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#And then early on in high school it was like what there’s this series ABOUT volleyball
starswallowingsea · 3 months
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every time i've gotten into a popular series or franchise i've always been disappointed by it because like. its so hyped up and i watch it and find it mid and it appears we are not watching/playing the same thing
#reasons i wont like. get into ace attorney or fma or anything else#and by popular i mean like. ubiquitously popular. like an 'everyone at least knows of it' type#like ik enstars is popular especially in asia but in the west its a lot more niche#for whatever reason one piece is more niche ime than naruto or bleach despite arguably being bigger and literally still ongoing#and then jjk. god help me jjk is awful now#i was going to say idk if jjk is at that level but i've had easier times finding merch for that than some series here#so its certainly up there.#umu not to say its not good but i just find them being so hyped up leads to a lot of disappointment especially#since i didnt get into them at the same time as everyone else ie during formative times in my life#in middle/high school so it holds a completely different context for me being in my early 20s#anyway. idk where i was going with this. im not not into popular media/anime specifically#obviously. i run a semi popular one piece blog.#but compared to other things i am certainly less drawn to popular series#and find the uber popular ones have. declined in quality recently#what is going on in bsd even these days i should catch up. no i shouldnt. someone tell me when kouyou shows up again#the only redeeming thing in that series is my beloved kouyou you dont understand#and chuuya but mostly kouyou#but if its not just me and 20 other bloggers on this godforsaken site then i dont want it#shay speaks#again this is. just about my personal taste dont try to take this out of context so help me god
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undyinglantern · 17 days
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kuroken you will always be special to me
#It’s so strange how nonexistent hq is in my life now#Bc as a kid volleyball had always been the only sport I cared about#Like I actively had a disinterest in every other sport vs would get super excited at the opportunity to play volleyball#And then early on in high school it was like what there’s this series ABOUT volleyball#And like shipping was a big thing in the community for this series even back then#So I was always the odd one out going into it because of my predisposition of already liking volleyball#But anyways back when kinning was a big thing around here I even contemplated being kenma kin#Because of the being alone and reserved not really speaking with other despite his clear passion for video games which he can never talk ab#About* with anybody#And just being like man I wish I could have a kuro to reach out for me#But anyways even outside of those 2 specifically there was also how insane oikawa never reaching his dream WRECKED me#I was so broken I made a whole essay post about it even though oik wasn’t my fave his passion was still fascinating to study ykno#And on top of that like. Hq was the first series I ever bought OFFICIAL merch of#I bought a couple fanmerch keychains before but like with hq I bought official ones which are more expensive by default ykno#But also a towel and some plushies and even a mug and actual clothes (a plaid button up shirt) which was hella overpriced#And now it’s like. Well. Hq sure was a big thing for a time of my life. Not this part of my life though.#It just feels so distant and detached idk it’s just strange I have no lingering attachments unlike other series you’ll see me bring up from#Time to time on here (tg and se mainly) and it makes me wonder why I don’t have that same attachment here
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nereidprinc3ss · 2 months
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do you believe me now? | 2
in which fem!reader is feeling insecure about how inexperienced she is around spencer's friends and seeks his expertise to amend the problem
series masterlist
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: inexperienced reader, oral f receiving, (MUNCH!SPENCE RETURNS), fingering, (very) insecure reader, softdom!spencer, sub reader, nipple stuff, kinda sorta implied age gap, god i'm probably forgetting things pls lmk if i missed something important a/n: i've been laboring at this bad boy every day for so long i had to immediately post once it was completed lol. there will be a part three ... maybe i already started it ..... anyway i love u guys and i hope this is a satisfactory part two!! PLS lmk if you liked it!! hearing from u makes my day :')
When Spencer dropped you off at Penelope’s apartment for your first girl’s night—the hostess had promised you, JJ, and Emily lots of gossip sans 'icky men'—you had been ecstatic. You wouldn’t stop rambling to him about how excited you were. 
When he picks you up two and a half hours later, he can hardly get a word out of you. 
It’s not his fault, of course—well, not really, anyway. It’s just that all the girls had wanted to talk about was sex. A topic on which you held very little expertise and had essentially nothing to contribute. Out of the four, you were the only non-FBI agent, the youngest, and undoubtedly the least experienced. It was like high school all over again, except you actually desperately wanted to impress Spencer’s friends. All in all, you weaseled your way out of sharing without giving away that you were still very much a virgin. Sure, you could have said ‘we did hand stuff two weeks ago’, but you had a feeling these women wouldn’t consider that very impressive. 
But you can’t easily relay that information to Spencer—even when he immediately picks up on your sullen mood. He asks you what’s wrong as you make your way down the echoey staircase, but you hold back, muttering something along the lines of we’ll talk about it later. 
Later doesn’t come on the sidewalk outside. It doesn’t come in the car, or at any point during the twenty minute drive, but you feel it rapidly approaching as you climb the stairs to Spencer’s apartment. He unlocks the door and holds it open for you, doesn’t speak as you kick off your shoes and wander aimlessly into the living room.
“Did you eat?” He finally asks, hanging his keys on a hook by the door and glancing over to where you linger in the center of the room like a ghost. 
“Not hungry.”
You both know that wasn’t the question, but he lets it go. 
“Alright... well, I was thinking—“
“Why haven’t we had sex?”
The question flies from your mouth before you can stop it. It tastes like metal and you wish you could take it back as you stand there, cheeks hot and awaiting a reply. It seems you’ve thoroughly astonished Spencer as he gapes at you like a fish out of water for several silent moments, eventually opting to shove his hands in his pockets and shake his head at the wall as he processes the question. 
“I… I don’t know. We just haven’t. Does that bother you?”
Suddenly your whole body feels intolerably warm. Your fingers twitch against your thighs. Of course it bothers you. 
“Do you just not want to? You aren’t attracted to me like that?”
God, you despise how fragile your voice sounds—how much you obviously care, how insecure you clearly are. Spencer picks up on it, despite your most fervent wishing that he wouldn’t, and approaches, stopping a few feet away. You stare at the span of oriental design on the floor between your feet. 
“That’s not at all what I said, angel. I wish you wouldn’t put words in my mouth.”
“Well, then… say something else,” you plead quietly, childishly, still unable to meet his eyes. Prove me wrong. 
He sighs, which does not bode well for you. You wonder if you accidentally triggered the early demise of your relationship and christ do you wish you could rewind. When he steps closer, when his hands find your arms, you’re not sure where to look. But the low, sweet tone of his voice entices you to finally meet his gaze, charmed like a snake as his eyes dart between yours. 
“You know that’s not how I feel.”
You shake your head earnestly, looking up at him with wide eyes as he slowly rubs your arms. 
“No. No, I don’t know that.”
Spencer frowns, glancing at your lips as he speaks. It’s impossible to not do the same when he’s standing so close. 
“But I’ve told you. I don’t understand how you couldn’t know how far from the truth that is.”
You think back to two weeks ago—the first and only time he’d ever done anything more than kiss you. A different kind of flush replaces the shameful one in your cheeks as you try to make your case and not get distracted by the memories of his hands all over you.
“So why won’t you prove it?”
It’d been intended to come out cool, but instead you sound a little desperate, a little out of breath as you realize you and Spencer somehow ended up so close to each other you can feel the warmth radiating from his body. 
“Is that what you need from me? More proof?”
He speaks so lowly, his fingers press into the flesh of your arms portentously, and you think maybe you’ve poked the bear one too many times. But you won’t back down now—not when you think you might actually get what you want. 
So you look up at him and nod, throat too dry to speak. His eyes are deceptively soft, but you don’t miss the big bad something lurking just beneath the surface of the placid hazel. 
“And how do you think I should prove it?”
“I told you what I want,” you whisper, speaking above your pounding heart. 
“Not tonight, honey. Choose something else.”
“Well—that’s not fair,” you stammer, “the whole point is for you to want to have sex with me.”
Spencer smiles a little, tucking hair behind your ear. “I do want that. I promise you I do. But there are other things I want us to do first.”
“Then I want to do that, too! I just—I don’t know what I’m doing, and you do, and I’m already out on a limb by asking for this much. I know this is what I want but I need you to take the lead here. I trust you, Spencer.” You top off the monologue with an imploring gaze—hoping it delivers even a fraction of the impact that his puppy-dog eyes always have on you. 
He seems to study every square inch of your face as you wait in suspense for him to say something. At long last, his lips part—to no avail for several more seconds as he regards you. 
When the words finally do come, they’re an immense relief of pressure. 
“You’re going to promise me that you’ll communicate honestly. That means telling me if we need to slow down or stop, or if you don’t like something—”
“I promise,” you say, perhaps over-eagerly, offering him your extended little finger. 
An incredulous smile narrows his eyes. 
“Is this a pinky-promise?”
“It is.” You wiggle the finger in emphasis, and he shakes his head, smiling wider as you link pinkies. 
“I left you with Garcia for far too long.”
You shush him, disentangling your hands to cup his jaw and press your lips to his. It’s sweet and smiley until it isn’t—until everything slows down like sticky molasses and his hand is ghosting over your cheek, your neck, the curve of your waist, finally substantiating itself on your hip—the other encouraging you to tilt your head back as he deepens the kiss and you feel yourself melting under the heat of his touch. 
The pressure of his body against yours builds until you’re forced to take a step back, and then another, and another. Without question you allow yourself to be herded toward the bedroom, walked slowly backward as he keeps kissing you and blindly trusting he’ll make sure you don’t run in to anything. The bedroom door clicks shut behind him, and it is in all practicality a pointless gesture—but you find it incredibly comforting nonetheless.  
It’s too warm beneath your sweater and his hands are cool as they slip under the hem, sliding against the curve of your hip. Spencer’s never seen you without a shirt, you realize, as he pulls away from the kiss by only centimeters.  
“Off?” he mutters, thumbing at the knit fabric. And while you’re far from confident, you’ve certainly been making progress in this area. You help him tug it over your head without a word, noting a distinct and surprising lack of terror within yourself as you watch for his reaction to you. Hands glide slowly up your waist and you find yourself enchanted by the slight furrow of his brow, the parting of his lips. He traces down the lacy edge of your bra, skimming sensitive skin as he goes. 
“Pretty,” he murmurs. “You’re… so pretty.”
It seems you’ve rendered him uncharacteristically prosaic. The reaction might be underwhelming if it were anyone else—but Spencer Reid is a man who probably knows every synonym for pretty in the English language. Looking at you, he can’t think of a single one. In an odd way, it’s the highest compliment he could pay you. Your cheeks heat and your stomach flips as he drags a knuckle up the center of the cup, and you can feel it through the layers of lace and fabric. He leans forward, ghosting his lips over yours and continuing to run his fingers over the sensitive spot. “Do you know how pretty you are?”
This is one argument you will not be winning—one he’ll keep bringing up at the most inopportune times until he gets his way. 
“Spencer…”
“Don’t Spencer me. I’m asking you a question.”
The words don’t seem nearly as harsh as they really are when they’re delivered velvet-soft, with his lips and hands on you—when he’s so deftly popping the button on your jeans and dragging the zipper down with all the quickness of a slight-of-hand. It makes it hard to focus, even harder to speak. 
“We have… we have differing views on this matter.”
Generous handfuls of your hips and ass are taken as he helps you tug down your jeans before you kick them off, now left just in your underwear. 
“I thought I argued my point fairly well last time you were here. You didn’t learn anything from that?”
“Mm… maybe you just need to remind me.”
“Oh, I think I have to,” he agrees through a smile you can only hear. Gentle fingers skim up your back and tap the clasp of your bra. “How about this? Can we take this off?”
Any confidence from earlier crumbles and you loose a nervous hum—which is not the enthusiastic yes you’re sure Spencer will be seeking all evening. He pulls away, features etched with the beginnings of concern and a searching gaze. Asking would be unnecessary; the words simply come tumbling out of you. 
“What if you don’t like how I look?”
Spencer doesn’t even blink.
“That’s not going to happen.”
How you wish you could have the same assuredness in yourself that he seems to. 
“But what if… what if you’ve been with other girls who are more, like—I don’t know, just—better? Prettier?”
“Honey, you’re—” a sigh, a pause as he searches for the words—his eyes dart up and down your form, assessing, and when he looks back up at you, they’ve cleared and softened. He pulls you a little closer, rubbing circles into your back with his thumb. “I’m not thinking about anyone else right now. I’m not interested in anyone else right now. I already think you’re perfect, and I’m going to keep thinking that regardless of how you look. When I look at you, I’m not looking for things to critique. Do you understand me?”
As far as sentiments go, it’s a nice one. But the pressure of being seen still feels like an impossible burden. You whine, leaning your head against Spencer’s chest. He accepts your weight and runs his hand over your back as you look up at him. 
“But what if I’m hideously deformed?”
His eyebrows raise. 
“You’re not.”
“But what if I am?”
“Okay. It seems like you don’t feel ready yet, which is completely fine, we just won’t—”
“No!” you protest. “I am ready. I am. But… you have to promise to be nice to me no matter what. Or break up with me if you don’t like what you see so I don't have to wonder.”
“You’re ridiculous,” he says, kissing you, “and the only thing I’m willing to promise is that I’ll think you’re perfect. Me being nice will come as a natural byproduct of that which is very different than being nice by artifice. Take it or leave it.”
A moment of hesitance—but it’s short-lived. This is more important than your insecurities. Spencer is more important. 
“Take it,” you mumble against his lips. His fingers trace up the smooth skin of your back, all the way to the fabric and metal hooks on your bra. 
“Thank you.”
You wouldn’t have thought Spencer’s genius would manifest in being really good at undoing the clasp of a bra, but you can truly say you’re impressed by the ease with which he does it. It falls to the floor, leaving you completely shirtless for the first time in front of him. 
“Well?” you murmur, arms crossed defensively underneath your chest, because you understand overtop would sort of ruin the whole thing. “What’s the verdict?”
“You,” Spencer manages after a moment—you literally watch him memorizing every square inch of your body— “are ridiculously beautiful.”
The way his voice gets quieter makes your stomach flip. It sounds genuine. Too genuine to be faked. 
“So… no breakup?”
It seems that the more vulnerable you feel, the less likely you are to take a compliment. Spencer, who is always seeking patterns, probably recognizes this one, and doesn’t push you so hard this time. After a silent moment, he sighs and cradles your face in his hands. 
“You’re gorgeous. I hate how incapable you are of seeing that. We’re going to talk about this.”
“Yeah, but not right now, right?” you murmur, standing up on your tiptoes to kiss him. 
“Not right now,” he agrees. 
His lips are so soft and gentle against your own it feels like love, it feels like being talked down from the ledge of your own insanity. Somehow the way he strokes your hip feels more nurturing than sexual. It’s like he has sex and chaste affection on tap, able to turn them on and off at will. You’re happy to drown in either. Ideally, both.
After a while, his hands begin roaming farther, become bolder in their excursions over your flesh. Up, down, over your waist and ribs. Clearly Spencer had been trying to ease you into it, but you still can’t hide your sharp inhalation when his thumbs graze the sensitive skin of your breasts. He pulls his lips from yours, hands splayed over your sides. 
“Sit down.”
It’s much too gentle to be a command, but you frown. 
“Without you?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he chuckles, lightly squeezing your waist. “Just sit. Utilize patience.”
You sit on the edge of the bed with an atypical reticence—you’re just a little too nervous for a snippy comeback. Spencer picks up on this, features softening sympathetically as he undoes his tie with nimble fingers. It lands somewhere on the bed and he leans over you, resting his weight on his fists and offering you a quick kiss. His voice is soft and designed to soothe as he speaks, mere inches away from your face, and so quiet it could only be heard at this range. 
“Are you nervous?” Cloth from the duvet pinches between your fingers. For a moment you don’t reply, dropping your head to watch when Spencer runs his hand over your thigh. “It’s okay if you’re feeling anxious, baby. We don’t have to do anything tonight.”
You expel a frustrated huff. 
“I want to. Just because I’m nervous doesn’t mean I don’t want this. I can handle a little bit of anxiety.”
He hums, dropping to a crouch and inserting himself directly in your line of sight. 
“I know you can. But you don’t always have to push yourself so hard.”
“I’m fine pushing myself a little. I pinky-promised I would tell you if I wanted to stop, remember?”
“Oh, how could I forget a pinky-promise?” he smiles. 
How could you forget anything, you think, becoming flushed and silently insolent at his dulcet teasing. 
“Please, do something.” It’s a whisper, brushing his lips as you lean down until you’re nose to nose. His hands are on the back of your legs. 
“I’m working on it.”
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“You’re smart, angel. Tell me why I've got you naked on my bed and I’m kneeling in front of you. Where could I possibly be taking this?”
Oh, you have a pretty strong inkling—but you’re scared to voice it and be wrong. Instead of risking it you shake your head slowly, shyly. What you’re not expecting is for Spencer to duck his head down, slide his hands up the side of your thighs and press kisses to the delicate skin there. It feels good—better than you’d have thought. 
“You don’t know?” he asks, looking up at you through burnished gold-rimmed pupils. “No guesses?”
“No guesses,” you agree breathlessly, hotter than you were when you had your clothes on and all the energy in your body condensed into one point between your legs. Spencer hums like he’s considering your answer, smoothing his thumbs over the soft skin of your thighs so gently it feels like burning. 
“I don’t think you’re being entirely truthful. Lie back, sweetheart.”
You do as you’re told, scooting up on the mattress and falling back on your elbows. Spencer wastes no time in climbing over you, leaving you in much the same position as the last time you’d been in his bed. The sheets feel cool against your bare skin, but he is exceptionally warm and solid over you. 
“I’m being honest.” Lie. “I don’t know what you’re going to do.”
Lips find the most sensitive spot of your neck, dancing over it torturously. The front of his shirt brushes your chest. Your thighs clamp together. 
“I don't like being lied to. Just say it, baby. I know you know.”
“Spencer,” you whine, fists bunching the excess fabric around his waist. Warm breath condensates on the skin of your neck as he chuckles. 
“You don’t like being teased, huh?”
“Please, Spence,” you whisper. You notice the pattern of his breathing pause momentarily before it all comes rushing out at once—and you catalogue that particular plea for later usage. 
“I can’t say no when you ask me like that.”
You push your fingers into his soft hair. 
“I know.”
It was a lucky guess. 
He’s still for a moment, relishing the feeling of your hands in his hair, before darting up to kiss you. 
“I’m going to use my mouth this time,” he murmurs against your lips. Though you knew that was what he intended, your heart stumbles in its perpetual march. “Is that okay?”
“What if I…”
You trail off. This is a very intimate situation which you’re not quite sure you have delicate enough language for. Or maybe you’re just stalling. Either way, Spencer is eternally patient with you. 
“You need to stop worrying so much, pretty girl. I’d love to do this for you. But it’s your call.”
“Love is a pretty strong word.”
“Sometimes I think not strong enough.”
The way he’s looking down at you so tenderly, brushing hair from your face, makes you think maybe he’s not just talking about how much he would love to go down on you. Regardless, it fortifies your trust in him. Spencer is the kindest person you know. He’s so clearly an enthusiastic giver. Why not allow him to give you this? 
“Okay,” you breathe. “You can—yeah.”
As usual, you’re impressively awkward, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, you think he not-so-secretly delights in being the one to fluster instead of the other way around. Rarely has he mentioned his past romantic and sexual exploits, but gathering bits and pieces, you assume he was a fairly late bloomer. He probably knows what it’s like to be nervous and so deeply unsure of yourself. 
“Do you remember what you promised me?” he whispers, pressing butterfly-light kisses to your jaw. Your eyes flutter shut as his lips traverse down your neck, teeth skimming over the delicate skin while your breath catches. 
“Mhm.”
“You’re not gonna break that promise, are you?”
His voice, soft and muffled by your skin, is the most exhilarating and disorienting high. Your entire body buzzes with anticipation, satisfied only where his lips soothe and his body presses against yours. It takes a moment for you to remember to reply. 
“No.”
Reward comes in the form of his thumb brushing over the peak of your breast at the same time as he murmurs, “good girl.”
Your stomach flips at the endearment—you squeak and arch into him slightly. Spencer’s hand slides down your ribs as he chuckles, lips pressed just above your collarbone. 
“You’ve never called me that before,” you shudder as he continues kissing over your neck. 
“It’s not appropriate in most conversational contexts. But I can tell you’ve always been good.”
“Really? How?”
Spencer pauses, pushing himself up to regard you with searching eyes. The places he’d kissed feel cold without him. 
“I just can. You’re thinking too much, baby. I need your focus on me.”
“It is on you,” you huff. 
You watch his expression shift minutely. He loves games. Of course he’d love playing with you. That knowledge is why you’re only partially surprised when his thumb catches on your nipple again. 
“Is it? You’re only thinking about how it feels when I touch you here?”
A stammering nod. 
He toys with the sensitive flesh only a second more, amusement lighting his eyes, before dragging his hand down, down, down until it’s between your legs. Fingers trail over your clothed core, skimming the most sensitive part of you while your breath hitches.  
“Tell me how it feels when I touch you here.”
“Really good,” you admit, a heavy exhale escaping parted lips as he pins you with his gaze. 
“Really good, right. I can make it feel even better. Do you want me to make it feel better?”
Your thighs drop fully open and he adds just a bit more pressure until you’re pushing against his hand in search of more friction. 
“Yes please.”
“Then no more questions. I need you to trust me.”
Your answer is a breathy, dreamy sigh—you’d do anything, say anything for him. 
“Okay.”
Spencer kisses you, absorbing your noises of protest as his hand ceases between your legs and settles on your hip. But you’re trusting him. No whiny complaining. No unnecessary questions. 
Things go much quicker once you’re not interrupting him every twenty seconds to say something. His lips reattach to your neck, retracing their path (albeit quicker) until he’s below your collarbone. You watch in rapt fascination, twisted brows and parted lips as he peppers kisses down over your breast before dragging his tongue over your nipple. A jolted little moan spills out because you hadn’t been prepared to hold one in. Waves of hair fall over Spencer’s face, obscuring him from your vision, but you don’t think to push it away—your body is too busy processing the sensation to be much use on any other front. He darts his tongue over the peaked flesh, eliciting more little open-mouthed exhalations of pleasure from you. Earlier you hadn’t really thought it necessary for your bra to come off—you had no idea this could actually feel so good. A moment later he begins toying with the other nipple and you gasp as a bolt of heat goes straight to your core. 
You curse, further words catching in your throat as he suddenly switches, mouthing at your other breast and letting the cold air chill the other until you have goosebumps. It feels a little like hypnosis—you’re unable to move or speak as his tongue laves over you. Soon he’s replacing his mouth with a thumb again, sucking a mark onto your tit just above your nipple. You whimper a little at the pleasant brutality of it, hoping as he releases that it won’t soon fade. Spencer swipes over the stinging skin and presses a tender kiss to it, almost like an apology—but you sincerely doubt he’s actually sorry. 
Then he resumes his descent, leaving soft kisses down between your breasts, over your ribcage and stomach—when he reaches your hips, he doesn’t pull off your underwear all at once. Rather, he slides the fabric down centimeter by centimeter, kissing the revealed skin like it’s precious. 
This time you don’t need to be told to lift your hips. He helps you slip the final piece of clothing down and off of your legs, flinging it somewhere blindly before getting comfortable between your thighs once more. Your heart pounds with arousal and anxiety as his arms wrap around your thighs and his hands rub up and down the tops of them slowly. 
“God, you’re fucking beautiful,” he mumbles, loosening his hold on one leg to thumb at your folds. They glisten in the dim light of his bedroom as he gently reveals your clit. A soft whine escapes you when he nudges at the aching bud, slipping over it a few times and alleviating a bit of the pressure that’s been building. “Shh, baby. I know. I’m gonna take care of it. You’re being so good for me.”
Fuck. The way he talks to you makes your brain turn to mush—you’re utterly incapable of forming an intelligent thought. Spencer has rendered you a complete idiot, and you’re not upset about it in the slightest. 
He presses more gentle kisses to the creases between your thighs, just above your clit—everywhere except for where you need him most. Everything aches for him in the best way and at least you’re too turned on to be very insecure anymore. All you want is relief. But you’re trusting him. 
Thankfully, he delivers. 
The tip of his tongue grazes so lightly over your clit that if you weren’t this worked up you may not have felt it at all. In your current state, however, the stimulation echoes through every atom of your being. Every muscle is tense, frozen in place—you can’t even breathe for a second. He does it again, a little flatter, with a little more pressure, and you whimper. It’s a delicate thing, almost pained and definitely overwhelmed as he gently begins working his tongue against you. Your head cranes up to watch, your jaw drops. Approximations of curse words try to form, but come out only as, “f-fu—oh,” so whiny and soft it doesn’t even sound like you. He hums sympathetically, but you suspect it morphs into a chuckle as you continue to gasp and mewl. 
There are times where you can hold back sounds of pleasure. When you’re by yourself, it’s typically not a problem. Two weeks ago when Spencer was knuckle deep in you for the first time, it had certainly been a challenge, and you’d pretty much given up. But this—this is something else entirely. It feels like religion. It feels like compulsion. Even if you had the slightest modicum of control over yourself, which you currently don’t, you wouldn’t want to keep quiet. You want him to know what he’s doing to you. 
So you let every cry, every whine and whimper drag from your lungs, unbidden and unshaped. You’re new at this, after all—every broad lick feels so good that you have no fucking idea what do to with your hands or how to stop rolling your hips or how to censor your sounds. 
“Spencer,” you keen in one of the moments you remember to breathe. He moans against you, taking you into his mouth and sucking lightly. Your hips buck. “Oh, my—fuck!”
The hand that’s still around your thigh rubs soothing lines up and down. The one that’s spreading you open pulls your folds apart a little bit further, granting him more access to your clit. He flicks his tongue and you almost come then and there, vision going gray for a split second. 
“Wait, wait, Spence—“ you squeak, writhing and trying not to squeeze your thighs together for fear of hurting him. He pulls back and looks up at you, lips shining with your slick and eyes glazed with lust. Fuckfuckfuck he looks so fucking good. “Please, just… slow down, or I’m gonna… or it’s gonna be over.”
The corner of his mouth twitches as he rubs circles into your inner thigh. 
“It’s over when you say it’s over. You don’t have a refractory period. We don’t have to stop at one.”
“Oh—you don’t—you don’t have to do that,” you stammer. 
“I know I don’t have to. But if you want me to, I want to. You taste so good, angel girl.”
Well, shit. 
He looks absurdly sexy between your legs like this. You have no idea how you got so lucky, but you don’t plan on taking it for granted. Your fingers tangle in his hair. 
“I don’t know if I can do more than one,” you admit shyly, slightly embarrassed by how little you know about yourself and in general compared to Spencer. Hazel eyes sparkle in the warm light. 
“How about we start with one and see how it feels?”
Your voice is breathy when you respond, “okay,” already impatient for him to get back to it. Spencer seems just as eager, immediately kissing between your legs with a passion that makes your lips jealous. 
The flat of his tongue presses circles against you and your hips buck, already ramping up to that point you’d been at before calling a time-out. Slowly his fingers find their way to your entrance and he teases you with them, dipping in to the first knuckle before withdrawing again. If you could form words, you’d beg him to just do it already, but all you can manage is an affronted whine as you tilt your hips down, hoping he catches the meaning. 
Of course he does—pushing two fingers inside you at once. The intrusive stretch adds a sharp edge to the pleasure, makes it more interesting, as your brain short-circuits and you choke out a moan. It only takes a few slow pumps of his fingers in tandem with the pressure of his tongue until your hips are writhing and you’re and mewling desperately, more overwhelmed with pleasure than you’ve ever been. You push his hair back, able to see him for the first time, and fully appreciate the hollow of his cheeks, the way he looks up at you with perfect, glassy half-lidded eyes, the rhythm of his hand and tongue—he takes your clit between his lips once more, sucking lightly, and you’re done for. A pornographic sob escapes from deep within you as you come, but he doesn’t stop. The orgasm lasts longer than you knew one could—although, it’s only your second time, so you don’t exactly have a lot of data to go off of. Your entire body feels warm and floaty, and what he’s doing feels so good you want him even deeper—but you know he won’t give you that yet. Instead you focus on the slow burn of your orgasm, allowing him to carry on for a while until you begin slowly drifting back to earth and it becomes a bit too much. He recognizes the barely-there whine for what it is and pulls his fingers from you carefully, pressing one final kiss to your clit that makes your legs twitch and summons a weak little moan. 
Spencer’s lips find other avenues, over the delicate skin of your thighs and hips and stomach as he slowly drags himself up again. By the time you’re face to face again you’re still breathing hard. You sort of feel like prey underneath his weight, studied so scrupulously, known far more intimately by him than anyone has ever known you before. But there is so much light and kindness in the way he looks at you that you almost can’t make sense of it. 
Maybe it’s possible to be known and still wanted. The possibility spins like a coin on its edge in your mind. An idea you spent so much time trying to nurture and is only just now beginning to sprout. Maybe someone could see you at your most vulnerable, and still find you worthy of kindness. Appreciation. Affection. 
Spencer certainly could, it seems, as he ducks down to kiss you. You dodge it, turning your head demurely. He nudges his head against yours, speaking so, so softly, utterly cloying as he teases, “what? You’re not gonna kiss me now? Is that how it is?”
“No!” you balk, equally as quiet and especially bashful. “Not when you… no.”
“Let me kiss you,” he pleads, so earnestly you turn your head back to face him. His big eyes are hazy, reflecting all the warmth and dizziness you feel. “Let me kiss you. Please.”
You whine.
“I don’t wanna… taste… myself.”
Spencer doesn’t miss a beat. 
“Hm. We’ll need to work on that. Because one day, I’ll make you come just like that again, and then I’m going to fuck you, and you’re really going to want me to kiss you then, angel.”
Something flickers in your core. 
Suddenly you’re not so squeamish. You really want him to kiss you now. But it seems he’s going to have his fun, first. 
“Open.” Without even thinking about it, your lips part. He really ought to be careful with what he tells you to do—you’re all too compliant. Even as his fingers slip between your lips, you’re obediently hollowing your cheeks around them, watching him with big eyes as his own mouth falls slightly open. “Oh, baby,” he croons. “What are we gonna do with you?”
That flicker has returned to a full-fledged throbbing once you open your mouth again, slightly dizzy from lack of oxygen. 
“Can you make me come again right now?” you whisper, grasping lightly at his shirt. He grins like he loves the idea—and you let him have his way, accepting his lips on yours with no complaint. After a few moments, (the taste is surprisingly unobtrusive), he pulls away.
“I would love to.”
-
part three
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shellshocklove · 3 months
Text
just crazy love | joel miller
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pairing/AU: 70s!pornstar!joel miller x inexperienced!female reader
summary: joel had hurt you badly, but can you forgive him?
warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni! reader is 23, joel is in his early 30s, accuracies and inaccuracies about the 70s and the porn industry, smoking of cigarettes (it's the 70s alright), mentions and drinking of alcohol, misogyny (bc of the times™), readers uncle is a character in this but his name is not mentioned and there's no description of looks, angst, swearing, use of pet names, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, squirting, unprotected sex (don't do it!!), praise kink, some size kink (pornstar!joel has a big dick), soft!dom joel, no use of y/n
a/n: this is part three and the last part to my little 70s!pornstar!joel mini-series. i'm overwhelmed by the love i got on the previous part. i honestly thought everyone had forgotten about the orginal one shot as it had been so long 💀 i really appreciate all of you who's left a comment, reply or sent me an ask! makes my heart all mushy 🥺 thank you to @dustydaddyyy for all the help and for reading through it! <3
main masterlist / series masterlist / ao3
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On the way home from set, Joel started to think he’d fucked up.
You were so quiet, quieter than you usually were, and it made him worried. After wrapping his scene with Cheryl, he’d immediately looked for you, but your place in the corner where you’d stood watching was empty. He’d noticed you slip out during his scene but thought nothing of it as he knew being on set wasn’t your favorite, but then you came back, and Joel had found it hard to conceal his happiness behind his acting.
His head had been filled with memories and fantasies, memories and fantasies of you. The look you’d get in your eyes when he kissed you, blown out and wide. The feel of your soft hand wrapped around him this morning, the feel of your wet pussy tight around his cock. The sweet taste of you on his tongue. Shit. You were intoxicating. Joel couldn’t get you out of his head– and he didn’t want to try either. One look at you and those pretty eyes, and he came harder during a scene than he can remember ever doing – no need to fake any groans or moans.
It had been a long time since Joel had felt something so strongly for another woman. It must’ve been his high school sweetheart, he thought, that first teenage love, that all-consuming love that made that one special girl feel like the most important person in the world. And sure, after he moved to LA he’d dated, had a couple of girlfriends, but it never went anywhere, and his job, his job always made it complicated. Joel didn’t want complicated– so he stopped dating and got his fill of human touch through his work instead. It made his life easy, but then he’d seen you at the bar by yourself at Tommy’s club, and Joel didn’t want easy anymore.
Joel was a charming man; those southern manners had gotten him far in life, and especially with the ladies – it was no secret. And maybe he’d turned it up a few notches that night, he could admit that – hoping it would hook you in. He’d almost gone against his own rule. The rule he’d set for himself after one particularly nasty break-up a few years back: his rule of no sex outside work. He’d told himself he was protecting himself– protecting himself from getting involved into something complicated again, from getting hurt, or hurting someone he cared for. But then he’d met you, danced with you, talked to you, and Joel didn’t care about protecting himself anymore.
You weren’t someone to take home at the end of the night for a quick fuck. You were so sweet, and shy, he couldn’t help but want to get to know you better. Learn what made you smile, what books you liked, what music you listened to, but also what noises you made when you fell apart. In that dark dingy club, Joel had realized how special you were.
Maybe it was stupid what he did? He could’ve gotten your number a number of ways, but the alcohol was talking and suddenly he was offering you a job before really thinking it through – but at least he had a reason to see you again.
You were a good assistant, and he appreciated the work you did for him, his life had gotten much easier after hiring you. But you were so professional, and what Joel wanted to do to you was unprofessional. You kept on top of his schedule, took his phone calls, scheduled meetings, predicted what he needed before he even knew he wanted it. You were nothing short of a great assistant, but the more he worked with you it was clear that there were things about his job you weren’t as comfortable with – and Joel couldn’t blame you. From the outside his job was unusual, and fucking on camera wasn’t for everybody, but Joel had come to know – it especially wasn’t for you.
A couple of months in, Joel had started to think you were a virgin. At first, he thought it was just your steadfast professionalism, but your reactions to what he considered normal things in his line of work, made him wonder. Not that there was anything wrong with you being a virgin, he just couldn’t understand how anyone could look at you and not want you to be theirs. And maybe it was wrong, but it turned him on a little too, something possessive deep inside loving the thought of you being his, and only his.
He wanted you, wanted you to be his, and the more he got to know you, the more he had to fight to hold back his growing feelings. Joel could hide behind his personality, hide behind the way he loved to flirt, loving the way you squirmed from his compliments– from his teasing. It was cute, it was so goddamn cute, but it didn’t fix the ache he had inside only you could sooth.
After Pismo Beach, Joel knew he was fucked. In the car on the way back to LA he’d had trouble watching anything except your face; the beautiful glimmering sea you drove along might as well have been an oily puddle for all he cared. Nothing was sweeter than watching you hum along to the Joni Mitchell cassette you played on repeat. Joni’s mezzo-soprano clung in his ear like a warning. Yes, help me, he was falling in love too fast, but damn if it didn’t feel good.
Now a different song filled the space of his car, as he drove you home. Crosby, Stills & Nash’s melodic guitar picking hummed a low tune, their three-part harmonies flowing from his car speakers.
“Heartlessly helping himself to her bad dreams, he worries.”
So yeah, Joel was worried. That rosy hue that had been tinting his world when he looked at you, had now faded to a drab dirty pink. You didn’t even look at him, and hadn’t muttered as much as a word to him since he found you in his trailer – where you’d been flicking through his papers from the meeting – after the scene ended.
“’s everythin’ alright?” Joel spoke across the silence that had grown between you.
You didn’t move your head from where it rested against the window; your face bathed in red from the sea of brake lights on the freeway. You weren’t moving much, so Joel allowed himself a good look at you. He watched the way your body curled in on itself in the seat, your fingers picking at your nailbeds – it made him pull his brows in a tight frown.
“Did he hear a goodbye, or even hello?”
With a brave hand he reached out to touch you, stroking the back of his hand against your cheek. “Hey,” he said, “did ya hear me, my sweet girl?”
“They are one person. They are two alone. They are three together. They are for each other.”
You pulled away from his touch immediately, shifting in your seat, and Joel felt his heart sink in his chest. “I’m fine,” you muttered, an unfamiliar sting in your voice.
A loud honk behind him released Joel from the shock from your tone, and his hand that had been previously dancing along your delicate skin, fell to the gear stick. Releasing the clutch slowly, Joel’s car rolled forward, following the slug traffic. You clearly weren’t fine.
“Stand by the stairway, you’ll see something certain to tell you, confusion has its cost.”
Joel let the music fill the space while you stayed quiet, a bubbling panic settling in his chest as the day played on repeat in his head. Everything had been so great earlier, until it wasn’t. He’d seen it in you after the meeting. Joel knew he should’ve said something, and he’d simmered with it all throughout the meeting, but Joel also knew better than to speak against Ronald in a setting like that.
Ronald was the best thing that had happened to Joel’s career. He was a big name in the porn industry, only managing the very best in the game. Eight years had passed since Ronald had discovered Joel.
It had been the summer of ‘67, his first year in LA already in the rear view. He’d come with a guitar case and a dream of making something of himself. Joel had chased that dream around in circles, and a year into it, he’d been free falling towards rock bottom. The gigs he’d dreamt would line up as soon as his feet touched the hot Californian sand, never came, and had it not been for Tommy, who’d made the move with him, he’d be homeless.
The whole exchange had been bizarre. Tommy was working as a busboy at a club on The Strip at the time, and as an employee, Tommy got a discount at the bar. Joel knew how to take advantage of his little brother’s benefits, and occupied a seat at the bar every weekend where he drank almost free booze, and flirted himself to a one night stand, or two, or three.
He’d sat by the bar one Saturday like usual when a man sat down in the seat next to him. Joel paid him no mind at first, continuing to smoke his cigarette and enjoy his whiskey. Then the man had started talking to him, asking if he knew this girl he’d slept with last week. He was about to deny ever having talked to someone matching this girl’s description, concerned that this man was a husband or a crazy ex-boyfriend of some sort, when the man started telling him that she dabbled in porn. Nothing crazy, just some nude photoshoots here and there, but she’d told him all about Joel and his impressive package.
Joel was about to tell the man to go fuck himself – the conversation twisting into something way too weird for Joel to navigate – when the man, Ronald, had offered to manage him. 
Sure, Joel was gifted, blessed, some might even say, but it had sounded too good to be true: getting paid the big bucks for just having sex? At the time, it had sounded like every man’s pipe dream but now, Joel owed Ronald everything.
If the movie deal with VCA went through, Joel’d owe him even more. It was a miracle he was this sought after in the first place. The top consumers of porn, Joel knew, and he supposed the entire porn industry knew, were predominantly men looking for big boobs and a willing woman, neither of which he was. But the tide was turning with the rise of the women’s movement, and Ronald had thrown his net into the pool of opportunity at the exact right moment.
The cynical part of Joel told him it paid his bills – he’d been so desperate in that club – but now, now he was living large as his popularity had continued to grow, and grow, and grow. He’d paved his path towards success, towards the success he’d dreamed about those eighth years ago. And sure, it felt good to be sought after and desired by women everywhere, but if he was being honest, the only woman he wanted to be desired by in this moment, was you.
He loved your gentle nature, that shy, almost timid, way you looked at him. No one had looked at him like that before. It felt so much more real, but it was like something was always holding you back, like you could never allow yourself to just be, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Joel recognized that feeling, he did. He was from the south after all, and as far as his family was concerned, Joel was a sinner. That guilt they instilled in him– he’d sat with that a long time, years spent learning not to hate himself for the choices he’d made, unlearning years of shame. To not feel guilty about his desires, to embrace all that life had to offer with open arms, to dream, to eat until he was full and still have room for dessert.
“Love isn’t lying, it’s loose in a lady who lingers.”
Clearing his throat, Joel spoke again, “Somethin’ ‘s clearly wrong, sweet girl.”
“Please don’t call me that,” you sighed, voice strained like you were close to crying. The broken sound of you shattered something inside him.
“Saying she is lost, and choking on hello.”
Finally, the traffic picked up its pace, and Joel changed gear, gaining speed for the first time since you got on the freeway.  
“My sweet girl?” he asked, “I thought you liked that?”
Crosby, Stills & Nash sang their last lines, before the song faded into some disco song Joel had never heard before. It was loud and obnoxious, and your answer drowned in the beat. Joel’s hand was on the volume button in less than a second, turning it down.
“I didn’t,” you repeated in a whisper, “I don’t.”
You shifted your body closer to the door, and Joel knew he had to do something to make you feel better.
“How about…” he started, his hand shifting from the gear stick to land on the thick of your thigh, “I’ll drive us back to my place, and we’ll pick up where we left of this mornin’, huh? Would that make ya feel better?”
You crossed your leg over the other, making his hand slip from your thigh. “I’m too tired, Joel– it’s been a long day… and I didn’t get enough sleep,” you sighed, eyes closed and defeated.
