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#Because i post them in order too I tend to get Stuck on certain blogs

ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 3 years

Note

Peace! It's nice to meet you, fellow mbti person! I'm so glad to have stumbled upon an ISTJ who is into typology! I have a request. I typed Elsa from Frozen in a post (I'll tag you) and I argued that she is not an ISTJ. I wanted to know what you thought, particularly if I made any mistakes in understanding the ISTJ personality type. Thank you so much in advance! I hope it's not too much of a bother. I'm an INTP btw.

Hi,

I want to start out with the following: for anyone reading, do not make a habit of having me analyze your posts about fictional characters. I am happy to help you type yourself, or answer questions about MBTI. However, in case it was not clear from the fact that I have only typed fictional characters in response to direct questions, that my answers have typically been very brief, and that I’ve repeatedly directed people to blogs that specifically focus on character typing, I’m not really interested. I should note: I had fun because I love picking up my metaphorical red pen and writing “wrong” over every other sentence, but it did also take me like an hour and a half and it’s over 3 pages long, and I don’t have time to do that regularly.

With all that said, the post had sufficient issues with both basic logical argument structure (I would very strongly recommend you revisit that INTP typing of yourself and look at something with high Fe instead) as well as understanding of MBTI that, because you asked directly, I will go through said issues. I want to make it very clear: this is going to be harsh. For both that and for the length I’m putting it below a read-more such that if you were looking for a brief thumbs up or down and not for extensive criticism, you are welcome to ignore it, block me, or whatever is best for you.

Basic argument structure: you open repeatedly with the most subjective arguments - that she gives off Fi and Ni vibes and you don’t see the Si in her. This will convince no one but yourself.

This argument is also mostly focused on “other people think this, but I don’t” which I find is only useful in a process of elimination argument. We’ll get to the final typing eventually but it is generally stronger to argue in favor of what you believe and then address potential disagreement rather than the reverse; by the time you get to ISFP I’ve read so many incorrect assumptions and subjective asides that I’ve long since stopped valuing the analysis of the work.

Issues with the ISTJ argument

(note: I have, and continue to type Elsa as an ISTJ so this will be the longest section in that I’m both pointing out flaws and arguing in favor of ISTJ; the rest will be solely focused on MBTI misconceptions or logical fallacy).

While it’s true people often mistake trauma for Si, this argument seems to equate trauma with being stuck in the past (people can just be stuck in the past without trauma for whatever other reason - it’s not healthy but it does not necessarily indicate literal trauma). There is also a false opposition here: It’s absolutely valid to argue that Elsa is traumatized, but that does not preclude her having Si, merely removes one argument in favor of Si.

You define Si (gathering concrete details to understand what to expect) but don’t actually argue why Elsa doesn’t do this. I’d argue, in opposition to the statement later in this paragraph, that she does. She is aware from the past that her abilities can harm her sister. She is aware from her past that when she avoided Anna, Anna was safe. She hasn’t been happy with the “conceal don’t feel” line, but it has achieved her goals and her expectation is that she’ll hurt someone if she stops following it.

If you’re referring to an Si-Fi loop (wallowing in self-pity), it doesn’t use Te since that’s how loops work. You don’t explicitly say this is in the context of looping although you introduce looping in the second sentence, but if you are referring to a loop this is incorrect. It’s true that ISTJs are often likely to use Si (preference for familiar/existing structures) and an Fi understanding of morality to direct their energies when they wish to change something (ie, they will change things through existing channels) but the focus on speaking out about injustice here is much more in line with enneagram 1 - a very common enneatype for ISTJs and an enneatype that’s rare for any non-TJ types, but not the enneatype I’d give Elsa nor an inherent ISTJ trait itself.

The part about self-discipline is mixed - a lot of ISTJs are very disciplined in certain areas (particularly professional/familial) but can neglect the self (not getting enough exercise/not eating well, not addressing burnout or more emotional issues) and I’d argue again, Elsa shows this: she’s not addressing the fact that she’s lonely and miserable, but she’s highly disciplined with regards to concealing her abilities and avoiding Anna even though it’s the very thing making her lonely and miserable.

I don’t necessarily think Let It Go is indicative of an Ne grip, but one can make changes outside of a grip, so this isn’t a useful argument, as it argues why an Ne grip is wrong, not why ISTJ is wrong - I would merely argue she’s not gripping at that time. Which is a general issue here: the argument you provide in this paragraph isn’t arguing against ISTJ, it’s arguing against other people’s arguments for ISTJ, which is an important distinction.

The final paragraph of the ISTJ section has numerous issues: ISTJs are not rebellious. They are not as resistant to change as stereotypes indicate, but even a healthier version of ISTJ Elsa would be unlikely to rebel and rather try to understand her parents’ argument, research other options, or look for a way to gain control over her powers while still working within the normal hierarchy. I addressed self-discipline (I should add: I don’t think a child/young woman having difficulty controlling magical powers with no training is an argument against self-discipline; my argument for self-discipline is that she stays in her room and away from her sister despite clearly hating it). It is also, to be blunt, mind-boggling that you (correctly) argue that trauma responses are not inherently Si but then refer to obsessive-compulsive behaviors as Si when that’s also a medical disorder completely divorced from the MBTI framework. Finally, her continuing to follow an order from her parents after they die is first, quite literally the definition of self-discipline (she’s the queen; no one else is going to discipline her for it, after all) and second, entirely in line with Si (this is what she has always done and it’s not great but it works) and is, arguably, if not medically obsessive-compulsive, an obsessive need to follow a compulsion. To be clear: this isn’t healthy ISTJ behavior, but since you’ve acknowledged grips and loops here I think an unhealthy interpretation of the type is very much on the table. You say her behavior is more in line with F types; it’s not and you don’t explain why.

If I may it seems as though, much in line with the argument here being against other arguments but ultimately not debunking the typing, your arguments against MBTI stereotypes focus on what’s incorrect but they tend to merely swing the pendulum to the opposite side (eg, that ISTJs are likely to rebel, in opposition to the stereotype that they’d mindlessly follow orders) rather than find the more nuanced middle ground of how people of a type or with a certain function behave.

Issues with the INFJ and INFP sections:

Ne users can and frequently do go out into the world; simply because Ne can be engaged without external physical stimulation doesn’t mean it never is. I’m also not really a fan of reading being classified as a strictly introverted pursuit; that’s falling into a pretty significant stereotype trap. Going out and exploring is a thing anyone can do but if anything I’d either associate that more strongly with high sensing (either Si or Se) or with extroversion.

My biggest issue here is the implication that searching for a meaning for existence or a purpose is in itself an indicator of Ni. This is just the human condition. If you’re going to argue that Si users are driven to rebel against injustice I don’t see how you can miss that that might in turn be driven by a belief that this is their purpose. Perhaps Si-Ne users aren’t as invested in having a single purpose, but wondering why you are on this earth and what it is you are here to do is just being a person, and to be blunter than I have been, I am struggling to understand how there has been so much effort made earlier to push away from stereotypes to the point of overcompensation in the opposite direction and then when it comes to the idea that only Ni users have a desire for meaning in life you just accept it without question.

Issues with the ISFP section:

At this point I’ve probably covered most of them though I’d like to point out that I don’t think there was an argument ever made explicitly for introversion; while the structure of the earlier arguments and focus on debunking was, as stated, flawed, I would at least round it out by eliminating ESFP as an option.

The argument here rests heavily on Let it Go, which is interesting because most of the terrible arguments for Elsa being an intuitive also rested squarely on that same brief if admittedly pivotal section of a full movie; in attempting to differentiate itself from those arguments it has in fact replicated the most significant flaws. Anyway, I’ve addressed that I don’t personally think Let it Go being indicative of a grip is how I’d argue for ISTJ, so that becomes invalid; I’ve tried to focus more on issues with logic MBTI than the contents of the movie but I’d add that “she was happy” is open to interpretation and her emotional state was probably fairly complicated. Relieved, sure, but she’s still ultimately isolated. (Also while mentally singing Let it Go, I realized that here’s that rebellion you were asking for in the ISTJ section).

You also outright say that when Elsa tries to reassert control it’s through Te. Yeah. That’s what a high Te user does. An ISTJ in a grip would indeed use Ne, but in quite literally any other circumstance (looping or just existing as an ISTJ not in a grip or loop) would reassert control via Te, so again, your argument does not sufficiently eliminate that Elsa is an ISTJ, just that she’s not a gripping ISTJ, which I’d agree with.

“She acts out when she is stressed and makes bad decisions” is also the human condition (and why I’ve frequently on my blog argued very strongly against typing via stress behaviors, because in the end most people...act out and make bad decisions when stressed), so this isn’t useful as an argument for anything.

In conclusion: multiple misconceptions about Ni and Si; no argument that I could find presented for high Fi, just Fi in general; inconsistency regarding whether or not Elsa rebels, and an overall reliance not on making a new argument but on arguing why other arguments were wrong. Given the title of the post you asked me to analyze I have to (admittedly this is extremely cynical of me) wonder if there was an underlying goal to come up with a typing that was different from commonly accepted arguments, rather than to simply type for its own sake.

#mbti #character typing #istj #seireinocookies

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elyvorg · 4 years

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Kaito Momota: How ADHD Can Be

It’s about time I properly shared a take of mine that I never really talk about in my usual analysis posts, which is my very firm headcanon that Kaito has ADHD. While this is partly thanks to me having ADHD myself, self-indulgence is far from the only thing making me think this. There are so many reasons why this makes every single bit of sense, and this post is going to talk about all of them.

And, see, I don’t want to alienate anyone by having them think I’m about to present an interpretation of Kaito that looks nothing like the Kaito we know, because that’s not it at all. I’m here to talk about how so many of the things that were already abundantly true about him also happen to fit perfectly with ADHD. Really, you could think of it more as me talking about how ADHD actually looks a lot more like Kaito than most people might have realised.

After all, ADHD is a frustratingly misrepresented disorder that’s way more complex and interesting than most people are aware. So not only does it make a huge amount of sense to see Kaito as ADHD, it’s also just genuinely fascinating to think that this could be influencing how his mind works and the way he reacts to things throughout the story. Imagining that Kaito has ADHD could never make him any less Kaito, but I do think it makes him yet another layer of interesting on top of everything else he already has going on.

So even if you don’t have any personal investment in ADHD yourself, I hope you can follow along with me for this. There’s a lot of fun stuff to talk about here.

(Since ADHD is so horribly misrepresented that I can’t expect the average person to know what it really involves, this post is also going to include something of a whirlwind explanation of ADHD itself, in order to help people better appreciate why all these things about Kaito are potentially ADHD things. With that said, obvious disclaimer: I am not remotely a mental health professional, just someone with self-diagnosed ADHD who’s read up a lot about it. Some of this will be from things I’ve read, and some of this will be from my own experiences that I’m now pretty sure are an ADHD thing. My descriptions of these symptoms are likely to be somewhat oversimplified because I’m focusing on explaining this headcanon rather than explaining ADHD itself, so please don’t take this as a definitely-100%-accurate ADHD resource. I’m happy if this can raise awareness of what ADHD is really like, but you should look elsewhere to learn more.)

Hyperfixations

One major thing that ought to be more commonly known about ADHD is that it’s really not a lack of attention; it’s an inability to properly control where our attention goes. It’s been described as an “interest-based nervous system” – we’ll involuntarily focus on whatever seems most interesting to us in any given moment, regardless of its objective importance.

This plus a reduced amount of dopamine receptors means that when we manage to find something that gives us a lot of dopamine, ie, is fun and engaging to think about, we cannot stop thinking about it even if we wanted to. Our entire lives will begin to revolve around this Thing that we enjoy, thinking about it, doing things related to it and consuming more information on it to get as much of that sweet dopamine as possible. This can often be to the detriment of everything else, including more objectively important matters, because who cares about that stuff when Thing is the best thing ever!?

As an example: as you might imagine, I have been hyperfixated on DRV3 and especially on Kaito for over two years now. I have not been able to stop thinking about Kaito even when I’m supposed to be doing other things, and there’s literally nothing that’s more fun for me right now than sharing all these thoughts of mine with other people. We also love to infodump about our hyperfixations to anyone who’ll listen, after all. That’s precisely why this post exists, along with many more like it on both my blogs.

SPACE

So, this is perhaps one of the most easy-to-spot signs that Kaito might be ADHD. Because, man, he really loves space. Sure, any astronaut would have at least some level of interest in it, but Kaito is so obsessed with space that he introduces himself with a grandiose space-themed title, wears a galaxy print on his slippers and the inside of his jacket, and simply couldn’t wait for a college degree and had to make sure he got up there as fast as possible.

Granted, it’s not like Kaito talks about space 100% of the time. He is stuck in a killing game, after all, which is also kind of important to pay attention to. But, still, no matter what more-objectively-important things they can push themselves to focus on when necessary, there’s always a part of an ADHDer’s brain that’s near-constantly thinking about their hyperfixation anyway and will take any opportunity to bring it up and make things about that if they possibly can. And, well, Kaito still talks about space quite a lot considering that he’s in a life-or-death situation that doesn’t have anything to do with space at all (at least, as far as he knows for most of the story).

There’s one delightful bit of white noise I absolutely love in a debate in trial 4 where Gonta is suggesting a vehicle could have crossed the river. Someone responds to this with “Like a rocket?”, despite the fact that, A, there were obviously none of those in the Virtual World, and B, you don’t use those to cross rivers. Kaito, you dork, now is not the time. But of course now’s the time, there is always time to be thinking about space-related things, no matter how impractical and irrelevant it might be. Someone has been murdered, everyone else’s lives are on the line – not to mention his illness and the huge pile of inferiority issues he’s struggling with at this point in the story – yet amongst all that, Kaito’s brain still found time to go, “hey, speaking of vehicles, aren’t rockets the coolest!?” And… yeah, that’s genuinely what hyperfixations are like.

Then there’s the time Kaito asked Maki what her favourite spaceship was, like this is just an obvious go-to conversation starter in his mind, because of course he has a favourite spaceship. He has thought a lot about his favourite spaceship (or spaceships; let’s be real, there’s probably several that he thinks are SO COOL and might call his favourite depending on the circumstances) and could fill ages talking about nothing but that. Even though he knows this conversation ought to be making its way towards helping Maki open up about her past – this is one of his training sessions, after all! – there is still a part of Kaito that really just wants to talk about space, because a part of him always wants to talk about space.

We can see this as well in multiple FTE invitation dialogues (those brief lines describing how they hung out before the actual event starts) in which Kaito apparently spends it talking to Kaede or Shuichi about space, just because he can. There’s also several of his hangouts in the Salmon Team bonus mode where Shuichi’s suggestion of what to do doesn’t really have anything to do with space, but Kaito finds a way to make it about space anyway. ADHD minds are hyper-associative and make connections between concepts very easily – and, naturally, they’re particularly liable to make connections to the thing that the mind is already spending the majority of its time thinking about. So it’s really not so surprising or remarkable at all that Kaito can find ways to make even seemingly-totally-unrelated topics about space somehow, not if he’s ADHD.

(…To be fair, a particular fixation on a certain topic to the point of repeatedly bringing it up when it’s not called for isn’t necessarily that uncommon among Danganronpa characters, what with their talents. But hey, that doesn’t have to make Kaito any less likely to be ADHD. Rather, it would actually make sense for Ultimate students to have a higher than average proportion of ADHDers among them, since an ADHD-fuelled level of intense interest in a thing is more likely to make someone become hugely talented at it out of accumulated knowledge and practice. I’ve been increasingly thinking that Kaede could perhaps be ADHD, too, for example. But that’s not for this post; we’re talking about Kaito here.)

The longevity of space

ADHDers will generally go through many different hyperfixations throughout their life, sometimes one at a time, sometimes somehow managing to juggle more than one. An individual hyperfixation tends to last anywhere between a few weeks to a few years depending on its intensity and the longevity of the topic, but it’s rare for it to be more than that. Usually, sooner or later, the overwhelming passion for the thing will wear itself out.

And admittedly, Kaito’s passion for space has been there since he was a kid and never faded – and never will, of course! – which is far more persistent than most hyperfixations tend to be. But then again, there’s so many different things related to space for him to get excited about! Hyperfixations fade either when something else comes along that’s more exciting because it’s new and fresh, or when you’ve squeezed every last possible drop of dopamine out of it such that it no longer holds quite the same thrill. But with a topic as vast as space, there’s always more to learn to keep the excitement fresh, especially now that Kaito’s an astronaut trainee and is really on the front line of new space knowledge and technologies and is actually going to get there himself one day!

Besides, it’s not like ADHDers’ hyperfixations are completely outside of their control. My own hyperfixation on V3 and Kaito would probably have faded ages ago if I hadn’t kept it going by constantly making more content about it such as this. And similarly, there’s no way Kaito would have wanted to let go of his passion for space, not if he had any say in it himself, so he’d have done whatever he could to keep it burning during the times when the spark maybe wasn’t quite there as much. I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable that Kaito could have remained hyperfixated on space for so unusually long and still be showing no signs of stopping. We all know how stubborn he is.

(House plants)

Kaito has probably had a few other, lesser hyperfixations alongside his lifelong passion for space. For example, I like to think that his fondness for house plants, according to his report card, is to such an extent that he was once hyperfixated on them. (This would have been for reasons that totally don’t bear a suspicious resemblance to other things he cares about.) I doubt he’s currently hyperfixating on them at the moment – at no point does he ever try to shift the conversation to being about house plants unprompted – but that wouldn’t stop him from still being generally fond of them and retaining all of the “useless” information he learned about them back when he was obsessed. One very rarely ever stops caring about a hyperfixation topic entirely; rather, the fixation just fades and the topic becomes no longer constantly on someone’s mind. I’m sure Kaito still could and would talk your ear off about house plants just as much as he would about space if you happened to get him started.

People

More importantly, though, I think that another of Kaito’s less obvious and intense hyperfixations – but still a very long-lasting one that’s active right now – could be, simply, people. Just, people in general: their flaws and complexities and differences, all the many ways in which they can communicate and work together, and the amazing potential they have to achieve great things if they do so. Kaito is so passionate about this stuff and has so many fully-formed opinions on things of this nature that make it seem like he’s spent a lot of his free time thinking about this, just because he can. Maybe he began to get interested in it after realising that communication and teamwork is important for an astronaut – but it also reads to me like Kaito is into this kind of stuff not because he needs to be for the sake of getting into space, but simply because he finds it genuinely fascinating and couldn’t stop thinking about it even if he had to. (Which would also help keep him interested in space, because it’s intrinsically linked to this other topic that Kaito finds fascinating!)

And within this, Kaito definitely hyperfixates in particular on his sidekicks. Once he’s made someone into his sidekick, which functionally means that he’s going to devote himself to supporting them through their issues and helping them reach their potential, he really devotes himself. It’s his hyperfixation on people in general, but concentrated on a specific person(s) that he can have a direct and tangible impact on, which means even more to him than just his feelings about how awesome and fascinating humanity is as a whole.

Kaito is really, really good at supporting his sidekicks, after all. He spends so much time, even when he’s not around them, thinking about what their problems are and the best ways he can help them. He was clearly eyeing up both Shuichi and Maki as potential sidekicks at least a day or two before actually acting on it and inviting them to training, as if he was trying to gauge exactly what their struggles were and how best to help before jumping right in. He approaches helping each of them in very different ways, making it clear that he’s specifically thought about who they are and the best tactics to help them individually instead of just carelessly using the same old script each time. On more than one occasion, he drops something on them one morning – the nickname “Maki Roll”, and the “bonus” training that becomes the katana scene – that he hadn’t mentioned at all the previous night, meaning that he’d been thinking further about how to keep helping them while on his own overnight.

So it seems to me like maybe it’s not just his selflessness, or his somewhat unhealthy co-dependency (more on that later, actually) that makes Kaito so good at this. I don’t think he could even stop thinking about helping his sidekicks if he tried. Figuring out how to help another human being grow and change and reach their full potential is so fascinating and engaging and rewarding to him that how could he ever not be compelled to do that as much as he possibly can?

The price of caring

This does, however, come with a downside. Because Kaito is fixating so strongly and uncontrollably on supporting his sidekicks, because doing that matters so much to him, it’s only going to hurt him more when he begins to feel like he’s failing at it. He can’t just brush something like that off as not really a big deal, because of course it’s a big deal. It’s everything to him, and it’s literally not possible for him to make himself feel like it isn’t.

It’s just as bad as if space suddenly twisted and became painful to think about somehow. Which… I guess that actually kind of happens too, when Kaito starts to realise that he’s never going to make it up there. And he can’t deal with that by trying to tell himself it was never that important, either, because space is always important to him. Even if he wanted to switch that part of his brain off or ignore it to help himself cope, he just couldn’t.

Caring so intensely about things feels amazing and makes a person wonderfully passionate, but it can also be a double-edged sword.

(Executive dysfunction?)

One big negative side to ADHD is that it tends to cause executive dysfunction, which, to massively oversimplify it, more or less means the profound inability to get yourself to do things that you know you’re supposed to be perfectly able to do. That interest-based nervous system does not do well with motivating us to do tasks that are objectively important but aren’t interesting or fun to actually carry out, resulting in a mental block that can appear to the outside observer like wilful laziness, even though it really, really isn’t.

This appears to be one part of ADHD that Kaito manages to avoid having to deal with. (He may superficially seem “lazy” during training, but that has nothing to do with his brain and everything to do with his body and the fact that he’s sick and doesn’t want anyone to know.) But I think that’s mostly because none of the reasons that ADHD causes executive dysfunction actually apply in the killing game.

One of the few things other than interest that motivates an ADHD brain is urgency – suddenly they can do that boring essay they’ve been putting off when the deadline is tonight, showing remarkable speed and focus in a fit of nervous anxiety over the potential consequences of turning it in late. And there’s plenty of literal do-or-die urgency to motivate Kaito during the killing game, so there’s no way he’d ever not be motivated to do what he feels he needs to do to help everyone there. Plus, the things he’s trying to do involve helping people, something he inherently finds interesting, so he’d be motivated for those reasons anyway even if it wasn’t quite so life-threateningly vital that he does so.

(Kaito is a bit flakier and liable to miss important details during the investigations and trials, mind you. This might be because, while the urgency of “if we don’t solve the case we die” is looming over him, the actual details of the case aren’t something that instinctively feels urgent or that he inherently finds interesting, so it’s harder for him to pay proper attention and take it all in even when he’s trying to. Kaito has plenty of intelligence in a lot of ways, but his brain is evidently not wired for investigations and deductions like Shuichi’s is – he’s perfectly capable of following Shuichi’s logic and understanding it, but not of figuring any of that stuff out himself in the first place. This could partly be down to Kaito having ADHD and just not being interested enough in these particular kinds of mental exercises to be able to get his brain to focus on them as much as he’d need to in order to solve them.)

I also don’t think executive dysfunction would have got in Kaito’s way much during his regular life before the killing game. (You know, if he’d actually had one, but let’s pretend for now that he did.) Motivation issues can be helped a lot by an externally-imposed structure telling you what you need to do and when, which is why a lot of ADHD people don’t even notice any problems while they’re in a school system and only fall apart once they’re adults and are suddenly expected to structure their own life. Kaito’s astronaut training would definitely give him plenty of structure to work from so that he always knew what he needed to do and never had this issue. It’s also really challenging, which is another thing that helps keep ADHD people interested and motivated. And while the actual end goal of getting to space is far-off enough that it wouldn’t be able to work as a direct motivator to an ADHD brain (we are bad at things with delayed gratification), everything Kaito’s learning would still be related to space and communication and teamwork, so he’d be interested in learning all of it simply for its own sake.

