#(days where. my body is physically anxious but like my mind is calm. this happens often. I don’t think I’m very in tune with my more-$ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mockerycrow · 7 months

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SAFETY (Roommate!Gaz x GN!Reader)

gaz photo is by the wonderful @yumethefrostypanda

summary; you went out by yourself whilst gaz is home, and you aren’t answering your phone.

roommate!gaz masterlist

[WARNINGS; slight angst, vague description of deaths, paranoid militaristic thinking, anxiety, gaz is just anxious </3]

KYLE COULD not get himself to calm down. He swears in the back of his mind that his feet are burning holes into the wooden floor of your shared apartment as he paces back and forth in the living room, even circling around the couch a couple of times. There’s horrible worry eating away at his gut, tearing through his stomach like a lawn mower cuts through grass. Kyle isn’t.. used to being anxious like this. He’s used to being on edge, alert; ready for the next attack or target to appear. Kyle’s used to waiting around, but not like this at all. Kyle’s used to be waiting in thick bushes, laying down in his ghillie suit with his Captain by his side, waiting for a convoy to ride down a road he’s looking at through his sniper’s scope. He isn’t used to waiting at home with zero contact with you, waiting for you to get home.

He felt unbelievably useless because he’s texted you multiple times, called you—neither of them went through, meaning something is wrong with your phone. Are you okay? Are you hurt? You insisted on taking a walk which he didn’t want to go on, so did you get hit by a car? Did you get kidnapped? Kyle groans and he rubs his face, lightly slapping his cheeks in an attempt to get his bearings. “They’re fine, you git.” He whispers to himself, even though he doesn’t believe what he’s trying to tell himself. There’s so many damn possibilities that could be wrong that Kyle can’t help but torture himself with. Kyle sits down on the couch for a moment, his fingers resting on his thighs and taps against them, muttering that you’re fine a couple of times.

Kyle grabs the TV remote from the table in front of the couch and he tries to lean back to relax. He doesn’t stop his leg from bouncing as he switches the TV on, and he knows he shouldn’t watch the news, it’ll make it worse; but he can’t help it. Kyle goes to switch to the news but he pauses—what if there was a terrorist attack and you’re there? What if there was a bomb, and you’re trapped under rubble, just like what happened in—

The front door opens and Kyle whips his head around to look, holding his breath. He lets out a shaky breath as he watches you shuffle inside, grumbling as you’re holding a closed, but wet red umbrella. “Bloody hell.” Kyle curses as he gets up from the couch, and he begins to approach you. “The fuckin’ rain is terrible,” You begin to ramble, unzipping your rain coat that Kyle bought for you last year. You’re looking down at your soaked pants and shoes, and luckily you’re standing on top of a mat you had half a mind to buy before the rainy season began. “My goddamn pho—”

Kyle wraps his arms around you, ignoring the way the water on your coat soaks into the gray long sleeved shirt he’s wearing. “You’re a fuckin’ arse.” Kyle grumbles loudly, the anxiety finally settling in his gut, his mind no longer shouting at him the warning signs. You huff, your hands trying to pry Kyle’s from your body. “I—Huh? I didn’t do anything, Kyle, you’re getting wet—“ You insist, but Kyle’s grip doesn’t budge. “I don’t give a fuck,” He says, tightening his arms. You sigh, your eyebrows furrowing in worry. “What’s happened?”

Kyle doesn’t respond for a moment; he knows it’s illogical. He knows it’s because he only came home from deployment about two days ago—where the mission was grueling mentally and physically. Kyle knows it’s because he watched a building collapse with the knowledge people were inside, civilians. You’re a civilian, and he’s terrified something will happen to you. He knows his fears are just agitated because he hasn’t calmed down from everything that had happened; so he doesn’t want to share—

You managed to squirm your arms from under his and your hands grab his head, forcing it back and then forward to make him look at you, causing him to blink rapidly. “Hey,” You utter. “What’s wrong?”

Kyle presses his lips together as he reluctantly lets go of you, but he doesn’t ignore the way your hands stay on him, drifting from his head to his shoulder; likely to keep him grounded. “You didn’t answer your phone.” Kyle breathes out, his eyes scanning yours. You blink and his stomach twists a bit at the way you laugh. “Oh, sorry, Kyle. It was raining, and some fucking asshole splashed me.” You respond, fishing your damp phone out of your pocket. “Phone’s dead forever.” His eyes flicker to your phone and he feels so unbelievably stupid. How the fuck did he think of you dying from a bomb before some other mishap with your phone?

Kyle groans and rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands as he curses under his breath, embarrassment flowing through his veins. At least you’re alright, that’s what matters.

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laurfilijames · 17 days

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Wish You Were Here

Pairing: Will 'Ironhead' Miller x reader

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: Angst. Mentions of death and brief descriptions of war. Intimate flashbacks.

Summary: Sleep deprivation begins to take its toll on Will, leaving him distressed and emotional as he thinks about being back home with you.

A/N: This is sad and it hurt my heart to write but I needed to do it so I can go back to writing fluffy filth!

---

The numbers usually calmed him, gave him something sturdy and finite to focus on, but tonight they taunted him.

Each second that turned into a minute was a cruel reminder of all the ones he had spent awake, and no matter how exhausted he was and how physically ill he felt from the sleep he was being starved of, his mind and body refused it.

It had been days without more than a few minutes of rest at a time, only accumulating to a small number of hours that wasn’t enough to sustain anybody, and another wave of nausea set in as the effects of it all started to become too much.

It was moments like this that he missed you even more. The hurt in his heart turned physical, a relentless ache for you that the pains in his body couldn’t compare to.

Will sighed heavily, trying everything he could to cope with the insanity he felt over it, but it was growing to be unbearable, his limits tested like the few times they had before. He wondered as he took another deep inhale - his empty stomach filling with air - if he was waking anyone up in his distress, constantly shifting where he sat on the cold ground to try to feel even an ounce of comfort, his breathing louder than the wind howling around them, but it was stupid to think anyone else was able to slip into the solace of sleep at this point. No one was snoring and everyone was still, lacking the relaxed twitches that came when rest took control of your body, and he thought how the only members of their company who were resting peacefully were the ones going home to their families accompanied by a folded flag.

Home.

He blew out another shaky breath, closing his burning eyes so he was able to picture it in his tormented mind.

Your alarm would be about to go off, the early dawn still covering your bedroom in darkness right before the sun appeared to kiss your skin with its orange glow instead of his lips, your side of the bed cold as your body favoured his spot to be the one that was kept warm. You would no doubt have one of his t-shirts on and your head would be on his pillow, gripping it tightly as if it was him, trying to capture a bit of him that was left behind from the last time he was there with you.

Will found a little relief in these thoughts, knowing you were safe and out of harm's way, although he wasn’t naive enough to think you weren’t spending each moment worried and anxious for his safety.

Another inhale, slower this time, eyes still screwed shut as if the tighter he closed them the further he would be from this brutal reality.

He can hear the hum of the fan that sits on your dresser and is aimed at your bed, the sound ingrained in his mind from keeping both of you cool in the humidity night after night, and he can almost smell the scent of your heated skin, the familiarity of it making his mouth water, the desperation he feels to be able to hold you making him want to smile and scream all at once.

Fuck, he wished you were here.

Will flashed open his eyes. No. He couldn’t dream of placing you in this hell and exposing you to all the evil he had witnessed.

He shifted his legs, closing his eyes again as tears sprung up in them, the wet boots on his feet feeling more intolerable than usual.

Another inhale, then exhale.

He sighed again, imagining he’s back in your room, crawling into fresh sheets after showering, tangling his naked limbs with yours, your fingertips dancing up and down along his arm and back and softly over his face until his breathing continues to happen without him thinking about it and his mind is temporarily void of all he holds onto.

In the distance, the boom of an air raid sounds, rumbling and shaking the ground with a trembling force, bringing him out of his dream.

His muscles felt incredibly heavy, beyond tired and depleted of any strength, and he replaced the reasons why they were with how wonderful his body always felt after pouring every bit of energy he had into loving you, the satisfaction in expending all of his power into your pleasure comparable to nothing else.

A stray tear rolled down his cheek as his breathing grew quicker, thinking how he would do just about anything to be with you right now, even for the briefest of moments. Everything was more tolerable when he was with you, no demons too big to face, the strength you had admirable and extended over to him by simply being in your proximity. Sleep was something that never came easy to him, but at least when he was with you he was engulfed in a comforting embrace that gave him some rest and repose.

He brushed the wet away with his thumb, his heart clenching in his chest while his throat restricted, knowing if you were here you would kiss each tear away and sit quietly with him until his mind gave him some reprieve.

Will sunk his chin down into the collar of his jacket, rubbing his mouth back and forth on the material, the smell of sweat, rain and stale blood that he didn’t know was his or not filling his nostrils with a pungency he struggled to get used to.

A huff that bordered on being a laugh came from him, thinking how ironic it was that the night before he deployed he hadn’t slept either, choosing instead to spend every second he had making love to you over and over while the time was available to him, each time never enough, and he thought how he would sacrifice sleep for the rest of his life if it meant he could share nights like that with you again.

He licked his lips, trying to get some moisture onto them and rid them of the stinging, chapped feeling and then pressed them together, recalling how it felt to have them hydrated and wet from yours, imagining the sensation of your skin under them as he peppered countless kisses on your body, something he could only describe as being the closest he could ever get to heaven while he sat in the threshold of hell.

Will had vowed when he left that morning that he would never leave you again after this mission, and he would stay true to that promise, deeming it completely impossible to carry on like this while knowing everything he needed to live and survive was half the world away.

Until then, he would tick off every minute, hour and day, counting them down until he was holding you in his wearied arms again, and hoped he could at least pass some of them with sleep, the gravity of needing to be alert and focused in order to make it back to you sitting heavily on his shoulders.

He untucked his arms from across his chest, tugging up the sleeve on his left one to check his watch, feeling a little more hopeful that he was one hour closer to that goal.

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Comments and reblogs are the lifeline of fanfic, so if you enjoyed reading this story, please consider sharing your thoughts with me and others! 💗

Taglist:

@sotwk @dailydragon08 @sunnys-day @thedreadandthefugitivemind @glassgulls

@littlenosoul @glitterypirateduck @momia2910 @maggotzombie @rmwarn90

@paintlavillered @casa-boiardi @stealfromthedevil @kmc1989

#will miller #will miller x reader #triple frontier #charlie hunnam #will miller fic #will 'ironhead' miller #william miller #william 'Ironhead' miller #triple frontier fic #charlie hunnam characters

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alhaithamsproperty · 1 year

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GEPARD X READER HEADCANONS *ೃ༄

Already mentioned some here, but i was thinking about Gepard a lot (as one does‼️), so here’s more <3😩.

Also I got that mfs E1 on standard a few days back😭 maaan I wanted a new character, but always happy to see my bby🤍.

ALSO my friend said he looks like prince Ben from Descendants and I can’t unsee it hELP💀.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

sfw:

❄️ he’s a shy man alright, he grew up not caring about romance at all so when you appeared and turned his whole world and priorities upside down, he was flustered, didn’t know what to do.

❄️ now he doesn’t mind taking the initiative, grabbing your wrist and turning you around to face him, slamming his lips against yours and pushing your body where he wants it, which is against his. if he wants to feel you, he will.

❄️ oh boy but in the beginning… serval did a lot for him, if it weren’t for her you two would probably still not be together, because it was always hard to read him, he had an invisible wall in front of him every single time

❄️ not that he meant to have an invisible wall, he was just so shy he didn’t know what to say or do most of the time so he did what he knew best: shield himself in.

❄️ like i mean it, you’d be worried he does not care and he would be worried if he didn’t say something stupid, it was a big mess.

❄️ now?? now that ass will cuddle you, grab you, mumble “i love you i love you i love you” until you’re giggling because his breath tickles your neck, he will hum songs while you’re falling asleep, you’ll be walking past him and he’ll just grab you and sit you on his lap and tell you to rest.

❄️ his love language is physical contact, which is something he didn’t know before he discovered it.

❄️ he even described it to his sister… i love touching her, holding her hand, her leg, her— serval stopped him right there.

❄️ it’s got a lot to do with him being so busy, he’s practically never home (oh yeah did i mention you’d absolutely live together and have rooms full of plants and flowers?), his duty as a guard is and will always be his number one priority, and luckily you are understanding enough, but sometimes he gets anxious anyway.

