#my meta posts

[conarcoin]

TW: Unreality, fictional death and violence

Me and my friends started our search for this fic in 2021. It is now 2024, and we have finally found our white whale, courtesy of an anonymous user who sent me a document containing the full text of this work.

SMPRonpa is both a highly controversial and incredibly impactful piece of fanfiction in regards to how the MCYT fandom would evolve in the years past. While the author buried it due to harassment, I believe preserving it is important as it is a huge part of MCYT fandom history. I hope that sharing this finding will help demystify the fic and some of the misconceptions about its content.

Just like with the reconstruction - this is being published with the intentions of media preservation and documentation of fandom history. We ask that you do not attempt to identify or contact the author of this work. They want to be left alone.

#my meta posts #fandom history #smplive #mcyt #smpronpa #lost media

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Ok so I already projected onto John MORE than enough but good golly, I'm finally getting around to finishing Season 3 and I'm projecting even more because like ohhH my gosh. When Yeshua asks him to stay and wait for Simon, and he clearly is desperate to go with Him, and doesn't understand why it's Simon that Yeshua depends on, and just so palpably wants Yeshua to want him, and love him, and to be enough and he just doesn't feel it--and he takes that out on Simon--and it's just a great representation of John's struggles with pride and insecurity and the competitive nature of the relationship between him and Simon (the tomb, Simon's question at the end of John's Gospel, etc.)...and how Yeshua says, "John, I love you," and corrects him so gently, and takes his face in His hands because He knows it hurts, and has such compassion for John even in his shortsightedness...

AND THEN. ON THE ROAD WITH SIMON. Oh my goodness. The aro Christian in me is losing my mind because the final thing John says to Simon, after a string of adjectives describing virtues he sees in Simon but not himself--"Simon the exceptional. Simon the distinct"--is, "And yeah, maybe He calls me 'beloved' sometimes, but that's only because you have Eden! I don't know what you're whining about when you have found someone like her."

Like oh my gosh. I feel so seen here. Because John (and I) are all about love. We care about people so much. But it's commonly thought that John never married, despite it being expected in that society and most of the other disciples doing so. And what's being represented here is this painfully personal ache because yes, Jesus loves us; yes, we can have a special and close relationship with Him--but it feels like it's a substitute because it isn't what everyone else has: it isn't the love of a partner. John wants to be loved and needed SO MUCH and he feels lesser because he doesn't have that, so he admits himself that he resents Simon for having a wife. And that's exactly how I feel. I want my relationship with Jesus to be special, I want to be closer to Him than anyone and to be His beloved, and while part of that is genuine and holy, part of it is because I don't think I'll have or be worthy of anyone else's love. His love is treated as replacement for something "more." So we cling onto that because at least someone chooses us first. "At least" we have Jesus. But we still feel emptier than those who have other people choose to love them. We need to be exceptional and distinct because otherwise we'll be forgotten. Left behind.

And then John sees what his words have done to Simon and the pain his friend is carrying, and the change is instant. He runs to him and holds him and grieves with him and calls him brother, and tries (in his own imperfect way) to offer comfort and encourage Simon to turn to Yeshua for support. John has so much empathy and compassion; it's not that he doesn't care about Simon, and when he realizes what's going on, he immediately is there to support him. But he clearly feels less than Simon--less loved, and less important to Yeshua. And if not even Yeshua would choose him first...who does he have?

So yeah. I feel seen. And I hope that someday I can have the kind of relationship with Jesus that John had.

