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anartofblooming · 3 years

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The Perils of Digital Escapism and the Power of a Digital Detox

Disclaimer: this is my own personal experience with digital escapism and I hope that sharing this experience might serve others who’ve gone through something similar, especially at a time where most of us are locked down because of COVID-19. I’m not claiming one size fits all.

It’s been about six months since I’d relapsed into a deepened state of depression. After a series of challenging events, I was incredibly overwhelmed. At the time, I didn’t have it in me to go through the pain of processing my emotions and, as a result, I withdrew into the numbing world of my phone. I felt safe there, mindlessly playing games for hours on end, but it was a false sense of safety. The more I withdrew into my device, the harder it became for me to function and enjoy the things I once used to.

Tasks like brushing my teeth, showering, and keeping my space clean became progressively daunting, let alone handling the greater responsibilities of adulthood. Overeating food without actually tasting it magnified the numbing effect, so I gained 16 kilos over a span of four months. I felt so uncomfortable in my own body, my need to withdraw grew stronger. I barely engaged with my partner, friends and family. I essentially became a sad potato that would migrate from my bed to the couch every single day for those months.

This was deadening me inside. I wanted to withdraw more privately, to ease the guilt I felt when I was seen in my vegetative state. So, I slept throughout most of the day and spent most of my nights wide awake. The lack of sunlight, in turn, made my depression worse. I was quickly heading down through the vortex of a downward spiral and I knew that, if I kept going through this vortex, my suffering would ultimately become much worse.

The Perils of Digital Escapism

1. It prolongs recovery unnecessarily

The longer I escaped, the harder it was for me to bounce back and practice healthier habits. It IS doable, but I had to jump through more hoops and my path to recovery was unnecessarily extended.

2. It can take a toll on the body

The mindless activity of escaping into a device lead me to mindlessly eat too. Mindless eating leads to weight gain. The more I escaped into my devices, the more I became sedentary. I became more prone to painful infections, developed severe GI issues and sleep apnea, became a pre-diabetic and, to my disbelief, began experiencing internal bleeding that made me anemic. I felt trapped inside my own body. Every movement became uncomfortable and strenuous.

3. It exacerbates mental illness

The state of my mental health became worse. The minor benefit I got from retreating into the world in my device was akin to placing a bandaid on an amputation. It doesn’t work. In the same way that poorly dealing with an amputation can result in bleeding to death, dealing poorly with a mental illness can have horrible results.

4. Self esteem takes a hit

Failing to take care of myself made me feel guilty and ashamed. Then, not processing those feelings only made them fester. I’d think, “wow, I’m so useless, worthless, pathetic, etc. etc. etc.” To no surprise, this negative self talk made my depression worse.

5. Relationships suffer

I was barely engaging with my partner, friends and family. I can say, with confidence, that this was the worst side effect of digital escapism for me. I felt lonely, isolated and disconnected from the world.

6. Purpose and meaning are stripped

The days blended into one another and I lost my sense of meaning and purpose. I had no reason to wake up in the morning, but went through the motions anyway. This created a nihilistic undertone that cast a shadow on my life, stoking a small flame of anxiety into a raging fire.

7. Sleep loses its quality

My sleep became irregular, further exacerbating my physical, mental, and emotional suffering. On the outside, I was motionless but, on the inside, I was restless. This made my anxiety worse.

It was time to make a change.

I unsubscribed from all my streaming services, deleted the games on my phone and placed restrictions on my social media apps using an app blocker. I let my partner set the password so I couldn’t go back and surrender to the temptation of my devices when I felt anxious. I entered the process of a digital detox and the positive change this created for me was monumental.

The Power of a Digital Detox

1. The discomfort of zero distractions motivates productivity

Because I couldn’t escape or distract myself anymore, I had to fill my days with other activities; specifically, those activities I avoided in my digital escape. I used the two minute rule for anything I found daunting. Washing dishes? I put a two minute timer on and gave myself permission to stop when it went off. Responding to an email? Two minutes to start my draft. Brushing my hair? Two minutes. What ended happening is this: once I started I, more often than not, finished the task working past the two minute mark. It was much easier than I had perceived it to be before starting. If I was having a really bad day, I still accomplished my two minutes and that felt good, even if I only did a single two minute task that day.