❄️ he’ll think he’s not giving you enough of his time and that you might eventually grow unhappy and unsatisfied with him, so whenever he has the chance he holds you, even if it means resting his palm on your thigh, playing with your fingers during dinner, brushing his hand on your back gently while making dinner, anything. he needs to touch you, to remind you he’s there.

❄️ he’s tall.

❄️ tall bf.

❄️ he’s tall btw, so he constantly leans over you, his entire arm resting right above your head whenever he wants to tell you something, his other hand cupping your face even if you’re having an innocent conversation.

❄️ he loves to hug you from behind. he’ll rest his chin on top of your head and just watch what you’re doing.❄️

❄️ he’s a good cook (green flag).

❄️ he’s that type of guy who you’d mention “uhm i had a weird dream about waffles today,” and an hour later he’ll bring you waffles.

❄️ surprisingly bad with kids, he’ll unintentionally make them cry because he’d talk to them about the reality of life as if they were adults and tell them how a healthy diet is important.

(A/N: it’s actually in his voicelines 😭 poor guy)

❄️ you’re surprisingly good with kids so they always calm down and laugh with you, and you give them lots of candy.

❄️ he loves you even more every single time this happens btw and his heart just fills with warmth.

❄️ sneaking out to see him on his night patrols, a lot.

❄️ it depends on his mood, sometimes he’ll welcome you and take a night walk with you, talk and laugh about your days and hold your hand and kiss your cheek and constantly ask if you’re cold.

❄️ sometimes he’ll send you right back home because he’s too busy, or because it’s dangerous. if he’s worried about you he’s strict.

❄️ you’re upset by that because sometimes you really don’t get much time together, so you wanted to at least talk to him there. he knows you’re upset and he hugs and cuddles and kisses you the entire morning, he’s usually working night shifts so when he arrives back home in the morning he often skips sleep just to spend time with you (you don’t approve of this, but he insists).

❄️ your entire apartment is filled with flowers and plants and it’s one of your favorite activities to just go visit the flower shops and go crazy with how much you buy🥰.

❄️ it’s a bit too much at this point honestly.

❄️ if you have to leave for a few days half of the flowers are dying by the time you come back. and he’ll panic and desperately ask serval and peela how to fix them.

❄️ he gets flustered a lot, you catching him as he hums to himself? immediately goes blushing, you grabbing his hips to pull him to you? he’ll chuckle and look away to hide how his cheeks go red.

❄️ but he’s also jealous as fuck.

❄️ he doesn’t abuse his power but if he just senses someone being too friendly with you he’ll grab your waist and remind everyone he’s the guard captain.

❄️ sampo likes you a bit too much and he always goes feral and threatens to lock him up for “all his crimes” but it’s really to just scare him off away from you.

❄️ one time he mentioned something about if someone went missing, the guards might not find them.

❄️ he’ll kiss you so passionately and hard and force his tongue down your throat if someone makes him jealous, all the shyness leaves his body at that moment.

❄️ movie nights with serval 🤍.

❄️ he loves your thighs so much, he loves it when you sit on his lap, when he can stroke them unger the table, when you come out of the shower in just his shirt and he can stare.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

‼️nsfw:

❄️ submissive.

❄️ like SO submissive, most of the time he’s on his knees for you.

❄️ he’s so tall that if he goes down to his knees his head is in the perfect position to eat you out, he’ll wrap your legs around his shoulders and push you against the door or wall or the matress and whimper as he lets his tongue play with your clit.

❄️ “i know, i know, baby, it was a busy day at the patrol today, here, let me make it up to you,” and gets on his knees and pulls your shorts down slowly.

❄️ loves it when you pull his hair.

❄️ praises you a lot, “ah, you are so pretty” “beautiful” “my pretty girl” but also loves to be praised.

❄️ he loves it when you suffocate him with your thighs, he loves it when you pull on his hair whenever he eats you out, he loves it when you pull so hard you force him to look at you from beneath you.

❄️ he’ll stare into your eyes the whole time and wait for reactions from you, if you’re not praising him enough he’ll make you praise him until you can’t even speak.

❄️ he whimpers a lot. his breath gets caught in his throat when he moans.

❄️ you tease him a lot, whenever you don’t want him to leave for his shift you’ll be more touchy, you’ll sit on his lap during breakfast, you’ll give his neck kisses and little bites and he’ll groan and think about it the entire day.

❄️ a lot of those night walks ending up in heavy make outs in dark alleys.

❄️ “please, geppy, please i need you, gosh i’ve been thinking about you all day,” and he’ll groan and push you against the cold wall and gently grab your thigh to wrap it around his waist.

❄️ he ends up fingering you every single time, having your legs wrapped around his waist, shaking and gasping for breath and begging him to keep going.

❄️ “that’s my girl”

❄️ “my girl”

❄️ “mine”

❄️ he’ll let you lick his fingers after and then kiss you to give him a little taste.

❄️ or he has a bit more time on some nights and will have the proper taste, and eat you out.

❄️ thigh riding. he loves it. please coat his pants, he’ll love it.

❄️ basically he loves it when you use him, he’ll lay down and let you ride his face whenever you need a little release, no problem, if he has to do something important for work he’ll let you ride his thigh until it’s covered in your slick and you are a shaking mess unable to breathe.

❄️ occasionally he’ll grab your hips to encourage you to keep moving.

❄️ you’ll shamelessly rock your hips and grind on him for hours and he can’t get enough.

❄️ will take proper care of you and properly fuck you later <3.

❄️ uses baby a lot; baby you’re so good, my girl feels good, nmph nh baby, please.

❄️ will leave bruises and hickeys on your neck and get absolutely shy and red the next day because of it.

❄️ tells you to cover it when you visit him later that day (you don’t, and he earns a bunch of glances from his guards).

❄️ if you make him jealous on purpose he’ll switch and be rough with you, wrap his hand around your neck or literally one time when one of his guards flirted with you he fucked you in a near alley, and made sure you’d be loud that night so that fucking guard would hear his skin slapping against yours and your moans and whimpers. when all of the rush disappeared he had no idea what came over him (but you seemed to like it).

❄️ besides this little incident he’s not a fan of PDA. he’ll hold your hand and kiss your cheek and buy you flowers and show his affection, but he prefers to make love to you in privacy (well— until he’s needy or until someone tries to cross the boundaries).

#gepard x reader #honkai star rail #hsr #gepard #gepard landau #gepard landau x reader #gepard hsr #gepard landau smut #gepard smut #serval landau #serval #serval hsr #hsr gepard #star rail #honkai #gepard landau imagine #gepard landau imagines #gepard imagine #gepard imagines

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lemonzestywrites · 1 month

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Of course I have to ask about omega Eddie

your wish is my command!!

heard the words "im a nester. i nest' and well...rightfully spiraleld

Buck does his best to calm down his overactive mind before entering Eddie's house. It’s one thing for Eddie to take a sick day or two every now and then, but a whole week? Out of nowhere, too- the whole thing is off. Because if he knew about it beforehand he would have told Buck about it, right? …Right? He shakes his head. This isn’t about him. This is about Eddie. With swift, anxious fingers, he slides his key into place and unlocks the front door, allowing himself inside. Immediately upon entering, Buck takes a half step back, physically reeling from the sudden aroma that hits him. It’s strong. Sweet. And yet oddly familiar. What the fuck? It sends Buck’s back a bit as he shuts the door behind him. It’s not a bad smell by any means, and definitely not artificial in any sense; fuck, just the opposite. Like someone took the natural scent of the Diaz home and cranked it by a thousand. But there’s something else there. Something Buck doesn’t know, but it feels like he should. His stomach turns, and the hairs on his arms stand as sweat gathers between his shoulders. Fuck, what is happening here? He squeezes his eyes shut, quickly shaking his head. His body is overreacting, he needs to focus. Buck came here for a reason. With a deep breath, he pulls himself together. “Eddie?” he calls out, heading further into the living room. Buck ignores how the scent feels like it’s getting stronger there. He definitely ignores the way his body seems to crave more of it, too. Now is definitely not the time. There’s no sign of Eddie here besides the smell, but then out of the corner of his eye, he spots it. On the floor of the living room, where the coffee table once stood, a gathering of pillows, blankets, and sheets now stands. Buck glances down at the pile, slowly noticing a smattering of a few hoodies and T-shirts strewn about the floor as well. The realization hits him like a brick upside the head. It’s a nest. Eddie’s nest. His mind spins, all the information swirling around in his mind wildly. The days off. The smell. The nest. Oh fuck. Eddie’s going into heat.

#also this is omega!eddie and alpha!buck #they both take suppressants and whatnot for work so usually it's not to much of a problem #until now LMAO #also forgive me im not super well versed in abo so this will be a learning experience for everyone #911 #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #zestywrites #omega!eddie fic

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bewareblaire · 2 years

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Addict. Yan Todoroki Shoto x Reader

a/n: if you’ve seen this post before, no you didn’t. (my life’s been a total trainwreck, okay? mental health went down the drain, deleted account, but now i’m back.)

cw: toxic relationships and behaviours, obsessive and possessiveness, clingy behaviour.

It had been a few days since Todoroki had seen them last. Of course, the two were still speaking- but with his internship, Todoroki had gotten busy. Sparse messages in between breaks, with little to no time to engage in deep and meaningful conversations.

Todoroki couldn't handle being thrown into the deep end. He missed his darling, craving their touch. Suddenly going from hourly texting, calling, and physically being in their presence to nothing. At first, Todoroki was glued to his phone, waiting for a specific notification sound to go off. The need to hold them in his arms grew with intensity until it was all he could think about. How were they fairing? What were they doing right now? Were they thinking of him?

He had to put his phone away when his father had threatened to take it away. Hiding his panic and growing disdain for his father. How dare he threaten to take away his only mode of communication? Todoroki didn't rest on it, clamming up and focusing on his duties. He could spare a few messages to his beloved, wishing them goodnight, greeting them in the morning. There were rare instances where Todoroki could message them during the day.

The dual-haired boy wanted this entire internship to be over and done with. He felt as if he was going through withdrawals! Perhaps he was addicted to them. Todoroki couldn't sleep much, and when he did, it wasn't good sleep. Anxious thoughts bubbled up in his mind, worrying about them. Were they okay? Did they get hurt? He wouldn't be there to protect them if he were here.

Todoroki got irritable easier, giving his father the cold shoulder. It wasn't anything new, although it was particularly harsh. He craved holding them in his arms, being in their company once more. It ate at him, building up and plaguing his mind. At times, it was the only thing he could think about. It certainly got in the way of interning, asking his father to repeat things and missing cues.

When he fought the Hero Killer, he had sent a message to his darling explaining what had happened. Todoroki would be lying if he said he didn't like the attention he received afterwards. They had rushed to the hospital, near tears. It almost broke his heart, seeing that expression on their face. That he caused it. On the flip side, they cared about him and were worried sick about him. He knew because they told him as much.

Their hugs were always warm, their embrace soft. Even as their body shook with sobs, babbling about how Todoroki isn't allowed to do that ever again. The hug wasn't broken for a while, the two staying in that position until the other calmed down. Todoroki could've sworn he was in heaven. His heart hammered against his chest as if it were trying to get out of his ribcage. They cared about him, worried for him. He was addicted to them, in the purest way. Akin to a drug addict, he'd be selfish. He'd hold them close and never let go. He'll never share- he won't let anyone see them.

#bnha #mha #yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere todoroki #yandere todoroki shoto #todoroki #todoroki shoto imagine #todoroki shoto #shoto todoroki #todoroki x reader #yandere todoroki x reader #yandere todoroki shoto x reader #yandere shoto todoroki x reader

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klutzyroses · 2 years

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Hi! I just love your blog so much❤️ so may I request a hc for Napoleon, Leonardo, Dazai, Vincent, Le comte taking care of their s/o who often goes through panic attacks and are way too stressed out, Feel free to ignore. Thank you 😊

So sweet anon, here you are~🌸❤

IkeVamp HCs: S/O has a panic attack

How do they handle their anxious s/o having frequent panic attacks

Suitors: Napoleon, Leonardo, Vincent, Dazai, Comte

Napoleon

Napoleon, from the moment he met her, noticed she was someone who dealt with a lot of stress.

He could definitely relate to an extent, having been emperor and a leader, stress a large part of his life and he had often seen his fellow soldiers crack under the pressure.

When she is having a panic attack for the first time, he is caught off guard at first but he immediately comes to her aid. He takes her away to somewhere more secluded, where it's just the two of them and holds her like she were a precious porcelain doll, gently cradling her head to have her lock eyes with loving viridian. He will speak in soft but firm tones, to let her know that everything would be alright, that she would be alright.

