#also he’s a napper how did I forget | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bungou-stray-dingus · 4 years

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Hey I like your blog a lot but I have to create an account to send this! :) can you write Dazai, Chuuya and Atsushi finding their s/o crying alone in the closet? Been feel down lately, thank 🥺💘

a/n : I hope you feel better. If you ever need to talk to someone I'm always here to talk to. I hope you like this sweetie. Much love to you, dear.

Dazai

He was used to you not answering your phone every time he called, you were an avid napper and he only called as much as he did to make sure you knew that he cared. He knew that you enjoyed waking up to see your phone screen filled with notifications from him, missed calls, and so many voicemails that the mailbox was filled completely.

He started getting slightly antsy when you didn't respond to any of his texts or calls by mid-evening. Sure, you napped a lot, but you never stayed asleep this long. You would at least have gotten up to use the restroom or get something to eat or something. "Maybe she just didn't check her phone..." He mused to himself, spinning around in his desk chair at the office, staring at his phone screen that was opened to your texts. He was waiting for those three little dots that would indicate that you were responding, that you were okay.

"Get off your phone, Dazai." Kunikida said, smacking the top of his head with his notebook as he walked by. He grunted and set his phone down on his desk, turning back to the work on the table. Sure, he didn't actually enjoy doing work, but it was the only thing that got his mind off the fact that you weren't writing back.

Back at the apartment you shot up in your bed, it felt like there was a giant weight on your chest, your head was pounding and your vision was going blurry as you felt the tears coming on. Nothing in particular had triggered your anxiety attack, sometimes it just happened. You clutched your hands to your chest as you kicked the blankets from around your legs, but they only got more tangled. Your breathing became harsher, the feeling of being trapped had you in a full blown panic and you kept kicking, trying to remove the blankets. You moved off the bed, and as you looked around you realized how dark it was. Your senses were heightened, you heard every noise from outside, you could feel the vibrations in the floor as trucks drove by, everything had you on edge.

You ran to the closet door, grabbing one of Dazai's shirts off the floor knowing that his scent would be on the shirt, you slumped down against the wall gripping the shirt tightly and bringing it up to your face, trying to find some comfort in his familiar musky scent. Your tears flowed silently as you rocked back and forth on the floor, trying to even out your breaths and calm down as much as you could.

It was 8:30 at night and you still hadn't responded to any of his calls or texts. He grabbed his coat off the back of his chair and slipped his arms through as he made his way out of the office. He was always the first person to leave, but nobody had ever seen Dazai move so quick. He ran out of the building, and luckily for him your apartment was only a block away. He started off in a sprint, his skin hyper aware, hoping to feel the much anticipated vibration of his phone in his pocket.

When he got to the apartment complex he saw that none of the lights were on in any of the windows and he began to panic, fumbling with the building key as he tried to unlock the main door to get in. He couldn't steady his hands and it took him a full two minutes just to get the key in the lock, but as soon as he did he had the door flung in and he was racing up that stairs, skipping two at a time to get to his floor as quick as he could.

He got to the apartment door and he was more careful this time, worrying that maybe someone was in there with you. He slowly unlocked the door and turned the handle, walking on his toes as he stepped into your shared apartment, careful not to make any of the floorboards creak or knock into anything. He didn't turn on any lights, but he could see in the moonlight that everything looked the same as the way he had left it this morning when he went to work. There was no sign of any struggling, but you were still nowhere to be found.

As he walked further into the house he could hear small whimpers coming from the bedroom. His mind jumped to conclusions, thinking that you had been attacked during your nap, and that the perpetrator had left you for dead. He ran as fast as he could, knocking into the decorative table that was against the wall, knocking off the pictures that had lined the table. He didn't care as the glass shattered against the hardwood floors, he just needed to get into the room.

He kicked open the bedroom door and heard your soft squeal from the closet. "Y/N?" He whispered your name as he walked over to the closet, opening the door to find you curled up in a ball on the floor of the closet. "Hey... you okay?" He asked, bending down to sit on the floor next to you. He was slightly taken aback as you scurried across the floor to move onto his lap, your arms wrapping around his neck, burying your face in his chest. "It's okay... It's okay, my belladonna. I'm here now."

He had only been slightly aware of your anxiety, you had never let on to him how bad it could get at any point during your relationship, and he surely hadn't seen you this bad off. It broke his heart to know that you had been crying by yourself in the closet for god knows how long. He cradled you against his chest, his arms loosely wrapped around you, not wanting you to feel too constricted in his hold, but he didn't want to let you go.

He would always nonchalantly ask how you were feeling every morning, making sure you were okay before he left for work. He set your phone up with a special ringtone for his calls and texts only so you knew it was him, and his texts would always be things along the lines of him telling you he loved you or asking if you were okay.

You were his beautiful belladonna, his one and only, and he wanted nothing more than for you to be okay.

Chuuya

He kissed you softly before leaving, not able to look directly at you as you pouted at him from the bed. It was supposed to be his day off, you had planned the entire day for the two of you and it was centered around him specifically. "I'll try to be back soon, baby." He said, trying not to let his frustration show through his words, he felt just as bad about leaving as you did seeing him leave.

When he got to work he realized that he had left his phone back at the penthouse, he was forgetful when he was aggravated. Now he couldn't even text you to let you know that he loved you, to tell you that he couldn't wait to see you. He was pissed at Mori for calling him in, and he was pissed at himself for accepting it. He could have said no, he should have said no. He knew that you had spent all week planning for this day, the two of you had been looking forward to it since the beginning of the week when he had informed you that he had a day off.

His phone started ringing and he picked it up, not giving the person on the other end a second to speak before he started screaming. "Will you just piss off! Leave me alone for a god damned minute!" He slammed the phone down onto the receiver and sighed. It felt good to let some of his anger out, and he didn't really care who the unsuspecting victim was on the other end of the line. Leaning his head against the back of his chair he looked up at the clock on the wall, it was already three in the afternoon, he wondered what you were doing.

You had called his phone once, just wanting to hear his voice. You missed him even more right now, knowing that he should be here with you and he wasn't. It wasn't fair, but it also wasn't his fault. You knew that he couldn't say no to his boss, it didn't take away the sting of watching him walk out that door though.

When his phone started vibrating on the nightstand you couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed. He wasn't here, and now you couldn't even talk to him because he had left without his cellphone. You sat on the bed trying to figure out what to do, and then you had it, the best idea! You pulled up the number pad and began dialing the number, it would connect you directly to his office.

You pressed the call button and held the phone to your ear, the smile already forming on your face as you waited for his voice to come through. Your mouth opened to speak, but he was faster, screaming at you through the line and you could only sit in shock, your mouth still hanging open as his voice rang in your ears. You were about to respond but you heard the phone slam on his end, and then the dead silence right before the dial tone.

Did he know it was you? Was he mad at you for calling while he was at work? Did he not like you calling his office phone? Your hands were shaking, you couldn't even hold your phone. It dropped down to the bed next to you and you slowly got up, your movements were robotic as you made your way to the kitchen. You grabbed the shot glass out of the cabinet and poured yourself a shot of whiskey. You hated the taste, but you hoped that the sting of the alcohol hitting your stomach would overpower the sting from Chuuya's words.

It didn't take much, you were a lightweight, and you soon found out that your tolerance for whiskey was even lower than your tolerance for vodka. Your head felt heavy, and when you got up to go back into the bedroom it felt like the gravitational pull was fifty times stronger than it had been before you had drank. You used anything and everything as a crutch as you walked to the room, but it seemed like with every step you took, the door moved back further. You had lost your footing and began crawling at this point towards the door, the entire room was spinning.

You don't know how you got in the closet, but when the door was shut, no light shone through and the lack of lighting helped ease your headache. The only problem now was that you were stuck with your over analytical drunken thoughts, and that wasn't a good thing at all. He hated you, he was going to leave you, that's why he accepted the job offer. He didn't want to be with you today in the first place. He was cheating on you. Your call had interrupted his fling with another woman. You started crying, and it didn't seem like it would ever end, the thoughts only continued to grow more and more painful as you dwelled on them longer.

Chuuya was called into the meeting room, and as he sat around the table he looked at everyone's faces. He expected one of them to look pissed at him, or maybe call him out for being such an ass to them over the phone, but none of them seemed phased. He cleared his throat before speaking. "Which one of you fuckers called me earlier?" They all looked confused, none of them had called him, but now he was the one confused. "Well who else has my office number?"

"I gave Y/N your office phone number, just in case there was an emergency and-" He held his hand up to cut Kouyou off, his other hand pinching the bridge of his nose as her words sank in. None of them had called... you were the only other person who would have that number... He had talked to you that way...

"Dammit!" He shouted, pushing back from the large table. Everyone's eyes followed him as he stormed out of the room, running back to his office to call back the last number. It rang and rang, but there was no answer. Then it went to voicemail. "HEEEEYYYY!!! This is Y/N! I can't make it to the phone right now... Chuuya stop! That ticklessss...." The message stopped and the beep sounded, but he couldn't speak.

He grabbed his keys off his desk and ran out the door, trying to think of what he would say, what could he say? If he had just given you the chance to speak before going off this wouldn't even be an issue. How would you even react to seeing him running through the door? Would you allow him to take you in his arms, would you listen to his apology? Surely you couldn't believe that he would purposely talk to you that way! He loved you dearly, he would never talk to you in that tone, even when you piss him off, which was a rarity, he still was able to keep his cool with you. You were too important to him to even think of talking to you in such a way that risked having you leave him.

He ran out of the building to his car, shoving the key into the ignition and pulling out of the lot, his tires squealing as they peeled across the asphalt. His fears were taking over as he sped down the freeway, hoping that he could make it to the penthouse before you left. He was so scared that you would walk out on him, and although it seems silly that you wold leave him over something so seemingly small, he knew how sensitive you were. You were so delicate, fragile... he was so worried that he had broken you.

He ran into the penthouse, his body was going the same speed his sports car had been going down the highways. Getting to you was of the utmost importance, he had to apologize, he had to tell you that he didn't mean to speak to you that way at all. When he walked in he saw the bottle of whiskey out on the counter, it was still open, the lid laying next to it. The small shot glass had a small tinge of your lipstick on the brim, and although he didn't like the idea of you drinking by yourself, at least he knew that you were still there.

"Y/N? Baby, where are you at?" He called out, looking around the open living area. He would have seen you when he walked in if you were there though, so he made his way to the bathroom door, knocking lightly before opening the door and peaking in, only to find it empty. He turned to the bedroom door that was still slightly cracked open, and that's when he heard your quiet sobs coming from the room.

He pushed the door open and looked around, expecting to find you on the bed, but it was empty as well. The sound had definitely come from this room though, so he looked around the room. A small hiccup sounded from the closet and he made his way over, tapping his knuckle against the door rhythmically before asking if he could open the door. You didn't respond, and he didn't quite know if that meant yes or no, but he didn't want to keep you waiting for an explanation, and he didn't want to stand around while you were obviously crying behind the door. He turned the knob slowly and pulled the door open, and when he saw you it was like his heart broke.

You were curled in the fetal position on the floor, clinging onto one of his hoodies like it was a lifeline, sobbing into the fabric. Your body was trembling with the shaky intermittent breaths you took in between your silent sobs. He dropped to the floor, reaching out a hand to place on your shoulder, but you jerked away from his touch. "I'm so sorry, Y/N." He whispered weakly, it killed him seeing you cry, knowing that it was his fault only made it worse.

"Was she prettier than me? Do you love her?" Your voice was muffled behind the hoodie, and he wasn't sure if he heard you correctly. You peered up from the clothing, squinting your eyes as you tried to adjust to the lighting. "You won't answer..."

"You... you think that I was... cheating?" He had heard you right, but that didn't make it any easier for him to process what you had said. Did you really think he was capable of such a thing? You sniffled and your bottom lip jutted out, he reached out to hold your face in his hands, brushing away the tears with his thumbs. "Baby doll, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on, the only girl I ever have and ever will love." Had he given you a reason to doubt him? Had he not told you that he loved you enough? Did he don't tell you enough just how gorgeous you were? He would gladly remind you every second of every day just to ease your worrying mind.

He ended up sitting with you in the closet for a bit, he sat against the wall with your head in his lap. His fingers trailed absentmindedly across your body as he listened to you speak. You told him about your insecurities, how you never felt like you were good enough for him, that you were always so scared that he'd find someone better someday. When you finished speaking he made sure to reassure you that you were beyond good enough for him, that you were too good for him. There would never be anyone better than you, it was impossible for there to be someone in the entire galaxy who was as amazing, beautiful, and genuinely perfect as you.

Atsushi

Atsushi was very protective of you, considering you were the only person in his life who has ever genuinely loved him, he didn't want to lose you or the affection you gave him. He was always scared that you would leave him or that someone would take you away. He thought that he was cursed, that everything good that ever came to him would eventually die or be destroyed. He was under the impression that he didn't deserve happiness, but once he found you, he was starting to believe that maybe it was possible, maybe for once in his life he was allowed to experience true joy. The protectiveness wasn't that bad, it was just him acting on his fears, and that was something that you had gotten used to. He wasn't over bearing, he didn't keep you locked in the house or anything, he just always checked up on you, his voice was always filled with worry whenever he called, he just loved you so much, he wanted to be sure that you were okay, that you were going to be there when he came back home. You always reassured him that you would be right there waiting for him, and you could picture in your head his cheeks burning bright red whenever you said those simple words, reminding him that you loved him dearly and that you would never leave.

You were already awake, fresh out of the shower, padding around the kitchen as you made him breakfast. He always slept in a little later, his ability was tiring for him, and using it left him exhausted. He needed extra sleep to keep up with work, but you couldn't deny how precious he looked when he was sleeping, and you always got to witness him when he first woke. He would trudge into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, his mouth stretched in a wide "O" as he yawned, before finally opening his eyes and seeing you standing at the stove working on whatever food was on the stove. It happened as planned, a perfect daily happening that you looked forward to every morning. He wrapped his arms around your back, pressing a swift kiss to your neck before working to help you lay out the plates on the table. "You're going to be okay while I'm at work, right?" It was always the same question every morning, as if anything would make today any different from the days before.

"I'll be fine Atushi. You really need to stop worrying about me so much. It's much more dangerous for you out there than it is for me in here." You tried to calm his nerves, turning around to look at him. He was sitting at the table, his head in his hands, his mind filled with worry. You made your way over to where he was sitting and draped your arms over his shoulders, planting a small kiss to the top of his head, a small sigh of relief escaped his lips as you pulled away.

"Promise me, if anything happens, you'll call me. Okay?" He turned his head to look up at you, his face becoming flushed when he saw how close your face was to his own. You nodded, it was a quick jerky movement and the smile that replaced the small pout that he had been wearing only seconds before made your heart flutter. He was perfect in every way, and sometimes you wondered if you deserved such a man as him. You pecked the tip of his nose before heading back over to the stove to flip the pancakes. Today would be a good day, a normal day, just like any other day. He had nothing to worry about.

