#(ME ' FIRST OF ALL HAVING LOW EMPATHY AND FEELING COMPASSION ARE NOT THE SAME THING EVEN BUT ANYWAY ')

[i-plague-eater]

It took me long to choose characters but I've ended with Elyon, Orube and Yazoo (from FFVII). First, Elyon.

I like her shaggy hairstyle in cartoon a lot! It is a reason for Kane/Phobos to has his hair so wild! But in a comic book her silhouette is much closer to Weira and they're said to be very look alike, so I've came with a compromise between comic and cartoon versions. Her iconic sweater is a noticeable detail too, plus it's purple and purple always gives a magical and mystique vibe.

I'm not gonna lie: as a kid, I've never been fond of her. As far as I know, most fans say the same as I do: she's too sugary sweet, naive, gullible and never had a chance to kick Phobos's ass. But as she's one of the characters in my fancomic In Breach, I followed my commom approach "You can't have a character in your script and feel a subjective grudge towards them". So I started asking myself why Elyon is acting the way she does. And I've discovered а very interesting fact.

Why she WOULDN'T act the way she does?

She is an ordinary teen girl, not the smartest, not the brightest (when it's not about amazing drawing skills that she share with Hay Lin. I mean, come on!). She isn't the most socially successful, as she mentioned in a cartoon "I'm a teenager without friends" (in rus dub). The ordinary "normal" type. Her only stable relationship is with Cornelia and Alchemy. She's so unnoticed that only Alchemy notified the police that Elyon is missing. And Alchemy is not a teacher, just a classmate. A family has disappeared and literally no one (including neighbors) told to police that lights were off for a long time.

Yes, we see Elyon in a background from time to time and she even says a phrase or two. She's not an outcast type, she hangs with the others BUT every time we see her involved it also involves Cornelia who was most likely the one who invited her. And she's always slightly away from the rest making me think she only does this to mix with her surroundings. We never see her hanging with her own company or even a single friend instead of the main heroes or Alchemy (who's also a Cornelia friend). Or Bryan... but it was a sad and short story. We never see her having a long dialogue unless we know who she really is. It's an arguable point tho as the story is about W.I.T.C.H girls and script writers probably were trying to keep a secret of her true nature.

But when Cedric appears! Unlike her furtive parents that always withhold something and Cornelia who's all about herself (with all the respect to Cornelia), Cedric just... listens to her. He shows compassion, non-judgmental approach and sound sincere. With him Elyon feel being special. Not to mention that Cornelia has betrayed her for Will (we know the reason behind it but Ely doesn't).

And then! Bang! Suddenly Elyon becomes THE special. The only one! She's like Harry Potter who got a letter from Hogwarts, like issekai character, the fucking King Arthur, THE CHOSEN ONE! Common people of Meridian are praying on her, servants are ready to perform any caprice, Miranda is being nice and ready to play with her, her older brother is such a sweet and cheerful person who would do just anything for her. She's like Coraline who found the other mother. And this case is actually so good that it should be in a video "How and why people fall for abusive relationship or being lured into a sect".

The only thing she can be accused is being too gullible but she acts as a person who grasps any straw. Who would you choose? Parents who lied to you for your whole life? Fake friends who replaced you with a new girl.

We can go deeper here. Remember the first scene with Elyon in a comic book? She got a low grade and instead of supporting her, her "friends" invent a humiliating punishment to hit on a stranger. Although they know she's quite shy! What a nice company we have here, don't we?

Don't get me wrong, teenagers may show low empathy due to their age. Cornelia isn't a bad person too. She's the most loyal friend one might only dream of! Both in a comic book and cartoon she stays at Elyon's side and refuse the idea of her friend being evil. Although Elyon did a lot in a comic book to be judged. Cornelia risks her own life to get to her. BUT she's still quite an narcissist type. Such people attract very specific friends: those who always stay in their shadow, never a threat or a competitor. You can see others confronting her in either passive-aggressive form or trying to show her a place like Irma does. But Elyon was with Cornelia since they were small kids. I have a theory that Elyon actually wins from it too: she seem very "normal" by hanging with a popular friend who would invite her to every party. And literally no one can say no to Cornelia, right? And Elyon seem present in the society. And at the same time she actually isn't.

So here's the whole picture: Elyon isn't a scapegoat outcast like Martin, she isn't labeled as "odd" like Hay Lin. BUT she's not a successful either. She's a blank one, that average conformal person that does their best to suit "normal" standarts. She's short on social contacts, she's breadcrumbed by Cornelia and has no friends outside her pack. As we remember, Alchemy is also Cornelia's friend. Both Browns are hideous, insanely quiet people who made a very, very isolated, incapsulated family to the point that no one even notices their absence. They do their best to lay low and they teach Elyon to act the same way (we know why, but it's quite unhealthy thing you know). I bet Eleanor is quite unhappy with Ely's marks, but I'm not sure if she's strict about it. She's been shown as a good parent in both comic and cartoon. Although the way Elyon agreed to throw them in prison in a comic so easily is something that keep my brain buzzing.

Sooo my idea is that her reliance problems has started long before the cartoon events. Her social contacts never worked properly to begin with and that's why Cedric got her so easily. Not to mention his speech skills. Elyon was a quiet, shady kid with a certain tendency for escapism. Drawing on her level is quite a specific trait that requires a lot of time spend alone and some wild imagination. I think while she never shows this in a cartoon and probably suppressed it, she was really envy of Cornelia, Irma, Hay Lin and even Taranee having huge and nice families, lots of friends and being very bright people. While she's... on the sidelines. There's a thick wall of white lies between her and her parents. She's... no one. Only Cedric shown her what being heard and important is.

Although all the above is cool, it makes her a bit bland to my personal taste. So in my AU called In Breach I given her a bit salt and spice by returning her some of her comic characteristics. I see her as a stalker type, very jealous and vengeful, but too afraid of showing aggression and staring a feud. She would write some really nasty fanfiction about her foes and spread rumors, make ugly caricature on Grumper sisters. Might even play a nasty prank on someone if she can get away unnoticed. But nothing violent, just humiliating.

So, imagine this lost envious girl stumbling across another narcissist. Different from Cornelia, quite a violent type. The one who seem to be afraid of no one. Like, literally not a single person can tell him what to do - even the police (on a first glance. In reality, he's afraid of jail as fuck). The one who questions the moral, the normality, the good and evil. AND telling her this is what she can and should be. WELL WELL WELL WHO COULD THAT BE)

Also, a song that must be a soundtrack for her kicking Phobos's butt in a cartoon.

#w.i.t.c.h. #w.i.t.c.h fanart #w.i.t.c.h #elyon escanor #w.i.t.c.h elyon #w.i.t.c.h. elyon #art challenge #Spotify #draw fanart of a character #elyon brown

[otogariado]

i love how frieren is the main character of the show. she's someone who's not very good with emotions, with expressing them nor with understanding them. she's even called cold multiple times. despite this, frieren is far from who you would call "cold".

[Images ID: Screenshots of a flashback of Fern with long hair sat beside Heiter's bed. He tells her, "Frieren has poor emotion and empathy. I'm sure it will cause you difficulties and agreements. But there is one good thing about her. She'll worry about you and care for you to make up for it." The last screenshot shows Frieren in present time asleep with her back turned to Fern (the point of view). /End Images ID.]

(This scene made me tear up and I was trying hard not to cry not gonna lie.)

Frieren's compassion, coupled with the fact that the show's entire focus and premise is her connecting with others esp humanity makes the message very clear. It's not about what you're inherently good at; Frieren may not be emotionally inclined or empathic but what matters more is her attempt to understand (in Stark's words). And in Frieren's actions, we've never once shown she doesn't care; in fact, it's even the opposite. We're shown multiple times that she cares. Remember from way back when she went back to the village and killed Qual? Nobody was worried—not Himmel nor the villagers, because they all knew Frieren is coming back to fulfill her duties. That's how much her actions speak for her and how much she cares. And there's also a lot of montages in the earlier episodes where Frieren and Fern (and Stark and Sein) are helping out the people they come across on their journeys, even interacting with a whole community they're stopping by at to the point that the locals become well acquainted with them already.

