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cowgurrrl · 1 year

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She’s A Gun

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: *John Mulaney voice* My wife is a bitch and I love her SO much (gif by @salome-c) I also didn’t know how to end this so sorry

Summary: Somebody didn’t give the new guy a heads up about talking about Joel Miller’s family [1.6k]

Warnings: idiots in love, a quick mention of a queer slur, I can’t think of anything else!!

You catch him looking at you across the room as you sip some new whiskey Tommy traded for. He looks young and fresh-faced without many scars or littering the surface of his skin. His eyes are bright when they meet yours, and you give him a polite smile before returning to your drink. Unsurprisingly, he bellies up to the bar a few minutes later. You glance at the door, and the man follows your gaze.

"You meeting someone?" He asks. The bartender, a kind man named Nick, flashes you a look, but you wave him off, turning to the younger man, who is dead set on making his presence known.

"You must be new." You say, and he laughs as he holds out his hand.

"You got me. I'm Luke," He says. You meet him halfway and shake his hand, giving him your name. "Where are you from?"

"I came here from Boston."

"You're a long way from home. What brought you here?"

"Long story."

"Is it longer than the time it would take to get you another drink?"

"I can get my own drink, but thank you."

"'Course," he says but doesn't move from his place next to you. "What do you do here in Jackson?" He asks, and you open your mouth to say something, but he cuts you off. "Let me guess. School teacher. No, a nurse."

"I work patrols, but good guess."

"Oh, I'm going to work patrols, too. I actually just signed up for my first shift tomorrow. Speaking of which, do you know anything about this guy… Miller, I think, is his name. I heard he's a hard ass."

"Joel or Tommy?"

"There's multiple?" He asks, and you smirk as you sip your drink.

"There's a few of 'em hanging around, yeah. What did they say? Maybe I can," you shrug and try to hide the amusement in your voice. "Help you figure it out."

"Well, this guy, Seth, said Miller shouldn't even be in Jackson. Something about him killing people to get by before coming here, but he gets to stay because he's buddies with Maria. Apparently, he's a hell of a shot, though. I heard a rumor that he once shot an Infected from a mile away, but I'll believe it when I see it." He says, and you nod.

You remember that day well. Tommy had been bragging about his marksmanship, mostly telling big fish stories, and you finally got sick of it. Joel told you to leave it, but you had to see. When you went on patrol the next day, you and Tommy had a competition to see how far he could actually shoot. You passed the gun back and forth to see who could hit accurately and how far. You were the one holding the gun when the Infected bound his way up the hill and quickly went down as the bullet buried in his skull. You didn't think that story would've made the rounds, though.

"What else did Seth say?" You ask, and he puffs his cheeks out as he shakes his head.

"He told me to stay away from him. Something about not fucking with people like that because he's ruthless, especially when it comes to his kid. He said Miller yelled at him last week because he said something to her. Just... totally lost his mind like a crazy person." It wasn't just something. He called my daughter a dyke, you think to yourself. Joel may have pushed him and made him leave, but you threatened to ruin his fucking life. If you ever hear him say something like that to Ellie again, you'll make Joel look like the poster child for forgiveness. You bite the inside of your cheek and save that information for later.

Seth wasn't warning Luke about Joel. He was warning him about you.

"And you're sure he was talking about a man?"

"Pretty sure. I mean, I know people do lots of shitty things to stay alive, but I can't imagine a woman instilling that much fear in a man like Seth," He says, and you hum. "No offense."

"None taken." You smile and watch his guard come down just enough for him to feel comfortable reaching for your arm.

"I wish I had known they let women as beautiful as you out on patrol. I would've signed up with you instead of Miller." He says, and you almost gag. Joel's hand skims your lower back almost as if on cue, and you turn to face him. He kisses you a second too long before looking over your shoulder to face the stranger who looks embarrassed. His arm wraps protectively around your middle, and he's close enough that you can smell his shampoo over the bar’s stench of stale beer.

"Great timing. This is Luke. He's starting patrols tomorrow," You say. Joel reaches across the space to shake his hand, and Luke winces at his too-tight grip. "Luke, this is my husband, Joel Miller," you wish you had a camera to take a picture of the stunned look on his face when he hears the last name. "Joel, we were just talking about the last time I was on patrol with Tommy."

"You're Miller?" Luke asks, suddenly looking pale. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Oh, I thought I mentioned it. I'm sorry, I'm probably losing my mind." You echo Seth's words and smack yourself on the forehead dramatically. Luke drains his drink before glancing around the room.

"It was great to meet you, man. Um, I'm gonna run to the bathroom really fast." He says and takes several steps away from the bar.

"Oh, so soon? I was hoping you and Joel could talk about routes."

"Maybe later." He says, and with that, he's gone. You smile and turn in Joel's arms to face him.

"Jesus, I thought he was going to have a heart attack. What did you say to him?"

"Seth was warning him about the mercenary who's buddies with Maria and shot an Infected from a mile away, asked if I knew anything about the guy."

"Seth should learn to keep his fuckin' mouth shut." He grumbles, and you nod.

"It didn't help his case that he tried flirting with me. Even asked if I was a school teacher." You say, and he gives you a look. His warm fingers reach under your shirt collar to pull out the chain with your wedding band on it.

"Maybe if you actually wore this, that wouldn't happen so often."

"C'mon, everybody knows I'm yours. It's not my fault no one gave him the run down," you say, and he tugs on the chain to kiss you, his big hands moving to hold your jaw. He swallows your gasp when he licks into your mouth, sending a zing of electricity down your spine. He's a touch too handsy for a public space, but you're not complaining. "I don't see you wearing yours out on patrol either." You say, pulling away before he can start something he can't finish, at least not in public. Still, his hand slips into your back pocket, squeezing your ass through the denim.

"Don't want to lose a finger. Besides, everybody knows I'm yours," he parrots, and you smile. A familiar, old country song plays over the speakers, and Joel lights up at the first few chords. "Will you dance with me?" He asks, pressing light kisses to your jaw to butter you up. You lock your arms around his shoulders and let yourself forget about everyone else in the bar.

"And to think there was a time when you hated PDA."

"That was before someone tried hittin' on my wife," he says, and you feel like your face will get stuck from smiling so much. It's been three months since the small backyard wedding officiated by Tommy and Maria. Ellie walked you down the aisle— more of a patch of grass than anything else— and acted as your maid of honor. When Tommy asked if she agreed to give you to Joel, she said, "it's not like she's fucking property, but sure." She beamed so brightly when she realized you each included her in your vows, promising to love and protect her as much as you love and protect each other. It wasn't planned, but the unexpected matching further proved that you three are a family. Still, you don't know if you'll ever get used to hearing Joel call you his wife. "Dance with me, please." He pouts into your neck, and you finally give in, grabbing his hand and leading him to the dance floor.

He pulls you close, and you bury your face in his neck as you slowly dance to Tanya Tucker's voice. He sings along for only you to hear, his accent getting stronger as he does. You could stay like this forever, wrapped up in him and listening to him sing the same song you used to sing along to while driving on backroads. You would marry him again if you could. You think you would marry him in every lifetime.

Scary rumors of mercenaries and blood on your hands fade from your mind. To men like Seth and Luke, you are a subversion of their holy mother. You are bloody and broken, a monster beyond saving. You are a warzone with a heartbeat.