"Don't worry, my puce, it's going to be fine. Just calm down, I'm right here to protect you...I won't let anything happen to you. Ever."

He will press his forehead to hers and stay there until she was okay at last, and even when she is calm, he kept her close to him just in case.

He just wants her to be happy and safe, physically and mentally and as such, he will often keep a close eye on her, just to make sure she doesn't stress herself out or get overly anxious.

Leonardo

The laid back inventor is not unfamiliar with people who suffer anxiety.

He's been around a long time. And he has seen people succumb to the daily struggles of their day to day lives so it's really nothing he is too surprised by.

He could see it from a mile away how anxious she was. How she seemed to be on pins and needles for the better part of her day. Her nervous (yet cute) habits when she is on the edge.

He made a point of keeping an eye on her wellbeing and easing her worries even just a little. It may not always seem like he is trying to keep her calm, as he tends to go roundabout ways of taking her mind off whatever has her so tightly wound.

His gestures grow more overtly affectionate once they are a couple, though still subtle in their execution and purpose.

When the lady finally breaks down one day and begins hyperventilating to the point she can no longer stand, he catches her before she hits the ground. Gathering her in his arms, he has her lay down on his chest, almost entirely encompassing her, resting his chin on the top of her head as he stroked her hair.

"Relax, Cara mia, don't work yourself up. Just breath, I got you. Brava, that's the way..."

He will always know exactly what to do and say to bring her back and to stop her fears and tears alike.

Because all he wants and all he lives for is for that beautiful, shining smile on her pretty face to stay where it should be.

Vincent

He had noticed that she was a bit of a fidgety person when he first met her. Especially the night she had stumbled upon the mansion, she had been practically white with fear.

He quickly makes sure to make her as comfortable as possible so she could relax more around him, simply because he liked to see her smile and at ease.

He considers painting very relaxing so it wouldn't be a surprise if he took her along with him to paint a landscape, whether for her to watch him or to take a break in their setting to let all her troubles float away.

He may seem like feelings somewhat goes over his head but he very quickly acclimatizes himself to the beauty's emotions and her mental wellbeing, because he wants to do right by her and be the support she needs.

When it all gets too much and she begins rapidly breathing, her eyes wide with terror and her entire body trembling, the painter is a little at a loss at first. He has never seen anyone have a panic attack like this before and he doesn't want to possibly make it worse.

But he definitely tries his best, despite his worry, he takes Y/N into his arms and buries her in his embrace, hiding her, protecting her from the world. He just wants her to know that she is safe and with him, nothing would do her any harm.

With her face buried in his chest, it isn't long until her senses are taken by sunshine and comfort and she is very much soothed, his immense relief.

"Are you OK now, scatje? Oh thank goodness...I was so worried..."

He gently caresses her face, clearing it of any tears.

He will attempt to learn a bit more about how to care for her when she is in that state in the future, because he just wants her to be alright, with no worries or fears tainting that gorgeous face.

Dazai

He could sense her stress before he even laid eyes on her and he was having none of it.

Even before they were a couple, he made it a priority to keep her stress free and calm. Whether that would be through making a fool of himself or teasing her, either way, he would take her mind off her anxieties.

When they are together officially, he becomes even more in tune to his love's emotions and her state of mind and knows how to approach her accordingly.

He seems extremely unpredictable therefore most of the residents worry for her sake, because the oddball's seemingly random antics might just break the mansion's princess and send her over the edge.

At least that's what they thought until the beauty crumbles one day and suffers her first panic attack and Dazai is the one to step up and soothe her.

He gently cradled her into his arms and takes her away to a quieter place where he sits with her in his lap, holding her head over his chest where his heart was, she could listen to it beating. He even rocks her back and forth ever so slowly, leaving her feeling like though she were floating peacefully.

"There there, don't fret, sweet. You're alright, you're with me now..."

He would gently whisper in her ear until her breathing calms and her terror decreases. Even when it happens, he continues to hold her for much longer, not to her dismay.

Nobody was expecting the clown to be so good with her and frankly are left somewhat bemused and scratching their heads.

Comte

One look at the lovely lady and the mansion's patriarch could tell she was a walking ball of anxiety.

And in his home, there would be no place for such things. So of course, he took it upon himself to make sure she never wanted for anything.

He shower her with not only material gifts, but open her to many experiences and the marvels of 19th century Paris. He would spoil her and lavish her and give her anything her little heart desires. She needn't even ask for it and it's hers.

Of course, that includes affection when they are together. She will never be lacking in sweet compliments or gentle kisses and words of reassurance. He keeps a closer eye on her than she may think and he notices when she may be a little tenser than normal.

When she has a panic attack, he takes her hand and cradles her soft cheek in his palm to make sure her beautiful eyes are focused solely on him.

"Take a deep breath mon coeur, nothing is going to hurt you, you have my word..."

To see her eyes widen with fear is more than he can take, so to see them calm and still like the sea after a storm is the biggest reward to him.

For him, to see her happy and relaxed is all he needs to be content.

🌸

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp comte #ikevamp headcanons #ikemen vampire headcanons #ikemen vampire scenarios

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marinerainbow · 1 year

Note

The sentence thing!! I wasn't sure if you wanted x reader or not but since that's my only specialty, I'm going with that 😅😅 Of course you don't have to do them all- I'm just giving you options! ^^ You don't even have to do any if you aren't inspired by them!!

Just sit in Stupid's lap, they said, there ain't no more seats.

"Hmmm, I wonder if my soul can be sewed back on... like Peter's shadow... " Psycho wonders allowed, looking meaningfully to you with those big eyes before they flicker over to your sewing box, "Its worth a try I think!!"

You didn't even need to look when your coworkers exclaimed that there was a zoot suit wearing wierdo outside with a 'Forgive me?' sign, you just continued on typing like normal; Greasy's going to have to try harder then that after the stunt he pulled.

"... damn," Wheezy huffed, on his knees and concentrated on the fabric sticking to your thighs, "'s much as I love this dress, Y/N, y' need to invest in some easier clothes to get out of."

You couldn't even think as you watched Smartass leave for the day- you just had the worst feeling, something in you screaming inside... screaming that he absolutely should not leave that day, that you shouldn't let him; That you should hug him harder while you can.

Thank you so much! These were so fun to do! Even if Wheezy's got me bad 🔫. I hope you like them! (Whether they're humanoid or weasel toons in these, you decide! ^^)

Also I kinda cheated with these- IT'S SO HARD JUST STICKING WITH ONE SENTENCE! So I tweaked so it's more like paragraphs instead- I STILL TRIED MAKING THEM ONE SENTENCE THOUGH... And Smartass and Greasy got one more paragraph 😅

You were completely gobsmacked when the others suggested that so casually- and Stupid didn't seem to mind it either, he just smiled like a doofus and waved to you from his spot on the couch!

Well... ok, if they insist and Stupid is ok with it... But Greasy better not make any jokes! You know where Smartass keeps the spray bottle!

You didn't even have to say anything when you approached him awkwardly, he just plucked you up and sat you down with him without a word, "Here 'ya go! We can share the bowl!"

You just nodded with a vague, "Uh-Huh..." as you process everything going on; it's not like anything dirty was happening, everyone else was invested in the movie, and it was just you that was anxious... Then again nobody else here had a big fat crush on this loveable dork like you did, so... Yeah.

It wasn't until Stupid offered you the movie snack, which you just now noticed was specifically (favorite movie snack), did you just smile back at him, accept the food, and focused on enjoying the moment with him.

What the- "How is that going to work!?" You think in panic, glancing between Psycho's soul and his... Body, laying on the floor right where he fell over, "Souls! They... Th-They aren't tangible like your body! I can just push my hand through you right now! How will the thread stay in place!? And sewing you on your body isn't the same as putting your soul back in your corpse!"

Oh God, why did you tell him that joke? Why did he laugh so hard at it!? It wasn't even that funny! It was stupid! That was exactly why you felt it was safe enough to tell it! Did that say more about you, your boyfriend's sense of humor, or the joke itself? How was Smartass going to react knowing you killed Psycho?? Why wasn't Psycho mad at you for killing him!?!? Oh God, what were you going to do? What if-

"Y/N! Y/N! Look!"

You blinked and looked back up towards Psycho, who, without breaking eye contact... pushed your cup off of the coffee table, proving that his soul- somehow- still was physical, so you could theoretically speaking, sew it onto his body...

"... Alright." You say before grabbing your sewing kit, ignoring his excited cheer and trying to keep calm, "But I'm not really steady right now, so it's your job to make absolutely sure you're aligned with your body, ok? I don't want to sew your hand to your foot or something..."

"Uh... Y/N? I don't think he's going away..." Your coworker added, an unnerved edge in her voice.

"Just ignore him. The more attention you give him, the worse he gets." Was all you had to say to that, speaking from your own experience with the... Well, it's in his name!

It wasn't until another one of your coworkers told you that the 'weirdo' seemed to be trying to come inside, did you groan and swivel your chair around towards the window, to see your 'casanova' desperately trying to open the door to your workplace... By pushing it instead of pulling it open, despite what the sign clearly stated... God he was an idiot sometimes.

"Ok, this has gone on far enough..." You mutter to yourself as you curtly stand up and storm over to the door, roughly pushing it open and causing Greasy to topple back and land on his behind... You choose to ignore your guilt and cross your arms, "You're not gaining my forgiveness this way, so leave."

The gangster looked wide-eyed and slack jawed at you- and the door, seems like he finally noticed the sign- before scrambling up and dusting himself off, "Y/N! Mi vida! Please, I just need to-"

You promptly close the door on him, ignoring how he looked like a betrayed house cat at the front door, and walk back to your desk; maybe you'd let him talk later, but you were too mad right now.

You couldn't stop the chuckle leaving your lips as you let your boyfriend suffer just a little bit longer with your dress, "I thought you liked a little challenge~"

"Tch, I wouldn't really describe it like that..." Was Wheezy's response, the smoke billowing from the corners of his lips as he glanced up at you, finally asking you- silently- for help after so long of fumbling with your dress.

Hm... "Nope. You gotta figure it out yourself, honey. Can't do the work for you after all."

He narrows his steely blue eyes at you, though you could see a hint of amusement behind them as he went back to work, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you planned this, princess."

"Now, why would you think tha-" You suddenly cut yourself off when you felt the air hit your now bare thighs, your knees suddenly feeling weak when you see the triumphant- and promise of some revenge after your little stunt- smirk on your partners' lips.

"... Wait!" You called out as you ran after him, just before he closed the front door of your new home, in the human side of Los Angeles, "Please, you can't go!"

The boss sighs, having already heard your worries the night before, "Y/N, this is the last job Doom needs us to do. We can't exactly skip out on him now-"

"Babe, please. You know how dangerous this is. Just stay home." You tried to plead with Smartass, your wide eyes staring straight into his own as you took his hand in yours; using every trick you knew to convince him to stay, "All it takes is a little slip near the dip, and you... You could..."

"Hey there, c'mon, you know we'll be fine." Where the others couldn't see, he offers you a tender, comforting smile as he brushes a stray hair strand behind your ear, "I ain't letting these maroons dip themselves on my watch. And if the judge tries to throw us under the bus, we'll be ready... You just stay here, and think about the new life waiting for us tomorrow."

... He's so confident that this plan of Doom's will work, that the two of you and his gang will have the freedom to do whatever you please once all the toons are gone- and, like the many times before, it's enough to convince yourself to ignore the growing dread you feel and watch Smartass and his team load up in the van before driving off.

It's alright, you'll see your boys tomorrow, just like Smarty promised... You have to...

I hope you liked this! I wanted to put in as much detail as I could without breaking the rules more than I already have. Hopefully I was successful XD

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accessories-not-included · 1 year

Text

I'm a Disabled woman. I write, "Disabled" with a capital "D" because it's something I claim as part of my identity. I claim it proudly too. This wasn't always the case.

I had a severe Spinal Cord Injury in November 2020. I had just finished a complete day of work as a senior ranch hand and was finishing up the lessons with two students before getting on the training horse that I needed to work with. Once I got on she became anxious and I couldn't calm her down in time before she was leaping in the air like a bronco. Eventually, I couldn't hand on any longer and I fell off. I landed on my neck and broke my head, neck, and back (Occipital bone, C1-C4, C5, and T11).

I was paralyzed.

