ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi Em, I was wondering if you can help me figure out my mbti please. First of all I want to say I'm glad you're still around here bc I left for a couple of years and now can barely find active typology blogs. A few years ago I was very chaotic and unhealthy and you told me to come back to typology when I had more life experiences and my brain was fully developed so now that i'm 25 years old I'm back. I think i'm an NFP but i'd like you to confirm that or suggest another type please. (1/7)

One of my biggest struggles during my adult years has been career wise. Right now I'm a new grad nurse and i chose this career because it was supposed to give stability plus i was told it was one of those careers that were going to keep growing in demand. But it burned me out too much and i hated every second of it. I only stayed in it because it aligned with my values of helping people for a living. Now i'm thinking of going into debt to study a second career that is not so stable but i'm passionate about (psychology) bc i have something to fall back on financially anyways. I have other options like going into business, law, linguistics, and i can't make up my mind. All the feedback i've gotten from others is that i'm not much of a practical person. I thought i was just having some sort of midlife crisis but apparently is not normal. I think this suggests lower Te? (2/7)

Another thing that to me suggests low te is during my college years I struggled a lot with discipline and organization. It took me a lot of effort to take up my gpa, had to follow a lot of studyblr tips lol and strict rules to achieve that. I think I have Fi because my values are very important to me, to the point that I disrupt the environment, I'm the talk about abortion in family dinners ruinning the mood kind of person. And although I love people I struggle with being inauthentic and pretending to like someone when I don't (3/7)

I'm very much of a textbook introvert, shy and get drained when spending a whole day with a group of people and need too much alone time. But also in relationships i've struggled with being codependent and it sounds contradictory but i can't bear to be without them more than a week, I enjoy speaking out about my ideas and even in my "alone time" I contact internet friends to talk about the things that interest me (4/7)

The function that I struggle relating to is Ne due to lack of creativity and brainstorming abilities. I know Ne is more than that but I think I use it more in an unhealthy way? Like daydreaming to escape from my problems, being unable to stick to only one life path like the career example I gave above, feeling stressed after too many years of routine and wanting to leave everything behind. Oh but when my boss asks me to come up with creative ways to talk about STDS with my patients, i can't really come up with anything. I enjoy abstract conversations (about philosophy and spirituality / esoteric stuff mostly) and get bored in normal day to day conversations with my peers. But in my job i prefer something that is practical and doesn't require much brainstorming (5/7)

I think I have lower Si because I struggle a lot with letting go of the past ways of doing things, very catastrophic thinking of "I tried this before and it didn't work so it's not going to work now". Also trouble forgetting people, way more than normal. I like routines and I get stressed when my environment changes too much. But i'm not exactly a structured person, I'm up to last minute plans (6/7)

Finally I don't think I have Se just because I'm very disconnected from my environment in a extreme way, i'm the type of person that falls a lot due to not noticing obstacles in the way, not noticing when the shower is steaming hot until many minutes later when my skin is burning, etc. And Ni thinking is very linear for me, I feel like I very much have a monkey brain and can't stick to only one idea. Can you please help me? I hope this was not too long thank you! (7/7)

----

So I must admit, this is still pretty chaotic and it feels like it focuses largely on weaknesses, rather than strengths, which still makes you difficult to type. While I am (still) not a mental health professional, my first thought is whether you've ever been tested for ADHD or similar just because you talk about wanting a stable, practical, uncreative job and enjoying routines, but also being forgetful, unaware of your surroundings, and not being pragmatic as a person. While it's entirely reasonable for a high Ne user to want stability in what they do, healthy high Ne would likely gravitate towards a stable job with some degree of brainstorming involved. Jobs like nursing, in fact, are often good for perceivers because it involves a lot of variety and spontaneity while still being a dependable career - though naturally not all perceivers would be happy as nurses.

I do think feeling seems reasonable, as does high Fi, but I am actually stuck on Se vs. Ne since either way it would be unhealthy. It almost sounds a little like an Fi-Ni loop to me - your feelings informing your idea of what your life should be without strong external input, an aimless desire for spontaneity but difficulty engaging with it mentally. But I would also at least take a hard look at ADHD, depending on how intensely your life is impacted.

#answered #1ndecisives #mbti

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hey , I hope you are doing ok. I assume asking to type isn't inconvenient.

I'm confused for my type as my mom and sister have a completely different view of my personality than my friends. What the outside world thinks of me is a bit different than what my family thinks of me.

I do love spending time with my friends and colleagues. I'd love to meet them on the weekends. However, I feel sometimes I need to prepare for social interactions.

I do love sports a lot. I love playing and following them. At the same time, I'm quite heads deep into sci fi and interesting concepts.

I know I'm a thinker and not really a feeler

Im not good at planning nor good at following a particular plan. I just do what feels fun at the moment. I hate sticking to one thing for a long time.

I'm not particularly detail orientated. I ignore/neglect details of my work and my personal life. I have a good memory nonetheless.

