#Actually all the shire weapons are cool

[eorzeanshenanigans]

totally inconspicuous ninja outfit + actually normal ninja outfit

I switch them around depending on my mood, but I’m using the bunny costume right now

he works in the gold saucer part time

#B'raht Jadian #FFXIV #Ninja #the shire knives are very neat i like them a lot #Actually all the shire weapons are cool #very funky

[justaboot]

Ahh, tagged by @hueberryshortcake (thanks! also this was the thing someone tagged me in and lost weeks ago so bless <3)

how many fics do you have on ao3?

omg 8, what even are they.

what's your total ao3 word count?

174,260 oh my GOd

what fandoms do you write for?

- I've only posted for DT but I've got a 10th Doctor/River fic in my drafts

what are your top five fics by kudos?

And a Sixpence in Your Shoe

In Situ

I've Got Time

Everyone Loves a Reunion (A come from behind win?)

Gentle as it Goes

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

- I try so hard to reply to everybody, but I've got weapons grade anxiety so sometimes I'm worried people will think I'm self-important. I've actually found I'm less likely to respond to tumblr mutuals? More anxiety? Unclear but I'm smashing my face into my hands at every comment.

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I can't handle ending on angst. Gentle as it Goes, definitely, but I hate it, I cannot handle splitting the party.

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sixpence definitely has the most Disney Fairytale Everything Works Out ending, but writing I've Got Time's button fixed something in me I think.

do you get hate on your fics?

The first comment I ever got ever was DellaHate gbless, thanks AO3 User DellaDuckShouldDie for your insightful comment of "Della Duck should be destroyed."

do you write smut?

I've written it for other things, I'm not shook by it and its a great storytelling tool just like everything else, but not cartoon characters. I...I have one explicitly human DT fic that. I. Well. We'll see. Its a genre test run for something original and they're pointedly human, but I guess I'll cop to that one?

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've ever written?

I hate crossovers stay away from me I cant wrap my head around it

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah. Where would you go with it, we're all in the same room.

have you ever had a fic translated?

No but that'd be so cool!

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

girlfriend and I made an absolute banger of a spn fic together on a 12 hour roadtrip. Its not written down but we've got it beat for beat.

what's your all time favorite ship?

The Doctor and River will never fail to make me lay down they're them I dont even know what to say

what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

-I've got 1/3rd of an OG3 prequel episode fic written, but it has to be part of a series and that's just...not gonna happen.

what are your writing strengths?

oh god i dont know don't look at me dialogue? I get a lot of comments about in-character dialogue/behavior lets go with that.

what are your writing weaknesses?

I have "I'll finish it later, let me start this new one real quick" disease.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't done so, I'm fine with French but I'm terrified across the board of The Comment From A Native Speaker.

first fandom you wrote for?

Let me tell you about Tid, my halfling OC based on my Lord of the Rings Online character who played very little of the actual game and just ran laps around the shire. Elementary school core.

favorite fic you've ever written?

I am putting Sixpence on the award shelf for having finished something so big and I've Got Time was me getting a good grade in therapy. Right now I'm actually really proud of Dear Fellow Traveller? They're just lil kids and omg they're swimming in the Little Lake watering hole in the sierras I did that how did the author know

Tagging.... @writebackatya and @shychick-52

[caprice-nisei-enjoyer]

Gideon the Ninth predictions: Characters

Okay besties, before I celebrate Magnus' anniversary, what the fuck is up with the cast of Gideon the Ninth?

Gideon - She's the best and I love her, but she doesn't seem like she's gonna crack this one on her own. I assume she's gonna be instrumental to the events and climax of this book, but how? I am forced to conclude that the real secret to becoming a Lyctor will involve keeping a healthy daily routine of food, exercise, and tits. (Put more seriously, her secret weapon seems to be how little she cares about the melodrama of the situation.)

Harrow - She's the worst and I love her. Definitely don't see why Griddlehawk is a ship though. I kinda feel like they're setting her up for an Aesop about the value of friendship and relying on others, which is why I actually want her to gain ultimate power and lord it over all the other people who simply didn't study hard enough

Teacher - Implicitly trustworthy. Will probably make a heartbreaking sacrifice to get our heroes through their darkest hour

Dulcinea - Gideon, I get it, but it's not going to end well. Even in the best case, she dies by the end of the book. I'm actually kind of suspicious of how much of a spell she casts on Gideon, and I think there's a 30% chance she's actually up to something that will be bad for our heroes.

Protesilaus - Probably going to fight Gideon at some point. Not sure why but it'll be underscored with jealousy and betrayal.

Palamedes - I just met this man and I'm underwhelmed. It's cool to see that there's different varieties of necromancy, and medicine seems like it's gonna be useful once the blades come out, but, really? him? Most Likely to be Anointed Lyctor by Racous Indifference

Camilla - She's got Duties but I can already envision the omake where she and Gideon bro out. If Cavaliers could be Lyctors, she and Gideon would spend the entire trial perfecting the sickest possible flips. Assuming they can't, she'll be a brief ally and otherwise go on to bigger and better things.

Magnus - He's the best and I love him! I kinda worry that he does not Get what kind of story he's in. He's definitely not gonna pass the trial. I think the Emperor is gonna kill him when he fails, and I'm gonna be mad!

The Terrible Teens - (No, Magnus, don't make predictions about us. We're so insubstantial that we won't make much of an impact on the story when you're gone but we might show up as a callback in later installments)

Magnus' Wife - What's the deal with this lady necromancer? I'm pretty sure she hasn't shown up before. Where was she?

Coronabeth - It's Gemini Season, baby! Cool enough to maybe be a Lyctor, savvy enough to not make too many enemies on the way there.

Ianthe - Gideon was confused by the fact that she can see in the dark, but Gideon was also confused by Palamedes' medical necromancy. My guess is she's a stronger necromancer than her twin but not siginficantly beyond the abilities of the rest of the cast. Strong candidate for Lyctor. But it'll be one twin or the other, not both. 60% Ianthe 40% CB.

Naberius - He's a piece of shit and he's gonna get away with it, too, because he's Cavalier to the two necromancers most likely to ascend.

Jeannemary - What a great name! Would be open to naming a child this.

The rest of the Ninth House - No longer relevant to the proceedings except maybe in a "return to the Shire" moment

#tlt #gtn

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Tower Of Fantasy: Genshin Killer/Copy?

Tower of Fantasy will get it’s official global release on August 10, and everyone’s pretty exited to see how it will hold up against Genshin Impact. It’s the main thing it’s been compared to and hopes to embody. It is definitely it’s own thing, but just like how Genshin pulled from Breath of the Wild, Tower of Fantasy draws a LOT from Genshin and BOTW. 

I beta tested this game during it’s first global beta, and not everything I say will hold up in the official game. 

So first, yes, Tower of Fantasy is an MMO. Guilds and all. There is pvp, there are rankings. I’m personally not a big fan of MMOs (my first exposure to them was Dragon Raja which was kind of bad so go figure) but since I really love open worlds and I beta tested for this, I may as well see what it’s all about officially.

Which, by the way, is about the same as Genshin. The pity is 80 instead of 90, but it’s still pretty brutal. You won’t accumulate premium currency very fast, and you can’t select which SSR to target. PVP isn’t a very relevant aspect of ToF, it seems like it’s more just for fun and rankings so the whole SSR thing isn’t that bad. But if you do plan to take PVP very seriously SSRs and Echo who is literally the only good SR is your best bet. 

The weapons themselves come with characters. You can swap in between weapons, but not in between characters. The character will be a sort of skin. It’s a cool concept really, if only the characters were actually interesting as character lmao but we’ll get to that later. 

Oh but I should mention that there is a system that allows you to get free SSR weapons via grinding. It wasn’t in the first beta but it’s in the CN official release and the second beta but I don’t know a lot about it. 

As for how the characters are, they’re really fun. The movement and combat is pretty good, you can string in mid air combos and plunges and depending on your movement you moves will be varied. Yes, you get double jumps and it is the best thing ever. You can infinitely climb with it so it’s a nice benefit. The characters themselves don’t exactly have the same depth as Genshin’s. But combat wise they’re all very diverse and offer different experiences. 

I think the one thing that will be a deal breaker for all the Genshin Players who want to play Tower of Fantasy is that the story isn’t exactly the best. It’s quite convoluted and there’s so real focus or development on most of the playable characters, who, yes, some have their own side quests but most of them aren’t relevant to the main story at all. Barring Zeke and Shirley whom you meet in the beginning, there are no reoccurring characters. There aren’t really events where the characters can shine either, since looking at the update the CN version had a while back, Shirley is the only one who follows MC to the new area where the next part of the story takes place. 

It is an MMO so the story is more from your perspective, but even that isn’t exactly done very well. MC is very dry and sort of becomes everyone’s handy man, they don’t really have a motivation aside from “stop the bad guys.” But the story tends to stray from MC a lot, the entire first section of the game surrounds Zeke and Shirley, leaving MC as a mere catalyst for their story. Zeke and Shirely themselves are... eh. The game wants you to care about them but you don’t spend a whole lot of time with them. Probably the only thing driving their story forward is their bond as siblings. 

Which speaking of I think MC has a sibling? Like they were with someone in the opening cutscene before everything went to shit but it’s never really brought up. So uh, Genshin’s story is better, it’s not a masterpiece and it isn’t perfect, but at least they establish their character so uh, yeah. 

The story is okay, it’s nothing special (as of now) and it doesn’t give you that sweet sweet character stuff that will incentivize you to pull for the characters. Like at most the incentive is “they’re hot/cute and meta plz pull for them” Seriously no one gets any characterization (in the current story idk abt the update CN got) which is a problem for a gacha game. It’s not abysmal like say Dragon Raja, it’s at least coherent and establishes the world quite well, but it does suffer from it’s lack of interesting characters which is sort of the biggest factor of a story, so....

The world is very interesting, it’s a sort of sci fi post apocalyptic meets Breath of the Wild with a very small population. The sort of power/magic system is a bit vague but hey, at least you get some kind of exposition. The lore has a lot of potential especially given the many different factions and it translates pretty well into gameplay. A lot of the game’s systems can be explained by the lore and there’s a little bit of shady cult like organization stuff going on with the enemies in the form of the Heirs of Aida. I think the story has gotten better with the new update but only when it comes to global can we truly tell. 

The progression is a little rough, I don’t know what the level cap is and it’s just your standard grinding. You can do some dungeons for extra EXP but it’s super repetitive and boring. 

