#(talking from personal experience where I started adding a sleep schedule and routine eating times so I don’t forget to do these things.)

[genshinmaburp]

Alhaitham who is a student at the akademiya, has exams coming up, and cannot remember where he left his keys or when he last ate so he has to make note of it somewhere every now and again. Him trying to keep a schedule over time so he doesn’t forget to take care of himself while he’s thinking of correlations and causations and the next paper he has to write. Just Alhaitham living alone without his grandma for the first time and realizing that no one else will look out for him (not necessarily in a self pitying way), so he has to build a routine schedule for himself to live a good life.

#alhaitham has high stress management bc whenever he gets stressed about something he rationalizes it #but I think one of this biggest problems with people who rationalize everything is u tend to forget to take care of yourself #I think that’s probably how he started building off his schedule #(talking from personal experience where I started adding a sleep schedule and routine eating times so I don’t forget to do these things.) #I hc alhaitham as an insomniac until he figured out scheduled sleeping #genshin impact #alhaitham #this is all with the thought that his grandmother spoiled him #but there’s always the possibility his routine schedule is smth his grandmother implemented on him as well! #his routine schedule might also just be a copy and paste of his grandmothers! #he likely also doesn’t follow it to a tea in consideration of how bro goes out to the desert at random to experiment/research privately #also he’s a napper how did I forget

[doctorstethoscope]

The Right Chapter Nine || Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Hello and happy Tuesday besties! ICYMI, I posted a bit of smutty goodness for all of you 18+ folks here. If you’d like to be added to my general Hotch fic taglist please let me know! 

Read previous chapters of this fic here! 

contains: canon-typical discussion of violence, food mention, therapy, cuddling. 

wc: 2k

When you woke up the next morning, there were flowers in a vase on your bedside table. You’re smiling before you’ve even wiped the sleep away from your eyes, grabbing the sticky note that was stuck to the vase. 

“Would’ve sent these to your desk, but figured that wouldn’t go unnoticed by a team of behavior experts. Hope they made you smile anyways. -AH

An expert on behavior and he was only hoping that he could make you smile, you laughed to yourself, rolling out of bed and finding Aaron in the kitchen with a mug of coffee, packing Jack’s lunch. 

“When did you find the time to do that, Hotchner? Don’t you ever sleep?” You asked, and he looked up at you, breaking out in a smile. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He shrugs, looking back down to his carrot slices as you cross the kitchen in pursuit of a cup of coffee. He places the knife down and tugs you closer to him by the palm of your hand so he can drop a kiss to the top of your head. It makes you feel warm all over. You hear the insistent smacking of small feet on hardwood and step away from Aaron in an instant, not wanting to be caught by Jack. 

“Morning bud,” Aaron calls across the kitchen. Jack responds with a yawn, which makes you giggle. He smiles at you. 

“Are you gonna have to go catch bad guys again?” He asks. “I missed you and dad.” 

“Oh little man, we missed you too! We probably won’t get called away today but I can’t say for sure. If dad and I come home tonight, do you want to have a special movie night so we can all spend some time together?” 

Jack nods ferociously, and practically starts buzzing with excitement. “Can we watch monsters inc?” 

“Oh, that’s one of my favorites!” 

“Dad?” Jack looked to his father for confirmation. 

“Of course, bud. But you’d better eat all of these carrots I’m packing in your lunch if you want a treat.” Aaron smiled at Jack, who agreed easily. “Come on, we don’t want to miss the bus.” He said, ushering Jack out the door with a Danimals and an orange while you finished getting ready. You were struck for a moment by how easily you had slid into the Hotchner boys’ morning routines, and you realized that you would miss it once you found your own place. But it was for the best-- you hoped that you and Aaron would be serious enough to consider living together, but you didn’t want to force it too early in the relationship and cause problems. 

When Aaron comes back, you’re dressed and ready to head off to work. He grabs his briefcase and suit jacket off of one of the chairs at the kitchen table. 

“D’you eat?” He asked as he pulled his jacket over his arms.

“I had coffee. I’m not a big breakfast person.” You tell him, surprised that he hasn’t already noticed this about you.

“Grab a fruit.” He tells you. 

“Did you eat?’ You ask him, and the tips of his ears turn pink. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, Hotchner. Why don’t you grab a fruit.” You teased, tossing him an orange from the bowl and tucking a banana into your purse as you stepped out the door, with Aaron locking up behind you. He wrapped his free arm around your waist as the two of you walked to the car.

“I have something to tell you, and you’re going to be mad at me.” Aaron confesses about halfway through your drive to work. 

“Ah, so that’s what the flowers were about.” You said facetiously. 

“No, the flowers were from your boyfriend, this news is from your boss.” He clarifies. 

“Oh?” You asked, needing him to explain more. 

“You’ve got a psych eval this morning.” He confesses and you groan. 

“Ugh, Hotch, really?” 

“Even if we could ignore what happened with Josh-- which, for the record, you shouldn’t-- you were held hostage by an unsub.”

“For like, twenty minutes!” You interrupted him. 

“It’s bureau policy, dear. There’s nothing I can do about it.” 

“And you can’t just say that you gave me the psych eval and I passed?” 

“No,” he tells you, sighing. “For us to be together, we need to keep everything above board. Hopefully no one starts on a warpath when we decide we’re ready to share this, but if they do, I don’t want to give them any reason to undermine your professional credibility by arguing I gave you special treatment.” 

You’re a little bit stunned by Aaron’s use of “when” rather than “if.” It’s not in a bad way, of course-- it’s actually, really, really good, to hear that he’s just as in it as you are, even if you hadn’t expressed it very well yet. The idea that he’s already thinking about the future-- even if it is your professional future, not exactly a white-picket-fence kind of future-- gives you butterflies. You realize you’ve waited too long to respond when Aaron speaks up again. 

“I understand if that’s a lot for you to take on, or if that makes you rethink things. I wouldn’t hold it against you if you decided this wasn’t worth the potential professional issues.” He adds nervously, clearing his throat. You reach over and put a hand on his thigh. 

“I think you’re worth the risk,” you smile at him, and watch him release a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

 “Thanks for coming in,” Laura, one of the FBI’s resident psychologists said as you settled into the couch in her office. You err on the side of politeness and decide not to point out that you didn’t really have a choice. 

“Not a problem,” you smiled at her. 

“So how are you feeling?” She asked. 

“I’m good. I’m happy to be back at work, and to get my field clearance back. I’ve missed it.” You tell her.

“That’s right, you’d been removed from the field for a head injury.” She said, peering over your file. “Service related?” 

“No, I fell down a flight of stairs,” you lied, hoping she couldn’t read you as easily as Aaron could. 

“Hmm, so you travelled with the team even though you weren’t cleared for field work?” She asks, and you’re pretty sure you’re not imagining the judgement in her tone. 

“I didn’t go into the field. I stayed at the police station, in compliance to orders from my doctor and from Chief Hotchner. Unfortunately, the field came to me,” you attempted to make a joke. She didn’t laugh. 

“Was it not possible for your duties to be completed from Quantico?” 

“No, it wasn’t. The behavioral analysis unit works as a team-- we’re able to determine profiles as successfully as we do because we collaborate. My efforts, and the work of my team, would have been severely hindered if I had stayed behind.” You answer mechanically, trying, and most likely failing, to not sound defensive. “I fail to see how that’s relevant to my experience with Alec Gordon.” 

“I’m just trying to determine if you’re engaging in a pattern of self-endangering or careless behavior.” Laura answers honestly.

“I can assure you that my attitude regarding my work and the work of my team is anything but careless.” You bite back.

“You came back to work very quickly after your concussion.” She says, and it’s not a question, so you don’t take the bait. “Any particular reason for that?” 

“I felt ready to return, and Chief Hotchner was willing to accommodate my need to work partial days until I was fully recovered, so on the advice of my physician I returned to work on a modified schedule.” 

“Agent, I don’t need to tell you that withholding information in our session or on the forms you filled out prior to our appointment today, will only hurt you.” 

“With all due respect, I haven’t withheld anything and I resent the implication.” 

“Very well, agent. I will have a complete evaluation sent to your supervisor by the end of the business day.” 

“Thank you for your time,” you smiled, trying to make it look real. 

“The door is always open, agent.” 

“So, you kind of beat me to the punch this morning,” Aaron tells you as you’re walking out of the office together. 

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“Well, the flowers were a part of my master plan to get you to agree to come to dinner with me tonight, but it seems you’ve made other arrangements with my son.” He smirks at you as you both climb into his SUV. 

“I guess now you know where you stand in the ranking of Hotchner boys.” You tease him. 

“It won’t get me ahead of Jack, I know, but will you let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night?” 

“Aaron,” you laughed. “You don’t need to take me out to dinner.” 

“Yes, I do.” He tells you.

“We already live together. You’re going to have dinner with me regardless of whether or not we eat it at a restaurant.” You tell him, gesturing to his place as he parked the car.

“Maybe so, but you’ve already decided that we won’t be living together much longer. I care about you, and I want to spend time with you, and I’d like to take you out to dinner.” He said, shifting to face you now that the car was stopped.

You rolled your eyes fondly, feeling yourself blush. “I’ll allow it.” 

“God, it’s like pulling teeth,” Aaron muttered sarcastically, breaking out into a grin as you laughed.

You both got out of the car and headed inside, where Jess and Jack were working on a puzzle at the kitchen table. 

“Dad!” Jack says, looking up to see his father and abandoning the puzzle, launching himself into his father’s arms. 

“Hey, buddy. Did you have a good day?”

“Yes, and I ate all my carrots so that I could have a special treat while we watch Monsters Inc.” 

“He’s been waiting to tell you that all afternoon,” Jess laughed, standing up from the table and crossing to you to give you a hug. When Haley died, you and Jess got a lot closer, through Jack. “It’s good to see you,” she says as she squeezes you. 

“You too.” You smile. “I’ve got to go change into my special movie night clothes,” you smirked, leaving Jess, Jack and Aaron in the kitchen.

“Jack, why don’t you go put on your pajamas, and we’ll start the movie in a little bit?” Aaron suggested, and Jack scampered off towards his room. 

“Do you plan on ever telling that girl how you feel about her, or are you just going to look at her like she hung the stars in the sky for the rest of your life?” Jess asks Aaron bluntly. 

“I can’t possibly be that obvious.” 

“Aren’t you literally a behavior expert?” 

“It’s being handled, Jess.” He assures her with a quick grin as you emerge from your room in soft flannel pants and a tank top. 

“Do you want to stay, Jess? We’re just gonna order a pizza and veg out.” 

“I wish I could. But you kids have fun.” She said, looking between you and Aaron. Jack comes running out of his room to give his aunt a kiss goodbye and you all settle on the couch. 

Jack inserts himself in the middle of you and Aaron on the couch, a slice of pizza on a paper plate in front of him with the promise of ice cream later on. Aaron’s arm rests across the back of the sofa and his hand plays gently with the hair at the nape of your neck. You tilt your head in his direction, pulling Jack into your lap so you can scoot closer as the movie plays on. Jack falls asleep before you can even get him his ice cream, and you take the opportunity to rest your head on Aaron’s shoulder, his arm wrapping around your shoulder and tracing comforting patterns into the skin of your upper arms until the credits roll.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x y/n #aaron hotchner x you #hotch x you

[k-comfyspace]

Plan

Star: Jo Haseul (Loona)

Idea: Yes

Love: Hi cause recent news that Haseul is finally back could you do a Haseul x 13th fem!member. Where reader has been sad and overwhelmed lately, added that Haseul is gone so she cries to her members sometimes but when Haseul comes back to the dorm again reader is super happy? Thanks! I love you a lot!

A/n: Haseulllllllllll, thank you for requesting!!!

Sorry if I went on a little tangent love my head is in space again😅Hope you still like it!

You wrapped your arms around the older girl hugging her back as a giggle escaped past her lips, “Don’t forget to get some rest okay?”

Pulling away Haseul cupped your cheeks, frowning at your obvious tired state which made you roll your eyes and playfully pushed her away when you saw the worry and concern, “Yes mom,”

The small sounds of her laughter never failed to make you smile as Haseul waved at you and the others before she left the dorm after exchanging one more set of goodbyes.

When the door closed all of the girls got back to their own business, you walked back to your room sighing when you saw the stacked books and notebooks that you left on the table.

You padded towards your desk, sitting on the chair as you wore your glasses and took one book, your mind focusing on your task as you zoned out from everything.

A few hours later your door opened but you were too occupied to realize it until someone pulled the book out of your hands, you jumped back, hand on your chest as you looked at Kahei who glanced at you with concern,

“Unnie, you scared me!” you exclaimed, the older girl furrowing her eyebrows before she noticed piles of books on your desk.

“I knocked on your door multiple times, Y/n” carefully Kahei placed the book down as you breathed out, heart slowing down after the scare.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice, I was focusing too much,” you reasoned, a yawn leaving your lips as Kahei looked at you with concern, “Let’s eat dinner, so you can sleep,” she said, pulling you by the arm and you couldn’t resist, seeing the time on the clock you were surprised that it was already so late.

Jungeun and Sooyoung were in the kitchen, chatting with each other before their attention had shifted to you.

Frowns etched into their faces when they saw the fatigue in your face, the yawning that followed while you rubbed your eyes through your glasses didn’t help as Kahei sat you down before she prepared you some food.

The blonde and the brunette ended their talk and took the seats in front of you, observing as you kept nodding off, your eyes fighting to stay open as you mumbled to yourself, when Kahei came back she gave you a plate with a glass of water, also sitting beside you. Silence surrounded all of you as they let you eat,

“Are you doing okay, Y/n?”

Sooyoung was the first to break the silence, voicing out the thoughts that everyone had as you glanced up to see them looking at you with a certain look you knew far too well,

“I’m fine,” you said with a tired smile on your face, not giving any assurance to your members at all but when you saw them get filled with more worry you sigh and gave them a reassuring smile,

“I promise when I need help I would ask for you or anyone in the dorm,” you said, giving them your full smile which made their worries lessen as they sighed and looked at one another.

“We just don’t want you overworking yourself,”

You understood their concern because they’ve been seeing how hard you’ve worked, the hours you spent in the company trying to perfect the routines and the late nights that you’ve spent working on your projects, it made them worry because lately you’ve been getting too exhausted that they’re getting worried for your health.

When you finished your meal, Sooyoung volunteered to wash your plates as Kahei ushered you to your room, making sure that you were going to sleep and not work on anything because you still had a schedule tomorrow.

Hearing the door shut the three sighed, all thinking about your well being as they pondered about your situation,

“I hope Y/n’s taking care of herself,” Sooyung muttered after she was finished, sitting with the other two who only nodded in agreement, “She’s too stubborn,” Jungeun commented as they all glanced to the hallway.

Looking at your door before they debated on what to do with you. They all made a promise to their leader, to take care of you and make sure you weren’t overworking yourself.

Haseul knew how stubborn you were to finish a task even if you were already dead tired, she often stayed with you at nights just to make sure you didn’t stay up finishing something you could be doing tomorrow.

So she made sure that before she left she could entrust her fellow leaders to take care of you, even talking with Kahei because she knew that you two were close, considering you two were foreigners and often bonded to learn Korean when you were trainees.

“Let’s just go to sleep, we have schedules tomorrow,” Sooyoung said, glancing at the two who smiled and bid her goodnight, each of them going back to their separate rooms and calling it a night.

—

“Alright, water break!” Sooyoung announced, everyone choosing a corner to sit and drink their water as they rested.

But you didn’t sit as you only drank your water and went near the mirror, trying to redo the part you were struggling at, but everytime you attempted it, one foot would always be off and if you were to perfect the feet your arms would be wrong, at some point you were so frustrated that you decided to ask for someone's help,

“Haseul unnie can you help me?”

All of your members became quiet, staring at you as you didn’t seem to notice what you said, repeating the move as you mumbled to yourself every time you got it wrong,

“Unnie can you--” raising your head you met all their eyes, worry obviously present, you furrowed your eyebrows for a minute before you realized what you said.

Your eyes were quick to drop to the floor, lips pursed as you stared back into the mirror, a sigh leaving your lips.

It wasn’t the first time that this had happened, accidentally calling your leader because you struggled. It was a natural instinct, to call for the older girl as she had been the one to always take care of you.

Though the others also help you it was something about your leader that made you warm up to her more than the others, there were a few times where you accidentally did it.

Everyone understood at first, you had a connection with Haseul. Now they were getting concerned because of the frequency that it had been happening, they knew you were always happy being around the older woman.

It was practically visible how you always lit up when she was around, because you were used to her being by your side, constantly nearby when you needed her.

When they saw the way your shoulders sagged, Jiwoo was the first to stand from her place, walking behind you and wrapping her arms around your waist.

