#... Theres a point where i do not care what else they have done or do? At least ive not encountered anything that have changed it for me

[digifag]

sacha…

#the wolfs howl #thoughts in my brain #b4 i start btw this is not a rant in defense of scott at all i do not like him still #but some ppl really blow his politics out of the water compared to what he’s done like #yea we’re gonna ignore the 50k he donated to trevor project in favor of focusing on the varied 30k to various political candidates #its ALWAYS the homophobia. always always always #its never the fact hes outright stated hes pro life; never the potential racism of who he donated to; never anything like that. always - #- the homophobia. which is still bad yes! but u could argue much worse things like w some of the artists hes hired n paid!!! #fiszi was so much worse than scott ever was. and she was gross w it w grooming n transphobia (she was also! FIRED later on!!!!) #like the ONLY reason ppl care is cuz someone pointed it out in 2020. there have literally been no more public donations since #can u imagine the indie game scene if ppl searched out where every dev and employee donated to?? cuz i guarantee not all of them are great!! #my biggest gripe is ppl comparing scott to jk. #riddle me this. is the outwardly proud transphobe whos also very racist and incorporates that into her writing and uses her platform to put- #-minorities down the same as a guy who donated money to a political party in 2020. and doesnt use his platform for that shit. whos openly- #-supportive of his fanbase and acknowledges he wouldnt b where he is without his lgbt fans as well #and again. glances at the 50k to the trevor project he donated #why the hell would he put all that money to a charity for lgbt ppl if he was wholly homophobic. itd be like if jk started giving donations- #-to trans organizations to fund binders and hrt like??? #AND AGAIN. PPL FOCUS ON THE HOMOPHOBIA ABOVE ALL ELSE #he didnt donate to xyz BECAUSE they were homophobic. not every political figure is gonna be focused on gay rights theres sm more going on w- #-this country rn like #THINK for a second #also the fact that ppl were surprised the christian cishet white man from texas was republican is still kinda goofy to me like no duh hes- #-gonna be a republican ?? #idk!! hes still a shit person obv but the way ppl are like ‘yeah hes a homophobic bigot’ is kinda lying at that point #anyway<3 posting this is probably dangerous but idc. have more critical thinking than hes homophobic because he donated to some ppl u dont- #agree with #politics goes so much farther than just gay rights man #anyway #rant

[piplupod]

today is absolute garbage but i am going to try to do some painting on my project nonetheless, doing my best to attempt to claw my way out of the suicidality goop

#funny how ppl are like ''stay alive for xyz things!'' and that doesnt work for me #like sorry but that is not making up for all the dogshit I've got going on dbdjdl it doesnt come anywhere close to balancing out the scales #if i am staying alive it is entirely my choice made out of stubbornness and occasionally spite #only reason i havent offed myself yet is bc i dont want to hurt people (even that doesnt convince me sometimes) and- #-i can always do it tomorrow. like why not just stick around until things get truly too fucked up to keep going #I'll make art while im around and hopefully leave behind some kind of positive mark on the world fjfkdl #also fucking... jack stauber's ''dinner is not over'' #like yeah dinner isnt over yet. and it wont be until i cant stand another bite. and then i can have dessert. gotta wait til dinner is done! #like do i see there being any way for me to exist in the world? no djdksl not at all #i cant work and disability is not livable and theres no disability housing available rn so fbfjdl its not realistic #but im going to stick around until i get to the point where it isnt feasible to be around anymore dhfksl #and if the situation changes for the better then great I'll keep trucking along #but i genuinely dont think im making it to like... 30. 25 is iffy. 23 is fuzzy. its just not realistic with how society is set up currently #but! doesnt matter! just working with what i have in the present and I'll just keep trucking until i cant anymore dbfjdl #suicide tw #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #sorry this is wildly mentally ill but i am just kind of ... hoping maybe it'll help someone else #all i see for suicide prevention is ''you have so much to live for!'' and that doesnt rly help ppl in my situation #i KNOW I've got a lot to live for but it's simply not realistic nor does it make up for the fact that life is utter dogshit dhdjdl #so i just try to approach it from an angle of almost like... not caring #like I'll keep doing what i can until things get too hard and then I'll take my leave 🤷 sticking around until then!

[urostakako]

.

#i really cant do this anymore i dont know what to do #i just want someone to listen to me i want someone to understand but i cant make anyone listen to me or understand #im a selfish person but everything ive done is for them. i did everything to go against my nature i did everything to not want anything #i dont care about anyone or anything i dont even care about myself. everything for them. and its not enough #ive been good i think. i havent been selfish. all i wanted was for them to be happy and have a good life and maybe if im lucky mine #will get cut short so i dont have to drag myself through all of this but its not enough apparently to do everything i can for them #its not enough to get the best grades and never go out and never talk about my problems and never ask for anything #i have to want something for my future too? how is that fair. everything for you and you say it was all worthless and wasteful #and everything i did is for fucking nothing and im stupid and telling me shit i already know #you dont have to tell me my hobbies and my likes are for nothing i already know. i asked you for your opinion because everything is for you #my life is for you and i asked you if my choices were okay because your opinion matters over everything #didnt you think there was a reason why i always ask you what you want and what you like? but i was being selfish? #theres no point trying to make you understand you just never will. theres no point talking to you #i can put myself in a position where im begging for help from you and you wont understand. you wont listen to me. you never have #youve never understood me when it mattered. you only ever loved me in the ways you know how and i never complained #i already gave my future to taking care of you because theres nothing else i can do. but somehow i make u feel bad for it. im being selfish #so i dont understand what you want me to do. ive always done everything you said. you tell me to shut up and i do. you tell me not to go out #and i dont. you want me to smile and do all these things i dont give a shit about and i do #and then you want me not to do any of these things? think about myself? make up your mind already #im so tired trying and trying to be a person you wont be disappointed by and i keep failing. nothing i do is good #and i cant talk to you about it or my brother or my cousins because they dont understand it. they never listen when it matters #fucking whatever #vent post #delete later #aricouldyounot

[mrfoox]

Uh.... Kinda brought up an topic which was tough but it was okay....?

#miranda talking shit #As usual i never said all i thought bc i always have so much on my mind #But ... Basically mentioned that people but is the recent case oliver can feel like hes too careful with me #So ofc he clarified that he doesnt and just generally liked to be nice and not rude and i buy that but kept on saying #That people in my past also have thought i am more fragile and maybe proper than i actually am #And that im a very uncomplicated person when it comes to some things. For example how i feel about other people #They can tell me and do anything and that wont make me suddenly dislike them or drop them. If i like a person already #... Theres a point where i do not care what else they have done or do? At least ive not encountered anything that have changed it for me #Ive never met someone who killed someone or something but... Who have opinions or have done things or do things which i dont care about #For example drugs. I havent tried anything and probably wont but i know multiple who have or are using and that doesnt make me... Think #Less of them? So. I explained that and said that he had never said something to me that has hurt me or something. Or then i brought up #The incident a few weeks ago and said that time i got hurt. But then i cried for an hour and realized he probably said what he said #Bc he was scared and worried. And it wasnt about me at all. So then i was just ... Fine. I wasnt planning to say anything about that even #But told him anyway. And then touched on the topic that i... Do things... Without thinking about it in the moment #And then realize afterwards its somewhat intentional? And its not something i like to say bc i feel like a bad person? #We didn't discuss that much bc he had to go so idk if ill even bring that up again unless the topic is close but yeah. #He said it was a good talk and i agree. Im always worried to share anything i think or how i work with people bc i fear they'll think im #Weird. But i did it and he seemed fine and i was stable enough. I think he wont care and thats what i like about him but also #I know bc we are so different... It's more likely we misunderstand each other. And honestly i cant shake the feeling i scare him a bit #Bc i feel so much and i want to talk about everything. Thats why i somewhat hesitate to say some things #He also said he have a history of. Dropping people or having his opinion of someone shift bc of something. Thus then it make sense #He got freaked out by me that time. Bc he thinks in his terms and for him others can be changed by small incidents so he thought i had #Changed mine. Thus the 'ive ruined it. I ruined our relationship and it was so good' It should scare me more that he said that his opinion #Of others can change so quickly and big. Bc... Im anxious but for some reason i.. Dont feel worried about that? Maybe bc i have always had #The mindset that people will leave me in the end no matter what and that i always care more about someone than they me. So i dont expect #Anything of anyone i like... But today was interesting talk tbh. I love discussing things with him. He's so different from me it's fresh #Possibly my autistic ass being hyperfocused on him and intrested bc of that. This is kinda how i was with Fabian at some point #He felt like an interesting individual bc he was so different from me so i was obsessed with talking with him about things #I enjoy it and i wont share how i think so i dont scare anyone so.... Should be okay