“You sure? Swe–” Joel cut himself off before he could say it, the sweetness turning bitter on his tongue.
You didn’t answer, didn’t look at him, didn’t let him touch you. Something tightened in his chest. You were slipping away like sand through his fingers.
Maybe this wasn’t about the meeting after all?
“’s this about Cheryl?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady and calm, to conceal the panic bubbling in his throat. “’s just for work– was just actin’.”
You took a deep breath, and held it before you spoke, like you were practicing what to say before you said it. “It’s fine, Joel– I’m not your girlfriend.”
Not his girlfriend. Not his. Never his.
This time he couldn’t look at you, his hand gripping tightly around the steering wheel as he glimpsed your apartment complex down at the next turn.
“I thought–” Shit. A breathless chuckle devoid of any joy left him. He was speechless. 
Pulling into the parking lot next to your car, Joel didn’t know what to do. He watched you gather your things, while the heaviness in his chest grew.
Was it over before it had even begun?
“I’m…” you drew a shaky breath, “I’ll see you at work.”
And then you were gone, slipping out the door and leaving Joel alone in the swollen silence of your absence. His heart hammered in his chest, his breathing growing shallower as he watched you hurry across the parking lot in the rear-view mirror.
Move you fucking idiot– run after her, his brain told him, but he couldn’t move an inch. Shit. Shit. Shit. His chest tightened, and tightened, his fingers clawing at the rough fabric of his jeans as he started gasping for air. He’d wanted you for so long, and now you were gone. What the fuck was he supposed to do now? With shaky hands he managed to roll down the window, the fresh evening air filled his lungs as he tried his best to calm down.
Joel had fucked up.
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When Thursday rolled around, and Joel still hadn’t heard from you, he started to wonder if it was excessive to file a missing persons report. He’d tried to call you multiple times since Monday, but your phone was always off the hook. The hollow beeping of the busy signal doing nothing to calm the panic building in him since Monday.
He’d been so stupid, and he’d cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. Embarrassment suffocating him at the fact that it hadn’t settled in until Ronald had shown him the first rough cut of his chemistry test with Cheryl yesterday.
It had been Cheryl’s idea, the whole innocence thing. She’d pitched it to him after the meeting ended, telling him how excited she was for this opportunity, and how much she was looking forward to finally filming later. Joel had played along; he was at work after all – it was his job. So, he turned on the charm, tested the chemistry waters, and agreed. She was new to the industry and young, it made sense.
What didn’t make sense was what he’d called her. Sweet girl. He’d called Cheryl that multiple times without even realizing it – too lost in his thoughts of you, and how he wished it was you with your lips wrapped around him.
Joel was fucking stupid.
He’d convinced you to watch him get a blowjob from another woman right after you’d confessed to never having given head before. He knew you were inexperienced, but that had never mattered to him. Joel thought it was kinda nice to explore sex with you – to find out what you liked, and what you didn’t. It made it exciting again – it wasn’t just work. But hearing himself praise Cheryl for making him feel good was the last straw for him – he needed to apologize to you.
How he wished he’d been able to convince you to stay in bed that morning– to forget about the stupid fucking meeting. Finally, he’d had you. Finally, he could kiss you, and hold you, and make you feel good. The sweetness of you, of having had you, now bitter as he realized he’d probably never get that back.
Wiping a sweaty palm on his jeans, he tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for someone to buzz him into your apartment complex. He knew he shouldn’t be here, he could get you in trouble, but he needed to see you, to talk to you face to face.
“Hello?” a static voice croaked through the busted speakers of the rusting door buzzer.
“Pizza delivery,” Joel answered, and not a second later the door buzzed.
Trudging up the stairs the words he’d rehearsed played on a loop in his head: He know you probably don’t want to see him ever again, but he needed to apologize for what happened on Monday. He never meant to hurt you the way he did. He understands he was never your boyfriend, but that was what he wanted to be, and he’s sorry for the way he acted.
Stopping outside your apartment door he drew in a deep breath before he knocked. It felt like he stood there for hours waiting while nothing happened. That worry he’d felt for days now tugging harder at his neck. Joel knocked again, a little harder with the shout of your name, and added ‘It’s Joel’ for good measure. Again, nothing. When he repeated the action a third time, the door to the neighboring apartment flew open.
“She’s not home,” your neighbor told him, a hint of annoyance in her voice. She was dressed in a formless paisley patterned dress, hair thrown back in a low ponytail as she bounced a crying baby in her arms. When Joel’s eyes landed on the little girl in her arms, she told him, “You woke her up with all that banging.”
“I’m sorry ma’am,” he said earnestly, “I never meant to–” The baby screamed louder, face red from exertion.
“Sure, you didn’t,” she scoffed, with a roll of her eyes. She bounced her daughter, shifting her hold to hike her up over her shoulder, hand tap tapping at her back as she started to bounce her.
Sliding his hands into his jean pockets, Joel didn’t know what to do. Awkwardly he cleared his throat, tilting his head towards your door. “D’you–” Joel started, before your neighbor cut him off.
“No, but I saw her getting picked up by an older man about an hour ago.” Something about the judgement in her tone didn’t sit right with Joel.
He nodded at the information. Your uncle. Joel remembered now. Your uncle was coming to visit – taking you to dinner. What had you said on the phone again? An Italian place in Santa Monica?
Pulling his car keys from his pocket, he thanked your neighbor – making sure to apologize once again for the ruckus, before he hurried back down the stairs. He walked with long steps towards his car. The sun was setting on LA, turning the clouds and the city pink, but he paid the beautiful sight no mind, his eyes set on the Italian restaurant in Santa Monica where he knew Deborah worked.
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“Well would you look at what the cat dragged in.”
Joel turned his head towards the source of the familiar voice, only to find himself eye to eye with Deborah, and her raised eyebrow.
The air smelled like garlic and basil, and the restaurant hummed with conversation over the sound of Dean Martin. She was adorning the restaurant’s waiter uniform, a short red dress over a white collared shirt, while balancing a tower of dirty plates in her hands. He almost didn’t recognize her, she looked so different from how he was used to seeing her – all dolled up at Tommy’s club.
“Deborah,” he acknowledged with a nod, plastering a polite smile on his face.
“Don’t you ‘Deborah’ me, Miller,” she told him with a scoff, placing the tower of dishes down on an empty table before crossing her arms over her chest and narrowing her eyes at him, “What are you doing here?”
“I’m lookin’ for–”
“I bet you are,” Deborah replied, raising an unimpressed brow, “She ain’t here.”
Joel sighed, his face pulling into a defeated smile. “I know she’s with her uncle, Deborah. She told me she was takin’ him to an Italian restaurant in Santa Monica– As far as I’m concerned, that’s this place.”
Deborah shrugged nonchalantly, and Joel felt himself start to get annoyed. “Sorry, haven’t seen her in months.”
“Deb,” Joel let out through an exasperated sigh, a hand coming up to rub his eye, “Listen, I–... I just came to apologize, okay? I did somethin’ stupid that I shouldn’t have, and I need to apologize to her f’it.”
Deborah scoffed at Joel’s words, shaking her head with a bitter smile. “I bet you did something stupid... always the same thing with you Millers, hm? You always do first and think later.”
Confused, Deborah’s tone made Joel raise a single eyebrow, “Sure we still talkin’ about me?”
He hadn’t heard much from Tommy about what had gone on between him and Deborah, but he knew it hadn’t been very pretty. Tommy had just broken up Maria for the umpteenth time when they’d started going around. It was never going to last, Joel knew it the second he’d met Deb. Tommy always came back to Maria somehow, it didn’t matter how badly it had ended – like an endless figure eight they’d always meet again in the middle.
“Potato, potahto,” she said with a falsely sweet smile.
“Look, I ain’t my brother, okay? Never have been, never will be. Now I ain’t got a clue what went down between the two of you, and I’m damn near sure he deserves all the rage you’ve got to throw at ‘him, but it ain’t my business to sort out, so don’t go makin’ it my business...”
Deb tightened her arms over her chest, green eyes glaring at him, still, Joel could see a twinkle of curiosity in her eyes, too. “Apologize for what? You dock her pay or something?”
“No,” Joel let out with an annoyed breath.
“So what, you fired her?”
“No, Deb,” Joel said again, his voice heavy with exasperation.
Deborah quieted down for a second as she scrutinized him, her eyes boring into him. Then, her eyes cleared, and she shook her head.
“You got handsy, didn’t you?” she asked eventually, raising a questioning eyebrow. Joel couldn’t hide the guilt on his face, it told her all she needed to know. Her hands fell to her sides, “Jesus Christ, Miller... don’t you get laid enough at work?”
“Look, it ain’t like that,” he said, shaking his head as he felt his cheeks heat up, which only embarrassed him more.
Joel Miller doesn’t blush.
When Deb crossed her arms again, expression expectant as she looked silently at him, Joel sighed. “Deb… I really like her– and I know ya’ll are friends, and you want to protect her, but you gotta give me a fair shot, too... I never meant to hurt her, but I did, and if I have to spend the rest of my life apologizin’ to her every single day then that’s what I’mma do, but I promise you, you’re going to get sick of me real quick.”
There was a moment of silence in which the two of them looked at each other, before Deb raised a finger to point at Joel, taking a step forward.
“You listen here, Miller,” she said, wagging it under his nose, “Just this once, I’m going to be nice to you, for old times’ sake... but if I so much as hear a squeak from her you’re acting like a bastard, then you bet your ass I’m coming the hell after you.”
Joel nodded slowly, pulling in a deep breath through his nose as he pursed his lips.
“Anythin’ else?” he asked, raising a semi-impressed eyebrow, but Deborah only scoffed at his tone, poking him in the chest a final time.
“Yeah, tell your brother to stop calling,” she said, looking up at him, before nodding towards the back of the restaurant, “Unlike her, I don’t give second chances.”
“I’ll pass it on,” Joel said with a nod, but his voice was already absent as he finally spotted your familiar shape sitting in a booth at the very back of the restaurant.
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Twirling your fork absentmindedly through your spaghetti, you listened to your uncle yap on and on about the boys at the garage, and the car he’d just driven down here.
“It’s a beaut,” your uncle said through a mouthful of his own pasta, “1971 C3 model, nice dark green color Ralphie repainted. You know I’m not a convertible guy myself, can’t give up my truck, but I could see myself in one of them cars out here– apparently, it’s being sold to some high-profile actor or something.”
“Really?” you asked, trying to steer this never-ending one-sided conversation towards something somewhat interesting.
“Yeah, you know I don’t keep up with them celebrities, but I’m pretty sure I was talking to the client’s manager on the phone.”
You nodded, letting your fork fall to take a sip of your water. Your uncle hadn’t let you order yourself a glass of wine, the impression that you were still that innocent little girl you were back when you worked in his garage shop hard to shake. Your uncle, on the other hand, nursed his beer.
“That’s exciting,” you said with a small smile.
“Oh yeah, we’ve got this bet going at the shop about who it is–” Your uncle cut himself off as a broad figure approached your table. Looking up from your plate your breath hitched when you saw the man before you.
“Joel?” His name fell from your lips before you had time to think, your brows pulling together in confusion, before something tugged at the hurt in your heart. What was he doing here?
“Hi, sweetheart.” His face wore a quiet smile, eyes scanning over your form.
“W-what are you doing here?” you stuttered out, a panic racing in your chest while a lump formed in your throat. You couldn’t do this here, especially not in front of your uncle.
“I was in the neighborhood– saw y’all through the window and wanted to…” he trailed off, finally noticing your uncle. “Sorry, sir,” he reached out his hand to your uncle in a greeting, “Joel Miller, I’m–”
“Joel’s an actor,” you cut him off, “he starred in one of Mr. Cooper’s commercials a few months ago,” you lied.
You could see the kink in Joel brow at your lie, that quiet surprise he then played off with a charming smile. “Yeah, that’s right– a beer commercial, wasn’t it?” He looked at you with one eyebrow raised. Biting down on your lip you confirmed the lie with a nod.
“You do look a little familiar,” you uncle said, dragging the words out like he’s pulling them from his memory, “they show your commercial on the TV?”
“Oh, I haven’t been payin’ attention, but somethin’ like that,” Joel shrugged, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his tight Levis, his signature western belt buckle glinting in the low light. “Y’all mind if I join y’all for a drink?”
“Not at all,” your uncle smiled before you could say anything. Joel lifted his hand to get Deborah’s attention to order himself a beer, before he squeezed himself into the booth next to you, his knee bumping into yours as he got comfortable.
Having lost your appetite, you shifted your plate to the side to make room for Joel. It was a tight squeeze in the booth, the warmth of his body flooding your senses, the familiar scent of cigarettes and of his cologne making your heart ache.
How could you miss him, and hate him all at the same time?
Deborah served Joel his drink quickly, checking in at your table at the same time. Her eyes were focused on you as she cleared the table, asking you a silent ‘You okay?’ which you quickly nodded at. You knew she’d make up some crazy excuse to get you out of any situation, but you didn’t know if you could handle it if she did. It was easier to just suffer through. You’d suffered enough this past week; you could handle another hour.
The days since you’d seen Joel last had been spent between your bed and your couch. Unfocused eyes rolling over reruns as you let a blanket of numbness fall over you as the hours passed you by. You felt so tired, that kind of tired that sits in your stomach, heavy and pulling you down, every step a drag and every breath a strain. You’d isolated yourself for days, hadn’t showered for days, you were too tired to do it, and what did it matter anyway?
You’d tried to cry, but you couldn’t make the tears fall. You wanted the release, and to feel sorry for yourself, but nothing came. And what good would it do? Nothing. You were nothing. Nothing to yourself, nothing to Joel, and nothing to this lonely city. Just some small-town girl who thought she could change who she was, who she was always destined to be.
After two whole days on your couch, you had to get up, you had no choice. You wanted to cancel, to tell your uncle that you’d come down with the flu, but you knew he was driving all day, and you wouldn’t have a clue where to call to reach him. So, you’d sat up, ate a piece of bread, and had a shower. Every minute you tried to not think of Joel, tried to not think about the way he’d kissed you hello in your hallway, the way he'd held you through the night as you slept soundly in his arms, how his gaze had felt over your features on your way back from Pismo Beach – it was all too much. Every nice memory ruined by the way his voice had echoed ‘Sweet girl’ to Cheryl.
Sweet girl. Feels so good, my sweet girl– just like that. My sweet girl.
How stupid you’d felt hearing those words. You’d fooled yourself into thinking there was something more between you and Joel. You weren’t special, and that was the worst part, because he’d made you feel special. He’d made you feel desired– like he actually liked you. Or maybe that’s what hurt the most – to realize that to him you were just one girl among many.
You’d placed your phone back on the hook in the afternoon, anticipating your uncle’s call, and when it rang, you were relieved to hear his familiar voice down the line. It was all so complicated. The relief a strange mix with the suffocating memories of home. You were different now than when you worked at his shop. Still shy, but still different, more grown up and more independent. He didn’t know you anymore. No one knew you anymore– well except for one person.
You’d felt free with Joel– even before, when he was just your boss. He’d challenged you, made you come out of your shell, challenged your shame, and challenged your guilt. And watching Joel small talk with your uncle, you started to wonder if that was the reason why it had hit you so hard? Joel had let you be yourself, while still challenging you. He’d let you be shy, while still feeling sexy. He’d made you feel seen, until you’d been forgotten.
“You guys will have to excuse me, I need to take a leak,” your uncle said, pulling you from your thoughts, and getting up from his seat.
With his glass raised to his lips, Joel only gave him a short nod as he watched him walk away from your table. When your uncle was out of earshot, Joel dropped the act, shoulders relaxing as he gently placed his beer on the red and white gingham.
His face looked tired, eyes sparkling with melancholy. “I’m sorry for showin’ up here all unannounced,” he started, fingertips tapping lightly over the cloth, “you weren’t pickin’ up your phone and I need to talk to you.”
The lump on your throat grew larger as you tried to swallow around it, lost for words. “F-for what?” you said, voice hoarse and not louder than a whisper.
“I think we both know for what,” he sighed, “I fucked it up with you– never should’ve said those things to Cheryl– even if it was just actin’. I got so caught up in you, I didn’t realize what I’d said until it was too late, and I’m sorry.”
“I-I, J-Joel,” you stuttered, brows pulling together tightly as you searched for your words.
“You don’t need to say nothin’ right now, but I wanna drive you home ‘f that’s okay? Wanna have a proper talk with you.”
His hand was shaking as he placed it gently on your shoulder, the touch making your eyes fall shut as a hitching breath escaped you.
“Joel,” you whispered.
“Please,” his hand moved gently up your neck to cup your cheek, the warmth of his touch sending goosebumps down your spine. “Please, I need to explain myself.” His voice sounded pained and full of sorrow. “I’m beggin’ you, sweetheart.”
You opened your eyes slowly, breath shaky as you tried to hold back the tears pressing behind your eyes. His whole face shifted when you met his eyes, melancholy turning to worry, his other hand coming up to cup your other cheek as he shifted closer.
“Hey,” he said it so softly, “Sweet girl, sweet sweet girl, please don’t cry.” His forehead fell against yours, his mustache tickling your skin as he pressed ‘I’m sorry’ into it.
“O-okay,” you managed to stutter out against your better judgment.
Joel lifted his head, brown warm eyes finding yours as his thumbs rubbed gently into your skin, “Yeah?”
Behind Joel, you noticed your uncle exit the men’s room, and you jerked out of Joel’s hold. His brows tightened together in a confused frown before you gave him a short nod in the direction of your uncle. Joel gathered his hands in his lap, his eyes tracing your uncle as he squeezed back into his seat. He gave Joel a look you couldn’t decipher, jaw locked tight and eyes piercing, before he turned to you with a plastered smile.
“Alright, what do you say, sweetie? You want some dessert?”
Your eyes flicked quickly from your uncle to Joel, and then back again, “No, I think I’m too full, and um… it’s getting late.”
Your uncle hummed, “Yeah, been a long day for sure.” Shifting in his seat your uncle fished his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. “Let’s see if we can get a hold of that pretty friend of yours,” he said, turning his head to search for Deborah.
As he got her attention, Joel fished his pack of cigarettes from the front pocket of his shirt. He lit himself a cigarette as you watched your uncle hold up his wallet and point. You couldn’t help but steal a glance at Joel, watching the way his lips pursed around the cigarette as he inhaled.
“I think I’m also gonna use the restroom before we leave,” you peeped, getting to your feet before anyone could say anything. You felt Joel’s hands graze the back of your legs as you squeezed past him. The touch quick but gentle, but still leaving a burn of longing either way.
Pushing open the door to the restroom you took a deep breath. Joel was here. Joel was here and he wanted to apologize. Pacing to the end of the room, you discreetly dropped your head to check the stalls. No one. Good. Leaning your weight over the stone sink, you looked at yourself in the mirror.
What were you doing? One touch from Joel and you fall apart?
You released a breathless laugh and shook your head at yourself; you were in over your head, but at the same time a bubble of relief sat in your throat. He was here after all, he wanted to explain himself, and you knew that deep down you wanted to hear it.   
When you made your way back to the table, something in the air had changed. “There she is,” your uncle said, gathering his jacket, “Ready to go?”
“Um…” You looked to Joel, but something about him looked different. His shoulders looked tense, the cigarette pinched between his fingers were close to burning out, but it was his face when he looked at you that made you worried. The previous tenderness gone, replaced by a clenched jaw and eyes that wouldn’t meet yours.
“Actually, Joel said–”
He cut you off, “I’m gonna stay for another drink…”
His words dropped to the pit your stomach where they weighed you down, your feet frozen to the tiled floor. When Joel still didn’t look at you as he handed you your jacket and purse, you knew something was clearly wrong. Beside you your uncle crowded your space. His hand landed on your shoulder where it rubbed harshly into your skin, almost possessive as his eyes locked on Joel in a way that said, ‘good man’.
“I’ll drive you home, sweetie.”
With a hand resting at your back, your uncle guided you out the restaurant without as much as a mutter of goodbye to Joel. You looked back at him, not once but twice, but he still didn’t look at you – his eyes were glued to the foam of his beer as you vanished out the door.
Back inside your uncle’s rental car you were quiet, sitting with your thoughts as they swirled around your head. You’d been so close to believing Joel; that he was actually sorry, that he wanted to apologize. But once again you’d been a fool. Leaning your head against the window you felt so silly– silly for getting your hopes up.
“I– uh,” your uncle cleared his throat, “That Joel back there, sweetie, he’s not who he says he is.”
Lifting your head you turned to your uncle with a frown, “I don’t–”
Your uncle cut you off, “I don’t want to be telling you this– lord knows I don’t want your aunt knowing about this but…”
You watched how your uncle’s grip tightened around the steering wheel, his nervousness infecting you. What was he talking about?
“But what?” Your voice rose an octave, as you let out a nervous breath.
“Joel does porn,” your uncle revealed. He said it all dramatic, like he was in a movie and this scene was the turning point for your character. You had to restrain yourself to hide the laugh tickling your throat as he continued, “I thought he looked familiar, and– jesus, don’t you ever tell anybody about this but… he’s in a couple of movies I keep in the basement.”
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your eyes staring straight ahead down the road. You cringed at the new atmosphere settling in the car, stuffy with embarrassment and a picture of your uncle getting off to Joel stuck to your retinas. You wanted to hurl, this new picture not something you’d ever want to visualize. You were quiet as the revelation settled, your brain searching for words, but it was like they’d all fallen out your ears.
“Listen,” he cleared his throat of the discomfort, “I don’t know what he is to you, if he’s your boyfriend or what–”
“He’s not,” you squeaked, ready for this conversation to be over.
“I saw him kissing you when I stepped out of the toilets,” your uncle accused sternly, a biting lilt to his voice.
“Kiss me? I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you protested, confused about how he’d gotten it in his head that Joel had kissed you.
“Don’t you raise your voice at me,” he started to yell, “I saw it with my own two eyes, don’t you go lying to me.”
Your heart picked up its pace, all the blood in your body turning to ice in your veins. Pressing your lips together in a thin line, you fought to hold back the tears threatening to spill.
“I don’t want you seeing him anymore– that kinda filth he’s involved in…” he shook his head, “it’s sinful and I don’t want him getting you involved in that.” Your uncle’s voice was stern, words spat through gritted teeth.
You were frozen in your seat. Your heart beating so fast you thought it might burst through your ribcage. You didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say. All too quickly you were transported back home, back to who you used to be. You drew a shaky breath as a single tear spilled down your cheek.
“What would your parents say if they knew what you were doing down here? Who your friends were? That Deborah? Did you see how short her dress was? The city of sin this is,” your uncle continued as he pulled into the parking lot outside your apartment complex.
With eyes glued to your hands, you couldn’t get a single word to come out of your mouth – like they were stuck to the back of your throat where they formed a painful lump. After parking the car, your uncle turned to you, a finger brushing over your cheek in a suffocating touch.
“Sweetie,” he started, voice gone softer, “I’m worried about you. You’re out here all alone– all alone with all this temptation. Wouldn’t it be nice if you came back home with me, hm? Get you back where you belong?”
"I–..."
The words stayed stuck in your throat, unable to rise over the anxiety that gripped you at the thought of returning home to your parents. How different your life would be, back to the way it used to be, an old prison you'd hoped you'd left far behind you. Yet you felt numb, finding yourself incapable of uttering a single word of protest as your uncle nodded self-righteously. 
"I think that's the best, sweetie," he told you, his tone sounding entirely too convinced, "Tell you what Hon. . . I'm gonna be driving back down tomorrow, and I'll be damned if you aren't sitting in this seat all safe right next to me, alright? So why don't you go and pack your stuff and a bag, and I'll be by in the afternoon to pick you up?"
You said nothing, the rising panic in your throat rendering you almost paralyzed. Your fingers desperately reached for the car door handle; you needed to get out of this car. 
Unaware of your distress, your uncle bid you a contented 'See you later' as you stepped out of his car, slamming the door shut. 
Finally, he drove off. You watched him disappear with a knot in your stomach until he was just a tiny dot on the horizon, wishing he would stay that way as you tried desperately not to throw up your dinner in the parking lot.
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“Hello?”
The electric static of your voice filled Joel with a deep sense of relief. His grip around the phone handset tightened as he forced out a clumsy, “It’s Joel.”
The sigh you sent down the phone tickled up his spine, but before you could say anything Joel continued, “I just wanted to apologize to you… for last night.”
He’d felt awful all through the night and into the morning. He’d fucked it up again. Letting you leave like that last night was the hardest thing he’d done in a long while. Had you not gone to the bathroom and left him with your uncle, none of this would’ve happened.
You sighed again, “All you do is apologize Joel, but do you ever mean it?”
Joel face contracted into a grimace, “I do, sweet girl, you don’t know how much I mean it,”
“Joel…” your voice sounded pained, and it shattered something inside him. He just wanted you to be happy, and loved, and taken care of, but all he’d done was hurt you, again and again.
“It doesn’t matter how much you mean it Joel… none of it matters anymore.” The tone of your voice scared him.
“What d’you mean, sweetheart?” he hurried.
“It’s just… you don’t need to worry about me anymore, Joel– I’m leaving LA tonight.”
Joel felt his heart drop to his stomach, a rising panic bubbling under his skin as he stumbled out, “What are you talkin’ about, sweet girl?”
“I’m going back home tonight. I-I don’t know when I’ll be back– if I’m coming back. Joel, I can’t be your assistant anymore.”
“Fuck being my assistant!” he spoke through gritted teeth, holding back from yelling out in panic, “What d’you mean you’re leavin’?” Joel’s voice faltered as his heart caught up with what was about to happen.
He was gonna lose you. You would never be his. He was losing the first girl he thought he could really love. The girl he wanted a future with. Hell, the girl he could see himself grow old with. Joel knew it was fast, way too fast to be feeling like this about you, but right now, all those shitty romance novels about finding ‘the one’, all those weeping love songs about love at first sight – after you, they didn’t seem so stupid anymore.
“Joel, it’s– it’s okay.” Your voice had gone soft, but he could still hear the strain of hurt in it.
“It’s not, sweet girl, nothin’ about this is okay.” Joel’s eyes fell shut, his thumb and pointer finger coming up to squeeze at the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t lose you. “I’m comin’ over– We can’t be doin’ this over the phone.”
“Joel,” you sighed.
“I’m comin’ over,” he reiterated, and hung up.
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You were carrying a bag to your car when you saw Joel’s car pull into the parking lot. He must’ve noticed you right away as he’d hastily parked next to your own car – his wheels screeched against the asphalt. As you made your way across the parking lot, you watched how he almost jumped out the car like he was in a hurry, coming around the back to fill the space between your cars.
“Joel– you really didn’t have to come all the way out here,” you told him when you got close enough, stepping past him to place your last bag in your back seat. He leaned his hand on your door, holding it open for you, his broad form shielding you from the blazing afternoon sun.
Inside, your apartment was left half-empty. You’d left most of your things, only bringing your clothes, your pictures, your records and your record player, and your books. 
You didn’t need much more where you were going.
The thought still made your stomach turn in on itself, the dread of going back home had trickled down your back ever since last night. But what choice did you have? It was either your parents finding out about your job and Joel, or going back home. You knew your uncle; he’d never keep this a secret if you didn’t do as he said. If your parents found out it would be over for you. You didn’t even want to think about it; they’d disown you if they were feeling nice, or send you to an asylum if they were feeling extra nice. If you didn’t go now, they’d never let you come home again, and it scared you, you were already on thin ice for moving to LA in the first place.
“Are you just gonna pretend this isn’t your uncle’s idea?” Joel’s voice had a bite to it, and it caught you off guard. Standing to your full height you raised a hand to shield your eyes from the sun. His face wore none of the anger you’d heard in his voice, instead there was a veil of sadness coating his features.
“I– Why do you think that?” You tried to keep your voice steady, normal, you didn’t want him to hear how scared you were.
“’Cause of what he told me back at the restaurant,” he closed your car door, “told me he knew who I really was and to stay away from you– he didn’t want me taintin’ you with my filth.”
Your eyes fell shut as your hand came up to rub at your forehead. So that’s what happened yesterday? Letting your hand fall, your eyes fell over Joel’ face; over his neat mustache that tickled you in just the right way whenever he kissed you, over his soft curls he’d let grow out the last couple of months, and over his eyes. His brown eyes now swirling with something you hadn’t seen in them before. Shame?  
“I done fucked it up haven’t I– you associatin’ with me? He’s takin’ you back to your daddy, ‘s that it?” When he met your eyes they softened, a veil of his regular self now concealing that blink of insecurity.  
You shook your head as a lump grew at the back of your throat, “You just– you don’t understand Joel.” The words came out strained as you felt tears push behind your eyelids.
“Hey,” Joel softened immediately, his hand wrapping gently around your upper arm and sending a warmth through your body. “You’re okay, sweet girl, tell me what I don’t understand.”
He stepped a little closer, but not too close, his hand traveled up your arm in a soothing gesture. Your eyes fell shut again, squeezing them tight to stave off your tears. You’ve never talked about it before with anybody. Never talked about your family and how trapped you’d felt by their rules and their expectations; the guilt they’d instilled in you for never being able to live up to the person they wanted you to be.
You shook your head, “I don’t think I can,” you half-whispered.
“Sweetheart, I– I know I fucked it up with you, and I know I ain’t your boyfriend or nothin’, but I do care for you– I care for you more than you think. I wanna be there for you when somethin’s wrong. So please, tell me what’s wrong.”
Slowly opening your eyes, you looked at him. Those warm like whiskey eyes staring at you with concern and with a hint of something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Adoration? Fondness? Love?
“My uncle will be back soon,” you said, voice low, “he wants to get on the road before dark.”
“’s that really what you want?” he asked then, his hand slipping from your arm.
“It’s– it’s complicated, Joel.”
A sigh escaped him, as he ran a hand over his face, “Yeah… I just wish you weren’t leavin’– wish it didn’t have to end like this.”
He didn’t look like himself. Eyes shining with sadness, and that usual cocky lilt to his voice gone, exchanged by something low and strangled. His face contorted into a crooked smile, his shoulders shaking with an unhumorous breathy laugh as he shook his head.
“Shit–”, he snickered, “life’s cruel sometimes… you finally fall in love with a girl and then…” he shook his head.
You felt like you’d been hit by a truck. Fall in love? In love with you? Joel didn’t look at you, his hand rubbed at the back of his neck as he started to walk away, rounding the tail of his car.
“Fall in love?” you asked, hands falling to your side in shock, “with me?”
Joel stopped at your voice, “Couldn’t help it,” he shrugged with a sad smile.
Those tears you’d fought so hard to stave off finally broke loose, a single tear running down your cheek – the tear in the dam of your sadness. Joel’s arms were around you in an instance, strong and steady. He held you so close to his broad chest, that familiar scent of cologne mixed with cigarettes making a sob escape you as you realized you’d never be able to be this close to him ever again.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled into his shirt.
Joel’s grip around you tightened as he dipped his head against your cheek, “Why are you apologizin’, sweet girl? I’m the one who’s sorry.”
“I don’t want to leave,” you whispered; your tears staining his shirt.
“Then don’t– stay,” Joel said, soothing a hand across your back.
“I-I can’t– they’ll… they’ll hate me if they find out.”
“Find out about what, sweet girl?”
“You… the porn… everything. He’ll tell them and I’ll never be able to come home again,” you cried into his shirt.
“Okay,” Joel sighed, loosening his grip around you, “let’s go back to my place– we should talk.”
“But my uncle–” you started to protest, but Joel cut you off.
“He doesn’t decide over you, sweet girl, you make your own decisions– you hear me?”
His hands found your face, his massive palms holding you gently as he rubbed his thumbs down your cheek, drying your tears. You could only nod.
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You’d never been inside Joel’s house before, you realized, as you trailed after him up the steps to his front door. He lived in one of those houses at the top of a long hill where he had the most incredible view over LA. You knew porn paid him the big bucks, but he’d been sensible when it came to his home – well, sensible for LA. 
It was a one-story house in the shape of an U; inside, the hallway opened up to a living room where big glass doors framed his back yard and a kidney shaped pool. Warm, dark toned wood paneling clad his walls and made the space feel masculine, but inviting.
With a hand hovering over your back he guided you towards his couch. “D’you want a cup of tea?” Joel asked you as you sat down on his leather couch. He looked nervous where he stood, palms running down the side of his leg like he didn’t know what to do with them. It was contagious.
“Um, okay,” you nodded, shifting a little in your seat and folding your hands in your lap.
Waiting for Joel to come back from the kitchen you tried to steady your stuttering heart. You’d been mostly silent on the drive over, trying to wrap your head around the fact that Joel was in love with you – the fact never seeming to stick to your brain in the right way.
It felt ridiculous – Joel, a successful pornstar, being in love with you. But stacked on top of his confession was the fact that Joel was a pornstar – making a living out of having sex with other women. You didn’t understand how exactly it bothered you, but you knew that it did somewhere deep down – but then again did you have any right to be bothered by it if it paid your bills.
“Didn’t know if you took sugar or not so I brought the bowl.” Joel pulled you from your thoughts, placing a steaming cup of tea and a small crystal bowl filled with sugar on the coffee table in front of you.
“Thank you,” you smiled meekly, your hand finding the string to bop the teabag as you watched the steaming water turn darker.
You felt the cushion dip as Joel sat down, a seat of absence between you. 
The air felt loaded. Loaded with the week left behind you. Loaded with Joel’s lingering confession. Loaded with the uncertain future. Joel watched your hands, eyes fixed but far away.
“I… uh,” Joel cleared his throat as he searched for his words. “I wanna apologize to you for– for everythin’ that happened at work on Monday.”
You felt yourself not, drawing back your hands to rest them in your lap, a finger clumsily picking at your nailbed.
“There ain’t no excuse for how I was actin’– for the things I said… truth is, the way I feel about you, I’ve never felt like this with anyone before. You make–” Joel tipped his head, a smile coating his lips, “you make everythin’ just brighter– like everythin’ will be alright as long as I have you… And I know this all feels fast, but I’ve been crazy ‘bout you since I first laid my eyes on you. I ain’t ever believed in that ‘love at first sight’ crap but,” Joel hesitated, like the words hung at the tip of his tongue but wouldn’t let go.
“But?” you encouraged.
“I think I do now.”
His words tasted so bitter and so sweet. Tipping your head downwards your eyes found your hands.
“Joel…” you shook your head, trying to will the words to form. “This… I don’t understand.”
“What ain’t you understandin’, sweet girl?” He shifted his weight, leaning closer but still maintaining a respectful distance.
“Why me?” You looked up from your lap, eyebrows pulled together in a frown.
“Are you kiddin’ me?” He breathed out in shock.
“I mean, you’re Joel Packer– you can have any girl you want… and I guess you already do– at work.” You swallowed around the growing lump in your throat, tears pushing behind your eyelids.
“Well, I ain’t in love with all those other girls, am I?” His voice was gentle; the words escaping like they were the easiest words in the world.
Your tears pushed their way forward, trailing down your cheeks like curving rivers. Joel instantly moved closer, the familiar warmth of his body against your side made the tears run faster.
“Hey, my sweet girl, it’s okay, baby, it’s alright,” he cooed, pulling you into his embrace.
“It’s not, Joel… I don’t know what to do,” you sobbed into his shoulder.
“Tell me and we’ll figure it out together,” he pulled away to cup your head in his hands, thumbs wiping away your tears, “just tell me, baby.”
You watched his face, your eyes dancing over his features, drinking him in. Drawing a deep breath, you told Joel everything. You told him about your parents and your upbringing, their rules and their expectations. How they’d wanted you to be the perfect student, the perfect daughter, and someday the perfect wife. You told him why you’d moved to LA in the first place – to run from it all, from the guilt and shame they instilled in you for never being what they wanted. Joel held you in his arms as you emptied your feelings. He let you speak, humming at the right moments and squeezing you tighter when it was extra emotional for you.
“And now my uncle’s gonna tell them about you and the porn and–” you spoke fast, stumbling over your words, “they’ll disown me– I know it or worse they’ll come and get me… send me somewhere,” you sobbed.
“Heyheyhey,” Joel shifted his hold on you. You’d sunk into the couch as he’d let you talk, your feet slung over his lap as he held you close. Now he sat up, turning your body to face him, eyes locked with yours. “Listen, baby– they ain’t takin’ you anywhere, you hear me? You’re an adult– you’re your own person now!”
“I know I’m askin’ a lot of you– you’re afraid of losin’ your family– I understand! Believe me I do.” His head tipped against your forehead, nose brushing gently against yours. “My folks, they—... well they ain’t talkin’ to me anymore. Don’t matter how famous I am, I’m a sinner to them.”
“Joel, I’m sorry,” you whispered, your heart aching for him.
“Ain’t nothin’ to be sorry about– it’s in the past and I got Tommy…” he trailed off, lifting his head, one large hand cupping your cheek. “Listen, my sweet girl, you’re the only girl I want. I want you to stay, but I want you to stay for your own sake. There ain’t nothin’ you owe your folks, okay? And I promise you I’ll always be there for you!”
For once you didn’t think.
Leaning closer you brushed your lips against Joel’s, and it made all the walls inside you break down. Humming in surprise he stalled before he relaxed against you, pulling you closer, his hand pressed into your cheek. There was no air, only Joel. His mustache tickled your upper lip and cupid’s bow in just the right way, and you realized just how much you’d missed him.
The kiss was languid like molasses, pulling you apart and putting you together again. Your hand found his neck, fingers curling into the hair at the back of his neck – tethering yourself to him. He broke away from your kiss, pressing soft tender kisses along your jaw, his hand brushing down the column of your neck.
“Come sit in my lap, sweet girl,” he whispered into your skin and a rush of electricity sped through your body. His hand fell to your waist while the other grabbed at the thick of your thigh – maneuvering you to straddle him.
“There you go, my good girl,” he praised, his hands rubbing it into your skin. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Joel leaned forward, pressing soft kisses to the spot where your jaw met your neck.
“Joel, I– ah!” you gasped as he brushed his tongue over that sensitive spot behind your ear. You felt his smile against your skin, teeth nipping at your sensitive skin before his lips brushed over your drumming pulse. He kissed his way along your jaw, nose bumping into yours as he hovered before your lips – daring you to kiss him again.
You took the bait, eyes flicking down to his lips before you pressed your own against him. You didn’t have much experience with love but being this close to Joel felt so right. Maybe this was what love was, you thought. 
“I think I’m in love with you,” you mumbled against his lips, your words swallowed by his kiss. A wide smile blossomed across Joel’s face at your words, and soon you were kissing teeth.
“Whatchu sayin’, sweet girl?” he grinned, raising one eyebrow at you as he leaned back.
You had to fight not to roll your eyes at him, at how he always found a way to playfully tease you. You weren’t joking though – you meant it, you really did.
“I’m in love with you too,” you told him sincerely, “I don’t know how to be in love, so you’ll have to be patient with me, but I’m yours if you’ll have me.”
“I’ll always want you, sweet girl, always,” he promised, sealing it with a chaste kiss.
“I uh, I think I need to quit being your assistant too,” you said, biting your lip. “I can’t– I don’t really want to see you with other women… you can tell me about work, but I don’t want to see it.”
Joel squeezed your waist gently before rubbing soft circles over the spot. “That’s okay– thank you for tellin’ me,” he nodded, “I’ll talk to Ronald ‘n see if he knows if there’s any assistant jobs for you over in Hollywood.”
You slowly shook your head, “Ronald is a piece of shit.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Joel chuckled, leaning his head against the back of the couch, “But he’s connected, and very convincin’.”
“He’d never do that for me,” you said.
“But he’ll do it for me– I’m his favorite client,” he grinned, leaning forward to cup your chin, before pulling his hand away.
“You just make him a lot of money,” you countered with a shrug, still sitting pretty in his lap.
“Do I now?” Joel asked, leaning closer with a cocky grin, “’n how do I do that, sweet girl?”
“Joel,” you sighed as his lips brushed over yours in another quick peck.
“Listen,” he started, “It’s been a long time since I’ve dated anyone ‘n I won’t lie, last time it got complicated ‘cause of my job. You know what the job entails, but I need you to talk to me– we need to be communicatin’, you need to tell me ‘f somethin’s wrong– just like you’re doing so well for me right now.”
“Ok, Joel,” you nodded, wrapping your arms around him and resting your head on his shoulder.
“Thank you, sweet girl,” he mumbled, placing a soft kiss to your temple.
You stayed like that for seconds, minutes, hours, you didn’t know. But it felt nice to be so close, to just be in each other’s company, to enjoy being so in tune with another person without any ulterior motive. You didn’t know when, or who started it, but his lips were back over yours, moving in a perfect rhythm. Slow and drawn out, enjoying every second of being this close. When his tongue darted over your bottom lip, the kiss got messier, more passionate, like either of you couldn’t get enough of the other.
Under you, you felt Joel’s cock harden, the feel of what you did to him making your cunt ache for him. His capable hands had explored your clothed body, rubbing softly over the dips and curves before they’d landed on your ass. With a gentle rock, he’d moved you back and forth over him, catching your every moan with his mouth as your clit caught on his growing bulge.
It felt so good. Joel felt so good.