This also ties into my previous post about the demons and the black-and-white take the show has of them, and of Frieren herself. I think it just further drives the point home about how this story's depiction of demons manage to avoid the -ist traps that these "nonhuman, non-feeling" creatures usually fall into (particularly ableist and racist), and even arguably it is the main point of the whole story. Because again, the story and the show so gracefully show Frieren being low-empathy and low-emotion and doesn't paint her as an inherently bad person because of this. That's not what makes the demons inhuman, it's the demons' inability to care for others that make them inhuman. Meanwhile Frieren is actively caring for and doing what she can to help other people, and reaching out to them in her own way. The difference between them is cut and dry.

Frieren isn't even the only person in the story that's like this. Her main party—Fern, Stark, Sein at one point—all kind of suck at communicating in one way or the other. Sometimes the first three especially are awkward as hell. They manage to get into squabbles all the time. But I think the story makes it clear that none of these people are inherently bad because they're bad at emotions/empathy—in fact one of the things I adore about Frieren is the way it depicts its characters' conflict resolutions. You have characters sitting together talking about what bothered them and actively trying to figure out how to resolve a fight they had with each other. Characters are giving each other advice and trying to get each other to see the other's point of view. This isn't even limited to Frieren's party, even with the exam arc people it's like this. And it's great. I don't think the demons in this universe would be able to do the same thing.

#frieren #sousou no frieren #frieren: beyond journey's end #frieren at the funeral #op #frieren spoilers #frierenposting #meta #analysis

[ashspecter]

Hey there! I took me a bit but I picked out another writing prompt idea. No AGIT spoilers here!

His evil future counterpart escaping the thermos is the stuff of Danny’s nightmares, and to his terror, it eventually happens. Except the last thing this Phantom seems to remember is Vlad putting him to sleep with promises to take the pain away.

Thank you so much for the request (and for no spoilers)! I appreciate it!

Summary:

When Danny’s evil future self escapes the thermos, he fears the worst. However, something happens and Danny finds himself face-to-face with a fractured version of himself in need of a second chance.

Words: 1944 Read on Ao3 or below the cut!

Second Chances

He had known this moment would come, dreaded it even, yet he couldn’t deny the surge of adrenaline that coursed through him as his worst fear unfolded before his eyes. The eerie green mist unfurls from the thermos, coiling and billowing like serpentine tendrils. It makes his race with a mixture of dread and anticipation. His future counterpart, a twisted and malevolent version of himself, breaks free from the confines of the thermos.

The chill that runs down his spine seems to seep into his very soul as he watches the spectral form take shape within the swirling mist. His snow-white hair, tied back into a ponytail, flickers with an otherworldly flame causing a striking contrast against his pale blue skin and his eyes burn with a fiery red intensity. Pointed ears, sharp fangs, and a goatee complete his visage, each feature a twisted reflection of Danny’s own. This is the embodiment of all his fears and insecurities, a twisted reflection of what he would have become if Clockwork never stepped in to help him fix his mistake.

As Danny gazes upon his future self, he can’t help but feel a sense of dread settle in the pit of his stomach. He feels nauseous. The thermos is only a few feet away. If he could get to it, he can seal away this monster-version of himself. But he can’t seem to move.

Dan blinks, then squints. A look of confusion and bewilderment that washes over his face, startling Danny even more somehow. Does he know where he is? Does he remember being sealed away?

There’s no trace of themalicious grin Danny had anticipated and his eyes seem to lose their intensity as the Phantom’s posture slackens. He looks tired and almost as though he’s awakening from a long slumber— a stark contrast to the cunning and calculated demeanor that Danny had remembered seeing when he first faced this brute.

The Phantom’s movements are hesitant, as if he’s trying to make sense of his surroundings and grasping for fragmented memories that slip through his spectral fingers like trickling water. Danny knits his brows together as he studies his once formidable adversary. Is this the same benevolent being he fought all those months ago? It can’t be. He appears almost… vulnerable. 

A pang of empathy tugs at Danny’s conscience as his heart pounds in his ears. Despite the havoc and destruction his future self had caused, there’s a part of Danny that can’t help but see the lost and tormented soul trapped within the ghostly shell before him. Yet, even as compassion flickers within him, Danny understands the danger of underestimating this foe. Whatever vulnerabilities the Phantom may possess now, Danny knows they are fleeting, overshadowed by the potential for chaos and destruction that lies dormant within him.

“Dan?” He questions, voice somehow steady despite the panic still seizing down his spine.

“Dan?” The Phantom echoes, “No, it’s Danny…” He sways slightly and stumbles backward, knocking into the podium that once held the thermos, and slides to the floor. He brings a hand to his face as if to tame a headache and releases a low pain-filled groan.

Danny stares at him, every muscle tense and ready to defend himself against whatever attack may come. But as the seconds drag into minutes, he begins to think that perhaps no attack is coming at all. A very stupid thought despite the relief spreading through his core. He shifts, finally finding the ability to move once again.

He wants to let down his guard, but knowing Dan and seeing the wreckage he had caused both in his own timeline and what he almost caused in the current one before Clockwork set everything right, made the boy-ghost wary. He doesn’t want anything to repeat. He doesn’t want to go through any of that again.

“Are you… okay?” Danny ventures cautiously, his voice finally betraying a hint of uncertainty. He mentally kicks himself. Of all things to ask, why that?

The Phantom lifts his gaze, locking eyes with Danny in a way that makes him tense up all over again. There’s a flicker of recognition, a glimmer of something familiar buried deep within his haunted eyes. Then it fades, leaving only a shadow of a thought.

“I don’t— I don’t know,” The Phantom murmurs, his voice wavering, “Everything’s… foggy.”

Danny watches him closely, torn between his instinct to fight and his growing sense of pity. This isn’t the ruthless adversary he remembers. This is someone lost and struggling to make sense of a reality that is seeping through their fingers like water. He needs help.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Danny asks, inching ever-so-slightly closer. He tries to appear as calm as he can for both himself and the ghost sitting before him.

The Phantom’s brow furrows in concentration as he struggles to piece together the fragments of his broken memory. “Vlad… Vlad was there,” he mumbles, his voice strained with effort. “He said he’d help… he’d help take away the pain.”

Vlad. Of course. The name sends a surge of anger coursing through Danny’s veins. He mentally facepalms. Why hadn’t he remembered what had happened when he visited and gotten stuck in that timeline? Vlad had been one of the largest causes to the current issue. He knows his godfather’s manipulative tendencies all too well, and he refuses to let his former nemesis continue to control and manipulate his future self whether he’s from this timeline or not.

“Do you know who I am?” Danny presses, hoping to find a thread of familiarity in the tangled mess of the Phantom’s mind.

Dan hesitates, his gaze searching Danny’s face, “You’re… you are familiar,” He admits, uncertainty lacing his words, “But I... I don’t remember much.”

His future self is still disoriented and struggling to make sense of his memories. Danny has the upper hand. What is he supposed to do? He can and should seal his future self away once more and forget about him. But how can he? Especially now that his fear has been proven? Danny’s heart sinks. His future self has no idea what is going on. He doesn’t remember all the damage he has caused. He could have a second chance… just like Vlad… He has the possibility to be good this time around.

Finally, Danny exhales as Clockwork’s words echo through his mind:

“You’ve given everyone else in your life a second chance, why give yourself one as well?”

He glances back at his future self and offers him a hand. There is a possibility that the Phantom is faking this whole thing, but Danny finds that hard to believe. Plus, he can’t ignore that this is still someone in need— someone that needs help. This version of himself may have made terrible choices, but he’s still a part of Danny. Danny can’t abandon him.

“We can figure this out,” Danny says, his voice firm, “Whatever happened to you, we’ll fix it. Together.”

The Phantom looks up at Danny, a flicker of hope mingled with confusion in his eyes. It’s a glimmer of vulnerability that Danny recognizes all too well, a reflection of his own struggles and uncertainties with everything that is going on in his life. His future self hesitantly accepts his hand, allowing Danny to pull him from the ground.

