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#Anakin's fall was his responsibility and the result of his choices
lectorel · 5 months
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Yet more vague blogging
"No one can be blamed for how Anakin turned out [except Anakin] - we all have parents who were imperfect and made mistakes but still loved us, Anakin had Shmi and then Obi-Wan, it's not their fault he got attached when he wasn't supposed to -"
Really. You don't think that it has anything to do with the trauma of knowing you can be killed or torn from everything you've ever known at the whim of your owner or even a total stranger, that even when you've been 'saved' you can't do anything to help the people left behind.
Nothing to do with being told that caring about a woman left behind in slavery is bad because it means he's attached to her, and then seeing her die because he tried to do what he was told and didn't go to her when she was in danger. That couldn't have possibly given Anakin reason to fear that if he loves someone, the Jedi will refuse to help them if they're in danger.
Completely separate from the manipulation and gaslighting of Palpatine, the trauma of being sent into a war at 19, the harm done by violently severing a child from his family and culture of origin and giving him no tools to deal with it.
No, Anakin's fall is 100% on him and the choices he made. No one else could possibly have contributed to it. How could I be so stupid as to miss that?
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himboskywalker · 2 years
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Hi! The Kenobi show made me wonder how much Anakin's choices were groomed by Palpatine being a master manipulator and by the Council overlooking the worrying aspects their friendship. What do you think? (I am genuinely curious as someone who is dipping her toes in Star Wars).
Hello! And welcome welcome!
I’m in a very niche category of how I interact with and perceive Anakin and his fall. While I love his character,and deeply empathize with his faults and fears,I also think there’s a middle ground in loving and understanding his character while also holding him responsible for his choices. Yes Palpatine groomed and influenced him,we see really just the tip of the iceberg in the films of the psychological influence he seeds with Anakin through the years,where some of the books and comics sheds more light on the darker aspects of this. Would he have been less likely to fall without the influence of Sidious since he was a boy? Yes I think absolutely so,I think exposure to twisted ideas coming from a mentor who’s supposed to guide him only further gray Anakin’s perception of the galaxy. Sidious wormed his way into Anakin’s trust through manipulative mentoring and flattery,and the result was Anakin listening to,not Obi-Wan,but this other mentor who soothed his ego and who he thought understood him. Sidious encouraged his volatility,his anger and fear,and primarily his mistrust and paranoia. And while Anakin is a temperamental and angry character and his faults are his own,I don’t think he would have been prone to a lot of his ideas of “my empire” and “the Jedi are evil” without Sidious’s years of darkside influence and manipulations.
But I don’t think the Council are responsible for this. We see a lot of evidence ( @gffa Check out Lumi’s meta on this it’s far better and more in depth than mine) in a myriad of canon sources that the Council don’t like Palpatine meddling and trying to be close with Anakin. They very much try to put themselves between the involvement of the Chancellor with Anakin,primarily in later years when it becomes more apparent. The Council do not want the influence of the Senate and the Chancellor,but they are also beholden to them,and especially by the Clone Wars very much have their hands tied and have been backed into a corner of no win scenarios orchestrated deliberately by Sidious. This is the tragedy of the Jedi,that they are placed in a no win situation.
Obi-Wan especially never liked the meddling of Palpatine with Anakin and you can see especially in Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith novel and lots of comics that he actively does not like their friendship and does his best to stifle it all the while trying not to anger Anakin or the Chancellor. The Jedi were very protective of Anakin,but the fact is they couldn’t fully understand the situation when Anakin had kept them in the dark. You can do your absolute best to help someone but if they’re lying to you there’s no way you can fully understand what they are going through.
Lots of people cite that they didn’t help him when he was having the force visions of Padmé dying but he literally never TOLD Obi-Wan or Yoda that he was having visions/dreams of Padmé dying! How could the Council,Obi-Wan included,keep Palpatine from Anakin when by his twenties Anakin was very much hiding how close they had become and how often they interacted? The Jedi could not be responsible for things that they were not aware of by the deliberate omission of Anakin. In the scope of what they did know and by what was in their power,they absolutely protected Anakin as best as they were able and given the means of knowledge to do so.
That is to say I think a good deal of Anakin’s mistrust for the Jedi by RotS stemmed from Sidious’s direct influence and whispering in his ear. I think without Palpatine having such close access to him from being in such a position of power,that Anakin would have resisted his fall better. In all I love Anakin and am extremely sympathetic to his pains and faults,but I also think ultimately the blame is on himself and his inability to let go of his fear,it’s his very narrative. The inevitability and tragedy of Anakin Skywalker is how brightly be burned and how deeply he fell from his own avoidable and stoppable mistakes. Anakin himself has now looked Obi-Wan in the eye as Darth Vader and verbally validated what the narrative has been saying for decades,that Anakin fell because of his own choices.
“I am not your failure,Obi-Wan. You didn’t kill Anakin Skywalker,I did.”
Even Anakin asserts ownership and responsibility that his fall is his own fault. It is not because the Council could not help him or that everyone around him did not try to reach out to him,but because he succumbed to his own fear of loss and his crippling attachment/inability to let go.
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kanansdume · 2 years
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Looking back at these three moments is so interesting because we all know that Obi-Wan's "hubris" storyline got a little ret-conned in the making of The Phantom Menace, that a lot of it went to Qui-Gon instead and Obi-Wan became a very different character with a very different place in the story and relationship to Anakin as a result. Especially after the events of Obi-Wan Kenobi, he has gone from someone who takes responsibility here for at least SOME of Anakin's fall by acknowledging the arrogance he had in choosing to train Anakin, in believing himself better than Yoda, and instead turns into someone who is explicitly said to have exactly no fault in the entire situation. Obi-Wan did his best, it just wasn't enough and Anakin made his own bad choices, regardless of how well Obi-Wan did or didn't train him, regardless of how well someone else may or may not have done as Anakin's Master. Obi-Wan's choice to teach Anakin DID NOT cause him to fall, and the prequel trilogy films actually showcase a fairly good relationship between them and Obi-Wan's ability to, occasionally, break through Anakin's bad habits and enforce rationality over emotions.
But in contrast, we see that Anakin actually makes the exact mistake that got attributed to Obi-Wan in Return of the Jedi. With the caveat being that he does apparently have Yoda's blessing according to Ahsoka, but his statement here blatantly and arrogantly claims that he can train Ahsoka BETTER than Obi-Wan. It's a joke, in some respects, but this is also early enough in Anakin's Knighthood that his relationship with Obi-Wan is closer to what we see in Attack of the Clones (more contentious) than Revenge of the Sith (more equal and friendly). So the idea that this is Anakin sort-of taking an unnecessary and uncalled for potshot at Obi-Wan to impress his new Padawan doesn't strike me as out of character. The Force might believe they make a good pair, but that doesn't necessarily mean that Anakin is READY for the responsibility, it doesn't necessarily mean Anakin's actually going to ultimately make a good teacher for Ahsoka.
And this line is, from a Doylist perspective, meant to be ironic. It's a lampshade for the fact that the writers knew that the audience would question why Anakin was being given a padawan when he so clearly does not have one in Revenge of the Sith. This is letting the audience know that the writers are aware that Ahsoka ISN'T GOING TO MAKE IT AS ANAKIN'S PADAWAN. Even if they didn't know for sure what they were going to do in order to remove her from the story, there were three options available: she dies, leaves the Order, or just ends up with a different Master. Which means that we as the audience know that this statement will ultimately be proven FALSE. Anakin will be proven arrogant and full of hubris in this moment. And we know this from the moment this line is spoken.
Canonically, Ahsoka does not make it as Anakin's padawan. She just doesn't. She leaves the Order and never reaches Knighthood. That's the underlying irony of the entire scene.
And we see in multiple ways how Anakin's arrogance ultimately leads Ahsoka down the WRONG PATH.
Most damningly, are Ahsoka's choices during the Wrong Jedi arc, which predominantly seem to come down to training and opinions she received from Anakin. The first choice that makes her look especially guilty is when she takes the very suspicious key card because she thinks Anakin left it there, thinking that this absurd plan to break her out like this makes any sense at all and just goes along with it. I've seen the theory that this is Ahsoka reacting the way she would in a hostile enemy situation, which is probably true, but my issue with this is that Ahsoka is not mentally inhibited in any way. She knows she's not in enemy territory, she's perfectly aware she's on Coruscant. And ever since about season four onward, Ahsoka is actually presented as very level-headed and unlikely to just panic out of nowhere and suddenly fall back on instincts that make no sense for her current situation. So if we ARE supposed to believe Ahsoka is relying on training for how to handle being captured by an enemy, it seems OOC to me that she would do so.
More likely to me is that this is Anakin's training coming in. One of the very first lessons we ever see Anakin teach Ahsoka is in the Malevolence arc, when he teaches her how to lie to the Council and then do what she wants anyway and come up with a good enough excuse for it. Here, we see Ahsoka up against authorities, up against a system, that's asking Ahsoka to be PATIENT, to wait a little while until someone can find a way to prove her innocence, to trust that someone will believe her and help her. And instead, the moment she gets a hint that she can just... break the rules and run, she takes it. And she takes it explicitly because she thinks ANAKIN'S ASKING HER TO. In a situation where we already know she's aware that running makes you look more guilty, she does it anyway because it makes sense to her that Anakin would ask her to.
And then she continues to run after she escapes the cell because she claims she doesn't think anyone else would believe her OTHER THAN ANAKIN. She's been in that cell maybe a few hours at this point and the Council hasn't been approached by Tarkin yet to demand they expel her, so Ahsoka has exactly no reason to believe the Council WON'T listen to her, believe her, respect her. Which speaks of an inherent mistrust of the Jedi Order and the Council itself that Ahsoka may not have even been aware that she HAD up until now.
And where could she have picked that one up subconsciously? Certainly not any of the other Jedi she routinely spends time with: both Obi-Wan and Plo Koon are on the Council themselves, as is Yoda who she is seen going to for advice. Aayla and Luminara both seem pretty friendly with the Council even if they aren't on it. There's nothing the Council has done that would cause Ahsoka not to trust them. But that first lesson we see Anakin teach Ahsoka sows a seed for possible disrespect and lack of trust in the Council and their judgments. So if she doesn't trust them to believe her and thinks she has to prove her own innocence because the Council WON'T, she learned that behavior from Anakin. And this ultimately leads to her leaving the Order entirely. Had Ahsoka just stayed in her cell, recognized how suspicious that key card was, or just not run when she found the first attacked clone, she may have been able to put up a better defense for herself, Barriss may have been found out earlier. The Jedi may have been able to protect her easier if she'd acted smarter. Instead, Anakin's training and ideas fail her and she has to leave the Jedi.
Ahsoka doesn't make it as a Jedi, and it happens because she listened to Anakin.
Ahsoka doesn't make it as Anakin's Padawan. His training ultimately leads to her losing trust in herself and damages her relationship to the Council and the Order itself, so much so that she never manages to make it BACK to the Jedi before Anakin destroys them and makes it so she never can. Anakin's choices ultimately mean she can never return, and she has yet to reclaim that identity as a Jedi, though the upcoming show may ultimately have that change.
Anakin fails her as a Master. I believe that Yoda picked something up from the Force that told him Anakin and Ahsoka had the POTENTIAL to be a really good pair, this ultimately entirely relies on their own choices. And Anakin consistently makes bad ones. Anakin and Ahsoka are both stubborn, reckless, arrogant when they meet each other. Anakin forcing himself to teach Ahsoka lessons on patience and discipline and responsibility could have ultimately helped Anakin learn those same lessons and apply them more to himself; we see a similar concept happen with Kanan and Ezra, that teaching Ezra these lessons allows Kanan to actually fully understand them. Anakin and Ahsoka could have learned these things TOGETHER and come to help each other find balance specifically because of how similar they are to each other. But this was all POTENTIAL, it was all a MAYBE, and Anakin never actually ends up applying those lessons to himself, not enough at least. And Ahsoka picks up just as many of his worst habits as she does the few Jedi teachings he does manage to get across to her adequately, which could just as easily have been due to her foundation of Jedi training from growing up in the Temple or taught to her via all the other Jedi we see her learning lessons from (Jocasta Nu, Tera Sinube, Obi-Wan, Aayla Secura, Luminara Unduli, Yoda, Plo Koon).
In comparison, we are told in Return of the Jedi that Obi-Wan believes his hubris led to Anakin's fall. He says he believed he could train Anakin better than Yoda, and was wrong. That his training wasn't enough, that his training failed Anakin, because he was arrogant enough to overestimate his own power and abilities. But in the prequel trilogy, we see that this wasn't the case, at all.
Obi-Wan takes on Anakin's training against Yoda's advice, sure, but Yoda doesn't think he can train Anakin better, he doesn't try to convince Obi-Wan to let himself or anyone else train Anakin. And there's no real indication that what ultimately causes Anakin to fall was a failure in Obi-Wan's training. And, in fact, the reason Anakin didn't fall EARLIER was probably very much down to the training he got from Obi-Wan and the relationship they developed. Obi-Wan blames himself because he WAS Anakin's teacher and he loved Anakin and honestly has no idea about the visions of Padme's death so he can't quite put those pieces together and figure out why Anakin's done what he's done. So the easiest way to manage those feelings for a while, that confusion, is to just blame himself. But that doesn't make it TRUE.
Anakin and Ahsoka make their own choices, obviously. But while Anakin's choices cannot be attributed to bad training on Obi-Wan's part, Ahsoka's can be directly traced back to the training she'd have gotten from Anakin. The bad habits, the assumptions, the underlying mistrust aimed at the Jedi and the Council. All of it came from Anakin, and all of it leads to her own downfall and choice to walk away from the Order.
Even by Rebels, Ahsoka chooses to die rather than leave Anakin because she can't let go of her guilt and attachment to him. She'd have died because Anakin never really taught her how to let go of those things, because ANAKIN never really let go of those things himself and presented a bad example for her.
Anakin thought he could train Ahsoka even better than Obi-Wan Kenobi.
And he was wrong.
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astriiformes · 2 years
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For reasons, I am once again thinking about the ideal TOH Star Wars AU that I might not ever write but lives in my head and haunts me regularly
Can't decide if I would age some of the kids up by a couple years or just continue in the grand Star Wars tradition of harm and too much responsibility to literal children but Luz is a young Force-sensitive human maybe more around 16-18 (still not THAT old) living on a backwater planet who convinces Eda to take her on as an apprentice
Eda is an ex-Jedi who has been on the run since Order 66, now working as a smuggler. I think people are cowards about never interpreting anyone as aliens in Star Wars AUs and think she's a good candidate but haven't narrowed down exactly the species, although the whole Togruta-are-obligate-carnivores thing make them a tempting choice. The Empire has probably been around a little longer than in SW canon to make things line up right and I think she was an older teen during the Clone Wars, and also Bump's padawan before everything fell apart.
King is a small alien of indeterminate species that she found in a mysterious older-than-the-Jedi temple while mucking around the galaxy. Not sure exactly what his deal is but some kind of weird Mortis/the Ones/Force nonsense long since forgotten about by modern Force users feels about right.
Lilith is also a former Jedi (I know by canon Jedi rules they probably wouldn't have had two siblings training at the same time, but also, I can poke at Star Wars canon too), now Head of the Inquisitorius dead-set on tracking her sister down and recruiting her as another Inquisitor. Was probably Belos' padawan and got roped into his own fall to the Dark Side as a result.
Gus is a young (human?) Force-sensitive rebel, as is Willow (although I think she is a green twi'lek); I have not decided exactly how they are affiliated with the Rebellion since they are both YOUNG (although again, maybe more in the 16-18 range, Gus is still the youngest of the kids for sure) but I think having their parents involved might make sense, especially if it's in part an attempt to keep their kids safe from the Purges/Inquisitors. Doing something with the Emerald Entrails as an X-Wing squadron is also very tempting (Emerald Squadron, with Willow as Emerald Leader??)