He moved you expertly over him, edging you closer to an edge you didn’t think you could reach this fast, your arousal soiling your panties with every grind. The kiss got sloppy, and you broke away, content little sighs escaping your mouth as you buried your face in Joel’s neck. He was everywhere. The scent of him, his warmth, his hard cock underneath you– it was all too much, and Joel knew it. Tightening his grip on your ass, he bucked his hips to meet your grinding, and you snapped. Mewling into his neck, you withered in his lap, legs shaking with your orgasm.
“Joel,” you managed to moan between the white hot ecstasy.
“There you go, baby– good girl, come for me, just like that,” he encouraged, rubbing his hand down your back in gentle strokes. His heavy hand rested over your back, pressing soft kisses to your temple as you came down, cooing at the aftershock.
With your mind somewhat back on earth you lifted your head from the home you’d made in his neck to place a soft kiss to his lips. Meanwhile your hands slipped between your bodies, clumsy fingers fiddling with the buttons on his jeans.
Joel broke your kiss, “Not here.” Confused, you pulled away, your eyebrows meeting in a furrow. “Let me fuck you properly… in my bed.”
Stumbling back into his hallway, your hands linked, he led you to his bedroom. His decorating was simple: a king-sized bed placed up against the back wall, paired with more of those large floor-to-ceiling windows gave him a view out into his backyard. An art piece hung above his bed, which looked suspiciously like a Warhol, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it with Joel’s hands on you.
He took his time undressing you– one painstaking item at a time, dotting kisses to each new piece of skin revealed. You were practically swimming in your arousal by the time he got to your panties. He had that look in his eyes, something dark and filled with lust as he sank to his knees before you. Never breaking eye contact, Joel leaned in, his lips brushing over the soft spot below your belly button – it made goosebumps prickle across your skin, and a hitch of breath to get stuck in your throat.  His lips skated downwards, running along the elastic of your panties, teeth nipping at the bow in the center.
It was like time stood still. Outside the setting sun filled Joel’s bedroom with a golden hue, and bathed him a soft warmth. The way he looked at you sent bolts of electricity through your body, into every nerve ending. He was everywhere, and you wanted him everywhere, wanted him inside.
His fingertips grazed the side of your thighs, finding the thin sides of your panties. His eyes locked with yours and you nodded along with a breathless, “Yes,” before he pulled them down. A smile filled with cocky happiness spread across his features when he hit a bit of a snag, your arousal and previous orgasm making the fabric stick to your cunt.
After helping you step out of your panties, Joel sat back on his heels as he admired you. His tight jeans clung to his thighs and your eyes couldn’t help but trail over him; over his strong muscles, his impressive bulge, his signature belt buckle and his scarlet red shirt with the deep V, straining against his shoulders. Naked and bare for him, he took in your body, those warm whiskey eyes memorizing every inch of it. The rough skin of his hand made you keen under his touch where it skated up your leg, following your form and parting your legs for him. Hooking his hand under your thigh, Joel placed it over his shoulder giving him a perfect view of your wet cunt, while your fingers found his curls to keep yourself steady.
“Look at this pretty pussy,” he whispered almost to himself, “it’s all messy f’me ain’t it?” He dragged his lips along your inner thigh, dark eyes locked with yours.
“Y-yes,” you managed to stutter out – your whole body alight under his touch.
“Yes, it is, baby,” he underlined his words with a finger swiping through your soaked folds, the sound filling the space between you. “You hear? Hear how messy?”
A heat traveled up your neck to your cheeks, making them burn under his playful teasing. “Joel,” you whined, your fingers tightening your grip on his curls. He continued his teasing, placing wet kisses to the inside of your other thigh. The coarse hair of his mustache brushing against the sensitive skin in just the right way. 
“Fuck,” he whispered against your skin, “you gonna let me take care of ya, sweet girl? Gonna let me show you I’m only yours?”
You were nodding even before he’d finished his sentence, “Yes,” you sighed. The ache between your legs burned so bright it almost hurt.
With your permission, Joel closed the teasing distance, and buried his face between your legs. He started with a kiss directly to your clit, before he dipped lower to taste you properly. Small and breathy sighs escaped your lips, your other hand not in his hair falling to his shoulder to keep you from keeling over.
The flat of his tongue lapped at the seam of your cunt, collecting your arousal on your tongue, as he hummed in contentment. It felt too good. He always made you feel so good. When the tip of his tongue teased your hole, you had to bite down on your bottom lip to fight back the moan about to escape you. Pressing your heel into his back, your body bucked by its own will, meeting the swipes and zigzags of his tongue.
“Joel,” you gasped when he found your clit again, a tense arousal building in your core. Spurred on by your noises, Joel sucked at your sensitive bud, laving his tongue over it in lazy strokes.
“Fuck,” you whispered, breath hitching in your throat as you squeezed your eyes shut from the ecstasy. You were close now, your second orgasm approaching fast in Joel’s capable hands– or tongue.
“C’mon, baby,” he spoke between laps over your clit, urging you on, “come all over my tongue.”
A hand slid up to your ass, holding you flush to his face as you started to wither above him. His cheeks were warm from your soft thighs, his mustache slick with your arousal as he brought you closer and closer.
“There she goes, good girl,” he said with a ragged puff, encouraging you when the dam finally broke. His grip on your ass tightened, keeping you upright, as your whole body started to shake with your orgasm. Your grip on his hair was tight, tethering yourself to Joel, as you whimpered out breathy moans. Your hips bucked into his mouth, and the heel you dug into his back must’ve hurt, but your mind was entirely elsewhere, lost in the pleasure he was giving you.
He pressed soft kisses to the fold where your thigh started as the aftershocks coursed through you, holding you steady while your chest heaved for breath as you tried to calm down.
“Joel,” you sighed contently, your hand brushing over his hair. He didn’t pull away like you thought he’d do, instead he placed another kiss to your sensitive clit. You jumped at the touch, a giggle catching in your throat.
“I’m not done witchu, sweet girl.” You could feel the smile against your skin, the way his lips smoothed the exposed surface, the sweetness of his smile practically dripping down your legs.
He helped you slide your leg off his shoulder, his big hands framing your waist as he rose from the floor with a restrained grunt. He looked a mess. Hair pulled in all directions, mustache glistening with your wetness and cheeks smeared with your arousal. Seeing what you’d done to him, you felt your cheeks heat up.
With his hands around your waist, he walked you backwards, until the back of your legs hit the end of the bed. He was crowding your space now, the familiar scent of him now mixed with you sent your brain into a mushy state. He pushed you forward gently, and you fell down on his bed, bouncing slightly.
Joel towered over you, still completely dressed. The thought of how bare you were for him, while he was still fully clothed, sent a tingle down your tummy to your core. He had the upper hand, and it felt good. It felt good to let him take control, to be able to shut your brain off for a while, to know he would take care of you.
Across his face, Joel wore his signature cocky grin as he stepped closer to the edge of the bed, the hardwood floor creaking slightly with ever step. You dipped your head to your shoulder, looking up at him through your lashes, and it made his smile wider. He stalked over you, his hand curling around your ankle before he playful yanked you towards him. A yelp fell from your lips, before a giggle broke lose.
“Oh, you ain’t gonna be gigglin’ like that when I’m done witchu,” he teased, lowering himself over your body.
“W-what are you gonna do to me?” you asked breathlessly as Joel dipped down to nip at the skin below your collarbone.
A deep chuckle rumbled across your skin between his kisses, “Gonna make you come, and come and come, sweet girl– wanna feel you squeezin’ around cock– make you forget your own name.”
“Shit, Joel,” you stuttered out as his lips closed around your nipple, “I-I haven’t–”
He cut you off, “That ain’t matter to me, sweet girl, I know you’ll be good f’me.”
And he was right; you wanted nothing more than to be good for him.
He kissed a trail down the valley of your breasts, across your tummy and the dip of your belly button until he reached your mound. Joel got comfortable on his knees, hooking his arms under your legs to manhandle you the way he wanted, spreading your thighs, and putting your wet cunt on display for him.
“Sweet fuckin’ pussy,” he pulled back and spat, and you felt the way his spit dripped down your clit, “Sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted.”
With his thumb he smeared his spit through your folds, not that you needed it, you were plenty wet from your two previous orgasms. You jumped under him when he brushed your clit, puffed and sensitive as it was, and it made him chuckle.
“You’re so sensitive, aren’t you, sweet girl?” he coaxed, putting more pressure on your clit with his thumb.
Your moan got caught in your throat as you hurried to answer him, “Y-yes, Joel, so sensitive.” Heat and arousal flushed through your body, traveling through your bloodstream, and shading the world in a rose-tinted hue.
Another chuckle escaped Joel before he ducked down and brought his lips to your clit, while two of his fingers teased down your folds to edge at your opening. You felt your hole clench in anticipation, as a whimpering moan fell from your lips.
“This hole is just drippin’ for me ain’t it?” he teased, voice muffled by his lips around your clit.
You couldn’t think, so consumed by his touch and the way he made you feel. You managed to nod and breathe out a “Yes.” Joel hummed around your clit, the vibrations edging you on as his fingers prodded at your entrance.
Pushing forward he thrusted his fingers inside. It was a snug fit, but your arousal dripping over his knuckles made it easy. He immediately curled his fingers, expertly prodding at that sensitive spot inside that made you squirm underneath him and buck your hips involuntarily.  
“Shh,” Joel soothed you, fingers still pushing up, hitting something that made your leg shake involuntarily as he circled them against the delicate flesh.
Shit. Fuck.
You mewled, whiny breaths falling from your lips as you hurled quickly towards the edge, again. Joel didn’t let up, thrusting his fingers expertly into that perfectly sensitive spot. When your right leg couldn’t stop shaking, he slung his other arm over your stomach, keeping you in place for him.
“That’s it, sweet girl, that’s your g-spot, honey,” he cooed between lapping and sucking at your clit, “Are you gonna come again, baby? You can let go– ‘s okay.”
The added pressure of his arm sent your hurling towards your release. Your back arched off his bed at a particular perfect thrust; your breath coming out panting and breathless.
“Joel–” you heaved, “J-Joel, I-I’m—,” you couldn’t finish your thought. You clenched around his fingers, a pressure building like you’d never felt before – you felt like you were about to explode.
Joel sucked hard on your clit before he moved his lips off with a soft pop, “C’mon, honey,” he coaxed, stopping his thrusting fingers to massage at your g-spot, “Be a good girl f’me and come all over my fingers.”
With his permission you came with a silent cry, eyes squeezed tight as your whole body arched off the bed, your head pressed tightly into the mattress as you let it wash over you. It was like your body clenched and released all at the same time. Small tears trickled down your temples, your body shaking from the force of your orgasm. You gushed over his fingers, and Joel pulled his fingers from your wasted hole at the exact right moment, right as a stream of liquid released.
You were somewhere else entirely, floating away on a cloud of ecstasy you’d never felt before – the feeling so intense, it made your eyes roll back. Beside you, you felt the bed dip. Still shaking from your orgasm, you heaved for your breath, trying to come down. Joel’s arms snaked their way around you, pushing you against his body as he cooed and hushed you.
“You’re alright, sweet girl,” he mumbled against your temple, “squirting all over my hand like a good girl.”
“Joel, I–” You were still catching your breath, still reeling from the intensity.
“You’re ok, baby.” 
He held you close until you’d fully calmed down, and your heartbeat had steadied. You let yourself be held, to just be. Joel pressed absentminded kisses to your skin. One on your cheek, another to the pulse of your neck, a third to your collarbone. He was amazing. He was yours.
“Thank you, Joel,” you finally spoke, “I’ve– I’ve never done that before, it… it felt really good.”
Joel pressed another kiss to your cheek, “You’re welcome, baby– you looked so fuckin’ hot comin’ like that.” 
He pressed another kiss to your cheek before he pulled away. Standing to his feet he stretched his back with a groan. You watched how his muscles moved underneath his shirt. He must’ve felt you watching him as he sent you a cocky smile over his shoulder before he padded towards the door of his en suite.
You turned onto your stomach, your eyebrows pulling together in a furrow as you asked him, “Where are you going?”
“Just gonna getchu ya somethin’ to clean up with,” he explained, nodding his head towards his en suite.
“But…” you trailed off, eyes flicking sheepishly towards his bulge, his cock rock hard and straining against his jeans.
He caught your eye, his trademark cocky smirk spreading. Joel turned his body towards you, and let you ogle him as he crept towards you. “But, what?” he questioned, one teasing eyebrow raised.
“What about…” you bit your lip, heat flushing your cheeks. He’d made you squirt for fucks sake, and you still couldn’t ask him for his cock.
“What about what?” he teased, standing at the end of the bed, his hard cock now eye level with how you were sitting. He watched you from above, how you flicked your eyes from his face to his cock, trying to tell him what you wanted without saying the words.
“You want more, greedy girl?” he questioned, cupping your cheek and angling your face towards him, “You want my cock, don’t you?”
You nodded in his hand, big moony eyes looking up at him. Joel shifted his weight, his hand traveling from your cheek to your chin, letting his thumb run over it in a smooth motion.
“Take my clothes off,” he ordered.
Sitting up on your knees, your hands started fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. Above you, Joel watched you – warm eyes studying you. Unbuttoning the last button, you placed a nervous hand to his chest, right above his heart. Under your palm you felt it beat, fast paced, but steady. With a scrunch of your face, you looked to him.
“Yeah,” he chuckled, fitting his own hand over yours, “I’m crazy ‘bout you, sweet girl.” He dipped his head to fit a soft kiss to your lips.
He helped you with the rest of his clothes. His shirt hitting the floor first, then followed by his belt and his jeans, and lastly his socks. Clad only in his white briefs, you took him in. His handsome face, his neat mustache, his tanned skin and broad shoulders, but most importantly (at least in this moment), his aching cock.
“Take it out f’me,” he ordered.
Obeying his command, your fingers dug into the elastic. His rock hard cock strained desperately against the cotton, a wet spot had formed where the head was, turning the fabric translucent from precum. You pulled his briefs down his legs, his impressive cock springing free to bob in front of your face. Joel stepped out of his underwear, kicking them across the floor to the pile with his other clothes.
You moved up the bed as he crawled over you, parting your legs for him to fit between as you laid back against his fluffy pillows, the scent of him overwhelming. His cock rubbed against your cunt, the head catching on your clit as he adjusted himself over you.
“This whatchu wanted, sweet girl?” he asked, guiding the tip through your folds, and coating himself in your arousal.
“Y-yes, Joel, please,” you begged, “want you.”
Between your legs he jerked himself off, spreading your wetness all over his cock, a slick wet sound squelching from his fist. Joel’s eyes trailed over your body before he shook his head.
“Sit up,” he said.
Confused, you did as he said, sitting up on your knees before him. Joel shifted on the bed, leaning his back against the headrest, his impressive cock standing to attention in his lap.
“C’mon baby, come take what’s yours,” he said, reaching his hand out to you and helping you straddle his thighs.
Looking between your bodies, you couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated. Each time you’d had sex, Joel was always the one in control, but now… Your teeth caught on your bottom lip, insecurity an uninvited guest in the home you’d made in Joel’s bed.
Warm hands cupped your cheeks then, lifting your head to meet his. “You’re alright, my sweet girl,” he told you, fitting his lips against yours, “wanna feel you squeezin’ my cock.”
With Joel’s guiding hands, you lifted yourself over him as he guided the head towards your entrance, the head of his cock pushing through your folds. “Take it slow ‘f ya need it,” he told you, reassuring you. With a timid nod, you shifted your weight slightly, steading yourself on your knees before you slowly sunk down on him.
Your mouth dropped open at the stretch, never really getting used to the size of him – even with the thorough prep he’d done to you. You took your time, easing yourself down on him one inch at a time till he was buried to the hilt in your cunt. He was so deep inside you in this position, you felt him in your tummy, too deep for a cock to reach.
“Shit,” you cursed with a whimper, feeling Joel’s thighs press against your bare ass.
“That’s it, good fuckin’ girl, knew you could do it– takin’ all that cock f’me,” he praised as you tried to adjust to the feeling of him reaching so deep inside you. His hand landed on the small of your back, pushing you closer to his chest and making you rock forward in his lap.
“Y-you’re so deep like this,” you stuttered, draping your arms around his shoulder to steady yourself as his cock hit a new angle inside you, and making you see stars.
“I know, sweet girl, I know– feels good, don’t it?” he cooed, and rocked you in his lap again. Your clit caught in the coarse hair at the base of his cock, and it made a gush of arousal drip down his cock.
You nodded your head desperately. It felt good, it felt really good.
“Why don’t ya bounce on it f’me, honey– make yourself come.”
Again, you obeyed.
You started slow, inching upwards just a tad before grinding down on him again, working yourself up and down his length at your own pace. Below you, Joel watched you closely, a lazy smile spread across his face. His hand on your waist helped guide you, and soon you were bouncing on his cock like an eager little bunny.
“Fuck,” you cursed between moans.
The drag of his cock inside you felt like nothing you’d ever felt before. Love and ecstasy and pleasure – all mixed up into one infatuated feeling. Under you, Joel groaned unabashedly. The noises he made, deep and rugged as he started to meet your bouncing with his own thrusts, building a rising rhythm of pleasure.
“Feel so fuckin’ good, baby,” he groaned, “squeezin’ my cock so good.”
“Uh-uh,” you nodded, mind gone completely blank.
The feeling of him filling you just right with every thrust and hitting that special spot inside you, were almost too much to handle. Your thighs burned with the effort, and you didn’t know how much more you could take before he was hurling you over the edge for the fourth time.
“You gonna come again, sweet girl? Gonna be my good girl and give me ’nother? Give that big cock a nice squeeze?” he encouraged.
You were far too gone to say anything coherent and when his thumb found your clit, you knew you were in trouble. Your legs shook from pleasure and the strain of your bouncing, and you fell forward, your head finding a home in his neck as you gasped. Joel worked quickly and expertly, shifting your weight on his lap so he could thrust into you from below. Breathy whiny moans escaped you in quick succession, and then you were falling apart for him with a cry.
“That’s my good girl,” he praised you through gritted teeth as you withered in his lap, squirming and gasping in his lap. Your walls fluttered and pulsed around his cock as you rode through your orgasm. Under you, Joel’s breath became shallower and his grunts more restrained, and even in your cloud of ecstasy you knew he was close.
“Fuck, ‘m comin’” he let out, quickly lifting you off his cock before he spilled hot cum onto your tummy and mound, his panting moan deep and guttural. It was hot and sticky and suffocating in a good way.
As the sun set over LA, you and Joel found refuge in each other under the pink and orange sky. Your panting breaths slowed to a still comforting silence as you held each other close, and you knew that there was nowhere else you’d rather be.
You had been unable to see it before, or simply just unwilling to let yourself see it, but the answer had been on the tip of your tongue all along. Joel had been the missing piece of your puzzle, the part you'd never even known you'd needed until he'd slotted himself securely into that space, completing your life in a way your family had never been able to. Being with Joel felt right, and if there was one thing you did know, was that no matter what your uncle said or did, or what your parents would think, you were done making sacrifices.  And so you laid in Joel's arms, your chest unraveling with the relief of the knowledge that for maybe the first time in your life, you were making a choice entirely for yourself, and that, given the chance, you would choose Joel, every day, for the rest of your life.
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and that's the end <3 if this was a movie we'd slowly fade to a drone shot of LA while cher's cover of "lay baby lay" starts playing as the credits roll over the cityscape.
i hope this was okay, and that the ending was satisfying and that you liked it? as always feedback as a comment, in the tags, as an ask or reply is very much appreciated, and they make me super happy! <3 i'm very curious to hear your thoughts about this! <3
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countingdots-tc · 4 months
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TEACHER/STUDENT BOOK RECS
*if you want me to add a forbidden romance list, let me know*
𓃠 This is a list with links to books that have teacher/student, age gap, and experienced/less experienced themes that I have read! These are in order from most recommended to least recommended based on my opinion.
𓃠 This will be updated as I read more! Think something should be added to the list, then let me know!
𓃠 To find the Age Gap/TeacherxStudent Movie list, click on the link on my pinned post!
⭐️= highly recommend/changed my life
😇= no smut
🌶️=contains smut
💦=read to really get your rocks off
highlighted=warning
PROFESSOR/COACH BOOK LIST
The Unrequited by Saffron A. Kent-⭐️😇
ProfessorxStudent & mental health themes
Cute little poet embarrassingly falls for her grumpy professor. Beautiful slow burn and perfectly describes what it feels like to want someone and not feel enough for them. She is such a realistic female lead and reminds me a lot of y’all 😂. This is THE teacher crush community book. If you don’t read anything read this!!
The Professor by Invi Wright-⭐️🌶️
ProfessorxStudent
Cute romance by young, new, and self published author. Very relatable female lead. If you enjoyed The Unrequited, you will like this book for all of the same reasons. Quick and easy read, only 240. She isn’t perfect, she clumsy, and I wouldn’t even say she’s socially awkward, she just a normal college student in her early 20s. She’s a fun narrator. This author has a lot of potential and her writing will only get better.
Gabriel’s Inferno by Slyvain Reynard-⭐️😇
ProfessorxStudent
Such a good dark academia book. Beautifully written and actually has a movie adaptation. I would definitely recommend this if you want a realistic couple but a bit more serious. Characters have so much depth
Off Balance Series by Lucia Franco- 💦
CoachxStudent
Warning: female lead is age of consent NOT legal age.
If you want something really forbidden and fucked up, read this. If you want the MOST insane sex scenes, read this (MINORS STOP). I really don’t even want to add this series to this list but for the girls who wanna go there, have fun. I started this when I was still in high school, read the 3rd one as an adult, it’s not as easy to read now. Take that info as you please
Lessons In Sin by Pam Goodwin-🌶️
TeacherxStudent with 18 Y.O female lead
Troubled rich girl gets sent off to a catholic boarding school and falls for the asshole Dean of the school. Smut is pretty good, plot works. I’m not going to say it’s bad, I think whether or not it’s enjoyable depends on the person. It wasn’t bad, I just wasn’t obsessed. If you’re just trying to live vicariously through her (aren’t we all), then it works!
Teach Me by L. L. Ash-🌶️
ProfessorxStudent
Really good start, and I do mean GREAT start… I just feel like the sex scene came too soon (Ch. 9/32) and it threw me off but I also like SUPER slow burns. It’s still a good book. I enjoyed the male love interest, Professor Harlo. They’re cute together. Grump and Sunshine.
Dark Notes by Pam Goodwin-
TeacherxStudent & themes of abuse
Probably DNF-ing
AGE GAP BOOK LIST
Something In The Way Series by Jessica Hawkins-⭐️😇
Sister’s Boyfriend/Husband & “I saw him first”
Most beautiful romance series I’ve ever read, best written books by Jessica Hawkins. I recommend all of her other books. Lake is 16 when she first meets Manning but nothing sexual happens between them for another 3 books until she’s in her 20s. Beautiful slow burn with characters full of depth.
Sinner by Sierra Simone- ⭐️💦
Brother’s Best Friend & religious themes
Amazing character creation and mapping. These characters feel real! This book is about “teaching” a girl about sex before she becomes a nun. It’s not just a bang bang, hump hump book. It has heart and it really good. If you enjoy religious themed romance, you may enjoy Priest by Sierra Simone too. I didn’t 💀
Birthday Girl by Penelope Douglas- 💦
Ex’s Dad
Most popular forbidden romance so whatever you’ve heard about it, dump it. This might be the most tame book on this list. Pacing is good, well written main character. Insane amounts of smut but it doesn’t drive the story forward so feel free to skip it if you get tired.
Love Unexpected by Q. B. Tyler- 💦
Ex Stepdad & parent death
This book is HOT! However after the first few scenes, I got a bit tired of the smut. Well written enough female lead with a rushed ending. However if you just need something to read and not despise it, it’s good enough.
Strictly Off Limits by Jessica Hawkins-🌶️
Dad’s Best Friend
Jessica is my favorite author so I’m a bit biased but she definitely isn’t a smut writer. This novella would’ve been better without smut however it isn’t super present and doesn’t really drive the story forward so don’t feel like you’re missing anything if you skip the smut!
The Doctor by Nikki Sloane- 💦
Ex’s Dad
personally didn’t care for this book, smut starts off way too quick and I’m more of a slow burn girl. It is a novella however, it was still too quick. However! You may love it <3
𓃠 If I’m not reading fast enough for you and you want to see what I will be reading in the future here is my Amazon TBR, have at it!
𓃠 If you want to see a more organized bookshelf of what I’ve read, here is my Goodreads!
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loveshotzz · 1 year
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Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
My Favorite Customer
Summary: You’ve been buying weed from your new dealer for a few months now. Always leaving it in your mailbox while you’re at work, you two never cross paths until one Friday night when you come home early.
word count: 3k
Warnings: None really besides some kissing at the end. This just a little meet cute with our favorite weed dealer. (Not meant to be a series, just a fluffy one shot) mentions of weed obviously.
A/N: I missed Eddie and this idea came to me based off my real life of buying weed from my weed man for over a year. Have yet to come face to face with him, but there’s always weed in my mailbox when I need it lol. For my twin @boomhauer and thank you @superblysubpar for helping me find my Eddie voice again.
Lifting up the lid of your mailbox, the smirk that tugs at your lips can’t be stopped when a fresh bag of weed sits inside, his usual hand written note attached making your face hot. You look both ways before snatching the eighth quickly scuffling back into your apartment like you were hiding a pound of cocaine and not just enough green to last you a few days.
It had been like this for a while with Eddie. You’d call him up by the number given to you from Robin who swore up and down that he was the best.
You remember thinking his voice was cute the first time you heard it, and you started to wonder if he thought the same after the third call. A flirty edge hidden behind his words every time he’d pick up and realize it was you.
“Ahhh my favorite customer.” He’d tease starting to get these calls multiple times a week.
It wasn’t your intention to never meet Eddie, it’s just how it always seemed to happen. That first time you talked he could hear the desperation in your voice. The stress from the move here and starting your new full time job fresh out of high school, he could tell you needed to relax. Rattling off times he could come by, none of them ever lining up to match with yours.
“You got a mailbox or somewhere I could stash it?” He finally gave in after exhausting almost every other option.
“You’d do that?” You couldn’t help but be embarrassed by the obvious excitement in your voice and he just laughed.
“If the money’s there sweetheart, why not?” The nickname made your heart skip a beat biting your lip to try and hide your smile.
You don’t even know what he looks like.
So this is how it started playing out after that, you’d call with your order and he’d make you blush every time he’d kick the flirting up to ten.
Instantly comforted by his mellow voice, you found yourself looking forward to those few minutes so much that you weren’t sure if the amount you were smoking was from stress or from just wanting to hear his voice again. Then he started adding little notes to your deliveries and now you were almost positive it was the second.
His sloppy handwriting started appearing on each bag with the word ‘favorite’ always scribbled at the top.
Cheeks heating up the first time it showed up, you couldn’t stop trying to imagine what he looked like. Too scared to ask Robin, you knew she’d just follow your intrigue with a line of questioning of her own.
Settling for the vague faceless man you’d conjured up in your clever mind. You let the memory of his voice be the thing that secretly encouraged the movements of your fingers between your thighs every night.
Friday morning had you waking up with a smile, your stash low enough to do the thing you’d been thinking about since you hung up the last time. Taking a deep breath you dialed his number that you now had completely memorized. It only rings three times before his voice fills your end of the receiver.
“Is this who I think it is calling me this early in the morning?” The grin in his voice is evident when he answers.
Shuffling your feet nervously, the smile on your own face was starting to make your cheeks hurt.
“Do you always answer the phone like this?” You wonder if he can hear yours too.
“Only if I know it’s you.”his tone sends a shiver up your spine, legs pressing together on their own accord.
“And how’d you know that it was me Eddie?” You draw out his name sweetly, silently squealing when you hear the hitch in his breathing from it.
“Because sweetheart, you’re the only one who calls this early for weed.” catching the way he almost whispers the last part, you hear a gruff voice in the background.
“Boy if you don’t leave soon!”
“Sorry, is that a problem? I just wanted to catch you before it was too late.” The urge to crawl in a hole is strong as you slap your palm on your forehead.
Your eagerness to talk to him becoming more than obvious, the man yelling at him in the background definitely wasn’t helping your new bashfulness.
“Pshh are you kidding me? I love it. Get to start the morning off talking to my favorite girl.” He lays his response on thicker than syrup. Your palms start to sweat noting the way he didn’t say customer for the first time.
Your embarrassment subsides for a split second before the voice from before cuts in again.
“If I get another call that you were late again, boy I swear to -“
The line shuffles on the other end and all you can hear is the sounds muffled arguing before another loud rustle, his voice returning with more irritation in it than you’d ever heard before.
“You want the usual?” He’s short when he answers and you know it’s not supposed to be directed at you, but you can’t help but squirm.
“Y- yeah if that’s okay?” You didn’t mean to give yourself away by stumbling over your words, but when you do Eddie makes a quick recovery.
“More than, listen you have a good day at work today Sweetheart. I really gotta go, but check your mailbox when you get home.” Hanging up before you get a chance to finish saying goodbye you hear Eddie yell “I”m leaving alright?!”
——
Work was exceptionally slow for a Friday night, the unexpected thunderstorm that rolled through killed any possibility of a dinner rush. Cutting you less than half way through your shift, your giddy excitement couldn’t be contained. Friday evenings had become non-existent since you started at Enzo’s. So when the opportunity to actually have one came around you couldn’t turn it down. Stopping at Family Video on your way home, Robin helped you pick out something she swore was good while you did your best to ignore the eyes her friend Steve was giving you.
Strumming your fingers against the steering wheel while you listened to Kiss a little too loud, the heavy rain turned into something less than a light drizzle as your tires splashed through puddles. Planning out your evening alone you didn't even think of what this could mean as you pulled into your parking spot hours earlier than normal.
Too caught up in trying to land the notes to I Was Made For Loving You, you didn’t see the van parked in front of your small complex. Head in the clouds with the possibilities of the night mixed with your bad habit of looking down when you walked, you didn’t see who was right in front of you. The sound of the voice you’d been daydreaming for months about cuts through your mumbled singing. Stomach dropping to the floor when you hear
“Son of a bitch.”
Freezing in place, your eyes slowly trail up towards your front door. Standing at almost six feet tall was a curly haired metal head. Mumbling profanities as he struggled against the lid of your mailbox, his jacket looked caught on something. Broad shoulders covered by a battle vest adorned with a giant Dio patch, you still couldn’t see what his face looked like as he struggled with the sleeve of the leather jacket beneath. Taking in his ripped black jeans and scuffed white Reebok’s, your heart was already threatening to beat out of your chest. If his face was cute, you knew you’d be fucked.
A few more violent tugs of his arm, he finally breaks free as your mailbox creaks dangerously close to coming unhinged off the brick wall. His zippers jingle as he shakes out his wrist, flipping up a ring clad middle finger he chuckles proudly to himself before turning around. Big brown eyes meet yours like a deer in headlights, so cute they punch the air out of our lungs.
Yeah, you were fucked.
Brows furrowed under messy bangs his eyes go from your stunned face down to the keys in your hand with your VHS tape before he takes in your frame. Catching the way they linger just long enough to still be polite. He meets your shocked stare as something clicks in his head. A dimple filled smile pushes past his plush lips, yours threatening to do just the same at the sight.
“Eddie?” Surprised you were able to get his name out of your mouth, his face seems to light up even more as his suspicions were confirmed.
“That depends.” Rocking on his heels he crosses his arms over his chest “Favorite, is that you? Cause boy, you’re even cuter than you sound.”
Blood rushing to your cheeks hearing your nickname in person like this, you suck your bottom lip between your teeth at his compliment.
“That depends.” Looking up at him from under your lashes the dimples in his cheeks deepen at your response.
Twirling one of his curls over his lip, you notice all of his rings “What if it’s your favorite weed dealer?”
Cuter than anything you could have conjured up in your mind you were silently scolding yourself for not meeting him sooner. Straightening your shoulders a little you take a few strides closer to him, watching as his eyes don’t try to hide as they take all of you in.
“I’m sure you call all the girls that, but yes it’s me Eddie.” Smiling bigger than you can help, it’s his turn to take a couple steps closer.
“Nah, that nickname is just for you sweetheart.” Standing close enough to catch hints of corner store cologne trying to cover up cigarette smoke, everything about him made your brain short circuit. Looking down at the movie in your hand his eyebrows raise in disbelief before meeting your eyes again. “Alien?”
“Robin suggested it to me for my unexpected night off.” Flipping it over in your hand to read the back, you could feel his stare on your face rather than on the tape. “Ever seen it?” glancing up at him, he doesn’t try to hide what he was actually looking at.
Nodding, he grins down at you “Buckley’s got great taste.”
Catching the double meaning in his words an electric current that could light up all of Hawkins dances between your bodies. Static vibrating from your fingertips, you couldn’t stop the sigh that slipped between your lips.
The raindrop that hits you between the eyes is jarring, you blink fast before more start a slow and steady decent splattering all around. Raising a large hand up to try and shield his curls he looks annoyed that Mother Nature was cutting his time short.
“I hate to deliver and dash sweetheart, but I don’t wanna keep you in the rain.” Doe eyes taking in your face like he was trying to commit it to memory he moves to step around you.
Panic rises and constricts around your chest as you watch his retreating form, biting the inside of your cheek you work up enough courage to do something you’ve never done. Make the first move.
“Doyouwannwatchitwithme?” Words jumbled together and almost yelled as they fell out of your mouth, your mumbled nonsense stops him dead in his tracks. Turning around, having his full attention like this was making it even harder.
“Come again princess?” The new nickname threatens to send you six feet under when you feel your knees shake. Clearing your throat you gather whatever confidence you can muster under the intensity of his stare.
“Do you want to come watch this movie with me?” Using it as a makeshift umbrella you start walking backwards towards front door “I actually just got this pretty good shit delivered you should try it.”
The smile that breaks across his face is infectious, feeling it in the way your lips stretch so much it makes your cheeks hurt.
“Oh yeah? I mean if you’re talking about who I think you’re talking about, that guy’s got the best shit in town sweetheart.” The laugh he pulls from you, he swears it makes your face glow. “I’d be honored favorite, I thought you’d never ask.”
—-
Your living room lays in a blanket of haze from two joints successfully smoked, touches lingering more and more as you two passed them back and forth. Half way through the movie you were giggling through cupped fingers leaning into him as you both sank deeper into the cushions of your couch. His bad jokes and over the top commentary kept you both laughing with shoulders pressed together for support. Neither one of you making any effort to move when you both finally calm down.
Peeking at him from the corner of your eye, you were mesmerized by how handsome he was this close. Your stare following the curve of his round nose to the fullness of not one but both his lips, a light sheen coating them from being freshly licked. The sharp planes of his jaw lead you to the thickness of his neck, catching the silver chain that disappears into his shirt.
Time is an illusion in your foggy brain - especially under his spell, losing yourself trying to remember every curve and scar on his face you stare long enough to to get caught. Chocolate eyes connecting with yours, the corners of his lips tug up and like looking in a mirror yours do you.
“Hey favorite”quiet enough for just you to hear, there’s a soft rasp in his voice from all the smoking.
“Hey Eddie”biting your bottom lip, his eyes watch the way your teeth scrape across the silk of it.
Leather creaking loud enough to hear over the sound of the movie and the rain outside, he drapes his arm over the back of the couch. The dip pulling you deep into the warmth of his chest.
“Is this okay?”for the first time you see a hint of nervousness in his eyes as he tries to read the expression on your face.
Nodding you slide a tentative hand up his chest feeling his muscle twitch under your palm, looking up at him you repeat his own question.
“Is this okay?”
His hand reaches up to cup the side of your face, the weed helping you melt into his touch as the pad of his thumb traces your cheekbone. Searching your eyes for any sign of protest he nudges his nose with yours. The heat of his breath fans across your parted lips as your eyes flutter closed completely overcome by him being this close.
“Sweetheart, if I’m reading this wrong please tell me now.” Your top lip brushes with his bottom when he asks the question and you think you might combust if you don’t close the gap.
Tilting your head just enough to get what you want, your lips move together like it was something they’d been doing for years. Each lazy drag setting your skin ablaze.
Swiping his tongue against your bottom lip he quietly asks you for more. Granting him access to something you’re sure you’ll never deny him, you don’t hesitate to let him deepen the kiss.
Tongues meeting each other in the middle, they battle for dominance as your fingers find their way into the thickness of his curls. Tugging slightly, you smile into the kiss when a groan erupts from deep in his chest.
With the rest of the world long forgotten, the two of you stay like this for longer than you can keep track of. Hands exploring curves and grabbing hips, it almost becomes too much when you nip his bottom lip.
Eddie’s the one who breaks away reluctantly when the need for oxygen becomes too much, and his body starts to react a little too strongly to your touch. The screen on the TV had gone blue long ago when the movie ended, leaving your dark living room in its pale bright light. The coloring of it all hitting his face just right.
Nudging his nose with yours he leans his head back against the cushions of the couch. Chocolate eyes looking at you through half closed lids, a lazy smile spreading wide across his kiss swollen lips.
“We should probably stop, and I should probably go.”jutting his bottom lip in a pout he catches the disappointment you try to hide flash behind your eyes. “Not that I want to, I just actually had other stops that I was supposed to make tonight, but it’s not like I was going to say no to you inviting me to hangout.”snorting like that was the craziest thing he could ever imagine, his face lights up when he earns a laugh from you.
“Yeah, I’d be pretty pissed if I was them.” Using his chest to try to push yourself up with your hands, he stops you from getting too far. Collecting your lips one last time, he only lets you pull away enough for your noses to stay touched.
“Besides having a few more drop offs, I’m hoping the next time I kiss you like that is after you let me take you on a date?”catching the nerves in his voice, you couldn’t actually believe he thought you’d say no.
“Bold of you to assume there’s going to be a next time.”raising a brow you do your best to remain straight faced as he narrows his eyes at you.
He brushes his lips lightly against yours again before asking “there’s not?”
Giving in almost instantly you add pressure pushing yourself closer, chuckling as he pulls away, you stop trying to fight the smile that’s threatening to spread across your own face.
“Fine, you caught my bluff.” Huffing in mock annoyance, this time he lets you push yourself up.
It still takes another thirty minutes for Eddie to work up enough willpower to get off the couch, your easy conversation and pouty soft lips making it a near impossible feat.
More stolen kisses and stumbled words fill the empty space on the walk to the front door followed by even more before he finally goes. Sweet just like the nickname he gave you, he couldn’t wait to make you his.
——
taglist: @munsonology @munsonmunster @elthreetimes
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kiachiako · 8 months
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september nct recs
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my library of favorites from SEPTEMBER <3 all creds to authors
[ sorted by word count ]
series
[m] HAECHAN | settle down pt. 1 | pt. 2 | @hyuckmov — rockstar!hyuck, genre: angst, smut (18+ minors dni), fluff
oneshots
[m] MARK | sweet cream, cold brew | @lucyandthepen 26.4k — something about mark lee keeps you up at night, and you’re pretty sure that it isn’t the lingering smell of espresso on his shirt.
[m] MARK | my little doll | @haechansdoll 20k — Humans have hormones, you understand that much. But does that explain why you can't stop the filthy daydreams that fill your head whenever you see a specific redhead? Does it excuse you for getting turned on by him simply breathing in your direction? And to make matters worse, he is off-limits, if your father found out you were messing with his prized boxer? You would be chained to a tower and your red-haired crush would be used as mincemeat.
HAECHAN | one, two, three | @cherryeoniis 19k — In which you devise three different ways to get your best friend to fall in love with you, but things never really go quite as planned.
[m] JENO | summer hair = forever young | @setsugekka 18.1k — Only three weeks after being broken up with by your long time partner, you’re dragged along for your friends summer vacation plans despite your best attempts at staying home to do little more than feel sorry for yourself. Day one? Dinner and a movie. Day two? The bar down the street that smells like old socks. Day three? Well, that’s the waterpark, and the cute, blonde lifeguard that seems to make the lazy river his mainstay is a bit of a sight for sore eyes.
JAEMIN | written in ink | @cherryeoniis 15.3k — professor!jaemin, historical au (early 19th century), fluff, angst, strangers to lovers
[m] MARK | watch me | @sluttyten 14.6k — you pick up the voyeuristic habit of watching your neighbor that never closes his curtains and whose face you never see. on an unrelated note, you start dating the cute barista from down the street that also happens to live in the building across from yours. what could happen?
TAEIL | in earnest | @neonun-au 12k — a letter written in haste when you were fifteen and in love with your best friend gets sent out in the dawn of your engagement. when a reply is sent, revealing feelings you had long thought forgotten, you are left with a choice to make amidst a rather awkward visit. 
[m] JENO | fight club | @tyonfs 11.9k — after park jisung introduces you to his shady after-school activity, you realize it’s far too dangerous to be involved with the underground fight club in any way. their members are rough around the edges—except for lee jeno, who keeps you coming back for more.
MARK | a series of white lies | @tyonfs 10.5k — in which it takes you six years to accept that you’re in love with mark lee. (it takes him one.)
HAECHAN | wicked games | @cherryeoniis 10.1k — angst, fluff, suggestive, university! au, friends with benefits, fuckboy! haechan
MARK | baseball (& other disasters) | @tqmies 10k — Everyone admired Mark Lee, starting pitcher of your school’s baseball team and famed ladies man. You, on the other hand, only know him as the boy who broke your dorm lobbies microwave the first time you met.
