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allisonlol · 11 months

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chuuya dazai and fyodor when reader tries to remove the hickies they gave reader the next day OHKYIGOAHSS

a/n: hiii everyone i have crawled out of my void to offer you this post !! ty to the anon who came up with this wonderful idea. i've missed posting omg and we somehow are so close to 3k despite my inactivity??? slay. shall open reqs again once we get there mwehehe

warnings: slight nsfw

(Chuuya, Dazai, Fyodor) When You Try to Remove Hickeys

Chuuya

he's gonna be the most chill about this tbh

it's your body and if you don't want ppl seeing that on you then that's ur choice!!

however

hiding them is one thing, but that doesn't mean he wants to see you removing them

so yknow that hack where you take a whisk and like,,,twist it over the mark to get rid of it?

yeah so you tried that...and it was actually working until chuuya barged into the room and demanded to know what you were doing

bro is not happy to see the hickies he'd proudly left on you last night being somehow removed by a WHISK

grabs that mf thing and throws it across the room

chuuya's not angry at you, more so frustrated and insecure?? cuz like why would u wanna get rid of them

he's lowkey gonna start pouting tbh. won't say anything else but will glare & give u silent treatment

won't stop until you admit the only reason u removed them is because it was too visible with your work uniform and u didn't want everyone staring smh

insist that he should give you more in areas that people won't see and there's no guarantee y'all won't be late to work <3

Dazai

oh lord

so dazai really loves to mark you up

and last night was no different. your neck was black and blue with hickies

deadass to the point where you nearly had a heart attack when you saw it in the morning

"how am i gonna go to work like this?!" you practically sob to him while he LAUGHS

his only advice is "then don't go" as if both of y'all don't need to have ur asses at the agency in 20 minutes

you check ur phone for the time and when u see this you panic and sprint to your shared bedroom

you try everything you can think of to cover them

first you hastily layer concealer on your neck, to no avail as the marks were too dark

then digging through ur closet for clothes with a high enough neckline to hide it, to which you found none

whole time dazai is leaning against the doorframe, watching ur meltdown with an amused expression

he approaches and helps u up from the floor where u had collapsed with all the clothes strewn around you ☹️

"allow me to pick out something for you to wear" ….oh god

u guys are beyond late at this point so you sigh and accept defeat, to which dazai picks a shirt that of course displays all the marks on your neck

you got lots of stares that day to say the least

Fyodor

surprisingly fyodor doesn't usually leave too many marks on you to begin with

he's got that old fashioned take where it's like "other people don't need to see that and be in our business" if u know what i mean

however, he is also a very possessive man

^so when he gets worked up and does leave hickeys on you, the last thing he wants to see is you trying to hide or remove them

which is exactly what he walked in on u doing today

you were trying the good old "rub an ice cube on it" hack before u had to work

now this mf thinks you have some hidden agenda as to why you wanted them gone

"are you seeing someone else" 💀💀

PLS u didn't realize he had been watching from the doorway and this scares u so bad u drop the ice cube down ur shirt

u start frantically trying to get it out of ur shirt while yelling at him like "i have to work, wtf are u talking about???"

u immediately stop tho when he storms up to u and grabs your face to make you look at him

his face is so cold and unreadable omg it's scary

his eyes shift to the marks on your neck as he traces over them with his fingers

"leave these alone" he says lowly, then adjusts the collar of your shirt so they are partially covered

neither of u will say anything more about it after that, but fyodor sends sigma to secretly follow u to work to make sure that's where ur really going 😓

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @irethepotato @serenareiss @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @mianqo

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pedgito · 3 months

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𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 | Javier Pena x fem!reader

summary | your boyfriend delivers the worst news possible on what should be a day filled with love. luckily your coworker is there in wait, not allowing a perfectly good dinner reservation to go to waste. [2.5k]

content warning | this is probably the tamest thing i've ever written, who am i? mostly fluff, vague descriptions of your boyfriend (technically ex-boyfriend/some misogyny (not by javi), small age gap, co-workers, dinner dates and more, unrequited (innocent) crushes, minimal spanish (mostly just pet names), open-ended

author’s note | @pascalispretty happy valentines day!! this is my first time doing one of these and i was your secret valentine, but i hope you enjoy! i haven't written for javi in so long and i was really craving some soft!javi so this was a joy to write. i hope you enjoy!

You hated the stigma around holidays and what they meant, what they entailed, and why people upheld them so highly. But, here you were—tapping your fingers insistently against the desk across from the pool of DEA agents who would throw a file of paperwork on your desk and expect it to magically poof away and, by default, relinquish themself of any responsibility over it in the process.

You couldn’t fault them all—some of them actually managed to follow instructions. A signature here and there, all in order, leaving with little work to do other than file it away. Murphy followed it to a degree that made you think he probably has some time of background outside of here, back in the states. Always uniform, always proper—he’d been a good addition from the start and a perfect match to Javier Pena’s strong personality and unwillingness to give up control.

He also smiled at you every morning and offered a kind greeting, a small acknowledgment of your existence which couldn’t be spared by many others.

As for Javier—he did the work. There was never an issue, but halfway through an expository to a question he asks his attention is drawn elsewhere. Usually to one of the other few in-office secretaries or visitors that just couldn’t resist a bite at the overconfident and suave agent.

You could see the appeal, but that didn’t mean you had to like it—sometimes it impeded your ability to communicate with him and it really, really annoyed you.

Plus, your boyfriend was perfect. Too perfect that it felt unreal at times, but as all things in your life tended to implode on you—you were waiting for the ball to drop.

“Buenos días, señorita.” Javier greets with a smile that shines perfectly under his thick mustache, dressed in his usual pairing of tight jeans and form-fitting button up. This one was pink though, or a deep red. Jesus, how many different ones did he own?

You snort softly, “Morning, Javi.”

And you’re expecting that crisp folder to slide onto your desk but he’s traversing down the steps into the bay of other desks, straight for his. He’s still in eyeline, his and Steve’s shared workspace right in the center.

His eyes flit up briefly, scanning the room before they land on you again and of course you’re staring, but not for the reasons he’s assuming. And there’s a fierceness behind your eyes that he’s seen before, like he’s about to be lectured.

You grab at an empty file on your desk and hold it up lazily, eyebrows raising in expectation.

“Oh shit,” He curses lowly, but not soft enough for you to miss before he’s reaching in his desk and holding up the paperwork, “Here—I’ve got it.”

You pluck the item from his grip as he approaches, this time lingering. He’s got his fingers spread out wide on your desk and he leans, practically towers as you sift through his work quietly before jotting something down on a separate sticky note and filing it away for the time being.

“Sorry, bonita,” He apologized, some sincerity in his voice, “I stayed late last night and finished it up but you were already gone—I don’t forget, you know that.”

“All good,” You offer a polite smile and he still doesn’t move, nodding kindly to a few women that pass by, seemingly more done-up than usual, “big plans tonight?”

A man like Javier, there was no way he spent Valentine's Day alone.

Javier offers a non-commital shrug and nods his head in your direction, “What about you? You got that boyfriend, right? Kid with the glasses?”

And okay, Javier was a good chunk older than you. Ten years, maybe. But, kid? Please.

“Yes, that kid.” You roll your eyes light-heartedly. “Um, I reserved a table for dinner at that restaurant Steve recommended a couple months ago. The one he took Connie to.”

“Yeah—yeah, I know that place.” Been a few times, it lingers on his tongue. It didn’t matter if he went alone, the food was decent enough. “You made the reservation?”

“Come on, Javi,” You slap at his forearm gently, “It's not that big of a deal—besides I just…need a break. I thought dinner would be nice.”

“You know I can’t judge you for living at this place,” Javier says around a soft chuckle, “I’m guilty of it too.”

Many nights spent stuck in the office with just you and Javier—the occasional appearance of Steve. It led you to learn a few things about the men, even if inadvertently.

When leads were dry, Javier will go through half a pack in a day and Steve would chew at his fingernails almost constantly, tapping and fidgeting nearly nonstop. They both had obvious tells—a more obvious one for Javier being the close-mouthed smile he gave to women he wasn’t interested in but still remained polite to while the other, the unabashed grin was reserved for the women who piqued his interest.

He's given you both, but that was beside the point.

“Any recommendations?” You ask curiously, fidgeting with the plastic clip on your pen.

Javier considers it briefly, lips pursing together as he taps his pointer finger in thought, “Well, the Pescado Frito they have is pretty good—can’t really go wrong with that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” You note, leaning back in your chair as you spot Steve making his way into the office.

“I thought you hated holidays like this?” Javier questions curiously, a sentiment he shared. They seemed pointless outside of the few that offered him a reprieve from work.

You shrug, looking away briefly to avoid his steadfast gaze.

“Well, I don’t think all of us are impervious to stuff—I wanted to do something…nice. I guess?”

Javier isn’t entirely convinced, seeing the uncertainty in your shy smile but he lets it go, slapping the desk lightly before waving a quick goodbye as Steve pulls him aside.

It had to be intel—and good intel at that by the way Javier’s face morphs into sudden interest, thumb and pointer finger brushing over his mustache.

And really, you shouldn’t keep staring at him. Not with that dinner on the forefront of your mind, the one you had so meticulously planned out for you and your boyfriend.

Things had to be perfect. There was no other option.

But, then Javier chances another glance in your direction and something swells in your throat—anxiety, sadness. You can't quite place it, but you swallow it down. Force it away.