[slvtforfiction]

Jake Webber nsfw alphabet. I love those but I’ve never seen one for Jake

NSFW alphabet

☆ Yesssss!

☆ Jake Webber X Reader

☆ Smut

☆ Masterlist

☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I've lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

A = Aftercare

(what they’re like after sex)

Jake is definitely the best person for aftercare,he will help/do whatever you need.

You want a bath? Stay there he’s running to start one. You want cuddles? He has two arms and a chest for you.

B = Body part

(their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part on himself is definitely his hands,he knows how to use them too.

His favourite body part on you however? Your thighs. I will not elaborate.

C = Cum

(anything to do with cum, basically)

Love,love,lovessss to cum inside of you if your on the pill,if not he’s willing to make the biggest mess possible.

On your back? Done. On your chest? Done. Anywhere he can get to in the moment has had his cum dripping down it.

D = Dirty secret

(pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has definitely jacked off to you and would love the idea of mutual masturbation.

He would probably never tell you unless he was drunk or it came up in conversation.

“You’re my girlfriend of course I’ve jacked off to you.”

E = Experience

(how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Omd. Jake has had so much experience that it’s unreal,he loves his experience with you though.

He will have discovered all of your kinks by your first time together and he would openly admit that.

F = Favorite position

(this goes without saying)

Loves everything but I think he’s especially loving of doggy,why? Because your face mushed into the pillows,your makeup falling off your face and onto the bed? Loves it.

G = Goofy

(are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s a mix of both,thinks theres always going to be moments to laugh about but also some moments that are supposed to be serious.

H = Hair

(how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He does not care at all. What do I mean? If you haven’t shaved,he’s going down their anyways and the same goes for him,he doesn’t care if you have or haven’t shaved and doesn’t care if he’s shaved if you don’t care either.

If you cared about him shaving I feel like he would make it a point to shave before having any intimacy.

I = Intimacy

(how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He is daddy dom cl. He would definitely be romantic sometimes and especially if you’ve had a bad day he will be sensual and sweet but if you haven’t? He is rough and fast and doesn’t mind making you shed a few tears.

J = Jack off

(masturbation headcanon)

He thinks about mutual masturbation daily,I feel like he wouldn’t bring it up and would hope you ask him about it anyways.

Has definitely scrolled through your instagram to find you look pretty and to then find himself with a hard on.

If you’re not to be found he will Jack off but if he knows where you are,he coming for you in both ways.

K = Kink

(one or more of their kinks)

Spanking- definitely has a thing for slapping you on the ass,whether that be with his hand or with a belt.

Handcuffs- Loves tying you to the bed to watch you squirm and attempt to wiggle out of it while he uses you like the pathetic slut you are <3

Degrading- Would definitely call you a pathetic slut etc., but will always have ‘my’ on the front (e.g “my pathetic slut”)

Praise- Would also through in praise whilst degrading you (e.g “My Pretty little slut”)

L = Location

(favorite places to do the do)

He knows he’s basic but he loves the bed,sofa and anyways you can lay down and still have comfort. Would always put your comfort before his,doesn’t care if your in the middle of nowhere as long as your comfortable so is he.

Wouldn’t particularly like the shower because he has a fear that one of you will slip and if you hurt yourself he knows he would blame himself even if it wasn’t his fault.

M = Motivation

(what turns them on, gets them going)

He gets turned on so easily but your favourite way to tell him you’re in the mood would definitely be to sit on his lap.

Loves the feeling of power over you as well,if he thinks he has an upper hand he gets turned on tbh.

Also likes when you wear short skirts/crop tops,I will not elaborate.

N = No

(something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Wouldn’t do anything to genuinely hurt you,if he knew you didn’t like something he would hate it too. He hates making you feel anything that isn’t pleasurable.

O = Oral

(preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Huge giver and receiver,loves returning the favour as well.

If you’ve had a bad day that man is ready to give you everything you’ve ever wanted,even if he gets nothing from it.

Loves seeing his little girl happy :( <3

P = Pace

(are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Easy,fast and rough. He loves fucking you like he’s mad and especially loves hate sex + makeup sex after a fight.

Although I also feel like if you’ve had a bad day/genuinely upset with him about something he would rather be slow and sensual and focus on you.

Q = Quickie

(their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

I feel like he doesn’t mind quickies but isn’t a massive fan. Loves having his time with you and doing what he wants.

R = Risk

(are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Definitely,to everything. “Hey Jake so I was wondering if you wanted to-“ will always say yes,he wants to try everything with you,he wants you to be his last.

Will openly admit if he doesn’t like something,but would definitely still try something that’s new to both of you even if he ends up not liking it.

He would also definitely have semi-public sex with you because he finds the adrenaline to be a huge turn on.If you get caught what’s the worst that can happen?

S = Stamina

(how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Could go for as many rounds as you can,would never let you down. Would definitely overstimulate you if you could only take a round or two.

T = Toys

(do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

This man loves toys,sees them as a friend,not an enemy.

Loves to see you come undone on plastic then laugh at you,proceeding to show you how much better his own cock is.

U = Unfair

(how much they like to tease)

He would tease you till the world ended. Would love to see you needy and begging for him whilst he eggs you on only to let you down. Would eventually let you come undone but not without hours of teasing and edging.

V = Volume

(how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Wouldn’t really moan but would definitely grunt/groan whilst he’s inside of you,in anyway possible.

W = Wild card

(a random headcanon for the character)

Loves to have you pinned underneath him,definitely a dom and loves, loves,loves pillow princess’.

X = X-ray

(let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

6inches and he knows how to use it. That’s it,will not elaborate.

Y = Yearning

(how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is pretty moderate maybe about 3-4 times a week but if you have a high sex drive he will make it 10x higher for the both of you.

Z = Zzz

(how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He wouldn’t really fall asleep any quicker than he usually does. Also wouldn’t fall asleep until everything cleaned up (including you) and he knows you’re okay.