Raine is in a sort of Bail Organa double agent senator/Rebellion leader style position and YES this means that they and Eda were basically doing a whole "what if Padmé and Anakin were just a tiny bit smarter, but not by much" illicit senator/Jedi romance when they were younger, so I think it would be funny if they were from Naboo. They definitely think Eda died in Order 66 and Eda definitely thinks they, as a member of the Imperial Senate, have bought into the whole "the Jedi were bad, actually" thing which is why the two haven't spoken in decades. Darius and Eberwolf might be Senate colleagues? (Maybe a Fulcrum agent kind of situation?)
Not sure what is going on with the Blights. I think maybe Alador is an Imperial scientist and Amity might end up involved via a not-quite-Rogue-One, but a little inspired by it heist situation just to get her in contact with the rebels. Her parents have worked very hard to keep her Force sensitivity on the down-low. Also I think it's funny that in canon Pantorans can have the same gold eyes/lavender hair look Amity does (just, you know, blue) so while it doesn't work for the whole family I think Alador being a Pantoran and Amity taking more after him than her mother works amusingly well.
Hunter is Belos' Mara Jade-style Emperor's Hand (obviously) but ALSO a clone (obviously) who probably has an Order 66-style chip implanted in him somewhere for maximum angst potential, because this is Hunter and also Star Wars. He was definitely a pet project independent of the clone troopers, probably an attempt to do something weird with the Force to create a perfect Jedi killer. I'm honestly not sure if he's Force-sensitive or not, it could really go either way. Also I would be broadly interpreting all palismen as droids, but Flapjack in particular has to be an old, beat-up little guy he found on a mission and has been tinkering with against his better judgement since.
Belos is probably creating some Force-draining superweapon; a Star Wars AU is interesting for him because making him a Sith makes him one of the weird "magic" folks himself, but obviously the Jedi purges are still a good equivalent to his whole deal in canon. He and his brother were both Jedi and Caleb almost definitely tried to stop his fall to the dark side in a very Mustafar-but-if-Anakin-won situation, just because I think the parallel there is tasty.
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violethowler · 1 year
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So 3 years ago when I was in the peak of my excitement over the final season of The Clone Wars, @darrowsrising DM’ed me with a question about the potential ways that the writing of Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequel era could have influenced Pierce’s writing of Darrow in the Red Rising saga given how Pierce is a Star Wars fan
I started writing out my thoughts and then promptly forgot about it and never got around to finishing my draft.
3 years later I was going through my computer and had a burst of inspiration so I’m finally getting around to posting this. Sorry it took so long @darrowsrising!
The original question:
'Lo! Sorry to disturb you, but I saw that the clone wars is back and I was reminded of that discussion we had about Anakin being manipulated...I was thinking, because Pierce is a SW fan - is Darrow what Anakin should/would have been if he had a strong will?
Well, just in terms of chosen ones, so to speak...maybe pierce wanted a strong willed individual that is empathetic, but won't fall into the deep end, no matter the tragedy  (at least not that deep of an end), because it suited his story more, compared to the way Anakin Skywalker was built as a chosen one...
My thoughts:
I personally feel that it’s not so much a question of Darrow having a stronger will than Anakin so much as it is a question of environment and choices. Remember that scene in Golden Son where Darrow leaves Ragnar to decided how to respond to the revelation of Darrow’s true mission, saying that if the Sons hadn’t given him a choice in the whole carving and Institute plan, he would have broken?
Based on my own observations and other analyses I’ve read over the years, Anakin is what Darrow would have been if the Sons hadn’t given him that choice, mixed with the whole “my family comes first, fuck everyone else” attitude that Sevro had early on in Dark Age when Anakin finally breaks.
He’s also a lot like Darrow at the beginning of Golden Son: not sure what his allies want from him and scrambling to hold onto what he can in an environment where he has no one to support him.
While the Sons of Ares sought out Darrow because he had something that made him stand out as a potential candidate for the whole carving plan, the Jedi didn’t even want Anakin to begin with and only took him in because they figured “there’s a Sith running around so if you really are the chosen one I guess we’d better keep an eye on you”. Where Darrow’s allies nurtured his talents as they trained him for the Institute, Anakin had to hide away parts of himself in order to try and fit the Jedi council’s expectations.
Before the war started he was timid and shy because he was trying to be what the Jedi wanted to be, and as a result of growing up in slavery he feared being thrown out if he wasn’t good enough. Once The Clone Wars began, he became more confident and assertive because being a military leader gave him enough authority and fame that he couldn’t be kicked out of the order, but he never felt secure enough that he could feel comfortable leaving when he got fed up with the council.
(I think there may also be a degree of learned helplessness involved, as well as a desire to have it both ways when it comes to his desire to be a Jedi and his illicit marriage)
There are a few other ways that I feel like Darrow could’ve been potentially written as a response to Anakin’s arc in the prequels. But for this specific element, I feel the best way to sum it up is that if the writing of Darrow was influenced by that of Anakin, then it would be in the sense of exploring what someone like Anakin could’ve become if he’d had been allowed more autonomy and agency over what to do with his life after being freed, instead of going from one bad environment to another.
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Hello~ how are you doing? I really like your meta posts about star wars they all cause me emotional damage but also thoughtful.
First I want to say that I'm relatively new to SW fandom and universe. I watched the trilogy a long time ago, but just now that I decided to know more. I watched the movies and series (currently watching tcw animation), besides of what is Disney canon I only have some informations of what happens in the Legends.
Anyway, I said this all because I have this doubt in my mind since I watched the prequels, and this only got stronger when I re-watch the saga. Was Anakin destiny to fall?
And this lead to another doubt, because I don't really know what is determined by the Force or is free choice.
I'm not Anakin apologist. I just fail to recognize a path where he fulfilled the prophecy without falling in the dark side. Tbh, I feel like he always was one step to the dark side, always in the limit... I don't think I'm reading correctly, because in the end, he chose it. Just like Reva chose to not kill Luke.
Anakin chose to follow the dark side over and over. And yet, I still wonder if he really had a choice? Am I being coherent here? Probably not :')
You're definitely being coherent haha! And thank you for this question--I was literally just talking to my friend about this the other day, so I'm glad to have a chance to flesh out my thoughts :)
The whole point of Anakin is that he loves so deeply it's unhealthy and it burns him up from the inside out. He ties himself so deeply to those he loves that he struggles to handle things involving their relationships with him in a reasonable way. These issues stem from his childhood, and they're never adequately addressed; it's likely he never even consciously recognized how dangerously deep his attachments to others ran. This makes him vulnerable to manipulation, which is exactly what Palpatine takes advantage of.
Anakin did make a very distinct choice: he is accountable for his actions and in the end he did know what he was doing. But I don't think that, at least at first, he realized what the root cause of his actions truly was. When he first turns to the Dark Side he's not consciously doing it for selfish reasons--deep down, it is a selfish desire for control and ultimately for power, but in his mind he's doing it because he has to: he is trying to save Padmé's life and overthrow what he views as a corrupt regime.
This persepctive is a direct result of Palpatine's influence. Palpatine groomed Anakin from the time he was a vulnerable and traumatized child through his adulthood. He leveraged his access to Anakin to put himself in a fatherly role in Anakin's life-- someone who he trusts and who seems to be the only one who fully trusts him and his judgement is naturally going to be more appealing to an immature and desperate young man than the often-restrictive Jedi order and the expectations he can never seem to live up to.
Palpatine very intentionally plays into Anakin's heightened impression of his own responsibility and power (caused by his awareness of his status as the Chosen One), and Anakin's simultaneous sense of utter powerlessness and loss (caused by his childhood as a slave, the suddenness of his departure from Tatooine, and the death of his mother) by making it out to be that Anakin, and only Anakin, has the ability and the right to determine how things should be. Not only that, he removes the only support system Anakin has by sending Obi-Wan to Geonosis and framing Padmé as a victim--as Anakin's victim--if Anakin doesn't use his power to save her.
To his credit, Anakin initially resists. He's opposed to Palpatine at first, so Palpatine pulls on Anakin's attachment to him as a father-figure (despite what Anakin had just witnessed) to goad him into killing Mace Windu.
As the lightning arcs across the room, connecting the two men in front of him in a violent and burning display, Anakin watches, his own battle raging inside him. He knows what is right, and in truth he knows he is powerful enough to stop Palpatine. He is the Chosen One. He is fated to bring balance to the Force. He could choose that fate: he could save Mace and stop Palpatine. But Anakin allows what Palpatine offers, and what Anakin himself feels, to blind him to the truth he had just recognized. Choosing the right is choosing to sacrifice what he wants, what he loves, and he will never do that. That scene is a representation of Anakin's internal decision as much as his physical one: in the moment he kills Mace Windu, he chooses to attack the good in himself instead of the evil, and commits himself to the Dark Side.
The tragedy of Anakin's fall is that it could have been prevented, in some other life. If he was protected from Palpatine's influence; if he had been able to see his mother before her death; if he had been shown how his attachment was unhealthy and why, and taught how to love people without making them his entire universe; if he had talked about these things and listened to the counsel he received; then it would have been different. But it would have been different because he would have been different. He was shaped by what happened to him and those around him, and changing those things would have made him into someone who would never have chosen to fall. Who would never have felt like he needed to. Who, perhaps, would never have wanted to. But as it was, he had a furnace in him, and others saw that and stoked the flame, and Anakin chose to let it consume him.
So in the end, it's a both-and situation: what happened to Anakin was both fully Anakin's choice and never only his choice. The circumstances and plans of other people intersected perfectly with the kind of person Anakin was naturally, which was shaped by his childhood experiences, which was shaped in part by the Jedi and in part by simple chance, and Anakin's own determination of the person he wanted to become. Ultimately the final decision was made by him--he recognizes himself that he killed Anakin Skywalker--but it's impossible to assign sole blame to any one party for all the decisions and factors that led him there. That's just how life works: nothing happens in a vacuum, and it's impossible to tell what the tipping point is, because everything is entangled in ways we can't describe. And in that way, I suppose you could call it fate.
But fate is never stronger than will. The true tragedy is that even after all of this, Anakin was presented a way out, through Obi-wan, and he chose not to take it. Who can truly know why we cling to what destroys us? But he did, as so many of us do. He chose a path of suffering and cruelty and death, and he walked that path for many years.
But in the end, he chose to turn around--and so can we. No one is ever truly beyond the point of saving. We always have a choice. And that is what I think is most important of all: no matter why we fall, we can always rise again.
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ocd-kenobi · 2 years
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I was talking to my friends about Star Wars, and one of them brought up Obi-Wan’s arrogance. They said it was one of his faults/failures that played a role in how he failed Anakin. What are your thoughts on this?
I think he is no more arrogant than any Jedi Master we see. I wouldn't use arrogant as a character trait for him, but he buys into the order's shared belief that they are the good guys and can do no evil.
It's also fair to read his absolute faith in Anakin as arrogance. ("I have taught you everything I know.") Maybe even his decision to take on the responsibility of training The Chosen One, despite not even having graduated. Internally, those choices have less to do with self-certainty/arrogance and more to do with self-doubt, guilt, and desperation to prove himself. But objectively, yes, he is in way over his head and still believes it will all be fine (arrogance.) Personally, I think his blind faith and trust in Anakin are more at fault for the fall than his arrogance, and I do not think that faith is the result of feeling like he did a great job of training him.
I have always, always wondered about what Yoda is implying when he makes a comment about arrogance that seems kind if backhandedly aimed at Obi-Wan! I don't really know, and the ROTS novel explained it away without involving Obi-Wan at all. Maybe it seems to me like the comment is about him because he makes it about himself, trying to fit on every criticism he can lol.
Needless to say, I'm sure one of the thoughts keeping cave-Obi-Wan up all night is the thought that he was arrogant. But he is a very unreliable narrator about himself!
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voidartisan · 1 year
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@thenegoteator
I tagged 543 of my posts in 2022
Only 27% of my posts had no tags
#star wars - 240 posts
#sw - 239 posts
#obi wan kenobi - 114 posts
#tcw - 91 posts
#the clone wars - 91 posts
#talking into the void - 61 posts
#anakin skywalker - 52 posts
#satine kryze - 30 posts
#ahsoka tano - 24 posts
#the queen's thief - 24 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#ever since i came up with this i’ve had a concept for a drawing with the ‘onum realia’ ‘realisa onum’ phrases floating around in my brain
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Not to rant about the Jedi as a family again, but it always makes me so happy to think about the smallest younglings insisting on being picked up and as a result, honored, experienced jedi masters having conversations about Very Important Jedi Matters with toddlers hugging their necks and older younglings being delighted that there are jedi from species big enought to keep picking them up almost until they become padawans, and padawans helping escort younglings to ilum and helping teach initiate classes and the younger padawans gathering around the senior padawans to hear all about the adventures they just had on an off world mission and young jedi knights taking on their first padawans being terrified they'll mess something up because this isn't just a class, this kid is now their responsibility. This is their kid now and being comforted and guided by older knights and masters and old grizzled masters taking on apprentices as young as seven and loving them with their whole hearts and younglings seeing a knight or a master or a senior padawan and just knowing that that's going to be their master and creche masters who wave to their initiates who have become padawans as they walk past in the hallway and asking them to step in and help with a class and archivists who encourage their curiosity and help them navigate the temple archives and all the jedi who don't even recognize that lost-looking kid in the corridor but still stop and ask them if they need help or directions and yeah.
917 notes - Posted September 1, 2022
#4
Rewatching the prequels this week was NOT supposed to make me emotional about the jedi order but it was just the way obi-wan walked into the youngling's class and they all paused and said hello and yoda used it as a teaching moment and took the kid's answer seriously and gently poked fun at obi and the fact that jedi masters go by their last names with politicians and dignitaries but all the other jedi including the padawans and the younglings call them by their first names and how when the temple was attacked the younglings ran to the council chambers to find the wisest most powerful members of the order to help them fully believing they would find protection and instructions-
2,024 notes - Posted August 1, 2022
#3
nothing will ever be able to top the fact that Loid proposed to Yor with a pull ring from a grenade. it's literally the best choice anyone could have made when writing that. nothing could be more appropriate and yet completely unhinged out of context.
2,074 notes - Posted August 24, 2022
#2
Obi-Wan learns very quickly that the best way to restrain Anakin when he’s about to run off is to just. Grab his padawan by the neck of his robes and press him against his side so that he can’t get away. Anakin’s too tall and strong for it to work by the time he’s sixteen or so, but his instinct is still to grab the reckless small person and hug them when they need to be stopped.
He doesn’t even give it a second thought when he does it to Ahsoka about three weeks after she enters the picture. She freezes immediately, unsure if she’s supposed to fight back and Anakin laughs so hard he almost falls over.