At work , I'm very task oriented and a bit short term in my thinking. I'm more result oriented than process oriented.

Can you help type me. I'm 25M , working as a game developer

Hi,

So this is somewhat difficult in that I've turned off the inbox for a bit since I really do not have the time nor do I care to do more than one or two typings a month, if that, at this point, and I got four or five in the past few days but: this is extremely vague and so it's difficult to type. If you have not read the FAQ, please do so, and if you have, please review it. I will open up the inbox again in a few weeks if you want to do a follow-up.

To talk through this in the hopes of guidance:

Pretty much everyone is different around different groups of people, and different groups of people will have different views of you both because your behavior depends on the context (how you act at work is not how you act with friends which is not how you act with family) and because they are themselves different groups of people with their own opinions and preferences.

Hobbies can be helpful to an extent if they are highly specific or unique or if there is a pattern (eg, all very outdoorsy hands-on, though even then hobbies can reflect lower functions that people want to explore in a low-stakes environment) but something as broad as sports and science fiction is not helpful since again, many, many people like these.

It is good to let me know what you think of your type; but ultimately that's only a small piece of what I use, since people can be wrong, and I need examples. What led you to believe you were a thinker?

The part about planning and not being detail-oriented is useful; you are more likely a perceiver (high Ne or Se) based on this. Task and results oriented is also somewhat useful, though examples as always help.

In general a very important part of typing, and indeed the premise of typology, is seeing what traits you have that are not very common. The foundational text was named "Gifts Differing". What makes you different? Focusing on that helps eliminate things like very common hobbies, or nigh-universal behaviors.

#answered #venuuntyped75 #mbti

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hey again!

Thanks alot for clear up my doubts related to my type, I've been juggling between the 16 for a long time.

A few follow-ups I wanted to provide:

1. I am not adverse to being alone at such moments, but it is generally more fun and enjoyable when you have someone at your side.

2. I myself am not sure about my mom's type, given I've been unable to type myself, but I'm fairly sure that she is a high fe user mainly because she is really nice to everyone. The type to go and meet the neighbours, introduce herself and help them if they ever need to be helped. She's willing to help anyone, even people she only vaguely knows.

3. I am inept at crafts and art but will participate in them if pushed eg. if my friend wants to paint with me. I will be hesitant at first and try to get her mind onto something I think we both can enjoy, but I have made some museum-worthy "masterpieces" due to her insistence.

4. During any argument, disagreement, discussion or debate I will lay out all the evidence I have supporting my opinion for the opposer to see. They can question them and I will do the same with the evidence and reasoning they provide. If they are unable to defend their opinion, I will consider my opinion correct but if I'm not able to defend my opinion I will revise it with what I learned in the discussion.

I tend to only voice my opinions on topics which I have formed an opinion on, by reading about them from all points of view available, unless the other person is being an idiot and unwilling to participate in civil and impartial discussion.

5. Back-up planning in the sense of if X fails I will do Y. If X does indeed fail in reality, I will most probably completely ignore Y and proceed to Z, which I hadn't thought about initially.

6. If I am invested in a project or task, I will be more process focused. What is the best way to proceed? What is the best way to present this? Where can I get the perfect data for the task? How can I fill all the information I can find into this project and make it look good?

If I do not want to do it, it is hastily clobbered together with paragraphs taken straight from wikipedia.

And I think that's all I missed or glossed over in the previous ask.

Hope this clarifies things.

:-)

Thanks! The specific thing I was curious about was argument style, and this to me sounds more like Ti; I think the desire to see all perspectives and a belief in impartiality as a possibility comes from there, which would make you an ESTP.

#answered #eheu-vae-mihi #mbti #estp

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi all, I am closing my inbox for the time being. I am going to answer what is already there, but in case it wasn't clear, this is no longer something I focus on and I have received multiple typing requests today - I can keep up if I get one typing request every few weeks or months as I have been, but this is already a busy week for me and I don't like things to pile up.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi Em,

Hoping you can help me figure out my MBTI and/or enneagram type or at least point me towards the right direction.

As a writer, I do a detailed sentence by sentence outline for a specific chapter I’m writing and overall rough outline for the book. In life and in writing, I can veer off the plan, but as long as I have that end goal in mind, I’m good. It’s like seeing a train light in the fog – you know it’s coming even if you can’t see it clearly yet. Writing for me is all about enemies to lovers, witty banter, power struggles and internal monologue just like my life lol. I write best when it’s episodic or shorter segments at a time. I also need feedback the interactivity from fans to keep me engaged.

With routine, I need some external push, like deadlines from work, classes, or events, to get me going. If you say by the end of the week, it will done early or on time. If you say by the 15th I procrastinate or it’s late. It’s weird how that works. I also need actionable tangible steps to things otherwise I’m lost. Cleanliness and organization are my jam, not because I love order, but because I love beauty. I trust my gut and intuition for the final say with my heart making most of the decisions. It has to feel right or I get physically ill.