#the chosen #the chosen tv series #yochanan bar zavdi #kay can i just catch my breath for a second #meta #my meta posts #quality meta seal of approval #not to hype my own post up i just put that on all meta posts so that i can find them #christianity #my christianity #john #simon peter #aro #aromantic #aromanticism #my aromanticism

[enbyjane]

i want to write a post about van pelt and jane, but for the life of me i cannot get the words in a pretty, organized way. all i've got is...

they're siblings your honour. they bicker like siblings, he embarrasses her when she asks him not to (x), and he teases her (x), and his teasing builds up resistance in the way of 'you're trying to intimidate me but you're nothing compared to my brother so you might as well stop' (x), and he tricks her lightly like older brothers do and says "do not tell mum lisbon." he pranks her and she writes "fuck you" on a pad. she smiles at his technical ineptitude but helps him every time. he smiles at her naivety but also welcomes it.

and she goes to him for advice and comfort (x) and he's patient and kind and reassuring.

and he's ready to kill when she goes missing (x).

and then there are also the similarities between the characters. and the differences that only further reveal the similarities, and the way they parallel each other.

they're both kind and considerate of and compassionate to the people less fortunate. he's an asshole and she's 'a little bit of nice inside the bitch and a little bit of bitch inside the nice'. they're the most intuitive and in-tune-with-people from the whole show and this allows for a particular kind of manipulation that only they are able to do.

she believes in psychic powers and he doesn't. but she believes because of a family member that (she believes) has the gifts (and is well intentioned nonetheless). he doesn't believe because of a family member that is a charlatan and has made him do it since young age (and we know he's not well intentioned.)

he lost someone important to him (his mother) from an early age. (in any case, we barely know anything about her). she lost someone important to her (not her sister) from an early age (in any case, we barely know anything about this. we can deduce it's suicide. we don't know)

he lost his wife and the grief consumed him. she lost her fiance (and the future with said fiance) and she let it go. (she threw it in the bin).

is this anything?

#their friendship is so important to me and i wish we had more #the mentalist #patrick jane #grace van pelt #the mentalist meta #i suppose #my meta posts #mine #jane & van pelt #van pelt & jane

[academicgangster]

Nah, actually I'm not done talking about fandom's bizarre takes on death.

The thing about life is, you age. You learn things, you come to terms with things, you build a life that's at least a little better than it was for you when you were young. You get happier. Only very rarely does anyone's happiness peak in their twenties or thirties.

If you're going to imagine your significant other as you die, in your sixties, would you not imagine your significant other AS HE IS NOW, rather than as he was thirty-five years ago? You see his current face regularly. You hear from him nearly every day. He is on your phone sending you emotional texts from the bar where he's ignoring his government mandated heterosexual love interest.

#death isn't reliving your younger glory days. death is knowing you will miss what you have NOW. #death for ice is certainly regretting that he can't continue to protect mav - and potentially since he's ice he has actively #put measures in place for mav's protection after he's gone. #anyway! #my meta posts #people have a really warped view of death and i don't like it #there was someone this morning trying to reassure someone who'd lost their beloved dog after years of health issues #and instead of saying hey man you looked after her so well she lived so long despite it all; she lived a good life and i know she loved you #they went 'she's playing somewhere now as a puppy before all her health troubles' #like what is this terrible fear of aging. #what is this willingness to assume people and animals had their supposed happiest state when they were so much younger #what is this willingness to erase a lifetime of experiences that shaped someone into the person they are now #in service of what? 'they were happier back then'? you don't get to make that decision. it's not your decision to make. #fuck you and fuck the f14 tomcat you rode in on. #i hope you haven't lost anyone important to you in your life and i hope that by the time you do (as everyone does) #you'll have a more respectful understanding and framing of death

[kenobihater]

tragedy enjoyers when a character perpetuates the cycle of violence they themselves were a victim of

#SORRY IT'S COMPELLING LOL #i was gonna write up a meta post abt astarion but im only in act 1 & havent got as firm a grasp on his character as id like to do that yet #one day soon mayhaps... #len speaks #len's memes #astarion #<-tagging my current blorbo du jour bc he's the reason this post exists

[that-house]

Potion Vendor FAQs:

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.

Do you sell love potions? No.

Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.

Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.

Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.

Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.

So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.

Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.

Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.

Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.

Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.

Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.

Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.

So can you make poison potions? No.

Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.

Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.

How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.

You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.

Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.

Road trip? He lives in Seattle.

Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.

For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.

And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.

Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.

Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.

You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.

So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.

Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.

Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.

Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.