2,455 notes - Posted October 21, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I think the Jedi council should have at least considered sending obi-wan over to Dooku to be like “yes hello I am here for sith training” just to see what would happen
26,015 notes - Posted October 19, 2022
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It's weird, and alarming, how willing fans are to overlook the clones as being slaves
Yeah we recognise the Stormtroopers as bad, maybe even, as slaves but not the clones
And the clones are arguably worse
Their one job, their one purpose in life is to be soldiers, they were created for that purpose, trained from a young age and artificially aged up to better serve that purpose
They are the result of eugenics made possible with Sci-fi tech
They are already a clear problem for morality before you get to the way they are treated as an army
They aren't given names, their individuality is something they themselves make and yeah the Jedi don't stop them doing this but that doesn't make the Jedi's compliance with the clones situation any better
The Jedi are using genetically engineered people who have been created to be compliant with their overlords and are treated as expendable and the Jedi are happy to do this, happy to have soldiers to fight their war for them
Already pretty problematic but it gets worse
In at least one episode of the Clone Wars, we see a deserter, he is living a life on a farm, in secret and in hiding, Rex and co accidentally discover him when they crash land on the planet and Rex is injured forcing them to look for help
The revelation of a clone deserter is seen as a betrayal of his brothers, the show allows the deserter to argue that he left for his brothers, but his desertion is still seen as something punishable in canon, Rex's decision to not mention him in his report is a conscious one to protect him from punishment by the army and it is implied that it would have gone very differently had there been a Jedi present, maybe not Anakin because he would have likely understood but any other Jedi may have punished the Clone for this
Now, you may be thinking why is that so bad, in real life we also treat people a similar way for desertion from the army so what makes the Republic doing it wrong
Well, first of all, it is a pretty horrendous way to treat people who are no doubt suffering from emotional trauma from war and all that entails, especially when many of them may have been conscripted so not even consented to fighting in the first place. It is done to discourage desertion which could endanger the lives of their fellow soldiers but that doesn't make it right
Second of all, the clones aren't normal soldiers. They have never experienced a life away from war before, their only family is their fellow clones and their only purpose is to fight, their desertion is therefore significantly less likely but being punished for trying to leave is worse, it draws a parallel between them and slaves, they do not own their own lives, they are not allowed to walk away and they have to follow orders
The Jedi, in using them and enforcing this system, consented to the use of slaves, they consented and took part in a slave system
And the defence that Jedi treated the clones well falls on deaf ears, do you really think all slave owners were openly cruel and inhumane or do you think many would have treated them well in an attempt to encourage loyalty, the way they are treated is up to the individual, it makes that individual worse or marginally better than their peers, it does not negate the guilt and part all of the Jedi played in this system of oppression, the Jedi are still guilty and still responsible for owning and enforcing slaves and the slave system
And yeah it was the Senate who voted on this but the Jedi could have refused, it was their choice to use them, the Jedi were not powerless figureheads but actual leaders, with a degree of separation from the Senate which would have allowed them to refuse the Clone troopers
Yet they didn't, they actively choose to use clone troopers and actively made the Senate aware of their existence rather than shutting down Kamino, they choose to place a Jedi as an overseer of the operation making themselves firmly part of the system, and the way they justified this, was it was for the greater good
They were fighting a war the clones had no part in but the Jedi had decided to get involved in, they wanted to lead armies against the droids to oppose the Separatists and the clone troopers, innocents, were recruited and forced to fight as expendable soldiers
The clones had more personality and individuality than droid soldiers but they were treated no better, they were just as expendable
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nevertheless-moving · 3 years
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Suicidal Misunderstanding X
Star Wars Time Travel AU #27
Part I - - - - - Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV - - - - - Part V - - -  - - Part VI - - - - - Part VII - - - - - Part VIII - - - - - Part IX
“I realize this is incredibly difficult,” the Nautolan Soul Healer said calmly. “But in order for us to help Obi-Wan, we need to determine the cause of his current disconnection with reality. Based on the drug panel, and convenient surveillance, we have, to the best of our ability, ruled out temporary psychosis brought on by a drug interaction.”
Cody stiffened further, not sure how to react to anything anymore. When a brother tried to end his own life, it was usually obvious why.
Sife Aerdo continued on. “There have, of course, been cases of Jedi Seers giveing into their fears of the future, or losing their sense of reality, but every case study involving such an extreme reaction was the result a gradual degradation over the course of many years. Nevertheless, it seems clear that Obi-Wan experienced a vision, and it may have impacted his breakdown to some extent. The more we know, the more successful any attempts to convince him of reality will be.”
Bant furrowed her brow in thought, trying to replay three decades of increasingly vague discussions of nightmares.
”Considering the high profile nature of his position, we cannot rule out some kind of psychological attack, perhaps even a darksider incursion.
Anakin leaned forward intently, the inside of his skull buzzing with white noise.
"All that being said, we must be prepared to treat Obi-Wan’s self harm as the  culmination of a long and quiet mental health struggle. He would not be the first in the Order to disguise such a thing with durasteel self-discipline.”
At that, Bant and Mace took a moment to release their feelings to the force, while Anakin raised his shields defensively.
Master Aerdo finally hesitated, before continuing in the same smooth tone. “I would ordinarily prefer to structure this kind of conversation quite differently- allow Obi-Wan time to share his feelings first and invite you each separately to support him in the healing process. But he’s gone from fighting sedatives and force compulsions as though the fate of the galaxy depended on it, to a self-induced coma. All while barely lucid, yet still somehow maintaining Master Class mental shielding. We need to get a better understanding of his mental landscape if we’re going to even begin the process of treatment."
It is necessary to note that everyone in that room had led, in one way or another, a somewhat miserable life. This was the main reason none of them could claim that the next five hours were the worst they had ever experienced. 
“But he’s always had terrible sleeping habits.” Anakin said hoarsely.
“Yes, but I think they got worse after Qui-Gon passed,” Bant argued, not sure what point she was making. 
“When I pointed out he couldn’t be getting more than three hours a night he told me that he could manage on meditation” Cody offered irritably.
“That’s technically true,” Mace confirmed. “If the Master in question is well-balanced otherwise”
“So its like his eating habits, crushing responsibilities, and repeated exposure to violence, then? Completely fine for a Jedi, in less it’s not, in which case it’s a major red flag?” 
“I think it would help to establish a timeline.“
Aerdo actually dredged up old mission reports, leading to the group reluctantly contacting Ashoka for her memories of Mortis.
At her Master’s insistence, she told them everything she remembered, hazy as it was, nervously elaborating on her own memories of falling. To her confusion, Master Windu all but brushed past that, assuring her that the important thing with stepping into darkness was the choice to the return to the light. Anakin bizarrely agreed with Windu. Out loud. Unnerved by the cooperation more than anything, she put her holographic foot down and demanded to know what was going on. 
Anakin took the comm-link into a separate room to speak privately.
Upon return, he informed the group (with a visibly red and puffy face) that Kit would be escorting her back from Mount Cala cleanup early, daring anyone to disagree. Windu nodded and the conversation continued on.
Together they rewatched holo-footage of Obi-Wan laughing amongst Ghost company the night before last, and debated reports from psychometric investigators who had scoured the cantina as well as Obi-Wan’s personal quarters for traces of illicit substances. Between that and another drug panel, they were finally forced to conclude that despite the timing, the alcohol at most confused Obi-Wan’s perception of a vision, or possibly simply loosened his tongue.
Bant prodded Cody to repeat every word from the holocar ride to the temple, taking furious notes. Cody was unable to stop the heat that crawled up his face.
Just when the looming horror of Obi-Wan actually preparing to intentionally die started to break over Anakin, Windu interjected.
“You don’t see what I do,” the Harun Kal said grimly. “Something galaxy-sized shattered around Obi-Wan and he didn’t break from it. The closest comparison I have is Master Yaddle’s presence when she meditated on her confinement. He’s chosen to keep going, even when, quite frankly, death would be a release. We’re missing something fundamental.”
“He said there were ‘other dark forces at work.’ Even if the fight was objectively hopeless... there’s no way he would choose to die because of it!” Anakin agreed vehemently, shaking off morbid fears.
“But he did choose to die.” Cody said quietly. And the wind went out of Anakin’s sails.
“Lets go back.”
Anakin gritted his teeth as they picked apart everything ‘unusual’ Obi-Wan had said and done leading up to his visit with Bant.
“What exactly did he...”
“So Plo Koon was able to get a read through his shields?”
“Did he have anything to eat?”
“How did that compare to...”
“When he's mentioned things in the future...did it seem good or bad to you?” Bant asked.
“Bad.” Cody and Anakin said in unison. Remembering the trip to the temple Cody spoke again, “Definitely bad.”
“Right. When we were talking he sometimes used the wrong tenses for things, people. I confronted him on not knowing ‘when’ he was after Knight Skywalker left. He told me that he knew what was real, but he was “enjoying not fully living in the moment” he also said that he intended to “wake up”
“Enjoying? That’s the exact word he used?” Cody asked incredulous. 
“He did seem...mostly happy yesterday. Giddy, at points.” Anakin said, slumping in on himself.
Bant looked at her notes once more before addressing the group.
“This isn’t vision psychosis in any manner I’ve heard of before...but I think I might have a theory. He used to have intense visions when we were kids; plenty of us did sometimes, but Obi-Wan would be unable to sleep after. What terrified him more than anything was the uncertainty that he might make the wrong choice- even when the vision was about something good, or neutral. His visions gradually stopped coming around puberty. We just had a conversation about this a few months ago- how relieved he was to only have to manage flashes of precognition. If he had a random, horrifying vision of a terrible future...suicide wouldn’t be his reaction. It’s too final.”
“Even if he blamed himself for what he saw coming?” Mace asked.
“Especially if he blamed himself.” Bant said. 
“What’s your theory?” Aerdo prodded.
“What if...what if he was telling the truth when he said he could separate out what was real and what was not? What if there was no distortion or blurring between now and then? What if he was just wrong about which was which?”
“That...would be a very extreme and abnormal manifestation of force-induced psychosis. He has training in distinguishing reality from visions. The continued presence of his mental shielding means that the fabric of his mind can’t be so horrifically collapsed in on itself.” 
“What if the vision was actually that realistic?” Bant said, pushing back against the soul healer. “So detailed and vivid that it effectively was a reality in itself, and everything else, all of us...”
“Were just memories” Anakin finished. “It would...actually explain pretty much everything. You said he wanted to wake up and when...when I found him.” He stopped, swallowing. “When I found him, he argued with me...what if he wasn’t trying to hurt himself? If you’re right...that would mean I found him trying to get back to reality.”
“It could explain his behavior in the halls...his desperation to wake...” Sife mused “But it runs counter to every other experience I’ve had with those managing prophetic visions. Master Windu, could that explain the shatterpoints you saw?”
“I’m not certain. It would have to have been extraordinarily real to create the echos of Shattering I witnessed. I don’t know if that depth of vision has occurred before, but then again, many things are possible in the force.”
“You really think he might have been...trying to wake up from dream? By killing himself?!” Cody asked incredulous.
“If that ends up being what happened I am going to give him such shit. That is the worst way to end a vision.” Anakin replied.
“Yes. It is.” Bant said pointedly. “That’s why it’s a last resort, after every other attempt to wake fails.” 
They all sat in silence, processing various implications. Cody was unnerved by another terrifying insight into force powers, as well as the idea that the General might vividly remember Cody being inexplicably mind-controlled into trying to kill him. Anakin was trying to understand what this would mean for them, and the conversations he had thought they had had. Did...any of it count, if he thought he was offering it to a hallucination?
“Alright, this is a valuable working idea, but let’s make sure to examine everything with an open mind before we draw any more conclusions. Anakin, what happened after you left the healers office?”
Obi-Wan’s critique of the practicalities of visiting a soul healer could be and was interpreted multiple ways. The incongruity of peacekeepers in war sparked a rehash of earlier discussion. More apologies. Self identifying as ‘crazy’ inspired new debate, especially in the context of the new theory. 
“When I saw him enter the fountain room I assumed he had had a brutal run-in with  dark force user.” Windu explained. “Based on everything we’ve gone over, I don’t understand when...but some of the more insidious sith compulsions work by taking whatever small anger or hurt you feel and magnifying them until they consume you. If Obi-Wan was already experiencing self loathing...”
Cody sucked in a breath. “Then a Sith mind suggestion would bring him to commit suicide. It...sounds like something he might do, if he was partially in control. Take the blow rather than let himself be used as a weapon against anyone else, even his worst enemy.”
“Hells, it could have been an even vaguer compulsion, driving him to attack the person he hates the most,” Bant added darkly.
Anakin buried his head in his hands, trying to hold it together. He couldn’t afford to lose control or get angry. Hells, getting angry at Obi-Wan for ‘failing him’ when in pain could be the reason Obi-Wan was currently in the healing halls. The man said he loved him unconditionally, then practically had a breakdown over how much Anakin pushed that unconditional love to the breaking point, then killed himself. How was he supposed to-
“Anakin? Are you alright to continue?” someone said.
“Yes. No. There’s more I have to tell you...I don’t know if it will help but - it was hurting Obi-Wan...I...”
“Let’s just take it one step at a time. What happened after you left Mace?”
Apparently even Cody somehow knew more about Bruck Chun than Anakin. Master Windu and Eerin told different sides of the same sad story, which spiraled back into a conversation about Obi-Wan’s inadequacy issues, which somehow devolved into a long rant about Qui-Gon Jinn that Master Windu had apparently been holding back for years. 
“My apologies.” He said afterwards, clearing his throat as the group stared, taken aback. “Old grievances. Go on Anakin, what did happened after you got to the ‘secret spot.’”
“He...was skirting around whatever was bothering him...I pushed him...told him I wanted to help...he said I couldn’t...because it was me...because of what I...”
Anakin stood up suddenly, feeling the walls of the room closing in.
“I’m sorry- I’m sorry I-” 
He ran out.
He turned around almost immediately, pacing in the small corridor, knowing he couldn’t leave, simply needing a minute to catch his breath.
Master Windu followed him out after a moment, not saying anything, just standing there. Watching him.
“What!” Anakin finally snapped. “What do you have to say that I don’t know already!”
“Knight Skywalker-”
“Don’t call me that! I DON’T DESERVE-” 
Anakin let out a frustrated snarl, punching a wall. The crumble of stone beneath this fist briefly made him feel better, but then he remembered Obi-Wan’s heartbroken expression in the light of an underworldly glow, and the tiny, choked sound he heard when the healers moved him and Anakin just...collapsed, falling to his knees.
Master Windu sank down gracefully beside him.
“Anakin. This isn’t about attachment issues, is it.”
“Not really, no. I mean, maybe you’ll blame attachment but it’s more about...”
“Anger.”
Anakin looked up at that, trying to regain the meditative calm he had felt for a glimmering moment yesterday, right in-between making peace in the cave and everything burning to ash. 
“You know that I have had my own struggles with anger. It is how and why I came to develop Vaapad.” 
“Yes, but you’ve Mastered your anger. And you’ve never...never given in to hate.”
A beat passed and Windu watched some of Skywalker’s familiar breaking points flicker into view. 
“You’ve done something. Something you know the Jedi won’t forgive.”
“Obi-Wan forgave me.” Anakin said, whispering. “He said that even though I couldn’t fix what I did he loved me anyway and I just needed to...to honestly regret what I did and not do it again. I told him I’d get rid of my lightsaber and I meant it and...I thought he forgave me. I was ready to go to the Council with him, come clean about everything. And then I left him alone to get dinner and when I came back...he was holding my lightsaber. My lightsaber.” 
Anakin buried his face in his hands, shuddering with creeping cold.
“I’m not going to critique your and Obi-Wan’s attachment to each other right now. I’m well aware that much of the order has turned to personal ties to maintain their stability given the ongoing horrors of war. I am, for many reasons, wary of the risks this brings us, yet it is also true that risks do not automatically mean failure. I myself have mastered my emotions in a different manner than conventional wisdom councils.” 
Windu spoke carefully. For all that he and Anakin had similar relationships with the force, they rarely saw eye to eye on any given subject. At a certain point, Mace had accepted that the volatile young man was determined to find the worst possible interpretation for anything he said. And Mace was not the order’s most patient diplomat.
“As for your crime, whatever it is, l will tell you this: Unless you choose to renounce the code and leave our number, you will be treated as a Jedi Knight, subject to our protections, as well as our judgement. You will receive appropriate mental counseling. If you are judged to be a danger to those around you, your actions will be curtailed and monitored, possibly through temporary confinement.  The Jedi do not believe in punitive measures for their own sake, but you may be required to provide restitution to those you harmed, perhaps indefinitely. 