Atsushi got into the office and everyone could tell he was on edge. They were dealing with the Port Mafia, Akutagawa being the worst of them. The Port wanted to get their hands on him, and he was paranoid about how far they were willing to go to get to him. Every other worry he had about you previously seemed like nothing now, the Port Mafia was one of the biggest threats he had to deal with, and if there was anyone who would be able to get their hands on you, it would be them.

"Hey, come on... don't worry so much. She's always been safe before, she'll be fine today, and every day after." Dazai tried to console a panicking Atsushi. He was sitting at his desk, his pen tapping loudly against the hard wood, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip so hard that Dazai was sure that it would begin bleeding any second now.

"Before... before the Mafia was after me? That's what you mean, right?" Atsushi asked sarcastically, finally dropping his pen and spinning his chair around to face Dazai. "I...I can't lose her Dazai-san... I can't!" The tears threatened to spill over, his heart rate was rapid, his breath came out quickly and when he tried to inhale it sounded more like he was choking.

"They don't even know where she is, where you live. They know nothing. She's going to be alright." Dazai patted his back before turning away, leaving Atsushi alone to dwell on his fears. His head fell against the desk with a loud thud as the tears finally fell from his eyes.

You were sitting on the couch, flipping through tv stations trying to find something that could be used as background noise for your daily afternoon nap. You finally settled on the Weather Channel before getting comfortable enough to close your eyes and get some rest. You had just begun to fall into a peaceful slumber when you heard the front door knob being wiggled. You tried to brush it off as someone possibly coming to the wrong apartment door, just an accident, that's what it was. You tried to settle back down on the pillow, but then the knob was wiggled more violently. You sat straight up, grabbing your phone as you quietly moved off the couch and tiptoed into your bedroom. There was a pounding on the door, and as soon as you got to the bedroom you shut the door behind you and locked it. The violent pounding and the jerking of the doorknob seemed to go on endlessly. You were panicking as you held the phone against your chest, looking around your room to try to find somewhere that you could hide and call Atsushi.

The closet door was cracked open and you hurried over, grabbing a metal hanger from the rack and wrapping it around the handles on the inside. You tried to calm yourself as the sounds of the possible intruder trying to break their way into your home echoed throughout the house. Your hands were shaking and your palms were sweaty as you cowered in the far corner of the closet, trying to pull up Atsushi's number. You held the phone to your ear and took a shaky breath as the ringing resounded through the speaker. It only took one ring for him to answer, you never called him while he was working, so he knew there was something wrong.

"Y/N! Are you okay? What's wrong?" The panic in his voice was still nothing close to the panic you were feeling in that moment. You wanted nothing more than for him to be here with you, to let you know that everything was going to be okay.

"S-someone... they're... trying to g-get in..." You stuttered out in a shaky whisper, your cheeks were wet and stained with the tears that had fallen and were still falling. You heard the sound of Atsushi's phone being dropped, hitting the hard wood floors of the office with a loud thud as a large gush of wind whistled through the speakers.

You pulled your knees up to your chest and buried your face between them, trying to control your breathing as you listened out for the banging on the door. It had stopped completely, and you feared that maybe the person had finally made it in and was now looking for you. You tried to make out any sounds of footsteps or talking, but everything was silent. Everything seemed so still, it was eerie, and that scared you even more.

Atsushi was racing down the back alleys, hoping and praying that he would get to you in time. He should have trusted his gut feeling that he had this morning and just stayed home with you. The feeling that something bad would happen had lingered with him all through the night and all morning during breakfast, and he had been right. He was running at the speed of light, his body being propelled forward with the sheer force of anger and fear.

When he made it up to the apartment he saw that the door wasn't opened, and he didn't know if that made him feel better or worse. Would someone have shut the door after doing damage? He wasn't sure. Most movies he had seen had the door left open after a crime was committed, and all the cases he had worked were either outside or in warehouses, so he wasn't really sure what to think.

His hands were shaking as he reached out to grab the door knob, it was still locked. He saw the marks on the door though, signs of someone beating at it repeatedly, the wood was scuffed and in some places even chipped. Someone had really wanted to get in, but whoever it was either didn't have an ability, or just didn't want to attract attention and decided not to use it at all. He pulled out his keys and quickly unlocked the door, pushing it open slowly and peering around the room to see if you were anywhere close by.

The Weather Channel was on, but other than that, there was no sound coming from that room, or the house at all. It made his heart stop, did something actually happen to you? Did this person find some other point of entry? He quickly shut the door behind him and began looking around. He was scared to call out your name, fearful that if someone was still there they would definitely hurt you when they heard him. So he tiptoed, hoping that his shoes wouldn't be too loud against the hard wood floors, but at this point with the silence, everything seemed loud. Even the sound of his breathing seemed to be too loud in his ears.

When he was done checking over the main floor of the apartment he moved to the bedroom, wiggling the doorknob and finding that it had been locked. He knew that you were in there, whether you were alone or not was the main issue. He didn't want to wait to see if you would come open the door yourself, so he kicked it in. That's when he heard your loud scream from the closet. He rushed over and tried to pull the doors open, only to find that they too had been secured shut. "NO! Stay away from me! M-my boyfriend is a tiger! He'll kill you!" He could hear the desperation, the terror in your voice as you screamed. If you weren't so petrified, he might have possibly chuckled at your words, but now wasn't the time. He did take pride in the fact that you knew he would defend you, that he would always be there to keep you safe.

"It's me, angel. Please, open the door." His soft voice sounded heavenly to you. It was salvation, it was the voice of your savior. You quickly yanked the hanger away, and as soon as he knew he could get in he yanked the door open, dropping to the floor next to you and pulled you into his arms. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N. I wasn't here, I'm so so sorry."

You both were crying at this point. Your forehead rested against his chest as you let your tears fall into his lap. His arms stayed wound tightly around you, afraid that you would run if he let you go. His tears fell like rain into your hair, his head was hung low as guilt and sham overcame him. "You needed me and I wasn't here. I promise, from now on, I will make sure nothing like this ever happens again. You don't need to be afraid anymore, angel." He murmured as he planted a garden of kisses along the top of your head. "Everything will be okay, I promise."

a/n: I'm sorry this took so long, I hope you're feeling a little better now. I hope I've fulfilled your request need and that you enjoy these scenarios. Please, don't hesitate to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. <3

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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years

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August Contest Submission #16: The Transfer Student

Words: ca. 2,000 Setting: Modern AU Lemon: No CW: Bullying, arranged marriage, mild angst, talk of suicide

Elsa was a new student on Arendelli High in Tokyo, Japan. Despite her constant reminders to her parents that she didn’t need their help picking school, they had persisted, Elsa had had to give in eventually. The school was what Elsa expected it would be, full of very antagonistic, rich, spoiled brat students. She quickly rose to popularity which she kind of expected. Not only was she the heir of a well-known, rich CEO and granddaughter of a corporate empire, she was also conventionally seen as attractive, which had both perks and cons. One of the cons was being constantly bombarded by the popular kids as they tried to get her into one of their ‘exclusive clubs’, which she had to persistently decline.

Which earned her the title of ‘Snow Queen’ in no time at all. “As usual,” she sighed. “It’s like some sort of a tradition.”

This time she wasn’t going to just give up. She didn’t hate them, per se. She just couldn’t stand them. They were wildly immature, highly superficial if her overhearing their very loud gossip in the stall was any indication, back when she happened to be in one after helping to clean the bathroom. They also bullied the only person she actually wanted to get close to.

See, Elsa had a secret, just like everybody else, but this secret she cannot let anyone know. Not her parents nor her friends. Not if she can help it.

She’s into the same sex,

swings the other way,

flower napper,

gay for girls,

You get the idea.

The girl named Anna was from her class too, she was really smart and got a scholarship to the school, so she wasn’t from money, as Elsa heard from one of the gossips. That was why a lot of the superficial ones bullied her. Elsa fancied that the real reason they were so harsh on Anna was that she was more beautiful than them and they felt threatened by her beauty, it might actually be true. Elsa once bumped into her ‘accidentally’ at lunch and was about to talk to her and maybe invite her to coffee but the redhead only apologized profusely and excused herself.

Elsa felt guilty after that. She felt like she should be doing something to change this situation, she feared that the bullying might get to her one day. She wanted to do something for the girl so despite her hesitance she contacted someone she can even remotely consider her ‘friend.’

“Yellow?” Elsa sneered as soon as she heard his voice.

“Oh, Elsa I can hear your sneer from here, if you need something from me then you would have to be a bit nicer.”

Elsa conceded and breathed in. “Fine. I need your help with something… and yes I can hear your grin reaching from ear to ear here too.”

“Oh, dear Elsa. What might this help be? Is it something your Mommy and Daddy cannot solve for you?” Hans replied.

Elsa snapped at that comment. “You bring up my parents and I hang up,” she threatened.

Hans knew that she meant it. “Alright Snow Queen, tell me what has got your ire this time.”

“It’s not a what, it’s a who.”

“Already? You just moved in the school.” “It’s not that!” Elsa said, flabbergasted the situation that she was in. “I…I want to court someone.”

“Oh, so it’s that,” Hans replied, seemingly reminiscent.

Elsa doesn’t blame him. Sometime they forget that they’re more similar than they think, since Hans is gay too.

See here: Hans and Elsa were to be betrothed, and so both of them had hired investigators to follow each other and find a reason to cancel the marriage. This was how they had discovered each other’s secret which, oddly enough, is what got them to keep the arrangement, since if it came to it, they’d let each have more leeway or even a chance to pick who they really love. They decided they are both fine with that kind of arrangement since eventually they’ll give in to their parents’ request and they would rather end up with someone they can negotiate with.

“Can’t you just…I don’t know. Charm her or something, like talk about how you’re the daughter of great CEO and have a corporate empire or something?”

“Hans,” Elsa said, as she held the bridge of her nose, she’s just basically done. “I’m not like you, and it doesn’t work like that.”

“Hey, just throwing around ideas out here.” Hans defended himself. “Also it worked for me.”

“Well, I’m not like you. Prince Charming!” Elsa pointed out.

“Yeah, I wonder why? Miss Snow Queen!” Hans retorted. “Have you tried the ‘Accidental bump method?’”

“Yeah, and it didn’t work.” Elsa sighed, remembering how much it hadn’t worked. “It even kinda backfired.”

“Oof, a tough one huh. When did you get so picky?” Hans quipped.

Elsa sneered again. “I thought we’re here to, I dunno, help me court someone? Not judge my choices?”

“I know, I know. Sheesh…” Hans attempted to diffuse the situation. “Have you tried giving her a flower?”

“Ha Ha, that’s really stereotypical,” Elsa said.

Hans continued. “Look, Elsa. The goal here is to court someone, you kinda do need it to be stereotypical in a way or, if you prefer, predictable.”

“But it’s too obvious,” Elsa argued.

“That’s kind of the point.” Hans laughed. Then he was quiet for a while.

Elsa thought about what Hans said. He did, kinda, have a really good point, Elsa had to admit. If only he used that brain of his to do good things instead of just goofing around and causing mischief then she might actually like him, not too much though, Elsa still for sure preferred girls.

“Elsa, I gotta go,” Hans said a minute later. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, and thank you,” Elsa replied. It was at these times that Elsa was happy that she let him stick around.

Elsa followed Hans’ advice and went to buy flowers. She would have to be careful about this, else she might just be at the bullying end and she couldn’t help Anna that way. Though she does think there can be sort of a camaraderie in that, she prefers if it didn’t happen. Not if she can help it.

What she decided to go with was yellow crocus flowers, as they were apparently a great symbol of hope and joyfulness. Which was definitely the message she was looking to send. Winter will indeed end, spring will come again and life will go on.

She arranged them in a vase with water to keep it fresh and left it at Anna’s desk as they were going to class next morning.

However, Elsa didn’t get quite the expected reaction. Yes, students were talking about it when they saw it but they had sort of a look of dread in their face instead of curiosity and intrigue which worried Elsa. That can’t be good but it’s not as if she can undo it now. She needs to know what’s wrong, then it came to her. It was sort of a slow realization.

“What if the culture around flowers here in Japan is vastly different compared to where I’m from?” she thought and the gears on her head started to turn. She leaned in a bit to the other table and calmed herself enough to listen in to their conversation.

“Do you think the Gyaru girls did it?”

“No even they wouldn’t stoop this low.”

“What kind of asshole would tell someone to kill theirself?”

That was the last straw for Elsa, she is still confused as to how this all worked it but if it was bad enough that even the gyaru girls won’t do it then she’s royally fucked. She was going to remove it now no matter what, reputation be damned. Then Anna walked in and headed directly to her table, on when she reached the table did Anna notice the flowers. It was like scalding hot water being poured on her when Elsa watched Anna’s expression shift from bad to worse.

Anna went running out of the room. Elsa followed quickly after, determined to comfort her properly this time. Anna was fast walking and then running and Elsa almost couldn’t keep up with her. This was a very unfortunate day to wear heals. Elsa followed her to the rooftop expecting to see her sulking there, but what she saw was something else.

Anna was on the edge of the school rooftop, she had her shoes off and she looked like she was about to… no… nooo… please don’t do it, please don’t jump.

“Hey, don’t do it, please.” It just came out of Elsa’s mouth without her permission, but she was glad that it did.

“Let me be,” Anna replied, her voice full of resolution.

“It was me, I was the one who put the flower with the vase there. Whatever it meant, it was not my intention.” Anna looked at her like she had grown two heads but Elsa kept going, she had Anna’s attention now and that’s good. She’s also slowly getting closer to her as she spoke. To pull her away if needed.

“I didn’t… I just wanted it to be your hope in this trying times. I wanted to be…”

“You’re not just making this up to make me feel better?” Anna asked, still guarded.

“If you want to, I can show you exactly where I purchased the flowers and the vase but I can’t really do that unless you get down from there first.” Anna seemed to realized she was still outside the protective fence of the rooftop, she seemed to blush at the realization. Must be from the height, Elsa thought. Anna finally moved to get to a safer location and Elsa helped her. After she was safe and sound, Anna grabbed at Elsa’s hand. For the first time since Elsa got to the roof, Anna finally met her gaze.

“Then why didn’t you just tell me?”

Elsa looked into Anna’s eyes, she didn’t find any blame or sarcasm there, it was just genuine curiosity.

“I tried and I failed the first time, I guess…I should have just tried again.” The situation of the earlier encounter was finally getting to Elsa, crashing down on her like huge waves on an unassuming shore, she holds on tighter to Anna’s hand “I’m just, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Anna traces soothing circles on Elsa’s hand.

“But I almost killed you,” Elsa says to Anna. Anna reaches for her to remove the tear that fell from Elsa’s eyes.

“I’m also being stupid, to be fair, I wasn’t in a great place but still it’s a stupid move. I’m not saying you’re off the hook, just saying it wasn’t just you.” Anna patted Elsa’s back and it worked wonders. She breathed as she hears that and despite herself, she felt a bit of relief.

“What did it mean anyway? The flowers and the vase on the table?” Elsa asked after she had retrieved her handkerchief to clear her nose with. Her back turned to Anna as a polite gesture.

