#-that they dont exist and it takes away such a big chunk of what makes subnautica the amazing game it is
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am i?? losing my mind here??
okay, so, like, subnautica, right?
recent news is that subnautica 3 is in production/in the works, hooray!! literally cannot be more excited about this, it’s my favorite game ever and i am so thrilled to see where the next one is headed but, i feel like, what the next one is going to be about is. . obvious?
who knows!! maybe im losing my mind here and i am just a tad too into these games so other people didn’t think about this but, sub3 is gonna be about the architect home planet. it has to be, doesn’t it??
the exact quote from the people working on the game is “I dream of visiting new worlds, exploring intricate alien ecosystems and lost civilizations. I don't think I'll ever get tired of the fantasy of making contact with intelligent life. I also dream about going on these adventures with friends. Getting lost, together.” and people are theorizing that the game takes place either in the past, showing 4546B a thousand years ago, takes place in the crater’s edge, or another unseen part of 4546B but. . .4546B’s story is done? the only loose end there is Ryley, who i would love to see again, but the planet’s mysterious have all been answered? i don’t know how they are coming to those conclusions when BZ perfectly sets up what the next game will be about?
“I dream of visiting new worlds, exploring intricate alien ecosystems and lost civilizations” this??? seems so much like they’re talking about exploring the architect homeworld??? new worlds implies we’re going to a different place, doesn’t it? and lost civilizations, yeah, going through the arc homeworld and piecing together what happened??
“I also dream about going on these adventures with friends. Getting lost, together.” some people are interpreting this as sub3 going multiplayer, which would be okay i guess, but wouldn’t this make more sense if it were referencing Al-An and robin???? especially with the line BZ ends with?? ‘with you, I am ready to face whatever awaits us’ like???
also the second game ended with a cliff hanger!!! it ended with showing us the architect homeworld!!! WHY WOULDN’T SUB3 BE ABOUT THAT???? WHY WOULD THEY SUDDENLY SHIFT THE STORY ENTIRELY??
i dont know, maybe im losing my mind here, maybe theorists on youtube know something i don’t but the plot of sub3 seems obvious to me, because BZ literally ended with showing us where the story was headed.
am i crazy? or have other people also realized that exploring the architect homeworld seems like the only logical next step in the story? to find out what happened? we found out what happened to sam and the game ends with robin promising they’ll find out what happened to the architects. why are people thinking ANYTHING ELSE would happen????
who knows, if sub3 comes out and im completely wrong, i will take that L and dig myself a grave but until then, i will hold this thought pretty confidently
#subnautica#subnautica below zero#subnautica below zero spoilers#subnautica spoilers#subnautica al-an#is it because they hate BZ :(( it's because they hate BZ isn't it :(( god dammit#sleepy rants#these games are legit my favorite games in existence and BZ meant so fucking much to me - i adored that game!! it was so good!!#not every game needs to be a masterpiece - i had a wonderful time playing it and fell in love with the story/characters#that's all a good game needs#the story of the architects is so interesting and i would love to know more about them/their home and so many people just pretend-#-that they dont exist and it takes away such a big chunk of what makes subnautica the amazing game it is#sorry if i come off as bitchy here- i just care about subnautica a lot and seeing people completely ignore a major part of it sucks#al-an's story is so interesting!!! i love the arcs SO FUCKING MUCH!!! when i saw him for the first time i lost my SHIT#I WANT THE NEXT GAME TO BE ABOUT THE ARCS SO BADLY#TELL ME MORE ABOUT THEM#PLEASE#like i cannot tell if these people are willfully being ignorant to basic story telling mechanics or if they just. . . dont get it#it ended on a cliff hanger- the next game will be explaining that cliff hanger?#like sure we didn't get an answer to what happened to ryley word for word but we KNOW that alterra is pretending he doesn't exist!!#we know- in part- what happened to him- that's why it isn't answered#we find logs talking about how the aurora 'disappeared'#with no survivors#alterra is hiding his existence#also WE NOW HE'S IN SPACE- MYSTERY THERE SOLVED#SPACE#BUT WITH THE ARCS WE DON'T KNOW!!#WHY WOULD THEY SET UP AN ENTIRE GAME WITH THE MYSTERY OF TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ARCS AND THEN JUST DROP IT???????#WHY DO THEY THINK THAT UW WOULD DO THAT???#angry
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Steve knows he falls in love too easily. Nancy told him, Robin too.
But falling in love with Eddie Munson is hard.
They're supposed to be friends after Vecna. They're supposed to be friends, but Steve can't get past what Eddie did in the Upside Down; how he put himself in a position to nearly die, how Dustin got hurt. It's not fair. He knows it's not, but it doesn't make the anger go away.
Eddie's part of the group now, though, and Steve won't leave him out, no matter how angry. They're all at movie nights, at pool parties, at Hellfire, at Corroded Coffin gigs. It's just that Steve and Eddie don't speak. And Steve is okay with it. If it's what it takes to make sure that they're all hanging out together, not talking to Eddie is a small thing. He's pretty sure Eddie doesn't mind. At least, he seems as uninterested in hanging out with Steve as Steve is with him.
It doesn't need to be anything more than that, and it isn't, not until Steve goes upstairs to get more sunscreen during one of the pool parties, and walks back downstairs to find Munson waiting for him in his kitchen.
"You need something?" He asks, unable to fully hide the way he jolts with surprise.
Eddie twists the rings on his fingers, something Steve's noticed he does whenever he's nervous. "You have a problem with me, Harrington?
"No, of course not," he answers too fast.
"C'mon, man. You can barely stand to be in the same room with me."
"That's not true! We're in one together right now."
Eddie rolls his eyes so hard that it has to hurt. "Don't do that. Don't pretend like you don't know what I mean. You can't stand to be alone with me for more than thirty seconds."
Steve splutters, searching for a plausible reason.
"Is it cause--" Eddie swallows, hand going back to cup his neck. "Is it cause you heard me tell Robin that I'm gay? Back at the hospital. Is it because--" he cuts himself off.
Something in Steve's chest clenches hard, warmth swooping dangerously in his stomach. "No," Steve says, means it. "I didn't hear. I didn't-- it has nothing to do with that. It's--that's cool. Thanks for--yeah, that's cool."
Eddie's smile is a brittle little thing. "Then, what else?" Eddie pulls a chunk of hair over his mouth. "I can't think of any other reason you'd hate me so much."
"I don't." And Steve hopes it's coming off as genuine. "I promise."
He can't help remember the camaraderie, the understanding, that started to grow between them in the Upside Down. The "don't cha, big boy?" of it all. They could be friends. They should be.
They shouldn't get into it. Not right here, not right now when the kids' splashes and excited screams filter through the sliding door.
"You're a shit liar, Harrington."
"Ed--I'm not--"
"You know what? Don't bother. I'll just--" He jolts in the direction of the front door.
"Don't be stupid, Munson."
"God, I can't believe I didn't see it before. You just fucking loathe me."
"I do not. Grow up."
"Oh, yeah? Then what's your problem?"
"There isn't--"
"Stop lying!"
"You didn't fucking think!" He shouts. Loud enough that the noise outside cuts off. "You pulled that shit in the Upside Down and you almost died! Dustin got hurt!"
Eddie blinks his big brown eyes in stunned surprise.
"I told you, I said, 'dont try to be cute or be a hero or something.' And you know what you said? Do you?"
Eddie won't look at him now. "I had to make a choice, Steve."
"It was the wrong one!"
"I would do it all again. No matter what you say. I would do it to draw the bats away. To protect Dustin."
"But you didn't."
"There was no other way to stop them, Steve! They would've gotten through, into Hawkins."
"It doesn't matter."
"You weren't there! You can't tell me--"
"Yes, I can! I know."
"You don't! You think--"
"I almost lost you!" He screams. "You nearly died in my arms, Eddie. And for what?"
Falling in love with Eddie wasn't easy. It was blood and near death; it was weeks in a cold hospital room while Eddie existed in a drug-induced twilight state; it was agonizing convalescence and physical therapy and changing bandages; it was Eddie leading dnd sessions with bright eyes and contagious enthusiasm, herding the kids to the arcade and video store, theatrically serving snacks at movie night; it was festering, senseless anger at the near loss of something.
Eddie's lips tremble. "Steve, I--"
"It doesn't matter." He turns away to slide a hand down his face in an effort to wipe away the emotion. "You're fine and we're--it doesn't matter."
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "Steve, I'm sorry. I wanted--I thought it would help. I thought--"
And Steve has to admit, he does, the whole terrible contradiction of it all. "I know," he whispers back. "I would've--I know."
"I thought I was protecting Dustin. I thought I was buying you guys time with Vecna." Eddie's voice breaks. "I didn't--I--" He squeezes his eyes shut.
In the quiet of the kitchen, they gravitate to one another, foreheads resting together.
"I should have been there, Ed. I shouldn't have left you two alone. You almost died, and I--"
"Sweetheart, I'm right here. We're right here."
They don't kiss, but they're close enough that their mouths brush with each breath they take.
"Don't do that, again." Steve clenches his fists into Eddie's cutoff t-shirt. "Promise you won't ever--"
"I promise, Stevie. I promise. I'll be by your side until the very end, whatever it is."
#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#ficlet#angst#angst with a happy ending#getting together#falling in love#protective steve harrington#oblivious eddie munson#mutual pining#steve harrington is bad at feelings#not quite rivals not quite enemies but a secret third thing to lovers#it's angst but then it's sweet#we're all traumatized here
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oh man. theoretically in a l4d au luis would've helped develop the green flu yeah? sure it's a naturally occurring virus in l4d canon (maybe. we're not really sure where it comes from cus ceda doesnt say shit but ellis mentions the government using bio-bombs in one of his keith stories so it could be a bioweapon?) but this is an au we can do what we want.
anygays im just imagining leon getting infected. we know better-safe-than-sorry-guy (i call him scout cus his va is the same as scout from tf2) is human when we first find him but experiencing extreme paranoia and some compulsions then a few minutes later he fully turns, going from able to speak and function to choking and growling and fully mutated (either into a hunter, boomer, or smoker) so there's always the possibility of a rapid transformation too. im thinking leon falling behind a bit while theyre walking because he's coughing and chokin and shit n he falls to his knees and luis is all like "bro whats wrong!!" and he gets to watch as leon Turns Before His Eyes. even better if he turns into a hunter cus if you look closely at their models they don't have eyes. we can't be exactly sure what Happens to their eyes when they turn but the two most popular headcanons are both equally brutal-- either Luis has to watch Leon's eyes quite literally melt out of his skull or he gets to watch him claw his own eyes out. Fun!
BUT there's graffiti in one of the safe rooms arguing over how long it actually takes to turn-- whether it's 20 minutes, 2 hours, overnight, or some other wacky chunk of time. so there's also the thought of Leon turning slowly. progressively becoming irritable and irrational and confused and him slipping in and out of conciousness for days until Luis goes to check his temp one day and he fucking Lunges.
and if leon turns and luis makes it out alive imagine the Guilt. he feels awful enough in re4 canon when there's a cure,,, but the green flu mutates too often to develop a proper cure for it. if leon gets infected and he isnt immune then he's just. done. theres nothing that can help him at that point. and luis already feels so goddamn guilty about the millions of people he's killed and now leon's gone too and he cant help but visualize every single person who had somebody ripped from them by his hands.
oh man and if luis has to put leon down? its joever. that man would Never recover. i dont even know if he'd keep trying to survive at that point. maybe just for that shred of hope of developing a cure (even though he knows it'd be damn-near impossible but it's the only thing hes got, dammit) and stopping this whole disaster.
coughs. sorry for the rambling i simply have been obsessed with l4d for going on 12 years now so <3
I had to lay down for a moment bc of the feels and potential outcomes in the event luis lives on while leon well...yeah (thinkin abt how buddy from re damnation would jus turn as well since leon is no longer there and that made me big sad dgkrnekhbfgnjklh)
Since the re verse has like morbillion viruses, the green flu existing would be plausible so its just another stonks moment for umbrella lol. But yeah luis would absolutely be devastated. He probably doesnt have the guts to pull the trigger, least he can do is to restrain leon for a while and tries to find whatever humanity he has left in his nonexistent eyes.
Tho in my witch!leon hc I think luis may have a chance to keep leon around??? Since witches seem to have the most humanity among the infected (and thats not saying much) he could probs observe him a lil bit without getting eaten right away. It would just be a warm bodies scenario ngl (i just watched that movie recently so this is huge copium dksfghbshgndfh)
Honestly Im glad l4d fandom still alive after all these years. That game will always be goated and it was one of my high-school obsessions. I used to do crossover stuff back then and Im back to doing it now. Time rly do be a flat circle
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First Time For Everything
Pairings: Peter Parker x Male!reader
Warnings: blowjob
Summary: Peter gets a blowjob for the first time, didn't proof read this
FEMALES DNI. (Fyi, I do check blogs and you WILL be blocked.)
