine, arms bucking in an effort to hold him close. But he’s determined in his act of restraining you, long fingers tightening around your wrists until they hurt. “I warned you, didn’t I?” he huffs, snapping his hips into you.

Your walls clench around his hard cock, the drag as he exits sending shivers throughout your body. Jungkook’s body towers over you, glistening in sweat as he nails you into your mattress. “Remember what I said?” he asks, voice but a shuddery exhale. You shake your head numbly, overwhelmed by the rough drag across your walls. “All those months ago, when you first came over,” he adds. The hand on your hip abandons its post to cup you beneath the jaw, palm pressing sinfully against your throat enough to block the tiniest of airflow. “I’ll fuck you and keep you forever,” he murmurs, voice deeper than the pits of hell. He licks a fat stripe over your cheek like you’re nothing but a sweet for him to devour. “Do you remember that, pretty girl?”

You nod jerkily, hips arching up into him when he thrusts into you again. It’s a memory that replays in your mind every so often, your first night with the man you had planned to humiliate over a mere misunderstanding, now your boyfriend of one year. “Want that,” you gasp, tears blurring your vision when he begins picking up the pace. “Wanna be y-your pretty girl forever.”

Jungkook groans, kissing the corner of your mouth. His thighs are some magnificent beings, keeping his pace consistent even as he loses himself in his overwhelming need to kiss you. “Always,” he manages, soft lips pressed against yours. “I won’t ever let you leave.”

A shriek tears itself from your lips as he picks up that harsh piston, releasing your jaw to hold both wrists above your head. It makes his curls dangle in front of his eyes, covering that beautiful dark gaze. It makes his thin little necklace swing back and forth too, though it’s too small to actually touch your face. The rhythmic swing has you hypnotized, just like everything else about Jungkook.

With the length of his hair, you’re left staring at his lips, pulled taut between his pearly white teeth. The word from before sits heavy in your chest, begs to drip from the tip of your tongue. But he’s moving too fast and too hard, scrambling your thoughts until all you can think about is the cock plunging into your heat. His name falls from your mouth like mindless blubber instead, arms thrashing as your second orgasm swallows you up. It sends you crashing, body spasming as the sheer euphoria waves over you slowly and then all at once.

“Perfect,” he grunts, leaning down to slot his mouth against yours, “my perfect girl.” Your cum makes the sound of his hips erotic, the loud squelching following your panting. Still sensitive from your high, your body unconsciously tightens around him, keeps his cock from fully leaving. It brings a soft whine out of Jungkook, one he tries to muffle against the side of your face.

“Inside,” you whimper, even though your body feels like jelly beneath him. “Cum inside, Kook, please,” you beg.

It only takes a few more thrusts into your leaking hole for him to finally reach paradise, hips stuttering when that first shot of pleasure hits him. “Fuck, fuck,” he growls, wildly snapping his hips into your achy cunt. You moan, feeling just about brainless at the overstimulation. His cum leaves you full, almost makes your belly bulge from it. When he’s done he doesn’t bother pulling away, simply slumping into your limp form. His cock, though quickly softening, serves as a plug for the cum threatening to spill out of you.

There’s a muted noise coming from the other room, the faint sound of the mail slipping through your letterbox, the quiet chattering of the street outside. And of course, the loud blaring of your laptop playing the Phineas and Ferb theme song. Jungkook registers it at about the same time as you, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.

He pushes off of you soon after, leaning on his palms over you. He’s got that molten look on his eyes, the heat of a thousand suns burning behind those irises as he looks at you. Like he can’t get enough, even though he’s just about taken everything there is to take. “Love you,” he murmurs quietly.

A drop of sweat rolls over his forehead, clinging to the end of his eyebrow. You reach up and brush it away, let your hand trail down his face to cup his cheek. Immediately he leans into the touch, eyes falling half shut. “Love you more,” you respond.

“Impossible,” he scoffs.

Soon after you’re both stumbling out of bed, clothes haphazardly shrugged back on as you drift through the living room. There’s a thin, hot pink package sitting at the door, just having slipped through the letterbox; the stark Sexuality Unleashed logo is printed on the visible side, so you have to wonder what Doyeon could have possibly ordered this time that could be so thin. The laptop is awkwardly sandwiched next to a throw pillow, barely open a crack. Jungkook retrieves it, sets it on his lap as you scamper over to the couch.

“More Phineas and Ferb?” he asks quietly. He hates it, you know he does. And still, he wants to watch it with you.

You nod. “Please.”

He isn’t so concerned with the plot as you, clicking some random episode to start. You snuggle into his side, quietly singing along to the opening. After a moment, Jungkook speaks again. “Phineas and Flirt?” he offers cheekily.

You roll your eyes. “That might’ve been your worst one yet,” you sigh, trying to drown out his indignant huff by focusing on the screen.

“I don’t exactly see you coming up with these,” he points out, obviously feeling wronged.

Without missing a beat you say, “Disney+ and bust.”

epilogue

commercial break one ; the resolution

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

#goldenclosetnet #networkbangtan #bangtanhq #ksmutclub #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jeongguk smut #jjk smut #jeongguk smut #bts smut #jjk♡ #jeon jungkook #mine

[harrywritingsbyme]

The Best Christmas

Based Off Of These Asks since there are so many...I had to make a whole tag for them. 

A/N: I hope everyone had a great day!! Here is my little gift to you guys...some fluffy Christmas smut!! The smut is there and filthy, but I couldn't not give y'all some of the fluffy feels...I just couldn't help myself, so I hope it doesn't suck lol. Also, I’m adding this to A Series of Firsts...Enjoy🙃❤️

Even though this Christmas was a bit bittersweet since neither you nor Harry could spend the holiday with your families, it still managed to make its way to the top of you and Harry’s “Best Christmases” lists. Why? Because it was the very first Christmas you and Harry spent together since the beginning of your relationship. Sure the milestone came about by means of a global pandemic and yes the both of you wished that you could be with your families. But you and Harry were very willing and able to put all of that aside and focus on the positive that is your first Christmas together. Now since you two were living together for the past year (or however long this pandemic has been raging on), and it was your first Christmas, you and Harry made sure to pull out all the stops when it came to decorations and holiday activities. Well it was more so you than Harry on the excitement, but you were more than willing to include him.

Harry had a little bit of an extended break from filming, so once production wrapped for the remaining part of the year, the holidays officially began for you two and it started at the tree farm where you and Harry picked out the best tree you could find for your home. It took a little bit of bickering, a couple pouts here and there, along with some kisses, but the two of you were able to find and agree on the perfect tree. Along with said tree, you also bought tons of decorations for the house. And by tons, you meant tons. There were enough decorations to not only decorate your house, but yours along with someone else’s. While Harry called it crazy and overboard, you called it being festive and in the holiday spirit. And that’s all you really cared about along with essentially making the house a Christmas wonderland because you knew that no matter how much he teased you for it, Harry loved and thought that it was cute, overboard and all.

In the few days leading up to the 25th, you and Harry spent your time binge watching just about every Christmas movie on the planet, dancing around the house to your favorite Christmas music, and baking until you both were in sugar induced comas. Along with taking part in the happy festivities of the season, you and Harry also spent time talking to your families and trying your best at making up for the lack of your physical presence. And while you two were incredibly happy to be having your first Christmas together, it still stung to be away from your families for the first time, especially under these circumstances. But despite this bump in the road, you and Harry remembered the one thing that always got you both through any situation that wasn’t what you’d hoped. You two remembered that you had each other. And that with each other, you were going to have the best Christmas. 

And when the day arrived, it really was the best. 

For starters, you and Harry had the best morning sex ever. Aside from enjoying the seasons festivities together, you and Harry were also enjoying the continued stream of sex. It was absolute bliss to wake up on Christmas morning, nestled deep into the warm covers and tangled up with your lover. Add a round of slow, passionate, soft, and absolutely lazy morning sex into the mix and you were in heaven. And that was the perfect description of you and Harry’s morning. The both of you lazily moved with and against each other as you moaned into each others mouths and brung each other to your releases. It was absolutely amazing and the perfect way to start your day together.

“Merry Christmas baby” You hum softly, bringing your mouth to his for another kiss.

“Merry Christmas bub” He hums back to you with a sleepy smile spread across his face, closing the gap between your mouths. It was only supposed to be one kiss. But given the fact that it was you and Harry, on top of the fact that it was a milestone in your relationship, that kiss quickly escalated to another round of lazy morning sex which unsurprisingly topped the first round. The both of you were already incredibly sensitive from the first time so when you two went at it again, you and Harry exploded around each other.

After regaining the feeling in your lower halves, you and Harry begrudgingly pull yourselves from the warm and toasty bed, throwing the clothes that were strewn about from the night before back on and heading downstairs to call your families and then exchange the gifts you’d gotten for each other. Since it was a bit late in the morning in Los Angeles and there was a sizable time difference between there and London, when the two of you made your calls, the evening had already rolled around back home. But that didn’t stop either of you from gluing yourselves to your computer screens. It was just so nice to talk to your friends and family back home and have that connection even though you were so many miles apart. After talking and catching up with everyone, you and Harry said your goodbyes along with promises of talking more the next day before hanging up completely, leaving you both alone to get your first Christmas together going. To start things off, the two of you moved on to your gift exchange, which was filled with many pleasant surprises. You’d been giving each other gifts for a good while now and none of them topped the ones you’d gotten for each other this year. All of them were absolutely amazing and incredibly thoughtful, and the both of you prided yourselves on giving thoughtful gifts. While Harry gave you all of the gifts he’d gotten for you, you gave all of yours but one. It was special and you were saving it for later on.

But until then, you and Harry decided to have a Christmas themed spa day. After making breakfast, the two of you did everything from taking a warm bubble bath that had a strong and welcomed scent of sweet candy cane, to giving each other facials. The two of you even gave each other Christmas themed nails and had a little competition on who gave the best ones. And in the midst of all of this, the two of you were happily drinking the wine you loved so much while watching your all time favorite Christmas movies (rewatching them because they were just that good), randomly stopping every once in a while for a spontaneous round of sex. It wouldn’t be a Harry and Y/n Christmas if there was no random sex. You just couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. It’d either start off with a kiss that sucked you and Harry down the rabbit hole of pleasure beyond compare or it’d be a simple proposition that neither of you could deny. Either way, the sex was absolutely amazing every single time. 

As the day lingered on, the pampering came to a nice end, (Harry won the nails competition and the both of you had the softest skin in the world), the Christmas movies had ended, and there was only a little less than half a bottle of wine left from the two bottles. The evening was finally coming around for you and Harry and it was getting closer and closer to the end when you would give him his final gift of the day. After taking a little nap to curb the headache that was forming for you both from all the wine, you and Harry made yourselves Christmas dinner for two and completely devoured it before going back upstairs to get ready for bed. The two of you were already on the same page for this process because once you hit the top of the steps you and Harry went right into getting another bubble bath ready. You chose a different scent from the last time, still in the Christmas realm, and you relit the candles that were burning a bit earlier. Once the bathroom is transformed into an aromatic oasis, you and Harry remove all of your clothing and sink down into the warm water and bubbles. 

“Today was a good day.” Harry sighs behind you, breaking the silence and wrapping his arms around your middle, pulling you tighter against him.