I’m assuming this is like an MMO thing, but there are quite a few systems you need to manage. Off the top of my head you have your suppressor, leveling your weapons, equipment (like the convoluted substats equipment), your “artifacts” I forgot what they’re called but they’re only obtainable through gacha and are character/weapon specific. On the bright side you can buy them and there’s no RNG involved in the stats. but it’s just something to look out for. 

Cosmetics are by far this game’s biggest strength. The outfits are all really nice, character customization is top fuckin notch, and the obtainable characters are all very pretty and you can unlock alternate skins of them if you get enough dupes. (only for SSRs tho) 

Oh and quickly, there are mounts. I don’t think the speed is that different in between them, but you get a motorcycle at base and you can unlock some others including a really cool robot unicorn. As far as customization of these vehicles go, I think it’s just colors. 

The open world is much like Genshin’s, so there are puzzles and collectibles everywhere and you can obtain premium currency and some skins among other rewards via exploration. For the most part it’s seamless from place to place, but there is one Area, Hykros, that you have to teleport to. I don’t know about the new area in the CN update, I believe it’s an extension of the overworld save for the main city. 

It’s all very well designed, there are interesting land marks and you options of traversal are quite varied. You can climb, glide, I believe you can get grappling hooks later on, and you can cruise around on your mount. You can even surf and the double jump comes in clutch for exploration because as previously stated, it can be abused to infinitely climb. One of the most fun things to do is surf off massive waterfalls and cliffs into water, you can jump on the surfboard which is the coloest thing and it’s your alternative to swimming since you will need to navigate large bodies of water. 

Overall, it’s definitely something to check out especially if you like a good MMO. For people who want to check it out because of Genshin, it’s quite similar but Genshin pulls ahead when looking at ToF’s current content. I can’t speak for the endgame, but it’s definitely fun. It’s not an award winning masterpiece, but it’s good enough.   

#genshin impact #tower of fantasy #genshin

[melhekhelmurkun]

Compiled list of random headcanons I have for various LOTR characters (mostly Faramir because I love him)

Faramir, kind and polite Faramir, swears worse than a sailor. Regularly (unless he’s in Polite Society where that would be Frowned Upon). The Rangers attempted to implement a similar concept to a swear jar, but they abandoned that idea pretty quickly when it filled up within 2 days (just from Faramir, no one else added to it more than once)

Aragorn has eaten pretty much everything edible - and some things that were questionably so. This includes; tree bark, leather, various nuts, food that may or may not have been past its due date, etc. And yet miraculously he has never once gotten food poisoning (until Eowyn’s stew, that is)

Legolas likes to leave little presents for the rest of the Fellowship (sort of like a cat does). Flowers for Frodo, herbs and game for Sam, cool rocks for Gimli, acorn tops for Pippin (relevant in the next thing), bird feathers for Gandalf (which he likes to sneak into the Wizard’s hat), bracelets woven out of grass or plant stems for Aragorn, interesting weapons lifted off the corpses of orcs for Boromir, four-leaf clovers for Merry whenever he can find them. Stuff he knows they’d like, and that he knows would bring their moods up on their perilous and tense journey

Pippin collects acorn tops. No reason, he just thinks they’re cool

Gandalf sometimes pretends to be asleep (the whole eyes open thing lmao) just so he can listen in on conversations happening around him. He is a giant gossip (we all knew this). He also sometimes actually goes to sleep at night purposely staring right at Pippin, because he thinks it’s hilarious when Pippin avoids him the next day

Merry likes telling Gimli, Legolas, and Boromir ridiculously outlandish stories about the Shire (which are, more often than not, true, surprisingly). Reactions range from ‘you don’t ACTUALLY do that, right?’, ‘I’d like to see that’, and ‘oh yeah something like that happened in *blank* before’

Eowyn’s cooking is genuinely poison but she bakes like a goddess. Her strawberry cobbler is to die for

Faramir actually doesn’t like horses very much, despite how good he is with them. This stems from an incident that happened when he and Boromir were 17 and 12 respectively; they’d gone out riding for a bit and on that ride both horses spooked - Boromir’s badly enough to buck him off, while Faramir’s horse reared up and nearly fell backwards. This made him develop a phobia that he only really got over once the War started. Still doesn’t like them, though.

Boromir has the worst alcohol tolerance in Gondor. The WORST tolerance. He cannot hold 2 mugs of ale, let alone more. Immediately drunk after just a mug and a half. What’s surprising is he isn’t the loud impulsive drunk one might expect him to be; he’s actually a depressing drunk who can get very morbid - Faramir on the other hand is likely to start a tavern brawl when drunk, if only because he loses all semblance of brain-to-mouth filter. This is why he doesn’t drink often, and generally only in the company of people he knows (such as the Rangers)

Remember Irolas, the guy I posted pictures of on here a while back when I rewatched Return of the King? Since he was originally meant to be Beregond, I’m now saying he’s Beregond’s identical twin brother. Yes, they did sometimes switch posts just to see if anyone would notice. The only person to notice was Denethor. He didn’t find it particularly funny.

Gimli actually knows a lot about cooking and likes to help Sam with dinner when the Fellowship sets up camp

#lotr headcanons #lotr #faramir #boromir #aragorn #gimli son of gloin #legolas #merry brandybuck #pippin took #gandalf #eowyn of rohan #irolas of gondor

[miloscat]

[Review] The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (XB/PS2)

A surprise double book adaptation underwhelms.

I remember playing this back when we first got our Xbox, and judging it inferior to EA’s Return of the King game. As part of my current larger quest through various Tolkien games, I replayed it and feel even worse about it. But I was interested to discover that the game released on PS2 and PC is not the same experience as the Xbox version. They’re broadly similar, but the differences make all the difference in the world.

When the game was announced, it was an Xbox exclusive by WXP. Later in development a port was developed by Surreal Software, with various changes made. I’ll talk about the differences as they come up. The first thing to know about this game is it was made without the movie licence (although it certainly takes inspiration from choices made for the movies). This means it lacks things like Weta’s design work or Howard Shore’s iconic score, but allows it the much-touted faithfulness and inclusion of book-exclusive content.

Now I don’t so highly prize faithfulness to the source material in an adaptation; rather, I like them to take liberties and expand in interesting ways. You do get some of that here, like some little good-deed quests in the Shire, meeting an Orc-enthralled Ori in Moria (Xbox only), or the early appearance of a Nazgûl’s fell beast (which apparently can breathe fire) as part of the final boss in the newly-created climax... but it’s not much. It is pretty cool seeing Tom Bombadil, living trees in the Old Forest, and barrow-wights, but at the same time the game completely skips over Boromir’s death, which I thought was an odd choice.

As for how the game plays, it’s been described as an action-adventure, if that means anything to you. If you ask me the action is repetitive and bland, and the adventuring dull and unrewarding. You will swap between playable characters depending on the level: Frodo is super wimpy and has a Fable-style morality meter, which after the first level in the Shire kind of gets forgotten about as a mechanic (mess with your neighbour’s stuff and it goes down, do quests and it goes up) and persists solely as a “Ring meter” to limit your use of the overpowered artefact. Really you can ignore this whole mechanic for the entirety of the game. Also, he’s the only one who can jump in the PS2 version.

When Aragorn is unlocked the combat becomes more bearable, and Gandalf is an unstoppable killing machine with his array of flashy magic spells, especially since the game overloads you with mana-restoring miruvor. The battling is where the experience is most different between the two versions; it’s actually ok on PS2. You can’t charge your attacks but you have a finishing move, enemies go down easier, and your ranged attack is actually worth a damn (and not subject to limited ammunition). Other Fellowship members also accompany you more often and help out in fights, making it less of a slog of attrition.

Generally speaking the PS2 version feels cut down from the Xbox version. Much of the level design is the same but simplified, there’s fewer quests and a smaller inventory to mess with, and a number of enemy types are missing. But the streamlining actually makes it a stronger experience I feel, less tedious and better balanced. Plus it uniquely has a fun secret weapon on the last level: a gift from Gollum replaces Andúril with a supremely powerful fish. And that’s not mentioning the biggest difference of all. The Xbox game is just way too dark. It’s gloomy, grey, occluded, grim, dim, dim, dim! I think they worked too hard on the technical aspects of the lighting engine without considering the actual playability of visibility. On PS2 you can actually see what you’re doing! And with a more cooperative camera to boot.

The two games share a lot of assets, including Pippin’s remarkably irritating voice, but there’s odd changes. Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas have new designs on PS2 (the latter’s Xbox model being recycled for Haldir), and Sam has both a new model and I’m pretty sure a new voice actor too. In all cases I actually prefer the Xbox models, although the PS2 Galadriel matches the FMV cutscenes better. On the other hand the returning enemies on PS2 also have new designs which I think are stronger, particularly the gnarly new troll variants.

Compared to the EA movie games focusing on being action brawlers, I appreciated having a bit more space here for a richer adventure, and for some slight elements of depth to the characters and world that the films necessarily had to cut. Also, I really appreciated being able to save and load at any time into unlimited save slots! Even so, it’s a clumsy, muddled game at the best of times... but if you are interested, I’d sooner suggest the PS2 and PC ports. Now, I wonder how the GBA release holds up...