Imagine any Peter lol
A/N: (I'm making 2 smuts this one and another one that will be posted at the same time I just want to see which one will get more attention lol) Also sorry if its bad im still trying to get used to words I dont usually use
You and Peter were laying on his bed doing things on your phones. Peter was wearing a dark green long sleeved shirt and some sweats. You were wearing a hoody and in pajama sweats in the covers. You guys were really paying any mind to each other just enjoying each other's existence. "Holy shit babe, did you post this on your instagram?". Peter asked you. You looked over and saw a picture of yourself wearing a nice, yet kind of revealing outfit that you posted a few days ago. "Oh yeah, I posted that like 3 days ago. Are you just now seeing it?'. "Well yeah.. I haven't been on social media in a few days because I don't wanna get too addicted to it."
You looked down and saw a small tent in peter's sweats. "Hold on.. did my picture seriously make him hard?". you thought to yourself. As he starred at your picture in awe, you tapped on his shoulder. "Hey babe... uh you got something going on.. down there." You pointed towards is sweats. He looked down and his face immediately became red. "Oh shit. oh my god thats embarrassing." He said trying to cover up the now obvious boner he had. You laughed a little bit, "Baby, it's fine. I don't care that you got a boner over looking at a picture of me." "No, its not. It's embarrassing". "Well the boner doesn't seem to be going away... Do you need me to help you?"
"What did you just sat?" Peter asked in a confused tone, wanting to make sure he heard that right. "I asked if you needed me to help you with your boner." "Like... a blowjob?" "Yes. a blowjob." "Erm.. I don't know M/N, you don't have to. Plus it's my first time getting a blowjob." He told you shyly. "It's fine Pete. Hey, first time for everything, right?". you smirked a little. "alright fine, you can help me. Only if you're okay doing it." You didn't respond to him, you slithered your way down to his crotch. "Okay.. I'm taking that as a yes." You slowly pulled down his sweats, leaving his underwear on. What was the fun of it if you weren't gonna tease him a little, right?
You started kissing and stroking the tent that he had. "M/N... stop teasing.. that's not gonna help it go away." You stopped your teasing and finally pulled down his underwear. Once you fully pulled it down, his dick smacked you in the face a little bit. You were in awe. You knew Peter was somewhat big but you didn't know he was that big. "Like what you see?" Peter asked you, laughing a bit. You grabbed his dick and started to stroke it slowly, slightly licking his tip. You started off slow by putting his tip in your mouth and slowly trying to make your way down his dick. You could hear his moans.
Slowly but surely you started going faster and faster. This was your first time giving someone a blowjob so you tried your best to replicate what you saw in the videos. Peter grabbed a chunk of your hair and slammed your face into his dick. Tears began to form in your eyes as you tried your best not to gag. "Fuck M/N!" You could tell he was getting closer because his moans started to get louder and louder. Soon enough you could feel a salty liquid in your throat. You tried your best to swallow as much as you couldn't keep it all in your mouth. Peter let go of your hair and laid his head on the pillow, trying to catch his breath. You licked all the cum off his dick and pulled his underwear and sweatpants back up. "I hoped that helped you." you said kissing his cheek. "It sure did."
#peter parker x male reader#peter parker x male!reader#male reader#malereader#male!reader#peter parker#tom holland x male!reader#tom holland x male reader#peter parker smut#smut#gay#mxm
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this is not a happy post
apologies in advance, especially to anyone who followed me coz of my various gifsets; i know this kind of thing isn’t what you’re here for.
i’m unfortunately prone to a venting a lot and lengthily when my depression, anxiety and self-esteem issues get the better of me. most of the time, im feels-vomiting on my twitter, mostly coz i havent used my tumblr quite as regularly as i used to 6, maybe 7 years ago. i’m mostly doing this here now coz i feel like i need the writing momentum to not be stilted by having to click the “add new tweet” button over and over again.
so. i’m turning 35 two weeks from now. and it is getting to me, possibly because of the situation that the pandemic has kept me in for the past year and a half, maybe because 35 feels like a milestone adult age, maybe because turning 35 means 40 is right around the corner. and the closer my 35th birthday is, the more i’m plagued by thoughts of where i am now, where i’m probably supposed to be as an adult, where i wanted to be, and the thought that i’m just never gonna be good enough to not be who and where i am now.
in feb 2020, i started my new job as the digital marketing manager for a pair of upscale hotels, the biggest deal of a job i’ve ever gotten since i started working in late 2011, and the biggest paycheck i’ve ever signed on for too. for the first time in a long time, possibly in forever, the few big dreams i had ever had for myself seemed to be attainable; it felt like they could become goals. a solo trip to japan, getting a place for myself instead of living in the family condo, growing my collections, maybe having an actual social life, those kinds of things seemed within reach.
and then, literally a month into my new job, the country went into lockdown, and legitimately has never come out of it. my work situation changed drastically, to the point where i ran up both of my credit card bills before the year was over (i literally only just got one of them fully paid off last week, and only because my sister was a HUGE help), and i was living off the limited family funds and relying on dad to take care of me. i had a freelance client for a handful of months, only for them to drop me without word at the end of our contract, leaving me without a chunk of the only funds i was making on my own for a while. i’m now working sporadically at my regular job, with a significant cut to my paid hours and therefore my paycheck, but the tasks list just seems to grow longer with each task that i check off of it, leaving me overworked and underpaid (but of course,i know im not alone or special in this, some people have it far worse than me and i’m grateful that i even have a regular work schedule, even if it does look the way it does). im 260 lbs., wearing size 22 or 24 clothes, somewhat sickly and prone to constant painful gout attacks that make it difficult for me to walk, living in a condo unit owned by family because they’re letting me live here, making only a third of the salary i normally should at work without the panemic, subsisting on junk food and softdrinks (it’s an addiction) because much of my money leaves my wallet and goes to paying bills and loans as soon as the money comes in, alone, unloved, unlovable, as prone to hyperfixation as i’ve ever been, and putting up with constantly re-attaching bromides and instax pics that keep falling off of my recently completed anime wall.
i’m 34 years old. i’m turning 35 in two weeks.
you know who else is 34/35 this year? the local barangay captain, a member of the local govnerment unit, who was one of my classmates in grade school and high school. a few years ago, i had seen a tarp across the street advertising her local work-out and yoga classes.
i’ve always hated the question “where do you see yourself 5 years from now/10 years from now/in the future?” because i’ve never been able to truthfully answer it, even when i wasnt an emotionally unstable mess (which was all the way back in elementary). i close my eyes and try to imagine it, and nothing ever comes up. i’d like to think i have an active enough imagination to have been able to write fanfic a lot back in the day, so you know it’s bad when i can’t even imagine a lofty future for myself. at this point in my life, i can’t even say “just simply alive” because i truly don’t know if i will be, i don’t see it. that’s fatalistic, maybe, but i really have never been able to imagine myself living to 40, let alone past that. anything i want for myself remain dreams, things i dont deserve because im not thin, pretty, smart, cultured, skilled. and the closer i get to 40, the less of that already non-existent future i see.
and it’s just depressing, you know. like. it’s already so hard being depressed about and hating myself WITHOUT this added thought of “you are only growing older and fatter and are headed literally nowhere and everyone your age is far more responsible and mature than you could even dream you’d ever be” mixed in there too. maybe this is just me beating myself up and being my own harshest bully, but what’s stopping me from believing that i deserve this bullying of myself by myself, lmao.
i dread every birthday. i stopped dreaming things for myself a long time ago. these are all things i just know i can’t and won’t ever live up to, because i’m just this useless sack of potatoes rotting away in the corner of some barn while everyone else is finding some use for themselves and able to make lemonade out of their own lemons, and stuff like that. and yet knowing i’ll never be those things or have those things makes me sad. for someone with a laundry list of negative things about myself i’ve just learned to accept so i can somehow function, having that list sure does make me sad. and it probably shouldn’t, if im so resigned to all of this, but maybe that’s just what happens when you hate yourself - there will always be a reason for you to hate yourself.
oh, and i think i’m coming down with carpal tunnel in my left hand. great.
#Mango Goes To Jail#long post#sorry this is kinda depressing#i just needed to vent#im feeling myself slipping into Yet Another Depressive Spell
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you know im kinda not all that happy about aphobia as a whole being labelled discourse like. my identity isnt discourse. its an actual bigoted thing? the huge surge of people from 2014-StillGoingOnActually wasnt some pithy thing. it was a huge fucking chuck of people moving from harassing and silencing other marginalized LGBT+ identities to arospec/acespec people and trying to push them out because they didnt fit that picture perfect of the LGBT+ community. (more below)
and to people who dont have to deal with it its just discourse? are you fucking kidding me? so an entire chunk of people aside from only the most stubborn of us still around get harassed into silence and treated like we’re assholes PURELY BY EXISTING in LGBT+ spaces and told we don’t belong anywhere and we’re not marginalized while they continue to abuse and harass people because its some big fucking joke at our expense.
yeah tell me all about how you owned the 15 year old kid discovering their identity for the first time and being happy they arent alone because they dare to be earnest about their interests and dont act like its cringy to be themselves. im sure you’re going to get a pat on the back for keeping the invaders out of their own community and taking away YOUR resources.
(which is bullshit because if you did care you’d focus more on making more of those resources implying they are a scarce commodity that’ll cease to exist than bullying that aro person making a positivity post but i mean alright.)
just how many of you cry cringe culture is dead and then turn around and make fun of other people who dont fit your idea of an LGBT+ person. its happened with bi people being excluded, trans women being excluded, its happened with nonbinary people, its happened with so many other identities but all of a sudden its ok because its those ‘cringy arospecs and acespecs?’
just because our identity is defined by what we dont feel it doesnt make us any less LGBT+ and you dont get to hide behind your identity and treat other people like shit. terfs dont get a fucking excuse, biphobes dont get an excuse, and so you shouldnt either. own up to your shit. bigotry is fucking bigotry no matter who its from.
#aphobia#exclusionism#acespec#arospec#REGs#hollow speaks#also exclusionists are also often ableist/racist/transphobic or outright deny people's gender identities as well
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MORE INCORRECT QUOTES WITH MY MOOTS
ft: @catchmewiddershins @lilikags and @paradise-creator // no haikyuu boys this time
Pauline: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this?
Wid, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga.
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Pauline: We're having a baby.
Shiyu: Oh, congradu-
Wid, slamming adoption papers onto teh table: It's you, sign here.
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Pauline: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Shiyu, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Wid, whispering: Because I have little hands.
Shiyu: Because they have little hands.
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Wid: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
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Lili: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.
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Wid: Pros and cons of dating me.
Wid: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Wid: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-
(cons. you're the smart one😔)
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Shiyu: Sure, you're verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?
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Pauline: Theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids.
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Shiyu: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!
(*lipbites in 166 cm*)
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Wid: I don't dab. I stab.
(nOw WhEarE HAvE i SeEn ThIs BeFoRe)
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Shiyu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.
(t-pose to assert dominance)
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Shiyu, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because...
Shiyu, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.
(lmao baby nacho really be bold)
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Shiyu: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.
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Lili: It's not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.
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Pauline: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.
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Pauline: All of your existences are confusing.
The Squad: How so?
Pauline: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.
(we are the squad now)
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Lili: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.
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Wid: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
Wid: I need my socks.
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Pauline: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.
(yes yes you are how dare you)
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Shiyu: Yeah I'm LGBT.
Shiyu: cuLt leader.
Shiyu: God hates me personally.
Shiyu: cowBoy hat.
Shiyu: *sniffles* Trying my best.
(my asexual ass be like;)
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Wid: *plays shreksophone*
Wid: Woo.
Wid: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity.
Shiyu: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend
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Shiyu: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Pauline: Killed without hesitation.
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Pauline: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.
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Pauline: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.
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Pauline: I hate Lili.
Shiyu: "Hate' is a strong word.
Pauline: I have strong opinions.
(oh no)
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Wid: How does that even work?
Shiyu, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?!
Wid: Your face doesnt make sense.
(...fair enough)
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Pauline: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!
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Pauline: My stomach growled super loud in French.
Pauline: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
Shiyu: Bonjour.
Lili: Le growl.
Wid: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.
(reminds me of the 'ill speak french between your legs' tumblr legend and im wheezing)
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Shiyu: *tapping fingers on table*
Lili: *taps fingers back furiously*
Wid: …What’s going on?
Pauline: Morse code. They’re talking.
Shiyu: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -
Lili: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
-----------------
Shiyu: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Wid, Lili, & Pauline: Okay.
Shiyu: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Wid: Bold of you to assume I have money.
Lili: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Pauline: Bold of you to assume I can die.