But to Joel, you are the most sacred thing he's ever held. It's not enough to erase the rumors and nightmares about you, but it's enough to knock the wind out of you and make you love your husband that much more. That has to count for something.

🍓

Tag list: @evyiione

#joel and ellie #joel miller #the last of us #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #the last of us x reader #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fluff #i wrote this for me but you can read it too i guess

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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WITAH for not telling someone my middle name?

My brother invited me to go bookstore browsing with him, his friend John, and John’s wife Rachel, neither of whom I’d met before. We’re all adults, late 20s-early 30s, I present F.

After introductions, we split to browse individually, saying hi if we ran into each other but otherwise continuing to do our own thing.

The second time Rachel and I crossed paths, she asked what my middle name was. I swear it was the first question out of her mouth in a one-on-one conversation, which absolutely floored me because in the many places I’ve lived, it has always been my experience that middle names can be a touchy subject, so it’s never something you’d just come out and ask someone?

I really didn’t want to tell her because, besides being a very private person, my middle name is *john mulaney voice* one of the things I’m sensitive about.

But I didn’t want to be rude and didn’t want to make her feel like she had been rude either, so I compromised and said that my middle name is actually a last name but didn’t tell her what it was.

I thought my words and tone were a strong enough indicator that I Didn’t Want To Tell Her So Let’s Please Talk About Other Things Now, but when she explained she wanted to see if mine was similar to a family member’s who shared my first name, she very clearly still expected an answer.

(sidenote: I can understand the curiosity but also have such a common first name that 5% of the people I work with have it, so it’s not like her meeting someone with my name was a rare occurrence or anything)

Well. I still didn’t want to tell her and couldn’t for the life of me think of a polite way to express “I literally met you 30 minutes ago, there’s no way I’m telling you my middle name when most of my friends don’t even know it??” So I just kind of laughed awkwardly and said that if her relative’s middle name wasn’t also a last name then it definitely wasn’t similar.

Then I asked her if there were any books she was hoping to find while we were there, and after a little small talk, we parted and didn’t really talk again for the rest of the night.

I fully realize this is low stakes but I feel like I need a reality check here like is this a normal thing to ask someone you just met?? Was this just a case of poor social skills or was Rachel the AH for asking (and then pressing) a near-stranger for their middle name? Is this just my anxiety-brain overthinking the entire interaction, or am I the AH for being so cagey and not answering when she asked me multiple times?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #okay. when i was a kid it was like #super a thing to not tell anyone your middle name?#i'm not sure if we were all just scared of getting made fun of #or if my school system was just beset by the fae #did anyone else have this experience i've always wondered

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capfalcon · 1 year

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I posted 2,784 times in 2022

554 posts created (20%)

2,230 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@capfalcon

@shamemp3

@fiovske

I tagged 1,695 of my posts in 2022

Only 39% of my posts had no tags

#jordan rambles - 211 posts

#words - 111 posts

#ask - 73 posts

#art - 72 posts

#save - 54 posts

#baseball - 44 posts

#jordan talks - 44 posts

#anon - 41 posts

#jordan rants - 41 posts

#insp - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#additionally the map is compressed vertically allowing it to stretch across twenty two feet distorting distances between places (brotton 28)

My Top Posts in 2022:

bruh....ariel fulmer is an interior designer....anna marie tendler (john mulaney’s ex-wife) is an interior designer and connor mcdavid’s girlfriend is a interior designer...what i am learning is that men who get w interior designers are a red flag

651 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

baseball announcers are the best white noise ever because their voices are so monotone and expressionless and classic that you can just zone out and then sometimes you zone back in and hear gems like “who doesn’t love a good cabbage burger” “i struggle to look in the mirror already,” “it’s like spam in a can”

698 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

u know smth i love about leverage is that for the most part, the fights are believable, and also catered to who’s fighting. im re-watching season 1 and of course, elliot is the main fighter, but in instances where other people do fight, it’s always suited to what they personally would do.

parker, in episode 6 when she’s fighting the orphanage guy, doesn’t do anything elliot does. she has nowhere near the body mass or the pure power that elliot does, because it doesn’t benefit her, and because they’re simply just different people. when she fights, she uses things to her advantage, and she fights according to what she’s capable of. she uses pressure points against him, because she can’t physically overwhelm him, she uses her hands to knee him in the skull, because she can’t just break a bone or punch him unconscious the way elliot can. she’s not as “clean” of a fighter, but that works, because she’s fighting an opponent she’s not on equal ground with, height/weight wise, and also because she wouldn’t be. elliot is a professional fighter, parker isn’t. when she grabs the bar to swing into his chest, she’s using momentum and physics on her side, not her strength, because in a 1v1 matchup, that’s not a fair fight. and COULD elliot fight like parker? yes. absolutely. but he has no need to, just like she would have no use for his bulk/stability.

i really just love that they included these details and took the time to make this believable, because so often the whole “guy faces a bunch of other guys with guns and comes out fine” trope annoys me, because it’s beyond unrealistic. but with elliot, the way he uses his body and fighting style, it genuinely works. and similarly with parker, her fighting isn’t “woman punches a man in the face and knocks him unconscious,” it’s a somewhat messy, adrenaline fueled fight where she not only outsmarts him, but uses the physical capabilities that she does have more control over/strength in, to render him a non-threat. that’s a genuine fight that i believe could happen. also, a key difference i love is that when parker is about to get punched, she ducks. elliot would simply block it, or grab his opponent’s arm and do something with that. but parker doesn’t have the knowledge or the power to do that, so she avoids the blow and fights using what she can do and what she does know. both options work for them. parker has the dexterity to duck quickly and retaliate, and elliot has the power to simply block it and use it against them. that’s perfect.

also, in the episode where they save the church, hardison makes a joke about fighting the injured. but quite honestly, what he did worked, and it’s what i would do as well. the fighting style i was trained in was so much less about power than it was manipulation and taking advantage of what’s presented to you. if someone tries to punch you, they’re most likely throwing themselves off balance and also, extending an arm into your area. if you know how to use that, you absolutely can to your advantage. and what hardison did was smart, he had previous information about a weakness and he utilized it to prove a point/get info.

so often fighting in entertainment is black and white, punching and kicking and all this shit that doesn’t really work, especially when it comes to two mismatched opponents. but in leverage, they took the effort to show how people fight differently according to their bodies/skill sets/knowledge, and i think that’s great.

810 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

you know, i know a part of season 5 of leverage is eliot teaching parker to love and enjoy food, and i think the origin of that makes me so sad but also so in awe of the character development and world building that leverage had.

in her “home” warehouse thing, parker only basically had boxes of cereal, and it makes sense. she didn’t have a home. she didn’t have parents who made her food. she was a thief. she was on the run, she probably didn’t have tons of money at any given time, and she never had the time or resources to learn to cook. so what’s easy to eat, reliable, and not very expensive? cereal. all you really need is a bowl and maybe some milk, which she could’ve gotten pretty easily. you don’t even really need the milk, if pressed. and it’s sad, it’s heartbreaking really. because at first, it’s introduced as this funny thing she does, hoarding cereal and only eating that, but it makes perfect sense. she didn’t have anyone cooking her meals, she didn’t have anyone keeping her fed. it was on her to find food, to keep herself alive. so she found a food that she could eat, and she stuck with it.

in the background of jobs sometimes, we see her eating cereal at nate’s place, etc. and i have so many personal thoughts about this, like nate personally making sure that his place is always stocked for her, and the rest of the crew doing the same. but i also think part of it in my head is about them letting her. letting her come into their spaces and having food for her, and letting her have it, so she’s comfortable.

in relation to eliot teaching her about food, it makes perfect sense that she doesn’t really get it. because what do we always talk about? food being love, right? food relating to family? food being a place to gather? parker never had any of that. any of it. she’s never had that relationship with food or people, at least in the past. to her food is the same as sleep, necessary but not really anything to dwell on.

and i think, that, more than anything else, to me, encapsulates parker. one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the show for me is the one where parker doesn’t want to turn the orphaned kids over to the government because they’ll be hurt, or “turn out like me (her).” parker knows that she isn’t okay. parker knows that she doesn’t fit in. parker knows all of these things, and she understands the gap between her and “normal” people. and i think that gap is so exquisitely captured in her relationship with food, because food is about so much more than itself, but parker never got to experience that. food is love, and parker never got that growing up. so i think it’s really so important that eliot is the one teaching her about food, because he’s one of the first people that’s truly, really loved her.