Emotional hyperarousal

Another big defining feature of ADHD that isn’t nearly as well-known as it ought to be is that it amplifies emotions to a far greater intensity than those of neurotypical people. ADHDers’ feelings and reactions are naturally bigger and louder and just more than most people’s – which sounds a lot like Kaito, doesn’t it? He’s always larger than life, energetic and passionate about everything, not just his specific hyperfixations. Look at how excited he gets about just seeing snow! And he has so much enthusiasm for so much else, too – as he puts it: “there’s nothing unnecessary in this world!” When Kaito feels things, he feels them full-throttle, with no half-measures, which is just how Kaito would always want things to be!

…But, whether he likes it or not, that also applies to the painful feelings just as much as the good ones.

Emotional dysregulation

Kaito can often be very reactionary and get unnecessarily riled up over minor things that don’t really warrant such a dramatic response. If you think about it, this isn’t really something he’d want to do, because he’s always trying to stay positive and keep people on his side. So apparently it’s something he simply can’t help, as if his brain is just wired to make him more liable to do that.

If even minor slights can cause an overreaction like that from an ADHD brain, then imagine how much worse it is when the stimulus is something genuinely worth being upset over. That already-painful emotion gets amplified to even greater levels, to the point that it can be almost unbearable. People with ADHD can often have a more difficult time dealing with things, not necessarily because they’re emotionally weaker, but because they simply feel things harder than most other people do.

Kaito goes through a lot of emotional pain throughout the story – and he’s really pretty bad at dealing with it all. He basically has only two not-very-healthy methods for doing so. One is to try to ignore it entirely by focusing on something more positive, which on its own could be put down to his desire to come across as an invincible hero who can inspire people. So this particular unhealthy tactic doesn’t necessarily mean that he wouldn’t be able to properly deal with these emotions if he actually stopped being an idiot and tried to.

However, Kaito’s second unhealthy coping mechanism is to turn the pain into anger – sometimes to the point of lashing out in ways he doesn’t mean to. Punching Shuichi at the end of the first trial is very much caused by Kaito being unable to contain his pain over Kaede’s death rather than any controlled attempt to push Shuichi forward, since he regrets it and apologises for it the next morning. And then the agonising truth that Gonta killed someone is even harder for Kaito to bear, leading to him lashing out at Shuichi again in what was very much desperate pain-fuelled anger with no rational basis for it. Unlike with simply hiding his pain, lashing out like this is not something Kaito would ever want to do; it’s not exactly very heroic of him, after all. So this suggests that there’s more to Kaito’s bad coping mechanisms than just him trying to appear strong and not worry people – that sometimes the pain gets so unbearably intense that ignoring it isn’t possible and he just can’t deal with it and loses control of himself.

Uncontrollable bouts of rage can be a common problem that comes with ADHD because of the amplified emotions and difficulty properly regulating them – and it’s definitely a problem Kaito suffers from, too. That part of Kaito that lets him get so wonderfully passionate in helping everyone around him might well be exactly the same part of him that simply cannot handle it when he realises Gonta murdered someone and leads to him lashing out at his best friend.

Moping (…not a technical term)

…Okay, I just said Kaito has only two unhealthy coping mechanisms for painful emotions, but maybe there’s also kind of a third: unconstructively moping about it. This doesn’t sound like Kaito at all – he frequently gives others advice about not doing exactly that – but he can actually be seen falling into doing so a couple of times if you look closely.

In chapter 2, when Ryoma’s behaviour bothers him for all the wrong reasons and he has no intent of actually doing something about it, Kaito really should be just trying not to think about it at all and focusing on something more constructive like helping Shuichi. However, the places he hangs out in for his chapter 2 FTEs and his invitation dialogues indicate that he spends a whole three FTE slots just brooding unhelpfully about the state Ryoma’s in. This is definitely not something he wants to be doing, since he hastily changes the subject if Shuichi hangs out with him.

And in case 4’s investigation, after Shuichi’s cell phone experiment makes Kaito feel useless and unneeded (he thought Shuichi needed his help! – but, no, turns out he actually really didn’t), the pain of that feeling noticeably lingers with him for most of the rest of the investigation. He’s in enough of a bad mood about it afterwards that Maki notices it through his less-expressive virtual avatar, and he doesn’t even come with her to call Shuichi back from the rooftop and just logs out on his own in a sulk. Then he also ends up explicitly unaware in the trial of some of the information Monotaro shared with the whole group once they’d logged out, meaning he was apparently still too wrapped up in feeling useless to be paying proper attention.

(And these are the two examples of Kaito doing this that are noticeable thanks to subtle clues in his behaviour – but since Kaito would obviously never draw attention to it, maybe he actually does this a lot more than those two times and we just can’t normally see it.)

See, another thing about emotional dysregulation – plus the difficulty in controlling the focus of your attention that comes with ADHD – is that it can be hard to stop yourself from thinking endlessly about painful things, even when you very much don’t want to be thinking about them. I once saw a tumblr post describing ADHD as Chronic Cannot Leave It Alone Disorder, and I can confirm that, yes, this is very frustratingly accurate, for the bad things as well as the good. It’s possible that Kaito’s advice about not moping when you could be doing something to make a difference might have originated for himself, to try and mitigate his brain’s tendency to do this. But while I imagine this helped quite a bit in letting him control his thoughts and stay focused on the positives, it appears that, despite his best efforts, it still doesn’t always work.

Impulsiveness

The Primarily-Hyperactive subtype of ADHD (aka the one that’s definitely the subtype Kaito has, for obvious reasons) is sometimes called Hyperactive-Impulsive type, because impulsiveness tends to be a big part of it, too. I think this is kind of a combination of emotional hyperarousal and inability to control attention – the impulse to Do A Thing gets amplified to the point that it floods the entire brain, and it becomes nigh-impossible to ignore it and consider the potential negative consequences before acting on it. It’s like that Chronic Cannot Leave It Alone Disorder gets concentrated into a single instant of frequently-terrible decision-making.

It’s no secret that Kaito is impulsively reckless – and if you think about it, it’s to an extent that’s honestly kind of pathological. Cheating his way into the astronaut exam early, for example, could very well have permanently ruined his chances of ever being allowed in and making it to space. He should never have considered that a risk worth taking. So apparently he just wasn’t properly considering the risk at all – not even for the most important decision of his life.

A lot of the time, these kinds of bad decisions can be fuelled by those amplified painful emotions that get turned into anger like I talked about before. The stress of the killing game causes Kaito to very nearly get himself killed on two occasions early in chapter 1, almost lashing out in a way that would have broken school regulations. Kaito is perfectly aware of the consequences for doing that – but in the heat of the moment, it just doesn’t matter to him. His overwhelming desire to express his pain-fuelled rage simply blocks out everything else from his mind. A similar thing happens in chapter 5 when Kaito’s attempt to punch Kokichi after the supposed mastermind reveal only results in him getting knocked out and captured by the Exisals that were very obviously there and under Kokichi’s control. It’s summed up pretty well by the fact that Kokichi outright tells Kaito that punching him won’t fix any of the things he’s angry about, and Kaito’s response is, “Even if that is the case… I can’t get over it if I don’t punch you!” To Kaito, in these moments, it’s never about the consequences; it’s about needing to let out his too-strong emotions right now and to hell with everything else, even if that “everything else” literally might include his life.

Then there’s everything that happens with Kaito at the casino. The consequences for him here aren’t exactly dire, since all he loses out on is the chance to buy a prize, but still – that uncontrollable fixation on the anticipated thrill of winning and the inability to consider the really-very-high possibility that he’ll lose is exactly the type of reckless thrill-seeking that people with this type of ADHD often have.

In fact, the bonus scene at the casino is literally titled “Kaito’s Gambling Problem” – and as you might imagine, impulsive-type ADHDers are at a higher risk of developing harmful addictions to things such as gambling. While this isn’t an actual gambling problem here because no real money is involved and it does seem that he never gets tempted by the casino again after the second time, the scene’s title apparently wants us to consider that Kaito has the potential to develop a legitimate gambling problem should he ever get old enough to legally gamble in the real world. Which is a weirdly specific thing for the writers to make a point of when it has no bearing on the plot… so it makes me wonder if they could have actually been trying to tell us something here.

This kind of impulsiveness can also cause people to blurt out their thoughts without thinking about the consequences, potentially resulting in upsetting someone or embarrassing themselves. At first glance, considering that he has a lot of thoughts he’s determined to hide from the surface, Kaito doesn’t seem to have too much of a problem with this kind of impulsiveness. If he did, you’d think he’d find himself muttering stuff like “I feel like crap”, or “I hate this place” all the time and then having to hastily paper over it and insist that no that’s definitely not how he’s really feeling at all. So apparently, he’s fairly good at thinking before he speaks when it matters to him?

Except, when he’s in the Virtual World, Kaito makes multiple unthinking comments to the effect of “I like this avatar body”, which he has to awkwardly brush off when Shuichi questions him, since it rather hints that something’s up with his real body. He’s suddenly really bad at this, even though he was pretty good at it the rest of the time.

So maybe what’s going on is this: in an effort to stay positive at all times because he’s Kaito, Kaito trained himself to have a constant, unshakeable mental filter that prevents himself from impulsively blurting out how he’s feeling if it’s something negative. However, he can’t stop himself from still randomly blurting out whatever positive things are on his mind. This usually isn’t a problem, but it can sometimes include things – it feels so great to not be dying for once! – that he really doesn’t want to be voicing either, if he only gave it a moment more thought.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria

Often shortened to RSD, rejection sensitive dysphoria is a specific and especially nasty kind of emotional hyperarousal / dysregulation that almost all ADHDers suffer from. (At least, I feel like it should probably be classified as a subtype of that, though I’m not sure if that’s the official take, so don’t quote me on this.) The ADHD researcher who coined the term defines it as: “extreme emotional pain triggered by the perception – not necessarily the reality – that a person has been rejected or criticised by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short and failing to meet their own high standards or others’ expectations.” That second sentence is important and frequently overlooked, because it indicates that, despite the name, this isn’t only about perceived rejection by others; it can also be about an entirely personal sense of failure.

I first read about this concept while I happened to be hyperfixating on Kaito’s mindset specifically in early chapter 5, aka that time he avoids Shuichi out of shame over feeling like he failed him in the previous trial, due to his own unreasonably high standards for being a “hero”. (If you didn’t realise that this is what’s going on with Kaito in early chapter 5, go read this other post of mine and get caught up, because you’re going to need to be for the rest of this section.) And, naturally, though I was supposed to be reading that article about RSD to help me figure out if I had ADHD, my brain made some connections. That was the moment I began to have this headcanon; everything else in this post blossomed from that as I thought about it more and realised a lot of other things about Kaito also fit this incredibly well.

The null hypothesis

So, let’s consider early chapter 5. In fact, let’s assume for a moment that Kaito doesn’t have ADHD and his emotions function like a regular person’s. He would still, of course, feel like he’s utterly failed Shuichi by showing himself to be weaker than him and doing the opposite of supporting him during trial 4. That part’s not specifically based in anything ADHD and is just a product of Kaito’s psychological issues about heroes, which I’ve already talked about plenty in that post I just linked. (I don’t want anyone to think that my ADHD headcanon is getting in the way of or diminishing any of that; this is just another layer on top of it.)

Kaito really wants to make things right and apologise for his mistakes in the trial (and for his really-not-actually-mistakes too, for that matter). He really wants to fix the rift between him and Shuichi and not leave the two of them painfully torn apart like this. He knows the responsibility to do so is on him and not Shuichi. But… he doesn’t do it. Why not?

The only possible reason would be that he’s just being a coward and running away from the guilt and shame he’s feeling rather than facing up to it. Except… Kaito’s not a coward. He may arguably seem like one in some ways given how he refuses to acknowledge his weaknesses to his sidekicks – but that’s not to protect himself and his own emotions; it’s because he’s idiotically convinced that it’s better for them that way. Here, now that he believes he’s already failed Shuichi as badly as he ever could, he should feel like he has nothing more to lose on that front (and Shuichi never even needed him anyway, right?), so there should be no harm in owning up to it and at least apologising for what he’s done wrong.

Granted, Kaito is busy trying to make up for his failure through his totally-great escape plan – but that’s still no reason why he can’t also apologise first and then keep trying to make up for things with the plan anyway. And it’s not at all like it was in the trial itself, when he was too wound-up in the heat of the moment to be thinking clearly. He’s had plenty of time to process what happened and regain control of himself and become consciously aware of what he knows is the right thing to do here.

The guilt and shame Kaito would be feeling from his belief that he’s failed Shuichi would still hurt pretty bad, sure – but I don’t think, if it really is a proportionate emotional response to what he feels like he’s done, that it’d be something he couldn’t face up to. He’s incredibly resilient and knows that sometimes you’ve just gotta face painful things head-on, and he should be more than willing to do so for the sake of making things at least slightly better between him and Shuichi.

So, I argue this: Kaito avoiding Shuichi the way he does in early chapter 5 doesn’t quite make sense unless he has ADHD. (Or perhaps some other neurological disorder that would have a similar effect on his emotions, but I’m not knowledgeable enough to be sure what other possibilities could fit.)

Too much pain

I can confirm from experience: RSD freaking sucks. Any feeling of “I should be able to do this, but I messed it up”, or any seemingly innocuous comment from someone you care about where they either point out a mistake you made or that could possibly be interpreted to mean they don’t really care about you that much – these things can hurt like hell, so much more than they have any right to. It’s as if that insignificant twinge of disappointment that most people would feel just gets multiplied by like a thousand until it practically feels like you’ve been stabbed in the chest. And I should note: the rejection version tends to be triggered by people important to you, but I find it’s especially bad if it’s someone I not only care about but also look up to. You know, like Kaito very definitely does to Shuichi.

Case 4 has plenty of things that would trigger RSD for Kaito before even getting into the worst parts of the trial. That cell phone incident in the investigation I mentioned earlier, where Kaito thought Shuichi needed his help for a second and then ended up feeling like he really never did at all? And all the times Shuichi shoots down one of Kaito’s arguments in the trial and tells him he’s wrong (which happens seven times, by the way)? Every single one of those seemingly-minor moments would have hurt Kaito not just a little, but one hell of a lot. It’s honestly really impressive and a testament to Kaito’s resilience that he managed to keep himself together and show barely any signs of how he was feeling for as long as he did.

It’s also very relevant that RSD is known to potentially trigger an externalised response of instantaneous rage, exactly like the outbursts of anger I mentioned in the previous section. I’ve already talked plenty elsewhere about how a lot of the pain that’s causing Kaito to lash out in trial 4 isn’t just over Gonta’s guilt but is also over how he’s being made to feel like a horribly inferior failure compared to Shuichi – and, yep, that’s still a perfect match to Kaito having ADHD.

By the end of the trial, Kaito’s issues and irrationalities have rendered him convinced that he’s utterly failed to be the hero he’s supposed to be, and that Shuichi obviously doesn’t need him or care about him any more (if he ever even did in the first place). That’s giving Kaito plenty of genuine conscious reason to be hurting pretty damn hard to begin with, before his ADHD brain-wiring even sinks its claws into it. Now try to imagine that pain getting disproportionately multiplied by like a thousand – fucking ouch, and then some. Nobody, not even someone as brave and resilient as Kaito, should ever be expected to be able to face up to that, to actively make it even worse by talking about it and bringing those feelings to the forefront, especially not when doing so would just be showing even more weakness to the person it hurts so much to show weakness to. I don’t believe it’d be fair to call anyone a coward for that.

Kaito’s not a coward; he avoids Shuichi in early chapter 5 because he is genuinely in too much pain to bear. The only way he can deal with it at all (now that he’s not in the heat of trial 4 and is very determined to at least not make things even worse by lashing out in anger again) is by simply trying to pretend the problem doesn’t exist. If he manages to prove himself as a hero, maybe it’ll stop hurting quite as much and he’ll be able to face up to it, but until then, avoiding the pain is all he can do.

(Obligatory Harmonious Heart mention)

Since I relish the opportunity to bring this scene up whenever I can, I might as well add that Kaito’s Harmonious Heart event is another instance in which he’d be feeling some pretty rough RSD – at least, in every outcome except the best one in which Shuichi reassures him that they’re friends and it’s okay to open up to your friend. It’d be especially bad in the worst outcome where Kaito realises Shuichi has seen his “weakness” and feels like he’s failed him. Probably not quite as bad as in canon, but still, ouch.

In fact, an interesting thing about that worst outcome is that Kaito specifically says he feels “so embarrassed”, which, when you think about it, doesn’t really sound like the kind of thing anyone would expect Kaito to ever describe himself as feeling, even at a time like this. However, I know from my own experience that “embarrassment” is in fact something that it’s easy to mistake RSD for when you don’t know what it is – just an embarrassment that’s somehow agonisingly painful, because that’s totally how embarrassment usually works for most people, right. So, A, this fits perfectly yet again, and B, since you’d usually not think to have Kaito ever use that word… it makes me wonder if the writer for this scene knew.

Coping methods (and why Kaito doesn’t have them)

Of course, it’s not like there aren’t methods to try to combat and mitigate the incredible pain that RSD can bring. One that I’ve found works really well (thanks to Kaito himself!) is exercising. It really helps to burn off that excessive emotional energy – and not necessarily just RSD, but any of the disproportionately painful emotions ADHD brings – by translating it into physical energy. “Let your sweat wash away all your sadness, fear, worry and hardships; just start moving your body and your pain will become memories before you know it,” actually sums up how this feels pretty well! It’s quite possible that this advice – heck, maybe his entire exercise-to-help-the-mind thing in general – is something else that Kaito first came up with for himself, after he found that it helped him calm down and feel better whenever he’d get too upset about something.

…So it’s really rather cruel that Kaito’s worsening illness also happens to lock him out of one of his only genuinely-healthy coping mechanisms for what he’s going through emotionally in chapters 4 and 5, isn’t it.

Another thing that’s really helped me in dealing with my own RSD is simply understanding it. When you know that it’s a disproportionate emotional response, you can remind yourself that things aren’t truly as bad as the pain is making them feel like they are, which makes it easier to take steps to stop it hurting, such as talking to the friend who unintentionally triggered it and having them reassure you that of course they care about you. Without that understanding of it, it’s all too easy to think, “if it hurts this much, I must deserve to be hurting this much,” which, yeah, that’s a bad path to go down.

One pretty important part of my headcanon that Kaito has ADHD, then, is that he definitely has no idea he has it. If he’d been diagnosed with it at some point in his life, he’d understand these problems of his better. Even if the doctors never told him all these things I’ve been mentioning here about how ADHD actually works (which is way too disappointingly common, so I gather), Kaito would have researched this stuff himself at some point, in order to better understand himself and know his limits so that he can work around them to be the best person he can be. He wouldn’t want to let anything get in the way of him helping others as much as he can and achieving his dream of going to space, not even the idiosyncrasies of his own brain. And, heck, he’d probably find it interesting if only he had a reason to look into it in the first place! Many ADHDers hyperfixate on ADHD, and Kaito definitely seems like someone who would have if he’d known.

So, if Kaito was aware of his ADHD, he’d be able to recognise what he’s going through in early chapter 5 as RSD and handle it better. He’d know that, no matter how much it hurts, things aren’t actually quite as bad as it feels like, and that apologising to Shuichi sooner rather than later is almost certainly the best way forward even if the prospect of doing so seems terrifying as all hell. For that matter, if Kaito knew about his ADHD and what it really involved, he’d almost certainly have trained himself to be able to deal with a lot of his more troublesome symptoms better than he ever does in canon.

Friendship difficulties

Because of their differently-wired brains, ADHDers can often struggle to connect with the rest of the world that doesn’t think the same way as them. And here’s a fun subtle thing about Kaito that ought to get talked about more: he’s not actually very skilled or experienced at making friends. Having sidekicks that he can inspire and support, and being a general encouraging influence on a wider group of people to keep them working together – sure, that stuff comes naturally to him. But regular, everyday friendship? Not so much.

This isn’t that easy to spot, because most of the time we see Kaito, he’s deliberately focusing on motivating people, which he’s great at. But there are a few instances here and there where Kaito interacts with people in a not-specifically-motivational way: his attempts to befriend Kaede (who doesn’t need his support), his earlier FTEs with Shuichi (which should be happening before training starts), and the conversation with Shuichi and Maki in chapter 4’s second training scene (before Maki begins talking about her past).

In all of these, Kaito turns out to actually be a huge awkward goof who doesn’t seem to have the first clue how to do regular interpersonal interactions. And basically everything about him being this way can potentially be explained by ADHD.

Too many thoughts

It’s never quiet and organised in an ADHD brain; whenever we’re not hyperfocusing on one specific thing, our minds always have like five different thoughts rattling around in them at once. So, consider the conversation with Shuichi and Maki, which Kaito was attempting to treat like a Regular Conversation (rather than the chance to help Maki open up that it definitely actually was in his head). Perhaps, in his efforts to do small talk, not one but several different possible small talk questions popped into his head at once and clamoured for his attention, such that a couple of them – “what blood type are you?” and “what [something] do you like?” – got accidentally merged together when he opened his mouth to speak. That plus his impulsive lack-of-filter meant that out came “What blood type do you like?” and Kaito sounding like a doofus.

(When Maki points out that this is a strange question, Kaito awkwardly laughs it off. It almost seems like he’s used to accidentally saying things people consider weird during his attempts at normal conversation and has learned to try and act like it’s nothing so he doesn’t push anyone away.)

This disorganisation in ADHD minds also tends to make them get too caught up on unnecessary details they find interesting and wander off down random mental tangents rather than whatever they’re supposed to be talking or thinking about. I once saw a tumblr post that said ADHDers are likely to tell “stories that start sooner than they need to and end somewhere other than the point” – and this happens to be a literally perfect description of the story Kaito tells Shuichi in his second and third FTEs. He was supposed to be telling Shuichi how he became interested in space. He began by talking about finding a treasure map and conquering the seas, and he finished with how he was busy conquering the land when his summer vacation ended. At no point did he mention space; he’d got so wrapped up in the story itself that he’d completely forgotten that was meant to be the point.

Kaito also has a bit of a tendency to make strange statements that appear to make perfect sense to him even though they kind of don’t to anybody else. He wants to learn to play the piano for when he goes to space? Well, of course; he might meet an alien! You can’t ever know how malicious other people’s secrets are? Sure, but that’s why you just gotta believe in… yourself! These really do make perfect sense in Kaito’s head (the first is about communication; the second is about people-reading skills). But it seems, perhaps, that his overly-active mind made connections too fast and jumped several tracks at once, to the point that he didn’t realise he was skipping a few steps of his explanation and that it wouldn’t make so much sense to the people listening. Which is also a thing that ADHD people are liable to do.

Too loud and excitable

A less immediately obvious thing that’s strange about Kaito’s behaviour in the chapter 4 training chat is that, when Shuichi essentially just straight-up asks Maki to start talking about her issues, Kaito admonishes him for being too direct and claims he can’t just do that. This seems odd coming from Kaito, who’s usually nothing but direct in his approaches to encouraging people, and who definitely also intended to prompt Maki into talking about her issues here.

But, apparently because he’s trying to present this as a Regular Normal Friend Conversation, Kaito didn’t think he was meant to be so direct in this context. Which suggests he’s learned through experience that his usual kind of directness that works great for encouragement apparently just kind of puts people off when it’s used in a regular conversation. So instead, he was trying to work his way towards hopefully maybe getting Maki to open up through awkward small talk that he must know he’s terrible at – no wonder he was miffed when Shuichi casually went and committed the exact social “faux-pas” he’d been trying to avoid, with complete confidence that it’d actually be fine, and it turned out it was. (Whoops, there goes Shuichi effortlessly being better than him at everything Kaito finds difficult, like always.)