Only a few more hours to go.

The call comes an hour before you’re due to head home, already packing up your belongings preemptively. And you smile at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice.

It’s been a few months. Good months. Too good.

He was younger, like you—some IT guy in his earlier twenties with a kind heart. Or, so you assumed.

“Hey,” You answer softly, lightly into the phone, “reservations are in a couple hours.”

“About that,” His voice sounds off, distant, “I don’t think I can make it.”

Your heart drops into your stomach and you find yourself chewing at your bottom lip in worry, watching wearily as Javier and Steve hold matching coffees in their grip, marching back to their desks in sync. Javier’s gaze lingers for a moment, a normal motion he did just to check on you.

Nothing more.

But, he spots the change in your emotion.

Still, he continues on.

“What—I—I’ve had these reservations for two weeks,” You reply in a hushed voice, trying to contain your frustration, “what happened—what changed?”

“I just—I don’t really know how to say this,” The dread is immediate, but your mind is filled with anger—rigid, bitter anger that wants to bite, “I think we should break up.”

“Are you fucking serious?” The small outburst catches the attention of you people but you avoid their gaze, even more pointedly Javier, who’s gone from inconspicuously spying to full on gawking now, alongside Steve who had a sudden interest. They’ve never seen you like…this. “Today? This felt like a good thing to tell me today?”

“I’ve been trying—“

“You’re an asshole.” You bite harshly, “You can pick your shit up from my apartment this weekend.”

You don’t let him have the final word, slamming the phone back down into the receiver and ignoring the gathering stares and sparse, hushed whispers.

You could sit and wallow, allow yourself to stew in regret and worry, wondering what you did wrong—but you knew it wasn’t you. It couldn’t have been. All the trying and trying and trying you do, the maximum amount of effort met with little enthusiasm. You were naive to think that things would work,

You’re thankful when the shift nears its end and people file out quietly, albeit with a few side-stares, you find yourself mulling over the idea of canceling the reservation completely. But, then there was perfectly good, hard-earned money going to waste. And you could eat by yourself, but the idea seemed even more miserable as you had specifically booked a table for two, decorations and accommodation to match. It felt ridiculous, in hindsight.

You pass the stack of paperwork off to your boss as you step into his office, scurrying back to your desk with your head down—already prepared to go home and wallow in your self-pity.

“You alright?” Javier asks suddenly, jumping slightly at his voice as you turn on your heels, hip bumping into your desk in the process, wincing at the pain, “shit—sorry.”

He’s smiling to lighten the mood but it doesn’t help.

“You’re…fine,” You wave him off, leaning into the weight of the desk as he lingers, fingers shoved into the front pockets of his pants, “I’m heading home in a bit.”

“No dinner?” He asks curiously—if he was attempting to be coy he was doing a terrible joy.

It was only minimally amusing, cracking a smug smile at his obvious prying.

“No dinner,” You confirm, “and he broke up with me, so…”

“Cabrón,” He says under his breath, but it isn’t lost on you, “I’m sorry—that’s…fucked up.”

You shrug, “Now I’m debating on canceling and wasting the money I put down to reserve it or looking pathetic if I show up by myself—“

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Javier defends, speaking entirely from personal experience.

“Javi, it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“And?”

Suddenly though, you’re struck with an idea.

“Are you busy?” You ask curiously and Javier raises a curious eyebrow your way and smirks, “No ladies in waiting tonight?”

“Not yet.” Javier jokes lightly, knowing his usual routine of hitting the bar after work would end in one of two ways, and even if he didn’t mind spending his nights alone, it was nice to be in the company of others in whatever capacity.

“Go with me.” You suggest, poking at his bicep. “Since you love the place so much.”

“Come on, hermosa,” Javier chides playfully, “If you wanted to take me on a date, just ask.”

You grin wide, heart fluttering at the flirtatious tone he carried in his voice—it wasn’t something you weren’t used to, but it was never so pointedly directed at you.

“I am,” You tell him, “I just—I’ll need to go home and change first.”

His brow furrows and he looks you over, seeing nothing wrong, “Why? You look fine. You always do.”

It’s something he tells you daily—and maybe he has his own selfish reasons, though you know he does it to most of the women in the office, but the way he’s saying it to you now feels different.

He means it, no humor in his voice.

“My—” You can’t even address him in the moment, rolling your eyes with full force as you rub your fingers over your forehead to will away the lines of stress that form there, “I just—he used to say work clothes never complimented me very well. I already had a dress picked out, I can be quick.”

“Save it. I think you look perfect.” Javier affirms softly, keys jingling in his back pocket as he fishes them out, “I’ll drive us.

“But, my car—”

And hand breaches your shoulder, hot to the touch as his fingers curl around your form.

“Hey,” He’s searching for your eyes, waiting until they lock with his own and he nods, expecting the same motion to make sure you’re with him, “I’ll drive you there and back, you don’t have to change—we can enjoy some good food and forget about your shitty boyfriend, alright?”

You nod quietly, earning a gentle squeeze in response.

–

It wasn’t a date, not in the slightest. But, Javier did his damndest to make you feel like it was.

And maybe it was the guilt over him knowing you just got dumped—that whatever you had spent so much time planning had fell out underneath you, but it didn’t quell the nervous anxiety that you felt as you both sipped on a shared bottle of wine and your separate dinners, watching Javier grimace around the lip of his wine glass.

“Horrible, right?” You laugh softly, watching as he forces the liquid down and nods jerkily.

“Food is great, though—the wine,” Javier makes a face of uneasiness that has you covering a laugh with your palm, “—that’s why I stick with tequila or whiskey.”

“Can’t say I have much of a preference,” You admit, “as long as it does the job.”

Javier nods knowingly, stabbing his fork into a piece of food and chewing thoughtfully, the fingers of his unoccupied hand rubbing together as an idea forms in his head, “You know, if you’re not busy I was going to meet up with Steve and Connie for a drink. Later tonight—if you’re interested?”

You can’t believe how instantly you want to agree, blaming it on your impulsivity.

“Javi, I don’t know,” You respond quietly, “I don’t—I don’t really go out like that.”

“Well—that dress you were talking about. It wouldn’t go completely to waste if you wanted to wear it out tonight. Plus, you treated me to a nice dinner—let me treat you to a couple drinks.”

It sounds like the perfect idea. Too perfect. Too good to be true.

“Javi,” You tease shyly, “if you’re trying to ask me out on a date just say it.”

Javier chuckles softly and you know it’s only an attempt to make a shitty day not so shitty, but the underlying chase you two have allowed to happen for so long now was unobscured by outside forces and you hated how easy it was for him to distract you from everything that had transpired today.

“Is that a yes?” Javier teases.

You sigh reluctantly, though a subtle grin pulls at your face, eyes soften at the expectant look on Javier’s face, all puppy-eyed and nothing like the man you’re used to seeing in the office. This was a side of him that felt new and you were curious to discover more. You nod.

“Well, hermosa—I guess it’s a date then.”

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena x y/n #javier peña #pedro pascal #my writing #spacesisterssecretvalentine

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sabertoothwalrus · 8 months

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hi !! just curious because i was looking at your adventure time episode guide and i love hearing other peoples adventure time takes !! how come you don't like finn's characterisation in together again?

I've talked about it before here and here!

But also I'm gonna say more and share some art I did in 2021 for a rewrite comic that I never got around to doing

So again to reiterate: Adventure Time is usually VERY good at making it feel like time passes, even when you're not watching. It's something about what they don't show that tells you everything you need to know.

Together Again did not do this.

It really really felt like they were avoiding showing Finn as an adult, as if they wanted to leave his post-show life ambiguous. Which, now that Fionna and Cake has shown us literally that, it makes Together Again feel even more wrong?? Like. imagine you have to pick a moment from your life that represents You™ the most. Together Again said that Finn, after living his whole life and dying as an old man, feels most represented by how he was at 17. I do not buy this. I am 25, and I cannot fathom identifying by my 17 year old self. I was a completely different person then, I was still cooking. I can imagine most people feel the same. And ok, so maybe Finn DOES for some reason feel stuck at 17? Explain to me why!! What needed to happen to him that made him feel that way?

And before you just say "it's because Jake died," there's still too much that was left out. How old was Finn when Jake died? What was Finn like, at that point? What else had they accomplished? What was he doing at the time that was on the forefront of his mind? Where/with who did they spend most of their time? Where were they living after the treehouse got destroyed?

It was like,,, it was like the story Together Again actually wanted to tell was about Finn's grief, and how poorly he copes, and how too much of his identity is tied to Having Jake, and how he struggles to move on. But that's not the story we got. I honestly think-- as interesting as it was-- everything with New Death and Tiffany and Lich just did a disservice to the focus, which was Finn trying to get over Jake.

I think Together Again should have gone like this:

Finn and Jake had always planned that whoever died first would wait in the dead world for the other to die so the two of them could reincarnate. Jake dies first. Jake would be able to "watch over" Finn as he lives the rest of his life, so Jake wouldn't miss Finn as much as vice versa, since he'd feel like he's still there with him. Eventually, Finn dies.

Finn's appearance would change with his emotional state. I thought it'd be interesting to show different phases of his life through the stages of grief.

There'd be a room where they could watch Finn's memories. Finn would walk Jake through the events of his life. We SEE exactly how Finn dealt with grief, with heartbreak, with love, with friends, with community. All the good and all the bad.