1,093 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ppl rlly be going "oh, so sad about ned but at least eugene and keith are unproblematic" bro how many times do we need to tell u no one is safe you don't know them trust no influencer bruh

1,451 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #my top reblog is me 🙁#anyway i love how my longest tag is about a fuckin map paper i wrote #and the two leverage posts and the two try guys posts im dead #also teo of them were posted on the ssme day which happens to be my birthday #and both leverage posts start w 'u know'#lmao

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cappurrccino · 3 years

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anyway xivu arath can do whatever she wants forever and i will continue to support her 💛😘

#//juri speaks #juri's d2 #the hive #xivu: [absolutely wrecking shop somewhere with her big sword and battle smarts]#me: [john mulaney voice] THAT'S MY WIFE #the hive moot discord made the mistake of talking about the hive and i'm here with my 1 war god foam finger

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spacedikut · 3 years

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i would like to formally propose yet again, but imagine all this being said in kermits voice:

hand in marriage, ma’am? Ma’am hand in marriage please!! ma’am— ma’am hand marriage

ok proposition: we redo our marriage but all with puppets. but they have to be the Sesame Street ones because other puppets scare me

#ask #[john mulaney voice] THAT’S MY WIFE #my answer is YES obviously #god id give anything to have a so that talks to me through a Kermit puppet #it’s so stupid and funny i love shit like that

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letsgobethegoodguys · 3 years

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Euphoric, glittery, jiggly, kinky, smile, squeezed, toot 💛

Hello, my dearest darling! 💛

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

Okay, I don't know why but one of the first people that popped in my head was one of my best friend's younger sisters (I adore all of her little siblings so much 😭). The girl I was thinking of is just so darling and sweet and always interested in what everybody around her cares about. She's a little photographer and storyteller and she's very passionate about music. She's also absolutely hilarious - my cheeks always hurt from smiling when I'm with her. Genuinely one of my favorite people in the world.

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

I do! Most of the time, the anons I get are just people who I think are a little shy but they are just curious or have something sweet to say. 😊 Obviously, people can send terrible things anonymously too and not fear direct repercussions which is a problem. But at least there's a way to block them and get rid of that negativity. 🤷‍♀️

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

Well, I often work on weekends. But on my days off, I like to shop sometimes and I always try to do something creative and spend time with my family 🥰

kinky; do you blush easily?

YES 🙈 Oh, I wish my face didn't turn so bright red literally all the time 😳

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

To not make this too heavy, I think growing up with 4 siblings and all of us close in age really has a lot to do with who I am today! 😊

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

@iamadreameroftheday :(

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

I don't think there's a lot that's unique about me 😅 However, I am quite a bit different from my siblings and one of the things that's unique about me in that regard is that I am not competitive... like, at all. All of my siblings are super competitive, I don't know what happened to me 😂

#angst queen kyler #*john mulaney voice* that's my WIFE #steph talks

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languor-em · 4 years

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I think I'm finally gonna watch The Ritual tonight!! It looks like a really fun time, and I like what I've seen of the monster design!!

Consequently, but entirely unrelated to the topic at hand:

If you look like this, please message me asap. I would simply like to offer you my hand in marriage 😔💍

#horror binge continues!!#maybe #if i dont get distracted by drawing purple guy memes #william afton has nO RIGHTS #but moder!!#*john mulaney voice* thATS MY WIFE!!!#ron talks #the ritual #moder #horror movies #i just really like monsters okay???#i just wanna smooch her dammit #is that too much to ask 🥺

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val-made-a-mistake · 3 years

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❝THAI FOOD.❞

(not my gif)

summary: you and john argue about something petty. he proceeds to fuck you into the floor.

warnings: smut, HATE SEX, oral sex m receiving, fingering, unprotected sex, arguments, pettiness, dirty talk, use of “good girl”, john cheating on his wife

word count: 2.8k

a/n: *john mulaney voice* okay okay okay okay okay okay

please do not read this fic and assume that i am a john walker apologist. if you’ve been following my blog, you’ll know that i DESPISE john walker and everything he stands for, but at the same time...this is dedicated to all the people who found his descent into madness hot, i wrote this fic instead of going to therapy

(and i should really go to therapy)

so uh if this flops i was never here

//////

The sunset was milky with colour as you swayed on the swing. Ever since you were little it had been rusty, always made nails-on-chalkboard creaks, and no one had ever bothered to fix it, but it was home, which was perhaps why you found yourself sitting there alone as you tried to control your breath.

He had you counting to ten again.

You knew John Walker was married, knew what he was like back in high school, and it had become international news when he’d decapitated an anarchist in broad daylight over in Europe, but still you found yourself responding to his text message when he slid into your DMs a week ago asking about vibranium alternatives, now here you were. You were a chemical metallurgist, you’d dedicated your whole life to the study, and as soon as you’d graduated from Custer’s Grove you’d booted yourself up to Cambridge to study at MIT, but you leapt at the chance to visit your Georgia hometown again.

And Jesus fucking Christ, Jonathan Walker was still as insufferable as he was when it was cool to date someone on the football team.

Why could he not understand that you were only human? Why could he not understand that you had, despite running tests on practically all the vibranium in the US that wasn’t the property of the Avengers, never been to Wakanda where it was sourced, and why the fuck was he absolutely prodding you over stupidly specific scenarios and circumstances that weren’t even going to happen? What absolute moron would try to take on the National Guard by himself?

The pull out couch that his wife Olivia was nice enough to assemble for you was always cold and hard at the end of the day, and as you stared up at the shuddering AC, you counted down the hours until you’d be able to go back to Cambridge and pretend like none of this had happened. None of this had to happen, you were just an idiot.

Now you inhaled the cool outside breeze, hating yourself.

You told John you were going on a walk twenty minutes ago. He’d gone apeshit when you said it would be impossible to replicate vibranium’s boomerang-like tendencies, he would be wondering where you’d gone by now. He’d had enough decency to tell you to bring a jacket as you retreated.

You knew parts of him still cared about you, and God, you wanted to believe there was at least a shred of high school him there. Most of your high school relationship had been performative, but you loved attempting to escape the Evangelical parts of Custer’s Grove with him because it always ended up with you two sitting on the roof of a “closed for repairs” ice cream parlour miles out, staring at a sunset similar to the one in front of you now. The marina, he called it. It was a pathetic excuse for a marina.