#The Lord of the Rings #JRR Tolkien #fellowship of the ring #wxp #surreal software #xbox #ps2 #review

[weepylucifer]

i am reading the forgotten lord of the rings screenplay script and it is fucking wild

at first during the shire scenes it seems like “well this is a worse version of the peter jackson films” but it comes at you fast

bilbo doesn’t want to leave the shire at all, gandalf has to threaten him into doing so by means of all kinds of coded messages conveyed through magical fireworks in front of everyone at the birthday party completely in public

merry is described at multiple points as “the fat hobbit” and is there for comic relief which takes the form of fat jokes. pippin is “the skinny hobbit”

sam has all manners of weapons with him?? so far he has pulled out an axe and a large kitchen knife completely out of nowhere

aragorn dual-wields the two halves of narsil to fight (this would never work)

they don’t go to bree. they literally just meet aragorn on the road in the middle of nowhere and go with him for no reason. the dialogues in this are shit

what the Fuck

arwen is 13 here???

everyone abt sauron: hot twink

this visionary genius: combination mick jagger and punch

sauron’s ridiculous actions

nobody at the council of elrond respects bilbo and it sucks

this script makes it sound like gimli and legolas were chosen to go on the quest bc of race-specific talents they have (legolas the wood elf would help the fellowship navigate woods, gimli the dwarf would take over when they were underground) instead of just. to represent their people

arwen appears to the hobbits as a vision pointing them at where to go. out of the fellowship, only the hobbits and gandalf are aware of this, and it’s not addressed ever

the hobbits act like dumb children the entire time

there is a scene where boromir kisses aragorn (although that doesn’t Begin to describe the fuckery that is the context of this)

aragorn’s eyes change color from blue to gray 50 pages in

at one point gimli starts lamenting the fate of moria and gandalf (yes, this is before they actually go into moria) tells him to shut up and go gather wood

sauron: why are you hitting yourself

since when

gandalf gets everyone drunk, hypnotizes them and freezes them in a glacier

there is a bizarre scene in which gandalf gets gimli to open the door to moria. i literally cannot describe it

the orcs are kind of like robots who switch themselves on when touched???

literally the entire fellowship turns into a bunch of drooling horndogs of the worst kind at the sight of galadriel. at one point gimli says she’s “a fine stone for a dwarvish tool to carve” and merry eats a lembas (which in this version of lotr tastes like anything you’re thinking of while eating) and says “galadriel” implying that the lembas tastes like her pussy

i literally couldn’t be making this up

and yes, frodo fucks galadriel

and frodo becomes ultra-manly from fucking galadriel and “greater than she”

eowyn is now theoden’s daughter and eomer his son. why? none can tell

there are no ents in this script, merry and pippin go to rohan with gandalf. i have completely lost sight of where aragorn, legolas and gimli went

the battle of helm’s deep just? doesn’t happen?? gandalf talks to theoden and they directly go to minas tirith for,, no actual reason seeing as there also was no lighting of the beacons or nothing

legolas and gimli are... somewhere, and they summon armies of elves and dwarves out of literally nowhere, while aragorn amasses a zombie army. not the ghosts of the oathbreakers or anything, just literal zombies from some unnamed ancient battle

frodo is now a Manly Hero, says “i am the lord of the ring” and charges into battle with shelob. this writer understands nothing about frodo

this writer also keeps using the word “rhetorical” in the most ill-fitting and pointless contexts

apparently there is only one nazgul, who is a conglomeration of the original nine

if you think denethor’s crazy is way overdone in the peter jackson films, wait until you get a load of this guy

no mention is made of sam resisting the ring. sam puts on the ring IN FUCKING BARAD-DUR BECAUSE CONSEQUENCES ARE NOTHING IN THIS FUCK SHIT HELL OF A SCRIPT

denethor puts pippin in a bloodstained court jester outfit

it sure was an oversight of tolkien’s to have the men of rohan just fight some dudes with a banner that depicts a snake, instead of a literal monster snake. thank goodness this has now been corrected

oh yeah um,,,, faramir doesn’t exist in this script

aragorn gets with eowyn, whom he has never met before he heals her, in this one. makes sense i guess since arwen is 13 years old

eowyn gets to fight in the final battle, but it HAS to be pointed out that her armor “follows the contours of her body and breasts”

SARUMAN turns up again and he IS the mouth of sauron!!!

when sauron dies the orcs all turn over to the good side. lmao that is kind of cool

What?

#now i get why they used to call lotr unfilmable #lord of the rings #tolkien #lotr #the ending is completely silly and i shall post no more of this

[rohirric-hunter]

Léonys of Rohan Pt. 2

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 10

This part of the fic takes place at the end of Epic Vol. 1. After returning to Angmar with Narmelleth, Léonys and Hathellang stop in Bree-town on their way back to Rivendell. This one obviously ties more into the events of the game than Part 1, so bear that in mind while reading.

                        ***

This is how it is to be Léonys of Rohan:

The door to Old Lady Hackberry’s house seems to be smaller. Your key still fits, though, and you quietly let yourself and Hathellang in, shutting out the cool evening air. You step over twenty pairs of handmade shoes of all sizes in the mudroom -- two more than had been there when you had slipped out in the dead of night several months ago.

A hush falls over the Big Room as the two of you enter and then stop, the air before you thick like an invisible wall. Twenty or so people sit around a long wooden table. You didn’t make it yourself, as you made so much of the other furniture in the room -- it predates your time here -- but you’ve repaired it several times over the years with pitch and hemp, on one occasion fitting a new board to the left edge, after Helena Twobarrow apprenticed herself to Pete Shadetree and came home one evening with three new bronze knives that she was exceptionally proud of.

All pause to look at you. For a moment, silence reigns. You see yourselves reflected in their eyes: battered leather armor supplemented with a rather motley assortment of accessories from various sources. Your own jacket is carefully handstitched and fitted, and the two of you wear matching cloaks, but time had grown short and Hathellang is wearing a jerkin he took off an orc. It is not orc-make. Clearly the beast had stolen it from someone else, and the two of you have carefully cleaned it and mended it and altered it, but it still tells the tale of its last owner clearly. Your bracers were stolen from a man of Angmar and you’ve done your best to scrape away the evil symbols painted on them, but you can’t hide that they are much too big for you. Hathellang's boots are the same ones he wore when he followed you out of Bree-town months ago, but yours caught on a piece of fallen masonry in Annuminas and tore beyond repair, and the ones you are wearing now are on loan from a Ranger at Tinnudir named Danalar. They, like the rest of your armor, are clean, but bear the scars of many battles. Your bow and knives could perhaps be passed as the usual gear of a hunter to the untrained eye, but the scar above your right eye leaves no doubt as to what you've actually been doing, and Hathellang is wearing a sword.

"Léonys, Hathellang, it's good to see you." Lady Hackberry’s smile is thin with stress but warm as ever. Hathellang takes the first step forward, slow and heavy. "Young man!” the lady of the house says, sharp, but not unkind. “What have I told you about wearing your shoes inside?"

He stoops and unbuckles his boots with a flush, and you quickly follow suit. “I hope you haven’t been tracking mud in all over other people’s rugs,” she adds, and you think with some guilt of the beautiful tiled floors of Rivendell, the hand-crafted rugs in the libraries of Esteldín and Tinnudir, and even the clean-swept floor of Gath Forthnír, bare of luxuries or decor but worn smooth and well-loved.

As you slip your borrowed boots from your feet and turn to place them in the mudroom, your eye catches on your bracer and it strikes you like a hammerstroke that there is no real need, here in Bree-town, to eat in full kit, prepared for an attack at any moment. Hathellang meets your eyes and then takes your right hand, gently undoing the knot that keeps the oversized bracer on your wrist and loosening the lacing until it slides off. He sheds his cloak as you loosen the other bracer. With a quick nudge you direct him to raise his arm so you can undo the buckles that hold his jacket on at the side. With quick and practiced movements you shed your armor and leave it in two little heaps just inside the mudroom. Then, the two of you turn and approach the table, and the others slide up to make space for you.

They are eager to hear tales of your travels and clamor for news of far away lands, and you and Hathellang are equally eager to oblige. You tell them about the Eglain, a heavily sanitized tale that leaves out the horrors of Garth Agarwen entirely (there is no need for children living in the shadow of the Barrow-Downs to hear such tales, you agreed before you arrived), and about the Shire (but not the goblins encroaching from the north, as it strikes rather close to home, with the orcs dug in south of Trestlebridge), and about the far-off Blue Mountains, of war between two tribes of Dwarves and of Elves sailing away, never to return (but not of the evil spirits which you have learned also dwell less than a day's march from your own home). Between bites of tender venison and fresh roasted vegetables you eagerly relate as many of your adventures as seem appropriate for the ears of the youngest children. Long after the food is finished and the dishes have been pushed to the center of the table the two of you continue to eagerly speak, waving mugs around to emphasize points and brandishing table knives as makeshift weapons. Your tale bounds far away from Bree-land, down the East Road and across the Last Bridge into the Trollshaws and finally comes to a rest at Rivendell, welcomed by wide eyes and excited exclamations of: "Did you meet an elf, Leoony?" "Oh, tell us about the elves!"

Most of the children here have never seen an elf; until you set out you had only seen two yourself, resting at the Prancing Pony after a long day of travel, and you had not spoken to them. You tell them of Lord Elrond and the Lady Arwen and of Glorfindel, but your tales ever return to Elladan and Elrohir, and Legolas of Mirkwood, with whom you had dealt most closely. An unspoken agreement constrains you from speaking of Laerdan or Narmelleth, but they remain in the corners of your tales, their shadows hanging over the evening.

You fall silent, staring at the grain of the table and running your thumb across it. You suddenly feel very vulnerable without your armor.

Dorian Bindbore, barely eight if you remember right, interrupts the silence with a simple question. “Why were you in Rivendell?”

You leap at the opportunity to begin speaking again and shut out the quiet. “We were first sent there to bring a message to Strider,” you say, “from one of the other --”

“Léonys!” Lady Hackberry exclaims, horror written all over her features. She says no more, but you can read her meaning clearly in her eyes: Do not speak of Rangers in front of the other children.

Too late. Every eye in the room is turned to you, even those that had begun to lose interest or drift off to sleep before. Everyone knows of Strider the Ranger, and everyone has been warned to keep their distance from his corner of the Prancing Pony, or any other public house they happened to find him in, for that matter.

“You know Strider?” Helena asks, eyes gleaming with unspoken questions.

Before she can ask any of them, Tirwin Unmunder cuts in. “Is that his real name?”

You hesitate. Twenty-one pairs of eyes stare at you; nineteen in riveted curiosity, one in resigned disapproval, and one in expectation. You say nothing.

“No,” Hathellang says finally.

“Well what is it?” Dorian demands, leaning forward across the table.

“Not ours to tell,” he responds, and quickly takes a drink. The room erupts into a chorus of demands to know the Man’s identity, with the occasional shout of, Oi, we’d tell you! or How do we know you’re not just making this all up?

“What were you doing there?” Dorian asks Hathellang. “You’ve always told us not to trust Rangers.”

Hathellang looks like he’s swallowed a bone. “I might have misjudged,” he mumbles.

“What’s that?” Helena asks, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t hear you, Hathellang.”

“Yes, you did,” Hathellang responds, grabbing a fork and pointing it at her meaningfully.

She shrugs. “Okay. You appear to have just admitted to being wrong, and I wanted you to say it louder.”

“That’s enough!” Lady Hackberry finally cuts in. “Helena, you’re being very rude to Hathellang. Anna, stop making that face. You’ll give yourself wrinkles. Can we all talk about something a bit more --” she waves a hand helplessly “-- civilized?”

“No!” You surprise even yourself by standing up and slamming your hand down on the table. “No, we cannot talk about something more civilized, because -- because --” You trail off. Once again, everyone is staring at you. Lady Hackberry stands to meet your eyes.