By the end of it, Finn is quiet. "Jake... when we reincarnate, will we.. lose all of this?" "Well, do you remember anything from any of your other past lives?" "No.. But that's the point. I don't want to forget you." Finn, despite their promise, despite Jake waiting for him all this time, declines reincarnating. He doesn't want to move on, because that would mean forgetting everything. He wants to say with Jake!! He JUST got Jake back!!

“What if— in the future— what if they forget about us? What if they don’t know about all the stuff we did?” We see Ooo in its current state. It’s changed, but it’s clearly been affected by the two of them. Every person they’ve saved, every civilization they helped build, every hero they’ve inspired. They’ve left their touch everywhere. “They’ll know,” Jake says with certainty. “We’ll know.” We see the future, with Shermy and Beth. We see the Finn Sword, and BMO with all their old belongings. Everything stays, but it still changes. Will happen, happening, happened. These have always been the themes of the show. They reincarnate, together.

#adventure time #together again #my art #finn the human #finn mertens #jake the dog #distant lands

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nohaijiachi · 9 months

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I've been seeing just about all moments of GO S2 being put under a microscope and absolutely dissected frame by frame

And still I am yet to see anyone mention a moment that might be small in the grand scheme of things, perhaps not as character defining as many other that have been (rightfully) analyzed a thousand times over, but which was *so* important to me, and every single time I watch it I'm just filled with so many feelings and jhaghagha

(putting this under a read more to not spam y'all with a ginormous post clogging your dashes)

The moment in question is this (my apologies for the pics, I currently don't have a proper way to take screenshots of S2 and had to snap photos of my tv screen lol)

It's such a quick moment, a small blip in the entirety of episode 5, but let me tell you why it absolutely destroys my heart every single time.

First of all let's refresh our memory on Aziraphale's relationship with Heaven and Gabriel specifically, shall we?

The very first time we see Gabriel in S1, he surprises Aziraphale at a sushi restaurant. Aziraphale looks to his left, because that's the side where Crowley usually appears when approaching him, but instead of his boyfriend the familiar Demon, he sees the reflection of Gabriel at his other side, and he turns around with what reads to me as very much an "oh shit" expression.

In episode 2 we see Gabriel again, along with Sandalphon; they are flanking Aziraphale and leaving him no way to escape in what to me seems a blatant intimidation tactic, especially with Gabriel being all "hey you remember Sandalphon, right :)" and Aziraphale being like "Oh yeah, likes smiting and turning people into salt, I sure do! *nervous laugh". There's literally no reason for them to be acting like this if not to (un)subtly remind Aziraphale what his place is, and that he is NOT safe, not even in his bookshop.

Whenever we see Aziraphale in Heaven he is constantly standing ramrod straight, hands kept caged behind him, none of his usual mannerism to be seen. He always smiles like a hare being stared at by a hawk and the cinematography very much underlines that tenseness by both showing the impossible, cold and sterile expanse of Heaven in contrast to the camera being shoved right in the characters' face to make the viewer feel just as uncomfortable as Aziraphale is.

When Gabriel and Aziraphale speak in the park there's this moment after it looks like Gabriel is leaving, but he pops right back up in Aziraphale's space in an instant, causing the reaction we see in these screenshots. Aziraphale is clearly taken aback and tense, eyes widening which is like, fair considering Gabriel pretty much jump scared him, but that's rather the point, isn't it? Gabriel pretty much jump scared him. He didn't just turn around and jog back to Aziraphale to ask him about the sword, he purposefully moved himself up to him without any warning. Like sheesh, talk about terrifying bosses.

No Gabriel here, but just another example of how much Aziraphale does NOT like being in Heaven. When he gets discorporated and finally manages to stand up for himself, saying he refuses to fight a war, he still looks like *this*. Like he's one step away from just discorporating a second time and without an actual body out of sheer anxiety.

When all it's said and done at the Tadfield airbase and the four horsemen are gone, Gabriel and Beelzebub decide to go check what the heck is going on, at which point Aziraphale pretty much seems to be bracing himself, straightening his back, adjusting his clothes nervously and then holding his hand in front of him in a show of dignified quietness I definitely read as him doing his best to hide just how anxious he truly is.

Of course we don't see Aziraphale's reaction at being told to shut his stupid mouth and die already by Gabriel due to the body swap, and at this point is pretty safe to say Crowley has never shared with Aziraphale that little tidbit of information, but even not knowing the extent of the cruelty Gabriel showed toward him at the end, he still knows that Gabriel and, by extension, Heaven was more than willing and ready to murder him.

Even at the start of S2, when an amnesiac Gabriel arrives at the bookshop and then hugs him (awkwaaaard), Aziraphale looks like he's entirely frozen and unable to react to the improbability of what is happening, and when Gabriel asks him if he can go inside the bookshop Aziraphale's immediate reaction is to pretty much recoil with an immediate "No!".

Of course he is then forced to let him in because there's a naked man on his steps while the whole neighborhood is watching, and we get some many more little moments of Aziraphale anxiety emerging through his body language: The pacing, the way he sits ramrod straight in front of Gabriel, and him literally backing away multiple steps when Gabriel asks him "You know how it's like, when you don't know anything at all, and yet you're totally certain that everything will be better if you were just near one particular person?"

(Because of course Aziraphale knows how that feels, and that's exactly the same reason why he's been so scared of Heaven for-fucking-ever!) (Also as an aside let me just bless Michael 'Acting Choices' Sheen for that smile that lasts a shard of a second after Gabriel asks that. You can pretty much see the word "CROWLEY" stamped in big bold letters on his forehead in that moment lmao)

(Also as an aside to the aside. Jon Hamm is just fantastic. Gabriel comes across as such an asshole in S1, but Amnesiac!Gabriel is a fucking cinnamon roll and he pulls it off so well ajahjahja)

Then of course we get the whole exchange about the 'something terrible' that sends Aziraphale into more anxious frenzy until another tiny, kinda overlooked moment hits us in the shins, in which Gabriel says "You're funny. I love you." And like, can't blame anybody for not looking at that moment without much thought, I know that that sentence had me crying laughing multiple times on multiple rewatches, but also... God, you can see the way some of that fear instantly leaves Aziraphale, the way he relaxes ever so slightly and ??? Aziraphale??? Is that all you need to instantly start trusting someone who wanted you dead? Who treated you like shit for who knows how long? (Why am I even asking this, of course that'd be enough, it's Aziraphale we're talking about, here.) Then of course the rest of season 2, he and Crowley having a row about what to do with Gabriel with Aziraphale insisting that he needs them, as his friends, yada yada, we get back to the initial moment that sparked this post.

We get there, Aziraphale's (eldritch) Ball and the romantic moment he's been working himself up for ruined, murderous Demons at his steps putting both he and all the humans inside in peril, and all he would need to do to avoid any harm coming to them is to give Gabriel up, and... "You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will." Not just the words, but the way Aziraphale says them; voice lowered and serious, that hint of hesitation and fear at the start that melts away into full blown confidence at the 'And I will'.

It isn't just Aziraphale being scared by Gabriel mentioning the 'something terrible' at the beginning, nor the brief moments of cryptic recollection that he witnesses Gabriel going through-- It's that Aziraphale sincerely accepted to protect him, and he wasn't going to give that up. He is a Guardian and a Principality, after all.

And like, I see this and how am I supposed not to get my heart utterly shattered by it? If Aziraphale had rejected Gabriel, or treated him unkindly in any way, I hardly doubt anybody would be hard pressed to say Aziraphale did not have the right to do so, not after the way he's been treated by Gabriel and Heaven his whole life. But he doesn't. He is kind to him, if a tad long-suffering at times. The protection he extended over Gabriel is utterly sincere and unwavering.

And ngggggggh I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just. Love Aziraphale so much. Stupid, clever, anxious, brave man-shaped thing that he is, recklessly throwing himself into the line of fire for somebody that, by any means, did not have any right to ask something of that magnitude from him. He is my scrungly, and by God am I ever so excited to see how everything will play out in season 3. I want him to fully grasp that bravery and raise absolute -metaphorical- hell with it. Shine bright, you crazy bastard.

#good omens #aziraphale #meta #i suppose #idk i just wanted to throw my two cents and talk about this specific moment #cuz it gives me ALL of the feels #my angel blorbo ilu

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rougecreator1 · 2 months

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Amon's daughter who hasn't ever been allowed to bend other than in secret and subtle blood bending finally being allowed to do it... But it turns out she doesn't know how to water bend - only blood bend - and even trying almost make her go into a panic attack, until her father's old enemy (Korra) helps her overcome her fears and anxiety. Enemies to lovers, maybe?

Gifted with Impurity

|| Avatar Korra x fem!reader

|| Warnings: mentions of blood bending, descriptions of an anxiety attack, enemies to lovers, subconscious manipulation

|| Summary: reader is the daughter of Amon. Your father only ever allowed you to use blood bending, after your father's defeat you seek the help of Avatar Korra to get back what you have lost.