2. Couch potatoes become sweet potatoes

I began to move more. It’s boring to sit on a couch all day without the distraction of a phone or the television. I began making to do lists for myself and moved around inside the house. I even began to go for short walks outside, something which was previously very daunting for me. All the weight I’d gained began to drop and with it my health issues began to diminish as well.

3. Mental health improves

I began to take more interest in things again, like learning, drawing, and writing. I was listening to audiobooks while cleaning and taught myself new skills, like how to start a solid fire in a Norwegian Winter.

4. Self esteem improves

Becoming productive as a result of my digital detox made me feel good about myself. I was accomplishing things and this made me feel useful, worthy, competent, etc. etc. etc. I was motivated to treat myself well as a result. The more I treated myself with respect, self compassion and self care, the more confident I felt.

5. Relationships improve

began to engage more with my loved ones. This made me feel more connected to the world. I started laughing more often, relating to others and forming new memories. The feeling of connection was the most powerful benefit of my digital detox.

6. There’s more focus on self care I began to connect with my body in a nurturing way. I’d dance with my partner as we cooked in the kitchen, I’d apply body lotion to enjoy its feeling and scent, and I began to take pleasure in brushing my hair until it felt silky. I sought to feel good in ways that were healthy for me.

7. Purpose and meaning is discovered once more

I became more intentional with how I spent each day, and this was reviving. I then took a step further by setting my intentions for the next day by writing them down the night before. Over time, I started to feel more excited about my life and what I could do with it.

8. Sleep improves

My sleep became more regular, giving me a bit more energy to take on the process of recovery. I started feeling more rested and relaxed. My energy began to replenish itself.

I Didn’t Forgo Technology Altogether

Rather, I am using it more purposefully now. I use my phone to catch up with friends and family, as well as make shopping lists for my trips to the grocery store. On my laptop, I’m working on writing my book, research, and creating this blog, and the television is solely reserved for movie time with my partner and step son. I do still use social media, but I’ve tailored my app blockers to only give me access for an hour a day, starting at 6:30pm after dinner and ending at 7:30pm. Disconnecting from distracting apps is allowing me to reconnect with the world and this is the radical self care I needed to become proactive in my healing journey.

#love #self love #mental health #instagood #follow #life #coronavirus #quarantine #new #followme #explorepage #healingjourney #lifestyle #explore #repost #winter #2021vision #2021goals #2021challenge

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creativemindedclothing · 3 years

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🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️ 🙋🏾‍♂️🙋🏾‍♂️🙋🏾‍♂️ I Just Have Questions...AGAIN Question Everything. #decide #commit #act #succeed #positivity #possibilities #create #energy #2021vision #choices #chances #freethinkers #freespeech #standby #KnowYou #BeYou #DoYou (at Worldwide) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTdGRe0J7Ux/?utm_medium=tumblr

#decide #commit #act #succeed #positivity #possibilities #create #energy #2021vision #choices #chances #freethinkers #freespeech #standby #knowyou #beyou #doyou

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infomuneeb · 3 years

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Every bad situation wil have something positive..... 👉 . . . #positivevibs #thoughtoftheday #doeverything #goodheart ♥️ #expect #nothing #thoughts #correct #time #twice #lessons #learn & #moveon #insta #followforfollowback #mnmuneebahmed #2021vision @mnmuneebahmed #better #life 😍😉🙌 (at Warakapola, Sri Lanka) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSHsqfshghQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

#positivevibs #thoughtoftheday #doeverything #goodheart #expect #nothing #thoughts #correct #time #twice #lessons #learn #moveon #insta #followforfollowback #mnmuneebahmed #2021vision #better #life