“It means the whole class wants you to be dead. It’s like sending someone a coffin while they are still alive.” Anna replied.

“Oh…that’s,” Elsa started to say, “kind of morbid.” she thought outloud and Anna nodded to her in agreement.

“I think I should be more careful about this, culture difference and knowing the norms in this place.” Elsa concluded, still a bit guilt-ridden over what happened.

“It’s fine, you were new so you didn’t know. Now you know what not to do next time.” Anna replied to Elsa, and then she flashed a smile to her direction, “Like I said, still not off the hook though,” she reminded her. “You still need to make it up to me.” Elsa didn’t get it at first but when she did, she blushed profusely. She didn’t want to misunderstand more things but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t take this opportunity “So uhh…coffee?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t pass on that, but I prefer hot chocolate.”

“Me too.”

#elsanna #submission #august 2021 contest #prompt: flowers #cw: bullying #cw: arranged marriage #CW: talk of suicide #CW: mild angst

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imnotsiho · 3 years

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heirloom.

(content warning: mentions of extreme physical violence, blood, cursing? vomiting)

09/29/2021 : 5:40 PM.

"you know, there's no turning back, right?" were the exact words that weighed heavily in siho's mind, yet her body didn't seem to react. how funny. asking her if she knew there was no turning back, as if she had a choice in the first place.

had she not been as insane as she were this would be the point where she stops walking and takes a deep breath to revert her tracks and find a better way to live the rest of her life. or end the rest of her life. but.. there's also this side of her that just wants to go with it. she is already half way, after all, and one thing she hates the most is not completing what she started (even though that's what she ends up doing most of the time)

how did it even start? she doesn't even know the answer to that. was it the moment she decided to leave her family business? was it the day her car got stolen, but for some odd reason the car-napper decided to leave her wallet and bags at the parking lot with an ominous note? or was it simply an inevitable thing in her life that had resurfaced just enough for her to finally notice? growing up, she always had suspicions of several members of the family doing quite the shady acts, but not once did she ever imagine that it would be like this. they are, family, after all. maybe they just didn't like the family business since the elders always pressured their kids in being involved, so they tried to find a way out?

except the way out was the exact opposite of freedom.

the circle of life, they say. it felt as if everything was starting to erase itself away from her memories, she knew she was going to the designated place but she suddenly can't seem to remember: why am I doing this? why am I not stopping myself?

that's because she can't. once you've caught their eye, you're forever in their hands. the last thing she would want is to wound up lifeless at some street and having people dig up her private life to investigate what happened to this poor girl who eventually surfaces to be one of the two heirs left of the major car tire brand in the country. it was embarrassing, and she'd rather end up somewhere private anyway.

the same day, 9:49 PM.

five blows became twenty. eventually thirty. it's likely to reach fifty at this point. but siho is still breathing. she doesn't know how she's managing these punches being blown to her face by some 6 foot, buff looking guy who seemed as if putting hair gel every day was a personal ritual. did she take her vitamins this morning? seems like she did, she was surprised she was still alive and well despite receiving several uppercuts on her face, and hits on her lower back. that's gonna leave a mark. it was some roughly chopped piece of wood that seemed to be from a carpenter's junk. whatever. she was eventually heaving, barely catching her own breath as she tries to wipe out the blood that was eventually dripping from the sides of her mouth using the back of her hand. with bloodshot eyes she tries to get a glimpse of the man that was conducting her sweet ceremony- was it still the same man as the one earlier? did they exchange shifts already?

it was horrible to say the least. how many people survived this initiation? she wondered. she also wondered how the hell hasn't she dropped dead already. it's been what, 20 minutes of straight torture? even a 10 minute jog could take the wind away from her lungs. at this rate she's accepted her end. it was better than to wind up embarrassingly in the streets anyway. from trying to dodge their hits in order to save her face, to just leaning her body back on the wall, trying to avoid having to stand up further and just letting them beat the pulp out of her. if she lives, she lives. if she doesn't, she doesn't. life was simple all of a sudden.

"you really are his kin, huh." one of the guys sneered, giving her exactly 10 seconds to take a deep breath before he picked up the poorly chopped wood again, ready to aim. "if you find yourself waking up this week, wait for us at the same location at the exact same time." and without further ado, lifted the wood and aimed it at siho's already worn body. it was the last blow to her face at least. coup de grâce.

10/01/2021 : 11:01 PM.

"that... fucking hurts." the girl manages to utter under her breath, her lids slowly fluttering to reveal the awful place she had spent the last two days unconscious at. the sun was shining at the corner of the room. her body felt like it went through hell. technically, it did. her body was sore all over, to say the least, and she had the massive head ache she believes not a single mankind has ever experienced before.

ding. ding. ding. what the hell was that? it was her phone. too many missed calls, too many texts. too many app notifications. she has to go to the hospital. can she even do that? of course she can. what excuse will she even say? fell out the staircase... went to a hike alone but had a very unlawful journey... do they even conduct investigations without consent? fine. she decides it would be best to at least clean herself up before having her vitals checked. the less blood the less suspicions... she has to feed her cat. poor onigiri. sometimes she hopes the cat learned how to open it's box of cat food so it would self serve sometime. siho can be pretty lazy. and extremely forgetful.

it's friday. he said anytime this week, didn't he? she suddenly remembered the last words favoured to her before she passed out. what would they do if she doesn't appear anyway, and how will they know where she ran off to if she survived and simply didn't show up? one thing for sure, they didn't look stupid at all. they probably ran a thorough item check at her apartment in case she did survive and tried to run off. there was no point in finding a loophole anymore. this was the beginning of her end.

welcome home.

#life #.drabbles #( this is the story where she gets involves in some crime organization related to her family business smth smth idk i havent researched yet #( BUT ALAS the beginning to her assassin life #( sorry if some parts are cringe or dont make sense i will watch more movies so i can get inspired again and actually research Things #(if you guys wanna have some plots with this as well feel free to IM hahahahha #.heirloom #(that is the official tag for the progression of this of hers since... i wanna write her daily things as well but have no thoughts #(head empty about the lore for now heehee

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kingreywrites · 4 years

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Make my messes matter - Chapter 4 - Sleeping

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 1358

Summary: A series of seven ficlets focused on Rapunzel learning to navigate life in different ways after living eighteen years in a tower, with Gothel as a mother.

1. Touching - 2. Arguing - 3. Learning - 4. Sleeping

Read on ao3

Rapunzel never enjoyed sleeping. Or even relaxing, for that matter. Since she left her tower, some brave Coronans had asked her what she had done of her days back there, and they were all surprised to learn that she would wake up at 7am - surely, they asked, it would be easier to sleep the day away?

She had never wanted to "sleep the day away". She wanted to experience everything life had to give, and she certainly didn't want to miss the moment it would truly begin.

So Rapunzel woke up early all her life, and filled her days with more and more tasks and activities, trying to sooth her need for independence - until it wasn't possible anymore. And when she had left her tower, when Eugene and her arrived to Corona, she had seen how the city could be bustling with so much activities, so much to live through, enough that she would never grow bored again.

It had seemed too good to be true, at the time.

Now, as the recently returned lost Princess, Rapunzel was thriving. There was always something to do, to watch, to discover - and better yet, the activities she enjoyed in her tower were seen as a way to relax. In other words, she understood that relaxing could be fun, but being bored wasn't.

However, she still hated sleeping.

For her, sleeping had always been missing out, and it was even more true now - she had so much time to make up for, so many books to read, so many songs to sing, so many people to meet, why would anyone prefer sleeping over this? She understood that it repleted energy, but six hours of it were plenty enough to do that, really.

And, perhaps, it was also because she didn't want to deal with the nightmares.

These were a new development in her hatred of sleeping. Most of the time, they weren't very detailed - but they left her feeling scared and small as she woke up, and she hated that. Hated that her heart was racing until she knocked on Eugene's door, hated how jumpy she would be when they were particularly scary, hated how the night seemed to stay with her all day, the feeling sticking to her skin no matter what she did to forget it. So she slept less because, awake, she could control her fears.

After all, she thought, she had never needed that much sleep before, why should it matter now?

Well, apparently, Princess' duties were a lot more tiring than simply living her day to day life in the tower - Rapunzel learnt that pretty quickly. Days of sleeping the minimum amount of time turned into weeks turned into months, all of that with the added bonus stress of her magic hair making a come back, and the rift with her father. Eugene and Pascal were the first to notice that she was exhausted, but soon the whole castle saw the signs - before she was even willing to acknowledge them.

She simply hadn't expected Lance to be the one to act about it.

"You, Princess, need a nap," he had proclaimed after lunch, pushing her out the door with a promise to give her back once she was relaxed.

He made them go to a secluded part of the castle's gardens, insisted that she needed to lay down on the grass with him, crossed his arms behind his head and said nothing more. For the next twenty minutes.

Rapunzel was fidgeting after ten.

"I-"

"Nuh-hu," Lance interrupted immediately, "no talking, only relaxing."

Ten more minutes went by. Rapunzel thought she got a taste of infinity.

"Thank you Lance," she blurted out as she sat up, "I think I'm infinitely more relaxed now-"

"You're not," he frowned, looking a lot more serious suddenly. "Listen Rapunzel, I don't know what's bothering you, but a lot of people are worried about you. And by that, I mean that Eugene hasn't stopped talking my ear off about your sleeping schedule, but is clearly not chill enough to make you more chill so that's why I, the greatest napper in all Corona, was summoned," he announced dramatically, before closing his eyes. "So now, relax away."

Rapunzel bit her lips and sighed, before plopping back down. Rationally, she knew that she should get more sleep, but it wasn't that easy. Her brain just wouldn't shut off at times. Even now, she was watching the clouds, or the birds, or anything and everything that was moving and that could hold her interest. She had never liked being idle and now that she knew exactly just how much the world had to offer, she hated it even more.

Lance was more astute that she gave him credit for, though, because instead of staying silent again, he started narrating one of his old adventures with Eugene. Though he had a flair of the dramatics, the way he told his story was more laid back than Eugene's and, without her notice, Rapunzel had stayed forty minutes lying still in the grass, eyes closed, listening to his voice.

Huh. Maybe there was something to this relaxing stuff after all. She only wished it was as easy at nights, and Lance suggested jokingly-but-maybe-not-so-much that she knew another good storyteller who would be more than happy to sleep in the same bed as her.

"And don't forget Princess, being able to relax will help you stay calm and collected in face of danger, like yours truly always is," he proclaimed, putting his hand on his heart.

"Ah, thank you Lance, but there's a spider on your shirt."

The ungodly screech that escaped his mouth could hardly be called cool and collected, but Rapunzel simply put the spider to safety before patting Lance on the knee - his words had helped her today. He shot her a brilliant smile in return.

After all, Lance was right, there was someone who was capable of keeping most of her nightmares away.

"I should probably go back to my room," Eugene whispered into Rapunzel's hair when the night had long since fallen over Corona.

She mumbled a protest and snuggled up closer to him, and he chuckled, obviously as tired as she was. She had asked him for more Flynn Rider stories, that he had been more than happy to provide, but now she was nice and warm and comfy, and she really didn't want him to move. Going by the way he hugged her closer to him, he really didn't want to leave either.

"At least, I'll make sure you stay in bed tomorrow morning," he added. "You really don't need to get up at six."

But the sky I'll miss tomorrow morning will never be the same again, she wanted to say, when Lance's voice made a comeback in her head. She needed to relax. She couldn't possibly see all the nuances the sky would offer in her lifetime, anyway. So she let herself be lulled to sleep by Eugene's soothing voice, feeling the tension in her body unwind like she hadn't allowed herself in a long time.

No nightmare came to bother her that night.

And when she woke up next morning, way later than her usual schedule, she found herself still enveloped in Eugene's embrace, while he was sleeping deeply. Moreover, she realised that she might have missed this morning's sky new shades, but she had her own private show. Because, if she hadn't been right there, right now, she wouldn't have seen the sunlight making Eugene's hair shine, wouldn't have noticed how softly his eyelashes touched his skin, wouldn't have felt his warmth all around her as he breathed deeply, unperturbed. She wouldn't have seen his nose scrunch up as he felt her move, wouldn't have noticed the subtle tensing of his muscles as he tried to keep her with him, wouldn't- She would have missed a lot of things.

So right here, right now, her heart so full she felt it might just burst, Rapunzel decided that being idle, relaxing, sleeping - it all wasn't so bad, after all. She only needed to do it with the right people.

#tangled #Rapunzel #Lance Strongbow #Eugene Fitzherbert #tangled the series

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nightwingshero · 3 years

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32 - 43!

Thank you for asking, hun!

32. Do you have any characters who are twins?

I do! Wren’s youngest children are twins: Braxton and Liliana. I was going to make Whitney’s kids twins as well, but I’m not sure about that just yet. But those are the only twins I really have so far.

33. Does your character like math? How good are they at it?

Wren hates math and is terrible at it. It’s one of the subjects she could never get a grasp on, to be honest. I really don’t think she ever tried to. Wren isn’t much of a logical thinker, she’s more creative. If she can avoid math, she will.

Blair, on the other hand, loves math and is excellent at it. As an astrophysicist, she needs to be. She’s more of a logical thinker, even though she is emotional. She’ll go on for hours with equations and trying to solve formulas because she finds it all so fascinating and fun, like a puzzle. Science was definitely in the stars for her.

34. Do any of your characters collect sea-shells or wear shell jewelry?

That would definitely be Mel. Moving to Jamaica gave her that opportunity, of course, and she’s a huge surfer, so she’s always on the beach or in the water. She fell into the habit of sending Whitney and Ivy shells here and there, just as a check in to let them know she was still alive and not dying somewhere, considering how impulsive she is. Now, the jewelry? Not so much her thing.

35. Naptime, yes or no?

Wren is a napper! She will fill up on cheesecake or something, and curl up and pass out while watching the Twilight Zone. It’s considered a perfect day if she can get a nap in, a day well spent. Wren can be a bit lazy.

Blair...isn’t much of a napper. Not really. The only time you’ll see that is if she crashes from lack of sleep and tons of caffeine or sugar leaving her system--which happens more often than she cares to admit. There are lectures from Martin and Ray for it, because they insist she needs to take care of herself, but will she ever really learn? Doubtful.

36. Would your character prefer to sit around and chill or be up and moving and doing something?

I feel like this touched a bit before, but Wren, Jane, and Mel would rather chill. Whitney, Randy, and Rowan would rather be doing something, because they can’t sit still. There’s always something for them to do, something that they’ve been meaning to get done, or they’re just bored out of their minds.

Blair is a toss up. She loves her lazy days, truly, but she also loves to be working. Now, once she becomes a vigilante and works with Oliver and Barry (...then later the Legends), she’s almost desperate for a day to herself--which is spent debating on whether to work on work or to be lazy about it. Most of the time, it’s a pretty even split between the two.

37. Did any of your characters have a fever they almost died from as a child?

Blair did. There was this one year where she got terribly sick, and her parents were pretty frantic about it. She was about 2 years old when it happened, so she vaguely remembers it, but they had her in the hospital for a while. Her mother took a sabbatical from work, which left her father the only one with a job there for a moment, but they eventually bounced back once Blair recovered.

