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#anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn
moregraceful
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4 months
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accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea
#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol
#i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho
#tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects
#which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME
#''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with
#anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn
#my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!!
#what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :(
#also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD
#i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was
#two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions
#so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe
#their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything
#at face value
#don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns
#i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate
#this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just
#fresno oilers.txt
#oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute
#i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does
#but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough
#or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week
#but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT
#and my life will be like this. FOREVER
#icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol
#well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half
#time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours
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