Get your mind to work, you told yourself.

Boomerangs spun to create unbalanced aerodynamic forces, causing it to curve into a kind of elliptical shape, that was why they came back, this was basic, you’d learned it years ago. If John somehow succeeded in making a new Captain America shield for whatever reason and didn’t choose to sell it on Wish, would you be able to do anything to make sure it returned to its holder? Probably not, it’d be way too heavy, it was way too heavy now, it would just fall to the ground like a pathetic piece of spraypainted metal, which was technically all it was.

You picked at your nails as the last of the sunset disappeared into the treeline.

Time to go.

//////

When you got back to the house, you immediately noticed that Olivia’s shoes had disappeared from the doorway and John had actually taken a break from sulking in the basement, he was scrubbing dishes at the sink.

“I finished spraypainting,” he said casually as you closed the door behind yourself and shook off your sandals.

“Where’s Olivia?” you demanded flatly, ignoring his last sentence on purpose.

You saw him stiffen.

“Out,” he answered, his voice suddenly becoming as flat as yours, “She wanted Thai, I let her go.”

“I hate Thai.”

CRACK!

He’d quite literally pulled apart a plate with his hands: you hadn’t realized how much he was twitching since you’d gotten in.

“That’s what we’re having,” he hissed.

Oh, so you were fighting over this now?

You felt familiar rage bubble up in your chest. “You could’ve at least fucking texted me.”

“I did, but then I realized you left your fucking phone here,” he spat, dropping the shards of the plate and letting it float underneath the soapy water, “You do realize you could’ve been kidnapped, right? Have you forgotten what it’s like to live in the Grove?”

“I’m not your fucking dog on a leash,” you snarled with everything you had. “Jesus Christ, you have Olivia for that.”

SLAM!

John slammed his hands on the base of the counter, and with an ugly snap, the granite cracked.

“We’re getting Thai food,” he hissed, but his voice shook, ruining the authority. “I don’t wanna do this right now.”

“For someone who failed drama class back in high school, you’re acting awfully dramatic right now,” you shot back coolly, folding your arms. Sure, he’d been insufferable in high school, but if he pushed you-- which he was doing right now-- you could turn into a bitch on a dime.

And yet you couldn’t help but feel your heart race as he turned around and approached you.

You instinctively backed into the wall.

When you opened your mouth, no words came out. He was suddenly so close you could see every pore on his cheeks.

You turned away on impulse, but you couldn’t help but notice the strange stuffiness that was filling the kitchen like a poisonous gas. Maybe that was why your heart rate was going as fast as it was, and maybe that was why the warmness was threatening to shoot up your neck at the faintest enabling.

You were shivering as he leaned forward to whisper in your ear.

“You’re gonna stop acting like a frigid bitch over Thai food, and then you’re gonna stop pretending like you don’t know how to improve the shield. Then you’ll be able to fuck off back to wherever you moved to after high school, and we’ll pretend like none of this ever happened.”

John paused.

“Do you understand me?”

You were overcome by a wild urge to spit in his face, but you held it back.

(Just barely.)

Instead, you turned to face him and licked your lips.

“You will never be Captain America.”

That did it: the sudden humidity around both of you came to a head, and John forced his lips onto yours so fiercely your natural response was to kiss him back, even though it was completely insane. You felt hands on your body-- you gasped on his lips, his hands were frozen and still slightly soapy from the dishes-- and you let him tear your clothes off as mercilessly as he could. It was like you’d thrown your moral compass out of the window: you were already yanking at his shirt and stumbling forward.

WIth a clatter, you’d tumbled to the kitchen floor, and you were pushing yourself onto him, all tongue and teeth.

“God, you drive me crazy sometimes,” John growled as he yanked your jeans down your ass; you were struggling to undo the buttons of his shirt.

“I fucking should,” you countered, and just like that, you kissed him harder, your teeth tearing into his lips and your tongue careening into his mouth. A horrible yet glorious feeling was searing through your chest: you wanted to treat him like a city you could burn to the ground, a reality you could shred to its last atom, and you drank it all up.

And then you had the air knocked out of you.

Your head hit the tile so hard your vision spun, and all you knew was that John was on top of you, glaring at you so malevolently all your nerves clenched.

“Baby, you’re gonna be fucking crying when I’m finished with you.”

You wrapped your legs around him at that, and then you were kissing, more languidly and sinful than anything you’d ever experienced, and you tangled your hands in his hair, absolutely collapsing into his harsh warmth. He was rocking against you fully clothed.

You skipped heaven and went straight to hell.

You pawed at his zipper, pulling it down just enough to get his cock out, and seeing what you were getting at, he pushed you against the wall and shoved himself into your mouth.

John wasn’t taking it easy on you. He gripped the back of your hair and fucked into your mouth, pushing as far as he could into your throat. You gagged and sputtered around him for all it was worth, gasping for air as he pulled you off for a moment.

He brushed a strand of your hair out of the way, and for a minute you thought he was going to stop this madness, but he only shoved himself back in so fiercely you couldn’t help but moan around his length.

He groaned at that, and you felt something warm gush between your legs. The feeling was enough to make you part your legs just the tiniest bit-- your knees were screaming in pain from being pressed so harshly into the tile-- but you kept going, flattening your tongue around the underside of his cock. You might’ve hated him right now, but you were determined to suck him off the best you could. By the look on his face, you were succeeding.

“Good girl,” John muttered, finally pulling himself off you.

“I really fucking hate you,” you spat, but his cock was so hot and hard and dripping, it would be so easy to take him once more like this--

But he had the super serum and you’d never been athletic, so there was little you could do when he gripped your arm and forced you to move.

John laid you down on the floor, flipping you over on all fours and pushing your face down into the tile, ass up for him. You gasped at his strength, and a moan left your lips as he spanked you harshly.

“Jesus,” he commented as he pressed a finger inside of you, no warning. “Just wanna be split open, all stretched out on my cock?”

“Fuck you,” you gasped, trying to swallow your moans. That earned you another finger.

His fingers delved in and out of you at a surprisingly fast pace, making you gasp and jut against the stimulation, and you sank your teeth into your forearm so you wouldn’t scream out. No way would you give him the satisfaction, but from the groans spilling out of John’s mouth, it looked like he wouldn’t have cared.

You knew you were dripping onto his fingers. You fucking knew it.

“God, fuck,” you gasped as he rubbed your clit: you hated being this easy, but here you were, becoming completely undone because of his two fingers. The feeling twisted in your gut, it was getting bigger and bigger, preparing for an inevitable release.

Blood was rushing into your cheeks at the sheer thought of it.

John Walker? Seriously?

You could’ve see it coming from a mile away, but somehow the feeling still blindsided you: you were coming, the orgasm rushing through you and soaking your inner thighs, making them gleam. Gasping, your body hot as lava, euphoria coursed through your brain, and for a moment, tiny white spots appeared in your vision.

No fucking way. John fucking Walker, of all people, had made you come.

Did he ever fuck Olivia like this?

You really fucking hoped not, not when he reached forward and pressed a kiss to the inside of your thigh, finger-fucking you through your orgasm.

John groaned senselessly as he crooked a finger inside of you, pushing even further, and you moaned loudly.

“You’re dripping,” he whispered. The disastrously low tone of his voice made you clench around his fingers, and feeling it, he let out a smug little laugh that had you squirming underneath him. “That do something for you, sweetheart?”