[m] JAEHYUN | dive | @yougotthatbilly 9.2k — frat boy!Jaehyun: Jaehyun calls shotgun.
[m] RENJUN | high-waisted shorts | @tyonfs 7.8k — huang renjun might be the least committed to all this “bitch hunting” bullshit, and he doesn’t want to stoop to the level of stupidity his friends are at. that’s why he’s pissed when you’re strutting around in those high waisted shorts wherever you go, making renjun lose all sense of reason.
[m] JAEMIN | blur | @jaeminvore 7.5k — Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face and hungover was one thing. Waking up to the sunlight blazing onto your face, hungover and in a bed that wasn’t your own in nothing but a pair of sweatpants that were obviously not yours, was another and a punishment specifically made for you—your own personal hell.
[m] JAEHYUN | racer | @smileysuh 6.7k — street racer!Jaehyun, star-crossed lovers, secret relationship, step-brother!Johnny
[m] HAECHAN | tattoos together | @cherryeoniis 5.4k — rockstar!haechan x reader
[m] DOYOUNG | hungry for you | @sluttyten 4.9k — doyoung is your best friend’s older brother, and you hate each other until one evening you’re alone together and the tension finally breaks
HAECHAN | dance to this | @cherryeoniis 3.8k — dancer! haechan x dancer! reader, university au, slight enemies to lovers
. . .
drowning in college rn :((
xoxo <3
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Heaven Help a Fool Who Falls in Love
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Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!reader
Warnings: angst, fluff, mutual pining, Simon being in love but not saying anything
Words: 3.5k
Synopsis: Months apart makes Simon realize how much he truly wants you...
Link to The Roommate Series Masterlist
You are currently reading part 1 of The Roommate Series
Simon tries not to wake you when he comes home this early in the morning. He makes sure to open the door as quietly as he can despite the creak in it, and always takes his shoes off before stepping inside to minimize the sound of his footsteps. He would argue that he was pretty good at stealth, it was a big part of his job and he rarely ever got caught, yet when he was trying to sneak around you, you always seemed to hear him. 
It didn’t matter if he came into the apartment without making a single sound, the light in your room would always turn on minutes after his arrival.
You stepped out of your room still in pajamas, your eyes blurry from sleep as you made your way into the living room to greet your roommate. You yawned and rubbed the sleep from your eyes as you turned the corner, a small smile pulling on your face when you saw him looking as if he’d been caught doing something bad.
“Morning.” Your voice was still heavy with sleep. 
“Go back to bed.” Simon’s voice was soft yet there was almost a demanding undertone to it as he set his bag and shoes down on the floor.
“And miss ‘Welcome Back Breakfast’? No.”
It was a tradition you had set up a little while after you roommed with Simon. A meal cooked by you whenever he got home, a small celebration that he was back after being gone for months and an excuse to catch up on everything he missed. It also forced him to eat something when you knew that he wouldn’t otherwise.
He never outwardly expressed his love for the meals but you always knew he appreciated them when he ended up eating seconds and thirds of the food you made. However, he didn’t particularly like the breakfast meals mainly because when you were cooking him breakfast, it was between the late hours of the night and the early hours of the morning.
Simon didn’t like when you lost sleep because of him.
“Class doesn’t start until nine.” He argued but you dismissed him with a wave. 
“So? I’ll be fine.” You didn’t give him the chance to argue anymore as you walked into the kitchen. “If you take a shower now, I'll be done when you’re finished.”
You listened to him walk towards the bathroom with a small smile, finally feeling at ease as the silence in the apartment disappeared after months of being alone. It was like a heavy weight had been taken out of the air or like the sun had finally parted the clouds after weeks of cloudy skies. Everything in you felt better when you heard the shower turn on as you began to cook breakfast.
It was a strange situation you were in. A college student who started way after she finished high school staying with a guy who disappeared for months on end for an unknown job living with each other in a small apartment. 
A normal person would be thrilled that their stranger of a roommate was never there, especially when that stranger sometimes came back with fresh wounds, but Simon Riley was no stranger to you anymore.
It took almost a year and half before either of you got to the point where conversations flow freely, where you can talk his ear off about what you’ve been doing while he’s gone and something stupid that’s been going on in your classes without having to worry if you’re overstepping. You ask him about how he is and how he feels, he’ll answer. He’ll talk to you as much as he can and answer any questions, but there is one thing completely off limits.
His job.
You gathered he was a private man when you first moved in and he kept most of his belongings to himself. He never let you into his room and he had been shy about showing you his face until you expressed you were a little worried he might be a felon.
You tried to ask once, but he shut it down immediately.
“Someone like you doesn’t need to know about that.”
The response confused you then and still confused you to this day. You weren’t sure what he meant by ‘someone like you’, but you never questioned it, not when he gave you an almost glare, a warning for you to never ask again so you never did.
Not when he came home with wounds and not when you noticed the various weapons in his bag that he brought home. You turned a blind eye to the gun he kept in his nightstand and the knife he had hidden underneath his pillow in favor of keeping your friendship alive without pressuring him to give up his secrets. 
You wouldn’t trade the relationship you had with him for any information. Especially not when he made you feel a certain way.
You finished cooking when Simon joined you in the kitchen with damp hair, smelling fresh and like home. You were about to plate food for you both before he gently pushed his knuckles into your shoulder.
“Sit.” He told you as he took the plates from your hands.
“You’re bossy this morning.” You teased but did as he said and sat down at the table, watching him make both of your plates. “Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine.”
Simon set your plate in front of you before he sat across from you as if he hadn’t been gone for months and began to eat. You saw his shoulders go less tense the moment the food was in his mouth and it was hard for you to keep a proud smile off your face as you began to eat as well. You both were quiet for a moment, just enjoying the food and the company of each other after so long.
“So I have an exam in three weeks,” you began and though he didn’t look up from his plate you knew he was listening. “In that one class.”
“Have you started studying?” He wondered and when he looked up at you, you averted your gaze from him quickly. “Am I going to have to help?”
“I’m not going through your crazy study bootcamp again.”
“You passed because of me.”
The conversations began to flow between you both. You talked about how one of your recent classes had been giving you mindless work to do for minimal points and how your other friends were doing, not that he particularly cared about what was going on with them but it was something to talk about. 
He listened and made comments, engaging in the conversation as he helped himself to the rest of the breakfast, feeling a lot better than he had since he stepped on the plane to come back to you. 
Simon watched you talk with soft eyes that bounced across your face unbeknownst to you. He took in everything about you, the small things that changed over the time that he was gone that wouldn’t have made a difference to anyone but he noticed them almost immediately. They didn’t make you any less beautiful or any less than who you were and yet it made him shift uncomfortably in his seat as he felt a small pit form in his stomach.
Maybe he wouldn’t have noticed the changes so much if he had been here, if he wasn’t away from you for so long. Maybe the changes had happened because he had been gone.
He wasn’t stupid. He could see the way you lit up like the fourth of july when he came home, how you would look a lot less tired when you saw him coming through the door like there had been a weight stuck on your chest. It did things to him that he swore would never happen the moment you moved into his flat as his roommate.
He leaned forward against the table as he watched you talk about your recent outing with your friends and his eyes flicked down to your lips. 
Every time he walked through that door and you were there it took everything in him to not pull you into his chest, to touch you to make sure that he was actually still alive and that he got to see you again. That you were still here, that you still liked seeing him even though he neglected you for months because of his job, you still like him enough to make him food when you could easily just make him do it. He wished he could show you how much he actually missed you when he was gone.
You had no reason to be that way with him. You weren’t together and neither of you had ever made the move to take the relationship a step further. You didn’t owe him your time, you could easily find a different place to live and yet you stayed with him for some reason. 
Part of him waited for the other shoe to drop. He waited for you to come to your senses and realize that the friendship you shared was too strange, was too taxing on your health for it to be something that you truly wanted.
Selfishly he wished you never did.
He wanted you to stay. He wanted you in his life even when it could be dangerous. The only thing keeping you with him were the secrets he kept from you.
“Anyway, I was thinking we could go to the store later this evening.” You said and he scowled.
“Why?” He grumbled as he took both of your plates to the sink before you could get up from your chair.
“We need groceries to eat.”
He sent you a look, one that signaled he didn’t appreciate your sarcasm but you just gave him a smug smirk that made him roll his eyes. He went back to washing the dishes and heard you get up, following your movement from the corner of his eyes as you came up to him and leaned on the counter.
“And because of tomorrow.” You smiled, a twinkle in your eyes that made him look at you with confusion.
“What’s tomorrow?” He asked and watched as your face fell slightly.
“Your birthday…?”
“Is it?”
Simon looked at the calendar that was pinned to the fridge and saw that his birthday was indeed tomorrow, but he was completely indifferent towards the day. He didn’t celebrate ever, it had been years since he had celebrated any kind of holiday or his birthday until you came along. The only reason why you even knew was because you asked him and he found it extremely hard to tell you no when you asked him certain questions.
He put the dishes on the drying rack without another word.
“That’s it? Come on, get a little excited.” You nudged his shoulder, feeling slightly sad about his reaction. “You’re here for your birthday which means we get to do something fun!”
“Something fun would be not doing anything.” He retorted but felt a little bit of regret when you gave him a disappointed look.
“You don’t mean that…not entirely anyway.”
Simon dried his hands on a hand towel and stared at you. He watched as you stared back, your eyes still bright despite the disappointment and it made him falter. He couldn’t quite think of what to say so he ended up staring at you for a lot longer than what would normally be acceptable and subconsciously stepped into your space.
You knew he had a staring problem and it didn’t bother you after you figured out that if he was staring at you because something was off about the way you looked, he would tell you.
You raised your eyebrows in question but he didn’t say anything. A small smile crept onto your face and you poked his chest a few times, enjoying the warmth that you could feel off of him.
“What do you want to do?” You wondered softly because as much as you wanted him to have a great time for his birthday, it was still his day. 
Spend time with you. The words nearly slipped out of him before he realized how close he was to you. He took a step back and finally looked away from you, his shoulders tensing up slightly as he moved on to clean the kitchen utensils you used to make breakfast.
Those words seemed innocent enough but he knew that it would reveal way too much about how he truly felt about you which you evidently put you on the spot. As much as he wanted to tell you how much he wanted you and show you the extent of how he felt for you, that could potentially drive you away. He wasn’t going to mess something like this up, not until he was absolutely sure you would return his feelings.
“We still have whiskey?” He asked and you nodded.
“You know I don’t drink your whiskey unless you let me.” You reminded him and the corner of his lip twitched up. “So movie night while drinking?”
“Yes.”
You smiled and it was like he had won the lottery. You grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, scribbling down a few items on it to get at the grocery store before you handed it to him. You couldn't help the excitement that bubbled in you as you thought about having a movie night with him again for the first time in a while.
“You’re also getting a cake.” You stated and walked back to your room to get ready for classes.
“No-”
“I’m making you a cake!”
Simon listened to you close your door before he looked down at the list in his hands. He read over the items you write down, noting that they were ingredients for a dinner he liked, and he felt his chest warm. It was almost too much, your sweetness but selfishly he couldn’t deny it, not when you so willingly give it to him without any conditions. 
He wrote down a couple of things on the list as well before he glanced up at the clock hung in the kitchen. He frowned when he realized that you would have to leave soon. He hadn’t even realized the two of them had sat at the table catching up for that long.
A pit formed in his stomach and he looked around the room, his eyes narrowed as it suddenly felt too unfamiliar to him.
It wasn’t that he hated his flat but it oddly felt less like home when you were gone and he wasn’t. He was too used to your presence when he was home, too used to hearing you piddle around in your room or sit beside him on the couch and he especially was too used to you being around him the first day he was back. Without you around him, he felt like he didn’t belong.
“I just remembered that there’s a festival in town next week.” You came out of your room dressed for the day and with your bookbag. “We should go.”
“What’s it for?” He wondered as he watched you pack your bag.
“I’m not sure but there’ll be food so that’s enough to make me go.”
Simon hummed in thought. He wasn’t one to go to festivals not when there were so many people with overpriced food but the more he looked at you the more he realized that he would at least have some kind of fun if you went together. 
You finished packing and he felt sadness slip into him. He wanted to make you stay just a little longer but he couldn’t, not when he wanted what was best for you, for you to do what you wanted to because you deserved it.
Instead he followed you to the front door, looming behind you as if he were your shadow. He gave a quick tug on the back of your shirt to stop you as you grabbed the doorknob to leave.
You immediately understood what he wanted and a smile stretched across your face as you turned around and pulled him into a hug. This wasn’t the first time he had asked for a hug in this way and you hoped that he would never stop doing as you enjoyed the way his warmth encompassed you. 
He stiffened in your arms before he slowly wrapped his around you, pulling you into his chest as he rested his chin on top of your head. A long sigh left him almost like you had pulled out a lot of the tension left in his body from being on the field and his eyes fluttered shut so he could just enjoy finally feeling you against him.
“Can you survive without me?” You teased in a soft voice and gave him a comforting squeeze.
No. God no. Just the thought made the pit in his stomach deepen and he was ready to try to convince you to skip class this one time. He could manage the few hours you’d be gone but for longer than that? Before it was hard enough leaving his home for months but knowing that he was leaving you along with it made it so much harder for him to be without you.
You’ve ruined him.
“I’ll be fine.” He stepped away from you and stared at you with those tired eyes of his.
You stared back up at him, getting a good look at the scars that littered his face and the small parts of his skin you could see under shirt. You looked for any new ones and relief washed over you when you couldn’t notice any. You hoped that there weren’t any under his shirt but there was no way to know unless you asked him to strip.
You opened the door but didn’t step outside as you faced him. 
“You sure everything’s okay?” You asked one more time because you could.
You were no stranger to the effects his job had on him even if you didn’t know what that job was. You had seen him lock himself in his room for days, not even to come out to eat or to speak to you. Sometimes it started the moment he walked in the door, barely giving you enough time to say hi before he disappeared but other times he seemed fine and then he would immediately crash into a depressive episode. It was impossible for you to tell if it would happen.
“‘M fine.” He assured you and you gave him a smile that lightened the pit in his stomach.
“Be back in a few hours.” You told him and he nodded.
You shut the door behind you and Simon stood frozen where he stood, his eyes trained on the door as a dreadful silence fell over the apartment. His hands curled into fists by his sides and his eyes hardened almost as if he were waiting for someone to burst through the door and attack him.
The silence was only broken by the tinnitus in his ears as he stared down the door, counting the seconds that went by as if it would make time go faster. It felt like a shadow was slowly looming over him, a presence that would drag him down to the darkest depths of his mind just to torment him since he wasn’t distracting himself on the field. He was too antsy to watch a show, too willing to fall back into his mind to read a book. 
There was nothing to do. No one to talk to. You weren’t here to remind him that he wasn’t alone, that everything he loved wasn’t gone and that he hadn’t truly died that day.
For a moment, he thought about putting on his mask just to feel the comfort of it on his face. He wanted to get rid of these feelings and the mask could do that perfectly. It would let him push everything down, beat his thoughts into submission because Ghost was so much stronger than Simon was. He could hide from himself with the mask on and just ignore everything until he went on leave again.
He stepped towards his bag but stopped when he felt guilt creep up in his chest.
You didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve to be ignored, to be forgotten by him as he tried to forget himself, especially after how happy you’d been this morning.
Ghost didn’t belong here. As much as he wanted to become Ghost again so he could become numb to the loneliness and the sense of dread wracking his body, he couldn’t. 
Not when he wanted you, when he wanted to see you again after so long.
Simon relaxed his hands and stretched out the tension in them. He huffed and sat down on the couch rather uncomfortably with his hands on either side of him, his eyes going back to the door.
It was just a few hours but Simon would wait for you to come back.
Link to Part 2
A/N: This is short but I felt like if I continued it would've dragged on. Anyway, hope you liked. Might become a series idk
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dcxdpdabbles · 5 months
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Nice how about to give you one of my old DC DP crossover prompts
Danny is a big fanfic writer for Batman, most of the time doing Tim joins the bat family early and Alternate attack on Titan's Tower. After his accident he decides to write a Jason Todd is a halfa straight out of the grave fic. Just to get his emotions out there and to vent and it gets incredibly popular.
As Time evolves the fic itself evolves from a vent fic to a under the table way to reanalyze his ghost fights and do better by transplanting his ghosts into the fic for Jason to fight. This happens generally okay until Penelope Spectra of unlike the other ghosts she was known by the rest of the world and was actually tracked by Reddit. Making the fans realize hey this is actual going on maybe not by Jason Todd but someone is using this to reanalyze their fights under the veneer of being fiction.
Danny starts to get famous for his fanfictions when he introduces the idea of halfas for the second Robin. He's not sure what happened to the second Robbin, but there are rumors he didn't die; he just retired, and the fans all accept that as the truth.
At first, Danny writes the second Robin struggling with his double life, as alive and dead, forced to hide his existence from Batman as a secret helper at night. He uses the second Robin to freely speak about his struggles with his powers in the early days, using fiction to cover his venting.
He even gave Robin a secret identity- with a disclosure that it was all made up and he did not know anything about the Bats because fans can be crazy- with the name Noir.
He made Noir a loser in school- consistently bullied, his grades were low without Batman's help, and he even had Noir live on the streets for a while before getting flung into the Ghost Zone.
Danny didn't realize it, but his writing made Noir a loveable character to his fans, who all loved "how flawed but kind-hearted" Noir, the halfa Robin. One of Danny's best commenters always claimed that Danny captured the second Robin's character.
He quickly develops Noir into someone who grows comfortable in his role after defeating the old Ghost King and getting discovered by Batman. He made the series with Noir, focusing more on the threats of the other ghosts that came to challenge the Ghost King.
Each ghost was based on his own rouges- all fighting the same way but with different names. Danny switched his main focus from Noir being confused by his powers to Noir getting stronger and stronger through all his fights.
Instead of venting on what life had done to him, Danny used his fanfiction to analyze his fights. He often wrote about what he could have done better, only after writing the actual scene and using that in a fight later on.
He even threw in there some questions that Noir started having about boys- which in high sight he should have known Jazz would have quickly picked up on because she took him to Pride "just to experience new things, Danny!"
He confirmed Noir was bi two updates later and sat back with a smirk when all the comments started rolling in.
Noir's Double Life was his pride and joy. He thought people had to search for his fic, and no one besides his sister would ever read it. Then he made the mistake of writing in a new ghost- Penny Spectra- using her exact powers, thinking no one would recognize her.
What he forgot was that back before Danny kicked her ass into the ghost zone, was that she was a well-known school counselor. A miracle worker, they called her.
Because she always found the teenagers about to fall apart and "saved" them. She had made her way clear across the country, bringing to light issues parents and guardians had no idea their children were going through and getting them the help they needed.
Mr. Lancer had been proud of getting her to come to the school for good reason.
Most adults also didn't know that teenagers talk to each other or, like Danny, post online to vent. Her past victims- for they were victims as some had not been able to pull themselves from the darkness she plunged them into- had started a riddle trend about her.
People began to piece together that whenever she went young people became more and more depressed. They had no proof of course, so she became an urban legend, a demon that appeared as a woman in schools.
Like when a celebrity is turned into a meme for being a secret serial killer, no one takes it seriously, but they think about it in the back of their minds.
Danny just wrote about her with a far too honest retelling of what she had done and how he had found out she was a ghost. He hadn't realized that one of his readers would be one of the original responders for the old Reddit thread about the fact he was a past victim.
That same reader would later link his work for the thread- especially the chapter where she appeared- and everyone would agree that the real Penelope Spectra was a ghost.
And that would be read by Tim Drake, a young member of Riddit who always took mysteries to heart and knew what was real and what wasn't.
This sane Tim Drake would later present Jason to the fanfiction in an effort to tease him about someone adoring him so much they wrote a fic about it and Jason would surprise him with claiming to have already been following the story. \
Their bickering would grab the attention of Bruce, Zatanna, and Constantine, who were in the room next door talking about protection against the dead.
John will be alarmed to see how accurate the fanfiction writer's description of ghosts and King Phantom is, then even more alarmed to find that the writer knows about halfas.
Two days after he posted the newest chapter, Danny is hunted down by Batman to find the human with an insane amount of knowledge about the Infinite Realms and his second son's condition.
Danny would be busy trying to decide if he should give in to the idea of giving Noir a ship and who it should be with while his friendlier ghosts beta-read his work.
"Honestly, I'm a little flatter about how hot you made me sound. Noir definitely has a crush on James the ghost biker." Johnny says flouting to read over Danny's shoulder.
Kitty nods eagerly from where she is lounging on the couch. "I agree, James and Noir are meant to be Danny!"
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alrightieaphroditie · 11 months
Text
sticky situations | j.m 
*:·゚✧ back to masterlist
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pairing *:·゚dbf!joel miller x female!reader wc *:·゚5k  warnings *:·゚18+! minors please do not interact!! pretty much porn w/ minimal plot, dads best friend, age gap (reader is in early 20s, joel is like late 30s/early 40s) kissing, fun with popsicles (so like ice play, in a way), brief mention of choking, titty play, pet names (lots of ‘baby’ and ‘honey’) dirty talk, praise, slight humiliation if you squint, smidge of mutual masturbation, bossy!joel, unprotected p in v (please wrap it before you tap it), slight breeding kink, probably poorly written smut… i think that’s it :))   an *:·゚i lowkey told myself i’d never write a dad’s best friend joel miller story and yet here i am. this literally came to me in a fever dream, and i promise i am still working on my screwed series, but i could not stop writing this. mostly unedited (my bad) but i feel hella proud with this one, so i really hope you all enjoy!! stay safe if your celebrating the fourth today! 
synopsis *:·゚being in a secret relationship with your dad's best friend isn't for the weak. while getting some popsicles from the garage, said boyfriend - joel miller - corners you during the firework show after you spent the day teasing him.
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the scorching texas sun was high in the sky, and the sounds of children squealing carried loudly over the radio playing. the miller’s (moreso tommy, even though he didn’t technically live there) had been kind enough to open their pool to the neighborhood for the fourth of july holiday, and on a day like today, you weren’t surprised that their backyard was crammed full of people.
given that your father was joel miller’s best friend, you had already had plans to come utilize his pool, but now you could barely float like you planned with how many children were swimming in it. sarah’s soccer team had come over after practice as well, and it was to the point where even walking in the backyard was like walking through a landmine; you were consciously trying not to bump into anyone or step on a foot (or a child.) 
your father had planted himself at the grill with the host himself, the two of them talking about god knows what. every now and then you’d catch joel’s eyes, and he’d take in the bikini top you wore, the sage green color complementing your skin.
you had told your father that you had bought it at the mall last weekend, but the truth was that joel had bought it for you, along with the skimpiest bottoms he could find. those you were wearing too, but you had them concealed by a pair of jean shorts. with the way he was eyeing right now, and the way you were subsequently eyeing him back, you were surprised that no one around you had picked up on the fact that you two were together. 
it had been a few months, pretty much ever since you came home to your dad’s from school for the summer. he had moved into this neighborhood after your parents divorce, and when he told you back in january that he had the most amazing neighbor, you were happy for him. flash forward to your visit during spring break and it was joel miller this and joel miller that in your house. not that you really minded, you thought the contractor next door was very handsome, even if he was almost twenty years older than you. 
your dad had introduced the two of you during your spring break, with joel being an absolute gentleman, and for a little bit that was all you had. but then your dad was pulled away for work, and even though you were fully an adult, he wanted someone to be there for you if needed. he gave you joel’s phone number, along with the promise that joel would do anything to help you, and that started the snowball effect to the beginning of your relationship. 
you hardly used the number while you were home, but for some reason you found yourself staring at it one night alone when you were back in your apartment. joel hadn’t given you any hint, any indicator that he even liked you as a person. you mean, sure, he was kind and always polite to you when your dad had him over for dinners. but you noticed he always purposefully put some type of distance between you, and it just didn’t sit right with you. 
so, slightly drunk and alone, you sent him the first text message. a simple, hey, it’s y/n from next door, and then, because you were in a mood and wanted attention: sorry to bother you so late, but my dad told me to text you if i ever needed anything. immediately after you wished you could’ve deleted it, and a few minutes had passed before you decided to put your phone down for the rest of the night. just as you placed it on the table next to your bed, you felt it buzz. think he meant that for when you’re next door, but what can i do for ya? 
and that was that. you and joel texted throughout the night, and then all morning, and all afternoon, and all the next night. this continued for weeks, until you graduated to having nightly phone calls, and then facetime calls (you had to have joel ask sarah how to use facetime to begin with, but you thought that was cute) and for the rest of the semester, joel became your closest friend, and your biggest crush. and when you came home for the summer, you officially started dating joel miller. well… it was official between the two of you. 
you never imagined falling for your dad’s best friend, and yet, here you were, in his backyard, wearing the bathing suit he had bought you, wishing you could at least hold his hand in front of everyone. 
you saw his brown eyes dart in your direction as you moved near the grill, your ears picking up their conversation about the most recent football game. you watched as his pinky finger on the hand by his side extended ever so slightly, and as you walked passed, you brushed your pinky against his. the warmth the feeling gave you made you grin, and you slipped through his open back door, looking for sarah to help you and tommy set up the fireworks display in the street. 
the rest of the evening went by in a blur - there were hotdogs and burgers eaten, smores were made with the small bonfire tommy had started, the music volume continued to increase with every passing hour. by the time the sky was pitch black with only a smattering of stars, everyone was full, content, and ready to sit on the sidewalks and lawns to watch the display happening at the end of the cul-de-sac. 
you sat near sarah and some of her friends from soccer, listening to them gossip about what was going on in their highschool, but your focus was on joel. your eyes followed every movement of his, watching him pick up the boxes you had hauled out there and rearrange them. the gray t-shirt he was wearing was tighter around his arms, and you watched as the material strained against his biceps, his worn blue jeans curving to the muscles in his thighs. 
the sun had gone down hours ago, but your cheeks were burning like it was still noon. 
it finally came time for them to start the first round, and everyone chatted excitedly as they watched tommy set up the firework. you watched as joel tossed his brother a lighter, and before you knew it, sparks were flying across the pavement, and both brothers were running from it laughing. everyone’s head tilted back as they followed the spark, and seconds later a ground shaking boom exploded, the sky becoming colored in blue sparks. the children cheered, the adults laughed, and the dogs went crazy barking. 
you watched a couple more rounds, grinning as kids began chasing each other with sparklers and laughing when tommy burned his finger slightly on a rouge firework. pushing up on your feet, you wiped your pants for straw pieces of grass while you turned to sarah. “hey, i’m gonna go grab a popsicle, do you want one, hun?” the girls eyes met yours and she nodded her head while still talking to her friend. 
you made your way into the garage where you knew joel kept a deep freezer full of goodies on sarah’s behalf. you grabbed the first one you saw, a red cherry popsicle, and opened it while you searched the freezer for sarah’s favorite. you were so preoccupied that you didn’t make out the sound of the door to the garage click shut under the noise of the fireworks, didn’t realize that you were no longer alone until you shifted up and rough, callused hands spread across your exposed middle. 
“joel,” you gasped, turning around in his grip with a laugh. his brown eyes were lit with amusement, but they darkened slightly as they roamed down your chest, down your hips where the strings of the bikini bottoms were peaking out. his hands slid down your sides, resting on the waistband of your shorts as he tucked his fingers through the belt loops.
“y’just had to wear this damn bikini, didn’t you?” his voice was rough, grumpy almost, but that was joel’s typical voice, so you just laughed in response. behind you, the freezer door fell shut, and joel took the opportunity to lift you up so that you were sitting on top. the cold surface made you shiver, but it was joel stepping between your legs, pressing his hips against yours harshly that gave you goosebumps. 
“well, a nice older man did buy it for me, so i felt compelled.” you teased, moving one of your arms to rest against his shoulder while you licked along your popsicle, the treat already melting in the heat building up in the garage. joel’s eyes zeroed in on the movement, and you couldn’t help but grin as you repeated the motion, sucking the popsicle further in your mouth than probably necessary, watching as his brown eyes practically blended in with his pupils. 
“god, you’re trouble,” joel managed to get out before his lips slanted over yours. you moaned into the kiss, consciously holding your popsicle to the side so it didn’t get all over the two of you. your other hand moved to the back of his head, fingers running through his brown locks gently. joel swiped his tongue against your bottom lip and made a low humming sound. “taste like cherries,” he commented, sliding his hand from your waist up to your throat. 
“it’s the popsicle,” you gasped out, feeling joel’s hand encompass your neck. he pulled your hips forward against his by your belt loop, rocking you against him. his lips trailed from yours down to your jaw, down your neck, to your chest. the action had you panting out his name like a prayer, and it only further encouraged him. he managed to untie your bikini top without you noticing, and he roughly yanked the material over your head. 
“let me see this thing,” leaning back, he took the popsicle from your grip, your hand becoming sticky from it melting in your hand. he licked it himself, which had you giggling, but then he put the treat up to your mouth. “open up, baby. wanna see you lick this like you lick me, yeah?” his voice was soft, comforting almost, which went against the actions of his hands, as one tightened around your neck and the other pushed the cherry treat into your mouth. 
your eyes went hazy, and you focused on maintaining eye contact with joel while your face burned with heat. your mouth wrapped around the popsicle, letting him push it in as far as it could go. the coldness of the treat shocked you momentarily, feeling a slight burning sensation against your tongue as he held the popsicle in your mouth for a moment before slowly pulling it out. 
your cheeks hollowed against it, sucking as much of the flavor off as you could, and when joel pulled it out of your mouth, a red string of your spit fell from your lips to your chest, dripping down in between the valley of your breasts. “fuck, honey.” joel groaned, his hips rutting against yours momentarily before he leaned down, licking up the trail of red juice on your skin. a whimper escaped from your mouth as you pressed your chest closer to his mouth, and joel took the opportunity to force the popsicle back in your mouth. 
he slowly moved the popsicle inside your mouth, and even though he had his eyes closed while he pressed his mouth against your chest, you twirling your tongue around the treat, wanting to please him always. you could feel your bathing suit bottom sticking to your core with how wet you were becoming, and you wiggled your hips against joel’s body to get some type of friction. 
he sucked one last kiss against your neck, biting against your skin before he pulled away. “goddamn, baby. such a good girl for me, huh? suckin’ on this popsicle like it’s my damn cock.” his crude words made you whimper, and with one last twist, he pulled the popsicle out of your mouth. his dark eyes stared at your mouth for a moment, taking in how red the popsicle made your lips. how wet they were from your saliva. 
joel’s mouth formed into a smirk before it was pressed against yours. your fingers tangled in his hair, your nails scratching his scalp faintly. he sucked your bottom lip in his mouth, running his tongue over it slowly as if savoring the cherry flavor. his teeth nipped your lip, causing a moan to emit from your mouth. joel grinned against your mouth, and you tugged him closer, desperately seeking more. 
the air in the garage was becoming suffocating, and you could feel sweat forming along your upper body. joel could feel it too, still clad in his t-shirt and jeans, and he gave you one more deep kiss before he pulled away. “you feelin’ hot, baby?” you could only nod your head, a whimper escaping your mouth as he grinned wickedly at you, eyeing the popsicle once more, the treat half melted. “let’s cool ya down, then.”
you watched with a slightly opened mouth as joel moved the popsicle to your chest, and you gasped when he pressed it against your skin, moving it down the valley of your breast. the coldness made goosebumps rise across your chest, and you couldn’t help the small moans at how good it felt. joel’s attention was solely on popsicle, watching the sticky trail of red juice follow where he guided it. 
“joel,” you whimpered, reaching down to grip his forearm tightly. you could see him smile, could see him bite down on his bottom lip as he moved the popsicle to trail over your nipple. the gasp you made had him obsessed, and he ran the cold treat over your sensitive nub over and over again, taking in your gasps and moans, which were being drowned out by the fireworks outside. 
“fuck, you look so pretty like this.” joel muttered, almost to himself, but you could make out the words in his deep voice. he sounded strained, as if he were holding himself back from simply pouncing on you. you wish he would, though, as you could feel your inner thighs become wet with your slick. your core was clenching around nothing, and it had been so long since the two of you were able to get away that you were desperately aching for him. 
the popsicle was melting quicker now, the juices moving swiftly down your stomach as joel traced the popsicle across your chest to the other nipple. you were squirming as much as you could, seconds away from begging joel to stop and to just fuck you already. but you could see it in his eyes that he wanted this, that he was enjoying this, so you let him have it, and you admired the growing bulge in his jeans. 
soon the popsicle was nothing but a puddle mixed into your skin, and joel tossed the stick to the side. “think i need to clean you up now, baby. look at the mess you made,” he said with a tsk, as if you were the one who drew on your chest with the popsicle. you didn’t have it in you to argue, though, especially when joel bent down and took your sensitive nipple in his mouth.
the contrast of the cold popsicle juice with joel’s warm mouth had you groaning, and you slumped against the garage wall as joel traced the popsicle trail with his tongue across your chest. he would pause here and there to place open mouthed kisses along your skin, and you knew in the morning you’d have some small bruises littering your skin. you liked wearing them though, liked having the reminder than joel had marked you as his. because you were, undoubtedly. 
“joel, baby, please,” you whimpered, not fully understanding what you were asking for, but joel thought you were begging so beautifully. he wanted to hear you plead his name for the rest of his life. he pulled your nipple in his mouth, tweaking it with his teeth. a sharp pain flitted through your body, only lasting a second, but he did it again, and again, and soon you were panting.
“please, what?” joel mocked, grinning against your skin as he moved to squeeze your breast with his rough hands. “this not enough for ya?” satisfied that he cleaned up the mess the popsicle had made, he trailed his mouth up to your neck and across your jaw before pausing right in front of your face. his breath was warm as it fanned across your face, and you leaned in to kiss him but he pulled away, a teasing grin on his face. 
“no,” you whined, moving your hands down the waist of his jeans. he let your fingers fumble with the button before he unbuttoned his pants himself, yanking the zipper down. your hand went inside his boxers immediately, and joel let out a curse as your fingers wrapped around the hard length of this cock. just the feeling of it in your hand had you moaning, and you slid your hand along his shaft the best you could in your position. 
“‘course it ain’t enough for you. your needy little cunt needs more, yeah? needs my cock in it to stretch it out?” his hips moved in rhythm with your hand, his hand resting against the freezer top in a fist. his eyes fell shut as you pumped along his cock, and you bit down on your bottom lip as you watched him. you loved seeing him like this, because it made you feel powerful. like you were the only person who could bring joel pleasure like this. 
with a growl, joel’s hands suddenly moved to your shorts, where he unbuttoned them with swiftness and yanked them down. you lifted your hips, helping him get the material past your thighs, and they fell to the garage floor. “feet up, baby.” joel tapped your thigh gently, and you removed your hand from his boxers, lifting your legs up and bending your knees to rest your feet on the edge of the freezer. 
you wanted to blame the wet feeling between your legs on the humid air gathering inside the garage, but you would’ve been a damn liar. you could feel yourself soaking through the material of your bikini bottoms, and you knew the moment joel was able to see it because he let out a string of curses. he brought his hand to the material, running his fingers gently down the seam, and you both moaned. 
“jesus christ, honey. have you been wet like this for me the entire time?” his southern accent was starting to show more, as it did when he got excited. he ran his fingers along the seam once more before pushing the flimsy material to the side and running his finger through your wet folds, and he groaned at feeling how wet you were before sliding one of his fingers inside of you. 
“oh, yes, joel. please, fuck me, please,” you whimpered, your hips rocking against the freezer in tandem with his finger as he pumped it inside of you. if you were more cognizant, you would’ve probably been embarrassed by the noise that was coming from between your legs, but you were too lost in the pleasure, especially when joel moved his thumb up to glide against your clit. 
“you are askin’ nicely, baby,” he said, mostly to himself as he watched his finger push inside of you, watched the wetness that coated it with every pump. he was obsessed with the way you were clenching around him, and he could hardly wait himself to feel that movement against his dick. “yeah, i think i will fuck ya.” 
with one last push, he pulled his finger out from inside you, and laughed when he heard you whine about the loss. “‘s okay, honey. promise i’m gonna fill that little pussy up with my cock real soon, okay?” he made quick work of letting his jeans hit the floor, soon followed by his boxers. his throbbing cock sprung free from his underwear, and you couldn’t help but trail your hand down to your core, pushing your bottoms to the side and slipping your fingers through your wetness at the sight of him. he let out a low groan before spitting in his hand, bringing it to the tip of his cock and slowly palming it while he watched you swirl your fingers against your clit. 
“here baby, make sure ‘m nice and wet for that pussy,” joel muttered, stepping closer to your body as held the underside of his cock in his hand, still pumping it up and down slightly. you ran your fingers through your folds once more, gathering the wetness that had started to spread down your thighs, and reached out to wrap your fingers around his tip. soon, the head of his cock was shining from both his spit and your juices. 
joel moved his left hand to settle on your waist, tilting his thumb down just enough to pull the material of your bikini to the side. his other hand continued to work his shaft as he moved even closer, his knees hitting against the side of the freezer. his eyes were solely focused on your exposed pussy, but you were watching his face, wanting to see his expression when he put it in for the first time. 
“god, you’re so pretty down here. think i’m the luckiest man in texas, baby.” joel said, a smirk settled on his lips as he ran the tip of his cock through your folds, your mouth dropping open in a sigh as you felt it slide against your clit. joel moved to grip the hem of his t-shirt, and he lifted it to his mouth, holding it between his teeth. you took in the sight of his tan and toned body, and then his eyes snapped up to meet yours as he pushed the head into your wet hole, the both of you taking in each other’s reaction. 
you fought the urge to close your eyes, the feeling of his big cock stretching you out was almost too much for you. your nose scrunched up slightly, and a louder moan came from your throat. for the first time that night, you were glad tommy had spent two hours shopping for fireworks, as the sound of the explosives and festivities drowned out your cries. joel bit down on his bottom lip as he continued to push himself inside of you, mentally focusing on not coming right then and there. 
he paused when he was fully seated inside of you, taking a moment to catch his breath as the two of you were both panting in the heated garage. you noticed joel’s forehead had become slick with sweat, and you gently brushed back the dark hair that had fallen forward. your hand slipped down to rest on his cheek, and he pressed a kiss into the middle of your palm before he started moving his hips. 
“fuck, joel,” you whimpered, your foot slipping from it’s hold on the edge of the freezer. joel moved his right hand to grip your thigh, spreading you open before him once more. his nails dug little half-moon imprints in the fat of your thigh, and the angle allowed you to take him a little deeper than before. 
“that’s what i’m doin’ honey,” his words were slightly muffled from the t-shirt in his mouth, but you could see the grin from his teasing, letting out a sharp laugh before it turned into a groan. he moved to pull his cock out, and you almost cried at the loss, your hips moving on their own accord to follow his length. his grip on your waist tightened, keeping you still, until he barely had the head of his cock inside. he thrusted forward again, much quicker this time, and this time your eyes did screw shut at the feeling of is cock filling you up so completely. 
your hands rested on his shoulders, gripping him so hard that you were basically anchoring yourself to him. “so deep, joel… so good,” you praised, your head rolling back on your neck as joel continued to fuck you at a thourough pace. the t-shirt fell from his mouth as he started to moan. his knees banged against the freezer, the freezer banged against the wall, and the fireworks outside masqued both the sounds. curses and praises fell from joel’s mouth - “fuckin’ hell, baby. your pussy gets tighter every damn time i fuck you, huh? you’re doin’ so good, honey, takin’ my cock like a good girl” - and you were feeling so hot, so full. joel was nearly fucking you into oblivion with how muddled your thoughts were. 
the sound of his skin slapping against your wet skin was all you could focus on, a noise you would’ve been more embarrassed by if it weren’t a testament of how turned on joel made you. each stroke of his cock had you whimpering, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. you moved a hand down to your pussy, moving your fingers against your clit and brushing up against his length every time he thrusted inside of you. the action not only made heat pool to your stomach, but it made joel groan. “that’s it baby, play with that little clit of yours. gonna make yourself come on my cock tonight? gonna let me fill this pussy up with my cum?” 
“oh my god, joel, please - right there,” you sobbed, your inner thighs shaking slightly as the feelings became too much to handle. joel picked up on how close you were to coming with how tightly your pussy was clenching around him, and he continued to thrust his hips against yours, the wet noises coming from between your legs made his head feel light. 
small, breathy pants fell from your mouth as you moved your fingers faster against your clit, and distantly you could hear joel encouraging you to let go - “that’s it, honey. you’re takin’ my cock so well, let me make you feel good baby.” - and as joel leaned forward to place a kiss on your damp forehead, you felt yourself burst. a loud cry came from your lips as your body went rigid, little white stars showing up behind your eyelids as pleasure coursed through every vein in your body. 
“oh, fuck, baby,” joel groaned out, his grip on your body becoming impossibly tight as his hips thrust into you, his movements faltering slightly. the feeling of your pussy clenching around his length while you came was what sent him over, and he ground his hips against yours as he came. you could feel his cock throbbing, the warmth from his seed filling you up as joel tilted his head back and moaned. you watched him through hooded eyes, struggling to catch your breath, but the sight of joel coming was almost enough to help you come again. 
he kept his cock inside you as you both came down from your orgasms, and it moved inside you a little when he leaned forward again, making you whimper. “sorry, baby,” joel said softly, slowly pulling himself out while pressing his lips against yours. you eagerly kissed him back, moving a hand to rest on the back of his neck while he deepened the kiss. you felt unbelievably wet, and you couldn’t help but giggle. 