As they stand together in Long Now, Danny feels the weight of responsibility settling heavily on his shoulders. How is he going to explain this to Clockwork or anyone else? No one remembers Dan or what he did, other than himself and Clockwork, but that’s besides the point. And simply locking away his future self again won’t solve the overarching problem.

He exhales in an attempt to release the tension in his form. It doesn’t work. There’s too much to think about and act on all at once that his mind feels as though it’s tripping over itself. What does he do?

He isn’t sure.

There’s a huge issue that has been at play since he first learned about the future that he becomes Dan Phantom. It’s been a huge burden since Dan first made his way into the past. It’s the realization that every choice he makes has a consequence that not only shapes who he himself becomes but everyone else around him as well.

He glances up at his alternate self and cocks his head to the side. He can’t help feeling a sense of urgency overcome him. There’s no time to waste dwelling on the past or wallowing in regrets. The future is uncertain, just as it has always been, and every moment brings new challenges and new opportunities such as now. And as much as Danny fears the potential chaos this version of himself could unleash, he can’t ignore that he also needs help.

“We’ll put you back together again,” He declares, letting a grin spread across his face, “Together.”

His future self looks at him with a mixture of uncertainty and… something else? Hope, perhaps? It’s unmistakably etched in the furrow of his brow and depths of his eyes. It’s a faint beacon of light in the midst of darkness.

Danny can tell he is struggling with piecing things together. He can see the doubt that comes with being a soul adrift in a sea of fragmented memories and grappling with the task of piecing together a shattered identity. It’s a fragile moment, but it speaks volumes.

“What if… I can’t be fixed?” The Phantom’s voice is a whisper sounding very much unlike his usual.

Danny lets his shoulders relax upon hearing those words. He knows the pain that Dan is going through. It bugs him. But it also allows him to see himself and the echoes of his own fears and doubts staring back. He’s still in there. Even if it is like peering into a fractured mirror. He’s still Danny.

 He knows the road ahead won’t be easy, but he refuses to give in to fear. With a deep breath to steady his nerves, Danny reaches out, his hand extended in a silent gesture of solidarity and support, “We’ll figure it out.”

His future self hesitates, uncertainty flickering in his eyes like a wavering flame. For a moment, it seems as if he might retreat and succumb to the darkness that threatens to consume him once more. But then, with a tremulous exhale, he reaches out, his hand trembling as it meets Danny’s in a tentative clasp.

In this moment of connection, Danny feels a surge of hope swell within him, pushing back against the shadows that threaten to engulf them both. This is Dan’s second chance. He refuses to let anyone, least of all himself, squander this opportunity for redemption.

As Danny stands there, hand in hand with his future self, a surge of determination courses through him, drowning out the whispers of doubt and fear in the back of his mind. This is their second chance, a chance to rewrite their destinies, to forge a new path forward unburdened by the mistakes of the past. Screw the observers. Screw fate.

“We won’t waste this chance,” Danny affirms, “We’ll make things right, whatever it takes.”

His future self nods in silent agreement, a glimmer of determination shining in his eyes. It’s a small victory but it fills Danny with renewed resolve. They may not have all the answers, and the road ahead may be long and fraught with challenges, but they can find a new path in which everyone has a second chance. And with that hope guiding their way, Danny knows that they will prevail, no matter what trials may come their way.

#dp_marvel94 #danny phantom #writing request #danny phantom fanfiction #request fic #danny fenton #dan phantom #vlad masters #clockwork

[moonlit-positivity]

Lets talk about emotional regulation on a deeper level

Here is a wildly controversial truth: your emotional responses actually make a lot of sense considering what you've been through in your life.

The way you react to stress- the way you shut down, isolate, deny, avoid, daydream, escape, use addictions, and/or self harm? Or the way you lash out, get revenge, get violent, manipulate & gaslight, and project your emotions onto others? Or the way you fawn, people please, shut down emotionally, prioritize others before yourself, and freeze? These responses are born out of pure survival. Every last one of them. At some point these responses were there so you could survive an environment that was trying to kill you. If you don't think that's accurate, then consider that your body & mind felt threatened enough to give you these responses in the first place. It actually makes a lot of sense that your reactions to high stress is to revert to what saved you as a child.

Here's the thing though, what saved you as a child is no longer serving you the same purpose now as an adult.

If you're entering new relationships and friendships as an adult under the same mindset of, "these people are trying to kill me," then here's what's going to happen: your partner, friend, etc is going to inevitably make a mistake that is going to trigger you into that primal, neolithic state of survival. And you are going to unconsciously react in the same ways that saved you as a child. But the difference is that, the person next to you isn't actually trying to kill you. They're just making an honest to goodness mistake and now you're going at them like they're evil incarnate. Or, you're withdrawing and hurting yourself and probably gonna ghost them now because you're too scared to communicate what it is that's bothering you. Or, you're going to pretend like you didn't see it and shut yourself down emotionally and just hope that it works out, until one day you're gonna snap and all that pent up anger is gonna explode out of you like Mount Vesuvius on firey steroids.

This is why it's so important to learn how to do the following things:

1. Spend some time reaffirming that what you went through as a kid was absolutely not normal, under any circumstances. That shit was batshit insane and it shouldn't have happened to you. You really need to dig deep and reaffirm that no, most of the world isn't actively trying to kill you, attack you, or make you suffer. What you went through was truly an isolated incident of pure fuckery. And yeah, it sucks but people will inevitably hurt you again. Learning about boundaries can help with this. But the sooner you realize that most people around you are genuinely not trying to hurt you, the better your life is going to get. Trauma therapy can be a great place to unload these kinds of things.

2. Spend some time processing how your parents'/ abuser's reactions, overreactions, abuse, neglect, gaslighting & projections, etc made you feel. This is important. And yeah it hurts like fuck, but this is important because once you actually allow yourself to feel & process the pain and suffering they did to you, your body starts to shift out of survival and you start to understand exactly how your own emotional responses feel for you & others around you. It gives you a deeper sense of understanding. And yes, this works for low empathy disorders like NPD too. If you were abused as a kid then it literally doesn't matter what your diagnosis is. The fact that your childhood robbed you of safe & secure connection, attunement, regulation, trust, and autonomy, is actually 100% the entire reason why your symptoms exist. And it sucks that the current mental health field does not acknowledge this. You can't pour from a cup that has been empty since the day you were born. You need to turn that attention inward and start unpacking all that shit.

3. Find ways to foster empathy and compassion for yourself with gentle parenting. Your childhood guidance is missing. You need to go back and essentially re-raise yourself. This is the hard & laborious work of inner child healing, emotional regulation, DBT, attachment theory healing, learning how to communicate, etc. imo this is what therapy should be about tbh.

4. Find safe ways to be vulnerable in peace. Restoring your own sense of control over who you allow into your life and what you allow them to do to you, is one great way to gain the safety you need to do this kind of work with. But the one hard inevitable truth of this world is that you are actually going to have to learn how to be vulnerable. You are going to have to learn how to foster grace and compassion for yourself enough to be seen on a deeper level. Again, I'd suggest trauma therapy.

I'd say this is one helluva controversial take, because most spaces will tell you things like, "your reactions are the problem." And well, yeah okay fine. You got a point. But how do you actually do the work in a healthy and safer manner that gets you actually motivated to self inspect and change your ways? This is how you do that. Recognize what you went through was pure survival, so you can foster a better sense of compassion for yourself. Finding a good trauma therapist can help with this. By doing this your body automatically gains the regulation needed to process the fact that yeah, okay, there actually is a different way to do things. Everything else comes naturally over time. And I do mean time. This isn't something you can do once and then call it good. You're gonna be doing this for the rest of your life.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope this helps

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #trauma awareness #trauma informed #npd #bpd #emotional regulation #survival #fight flight #fight flight freeze fawn #gentle parenting #communication #relationships #child abuse #recovering from abuse #emotional work #growth #advice #life advice #interpersonal relationships #self compassion #abusive parenting

[bibiana112]

Kinda weird question- do you have any links to people talking about Mira from ZTD and ableist stereotypes? I mentioned that I was uncomfortable with her portrayal but kinda fumbled it and made some other ND people in chat uncomfortable. I searched for various keyword combinations but most of what I'm finding is like "and not to mention the ableism with Mira" and doesn't elaborate lol.