Nonetheless, Kaito probably has good reason to be worried about coming across as too direct (outside of sidekick contexts, where that’s just the best way to get through to someone and help). Because, when he’s not actively trying to avoid it, he does have a tendency to get a bit carried away with things and put people off as a result. Remember the time he asked Kaede for a hug? There’s absolutely no reason to assume this was romantic or sexual in nature, because it already makes more than enough sense to think that Kaito was just so excited at meeting someone so similar to him and thought she was Super Cool and just really wanted to be her friend!!! So he impulsively expressed that sentiment in a rather-too-forward way that he was too caught up in his excitement to realise was going to come across as rather inappropriate.

Not that being too overly excitable and direct about things necessarily has to lead to behaviour that’s outright inappropriate in order to cause problems. (Though please never forget that Kaito asked for the hug and respected Kaede’s boundaries when she said no.) Even if he’s not doing anything wrong, Kaito being his usual larger-than-life self all the time might just come across as a bit Much and be kind of weird and off-putting for a lot of people. It’s that emotional hyperarousal again, which I mostly talked about the negative side of in the earlier section – but the positive side of it, amplifying the good emotions to make someone more enthusiastic and passionate, can still (completely undeservedly) be a negative thing in a social context with others who just aren’t wired the same way.

In Kaito’s second FTE, wrapped up among his ridiculous overblown childish fiction, he appears to potentially be talking about an actual playmate he had at the time who joined in his game of pretending to be a sea captain. Then they had a fight and Kaito never saw him again – and he presents that like it was just part of his game, too, but this can likely be taken to mean that they had a falling out that never got resolved and stopped being friends. If so, I can’t help but assume that this was probably because tiny Kaito was a little bit too boisterous and excessive in his playing – while still not necessarily doing anything wrong – that it overwhelmed this other kid to the point that he didn’t really want to join in any more.

There’s also one bit of FTE invitation dialogue where Kaito claims he’s about to teach Kaede how to have peace of mind… and then he tells stories that make her question his definition of that. Which makes a lot of sense considering that ADHD minds, particularly hyperactive-type ones, are never relaxed for even a moment. Kaito doesn’t know how not to be energetic and over-the-top even when the people he’s with just want to wind down and relax, which also wouldn’t really do him any favours in terms of making friends.

But none of that is Kaito’s fault; he’s not trying to be selfish or drive these people away. It’s simply the way his mind is, always going full-throttle when most other people’s usually aren’t. He just gets so excited about so many things and has a hard time toning that down. Besides, why would Kaito even want to tone it down and be boringly down-to-earth when his mind could be up in space instead!? That’s much better! …except that most other people don’t see it that way.

Too much infodumping

In the training chat, after embarrassing himself with a bungled small talk question and being shown up by Shuichi making it look like it’s actually somehow not a problem to be too direct after all, Kaito attempts to bring things back around to small talk with the, uh, “safe” option of asking Maki what her favourite spaceship is. Which isn’t really small talk at all, of course – but then, actual small talk is hard for ADHD people, because it’s not interesting enough to care about paying proper attention to. They’d much rather be acting on that constant desire to talk about something they’re interested in, such as one of their hyperfixations, which is not always the best way to connect with others who don’t happen to be interested in the same thing.

(Fortunately, since another of his hyperfixations is Maki and her issues, Kaito is perfectly happy to listen once she starts talking about her past, and the conversation shifts back to a comfortable hero-and-sidekick situation again rather than an awkward and confusing how-do-I-friends???)

There’s another of those FTE invitation dialogues in chapter 1 where Kaito tells Kaede he’s a good listener… and then apparently Kaede spends the entire time listening to him instead. Except, obviously Kaito really is a good listener when it’s in his hero-and-sidekick context and he’s helping someone with their problems, because he’s invested in supporting them and so it’d be easy for him to pay attention. But perhaps, when it’s in a regular friendship context and the person he’s talking to doesn’t need his help (like Kaede doesn’t), Kaito’s not quite so good at listening because he’s not necessarily as interested in what they have to say. So he might be liable to just impulsively act on the desire to talk about the things he wants to (such as SPACE; there is always time for space) and then get so focused on it that he overlooks the other person’s feelings and genuinely doesn’t realise he’s coming across as kind of brash and self-absorbed.

Kaito’s second and third FTEs with Shuichi are an even better illustration of this. Upon Shuichi choosing to hang out with him for a second time, Kaito apparently realises Shuichi is interested enough in him to possibly want to be his friend. So he responds to this by… launching into a huge ridiculous story about his (completely make-believe) heroic adventures as a kid. This kind of one-sided conversation and bizarre topic choice is not, in fact, a great way to make friends with someone, but Kaito doesn’t seem to realise this. He finds his story so cool and exciting that he impulsively assumes Shuichi would too and jumps into it without actually confirming whether Shuichi wants to hear it or not. And, honestly, it seems like Shuichi doesn’t, at least not particularly, and is only listening out of politeness and an inability to get a word in edgeways. His less-than-enthusiastic response to Kaito’s story suggests that these FTEs are canonically meant to happen before training begins and Shuichi comes to properly consider Kaito a friend – and therefore that Kaito’s not really doing the best job here of making Shuichi begin to consider him a friend.

Still himself despite it all!

All of these potentially-ADHD-fuelled idiosyncrasies of Kaito’s make it a lot harder for him to make friends in the normal way – and he seems to be somewhat aware of this. Some of the things from the chapter 4 chat hint that he’s slightly insecure and afraid he’s going to put Shuichi and Maki off by being so dorkily himself. There’s also a little more of this in the Salmon Team bonus mode, in which friendship is the entire point, and yet a few lines when he’s inviting Shuichi to hang out hint that Kaito isn’t completely convinced that Shuichi would want to hang out with him as a friend rather than as a sidekick who needs his advice and support. If he was more used to having friends, he probably wouldn’t still be so insecure about this – so this honestly kind of suggests that Shuichi and Maki could be the first real friends Kaito’s ever managed to make.

Because of these kinds of issues in connecting with people, a lot of ADHD kids grow up unconsciously learning to suppress their true selves, hiding their boundless enthusiasm and unusual interests to seem more “normal” so that they can fit in. I know this because I was one such kid, and I’m still struggling to unlearn this as an adult. So I have huge admiration for Kaito having managed to not do this, refusing to let anything stop him from being himself at all times. His convictions about staying true to himself are even more impressive when you realise that he would have felt so pressured to break them and pretend to be someone he’s not in order to more easily make friends.

As strong-willed as Kaito is, I doubt he’d have been able to do this as a kid without help. His parents and grandparents must have been really, really good in validating his passion and energy and never making him feel ashamed for being the way he is, assuring him that if other kids can’t see how great he is then that’s their problem and not because he’s doing anything wrong. He wants to go to space more than anything else in the world? Awesome; he should chase that dream with everything he has and not care how ridiculous and childish and impossible everyone else seems to think it is! Not all parents would do that.

After all, there are a lot of occasions in which Kaito does just brazenly present his larger-than-life self to someone in a clumsily overbearing attempt to make friends, without showing even the subtlest sign of being worried it might put them off. For that matter, Kaito is generally very willing to just throw himself into things he’s unfamiliar with and possibly end up failing spectacularly and making a fool of himself – something that’s likely to be pretty painful for him, given how RSD is. While some of this is probably down to his impulsiveness and not even considering that he might fail, I’m sure sometimes he’s got to be aware of it, and if so, that’s some impressive resilience and determination. People with ADHD can become unconsciously inclined to never try at anything out of a fear of that painful failure, but of course Kaito would refuse to let that happen to him – which is really quite admirable.

Interestingly, all of the times Kaito is subtly insecure about his social skills – the chapter 4 scene, the Salmon Team bits, and maybe that time with the former friend in his FTE if you assume that him wrapping it up in a fiction means he’s still uncomfortable about what happened – involve someone he’s already friends with. After all, it’s probably easier for him to fearlessly dive in with someone new, because it’s less of a blow if he messes up in that context – not everyone’s going to click with him and that’s just how things go. But once Kaito’s already built a strong connection with someone, he becomes more afraid of messing up, because being rejected by someone important to him would be agonising. You might think that he ought to feel more comfortable around people he’s already friends with because he should trust them and know they’re not going anywhere no matter how much of a dork he is – but when RSD is a factor, it makes perfect sense for it to be the opposite.

Sidekicks can be friends, too!

Perhaps part of why Kaito is able to remain so confident in himself most of the time is because he nonetheless hasn’t grown up alone and lacking meaningful connections to other people. Despite his difficulty in making regular friends, he’s compensated for this by having sidekicks, which are a very different matter that his eccentricities conversely make him very good with. Being enthusiastic and energetic and over-the-top like Kaito can never not be is helpful when he’s being an inspiring hero, not weird or off-putting at all!

Still, while Kaito has a far easier time forging that initial connection with someone through the sidekick approach rather than the friend approach, that doesn’t make him worse at actually being someone’s friend (and not just their “hero”) once he’s got his foot in the door. If Kaito had told the story from his FTEs to Shuichi after they’d started training and properly bonded, Shuichi’s reaction would have been completely different: still probably exasperated, but in an affectionate kind of way, because he knows that’s just part of what makes Kaito who he is, and it’s actually pretty fun to be around. He has a lot of this sort of response to Kaito once they’re friends, and it’s adorable. It’s the same in the chapter 4 training chat – neither Maki nor Shuichi are at all put off by Kaito’s awkwardness, partly because they’re not exactly great at social skills themselves, but also because they know how much Kaito cares about them, and no amount of arbitrary social missteps could ever change that.

When someone becomes Kaito’s sidekick, meaning they’ve accepted his support and understand how much he wants to help them, they can see everything else about him that they might have found weird before in a new light. They learn that his eccentric behaviour isn’t him being deliberately rude or self-absorbed at all. It’s just genuinely how he is, and it’s part of how he can support them so well like he does, but that’s not all it’s good for. They come to appreciate Kaito not just for his incredible supportiveness, but for everything else about him, too. He’s not just their hero, but also their friend.

However… Kaito apparently can’t see that. Since he’s never been that good at forming regular friendships with people who don’t explicitly need him, he’s all too liable to assume that the people who do need him are only sticking around because of that, and no other reason. That co-dependency of Kaito’s I mentioned earlier, aka his rather unhealthy need to be needed? While the stressful context of the killing game definitely made it way worse throughout the story, it seems it was already slightly a thing in the first place – and if so, Kaito having ADHD could very well be the root cause.

Kaito is Good

Being realistic about how sadly uncommon well-represented neurodivergency is in fiction (and how misunderstood ADHD tends to be), I don’t know if I should try to assert that Kaito being ADHD was definitely the writers’ intent. However, almost every major facet of his character and personality fits with it so damn well that I want to think it’s at least possible that someone on the writing team could have had it in mind. Especially with the couple of bits I mentioned that seem like they could have been deliberately included by someone who Knows.

Still, even if it wasn’t intended, it’s amazing how good of a fit this is. Maybe it’s just that, in creating a character as intensely passionate as Kaito, the writers naturally wrote into him all the downsides of being that way as well, without even realising they were near-perfectly modelling the highs and lows of ADHD. After all, the human mind’s ability to simulate other human minds even when they’re not real is freaking magical. Kaito is such an incredibly well-written character with so much thought put into him whether or not he was meant to be as extremely ADHD-coded as he is.

I’ve always believed that Kaito is a fantastic example of how the best way to write realistic and interesting flaws into a character is to have them organically draw from traits that, in other situations, can be that character’s greatest strengths. And in my opinion, this is also kind of true about ADHD. When I figured out I had it and what it really meant, it was hugely validating for me, because I learned that almost everything I’d been struggling with was basically just the logically-inevitable downside of some of the things I’d always liked about myself, such as my ability to get so ridiculously analytical about stories I love like this. I wouldn’t trade those parts of myself away for anything – and I can’t imagine Kaito would, either.

I’ve seen a few posts and articles focusing on the bright side of having ADHD by listing some of the positive traits ADHDers often have because of it, and, delightfully, so many of them – fun to be around! compassionate! persistent! to name just a few – are things that Kaito has in spades. So, well, if ADHD can look so much like Kaito… then surely it can’t be all bad.

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(P.S.: High-five to anyone who headcanons Kaito as autistic! There’s a lot of overlap between that and ADHD. Many of the symptoms I’ve talked about here can also be symptoms of autism, and even with the non-overlapping bits, a lot of Kaito’s idiosyncrasies that I linked to ADHD could be interpreted slightly differently to link them to autism instead. I believe ADHD fits him somewhat better than autism does, but then I’m more knowledgeable about ADHD so my data is skewed, plus I’m pretty obviously biased since I’m personally invested in the idea of Kaito being like me. Taking a step back from my more specific headcanon here, though, there’s still every reason to assume that Kaito is at least some flavour of neurodivergent, and I think that’s pretty awesome.)

#danganronpa v3 #danganronpa v3 spoilers #kaito momota #character analysis #kaito's hero issues #ramble #adhd #adhd headcanons #creating that tag because i can already tell kaito won't be the only adhd headcanon i make #oh my god this ended up *longer* than the hero ramble how did this happen #and yes i will link to the hero ramble in every single other kaito ramble because it is always important #i also talked about myself in this more than i ever usually do on here so uh #personal?

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tothedarkdarkseas · 3 years

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It may be a strange question, unrelated to the topic of the blog, but how do you proofread your works? Your writing is another level I wish to achieve.

That's really kind of you to say and quite frankly feels undeserved. Thank you. Honestly, I've always felt a bit gunshy about giving any sort of writing advice, because I very much still see myself as learning and feel very critical of my early work. I also think it would be disingenuous to say I have a structure that works particularly well, considering how slowly I write compared to many others. If you're looking for tips on how to be more productive in writing and proofing your work on a schedule, I don't think I would be the best person to ask!

I've been told the more efficient approach is to write first and proofread later-- in projects like NaNoWriMo you'll definitely see the tip to get more words down than you'll end up keeping and edit it all later-- but I'd be lying if I said I ever stuck to that. I tend to write in small chunks at a time and edit as I go, and then go back over the entire WIP a few times throughout the process. I can't say it will work for you, but I tend to be a little happier with the wording and structure when I can focus on it by itself, and then adjust things like the pacing and comb out overused words in a longer read-through. I think it's important for any writer to read their work as a whole and compare two sections you may have written days, week, even months apart in order to make them fit together. It may not feel like it, but our tone can change over the course of writing and it's always worth a second (and third, and fourth) look at everything you've written prior to this newest addition. I don't read the entire story from beginning to end every time, but I do read what I'd consider the scenes surrounding it, and maybe another section that catches my eye and I feel could use cleaning up. It's also good to consult your outline, if you've got one, to be sure you're still adhering to the same points. Sometimes you won't be, and I think that's a good thing-- I never write with a strict outline of every single thought and action, just a general overview of "plot points," but I also think my personal style of writing is much more about those thoughts and actions than the plot. I don't think a story has ever turned out quite as I first imagined it, and in the moment it can feel like I failed to do what I set out to do, but... you'll simply never know what the "best" version of something is, but you do get closer to it when you edit. And edit, and edit again. I've always struggled with spending too much time editing but not actually removing enough to make the story feel concise. I'll set aside time to write but I'll linger on the most recent paragraphs I'd written, just tweaking the sentences and adding more thoughts to flesh out the character study aspect, but probably ending up with a story that is too clunky and weighed down in the navel-gazing stuff. This is the sort of thing that makes me feel foolish about giving advice, as I know a career writer would have surgical precision and not be too precious about cutting fat from every page; my stories tend to meander quite a lot, and this current WIP certainly has a glacial pace and no real forward momentum, it is just stewing and observing (and hopefully offering a bit of character work, but still, not novel material.) However, in an effort to be kinder to myself (and of course to you as well!) I just try to remember that writing is a hobby, and if I like spending time on details that I feel establish a certain setting and inner monologues from the character that I feel say something different, then we should allow ourselves to do that.

Er, I can't think of much more to say about proofreading! It's something I do quite a bit of, and while I know it gets tedious to read a story from beginning to end, I do think it's worth doing that at least twice before posting so that you'll know how your tone progressed and if anything feels too out of place. Examining "scenes" by themselves makes it easier to go over something a few times, and I think it's always worth going over something you've written some time ago to make little adjustments to match your pace now. It's also tremendously helpful to read your work out loud-- you'll be able to catch awkward sentences or wrong words that you may not notice when your eyes are speed-reading over the whole thing. If you have the ability to, I also recommend recording yourself reading a section or the entire work and listening back to it so that you can really, fully hear exactly how it sounds. Most reader won't be going through the whole experience of reading aloud or listening to the story, but I do think there's no better way to observe how something flows. (If you don't like to listen to yourself, you can also paste sections into a bot that will read aloud for you!)

I'm sure none of this advice is new, but I do hope it is useful to you in some way! And once again, thank you for the kind words, from the very bottom of my heart. I've been feeling a bit emotionally drained lately and although fandom isn't to blame for that, it does occasionally trip me up to feel... really on the outskirts of things. I've just felt like I'm having a rather isolated fandom experience lately-- and I don't say that to be ungrateful for the questions I am so incredibly lucky to get, but you know, ah, it's just easy to get in your head about how separated everything in this fandom feels. This is getting entirely off topic so I'll stop this train derailing, haha. Thank you so much, sincerely, for the credit you've given me, whether I feel it is earned or not! Good luck in your writing, and I believe in you!

#added a cut for length because i rambled a bit!#thank you so much #thank you for this

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entropy-game-dev · 4 years

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Project code anatomy

It’s been ages since I’ve done one of these discussion-focused posts, and I really only do them when I have something (relatively) interesting I’ve been thinking about! Well, that time has come, and today I’d like to talk about trade-offs between code quality and speed of development.

Limitless time? I wish! While I would love to keep this post short and say - hey, you know your project? Make every single bit of code watertight, modular, extensible, and well-documented! Unfortunately, we live in the real world where time is a very real and very limited resource. Budgeting your time (and therefore efforts) is a whole other blog which I’d love to write about at some point!

Classifying code

Anyway, the main point is, due to these constraints, some code will be better written and more bug-free than others! How can you determine where best to focus your efforts to ensure your project doesn’t fall over in a smoking heap when you realise key code has been incorrectly implemented? Well, the first step is to determine what your project looks like. I’ve done up a quick image of what I see in my mind’s eye:

I classify my code into one of 4 main groups. Here’s where the anatomy part of the blog title comes into play!

Universal code which is called/applicable throughout the entire codebase (the blood)

State managers which affect the main game flow for the player (the brain and spine)

Scene components which are manipulated/used throughout certain game states (The limbs)

Miscellanous, single-purpose helper objects/code (the hair, eyes, nails, fingers, toes, and importantly, belly button)

With this sort of analogy, one can perhaps start to see what parts of code are more important than others. It might hurt if you stub your toe, but that’s something that can be recovered from. So, here are my rules for how much effort I focus into each area.

Universal code

Starting with universal code, I feel this should be the most flexible type of code, as it will be used in a multitude of situations. The addition of easy to use and remember arguments to functions that can affect behaviour of these objects is essential - things like start and stop delays, depth, colour, speed, whether or not to follow an object, start/end animations, alignment, and so on.

This code should be lightweight, well-documented, and modular in order to add functionality to it as needed. I might spend about 25% of my development time here, because this code is fairly simple, although needs to be well-programmed. I would also argue this code should also be robust if you are working in a team, as other members may not know the quirks associated with the various functions, but working solo, I feel it is permissable to not program edge cases if they are documented and you keep these in mind when using them.

Of course, any universal code that deals directly with the player (e.g. textbox inputs, draggable windows, menus) MUST be 100% watertight, as there is no telling what the user will do, nor what their system specifications will be. All edge cases need to be accounted for because the player doesn’t know the quirks of your code, nor should they be expected to!

State managers

These are the main controllers of everything that happens within a general game phase, and control is passed from one manager to the next in a highly controlled and structured manner. This is core code - the game is highly dependent on the framework that you will be setting up here, and as such should be thoroughly developed, tested, and organised. As the state managers will be calling the bulk of the game’s code, it is imperative they are structured in a sensible and modular manner.

An example would be the overall battle manager object in my game. This determines the flow of the battle - things like what menu you’re choosing from, what the enemy is doing, whether attacks should be executed, recruiting, fleeing, and so on. About 40% of bugs in my code will stem from incorrect logic within these managers. Thus, a good portion of my time is spent here writing code that manages other code!

Scene components

Scene components are objects that are very active but in a limited context, and are otherwise ignored/removed when not needed. For example, field objects, which are interactive features found during exploration need to do two things - check if the player has interacted with them, and if so, execute the thing that they’re supposed to do (a ore vein will give out materials, a healing machine will ask for a fee, a trap will blow up).

As a result, scene components get enough attention that they do their jobs, but are not as rigorously programmed as the state managers unless they are complex objects (like players and enemies). These objects are often in a state of limbo during development - they are functional but often incomplete, as they are all interdependent within a particular state. I’ll probably spend about 30% of my development time here.

Thus there is usually a lot of placeholder code that I tend to go back and refactor at some point. It’s kind of like a road where you alternate between building it and driving down it one meter at a time, and then once you’re done you go over the whole thing with a road roller.

Miscellaneous

These are ultra-specialised bits of code/objects that do one thing and do it well. More often than not I use these when an object is getting too complex, and I need to separate unrelated bits of code from one another. I’ll admit it, most of this code is programmed hastily and poorly. Once I check that it does what I want it to do without any bugs, it’s left alone and I move on to other things. I tend not to revise or refactor this code at all, and I try to mitigate the large amount of single-use scripts and objects by having a nice folder structure so the code can be tucked away and I don’t have to wade through it looking for other bits of code. I estimate a very modest 5% of development time is spent on these functions.

Summing up

So, there you go, this is the unspoken thought processes that are going on while I program. I’ve never actually formally written any of this out until today, so my apologies if it doesn’t totally make sense or match your own experiences!

Oh, and while I’ve broken my code down in this way, it’s not like I say, ok, today I’ll work on all the state managers. Game development is a much more organic process than that, and generally I write whatever I need at the moment, which will be code from all 4 categories that are all related to each other in whatever I’m developing at the moment.

Nevertheless when I’m writing/developing, I keep in mind what sort of code this is going to be, and where it fits into the big picture of the project. This way I try my best to monitor and manage my time. The last thing I want is for the the game to be stuck in a permanent state of development, undergoing endless changes and iterations! In fact, it’s quite the opposite - I want to finish the game so you guys can all play and (hopefully) enjoy it!!

#game #videogame #devblog #gamedev #scifi #spacegame #dungeon crawler #rpg #entropy #gamemaker #programming #pixel art #robot #indiedev

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taehyung-rambles · 3 years

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My Top 3 BTS Members from Each Era: Who Owned Each Era (Up to Permission to Dance)

Disclaimer: My Taehyung bias runs deep, so y’all may get mad at some of my choices--especially with the more recent stuff--unless you are fellow Taehyung trash. In which case, let’s talk.

Disclaimer #2: I’m not into any type of hip hop outside of BTS, so the rap verses usually have to stick out a lot for me to think it’s one of the best elements of the song. Though, I adore the rap line in BTS very much.

Disclaimer #3: Do not take a shot every time I say vocal tone/color because you will die.

So, I just made a BTS blog, and I wanted to start it off by talking about this. I realized while I was making this list that I tend to gravitate toward specific vocals and rap verses (from the maknae line and Yoongi, namely), so I’m sorry in advance if you don’t see your favorite person mentioned beneath a specific era, but these are just my opinions on who grabs my attention the most in each era; in other words, I’m not only ranking these based on who were the central members for that song, but also who jumped out the most to me. I mostly talk about these in terms of the vocal takes first and the total performance second with little consideration for how the music video was structured, though I may mention when a member’s concept is especially good for that era. K-pop does have a lot to do with total performance (vocal, choreo, wardrobe, etc.), but as I consume BTS’s music on its own more than I do their live performances, it was important to me to focus on the vocal before focusing on who killed the choreo.