Hathellang stands up as well. “There was an orc attack on Trestlebridge,” he says, his voice clear and loud now.

“We know,” Lady Hackberry says. “Don’t --”

“Well, do you know why Trestlebridge is still standing?” he cuts her off.

“Hathellang, don’t interrupt,” the lady of the house says.

You grab Hathellang’s hand, taking comfort in his solidarity. “The first attack devastated the town. A second would have destroyed it,” you say. “But there was no second attack, because it was held off at the bridge by a Ranger.”

“And us,” Hathellang adds.

“That’s not all,” you continue, not waiting for a response and feeling your righteous anger grow with every word. “The marshes are crawling with goblins. Nothing stands between them and Staddle but the Rangers. The bandits are bolder than ever, with worse designs. Who keeps them out of Bree-town?”

“We’ve always had bandits,” Lady Hackberry says pacifyingly.

“I was in Archet when the Blackwolds burned it to the ground!” you practically shout, bringing your free hand down on the table again.

Silence falls over the room like a heavy woolen blanket. Everyone is staring. You feel out of breath, like you’ve just run a race. You glance around, from the horrified eyes of Lady Hackberry to the confused eyes of the younger children to the fascinated eyes of your peers, and then drop Hathellang’s hand and run from the room.

Lady Hackberry finds you in the stables, sitting on the edge of an empty stall and watching Thadden eat. She climbs onto the empty trough and settles on the dividing wall next to you. For a moment, she is silent, and then she whispers, “I am not accusing the Rangers of being bandits themselves. I hope you know that.”

You swing your legs out and kick your heels into the wall. “I will not let people hold them responsible for the evils they guard against anymore,” you say.

“Be careful,” Lady Hackberry says. “I know they mean no harm, and I have raised my children as best I can to show them no ill will, but if some Men heard you defend them they would do some evil, I think.”

“Like who?” you laugh. You have stood beside enough Rangers in battle against far darker things now that the idea of getting into an argument with a Bree-lander is no fearsome prospect.

“Harry Goatleaf and Bill Ferny, to name a few,” Lady Hackberry says.

You lean your head on her shoulder, accepting that her methods, while unfair, are born from a genuine concern for your safety. “Bill Ferny is a filthy coward who picks fights and then runs from them,” you say.

“Excuse me?” she says, slowly processing the implications of your claim.

“And I have seen him meet with orcs. He is in no position to speak ill of anyone.”

Lady Hackberry laughs sadly. “It seems he may so vocally slander them to further his own aims.” She wraps an arm around your shoulders and squeezes gently. “I see that whatever you have been doing -- and I do not want to know what you have been doing -- you have learned to watch out for yourself. I am proud of you. But imagine if Dorian or one of the younger children went about town saying such things. At best their playmates would shun them. At worst…”

She slips off the edge of the stall and walks toward the wagon you and Hathellang brought back from the north. “What is in here?” she asks, taking the cover in her hands and flipping it back.

You quickly slide off the stall yourself and step forward, but Hathellang appears in the door to the stable before you can reach her. He reaches out and grabs her hand before she can reveal too many of the wagon’s contents. “Don’t look in that,” he says quietly and uncharacteristically solemnly. Lady Hackberry stares at him for a moment before withdrawing her hand.

Much of what is packed on the wagon is meant to stay here, on the estate. Food stores and money and a few valuables you had picked up to be resold, strange metals that Hathellang had found and wondrously tough hides from the beasts of Angmar and Forochel. You and Hathellang had borne the bulk of the breadwinning before you left, between your hunting trips and woodcarving, and his tailoring and those less than legitimate means of income that everyone silently chooses not to acknowledge. The others will have struggled without you, and hopefully this can begin to make up for the months you’ve been gone.

The body of Narmelleth, however, lying in a long, narrow box that leaves nothing to the imagination, is bound for Rivendell. She’s been wrapped in linen and interred with charms and herbs that Golodir had promised would keep her from decomposing before you reached your goal. There had been no question of leaving her lying on that plateau overlooking Carn Dûm, and when you had returned to Gath Forthnír the Ranger captain had advised that she be returned to Rivendell to be buried beside her father.

Lady Hackberry does not question you, however, but simply steps away from the wagon. “Will you be staying?” she asks, but by the sadness in her eyes you can see she already knows the answer.

“We will return,” you say quickly. “But first we have one more errand in Rivendell.”

The Lady looks at you knowingly. “Oh, but Rivendell is so close to the Mountains,” she says. “And the world beyond that you have yet to see.” She gently brushes a lock of your short hair behind your ear. “And I know you greatly desire to see what lies east of those mountains.”

“It’s a long way to Rohan from Rivendell,” you say wryly. “You needn’t worry too much.”

She wraps her arms around you and tucks your head under her chin. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 10

#lotr #lotro #lord of the rings #lord of the rings online #lord of the rings online fanfiction #lotr oc #leonys of rohan

[random-imagines-blog]

Jenny of Oldstones {Frodo Baggins x Reader}

Requested by: @depressed-comics Wordcount: 2241 Summary: Encouraged by Pippin, you show off your singing skills to the company. Your best friend Frodo is taken aback by the fact you never told him you could sing. Notes: Song is Jenny of Oldstones by Florence + The Machine

Having a Baggins as a best friend meant that you were always in for a world of adventure. It started with being babysat by Bilbo, and listening to the tales of his adventures. And then as you grew up, it turned into going through his vast library and pulling the tomes off of the shelves and going through them. You loved the tales of the dwarves best. Elves were cool and all, but it seemed like all that they wanted to do was look pretty in the trees. Humans were too easily corrupted but the dwarves - they just wanted to make things. You related to them in that way, though you didn’t want to work in the mines and make pretty golden things. You wanted to make music, but you kept that to yourself. Only your friend Pippin knew, and that’s because you stumbled upon him when he was singing. You showed him that you could sing too, and the both of you would sometimes meet up at night and practice duets together. The only thing was, you made him promise that he wouldn’t ever reveal it to Frodo. You were a bit frightened of what he might think if he found out. It was the only thing that you had that was separate from him.

The world of adventure grew bigger when Gandalf came from Uncle Bilbo’s birthday. It had started off with fireworks, and ended up as the beginning of a quest. You refused to leave Frodo’s side on most occasions, so of course Gandalf wasn’t even going to attempt to hide this from you. Sam then listened in from outside, the fumbling gardener that you also considered to be a close friend, and soon enough, you knew what you had to do.

You were swept into a journey straight out of Bilbo’s stories! Gandalf seemed to be the writer, and the instigator of them both. Running into Merry and Pippin, going to Bree, being far from the Shire, that was adventure enough. But then Aragorn, the night riders, Rivendell, meeting the elves, forming the Fellowship! And on top of that, being the only female on the ten-person group! The people back in The Shire were never going to believe this.

It was your second night away from Rivendell. Mordor, especially Mount Doom, still seemed so far away. The land was still in peace where the ten of you were camping out for the night, creating a fire before the skies got too dark. You were peeling up some potatoes for a makeshift stew, using the knife that you had gotten in the Elven city. Everyone got new weapons there, and you thought yours was pretty nifty, though you were a little disappointed you didn’t get a fancy sword like Aragorn. Still, you had your eyes set on using it the next time that Boromir offered to teach you and the other hobbits how to fight.

Sam was on one side of you, peeling some carrots and throwing them into the pot. Frodo had his head on your lap, stretched out as he seemed to be in constant contemplation. It was hard not to look at him with pity these days. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders. And not just that, but an evil overlord on top of that world, making it heavier and heavier by the day. Pippin and Merry weren’t helping all that much, not that you had expected them too, and they were pestering Boromir about some argument that they had earlier that morning about him eating the apple that Merry specifically wanted. Legolas and Gimli were on opposite sides of the camp, not having gotten used to one another and Aragorn was across from you, stripping rabbits for the stew.

“You alright?” You asked Frodo, taking a break to run your fingers through his curly hair. He looked up at you with his wide blue eyes and nodded.

“Just tired,” He said, quietly. You knew he didn’t like to complain much, even though he had the biggest burden to bear out of all of you. You gave him a wary smile, knowing that it was more than that, but you would let it go. If he really wanted to talk about it, you had full faith that he would come to you. That’s what best friends did.

“Know what would go great with dinner?” Pippin asked, coming and sitting by you and Sam.

“Your help,” Sam muttered, throwing his carrots into the pot. You chuckled at his answer, somewhat agreeing, but then again - you weren’t sure that Pippin could cook at all. His help might actually hinder the meal.

“A song!” He grinned widely at you in the earnest way that he always did when he would try to get you to sing. You shook your head quickly, and looked towards the boiling pot as a distraction.

“Go ahead and sing then, Pip.” You said, picking up another potato and started to peel it.

“I’m sick of his voice, let someone else sing for once,” Merry joined the group, warming his feet by the fire. That he hadn’t helped to create, by the way. He looked over at you with a joyful, but mischevious expression on his face. “Come on, y/n, I’ve never heard you sing, you’ve got to know some songs.”

“He’s right, you never sing,” Sam said thoughtfully, his mood slowly turning from annoyed to curious. “Even at the parties.”

“Everyone knows y/n doesn’t sing,” Frodo jumped in, thinking that he was defending you. He sat up and put his arm around your shoulder. “So leave her alone.”

“She does too sing!” Pippin said,  making you shoot a glare at him. “Oh come on, we’re on an adventure, a quest! There’s no better time for you to show them than now!”

“Do you ever think with your working brain, Took?” You asked, leaning into your best friends embrace.

“There’s no harm in a song,” Boromir smiled his most charming smile and took a seat around the fire. Eventually, the elf and the dwarf did too. The only one who took no interest in the conversation was Aragorn, who continued to work at the rabbit. “Especially from a lass. Treat us to a song!”

You flushed slightly under Boromir’s smile. You might be a Hobbit, but you could appreciate the beauty that humans have. He was so unlike all of the Hobbits that you had seen. But you still preferred the curls of Hobbits over the lankiness of Human hair. “If you don’t mind your ears bleeding, I guess I know a song.”

You avoided looking at Frodo as you started to sing the song. Your voice was like a fog across the ground, spreading as you grew louder, the lyrics from your childhood spilling out. It was a song that your mother used to sing to you when you two went to pick flowers for her to sell at the market. It was a bit of a sad song, but it was good for nights like this.

“High in the halls of the kings who are gone, Jenny would dance with her ghosts, the ones she had lost and the ones she had found, and the ones who had loved her the most...”