Requests open!

~~~

It's been a week since Avatar Korra defeated your father, to say you were at a loss of what to do now would be an understatement. The Equalists followers that remained had tried pressuring you into being their next leader. The next Amon. You couldn't bring yourself to do that; you didn't share the same values your father did. In your opinion, bending was a gift that should be shared with the world. Not taken away. You yourself were gifted with the ability to bend. Though, because of the way your father trained you, you were only ever able to subtly use blood bending to get people to submit to him. You hated doing that, you wanted to use your water bending but you were never allowed and in turn lost the ability to do so. Which lead you to where you stood now.

Air Temple Island.

You hoped that maybe the Avatar could show you how to water bend, though you were almost 99% sure you'd just be turned away the moment she laid eyes on you. You and Korra have fought before, with her defeating you. The only reason you had even fought was because your father had used you as a distraction so he could escape. Pushing the past aside, you took a breath and knocked heavily on the front door in hopes that someone would actually hear it. There was a long pause before Tenzin opened the door and stared down at you with a look you couldn't quite understand. He went to close the door but you quickly stopped it before he could, giving him a pleading look.

"Wait! Please! Just hear me out!" You practically begged the Air bending Master. Hands clasped together at your chest, which made him sigh deeply in response.

"Very well." He stepped aside and let you into the Temple, bringing you to an empty seating area. He sat down and when you didn't he gestured for you to sit across, so hesitantly you did. He doesn't say a word as he watches you, waiting for you to speak first.

"I know what my father has done-" You paused when he raised an eyebrow at you and sighed," -what I have taken part of... I'm not proud of any of it. I don't share the same beliefs as he did. I believe bending is a gift. Which is why I have come to request help from Avatar Korra. I- um..." You bit down on your bottom lip slightly, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. Blood bending was illegal. You couldn't exactly talk about it, especially not to someone like Tenzin. He seemed to understand what you were implying; even without having to say it, as he gave you a nod to continue. So you did.

"Water bending was something I was never allowed to do. Because of that I've lost the ability. I was hoping Avatar Korra could help me find it again." You finish your explanation.

There was a long silence before Tenzin finally responds. "That decision will lay entirely in the hands of the Avatar. Should she decide you unfit to train, I heavily suggest you listen and step back."

"I understand." You nodded and gave Tenzin a slight bow, hands rested on your knees as you sat with your legs crossed.

Tenzin stood and left the room, leaving you to assume he's gone to find Korra. A few long moments pass before the door slides open, revealing Avatar Korra who's eyes widen at the sight of you. You quickly stood and held your hands gently out in front of you, ready to get into a defensive position in case she attacked.

"Please, I'm not here to fight-"

"Oh really? Yeah and I'm not the Avatar." She scoffed and rolled her eyes at you, arms folded across her chest as she gave you an intense glare. You swallowed thickly, remembering your last fight with her and how easily she overwhelmed you with her attacks. You prayed you wouldn't have to fight her again.

"I promise. I am not my Father. The only reason we fought before was because he forced me to be a distraction." You explained, hoping she would be understanding. Silence fills the room and you brace for the worse, but she surprises you.

"You get one chance. If you mess up, I won't hesitate to feed you to Naga." She pointed her finger at you as her eyes narrowed. Whatever a Naga was, you didn't know. But you weren't exactly eager to find out so you quickly nodded your head.

You were greatly relieved she gave you a chance.

~~~

The next day marked the start of your water bending training with Avatar Korra. To say you were nervous... that was laying it on lightly. You weren't sure there was actually a word that could describe how you were feeling. This wasn't right. You shouldn't be doing this. It was a gift of impurity. A sin that washed over your body...

Your father's words echoed through your mind as you stood in a classic water bending position, Korra watching from next to you. Your chest began to rise and fall quickly, the world around you feeling small. Cramped. Tight. Impure.

"I-I- can't-" You stuttered out, Korra quickly turned her attention to you rather than watching your hands, as she had been waiting to see you start bending. Concern took over her features and her hand went to your shoulder.

"Hey, hey. Just breathe." She tells you, the softness in her tone caught you off guard. A drastic change from the harshness from before.

"This isn't- I shouldn't-" Your thoughts scrambled together, making it impossible for you to form any coherent sentences. Your throat felt tight, breathing seeming like a command you couldn't complete. As you stood feeling frozen to the ground beneath you.

That's all it took for Korra to suddenly understand why you were so freaked out. Even if you saw bending as a gift, your father's values still laced in your subconscious mind. Twisting your own beliefs into a mirror of his. Her hand gripped your shoulder a little tighter, hoping the feeling of something physical. Something real. Could ground you. "It's okay. You're okay. Amon has no control over you. You can bend. I believe in you."

Her words circled through your mind, fighting off the words of your Father. The grip she had on your shoulder being enough for you to find your centre. Maybe not completely, but you could breathe again. Breathing was a start. You focused on that and the sound of Korra's voice until you no longer felt frozen to the ground. In one fast, sudden motion you had pulled the Avatar into a tight hug. Surprising her.

"Woah- okay- we're hugging now-" Korra said, giving your back a pat. She didn't know what else to do since it had caught her off guard.

You clung to her for a moment. Taking in the closeness of the two of you. The way her arms stretched out awkwardly at her sides, only one of her hands touching your back in an attempt at a soothing gesture. After a moment longer you let go and looked at her. You didn't notice, but there was a soft blush on her cheeks as she looked at you now. You did however recognize the awkwardness in her expression as it dawns on you how impulsive your hug had been. Even you didn't expect to do that.

A heavy crimson floods your cheeks and you look away, hand going to your neck as you scratch it slightly. Feeling the awkward tension between the two of you.

"So! Water bending! It's really simple, just connect with the flow and soon enough you'll have the water doing what you want." A hand rested to Korra's hip whilst the other gave you a finger gun, she was trying to ease the awkwardness. You could tell. It didn't really work though you appreciated her efforts.

"Right..." You glanced down at the barrel of water next to the two of you and then looked at Korra," Maybe a physical demonstration?"

"Totally! No problem." Korra nodded, the awkwardness still lingering as she got in a water bending stance and eased the water out of the barrel to flow around her body. Her hand moved towards the sky and the water followed suit. You realized then how easy it would be for her to attack you right now. You swallowed, trying to push that thought aside so you didn't spiral again. Though as you watched how effortlessly she manipulated the water, you couldn't help thinking about it.

She smirked and did flick a splash of it in your direction, as a teasing manner. You lifted an arm to shield your face. You couldn't help but laugh at how unserious she was now. Considering you've only ever seen her in battles, you never would have thought there was a playful side to her. You smiled at the brunette.

"Was that necessary?"

"Oh, absolutely." Korra smiled back, letting the water fall back into the barrel as her arms fold across her chest. Looking rather smug and proud of herself. You rolled your eyes," Go on."

She encourages you to try bending the water. Taking a shaky breath, you ground yourself. Hands in front of you as you gently lift your left hand, trying to pull the water upwards. A small swish. No other reaction or sign of movement. You grit your teeth and try harder until a bead of sweat drips down the side of your face. Your hand moving up faster now out of frustration, the water reacting to your emotions. It shoots out of the barrel at fast speeds and right for Korra. She blinks in surprise and quickly unfolds her arms, bending the water against your own movements and forcing it to hover in place. Inches from her body. She sighs deeply and looks at you.

"The hell was that?" Korra asked, her full guard up now as she looks at you. You tense.

"I'm sorry- I forgot how reactive it was to emotions..." You admit, a blush coating your cheeks as you look down in embarrassment.

Korra shakes her head and drops the water back in the barrel. Looking at you in a studying way, you assumed she was checking to see if you were lying. If that was really some hidden attack plan you had come up with.

"Just be more careful next time. Alright?"

You relax when you hear 'next time'. That meant she was still going to train you. Even after that little mixup.

~~~

A few weeks go by. Korra's been training with you every other day, helping you master water bending. In turn the two of you have grown close to each other. Close enough that you've developed a crush on one another, both too nervous to say anything about it.

One particular day, Bolin catches you watching Korra train with a love sick grin plastered across your face. He gives you a knowing look and comes to stand beside you. Hand resting to your shoulder, which startles you as you hadn't even seen him approach. Bolin gives you an apologetic look.

"You should talk to her." He says, you tense. Were your feelings for Korra that obvious? The correct answer was yes. Everyone but Korra could tell.

"What if I just make a fool out of myself?"

Bolin laughs and smiles at you. "Y/N, Korra likes you, too. She hasn't stopped talking about you all week."

"Are you sure? What if-"

"Dude! You gotta stop overthinking it. She's obsessed with you, you gotta trust me." Bolin interrupts you and you sigh, hesitating before nodding your head.

"Alright. Yeah. If it goes wrong I'm blaming you, Bolin." You smirk at him before walking over to Korra. Watching as she trains. The way her muscles flex... you shake your head. Focus.

Korra stops her movements and looks at you with a wide smile as she waves," Hey! Y/N! Wanna spar?"

"Actually, there was something else I was hoping we could do." You fold your arms loosely in front of your stomach, Korra tilts her head at you in confusion.

"Yeah. Totally, what is it?"

You feel your cheeks flush. Were you really about to ask out the Avatar? You look back at Bolin who smiles and gives you two encouraging thumbs up. You sigh and look at Korra again," do you want to go on a date? We could go see a mover or something..."

"A date?" Korra blinks in surprise, then her smile widens as a blush forms on her cheeks," I'd love to!"

Her enthusiasm catches you off guard and you suppress a giggle," really?"

"Yeah! What idiot wouldn't want to go on a date with you?" She gives you a playful nudge and the laugh you tried stifling escapes your lips. Korra did always have a habit of making you laugh. You appreciated that about her.

"Alright. Then it's a date."

~~~

Lmk if y'all would be interested in a part 2! This is my first time writing for Korra so I hope y'all like it! Feel free to send other Legend of Korra requests my way too, just check out my masterlist blog first!