Would love to cuddle with you after rather than either of you falling asleep. He doesn’t mind if you fall asleep as long as he’s got some cuddles <3

#spotify #smut #song #romance #cute #fluff #colby brock smut #sam and colby #sam and colby fluff #colby brock #jakewebber #jake webber fluff #jake webber smut #jake webber #jake webber x reader

[luffyvace]

HIIII hru !!! may i please ask for some feitan fluffs hcs 😩 i love this tiny man with all my soul

IM DOING GOOD!! YES YOU MAY!!! I ACTUALLY HAVE SUCH A DEEP ROOTED LOVE FOR HIM I DONT TALK ABOUT HIM OFTEN ENOUGH💥💥

(omg this reminds me i’m supposed to be doing the whole troupe and chuuya x male reader- i’m so all over the place but the point is another dabble of feitan hcs will be here in the future! 😋)

also ooc/fanon him since this is fluff :)

tw: death…and torture (i use “unalive” instead of d!e/k!ll)

alrighty so you said fluff headcanons and it’s highly likely you’ll get fluffy feitan if you’ve known each other for a long time (since meteor)

i’m going to dabble in reader that is both in and outside of the troupe because i can :)

so for reader that’s in the troupe first of all no pda

hardly any weakness was displayed besides sadness/anger or mourning (and some funny moments)

theres no need for cuddles during business

unless your like uvo and simply don’t care

then it annoys the crap out of him <3

it’s not like he doesn’t want your affection—just not in public

will cuddle you in private tho

y’all usually sit there in silence or read together

he can be a little spoon or big spoon it doesn’t bother him

he tries his best but he’s never let anyone else so close to him before

if you introduce something to him and he likes it he’ll do it back

because why would you do it to him if you wouldn’t want it done to you right?

im gonna assume you have either a apartment which you unalived the owner of or y’all live in meteor still

he’ll let you choose really he doesn’t care where you stay

he’d even unalive a high status person to steal their mansion if that’s what you want

your obviously strong and have some sort of nen if your in the troupe so he doesn’t bother worrying

although if your like kortopi he’ll stay vigilant for you

even though you can use nen to defend yourself as well

btw if your not a pda person the troupe is grateful

aint no body wanna see allat-

he doesn’t know how to cook or clean and since your both from meteor so i hope you learn or already know how

otherwise y’all eat what y’all can when y’all can

whether you steal a five star gourmet meal or just wait for the next opportunity like a vending machine

i don’t advise you ask for a pet by the way

he’ll tortu£ it and i’m not talking about strapping it down or anything

just purely scarring them 😭

if you be firm about him stopping he will

unless it’s a big scary dog or smth

then he’s more likely to take em under his wing and train them to be vicious

will scare people with said animal

for stay at home reader…. (most of these also apply for troupe reader<3)

i say stay at home bc with his portion of money you could buy anything you want

if you tell him what you want u can get it for free cuz he steals it

but

if you want to take a bath together it would take more than a god to convince him

seriously he sees no reason in it

once you do tho

at first he is on one end of the tub and your on the other

as time goes on he’ll let you lean back into his chest as he scrubs your hair

he lets you play in his hair

don’t tell ANYONE

he don’t like vulnerability so if you tell someone he won’t do it for like 2 weeks

you think he’s never gonna do it again until you crawl into his lap while he’s reading on the bed and ask really sweetly

he’s all yours after that

HIS HAIR IS SO FLUFFY!!

and yes he lets you play with it :)

you get to put it into all types of styles!!

especially since it’s a decent length!

not really interested in playing in your hair

he tries but the rubber band always ends up tangled in your hair

if you kiss him goodnight he will start to initiate it as well

thats one thing he will forever reciprocate

loves your humor

no matter the type

but he especially loves when you laugh at his dark jokes

youve seen him smile before 💖

warms your heart knowing no one else gets this side of him

not judgmental of your looks for obvious reasons

yall got bigger problems

dismisses anytime you degrade yourself

he be speaking facts

”the way your hair looks gonna unalive you?”

”your pimples will st^b you while sleeping?”

no? you goofy goober so why does it matter

don’t argue him on this

genuinely doesn’t like the idea of you being hurt

by him or someone else

dont expect anyone who does harm to you to see the tomorrow sun

even if you plead for them don’t waste your breath pleading you need to be saying goodbye

real loyal partner

as loyal to you as he is the troupe

you and the troupe are his forever commitments

no matter what he could never stop loving you

you guys practically never argue

hes not necessarily hotheaded but will say what’s on his mind and if someone disagrees he does it anyway

thing is he compensates with you💗

if he knows your nitpicking he ignores it but if it’s genuinely something you don’t like he won’t fight it

also he cleans up well if you don’t like to see blood/gore in your place after he’s done t•rturing someone

he respects and listens to your opinions and feelings

would love if your a sadistic person as well but he understands if your not

also if your not in the troupe he teaches you nen

only the troupe knows your together and where you stay for your safety

your safety is definitely on his priority list

truly cares about and loves you

enjoy!!!! i’ll prob come back and read my own hcs bc I LOVE HIM

thank you for this request i loved writing every letter of it♡

#feitan #phantom troupe #feitan porter x reader #feitan hxh #feitan portor #feitan x reader #hxh 2011 #anime #anime and manga #anime headcanons #luffyvace #fluff #fluff headcanons #hxh manga #soft headcanons #relationship headcanons #hxh headcanons #hxh x reader #hunter hunter hcs #hunter x hunter x reader #hunter x hunter #phantom troupe headcanons #phantom troupe x reader

[slipperyskell]

Man I’m gonna be completely honest: I don’t really care if Monty killed Bonnie or not at this point, but with the evidence we’re given in Ruin (not counting the lil story we get on the gator gondola ride because regardless of what the truth is, that was a [very cute] cover up story for whatever actually happened), there are some things seriously not lining up with Monty being the one to kill him.

First off: Bonnie’s last location was in Gator Golf. How the hell did he end up dying in Bonnie Bowl? Which is what happened, you can see where his head hit the wall + the broken bowling ball around Bonnie’s head, too. And it’s not like he could have been dragged from Gator Golf to Bonnie Bowl - afaik they’re pretty far apart from each other and the cameras would have caught it.

Secondly, and I think this is really important: Monty didn’t get his claws until AFTER Bonnie disappeared. Not to mention that Bonnie had claws to help him play the bass, too. It’s clearly stated that those claws are very good at wrecking shit, but there’s no way something without them could have ripped through Bonnie that easily. That being said, there are very clear claw marks on Bonnie’s chest, with three fingered claws. Personally I don’t think that’s green paint smudged around the injury since paint chipping doesn’t work like that from what I understand, but it might be plastic rub from the casings instead? Or even just dirt tbh - I haven’t played the game myself but looking at pictures/videos of it, it doesn’t really look like that same bright green that Monty or any of the bots are painted with.

Obviously the PeePaw Parts theory doesn’t hold up anymore since none of Bonnie’s Parts are missing, and imo it can be taken either way whether FazEnt actually found Bonnie. They mention him being decommissioned in one of the notes in base game, but that could be a matter of them never finding him and just assuming that’s what happened. It’s implied that ALL of the bots use AI to function, and it’s also implied that Bonnie’s disappearance happened a while before the events of SB, so while I think it’s a little bit of a stretch, it could be that the wet floor bots found him and stayed with him, but being in a hidden room, none of the human employees did.

Despite the Mimic’s prowess, I think it’s very unlikely that it had anything to do with Bonnie’s death as it was pretty clearly stated that it was trapped under the plex for a very long time, before the plex was even built. So unless it he hacked into another animatronic - which is very likely given that’s pretty much the entire plot of SB in the first place - don’t think it had anything to do with it directly (as in it put on Monty’s casings and killed Bonnie as a red herring situation)

Then you have the whole thing with Bonnie’s glowing eyes, which has only really been associated with bots being possessed (and that secret room in SB where you gotta take a picture of all the old cutouts of the gang). Was Bonnie possessed? Did the soul and the AI not merge well and cause him to go mad before taking himself out?