I could no longer move my body and no one who rushed to my aid believed in the seriousness of my injury. Neither did the doctors at the ER who tried to stand me up and failed. Nor did the Neurosurgeons who had thought I would make a full recovery.

After 3 months of being in the hospital, my doctors released me unsure about the potential of my recovery. Over two years later my doctors have determined that I will never recover. Once I returned home my doctors expected that I would adjust back to my normal life.

I did what was expected of me. I arranged Home Health Nursing, and caregiving, and actively sought out mobility aid from insurance. I arranged all of my medical appointments by myself. I arranged all of the medical transportation to get to these appointments by myself. I took all of my medicine and followed medical advice like a good patient should. But I still never accepted my new Disabled identity.

This is because I knew how people viewed disability. Disability is pitied. It's awkward and mocked. It's something society turns a blind eye to and pretends that it could never happen to the masses. We are taught to never want such a reality for ourselves. So I chose to declare that I would get better and I would return to the functioning state that many medical professionals were so sure of. For the first year, I didn't want people to know about my injury. Outside of my immediate circle, I didn't allude to any shred of the truth about my disability to anyone. Until my mobility aids became a permanent fixture in my life because it became obvious based on further medical findings that I would never fully recover.

I realize now that my inner ableism still told me that Disabled was a bad word and something to be discouraged from "normal" conversation. Looking back now makes me want to vomit at how ableist-minded I was.

Two events changed everything for me. The first was discovering disabled communities in social media. Where people share stories and pride over their Disabled identity. The second was finding the Social Model of Disability. Understanding the Social Model vs. Medical Model of Disability allowed me to undo years of internalized ableism. It was like the moment after a breakup when you realize it wasn't you; it was them all along. I'd always thought that admitting my limitations was "bad". Because according to the Medical Model, somehow it was all my fault and I had become an inconvenience or a burden. Because let's face it most of the world is ableist and wasn't made to be accessible for Disabled people. The Social Model disagrees.

The Social Model states that yes, I have a medical condition. But it's the world that disables me. Of course, this doesn't mean that my condition doesn't come with inherent challenges. However, The societal challenges I face often disable me and others more than our actual disabilities.

On any of my medical appointments, if my transportation is set up and the facility has accessible ramps and automatic doors that open, I won’t feel as disabled as I would when I can't physically access a ramp or open the doors. Or the ramp is inaccessible because the bushes have overgrown and block my pathway up the ramp. Or if my doctor refuses to fill my medication because my transportation company wasn't able to get me to their office on time. I can't walk or drive but my wheelchair and the transportation company solve the problems. It's inaccessibility that's the disabling thing. Inaccessibility isn't just for wheelchair users either. Disabled people face a lack of access to adequate health care or a lack of access to communication like captions or braille. Think of how varied disabilities are. Yet most Disabled people have all come across people with weird at best, hateful at worst, attitudes. These things cause more hurt and frustration than our disabilities ever have.

If we had the same access to work, education, and social lives… If we were paid the same not less than our nondisabled counterparts, if we weren’t penalized for getting married, weren’t the subject of hate crimes, were fairly represented in the world of TV and media, if we all had access to decent health care, access to decent fare and livable social security, then maybe the word disabled wouldn’t even exist? That’s the thing, though. That’s where the Disabled community stems from. That’s the shared Disabled experience. Our conditions can be miles apart, yet we all understand without question what ableism is and the access barriers that come with it.

When we deny Disability, when we try to soften it somehow by using terms like “differently-abled” and “handicapable,” we’re erasing the acknowledgment of societal barriers that Disabled people face. It erases an identity, erasing a community of diverse, brilliant people. I remember answering the tired old question of “What’s wrong with you?” with a “Nothing I’m Disabled” only to be met with a well-meaning yet icky “You’re more abled than disabled". Considering how most shops or theme parks are inaccessible 50% of the time. I'd say this assumption is inaccurate.

I’ve found it’s often non-disabled people who are uncomfortable with the word “Disabled.” Considering how “disabled” is the subject of many an ableist slur to insult people, I’m not that surprised. Also, considering when disability is discussed in the mainstream, it’s often not Disabled voices; it’s usually someone who is disability adjacent — doctors or caregivers, etc. For example, “differently-abled” and “special needs” are commonplace terms among parents and teachers of Disabled kids. So I’m also not surprised that many nondisabled people don’t know or can’t imagine that many Disabled people identify with being Disabled and that a thriving, diverse Disabled community even exists at all.

Disabled people are not a monolith; the majority of my Disabled peers prefer identity-first language. When you slog for years undoing all the internalized ableism that told you that being disabled was a “bad thing,” you don’t want people to erase that. But of course, not everyone feels this way. Different disabilities and cultures can all impact whether we prefer identity or person-first language. And I would never question how someone chooses to identify themselves.

Amongst my peers, the majority of Disabled people are not uncomfortable with the word Disabled. Still, when you avoid it or try to somehow sugarcoat it, it shows us that you are uncomfortable with it, and surely that means that actually, you’re uncomfortable with us.

#wheelchair #disability #disability advocacy #disabled people #ableism #cpunk #disabilities #medical ableism #physically disabled #fibro #disabled #chronic disability #chronically ill #chronic illness #chronic pain #health blog #blog

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rawbins-undertale-blog · 3 years

Note

hey there again!!!

might i slide in this fine ask box with another HC request?

if yes, then could you please write some HCs where uf and ht sanses and papyruses (seperate of course) s/o gets put in a hospital for a lil bit? you can decide what happened to s/o. maybe a bad heatstroke cuz its summer or something (totally not because its a bad heatwave where im living rn haha nope). idk, i just crave angst or hurt/comfort again from my fave skeletons.

if you're not up for this, its totally fine!!

thank you, have a chill day/night B)

- 🌌 anon whos sunburns arent stinging that much anymore B)

*Evil cackling* OH-HO-HO, yOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MONSTER YOU HAVE UNLEASHED…… I am an evil being who feeds off of angst and pain, and you’ve given me ample opportunity to make some of that sweet sweet angst >:-)))))))))

I tried to keep it ambiguous as to what you’re in for, mostly because I want you to be able to imagine heatstroke and me to be able to think “hahahah stab stab”! ^^

Also!!! The healthcare system in some other countries is fucking insane (like??? You guys have to pay to not die??????) so I’ll be going off of what I know about the healthcare system in Sweden where it’s free. (At least I’m 99% sure it’s free, except for like. Small things. For example, my antidepressants. I had to buy those myself when I was still on them.)

UF + HT BROS WHEN S/O IS IN THE HOSPITAL

Red (Underfell Sans):

He’s panicking so so bad, he’s terrified. What if you die?

Curses out anybody who tries to keep him from you, including the poor nurse who’s just doing their job

Actually he just. curses in general. He’s just spewing cuss words to seem angry instead of scared because That’s Definitely Better

Most likely out of all four to physically lash out at… well, anybody (except you obviously) lol

Red hates hospitals too, to make matters worse. He doesn’t know why, but they make him feel uncomfortable.

If somebody did this to you purposely and he’s not allowed by your side, he’s going out to find the person and kick their ass during that time lol

If nobody did this to you, he’s pacing and cursing and jfc Red, you do realise there are other people here right enjdjdjdjsjsk

This fucker tries to pull a “pfff nah i was never worried” but like. Red. Darling. Light of my life. Stars in my sky. Center of my universe. Bitch of my heart. Everyone can see right through your “anger” and literally your shaking voice is so not convincing. Get a better poker face and voice.

With some prodding, admits that finehewasscaredyou’ddieandhethoughthisheartstoppedforasecondwhichisweird’causehedoes’tevenhaveaheartanywaysthat’sovernowsowhocares

(He’s not great at expressing himself but it’s still progress)

WILL be staying right by you as you recover. You’ve no choice. (You do actually, he respects you and will back off if you tell him to)

Edge (Underfell Papyrus):

Oh no. Oh no.

Edge is trying his very best not to show any emotions but he’s not good at it because like. It doesn’t take a genius to see that him screeching angrily at people and demanding for the doctors to fix this is actually him poorly masking his fear. Edge doesn’t have the best poker face lol

He’s so pissed if he can’t stay right next to you the whole time. You’re his S/O!! What kind of bullshit is this?!

If you do need to be left alone with doctors and such things, Edge will do one or two things depending on why you're in the hospital, how bad what you’re in for is and for how long he can’t see you.

If you’re here for something like heatstroke - AKA something not brought on by somebody else - he’ll call friends and such while pacing and somewhat frantically share your current condition.

However, if anybody did this to you; and you’re in bad shape… Well, even fucking Satan will cower at the brutality of Edge’s revenge.

When he’s allowed to be, he’s by your side and - depending on why you’re in and for what - he might nag you for being careless, reassure you it wasn’t your fault, reassure you in general, and/or just stay silent.

It’s barely noticeable, but just noticeable enough, that you can tell that he’s shaking.

All it takes is a “are you okay?” For him to break and confess how scared he was.

For a moment he was back Underground and it was horrible and he felt so powerless and he hates that. He’s so, so happy you’re okay and he- he swears he’ll be with you on your way to recovery. Please just never get hurt again.

Dusk (Horrortale Sans):

If you thought Red and Edge were scared, just know it’s nothing compared to the absolute terror he feels.

Dusk knows how fragile the human body can be. He’s seen horrific things happen to humans and monsters alike and he’s always hyper-aware of just how easy it’d be to kill and/or hurt you.

Logically, he knows you won’t die, he knows human anatomy well enough to know this is something you’ll bounce back from, but his instincts are going haywire and all he can think of are the mangled corpses back Underground. It doesn’t matter whether your condition has anything to do with broken limbs or not, because those pictures are what his mind is forcing onto him.

He refuses to leave your side. If he’s forced away from you by nurses/doctors/staff, he’ll protest but if he really can’t be by you for your safety, he’ll be anxiously hovering as close by as he possibly can. Whenever he’s allowed to touch you, he’s practically glued onto you.

If he’s sure it’s just the two of you, and you’re unconscious, he’ll probably cry.

He… He hates being reminded of your mortality. He hates the idea that any day could be your last. He doesn’t know what he’d do if you were gone.

(He’d dust, probably.)

If somebody else got your purposely hurt, he’s going to hunt them down after a while (after you’ve recovered enough for him to be comfortable leaving you alone for a bit). He’s not going to kill them, but he might rough them up a bit -- but most likely, he’ll just intimidate them and/or threaten them. (It’d be a different story if you were murdered.)

Whenever you’re conscious, he’ll do pretty much anything you say, so long as it won’t get you anymore hurt or risk stunting your recovery.

When you’re released from the hospital, he’ll be by your side nearly 24/7 because he hates the idea of you getting hurt again just because he wasn’t there to protect you.

Aster (Horrortale Papyrus):

Tries to look calm and composed, but he does about as poor of a job as his brother. He does better in that he doesn’t act out or get in the way of the nurses, but he’s also crying and shaking and sobbing and can’t stop.

You getting injured triggers him pretty badly. If you’re not bleeding, it’ll probably be “only” a bad anxiety attack, but if there’s any blood involved it’s escalating into a full-blown panic attack.

He’s a nurse himself, but I doubt he’d be allowed to work with the other nurses when it comes to you because of how unsteady he is. He’s not sure whether he’s thankful for it or not, because he doesn’t trust himself to do a good job but he also wants to be there for you. He trusts his colleagues, but it’s still nerve-wracking.

Just like the others, he’s glued to your side when he’s allowed to be. Very metaphorically. He’s the best of them all at giving you space, partially because he’s just more respectful lol and partially because he’s a nurse so he knows not to smother you with physical affection until you’re in the clear.

If somebody caused you to go into this state, he will just like Dusk go and find them. He won’t do anything physical, but he does intimidate the person very effectively. He’s a terrifying giant and he knows how to use that to his advantage.

When you’re fine again, he’ll be acting anxious and protective for a while. He feels really guilty about it (because he should be comforting you - plus, he’s a nurse! He’s seen way worse things on his job) but you’ll have to give him comfort. This whole thing didn’t inspire much positive feelings in him and it stressed him out a lot, it may honestly take more of a toll on him than it does you.