#fem reader #wlw fiction #x reader #canon x reader #avatar korra #avatar korra x fem reader #korra x reader #legend of korra #korra x female reader #korra x amon daughter #fanfic #lok

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fruit3milk · 2 years

Text

--> Alpha! Arataki Itto x Omega! Male Reader : "Rut Season" 18+! <3

Warnings! + Content: ABO dynamics, concepts, and universe, breeding kink, knotting, heavy smut, NSFW, amab anatomy, he/him pronouns

Summary! : Itto is going through his rut cycle and is just an incredibly horny man😌 pure smut

Minors, Fujoshi/danshi, Fem-aligned DNI!!!

Itto had been gone all morning, afternoon, and evening. The only time you saw actually saw him today was when you woke up, earlier than him as usual, only to see Itto quickly and quietly slipping out of your shared tent. You thought it was strange but figured he just wanted to train extra hard today. That was until he missed dinner and now it was around 9:30. You stayed pacing around the campfire, wondering what could have had him out there for so long. A member of the gang was heading towards his tent to turn in for the night when he spotted you. "You stayin' up late Y/N?" He asked. "Yeah I just, I want to make sure Itto gets back.. He's been training all day I think." You replied in a worried tone. "Ah well that's the boss for you, I'm sure he'll be back as soon as he notices it's dark. I'll see ya in the morning yeah?" He smiled softly and entered his tent, heading to bed for the night. "Yeah..good night.." You said quietly. It was around 10:15 when you finally saw a familiar figure approaching the campsite and bonfire. Once he got into the light you noticed it was indeed Itto. He looked exhuasted and somehow fevered. "Itto?..are you ok?" His head raised quickly when he heard your voice, his expression changing into one of worry and fear. "Y-Y/N..what are you doing still up? You should've been asleep by now it's almost 10:30-." You cut his sentence off. "I'm supposed to be asleep? What about you? You were gone all day and I-, I was worried about you.." Your voice trailed off as you finished your sentence, your tone becoming melancholic. "I-..I'm sorry Y/N, but there's a serious reason I promise! I'm just- just kinda going through something right now." Your brows furrowed upwards in a concerned expression. You approached Itto slowly, him backing up and jolting a little. "Itto? I won't hurt you dear you know that. What's going on baby?, talk to me." You said using that nurturing, soft voice of yours. His guard came down slightly, enough for him to open up to you. "I- can we go inside to talk about this?" He lowered his voice to a whisper. "I don't want the others to know what's going on.." You nodded your head and held your hand out for Itto to take. "Of course we can." You said with a soft smile. He hesitantly took your hand in his, grasping it tight. You lead both of you to your shared tent, making sure to tie and zip it up tight so no one could disturb you. He sat down on the multiple blankets and pillows on the ground, sighing and covering his face with both his hands. You sat next him gently, trying to find a way to word your next sentence. "What's going on honey?" He lowered his hands and took a deep breath. "I've been-, um, well I guess there's no easy way to put this but.." He turned his head to the side to face you. His cheeks were flushed red and his eyes showed desperation, but for what? "You know I'm an alpha right?" You nodded your head and listened intently to him. "Well..I think it's um- mating season for my kind and..and my rut started last night.." Your eyes widened and suddenly all the pieces fit together perfectly. "Ohh.., is that why you left so early this morning?" He looked to the side, almost ashamed. "I had to..'cause I knew I wasn't gonna be able to..to control myself around you, ya know? You just..you look so cute all the time and with my rut I just- I just didn't want to freak you out or..do something weird around you? God I don't even know how to explain it-" Your hand gently raised to place itself upon Ittos' shoulder. "You're ok dear, I don't judge you at all. You can't control when it comes or goes..if anything, you know I'd be more than happy to help you" His eyes lit up and he looked like he couldn't believe what you just said. His face became even more flushed if possible. "H-help me? Are you sure? I mean- you do know what that means right?" You smirked softly with a chuckle. "Of course I know what that means."

Itto had you face down ass up, his hips slamming against yours. He was panting almost like a dog. His nails dug into your hips, leaving deep scratch marks that drew blood. You couldn't care though, you were lost in that scent of his he gave out. Those drowning pheromones of his..It was all too good it put you in a trance. It filled up all your senses, almost persuading you and tempting you. Your moans were sometimes muffled by the pillows you bit into, other times you were screaming out in pleasure too aroused to care if anybody else heard. "Fuuuck~ you feel so good babyboy~" Itto breathlessly let out as he pounded that big cock of his inside you. One of his hands came up to tangle itself tightly in the back of your hair. He didn't pull you up though, just roughly tugged and kept a tight hold on you. You could barely think, only hearing the loud squelching and praises from Itto. "I-Itto~! Too fast~ t-too much~!" You moaned out as you tried your best to keep up with his frantic and harsh movements. Itto tried his best to calm his pace but it was basically the same as before. He couldn't help it, he couldn't think about anything else other than breeding you right here, right now. He let go of your hair though, using both of his hands to massage your hips. He tried his best to be as gentle as he could but his body just wouldn't accommodate that. Truly though, you didn't mind one bit. You couldn't help loving every bit of it. His roughness, the brutality of his thrusts against you, his primal need to just fuck you tired. You loved everything he gave you. His low groans of pleasure put you even deeper into submission. Your mouth stuck in an "O" shape as you got rammed into. His cock hit every single sweet spot inside you. The way his tip grinded against and abused your prostate pushed plea's and begs for more out of you. "Itto~!...fuck me more~♡! Please~!" You raised your hips up as far as you could, your toes curling in pleasure as your body was forced up and down by Itto's thrusts. Drool escaped from the sides of your grinning mouth, your eyes could barely stay open, almost crossed. Itto's hips seemed to never stutter or slow down, putting you in a fucked out haze. You couldn't resist the sinking feeling in the bottom pits of your stomach. "C-cumming!~ I'm- I'm gonna~!" A loud and high moan halfway left your throat, your little cock squirting all over the blankets and pillows beneath you. Itto on the other hand was still going at it. His aggressive pace overstimulating you way more than you were ready for. "Just a little longer baby..you're being such a good boy for me~♡ just relax~" That was easy for itto to say, he wasn't the one being pounded into the floor right now. You couldn't form sentences anymore, only lewd mumbles and choked out words left your lips. Itto was using you as a toy at this point, forcing your hips against his with his deathly tight grip on you. Soon, you felt his cock twitch inside you and a hot, thick liquid filling you up. Itto rutted into you, stopping his thrusts completely after a minute or two after. Your breathing was deep and exhausted mixing with his quick breaths. Itto slowly leaned down behind you, kissing the sides of your cheek and jaw before whispering lowly to you:

"Can you go for another round babe?..maybe more?"

♡ A/N's ♡ : Heyo! I hope this was ok as I'm still new to writing smut and fanfics in general. If you have any helpful tips or advice feel free to drop it!

If you guys would like a part 2 to this I would also love writing another part(ilovewritingittosmut).

I'm also currently working on a Kaeya x Male Reader fic!

Also should ya boy open smut requests? 👁👁 I would like to see what ya'll got

#male reader smut #itto x male reader #bottom male reader #x reader #x male reader #genshin smut #genshin x male reader #itto x reader #genshin x reader

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sparklecarehospital · 5 months

Text

been reflecting on my year a bit, and i was thinking about something. i think i know what the best thing i did for myself this year was.

making cometcare public. making the ask blog.

ive had this AU stirring in my brain since 2019, ever since i got really attached to doomi during the haunted arc. one reason i went so long without revealing pollarrydoomi as a ship to readers was because doom's crush wasn't public information until late 2021.

i had kept his crush a mystery for 3 years, but revealed it after a fun experience where people figured out who it was through guessing. i'm pretty sure i did a poll about it? asking people to guess who they thought it was, and uni won the vote, meaning everyone had already figured it out.

after pollarrydoomi was revealed and i started drawing art for it and people made fanart for it, i still couldn't post any of my AU art because ally wasn't public and she and howie were in the AU. in july 2022, for the comic's birthday, i revealed ally as a character to the readers. others around the time had started to notice characters i had in pfps and i ended up telling everyone i did have pollarrydoomi ship kids, but i didn't make them public.

in november 2022, i revealed eve on toyhouse. after her reveal, i would soon reveal sly as well in december 2022 on my birthday (revealing sly as a birthday present to myself is such a funny gesture now that you guys know how important he is to me). over the next few weeks i revealed cream, frosty, and marco as well. all of the main cometkids except chem.

then one day someone out there suggested that i make an ask blog for the cometcare AU. it was such a spontaneous decision, and i didn't even really know what i was gonna do with it at first. i was just kinda messing around. but when i made the blog i realized that if i wanted this AU to be experienced in complete authenticity, i couldn't make uni cis.

so i revealed uni being trans through the blog, despite the fact i'd gone so many years without ever revealing her identity. why did i do it? there's a lot of reasons. not wanting to make her a "dad" in the AU contributed, but also i felt like it wouldn't be detrimental to the story to confirm a character being trans. it also made me (and the crew in general) a lot more comfortable being able to properly refer to uni with her actual pronouns.

making the ask blog really changed me, because finally i could share this little family and comfort story i'd built in my brain with the world and make it real and make content for it and let people consume it.

but what stopped me most of all?

i've said it many times before... but i felt like it was cringey.