Aesthetics are huge for me – I’m all about beauty, art, culture and hedonism. I love nature, animals, children, reading, solitude, the supernatural, the dark, the taboo, the mythical, spiritual, touch, excitement and adventure. Good sex, good convo, beautiful clothes, good food- 100% me. I’m into enjoying life’s pleasures, and I spend a lot of time making sure my appearance reflects who I am. It’s not about others liking me; it’s about them knowing what kind of person I am upfront and they can do what that what they will.

I believe in fate, but sometimes I get too passive, waiting for things to happen instead of making them happen. I prefer alone or with my partner vs others. I don’t like venting without having some sort of solution at the end, some sort of action. I get frustrated, and I’m like, "Ok, but what are you going to try to do about it?" Doing can be crying, talking, or just giving yourself some time to think. It just has to have an action.

I’m quietly ambitious and if I want it I get it. I hate complaining or sharing my problems, preferring to work through things on my own. But when I do reach out, it’s all about finding solutions, getting that step-by-step guide to hitting my goals. My emotions are private but I go nuclear if pushed too far. I’m not about revenge- that’s up to the universe and it takes too much patience and minute detail, which just isn’t me.

Socially, I’m a bit of an enigma. I’ve faced bullying, which makes me cautious in social settings, despite being quite good with people one-on-one. I’m not into trends or networking; it feels inauthentic, though part of me wonders if it’s because I feel like I have nothing to offer. Talking up my achievements feels awkward; I’d rather let them speak for themselves. I’m the person who sees the talent in others and isn’t shy about pointing it out.

I have to know myself 100%- I can’t move forward without it. Once I hit a goal, I’m done and onto the next, always striving for excellence. Competition motivates me, but I’m not cutthroat. I work at my own pace, based on my mood. I’m generally calm until I’m not, and then it’s zero to a hundred. I struggle to express anger healthily, thanks to having to bottle it up when I was younger.

I’m triggered by the following: being called over-emotional, needy, lack of personal space and control, group projects, noise for the sake of noise. I worry about wasted potential and not living up to my gifts and talents. Hate being a second romantic choice option. I am intense, nicer than I look. I’m great at reading people in person because I can get a strong feel for their energy, vibes and body language. But online-social media feels like a minefield where I’m constantly misreading or attracting the wrong kind of attention.

I appreciate it, Em

Hi anon,

I am fairly confident you are a high Fi user, and I think with that in mind you are likely an Se user - the aesthetic focus is one part, but also what you said about needing interactions to stay engaged with writing (whereas I'd expect an NFP to be sufficiently hooked on the conceptual aspect) seems likely. I personally think the topics that interest someone in writing are not really dictated by MBTI, but how one approaches writing definitely is. High Se is also, generally, the best in my opinion at reading people; there's an attunement to body language. My guess here is ISFP.

The part about needing a routine to ground you/procrastination without clear deadlines is more in line with perceiving, though plenty of things (eg, ADHD) can complicate that, and going through this in order it was that followed by the comment on inauthenticity that led me to high Fi. It sounds like you're an introvert in MBTI but fairly comfortable with people, which is not unusual for feelers - I know a decent number of ISFPs and they tend to be quite personable but ultimately prefer to hang out with only a few people.

The ambition aspect is interesting though - you see this in high Se, to be fair, but much less so in the Se-auxes than with the Se-doms. I'm wondering if this is a relatively new thing, especially if you're at a point where inf Te would be starting to deepen.

#answered #Anonymous #mbti

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi what do you mean by 800 characters? Is that 800 words for the ask? Trying to make sure I don’t go over before submitting

individual letters: most word processing programs will count them for you. Here's an example from Google Docs:

I'll admit I probably haven't been doing a formal check on characters unless an ask is super long; once the MBTI community on tumblr got much smaller and I stopped posting actively, this has not been a big time commitment the way it once was. In general it's a reminder to keep from rambling. It's easier and more pleasant for me to ask for more information about specific clarifications than to wade through pages and pages of irrelevant details. Thanks for checking!

#answered #Anonymous #description in alt text

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi Em.

I hope you are doing well.

I wanted to submit an ask about what my type can be, since I've spent a year trying and failing to type myself and I need someone else's opinion.

1. I do consider myself an extravert, and will be the one who initiates conversation if it gets too awkward. I like meeting up with friends, it refreshes me. Though I only have one really close friend. Being alone and doing nothing for a long time makes me sulky and irritable. The way conversations work with me is that I either get the other person started on a topic they like, ask a few promoting questions and just listen to them or if they are introverted and do not like blabbing to someone they do not know, I will talk enough to make them comfortable enough to contribute to the conversation. Sometimes just listening to someone talk to me make me feel better.