Under him, you were gasping without rhythm, sanity slipping in and out of your grasp as your legs shook, threatening to make you come again and again until it would be impossible to handle it. The blood thundering in your ears made it hard to think: you could barely handle being fucked by a man affected by the super serum as it was, and John showed no signs of stopping.

When you didn’t answer, he slapped your cheek - not enough force to be called harsh, but enough for you to startle, blinking fast. “Answer me when I talk to you.”

“Yeah,” you said blindly, clenching your fists at the humiliation. “Yeah - yes, it did.”

Fuck, you hated John for being so smug. “Yeah, I already know.”

The next thing you were conscious of feeling was him slipping his fingers out of your pussy, his fingers coated in your glistening arousal, and you automatically opened your mouth to suck them clean.

“Filthy little slut,” John spat from above you, and you couldn’t help it, you batted your eyelashes up at him-- seductively? Mischievously?

Whatever it was, you whined louder than ever as you felt the head of his cock breach your pussy, splitting you open.

“Fuck, so tight,” you whimpered, or maybe you’d said it in your head, you didn’t really know because he’d already started moving, driving his cock deeper and sending a curious burning sensation up your pussy, which raced up your abdomen and practically exploded at your neck. You were sure your face was bright red now.

“More,” you gasped at the ceiling, and then it was on.

In the days to come you wouldn’t remember the way how harshly his hips slammed against yours, or the way he fucked into you like you were a medium to release all his rage, and he certainly wouldn’t feel the scratches you carved into his neck. Neither of you were thinking about Olivia: all you knew was he was fucking you on the kitchen floor and you never wanted him to stop.

God, that serum had really brought out an interesting change in him.

You came for what felt like the fiftieth time screaming his name, and it was then John decided to force your hands high over your head while gripping the nape of your neck, wrapping you in a kiss that effectively muffled your cries. You melted at his touch– he was so big and strong and physically superior, he could press you into the floor and stop all chances of you struggling with just one hand. Not like you’d ever want to struggle with the way he was fucking you: the way he was handling you was the complete opposite of gentle, and you loved it. John was heaving against you, unrelenting, and if this was a fight, you didn’t want to yield.

You were aching all over, your knees were stinging and your shoulderblades were rubbing uncomfortably against the kitchen tile, but you didn’t care, you succumbed to the dominance and kissed him back.

John groaned right in your ear, and his hand fell from your neck to grip your ass tightly, rocking his body into yours effortlessly.

“Oh, god,” you whispered, the way he stretched you out making you so dripping wet.

BANG!

You heard the familiar sound of a car door slamming in the distance, and it snapped you both back to reality at the same time.

“Shit!”

John reacted faster than you did: he pulled himself off of you, clearly wanting to save nobody but his own ass, and you heard a zipping noise as you fumbled for your bra, which was half-crumpled from underneath your shirt. The last thing you saw was him disappearing for the basement before you flung yourself at the stairs.

As Olivia approached the front door, you were now panicking for yourself.

“Shit, shit, shit-”

You slid and nearly fell onto the tile, but that didn’t matter, you needed to get out of view before Olivia reached the front door.

The stupid bastard had actually ripped a good length of seam on your jeans, so you haphazardly threw a blanket over most of your body and reached for your phone, hoping to God it looked like you were doing something normal.

You saw Olivia jut the door open with her hip.

“I’m home, I brought Thai!” she called out.

You forced your face into a shiny smile as you glanced up. “Great!”

#tfatws #tfatws series #tfatws new episode #tfatws spoilers #fatws #fatws spoilers #fatws ep 5 #the falcon and the winter soldier series #the falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier spoilers #wyatt russell #john walker #john walker x reader #john walker x reader smut #fanfiction #writing #fiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction

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uselessgayshit · 3 years

Text

CR Campaign 3 Episode 1 Liveblog 1/2

Probably gonna put the first half in one and the second half in another.

-Is that Mary Elizabeth McGlynn being his wife????? like that also doesn't really look like her but it has to be

-The set looks so good absolutely fuck off my friends

-Marisha???? why are you wearing that??? are you trying to kill me????

-Matt looks sooooo young 'cause he shaved his beard

-Travis and Marisha next to each other? big brain moves

-Ashley and Laura next to each other???? gonna fucking die

-is Matt talking faster than normal because i need him to slow down so i can take in every. single. detail

-DUET already????? someone was gonna be related, I SAID IT

-Laura is not a southern bell i swear to god

-Marisha's character is a Yasha cosplay lmao, and her accent/voice has absolutely fucking killed me

-i'm already shipping them and it only has to do with their character voices lmao

-call Imogen "darling" one more time, Laudna, istg

-is this leonin npc just John Mulaney? lmao

-Laudna is giving me BIG sara jessica parker in hocus pocus vibes

-ASHTON IS SOOOOOOO GENDER (also a Gen Z-er?????)

-a cleric warforged?????? (inserte BEYONCE???? meme)

-the fuck gender duo is something else

-we've got 2 southern accents which is one more than last time so my only theory so far is that in campaign 4, there will be 3 southern accents

-Somewhere in Exandria, Beau is bursting with pride and doesn't know why...its Ashton btw

-not to bring everything back to the Mighty Nein but currently we have off-brand, Yasha, Fjord, and Beau. I said what i said. do not come for me

-I know Sam (or Liam by proxy) is trying to troll, but Fresh Cut Grass is beyond the pale

-ROBBIE?????? ROBBIE????? THEY’RE ALREADY DOING GUESTS????

-love that they brought in an EXU character

-IS ASHLEY PLAYING FEARNE???? THE FUCK

-which would mean Liam is Orym???? honestly good for them

-not to be on my bullshit, but you give me Fearne and goth Laudna in the same campaign and i'm NOT supposed to ship another Marisha/Ashley pairing. okay, okay, okay fuck off

-the fact that this actually cements everything Aabria did in EXU and all the canon she made is sooooo awesome. like i know they said it, BUT, seeing it is come through is awesome!

-Fearne's hand and Laudna's hand. what is the connection???? the spider queen???? the raven queen???? need to know thank you very much

-Fearne just collecting the emblems of the gods as she goes

-Surprise! Travis isn't in this campaign

-was i expecting a battle in the first half? absolutely not, no way

-TRAVIS NEEDS TO BE A GODDAMN ARTIFICER BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO BE

-also, not to be throwing shit on Liam, but i'm really tired of him playing a moody boi, and Orym was the worst of them all. cause like Vax was moody af but charismatic, and Caleb was moody but intelligent and had cool magic shit, but Orym felt like fighter version of Caleb which is just a more boring moody boi and i don't know if i can do it for a whole campaign without losing my goddamn shit

-Matthew "snaps a mini in half in episode one" Mercer

-a grandpa???? in CR???? more likely than you think

-Bertrand Bell making a nice comeback????

-we straight up have not been paying any attention to this combat because we've been talking about our own game lore lmao but fighting furniture is by far a first game combat if i've ever seen one

-its wild for them to have pitched this as the easiest campaign to enter CR world and then have 4 PCs who were involved in previous stories lmao

-we were having a drinking game about what our character guesess were but i guess the three of us watching have to take a shot together now because we've been completely bamboozled by their lack of creativity. 2 fighters and 2 sorcerers? the fuck are we doing my dudes

-i lose my shit every time matt says fresh cut grass. don't know how he does it with a straight face

-not to be rude to travis but bertrand bell is the same accent as fjord right now

-"your fingers were drippin'" LMAO ROBBIE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

-the fanart for Bertrand is just Travis in like thirty years

-one thing i never expected, this fucking presidency thing to come around again NO WAIT ITS GALE I JUST ASKED FOR THIS AND PRAYED FOR HER THANK YOU

Okay, well these are my thoughts on the first half. I'll add my thoughts on the second half as we go.