“your cum is running down my thigh, miller.” you said against his lips, causing the older man to laugh. he pulled away enough to take in the mess that was leaking out of your pussy, and then he did something that shocked you - he gathered up the slick with two of his fingers before pushing it back inside of you. your nails dug into his skin as his fingers entered your sore pussy, moaning softly as he watched himself intensely. 
his gaze moved back to your eyes, where he gave you a wicked grin before leaning in to kiss you again. you sighed against his mouth, your body relaxing on the freezer before the two of you started to clean yourselves up. joel went into the house to grab a washcloth and a spare t-shirt for you, considering your chest was stained red and covered in little hickeys. he gently cleaned the mess from between your legs, then himself, and helped you pull your shorts back on. you had him help tie your bikini top again, his fingers coasting against your skin. he gave the back of your neck a quick kiss before turning you around and putting his t-shirt over you. 
“there. now those pervs outside can’t catch a glimpse of ya,” he said, seeming satisfied with himself as he yanked up his pants. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes - his cum was literally dripping out of your pussy and yet he was acting jealous. 
“oh? you mean pervs like you?” you teased, laughing as he swatted away your fingers that were trying to poke him. you thought you heard him mutter something in agreement, but a particularly loud firework went off at the same moment, so you were clueless. you figured that they were on the finale with how frequent and how loud the next few fireworks were, so you gave joel one last kiss before sneaking out the door, which you thankfully noticed was locked. 
as you made your way to the grass, you mentally ran a checklist. you remembered to put your shorts back on, along with your top and a t-shirt. you remembered to clean off the freezer top with one of the towels joel kept in the garage, and you remembered to let your hair down to cover a hickey on the side of your neck. you remembered to go out the garage door, while joel went out through the living room, as he told tommy he was going in to get medicine for a headache. you felt like the two of you had covered all the bases as you sat down on the grass near sarah. 
“hey, where are our popsicles?”
oh, fuck. 
2K notes · View notes
revehae · 4 months
Text
do you like it, dr. lee?
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pairing ↠ haechan, jaemin, jeno × (f) reader
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, noncon, gangbanging, student x professor, reader is early 30s, mentions of infidelity, age gap (18+)
summary ↠ haechan, jaemin, and jeno are some of the brightest, most accomplished students in your class that never fail to make high marks on the exams. but when they approach you one day in your office, your perspective of them changes dramatically.
wc ↠ 5.4k
a/n ↠ part 2/5 of the college-capades series! connected to sexcapade.
don’t like it, don’t read.
it all happened so fast.
one minute, you were chatting with three of your most wonderful students in your office, and the very next, they had you sprawled out on top of your desk.
your heart was speeding. though you attempted to wrestle your way out of their less than gentle embraces, you couldn’t even take one of them, let alone all three. while somebody was keeping your hands still, another was holding you by the legs.
jeno, who had his palm flat over your mouth, only watching your moist, fearfully wide eyes, leaned into your ear and whispered, “scream and we’ll saw your tongue off.”
when he dropped his palm, you sucked in a breath, face tensing with tears as you willed yourself to be compliant. your head was spinning, dizzy with shock. what was happening to you was unfathomable. these boys were some of your favorite students, the ones who never failed to perform magnificently on the exams, and were sparkling in class.
you felt betrayed, in a way. even your worst-performing student wouldn’t stoop this low, and in the midst of your fright, you wondered what you had done to deserve the atrocity that was today. if there was anybody that you could count on to make you feel as if your dedication to this job wasn’t completely useless, it was these boys.
haechan was standing just shy of you, eyes fixed to that knee-length skirt he loved watching you wear. jeno chuckled when he noticed where his friend’s gaze had fallen, because he found himself glancing there too, but usually when you were facing away from your students.
he always thought about getting you naked, seeing your ass without anything to hinder his view. more often than not, jeno fisted himself to the thought of stuffing your ass full of his thick cock, wondering if anybody had ever fucked you there.
snapping out of his imagination, haechan approached you, shoving your long skirt closer to your hips. instinctively, the first thing you did was try to protect yourself, but jaemin grabbed you and ceased all control. you slumped, whimpering defeatedly, “boys, please stop. you know that i have a husband.”
haechan snickered, amused that that was the card you chose to play. “didn’t really look like you cared about your husband when you were fucking my dad,” he retorted.
rather than beat even quicker, it felt as if your heart stilled. “what?”
jeno laughed boisterously. “would you look at that. she thinks you don’t know.”
“that’s right, baby,” haechan replied menacingly, nothing affectionate about his tone, in spite of the pet name. “you run your mouth and we’ll make sure the whole school knows that you can’t stop spreading your legs for my father.”
donning the sweetest tone, jaemin crooned in your ear, “and you wouldn’t want that, right, sweetheart? you wouldn’t want mr. lee to know that his wife isn’t satisfied with just his cock, is she now?”
it felt as if the whole world was crumbling beneath your feet. haechan was johnny’s son, the offspring of the man you had been hooking up with behind your husband’s back, and now he and his friends were threatening to expose your affair if you refused to let them have their way with you.
your lips were trembling. this is all your fault, you chided to yourself. if you could’ve just been a faithful wife, a committed woman, none of this would be happening. they would have nothing against you, nothing that would stop you from reporting to the closest figure of authority. but you had too much at stake.
though you were no stranger to jeno’s short patience, you had never seen it manifest quite like this before, gripping your hair so roughly you whimpered in a blend of pain and shock. he growled, “he asked you a question. i shouldn’t have to tell you that that called for an answer.”
“no,” you replied shakily.
jeno’s grip only tightened and he pressed, “no, what?”
“no, i don’t want him to know…,” you trailed, because it was humiliating to repeat back aloud, but jeno was still gazing at you expectantly. “that i’m not satisfied with just his cock.”
“see, that wasn’t so hard. don’t be a little bitch and make things more complicated than they have to be,” jeno said, releasing his hold on your hair. you would’ve fallen back had not jaemin been there to catch you, only to then grab the little buttons on your blouse. “we’re doing you a favor, really. it’s a three for one deal. a little whore like you should be excited.”
but you didn’t want them, you didn’t even want your husband. you wanted johnny. it made you wonder how they knew of the affair, because haechan seemed oblivious only a couple of weeks ago. he referred to you as some fucking nurse johnny had flirted with, not his molecular biology professor.
for fuck’s sake, you were a solid decade older than them. granted, johnny was at least a decade older than you, though there was a discernible difference between the age gap between the two of you and the gap between you and your undergraduate students. 
your button-up blouse finally came undone and jaemin didn’t waste a breath before he snatched off your bra, eager to suck your breasts into his mouth. you gasped out when he did, his tongue darting around your nipples. in the same way, haechan yanked your panties off, cupping between your legs without a second thought.
never in your life had you felt more defenseless, powerless. stripped of all autonomy and forced to let other people have their wicked ways with you. you felt nothing short of violated and it made you sick to your stomach, gut tossing and churning with reproach.
through your stinging eyes, blurry with hot tears, you watched haechan sink to his knees in front of your desk. you weren’t particularly enthusiastic about how exposed you were, your breasts out and your skirt bunched just above your thighs. it felt like the closest thing to walking around the plaza half-naked.
obviously, you felt more watched than you would’ve had it just been one of them, but you were at the mercy of three guys that were paying a godawful amount of attention to your bare figure. jaemin was fixed to your perky chest and jeno was watching haechan situate himself between your legs, holding them open for his friend in case you wanted to be defiant.
“haechan, i don’t want this,” you whined, wiping your face with the back of your hand. 
“that’s too bad, baby.” haechan wasn’t even looking at you, gaze locked on your pussy, like that was what you were reduced to. “don’t worry, it’ll feel good.”
you sucked in another gasp when his mouth angled towards your pussy without affording you a notice in advance, your body’s natural instinct being to shut your legs, but jeno was still holding them in place and he was infinitely stronger than you. with the vigorous training that it took to be a member of the campus’ athletic teams, it came to you as no shock, but you were heavily disappointed.
haechan’s tongue singled out your clit while he lapped at you, ravenous. the second he saw you on the first day of class, he knew that he had to have you. so when he found out that you were sleeping with his father, cheating on your husband with haechan’s dad of all people, he became furious. 
neither you or johnny were as good at keeping secrets as you thought yourselves to be. on more than one occasion, haechan saw you leaving their house. every now and then, he would see your name on his father’s phone. and it wasn’t fair. if anybody could please you, if anybody could bring you to heaven and back, it was the boy with his head buried between your legs.
as if matters couldn’t get any worse, haechan actually seemed to know what he was doing. though you would never admit it to his face, the way he was sucking at your bundle of nerves had you throbbing, pulsing involuntarily around nothing. you whimpered and whined, but chewed on your bottom lip to stifle the noise.
jaemin chuckled so quietly it was barely audible, but said nothing as of right now, cupping your tits in his palms and squeezing. his patience was much less limited than jeno’s, who was currently shifting out of his boxers, freeing his raging hard cock. you saw him in the corner of your misty eyes, noticing how rigid and thick his cock was, but said nothing.
what you didn’t expect, though probably should have seen coming, was for him to start jacking himself to the sight of you being mishandled. haechan wasn’t the only one that couldn’t stop thinking about from the moment you locked eyes. matter of fact, that mutual pining was the common denominator of this little team.
all three of them were sick in the head, out of their minds obsessed with you. you would have expected some lethal kind of rivalry to develop out of that, but instead, they were much more menacing about it. they were helping each other get what they wanted.
you were a little overwhelmed from all the attention and jeno wasn’t even touching you, but just knowing that he was stroking his cock for you was more than a little unnerving. jaemin’s hands were so strangely gentle, setting a pattern as he groped you, all the while haechan was eating you out vigorously.
“pretty, pretty. so pretty when you cry,” jaemin sang in a way that could’ve been kind, if you ignored the nature of what was happening to you. then, like he knew your secret and was implying that he wouldn’t tell, he whispered for only your ears, “pretty when you lie, too.”
it wasn’t fair. you didn’t want to like this, just like how you didn’t want to be aroused. but when haechan pushed a pair of fingers inside of your pussy you gushed and tightened around his digits. you were so unstill, it drove him mad, prompting him to go harder.
your brain was empty but racing all the while, thinking, this is so fucking wrong. you were fucking his father, for crying out loud, and even that was wrong. you didn’t care then, so according to their logic, it shouldn’t have made a difference now.
haechan and jeno’s grunts blended into one giant cacophony of sound, haechan moaning with a mouthful of pussy because he couldn’t get enough of the way you tasted and your pussy was spasming around his digits, whereas jeno was grunting because he thought you were most right now when you were deprived of all control.
blood was pumping quicker than ever through your veins, your heart screaming for survival. you weren’t even remotely in control of your own body anymore, seized not only by your three reckless students, but the pleasure burning through you like wildfire.
your office, that was typically admirably ventilated, seemed to hot to breathe in. but your breaths became quicker and shorter, as if there was no space in your lungs, and you started to feel the sweat cooling down your back, reminding you of how naked you were.
haechan was so hard, stiffening in his pants the longer he watched you start to unravel, and he could’ve probably gotten off just from making you cum. you were grinding your hips against his mouth, and his long, slender fingers that were surely getting you there. you might not have wanted to confess the truth, but your body couldn’t lie.
“she’s so close,” jeno commented with a chuckle, addressing you as if you weren’t even there. “fuck, i am too.”
a hole of negative emotions opened then and there and swallowed you whole, namely guilt and humiliation. you didn’t want haechan to make you cum, you didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of bringing you pleasure, but that ship had already sailed. 
nonetheless, you parted your lips and begged in between shaky moans, “haechan, stop. please, i’m begging you!”
“he’s not going to stop, sweetheart,” jaemin crooned, brushing a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. “don’t you see? he can’t get enough of your pretty pussy. you should feel so good about yourself.”
few things in life had ever made you feel this conflicted. on the one hand, this was degrading on way too many levels and you felt forcibly stripped of all of your dignity. but on the other, deep down inside, the sight of haechan with his head between your thighs as he licked and sucked at your cunt was inexplicably arousing.
and that did it for you. you tried to fight it, you really did, but your orgasm completely blindsided you, taking you by the reins and going to town. your lips parted in a cry of haechan’s name, your thighs trembling and heat striking through you like lightning as you gripped onto jaemin for dear life.
haechan continued to go down on you after you orgasmed, just until you finished more or less riding his face, going limp against your desk with only jaemin to keep you upright. you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think. all the blood was rushing to your head and your heart was thumping in your ears.
haechan finally pulled back, licking your arousal off of his lips and the corners of his mouth in a way that made your core throb emptily, then asked, “did you like it, dr. lee?”
your ears burned and you said nothing, because there was nothing that needed to be said. your answer was in the way your chest heaved like unstill waters, your fingers still holding onto jaemin’s shirt. like you thought you would collapse if you had nothing to anchor yourself.
jaemin took one glance at you and scoffed, “i think she loved it, man.”
there was something so smug in haechan’s stare, like he just knew that he had you.
when haechan moved, jeno came between your spread legs, still holding his cock while he stroked himself to climax in front of you. like it would never be satisfied, your pussy continued to throb at the sounds you were indirectly plucking out of him, culminating in one deep, guttural growl when he came, shooting his load on your cunt.
though you were (thank god) on birth control, him orgasming there still made you feel iffy. you could feel it trickling down into your hole and hated how eager it seemed to be filled. for half a second, you were convinced that was the worst that could happen.
imagine your shock when jaemin abandoned your boobs, soft and supple as they were, and shifted between your thighs next. you didn’t know what to expect when you noticed him move, they enjoyed keeping you guessing, but it definitely wasn’t for jaemin to lick at your release-stained pussy.
you gasped, “jaemin!”
the sound of him sucking and licking at your clit was lewd, and there were long, damp lines being made with his flattened tongue. while you were appalled, the other watched in amusement how jaemin unabashedly more or less ate jeno’s cum from your hole in a disturbing licking pattern. because where it was a nightmare for you, it was just one giant game to them.
to say nothing of the fact that you had only just orgasmed, sensitive. your thighs couldn’t handle the stimulation and you let out a breath of relief when his mouth separated from you, only for him to stand and force his lips against yours. you resisted, jolting away from him, but your attempts to evade him were in vain.
jaemin didn’t even need to grab your face to keep you still, because there was nowhere for you to hide. it was a disgusting, messy kiss, given that you were adamant on pushing him off. only so much of it was your fault though. jaemin liked it messy, liked how repulsed you were. he liked the grimace you were sporting and the blend of jeno’s cum and saliva dribbling down your chin. the damp spots of his saliva on your cheek from your attempts to dodge him and where his tongue pressed against you instead.
it was nauseating to you. you could taste jeno’s cum on your tongue, even though his cock hadn’t been anywhere near your mouth. and the the taste just wouldn’t go away.
jaemin, at last, pulled back, though only to laugh at the look on your face. “aw, don’t make that face. you liked it, right?”
you parted your lips to say deny him, but jaemin saw it coming and just kissed you again, not one to take no for an answer.
“okay, move your ass,” haechan said after a minute of watching you squirm. you never realized how strong jaemin was.
jaemin frowned, but moved out of the way. not because haechan told him to, but because he had something equally devious running through his brain.
you were baffled when you noticed haechan returning between your thighs, because he should’ve already had his fill. then, you noticed that he had freed his cock from his boxers in the time jaemin spent sucking on your tongue, and swallowed the lump in your throat.
you let out a cry of shock when they spread you over your desk the long way, carelessly toppling over your belongings, and yanked your skirt off your body completely. you were utterly naked, and there was no bit of you they hadn’t seen.
haechan positioned himself behind you, lining himself up at your entrance. there was so much terror in your body at the moment, scared not only for what was to come, but of liking it too.
“please,” you begged, trying to negotiate once more. “you boys should fool around with someone your own age.”
haechan snickered, as if that was funny. he probably thinks it is. “maybe, but where’s the fun in that?”
your jaw slacked when his first thrust drew a pitched cry from the back of your throat. he wasn’t even half as patient as his father would be to sheathe himself completely. johnny would take his time, wallowing in your wetness just before slowly but steadily filling you, inch by fucking inch. haechan, on the other hand, went straight for the kill.
but to your horror, you were soaked enough for him to slip right in smoothly, to say nothing of jeno’s leftover cum facilitating the process. haechan was girthy like johnny too, in spite of all of their stark differences, and you hated that it was so familiar how he was stretching you out.
“wait,” you whimpered, fingers clamping aggressively against the edges of your desk. “haechan, please. you don’t need to do this.”
irritated, jeno nudged jaemin, groaning, “will you shut her up already?”
“gladly,” jaemin chirped, a devilish little smile tugging at his lips.
you lifted your head up when you heard jaemin approaching the side of your desk that you were facing, watching him shuffle out of his pants and boxers, and you quickly started to flail. haechan grabbed your neck, lowered his head, and hissed, “behave, or we’ll have to tell the class that their favorite professor is just a slutty little whore.” 
you stilled, remembering what was at stake. it wasn’t just your career, but johnny’s too. the second it got out that the two of you were involved in an affair, you knew you would both have to answer for your sins.
when jaemin finally got his underwear off, lengthy hard cock standing angrily against his stomach, he positioned himself beside your mouth and crooned, “say ‘ah.’”
“i don’t want to,” you whimpered.
jeno crept over, evidently disgruntled, and there was a resounding smack when his palm landed flat against your cheek. “one more thing from you and your husband’s gonna get a nice surprise in his email,” he warned.
defeated, you silently opened your mouth, letting jaemin push himself to the back of your throat. he let out a pleasant little sigh, eyes fluttering closed, paying no attention to the tears dripping down your cheeks. your mouth was too warm for him to a give damn whether or not you wanted this, to care about what you were feeling.
all the while, haechan’s hands were bruising your hips with the merciless grip he had of them. unlike you, his moans were unrestrained, never shy to reveal the ecstasy making his blood pump and his dick throb. you were so wet, so tight, everything he imagined tenfold. his father didn’t deserve you, not in his opinion. everything johnny could do, haechan was certain that he could do better, even if you didn’t want to confess.
even if he was a lot less caring than his dad would present. you didn’t know johnny, not like you thought. the dark side haechan had didn’t just come out of nowhere. though you would never realize, there was a clear reason why haechan was so sick in the head, especially when it came to you. why he took great delight in forcing you over your desk, stuffing you full of his cock and listening to you cry, struggling to hide that you loved his cock.
“he doesn’t love you, you know,” haechan said none too gently, snickering from between your legs. “i hope you realize you’re just another easy whore. not the first, not the last.”
there was so much going on that you were hoping you could somehow detach yourself from the brutal reality. not only was your body overloaded, but your mind and soul, ripping a hole right through all that you thought to be true.
it was all too fucking much. “your mouth feels so good,” jaemin exhaled, a hand tangled through your hair.
“you should feel her pussy. she’s so fucking wet, dude. and she thinks we’re going to buy that she’s not begging for this,” haechan replied, completely degrading. 
jaemin chuckled breathlessly. you were sucking it out of him, against your will or not. “yeah, i can hear how wet she is.”
jeno said nothing, but you were already too overwhelmed to notice his absence in the conversation. he was engrossed in thought, waiting with staggering patience for his own turn. which wasn’t typical for him at all. he swore, when he was done with you, you weren’t even going to think for weeks. 
between haechan’s twisted smack of his hips against yours and the way jaemin was unabashedly using your mouth to get off, you couldn’t decide which was more brutal. torture was torture, but if it was meant to be so bad, there shouldn’t have been moans slipping from your mouth uncontrollably. there shouldn’t have been a familar weight sitting in the pit of your stomach, waiting to wreck you.
“i know you love this,” haechan said, maybe project just a little, but the body didn’t lie and he could feel you tightening. “i know you love this fucking dick. wish i could hear you say it, baby.”
“that can be arranged,” jaemin quipped, but it took you by surprise when he actually pulled his cock from your mouth. “c’mon, angel. tell haechan how much you love his dick.”
your face flushed with humiliation, but you knew what would happen if you failed to comply. “i...,” you started, hesitant. “i love your dick, haechan.”
haechan smacked your ass, making you stifle a scream. “again.”
you cried out, “i love your dick!”
“i know,” haechan said, sickeningly confident in himself. “i also know that you’re about to cum.”
it was maddening that your husband of ages could hardly even get you off these days but some students in your class were recognizing the signs in record time. you were also ashamed with yourself for being so aroused, for needing to orgasm this badly, but you forfeited control of yourself moments ago.
jaemin had enough and once his dick started to twitch desperately, he shoved his cock back into your mouth, chasing relief for the raging hard-on you’d given him. rather than you sucking him off, it was more of him relentlessly fucking your throat, not stopping when you gagged.
and it wasn’t long before the three of you ultimately came, like a chain of dominoes collapsing after each other. this orgasm was just as powerful as the one that came before, the room reeling as your screams were muffled against jaemin’s stiff cock. your whole body was a thousand degrees hotter. jaemin’s warm cum releasing in your mouth while haechan’s seeped deeply into your pussy.
although you tried to swallow jaemin’s cum, per his request, some of it dripped onto the floor. you were terrified of leaving evidence of this encounter, wishing you would’ve gulped it all back, but then you felt haechan’s cum leaking out of you and your priorities shifted.
“my turn,” jeno said, though that was a given. you were confused when he started to spread haechan’s cum over your asshole, though for the longest you could feel his stare burning through your backside.
baffled, and maybe somewhat startled, you asked, “jeno, what are you doing?”
“shut the fuck up,” jeno snapped belligerently, smacking his palm harshly against your cunt. you cried out in pain, unexpecting. “i’m tired of hearing your voice. just take it.”
but nothing could have prepared you for what was to come. nothing could have prepared you for the merciless way he penetrated your ass, effectively knocking the wind out of you. you felt like you couldn’t breathe, as if all the air in the sky was stolen and hid in this little box somewhere.
you wanted to scream, you wanted to beg for forgiveness for whatever you had done, but no sound would come from your mouth. there was only instant tears, your hands gripped the rim of your desk for purchase. the makeup you were wearing was ruined ages ago, but it had to have looked despicable now, because you were sobbing harder than ever.
“poor thing.” jaemin frowned, pretending to be compassionate. that was something he was good at, you realized. he had you fooled until you saw how recklessly he fucked your throat, and you came to accept they were all too alike.
“she’ll be, fuck, fine,” jeno groaned, careless. he was the roughest of the bunch, the most antagonistic. “this hole is so fucking tight.”
jeno was pressing you against the desk harder than haechan had, roughly mishandling you. it was obvious that jeno didn’t see you as his equal. when it came to you, all he gave a damn about was passing your class and fucking your ass.
never in your life had anyone ever fucked you there before, and the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. you were so repulsed, choking on your own feelings as they killed you slowly. the pain was unbearable, making it impossible to remain still, but that didn’t matter when jeno had you borderline flattened.
it was almost awe-inducing how he held you down with ease, regardless of how strong you thought you were and how violently you were reacting. it was the closest thing to being split open. pitiful little noises escaped you, but you bit them back, because the last thing you wanted was to get caught. somehow, though, the shock was more agonizing than the pain itself.
your agonized whimpers and jeno’s husky grunts made an awkward cacophony. if there was any of them that got off to your helplessness, you knew it was all of them, but jeno had to wallow in it more than either of them.
haechan and jaemin were stroking their cocks to the sight of you being ravaged to the point of total destruction. there were plenty of times in your life where you felt nothing short of broken, but this was a different variant, a kind from which you knew that you would never recover.
jeno couldn’t believe his thick cock was even fitting into your tight, flexing asshole, though then again, whatever you thought you couldn’t take, jeno would make you do. your body was for his own personal amusement. he leveraged himself deeper and deeper, groaning and laughing, using you to his advantage. because what jeno wanted, he always got. every time without fail. obviously, you were no exception to this pattern, even if it was to your own dismay.
your lip was bleeding from how frequently you were biting. all you wanted was to protect your reputation. you had things to lose, things you knew jeno would steal away from you in a heartbeat, because all he did was take.
“she’s such a damn whore, fuck. she should be grateful i’m fucking her,” jeno hissed, aggressive.
given how much you had heard adjacent statements in the past hour, you were starting to believe them, no matter how disparaging they were. you were accepting the cold truth, that this was your punishment for being unfaithful.
quickening his pace, jeno continued, “i’ve never wanted to fuck that nasty little pussy of hers. not when everybody’s been inside of it. but i can tell she’s never had this ass stretched before.”
his words were hurting more than his cruel movements, and you didn’t understand the science behind that. you whined, “jeno.” please, have mercy, was what you wanted to say, but you knew there was no point.
jeno squeezed your neck, cutting off your ability to inhale, and you felt every nerve in your body start to panic. “for the umpteenth time, shut the fuck up. no one’s fucking talking to you, bitch.”
you quieted, face tensing with delirious pain. 
“pathetic if you ask me,” haechan added, breath shaky. “her husband’s dick isn’t good enough for her, so she fucks my dad, and now that we give her three more, she still has the audacity to complain.”
jaemin snorted. “textbook cockslut.”
you wanted to speak, you were desperate to defend your honor and identity, but you had already said enough and you were lucky that they hadn’t already decided to expose you to the whole planet. you had no defenses against them, nothing in your arsenal. 
“begging us to stop, but she won’t stop fucking cumming. needy little bitch,” jeno chided, though judging from his breathlessness, he was far from disgruntled.
jaemin chortled, his cock still close to your face, and it was making you mildly uncomfortable. “maybe we should send her back to the husband with some tips.”
“oh, i’ve got one,” haechan said, beaming with his usual mischief. “hold her down and use her little holes until you’re done.”
“yeah, looks like she loves that,” jaemin retorted. 
jeno quipped, “we should’ve recorded. maybe showed him a tutorial.”
haechan blew out a contented sigh. “well, there’s always next time.”
your heart was taut with fear at the thought of there being a next time, but the three of your students were grinning with excitement, as if they wholly anticipated reliving this moment in the not so distant future.
“fuck, i’m gonna cum,” jeno grunted, wanting to go even deeper, but there was nowhere for him to move. 
haechan hummed, reminiscing over how good it felt to cum inside of your throbbing pussy. how you milked the cum out of him, bled him dry. “shame she’s on birth control. i overheard her and my dad talking,” he replied, nonchalant. “imagine if we got her pregnant.”
“man, don’t talk like that,” jeno groaned. 
haechan glanced to jaemin, both of them snickering amongst each other. “dude, i was just kidding. don’t tell me that’s actually getting your dick hard.”
“fuck, i’m gonna…”
the most delicious growl came from the tip of jeno’s tongue when he released inside of your asshole, his brows scrunching together with pleasure. his hips finally grinded to a halt when he met his climax, dumping way too much of his load inside. you could feel his fingertips leaving marks that would indefinitely stain your skin, and you dreaded having to explain them to your husband.
when jeno finally pulled away from you, having had his fill for now, your body went limp against your desk. you could have moved, but you were too exhausted. sweat cooled down your back, chilling you to shudders, but there wasn’t a single thought in your head. all you could do was lie there, used and exploited, hoping that life would return to the way you knew it before they broke you.
because right now, it was bland. the only thing you could feel was the soreness in your legs and the cum dripping from your hole, numbing yourself to everything else.
there was so patronizing about the way jeno turned to you, asking with the slyest grin on his face, “did you like it, dr. lee?”
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lov1ngreid · 6 months
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BOYS LIKE YOU | 1
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(pairings): highschool!spencer + cheerleader!reader both intended to be 18 in this story
(warnings): none!
(word count): 2.9k
(author’s note): so long i’m so sorry
hii i decided to split this fic into a mini series cause i have so many ideas and directions for it and i didn’t want to squish it into one long fic, some chapters maybe nsfw ;P i also wrote this with high school in mind, of course Spencer is regular high school age and not like twelve 🤨 but if you’d rather picture them in early college go ahead! also I usually HATEEE when fics have outfit inspos but soz I’m forcing you to imagine these outfits they’re so gorg 😭
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okay no more rambling!! if u wanna listen to what i did when i wrote this, here you go!! ➘
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“That’s what you’re wearing” Your brother brodie snickered from his bedroom as you strolled past it on the way to the bathroom, usually you wouldn’t have given in to his snide comments, which you were no stranger to. But it was thanksgiving if your brother thought your outfit was ugly, chances are, so would the rest of your family.
Your outfit always happened to be a topic of conversation.
Your movements halt when you finally process what he had said, before slowly taking a few steps backwards meeting his taunting face while he sat on the edge of the bed “What’s wrong with it?” You cock your head feeling the embarrassment trickle through your face up to your ears, usually you wouldn’t care what comments Brodie decided to make about your outfit, but a lot of people were going to be seeing this one.
Honestly you thought it was pretty tame considering the only revealing piece was your skirt, which frankly wasn’t that short, and you thought you had compensated with your boots.
“Why are you wearing… boots?” He laughed looking down at your outfit with furrowed eyebrows before looking back up at your flustered face “and why are they red?”
You scoffed, embarrassment completely diminishing when you find out that was his problem with your outfit “they’re maroon… and you’re wearing a doctor who shirt, don’t think you’re in any position to be judging me” you glare back at him uncrossing your arms.
Honestly, he has absolutely no right to be making fun of your outfit, despite being twins, you were the complete opposites. His outfits usually consist of different coloured converse and some sort of comic book shirt, yours consisting of literally anything else.
“I have a party afterwards anyways, I don’t have time to get changed”
“You have a party on thanksgiving?… who has a party on thanksgiving” Brodie scoffs finishing the lace on his second converse
“A lot of people” you smile sarcastically backing from his door frame to continue your task before you were rudely interrupted “not that you would know” you mumble under your breath before leaving his bedroom.
A little satisfied smile crept upon your face when you heard Brodie’s faint ‘hey!’ Emitting from his bedroom.
You knew your mother would be absolutely furious knowing you had intentions on leaving thanksgiving early to attend a party, which was exactly why you had no plans on telling her. Your family was big enough as is, and considering you had shared thanksgiving with the Reid family for 12 years and counting, with both combined there had to be one, or many pockets for you to escape unnoticed.
The car ride to the Reid family home always seemed so short, always feeling so much longer when you were riding there on bikes, or walking there after school.
You couldn’t remember the last time you had even used your bike, it had to be collecting dust in your garage by now, you truly don’t think you had used it since starting highschool, despite your brother’s efforts to get you to ride to Spencer's house with him, each time you declined, something always more important popping up.
The familiar smell of the house flooded your nose while you took a step in, it always smelt like chai and vanilla, and it always looked like fall threw up on it, decorated with faux autumn leaves and pumpkins all year round, they always just added Santa hats to the pumpkins in December, you knew that was Spencer’s doing.
The wind was almost taken from you while Diana embraced you in the biggest hug, almost knocking over the cupcakes from the tray you were holding, giggling a little you returned the hug one handed of course. She always smelt like the house times ten, the vanilla smell becoming so much stronger the closer you were to her, pulling back she embraced your face in her warm slender hands brushing your cheeks softly with the pad of her thumb.
“You look so beautiful” she smiles, your face turning pink at her compliment, she did this every year. Every year she hugs you, looks like she’s about to cry and then goes on about how beautiful you look for the rest of the night, and every year it makes you feel a little more guilty about not coming around as much.
Both your parents embrace Diana and William before they usher you to the beautifully set dinner table, where the rest of his and your family awaited your arrival, both yours and his grandparents chatting away at the kitchen bench about some sort of football nonsense.
Always in awe of Diana’s meals, you debated on changing your mind and slipping out after dinner instead, not wanting to miss out on her carefully cooked Turkey.
Despite getting swept away in greeting the rest of your family, as well as the rest of the Reid’s, it didn’t take you long to notice one missing Reid.
Regardless of your efforts to talk to Spencer, he never really seemed that interested in befriending you after middle school, every time you tried to talk to him in class he always went quiet and dismissive, or snapped mean answers back at you, and you simply took the hint.
Spencer saw the way your friends snickered to themselves when you tried to speak to him, the way they’d whisper when he walked past, even though you’d smile and wave, he always saw them laugh behind you. He knew deep down it wasn’t your fault, but he couldn’t help but blame you when you never actually stopped any of your friends from making snide comments at him or his friends.
Excusing yourself from your family, you hopped up the stairs, muscle memory walking you towards Spencer’s room before you mind had caught up,
Reading the large ‘S R’ sticker on the bedroom door, you chuckle to yourself a little, staring at the crooked R knowing it was like that cause you couldn’t reach it to meet the S in the fourth grade, Spencer had refused to help you, cackling as he watched you on your tippy toes while you begged him to stop laughing.
Before your mind could even process anything, you brought your arm up to knock on his door, swallowing nervously.
You weren’t even sure why you were nervous, he just seemed to shut down any attempt at being friends and you never knew why. He got along with Brodie just fine, they were honestly really close, they hung out at school everyday and studied together after school on Wednesdays and Fridays, it just seemed like your invitation stopped one day.
The door swung open while your mind had still been dissociated thinking about all the attempts you made to talk to him, snapping you from your brain fog, Spencer stood at the door almost equally as confused as you, honestly you didn’t know why you were there, and as smart as he was, he didn’t know either.
“I brought you a cupcake” you chuckle pushing the baked good towards him with your right hand, eyebrows furrowed he takes a look at the seemingly vanilla cupcake in your hand before looking back up at your eyes.
“I don’t like cupcakes” Spencer shakes his head quickly while his hand grips harder on his door handle, debates in his mind about closing it on you.
“Yes you do” Cocking your head you stare at Spencer confused, he loved cupcakes, he also loved your cupcakes “I literally saw you eating one in the library the other day” you scoff at his obvious lie.
“And why were you in the library” he raises both his eyebrows, glancing back down at the pretty cupcake you had offered him, which he began to quickly regret declining, because he really did love your cupcakes.
“Reading?” You conceded pulling your arm holding the cupcake back “are you implying I don’t read Spencer Reid?” This was the most he had talked to you in months, you never realized you could miss a person's voice despite them being alive and well.
“If the boot fits” he shrugs leaning on his door, the grip on his door handle loosening a little, you stare a little taken back, he doesn’t talk to you for years, and then all of a sudden on thanksgiving he decides he’s going to spit back sassy little comments at you?
“Can you just take the cupcake?.. it’s pumpkin spice” you admitted pushing the sweet back in his direction, a little part of Spencer’s facade broke down, almost giving into the cupcake “I even made the little pumpkin out of fondant… it took forever” you whisper the last part almost talking to yourself.
He tried his hardest to stay strong but you had just about broken him down at this point, with a displeased groan rolling his eyes he reached out to snatch the cupcake from your soft hand, earning a small smile to form on your lips.
It only took him seconds to dig into the treat before a soft chuckle escaped your lips “can I come in?” You smile glancing behind him into his room, it looked almost exactly the same as it did when you were fourteen, posters in the same place, no furniture was rearranged, you even spotted the mini dalek figurine you had bought him on his top shelf.
Hesitantly Spencer nods stepping away from the door frame to welcome you in, his room was always kept neat, sheets tucked perfectly under his mattress, and books always in the correct spot. His weakness, however, was the countless amount of school work pages spread across his desk.
Taking a seat at his desk your eyes still gaze around his room, feeling like a blast from the past, all the books you read, series reruns you watched and stories you wrote coming back to you in a wave of memories.
“So…” he mumbled, mouth still half full with your cupcake before sitting down on the edge of his bed “do you need science homework?” Shrugging boring his eyes back into yours.
You scoff, frankly offended he would even ask you such a thing “no?.. Spencer, you and I have almost the same science grades." You'd be lying if you said you’ve never thought of asking Spencer for homework, especially on nights where cheer practice ran late and you didn’t have nearly enough time to finish, but you’ve never actually asked.
“Yeah almost” scoffing while he brushes his hands against each other wiping the crumbs of the cupcake away, you sat there stunned a little, he knew you’d never ask him considering your friendship… situation, you wouldn’t use him.
You felt the rage boiling in you for a little at his attitude towards you, considering you had done absolutely nothing for him to be mad at you for, sure you weren’t in the same friend group, but he would know more than anyone the statistics of middle school friends drifting apart in highschool, you swivel his desk chair to face his desk, frustrated palming your face with your hands dragging them down a little.
You allow your eyes to rake across his messy paper filled desk before they’re drawn to one page in particular, written in pink pen on beige lined paper, quickly snatching it from the pile you let your eyes scan over it a little before letting out an unexpected laugh.
Catching Spencer’s attention his eyes had almost bulged out of his head once he realized what piece of paper you had in your hands.
“Dear Spencer…” you start reading aloud ignoring Spencer’s loud attempts to make you put it down “I’ve thoroughly enjoyed our conversations and wanted to let you know-”
“Put it down please” he groans, reaching forwards to grab it from your hands, only for you to snatch it towards you standing up from his desk chair.
“-That I’ve liked you for a while now- Sadie Keller!” You gasp grinning up at Spencer while he makes every attempt to steal the paper back from your grip “you never told me you liked Sadie Keller!” you playfully smack him with the piece of notebook paper before letting him grab it from your grasp.
“I don’t really tell you anything” Spencer crumpled up the paper before tossing it back onto his desk, you face fell a little at his words, only because he was right, he didn’t really tell you anything at all, because he didn’t ever talk to you, because you weren’t really friends.
You almost could’ve sworn you felt a lightbulb click on above your head while you watched Spencer scurry his papers together to make a neat pile “come to a party with me” you rush causing his movements to halt slowly turning his head to meet your gaze.
“Why on earth would I do that… it’s thanksgiving” he reasoned, confusion painted across his face. He simply could not fathom why you would want to take him to a party, he also couldn’t fathom why he was considering it.
“God” you groaned, moving to take a seat on his bed now “people have got to get over that” rolling your eyes you pat down your skirt a little before continuing your attempt to read his face for clues on what was going on inside his head.
“Why would you want to be seen at a party with me?” He queried, attitude dripping from his sentence, watching as your face dropped and your brows furrowed coloured him confused, why would you want to be seen with him?
“Sadie will be there… and I can’t see a potential love story and not indulge” you snicker, almost dismissing his question, you thought you’d spare a sentimental conversation about how much you missed him and instead go an easier route, you wanted him to come for his benefit.
To your surprise, he looks as if he considers it for a while, it was the first time you actually took in what he was wearing, a fitted doctor who shirt and gray sweatpants, the same exact doctor who shirt your brother has on, you cringed a little at the thought that they had coordinated that.
“Fine” he says after a while of silence, you simply cannot help the grin creeping up on your face “but only because of Sadie, and not because of you” he rushes again, almost sounding like something he was trying to convince himself rather than you.
Holding your hands up in defense you smile at his surprising compliance “how are we even supposed to leave without anyone noticing?” Beginning to worry that both your families were beginning to wonder where both of you had gone.
In all seriousness, your family actually had not noticed that the both of you were up in Spencer’s room, and were much more occupied by the game of football they all huddled around to watch.
“Follow me genius”
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go to PART TWO
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spiderlily-w1tch-blog · 5 months
Text
𝙰𝚒𝚣𝚊𝚠𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚊 - 𝙰𝙱𝙾 𝚄𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚝
𝕎𝕀𝕊ℙ𝕊𝕀𝕄ℙ𝕊
— — —
ft Unknown Omega/First Heat, stepcest, claiming|mating + Daddy Kink, fingering, belly bulge, creampie, knotting, breeding
𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: I do not own BNHA or its characters, all credit goes to its creators and actors
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: includes stepparent-stepchild stepcest and large age gap(R: early 20s, A: late 40s-early 50s), obligatory exhibitionism/public sex warning (Series Warning)
WC: 4,375
【Masterlist】
— — —
“Daddy! Can you drive me to the mall? I gotta get my phone fixed!” You called down the stairs to your stepfather. While you had your license, you didn’t have your own car and your stepdad’s was the only car you could use, though never without his permission.
“Sure thing, sweetheart! Just meet me in the car when you’re ready to go?” You heard his deep voice call back up to you. His deep, gravelly voice had an odd effect on you today. You had always known his voice was hot, though you tried to not let your mind wander too much. Today, though, it sent a shiver down your spine and just about made you weak in the knees. Literally. You felt your knees almost buckle below you.
“What the..” You muttered but just shrugged it off as your mind still being a little hazy from sleep. So you continued to slide on your clothes and pack your messenger bag.
“You almost ready, princess?” As you heard his voice again, the same shiver shot down your spine and a warmth planted itself in your lower belly. Now chalking it up to simply being hungry, you just grabbed your bag and threw the strap over your shoulder.
“Coming, daddy!” You heard the door close though it didn’t latch and you jogged down the stairs to meet your stepdad at his truck.
“Morning, princess. What’s wrong with your phone?” He asked when you climbed into the passenger seat.
You looked over at him and noticed his long black hair was tied back in a loose bun that hung low on the back of his head and his stubble was growing back from when he’d had to shave it for a meeting with the school board of the High School where he works. He wore a tight-fitting long sleeve black shirt and simple dark blue jeans with his normal black boots. His normally tired eyes didn’t quite seem tired but they were still lidded in an easy manner.