“It was.” You reply happily. “First Christmas together, success.” You continue on. 

“It was amazing.” He reminisces, bringing his head down to press a kiss to your temple. “Can’t wait to spend so many more with you baby.” He whispers happily. 

“Me neither.” You reply excitedly, pulling yourself out from his grip and slowly turning around to straddle his lap. “But nothing will beat our first.” You continue, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing your fingers to the hair on the back of his neck. 

“And this is just be beginning of all the first Christmases we’re gonna have lovie.” He says, causing your mind to immediately flicker to your future together and all of the firsts he was talking about.

“I can’t wait.” You whisper as you smile down at him, your voice filled with contentment and happiness from today and for the future. 

“I love you.” Harry says, wrapping is arms around your lower back. 

“I love you more.” You reply, bringing your mouth down to his for a sweet kiss. When your lips connect, sparks go off in your bodies. It was a very familiar feeling to you both but it was also a bit rare of a feeling too. Whenever you and Harry touched or kissed there was always a similar feeling to this one. But this feeling the two of you felt in this moment was ten times the normal feeling. Maybe it was the underlying conversation you two were having about your future together or something, you weren’t completely sure. What you do know is that you never wanted to depart from this feeling. You wanted to relish in it and never let it go. Luckily for you, being with Harry meant that you were going to be feeling this way many more times going forward. 

As the kiss continues on, you and Harry begin to softly move yourselves against each other, getting yourselves a little riled up. When you feel Harry’s cock beginning to harden beneath you, you pull your lips away from his a little. 

“I have another present for you.” You mumble against his lips. 

“What is it?” He questions, tightening his arms around you.

“If I told you right now it wouldn’t be a surprise. But if we get out of here I can give it to you.” You barter.

“Let’s get out of here then.” He agrees excitedly, loosening his arms from around you. The two of you then step out of the tub and right into the fluffy bathrobes your mom sent over for you and Harry. 

“Now you go in there and wait for me on the bed and I’ll be in shortly.” You explain.

“Don’t be too long.” He pouts down at you before pressing a wet kiss to your forehead and walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, leaving you alone to change. As soon as the door closes behind him, you go straight to the cabinet underneath the sink to reveal the box you’d hidden under there the day before. You quickly pull it out and you sit it on the counter before lifting the lid to reveal the lingerie you’d bought for the occasion. Since Harry loved seeing you in it and ripping it off of you, it was the perfect gift to give him. Especially the set you’d picked out. To stay in the Christmas spirit, you bought a sexy Santa lingerie set for him. Now there were many sets out there for you to choose from, but there was one that was just perfect and it was definitely something that Harry would love. There wasn’t much to it, only satin and a little white fur to really give it that Santa feel. It was ruby red and barely there with bows covering both of your nipples, and one covering your folds. There were small ties on the sides of your panties that could and would be snapped by Harry in an instant and there was a little fur lining at the top hem of the tiny panties and the top edges of the barely there cups of your bra. There was an underwire for a little support but the only fabric was the fur and the four sort of thick satin bands that formed the bow right at your nipples. It was absolutely perfect and you thought you looked amazing in it.You do a final once over in the mirror, adjusting the lingerie on your body and pulling the Santa hat onto your head. Once you’re completely done, you take a deep breath and you open the door to enter the bedroom. 

When you walk in, you see Harry sitting at the edge of the bed waiting for you, he didn’t even bother to change out of the robe. When he sees you step out of the bathroom, his jaw drops right to the floor. Harry was so glad the lamp on the bedside table was turned on because he needed to see all of you right now. You looked absolutely phenomenal in the lingerie. The material wrapped around your body perfectly and it accentuated your features. And per usual, there was so much to take in and Harry was in sensory overload with it all. He was literally drooling at the sight of you. The lingerie wasn't the present, the present was you.

“Santa, baby, I just want daddy to fuck me so bad.” You say in an innocent tone as you get even closer to Harry. “That’s all I want for Christmas. I just want daddy to fuck me nice and hard and dirty.” You continue as you climb into his lap. When you do this, Harry stops breathing for a second. He was so overwhelmed from how hard he was now and from how good you looked and from what you said that he forgot how to breathe. “Can I have that Santa?” You pout, moving yourself around in his lap to tease him a little. When you do this, Harry snaps out of his trance and quickly lifts you both up from the edge before throwing you back down onto the middle of the bed. 

“You just can’t get enough huh?” He asks, swiftly undoing the robe and shrugging it from his shoulders before crawling on top of you. “Always wanting daddy t’fuck you.” He chuckles, taking in your appearance below him. “You should be glad that Santa and daddy are the same person doll.” He teases before pulling at the ties to undo them, tossing the garment behind him. He then grips onto your forearms, quickly pulling you up and reaching a hand behind you to undo the bra, tossing it in the same direction as the panties once it’s off your body, leaving you in just the Santa hat that was on your head. Instead of taking your naked body in before digging into you, Harry just digs in. He pushes your legs farther apart before leaning down between them to lick a wide stripe up your already sticky folds, spitting down onto you on his way back up. Harry then wraps a hand around his girthy shaft and gives himself a few tugs before moving to hover over you, resting his forehead right against yours. “I love it when my presents are fuckable.” He whispers as he lines himself up with your entrance and begins to push into you.

“Yes daddy! Your cock f-“ You moan loudly as your eyes roll back, as you immediately reach up to claw at his bicep as he sheathes his large member with your walls. Even after so many rounds on and off throughout the day, you never failed to be stunned at how good it felt for him to be inside you.

“M’gonna fuck you so good baby.” He grunts as he pushes the last bit of his cock up into you. “Gonna fuck you real good.” He breathes out to you. And without wasting any time, Harry begins to piston his hips into you, pushing himself into you as deep as possible. The both of you were moaning messes, enjoying the pleasure that came from Harry’s thrusts. Harry felt right at home from the way your warm walls were gripping onto his cock. No matter how many times he fucked into you, Harry would always consider your walls to be magical. You were always tight, warm, and wet for him; absolutely perfect. As he continued to slam into your cunt, you were falling apart. It felt so good to have him pounding into you like this. It was quick and it was dirty. Harry was continuously and deliciously slamming his cock up into you while you cried out and withered below him from the pleasure. You were getting exactly what you’d asked for. 

The room was filled with your combined moans and cries as Harry continued on slamming into you. The only other sound in the room was the wet sound of his cock moving in and out of your drenched pussy. When his hips begin to slow down and he starts to push and hold his cock inside of you, that was the signal that he was nearing his release. As he did this, you too were rapidly approaching your release. You could feel his cock digging into your sweet spot and you could also feel the curly hairs around his cock pushing back and forth against your tingling clit. 

“Need t’cum daddy!” You cry as you try and connect your mouth with his, beginning to become overwhelmed with your need to let go around him. 

“Cum with me sweetheart.” He slurs, feeling the warmth from his release beginning to flood his entire body. “I got you another present too doll.” He grunts as he delivers a final thrust between your legs, shoving his cock all the way up into the deepest part of your pussy, catapulting you both right over the edge and into your blissful releases. “It may arrive a bit late though” He chuckles though his labored breaths as he continues to flood your walls with his cum. And as he lets go, you let go as well, squirting all over him, getting not only his lower stomach wet but the sheets below you two wet as well.

Once the two of you are completely done, Harry slowly pulls out of you, triggering the thick stream of his cum to begin pouring out of you and onto the wet sheets below. He quickly reaches over to turn the light out and collapses right onto the bed next to you, making to throw an arm around your waist. 

“Maybe next Christmas we can work on your present.” You hum, feeling yourself beginning to doze off.

“That sounds like a plan.” Harry readily and happily agrees before shifting closer to and following after you and drifting off to sleep.

Even though your first Christmas together wasn’t under the best of circumstances, it was still one of the best. All you needed was each other. And once you had that, everything was bound to be perfect. 

Masterlist

#Harry Styles #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry x reade #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles writings #my harry writing #husband!harry #concepts of h #harrywritingsbyme

[the-modernmary]

to be enough || aaron hotchner x gn!reader

Summary: During a movie night with your boyfriend Aaron, you accidentally stumbled onto his old wedding video, and it makes you wonder if you could ever compete with his first love?

A/N: This was an anonymous request, thank you SO MUCH for sending this in!! It’s my first request and it was so much fun to write!! I love soft Hotch so, so much. I’m sorry this took so long to get out. I was sick on and off for like two weeks straight, it was a whole thing. I hope you like this!!

masterlist || read on ao3

“I’ll make popcorn and open the wine, you pick the movie. We’ll meet back on the couch in ten minutes,” Aaron said quickly as he pressed a kiss to your cheek before making his way to his kitchen.

  You giggled at your boyfriend’s eagerness as soon as he opened the door to his apartment. Truth be told, you couldn’t blame him, though. It was rare that the two of you ever really got the chance to just hang out at his apartment. Whenever Aaron was home, he liked to spend as much free time with his son as possible, which you completely understood. So between spending time with Jack and Aaron being away on cases, you lived for these small moments of alone time and domesticity. 

  “You might regret letting me pick the movie, my love,” you called to him jokingly as you sat down in front of his TV, looking for where the remote was hiding. “I am very loyal to my early 2000’s chick flicks.”

  The sound of Aaron’s laughter floating through his apartment made your heart swell. He had never been the tough, FBI unit chief around you, but he was also rarely so carefree and light. There was always a shield around him, especially with the way he would carefully choose his words so as to not give away too much of himself. He was always so guarded and unwavering.

  Aaron poked his head out of the kitchen, hair falling in his eyes. “In the interest of honesty, I’m fully planning on moving this to the bedroom before we even get halfway through the movie,” he admitted, his voice carrying even over the sound of popcorn in the microwave.

You giggled again and shook your head fondly, unable to stop the smile spread across your face at his words. Seeing him be so playful was like a gift — always a surprise, but never unwelcome. You lived for those small glimpses of the man you knew he was.

  Aaron went back to choosing the perfect movie night wine and you settled on the couch, turning on the TV and ready to pick out the goofiest, most feel-good movie you could find. Before you could pull Netflix up, however, the DVD that was already in the television began playing.

  The film was grainy and the camera work was shaky at best, so you weren’t sure exactly what you were watching at first. There was a church in the background and men dressed in nice suits. Kids dressed in their Sunday best ran around in the grass. The camera panned over to a couple who were clearly getting married, going by the big white dress the woman was wearing.

  The camera zoomed in on the couple and your heart dropped to your stomach, because there, right in the center of the screen was Aaron. It was a much younger version of him, of course, probably law school, but it was definitely him. 

  Oh god, this was his wedding video. Which meant that the beautiful, blushing bride wrapped in his arms and making him throw his head back in laughter was Haley.

  Aaron had told you about Haley and everything that had happened between the two of them right up to her murder pretty early on in your relationship with him, but then it was never really mentioned again. But you had heard the whispers on nights out with his team, listened to them all gossip amongst themselves about how “I never thought Hotch was ever going to move on?” .

  Despite every logical bone in your body screaming at you to change the film before Aaron came back into the living room, you couldn’t help but watch in morbid fascination. The Aaron on the screen was so different from the man you had come to love.