(pauline is a goddess. goddesses cant die)
------------------
Lili: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
Wid: Strong.
Shiyu: Weak.
Pauline: An idiot, is what your are.
(as long as you dont flinch or scream youre strong. unless you get punched in the gut by someone like ushijima ofc)
--------------------
Shiyu: Those darn tall old people.
Wid: Darm em' indeed.
Pauline: Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough.
Lili: *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead.
The Squad:
Lili: Hahaha.
Lili: ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?
-----------------
Wid: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Pauline. They're mad at you.
Pauline: No, it's Shiyu. They're just being gramatically correct!
*meanwhile*
Shiyu: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.
Lili: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.
Shiyu: I stand by my choice.
------------------
Wid: What do we think of Shiyu?
*pause*
Lili: *sighs* Nice pal.
Pauline: I think they're gay.
=------------
Wid: Where is Shiyu?
Pauline: I'll do you one better, who is Shiyu??
Lili: Here's a better question, why is Shiyu?
(i dont know man. ive been trying to figure it out for the last few years)
--------------
Wid: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake?
Wid & Lili: One, two, three-
Wid & Lili: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks!
Shiyu: Our turn, Pauline! One, two, three-
Shiyu: Vanilla!
Pauline: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?
----------------
Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Wid: A doll.
Shiyu: A cinnamon roll.
Lili: A sweetheart.
Pauline:
Pauline: ...stop it.
(cant deny the truth bby)
---------------
Wid, Pauline & Shiyu: *screaming*
Lili: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Shiyu?!
Wid: Wait, why are you asking Shiyu that when Pauline and I are also here?
Lili: Because Shiyu wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
(i mean... its true )
-----------------
Pauline: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.
Wid: Fucking Shiyu and Lili were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.
(manifests dvalin cause i wanna ride on their back and fall off)
-------------------
Lili: Wake me up-
Wid: Before you go go
Shiyu: When September ends
Pauline: WAKE ME UP INSIDE
(cant wake up- WAKE ME UP INSIDE)
--------------------
Shiyu, watching Pauline & Lili panic : What's going on?
Wid: Pauline is having a midlife crisis and Lili is just having a crisis.
--------------
Lili: *Gasp*
Pauline: wHAT??
Lili: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?
Pauline: *inhales*
Wid, in another room with Shiyu: Why can I hear screeching?
(shiyu: same shit different day)
----------------------------
Shiyu: Christmas is cancelled.
Wid: You can't cancel a holiday.
Shiyu: Keep it up, Wid, and you'll lose New Year's too.
Wid: What does that mean?
Shiyu: Lili, take New Year's away from Wid.
--------------------
Pauline: So, are they your friend or...
Lili: They’re like Wid, but if Wid was ordered to be around you.
Pauline: Oh, so Shiyu.
Lili: Precisely!
(if its about how annoyed i always look then you ahve a point)
----------------
Wid: You’re just being paranoid. Again.
Pauline: When have I been paranoid?
Wid: Um, when you first met Lili you thought they were an undercover cop…?
Pauline: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera!
Wid: And last year you were sure Shiyu was a mermaid!
Pauline: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?!
*Later, when Pauline’s theory is proven wrong*
Wid: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Pauline: I still think Shiyu is a mermaid.
(id gladly be one)
--------------------
*Wid drunkenly wanders around the manor and Lili is drunkenly giggling*
Shiyu, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Pauline.
Pauline, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*
----------------
Wid: We need to distract these guys.
Lili: Leave it to me.
Lili: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Pauline & Shiyu: *immediately begin arguing*
(*pulls out dictionary*)
------------------
Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Shiyu, with Wid and Lili behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes…three.
Shiyu: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Shiyu: Pauline FUCKING FELL OFF!
----------------------
Wid: What is love?
Pauline: An emotional minefield.
Shiyu: A neurochemical reaction.
Lili: Baby don't hurt me.
(BECAUSE FUCK EMOTIONS)
--------------------
Pauline: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Wid: Put spaghetti in it.
Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Lili: Put spaghetti in it.
Pauline: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Shiyu: Put spaghetti in it.
Pauline: I am no longer taking suggestions.
------------------
Shiyu, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Pauline: Gray.
Lili: Grey.
Shiyu, turning to Wid: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Wid: Dark white.
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THE ANALYSIS OF JOHN B ROUTLEDGE
In the fandom, what I've seen is a lot of what I feel is misinterpretation of John B's character, which is leading to a lot of unnecessary slander, and overall a negative vibe surrounding John B, and giving a negative wave of backlash to those who do like his character. I am all for positive emotions, and supporting and liking and disliking whatever characters you'd like! Though, I would like to put this out here just as a way of explaining what I've seen in his character. This is not a professional opinion by any means, but I do have a habit and (ringing my own bell) talent in analyzing different characters from an unbiased point of view.
DISCLAIMER: All of this is not fact, but a closely analyzed opinion. You are free to disagree and I genuinely do not care if you don't like John B! I wrote this because I wanted to and feel it could help. And this is written FOR JOHN B. Don't hit me with comments of “but JJ also” or “but Kie didn't MEAN to” or anything, because I am not writing about them. I’m writing this one for John B, about John B, and how someone would view life through his eyes and with everything that happened.
Now, onto the analysis.
Episode 1:
John B has a wave of issues being presented in not-so friendly forms. A 16 year old is living alone, considering his father has been missing for 9 months. Looking at it that way, he's had to finish his school year while juggling constant jobs to take care to himself, for food, gas, and paying bills, on top of school. Even if it's revealed he missed a lot of school that year, it's hard to blame him. His mom left him when he was still a baby, His uncle by definition also abandoned him, and his father is gone. He's threatened with foster care daily, which means he would lose everything that he has, his home, and his friends, which are the only thing keeping his head above water.
That alone is enough to give him intense abandonment issues. Both parental figures left, his guardian is as he described it “MIA”, so his ability to process how people see him and how he sees relationships is going to be, at best, rocky. He's going to have it in his head that everyone around him can leave at any time and he won't have any sort of say in it. Not to mention the depression and the anxiety that would bubble up from all of this. Depression makes you lash out, anxiety makes you pull away, two things he's shown to have trouble controlling.
He gets an idea for a way to try and make his life better, and get money to support himself, JJ being the one to hype that up despite Kie and Pope being against it.
Come the party later that night at the boneyard. A widespread party with lots of people there, lots of drinking, and comes the fight between Topper and JJ, which led to John B stepping in to protect JJ.
This is the first of many times where John B is almost murdered or killed. Hearing Topper yells “dont make me drown you like your old man”, then being drowned by him, while everyone stood and watched until JJ went off his shits and saved him.
This? Is all just the first episode. A peek into the curtain of how his family abandoned him, then he gets his shit beaten in, and he gets drowned by Topper. This would only worsen his already fragile mental state. At this point, he's ready to call it off, and leave it alone, but JJ gets desperate to help his friend and himself, and he goes along with it. This leads to, again, him getting shot at by the two guys hunting down the compass he stole off the boat. The second time John B is almost killed.
“With no parents, no money, and no one looking out for me, I've got no chance, unless I make it on my own.”
He sees no way out of the hole he's in anymore unless he fights tooth and nail to get out of it, no matter what it takes.
Episode 2:
In this episode, he's got it in his head now that since he found a compass on a wrecked boat, that his dad is trying to reach out to him. When you have abandonment issues as deep-running as John B, any possible chance that someone who left already is trying to come back? You run with it. You cling to it like it is all you have, and for him, it is. This compass is all that he has to go on, and he's desperate to try and figure it out because this is his fathers last way of communicating with him.
He goes to Ms. Lana's house, and has to both watch and listen to two men terrorize her, and he is told vaguely by Ms. Lana that it is horrible that he has the compass. He returns home to talk to his friends, and goes to his dads office for the first time in a long time, and has to relive the fact his fathers gone at that point.
Only for the two guys to come to John B's house. They break in and completely ransack the place, they steal a good chunk of John B's fathers stuff. They have to sneak out of the window and go to hide until the two men leave, but, he has to sit and watch these people break apart his home and steal from him.
After all of that, they go to the lighthouse, where he's thrown into another panic over this compass that no one is telling him about. He's frustrated, and he's scared. They leave the lighthouse and in a complete blind instinct of adrenaline, he kisses Kie, and gets rejected by her. Then, he gets arrested, questioned, and has to get bailed out by Kie's dad, who insults him. Now Kie won't talk to him, and he has to go home to his damaged house.
He also has to get fired from hi only stable job, so now he has no money and no job, a damaged home, and lost a friend for now.
Not only that, but he does get hunted down by those two men again, and is almost killed for thr 3rd time, and runs through an electric fence, where he's almost killed the 4th time. He gives up his fathers compass, and while ull of hurt and despair for everything, returns home to try and move past everything, but he catches another glimpse of possibility, and he clings to it all over again.
And, his urge and crave to hunt down his dad only grows as they find the Redfield tomb thingy and find the package left behind by Big John.
Episode 3:
It starts off with John B having to sit through the emotion that comes with hearing his fathers voice for the first time in 9 months. The pain and the confusion and how much he missed him rushing back, it's a feeling that is hard to describe, but it is draining, and it doesn't feel good.
He talks to everyone about how he just wants to have a normal life, and stop stressing so much about damn near everything.
He's decently up in this episode, but his actions only worsen. He encourages stealing, and puts himself into risky situations. This is the bud of the suicidal/reckless tendencies he starts to develop as he starts to lose regard for his own safety, because subconsciously, he sees no point in caring about what happens to himself and those around him. This is where he gets desperate for a reason to keep existing, because he lost every other one that he had.
Episode 4:
In this episode, they find the merchant. They track it down and find it's empty, but John B isn't ready to give up.
He gets met, unfortunately, with DCS, who force him to pack, and start to take him away. In an attempt to not leave behind anything? He jumps from a moving vehicle, and is now being hunted down for the first time.
He's taken in by Sarah.
DISCLAIMER: OPINION.
This is where we see Sarah see that things with John B aren't cookie cutter. She knows hes plotting something, and she wants to get away from her Kook life and do something different and exciting. So, she tags along for the ride. Her and John B go out and Sarah puts John B into a situation where he is being led on by her, despite her being in a relationship. But, her desperation to break from her box gets the best of her, and John B clings to that romance, because a romantic relationship has a more solid foundation than a friendship to him. They're less likely to leave him. So, he wants to run with it.
This is a huge part of why he kissed Kie. In his eyes, if he's dating them, maybe they wont leave, but he can't have that same situation with just a friend. He knows that, and this is where he starts to push away his friends. Bite before you can get bitten, it's depression + abandonment issues 101.
Episode 5:
This one is.. a mess. Its a mess.
We start right off the bat with John B realizing that he can't go home anymore. JJ and John B get into a pretty nasty argument. JJ is concerned for his friend, and he wants him to be safe and stop all of this, naturally, but to John B? He hears JJ trying to give him on him, to abandon him, and to leave all of this. He reacts to this by lashing out at him, yelling at him, and talking about how he just wants to stop because he got beat up. Which, John B is still under the assumption it was just the Kooks, when it was both the Kooks and his father – something John B didn't catch onto. After they yell at eachother, John B has JJ following him again. It's a safe zone once more in John B's mind.
Then, after the party is crashed and they all meet up, John B tries to explain that Sarah got wrapped up into all of this. He has Kie, Pope, and even if JJ knew already, he's not too happy about it either. So he's got everyone mad at him for this, and even if spirits are high in terms of his recklessly driven hunt, he sees everyone around him getting angrier, and angrier. And that? Is making him angry too.
He goes to meet Sarah at the hawks nest. And once again, he is almost killed. He's shoved off of it by none other than Topper (who has tried to murder him twice now), and plummets, and ends up in the hospital.
But things can start to turn around, because Ward took him in and he has a legal guardian now, right?
No.
Ward is plotting to keep John B under his nose to make sure he doesn't find anything else out.
Episode 6:
Again, not much happens here. Things seem to be going good and despite Wards want for John B laying low, he doesn't. He finds the gold.
Episode 7:
Here, we have another instance in which JJ's bad ideas get John B (and everyone) put into danger. After trying to pawn off the gold, they get stopped by Barry, who threatens to kill him and robs them. John B is quick to jump into the line of fire and get the gold back, desperate to keep it. He succeeds, but JJ barrels into Barrys house and robs him. JJ manhandles John B a good few times for trying to stop him.
And nearing the end of this, he's told by Ward that Ward knows about the gold, and wants John B to give it all up.
John B says no. He's gotten this far and can't lose it all to Ward. Not only that? But he finds out Ward had something to do with his father disappearing. That sort of news is heartbreaking. John B snaps just a little more, but so does Ward.