As such, you might see rankings in here that you don’t agree with because I thought a member may have dominated the MV but didn’t stick out to me as much vocally. This post is going to be very biased, though I did rank all of these with my honest interests in mind, so it’s biased for a reason. At the end of the day, BTS wouldn’t be BTS without all seven members, so even if I didn’t rank a certain member enough times in your opinion, I still love them so much and the music they produce. There is no “worst” member in each era. They’re all amazing all the time. So, just keep that in mind, and share your opinions with me in the replies!

P.S.: I tried to grab all the major MVs for the BTS singles that weren’t animated. Hopefully I didn’t forget anything, but there should be a mention of every MV that BTS specifically shot for that song and maybe a couple extras. I think the only exception is probably Make It Right since that MV was just a stage mix, but since there were multiple versions of it, I counted it in here. Same with EPILOGUE: Young Forever since it was almost entirely a compilation of old footage, but since it felt like a major MV, I included it. Also, I didn’t do various MV versions, obviously, since I’m focusing on the vocal before anything else.

P.S. #2: Sorry if these are out of order in some way; I tried to do them by when the MV was released. Also, sorry that some of the group photos don’t include everyone. The format I was using for the edits didn’t leave space to show all the members if the members were spread out.

Alright, so if I was being totally objective here and were to say who the top three members were based on the song structure and MV, it’d probably be Namjoon, Jungkook, and Jimin. However, being opinionated got me to these three.

Taehyung: If you’re thinking, “How can Taehyung be in the top 3 when he had no lines,” don’t worry. I was just as surprised as you are to have Taehyung in my top 3. I think it’s just that Taehyung’s (one) line was so heavy and had so much texture to it that it felt like bigger part than it was. I mean, I think it also has to do with me not knowing who my number 3 would be for this song, and I decided that I would go with who’s vocal color fit this song the best, and that was Taehyung.

Yoongi: I mean, how could Yoongi not make the list? His first rap verse is iconic, and his second slaps. His voice has so much presence in this song that I can’t listen to it without looking forward to Yoongi’s part primarily. Also, you know those yips Yoongi does when he raps? That’s my favorite thing in the world, and No More Dream had a good amount of them.

Jungkook: We’re all aware that rapper Jungkook was an icon, and this song makes no exception to that rule. His verse is fire. Like Yoongi, Jungkook’s voice had a lot of character, as well. Legit, “see me, see me, yeah” gets stuck in head on a loop more often than is probably necessary. Ergo, Jungkook killed this era.

Full disclosure: I don’t really like this song. I did my best, though, to figure out which members interested me the most despite the fact that I don’t listen this song regularly like I do with most of the others. I would assume that the majority of people would probably list Namjoon and Jungkook along with Jimin in their top 3, but hey.

Taehyung: This is probably another confusing placement for Taehyung, but the pre-chorus he sang fit his voice nicely, or at least, his voice as it sounded back then. I don’t really think anyone stood out vocally in this song besides Jimin, but Taehyung put a little umph in his vocal, so it was nice since the pre-chorus is the catchiest part of this song for me.

Yoongi: Yoongi had the most interesting rap verse in this song, in my opinion. Like I said, I’m still not crazy about this song, but I thought Yoongi’s delivery of his verse was pretty engaging to listen to.

Jimin: Jimin almost feels like the only person in this song because his vocal sticks out so much. Not that I think the other members sound bad, because I think they all kill every song they do; it’s just the way this song sounds fit really well with Jimin’s vocal tone. Jimin ended up owned this era for me because he was so central to the sound this song was trying to produce.

I’m actually not sure what people’s top 3 would be for this song if we were talking about the majority of people. I’d guess probably Jungkook, Suga, and Namjoon? This song came down to the rap verses a lot more than I thought it would, but I guess that’s because a lot of BTS’s pre-2016 upbeat singles had diversity in the rap line while the vocalists had repetitive hooks and choruses.

Taehyung: I told y’all my bias was strong. I’m not putting Taehyung down for the sake of putting Taehyung down, though. I’ll be honest: besides the people in my top 3, I thought everyone did equally well with this song. Taehyung’s vocal stuck out just a little bit more for me than the other vocalists’. Just a bit. When Taehyung flips into his falsetto, it’s always really interesting to listen to. This is the first of many songs where, since the vocalists’ parts are repetitive and they all share the same parts, it really comes down to personal preference for vocal color; I just happen to like Taehyung’s.

Jungkook: I know Jungkook sings in this song, but his rap verse was lit as fuck. I don’t know how to talk about it in a way that makes sense, but listening to it is satisfying, you know? It’s an absolutely kickass way to open the song after the intro. I do think the parts where Jungkook sang fit his vocal tone particularly well. It’s not always the case with BTS songs that every member has a part that is made for their vocal tone--that’d be impossible to do--but they always sound good regardless. Sometimes, though, you get a piece of a song that fits the person singing it so well that it can’t be any other way, and that’s how I felt about Jungkook in this song.

Yoongi: As much as I love Jungkook’s rap verse, Yoongi murdered this song. Every time I listen to this song, my attention is snatched by Yoongi, full stop. I could be listening to this in the background, spacing out any type of detail from the song, but when Yoongi spits fire, I pay attention. I will say this again about other members in other eras, but Yoongi’s verse makes this song, which is why he owns this era.

This song has staying power, y’all. The rest of BTS’s older music sounds really nostalgic, but Boy in Luv just sounds like the kickass song that it is. I think most people’s rating of this era would be fairly similar to mine except for Yoongi. I imagine most people would gravitate toward Jin or Jimin. Honestly, picking the second and third members was really difficult because this song gave everyone parts that were perfect for them.

Yoongi: I don’t know if I should apologize for being so linear in my choices, but Yoongi is badass in this song. His rap verse said “listen boy,” and I’m still not over it. I usually don’t vibe with every rap verse like I did in this song, but even though all the rap verses were interesting, I landed on Yoongi because he caught my attention a bit more.

Jungkook: I think one of my favorite things ever in any BTS song is Jungkook’s rap verse in Boy In Luv. The percussiveness of it and the staccato way he delivers it are just so interesting to listen to. It’s also a really fun rap verse, but it’s dynamic, too. I want to acknowledge that if Jungkook had just been on the chorus, I would probably have stuck Jimin in my top 3 because his vocals have just a touch more texture in them during the chorus, but Jungkook also killed the chorus and the rap, so Jungkook it is.

Taehyung: I mean. From what I’ve seen of other people’s opinions of Boy In Luv, most of them agree that Taehyung had hella presence in this song. The distortion he puts on his voice, the growling, the parts of the song he ended up singing--it all contributed to him owning this era because it’s one of those moments where he fit the concept so well. Every member has a song or two like this under their belts where they embody the song, and this is one of Taehyung’s.

This is another song that I don’t really like, so don’t @ me for my opinions about this one. I did my best, fam. I think nearly everyone thinks Jungkook owned this era, and I imagine they would also include Jin and Jimin.

Taehyung: Not to be rude to the other members--including Taehyung--but since I didn’t find this song all that interesting, it made it hard to pick the second and third members. I don’t really think anybody but Jungkook stuck out. Taehyung’s verse was melodic and nice, though. Even though the “party party” part was dumb. Since, again, it’s a repetitive song, it came down to who’s vocal tone I liked the best. Taehyung’s vocal color is the most unique vocal color I’ve heard from any male artist, so slot number 3 he goes.

Yoongi: Again, this was mostly about whose rap verse I preferred because I’d already made my decisions about the vocalists. This isn’t a song where the rap verses stuck out at all for me, but Yoongi’s was percussive, so it was an interesting addition to the flow of the song.

Jungkook: I mean, this is a Jungkook song, you know? There are Namjoon songs and Hobi songs and Jin songs, and this one was Jungkook song. I don’t think he did anything spectacular with his vocals--which isn’t about him as a vocalist; it’s about the song itself not being dynamic enough to allow him to show off his vocals--but the way he used his voice in this song fit the tone of the song exactly. Taehyung usually has the monopoly on really gentle vocals for me, but Jungkook did really well with it in this song.

This one may get me some flack. Listen, there are parts of this song that I don’t really like--I will not say which parts--but most of it is fire as fuck, and I listen to this all the time. I know most people love Jungkook, Jimin, and Jin in this song. I get that. If I was being objective, I would agree with you. However, that’s the joy of opinions.

Jungkook: I know I said I’m not considering the choreo/MV as much, but Jungkook’s shoulders are loud, you know? Anyway, Jungkook fit this song really well. Actually, I think this is another song that everyone got a part that was meant for them. Jungkook did sound fire on the chorus, no doubt about it, but his rap verse was really dynamic, and Jungkook performed it really well. I have nothing bad to say about Jungkook in this song because it wouldn’t sound as good without his vocal tone.

Jimin: Look, I love Jimin’s sweet vocal tone that he’s used for most of BTS’s career; I even prefer it over his old vocal tone. However, sometimes you hear a song with Jimin’s deeper vocal tone where he puts distortion on his voice, and it slaps you in the face. This is one of those times. I mean, the part they gave him was perfect for what he was doing with his voice at this time. I think, in terms of uniqueness, Jimin would win every time in a debate about the Danger era’s top 3 members.

Taehyung: I barely ever see Taehyung mentioned when it comes to Danger, so this is probably an unpopular opinion, but his parts in Danger make the song. I’m not talking about the chorus--though I’m happy he actually sang in a good chunk of this song since he hadn’t been previously. In fact, I’m pretty sure Jungkook’s vocals were mixed louder than Taehyung’s vocals on the second half of the chorus--which was Taehyung’s part--during the production process. You can hear Taehyung, but Jungkook also sounds really clear on top of Taehyung’s voice. Anyway, what I’m talking about is the hook of the song. The money piece. This has happened more than once with Taehyung, and he always kills it. I vibe with the chorus, but the hook sticks in my head more than anything. So, for me, Taehyung owns this era.

I don’t understand what it is about this song that makes it so good, but it’s a bop. I still think, if I was thinking objectively, that my ranking would close to the same. Some people might choose Hobi over Namjoon or something like that, but ya know.

Jungkook: He’s so cute in this song, isn’t he? I know he’s supposed to come off as a bad boy, but he’s adorable. His parts in this song are really good though, and not just his rap verse. He’s used opposite Taehyung in this song, which was a really good choice. Jimin and Taehyung have the most opposite vocal tones in BTS, so they’re often played off of one another, but sometimes Jungkook’s vocals contrast really beautifully with Taehyung’s. Going from Taehyung’s richness to Jungkook’s clean and smooth vocals is really nice, so I appreciate Jungkook a lot in this song.

Namjoon: The way Namjoon opens this song is rad. It’s so distinct, and it’s the exact right tone to set the song off properly. It’s so damn catchy. Everyone in the rap line has really animated styles of rapping, but Namjoon is usually the most animated, and it really lent itself nicely to War of Hormone. Having him open this song was the best choice ever.

Taehyung: This is a Taehyung song, 1,000%. It was obviously supposed to be a Taehyung song, probably because of his vocal tone, though I’m sure his visual had a lot to do with it, too. Something happened to Taehyung with this single. It was like, all of a sudden, he found his charisma, and he’s been killing us all ever since. I don’t mean this in a negative way for the other members, but all the umph in this song comes from Taehyung. I think that’s how it should be because, if everyone had a vocal that sounded like Taehyung’s, it’d be too much--that’s why I like the way Jungkook’s voice compliments Taehyung’s. The parts of this song Taehyung had embellished the song perfectly, and it did wonders to show off Taehyung’s talent. The tone of this song just works with Taehyung at the center. Growling, attitude, stage presence, and all; Taehyung definitely owned the War of Hormone era.

I’ve got to say, BTS songs like this are catchy, but not something I pay attention to when I listen to them. I Need U, RUN, and Save ME are all like that. On top of that, they’re all pretty repetitive songs, and it’s hard to find each member individually in them--at least for me--so choosing the top 3 was difficult. I know a lot of people agree that Jimin owned this era, same with Yoongi. I imagine the third one, if I wasn’t being too opinionated about it, would probably be Jungkook.

Taehyung: So, Taehyung doesn’t have a lot going on in this song unless you consider the MV--which I’m trying not to do too much. I think, for this song though, the MV did come into play a bit more since it was basically a short film. Still, if I was only talking about the MV, Taehyung would be number 1. However, vocally, there wasn’t a whole heck of a lot to go on. The reason he made my list, though, is that his vocals still stuck out to me despite the amount of lines he had. Taehyung’s got soul; we all know this. Any time he sings in this song, my mind goes, “Oh?” because, even though it doesn’t happen a lot, it lends a lot to the tone of the song.

Yoongi: For someone who doesn’t really love this song, I have to say that Yoongi’s part is really the only part that hits me. His vocal color and the way he decided to use his voice for his verse was gorgeous. It’s one of those vocal takes where the vocal jumps out above the mix, and it almost doesn’t matter what’s happening with the instrumental because the vocal is so nice. Again, this is something that happens with all the members, and I try to acknowledge them when I think it’s happened. So, here’s to Yoongi for killing it.

Jimin: When I think of I Need U, the only thing I think about is Jimin. I know you’ve got Jungkook on the chorus, as well, but Jimin’s vocal tone is the thing that sticks in my head. It’s so perfectly matched with the song and the production that it’s easier to find Jimin in this song than it is to find really stark evidence of the other members--again, that’s more to do with the song than with the members. This song just happened to fit Jimin’s voice in a special way, which is why he owned the era.

So, I’m gonna do the Japanese singles, too, because they have MVs and all that. However, fair warning, these singles usually end up coming down to whose vocal tone I prefer since they’re usually softer songs that lean more on the vocalists than the rappers. Jungkook is the center of MV, so I think he’d be most people’s number 1. After that, I’d think people would choose Jin and Yoongi, but that’s just a guess.

Jin: For You basically has Jungkook, Jin, and Taehyung each sing the chorus, so that’s why it comes down to vocal tone, especially since I think the vocalists stuck out more than the rappers in this song. I loved Jin’s light tone on the chorus of For You. His falsettos can sound different in different songs, but in For You, it was so delicate, and I loved it a lot. Jin usually fits really well in softer songs that still have a bit of pop to them, so he did well in this song.

Jungkook: I know this was probably meant to be a Jungkook song, so don’t @ me. It’s a song that’s set up for a very Jungkook vocal, if that makes sense. As in, it was made for Jungkook. He has a really nice, clean, smooth tone to his vocal in For You, and it’s pleasant to listen to. I think he went a bit softer with his vocal takes in this song to fit the tone, so it took some of the natural character out of his voice, but it was perfect for the tone of the song. Jungkook’s voice blended really nicely into the mix, so I like hearing him in For You a lot.

Taehyung: I don’t know if people out there prefer cleaner vocals in a song like this, but I really loved how Taehyung’s vocal sounded like it was changing the tone of the song. I do think that Jungkook and Jin’s vocals are probably best for the majority of the song, but the diversity that comes out of giving Taehyung a chorus is awesome. It saves the song from being flat. Taehyung’s deep vocal tone always sounds gorgeous, especially in softer songs, but he didn’t decide to use a gentle voice in this song like Jin and Jungkook did; his voice was a lot fuller and more forward, and I liked what it did in For You quite a bit.

This is the beginning of the “beat fetish” era of music--i.e., songs that are heavily dependent on the drop, which becomes almost a chorus on its own. Dope is a beat fetish song, and BTS has a few of them; thankfully, when BTS makes songs that are dependent on the instrumental to add character, it always sounds bomb. I know most people agree that Jungkook and Jimin kill in this era, so objectively, I think I’m on the same track, but I think I differ when it comes to Yoongi because I imagine most people would prefer Namjoon.

Yoongi: I just love his sections of this song. That’s it. I don’t really have a reason for liking his rap verses more than Hobi’s or Namjoon’s; I just find myself vibing more to Yoongi’s. I mean, Yoongi’s verse has a lot more bass to it than the other verses, and for a song that depends on the beat, it was nice to get some instrumentality out of Yoongi’s voice on top of the music itself. Plus, he’s got the “enemy enemy enemy; energy energy energy” part, which I freakin’ love.

Jimin: Jimin really sticks out in this song. There are very few BTS songs where it feels like Jimin has a lot of time in the spotlight as a support for Jungkook, but it did feel like that in Dope, and it was kind of cool. I don’t know that Dope needs a bunch of different vocal tones to make it work, and Jimin and Jungkook can sound very similar in songs of this genre. It worked really well to switch between Jungkook and Jimin with just a slight difference in vocal color coming through. That little bit of variation was interesting, and Jimin’s specific vocal tone shone nicely.

Jungkook: If ever there were a Jungkook song, my friends, this is it. It’s similar to Jimin in We Are Bulletproof Pt.2--that is to say, it’s almost like Jungkook is the only one in this song. Obviously, that isn’t true, and the other members stick out more in this song than in We Are Bulletproof Pt.2, but Jungkook is so clearly the face of this song. His voice is exactly what this song needs because the beat is so intense and Jungkook’s vocals are clean but with just enough grit added to complement the instrumental. Jungkook made this era his bitch, y’all.

As I’ve said, this is one of those background songs for me, and it really comes down to whose vocal tone I personally prefer. It’s not even about whose vocal tone blends in the best; it’s just about what sounds interesting to me. I think, objectively, the top three of this era would be Jungkook, Jimin, and maybe Namjoon. This is another one where, for everyone, the MV did touch my opinions on the rankings a bit. But I actually think the coolest parts of the MV align with what I have ranked already--except for the fact that Yoongi isn’t on my list despite having an amazing scene in the MV--so it worked out.

Taehyung: Taehyung’s voice just kills in songs like this. I know I keep harping on his vocal tone--and that’s not stopping any time soon--but his voice adds emotion to this song. It’s not a gentle vocal exactly, but it’s breathy; because his voice is also deep, it combined nicely to push the song into the chorus and then kick off the bridge. Actually, I adore Taehyung’s voice in the bridge because he puts a lot of character into it with his vibrato and the bends in his voice.

Jungkook: Like Jimin in I Need U, Jungkook permeates this song. The vocals for RUN scream Jungkook, to me, because he’s consistently lending his smooth vocal tone to the entire song. It’s a song that needs consistency since it’s quite repetitive. Again, it’s hard to find individuality with this song, though not as hard as it is with I Need U; rather than individuality, you have Jungkook’s clear vocal consistency that provides a nice foundation for the song to sit on, and that’s what makes it work.

J-Hope: Hobi’s verse in RUN was something else. Melodically, I think it was the most interesting part of this song. It sounds so different when compared to the rest of the RUN; I mean, it still sounds like part of the song, but it almost sounds like they wrote his verse for something else and put it in this song instead, and doing that made the sickest section of RUN come to life. I absolutely love Hobi in this song; I vibe so hard. I’m giving the era to J-Hope.

Is this, like, a weird song to include on this list as an era? They filmed stuff specifically for this MV, right? That’s why I’m here. Whatever, we’re gonna talk about it. I don’t love this song, if I’m honest, but I wanted to be thorough, so I’ve got some opinions. I think, objectively, Taehyung would still be on the list, and probably Jin, too. I’m sure other people may choose Jimin or Jungkook, but it’s a short song, so who knows?

Jin: Jin’s vocal tone has so much texture to it in this song. He uses, like, intentional vocal cracks to add character into the vocal, and it really works. Vocal cracks can add a lot of emotion to a vocal take if they’re used correctly, and Jin is a master at it. Again, there isn’t much to say since this is a short song, but Jin sang beautifully.

J-Hope: So good, his rap verse is. He has the same melody as Yoongi in the beginning of his verse--and both of them sound great--but then Hobi’s melody changes and, all of a sudden, the music stops and Hobi continues rapping, and it’s so impactful. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a moment that gets your heart beating a little bit faster. I don’t love much of this song, but the end of Hobi’s verse is really special.

Taehyung: This is one of the few songs from before 2018 where Taehyung’s voice shoots through the entire song. He just has the “forever, we are young” lyric, but it’s sung so often, and it’s basically the center of the song. That notion is going to come up again in a minute, but anyway. Plus, Taehyung’s vocal color works well with the grandiose tone of this track. So, Taehyung owned the era for me since I feel like his vocal was central to the song’s overall sound.

We’re here with another repetitive, beat fetish song, but y’all, this is one of the most iconic songs of all time. Most, if not all, people say Yoongi owned this era. Then people would probably choose Jin and Jungkook. As this song is so repetitive for the vocalists--like, legit, three out of the four of them basically had one melody to sing over and over--I think it really comes down to which parts they gave the members and which parts I personally thought were more important to the song’s iconic reputation.

Jimin: No joke--even though this sounds like a joke--Jimin’s “la la la la la” part is one of the things that makes this song amazing. He killed it because he switched out the sweetness in his voice for something with a little more bass, and it came out perfectly. Don’t get me wrong; Jungkook’s “eh eh oh eh oh” is iconic, too; I just thought Jimin’s build into the chorus was so badass that I couldn’t leave him off the top 3 list.

Taehyung: Look, if Yoongi’s verse was different, Taehyung would number 1 in the FIRE era. I know he sings the same line over and over, but it’s the hook. It’s literally the part of the song that even people who don’t know K-pop is a thing know. I know this because I heard Taehyung’s part in this song everywhere when it came out, and I didn’t even know it was a BTS song. If you’re not counting the first line of the song, I really think Taehyung has the most iconic and memorable part in FIRE. Plus, the way he delivers it is absolutely perfect, and it’s legit all the song is for the last minute. No shade to the other members because they all have things that only they can do, but no one could pull of Taehyung’s line like Taehyung did. It’s such an important piece to this song, so I feel like Taehyung has to rank in the top 3.

Yoongi: After saying all that, even I can’t deny that this was Yoongi’s era to shine. As iconic as his opening line was, if that was all he had in this song, Yoongi wouldn’t have been able to own FIRE. It’s his rap verse that sticks out. He growls in his verse, did you know that? Holy shit, it sounds so cool. The entire verse a full ass mood, and I love it to bits. It’s got to be one of my favorite Yoongi verses in a BTS song. He was in his element in this era. Absolute legend.

This is another song that really comes down to how much I love the vocal takes since it’s really repetitive. I didn’t vibe with rap verses in this song, but that could just be because I don’t vibe with this song in general. Objectively, this is Jungkook, Jimin, and either Taehyung or Jin’s era. The reason I didn’t include Jimin isn’t because I don’t like his vocal tone in this song; I just went with the vocal characteristics that jumped out to me.

Jin: I’ve said this already, but Jin’s vocal texture is really nice in songs like this. I feel like, if I try and describe his voice, people are going to take it the wrong way, but his vocals are a bit more nasal and thin than the other members’, and it allowed him to sound really unique in Save ME. It added a lot of flavor to the song.

Jungkook: I know Jungkook is usually listed as number 1 for this era, and I don’t think that’s wrong. This is another song where Jungkook’s voice blends. It’s like the song was made for him, which is probably why he seems to permeate the whole song. The clear quality of his voice is really nice for Save ME.

Taehyung: My bias has decided that Taehyung’s vocal color is gorgeous in this song. No, honestly, even if I’m being objective, there’s still something to be said for how Taehyung contributes to Save ME. This is song that needs a little bit of soul, you know? And Taehyung’s falsetto is bit raspy in Save ME, which I think lends a lot to the emotion this song is trying to convey. Who owned this era will probably have very different answers depending on who you talk to; for me, though, it goes to Taehyung.