Then we have the whole thing with the MXES security system!!! All that rabbit imagery and the fact that the Glamrocks were a part of that system as well as being under the Mimic’s control, I can’t help but feel like there was some sort of mix-up.

I really don’t know what this all means or where I’m going with this.I think it’s possible that Monty was actually the one who killed him, but only because there really isn’t any evidence (or lack thereof) to say it could have been anyone else. That being said, theres a lot of things not adding up in that story (Bonnie’s last location being gator golf when he’s actually in bonnie bowl + Monty not having his claws installed until AFTER Bonnie’s disappearance being the big ones). If Monty was actually the one to hbe done it, I think it’s possible he may not have done it intentionally/maliciously - I think it’s possible that the mimic had assumed Bonnie was tied to MXES system and killed him through Monty or one of the other animatronics.

It’s really hard to say tbh!!! I’m just more interested in the “why” than the “who” at this point.

#fnaf #five nights at Freddy’s #fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #Monty gator #Montgomery gator #glamrock bonnie #fnaf monty #Monty fnaf #Bonnie fnaf #fnaf bonnie

[morgana-ren]

He seems to indulge them a little more than he would anyone else

He definitely sees them as something more than he should, whether he admits that to himself or not. He saves them on several occasions, tries to interfere if you get sent to hospital or prison. He gives more attention and care to PC than any other of his charges. So What do you think Bailey sees the PC as? What he views their relationship as?

(Bailey is definitely someone with a lot of power in this town, even the Mayor seems scared of him, theres absolutely something more going on with him than just main antagonist, hopefully they expand more on his character soon!)

At first, I was thinking because the PC is obviously the best money maker for them. A little cash cow under their control. It's in his best interest not to let people have their way with you for free, or know that they can get to you in any way that doesn't involve going through him first.

But in truth?

He protects you before that's really the case.

(Realistically, from the game dev's point of view, it's meant as a soft block to keep you from fucking up too badly and ending up somewhere you aren't prepared for and ruining your game before you're ready. I know that.)

When you're an S tier beauty with massive mommy milkers and a can that could make pringles jealous, it's understandable. You're his best little orphan. His prized product. He's got buyers coming through left and right vying for a piece of your ass, and he tells you as much constantly.

(Though... Avery will pay you a lot of money-- almost all of what you pay Bailey, and he does it willingly, so it's not out of the question to think that someone has offered Bailey more than he charges you, but he has turned it down for... one reason or another.)

But what about when you're just a cute little thing, barely big enough for your boots and getting your bearings? Not really sexy or even appealing yet-- just kind of benign and adorable. Sure, he extorts you, and he's a cruel, ruthless motherfucker, but by God, does he bear teeth trying to defend you.

And he gives you four chances. With Robin, it's one payment out, and he sells them off. With you? He's easy by comparison. You don't get off scott free by any means, but he doesn't just sell you to the dock workers.

He openly admits attraction to you when you fuck him, and not just recently either. Straight up admits it.

"You were always the best looking little bitch."

He's not saying you're the best looking little bitch now that you're impaled on his cock, or even recently, but that he's always noticed your allure. On some level, he's always been aware of his attraction.

Implies possession. Like this is something he's thought about and contemplated. Like he's always claimed it, and known that it was always his to begin with. Like it was only a matter of time.

Not something a typical caretaker usually does, me thinks.

Did I, Bailey? Or did you? Was this inevitable to some degree? Cause it seems like it's been weighing on your mind for a while. Seems like you're trying to convince me— or yourself— that this wasn't your choice. That it was mine.

Want me to remember you fondly? Or with pleasure? Or knowing that the first time was yours and there was never any question or choice, and that I will always belong to you, no matter where I end up?

I think it's a lot more complicated than he lets on— and he hates it.

Obviously they can't have you seducing the main antagonist or else you'd lose the drive of the game. Bailey is the thing that keeps you working and grinding and playing. Having him soften and open his heart would fuck that unless it was replaced with something else.

But in my mind? Bailey is watching and waiting. Repressed and about to burst. A few careful, tactful actions like you've done before and it might unlock something you're not entirely ready for.

His love wouldn't be soft, or even pretend to be sophisticated like Avery. It's fierce and hateful, with hands that bruise and teeth that bite and chains that constrict. You ruined him, and he'll ruin you in return. If he can't bear to let you go, he'll extract value from you himself.

(let me dream, Vrel, let me dream.)

#degrees of lewdity #bailey the caretaker #dol bailey #please just lemme... lemme dream #am i looking too deep where there is supposed to be just sexy? yes #am i going to do it anyway? #yeah

[gohannygo]

Emerie lore speculation post?!! :O

Okay guys this is my little gift to myself for finishing my school work on time. Also like low key regardless if you agree or not, drop your Emerie predictions/thoughts in the comments— because for whatever reason my brain has attached itself to her, but she has like 5 mins of screen time and vary little discourse surrounding her :D

Okay guys I’m get real with you, I don’t think Emerie was created as an enhanced clone, or with some kind of special ability. I think she was made to be as plain and reg-like as possible.

Based on Nala Se’s reaction to Omega’s blood being sampled and tested, we can assume she knew and maybe even was responsible for Omegas ability to support an M-count. What I think happened was, Nala se was like “Oh oops it appears I have gotten emotionally attached to this child so I’m keeping her as my own, but I dont wanting any snoopers out there to trying to figure out whats so special about her,” so she created Emerie as a decoy of sorts. Essentially a female version of a reg to send out to the world to prove that theres no reason for anyone to inquire about Omega because look how regular female clones are. Like in a super heartbreaking way, my theory is that Emerie was essentially made to have no identity. To be an obedient little placeholder to take attention away from Omega’s existence.

Wow thats cool but why does it matter?

OKAY so throughout the premiere we saw that maybe there was some trouble in Tantiss paradise for Emerie. Shes been content(?) with complying and doing what is asked of her up until this point, but we saw her be willing to break rules for Omega’s sake, and we also saw how shaken she looked when Hemlock was like “Return to the lab, Dr. Karr”. She also looked like she was really pondering things at the end of episode three when she discovered Omega’s ability to support an M count transfer.

I think maybe during the rest of the season we’ll see her start to grapple with what she really wants to do here, as (I believe, in her own little way), she now has a sister she cares about and wants to protect. I think Omega, through her doll making and Batcher taming, has shown Emerie a little bit of light. That clones can have their own wants, and makes choices based off of them. But really, I don’t think a person who has presumably grown up being conditioned to follow rules and see herself as property would be able to quickly break out of that rigid structure shes used to and make a personal choice to try and keep Omega safe in a significant way.

What? Okay please just bear with me. Wording things is not my forte.

I think Nala Se will see an opportunity to further get in the head of an already torn Emerie. I think she might reveal her original purpose of essentially being made to protect omega. And emerie, who already sort of sees herself as a tool to being used for some greater purpose, will then feel almost like shes been given “permission” to disobey. Sort of like “Oh damn, not only is this something I want to do, but more importantly it was the purpose I was designed for yassssss”. I think she will continue acting as normal but will basically be a shooter on the inside for Omega and it will build up to her sabotaging further experimentation done on Omega if shes captured.