Not weird at all! And uh, you see, there's a recent post I made where what I complain about is the very fact I've never seen anyone post too in-depth about her at all, I'd love to see posts that do elaborate on that but I do not have any that I know of right now, sorry :/ hopefully someone else who sees this can point to one? Okay!! After some tag searches I have found exactly one post who kind of gets into it I like this take still would love to see. more than just one but hooray

And like though I complain I couldn't elaborate much on it myself I don't think, I believe most of the posts people make about Saito from aitsf would apply since it's a different uchikoshi take on the very same trope of "emotionless characters who cannot function without killing others" I guess he's a worse portrayal though since she's at least not stated to get reward brain chemicals when killing people and I guess her case also has the added layer of "femme fatale" to it? Which either makes it less bad or worse depending on where you approach it from As I said I am not doing a good job of being coherent on this oh and also there's her being "redeemed" and "cured" in the epilogue which in on itself is kinda not great to imply it just goes away like that and honestly I personally don't even buy it I think she'd just be like oh okay Akane over here has like a thousand reasons to hate me after all that oh and what's that she's the leader of a super wealthy underground organization who's organized one of these death traps before yeah no I'm better off going to prison I'll be fine there lmao bye

But I'll say as an autistic person with relatively low empathy I usually see a character who just doesn't understand other people's feelings and wants to feel them too and is just trying to survive despite getting no help and I just kinda go hm. yeah. shout-out to roxas kingdom hearts shout out to mary from ib shout out that's why I started hyperfixating on media art helps me with understanding others a great lot and Mira is just in a story too badly executed for me to care or even begin to wrap my head around tbh like god she's so fucking terribly used as a plot device in every conceivable way that it makes it difficult to see past it and into what she could possibly be if it weren't for the stereotype of equalling low empathy with no compassion what's with her killing off screen in ways that wildly deviate from her stated m.o? why or how was she even in cahoots with Zero why was that a thing? Honestly her dynamic with Sean could have been better fleshed out could have done something interesting about robot child and his aspd big sis but we just kind of don't get any attention brought to the subject of emotions and the authenticity there of except for the "reveal"...

YOU KNOW WHAT that's probably one huge reason it feels so fucked up actually! Like the whole fucking game is written so you could experience it in whatever order you want and therefore Mira being a serial killer at all is something that though not very well hidden it also cannot be a topic of discussion or explored Ever ever because the player may not have seen the fragment where that is revealed yet- problem being the menu design of that game sucks so bad and practically everyone gravitates towards the same few more interesting looking thumbnails first and then the rest is kinda just there, I mean that is part of the reason A Lot of characters feel half-baked I think but also I think it definitely does impact perception of her character specifically probably The Most and then there's just the general not being given nuance not being able to see the minutiae of how that disorder manifests in her character aside from the killings about how she acts aside from being overly flirty trying to lure in Eric but that affects pretty much all of the new cast we don't have last names and in her case we barely have any backstory at all like Saito is a harmful stereotype sure but we get So Much Context for him that people still love talking about him and delving into different aspects of his life since we have that very well telegraphed in the narrative meanwhile for Mira all we can do is fill in the blanks guesswork that only highlights the worst aspects of the surface level portrayal we got and ultimately that people just don't care enough to dissect because there isn't much there character wise once you remove it

#oh to be miraposting on a sunday evening instead of catching up on schoolwork #I love how you can see the exact moment while writing this that I had a brain blast akdhks #me: sorry I can't elaborate also me: types out. three paragraphs #also if you're comfortable with that I'm curious what you could have possibly said that it'd be considered fumbling #dms are open if you send it into an ask I'll answer privately and again only if you want to share #cause like I want to see different perspectives on this so bad even if they're not eloquent #especially since it's not really something that ever got to me much? but that I can kinda see why it'd be upsetting #my suspension of disbelief is just too tanked for it to get an emotional reaction of me especially with the rest of the cast for contrast #I'm too busy being annoyed at everyone else's portrayal in that game not to mention idk it feels like #like schlocky hollywood no thoughts character archetype go brr type ableism #not the really insidious woven into the narrative stuff that I usually want to rant about cough cough youtube video I'll probably never mak #like pretty sure it's stated somewhere that the idea for her character was uchikoshi going hm. there's been femme fatales in these games #but none of them have been Really “Fatale” you know? he literally just wanted the big booba character to also be the stabby character #zero escape #ztd #mira ztd #if this should be under a readmore. let me know #zero escape spoilers

[memento-morri-writes]

I'm an autistic with low empathy or possibly no empathy (i do not vicariously experience other peoples' emotions except literally once which confused me, spent a lot of time unaware that it's a real thing other people experience, and may have subnormal cognitive empathy (idk), but otherwise i'm "normal" i guess), but i can't really use myself as a metric for what a low-empathy autistic character could be like because i was literally bullied from since i was a toddler to the first year of trade school and literally never had friends which propably fucked me up (i was propably nicer as a tiny child, but idk if i would've grown out of it if i wasn't bullied), plus i'm bad at self-analysis so...

Obviously low-empathy people can be compassionate, outgoing, and emotional and expressive (at least i think so; i've seen other low-empathy people talk or imply weirdly about their emotions). But would it make sense for a low-empathy autistic character to have low affective and seminormal cognitive, and be emotionally intelligent? Or emotionally open and vulnerable?

Hi Anon! I can only speak as to my personal experiences, plus a little bit of what other low/no empathy people I've met have told me. So please take my answers with a grain of salt!

First off, low/no empathy people can definitely still be compassionate. Compassion is defined as "sympathetic concern for the suffering of others". And while showing compassion and/or sympathy is definitely easier with "normal" empathy, it's not impossible.

Based on the definitions of cognitive vs affective empathy, being able to be compassionate would rely more on having higher cognitive empathy, since the idea of compassion is more based understanding someone else's emotions, rather than feeling the exact same as them.

So if you want a character to have low/no empathy, but still be very compassionate, they should probably have seminormal cognitive empathy, like you said.

In my personal experience, most of the people I've talked to who experience low empathy experience low affective empathy. Which isn't to say that the reverse doesn't exist, because it definitely does. But it seems that a lack of cognitive empathy is a bit more common? (I don't have data to back this up, but based on experience it seems to be the case? Again, grain of salt.)

I personally tend to be more closed-off emotionally, but that's not the case for all low-empathy people. That's going to be another thing that will probably depend on your character's background and upbringing. If they lived in a place where they had support, and felt safe and loved, no matter their emotions, they're probably more likely to be emotionally open and vulnerable. If they were often bullied or had their emotions dismissed, they're probably more likely to be closed-off.

As for emotional intelligence, empathy is just one part of that. The other parts include recognizing emotions (your own, and those of others), and regulating your own emotions. So while empathy is key to part of that (recognizing the emotions of others falls under cognitive empathy), regulating and understanding one's own emotions does not require strong empathy. Thus, a low/no empathy character could still be very emotionally intelligent when it comes to themself, or even other people, provided they had seminormal cognitive empathy.

So, basically: It depends. Think about what kind of empathy your character struggles with, as well as their background and personality as a whole. That should help give you a path to decide how your character handles their own emotions.

(once again, take my replies with a grain of salt. I'm only one person, and I don't have a formal education in psychology, etc. My input is based largely on my own experiences, as well as input from friends.)

#Anonymous #Morrigan replies #low empathy #no empathy #writing autistic characters #writing low empathy characters #empathy tag #<- because I need one of those now ig

[cosmichighpriestess]

Sometimes it doesn't matter how kind and genuine you are with others. Sometimes they will reject themselves before even getting to know you because they already assumed you would reject them. I've been noticing this a lot lately. I'll come in with pure intentions and meet someone new and they already assume I'm off limits or that I'll reject who they are, or not wanting to be friends. It's always made me a little bit sad when I can see that's what's happening and they've already rejected themselves because of low self esteem, or maybe they just thought I was too much, too this too that, all superficial false perceptions of who they think I might be but I understand, I do.