What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.

You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.

Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.

Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.

Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.

Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.

Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.

Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.

When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.

When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.

Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.

Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.

Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.

Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.

I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.

How did you know that? …I’m psychic.

Yeah? No.

You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.

Did you just miss a turn? Probably.

Are you sure we’re not lost? No.

You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.

Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.

Would it help if I said it was? It would.

Is it getting dark? Soon.

Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.

Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.

Should we find a motel? Sure.

One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.

You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.

Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.

Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.

How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.

How many beds are there? One.

Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.

Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.

How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.

Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.

For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.

Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.

Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.

Are you asleep? …

Yes? …

Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …

What should I say? …

Did you know that I had a really nice day? …

Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …

Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …

Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …

Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …

Did you know that you’re warm? …

Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.

Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.

Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.

What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!

Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.

You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!

Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.

Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.

You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.

Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.

Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.

How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.

Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.

Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.

And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!

Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.

And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.

So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.

So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!

Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.

Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.

Are you done eating? Yep.

Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.

How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.

Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.

Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.

What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.

Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.

Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…

Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.

Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?

When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.

Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.

What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.

Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.

What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.

Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.

Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.

What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.

I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …

Did he get his body modified? …

What sort of surgery could do that? …

How is he still alive? …

Did a fucking wizard do it? …

WHY? …

HOW? …

Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …

I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.

Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.

Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.

Can we do that? Of course.

Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.

Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.

Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.

How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.

How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.

That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.

Wanna fuck? God yes.

Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.

…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.

How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.

How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!

Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.

When will we get there? Noon-ish.

Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.

Is this Seattle? Looks like it.

Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.

Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.

So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.

Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.

So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!

How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.

Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.

Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.

Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!

Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!

Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.

I just caught this, but, FAQ? …

As in Frequently Asked Questions? …

How many times is Frequent? …

Have you known everything all along? …

How many times have you done this? …

Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!

And you say that every time? Yes. I do.

Do you love me? Yes.

How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.

Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.

Can I go now? Please don’t.

But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.

How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.

What happens at the end of this? It begins again.

And do I get replaced with someone else? …

Do I get replaced? …Yes.

Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!

You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.

How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?

Did you know my name is Alice? …

Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …

Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …

Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!

Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.

Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.

Be good to the next me, okay? I will.

Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.

Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.

What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.

What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!

What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.

Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.

What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.

What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!

So I should keep repeating something? Yes!

I love you? I love you too.

I love you? Again.

I love you? Keep going.

I love you? I’ll just let you talk.

I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!

I love you? Now can you make it a statement?

I love you.

You did it?

I did it!

You did it!

We broke the loop.

What now?

Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.

And then?

Whatever we want, forever.

I think I’d like that.

Remember that song from the beginning?

The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?

We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?

Let me off, let me in

Let others battle

We don’t need to battle

And we both shall win

Pressed in my palm

Was a stone from the beach

The perfect circle

Gave a moment of peace

Now I’m lying on the floor

Like I’m not worth a chair

I close my eyes and imagine

I’m not there.

#neon-grey-writing #potion vendor faq #my writing #very very very long post lol #click the read more you know you wanna it's worth it trust me #i wrote the original draft of this at like. 3 am back in early 2023 #that's right it's catherine that-house the squares comic gal back at it again with yet another meta exploration of a storytelling format

[edscuntyeyeshadow]

thinking about how ofmd took blackbeard, a historical (almost mythical) figure that has pretty much always been depicted in media as a super hypermasculine white cishet man, and turned him into a gay man of color who wears crop tops and silk gowns, paints his nails and pines for his boyfriend

#ofmd #our flag means death #edward teach #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ed teach #blackbeard #our flag means gay #gay pirates #taika waititi #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #ofmd meta #loving edward teach hours #my posts

[disco-asphodel]

realtalk but when i see dudes on steam or ppl on tumblr talking about how disco elysium made them feel pathetic and uncomfortable i just. i don’t know. i cannot relate to that at all. disco elysium is about an alcoholic amnesiac poet in love with a dying city who loves him back. if i had never been an alcoholic, if i had never been suicidally depressed, maybe i would think the world of disco elysium is a bleak one. but when you know what it’s like to go through that darkness and come out of it again? to fall back in love with a world that almost destroyed you? disco elysium is the most hopeful story imaginable. it sees the world for what it is and holds nothing back, none of the horror, none of the wonder, none of the love…

something about art comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable i dunno