  You watched as the film Aaron spun Haley in circles and peppered her entire face in kisses. The entire time, they never once stopped touching each other, even if it was something as simple as holding each other’s hands. Aaron kept glancing over at Haley with the biggest heart eyes you had ever seen, and it was nothing like the way Aaron had ever looked at you. Even when the couple was supposed to be paying attention to the people giving speeches around them, Haley and Aaron kept sneaking glances at each other, mouthing “I love you” like it was the only thing they could think to say.

  Aaron looked so happy and so free and it was so unlike the man in the other room. In the year and a half you had been dating him, you had never seen Aaron with a smile so big. He never gave you PDA so freely, and it wasn’t something you realized you even wanted until you saw him do it with somebody else. Suddenly, you wanted to feel young and reckless and dizzy in love the way he looked back in the film.

  It was unfair to ask him to live every day with you feeling like it was his wedding day, and you knew it. Still, something stirred inside of you that made you crave for Aaron to look at you like that, even just once.

  What you had with Aaron now was safe and a certifiable “adult” relationship. Not to say it wasn’t nice, and there was plenty of passion and fun in it. All of your friends constantly expressed how envious they were that you had found somebody who was so stable yet still unpredictable and could sweep you off your feet with romantic dates under the stars. Being with Aaron felt like home for you, and you had always thought that he felt the same, although now you weren’t sure. It had never occurred to you that Aaron may not have ever really gotten over his first love.

  The microwave beeped, signaling that the popcorn was done and that Aaron would be back in the living room at any second, and you quickly switched the TV to Netflix, clicking whatever movie popped up first, not even bothering to look at the title. 

  Just in time, too, because not long after, Aaron made his way over to the couch, precariously carrying a bowl of popcorn, two wine glasses, and a bottle of a sweet red wine that had become a go-to for you both. He generally preferred red wine, but you hated the dryness of it and basically only drank sweet, dessert wines, so when the two of you found this one, it had seemed like fate. Most of your relationship with him felt like fate, honestly.

  You forced yourself not to think about the fact that Aaron was happily drinking white wine in the wedding video.

  “Either the definition of ‘chick flick’ has changed drastically,” Aaron started, plopping down next to you. “Or Mad Max is very different from what I remember.”

  “I decided to change it up, put on a movie neither of us will be invested in,” you lied, desperately fighting to keep your voice even. “That way we can move right into the bedroom portion of the night.”

  “I like the way you think, sweetheart,” he chuckled, dropping a kiss to the top of your head. His thigh was pressed against yours, but even then, he felt a million miles away from you.

  It was unfair to get so worked up over this whole wedding video thing, and you knew that. His time with Haley had ended long before he had even met you, and logically, you knew that people could fall in love multiple times. Still, that didn’t quell the anxiety that was bubbling in your stomach, making you queasy.

  Why was he even watching that video, anyway? Did he often sit right there on the very couch you were cuddling with him on and rewatch the happiest day of his life? After a date with you, did he ever come home conflicted about his own emotions and feeling guilty for moving on, and go down memory lane to remind himself who his real true love was? 

  You kept thinking about how giddy he had looked in that video, and how easy it had seemed for him to be with her. And Haley… God, how could you compete?

  She was stunning, no doubt about it, with her blonde hair and bright eyes that shined, even through shitty 90’s video camera quality. The pink on her soft-looking lips only seemed to make Aaron want to kiss them more and more, maybe to see if he could smudge her lipstick. It never once budged, though, because of course it didn’t. She seemed too perfect to have faded lipstick on her wedding day. She had floated across the makeshift dance floor, like a fucking Disney princess leaving a trail of fairy dust and sunshine everywhere she went. Everything about her seemed soft and kind and good, all things you had never once associated with yourself.

  It was no surprise that Aaron had decided he was going to marry her from the first time he saw her, as he had said in his vows. She was everything you could have ever wanted to be, and clearly, she was everything Aaron had ever wanted.

  Aaron’s voice snapped you out of your rapid descent into crippling insecurity. “I can hear you thinking from here, honey.”

  You took a long sip of your wine, avoiding his piercing gaze. “I’m just concentrating on the movie,” you lied.

  “The movie you picked specifically so that we didn’t have to pay attention?” he retorted, eyebrows raised. Really, you should have known better than to try and give him such a blatant lie. Aaron reached over you to grab the remote and paused the movie, placing his hand lightly on your knee. “What’s going on?”

  How could you even explain what you were feeling? It definitely wasn’t jealousy, although you almost wished it was. At least with jealousy, you could push it to the side as an awful, gross feeling that comes from years of internalized misogyny and being told that other women are inherently competition for the attention of men. You could deal with that feeling.

  But it wasn’t that at all. Despite Aaron’s obvious devotion to her, you found it hard (and a little twisted, if you were being completely honest) to be jealous of a woman who was violently murdered in her own home in front of her young child. Besides, jealousy would imply that you and Haley were on somewhat equal ground, which you so clearly weren’t. 

  Haley was his high school sweetheart, the love of his life, the woman he had chosen to have children with, and you…

  Well, at one point you thought you could have been that, too, but now you were faced with the fear that you were nothing more than a person to fill the hole in his heart that Haley had left. Even worse, however, was the sinking feeling that you weren’t sure if you were ever going to be enough to fill it completely. 

  “It’s stupid,” you stuttered out, avoiding Aaron’s eyes, which were so full of concern. That was the worst part. It would be one thing if Aaron didn’t love you, but he did love you. Just not in the way he loved her. “Don’t worry about me.”

  “It’s not stupid if it’s bothering you.”

  “I—” You cut yourself off with a sigh and shifted on the couch so that you were facing him. “Am I enough for you?”

  Aaron looked about as taken aback by your question as you felt. You hadn’t meant to burst through the gate with that particular insecurity.

  “Are you enough for me?” he repeated slowly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, like the question didn’t make any sense. In all honesty, it probably didn’t. “If you mean ‘am I happy with you’, then yes. Incredibly. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”

  That should have made you feel better, but it wasn’t the answer you were looking for. You absentmindedly picked at a loose thread on your sweater. “I saw your wedding video,” you admitted shamefully. It felt like you were a little kid getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar. “And, I don’t know… You looked so happy and so… alive with her. That’s a once-in-a-lifetime love, Aaron. I’m never going to be able to be that for you.”

  Aaron’s frown deepened, and for a moment you were worried that he was going to get angry at you for watching the video. Maybe you had tainted that one happy memory for him. But the lines on his face softened just a bit and he covered your hand with both of his.

  “Have you always felt like this?” he asked cautiously, attempting to keep all emotion off his face. “Like you’re not… enough?”

  You shrugged. “Sometimes. If I think about it too much. Especially when we first started dating. But never this intense. I guess since I had only heard stories of her, it was almost like she didn’t exist? But now that I’ve seen her and how you looked at her… I love you so much and I want you to be happy, but I’m scared I can’t be that for you. I’m sorry if I’ve crossed a line, but this has been eating me up from the inside for a while now and I—”

  “Hey, hey, hey,” Aaron cut you off mid-ramble, and you took a shuddering breath. Guilt was written all over him, which made you want to crawl into a hole and never be heard from again. “Have I done anything to make you think I’m unhappy?”

  “No, of course not! You’ve been nothing but wonderful. But I’m not Haley. I can’t make you as happy as she made you. And maybe this is selfish of me, but it hurts to know that you don’t love me the way you loved her.”

  Aaron’s frown deepened, but he still held on tightly to your hand. “I didn’t think you would want me to,” he said, and now it was your turn to be confused.

  You could practically see the gears turning in Aaron’s mind as he tried to find the right words to verbalize the floodgate of emotions that had just opened. Being vulnerable and open about his feelings wasn’t something he was very comfortable with, and it definitely didn't come easy for him. The fact that he was trying and willing gave you some comfort.

  “What I mean to say is…” he backtracked. “You’re right. You’re not Haley and the way I loved her is different from the way I love you. I love you differently because you’re different. And I’m different now, too. But different doesn’t mean less, and it never has. I would never want you to think that you’re just some consolation prize.”

  He was looking at you with such intensity and sincerity that you could have cried. “It’s just that when I realized you had been rewatching your wedding, I kept thinking that maybe she was your one love,” you explained nervously. “I don’t know what that leaves me.”

  Aaron took your hand that he was holding and moved it so that it rested on his chest and you could feel his heartbeat. “My love isn’t finite. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

  You melted into his touch, and it was like the sun came peeking through the storm clouds. He didn’t have the exact same expression that 25-year-old him did on the wedding video, but it was something close. Maybe even something more. It was warm and inviting and felt like coming home after a long day. 

  “You’ve been nothing but the picture-perfect boyfriend,” you assured. “This is all me and my own insecurities. I saw that you had been watching the video and I just… spiraled, I guess.”

  Aaron mindlessly rubbed his thumb back and forth on your hand. “I should probably explain why I was watching it, then.”

  “God, no, you don’t owe me any explanations for what you—”

  “I was showing Jack,” Aaron interrupted, his voice soft. “He doesn’t remember her that much, and he definitely doesn’t remember when we were married. Most of his memories are of fighting or divorced parents. I wanted to show him that his parents loved each other.”

  Your face went hot as embarrassment spread through you. “Wow, that makes perfect sense and I feel like an idiot,” you breathed. “I’m sorry.”

  Aaron pressed a chaste kiss to your lips as he stood up from the couch. “You’re not an idiot, and you have nothing to be sorry for,” he promised. “Come on, let’s get changed into something a little nicer.”

  You looked down in confusion as your movie night outfit. “Why?”

  A mischievous glint flashed in Aaron’s eyes as he bent down and gave you another kiss, one much less chaste than the one before. “Because,” he mumbled against your lips. “I’m going to take you on a date and show you just how much I love you.”

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner x y/n #criminal minds #my writing

[pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird]

That person might not have said top ten but I would like to see the other five underrated animes 👀

(First post) I’LL KEEP ‘EM COMING, I LIVE FOR RECOMMENDING ANIME. I keep changing my mind on which ones to include because there’s so much good shit out there.

By the way, all of the recommendations in this list AND the last one are 26 episodes or less and tell a complete story. No cliffhangers, no “finish the manga to see the finale”, no “where’s the rest of it???” endings. That’s why, for now, Stars Align and Princess Jellyfish still get stuck with the honorable mentions even though what’s been made for both of them is incredible.

1. The Tatami Galaxy (Drama, Introspective)

The director behind Ping Pong the Animation and the original author behind Eccentric Family join forces to make Tatami Galaxy, which capitalizes on the best strengths of both shows. The protagonist is a lonely college student facing the prospect of graduating after having thoroughly wasted his college years. He bemoans how circumstances outside of his control, from conniving fake-friends to selfish and shallow extras, have conspired to ruin what should have been a “rose-colored campus life”, and wishes he could do it over again so he can get it right.

So he does, with the show using avant-garde animation and abstract storytelling to explore all of his threads of what-ifs. The plotlines seem separate but weave together and subtly build on each other, culminating to a finale that explores the meaning of relationships and who you are in the absence of outside forces that can define you. It’s heartfelt, funny, raunchy, and deep, and perfectly encapsulates the existential dread of being in college. I watched it for the first time when I was about to finish undergrad and it hit like an emotional freight train, then I rewatched it during quarantine and it hit like a truck. This is one of my top favorite anime of all time.