It just means I have to wait for the ones with the same deeper understandings, the ones who radiate self love and high self esteem, the ones who don't care what other's think that won't feel suffocated by me trying to pull them up to greater heights. It's my aura, it's not that it's bad, or better, it's just threatening to some because it's different, it's not better it's not worse, it just feels different from what I'm told. There's all kinds of magical beings surrounding me, there's e.ts, there's faeries, angels, there's dragons I would probably feel threatened too upon first meeting. My presence is healing for those with an open heart but triggering for those with many inner unhealed wounds. I trigger healing for those with a closed heart.

But you cannot make other's comfortable with who you are, that is not your responsibility, to lower yourself, to make yourself smaller, more digestable, more like them, to people please, your authenticity is the key to all your happiness, all your success, all the things you want and desire will only come from being yourself. That's your purpose on Earth, is just to be yourself. Sometimes people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves. You cannot make other's think and feel as deeply as you do because you can understand them deeply, but they cannot understand you. It's a blessing but it feels like a curse. It hurts to be looked at and never seen but the ones who do see you will be able to take you in and love you loud, love you intensely, love, appreciate and value you because you are extremely valuable, whether other's treat you that way or not, it does not matter, it only matters that you value and appreciate yourself and you will see reflections of that in time and you will continue to meet more versions of yourself you never knew existed all because you are here to discover more of you, that's what the unknown is, it's just discovering more of you in everything and everyone you encounter. What everyone needs is more love and more empathy and compassion even if they can't show you, you can offer it to them but don't force them to receive it if they can't. Make the unknown your friend. Integrate all parts of the experience without invalidating what you do not prefer. So there's nothing to be afraid of, there's nothing you need to strive for, you just need to be yourself without apologizing for existing. Authenticity is your superpower.

#rose messages

[our-aplatonic-experience]

it's half a question n half a vent because am trying to figure out if my experience is aplatonic/in aplatonic spectrum or it has other reasons.

am autistic, have did (dissociative identity disorder) and avpd (avoidant personality disorder). tell this because it's important for this question. (also am semiverbal so sorry for poor grammar and probably poor wording).

am aroace. but have always thought that have platonic attraction. love seeing friendship in media. include friendship (or thing that i mistake as friendship, because of my weird relationships with relationships) in daydreaming. so at first time thought aplatonic is not abt me.

but. before coming to aroace label, thought am definitely alloromantic. then understood that have misunderstood romantic attraction. that people don't exaggerate their feelings in media n verbal descriptions. (know bad thoughts bad to think that someone is exaggerating but was child n thought abt it more like abt metaphors). n other things abt romantic attraction. so understood it's not abt me and came to label aro.

but what abt platonic attraction? am not sure can feel it.

never was good at befriending. all close people came to my life because we were in the same space. n usually they started communication. when i started communication it was because have some common work or interest. have general problem with communication. can't communicate not abt interesting topics n can't communicate without solid purpose. like "need to do this n that with someone so will communicate with them" or "interested in their experience/have shared interest with them so can discuss it". autistic thing. but maybe also aplatonic thing.

have difficulties with being actually emotionally close with someone. have low empathy. but can compass n can support. but usually feel like my vulnerable parts are behind barriers. like keep distance. like there's a barrier between me n them. have a window for communication, but other parts of me are closed. communication doesn't reach me inside. can't explain better. avpd thing n maybe did thing and n partially autistic thing. but maybe also aplatonic thing. have only one person with who am actually open as a whole. n it's abt trust, not abt feelings (but have feelings to him, just not sure what kind of).

can adapt to people leaving fast. mourning a couple of days, but after that feel nothing. like "okay, go on". forget them easily. did thing, but may be aplatonic thing.

have always worried abt being bad friend. because have difficulties with starting n supporting communication, with checking on people, with remembering abt them first. need to be asked to start communicating. or have to push myself. n it's not because don't wanna talk with them or not interested in. may be interested when already am asked. may feel good during all communication. just don't feel an impulse to start it. if know they are okay, may not communicate for really long time. autistic thing, but may be also aplatonic thing.

have always known that any kind of relationship for me will be less important than work. work may mean job, activism, n so on. may mean special interests. can live without close relationships n with little-to-no personal communication n be happy. but can't live without work. without doing morally important things for me. autistic thing, but may be also aplatonic thing.

definitely feel love. the reason why thought can't be aro and why doubt in aplatonic label. (not mean aplatonics can't feel love. talk abt myself only. am trying to figure our my own feelings. am not trying to police others' feelings).

but what kind of love it is? my love is big n includes a lot of things. love the universe. love chemistry. have cried because of plank's constant physical meaning. have cried because of how world is meaningful n beautiful in its meaningfulness. love logics. love words. really really love words because they are so meaningful. love understand things. love activism. love when someone is good. love that world is built to be good. love love love it all. and love people. because are also built to be good. because are so meaningful. because have done so many great things. because are so unimaginable. hard to explain, don't have better words. and love close people in somehow same way. because they are so adorable. because they are so complicated n so meaningful n so good n so great. like reflection of all beautifullness of the world.

love to them isn't unique for me. so it may be aplatonic thing. but may be autistic thing or just me being weird thing.

but close people are special to me. but is it in a platonic way? when become closer with someone, don't feel something special until reach some point. don't feel specific attraction. communicate abt our common themes. support when they need. may be interested in topics of our communication, but don't feel something special to them. n after some point, when start communicate more frequently, start to feel responsibility. like they are a part of my life. not random strangers. care abt them n their life. feel protectiveness to them personally. can't explain better. at this point used to consider people friends (ask them to be friends, yes i do this).

n there's another point after that one. when start to wanna invite people in my home. usually ask them to be in relationships (used to call these relationships queerplatonic). it's abt trust n abt influence (their influence on my life) n abt responsibility n protectiveness. so can reproduce "standart relationships forming" model: strangers – acquaintances – friends – partners. but in some non-standart way?

also need to mention that feel sensual attraction. n use it as indicator of getting closer.

when think abt it, understand that for me friendship is like alliance? like in adventure stories. a team of heroes who support one another and move together through the plot? it's like i see all of it friendship concept. they are my allies, my team, people who i care abt and who am responsible for. have strong feelings to them. but not sure these feelings look like platonic attraction.

my favorite form of interaction is when there's a small group of my close people who talk one another n me sitting with them, listening n sometimes comment or infodump. that's why like polyamorous relationships. (know every polyamorous relationships are different n they don't have to look this way. talk abt my experience n my wishes). always introduce my partners to each other n love when they become closer. don't push them, just look n hope. no enforcement. autistic thing (need support for communication) n avpd thing, but also may be aplatonic thing.

am not sure how to consider my feelings n relationships. am not sure why feel n act this way. am not sure if it's normal alloplatonic experience, normal alloplatonic neurodivergent experience, or aplatonic experience. don't know standards.

also fakeclaim myself. think that maybe am just trying to pick up new (for me) identity, just wanna be quirky, just overthinking n so on. but it happens with every identity n every diagnosis (including official ones). (don't mean self-diagnosis isn't valid just showing the depth of my denial because for me personally official diagnosis feels like approval. a big one. n i still can doubt n deny). (any fakeclaiming thoughts are directed only to me. i would never doubt someone's identity except mine. i would never think this way abt anyone except me. you all are valid n your all identities, including aplatonic one, are absolutely valid n i feel it as strong as possible).

thank you for reading this for so long. sorry if it was inconvenient. also thank you for this blog n thank you for sharing info n helping people to discover themselves n for being so cool.

.

#aplatonic #aspec #apples

[inloveforevr]

how do i forgive myself for ignoring my friends' texts and reaching out to check on me, when i was very depressed and dealing with multiple crisis? I stayed away and didnt ask for support and then ghost them. I also didnt connect with other people or post on social media where they could see it and get hurt by me ignoring them.

I just laid low and licked my wounds in private. My issues were not things they could help with (like my marriage having huge fights, unemployment , being sick, my mom being hospitalized)

But i dont know if i deserve to be their friend still?

I feel so overwhelmed with guilt that i dont know how to reconnect with them or how to reply.

Especially when i read posts that say "cut out people who disappear on you" or "its time to drop ppl who dont make an effort to meet u halfway " when i read stuff like this i feel stricken with panic and i afraid that my friends will buy into this narrative or be convinced that i deserve to be cut out.