38. Does your character worry about breaking the rules and getting in trouble?

Wren...is on the fence on that. She’s definitely a “grey area” kind of person and she’s gotten in trouble multiple times (while Whitney loses her mind at the thought). She tends to bend the rules or ignore the ones she doesn’t believe in. It’s gotten her into some predicaments but she usually finds her way out of it.

Blair is worried about it enough that she’ll mention if something is illegal or if it’s breaking rules. Now, she’s not as bad as Ray (who...is just a cinnamon roll) and she’ll find it amusing when he’s against something when its truly something small. Of course, being a vigilante is illegal, so there’s some wiggle room for her.

39. Do any of your characters have the responsibilities of an adult despite being a child, or did they when they were?

Wren, unfortunately, did. She pretty much had to take care of herself after her mom died because her father just...neglected her purposefully. Learning how to look after yourself at such a young age can be...an experience, and Wren grew up rather quickly. She never truly had a childhood due to that, but she made up for that during her early years in college.

40. If a loved one died, how long would they stay in mourning?

Wren takes that hard. It’s hard for her to forget and she handles it so poorly. Avoiding her emotions, locking them away, and letting it come out in anger is usually her go-to. She never truly deals with it or faces it, so it lasts way longer than it really should. It’s an open wound that sometimes festers and never heals.

Blair typically works through it the best she can and in a healthy way...when she’s not losing control of her powers. She might have a hard time bouncing back a bit because she also takes it pretty hard, and her powers sometimes just...make it harder. But she talks about it, she doesn’t avoid it, and she mourns properly. Her grieving process doesn’t last as long as others.

41. Do other people around your character dictate their life or do they get to choose for themselves?

Wren is...70/30 on that. Once she joins John and Eden’s Gate, the tables turn. She’s someone that’s trying to “be free”, but she ends up finding herself in a gilded cage. Up to that point, she lives her life how she wants to, she doesn’t allow other people dictate that. Whitney is the complete opposite. It’s why she ended up being married to Joseph in the first place. Her life is dictated by Nancy and Joseph.

Blair does her own thing and has always had support from her parents and friends to do so. You can’t tell her how to live her life, that’s a non-starter with her. She’s way too strong-willed and passionate to allow that to happen. She has her goals and has a clear vision on what she wants in life, good luck getting in the way of that.

42. Did/do any of your characters have an arranged marriage?

Oh, no. Not at all. Now, Kinsley almost got set up with an arranged marriage, but that’s more due to Indian culture than anything else. If there was one, I would say that Whitney’s marriage to Joseph is borderline. Mostly because that was more of a manipulation, and it was one of those things where she thought it was what she wanted and it’s what she chose...which isn’t the case, necessarily. I guess that just depends on how you view it.

43. Do you have any widows/widower characters?

Well, Wren and Whitney both lose their husbands in New Dawn, so I have two that become widows. John dies because Ethan executes him (and Mel) for treason against New Eden (sneaking Liliana and Braxton out so they wouldn’t be killed by their murderous cousin), leaving Wren without a husband (Quinn may or may not swoop in later...). Whitney...kills her husband. Listen, after all the things that Joseph Seed has done (to her, her loved ones, and to the people of Hope County), he very much deserves it. Whitney stabs him using one of Wren’s knives. Long live the queen, you know?

#oc: blair chambers #oc: whitney seed #oc: wren blake #oc: melanie young #my ocs #asks #far cry 5 #arrowverse

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theropoda · 3 years

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3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29: Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

#asks #stommevrouw #THANK U EVIE THIS WAS SO FUNNNNNNN #WOOF haha this made me tired #im probably hitting the bed now! thank u!!

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monstersinthecosmos · 6 years

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if you don't mind, what are your most esoteric armand headcanons? your armand is one of my favs, since my own armand headcanons are Not really in alignment with most fandom? which pretty much seem to be 'sad feelings twink' vs my own thoughts of 'sad feelings twink will never be a slave again and will gut you if necessary'. like, its not Super different but i feel like people sort of stop before they make it all the way to Why armand is Like That?

I’ve been mulling over this for a few days and trying to come up with a proper response for you because I really enjoy the fuck out of this question and sentiment in general, but to be honest I don’t think my headcanons about Armand are all that remarkable.

This is going to sound so fucking pretentious but to me, my approach to Armand comes from a more instinctual place and I’m not sure I can necessarily quantify my feelings in the form of headcanons. What’s more relevant to me is that I tend to put him in scenarios and wonder how he would react.

IT REMINDS ME OF THAT BIT IN QOTD WHEN HE’S LIKE I DONT FUCKIN KNOW DANIEL!!!!

“What was it like in Paris? Ask me if it rained on the night of Saturday, June 5, 1793. Perhaps I could tell you that.”

But genuinely I don’t think my headcanons about him are necessarily esoteric or even special, I just think they’re more to the point that I like to have him say and do things that a lot of people are afraid to. I mean, granted? There’s not a lot of fic in this fandom to judge, so it’s hard to know. But I also say this based on, like you said, sad feelings twink fanon that we see floating around.

Fandom these days can be very hostile to people like me, who want to explore fucked up shit and revel in terrible characters. Between people who can’t cope with the idea that their fav is problematic or people who are afraid to express themselves cause they don’t want to get attacked or push any buttons. You tend to see these polar opposites of like “THIS CHARACTER IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU’RE AN APOLOGIST IF YOU LIKE THEM” and then you also see people sort of woobifying their favs to feel better about it.

And that just.. isn’t me. Fuck are not given in these parts.

SO that said. I wouldn’t say I have “esoteric” headcanons as much as I love to shine a light on what a twisted sick fuck he is lol. I also really enjoy the dynamic between him and Daniel where it’s my personal belief that Daniel is a complete danger slut with a humiliation kink so being pushed and harassed and humiliated constantly totally gets him off, and I enjoy the ambiguity of whether or not Armand respects his boundaries. Still, here are a few I did come up with:

He’s a comfort eater and chronic napper. He gets especially vicious and violent with his victims when he’s in a comfort snack mood and doesn’t feel bad about it. He’s very much a “pull the wings off flies” kinda dude and plays with his food.

His ideas about consent are shaky at best. He’s an “act first, apologize later” type, and probably forgets to apologize. I think he also tends to “apologize” in weird ways, using symbolic gestures that he assumes other people can read and they probably can’t.

He tends to tell himself (and Daniel) that if Daniel is ever ACTUALLY really uncomfortable he’ll feel it psychically and know to back off, but he’s very complacent with the idea that Daniel barely knows wtf he wants anyway and is usually too much of a mess to parse his own feelings, so even taking Daniel sincerely at face value can never truly be trusted. This is sort of the dom/sub two-way street in which a dom has to trust that their sub will safeword if they need to, and Daniel is hard to trust on that front. Armand should know better.

He knew how reckless he was being with Daniel.

None of this is to say that he doesn’t CARE about Daniel or other people, he just doesn’t always have an appropriate sense of the type of damage anyone can handle.

Because I do think he does care deeply and love people and he’s shown himself to be very generous with people he respects. Still, of all the characters in VC I think he’s arguably been through the worst that life has to offer, and I think part of him doesn’t understand what a normal range is for human emotional pain.

He really loves to do drugs with Daniel in the form of drinking them through his blood. I think all vampires have experienced this to an extent, especially because so many of them have a penchant for killing drug dealers and etc, but I think that there’s an intent that can go into recreational drug use, moreso than you can experience as a regular human. Like, amirite that we all know that feeling where the mood and attitude you bring into your drug trip can kinda stay with you? I like to think that Armand has some semblance of control of the parts of his brain that activate under drugs so when he’s in the mood to enjoy them recreationally he can sort of let go and let it happen. This is, of course, at Daniel’s expense, and comes back to his ideas about consent, about being reckless with Daniel’s health, and about treating Daniel like his toy.

And although he can be reckless and endanger Daniel, he’s fiercely protective of him. (Or any of his pets.) Meaning that it’s one thing if ARMAND pushes Daniel or frightens him, if someone else does it he’s not gonna be happy. And Armand is fucking dangerous. He might be the most dangerous. He can be a complete animal. It’s something he adopted to get through the coven years and it’s never gone completely away. I might call this side of him “feral”.

I don’t see this part of him as a thing that snaps, though. I think he’s completely in control of it. Maybe he even enjoys it.

He doesn’t regret his relationship with Marius and doesn’t have a problem with the way he repeats a lot of those behaviors with Daniel. I don’t think the patterns are subconscious.

Despite all of this he is a good person and deserves love.

^ Because, to that last point? Sad feelings twink really is only half the equation. People tend to see Armand as one or the other, there’s like a cinnamon roll/complete sociopath monster binary at play here and I’m here to say that one can be both.

Listen, he’s trying.

Anyway I was listening to my Armand playlist while I was writing these out and now I’m emotional LMAO

youtube

#anyway i find posts like this difficult to write #it's more that i bake all these ideas into fics #i think most of these things have popped up in my fics already LOL #deep ass thoughts about vampires #armand #daniel molloy #armand/daniel #vampire chronicles #the queen of the damned #anne rice #oh my an anon!

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wicthdragon · 6 years

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The War Goes On

I do not know where to begin I really do not but I must start somewhere so here goes, I am survival of rape and kidnapping but along that I am a survival of trauma I survived things that could make people’s head spin yet I know that others been threw worse then me and that they do handle things better then me this is true and I never forget that how ever, I can not keep Lessen my pain just to make people feel better because in the end while there are people that deal with things better then I people that had it worse then me that cope with things better dose not minimize my pain.

So let me tell you my story, In 1985 I was orally raped by a so called family member people for years have tried to protect him chose him over me etc act like I do not know WHAT I AM SPEAKING ABOUT ETC. I am a lot of things and not all of them very good OK so ? but I do not lie i do not make up stories and i know when shit happened thank you very much and I resent how some one can say such things to me.

How ever sadly I get why I really go I get we need to question people need to make sure the victim is telling the truth a child is not chocked etc i get that i get all that and one should question fine I agree. but do not demean the victim either while doing so.

Granted I may be over sensitive in general i am fine i get it but when nit wits and dumb bitches act like I do not know what i am saying that really burns me up more then most As people asking to be sure . just dose.

Moving on I have been seeking demanding justice for almost over 30 years and to no avail no one did any thing to help me not till the end and even then it was nothing, it makes me sick everyone just removed the perv from the home i was at and just out him in another one with kids in it my or around the same age. it’s sick how can cps think that's OK how can our justice system do such a thing ? it is maddening to me.

It has been so paining i mean well meaning people tied to make me forget tried to make me not see him for the perv he is for there own reasons not saying for all bad reasons but it still was wrong . I have long since forgive them for that but i will never forget ,

I been seeking justice for decades and now I can get it I just found out from a friend along with a lawyer that I can still press charges there is no more saute of limitations any more. So very soon if i can get more info I am going to go to the cops and press charges and finally seek justice, Now I get i may lose i may not really get it OK fine but i got to try and yes i am doing it out or revenge as well so what . it no longer matters still did it he got away with it and its wrong period.

I will not be shamed i will not be guided i will not let other people who can not handle what was done to me to sway me any more.

That is over now

So this is is along road my war is still going on but I will win either way. Maybe I am not saying or explaining my self right maybe I am not the most elegant or have the most dignified way of saying this but here it is the sick fuck needs to pay for his crime's against me. the fact that people can not grasps why i hate him why i want him dead why i been spending my life making him finding ways to make him pay why i did not have a voice why it ruined parts of my life , why some dumb ass whores think he made me gay cunt no one made me gay what he did to me affected me oh yes affected my choices yes , but being gay straight bi trans what ever who what ya born with, yes nurture Can i am sure help effect the biological components to making some one gay but no one i do not think picks being straight gay bi or what ever. Then again who said most of my family was smart ? But I Digress this is what I learned people can not handle sexual abuse i get that and maybe that's why my mom in some not all but some respects was in denial or could handle it i felt at least once she blamed me for it, am i angry about all that? no I'm hurt I'm sadden but no not angry because she is a great mother in general outside of it she as great, hell i did not always know that she was my mother but in the end I was am happy to find out so again not all bad. but as people we are not always good sometimes me included handle shit wrong. we do so i get it now as a adult but am still hurt sometimes by her ways of handling it hell yes . But in fairness we did long since worked that out, and all that is another story to tell, that’s not this story not yet .

So again my issue is not with my mom at this point how ever it’s part of it, because people seem to want to swipe this under the rug hey i get it i never wanted it to define my life either and while it dose not have to define my whole life it dose define sadly some of it and I need to accept it and use it to my advantage.

Now my father on the other hand was a horrible person and parent most of the time how ever the one thing he was great at he wanted to kill his grand son for me. so I just wish people let him.

I think it would have helped me it would not take my pain away but it would have eased it, I Feel , But well he didn’t and i still have the pain the whole that nothing can fill.

How ever me having a voice me speaking out telling my story and soon pressing these charges may help I feel now is the right time I think thanks to the me to movement maybe this prison can end and i can be let out after 3o years,

I do hope so. i did not want to jump on the ban wagon in the beginning but now I feel i do not have a choice i am maybe by default part of me to,

Because it happened to me it happened to lots of people to many people.

How ever I go back to this I do not want to make it my whole life about it to define me but I need to speak out so it can be part of my past .

Now that On to Cps They fucked me up not once but twice and I made some powerful claims over the years and as of late and I feel since I am going forward really going forward with my story I need to explain my self really do it this time as hard as it is and it is I need to so all of you reading this get why I am a kidnapped survivor You need to I need to explain in detail.

Cps removed the perv from the home where i lived with my niece and what he did to us , I will not go in to her story because while we do not get along that is still her story and i will only speak from my experiences.

In that home that sick fuck tied us up on the our beds for hours with black rope i do not remember for how long but the girl did cut me lose how she got out who the fuck knows,

t then locking me in a closet and shoving or poking me with coat hangers, i mean that one may seem not as bad but its still sick as fuck i am like what ? who dose this mess.? then the main event the oral shit luckily that detail is fading as i got older this sick fuck touched me and gods knows what else yet he as never under the jail are you kidding me. this is not right how ever sadly this seems all to common which makes it worse,

Thank the Gods as far as i knew that only happened once. granted once to often. oh and the fuck locked me out that nasty house and i punched a window to get in the house,

I mean again that may seem tame by compression but still no one did shit they let this shit go on are you kidding me. but yet as angry as i am as pissed as I am as annoyed as i am as hurried as i am about it and i am . i get why some didn't they may not know what to say or do or how to go about or what ever I get it. but its foal as fuck. people kept me quit for to long and i will speak out and speak up on this nasty as shit. Now some how in that time frame i went home with my parents and him and the rest of them fuckers stayed there and some how got removed so some one called some time and got his punk ass removed or how ever it happened but far as i know he got removed and just went to his sisters house as i said before who had kids around my age really cps really. oh and not that long ago i was told they do not work on pressing charges are you kidding me ? really OK fuck ya all.