#randomrants #critical role spoilers #critical role lb #critical role #cr3 #marisha ray #laura bailey #there are more questions here than answers #but that's how this works

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5-seconds-of-bucky · 4 years

Text

You Are In Love

A/N: Very much based off the song You Are In Love by Taylor Swift, but I don’t know if this classifies as a song fic?? Anyways, here ya go! (Extra points if you can spot the very vague John Mulaney reference)

Summery: In the end, you’re always glad you married each other

Word count: 2.6k+

Warnings: A touch of angst, mild swearing

“Mind if I steal my wife?” Shawn asked the girls standing around you.

“Ooh, Y/N, looks like someone likes you,” you maid of honor said in a sing-songy voice.

“Really? Is he cute?” You all laughed as you excused yourself.

“Where are we going?” you giggled as he tugged you through the sea of tables.

He stopped abruptly and you almost crashed into him, placing a hand on his suit clad bicep to steady yourself. “Nowhere in particular,” he said with a smile.

You eyed him suspiciously and he winked in return, taking your hand off his bicep and kissing it before turning around and tugging you forward again. He didn’t stop until you reached a corner in the gigantic room, pulling you in close and swaying slightly to the faint music.

“We haven’t really had a moment to ourselves tonight,” he commented as you stood there.

He wasn’t wrong. You tried to keep the guest list down for the celebration, but that’s a hard task when it comes to a wedding. Everyone wanted to talk to you, and it felt like there was barely any time for you to just be with each other.

“We have to interact with our guests, my dear,” you said as you looked up at him. “We can’t invite them and then completely ignore them.”

“Well yeah, but it’s our wedding. Emphasis on our.”

“We have all the time in the world.”

You smile alone could’ve made him melt on the spot. He’d known for a long time that you were the one, but every time you smiled made him even more positive that statement.

“That we do, however, we only get one wedding day.”

It was cliche to say, but everything truly was perfect. From the moment he saw you in the white dress to the moment he pulled you into this dimily light corner away from the rest of the party, everything was pure bliss.

You shook your head, a genuine smile on your face. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

There was silence for a minute; nothing needed to be said. It was you and your husband against the world.

You were glad you married each other.

---

You yawned as you glanced at the clock. 11:48. You wanted to go to bed so bad, but Shawn made you promise you’d stay up until he got out of the shower. He didn’t tell you why but you assumed he wanted to go out and do something.

It was one of his favorite things to do while you were with him on tour. He loved his team, but sometimes he wanted to go places without anyone else around. With less people on the streets his fame was irrelevant: he was just some guy walking around with his wife late at night.

Your thoughts were interrupted when Shawn walked out of the bathroom, using a towel to dry his hair. He grinned when he saw you half asleep on the bed, and you couldn’t help but smile back. He silently went to his suitcase and tossed a hoodie to you before grabbing one for himself and tossing his towel in the bathroom.

“Where are we going?” you asked as you took his hand and he led you out of the room.

“Don’t know yet,” he shrugged, pressing the button for the elevator. “We’ll know when we see it.”

You gave him a questioning look. “We’re not going to get lost, are we?”

“Pssh, I would never get us lost.”

You rolled your eyes. “Uh huh. What about-”

The ding of the elevator interrupted you and Shawn dragged you in behind him, pulling you into a bone crushing hug.

“That’s irrelevant.”

“But-”

He used a hand to push your face into his chest. “Irrelevant!”

You sighed and hugged him back, too tired to fight back.

“I think the first thing we’re going to do is get you some caffeine,” he chuckled, loosening his grip the slightest bit.

“Good idea.”

You ended up at some random coffee shop down the road. Part of you desperately wanted to go to sleep, the other part wanted to use the time to have Shawn to yourself; a rare moment these days.

You took your drinks on the go, walking hand in hand around the quiet streets of the city. Except for the occasional joke about something you saw here and there, few words were exchanged between the two of you. The only light came from the soft glow of the street lamps. It was the perfect night for coffee at midnight.

“What time is our flight tomorrow?” Shawn asked as he stopped to take a seat on a bench, patting the spot next to him for you to sit.

“Well, technically it’s today and it’s at 5:30, which is in about four and a half hours.” You sat down next to him.

“You sound like that really annoying kid at sleepovers. ‘Uh, it’s tomorrow now,” he mocked with a dopey face.

“Shut up.” You punched him playfully in the arm with a giggle.

“Good lord, why’d we schedule such an early flight? We really should’ve gone to bed.”

“Really? I didn’t think of that.”

“You’re the worst.” The smile on his face said the exact opposite; full of adoration for the girl in front of him.

“What’cha gonna do about it, huh?”

“I’m gonna do this.” He leaned in and you assumed he wanted a kiss so you closed your eyes and leaned in as well. Your face scrunched in disgust when you felt him lick your cheek.

“Shawn Mendes,” you sighed, slowly bringing a hand up to wipe your cheek.

“Yeah?” he asked with a giggle.

You glared at him. “You are absolutely disgusting.”

“Oh yeah? What’cha gonna do about it?”

“Nothing because I’m a civilized person.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “I’m sorry, your majesty.”

You nudged him with your shoulder as you laughed. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he yawned, stretching his arms up before placing one around your shoulders.

“That was not smooth at all.”

“Really? I think it was pretty smooth.”

“We’re married and you have to do the yawn arm stretch to put your arm around me?”

“No.” He rested his head on your shoulders. “I thought it would be cute.”

“You’re a dork.”

He was a dork, but you were glad you married him.

---

“I got the letter.” You rubbed the piece of paper between your fingers. You had read it at least four times that day and you wanted to read it a fifth, but Shawn called and you couldn’t pass up a chance to actually talk to him.

“Did you like it?” he asked shyly.

“Of course I liked it, silly!”

He let out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t even sure why he’d been so nervous about you receiving it in the first place.

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” he said, flopping down on the bed of the hotel room he was staying in for the night. “However, I must say that I do not miss your cold-ass hands on me.”

“Liar,” you accused, fake offense in your voice. “You wish these cold-ass hands were on you right now.”

“That’s debatable.”

“Okay then. Well, how's the whole international pop-star thing going?”

“Oh, you know. Just the usual.”

“Absolutely satisfactory,” you said at the same time. It was a running joke and you weren’t entirely sure where it began. Just one of the many things that made being apart the tiniest bit better.

You gazed longingly at a picture of the two of you on your honeymoon on your nightstand. “I want to use these cold-ass hands to give you a hug.”

“I wish they could.”

“Aha! So you do miss these cold-ass hands!”

“What, no? That’s not what I said.”

He could be a liar about missing your cold-ass hands, but you were glad you married him.

---

You could’ve stayed outside all night. It was the perfect temperature, and the only light came from the moon and a kitchen light you left on for when you decided to go back in.

You were laying on top of Shawn, head in the crook of his neck and hand over his heart. He had a foot on the ground, using it to rock the two of you back and forth in the hammock.

