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One Shot, pt.4

Once safe inside my house, I shut my eyes and lean back into the door. Peter Parker is back after all these years, I thought I was ready for it. Ready to see him. I convinced myself that I could act like nothing happened between us. One look from him and that theory blew up in my face.

He's still sexy as hell. Tall with a trim build, and I know the peaks and valleys of his muscles underneath his tight t shirt. He looks more defined now than three years ago. He's still a complete sexy package that is solely Peter Parker. Peter fucking Parker is back, and I'm a mess.

"It was him, wasn't it?" Abby asks. I slowly open my eyes and nod yes. I never told anyone what happened that night between Peter and me. I vaguely mentioned a guy, but that he wasn't worth mentioning since he snuck out on me when I was asleep.

I sit down next to her and say "I'm sorry I never told you who it was. " "You don't have to apologize to me. It was your secret to share. I know what happened. You know that if you ever need to talk, I'm here, ready to listen." You nod. "I just didn't want to admit that it was him. I crushed on him for years and that night he made me feel special, like he felt it all along, too. I was humiliated to know that it didn't mean anything to him."

"You have nothing to be humiliated about. " "Easier said than done. I gave my virginity to my crush he sneaks out of bed like a thief in the night. I texted him, asking him what I did wrong, he never replied. I blamed myself. I had no experience, and a whole list of reasons and emotions I'd rather not talk about. "

"You probably don't want to hear this, but he doesn't look at you like a man who was disappointed. " Abby nudged you with her elbow, trying to lighten the mood. "It was just easier to keep it to myself. " Abby nods and says "completely understandable. "

"I was willing to risk it, ya know? To be with him. I thought he felt the same way. I was wrong. It hurt, and now I'm over it. As much as I can be. I can't pretend to be his friend or whatever the hell he's trying to do. At least, not yet. "

"Maybe one day, when you're ready, " Abby says gently. She knows how big your crush was on Peter. The Crush is still there, but the anger overshadows everything. You still feel the hurt of waking up alone, reaching for him, only to find him and his clothes gone. You called him and texted him with no response. You found out later that he went back to college. You didn't believe him then or now. You begged him to come back so you could talk. He left your messages unanswered. And that was answer enough for you. You were a Fling. Your first time was supposed to be special, forever tainted by being tossed aside. Nope, instead he disappeared.

"Maybe, " I don't know if I can ever be friends with him. I would like to think that I could forgive and forget, but your heart isn't on board with that idea. "I'm calling it a night. Thank you for listening and I know that you won't say anything."

"Never. Get some rest. " I hug her tightly, grateful for her being in your life. You might have kept his identity a secret, not because you didn't trust her. You just wanted to keep him for yourself. You had a small part of him, even though he used you. You wanted that small piece.

In your room, you shut the door and fell face first onto your bed. You want to forget this day ever happened. Forget what he looks like. Older, more defined. Forget what he smells like. Musky and uniquely Peter. You want your heart to forget that it craves him.

Your phone dings in your pocket with a text. You dig your phone out of your back pocket and swipe the screen. Your breathe catches in your throat at the sight of his name. You are a glutton for punishment, so you open it

PETER: Goodnight, Y/N

That's it. Two little words that are three years too late. Why is it so damn easy for him to message you now? Your heart beats a little faster knowing that he's thinking about you. You're supposed to be getting over him.

You want to text him back and ask him these questions, but you talk yourself out of it. He doesn't deserve a reply. You should have deleted his number years ago, but for some reason, you couldn't bring yourself to do it. Tossing your phone on the bedside table and then grabbing some clothes, you head to the shower to wash away the day.

You wake up to the sound of an incoming text that pulls you from your sleep. Looking at the clock, you sse it's a little after 8 am. You reach for your phone and swipe the screen. You blink twice to make sure that you're not imagining things. It's another text from Peter.

PETER: Good morning, beautiful.

What. The. Fuck. You wish you knew what his Endgame was. Too much time has passed. You hate to admit that you lay awake for longer than necessary Breaking up his actions piece by piece. His words, "there is nothing in life I regret more than leaving you that night, " a constant loop in your mind. None of it makes any sense to you. He's wasting his time. There will never be any thing between you. Not anymore.

Went to the Oregon Coast yesterday to recharge myself. It's all so good. Blessings to all of you. Together we can do amazing things. 💖🎶⚡🌀🎉🌻🎹 #ashlanduniversity #ashlandoregon #ashland #blacklivesmatter #bipolar #changeyourlife #covidsupport #covid_19 #depressionhelp #depressionawareness #exploremore #fearless #faith #followforfollowback #goodvibes #godisgood #grantspassoregon #happy #healersofinstagram #mentalhealth #medfordoregon #spirituality #silentunity #roguevalleytoyou #roguevalleyoregon #roguevalley #oregoncoast #ocean #southernoregonlife (at Medford, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNqOrTjHCXU/?igshid=1w6xgkro4ge1d

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