No let me also go on to say more on cps since I said I would explain in detail So Basically cps did a piss poor job of helping us my niece and my self or any kids most likely in that time frame , But OK so good time putting a Pedophile with more kids. so that's the first time they fucked me up by not helping me not really nor even working with law enforcement to press changes on the perv I see how it is,

Now lets move to 1996 hon they reared there ugly heads back in to my life when my mom lets just say had issues and my father was useless sick his damn self they came trying to make there fucking jobs easy as fuck put me with family I say family in a very lose sense of the word never investigated any of them one all of them had issues for example marring grown as men when they were barely in there teens getting pregnant just to get away from there trash ass father , and the one they did stick me with was a year or so before getting her ass beat by her second husband yeah good job not investigating none of them and there's more yet get this she is the same one who had my rapist in her home with her at time two kids right about the same time he was diddling me yeah that seems to come full circle,

Oh there's i even hear as of late that my nephew told me his brother told him if its true that I should be place with any of them there only out for money and no good or how ever he said.

AGAIN who knows if that happen but if it did that is interesting and there is a little more when i was in the same room with David Straton and the perv that did what he did i was being re-traumatizing and no one did shit no one helped me i was crying carrying the fuck on oh yes no shame in saying it either and basically crickets no one to care about me not even that kid napper and yes I call him a kidnapper because in the end none of that got him to see hey maybe i should not out this kid with these fucks that talked to some one who did this to him, etc he clearly has issues nope all this ass hole was rude to me mean and stole me from my home . not to mention it all happened under a mouth Yeah like I was so in danger until you showed up. That was when you put me in danger. It seems still something not right I do wonder if money was involved I can not prove it but at the least just normal cps corruption.

Now you may ask as you should ask as we all should ask how did he kid nap you ? he never protected me none of them did from my family or the rapist twice in a row he never did his job he took me from my home put me in danger while i was not in physical danger i was in mental and emotional torment they talked to him threw him in my face no one helped me press charges get justice that and hat if the one that talked to the pervs husband as beating her again and i got in danger how can you not investigate people. so yes I was in danger because all of them all they wanted was to use me and you put me in harms way going all because you did not want to do your job. Now I called the fucks to finally explain all this and they still did not care they said it was not there job to investigate any one it was not any ones job to do any of that we had to put you some where and we always try to place children with families first which between you and me is bull shit, but that said i am like are you kidding me how the fuck can you not investigate people all of that was bull shit its wrong and its cruel and negotiate as fuck they said they were not i know they are, David kidnapped me point blank and he traumatized me and all these people wanted was to use me and you put me in danger and i kept explaining why but sadly after 22 years they do not get the damaged they did they do not how they kidnapped.

I stopped minimizing my self a long time and call it what it is because when i did it seems to give people the right it seems to do the same to me. the bottom line that is exactly how they kidnapped me from my home and its wrong period wrong wrong and more wrong and no one will shame me otherwise. I am a kidnapper survivor.

Now On to some other things Cps have not just fucked my life up not once but twice and they still do not get it they do not get how corrupt as fuck they are or they don’t care well they will soon.

Let me share with you what i learned I have had friends who there lives some kids some as parents fucked up by cps and for no reason and now n the news they still doing this shit taking kids not investigating any one properly kidnapping kids to be frank again i do not say things to be just dramatic if i say it I mean it they still kidnapping kids ruining lives for no reason never investigating or if they do doing a piss poor job and making excuses like they did me not that long ago and it makes me sick. I sadly know to many people who been fucked up by them and i bet if they complain like i do they may get the same fucked up treatment I get, now in fairness one or two cps workers in my life have gave me there compassion but its not its not enough the rest act like I'm wrong , guess what I am not wrong but i was wronged by you people. you kidnapped me point blank period and i am going to seek justice for that and or get my paper work and go after my rapist bring awareness to this for my self and for others . Some seem to judge me because i want revenge I do i sure as fuck do.

I have no shame on it i am sick of people judging me and acting like they know what its like for me when they do not its rude and mean, and frankly i think victim blaming as all hell.

How ever not shocked been dealing with it for years I am just finally using my vice. that said, i will also add while most of my family and i do use that term loosely kinda sorta made up neither one of us will forget what the other did , and that's fine while i stand by all i said tonight i still need to add we kinda made up but its what it is , I feel If I am going to tell it I will tell it.

Before I end this note this story of pain I can not stop the war until something changes i can not will not. I vow to keep fighting until my day is hear thank you for reading this,

Truly yours WicthDragon.

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luciddeparture · 3 years

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Is sleep for the weak?

If you had spoken to me a few years ago about sleep, I probably would have told you that sleep was for the weak. In reality that was just an excuse. I couldn’t sleep and even if I wanted to I couldn’t. When I did it would often lead to me waking up from sleep paralysis. Throughout high school my average night of sleep would last around 5-6 hours. That’s when I could sleep. When I couldn’t, it would be far worse, leading to me having pretty severe concentration issues and regular naps. To maintain energy levels at school and work I pursued a healthy diet of constant caffeine followed by an excessive amount of sugar. When the weekends came around, I would regularly go out till ungodly hours of the morning, often leaving myself with the equivalent of jet lag. I used to think it strange that people went to sleep before 12am as I felt like this was when my own brain finally started to wake up.

Flash forward to where we are now and sleep is something which I prioritise. I aim to have no less than eight hours a night (albeit with a few exceptions). Such a dramatic shift in my priorities came in part to being sick of constantly feeling like I didn’t have enough energy to do the things I love e.g. to write. Being constantly lethargic comes at a cost. I know that most people don’t have these sorts of problems with sleep, which is fantastic for you! Although infuriating at the time, having these issues caused me to try and work out some solutions to help improve my sleep. I think that some of the points which I came across may help the everyday reader. It is only now that I can appreciate in hindsight that neglecting sleep killed my creativity and learning ability.

Whilst researching my own sleep, I came across a book called Why We Sleep written by Matthew Walker. A book which Bill Gates has recommended stating - “It took me a little longer than usual to finish Why We Sleep—ironically, because I kept following Walker’s advice to put down the book I was reading a bit earlier than I was used to, so I could get a better night’s sleep.”

Matthew Walker is an English scientist and professor of neuroscience and psychology at the University of California. He is one of the most high-profile public intellectuals focused on the subject of sleep. Who better to accept advice on sleep from than him?

We still know surprisingly little about why we sleep. Walker has been studying for 20 something years, publishing over 100 scientific studies. He is a New York Times best selling author. He states that 1 in 3 people are not getting enough sleep as the average adult requires 7-9 hours a day.

This is because when we sleep there are two different sorts of sleep which we switch between over the course of the night. Too little of either can negatively impact us. The two sorts of sleep are NREM (Non Rapid Eye Movement) sleep and REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep.

In NREM sleep, our respiration and heart rate slows down, our body temperature drops and our brain waves slow down - for reasons that we don’t yet know. The purpose of NREM Sleep appears to be to consolidate information learnt, and transfer it throughout the brain into long term storage. This captures recent memories making you far less likely to forget them. It also improves our immune system. In later stages of NREM sleep there is a cacophony of waves before you switch into REM sleep.

In REM sleep brain waves are much more rapid than NREM sleep. Parts of your brain in REM sleep are actually up to 30% more active than when you are awake! It appears that REM sleep acts as a free overnight therapy session for our brains in the form of dreams. It helps us processes the information taken in throughout the day by comparing, testing and connecting recent memories.

Now that you know a bit about sleep, I though for the rest of this article I could share with you the points which I found to be most interesting and useful with the aim of boosting your knowledge and sharing what has worked for myself - and what I still find to be difficult.

The points are as follows:

Regular bed time and wake up time: Having a regular bedtime, ideally with a bedtime routine e.g. read, drink tea, meditate, helps you be able to fall asleep quickly when it is finally bedtime. Waking up at the same time everyday helps to not disturb the cycles, as your brain switches between REM and NREM sleep. Your brain also creates melatonin - the chemical which helps you sleep on a 24 hour schedule, by regulating what times you do certain tasks.

No coffee: As we all know caffeine keeps you awake. What most of us don’t know is that caffeine has a half life which can last five to seven hours! This means if you have your cup of coffee around 7:30pm, by 1:30am you may still have 50% of the caffeine in your system preventing proper sleep.

Reduce blue light before sleep: No phones. No screens. Ironically you might be reading this article on your mobile phone. The problem with having such addictive little machines at our fingertips is often we will end up scrolling, reading or watching before sleep. It is important for us all to prioritise reducing blue light for an hour prior to getting into bed.

Chill: When your body temperature drops, you have a better sleep. An easy way to do this is by having a warm shower before sleep. Once you get out of the shower your body temperature drops, leading to… you guessed it: better sleep!

Nap time: Nappers out there, you are in luck! Having a short 20 minute nap some time before 3pm, can actually boost your creativity. Studies have been done in places like Italy where they regularly have “Siesta’s” - a daytime nap after lunch.

A lethal experiment: 1.6 billion people across 70 countries twice a year participate in a simple test to see what the devastating effects can be when losing only an hour of sleep. Have you worked out what it is? Daylight Savings. When we lose an hour, there is a 24% increase in heart attacks. When we gain an hour we see a 21% reduction in heart attacks. We also see a reduction in car accidents and suicide. That’s only one hour less sleep!

Alcohol: Many individuals believe that alcohol can be used as a night cap. Ironically like most sleeping pills, alcohol actually sedates the prefrontal cortex. Sedation is not sleep and prevents REM sleep. Which as we have previously discussed is crucial to process what we have learnt throughout the day.

But what about Saturday night drinks? Here I have included a direct story from the book.

“Framed practically, let’s say that you are a student cramming for an exam on Monday. Diligently, you study all of the previous Wednesday. Your friends beckon you to come out that night for drinks, but you know how important sleep is, so you decline. On Thursday, friends again ask you to grab a few drinks in the evening, but to be safe, you turn them down and sleep soundly a second night. Finally, Friday rolls around—now three nights after your learning session—and everyone is heading out for a party and drinks. Surely, after being so dedicated to slumber across the first two nights after learning, you can now cut loose, knowing those memories have been safely secured and fully processed within your memory banks. Sadly, not so. Even now, alcohol consumption will wash away much of that which you learned and can abstract by blocking your REM sleep.

How long is it before those new memories are finally safe? We actually do not yet know, though we have studies under way that span many weeks. What we do know is that sleep has not finished tending to those newly planted memories by night 3. ”

- Excerpt From: Matthew Walker. “Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams.”

Further Reading

If you liked this article I recommend reading the entire book, as it’s full of fantastic snippets of information. Changing my sleep has had such a huge impact on my memory, concentration and creativity and I truly hope that reading this encourages you to continue to prioritise it.

If you want to read the book, you can access it here:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2XSzFZ5

Audible: https://adbl.co/3ioUa9j

Or you can even undertake Matthew Walkers new Masterclass “The Science of Better Sleep”: https://bit.ly/3oZ9Q5t

Unfortunately I’m not sponsored by any of these links, I’m just trying to help!

#sleep #nap #bedtime #rem #nrem #matthewwalker #why we sleep

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easilydistractedandamused · 7 years

Text

Slang

@achilles-ikea because after that discussion about Billy picking up slang from the ghosts, I looked into Victorian Slang and it is beautiful, so this is just a short little thing of when Billy used Victorian Slang and people were confused.

However, I'll give you all a fair warning. I have no idea if I'm even using the slang right. It's also not in any particular order either. I might even add to more snippets to it later but I'm not sure right now

1. Rain Napper (an umbrella)

"Something wrong?" Scott asked walking over to him at the lip of the building, just out of reach of the rain pouring outside.

"I don't have a Rain Napper, so I'll be walking home in this," Billy said in apprehension, bouncing on his feet a little and when his words registered with his friend, he got an odd look.

"You don't have a what?" he asked confused.

"A Rain Napper," he repeated and the look of confusion on his face increased. "An umbrella," he clarified miming the item out to Scott.

"I could lend you mine, but you can't call it a Rain Napper," he said. "Where did you even hear that?" he asked.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully, no idea where the words have even come from, but aware they were a whisper in the back of his mind since he woke up that morning. He had moments like that a lot lately

2. Cop a mouse (get a black eye)

+Chuckaboo (close friend)

"What happened to you?" Shazam asked with a hint of concern seeing the bruising around his eye.

"Copped a mouse," Billy said shrugging and though the necromancer raised a brow at this he didn't say it but remembering his Chuckaboo...remembering how confused Scott would get whenever he used these words, even calling him his Chuckaboo had confused him.

"You know, I got a..." Billy started off nervously but Shazam merely raised a hand to stop him an amused quirk to his lips.

"You do not have to explain yourself to me, Billy. I'm aware of what it means," he said and he felt his shoulders relax as the rush of relief he felt at his words. "I'll admit I was surprised to hear you say it," he admitted.

"It sounds better," Billy said unashamed, glad to have someone around he didn't have to explain himself to.

3. Damfino (damned if I know)

"Anyone see where he went?" Kid Flash asked as he returned, kicking up some dirt from his sudden stop.

"Damfino," Billy said with a shrug but his tone conveyed enough for them, even if they had no idea what that word meant but Billy was a weird kid and they didn't have time to question him right now as Artemis spotted their target.

4. Don't sell me a dog (don't lie to me)

"Billy, we were going to come back for you," Robin said gently.

"Don't sell me a dog!" Billy said hotly and they all paused.

"Okay, I'm not...trying to...sell you a dog?" Robin said confused and a glance at the others proved they were just as confused.

"You weren't going to come back. I get it, I'm a rookie. I...I'm a risk, you can say it to me," Billy said upset. "But don't look me in the eye and lie to me," he said.

"Okay, but what does that have to do with dogs?" Wally asked.

"It means don't lie to me," he said

5. Make a Stuffed bird laugh (absolutely preposterous)

"Kaldur...betrayed us?" M'Gann asked surprised and horrified, a hand up to her mouth as she looked at Robin, Nightwing, with wide eyes

"Make a stuffed bird laugh," Billy said shocked.

"What?" Wally asked confused but his gaze wasn't on Dick, but on Billy so he knew the question was meant for him causing him to clear his throat.

"It, uh, it means absolutely preposterous," he said embarrassed.

"Accurate," Wally said. "Because it is absolutely preposterous! Kaldur wouldn't betray us!" he said turning on Nightwing.

6. Mad as hops (Excitable).

"Wow, M'Gann sure is Mad as hops about this dance," Billy commented as he picked up a fashion article featuring dresses for her to wear.

"She's...not angry?" Wally said unsure. It was the best approach with Billy's strange way of talking actually.

"It means excitable," he clarified.

"It's her first human dance," Wally said.

"What about that Halloween party you wouldn't let me go to?" Billy asked leaning forward as he looked at the speedster.

"Still, uh, still upset about that huh?" he said shifting on his feet and glancing away. They really hated hurting his feelings like that, and he almost went trick-or-treating, had started actually, before running into Artemis and Zatanna and joining them.