i felt like making an AU with 93985893844 fankids in a ridiculous complicated polycule wasn't something a Serious content creator should do, and i was really worried the reception would be negative or people would think it was stupid or something. i did NOT expect it to become as popular as it is. the blog actually has more followers than the MAIN ASK BLOG for the canon comic. it was received SO POSITIVELY and the fact it was just kind of blows me away.

it means so much to me. being able to share the most special thing in my life with people and for people to actually like it and have fun with me and want to see it, and for me to be able to not have to follow strict professionalism about spoilers and chronological storytelling, and being able to change and add in things whenever i felt like it. it's such a freeing experience.

when i was a kid, i used to make stories and OCs and i didn't take them as seriously as i do the sparklecare reboot. this kind of turned into my entire life and career kinda, so i had to take it more seriously. but making this AU honestly just makes me feel like i'm a kid again, it makes me feel like i can have fun and literally do whatever the fuck i want without worrying what people think or if it's realistic or if it makes any sense.

i know though, that some people don't like pollarrydoomi. and i know why. whether it's because of being attached to barruni (of course, they're the canon ship and main characters, i get it) or just having discomfort with the idea of shipping doom with anyone when canonically he hasn't experienced a redemption arc... i get it. i know not everyone likes it.

and that's okay! people are entitled to having their own feelings about content. i understand it. and i've come to accept that's always going to be the case with anything i do with these characters.

but i'm still going to do this for myself. i do this because it makes me happy to just have fun and not worry about being serious all the time. it feels good, especially when it's with characters that are really really important to me.

cometcare is genuinely the most special and important thing i've ever made for myself, it's such a huge piece of my identity and it makes me who i am. and being able to make this story public and share it with people and share these things that have been in my brain for so long with others means so much to me.

that's why i think it was the best thing i've done this year. it's kind of literally changed my life to be able to talk about them. it's made me happier than i've ever been making content. i'm not just making it to entertain myself alone anymore, i'm making it to entertain others like i do with other stuff. and the fact people actually like it still is unbelievable to me.

so, i guess my outlook for next year as it comes is to continue to stop taking everything so seriously. i can tell my stories however i want to. i hope others can realize they can do this too.

please make whatever you want, whenever you what, as much as you want, even if it doesn't make sense or if it's "cringe". you will be so much happier when you realize as a creator you DON'T have to take all of this so seriously. the comic still exists and people read it even if i'm doing this. You Can Do Whatever You Want And Nobody Can Ever Stop You. the only person who can stop you is yourself when you let your inhibitions get in the way of your ability to create things for yourself.

have fun! life is too short to take everything you do seriously

#text #cometcare au #pollarrydoomi #long post

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ronkeyroo · 4 months

Text

A positive Update

Friends, kind folk - Hello Again 🤍

Ever since my last update post, I've been thinking about it , a lot ;; I knew I needed time to cook and reflect, and im so glad I gave myself that...

2024 started rough for me; I fell severely ill again - I was too busy cursing my life and dwelling over how betrayed I felt by things still not getting better despite my efforts that I didn't realize I was walking into a self fulfilling prophecy. Its true that the struggles I'm going through are yet to be solved, that its gotten so much to the point giving up seemed easier, and that a couple individuals haven't been making it easier on me either; I swayed and i rattled and I steered within feelings ranging from confusion to anger to dismay and all of this back and forth did nothing but remind me of yet another self-destructive loop I just don't want to allow in my life anymore. Its exactly the kinda stuff that made me ill to begin with, and I've been so lost dealing with everything in between that i forgot to tend to the actual core centering all of this...

It grew unbearable how much emotional and physical turmoil I was pushing myself into, and knowing how intertwined these two elements have been; I had to draw a line before i majorly screwed myself over, gathering any bit of inner will to discipline myself back into some sort of clarity, enough to at least look through a lens OUTSIDE my pain for once, towards the kind of life I want to lead, and the kind of life I don't; and I came to an understanding.

From my physical state to my mental, to the people and memories I've experienced, both the good and the bad - I want to prioritize the good.

Not in a shitty ass, toxic optimism kinda way but in a "I want to prioritize knowing and living the possibility that even when it hurts, even when i want to be gone, even when life doesn't align - There's still every good reason in the world to keep moving forward, to face things from a perspective of growth & compassion, and to grow to love the promise of a better tomorrow even when today was unbearable." To know that I don't end or begin in my suffering, that the infinite potential I speak so fondly of applies to me, as well...

I want to be able to wield and create and share that goodness, too, Especially when it is already in decline...And for all gods sake, to internalize that all of this STILL exists and STILL matters even when it doesn't work the first couple or dozens of times.

As for my place here in Tumblr...I know the sentiment might feel silly to some but the experiences, memories, and connections I've made here have truly been such a significant force in my life, and i don't want to give up on that ;; Not because of my own insecurities, or an inner state of hopelessness, and especially not over a bunch of emotionally immature Anons that dont know how to handle themselves; I want to forgive all of that.

I'm stubborn, and there's an unyielding force within me that no matter how many times it is struck down, it proved itself ridiculously resilient. I'm perking up with with a fiery confidence realizing just how many times it rose back up, enough to realize it is an unchangeable part of me ;_; I shouldn't underestimate that force, and I want to keep living by its side. Whatever positive change I can sprinkle onto my life and the lives of those I care for, I will! And the reason why this space in particular is so important to me, is because so much of that already exists here, alongside you folks;

THAT'S the kind of energy i want to nourish and walk into the new year with! I want to continue growing as a person, challenging my inner turmoils, undoing the self punishing dogmas that still haunt me, stop flexing my teeth over things that don't deserve my time and god DAMN, just - indulge in the stuff that makes me happy, even when I'm going through unhappy times.

So yeah...I guess that means, I'm back & I'm staying ;_;)🧡

I know i may seem like a broken record when it comes to expressing gratitude but - Thank you, thank you thank you everyone who have reached out for me, who so fondly kept me in their thoughts and kept encouraging me whenever i was hurting, both then and now...You folks mean more than whatever ailment or struggle I can go through, and while I'm unsure of how the future will look like as I'm still going through various challenges- I couldn't have asked for a cooler, sweeter audience to have by my side whenever Its time to take a rest or hype over our sexy delicious blorbos!

Speaking of which....................I have been cooking quite a lot of things in the time i was away 👀✨ I most definitely intend to serve them, eheheh

#Ronkey Posts #Waving a tired yet happy hello #Back from the dead and ready to SLAY or just to relax and chill and remember that goodness is a force undying ;_;#i missed you folks so much...

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jamesleecult · 26 days

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James lee x gn!reader : In case you come back one day.

The reader rants about their past relationships experience on a song comment section they recently listened to.

note: James kinda ooc(?), attempted to angst. I was planning to make it like the reader view, like their feelings then what happened(flashback or smthg idk) but I’m lazy. Not proof read, I’m bad. Reader kinda still hung up, if you squint enough I’m kinda listening to a sad song rn. Bold font for the typing and the italicized for flashback. (Plottwist dg wrote the song and saw the comment lol) with the help of Grammarly.

During the midnight hour, their finger danced across the keyboard, each keystroke echoing in the quiet room. Blending with the faint whirr of the glowing screen with melody’s in the background.

The sounds of the faint tapping on the keys stopped, few moments later - a sound of clicking can be heard as they began to typed again.

I've met it fresh and hot, it was years ago, yet it felt like yesterday. Actually, I've been walking so far that I can start again with someone else, but in my heart I secretly ask a question. Do I really still have a spot left for him?

In their distant and hazy memories, They shared soft whispers and laughter, the gentle breeze carrying their words like secrets through the air. With each stolen glance and faint smiles.

Or always ask myself that do I love the person in front of me equally to that person. Until now.

In the dimly lit ambiance of their favorite spot, he sat across from them- on the side, his demeanor cool and composed, concealing the turmoil within. They sensed a distance growing, a chill settling in the air.

“We need to talk,” he began, his voice steady, devoid of emotion, easily making their pulse quickened, a knot forming in the stomach.

"I met a lot of people, but in the end, no one can replace you." Right into the hook. I realized, I didn't intend to hurt the person infront of me.

“What’s wrong?”

I just want myself to try and start again, but now I understand that.

“This,” the red haired boy, he gestured subtly between them, “isn’t working anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

I did never stop loving or stop missing him at all.

Confusion etched across their face, so many questions left unanswered. He met their gaze, his eyes holding a depth they couldn’t fathom.

“I’m leaving.”

I wanna say something in case, even if I never get the chance to tell him.

“Leaving? Why?” Panic rising within them making their heart skipped a beat.

“I can’t stay,” the tall boy stated firmly, his tone unwavering. “It’s not safe for you.”

They searched his eyes for answers, finding only resolve. “Not safe? What are you talking about?—That’s not true. We love each other. We can work through whatever it is!”

I got so many questions that was never answered, you left with no room for me to ask further more. What’s happening? Did I do something wrong?

As they spoke, he looked away, sighing at their persistence. Unable to meet their gaze. “No, you don’t understand. I’m.. I’m dangerous.”

Their brows furrowed in confusion and annoyance. “What do you mean, dangerous?”

“I can’t explain” he said, his voice barely a whisper in disappointment. “But you need to trust me. You need to let me go.. there are things you don’t know about me. Things that could put you in danger if I stay.”

Their mind raced, trying to make sense of his words. “But I don’t understand. We are together, we love each other- why are you leaving me with just.. short explanations?”

Then you just disappeared for no reason. I couldn’t find you, as if you were gone.