2. I have been told I need to work on my social skills, maybe because if I don't want to be friends with them or put someone at ease, I usually won't be very nice, just polite and maybe a bit curt. My version of polite is different from what my mom's version is, so I might come off as a bit standoffish. I'm not really sure about this one though.

3. With my friends and close friends I will make a fool of myself, say and do things I wouldn't if I were with someone else I don't know or if I were alone. Risky behaviour when with friends is common, as a way to impress them, maybe?

My close friend likes crafts but I do not have an affinity for them since they require alot of patience , and I am impatient. I would rather prefer to go outside and play sports with her, but she does not enjoy sports. Compromises are necessary. I do not like many team sports, but prefer individual ones.

4. I have also been told that I'm argumentative and do not accept that I am in the wrong easily. Not a really positive trait, and I will try to work on it. If I think something is stupid I will state it as such, but if it doesn't affect me in any way I will not speak up and let them decide for themselves. I do not have an opinion on everything, but if I do have an opinion on something I will defend it, otherwise live and let live.

5. When it comes to making friends, I will not be close with those whose interests do not align with mine much. Recently I was part of a group who liked to talk about clothing choices of themselves and other, and since I do not prefer such conversations, I distanced myself but am still friendly with them. Not much but we still talk sometimes. I have a few principles which govern my life, which are also quite flexible. I am nice to everyone, since I believe that what goes around comes around. I do not form immediate assumptions about the character of others, but if they have some or the other characteristic that I dislike, I will generally not try to be a friend of theirs.

6. I prefer getting decision-making out of the way, and also make backup plans in case things do not go the way I thought they would. I also prefer to remove things from my life that provide inconvenience. Many times people have been irritated when I suggested that if they are pondering too long about doing something or not, they should just not do it. If they wanted to do it, they would have done it without much thought. I am also trying to curb my tendency to do this, as it is not very nice. This has led to arguments in the family, since some of them are overthinkers.

7. I do not have a good memory and tend to make the same mistakes quite a few times before fixing my ways. I can walk into a room to perform some task but sometimes forget what the task was. I also have a bit of a laissez-faire attitude towards things in general. I think that I will not make a good boss or leader. Whenever I step up as a leader (only under certain circumstances) I will form an objective for the team, distribute the work and tell them to have everything ready before the deadline. I do not care how you do it, when you do it as long as it is up to the mark and before time. If I do not want to do something and think it is a waste of time, but it is compulsory to do so, the task will be completed last minute and will be somewhat on par with what is expected. I will not plan much into the future, but when I do it is usually a complex plan that collapses midway. I have also been told that I am quite charming when I want to be. Whenever I overthink or overplan it is futile, since my objectives will change midway through execution and I will deviate from the plan, guaranteed.

Lastly, my close friend says that I am smart, since I am able to tell her random facts that I had read once.

Any insight you can provide will be wonderful and I hope you have a great day.

Hi!

I am to be honest not sure. There's a lot of evidence for thinking and sensing, but while I definitely think you're a high Se user I also am not sure if Ti fits. This doesn't quite fit the warmth of an ESFP either, though that feels more likely than ESTP. Breaking it down by individual points:

I think the key here is being alone doing nothing: do you enjoy being alone if you're in a highly stimulating activity (eg, hiking, individual athletic activities)? If so, I wonder if you're an introvert in MBTI with high Se, which would mean you still need a lot of external stimulation.

The main thing this tells me is that you're probably not someone with high Fe; I don't know your mother's type so I can't really make that comparison but this could fit high Ti or the Fi-Te axis generally.

This is fairly typical behavior generally in terms of being more open and willing to take more risks with friends than with strangers. This again is strong evidence against high Fe, as high Fe users often will be much more willing to engage with other people's interests and also tend to prefer team sports, but I could see any of the other judging functions.

If you have some more specific examples, especially how you would structure an argument, that would help!

This is the point where I felt high Se perceiver was the case, so I don't think high Te at this point, since high Te users are likely to come to a judgment more quickly.

This again feels very high Se - get out and do things. Se users are also fairly pragmatic. You mention backup planning here, and that gave me pause for a moment, but the next section clarifies it a bit.

This is where I get a little stuck: I am confident in high Se, especially in that your planning needs to be loose and allow for improvisation rather than tightly plotted and in that you tend to procrastinate uninteresting tasks. The way you delegate feels very much like Te vs. Ti: that it gets done is far more important than the particular methods. However, I think it's also possible that if you are an Se-dom and don't care for leadership, while you may have specific methods for yourself you don't want to spend the time imposing those on others. Socially, it's interesting because it feels a bit more like Fi but usually ESFPs tend to not be terribly curt - they might be blunt but they tend to be fairly social and definitely team players. I suppose the other possibility is that you're younger and your Fe is still developing as an ESTP, or that you are an ISTP who happens to be more outgoing.

Hope this helps and feel free to follow up, especially regarding what topics you tend to argue about, and how you tend to argue - I think that would provide the most clarification on your judging functions. But I am confident in high Se!