After helping them beat harm, they all went trick-or-treating around the city as he explained why Secret could only be seen by them this night instead of any other. So far, they were the only ones he was sharing his candy with

7. Take the Egg (to win)

+Shoot into the brown (to fail)

"I guess this mean we...take the egg, Savage," Billy said with a smirk as he stood on an outcropping, spirits surrounding him as he stood tall. The team was used to hearing stuff like this from Billy by now and didn't even glance at him at this but the others certainly looked confused, even Lex Luthor and that was a look they would probably cherish for the rest of their lives.

"No, you'll shoot into the brown," he said firmly before making his escape.

And of course, let's not forget my personal favorite and the situation you set up yourself...

Not up to Dick (not well)

Billy gave a yelp as he dodged the attack. Small goons, he could handle, it wasn't that different from handling thugs on the street with he had no choice but to get violent but a large creature with a long tail and claws...?

'Billy, we just finished up on our end. How are you handling things?' M'Gann asked through the mental link.

"Not up to dick," he said dodging the tail and unknown to him, Robin had frozen mid attack at this, shocked at hearing his name.

'Wait, what?" he asked and a quick glance at Wally, who seemed to be in the same way of confusion confirmed he had heard right.

"It means...' he said the tail breaking the ground. 'not well' he said falling on his back, claws sweeping over where his head had been at. 'not well at all,' he said

'Say that next time, okay?' Kid Flash said as he grabbed him, taking him out of the danger zone as Artemis used a foam arrow to cover the creature and stop it in it's track. 'You really need to work on this whole...thing you've got going on,' he said with a concerned frown because in the time he took to explain he could've been serious hurt.

"I can't help it!" Billy protested out loud. "Whenever I get upset or stressed it...it just comes out more," he said.

Bonus: poked up (embarrassed)

"You stopped the attack on that boy," Batman said.

"Oh God, I'm so poked up," Billy said, unable to help himself as he tossed a look up at the sky as if asking for the earth to swallow him up right now and the Justice League gave him odd looks at that.

"Poked...up?" Superman asked confused, raising a brow.

"This is all just a misunderstanding," he tried to explain.

"You weren't the one to stop that attack?" Wonder Woman asked.

"Well, I mean, yes, I did," he said trying to explain the situation to them.

"Then what is there to misunderstand? You have powers and want to do good," she said.

"I'm a Necromancer," he said before she could continue, making her pause to look at him. "Look, I don't know what you think I am, but I just...I just talk to ghosts. That's not really a superpower," he said earnestly. "The thing that happened earlier...I was asking a ghost for advice on how to handle a bully, the same person that was being attacked earlier, and he didn't react well to the news. I just...I just talked him down, miss," he said. "I'm really nothing special," he said looking at Wonder Woman.

"I thought necromancers were creepy old guys who brought the dead back to life?" Flash questioned.

"I'm an apprentice Necromancer," he clarified.

"I'm still confused on the whole, poked up thing," Superman said.

"I picked up a couple of things from the ghosts. It's slang for embarrassed, which I still am, by the way," he said with a forced smile

#billy batson #using slang no one knows anymore and confusing a lot of people #vandal savage #is not confused and will use the slang back at him #wally west #does not bother to hide his confusion #m'gann m'orzz #just gets a rough schematic from his thoughts about how it works #and shares it with #conner kent #richard grayson #looks a lot of these phrases up to prevent confusion #he doesn't like not knowing things #justice league #is also confused by half of what Billy says #miss martian #shares her finding with her uncle so he's less confused when faced with it #Superboy #does not share any of his findings with his dad #once Clark can look him in the eyes he'll help him understand what Billy is saying #but until then too bad #kid flash #is always confused so he's not much help #young justice #necromancer Billy #young justice au #this was fun to write and I might add more to it later #but I don't know old slang and probably used all of these incorrectly

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volcanofireflame150 · 4 years

Text

When Different Paths Cross

About the Characters; Intro; Ch19

Chapter 18

When everything got quiet, the guys were seeing me kneeling down to the Spirit of the Tree of Life. Suho asked, “What is she doing?” “Shh,” said Luhan, “She’s about to do something.” Luhan was right, I was going to do something.

This is what I started to do:

Careless, careless, Shoot Anonymous, Anonymous Heartless, Mindless No one, who care about me It feels like I’m turning away as I have lost it I have to hold it in, though I shut my eyes

Then Baekhyun joined in:

Your Majesty, now answer me, why have people changed? Has there ever been a beautiful time before? They forgot how to love and lost their heart to care. They’re busy living with their backs turned.

Then the others joined in with us:

The mask of anonymity hides, the jealous eye filled with murderous intent, Though they see the end, they’re still hungry, Now Are you satisfied? Why won’t look each other in the eye anymore? Why won’t we communicate? Why won’t we love? We shed tears at the painful reality once again. Please say that we could change things if we want. Tell me, Mama, Mama.

Then Chanyeol, Kai, Sehun, Xiumin, Tao, and Kris only did these parts:

At some point, we have voluntarily trapped ourselves in a small prison,

We base our personalities from a digital world made of 0’s and 1’s,

There’s no life, emotion or warmth,

but just garbage language a desolately rolling meadow.

Then Kyungsoo and the rest of us joined in again:

Loneliness adds as the days go by We have to be humans because we can get only scars, we meet, hold hands, feel, laugh and cry together, we resemble one another and we connect but if you want to turn it back.

Why won’t we look each other in the eye anymore? Why won’t we communicate? Why won’t we love? We shed tears at the painful reality once again Please say that we could change things if we want Tell me, Mama, Mama.

Then Kai, Sehun, Lay, Luhan, Tao, Xiumin, and myself did a dance break. Then Sehun said, “Turn back.” Then Kai did something I never witnessed before.

Kai did this all by himself:

Die, kill, fight, shout, this not a war!

Us: Help us Mama, Mama turn back, Help us realize Mama, Mama rolling back

Clash, hit, takes sides, fight, This is not a game! Help us Mama, Mama turn back.

Careless, Careless (Kai: Mama) Shoot Anonymous, Anonymous (Kai: Mama) Heartless, Mindless (Kai: Mama) No one who care about me (Kai: Mama)

Suho and Baekhyun only sang:

Suho: If only we can all be thankful, for the blessed days that grant us life. Baekhyun: If only we can make new relationships, joyful love rather than broken hearts, if only we can smile together!

Then we finished it off with:

Careless, careless Shoot anonymous, anonymous Heartless, mindless No one who care about me

We finally got it out of our chests because she was smiling of how close we all had become. She said, “Now all we need is the 2 to finally be married.” Chanyeol and I looked at her, Chanyeol said to her, “We are taking things slow.” “I understand, I will wait until the day finally comes true,” she said.

Then she disappeared, I walked around the tree and saw 2 beautiful houses, I called out, “Hey guys come look at this. It’s beautiful.” They did, Baekhyun said, “Whoa, it’s so beautiful.” “I wonder if it was made for us,” said Suho.

The Tree said, “Well of course it is, you goofball.” “Oh, thanks,” he said. I heard her laughing at him, we checked out the houses and it looks like they were filled in with our stuff. The 1st house we went inside in was filled with the guys’ stuff, the 2nd house had my stuff, Chanyeol’s stuff, Kai’s stuff, and Xiumin’s stuff.

I smiled at the thought of being together with the EXO pack, does this mean we were destined to meet? I thought. I looked at Chanyeol and asked, “Do you think that our paths crossed were meant to meet?” “I guess so, I never felt anything else but that ever since I met you,” said Chanyeol.

I hugged him tight, then we walked outside, Suho asked, “What was inside there?” “Mine and Chanyeol’s stuff,” I told him, “Also Kai’s stuff and Xiumin’s stuff.” “Oh sweet,” said Kai. Xiumin said, “It’s like this area is a safe haven for us.”

“Indeed,” said the Tree, “It was here all along waiting for you 13 to live here.” “So, are there any other packs that we should worry about?” asked Suho. The Tree said, “Don’t worry about that now, my sweet child. Be happy that you have been reunited with Lindsey Sterling.”

“Right, sorry,” said Suho. Chanyeol and I were very happy to be together, I always want to know what other packs are out there. Chanyeol sees the curious look on my face, then said, “We can go search for any packs out there if you want.” “Can we bring Xiumin and Kai with us?” I asked.

“Why not? I like the idea,” said Chanyeol. Kai and Xiumin were talking with the others, leaving myself and Chanyeol alone, it feels nice to be alone with this giant puppy. I sat up, listening to the sound of something walking on our direction.

Chanyeol was napping, I got Kai with me to find out on who is here, I almost attacked the creature who happens to be a friendly rabbit looking for carrots for her babies. I couldn’t took the life of a rabbit, I came back out and gave her carrots, she took them back to give to her babies.

Kai said, “That was very nice of you, Lindsey.” “Yeah, I couldn’t took her life away, she has babies,” I told him. Kai said, “I agree. I think we should look for wolf packs, so we can know what to look out for.” “Do you want to do that now?” I asked.

“Sure, I mean, it doesn’t hurt to be curious,” said Kai. Kris came over and asked, “May I tag along?” “Sure,” I said. We headed to the right direction, Kai, Xiumin, Chen, Tao, Kris, Luhan, Lay, and myself were in our wolf forms searching for other packs out there.

“So, how long can we see another pack coming towards us?” Tao asked. Kris answered, “We’ll let them know that they should know about our territory and to never cross it.” “Isn’t that risky though?” Luhan asked.

“Not really, Luhan, all we need to do is hopefully make them to come to an agreement,” said Xiumin. Kris said, “He’s right, if they manage to respect our rules, we will not harm them.” “If they betray us?” Tao asked.

“We will let them off with a warning,” said Chen. Kai came to me and asked, “Are you doing alright?” “I’m just thinking,” I said to him. Kai asked, “About what?” “On what we are going into, this is all happening because of my stupid curiosity,” I said.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be alright, everything will turn out fine, I promise,” said Kai. I said, “I should’ve woken up Chanyeol from his nap. I have a bad feeling about this.” “Chanyeol is a heavy napper,” said Xiumin.

I remained silent while the boys talk things out, then when I told Kai that I had a bad feeling, it was not going away, I was getting scared. Then when I stopped walking and the guys were all now walking a far distance, I looked around, took a step forward, and then down a hole.

*Kai’s POV*

Everything was going fine, when I looked to where Lindsey was suppose to be, that’s when we heard her yelp. We stopped walking, looked back, ran to the hole she fell in, and Kris began to panic.

“Lindsey, are you alright?” he asked, shouting. We heard her faintly say, “Yeah, I’m gonna be fine, the problem is getting out of here, go back to the others and tell them on what happened, maybe they can figure something out.”

“Might as well do so,” said Tao, “We have no choice.” Then we all left to go back to base to tell everyone on what happened.

*Lindsey’s POV*

While they were going to do that, I just stayed in the hole, until I heard a voice asking, “Are you alright?” “Who’s there?” I asked. I looked it was another wolf, he said, “Easy, I’m not here to hurt you, I’m here to help you out of this hole that was mysteriously placed.”

“Oh alright,” I said. When he helped me out, I whined because I landed on my back leg the wrong way, I looked to who helped me was now human and carried me to where he came from.

“Can I have your name, milady?” he asked. I answered, “I’m Lindsey Sterling.” “Donghae,” he said. I said, “Thanks for saving me.” “Don’t mention it,” said Donghae, “Now let me and my pack nurture you back to health.”

“Alright,” I said, “I’m hoping you don’t see me as a threat.” “I saved you from the hole haven’t I?” asked Donghae. I said, “Good point, forget what I said.” “By the way, my pack is called Super Junior, Suju for short,” said Donghae.

#exo wolf au

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imaginetonyandbucky · 7 years

Text

Cats, Dogs, and Neighborhood Betting Pools pt. 2

AO3 Pt 1

“You seem happier,” Steve said, taking a massive bite of his massive sandwich.

Bucky shrugged. “I’ve been doing good.”

“So who’s the lucky fella?”

Bucky gently set his soda on the table. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh really?”

“Definitely.”

“You realize in the last half hour since we got here you’ve mentioned this “Tony” and his cat at least twice every five minutes.”

Bucky slid his prosthetic across the table with a long raspy wail, and grabbed some chips. He proceeded to much on them. Loudly. Steve smirked at him and sucked at the dregs of his drink.

“He’s my neighbor. We run into each other a lot.”

“Yes, and I’m sure you haven’t been enabling his cat’s attempts to force your dog to be her personal slave.”

Bucky didn’t think about the cat door he had installed on the balcony. “Nope,” he replied.

Steve snorted.

“How’s Sam?” Bucky asked, his lips curving into a smirk as Steve blushed.

“The food here is really good, don’t you think?” Steve said, changing the subject. Bucky laughed and kept eating.

Mobile Readers, ‘ware the Read More

“You’re up to something,” Tony said. “I know it. This is all part of some devious plot to undermine my carefully crafted cynicism and loner-ness.”

Natasha purred and rubbed her face against Tony’s legs. He set a can of food on the counter and shuffled through his drawers, looking for a can opener. “I don’t even know how you’re getting out,” he continued. He found a can opener and turned back to the cat food. “The windows and door are all closed - and locked, so it’s not like he’s grabbing you every day in some devious plot to get me to visit.” He set the open can on the floor. Natasha dug in eagerly.

Tony stared at her. “For that matter, how are you getting into his apartment? I’d think he’d be all closed up too, by now.”

Natasha smacked him with her tail as she eagerly dug into her gourmet Salmon Surprise.

“Fine, be that way. See if I buy the fancy food next time I go to the pet store.”

Natasha turned and gave him big, imploring eyes.

“Oh, come on, now,” an amused voice said from the kitchen entryway. “You wouldn’t short a lady, now would you?”

Tony jumped, spinning in the air. “Rhodey!” he groaned. “How many times - don’t do that! I have a heart condition!”

“So you want him to be kidnapping your cat to get your attention?”

“What? Who? What are you talking about?” Tony asked. He grabbed the can opener and turned to rinse it off in the sink.

“The mysterious cat-napper. I should point out that ninety percent of your stories lately are significantly less wild than usual and also contain him.”

“He’s my neighbor, and I can’t figure out how Natasha is getting into his apartment! She’s tormenting his poor dog!”

“The dog should be honored. She only torments people she likes.” Rhodey leaned over and cooed as Natasha wandered over. Licking her lips, she stretched up and purred as he petted her ears.

“Why doesn’t she ever try to eat you? She tries to eat everyone else. Except Pepper, and that’s because they’re both evil masterminds.”

“Everyone else being Tiberius, and Obadiah, and Summer?” Rhodey asked, more knowingly that Tony cared to dwell on.

“And your point?”

Rhodey sighed. “Well, they were all dickbags. And she seems to like your neighbor well enough.”

“They weren’t that bad.”

“Your cat is a better judge of people than you.”

“I am a perfectly good judge of people.”

“Sure, Tony. Are we still on for lunch?”

“It’s Tuesday already? Well, I mean yeah, uh. I’ll get some pants.”

“I don’t know, the Jimmy Neutron boxers make a statement.”

