#And the reasoning for why stuff happened the way it did is just.

[bbydoll18xx]

An Inch Away From More Than Just Friends

Paige Bueckers x reader

Your ex-boyfriend is quite literally the smallest man who ever lived, and Paige is there to pick up the pieces

Themes: Heavy smut, angst, happy ending <3, friends to lovers

Word count: 3k

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“And you deserve prison, BUT. YOU. WON’T. GET. TIME!” you scream-sing, each word punctuated with a hand slapping the table loudly. Tears fall down your face and you let out a ragged breath, attempting to quell your rage and anguish.

Your stupid ass, idiot of a boyfriend, Connor, had cheated on you with some tramp from Florida, of all places. And he had subsequently dumped you over text, attaching a picture of the girl sucking his cock.

You wanted to murder him. Slowly. With a knife. 

Here you sat, though, after the shock of that text message wore off, sobbing at your kitchen table to Taylor Swift. Your life felt like a terrible sitcom. 

He was your first boyfriend. You didn't really date much in high school. The boys were immature and gross, and the girls were too intimidating to approach in a flirty way. You just wanted to feel wanted, sick of constantly being the third wheel with your friends.

Despite getting broken up with out of the blue, you knew why Connor had done it. It was the reason for your countless arguments you had suffered through the last year.

Paige Bueckers.

Paige was your best friend, and Connor had absolutely loathed her from the moment you had introduced the two blondes. 

Your boyfriend had always been slightly possessive; it was one of the things that had initially attracted you to him. You had always craved an intense and all consuming love, and at first, you had thought you'd gotten that. But fate was tempted as you and Paige grew closer.

As the song you’ve had on repeat restarts for the hundredth time, you recall your last argument. It wasn’t difficult considering it happened just a few days ago. 

You and Paige were hanging out in your apartment like you did frequently. Laying side by side on your bed, a movie played on the TV, sending flickering lights through the dark room. You were both exhausted from the week, but each other’s presence produced a calm energy that washed over all of the stress you had been feeling.

Your legs are tangled up with Paige’s, and your head is nestled in the crook of her neck. The movie is long forgotten, as you relish in the presence of your best friend. She hums in content at your closeness, enjoying your company just as much as you.

You can actually feel your heart cry, realizing that you couldn’t get any closer to the blonde girl. 

You had been having several realizations the last few months: Your fondness for UConn’s favorite star was more than just friendly. Unfortunately, you were pretty sure that Connor had also picked up on this. And if this helpless little crush of yours continued, you’d be in deep shit. 

Contemplating your situation, Paige nudges into you, catching your attention. 

“I can literally hear the wheels in your head turning. Whatcha thinkin’ about, baby?” Paige teases softly.

Baby. 

Your heart flutters, as it always did when she called you little pet names.

You shrug, the movement slightly jostling Paige.

“Just dealing with some stuff,” you mumble, a feeble attempt to minimize what you were feeling. It's not like you could tell her anyway.

Before Paige can goad you into revealing more, the door to your bedroom is ripped open, hitting the wall with a slam and reverberating through the apartment. 

“I fucking knew it!” Connor shouted, pointing at you and Paige. His face was screwed up into an ugly expression of contempt.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Paige yells back, as you simultaneously shout, “Connor you can't just barge in here. That’s so fucking rude.”

“Stay away from my girlfriend, you nasty, little bitch,” Connor sneers meanly. Paige’s eyebrows furrow at this, standing in front of him to look him in the eye.

You try to stifle a laugh as Paige gets in your boyfriend’s face; she was two inches taller than him, and she never let him forget it. 

“I don’t know about ‘little,’” she retorts with a smug expression on her face.

Enraged, Connor spins around, stomping out of the room, kicking your couch on his childish rampage out.

Your breathing is irregular as you try to slow your heart rate. Sobs are already bubbling up inside your chest, threatening to seep through the cracks that Connor had left once more. 

Paige pulls you into her lap, cradling you against her chest in a desperate attempt to comfort you. Little did she know, her touch was all you really needed. 

You are pulled back into the present, feeling empty without Paige. Tears roll down your cheeks and your bottom lip wobbles. You felt like you were never really present anymore; walking through life in a daydream. Pictures of Paige constantly filled your brain, and you knew the unrequited feelings would be much more painful than the harsh termination of your and Connor’s relationship. 

Fuck. You were down bad. 

You take to your couch with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Those were two guys you knew would never fail you. You allow yourself to rot the day away. Episode after episode plays, but you are barely paying attention. You feel like screaming, the feeling of desperation wrestling with your typical sense of composure. 

Your vision slides over to the top of your fridge, where an impressive amount of alcohol sits.

‘Perfect. I can't pine when I’m black out drunk,’ you think miserably. 

You were so, so wrong. 

An hour later you were dancing around in nothing but one of Paige’s shirts and your underwear, using a large bottle of tequila as a microphone. You were usually a quiet roommate, but the empty apartment was the perfect excuse to let out all the emotions you had been holding in for months. 

You were so engrossed in your performance, you miss Paige walking in. When you finally turn to face her in a dramatic spin, hair flying everywhere, you gasp in shock. 

Paige is grinning. “Havin’ fun, babe?” she questions, clearly amused by your drunken antics.

You were too inebriated to feel embarrassed, and you nod with a bright smile. You thrust the bottle towards the blonde, encouraging her to join in your fun. 

“Oh, what the hell,” Paige concedes, taking the bottle and lifting it up to her mouth in a way that had you suddenly feeling sticky. 

She was sinful when she was drunk. It was not your fault that you wanted the clingy Paige that accompanied large amounts of alcohol. 

You spend the next hour taking turns sipping from the bottle, enjoying the feverish burning in your belly that follows each swallow. It doesn’t take much time for Paige to catch up to you, and you know she’s tipsy once she pulls you into her lap and starts drawing shapes onto your thighs. A quiet moan escapes from your lips at her touch; her fingers were fucking magic. 

You turn to face Paige, straddling her on your couch. The tequila in your system was making you bolder than the blonde was accustomed to you being, but she welcomed it. Now face to face, with nothing but your flimsy panties in between Paige’s muscular leg and your slick center, you gaze at her with heavy lidded eyes.

She was so pretty, and her eye contact made you bashful. Breaking away from the heat of those blue eyes, you wrap your arms around her neck in a huge hug, causing Paige to let out a small chuckle at your affection.

You were nothing if not candor whilst drunk, so Paige is hardly surprised when you slur, “Connor hated how I look at you. That’s why he broke up with me.”

Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, Paige murmurs, “How do you look at me?”

“Like you hung the fuckin’ moon,” you sigh dreamily, the tequila making you feel warm and fuzzy.

“Oh, really, baby?” Paige questions, her voice growing deeper as you tilt your hips against her thigh once more in an attempt to feel some relief. Her presence was overwhelming your senses, and there was fire deep in your abdomen that was raging.

 You forget to respond to her, too distracted from the way her leg felt so damn good against your clothed pussy. Attempting to lessen some of the desire building up inside you, you experimentally roll your hips, letting out a lustful whine as you realize how good it feels. 

Paige is momentarily stunned at your boldness before she grabs your chin, tilting it up to meet her eyes that were full of want. Your pupils are blown, the irises just a small ring at this point, and she questions if you really want to do this. 

Well obviously.

You nod your head, unsure if you had any words in you to describe just how badly you wanted Paige to fuck you.

“Baby, use your words,” Paige drawls. The huskiness of the term of endearment has you panting, and you struggle to moan out a “Yes, please just fuck me, P.”

That was all Paige needed. She places her hands underneath your ass, and lifts you up, carrying you towards your bedroom. You wrap your legs around her toned figure and meet her lips in a searing kiss. 

In a second, it feels like all the shittiness has evaporated away, leaving you feeling reborn and renewed. Paige was a fucking drug to you, and you needed another hit. 

Setting you down on your bed, Paige wastes no time stripping you of your oversized t-shirt, leaving you in your cotton panties that were now completely soaked. She swirls two fingers across the drenched fabric, smirking to herself that she was able to have such an effect on you. You whine at her deliberate actions and pout like a child who wasn’t getting their way. Paige laughs at your desperation and kisses the pout right off of your lips, licking into your mouth with fervor. 

You tug at her shirt, wanting her to be as bare as you were, and she quickly slips it over her head, throwing it onto the floor. There was still an imbalance of clothing between the two of you, and you finger the waistband of Paige’s sweatpants, wanting to see every bit of her. 

Shaking her head fondly at your blatant lack of shame, she gets off of the bed and shimmies out of her pants, leaving her in just a sports bra and those boxers you loved a little too much. From where you were still sitting on the bed, you shamelessly let your eyes rake over her toned figure. She was stunning, and you felt pride well up inside you, knowing you were finally going to have sex with the tall blonde.

It almost made the years of pining worth it. 

“This better?” Paige asks, gesturing towards her body, and you giggle in response. 

She climbs back onto the bed, a knee placed between your parted thighs and presses it against your soaked heat. You let out another loud moan at the contact, and your back arches off the bed from the pleasure. 

There are no thoughts in your tipsy, drunk-in-love brain, and it shows. You’re mumbling in tangents, now, pleading with Paige to do more. 