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goodvibes-co-sa · 3 years

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منشن روح جميله 🐘🤍🌬 Mention a beautiful soul ‎#2021ready ##love #lovequotes #2021 #2021goals #2021vision #qoutes #qoutesoftheday #thegoodlife #thegoodquote #loveyourself #inspiration #goals #qoutesoftheday #affirmation #positivevibes #goodvibes #positivity #positivequotes #love #loveconfessions https://www.instagram.com/p/CLuuzQ5Bh3R/?igshid=1fe9s43j8y9pn

#2021ready #love #lovequotes #2021 #2021goals #2021vision #qoutes #qoutesoftheday #thegoodlife #thegoodquote #loveyourself #inspiration #goals #affirmation #positivevibes #goodvibes #positivity #positivequotes #loveconfessions

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kinglaroc · 3 years

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Happy New Year ...

#love #art #black artist #blackmen #new year #2021 #2021vision #kinglaroc #larocsound #laroc #blackboyjoy #fineboys #musician #musicians #producer #nyc #5d #ascension #transcendence #lightbody

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installmentsweird · 3 years

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Installments of a 25yo #12

2020 It’s over!!! But Idk, maybe I just don’t trust 2021, but I’m not going to say anything about it.

[ID: 3 worlds with the years 2020, 2021, and 2022 under it, with the 2021 world moved forward with the question Begin? under it. END ID. OP:chibird]

But I am going to reflect on the year and set some intentions for 2021 because positivity and goals!

So what have I learned in 2020:

I mean I have learned about all the types of disinfectant and hand sanitizer, so that was fun and useful knowledge. Also learned my mask preference, surgical or a thinner fabric one, do not like ones that are super thick, especially for 8 hour shifts.

But on a more serious note, this year has been intense and here is what I got out of it:

Be kind to yourself and smell the roses. Like I was so disappointed about not finding jobs and only working retail, so I was really hard on myself. But like I needed to enjoy the ride and let go. It is ok to not have everything figured out at 25, and even though I know this will be hard for me I want to try to remember this and continue to just smell the flowers because along the way I hung out with my sisters, mom, and dad; got to catch up with an old friend; my friend graduated nursing school, congrats girl! I also made some friends at work that I had good times with. There were bright spots in the year that I would’ve missed.

Try not to compare yourself to others. I was doing this a lot in the beginning of this year because I saw my friends in medical school, getting houses, being successful in just general, that I started to just feel stuck and like I was not doing anything. This also bled into my writing where I would read other people’s stories and get so discouraged because I would think my writing is so bad and that I was awful for not posting more often, which obviously did not improve the situation. Honestly, I’m starting to learn that everyone is on their own journey and that I would do the things I want to in my own time, but like sometimes it is still hard, but we trying.

It’s OK to not be 100%. Like you ever feel like crap emotionally, but still have a great day? That’s what I am talking about. Old me would’ve never understood the concept, but as 2020 went on and the depression and anxiety just kept increasing, I kinda just learned to appreciate the small bright spots in my day. Like have to hide in some blankets and turn off all the lights to just drown out the world, but the music I was listening to was amazing and incredible. I also learned or more so beginning to learn that I am still loveable and worth something, even though I am in a funk. I could still talk with friends or have fun. Basically not being 100% all the time is perfectly fine, go out and get help and give yourself some extra love on those days. (Right now, I’m still not 100% and as I write this I do not know if I’ll see 100% anytime soon for personal reasons, but I’m still ok and trying to put this lesson into action I guess.)

Something is better than nothing. I feel like we all had this feeling during school, when an assignment would slip through the cracks but we still needed to turn in something to get at least a grade. Or when you were late with an assignment. But I feel like we forget that and that in order for us to publish anything or do anything it has to be absolutely perfect or there is no point in doing it. I would apply this to my writing and then I would never post or write because it would become a chore and not fun. It is ok if it is not perfect, just do it! You will learn and improve and become better, but nothing can be done if you do not have a square one. I mean all the greats have had their cringe videos, auditions etc, so why can’t we? This is a message to myself, I need this.