“Jerk.”

“Don’t forget to lock your door!”

Tony groaned.

Bucky got home around three. He jiggled his keys in the lock until the door opened and stepped into his apartment, closing the door behind him. Kicking off his shoes, he immediately headed for the balcony.

Sure enough, there in Clint’s bed, Clint lay with a tiny (but mighty) cat perched happily on his back. Natasha purred in her sunny spot as Clint’s tail thumped the floor. James snapped a picture on his phone and sent it to Steve. He watched in delight as Natasha licked Clint’s ears a couple of times before primly leaping from her perch and approaching Bucky. She rubbed against his ankles, and he scritched her ears. He was pleasantly surprised that she didn’t maul him, though she didn’t allow the attention long before stalking back to curl up next to Clint.

“You are my favorite thing to come home to,” Bucky told her. Not only was it a cute overload, but it also meant Tony would be dropping by to find her later. And if Bucky was lucky, he could talk the brilliant young man into having coffee or watching a bad sci-fi with him. He eagerly set about his afternoon routine, cleaning up the space and making sure he had enough clean dishes. He tossed one large fluffy blanket on his old saggy couch and opened a window to air out the space. Since it was a day off, he also started a load of laundry and wiped down the tiny bathroom. He applied an extra layer of deodorant and waited.

Sure enough, at about seven a knock came at the door.

Bucky didn’t run to open the door, but it was a near thing. He opened the door with a wide grin. “Yes, your cat is here,” he said.

Tony gave him a sheepish grin, hands fluttering uncertainly in front of him. “I am so sorry, I swear my apartment is locked down like cat Fort Knox, I have no idea how she keeps getting out.”

“It’s not a problem. It’s kind of adorable, honestly.”

“My murder cat trying to eat your dog?”

“My dog falling over himself to let her,” Bucky laughed.

“Well, I’m sorry to bother you. I’ll just grab her and get out of your hair.”

“No worries. They seem pretty comfortable. I was just about to start dinner, if you want to join me?”

Tony blinked at him, just as surprised as he always was to be invited to stay. “I, um - can’t cook, at all. And I don’t want to intrude -”

“You’re not intruding,” Bucky replied. “I invited you. And anyone can make mac and cheese from the box.”

Tony mumbled something, looking at the floor.

“Did you just say you lit a box on fire once?” Bucky asked.

“I can neither confirm nor deny.”

“Well. You’re in charge of drinks, then.”

Tony sighed and came inside, apparently convinced that he was welcome. Bucky had noticed early in their unusual acquaintance that Tony always seemed to be waiting for Bucky to tell him to leave, or that he wasn’t wanted. Bucky usually had to ask him several times to come in. Tony never said he didn’t want to visit with Bucky - just that he was worried he was intruding on Bucky himself. Bucky had also noticed that Tony didn’t have many visitors. Not that he’d been paying attention. Or trying to get their schedules to match up. That would be pathetic.

So far, Bucky had seen two people visit Tony. A tall military man that seemed to be like Tony’s Steve had dropped by a few times. A tall redhead with murder heels and a wickedly sharp glint in her eye had visited once. Natasha had actually purred, which just made Bucky more afraid of the woman.

“Um, your pot is boiling over.”

Bucky quickly turned to blow on the boiling water, turning down the burner a little at the same time.

Tony was grinning at him. “Not sure you’re much better at this cooking thing than I am.”

“Well, as long as it’s edible, I’m not too worried.”

“Fair,” Tony said, handing over a tall glass. Bucky hadn’t even noticed him pouring the sparkling cider into the cups.

“There’s wine, if you’d prefer,” Bucky said.

Tony’s face clouded over. “I, ah. Don’t drink. Any. Anymore.”

Bucky nodded. “Works for me. Steve and Sam don’t drink either, though in Steve’s case it’s because he’s usually the designated driver.”

Tony relaxed at the easy acceptance. “That’s why the cider?”

“Yep. And I can’t afford good champagne, need something fizzy to celebrate with.”

Tony nodded like that made perfect sense and took a sip. Bucky watched his tongue flick out across his lips to swipe away the liquid.

“You should meet them sometime,” he blurted out.

Tony blinked. “Uh. Steve and Sam?”

“Yeah. They’re cool. Sam’s ex-military, Steve’s still in the army. Well. Sort of. He can’t give me may details.”

Tony shifted, biting his lip. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to bug them or anything.”

“Completely sure. In fact - we’ve got lunch planned tomorrow. Want to come?”

“I have lunch plans with Pep and Rhodey,” Tony said.

“Bring them along! Might as well get everyone together. It’ll be a party.”

“Yeah, okay,” Tony said. His lips were curved into a soft smile, his eyes light. “Sounds like fun.”

Bucky grinned at him, his heart thudding in his chest and demanding that Bucky make him smile like that always.

He was so fucked.

“I thought we were going to the place on fifth?”

“We’re meeting some people,” Tony said.

Pepper and Rhodey exchanged a glance. “You know other people?” Rhodey asked.

“Shove off, honey bear.”

“Is it cat-napper?”

Tony almost tripped over a crack in the sidewalk.

“It is,” Pepper said, her face splitting into a smirk full of mischief. “Did you finally ask him out?”

“No, he just wanted to introduce me to his bros. You’ll like ‘em, Rhodes. One’s active duty and one’s a veteran.”

“What do they do?”

Tony shrugged. “They’re the classified types.”

“I’ll need to have a talk with this cat-napper.” Pepper tapped her heels a little more forcefully against the cement.

“Please don’t eat him.”

“I make no promises.”

Rhodey grinned and threw an arm over each of their shoulders. “This is going to be a mess. A glorious, glorious mess.”

~Era Penn

Buy me a coffee

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secretlystephaniebrown · 7 years

Text

everything inside and out

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE SIB @sroloc--elbisivni! Last year, I gave you the first part of the Amnesia Verse. This year? Well... let’s get Part 2 out here. I wouldn’t say it’s done, but it’s what I’ve got so far. I hope you enjoy, kiddo! You’re so grown up now. :’)

Warnings: None

Pairings: All ships background/minor/implied, but: Tuckington, Niner/OC, Church/Tex/OC

The problem with the ship is that it’s too crowded. Freelancers and Sim Troopers and civilians are packed in practically elbow-to-elbow, making it impossible for David-Wash-Washington to get alone long enough to try to process the splitting headaches and echoes of memories he keeps getting.

Wash can’t tell his siblings this, but he knows the Freelancers are telling the truth.

He remembers colorful armor and recognizes the voices, and his dreams are filled with combat and shouting voices, not the supposed calm of the deserted planet.

He denies it when they talk about it, but no one believes it anymore. Martha keeps looking at him like he kicked Shadow; this unacknowledged betrayal. He’d left them. He’d left them and let them think he was dead to play super soldier, until whatever had happened and wiped out his memories.

All he knows is that it had something to do with Epsilon, one of the A.I. that most of the Freelancers seem to have. He doesn’t remember what any of his logic or reasoning was; questioning the other Freelancers seems to be a dead end. Most of them don’t have family, or don’t particularly care about them. Niner’s related to Caboose, who seemed to have been aware of Niner being alive, which has done absolutely nothing to assist Niner and Mitch’s arguments.

Something has happened with Mitch and Niner, and Wash doesn’t know what to make of it, the way they occasionally pause in their bickering, the looks they exchange.

Martha spends all her time with the Sim Troopers, and, on occasion, Carolina, who she has begrudgingly accepted if only for Shadow’s fondness for her. She’s sullen and quiet, and unhappy. She doesn’t like the moving around, the cramped space. Wash would have thought that Mitch would be the one who wanted to go home, but it’s not the case. Mitch’s bickering with Niner seems to have driven away all thoughts about the farm; she’s barely even wondered about how the harvest is progressing.

Jackie is positively thriving, like Frank. The two of them have always fed on the interesting, the odd, and the uncontrollable—as long as they can control it. Jackie interrogates the Freelancers and Sim Troopers, and maps out everything she possibly can. Jackie is hungry for knowledge and adventure, starved for it, and Wash had never realized until he sees her compiling her notes. She’d stayed home for college, for grad school, stayed home out of a sense of duty, of family, but Jackie has been craving this.

Wash wonders where she would have gone if he hadn’t gone missing, hadn’t held her back indirectly, by making her afraid of leaving the others.

The Reds and Blues and Frank argue and fight and yell, but there is a comfort to them all the same. It’s an escape, from what he did.

And if Wash sometimes spends longer than is appropriate staring at Tucker when his helmet is off, well that’s no one’s business but his.

The kiss was a mistake.

No, really, it was a terrible mistake, because Mitch can’t stop thinking about it.

Niner is infuriating, obnoxious, loud. Niner is a pilot, she won’t be grounded, she’d never settled down, she’d...

Mitch needs to stop wanting to kiss her, because Mitch doesn’t need women like Niner. She needs a woman who will help with the harvest and settle down. Mitch has never pretended to want anything besides the domestic life on her farm.

Niner, with her armor and her friends and her guns and her kidnapping tendencies would never fit in on the farm, no matter how much Mitch wants to kiss her or run her fingers through her tangled curls or—

None of it matters.

Because Niner is a brother-napper and her friends are all weirdos in colorful armor who are being chased by monsters and the government and they dragged Mitch and her family into their messes.

David is confused, but he won’t say it. He thinks she should be trying to get them home, to bring them back to the farm and their hometown and Mom and Dad and all the rest.

But as long as her family is here, the farm can stay behind.

As long as they’re here, it will all be okay.

Even if infuriatingly cute Four Seven Niner doesn’t want to kiss her again—not that she wants her to.

Martha wants to go home.

Martha wants to wake up in her own bed with Shadow sprawled across her chest, heavy and furry and wonderful, and her brother is back and okay and she’s never fucking heard of Agent Washington.

This ship is full of people who broke her family to pieces, but none of the others seem to care. Mitch is too busy making moony-eyes at Niner, swayed by arguments that they were trying to protect him. Jackie is flirting with Tex and Church at the same time, because her baby sister has terrible taste in men and women, and also enjoys to court disaster and danger. Donut is just happy everyone’s together. He’s always forgiven too easily.

And David?

David is Agent Washington. He doesn’t remember, but he is.

He left them.

There is nothing but bile in Martha’s mouth when she looks at him now. Her brother with the crisscrossing scars and the circles under his eyes and the flecks of grey in his hair, with freckles splotching all over his skin, with a metal thing in the back of his neck—he’s Freelancer, and he let them all think he was dead for adventure and to save the galaxy or whatever else it is that they promise Freelancers.

Martha doesn’t want any of this. She never did. She wanted to join the army when she was young and stupid, and then her brother died, and she grew up, and she realized there was nothing good out there, but her family has already forgotten these lessons.

Her hands shake when she gets like this, all worked up and there’s absolutely nothing she can do about it but hug Shadow tightly until the shakes go away. She mediates arguments because Jackie’s too busy taking notes and Mitch is flirting with Niner, but she can’t do anything but snap and snarl and punch walls when no one is looking. She has nothing to do with her hands, and Martha hates that. She misses her workshop.

She just wants her family back, and these others to go away so they can go home and forget about all of this.

That’s all she’s ever wanted.

It’s probably terrible of Jackie to think of her brother’s kidnapping by his supposed former teammates as the most interesting thing to happen to her since Grad School but…

Look, she loves her home town, but it doesn’t exactly have much in the way of interesting cases, okay?

She certainly never gets to deal with twins who have been pitted against each other as a psychological experiment, people with abandonment issues a mile wide, or several AI before.

Jackie’s always had a soft-spot for AI psychology, even if she hadn’t specialized in it at school. Not enough non-military jobs in that field. And Jackie wasn’t military. She didn’t have it in her.

And then of course, there was the company.

Leonard Church was a pissy, super-smart in his own way, fast-talking jackass with a superiority/inferiority complex and a screechy voice.

So of course, Jackie was harboring a bit of a crush on him, a fact which she was rigorously hiding from her siblings. They had enough opinions about her awful taste in men. And they’d tell Church, whose interest she was still gauging.

Especially because there was also a crush on Texas; hyper-competent, snarky, way too fond of violence, and just enough a mercenary to make Jackie swoon. This crush she was trying to hide even more, because her siblings also had opinions about her taste in women, and she suspected Tex would not talk to her any more if she knew the crush was a Thing, with a capital T.

Jackie’s life would be a lot easier if her taste in people was less inconvenient.

Donut is worried for his sisters. He’s worried for David—wait, no Wash, he goes by Wash now—of course he’s worried, but that’s an old worry. They’ve always been worrying about Wash.

But Martha is going stir-crazy, missing her workshop and on edge with all of these strangers, none of whom she likes. Except Carolina. Somehow, Carolina has accidentally convinced Martha that she’s okay. Mitch is too busy pining over the pilot to handle things, and Jackie is distracted by… everything. Mostly Tex and Church. She thinks they haven’t noticed, but at least Martha has.

And Wash is trying to put the pieces back together, but none of them know where the missing pieces are.

Donut worries.

But then again, he usually does.

And when the Freelancers bring home the AI that apparently wiped out Wash’s memories?

He worries even more.

Wash picks up the containment unit, which is emitting low pulses of blue light. “You don’t know either, do you?” He says.

Epsilon’s light blinks. No.

“Think we can find out?” Wash asks.

The light blinks again, but Wash knows instinctively that it’s a yes.

“Alright,” he says, and pushes open the panel where he knows, somewhere in the part of his mind that knows York’s face and the fact that Carolina dyes her hair and that Connie, whoever she was, is one of the most important people he’s ever met, he can find Epsilon’s chip.

Wash holds it in his hands; it’s small, innocuous even, looking like a video game cartridge. There’s a Greek letter on it, and it’s vaguely blue. It’s burning hot, and Wash nearly drops it. But he doesn’t, because he needs to know. He needs to have answers to the nightmares that he’s been having, he needs to know why these people are important, he needs to be able to give his sisters answers.

Wash takes a deep breath and pushes Epsilon’s chip into his implants.

There is screaming.

Allison with her blonde hair and a laugh that sounds like—Washington has blond hair and blue eyes and he—David was born in a small town in Iowa called—Texas is number one—Agent Washington died in—she’s alive again—he has four siblings—he’s nothing but a memory—a farm far away—a ship—Epsilon-David-Washington-Alpha-Leonard-Agent-Church-Brother-WASH.

The whole world is fire, it feels like. Fire and fury and the agonizing pain. The sharp, cutting feeling of a razor blade across his throat, the white hot fear of everyone dying. York’s eyes glassy and unseeing, Carolina at the bottom of a cliff, Tex with a bullet in her stomach—AlliSON.

Cold hands press against his forehead and he doesn’t open his eyes because they’re not real—nothing is real except Epsilon and him and that awful knotted place where they are one and the same.

“Stay away from him!” Martha screams, spinning towards the Freelancers.

There’s a cold, hard fury in her chest, threatening to burst out, and in this moment she feels invincible. They are super soldiers with armor and enhancements and they can do things that she could never imagine, but right now she thinks she could take them all, with this liquid fury in her veins stronger than any form of courage or bravery.