She finally concedes and goes to take off your panties. She’s being a little tease, slowly dragging them down your legs, while keeping intense eye contact with you. You are pretty sure the act makes your pussy drip even more. 

Placing a leg over her shoulder, Paige opens you up and takes a second to admire the gleaming wet folds that were hers and only hers. You tremble under her stare, feeling deliciously vulnerable in a way that makes you want to submit to her every whim. 

She inches closer to your pussy, pressing hot kisses all along your inner thighs. You revel in the buildup of it, trying to avoid being pushy. To no avail, your hips jut forward, slightly humping the air in an attempt to get some release. 

Coming back up to nip your earlobe playfully, Paige whispers sensually, “Gotta be a good girl for me.” 

You try to respond, but her use of the phrase ‘good girl’ makes the words catch in your throat. She resumes her kisses, trailing them down your throat to your chest, where she takes a detour in favor of showing your pretty, peaked nipples some attention. 

Another whine leaves your lips like a prayer, as Paige leaves love bites over your tits. That would look like a damn masterpiece in the morning, and you’re already planning to take a Polaroid picture of you topless, covered in Paige’s hickeys. 

Finally, she trails back down your stomach, fingers ghosting over your skin and leaving behind thousands of goosebumps in their wake. Your skin felt like it was on fire. 

“Please, Paigey. Need you, baby,” you whimper brokenly, begging for some respite from the torturous teasing. 

Paige gives in, dying to taste to you, and she licks a fat stripe on your pussy, starting at your dripping hole and ending in a tantalizing circle at your clit. Your hands fly to her head, trying not to pull at her hair too much. 

She inserts her middle finger into you, drawing another slutty moan from your lips as she pumps into you vigorously. 

There really is no way to describe just how good she is making you feel. The past six months of sex with Connor had been passionless and repetitive. You didn’t think you’d ever be able to go without this again. 

Paige inserts another finger in your pussy with a smirk and continues to pummel them against your g-spot. The pressure in the pit of your belly was already building, and you knew it wouldn’t be long until you exploded. Paige had taken a break from eating you out to kiss you once more, wanting you to taste your sweet wetness on her lips. It was possibly the hottest thing you had ever done, and the act pushes you closer to the finish line. 

“Gonna cum, Paigey,” you moan wantonly, your thighs twitching and your back arching once more. The tequila in your system causing you to act especially debauched. 

Paige loves it. 

“C’mon, baby. Be a good girl and cum for me,” she moans in response against your soaked pussy, and you fall apart instantaneously. 

High pitched whines and moans fill your bedroom as Paige continues thrusting her fingers in and out of you, slowing down as you ride out your high. If it wasn’t for the alcohol, you would be embarrassed with yourself, but there was no thought of that. 

You needed to taste Paige. 

Once Paige pulls out of you, licking her fingers off as if she was starved, you reattach your lips feverishly. You taste so good, but you are dying to know what she tastes like, and without warning, you strip the rest of her clothes off. 

She lays her head on your mountain of pillows, blonde hair fanning in all directions. You can see the heaving of her chest, already anticipating your touch. Her lips are swollen in a way that’s positively sinful, and you think you’ve never seen anyone look as beautiful as Paige does right now. 

Straddling her, you lean in to suck at the soft skin underneath her left ear, pulling out moan after moan that went right to your still-buzzing pussy. 

Trailing down to her tits, you knead one before attaching your hot mouth to the other, swirling your tongue around it and then nipping it experimentally. 

“Fuck, babe. Please. Can’t do more teasing,” Paige grits out, trying to maintain some semblance of control. 

Just as yours had, Paige’s hips squirm, and you grin up at her. You press kisses across her toned abdomen, mentally noting that her abs would be nice to ride another time, and finally settle at the opening of her legs. 

Spreading her open, you gaze upon her glistening wetness momentarily before diving in. You could not possibly wait another second to taste her. 

You two both moan at the contact, sending muffled vibrations against Paige’s pussy that brings forth a second, louder groan of pleasure. 

Wanting to make her feel so, so good, you plunge two fingers into her sopping wetness, while flicking the tip of your tongue across her clit repeatedly without ceasing. 

It had been awhile since you had eaten another girl out, but it came back to you immediately; it was like riding a bike. 

Paige’s moans fill the room, and you think you could die there happily. You’re unrelenting. The combination of three of your fingers and that lavicious tongue of yours soon has Paige panting out, “fuck, baby. I’m gonna cum.” 

She rides out her orgasm, switching between moaning your name and naughty words that have you immediately wanting to do a second round. 

You pull your fingers out of her wetness, making a show of licking them off in front of her before meeting her in an erotic kiss.

You lay back on your pillows, stifling your sighs and calming the beat of your heart from what you had just done with your best friend. You look over at her, hoping and praying that the sex you just had wouldn’t ruin your friendship. 

Paige bites her lip, in a not so great attempt at hiding a smile, and pecks you on the lips. “That was way better than that fuckhead, Connor, right?” She was smug as hell. But she was not wrong.

“Considering his dick was three inches, uh yeah,” you laugh. “But joking aside, you were amazing.”

“Just glad I could make my girl feel better,” she replies.

“I’m your girl?” you ask, cheeks ablaze in a fiery heat of desire.

“You are now,” Paige chuckles, interlocking your pinkies together in an earnest proclamation of affection. 

You were hers, and she was yours. 

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers x reader #uconn huskies #uconn wbb #uconn women’s basketball #paige #friends to lovers #angst #smut #wlw #paige bueckers x you

[alexwilltellyouthings]

Ok I have so many thoughts about painland ending up canon or not and I. Just.

Listen I AGREE that their bond goes beyond being romantic or not. It's obvious, it's beautiful, I love it and I love them and their friendship and I truly do think it is important that media has this kind of relationship portrayed.

But.

But.

I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be disappointed if it doesn't turn romantic. It involves a lot of things.

1: I want Edwin to have that. He'll still be happy without it, yes, but god can't he have that? He's been through so much. He had a speedrun through his sexuality issues and confessed in hell. Like wtf. Can't he have that???

2. Bisexual Charles would actually be so important to me. And yeah he can be bi and not in love with Edwin but come on lol. The thing is, there's not many bi men in media. Even less bi men figuring out their bisexuality. Even less bi men figuring out their sexuality when they were raised in the 80s and knowing their best friend is in love. Do you see how many layers exist here? How amazing his story could be? Charles has so much we still don't know about him. And yes, I would like that one of those things could be something I relate to. Besides trauma. Call me selfish. And like he's so bisexual coded it would be offensive for him to be straight I'm sorry.

3. They exist in other universes. Let them be platonic there. Let them be romantic this one time.

4. I know falling in love with a straight person is a very common story and I don't think it's wrong for it to happen in a show, but honestly, it's not what I sign up for when I'm watching queer stuff. Think Our Flag Means Death. It probably changed my brain chemistry because anything less than that gets really hard to swallow. I know, we all have queerbaiting trauma, and I know this wouldn't be the case, and it never claimed to be something as queer as OFMD. But I got so attached that... Well, I wouldn't stop watching if this happens, but it wouldn't sit well with me. It's a bitter feeling, you know?

5. They didn't have anything be explicit, but come on, they did set us up. Charles got jealous at Monty, and only Monty, for that matter. I wouldn't say his thing with the Cat King is necessarily jealousy, more like protectiveness, but that can be disputable. And both George and Jayden said more than once that Charles' response to the confession let things open. So I mean if that door wasn't closed, then please don't close it now! The road until things happen can be long, dramatic, tortuous, whatever, there's many ways to tell a love story. But if I'm sitting for it, then I don't want to get shot in the face later on (unless it's for plot reasons which ok).

6. Have I mentioned that bisexual Charles

Anyway I feel kinda bad for wishing so much they get romantic because I see and agree with the whole platonic discourse. But yeah those are all the reasons why I can't stop myself. Have a good day everyone

#dead boy detectives #dbd #edwin paine #edwin payne #charles rowland #payneland #painland #chedwin

[egcdeath]

hello hello how are u!!?

i’ve been rereading a few of ur fics hehe i just wanna say that i love ur writing omfg like yes plz i wanna eat the words

ok ok so i’d love to know ur thoughts on a bully!patrick x reader?? he’s just so cocky and i’d love to see what would happen if he pushed *juuuuuust* a bit further…

maybe it’s their college years and he is practically jeering and ragging at the reader while she’s at her sports practice. i think patrick would like the way her face scrunches up in anger, but she ignores him because she knows better than to go back and forth due to his quick wit. he’d act like a schoolboy. i think he’d also like getting real up close and personal w her, but never touching. and maybe he’d even go as far as to pull at her hair. “accidentally”. hooooooo boy, and the sexual undertones within it all. reasons seemingly unknown, but i believe he just has a crush on the reader, he’s being a hellish brat about it.

and reader enjoys is cuz patrick has a certain charm and he’s just so irresistible xxx but sometimes she wishes he was nicer to her but also where’s the fun in that?? and at certain times maybe he shows that he cares about her…like omg my heart