She nuzzled her head in the crook of your neck, you closed your eyes, embracing her warmth before you suddenly felt more pairs of arms enveloping you into a hug.

The girls all hugged you, making sure you knew they were there as you slowly started to tear up, truth be told you were struggling a lot. Not only did the hiatus of your leader affect you, but you also had been feeling overwhelmed because of all the work you’ve been doing.

With the countless schedules that you had to do, it gave you less time to work on your projects. Which resulted in you having to stay up late just to finish it.

They all hugged you and tried to take all your pain away, they knew it was hard, being an idol while also going through school. Though some of them didn’t experience it they can observe and see that you’re really struggling but you still try to hide the fact.

So all they could do is hug you and assure you that they were always with you, whenever you needed it.

—

Haseul was laying on her bed, scrolling through her phone and the messages in the group chat while she caught up on everything that was happening back at the dorm. Making sure that everyone was safe and sound.

She was about to put her phone down when she got another message from Sooyoung.

Haseul opened it and thought that the brunette would only check up on her but seeing as she mentioned your name worry started to build up inside her.

But as the conversation went on, a frown etched into her face, lowering and lowering until the end of Sooyoung's message. She told Haseul about everything you’ve been going through, saying that girls have been worrying non stop about you because of the tiredness that you’ve been feeling.

That you’re still stubborn and choose to hide it from them even if it was very clear that you were already so tired every time they see you.

Haseul had her ways of figuring out if you were hiding something, she knew you like the back of her hand, she knew when you were lying and when you tried to hide something.

She speculated something based on your tired state every time she went to the dorms. She brushed it off at first but now having gotten the story and confirmation from Sooyoung she stood up, a bright smile on her face when she already had the solution in her head.

The following day everyone seemed extra sweet, helping you start your day as they became more careful and smiley around you.

A part of you expected it, knowing that your members would do anything to make you smile and happy, but even if you knew it would happen you were still so happy so receive all the loving gestures that they would show you throughout the morning until you were dropped off to school.

At the end of the day you exited the gates, searching for the van but there was a crowd of people blocking most of the view. You didn’t think much about it, knowing that most of your fellow idols are always carrying a crowd behind them but you didn’t expect someone to grab your wrist.

You turned quickly and planned to throw your books at the person but instead Heejin greeted you as she gave you a smile, you furrowed your eyebrows at the older girl before you asked,

“Unnie? What are you--” Heejin didn’t let you finish as she pulled you away walking towards the crowd, as it parted to reveal the source of the attention was your own members.

Smiling brightly as they saw you heading towards them while you had to double take to make sure that you were seeing it correctly.

They giggled at your dumbfounded expression, “W-what are you doing here?” you asked them and they only showed you a sly grin,

“We just want to pick up our maknae. Is that so wrong?” Jinsoul replied but the smile on her face made you suspicious, “Don’t mind her, we thought it would be better if all of us go at the same time,”

Sooyoung interjected, pushing the girl away making everyone giggle, including you as they finally saw your full smile, eyes turning into crescents and nose crinkling which made them smile in delight.

A few hours later you came back to the dorms, body aching as you pushed yourself to the limits.

Not only did you have your sports fest earlier in the morning, but you also had to finish your choreography which had to be repeated several times because of some mistakes and revisions.

Opening the door you lazed past the hallway, going to the living room to crash on the couch but your whole body came to a stop as you suddenly felt wide awake, Haseul stood in the middle, a smile on her face before she opened her arms to you.

Without hesitation you bolted towards her, jumping into her embrace as she tried to balance herself, failing and landing on the couch with you on top of her.

The laugh that registered in your ears made you smile so wide that Haseul mirrored it, wrapping her arms around you just as tight and hugged you, melting in her arms you sighed and pushed your face to the crook of her neck sighing as you inhaled the familiar scent,

“I missed you so much,” you muttered softly, making the older sift her hand through your hair as she closed her eyes.

The rest could only watch with bright smiles, seeing you and Haseul happy as ever while you held each other.

It was everything they ever wanted, the two people who would constantly make them happy, their source of joy and energy, leader and maknae both happy and giggling as they rested on the couch.

—

Throughout the night you couldn’t wipe the smile on your face, not that you wanted to as you stuck beside your leader and when Haseul announced that she would be moving back to the dorm you couldn’t hold in your squeal as you and the other girls pounced on the older girl.

Surprised and happy at the news as all of you trapped her in a hug, cheering and celebrating as you ate happily. Joyous that you would have your leader back at the dorm again.

When you finished eating all of you went to wash up, planning to rest early since you had a rest day tomorrow because everything was essentially done.

Once you left your bathroom your gaze landed on the sudden stack of books which reminded you of what you have to do, the smile on your face dropped just in time for the door to open, Haseul peeking in and seeing the frown on your face.

“Hey,” you turned your head to the door, seeing the girl enter and close the door behind her. Approaching you before she held your hands in her own,

“What’s wrong?” she asked, your eyes moving to your desk, making the older follow your gaze as her own expression lowered before she pulled you towards your bed.

“Listen to me Y/n, you’re hardworking we all know that, but please don’t forget to take a rest,” Haseul said, cupping your cheeks as she brushed under your eyes, frowning at the dark circles that already formed. You closed your eyes and leaned into her hand, the warmth radiating from her forcing a sigh out of you.

Haseul glanced at the stacks of books, a smile reappearing on her face as an idea formed in her head, pulling away the older girl who waited until you opened your eyes.

Seeing the smile on her face made you confused but she was quick to pull you up and lead you to your desk, sitting down she smiled and got a book of her own, seeing the older woman's plan you had to smile. Thoughtful that she would do that as you reached for your glasses and put them on.

“Where do we start?” she asked as you looked at your sticky notes and told her where, you opened your book and started your own work, butterflies floating in your stomach as you couldn’t help but glance at the older in admiration, thankful that she would help you.

When you glanced down Haseul raised her head, she noticed your stares here and there, she found it cute each time she would see the smile on your face then after a minute she called you.

Raising your head you looked at her in question as she gave you the sweetest smile,

“I missed you too.”

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #loona #loona imagines #loona scenarios #jo haseul #haseul #haseul imagines #haseul scenarios #loona haseul #➶

[genshin-garbage]

Regret and the Truth

Lumine falls for the distant alchemist, Albedo, but he doesn’t realize his feelings until it’s too late. He hurts her in a way he can’t undo and regret settles in his heart. Regret can be ignored for a while, but it always comes back.

When Lumine first saw the alchemist, her first thought was that he was really pretty. When they officially met, she found the rumors about his coldness to be unfounded. He was quite pleasant to work with and engaged in conversation avidly. Albedo wasn’t shy about asking questions about her nature as a traveler of worlds, and was curious about her biology. She initially chalked this up to being about his research, but as the questions became more and more personal, she couldn’t help but be curious about him in turn.

Over time, their talks started to resemble normal conversations people have to get to know each other. Questions like: what are your hobbies and what’s your hometown like. Lumine eventually forgot how insatiable his curiosity really is and came to consider him a close friend, later even developing feelings for him. She went to visit his camp on Dragonspine whenever she was free, and when she had to stop by the Knights of Favonius headquarters she always asked if he was there.

It didn’t take long for most of the knights to realize Lumine’s crush, Klee especially was excited as she wanted to see the honorary knight be happy with her big brother. Aside from Klee, the knights generally supported her. A few who were closer to Albedo however, were a bit hesitant and tried to steer her away from him. Sucrose and Timaus in particular tried to tell Lumine about his one-track mind, and how he has a hard time understanding normal emotions. However, Lumine’s feelings couldn’t be stopped and those who were reluctant do eventually stop trying to sway her.

There came a day when Lumine had finally worked up the courage to confess her feelings with the support of her friends (and maybe a little bit of alcohol). It was sunset and Albedo had been collecting research materials in Dragonspine, she was a bit tipsy and waiting for him in his lab.

“Hm? Lumine? What are you doing here?”

“Albedo I, I need to tell you something.”

“Yes?”

Lumine approaches him, she was too nervous to look him in the eyes. “I, I like you a lot!”

“Hmm, I see. Then I wonder…” He leans over and kisses her. Lumine doesn’t kiss back out of surprise but quickly leans into the kiss. Their hands roam each other's bodies as they kiss, feet taking them to the couch nearby. As Albedo lays her down on the sofa, he kisses her down her neck and leads the night in a more passionate direction.

Lumine wakes up naked next to Albedo. Her head stung a little but she remembers clearly what had transpired. She blushes hard, she felt there was a possibility of Albedo returning her affections but she didn’t expect the night to turn in that direction. It felt good though and she doesn’t regret it. He never properly said he liked her back however, which irked her a bit, but there was still time. She feels Albedo stir below her, one hand moving from her waist to rub the sleepiness out of his eyes.

“Mhmmm, good morning.” He sits up carefully so as to not push her off the couch.

“Good- good morning.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I feel great. A bit sore but I really enjoyed last night.”

“Nothing out of the ordinary? No changes anywhere?”

“No?” She hesitated, dread washing over her. “Last night, you never really told me how you felt.”

“About that, I don’t want you to misinterpret my actions. I was merely curious about your biology and how your kind reacts to romantic interest, nothing more. Perhaps if the results were different we could have continued this charade a bit longer, but they turned out to be the same as any average person in Teyvat.” He reaches over to grab his shirt from the floor. “Please excuse me, I have work to do and I must record the data from this experiment.”

Lumine shifted off him but remained silent, tears began to well up in her eyes as she felt her heart be torn to shreds by every word that came out of his mouth. To him she was nothing more than an experiment, a specimen in his research to find the truth to this world. She was had, used, and now was being discarded as if she was nothing. “So last night, my confession, it all meant nothing to you? All those times you called me beautiful, was it all a lie?”

“No, not entirely. You are attractive and your company is pleasant enough.” He puts on his clothing as he speaks, his tone disinterested and his face neutral. It was clear he didn’t care what happened next or how Lumine felt. “However, beyond my research I don’t feel the need to be anymore than acquaintances. It was simply convenient to use your attraction to get a better idea of how you work.”

“I see.” Her voice cracked and Albedo turned to look at her. Tears fell down her cheeks and a fake smile plastered on her face as she put on her clothing. “I’m- I’m glad that I was at least some use to you. I, uh, I need to go. Paimon must be wondering where I am. Goodbye.”

She rushes out the door leaving a surprised Albedo alone in the lab. While he did expect her to be upset, he didn’t expect her to still treat him with such kindness. He expected her to beat him screaming at him for playing with her emotions. He felt a tinge of regret before smothering it, there wasn’t time for regret in the pursuit of knowledge. It was a necessary step in getting the data he needed. Still, the hurt expression lingered in his mind as he planned out his new routine until the people of Mondtstadt forgot about this incident.

The next few weeks, Lumine was emotionally absent. It was hard not to notice how she robotically went through commissions, taking more of them as well as bounties. Paimon noticed that what little sleep she did get on a daily basis was cut from her schedule, and that she had started eating less. Whenever anyone asked what was wrong, she would always say that she was fine. They knew it had something to do with Albedo, but he was more elusive than usual. He was the last to come and first to leave during meetings, all of his experiments now took place in Dragonspine, and his time spent babysitting Klee was now spent studying the area around Star Snatched Cliff.

One night, they had finally had enough and managed to convince Diluc to let Lumine drink in hopes that some alcohol in her system would finally get her to tell them what was wrong. He agreed, and so Lisa, Jean, and Amber took Lumine out on a girls night out while Diluc manned the bar.

Lisa was the first to prod after Lumine was decently drunk. “So Lumine, What happened between you and Albedo? You haven’t asked about him in a long while. Did your confession not go well?”

“He- he doesn’t like me in that way. I’m nothing but a specimen in his research.” Lumine takes another long sip of her drink. “He said it himself, ‘beyond my research I don’t feel the need to become anything beyond acquaintances’.”

“I have a feeling that if he had simply rejected you, you wouldn’t be this upset.” Jean stated. “Something else happened between you two. You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, but as your friends we want to help you in any way we can.”

“Yeah! Like Jean said! We all hate seeing you all mopey and sad! If Albedo did anything to you I’ll make it my personal mission to set Barron Bunny on him!” Amber added, crossing her arms to exaggerate her point.

Lumine, touched by their words, and incredibly hammered at this point, began to cry. “Tha-thank you guys. I- after I confessed we spent the night together, it was consensual and I enjoyed it, but the morning after he admitted that he only slept with me as part of his research. I- I really thought he liked me back, but he used me! I feel like there’s something wrong with me! I feel so dumb for falling for him, Sucrose and Timaus even warned me! Am I just not good enough? I thought I had a chance, but I was so foolish for thinking I was good enough. Why would he fall for someone like me? I’m nothing but an outlander!”

The rest of her words become unintelligible babble and wails. Amber held her in a tight hug as she bawled her eyes out. Looks were shared between the three women and Diluc as a roaring rage began to burn in their eyes. How dare he use Lumine like this. How dare he play with her feelings, then cast her aside like a toy. Any sort of respect they had for the alchemist beyond his genius had dissipated in the wind.

It wasn’t long before everyone in Mondstadt knew what had happened. He found the increased difficulty in obtaining items in shops and finding people to assist him irritating but not unexpected. He didn’t care about the glares from adults, but the questions from Klee did sting.

“What did big brother do to big sis Lumine to hurt her feelings? Klee can go get Jean and see if she can help big brother make up with Lumine!”

“It’s ok Klee, I’m sure Jean and Lumine have better things to do.”

“But-”

“Klee, it's fine. How about you go play outside.”

“Ok…”

As Klee exited the lab, Sucrose came in. She had an anxious look and was fidgeting. “Master Albedo? Do you have a moment? I wish to speak to you about something.”

“Very well, what is it Sucrose?”

“Why- why did you do that to Lumine? There were other ways to get the data you wanted without hurting her. So why did you do it?”

“It was simply the most convenient way at the time, and the data I collected was easier to analyze since I didn’t have to rely on a third party. It was simply easier to get objective information.”

Sucrose clearly didn’t like that answer as her body tensed up and her face had a hurt expression. “I see. I’ll leave you be then. I won’t be available to assist you for a while. I hope your research was worth Lumine’s pain.”

She stormed off in a quiet rage and left Albedo alone in the lab. He seemed to be alone more, he attributed it to the lack of hands helping him but he knew deep down it was because Lumine wasn’t there anymore. For the second time, regret flared up in his heart before he smothers it again. If loneliness was a consequence of getting closer to the truth, then he shall make himself the loneliest man alive.

The month after the confrontation with Sucrose, he overhears that the traveler had returned from Liyue with someone. He pays this no mind until he sees her with the man himself. An ugly feeling rears its head as he sees her laughing and smiling with a green haired man. If Albedo hadn’t been so observant he would have thought the man to be annoyed by her presence, but he notices how soft his eyes look at her and how he stands in a position ready to protect her if anything were to suddenly happen. When the man pulls a fallen leaf out of her hair, the ugly feeling grips harder.

Before he can stop, he realizes that he’s walking towards them. It’s too late to turn around as they notice him. “Welcome back, Lumine. May I ask who this is?”

Lumine shifts uncomfortably in place, she turns to hide herself a little. “Oh, uh, hello. This is Xiao, Xiao this is Albedo.”

“Is he the one you’ve spoken about in the past?” Xiao’s expression has lost its softness as he looks at Albedo.

Lumine hesitates to answer the question, nervous of his reaction. “Yes… yes he is.” She grabs his arm when she sees him tense up. “Please don’t do anything, it’s in the past. I just want to forget it happened.”

“Hmph, fine.”

“I shall take my leave. Enjoy your stay in Mondstadt and a pleasure to meet you Xiao.”

“I cannot say likewise.” He growls.

As Albedo walks away, he sees in the reflection of a store window that Lumine had kissed Xiao on the cheek.  Flustered Xiao turns away, but not without holding her hand in return.

“That could have been me.” The thought stakes its claim in his mind. As much as he tries and tries, he can’t smother the feeling of regret in his heart. He loves Lumine, but he hurt her, and now he can never have her. When he turned into his lab, he sunk down onto his knees and truly let the feeling sink in. He was a genius but clearly he still had much to learn, he just wished he had realized sooner what his teacher truly meant when she told him to learn the truth to this world.

He closed his eyes and hoped that if he were to ever be reborn he wouldn’t make the same mistake again, then let the darkness consume him.