Objectively, Hobi and Jimin are always going to top this era, and I think most people would add Jin into the list. This is one of those songs where I disagree with the popular opinion just a bit--though there will be songs later where I almost entirely disagree with the popular opinion. Keep in mind, I’m focusing on vocal first and performance second. So, yes, if I’m talking about the MV, Jin absolutely sticks out. It’s just that my interests were drawn to other members vocally.

J-Hope: It really came down to the hook of the song, for me. I like Yoongi’s rap verse a little bit better, but Hobi is so freaking iconic on the hook of this song. That’s not to say that his rap verse was bad, though, because the rhythm it has is addicting. It’s a really good, intense vocal take that leads into the sharp decline of the chorus since the chorus is softer in the first half. The hook is where it’s at, though. Honestly, what a legendary part of this song Hobi has. And his voice pulls it off like no one else could--though Jungkook does do a wonderful job, too.

Taehyung: His voice just sounds so interesting in this song. I know some people may prefer Jungkook on the chorus because his voice is clearer while Taehyung’s is more delicate, but that’s why I like it so much. It sounds fragile, and Jimin and Jungkook chose a really forward sound for the chorus, so Taehyung stuck out a lot to me. At the end of the vocal run in the chorus, too, he puts a bit of static into his vocal to come down into his chest voice from his falsetto, and it sounds stunning.

Jimin: This is a Jimin song through and through. I love the diversity you get with Taehyung’s voice, but I also think Jimin’s sweet vocal color is a necessity for this song to sound amazing. Of course, Jimin sticks out in the MV, as well, but his vocals really made Blood Sweat & Tears special. Jimin also alternates between breathiness and full voice in a really masterful way, and it gives a lot of character to his vocal takes. Jimin owns this era, hands down.

This song deserves a Grammy, for real. I’m gonna make a post about that later, so I won’t get into it now, but damn, this song is phenomenal. I’m gonna get flack for my choices on this one, and I’ve accepted it. It’s such a gorgeous song that it’s hard to pick who stuck out, even if I’m being opinionated. Objectively, Jin, Jimin, and maybe Jungkook would probably be in the top 3, but there’s character in everybody’s voice in Spring Day.

Jin: Jin has this uncanny ability to sound ethereal when he sings, and it really showed in Spring Day. Jin was the perfect person to use to end this song; the uniqueness in his voice was a really impactful way to bookend Spring Day because it made it feel like a journey that had just ended. So much story was told through Jin’s voice in this song.

Namjoon: Namjoon sounds so fucking beautiful in Spring Day. If Jin was the perfect member to close out this song, Namjoon was the perfect one to begin it. He sounds gorgeous. I’m not gonna be over it for a long time, my friends. He should sing more, honestly; Namjoon’s voice is so smooth and relaxing. I adore him in Spring Day like nobody’s business.

Taehyung: I don’t know if this an unpopular opinion? So, Taehyung sounds phenomenal when he has to go up into the higher part of his range--which is a lot since most of the BTS songs are made for tenors, and he’s the only baritone. His vocal color is remarkably consistent, in a way that I haven’t heard with any other artist, all the way up his range, and it allows him to maintain the soulfulness in his voice regardless of what register he’s in. The way that manifested in Spring Day resulted in some of the most beautiful vocal takes I’ve ever heard. The vocal cracks, Taehyung’s deep tone, the breathiness snapping into heavy chest voice; it’s all so beautiful. His vocal at the beginning of the bridge is honestly one of my favorite vocal takes from any BTS song. I love it. This song is already emotional, but the way Taehyung’s vocals hit me in Spring Day is why I think he owned this era.

Most people agree that the rap line killed this song, right? That’s probably the top 3 for most fans. I don’t know if I’m gonna convey this properly, but this song is borderline dirty hip hop, right? It’s got really grungy beats, raps, and vocals, so that’s why I say that. The only other song like that in BTS’s discography--that’s a single, obviously, because there’s a good chunk of dirty hip hop B-side tracks--is MIC Drop. This is a preface for what I’m about to talk about, so bear with me.

Namjoon: I had a hard time picking between Namjoon and Hobi for my number 3, but both of Namjoon’s verses were animated in really contrasting ways, and that interested me a lot. The first one was brighter, and the second one had a lot more bass to it. I don’t know if this is the right way to explain it, but Namjoon’s pronunciation in his second verse was so satisfying. It isn’t exactly percussive, but it’s something close--like onomatopoeia--and I enjoy listening to it a lot.

Taehyung: Okay, I’m going to die on this hill--and I’ll bring it up again later--but when it comes to dirty hip hop, if you’re gonna have a vocal on it, Taehyung is always gonna sound bomb. This song isn’t quite the best representation of that because Taehyung doesn’t have that many parts, but you still get the idea. The natural bass in his voice plus the growl and distortion he uses in songs like this stands out in a big way. It’s the perfect accompaniment to a rap-heavy song like Not Today, which is a big compliment considering the vocals in songs like this aren’t usually meant to stand out as much as the rap verses are.

Yoongi: I don’t think I need to explain, but I will anyway. You get the intro with Namjoon, and then you come straight into Yoongi’s verse, and it’s such a satisfying way to start this track. Yoongi’s verse is definitely percussive and it works with the instrumental underneath so well. It’s somehow calm and exciting to listen to, and it gets you really hyped up right away. Yoongi does great things with his voice, too, because it sits really low before snapping up and then going back down; it’s so dynamic. What an icon, honestly. Yoongi kills the Not Today era.

What a pretty MV, you know? Not to throw shade, but whoever said Jungkook and Taehyung should have weird green accents in their hair was wack--even if it was the two of them that said it. Of course, I mean that in the best way possible because they look awesome; everyone looks fine as hell in the DNA MV. Anyway, so I think my top 3 is pretty common besides the fact that I don’t have Hobi. I know this is the “J-Hooooooooooooope” era, and I apologize. If I was just considering the MV and the choreo, Hobi would be number 1. Just know I freakin’ stan Hobi in DNA, okay?

Yoongi: Yoongi’s verse in this song has always stuck out to me a lot. It’s got a lot of pop to it, you know? Plus, after his first little verse, he sings opposite Jungkook, and it’s one of my favorite parts of DNA. Between the sweet vocals of Jimin and Jungkook that dominate the last half of the song and Namjoon’s verse that had a lot of bass, it was nice to have Yoongi pull the two halves of the song together with lower vocal that still sounded bright.

Jungkook: Y’all, Jungkook was absolute perfection in this song. I don’t know what it is, but the parts Jungkook had were tailor made for him. I’d say this is one of the few BTS songs post-2015 where Jungkook’s voice has a sweeter tone to it than Jimin’s, and it really works. It absolutely supports DNA the entire way through. Even though Jungkook’s voice blends into the mix seamlessly, he doesn’t get lost in it, and that’s why he stood out to me.

Taehyung: You would be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t think this was Taehyung’s era. Obviously, some people don’t think that, but so many people agree that Taehyung is the face of DNA, and that’s so funny to me because he almost disappears after the beginning of the song. He’s got the intro, the first pre-chorus with Jungkook, and a couple lines in the bridge, but that’s it, and somehow most people ardently agree that Taehyung owns this era. Obviously, I am one of them. I mean, he barely ever gets to use his voice like he does in DNA; the depth is extraordinary. It sounds absolutely stunning. It’s 100% the key vocal in DNA, and it makes total sense as to why. Taehyung dominates this era, for real.

I know, I know; most people’s top 3 would be the rap line, but sue me, okay? This song is the real power of BTS, to me, because I love it even though I do not vibe with the rap genre in any type of way. This song is hella rap-heavy, and I think it’s bomb. Iconic, even.

Taehyung: Listen, I have things to say. You know what I said about Taehyung and rap-heavy songs. This song makes me a want a rap line B-side song with Taehyung as the vocalist so badly. Give me an album with Jin, Jungkook, and Jimin killing the vocal game on one song and Taehyung plus the rap line killing a dirty hip hop song like this, please. It would be absolutely epic. Taehyung’s distortion, growls, vocal color, all of it, lend themselves so well to this era. He’s got the same lines and melodies as the rest of the vocalists, but because he’s got grit, it sounds like this song was meant for him. The rest of the vocalists do amazingly, too, but Taehyung sticks way the fuck out to me.

J-Hope: Alright, I know Hobi is number 1 on most people’s list, and I apologize. I agree that Hobi killed this song. His vocal at the beginning is fabulous. He intentionally makes it sound more whiny and nasal, and it’s perfect. Hobi is such a vibe in this song.

Yoongi: It was very difficult deciding who to put down as the one who owned this era, but I had to give it to Yoongi because of his delivery. He also made his voice thinner like Hobi, and it lent itself nicely to his rap verse, especially since the vocal was really animated. Yoongi puts distortion on the end of his lines, too, and it sounds amazing. I could listen to Yoongi spit fire on this song for days.

I have opinions about this song. I’m fully aware that, objectively, the top 3 would be Jungkook, Jin, and Jimin, but like I said--opinions. This is another iconic BTS song--at least, in my opinion. Just like with FIRE, I remember hearing this song everywhere before I started listening to BTS. I’m gonna say some things now that you may not agree with, and that’s fine because this is a fun post to make, and I’m excited to see what everyone thinks; just know every BTS member is an icon in my eyes.

Jin: Yo, Jin sounds so fire in this song. In the MV, I’d say he sticks out a touch more than he does if you only consider the vocal, but the vocal is still astounding. It’s not really the range I’m impressed with because Jin is a countertenor, so the C5s he’s hitting are well within his comfort range, but the tone he has when he hits them is remarkable. They’re so clear, but they still have character to them. I stan.

Jungkook: So, Jungkook mostly has the same melodies as Taehyung in this song, which makes sense because Jungkook’s comfort range is slightly below Jimin and Jin’s--though above Taehyung’s. I think the way Jungkook sounds on the chorus is gorgeous. It’s similar to War of Hormone, where his clean vocals bounce off of Taehyung’s--which, in FAKE LOVE, happens in the first chorus--and it sounds so nice. Jungkook goes for narrower vowels, and it makes his vocal takes sound slightly thinner, so it adds an interesting dimension to the song since Taehyung goes wider on the same parts.

Taehyung: Here are my opinions; are you ready? For the life of me, I don’t understand why people stan Taehyung’s deep vocals in DNA and then don’t think the same thing about FAKE LOVE. The way Taehyung sounds opening up this song is just as impactful, to me, as his intro in DNA was. Plus, him singing the melody while Jimin sang the harmony at the end of this song sounded beautiful. The real shit, though, is the chorus. Taehyung’s vocal texture on the chorus is it, fam. I’m not going to say anything about anybody else because people can absolutely love different members as much as I love Taehyung, but to me, Taehyung’s vocal on the chorus was the stand out piece in FAKE LOVE by far. The emotion he conveys and the texture in his voice make him, undoubtedly, the top in this era, for me.

Is this another song where people stan the rap line? It’s more of a beat fetish song than a rap-heavy song, but still. Actually, I guess the top 3 would objectively include Jimin and Jin along with Namjoon, right? Anyway. I didn’t like this song at first, but it grew on me. It was definitely hard to rank, though.

Yoongi: Another fire Yoongi verse lives within this song. He’s so aggressive, you know? He uses that distortion that I love coming from Yoongi, and he does those yips that I stan. It’s a good verse in the first place, but Yoongi really brings it to life and adds a lot of grit to it, so I love it a lot.

Taehyung: I feel largely the same about Taehyung in this song as I do about Taehyung in Not Today and MIC Drop. First of all, Taehyung growls in this song, so that’s iconic and nostalgic at the same time. Second of all, how about that pre-chorus, huh? Again, I don’t want to directly compare him to the other members because everyone is bomb in this song, but Taehyung’s deep voice really brought out the best in the pre-chorus. Besides that, the vocalists kind of just went “oh oh ooh oh,” so my analysis ends here.

Namjoon: I really think Namjoon’s first, opening line in this song is one of the most iconic parts of BTS’s career. If I’m being totally honest, I vibe with Yoongi’s verse more, but Namjoon’s presence in IDOL is so strong that I can’t deny him the title of owning this era. He’s definitely the face of IDOL, and he deserves it because he’s a king.

Alright, so this is one of the most unique songs I’ve heard BTS produce, but it’s not one of my favorites. As such, I ended up being a bit more objective than usual because I don’t have the experience with this song to develop hardcore opinions on who should be in the top 3. I imagine most people would say Jimin, and then maybe Jin and Hobi, as well.

Jin: Jin is not on this list because of “el mariajin,” but that meme is iconic. Jin’s nasally tone really made this song sound special during his parts. It was interesting to listen to him sing because it sounded like it really fit his voice and didn’t at the same time. I absolutely mean that in the best way because I think that kind of disconnect between a song’s tone and the singer can be really fun if it isn’t the case because the singer is a bad match. So, I think Jin’s vocal was awesome and engaging in this track.

Taehyung: This song is another one where Taehyung gets to flex his lower register, and it sounds really pretty. I don’t feel like a lot goes on in this song, so it was hard to rank people, but I really liked Taehyung’s voice against the instrumental. This is a unique genre for BTS, and I think Taehyung’s voice found an interesting place in it that I liked a lot.

Jimin: I’d say this is pretty close to being a Jimin song. His vocal stands out so much on the chorus. This song needs Jimin’s sweet tone for it to pull of what it wants to, so the fact that Jimin got a good chunk of the key vocal in this track helped it a lot. I’m not sure what else to say about it, but Jimin’s voice really fit this genre.

This song is a vibe and a half. Weirdly, I thought it was too generic the first time I listened to it, but now I adore it. Objectively, I think my ranking would still be the same as my opinionated ranking. Well, Jimin and Yoongi might trade places or Jin might replace Yoongi, but whatever.

Jimin: Y’all I was so convinced this was supposed to be a Jimin song when I was first exposed to it. He’s got the sweet tone that matches exactly with the genre of this song, and his voice compliments Halsey’s so well. Jimin really milked his vocal color for all it was worth in this song, and it shows. He did amazingly.

Yoongi: Yoongi’s verse is a bop, guys. It almost sounds lazy the way Yoongi delivers it, and it adds so much character to the song. It’s also pretty animated considering that this song is quite mellow, and it offered a nice contrast between everybody else and Yoongi. I kind of want to bounce up and down every time I hear his verse. Don’t know if that helps convey my feelings about it or not.

Taehyung: Taehyung’s voice in this song is flirting if flirting was a sound. Like I said, I thought Jimin was meant to be the center for this song, but I’ve seen a lot of “Who Owned Each BTS Era” videos, and not a one of them has failed to put Taehyung in the number 1 spot for the Boy With Luv era. I, like, totally get it, though. The way Taehyung presents his voice in this song is somehow gentle and light, but it still has a bottom to it, if that makes sense. And his falsettos on the second pre-chorus? Shut up. This is one of those songs where Taehyung’s specific accent and pronunciation make the song so much better. I absolutely agree with people that this was Taehyung’s era.

This is one of my absolute favorite BTS songs. First of all, it’s relaxing as fuck to listen to, and second of all, the vocalists really did that, you know? This song is hard for Jungkook, who isn’t a countertenor, and it’s hard for a baritone like Taehyung, and they still slapped in Lights. I don’t know what I would say objectively about this song. I mean, objectively, looking at the members’ vocal ranges, Taehyung would still top the list because he had the hardest job. Then I’d probably say Jungkook and Jin.

Yoongi: I know I just said a bunch of shit about the vocalists, but Yoongi’s verse is so pretty. Relaxation is guaranteed upon listening to his verse. It’s kind of a rap, but it’s also kind of singing, and Yoongi’s voice is so lovely to listen to. I want to give a shout-out to Hobi, though, because I almost gave this spot to him. I just thought the melodies in Yoongi’s verse were a touch more pleasing.

Jungkook: Again, Jungkook used narrower vowels in Lights because that’s how he sings comfortably when he’s a bit higher into his range, and it pulled a beautiful tone out of him. His vocals were really gorgeous in this song. Once again, he had a nice contrast singing opposite Taehyung, so it made me appreciate his vocals even more.

Taehyung: Y’all Taehyung being able to sing this high up into his range for the whole song is already impressive, but also having to hit two Bb4s and a C5 on top of that is hella impressive for a baritone. Not only that, but his vocal color sounds stunning when he’s up that high. I said this earlier, but his vocal tone is consistent regardless of the register he’s in, and the way he mixes on the high notes is gorgeous for that reason. It still sounded intense and full and deep despite it being close to the top of his range. This song is a banger regardless, but Taehyung’s vocals are what make me listen to it so often because they’re so special to listen to. He definitely owned this era.

So, I stuck Make It Right on this list because, even though it didn’t have a MV filmed for it, it was still a song which got two MV versions--even though they were almost exactly the same--so I figured it read as more of a single than the songs that were called singles but didn’t get an MV, like Don’t Leave Me. I have no clue who would be the top 3 if you think about it objectively, but I think it’d probably be the either the maknae line or two of the maknae line and Jin.

Jimin: So, this is a repetitive song; it’s a really calming song, so the repetition isn’t bad, but repetitive it still is. Therefore, I was paying attention to vocal color more than anything, and Jimin’s light tone sounded so beautiful in Make It Right. First of all, he does sing a bit deeper in the beginning of this song, and that’s really nice because Jimin’s voice has a lot of character when he’s either lower in his range or belting. Secondly, Jimin’s falsetto in this song is so pretty. There are a few songs where his falsetto can sound much the same as Jin’s or Jungkook’s, but I thought Jimin’s falsetto jumped out a lot in Make It Right.

J-Hope: Hobi sang the same melody that Taehyung and Jimin did on the verse, but it was just a bit different, and I adore it. Hobi’s vocal color isn’t heard nearly enough, and when it gets to be front and center in a song like this, I love it. He’s usually the one in the rap line with the highest vocal tone, but when he sings, he comes out with this lovely, low tone that blows me away every time I hear it. In Make It Right, it made the melodies during Hobi’s part feel special, and there was just a touch of static on his vocal, as well, that brought the verse to life.

Taehyung: I don’t know if this was intentional, but Taehyung’s vocal in the Make It Right chorus sounded like it was mixed to be the main vocal. I don’t know if that’s because this song sounds like it was made for his vocal tone or not, but if I listen to the “oh, oh, I can make it right; alright, alright; oh, oh, I can make it right” lyric, I hear Taehyung’s voice on top and everybody else underneath. It’s gorgeous, though. That’s why I feel like this is his era because his voice runs throughout the entire song in a way that doesn’t happen often with Taehyung. The solo parts he had in this song were done beautifully, as well, because you got to hear him sing in his soft, full voice and then flip into the airy falsetto that sticks out in any song it’s in. I don’t know, I just thought Taehyung’s vocal sounded exceptional in Make It Right, which is why it reads as a Taehyung song to me, as well as a Taehyung era.

Y’all about to fight me in the replies over this one, I already know. ON and Black Swan are the two eras I’m most nervous about posting my opinions on, but it’ll be interesting to see if anyone agrees with me. I know Jungkook is most people’s number 1 for this era and that Taehyung, Jin, or Hobi fall underneath him; that’s totally fine. Jungkook killed it, and I’m not trying to convince you that my thoughts are the only correct ones in any way. If I’m being critical and not subjective, Jungkook absolutely owns this era. My ranking is as opinionated as it gets.

Jimin: So, I had a hard time deciding who to stick in this position since all the rap verses were fire, and Jin also sounded amazing, but I think it’s the fact that Jimin’s vocal sticks out throughout the entire song that made me choose him. This is gonna sound like a joke again, but the “hey na na na” part is, like, a key vocal for ON, and Jimin’s vocal color makes it into a memorable piece of the song. I don’t know if that’s weird, but Jimin felt very present in ON.

Jungkook: I’m sorry, okay? In a lot of ways, the bridge of ON makes this Jungkook’s era. It was an extremely difficult vocal to pull off, and the song basically stops to give Jungkook the spotlight in a way BTS music doesn’t ever really do. I get that the bridge is, in many ways, the center of the song. I was so close to giving the era to Jungkook, I swear, because he sounded gorgeous. Especially the rasp on his voice when he belts. The falsetto note at the top is beautiful, but when Jungkook comes back down in his chest voice and jumps back up to a belt before his solo ends? I mean, he’s an absolute icon.

Taehyung: The reason I have Taehyung down as owning this era is because his vocal sticks out more during the rest of ON. This period of BTS music, up to their 2020 releases, has been doing things for Taehyung’s voice. He sounds different from how he used to, and the tone he’s creating from the songs that BTS has been making recently is stunning. I thought it fit ON really well, and Taehyung’s voice popped out every time he sang. I adore Jungkook, and objectively, he killed this era with his vocals; it’s just that his voice popped in the bridge, and I decided to consider the entire song because the chorus and pre-chorus are my favorite parts of ON. I’m going to say a similar thing about Black Swan, but in a song where the chorus sounds largely the same, regardless of who’s singing, the fact that Taehyung’s tone stuck out despite that was big deciding factor, for me.

Hold on. I know this is a set of unpopular opinions, but remember how I said I was considering the vocal first? To me, these vocals sounded the most unique in Black Swan. Again, if this were about the MV, Jimin would annihilate everybody; if it were about the choreo, nobody could touch Jimin. It’s just not what I was considering when making these rankings. I did consider the performance for Black Swan, but Jimin didn’t have as many central parts in the stage choreo as he did in the MV; plus I thought Jungkook and Taehyung both killed the choreo, as well, so I that’s how I landed on these rankings.

J-Hope: I really love Hobi’s rap verse in Black Swan. His vocal tone is gorgeous, and it sounds really unique in this song. The melodies for his verse are really nice on top of the mix, so I think Hobi probably had the most unique-sounding vocal in this song; it made his verse stand out since the rest of Black Swan is quite dark in tone while Hobi’s verse brought a bit of pop to it.

Yoongi: That being said, Yoongi’s verses in this song slapped. Yoongi can have this deep, almost lazy-sounding vocal tone--as I’ve said already--with really relaxed pronunciation, and for a song like Black Swan, it matched it perfectly. My attention is always grabbed by Yoongi in this song because it fits the concept so well. Also, he picks up right after Hobi’s verse, which had a bit of a brighter vibe, and the way Yoongi pulled it into the darker pre-chorus was amazing.

Taehyung: Alright, so the vocals are my favorite part of Black Swan, but there’s so much processing on the vocalists that Taehyung’s vocal tone is the only one that sticks out to me, and that’s why he owns this era, in my opinion. Taehyung, even, almost sounds the same as the rest of the vocal line, but his vocal color is distinct enough that he sounds different where the rest of the vocalists sound pretty similar. Also, like Yoongi, Taehyung’s deep vocal tone complimented the song really, really well. Black Swan is another example of how the BTS music from 2020 allowed Taehyung to showcase a slightly different vocal color, so I had to give the era to him.

I think we’re in slightly less controversial territory now, so here we go. If you’re being objective, I imagine anyone would say Jungkook topped his era. After, that I don’t know who would be in the top 3 objectively, but I’d guess it’d probably be Jimin and Jin since they featured a lot in this song.

Taehyung: I’m not gonna lie: this is another song that’s pretty repetitive, and a song where the chorus sounds the same, regardless of who’s singing. It’s not a bad thing because all the vocalists have beautiful voices, but since Taehyung didn’t sing “stay gold” once in this song, he stuck out by avoiding the repetitive hook of Stay Gold. I mean, his voice works extremely well in songs like this anyway, but his lovely vocal tone was especially beautiful on the pre-chorus. I think the way he decided to deliver it was really impactful, and it’s probably my favorite part of Stay Gold.