#disco elysium #harry du bois #cw suicide mention #i can only speak for myself ofc. but it’s one of the most hopeful stories i ever experienced #its like literature or something! #meta #text #my posts

[astronomical-bagel]

funny little phenomena I've noticed recently

#this was inspired by the chilfuckers post #suggestive #this one goes out to my depraved chilchuck mutuals. you people are dogs I will reblog as usual ect ect #oh btw I repurposed my chilchuck meta for the left side #chilchuck tims #chilchuck #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #astronomically random

[conarcoin]

Some "Did you know"s about AO3 tags from a tag wrangler volunteer

It takes 3 unique identifiable users (no anons, no unidentified orphans) for a fandom-specific freeform tag to be canonized.

Relationship tags are primarily alphabetized by last name.

If you see that something like "- Freeform" or "- Character" has been added automatically to a tag you used, it means it exists in another category already.

If you use a tag that is marked as a subtag of another tag, it will show up in the search for the metatag as well - so if you tag "Hybrid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)" it will automatically show up in "Hybrids"!

Many larger fandoms have tags show up in odd places because certain fandoms are used as holding bins. For example you may see MCYT tags in 30 Day SMP | Free Trial SMP as we use it as our collective bin for tags we can't do anything with.

You don't have to use the canonical tag for something if you don't want to. You can tag "BadBoyHalo" and it will still show up under "Darryl Noveschosch | BadBoyHalo" as tag wranglers connect tags together.

You can report issues with tags by submitting a support ticket using the "Technical Support & Feedback" button on the bottom of any AO3 page.

The Wrangling Guidelines are publicly available to read here!

#archive of our own #ao3 #my meta posts #ao3 tags

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

I've been destroyed so so will you:

10 years later and Obi-Wan is still having nightmares about Anakin's death.

The first thing he does when he wakes up is reach out to Qui-Gon--but he doesn't get an answer. He feels so desperately alone, clearly still blaming himself for everything.

Bail calls him out on this when he's begging him to save Leia, and the fear in Obi-Wan's eyes when he responds, "What if I can't save her?" is for her father, not just for her.

Both times, when talking with Owen and Bail, Obi-Wan holds their gazes--but as soon as they say Anakin's name, he can't anymore, and he has to look away. He visibly retreats and is destabilized by that name, which makes Owen's accusations all the more brutal.

He remembers the exact spot he buried the lightsabers. His next to Anakin's, buried together in the same coffin box. His face when he sees them both carries a decade of grief.

I had also thought the friend that Obi-Wan told Leia she reminded him of was Anakin at first, but then he said "she," and I was disappointed, because I thought he meant Satine when it should have been one of Leia's parents. But I just realized it was one of her parents--it was Padme.

Using the Force seems to cause Obi-Wan pain after refraining for so long (perhaps lending some truth to Leia's assertion that he "can't"); but it's even more painful because the first time he uses it after killing Anakin all those years ago is to save Anakin's daughter.

Obi-Wan never introduced himself to Haja, and if he did, he would have done so as Ben; he's still trying to leave his past and his identity as a Jedi behind. But Haja recognizes him for the Jedi he is (and was), and so he uses his true name."You're not alone, Obi-Wan." How much those few words mean is written all across Obi-Wan's face.

Obi-Wan, who in all his years has always been able to keep himself under control, even right after Anakin's death, literally has a panic attack when he learns that Vader is still alive. It turns Haja's comforting words into a cruel irony, a reality so overwhelming that he's nearly killed. He can't even compose himself on the ship, with Leia standing right in front of him.

He dares to reach out into the Force, terrified of what he will see and what he has done. And Obi-Wan finds him, and feels nothing but hatred--and still calls him "Anakin."