Her brother is screaming on the floor, and the Epsilon unit—the thing the Freelancers have been telling them broke him the first time—is on the floor, ripped open to expose the chip, which is missing. He’s thrashing and fighting Mitch’s grip on his right wrist and Frank’s grip on his left wrist and Jackie’s grip on his head and there’s nothing for Martha to hold, but she can do this.

She is stubborn, she is stupid, she is reckless, and she’s the one who has always tumbled into a fight after her siblings or in defense of them without question and she can hold the line here.

“We can help—” North Dakota says, and Martha wants to scream.

“No,” she says. “You can’t. All you people do is hurt him. He was out! He was safe! He was healing! And you had to drag him back in, with your fucking missions, and numbers, and revenge, and you—you fucking brought this thing onto the ship because you needed answers, or whatever, and you LET HIM PUT IT IN HIS HEAD.”

Martha’s aware that her eyes are wet.

“We—” It’s York this time, and Martha nearly surges forward to try to punch him, but Tucker catches her hand and holds her back.

“Last time he forgot you,” Martha spits, fighting Tucker’s grip on her, even though she knows she can’t break free. He’s strong, even without his armor, and Martha is out of shape after months of being away from her shop. “What if this time he forgets us?”

Carolina looks alarmed at the possibility, but the others just looked shocked that Martha’s even thought that.

Behind her, Jackie is muttering something softly—trying to talk to Epsilon, Martha thinks, trying to talk him out of Wash’s head, because Jackie thinks she’s a fucking AI whisperer now. Mitch is just pressing her hand against Wash’s forehead and crying softly. Frank is holding Wash’s hand, as the seizures seem to fade.

Martha just stands apart from her siblings, her wrist tight in Tucker’s grip, her other arm thrown out wide, a barrier between her family and these Freelancers who have laid claim to her brother. On the other side, there are the Reds and Blues, hovering over Wash, concerned.

Martha swallows and her eyes remain perfectly dry.

“Go away and leave my family alone,” she says.

It’s been two days and Wash hasn’t woken up. Wash’s family isn’t leaving him—they’ve got him hidden away in the largest of the sleeping quarters. Martha hit York with a broom when he tried to visit, and the less said about South’s attempt the better.

Carolina knocks on the door, and Mitch is the one to answer. She stares at her. For a second, Carolina wonders if she’s going to get a black eye like Niner did, when she tried to talk to Mitch.

Mitch is uncomfortable to look at; the resemblance to Wash is uncanny, even without the scars. There’s a tiredness to Mitch’s face, an exhaustion that looks so terribly familiar.

“Has he woken up?” Carolina says. “I know you don’t want us in here, but… I care about him too. I just want to know that he’s okay.”

Mitch’s icy blue gaze falters for a moment. “He’s not… he hasn’t woken up yet,” she says softly.

Carolina nods once, jerkily.

Mitch looks away. “You know more about AI than we do,” she says, crossing her arms, like she’s trying to hug herself. “Is… do you think… what Martha said…”

“No,” Carolina says, immediately. “I don’t think that.” She takes a breath. “He used to talk about you guys. To Connie. I overheard him once or twice.”

Mitch looks devastated at that, closing her over bright eyes.

“The thing is,” Carolina adds. “He sounded like he’d talked to you guys recently.” Mitch’s eyes snap open, and focus on Carolina’s face, as if looking for something. Her mouth forms a thin, considering line, an expression so like Wash’s that the resemblance is dizzying.

“Thank you,” Mitch says. She doesn’t say what for, but it doesn’t matter. She closes the door behind her, but it’s not a slam, and Carolina can work with that.

Wash opens his eyes, and he remembers.

There’s someone holding his hand, and someone pressed against his chest, and someone is sitting on his legs, and the faint sound of Jackie snoring in the background.

Martha’s sitting on his legs, head lolled against the wall of the bunk, mouth open and drooling slightly. Mitch has his hand in a vicelike grip, while Donut is curled up next to him, head resting on Wash’s chest, like he’d done when they were kids. Jackie is sprawled on the floor, Mitch’s jacket under her head like a pillow.

Wash squeezes Mitch’s hand slightly, not daring to move otherwise, for fear of disturbing his siblings.

But the door is open just a crack, and Wash sees Niner peek in.

She looks awful; there’s a black eye

She meets his eyes, and something shifts. “You remember?”

Wash nods.

She glances sideways at Mitch, and coughs. “How mad is she, exactly?”

Wash lets his head thump back against the pillows dramatically. “Not as mad as she wants to be. Don’t worry. She’s usually very lenient with her girlfriends.”

Niner starts to splutter and cough. “We’re—she’s—wait, really?”

“Well,” Wash mutters. “It could be worse. I’m pretty sure Jackie has a crush on Church.”

“Really?” Niner asks, peering at his youngest sister. “I thought she had a thing for Tex.”

Wash pauses, considering. “…well. At least Martha’s safe from that.”

“Shut up, David,” Martha mutters. “You have no room to talk, pining over Tucker.”

Wash has been crushing on a Sim Trooper. Well that… complicates things.

He glances around at his family again, then looks up at Niner, but she’s already gone. Somewhere on the ship, Wash knows, there are Sim Troopers and Freelancers and his sisters.

He… had absolutely failed to understand the full implications of this situation when he’d had amnesia.

Wash swallows down the wave of bile as Epsilon’s memories threaten to overwhelm him, focusing instead on the way Donut is clinging to him, focusing on the way that Donut had used to do that when they were little. His memories. Not Leonard Church’s—oh shit, Church is—no, no, focus on Mitch’s farming callouses and the way they feel against his hand.

He’s going to get through this.

He’s pretty sure his siblings would kill him if he didn’t.

#Steph Writes #Donut Siblings #The Ghost Ship #MitchNiner #Nina is a menace #Red vs Blue

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ericasbookblog-blog · 5 years

Text

Fantasy

Image

Santoso, C. (2017). Wishtree. New York, NY: Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC.

Wishtree by Katherine Applegate

In a story that captures a tree as its main character, Wishtree by Katherine Applegate reminds everyone just how important it is to treat everyone around them. This beautiful tale also demonstrates just how powerful a tree and a few critters can be. Lastly, it reminds the reader that just when you think no one is watching, someone might just be keeping an eye on you.

Evaluation of Book

While reading Wishtree by Katherine Applegate, there are various themes and traits that appear in the writing, but perhaps the one that stands out the most is dialogue. First off, it is important to acknowledge that the dialogue that is occurring throughout the majority of the book is done between a tree (specifically a Northern Red Oak tree named Red) and a crow (named Bongo). Of course there are other characters that interact with Red, but the majority of the talking is done by Red and Bongo. The story itself is told from Red’s perspective and his story quickly changes from just a tree talking about what he is doing to a tree with a purpose and a mission to make someone’s wish come true, after all he is a wishtree. I’ll be honest, when I was reading this, there were times that I found myself forgetting that he was a tree. There were times when I was saying “just get up and walk!” But I quickly remembered that he is a tree! However, even though he is a tree, he accomplishes so much more than most humans have.

Another trait the book contains is music in language. The best representation of this is when Red is describing what he has been through, and all the things he has seen. Red states:

“When you stand still for over two centuries while the world whirls past, things happen. Mostly, by far and away, good things have been my lot in life. My leaves have cooled picnickers and proposers. Beneath my boughs vows have been made, hearts mended. Nappers have napped; dreamers have dreamed. I’ve watched ascents attempted, listened to stories spun” (Applegate, 2017).

The way the entire book is written is almost in a poetic nature, Red is very eloquent with his words and he is very passionate about his home and his tenants. Something important to note is how he describes the tenants around him, Samar and Stephen. Seeing him trying to make Samar’s wish come true and the different steps he takes are wonderful, as they are small steps, but they do make a big difference.

Although there is very little illustration, I think it is important to acknowledge how the little illustration that is provided is able to extend and develop the plot. There are various illustrations that are provided allow the reader the ability to see the different characters that Red talks about, including an illustration of what Red really looks like. There is one specific illustration that makes the text richer than it already is. It is on page 202 and it is right before they are about to cut Red down. All the animals that consider him a home, are seated on his branches. The illustration shows owls, cats, raccoons, rats, and Bongo the crow. The story goes on as the characters are in awe with all the animals just sitting on the tree, refusing for it to move. Although the text does justice in telling the reader what exactly is happening, the way the illustration is shown just add more detail that makes it seem so much more real.

Response

I am unsure how to describe it, but while reading Wishtree by Katherine Applegate, the one connection I had with the text was that it was very calming. The main character itself is a tree, and trees themselves are shown to be staples in nature, perhaps even aiding to a calming environment. When I read the book, I found myself reading it with a different type of sense and approach; the main character was calm and he was witty and when the toughest things arose, he still handled them in such a poised manner. This type of attitude did not remind me of myself so much, because I am the complete opposite, but rather of how acting and reacting in this manner can have its own strengths. If I was a tree, and I knew I was getting cut down in a few days, I would not be as calm as Red was, rather I would be freaking out, mostly because I am a tree that cannot move! However, reading this book did remind me that there is definitely a positive at just staying calm and being observant at things.

I think sometimes as human beings we have a very quick and on the go type of lifestyle that we do not stop to really enjoy what is going on around us. For example myself, I cannot remember the last time I sat under a tree; maybe it happened when I was a child, and maybe it was on a spring day, but I cannot remember any time after that. I think after reading this, I definitely saw the saying “You don’t know what you have until it's too late.” Luckily, Red was able to stay and continue to be a part of the community, but in general, since we are living such a quick lifestyle, sometimes we are not able to stop and enjoy what is happening around us. This book definitely made me realize that there are other things to be enjoying around the world, and I should not be living such a busy lifestyle; it is not healthy for me and it is also not healthy for those around me.

I think this book is one of the very few books that I have read that falls into the category of both wonderful text and a wonderful work of art. The way the book is written almost makes you forget that you are reading about a tree, but rather the reader feels very connected with this tree and the troubles he is going with. Also, it is important to acknowledge the two separate stories that are happening at the same time; sure this is a story about Red and his purpose as a wishtree, but it is also a story about how we wishes to make one girl’s wish come true and the lengths he goes to do that. He breaks the one rule he is supposed to follow, which is to never speak to a human, but as soon as he finds out his days are numbered, he breaks it just so he is able to give Samar the wish she wished for, “A Friend.” It is important for books like these to have a place in children’s literature because they are able to remind young readers that things will get better, even if it feels like they won't, they do.

Conclusion

Throughout reading Wishtree by Katherine Applegate, I learned that sometimes you have to stop and enjoy what you have before it’s gone. Although this story is fantasy, some of the themes that were presented were extremely relatable for children even adults. In addition, I do believe that this book falls into a category of great text and great illustrations overall making it a great piece of art. I would rate this book a five out of five stars.

Citation

Applegate, K. (2017). Wishtree. New York, NY: Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC.

Santoso, C. (2017). Wishtree. New York, NY: Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC.

Image

Baynes, P. (1950). The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. New York, NY: HarperCollins.

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

It is hard to imagine a whole other world than the one we currently live in. It is especially hard to imagine that there might be a world behind a simple wardrobe. Through curiosity and discovery Lucy, Edmund, Peter, and Susan are able to enter another world and perhaps become a part of something greater than they thought ever possible.

Evaluation of Book

Throughout The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, there are various forms of dialogue that take place. What makes the dialogue in the book particularly special is that at no point does it feel like you are not talking to a human. This specific story is fantasy, and so are the characters inside it. However, the conversations that take place between the children as well as the many characters (such as Tumnus, Aslan, and Mr. Beaver) feel natural to the reader, as if you are just carrying a conversation with any other human. The way the book is written is able to transport you to another world, with the comfort of dialogue being simple and relatable enough for the reader.

Another trait within the book is understatement. There are various scenes within the book that allow the reader the opportunity to conclude what the character is feeling without being directly told by the writing. An example of this is when Edmund asks the queen for “Turkish delight.” Upon asking her for this, Edmund continues eating and having a conversation with the White Witch. The reader can easily conclude that he is eating his food and enjoying his time as he is getting practically everything he could ever want. Many of the actions that occur within the book occur on their own, and the reader can then conclude how they are making the character feel. Another example of this is when Edmund is confronted by his siblings on whether there really is a world on the other side of the wardrobe and he denies it. The reader can conclude that Lucy must have felt all types of emotions, even though they are not clearly stated.

In addition to the previous two traits, another trait that is in the writing is unexpected insight. There are various times that the reader knows things that the character in the book might not. An example of this is the entire dynamic between the White Witch and Edmund. Although the character himself might not know what is happening, the reader knows that the witch is bad and is up to no good. Of course, this is something that the character does not discover right until the end when it is a bit too late and too tricky to escape. Unexpected insights in this particular story are essential because they are able to keep the reader going with the story, wondering when the character themselves will be able to know the information the reader has known for quite some time.

Response

I was able to connect with the text, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis on a personal level. I vaguely remember reading this book as a child in elementary school. Reading it a second time around reminded me of all the details of the book that I enjoyed, and it definitely gave me a different meaning the second time around. I think for many of the books that we have had to read, there has been an awakening to new books I did not know I would love so much, as well as a reminder of all the great books I have read. There is definitely a huge difference reading books as a kid and as an adult. Now, I am able to make more meaning of the literature as well as make connections and piece things together that I perhaps was not able to do when i was younger.

This book was able to address one specific thing I find important- the genre of fantasy itself. This is probably one of the few fantasy books that I have read that has had a long term impact on me. In one of our previous discussions, I stated that fantasy is one of those genres that I do not feel too connected to because I just have a hard time imagining anything outside the realm of possibility. However, this is probably one of the only books where I did allow myself to travel to Narnia and be with all the characters during the different times. I do think one of the reasons for this is because there was a type of fantasy that was being portrayed with the possibility of relation. For example, I remember being just like Lucy when I was a child, discovering and getting into things that I was probably not supposed to be getting into. Having that aspect of relatability within the text was something that was able to help me personally connect with the book a lot more.

As a whole, I enjoyed reading the book. I think this specific book is more of an entertainment piece rather than a work of art. While I do think there were several parts and characters that qualify to be art, I do not think the whole book is. For example, in my opinion, the character of Aslan is one piece that I would consider art simply because he was well developed and portrayed in a beautiful manner. On a different account, I would also consider the White Witch a piece of art too. The different features in which she is portrayed as well as her character as a whole is fascinating enough to qualify as art. I think this book is great for anyone trying to read something fun and engaging that will be out of the ordinary. This book is able to transport the reader and provide a wonderful story that keeps the reader on edge.

Conclusion

Overall, I enjoyed reading The Lion, the Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. It was definitely a book that had enough adventure and excitement while still encompassing different fantasy aspects to keep the reader engaged. Also, the different twists and turns do make the reader eager to read other books that are within the series. Overall, I would give this book four out of five stars.

Citation

Baynes, P. (1950). The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. New York, NY: HarperCollins.

Lewis, C.S. (1950). The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. New York, NY: HarperCollins.

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