Episode 8:
John B and ward get into it. Ward is messy and doesn't hesitate to try and kill John B while they're on the boat. Again, for the 7th time, John B is almost killed, but escapes it just in time to keep going.
He goes to Lana, who explains that Ward was the one who killed his father. He finds out now that the man he trusted and the man that took him in both wanted to steal from him, and murdered his only parent? That's too much to carry for any one person.
Ward tells authorities John B tried to kill him, and he's being hunted down even more than he was before.
He sees now that again, all of his friends are both worried and angry with him. He's panicking at this point. He's stuck on the run and can't seem to catch a break, more so now that Ward figured out where the gold is, and sees him trying to leave with it.
Episode 9:
John B now is framed for the murder of Peterkin. He's almost killed by Rafe at the runway, and is now on the run again. He's facing major charges and none of them are of things he actually ever did.
John B has no choice but to run away from the OBX, from the US< and try and figure out what to do with himself from there.
He's almost killed by Rafe, again, because he set the bell tower ablaze.
But he manages to escape long enough so everyone can put together the pieces of his escape plan.
Episode 10:
He leaves. He leaves with Sarah on the boat, but of course, power has to go back on, and they lose their cover. They're both hunted down, chased out to sea, and is considered dead because of the storm. He survives again, but just by the skin of his teeth.
Looking back on everything that happened to him just in these episodes, on top of knowing he had to deal with his father being gone for months without a clue of how to take care of himself, plus the fact he's now headed for his gold without anything but one bar and the clothes on his back?
John B quite literally lost everything. He lost his family, his home, his friends, his job, everything that kept his head above water, yet, he's expected to be the strong one, and the leader of the group.
He has expectations that he cant meet, and he's getting the wrong kind of help for his issues. Depression, anxiety, trust issues, abandonment issues, and I wouldn't be surprised if various forms of PTSD stemmed from everything that's happened to him. In no way is John B a perfect person. He is a flawed and complex character, who made poor choices, and acted out in bad ways, but, the entire gang is guilty of doing some bad things too.
JJ's aggression and lack of impulse control.
Pope's passive aggression and constant cold shoulder to not getting what he wants.
Kie's hostility and lack of self restraint.
Topper's sexism and abusiveness.
Rafe's drug abuse and abusiveness.
Again, you are so more than welcome to dislike and like whatever characters you want! Though, I hope this point of view can help clear up some of the thing's ive seen on John B being irredeemable and a bad friend to everyone.
John B is a wonderfully written, intense, lovable character, and I wanted to share my thoughts on him, his trauma, and his life! If anyone wants to see more deep character analysis', don't be afraid to request them! I enjoy doing them!
- jv
#outer banks#obx#john b obx#john b#john b routledge#john booker routledge#jj maybank#pope heyward#kiara carrera#rafe cameron#topper thorton#sarah cameron
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Frieza for the character ask, please. I want to know if there's something you like!
Give me a character and I will answer:
Why I like them: I tend to divide all of Dragon Ball canon into two sections: the part that’s about Dragon Balls, and the part that’s about Super Saiyans, with DBZ Episode 66 as the dividing line. And Frieza’s original run as the main villain (Episodes 44-120) straddles that line.
He’s basically a bridge between those two themes. He starts off as a villain gathering the Dragon Balls to extend his rule, much like Emperor Pilaf or Commander Red, but he’s so insanely powerful that it almost doesn’t matter if he makes his wish or not. The only thing that gives him pause is the possibility of a Saiyan uprising, except there’s only a handful of them left in the universe, which means the only way they could threaten him would be if one of them suddenly became the strongest Saiyan in a millennium.
My favorite aspect of Dragon Ball is that it keeps raising the stakes. Vegeta was presented as the ultimate threat, and then it turned out that his boss is the strongest guy in the universe. And he’s treated accordingly. It takes forever to defeat him, mostly because it’s a lot safer to sneak around and avoid the guy, and when a final confrontation happens, no one has the necessary power to finish him off.
Somewhat understandably, a lot of fans think of him as the Final Boss of the Dragon Ball mythos. Goku becomes a legendary warrior to defeat the strongest guy in the universe. How do you top that? A lot of fans think that it was a mistake to try, and I’m pretty sure that’s where a lot of this “Toiryama wanted to quit after the Frieza Saga” mythology came from. What they’re really saying is: “I think Toriyama should have quit after the Frieza Saga, and I assume he agrees with me, because I respect him so much, which must mean someone forced him to continue.”
But I think that’s bunk, because Toriyama’s best work was built on Frieza’s vaporized corpse. How can you keep a martial arts epic going when the hero is stronger than the strongest person in the universe? Toriyama took that as a challenge. The androids could be stronger than Frieza because they hadn’t been built yet when Frieza was riding high. Cell and Trunks could be stronger than Frieza because they’re from the future. The Supreme Kai and Dabura were stronger than Frieza, but they don’t count because they’re from other realms beyond the “normal” universe. Majin Buu could be stronger than Frieza because he’s from the distant past. He’s been hidden away in storage for so long that no one remembers him. Same deal with Beerus literally sleeping through all of Dragon Ball and DBZ. And guys like Jiren and Hit are from whole separate universes. All Toriyama had to do was avoid introducing some ultra-powerful character who had been active during Frieza’s lifetime. The only one that springs to mind if Cooler, although he admits in Movie 5 that Frieza had an edge over him throughout their rivalry.
So I like Frieza for being that big milestone character. Guys like Cell and Majin Buu wouldn’t work as well without a Frieza to set them up as extraordinary challengers.
Why I don’t: The problem with Frieza is that his importance to the franchise has led to him becoming overrated. He’s got this 70-episode run as the main villain, but he spends most of it sitting in that goofy chair and literally refusing to do anything, even while his soldiers keep messing up. When he finally does take matters into his own hands, he holds back, apparently because he wants to torture his opponents as much as possible before finishing them.
People give Goku a lot of shit for showing mercy to his enemies, but no one ever seems to notice how Frieza could have wiped out Goku a hundred times over and just... didn’t. At least when Goku does it, you can say it’s because he’s too nice, but what’s Frieza’s excuse? There’s a lot of big long chunks of the Frieza Saga where literally nothing happens because the good guys are too weak and Frieza’s in no particular hurry to end it.
By contrast, you have villains like Buu, who really don’t waste time like that. He started killing people and while he wasn’t in any particular hurry, he didn’t drag it out either. In less than 48 hours, he destroyed the whole planet. That’s service.
I cannot stress enough how Cell is the superior villain compared to Frieza. The only lull in his run was when he declared a truce to allow his enemies to prepare for the Cell Games, and they were free to attack him during that time if they wanted. And there was a point to that. Cell had no particular agenda, so he decided to arrange a rematch with the Earth’s fighters.
But when Frieza wastes time, it’s for plot reasons. He’s just really lazy and unmotivated, or maybe he’s just incompetent. But the wider fandom sees this jackass and goes “RARRR BEST VILLIN 5EVAR!” Nah, he sucks.
Favorite episode (scene if movie): For my money, the coolest thing Frieza did was when he came back as a cyborg. He kept trying to declare victory in his fight with Goku on Namek, even after cutting himself in half, and then Namek explodes on him and he still won’t let it go. His dad finds him and after a long convalescence he decides to go to Earth and fight Goku all over again.
What makes it so awesome is that the cyborg parts are a silent testament to how monumentally stupid that idea is. All this guy had going for him was his top spot on all the power level charts, and now he’s lost that and he has no idea how to get along without it.
And this is why I hate the idea of bringing him back from the dead, because there’s nowhere left to take this character. He lost on Namek, and Episode 119-120 was just his last-ditch effort to defy reality. He doesn’t know how to survive in a world where he’s not the top dog, and he doesn’t survive, that’s the end of that story. Bringing him back just repeats the lesson, only without the cool cyborg parts to remind us that this never works.
Favorite season/movie: I guess Frieza Saga by default. It’s got some great moments in it, but it gets really thin in places.
Favorite line: “Peace? I... will... never... know peaaaace!” Or words to that effect. Whatever bluster he shouted at Goku when he tried to take that last shot at him before Namek exploded.
Favorite outfit: The cyborg look.
OTP: I guess he has the hots for Yamcha, so let’s go with that.
Brotp: Yeah, right.
Head Canon: Between the lore in the Bardock TV special and “Dragon Ball Minus”, I get the impression that Frieza is concerned with legends in general, not just the one about the Super Saiyan. I say this because in “Father of Goku”, he sent Bardock’s crew to conquer Kanassa, and the only apparent reason for this was because of the rumors of their psychic abilities. Frieza was likewise intrigued by the Namekian regeneration ability. I think in at least one translation he expresses some envy of Nail’s power, implying that he would want to find some way to acquire it for himself.
What I’m getting at is that Frieza’s so powerful that the only things he has to worry about are things that may not even exist. The Kanassans were probably no threat to him, but he may have considered that they could be, so he wiped them out before it could come to that. Or maybe his staff discovered a tale of the Kanassan planet being the source of their powers, so he decided he needed to control that planet before his enemies could use it against him.
Same deal with the Saiyans. in DB Minus, I got the impression that he’s got a whole team of researchers who check up on local folklore. Maybe they do this everywhere he goes, and he uses this intel to decide which planets live or die.
Unpopular opinion: Frieza’s main contribution to the Dragon Ball franchise was to provide useful genetic material for the creation of Cell, the true best villain.
A wish: Hit and Majin Buu kill his ass and Grand Zeno, Great Priest, and Shaggy Blanco all hold a press conference announcing that he’s dead forever and can never come back, no matter what. He gets sent to the same turbo super hell they have in Supernatural.
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Please don’t do any team ups with old villains and have Cell take orders from Frieza. That sucks and it shouldn’t happen.
5 words to best describe them: Final form is a corpse.
My nickname for them: LOWARD FUREEZA.
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I Am Not Jealous!
Pairing: George Weasley x reader
Setting: Takes place in Goblet of Fire - twins are in their sixth year, reader’s fourth
Prompt: The reader gets jealous when another girl flirts with George
Request: Hi hi! I absolutely love your writing. I was wondering if you can do numbers 3 and 6 with George Weasley where the reader is Ron's age and yeah
A/N: Hi Love, thanks so much for your support! I hope you like this ♥
Word Count: 1304
Warnings: A little angsty
Masterlist | Fandoms | Submit A Request | Support my blog ♥
[gif is not mine]
It wasn’t very often at all that you got jealous. More often than not, Fred and George tended to hangout with each other more than other people. They had friends of course, but you knew all of them.
According to Ron, apparently this girl named Angelina had taken a liking to George. Being that you were two years younger than the twins, you didn’t have any classes with them, so you weren’t able to see how Angelina and George interacted in class - if they did at all.
You tried not to let it bother you that some girl liked your boyfriend. It was normal - he’s a wonderful guy, it’s no surprise that other girls would take a liking to him. For the rest of the day, your insecurities flooded your head. Angelina was an older girl, surely prettier and could give more to George than you... You found yourself growing more agitated as the day went on, the lack of George’s presence looming over you.
Finally, the next tournament was being held today and you joined the others around the docks to watch the Champions get ready. You bid Harry good luck alongside Ginny, worried about the disappearance of Ron and Hermione. George was nowhere to be found either, minutes before it was set to begin, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was hanging out with that girl.
“Cedric!” You shout, making your way over to the older boy. You weren’t exactly friends, but dangerous events like this made you want to say something encouraging to him. He turns and smiles when he meets your eye, a few people between you guys. “Good luck!” You shout over the crowd of people, holding a thumb up to him. He raises his own hand in a thumbs up over the people before turning back around when Dumbledore began speaking.
You followed Ginny to somewhere slightly less crowded to watch, searching for her brothers in the process. “Where the bloody hell is everyone?” You mumble. Eventually, you spot a tall red head making its way through the crowd and recognize it to be Fred. “Finally! Exactly where have you been? Where’s George and Ron?” Ginny demands, sounding a lot like her mother. Fred raises his hands in defense and laughs at his little sister.
“Georgie was just behind me... Dunno where Ron is. With Harry?” Fred asks, making Ginny smack his arm.
“Harry’s in the tournament, dummy!” She shouts. You finally spot George making his way through the crowd toward you guys, his red mop of hair easy to spot over all the other people.
“There are loads of people out!” He shouts, slapping his brother on the back when he gets over.
“Have you seen Ron or Hermione?” Ginny demands. George shoots you a lopsided smile before shrugging at his sister.
“No. They’re not with Harry?” He asks, making you giggle under your breath. Sometimes they were very oblivious.
“Bloody hell! Harry’s in the tournament! How would they be with him?” She shouts angrily.
“I’m sure they’ll turn up, Ginny.” You assure your friend, getting shoved by some students in front of you as everyone begins clapping and the horn blows. You turn in time to see all the Champions dive into the water - Harry more or less being shoved. An arm over your shoulder distracts you and you glance up to see George hooting and hollering along everyone else.