#genshin impact albedo #genshin albedo #gi albedo #genshin impact lumine #genshin lumine #gi lumine #genshin impact xiao #genshin xiao #gi xiao #albelumi #albedo x lumine #lumine x albedo #xiaolumi #lumine x xiao #xiao x lumine #genshin impact #genshin #gi

[rant-2-me]

My mental state has just worsened over the days, though I'm not sure why, and I just feel so unmotivated and lacking any energy to practice any self care other than napping, and also feel anxious because I'm not studying enough.. feel like I'm just 1/4th assing my responsibilities.. And when someone asks me how I'm doing, sometimes I blurt out that I'm not fine, and the guilt I feel afterwards for making them worry, so I find myself withdrawing from initiating conversation with them, even though I really want to, and this makes them worry about me more.. I just don't know anything anymore, everything feels too much, yet I can't rant in a clear conscience without feeling guilty for bothering them, and thinking how I don't deserve to complain because they have had so much worse (yes I know pain is relative, but I feel so horrible, like a whiny child, who doesn't know how to be content with her blessings)......

Sorry I know it's a lot.. feel free to delete it if it's triggering or making you uncomfortable in any way... I just needed to get it out..

My lovely nonnie, im so, so glad you sent this ask. and got it all out of your system. yeah this sounds cheesy but like ive been there, with not knowing how to reach out—im proud you had the courage to send this ask. girlboss vibes.

also this ask took a while to answer and im so so sorry about that, but I didnt want to do anything less than the best for you, so let's just jump right in <[:)

Lacking motivation, god I've been there, but doing self care is super super important so here is a how-to, hon.

How to do selfcare when you’re not motivated to:

1. Be a little “gross.”

Gross is in quotes because it’s so subjective, but you undoubtedly have a few behaviors you consider kind of gross regardless. Now’s the time to do them without judgment. For me, that’s meant showering less, eating weird food combos (sometimes in bed), and letting my brows and mustache grow magnificently unruly. For you, it could mean doing something you normally judge yourself for or cutting back on activities you only do for the benefit of others. Now is not the time to allow “socially acceptable” behaviors to rule you.

2. Eat whatever the hell you want.

This should be a rule always, but I’m not going to pretend there aren’t societal, social, and personal pressures that go into why we eat what we eat. Try to shut down the voice that judges or polices what you’re eating right now. We’re in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. If dinner has to be some slices of cheese and deli meat eaten in front of the open fridge, so be it. If you have a lot of cravings and are snacking more than you normally would, cool. If pre-pandemic you decided you were going to stick to a certain meal plan and it’s just not happening anymore? Don’t beat yourself up.

Yes, what we eat is connected to our mental health, and I don’t want to discount that—but if the stress of eating healthfully is making you feel like crap anyway, whether that’s because you can’t fathom cooking or don’t have the means to shop for certain foods during isolation, just eat the sleeve of Oreos and try again another day. It’s okay.

3. And wear whatever you want.

Or, more realistically, wear whatever you can. Even if it means wearing the same ratty sweatpants for a whole week. Or month. Maybe you started all this out aspiring to get dressed every day to work from home productively, or maybe you have a whole collection of comfortable loungewear you feel guilty for not utilizing. Whatever arbitrary rules and expectations you’ve set for yourself, you can throw them out.

On the other hand, maybe you need to quiet the voice that tells you there’s no point in getting dressed or feeling presentable. If it helps, by all means, play with your look, wear awesome or weird outfits, do your hair and makeup or whatever activity might feel a little silly given your current reality. In the middle of a pandemic, nothing is a waste of time if it makes you feel good.

4. Use shortcuts to avoid creating chores.

In my first week or so of working entirely from home, I was baffled by just how messy my apartment got. How on earth were so many messes piling up when I wasn’t even doing anything but working, sleeping, and eating? I hadn’t realized it, but a lot of my small tidying routines had become casualties to the pandemic. And, it turns out, slacking on the little ways I pick up after myself every day (such as doing the dishes right after I use them) added up quickly.

Instead of forcing myself to stick to the same levels of tidiness that I used to maintain, I’ve found shortcuts. For example, I use paper plates and plastic cutlery when I feel too fatigued to wash dishes so they don’t sit in the sink for days on end. Or I stick to the same two “outfits” to avoid clothes piling up when I’m too depressed to put them away every day. If you can find a small way to go easy on yourself, even if it feels a little wasteful or indulgent or gross, it’s okay to tap into those shortcuts right now.

5. Be kind to yourself if your place is messy or dirty.

I won’t lie: I’m someone whose space impacts my mental health a lot. Typically, keeping my apartment clean helps keep my mental health in check and letting my apartment get gross makes me feel worse. That’s still true in a lot of ways, but to adapt I’ve been trying to be mindful and accepting of where I’m at. And it’s…helped?

It turns out that taking the pressure off does a lot to mitigate the guilt and some of the other negative mental health effects I usually experience. In practice, it involves a lot of talking to myself. Instead of seeing my apartment turning into a depression cave and immediately thinking, “Oh, God, I need to clean up, this is so disgusting, I’m a monster for living like this, of course I feel depressed,” I go for kindness. I think (or even say out loud because, well, desperate times), “Of course my apartment is a mess right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it. I can handle the mess for now.”

6. Accept your new sleep schedule.

idk anyone whose sleep hasn’t been screwed in some way by all of this. Anxiety, depression, fatigue, pent-up energy from sheltering in place, tech use, new work responsibilities, screwy schedules…pretty much every aspect of our new reality can impact our sleep. Some people are sleeping a lot more, some are sleeping a lot less, and some are cycling through both extremes. Oh, and the temptation of naps! It’s all there.

Trying to maintain a healthy sleep schedule during all of this is a worthy endeavor—and more power to you if you’ve figured out how—but there’s a good chance that it feels impossible.

By “accepting” your new sleep schedule, I don’t mean pretending it doesn’t suck; I mean doing what you can to be gentle on yourself about it. For me, acceptance has looked like watching some comfort tv and reading my favourite books at 2 a.m. instead of staying in bed and anxiety-spiraling about how I can’t sleep. Is it ideal? No way. But I’m not going to waste energy stressing about something I currently can’t control.

7. Give yourself plenty of room to do absolutely nothing.

I’ve given myself permission to do a whole lot of nothing. That includes getting rid of the pressure to be productive and practice self-care, yes, but in a broader sense, it also means not forcing myself to actively “adjust” every day.

Some days, I just need to do nothing but feel my feelings. Or avoid feeling my feelings. Or stare at the ceiling. Give yourself space to do (or not do) whatever you need to.

also, nonnie? my love?

Never feel guilty about telling someone who cares about you when you don’t feel okay.

People who genuinely care about you—and I’m sure they are many—will care if you aren’t feeling good, there are always going to be people who care about you, who want you to be okay, that’s why they ask, why people make rant, why “how are you?” is such a common question.

But if you do need to talk, but you feel like you’ll “burden” people who you do talk to, here’s a guide to ranting.

Guide to ranting:

1. Pick the right person. Someone who’s in the right headspace to listen to you, you could also pick someone who cares about you—if you’re anxiety tells you nobody cares about you, pick someone who “should” care about you in your relationship, e.g: a friend you’ve had for a long time, a friend who’s told a few of their problems, or friend you might not feel close with, but seems very kindhearted and a good listener.

2. Pick the right time to talk to them, so you can have their undivided attention. If they are busy—as most people will be with something—they’ll have a hard time giving you good advice and listening to you. Ask them when they are free, and then ask them:

3. “hey, can we talk? I’m not mad or you or anything, it’s just that I have been not feeling great, and I just want to rant to someone about it.” and “No pressure to say yes, you might have your own stuff to do deal with.” to make sure they are the right person to talk to.

4. It’s ok to test the waters. Start slowly, you don’t have to share everything at once if you don’t want to.

5. You never know how your friend will react to what you say.While you can’t know how they’ll react, just remember that sometimes people’s initial reactions may come from a place of shock, surprise or not knowing what to say. Their initial reaction isn’t always their longerterm reaction, it may just take them a little time to process.

6. Look for ways to take action. Don’t get me wrong, ranting can be amazing for you, but on its own may not solve your problem.

But maybe venting to people isn’t for you. No matter! There are other ways to get out emotions:

Ways to rant without talking to anyone

1. Cry it out— simple and rewarding. When the baggage is just too heavy to carry cry it out. It can help you ease the pressure and ease your mind to think straight after days of holding that frustration in.

2. Work out — easy and fun. tire yourself out and release all the frustration in working out! This is going to be so satisfying for you as you try and punch, kick, balance, lift, and breathe those frustrations away.

3. Clean & rearrange — practical and can be fun. we get frustrated by so many things and one thing that can truly help clear our minds is to have a clean place where we can stay and live for the moment to breathe. Clean your room, rearrange your things and you’ll be surprised by the satisfaction this brings — a signal of a new beginning.

4. Scribble — simple and fun. Make scribbles, doodles, drawings, take a pen or a pencil, and let go. It does not have to be “good” art or professional at all. Just draw whatever comes to heart, sunflowers or clouds or rainbows—anything.

5. Write it down — fun and simple. Let those words out of your head and just live in the moment.

How to fight the lack of motivation.

1. Don't fight the lack of motivation.

If you feel down or unable to muster tons of energy, let it be ok. Be easy on yourself and acknowledge that it's ok to have a dip, especially at this time of the year.

2. Once you have accepted your slump, get to the bottom of it.

Ask yourself, "What is the root cause of this sluggish feeling?" Go deeper than the obvious reasons. Is it related to work? Your personal life? Relationships? It might also just be the weather. Get clear on what areas of your life you're feeling the most resistance.

3. Dig into that area. What is not ideal about this aspect of your life? What would make it better?

Make a list of how you'd like your current situation to improve--and be specific. If you truly can't find a reason to be less than enthusiastic, then accept your feelings and let them pass with time.

4. Take your list of what is missing and go through it.

What is holding you back from being able to create the things that are missing in your life?

5. Get support for creating the life you want.

Do some research and find an expert to help you. Even though they love you, friends and family aren't objective enough, and they tend to give advice that is a reflection of their own life and insecurities.

6. Think of current habits that are contributing to a less-than-ideal life.

Maybe it's fear, laziness, or not having enough confidence. Pick one to focus on.

7. Address this habit over the next 2 months.

They say it takes 28 days to create a new habit, but this varies from person to person. If you focus on it for two months, you are sure to build the neural pathways needed to call it a new way of being.

8. Buy a book, read articles or do some research on this particular behavior or feeling.

Read about the common causes of this habit as well as the proven ways to bust through and work around it.

9. Create a plan around shifting your current habit.

Make sure that changing this habit ultimately helps you move forward in the area of your life that is not ideal. The energy from clarity, awareness and then action will immediately get you feeling more motivated, no matter what.

10. When all else fails: make a list of activities that excite you, and do one of them right now.

Talk to a fun friend, dance around at home, workout, watch a funny YouTube video, tackle something on your to-do list. Accomplishing something will give you a hit of dopamine in your brain. If you're too overwhelmed by your day, sit for five minutes and meditate. Put on some soothing music and breathe.

okay, that's all nonnie, I hope you feel the lust for life in your lungs, please have all my love, i hope this helped, this ask took a while, but it was worth if it helps

and if you need to dont worry to send another ask, if you like spam the inbox!! queen!!!

take care, much love my sweet honey, bye <3

—*putting daisies in your hair as they leave* mod peppermint <[:)

#mod peppermint #ask #anon #rant

[kuriouskyna-k2]

Reflecting my time as a student

Hello everybody Good morning/Good Afternoon/ Good Evening/ Good Night whatever is your time zone.This is my first blog on my current blog account. Frankly, I am really nervous while writing so I am really sorry if this blog is not very good. But anyways let us talk about the topic of today s' blog without wasting a second.                  Reflecting on my time as a student is today s' topic well I am a student so I decided to share my experiences as a student so all students reading my blog can avoid the same mistakes I did. I have decided to write this blog a younger crowd basically for students who completed their primary schooling and are in their first year or in the second year of secondary schooling.                  The schooling years do get tough to manage especially if you do not have a guide other than your teacher like you fall behind the projects, assignments, grades, to be honest, you also fall behind your childhood like to play just in order to complete your projects and assignments and the point where you complete all of your assignments and finally are like ''Yes I finally can enjoy'' the next day you again get more assignments and again the cycle is repeated. Look in these cases you do need a guide how can like just help you to manage your time but I know just like me many do not have a guide besides your teacher I also faced the same situation I did not have any siblings and my both the parents were working. So to help you to go through your school years smoothly here are a few tips -: Time management: Time management is a very crucial component if you are willing to have a productive lifestyle. To be honest, I have always had issues with managing my time efficiently. This problem had become a huge obstacle once I got into school. Thus, attending a lecture that focuses on time management helped me a lot with this problem by introducing me to different aspects related to time management: planning, SMART goals, and important/urgent matrix. We can use to-do lists or a set timetable I personally strictly recommend a to-do list as timetable does not work most of the times as we do get bored from them as it makes our life monotonous easily We can even use leaflets to study I am sure many of us know what leaflets are or even have a few leaflets but the main point is only a few of us know how to really use them correctly so here is a format of how to use a leaflet correctly:-

Aims of the leaflet

 • Start thinking about your own time management skills and issues • Help you start reflecting on your existing responsibilities and commitments 

• Suggest effective ideas and strategies for building study into your life This leaflet is divided into the following sections: 

1. Experience and reflection 

2. Where to study 

3. Useful tools and materials 

4. Planning a term or semester 

5. Planning a week 

6. Making best use of study time This section will help you reflect on how you manage time, your priorities, and how to build in a study schedule that works for you. :- Think generally about the things you manage/juggle in your life at the moment. Think about how much you fit into your average day, including time spent on routine tasks, travel, TV, sleep, etc. Identify times in a week when you might fit in time to study Reflect on previous study habits: • What did you enjoy? Find useful? • What was hard/boring/an effort? • What helped?   The following reflective exercises are useful for the first week of your course. It takes a while to adapt to new routines and work out how to make study a priority in your life, and reflecting on your life and commitments, in general, is important. It means you can make realistic changes, based on self-knowledge about what works best for you. Keep a record, for a week of your course, of how you spend your time – it’s worth putting in all the details, truthfully. Make sure you note down:- • Course activities 

• Your own study time 

• Paid or unpaid employment 

• Relaxing/socialising/TV time 

• Exercise/recreation/shopping 

• Domestic chores/family activities 

• Travel 

• Sleeping/eating You know at the end of the day it's all about you many people like a cold environment to study so they will recommend that but for you, you need a warm environment to study so the cold environment will not work for you and again you search for perfect tips to study and again you will not like a particular tip or it's just not your need for the timing and the cycle is repeated. To get perfect tips to study from you will need to search a lot and while doing it sometimes you will spend more time on searching for the tips than actually studying because everyone is different and so are your needs for everything are different from others. But you can make your own tips. So listen up clear all tips you have collected and take a break from everything like chores studying ect for a few hours and observe yourself and after observing yourself answer the following questions:- • What times of day/week do I study best? 

• Was this a heavy week for study? Why? 

• Did I work more effectively at home? In the library? Why? 

• Did I relax when I needed to? 

• Any particular pressures this week? How did I deal with them? 

• What distracts me most? When? 

• Do I need quiet? Music? Warm/cool room? Food? 

• How often do I need breaks? (Probably more often than you think..)

• Do I work better with others or alone? 

• When do I feel energetic/alert? When not? 

• Anything I need to change/do differently next week? How?   After answering all the questions the answers you get THAT'S IT! they are your tips to study and they fit you perfectly It really is worth taking time over this. The better your awareness of your own study/time preferences, the easier it is to identify the best times/places in the week to slot in different types of study activity….and when not. Now think about: • Things you want to change or do differently • How effectively you used your study time • How to cut back on any other involvements which use time • Any change in priorities – and how to keep time for things you enjoy   THIS IS IT FOR THIS BLOG. If you think the blog was really useful then do follow for more blogs in the future 😄

Please follow me on Blogger by adding this URL on the website of Blogger  https://kynaanand.blogspot.com/

#Study Studyhub Studyhard studymotivations Student

[cheerfulmelancholies]

Medical Mechanical Ch. 9

Diana couldn't sleep. All night, thoughts of horrific scenarios and questions about her father circled her mind, relentless and troubling her to no end. She kept thinking of this one article, buried so deep in the web that one would really have to dig to find it, and how it stated MM's need for new hires stemmed from their desire to turn small towns like Lakewood into human experiment factories. It was backed by zero facts, sounded sketchier than an ad for a miracle de-aging cream and was posted by some anonymous account that could've easily been a bot. It was probably nothing more than fear-mongering lies but it just hit home too hard.

Her dad may have snapped out of it quickly this time, but what if it happened again? What if MM damaged his brain and she could never get him back to normal? She didn't want to lose her father to those freaks. She and Ethan needed info, and they needed it fast. The second it became a reasonable time to do so, she was going to text him and schedule another meet up. Questioning the locals proved to be a fruitless endeavor and searching the web for facts was impossible. They needed info straight from the source.