Silence hung perilously between them. Windu watched a tremor run through the unfathomable kaleidoscopic of shatterpoints that had orbited Skywalker since he was a boy. A small one broke inward, and an attached tangle of larger, darker ones fell away, crumbling to dust. The rest faded from view, invisible for the moment. A choice had been made, some decision that closed off at least one path to the darkside.
“There’s no one to make restitutions to.”
“...You’re going to have to elaborate on that.”
“Let’s go back inside- I don’t want to do this twice.”
They returned to the increasingly hated meeting room.
Anakin spoke in an outpouring of words about love and hate, about misplaced revenge and now uncertain forgiveness. When he finally finished, the room was deathly silent.
The three Jedi sat quietly while Cody pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess this is why Jedi have the no attachment rule, huh? I admit I never really got it, but I suppose even if I-”
Bant abruptly lunged up, fumbling to bring her lightsaber to Anakin’s neck. Everyone jumped to their feet, except for Anakin, who stared at Bant with a wretched expression.
“MASTER EERIN! This is not-”
“Did you do it?” she asked, ignoring the Master of the Order.
“Bant!”
“It was my first thought after I saw him. We all rushed in expecting a fight, or a bomb, only to find you, insane, and him with a hole next to his heart. I didn’t want to believe it of course, but you’ve always had a violent streak that Obi-Wan, force help him, couldn’t quite soothe away. A fight gone wrong. Master Windu said it was suicide, and I believed him, and I’ve been trying to make sense of that ever since. But Mace found you after, didn’t he? After you felt guilty? Did you think he was going to turn on you?”
“Bant Eerin, you are dangerously-”
“No.” Anakin whispered.
“Obviously I might be why. But I didn’t- I couldn’t. I know I’m not good but I can’t even imagine- holding a saber against him like that. Kriff, do you not get how much I can’t handle losing people I love? I was insane when you saw me because I saw someone trying to kill Obi-Wan and I couldn’t even fight them.”  
Bant held his gaze for several lingering seconds, deactivated her saber and dropping it with a clatter. They stared at each other, breathing heavily and not blinking. She returned to her seat, moving jerkily. “I apologize Knight Skywalker. That was uncalled for.” 
“I wish I could say I wouldn’t have done the same thing in your shoes” he responded lowly. Bant made a tiny, unintelligible noise in reply. 
Cody collapsed back into his chair, holstering his blaster.  “Alright then...so after you finished sitting in the fountain room...what happened next?”
Everyone stared at him.
“What?”
“You’re handling Anakin’s confession somewhat dispassionately. We’re simply surprised.” Mace said slowly, returning to his seat at the same time as Master Aerdo fell into theirs.
Cody shifted uncomfortably. “The vod were trained in a wide range of enemy suppression tactics. While we’re extremely glad the Jedi have never asked us to employ them, I’m not...unfamiliar with this scale of deliberate slaughter. At least in the hypothetical, sir.”
“I see.” Aerdo said. “That is a valuable insight to have, thank you. Knight Skywalker-”
“Just...call me Anakin. Or Skywalker.”
“Anakin. When did this happen?”
“About two years ago, immediately before the First Battle of Geonosis.”
“And have you had any similar experiences with giving into the darkside since?” they asked placidly.
“I don’t think so but...we went to war the next day and....I don’t know if I’ve stopped fighting since it- since I did what I did.”
“Hmm. Anakin, would you mind stepping outside the room and waiting in the corridor for a moment please?” 
He bit his tongue, tasting blood, and quietly walked out the door while the Masters decided his fate. He leaned back against a wall, desperately wanting to see Padme. 
To his surprise, the door opened barely a few minutes later, and he was politely invited back in.
“Anakin.” Master Windu spoke. “Thank you for telling us this. It’s an important insight into Obi-Wan’s feelings right now, and I recognize that you could have kept it a secret. As Head of the Order, and with the advice of a Senior Soul Healer, I have made a decision. You will be assigned a personal soul healer, who you will start seeing tomorrow. Commander Cody pointed out that over nearly two years of continuous warfare, you have maintained some of the the lowest trooper casualty units of any division, by a significant margin if we evaluate based on mission risk level. Your civilian and enemy casualties will be reviewed, but even considering constant war, since your massacre of the Tuskens, you have clearly managed to at least... direct your violence away from the innocent. We do not consider you a threat to the inhabitants of the world. For the time being, I see no real benefit to limiting or tracking your behavior within the temple or on planet, but you are barred from leaving orbit. I have decided to delay a full reckoning before the council until such time that your former Master is well enough to provide his own opinion. Give me just cause, and I will have you confined to a force-suppressing cell. Do you understand?”
Anakin nodded, bowing in acknowledgment. All things considered, it was...honestly better than he expected.
“Now, as Cody” Windu paused. “My apologies, as the Commander was saying-” 
“Cody’s fine, sir” Cody said, wrung out in a way different from anything Kamino had trained him for.
“...I think we can all consider ourselves on a first name basis at this point.” Bant said with a snort. She paused. “That includes you Anakin. I really don’t know how to handle what you did but kark it, I don’t want to hate you. For myself.”
Everyone nodded.
“As Cody was saying, what happened next?”
Peace. Comfort. Hunger. A warning in the force...
-
“I tried to pull the saber back but his finger was already on the igniter...” 
“You probably saved his life. Even a second later-”
“I know, that’s almost the worst part.”
-
“-his neck”
“Why would he change weapons?”
“What if-”
-
“He said what to you and Healer Che?”
“That has to support the detailed vision idea, think about-”
“I’m sorry, Emperor?”
-
“I think we’re done.”
Anakin stared blankly at Sife. “But we didn’t figure anything out.”
“Not conclusively, but we’re unlikely to make any more progress, you’ve given me enough information to preform a meaningful meditative scan, or guide a conversation, should Obi-Wan wake, or navigate through his mind, should we decide to make a more decisive attempt at his shields.”
“Master Aerdo... I leave the final judgement up to you, but I strongly urge you to make a more decisive attempt. I am more convinced now than I was...” Mace glanced at the chronometer “five hours ago that this was motivated by a specific, external stimuli, likely dark. Do you disagree?”
“No.” they said with a sigh. “But I don’t want to underestimate how much underlying factors might have contributed to his response to stimuli, including underlying factors that none of you were aware of.”
The Nautolan Soul Healer stood up, tucking their hands into their sleeves to address the room with classical Jedi serenity. It was a little irritating.
“In any case, we all need to sleep, eat, and meditate. Master Eerin, you have the rest of the day off, I've cleared it with Master Che already. Master Windu, I leave the final judgement up to you, and I am aware that your duties as Master of the Order are unceasing, but I urge you to take some time to center yourself before returning to the council. Commander Cody, I would be more than willing to arrange soul healing for you or any of the Vod, please let me know. Anakin, you will receive a comm later today with further details on your future healing sessions. 
They bowed low, then glided out the door.
Bant stood next, bowed individually to each soul, and sped walked out.
Commander Cody cleared his throat awkwardly, “Mace- what should I tell the troops? We’re supposed to have command briefings later tonight.”
“If anyone asks about General Kenobi, tell them its classified.” I’ll schedule a briefing on the subject. Now go find Captain Rex and take care of yourself, that’s an order.”
Cody saluted, first to the high General, then to Anakin.
Finally it was just Mace and Anakin.
“Is there anyone who you trust who I can call to stay with you.” Master Windu asked.
“I can manage on my own” Anakin replied, not willing to give the Master of the Order anything else he could use against him, even after everything.
Master Windu held back a sigh.
He continued once more, making a deliberate attempt to soften his tone. “Anakin- I know we’ve had our differences, but this is not a trick, nor a trap. You’ve suffered a series of great shocks in the last 24 hours and handled them with immense maturity. I myself am struggling to deal with the emotional fallout.”
Anakin looked up at that, surprised. He didn’t seem to be struggling, but maybe that was what made him a good Jedi Master...
“As I told you before, I am not going to begrudge you the comfort of attachment. I’m rather convinced it would do you more harm than good at this point. I don’t want you flying right now, and you don’t have to be alone. I hope we have come to a better understanding today, but I doubt my presence is suddenly a comfort, though please correct me if I’m wrong. Now is there someone I can call?”
-
Padme ended her call with Master Windu extremely discomfited. She had barely heard from Anakin since he ran out on her the night before last to take care of an apparently extremely drunk Obi-Wan. He had messaged her a few times that night, promising to make it up to her, but had been comm-silent since. She had been starting to get worried, and now the Master of the Order was asking her to pick him up from the temple. Fortunately, she had already cleared most of her meetings for the week well in advance (Courascant leave usually meant THEM time, not that she was jealous of Obi-Wan, of course).
The speeder ride back from the temple was silent. All Anakin would say was that he would explain everything once they were in ‘a secure location.’ 
The door to the apartment had scarcely closed behind them when Anakin fell into her arms, shaking.
“Anakin, talk to me love, what’s wrong?” She gently guided him to the couch, arranging him so she could hold him protectively.
“Obi-Wan tried to kill himself.”
She let out a harsh gasp, “No! He can’t have, he would never-” 
“I got to him in time, but Padme... he was holding a lightsaber to his heart. It was...really close” He burrowed deeper into the folds of her dress, and she gripped him fiercely.
“Oh gods, is he-”
“He’s physically healing, but he’s still...not all there. I spent all of today locked in a room, trying to figure out if it was a Sith Attack, or an insane vision, or..or me”
“Anakin! What do you mean ‘me’ - Obi-Wan loves you, you-”
“I know.” Anakin interrupted her again, knowing he was being unfair; he was just too exhausted to be patient.
“He told me loved me. He...he...found out about what I did to the Tusken village, You should have seen his face, Padme, he was horrified, but he still told me he loved me, and he was willing to forgive me, even though he shouldn’t”
“Of course he forgave you,” Padme whispered. “You’re not a monster, Anakin, I know you would never do something like that again.”
"And then after we talked, I left him alone and he-” Anakin choked out into her dress.
Tears ran down her face, heart breaking. “That’s- that’s horrible. Anakin...it must have have been a attack, Obi-Wan wouldn’t do that.” she said urgently.
He pulled away, horrified. “I made you cry. I made Obi-Wan cry too. I’m sorry- Padme please, promise me you won’t-”
She grabbed the sides of his head. 
Her nails bit into the soft skin behind his ears as she pulled him down so they were face-to-face, vowing, “Never. I swear by the force itself, I will never choose death over life.”
He let out a relieved sigh, eyes fluttering closed.
“Now you,” she demanded
“As long as I have anyone to live for, I swear by the force, I will never choose death over life.”
She pulled him the rest of the way in for a bruising kiss. He lifted her, and they desperately clung at one another as he carried her to bed. They continued like that, clinging and grasping, until exhaustion carried him to sleep. She pulled the covers over top them both and curled around him defensively as the day slowly faded away.
Part XI
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dalekofchaos · 3 years
Text
Rey’s lack of motivation and stake in the Sequel Trilogy
I have a question to ask you. What are Rey’s motivations? What are her wants and goals and why is she even drawn to the conflict between The First Order and The Resistance?
Rey’s motivations in the Sequels.
Rey wants to find her parents.
Wants to bring back Luke Skywalker
Rey wants to find her place 
Wants Ben to return to the light
Has no real motivation to be on either side of the conflict, but chooses The Resistance anyway
Says she wants to kill Palpatine in cold blood, was close to giving in
Now she chose to fuck off to Tatooine and we see very little in her motivation to do....ANYTHING
Let’s compare Anakin and Luke’s motivations.
What are Anakin's motivations?
Wants to leave a life of slavery and come back and free his mother
Wants to become a Jedi and become a hero
Wants to protect Padme
Wants to save Obi-Wan
Wants to stop Dooku and end the war before it can begin
Wants to be a good master to Ahsoka
Wants to clear Ahsoka’s name
Wants to stop the war
Wants to save Padme and his children's lives at the cost of the Jedi and doing whatever it takes and becomes Darth Vader
What are Luke’s motivations?
Luke is a farm boy who dreams of leaving his mundane life.
Luke discovers that his father -unlike what his uncle told him, was a heroic Jedi Knight
Luke, is reluctant and refuses the ‘call to adventure’, but after the Empire murders his Aunt and Uncle, he decides to Join Obi-Wan on the quest.
Save the Princess
Luke is angered by Obi-Wan’s death at the hands of Darth Vader, and seeks retribution.
Destroy the Death Star and save the Rebellion
To be trained by Yoda
Save Han and Leia
Luke discovers his father, the heroic Jedi, is none other than Darth Vader. After years of training, he sets out to redeem his father and turn him back to the light.
After the redemption of his father and fall of the Empire, Luke goes on a journey to restore The Jedi Order
Compare Rey and Luke’s journeys in ANH and TFA. Rey wanders around and stuff is handed to her. Luke takes initiative and works for what he has. Let's compare ANH with TFA
Luke screws up on watching R2, then chooses to chase him down. He makes another mistake by spying on the Tusken Raiders instead of getting the hell out of dodge. This leads to him being knocked out, and rescued by Ben Kenobi.
Luke initiates the meeting with Ben Kenobi, and it happens because of his early bad decisions.
His aunt & uncle are killed, but thanks to his screw-up with R2 & the raiders, he and the droids are spared.
He chooses to follow Kenobi to Alderaan instead of staying on Tattooine.
He chooses to accept Kenobi's instruction in the ways of the Force, even though most people think it's a myth and a joke. Even though he's bad at it and doesn't seem to get any results at first.
He makes the decision that they're going to rescue Leia, potentially dooming their escape from the Death Star. This sets off a chain of events that leads to Kenobi's death.
Then he chooses to help fight the Death Star, even though he's not a member of the rebellion. He was offered a job with Han, and he could have ensured his safety by leaving with them. Instead he chose certain death.
Finally, he chooses to trust a literal voice in his head instead of the targeting computer.
Let's contrast that with Rey.
BB-8 runs into her. She tries to send him away, but relents and lets him follow her home.
She chooses not to sell him for food.
Finn wanders into camp on his own initiative.
The camp is attacked because BB-8 is there. The camp would have been attacked no matter what Rey did. The other scavenger was, I'm pretty sure, from the same camp. And if she'd sold him, BB-8 would also have still been in the camp.
She is forced to take the Millennium Falcon when the ship she wanted to use was blown up.
She chooses to go with Finn and bring BB-8 to the Rebellion Resistance.
She stumbles upon Luke's lightsaber, and runs away from it.
She accidentally runs into Kylo Ren while hiding in the forest.
He chooses to kidnap her because he senses something special about her.
After her first exposure to the Force, she learns how to use some of it, successfully, and escapes from Ren. And to her credit, escaping and trying the Force out is a choice she made, rather than something that passively happened to her.
Then she, um, is standing there when Han is killed.
She chooses to fight Kylo Ren, and beats him in her first lightsaber battle after closing her eyes and thinking about the Force.
She sort of chooses to go summon Luke back to civilization - I say sort of because it's not clear why she was picked to go over, say, Leia.
Luke makes mistakes, and he is an active participant in his story. Rey is just kind of there, most of the time. She doesn't make mistakes, but she doesn't really do much else.
Rey has no personal stake in this war or motivations and she’s supposed to be the main protagonist.
Rey has never left Jakku before TFA and she tells Han that ”she never knew so much green existed” when they go to Maz’s castle.
In other words Rey must have had very limited knowledge of the world outside of Jakku and all she has heard from it are stories.
Rey who barely knows anything about the rest of the galaxy, to the point that she didn’t even know that forests existed what exactly is her personal stake in the current galactic conflict?
In TFA we saw The New Republic’s capital systems blown up by Starkiller Base and we never saw a reaction from Rey. We do see Finn and Han’s reactions. Also worth noting about Rey is that if she was unconscious throughout her involuntary travel to the Starkiller Base she was never actually aware of the Starkiller Base until just before Han, Finn and Chewie started planting the explosions in order to sabotage it.