Idk if this makes sense or is dumb. But I just think it could be a cool avenue. Because we’ve seen clones grapple with what theyve done under imperial command and have seen some of them change their ways which is awesome. And, I think it could also be cool to see a character whos been so shaped by her upbrining, and doesnt have that soldier-ly sheer force of will to just defect. I think it could be cool to see someone go about a change of allegiance in a more roundabout way where they basically have to reason themselves through it because they arent equipped to do it any other way. But yeah its 2 AM now so goodnight.

Bonus: Here is an educational diagram I made of Emerie being “sent elsewhere” circa twentysomething BBY

#the bad batch #tbb #tbb emerie #tbb omega #emerie karr #And I feel like she has potential to be so girl coded in a ‘what am I outside of the purpose I’m meant to serve for other people’ way AHHHH

[spectrumgarden]

how do you know if you have medium support needs?

Gonna go on a bit of a long winded support needs rant here.

Frankly theres no hard lines between the terms low medium and high support needs. Medium support needs specifically is a community term, meaning it was made by autistic people instead of medical professionals. There are also many people who consider themselves right between two categories, so they'll say they are low-medium or medium-high, which honestly turns it into more of a 5 options system than 3 if you're being pedantic. And then theres also the option of describing the category further, for example like saying you are on the high end of low support needs, or the low end of medium support needs.

( slight tangent: depending on where you live there might be actual legal categories with strict definitions, based on how much support someone needs, seperate from the specific terms of LSN MSN and HSN. In germany where I live there are Pflegegrade, translating to "care degree", which has 5 levels. I am right under the point cut off for level 3, so I'm a high level 2, described as "substantial limitation of indepence and skill". (Which I think also fits well with me considering myself on the low end of MSN.) This care level translates to funding for my care by my insurance and (alongside my disability ID score and markers) is often used in services for disabled people to "prove" that I need them to begin with before the question of funding even comes up. )

When it comes to assessing these support needs, whether legally defined or community coined, you can not really get around ADLs, activities of daily living. There are bADLs and iADLs, and most lists online will be fairly similar in what they include. ADLs are used in assessing disabled peoples need for care no matter their type of disability. It's what was used for my grandmother with alzheimers the same way it's used for me or my neighbor with mobility issues.

Since there are no strict "you need to hit exactly these many of the bADLs and these many of the iADLs that you need help with in this way" rules to qualify for, anything past this point will be my subjective opinion that I formed after looking at tons of peoples self reported and caregiver reported support needs label and what they need help with, and in what capacity. Others might define this (slightly) differently.

Support basically starts at reminders and ends in someone else completely doing it for you (sometimes done as hand over hand to hopefully build motor memory so you might be able to start doing them a bit more independently in the future). Theres also the detail of "how do you define needing care" and in general disability circles, not necessarily autism specific circles, I've often seen the phrase "can you do it reliably and safely" to assess if you need help with something. So if you can only get yourself to shower once a month for example even with reminders, that would still count as requiring care of some level for it to be done reliably. Or if you can use an oven to heat up / make food but you sometimes get burns that go beyond regular "clumsiness" that also means you probably need additional support to use it safely.

From what I've seen in the community over the last few years I honestly consider bADLs to be a large deciding factor for your support needs. If I did not need help with bADLs beyond reminders I could for example probably get away with only having a few hours of support a week for things like assisted grocery shopping or driving me to a doctor's appointment or helping me write an email or make a phone call or helping me deep clean the bathroom or kitchen, while spending my day to day completely by myself. I would still have to accommodate myself the rest of the time, such as mostly relying on instant and generally low effort food, my apartment would probably never be super tidy (but also like. Majority of peoples apartments get messy on the regular, I should know from my friends that are all 100% abled), and relying on a schedule, for example an app or physical list on the wall, for bathing, dressing and grooming.

But because I need prompting for my bADLs to be done reliably in any way or form I suddenly need a lot more care, so this small detail made it go from 1-2 days a week to daily.

with bADLs (and similarly iADLs but that's not the focus right now) it starts with people who need no help with them, then people directly below me who need reminders for (some) of them, people like me who need prompting and on bad days hands on help with some. And over that are people who need prompting for most if not all of them, and ending in people who need hands on help for all of them. And if you crammed that entire experience all into high support needs and left low to medium support needs open for people who only need help with iADLs it would be way too much for the HSN category alone I think. But if you extended it into low support needs it would also make low support needs basically useless as a term. Which to me means it makes the most sense to consider needing some help with bADLs beyond reminders the thing that sort of starts the category of medium support needs applying. Because frankly speaking reminders dont take up a lot of time, often can be done virtually or without the need for another person via reminders and checklists etc. Which is a stark contrast to someone who needs to be walked through a task from beginning to end by someone by their side at all times. So you can need help with most/all of your iADLs, which means you still need a relatively high amount of care if you look at it from an abled perspective ( i.e. someone to control your finances for you, and organize your transportation, and help you keep your environment clean, ...) and maybe rely on a phone app that reminds you to brush your teeth and shower, and still be low support needs, because you're putting it in the perspective of the large variety that is disabled experiences.

Lastly I do think the ADLs are not perfect, for example at least older definitions usually do not include things like if you can engage in fun activities by yourself such as watching media or reading or drawing, whatever you enjoy, or how effectively you can communicate in daily life even though that is in itself important to your quality of life and will affect how much time needs to be spend on your care. However they are the best we have currently and make a lot of sense.

#i have read this like a hundred times now trying to figure out if what i said actually is what i *want* to say #because the two dont always match up lol #at this point this does not even make sense to myself anymore. might as well have written gibberish #i hope it makes sense to you though anon #asks

[devine-fem]

As someone who likes Damijon as both platonic and romantic…I don’t understand the obsession of certain antis bring up whole age gap thing when it comes to Damian and Jon. It’s getting really old and pissing me off at this point.

I can’t recall a fandom I’ve been in where antis kept bringing up an age gap between two characters.

Idk if I’m talking out of my ass but it sounds like as if antis think the fandom puts Damijon in sexual situations 24/7 when that’s not the case.

Jfc no one is forcing you to ship them if you don’t (it’s not even canon!) but don’t go around accusing the fandom as p*d*s just to make a point. ( I know in fandoms there some weirdos too but it doesn’t make up a whole)

Let the Damijon fandom enjoy whatever crumbles they are getting right now…because it’s really just crumbles at this point.

If those antis also consist of those who are our rival ships (they know who they are) like yall are getting canon content rn from DC if you’re upset with the quality of it speak with your wallet idk…???

Sorry for the rant it’s just for the most part Damijon fandom has been pretty chill (excluding Twitter that’s another can of worms) and I hate the accusations parts of the fandom love to make.

Yeah… people don’t talk about how Jon had to be 11 to Damian’s 13 before he left for space because they only read super sons, they never really look at any other source or think about their ages as more than that because tom taylor said out his mouth that they were 3 years apart when dissing the ship BUT he admits himself to not know their exact ages and that it could be a 2 year age gap.

So I just think of it as two years, and with two years I don’t really care because personally even in my youth I’ve been with people who are two years older with no issue because age alone doesn’t determine whether or not someone is taking advantage of you for obvious reasons. Age gaps are not tangible things, to some people what you consider weird is normal to someone else.

Then there’s the fact that neither Jon or Damian have birthdays. Damian was aged up for teen titans which people don’t seem to care about. Among other things like how Jon and Damian are the same age in most other universes… did you know that? Also, people like to say theres a maturity gap but forget that Damian was the immature one that picked fights. Plus, when characters grow up beside each other then it’s less ‘weird’ cause then they are expierencing similar traumas. It’s probably lots smaller then we think.