You got this! One thing I learned in 2020 is that shit does happen and yeah it is very overwhelming, but at the end of the day I got thru it. Barely, but here I am. So I guess that is the lesson, you got this! You will figure it out, find your answer, get thru the difficult times. So whatever 2021 brings, you can get thru it.

Intentions for the New Year:

Enjoy the ride. I do not know where this year leads but I know that I want to write more and really explore it, even if it turns out less than favorable. I want to have fun with my friends and family. I do want to get a better job, but appreciate where I am now. I want to create my own happiness and take care of myself.

And that is all I want for the new year and anything else positive, I’m open to it.

This is what I got out of 2020, but you may have gotten absolutely nothing out of it and that is ok. Personally, yes you should try to find the silver lining, but sometimes there isn’t any, sometimes you just have to heal and that is ok. Or maybe your year, despite the craziness, was a good one and honestly celebrate that! Don’t feel pressured to say it was bad, when for you it may not have been the worst.

So however your 2020 went, I wish you the best in 2021 and that even though the majority of us are rolling with disadvantage, that there is a nat 20 in your future! Wishing you guys the best in 2021 and that you begin healing. Now, let’s roll initiative!

For more of my thoughts or just more crazy stories of being 25, follow @installmentsweird

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growwlinds · 3 years

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bestie is back 🖤 ⁣ sale on my site thru the 25th🎄CODE: XMAS20⁣ workout guides & bands 20% off⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ #bandworkouts#girlswholift#womensfitness#aeriereal#20percentoff#salesalesale#growwlinds#gymmotivation#girlsnightout#gympartner#happytuesday#almost2021#2021vision#gainsovercomfort#bootygains🍑#gainsinprogress#thiccmas#xmas2020#bootybands#youngentrepreneurs#fashionnova#motivational#fitnessmodel#fitnessjourney2020#discoverunder5k#gymlife#endoftheyear#gainsongains https://www.instagram.com/p/CJHdEowDM8Q/?igshid=4rqyn4bbb4kz

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abigrafen · 2 years

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Auf den Punkt bringen können Schüler richtig gut. Lehrer da eher nicht so. 😤 Oder ist es eher umgekehrt? 🧐 Was sagt ihr dazu? Auf jedenfall bringt diese Abimotto alles auf den Punkt! 😉 ➡️ https://www.abigrafen.de/abi-motto/abi-motto-designs-layouts-ideen/ #motto #mottowoche #mottoparty #mottos #abitur #2021vision #abi #abi_2021 #schule #sch #abschluss #gymnasium #ak #lernen #ler #erfolg #motivation #produkte #druckerei #printingcompany #graphics #designer #abi2021 #follow https://www.instagram.com/p/CW3PQMrouEY/?utm_medium=tumblr

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tetisherai · 2 years

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Unrequited Love lingers in the vastness… Yes this is true. However the ONLY love that matters is the love of SELF!!! Remember that and there is no love that will ever be unrequited! #2021vision #2021 #love #loveyourself #loveislove #lovequotes #haiku #reflection #refreshing #self #poetry #poetinthemaking #quarantine #quarantinelife #teti #wcw #wce #poetsofinstagram #change #soulsearching #light #blackgirlmagic #lovehaiku #lovepoet #lovepoetry https://www.instagram.com/p/CWYXRF3Ldhe/?utm_medium=tumblr

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anartofblooming · 3 years

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Depression and the Shower

Disclaimer: This is what’s worked for me and I’m by no means claiming one size fits all in this post. I also realize that not everyone is in a relationship or married, so I’ve also added some tips for getting back into this habit of self care independently at the bottom of this post. I hope it serves you well!

When you’re depressed enough, it’s difficult to take care of yourself. At times, my struggles with mental illness have made it challenging for me to even do the basics. I dreaded leaving the house, answering my emails felt intimidating, and keeping up with basic hygiene was daunting. I have moments where my mind and body feel so heavy, it makes stepping into the shower a taxing and overwhelming process. A few days pass and as my hair experiences its buildup, so does my guilt. Unhelpful thoughts float into my headspace.