The idea hit her and she jolted into full awareness. Her father. He had a life before MM, before her and even before Keana. She would never get anything about the company from him but that didn't mean he'd be against talking about his childhood. Perhaps there was a perfectly good reason why he wanted to work for them all of a sudden. Some deep-rooted childhood trauma, or something they had on him. If she could just figure out why, then the pieces would start pulling themselves together.

Tomorrow then. She'd meet with Ethan, they'd try and research on their own, and when her father came back from work, if he wasn't completely out of his mind again, she would ask him about his younger years. She'd have plenty of time to work out what to say and how to say it and, if it came down to it, she'd guilt him into spending time with her.

Crisis averted, she settled down beneath the covers and finally drifted off.

Diana awoke with a stretch, yawned and looked over at her bedside clock. It was just shy of ten. She wondered if her dad had gone off to work yet or if he might get today off. He used to always get Sundays off. She hated how she couldn't recall when that had changed.

Getting out of bed, she went about her morning routine before she checked up on her father. The bedroom door was closed, a sure sign he was still in there. She cracked the door when he didn't respond to her knocking.

"Dad? You awake?"

He shifted and lifted his head. "Huh? You alright, pumpkin?" He forced himself to turn over so he could look at her, eyes struggling to focus.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to check on you after last night. How do you feel?" The light from the curtained windows was just enough that she could make out his features. He looked weary and exhausted, but he seemed to be more coherent than yesterday. He probably just didn't sleep well.

Daniel yawned and rubbed his eyes, tired and unfocused from a miserable night staring at the walls and ceiling. "I feel alright," he said, falling back onto the pillows. "I'm just really tired."

"Do you have work today?" It was odd for him not to be up. She was so used to waking up in an empty house that his lingering presence made her uncomfortable. It seemed wrong for him to still be here, somehow.

He sucked in a breath and opened his eyes. No one had given him the day off and after yesterday there was no way he'd call in sick. He'd already messed up by sleeping in. He threw the covers aside.

"Dad?"

"Sorry, honey, but I have to get going. Thanks for waking me up." He trudged to the dresser and grabbed fresh undergarments before getting a clean suit from the closet.

Diana watched him shamble towards her. "Wait, you actually have work today?" She regretted checking on him at all. The man looked like he might collapse within the hour. "You should call in sick or something. There's no way you can work like this."

He waved her off as he stepped by to get to the bathroom. "I'm fine, pumpkin, really."

"That's what you said yesterday and look at what happened." She wished she'd have left him alone to sleep. She didn't want MM to see him like this.

"I was just... tired yesterday," he said, rubbing his forehead. Still a headache, but not the thought piercing migraine it was last night. "Besides, I can't just not show up."

"I can call, if you want. I'll tell them you, uh, fell or something. Or that you have food poisoning."

"Diana, I know you mean well but I have to go. Like it or not, it's my job." He took deliberate steps down the stairs, trying not to drop his clothes in the process.

Diana watched him struggle to keep his balance. He was obviously exhausted. Why was he so determined to push through it and go to work? She wondered what they could've offered him to make him do this. It was maddening.

As the Eldorado rumbled down the driveway, Diana called Ethan.

"Morning," he said, having answered on the fourth ring.

"Hey, how's it going? How's your mom?" She was going to cut right to the chase but felt it would be rude to focus on herself first.

"It's ok. She's doing a little better. Still a bit out of it, but better. How's your father?"

She bit her lip. "I... may have messed up."

"Did something else happen?"

"No, no. He was sleeping and I went in to check on him. He's doing better but I wish I hadn't woken him up. I asked him if he had to work and he forced himself out of bed to head in. I couldn't get him to call off no matter what."

"He's... He's definitely devoted," Ethan answered, cracking the knuckles on his free hand. "Is he still messed up from last night?"

"No, he's fine. I don't think he slept well and he definitely still has a headache, but he's acting normal. I didn't want him to go in because I'm worried he'll fall over from exhaustion. I don't like the thought of them seeing what's happening to him either." She turned to the empty kitchen. He wouldn't even eat breakfast.

Ethan hummed as he thought of what to say. Finally, "Whatever they've done has turned him into a puppet."

"That's just it," she said, walking into the living room to fall onto the couch. "They aren't forcing him to work there. He WANTED to, apparently. My mom told me."

"Why would he wanna do that?"

"I don't know, and neither does she. He wasn't always like this. He used to hate Medical Mechanical, then he just did a one-eighty. And he's not even trained to work in the medical industry, that's what gets me. My mom thinks they offered him something to get him on board for research."

"Offered him what? Money? Fame? Drugs? There'd have to be one hell of a payout to get someone to be as devoted as your dad. Even my mom only works there for the check and health insurance. And what kind of research would he be doing there?"

Diana sighed. "I'm not sure. I don't know what they could've said to him either but I think it's something personal. I was thinking that if we could figure out why my dad suddenly decided to work there, then we could finally start getting some real answers."

"So, what? You're gonna ask him about his childhood or something?" He couldn't see how that would help, but she sounded like she wasn't going to budge.

"Yeah, I'll ask him if he's not off his rocker again. But I also thought that we could maybe try researching ourselves. Stuff like that is public record, right? I know MM is a medical giant but they can't just erase people. There has to be something that would point to why they were interested in him in the first place."

He hummed. As ludicrous as it sounded, they'd at least be getting some more reliable info. And maybe he could look up his mom too. "Ok, sounds good to me," he said after several moments.

"Cool. Meet me same place as yesterday? Give me, like, twenty minutes."

"Got it. See you in a bit."

"Bye." She hung up and rushed to get dressed, eating a quick bowl of cereal before getting her bike from the garage. As she walked past the empty space where her dad's car was parked, she couldn't stop herself from thinking back to when he was standing there, confused and incoherent. She forced down the worry and hoped that he would be alright.

#writing #writers on tumblr #creative writing #medical mechanical #mm #rough draft #current wip #sci fi #writeblr #wip

[immpeccablystudious]

6 Important Tips to Make Distance Learning Easier

Let me preface by saying, this post will not have the answers to any of your classes to make them easier. Distance learning and, online classes in general, are what you make of them and what you put into them. I have taken online classes for many semesters and while they were never my favorite option (especially for language classes (looking at you, French 101)), I did notice that the more time and effort that I put into those classes, the more I enjoyed and did better in them.

With the added pandemic, this is going to be harder than others, but I’m hoping that my advice from my own experiences will help you for this upcoming semester/school year!

1. Designate your study area

It seems self explanatory and that everyone is saying this and that would be because it is and they are! Having a space that is solely dedicated to work/school/studying is SO important. Whether this is in the corner of your bedroom, a room no one uses within your home, or a lap desk in your living room, make sure that you are using this space only for working. My best advice to go along with that is, if you have the means to, try to revamp your work space to be more inviting and comfortable. I don’t want you to sit in a hard, uncomfy chair for hours on end looking at a blank wall and I’m sure you don’t either. Make your study space a place that you want to be! Swap that old computer desk chair that you’ve had for 8 years for a cute, comfy one instead (this is directed 100% towards me). Add some shelving for cute plants and knickknacks. Add awards or accomplishments to help you keep pushing. If possible, add a cute wallpaper! Anything to spice up the space that you are going to be spending A LOT of time in!

2. DO NOT DO WORK IN YOUR BED

Don’t do it. I spent all that time talking about designating a study area for a reason. Sitting in your bed to do work might seem like a good idea, but in reality, all it’s going to do is make you more tired, frustrated, and less likely to actually do/remember any of the work you try to do. Your bed is made for sleeping, so keep it that way! My space is very small this academic year and it’s very tempting sometimes to leave my desk, walk the 3 feet to my bed and lie there. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Just don’t bring your work with you. Leave it where it needs to be. You want to make sure that your brain isn’t associating your bed with work which could create not so pleasant sleeping habits that keep you from relaxing when you really need to. My advice? Once you get up, stay up*. I’ve found that I’m less likely to get back in bed if I straighten my bed once I get out of it. I’ll head to the living room and watch tv or sit in the dining room and watch YouTube while drinking my coffee/eating breakfast and there’s not as much of a desire to get back in bed after that.

*Disclaimer: Naps are important. Rest is important. This is not me saying do not rest/take naps when needed. Please rest your body it’s very important!

3. Start setting things up early...like now

This includes but is not limited to: your sleep pattern, school supplies, school schedule, finances, work opportunities, etc. As an Enneagram 1w2, Capricorn moon and rising, and INFJ (and generally just a type A person), I’ve been getting ready for the semester since June. Not because I necessarily wanted to, but because over the course of the few months from leaving my community college to my new 4-year, there’s been a lot of overlapping of responsibilities that has lead me to finish with a lot of housekeeping duties early. I’m now in a 3 week limbo, where there really isn’t a lot for me to do other than to wait for professors to start posting their courses on Blackboard. But, starting early has made all the difference. I started with my sleep schedule based on my class schedule. On Mondays and Wednesdays, my first class starts at 9:35am (specific, right?) meaning that if I want to have a slow and productive morning to wake up and be ready for class, I need to naturally start waking up earlier. This is my first weekend since starting my sleep change and I have successfully done it! One thing that I wasn’t really expecting to change as much as it has been is my school supplies list. I love using pen and paper for notes - it helps me think about the subject and helps to remember what I’m learning. But with online learning, I’ve had a sudden urge to try online notes. There have been times before where I would supplement my paper ones for online but it wasn’t often and it wouldn’t last very long. My main hesitation - staring at a computer screen for SO long. Using pen and paper breaks up the amount of time I’m staring at the screen (especially if I get digital copies of my textbooks). It’s the little things, ya know?

4. Let everybody know your schedule

If you’re going to be on a Zoom session at 8am, it’s important to let your parents/guardians/siblings/relatives/friends know so that nobody walks out of their room in their puppy pajamas for the whole class to see. Embarrassing story example: I was on a Zoom meeting for an student org and my brother walked out of his room without a shirt on. I didn’t realize anyone could see him until it was too late and I could see some of the advisors chuckle. Yeah, that was not fun. There have also been times when, over the summer while working, my family would be having loud conversations in the background and I wouldn’t be able to turn my microphone off. Making sure that everyone knows the times when to be quieter is important because you want to get the most out of your classes without the distraction. I would start off with just going over your schedule, when there are times to be a little louder and when things should be a little quieter.

5. Start implementing healthy habits

This goes back to #3, sort of. I wanted this to be separate for multiple reasons. I have struggled with healthy habits for so long but one of the things that helped is setting a routine. When I get into my routine, I feel the difference when I fall off and it doesn’t feel good. For someone that has dealt with iron/vitamin deficiency, taking supplements and vitamins has been my saving grace. I used CareOf vitamins for about a year and LOVED IT. Before the semester starts I do a big grocery shop that involves getting healthy foods to cook with, not so healthy snacks to have for those late night cravings, frozen meals for a quick lunch between classes, work, and homework, and little extras - skin care, body care, etc. I love Trader Joe’s for this because it is surprisingly affordable! If you have one in your area and have never been, PLEASE take some time to stop by soon! It’s my favorite place to be.

6. Planning, planning, planning!

All of my planners are probably already very skilled on this, so for those who want to get started, this is for you! I know that the aesthetic of bullet journals and planners is cute and fun to play around with but if it doesn’t work with you, not only are wasting your money, but you’re wasting your time! One source that I feel like works universally is Google Calendar. You can customize it to use it the best way FOR YOU. Just need a reminder 15 minutes before class? You got it! Need a more detailed schedule to plan out every second of your day? You got it! Need a place to put your to-do list? You got it! Want to see a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly view? You. Got. It! Google calendar has so many bells and whistles to give you the most power and customization possible! I don’t know a single person that has used it and hasn’t loved it.

I hope that this helped at least a little bit as you all start your academic year. Of course, there are plenty of more ideas, tips, and tricks to getting off to a good but I hope these help where they can!

#studyblr #tips #distance learning #online classes #school #college #university #studying #internships #schedule #study space #engblr #enneagram 1 #classes #class

[misspincushion]

A Warm Welcome and some Starting Points

Hi, everyone! This is my very first post in a series I’ll be doing covering my experiences having and taking care of hedgehogs. I’ll be adding a breakdown of some things I’ve been asked over the years, from friends who’ve always wanted a hedgehog, but have never really known how to get started.

So, to start off with, let’s go through a few of the obvious questions people have always asked:

You can have a hedgehog for a pet?

Yes! You absolutely can! Most people tend to think that owning a hedgehog would be like owning a wild animal, and that is not the case. I believe this probably comes from a mistake in identity. 

Here’s the breakdown. There are many different species of wild hedgehogs, like the common European hedgehog, see below (from wiki):  

The domesticated hedgehog, the ones most commonly sold as pets, are African Pygmy Hedgehogs which are sometimes also called Four-toed Hedgehogs, see below (also from wiki).  

These guys are actually pretty different from their larger cousins and wild counterparts, mostly due to breeding and the environment from which they first came from. We’ll be getting more into that in other posts.

 Isn’t it illegal to keep hedgehogs as pets?

Now, this one’s a bit of a tough one to explain. The answer is both ‘Yes’ and ‘No’. For those of us who live in the USA, hedgehogs may or may not be legal in your state to keep as a pet. Sometimes, specific cities or towns have their own rules regarding hedgehog ownership. For example, it is illegal to have a domesticated hedgehog as a pet in NYC, but it is perfectly legal in the rest of the state. 

By general rule of thumb, most species, aside from the African Pygmy Hedgehog, are illegal to keep. Always double check to make sure you know the law where you live.

For those of us elsewhere in the world, same rules apply. I had a friend who moved to England who was so upset to hear that you couldn’t keep hedgehogs as pets there, at least until she realized that this rule pertained only to keeping their native species as pets. Domesticated hedgehogs are, generally, also perfectly legal there.

Remember, if you’re not sure, always check first.

Where do you even get hedgehogs?

This answer has actually changed for me over the years. It used to be far more uncommon to see them, even in exotic pet stores. Now, I see them all the time. 

However, I will stand by the claim that getting a hedgehog from a reputable breeder is always the best decision.

Hedgehogs can have genetic disorders that come from inbreeding. Exotic stores and other places don’t usually care too much about where the animal came from, or what conditions it was living in, only that it sells. It’s, unfortunately, a similar scenario to what you find with dog breeds and puppy mills.

Finding the right breeder might be a bit hard, but usually worth it in the end.

What is a hedgehog anyways? Aren’t they rodents?

Despite some similar features, similar stature, and the offhand remarks from a evil scientist with a very long mustache, hedgehogs are not actually rodents. Nor are they related to the porcupine, who is a rodent. Also, echidnas are also very much their own thing, and are more closely related to the platypus than they are to hedgehogs. So, no, Sonic and Knuckles are not related.

Hedgehogs actually belong to the Erinaceidea family, part of the order Eulipotyphla which includes creature like moles and shrews.

As such, they are actually very different from taking care of a guinea pig or hamster.

What do hedgehogs eat?

A good question I get all time is about diet. I’ll go into specifics in a different post but, in short, hedgehogs eat meat. They are mostly insectivores, but are opportunistic to other options. They don’t really eat all that much vegetation, and there are a lot of foods they simply cannot have.

Don’t hedgehogs hibernate?

Another good question I get is this one. Some wild hedgehogs hibernate. This is to help slow down their metabolism and allow them to get through harsh winters. Like other animals that hibernate, these hedgehog will go out of their way to make sure they fatten up from their winter sleep.

Domesticated hedgehogs do not hibernate, or should not. They do not behave like their wild cousins and will not survive hibernation. These are temperature sensitive creatures, and cannot be allowed to get too cold. This is really important and will be, again, covered in it’s own post.

What do you need to take care of a hedgehog?

To start, all animals require love, attention, and affection. You need to have the time to take care of your pet, before you even consider having one.

That said, there’s quite a bit to cover with care requirements, versus my personal preferences. I already briefly talked about food, but I’ll just say that cat food has always worked well with me, though I also have a supplement hedgehog mix and bugs for them as well. Stay tuned for more details to come.

In brief, hedgehogs need enough space to run around and dig. They are diggers and will hid under whatever bedding you decide to put down for them. 

They’re not really messy, per say. In fact, a lot of my experience has been of hedgehogs who were very neat and had a place for everything. However, this is just a personality quirk, and every one will have it’s own preference. Always keep the cage clean, they’ll thank you for it.

Hedgehogs should have a variety of toys to play with, especially while you are away or asleep. Everyone’s seen the hedgehog with a toilet roll on its head but, not only do they destroy them right away, only the babies can really play with them. Bigger hedgehogs will just get stuck. Hamster toys are way too small for them, even the babies, so I always stick to toys specifically meant for them or cat toys. They love their little stuffed animals.