When I talk about them with a three year age gap then its probably platonic but sometimes romantic, two years then its sometimes platonic or romantic, one year, platonic or romantic and I stay between these because their age can slightly change their dynamic. It’s for fun, its exploring their platonic dynamic if it had elements of romance to it. Its interchangeable to me but for the most parts its two.

They are barbies that I play with at my own free will. They are not real people, they may imitate life but they do not infact replicate it.

So yeah… when they are young I only ever have really seen or interacted with media where J and D have not done more than maybe peck. Its just supposed to be cute and sweet.

Do people not understand the concept of the fact Jon and Damian should not be getting into a serious relationship while they are young or else it would go horribly wrong? Do they not understand that a lot of the ships appeal in the childhood friends TO lovers factor?

It kind of bothers me to be having to put the fact that I l hate Jonjay and like Daminika in my bio so people can get a feel for the type of person I am. And “rival” ships? there’s no rivalry, I don’t feel threatened by other peoples ships at all… especially if they’re canon… unless its like jonjay where the origin of the ship is inherently problematic, substanceless and built on character assassination… but we hate damijon and praise THAT? We say that damijon is worse than that? I’m sorry but jonjay to jon kent is jayroy to roy harper to me.

Twitter is very strange, very very strange people on that app to which this morning I had to uninstall because I KNEW that they would feel threatened by damijons today and hate profusely in response to it.

Although, you guys gotta put that age gap shit to bed…

Dami look 14 here to you? If Damijons are the ones who don’t read comics then how do we know that they are well in their 20s and 30s here. They are both consenting adults in main continuity that can do as they please here. You simply cannot say anything. No arguement can be supported now because now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

There was no point in hate the age gap really in the first place since time was always gonna heal it anyway???

But part of me kind of understands hating it if you experience fandom through twitter which is not a fandom app at all. Damijon stans are annoying and gross on twitter, I get it but not everyone is inherently horrible for obvious reasons.

#please read #asks #super sons #damian wayne #jon kent #supersons #jonathan kent #dc comics #superfam #batfam

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #hunter toh #Grimmwalker #The Owl House #owl house #toh

[pencileraser1]

pencil eraser one. you word your long posts about dps very well so im pointing my frustration with media-ly illiterate people in your direction. im constantly seething with rage at this podcast episode i listened to a very long time ago abt dps bc they said neils suicide was STUPID and OVERDRAMATIC. and i just. i wanna throw up that boy killed himself and ur calling himnoverdramatic what do i even do. i am high a little and this is very much affecting me i cant get up from this couch 🎀

you're completely correct for this i actually have a few thoughts about this so uh bear with me for a second

theres something that sucks so much about this specific type of criticism of this movie in particular to me because of how much i relate to neil. i watched dps for the first time when i was 17, severely depressed and borderline suicidal and i related So Much to him. i didn't write off his suicide or criticize it because i'd Been There.

generally i feel like this criticism probably stems from lack of understanding Why he would do what he did, and there's a number of reasons that that this could be although that would be leaning a bit too much into psychoanalysis and assuming things i don't know about them so i'm not going to go into it really

up until it happens, neil seems like he's doing mostly okay, and particularly if you haven't seen the movie before i could see how to certain people his suicide might seem overdramatic since it's a bit of a sudden shift from mostly okay to suicidal. but the thing is that up until this point, neil has just been doing a very good job at hiding that something is wrong.

my interpretation of the movie has always been that he'd struggled with some form of depression as well as dealing with some amount of suicidal ideation before the movie and had just generally been good at masking it. during the events of the movie he is the happiest he has ever been because of the combination of the poets, acting, and keating. so when at the end of the play his father suddenly takes away all three, and his options are either to confront his father (something that he feels is impossible to do- even if it technically isn't, the fear he has surrounding it of his father listening but not caring, or making things worse than the are, or anything else, prevents him from doing it) or suffer through 10 years of medical school away from anything he actually cares about, he decides to remove himself from the situation entirely instead.

(theres something about the way his suicide is framed within the movie where in some fucked up way his suicide more than anything else is his carpe diem. he's seizing control of his life in the only way he is physically capable of anymore)

neil's suicide isn't rational but that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense or that he's overdramatic. just because logically waiting out the 10 years until he's away from his dad or leaving as soon as he graduates high school or turns 18 or whatever it is is a better option doesn't mean that 1. he'd have the idea to run away early or more importantly think it doable (he tries so hard to not directly disobey his father the whole movie and after doing it one time is now stuck in This situation, additionally, while this is the 50's and in general shit costed less/jobs were easier to get/etc. he is financially dependent on his father and running away without any support is not the smartest decision) and 2. that he'd be physically capable of enduring the 10 years. because 10 years is a long time Especially if it's 10 years studying to become a doctor, something that is both generally difficult and also something he Doesn't Want To Do. and so the sudden switch from happiest time of his life to suicidal throws people off and they don't understand why he wouldn't have done any of the other options that they thing are the logical ones but to him probably didn't seem physically possible.

#neil perry #dps #tw suicide #this might just be nonsense sorry #hopefully coherent

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

can we have more aspd izaya posts please please please please please please please please pl [ i am taken by the fog ]

*grabs u by the leg and pulls u out of the fog* yes of course u can my fine fellow :)

so!! i was talking to a friend about izaya having aspd and whether or not it was an intentional coding on narita's part or if it was a completely unintentional yet still valid way to view the character. honestly, evidence exists for both ways- the emphasis put on izaya's impulse control issues ans disconnect from the rest of humanity, as an example that comes to mind. but there could also be a case that narita didn't mean to invoke a deliberate coding of aspd while placing emphasis on these aspects of him

theres also the whole "two brain scans" thing. was this plot point narita trying to say that he didn't intend for izaya to have any mental illness whatsoever? but then again, brain scans are not exactly the most reliable source of diagnosing mental illness- if it was, we'd just use that. there are studies about aspd and brain differences regarding it, but i have no way of knowing if narita... read them. i don't know the man and i have no idea what studies are available in japanese, since i read mine solely in english.

there's also the study that throws a wrench in brain scan studies as a whole- specifically fMRI studies. it was one of those classic "subject put in brain scan and asked to identify what emotion a person in a photo is showing" except the subject was, ironically since this is a post on izaya..... a dead fish. so did narita see THIS? the study IS from 2009, but to comfirn if its even possible, i'd have to cross-reference the book the two brain scans thing shows up in with the date the study was published, and EVEN THEN the answer is still a big ole "i dunno!"

although, thru all this, i think i settled on an idea of what Might have happened. keyword MIGHT, it's not like i can go ask narita himself. well i mean i guess maybe if i tried really hard.... but i am not going to do that. it sounds scary and frankly i am a weenie, and i don't speak japanese

so, durarara.... is a story largely about the underbelly of society. ergo, there are a lot of tropes present in other works about these kinds of people, but they're subverted here. like, for instance, shizuo- he's the "dumb muscle" trope; an angry fighter who lives for the thrill of violence and that's why he's involved in the underground. except, shizuo hates violence, has tried to hold down regular jobs and is only in the underground out of desperation, and is very perceptive and philosophical. he's a subversion of the dumb muscle trope.

i think izaya was meant to be a subversion of the sociopath as a trope... and imo, you kind of can't really subvert that trope well without giving your character aspd.