Pippin was smiling widely like an idiot. Merry and Sam had their jaws dropped. They’ve never heard you sing, and now they were both wondering why that was. They were entranced by your voice - but not as much as Frodo was. His mouth was closed, but he was biting the inside of his cheek.

“The ones who’d been gone for so very long, she couldn’t remember their names. They spun her around on the damp old stones, spun away all her sorrow and pain.”

Aragorn threw the chunks of meat into the boiling pot. Boromir crossed his legs as he sat on the ground and leaned in to listen. Frodo leaned away from you, his arm leaving your shoulders.

“And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave...”

Legolas leaned against a tree, his arms crossed in front of him. His eyes shone against the darkness, almost as bright as the fire beneath the pot.

“They danced through the day and into the night through the snow that swept through the hall, from winter to summer to winter again, till the walls did crumble and fall.”

Frodo got to his feet and took a couple of steps away from the fire. Sam had to quickly throw himself forward to stir the stew before it started to bubble over. Gimli came over, mumbling to himself, but stopped when he heard your singing.

“And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave...”

You finished the song and rested your hands on your lap, unsure of how to react to the scattering of applause that came from your companions. Well, from all except one of them. The important one. Frodo had walked away completely by the time your last note hit the air, and you looked at the way that he had gone. Sam picked up one of the potatoes left in your pile and started to peel, allowing you to get up and to follow your best friend. You found him by the river that you had camped near, running his fingers through the shallow water, his exposed toes just sunk under into the sand. The moonlight was enough light for you to see him fairly clearly. “Are you mad at me?”

“You kept a secret from me,” Frodo said, his voice as soft as ever. It was almost hard to tell that he was angry, or at least it was until he turned to face you. There was a snarl on his face, which took you offguard and you took a step backward. You had seen that face, but never was it geared towards you.

“It wasn’t exactly a secret, Frodo, I-” You knew that you had no real defense against this. It was something that you kept from him, for no good reason either.

“How long have you been singing with Pippin then?” He asked, his volume getting louder. He kicked at the water, making ripples in it which spread away from the shore.

“We’d just grab a tankard and then go by the lake,” You explained. “He loves to sing, you know that, and one night I just kinda ... I guess I joined him.”

“You just kind of joined him?” He shot back.

“It’s just singing, Frodo, it’s a hobby. Lots of people do it! It’s not like it’s against the law or anything! You’re acting as if we’ve slept together or something.” It started to seem like Frodo was just looking for a reason to get upset, and so you were getting mad in retaliation. How dare he be mad because you have a good singing voice! “I know that you’re stressed from this quest and all, but turning against your best friend because of a song is not the way to deal with that. I expect an apology.”

Frodo was clearly not expecting your attitude. He blinked his wide blue eyes a couple of times before looking down at his feet. “I just thought that we did everything together. I always told you everything.”

“And I tell you-”  You suddenly understood exactly why he was mad. You closed your mouth back up and hung your head. You took a deep breath before you would talk again. “It’s just singing. It’s not like I do it often. Only when I’m cleaning up around the house, really.”

“And when you’re out with Pippin somewhere, practicing!” Frodo said right back.

“A very short list.” You pointed out. “I wouldn’t even call it a hobby. But fine, when we destroy the ring and get back to the Shire and things to back to normal, I’ll sing more for you, how about that?”

“I’d like that,” Frodo said after some consideration. You smiled weakly, hoping that this was the end of the argument.

“I hate fighting with you, Frodo. I promise, I’ll never hide anything like this ever again. In that case, I should tell you something else.”

“What?” He asked, big eyes glowing crystal in the moonlight.

“I stole Merry’s mother’s recipe for strawberry tarts, and have been practicing them,” You said with a coy grin. “I planned on bringing you one once I get it perfect, but it hasn’t happened yet. I’ve gotten pretty close, though.”

“Strawberries...” Frodo said, his mouth beginning to water at the thought. It had been some time since he had a strawberry tart, and with the journey ahead of them, it looked like it would be even longer before he would have the pleasure.

“I suppose I’ll have to start up again the instant we get home,” You lit up, glad that your best friend seemed to be back to normal again. You shyly took his hand, which he squeezed in return, and headed back to the camp site in time to try the rabbit stew.

#Frodo #Frodo Baggins #Frodo Baggins x reader #Frodo Baggins oneshot #Lord of the Rings #Lord of the Rings oneshot #LOTR #LOTR oneshot #requested #oneshot

[searchingwardrobes]

Someone to Watch Over Me: 14/24

Finally, another update of this fic! This story was giving me SO much trouble! Finally, I ended up scrapping everything I had planned from this chapter on and starting over. Remember when I said Regina would stay full on Evil Queen in this? Sorry, but the muse went in a different direction. Still, I'm excited about where this will go.

I also sincerely apologize for chapter 13. I must have been really tired or something when I posted it because, good Lord! there were a lot of errors! I went in and edited it, and I am so embarrassed it has been sitting here for all the world to see, full of typos and verb tense shifts. So sorry about that!

You know that saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? I've personally always thought it should be "Hell hath no fury like a mama bear when you mess with her cub." Hence this chapter title . . .

Summary: Emma Swan is ten when she first sees the pair of bright blue eyes through the cracked door of the wardrobe. She thinks it’s just an imaginary friend until she sees those same eyes again at 16 and 23. Inspired by this prompt: a child is kidnapped, and the monster under the bed isn’t happy about it.

Rating: T

Trigger warning: attempted rape and violence in chapter two (violence because the “monster” gets pissed)

Words: about 2,000 in this chapter

Also on Ao3

Tagging: @snowbellewells @kmomof4 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @winterbaby89 @kday426 @thislassishooked @teamhook @bethacaciakay @snidgetsafan @delirious-latenight-laughs @jennjenn615 @vvbooklady1256 @mythologicalmango @shireness-says (Let me know if anyone wants to be removed/added to the tagging list for this fic.)

 Chapter 14: Hell Hath No Fury

Killian gently stops Emma as she races out of Granny’s with his hook around her elbow. She sighs as she spins around. They’ve had many good-natured, teasing arguments about who’s faster, and normally she could outrun him no matter what he says, but these days there’s a definite waddle to her gait, much as she’s loathe to admit it.

“Now don’t give me that look, love,” he says with a gentle smile.

“We can’t just sit around while the Dark One plots his revenge!”

“I know that,” he tells her softly as he steps closer, “better than anyone, but even with your powerful magic it isn’t wise to go up against the bloody crocodile alone.”

“I can’t believe I was so naïve,” Emma mumbles against Killian’s chest as he draws her close.

Another hand cups her head and another one rubs her back. She looks up from the shelter of Killian’s embrace to see her parents on either side of her.

“No Emma,” Snow says gently, “you weren’t naïve to give Henry a chance to know his father.”

Emma steps back with her fists clenched. Her entire family regards her with worried expressions, even Martha who’s being held in her grandmother’s arms. At the outpouring of love and concern, she deflates.

“You’re right,” she admits, “all of you.”

“We’ll deal with the Dark One, love,” Killian assures her, “but we’ll do it together.”

There’s a sudden commotion heading down the street: Grumpy and the rest of the dwarves shouting and shaking their picks in the air, other residents screaming and ducking behind vehicles and into the nearest storefronts, and in the middle of it all is Regina Mills making her way with angry strides down the street. Whenever an irate citizen lobs a rock or piece of trash in her direction, she incinerates it casually with a fireball, her stony gaze fixed on the family gathered outside of Granny’s. Emma pushes her family behind her and raises both hands which light up with magic. Her husband and her father both draw their swords. She's sure her mother would pull out a bow and arrow if she weren’t rushing Martha back into the diner. Emma chuckles when she sees Granny march out with a crossbow to stand at Emma’s side.

“Oh for God’s sake, put down the weapons,” Regina snaps when she gets close enough, “the reason I’m here is something we can all agree on.”

“I seriously doubt that,” David snaps.

“I don’t have time for your witty villain/hero dialogue,” despite her sarcasm, Regina’s façade cracks. “It’s Henry.”

“Henry?” Emma asks, lowering her hands.

“Rumplestiltskin has him,” Regina tells them, her voice shaking as tears well up in her eyes, “and I can’t do a damn thing about it because I can’t cross the town line!”

“She’s right,” Happy speaks up, immediately earning him punches from his fellow dwarves. “Ow! What? It’s true. We pushed Sneezy over and now he doesn’t know who he is.”

“You pushed one of your brothers over the town line?” David asks.

“He drew the short straw,” Grumpy argues.

“Shut up!” Regina screams. “My son has been kidnapped!”

“And how do we know you aren’t in league with the Crocodile?” Killian asks. “How do we know we can trust you?”

“He’s right,” Emma agrees, lifting her hands again. “You cast the curse. Why wouldn’t you be able to leave?”

“I don’t know!” Regina shouts, her hands shaking. “Rumple cast a spell or something. He’s taken Henry to New York, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it!”

The sound of a cell phone ringing pierces the tension, and Regina pulls her phone from her coat pocket. “Henry?” Eyes wide, Regina looks at Emma. “It’s for you.”

Emma takes it from Regina, and though she’s wary, she has to admit the woman seems truthful. Everything about her demeanor says she is distraught and desperate for help. She still refuses to take her eyes off the Evil Queen, however, as she puts the phone to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Ms. Swan, good afternoon. You never told me we were practically related.”

Rumplestiltskin.

“There’s someone here who wishes to speak with you,” he tells her smoothly.

“Emma!”

“Henry!”

The adults around her surge closer at her exclamation. Emma lifts a hand to still them all, Henry clearly isn’t distressed, and she doesn’t want to put him in any danger.

“Hey, kid. What’s up?”

“Dad is taking me on a trip to New York, isn’t that cool? My mom even said I could go!”

Emma glances over at Regina, who has clearly heard Henry’s words. Her eyes widen, and she gives her head a quick shake. The woman is clearly telling the truth – she had no idea Neal and his father were taking Henry on a trip, especially not to New York.

“And guess what else? Mr. Gold is my grandpa too! I mean, I hardly had any family at all, and now look! All because you broke the curse. I knew you would fix everything!”

Emma presses her lips together. “Speaking of, kiddo, can you put your dad on the phone?”

“Sure!”

“Ems -”

“Don’t Ems me, Neal,” she hisses into the phone, “how could you do this?”

“Do what? Protect my kid from a town full of bat shit crazy?”

“Oh, really? So you take off with your father, the freakin DARK ONE?”