“I have no clue when it happened but the screen is entirely cracked and it looks like someone ran over it with at least a dirt bike..” You grumbled, twisting to pull your seatbelt across your body, leaving a hint that your stepbrother might have been responsible, though your stepdad seemed to gloss over it. He probably chalked it up to your constant butting heads with his son.
“Huh, well, hopefully, they can fix it quickly, it’ll be bad if no one can reach you if you go out on your own.” The rumble of the engine shook the truck and he started on his way to the super-mall in town since that was the closest place with a cell phone shop.
“While we’re there do you wanna get some food? I’m starving!” You announced with a slight laugh, seeing an amused smile playing on the Alpha’s features as he shook his head at your dramatics.
“Sure, princess, we can get some food. You okay with the stuff they got in the food court or do you wanna check anywhere else out?” He asked glancing for half a second at you out of the corner of his eye.
“Hmm.. Well, I’ll probably have to leave it with them to see if they can salvage it, or at least my data, so we should probably stick close.” You reasoned, thinking of places in the mall with any good food.
“Good thinking, we’ll get there and see where our bellies take us.” He chuckled, patting his hand down on your thigh which made you laugh more with his sentence. He fully turned to look at you with his amused smile when he finally parked at the mall, which you hadn’t realized you’d arrived at.
Having been so caught up in conversation, you hadn’t realized that you felt really warm and a haze starting to infect your mind. As you moved to leave the car, you felt an uncomfortable throb in your nether regions. Pushing it to the side in favor of getting your phone fixed, you trudged forward with the tall black haired man into the mall.
“You feeling okay, sweetheart? You look a little red.” Said man asked, lifting his hand to rest it on the side of your neck opposite him, slightly wrapping his arm around you. The touch on your scent gland felt better than you ever could have imagined and your instincts all but screamed at you to curl into his body, but you resisted any and all reaction.
“Y-yea.. Maybe it’s just the summer heat catching up to me, I guess I might have put on one too many layers,” You reasoned, forgetting that you only wore one layer over your underwear, as just a tank top and leggings.
“Hmm.. Okay, but if you start feeling off you tell me, alright? I’ll drive you home and come back to grab your phone if I need to.” He kept his arm around your shoulders, though he removed his hand from your neck. The loss of contact made you inexplicably want to whine. ‘It’s probably just because I’m feeling weird so I want the comfort or something..’
“‘Kay, thanks, Daddy.” You slightly leaned into him with a content breath and he just wrapped his arm further around you as you both walked through the bustling hallways. Finally reaching the cell phone shop, you were glad you didn’t have to wait too long to reach the desk.
“How can I help you- Oh! Aizawa Sensei! What are you doing here?” The green-haired Beta teen behind the desk greeted the black-haired Alpha.
“Midoriya,” Your stepdad greeted back with a slight nod, “I’m here with my stepdaughter, her phone is busted so we need to get it fixed.” He simply explained, vaguely gesturing to you with a glance, you still being tucked into his side and still looking slightly flushed.
“Oh, hello! Are you feeling alright?” The Beta, Midoriya as it seems, asked with worry upon seeing you flushed and leaning into your stepdad.
“Mhm, fine, thank you, just a little off today,” You offered with a smile which seemed to appease the boy.
“Well, alright then! What seems to be the problem?” He offered a smile of his own in return.
“You tell me,” You chuckled, fishing your phone out of your bag as you moved to stand on your own away from the comfort of your Alpha stepdad’s side. You placed your phone on the counter and badly concealed a laugh at the way the green-haired boy’s equally green eyes nearly bulged at the sight.
“W-What happened??”
“Not sure. I left it on the kitchen counter to make dinner and I couldn’t find it for an hour or so afterwards and suddenly it appeared like that in my room. I personally suspect my stepbrother..” You muttered at the end, earning another chuckle from the man beside you.
“I think you’re just looking for an excuse to blame him for something, sweetheart.”He teased, setting his hand on your shoulder as he sent another amused grin at you as he eyed you out the corner of his eye, making you ‘Hmph’.
“Well, I’ll have to check with the Techies if this can even be salvaged, and if not we’ll do whatever we can to retrieve your data. Either way, it’ll be a while so if you just want to stick around the mall until it’s ready, that’ll probably be best. Aizawa Sensei, we can let you know when it’s ready since the time can vary by whichever process is needed. Either way, I’ll get you guys a discount.” He lowered his voice with a mischievous smile and a playful wink.
“Thank you so much! You are a lifesaver! If I don’t have my phone I’ll pretty much be confined to the house without a chaperone,” You chuckled.
“Thank you, Midoriya. We’ll stick around near here until then.” Your stepdad said, giving a small nod of appreciation. After leaving your phone in the care of his student, the Alpha lead you out of the shop and started walking in the direction of the food court.
“You still hungry, princess?” He leaned down to speak into your ear from how loud the corridor was with the people yelling speaking loudly to each other. The closeness and feeling of his breath on your ear and neck sent a shiver wracking through your body and your knees weakened leading to you falling into his embrace, though it could easily be passed off as simply leaning back into him.
“Uhm.. A-a bit, yea..” You said, moving to lead him to the restaurant stations before he could question your stutter.
Once you arrived you were then even more flushed and you felt heat rising in every part of you, between your legs throbbing even more with a sort of cramping fire in your lower belly. You were panting and the haze in your mind had even more of a hold on you now. As you entered the dining area you could feel all the sensations overwhelming you.
“Daddy..” You whined, entirely falling into him for support as your legs couldn’t keep you up any longer.
“Y/n…” The Alpha muttered out your name, his arms wrapped around your back, keeping you up. His voice was huskier and thicker and when you brought your head up to look at him, you saw his pupils were blown and his nostrils were slightly flared.
“Daddy… It.. It hurts…” The heat was overtaking your body and the throbbing between your legs was verging on painful, your lower belly feeling just about on fire and an ache building inside that your instincts knew the solution to. It was your instincts that told you that that ache you felt was from the emptiness you were so hyper-aware of.
“D-Daddy… Please.. Make it stop.. Make the heat go away.. Please… Alpha..” As soon as his denomination left your lips he had your neck craned up, cradling the back of your head, his lips locked with yours. Your mouths moved clumsily against each other, teeth bumping and saliva leaking down your chins as your tongues tangled wetly. Your pheromones leaked out in droves and made every Alpha in the area turn and look.
‘Unclaimed Omega! Just presented!’ All of their instincts practically screamed at them. When they turned and saw an Alpha already ravaging you, their jealousy and competitiveness flared. A few started moving towards where your stepdad had hoisted you onto a table and started ripping your tank top off your body.
The second that your Alpha stepfather noticed other Alphas encroaching on his Omega- stepdaughter- he turned and planted his hands on either side of you. His hands, were far enough behind you to shield you from the Alphas trying to sneak a peak. He then let out the most vicious, possessive growl you’d ever heard from him and it sent another shockwave of need through you.
“A-Alpha..!” You let out a whiny moan, catching his attention once again. He dipped back in, making quick work of shredding the rest of your top, and started laving his tongue over your scent gland. His mouth pressed against your Claim Site made slick pool in your underwear and your need to submit grew even stronger. Suddenly, he stopped. He pulled away from your neck and clenched his teeth.
“Fuck… Can’t claim you… Fuck, I’m so sorry, princess.. I’ll make it stop hurting.. but.. I can’t claim you. No matter how fuckin’ much I fuckin’ want to, princess..” He muttered in your ear. You didn’t entirely know what exactly he was talking about but you knew it made you whine and let out a whimper. “Shh, it’s okay, princess. I’ll make you feel good, okay? That sound good, Omega?” At the sound of the title, it’s like something snapped in you and you didn’t let yourself wallow in the confusing distress his proclamation caused and only focussed on trying to get his clothes off, or at least enough that you could reach your end goal.
“Alpha.. Alpha, please.. Need.. Need a…” You tried to beg but you didn’t even know what you were begging for. Your stepfather assisted in your messy rush to get his pants open with one hand while the other lifted your chin to press another sloppy kiss to your already swollen lips.
“Need a knot, princess, ‘n’ I’m gonna give you one. Promise.” He growled out against your lips in his sultry voice.
“Yes!” Your instincts cried out that that was exactly what you needed, ecstatic that your Alpha was going to give it to you.
“Just hang on a second, ‘Mega, ‘kay?” He asked, trying desperately to stay calm and not lose his head. He knew that the second he gave into his instincts fully he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from claiming you. You, his little stepdaughter who still calls him Daddy, even though you’re already 19. 19, and only now presenting, as an Omega, at that, 3 years late which led to the assumption you were a Beta. Oh, how wrong they all were.
He deftly hooked his fingers in the waistband of your leggings and shimmied them down enough to hook into your panties as well. Quietly instructing you to lift your hips as much as you could, he slid your leggings down to bunch around your knees. The scent of your slick grabbed the attention of everyone around, not just the Alphas, drawing in Betas, too. The power of a freshly presented Omega surely was a dangerous one.
“Fuck, princess… You’re drawing everyone’s attention..” Your stepdad growled out in a sort of prideful possessiveness like he was glad that everyone was not only watching but desperately wishing they could take his place, “They can all smell your slick..” He smirked as he bit his lip when he dragged his fingers through your lower lips. The feeling on your oversensitive cunt had you throwing your head back and letting out a loud keen.
“D-daddy..!” You moaned loudly when he dipped two fingers in, both going in easily with extra space left over. Taking advantage of that, he slid a third finger in to join them, adding to your pleasure, finally feeling a stretch.
“Fuck…” You heard one of the bystanders moan lowly, making you look around and notice all the people watching with varying mixtures of lust, jealousy, and fluster.
“Ahh.. Daddy.. They’re.. they’re watching..” You got out with a moan, though you were far from dissuaded by the audience.
“They are, ‘Mega. They’re all watching you. You’re so fucking gorgeous they can’t take their eyes off you..” Your stepdad told you, spreading his fingers and giving you an even more delicious stretch.
“Please! Alpha! Please! Need you.. Need your knot!” You begged loudly, purposely glancing around and watching the reactions of all the other Alphas around you. All their eyes were firmly on you, some of them had even pulled their own cocks out and began stroking them.
“Of course, princess..” Your Alpha promised, leaning in once again and pressed his lips to yours, “Whatever my Omega wants..” He let out a husky growl into your open and panting mouth as he reached to lift your legs to align with his torso in parallel.
Then, finally, you felt what you had been needing for what felt like forever. You felt his cock pressing against your awaiting hole, trying to press in, to fully breach you.
One gutsy Alpha from the crowd decided he’d had enough watching and wanted to shove his knot inside of you if your stepfather was going to take so long. He stepped forward and let out arrogant and dominating pheromones to hopefully make the black-haired man step aside and simply allow him to dominate you instead.
The moment your Alpha smelt the other Alpha approaching and sensed his intent, he did 2 things simultaneously that made you tense up in an immediate orgasm.
He whipped his head around and let out a growl so possessive and protective and downright threatening. The other Alpha not only backed off but immediately submitted and bowed his head, his arrogance having entirely evaporated.
At the same time, he slammed his hips forward and bottomed out in one thrust. You felt the tip of his cock immediately make contact with your cervix and it only confirmed what your instincts had been latently screaming. He is the perfect Alpha, he fills you perfectly and it’s as if he was always meant to be there, situated inside you, filling you wholly.
The growl he let out shook through his entire body and in turn, it reverberated inside you as well. You felt the vibrations against your clenching walls and you even felt it where his pelvis was pressed flush against the backs of your thighs. The neatly trimmed hair at the base of his dick pressed right against your clit.
“F-fuuucckk-!” You nearly screamed at the instant feeling of fullness. Your stepfather’s hands gripped tightly against your legs, still up and flush to his chest, forcing himself to keep his hips still to let you adjust to the size. He hadn’t given you time to accommodate him as he went in so he worried he would only harm you if he started right away.
“P-please!! D-Daddy-! Move! Move! Please!” You could only beg for what wholly occupied your hazy mind, only knowing your need to be thoroughly filled and bred. That was all he needed to hear as he leaned forward, just slightly, enough to let your knees fold over his shoulder.
Giving you a silent warning with his eyes, he started moving his hips, pulling out until only the tip was left. From there, he immediately began a rough pace. The table he had lifted you into, which you vaguely noted at some point was bolted to the floor, began to shake with the force of his thrusts. His left forearm wrapped tighter around both of your thighs as his other hand snapped to grip your waist in a way that felt like it was divined.
“Fuck, Omega.. Fuck, princess.. You feel so fucking good,” his stubble scratched pleasantly at the flesh of your thigh as he spoke, nipping them every once in a while, “so fucking perfect, ‘Mega..” His words began to slur as he lost himself to the feeling of your cunt gripping down on him like a vice.
“Alpha.. Alpha!! Need.. need your cum, please! Fuck, Alpha, please!!!” You simply shouted out what your Omega was telling you, not even knowing if you were getting any coherent words out at all, though that didn’t matter to you. Not to you, not to the raven-haired Alpha plowing into you, not to any of the bystanders enjoying the show.
With your head thrown back in pleasure from the delicious scrape of your stepdad’s cock against your walls, you could faintly gather that a couple of Alphas had paired with the watching Betas. They plowed into them at the same rhythm you felt your hips clashing with your stepdad’s. It seemed at least one had even already knotted and was simply humping in tandem.
Many other cocks were visible as well, being fucked into fists or simply teased, some were buried in the throats of Betas and the few other Omegas alike. You almost felt envious of the Omegas getting to choke on a cock, your mouth feeling empty for a split second before a loud cry of pleasure was ripped from your throat.
Your stepdad had used his Alpha Claws to shred your leggings right down the middle and, almost simultaneously, pressed your knees to your chest. He leaned forward even more, adding a slight burn to the backs of your thighs, though you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Your knees were now thrown over both shoulders as he relentlessly pounded into you, hitting all new spots from the new angle.
You could feel his cock head drag over your g-spot before it rammed into your cervix, again and again, as if it were demanding entry for itself. Your lewd moans and the wet slapping of skin against skin, along with the loud squelch of your cunt, still gushing slick were reverberating around the entire dining area. You wouldn’t be surprised if the sounds reach all the way back to the Cell Phone Shop.
Soon enough, you felt the beginning of his knot forming and catching on your hole the more it inflated. The feeling of it pushing its way into your sopping hole, again and again, was going to drive you insane. After a few more thrusts and the recognition that his knot was nearing full, your Alpha stepfather shallowed his thrusts just enough to only leave his knot out until he reached full capacity.
His thrusts stayed fast but eased up on their force, making you let out an instinctive whine. You needed to be filled. Filled to the brim! No shallow thrusts! No soft thrusts! You needed a knot!
Luckily, it seemed your prayers were answered almost immediately as his knot reached full inflation and after only a couple more thrusts, he rocketed his hips into yours and shoved his knot inside you. The stretch of his large knot made you cry out in ecstasy from the sting of it forcing its way inside you. Finally. Finally! You had the knot inside you that you so desperately needed.
Mere moments after his knot was fully settled inside you, you felt his hot cum shoot out inside you and fill you to the brim. It was only then that you had been able to notice that his cock alone had managed to cause a bulge in your belly from how deep it reached and the bulge only seemed to grow with how much seed he was implanting in you. In your womb.
Faintly, as if from far away, you heard most of the audience you had wracked up reach their own ends, some inside of someone, others into their hands.
“Alpha..” You breathed contently, letting out a sigh of relief at finally being filled with both knot and seed, and at the ache being released from your legs as he moved to let them rest comfortably beside his hips. You looked down and gently placed a hand, aching from how hard you had been gripping the edges of the table,(though you don’t remember doing so) over the swell of your stomach, smiling weakly at the warmth it emanated.
“Princess…” Your Alpha responded, lifting his hand to place it over yours, “Do you feel that, ‘Mega? That’s where you’ll be carrying our pups. I’ll keep you full with my cum for your entire heat and make sure… Make sure that you’re carrying my pups.” You looked up and met his onyx eyes, his hair loose from his low bun and falling in his face, making him look like a being of pure beauty and sex sculpted by the Gods themselves. He had a lazy yet confident grin on his lips, a mixture of yours and his saliva making them glisten, the faintest hint of his Alpha Fangs showing.
He looked like the perfect vision of an Alpha. The perfect vision of Your Alpha. He may not be able to claim you, but you wouldn’t let that stop you from declaring yourself as his. You would proudly carry his pups and submit to his every desire like the perfect little Omega for him.
Your Alpha leaned down and kissed you again, though this time it was slow and sensual and loving rather than the fast and wet, fiery passion it had been before.
“Love you, princess. So fucking much..” He panted against your lips, pressing another chaste peck before resting his forearms beside my head to keep himself up.
“Love you, too.. Daddy..” Your voice was slurred with fatigue, both from the exertion of being perfectly bred and from the pure exhaustion your first heat had shot through you.
You didn’t know when, but you slightly stirred awake from when you had, apparently, passed out, at the sound of a low growl. You were still mostly asleep so you couldn’t comprehend much, but you could tell you were now being held against your stepdad’s chest as he sat in what seemed to be a booth. You vaguely recognized that he had growled at an Alpha who had gotten just barely too close to you both.
The protectiveness lulled you back into a comfortable sleep against his chest, happily breathing in his pheromones. You hadn’t been able to even realize if you could smell his pheromones earlier, your mind too occupied by the physical sensations you were receiving.
When you awoke again, you were situated in his truck, buckled up as he pulled out of the parking lot. You realized you were in his shirt and some new pants that seemed to have been bought just earlier. You felt an ache in your hips and between your legs, one you knew you wouldn’t trade for the world. Tiredly, you dragged your hand to rest over your lower belly once again.
“You finally awake, princess?” Your stepfather’s husky voice asked, seeming more than content. Looking over you found him shirtless and smiling at you as he waited for the light to change. You gave a nod with a matching grin, singing contently.
“Yea.. I’m finally awake..” You spoke, voice hoarse from your loud moans and cries, though you couldn’t be happier.
“I’m awake..” Your Omega purred happily, the sound emanating from you, too, filling the truck with the sound of a happy, filled, and bred Omega.
You could feel the heat calming in your body, leaving you with an exhausted form feeling aches all over and a feeling inside you that you couldn’t pinpoint. All you knew was that your Omega was completely and wholly content and happy. You felt inexplicable giddiness and ecstatics, like everything had gone according to some grand plan.
You couldn’t seem to bring your hand away from your belly, feeling like you were meant to hold it. To cradle it.
‘Who knows? I’ll just have to figure out these instincts as I go.. Maybe it’s an Omega thing.’
— — —
𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥:
@frosch-thefrog
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rubycruzin4abruzin · 1 month
Text
never been (stage) kissed
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Summary: After years of being a struggling actress in Los Angeles, you finally land your big break! The only problem is, you’ve been cast opposite your longtime celebrity crush… Ruby Cruz. What will you do when the director demands a kiss between the two of you?
Pairing: ruby cruz x actress!reader
Contains: mature language, small amount of adult humor, kissing, fluff, thigh touching, in depth details of Hollywood movie shooting, anxious!reader, publicity tweets and comments, ruby being the sweetest girl EVER
Word Count: 3.1k
A/N: This is a Real Person Fiction. I’ve included a mass disclaimer of RPF guidelines here. Make SURE to click the link before reading, it’s extremely important for the safety of all Real People involved in this fiction.
———
You stared at the movie script in your hand, biting your lip to stop from squealing. After being in Los Angeles for the past five years, you had finally landed your big break.
You had known that you wanted to act ever since your mother signed you up to be a munchkin in a community theatre production of “The Wizard of Oz.” Of course, being a stubborn elementary schooler, you fought her on it, saying the songs were “stupid” and the costumes were “itchy.” But as soon as opening night came, and the lights hit your face, you put on a smile and celebrated the death of the Wicked Witch like it was something you’d been waiting for your entire life.
After the song's last note, deafening applause echoed around the theater, causing adrenaline to course through your veins. In that moment, you decided to spend the rest of your life chasing that feeling.
When you reached middle school, you joined their drama department, taking theatre as an elective class while occasionally participating in the school plays. Once high school rolled around, you began to take some of the more advanced classes, and even competed in a couple One-Act Play competitions. A lot of the people you started taking classes with eventually got bored and left to pursue other hobbies, but over the years you just fell more and more in love with acting, and became completely dedicated to your craft.
Instead of attending college, after you graduated high school you packed up whatever you needed and moved across the country to a small town about half an hour away from Los Angeles. The area was slightly sketchy, your apartment was small, and you had to work two jobs while sharing with four other roommates just to make rent.
Los Angeles kinda… sucked. But you had stars in your eyes and couldn’t be happier.
Unfortunately, you were kind of in for a rude awakening once audition season rolled around. Back in high school, you would book leads left and right. Now, it seemed like the only gigs you could book were background work, maybe a role in a rinky-dink student film if you were lucky. You always took what you could get, but you longed for something that could get your foot in the door.
One day, one of the short films you starred in entitled “Attack of the Killer Zombie Prom Queens” got entered into some film festival, and not only did it win an award you couldn’t remember the name of, it ended up going viral on YouTube, and not in a bad way either. Your performance in that film was astounding.
Plus, not that this was the sole reason the film blew up, but as an actress in your early 20’s who tended to take care of herself, you were kind of… well… hot.
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Suddenly, you were getting recognized in public, signed with an agency, and landing more notable roles. You were featured in a music video for an up-and-coming country artist, booked a commercial for a costume makeup company (in which you brought back your look from “Attack of the Killer Zombie Prom Queens”), and even starred in three episodes of a new series on HBO Max.
Just when you thought life couldn’t get any better, one day you were coming back from what was either your third or fourth audition of the day, when you got a call from your agent on the drive home. You groaned, almost certain she was calling to schedule another “last-minute” audition. Sure you appreciated how hard she worked to get you booked, but you were also so tired after a long day.
To your surprise, when you picked up the phone, she ecstatically announced that you had booked a huge role.
In a feature film.
Starring alongside your celebrity crush… Ruby Cruz.
You had to pull over on the side of a highway to keep from swerving out of excitement.
Ruby had been your celebrity crush since you saw her in the Disney+ series “Willow.” Her masculine ambience, her devil-may-care attitude, and the way she swung her sword had you absolutely drooling. Somehow, you finished the entire series in two days, and immediately ran to IMDB to add Every Single Thing she’s been in to your watch list.
Now, you stood in front of the building where your first read-through was supposed to take place, the script for “Aliens of Atlantis” resting in your shaking hands. You gulped as you pushed open the door, wondering how you were going to keep your cool around Ruby when the very thought of her practically sent you into cardiac arrest.
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Walking into the reading room, you were met with several chairs arranged into a circle and sounds of chatter from the other actors. You recognized a few of them from some smaller projects, even recognizing one from a movie that had come out the previous year. Your eyes scanned the room for Ruby, heart beating out of your chest when they landed on the back of a choppy brunette bob.
When Ruby turned around, you swore her blue eyes sparkled under the fluorescent lights. She caught you staring at her from across the room, and shot you a wide toothy smile before walking over to you.
“Hey,” she started. “You must be Zephyra.”
You blinked at her. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Zephyra.” She repeated. “You’re playing the alien queen of Atlantis, right?”
She furrowed her eyebrows at you slightly and tilted her head, worried she may have gotten you mixed up with someone else.
Her words clicked in your head, finally. “Oh! Yes! I’m playing the role of Zephyra.”
Ruby’s smile returned as she let out a lighthearted chuckle. You swallowed, trying to keep your cool. You still had trouble wrapping your mind around the fact that you were standing in front of the Ruby Cruz, and having a semi-successful conversation.
She stuck out her hand, offering a handshake. “Hi, I’m Ruby. I’m playing Calantha.”
You took her hand, electric shocks vibrating through your body at her touch. “Nice to meet you.”
After removing her hand (much to your displeasure), she turned to walk back over to her seat, but not before flashing you a smile over her shoulder. “Can’t wait to work with you!”
God, why did she have to be so cool?
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The table read went fairly well, in your opinion. The movie was about Calantha, an underwater adventurer, finding the lost city of Atlantis during an expedition. Once there, she finds the city being ruled by aliens who’s spaceship crashed near the area about 100 years ago. Calantha finds Zephyra, the alien queen, who makes her promise to keep their secret, and in return, Calantha will help her run the city.
You were playing Zephyra, of course, since being in “Attack of the Killer Zombie Prom Queens” proved you looked hot even in otherworldly makeup. You kind of thought there might be some romantic or even sexual tension between Calantha and Zephyra, but you brushed it off as you thought that might not be the artistic intention.
Once filming started, your days were basically exclusively spent on set. Not that you were complaining, you loved every second. Even after coming home at 1am when you left for work at 6am, a blissful smile would be painted across your tired face.
The only thing that bothered you was that you barely ever got to talk to Ruby on set. It was more your fault than hers. Every time you two were working together, your brain short circuited and you couldn’t get out anything more than a few dim-witted babbles. Ruby was always so sweet about it though, always lightheartedly chuckling at your barely-comprehensible speech, sometimes even giving your upper arm a squeeze if you felt especially nervous.
You knew she meant well, but any touch from your celebrity crush was sure to do the opposite of calming you down.
One day, during a filming session, you and Ruby were meant to be sitting especially close to each other. You were sure you felt some romantic tension between the two characters, but you chalked it up to your crush on the actress and tried to downplay it. The director, however, seemed very frustrated today, this was the nineteenth take of this particular scene and he still wasn’t happy.
“Cut!” He yelled, letting out a frustrated sigh as you and Ruby turned your attention towards him.
“Everything alright, sir?” Ruby asked, making you glad you weren’t the only one who noticed his irritation.
“This scene… it’s missing something.” He brought his hand to his chin and squinted at the both of you. “Do we think we could add a kiss? Right here?”
Your heart stopped, and all the moisture disappeared from your mouth.
It wasn’t like you hadn’t kissed people before. You had your fair share of dates back in high school, that wasn’t the problem.
You’ve kissed, but you’ve never stage kissed.
Sure you had plenty of acting experiences, but the roles you played never required kissing. Instead of playing Aurora, you made a fabulous Maleficent. While Elle Woods locked lips with Emmett, you were busy portraying a hilarious Paulette. And of course, nobody wants to make out with a zombie prom queen.
You had no idea if there was any difference between actual kisses and stage-kisses. Obviously, sex scenes in movies weren’t real. But kisses? What if there is a difference and you go to kiss Ruby on camera and make her uncomfortable? What if she pushes you away? What if she gets mad? You don’t know how you’d recover from something like that, and your mind swarmed with plans to flee the country if that did happen.
Ruby opened her mouth to answer the director, before looking at you for confirmation and noticing your overly-panicked state. She sent you a reassuring smile, and placed a gentle hand on your back.
She turned to the director. “Could we pick this up after lunch? I think my scene partner and I have some things to discuss.”
The director agreed, and since it was still about thirty minutes to lunch, decided to use that time to record some “room noise.” You and Ruby were meant to sit still and quietly, the only thing you heard being the echo of your heartbeat in your ears.
Suddenly, you received a text notification, causing sound to go off and the director to groan and shoot you an annoyed look. You mumbled a quick “sorry” before switching your phone to vibrate and looking to see who texted you.
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After wolfing down a sandwich from the craft services table, you stood in front of the trailer with Ruby’s name on the door, wringing your clammy hands while deciding whether or not to knock. You took a deep breath, raised your knuckles, and knocked three times, taking a step back after.
She answered almost immediately, staring down at you with a comforting grin. “Hey, come on in.”
Walking up the stairs and into Ruby’s trailer, you couldn’t help but notice how much cleaner it was than yours. You weren’t necessarily sloppy, but your vanity was covered in various bottles of blue face paint, while your floor held multiple alien-like prosthetics. Ruby’s was tidier, with a small couch pushed up against the wall, and her vanity holding nothing but some makeup basics and a half-full can of Dr. Pepper she had been drinking right before you walked in.
Ruby took a seat in her vanity chair and took a sip from her Dr. Pepper, motioning for you to sit on the small couch. “What’s going on? You didn’t seem too comfortable with the kissing scene.”
You gulped, staring down at your lap. “It’s not that…”
Ruby sat up, leaning forward to gawk at you. “Oh my god… have you never been kissed?”
“What? No! Of course I have…” you trailed off. “I just… I’ve never stage kissed before, and I know you have, so is it any different from regular kissing? I feel so stupid for asking and I’m so sorry but I didn’t wanna do it wrong while filming and I’m kinda embarrassed that I don’t know the answer so that’s why I wanted to ask you privately because I didn’t wanna fuck up…”
Ruby stared at you, silent and wide eyed. You felt your heartbeat in your ears as you tried to decipher what she was thinking. Suddenly, she threw her head back and let out a hearty laugh. Your heart sank. Here you were being awkward and vulnerable in front of your crush, and she was laughing at you.
Just before you decided to get up and walk out, Ruby calmed down, wiping away a tear and smiling apologetically. “I’m sorry, I promise I’m not making fun of you. I didn’t mean to laugh, really. You’re just so cute.”
You felt your cheeks burn at her words. She thinks you’re cute?
Ruby threw her soda away in a nearby trash can and moved to sit next to you on the small couch. She criss-crossed her legs, turning to face you while pondering how to answer your question.
“So… stage kisses are different from regular kisses, but they’re also not, you know? Like, we’re kissing but we’re not like… kissing.”
She peered over at you, studying your facial expressions. You looked more confused than ever, so she continued her explanation.
“So, if you’re asking if my lips will physically be on your lips… then the answer is yes, they will. But they’re not exactly like the real thing, because it’s more of a demonstration to the audience rather than an act of passion between two people.”
“A demonstration?” You cocked your head. Ruby nodded.
“Yeah, so say the camera was over there…” she pointed out in front of you. “…then you might cup my jaw, or cradle the back of my head. But if you were to grab my face or something like that, it’d look pretty awkward in a fifty-fifty profile shot.”
You nodded in understanding. “Ok… I think I get what you’re saying.”
“There are also different types of kissing.” Ruby continued. “Like, it should portray how your character feels about the other character. When Zephyra has scenes with Calantha, how does she feel?”
You gulped, focusing on your lap again. “Well, to be honest, it kinda feels like there’s a lot of romantic or sexual tension between our characters, but I’ve sort of been suppressing it because I’m not sure that was the intention.”
“But you feel like Zephyra is attracted to Calantha sexually?” Ruby asked. You nodded. “Great! You don’t necessarily have to make it explicit, but something like that can help you dive deeper into your character.”
Ruby scooted closer to you, taking your hands in hers. She gazed at you with half lidded eyes, causing your breathing to accelerate.
“I want you to kiss me.”
Ruby’s words barely resonated in your head, there was no way you heard her correctly. “You… huh?”
“For practice.” Ruby clarified, letting go of your hands. “Like you would during filming. Is that ok?”
An involuntary swallow forced itself down your throat as you nodded. You couldn’t believe you were about to kiss your celebrity crush, even if it was only for practice.
You pressed your hand into her warm cheek, pulling her close and quickly pecking her lips before retreating away. Your face burned from embarrassment while Ruby cocked her head, clearly confused.
“That’s it?” She asked. “My bad, I didn’t realize Calantha was your grandmother.”
Ruby moved closer and cradled the back of your head, entangling her fingers into your soft locks. You felt your hands sweat as her big blue eyes gazed into yours. “I was thinking maybe something more like this…”
She crashed her lips into yours, causing warmth to explode in your chest. Her fingers played with your hair as you began to kiss back, and your arms wrapped around her waist. Holy shit could she kiss! You could barely fathom how soft her lips were, tasting faintly of Dr. Pepper and vanilla lip balm. As hard as you tried to act professional and pretend there was a camera in front of you, every inch of your body screamed at you to succumb to your most primal instincts.
You lifted one hand from her waist and moved to rest it on her mid-thigh, causing a gentle moan to escape from her lips and a shiver to run down her body. Startled, you moved back, throughly convinced that you majorly fucked up.
“Shit, I’m sorry!” You exclaimed, pulling back your hand like it had touched fire. “I wasn’t thinking, fuck. I got too swept up in the moment. I shouldn’t have touched you, that was completely unprofessional.”
“Hm…?” Ruby blinked, still in a daze. “Oh. Oh! You’re good! Don’t be sorry. I liked it. Really.”
Ruby grinned at you shyly. You stared back at her, a question you weren’t quite sure how to ask lingering at the tip of your tongue. “Ruby, are we still… practicing?”
Her smile faded as her eyes went wide, her gaze dropping to her lap. It was her turn to be coy, a sight you’d never seen before.
She dropped her voice to a low whisper as she choked out her question. “Do you want to be?”
Before you could even open your mouth to answer, your phone alarm screeched from your jacket pocket. You took it out, groaning as you turned it off.
Ruby furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “What was that?”
“My alarm,” you answered. “I have to go.”
“But lunch isn’t over for another twenty minutes.” Ruby pointed out, trying to hide her disappointment.
“Yeah, but I have to head back early so they can touch up my makeup and fix my prosthetics.”
Ruby sighed in understanding. She supposed your costume might have a bit more upkeep than hers. Your prosthetics did look a little wonky after the lunch break, never mind your smudged blue lipstain that made her apprehensive to look in a mirror.
You collected yourself and turned to walk out, but looked over your shoulder before opening the door. “Uhm… Ruby?”
“Hm?” She answered.
You wrung your hands anxiously. “Do you think we could maybe… do this again? Sometime?”
Ruby’s head shot up to look at you, and a playful smile spread across her face. “Do what? More kissing lessons?”
You rolled your eyes as she chuckled, then gave you a lopsided grin. “I’d like that. Lunch again, tomorrow?”
A blush pink color sprinkled across the apples of your cheeks as you smiled back at her, trying your best to stay cool and suppress the giddy feeling that was bubbling inside of you.
“See you then.”
242 notes · View notes
kookslastbutton · 11 months
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Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m) II ch. II
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✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.
Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader
AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 5,044
Warnings: 8-year age gap, flashbacks of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), fighting, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues, mentions of therapy, kookie trying to be a good husband, cute coupley stuff that idk anyone will like but 🥺 👉👈, jk says cawk , idk why this is a warning
Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+
A/N: Hi guys! I'm back! I thought I'd start off with a little flashback and then diving back into the story. Also, big thing–I decided not to make jk a complete butt. I don't want this story to be about "jk finally coming around after treating oc like garbage for wanting a kid". It's more of a we'll figure-it-out-together kinda thing though there will be bumps in the road. Anyway, enjoy 🥰
<< ch.I ༓ ch. III >> | series masterlist
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To say falling in love with Jungkook was an effortless, butterflies-in-your-tummy, love-at-first-sight, you-know-it-when-you-see-it sort of affair is far from the truth. In actuality, you and Jungkook met on a very normal basis and had very normal rapport…well, somewhat normal.
Jungkook was your economics professor in grad school and you were merely one out of eighty of his students during the first semester. Surely you'd be walking out with no more than a barely scrimmaged 'A' and remnants of stupid economics jokes he and his colleagues found slapstick funny.
Jungkook always had an interesting sense of humor.
Bottom line? Your life wasn't a drama and you certainly didn't plan on living like it was–especially when your parents were on your tail, making sure their hard-earned money was well spent.
As if being bonked on the head by something called fate, however, Jungkook sent you away with far more than odd jokes and good grades.
Hey, hindsight is 20/20.
four years ago
“Oh, good morning.” A soft, yet hoarse voice strides past you. You view the man, estimating that he be in his early 30s though could easily pass for 25 by his youthful appearance. His hair is black, a bit shaggy but well-kept nonetheless. Silver piercings dangle from his ears and a pair of rectangular glasses rest on his perfectly symmetrical face. This is your professor?
Undoubtedly, what mesmerizes you the most is the striking arm tattoo partially displayed under the rolled-up sleeves of his dress shirt. You remember temporarily considering tattoo artistry in high school but studio arts appealed to you more.
Not like you got to do either though, seeing as you’ve been stuck in econ for the fifth year in a row. You’re parents insisted you get your master’s immediately after undergrad…how wonderful for you.
But back to the man at the front of the room. You weren’t expecting someone so hip and attractive–very, very attractive.
Your stomach churns but you brush the feeling away.
He's your professor for god sake.
The man, coincidentally your professor, quirks a small smile your way and sets his bag on the podium at the front. “Didn’t expect anyone to be here for another twenty minutes.”
“I just got out of another class a couple of rooms down so I’m here early.” You straighten in your seat and return a smile of your own. “It’s nice to meet you Dr. Jeon. I’m Y/N.” You start bouncing your leg up and down, clicking the pen in your hand. Please be right, please be right, you chant silently, hoping you remembered the name correctly.
Jungkook notices your slightly restless state but he doesn’t say anything about it.
“Just to be sure, you are here for ECON 602 right? Macroeconomic Theory?” He unzips his bag and sets his laptop on the podium. Making brief eye contact, he catches sight of the piece of paper directly below your nose. “That’s a beautiful sketch.”
You glance down, moving the paper to the side as if embarrassed. Not many people see your work beyond close friends, and even then you like to keep it to yourself. “Yes, absolutely,” you reply. “ECON 602, 12:15 pm. And thanks, I draw as a hobby.”
Your professor hums, nodding as he connects the HDMI cable to his laptop and lowers the presentation board.“ Dr. Kim is going to be quite jealous when he hears such artistic talent is in my economics class.” He lets out a slight chuckle. “You don’t mind if I tell him, do you? A little competition we have going on.”
You snort at the comment.
Dr. Kim Taehyung was the art department’s most talked about professor. Everyone knew him for his extremely unique perspective, classy personality, as well as his breathtaking artwork. You’ve passed him in the hallways a number of times, wishing you could study under him and dare you say, in more ways than one.
“I don’t mind.” You shake your head. “Are you and Dr. Kim close?” Maybe you shouldn’t be this curious but it was now fifteen minutes until the start of class and no one else had shown. What else were you going to fill time with? Awkward silence while you watch your professor fumble and tap on his keyboard?
“We were colleagues if you can believe that.” He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Only two years ahead of me in undergrad. When I first started teaching here I had no idea he was here too. But you know what they say __, it’s a small world.”
“Smaller,” you retort. “I feel like everywhere I go I run into someone I’ve known or seen at some point in my life. You just never really know I guess.” When you first entered university, you were counting your lucky stars that most of your high school peers were attending college nearby your hometown. You on the other hand were a good five to six hours from home. Last you checked, however, half of those peers were now getting married or on their second kid. Crazy how some people’s lives change on a dime.
You watch as your professor shuffles a few sheets of paper in his hands, scanning them briefly. “I can relate to that,” he mutters. “Pretty sure we haven’t met before though. Could be a bigger world than we think. Now where’s everyone else? Didn’t all drop last minute did they?” The man lifts his head, flashing a big gorgeous grin. His eyes are playful and dance with mirth.“Not that I would mind if it were just you and I this whole semester.“
“uh–“ is embarrassingly, all you say. He isn’t implying anything by that right? Oh god __, don’t be stupid. As you've established, this isn’t a romance novel and you’re most definitely not the main character.
“You seem attentive is what I mean,” the man says, breaking you out of your daze. “And beyond punctual. Two qualities that I hold in high esteem.” You’d say he had a tiny smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth but it was likely an illusion. Your professor has bigger fish to fry than worry about any possible scenarios you’ve concocted in your silly head.
Still, in a moment of sheer thoughtlessness, you say something you regret being unable to retract. “Thank you, I like you too.” As soon as the words fly out you feel the need to run out and bang your head against the wall. Thinking on your feet wasn’t your specialty.
Little to your knowledge, Jungkook finds your mannerisms cute and stifles the temptation to tease. You’re his student, after all, a little professionally please, he repeats to himself.
“So are you from here?” Jungkook asks, choosing to switch the topic before both of you get swallowed into a messy situation.
You shake your head in denial. “I live here temporarily but I grew up about five hours north of here. My parents are still there.”
“Ah, well that’s a bit away. I imagine you miss them?”
You ponder the question for a second, eyes rolling up in contemplation. “From time to time.” Jungkook gives a knowing look. He’s had his share of familial drama and the need for space.
“I understand,” he says. “I grew up ten hours south myself.”
“Wow, that’s…far.” You’re surprised by the distance and can’t imagine it’s an easy commute. You wonder how long he’s been here and more so, if he’s here alone.
“Yeah.” He rests his palms on the edge of the podium, leaning on them gently. The protruding veins in his forearms catch your attention but you pry yourself from lingering. After what you said earlier, the last thing you want is for Dr. Jeon to think you're coming on to him. “Gets a little quiet sometimes but I’ve learned to live with it.”
As if immune to learning from your mistakes you blurt exactly what’s in your head.“So you’re not–“
“Married? Dating? Seeing someone?” Jungkook finishes your sentence like it’s nothing he hasn’t done tenfold times before. “No. I’m not.”
You give a small “Ah,” nodding in understanding before another classmate walks in, putting an abrupt end to the conversation. Jungkook is quick to greet the young man who’s joined but he’s certain he won’t be forgetting your name anytime soon.
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present
You tilt your head back, allowing beads of hot water to run down your bare skin. The sound of steady pattering combined with heavy steam relaxes your muscles.
You can't believe you actually told him.
Blurting out to Jungkook that you wanted a baby in the middle of a fight is not how you intended to open up to your husband. But everything escalated so fast that it just came out.