2. Re:Creators (Fantasy, action)

Most of the anime I’ve put on these lists get their spots for being deep, nuanced, and delicately crafted. This is not one of them. But, by god, is it one of the most over-the-top fun shows I’ve ever seen. Re:Creators is a rare reverse-isekai. Fictional characters from popular anime, games, and manga suddenly start turning up in the real world, instructed to “find your Creator and reshape the world you came from”. The soundtrack by Hiroyuki Sawano is bar-none one of the hypest things out there; seriously, just listen to Layers, the song for a character from a grimdark everyone-dies series begging her author to tell her why.

The characters in this show are so fun to watch bounce off each other, even if they’re not as “three dimensional” as others. Magical girls fight Stand users, mechs face down scifi-noir detectives, Lawful Good Paladins go toe-to-toe with Chaotic Evil light novel villains.  But by including the artists who imagined these characters as characters themselves, it also has a lot to say about the creative process, the reasons people create, and the relationship between an artist and their work. Between the high-octane fight scenes, there’s a surprisingly human and genuine throughline.

3. Sora no Woto (Slice of life, music, post-apocalyptic)

This show is another of my favorite examples of worldbuilding done right. A young girl joins the army as a bugler because it’s one of the only ways she can learn to play music. The episode plots focus on how she and her tiny regiment of young women stationed at a small town in the middle of nowhere deal with day-to-day troubles, while the details of the world around them slowly fill and round out the picture of a broken society where people still just... live. They still create myths, they still have festivals, they still blow glass and tell ghost stories and make art. The plots seem inconsequential, until the world built into the background becomes too prominent to ignore. The background art and music is some of the most gorgeous I’ve seen. It’s part of a genre I’ve been calling “soft apocalypse” and it’s been one of my favorites for years.

BONUS MENTION: Girl’s Last Tour (Slice of life, post-apocalyptic)

Yes, I’m cheating, but listen. Girl’s Last Tour fits perfectly into the canon narrative provided by Sora no Woto, just set in the far future, a few apocalypses later. It’s got less of a main plot, because there’s almost nothing of society left, just two girls wandering together through an abandoned world. It’s soft, introspective, and bittersweet, showing how humanity is still humanity no matter how few people are left. Despite having nothing about their productions in common, it’s the perfect spiritual successor to Sora no Woto and they deserve to be recommended in the same spot.

4. Tamako Market (+ the movie) (Romance, slice-of-life)

This show is the platonic ideal of a soft, heartwarming, sweet-as-sugar, slice-of-life romance. It follows the daily life of Tamako, a high school girl who lives above a family-owned mochi shop in a shopping center, who is followed around by a talking bird trying to find a bride for his prince in a far-off land. But really the show isn’t about the bird. The show is about love in all its forms. The love that the other families in the shopping center have for Tamako, the love that she and her friends have for each other, the love they have for the activities they’re passionate about, the love you feel when someone makes you a cup of coffee, fated love, childhood crushes, family love.

Something about this show that also stands out is how gently and naturally it incorporates some of the best queer representation I’ve ever seen in anime. One of the shop owners is a kind and soft-spoken trans woman, who is never the butt of a joke, never questioned, never treated as different, loved all the same. One of Tamako’s friends is gay, and her crush on Tamako is treated with as much respect and care as every other moment in the show. This series never makes you flinch for fear of “representation” that turns sour. It’s the epitome of a feel-good show.

5. ACCA 13-Territory Inspection Department (Political, mystery, drama)

Yes, I keep saving my favorites for last on these lists. I can’t describe this show as anything but the perfectly written plot. As a rule, I don’t like political dramas, and this is one of my favorite anime of all time. It’s set in a fictional country, where 13 regions all exist relatively independently under one collective monarchical ruler, and follows Jean, an agent of the independent Inspection Department, which acts as a check and balance to each power. The series begins with Jean being assigned a full review of each territory while the powers-that-be field whispers of a coup. This show masters foreshadowing, intrigue, escalation, and mystery. The stakes build and overlap on scales from intensely personal to national. The pacing is amazing, keeping tension balanced with plot twists that answer more questions than they ask.

Plus, it’s got one of the most visually appealing and stylized openings out there. I realize that political drama isn’t exactly escapism right now, but believe me, this series is worth it.

#my posts #anime recommendations #acca 13 #tamako market #girls last tour #sora no woto #re creators #tatami galaxy #i literally spend HOURS on each of these lists #i love pointing people towards good anime #THERES GOOD SHIT OUT THERE #again if yall dont know about baccano by now just assume im always willing to tell you abt it #my asks #Anonymous

[paradox-psyc-hoe-sis]

Peter Parker Fluff Alphabet

Peter parker x reader

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: None, other than tooth rotting fluff

A/N: howdy! It's been 84 years since I last posted any originals so here's a fluff alphabet, I plan on doing quite a few more in the future! Enjoy - Aphrodite

A - activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Between school, Peter loves to spend time with you in his & May's apartment. He sees the city so much while being spider man, so a cozy night in with pizza and Star Wars is his favourite thing. Peter will try and spend as much time with you as possible, but you both have tight schedules due to being avengers, so he'll take whatever he can get. He always feels guilty about not being able to spend as much time with you as he wants, so sometimes you have to reassure him that any time spent together is time well spent.

B - beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Peter is 100% about personality over looks, and he thinks the most beautiful part of you is your kind and caring nature. He loves your open mindedness and the fact you treat everybody equally, but he also loves the sarcastic and witty side of you. He values your personality loads, but it's just a plus that you're also the most gorgeous person he's ever seen.

C - comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

When you feel down or a bit anxious, Peter can always sense it. He doesn't blatantly tell you, but he always shows you a lot more physical affection to make you feel better. He'll hold your hand and rub small circles on it with his thumb, he'll cuddle up to you and gently massage whatever part of you is closest to him, anything to physically distract you. If you're alone then he'll give you small pecks or the forehead - not only does it make you feel better, but it also makes him feel better too.

D - dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Literally every day. When he's bored in class, when he's trying to get to sleep, when he sees something that reminds him of you; you're on his mind a lot, he absolutely adores you.

E - equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

It depends on the situation. When you're on a mission together and there's even a slight threat, he's automatically dominant and gets very protective of you. But usually he's quite passive, with a hint of dominance when he gets jealous.

F - fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

You and Peter rarely every fight, but when you do have small arguments he's always the first to apologise. The only time you both have had a really serious fight is when you got badly injured after a mission and he got angry that you unnecessarily put your life at risk. However, he was still the first to apologise, as he couldn't stay mad at you for long.

G - gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Oh boy, Peter is SO grateful for everything you do. In fact, he's grateful even when you aren't doing anything. Just knowing that he has the most amazing and kind s/o in the world makes him so thankful.

H - honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

You know pretty much all of Peter's secrets, so there isn't much for him to hide. Even when he does have something he wasn't planning on sharing, he always tells you. He knows you won't judge or tell anyone else, therefore he often uses you as a human diary.

I - inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around?

You and Peter both changed each other for the better. Peter made you appreciate the small things so much more, and has taught you a lot about his favourite things, music, and science. Whereas you've taught him a lot of hand-to-hand combat, and love teaching him your hobbies & the languages you know.

J - jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Peter trusts you completely, so when he sees you spending time with another man then he doesn't really mind. He knows you would never flirt with anyone but him, but as soon as he sees the other person get handsy then he's automatically pissed. He's quite good at hiding his emotions though, so he'd only be slightly passive aggressive towards whoever is flirting with you. He knows you can handle yourself, but sometimes he just wants to make sure people know you're his.

K - kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Your first kiss was amazing. You had been dating for a few months and were spending the night at the avengers tower, in which Peter has a room. You were both cuddled on his bed, eating ice cream, watching Back To The Future when you caught him looking at you. You didn't have time to say anything before he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. Before you could register what was happening, he leaned back with a crimson blush plastered on his cheeks. You cupped his cheek and pulled him back in, this time for longer. His lips tasted of the chocolate brownie ice cream he had been eating, but it was so wonderful and sweet that neither of you will ever forget it.

L - love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

The first time Peter told you he loved you was mid-battle. You, Peter, Sam and Natasha were fighting a group of criminals who were trying to infiltrate Stark Industries - while fighting one of them, you looked over to your boyfriend when you spotted one of the criminals with a knife running up to Peter behind his back. In an instant you jumped over and saved him, using your abilities to your advantage. Once the crimumal was on the floor, Peter laughed, mouth agape, "I love you so much!"

You froze, completely shocked, not knowing what to do. It was only later that evening when you knew what you had to do, so you caught Peter in the hallway of the tower and kissed him, with as much passion as you had in your body. Peter responded quickly, one hand resting gently your waist and the other cupping your cheek. You both stood there for a few minutes, lips working in harmony, before you pulled away and pressed your foreheads together.

"I love you too."

M - marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

You and Peter are still young, so marriage isn't something you both have thought about too much. Despite this, he knows that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, and eventually get married and start a family. He hasn't brought it up with you as he doesn't want to scare you off, but he knows you feel the same way.

N - nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

Peter has loads of cute pet names that he loves to call you, but also has a few silly ones from stupid incidents in the past. He still calls you 'apple' from when you first met and you spilled apple juice all down your clothes, but his signature pet names are 'honey' and, in private, 'baby'.

O - on Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It's very obvious to everyone in the tower and at school that he's head over heels for you. He's constantly making heart-eyes at you, and is always talking about you when you're not around. He compliments you so much that you don't think he's ever said a normal sentence without letting you know how appreciated you are!

P - PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Peter isn't the biggest fan of intense PDA, but would go crazy with it when you're alone. When in public he usually sticks with holding hands, a hand resting on your thigh or around your waist, and small pecks on the temple. When you're alone Peter loves to cuddle, give you small massages of your achy muscles, and would happily kiss you non-stop. But Peter really loves the domestic affection you share, like when he washes your hair or gets to cook with you.

Q - quirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

It's almost like Peter can read minds. If you think about something small that you want, then he'll get you it the next day. You don't know how he does it, but you've always believed that your connection is more powerful than anything you've ever felt. Fancy red velvet cake for dessert? He's already there with a slice. Thinking about rewatching the Harry Potter movies? He'll suggest a move night just in time.

R - Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Peter is very romantic, and likes doing a lot of the cliché things that happen in the movies. But Peter has a lot of creative ideas when it comes to dates and ways to spend time with each other, so you're always in for a good time. He would do anything to make you happy, no matter how cheesy and sappy it is.

S - support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He would do anything to help you achieve your dreams, and will always help you reach success. He studies with you, trains with you, and is there at your beck and call to make sure you know you're supported.

T - thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

You and Peter don't really have a routine, but neither do you spice things up too much. You're always trying new things, and neither of you lead boring lives, so there's always fun stuff to do.

U - understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Pete is extremely empathetic with you, and knows you better than you know yourself. You've been through some stuff that he doesn't know too much about, but he supports you through everything that he can, and you always do the same.