…ok i am so sorry for rambling i did NOT expect to go into such detail and also sorry if it’s a little corny😭😭😭 anyway, you don’t necessarily have to write headcanons or a fic, i more so would just love to hear ur thoughts on it, the whole bully aspect is really interesting (and hot) to me 🫢 ok again sorry for writing a whole novel in here hope ur having a good day! ur most recent fic was [chefs kiss] and im excited to read what u have cooking up x

omg i absolutely LOVE this concept!! what i immediately thought of was patrick and the reader being in very similar tennis circles (idk how tennis works so lets just assume that they're playing at similar events and reader is obviously playing w women) and like, at first, you cannot stand this man at all. like he always seems to find you before you play, or at your hotel after you've played, or at parties for the players, and he ALWAYS has something to say. a comment on your technique. a snide remark on how you played that day. a taunt about how you're never gonna beat the opponent you're playing against that day.

but the thing is... in a way, his bullying kinda helps you perform better? like he gets you so riled up and feeling so spiteful that you goes out onto the court and demolishes whoever you're playing against. so in a way it's kinda helpful... but also fucking annoying.

and like, at first you try to go back and forth with him but you literally never win the verbal spars so one day you just give up. and also part of you knows that he doesn't genuinely mean it?? maybe he even knows that his pestering is helpful to you and maybe thats why he does it?? but he is being an annoying pest regardless and you can't deal with him buzzing around your ear all the time and getting in your head before you play. so you just stop entertaining it.

but once you stop entertaining it, he gets kinda worried. like you've had this thing going on for a while and now suddenly you just don't care anymore. so now his gibes turn into questioning you CONSTANTLY. are you seeing someone? are you planning something?? what changed?? and when that doesn't work out for him he starts being nice to you. and thats when you start getting worried. i think this would make them have to admit their feelings to each other then BOOM happily ever after!!

i loveee this idea and it was so fun to think about! i'm usually a little iffy about bullying stuff buttt i could totally see it working in this context.

#patrick zweig x reader #patrick zweig x you #patrick zweig #art donaldson x reader #josh o'connor x reader #challengers

[shoyudon]

𝐁𝐈𝐆 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐎𝐍, 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐎𝐍 .ᐟ

starring. toji fushiguro x fem! reader

heads up. cursing, toji being soft as hell, let's just say he's not an assassin and he lives a (fairly) good life with you.

note. toji's shown too much of a cold, hard, and stern guy in the few times he's been on screen. i feel like he's privately clingy — and he likes being the small spoon. just a thought.

"hey, baby," you sighed out in exhaustion — dropping your bag onto the bed where toji was laid on, "i feel like 'm going to pass out soon."

toji grunted, but he sat up straight, eyeing your every move, "your boss is shit. that's why you need to quit and just sit still here at home," he mutters out, stretching his limbs.

"and who's going to pay for my stuff?" you ask, taking off your socks and throwing them inside the laundry basket just by the bathroom door — you unbuttoned your light blue flannel shirt, slipping it off in a rush before throwing the fabric inside the same basket.

"me. i work too." he scoffs.

"i know, i just don't feel great knowing my stuff was bought from the money coming out of my boyfriend's pocket," toji shifted on the bed, kicking the covers off of him.

he blew his bangs in annoyance, "so? 'ts not like 'm complaining, i want to do it."

smiling, you gave him a knowing look, "i know— 'ts just . . . i know i can buy my own stuff, you can save your money, for your own stuff. i don't want everything i have to come from your money, i feel awful," mumbling whilst swiping a wet cotton over the skin of your face, letting the make up seep in.

"your stuff is mine too," he steps behind you, taking a good look at what you're doing, "so stop thinking of shit like that."

"like what?" you nonchalantly asked.

toji rolled his eyes, grabbing your waist and proceeded to toss you onto the bed. with a soft thud, you landed — staring at him oddly, "why did you do that?"

"no reason." he mutters, crawling towards you before placing himself in front of you sideways; your chest pressing onto his back, "quit the damn work. you have a shit boss, shit co-workers, and shit work." small spoon.

slinging an arm around his neck and a leg draped over his torso, you chuckled softly, burying your nose into his hair, "you know i can't do that, right?" big spoon.

his body vibrated, signaling a groan out, "why the hell not?"

"come on, where else am i going to get my money from?" toji laced his fingers with your own, squeezing your hand tightly and then loosening his grip before tightening it back again — on repeat, "i know, baby. but what else am i going to do at home without you, hm?"

"i could care less about my shit work too." he spat out, bringing your hand to his lips.

"and then where are we going to live? pay rent? eat food?" you asked, voice lacing with amusement, "or how are we going to eat in our go-to without money, huh?"

toji huffs out softly, "as long as i'm homeless with you, i guess."

"you're silly, you know?" you squeezed his hand this time, although not as tightly as he did before, "but it all comes back to my first answer, 'm still not quitting my work."

toji shifted a bit, pressing his back onto your chest more, "can't stop ya', can i?"

"nope," he sighs out softly in response to the curt answer — which he expected, by the way.

"you're stubborn."

"right back at you," you murmur out into his hair, patting his chest a few times before consistently rubbing up and down; toji breathing out in content, "toji, can you move now?"

" . . . why?" he asks, voice hoarse and slow like he had just woken up.

"i need to shower. i stink," toji didn't budge at all upon hearing your answer. he was one of those people who believed that showers are a bit pointless — which is extra stupid (you think).

"do it tomorrow," he mutters out lazily.

"i wanna do it now, i feel sweaty," and there he goes pretending nothing was ever said; this always happens, especially when you were coddling him, "toji, move."

"no."

"move or you're getting the small spoon ban," toji scoots over a bit in response, letting you move freely as you like; somehow his no talk, action only made you stifle back a laugh, "you're a big baby."

"'m not, the position didn't feel nice or shit." he lies (not so) smoothly.

"right, i'll be back after the shower then we can cuddle again," you stood up, ready to leave when you hear him mumble incoherently under his breath, "what was that?"

"fuck, nevermind."

"right," you narrowed your eyes at him, "i'm going to go then."

just a few steps out of the bedroom door, you turned your heels and peeked your head into the room, "and by the way, yes, you still get to be the small spoon, don't worry."

"i still get to be the small spoon or whatever the fuck you call it, right?" loud and clear.

© shoyudon 2024 . no copying or reposting allowed !

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #fluff #toji fushiguro #toji #toji fluff #toji x reader #toji fushiguro fluff #toji x you #toji x female reader #jjk toji #toji oneshot

[flightfoot]

Idk why alya is more blamed for putting Lila's lies on the ladyblog rather than Lila who was the one that lied in the first place. Like i always see in salt fics someone tells always something like "don't blame Lila for the this, YOU Decided to post the interview" like manipulation is not a thing Apparently? Alya was manipulated to post that, just like the rest of the class (though show has a flimsy writing to begin with but yeah, my point still stands)

Look, saltfics will regularly make up stuff Alya never did in order to demonize her, while just kinda ignoring that the behavior that's being deemed "unacceptable" is something that's ignored for other characters.

Like, just think about all the times Alya's demonized for getting Marinette to babysit for her, with her not paying Marinette or foisting the twins (and Noel, if she's having Marinette babysit while she goes on a date with Nino) off on her. You'll see a massive stink put up about how Alya's shoving the kids off on someone her parents haven't approved, how it's a massive betrayal of trust... but the thing is, we don't really have any evidence of that happening in canon? Nothing indicates that Marinette babysitting the kids for Alya is supposed to be some sort of secret, something that isn't allowed. And as for the pay, we never see ANYONE pay anyone anything for babysitting at any point so far in Miraculous, so that doesn't mean much.

Alya's babysat for Marinette a few times when Marinette was supposed to be babysitting Manon, so it might just be Marinette returning the favor. And as for babysitting someone else's kid without permission, while we don't see any evidence of Alya foisting that on Marinette, you know who DOES do that? Marinette. A couple of times, even. Once in Prime Queen when she accidentally double-booked herself and decided to resolve it by calling Alya over and tricking her into babysitting for her while she did the interview with Nadja (notably, Nadja was disturbed when Alya and Manon called into the show and Marinette was nowhere to be seen), and once in Simple Man, when Marinette scheduled herself to babysit four kids at once, then got a call from Adrien asking for help with his photoshoot, and she shoved the kids off on her grandpa against his will.

(Note: I don't think these things were horrible for Marinette to do, it's pretty common kid stuff. But it's illustrative of a double standard here).

Does any of this get brought up in saltfics? Nope. Because the point of demonizing Alya for shoving off babysitting on Marinette IS NOT to criticize the way the show handles babysitting. If it did, then Marinette would be the one brought up in those fics, not Alya. The point is to demonize Alya in order to justify punishing her. Any excuse is grabbed to do so, regardless of how nonsensical it is when you actually look at the show. There just needs to be a fig leaf of justification for it, that's it.

Back to the interview thing. I don't think "well this character was manipulated" is necessarily enough, it depends on how, exactly, the character was manipulated, what they were told, what they believed, what they were thinking, and how reasonable that thought process was. It's why I don't think "Zhan Tiri manipulated Cass" to be a sufficient explanation for Cass's subsequent attempts at murdering Rapunzel and taking over the kingdom in the Tangled cartoon: what we see of Zhan Tiri's manipulation doesn't track with how off the rails Cass went, with why she thought those actions were justified.

I still don't think demonizing Alya for posting that interview is justified though, because you know what? A 14-year-old girl believing this random new girl about being friends with a celebrity and posting about it on the school blog is not THAT big of a deal, it doesn't showcase anything except maybe some gullibility, which isn't that horrible of a thing for a teenager with limited life experience.