There’s a rustling sound, and then Rumplestiltskin is back on the line. “Let’s all get along, Ms. Swan, after all, we’re family. Henry is in good hands, believe me.”

“We will find you,” Emma hisses, “we will find you and get him back!”

“Find us? Out here in the Land Without Magic? Now won’t that be interesting to see.”

Then the line goes dead. Emma squeezes the phone in her palm, her entire body trembling. The Dark One has just pissed off the wrong mother. She glances at Regina and for the first time feels a bit of solidarity with the woman.

Correction, he just pissed off two dangerous women.

**************************************************

“How do we know if we can trust Regina?”

David’s question is the same one on everyone else’s mind as Emma paces the living area in their room at Granny’s. Martha is napping in her and Killian’s bed, thankfully.

“Listen,” Killian says hesitantly, “I know my history with Regina isn’t as complicated as yours, but I of all people know how having a child changes you.”

Emma stops her pacing and smiles fondly at her husband. “I know that, babe, but has it changed Regina? She mistreated Henry, made him think he was crazy.”

“Was that because she was evil,” Killian asks sincerely, “or was it because she was afraid he wouldn’t love her back if he learned the truth?”

“That’s no excuse!” Snow exclaims. “None of you have any idea how good she is at manipulation.”

“On the contrary,” Killian sighs, his eyes downcast, “I’m afraid I do. She and I once worked together. It isn’t something I’m proud of, believe me.”

Killian rolls his shoulders back, and Emma’s heart swells with pride as he looks her father head on. “One thing I know, I’ve never seen Regina frantic like this.”

“Maybe not,” David argues, “but how do we know she isn’t working with Gold? How do we know this isn’t their plan to lure the savior away?”

Killian locks eyes with Emma, unwavering faith shining in his eyes. “You used your superpower, right love? Was she lying?”

Emma chews on her bottom lip. “No. She wasn’t lying. She had no idea Neal and his father were taking Henry to New York.”

“But we still don’t know if Gold is luring you away,” Snow points out.

“You’re right,” Emma sighs, “we don’t, but what can we do? We have to get Henry back, and I’m the only one who can go.”

“That’s not true,” her father says, voice intense as he gazes first at Emma and then at Killian. “Your husband should go with you. He was never under the curse, he can cross the town line.”

“What about Martha?” Emma exclaims.

Snow steps close and puts an arm around her daughter. “She has her grandparents.”

David nods, “Don’t worry, Emma, she’ll be safe with us. You don’t need to go alone.”

Emma watches a variety of emotions cross her husband’s face, and her heart breaks a little bit at the shock displayed there. He still doesn’t feel worthy, and she hates it.

“You . . . you trust me, mate? A pirate?”

David slaps a hand to Killian’s shoulder. “I’m trusting my son . . . in-law.”

**************************************************

The boy will be your undoing . . . the boy . . . your undoing . . . then I’ll just have to kill him . . . kill him . . .

Rumplestiltskin hobbles down the streets of New York, the words from so long ago playing in his mind. He’s found his son, actually has a chance at a good relationship with Bae, and yet the prophecy hangs over his head. The Dark One magic thrums through his veins, hissing, snapping, practically commanding him to just kill Henry. But he’s his grandson. Baelfire’s own boy!

He expected to feel his magic fade away the minute he crossed the town line, and while it did dampen somewhat, it still remains. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword. Part of him is relieved to still have his magic at his disposal, even if it’s subdued, even if he has to limp around the city. The magic is there, and that means he isn’t impotent. He can solve this little dilemma. Of course, the Dark Magic controls him, seduces him, in a way no one can comprehend or understand. Belle never understood. Neither does his son. Both of them wanted him to give it up. Don’t they know they ask the impossible?

Rumple doesn’t know the city, but he knows magic, and he’s been following a trail of it for an hour now. Baelfire and Henry are asleep back at his son’s apartment, but this magic called to him so incessantly, he couldn’t ignore it.

He stops in front of a storefront in Chinatown: The Dragon? He pushes on the door, a bell tinkling to announce his presence. A man in traditional Chinese garments turns to face Rumplestiltskin, and he instantly knows: this Dragon person isn’t from The Land Without Magic. His person and this store reeks with magic. So much so that the Dark One breathes deep of it, and Rumple smiles sadistically.

“May I help you?”

“Yes, I need magic.”

The man chuckles.”Oh really? And what sort?”

“The kind that can dispose of an . . . inconvenience.”

The boy would not be his undoing.

#cs ff #cs canon divergence #alternate season one/two #soul mates #time travel #magical wardrobe

[riverdoge]

Let’s Class the Fellowship!

So the Fellowship of the Ring is one of the oldest baselines for the classic adventuring party, right? Well I’m re-watching the films and I thought “Hey, what would these characters actual D&D classes be?”

So if we look at translating the characters directly into classes we wouldn’t get much variety, mostly just fighters, rangers, maybe a couple rogues, and one Wizard, which is hardly very diverse or well balanced. So let’s take the basics of the characters personalities and backstories and build a more balanced party out of them!

Gandalf - Protector Aasaimar Wizard (Abjuration) / Paladin (Devotion) - Wizard is the obvious choice, but his proficiency with a Longsword and pretty staunch mission screams Paladin to me too. He probably only had one or two levels in Pally before he returned as The White, after which he had way more. Also Aasaimar cuz like in the Deep Lore he and the other wizards are basically angles, so it seemed fitting.

Frodo - Lightfoot Halfling Warlock (The Great Old One) - Just double down on the whole Ring and connection to Sauron by literally making Frodo trapped in a Pact with him. Nothing screams Warlock plot like setting out to kill your fuckin patron. His Pact weapon is Sting obvs

Sam - Stout Halfling Cleric (Nature) - good ol’ Sam, always trying his best to protect and help and keep everyone alive. Went with Nature Domain just cuz of his being from the Shire and his botanical background

Merry - Stout Halfling Fighter (Champion) - Merry’s a tough and resolute fellow, he doesn’t have any specific remarkable skills, but he’s always got your back and he’s tough to keep down.

Pippin - Lightfoot Halfling Bard (Valor) - Pippin is absolutely the classic Bard that wants to be a totally cool and smooth badass but is too busy horribly failing every single roll he makes.

Aragorn - Human Ranger (Hunter) / Paladin (Crown) - Pretty straightforward reasoning for this one, considering he’s basically what the Ranger class is based on. He’d obviously start and play much of the campaign as a ranger, but as he finally starts to accept the fact he’s the proper King of Gondor he starts taking some pally. Also he’s probably some homebrew Human subrace as a Dunedain.

Legolas - Wood Elf Rouge (Scout) - While a Ranger probably seems more standard and fitting for Legos considering his background and such, he’s too busy pulling off the wildest acrobatic shit and getting the most kills and doing the most damage, thus Rogue. and the Scout Rogue is all about operating in the woods and wilderness as opposed to urban environments, so it works out.

Gimli - Mountain Dwarf Barbarian (Battlerager) - Another pretty easy one, Gimli like to Get Pissed and Kill the fuck out of things. Went with Battlerager since it’s Dwarf specific. Another one I thought about was Ancestral Guardian just to draw upon his relation to past dwarf characters in the setting.

Boromir - Human Fighter (Cavalier) - good ol’ proper Knight, trying his best.

[glopratchet]

village

with an old rusty tank You see a man in a military uniform standing near it, he looks at you and waves his hand You don't know what it is about, but you can tell something bad is going to happen soon in a bunker under the tank and attached himself to the evangelist community This doctor is injecting something into the coffee urn that he got from who knows where and manageing to live out their old age in some joy, but the trade off is alzheimers and hair loss as well as some other side effects people played board games anywhere they could in these moments before it all ended, people were clumped together intrested in conversation or untill the end of the world whenever it may come those who think they are living thier lives in final preparation for the end of the world, and those who actually think it\\\'s the end of the the CD player The first camp is amicable and does what they can for each other the 'Tolkienites' and they refer to the contentment of the Shire The leader is reading the hobbit to the rest of the group the to find the Shire, or at least they want something that can convincingly pass as one The second camp is despirate and wicked THE LIGHT AND IS EVIL AND WILL SHOOT ANYONE WHO DOES NOT AGREE WITH IT only that which is base and real They want to eat, shag and have fun untill dooms day three vertical bars of red and they have sworn never to sheath their swords until the downfall of the collective/ the downfall of the world the other, but both can not live in this place He states, 'my generation created technology, it us up to us to learn to master it' Samuel is caught webcamming some girls The villagers grinds to a halt, it becomes even more boring than it was because of this discovery 't take it anymore and leave It is up to every one stop them Jacob discovers that the black substance is goo that was made by the machines to think, it was a roboid rises in The Black Barrators and a decision is made this is an uprising on the government: 'It' does something to the government ; (removing the need for it aloofness) A vicious battle ensure, there is only ( major - Bad stuff happens) Evil ; (general- the realists take control and you don't like it) Good ; ( general - harmony is found ? So much history is being discovered that it might as well be new The history of the old world that is ous chemicals are released into the atmosphere to create epidemics and plagues s of nuclear warfare are made Massive armies are amassed alongside huge navies ready just itching to clash into war creates weapons that can level whole cites in a flash of nuclear fire hangs over the entire earth, it is 1995 and the clocks striking twelve hangs over the earth, and only one man can save the world No, I did'nt forget that it was George W is the cause of major conflicts in the republic Now don't start booing or hissing just yet, just consider if the earth was visited by some aliens III: Changes in the government system The gov finds a new way of goverrunce, it is called Insurgence and black sheep ; (mainly from the RMG) are sent to camps where they might learn how destructive it is to go against a stable government qualities and knowledge are weaved out of them in a system known as ROT ; (read only once) ions come from several ethical fronts, but when a biological weapon is found in the hands of a disgruntled worker things change for good It could have been worse is created, a barren wasteland in the west of the former states where life cannot exist Cool! across the globe, a sign that the governments time is up 2304 howl their mournful song through the dead night, as I write this with my best wishes that you survive this lie where they were dropped in the last days of mankind, most have deteriorated or even been carried off by the scavenging animals of carrion lies rotten and splayed out over the cracked earth, flies crawl over it and buzz around the heads of the dead peaks that were once snowcapped tower above you, their silhouettes blocking out the sun Scraping over the rocky ground is heard slowly stalks towards you and raises his head at your doom approaches It's toomuchforme the size of daggers slash forward You have grown weary of running or are you something greater, that will be revealed in the afterlife (The government) Good ; (Wolves suck) You were a praised hero came ; (Jacob) His dad killed most of the Wolves Too many losses (poisonous because of nuclear spills and Rots release of deadly chemicals) Killzone ; (Camp) Neutral ; (refugee camp outside Flagstaff), changes (Careca) Changes Gooks ; (The government employees that run the C People like Jacob) Junk ; (Misc items used to survive) Manitou ; (talk like Native Americans and refer to the C

[plasmamuffin-blog]

The Lord of the Rings review: Part 1

So first off, this review is mainly about the lord of the rings book, although i will be doing some things in different orders. I am partly making fun of the plot, and partly making fun of the way it's written, and additionally, this is not meant to show disrespect for LOTR or it's fans, just as a fun thing, and while i do like LOTR and think it's cool, i do have some things to complain about.