"the sociopath" as a trope refers to a character with, essentially, zero humanity. they love nobody, care about nothing but their own gain and destruction, are sadistic for sadism's sake... et cetera.

taking a character and going "they ACT like a sociopath, but they're NOT one!!" is a common subversion of the trope... but it's not really a subversion, is it? it's a bait-and-switch. if a character seems like X but is not X, they are not X. the trope of X does not apply.

imo, for a subversion to really be... y'know... subversive, the character must still possess the original traits of The Sociopath, but they're twisted around and expanded upon

The Sociopath can't love? izaya loves all of humanity... though it doesn't stop him from disregarding their rights and autonomy, ergo still hitting ASPD criteria and still being a sociopath

The Sociopath can't care about anything but their own personal gain? izaya clearly cares about and loves his sisters, but it doesn't negate everything else he's done, or the other times where he has put his own personal gain first

The Sociopath can't feel or express emotion? izaya is demonstrated to be a coward and to have genuine phobias- thanatophobia, the fear of death, IS an anxiety disorder, as are all phobias. shinra describes him as fragile-hearted, and this description is accurate. but, izaya puts on a facade for the rest of the world- ergo, he can't express emotion (at least, not in the way someone without aspd could- it's... hard and scary to Drop The Act; vulnerability is scary and removes the subject's control of a situation, so it stands to reason that it would be difficult for us to do)

The Sociopath is a sadist for sadism's sake? izaya actually has weight behind what he says and does- sure, some of it IS for entertainment, but why he chooses specifically this as entertainment (namely, suicide) has enough bits of info for us as readers to extrapolate. the text doesn't make it explicit, but durarara is a series where paying close attention to minute details is expected and rewarded, so this is par for the course, honestly. and a lot of the things he does, although they result in hurt for the rest of the cast, isn't izaya being a sadist Just Because- at the end of the day he's a scared, lonely man, trying very hard to avoid the thing he's most afraid of in life- the cessation of it.

that's not to say that anything he does is OKAY, obviously, but there's weight and nuance behind it. izaya is treated as a whole human being, just like everyone else. but a lot of core aspects of his character parallel the sociopath trope so cleanly that it's hard for me to believe that it was completely unintentional. was he meant to have specifically aspd, the disorder? i'm not sure. probably not? but "the sociopath, as a trope, but fleshed out and given humanity" is kind of... what aspd.... is. as a disorder. which is why i think you can't truly subvert the trope without giving your character it, inadvertently or not.

anyway yeah this was A Bit different, although i prefer to do watsonian anaylsis i absolutely can do doylist too. i might do more stuff like this if yall like this one idk

#durarara #orihara izaya #izaya orihara #wasks #yaayyyy new meta <3 #i hope u guys like itttttt <3 #please dont be weird about aspd <3 on my hands and crippled knees <3

[faelapis]

so i watch wwdits. and i gotta say. that was the worst episode i've ever seen of not just this show, but maybe any show. ever. wow. i'm actually impressed with how bad it was.

i'm considering doing a more serious dissection of how Not to do a character arc or narrative framing. but for now, let me just share some general thoughts:

undoing guillermos vampirism totally shits on his character arc of standing up for himself and taking what he wants regardless of the morality of it. i hate it and it sucks.

also, the reasons make no sense. guillermo has had zero problem killing people until now. the roundabout way they try to explain it, like wow, he could smell someone's shampoo and imagined him picking it out and felt their mutual humanity... why would that not apply to any of the other people he's killed? he's even had somewhat of a relationship with some of them. yet all he's ever done when they die is give a distressed frown AT MOST.

guillermo is a killer and always has been. lately, he's even proud of it. that has, metaphorically, been part of him "embracing who he is."

but what bothered me even more was nandor. we all know this situation (guillermo being turned by someone else) is his fault for neglecting turning guillermo for 13 years... but instead, everything is framed as guillermos own fault for having someone else turn him. like - look at how mad you made nandor, guillermo. look what you've caused, guillermo. look what you made him do.

which, yikes. i feel like i dont need to say how bad that is.

even worse than nandors jealous rage.... i really hate the stupid condescending "forgiveness" afterwards. thats actually worse. like guillermo was right to be meek and apologetic for this, like it IS something he needs to be forgiven for. but its "okay" now because nandor "forgave" him. lets just move on. no need to interrogate nandors entitlement over guillermo.

you can argue theres the unstated idea that nandor is overreacting. sure. we, the audience, dont want guillermo to die, and thats part of the irreverent way the show treats death and killing.

but still, yknow?

i feel like i'm taking crazy pills, because the real question isnt whether nandor should "forgive" guillermo. in this context, guillermo has done nothing wrong. nandor totally reneged on their agreement as vampire-familiar. guillermo is supposed to serve nandor, and in return, nandor is supposed to turn guillermo. but he keeps not doing it, and in general being shitty towards guillermo. so guillermo takes matters into his own hands.

that COULD be a great character beat. it could confront nandor with his selfishness, and this uneven power relationship where he gets guillermo to stay by not fulfilling his promise.

but the question of whether guillermo should forgive nandor for not turning him, or for throwing a fit when someone else does? not even brought up. even though that really seems like the most pressing question. its crazy how subservient and apologetic guillermo suddenly is, like its S1 all over again. he does some token yelling at nandor, but his primary emotion is clearly guilt. its not enough to remotely change the shitty framing.

look. this show doesnt exactly have much "morality", and i dont want it to. i dont want any of these guys to become upstanding citizens. i like the irreverent tone and how theyre all killers.

but i do care about character arcs and agency.

guillermo has been treated like hes inferior the whole time hes been a familiar. and hes put up with it because he wanted to be a vampire. so by becoming a vampire, he forces the relationship to become equal. he also finally gets what he wants. which is ESPECIALLY poignant when it happens regardless of what nandor wants. it takes back his own agency over the situation, because nandor CAN'T hold it over his head anymore.

and then nandor doesnt like it. and goes into a murderous rage because of own entitlement at being the one to turn guillermo. thats fine as a starting point to a character arc, but guillermo doesn't even stand up for himself. he doesnt fight back as he should - or really, would, given how he's evolved to be more assertive. and then its reinforced by the stupid "forgiveness", like nandor has any right to forgive someone who did nothing wrong. it sets up this convenient scenario where nandor is not confronted for being a shitty master, but guillermo IS confronted for taking control of his own life.

and now, just as conveniently, guillermo just... doesnt like being a vampire, either. so nandor gets to further be a "good friend" making amends by helping "unturn" him. all framed like its about guillermo finding out what he "really" wants.

this is lame and it sucks. not only because guillermos reasons make no sense (again, he's been a killer this whole time? if anything, his arc is more accepting his own lack of morality), but because it resets the chessboard in a way where nandor doesnt have to learn anything.

nandor doesnt have to confront the sting of guillermo having agency to make this choice without him. he doesnt have to deal with the fact that it never got to be him who turns guillermo. he doesnt have to be forcibly confronted with the fact that he now has to treat guillermo as an equal, because guillermo now doesn't need anything from him.

and it sucks because all that could actually be a great jumping off point for them to, despite everything, start a real relationship. maybe even a romantic one. they could mutually realize they actually care about each other. regardless of this pact.

and you can say that by guillermo deciding to be human (as extremely lame and deeply uncool as that is), it also gives them this "equality." because he would stay with the vampires because he wants to, not because he needs something from nandor.

but you're missing the point - its NANDOR who needs to learn. its HE who needs to be confronted by guillermo making his own choices.

so guillermo just... conveniently changing his mind because he was a full vampire for one (1) fucking day and suddenly decided he's too good to kill people?

it robs nandor of that entire arc. and no, i'm not counting his stupid "forgiving" guillermo as learning to treat him like an equal. that would require a lot more introspection about his own entitlement. that would require him to actually say with his chest that guillermo had every right to make this choice, and its not on nandor to forgive him, its on guillermo whether he would forgive nandor.

that doesn't happen. what actually happens is nandor decides to show guillermo "mercy," which, again, firmly places the agency in nandor's hands. at no point does he have to be vulnerable and accept that guillermo might not want to be with him. at no point does he have to introspect about how he's treated him this whole time.

also. there is a long, proud line in patriarchal thinking of husbands "forgiving" their wives for perceived "disobedience," which only reinforces the husband as the head of the household and that said wives "should" have been more obedient. forgiveness is not always an act of kindness. sometimes it's very condescending. which it is here.