But I don't think the people really demonizing Alya for that, saying she was some horrible person for posting that interview who doesn't deserve to breathe in Marinette's presence and who should be banned from pursuing a career in journalism, are actually just THAT extreme on journalistic ethics, anymore than the people demonizing Alya for things she didn't even do with babysitting are THAT extreme on babysitting ethics. It's just an excuse. A reason is being found to demonize Alya, circumstances and double standards be damned.

#ask #ml fandom salt #leave alya alone challenge

[tumblingxelian]

Chloe Bourgeois - Not a Typical Mean Girl

No, I am not going to sit here and talks about Chloe's family, or issues, or one writers seeming obsession with her. No!

I am here to discuss what I think is a very common misunderstanding about Chloe's character and the show in fandom that often crops up in discussion regarding her.

Namely that the thing Chloe needs most is to be chastised, rejected & punished for her mean behavior, that will sort her out!

As though that wasn't already a thing that happens?

Bear with me and I'll explain that claim first:

The school does not like punishing any students. The only reason Alya was punished for coordinating an effort to break into Chloe's locker is because Chloe threatened the principle. The only reason Marinette was almost expelled was because Lila framed her for cheating, theft & assault all in one day & she still needed to make a scene of the whole affair. There's one teacher that punishes students, but she does so unfairly, cruelly and haphazardly and in season 1, Chloe was not shown getting any special treatment from her. Special treatment from the faculty was not a thing unless we are counting later retcons.

So now that the faculty is out of the way, wat I mean is that Chloe is not a typical mean girl because she is not popular.

In stuff like Mean Girls, Heathers and so on, the usual standard is that the mean girls are mean, but they are also revered, beloved, popular in one way or another despite their horrible behavior.

This is not the case with Chloe.

Even in Season 1 where only Marinette & Nino seems to start the season disliking Chloe. (Her presence unpleasant but hardly traumatic given the Origins level bickering) Chloe was still not widely well liked by the class or school.

She had one friend in Sabrina and a second oh so briefly in Adrien, which did let her absorb some of his celebrity by proximity. But within 48 hours of having him she lost him; with Adrien becoming more distant to divorce himself from her behavior.

That's it and while one can say her haughty attitude and ego are the reason we know from season 2 she is aware everyone hates her & it upsets her.

S1-Chloe did get invited to some class events, but even then her presence was not largely welcomed with most far less prone to be patient with her than they were with others even if they exhibited similar behavior. Such as Kim bullying Ivan, or Nino expressing blatant frustration with Mylene, ETC.

By late season 2 she was pretty much entirely segregated from her peers, barring Sabrina, and her presence welcomed with shades of disinterest, disdain or outright hostility. Sometimes evoked on her part or just in general.

This is a big difference from the usual Mean Girls = Popular Girls trend but I often don't see it acknowledged in fandom discourse.

This especially feels to be the case given so often I see people arguing Chloe "needs" to be rejected, or told her behavior is bad, or that no one likes her... But she is, all the time, she is entirely aware people don't like her and unhappy about it.

The issue is not that her bad behavior is being rewarded in school. The issue is that bad behavior is what she was taught at home and what is encouraged there and what is shown to work for her parents. But it doesn't work for her and she doesn't know why, because no one really bothers to teach her why. hey just get angry and snap at her or ignore her.

& sure you can say its not her peers job to explain morality o empathy to someone who was explicitly taught by their father how to cheat at & win elections by intimidation. But the fact is no one at home is going to do so because they are modelling, encouraging & teaching the opposite up until it impacts 'them' personally.

Not sure if there's a greater point to this, but...

I often find people acting like the thing Chloe needs is for her bad behavior not to be 'rewarded' or 'indulged' by her class and to instead be 'rejected' and for her to face 'consequences'.

But she does! That's basically all she does; & When she doesn't usually an Akuma tries to murder her anyway!

So yeah, Chloe isn't a typical mean girl.

She's actually deeply unpopular among classmates and the school has a discipline issue all over, it didn't come from her.

More negativity is not going to magically make her "better".

#chloe bourgeois #Miraculous Ladybug #Meta #Analysis

[saragarnier]

Away from you

Pairing: jay halstead x reader

Summary: y/n doesn’t know where Jay truly is and she got worried

Warning: angst, slightly smut, cheating,

A/N: i will probably write a part 2, stay tuned!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

You and Jay had been together for three years and everything looked good, at least it was ‘till the end of the march. You didn’t know or understand why he changed his behavior when he was with you, especially since it all happened so quickly and unexpectedly that you just couldn’t understand what happened between you two. From one day, he just started to behave differently, coming home later and telling you that he was just too busy at work, doing some paperwork and getting his things ready for the next shift. He made it looked like he was just trying to impress Voight and for a moment you actually believed him.

You knew how much he wanted to become, one day, sergeant and to be on the lead of his own unit and you just wanted to support him in any ways you could; if he wanted to make a good impression in case of a new sergeant, you wouldn’t have stop him. Actually, it looked like Voight was having some issues lately, from how Jay talked about him after work anyway, and you really trusted him and believed him about his story.

Then, one evening, you decided to go talk with Kim, having some times together and trying to explain to her what you had in mind: Jay’s birthday was closer than you thought and you had to find a good gift for him.

“I need you to help me.” You said to Kim, smiling softly. “Jay’s birthday is in two weeks and i want to surprise him with a two-days holiday. I know that he spends a lot of time at the district doing his paperwork and trying to make a good impression in case of a promotion, but i really need your help. Can you please find a good reason to get him home earlier on Friday’s night?”

Kim was surprised by your statement, not because of the surprise you were preparing for him, but for what you said about him staying at the district till late.

“What do you mean that he spends a lot of time at the district to make a good impression? He always leaves before me, actually he arrives earlier to complete the paperwork he usually leaves at the end of the shift.”

You were confused, you were really confused. What did that mean? If he usually left the district early in the evening, why he came home every night after 11 pm, when you were already sleeping?

“Uhm… he usually doesn’t come home before 11 pm.” You whispered, looking at Kim while your mind raced through all the nights you waited for him to come back home, before falling asleep because of the tiredness of the day at work.

“Y/n, i swear to God that he usually leaves at 7 pm, 8 pm if we’re up to something ‘till late.” Kim said, looking sadly at you, while something you didn’t want to admit passed through her mind.

“But… it doesn’t make sense.” You replied, shaking your head slightly. “What does he do between 7 pm and 11 pm then?”

The girl just shook his head, looking ad you sadly and placing her hand on yours, trying to reassure you in some ways. “Maybe it’s not something you have to worry about, maybe it’s just some stuff he had to do or, maybe, it’s just a bad moment for him. I remember he was like this when he suffered from PTSD.”

You nodded, but it didn’t make sense anyway. You remembered when Jay suffered from PTSD because you were always by his side, you were always there for him and you followed him step after step, trying to help him find his way out of it. It couldn’t be PTSD that time, you would have noticed immediately.

He wasn’t distressed like he was when he suffered from it, he was actually really happy and he was usually calm when he came back home.

It could be PTSD, but what was it then?”

“Sorry Kim, i have to go.” You whispered, looking at your phone and finding out it was just 9:30 pm; you had still plenty of time before he could have been home and you wanted to find out what was happening with your boyfriend, actually with your future husband.

“Don’t worry darling, it’s okay.” Kim whispered, smiling at you. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? Maybe you can come at the district one day and we can talk a little? Also Adam and Kevin missed you, you know. With all the preparations of the wedding, we didn’t see you around in a while.”

“Yeah, when i’m not at work at the hospital, i’m around the city trying some white dresses.” You sighed, wearing your jacket and placing some money on the table, paying for your own drink.

“I can imagine that. Don’t worry, really. I hope to see you again soon.” She smiled softly at you.

“I hope that too. Bye Kim, goodnight.”

You left the bar just ten minutes after and you immediately called the one and only that could have tracked Jay’s phone without a word: Mouse.

When he came back from the army, for the second time, you knew that it would have been difficult for him to start a new life again, especially after the first time. Jay helped him and, after some weeks in which he tried to convince him every single day, Mouse accepted to come back at the intelligence as a tech. It wasn’t an easy decision for him and it was strange at first, but he knew he had no better option and working with his friend was something he missed a lot.

He picked up the phone after the second ring.

“Hi! Look who showed up!” He smiled and laughed. “I was actually asking myself when you would have called me to give me the official invite to your wedding, you know? I would have asked Jay, but he i’m pretty sure is not as much involved in the preparations as you are, so…”

“Mouse, i need your favor.” You told him straight away. “I can’t find Jay and I’m worried. Can you please track his phone and tell where he is? And, can you do that without anyone knowing it?”

It was a strange request, especially since it went from you, but Mouse got it immediately and he started to track Jay’s phone straight away. He was actually scared for his friend, he was scared that Jay got into real trouble, maybe with the ptsd or something liked that, but there was no time for questions. He tracked his phone and he gave her the address after only three minutes.

“Thank you, Mouse. Sorry if i interrupted your evening. I have to go now and, don’t worry, I’ll handle the invite in person, okay?” You said, getting inside the car while looking at the address Mouse gave to you. It could be true, why was he there?