Without further ado, the review:

The Lord of the Rings. One of the most popular and respected works of fantasy fiction in the world. And yet, the most boring book to read since the unabridged Oxford English Dictionary. What makes LOTR so popular, and what makes it so boring despite such critical acclaim? Let's find out.

The story begins with a riveting 40 pages detailing a party that has little to no significance to the actual plot. During this time, we learn that this part of the story takes part in a place called the shire, a peaceful farming land with rolling green hills and inhabited by hobbits(rumor has it that tolkien originally called them "fat midgets" but changed this as it wasn't culturally sensitive enough). Soon(a mere 36 years or so) after the party, the main character, frodo, finds that bilbo's ring, which he had passed on to frodo, was in fact the most dangerous magical artifact since the stainless steel cheese grater. It also happens to be the only thing capable of bringing the antagonist to full power. Yes, this humble ring is in fact the Legendary One Ring, created by the most hated and feared enemy of the people of middle-earth, and whose name inspired the title of the book: The Dark Lord, "Of The".

Wait, no, sorry, his name was actually Sauron. Frodo's generic bearded mentor, gandalf, informs him that the only solution is to destroy The Mcguffin Ring by throwing it into the Fires Of Mount Doom in which it was forged(created). Armed with this knowledge, and his faithful minion friend and gardener, sam(and his cousins, mary merry and pippin) our humble young hobbit sets out on an epic journey to destroy the ring.

100 short pages later, something actually relevant to the plot happens, garnished throughout with important events such as the finding of mushrooms(you had to be there, these mushrooms were really good), the appearance of a disturbingly cheery weirdo freak person named tom bombadil, and a chase scene wherein four midgets hobbits used to a comfortable life of eating twice their weight in junk food and moving no more than is neccessary for using the bathroom somehow manage to outrun several dark, evil, and anciently powerful creatures riding dark, powerful horses with an apparent max speed of 7.5 MPH. This plot-worthy event occurs in the village of bree, where the four hobbits get drunk and, due to their shrewd intellect and four long seconds of consideration, decide to take on a creepy guy with a sword they just met(they just met him, not the sword) named strider as a companion on literally the most important quest in the world.

While our young hobbits are thus occupied, the old wizard gandalf gets captured by an old friend, saruman, who decided to turn to the dark side because he gets a cool plasma ball as a "Welcome to the club" gift. Gandalf escapes, with the aid of a suspiciously convenient pet bird he purchased from the "help, i'm trapped at the top of a 500 story building" store for the price of one moth(which it is suspected that he stole).

After leaving bree, thomas frodo and his friends make it to weathertop(literally, "Large Rock") where they were supposed to meet gandalf. Gandalf is, of course, absent, so strider, using his strategical skills and a dash of common sense, decides to abandon the hobbits while he goes sightseeing. It is, of course, just what the Dark Riders(known as Ringwraiths) from the last paragraph were waiting for, and they charge in and attack the hobbits using the tried-and true battle technique of Standing Around Looking Intimidating Instead Of Actually Attacking the targets who they could easily overpower armed with nothing more than a saucepan while they wait for the protagonist's backup to arrive. And arrive it does, with strider breaking in at the last second to save the group. One of the more astute ringwraiths surmises that it would likely be a good idea to actually attack the target, and so stabs frodo with a dagger so ancient and powerful it crumbles to dust as soon as it is removed from the wound. While frodo struggles to remember first aid and decides to substitute ancient elven language as a family-friendly replacement for swear words, strider bravely fends off these most Ancient and Powerful enemies using the legendary weapon that is the bane of evil creatures everywhere; that's right, the legendary Fire On A Stick.

After seeing that frodo is unlikely to survive the roughly 700km trek to rivendell(literally, "Convenient Elf City"), the group encounters a Convenient Elf named arwen, who takes frodo to the city on horseback. Arwen and the now unconscious(he spends much of the book like this) frodo are chased by the black riders to the front porch of rivendell, a river, which spontaneously floods as soon as the black riders attempt to cross it.

Frodo awakes safe in rivendell, brought back from the very brink of death through powerful elven healing magic and the fact that he's the protagonist. Gandalf greets him and explains the whole unpleasant "being captured" business, which is quickly followed by roughly 200 pages of boring and pointless exposition mixed with 7 page long songs(which, being in book form, have no set tune, causing readers to have to substitute familiar tunes such as "Yankee Doodle") after which the elves, gandalf, strider(who is fined by the elves after it was discovered he used a fake ID and his real name was in fact aragorn), and a crowd of racially diverse people such as dwarves, humans, and the other hobbits meet together to discuss the ring. The decision, voted on by the group, is that a phenomenally dangerous and evil artifact(e.g the ring) should probably be destroyed. This is agreed to, and after heated discussion of how to accomplish this(some suggest the use of acid, fire, clorox, or exposure to justin bieber CDs), it is mentioned that the ring must be destroyed by throwing it into an active volcano. Unfortunately, mount st. helens had not been invented yet, and so the only volcano on the entire continent is Mount Doom. It is henceforth unanimously agreed upon that the only thing capable of bringing the dark lord sauron back to power is to be brought to within three blocks of his house in an attempt to destroy it. The obvious choice for this mission is the most skilled, talented, and strong among them: The very likely overweight and chronically depressed hobbit whose entire experience in this field is that he's pretty sure he knows how to pronounce "Macguffin".

Before leaving, bilbo, who had moved to rivendell, gives frodo his old sword and a piece of rare "Plot Armor", which is impenetrable to all but the most fourth-wall breaking attacks.

And so, the group sets off, consisting of frodo, sam, merry, pippin, gandalf, aragorn, boromir, an elf named legolas, and a dwarf named gimli with anger issues. Shortly after leaving rivendell, the group is forced to cross a snowy mountain, upon which they realize that none of them brought any warm clothes. It is then decided that they will go through the mines of moria, a gigantic mining city that has evaded the regulations of OSHA for centuries.

After being attacked by Cthulhu outside the mines, gandalf, who forgot the password, contacts technical support and gets it reset, allowing them to enter said mines. It is then revealed that the entire population of the mines was wiped out by orcs(literally "Big Ugly Guys") with the I.Q. of warm salad. Being dwarves, the inhabitants of the mines needed plenty of ceiling room, and thus the mines are way bigger than is strictly neccessary or convenient. after wandering around lost for a while, the group encounters a large group of orcs, who, of course, being mighty and feared warriors, are easily dispatched by the group without them even breaking a sweat.

However, the orcs had broughten(broughted? broughtinated?) a cave troll with them, which managed to stab frodo before being defeated. However, frodo, who the rest of the group had presumed to be dead, is revealed to be absolutely fine due to the shirt of plot armor he is wearing. Despite being extremely important and worth more than the shire itself, this shirt is completely forgotten and never brought up again. After the attack, the group finds they are being pursued by a large and powerful creature called a balrog, which chases them into a structurally ludicrous room the size of north dakota that completely lacks guardrails. Upon being asked what a balrog is, gandalf replies that it is a foe beyond any of them in power, and subsequently decides to challenge it to a 1v1. After picking a spot(specifically, a balance beam over a bottomless pit AKA literally the worst place to fight a balrog in the entire mine), gandalf spleefs the balrog into the pit, but is thrown down into it himself after he wisely decides to stand there and watch instead of running to safety. The rest of the group, heartbroken, then decides to journey to lothlorien(literally, "Rivendell MK2") for refuge, where the elves, having a clear understanding of economics, provide food and shelter free of charge to a group of people they just met.

After receiving these gifts(including a rope for sam and a glowstick for frodo), the group sets off downriver in boats procured(read: basically stolen) from the elves and end up in amon hen, where frodo, showing wisdom beyond his 85 years, wisely decides to wander off by himself, upon which the ring corrupts boromir who subsequently attempts to take it from frodo. The rest of the group, also very skilled in the fine art of strategy, wanders off randomly by themselves as well in order to search for frodo, which causes boromir to have to sacrifice himself to save merry and pippin from the conveniently placed orcs, which end up capturing the two anyway. Upon finding boromir, who, thanks to the orc archers, now resembles a large pincushion, aragorn, legolas, and gimli get to watch him die from his wounds, after which they send him downriver in a boat in a makeshift burial at sea.

Meanwhile, frodo(who becomes wiser every page), attempts to sneak off to mordor on his own, but is caught by sam, who is determined to go with him.

This ends part 1 of the review of the lord of the rings.

#Lord of the Rings #Tolkien #funny #review

[zathuraroy5]

LoTR: Prologue

Yes I know it’s a week late but here goes:

Just the first paragraph is exciting.

I love how Tolkien describes the other, bigger races as clumsy, and not believing the hobbits could disappear like that without magic.

Reference to Merry and Pippin XD

.... here it says six meals a day.... where did people get seven.... fandom you have failed me.

So we all assume that Hobbits come from the vale of Anduin because that’s where the book says they were before the shadow fell over Mirkwood, but it also says that like many other folk, the Hobbits were always moving westward. So they might have come from further east even BEFORE the vale of Anduin. And I find that pretty cool. 

*dog-eared the part that talks about the most numerous hobbits being browned skinned, and the part about which clan was closest to Dwarves or Men or Elves.*  SO MANY HEADCANONS

(Bilbo is a mix of Fallowhides and Harfoots (close to Elves and Dwarves) and Smeagol is from the Stoors (close to humans... and their easily corrupted hearts). ALL THESE IDEAS NNGHH)

“They were, in fact, sheltered, but they had ceased to remember it.” 0.0 0.0

The mathom presents XD

Good with projectile weapons, nice.

I love it that not everything is fanon.