#imagines tag #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #undertale au #horrortale sans #y/n x sans #reader x sans #sans #sans x y/n #sans x reader #uf papyrus #y/n x papyrus #papyrus x y/n #reader x papyrus #papyrus #papyrus x reader #underfell #horrortale #🌌 anon

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ghost-like-pale · 3 years

Text

fuckin' perv

info: some gross guy thinks you're his, sapnap thinks otherwise. 》 female clothing/anatomy, they/them pronouns 》 irl + romantic 》 1.4k words

warnings: (sexual) harassment and assault, physical fighting, hurt/comfort, swearing

a/n: ty for the support on my last piece ♡ please enjoy

this blog it meant as a way of coping with trauma/mental issues, please don't report it. if you don't want to see what i write, please just block me.

——♤——

the evening sun shone an orange glow over the city. the chatter of the citizens rang through the streets past all the tall buildings, the cars and taxis making their way to their patron's destinations and the smell of your favorite restaurants wafted past the pavement. you've grown up in the city, getting used to it, yet never getting bored.

all of these memories made you think about your boyfriend; he was a real country boy - born and raised in texas and everything. it never failed to bring a smile to your face whenever he pointed out a particularly tall office or a pretty neon 'open' sign.

something he's never been very fond of is the people. specifically older men. they always had a certain look on their face as you walked by, making him swing an arm around your hip or slipping a hand in your pocket. he's always been quite protective over his lover. you didn't mind, though.

—

there wasn't much time to reminisce on your loverboy right now - you were going to see him today! your car broke the day before, so with great displeasure you had to take the bus. you hated public transport. everyone was so close to each other, the air was stuffy and there was always someone to make you horribly uncomfortable.

you pulled your mask further over your nose when you reached the stop. the small space was bordered by plastic panels and a poster for some music event, nothing of interest. the sound coming from your earbuds made your foot tap the the rhythm until the bus finally emerged from the passing traffic.

the ride was peaceful, which made you strangely wary - like a calm moment before the storm. you didn't mind the busride being quiet, but the feeling never shook.

after waving at the busdriver and thanking him kindly, you hopped off the vehicle onto the concrete pavement. three other people walked out with you; and old couple, one holding a walker and a 20-something year old man. the clicking of his tongue grew impatient as he got stuck behind the couple. after a moment the two elders managed to get off the bus safely and the man could finally get to his stop.

you didn't pay them any mind, you wanted to see sapnap as soon as possible. you kept walking at a brisk pace, growing more exited with every step. after passing and crossing a few streets you started to feel uneasy. feeling eyes drilling right through your back, you rummaged in your bag and pulled out a small handheld mirror and lip gloss. as you were applying your gloss you glanced behind you, scanning the faces you could catch from within you peripheral vision.

you were surprised to see the impatient man from the bus stop a few feet behind you. now realizing the situation, you hastily stuff everything back into your bag and start walking again, this time quicker than before. the stabbing look didn't shake, however.

you were getting more anxious as it got darker and the crowds became scarce. the destination was on the edge of the city, where there was nothing other than small stores and the occasional crappy apartment building. the pavement was easy to see if you looked down; no polished dress shoes, no sneakers, no stilettos, nothing. just the occasional group of chatting teenagers passing by or an overworked retail worker walking home.

with every frantic step forward he seemed to get one step closer. the sound of your feet tapping on the floor came to a halt as you arrived at a crosswalk with a red light. the man hummed an unorganized tune and stood behind you and casually waited for the light to turn green. everytime you'd move, so would he. the brief moment waiting in front of the crosswalk felt like centuries.

—

ding. the pole emitted a bright green and you sighed in relief. you rushed over to the other side of the street, making sure not to hit someone on the way there. as you were moving along you suddenly felt a hand on your back, slowly gliding down over your-

"what are you doing?!"

the panic in your voice didn't phase the man, though he did take his hand off your lower half and placed it on your neck instead. he slowly backed you into a small alleyway while muttering a response.

"calm down, cutie. it's just a hand."

you slapped his hand off yourself, losing the hope you had when you realized you were the only one with him on this block.

"let me go, you creep!"

this response to his 'compliment' didn't please him; he harshly grabbed you by the roots of your hair and pushed you against the cold brick wall of a corner store.

"listen here, bitch. you're gonna listen to me real good, and you're gonna obey everything i tell you, understood?"

you whimpered in pain, shutting your eyes and tears dipping at your chin.

"understood?!"

with another yank at your hair you mewled and nodded hastily. this seemed to satisfy him.

"good. now, let's have some fun, shall we?"

his hand rested on your thigh and gradually made its way up, under your skirt until it hit your underwear. the other was around your wrists, holding them both with his larger hands to the side of your head. his feet trapped yours, putting his weight on your toes so you wouldn't kick him.

"ngh-!"

"heh, can't handle stimulation, can you? guess this will be more fun than i imagined- ugh!"

the man was knocked back harshly, the hand that connected with his face quickly retreating to the body it belonged to. sapnap. the man felt his jaw, there was blood dripping off his lip.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO THEM?!"

sapnap boomed in anger at the man. before he could even think of an answer he was hit again by the same hand. sapnap was now right next to you, him seeing your trembling figure in his peripheral vision. once he was sure that gross excuse of a person was going to stay down he turned to you.

his entire body language changed; his arms turning from tense limbs into a welcoming place to rest in, his chest forming into a warm pillow to fall into, his eyes from a slaughtering rage into a kind and sympathetic expression. your tears were already flowing as you sank into his embrace. he engulfed you completely, shielding you from everything and anyone, soothing the intense fear and horror you just experienced.

"you're okay now, baby. i got you, i got you."

his tone was smooth like honey, the words pulling you further in his secure clutch. the screaming must've attracted a few people, because before you knew it your hug was interrupted by him gently loosening his grasp and lowering his voice.

"we should get home, we don't want this hellhole to become a exhibition. here-"

he unwrapped his arms and pulled his grey hoodie over his head and handed the clothing article to you.

"wear this, baby."

you accepted his hoodie and threw it over your upper body. when you were finished sapnap grabbed your hand and guided you out the alleyway and turning a corner. his car was parked a little further.

"i wanted to give you a nice ride through the outer city, but i think you'd rather be home, am i right?"

you nodded. your face was stung by the wet streaks on your face with the cooling air hitting your features. you eventually reached the car, sapnap sitting down into the driver's position and you plopping down onto the passenger seat.

—

the soft revving of the car's engine made for a nice background noise as you drove over to sapnap's house. you reached the destination quicker than expected. time didn't feel like it was passing at this point.

your legs refused to move, even when sapnap opened the door for you. sapnap, understanding the situation, picked you up bridal-style and carried you and your bag out the vehicle.

—

your body was weak, both from the late hours of the night and your vivid memory of what happened about half an hour ago. the mattress sank next to you as you snuggled further under the covers. sapnap radiated warmth, making you move your body towards him and latching onto him like a koala.

"rest, angel. we'll talk about it in the morning."

his voice reverberated in his chest, the vibrations bringing you comfort. his hand found a good spot on the top of your head, lightly pushing it into him.

"good night, (y/n)."

you hummed as a response before passing out. sapnapchuckled at your cute resting face.

"sleep well, baby. you deserve it."

—

thank you for reading. please don't be too harsh on me, heh

masterlist

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lavenderjacobs · 3 years

Text

fluff alphabet - Sapnap

➳ wc; 2,1K (she’s a long one lol) ➳ pronouns; gender neutral<3 ➳ song reccomendation; heart eyes - coin

A=Attractive (What do they find most attractive in a partner?)

nick’s an ass guy and you can’t convince me otherwise. he’s also just loves your thighs and your stomach. he loves how soft your skin is, and how good you smell. whenever he’s sad he just rests his head on your stomach while you tangle you fingers in his hair.

B=Best memory (Their favourite memory of you)

he cherishes your first kiss so much. he just has such a soft spot for that memory. the moment he finally found out you felt the same about him, the moment he finally found out what your lips against his felt like. it’s just something he had looked forward to for forever, and to him, it was perfect.

C=Cuddles (What type of cuddles do they like?)

sapnap is a WHORE for cuddles. if it where up to him, you two would just lay in bed all day, tangled in each other’s arms. after a long day, he just wants to hold his favourite person and fall asleep with them, so he just wraps his arms around your waist while he uses your chest as a pillow. but if he’s in a chatty mood, he’ll just talk your ears off, ranting about something he finds interesting, while you’re all snuggled up in the crook between his neck and shoulder.

D=Dirty mind (Do they have a dirty mind?)

I mean, come on. it’s sapnap. we all know he does. he gets *excited* very easily, which can sometimes get in the way when you two are just trying to cuddle. he just has such a soft spot for your body and has to have his way with you once certain ideas have entered his mind.

E=Effort (How much effort do they put in the relationship?)

nick would definitely try his best. honestly you don't care if his plans actually turn out the way he intented them to, it's the thought that counts. and nick knows that. but theres just something about you that makes him want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. so prepare yourself for fancy dates, him making you your favorite food, all that type of stuff.

F=First date (What was your first date together)

arcade date arcade date arcade date. sap is super competitive and I feel like he would thrive in an arcade. he would play it off like he was just trying to proof how good he was at the arcade games. but he'd just love to see how hard you would be trying to beat him. obviously he'd let you win a lot, and when he collected enough tickets, he would get you the biggest prize he could find.

G=Gentle (How gentle are they with you?)

it....depends???? lmao. nick CAN be super gentle with you, he’s pretty protective of you and would never want you to get hurt, so he’s definitely very careful not to do anything to hurt you. but sometimes his instinct just kinda takes over and well, he can get pretty rough.

H=Hands (Do they have nice hands?)

hmmm nick has like,,very manly hands,, if you know what i mean. i dont know, they're just so rough but yet so pretty??? and they're like really big compared to yours so when he holds ur hand, yours looks so tiny in his. and omg he won't shut up about it. "LOOK AT YOUR HANDS THEY'RE SO SMALL🥺"

I=Impression (What was their first impression?)

he just thought you were so ~cool~. like he immediately knew he wanted to be your friend. he was just so in awe of how funny, chill and charismatic you were. and it literally took two days for him to develop a crush on you. his friends would notice this right away and tease him about it so much omg.

J=Jealousy (Do they get jealous often? If so what do they do?)

YUP. nick gets jealous so easy yup yup yup. jealousy, protectiveness, possessiveness, you name it. you two would often get in fights about this, but most of the time you would just think it’s cute how riled up he gets. he doesn’t get mad at you (because you’re his precious little baby and can do no wrong in his eyes :D) but god help the souls of whoever tries to flirt with you, because they’ve got a hell of a storm coming.

K=Kisses (What type of kisses do they like/give?)

god nick’s such a passionate kisser. or at least he can be lol. he loves the way your face fits into his hands, and how soft your lips are. so he definitely is a fan of just some wholesome passionate kisses. but damn this man gets sloppy when he wants to. his lips constantly trails off to your jaw, neck and collar bones.

L=Love (Do they show their love?)

i feel like his love language would be like a mix between words of affection and physical touch??? he’s definitely very verbal with his love for you. he doesn’t shy away from saying i love you or letting you know how much he appreciates you in any other way.

M=Memory: (Their favourite memory in general?)

there are certain moments where nick just sits back, watches, and realizes how amazing his life is. and how grateful he is to have you. for example, you were playing minecraft on his pc, and your house kept getting blown up by creepers, he found it adorable how mad you got every time. he just watched you play, while sitting on his bed. after a while, you looked over at him, and caught him staring. “what?” you asked after letting out a soft chuckle. he felt like he was gonna explode from how much he loved you.

N=Nickname (What nicknames do they call you?)

i’m getting very strong “baby” and “doll” vibes from nick. he loves baby-ing you and smothering you with other loving nicknames. just any petnames that show how much he loves you he’s all for. he would also love calling you “pretty” or “beautiful” for obvious reasons.

O=Over (What happened the one time you ‘broke up’?)

nick HATES fighting with you, but once you two get into an argument he can get pretty carried away. he’s definitely the type to let his emotions get the upper hand on him. raising his voice a lot, stuff like that. but the second you leave to get some space he just breaks down. sliding down the wall and resting his face in his hands, just letting all the emotions out. he never meant to hurt you. when you came back to him, ready to be enclosed in his arms again, he had a hard time letting you back in. he just felt like he didn’t deserve you after he treated you like this. it took some convincing, but once you broke down his walls again, it was like he gave you all the love in his body. just smothering you with “i’m sorry”s and kisses.

P=Parents (What would they be like as a parent?)

dilfnap dilfnap dilfnap omg he’d be such a good dad. like just very caring and loving, but also strict and stern when he needs to be. he’d constantly be telling stories to the kids about the absurd adventures him and his friends would get into, and omg the dad jokes he’d make. idk maybe it’s my daddy issues but dad sapnap lives in my mind rent free.