You think back to last night’s events.
Once the movie's credit scenes appear Jungkook feels your eyes burn through him from your lounged position. "You're making that face again," he says.
"There's no face."
"Look," Jungkook cuts shortly. "Will you just tell me so we can deal with it?!"
"Just deal with it? Like it's some kind of nuisance of an issue that needs treatment?" You jump up from the couch and head to your bedroom in a fury, your husband hot on your trail.
"I don't mean to be pissing you off, sweetheart but I know something's up." He follows you into the bathroom, watching you reach for your toothbrush. "Can you please slow down and talk to me?" He grabs the toothpaste before you can, forcing you to stop in your tracks.
"I–I want…I want to be a mom. I want a baby."
"A baby? What do you mean you want a baby?" You see the panic settling in his eyes. Jungkook takes you into his arms, his thumb wipes off some of your tears. "Honey, I'm sorry I didn't know. When you came home from the park I didn't realize that little boy meant so much to you."
You try blinking back your tears but they keep running down your face. He's being gentle with you and you appreciate that but his choice of words tells you his answer is no. It's quiet, subtle, and cuts like a knife.
You break away from him to splash cold water on your face. The coolness calms your nerves. “He didn’t. Never–never mind what I said, sorry. I’m tired and I’m probably not thinking straight.”
It was a blatant lie but just look at your situation. Married for two years, still on birth control, and had no plans to change that. Suddenly one party diverts from the plan fully aware that the other is perfectly comfortable with the current plan.
Yes, you hoped he'd have a slightly better reaction but you don't blame him for his stunned look.
Plus, did you even have enough time to realize what you were saying? Feeling? It could easily be written off that you were simply impulsive, emotionally vulnerable, and so on with the track record you had regarding kids and parenting.
You sigh, bitter aftertaste in your mouth.
Not much else happened after the fight. Jungkook apologized again with his arms wrapped around your waist. He snuggled his nose in the crook of your neck and kissed your cheek too.
It was the usual, it felt familiar and warm but the pang in your head put a roadblock to that. No marriage is perfect. You know that. But you have a feeling you and Jungkook are headed for a steep valley, both on opposing sides.
"Hi.” You’re taken out of your thoughts when you hear the shower door pop open. Your husband steps in, with messy hair and half-open lids. Evidently, still sleepy.
You spare him a glance and quickly reach for your body wash on the shelf. “Hi,” you reply back, voice monotone.
Jungkook moves closer behind you and curves an arm around you. He grabs the bottle out of your hand and squirts some of the soap into his palm. “How did you sleep?”
A small shiver runs up your spine when his cool hand rubs circles against your upper back and shoulder. It still feels nice, you admit. You see some of the soap drip down and hit the shower floor.
“I slept okay. You?”
“I’m about the same.” Jungkook moves his hand a little lower, making sure to cover your whole backside. “I’m really sorry about how I handled things last night. What I said and how I said it was inexcusable.”
“Please, Jungkook you don’t have to keep apologizing about it. I know…and I’m sorry I spurred it on you so suddenly. It’s not how I wanted you to find out.” if at all, you add to yourself.
“Is it still true?” he asks, stopping his movements. “Do you really want to start a family?”
You feel queasy all over again. His tone is serious and if you turn around you’ll likely see the fire in his eyes. So you remain in your position, facing towards the shower head.
“I don’t know…” you finally say after thirty seconds of eerie silence. “But I think I do, I really do. Seeing our friends and other people our age have kids makes me wonder if we’d ever have that. I can’t explain why right now. I know it’s unexpected after we’ve been living a sort of way for so long.” After another pause you continue. “But I know it’s not a mutual thing and that’s…okay.”
“Sweetheart, even if we were to have kids…where would we find the time? The school year’s starting soon and I’m gonna be running ragged at the university next week. You know my schedule. I teach Monday through Friday, leaving at 7:15 am and returning around 4 p.m. You leave for work a little later in the morning but get back at 5 p.m. All our week consists of will be eating a quick dinner together, then I have to squirrel away to my office for the night to review class notes and grade stacks of assignments.”
Though you’re aware of how crazy busy Jungkook gets during the school year, you’re not foolish enough to believe that is the root of his argument.
“Maybe you’re right that we don’t have much time now but Jungkook, we can figure it out. You only teach 9 months out of the year and I can–I can stay at home or we can hire a nanny. And we don’t have to do it right away but–“
“__.” Jungkook turns you around so you’re looking eye to eye. He hesitates to say his next words, fearing a replay of yesterday. But he can’t bring himself to pretend with you. Not on something this serious. “I understand and I want more than anything to tell you I want the same, but I can't lie to you. Being a father, and having a kid, I think it’s wonderful but I just never saw that for myself. I’m so sorry I–”
Your heart concaves into your chest. You absolutely want him to be honest but it pains you to hear. Where do you go from here?
Slowly, you wrap your arms around his neck. Jungkook jolts a bit, surprised by your sudden gesture but welcomes the embrace.
“It’s okay Jungkook.” You settle your head into his shoulder, simply wanting to be close. One tear spills out, then another. “It’s okay.”
“No, look at me __. You didn’t let me finish.” You lift your head from his shoulder. Jungkook strokes your back soothingly before continuing. “If this is what you want, then I’m not going to stand here and be the asshole husband that just dismisses it. But this is a big step.”
You shake your head in disbelief. “Don’t say what I think you are. Jungkook you don’t have to do anything.”
“I’m not saying I change my mind.” Of course, that would be unrealistic, you talk yourself through, preparing for his next words. “However, I am–I am willing to seriously consider this whole thing, babies, diapers, strollers, all of it. But I need you to be sure that this is what you want. And the only way I think that can happen is if we start this slow. Sounds like I’m making some sappy speech huh?”
Jungkook cracks a faint smile.
You look like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop or for him to yell psyche and flick your forehead or something.
But none of that happens.
Instead, Jungkook unwraps one of your arms from around your neck, places a light kiss on your knuckles, and stares deep into your eyes as if making a promise. “I know this isn’t exactly heaven to your ears but I’m just trying to say, let’s not rush to a decision yet, okay? All of this did just get revealed yesterday and I think it’d be unfair to both of us if we scurry past it without thinking.”
Shocked. You’re utterly shocked. You were expecting him to give you a flat-out no or attempt to cover up the issue somehow. While, this isn’t your ideal outcome, if Jungkook is willing to take this seriously, no bullshit necessary, then so are you.
“Thank you, Jungkook.” You smile at him, feeling a tad lighter than you did before. Your heart beats again, slow and steady. “I love you.”
“I love you more than anything __. I married you and I intend to keep it that way.” Jungkook sneaks a wink and you press a kiss to his lips.
“Hey,” you pipe up. “It’s Sunday isn’t it?”
Jungkook nods in confusion. “It is..?”
“You have somewhere to be this morning don’t you?” You wait a moment before an oh-shit expression forms on Jungkook’s face.
As you remember your husband was supposed to be at some fancy gold club today. Like Jimin, a certain Kim Taehyung had his weekly “thing” too. Being close friends, Jungkook was supposed to be there, along with Hoseok.
“‘You're so right. 'M sorry honey I gotta go. They’re gonna kill me." Jungkook gives you one last kiss before slipping out of the shower. "I’ll be back for dinner.”
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“Jungkook! Where the fuck have you been? We tried calling you!” Taehyung is the first to speak as soon as he catches sight of the younger man. He has his usual blush pink polo shirt on paired with well-pressed beige shorts.
He looks a little too handsome for golf.
Jungkook’s secretly glad his wife stayed home this time, as he’s fully aware of her mini crush on Taehyung in school. When she first found out they were colleagues he could tell she had borderline stars in her eyes.
“Sorry sorry,” Jungkook says. “I was doing stuff and time escaped me. Plus, I didn’t have my phone near me for a bit. But I’m here now, so let’s get going!” Jungkook walks in front of the two men, heading for the first stage of the golf course. “You guys coming?” He turns around and lifts both arms up.
Taehyung and Hoseok exchange looks before following his lead. It’s unlike Jungkook to be this eager for golf. In fact, he hates golf. And his explanation is a bit…questionable.
As much as Hoseok is a friend, he is also just as much of a psychologist who can't stop himself from practicing his craft when given the chance. “You doing alright?” Hoseok waits for Jungkook to answer, one hand clings around the top of his golf club while the other settles around his hip. "Haven't seen you since Jimin's last dinner.”
"Yeah, I'm good," Jungkook barely replies, watching Taehyung practice and few swings before taking the shot. Like a prodigy, it sinks right in. "Hole in one again man? I thought you painted."
Taehyung glances over his shoulder with a smug expression, cocky smirk, and sunglasses behind his head. "Don't be too jealous of hyung, Jungkookie."
"Fuck off Tae," Jungkook quips back. "I'm not 22 anymore. I have a good job, nice house, and a gorgeous wife waiting for me at home. What do you have? A bunch of golf balls in your pants.”
Hmm, a little more defensive than usual, Hoseok notes. And guarded too, something’s up.
"About that wife of yours Kook," Hoseok drawls. "How she doing?" Jungkook turns towards the man, slight distaste on his face.
“Uh, she’s fine. Thanks for asking. Also, I know what you’re doing and I’m not in the mood.”
"Ah Jungkook, you act like I'm being so malicious.” Smiling, Hoseok continues. “Can't I care about my friend of ten years without such accusations?"
Jungkook sighs and kicks the grass. Hoseok has been one of his closest friends for a long time so if there's anyone worth talking to about his current situation and who'd understand, I'd be him. "Well, I’m not saying much right now but.....__ recently told me she wants a baby. I’m still–I'm having trouble processing it. But I’m trying.”
Hoseok throws a hand behind the younger's shoulder. “That’s big news Jungkook and it’s completely fine that you’re still working through it. Don’t feel like you have to speed up the process either. I’ve known you both long enough to know that parenting hasn’t really been in the cards until now so I’m surprised myself.”
“I think she’s still a little unsure, but something happened the other day and it struck a cord inside her. She wants a family and,” Jungkook steps to the side, and Hoseok's hand slips from his shoulder. “I wish I could tell her I want it too. But I can't lie to her like that. I also don’t want her to bury that desire for my sake, so I told her we could consider it. I don’t know man, I feel like I’m trying to do the right thing but I don’t know if I can do this. Will I ever change my mind? I want to, for her.”
Hoseok looks at his friend with soft eyes, compassion in them. “Unfortunately, this is not something you can foresee nor force. At least not this early. But you’re definitely doing the right thing by not brushing her off. As real as your feelings are about not wanting a child right now, so are __'s feelings. It’s best you listen to both sides.”
Jungkook tousles his hair around. “I just–fuck.”
Hoseok doesn’t need further explanation to understand Jungkook’s predicament. He’s frustrated, blames himself, and is struggling to come to terms with reality. The unknown scares him and he doesn’t want to lose control of what little he has. “I’m sorry, Kook…it’s a heavy load. Why don't you come in for a session sometime? I think this might be something worth talking through."
“You mean therapy? I don't know, I’m about to have a pretty tight with school starting.”
"One hour, forty minutes at least," Hoseok insists. "Why not try it once and if you don't like it, you don't have to do it again. I love you both and as a friend, I want to be here for you. Beats standing around and watching Taehyung kick our ass at golf. Just think about it and let me know. As I said, I'm always here for you bro."
Jungkook nods and reaches a hand out to gently squeeze Hoseok's shoulder. "I'll think about it. Thanks."
"Hey!" Taehyung waves from afar. "What you guys doing still up there? I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes! Don’t forget that last place buys lunch.”
“He’s referring to you Kook.” Hoseok chuckles, slaps Jungkook on the back, and walks down the golf course toward Taehyung. “You suck at golf.”
Jungkook grunts, following close behind. If this were a benching competition he’d be taking home the whole damn meal.
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With Jungkook still gone doing who knows what with his buddies you decide to blast your very wide array of music. It’s a good thing you and Jungkook live in your own house or else your poor neighbors would be knocking down the door with the landlord by now. Yes, that may or may not have happened once with you were in college.
Along with the music you stick true to your character and spread your art supplies on your drawing table. You had your own mini studio, thanks to your wonderful relator who helped find you the house. You reach for a pencil, spinning it between your fingers. Maybe you should finish the drawing of the park’s pond.
Mm, you don’t really feel like packing all your supplies and driving over right now.
Deciding to save it for another day, you ponder ideas of what to do instead. Should you try out your new watercolors? You bought them last week and while you weren’t exactly in low supply, if your husband can have a hundred scented candles you can have your paints.
bling–
You snatch your phone hearing the notification bell.
Jungkook: the rest of your morning going well? [sent at 11:03 a.m]
You smile faintly and type out a reply. Sweet to check in you suppose.
__: Fine. How are the guys? [sent at 11:04 a.m]
Jungkook: Whooping my ass but it’s alright. [sent at 11:07 a.m]
Good, you smirk. Jungkook is awful at golf. And he can stand to lose at something like the rest of you.
__: When are you coming home? [sent at 11:10 a.m]
Jungkook: Looking to wrap things up around 4 pm. I think we’re having a late lunch. Miss you. [sent at 11:13 a.m]
__: Okay, sounds good because I was thinking maybe we could go for ice cream when you get back. After dinner? miss you too [sent at 11:14 a.m]
You stare at the screen, waiting for a reply.
One minute goes by…
Two minutes…
Three…
Jungkook: Okay, sounds amazing. But why not before dinner? The place we like closes early on Sundays. I love you! [sent at 11:17 a.m]
Oh shoot, that’s right. You and Junkook have gone to the same ice cream shake since you first started dating. The couple who run it are super sweet, only a decade older. How could you forget?
__: I’m a dummy, yes we’ll go before dinner. I love you too [sent at 11:18 a.m]
Jungkook: Noo, you’re not a dummy! But okay, I’ll see you soon! [sent at 11:19 a.m]
Rejuvenated, you turn off your phone, jump off your art stool and crank the current song up–Runaway by Bon Jovi. Let’s see, you think, tearing a piece of watercolor paper from your drawing pad, what to do.
When the idea strikes you prepare water, paintbrushes, your palette, and anything else you may need for the next five hours give or take. You snatch your phone again and scroll through your photo gallery, hoping to get a good reference photo.
Your best friend’s birthday was two weeks away and she’s been subtly hinting for a painting of her, her fiancee’, and her dog Bear. As her closest friend and well-practiced artist, you think it is best to appease her request.
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Jungkook comes home at 4 pm on the dot. Not a minute later. He looks happy, you conclude. Genuinely happy. It looks good on him.
“__!” Jungkook runs through the front door and lifts you up in his arms. He spins you around and you place your hands on his shoulders. This is so unexpected but nice.
“Jungkook,” you struggle to catch your breath. “What’s going on?”
“I just love coming home to you.” He places you back down and grabs your wrist. “Come on, I wanna stuff you full with ice cream.”
“That sounds so weird,” you laugh.
“Why?” Jungkook opens the front door, ushering you to go ahead of him.
“Because…it sounds like you want to stuff me. Like in a weird way.”
“Woman, that cleared nothing up for me.” You hop into the car with stupid grins on your face. You don’t even know what you mean let alone having to explain to your husband. What can you say, Jungkook makes you a little braindead.
“I just mean that you wanting to stuff me with ice cream sounds like the witch from Hanzel and Gretel. You wanna fatten me up to eat me. Or taxidermy,….or Build a Bear.”
“What the fuck honey,” Jungkook curses, backing out of your drive. “Did you get into something funky while I was gone?”
“No what–ugh never mind.” You stare out the window, arms crossed and biting back the need to giggle uncontrollably. Why were you so giddy right now?
Jungkook glances over with amusement. He knows you’re inches away from balling over with laughter. “You know what honey?”
“Hmm?”
“I think instead of stuffing you full of ice cream, I’m gonna stuff you full with something just as good.”
“Don’t say it Kook, don’t. I’m going to bust a gut.” You beg fully aware he’s not about to back down.
“My fucking cawk,” he says, making sure to exaggerate the last part.
You throw a hand over your mouth, tears well up in your eyes and this time, they’re not sad ones.
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You pull up at the small, but charming ice cream stand at around 4:20 pm. It’s a decent crowd tonight.
You and Jungkook get out of the car with laced hands. You’ve managed to calm down now, thankfully. As you make your way to the line a small voice catches both your attention.
“Appa!” A little girl with blue ribbons in her hair runs past you. She looks between eight to ten years old. You and Jungkook follow her movement as she leaps up into her father’s arms.
You smile at the interaction. Her father kisses her cheek and chuckles as she shows him her ribbons. She looks like she’s telling a very eventful story.
Beside you, Jungkook stiffens. His eyes set on the pair but you’re unsure what he’s thinking. “Kook?” you say, but he doesn’t respond. You shake his hand, the one laced in yours, but still no response. It’s when you step in front of his view that you get him back.
“Hey,” you say. “Are you okay?”
Jungkook blinks at you and shakes his head a bit. “I’m good, sorry. Not sure what happened there. Must be a bit out of it today. Let’s go get some ice cream.”
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A/N: I like this series vv much...thank you to anyone reading :) Lmk your thoughts and if you wanna be tagged comment or send me an ask!
Taglist:
@frieschan @oldermenluverrr @tatamicc @kookswifesblog @llallaaa @sunnybyeol @namtaeh @exactlygreatcoffee @whipwhoops @yoongisducky @ktnj91 @junecat18 @thvlover7 @yoongiworshiper
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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 6 months
Text
With Discretion - Holiday Special**
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Here it is! I hope you guys like it. I really like how I ended this series and I hope you guys do too. Thanks for reading!
Read the rest of the “With Discretion” series
WARNINGS: miscommunication/avoidance of issues, fear of commitment and doubt in relationships/partners, 69, face fucking and sitting, fingering, forced and multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, size kink, marking.
WC: 15.2k
Harry had been on a high for the near year you two had been together. Business was excellent, his firm was doing great and he had been able to unfold that deal with the schools in the area and the pilot of the internship program was doing really well. Of course, things with you had been a fucking dream. You were both thriving in your individual endeavors and of course, as a couple. The more time you spent together the more he thought about marriage. He’d always wanted to get married but of course, he was cautious with his love life and its future, but now the future he wanted felt far more tangible. You were everything he had wanted in a life partner. He was anxious to bring it up to you because inevitably, the question would be asked by both of your families about where you two saw this relationship going. Especially as the holidays approached.
He was thinking on this even more since your parents were coming to visit from California and it would be the first time he officially met them in the flesh. It goes without saying that Harry was absolutely nervous about it but he was looking forward to meeting them and spending time with them. He knew that they weren’t all that supportive of your marriage to Caleb, so he wanted to make the best impression possible so that they didn’t have a shred of doubt about what a future with him could mean for you. He had been there for a few conversations with your mom about how disappointed she was at the outcome of your marriage, she wasn’t condescending about it, but like any parent who felt they knew best from the start, she couldn’t help but hit you with that dreaded “I told you so” a couple times. The next time she said something like that to you, he wanted it to be under good circumstances, like your wedding day perhaps when he inevitably cried at the altar because of how breathtaking you’d look. His little daydream was interrupted by his office phone ringing.
“Mr. Styles, reception called, Y/n just arrived.” His new assistant, Corey, informed him over the line.
“Great! Thanks mate. Can you inform reception that I’ll be just a few minutes?” He assured and Corey confirmed before hanging up. He shot you a quick text to let you know that he’d be out soon. You were going to a late lunch and then doing some Christmas shopping, so his Friday would be ending early and he couldn’t be more thrilled to kick off his weekend plans with you.
*********
You were sitting in the reception area just looking through your phone while you waited for Harry to come down. You were quite enraptured with an email on your phone that you didn’t notice that Caleb was approaching you until he called your name.
“Y/N!” He greeted cheerfully and you glanced up from your phone to see him smiling down at you.
“Oh my god! Hi Cal, how are you?” You asked as you shot up from your seat and hugged him tight as he hugged you back.
“I’ve been doing well.” He smiled.
“I can see that! You look great.” You complimented him. He looked a lot more fit and well kept than the last time you had seen him, he had been struggling quite a bit then.
“Thanks, you too.” He smiled, “So things are still going well with Harry.” He said and you nodded.
“Yeah, actually.”
“What’re you going on a year now?” He asked.
“Yeah, in the new year. It’s crazy how time flies.” You said with a smile and he nodded. “What about you? Did ummm, did anything ever pan out with you and Dani?” You asked and Cal sighed.
“Well, kind of. I ummm, I had a trip to London for the firm several months ago. Obviously, I saw her there…we spent the night together. I think she was just feeling a bit homesick and was seeking some familiarity, you know?” He said and you nodded in understanding, “But ummm, obviously she lives there now and we talked a few times after that but it was mostly just good for closure. I ummm, I did start dating again though. I feel good about it, I’ve had a few successful connections, so ummm, yeah it’s been going well.” He shared.
“That’s great, Cal. I’m really happy for you. I’m glad you were able to move on. I know it can be hard.”
“Was it hard for you?” He asked and you nodded. “You sure?” He grinned and you chuckled.
“Yeah! But see I started moving on when I realized that you were seeing someone else. So by the time we were over-over it was a bit easier for me to get with someone new.” You explained.
“Ah…the slow fade.” He hummed.
“Exactly.” You chuckled. 
“So what brings you in?”
“Just having a late lunch with Harry and then we’re doing some Christmas shopping. My parents are coming into town for the holidays so just trying to find something nice for them.”
“Great, that’s really great.” He hummed and you nodded. “And business is going well?”
“Oh yeah, everything’s excellent with that. I had to hire a helper actually, just to give you an idea of how things are going.”
“Wow, congrats!”
“Thank you so much. It’s been tricky at times to meet the demand but I’m getting there.” You smiled.
Just then the elevator dinged and you both glanced over to see Harry stepping out with a cheerful smile upon seeing you standing there. Harry and Cal were on good terms, it did take a few weeks for Cal to get used to Harry dating his ex-wife, but when the weirdness faded they were back to their cool and professional relationship without a hitch. Harry had always been a bit of the jealous type, but he knew that Cal wasn’t a threat to him, so his presence did not deter his excitement to see you in any way.
“Hey, baby!” He greeted you happily and Cal moved aside as Harry hugged you and kissed your cheek quickly.
“Hi.” You responded with a big smile.
“Just catching up?” He asked looking between you and Cal and you both nodded.
“Yep, she’s telling me how she’s basically becoming this event planning tycoon.” Cal said and Harry nodded.
“Yeah, the business is growing fast.”
“Maybe we can even hire her for some of the office events or shindigs for clients.” He suggested and Harry’s eyebrows arched up.
“That’s actually quite a brilliant idea, Cal. We just might have to…” Harry hummed with a smile at you and you shook your head.
“You guys are crazy.” You chuckled and they smiled at each other.
“Well, I uh, I need to be getting back up there.” Cal said, “But it was nice running into you. I’m happy things are going well, Y/N.” Cal said and you nodded.
“Yeah, it was great to see you. And I’m also glad to hear you’re doing well, Cal. See you around.” You smiled.
“Later, Cal.” Harry said with a smile and Caleb waved once more before he hurried into the elevator before the doors closed. “Was that alright? Seeing him?” Harry asked as soon as he was gone and you nodded.
“Yeah, we were just catching up. Are you good? That wasn’t weird for you?”
“Not at all. We’re on good terms here as well.” Harry assured and you smiled.
“Good. Now, where are we eating?”
“I managed to get a last minute reservation at Carbone, know you’ve been dying to get more of that mushroom fettuccine.” He said with a smile.
“Ooh, yes! Yummm!” You said with excitement and headed off. 
Your lunch had been delicious, as you expected, and your shopping was also going really well. It had been very productive thus far since you had managed to secure the gift you wanted for your mom with ease. You’d also found something for Cece and Harry had managed to find something for Corey, his assistant. Corey had been recommended by Tamika when she put in her 2 weeks. She had been accepted to USC and from what you and Harry had heard last, she was kicking ass over there. But Corey had some big shoes to fill and he was doing an exceptional job, so Harry wanted to get him something to say thank you, even if it was as simple as a keyboard for his iPad. He could use it for school, it would come in handy for his note taking in his classes. Now you just needed to get your dad his gift. He had been wanting some cufflinks that matched with this tie clip that he had been gifted for his birthday a few years prior and after your mom had sent a picture, you were eager to find something that paired well with the help of some experts.
“Let’s go in here, this is the jeweler my client recommended.” You said to Harry who nodded and opened up the door for you to get inside and out of the cold New York air. You were greeted warmly and asked if you needed help with anything the second you got inside the store. “I actually do need help, need to see about some cufflinks.” You said to the man and he nodded and guided you both over to one of the cases across the store.
“Felicity will be able to help you with that. She’ll be with you in a moment.” The man assured and then excused himself.
“You alright here, baby?” He asked you and you nodded, “OK, gonna wander around, see if I can get my mum anything while we’re here.” Harry said.
“OK.” You smiled and let him go off. Moments later you were joined by the saleswoman and consultant, Felicity. You were able to show her the picture your mom had sent and she lit up assuring you that she had several options to show you for your dad. 
“Some of the pieces are actually part of the new inventory which we haven’t quite finished unpacking for display.” She explained, “I’m gonna go locate them back there OK? In the meantime feel free to just look around, I’ll come find you when I have the selection ready for you to look over.”
“Thank you so much, Felicity.” You smiled at the older woman and she gave you a friendly smile before disappearing to the back of the store. You turned around and darted your eyes around until you found Harry at a display case at the end of the store furthest from you. You made your way over quietly, but he seemed to notice your presence nearing him as he turned when you were just a few feet from him. “What you looking at there?” You asked as you came up to the case.
“Rings.” He said softly and you peered down at the glimmering accessories displayed beautifully beneath the spotless glass panel. You couldn’t help but notice that these were specifically engagement rings as the regular accessory rings were in the next case over from what you could see as you glanced to your right briefly. “That one’s nice, no?” He asked you as he nodded towards the case.
“Which one?”
“Second row, fifth one in.” He said and you searched and nodded.
“It looks vintage-y, that’s what I like about it. Don’t love that cut though.” You said.
“The princess cut?” He asked and you nodded.
“S’too boxy, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” He hummed.
“The one two rows beneath it is gorgeous.” You mused and he smiled.
“The oval one in gold?” He asked and you nodded and hummed in confirmation, “Yeah, quite like that one actually. It’s very nice.” He mused as he looked it over.
“Would you like to inspect any of the rings more closely or try anything on?” Suddenly one of the salespersons appeared seemingly out of thin air.
“Oh n-”
“Yes, please.” Harry’s voice slightly overpowered yours before he turned and smiled at you briefly before turning back to the clerk and pointing at the one you had said you liked. The man was careful as he removed it from the back velvet setting it was in and reached for the magnifying glass that was peeking out of the front pocket of his suit jacket.
“This is a fine choice. The main stone is 3 carats, ethically sourced, and it has wonderful clarity.” He said as he positioned the magnifying glass over the ring’s main stone, “Have a look.” He insisted and you both peered over. It looked like you were staring into a hall of a million mirrors, it was absolutely beautiful. “You don’t see too many engagement rings set in gold now a days, but it is making a come back. It gives them a generational kind of feel, I think. Like a priceless family heirloom.” He smiled at the two of you.
“Yeah.” You hummed in agreement with a smile before glancing up to the man.
“Would you like to try it on?” He asked and you glanced to Harry who smiled at you and shrugged, indicating that it was up to you. It was just so pretty that you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try it on. Cal insisted that you keep your rings from your engagement and marriage, but you didn’t wear them anymore, they were in a safe in your apartment. But you had been wearing two rings for seven years and you did feel naked without them for the first few months after you agreed to divorce, but now it was fine. But a part of you missed having them on so you agreed.
“Sure.” You accepted happily. Cal hadn’t consulted with you on which ring he’d get you when he proposed. You still liked it, it just wasn’t something you would’ve chosen for yourself, unlike this ring, this ring was right in your wheelhouse.
“It helps a lot to see the different cuts on yourself. That way you know which ones flatter you most when the time comes to choose “the one”, you know?” He said as he extended his hand towards yours and you handed over your right hand without much thought.
“There’s only one “the one” ring. One ring to rule them all…” you said lowly as you glanced back at Harry knowingly as you quoted “Lord of the Rings” with a grin and Harry sputtered on a laugh and the salesman did as well.
“You’re a complete dork.” Harry murmured before kissing the side of your head, “S’one of the reasons I love you, though.”
“Pardon, but wrong hand, miss.” the salesman said and your eyebrows arched up before you and Harry chuckled.
“Right! Don’t know why I’m so nervous.” You chuckled in a bit of embarrassment as you handed over your left hand and Harry’s warm hand rubbed over your lower back a few times reassuringly.
“It can be nerve-wracking, it’s a big step getting engaged.” The man said and you hummed. Obviously, you and Harry were not getting engaged any time soon. You hadn’t even properly talked about marriage like that yet, this was just for fun…right? Suddenly the man gasped and you turned to him, “Would you look at that?” he mused in wonder, his bright eyes met with yours, “It’s like it was made for you. It even fits perfectly.” He pointed out with glee, “And the cut is very flattering on your hand. It looks very beautiful on you. You have good instincts for this.” He smiled up at you and you just chuckled bashfully. “What do you think, sir?” He asked Harry and you glanced back to him as well.
“I agree, I love it on you.” He smiled solely at you and you smiled back at him as your stomach did an unsettling flip that you couldn’t really focus on when the man spoke up again.
“Are you interested in seeing any other options similar to this one? We can find similar ones with different budgetary limits as well if you have a price point in mind? Or have you got any ideas for other styles or cuts you’d like to see? Maybe even see what wedding bands can match with the engagement ring?”
“Sorry, we’re actually just here to buy some cufflinks for my girlfriend’s father.” Harry explained, “We got a bit sidetracked over here. The rings are just so shiny and beautiful, it’s impossible not to come have a look at them more closely.” He said with a smile and the man hummed with a smile.
“Oh, I understand, could stand around here all day marveling. I’m sorry to have assumed. You are a lovely couple though. Maybe sometime in the future.” He said with a hopeful smile.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Harry smiled, “Thank you though.”
“Let me give this back to you.” You said as you extended your hand out again and he chuckled.
“Of course, miss.” He said and carefully slipped the ring off of your finger, “Well in the future if you are taking things to the next level feel free to make an appointment with me, my name’s Dan. I’m the senior consultant specializing in engagement rings and wedding bands.” He explained as he set the ring back in it’s spot under the glass. “We do very thorough consultations for engagement rings if you so choose to buy with us.” He said as he extended his card to you, again he seemingly pulled it out of thin air. 
“Thank you.” Harry hummed with a smile as he took it and slipped it into his pant pocket.
“My pleasure. I hope you find everything to your satisfaction.” Dan smiled before hurrying off to help another customer a few cases down.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking now?” Harry asked with a smile as you turned to him. The excitement and expectation in his eyes made your stomach start to flip for your heart rate to skyrocket.
“Ummm that Dan’s a magician? I mean he literally just conjured himself!” You said and Harry was silent for a few seconds before he knocked his head back in laughter.
“OK, right!?” He gasped and you giggled and nodded, “Like where the fuck did the business card come from? I was looking at him the entire time he was taking the ring off of you! Didn’t see him reach down into his pockets or anything once!” Harry told you with an amused look in his eyes. 
“Maybe he was a magician before he became an engagement ring consultant?”
“Like a serious one in Vegas or like for kid’s parties?” Harry asked and your eyebrows furrowed.
“All magicians are serious magicians, Harry.” You said to him in mock offense and he chuckled.
“Oh, alright well thanks for that tidbit.” He grinned.
“You’re welcome. Can’t go insulting magical careers based on the population they cater to, you muggle.” You teased and he rolled his eyes.
“Oh, excuse me…” he said sarcastically.
“I’m serious! A pediatric doctor is no less serious because they cater to children specifically, are they?” You questioned him and he smiled.
“You’re very right actually…” he pondered and you giggled, “And you’re also a very serious nuisance.” He said softly and you laughed and hugged him tight before leaning your head against his chest. You could hear his heart pounding intensely in it’s confines and it made you draw back from him as that nervous feeling started to swirl in your tummy again and caused you to feel a bit sick. It scared you that it was mostly a bad feeling, it wasn’t just nerves like you hoped when it first happened. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Harry asked you when he saw your smile fade away.
“Oh, just my stomach suddenly hurt.” You explained and he sighed.
“Did you forget your Lactaid pill? That fettuccine you had is drowned in cream sauce.” He said quietly and you sniggered.
“No, I didn’t forget it.” You assured through a giggle. “It’s gone now, I’m alright.” You said and he looked at you skeptically.
“You sure? We can just head home once you get the cufflinks if you’re not feeling well.” He suggested. You did have the rest of the day planned out. Harry had a few rental properties around town and you would be spending the night at one of the empty ones after dinner and visiting a comedy club with a few of his friends later tonight.
“I’m sure.” You smiled and he nodded. Just then Felicity called your name from behind the counter and you turned to her to see she had brought out a velvet cushion with at least a dozen cufflinks for you to look at, “Oh, look at these! Help me pick something, H.” You said to him and he nodded as he came closer to you and rested his hands at your hips as he peered over you, half-listening to what Felicity was saying to you. 
He couldn’t help it as he glanced past the cushion of cufflinks and right down at that ring you’d tried on. Dan hadn’t just been buttering you up for a potential sale when he said it was practically made for you, it really did look amazing on you. But then you got a little weird…when he’d asked you if you were thinking what he was thinking about and you deflected and started mucking about over Dan. So he quickly rejected any feelings of disappointment at your lack of seriousness over what he was trying to bring up to you and just bounced back with another playful comment about fucking Dan and his sleight of hand. It was odd to him because you two were obviously in love and your relationship was going incredibly well. But your reaction made him wonder if perhaps he was taking your future together more seriously than you were. It put an annoying and anxious weight over his chest that he had never felt with you before and it made him upset and a bit scared. He wanted to address it immediately but given your reaction to the implied situation and topic at hand he didn’t expect that you’d want to discuss it any time soon. So Harry did the one thing he knew wasn’t correct and ignored that nagging ache in his heart and just warded off all of the thoughts and things that were currently bothering him about this and focused on the task at hand, the cufflinks.
*************
“God, Cece it was absolutely mortifying!” You groaned with a frown before you just rolled over and buried your face in your pillow. Cece laughed from beside you and you pouted as you took a peek at her. “Don’t make fun.”
“I’m not! It’s just really funny actually.” She giggled and you groaned.
It had been a couple days since the ring incident at the jeweler and things had gotten a bit weird between you and Harry. Or maybe you just felt they had been weird after? You guys stuck to your plans with his friends and all but something just felt off to you. You had planned to spend the weekend together in the city, but the following day Harry said he had a work emergency come up and cancelled the rest of your plans at the last moment leaving you to have breakfast alone before you headed back to the suburbs on your own. He hadn’t been cold per se, but you knew Harry well and something had been a bit off after Friday. He barely got in touch with you for the rest of the day on Saturday, he only checked in to ensure you’d made it home safe. And now it was Sunday and all you’d gotten from him today so far was a “Have a good day” text. You had asked him how his work thing had gone and if he would be back in the area for dinner but he left you on read and that’s when you called Cece and she immediately came over.
“It’s not! Like I just…I freaked out, you know? Like I thought we were just messing around not…like…ughhh.” You groaned again in frustration and Cece sighed and gave you a sympathetic smile.
“Do you really think he’s upset at you over that?” She asked you and you shrugged.
“I don’t know, but that’s the only thing that like…that stands out from our normal interactions and conversations so I’m pretty sure.”
“Just ask him!” Cece advised with some irritation at your obstinance. “It’s that fucking simple.”
“No! What if it’s just a work or family thing and I’m just jumping to conclusions?” You asked her.
“Well you never know until you ask…” Cece said again and you sighed and glanced up to the ceiling. “And even if he’s not upset at that, clearly something about that is weighing on you. So what is that about for you? Like are you not sure of a future with Harry? Like maybe you’re concerned that he’s at a different level than you are in the relationship?” She fed a few ideas hoping you’d resonate with something and bite.
“It’s just that…like I’ve only been divorced a year, you know?” You said and Cece nodded, “I love Harry, so much! I need him like the air I breathe but I just…” you paused, “Things are just really great now, you know? What if…” you trailed off as your eyes welled up with tears, “What if marriage changes things between us, you know?” You asked in a small voice, “Like obviously I jumped into things with Cal so quickly…I didn’t take my time to make such a big decision, we were also together about a year before he proposed and look how that ended! I don’t want to do the same thing with Harry and have it all go to shit!” You were crying now and Cece frowned and just tutted and pulled you into her chest as you cried, “I can’t lose him, Cece. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I can’t.” You sobbed.
“Oh babe…” she hummed quietly as she gently scratched at your head. “I know that the future can be scary, but what you have with Harry is not what you had with Cal. He’s a different person, it’s a different relationship. And you’re a different person too, babe. You were fucking 23 when you started dating Cal, you were half kid, half grown up! You had just moved out of your parents’ house, you hardly had any life experience…” she reminded you, “Things are very different for you now. You’re more mature now so you’re going to have the right amount of doubt and ask the right questions. And I know you won’t be victim to the rose colored glasses of your relationship with Harry this time around.” She pointed out and you sighed as you pulled back and looked into her eyes.
“One would fucking hope…” you sighed and she smiled at you with sympathy, “I know that maybe I didn’t love Cal anymore by the time we divorced but it still took a toll, you know?” You explained and she nodded.
“Of course, babe. It’s a lot to go through.” She said and you nodded, “D-do you feel like maybe you rushed into this relationship with Harry?” Cece asked you and you sighed.
“I don’t even know anymore! Like at the time it didn’t feel that way…we just have so much chemistry and it was so easy, you know? Like was I on an oxytocin high from being with him that I just said yes to him?” You asked and Cece frowned.
“Did you feel any hesitation when he asked you to be his girlfriend?” Cece asked and you shook your head. “So the doubt is new then.” She said and you frowned.
“It’s not doubt…I mean I know he’s the one for me! It’s just…I’m scared.” You admitted with a small voice, “I’m scared that…that I’m repeating history.”
“Would you want to marry him if he asked?”
“Of course! I’d just need to have a talk with him about it to ensure that what happened with Cal doesn’t happen again. Like we haven’t even talked about that yet and next thing I know I’m trying on an engagement ring! It was just a lot…”
“Well maybe that’s what he was trying to do after? Not necessarily talk about when you’d get engaged or even a timeline. Maybe he just wanted to see if you were thinking similarly about what you saw for your future together?” She suggested, “Then you went and made a joke of it and well…I can see how that might possibly hurt his feelings or just make him pull back a bit to gain some perspective about where you two truly stand, you know?” Cece said and you sighed as those pieces started fitting together into a picture. A picture where you were the unserious asshole and he was just the lovely man that he’s always been.
“God, I am the worst…” you groaned.
“No you’re not, Y/N. You’re still healing from before. Now, that doesn’t mean that you jumped the gun with Harry. It just means that your last marriage was shit and obviously you’re going to be a bit more apprehensive when the topic comes up this time around.” She comforted you with a soft and caring smile.
“Thanks.” You sniffled and she nodded.
“Now, if I were you I’d try to talk to Harry about this as soon as possible just to clear the air. Just ask and if it’s not anything to do with that or with you then at least you’ve done some of the soul searching so that if it ever comes up again you don’t deflect by calling him a muggle.” She said playfully and you shrieked and covered your face with your hands.
“So embarrassing!” You wailed as Cece just laughed.
**********
You had texted Harry and told him that you needed to talk to him when he was next available. You waited about an hour before he responded and said that he also needed to talk to you about something and that he could come to yours in the evening and you agreed. After that response your afternoon with Cece was just riddled with anxiety; she tried to talk you down, but you were a wreck and convinced yourself that Harry was just coming over to dump you in person. She had left you about fifteen minutes before he was due at yours. You had taken a CBD gummy to calm your nerves and even had a quick, warm body shower to help expel some tension, but the erratic beating of your heart was just too much for you to control. When your doorbell rang, signaling Harry’s arrival, you took slow deep breaths as you made your way across your apartment and finally unlocked the door.
“Hey, come in.” You said with a small and nervous smile and he thanked you quietly as he stepped inside. 
He immediately got to toeing off his shoes and you just hurried over to the living room area while he finished up. When Harry finally made his way over he saw you staring at him anxiously and it put an awful feeling in his stomach. Maybe you were going to break up with him for the way he had been acting the last couple days. He hadn’t meant to shut down and pull away like that after the incident at the jeweler, but he was suddenly faced with the harsh reality that maybe you both were on completely different pages about your relationship and where you wanted it to go eventually. He knew that the mere act of withdrawing from someone who loves and trusts you instead of communicating openly and honestly can just drive an irreparable wedge between two people and he hoped to the high heavens that he hadn’t done that.
“Ummm, can I sit?” He asked as he pointed to the spot beside you and you nodded.
“Yeah, of course.” You assured him and he sat down but angled his body towards yours and then you moved around to do the same. You were criss-crossed and looking down at the heart-patterned fuzzy socks on your feet for a moment before he decided to break the silence.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” He asked nervously and you bit your lip.