He had been rambling for a while now, failing to notice how your breathing was slowing down, eyes closed as you stopped trying to fight the exhaustion from the day.

“I don’t know. What do you think?” he asked.You didn’t answer and he laughed when he looked down and saw you far away in dream land.

“Hmm, wha’d you say?” You asked, lifting your head up slightly, bumping him in the jaw.

“Nothing. Go to sleep, it’s late,” he chuckled, slipping the hand that was resting on your back under your shirt and rubbing circles into your side.

“No, keep talking. I’m just resting my eyes.” You pressed a soft kiss to his jaw.

“Mmhm. Get some rest, Y/N.”

You snuggled into his chest, breathing in the faint scent of cologne and laundry detergent. He buried his face in your hair, closing his eyes and allowing himself to be in the moment. It was rare you got a quiet moment like this; just the two of you at home.

He was glad he married you.

---

“I just feel like you’re never home.”

“Shawn, what are you talking about?” you sighed. “I’m home all the time.”

“I haven’t properly seen you in three weeks. Three weeks, Y/N,” Shawn huffed. “This is the first time we’ve had dinner together in three weeks.”

“That’s not my fault, Shawn.”

“I came home early multiple times last week and you weren’t here. You were home at 9:30 every day last week. You’re only supposed to work until seven.” His eyes were cold and his movements rigid. Anyone could tell he was mad, but you knew better. Insecurity was creeping in. This wasn’t a fight you should be fighting, but you were going to anyways.

“I can’t control my workload. If I don’t get stuff done in time, I get fired. Time isn’t subjective. Deadlines exist.”

“You couldn’t come home on time just one time? One time, Y/N. That’s all I asked.”

“What, so I could stay until 11:30 the next day? I love you, Shawn, but I can’t do that to myself.” You were already so sick of the fight. The night had started out nice. You had dinner together for the first time in a while but Shawn grumbled about how you were never home under his breath and it only escalated from there.

“All I’m asking for is a little effort on your end.” There were a lot of things he could’ve said right then, but that was the one he had to go for.

“You really think I don’t care about this relationship?”

“That’s not what I-”

“I married you, Shawn. I’ve put up with the touring for months on end, the long nights at the studio, the PR stunts, everything. I clean the house, cook dinner for when you get home, leave you notes in the morning because I care; because I love you.”

Shawn zoned out, your rant becoming a background noise in his brain. He wanted to take the words back the moment he said them. He knew it wasn’t true, life was just frustrating when you didn’t see your wife for weeks on end.

“I think I’ve put in plenty of effort.” You took a step towards him, but it did little to close the huge space between you. “I’m sorry that my job keeps me over every once and awhile, but I put every ounce of myself into this relationship. You should know that better than anyone.”

He stared at you, trying to come up with the right words; words that could just fix everything so you could have just one nice night together for once.

“Are you going to say anything?” you asked, arms crossed and hurt evident in your voice.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He ran a hand through his hair, voice having the slightest tone of accusation. He couldn’t think of anything else to say. His eyes were sincere, you could tell, but his lack of words said much more.

“Okay then,” you said quietly, biting your lip. “When you figure out what to say, let me know.”

“Okay.” His voice was barely audible, but it spoke volumes. You turned on your heel and walked to the guest bedroom, closing the door softly behind you. Angry as you were, slamming doors wasn’t going to help anything.

He sighed as you disappeared. You always seemed to be the more rational of the two of you and he never understood how you could deescalate yourself so quickly.

You could be mad at him all you wanted, as the end of the day, he was still glad he married you.

---

“Don’t freak out.”

“Telling me not to freak out is going to make me freak out more.” You were standing in the hallway of your office building, staring at the ceiling and tapping your foot as you waited for Shawn to tell you why he called you so abdamentelly in the middle of the workday.

“So I’m kinda on my way to the hospital.”

“Oh my gosh, Shawn, what happened?” Your mind raced with every worst case scenario. The fact that he was calling you should have been some indication that he wasn’t dying, but that did little to ease your worries.

“I was messing around with Brain and I might’ve maybe twisted my ankle really bad and it swelled up a lot so we’re just going to get it checked out.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank the lord.”

“Why do you sound so happy?”

“You never call me during work. I assumed you were dead or dying.”

“That’s a little unreasonable.”

“Shawn!”

“Sorry.”

“How bad does it hurt?”

“Like a . . . a six I guess?”

Is six enough to warrant surgery?

“I’m not going to be able to get out before my shift ends,” you sighed, leaning your head against the wall as you looked at your watch. “Let me know if you get out before I go home. I’m really sorry, babe.”

“Hakuna matata. I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

He was probably the clumsiest person around, but you were still glad you married him.

---

The remains of Chinese takeout was scattered on the table, long forgotten as you lost yourselves in each other.

“No, but do you remember when you literally dragged me out at three in the morning and then got us lost so Andrew had to track us down and nearly killed us?” You asked, looking up from where you were laying across his lap.

“That is not what happened. First of all-”

“That is so what happened!” You sat up to give him that ‘you’re insane’ look.

“You’re crazy, woman.”

“That’s a strange way to address your wife.”

“I am a bit of a strange guy.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Hey!” He pushed you off of him with a playful smile. “That’s a mean thing to say about your husband.”

“I am a bit of a mean wife.”

“That’s an overstatement. I mean, we’ve made it to one year of marriage and I haven’t considered divorce yet. That’s gotta work for something.”

“Fair enough.”

“I’m glad I married you, Y/N. Happy anniversary”

“Happy anniversary, babe. I’m glad I married you too.”

And it was true. At the end of every day, you were glad you married each other because there could never be anyone better.

Taglist // add yourself

@fallinallincurls @lonelyreputation @musicalkeys

#Shawn Mendes #Shawn Mendes fic #Shawn Mendes fanfic #Shawn Mendes fanfiction #Shawn Mendes one shot #Shawn Mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes writing #Husband!Shawn #Shawn Mendes fluff #Shawn Mendes angst #Shawn Mendes x reader #Shawn Mendes x Y/N #Y/N #Reader insert

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imaginesbymonika · 4 years

Text

“Until they discover what a mess I truly am.”

Pairing: Pete Davidson x reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of depression, fluff at the end

As a writer for SNL Y/N knew a bunch of famous people, she worked with almost everyone since she had started in 2013. The young woman began writing at the age of 17, being the youngest female writer in Saturday Night Live history. On the one hand, it was super fun, the thrill of working among people such as Seth Meyers or Lorne Michaels filled her with pride. At the same time, it was intimidating and occasionally mentally exhausting. It felt like she frequently had to prove herself to everyone, prove that she was worthy of being a writer for SNL at such a young age. She constantly had to work twice as hard.

The first person that looked at Y/N as an equal writer was John Mulaney. John treated her like an adult and whenever she happened to be in the writers' room with him, he always wanted to hear her ideas and opinions on scripts and previous shows.

He explained that he saw a piece of himself in her, and he knew exactly how tough the first year could be without having at least one friend.

To this day still, Y/N was incredibly grateful for him.

Over the years she had met a lot of writers, some of them grabbing her attention more than others. But at the end of the day, none of them seemed to be 'dateable'. John always wanted to set her up with one of his friends, but she always declined saying he was her friend, not her dating service. Until Y/N met Pete Davidson.

„Sorry, I’m late.“, he announced after entering the writers' room. He sat down on the opposite side of Y/N and flashed her a quick smile, before leaning back in his chair.