There’s a lot more to say on this subject, which is one of the reasons I started this blog.

Are hedgehogs nocturnal?   

Yes! They are nocturnal, but, depending on how you interact with your little one, you can dictate when they get up and play. Naturally, they’ll want to sleep for most of the day and will hide in a nice shaded spot or under the bedding. If you make a daily routine of picking them up and playing with them during the daytime, however, they’ll quickly adapt to what you want. So, don’t worry about not being able to play with them when you want. They’re actually very accommodating, once they figure out your schedule.

Are hedgehogs spiky? And how do you play with them if they are?

They are spiky, but not the way you might think. A lot of people, and I do mean a lot, have worried about petting my hedgehogs because they didn’t want spikes in their hands, like porcupines are known to do.

Technically, hedgehog have spines, while porcupines have quills.

Unlike porcupines, hedgehog spines are not barbed. They do not easily come out, and are not meant to. If a hedgehog loses a large number of spines, then it is likely very ill. Babies will lose baby quills to replace with adult ones, but that’s about it.

So, when you pet a hedgehog, the spines will remain on the hedgehog. As for how spiky and what it feels like, that’s matter of opinion.

Personally, I liken them to a pine tree. You never notice how spiky it is so long as you pet in the right direction, and the hedgehog is not upset. When they get upset, the bristle their spines as a way to ward off predators. I pet my little ones all the time without any special protection or gloves, and I think it’s better that way. I know some who recommend soft gloves, and I have some for family members who are concerned, but I have never needed them.

Do they collect rings and fight off Eggmen?

I will neither confirm, nor deny this. The only thing I can speak for is that, at the very least, none of my hedgehogs have ever been blue.

(However, they have all been named after spiky characters from a particular gaming series so...) 

Thanks to everyone whose made it this far! I plan on posting weekly, though if anyone has any particular questions I’ll do my best to answer! 

#hedgehog #petcare #hedgehogcare #sonic the hedgehog #pets #little pets #hedgehogs #hedgehogtips #petblog #animalcare #animals

[fayegracexo]

Dry Brushing Self Care: The ‘Why’ & ‘How’

A few weeks ago when I mentioned I had added dry brushing into my self care routine (On Instagram! @selfcarewitchxo) , I got so many messages about it I thought it best to do a blog post and explain why and how! Just by adding 5 minutes to your routine you can be healthier physically, mentally, and emotionally...it’s also my secret for Goddess soft skin! What’s not to love?! 

So let’s get started!

“What is it?”

  Dry brushing is an ancient technique that involves using a dry, natural bristle brush in a rotating massaging motion, to help get the lymphatic system moving. This eliminates toxins from the body, and removes dry skin. Dry brushing can improve the appearance of cellulite, give your skin a healthy glow and help it better absorb moisture from beauty products; It even helps with muscle tone! Many cultures have practiced dry brushing. In Ayurvedic medicine “Garshana” was completed each morning prior to bathing, the Native Americans and Greeks were also known to use this technique!

“Why?”

  Over time and thanks to gravity, the lymphatic system can become sluggish. Dry brushing aids the body in the natural process of removing waste and delivering nutrients where they need to go. It’s a great way to get those stagnant toxins and excess water to move on out! 

  Lymph congestion can be a major factor to disease and inflammation, so improving our blood flow helps deliver oxygen and nutrients our cells need! Poor circulation can cause swelling, pain, and varicose veins. By massaging this system in such a motion we can smooth out cellulite and soften fat deposits under the skin, giving our skin a better appearance, and since we’re stimulating muscle fibers, we can help build muscle tone, which aids with sagging skin concerns. 

  Dry brushing also exfoliates our skin and removes dead skin cells, this not only makes us softer (especially when paired with a shower and body lotion/oil afterwards!) but allows the skins pores to be unclogged and more open to accepting and absorbing any moisturizers or other products we may use. With our pores unclogged, we’re also able to sweat out toxins more easily! 

  Lastly dry brushing is a great technique for those with anxiety, or who need a little extra help in the self care/self love department! Brushing can be very stress relieving as it eases tension in the body. Some people like to turn their dry brushing sessions into some serious self care time, or even a mediation practice!

“How?”

  First we want to start with our brush, and don’t worry, they’re not expensive! We always want to choose a brush that has all natural fibers, not synthetic ones! The point is to be gentle, not inflame our skin and hurt it, so scratchy kitchen brushes and other heavy duty bristles just won’t do. I use a round 100% natural boar bristle brush with massage nodules and a strap handle. You don’t have to pick the same shape or have the nodules, that’s just personal preference! Some like long handled brushes, but I like mine large and round with the strap to easily maneuver it around without dropping it. Click here for a link to my exact brush on Amazon, but again the choice is yours! I like the round shape as I find it helps with the circular motions.

  Next, “When?” - While dry brushing can be done any time of day, most suggest making it a part of your routine right before your morning shower. Brushing wakes up the nervous system by stimulating nerve endings in the skin, and gets the blood moving, which can provide an invigorating energy to boost your morning! Some people report feeling more awake or motivated after their session; but before a bath and bedtime is just fine too! It’s whatever works best into your schedule.

  Dry brushing takes about 2-5 minutes, or longer if you’d like to take your time, so no worries about finding the time to cram in another part to your routine! This is fast and simple. If you can fit it into your schedule everyday that’s fantastic! But if not no worries even once or twice a week would make a great goal.

  Now let’s start brushing! If you can’t tell from the title, we want to do this with a dry brush. A dry brush will exfoliate off all those dead skin cells we want to rinse off in the shower later, without removing the natural oils of our skin. 

  The lymphatic system flows toward the heart, so we want to do this in a circular motion, working toward the heart. Always start at your feet. Pick a side to start with, and brush up in circular motions toward the heart, up the front of your leg to your thigh. Then reach towards the back of your leg and brush back up the leg until you reach your lower back. Do this about 3x then repeat the process on the other leg.

  After our lower body we move to our arms. Put one arm over your head, brush down from the wrist, down your inner arm, lightly brush over the underarm and outer breast tissue (avoiding the nipple, ow!), down the back of your arm, to your shoulders, and neck. Repeat this about 3 times before moving to the other arm and repeating the same. Once we reach the stomach we want to go in circular motions over the belly/abdomen. 

  As we are brushing we want to do this gently, and remember we are lightly stroking our skin with the brush, not scrubbing. Skin may be slightly pink after dry brushing but should never be red, inflamed, burny or itchy! If so, you’re brushing too hard and need to lighten your hand a bit! Always remember never to dry brush over inflamed or open skin either. We want to make ourselves feel good and healthy,not hurt! We also do not use this brush to exfoliate our face! Face skin is much too delicate and there’s other techniques available for that. Pay special attention to the underarms and inner thighs/buttocks as those areas tend to benefit the most from this technique.

  After you’re finished your dry brushing session it’s important to remember to shower or bathe (I say shower is best so you’re not bathing will all the icky stuff that came off you!) immediately after. I find that waiting can make me feel dry and itchy. I like to brush before a shower as I’m waiting for the water to heat up, then hop in, rinse off and wash with a moisturizing soap as soon as I’m done. Bonus points if you have a light body scrub in the shower too! I like to use ones from Lush. Remember you don’t just want to jump straight into bed or clean clothes afterwards or all those dead skin flakes will be coming with you! After your shower, while you’re still a bit damp, use your favorite moisturizing lotion or body oil and allow your skin to absorb all that extra moisture its now able to receive! You’ll be baby soft and start to really feel your skin ‘breathing’ again. I personally like to use my Puracy Organic Unscented Body Lotion (I love it for Sensitive Skin!) paired with Little Seed Farms Rosemary Patchouli Body Oil. I put on the body oil first and let it absorb, then do a layer of lotion after that to really lock in the moisture! Of course though you can use any lotion or body oil brand or scent you’d like! (I prefer to avoid chemicals since I have skin issues/allergies. I don’t want to open up my pores only to throw chemicals back in them!)

  Wash out your brush with soap and water about every 2 weeks or so to keep it clean. Let it air dry where air can circulate so you don’t have to worry about molds or anything else gross growing on your wet brush! Even after just one brushing session, if you flick the bristles you can see how much dead skin flies into the air! Yuck!

Make it a Self Care Routine!

  Whether you choose the AM or PM to dry brush, it can instantly be a great self care routine if you’d like it to be! I like to light incense or a candle,turn the lights out, and have music playing as I’m doing my session. I take the time to tune into my body, listen to what it needs, and play close attention to spots that may need some extra TLC. This can be really great for people with anxiety as it’s a wonderful way to ease tension, and in the self love department it can be good to get more in touch with your body, observe it, and listen into those thoughts, feelings, and sensations that we may experience. I find it’s a great way to help with self image. We feel better about ourselves when we put the time in to love and take care of our bodies. 

  Remember though! Dry brushing is only part of the process. We won’t see true results unless we’re also eating right, getting enough water, exercise, sleep, and keeping our stress level as low as we can. If we take care of ourselves, our body in turn takes care of us. Happy Brushing!

~ Faye ~

Check out the Instagram page for more self-care talk, tips, tricks, motivational quotes and healing advice, and feel free to message with any questions/comments or if you need product suggestions. I respond faster on Instagram!

@selfcarewitchxo

#drybrushing #selfcare #selfcareisntselfish #self improvement #self care #body oil #anxiety #selfcarenight #loveyourself #healthyhabits

[spacegate]

TRUST CH 11

An Undertale Fanfiction

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / AO3 LINK Characters: Sans, Grillby, Papyrus, Royal Doggies, Gaster Setting: Baby Blaster AU Contains: SAD CHILDREN. Mentions of child abuse. Synopsis: In which a bunch of people have a very bad time and someone made a very very stupid mistake.

When Grillby checked on the kids the next morning, he found them curled up together and sound asleep. He almost didn’t want to wake them up, he truly did, but schedules must be kept. It was nice to see them so peaceful and happy. It seemed as though all three of them managed to sleep through the night with no real issue. A first compared to when Sans and Papyrus first stayed with him.

He himself slept lightly, straining to hear every slight noise inside and outside. He would get up often to look out the windows and check and recheck the locks. Bertram was equally anxious, but conked out halfway through the night. It was no matter to the fire monster, he was used to being awake for long hours. Grillby remembered the war vividly, how he would lie awake in his tent awaiting for humans to attack in the night. He often preferred fire watch, keeping an eye out for his fellow soldiers through the night. It was a lot better than trying to sleep through all the anxiety. Standing guard made him feel like he was doing something at least. Even when promoted to Major General, he still found himself more awake than not. He has never been a deep sleeper at all, and even after a thousand years that habit has not changed.

Still he felt relieved that nothing happened in the night. No nightmares. No screaming. It was peaceful. It was still too early to tell, but perhaps this trend might continue? With how the boys were progressing, he didn’t doubt it. It would still take time for sure. Once Gaster was caught and dealt with, he only imagined that their skeleton’s mental state would improve with proper toll and therapy. He smiled and entered the room, increasing his luminocity. The sudden brightness caused Papyrus to wake up first. He opened his tiny jaws in a colossal yawn and blinked away the remnants of sleep.

“Good morning, Papyrus.” Grillby greeted his youngest with a soft smile.

Papyrus giggled and reached over to pat his brother in the face. “AAAPPT!!!” The tiny skeleton yelled and continued to pat Sans until he too stirred. The movement jostled Alphys awake as well as she blinked blearily. Once they were all somewhat awake, Grillby turned on the lights fully.

“Good morning children. Get dressed, breakfast will be ready soon.” He watched as Papyrus easily slid out of the bed  to zoom around. Sans was the slowest, practically oozing out of the bed and covers. It was true that Sans needed more sleep, he could always take a nap at the bar. Food and the medicine added to it was just a bit more important than sleep.  Alphys was helping to untangle him from the covers, yawning softly and rubbing her eyes.

“Mmmorning!” She squeaked and yawned. Sans just grumbled something inaudible. Papyrus was more than content to make up for the lack of noise all by himself, running around and yelling.

Confident he can leave them alone for now, he walked downstairs to wake up Bertram, and together they cooked breakfast. Grillby decided on pancakes with fruit along with hashbrowns. The smell alone must have hurried the children as they bounded down shortly later to devour all that laid before them on the table.

It was good to see such appetites, especially for Sans and Papyrus, who were beginning to eat a little more each day. Especially since receiving their medicine. Alphys was clearly not a morning person, but she did her best to chat with Papyrus and Sans in between bites.

But all too soon, Bertram approached his daughter with their coats. Sans and Papyrus immediately tensed up.

“Alphys…where are you going?” Sans blinked, suddenly more alert than five minutes ago. He reached out to take her hand as if afraid she would up and vanish on them.

“I’m going home!” She pulled Sans forward and planted a little smooch on the top of his skull. “Don’t worry! I’ll be back soon!”

“…But…but why?” Sans accepted the kiss yes, but his voice trembled and tears flecked the edges of his eye sockets. “You just got here!”

“Sans.” Grillby stepped in and spoke as gently as he could . “I know you care about Alphys very much, but she has to go home with her father for now. I can promise that her and her father can visit again really soon.”

“Yeah! And we have each other’s phone numbers! We can talk on the phone too!” Alphys smiled at Sans and pulled him into a hug. He sighed and sniffled, accepting it but clearly not happy with it. Papyrus joined in on the hug and made a tiny purring noise.

Bertram and Grillby could only watch and let the three settle themselves on their own. Of course the kids would be close and a little clingy to each other, they have been through so much together. But…things have to march on despite it. Grillby would make sure to set up the phone for both skeletons tonight so they can check in on their friend. In all, this was valuable experience for the boys. Over time they will get less and less anxious when people leave as they begin to realize that people do come back. They won’t have to worry about someone leaving and never returning.  

Eventually they broke the hug and Sans wiped the tears from his eyes sockets.

“Goodbye Sans and Papyrus.” She patted them both goodbye and then zipped up her coat. “I’ll call when we get back, okay?”

Sans nodded. “….okay…” He sniffled a little. He could let her go, but he didn’t have to be cheerful about it.

Papyrus waved. “Buh-bye…” The tiny skeleton was equally not pleased as he frowned.

With final goodbyes, Bertram opened the door for Alphys, and together disappeared into the white of Snowdin.

A few seconds managed to pass before both skeletons burst into tears. Grillby found himself on the floor as he tried to comfort them. He rubbed their backs and explained the best that he could, that people do come back. They weren’t gone forever. But such thoughts would take some time to take root.

What a way to start the day, and it wasn’t even 8 am yet.

  EVENTUALLY, Grillby calmed both children down enough that they allowed themselves to be dressed in coats and carried out into the cold. By now they had gotten enough strength back that they didn’t rattle like they were going to fly to pieces in the chill. They still snuggled close to their adoptive father to steal all the heat they could from him. Luckily, the fire elemental had plenty of heat to spare. He simply cuddled them close through the short walk, unlocking the backdoor to the bar and heading into the warm building.

The children were set up in the backroom like usual, with snacks, blankets, and paper. Grillby could rely on Sans to keep Papyrus from eating crayons again. Not that it would necessarily hurt him, but it’s a habit that needs to be broken.

Once he was sure they would be alright and prepped, he opened the doors to start the day. To his surprise, three of the canine units were waiting for the bar to open. Doggo, Lesser Dog, and Greater Dog stood out in the cold, mouths open in doggy grins.

“Heya Grillz!”

“Bork!”

“AUFFF.”

“Hello.” Grillby opened the door all the way and stepped back to allow the dogs in. “Where are The Dogi?”

“Just relieved Lesser and Greater.” Doggo held onto Lesser dog’s shoulder so he could be guided to a stool. “Dogamy suggested they come here to get a bite. I tagged along.”

“I see.” Grillby felt a little more comfortable to have three guardsmen in his bar. Doggo may have vision problems and quite young for a guard, but he made up for it with determination and drive.

The dogs sat together at the bar in a row. They were regulars and thus, always ordered the same thing. A  nice bowl of warm kibble and some water. Since they were guards Grillby made sure to add bacon bits to the kibble as a little ‘thanks’ for their service. The three dogs barked their thanks and tucked in, leaving Grillby to feel a little better about the situation. He had people in his corner. He didn’t have to be alone in this mess. He hoped the Dogi would be alright out there, but they were a powerful pair. If Gaster ran into them, he would be in for a world of hurt.

The lunch crowd descended in an hour later like a tidal wave. Through the blur of cooking and serving, the dogs stuck around. It gave Grillby the chance to check on the children, and so far they seemed to be good at amusing themselves for the time being. He fell into the usual routine. Serve. Cook. Check on the kids. Serve. Cook. Rinse and repeat for the next few hours before the bar was empty again. The sudden quiet was a little shocking.