Q=Quirk (Something special about them)

he loves holding your hand. especially in public. if you’re in a crowded space, he just holds onto you very tightly as not to lose you. or if you two are just going on a walk together, his hands would just feel so warm and soft around yours. and omg he loves it when his hands are in his pockets, and you put your hands in there with him, and intertwine your fingers with his. hmmm he gets so soft when you do that.

R=Romantic (How romantic are they?)

i- uh- I MEAN HE WOULD TRY he really would, and again, that’s all that matters. I feel like he would be the type to try to prepare a whole surprise dinner, he would cook all the food himself, he would set the table all cute, with candles and shit, but just completely ruin the surprise by accidentally giving it all away by saying something or just behaving very obviously suspicious.

S=Sad (What are they like when they’re sad?)

he just gets really quiet. he would never want to bother you or be a pain in the ass by complaining to you. but obviously you notice when something is wrong with ur bby boy. a sentence like “are you okay?” or “what’s wrong?” would immediately send him over the edge, burying his face in your chest, trying his best to supress his sobs. but he eventually calms down, and once he does, he’s able to just rant to you about whatever is bothering him.

T=Together (What are they like when you’re together?)

i feel like it would really depend on his mood, like he could be either SUPER chill, just wanting to savour the time you two had together. or he could be really hyper, constantly talking, wanting to do all kinds of activities with you. he’d be the literal definition of :D

U=Understanding (How understanding and empathetic are they?)

very. i just get such empathetic vibes from him. he’s such a good listener and he’ll just listen to you talk whenever you have something to be upset about. he never invalidates your feelings and omg he’d give the best advice.

V=Value (What do they value most about the relationship?)

he loves that he can 100% be his self around you. there’s no part of his personality that he feels like he has to hide, or tone down, whenever he’s with you. you also aspire him to be his best self, he just wants to be the best boyfriend in the world. all his friends have noticed this too, you bring out the best in him.

W=Wedding (Would they want marriage? If so what would they like?)

eh. if you’re a person who really values marriage, he’d 100% do it for you. but it’s not like he HAS to. he gets a bit scared by the idea of this whole big event, where everything is about you two, he would way rather celebrate the love you two have in the comfort of your own home, just the two of you. the one thing he would love about a wedding, would be seeing you all dolled up, walking down the aisle, omg he’d be the proudest man ever to be able to call you his.

X=X-Ray (How well can they read you?)

the SECOND you start to feel sad or depressed in any way, nick notices immediately. he knows you better than anybody else, and he knows exactly what to do to cheer you up. it’s like his superpower. if you’re feeling anxious he’ll just wrap his arms around you really tightly, holding on to you until you calm down. and when you’re sad, and in need for something to cheer you up, he’ll take you outside for a walk in the park, or he’ll just sit in bed with you, watching your favourite show.

Y=Yuck (What they would never want in a partner)

he hates when you flirt with his friend, even when you’re very obviously joking. his jealous ass can’t deal with that lmao. he also gets super pissed when his friends make flirtatious jokes towards you, they know how much it gets on his nerves and that’s really the only reason they do it. but omg he gets so pissed when it happens.

Zzz (How do they sleep around you?)

nick would be the cutest sleeper ever omg. he doesn’t like to admit it, but he loves being little spoon. he loves resting his head on your chest, while you play with his hair, patiently waiting for him to fall asleep.

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conscious-love · 2 years

Note

What's the greatest lesson life has taught you?

(Kinda going through a hard time rn)

Oh wow 😄 So many things come to mind, it’s going to be hard to narrow it down. I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time. I don’t know how late I am in answering this but I hope you can benefit from my response.

I think the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that mindfulness is the key to solving almost every problem in existence, if not all of them.

Don’t fall into thinking traps — be mindful of your thoughts and question them.

Someone says something that upsets you? Stop and assess. Is it about you or them? Hint: it’s always about them. Are they having a bad day? Is there some truth to what they’re saying? Is there a lesson I can learn from what they said, or the fact that they said it? Why am I upset? Am I upset because what they said is true and I don’t like it? Am I upset because what they said is mean and made me feel like they don’t care? Is this person important to me, someone I want to keep in my life? If so, I want to approach this in a healthy way. How am I feeling and what am I thinking, and what do I want to say to them? What request do I want to make? What boundary do I need to set? How can I soothe myself in this moment?

Get fired from a job or someone breaks up with you? Stop and assess. How do you feel? What exactly happened? What was your role and what was outside of your control? Reframe so that you’re not shouldering a disproportionate amount of the blame. What changes can you make to avoid making those mistakes again? Is this the end of the world? What core wounds are being triggered by this? And how much of your current response is actually derived from the current situation, and how much is from those wounds? Focus on what you can do in this moment only.

Tempted to eat junk food? Stop and assess. Are you just hungry, therefore your body is seeking the easiest, most calorie, carb and sugar dense option for the quickest jolt of energy? Are you emotional? Why? What can you do instead?

Tempted to buy something impulsively? Tune in. What’s going on? What do you feel you’re lacking that would give you true sustenance, rather than the fleeting half-pleasure-half-anxiety you’d get from giving in to your vices?

Feeling depressed or anxious? Slow down and get into your body. Slow your breathing so your parasympathetic nervous system can take over and help you calm down. Elongate your exhale. How are your thoughts manifesting in your body? Where do you feel the anxiety? What does the depression feel like? Loneliness, sadness, hopelessness, fatigue, numbness? What beliefs are contributing? What’s making you feel ashamed instead of feeling compassion for yourself? Accept your current emotional, mental and physical state as the reality of this moment. Now that you’re not trying to fight it with shame and worrying and repression, you can figure out what you need to feel better (short-term and long-term). Your depression and anxiety might not go away, but with mindfulness, they cease to be a “problem.” They’re just a thing that’s happening, which won’t last (although it will likely return), and which we know how to cope with — so it’s not a problem, because we already have the solutions.

When we slow down and pay attention, problems get smaller because we realize we’ve blown them out of proportion. They become less overwhelming because we have more awareness, and in turn, we feel more competent and hopeful. We become less anxious because rather than repressing (which compounds the problem), we process what we’re feeling and thinking; we tune into our inner world and give our thoughts and emotions the attention they need.

We can’t cope with the past, and we can’t cope with the future. We can only cope in the present moment. When we think about the future, we do it now. When we think about the past, we do it now. Ruminating or worrying is a waste of time and it’s illogical. It’s hallucinating. It clouds our vision of the present and fills up our head with unhelpful thoughts which hinder our ability to make good decisions. It makes everything seem way more complicated than it is. All there is is now. What can I learn now? What can I do now? What can I accept now?

In 2016, I read The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle, and it brought about one of the most pivotal shifts of my life. When someone asks me to recommend a book, this is the first one I mention. For years, I used to carry a physical copy everywhere I went. Nowadays I have the e-book and audiobook if ever I want to read it on the go. I’ve read it so many times I don’t even really need to read it again, because what I learned cracked me wide open and reframed my world-view so dramatically it could never return to the way it was. I read it again every now and then because other than practicing mindfulness and formally meditating, reading his words anchor me into the present moment more deeply than anything else. And when I start to get into autopilot (like during a depressive episode), reading his words reminds me to pay attention. I recommend reading The Power Of Now first but he has other great ones as well. He also has Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, Spotify, and likely other socials. I’ll tag this #Eckhart Tolle and you can click that to see quotes of his I’ve shared. His work changed my life and I keep sharing it in hopes that others’ lives can be changed as well. There are countless other resources outside of Eckhart Tolle and I highly recommend those as well.

This is probably the greatest lesson I ever learned, and continue to learn more about every day. And mindfulness is something I try to practice as much as I can (which is as often as I can remember to remember ☺️).

Mindfulness is so, so, so crucial for our wellbeing as individuals, for humanity, animals, nature — for everything.

Thanks for the question! 😌 Feel free to reach out any time, and keep seeking knowledge and personal growth as you are now.

Take care 💙

~ Bella ✨

#ask bella love #mindfulness #Eckhart Tolle #The Power Of Now

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that-was-anticlimactic · 3 years

Text

reki with tourette’s headcanons

[ID: it’s reki from sk8 the infinity wearing a yellow sweatshirt with his hands on his hips. he’s wearing a red bracelet on his right wrist and he’s smiling. behind him is a touette’s syndrome awareness flag. end ID.]

so. @zukkaclawthorne got me hooked on reki with ts and now imma post headcanons i wrote oops

okay so first—that little skateboard he plays with??? stim toy, actually.

he likes the sound the wheels make—that whirrrrrr sound. it makes his arms flappy :)

he also finds the rolling motion soothing and relaxing and it always calms him down—it takes his mind to a happy place

he rocks back and forth and shakes his legs a lot. that also contributed to why he was terrible at skateboarding the first few times he tried—because his body would be like “time to rock back and forth!” and it would mess him up

neck twitches for days :)

no but for real—neck twitching is one of his worst tics because sometimes—if he’s in a bad mood or if he’s sad or anxious—it gets harsh and violent and really strains his neck.

so, langa gives him neck / upper back neck massages to help with the pain

he went through this phase for a couple of months where whenever his neck would twitch, he would snap his fingers two times.

he has a lot of hand tics which can be stressful when he makes skateboards because sometimes he’ll be in the groove and then suddenly he’ll mess something up

speaking of messing things up, he has a tendency to dig the bottom of his palm into his forehead whenever he feels like he does something stupid—he doesn’t even realize it until someone points it out.

he feels like even more of a failure of a skater because of his tics because they can hold him back and make the course more dangerous.

if his blinking tic resurfaces, sometimes the blinking gets so intense that he literally cannot see for anywhere between five seconds and a minute depending on how bad it is. that is how he got some of his worst scars.

or sometimes he’ll make a really aggressive hand motion and it throws him off balance on the skateboard due to the intensity

anyways back to hand tics: he points a lot and does symbols like the “rock on” sign or certain numbers (for some reason, the most common number for reki to throw up is four—though sometimes he throws up whatever number he hears) he also grunts a lot as a tic so he sounds angry even when he is’t.

sometimes, his hand tics really hurt and his hands become shaky and his fingers start to feel the way his heart feels when he’s anxious. langa helps in different ways—he holds reki’s hand, he gives him something to fidget with to try to distract him (sometimes it’s his own fingers—he’ll just set them in reki’s palm and be like “let me carry some of the pain”—no, reki didn’t totally cry when he said that what)

sometimes, reki sticks pencils in his ears. his teachers have been trying to stop it since he was young, but he always did it anyways—he couldn’t help it.

his hair is also long enough for him to chew on. yes, he chews on the tips of his hair because i say so. sometimes, to stop him from doing that (and from swallowing his own hair), langa will try to make him laugh so it falls out of his mouth and then he’ll scoot close and tuck the hair behind reki’s ears… once they start dating, he kisses him too. but also that’s one reason why he wears the headband—to try to keep his hair out of his face so he doesn’t chew on it.

reki’s favorite form of stimming (other than his skateboard toy, that is) is stress balls. he’s got a couple of stress balls in his room or backpack—even one with string attached so he can carry it around his wrist. he just really likes the texture of them.

after his second race against adam, cherry and joe were so proud of him and also impressed and worried dads that they bought reki a big stress ball, like, the size of a stuffed animal. it was a blue cat. he uses it all the time.

speaking of fricking adam, we all know he would so use reki’s tics against him during a race. like, when he grabbed his wrist and “danced” with him, he would mock reki’s tics or say creepy things about how his verbal tics are music and his motor tics are him dancing along and it makes him so uncomfortable and like even more shaken

oh and adam purposely does things to trigger his tics, like when i mentioned that number tic??? yeah, adam will purposefully say numbers to make reki do the hand gestures

one time, reki wanted to tell langa that he loved him but got nervous so he signed it in sign language instead. but, since reki’s tics are occasionally hand gestures, langa thought that it was just a tic and mentally was like “i wish that was for me…” and reki is like “i wish he knew it was real…” and joe, cherry, shadow, and miya are all facepalming and groaning at their obliviousness

reki prefers taking hand written notes to electronic notes because he draws / doodles to stim and he can’t really doodle well on a laptop. so, he’ll doodle in class all of the time

sometimes, his pictures / notes turn out pretty bad / illegible depending on how bad his tics are, but that doesn’t phase reki. it used to when he was younger, but it doesn’t bother him at all anymore. in fact, he thinks it adds personality

during class, he’ll draw pictures for langa and slid them on his desk. they’re usually really random things like the teacher or the back of someone’s head or squiggly lines or whatever he sees outside. more often than not, it’s abstract art. langa loves these drawings and he keeps them all on his desk in his room.