“Don’t worry, no problem at all. I’ll leave you now, i guess you’re busy… just, tell me if anything happened to him, okay?” He replied, making sure that everything was okay, making sure that you would have called him in case of trouble.

“I will, thanks Mouse.”

When he hung up, you started the car and you drove to the location he sent you; why the hell was Jay at his old apartment? Didn’t he sell it?

When you arrived at the location, you parked the car and you got out as soon as you could, going up the stairs and reaching his door just few minutes after. Fortunately, you still knew where he used to hide the key and you went for it, opening the door as silently as you could. The first thing you noticed when you entered was the emptiness of the room: there was nothing there other than some furnishings and still you didn’t understand why Jay was there.

Then, you noticed it.

Then, you noticed them: heels and they weren’t yours.

Your mouth became dry and you stopped breathing properly, trying to find an explanation for what you were seeing. You took some steps forward and your eyes fell on the jeans and t-shirts that were on the floor, all the way up to what it was Jay’s bedroom before he moved out. You took the hallway, starting to hear voices, moans you didn’t want to hear, moans you just wanted to be from your neighbors, even if you knew that they were elderly and it couldn’t have been them. Just at the front of the door, you saw them: panties and Jay’s boxer.

Your brain stopped working, you stopped breathing and your heart almost stopped beating; you just couldn’t understand what was happing, you couldn’t believed it.

You zoned out, like you couldn’t have been there, like you were just in a dream, a bad dream, a really bad one, then you came back to reality when you actually saw and hear them.

“Oh, Jay.” She moaned, begging him. “Please, faster.”

Hailey.

Jay’s partner.

“God, Hails…” Your boyfriend moaned, lowering himself on her to kiss her breast while fucking her. “I… shit… you feel so good around me.”

“Oh, J-Jay!” She moaned louder, unaware of your presence on the frame of the door, where you were watching them, without breathing.

Jay took Hailey’s legs and he put it on his own shoulder, increasing the pace.

“Yes, cum around me, baby. Cum for me, i love you.”

Surprisingly. It wasn’t watching him fucking her that destroyed you: it was his last three words, the same three words he said to you every morning before going to work, the same three words he said to you on the phone when he was to busy at work to come home, even if he was actually heading to his old apartment, when he was able to fuck his partner whenever he wanted to.

You stepped back silently, to broken to face the truth, to heart broken to face him.

You stepped back and you left without saying a word, without make noise; you went back inside your car and only then, when Hailey’s and Jay’s moans were far away from you, you started breathing again.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks from minutes probably, but you couldn’t notice it before and you were to shocked to dry off your tears: you just wanted to add as many distance as you could between you and the man you thought was the love of your life.

You didn’t even went back to your apartment, you couldn’t have handle being again in the house that would have been yours,the house in which you hoped you would have started a family with Jay. You didn’t go back to your apartment to collect all your belongings, you just left.

You left a message to your boss’ office regarding your resignation and you drove away.

Away from Jay.

Away from your apartment.

Away from the life you dreamed of with him.

Away from the love.

Away from the pain.

Away from Chicago.

#chicago med #oneshot #fluff #angst #chicago pd #fanfic #jay halstead #chicago fire #adam ruzek #hailey upton #x reader #chicago #one chicago #hank voight #kim burgess #kevin atwater #jay halstead x reader #smut #sad thoughts #breakup #mouse #greg gerwitz

[lilacxquartz]

Those Late Summer Nights | Chapter 7

Satoru Gojo × Fem! Reader × Suguru Geto

This is a dark/yandere fic that features upsetting themes and it is canon divergent. Updated every Wednesday.

About:

You moved to Tokyo over the summer to take a teaching job. As you get settled in, you find yourself entangled in a toxic dynamic.

Chapter Summary:

Satoru teaches you to tolerate a place you dislike.

Trigger Warning:

Unaware reader while Satoru does something he really shouldn’t.

Previous Chapter.

7. Starry Skies

There was just a little extra something humiliating about being back in your old bedroom at your old house again; these four walls that were once both your comfort but also your prison had been left perfectly untouched with the help of your mother preserving it just as you had left it—a space locked in time, a haunting reminder of who you once were.

You grew uncomfortable at such a prospect as it was likely going to continue down that road for many more years to come, with or without your friends to help you through each and every single visit.

This room in particular once housed the person you didn’t want to be, after all, providing you a temporary shell for you to hermit inside of whenever you made your bed in it; you weren’t her anymore, but also you were her at some point.

Your eyes squeezed shut as you tried succumbing to sleep to quickly pass this whole thing by, but you were used to much later bedtimes by now and we’re left staring off into the dark as slumber failed to take you under. The clock barely hit 9 in the night and you were left lying wide awake feeling restless and frustrated.

It was then that you reached for your phone, knowing that pretty much everyone else would be up at least. The texts did take their sweet time to deliver though; the spotty reception driving you just a little over the edge, making you more irritable than you had to be.

It was something about this place, that was the reason why, you were sure of it.

Shoko was the first priority in your texting queue, updating her with just about everything that had happened so far as she continued to approve of how Satoru was behaving, assuring you that he knows his stuff when it comes to unfair parents and that you have nothing to worry about.

It was a lighthearted moment of checking in, her texts half mocking you ‘goodnight’ as she had to continue to study while reminding you of the plum wine.

Suguru was next in queue, just to see if he was still going through whatever it was that made him feel so distant but he never replied. He always had his phone on him so you felt a little more hurt than usual knowing that he likely read your message but never bothered to reply.

Satoru was the next in line either way as you were a little concerned as to how he was holding up in the guest house but just as you typed something out to him, he got to you first.

“Your parents turned their lights off, let’s sneak out~?”

You stared at the screen as you laughed quietly at the idea, quickly feeling your worries evaporate—he was fine, of course he was fine. Staring at the text a little more, you also considered the idea. Your parents usually fell asleep quickly and you weren’t tired at all, so it would be nice to get away from this place for a while.

“Is it really sneaking out if it’s my own home and If I’m an adult?” You asked, sending a text back. You were twenty-two now, bordering twenty-three; a young adult at this point, but one either way.

“It is if it gets you into trouble.” He replied.

You gently scoffed as you realised the depressing reality of how it actually was. You likely would get into trouble because you still had to walk on eggshells around your own family even now, which made it all seem even bleaker.

Wanting to go against the system, you accepted his offer, wanting for things to go down a different route for a change if you could help it and as such, you told him that you’d be down in five and to meet you at the front of the house.

You then quietly left through the front door and met with Satoru in the driveway who quietly greeted you with a smile, suppressing his voice for now so as to not get you in trouble, a notion that he personally thought was a little amusing.

Together, the two of you walked side by side as your shoulders unintentionally slouched, feeling some strange discomfort from existing within town once again.

It was the shell of your former self manifesting who you once were, showing Satoru a side of you that he was aware of but one that you’d rather he didn’t know.

A side of you that felt just a little watched, a little judged in everything that you did.

He responded to your sunken body language with a pat on your back with some slight force in his hand, hoping to both straighten your posture as well as to snap you out of whatever it was you were going through.

“You know, I miss that girl that I got to know in the city,” he said as he looked up into the night sky, his eyes taking in the many stars blanketing over town, “you’re not really yourself out here, are you?”

You gulped as you listened to him talk, finding that his words were oddly profound for who he was and couldn’t form a proper response, at least not right away. Other parts of the question felt a little like a pick up line but you did your best to not overthink it, knowing that his personality was flirty by default and that it wasn’t personal even if he did mean it that way.

The walk led you to a nearby park where the lights were still shining bright under the lampposts scattered throughout, the two of you settling on a bench near the entrance. Some low grade cursed spirits loitered in the shadows further into the park, but neither of you cared enough to exorcise those.

The night sky was exceptionally beautiful tonight, completely devoid of clouds as a crescent moon smiled over the world; clusters of stars freckling around the dark canvas.

“I miss views like this back in the city. Even further out where it’s quiet, it’s never really exactly like this.” Satoru said after a while.

“Yeah, it’s the only thing I ended up really missing when I moved to Tokyo.” You replied in agreement.

Something about this whole thing felt strangely intimate, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. It wasn’t generating as much tension as it had done so when you were alone with Suguru, but something was brewing that you couldn’t quite understand.

Regardless, you didn’t want it to go another wrong direction though so you kept your hands and body language to yourself.

Keeping your friends as friends was more important, you thought.

“So, there’s really nothing else out here?” Satoru asked.

“Well, that depends on how you look at it,” you considered, trying your best to not be completely negative, “there’s the night views, the nature and the clean air which is good for some people.”

“But not for you.” He speculated.

“I guess not.”

“There’s no shame in this place just being somewhere you had to live in, you know. You shouldn’t let it define you.” He said after a while, trying to help you feel better about being here while also trying to ease you into becoming more vulnerable so he could potentially chance a move on you.

“I mean… it’s easier said than done,” you replied as you let his words fester in your mind, talking a touch more spontaneously as your emotions stirred, “maybe you don’t get it because you were told that you were special your entire life-“

Wait. Oops.

You froze as you realised exactly what you had just said and just how terribly it was worded.

Satoru noticed this and didn’t even flinch nor did his demeanour change a single bit. He didn’t mind such sudden bluntness from you, in fact, he found it refreshing that you were capable of speaking your mind under the right conditions.