“What a crowd!” Doggo leaned back on the counter, earning agreeing barks from his comrades.

“Indeed.” Grillby surveyed the damage in his kitchen. He was now out of lettuce and onions, he could blame that on the Rabbit family. He was also running low on bread buns for the burgers. He would have to go out and get some more while there was a lull. But…does he take the kids with him…or leave them? He checked on the children one last time, to find them curled up together for a nap. He didn’t want to disturb them….

“Could I trouble you three, for a favor?” Grillby spoke to the three dogs as he removed his apron.

“Anything for you Grillz.” Doggo nodded along with Lesser and Greater.

“I must close down for a moment to pick up more groceries. Could you watch the boys please? They are taking a nap.”

Lesser and Greater barked, vibrating slightly.

“Of course! We’ll keep this place guarded as though it’s the King’s castle!” Doggo saluted.

Grillby smiled a warm smile, his flames softening to pastel yellow for the moment. “Thank you. They are in the back, napping. I shall return shortly.” He gathered up his coat and his phone. “There will be more kibble for you all, when I return.”

“Then you better hurry back!” The husky laughed and gestured to the door. “No worries. We got this!”

Grillby inclined his head and stepped towards the door. The dogs barked among themselves for a moment, before Greater left to go into the back room. The children liked him a lot, and having such a big guard in the back watching over them gave Grillby the last bit of reassurance he needed. He walked through the door and flipped his sign from ‘Open’ to 'Be Back Soon’. It was a slow hour anyway, most monsters would either be at work or school at the moment. It gave him time to pick up what he needed and go. The quicker he can get back to his kids, the better.

He couldn’t help but crack a small smile at that. ’ His’ kids. It had a nice ring to it. He took off at an even pace through the snow, blinking away at the small snowflakes that caught the light and glittered in the air. Lovely, like always. It would be even lovelier when that bastard of a scientist was caught. Then perhaps this tense miserable feeling in the air would be gone.

And then, a bony hand grabbed his shoulder. { Hello Grillby. } A dark and smooth voice sent shivers down the bartender’s flames.

Before he had any chance at all to react, he was YANKED….backwards? Upwards? He wasn’t sure, but suddenly everything was black and cold. Cold enough that his flames burned brighter to counteract the sudden loss of ambient heat. He literally couldn’t tell was was up or down, and a dark hissing echoed through the blackness.

And just as suddenly as it came, it went, and Grillby found himself far far away in the deep woods. The old locked door to the ruins still stood firm and ageless as it did hundreds of years ago. The lights of town were but tiny specks in the distance. Grillby stumbled, the shock of being pulled through NOTHING and suddenly ending up so far away was enough to give him a flash of intense vertigo.

{ Pull yourself together, that was just a short jump. Honestly…some war hero you are. } The dark voice dripped with ire. Grillby turned to look at the speaker.

It was him.

Of course, Sans’s drawing of his torturer was rough…childish…but it fit the monster before him to a T. A flat, featureless white face with bare hints of skeletal features, smooth and unblemished. The black eye-sockets gave the bartender an amused and haughty look, like you would give to a troublesome insect. He was dressed in mostly black, and the white lab coat he wore gave him an otherworldly look. He spread his hands, both with holes drilled out of the palms. 'His hands hurt ’, Grillby remembered the fear…the horror in that small child’s voice as he described Gaster.

Gaster’s face split into a too wide black grin. The white pupils in his eyes flashed with hidden aggression. Grillby’s hands clenched into clawed talons, the edges of his flames turning blue in his building rage.

{ Come Now, there is no need for that. } Gaster purred, bringing his hands together to rub them. { We are all reasonable men here, right? So I’ll make my request perfectly clear. }

He leaned forward, his expression darkening as his mouth twisted into a frown.

{ Return my experiments. And all of us will be Free. }

“You mean children.” Grillby hissed back, flames licking from the collar and cuffs of his shirt. The snow began to sink and melt around his feet.

{ How many times do I have to tell people. They are not children. They are tools. Tools that will break the barrier and free us all. } Gaster scoffed, as if he was talking to an idiot. { Such…sentiments…are what’s keeping us trapped here in the first place. }

Grillby did his best to compose himself. “Then let ME be clear. Turn yourself in to the guard and leave MY children alone. This is the only way out for you. This is the reasonable way out.”

Gaster merely laughed, a scratching eerie noise that if Grillby did have hair, would have sent it on edge. The mad look in the semi-skeleton’s face was enough to cement for sure, that Gaster was completely and utterly insane.  

{ Your children? }

{ YOUR CHILDREN? }

His eyes flashed blue and with the sound of static, manifested blue hands wreathed the scientist’s head and body.

{ A pity, I thought you would be reasonable. }

The hands circled and then flashed outward, fingers outstretched. Grillby drew on his many years of combat experience and dodged, his flames a blur of speed. He drew back a clawed hand and with a roar slashed forward. Flames rocketed towards Gaster, burning huge scars of black into the soil.

There was a blink, and Gaster teleported out of the way of the flames, countering with grabbing magic hands heading right for the elemental’s soul.

This poor young fool. Grillby simply lashed out with torrential flames. The magical manifestations cracked and shattered under the onslaught. Gaster pulled back to the distance, manifesting more hands. Along with hands, blue and white bones appeared and floated in place. They titled in place, and a hail of bones rained down on the bartender. Gaster’s smug face could be barely seen through the dark rain of magic.

Grillby simply bolstered his flames, burning blue and white as he waited out the attack. Bones and hands hit his flames and simply burned up. Causing no damage at all and sizzling away into the burn acrid smell of spent magic.

Grillby simply stared out from a ring of charred and burnt burns circling him. Not a single point of HP was lost.

And it was then Gaster realized that he royally fucked up.

“MY TURN.” Grillby’s face broke open in a gagged grin with a hellish hiss.

White and teal flames flash melted the snow in the immediate area as the elemental rocketed forward. Trees exploded into shards of charred splinters from the sheer violence of the sprint. Gaster was too shocked to teleport away and found himself in a burning choke-hold.  

“YOU WILL NEVER COME NEAR MY CHILDREN AGAIN!!!” Grillby viciously slammed the scientist into the nearest living tree, shattering it into sap and splinters. His heat continued to build, scorching clothing and there was the soft creaking noise of bone being tested to it’s limit.

There was sudden sharp cracks and Gaster cried out as two thin cracks marred his eye sockets and face, reaching deep down to even the twisted frown and the crown of his head. There were similar but smaller cracks hidden under the scorched clothes as bone lost against heat.

Grillby threw the scientist away and into the snow, where the sudden LOSS of heat cracked even more bones.

The gentle bartender looked more and more like some hellish fire beast, but remained in control. This creature before him, was responsible for EVERYTHING. Sans might never fully recover because of HIM. Papyrus, a happy but entirely too anxious baby, because of HIM. The screaming! The nightmares! The sheer amount of scars and trauma! BECAUSE OF HIM. Gaster struggled to move, no doubt trying to piece together enough magic for another teleport, but Grillby wasn’t going to let him go.

“THEY ARE MY CHILDREN. NOT TOOLS.”

Grillby picked up the gasping scientist by the neck and threw him again, sending the skeleton tumbling away into the burned and smoking ground. Gaster gasped in pain and then cried out as Grillby slammed a foot down on his hand.

CRACK!

And then again on the other hand.

CRACK!

“YOU WILL NEVER HURT THEM AGAIN.”

Smoke and crackling embers poured out off the enraged bartender’s mouth as he made sure that these hands of Gaster’s will NEVER be capable of harming another monster again. The cracking of bone only enraged Grillby further, imagining how it must of felt and sounded to Sans and Papyrus. How if felt when their tiny bones were broken and shattered. Hopefully Gaster would feel as they did, and in his enraged state he was more than happy to shatter every little bone in this disgusting monster’s body.

He lifted a clawed burning hand, ready to slam it down on the prone scientists. Gaster hissed something and there was a sudden sound of fabric tearing and the sense of wrongness . Grillby didn’t have a second before a hot beam of light flashed in front of his face and pushed him backwards to the edge of snow again. It was enough to momentarily blind the bartender and he blinked and coughed at the heavy smell of ozone.

He opened his eyes.

Before him were….floating skulls. Two of them. For a second he was terrified, they looked exactly like Sans and Papyrus’s beastly forms, but with subtle differences. They were larger with better developed teeth and crests, but they still had the soft rounded edges of childhood. Their white ringed pupils in their too large dark eye sockets watched Grillby blankly, swaying back and forth as if in a breeze.

They were children.

They were guarding Gaster as he struggled to stand up again. Grillby was stunned, his flames sputtering at the horror in front of him. Was this…what he planned for his two children? Mindless weapons?

His shock was all it took, and Gaster and the two heads vanished with a sound of static.  Too late! Grillby roared with fury as he missed Gaster by a mere second.

“Up ahead!” ( “What happened!” )

Grillby whipped his head around as Dogamy and Dogaressa ran into the burnt and destroyed clearing, panting hard.

“Grillby!” Dogamy’s eyes went wide as he surveyed the damage. Many trees were shattered and burnt, and in the middle of it all was a still burning and enraged elemental.

“GASTER.” Grillby roared, his voice vibrating the needles in the surviving trees.

( “You…you had him! Wh-”) Dogarassa began, but Grillby cut her off with a snarl as he blazed forward and headed back into town. True, the snow might have slowed him down if he was calmer, but Grillby was consumed with rage and fear, causing him to burn so bright it was like the sun itself was in the underground. He ran with all the speed he could muster, leaving a burned black trail in his wake.

The Dogi sensed the urgency and ran after him, tilting their heads back and howling. Howls echoed back as the entire canine patrol was alerted.

They just hoped they would reach the kids in time.

   Greater Dog opened the door to the backroom quietly, his tail wagging a mile a minute. He boofed softly as he spotted the puppy pile on the floor. It seemed that Sans had pulled one of the couch cushions down on the floor and threw all the pillows and blankets on it, making one cozy nest. Both him and Papyrus were curled up together . It was almost too adorable for him to take!

He shut the door behind him and boofed softly! <”Hello Puppies!”>

Papyrus yawned and blinked his eyes open. His tail wagged when he spotted the older dog monster. <”HI! HI! HI! HI!”> He barked loudly and used a paw to tap Sans on the top of his skull.

The older pup opened his eyes blearily and sniffed. When he saw it was only Greater Dog, he yawned and closed his eyes again. Seems this pup isn’t too interested in being awake at the moment. No big deal!

Greater wagged his tail harder and elected to get down on the floor with the pups and curl around them. With his massive armor and frame, he will be able to guard them properly! He’s a good dog after all!

Papyrus yawned again and snuggled up close to his brother, falling asleep in no time at all.

How nice! Greater thumped his tail and kept a close eye over both pups, his ears pricked for any and all sounds. Time wore on and he still remained vigilant. Best dog! Good dog! The pups were getting a good nap in, but he wondered what was taking Grillby so long? He was about to check on Lesser and Doggo when Sans and Papyrus startled awake with sudden sharp whines.

<”What’s wrong Pups?”> Greater grew concerned when both pups began to breathe heavily, terrified of something. Both pups snuggled up to Greater’s armor, shivering enough that their bones rattled.

<”He’s coming.”> Sans managed to choke out, his eye sockets completely blank.

Before Greater could ask who was coming, an alarm howl echoed through the cavern. Greater pulled himself up on his paws and hunched over the two children protectively as the air began to get thick and reek of ozone.

There was a vicious crack of splintering wood and a bright flash of light as the restaurant caved inward.

KRAK-KOOOOM !

Greater hunkered down over the pups, closing his eyes as burnt wood splinters bounced off his metal armor. There was the sound off furious dogs and the dull smacks of bodies being thrown around.

He blinked his eyes to rid them of the debris and wood dust, growling sharply. His ears were ringing from the volume of the blast, but as his hearing returned he could hear the other dogs furiously barking and growling. He looked up to see Doggo and Lesser Dog fighting…..giant floating skulls? Blue and White bones rammed their way from under the floorboards in an attempt to skewer the canines, but they were too agile. Both dogs cut through the bone assault with ease as they struggled to keep their attacker back.

And to his shock, it was Gaster. He looked barely alive, face cracked and shattered into a barely recognizable visage. The scientist supported himself with a few bones, reaching out with blue magic hands to rip up everything in his way. He seemed terribly injured, and the bits of dust falling off his bones was a sign of how bad it was.

{ E2-001-S! E2-002-P!!! }

The scientists voice was broken and hysterical. Both pups whined fearfully and hid under the giant canine.

As much as Greater wanted to help Lesser and Doggo, he knew his place was protecting the pups. So he stood and withdrew his spear from his inventory. His massive frame blocked the way and he braced himself.

Gaster turned his head to stare at Greater, a mad glint in his remaining un-shattered eye-socket. The floating skulls hovered around their master, expressions blank. The other two dogs continued their attacks, attempting to drive Gaster out of the ruined restaurant.

Sans cowered behind greater, shielding his brother the best he could behind their canine guardian. And then, like soft whispers in the dry air, heheard them.

B҉͎r̡͚̣͖͔o̺t̝̗̱͙̺͔͘h̨͎̘͚͖er̷̭͕̤?̝͉̖͚̱

 ̛̤̯ ͖͚͚̘͎̮͔͡

̴̩̦T̼̫̮̗̬̘̻h̹̘̪̻̥a͓̖͖ͅt̫̹͉͙͓ ̯brͅo̲̮̼͘t̠̩̮̗̝h̲er̺̰?̖̖͙̟

 ͇͔̙ ̼̬̘̩

͎͖Y͢e͖̯͖̕s͇̙͔̖͈.̻̤̭͖ ͓Y̟̠͉̟͙e̜̜̭͍͕͎s̨ ͈̣̼̮̣͇̬͞t̵͓h͓͖͎̳̭͖ͅa͍̙t͞ ̞͔͚͘b̥̟̠̥r͏̙̳͓ͅo͇̠̖̦̲͍̰̕ț̥͎̺̬ͅh̗͎e̴̪͍̼r͚͇̗͙̭.̠͎̦͠ ͎̹̘̝̗T͚̩̞̹͕͕h̜̠͚̼̪͎̖a̸͎t̶̖̺̼̘̰̠ ̵̻̮̥̭̠̹ͅb̙͕̗̺̥̼͍r͕̩̗͍ͅot̴̹h̩ͅe̷̥̺̣r̥̲̲.̼̳

̫

Sans managed to gather enough courage to poke his head around their guard to see what was happening. The huge skulls looked directly at him, their white ring-like eyes expanding.

I̶̞͓̯͖t̹̺͖ ̶b̸̝͖͚̣̰̹r͙̙̠͇̦̮͚o̱͉̗̺̮t̪h̗͙̠̺̞ͅer҉̞͎ͅ.̰ ̱͖͎̺̜H҉̖͎̗e̥̘̰͔̘̥̱͢l͕̩̩̗̟̻ͅl̺̤̥̮͍̩o̟͍̠͖̼͙̙ ̺̠̬͖͉̮b͉̤̼r̨̗͉̰ͅͅͅo͡t͚͙̤̩̟͠ḥ̠͈̟e͉͎͚r̬̟͇̻.̤

 Sans felt his soul clench. He always knew he had other siblings besides Papyrus. But…these? Where these things really his…brothers? It was too horrible. Too much to think about. Was that their fate? To just…float and obey commands? Little more than weapons? He let out a thin reedy cry of fear and ducked back again to safety. Papyrus began sobbing as Sans curled around his little brother. It was all too much. They had to hide!

While Greater fended off the incoming rain of bones, Sans dragged his still sobbing brother as gently as he could and shoved him under the couch. Papyrus cried and screamed, but Sans silenced him by shoving the blankets under with him.

<”Shh shh bro…be quiet. Hide.”> He murmured to his smaller sibling over the noise of the fight. Papyrus sobbed, but remained where he was.

Greater growled and swung his spear up and brought it down on the ground with a crash! The ground shook and sent the mad scientist of balance. Gaster cried out and sent bones flying in Greater’s direction. Greater knocked all the incoming bones out of the way, except for one, which he caught in his mouth. His dark eyes blazed with fury as he bit through the bone and sent it crumbling away into spent magic.

One of the living cannons opened its maw, a bright beam of light building up with a hum and aimed it at the dog.

KSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSK!

Greater countered by swinging his spear and knocked the skull out of the way with a single blow.

BOOOOOOOM!

The blast went off, cutting a hole in the roof and causing plaster and wood to rain down on all those fighting inside. Doggo and Lesser continued to pester Gaster with their swords and barking, forcing the scientist to split his focus between multiple attackers. At this rate, he would be captured for sure.

Ping!