Yoongi: I just love Yoongi in Stay Gold. Taehyung and Yoongi are a hella theme for me in this post, but what can you do? Jungkook technically starts this song by singing the intro, but Yoongi’s got the first verse, and the way he adds just a bit of animation into his otherwise relaxed voice is so nice to listen to. It’s a short part, but it still stands out.

Jungkook: This is another one of those songs that’s tailored to Jungkook’s vocal. Again, the chorus is pretty similar across the vocalists, but Jungkook’s adlibs are so pretty in this song. Jungkook usually does most of the adlibs for songs like these with Jimin backing him up, but Stay Gold had a handful of standout adlibs from Jungkook that added so much magic to the tone of the song. Plus, even though the chorus is what it is, Jungkook stands out elsewhere in the song, and his vocal color is perfectly showcased in those areas. The Stay Gold era goes to Jungkook.

I almost want to save this song for last because it’s so iconic already. Listen, it’s a basic pop song, but the way BTS does it makes it not sound basic. I don’t think it’s one of BTS’s all-time best songs, but I do think it’s been their most successful so far since it’s a basic pop song that can get popular easily, and I think it’s their most repeatable song. I could--and have--listened to this for an hour straight without getting tired of it. It’s because BTS did it, honestly. Anyway, objectively, I still think Taehyung would top this era, but I know a lot of people would say Jungkook should, which is fine; I can tell that, when they recorded this song, they wanted Jungkook to be the vocal center. Also, a lot people love Jin in this era, and they should. He’s a king, and he killed it. Adding onto that, this was a vocal track so Hobi and Yoongi didn’t get a lot of parts, but they killed what they had; I just wanted to say that.

Jimin: I had a hard time picking the third member, y’all. I was bouncing between Jimin, Jungkook, and Jin, and honestly, I think they all did equally well in this song. What made me pick Jimin is that his vocal tone in this song is so different from how he normally sounds--especially when he sings this live. I don’t know if it’s because he stays pretty low in his vocal range for Dynamite or because of the type of song it is, but Jimin’s voice sounded so full in this song. I mean, yeah, he has moments where his sweet vocal tone comes out, too, but he mostly showcases a deeper vocal tone. I love it a lot because it isn’t usual for Jimin, so I think this is a good era for him.

Namjoon: I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion or what, but Namjoon kind of feels like the face of this song in a lot of ways. He did say he had a lot to do with the vocal in this song because he’s “in charge of English,” so maybe that’s it, but his part in the pre-chorus was a hella bop. He did it so damn well. Yoongi did, too, mind you; I just think Namjoon brought a little bit of flavor into it, you know? He had all the jams in this song, for real. I remember wanting to highlight Namjoon’s role in Dynamite when I was thinking about making this post, and now I’ve done it, so I’m satisfied.

Taehyung: Y’all. I don’t know if there’s any Taehyung era on this list that Taehyung embodies quite like he embodies the Dynamite era. This is, like, the only moment I’m going to talk about visual concepts in this post because damn. Whoever decided to put Taehyung in that green suit and give that shade of blonde hair was a genius. He was looking some type of way in this era. But that’s not the point of this post. Taehyung’s vocal tone was astoundingly well suited to this song. He sounded the most distinct from the other vocalists than I’ve heard him sound in a long time. On top of that, he got the last chorus of Dynamite, which is the money piece of the song, in my opinion. They really said, “Let’s do a key change in this already high-pitched song that’ll jump up to a C#5 right at the end and give that part to BTS’s only baritone.” I know Jin hit the same note, and he did it beautifully, as well, but a C#5 is more comfortable for Jin to hit than it is for Taehyung because of Jin’s vocal type. The fact that Taehyung nails that note in studio and live is insane to me. To go from one line in their debut song to this? Holy shit, you know? Anyway, we’ve been here forever. Taehyung owns this era because he’s a mad impressive vocalist, and he made Dynamite his bitch.

Are you still with me? I’ve seen a lot of people say this was either Taehyung or Jin’s era, but I think I’ve also seen people show love to Hobi. Honestly, this is such a lovely song that I would agree with anyone’s opinions on who owned this era. It really comes down to who’s vocals hit you in the feels in that special way, and I can understand why any of the members would do that for someone in Life Goes On.

Jin: So, it’s kind of hard to hear in the studio version because the chorus is just everyone’s vocals layered on top of one another with shifting main vocals--which is fine because it’s supposed to feel like BTS, as a whole, is singing this song to ARMY--but Jin’s falsetto is heavenly in this song. He sings lower in his register, too, but I’m really drawn to how light and pretty his harmonies were. You can really hear it when he sings live, but regardless, Jin was awesome in Life Goes On. Even his lower tone brought a lot of character to the song.

Yoongi: Yoongi hits my heart in this song, man. I know he’s kind of rapping, but it comes off as singing, and it’s so beautiful. I could fall asleep to Yoongi’s voice in Life Goes On. It reminds me a lot of Namjoon’s part in Spring Day; we get a unique, melodic vocal tone within Life Goes On that we don’t normally hear in BTS’s music because Yoongi doesn’t usually sound like this. It’s so nice to have Yoongi on a part like this. I support soft Yoongi on future BTS singles. 100%.

Taehyung: Everyone sounds beautiful in Life Goes On, okay? Let me preface with that. However, Taehyung’s vocals really do support the tone of this song. It’s one of those tracks that’s supposed to sound peaceful and emotional, and it seems like Taehyung always ends up being the go-to vocalist for supporting that kind of music. I love everyone’s part in this song; Jin is very ethereal; Jimin is light and sharp; Jungkook sounds clear and smooth; Yoongi’s relaxing vocals are gorgeous; Namjoon brought in a lot of lovely bass; and Hobi kills the delivery of his melodies. There’s just something about the soul that comes with Taehyung’s voice in Life Goes On that gets me. The fact that he was the lead vocal at the very end, too, with the “I remember” lyric was such a good choice because the flip between his breathy, low vocal and his stunning falsetto runs closed the song out perfectly. It’s kind of like this was a fun song that everyone contributed to, and then Taehyung came in and added emotion on top of the warmth you get from everybody else. In my opinion, Taehyung owned this era because he felt like a special highlight within Life Goes On.

Why do BTS’s Japanese songs always hit so hard? I think the only difference between my ranking and the majority ranking is that Jungkook would probably be in it. I understand because I, too, thought Jungkook would be in this. However, upon further inspection, Jungkook isn’t actually in this song all that much. I mean, neither is Taehyung, to be fair, but Jin, Jimin, and Taehyung dominated the last--almost--minute and a half of the song, so. Here we are.

Taehyung: When I first listened to this, I thought, “Wow Taehyung doesn’t actually have a whole lot going on in this song.” However, I think his vocals do sort of anchor Film out in a way. It’s not like he had any sort of crazy vocalization going on, but Jin and Jimin were singing in a really raw way; it was a brilliant touch to convey the tone of the song, but it was desperation, not sadness. Taehyung’s vocal is where the complete story behind the song becomes clear because he adds the missing emotion. I don’t think Film out would’ve been as impactful had Taehyung not been given the parts he was given.

Jin: I mean, Jin killed it. The MV is definitely a Jin MV, but even the vocal features him really heavily. And I loved it. Jin always shines in their Japanese singles, and I think that’s because they’re always created to be emotional. Jin absolutely pulled that off in Film out. He played along the line of calm and tension beautifully, so his vocals definitely add much of the character to the song that we got in the final product.

Jimin: Jimin’s vocals were stunning, let me tell you. He sounded gorgeous. The high notes he was hitting, the tone he chose, the emotion he conveyed; Jimin owns his era, no questions asked. The harmonies he had with Taehyung and Jin in the last two lines? Shut up. Jimin was incredible in this song. It’s not very often that Jimin’s vocals stand out like this, so I’m glad he got the opportunity to be the vocal center, even though it was only for the last half of the song. It was so impactful to listen to him, so I knew this era was going to Jimin the second I listened to Film out.

Was I hella biased about this one? Yeah. Do I know who objectively owned this era? Yeah, it was supposed to be Jungkook. He’s the center of this song, obviously. I’d say the objective view of this era would be what I have, just ordered different. Taekook would probably switch positions for most people. That being said, this song is hard, y’all. Hobi said the recording process was easier than with Dynamite, but if that’s true, then the vocalists really upped their game because there’s C5s all over this track. It’s also repetitive, though, so that’s why it ended up being about who sounded the best, to me, up in that really high range. First, shoutout to Jimin because his vocal sounded really pretty on the pre-chorus, and his part in the chorus was awesome. Also, as an aside, the flirtiness in this song and in the MV had me on the floor, for real. I’ve not recovered.

Jungkook: As I said, I’m aware that this is a Jungkook song. When appealing to the Western market--as they are with an English song like Butter--BTS usually push Jungkook as the center more than they do in their Korean-language songs. Jungkook is my number three because there was really no one else it could’ve been. Which is both about Jungkook’s presence in the song and about how incredible he sounded. Butter, unlike Dynamite, really let Jungkook’s vocal tone pop. Not that Jungkook sounded bad in Dynamite--not at all--but Butter let Jungkook really shine. He got to put a little grit in his vocal, he got to belt; I mean, he sounded bomb.

Jin: Jin featuring more in Butter than in Dynamite has me living, you don’t understand. Y’all, Jin sounded so good in Butter. I could talk about every single line he had in Butter and tell you why he sounded stunning on every one of them. Like, the pre-chorus? Jin’s falsetto was beautiful. The middle line in the chorus when he sings “talk is cheap”? It’s iconic. The way he sings his part in the second verse? I mean, please. I know this is a lot about Jin being my number two because of his vocal, but isn’t that what this post is about? He was a king, you guys.

Taehyung: I don’t think it’s that much of a biased stretch to say that Taehyung owned this era. I mean, we can talk about the center or the amount of airtime or whatever you want, but Taehyung stands out the most, vocally, in Butter, and them’s the facts. No, I do not accept criticism. Jin is a close second, but man, Taehyung sounded so special, to me. I usually don’t catch incredible vocal takes on my first listen of a song because I’m trying to process the newness of it, but Taehyung’s vocal tone took my attention right away while I was watching the MV premiere. I’m not gonna talk about him being a baritone and hitting C5s again because it’s gonna sound like nagging, at this point, but when he goes up that high, he sounds stunning. Stunning. Not to mention, the dance-pop vibe to this song suits his vocal tone so well. Taehyung got to play with his vocal so much in Butter, it seems, that he produced an amazing vocal tone just for this song--and it’s amazing. Taehyung owns the era because--well, because his voice has, once again, devastated me.

I gotta be honest with this one and say that, for the first time, I didn’t walk away from a BTS era going “that member definitely owned this era for me.” After going through the song for the second time after its release, I got a good lock on who I think is the number one, but that still left the last two slots. Number three was the one I really had trouble with, though, because Yoongi did really well with his part--especially since he doesn’t usually sing--and Jungkook’s adlibs were amazing. The problem was that all the members felt equal in this era, and that doesn’t usually happen. So, I really had to analyze what it meant for someone to own an era, and I ended up with these three members because they had the most memorable vocals. Other people would probably include Jungkook instead of Jimin or Taehyung and maybe even Yoongi--which I get because I almost did the same--but this is what I thought was true for me.

Jimin: Jimin almost got beat out by Yoongi, but that was only for a second because I really listened to all the adlibs and embellishments Jimin was doing with his vocal in Permission to Dance, and it made me think he was the obvious choice for my number three. My first listen of this song made me think Jimin was the one that stuck out the most, and obviously, that view changed, but I still think Jimin was a foundational piece of Permission to Dance. His vocal did blend with the mix really well, but his vocal tone actually shone a lot during his parts despite that.

Taehyung: He just can’t help it, you know? If we’re talking about standout vocals, Taehyung’s voice is gonna clinch it nine times out of ten. Permission to Dance is bright and fun, and I thought Taehyung’s vocal brought a lot of warmth to it that isn’t there otherwise. His vocal filled out the song every time he sang--during his verse, the choruses, and the bridge. Rather than being a foundation through his full vocals, though, his vocal actually made him stand out more as a special piece. Also--and I don’t know if this makes sense--but Taehyung’s voice made the song seem happier, in a sense? I guess that would come down to the warmth I was talking about. Anyway, the bottom line is that Taehyung, not only filled out Permission to Dance, but lifted it up and made it even brighter.

Jin: No holds barred, Jin killed this era. Jin also made Permission to Dance sound fuller, but Jin’s vocal had the added quality of making the choruses sound more impactful. Besides that, though, this song was just made for Jin. That’s really what it is. Jin’s vocal tone sounds absolutely gorgeous in Permission to Dance. I don’t know if it’s because of the key or the genre or the melody or what, but Jin sounded so powerful and resonant, and it was obvious to me that he stuck out the most. I don’t know how many others would agree, but I really think Jin shone the brightest in the Permission to Dance era, which is why I had to give to him.

Thus ends this post that took me two days to complete. I know Taehyung made it into nearly every top 3, but again, it’s just my honest opinion. I always gravitate to Taehyung’s vocal more than anything else because I find his vocal color to be so unique and special. However, BTS is special because of all seven members. I may not have put your favorite member on my list for a specific era or gave them a lower ranking than you thought they should get, but just know that I wouldn’t love BTS’s music as much as I do if any of the members were excluded. All of them kill it in different ways, and all of them have eras where they are undoubtedly the face of the song. And this post is only about the singles, mind you. We haven’t even talked about some of the best BTS songs of all time.

So, I hope you don’t find my opinions annoying, and I hope you share your opinions in the replies, whether it be because you think differently or because you agree with my unpopular choices. Even though I talked about why I think a certain member owns a certain era, I’m just explaining my thought process; I don’t want to change anyone’s mind on who they love in each era because that’s the beauty of ARMY and BTS. There’s so much to love, so I hope to see some love for all the members in response to this post. It was fun; thanks for reading.

#bts #kim taehyung #park jimin #jeon jungkook #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok

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idrewbedraggledbreaths · 4 years

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Sorting Daenerys Targaryen and Jorah Mormont with the sortinghatchats system (GoT verse)

I didn’t want to write this post before I finished my Killing Eve sortings (basically Carolyn and Konstantin), but I’m stuck with them, so I decided to revisit an old fandom instead with a new approach. My take here is possibly an outsider’s take, given that I haven’t interacted with this fandom for a while, save for a few close friends I made in it. Now, bear in mind this sorting system IS NOT the original HP system, it is simply based on it. It sorts you into two houses. Your primary is you WHY, your reason to be who you are, what you believe in. Your secondary is your HOW, the way you act and approach life. Below is a little tl;dr of what each of them are (I’m using the animal terminology that’s being used in many blogs, by the way. If you know the houses, you know what each animal is supposed to represent).

Lion primaries are intuitive and guided by their moral compass, which is very strong (doesn’t mean what they believe in is in fact good or correct) and Lion secondaries are the people who charge straight at something, regardless of whether they will come out of it unscathed or not.

Snake primaries value people. Not any person, their people. They will go to hell and earth for their people to be safe and happy, which can get kind of self destructive. Snake secondaries improvise much like Lion secondaries, but they tend to adapt to situation and shapeshift their way out of problems.

Bird primaries also value right and wrong like Lion primaries, but they build their systems with external information and observation, not from their gut feelings. That means Bird primaries change a lot with time, because their ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ change. Bird secondaries collect. Skills, tools, random knowledge, they delve deep and acquire as much of them as they can, not because things are useful, but because it’s fun.

Finally, Badger primaries are also people-persons, but their communities are much broader than a Snake primary’s. They value people, tradition, cultures and so (but not every Badger sees everyone as people, so there’s that). Badger secondaries are the hardworking types in the sense that they cultivate things, they invest in them and even become them.

You can develop models of each house according to what you find useful or what society has instilled in you, but when push come to shove, the models aren’t the real you. All of these houses can burn, meaning their essence is somehow scared away from them due to trauma, depression, societal pressures, etc. That means a Lion stops trusting their instincts, a Snake no longer feels like they’re able to protect their people or their people are better off without them, a Bird loses faith in their systems and a Badger closes themselves off from their communities and adopts a smaller circle of people. Burnt houses can look a lot like each other. For more info, check out the tags.

Daenerys

Double Lion, no doubt (for most of the show). Dany knows what’s right, she feels it in her bones. She never tries to rationalise her decisions and she won’t usually budge, even if she is presented with a more rational plan. None of her advisors have really convinced her to do anything, they might have pushed her to do what they wanted, but if she had her way, Daenerys would only ever listen to her own heart. She needs people around her to help her not make impulsive, brash decisions(because of her Lion secondary that I will get into), but she definitely doesn’t need - and doesn’t want - a moral compass, hers works just fine. She was burned as hell in the first episodes of the first season, mostly because of Viserys’ horrible influence, because he had robbed her of a purpose, of her truth. Drogo also stifles her primary and secondary for a while, but he eventually gives her some space to be herself. When she unburns, she unburns fast. ‘Not a Queen, a Khaleesi’ is pretty much Day gong ‘yeah, I can do things my way, I can be my own person with my own values and my own self.’ I think from there on, her quest to liberate 1) take back the Iron Throne 2) liberate Slaver’s Bay and ‘Break the Wheel’ just show how much she is focused on a big quest that is not explained by reason, by her need to form a community or by the influence of someone in her life. She does it because that’s the Right Thing ™ to do, and that’s Lion primary in a nutshell. Another thing that points towards Lion primary to me is how she just won’t take criticism and specially betrayal well (not that anyone does, but Dany is particularly unforgiving most of the time). Lion primaries are particularly shaken when someone they admire doesn’t have the same moral standards as they do, because deep down they like to think they know what’s ‘good’ and ‘true’ (oops my Snake primary who doesn’t really get Lions is showing), so if you don’t follow them and their beliefs, you must be doing something wrong. This is why Dany is so fucking pissed at Jorah when she finds out he betrayed her. She is also devastated true, and she misses him, but her ideals and her ‘truth’ stop her from seeing things from his side ad from forgiving him until he has proven himself worthy. Her reaction to betrayals tie in to the fact that she is a MASSIVE Lion secondary. She headbutts her way into things and her liberal use of Dracarys is proof of that. That’s not to say she doesn’t think or plan or listen to her advisors, but when push comes to shove, homegirl ACTS. Fuck the consequences, I have three dragons, fucking try me. Don’t tell me that climbing on Drogon in the fighting pits and burning the Khals were calculated decisions. Burning the Lannister army wasn’t a calculated decision. She leaves the planning to the people around her. This is something I struggle with regarding Lions, but I have to admit they are much more prone to seizing opportunities that us Bird secondaries (because I do have a Snake model but it is utter shit).

Now, in seasons 7 and 8, she starts burning again. She gets to Westeros, where people aren’t flocking to her side like they did in Essos. Daenerys lets herself be swayed by Jon’s pretty little speeches that sound very Lion, sound very true to Daenerys, but guess what? She is fucking betrayed by everyone. The people she loved are killed, her children are killed (and the whole ‘I will take what is mine’ thing indicates that she might have a Snaky primary model, after all, she does some things because of what she claimed as hers, be it people or the Throne), she is left absolutely alone, so she burns, she loses faith in herself, starts doubting her actions and her instincts and no one is there to help her unburn safely, so the way she does it is destructive, as it often is with Lion primaries who don’t have guidance in order to regain their trust their instincts and their selves. To me, the KL incidence is her primary going ‘You fucking left me behind, you fuckers, now you are going to see that I was right and fuck the consequences’. Her primary takes a turn for the worse with the help of an impulsive secondary and she ends doing anything to reach her end goal, similar to Albus Dumbledore and his disregard for human life as long as Voldemort being defeated is concerned.

Jorah

I have no doubts whatsoever that Jorah is a Snake primary. I know the fandom likes to sort him into Hufflepuff when using the traditional sorting system and while there’s no doubts he is a loyalist to the bone, Jorah’s loyalties are much narrower than a Badger primary’s would be. Before he meets Daenerys, he wants to go home and make up with his family, because they are the ones who matter. Not his reputation, not the North, not Bear Islad itself, the Mormont House. Before that still, he does literally anything to keep Lynesse happy, including doing things that are against the law. This utter devotion to certain people are what makes him a Snake primery to me, a paricularly self destructive one. He starts worrying about the fact that he berayed Daenerys when he ‘adopts’ her into his circles and more so when she goes from being in his outermost circles to being the one person his Snake primary is attached to. Daeerys is everything to Jorah. Does he persoally care about freeing slaves or generally following her morals? No, he does it because it is importat to her and he wants her to see he is worthy of her attention (I, another Snek, still don’t kow if I like Florence + The Machine so damn much because I liked a girl who was into FATM or if my Bird secondary saw her taste for FATM and went ‘OMG ME TOO LETS TALK ABOUT THAT’ and the primary just said ‘huh, that’s legit. We’ll worship her from now on’, so yeah, us Snakes do that. On a side note, I never worked up the courage to ask her out, though). That’s why he goes batshit when she banishes him. He doesn’t burn, which means his primary is so strong it wasn’t fazed by being ast out of her circles; no, he is hell bent on getting back into her good graces and if he has to sacrifice his life fr that, so be it.

Now, when it comes to secondary, I’d say Jorah’s a Lion secondary too, even though he has a lot of models he picked up with time. Models are useful, models get you out of bad situations, but they’re not who you really are. Jorah wans to be a Bird secondary when he’s around Daenerys, he wants to be the careful planner who looks ahead and ensures she is successful and he also needs a Snake secondary model, because his life demands that he twists and turns himself to fit different situations, but deep inside he is a Lion. His most honest moments are the moments when he just does it, no thoughts head empty. Did he have a solid plans when he kidnapped Tyrion? Fuck no! Did he truly know what he was doing when he decided to fight in the pits? Fuck no! Did he think before he charged at the wights and saved Daenerys in Winterfell? Fuck no! His head was probably just going ‘my Daenerys is in danger let’s punch first and see what happens later’. He’s not like Littlefinger, who plans everything ad is so fast at analysing and changing plans he looks like a Snake. His models make him seem like the opposite of Dany, like a Bird to a Lion, brains while she is brawn, but when she is in danger, Jorah charges.

What the Jorleesi shippers do is take Dany’s Lion primary that is so focused on a quest and show her that she can also include people in her big aspirations. The gut feeling that is so characteristic of Lions is already inside her, all she would need is to put it into words, which isn’t necessarily the strongest suits of many Lions (that’s a Bird thing). Since most of their dynamics inevitably lies on Jorah’s models regulating Dany’s secondary, there’s not much point in ‘taming her Lion’. Jorah stays the same. The fandom looooves his Snake/Lion, specially since us Snakes tend to be too hard on ourselves. A self-loathing Snake who is also a stupid brave Lion secondary? Yes. They are both stupid brave. Also just stupid. Just talk, you two, for fuck’s sake. Get over your Lion, Daenerys, and talk to him, his Snake won’t allow him to bother you too much.

#daenerys targaryen #jorah mormont #Dany x Jorah #jorleesi #sortinghatchats #lion primary #gryffindor primary #lion secondary #gryffindor secondary #snake primary #slytherin primary #double lion #snake/lion

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imma-lil-teapot · 4 years

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TMNT 2003/2k3 Headcanon: Crying - (Leonardo)

Feel free to scroll past this first part if you’re not interested in my silly rambling and nonsense. I won’t mind. Promise. ;)

Okey-dokey then, with the global epidemic that is the Coronavirus well in action and most of the world stuck in lockdown (starting this Friday for us too), felt like getting the ‘ol creative juices flowing with a little headcanon-y thingy in preparation for -possibly- more fandom writings to keep myself busy during the house arrest (well... it kinda is!) and hopefully my mind off all the bad news. :(

Also, this is totally my first one on the blog! WOOT! Please bear in mind that I’m SUPER rusty! Haven’t written in ages so there are bound to be typos and all matter of general errors scattered throughout the post. Don’t pet them! They bite!