#answered #eheu-vae-mihi #mbti

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

(1) Hello Em, I hope you’re doing well lately. I want to ask about my MBTI and Enneagram. I consider myself a people person, meaning that I will go out of my way to get along with other, have fun with other, and make them feel comfortable with me. For example, when I’m with carefree university friend, I will often crack jokes that I know will make them laugh, even mocking our more wrathful lecturer if I’m sure it will bring chuckle to them. However, when I’m with more contemplative friend, I will do my best to keep up with their mind, taking their thoughts and ideas with concentrated thinking, then giving my own opinion and reflection about them. I admit, the former is easier to do than the latter, but both are equally rewarding to do since they’re my friends, and I want the best for them. Of course, there’s time where I feel more selfish like usual, like when my mother pressured me to do something that doesn’t seems right or comfortable for me, I can lash out and rebel, but eventually, I will back down and do what she thinks is correct. Even with their flaws, my family and friends are important, and I want them to be happy.

(2) I also find myself to be quite nostalgic and keep hanging on the past like baby monkey hanging on their mother. I believe that human is a creature of trial-and-error, which is why I think it’s crucial to remember the past mistakes I did in order to not repeat it. One of my mistakes I remember is 2022 ago, when I’m having group work with mostly non-cooperative friends, it makes me learn that I need to either work on my effort to push workmates so they want to participate in group or be more confident to report authority figure about it.

The other much more severe mistakes I did was my failure as community service program group leader, where I initially manage to communicate well with my groupmates about preparation for the event, but eventually become a recluse who pull back program that was planned to do together without any discussion due to stress and creeping feeling of incompetency. We manage to salvage the situation and did the program in the end, but I’m still thinking about it, how my selfish decision lead catastrophic result, how I really need to communicate more with other, and how I should have representation to express my thoughts and feeling should that me difficult to do. One of my friends said that it is something that already happened long in the past and I shouldn’t stop feeling bad about it, but I disagree. If I forget how terrible it was, it will slip from my mind, and I won’t be able to learn anything from it.

On lighter note, I do have tendency to associate songs with certain place and time, like how this melancholic song is fitting during roadtrip after listening it so often in car.

Those are all things that I find important and all-encompassing within me. Thank you for taking your time to read this, and I apologize for the imperfect English.

----

Hi anon!

Based on this my guess is ISFJ or ESFJ: it sounds like you tend to ultimately go along with the expectations of others, and you tend to reflect people's own behaviors and habits back at them and adapt pretty intensely (Fe). Your tendency towards a trial and error/past-based mentality sounds like high Si. I also associate music with specific places, so this might be Si - but it also might just be a thing people do. (and a plurality of people are SJs anyway). I am not entirely sure which you are. Your anecdote about the group project definitely sounds like it could be either an Si-Ti loop (indicating ISFJ) or it could be a Ti grip (ESFJ) but it also could just be high stress.

I am not sure about enneatype from this but I would look at 2, 6, and 9, all of which are very common for xSFJs. Based on the group project anecdote 6 disintegration to 3 in that scenario is one possibility.

#mbti #isfj #esfj #enneagram

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hello, Em! I was hoping you could help me out with mailing down my type. For background, I’m in my mid-twenties and am waffling between Fi-dom and Fe-aux. I’m cautiously calling myself and enneagram 9w1, but I’m sure of being an introvert, I’ve always been quiet and need time to regroup after spending too much time out and about. I tend to be fairly practical, taking a job I strongly dislike because bills need to be paid and I’d like to finish grad school with as little debt as possible. (1)

It doesn’t stop me from looking for a job more closely related to my field, and I’ll be honest it wears on me more than I’d like to admit, but it keeps the lights on for now. I’ve always been a very sensitive person, and it doesn’t take much to make me cry, when I’m invested in something, or I must deal with conflict. My dad would list my biggest weakness as being a bit of a pushover and taking on responsibilities that were never mine to begin with.(2)

I’ve always been spotted by bosses as reliable and because of this have been the one to pick up the slack in some positions. Despite this, I struggle to blend well with my environment. I can be polite, I can be quiet, but I can’t lie. Whenever people ask, it’s hard not to come out and say what I really think. If it’s someone who knows me well, I can generally just say what’s on my mind, but at work and with friends who aren’t as close, I have to bite my tongue. (3)

I’d say I’m a creature of habit, for the most part. I moved cross country a couple years ago, so it’s still a bit hard to gauge, but changes in routine (such as suddenly switching workstations or being asked to go get drinks RIGHT NOW) throws me off. For all that, I tend to get a little low when I’m not learning something new. I’ve taken up several new hobbies and interests because of this and have learned the basics of them all quickly. (4)

Most of them have been sensory hobbies, such as baking, knitting, and crochet. They also serve another purpose, as it’s a tangible way I can show my appreciation for those around me. It irritates me a little to have people ask me to make them things, because it’s not so much the tactile sensation that I love, it’s being able to keep those I care about warm and fed. If there’s anything else you need, I can fill this out more, and thank you so much! (5)

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Hi anon! This definitely sounds ISFJ to me. 9w1 also sounds reasonable:

Difficulty with conflict is definitely a 9 thing and so ISFPs who are 9s experience it, but it's very common with ISFJs. The taking on of responsibilities is both very Fe and Si, and aux-Fe users do have a bit of a reputation for being something of a pushover. The part about struggling to change routine is also extremely true to Si, as is the practicality.