Greater looked down at his chest, confused as a blue glow shined forth from his SOUL. He scarcely had time to understand what that meant for him, before he was picked up and violently thrown into the other two dogs. With a sharp yelp of pain, they collided and hit the far remaining wall with a crash.

{ ENOUGH! }

Gaster brought three cannons to his side and they began to charge up, aiming directly to the prone dogs. The beams built up with a humming whine that seemed to vibrate the bits of dust on the floors and walls. He grinned. These mutts won’t give him anymore trouble!

And then quite suddenly, he was knocked off his feet by a sudden thin beam of light. He slammed his head hard against the wall, worsening the cracks and sending small splinters of bone to the floor. All the skulls cut off their beams and floated listlessly, confused about how to proceed.

Gaster looked up to see E2-001-S standing in the ruined doorway, his jaws clicking shut after he finished blasting his creator. He was shaking, but there was a look of utter hate in his eyes that caused the edges of Gasters mouth to pull up into an unsettling smile.

{ There you are. }

Ping!

Sans struggled to fight off the blue magic in his soul, screaming and digging his claws as hard as he can into the broken floor. He charged a beam again, but he was abruptly slammed against the wall. He gasped and the magic building up in his throat sizzled and dispersed. Stunned, the pup could only breathe as he was dragged forward and gripped tightly in blue hand constructs.

Sans managed to open an eye in his panic to see that his master’s hands were broken and were only held together by innate magic. He wheezed in alarm as the transparent hands squeezed him tight. The skulls, distracted away from the dogs, hovered over for a closer look. Sans’s eyes flashed blue as he struggled, snarling and snapping with all the strength he could muster. His soul pounded in fear.

{ There’s no escape for you this time. Now…for 002… }

Gaster had no time to complete that sentence as the skull hovering closest to him shattered in a ball of flame. It let out a reedy thing scream as its bone disintegrated and crumbled to dust.

!ͅ!̥̜̩̹̳̯!̘̦͇B͎̙̳͢R̟͇͍̠O̧ͅT͚͉̯͉̯̟ͅHḚ̼̭̼̰̖R͇̱̟̰̱̪̩͟!͈̦̤̱̘̯̟!̷̞!͕̖̦B̠̟̘͍̗̹͍R̹̠̖͈͎͙̖O͏ͅT͡H͇̣̮͍̙͇̝͜Ḙ͇̼R̤͈̠̯̪̥͡!̘͕̣͓̞̞!̴̲͈̼̤͕!̙̫͉̻̰

 Sans could hear the panicked whispers of his kin as they floated, unsure of what to do. More fire balls slammed close and Gaster was forced to duck away. Sans cried out as he was dragged along through the air, the hands only tightened their grip.

And suddenly, there was heat. Sans opened his terrified eyes to see his adopted father, standing in the ruins of his bar. His flames now burned a pure teal in rage and his mouth was open in a horrible sharp fang frown.

“LET GO OF MY SON.” The bartender shrieked and rushed forward.

But all too well, Sans could feel the cold building up and the unsettling feeling of WRONG deep in his bones. Gaster was smiling, not seeming to be phased as a fire monster and five dogs rushed into his position at once.

'At least Papyrus is safe.’ Sans thought. Perhaps Gaster would just be content with just him, and would leave his baby brother alone.

 And that was the last thought he had before he was yanked through the void.

#babyblaster au #gasterblaster au #undertale #fanfiction #sans #keetah writes #trust #papyrus #grillby #alphys #guard dogs #gaster #dadby #babybones #YOU DON FUCKED UP

[sgscenarios]

drowned in feelings and alcohol

summary: wow sana is in this DEEP

Sana didn’t know when it started. It was all a blur, and there was such a thin line in between friendship and having feelings for a friend that Sana had just brushed all that she knew away. She was in love with you and that’s all that she knew was certain at this point.

The two of you had been friends ever since you approached her in your first year of high school, and now, the two of you were in your second year of college, and you had built up quite a name for yourself. Being the sociable person that you were, you tried to make as many friends as you could, and you attended as much parties as your schedule allowed you to. On the other hand, Sana had still kept to herself, save for the few close friends that she made through you. You had always made sure to ask Sana to go to a party with you, because what kind of best friend would you be if you didn’t ask her?

Sana wasn’t really one to go to parties. She liked staying in and doing whatever she wanted, which usually was to eat 10 meals and sit on the couch for the whole night while watching her favorite drama. The only reason she accompanied you to parties was so that she could spend more time with you, and usually you wouldn’t leave her by herself, because you and the lord knew, there were not a lot of people that could be trusted (usually frat boys that tried to get every girl they saw drunk so that they could take her somewhere else). 

Tonight would be the same. She was getting ready to go to yet another party with you. You got ready before her and thus made your way to her dorm, surprising her while she was quickly but carefully putting her make up on.

“Y/N? What are you doing here? I was going to go over to yours once I was finished.”

“At this rate, you weren’t going to be finished until the party was over.” You laughed, crossing your arms as you leaned against the wall, looking at her through the mirror.

She finished up and turned around in her chair, frowning and sticking out her tongue. “I was done already anyways.”

You two soon made your way to the party, hearing the music blast from inside the house. You entered confidently with Sana trailing behind, her hand holding onto your shirt to not get lost. People began to greet you as they saw you, and you smiled while greeting them back. You entered the kitchen with Sana, meeting up with Nayeon as she gave you and Sana a drink in those infamous red cups.

You took it and drank from it, handing Sana’s cup to her. The both of you stayed in the kitchen for a while until more people started to arrive, and then, seeing as Sana would be safe with Nayeon, you left to other parts of the house socializing with other people. This left Sana with Nayeon and Jeongyeon, who had joined earlier.

“You know Sana, you’re going to have to tell her sooner or later.” Nayeon said nonchalantly, swirling her drink in her cup.

“Tell her what?” Sana was genuinely confused. 

“That you like her, obviously.” Jeongyeon added on. “Are you trying to act dumb?”

“No?” Sana cocked her head to the side. “How do you two know about this?”

“It’s so obvious, Sana.” 

Sana only sighed her head dropping low. “I’m not going to. I know she doesn’t feel the same.”

“How are you so sure about that?” Jeongyeon asked, a brow raised.

“I just do, okay?” Sana sighed once more, eyeing the hard liquor on the kitchen counter before pointing to it and gesturing to her cup. “Now, would you two be sweeties and pour me some of those drinks over there?”

“Sana,” Nayeon started, “That’s hard liquor. You don’t usually do those. Are you sure?”

Sana only nodded, holding up her cup.

Nayeon sighed and grabbed the bottle of vodka, Jeongyeon rummaging through the fridge for a bottle of soda to use as chaser. Nayeon took Sana’s cup and poured a shot’s worth into it before handing it back while Jeongyeon opened up the soda and slid it over to Sana. Sana only eyed the chaser before downing the shot, clearing her throat before setting her cup down. 

“It’s going to be a no chaser night for me tonight. I have decided that I,” Sana motioned to herself, “Am going to party hard tonight. And neither of you are going to stop me.” She quickly added on the last part before the two of them could say anything. “Now, pour me another drink!”

This routine continued until Sana was a little bit past the whole tipsy stage. She was in the beginning of drunk, but she could still make out what was happening around her. At this point, Nayeon and Jeongyeon were making her take the shots with a chaser as a condition for her to continue drinking, so she accepted the chaser, but it just made her drink more in a small amount of time. Soon, she grabbed both of them and led them to the living room, where the furniture was pushed aside to allow room for dancing. Sana pulled the both of them into the middle of all the bodies and began dancing with them, bodies grinding against each other and sweat beginning to build up due to the body heat. 

They danced for a while until Sana became too tired and Nayeon had to pull her out to go back into the kitchen. Once there, Jeongyeon poured a glass of water for her, insisting that she drink it. And she did, but right after that, she continued to pour drinks for herself again. Now she was way past drunk and she was stumbling everywhere, giggles coming out of her every minute as Nayeon tried to keep her from going anywhere. Soon the two of them gave up, deciding to go and find you so that you could take her home. 

But right as they left, one of the guys had came over to Sana, strategically standing in front of her to block her from escaping. That guy just so happened to be Kim Sangchul, biggest fuckboy on campus.

“So,” he started, “you here alone?”

Sana looked up at him, a stupid grin (caused by the alcohol) on her face. “Who are you?”

He laughed, cupping Sana’s cheek. Before he could say anything, you appeared, leaning against the entryway. “Fuck off, Sangchul. She’s with me.”

He only scoffed, “What are you going to do, Y/N?”

You walked up to him and clenched the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to whisper. “You know damn well what I am capable of. Now get the fuck out of here before I ruin your pitiful life.” You pushed him away forcefully, not forgetting to take in his blood drained and scared face.

You then stood where he stood, arms crossed while you tsk’ed at Sana. “Why did you get so drunk?” You shook your head, placing one of her arms over your shoulder and helping her out of the house (which was really hard because she was a stumbling mess) and into your car. You strapped her in and closed the door before getting into the driver’s seat. You then pulled out your vibrating phone. Nayeon was calling.

“What’s up?”

“We left Sana for a moment to find you but now she’s gone and I’m worried! What if a fuckboy has her?”

“Don’t worry,” You laugh, “Thanks for looking after her, but I have her. I’m going to take her home. Luckily I came right in time because guess who was trying to talk her up? Fucking Kim Sangchul. God, if I had been a minute late I don’t know what I’d do.”

“That’s a relief. Yeah, no problem. She’s a gem. Don’t lose her, Y/N. But anyways, drive safe. And since the life of the party has left, Jeongyeon and I will be heading back too.”

You hung up with a smile, but you were unsure of what Nayeon meant by “She’s a gem, don’t lose her.” You decided that this was something to ask her tomorrow, when you were in your right mind. Right now, you had to take care of Sana. 

The drive back to your place didn’t take long. You had decided it would be better to not bother her roommate and just let her sleep over at your place for the night. You carefully helped her in, taking off her shoes and laying her on your bed. You sighed as you looked at her, she was probably feeling good right about now. You were glad that she wasn’t the emotional drunk, because honestly, you couldn’t deal with people crying. You sucked at that. You glanced at her once more before grabbing your pack of cleansing wipes and wiping her make up off. After that, you placed a water bottle on the nightstand in case she woke up before you.

You quickly changed and got into bed besides her, turning off the lamp. While trying to get comfortable, Sana wrapped her arms around you, pulling herself closer to you. Apparently she thought you were her roommate, Mina. 

“Mina.... How do I tell Y/N that I like her?” she muttered out. 

You furrowed your brows, surprised, but smiled nonetheless. “Sana... This.. isn’t... Mina...”

That was pointless, because Sana was drunk and she wouldn’t even comprehend anything, so she continued to ramble on.

“She’s such a wonderful person and she’s friends with everyone and if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have gotten so many friends... I don’t know when it started, but I like her so much.. I just don’t want to lose her if I end up confessing... because I know she doesn’t feel the same.”

You chuckled to yourself, “How are you so sure that she doesn’t feel the same?You won’t lose her. Now, go to sleep. You’re going to have a major hangover when you wake up.” You placed a soft kiss on her forehead, deciding to text her so that she’s have something to wake up to.

[y/n] 3:26am: last night you told me about how much you liked me thinking that I was Mina (which was totally cute), and I just wanted to tell you that I like you too, so you don’t have to worry about losing me.

After that, the two of you fell asleep, and true to your words, Sana woke up with confusion as to why she was in your bed and the worst hangover she would ever experience, but she was overjoyed when she saw the text from you. And then embarrassment flushed over her when she reread the part of the text that said “you thought I was Mina,” burying her face into the pillow.

#sana #wow #this was amazing #LOL #all my douche characters are named kim sangchul

[iraqairbus35-blog]

Thoughts on Fatherhood

A post by Daniel

I’m writing this in a dark room while I stare at the baby monitor. James is sleeping a few feet away and requires swift intervention if he wakes. If you miss that ten-second window, you could be in for hours of soothing, feeding, swaying, and rocking. I watch every sigh, shift, and fidget with intense anxiety. I legitimately think I have PTSD from the night shift and just a glance at the monitor sends a shiver down my spine. I spend over a third of my day watching another person sleep. And somehow, I’ve never been happier.

I know that might sound like a phony parenting platitude and I guess it is. It isn’t exactly happiness I feel. It’s more like there is more substance to my life. It has more meaning. Adding a child to a couple makes it feel like a family. There are moments of happiness like when I wake up and beeline to find him to get my morning smile. Or when he can’t fall asleep because he can’t stop smiling and cooing at me in the dark as I rock him. Or when I hear Andrea in the other room singing him some ridiculous song about changing diapers.

The Transition

Caring for an infant isn’t especially difficult. What you need to do is pretty straightforward. The difficult part is thinking about how you have to do it all the time, every day, for as far as you can imagine into the future. Dealing with the loss of your old child-free life makes transitioning so hard. Even harder for me, someone who avoided obligations for most of my life.

The transition was rough. I spent most of life seeking the path of least resistance. I picked my college class schedule mostly on the basis of having four-day weekends. I sought a career where I would never have to wake up with an alarm clock. For the past 10 years, I have slept eight or more hours probably 95% of the time. And now I find myself with a permanent alarm clock that is bio-engineered to induce intense stress in human ears and goes off at randomized intervals throughout the night.

the day James was born

The Beginning

The first few weeks were especially challenging. James wasn’t getting enough to eat and would cry constantly. I was getting little sleep and Andrea was getting almost none. Once we switched to formula things got better, but it was still difficult. When Andrea was breastfeeding, I felt useless. I’d change diapers and try to soothe him so she could sleep a little but honestly he just constantly wanted to eat. So I’d just stare at this crying infant who was rooting and I would apologize to him for not being able to give him what he needed. When we began bottle feeding, I had to step up and be a full partner in childcare.

The first month after that was still pretty tough for me. I loved him right away in the sense that he was this sweet little baby who I wanted to make happy. But I didn’t feel completely bonded to him (even though he initially looked like a 1/20th scale version of me). I think it’s because a newborn is a completely one way street. You pour all of your love, time, and attention into him and he can’t give you anything back. But once he started smiling and cooing at me, I fell completely in love. As frustrating as it can be carrying a crying baby over to the changing table at 4am, that little smile in the dark after he hears my voice makes all of the frustration instantly melt away.

We got incredibly lucky. James is the happiest, sweetest, smiliest little guy. He rarely cries and is never inconsolable. Our only major issue is sleep. He will go to sleep fairly easily but once he wakes after a sleep cycle, he usually needs someone there. We take turns holding him for naps to make sure he gets enough and at night I just stand by on call. He is starting to string together some 3-4 hour stretches so hopefully we can keep improving on that as he gets older. I think we will start looking into sleep training at 4+ months if he is still having a lot of difficulty. If anyone has experience with sleep training methods that worked feel free to share in the comments.

The Schedule

For a while we had a loose schedule but it wasn’t quite working. Andrea was jumping in and doing everything to spare me and then was resentful later. It wasn’t until we drilled down a really specific and clearly defined schedule that things got better.

We have figured out a system that works for us. Writing it out seems a little convoluted but it’s been going really well. We each do about 8 hours a day where we are solely responsible for him. I am a night owl so I take the night shift 830p-430a and she takes over before dawn as I go to bed. I do a few hours in the afternoon so she can get a break 4 days a week and she gives me an entire day off once a week. We do the evening routine together. He sits in his swing as we cook and eat dinner. He loves just staring at Andrea as she eats. Then we give him a bath, swaddle him, feed him, and read him a story. He falls asleep really easily but has trouble staying asleep, so I stand guard most of the night to slip the pacifier back in, rock him, or give him his night feeds.

Thoughts

I find the day-to-day existence of caring for a newborn incredibly exhausting but I’m getting more used to it every day. I am so looking forward to the future, even the short term future when he can just play and interact with us more, but especially the long term, when I can talk and play with him, we can do things as a family, and help guide him through childhood. For now though, I’m just so happy to be his dad.

Source: http://www.andiemitchell.com/thoughts-on-fatherhood/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

[hungryrunner]

HEALTH, FITNESS & HAPPINESS: LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE

Given the fact that I spend the majority of my time writing about health and fitness and running and exercise, you might think that after a few years, I’d be pretty sick of it all.

But I’m not. That’s why I chose this as a career. After I worked for a few years as a personal trainer, in the heart of it all, I knew that I wanted to take the new passion I had found and combine it with an old love—writing.

So, that’s what I did, and here I am.

I’m not sick of it all. In fact, I’m only just getting started. But I have come to find that there are certain things that do tend to get on my nerves.

The other day I took a screenshot of the homepage of a website that will remain unnamed, not because I was impressed by it, but because it was kind of disheartening to look at.