“It’s alright—you’re alright,” he laughed a little as he found himself momentarily stunned, “you’re right about that much.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that.” You continued to blabber despite his attempts to talk you down from your spiraling unease.

“I just wanted to say that you’re not that ordinary either, even if you were told it,” he continued to explain without dwelling on what you hit him with, “you have something that a lot of people can’t even comprehend having.”

Sighing, you finally forced yourself to face the conversation.

“I know, but, I just feel like if I didn’t have anything going on then maybe I would actually have a chance to be normal.”

“But where’s the fun in that, [name]?” Satoru replied, scoffing just a little as though jokingly offended. “You could have had a boring normal life in a small town, yeah, but that’s all you would have done in your life.”

“And is that so bad…?”

“When you’re comparing it to what you have, I’d say so?” He asked as countered your question with one of his own, he didn’t show it but he was a little frustrated at how little credit you gave yourself, “your past here was a blip at best and all I’m getting at here is that you shouldn’t let it define you.”

“It’s just easier said than done.” You sighed, although you did agree with him. This topic was difficult to discuss, but it felt freeing to face a troubling truth.

Silence followed beyond that point, leaving you wondering if there was something wrong with you that drained the life from those around you given just how quiet people were.

In reality, or at least for Satoru’s case, it was that he felt comfortable enough to finally continue making a move on you despite the fact that he was starting to slowly become conflicted with doing so.

You were vulnerable as you had finally opened up to him in a way he was certain that you hadn’t to others before, but it didn’t feel right to do so completely.

Still, he chose to lean in for a kiss that managed to catch you so off guard that you immediately pulled away, wondering why this was happening a second time—hoping that you actually weren’t doing anything to lead anyone on without realising it.

Satoru pulled back too as he maintained his unserious expression, choosing to not present himself as offended even if the rejection did throw him off, even just a little. He quickly laughed it off either way, having a new idea in mind to ease you into giving in.

“My mistake, [name],” he smiled as he continued to stare into yours, “I thought we were supposed to be selling a lie up here.”

“I-I guess so but it feels too real-“

“—Just this once?” Satoru asked as he cut you off, not giving you room to think. “Maybe with some luck someone will see.”

That was exactly what worried you, that someone from town would see you kissing him despite it already being so late into night—at least for this place. You knew that just from looking at Satoru that this was his attempt at something, but you didn’t want it to go down that road at all.

“Just think of it this way, if we have to sell it around your parents later, it’ll be easier to do.” He said as he continued to warm you up to the idea.

Your own bruised persona that existed within this town tried to justify it for you internally, telling you that this would be your chance at appearing normal for a change as your body slowly ended up leaning into the kiss, after all.

It wasn’t so bad as your lips finally connected, but you didn’t really feel anything at all as it all unfolded.

Maybe he was actually just playing you to see how easily you played into his cards, but you couldn’t deny that you were curious—at least a little, just to see what it was like to lock lips with someone else.

Satoru then pulled back after a moment had passed too, sensing your discomfort, not wanting to push you over your limit, at least not yet.

He could tell that it was your first kiss, but that just helped him savour it all the better.

***

It was a quiet walk back to the house and just as you were about to re-enter the front door, Satoru pulled you off into the garden along with him as an attempt to convince you that you would probably feel less bad if you spent the night with him than entirely alone.

“Please?” He playfully begged you. “Don’t make me spend the night in there all alone.”

“It’s just for two nights though-“

“—Unless you want me to sneak up to your room~?”

Such an idea even if he was joking left you feeling a little mortified as the colour drained from your face. There was absolutely zero chance that he was going to see that side of you, so you reluctantly gave into the offer of a sleepover instead.

Even if he did steal a kiss from you, there was something about his entire being that made him seem somehow more trustworthy than Suguru to you.

Maybe it was the fact that he was open about it?

“Trust me, [name],” he continued to say as he tugged your wrist off to the guest house, “if we’re supposed to be together anyway, it wouldn’t even be that weird to be seen with me in the morning.”

“But my parents-“

“—They were young too at some point, trust me, they’ll get it.”

You understood that part fully well but you still felt a bit off about the whole thing. Sneaking out was one thing, being seen leaving the guest house with him was another due to the implications alone. You wanted to sell the lie too, but it was starting to feel all too real again and you didn’t want for him to get the wrong idea about just how much you were allowing him to get away with.

“Just to sleep, nothing more-“

“—Just to keep up appearances,” he assured you while smiling, “it smells in here, don’t make me suffer through that alone.”

You stared at him for a little longer, sighing as you continued to give into the idea; his smile growing wider as he watched you accept such a proposal.

“I won’t do anything,” he added along, “we’ll just sleep, yeah?”

You nodded as your mind quietly crumbled internally at the prospect of sharing a bed with a guy, so when you both got into bed together you made a conscious effort to stay at the edge of the bed while he read into your body language, backing himself up against the wall.

The bed was surely small though and such crowdedness radiated a heat between the two of you despite not touching each other at all.

The summer heat continued to fester and as a result, he slowly dressed down albeit to a respectable degree and you soon gave into surrendering your top for the camisole beneath, still keeping your bottoms on, just to make sleep even a little bearable.

Falling asleep within his shadow felt strange initially but the exhaustion quickly swept over you. He wasn’t being weird to you as you had initially feared and as such, you were successfully lulled into a false sense of security around him.

So by the time you were fast asleep, you didn’t even notice as he slowly crept ever so slightly closer to you, intending to brush it off as nighttime habits if you were to wake up from his advancement.

…But you never did.

He then attempted to close the distance between you even more as he pressed himself up ever so slightly against your back, feeling himself grow excited as he did so—a consequence of his own selfish thoughts.

Although, you did pull away subconsciously as the heat became overwhelming which prompted him to stop for a moment, thinking about how exactly to go through this, or if he should even do so at all.

The conflicting feeling came back again and he was beginning to feel strange in how he was treating you but at least for now, the arousal clouded his thoughts on the matter as he continued onwards.

Continuing, he pulled down his shorts even further while backing off a little. His semi-hard cock pitched slightly against his boxers as he did his best to keep it subtle enough, shuffling closer against your back without waking you up or bothering you.

Just to feel how you felt against himself, he wouldn’t go beyond that point.

You couldn’t feel him at all in your deep sleep regardless, your mind not even registering the fact that his tip pressed ever so slightly against the small of your back. He wanted to keep you close which is why he didn’t go further, making sure to act at least somewhat rationally so that he wouldn’t do anything he’d regret.

It surely did take him a good while until he broke away from you though, settling flat against his back instead as frustration enveloped him. He took care of himself at his own hand instead, the bed slightly shaking as he did so but never once breaking you away from slumber, finishing off into his shorts that he then threw off to the side.

Satoru sighed deep as he forced himself to behave around you, convincing himself that you’d ease into it another day—just not today, but maybe at another time.

It was because he liked you that he kept a boundary to begin with.

It was because he liked you that he didn’t want to hurt you.

(Unless you gave him a reason to.)

He surely wouldn’t.

…Would he?

#xposted to ao3 #tw #dead dove fic #yandere x reader #satoru gojo #yandere jjk #dark fanfiction #dead dove do not eat #dark fic #jjk yandere #satoru gojo x reader #satoru x reader #yandere suguru geto #suguru geto x you #suguru geto x reader #slow build #fanfic #jjk #yandere x female reader #yandere x y/n #yandere fantasy #yandere x you #yandere fanfiction #reader x gojo #reader x geto #yandere geto #geto x reader #gojo x reader #weekly updates

[lettherebemonsters]

You prob answered this before but im gonna ask anyway:

If Vivziepop said that Adam is “alive in some way”, what’s ur theory on it? (My theory is that Viv is hiding stuff from us)

(LOL I've been asked this a few times but I love answering stuff for Adam. XD So ask away!)

That's EXACTLY what I'm thinking. There's a lot of stuff that just doesn't sit right with my on how Adam died. It didn't feel final, not like, let's say, a DBZ kill where the bad guy literally gets torn apart.

I think she went about it the right way in order to make sure Adam had a chance to come back. If Lucifer hit Adam with his Destroy the Planet move, there was no question Adam would have been gone for good (and a big reason why I think the 'angelic light isn't a weapon' excuse is bullshit.)

BUT, having Adam stabbed left it open. Had the show not been renewed, then Adam could plausibly stay dead because of the angelic steel. BUT had the show been greenlit another season, it'd be easy to have him resurrect in Pen's place. An 'eye for an eye' kind of thing.

Add that NOBODY'S mentioned anything about Adam except for Viv's vague 'dead but alive' thing, and that she looks like she's avoiding Sinner Adam posts makes me wonder that Adam's going to be the shocking reveal for season 2.

I ADORE Lute, but let's be real...she does NOT have Adam's charisma. There's no way she can solo an entire story arc on her own. More than likely she's going to find Adam as a sinner and face her words coming back to bite her.

Viv DID say she put a TON of Easter Eggs for season 2, and A LOT of lines at Adam tend to lean towards someone falling in season 2. And Adam's definitely the guy that fits best.