Sensitivity is imo not super tied to any one function - I think feelers tend to be more outwardly emotional in general than thinkers but I've known very emotional FJs and FPs. I also think that difficulty lying is more a personal thing than tied specifically to MBTI.

As for learning new things - hobbies tend to be a place where people can explore their lower functions safely! I suspect taking on sensory hobbies (within your comfort zone) but in doing so, learning something new and developing a new internal and systemic understanding (Ne and Ti) is what appeals to you.

#mbti #answered asks #anon ask #isfj

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hello Em, I couldnt find if you do the DnD typing anymore.

If yes what would you say about a ENTP 9w8 972. I am a cop who doesn't work anymore as a "normal" cop but instead in the IT department. I study alonside my work Esportsmanagement. Before my regular work I had a training in IT aswell as a retail clerk.

I like gaming and travelling. In my childhood I played a lot of sports (football/soccer, tennis and some different martial arts. Nowadays I try to keep me fit but I dont do actively sports anymore.

As you can see I try alot of things and want to learn more about myself and the world. Like an ENTP I have difficulties with repetitive tasks.

Even if the dnd typing is over and you disregard my question. Thank you for reading this and having an awesome blog :).

Hi anon, I haven't been doing these for years and to be honest I've lost interest - at the time I didn't have a regular d&d game so it was a fun outlet, but now I do. Glad you like the blog though!

#answered #Anonymous

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi Em, that was so helpful! Confirmed I’m a ISFP- I do that hesistant then quick to react process so quickly I didn’t even realize I hesistate at first lol!

Referencing: https://www.tumblr.com/ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is/722047398903463936/hi-em-i-know-that-im-either-a-isfp-or-esfp-im

So glad it helped!

#Anonymous

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi Em, I know that I’m either a ISFP or ESFP. I’m thinking I’m probably an ISFP but I just wanted to be sure. What suggestions would you have for how I can I figure out if I’m Fi dominant or Fi auxiliary?

It's generally hard to tell between the extroverted and introverted versions of the same general function stack so usually I advise considering whether you're extroverted or introverted in the general "recharged by people" sense (not a perfect equivalency, but more often than not true) and by looking at your tertiary/inferior: are you more comfortable with Ni, or with Te?

Another thing to consider is if you jump into things right away and figure them out as you go along (dom Se with aux Fi) or if you do need a brief period of self-assessment/check-in first (dom Fi with aux Se).

#answered #Anonymous #mbti

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hey, Em! I’ve been confused about my type for a while now (leaning towards ISFJ and INFJ, though), so I’d appreciate having your take on this. If it helps, I’m a 641.

- I naturally fall into routines and I quite enjoy them. If I feel the need to do something different, I’ll do it, but I don’t mind repetition if I enjoy it. I’m also very practical when it comes to resolving problems, prefering easy solutions. If I finish what needs to be done quick, it means I’ll have more time to relax later.

- I usually don’t plan too far in advance. I see my future as a big question mark, but I like to think about the possibilities it may hold and am somewhat optimistic about it, feeling that things will work out in the end (even if I’m anxious about the present circumstances).

- Still talking about future plans, I do not see myself as future oriented. Sure, I enjoy entertaining ideas and daydreams, but I do not necessarily intend to make them come to life. It would be amazing if they did, but just thinking about them seems quite enough for me, since I do it must for fun and to cope with reality.

- I’m a little bit of a perfeccionist: I like to achieve ideals settled by my own mind and I’m quite good with details. I try to pay close attention to the process, so I don’t have to revise my work later.

- I’m not into leadership/telling people what to do, but I like to have control over my personal situations, so I’ll usually get things done by myself and, usually, I don’t even consider asking others for help.

- My emotions are intense and all over the place, if I’m feeling something or if something happens to trigger my emotions, I’ll probably make a huge deal of it for a while, but, once it’s gone, I go back to my “neutral” state. That being said, I usually can’t hide emotions for the sake of others. Since they’re too intense, I can’t help but let them burst away.

- I have a hard time dealing with different opinions, specially when it comes to things that matter greatly to me, so I naturally seek consensus.

- I place a lot of value in relationships and I spend a lot of time idealizing them. I feel that I “need” a certain amount of people in my life to feel fulfilled, just then I’m be able to focus on other goals.