V - value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Your relationship is the most important thing in the world to the both of you, but more so to Peter. He's lost too many people in his life, and the thought of losing you makes him want to die. You're his world, his life, and his one true love, and there's nothing more important to him than the bond you both have.

W - Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Peter and you definitely have different love languages and show love in separate ways, but one thing that unites you both is the love of having you hair played with. When you both are cuddling and drifting off to sleep, peter will run his fingers through your hair, gently massaging your scalp. And sometimes the roles are reversed, you delicately toying with his soft curls, earning small hums of comfort when he feels your warm fingertips against his forehead.

X - XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Kissing and cuddling is Peter's favourite thing. Being soft and vulnerable yet feeling completely safe means the world to him, and it's even better that he gets to do it to you.

Y - Yearning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

He barely copes. When you're on a mission and he's in the tower he has to find somebody to pester because he doesn't have you there to mess around with. Usually he annoys Bucky or Sam, but he'll be clingy with whoever is there until he has you back in his arms.

Z - Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Peter would simultaneously kill and die for you, and sacrifice all he has left in the world. If it made you happy, he'd do whatever you asked :)

#marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #avengers #avengers x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker #marvel x reader #spiderman #spider man #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #fluff alphabet #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #tom holland smut #marvel headcanons #tom holland headcanon #peter parker headcanon #chris evans #robert downey junior #captain america #iron man #natasha romanoff

[dissident-vedder]

- fame ( 𝐄.𝐕. )

ADD YOURSELF TO MY TAGLIST!

you are a famous child actor that eddie has had a crush on ever since he could remember. now that you are a young woman in your twenties filming for the movie 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑒𝑠, maybe it was fate that brought you two together.

A/N - layout by @adoresobs​!  i don’t know, this may suck.

acting had been your passion. ever since you were five years old, you graced the screens of many tvs and movie theaters, going from playing an artist’s daughter on sesame street in 1973 to one of the older orphaned teenagers on the musical annie to a lifeguard on baywatch. your character on the show was taken off due to filming conflicts; they had written her so she got an opportunity to go to college with a full-ride scholarship. all throughout your nineteen-year acting career, young eddie had watched every movie and show you were in, his crush on the [y/r] woman that glorified every monitor you were on.

when he was nine years old, he began rewatching sesame street just because you were on it. his friends at school made fun of him, but they just didn’t understand. they didn’t understand his need to see you on his tv screen, to hear you speak. he began watching baywatch when it came out in 1989 just because he heard you were on it. and he was mesmerized by the way your body fit into that swimsuit, the way you looked so perfect when you ran despite them always putting it in slow motion, the way your hair bounced everytime your foot made contact with the sand. he was in love with every inch of you.

in 1991, when he heard that you were no longer going to be on baywatch, he was disheartened. his favorite actress saving people after they did something he loved to do was addicting to him. he longed to be in their spot. but then he heard that it was due to filming conflicts, and knew immediately that it was because you had other things coming out. when he and his band released their debut album, ten, he hoped it got big enough for them have their names be heard around the world. he hoped you listened to their music, hoped that you loved his voice and the lyrics he wrote, loved the music videos.

close to his birthday in 1991, he heard that you had an interview with david letterman, and he was going to watch it. he had to. he flipped to the channel it was on and waited for you to come onstage. when you were introduced by letterman, the audience cheered as you walked out onstage in a black loose minidress with spaghetti straps, your hair done in the latest style as you waved to the camera, smiling widely as you got nearer to letterman and gave him a hug. it was short, quick, and you say down immediately once the two of you pulled away. the interview went on as usual, david asking you if you had any upcoming projects, you answering them vaguely, and you recounting stories from the photos he showed, laughing at the funny bits, blushing when you got to an embarrassing detail that involved you, and nodding to show you understood the question you were being asked. “have you been eyeing anybody as of now?” letterman asked. “you’ve been single since you debuted in acting back in 1973, and now you are a twenty-three year old woman, and no sign of a lover!” the audience chuckles at him.

“um. . .” you laugh a little. “i haven’t been seeing anybody, i’m a busy person, so i don’t have much time even for myself, let alone somebody else. but god. . .” you rubbed your elbow, a telltale sign you were a bit nervous. “eddie vedder from the band pearl jam is really cute. i wouldn’t mind meeting him.”

“that’s who your eyeing?” letterman asks. you nod, and eddie feels his heart swell in his chest. you knew who he was. you knew his band, you listened to him, watched his interviews. “yeah,” you defend, “i like energetic guys with blue eyes and long brown hair. he’s cute.” someone in the audience whistles and cheers, causing you to laugh. “he is! i’d love to meet him someday.” eddie’s palms begin to sweat, his eyes widen and he begins breathing heavily. he was your type. you liked him.

“have you listened to their album?”

“i’m sorry?” You turn your attention back to letterman.

“have you listened to pearl jam’s album?”

“yes, i have!” you nod. “it’s amazing!”

“what’s your favorite song?” letterman organizes the pile of notes in his hand, the rhythmic sound of the pat, pat, pat sounding loudly through eddie’s tv speaker. you click your tongue, leaning back in your chair, hands holding on to the armrests.

“oh, god, that’s hard,” you thought for a moment. “it’s a tie between oceans, garden, and black.” your hands tap against the rests three times — left, right, left. “it’s hard to choose, he’s got such a dreamy voice!” you chuckle, trying to calm yourself down as the small weepings of your crush begin to come out of you. they’ve done some interviews for their album and a few live shows, which you’ve watched as much as you could in order to see the frontman, loving the way he was so energetic and full of happiness.

the rest of the interview went by in a blur for you and eddie, and he went to bed, your face imprinted on the backs of his eyelids as he fell asleep.

a few short months had passed before eddie and the rest of the band were asked to come on-set to act out their very few scenes, not knowing who else, other than matt dillon and chris cornell, were going to be there. you were off-camera, readjusting your jean jacket sleeves as matt and the others were getting ready for the restaurant scene. eddie was sitting across from matt, on the edge of the seat, sharpie in hand as he listened to what jeff was reading about the fictional band, citizen dick. you noticed him, hair tucked behind his right ear as he said one of his only lines, “a compliment for us, is a compliment for you.”

cliff, matt’s character, begins to object, when you were given the clue to get on-set and sit next to matt, as you were playing his childhood friend, ruby. eddie’s face showed momentary shock as you sat on matt’s left thigh — as was scripted — and took a sip of the coffee from his cup. “i’m guessing you all read the news article about you, huh?” you restated the line you read over and over in your home and in the dressing room, your arms crossing in front of you and you begin leaning on them, forearms pressed against the wood.

“yeah,” matt placed his hand on your hip, sensing that you had gotten a little wobbly and was making sure you didn’t fall. “this negative energy just makes me stronger.” you chortle into the cup, “sure.”  the watch your character wore began beeping, alerting you to act as if you were rushing. “i have to go, see you all later!” a chorus of deep, male, “bye!” follows you as you walked over to the diner’s door and walk out. the director yelled out, “cut!” and all of you knocked out of character.

standing in line to grab a quick lunch, you eyed the crowd, in search of the frontman of the grunge band, quickly recognizing him by his bandmates, his blue eyes frantically looking around. once he spotted you looking at him, his cheeks flare up, heat rushing into them as he looked back to his friends. he wanted to come up to you and talk, but he was just too shy, too flustered to make any real conversation, let alone any small talk. if only he had the confidence one of his former classmates had, then he would make conversation, ask you out on a date and just overall be with you. noticing his hesitation, you planned to talk to him later when he was away from his bandmates just so he was at ease in some form and they weren’t around to make fun of him; you could at least do that much for him. 

“eddie!” you called out as he walked away from your direction, not noticing you sitting on one of the couches in the lounge area, standing up from the comfortable cushion to make your way over to him. he paused midstep, recognizing your voice instantly, heartrate picking up at the thought of you talking to him, hearing your footsteps coming closer to him. clenching his hands in his jacket pockets, he takes a deep breath before facing you, blue eyes wide as he eyes your figure coming closer to him, a reassuring smile sketched on your lips. “are you alright? you look a little nervous,” you stated, eyebrows furrowing as you noticed the somewhat deep breaths the frontman took.

“yeah,” he blushes deeper. “y-yeah, i’m fine.” he clears his throat. “what are you doing here?” 

“i work here,” you chuckle lowly, crossing your arms across your chest. “but are you okay, really? remember, i’m an actress. i can tell when someone is acting or not.”

so you saw through his lie, he noted. “um. . . i’m just nervous to be around you, that’s all.”

“why?”

“’cause he has a crush on you, that’s why!” mike’s voice calls out through the studio, causing eddie’s blush to become deeper and to spread across his ears, his head bowing to hide his face. 

“really?”

a nod. you took a step forward, reaching forward to take the cook county native’s face in your hands, moving it so it faced you, a small smile on your lips, reassuring and warm. “you want to take this somewhere your bandmates wouldn’t interfere?” 

another nod.

“okay, come on,” you took his hand in yours, leading him through the many corridors and crew members to what was your dressing room, a private place that was rare nowadays. “sit anywhere you’d like.” there was the makeup chairs you sat in every single day, multiple times a day, a sofa in the corner of the room, and a director’s chair with your last name stamped onto the back. he took the sofa, hearing you lock the door behind you, giving you and him more privacy. “i’m sorry your friend did that,” you said as you made your way to the makeup chair, one foot still on the floor while the other was resting on the crosshatched wood pieces between the legs of the chair. you did it to give him the space he possibly needed, but to eddie, it seemed like you were avoiding him. his heart broke even more. 

“i should’ve expected that, if i’m being honest,” he chuckled, trying to get rid of the embarassment that settled deep in his bones, but you still saw the blush that was slowly creeping away. 

“they still had no right to do that,” with this, you stand up, make your way across the room, and sit down next to him, taking his hand in yours. they were warm; rough at the fingertips at the many years of playing guitar. you could feel the small calluses that were healing, the small imprints of the guitar strings, telling you that he had been playing recently, locked away in some small room. you sighed, “today is your last day here on set. i didn’t get to spend enough time to know you, but i got to talk to your bandmates.”

he nods, “yeah, i guess time works in mysterious ways.”

“but it doesn’t have to. how about i take you out to dinner?”

shocked, his head snaps up, peering into your [y/e/c] eyes, round and hopeful. “really?” you nod, laughing when you see his smile widen. “yes, really.”

“i’d love to!”