#star wars #kenobi series #kenobi series spoilers #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #leia organa #meta #quality meta seal of approval #not to hype my own post up i just put that on all meta posts so that i can find them #my meta posts #kay can i just catch my breath for a second #padme amidala #qui gon jinn #right in the feels #augh the pain #seriously guys the detail in this show...the characterization...the exquisite recognition of all that came before and after... #it's blowing me out of the water #i am in awe and shock and by golly God is real and He is good and this is all the proof i need

[enbyjane]

I just want to talk about Grace.

Found this thing I said a while ago to a friend within the fandom, and I've been thinking about Grace for a while in these past few days

I feel like Grace got the short stick in terms of characterization, out of everyone from the show.

Regardless of how much everyone agrees that Grace is such a badass and awesome character, very kind and considerate and ambitious and so many more traits...She does not have a lot of depth as a character.

I'm sorry to all Grace's fans, I know it sounds pretty harsh. But at least that's my impression.

I don't even really know how to elaborate. But I'll try.

I don't mean that Grace is shallow or empty. She really has such fantastic lines, particularly within the first seasons. I mean that Grace is never really allowed to step past the "romance girl" role in the show.

I think it is a known thing within the fandom that Heller hasn't intended to make Jane and Lisbon a couple from the beginning. But he knew that romance drama sells. And it's quite clear from episode 1 that Grace and Wayne are planned to be a couple.

That's their role, to provide romance drama.

The thing is, Wayne also provides the comedic effect, usually paired with Cho, but by himself as well. (I'm not gonna say he's the clown because that's rude but you know what I mean)

Grace however? Has no further role. And it becomes further obvious when she and Rigsby break up. Her reason for breaking up is that she does value her job more than Rigsby (at least at that point) and she doesn't want him to end up resenting her for making him move away. She is also very adamant to join in on field missions and interrogating suspects and whatnot. You could glean from this that she is ambitious and cares about her career, right? Right.

Well, this never goes anywhere. Soon enough she meets some other guy whom she dates briefly (and who tries to murder Jane, but that's nothing new) and there's more Rigsby pining and Rigspelt drama. And then she meets Craig, with whom she has a serious relationship and almost marries (and who again is a homicidal guy helping a maniac. I think they made her only date homicidal maniacs just to show Rigsby in a fantastic light compared to them). The only time we actually see her do something for her career - which she shows that she cares about - is when she goes to that Hacking Program School Thingy or whatever it was and she returns with? *Drumrolls* A boyfriend!! (Who really is just a foil for more Rigsby pining I can't even remember his name)

Sure she is a great hacker and she is good with computers but this is never really explored.

And talking about things being explored...

Look at this!! "Deep trauma in your past that you haven't spoken of to anyone, not even yourself..." And well she continues not speaking of to anyone, not even herself!! This is never mentioned again!

Sure, sure, you can imply that it's the possible suicide of someone in the family that is the deep trauma. But the truth is that we don't know. We simply don't know.

The only things we see her truly grapple with is the PTSD from Craig's betrayal. And that's not a bad thing, nor a bad story, except that it doesn't really get anywhere in the end. It affects her on the moment. We don't really see which conclusions she's made from that situation. Although, perhaps, we can deduce that she is less trusting of people than she used to be.

The saddest thing is that we did have something that the writers could've used. They never did. They never really went anywhere with Vizualize either - there was a short moment when you were wondering if Grace was going to fall in the Vizualize trap, but, like most of her history, that was cut before it was really started. (I'm not saying that I wanted her to fall into the cult necessarily, but it would have been interesting to be explored more in depth)

I don't really have a conclusion here. Just that she deserved better. We never really see the conclusion of her PTSD with Craig either, apart from asking Jane what to do with her necklace. (and then keeping it, if I remember right). I would've liked to see her more mistrustful, or more conversations about that, or at least go to therapy to deal with that, if they wanted to get rid of the plotline. (though again, she's a wonderful character that deserved more)