“…farewell.”

And with that he just walked away, coldly stood up- leaving them sitting there, alone with nothing but unanswered questions and a heart heavy with sorrow.

I still have a spot left for you in my feelings, always will be the one for you, In case you come back one day.

After hours of uninterrupted typing, they finally halted, their hands hovering over the keyboard as they took a moment to gather their thoughts. Pressing the final key—

The soft click of the laptop lid echoing in the now silent room.

#lookism #lookism x reader #james lee #James lee x reader #dg x reader #lee jihoon #lookism dg #lookism james lee #Diego kang #kang dagyeom #lee Jihoon x reader #kang Dagyeom x reader #dg #jamesleecult #lookism spoiler #what the sigma

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exeggcute · 5 months

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well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.

tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.

anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.

to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!

they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!

the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.

also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft

okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:

these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...

...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:

(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)

so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.

recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!

I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)

when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:

what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)

with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.

big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:

(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)

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it-happened-one-fic · 5 months

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His Fake Date - Ruggie

Author Notes: I honestly hold the idea of Ruggie tricking himself into feelings via the whole fake dating scenario dear to me. It's probably why the only two fics I've written for Ruggie (this one and the Strictly NRC Dancing one) make use of this trope. And, now that I'm thinking about it, I should write more for Ruggie. With that said, this fic doesn't have a song inspiration and, as per usual, reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ fluff/ romantic/ slight pining

Word count: 1080

Ruggie had an understanding with you. You and him were the two poorest students at NRC and that was why the two of you had formed a sort of odd duo.

And it had all started with a simplistic bargain that Ruggie himself had come up with.

Every time Sam’s offered a couple’s deal, the two of you would go and hit up his store as a fake couple.

True, it was a lie, but that hardly bothered Ruggie. After all, if Sam was going to have that sort of unfair sale at school filled to the brim with terminal bachelors and minimal couples, then Ruggie didn’t see how a little deceit could truly be viewed as wrong.

And then, lo and behold, Azul got the same sales idea. A couple deal. So Ruggie could see only one reasonable course of action. Collect his fake significant other and have a nice meal for their fake date.

After all, it was your five-month anniversary.

The trickiest part of this whole scheme was actually selling the couple's gimmick. Your first run-through had been a disaster from start to finish, and you’d barely made it out of Sam’s with the goods.

So your scheme has grown. Convince everyone, yes, everyone, that the two of you were a real couple.

Which was why Ruggie had started swinging by your class bearing random homemade gifts. Then he started studying with you. And then the two of you started having lunch together. And now, at long last, he’d spent almost all of the free time in his day just lounging around Ramshackle dorm, doing nothing more than chatting with you.

The two of you had gone from unlikely partners to fast friends. Now it wasn’t odd for you two to share a single lunch or a book, should you be studying.

You’d come over to Savannaclaw simply to help him out, and he’d sometimes help you out with your dorm’s upkeep.

By now, there was only one person who knew the two of you weren’t the real deal. Leona.

Ruggie didn’t know how he knew, but the eternally smug and sleepy lion beastman had figured out your gig in record time. And yes, he’d mocked it.

He even followed the two of you to Sam’s store when a sale would crop up to watch the two of you try once more to fool the shopkeeper. And though Sam didn’t believe the relationship was genuine, no matter how many sappy nicknames Ruggie sprinkled in, he also couldn’t refute it.

Ruggie assumed that was why Leona followed along. Simply to watch in amusement as Ruggie steamrolled his way into a pretty hefty sale before sauntering out of the store with you on his arm.

But Leona was also the reason Ruggie knew things were getting out of hand.

It had been a seemingly normal day, with you chipping in and helping out with the laundry. You’d both been laughing and folding Leona’s clothes before you had bid both the housewarden and your fake boyfriend a warm farewell.

Ruggie had waved you out with a smile, unaware of any risk, until he turned and spotted Leona grinning all too smugly at him. That was how he knew something was amiss.

And Leona hadn’t made him wait for it. Instead, the smug lion simply reclined back on his bed. Presumably getting ready to take yet another nap, but managing to squeeze in one final amused comment, “You know, if I didn’t know better, I might actually buy you and the herbivore were the real deal now.”

Those words had given Ruggie pause.

No, they’d given him more than a pause. They’d given him a full-on stop that had him having to seek the refuge of his room to think this all out.

You and him…. The real deal?

The young man couldn’t deny that it was a rather nice thought that definitely gave him the warm fuzzies.

But when had it reached this point? When had he gone from totally faking the relationship to possibly having an inkling of a feeling for you? Ruggie could feel the frown decorating his face as he called himself out on his own crap while simultaneously walking back to his room.

Inkling of a feeling? More like an all-out crush on his fake date.

He’d gone from scamming the businessmen around NRC to quite literally scamming himself into feelings. And now he was in deep.

And what was worse was that it had taken Leona pointing it out for him to notice! How long had he been flirting around with you and actually meaning it?

The very thought of calling you ‘Pumpkin’ now was all but mortifying.

A soft knock on his door had him perking up, his ears lifting slightly as he called out, “Yeah?”

His door opened, revealing you standing there with a slightly sheepish smile, “Hey, sorry about this. I totally forgot I was wearing your bandana thingie.”

You held out the yellow fabric with an embarrassed smile that had him grinning slightly because he recalled exactly what had happened. He’d looped it around you while laughing about how he couldn’t let his ‘Pumpkin’ catch cold from the chilly breeze that had been coming in through Leona’s massive window.

A cheesy moment that Ruggie now regretted every second of. And even so, he found himself taking your hands and curling your fingers back over his bandana as you looked up at him wide-eyed.

“Keep it. You’ll get cold on the way home if you don’t, and I’ve got more,” He managed a bright grin despite how horribly mushy he felt as you blinked up at him in silent surprise.

“Are you sure?” A tiny part of him died at your question.

Yes, he was sure. Please don’t question why he was letting you take something of his, which he would normally never do, and please don’t read into it.

But despite panicking internally, Ruggie managed to play it cool. He was a first-rate scammer after all, and that took acting talent.

“Yeah, I’ll just filch another one from Leona’s closet. And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let my love get chilled,” He let out a snicker and you smiled. Relaxing immediately as you bought his excuse.

After just another brief moment, you left once more with his scarf in tow, and he let out a sigh.

Falling for his fake date….. Well, it could certainly be worse.

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mandaplease10 · 4 days

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A Polin Take Nobody Asked For #1

Here I'll be yapping about different things I've noticed from Polin's Story in the Bridgerton Series. Don't know how many parts this will be, but here goes the first!

Colin's Fake Persona

Most of us (with media literacy) realize that the Colin when see in the beginning of season 3 is not the real Colin. He has traveled and returned to the Ton with this new personality to try and fit into society and the other men.

Many have stated that this is because he acts this way (flirting, brothel visits, etc) because he is simply mimicking the actions of the other gentleman and his own brothers. This all makes sense and it is a very good take, but then I took a deep dive and came up with this.

What if the reasoning behind this new Colin is actually because of Pen and what happened last season.

Let me explain:

We learn from Colin that Pen didn't respond to his letters while he was away despite him constantly writing to her. It is never really mentioned or inferred that he stopped writing to her due to her non replies, so it seems like he had hope that she would respond one day.

Now, we know that Pen and Colin have always remained in touch whenever he was gone away based on previous seasons, which meant that he always had Pen to rely on to share his adventures with through his letters and still had a piece of home with him by reading her letters.

Fast forward to him returning this year and despite this new personality he still seeks out Pen. When he greets his family, he instantly looks around for Pen because she has always been there with his family when he returned in the past. Once he realizes she's not there, he glances over towards her house, as a reflex.

Then at the debutante event he seeks her out again and when he finds her can't wait to see and talk to her. In his mind, he thinks everything is okay and they'll jump right back into their old friendship.

But then she keeps their conversation short and he realizes that something is different with Pen. At this point he thinks it is from whatever is going on between Pen and Eloise, which could also not be helping the case, but isn't really the main reason.

Then we see their next interaction at the ball and once again, Colin seeks her out. He notices her when she walks in and even looks towards her direction once more even after everyone else has moved on. He again, notices that she leaves and is upset, despite being surrounded by the Fife and his friends and trying to keep up with the persona, he has to check on Penelope.

It's in this moment he finds out about why Pen is upset with him and as soon as he realizes this, that previous act, falters and he wishes to make things right, but Pen won't have it and walks away.

It's looking back at his words in this moment mixed with what we learn from his journal entry and just the overall arc of his character in these four episodes that got me thinking.

We hear from Colin that he missed Pen because she never responded to his letter. He missed their connection, their friendship, their conversation, his feeling of home, etc. So, while on his travels, he decided to seek out such a connection in the only way he knew how and that was by taking on the rake persona because that's the only gentlemen experience he knew.

I mean think about it, he was very young when his father died and we don't really know if Edmund had his own rakish days since he and Violet fell in love so young, so he only has his brothers to look up to as well as the rest of the rake bros in the ton.

Yet, we also know despite him taking on this new personality and action, he never did find that connection or fill the longing he was feeling from missing Penelope. The only reason why he keeps up with this act for so long is because he finally was feeling accepted by everyone, even his own family, so he felt like this was who he was supposed to be.

But when he realizes that what he feels for Penelope isn't just platonic love or feelings, he slowly starts to take off the mask and become the person he really is because Penelope accepts him.