- I fall a little on the impulsive side, mostly because I don’t spend a lot of time considering the consequences to my actions. I actually have a deep fear of getting into trouble because of that (it happened before), so I tend to avoid action when I’m feeling that way (then, I feel miserable because I’m not doing anything, so it’s a cycle).

- I also tend to be businesslike in conversation. I appear very serious and formal, specially when I first meet someone.

Thank you!

Hi anon, ISFJ seems very reasonable - your discussion of seeking consensus and intensity of emotion (and the fact that you were fairly sure about high Fe) all point to Fe, and the fact that you are more pragmatic and are not intensely future-focused makes sense with high Si.

#answered #Anonymous #isfj #mbti

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi, Em! I was wondering if you would help me find my type. I know I’m definitely a feeler and an introvert, and I think I use Si/Ne over Se/Ni. But, I’m torn between which one is stronger, and whether I use Fe or Fi. Some of the main complaints I’ve gotten from my family are that I tend to make snap judgments about people (which soften over time) and that I can be a bit of a pushover. For example, when I was a teenager, an immediate family member was diagnosed with some health issues (1/7)

and ever since then, I’ve taken on quite a few of their responsibilities. It didn’t feel right that others should have to give up their plans when I knew perfectly well that there was nothing for me in the town we were living in at the time. The same went for dating for a long time. I already knew that the man I’m going to marry didn’t live in that state, so why waste my time? I had better things to do than go out with guys just for the sake of it. It wasn’t until after I moved and met (2/7)

someone (albeit not how I would have chosen), that I even considered a romantic relationship. That attitude is largely why my mother has always considered me the more practical of my sisters; even though I don’t always share my opinions, I’ve always had a mind of my own, and it’s hard to blend. I can be invisible, but I can’t blend. For all that, I can be incredibly sensitive, and take comments by my close friends and family to heart, even when it’s not intended to be taken seriously. (3/7)

I can be INCREDIBLY conflict avoidant, and usually if I’m in a meeting or situation where I strongly disagree with the general consensus, it’s hard not to just quietly keep doing what I want until I’m noticed. When people do ask for my opinion, and I know that they really want it, I can give it to them pretty plainly. I’ve also had friends tell me that I can be surprisingly pragmatic about some issues, especially if I feel like I already know the answer. But, when I’m still making up my (4/7)

mind, it can be a bit more hazy. I can fall into rabbit trails, and even though I’m one of the more practical of my friends, I don’t always get the point across concisely enough for some. It’s not intentional, it just seems as though the more we start talking (or writing) about something, the more I see different ways of looking at it. I have several hobbies, but tend to stick to rather “mindless” projects within them. For example, I enjoy crocheting, but I like to stick to things like (5/7)

scarves or blankets, so my hands are busy while my mind is free to focus. The same with baking, I don’t have the patience to spend all this time on decorating. It’s just going to be eaten, anyway. This tendency has led to some frustration from my dad, who is always pushing to beat his own records. I’d say the people that drive me nuts the most would fall into one of two categories, those who are overbearing and arrogant, and those who are charming at the cost of their sense of self. (6/7)

I almost didn’t become friends with someone who is now one of my closest friends because of this. He was so charming and complimentary, I had a hard time believing he was sincere! Hopefully this is the right information you need and has enough examples, thanks!! (7/7)

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Hi anon! I actually think you’re an ISFP.

I think most people make some degree of snap judgments about others, but high Ne users are typically the exception. Being a pushover is common for a lot of introverts who are feelers, especially when younger.

The second part is where I started to think Fi, because while you’re doing things for others it’s very much motivated by your own interests - I don’t think you would have put people first in the same way had you been living somewhere where you had more to do for yourself. Having a mind of one’s own is true of everyone but individualism is often associated with high Fi, as is difficulty blending in.

Sensitivity is often true of feelers in general, and conflict avoidance is pretty strong in the perceivers - IxFJs can be conflict avoidant but often that’s the high degree of overlap with enneagram 6 or 9. The fact that you will give your opinion and have a reputation for pragmatism feels very indicative of Fi and Se to me as well.

I think the part about going down various paths is interesting but what stands out to me is that you don’t really do this automatically, the way a high Ne user does; it’s something you find through doing and engaging higher thinking. The same goes with hobbies; it sounds like you’re interested in the experience and the tactile, but not the extra aesthetics or out of a sense of competition.

The clincher for me on Fi is the dislike of charming at the cost of self; that type of charm is something I associate heavily with Fe, so this feels like you don’t use that. Which in turn is what made me seriously consider Se in the end. I’d also note this just doesn’t feel like an Ne writing style, which is never to be fair a guarantee - people often think through their questions and edit them - but this has a directness I tend to see with the Ni-Se axis.