TAGLIST:

@stateofloveandvedder​ @state-of-love-and-lust​ @honeysympathy​ @grossgold​ @sea-sxns​ @d-arknecessities

#eddie vedder #eddie vedder icons #ed vedder #eddie vedder smut #eddie vedder imagine #mike mccready #stone gossard #jeff ament #matt dillon #pearl jam imagine #pearl jam #pearl jam fan #pearl jam fanfiction #imagine eddie vedder

[mhaccunoval]

dude, could you give me movie recommendations then??

mainly i said i should stop giving recommendations because my movie tastes and opinions are Wack sbshjsbjhsbs but i will make an exception <3

i mostly just scoured my letterboxd (@/eroscalling ;] ) for movies i’ve really liked in the past year or two so sorry if you’ve seen some sbshjsbsh a lot of brain worms here sbsjhbshs

❥ freaked (1993)

it was inevitable that something alex winter and/or keanu reeves would show up on here but HERE ME OUT !!! you may think to yourself in the first ten minutes that ‘WOW this is terrible’ and you’d be right because the comedy IS awful except. it’s SO awful you have to laugh. and THEN it gets better from there, i swear. there’s the dichotomy within ricky over being himself AND a monster, some found family, and a happy (yet still hilarious) ending to it all. it’s quite insanity inducing 

[actual description: child star ricky coogan is interviewed on the story of him flying out to a small country in south america to help promote a fertilizer that’s been banned in the US, only to end up at a desolate freak show with his two companions (one new, one old) and have to find a means of escape after a mad scientist has turned them into attractions themselves]

———

❥ private romeo (2011)

another one i’ve been kinda back on my bullshit about sbshjsbsh but it’s SO good !!! i’m sure there are other gay romeo & juliet adaptations out there but this one is just. amazing and sets itself apart from all of the others. seth numrich and matt doyle’s acting and chemistry? IMMACULATE !!! pretty early on the dialogue switches from modern speech to recitation of lines from the play but everyone’s body language and interpersonal relationships with one another really SELL the plot and help you understand it, even if the words are a bit difficult for the average person to comprehend (also it was the film yassen and i got together because of so sbshjbshs)

[actual description: one weekend, the higher ranking officers and a few top qualified students at a military academy go on a training retreat, leaving a decent sized group of students at the academy unsupervised and with their copies of romeo & juliet they’re beginning to read in their english/literature class; as the weekend progresses, two students, sam and glenn, begin to realize that their feelings for each other have bloomed and progressed, causing them to do their best to stay together]

———

❥ the personal history of david copperfield (2019)

I JUST THINK THIS MOVIE (and dev patel) IS NEAT !!! i have no basis on how it compares to other adaptations or the book but i reallyyyy like this one as it is !!!  i think the dynamic transitions in the timeline and the coloring work REALLY well in moving the plot forward and making every character, or at least every event in david’s life, very unique and stand out from each other. and i LOVE the cast... love the inclusion of at least a Few actors of color and just the way everyone plays off each other... it’s just so wholesome and the adventure really grips you every second

[actual description: following the publishing of his book, autobiographer david copperfield reads it aloud in front of a theatre audience, detailing the shenanigans and relationships he’s grown up with and how they’ve affected, creating the person that he is today]

——— 

❥ billy elliot (2000)

everyone say thank you to young jamie bell for your rights. yeah no this movie is SO heart-clenching AND heartfelt... at first you’re just like ‘yeah, you know, this is alright’ but then it punches you in the feels... just... billy’s journey to find something he’s passionate about and actively pursuing that passion... his relationship with michael and his family... the general atmosphere created by the hardships at the time and how they reflect on the elliotts’ home life... the only reason i haven’t gotten around to rewatching it is because i know it will make me SOB...

[actual description: young billy elliott is the son of a miner in northern england during the mid 80s, dealing with how the miners’ strikes his father and brother are partaking in are affecting their financial situation while simultaneously coming to terms with a small interest in ballet and trying to chase that interest, in spite of what his father and society have to say about it]

———

❥ the half of it (2020)

yes another gay film and another coming of age film <3 what of it <3 it’s so good and unconvential though... it’s not your typical nerdy girl and jock get together at ALL— spoiler: it’s no where close to even being a plot point. paul and ellie’s friendship is !!! so beautiful though !!! there’s so much trust and platonic love there !!! and also !!! a chinese MC which, as we all know, is very rare in hollywood, especially under uh ellie’s ‘circumstances’... it’s yet another heart-clencher and is just very feel good...

[actual description: realizing he has a crush on one of the most popular girls in school, young paul turns to the girl in his grade who everyone pays to write their essays for them, as he’s not the most eloquent writer himself, and asks if she’ll help him write his crush love letters to win her affection; ellie is at first reluctant, but eventually realizes the money could help keep her and her father afloat, finding some feelings of her own along the way]

———

❥ the farewell (2019)

i was going to stop at five but i couldn’t decide between this or the half of it so you get both !!! the farewell is soooo sweet and tear-jerking... you get a real sense of the main family’s bond and love for each other, as well as a bit of a culture shock if, like me, you’re a westerner who doesn’t know the full extent of the intricacies of chinese families and the culture in general. every character is unique and dynamic, each having wonderful portrayals of their individual flaws and reactions to every step of the journey that they’re going through. not to mention, i would assume a lot of first gen / children of immigrants can really relate to billi’s experience of basically having two halves of herself, the american side and the chinese side, and the struggles that come from being thrown into that situation... it’s just... Perfect

[actual description: billi is a young woman in her 20s who is having trouble managing her life, only to have to put it on hold when her parents reluctantly tell her that her grandmother has been diagnosed with lung cancer and that the family is going to come together in case this is their last opportunity to; the twist is that they all must keep it a secret from the grandmother that she is even sick, which is a secret billi has a hard time keeping]

#movie reccs #i nearly lost my mind because i lost what i first typed up for freaked and private romeo #all because of desktop's note tab direct #town-queer #pant rambles #and then i nearly forgot to finish this for you!!! my apologies!!! #honorable mention: you me and him #such a silly little movie with lesbians and david tennant (but will also kick you in the feels ;-;)

[dreamingofscully]

6x19. “The Unnatural” - X-Files Rewatch

“Mr. Mulder-- maybe you'd better start paying a little less attention to the heart of the mystery and a little more attention to the mystery of the heart.” - Arthur Dales

The gifs in this post are by @trusttnno1​ and are used with permission! (Check out the full The Unnatural baseball post here.)

Here it is y’all. I think Mulder and Scully became romantically involved after this episode. I know it’s not a commonly held theory, but I love this idea and I think there’s sufficient canon to support it. However! I’m not trying to say my ideas are somehow superior, or that I am attempting to convert everyone to my thinking. I don’t want you to abandon your headcanons if you love them, but if you’re curious about mine, then continue reading and let me know what you think! But just as I respect your theories, I’d hope you’d have the same respect for mine.

Read on for analysis!

Poor Scully lugging the giant books. She complains about being inside on a sunny day, but you’ll notice she frames it as a question towards Mulder: “Mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?”

She’s saying, in essence, I’M HERE, HELLO?!

Also I love the connection to the ending. Scully wanting to be outdoors and to enjoy time away from work, then Mulder inviting her outdoors later specifically separate from their work.

Her cute face when eating her dreamsicle. She is in SUCH a different place here than the last scene we saw her in - the ending of “Milagro”. This is one of the main reasons I see the shift in their relationship happening around this time rather than in season 7. Scully is playful, very smiley, joking around. She has a lightness about her that we have so VERY rarely seen. Something’s different - I think she’s ready and that she’s just waiting for him to be ready as well. She is super flirty with him.

Mulder’s “Ugh. Bet the air in my mouth tastes better than that. You sure know how to live it up, Scully.”

Why don’t you test that theory? 

Also, WHO exactly is the one pouring over records in the office, calling her in over a weekend? WHO exactly needs to learn to “live it up”? 

Scully’s throwing all the hints Mulder’s way but he’s still SO FOCUSED on the work. I think he intended to invite Scully to the office to just spend time with her, because he doesn’t know how to spend time with her otherwise. He feels he doesn’t have the right, or that she wouldn’t want to, or that he can’t have her and his quest at the same time. 

The picture of them is now ON THE WALL instead of sitting on the desk. I guess Mulder is done his feathering. I’m wondering at the symbolism of that, though. No longer just placed on a counter, with the lamp pointing at it, but attached to the wall WITH PERMANENCE. 

How apt is it that Mulder leaves on a case, distracted by it, forgetting that he called Scully here for a different purpose (just to have her near)? VERY.

Scully’s face when he tears out the page in the book, contrasted with her very turned on face and saying “Rebel”. She’s generally a rule follower, but… she’s willing to break them under very particular circumstances. And enjoys it when doing so. 

***

I really enjoyed the Exley story. It was a wonderful tale that I seem to forget about because it’s sandwiched between some of the best MSR we’ve ever gotten in the show. But, this analysis is about the MSR so that’s what I’m going to focus on.

“What you fail to understand in your joyless myopia is that baseball is the key to life-- the Rosetta Stone, if you will.” - Arthur Dales

All of Mulder’s questions can be answered by baseball. So what does he do at the end with Scully? He shares baseball with her.

“Agent Mulder, do you believe that love can make a man shape-shift?” - Dales “I guess… women change men all the time.” - Mulder

Dales goes on to say he’s not talking about women, and Mulder is being non-specific about being changed - but it is 100% the case that he’s changed since Scully has come into his life. It doesn't really have to do with the fact that she’s a woman, but that she’s SCULLY. He’s learned to only trust the right people, that she loves him and he might even be worthy of it, but he still has some ways to go.

Dales’ “heart of the mystery/mystery of the heart” comment. Just… !!!!! He encourages Mulder to think about things other than his obsession with the X-Files. That there is more to life than his endless pursuit of the Truth.

Dales calls his baseball figure “Pete Rosebud”. A reference to Citizen Kane? A name spoken on a deathbed that doesn’t get solved, but it’s related to the last happy moments of the character in the movie. The suggestion that trying to solve the mystery on its own is doomed to failure, that there is something else worth pursuing.

Mulder’s love for baseball brings him back to his childhood, when he was happy (see “Home”) and his thoughts about settling down and having a family, remembering his childhood by the smell of the baseball. He wants to give that to Scully.

The love Exley has for baseball - it changes him. Mulder changes, or vows to change, by the end. This is the awakening he needed. He doesn’t HAVE to have a singular, obsessive focus on his quest in order to be successful. In fact, the suggestion that he CANNOT be successful if he pursues his Truth above all else in his life.

Just because something is mundane, like love, doesn’t mean it isn’t the purpose, the reason behind it all. This doesn’t mean he should discount all the complicated stuff, that he should “get out of the car” like Scully seems to want, but that he should INCLUDE it in his life alongside all the rest. His focus has been solely his work. He lives there, considers it his home, and was lost when it was taken away. He needs to round out his life to give it a stronger purpose.

After hearing how baseball changed Exley, whether he believes it or not, the message is there. Mulder thinks more about simple things - love, baseball. Perhaps he can change too?

For a while now Scully has been questioning her priorities and trying to get Mulder to leave the X-Files, to abandon the quest that she sees as never ending and having no hope of a satisfying conclusion. She feels she has no chance for a relationship with him as long as he is so focused on his quest - and she is partially correct. Dales’ words, and Mulder’s reminder of happier times, gets him to take that next step, showing Scully he’s ready to expand his universe to include more than his quest.

So, he invites Scully to play baseball with him.

And not just… tossing balls at her and giving her a few tips. Wrapping himself around her, speaking closely into her ear, making her laugh, his hand lingering on her hip. It’s SO MULDER, and so very intimate and romantic.

“Hips before hands.”  ❤️   

“I’m in the middle.”  ❤️ 

And Scully’s giggle.  ❤️ 

Not to mention baseball metaphors/idioms. They are literally hitting home runs. Hitting it out of the park. Together, they write their future in the stars.