Anyhoo~ Despite attempting to create and share with the goal in mind to uplift spirits, I decided to start on a rather upsetting subject (PLEASE DON’T LEAVE! They end on happy notes ;) ) because, Imma just come and say it, I enjoy seeing my favourite characters shed tears (not for just any old reason -their personality plays a huge role in this- and CERTAINLY not for sadistic reasons, land sakes no! But... well, you’ll see~ ;) ) It makes me all gooey and fuzzy inside to see them display such raw emotion and I just wanna leap into the TV screen to hug and console them. I dunno why. Maybe I’m nuts like that. (Remembers Raph crying at the farm when Leo was badly injured and wishes she could just hug them all and take away the pain) Oh well, if you enjoy visualizing the same, then *High Fives*. :)

So yeah, if you read the title, you’ll know this is based on the 2003/2k3 series (my favs). Hope you all enjoy~ :D Grab tissues cause sad turts ahead! :’(

Jibber jabber stops here~

TURTLES~

LEONARDO - You are here

RAPHAEL

DONATELLO - Coming soon

MICHELANGELO - Coming soon

WARNING(S): Because of the subject, Angst and Hurt/Comfort will be present.

RATING: G (General)

WORD COUNT: Don’t have the foggiest.

ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD:

And apparently gifs too, so without further ado: (Completely unintentional but in actuality, totally intentional rhyming)...

TO THE HEADCANONS~~~~

~LEONARDO~

-- It’s no easy feat to make the leader in blue turn on the waterworks. Leo won’t cry for any old reason. It’s not because he has no emotions, far from it, but being the leader of a small ninja clan -who happen to be family as well- is no easy task in itself: he has a lot on his young shoulders and deals with many issues on a daily basis few his age ever have to.

-- It’s because of these reasons that Leo doesn’t cry often. One of the lesser likely to out of the four brothers. But when he does, it’s an emotionally distressing sight to behold.

-- Leo tends to cry whenever those closest to him -namely his brothers, his father/master and truest friends- are severely injured or are in a dire situation. Remember his angry/moody arc? The thought of losing any of them causes him great pain and distress, especially if he were the cause of any of it, and when that happens, he can’t stop the dampness that forms around his eyes and soaks into his mask.

-- He’s not fond of crying, especially in front of others, even though he fully comprehends its normalcy. He feels he needs to be everyone’s rock, their fortress of physical and emotional stability to turn to for strength when things get rough... So when the tears start to fall, he feels he can’t show them, can’t allow them to watch him crumble under the gripling weight of helplessness and anguish.

-- He frantically wipes at his eyes and desperately attempts not to sniffle, but it’s a hopeless battle, for his tears are already a steady stream.

-- He’ll try to hide when possible, usually retreating to his room to allow the worst of the emotions to spill over before returning to the others... Though he may be in there a while: when Leo lets his emotions go, it can be just as powerful as his red-banded brother’s rage.

-- He spares no time in making sure the coast is clear for the tears are already streaming by the time he reaches his futon, and there’s no stopping them now as he lets himself drop to his knees, only halfway onto the mattress. He purposefully leaves the room unlit, cloaking his form in the darkness.

-- He sniffs a few times as he shuffles up against the wall, sitting upright against it, bringing his legs up and hugging them loosely and droops his head against a single knee pad.

-- His voice desperately wishes to escape. To express its misery. But he won’t allow it to, often placing one hand over his face in a bid to quell the sadness and remain silent in the battle against his own inner turmoil. He refuses to let anyone see him in that state of utter sorrow and vulnerability.

-- He whimpers ever so slightly and coughs a few times as breathing becomes difficult. He knows this episode won’t be over any time soon. Fortunately, he keeps some tissues next to his bed for such rare occasions and tries not to blow too loudly. He thinks back to the last time he cried so hard... It’s been a while. It felt like a build up.

-- Time has been forgotten as he’s lost in deep thought. By the time he slips a hand across his eyes, only the material of his mask is still slightly damp. He clears his nostrils a couple of times before considering whether he was ready to return to his family. He’d of course straighten up his bedding beforehand, and would also require a trip to the bathroom to wash his face. A true ninja leaves no evidence.

-- Leo tries to put the horrifying images out of head before leaving his quarters. He doesn’t wish to be weighed down again and thus maybe cause his emotions to come out a second time. He knew someone would catch on that time. Instead, he holds his head up high, focusing on the there and now to carry him forward.

BONUS EXTRA~

-- Failure is also one of his greatest foes. Leo despises it, but not in the irrational sense; he fully comprehends that in order to grow, one has to lose in order to learn and thus, succeed in turn, and while it can frustrate him when he’s unsuccessful at mastering a martial arts technique for example, he understanders it’s part of the process and that no one’s perfect.

-- It’s when his slipups could spell casualties or death to his family and/or friends is when it weighs down on him like a boulder strapped to his shell.

-- A really big one.

-- And it hurts. So much so that it causes him to become despondent and often teary-eyed when no one’s looking.

-- Boi Bloo might also cry from especially sad movie scenes. He gets seriously into the story, and when the scene is just right -perfect music, perfect timing etc.- you may just catch Fearless with watery eyes.

-- He can’t help it. After all, he’s a leader, and very caring and kind-hearted individual, so movies showing children or anyone/anything defenceless getting hurt has him not only visibly upset, but also angry at the cause. He’s a softie like that.

-- He won’t have a meltdown, of course, but the tears are definitely there. Just don’t tease him too much; he’s easily embarrassed by it. ;)

BONUS EXTRA EXTRA FEMALE READER OR S/O EDITION~ (Can also use an OC/FC insert if you wish, up to you)

You had figured something was up by the time you’d finished greeting everyone in the Splinterson household except for the Turtle you’d long to see most and he hadn’t made his presence yet known.

The idea that he must’ve been practicing or meditating swiftly vanished when Mikey told you he’d been in his room in the dark for the past few hours. “The guy hardly ever naps, and even so, never this long.” He’d told you. “I dunno, (Y/N), we were about to check on ‘im when you arrived, but maybe you should be the one to. Think he’d really appreciate it.” And there was absolutely no argument from your side as you were already making your way up to the room.

You didn’t know what to expect as you neared the doorway. Could he possibly still just be sleeping? Meditating in the dark instead of his usual spot by the training area? Or... was he sick? The latter now had you concerned and you picked up your pace... Only to pause mid step when an unmistakable sound reached your ears: a sniffle.

Had it come from within his room? It was the only logical explanation as everyone else was downstairs. You were truly perturbed now as you stood outside the doorway and called out the ‘eldest’ Turtle’s name.

There was some shuffling to be heard but you were unable to tell for sure what he was doing -probably trying to neaten up his bed- “(Y/N)? Just a second, okay?” he responded in a rather awkward verging on frantic tone, and you were certain you heard another sniffle escape him.

That, along with the way he’d replied really didn’t help to put your mind at ease. “Leo, are you alright?” Nor was the pitch blackness in which he remained concealed in.

“Yeah, just... l-looking for something.” There was some more shuffling as if to prove his point, but you were having none of it.

“Then maybe this,” you began, turning around to flick the light switch, “will help?”

“No! Wait!” But it was a split second too late for as soon the brightness illuminated the entire room, you had caught the telltale signs of an emotional meltdown in progress plastered on his face before he quickly turned away and briskly wiped an arm across his face, attempting to hide the shame... or perhaps embarrassment?

“Leo...?” your heart and voice softened, “Hey, what’s wrong?” You automatically walked to him, closing the gap he was now trying to form.

“Nothing,” he lied, and acknowledged it was a fruitless attempt but still couldn’t stop himself. Autopilot panic mode was enabled now. “It’s nothing.”

Unfortunately for him, autopilot mother hen mode was activated for you as you reached with both hands to his carapace and shoulder, gently turning him to face you. “I can see that it’s something.” Your words were gentle, and you wanted nothing more than to take away his pain. “Look at me, Honey.” His body was turned but his head remained to the side. It was clear he didn’t want his obvious distress on display, even to you. “Please, Leo?” You tried again, and slowly but surely, his eyes met yours, and you felt your heart sink further.

The fabric of his mask was wet and eyes were still red with fresh tears that threatened to fall. He appeared so broken and helpless as he stared at you, and even though he uttered no words, you could practically hear him despairingly ask “Is this what you wanted? To see me at my lowest?” from his expression alone.

Never had you witnessed the leader of this band of mutant brothers cry. At times you had wondered if he ever did, and yet here he was; the incredible pillar of strength and dignity you had come to know and adore, in tears and so dejected that you couldn’t stop your own eyes from becoming damp the more you gazed at him. “Oh, Sweety...” You whispered as you felt your soul shatter. It was too much to bear. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, one around the midsection and the other over his shoulder, and buried your face into his leathery neck, offering every ounce of comfort you could muster.

It didn’t take him long at all to sink into the embrace and return the action. Beyond the point of concerning himself with showing the pain he felt -or the wetness now soaking into your shoulder when he placed his forehead against it- he sniffed and finally allowed the tears to fall once again as fresh waves of emotion surged throughout his body.

And this time, he couldn’t keep the whimpering to himself.

“Shh~ It’s okay, it’s okay,” you soothed, lightly patting and rubbing along the scutes of his shell as he weakly sobbed, finally letting go of all the sadness that gripped him.

You weren’t even aware of what was wrong, and you most likely wouldn’t find out til later once he calmed down, but right now, he just needed you to hold him. Hold him until the hurt was gone... And so you would.

AND THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

ALL THE FEELS!! I EMBARRASS!!

OMGosh, this turned into a monster! The mother of all HCs!! :O No seriously, this wasn’t meant to be this long! I was suppose to squish all four into one itty bitty little post, but then it just grew... and grew... and GREW! Personally, I blame the Reader Bonus but I’d be damned if I didn’t enjoy writing it! ;P You guys here on Tumblr got me slightly addicted to them and have wanted to attempt some myself so... Anyhoo~ I can’t really say if I’m entirely content with the whole thing, I dunno. I feel some parts are better than others (writing style-wise) but yeah, I really need to get back into the swing of things...

Speaking of which, I DO plan on adding my two cents on the other bois as well, but judging by how this one turned out, they’ll most likely all be this length, more or less, so each Turt will get his own post so I can really jot down those details with all the freedom in the world! That being said, I can’t say when they’ll be added but hopefully soon-ish. :) Raph's next on the list!

Thank you all so much for the read and hope you enjoyed~ :D

~Drag0n Mistr3ss’ Random Fandoms*

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1055

surveys by lets-make-surveys

1 - Surveys aside, do you use Tumblr for any other reason? Not anymore. I used to have a main blog, but it’s been years since I opened it; this is it (excuse the bad word in the URL lol, I thought it made me look like an edgy teen) but as I got older I used it less and less frequently until I no longer remember the password to log back in. These days I stay on Tumblr precisely because no one really uses it anymore, so it’s the perfect spot to hide this blog in.

2 - Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Do you update them all regularly? Depends on what you mean by a lot; I have all the basic ones - Twitter, IG, Facebook, YouTube, hell I still even have my Snapchat alive lol but I haven’t used it in like three years. I use YouTube the most but I don’t update it per se, like I just use it to watch videos. Facebook I’ve used a lot less often since the breakup, but I’ve shared a handful of posts since September. I’m probably on Twitter the most, but even then my usage hasn’t been the same.

3 - Does it bother you when your socks don’t match? What about your underwear? I don’t care for either situation, especially for underwear. Why would I care about something no one is ever going to see and even think about?

4 - How many times a year do you go on vacation? Do you tend to go to the same places each time? My family plans at least two trips, at least in non-Covid circumstances. We will sometimes repeat provinces but we never repeat hotels or sites, and we seldom repeat cities. The only places I remember visiting more than once are Baguio, Tagaytay, Albay, Subic, and Baler.

5 - How many times did it take you to pass your driving test? Just one. I could not afford to fuck it up; I was at the LTO for 8 hours and was not willing to go through that shitty long wait, so I absolutely had to pass that exam and do my best with the shitty car I had to work with.

6 - When you’re in trouble, do your parents ever “middle name” you? Nah they never used my whole name. My mom’s trademark is to add an -ah sound to my name when I’ve done something wrong though, as in Robina lol. That’s a sign I should know I shouldn’t have done what I did, whatever it is.

7 - Which family member do you look like the most? Which one do you resemble the most in terms of personality? People are always shocked to hear my mom is actually my mom and not my sister, because 1) we look very much alike, and 2) she looks young for her age. As for my personality, I’d say I’m a perfect split of my mom and dad. I exhibit an equal amount of traits they both have and I can’t tell which one I act like more.

8 - Have you ever been arrested? Never.

9 - Do you prefer Apple or Android? Apple. Would rather pay more than be stuck with an interface, camera, and emojis that I personally don’t like.

10 - Does getting sweaty or dirty bother you at all? If so, has it ever put you off doing exercise? I don’t sweat a lot, so I really do hate it when I feel beads of sweat on my temples or when the back of my shirt starts to feel damp. It doesn’t have anything to do with my feelings about exercising; I don’t like working out, period.

11 - Have you ever broken a bone? What were the circumstances that led to this happening? Never happened, hope it never happens.

12 - If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be? I wish I didn’t get the hairy gene so that I didn’t have to shave too much; my hair to be a little livelier and bouncier; and my front teeth to be straighter.

13 - When was the last time your computer crashed or froze? is this something that happens often? It must’ve been around a month ago. It just got too busy, so it froze for a few seconds. My laptop’s a trooper and doesn’t crash/freeze a lot.

14 - Do you ever have problems with your sleep? It’s mid-sleep I’ve been having issues with; I get nightmares almost every night. I don’t have a problem falling asleep as I’m able to do so pretty quickly.

15 - What was the last thing you ate for breakfast? Is this a normal breakfast meal for you? Angel sent over a small box of chocolate chip cookies as a Christmas gift so I’ve been enjoying that :) I’m currently having it with warm coffee. My normal breakfast is no breakfast, so this is a treat for me. Before this I also had to eat my leftover Chapaghetti that I couldn’t finish last night.

16 - Have you ever thought about how you want to spend your retirement? That has not come to mind a lot, actually. I think more about death than I do my retirement...but this question tells me I should probably take a few steps back. I’d simply love to live in comfort with the person I end up growing old with. For now, that’s all I see myself wanting.

17 - When was the last time you got a new tattoo or piercing? Do you have any plans to get either in the future? A little less than 22 years ago; my mom had my ears pierced when I was a few months old. Haven’t gotten any new ones, nor tattoos, since. I’d love to have a couple of tattoos. Some of my ideas are two pawprints for each of my dogs, a plate of nachos, and lyrics that are personally meaningful.

18 - How would you describe your personality? Oof, what a loaded question. Hmm, I guess I’d generally label myself as hardened until I get close with someone? I’ve always kept a wall up and as friendly and extroverted as I can be, I don’t enjoy letting just anyone in. I value my personal and private space, and it’s important that I don’t lose it.

From another angle, I also like to keep doing nice things for other people, even at the expense of my own happiness and comfort. I have to keep making people happy to keep me pleased with myself and the world. Maybe it’s rooted in the fact that I’m the eldest daughter in an Asian family? Idrk, but all I know is that I’ve never had a problem putting other people first.

19 - Have you ever heard of “hygge”? is this something you enjoy or participate in at all? I have no idea what this is and I’ve never come across this word before.

20 - What colour was the last vehicle you travelled in? Does this vehicle belong to you or someone else? White. It’s the car that was given to me for college, but when all is said and done it’s not mine.

21 - Would you describe yourself as healthy? Why or why not? In some senses yes, in other senses no. I don’t exercise or actively watch my diet, and I certainly eat too much junk; so proactively speaking, I’m not super healthy. But generally, my gene pool has been pretty fortunate with health. Other than heart conditions that run in certain branches of the family, we’re relatively a healthy bunch.

22 - Would you describe yourself as messy or organised? Is this something you would like to change? It’s a balance of both. I’m very organized at work so I allow myself to let go in my personal space, like my closet and car. I do clean up from time to time and I still like my space to be neat, but I’m not as neurotic as I normally would be with my workspace.

23 - Do you miss anything about being a teenager? If you are a teenager, what’s your favourite thing about it? The innocence. It was a period of being ideal, being a dreamer, being as romantic about life as I wanted to be. It was also a period where you were allowed to make mistakes, because fucking up when you’re younger lets you off the hook. These are the biggest things I miss, but I don’t really find myself pining for my teenage days. I still like where I am, even if things are realistically a little duller in adulthood.

24 - Are you patriotic at all? Why/why not? No. It’s hard to be when your country is shit.

25 - Have you ever had to wear a white lab coat before? Was this in school or for a job? Yeah we had lab coats in Lab class in high school, but they were green. We also needed safety goggles, and if I remember correctly if we had neither of these things we had to sit outside and skip out on the session.

26 - Would you ever want to do the same career(s) as your parents? I can see myself going down somewhere in the secretarial path like my mom as I’m good at organizing things and keeping internal affairs in order, but I don’t know if I would find it fulfilling. But in general, I wouldn’t want to be in the hotel and restaurant industry. I don’t have any attachments to it and I’ve always felt like I belonged in media and communications.

27 - Do you believe in aliens? Is there a reason why (or why not)? Yes. For the most part, it’s more comforting to think and believe that we’re not the only beings around.

28 - Which animated film would you most like to live in? Does it have to be a film? I’d love to be in the Fairly OddParents universe and have fairy godparents of my own.

29 - When was the last time you got into an argument? Have you made up with that person yet? Gab. I don’t know. She’s ignoring me.

30 - What are you going to do now this survey is over? Take another one.

1 - Have you ever had your computer or e-mail hacked? Did anything bad happen as a result? No but I had bad viruses on all of my Windows laptops before. The worst virus I got involved my laptop typing out some long-ass Vietnamese paragraphs for me at the most random times. It was like a horror movie lmao. Every time I Googled the text I never got any leads from it, so I never knew what it meant or what the virus was.

2 - Do you prefer the company of people or animals? I don’t really have a preference when it comes to these two because their companionships are individually different. I like that animals can be playful and sweet; but I also like cracking jokes and having meaningful conversations with people.

3 - Are you a religious person? Were you raised in that faith or did you discover it a later date in life? I was born and raised Catholic, and still legally am. I never saw the appeal of the idea of being saved or of reading the Bible or anything that has to do with Christianity; and the idea of praying was weird to me even from childhood. A lot of Christians/Catholics I know are hypocrites anyway, and to me that says a lot about their mindset when it comes to religion.

4 - When was the last time you went to the beach? What did you do there? August 2019. My friends and I had a day trip to Nasugbu so we could have some fun before the semester started; we mostly swam and caught up with one another. August is a low season so we literally had the beach, the pool, and the poolside bar to ourselves.

5 - With all the COVID restrictions in place, would you feel happy/comfortable travelling abroad right now? Why/why not? I’d be happy, but not comfortable because of the swab test I would have to take hahaha. The selfish part of me is itching to go to other places already. I know my parents would put a million roadblocks to keep me from getting on a plane though, so me traveling is purely theoretical.

6 - How would you describe your dress sense? I like wearing flattering pieces but nothing too flashy or bright. I get items that are currently in style and make sure they match with the rest of my wardrobe, but at the end of the day I still like to blend in with the crowd and avoid neon colors, flashy labels, or whatever it is that would make me stand out.

7 - Do you wait until the sales start before you buy non-essential items? I never really pay attention to sales. It’s led to some pleasant surprises, like the other day when I was looking for a gift for my aunt. There was an H&M purse that caught my eye and it was so pretty, but way above my budget. I decided to get it anyway because that aunt throws amazing Christmas parties over the years and gives us lots of money, so I thought it could would be my way of giving back (especially since her company got hit hard by Covid). Once I got to the cashier the register showed it was like 60% off, even though there were no stickers on it and there was zero promotion anywhere in the store.

8 - What kind of milk do you prefer to drink (if you drink it at all)? I don’t drink milk, but I’m able to consume it in other dishes. I haven’t tried any types other than whole milk.

9 - Do you prefer blonde hair or brunette hair on your preferred sex? I don’t have preferences when it comes to hair color. We’re not really conditioned to consider this factor, since Filipinos have black hair.

10 - Would you be embarrassed to own the same clothing as one of your parents? No. I borrow stuff from my mom all the time. My sister also borrows some of my dad’s t-shirts, at least the ones that can fit her.

11 - When was the last time you wore some kind of fancy dress? Like...a gown? I’m not too sure. It must’ve been Alena’s debut three years ago since that’s the last fancy party I went to.

12 - Do you enjoy dressing up (ie. in suits or smart clothing)? When was the last time you did so? I like dressing up and making myself look cute, but dressing up formally not so much.

13 - What’s worse - being overdressed or underdressed? Personally, underdressed. I’d rather look too prepared than looking as if I didn’t care to look decent for whatever event I’m headed to.

14 - What do you think would be the worst thing about being stuck in solitary confinement? Not having any options or activities to do.

15 - Have you ever owned an unusual or exotic pet? Would you want to? Nope. I would not want to have one. Unusual pet is just a euphemism for animals that shouldn’t be pets.

16 - How old were you when you learned to tie your shoelaces? I was 5 and had to learn it for a test in kindergarten.

17 - Do you enjoy decorating for the holidays? Sure, it makes me feel festive :)

18 - Would you rather go into a restaurant or just go via the drive-through? These days it’s more wise to use the drive-thru, but to be frank I’ve missed dining in. I would opt for the restaurant but make sure to follow safety protocols in the area.

19 - Do you like having your teeth cleaned at the dentist? I’ve actually always found trips to the dentist soothing, even as a kid. The only time I ever really freaked out was when I went last year to have a tooth removed and I was told that I needed an anaesthesia shot on my gums; even then, I didn’t even feel anything when it finally happened.

20 - Have you ever had a gun drawn on you before? Maybe? My cousins and friends and I doodled on each other a lot as kids.

21 - When was the last time you went to a petting zoo? I’ve never been to one and idk if I can go to one.

22 - Do you bite your nails? Could you physically bite your toenails if you stretched enough? Sometimes I’ll gnaw at my nails and then scrape them off. I’ve found it more satisfying than biting them all the way off. I could definitely bite my toenails, but I choose not to.

23 - How old were you when you first started using Tumblr? Have you had the same blog all that time? It wasssssss 2010, so I was 11 at the time. Nah, I deactivated that blog only after a year of using it and then I shifted to a wrestling blog.

24 - Are you a fan of practical jokes? If I’m watching celebrities pull it on another celebrities, yeah. Most of the time I get anxious that the recipient would react negatively, so I don’t watch a lot of pranks.

25 - How many years older and younger than you would you consider dating? Is this a concrete thing or would you make an exception for the right person? It will still depend on the latter condition, of course; but theoretically I would like to keep seeing people my exact age. No more and no less than the year 1998. Growing up with relatives in such close age to me makes me feel like I’d be dating an older cousin if it was someone a year older, and my sister if it was someone a year younger.

26 - Who did you vote for in the last US elections? If you’re not in the US, who would you have voted for? I don’t live in the US; I would have voted for Biden.

27 - Are you a fan of reddit? What are some of your favourite subreddits? Sure. I don’t visit it as much as I used to, but I still go on there when I’m bored and in need of entertaining or educational content. r/AskReddit is a classic fave of mine, but I also go on r/interestingasfuck, r/todayilearned, r/mildlyinteresting, r/dataisbeautiful, r/SquaredCircle, and r/goodmythicalmorning. Sometimes I’ll visit the r/AmItheAsshole sub as well to have some fun lol.