„I saw how you stared at Pete this morning.“, John later said as the two left the SNL building. She simply rolled her eyes and turned her head away from her friend, humiliated that her cheeks were burning up.

The very first-time Y/N realized she had developed quite the crush on Pete was after his proposal announcement.

He held up Ariana’s hand, while a huge smile played on his lips: “WE‘RE GETTING MARRIED!“. She could see the little tattoo behind his ear and sighed.

She could feel her heart breaking, but when his eyes met hers, Y/N smiled softly and nodded her head at him. Forming the word „Congrats“ with her lips.

From that moment on, she tried her best to get over him. Dating guys and having one night stands- Y/N did everything to keep Pete of her mind. She hardly saw him, during the time of his engagement, which was a miracle. But after the engagement was canceled, he was around more often. They sometimes made eye contact in the writers' room or at an after-show party. But Y/N kept her distance, knowing that once they would start talking again- her old feelings would resurface.

„Pete asked about you again.“, John explains while handing her a cup of coffee. „Thank you.“. Making her snap out of her thoughts: “Are you alright?“.

She simply nods: “Yeah, I’m fine.“.

„Did you hear what I said? Pete-.“.

„Yeah, I heard you.“, Y/N interrupts him, a bit more cold than she intended. She takes a sip before looking at her old friend apologetic: “John, you know how I feel about Pete- I don’t want to get my hopes up. He’s out there dating these supermodels, I just don’t-“, she pauses for a second: “I just don’t fit into that picture.“.

John, confused and a bit overwhelmed by her words swallows thickly: “Okay, wow. I never expected you to think that little of yourself-.“.

„Pete’s too good for me. Hell, he’s too good for anyone, really.“, she explains: “Let’s not talk about him. Please.”.

„That’s exactly what he said about her.“, Anna, John's wife, exclaims after Y/N left their apartment: “We need to do something about this mess.“.

„I don’t know.“, Pete says, holding a cigarette in his hand: “I mean, it’s not like I don’t find Y/N attractive... she’s really pretty, but I feel like she deserves more- better than this.“. He makes a hand gesture, pointing at himself.

„But Pete-.“.

„Look, I appreciate your concerns but - it’s always the same. I like a girl, we date then she gets to know the real me- like the real me. You know how fucked up I am. She breaks up with me.“, Pete explains: “And I don’t know, I can get it when they’re famous- like Ariana or Kaia...but a normal girl like Y/N? That would probably break my heart.“.

Anna and John exchange a look.

Y/N who walks into her office turns on the lights. One hour earlier she received a weird text message from John saying:

Sorry to text you this late, there’s some trouble at the office considering the sketch for tomorrow. Would be great if you could go there, rehearse it and look it over. Anna and I have our date night, so it would be you with another writer. Thanks. Love you.

„Hello-?“, a voice asks and Y/N lets out a high-pitched scream. She quickly turns around and sees Pete Davidson standing in the door frame.

„Oh my god, Pete.“, she says and runs a hand down her face. She can hear how he chuckles slightly. “You scared the living shit out of me. Don’t ever do that again!“.

„What? Say hello?“, he smiles and Y/N just rolls her eyes in response.

„I guess, it’s just you and me.“, Y/N points out and hopes that John was mentally preparing himself for what’s going to happen the next time they see each other again: “John said there’s some sort of Sketch, waiting here...but I can’t find one.“

„John texted you too?“, Y/N asks and her eyes widen: “Maybe he made a mistake?“.

„Nah, I don’t think so.“.

An awkward silence falls upon the two and after a few seconds Y/N walks over to her computer: “Maybe he sent me the script via E-Mail, let me check.“. Meanwhile, Pete sits down on the little couch and watches her.

„You should get a bigger couch.“, he exclaims and when Y/N looks up from the screen, he smiles at her. It makes her cheek blush and she quickly hides her face beneath the computer.

„Now... how’s life treating you?“, Pete asks and lays down, he stares at the ceiling.

Y/N sighs: “It’s okay, I guess. What about you? I heard you’re currently dating this actress. Kate. How’s that working out?”.

„No.“, he replies: “I’m not, we- well, she broke up with me a month later. I feel like they all think I’m a great guy until they date me and discover what a mess I truly am. Or maybe it’s the fact that Ariana said my dick is huge so- they want to check that out themselves. I don’t know.”.

The young woman stops typing and looks at Pete again, she leans back in her chair: “I hope you know, that’s not true.”.

“How do you know? I never showed you my dick. Or did I? If I-.”.

“Pete, you’re not a mess, you just have some mental health issues. If these women can’t 'handle' you that’s not your problem but theirs. You are a great guy and every girl would be lucky to have you by their side... I can’t seem to find an email, I’ll call John.“.She gets up from her chair and leaves the room: “I’ll get myself a cup of coffee afterward, you want some?.“.

Pete, speechless by her words slowly sits up straight on the couch. He never expected someone to say something so kind about him. He gets up and leaves the room. At the end of the hallway stands Y/N, slightly slapping the coffee machine.

„I can’t reach John, and this stupid machine isn’t working-.“, she says, frustration audible in her voice.

„Did you mean what you just said?“,he asks and Y/N looks up.

She stares at him for a few seconds: “Yeah, why-?“.

„This might sound ridiculous.”, he starts, crosses his arms, and leans against the wall:” But... did John talked to you about asking me out for a date?”.

As soon as the words leave his mouth the color on Y/N’s face disappears. She can feel how her mouth runs dry and her hands start to sweat.

“Because he talked to me about asking you out. And-.”.

“What did you say to him?”.

He wrinkles his forehead:” Of course, I said no.”.

“Oh.”.

Y/N can feel it. She can feel how her heart is breaking in ways she didn’t know were possible. If dying of a broken heart was a real thing, maybe now it would happen to her.

“Of course.”, she repeats his words and scratches her eyebrow.

“Yeah, I mean- you wouldn’t date me either. That’s probably what you told John.”, Pete chuckles but stops when he sees Y/N’s facial expression. His eyes widen:” Shit, no.”, he says, almost like a whisper.

Y/N rushes past him into her office before the tears are falling. She didn’t care. Not now.

“Y/N- I...”, he starts but the girl shakes her head.

“Go Home, Pete. I’ll call John and tell him I didn’t find the script.”.

“I just assumed we were on the same page.”, he says, ignoring what she just said:” Like, look at you and look at me- I’m too much of a jerk for someone like you!”.

“Excuse me?“, she replies, her voice growing louder with every second passing: “Since when do you decide what’s best for me?“.

„I don’t want you to get hurt, I’m difficult. Fuck, Y/N, you know that. We’ve been working together for such a long time now. If we would get together, I don’t know if I could survive you thinking the same way these girls think about me now.“.

Y/N sighs and crosses her arms in front of her chest, as if she was trying to protect the last bit of her heart: “You’re right, we shouldn’t get together.“.

„W-what?“.

„Pete.“, she slowly takes his hand, her voice breaking: “You need to work on your mental health, you can’t just jump from one relationship into the next. That’s unhealthy. But... I will help you. I will be there for you until you’re truly ready to date again.“.

A soft smile spreads on his lips: “That sounds good.“, he leans down: “One kiss, though?“.

„Sure.“, she replies:” You can get more than one..”.And when their lips meet, it feels better than she could have ever imagined.

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