Luke, while he had no personal attachments to Aldeeran did actually get to see the horrible aftermaths of it’s destruction.
But Rey was barely affected by the destruction of the Capital systems. Most characters were not as affected as they should have been in my opinion but we didn’t even get to see her have an emotional reaction to it.
This was probably the greatest genocide in Star Wars history and our main heroine is unaffected by it? Finn has a reaction to it and he’s supposedly NOT the main protagonist?
Rey really has no reason to care about the state of the galaxy. She only seems to care if people she knows are in danger.
The fact that she is supposed to be our main hero of this trilogy when she has next to no personal stakes in the well-being of the rest of the galaxy feels wrong to me.
Finn actually has stakes in this conflict since the FO took his family and childhood away from him and Poe has stakes because he actually lives in the New Republic and doesn’t want it to be under FO’s rule. Yet neither Finn nor Poe are considered the main protagonist? But oh wait, I forgot we can’t have a black or Latino man be the leading protagonist in Star Wars
The more I think about it is Rey has no goals or agency as a protagonist. She’s just whatever the plot demands her to be. Rey doesn’t actively take the initiative and make decisions, and simply react to the world around her. There is never a reason given as to why she wants to be a Jedi. Sure, she’s heard the stories about them, but she doesn’t dream to be one like Anakin, and the writers are so obsessed over her parents that they never develop any other motivation besides that. She has to be strung along the story so she can take part in it, hence she is repeatedly chased and kidnapped throughout TFA to get her to the Resistance where she decides to find Luke because she has nowhere else to go. Part of the reason she doesn’t even train with Luke is because she has no reason to, as she’s just supposed to find him. Rey joins the fight simply in reaction to learning that Luke is responsible for Ben’s fall. She’s only ever a Jedi and a member of the Resistance out of necessity- she has no where left to go and has to fight in self defense- so they try hamfist in some motives that she needs to stop herself from becoming like Palpatine but there is no tension as it’s the final act. By the end of the trilogy it’s not even clear if the Jedi Order will return because Rey never seems to want to be one and we can only assume they will return for meta reasons- because the audience knows the ST is a copypasta of the OT.
What exactly was Rey’s motivation for getting involved in the Galactic conflict before TROS? Luke was told that his father was killed by Darth Vader and later his family gets murdered by the empire so he had personal stakes to get involved in the conflict.
Anakin was a Jedi and had lived in the Republic for ten years by the time of the Clone Wars begun so he had personal reasons to get involved in the conflict.
Rey meanwhile grew up so isolated of Jakku that she had no idea forests existed and she didn’t lose anything and the FO attacked her on Jakku. In fact she wanted to return to Jakku after she had dumped BB-8 with the Resistance. Her primary motivation in TFA was to reunite with her family but the movie never establish that her family’s absence was connected to the galactic conflict in any way.
That connection isn’t established until TROS so what was her motivation until than? The Death of Han? A guy she had known for two hours? Finn? A guy she also had maybe only knew for about two hours total by the time of their hug in TLJ? Also she seemed to have completely forgotten about Finn by the time she want on a quest to redeem the guy that has far as she should have known by that point was still in a coma with his spine permanently damaged because of Kylo.
Rey’s motivation seems to either be finding her family or her dealing with her existential crisis neither had much of a connection with the galactic conflict until TROS
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vagrantblvrd · 3 years
Text
AU where Luke and Leia are the children of the queen of Naboo and powerful and well-respected Jedi Knight, just about the age to marry and it’s this Responsibility hanging over their heads.
Their parents would never marry them off to someone horrible, but that’s not the point, and anyway, anyway, they know their duty.
(It breaks their parent’s hearts, but barring the same sort of Very Specific and Unique events that conspired to allow Padme to marry Anakin the best they can hope for is to like their future spouses, so.)
But then!
Conspiracies and the whatnot, and whispers of war spreading across the galaxy thanks to some faceless warlord pulling strings from the shadows and so on.
Worlds that co-existed, thrived, suddenly at one another’s throats and out of fear for their children’s safety they arrange for them to visit dear friend Bail and Breha on Alderaan.
(There’s meant to be a celebration, eligible suitors for Luke and Leia while keeping them far from skirmishes that have taken place too close to Naboo.)
Unfortunately Leia gets sick just as they’re about to leave, nothing too worry over, lose sleep over, but travel would only make it worse so she’s to stay behind while Luke and leaves for Alderaan on schedule.
(He visits her, the night before he leaves. Sneaks into her rooms the way he used to when they were younger and supposed to be asleep hours ago but young and foolish and the kind of reckless rebellion of the young and so on.
Leia’s tired, still recovering but she still manages a smile, a laugh, when Luke tumbles in through the window a though their parents haven’t been training them since they were young.
Politics, of course, but their father is a Jedi Knight and their mother is the queen, and anyway, anyway, any clumsiness they show these days are deliberate, so.
They talk, aware this may be one of the rare chances they’ll get like this again, what with their duties and responsibilities and privileged as they are the universe is far from fair.
Luke smiles, jokes, but there’s a flat tone to it that Leia hears all too clearly and Luke -
“I have a bad feeling about this,” he says, wry twist to his mouth.
It’s a childhood joke borne of the stories their father and his former mentor would tell them at bedtime, well-worn phrase that heralded the kind of adventure that made them into legends, and now -
Leia grips Luke’s hands tight in hers because she does as well, dread a heavy weight in her chest.
“Don’t go,” she tells him, knowing he has no choice in the matter. “Luke, please.”
It’s on her face, in her voice, her yes, and there’s nothing they can do.
So.
Luke smiles, jokes, reminisces with Leia about the adventures they had running around the palace and its grounds and causing no end of trouble to their minders when their parents were busy until Leia falls asleep and Luke slips out the window and back to his own rooms without waking her.)
Leia knows long before word reaches Naboo that Luke’s ship was attacked in transit, all hands lost.
(Knows when their father senses it too, his rage and grief enough to send her to knees, draw the tears she refused to shed until then. She’s Force-sensitive, yes, but her father and brother are stronger, and if he’s so certain Luke is gone, then there’s no hope left for her.)
BUT THEN.
Luke’s not dead, of course he’s not, what kind of story do you think this is?
As it turns out, Luke’s ship was attacked, but one of his guards, escorts, manages to get him to an escape pod and away from the ships painted to look like one of Naboo’s allies turned jealous and bitter and angry over years and some insult or other.
(Conspiracies on conspiracies and so on.)
Lands on a planet, rocky and desolate and very much alone, injured.
Stumbles out of the escape pod, emergency supplies held tight in hand and absolutely certain he can’t stay there. Can’t wait for rescue to come, not knowing if whoever attacked his ship might find him first and finish the job that claimed his ship and the lives of people he’s known since he was young.
Manages to get a decent ways away from the escape pod before exhaustion and his injuries lay him low.
Cave in the distance he might be able to seek shelter in, assuming there are no native predators or otherwise living there, and he almost, almost makes it before he passes out.
Comes to however many hours later to a voice he doesn’t know pitched low and annoyed, but the hands checking him for injuries - he hopes, would be the worst luck to be robbed, looted, after recent events - are surprisingly gentle.
“What?”
Luke said that out loud, didn’t he.
“...Yes.”
Luke would laugh if it didn’t feel as though his head might burst, result of his skull meeting with a bulkhead at inadvisable speeds, and that had happened before the escape pod landed, so.
“Sorry,” Luke mumbles, because he does have manners. “But if you are robbing me I’m afraid I don’t have much to offer.”
There’s a long pause then, whoever is there with him so still Luke has a moment to wonder if they’ve left, offended by Luke’s words or disappointed he’s not worth robbing and then -
“Hmm.”
Luke frowns, risks opening his eyes and sees a kneeling beside him, oddly shiny.
“’Shiny’.”
Luke squints, tries to make out the figure, but it’s difficult as there seem to be two of them, and -
“I think I might have a concussion,” Luke informs the oddly shiny figure, and passes out again.
Later, however many hour later, he comes to with that same annoyed voice in his ears, but now there’s a fire merrily burning.
Nice, because it’s nighttime now, and cold and -
“You’re awake.”
As far as observations like that go, it’s incredibly unimpressed.
“Hmm,” Luke hmms, fuzzy memory of his oddly shiny companion doing the same, and also Luke being a natural-born smartass,
(Hereditary, he’s been told, along with stubbornness and fondness for eschewing things like common sense and a flair for the dramatic.)
There’s a sigh, long and heavy, and then the sound of the oddly shiny person moving closer, shadow falling over Luke that he can’t see with his yes closed the way they are, but, well.
His father is a Jedi Knight and he and Leia take after him in noticeable ways.
Luke opens his eyes and thinks oh, and hmm, and Leia is going to kill me, because his companion is indeed oddly shiny.
Or, well.
Perhaps not so odd, what with the armor and all.
Din - because of course it’s Din - is super unimpressed with Luke and his everything and Luke is just ??? because Mandalorian???
Not known to be BFFs with Jedi or Jedi-in-training, like Luke???
But Din can be excused for not partaking in this old feud/rivalry/animosity between them because Luke isn’t dressed as it befitting someone of his position, no.
He’s wearing the clothes he prefers on long trips when the are no other dignitaries along because to start with, they’re comfortable? But also Luke likes to tinker??? Little projects and such and maybe his father sent along a speeder or some other tinker-able vehicle to keep Luke occupied on the trip, use when he gets to Alderaan or...whatever.
Doesn’t look like the royalty, especially after recent events, and nothing to mark him as the prince of Naboo, or a Jedi-in-training and sworn enemy of the Mandalorians, and really, it’s incredibly, amazingly convenient, but it is what it is.
Din grumbles and complains, but he stays with Luke until he’s able to stand on his feet and even walk a fair distance without falling on his ass, and sighs when Luke invites himself along later that day when he says he has business elsewhere,
And then the two of them traveling to...somewhere, Din didn’t volunteer that information and Luke was too grateful to be headed away from where his escape pod crashed and potential search parties (doesn’t feel like trusting to the fact they’d be friendly towards him) and so on.
Doesn’t chatter incessantly as the annoyed set of Din’s shoulders heavily imply, because Luke is still injured and while his head isn’t an agony at the moment, it’s hardly a joy to deal with.
But, he does talk.
A lot.
About everything and nothing, off on a tangent here, there, wander far and wide the better to annoy Din into forgetting what questions he asked Luke. (The ones asking who he is, how he got there, and where the hell he’s going next, because Din’s patience lasts only so long.)
To Dins quiet horror, however, he actually starts to like Luke???
Like.
Annoying, yes, with the talking? But he doesn’t complain about all the walking they’re doing, or sleeping conditions when they make camp for the night and so on.
And, alright, sometimes it does get a bit lonely out here - conveniently far enough away from settlements or cities where someone would definitely recognize Luke - but he doesn’t tell Luke that, goodness no.
They run into trouble, after a while.
People who took part in the attack on Luke’s ship and other baddies on Mandalore connected to them and it’s a matter of bad luck meeting worse luck, and anyway, anyway.
There’s a fight, and some guns with the pew-pew shootout and Luke being the one to save Din’s life, escaping with him to some abandoned mine or underground tunnels, something and -
“Ah,” Luke says, breathless from the running and hiding and saving Din’s life and then hauling him somewhere that was supposed to be safe, even with the help of the Force.
(His head is killing him again, nowhere near healed enough to expend as much effort as he has just now, but it that or die, and he’d rather not get Din killed as well since the man’s only shown him kindness - and his special brand of charm - and anyway. Yes.)
He’s expecting it to be the people who ambushed them, but to his surprise, wariness, dread, it’s a Mandalorian. (Armor’s a dead giveaway and all.)
One who cocks their head when they see Luke’s face, blaster dipping slightly at the sight of him.
Luke tries for a smile, but Din groans, low, pained, and the best Luke was able to do was check the wound wasn’t life-threatening and slap a patch-job bandage over it before they made a break for it, and -
“I don’t suppose it would be asking too much if you had medical supplies, would it?” Luke asks, expecting to get shot for his trouble - sass, snark - but the Mandalorian holding them at blaster-point huffs out a laugh and holsters said blaster.
Jerks their chin towards a side tunnel and strides off, clearly expecting Luke to follow, and after a moment’s hesitation - no way to know if the Mandalorian is taking them to their deaths - but no better option available to them, so Luke follows.
(Murmurs an apology to Din when he groans again, guilt heavier than Din’s arm slung over his shoulder, the weight of Din and his armor, knowing he wouldn’t be in this situation if he’d left well enough alone after stumbling on Luke. So.)
Mystery!Mandalorian leads Luke to a room with medical supplies stored neatly. Clean and well-lit and after getting permission - nod of Mystery-Mandalorian’s head and wave of their hand that seems more amused than mocking - Luke sets about properly treating Din’s injuries.
Fumbles a bit, because Luke’s still injured himself, over-extended himself in the earlier fight, and it’s catching up to him now they’re somewhere arguably safe.
(No one actively trying to kill them, anyway.)
Mystery!Mandalorian watches as Luke tries to et his hands to stop shaking - stress, injury, exhaustion, any of a dozen reasons and he swears, low under his breath because now isn’t the time -
He startles when Mystery!Mandalorian takes the medical supplies out of his hands, didn’t notice him moving close enough to do so, and allows the hand on his shoulder that guides him into sitting on a stool as they do for him what he can’t in that moment and looks after Din.
Watches quietly, closely, but Mystery!Mandalorian knows what they’re doing, and truthfully Luke knows if they intended them harm there would easier ways, more efficient ones than this.
So.
He watches Mystgery!Mandalorian tend to Din’s injuries, and blinks up at them stupidly when they turn back to him, head tilted just so.
“What?” Luke asks, and Mystery!Mandalorian huffs out a laugh, quiet breath of laughter and then it’s Luke’s turn to be treated.
Careful, gentle hands and Luke’s mind drifts while Mystery!Mandalorian cleans and dresses a blaster burn on his shoulder, graze courtesy of a shot he hadn’t seen coming, attention on Din instead and he knows if it were a normal (...somewhat) normal situation he’d get a lecture on that lapse.
(A lecture, his father’s face stern, and under it worry, concern for him Luke’s never doubted, and after that his mother and quiet, soft words interwined with the same firece love his father has for his children. .)
As it is...
“Thank you,” Luke says, hopes Mystery!Mandalorian hears the things he can’t find the words for, the gratitude he feels.
Mystery!Mandalorian studies him for a long moment, Luke returning their regard best as he can even as he feels his mind going slow, stupid, as exhaustion rolls over him.
He can feel Mystery!Mandalorian watching him, them, unexected guests, visitors, complications, and there’s another sigh.
A gesture towards an unoccupied medical bed, slight tilt of his head that feels of that same brand of amusement from earlier.
Luke eyes it longingly because he’s tired, isn’t he, too much happening in too short a period of time and this feeling in the back of his mind that something is happening.
Whispers and rumors building towards something catastrophic if left unchecked and murmurs though the Force he’s known all his life.
“Rest,” Mystery!Mandalorian says, gentle, kind. “I’ll keep watch.”
It shouldn’t be a reassuring as it is, shouldn’t feel like Luke is breathing his first full breath since the alarms on his ship started wailing, intangible dread he’d felt once they left Naboo’s made real.
And yet...
There’s something about Mystery!Mandalorian he can’t help but trust, and Luke’s mind is tired, muddled, clear thought a struggle but the way the Force coils around them is enough to set his mind at ease.
“Thank you,” Luke says, and the words aren’t enough to articulate what he means, but it seems to be understood anyway.
He makes his way to the medical bed, and it isn’t long until he falls asleep, swears he hears Mystery!Mandalorian say, before he does, strangely soft, fond.
“You really are just like your father, aren’t you?”, and with no little amusement, “Skwalkers.”
And then shenanigans???