28 - Have you ever watched those YouTube videos of people popping their own spots or zits? Do you find them gross or fascinating? Not those, but I’ve looked up earwax extractions and blackhead removals before.

29 - What’s a food you hated as a kid but love now? How about vice versa? Chicken curry is probably my best example because I’m obsessed with all kinds of curry now, whether it’s Indian butter chicken, Thai green curry, or Japanese curry. I didn’t understand the complex flavors as a kid, but I’m got to appreciate more and more as I got older.

30 - Do you prefer socks, shoes or going bare foot? Idk, I feel like all these choices are useful and convenient in their own different situations? I’m barefoot when I’m at home but put on socks when it’s chilly, and I wear shoes when I’m outdoors.

#survey #surveys

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hollyand-writes · 4 years

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5 Questions (fic meme)

I was tagged all the way back in December 2019 by the lovely @kagetsukai – thanks so much! ❤️ Sorry that it’s taken me, um, 7 months to get around to doing this! I think at the time I was feeling a bit too low about my writing (and, frankly, fandom) back then to be able to answer any writing memes, but I’m back on my bullshit now so LET’S DO THIS! 💪🏾

I tag whoever wants to do this! 😃

Let’s talk about “A Chance Engagement”, my Regency AU Carver/Merrill multi-chaptered longfic!

1) What was the idea that started the story?

Two things: The first thing was this post that made me wonder what Carver would look like marching around in tight Regency breeches, and that got me thinking of all kinds of scenarios where he’d be marching around in them (also please have my bad Photoshop art. Thanks @fragilespark for enabling me, haha!).

The second thing was that not long after, @lucyrne was one of the randomly-selected prizewinners for the @carvermerrill blog giveaway when it reached 250 followers (random fun fact: it now has 366 followers; not bad for a rare-pairing!) and she gave me the following prompt:

...I think what I'd really love is a prompt that involves them dressing up for some reason. Like going to a ball and actually getting to enjoy it instead of thwarting assassinations or fighting dragons ...

After I asked her if a Regency AU would be OK with her, she replied:

I was thinking something canonverse, but if an AU inspired you go for it.

And, um, three years later, here we are. (I’m so sorry your blog giveaway prize has taken this long, Lucyrne!)

2) Did you make an outline? Did you stick to it?

Kind of? I mean, I’m following the plot of Pride & Prejudice (the novel version, and maybe sort of the 1995 BBC adaptation) for the most part, especially with the main pairing (Carver/Merrill) and one of the other side-pairings (the Wickham/Lydia equivalent), but there is another subplot going on with F!Hawke/Isabela (i.e. Marian Hawke) and their secret romance which is very loosely based on their Dragon Age 2 romance arc, although it won’t exactly follow that arc.

I tend to make a very loose and subject-to-change outline for my longfic after pantsing a few paragraphs/pages to get some thoughts down and some scenes out of my head, but then I start to string things together by coming up with some sort of plot to include the scenes in, and that’s what I’ve done here. I’ve got a list of bullet points of plot points I need to cover overall, and then I drill down deeper into each chapter and what they will cover every batch of several chapters. I haven’t always stuck to those more detailed chapter-by-chapter outlines, but I have stuck to the overall plot outline.

3) What’s the favourite part of your story?

A certain rejected proposal that happened in Chapter 41. I was laughing about that for at least a year before I was finally able to release the chapter – it was so hard sitting on that plot twist for so long!

4) Who is your favourite character and why?

Probably the Arishok. His sole purpose in the fic is to just turn up and ruin everything, LOL. I’ve also really enjoyed writing the De Launcets, as well – writing the bitchy sisters Babette and Fifi and their brother Emile with his shit chat-up lines has been great, they’re just my favourite disaster family and writing their meanness has been fun.

5) Did anything happen that surprised you as you were writing?

I was actually surprised that the de Launcet sisters ended up having as big a role as they did, and that there was so little of Emile. I was also surprised at just how long it would take me to get from one plot point to another, that getting from plot point A to plot point B in my rough outline would take several chapters and a bunch of exposition and worldbuilding in order to build and complete the path there.

I am also surprised that I’m still going. I thought this would be done in like 15 chapters and 20,000 words?!? AHAHAHAHAHA I WAS SO WRONG but I’m also surprised that I’ve got a fic past the 60,000-word mark and that I haven’t flagged and that I’m still interested in writing and finishing it, even if I am slow!

The other reason I’m surprised I’m still going is actually because trying to write in a Regency style of English is really, really, really hard for me, and I don’t always enjoy doing it, even though (paradoxically) I really enjoy writing this fic???? despite my feelings about the style I write it in??? I can’t really explain it. It kind of feels like I was meant to write this fic, somehow, and I think so far it’s the most “me” out of all multi-chaptered fics I’ve publicly released to AO3.

The BIGGEST surprise I got, however, was that this longfic would be as loved as it was/is, and that I’d have so many lovely, awesome, wonderful people reaching out to tell me how much they love my fic and look forward to each update ❤️ Back when I started, I only had like 3 readers, and out of those, only Lucyrne was a regular commenter of mine – I remembered being disappointed at first, but then I thought “eh, this is the story I want to write, and I love diving into this world and this AU so I’m going to finish it even if Lucyrne ends up being my only reader”. So I stopped worrying about my lack of audience and just... carried on writing it, just for the sheer fun of writing it.

I was genuinely not prepared at all for so many readers to discover my longfic somewhere around Chapters 9 to 15, and to come along for the ride with me. But I appreciate it and love you all. Thank you all so, so much. 😘❤️

#5 questions #five questions #tag meme #thanks for tagging me!#long post #also #tagging this as #carver x merrill #merrill x carver #hollyand writes #carrill #a chance engagement #for blacklisting purposes

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asocier · 4 years

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interaction guide for leah!

last edited: april 6th, 2021

leah overall is a very, very flexible muse, and while she’s mostly an uwu muse, she’s not always ( e.g. potty mouth, kind of aggressive/possessive with certain muses, has “kick your ass” energy even though she’s like 5′1 and cries over everything, is very lewd and can be very forward at times ). i tend to have a lot of fun with her because she’s so dimensional, but below are some good points of entry if you’re stuck or need inspiration!!

“are you finding everything alright?” — threads that take place at leah’s workplaces ( i.e. the university bookstore or delight, the adult store ); a great way to break the ice since shopping can allow for casual conversation, big or small! retail work can be very strange as well, so there’s a lot of room for some interesting scenarios that can leave a lasting impression for leah to remember your muse by in the future. not every interaction in the adult store has to be sexual or sexually charged, either, so feel free to have some fun with the setting!

college/university setting threads — being a university student that lives on campus in the dorms ( canonically, anyway; there’s always room for divergence! ), most of leah’s waking hours are spent doing something related to her classes or social events happening on campus. she’s usually not a big partier, but when surrounded by the right crowd, she can easily be roped right into wild parties. though she’s not the type to let herself get wasted; chances are, she’ll be the one taking care of your muse! college is full of possibilities when it comes to shenanigans, like some real wack ass shit can happen, so below are just a few general possibilities for plot ideas. studying abroad has also been my default way of sending leah out of the country, so if your muse has to be in a different country to make a storyline work, i gotchu! your muse:

takes the same classes as leah and befriends her because they sit next to her in class, are partnered up with her for an assignment, engage in group discussion with her regularly, ect. can also just be a brief meeting like an exchange of compliments ( “that’s such a cute top!” “thanks, your pencil bag is super cute, too!” )

is leah’s roommate ( plotting required since it’s canon that she lives alone!! but housing situations change frequently during college so it’s not a huge problem, just gotta work out the details )

is the teaching assistant for a class that leah is taking, so she come to them for help on assignments ( or vice versa: leah is the teaching assistant so she grades your muse’s assignments/tutors them )

a tutor in general that leah can turn to for help in exchange for cash or a different kind of payment ( food, advice, ect. this doesn’t have to be a dirty thing alksjdlkjsad )

met leah at a party and now the two of them are just party buddies or just always get into trouble whenever they hang out and party together

celebrity/idol + fangirl; city meets country; wealthy meets poor threads — oh my god okay so listen; i really enjoy the idea of “opposites attract” with leah. like the idea of meeting a muse who is a higher status than her socioeconomically, socially, or just comes from a different background than her ( hence city meets country since leah was born in an urban area, so interacting with a muse who comes from a small town would be the opposite of her ).

anyway, leah’s the type to be really into pop culture, so keeping up with celebrities, idols, youtubers, whatever would be a past time for her, and then meeting them in real life would make her lose her shit. being in a relationship of any kind with a celebrity would make her lose her shit, and considering she lives in los angeles, it’s possible to run into one for the sake of a plot.

socioeconomically, leah’s considered low-income, maybe lower middle class ( but considering how vast the “middle class” actually is, can we really say ). as such, she’s very conscious about how she spends her money, so meeting a muse who is very well off financially would be an interesting dynamic. she always jokes about being a sugar baby or like, being a trophy wife so she doesn’t have to work, but whether that’d actually happens depends on what happens when she meets a muse with the means to make that joke a reality.

anyway, leah teeters on the edge of being a gold digger but she probably won’t be. it’s just fun to pair her up with wealthy muses because they live such a vastly different lifestyle from her usually that she’s like “what”

sexcapade threads ( 18+ muns only ) -- leah is a very sex positive muse, and as such, a lot of her interactions can be smutty. taking into account her sexuality, hook-up culture on a college campus, and her freedom away from her parents, quite a few plots ( and their variations ) can happen rather easily. it’s important to note, though, that i prefer to write smut threads that either have some sort of plot to them or can lead to further development in a relationship. writing smut can get boring real quick if nothing new is introduced, but i’m okay with plotting out intimacy privately! also, sex does not always equal romance, so romantic feelings may not always develop between leah and your muse. if you are interested in shipping our muses romantically, please let me know! otherwise, i’ll assume they’re just in a casual type of relationship.

one night stands

friends with benefits

tin/der, bum/ble, or other dating apps/sites dates or meet ups

just gossiping about respective sex lives

first time meeting threads where it’s literally just leah and your muse getting it on is also acceptable, though some plotting might be required depending on the muse.

verse/au/wishlist plots — i always love a good au. love, love, love my aus. below are a list of verses that are already “premade” on my blog that that you’re welcome to work with. i’ll go ahead and link leah’s verse page as well in case you want to read up on the basics. i do have a wishlist tag as well full of plots that may or may not work with leah. you’re definitely not limited to the verse page or the tags; if you have an idea, please don’t be shy to reach out to me! like i said, leah is very flexible. all i ask is that you respect her as a muse and don’t be weird with her. i get that she’s a very sexual muse but please ... respect her.

angel verse — this verse is probably one of leah’s most used verses, and important details about this verse can be found here, here, and here! i highly suggest you read these posts bc a lot of her mannerisms hinges on what’s laid out in these posts, and of course you’re always welcome to ask questions if you have any!! angel verse is a good place to begin if your muse is also another supernatural creature, and considering angel leah has no qualms about visiting other realms like hell, it’s very possible for her to meet your muse one way or another.

influencer/idol/celebrity verse — considering how big on social media leah is in terms of her constant engagement with it, plots that involve her being an influencer are right up her alley, and collaborations with other muses who fit into this category are a great way for leah to interact with them! while i don’t have an official verse up for this category yet as of 04/06/21, leah’s very flexible when it comes to what she can do if she gained social media status, but what she’d most likely do involves modeling, acting, and being on youtube or streaming.

high school verse — high school leah is very different from main verse/college leah in the sense that she’s a lot more reserved and is a lot more closeted about her sexuality. she’s still very enjoyable to interact with, but what sets high school leah apart from canon leah the most is that there’s a more prominent struggle and confusion regarding her spiritual views, and dating her in high school is almost like a chore since your muse will have to jump through hoops in order to date her if that’s something they want to do. in high school verse, leah canonically only has one boyfriend in her senior ( final ) year, but as always, i welcome divergence. your muse is even welcome to be her high school boyfriend if we plot things out ( spoiler: her high school boyfriend was a real asshole ). high school shenanigans are definitely more tame than college shenanigans, but this verse will be good for slice of life plots ( hanging out after school, doing projects together, decorating for the school dance, prom date, applying to college, ect. )

miscellaneous plots — finally, here are some classic plots that i always love with leah. they don’t really fit into the other categories, but these are plots i don’t mind doing over and over and over again because they’re never always the same each time i write them, and these plots make leah happy too :’)

mom friend/big sister leah bc oh my god i love her with kids so much, but also she’s incredibly doting towards close friends she cares a lot about so yeah call her the mom friend™

in the same vein, pls hire her to be your main babysitter. she’d appreciate it so much bc college is so expensive

beach threads!! aquarium threads!! ocean threads!! pool threads!! leah enjoys water and ocean life, so any thread where these elements are involved really get her going. i don’t care how often she’s been to the aquarium or beach, she’ll go again.

take her on trips with you!! she loves traveling and really like the idea the freedom that comes with traveling around the world

#cw: long post #tumblr fcked up the formatting disGUSTING #wishlist;#anyway i edited and added to this so pls give it another read if you'd like!!

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askaceattorney · 4 years

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Dear AnthonyDeadman,

Co-Mod: I actually never heard of Fate/Grand Order before those letters started being sent. I haven’t had the chance to explore it in-depth, but so far I’ve found the characters (or at least the sender’s portrayal of them) to be quite intriguing. That sounds a lot like the characters from another game I love, in fact. What’s it called again...?

Anyway, I’m glad you and others have enjoyed the FGO character letters, and I’m with you on the idea of the sender starting an ask blog of their own if they can. You do a good job bringing them to life, whoever you are.

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: Thanks! I personally don’t mind answering letters from the same person, but I do recommend sending no more than three per day. I know it’s tempting to get in as many letters as you can while they’re still in your head, but please don’t forget to be fair to your fellow letter writers.

Also, as I’ve mentioned in the past, letters that ask the same question to multiple characters will be deleted past the third one. Be sure to spread them out if you want them answered.

The Mod: Co-Mod got it. It’s sort of an unwritten rule, actually. Feel free to write in as much as you like, but leave some space between your letters. Give other people a turn. Pretend it’s arcade etiquette of the 90′s. On a related note, if you want multiple characters answering the same letter, that’s fine, but pick a handful and stop there. After a while it just becomes spam. It all comes down to imagining what you’d like to see from other people. You want to see your letters answered and you don’t want to see the same letter repeatedly. Let everybody play!

Dear chanto-love,

The Mod: I had a couple in my heyday; one for Rhoda Teneiro and one for Luke Atmey. I just got enough letters for them to fill an entire day, so I just made small events out of them. As for waves of popularity, I don’t recall anything too substantial. The main cast members tend to get more mail, obviously, but side characters are peppered in all over the place.

Co-Mod: I remember that happening once with Vera Misham. There was also a string of letters to various PLvsAA characters (even one that was removed from the game). It’s fun to let one character have the stage for a while, but again, please keep your fellow writers in mind.

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: Nope, it’s just a matter of time (in fact, your letters should be posted by the time this is). As I’m typing this, there are 1050 letters in the queue, so it takes about a month for a letter to reach the bottom and get posted. I happen to like fan art, by the way, so thanks for sharing it!

(Previous Letter)

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: I don’t, sorry to say. I assumed it was made by the sender, and that they made it by turning his evil grin upside-down. As someone who knows how tough sprite edits can be, I have to say nice job to whoever made it.

Dear Beholder,

Co-Mod: I’m in full agreement, except for the part about making Redd White look smart. He has them both topped in the narcissism category, but I’d say Redd takes the stupidity cake by far.

I also agree that L’Belle’s plan was flawed at best, but I imagine he spent more time making his precious hair dye than plotting out an effective murder/framing/theft scheme. Speaking of which, that had to be his dumbest decision -- going through that whole mess instead of thinking for one second about SELLING THE FLIPPIN’ HAIR DYE! That might’ve easily made a huge dent in his debt, but thanks to his narcissism, we’ll never know.

Dear skibot99,

Co-Mod: I’m slowly going stir crazy, but other than that, I’m staying healthy. I hope the same can be said for as many of you as possible. As for April Fools’ Day, I’m typing this about 30 minutes before the event started, so there you go.

Mod Kristoph: As a college student, this feels like an extended vacation that somehow doesn’t feel like a vacation. Still, it isn’t hard for me since I’m an introvert.

Dear Inferno,

Co-Mod: No need to apologize -- I can’t blame you for wanting to send a bunch of letters during that event (I even sent one myself), but I still had to follow my self-imposed rule of not answering more than three of the same question.

Dear ajanisapprentice,

Co-Mod: There are times when I get a little fed up with certain types of questions, but I don’t mind dealing with them to get to the fun ones. I don’t get tired of the antics, considering how many I’ve pulled in the past.

(DANG it, should’ve seen this coming...)

(Previous Letter)

Dear BadnesstheHuman,

Co-Mod: Thanks for letting us know! You can resubmit the letter if you want, otherwise I’ll just leave it alone. I’m just glad you've been able to find some joy when you needed it here. It makes me feel like this blog is more than just a hobby for me. I’ll give it my best shot!

Dear Anthony,

Co-Mod: Sorry you weren’t able to send that, but here’s this as consolation:

That’s pretty much the face I made when I read that idea.

Dear skibot99 again,

Co-Mod: Thanks a bunch! This idea was mine, but we usually brainstorm about what we want to do for holidays. I’m glad this one worked out, because I was a little afraid it would result into a tidal wave of extra letters, and...well, it did, but at least it was a manageable one. Thanks for your help with them, Mods!

Apologies to everyone who has “Popipo” stuck in their head, by the way.

-The Mods

#AnthonyDeadman #Anonymous #chanto love #skibot99 #ajanisapprentice #BadnesstheHuman #iamnotthensa #Mod Post #The Mod #Co Mod #Mod Kristoph

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diabolikmosquito · 4 years

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Tag Game because I have no self-restraint

@the-mostdiabolik-of-lovers posted this one with permission for anyone to tag themselves so obviously I’m gonna take it and run. My asks are empty and I’ve been craving ask games and surveys lately, sue me. Putting it under a cut so I don’t clog anyone’s dash!

Gender: Female Star sign: Taurus Current time: 8:15 PM, though it’ll prolly be later by the time I finish typing this all out. Favorite song artists: Don’t make me choose. A lot of my favorite music is instrumental OST’s, though an instrumental artist or two that I love are ones like Jami Sieber, Brambles, Otto A Totland, and Joep Beving. For non-instrumental.. there’s a lot. Ellise, SYML, Nico Collins, Frank Sinatra, and Bohnes are a few I’ve had in some playlists lately, but there’s way too many. Favorite songs: This is harder than the last one and I am not obligated to answer it. (’: But if you’re someone who reads my samples or threads, you might find some of my favorite OST’s/mood musics that suit the post/hint at something hidden in there. Song stuck in your head: Again, these change so often daily it’s hard to pick one, but a handful include A Little Messed Up by june, Dance Monkey (the slowburn edit), and way more OST’s than are healthy. (Highlights for that include the original Medievil soundtrack, which for some reason reminds me of Castlevania at times.) Last movie you saw: Birds of Prey! I almost didn’t go due to not feeling great, so I’m glad I bucked up and saw it with some friends. Last thing I googled: If you ignore the numerous Castlevania-related things in the last 24 hours, then it’s “cat keeps sneezing.” If not, then it’s “castlevania vampire generals” because being totally frank, I didn’t even know the generals with no lines in the first two seasons had names until recently. Other blogs: I haven’t been on it in ages and actually forgot the password, but once I get on that I’ll get back to you. xD Do you get asks? Not really, but I stick around for the people who’re kind enough to take that interest! I keep all the ask/rp prompts tagged neatly in links on my profile so if someone new comes by one day and wants to interact, it’ll be easy for them to. Reason for your url: The original concept for Pepper was very much a mosquito-like cryptid created for a certain purpose, hence the mosquito. The diabolik part is because I originally joined Tumblr to find a community for Diabolik Lovers (due to some other writing sites being very.. standoffish if you don’t write canons/don’t exclusively write gay ships), but now it’s just all kinds of vampire hell. Once I actually get into some more vampy verses you can bet I’ll be writing/reblogging stuff from those as well! and yes I am looking for more recommendations in that vein (heh, puns) if anyone has some. Average amount of sleep: Erm.. 3-12 hours. During the week it’s about 3-5, and weekends is sometimes my “catch up” time where I still stay up quite late, but actually sleep in to let my body get some rest. Lucky number: It’s always been 9, and it tends to come up a lot in odd places so I might have to stick with it. Currently wearing: An old super comfy high school t-shirt and shorts, complete with a coat of long hair courtesy of my cat who was just laying on me. Dream job: Honestly? Still figuring that out. I’m going on a clinical psych track at the moment, but I’ve been doing a bit of soul-searching and testing to see if I’m actually strong enough for the therapist/clinician route I was originally after. I just don’t know if I’m strong enough just yet to settle into a job where I could very well have to help abusers in their early stages, something that I have no doubt will be upsetting to me personally. I’m a bit of an empath at times so it’d be excellent for the job, but I also feel I’d take it home with me which is dangerous. I don’t feel like I’m smart enough for psychology research on regular basis, though, so I have some thinking to do. Thankfully I’m still getting my bachelor’s so it’s not like I’m hard-pressed to immediately figure it out. On a lighter note, smol me was very much convinced I would be a marine biologist due to my love of the ocean and my skill in scuba diving, but that evaporated when research told me they travel nonstop and frequent travel makes me anxious Dream trips: I’ve been on a cruise a couple times and the experiences were honestly life-changing for one odd reason or another, be it how that time had me interact with my family and the things I got to see and experience. There’s a strange sense of freedom, even though you’re mostly confined to a boat. I’d love to visit Ireland and Germany since it’s where almost my entire family come from and often the landscape is beautiful, and since our culture’s kind of been watered down after a few generations living here I’d like to connect with that. Favorite foods: I have like 2-3 cups of tea in a day and keep exploring all kinds of new types, so that’d probably be it literally. Ones that I idealize in my head though wheeze would probably be things like steak, or scallops, or a specific kind of ice cream shaved ice thing I had once that legitimately made me tear up because it was so good. Play any instruments? I tried to pick up the coronet in grade school since my dad played the trumpet and I thought it’d be fun, but I had some trouble memorizing the order of notes for songs, and it all kind of fell apart after an instructor dented up my instrument with a drumstick and tried to refuse to apologize/pay for it. (Yes, seriously, but that’s a story for another time. xD)

Of course I’ll pass the blessing and say anyone who wants to do this absolutely should, but I’m also gonna tag @sherbetcoloured , @natacular , @lachrymosestorm , and @l-e-w-d-y (provided they’d like to do it, of course)

#yes this is a shameless excuse to feed my questionnaire addiction and yes i'm sorry #ooc

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toloveawarlord · 4 years

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Author Interview

Eeeek! I was tagged by @alloveroliver and @claire-maccarthy Thanks for the tag!

Name: My blog name is listed as Ruka, but my real name is Bekah so you can call me either. When I first made this blog, I wasn’t comfortable sharing my name online but now, I don’t mind.

Fandoms Now:

Ikemen Revolution, Ikemen Sengoku, Ikemen Vampire, Obey Me, Nightmare Harem, Several Shades of Sadism, Midnight Cinderella, Romance MD, Star Crossed Myth, Kings of Paradise, Scandal in the Spotlight, Kissed by the Baddest Bidder, My Wedding and Seven Rings. Probably a few more that I’ve got on my phone and log into once in a blue moon.

Want to do in the future:

Any of the Cybird games (they own my soul and wallet), So many voltage games I plan to start in the future, too many to name.

Where you post:

Mostly tumblr but I have an Ao3, Fanfiction and wattpad account (under the name moriartyswife)