(same for the interpretation i've seen from some, that nandor "always knew" guillermo wasn't cut out to be a vampire. like that's why he didn't turn him. what a horrible, condescending idea. i don't know how you can look at nandor being like "i'm not going to give you what you want, because i know better than you" and not think it's shit.)

yes, i'm aware of the cheating metaphor. but its a bad metaphor. at least, not without acknowledging that its been an unequal relationship for 13 years where one partner has been neglecting the other constantly. at that point, the nuance should really come out and maybe the partner "cheating" isnt the worst here.

but that doesn't happen.

also... it's just a bad episode. like. in general. like the whole thing with the guide, where you think she actually gets to assert herself? sounds great. too bad its totally undone by gaslighting her into thinking they do like her and are nice to her. like the problem is they just didnt verbalize that "enough." thats yet another bullied or ignored character whose arc of standing up for themselves (even by immoral means, because its an immoral fantasy show) is undercut.

it sucks. guillermo sucks for losing his defiant streak (and metaphorical empowerment through vampirism), nandor sucks for being entitled. this whole show sucks. i suck for bothering to stick with it so long. i'm done. i'm out.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #wwdits spoilers #i've mostly just been in that fandom on twitter but consider this a formal goodbye on all platforms because wowww #what a shitfest #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless

[alicentsgf]

I want to like Rhaenicent but I feel like Alicent protects Rhaenyra and cares for her way more than Rhaenyra does for her. Adult Rhaenicent seems rather one sided to me ngl. One way Rhaenyra betrayed Alicent was by marrying Daemon, a man who absolutely despises the Hightowers and who wouldn’t hesitate to slaughter Alicent’s children. Does Rhaenyra really not realize how ruthless Daemon is? Daemon is arguably the biggest threat to the Green kids who are Rhaenyra’s own siblings. It just kills me that Alicent stood up to her abuser for Rhaenyra’s life in 1x09 and Rhaenyra has never done anything of that severity for Alicent. And Rhaenyra will likely never know how much Alicent fought to save her. Idk, I just feel like Alicent deserves someone who will love her completely. I can’t see Rhaenyra being that person with the way she’s disregarded Alicent’s worries and feelings.

I'm going to be totally honest and I say this with love... a lot of it becomes easily justifiable for me when i acknowledge that Rhaenyra is just a bit dense. like shes always been sheltered and naive, to the point of genuine stupidity sometimes. she isnt inherently so but her father stomped all over her developing any kind of critical mind early on and she did nothing to overcome that mistake. she became far too comfortable with Viserys waving his crown and magic-ing her problems away and its just a fact shes never managed to see things from alicents perspective... but that doesnt mean alicent isnt as equally important to her as she is to alicent. please bear with me because i promise i will explain this fully.

but first of all, to answer your question 'does rhaenyra not realise how ruthless daemon is?' I mean, giving her the benefit of the doubt ...maybe not? shes pretty much always always seen the best side of daemon. with viserys. with her. with their children. what does she know of daemons genuine ruthlessness? we cant say for sure. once again, giving her the full benefit of the doubt, we dont even know if rhaenyras aware that daemon murdered rhea. like daemons not exactly gonna bring it up and who else would dare suggest that to her of all people? sure shes seen him fight at tourneys she knows hes capable of killing but thats a controlled enviroment where its expected. and she clearly feels safe enough with him personally otherwise she wouldnt have laughed in his face after her grabbed her neck.

its going to be very interesting to see what they do with B&C for this reason. because if rhaenyra isnt involved, at least in the Details... will she be shocked by what daemon is capable of? depends on what version of rhaenyra we get post-luke i suppose. but i dont know if i believe they're likely to have her go That dark so quickly that she'd agree to B&C. (sorry. tangent.)

imo you have to try and see her perspective - rhaenyra is deeply Confused. she thought for many years alicent just suddenly Hated her on the basis of her /loose morals/, like purely hated her, the girl she loved is Gone overnight right when they'd begun to reconcile, and she couldnt really understand why. she just does not understand alicents perspective and she cant begin to fathom alicents situation. and in a way, how could she? shes never faced similar limitations theres an argument to be made she wouldnt be able to even conceptualise it without alicent taking her by the hand and walking her through it. even when they were friends i doubt rhaenyra thought about the privileges she held over alicent (after all, she was a child, it was just what she knew and as far as she could see alicent got to do everything she did so there was no visual imbalance). from rhaenyras point of view, all those years alicent was being unnecessarily antagonistic over something that didnt effect her. this girl she loved and in rhaenyras eyes she is betraying her again and again and again. and rhaenyra thought all that because she couldnt see the bigger picture. how could she begin to understand 'alicent fears what my reign could mean for her children' when viserys actively disencouraged her political interest - her opinion on that point would likely only be 'well obviously i would make sure nothing happened to them', not understanding that That isnt the reassurance she thinks it is.

so yeah. rhaenyra truly doesnt understand what went on or whats going on. but alicent Does (and this imbalance is perfectly demonstrated by the dialogue in the knife scene because, lets be honest, alicent pins down the situation and how rhaenyra fits into it kind of perfectly... whereas rhaenyra incorrectly attributes alicents rage to 'righteousness', not fear.). and personally i think thats why it seems unbalanced or one sided, especially in episode 8. alicent could afford to be genuine, rhaenyra isnt hard to read, whereas rhaenyra still had her guard up because she was just so fucking confused lmao. she briefly saw the gentle, beautiful, kind girl she was in love with in alicents treatment of a dying viserys at the dinner table - and upon realising alicent actually Does still have that side to her rhaenyra doesnt know what to do except subtlety apologise for perhaps not truly Seeing alicent and for accusing her of trying to harm viserys. she thought the alicent she knew was long dead until that moment - the girl has got emotional whiplash. so its not that rhaenyra loves alicent less. her reactions in episode 10 make it very clear there is still A Lot going on there for her (and we know emma d'arcy's pov on it was that rhaenyra genuinely considers conceding the throne with the hope of alicent 'taking her back'). shes just very very Very muddled about whether the current version of alicent is Still the person she loves...

and i think maybe 'love' is the wrong word for what they have when theres so much piled on top but its definitely a devotion. its this constant need to reconcile and be close that they just cant shake because a part of them will always desire the other.

tl;dr rhaenyra is just... kinda dumb god bless. and their imbalance is in their ability to understand the situation, not in the amount of love thats held.

(besides they were never exactly going to be a healthy equal deserving love thats not the point of them imo. they are a missed opportunity. a greek tragedy. starcrossed lovers. etc)

#ask #anon #hotd #alicent hightower #rhaenicent #rhaenyra targaryen #this is barely legible i know #but you get it