reki also started drawing pictures for the rest of the sk8 crew and gives it to them during races. when he gave everyone their first doodle, he was like “i’m not the best artist ever and sometimes my tics mess up the doodle, but i thought of you while i drew it so i want you to have it”

(shadow didn’t shed a couple of unwilling dad tears when he got home that night what)

anyways, they all keep them. every single one. miya puts them in their school binder so they don’t feel as alone / isolated at school.

although shadow and miya give reki a lot of crap / teasing about not being as good as everyone else, the second they hear anyone comment about “the weird red head that makes noises” and comments on his ts in a negative way, oh, they will stop you.

sometimes, reki whispers words he hears under his breath as a tic (echolalia, baby~) and when he overhears people saying stuff about “that redhead that always follows snow around” or about him not being good enough or how he’s an idiot to face adam, he ends up muttering that too. and it’s not a one and done kind of thing—like. he does it for days. it makes him so upset (and i already hc him, with depression so it just makes it worse)

having tics while having injuries is not a good combination—especially if it’s with a broken arm. the crew made sure to keep an eye of reki’s comfort / pain level after adam broke his arm and literally tried to kill him in their final race. joe let reki squeeze his hand whenever he felt the urge to tic and cherry would ask him how much pain he was in after he ticced and depending on how bad it would be, would make joe or shadow fetch a heating pad or an icepack for reki.

joe also taught reki about the magical thing called physical therapy tape and helped him put it on his shoulders, neck, and back one time. it was his idea to use the tape on reki’s fingers when he was injured to make him feel better (because it literally makes my fingers feel better)

also langa kisses each of reki’s fingers and knuckles, slowly and tenderly, soft so he doesn’t hurt him or trigger a tic. a way of showing that he loves him not despite his tics, but even with his tics and that he loves him and his tics.

cherry isn’t always the best at showing he cares, so he’ll wear a ts ribbon sometimes in a way to show support (and it makes reki beam)

shadow once gave reki a flower shaped stress ball because there were “extra at work” (not true—he went looking for one)

miya didn’t really know much about ts at first and asked why reki made those noises and made weird movements all the time and langa explained so then that night when miya got home, they did research on ts so they could understand it better. later, they told reki that whenever they called him a slime, they meant it purely about skateboarding and it had nothing to do with his tics—even that his tics didn’t make him less of a skater

all his life, reki had been the different one: the one no one wanted on the team because sometimes his tics messed him up, the one who was asked to leave classes during tests because his tics were too distracting and made him take the test in the hall, when sometimes he’d get too overwhelmed by how close people were in the halls or at races and would have panic attacks, how he rocked in his chair and adjusted his position seventeen times an hour and sat on his feet while the other kids didn’t, how he shook his legs more aggressively than others, how he couldn’t skate as well as everyone else because of his tics and because he wasn’t good enough

which is probably part of the depression that weighs on his shoulders

the first time reki had a panic attack during a race due to closeness and overstimulating noises (and this is the first one after the sk8 crew happened) langa was racing and wasn’t there to help, so shadow kind of panicked and like picked him up under the armpits and carried him away from the crowd since reki could barely process anything other than panic and the sound and feeling of static and they sat in shadow’s car for the rest of the race and once he felt better, he gave shadow a huge hug and shadow returned it.

one time it happened and cherry was nearby and he saw the signs before it got bad (remembered from the previous time / his own experiences) and helped talk reki down before it got bad (he has a soothing voice)

usually, though, when / if it happens (because reki usually feels safe there), langa is the one who helps

but it got so much worse after skating against adam the first time because he no longer felt safe and suddenly everyone cheering adam’s name even after witnessing what he did to reki was too much but langa was racing adam so langa wasn’t there and this time it was joe who kneeled in front of him and started talking just loud enough for reki to hear and he was like “you’re safe—we won’t let anyone hurt you. we won’t let him hurt langa. you’re safe. i’m here and so is cherry and shadow and miya and langa will be waiting for you at the end of the race…”

it happens again at the next race he goes to—and this time it’s miya who notices and they tug on langa’s sleeve and is like “i think you need to take reki somewhere else” and langa does :)

okay i’ll end on a positive ts note or two—langa asks reki to add the ts ribbon to the design on his skateboard

shadow finds chewelry at the store one day when he’s shopping and buys it for reki (and gets a matching one for langa!)

once reki came back after his mental health break, the first thing joe said to him was, and this is nonnegotiable “reki! i missed you and your tics!”

miya once overheard reki muttering to himself about his annoying tics were, so they intervened and was like “your tics aren’t annoying. they’re you and anyone who think s they’re annoying is an idiot”

and for the first time in his life, reki doesn’t feel alone and isolated and so different from everyone (at least, he’s working on that last one) and he’s finally found a group of people who want him on their team and a boyfriend who always supports him and makes him feel less isolated, tics and all <3

i uhh I have a lot of feelings,,,

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letsloveimagines · 3 years

Photo

Title: Crush II

Pairing: Corpse Husband x fem!youtuber!reader

Collab with: @the-winter-sxldier-posts

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: You HAVE to write a part 2 of crush where they meet! It would be so cuteeee!

Word Count: 1667

Warnings: a little swearing but mostly fluff

Note: The images doesn’t belong to me, all the credits go to the respective creators. I only made the collage. Also, I will not make anything to make Corpse uncomfortable, if he ends saying he doesn’t like fanfiction about him, I will delete this.

Part I: Here

♦⋅☆⋅♦ Y/N pressed her left foot on the clutch pedal, turned the car key and heard the engine roaring loudly afterwards. She added the address on the GPS, looked at herself in the mirror for a moment taking a deep breath, trying to stay calm and focused. She put the car in first gear, and started driving from her apartment complex's private parking lot to the main road.

As her small and comfortable car drove through the streets of Los Angeles, the girl kept listening to what was on the radio. Every now and then, her stomach would churned with nervousness but she would take a deep breath and smile uncertainly to herself, trying to convince herself that everything would be okay.

Fed up with the podcast she was listening to, turned her car's Bluetooth on when she had to stop at a red traffic light, she switched to her current favorite Playlist.

Distracted by the music and humming softly accompanied by Rihanna's voice, she put the first gear back on, moving the car forward when the traffic light turned green, quickly shifting to the second and then putting on the third.

Her mind was racing, however.

Life had gone well since that specific day... since Y/N and Corpse confessed their feelings to each other. Their mutual friends that they played with knew the truth and were extremely happy for them, which was wonderful and soothing. Outside of them, no one else knew what had happened.

Corpse and Y/N talked every day, stayed on the phone every night until one of them fell asleep unfortunately, the girl always fell asleep first, and saw each other through FaceTime whenever they could.

In other words, the two could say that they were basically dating already... Even though there was never a real question. But perhaps that was about to change, for the day had finally come when they would meet physically.

A sound of receiving a phone call invaded the car and interrupted her thoughts. With a smile on her lips already knowing who was, Y/N clicked on the answer button and waited while entering a roundabout.

"Hey." That characteristic deep voice was heard.

"Hey you." She replied while looking briefly at his name written on the car screen.

"Are you on your way yet?"

"Yes, I just left the house. I'll be there In about two hours, depending on the traffic today."

Corpse cleared his throat and Y/N almost visualized him playing with his rings, and messing with his dark curly hair. "Are you sure you haven't forgotten anything?"

"Well, I hope not. I’ve had my bags packed for two days, but I think I have everything that is necessary with me. If not, there is no problem really." She replied.

"This is going to... This is really going to happen isn't it?" She could hear the smile in the man's voice.

"Yes, Corpse, it is. We will finally meet in person."

"I can't wait to see you." He whispered.

Y/N felt her cheeks warm for a moment, and she knew that if she looked in the mirror she would see a dark pink tone on her skin. She bit her lower lip in an attempt to stop the huge smile. "I can't wait to give you a big hug and tell you everything face to face."

Corpse laughed deeply, his tone was warm and full of emotion. "I know... I am anxious, and I am not going to lie about it. I'm super nervous. My hands are shaking so much that I don't even know how I haven't dropped my phone yet."

"Oh, Corpse..." Y/N whispered with a heavy heart, but was attentive to the road at the intersection where she was. "There is no reason to be nervous, it's just me. It’s just us."

"I know..." He sighed softly. After a few minutes without speaking, enjoying the comfortable silence between the two and listening to the sound of the Y/N’s car motor, he continued. "Well..." Corpse cleared his throat. "I will let you concentrate on your driving. Be careful and pay attention to the road."

"I will, I’ll see you later."

"Bye."

"Bye, Corpse."

The call ended but the anxiety and nervousness did not. However, only the sound of his voice and the small conversation they had was able to make Y/N smile all the way to San Diego.

♦⋅☆⋅♦

Y/N pressed the turn signal, the green arrow flashing to the right, and parked the car in an empty parking space in front of the building. The woman's neutral and almost robotic voice came from the GPS saying: You have reached your destination. Shaking in her place, the girl put on the brake and turned off the car, taking a deep breath trying to calm herself once more.

It was now or never... Should she send him a message to let him know she was already there? Should she just knock on the door? Her hands were shaking so much, and her heart was beating so hard and so fast that it almost hurt.

She sat in the driver's seat for a few more minutes, so nervous she might pass out. It is better to just go there, she thought, the longer it takes the more nervous I will become.

She took a deep breath, unbuckled her seat belt, removed the keys from the ignition and quickly got out of the car, closing the door behind her, and going to the trunk to remove the pink suitcase. When it was on the floor next to her, she closed the trunk and locked the car safely, looking at the intimidating building in front of her.

Without further ado she approached it, opened the entrance door, climbed the stairs with some difficulty to his floor, and trembling, she shyly knocked on the door with her knuckles.

That door was opened so fast that it even scared her.

They were both looking at each other almost stunned... Finally they were there, in person, just a meter away and with a spine of the door separating them. Corpse was even more beautiful in person, and Y/N found herself lost in his dark eyes for a while.

"Hi..." She said sheepishly.

Corpse looked at her examining her from head to toe as if he couldn't believe she was real. Finally he smiled so beautifully that she almost forgot to breathe. "Hi." He replied.

Y/N dragged the suitcase a little closer to her, uncertain how to proceed. She didn't have time to think, however, as Corpse seemed to get tired of the waiting and shyness between them, crossed the space between the two and took her in his arms. His body was warm against hers, extremely hot, and his embrace was loving and passionate. Y/N inhaled his attractive scent - a mixture of soap, men's perfume and something else - and Corpse laughed through her hair.

"You’re here!" He exclaimed loudly, laughing deeply, spinning in circles with her still in his arms laughing out loud like he was.

When the two were inside the apartment, Corpse released her and pulled her suitcase inside as well, closing the door to prevent any curious neighbor from trying to see what was going on.

The two of them stayed there with smiles so big on their faces that their cheeks hurt… But it was definitely a good pain.

"I don't even know what to say..." Y / N confessed, practically shaking with excitement in her place.

Corpse smiled again, taking her hand timidly and gently, caressing her skin and interlacing their fingers and pulling her closer to him. "Me neither."

They were silent just enjoying the moment, and enjoying the fact that they were there, together... that it was real. How many times had they imagined this? How many times had they dreamed of that moment?

Corpse lowered his head slightly looking into her eyes intently, but his brows furrowed as if something troubling was going through his mind. "I…"

"What is it?" Y/N questioned worriedly.

Corpse made a shy expression. “Can I… Can I kiss you?”

Y/N's cheeks caught fire but her smile was so big, and she was so happy that she felt like she was going to explode at any moment. "Yes! Yes, of course you can…"

The young man approached, with his hand on Y/N's waist to pull her closer and the other one climbing up her arm, her shoulder, then her neck and resting on her burning cheek, where he was caressing the hot skin. Their fresh, labored and nervous breaths mingled, closing the distance until their lips touched, finally in what felt like an explosion of fireworks or an explosion of magic. Corpse's lips were soft and warm against hers, kissing her tenderly, as he brought their bodies together even more almost as if he was afraid that she would disappear at any moment.

The kiss was a mixture of lips and tongues, longing, passion and mostly love. It ended faster than they would have liked, but they stayed in each other's arms, sharing passionate smiles.

After a moment, Corpse whispered, "I still think this is a dream, and that I'm going to wake up after the normal three fucking hours that I can barely sleep."