“Where’ve you guys been?” You ask once the noise dies down. George looks down at you and shrugs, leaning into you with his arm secure around your shoulders.
“Moody gave us detention for giving Shamus Puking Pedestals. The lad blew chunks all over his desk, it was golden.” He laughs at his own story, rubbing his thumb over your arm. You are about to comment when you spot what looks like blood on his other hand. You are quick to lift up his right hand and examine it, looking for injury.
“What happened to your hand?!” You shout. There isn’t a lot of blood, just a little over his fingers and palm.
“What? Oh, ew. I guess I got her blood on me.” He explains, removing his arm from your shoulder and moistening his left fingers with spit, trying to wipe away the dried blood.
“Whose blood is that?” You demand, utterly confused.
“Angelina Johnson’s. She cut her leg on one of those big rocks, I helped her clean it up.” He shrugs, continuing to try to wipe the stained blood from his hand, not looking at you as he focuses - missing your face dropping. So he was with her.
You don’t respond, crossing your arms over your chest as you absently watch him, your mind racing as you try to swallow your temper.
“Ew, mate. You got her blood on ya?” Fred asks, watching his brother from his right side.
“Yeah, bloody hell this is spelled on me or something!” He groans, giving up and dropping his hands. He finally looks back over at you and takes notice of your sour face. “What’s wrong?” He asks, furrowing his brows.
“Nothing.” You mutter, looking out into the lake for any signs of your friends.
“George!” You hear a female voice shout, catching your attention. You look up in time to see none other than Angelina Johnson waving over at George from a few people away. You roll your eyes as Fred and George wave back at her, his attention stolen away from you once again.
“So you’re friends now?” You ask, thankful that she did not come over to you guys.
“Hmm? I guess so, don’t know her well. Why?” George asks, looking back down at you. “What’s with the glum face?”
“Nothin,” You repeat, unwilling to confess that you were jealous of the older girl.
“I think she’s jealous, Georgie.” Fred comments, getting a shove in the ribs from Ginny at his remark.
George studies your face before breaking out into a grin.
“You’re jealous?” He presses.
“I am not!” You shout, a little harsher than necessary.
“Aww you are! Why, Love?” He asks, tossing his arm back over your shoulder. The people in front of you move away slightly, probably annoyed with all your talking.
“I am not jealous, George.” You mumble, crossing your arms further into your chest. He pulls you closer into his arm and laughs.
“Okay, okay. Are you not jealous because I hung out with her?” He asks. You shoot him a glare before huffing.
“You know she likes you right?” You demand, finally meeting his eye.
“No way!” Fred exclaims, shoving his twin’s other shoulder. George shoots a look at his brother before returning his gaze to you.
“Who told you that?” He questions, actually becoming serious for a moment.
“Ron. He overheard her talking telling Cho.” You explain dryly.
“Oh... Well, so? I don’t fancy her.” He shrugs, acting bored. “I got you.” He smiles. Your heart lurches slightly and your cheeks heat up.
“You sure? She’s really pretty-” You start, but George raises his hand, stopping you with a dramatic serious look.
“None of that! I only fancy you, Y/N. You’re stuck with me!” He exclaims, lowering himself slightly to your level and placing a bunch of kisses all over your face, finishing with a sweet kiss to your lips.
“You’re such a child.” You tease, grinning up at your dorky boyfriend, wrapping your arm around his torso and leaning into him.
“That’s why ya love me!” He giggles, ruffling your hair lightly. Fred pretends to gag and Ginny smiles over at you from the other side of Fred. Clapping erupts around you as Viktor resurfaces, losing his shark face as he brings Hermione up onto the dock. “So that’s where she was!” Ginny exclaims. Leave it to that trio to get into trouble.
---
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i gotta talk about Narrative Telephone
I. Fucking. Love. It.
when my extreme dislike of second-hand embarrassment takes a loud backseat i can fin so much that i love about it.
but what i love most isn't the humor. or even the continued critical role content. no, i love the allegory and the metaphor of the whole concept.
all my life i loved the concept of watching time move forward. seeing evolution, hearing language change, watching cultures rise and fall. but what i dont like is time and the fact that im along for the ride. id rather watch evolution, not be step 48801 of a process with no end. and sadly most media and general public doesn't like watching time change. no one wants too see how the English language evolves with a rise in Spanish speaking folks and pop culture creating new idioms and words. everyone would much rather watch something with the same animals with the same people walking the same cities speaking the same language, albeit maybe with a few more neon lights and holograms to make you feel like its in some vague ~future~. but narrative telephone gives me the change i like to see. i can finally feel like im watching a story going through the times and changes of a culture.
im gonna need to explain a little more. what better way than to show off all the current episodes.
episode one is simple, pumat and the big bad wolf. the sorry starts with pumat on a stroll through the woods. he finds a talking wolf and they fight. the story ends with the pumat eating a nice mushroom and wolf stew. but the changes to the story are what get to me. i love ashley, trust me i really do. but in this context, she’s basically the dark ages. everything crumbles and the story follows in the crash. this point is when the more brothers grimm tales and nonsense folklore are added in. people dont like the night, so the seen changes to match. suddenly the wolf not only speaks, but has a beak! the fighting through being somewhat vague in the original story now is lost to time and is none existent. taliesin builds off it, changing it ever so slightly from a garbled to a more of a warning story. a story that reflects a change in a cultures thoughts on the woods. when everything was all writings and giant building the woods where just a place to rule over and harvest, but after the fall now its returned to the unexplored. the place of fey and monsters that should never be explored at night. marisha adds winter and gives it just the smallest bit of added context. a man in the woods during night before might have been seen as mad or crazy, but a man scrounging for some mushrooms in a dead forest in winter isnt tempting fate, he’s struggling to live. a shift in view also makes it so that the beaked magic wolf is just as weakened by the winter, and is easily turned away by just a voice. sam is..something. if ashley is the dark ages than id say sam is like a renaissance. specifically a very drunk renaissance. the kingdom was risen and is filled with hubris and pride.its gained a very “man falls for his hubris” greek vibe to it. pumat has gone from scavenging to walking unbothered by cold dead winter. the kingdom has lost its enjoyment of strange creatures, monsters are still around in legend, but most have been replaced with magical people, with a clear rise in “person in an animals skin” tropes. the original fight has been mostly lost, now the story is that of a magic hunter who eyes the mushrooms taken by pumat and gives a chuckle and permission to continue exploring the woods unimpeded. pumat eats just the mushrooms, which now have gained the lupine taste, and the vague description of “he became something more” giving the idea of some sort of curse for his nature. Laura has added back the wolfs anger, but removed the suspicion of pumat. the curse is still in the end of the story though. this could be a change into more of a forbidden fruit trope. because pumat still trusted strange mushrooms in a dead forest with a magic guardian, he paid the price. travis is a sort of close to modernization of the story. its the point in time when its nonsensical nature and magic was viewed as weird and convoluted. similar to when we look at older myths with long intricate plans and think “nice story, but poor pacing”. liam goes for the “granddad telling stories by the fire” vibe. the tale has died down and is being co-opted for new use. now the rather dark tale has turned into more of a children's storybook with messages like not to trust strangers and to not do drugs being tagged on.
ep. 2: jesters ability to say 1000 words a second. pickadors plume is a story in a story. a story about gaining a treasure through a complex and detailed series of events with lots of loaded lore about the world with no clear description of what the treasure truly is. liam is the first few generations. the generation close enough to the original to try and remember, but not enough to keep every detail. the best example is of the ending, where the treasure should be. humans love rewards, so a story with a vague reward isnt enough for people. in liams generation transition to the griffon, travel, and fruit specifically being the treasure begins to lay its foundations. since this is already so long i will also mention that the transition from stone shaped like a heart ---to----> stone shaped like a hut could be an example of a changing dialect and language. sam, travis, and marisha are clear evidence of a shift in culture. jesters complete backstory wasnt introduced till now. and in it comes the cultures want to explain this event. humans love simplifying, but we also love to describe things. if we want to, we will add words just as much as we remove them. the dialect changes just as much. the new word of “schtupping." has either replaced or become a synonym of the word fucking, the name of the plum as even changed too. the treasure has gone from “lost to time” to “there is treasure, i just wont name it”. but fret not, for the mystery aspect is still in the story. for now everything will disappear like it never happened, or did it? though travis specifically specifies that you keep the treasure. humans love rewards, it was gonna come back eventually. matt is the sorta an enlightening moment in the society. at the very least its the point in time where people who know geography and history say “wait, that layout doesnt make any sense”. taelisan and ashley are the beginning of the end. the slow fall into the dark ages. the story becomes vague and small. slowly becoming more of a statement and less of a story. the society is forgetting large chunks and its bleeding out into other legends. there maybe a sort of thanksgiving/ christmas sort of event spawned from or because of the myth, but the story itself isnt going to live every far (hence why its ending in a dark age and not somewhen else)
Ep. 3: boy do humans enjoy rich’s, love, and drama. sam’s story comes from a society that warns against wanting what you wish for without expecting some strings attached and features a evil ruler to boot, just so they can date the legend. the story of a delivery boy who invents a pair of glasses to see through objects and uses them to win rewards and gives them all to a rich woman that only loves him for the money, and really loves the prince. matt changes the story so the two are already in love. but also changed it so that it was the greed of the prince and the wife that lead to the heartbreak rather than the delivery boys naivety. travis changes delivery boy from a clever inventor to just already owning the glasses. both matt and travis with there respective fictional cultures are showing how humans like to remember the stuff they liked in a story, so when they forget when something specifically came in, they just fill in the blank and assume its always been there. travis specificaly begins the stories slow march to a less heartbreaking story by adding a joke to help give the couple a more flushed out relationship. this is also the shift in cultural perspective. the antagonist began his life as a evil prince, but now is simply a rotten neighbor. this could mean the myth was co-opted to fit a better role, possibly after the removal of monarchy or just of a specific bloodline.the rich wife becomes just the wife, no money involved. this is also the beginning of what a full fledged re-write of the story. now the delivery man has gone from giving up to still being in love with the wife and now even standing up for himself. (possibly a mix of when the story was of a prince and used to promote the common folk to rise up against the kings, leading to the theory of a removal of the crown). ashely...oh ashely. this moment in history atleast solidifies the love between them, and even brings back delivery husbands inventor skills. liam is the slow clawing climb back up out of the collapse. he’s still very much in the collapse of the kingdom. but aleast its just before when begin to solidify into the new meta of the era. laura and taelisin’s era is a complete re-write after the collapse of the society. the focus has moved to more of a folk-hero style legend about rising above through theft and cheating (could mean that after the collapse the culture around theft changed from crime to fighting to survive. the antagonist has really changed from being the bad guy to just in the love triangle. the society seems to agree with every polyamourous person when we all say “this how drama triangle could have been avoided if you guys all just got together”. marisha’s only real change a more modernization from “specticals” to “goggles” and that the culture either wants to make half-orcs feel more inclusive or just really dont like goliaths and changed it.
ep. 4: deargodfinallyigottheneedtowritethisoutofmysystemsoletsspeedrunthisshit. liams story is an analogy for the horrors, pointlessness, and sacrifics of war. but over time the story shifts from a “we did this to ourselves” narrative to a “an outside force did this to use”. this shifts the goal from a need for peace to a need to protect everyone for the sake of the many. ill write more later but dear god i my hand might fall off soon
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stupid project
peter parker x reader
requested: no
word count: 1999
hey guys give me notes on what i should fix so i can get better thanks
_________________________________________________
what does life mean? what is living? i ask myself that everyday. why am i stuck in this crazy world? “y/n, y/n hello. earth to y/n” i hear snapping out of my thoughts “yes peter” i look over to him sitting in his desk tapping his pen to his mouth. “we have to get started on this paper” the nerdy friend of mine rolls his eyes and sitting back in his seat. i let out a sigh.”Pete i know but i dont wanna its stupid and annoying and” i stop and look at peter confused. He is looking behind me and back at me like there was a bug in my hair. i was about to say something as the blonde teacher slaps two detention notes on my and peters desk. as she walks away.
he whispers “really y/n again” this was the second time this week. “sorry lets get started” i reached for the instructions on peters desk and he stops me. “you know i could just do it later” he scratched the back of his neck. why would he say that. does he not think i can do this. know this is our last grade of the year and peter dont believe in me “no” i say with no emotion in my voice. “but y/n-” “no” i cut him off and snatch the paper from his hand and write down what i need to until i get cut off by the bell. i grab all my stuff together and leave as quick as i can before peter can say something to me.
why would he? as i walk down to the hallway to the bathroom to skip my last class i bump into his friends. “oh hey y/n” Ned says waving. i ignore him completely, trying to hold back my tears running to the bathroom locking the stall. he dont trust me. why am i reacting like this i should be mad i should just brush it off. the bathroom door opened and i lifted my feet up so no one sees me in here. “y/n are you in here” mj says. the footsteps get quiet as i dont respond, looking under the door i see her shoes. they are boots with little chains on them her shoelaces are mismatched and she knocks on my stall door. i dont answer looking around the stall. ‘school sucks’, ‘BLM’, ‘spider man is soooo hot’, were written on the stall wall with different handwriting and colors. “y/n are you okay” she knocked again. “im fine mj just ate something that messed up my stomach” i wiped my tears and pulled down my hair to fix it so my puffy eyes arnt noticeable. As i put my feet down from the toilet about to unlock the door she slides a drawing under my stall. “i know thats not the reason that your in here maybe this will cheer you up, and y/n if you need anyone to talk to girl to girl call me my number is on the back. and if its peter i will kill him. i will let you be but for real text me i am here.” she says walking out of the gross bathroom. the door shuts and i grab the paper. It is a dawing of me and peter. it looks like it took months to finish and i flipped the paper over and it reveled her number. I've known peter for years we have always been the bestest of friends until he met mj and started to hang out more with them. ive been alone most of this school year. in the begging of the class he wouldn't talk to me or look at me or anything. it was like he forgot i existed. i got cut off from my thoughts as my phone lit up buzzing. i opened it to see peter texted me.