I feel ashamed and lonely.

More info: the last time we were in touch i used to be there for them and listen to them a lot and host them and take them out when i could. So im not a very useless friend (i think). But im just very bad at keeping in touch when im overwhelmed n hurt by my own life.

Please will you or your followers give me some peace? If you were in my friends' shoes, would you forgive someone like me ? Would you be okay with me reappearing after 2 months?

(Btw me and these friends all reside in different cities so these are all long distance friendships based solely on texting).

I feel so guilty i could die

Hey love, sorry to hear you’re going through all of this. And i’m sorry to hear ab all the difficulties you’re facing.

I know some people like to lay low and deal w their issues first before going to others for support. (i do the same thing!) and as a result, distancing yourself from relationships can make sense.

It’s totally understandable to feel guilty and lonely as a result of all of this.

And regarding the internet’s thinking on relationships & cutting people off - it’s so false. I think it makes sense to end a relationship when it’s abusive/unhealthy - that’s real yknow. But it’s such black and white thinking. Don’t listen to the internet. And i certainly don’t think it applies in this scenario.

You clearly value your friendships and i’m sure they value you and care ab you. Honestly? Shoot them a message, explain what’s been going on. Don’t hold back. Arrange a dedicated time to talk if you can.

We all need friends. And yeah you may feel ashamed and guilty but don’t let it prevent you from reaching out. You need a good support system around you and you don’t want to lose your friends, especially in a time when you’re facing difficulty. Support and community is essential. We all need it. We all need love.

Be honest, and tell them how you feel.

If this was my loved one, i would be concerned more than anything. I love all my friends deeply. I’d want to hear from them and ensure they are okay. I wouldn’t hold it against them if they are already going through a tough time. I’d offer them compassion & empathy.

And you’re not a bad friend. Don’t believe that thought. The fact you asked this shows you care.

Please take care of yourself. Ensure you are leaning on your support system. If therapy is available to you, it may also be worth considering. Sometimes you need a safe space to process what is going on. It sounds like you’re going through a lot of stress.

I hope it all goes well ❤️

And if any if my followers have any further advice pls add thank U!

[finitefall]

“He's [Aemond] not capable of empathy or compassion.”

But he is. At the funeral, Aemond walked up to Jace and smiled at him. He clearly wanted to comfort him because he knew Jace’s real father Harwin also just died, but decided to not say anything because he knew comforting him would mean admitting that he knows Jace is a bastard. I’m not saying Aemond doesn’t have a dark side, he does, but he also has a good side. He defended his sister Helaena from Aegon and wanted to comfort his nephew, Jace. And this was all when Aemond himself was a bullied kid with a low self esteem.

I honestly have no idea why so many people who love Aemond as a kind person and a victim of bullying keep commenting my posts and sending me messages, like they expect me to have a revelation and change my mind. I'll still answer this one.

Empathy and compassion are two different things, I'll start with the first one. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of other people, to see things from their point of view. It's actually both a quality and a burden, because truly feeling the pain of others makes you able to help others, but takes a lot of energy and leaves you sometimes not being able to separate your own pain from the one you feel from others. Compassion is feeling sympathy for others, which makes you want to help as best as you can.

Aemond certainly isn't capable of empathy, and as for compassion, the only example is when Viserys demands to know from whom he heard that Rhaenyra's children are bastards and he looks at his mother (because of course he heard it from her) before saying it's Aegon (because his mother has a look of fear on her face, so he’s showing her compassion). He shows affection for Helaena, not compassion: he isn't feeling sympathy for her having to marry Aegon, he's only saying he would have liked to marry her. Why? In his own words: "It would strengthen the family. Keep our Valyrian blood pure." And he then tells Aegon their sister is his future queen, meaning he's already (like every Green) planning for Aegon to succeed to Viserys instead of Rhaenyra. Which also means that the next King is the one chosen to marry Helaena, and Aemond thinks he's better suited than Aegon.

He wanted to comfort Luke because he and his brothers lost their father Harwin, but couldn't say it because it would be admitting he knows they're bastards? Okay, first of all: they're not bastards, as I explained many times before, but Aemond has zero problem calling them bastards since his mother told her sons that's what they were. The same day, in the evening, Aemond showing compassion to Luke and Jace for losing Harwin: "You will die screaming in flames just as your father did! Bastards."

I've answered about Aemond so many times that I'm just gonna ignore the next messages about him, unless it's something new and interesting, instead of repeating myself every time.

#HOTD #anti aemond stans #answered

[boreal-sea]

I know everyone who follows me on Tumblr is cool, but I've seen some buckwild takes on twitter (mostly from people who are extremely anti-Izzy, yes, it's a thing, there's been a lot of drama, a lawsuit, and doxxing involved)

ANYWAY

I've seen some folks claiming that Stede is a horrible person for abandoning Edward... and in the same breath, they place all the blame for Edward embodying the Kraken at the end of the season on Izzy.

Both situations were trauma-induced reactions. But in one situation, the person is blamed for their actions, and in the other, he's excused.

Personally, I think it shows a severe misunderstanding of how trauma works, and a disconcerting lack of respect for people who react to "fight or flight" with flight instead of fight. There is of course actually four options: fight, flight, freeze, fawn.

I've seen this reaction in other fandoms too: people really cannot wrap their heads around anxiety, trauma, and fear causing a character to flee a situation if it results in someone else being harmed. I recognize it immediately, as someone who also has an anxiety disorder.

In Yuuri on Ice (stay with me), Yuuri has an anxious break down near the end of the series. He decides that the best way to "fix" the situation is to "run away" by breaking everything off with Victor. Yuuri very much has a low sense of self-worth and views himself as bringing Victor down, and preventing Victor from skating.

In OFMD, Stede has an anxious break down near the end of the season. He decides in a moment of utterly traumatic panic that the best way to "fix" the situation is to run away back home. Stede very much has a low sense of self-worth and views himself as bringing Edward down and is accused more than once of "bringing the greatest pirate ever to ruin".

You can see the similarities. I think I deserve a reward for comparing Yuuri on Ice to OFMD.

Anyway, in both cases, I saw a lot of fans expressing zero understanding, empathy, sympathy or compassion for either Yuuri or Stede.

"Oh my god, he's so cruel, how could he do that!? He needs to apologize on his knees! He doesn't deserve to be taken back!"

But let's look at Edward: he's also facing trauma: he was left behind by Stede, and then Izzy comes along and in his attempt to snap some sense into Edward, he makes it worse.

But Edward doesn't flee.

Edward's response is, in my opinion, a combination of fight and fawn. He becomes the Kraken both to literally fight, and also to appease Izzy, to scare people into believing he is who they want him to be. It's a very aggressive form of fawning, but he's not doing it for himself, he's doing it to make other people happy. He's becoming who he thinks they want him to be: the Kraken. It is, in its own way, a form of flight too, because he's retreating inside himself and putting up a persona to hide behind, but I think people don't always catch on to that form of flight.

And the people out there blaming Stede for his reactions don't blame Edward, they blame Izzy! "It's Izzy's fault! He did this!"

So Stede gets to keep his agency, but Edward doesn't. Edward is a victim, but Stede isn't.

And that's not even getting into how Izzy's actions are in and of themselves a response to him being genuinely worried for Edward's mental and physical well-being. He even tries to send in Lucius first before resorting to threats. He tries to do things the gentle and kind way.

All of the characters are reacting to everything and it's a big clusterfuck of feelings, but some folks don't like things to be complicated, so they have to pick aggressors and victims, and somehow, those folks decided Stede and Izzy were to blame, and Edward has no control or agency over his decisions.

And I think people just overall have more respect for people, fictional and real, who react to panic and trauma with "fight" instead of "flight". Which is a damn shame. I'm not sure if ableist is the right word here, but it feels derogatory in some way.