“My partner must think I’m gross.”

“I’m setting a bad example for my step son.”

“If people outside see me, they’ll think I’m dirty.”

“I must be the most disgusting person in the world.”

These thoughts do nothing to help me, and if you’re experiencing similar thoughts, they’re probably doing nothing to help you either. When I put things in perspective, I know these thoughts don’t reflect the truth. My partner knows I’m depressed and, even when I’m a mess, he reminds me how beautiful he finds me. I’m doing my best to help teach my step son to become more self reliant and I can see his self esteem growing. The last person who saw me outside offered to help me with my garage door when he saw that I struggled to fortify it as our town prepared for a storm. Frankly, I don't know who the most disgusting person in the world is, but I hope that person is compassionate with themselves. We all deserve a break when we’re not feeling like our best selves. Most of us would extend that kindness to others but refuse to extend it to ourselves and the latter is something that needs to change.

My partner and I decided that we would take our showers together a few times per week, and this decision is helping me break past my mental and emotional barriers.

Why Showering Together can be Healing

1. The Overwhelm Diffuses

Walking into the shower together felt less daunting. When I felt heavy, I could just close my eyes and lean into my partner under the stream of water. This made showering less of a chore for me.

2. The Feeling of Being Nurtured

Being cared for put me at greater ease and made me feel loved. My partner took his time shampooing my hair, massaging a pleasant scrub into my skin, and gently rinsing me with the shower head.

3. The Feeling of Nurturing

In turn, I wanted to shampoo his hair, massage his skin with the nice body scrub, and gently rinse him. In nurturing him, I am loving him, and as wonderful as it feels to be loved, it is also so wonderful to give and love in return. It’s a feeling that fills my heart.

4. The Cuddles

In the small space of our shower, there’s a lot of room for cuddling. Without saying a word, we’re bonding. Popular science discusses oxytocin, a hormone our body releases through physical touch like cuddling. Oxytocin facilitates relaxation and calmness in the brain; it also makes you feel more bonded than you previously were. Cuddles actually have antidepressant effects.

5. Body Image

When I’m at one of my lowest points, my first instinct is to try to hide myself. There’s a subtle voice in my head that tells me that my body isn’t good enough for reasons x, y and z. Standing there naked, being embraced and nurtured by my partner, throws that voice out the window. I realize that the eyes gazing back into mine aren’t judgmental, they’re loving. I then realize: I ought to look at myself the same way he looks at me when I’m facing a mirror.

6. Independent Self Care Becomes Easier

I treasure the showers my partner and I take together and I also treasure my independence. Creating this routine with him has been chipping away at my mental barrier with self care. I became more motivated to shower myself on a regular basis. I take my time to shampoo my hair, massage a nice scrub into my skin, and gently rinse the soaps off.

If You Choose to Approach this Independently

1. Try the two minute rule. Run the water over yourself for two minutes and stand there. If you want to get out of the shower, then get out, and if you feel like you want to stay, then stay. The first two minutes are a huge step in your healing process.

2. In the moments you want to stay in the shower, try spending a tiny bit of time nurturing yourself. Massage pleasant soaps into your skin and hair, find a water temperature you enjoy, or have some music you like playing from the counter.

3. When you step out of the shower, write, “I love you,” over the steamed up mirror with your finger and take a second to internalize that message. It might be a bit cheesy, but affirmations like this do help a lot of people.

Slowly but surely, you’ll start taking better care of yourself and hopefully you can turn showering into a ritual you love. I’m working on improving my own ritual as we speak. I’m thinking of decorating my bathroom with candles and string lights, creating a shower playlist, and making my own soaps with essential oils that I enjoy. Mental illness can make it hard to take care of yourself but there’s always hope, and some of it can be found in single water droplets.

If you’d like to see more posts like this, please drop a like.

If you think more people can benefit from this post, please pass it along.