“10 Ways to flatten your belly”

“15 Foods that Banish Belly Bloat”

“This Workout  Will Get You a Hollywood Body”

These were the headlines being promoted in the “Health and Fitness” section of a major website, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few years, it’s that these things have almost nothing to do with improving your health or fitness.

There’s no such thing as a workout that can get you a “Hollywood Body,” whatever that even is. A “flat” belly is an overrated aesthetic that’s probably not worth all of the sacrifices you’ll need to make in order to achieve it (although I do get why it’s a “thing” and, if I’m being honest, am personally mesmerized by the allure from time to time), and belly bloat? Really? There are no other more interesting health- or fitness- related topics we can talk about?

I beg to differ.

Does the media keep perpetuating these same “fluffy” stories because we keep clicking them? Or do we keep clicking them because it’s all we’re being offered?

I mean, that’s a complicated debate that applies to much more than just health and fitness content, but in either case I’m not so sure there’s a clear answer.

But the one thing I do know is that I am trying my hardest to not waste time by contributing to this pile of unhelpful-ness.

I can’t say that I haven’t been slightly or even fully guilty of it in the past (especially when I was just starting out), but as my knowledge has grown and my experience has widened I’ve become more and more adamant about avoiding it.

I can’t think of a better example to help more clearly explain what I’m talking about than a recent experience of my own, as a fitness content consumer rather than a “manufacturer,” if you will.

So, remember how before I mentioned that I get the whole “belly fat” thing? Well I do, because as much as I exercise and eat well, the one place where my body refuses to lose fat is in my lower abdomen. I know, me and almost every other woman out there, right?

Since mid January, I’ve been following a strength training plan for nearly eight weeks. I’ve watched my arms and shoulders become more defined. I’ve noticed a nice increase in muscle mass and definition in my quads and my glutes (thank you squats!), but the fat around my lower abdomen continues to cling to my tummy.

I don’t know the answer to everything, but I’m educated in health and fitness enough to know that since my exercise and sleep habits are pretty on point, the answer to getting that belly fat to finally go away likely lies in reevaluating my diet and adding a little bit more high-intensity cardio to my workout routine. Only that’s not something I really want to do, because I’m pretty happy with my current eating habits, and even with a schedule that limits me to about 45 minutes of gym time in the early morning, I already exercise six days a week.

But that’s a whole other story.

Read the rest of my post here.

#fit fam #fitfluential #fitness #health #healthy living #real talk #runblr #running #run chat

[aurora1dpreferences]

#385 - Type 1 Diabetes

Huge and special thanks to @beeebuzzzcrap and a couple of anons for giving me information to make this a lot more realistic and informed. They gave me so much information and were so helpful so thank you so, so much! xx

Harry: You went into the kitchen to fill up the fourth glass of water in the hour.  Pressing your free hand into the counter top, you downed it in a couple minutes, rubbing your eyes. It was only 5p.m but you were exhausted. Just out of curiosity, you went to get your meter, bringing it back into the kitchen and setting it down, laying everything out. Taking one of the test strips, you put it in the meter and grabbed the little packet with the rubbing alcohol wipes. It was a slightly annoying procedure, but with the way you were feeling tonight, you wanted to be on the safe side. As you wiped off your fingertip, you got ready to prick it, letting the blood feed into the meter. Giving it a couple of seconds, the number came up on the digital screen and you weren’t overly surprised. The number read quite a bit higher than it should’ve been. After filling your glass again, you walked back to the living room and sat next to Harry. “You okay?” he asked, looking over at you. “Can you grab my insulin kit, please,” you rubbed your eyes, not answering his question. “Yeah,” he nodded, getting up off of the couch and going to your room to grab it as well as the insulin, bringing it back to you. “Do you need-” “No, no I got it,” you took it from him, unzipping the case and pulling out one of the syringes. Once the insulin was in the chamber, you lifted your shirt up and pinched your skin together, pushing the needle in. Harry stayed quiet, watching you. “Okay…” you murmured out, taking it out and disposing of it. Coming back to the couch, you grabbed your water and took a small sip. “I gotta give it a while to kick in…” you said softly, taking a deep breath. “Was it a spike or something?” he asked curiously. You nodded your head, pretty sure that was what it was. “If it doesn’t go down in the next 45 minutes or so, I’m gonna have to call my doctor,” you explained, Harry nodding along and being ready in case anything happened.

Liam: It came across as the flu, the nausea, the fever, the fatigue, they were all symptoms that you thought would pass. When things seemed to be getting worse though, you had to look at other options. Food nor liquids would stay in your tummy and you found yourself just wanting to sleep and stay quiet. You didn’t want to talk to anyone. “Babe,” Liam grabbed a backpack and started putting some things in it like your charger. You were confused. “What?” you murmured. “We’re gonna go see your doctor at the hospital okay?” he said with a gentle tone, grabbing a blanket for you. “Mm, no,” you frowned, but Liam nodded his head and pulled the blankets back from you, helping you sit up enough for him to get a sweatshirt over your head. “Yes,” he nodded, helping you stand up out of bed. Rubbing your eyes, you followed him out to the front landing, putting your shoes on. “When was the last time you checked your blood sugar levels?” he asked when he opened the front door. “Shit, I uh… I don’t know,” you rubbed your eyes and walked around to the passenger’s seat. “I bet that’s what all this is,” you sighed, shaking your head slightly. When you got to the hospital, Liam followed behind you as you went to let a nurse know. Knowing it could get worse in a short period of time, people were ready to come help you right away. Sure enough, DKA was the cause. You were hooked up to an I.V. to replenish your body of fluids and you had to go through with electrolyte replacement as well as insulin therapy. It was a longer visit than expected. Liam pulled a chair up next to your bed and leaned back. “Feeling better?” he asked, rubbing his arms. “I will soon hopefully.”

Niall: It had been a couple weeks since you had started with a pump, and it gave you somewhat of a new freedom. You were able to eat when you were hungry instead of paying close attention to what time it was so you would be able to take your insulin afterwards. Niall sat across from you in the restaurant, looking through the menu. “You’re good right?” he asked, glancing up for a moment, his curiosity about the device fueling questions. “Yup!” you smiled widely, looking up at him. Niall smiled softly and reached a hand across the table. You put yours in his and smiled softly, setting the menu down on the table for a moment. It had been your first date night in a while, his schedule hitting a quiet point and your new pump giving you some more freedom. Niall looked down at his menu again, smiling softly. “This all looks really yummy but I think I’m gonna get like… the chicken with all the veggies and stuff,” he pointed out. “I’m gonna get the cheese pasta with tomato sauce,” you grinned, tapping your finger over the item. Niall smiled widely and nodded his head, sliding the menu off to the side so when the waiter came around, they would know you were ready. “This is so nice, to finally be having a date night,” he said softly, rubbing his thumbs over your fingers. “Without having to worry about anything,” you added, nodding your head. “I agree.” “So it’s not uncomfortable or anything?” he asked a little quieter. “Not really? It’s just getting used to it that’s a little weird feeling, but I wouldn’t say it’s uncomfortable, no.” Smiling even more, Niall nodded his head, picking up his drink and holding it up. “To new experiences then.”

Louis: When you got to the kitchen table with your meter, you were already shaking. “Lou?” you called out, rubbing your arm as you tried to get everything out and set up, but your hands were shaking too much.  “Yeah?” he said casually, coming into the dining room where you were. “You okay?” he furrowed his eyebrows, pulling the chair out next to you. “Help,” you cleared your throat, knowing he knew how to work your meter. Nodding his head, he took over for you, putting the test strip in and opening the packet for the isopropyl alcohol wipe. He put your hand in his to try and steady it out a little bit, wiping down your finger tip before bringing the meter up and pricking your finger. Once the blood was inside, he stood up and got a tissue to wipe the little bit of blood that was on your finger. When you got the numbers back, they were low, too low to be okay. “Alright,” Louis smiled reassuringly. “I’m gonna get you something to eat okay? Just stay here.” Louis disappeared into the kitchen for a moment before coming back quickly with a juice box and a couple packages of fruit gummies. “Is this good?” You nodded and smiled at him, starting to eat it as soon as you could get things open. Your body needed food and it was making that incredibly obvious. He sat with you to make sure that nothing escalated. “Feeling okay?” he asked when you were done. The shaking had slowed down already, but you were still coming down from it. It would take a little bit for the balance to be even again.

Zayn: Dinner was almost ready so you went up into your bedroom to administer your meal time dose. With everything set up, you pushed the needle into your tummy, injecting the insulin and giving the needle a couple seconds afterwards before pulling it out and disposing of it properly. Once everything was cleaned up, you came downstairs, smelling the lovely aroma of the food Zayn was getting out of the oven. “Smells lovely babe,” you smiled, grabbing a couple plates from the cupboard and setting the table. “Yeah? I’m glad,” he smiled as you grabbed a couple of forks and knives from the drawer, bringing them to the table. It was as normal as most homes, the only big difference was making sure you had your insulin and ate enough carbohydrates at dinner. Having diabetes didn’t stop you from having a ‘normal’ life. Sure, you had to take more precautions, but it was part of your routine. You took care of yourself. You helped Zayn bring the food to the table before taking a seat and filling up your plate. “You remembered your medicine right?” Zayn reminded you, even though he knew, he was always making sure. “Yes,” you nodded, going to the next dish to grab some of it. “I’m starving now though,” you chuckled slightly, waiting for him to have all of his food before digging in. “Just checking,” he grinned, joining you in indulging in dinner. Having him remind you every day, whether it be on the phone or in person, was unnecessary sometimes, but there would always be the off day where his reminder could save you from a lot of unnecessary illnesses and feelings, so it wasn’t as unnecessary as you sometimes thought.

#one direction #1d #preference #imagine #request #harry styles #liam payne #niall horan #louis tomlinson #zayn malik

[a-woman-apart]

Trying to Return from Mixed Mania and Effexor Withdrawal

A/N: This post describes the aftermath of mixed mania/a mixed episode of bipolar disorder. Mixed episodes are high-risk times for bipolar patients, because there is extreme agitation and mood swings that can be accompanied by suicidal thoughts and severe anxiety. The increased energy associated with this state of being can make someone more likely to harm themselves as a result of the extreme discomfort linked to this state.

If you feel overwhelmed, please reach out for help.

Suicide prevention hotline:

1-800-273-8255

Suicide Prevention Hotline Chat

Crisis Text Line

I know that I wrote a behemoth of a post this morning, but I’m going to try to type another post before I force myself to go to work today. I am using all the willpower that I can muster while still being faint, clammy, and experiencing minor versions of some of my old symptoms. I managed working yesterday, but that was only by telling myself, “Just take this one day at a time. If you go today, it doesn’t mean that you are going to be able to go tomorrow, but you have to at least try to get moving.”

“Just do it for today.”

I slept extra hours for the first time in weeks, getting up briefly just so that I could take my morning medicines, before going back to bed. I had terrible dreams though, that my parents were taking me to doctor’s appointments (in addition to the ones I already go to) and that the doctor kept increasing my medicine and I couldn’t keep up. The pills were literally multiplying in their containers, getting mixed together and overflowing to where I couldn’t put the tops on them. It is quite an appropriate reflection of how I feel right now.  

Even if it was fitful, being able to sleep a little more is a good sign that my mixed mania/hypomania is coming under control. That, or maybe it was just all the Hydroxyzine I took yesterday (still not a fan of that pill).

How I dealt with the anxiety and paranoia of going back to work, though, was to tell my boyfriend about my fears and have him point out the inconsistencies (he dragged me, y’all). I’m still worried about my performance, but I am trying to accept the fact that it needs to be okay that I can’t give my best effort right now. I’m still sick but showing up is important.

Also, the bipolar group facilitator told me, “You feel guilty” when I told her I was anxious about returning to work yesterday. It startled me, but I quickly agreed. She said, “There’s no point in you feeling bad about missing, and then you going there and being unable to concentrate.” She gave me a lot of helpful information about medication and helpful activities to do when I’m stressed. She was also the only one who fully agreed that my symptoms were withdrawal; even the ER staff believed that it might be lithium toxicity. So, they connected it more to something being added than something being taken away.

To be fair, though, I was experiencing some of my stomach problems before the Effexor was removed, and those could honestly be attributed to anxiety like my psychiatrist suggested. The issue is, though, that I usually have a very strong stomach, so the persistence and severity of the symptoms didn’t line up with anything I have previously experienced.

I have to say, though, when I looked over the activities that the group leader gave me, I couldn’t help but be taken back to my early recovery. Things like “take a bubble bath” or “go for a walk” just seem so basic to me. I already have hobbies and things that I enjoy, but I’ve been slammed so hard lately that so much of it just went away. I hadn’t been able to type up Tumblr posts because I couldn’t even really sit up straight—or think straight— enough to do it. I had become very active, walking in the park multiple times a week, but that became impossible as my physical symptoms progressed. Thankfully, I was able to still take showers, and even though I had tons of food aversions I could still eat. I kept recording my voice diaries and tracking my symptoms in my Keep app.

I’m not trying to say that it isn’t helpful that the group leader gave me mood diaries to fill out, lists of activities, etc., but I realized that I have been doing these things all along. I’m a veteran to this game and I’ve been fighting tooth and nail for my recovery. I do find them helpful in that it’s easier to send a written report to the doctor or talk about a written report in the group, than it is for me to try to recite things from my phone. Also, the group facilitator brings up aspects of bipolar that I didn’t even know existed or could affect me. Overall, I’m happy that I started going to group again. If anything, it’ll give me something to do while I’m waiting for classes to start. I plan to still go even if I do get to do summer II (all online still). I’ll get a certificate of completion after 12 weeks of group, and maybe that will tell my treatment team that I know what the heck I’m talking about.

This has been one of the most difficult times I have ever experienced in my recovery. I felt like I was just inches away from checking myself into the hospital on multiple occasions. It was never recommended to me by staff and my boyfriend and Mom were quite against it, but I think I was ready to just withdraw from my life. I knew that depending on how long they kept me, I might end up so behind financially and with work attendance that I might lose my apartment and job, but I felt like I was so out of control. I can see now the role of anxiety, and I will continue pressing for a GAD diagnosis. With what happened with the antidepressants, though, I will research any anti-anxiety medication thoroughly before I agree to add it to my regimen and will mostly seek out non-medical solutions.

Also, another thing I am considering is enrolling in schema therapy. I am experiencing some progress with CBT, but it’s been a little slow this time around (I was in therapy before with excellent results). I can’t seem to be rid of this rigid, perfectionist, and highly self-critical “schema” that I seem to exhibit. I know, I know; we don’t self-diagnose in this house, but I just feel like I have a certain script that I’m just following, even if I know the script is flawed. Sometimes I feel like I’m watching myself freak out and self-destruct and I know that it’s unnecessary, but I don’t know how to stop. Lately, I’ve found myself just telling my boyfriend (when he advises ways for me to let go of perfectionism and relax), “I understand what you’re saying, I just don’t how to do that.” I know that when he tells me I obsessively try to pick apart and analyze every aspect of my life and actions and that it’s harmful to my recovery, that he’s right, but I don’t know how to turn around the behavior.

My therapist tells me that I must challenge negative thoughts at every turn and use kinder language regarding myself. Her favorite thing to say when I say something negative is, “What’s the evidence?” If I say I’m lazy, are being a student, holding down a job consistently, and being a graduate of community college the attributes of a lazy person? Isn’t “foolish” an awfully strong word to use for missing the deadline to return a rental to the school bookstore? My progress is slow, but I wouldn’t say that I haven’t made any. I think that I just need a clear goal. I did write down on my New Year’s Resolution sheet that I want to experience less self-doubt, and there must be a way to get there.

Right now, I’m trying to live life post-relapse, and yes, I would definitely consider this a serious relapse even if it didn’t require hospitalization. Routine has always been crucial for keeping my mind from going off the deep end, so starting group and trying to return to work have been essential for me. Leisure activities are also huge, so I’ve been making plans with friends. I’m still set to go to a concert with my younger sister, and this is her first concert, so I want her to really enjoy it. The day after the concert is my nephew’s fourth birthday party. In the more immediate future, I plan to start walking in the park again, and doing my laundry and getting things cleaned up around the house. I’ve already collected some money together and scheduled some bill payments while I’m still able. Next Friday’s paycheck is going to really suck, but I think I should still be able to pay rent, thanks to my mom helping me.

Miraculously, I seem to have survived this, so now I just have to take it one day at a time. My worst fears were nearly realized, but I climbed the highs of mania without falling off the mountain. Mixed mania is one of the worst things I have ever felt, in that I maintained my cognitive abilities but at the same time felt like I was going completely crazy. It nearly destroyed my life, but with determination and the help of loved ones and my treatment team I made it through.

You can, too. Don’t give up!

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