Luke waking up to Din staring at him from his own medical bed, at a loss regarding their situation, everything, and annoye (at himself???) about it, because Luke saved his life, didn’t he?
Saved it, and saved it again by getting them to safety and out of the hands of whoever attacked them, and that’s about the time Mystery!Mandalorian shows up, and Din is -
Not thrilled???
Doesn’t recognize the armor, person, regarding the two of them with this underlying amusement. (It rankles, that amusement, leaves him wrong-footed.)
Still, he follows Luke’s lead when he insists Mystery!Mandalorian is a friend - “Well,” Luke allows, at the look Din gives him when he says that. “He hasn’t tried to kill us. Yet.”
Which.
Fair, if not a ringing endorsement, but it’s not like they have much choice in the matter when Mystery!Mandalorian tells them to follow them, and off they go.
Underground tunnels and such until they get to some sort of base.
Other Mandalorians and Din is like oh, no, because these ones he does recognize.
“Resistance,” he says to Luke who’s picked up on his unease, gaze flicking to Din’s behind Mystery!Mandalorian’s back as they’re led down corridors to meet with what must be leadership.
Because Mandalore and unrest and that same something Luke’s known about his whole life and the way it affects the universe around him and just, yes.
Mystery!Mandalorian cocks his head as the lift they’re on descends, listening in, and still that amusement.
“Indeed,” he says, and something about it snaps Luke’s attention to him, makes Din...wary.
Just as well the lift stops, doors sliding open and then more corridors that seem to go on forever until they reach a set of doors.
Mystery!Mandalorian glances back at them for a moment, and huffs a quiet laugh at whatever he sees, and then they’re pressing forward.
It’s...not what he was expecting.
An office of some kind, with a holomap table off to one side and monitors and consoles beside it. A stripped down version of the control room they passed by floors down, and a slight figure in armor, head bowed over the holomap table.
Mystery!Mandalorian clears their throat, a courtesy, and the armore figure lifts their head, looks over at Luke and Din.
At Mystery!Mandalorian, and there’s a look exchanged between the two, silent conversation before Mystery!Mandalorian glances at Luke and Din again.
Sighs, and reaches up to remove their helmet, crooked smile on their - his face - at the way Luke goes so, so still beside Din.
Silence stretches long enough for Din to feel it, the weight of the revelation even if he doesn’t understand it.
“Hello, Luke,” he says, tired, aching.
Sharp inhale, and Luke tears his eyes away from Mystery!Mandalorian to look at Din, something so very wrong with the smile on his face.
“It’s Ben,” he says, and his voice cracks as he looks back at Mystery!Mandalorian, laughs at something Din doesn’t understand, something that makes Mystery!Mandalorian wince, even as he holds Luke’s gaze when he looks back at him. “Old Ben.”
Din frowns, because the man is older than them, Luke, that much is certain, but surely not old enough to have earned a title like that.
Because, look, alright.
Look.
Obi-Wan and sekrit missions because everyone knows trouble’s brewing, and a duchess of Mandalore contacted Padme, and things kind of just. Grew from there, to the point Obi-Wan went to Mandalore as an emmisary, ostensibly for political reasons, but really to help root out what information he could with Satine’s help and things went wrong.
Had him, and Satine, presumably killed in an uprising, no longer a threat to an unknown enemy.
Until the resistance took root, grew, and other such things.
Satine and Obi-Wan at the head of it, getting what information back to Padme, Anakin they could and everyone agreeing it was best for the time being if they stayed dead.
And then Luke’s ship being attacked and everything that followed, and anyway, anyway welcome to the resistance Luke Skywalker and friend, glad to have you.
Luke is understandably confused, angry at having been left in the dark, and angrier still that he has to admit to the necessity of it.
(He understands, but he’d still mourned for Obi-Wan, his father’s former mentor, teacher, and beloved uncle to Luke and Leia. He understands.)
And then there are briefings, because it’s very much a war the resistance is waging, against a common enemy and while Luke pay close attention to everything he and Din are told, he watches Obi-Wan, Satine.
Thinks oh, of course, when it hits him why the way the two of them interacts seems strangely familiar, known, because it’s the way his parents are, isn’t it?
Familiarity and trust, a knowing, and that little knot of anger buried deep in his chest at the deception involving Obi-Wan’s supposed death all those years ago unravels until he’s no longer breathing around it.
And then!
Shenanigans in which Din very much tries to NOT be part of this madness, because no, okay, no.
Simple bounty hunter and so on, and Luke don’t look at him like that, it won’t work -
So of course that’s when things go to hell and the base is attacked and Luke is taken and Din finds himself staring “Old Ben” down in the aftermath because this may not be his war to fight, but Luke is an idiot.
“Well,” Obi-Wan says, corner of his mouth quirking. “He does take after his father that way.”
Dramatic Rescues and Dine being So Done with everything, but also, like. Being heroically injured by shielding Luke and Luke’s pale face and fear in the back of his eyes as he leans over Din to keep him from bleeding out.
Striving for calm, soothing Din in between yelling for help, Obi-Wan and the others on their way, and Din laughing at him because he was told Jedi didn’t panic.
“Shut up,” Luke says, laugh all wrong. “I thought nothing could get through Mandalorian armor?”
Well.
Things go fuzzy for a bit, Din remembers pain and blood and yelling - a lot of that - and then he wakes up in a medical center somewhere.
Not the resistance base, but he doesn’t recognize it.
“Idiot,” is the first thing he hears, and then, “Stupid,” and so on, and when he turns his head Luke is glaring at him.
He must make for a terrible Jedi, Din thinks, because Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachment, are they?
Dangerous, terrible, and yet.
“You are, yes,” Din says, voice haorse, more of a croak, and when he laughs at the affornted look Luke gives him for that it hurts - still healing and all - but so very worth it.
And then, okay, and then.
It comes out that Palpatine has been building a base of power for himself for years, slow patient, and setting his enemies at one another’s throats to weaken them.
Conspiracies on conspiracies and Din watches Luke as his father - his father, mother, and sister who hasn’t left Luke’s side since they arrived - tell them.
(Because, you know, because. Luke’s family and secrets weighing heavy and of course, of course Leia would not be held back, would not just let Luke’s death go so easily.
Would investigate, relentless, until she stumbled over everything and her parents and a shared look and she gets it from you, you know, and me? you have to be kidding, and I get it from both of you, now tell me what’s going on right now.
Adventures, because Skywalkers. A chance meeting with a scruffy smuggler and his long-suffering Wookie friend, and a rickety, rusty freighter
.Hey, that’s no way to talk about a lady, and as if you’d know, and don’t encourage them, Padme, and Of course not, Anakin, and heavy, resigned sighs because Leia has always been terrifying like her mother and somehow more stubborn.
A resistance - “Rebellion,” Obi-Wan says, glint in his eye when Anakin looks at him, “seems more fitting don’t you think?” - growing as well in secret.
Both brought into the light with recent events and untold battles ahead, and just.
It’s a lot.
“Thought I’d find you here,” Luke says, and Din doesn’t tense at his voice, quiet, something sad to it under his amusement.
Din hmms, glances towards Luke.
So much has happened since they meet, learned of things far bigger than them, and still -
“We’re meant to be enemies,” he says, a Mandalorian to a Jedi, albeit one still in training if what Luke told him is true.
Luke cocks his head, and still crosses the clearing to sit beside him.
Hmms, right back at Din and Din bites back a sigh, watching Luke from the corner of his eye.
With everything that’s happened, they’ve learned, the old grudge seems petty in comparison.
Also, Obi-Wan and Satine, and it hardly seems important anymore, long before his time as it was, and while Luke’s certainly many things, he’s never felt like an enemy.
They sit in companionable silence for a while, calm, cool of the night and so much between them they don’t have words for yet, and none of it unwelcome.
When Luke gets to his feet, holds his hand out to Din, he doesn’t have to think about it when he takes it. Lets Luke pull him to his feet with that surprising strength of his, and falls into step with him just as easily.
And then they have Adventures and death-defying shenanigans and such. Steal kisses here and there and never put a name to this thing of theirs, but it’s strong enough to last through a war and to the other side of it.
Would-be Empire scattered and broken and a good bounty hunter’s experience is invaluable in stamping out the remnants.
Almost as much as a Jedi Knight who earned their title through countless battles and conflicts, steady familiar presence at his side.And really, really, it shouldn’t surprise him so much when Luke gives him this soft little smile when Din comes home after a solo mission, small green gremlin of a kid he’d found (rescued) in his arms and knows their little family has gained another member.
(And again and again, because Luke’s just as bad as him and Finn and Rey are fine on their own, but Grogu? An absolute nightmare and evil mastermind and Din doesn’t care what Luke says, the small green gremlin child gets it from Luke’s side of the family.)
Also, though.
The day Finn and Rey met Poe (Ben a little confused, bemused, blissfully unaware of what he was witnessing) signaled the beginning of the end and Luke is absolutely laughing at Din, don’t think he doesn’t know what that looks like by now. >:(((((((((((((((((((((((((
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jennana501 · 3 years
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Attachment and the Jedi Way
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SPOILERS FOR THE MANDALORIAN AND STAR WARS REBELS
I always know a story is quality when what I want to say about it to my mother and sisters is too difficult to text, and I have to drive over and talk with them in person. Such was the case when I watched the Mandalorian Chapter 13. There were so many juicy details, plot developments, and general excitement about the long awaited appearance of one of our favorite Star Wars characters that I couldn’t stand being restricted by phone when I wanted to gush a million things. We were all so stunned with the emotion of her appearance. Truly a moment I will remember for the rest of my life. 
But after all the sweet outer frosting on the Chapter 13 cake had been licked clean, I dove into the center of this delectable episode and began to savor in its indulgent but substantial core. I have many thoughts about Thrawn, where Rex can be (is he dead or alive?) and where the season is going to go from there. What has interested me the most is Ahsoka’s reaction to our newly named green baby friend, Grogu. 
First I must say how much I love Rosario Dawson’s performance. I feel she knows who Ahsoka is and what she has gone through. I am reminded of little ‘Soka in her very first appearance in the Clone Wars animated movie when she takes care of the way less loveable baby Hutt. Seeing that she is  charmed by Grogu and that she clearly thinks he is cute makes me feel all sorts of warm fuzzies. Their very mythical and silent conversation in the moonlight shows how in tune with the force Ahsoka has become and that Grogu himself is much more than meets the eye. 
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And yet when it comes to it, Ahsoka says she cannot train Grogu. The reason: his attachment to Din. I was surprised at first. Ahsoka does not see herself as a Jedi, at least as far as her association with the order that raised and trained her. I didn’t think I’d hear about attachment from someone who has forgone the Jedi way, especially since Ahsoka appears to have indulged in an attachment or two.
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I immediately realized she was on to something. I recall Grogu’s moments of using the force: saving Din from the mudhorn; using the Force to save everyone from a giant fireball; Force healing Greef Karga; and Force choking Cara Dune. The latter example stands out to me as being the most violent use of the Force we see from little Grogu. He perceives that Din is in danger and acts against what we now know is his training to hurt someone in a manner that is often consistent with the dark side. 
Sure he is innocent and adorable. But he is also dangerous. And Ahsoka is right. It’s his attachment to Din that turns him from benevolent force using baby, to emotionally fueled deadly force bomb.
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But I’ve seen Star Wars Rebels. I know that a Jedi can have relationships with other people and not turn to the dark side. You can love and still listen to the will of the Force. The Jedi were wrong. So I’m here to look into what attachment is, how you can love and not have attachment, and how Grogu might still become a Jedi, or at least the new wave sort of Jedi. 
First we must look at the poster child for attachment issues: Anakin Skywalker. The Clone Wars TV show could be renamed- Star Wars: Attachment and How it Disrupts Nearly Every Mission the Republic Assigns Anakin. He prioritizes Padme, Ahsoka, R2, and even Obi-wan over everything else. He is constantly  defying the orders of his commanders and putting the mission in danger. 
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This all comes down to what happened to Anakin’s mother. 
When Anakin is taken from Tatooine, he has to leave his mother behind, with whom he shares a strong bond and attachment. When he is brought before the council and they say “he is too old”, what it really means is “he has already attached himself to something other than the Force.” Why else would being “too old” matter? The Jedi prefer blank slates for a good reason. Very small children have not developed strong attachments.
Anakin does turn into Darth Vader, after all. 
It would appear the Jedi are very right to say that Anakin should not be trained. He is ripped away from his mother; the man who believes in him is killed; and he is forced to be trained by someone who treated him with bitter indifference. After losing his mother he has no help, no advice, no direction other than to stifle his negative emotions. 
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So instead of processing his grief and finding peace, he latches onto Padme. This attachment he will never abandon. He trains harder and becomes more powerful to always be able to keep Padme alive. The guilt Anakin feels for not being able to save his mother gives fire and passion to his obsession with Padme. And this obsession slowly erodes their relationship. 
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Anakin says things like “There’s nothing more important than the way I feel about you.” (Hostage Crisis) During the Mortis Arc when he sees a vision of his mother, they have this conversation: 
“The only love I feel in my heart is haunted by what would happen should I let go.” 
“Then it is not love. It is a prison.” 
“But I have a wife…she’s everything to me.” 
“She’s not your destiny.” 
“But I love her.” 
We see the very ugly side of Anakin’s obsession and jealousy in the arcs that involve Clovis. Anakin's insecurities are valid, but they simply drive home the point that his attachment to Padme will eventually unravel him and lead to violence. 
Anakin and Obi-wan have a very interesting conversation during the episode “The Rise of Clovis” that reveals that Obi-wan is worried for Anakin and senses Anakin’s anger pitted towards the man he perceives as his rival. 
Obi-wan: Master Yoda is feels that your judgements concerning Rush Clovis are clouded. 
Anakin: I believe he can’t be trusted.
Obi-wan: Yes, but there is more isn’t there? I sense a deep anger in your by my simply saying his name. 
Anakin: He almost got Senator Amidala killed and I would have been responsible. 
Obi-wan: The Senator has risked her life many times. She’s quite capable of taking care of herself. 
Anakin: They had a relationship...once. I simply feel she is vulnerable to her emotions. 
Obi-wan: She is, or you? 
Obi-wan then empathizes with Anakin, telling him that he knows what it’s like to harbor feelings for someone. He tells Anakin to not be ashamed of these feelings, but that he must make the rights choice “for the order”. The conversation ends with Anakin becoming very angry, asserting he knows what his responsibilities are and Obi-wan leaves the room, leaving Anakin to deal with his distress alone. 
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 And since Anakin is denied the support he needs, he resorts to controlling, intimidating behavior. He commands Padme to stay away from Clovis, is cruel to him, and chooses to punish Padme emotionally for Anakin's own insecurities. When tensions reach their peak, he attacks Clovis. This fully expresses Anakin's own fear and rage at the idea of losing Padme to another man. 
Anakin’s unchecked and untreated attachment to Padme, as we all know, results in the ultimate ruination of the both of them, the Jedi Order, and the Republic. He will never out anything about her. She is his center. Nothing else matters. 
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This is not Anakin’s fault. This is the fault of the Jedi. Their teachings about attachment are unhelpful at best, and this stems from their crippling confusion over the difference between “attachment” and “love”. 
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It makes me wonder if they even know what they are talking about at all. Their advice about attachment involves regurgitating confusing platitudes.  
In “The Revenge of the Sith"; Anakin goes to Yoda to seek his counsel. Anakin is told that “attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is.” When Anakin asks what he must do to overcome attachment, Yoda tells him simply to “train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose”. 
Thanks Yoda, I’ll get right on that. 
Anakin needs to “let go”, apparently, and if he is holding onto something dangerous, what should he be holding onto instead? No one ever explains. The Jedi simply tell him to “let it go”. 