Honestly, there is more I could say about this one topic, but this is already long enough. Ha

P.S. I will add that I really would love a prequel about Violet and Edmund. I know that Julia Quinn doesn't want to write it because of Edmund dying, but I still think Shonda and Netflix could do a similar spin off like Queen Charlotte where it's not their whole story, just the beginning. I definitely think Colin is similar to Edmund and it would be lovely to see any parallels between Edmund/Violet and Colin and Penelope 's love story.

#bridgerton #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton netflix #bridgerton s3 #penelope featherington #polin #polin bridgerton #penelope x colin

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yrbladie · 25 days

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—﹒୨` TELL ME GOODBYE (part 1/?)

˖ ࣪ summary. in which they're gone, but you call them one last time to hear their voice. but instead of the silent beeps and the voicemail message, you hear his quiet breathing. or in which you get one last chance to say goodbye.

˖ ࣪ characters. diluc, kaeya.

( warnings ) around 1k words. angst. gn!reader. heavy mentions of death (his). kind of modern setting since it has phones. mentions of living together (diluc). non-fluent writer

( a/n ) this is based on a book called "you've reached sam" and on a personal experience. also i'm not 100% sure if i should make a series out of this or not, i just had this idea randomly after reading the book and relating to it. and i kind of wrote this in a rush after an entire night awake so... if there is anything confusing or any mistakes, i'm sorry. and yes, i know it's small but i'm starting back slow :')

It had already been a year since your life had completely fallen apart, ever since your lover's passing. You kept wondering if you had made a mistake somewhere down the line or if your life had simply always been this dull.

Though time had completely stopped for you, the outside kept moving on, only precious memories remaining, like flames that spring to life one last time before being completely diminished to ashes.

Before, it was common to joke that you'd never be able to spend even a moment without his presence by your side, but who would've thought? Now, you'd have to spend an entire lifetime without him.

You, above everyone, knew how unfair destiny could be. But of all people, did it have to be him?

It's almost as if things hadn't changed much.

Your reserved seat in the tavern is still there, but this time it's Charles who greets you every time, a compassionate look in his eyes. And you don't know why — actually, you do — but you always find yourself waiting for him. Waiting until the moment you'll hear the door to Angel's Share open, and this time, surely, this time it'll be him. And you'd smile at him like you always did, and ask "where have you been? I've been waiting for you all this time!". But for some reason, you can't imagine what his answer would be anymore.

You always look for him everywhere you go, his red hair in the middle of the crowd, standing out like a rose in a field of lilies. Back then, no matter how much you tried to surprise him from behind, he'd turn around and greet you, like he was able to find you anywhere. He always did.

You always find yourself waiting for him to come back from wherever he is — even if you know where he is. Besides his father, in the cemetery next to the church.

On his birthday, his grave was filled with flowers of all kinds, and on most days, there was a single Small Lamp Grass that you'd change every few times. Sometimes, Kaeya would add a pink carnation to the pile on the days you couldn't go visit Diluc.

It was by no means a lonely and abandoned place there. And if you could be honest with yourself, you'd even say that spending your entire day besides his grave was better than to come home to a empty house. The place in which your voice echoed to nothingness and the silence was unbearable. The future, so meticulously planned together, now mocking you from a distance, out of reach.

Walking from room to room, you find bits of Diluc everywhere, your voice barely above a whisper as you try to connect all the pieces back together. As you try to remember how it felt to have him there. And you can't. You realize, with a coldness in your chest and a choked up sigh, that the human mind could be something so fragile.

So instead of dwelling on a life that no longer exists, surrounded by the shadows of a presence forever gone, you call him, just like you used to do. And for a single moment, it feels like you're back to the past. During the days where Diluc would never let it ring more than twice before answering.

And it seems like it rings forever as you wait for the usual voicemail to start playing, his casual voice saying that he'd call again later if it was something important. But this time, you're greeted by silence. And you're about to start wondering if your phone had glitched, before a familiar voice greets you again.

"(Name)?"

And maybe, you've really gone insane after all this time. Because it was still his voice, in the same way he used to say your name, although now he whispered, almost as if he couldn't believe it himself. Even if this was all a dream, just the fact you could hear him say your name again was a blessing in itself.

So you whisper back, "I'm here".

You can't help but feel like you've been there before. More times than you'd like to admit. It was like people around you were always doomed to disaster, so much so that it made you wonder whether you were somehow cursed.

"Well, then maybe we should be cursed together." Was Kaeya's lighthearted answer to your worries. Although he had quite the charming smirk at the time, you knew he was being serious.

Kaeya was someone that spoke about forever as if he was talking about the weather. In the way he joked about never leaving no matter what happened, and making promises under the stars.

In the end, you won the bet that neither of you chose to participate, the one you didn't even know you were part of. A bet with fate. It was like it was a cruel and twisted joke from destiny itself. To show you that indeed, your 'curse' would always be your downfall. Because no matter how many times you'd been there before, watching yet another loved one being buried, you still never expected it.

A fool's hopeless dreams. Like a firefly chasing a shooting star. Always looking up for the brighter days only to end up in the rainiest ones.

You had always loved rain. But now all your flowers where withering and your plant pots were overflowing, because as much as water can nurture, it can also destroy when it has nowhere else to go.

Mourning sometimes led people to the strangest places. Some would start swearing they could hear their loved one voice calling for them in their home, in the street. Some would even see them. And you couldn't help but wish this paranoia to yourself, because ever since Kaeya was gone, there was a simple and unending cycle of silence. No matter how much time you wasted waiting for something to happen during the late nights awake, you were never blessed by his faint presence again, created by a mind affected by delusions.

And so, with trembling hands you decided to dial Kaeya's number again. Like it had been on instinct, a habit too difficult to let go of. You heard the familiar ringtone as you took comfort in it. Slowly trying to delude yourself that things were still the same, that Kaeya was somewhere simply busy with work and he would call you back in a few minutes.

But the call was unexpectedly picked up. You wondered whether someone else already had his number, and you couldn't help but be angry, because how could they? But it wasn't their fault. Instead, you decided to speak as if it was Kaeya there, on the other side.

"Why?" You asked. Why did you have to leave? Why did you accept to go on that trip? Why didn't you stay when I asked you to? There were many questions you wished to ask, but knew you'd probably never hear the answer to.

"Uh… shouldn't I have picked up?"

The other person in the line suddenly says, their voice cheerful and so painfully familiar. You wondered if there was anyone else in the world that could have his voice, and now that you paid attention to it, you could hear his calm breathing through the phone, the same one that you used to hear when you'd call each other late at night only to sleep 'together'.

It seemed almost impossible to be him, but this time you wished to fool yourself just a little bit.

"Kaeya?"

And you can swear you hear his quiet chuckle, the one he always did when you said something silly.

"Yes, it's me."

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin x gn!reader #genshin angst #diluc x reader #diluc angst #kaeya x reader #kaeya angst

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whoishotteranimepolls · 28 days

Note

Why is everyone so biased toward One Piece? Literally every character from One Piece I see is the ugliest creature I've ever had the discourtesy to lay eyes on and they're winning by a landslide against genuinely attractive characters.

Oh boy, we've gone over this a couple times but it's been probably a month or two. It's not so much biased as it is a large and organized fandom. Plus good writing can make anyone hot even though the art style can take some getting used to.

Let me explain some fandoms have dedicated blogs that do nothing but reblog polls so that fandom can vote in random fandom related polls all in one place. Now in tournaments it is very unfair sometimes because they can organize themselves and rally to sway a vote quickly. Now I know one piece and bleach do have dedicated blogs when it comes to anime fandoms. Other non-anime fandoms that I know have blogs are Star Trek, Star Wars and Ninjago. I only know this because I used to be really big into voting in tournaments poll.

Plus I do normally share the Fandom overall week in review list and the anime and manga list. This shows the most popular Fandom related trends of the past week by Tumblr's own data. And as someone who's been following that page just for fun since probably 2012, one piece frequently is in the top 20 on the overall chart and I don't think I've ever seen it not in the top five on the anime and manga chart. The fandom is just that large and active. I mean one piece frequently trends when a new chapter or episode drops. It's just how it is.

And as someone who used to despise one piece, I did give it a shot after I watched and enjoyed the live action. Now it's actually one of my favorite animes. However, the manga is so much better due to the less than stellar pacing of the anime. The only reason I'm looking forward to the remake so much is for fixed pacing then maybe more people would give one piece of chance. Because the story and the writing is so good. However, the art style is not everyone's cup of tea and I do understand that and that is probably the number one complaint.

Fun fact, at one point there was a group of you campaigning to get one piece characters banned from my polls because the art style was misogynistic. Luckily that was short-lived because I was about to start blocking people. So let's not start that up again.

Now I will concede that the one piece fandom does like to do cursed polls And definitely request ugly characters on occasion just to watch the world burn. You know who you are. But we're talking about a show that has furries and fish people and characters that can turn into dragons and snake hybrids and dinosaur people. So there's a lot of variety in your humanoids not all of them are hot

I know it bothers a lot of people that one piece wins so many polls but I see this as a case of don't hate the player. Hate the game. So if you can't beat them, join them. So I would recommend if this really pisses you off so much start your own blog dedicated to reblogging polls for whatever fandom you think needs one. So you can start rallying and organizing your fandom against the one piece fandom so you can try to take them down. Don't know if it'll work but it's a start. Again, learn from them and use their tactics against them

#not a poll #ask #The one piece debate #again

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