Y/N laughed with her heart leaping and butterflies in her belly, playing with the laces of the black sweatshirt he had worn that day, wrapping it around her fingers and looking him in the dark eyes. "Me too, I've pinched myself hundreds of times today just to make sure this was real. But if this is a dream, I don't want to wake up anymore."

"I will punch the face of anyone who tries to wake me up." Corpse joked making Y/N let out the laugh he liked so much to hear.

"I love you." She whispered dizzy with emotion.

"That’s good, because I love you too."

♦⋅☆⋅♦

Tag List: @breathygasps @unicornblood4ever @mintchip17 @jay-jay-love

#corpse husband #Corpse Husband Fandom #Corpse Fandom #corpse fanfiction #fanfiction #imagines #one-shot #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband oneshot #corpse x reader #corpse x y/n #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x female reader

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siriusblackmakesmesoft · 3 years

Text

Soft

Sirius Black X Ravenclaw!Reader

Warnings: Very fluffy, use of she/her pronouns, a few physical descriptions of height and hair, reader being a childhood friend of Sirius and Regulus, use of the nickname bunny, sad Sirius :(

Word Count: 2592

enjoy :)

Sirius was having a bad day.

Usually he was able to move through them with little friction, a little extra quidditch practice, a little harsher joke at Peter's expense. Nothing too bad, just getting it out in little ways all day long, and by the end of the day he felt better. But today started bad. He had a nightmare, and if you asked him he would say that it was less of a nightmare and more of a flashback. He woke up sweaty and sticky and crying. Gasping for air, hands waving frantically towards his sheets and his heart trying to find proof of it being over. The sun wasn't up yet, and even though his brain told him to wake someone up, he just took a cold shower. Put on his favorite sweater and went to the gryffindor common room. The red chair next to the fireplace was calling his name.

On top of not sleeping well, he got a letter dropped in his tea this morning. He knew from the nameless front of the envelope that it was from his mother. The green ink inside only furthered his bad mood. Remus' look of sympathy was met with a tight lipped semblance of a smile, and when James pat him on the back he felt the urge to hurl. Pity is really the last thing Sirius wanted, ever, but right now he couldn't stand it. Mumbling some excuse to leave, he went to the black lake. Alone and quiet, that's what he needed.

Of course, with his luck, it didn't last long. His mood hadn't improved in the half hour he was alone, and he was sure being by himself much longer wouldn't have helped either, but the presence of another person irked him. Looking up and seeing his brother lessened the annoyance, he was positive James venting about Lily would make everything worse.

"I see mummy dearest wrote to you as well?"

The scoff Sirius let out truly was unintentional. He had been trying to reconnect with Regulus, and while it wasn't his idea, he really was trying. Having someone who knew, lived the very same thing that made his day start so awfully, was refreshing. He didn't have to act like it wasn't so bad, especially on days where he needed someone to say that it was.

"Only called me a disgrace 4 times this time around, didn't even mention how I was a traitor."

This time it was Regulus responding, a soft hum of acknowledgement, and a deep sigh.

"I win then, she only said I was a disgrace once."

It got Sirius to chuckle, a deep chuckle that was laced with sadness. The silence that followed was comforting, no expectation for conversation was something Sirius rarely experienced, and he was glad it was happening with Regulus. Laying back so he was flat against the ground, Sirius heaved a large sigh, dramatically flopping his arm over his face. Regulus stretched, tapped his brother's knee three times, and stood up to leave.

"You should visit (Y/N) soon, she wasn't at breakfast."

Sirius' thoughts were flooded with the girl, instantly raising his bad mood. He ignored the part of him that got annoyed when Regulus spoke of her, as if they were close. While she had always been in the lives of the Black boys, she held a tighter grip on Sirius. And he knew, everyone knew. He relished in it.

Regulus started walking away in the middle of his thoughts, and over his shoulder yelled, "If you see her, tell her I say hello!"

The rest of Sirius' day went quite similarly to his morning. He failed a herbology quiz, got a detention in potions, made James upset when he spoke up about his obsession with Lily ("If she said never in a million years, prongs, that usually means she wants you to leave her alone!") and while he felt bad when James face dropped and Peter shook his head, Remus saved him by putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder and said quietly, "It's okay, he knows how your days been."

By the time dinner had come about, Sirius was ready to be eaten by the squid in the black lake. He stopped the facade of his typical self just after his talk with Regulus, and while he knew he should eat, he just pushed his food around his plate. He tried listening to Peter's story, and the summary of the most recently finished book Remus was telling, but his eyes were blank, and so was his head.

He left dinner without a word, going to walk through the halls until he felt good enough to sleep. His feet led him to the Ravenclaw tower door, getting nervous as he approached the eagle knocker. He let his breath out when the riddle was easy enough to solve (to be fair, (Y/N) had once said the eagle adjusted what riddle was used based on the immediate judging of the intelligence of the student, and while Sirius didn't think he was stupid, he appreciated a simple ego boost in the form of an easily solvable riddle.) and he walked in, dragging his feet to the stairs.

The Ravenclaw tower was structured differently than the Gryffindor, but the stairs to the girls dorm were the same. After muttering the simple charm to make sure the stairs didn't slide him straight back down, he walked down the hall to the head girls room, hoping she was there.

When his knock was met with silence he walked in anyways. Thinking maybe even her bed would help him in this moment. And while as desperate as it sounded, he knew she wouldn't mind. Opening the door he was met with the blissful sound of the shower, the light under the door and the light humming coming from the ensuite being the best thing his senses have experienced all day. Sirius walked slowly to the bathroom door, stopping to look at himself in the mirror on her dresser. He looked as tired as he felt, the remnants of a bad day hanging so obviously off of him. A crooked tie, messier than usual hair, dark circles under his eyes. He looked like the physical representation of a bad day.

When he got to the door of the bathroom he paused. This wasn't an unfamiliar routine, yet in this very moment he was anxious. Doubt flooded him. Scared of a rejection that wasn't going to approach him. Opening the door was relieving. Like a thousand pounds were suddenly lifted off his shoulders. Lavender and vanilla took over his senses, the warmth of the steam, the sounds of light music and water hitting tile. He was sure this is what heaven felt like.

"Sirius? Is that you?" He felt even lighter when she said his name. That soft tone, the one she only used for him. The same one she used every single time she spoke to him. It never failed to give him butterflies, even on the worst days. Somehow just her existing made his world a little brighter.

"Yes, 's me, bun." He couldn't find the energy to say much else, and the good part about her was that he didn't have to. The silence he left was welcomed, one she would gladly fill up with the melodies of Beatles songs he showed her.

"Reg said you were having a rough day, that I should expect you after a while." Her tone was questioning, leaving him the space to tell her as much as he needed. She always did that, let him take control in conversations about such things. He admired it truly, wanting to keep her in his pocket forever.

"Hasn't been the best day, no." Sirius took a seat on the counter, next to a few lit candles, and began fiddling with his fingers. Taking deep breaths, inhaling her scent that was stuck to the air all around him.

"D'you want to talk about it? 'Ve only got my hair left." He didn't want to talk about it, not really. He hummed as an answer, and she started singing as if she hadn't ever asked. The room lit up with the scent of her shampoo, a smell Sirius knew quite well. It was lavender, matched her conditioner, and lingered on the pillows he slept on in her bedroom. It was the kind of warm smell that encompassed you in a bubble of safety, and the feeling of home. Sirius began to think about all the times she ever made him feel like that. All the times she ever made him feel safe, content in being who he was. Because she loved who he was. And her own comfortability with that, with him, was enough to make him secure in it himself.

"'M gonna make you close your eyes now, no peeking." She giggled lightly under her breath as she turned the water off, moving the curtain to make sure his eyes were closed. He didn't say anything, and he really didn't peek. With his eyes closed his other senses got stronger. The smell of her shampoo mixing with that of her vanilla lotion, the sound of her brush running through her hair, the ever so quiet hum of the last song that had played. He felt his entire body calm down, being completely soothed by her entirety. All he could sense, all he could smell and hear, was her. And it grounded him.

"You can open your eyes now, Siri, 'm decent." He almost didn't want to. He suddenly felt very sleepy, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in her arms and sleep as long as she let him. Once he did open his eyes, his heart fluttered. She was wearing an old sweater of his, knit by an older Gryffindor and given to him as a Christmas gift the last year he stayed here for the holidays. It was shades of green, woven together to make a chunky knit sweater that fell just past her hips. She was wearing his old pajama pants too, ones from an impromptu sleepover at his childhood home. He wasn't shocked they fit her, considering she hadn't grown since third year, but he was shocked to see she kept them.

She blew out the candles next to him, smoke billowing up and out of the jar they were in. She put lotion on her face and her hands, grabbing his hands and putting the excess on them. She grabbed his chin very lightly with her thumb and forefinger, moving his head around, as if to inspect him, and for a small moment Sirius was afraid of what she would find.

"You haven't been sleeping well. Haven't been eating either." She said it so surely. As if she could see it written on his forehead in black ink. Sirius shook his head softly, not wanting the warmth from her fingers to leave his skin. She smiled nicely up at him, moving her hand to brush his hair out of his face. He reached up to hold her wrist, trapping her hand against his cheek, and she smiled softer. She had to stand on the very tips of her toes to kiss his head, and it made him huff, and almost laugh, and she smiled victoriously.

She pulled him into her room gently. Pushing him softly to sit on her bed while she walked to get him some pajamas. She pulled out a shirt he gave her and some pants he left in her room that Remus had given him for his birthday. He turned to change, facing the bathroom door just as he had when he came here not long ago. Swiftly changed into pajamas he laid down with a content sigh. Being head girl surely had its perks, and one of them was a king sized bed in a dorm with no roommates.

"D'you want some tea, lovey? Could make it with the honey like you like." How she made him blush with such simple words always baffled him. She remembered everything, she always has. Sirius shook his head, and instead opted for holding his arms up and making grabbing motions with his hands towards her. Her giggle made him smile, it made him notice he was in a much better mood, too. She walked over to the other side of the bed, laying right next to him, and pulled his shoulders to make him lay on her stomach. His arms instantly wound around her waist, shoving his face as deep as he could into her body, holding her as close as he possibly could. Her fingers found themselves weaving into his hair, running through the locks like they were strands of silk. The quiet that encased the room was a lovely type of silence. The kind that Sirius wishes he had more often. No matter how loud and obnoxious he got, times like these were where he felt most himself.

After a while of silence, (Y/N) started humming a song again. As sleepy as it made Sirius, he couldn't let himself sleep.

"I love you, bunny." It was mumbled into her shirt, a half-asleep induced speech mess. She hummed at him, running her hands through his hair while she waited for the perfect moment to say it back. It wasn't a long time before she responded, but while she was waiting he moved his head so his chin rested on her stomach, and he looked at her. It was a tired stare, half closed eyes and a dopey sleep smile etched into his features.

"D'ya hear me bun? Said I love you." She giggled at this, his insistence, and leaned down to kiss his hairline.

"Love you too, Siri. More than anythin' in the whole universe." Her voice was just as sleepy as his, and it made Sirius think that the moment meant that much more to him. That even in their vulnerable, tired states, they felt confident in loving each other. A satisfied hum left his throat, and as he was about to nuzzle back into her shirt, she pulled his hair to make him look at her again.

"'Ya gonna kiss me g'night, handsome? Or should I go get Regulus." A half-chuckle half-groan left his mouth, knowing it's a joke, yet not wanting it be said.

"Should know better than t'say that, bun. Gonna kiss you till y'can't breathe." She giggles as he shimmies up to her face, and she giggles even harder as he kisses all over her cheeks. She knows he feels better, can see that she got her Sirius back to normal, and it makes her feel accomplished. And it makes her think about how she'd do it every single day for eternity if he asked.

"Gimme one proper kiss so I can sleep, you big doof." He laughs into her cheek, placing one last kiss on each one, and finally landing on her lips. It was a long kiss, pressing the final bits of his bad mood into her. A few extra short pecks and one long dramatic smack of his lips later and he is back on her stomach, under the quilt she has charmed to stay warm, with her hands in his hair. Sometime in the night, after they've fallen asleep, his hands wind up under her shirt, searching for the warmth subconsciously. And sometime in the night, Sirius has dreams of her wearing his shirt in their bedroom, and he wakes up in a good mood.

#sirius black fluff #sirius black imagine #sirius black one shot #sirius black x reader #sirius black #regulus black

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