I can’t imagine them waiting minutes, never mind months, to release all the pent-up passion they’re been withholding for years after this moment. Scully’s ready, and Mulder decides to take a chance, to expand his world to include a relationship with her. Not abandoning his quest, but making it stronger by including Scully, by having her closer at his side for it. 

By focusing on the mysteries of the heart as well as the heart of the mystery.

End Note/Future Discussions/Disclaimer I’ll address such things as the Amor Fati confessions/dream, the Millennium kiss, and the conclusion of the Samantha arc when it comes to those episodes.

#xfiles #x-files #x-files rewatch #x files rewatch #msr #mulder and scully #fox mulder #dana scully #season 6 #atths

[brentwatchesmovies]

Brent’s Top 10 Movies of 2019

Scorsese is probably my favorite living filmmaker, but I’ll be honest, when I heard that Scorsese was making this movie, and *how* he was making it (heavily digital de-aged actors) I was a bit skeptical. De Niro and Pacino haven’t been turning in interesting performances in quite awhile, and Pesci came out of a decades-long retirement for the movie as well. On top of that, the first trailer released did little for me. All that to say I was an idiot to doubt the master.

Scorsese returns to the crime genre that he re-invented many times over the years, this time with the eyes of a man in his 70’s, looking back on his life and career. The movie is very long, but in my opinion, it needs the length. The viewer needs to *feel* the totality of a life, and as is his intent with The Irishman, the *consequences* of this specific life. The final hour or so of this movie feels like a culmination of Scorsese’s career in many ways. The energy and entertainment of a crime/mob epic, with the fatalism and philosophical leanings of a movie like ‘Silence’. It’s a 3.5 hour movie that I’ve already rewatched, and actively want to again, so that alone ought to speak volumes.

Harmony Korine made one of my favorite movies of the 2010’s, the neon-soaked and often misunderstood ‘Spring Breakers’, so I was already in the bag for whatever he did next. When I heard it was a freewheeling stoner comedy where Matthew Mcconaughey plays a guy named ‘Moondog’ costarring Snoop Dogg, I reserved its location on my top 10 list.

This movie doesn’t have the empty heart at its core that defines Spring Breakers, opting instead for a character study about a ‘Florida man’ poet after his life pretty much falls apart. It’s basically plotless, stumbling from one insane, borderline hallucinatory sequence to the next, but I just loved living in the world of this movie. Beach Bum almost feels like a deliriously fun VR simulation of hanging out with Matt McConaughey and his weirdo friends down in the Florida keys. This is one that probably won’t pop up on many top 10 lists but I really adore, and will surely rewatch it a dozen times in the years to come.

Let the record show, I’ve been a huge fan of Bong Joon-ho since I first saw his monster movie/family drama ‘The Host’. Some time later, he went on to make ‘Snowpiercer’, one of my favorite movies of the last decade. All that to say, I think Parasite is probably his best movie, and a true masterwork of thriller direction. It also has his usual brand of social commentary and a script filled with darkness and humor, following a South Korean tendency to juggle multiple tones throughout, sometimes all in one moment or scene.

Parasite also follows a big 2019 trend of commenting on class and social dynamics between the rich and the poor. I think that’s part of why it’s done incredibly well at the box office (especially for a Korean language film), the fact that people can relate in a huge way, regardless of which country your from. Parasite is one of the most entertaining movie viewing experiences I’ve had this year and I’d recommend everyone check it out.

If you were to ask me what the funnest movie-going experience I had in 2019 was, I’d have to pick Rian Johnson’s ‘Knives Out’. Hot off making one of the best Star Wars movies ever made (don’t @ me) Johnson decided to make a passion project in the vein of classic Agatha Christie style murder mysteries, and the results are a total blast. Filled with clever twists and turns, weaponizing the structure of murder-mysteries against the audiences expectations, it stays one step ahead of you the entire time.

Aside from the clever mystery of it all, it’s the actors performances and chemistry that really sell this thing. Jamie Lee Curtis and Toni Collette are expectedly great per usual, and Daniel Craig is having the time of his life as Mississippi private-eye Benoit Blanc, but the heart of the movie is relative newcomer Ana de Armas. She brings an emotional weight and anchor to the movie that always keeps you emotionally invested amidst the terrible, money hungry backstabbing by the other heightened characters. I hope everyone sees this movie and Johnson is able to give us another Benoit Blanc adventure somewhere down the line, I’ll be there opening day.

Nobody makes an upbeat, feel-good movie like Ari Aster does! After last years light and breezy ‘Hereditary’ (which I liked a lot but didn’t totally love) he’s back with a completely riveting and emotionally draining (not to mention horrific) masterpiece. What I connected to most in Midsommar is the journey of Dani, played incredibly by Florence Pugh. The way the film portrays the relationship between her and her dog shit boyfriend played by the (usually) charming Jack Reynor keeps you invested in every twist, perfectly paced out over the movies admittedly long runtime.

I won’t get into spoiler territory, but where this movie goes in the end is what makes this a fully 5-star movie for me. After putting you through hell, like Aster loves to do with bells on, Midsommar ends in a euphoric, psychedelic orgy of music and violence that I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Midsommar rules so hard and I can’t wait for whatever twisted thing Aster cooks up next.

One of my increasingly favorite brands of movies is a finely crafted, primo slice of dad-movie cinema, and James Mangold has made one with Ford v Ferrari. The story chronicles the partnership of ex-racer and designer Carroll Shelby and racer Ken Miles as they work to make a Ford that can compete in the 24 hour race of Le Mans. Bale and Damon are a blast to watch bounce off each other and the race sequences are pretty damn thrilling, combining (what I expect is) a solid amount of great VFX with practical racing to great effect.

I also didn’t expect it to have as much to say about the struggle to create something special by passionate people and not committees while also inside the very machine that churns out products on an assembly line. Just a random note, this original movie was just put out by 20th Century Fox, now owned by Disney but that’s completely unrelated and I’m not sure why I’d even bring that up??? Anyway, I love this movie and dads, moms and everybody else should check it out.

If you saw my list last year, then it must appear like I’m some diehard Mr. Rogers fan. I don’t really have many memories watching his show as a child, but what the documentary ‘Won’t You be my Neighbor’ and this film by Marielle Heller have in common is a shared fascination of his immense empathy and character. It’s only right that America’s dad Tom Hanks should play him, and I was surprised at the end that I was able to get over his stardom and accept him as Rogers. He’s not doing a direct impersonation, and I think it’s all the better for it, instead opting for matching his soft tone and laid back movements.

On a pure emotional level, this movie was a freight train. It didn’t help that the movie covers a lot of father stuff, from losing your own to becoming one yourself (2 big boxes on the Brent bingo card). Heller’s direction is clever in its weaponizing of meta/post-modern techniques, such as one incredible fourth wall break in a diner scene. It literally breaks down the barrier between Mr. Rogers, we the audience, and the films intent to make us feel something.

I cry a lot at movies, that much is well known, but it’s rare that a movie makes me weep, and this one did. Even thinking about scenes right now, days later, my eyes are welling up with tears thinking about the messages of the movie. Mr. Rogers and his lessons of empathy and emotional understanding have rarely been as vital and important as they are right now in our world.

Robert Eggers first film ‘The Witch’ from 2015 is one of my favorite movies of this decade, possibly of all time, so my hype for his black and white, period piece two-hander ‘The Lighthouse’ was through the roof. Even with sky-high expectations, it still blew me away. With dialogue reminiscent of The Witch in its specific authenticity to its era, to the two lead actors giving all-time great performances, It was one of the most entertaining film viewing experiences I had this year.

There’s something about both of Egger’s movies that I really keyed into watching this one: his fascination with shame and the liberation from it. Where Witch was from the female perspective, Lighthouse literally has two farting, drunk men in a giant phallic symbol fighting for dominance. It’s less a horror film than his first, but still utterly engrossing, demented and specific to his singular vision. I can’t wait to see 20 more movies from this guy.

This is another big movie of 2019, like The Irishman, where you can see the director looking inward, at what his films mean and represent. It initially caught me so off guard that I really didn’t know how to feel about it, but after seeing it again, it’s one of my favorites of the year, and probably Tarantino’s filmography overall. More akin to something like Boogie Nights or Dazed and Confused, letting us live with and follow a small group of characters, it mostly doesn’t feel like a Tarantino movie (until the inevitable and shocking explosion of violence in the third act, of course).

‘Hollywood’ is the most sincere and loving movie Tarantino has made, interested in giving us a send off to an era of Hollywood and artists that have been lost or forgotten (Some more tragically than others). In the end, the movie functions similarly to ‘Inglorious Basterds’ in it’s rewriting of history to give us catharsis. “If only things could have worked out this way.” Luckily in movies, removed from the restrictions of reality, they can. And once upon a time in Hollywood, they did.

Uncut Gems probably tripled my blood pressure by the time the credits rolled. A slice-of-life story about a gambler/dealer in New York’s diamond district, the movie follows Howard Ratner, played by Adam Sandler in easily the best performance of his career. Ratner is basically addicted to living at the edge of a cliff, being chased by violent debt collectors, juggling a home life and a relationship with an employee, and fully relying on risky sports bets to stay afloat. It makes for a consistently tense and unique viewing experience, expertly directed by the Safdie brothers.

Something that might not work for everyone but that I personally loved, is the chaotic way in which the movie is shot. What feels like loosely directed scenes, with characters talking over each other and multiple conversations happening at once, adds an authenticity and reality lacking from most other movies. It’s more adjacent to Linklater (thanks to Adam for the comparison) or Scorsese’s earlier films (also fitting, that he’s a producer on this). Following Howard Ratner as his life descends into chaotic hell was one of the best times I’ve had watching a movie this year.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

AVENGERS ENDGAME

DOLEMITE IS MY NAME

BOOKSMART

JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3

THE FAREWELL

AD ASTRA

#top 10 #movies #2019 #top 10 movies #midsommar #uncut gems #the irishman #martin scorsese

[purplesurveys]

1188

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? I did it a couple of times with a past girlfriend, but I’m honestly not a fan of it unless I’m somewhere with a serious lack of bathrooms and it’s the only choice available. I like my space when I get myself all cleaned up lol.

What kind of pizza toppings do you like?  Different kinds of cheeses do it for me, really. If I absolutely have to pick toppings, I do like bacon, bell peppers, barbecue chicken, or onions on my pizza.

When did you first take a shot of alcohol?  I have no idea, actually. Maybe 20? 21? I never noted the year down. I don’t even know the first shot I ever took...if I had to guess, it was probably tequila.

Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? No. I babysat because I was the eldest daughter and granddaughter in an Asian household, haha.

Who is your favorite band? How long have they been?  Paramore; 17 years, have loved them for 14.

Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? Many times. She used to be a welcome guest.

Have you ever been to a spa?  I don’t think I’ve ever entered one, no. There’s been no reason to in the past.

When talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear? Right. I don’t remember ever placing it on my left, come to think of it.

What’s your favourite Lunchables meal?  Idk, I’ve never had them. American thing, I’m guessing.

Do you like Bob Marley?  I don’t hold an opinion on him; I’ve never tried listening to his music.

Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Nope, I don’t know what that is, either.

Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family?  Yes, we have dinner together every night. We’ve been doing it since the start of the pandemic; and, with that, since my dad has had to stay at home since he can’t report to work anyway considering the situation. I imagine we’d be back to eating separately once he can report back to his job.

Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to?  Yeah, I’m listening to Map of the Soul: 7 and UGH! just started playing. This is such a good FUCKING album it’s absolutely insane how good it is. Whatever spirit possessed BTS throughout 2019 to produce an album this unbelievable wasn’t playing.

Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile?  Hobi, since I rewatched the Run BTS segment where he called Conan O’Brien ‘Curtain.’

Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? No.

Do you like men who have a sensitive side?  I think it’s nice when anyone has a sensitive side and isn’t ashamed to be in touch and expressive with their emotions. Doesn’t have to apply to just guys.

Have you ever tried to get someone into a certain band/artist?  I don’t do that with any of my interests because I don’t want to potentially irritate or bore someone, or to potentially face the disappointment I’d feel when they don’t end up being enthusiastic about what I’m into. I’m totally okay with my interests just being My Thing, no need to drag other people into them.

Have you ever carved you and someone else’s initials into a tree?  Nopes.

Do you like Dairy Queen?  Just some items, like their Oreo Frappe or whatever it’s called. I’m not a big fan of ice cream cakes and I’ve never really explored their Blizzards.

Is there anyone you know with an amazing personal success story?  Andi.

Is there a song in a different language that you can sing? Well Filipino is my first language rather than English, so yes.

How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts?  I’ve never experienced this other than One Direction using fireworks at the end of their concert here (and they weren’t launched from the stage either, but somewhere backstage), so I don’t really know what to feel about this other than they should just make sure they’re following safety protocols and standards to avoid mishaps.

Ever fallen down a hole?  I don’t think so.

Do you like bananas?  Not so much, but I don’t passionately hate it as much as I do other fruits. I do like some dishes that incorporate banana, like banana bread and banoffee pie. Recently I discovered Korean banana milk and it ended up tasting pretty good!

How long do you normally spend in the shower? Not even 10 minutes, usually. I've never understood how people can take such long showers. < Yeah, pretty much on the same page. The only times I take a while is if I feel like shaving, but otherwise I shower quickly. Maybe around 4–7 minutes at most.

Have you ever been a featured member on any website?  I don’t think that ever happened, at least when having featured members was still a thing.

Have you ever had any weird pets?  Nope.

Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone?  I am not. Though I know I have unread messages from Andi...I just don’t feel like checking them right now.

Have you ever experienced insomnia?  Only when I was a teenager. It’s been a while since I’ve faced any trouble in trying to fall asleep.

Do you like egg nog? I’ve never had a chance to try it but it sounds delicious, and I would definitely take a sip the first opportunity I get.

Would you ever wear Converse with a prom/formal dress?  I don’t see why I would have to but if it’s just for funsies, it sounds pretty harmless so yeah, I would.

Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows?  Withoooooooooout. I’ve never understood marshmallows.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?  In a romantic sense, none. But I’ve cried for other reasons, like when I mourned over my grandpa and Nacho.

Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician?  Surgeon, since there’s a tiny part in me that had always wanted to take up med school.

Would rather be a musician or a painter? Painter, if anything. I’m not creative by any means, but I feel like I’d enjoy a lot more freedom with painting.

Would you rather write your own book or make your own movie? [continued from last night] Write my own book I suppose, but I could only work with non-fiction. I’d embarass myself if I had to write something not based off of real life.

At home, do you have a trampoline? No. But this reminds me of when we’d go to Rita’s place to have meetings whenever we couldn’t hold them in school. She’s the richest one out of all of us, lives in a very old money village, big-ass house, big-ass kitchen, big-ass receiving areas (plural)...and they also have a nice trampoline in their big-ass yard. We always used to horse around in there as soon as we were done with our meetings.

When you are about to go to bed, do you put on some sort of noise?  I used to put on a YouTube video that would entertain me enough to feel relaxed and eventually sleepy, but I haven’t done that in the last few weeks. These days I usually look for a fanfic to get absorbed in, then I read until my eyes start feeling heavy.

What is your favorite Christmas movie?  Love Actually or It’s A Wonderful Life.

And what about your favorite Christmas song?  It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas makes me feel festive and fuzzy.

What is your ultimate favorite stocking stuffer?  My family doesn’t really keep up with this tradition. I remember how our grandparents would fix up stockings for us when we were much younger, but they were usually filled with candy. 

After Halloween, do you sort out all of your candy into little piles?  I never collected candy for Halloween.

When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it?  Depends. The rare times I’m working and do feel like putting headphones on, the volume has to be just decent enough so I can still focus. If I’m not doing anything else or at least doing something that doesn’t involve too much ~brain activity~, I like my music very loud.

What did you have for breakfast this morning?  It doesn’t really count as breakfast but I’m currently finishing off the remaining two pieces of McNuggets I got last night. 10 pieces is apparently too many for my appetite, haha.

What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet?  Cooper has probably been the biggest and heaviest so far.

Do you own any kind of helmet?  We have a bike helmet here at home, but it’s not exclusively mine.

Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite?  I don’t memorize the fridge so I can’t tell you my favorite food that’s currently in it; as for drink, I just stick to cold water.

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?  Sprained ankle after I tripped at one of the parking lots in school.

Do you like the taste of cough syrup?  I’ve never had it.

What is something you like to have conversations about?  People with experiences vastly different from mine, because it lets me explore different perspectives. It’s why I always look forward to family reunions with one of my uncles - who’s a foreigner, from a very different country - since he’s able to share a lot of fun and reflective stories about his life and stuff he did in his youth, stuff I never got to experience and live through.

What all is in the trunk of your car?  The trunk used to be my trash can lmao, back when I was still driving everyday. My mom has since cleared it out since the beginning of the pandemic; I believe only a laptop bag is sitting there now.

Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? No. I don’t even eat either.

Is your heat or air conditioning currently on?  My electric fan is. I don’t turn on the aircon until the evening.

Have you ever fallen off of a horse?  Nopes.

Which do you value more, your appearance or your intelligence?  Both are important to me.

When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck?  I don’t remember. I’ve only ever driven cars.

Were your grandparents present when you were born?  Neither set wasn’t in any of the photos from my birth, so I don’t think so...? My maternal grandparents definitely wouldn’t have been present, since my parents had been living in Manila then.

If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things?  I vape...pretty much all day. I’m doing it while taking this survey. As for drink, I would say 1-2 times a month. Usually after a particularly grueling shift.

What do you think of fast food?  I love it. Unabashedly. I just don’t have them a lot because I don’t find it filling and the quality is obviously lower; but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the way fast food tastes.

What website do you spend the most time on and why?  Google Suite, if it counts. I work 5 days a week; it’s pretty much an extension of me at this point.

What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you?  All day. I’m always using the internet to do things. I used to be embarrassed of it, but these days I feel like having a connection is virtually an essential.

When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Museums, historical sites, cultural sites, and spots where they show you how they do practices native to the place. I’ve always been about immersing myself in the cultures of the places I visit.

What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it?  I remember having to walk for a very very very VERY long time when we were in Bali - my family wanted to explore more of the city - and the weather wasn’t cooperative at all, so I ended up feeling super cranky. I remember also walking around a lot in Shanghai, but that was a slightly better experience since the city was incredibly lively and there were a lot of things to see and stop at; not to mention the weather was also kinda pleasant. The cold was biting but I would always rather be too cold than walk around with sweat-soaked clothes.

What is something important that’s often on your mind lately?  Our financial situation what with Covid affecting both my parents’ jobs. We get by enough for me not to worry too much, but I also hope my dad can get called back to his ship soon just so I can finally exhale with relief.

What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it?  My workplace recently introduced this workout challenge thingy for the month of May that we’re invited to join to encourage us to get fit and healthy. I get notifications whenever someone’s able to exercise for the day and it makes me feel super pressured hahahaha. Since I don’t wanna be known as a killjoy co-worker I know I’ll have to take part in it, which I will start on later.

Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it?  No. Back in elementary my grandma made me eat oatmeal every day for breakfast before heading to school, so I don’t ever want to have another bowl of it.

What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic?  My family and I were having a conversation during dinner last night and for some reason it eventually veered towards mine and my sister’s experiences from our first school and how we managed to get up at 5 AM everyday, have classes from 7 AM–4 PM, then get home from anywhere between 5–6 PM for 14 years straight. How tf did we do that and never complain???

How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything?  None.

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played?  While I love watching playthroughs, I am not skilled at video games at all and in most video games I’ve played I never made it past the first mission, unless I was playing a Nintendo game that’s already marketed for kids in the first place lol.

Which accent do you find most sexy, alluring or appealing?  There’s a certain British accent I find very pleasant to listen to, but since I know there are a lot of variations I’m just not sure which one it is. I guess an accurate point of reference would be Hugh Grant’s or Florence Pugh’s accent.

Which accent do you find most annoying, disturbing, or bothersome?  None of them.

Can you cry on cue? Is it any kind of useful?  Nope.

Does it take you a while to actually get jokes?  Sometimes.

Can you wear socks to bed or does it annoy you?  I don’t really like the feeling of socks, so no. I find them a bit itchy, and too tight.

Have you ever bleached your hair?  Never done it before.

Do you like jelly beans?  Erm, it would depend on the flavor, I guess. But they aren’t so much my snack of choice. The texture is a bit weird.

Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming?  Not at all, I feel a lot cozier when it’s raining hard.

Who was the last person you know that graduated? (high school or college)  Sofie posted her graduation photo not too long ago, so probably her.

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming?  I never had a babysitter because I was the babysitter.

Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten?  No. I went to an all-girls school, so I didn’t even get to interact with a lot of boys until the middle of high school.

Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series?  Nope.

Who was your best friend in elementary school?  Angela. I was also friends for a long time with a girl named Jaynie, with whom I actually started to reconnect ever since she found out I was now into BTS. I find it so cool; I don’t think I’ve talked to her since the 2nd grade, 15 years ago.

Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies?  I didn’t.

Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. I'd put them on my dresser everywhere to the point it was absolutely covered. < Literally this entire answer; I don’t have any clue how my overly neat mom managed to never spank me for destroying her closet. I also liked collecting Pokemon cards and pogs even though I never knew how to use them. It just felt nice having large stacks of them lol.

Did you get an allowance?  Not until high school. My grandma (and eventually househelp, when we moved) fixed up packed lunches for me and my siblings. When my mom decided to stop having house helpers at home, that’s when she started giving us an allowance to buy recess and lunch ourselves.

Were you into American Girl dolls?  I was never into dolls in general. Since my sister and I were the only girls at home, we were surrounded by toys marketed for boys and that’s what I enjoyed playing with more.

Were you friends with your childhood neighbors?  We played with the neighborhood kids every afternoon but I wouldn’t call them friends. I was a very shy kid and I found them too rowdy for my liking, especially the boys.

What was your biggest fear when you were a kid?  Flying cockroaches. It’s still one of them.

Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games?  I don’t think so.

Did your parents let you drink soda growing up? I’m pretty sure they would’ve allowed me to, but I just never liked the feeling of fizzy drinks so I never drank soda anyway.

What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid?  I think I liked mocha sponge cakes growing up, but that has changed now.

#survey #surveys