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It’s no wonder that Anakin can’t ever consider letting go of Padme. For all he knows, that means cutting her out of his life and never speaking to her again. Or worse, does that mean letting her die the next time her life is in danger? Does it mean he should replace love with indifference? He has no idea. As he is given no tools, Anakin fixes nothing and plummets to his unavoidable demise.
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Divorce papers and deleting Padme’s number isn’t how Anakin is to overcome “attachment”, and it was never going to be. Obi-wan tried this method with Satine, and though he didn’t fall to the dark side, he never recovers from the bitterness and regret he feels.
In “Voyage of Temptation”, Anakin and Obi-wan discuss his and Satine’s relationship. Obi-wan explains his Jedi duties forced him to leave Satine after forming a strong bond and love with her over the year they were together on Mandalore. The Jedi teachings dictate that he let Satine go. So, obedient Padiwan that he was, Obi-wan cuts off his relationship with Satine. The results show that this was not the way. If the goal of the Jedi is to avoid negative emotion, then this technique fails and perhaps cripples Obi-wan forever.
Anakin: “As Master Yoda says: ‘A Jedi must not form attachments.’”
Obi-wan: “Yes, but he usually leaves out the undercurrent of remorse.” 
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I’m here to tell you today that Obi-wan perhaps gets screwed over by the Jedi Code more than any other Jedi. Obi-wan does not have an attachment to Satine. Sure he says “Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order” but that’s only because that is what he has been taught. He is taught you only have two options: love someone or be a Jedi. 
Obi-wan loves Satine. He has a relationship with her. Some even think, myself included, that he is physically intimate with her. Qui-gon no doubt encouraged this relationship. He probably carefully nurtured Obi-wan during this time, helping him be able to love without forming an attachment. But Obi-wan is not able to see that he could love Satine and still be a Jedi. Leaving the order means that his Jedi journey would be over. If he had realized love and attachment are separate things, he could have been a Jedi and could have had Satine's love, too . 
Qui-Gon nearly convinces Obi-wan to be different: Obi-wan could have been a Jedi with feelings and love. Satine is a person who values duty above all, just as Obi-wan does. She respects that he answers to the Force. They would have been able to perfectly rule together with that mutual understanding. He could have been her force wielding husband without being attached to Satine and falling to the Dark side. 
True attachment is so dangerous to a Jedi because if they attach to a person, an idea, or a cause then they are not attached to the will of the Force. 
This is the missing detail Anakin and Obi-wan needed. Obi-wan could have been completely attached to the Force, even while loving Satine and even becoming her husband. Anakin needs to know that he could attach his center to the Force, and that this would not interfere with a deep and meaningful relationship with Padme. While centered in the Force, Anakin could be Padme’s husband loving and living with her, but ultimately his duty is to the Force, just as her duty is ultimately to the Republic. 
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We know all of this is possible because of two characters from Star Wars: Rebels. Kanan Jarrus and Hera Syndulla share what is essentially a marital bond. They love, live, and lead together. They are physically intimate, but they do not have each other as their centers. We see evidence of this in the episode “Call to Action”, when Hera leaves Kanan in the hands of the Empire. She  knows that if she risks saving Kanan then everyone else will be killed. 
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If Hera had an attachment to Kanan like Anakin had to Padme, she would have risked everything to get Kanan back. Since Hera is not one of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy, she would have failed and the rebel cell would have been stopped dead in its tracks. 
We also see evidence that Kanan is not attached to Hera. At the very end of their journey, after Kanan and Hera have fully expressed their feelings to each other, Kanan sacrifices himself for Hera and the others by using the Force to hold back an explosion. Though it appears as  Kanan is doing this because of his love for Hera, that is not the true motivation. If Kanan has an attachment to Hera, things would have gone differently. 
It is heavily implied leading up to this event that Kanan knows it is the will of the Force that he is to die. He knows this because the Force is his center and not  Hera. If his center is attached to Hera, I believe two things would have happened. Kanan would have tried and failed to save himself along with Hera and the others.  His actions would have been motivated by selfishness and desperation to extend his time with Hera. If Kanan tries to save himself, the conflagration consumed them all. The only way Kanan can prevent this is to draw upon the dark side of the Force. This would have thrown Kanan out of balance with the Force, and put him in very real danger of falling to the dark side. 
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Instead, Kanan allows the will of the Force be done: he dies and his time with Hera comes to an end. Hera knows this about Kanan, and has always accepted the possibility he would choose the Rebel cause over their time together. Kanan knows the same of Hera. This mutual respect is the foundation of their love for each other. A Jedi can have a love and a bond with someone as long as they understand that ultimately, if the Force wills them to do something they must do it, regardless of how that affects their lives together.
So, can Grogu live like Kanan? The issue with Grogu, however, is that he already has attachment. His center is his adopted father, Din. Grogu is currently like Anakin, and if Din hands Grogu over to Ahsoka, they will have very Anakin-like troubles. From whom is Grogu going to learn? Ahsoka is unable to teach Grogu how to let go of deep attachment and center on the Force. Ezra Bridger can. 
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In the second part of this post, I will discuss how Ezra Bridger is one of the most important Jedi who has ever lived, because he will be able to Grogu learn to let go, attach to the force, love and live, and yet do what needs to be done. 
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izazov · 3 years
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This prompt has been on my mind for ages. Today, the inspiration struck, resulting in this ficlet. The ending was supposed to be less angsty and without the dark overtones, but here we are. 
The cot was narrow and hard, and the stone wall uncomfortably damp and cold. After having been stripped of his armor, Obi-Wan was left wearing only thin cotton tunic, loose leggings and boots. It was a poor protection against the chill that was slowly but surely seeping into his very bones.
 Obi-Wan shifted on his small cot, trying to find a more comfortable position. It wasn't an easy task, not even for someone who has spent the majority of his life sleeping under the open sky.
But that was the purpose of a cell, was it not? To leave one bereft of comforts as well as freedom.
Dragging his fingers across his face, Obi-Wan pushed those morose thoughts to the back of his mind. It would do him no good to sink into self-pity. He had made his choice, and he had done it knowing what the cost would be. To lament his decision now would be futile, but also a sign of a weak and fickle character.
He had already lost almost everything, he had no intention adding dignity and integrity to the list.
The sound of metal scraping against stone, followed by heavy footsteps made Obi-Wan stiffen involuntarily, his gaze flicking toward the iron bars of his cell.
Obi-Wan tried to remain calm, but it was a doomed battle. His stomach twisted into a tight knot, his fingers flexing where they were resting on his knees.
Have they already reached a decision? It has been barely a day since Obi-Wan had been thrown back into his cell, after refusing to accept guilt or plead for mercy for having disobeyed his orders.
Obi-Wan swallowed the bile that had gathered in the back if his throat, helpless anger flaring inside his chest as he recalled Palpatine's voice, accusing him of treason.
Treason. After fighting and bleeding for the King and his country his entire adult life, that was what he would be remembered for; the act that had earned him the moniker The Traitor General.
As if the real treason would not have been razing an entire town to ground and spilling innocent blood, all in the Prince's name.
Even if Obi-Wan had been capable of going against his morals, he would rather have slit his own throat than tied Anakin's name with the slaughter of the innocents.
Even those who were supporting Dooku.
Not that it mattered to Palpatine and the majority of the Royal Council. Quite the opposite. Obi-Wan has long suspected the Lord Regent's... less than favorable opinion of himself.
Obi-Wan could only imagine Palpatine's satisfaction with Obi-Wan's fall from grace. Now, there would be no one standing between him and the Prince. No one to lessen his malignant influence.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and grit his teeth, his hands balling into fists as impotent fury blazed its path through Obi-Wan's veins.
There was nothing Obi-Wan could do about it now. No way to prove he had deliberately been set up to fail. He had been stripped of his rank and title, his reputation and honor tarnished. His word meant nothing. He had nothing. Only his life.
Soon, maybe not even that.
The steps grew louder as they drew closer, only to halt abruptly.
"General," the familiar voice called, low and urgent, making Obi-Wan's eyes snap open.
"Rex," Obi-Wan said, rising to his feet and walking over to the cell bars. The sight of Rex dressed in the formal uniform of the Captain of the Guard still seemed faintly surreal to Obi-Wan, even if it has been six months since Rex had assumed that position. Obi-Wan frowned, glancing warily at their surroundings. "You should not be here."
"With due respect, General," Rex said, squaring Obi-Wan with a flat look. "That's probably the stupidest thing I've heard you say." He paused, the corner of his mouth lifting faintly. "And I've heard you composing lyrics while drunk."
Obi-Wan felt his mouth draw into a smile. "Ah, yes. That hadn't been my most dignified moment."
"Maybe not," Rex said, growing serious. "But there's not much demand for dignity while you're out there, freezing and covered in mud, waiting for the enemy. Camaraderie, respect... That's what matters. And you showed us both, General. I- We will never forget it."
"I-" Obi-Wan's voice faltered for a moment, his throat burning with a myriad of emotions. He swallowed thickly, composing himself. "You should not call me that anymore. I am no longer your general."
"You will always be my general," Rex said, solemn and without a moment's hesitation. A shadow crossed over his features. "Cody would say the same if he were here."
Obi-Wan looked away as guilt churned in the hollow of his chest. "It hadn't been my intention to drag Cody down with me. He should not have been demoted because of my actions."
"Cody doesn't blame you, and you shouldn't blame yourself," Rex remarked, pulling out a key from the inside of his jacket. "What you did was right, and the men know it."
Obi-Wan made a step back, his eyes widening in alarm. "Rex, I am not-"
"I'm not here to break you out," Rex cut in, unlocking the door and pulling it open. "I'm here to take you to the Prince. We don't have much time, General, so save the martyr act for some other time."
Obi-Wan blinked, caught between amusement and concern. "What does Anakin have to do with this?" Crossing his hands over his chest, Obi-Wan gave Rex a sharp look. "You were supposed to discourage his reckless behavior, not go along with it."
"Right now, General, you're the one with the problematic attitude," Rex said, frustration giving his voice a sharp edge. He squared Obi-Wan with a flat look, gesturing at the open door of his cell. "Like I said, we don't have much time. So you can cooperate or risk seeing what the Prince would do if I don't bring you to him on time."
Obi-Wan pressed his mouth into a thin line. "I don't think Anakin has been a good influence on you, Captain."
Rex shrugged. "Since you're the one who recommended me for this position, you have no one but yourself to blame, General."
Obi-Wan sighed, but made no further protest. Rex was right. Whatever ridiculous plan Anakin had concocted, Obi-Wan had no choice but go along with it. Or risk pushing Anakin into doing something incredibly foolish.
Striding out of the cell, Obi-Wan gave Rex a pointed look, arching an eyebrow. "I concede, Captain. Now what?"
Rex pulled out a pair of manacles, looking uncomfortable. "I- I'm sorry, General. It's just-"
"I understand, Rex," Obi-Wan cut in, extending his wrists. "You have my permission."
Rex let out a sigh of relief. But he still looked uncomfortable as he closed the manacles around Obi-Wan's wrists.
"Now," Obi-Wan said, grimly determined. "Take me to Anakin."
***
Obi-Wan had half-expected someone to stop them.
But, as they were walking the mostly empty hallways, Rex's hand firmly around Obi-Wan's bicep, no one had spared them more than a curious look.
Despite that, Obi-Wan could not relax; his stomach was tied into knots, while his lungs seemed unable to draw enough air.
It was nothing new. Anakin has always been the only person capable of completely shattering Obi-Wan's equilibrium.
Though, this was the first time he had done it when he wasn't actually physically present.
Obi-Wan's confusion and alarm grew further when, instead of taking the right turn, Rex took him up the narrow stairs that led to the east wing of the palace.
"Where are we going?" Obi-Wan demanded in a low voice. "This wing has not been opened since the Queen's death."
"I have my orders," Rex answered curtly, making it clear he wasn't going to elaborate further.
Obi-Wan clenched his jaw, but remained silent.
"We're here," Rex announced, stopping in front of large mahogany doors. He tapped the doors twice in rapid succession, then took a step back. "The Prince is waiting for you."
"You are not coming inside?"
Rex's mouth curled faintly. "Like I said, I have my orders."
"Orders, of course," Obi-Wan remarked drily. Rex merely shrugged in response.
Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan pushed open the doors, only to find himself enveloped in a tight embrace as soon as the doors clicked shut behind him.
For one moment - precious and stolen - Obi-Wan relaxed into Anakin's embrace, allowing his eyes to fall shut, the entire world narrowing to just the two of them.
"Obi-Wan," Anakin murmured into Obi-Wan's hair, his arms tightening around Obi-Wan's shoulders. "Thank the Gods you're finally here."
Obi-Wan inhaled sharply, painfully aware how there was no other place he would rather be in than Anakin's arms. And equally aware that it was the one place where he shouldn't be.
Silently cursing his own weakness, Obi-Wan forced himself to step back, out of Anakin's embrace. It took far more strength of will than Obi-Wan was willing to admit. Even to himself.
Ignoring Anakin's confused, dejected expression, Obi-Wan sketched a low bow, purposely clanging with his manacles. "You left me no choice, Your Highness."
Anakin blinked, confusion quickly morphing into frustration on his face. "Now is not the time for your poor humor, Obi-Wan."
"Believe me, your Highness, I am in no mood for jesting."
Anakin's eyes flashed. "Stop calling me that," he bit out. He let out a frustrated noise, dragging a hand through his already messy curls. "What is wrong with you? Don't you understand how precarious your current position is?" Anakin's voice broke on the last word, his expression turning desperate for a fraction of a moment.
Obi-Wan's resolve weakened as he took in Anakin's appearance: the paleness of his face, the dark circles underneath his eyes and their almost frantic gleam.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan sighed. "Being seen with me now can only harm you. You know that."
Anakin's lips curled over his teeth, his eyes flashing dangerously. "I may not be king yet, but I am not about to cower before the Council like a scared child in my own blasted home, Obi-Wan."
"Is that why we are meeting here and not in your quarters?"
Anakin opened his mouth, only to shut it, his cheeks coloring.
Obi-Wan frowned, unease forming a tight knot in his abdomen. "Anakin?" Obi-Wan said, trying but failing to keep his growing alarm out of his voice. "What are you not telling me?"
Anakin took a deep breath, straightening fully. "The Council has decided on your sentence."
Obi-Wan swallowed, his breath stuttering in his chest. He made himself smile. "And? What have they decided?"
"Exile," Anakin replied, voice barely over a whisper. He looked away, his hands curling into fists. "Some- Some members of the Council were insisting on execution but Palpatine made them reconsider."
"Did he now?" Obi-Wan said, more to himself than Anakin.
Anakin snapped his gaze up, scowling. "I know you dislike the Lord Regent, but he was the only one defending you." Anakin rubbed at his forehead. "Except Yoda."
"So this is goodbye, then?" Obi-Wan asked after a moment, faintly surprised how steady his voice was.
Anakin shook his head vehemently. As if mere thought was too horrible to contemplate. He crossed the space between them in two long strides, gripping Obi-Wan by his upper arms, his eyes gleaming fervently. "No, because you are not going anywhere. I won't allow it."
Obi-Wan let out a deep breath. "Anakin, there is nothing you can do. Even if you were-"
"Yes there is," Anakin cut in, deadly resolve etched onto his features.
Obi-Wan smiled, a soft, sad smile. "You are my Prince and my dearest friend, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "I would have given my life for you a hundred times over, but I won't allow you to tarnish your honor and what little has left of mine on a fool's quest."
Anakin closed his eyes briefly, his face contorting into a pained expression. "That is not your decision to make, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan felt a shiver of dread crawl down his spine. "What do you mean?"
Anakin released him, then turned on his heel, striding over to a nearby table. He stood there, unmoving, for one long moment, his shoulders sketching a rigid line.
"There is one law that goes beyond the Council, an old tradition no one would dare dispute," Anakin said, voice barely over a whisper. A moment later Obi-Wan could hear a faint click of a latch being opened. "The one thing that could save you and keep you here. With me."