I know from experience that lack of information does NOT mean it doesn't exist. Instead, it supports something IS happening, since why allow the hype to build and risk enraging most of your consumer base? Everytime a show pulls a move like that, it suffers MASSIVELY.

(Oh and the actors being banned from openly talking about season 2 definitely gives me the vibes that something very big is brewing...)

#justarandomaccountlolm #call me dickmaster! (adam) #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel adam #adam firstman #sinner adam #hazbin hotel #lute hazbin hotel #lute x adam #hazbin lute #hazbin hotel lute #vivziepop #vivienne medrano

[arklay]

RESIDENT EVIL → THE WESKER FAMILY

To the public, little is known of the families behind some of the world’s most renowned bioterrorists, but the question remains: did they play a role in causing their children to walk down the path that they did? Or are these individuals simply ambitious criminals with delusions of grandeur?

For Diana Wesker (née Afanasyeva), her introduction into the bioweapons black market trade was upon discovering her employers were using her research into limb regeneration with salamanders to further their experiments in creating enhanced soldiers, instead of developing human therapies with which she was recruited for. Although the prospect of using biological weapons in the military did not appeal to her, the concept remained fascinating for her own selfish endeavours. Born on the 27th of October, 1963 in Sydney, Australia to Russian immigrant parents, Diana had harsh expectations placed upon her at a young age, ones that no matter how hard she tried she could never live up to. Her mother, Tatyana, was an unfeeling woman, absent for long stretches of time with little regard to how it affected her daughters, much more concerned with her craft as an accomplished opera singer. Viktor was no better. A strict man whose role as father and ballet master blurred, he pushed his girls to one day follow in his footsteps. Whilst Sofia enjoyed ballet, and went on to become a professional ballet dancer, Diana’s heart was set on going into the field of biology. She wished to make a name for herself, separate from her family – to which she succeeded.

Diana was married to former U.S. Marine, Dave Monroe, for only a year until he was declared dead in 1992 after succumbing to injuries sustained in a horrific car accident. Foul play was ruled out while Diana played the role of the grief-stricken widow, but in reality, she had snapped after years of mistreatment at her husband’s hands, and opted for something she could pass off as an accident to be free of him. For years she believed he was dead – and he was, legally – but that proved to not be the case when he found his way back into her life again in 1999. Unbeknownst to her, she had been lied to by the police and coroner, who were paid off by her employers when they took Dave’s body for themselves and used him as one of their first test subjects in developing supersoldiers. Before he could ever hurt her again, Diana’s second husband, Albert Wesker, tracked the man down, captured him and tortured him, before allowing Diana to get her violent and bloody revenge.

The origins of Albert Wesker’s involvement in bioterrorism, alongside his twin sister, Alex, are much different than that of Diana’s. The two hail from London, Canada, but unfortunately, they hold no memories of their lives there, nor what happened to their biological parents when they were eight years old. Agents of Oswell E. Spencer, an aristocratic billionaire and eugenicist, took the twins from their home and executed their parents as per Spencer’s orders. Albert and Alex were then placed in a home funded by the Spencer Foundation where they were given new names and a privileged upbringing. They had access to the best education possible, free to pursue whichever field they decided, but it was by no accident they both went into virology and bioengineering; at home, their adoptive parents – agents whom they believed to be their real parents – instilled them with the beliefs of Oswell E. Spencer, harbouring disdain for war and pestilence, and believing humans to be an evolutionary dead-end in need of a rebirth. They were only two of the hundreds of children “adopted” as part of what is known as Project W, a plan intended to develop an advanced race of human beings. The most promising candidates were headhunted by Umbrella Pharmaceuticals, the twins amongst them, where they went on to create bioweapons for the company founded by none other than the man who had handpicked them for his plan. The final stage of this was to infect the thirteen Spencer saw fit, however, only two survived; Albert received the intended effects, now possessing superhuman abilities, however, Alex was only offered more time to live due to her terminal degenerative illness.

In the summer of 1995, Diana was working undercover within Umbrella to gather development data on their projects for her company. Here, she had a chance encounter with Albert, an intelligence officer at the time, which permanently altered the course of her life. The two were never seen far from one another’s side, marrying in 1998, and they went on to become notorious in the bioweapons industry. The development of the Uroboros virus was where things took a turn for the worst. Although Diana’s infection was successful and she bore abilities that rivalled her husband’s, the plan itself did not succeed as they had hoped, and almost cost Albert his life at the hands of his former subordinates.

Now, they work within the shadows, with Diana declared missing and Albert believed to be dead. Their legacy, however, lives on with the mark they left on the world. As visionaries in their field, they influenced bioterror attacks carried out by countless individuals and organisations. In turn, they also inspired others to fight against such atrocities. One such person happens to be Albert’s son from a former relationship, Jake Müller, whose existence he was unaware of.

#mine. #oc: diana #pair: ewskers #click for better quality cause it's large & tumblr ate it ♡ #hii so happy birthday diana !! queen is 60 today :] #um. there's no template cause i made this from scratch...i couldn't find any i was vibing with so i was like you know what lmaoo #i'm sorry for the essay...it was meant to be just a short rundown of the family but well...that happened. typical leah fashion... #oh and guys. did you know that there's a limit to the amount you can put in one blockquote? that's why the rest is just left like that caus #i didn't like how it looked with a blockquote each paragraph...cause the spaces between were unever. you understand 😔 #with the tree i was also going to include weskids adoptive parents but i couldn't figure out how to arrange it all & make it look nice !! #cause i also wanted to have spencer in there as well cause he's a big reason why the weskids are the way they are...was maybe gonna include #sherry as well. like connected to jake (hehe) and then do her parents too but that would've made things so wide & it's already big enough #yes. i hc that albert & alex are biological twins. just for clarification there :] i don't think i added anything else that isn't canon or #implied with canon. cause the weskids were put in homes (or at least whatever ''controlled environments'' means) where they were monitored #by umbrella but were unaware of it. so yeah. i don't think i really changed much there !! #honestly i could've kept rambling cause there's alex's whole situation. there's my lore with jake's mum. there's way more with the ewskers #but it's already so long & i can't be concise so there's that lmaoo oh also diana's grandma. so much stuff #also meant to say the weskids birthday in that ramble. it's january 15 1960 :] they are capricorn sun leo moons but alex was born earlier s #their rising signs are albert is a scorpio rising & alex is a libra rising !! #had to redo the image cause typo on diana's birth year for some reason lmao so if that messed up the formatting i will sob

[moregraceful]

accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea

#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol #i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho #tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects #which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME #''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with #anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn #my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!! #what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :( #also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD #i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was #two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions #so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe #their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything #at face value #don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns #i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate #this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just #fresno oilers.txt #oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute #i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does #but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough #or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week #but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT #and my life will be like this. FOREVER #icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol #well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half #time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours

[maulfucker]

Poast about the "fucking some guy" saga behind the scenes because I can't shut up about it :]

The idea of this series started as just some Maul porn (possibly as a kinda flashback in what became They finally fuck each other this time) where he fucks a guy. Originally i was thinking of going with a twi'lek because they're what we see as sex workers the most in canon, and also the idea of them having two dicks (to match the two headtails) entertains me

As mentioned before, the base of They finally fuck each other this time is actually a wip I've had for Months and didn't know where to go with

There was a scene in the wip where Obi-Wan gives Maul a patdown to check if he's really unarmed, but it was not homoerotic enough and felt kinda out of place and out of character so I cut it

(There were also supposed to be more scenes with Bo-Katan, but once again. did not fit well enough.)

There was gonna be a scene like right after they fuck where Obi-Wan gets a call from the Jedi Council because he's been gone and out of contact for Hours so of course they're worried. and he's like. "oh don't worry I was just having a conversation with a slightly paranoid possible new ally. nothing much going on :) " [<- his neck is visibly covered in hickeys and bite marks]

[yoda voice] some bacta you need. terrible post coital manners your new friend has.

The original original idea continues well after where I ended the series, and involved Maul being imprisoned after Bo-Katan gets the throne except he's put in like. a ray-shielded apartment. and Obi-Wan has to live with him. because there's no way simple technology can keep a Force user imprisoned so they should have a jedi guard him, and Bo-Katan asked him so nicely, how could he possibly refuse to submit to the torture of living a domestic life with his nemesis with benefits.

And from then on it's all just. silly gay slice of life.

Like.

Very awkward jedi visits because everyone wants to see how Obi-Wan is doing but they're all distrustful of Maul even though he's just. vibing in his corner. sipping tea or reading a book. ignoring everyone staring at him.

VERY awkward Anakin and Padmé visit because he Senses she is pregnant and the children (he can feel it's twins) are Force-sensitive and he's like. well that's Interesting [<- doing his best not to bring up the topic of fucking jedi]

(the visit slowly turns into talking about the merits of leaving the Jedi Order for love and how that's totally fine and not a betrayal of one's morals and if someone wanted to stop being a jedi to go marry a senator and become a father that would be totally fine Anakin we would all be so happy for you. hypothetically.)

A mandalorian tries to "jailbreak" Maul but he's like. I'm fine where I am, so no thank you. and this probably happens like once a month.

Arguing about tea (it's like a hobby for them) (force help anyone who visits them during these arguments, they WILL force people to take sides)

And more!