#ofmd #stede bonnet #edward teach

[silver-blooded-synthetics]

@spiderballetofhawkins asked:

(Questions for Errol in Stranger Things Verse from the mun) 1. Errol when did you first realize you were genderfluid? 2. Besides your mom having you be sent to a lab (which is extremely awful) what was the worst moment you can comprehend that your mother did or said to you? 3. When you are experiencing a relapse what are the thoughts that occur in your mind? And how does someone or yourself or both help calm you down and keep you from hurting someone or even worse? 4. Lorraine wants to know why you think she’s beautiful? I know it’s a weird question, because she’s beautiful, but today she’s feeling very low about herself 😭

Errol when did you first realize you were genderfluid?

"I don't know. It's sort of just something I've always been. The older I got the more it was difficult to ignore. I didn't know there was a name for it until I became a librarian at Hawkins public libarary, after the lab. I did some research on it and that's when I suppose I figured out that I was genderfluid. But I always knew I wasn't just a boy, or a girl, but that I could be any gender I wanted at any moment because that's how I felt."

Besides your mom having you be sent to a lab (which is extremely awful) what was the worst moment you can comprehend that your mother did or said to you?

"I don't know... there were a lot of times." He shrugs his shoulders, trying to seem indifferent, but it's obvious just thinking about his mother is leaving a bad taste in his mouth. "Maybe the time I was four years old and I had a headache because my baby sister wouldn't stop crying. I didn't have control over my abilities at the time, so that headache made me make the lights flicker until they broke and the light bulbs shattered. My mother screamed and called me a little monster. She hit me for it... She did the same thing when she found out I was collecting spiders a few years later. Screamed at me, called me a monster, and hit me, then locked me in my room while she stomped on all my spiders..." Errol looked quite upset by it still.

When you are experiencing a relapse what are the thoughts that occur in your mind? And how does someone or yourself or both help calm you down and keep you from hurting someone or even worse?

"It's not good for me to think about, because it can trigger a relapse but... I think of how much I hate human society. How they build their entire system on greed and hurting others to gain for themselves. How they hurt me, just to satisfy their own curiosity. How people like Brenner use others and control them just to feel powerful, just like he did to me. I think of how horrible human kind is and I just... want to destroy it all. I want to end it. Most people aren't worth saving, because even those that are the ones being hurt, if given the chance to be on top, they'd hurt others too... even me. Everything should just die," he says grimly.

With a sigh, Errol tries to force the thoughts out of his mind. "Knowing there are good people out there, people capable of love and compassion, helps. I struggle with empathy, but I can still be compassionate. And trying to be that way helps me to get out of that headspace. Having someone worth loving helps a lot though," he admits. "Someone that loves me too and wants better for me... It gives me a reason to be a better person."

Lorraine wants to know why you think she’s beautiful? I know it’s a weird question, because she’s beautiful, but today she’s feeling very low about herself.

"Because she is!" Errol says earnestly. "She has such a petite, curvy figure that's so sexy and cute. She's got lovely hair with lots of volume and it's so soft. She has the softest lips too, and her eyes, we could stare into them for hours. Lorraine is so beautiful, but not just on a physical level either. She is so patient and understanding. She accepts us the way we are, even with all our flaws. She is kind and loving. She's so strong, she faces so many battles every day, both against the world around her that always throws upsetting circumstances her way, and the battles in her own mind. She fights those battles and even on her bad days, she survives them and keeps going. Do you know how brave that is? How strong she must be? I love her very much. She's the most beautiful person I know."

#answered ask #oc errol #stranger things au #abuse tw

[aspd-culture]

Do you think remorse can exist on a spectrum like empathy can? I think my ability to feel remorse is… low or lower than the average person but I don’t think it’s completely void or absent.

Oh it absolutely does. There's actually two separate tags on remorse that reference exactly this - low remorse and no remorse - and I usually do my best to label things as "low/no remorse" when talking about that for this reason.

Low remorse can look a few different ways that I can think of. One presentation of low remorse would be only having remorse for more "extreme" or "obvious" things such as causing blatant physical harm to someone.

Another presentation (the one I have) is having a specific "moral" compass that is not the same as everyone else's and not socially acceptable, wherein if you break it then you would feel remorse. For example, many pw typical remorse would feel bad at hitting anyone who didn't hit them first, but there are plenty of situations where I personally would not feel remorse for hitting someone. For example, when someone upset my partner of the time to the point where it affected their mental health and not only didn't apologize, but actually defended it when I talked to them about it. I smacked that person and I do not feel bad and I never will. Hopefully, they learned that destroying someone else's mental health without any reason isn't cute that day. That said, I would never, ever be able to forgive myself if I harmed a child even on accident, even though many people with typical remorse can spank children without any guilt at all. Overall though, there are less situations for me that cause me to feel remorse than others by a significant margin, so I am considered to have low remorse.

Yet a third presentation would be to feel remorse in most/all the expected situations that pw typical remorse would feel, but recover from it extremely quickly/without much effort and/or not feeling it very strongly.

I'm sure there are more that I could list, but these are the examples of low remorse off the top of my head.

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #low remorse #no remorse #actually aspd #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd #aspd awareness #aspd traits #anons welcome

[maschotch]

same anon as the morgan ask lol - no you’re so right about the weird vibes of hc’ing reid as transmasc. like if it was just sometimes… but it’s all the time, it’s disproportionately him, much more rare for hotch or morgan or luke or anyone to be transmasc. and like… people are always calling reid their /babey boy/ and it’s kinda the same with a lot of popular transmasc hcs, it’s young, skinny, white, shy or "socially awkward", "feminine" in some way, characters. it rubs me the wrong way. depends on the reasoning. but for reid it’s always,, "oh cause he looks young for his age, he has long hair, he’s so /cute/, he’s my baby boy, he’s shy and girls are shy" etc. like. classic infantilising of trans guys, classic transphobia against transmascs. nothing against some reidgirls but can they stop being weird about it? can they explain why they’d not hc hotch or morgan as transmasc, unless they’re doing t4t reid and someone? why i’ve only ever seen one hc of any of the women as transfem? & don’t feel bad about preferring to talk about hotch - i’m a morgan fan but i’m a (low empathy) prentiss fan first, i don’t mean that everyone has to obsess over morgan, i just wish people would appreciate his strengths & flaws & experiences & overall character a bit more in general.

admittedly i’m also the person who sent that last low empathy prentiss ask btw, big agree with all you say. of course i don’t mind that people have different opinions on her to me but just…. sometimes i’m like, did we watch the same show? a lot of the things they consider "empathy" moments from her are just being somewhat kind, and like, yeah i don’t think she’s evil so of course she has the capacity to be kind and exhibit some compassion. but every time she gives a grunt of disgust at a crime scene or whatever, it’s just to show that she disapproves of what the unsub did, not that she’s devastated or shocked in the way that many of the others on the team seem to be. and probably somewhere between having a shit relationship with her mother, the way she canonically has said she would change everything about herself to get approval from other teens when she was moving schools all the time in high school, and her undercover missions at Interpol… somewhere in all that, she clearly developed some acting skills, the ability to manipulate people, mirror and read people but *manually* rather than by having empathy. for her job, that’s necessary, idk how to say "manipulate" in a way that doesn’t sound that bad but i don’t mean it as inherently bad lol. and having less empathy would help her stay calm, logically analyse problems, not be fooled by people pretending to be upset, not have too much guilt get in the way of manipulating suspects (necessary to her job obviously), etc. however, it can diminish her ability to comfort friends from an emotional POV, might make her more impulsive/reckless because she doesn’t consider the effects it might have on herself and others, and it probably would contribute to how in those Lauren eps she just assumes her team members would be mad at her because she doesn’t *know* how they would emotionally feel about that. and maybe she does worry that she’s a bad person bc of her low empathy! who knows! i haven’t actually thought *that* much about it, i’m just kinda rambling about a few patterns i see, but i do think she has low empathy. and that you’re very right about the writers just… being inconsistant and weird with her character a Lot. i’m glad someone else sees what i see with her.