“I’m ummm, still gathering my thoughts a bit. You can go first if you know what you want to say.” You offered and he nodded. He was nervous too, but at least if he got to go first and was just super genuine and apologetic you wouldn’t dump him if that was your plan for this conversation.
“OK sure.” He agreed and exhaled before looking into your eyes, “I’m really sorry for the way I’ve been acting the last couple of days. I lied about that work emergency I said I had on Saturday because I ummm….” He sighed, “I just got a bit…well, not a bit, I was -er I am upset at you for ummm…for what happened at the jeweler on Friday.” He said and you frowned, “I was…I was hoping that after having such an intimate and well, serious moment like that w-with the engagement ring? I hoped that we could maybe have a serious conversation about our future together, like see what our goals were and all that. But then you just went and deflected it by making a total joke of it and it…hurt my feelings and made me feel like maybe you were not as serious about me as I am about you. I should’ve said something when we got a moment to ourselves but I just thought you would deflect again or make light of what happened and I got nervous and just…shut down instead.” He explained with a frown and you immediately reached your hand out to his and he took it immediately.
“I’m really sorry, Harry. I also wanted to talk to you about that same thing.” You said and he nodded, urging you to go on. “I know what I did and I’m so sorry for hurting your feelings. I just…got really uncomfortable and freaked out a bit when I realized the conversation you were wanting to have with me.” You explained and he looked even more disappointed and you spoke up again quickly, “Not because the idea of having a future with you makes me uncomfortable! But because in my experience marriage doesn’t really guarantee anything…” you explained and his eyes softened as yours welled up again, “I mean, my entire marriage was a total lie! We had been so great before we took that step and it scares me to think that maybe marriage is the problem and that it’ll just ruin what we have together. And like…when Cal proposed to me we had also been together for about a year and I suddenly felt like I was in a re-run! And the last thing I want is to repeat history with you. I mean, I’ve only been divorced a year, so I suddenly felt like once again I was just jumping the gun because I was high on love or something and I started to doubt myself and my choices. Not you, never you though. J-just me and my judgement.” You explained with tearful eyes upon admitting that to him. You hated feeling like you couldn’t be objective and up until that point you were so confident that you had been objectively doing what was best for you by allowing yourself to fall for Harry.  
“Fuck…I wasn’t even thinking about that, baby. I completely forgot that you were even married before! Jesus… I’m sorry. I wasn’t even considering that or how you might feel about it.” He shook his head incredulously and clearly disappointed in himself for putting you in that position. You smiled despite your glossy eyes, because his reaction alone assured you that you were with the right person. Despite all of the love and feelings tangled up in this, Harry was the best thing for you, even objectively speaking. “Call me crazy, but to me it sometimes feels like we’ve been together forever.” He confessed with a timid smile and you squeezed his hand and nodded.
“Yeah, it does to me too.” You agreed earnestly, “I’m so sorry for making light of such a special moment, Harry. It truly was so special, it felt so…real and possible and promising, then I went and…ruined it by mentioning fucking magic…”
“It’s impressive how mentioning the magic truly sucked it out of the moment.” He mused with a grin and you chuckled and shook your head with embarrassment. 
“I’m sorry…” you sighed again and he chuckled.
“S’alright, baby. I’m glad we’ve cleared the air.” He said looking more relaxed all around.
“Me too. Can you forgive me though, for making light of such a serious moment and of dismissing what you were so clearly feeling then? I promise I’ll be more communicative next time I feel any type of apprehension about anything.” You said and he smiled and leaned forward, grabbing your face gently and kissing your lips quickly.
“Of course I forgive you.” He assured you and you smiled, “Though, the thing you truly owe me an apology for, which you have even failed to mention during this very serious conversation, is the fact that you called me a bloody muggle.” He said with a grin and you giggled, “I’ve never been called a muggle before. That was your true crime.” He joked, lightening the mood between you two. You laughed lightly at this fact.
“Well I’m sorry for calling you a muggle. Out of anyone in the world, I am more than aware that you truly do have the magic in all the right places.” You said with a slightly suggestive grin and he chuckled and kissed you again.
“That I do.” He mumbled against your lips with a smirk and you kissed him back before you pulled back from it with smiles.
“Now, if you want a do over of that conversation I’m more than prepared to talk about it.” You said and he smiled.
“Yeah?” He asked and you nodded bashfully, “Well, obviously I want to marry you.” He said and your smile widened. “I just ummm…I wanted to know if you wanted the same thing down the line?” He asked and you nodded.
“I do.” You agreed.
“Great! Umm…so obviously this is uncharted territory to me, but you’ve had experience in this, which I completely failed to consider before…” he sighed, “But ummm…what would you want out of a marriage with me when we get to that stage? Or in your eyes what would a marriage look like?” He asked you earnestly. You had never been asked that before. Is that what people did when they talked about their future? If so, Cal had skipped all of this…he had told you once after a weekend shag-a-thon that he would marry you one day and that was about all of the discussion you’d had about it. 
“Ummm…obviously, don’t cheat on me.” You said with a smile and he nodded.
“Never.” He assured you.
“I think we’ve struck a really good time balance in the last few months with our work and our time together and with our friends. I would like to continue having open and honest communication…” you said and he hummed in agreement, “I would expect to maybe have a bit more discussion and input about our own professional endeavors. Like if my little company gets bigger and in more demand I would certainly talk to you about it before just jumping into all this extra work that would take away from our time together, you know? I think that’s more from my experience with Cal…like I honestly just believed that his work was just taking all of his time. I didn’t have the slightest clue about anything going on at the firm. He kept me in the dark and so it was just so much easier for him to lie to me and I would be none the wiser.” 
“Yeah.” Harry said with a frown as his thumb ran over your knuckles gently. 
“What else…” you hummed, “Oh, the finances bit!” You said and he nodded, “I like what Cal and I had arranged. We both contributed pretty equitably. We did have a joint account for that, but we also had our individual money and savings. I mean, we were a bit closer in earnings though, so that might look very different for us when we get to that point. But having some financial independence is a must for me.” You explained.
“I completely agree with you there.” Harry said and you smiled.
“Also kids. I mean, at least one…maybe two?” You said and his smile widened and he nodded, “I would expect that you be just as present and available for our kids as I would be when you’re at home. I mean, the home is a shared space, so I wouldn’t want to be like a wife, maid, cook, nanny, and business woman. I would expect that we share the load and that each of us took the same ownership over our home and our children.” You said and he nodded. “Also, I’d expect that we don’t let the romance die.” You said and he smiled.
“Wouldn’t dream of that, my love.” He assured you.
“I guess the overarching theme here is that I would want a marriage to look more like a partnership this time around. I don’t want to feel like I’m the only one stoking it to life all the time. I want to feel loved, seen, and supported by my partner. What about you? Any expectations of me?” You asked him.
“I agree with everything you’ve said. I want to marry you because I want to have a life with you. I want to be present for you and for our family. I want to share our time together as much as possible. I know that sometimes things can happen and we can sort of veer, so I would expect you to let me know when I’m not doing my part. I also expect that you allow me to do the same for you. If we do have kids I want to be very hands on, so I want to be able to choose how to parent with you. I want our goals for our family to align as much as possible, you know?” He asked and you nodded. “Obviously, the nitty gritty of each of these will not be figured out until we start to cross those bridges, but overall I would want our marriage to basically be like our safe haven from everything else. I want it to just be us and our family after a long day. It’s the place where I want to feel safe and comforted and loved as well. And I would want our kids to feel that too, to feel like being with their family is a breath of fresh air.” He smiled and you did as well.
“I love you so much, you know that?” You hummed happily.
“I love you too.” He whispered before bringing up your hand and kissing the top of it. “And ummm, I realize that you’re still healing from the disappointment of your last marriage, so I don’t want to push you or rush you through that. I mean, I would marry you next month if you wanted!” He chuckled, “But I want you to feel ready for that step with me. So whenever you are, just let me know and we can…call Dan, the magic man and see about some engagement rings.” He said with a bashful, but hopeful little smile and you just surged forward and hugged him, tackling him down into the couch and he chuckled as he hugged you back.
“I’m gonna keep working through it for us, OK? I promise.” You said to him quietly.
“I know, baby.” He hummed as he rubbed over your back, “God, I thought you were going to dump me…”
“Oh my god, I thought the same thing about you!” You sniggered and then pressed yourself up to look at him and he hugged around your waist lightly, “Was prepared to fight for you tooth and nail.”
“Oh same, baby. Can’t let you go that easily.” He hummed and you grinned.
“I’m going to kiss you now, OK?” You said and he nodded before you dipped down to attach your lips to his eagerly.
It was easy for your kisses to start to get more and more obscene the longer your lips moved together. Your hips were moving over his, grinding your centers together heatedly, longing for some much needed friction. Feeling his erection growing and stiffening up in his joggers was driving you crazy. You wanted to rip his clothes off and go to town on him. You moaned into the kiss as his hands cupped your ass and guided your pace. He slightly shifted and then hummed in delight as you were now perfectly resting over his cock with each grind of your hips. You bit down on his bottom lip, sucking gently, teasing with your tongue but not slipping it into his mouth. He was growing impatient, his fingers digging into your plush bottom indicated his need for you to do more.
“Need something?” You asked with a playful grin and he nodded. You knelt up so that you were straddling his lap now and peering down at him. “What is it, baby? What do you want?” You asked him softly. Suddenly his hand was gripping the back of your neck and pushing you down into a kiss. It was sloppy and urgent and you giggled into it.
“Suck me off.” he mumbled against your mouth. “Please.” He tagged on after a few moments of your eyes just staring into his playfully.
“Alright, only because you asked so nicely…” you said with a smile and he immediately bit down on his bottom lip when he felt your fingers dancing along the elastic band of his joggers.
“Mmm…on second thought turn around. Wanna taste you too.” He said with a smirk that just about melted you from the inside out.
“Definitely not gonna argue with that…” you mused and quickly got off of him and of the couch to get all the clothes off of your lower half. Harry also took advantage and did the same before tugging you back over to him and kissing you deeply before instructing you to get back over him again. You were cautious and allowed him to guide your movements until your wet center was being tickled by his puffs of air. It was making you shiver as a chill traveled down your spine until your skin was covered in goosebumps.
“So fucking pretty and so fucking wet for me.” He hummed, his lips continued tickling your labia as he spoke against you. He hadn’t applied enough pressure for you to feel him against any of the more sensitive spots, but it was keeping you on edge as he kissed over where your entrance was very lightly.
“Baby…” you sighed with impatience.
“Don’t whine at me, use your mouth like I want you to.” He said and you moaned before just taking a hold of his cock and dipping the head between your lips. You gave him a nice, hard suck and he moaned lowly against you. You swore that you felt the vibration of his moan tickle your clit, “Fuck take more, baby…shit just like that. So fucking good with that mouth.” He sighed in pleasure as you sunk down half way and stroked the rest of him with your hand.
You moaned when you felt his fingers slightly spread your folds apart before he started laving from your entrance to your clit, his pace was set to that of your sucking on his cock. He was so good at this, he knew all of your weak spots well. You ground against him when he pushed his thick, hot tongue into your entrance. He plunged it in and out, in and out, over and over…you were so sensitive right at your entrance, it was making your head spin and you started to sink lower on his cock. He started to thrust up into your mouth, making you drool down his cock. When his fingers found your clit you moaned around him which caused him to groan against you.
“Fuck…” he grunted as he kissed at your cheek and let his tongue wander up to your bum. You shivered as he ran his tongue over your ribbed little hole as he sunk his thick digits into your sopping entrance. He twisted his fingers a bit until he felt yours walls clamp down around his fingers hard, “Right there, baby?” You moaned in response and he chuckled and then hissed when you sunk all the way down his cock, “Oh fuck…fuck yeah…” he hissed as his abs tensed up when his tip collided with the soft back of your mouth. His fingers kept prodding into that spot that had your arousal dripping from you and it built your orgasm quickly. He always found your g-spot and it did wonders for your orgasms.
You were nearly gagging on his cock as he thrust up into your throat, seeking out his own pleasure as you started to lose your rhythm with how good his fingers were working you. You were trying your best to breathe properly through your nose but it was hard to and the lack of proper airflow was making you feel a little woozy, but you were thriving off it because you were feeling the pleasure far more than normal.
“Shit, I’m gonna come…need you to come for me first, baby. Please…” he panted and you moaned around him and pulled up to focus on his tip as your hand stroked him expertly. It brought you joy to see his thighs trembling as he tried to hold his orgasm back, “Baby…baby, please…” he chuckled and you let your tongue rub into his slit, tasting his slightly salty pre-come starting to pool at it, “Oh fuck…” he groaned and he had to pull his fingers from you and just grabbed your thighs as his head rolled back and he chuckled, the sound melting into a grunt until you felt his sperm starting to shoot into your mouth. You swallowed what you could, but could feel some spilling out of the side of your mouth. You then slowly pulled off but kept stroking very slowly, “C-can’t believe you made me come first…” he chuckled breathily, “You’re gonna get it.” He panted and you grinned mischievously.
“It was apology head.” You hummed, “Think I owe you a bit more apologizing though…” you suggested mischievously and he was about to respond but you dipped down and sucked around his sensitive tip before he could even stop you. He started to laugh a bit at the sensitivity and breathily begged you to ease up as the tingles and overstimulation seemed to run an electric current down to his toes. He was trying to mind you as he writhed a bit beneath you.
“Baby!” He groaned through gritted teeth and just as you were about to let him go and cut him a break he moaned, “Fuck, I’mgonnacomeagain…” he slurred his words as he squeezed his eyes shut. His thighs were completely tense, his legs buckled as he groaned, “Shit baby, don’t stop…Don’t stop, don’t stop!” He begged and seconds later you felt his second orgasm pooling into your mouth. Once again, he was flooding it up with his generous creamy load and when you could tell he was done you pulled off of him with a satisfied smile as you swallowed it all down. Before you could even move he landed a sharp slap to your ass that made you straighten up and he chuckled as you glanced back and shot him glare, he was smirking at you in the same manner you were smirking at him. Then you knelt up and carefully got off the couch, you were going to offer him some water when he shot up and grabbed your hand and you glanced over at him.
“What, baby?” You asked with a smile.
“You’re not getting off that easy.” He smirked, “Come on, take a seat.” He said with an inviting smile. 
“A seat?” You asked him with a smirk.
“Yeah love, on my face.” He grinned and well, he didn’t have to entice you any further. He was quick to get one of your decorative pillows under his head before you were lowering yourself down against his mouth. He kissed at you and tongued at your clit a few times and you watched as he got lost in you. You were letting him do his thing, but then his eyes blinked open and met your entranced gaze, “Use me to get off.” he mumbled against your sticky pussy, “Come on.” He encouraged. 
You could see the lust in his eyes, he was hungry for it as much as you were. So without apprehension you slowly let more of your weight down over him. Your teeth were pinching down on your bottom lip as you slightly ran your folds over his mouth and he immediately got to work and you let out a sigh of relief as he sloppily lapped at you.The best thing about this was that he was really into it and it made the experience that much more pleasurable. He had his arms wrapped around your thighs as his neck craned up a bit to get even closer if possible. The wet and slurping sounds of him feasting on you were riling you up and you couldn’t stop yourself as you started to grind down against him. You let your head tilt back as your clit bumped into his nose over and over again until you were seeing stars. You were sure you were suffocating him beneath you, but he was holding you down so tightly you wouldn’t be able to really pull away if you wanted. You looked down at him with pleasure drunk eyes to see that he was looking at you just the same way and you groaned through a smile as you guided yourself a bit lower so that your clit was over his mouth.
“Suck it please, I’m getting close.” You requested and he groaned and opened up before latching his mouth over the top half of your pussy. You immediately moaned when the pressure of his sucks started to make your clit throb incessantly.
  “Mmmm, just like that, baby…You’re doing so good. Fuck it feels so good.” You praised him as your fingers raked into his hair. Your eyebrows creased in when you felt the tip of his tongue slowly start to flick against your sensitive little bud every time he sucked it in. You were gripping his hair harder and harder the closer you got to your orgasm and he moaned at the sting of your pull on his thick curls. “Oh…you-you’re gonna make me come!” You alerted him and he started going a bit faster. Your breath was hitching as that unmistakeable warmth swimming in your belly started to spread all throughout your body. It was making you feel hot all over, “Yeah H, keep going like that…shit, just like that! Yes, baby!” You panted out your urgency. 
Your body broke out in goosebumps as you teetered on the edge of it all, your tummy was fluttering and your thighs were quaking around his head as you clung to the feeling of that little spark that was about to ignite and make your entire body burst with the most sensational pleasure. It was until he very gently grazed his teeth over your unsuspecting little bundle that you started to come undone. You felt as if you had no control of your body as your writhed over him hard. You were completely selfish about it as you rode his face to get off.
Harry’s hands slid up and under your top and pinched at your nipples hard as you came undone over his mouth. You were moaning, praising, and cursing him relentlessly as fireworks burst behind your eyelids. You knew you were being louder than you were when you guys were at yours, but you couldn’t help it. And even still, you could hardly hear yourself over the intense  ringing of your ears as your body fought it’s best to keep you coherent. You were drowning in the beautiful, warm waves of pleasure with each gentle suck he gave to your oversensitive clit. Even when you were shivering and gasping from the overstimulation you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t pull away from him. It all felt so good, you were lost and floating in pure bliss. Slowly, your orgasm started to dwindle down and you started to snigger just as he had when it was getting to be too much. When you began twitching and jerking over him from the sensitivity, he was far kinder than you were though and opted to just kiss at your messy folds delicately and lovingly until you were good and ready to get off of him. 
His big, warm hands kneaded at your breasts before tickling down your abdomen and thighs. Once again you were covered in goosebumps at the lovely, little tickles of his gentle fingers over your heated skin. You could let him do this all day if you could, but you needed to let him breathe properly, so you gathered your strength and knelt up a bit. He huffed and craned his neck up to give your swollen and slicked up pussy one final kiss before he let go of your thighs and allowed you to sink down and kiss him deeply.
“Thank you.” You whispered against his mouth and he smiled.
“No, no, no. Thank you.” He insisted with a grin and you giggled and kissed his chin.
“Have you had dinner?” You asked.
“Ummm…I just ate.” He said with a smug expression and you rolled your eyes playfully at him, “You should’ve seen that coming, baby.” He chuckled.
“I really should have…” you laughed breathily, “Seriously though. I didn’t because I was nervous for our talk.” You explained.
“I did, but we can order something in or go pick something up. M’feeling a little peckish.” He said.
“What about phở? S’quite cold. I could use something warm.”
“OK, maybe I can eat again.” He chuckled and you smiled.
“The place I like doesn’t deliver, we’ll have to order and carry out. Might be like 20-30 minutes?”
“Yeah, that’s alright.” He assured.
Soon he was getting dressed and hurrying to rinse of his face while you placed your order. Then you did the same as him and just decided to remove your makeup since it was getting late. When you emerged from your bathroom you saw Harry sprawled out on your bed scrolling through his phone and you just went over and straddled his lap again. He immediately dropped his phone and hugged you as you rested over him. 
“You really want to marry me?” You asked quietly and he smiled.
“Yeah, baby. I really fucking do.” He responded, “Been waiting my whole life for you.” He hummed as he caressed your back lightly.
“I think I have been waiting for you too.” You said softly and he kissed the top of your head a few times which made you smile.
You had no idea what kind of good karma you had accumulated throughout your life to deserve someone like Harry, but you were so glad that you had him in your life. He truly was your other half. You’d loved others before, but this was so different than all the other times. Finally, everything you gave was being reciprocated how you needed it to be. He made you feel important, safe, and cared for in a way that you hadn’t felt since you were a child. It was comforting to be around someone who made you feel that way. He often told you that he felt the same with you and nothing could make you happier than knowing that he felt your love as well. Harry was definitely more of a physical touch type of person, which you were a quality time person, but those two seemed to go hand in hand. You could lay in silence with him like this for hours, just being close to him, being in his presence for whatever amount of time always made you feel better.  
…. DECEMBER ….
You were currently getting ready for Harry’s firm’s Holiday party. A thing you had always wondered about but had never been invited to when you were with Cal. You were very excited because Harry told you it was quite lavish this year, especially after the very successful year he’d had. It was going to be formal/black tie optional because he really wanted to treat his employees after all of their hard work and effort.
Typically he gave a budget to each department and they would choose how to celebrate or if they just wanted to give out bonuses to their people. But he wanted to celebrate every single person who put in effort for him and his family’s company and give everyone bonuses, or at least that what you suggested and he took that suggestion. From the top executives to the interns who did the boring paperwork and coffee runs. Every person counted and he wanted them to feel that. He had asked you to work with Corey to vet a few caterers. 
He had hired a planner already for the organization and decor because he didn’t want you fretting over all of this, he wanted you to enjoy as a guest. Nevertheless, knowing this was your niche, he still ran all of the design elements and ideas by you which he knew would make you so excited. When he looked through the selection of caterers the planner offered he wasn’t really impressed. Since he didn’t find what he was looking for he of course he asked you and well now, everything was absolutely perfect. The party was later in the afternoon in the same building the firm was in, but on the top floor. It had been converted into an event hall the year prior and it was the perfect location as the mostly all glass walls gave breathtaking views of the city. In preparation for this most lavish event, you and Harry had been lazing around and leaving everything in the hands of the planner.
You had decided to make a whole weekend of it and stayed over at one of his for rent apartments in the city with him. It was lovely and you were just laying in the big, comfy bed as you looked through some emails from potential clients wanting to hire you for their special events. It was around noon when Harry finally got out of bed and he’d only done so because he still wasn’t sure what he would be wearing that night. He had brought along two options and he wanted to get your opinion on what would be the best look for the party.
“Baby, what do you think?” Harry asked you as he emerged in a classic black tuxedo and you glanced up from your laptop and then your eyes widened a bit before you smirked.
“Okay, James Bond! I see you…” You hummed at him and he chuckled and glanced down bashfully, shaking his head at your nonsense, “Christ, look at you.” You whispered in awe as you got out of bed and hurried over to him.
“Like it?” He asked.
“Oh man, do I…” you said as you straightened out the bowtie just a bit.
“I also brought a gray one that-”
“No, no. Wear the black one.” You said decisively with a smile.
“Yeah?”
“Definitely. It’s so classic and ummm, we’ll also match.” You said with a big smile, your excitement was shimmering in your eyes.
“Like a proper couple.” He said and you nodded giddily. “What dress did you end up getting?” He asked you.
“The Sau Lee one? Remember s’black with a big bow in the front?”
“Mmmm…faintly.” He said and you smiled.
“Should I try it on for you?” You asked coyly. And he gave you an expression that screamed ‘obviously’. “OK, let me do that. Go wait on the bed.” You instructed and hurried into the closet. 
The surprise you had for him was that you’d gotten some lingerie specifically for when you got back home. You hadn’t picked a dress with a bow as the top for nothing! You wanted him to feel like you were the present he got to unwrap on Christmas morning. Moments later you were buck naked and just slipping into the dress to show him. You had every intention of getting back into your PJ’s until you had to shower and get ready for the evening. You jumped around a bit, grunting as you tried to get the zip up.
“Need help?” He called out.
“I’ve got it!” You assured him and after a few moments you were smiling at your reflection with complete satisfaction before heading out of the large walk-in closet and into the bedroom.
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“Oh, baby…” Harry exhaled and shook his head as his smile widened.
“What?” You giggled.
“How am I supposed to see you walking around like that all night and do nothing about it?” He chuckled and you smile widened.
“You’ll just have to be patient.” You said to him and he chuckled.
“I will try my best. My god, you’re perfect.” He hummed and you were literally buzzing with excitement.
“I’m gonna wear these long diamond drop earrings I picked up at a Francesca’s a few years back. Been trying to find a thing to wear them for and I finally can! Oh, I also got these black satin gloves that I think would make it look that much more fancy and that would look cute with a diamond bracelet I borrowed from Cece-”
“Cece has a diamond bracelet?” He asked you and you nodded.
“She has sugar daddies in powerful places!” You said matter-of-factly.
“The more I learn about her the more fascinating she becomes…like there’s gonna be a film about her life at some point.”
“Oh, for sure…” You chuckled and he smiled.
“Well I say yes, go for the whole look! Gotta commit to it, love.”
“Mmmm, you’re right. We’re gonna look so cute. We’ll have to have the photographers take nice pictures of us.”
“Definitely. Also, I know it would push us over budget a bit, but Corey talked me into the slow-mo 360 photo op thing so we’ll have that too.” He said.
“Nice, Corey…that’s gonna be great!” You grinned and he nodded.
  “Yeah, it was pretty sick. OK, now go change before we have to get you a new dress for tonight on account of me tearing it off of you.” He said and you cackled as you hurried back to the closet to get changed.
Though you knew he was being a little theatrical, there was a very real possibility that he would do just as he said; when he was in the mood he could be ravenous. You could be too, especially when it came to him. But he had proven this to you over and over again, even on that first time you hooked up with him. He had gone completely overboard, not that you didn’t benefit from it, but based on how things had been with you before it was a lot. And now you had built your stamina to better match his own.
It was around 2pm when you got in the shower. You and Harry were supposed to arrive at 4:30 so you had to hurry it up a bit. Even though you had begged him not to, he followed you into the shower and you had to pry him off of you to be able to get out. But when you were free you got to drying up, moisturizing, and getting your lingerie on. You wouldn’t be wearing a bra with your dress so you had on a deep red mesh thong, imprinted with black little hearts and the edges outlining the mesh were frilled. They were so cute and hyperfeminine. Best part was that you had a shade of red lipstick that matched the lingerie you were wearing as well. It wasn’t crazy lingerie but you loved the idea of having a horny little secret all night long. Maybe you’d tell him when you were riding up on the elevator. Tell him that you had a little treat for him at the end of the night… It would undoubtedly rile him up and keep him on edge.
*************
And rile him up you did. You actually had very punctual guests and so you actually got straight to greeting just minutes after you arrived. Of course, you were sat beside each other at dinner, but he was talking mostly to his colleague on his left and you to his colleague on your right. When dinner was cleared, everyone was asked to huddle around the screen at the Dj booth for a little slide show of the year in review all the while the event staff cleared the tables of the china quickly. Harry gave a small little speech about how grateful he was for everyone before letting them know that their night was their own from that point on.
There were the photo ops, a couple games, a few dessert tables, and of course dancing to a live big band ensemble. As you made your rounds you eventually ran into Cal and his date, Melissa, which seemingly was a bit older than you were, which was good for him. She was a very sweet woman from the short conversation you’d had and Cal seemed to be in a great mood with her around.
For a while, you and Harry kept getting swept away from each other, but that didn’t mean that your eyes weren’t constantly meeting, your gazes simmering with longing. Your eyes were hazy with lust, it was making your blood thump harder and faster through your veins. You were smoldering with desire for him, you’d been lusting after him all day and you were reaching a boiling point. You caught him raking his eyes down your plump-as-a-peach ass while his top row of teeth sunk into his plush bottom lip. You grinned and when your gazes met he signaled you to look right with his eyebrows and you saw that it was the exit of the salon. You bit your lip and nodded. You excused yourself from your conversation and hurried off to meet Harry by the door. 
When you finally caught up with him you tugged at the sleeve of his jacket and he glanced back and smiled and his hand found found yours and pulled you out to the corridor. The bathrooms were out there, so there were plenty of people hanging around out there, but he just beelined it to the elevators. He pulled you ahead of him and then hugged you to his body from behind. He slid one if his hands down to your lower tummy and pushed against it, inevitably pressing your body back against his until your bottom was flush with his front and you smirked when you felt the outline of his boner rubbing up against your butt.
“Gonna fuck you till you leave a huge creamy mess all over my cock.” He whispered before nipping at the shell of your ear.
“Fuck me…” you exhaled as your walls fluttered beautifully, making a tingle zap through your body.
“Alright hurry, push the ‘door close’ button.” He mumbled as he rushed you inside as the doors opened. 
In moments you were shooting down floors at a time until you came to a slow and smooth stop on his floor. As soon as he got to the floor he hurried around the reception desk there and dug in his front pocket to grab his key card and give you access past the heavy glass door behind the main reception desk. You guys rushed through other communal areas surrounding a few clusters of cubicles and other offices on your way back to his office, he was all the way at the back of the space so after you got through the lounge and the back offices, you finally made it to the administrative offices. And at the far end of that area was his office. He pushed the door open and held it for you as you hurried in, then he came up behind you grabbing you by the hips and guiding you behind his desk, kicking the chair away from it. You could just barely see anything so you bumped into the frame and he winced for you.
“You alright, baby?” He asked as he tapped against the base of his desk lamp and a very dim, warm glow lit up his office.
“Yeah, H.” You whispered and he hummed and looked you over once more before he kissed at your neck sloppily.
“Can I ride this up past your hips?” He asked of your dress.
“Nuh-uh, gotta take it all off.” you said and he hummed.
“S’that alright? Can I?”
“Yeah, baby…there’s not a bow over my boobs for no reason…” you smirked and he chuckled.
“Oh okay, I see…” he mused with a smile, “You really are a gift, baby. So exquisite.” He hummed and found your zipper before tugging it slowly down your back. When he saw the edge of your thong he smiled. “And look at this…Can I take a picture?” He asked.
“A picture? For what?” You chuckled.
“To have a wank over you when needed, of course! What else for, baby?” He asked rhetorically and you chuckled again.
“Yeah, get my dress off first.” You said and he even crouched down to help you step out of it. When Harry noticed your point toed black heels, he decided that they were staying on for this. He neatly draped your dress over the chair that had rolled a few feet away from you and then reached for his phone in his pocket.
“S’gonna be a .5 alright? Bend over and look back. Alright, hold it.” He said and then the flash went off. He then brought the phone down and opened the app and grinned. “Fuck, look at you…” he said showing you and you smiled. “These are too cute to come off.” he complimented as his finger tucked itself under the elastic band edge that narrowed and got lost between your plump, round cheeks. His finger traced down until he was down by your pussy. You were scorching between your legs and he brought four fingers together and petted at your pussy. The mesh there felt sticky and he moaned, “Fuck you’re sopping wet.” He chuckled as he set his phone down on the top of his desk and you nodded.
“Please get inside me. I need to feel you, baby.” You requested and he groaned.
“Alright baby, let me…let me get these off.” he said and just threw off his jacket and untucked his shirt before working the button and fly of his slacks. He rolled his briefs down with his pants before he grabbed his cock. He gave it a firm squeeze at the base and then at the head, groaning in relief at all that alleviated pressure.
You wiggled your ass at him, absolutely gagging to feel his girth spreading your tight, cushy walls apart in one go. He painted down your bum with his tip and then pushed you down onto the desk and you gasped as your breasts smushed into the cold surface. But you held your position and smiled as he spread your legs further with his own. His thick fingers gathered the center strap of your thong and moved it to the side, tugging hard enough that it exposed your pussy enough so that he could smear his cock against your folds and slick it up with your sticky arousal. 
“Fuck baby, please…” you begged.
“How do you want it.”
“However you feel like, just get in me.” You said and he wasted no time to nudge at your weepy little hole with the bulbous head of his cock. You were basically vibrating with anticipation to feel him sinking inside of you. You needed to feel it like you needed air to breathe. The last thing you expected was for him to just ram his cock into you, you gasped at the sudden and harsh intrusion and even let out a small whimper as he held himself deep inside you. Your walls spasmed around him, adjusting to his sudden and most welcomed intrusion.
“So fucking tight, fuck…” he grunted as he gently started to grind against you. His tip would brush against your cervix occasionally like this. You were slightly on your tiptoes and your legs were starting to tremble, but when you lowered your feet from that position to relieve the burning in your calf muscles his cock completely pushed against it and you shrieked and Harry chuckled. “Y’alright, baby?” He asked as he ground into you and you groaned softly, “It hurts?” He asked.
“J-just a little bit.” You got out as you sought out the pleasure despite the small discomfort.
“Yeah? Is my cock too big for you, baby…” he hummed as he stayed there, letting you get used to it, “Can’t handle it?” He asked and you whimpered at this feeling, he had never intentionally gone that deep it was so new for you. You loved it but it was a feeling to get used to for sure, especially with his size.
“I-I don’t know…” you confessed as you stayed perfectly still, letting him grind against you, prodding up against the deepest part of you rhythmically. You were breathing shallowly as you tried to get used to it because by no means were you about to ask him to stop, you needed it so bad.
“You sure you can’t? From what I’m seeing you’re handling it pretty well, baby. Fuck…just feel so good around me.” he groaned as he started going a bit faster and suddenly the sounds of your arousal intensified into loud squelching sounds every time his front collided with you. The filthy sounds had Harry’s ears ringing and he grinned, “S’starting to feel better?”
“Yes…yes fuck. Harder, baby. Please, fuck me harder.” You moaned and he did as you asked. He went at it with greater force and it had your eyes squeezing shut, you were dripping around his cock and he was absolutely obsessed with it. His fingers slithered down the front of your thong and started to toy with your clit. “Mmmm, that’s it.” You egged him on happily as his fingers swirled around your sensitive little bud. It was sending additional little shocks of pleasure down your legs. You started to moan when he picked up the pace and fucked into you harder and faster than before, his desk was shaking beneath you and you swore your legs were about to give. 
“Shit…” he grunted as he stilled deep inside of you once again. His eyes were squeezed shut and his jaw clenched. He was so fucking close and he didn’t want it to be over yet…but you should be getting back down to the party… “Can I turn you around, baby? Wanna see you when I come.” He said softly and you nodded and when he pulled out of you the emptiness made you feel so cold. Nevertheless, you pressed yourself up and he twirled you around and bent down a bit to lift you up onto the surface of the desk. He smiled as he got a look at you in the dim lighting. His eyes had adjusted enough that he could make out the slightly smudged mascara and eyeliner at the outer corner of your eyes and when he reached up to wipe it away you turned your head.
“No, don’t.” You said softly and he smiled.
“Not gonna make it worse, just wanna clean it up a bit so that-”
“I know, don’t want you to clean it up.” You responded quietly and he smiled.
“Want to go back up there looking all messy and fucked out, is that it?” He asked you and you smiled bashfully and nodded.
“Yeah, just a bit.” You hummed back and he smiled.
“Well in that case…” he grinned and grabbed your face and kissed you deeply. You were wearing a red lipstick so you had been very cautious all night to not stain yourself or anything around you, but suddenly Harry was sucking on your bottom lip, surely smearing you and himself with it and when he pulled back he grinned and just swiped his thumb carefully around  your lips and the corners of your mouth. Harry’s mouth was stained all over as well and you giggled as you reached up and did the same, but seeing as his skin was bare, the color had stained his skin directly and it left behind a slight deep pink stain. “Get me again.” He said softly and you looked into his eyes.
“You sure?” You asked and he nodded.
“But my neck. Leave a mark yeah?” He said lowly and you bit your lip pensively, “M’all yours my love, please.” He requested.
“OK, but while you finish fucking me.” You said and his smile widened and he nodded in agreement and ran his hands up your thighs to reach your thong.
“Lift up a bit.” He said quietly and you did so to allow him to slip it to the side and guide his erection back towards your entrance. You rocked your hips forward to help get him inside and you moaned in relief when he was lodged deep inside of you once again. He smiled down at you and brought one of his hands to your breast and squeezed it before brushing his thumb over your nipple as he started to rock into you. “Deep like before?” He asked and you nodded quickly and he grinned, “Liked that?” He asked quietly and you smiled timidly.
“Yeah, baby.” You agreed, “Want to be able to feel it for days.” You said and he moaned and delivered one sharp thrust into you. He watched your eyebrows crease together at the dull ache from his cock ramming into your cervix again.
“S’that good for you, baby?”
“Yeah, more please.” You hummed and he kept going like that. He wasn’t going fast, just hard and deep. It was making your tummy swarm with butterflies and your hands pulled him down so that you could latch your lips to his neck. You kissed and sucked at his skin, leaving behind a love bite as he plunged deep into you.
“Fuck baby, m’getting close. Get your clit for me, please. Want you to come with me.” He panted and you did as he asked and quickly got your fingers into your bottoms and started to rub in time with his thrusts. You started to squirm a bit as the pleasure started to extend beyond the pit of your stomach. Your legs were tightening around him as you whimpered his name. “Oh god…oh fuck, baby y-you’re gonna make me come!” He grunted as he started to lose his rhythm, “Look at me, Y/N. Right at me, baby.” He mumbled and you pulled away from his neck to lock eyes with his and his brows furrowed as he shook his head, “So fucking perfect.” He complimented you, “Gonna stuff you full.” 
You swallowed thickly and your jaw went slack as your body started to tremble with your impending orgasm. You gasped for air and fought to keep your eyes on his as your toes started to curl and the fire started to spread from your belly all throughout your body.
“I’m coming!” You gasped as you started to whither around his cock. The last thing you saw was Harry smiling before your eyes squeezed shut. And then he started to thrust into you so fast, chasing his own release. He kept colliding with your g-spot and it was making your withering orgasm turn into another one. You could hear him groaning and feel his warmth filling you up as he came inside you, but you started to rub your clit faster until your walls were pulsing around his cock again in another orgasm that had you moaning loudly without any regard for where you were or who could be around. You were just seeing white behind your closed eyelids as this one hit you even harder than the first.
“Shit…shit, baby! Oh fuck, baby!” He gasped in sensitivity but you locked your legs around him and held him in you as you relished in your second orgasm. Your ears were ringing and your entire body was shivering in ecstasy. You could hear him laughing a bit, fighting through the intense sensitivity of still being buried to the hilt inside of your hot and throbbing walls. You were both panting, trying to catch your breaths and come down from that. You just held each other in silence for a bit and you gently rubbed at his back as he hugged you close. “You really are the best gift I could’ve ever asked for, baby.” He said quietly and you smiled and craned your neck up to kiss his jaw. He let you go and you pulled back from each other and then reached for his jaw, ready to wipe off the faint kiss mark you’d left on him there and he pulled his neck back out of your reach and you grinned, “Gonna show it off too.” He said and you smiled.’
“OK, baby.” You said, clearly giddy with his decision to have him wearing your lipstick print on his skin.
“Are you having a nice time?”
“Oh yeah! Everyone is so nice. I’m having a really good time. We should get back down there actually, maybe do some of the games?”
“Yeah.” He hummed but made no effort to pull out of you just yet, “I love you so much. Too much.” He said softly as he ran his thumb over your cheek bone and you leaned into his touch.
“Too much?” You questioned through a giggle and he chuckled and nodded.
“Yeah, like sometimes s’too much for my body. Like, it feels like I can’t breathe.” He explained with a smile and you grabbed his face and pecked his lips quickly.
“So I take your breath away?” You whispered and his smile widened as he huffed out a laugh.
“Yeah, I guess you do, baby.” He hummed. “Do I take your breath away?” He asked and you grinned and shook your head. This made Harry pout and you smiled at him.
“It’s worse than that!” You said through your smile.
“Is it? Tell me then.” He hummed before quickly pecking the tip of your nose.
“You know how when the vampires can over hypnotize someone in What We Do In The Shadows?” You asked and he nodded, “And the person gets the “brain scramblies”?” You said and he chuckled, “That’s what you do to me. Makes my brain feel all fuzzy and staticky. Can only think about you and nothing else.” You finished and he was smiling wide.
“That’s cute, baby. But I think not breathing is worse. Therefore, I love you more.” He said and you smiled.
“Actually, you’re wrong. Your brain is what technically gives you life. It holds the information that makes you breathe on instinct. It’s your command center. Without it you wouldn’t be able to function at all! And somehow, you’re so entangled in mine that I know your mood just by the greeting you use when-” he interrupted you with his lips attaching themselves to yours in a deep and sensual kiss. Your heart fluttered and it felt like time stopped for a few seconds. After a few perfect and tense moments you pulled back and your eyes blinked open and your gazes locked, “-come home at night.” You finished and he smiled.
“I definitely love you more.” He said.
“Harry?”
“Yeah, baby?” He asked with a smile.
“Ummm, I’m ready.” You said and he looked at you with confusion for a second, “To take the next step with you.” You said and his brows furrowed as he took in what you said. “You’re the love of my life. I don’t want to live a single day without you by my side.” You said sincerely.
Harry couldn’t contain his joy and he just pulled you into his arms once again and you exhaled against him, so happy and relieved to have finally told Harry something that had been on your heart since a few days after your conversion about your future. You were so proud of yourself for just listening to your intuition when it came to this decision. After a few moments of just holding each other he pulled back and gently grabbed your face in his hands. His eyes bore into yours, looking into them so sincerely you could feel his emotions radiating off of him in waves  and he smiled wide and kissed you deeply until you both couldn’t breathe.
In this moment it felt like you were the only two people in the world; even with the gorgeous cityscape bustling with life behind you, it felt like the world was all yours. You hadn’t experienced happiness with another person like you did with him. You guys made each other better and that was the point, wasn’t it? To be with someone who helped you be your best. So when your parents inevitably asked over the holidays what your goals were with each other you two could tell them with certainty that you were going to start a life together soon. Every part of you felt alight and you couldn’t wait to get started in planning your future together. Your kiss ended and he sighed and gazed deeply into your eyes.
“Oh baby, I’m gonna do everything I can to make you so, so happy.” Harry said softly but with a conviction you felt transferring into you as well. You smiled at this and squeezed him just a bit tighter.
“You already do, baby.” You assured him happily.
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