#answered #Anonymous #mbti #isfp

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

How do you tell whether someone’s behavior is an expression of an inferior/tertiary function or a higher function in a person that is not well-adjusted? E.g., someone catastrophizes about future possibilities frequently (this isn’t just a one-off moment of low mental health), is that higher Ne in someone who is not super self-actualized or just low Ne?

You can't, at least not in isolation. You can figure it out by seeing if you can observe high Si/extroverted judging function for low Ne users vs. high introverted judging functions for high Ne users, but this could be anything from general anxiety (ie, an ongoing mental health condition that will have frequent catastrophizing) to the typology configurations you mentioned. You'll need other evidence to type accurately.

I will note though that I think catastrophizing is overstated as a low Ne trait; I personally experience much more of a "burn everything down and start fresh" unhealthy seeking of novelty feeling than catastrophizing.

#answered #Anonymous #mbti

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi, Em! I wonder if you could help me figure out my enneatype. I’m probably a heart type, but I’m having a hard time deciding which one fits better. Thanks for your time!

 

I grew up as an insecure kid, so I used to (and still do, tbh) dream about the moment things would finally take a turn for the better. I’d indulge in fantasies where I’d return to my hometown years later, looking better than ever, just to prove a point to others. To make them envious.

 

My relationship with envy also started when I was pretty young. I saw my colleagues being prettier, having friends, and having lives I wanted for myself. I guess that my revenge dream comes from the wish to make people feel about me the same way I used to feel about them. I learned how to control my envy once I got older (I’m currently in my mid-twenties), but I still struggle to not constantly compare myself to others.

 

I’m about to finish college right now, and I’m scared. I’m afraid that once I finally start to chase my dreams and focus on my career, I won’t be good enough. I’m afraid that people will continue to see me as a failure, as someone who didn’t make it. Ever since I got into this crisis, I’ve been avoiding to act. I got into a comfort zone, where I feel like not acting at all is a better option than doing so and not ending up in this perfect place I idealized. As an example, I tend to avoid posting things on social media because I’d rather be seen as "mysterious" and "low-profile" than risk being seen as someone not as interesting as I’d like to be.

 

I also feel like there’s a constant battle going on inside of me: one side pushes me to be good, to do the "right thing", to be a "good person," because that’s what I’m supposed to do if I want to be loved; the other side just wants to prove everyone who underestimated me in the past wrong, it wants to become the queen bee who everyone’s envious of. In the middle of this mess, I can’t seem to figure out my true desires. Do I really want to be at these extremes, or would I be able to find peace somewhere in the middle?

 

Finding love is also one of my main motivations. Of course, I do have this idealized vision of the "perfect" relationship (one that would also make people envy me), and yes, I want to make an impression, but I also want to love and be loved, deeply and truly. I don’t want my significant other to think that I’m a bad person just because of my attention-seeking tendencies. When I care about people, I care deeply and honestly, I know I have pure intentions towards those I care about —but "good" people shouldn’t focus so much on how others see them! It all ends up with me blaming myself for seeking attention, then trying to be good/perfect/better, then realizing that I want to be perceived a certain way —and the cycle repeats itself on and on.

The overwhelming desire is wanting to elicit envy and to be impressive and an ideal, so I would absolutely say 3. The fact that your stress response is to stick in a comfort zone and not act also points to this, as a 3 disintegrates to 9. I think a 2 wing and a 1 fix somewhere in there would cover the fact that you do also very much want to be loved for being good, and to be good in the abstract. I'm not sure on your head fix though.

#answered #Anonymous #enneagram #enneagram 3

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hello this is the irritation anon. Thank you so much for your answer! I did consider 6 and 5 for a long time but I could never relate to the overthinking of head types. My actions are kind of just impulsive and i just sorta do them, dont really think about them. As for 9, i related to their thing about wanting to maintain a sort of internal peace. I like to be relaxed most of the time and left to my own devices but i find myself quick to anger/irritate which is why i questioned being a 9. Everything I read says 9s are often very hard to irritate and will take a long time before they explode or get very angry. I feel as though i start to get angry or irritated the minute my peace so to speak is disturbed. I dont always act upon it explosively but act enough that I have been told i can be a bit confrontational. I have a lot of moments where I let things slide or be pushed around a bit until I sorta decide "actually yknow what" and stand up for myself. I thought 6 for awhile but everything talked about security and anxiety and I never could really relate to it. For possibly 1 or 3, I have often been told as well I'm a bit harsh on myself and dont let my own faults slide but Im not exactly ambitious or anything. I think I will re-look into 6 and 5 more carefully as well as 1 and 3. Thank you for responding and I hope this is a bit more clarifying!

Hi anon, thanks for the follow-up! I would actually still look at 6, far more so than 3 or 5. It's not inconsistent with most MBTI types, ie, there are ISTP 6s who are to a degree impulsive but also REALLY often want to be left alone. I suspect the irritation is much more based in significant introversion and independence and not necessarily enneagram, though being easily irritated does conflict with 9.

#answered #Anonymous #mbti #enneagram