signed, the only morgangirl 😔 lmao

yeah :// like it’s tricky to be overly critical of trans hcs without being disrespectful or belittling people’s experiences (bc there are some people who i know identify with reid’s gender ambiguity (???)) but idk… it’s hard to ignore the pattern of the internet favoring their submissive breedable skinny white little twink as the main char seen as trans. like. what are we saying here lol

and yeah same thing w characters… you cant really fault anyone for preferring certain characters but when they take character traits/experiences/plotlines from morgan and give them to reid?? it just feels?? distasteful? like if youre gonna change everything about reid to make him/his backstory more like morgan, just… write about morgan? idk how to describe it. it’s like… if there’s a set of angsty tropes that are pretty standard—used by both official network writers and fandoms—that the showrunners divvy up between characters, and the fandom enjoys certain tropes that apply to certain characters, and the fandom’s favorite character is different, then they’ll give those same tropes to their favorite character without acknowledging the other character at all. idk if that makes any sense, but it’s just glaringly obvious when it’s the exact same type of skinny white guy that becomes the fandom’s favorite every time

but yes i am a very big fan of low empathy emily <3 i think it’s one of those “repressed lesbian jj” concepts that explains away a lot of the shitty character inconsistencies?? emily’s inconsistent bc she’s acting, bc she’s playing a part, bc her mask is changing as she tailors it to the group dynamic and her place within it. which is just FASCINATING to me lmao i love it so much. it’s something i’ve spent a lot of time thinking about, but despite that i feeel like i dont have a lot to say on it? it’s less like a “here’s a list of headcanons for this character” and more of a “here’s a lens to watch the show through.” it doesnt necessarily addd anything, it’s just a different perspective that imo makes things make more sense lol. i think she’s made peace with who she is and doesn’t spend too much time fretting over whether she’s a bad person. like i don’t think she’s answered that question necessarily, i just think she knows it’s kinda pointless trying to figure it out. n e ways yes i like that you also see it :)))

#i totally straight up fucking answered this ask earlier it jsut… didnt post?? didnt even leave my inbox? #this is why i type everything in notes app first lol #asks

[autimind]

Myths about Autism #3 - no empathy

Have you ever overheard a foreigner ordering drinks or food in a restaurant? Have you tried doing this in another language when you were abroad for business or on a holiday?

"Bring me a beer." "I want the day soup."

Restaurant staff is used to a variety of conduct from their customers but these sentences are basically orders and come accross as very curt, if not outright rude. This varies with culture and location, obviously. These examples will have to suffice.

Are these foreigners rude? Were you? Well possibly but probably not. The problem here is a lack of fluency. This is simply the best way these people can voice their requests.

Where I live, it is still common to ask for permission to pay for something in a shop. "Mag ik dit afrekenen?"/"May I pay for this?" This is idiomatic language, a diffuse and ever-shifting cultural standard that proscribes certain phrasing as not only grammatically correct but 'the right thing to say' in a plethora of circumstances. If you don't know this, you will be seen as weird at best, rude at worst.

I promise there is a point to all this. In much the same way, austistic folk are seen as having no empathy or, slightly better, low empathy. The reason is not that we are dead inside or do not care about others but that we show our emotions differently and have trouble recognising non-verbal cues. In effect, we don't speak the language very well, so to say.

For allistic people, non-verbal conduct is so important that they see it as basically equal to the inner life of others. They can and will form flash judgments about the core of your being based on what they pick up from you and how they interpret your gestures, tone of voice, the direction of your gaze and so on and so forth. After they have done so they will resist vehemently any attempt to explain them they are wrong or even someone just had a really bad day and reacted poorly. Because they are not trained to think about their own thinking, they cannot but follow their instincts. In further enoucnters, they will interpret whatever it is you say along the lines of their initial judgments.

Do you know the cliché phrase about the importance of making a good first impression? Now you know why that is true: poor insight in human cognition and a lack of goodwill or benevolence.

How are we to understand the barrage of signals, words, gestures and other social cues that is fired at us constantly and that in real time? I will tell you right here and right now that most austistics are perfectly capble of forming connections and feeling for others. All we require is some time to process.

Some percentage of autistics have low (fine) motor control, which makes it hard to consciously move facial and other muscles. A lot of us are clumsy. If someone's smile seems forced that may very well be because they are working very hard to consciously pull of something that is demanded by society and is effortless for most people.

Admittedly, some of us are low-empathy or at least identify as such. I have no special insight into whether that is true or not on the inside. However, there is a marked difference between empathy, which is shown, and compassion, which is felt. It is compassion that, hopefully, drives our actions. Empathy can be part of our actions.

Compassion heals the world one person at a time. It can be compared to the soft light of the Moon that holds no agression or compelling force but does reach everywhere. No being is beyond our compassion. I'll probably write more about compassion in later posts.

Finally, I would like to say that sometimes a low-key approach to empathy is the right thing to do. I work in a team of six to eight people - depending on various matters - and have seen my fair share of hapiness and sorrow from my colleagues. It is noticeable that when someone has a really hard time at work, they tend to ask me to talk with them for a few minutes. My calmness and inquisitive questions apparently support them in a way they like. My voice barely changes in tone in such talks and I show no or few gestures. I simply allow them to be and listen to what they need to say.

How would our culture change if this was the normal or common response to hurt? Low empathy for the win! :-)

#autism #actuallyautistic #autistic adult #asd #autistic spectrum #late diagnosed autistic #autistic community #autistic pride #neurodiversity #neurodiversesquad #neurodivergent

[a-skirmish-of-wit-and-lit]

Book Review: Twice in a Lifetime by Melissa Baron

Part The Lake House, part The Midnight Library, and part butterfly effect, this book has a cross-genre aspect to it that makes it a time-crossed love story as well as an achingly raw life story that's populated with heavy themes and emotions. Tackling things like chronic depression and anxiety, it gives pulse to real struggles. It gives delicate depiction to the gains and setbacks that people who suffer from these conditions experience on a daily basis.

For that reason, it can be intense and despairing to read at times. Overwhelming. As a reader, you feel everything. You suffer everything the characters suffer. However, it's also hopeful in the way that it champions love, compassion, empathy, and finding one's support unit in the unlikeliest of people and places.

After moving from Chicago to a small cottage in a St. Louis suburb, in need of a fresh start after her mother dies from cancer, Isla starts receiving text messages from a man who claims to be her future husband. She's pretty resistant at first. Disbelieving, too. (Who wouldn't be? It sounds impossible.) But he changes her mind by sending her a photo of them on their wedding day and revealing details about her that nobody else knows.

After that, she relents and they cautiously start a texting relationship. She learns that Ewan is sweet, patient, funny, and good-looking. She can talk to him. He also seems to love her for who she is, which is something she has a hard time wrapping her mind around thanks to an anxiety disorder that keeps her self-worth toddled to LOW and her mind buzzing with subjectively perceived failures.

In part, that is why Ewan is reaching out. He is texting through time in order to try and save her from a dark fate he won't discuss but will result in them no longer being together.

So the question becomes: what can Isla do to prevent that fate from occurring? How can she learn to be happy in the present? Grow? Accept herself and overcome her bad mental health days? And if she does manage to veers paths, what will happen? Will she be able to meet and fall in love with Ewan twice in the same lifetime?

I liked that this wasn't simply a lighthearted love story. I appreciated the representation of mental health struggles, feeling keenly for Isla as she attempted to get a handle on her intrusive thoughts - sometimes succeeding, sometimes not. That felt realistic to me. It was lovely that Ewan was so kind and patient with her, too. I think it's important to see compassion represented because we could all learn how to be more supportive and understanding, especially when it comes to health conditions people are suffering from that are invisible.

The timeline structure and pacing could have been better, though. Isla and Ewan stumbled from texting strangers into "I love you" exchangers rather quickly and I would have preferred for there to have been a slower, more progressive build-up. There was also a narrative switch about halfway through that was jarring. Though I wasn't sorry to get some of Ewan's perspective, it felt like it came out of nowhere. Like a bolt of lightning that strikes when the sun is still shining. Perhaps it wouldn't have been as noticeable had the book been separated into two parts, but who's to say?

Overall a decent debut. It'll resonate with fans of The Midnight Library, for sure, because of its mental health focus.

Special thanks to NetGalley and Alcove Press for the ARC!

3/5 stars

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#ashlee bree's book reviews #twice in a lifetime #melissa baron #arcs #fantasy #romance #time travel #mental health #recs: ashlee approved! #read august 2022 #coming december 2002 #bookblr #book reviews