#hm i should make an original post tag #hm i should make an original writing tag #obimaul #the duel took like a week to happen so obi-wan had time to go back and tell the jedi council what maul told him don't worry #he did not forget the main reason why maul kidnapped him. and neither did i. i just didn't know where to fit it in the post #palpatine is either arrested (and executed) or on the run. but either way he's definitely exposed #and the jedi can finally go back to their real job (pacifying the galaxy) #and obi-wan can finally get a fucking break #i loooove imagining silly little neverending scenarios it's like a whole series in my head. full of filler episodes. #which is why i would never be able to make the original idea a thing #because it's. ever-growing. #one day i'm imagining the anidala visit. the other i'm imagining barriss visiting and asking maul so many questions #like do your tattoos mean anything. what was your family like. are your eyes naturally yellow or do you make them like that on purpose. #and obi-wan being like. barriss don't be rude!! [<- has been wanting to ask all that stuff for ages but never had the courage] #it's fun to think about but it's not something that can be turned into a fic

[ladsofsorrow24]

i think some of you are too used to genre conventions, you guys forgot to question the worldbuilding that many authors painstakingly made to question the subject of death and life in a more nuanced manner than just "wow resurrection is so romantic!"

#like yeah i do love romanticizing horror tropes at times #but there's a reason why it is a horror trope and not a common romance plot #necromancy... especially mixing an individual's soul with that of another species is something that can be disturbing #doesn't matter if the one who's doing the resurrecting or the one get resurrected is in love #think about how falin feels knowing that even though marcille and laios loved her they ended up taking a decision #that not only hurts her physically but also emotionally #being stripped of control from your own body... not being able to do anything but follow your master's command... #falin did not asked to be the chimera #but that's what makes her decision to take the red dragon with her before she wakes up so cathartic in some ways #she also acknowledged that the red dragon did not ask for this to happen... just like how she forgives the lil guy she also #forgives her brother and marcille for taking this very... bad decision because she understands they're just as desperate #as she is when she tried to save them before she died #it circles back to the theme of accepting death and how resurrection magic ended up making people too comfortable #with the act of mindless killing of other living creatures #but yeah sadly people only see the surface level stuff but don't actively tried to understand the significance behind the plot #i can't really blame anime-only but people who read the manga tho... #if you only understand it as a romance trope and be like 'oh everyone else is just stupid' maybe you need to reread the manga #at least once a month #to understand ryoko kui's writing better #tmi tag

[mishtershpock]

.

#okay i’m gonna try to keep this short and sweet. 30 tag maximum you are my nemesis lol #my main issue here is not necessarily that the karaoke and other bach party scenes have likely been cut #it’s more that they’re clearly buddie baiting for engagement #journalists were watching the episode as early as saturday. which means the ep was ready by at least this time last week #so they knew that the scenes had been cut. and they chose to continue including it in promotion and interviews #i KNOW that logically the reason they chose those scenes to cut was because they’re less important. and we’d already seen them #they technically already gave us the clips in the promo videos. right? so bye bye #but that’s bullshit. sorry #they used buddie best friendism content as a way to promote the ep and increase hype #and then they just pull it out from under us the day before it airs #this is a madney episode. madney are getting married. buddie having fun is not the most important thing here. i get it #so why did they not promote something else? you’re telling me there was NOTHING ELSE they could’ve used? #nothing else from the episode that was free of big spoilers? at all??? #it’s madney’s episode but they chose to promote one clip of buddie talking to maddie. one of chim crawling. and the bach party stuff #they must know that people would focus on the bach party. buddie is beloved buck and eddie are beloved #what were they expecting?? #they used buddie as a pairing as bait. not queer bait and not even ship bait i suppose as there was nothing ‘shippy’ shown #but they baited buddie content. that’s literally what’s happened #i would be more understanding if this wasn’t a regular occurrence. it’s normal sure. shows do this all the time with fan faves #but also it is a false reflection of the episode. even journalists are saying the episode is not what they expected from the promo #it honestly feels like they’ve made fools of us. maybe the episode will air and it’ll be better than expected #but i don’t have much hope not much hope for buddie. not much hope for madney getting what they deserve. ZERO hope for eddie’s 7b storyline #frankly i’m expecting b/t to be the main chat after this ep. which is……. anyway #i’m not really liking s7 so far and i feel gaslit when people say it’s great lol #IN MY OPINION it is choppy and too fast and a little ooc and doesn’t make a lot of sense #they didn’t even green light bi!buck until episode. what. 2/3?? #so presumably had to change everything from then on #i know that’s partly down to limited episode numbers but… 3 eps for the cruise (unnecessary) but 1 for madney wedding? ok #sigh. if anyone’s read this far pls don’t come for me ok. these are just my opinions #we’re all entitled to them. i’m sad for madney and i’m sad for buddie best friendism and i’m sad for s7 as a whole right now

[boy-armageddon]

YES my username on yt is a blood bros reference :33 i need to go to crimes world again i know in my heart and soul that i love her but i seldom show her attention .. i need to care her more ..

HOOFRAY!!!! also pretty please do!!!!!!! for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#such a good album it is Insane that like. you never really see it talked about outside of certain spaces #and even then it was originally derided for being much less heavy than its predecessors #such a smart album lyrically and even in just like certain songs like peacock skeleton with crooked feathers #which btw is my go-to song to introduce people 2 them #for obvious reasons. the way the vocals play off each other #the keyboard #aforementioned lyrics because man they’re good at writing political lyrics that are simultaneously very pointed and relevant to this day #and also just plain fun. the way they word stuff rolls off the tongue very well #which I suppose is very much in part to Whitney being a very literary guy from what I’ve read up about him #SPEAKING OF!!!!! Jesus Christ the vocals. the vocals #(positive) #very very powerful for a guy who was like…. 21-22 at the time of recording I’d reckon? #I know whitney’s vocals are a turn off for the band for most people but imo? it’s one of the main appeals. 2 me he is like an insanely good #vocalist. almost jealous that he can hit those notes as a cis guy and I can’t cause omfg in like. wolf party near the end #HOW DOES A GUY MANAGE THAT….. #I love how they incorporated elements of other genres in it. like I don’t see them as indie rock like people #for whatever reason #like to describe them as in that album #but you can hear the elements. bringing up wolf party again cause nick zinner did some of the guitar in that and he’s in an indie band no? #yeah yeah yeahs or whatevs. they’re cool seeming I should check ‘em out #ALSO sorry I kind of glossed over Blilie. he’s really fucking good in the album obvs!!!! #pretty sure he did the album art which. omfg it’s had an aesthetic chokehold on me as of late #and also just. he has a nice voice #the sort of warbley thing he has and also his screams… goated #contrary to my posting #I’m actually a bliliegirl I’d consider myself lol. Whitney happens to also have a psychic chokehold on me #this is obvious. I go by Johnny and want to go blonde HMMMMM I WONDER WHY.. #my bad for rambling in tags I just. I love that album so deeply #it’s very meaningful to my identity and songs like the title track and beautiful horses just. get me right at my core #evil neighing compilation

[coquelicoq]

natsume book of friends season 4 opening sequence has got me incredibly fucked up. the lyrics. kid natsume's tiny little legs and teenage natsume watching him run. the lyrics. nyanko-sensei burrowing into his arms. did i mention the lyrics? ending frame on the fujiwara family. including natsume. because he's part of their family. as the lyrics ask him to "please [not] keep suffering alone"? somebody fucking hold me.

#i'm actually almost done with season 4 because i have no self-control. and every time i watch the opening i'm like #no this has only gotten more potent since the last time i watched it. we are reaching danger levels #natsume yuujinchou #natsume's book of friends #my posts #season 4 is the season of tanuma just completely destroying me on every level. why is every single character like this?? #every time he learns something about natsume he's like oh so this is what it's like for natsume? #and then it happens again and he's like wait natsume ALSO has THIS OTHER THING to contend with?? #and again: AND A THIRD THING?? WHY MUST THE WORLD'S BEST BOY NATSUME TAKASHI SUFFER??? #he just wants to help natsume deal with stuff and i am on the fucking floor #his thought process is just #this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe here's a way i could help him? he doesn't want me to though because it would #put me in danger. but i don't want him to be in danger either. and i'm telling him that to his face. i don't think it's really #gotten through to him but that's okay i will just keep telling him. now i'm realizing that the thing i did to help him maybe just made #things harder for him. this is hard for natsume. i wish i could help him. maybe sometimes the best way to help him is to just #respect his wishes and yet remind him that he can lean on people and that people love him as much as he loves them #the part where tanuma realized why natsume doesn't tell the fujiwaras about youkai gutted me #this kid is so emotionally astute and such a sweetheart #i just watched the episode where natsume loses his picture of his parents and his old house is getting sold and i cried. SO many tears. #tanuma putting his foot down for once like no actually you need to admit that something is bothering you this time #we can find this picture. ask us to help you do this thing that we can actually do for you. you don't need to be sad for no reason #mmm can't be coherent about it just rest assured it was extremely harmful to me and also exactly what i needed #anyway the season 4 opening song as the thing you say to your younger self who lives inside your current self because #you can't actually go back in time and be the person your younger self needed to have in their life. so all you can do is love that child #in absentia but so so so fiercely and with your whole entire heart #all you can do is give your current self all the love you have for the child you were #jesus CHRIST