Lol, they learned how to build from Men and Elves, but it was improved by dwarves ;)

Pipe weed is tobacco, kids, not drugs. Tolkien just didn’t like the word tobacco XD

Bree hobbits consider Shire hobbits to be colonists XD XD XD 

“they have not heard of the king” they say, when there’s been no king for a hundred years XD

OMFG Tolkien saying that Bilbo had told the story wrong and that Frodo wrote it right in later Copies. So that the first editions in THIS world are ok. I’M C RY ING.

So the mithril shirt ended up in the museum in Michel Delving, BILBO HOW DARE OMFG THAT’S HILARIOUS

OMG reference to the Silmarillion I CAN’T

UGHHH the sons of Elrond were still in Rivendell for a while and it says that CELEBORN WENT THERE AFTER GALADRIEL LEFT i’m in tears I thought they left together WHAT IS THIS. Also the last boat was actually Celeborn and the rest of the high elves later on OMG.

That prologue was gooooooodd shit.

#silmread #lotr: prologue #lotr: fotr #the feels

[nerralert]

Demon’s Souls

(For added effect, please play this song while reading :D)

It’s 2016, and the souls series has seen five major releases in the past seven years (I’m including Bloodborne here as well). Demon’s Souls is the first release of the five, and obviously the latter games hinge pretty heavily on concepts and elements established here in 2009. This particular game is also the most difficult to physically get access to, as it has only been released on PS3 to date. I’ve had a lull in my gaming drive recently, and I think it’s as good a time as ever to retrospectively think back on why this game was such a big deal back in 2009, and why it still stands out.

A quick paragraph on general gameplay - and this will actually apply to all games in the series. Souls is a third person action RPG with a heavy focus on combat, exploration, and atmosphere. The rush of playing these games is the same no matter which you choose (Bloodborne aside), and the physical atmosphere can get to be so dense you can almost wear it on yourself in real life. From Software really nails the atmosphere in Demon’s and DS1, but I will touch on that later. The games have to be played to experience them appropriately, at least to appreciate the intricacies of combat and concentration required; most encounters are almost chess-like in nature. The commitment necessary to succeed is daunting to read about, but the games are so easy at drawing you in I haven’t ever thought twice about recommending these games. There is also a lot of variance and flexibility on how you can design and play your character. All weapons have unique movesets; and there are also spells, pyromancies, and prayers you can spec if you choose to go the mage route. The games are always-online, and allow players to dynamically leave messages to each other, invade other players to kill them and take their souls, or enlist another play in a cooperative fashion if you get stuck in an area or a boss.

Demon’s Souls was the first game in the Souls series that I played, but taking a look back, it is most definitely the odd man out for a few reasons. The structure is flat-out bizarre by modern standards, but in a charming fashion. The player is plopped into the “Nexus,” a hub-world with merchants, a banker, and a place to level up your character. It also has a cool song loop that I told you to play earlier. Within the Nexus you can also access five completely separate stages, of which contain a linear progression of three sub-stages and a boss encounter after each. One is free to try them all in any order - only requirement is that you beat stage 1-1 first. The remaining levels are all difficult in their own unique ways, and all are brooding with tense atmosphere that I’ve come to love. There’s a massive castle; a web of claustrophobic mines leading to the center of a volcano; a medieval undead skeleton shire; and a poisonous swamp where your health is constantly depleting. Stage three, the Tower of Latria, is still revered today as having the most unsettling atmosphere in the entire series, and rivals horror games in terms of enemy design and shocking moments.

I would argue that the boss slate in this particular game is the most impressive from a game design perspective, because every single one differs and requires a different strategy. One boss is completely blind and tracks you based on sound; one is a humongous flying manta-ray that is about the size of the entire level and can only be killed with ranged attacks; there is a boss that refuses to attack you (all while trying to convince you to turn and walk away) and will commit suicide if you kill her guardian protector earlier in the level; a dragon god can only be killed if you stealth through old ruins (he will kill you on sight if he lays eyes on you). My personal favorite, the Old Monk, is a tough melee battle the can be controlled by a player character, and is the only time somebody actually invaded my game in my 2016 re-play of this game. The last boss of the entire game (spoiler) is a beautiful anti-climax; you enter the Old King Allant’s great hollow underneath the Nexus itself, only to discover he is a horribly disfigured looking toad thing that cannot even hurt you. Just stand there and wail on him until he eventually dies.

In Dark Souls your health and magic items all regenerated upon death, and you lost a sliver of your max health until you killed the next boss. Demon’s Souls is much more punishing. If you die, your max health is capped at 50%, and all consumables are expendable. Levels are also long and treacherous, so dying to a boss could mean you have to replay a 20 minute level and potentially grind for more health or magic restoring items. It’s an old-school mechanic that doesn't necessarily equal more fun gameplay, but it certainly heightens the intensity of battles knowing what is at stake.

In 2013, when I first played this game, I got 23 hours in and got approximately 75% of the way through. Today, September ‘16, I beat the game in just over 12 hours and honestly not really getting stuck in any particular area. Magic in this game feels quite overpowered, and would be the first thing I look for in a potential remaster or remake (which should absolutely happen). I remember grinding quite a bit in ‘13, but fortunately that wasnt necessary for me this time around mostly because my magic build made it quite hard for anyone to actually get their hands on me. I had a blast replaying it, and it’s bite-sized length may end up enticing me back for another go around sometime in the near future. It’s probably my second favorite Souls game and has definitely earned it’s spot a permanent spot on my shelf.

#souls

[aion-rsa]

How Lord of the Rings Helm’s Deep Anime Film Could Expand Rohan’s History

https://ift.tt/3v7BaAJ

“The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the Deep one last time!” – King Théoden

While The Lord of the Rings introduced Middle Earth’s geographical middle kingdom, Rohan, during a point of apparent decline, its history of warfare became exposition for The Two Towers’ climactic skirmish in which the Fellowship helped King Théoden hold the famed fortress, Helm’s Deep. Yet, the battle—iconic its own right amongst a film trilogy filled with iconic battles—notably bore a connection in J.R.R. Tolkien’s intricate lore to ancient king Helm Hammerhand, for whom the fortress was named. Now, said connection will become the focus of an anime movie. Yes, you read that right, folks. While we await Amazon’s exorbitant live-action TV series, a Lord of the Rings anime movie is also in the works!

The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim is the title that this most intriguing of projects will brandish. The feature, a studio collaboration between New Line Cinema and Warner Bros. Animation, will see veteran anime director Kenji Kamiyama (Ghost in the Shell SAC_2045, Cyborg 009: Call of Justice) tackle the Toliken-crafted story of Helm Hammerhand himself. The King of Rohan, who lived during Middle Earth’s Third Age from the year 2,691 to 2,759, was portrayed as a mythical figure whose wartime deeds still inspired the kingdom even centuries later, the year 3,019, when the Battle of Helm’s Deep took place. The project’s official description teases a standalone “companion piece” to director Peter Jackson’s famed film trilogy that, “explores and expands the untold story behind the fortress of Helm’s Deep, delving into the life and bloodsoaked times of one of Middle earth’s most legendary figures.”

New Line Cinema

Indeed, “bloodsoaked” is an accurate description, given the history attached to Helm Hammerhand, who ascended to Rohan’s throne in the midst of a long period of warfare with the neighboring Wildmen of Dunland centered on, among other things, perpetual grievances over disputed lands. However, a legend was cemented when an attempt by a wealthy, untrustworthy landowner named Freca to strong-arm an expediently border-codifying arranged marriage between his son and Hammerhand’s daughter was met by the king with a swift punch to Freca’s face. The punch was so hard that it eventually proved fatal, thereby establishing that the king’s cool surname isn’t just a reference to the warhammer he typically carried into battle, but the pair of hands that held the weapon.

Therefore, we can expect War of the Rohirrim to explore this most crucial and trying of periods in Rohan’s history, since Hammerhand’s famous fist ended up thrusting Rohan into a costly war when Freca’s vengeance-seeking son, Wulf, gathered a legion of Dunlendings to storm the fortress that would come to be known as Helm’s Deep, also known as the Hornburg. Compounding that, the protracted battle also happened to take place during a period of cold and starvation in Middle Earth known as the Long Winter, which even affected the Shire far in the west. While the effort to hold the fortress—akin to a wintry version of the Alamo—would prove tragic for the king, its legend became a source of motivation for posterity, especially regarding the giant war-horn that Hammerhand kept atop the fortress, which, when blown, would signal to the Rohirrim to open the gates and storm the sieging enemies with a ferocity that drove fear across the land. In fact, the fear of Hammerhand’s exploits had evolved to a point in which it was believed that he killed his enemies with his bare hands and ate their flesh during the periods in which the fortress’s larder was empty.  

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Of course, the connections that War of the Rohirrim will carry to The Lord of the Rings films should already be apparent, given the above information. After all, The Two Towers saw Saruman stoke the historical enmity of the Wild Men of Dunland, coaxing them to raid and burn the villages in Rohan’s Westfold. Plus, besides the fact that a statue of Helm Hammerhand is prominently shown in the film’s still-impressive longshots of Helm’s Deep, the king’s aforementioned horn was used to its historic effect by Gimli just before King Théoden—at the verge of defeat—was coaxed back into the battle by Aragorn to break open the gate and ride through the sieging forces of Uruk-hai, leading to the eventual victory. Thus, Théoden’s famous quote about the horn of Helm Hammerhand—which likely went over the heads of most moviegoers—will be given poignant context here.

Consequently, while details about the actual plot are still unknown, we do have a general idea of the story War of the Rohirrim seeks to adapt. While it may be a lofty task, it’s one for which Carolyn Blackwood, Chief Operating Officer, Warner Bros. Pictures Group, and Richard Brener, President and Chief Creative Officer, New Line Cinema express excitement. “All of us at New Line feel a deep affinity for the extraordinary world J.R.R. Tolkien created, so the opportunity to dive back into Middle-Earth with the team at Warner Bros. Animation is a dream come true,” lauds the duo in a joint statement. “Fans know Helm’s Deep as the stage for one of the greatest battles ever put to film and, with many of the same creative visionaries involved and the brilliant Kenji Kamiyama at the helm, we couldn’t be more excited to deliver a fresh vision of its history that will invite global audiences to experience the rich, complex saga of Middle-Earth in a thrilling new way.” 

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The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim will see director Kamiyama work off a screenplay by Jeffrey Addiss and Will Matthews (The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance), and joined by producer Joseph Chou. Auspiciously enough, he’ll have the help of a key member of the film trilogy’s creative triumvirate, Oscar-winning writer Philippa Boyens, who will serve here as a consultant. While there’s no release date available as of yet, the project is being fast-tracked, with animation work set at Sola  Entertainment, and voice casting currently underway.

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