Pete: y/n are you okay?
Pete: please answer me
Pete: do you wanna come over and do this project after detention? we can listen to your fav music and watch movies afterwards?
my fingers tap out a message ‘no i dont want to i just wanna go home you dont even tr-’ no i shouldn't say that. i tap on the screen erasing the message i try again ‘sure Pete meet you by the buses’ i type out.looking at my screen for a minute. he will probably just bale on me like last time. so dont get my hopes up. my thumbs tap on the send button.
Pete: okay meet ya, are you coming in the next class?
my face gets all red. i forgot i had two classes with him how stupid ill just tell him im busy or something. ‘no i got called to the office for something dont tell teacher’ i type thinking it was a great excuse. i reach for my bag and grab out my sketch book and flip to an empty page. as my pencil sketched away the rest of the school day peter wad in class writing my notes for me until the bell rang.
After the bell rang i got out of the stall reaching for my bag of makeup going towards the mirror. I see black running down my face and fix it. i get out of the bathroom and start walking to the detention room. Maybe it wont be as bad i thought it would. “y/n over here” peter calls sitting in a empty desk patting a spot next to him i roll my eyes and walk twords him. “hey y/n” peter waves and i just nod and sit down. as the hour of detention goes by peter looks at me time to time seeing me draw something in my sketch book. “hey y/n” he whispers and pokes my arm. i look at him. “i have to do a quick thing before we head to my house okay so just wait for me” he says nervously. “ok” is all i say before the teacher looks at us. The rest of the time passes i get up to leave shoving my book into my bag and walking out to where the buses would usually be. i wait. putting headphones in i play Shawn mendes. listening to music waiting for peter.
As time goes by to 30 minutes to an hour to two hours to three. i get up from my sitting position. he ditched me again. i feel tears hit my cheeks as i start to walk home. walking turned into running hearing leaves crunching under my feet. music blasting in my ears. why. he is probably with mj or Ned. why do i trust him. why did he pick me for the project. why would he. tears getting stronger. running not home just anywhere. my feet taking me wherever they want until i reach the woods. there was smoke and pieces of metal everywhere. i wipe my face looking to see if anyone needs help. moving pieces of metal and wood and i see a blue and red piece of fabric from far away. i run to it..the person is trapped under a big chunk of metal. “s-spider man?” i question. realizing its him the hero himself. he looks over and sees my puffy red face and coughs a little not being able to talk. i look at him more closely he is all beaten up and dirty. he has holes in his suit and some hair poking out of a rip on his head only revealing the color of his hair. “can you grab a pipe and lift up the metal please” he says trying to deepen his voice. “o-oh yes of course” i say grabbing a big pipe almost to heavy to pick up and shove it under the metal. i try to push it down but it wouldn't budge. so i stood on it and jump and as soon as it lifted a little he managed to push him self out.
“thank you ma’am that i have no clue who is at all” he says in his deep weird voice as he nervous laughs. i furrow my eyebrows and nod “sure Mr spider man who saves the world” i laugh copying his obviously fave voice. he just sits there in silence and i turn on my heals to walk away “wait” he says in a familiar voice “i mean wait” he cuts himself off in a deep voice. i stop and turn around waiting for him to continue. “who ever you are running from he will come back just give him time” he says in his deep voice and starts to limp away and lift his arm up and start swinging away. what was that about and what was that terrible voice. and why did he seem so familiar?
I start to walk home forgetting about peter. after hours i get home seeing no car in the drive way. “looks like its a late night for me” i say under my breathe unlocking the front door and stepping inside. i throw my backpack on the ground and take my shoes off. my body hurts but i still manage to get up the stairs and going to my room. as i lay down on my bed my phone rings. i look at it. ‘Pete’ it says buzzing in my hand i answer it
“what peter” i frown into the phone disappointed and sad.
“y/n i am so sorry i ditched you i was leaving and i got a call from my boss and i had to come in im-” i cut him off “peter its okay down worry about it goodnight” i say about to hang up
“wait can i come over i can explain everything so much better” he says nervously “ i guess peter” i say hanging up. ten minutes has passed and i hear a knock at my door. i run down stairs and open it to see peter. he has a big coat on with black sweat pants. he has bruises all over his fave and cuts. i gasp and grab his face “ OH my god peter what happened are you ok let me clean you up” i say grabbing his hand bringing him towards the bathroom “y/n im ok its just a scratch” he said squeezing my hand softly. i stop “i swear if flash did this i will kill him.” clenched my jaw, opening the bathroom door and making him go in and i close the door behind me. “no y/n it wasn't him i promise but i do have to talk to you” he says grabbing the rubbing alcohol from my hands. “well what is it peter? if it was about ditching me we can talk about it later let me-” he cut me off by unzipping his jacket showing me his suit “y/n im spider man thats why ive been ditching you someone very dangerous was out there today you helped me get out from under scrap metal today y/n” he says pulling out his beated up mask from his jacket pocket and looked at me.
i was just standing there looking at him in shock. “y/n?” he says “you are spider man?” i say in shock “yeah im sorry i didn't show up after school and been treating you differently” he said holding my cheek “parker is spider man” i smile “ i knew it” i giggle “your man voice is funny” i say looking into his eyes. he leans in “y/n” he licks his lips and looking at your lips and back to your eyes. “hm” i say leaning in to where our lips are almost touching. He kisses me passionately as i kiss back holding onto him. i pull away for air and i say looking in his eyes smiling...
“ive always loved you parker”
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persona 5 royal: my thoughts after finishing it five minutes ago
disclaimer: the only reason im writing this is because 1) i have a lot of thoughts and feelings that i need to write down and if i dont ill explode and 2) i want to be able to find this when p5s eventually drops so i can compare my thought processes. if you do not agree with what i’m going to say, that’s cool! just block me or ignore this post.
now for the sake of sanity, i’m going to try and narrow down this entire list into chunks because this’ll probably be very very long and very much about me just screaming about stuff that i liked, loved, and don’t like. i will be spoiling both the original persona 5 and persona 5 royal, obviously, so i hope you finished both!
1) Akechi
so yes. Goro Akechi. Everyone’s favorite murderer. I’m going to by spewing a lot of hot takes, and this is probably going to be the spiciest: i am in the most intense love-hate relationship with this brown haired antagonist because jesus christ is he a complicated son of a bitch. I know i’ve complained in the past about how much Atlus often struggles with utilizing a character well, but that does not at all relate to Akechi in any way, shape, or form.
I’ll say this now: He is a character I genuinely, truly hate, yet he is the one I want to hear from the most. He is someone who is a bad person (yes, he is a bad person) but whenever he comes on screen he makes me sit up, he makes me pay attention to him because that’s just the aura he exudes. He is a character who i would never, ever waste my time defending or justifying his actions, but every minute joker spends with him is a minute i want to stretch out as long as possible because he is just that good of a character. He is interesting, he is well defined, he is smart, he is clever, he is sassy, he’s a motherfucking asshole who’s never had a vibe check in my life and i still hate him. Goro Akechi is what Star Wars wanted Kylo Ren to be, and that allegory may not make sense to many people but it works for me so i’m saying it. It’s to the point where writing akechi in a fanfic makes me sweat because in my opinon capturing the essence of akechi is near impossible unless you know what you are talking about (i do not mean that in anyway to discourage people from writing him, im just saying that I am a coward because i will never be able to write a good akechi). Anyway, bottom line is: i despise him but my eyes are always glued to him at all times.
back to the main point-- Atlus absolutely nailed this character and every single addition they put in for Akechi. I’m so damn thrilled that you actually have confidant hangouts with him because every single time you talk to him, it services not only the plot, but it perfectly does what it is supposed to do: it makes you like him, but also leaves the player slightly unnerved. they do it so casually that I might have trouble explaining it, but bear with me: everytime you hangout with him, he always does or say something that unhinges you just a little bit, it leaves you asking ‘wait why?’ or ‘but how did you know that’ or ‘why are you saying that?’. akechi is constantly playing mind games with you. and not only that, adding backstory to akechi (moreso than in the original) is just fucking fantastic. he’s always been a fully fleshed out character but after playing royal, goro akechi actually exists in my mind, and i still hate him (but also i dont. but also i do. anyway)
2) the ending
just finished the game and this is the point where i am at odds with p5r for the first time. the ending to p5, in my opinion, was flawless; everything was perfect and had meaning. from the shot of akira being shown to not wearing glasses anymore because he no longer feels the need to wear a mask (character development: he was very unhappy at the beginning of the game and now he’s happy with his friends--i love it), to his friends being the one to drive him home (amazing, he left his home town and came to shibuya alone via transit, and one year later he’s now leaving with all of his best friends in a van they rented just so they could stay with him as long as they can--it’s perfect, i love it), and also all of them seeing how large and infinite the ocean is (because now there’s unlimited options for them because they all have a new perspective on life).
But....none of that is there in p5r. it feels impersonal. no one drops him off at his hometown, he was still wearing glasses, and there’s no grand metaphor about what they all achieved.
Now, i am not a (complete) moron. I know why they had to change it: it’s because of persona 5 scramble (i think). they wanted to set up a plot for the next game and i feel like thats the reason why persona 5 royal’s ending suffered for it: they were too focused on the next plot that they forgot to focus on the sentimental ending for p5r. don’t get me wrong, seeing akechi in the train station absolutely made me lose my shit and made me scream at one in the morning, but i think they lost the core meaning in doing the other stuff. i did not like the focus on maruki and kasumi (will be talking about them later), cause i feel like it took away from the ending, and i also didn’t like the fact that the whole joker outfit in the reflection thing (but i will be letting it slide since it was during the after credits anyway). So while i do love one (1) new aspect of the final cut scene, i still adore and stan the one from persona 5.
3) the entire last semester
i’ll be quick: the final palace? the best palace. fight me. it’s fantastic, it’s innovative, it’s interesting, and most of all, the palace ruler is actually the best one in the entire game and i know i wont be the only one to say this. maruki is not a villain: i know for a godamn fact that im not the only one to say that i almost agreed with his deal of allowing the reality (damn i almost agreed twice) because why wouldnt you?? it’s literally a perfect reality! the only reason i didnt agree is because i knew the game wouldnt want me to agree and would force me to have the bad ending! anyway, i love the last section so much. the palace design is interesting, the antagonist is brilliant (who doesn’t love a morally gray antagonist?), and finally, the payoff of kasumi happened and it made me silent for ten minutes. the entire reveal of her being sumire and kasumi being dead is just so genuinely shocking to me that it nearly broke my neck.
what actually broke my neck was the initial incident for the third semester. seeing everyone in this wild alternate reality made me so unsettled that i literally got a stomach ache. i saw morgana as a human and nearly passed out. shiho in the underground? wig. ryuji saying he’s on the national pedastal for running? literally my eyebrows just popped off my head. fucking WAKABA? FLATLINED. brilliantly executed and i love the initial akechi and akira buddy cop movie vibes in the beginning it was just so fun.
one huge part of the third semester for me though, was of course, akechi. seeing him completely throw away his ‘charming ace detective’ speil was the most refreshing and interesting and not to mention, hilarious part of the game. he does not give a fuck about anyone and he is not afraid to let you know. he is the biggest savage and the most insane person on the phantom thieves group. he’ll roast you, he’ll roast your boyfriend, he’ll roast fuckin anyone and it’s fantastic. not to mention his dialogue is killer: he says the most bat shit insults ever and my favorite example is when you go up to him near the end of the game, you know, to hangout with him and be a nice guy, he just does not hesitate to say ‘what, you came just to see me? just the sort of brainless sentimentality i’d expect from you.’ i LOVE IT because why the hell would he try to be nice? the jig is up, he’s got nothing to hide. and he owns it. atlus seriously nailed akechi in this last semester and it’s brilliant and i love it.