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creativemindedclothing · 3 years

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HAPPY FRIDAY SUCKAS! 😌😎👏🏾🍷💯💓🥃👑😌 #choose #settle #choosevssettle #decide #commit #act #succeed #positivity #possibilities #create #energy #intent #authenticity #integrity #2021vision #live #life #love #thoughts #things #manifest #lawsofattraction #livelifeorjustexist #livefullout #KnowYou #BeYou #DoYou (at Worldwide) https://www.instagram.com/p/CO26unApMbk/?igshid=kmknkiateekp

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infomuneeb · 3 years

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Do everything with a good heart...♥️🤝 . . . #thoughtoftheday #doeverything #goodheart #expect #nothing #return #thoughts #live #lifegoals #lessons #learn & #moveon #insta #followforfollowback #mnmuneebahmed #2021vision @mnmuneebahmed #betterlife 😍😉🙌 (at Warakapola, Sri Lanka) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ6l_8HlqZg/?utm_medium=tumblr

#thoughtoftheday #doeverything #goodheart #expect #nothing #return #thoughts #live #lifegoals #lessons #learn #moveon #insta #followforfollowback #mnmuneebahmed #2021vision #betterlife

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goodvibes-co-sa · 3 years

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منشن روح جميله 🐘🤍🌬 Mention a beautiful soul ‎#2021ready ##love #lovequotes #2021 #2021goals #2021vision #qoutes #qoutesoftheday #thegoodlife #thegoodquote #loveyourself #inspiration #goals #qoutesoftheday #affirmation #positivevibes #goodvibes #positivity #positivequotes #love #remainder #notetoself #selflove #ichooseme https://www.instagram.com/p/CMrwRJ3Bis4/?igshid=1utxv0u9qt7xf

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cvgfab · 3 years

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💢New Published Work💢 Not a bad way to start off a new month! Another editorial spread I got to style featuring some real Toronto talent...So proud of this team and what we created! Thank you to @modelmentorcanada and @actorsartists for bringing me on board...this was a fun one! 🥰🙏🏽🥰 Magazine: Style Cruze Vol. #105 (@stylecruze , Los Angeles) PHOTOGRAPHY – SCOTT COOPER @azimutharts PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANT – SINA AZINFAR (no Instagram) RETOUCHER – CHELSEY BOLL @chelseyboll PRODUCER – LORNA CUMMING @modelmentorcanada CREATIVE DIRECTION - LANCE ENG @actorsartists MAKEUP – EDEN LAWRENCE @paradiseinthegardenofeden HAIR - TYRA SLATER @hairtego WARDROBE STYLIST –Me😎 MODELS – ANNALIA FRASER @annaliafraser KALYHIA BRASHIER @Kalyhiabrashier 🧥BLAZERS provided by @stavasmenswear www.chaendravgittens.com ---‐---‐----------------‐-------------------------- #motivationalmonday #fashioneditorial #stylistlife #publication #photoshoot #Styledbychaendrag #fashionstylist #torontostylist #topmodel #the6ix #femalemodels #torontotalent #editorialfashion #photography #stylingwork #styledbyme #lovemyjob #2021vision #womensfashion #suiting #fashionmodels #fashionindustry #fashionmagazine #blessed #internationalmagazine #publication #newwork (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNSp2X5lTOp/?igshid=1d5wazdl9c3t6

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lionel3350 · 3 years

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Happy Black History Month #2021vision El hajj Malik El Shabazz & Barack Hussein Obama II https://www.instagram.com/p/CLlQ2IUHCjf/?igshid=1bzh87kyetry6

#2021vision

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inhaletheword · 3 years

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What do you think of the proposed album cover? @see_m_records @cmills2066 (IG) @TheCoreyMills (Twitter) #Music #HipHop #2021vision #3rdalbum #CoreyMills #CM #CCM #CHH #realmusic #Independent #Alwaysup https://www.instagram.com/p/CLKHNYZlYhD/?igshid=nie8kmy22a1h

#music #hiphop #2021vision #3rdalbum #coreymills #cm #ccm #chh #realmusic #independent #alwaysup

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