Unconsciously, Obi-Wan made a step back. "There is no such law, Anakin. You should-"
Anakin turned around, fixing Obi-Wan with an unwavering gaze.
Obi-Wan broke off abruptly, his eyes widening at the sight of the gold collar in Anakin's right hand.
Obi-Wan knew that collar. Knew what it meant. But he refused to accept the implications.
Not now. Not like this.
"Yes, there is," Anakin said, striding forward. Obi-Wan felt frozen in place, his thoughts shuddering to a stop when he felt Anakin's fingers brush against his neck in a feather light caress. "I have the right to choose a consort. It can be anyone. And I have chosen you, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan blinked up at Anakin, unable to move or form a coherent thought even as he felt the collar close around his neck.
"This is not the way, Anakin," Obi-Wan managed to force through the tight clench of his throat. "Take it off."
"There is no other way," Anakin said, tipping his forehead against Obi-Wan's. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan closed his eyes, the soft click of a latch echoing loudly in the silence of the room.
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padawanlost · 4 years
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Do you think it was Anakin’s destiny to become Darth Vader? As in if that was the only way to fulfil the prophecy? If someone stopped him from doing the things he did, would he still become Vader?
No. Anakin was never destined to become darth vader. Vader was the result of Anakin’s choices, Palpatine’s manipulations and the actions of everyone around them (Padmé, Obi-wan, the Jedi, the Senate, Watto, Jabba, Gardulla, Ahsoka, etc). Everyone who played a role in Anakin life and the influenced the political events that led to the fall of the Republic have a connection to Vader. I’m not saying hey are responsible, i’m just saying Anakin doesn’t exists in a vacuum. and the force doesn’t have a conscious will, it does not manipulate events so it’s impossible for it to ‘will’ Anakin into becoming vader :)
Anakin, as Skywalker, as a human being, was going to be extremely powerful, but he ended up losing his arms and a leg and became partly a robot. So a lot of his ability to use the Force, a lot of his powers, are curbed at this point, because, as a living form, there’s not that much of him left. So his ability to be twice as good as the Emperor disappeared, and now he’s maybe 20 percent less than the Emperor. So that isn’t what the Emperor had in mind. He wanted this really super guy, but that got derailed by Obi-Wan. So he finds that, with Luke, he can get a more primo version if he can turn Luke to the Dark Side. You’ll see, as this goes on, Luke is faced with the same issues and practically the same scenes that Anakin is faced with. Anakin says yes and Luke says no. - George Lucas for Vanity Fair, February, 2005.
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threephasebird · 3 years
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Hello friend, it's Nicole from TAD discord, so sorry for awkwardly & randomly sliding into your dms. I've noticed that you've been reblogging a lot of The Untamed recently and I have just finished The Untamed & literally cannot think about anything else. I'm obsessed. Anyway, I've also noticed from your blog that your favorite seems to be JGY and I find that *fascinating*. He's very much not my fav, but he's such a complex character that I would love to hear your thoughts & feelings & analysis?
And to be completely clear, I will never try to debate with you or say your opinions are wrong or immoral or anything. I'm not an anti, I've stanned plenty of villains in my time. I'm just genuinely curious. I think the fact that you have such different feelings about this character is part of the beauty of stories and a testament to how complex and smart this particular story is.
Hello friend! First of all, thank you for your ask -- I love talking about my fictional faves, so there’s no need to apologize at all! There are definitely people out there who have already posted much more cohesive and succinct character analysis for JGY, but I’ve sat down for a bit to find an answer to the question of why I, personally, like him so much. I ended up finding six possible ways to answer this question, which I’ll list below and then go into (a lot) more detail under the cut. Hope you enjoy!
1) I like him because his motivations as a villain are complex and understandable
2) I like him because there’s no easy solution to his conflicts
3) I like him because he interacts with the story in a unique way
4) I like him because when we see him on top of his game, it’s fun to watch
5) I like him because LXC likes him
6) JGY is very small and has dimples
So, onward! (2.7k)
1) I like him because his motivations as a villain are complex and understandable
One possible way of looking at JGY is that throughout the entire story, his end goal is to eliminate all of the Jin family and come out on top as sect leader, chief cultivator and most powerful person in the cultivation world. However, I personally find it more intriguing to think that his specific plans shifted throughout the story and that he didn’t follow a long con the way NHS did, but that the common ground in everything he does is that he’s motivated by wanting security. Then, everything that he does afterwards is a step-by-step escalation when no matter what he does and how far he comes, his goal is always dangled right in front of him, but ultimately impossible to reach.
When he joins the Nie clan, on a superficial level it seems that this place could offer him the security he wants and needs, especially with NMJ protecting him -- but on the flip side of the coin, no one apart from NMJ and NHS seem to respect him, and his security entirely depends on NMJ’s goodwill. It’s an exteremely fragile position that could probably only ever last for a limited amount of time. Even if JGY never killed the guard captain and wasn’t thrown out of the Unclean Realm, how would the future have looked like for him? NMJ’s life expectancy was low to begin with, and once he had died (of natural causes, in this hypothetical case), NHS wouldn’t have been able to hold the same protective hand over JGY as his brother, and JGY would have become the disrespected advisor to the disrespected clan leader. (On a side note, I personally don’t think JGY released XY to get the yin iron -- I think it makes more sense that he wanted to use XY as bargaining chips against WC, seeing how he goes to free him immediately after WC asks for NMJ to release XY, to save the Unclean Realm and, in extension, his own ass.)
After JGY is thrown out, he’s basically out of options -- it’s go big or go home, because which other clan would take him in now? So he sets his sight on being recognized by JGS once more, and in order to succeed, he derives the plan of becoming a spy under WRH and do something so “heroical” that after the war, JGS has no other choice but to accept him into his clan. And at first, it seems like he succeeds and that he finally gets everything he wished for -- his father recognizes him as a son and gives him a position, he’s part of the Jin clan, he has power, he’s secure! But then it turns out that he was wishing on the monkey’s paw. His father doesn’t truly recognize him, and even in the Jin clan he’s disrespected (by JGS, by Madam Jin, by Jin Zixun), he doesn’t truly hold power (he just has to do whatever JGS tells him to), and he’s not secure (JGS instrumentalizes him because he’s useful to him right now, but does that mean he’ll be useful forever? So there’s a constant threat there).
I think the only reason JGS officially adopts JGY is that it allows him to claim the victory over WRH for the Jin clan and to expand his own power. Instead of JGY being recognized, JGS instrumentalizes him from the very first second and to make it worse, he makes JGY his attack dog the same way WRH did. I think the things JGY does under both WRH and JGS are absolutely horrifying, but I can’t help but also feel horrified for him. Under WRH, I think he tells himself that whatever he does is the lesser evil because it’ll end the war quicker, and that it’ll all be worth it in the end, and as a result, he loses parts of his own humanity there. And then under JGS, it’s the same fucked up shit again, except that this time, he also wants so very badly for JGS to value him, and in addition, he’s also completely out of options now. Without wanting to excuse the things he does under JGS, the only alternative at this point is for him to leave the Jin clan and the cultivation world as a whole, and I do think there’s a definite possibility that JGS would have him killed if he did because he knew too much about JGS’s plans.
Without passing judgment on his involvement in JZX and JZX’s deaths, as well as him killing NMJ and JGS for now (the latter being the one thing that I’m personally most horrified of), I don’t see JGY as a villain who enjoys being the villain the way XY does. I think he’s constantly horrified at himself and compartmentalizes to a degree where he’s actually derailing his own plans. Him throwing out XY immediately after killing JGS reads to me as him wanting to close the chapter of everything they did under JGS -- I think he must have acted out of a visceral emotion there or else he wouldn’t have left XY to die at the side of a road so carelessly (and, in effect, allowed for someone to live on with detailed knowledge of his own deeds). After rising to power (and finally, seemingly, really getting the security he’s always wanted), he doesn’t use that power to become WRH 3.0, but instead to do genuinely good things (such as building the watch towers). That’s not supposed to mean that him not being a cruel despot makes up for everything he’s done, but I find it interesting to think about from the perspective of, what kind of person could he have been if this opportunity had been given to him freely -- if his own class and social standing didn’t prevent him from that? I think he’d have become an incredibly powerful cultivator and clan leader if he’d have the same privilege as JZX.
In a way, I see JZX, WC, and JGY as narrative foils. WC shows us who JZX might have become if JGS treated him the same way as WRH treats WC. But, JGS doesn’t -- he shields his own son from this part of the Jin clan, and basically allows him to live in a completely different reality as JGY! JZX’s whole character arc is one of personality development, and becoming a hero, and falling in love -- he doesn’t have a clue about his father wanting to get his hands on XY and the Stygian tiger amulet and arguably about at least part of the war crimes he commits against the Wen clan. It’s not part of his life. In a way, JGY is the sacrifice being made to allow him to live his life unaware because in him, JGS found someone else to do his dirty work.
2) I like him because there’s no easy solution to his conflicts
Sometimes, when you want to be a villain apologist, all you need to do is point at one or a few bits of the story and say, “well if they hadn’t done that...”. (See, for example, Anakin Skywalker -- you wanna write a RotS canon divergence fixit? Just have Obi-Wan come back approximately one hour earlier and you have it, because before Anakin kills the Jedi even the Younglings he’s basically completely redeemable.) With JGY, you don’t get to have that. There’s no single turning point where you could say, “if he had picked the other option, he could have had a happy ending”. And part of the reason for that, which makes him a tragic character in my eyes, is that he crucially lacks options at many turning points.
In order to write a canon divergence AU for JGY where he comes out unscathed and redeemable, you’d have to go pretty far back in the story, and even then, you’d have to work hard to find a solution to his story that doesn’t a) rely on someone saving him (such as: LXC brings him to Cloud Recesses, or: JGS has a change of heart, frees his mother, and sends them a comfortable monthly pension), b) having him be dependent on someone else’s goodwill (such as: staying in the Unclean Realm in a delicate position).
If we don’t want to go back right to the very beginning or change fundamental parts of the story, well... As I’ve mused about above, if we let him stay in the Unclean Realm, he’d have never reached his goal of security either. If he never became a spy during the Sunshot Campaign, he wouldn’t have been accepted into the Jin clan and would have been out of options. If he never committed the atrocities for JGS, JGS would probably have kicked him out or killed him. (I do think there’s a lot of truth in what JGY tells NMJ in the empathy flashback, on that instance.) If he didn’t kill NMJ, there is a distinct possibility that NMJ would have killed him -- we see him try three times on screen, after all. (I’m leaving out the parts about him being directly responsible for JZX’s and JZX’s death in the show, as well as for controlling the corpses at Nighless City and JYL’s death, because it’s not in the book and I think it takes away from WWX’s character. As for QS’s and their son’s deaths...I personally do not see strong motivation for him to kill them, but in the end, we just don’t know which is, on a side note, a thing I really like about The Untamed/MDZS! Sometimes we just don’t know because the only people who know for sure can’t tell us anymore.) One option could be for him to confide to JZX, bring him over to his own side, and non-violently overthrow JGS, which would be a good and satisfying ending both to his and JZX’s character arcs -- but I also think there’s a high possibility JZX would hold JGY responsible for what he and JGS did, and never trust him with power again.
(Again, one thing I really do not wish to excuse away is how he killed JGS, and I just. Desperately wished he didn’t.)
I’ve been going over and over the possibilites for fix-its and canon divergence AUs, but in the end, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that the only real choice JGY has throughout the story is whether to remove himself from the narrative or stay in it. He could make the choice to give up his mother’s dream, reject his father, and leave cultivation world (and, on a meta level, the story!) to become a “nobody”. (Small side note, though -- living on which skills?) If he doesn’t -- well, as soon as he enters the game, the cards are stacked against him.
To pick up on the meta level comment, I do find it fascinating that in a sense, JGY not only has to struggle for respect and recognition within the story, but that what he does also serves to keep his character part of the story. He could choose to give up and leave (and thus come out of the story redeemable), but then he wouldn’t be part of the story anymore.
3) I like him because he interacts with the story in a unique way
Continuing with the last point, JGY interacts with the story in two unique ways that distinguish him basically from all the other characters. He’s not actually supposed to be part of the story, but that he basically claws his way in. But that also means that his class and social status cannot be removed from any of the conflicts he encounters in universe -- they’re at the heart of all of them. In the empathy flashback, he says to NMJ, “You always scold me for indecent scheming. You always say that you are just and straight [...] A decent man shouldn’t resort to devious stratagems. [...] You’re of noble birth and have profound cultivation. What about me? How can I be the same? First, I don’t have the foundation of cultivation. No one has ever taught me that since I was a child! Second, I don’t have any background. Do you think that my position is very solid in the Jin clan of Lanling?” What I find so intriguing about this scene is that he’s right when he says he’s different from the others both in text and on a meta level because most of the other characters are never faced with the same decisions and have a natural place within the story (apart, to some degree, WWX and XY, where also interesting parallels can be drawn). And the other characters are, in a way, self-righteous to judge him when almost none of them come out of the story without blood on their hands -- WWX’s revenge, JC torturing demonic cultivators after WWX’s death, and so on...The entire cultivation world (even NMJ! even LXC!) were complicit in the war crimes against the Wen. But when the cultivation world turns against JGY, they are the most appalled by the things I as a viewer would be the most lenient towards (murdering JGS), and don’t care at all about the thing that horrifies me the most (murdering the sex workers).
There’s an interesting post by @pumpkinpaix​ analysing how class dynamics work in the story, which I highly recommend! I don’t want to repeat what has been said there already in much better ways than I can, but among other things, it makes some really interesting points about how much JGY’s class is tied with his motivations.
4) I like him because when we see him on top of his game, it’s fun to watch
Aside from any analysis, part of the reason why I like him so much is that when he’s acting as a villain, he’s just so much fun to watch. When WWX breaks into his vault in paperman form and JGY has approximately 5 minutes to get rid of the head, the torture bench (?) and anything suspicious, contact and inform Su She, run to a different building and come back, and nonetheless he manages to convince everyone but WWX and LWJ that he’s the victim in this situation, it’s just. Peak entertainment? For a short time, he’s on top of the game, and then he’s backed into a corner and becomes sloppy, and finally loses it all due to sentimentality (if he didn’t want to take his mother’s body with him and say goodbye to LXC, I’m sure he could have fled the country). I think Zhu Zanjin did an amazing job as an actor to portray how JGY is constantly assessing everything, how 23638 emotions flicker over his face in half a second, how his whole body language shows the constant anxiety and pressure and stress and fear he’s under, and how we actually get to see in his microexpressions when JGY chooses a path and commits to the acting and emotional manipulation to follow it through.
5) I like him because LXC likes him 
Here’s a secret: Actually, LXC is my favourite character. And LXC loves JGY a lot. So I’m kind of contractually obliged to at least love JGY a little bit as well?
On a more serious note, I’m very intrigued in their relationship because I do think what they had was genuine. I view it as two people being very open and honest and true with each other, while placing a lot of things outside the brackets and crossing them out. LXC even says that he was aware of some things JGY did (which ones? how? I need to know) but that he justified them to himself. I think they both realised that they could have had something very special, but under the given circumstances, LXC wouldn’t have been able to help JGY (see: point 2) even if he knew everything. Still, they were obviously very close and trusted each other as much as they could. I think in the end, when LXC seemed to have decided to stay and die with him, JGY pushed him away because he was the only genuinely good part of his life, and he felt like he couldn’t rightfully deprive the world of LXC. It’s all very tragic, and I’m very intrigued to explore what they could have been in a slightly softer world.
6) JGY is very small and has dimples
I can only speak for myself, but when I was watching, I was so prone at any point to believe in him no matter what was revealed. Look at him! Could this man do something wrong?
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