4) everything else
- one small thing that pissed me off in both games (but especially this one) is how many godamn fake out deaths there are. Morgana has one, Akira has one, Ryuji has one, Sojiro has one, Maruki has one, motherfucking Akechi has two. it just hurts me!
- sumire is an amazing character who has depth and she is lovely and my biggest complaint is that it feels like atlus shoved her in. like, she feels like a new addition to the game, you know what i mean? maybe its because ive played the original p5 first, but you know, it’s not a big deal. but i love her so much
- on the topic of sumire, i cant say that im completely super duper happy with how different she felt from the other thieves? im sure that’ll be explained in p5s but she just got so much screen time that it just truly made me confused?? maybe im just a horrible person, or that’s just a really hot take. but anyway, yeah maybe im bitter because i really wanted to see extra hangouts/school trips during royal, but didn’t really.
-baton pass? literally orgasmic. it made turn base battles so damn fun and the addition of darts and billiards made me foam at the mouth it was SO SMART AND INNOVATIVE AND I LOVE IT ATLUS I LOVE YOU ATLUS YOURE SO SMART SWEETIE
-small thing, but making spells like ‘dormina’ actually useful just made the game so much more fun and dungeon crawling became something i truly, genuinely looked forward to
-being able to give gifts to my bros? absolutely incredible. thank you. side note: seeing akechi happy from giving him a multi vitamin cracked me up. side side note: giving ryuji a fuck ton of weights and him just smiling made my heart so happy i love that boy so much
- ah this game just looked so GOOD! i thought the original looked good but they really went all out. im not kidding, the smallest details in everyday life or even just normal cut scenes were out of this world. especially stuff from the third semester its just OOF good JOB atlus i love you buddy
-ahhh thieves den! how can i forget? i love it. at first i was a bit iffy with it since it really felt like persona 5 (undoubtedly the biggest game atlus has created) was just jacking itself off. but as time goes on, it became a huge addition to the game and seeing characters’ insights and extra lines of dialogue became super duper interesting and a highlight of the game for me. and don’t even get me started on how much i love love love the photos they added of them hanging out! so lovely, a bunch of them made me tear up
- i know it’s literally impossible, but i feel like the game just forgot that akechi is a person who can wield multiple persona and i just wish that could’ve been messed around with during Palaces
- showtimes are so, so crazy and i get so embarassed whenever they play on my tv because they are just outlandish and unashamed but i love them so so much it just defines persona’s personality
-because i love ryuji: i prefer the final conversation you have with him aka ‘whaddya mean? you’re there’ but there’s still a lot of really tender and sweet moments like akira genuinely telling him that he’ll miss him, and also the fact that ryuji wants you both to send each other your times through the exercise watch so you can still race ahhhh i love him so much yall
so, overall, this game is better than the original p5 because of the extra content we get. if persona 5 was the perfect dinner, persona 5 royal is that same dinner and you get to enter the dessert buffet. it’s brilliant, it’s smart, it’s hilarious, it’s heartwarming, and it’s undoubtedly my favorite game of all time without exaggeration. while i do prefer the final cut scene (and final dialogues with some characters) in the original persona 5, in the overall experience, persona 5 royal is superior in my mind. i would willingly get amnesia to play this game again.
I didn’t get to cover everything, but this is definitely most of what i wanted to say. if you actually get to reading all the way to the end, thanks! it means a lot. i hope we can all enjoy persona and look forward to persona 5 scramble together :-)
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excuse the cropped weirdly pictures; my family/pet's foster parents are great at snapping a sneaky picture of me curled into an unattractively slouched (relaxed) fetal state. which i'm self-conscious about because it's an unattractive position for pictures even tho i am quite pretty (but they are also cropped because im just also private as hell, sorry lmao).
bonus tho: said pet is laying ontop of me, face buried in my shoulder, twitching in her sleep as we speak!
--- but anyway. onto the actual submission:
so yeah. i saw your post! i'm here to address your call for dogs. but i dont have anymore pictures of my dog, Cash. however, i do have stuff about my cat, Allegra.
i dont have any of them together cuz Cash lives at my family's house and Allegra lives in my apartment. and we're p sure he'd try to eat her and she'd scratch the hell out of him, so we don't try to let them meet. but, just like how Cash continued the legacy of us adopting another big slobbery dog with possessive seperation-anxiety, Allegra does fit all the criteria of those same personality traits we are such a beacon for. so i hope youll accept it as comfort nonetheless
here's a story about my cat who acts just like a anxious, cuddly, and slobbery pupper. i even bought her a pet ID tag that's shaped like a bone to honor that joke lmao) Allegra: "the honorary and tiniest mastiff" and named after the allergy medication
i got Allegra just this last year. she was a stray. now, for context: there are lots of outdoor cats in my neighborhood and they all hate strangers (they aren't feral tho, they have collars). but they all avoided my old house though because of Cash. so Allegra, newly abandoned, took advantage of that safety(?) by constantly hiding out around my family's house whenever she felt endangered
before that point tho, where i vaguely realized she existed but had no idea of what her strategy had been: i knew the cats of the neighborhood would run 15 miles away at the sound of people. but i am a small bean of cliches, so i always say "Hi kitty" anyway. even if them running away breaks my heart. and on that day, i was on my way to work for the opening shift, not early per se but i had enough time for starbucks if i wanted (and i did want) and i saw the vague mass of a cat on the lawn. predictably, i went "Hey kitty". but i also kept walking to my car due to said expectation of cats running and not wanting my heart to have that little break
and allegra did run. she just ran at me, full speed. i almost kicked this sudden HURLING THING in my peripherals like a football out of fight/flight + anxiety, except i have the aim of Charlie Brown so i thankfully missed her terribly. she was purring up a storm and crying pathetically. tho she's a Siamese, so they talk (read: complain) a lot anyway so maybe she wasn't crying. i always call her talking "crying" anyway tho cuz of the whiny pitch of it so such is a moot point. the real point was: she was ridiculously friendly
then, one morning, she was especially incorrigible. she wouldn't let me go into the car without her jumping inside too and kept scenting me, my car door, and all my equipment for this art class i was going to use for my presentation. a presentation that was a huge chunk of my grade that i couldn't be late for and Allegra was going to make late for. i had to trick her into thinking i was going to run away from my car, to which she zoomed ahead to cut me off, except i had actually done a fake-out and had really ran into the driver's seat and was already starting to slowly reverse out of the driveway. she had the sense to not go after a moving vehicle, thank god. my family texted me she cried outside our front door for hours later though. my art class that semester met once a week, so it was a 4.5 hour class that started at 7AM. and even tho that day had been a presentation day and we had less than 15 students, we still went over 3 hours. she cried during all of it. i used the "free time" to make sure i bought a cat leash and a cardboard cat carrier. but when i came back, heard no crying
i tried to get one of my neighbors to hold onto her for the afternoon. i couldnt leave her in my old house; i had family members i lived with who were terribly allergic. but i swore, so long as someone held onto her for my shift, i could take her to a shelter after. she was just so friendly and obviously new here, i just needed someone to put her somewhere safe (we lived by the freeway, by a train, by the main alternative to the freeway, and by two dog parks). but nobody really could hold onto her, so i had to hope she'd show up again when i came back from work. she didn't. i left her food out anyway.
i took her to the Humane Society Shelter closest to us because they have a microchip scanner. and she did have a chip! that was completely empty! apparently, that's a thing!! the guy there asked if i was going to keep her then, and i hadn't really thought that far. i had made the mistake of naming her and thinking she was cute, and she had done the legwork of being a cuddly motherfucker who purred constantly whenever i was around
she'd only ever appear in the early morning, when i was on my way to my shift or a midterm. about a week or two passed like this with me having no idea where she was for the rest of the day. turns out, according to said allergic family members, Allegra actually never left the house. she would hide on our roof or on our back porch's clutter or in our droopy lawn plants (like our sweetgrass) to hide from the outdoor cats or other dangers (she's a smart cat who hates the sound of cars and would hide whenever any one was particularly loud)
i'm pretty sure she's plenty well-cared for tho. in fact, i'm almost positive she's a very spoiled cat. for example, i have backups of everything x2. i have one of everything in my living area and a copy in my bedroom, should i need to close her in there when allergic family members are over (i also carry all the big allergy medication brands as a back-up in case i get a visitor who forgot to take their medication, which includes me being stocked with allegra the medication lmao) and then i also have a back-up of all her stuff in my closet should anything break. i always make sure all my windows are open when i leave for class/shifts so she can have "Cat TV" since birds do fly around the area. she has a ton of toys (she has a toy box actually) and i bought her multiple hideaways (like her shark pictured here; she also has a cactus that's pretty cute). also, ontop of having a good breakway collar, her microchip now reads my information. but yeah, im still working on the money to get her one more of everything for the house we visit for the holidays so i don't have to carry everything. i do a lot of research still-- on both cats and Siamese-- to make sure i am doing everything to make her happy, since her world is just me and our apartment now
i called out for her-- i had long since started calling her Allegra as a joke, because its a name of a popular allergy medication and so much of my family was allergic-- and shrugged sadly when she didn't come out. i had just put my stuff down to get my key out when i heard a familar crybaby. turns out, she had been sleeping in our sweetgrass and i had woken her up. she ran over and i called my family to take my things inside while i used the rest of my day to get her to a shelter. i put on a cat harness+leash before trying to out her in the cardboard box. don't buy cardboard boxes from Pet Co. they're shit. she broke out of it Alien style before i had even fully reversed out of the driveway. i had to improvise her leash into a seatbelt instead
but yeah. i say my favorite gremlin is dog-like because:
she has an overbite, so she looks like she's got her lip jutted out in a pout all the time. what's dog-like about it is this makes her slobber whenever she's excited or content (and i've grown up with mastiffs, who slobber so much you need 2 rags per room dedicated to their slobber)
hesitatingly, i called my only family member that was semi-local to see if he would be okay with fostering her until i was going to move (which was less than 6 months away) because, otherwise, i wasn't going to be able to keep her. and she was definitely going to be adopted immediately. he and his wife said of course, without hesitation. they were both huge cat lovers and they were, emotionally, my closest family members; so i had kept them in the loop about my cat quest. and they had already discussed potentially fostering Allegra, knowing my request was a possibility (read: probability). he drove over from his workplace to pick her up, with his own carrier, and drove the roughly 2 hours from our house back to his
she meows when people are at the door and greets them by begging for pets
she loves shoes. she steals my tennis shoes because she loves the laces and she will try to swat at them when im tying them. her claw getting stuck and forcing me to not continue has worked to make me late multiple times. but she also will lay down around my friends' feet and rub her face against their shoes, flipflops, and toes. one of my friends likes to joke that allegra has a foot fetish. she also can and will put her face into my tennis shoes and try to sleep like that. that's my bastard baby
i visited their house about once a week. except during finals, where i didn't visit for two or three weeks since i didnt have any exams so much as i had projects. (allegra was PISSED at me when i came back, my cuddly kitty refused to come near me and would run away when forcibly placed on my lap. she even swiped at me. by the next visit, she was grumpy but happier. by the one after that, everything was back to normal) i really liked visiting those family members too; it made us even closer. though it still annoys the male how much research i do about cat-care (as opposed to just accepting everything everyone tells me as gospel). i researched even down to "how to best pet a cat". i did this since, due to said allergic family members, i had never owned a cat and therefore didnt osmosisly process how to best care for one. i've also never been fully fauthful of people's advice that's based on "This is how we've/the media always done it". my history with mastiffs showed that not all breeds are the same and that you do have experts to utilize within your phone, and they are experts over peers for a reason. so i looked up dumbass questions like "how to best pet a cat" since i'm not an expert and Jackson Galaxy and friends are right there in my phone
she wants to play constantly. she loves tug of war the most, but anything involving chase has her going at full-speed
ive spoken to fellow cat-owners and mastiff-owners about this, and i thought this was interesting: when she isn't playing, she's sleeping. which is what mastiffs and cats do. and when i get up, she follows me. which is what our mastiffs do. and while i do stuff, she sits and waits by the doorway or else walks around my feet until i tell her to sit out of the way. which is what our mastiffs do. and then i go to sit down again, and she lays down as close as she can and goes back to sleep, which is what our mastiffs do. apparently, none of my friends cats do this; their cats just, at best, wake up to watch them leave and then their cats go back to sleep in the same place regardless of if they come back
Allegra likes to sleep at the foot of my bed for bedtime, at least for a majority of it
but, regardless if my worries, allegra seems happy! she cuddles with her claws out all the time (not sticking into my skin, just out) which is a sign of contentment. she'll also use her claws to keep me in place, like a fucking seatbelt (example pictured in post); it's where her claws will dig into the furniture and i cannot get up because of her, the possessive piece of shit. but she also gives me tons of Slow Blinks of I Love You. and she always runs to greet me at the door. and it's really funny how, anytime there's guests over, she tries to make it obvious that she's my favorite over (usually through politely tapping my leg with her paw to ask and recieve pets, and then giving everyone a very Cat Surrounded By Knives grin cuz i havent petted any of THEEEMMM lmao) she's hilarious
she doesn't like to be carried unless it means she's going with me somewhere outside the house. then she's as well-behaved as a chihuahua in a purse
she licks my hands all the time. and she licks my face to wake me up (at 4AM, Allegra, go aWAY)
she loves smelly clothes. the shoe part should tell you that much tho. for our mastiffs, we would leave them a smelly piece of clothing between washes to comfort via smell. Allegra, in a similar vein, was not impressed when i bought a laundry basket with a lid (almost carrying her to the communal laundry room once was enough, thank you!)