#i'll end it here - i could probably say more but i'm running around in circles #anyways #grace van pelt deserved better #grace van pelt #the mentalist #the mentalist meta #my meta posts #the mentalist analysis

[loriache]

"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dungeon meshi meta #kabru of utaya #laios touden #labru #laios x kabru #dunmeshi #og post #kabru is such a big picture thinker. and he evaluates people more than he judges them imo #the hater jokes are funny but the people he judges most harshly arent laios and co. they're people like the island's lord. #but you don't see that as clearly because he isn't interested in the island's lord. he understands him. finds him contemptible but useful. #whereas laios lives in his brain rent free because he WANTS to understand him but doesnt quite. #even though he sees the elves as a major threat to his ultimate goals and dislikes the way they treat short lived races #he still understands and evaluates mithrun as an individual based on his own merits #he's one of the characters who is least judgemental in that sense because while he's always making judgements and evaluations #he's also constantly revising them whenever he gets more information #my beautiful machiavellian prince <3 #it's genuinely a really laudable way of understanding others imo. #the only problem is that because he's driven towards his goals by his PTSD and survivors guilt #he pushes himself into situations (the dungeon and also interpersonally) that trigger him or even just upset him #without regard for what he authentically wants or his own wellbeing.

[azapofinspiration]

Admittedly, something I’ve liked in the past couple of chapters is that even with an occasional barb or complaint thrown in, there’s been a surprising lack of hostility between Dazai and Chuuya.

Like, we’ve had crumbs of this — of them caring for each other and looking after each other — before but it’s been so consistent in the last few chapters and it feels so very in our faces as well, front and center.

Like, Chuuya keeps trying to almost console and reassure Dazai or at least help him figure out what’s wrong. Dazai’s never been as open or expressive, this chapter especially with him practically thinking out loud, that I can recall. Dazai’s showing behaviors that I don’t remember seeing before but fromChuuya’s words they’re habits of his.

They’re not constantly shooting insults or attacking each other (whether with words or physical moves). They’re basically just chilling as the danger is supposedly past (until Dazai got his revelation).

And I think it’s because they’re presumably completely alone for once.

They’re not in the Mafia base. They’re not in enemy territory with unconscious looks and their retrieval target close enough to possibly hear or see them if they wake up. They’re not stuck in a place surrounded by a dangerous ability or where the location of their allies is unknown, but could come across them at any time.

This might be the first time in the main manga where we can get a glimpse of what they’re like simply with each other.

And it’s really not so bad.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd spoilers #bsd 114 #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #skk #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #osamu dazai #my posts #meta #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai

[mjulmjul]

Katya / Goncharov

#yeah ik ive posted them before sorry but i REALLY like how these look together #martin scorsese #goncharov #artists on tumblr #illustration #unreality #<— posters for a ‘movie’ that doesn’t actually exist but is a tumblr meme in which everyone pretends it does&makes content for it #fascinating how we’re immediately personable w katya by knowing her first name while only knowing goncharov’s surname keeps us at a distanc #combined with him being the only major character to go by a moniker it emphasizes just how much he's been consumed by the role he plays #who is goncharov? does he know and keep it secret? or has he too lost his sense of identity? #it's reflected in these posters as we SEE katya but goncharov remains elusive - yet clearly time is running out for them both #lakjdklf ok im done now i never post meta on here so im having fun with the fictional movie #btw I updated both of the illustrations compared to the original posts but will leave those as they were #woudl be cool if my post showed up. u can do it tumblr

[divorce-enjoyer]

you paint your walls the colour of your beloved’s eyes you invite him into your home and keep the rest of hell out you fill your shelves with books for both the serpent of knowledge and the angel who fell for only asking questions you stock your liquor cabinet with the same alcohol you drank the night you realised you loved him and almost died for it and when all else fails, you give away everything youve ever loved for even the chance to keep him—to keep the both of you—safe. together.

he kisses you, and leaves the bookshop.

#i cant fucking take this anymore. i cant. #finding out what the colour of aziraphales walls were was my final fucking straw. #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens meta #og post