in the same vein as the clothes: she also loves blankets too. the more Me Smelling the blanket, the better (aka she doesn't like brand new blankets until its been like. month two or three of use). this is largely because i love blankets. but she kneads them, purring, even if im not using them. and when i am, she takes my using them as an invitation for cuddles
she sits whenever i tell her "NO" like 'who me? i was not doing a bad. i am but small creature'
she asks for a daily walk. she doesn't like the idea of being an outdoor cat. she just wants walks. like, she has lived several months not going outside and has been super happy. she made it clear on her adoption day that she was done with outside. she was perfectly content with being an indoor cat! still is, in a way! i ruined it. for myself. me. i was worried she wasn't being stimulated enough, so i experimented taking her on a walk and now i have created a monster. now she sits by the door and cries until i get out her harness and leash. which she hates her harness in a "no ball, only throw" kinda way. but she has also proven hates going outside alone since she is now ALSO scared of everything (remember those outdoor cats Allegra The Stray would hide from? how they would run away from strangers?? yeah. now that she has a Person, Allegra's turned into one of Them now). yeah.. she runs the fuck away (or as far as she can with a leash) from people she sees on her walks now. and it is pretty obvious she hates cars and dogs too, because when i have walked her outside of our new complex she is too petrified to move. like, she freezes even when just being close to a street. she likes our complex's janky carpeted hallways between the apartments, and she likes the ability to hide behind my legs. being an outdoor cat is something Allegra has decided she is not a fan of. if i try to change things up scenery-wise, she always asks to go home as soon as possible and runs into the apartment if our walks turn too much into what her life was before being adopted (aka. streets/cars, lawns, people walking). she wants walks. she LOVES and BEGS for walks. but not be outside. walks. even though she still hates her harness lmao
and that's Allegra! she's aproximately 2 years old, i've had her for less than a year, and she's assumedly a purebred Siamese cat. and she's also my ESA, or Emotional Support Animal. if applicable, a cuddly and loving pet is helpful for keeping mental health more stable. in my experience of getting one, it was fairly easy to get it permitted; especially a cat because they're super easy to get registered as compared to a dog. i am lucky enough to have regular physician as my doctor that empathizes with mental health and knows it not to be her area of expertise so much as the patient+their therapist (but also i have a history of attempted treatment on my medical record since i was 16), so my getting registered was literally just me asking for a doctor's note and her giving it to me near immediately. i can't take Allegra with me to classes or resteraunts or anything, nor do i even want to, but it forces apartments/hotels to HAVE to let me board with my ESA and to do so without an additional fee. however, i don't know if that's how ESAs work internationally or even in all of the states of America, the country where i live. but it definitely helps to have someone who needs me to get up everyday, who can never trigger me, who makes me laugh with their hijinks, and who cuddles with me regardless of if i have had a good day or bad day. Allegra is especially good at her job by being especially attentive whenever i am anxious. even if it's just me getting a little bit anxious because i'm late in turning an assignment in but have logically decided it doesn't matter because the assignment is only 2 points anyway, just turn it in late and don't focus on it; and she starts patting my leg almost continuously asking for pets inbetween rubbing herself on my legs. it's why i let her get away with never paying rent. i'm really glad she chose me. we both got really lucky with that decision ♡
i don't want to assume your situation, so i won't recommend an ESA for you so much as just remind you that they exist. i hope this all helps you feel supported and encouraged to continue to find the small wonders ♡♡♡
#I REALLY DO LOVE THIS#AND ALLEGRA#10/10 would die for her#Thank you for taking the time to send this in!#I really really am happy#i had like a real bad mental health day/week/year idk#so this makes me so grateful!#long post#not choices#shwarmi#cats#kitty#submission
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Heyooo this is too long for the message in the commission but I'm Dani who just bought you two coffees :) , I've been reading your fics and I really like them so instead of just sending a prompt I thought "I'll buy two coffees so can share with someone" ;) so here it goes! Married peter/ned (so around 24 yrs old?) , with NED being presumed dead (most or all of the fics have peter injured but never Ned which really? He's a soft human) so basically angst angst angst hehe (to be continued)
hehe idk maybe the world almost ended and lots of buildings destroyed (including their apartment) and/or the last time someone saw Ned was before tragedy happened idk i'm not really creative. But basically for a few days (or lots of hours) Peter thinks his husband is dead and he can't process/can't deal with the grief. Happy ending tho cause Ned was somewhere or just injured enough he couldn't contact him. Plus Tony/May being his support and maybe finding Ned in a hospital or whatever (tobecont) Anyways long prompt hehe I dont have any social media so just post it to your tumblr/ao3 and I'll check it out :) thank you! Love u lots
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and here it is! thank you for the prompt and thank you even more for the coffees! i am Struggling financially lmao so every little bit means so much
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not all tears are an evil
Teen And Up Audiences | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | M/M | Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) | Ned Leeds/Peter Parker | Peter Parker, (Mentioned Ned Leeds), Tony Stark, May Parker (Spider-Man) | Established Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning
“Peter, buddy, we found him.”
Read here on AO3 or continue below the cut!
His hands are shaking. He can’t get them to stop. Tony and May have made sure he keeps his sugars up, filling him with fruit and water every few hours. Peter eats and drinks whatever they give him, too numb to protest. He’s—he’s too numb for anything. He tucks his hands deeper into the too-long sleeves of the hoodie he’s wearing, nosing at the collar and taking a deep breath of the familiar scent.
The last time he’d caught the gleam of metal on his left hand, he’d had a panic attack.
The monitor in front of him plays the same footage over again. Peter doesn’t notice anything new. He’s been watching the apartment's security feed for...Peter isn’t very good with time right now, but his eyes sting every time he closes them to blink. Probably a while, then. His eyes flick to the other monitor when the video of his building exploding restarts again.
Nothing. There’s nothing there. No one leaves the building for the entire hour before the explosions begin, and no one leaves right before it’s hit and crumples into a pile of useless debris. Ned was at home, studying for a final he had coming up and begging off from the lunch date Peter had asked him on. Peter was only out because his internship with Tony had become official a few years ago, and he had to put in hours when he could.
They had been in the workshop, him and Tony, when the alarms had sounded. Peter wonders if he’ll ever be absolved of the guilt he feels for not being there, for not being in the apartment, for not being able to protect him when he needed him.
He doesn’t think so. Peter, Spider-Man, has failed before but...never like this. He’s never lost the one that means the most to him, more than Tony and May and his whole existence as Spider-Man. May’s worried about him even if she doesn’t say it. She hasn’t left him alone yet, not since they all got the threat under control and Peter had swung back to his apartment only to find it gone.
The next breath he takes shudders through him, but he doesn’t cry. Not after the night he spent sobbing into sheets that didn’t smell right in a bed that was too big and too empty. It hurts, everywhere, a crushing weight over his heart that feels like it’s going to swallow him whole until he’s nothing but grief and despair and longing.
He deserves it, he thinks idly. He should have been there. He should have gone home for lunch instead of grabbing something with Tony when Ned said he was going to stay in. In his vows, he had promised to protect him till death do they part, but he never would have thought...
Fuck, they’re only twenty-four.
Peter takes another deep breath and wonders when he’ll stop. It doesn’t feel right for him to be sitting there, heart pumping and lungs filling with oxygen when the only reason he has for waking up every morning is gone.
“Peter?” Tony’s voice cackles through the comm that is still tucked into Peter’s ear. He hums something in answer, watching the third screen that shows the alleyway behind his apartment as it gets filled with chunks of concrete and broken glass: the remains of his home. “Peter, buddy, we found him.”
“You...you did?” his voice cracks. The words seem far away, distorted. Peter can barely make sense of them.
“Yeah, Pete, and he’s alive we’re—” The rest is white noise that doesn’t matter as a sob bubbles out of his chest, a loud, broken noise that tears through his throat. May is there in an instant, hurrying into the room and tucking Peter to her chest, and she takes the comm out of his ear while Peter babbles something that doesn’t make much sense. He doesn’t try to listen to what she says, focusing on the familiar smell of her and the strong arm holding him close.
When she pulls away, Peter looks at her through eyes blurred with tears, gasping for breath as his chest splits back open wide enough to fit an entire lifetime worth of love he thought he’d lost.
“Peter, baby, they found Ned and he’s alive,” May tells him, hands holding his cheeks and staring into his eyes and Peter breaks down, another cry scratching out of his throat as he gives up and his body slumps forward into May’s arms. Peter doesn’t know anything but the crushing elation in his chest, and three simple words rolling over and over in his mind as he clutches to the only family he had for so long until he got down on one knee and asked for more.
They found Ned.
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buy me a coffee for a fic?
#lavenderlotion#mcu#marvel#ned leeds#peter parker#my writing#peterned#grief#mourning#angst#happy ending#fanfiction#fic rec#commission
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The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.
In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.
DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there.
DIRK: Didn't even die once.
DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record
DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing"
DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths".
DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again.
DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake.
DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin
DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on
DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced
DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea?
DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing.
DIRK: And people let me do that.
DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it.
DAVE: oh
DAVE: i figured you knew
DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme.
DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic.
DAVE: you could always change
DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable.
DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame.
DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl
DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape
DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver.
DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny.
DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives
DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over
DAVE: i was never into it
DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up
DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger
DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol.
DIRK: ...in theory.
DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies.
DAVE: ill plan your funeral
DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want
DIRK: ...there's different kinds?
DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld
DAVE: these choices matter
DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language"
DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know
DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels.
DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch.
DAVE: probably
DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo".
DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging
DAVE: or pink tiaras
DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act
DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly
DAVE: which is weird considering
DAVE: well
DAVE: youre gay right
DIRK: Uh.
DIRK: Well.
DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I.
DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean.
DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms.
DAVE: cant say i do no
DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes.
DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up.
DAVE: so
DAVE: thats a yes
DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds
DIRK: I've never denied it.
DIRK: I'm just.
DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race.
DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge
DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that
DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes.
DAVE: but anyway
DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE
DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs
DAVE: but
DAVE: it explains some stuff
DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt
DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option
DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao]
DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me
DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me
DAVE: including that
DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through,
DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know?
DAVE: probably not
DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks
DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality
DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess
DAVE: and so like
DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense
DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it
DAVE: so i guess i was wondering
DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that
DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit
DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing
DIRK: Wait, wait, wait.
DIRK: You're coming to me.
DIRK: For advice.
DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been?
DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but.
DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper.
DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university
DAVE: where you study bird watching
DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college?
DAVE: fair
DAVE: but like
DAVE: your friends know
DAVE: how did you broach the subject there
DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore.
DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework.
DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout.
DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit
DAVE: they were chill about the first part right
DIRK: Thanks.
DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed.
DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me
DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion
DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND
DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya
DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days
DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now
DAVE: thats a thing that we have
DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table
DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john
DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that
DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me
DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush.
DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list.
DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days
DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis
DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters
DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes
DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you.
DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes
DAVE: ive been wrong about people
DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better
DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be
DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself
DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn
DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves.
DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go.
DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight.
DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately
DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest.
DAVE: haha
DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible
DAVE: thanks mom
DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior.
DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose.
DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad
DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team
DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest?
DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover.
DAVE: sure thing
DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you
DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with.
DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that.
DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister?
DAVE: yeah i guess
DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice
DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs
DIRK: Oh my god.
DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie
DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me
DIRK: Why are we like this?
DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters?
DIRK: But, that aside.
DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to.
DAVE: ill hold you to it
DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you
DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching"
DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms
DAVE: ill have your back
DIRK: Thanks.
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