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cinnamonest · 2 years

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//pregnancy/birth + motherhood/heavy kids related stuff, forced cultural assimilation

I love the thought of rape babies that look nothing like you.

A little boy that's like a miniature version of his father. He has his eyes, his hair color, his facial structure and features. The spitting image of him and not a single feature that resembles you in any way.

He has the same personality too. Whether it's loud and rambunctious or quiet and brooding or anything in between, no matter how much you seem to try and direct his behavior, he's a shining example of nature over nurture because those tendencies still come out nonetheless. You do try. You try so hard to take every opportunity you can to instill gentleness and selflessness and yet that selfish, aggressive nature, whether it's subtle or blatant, rears its head all the same.

These include violent, forceful tendencies. You remember the way you once gave the whole hang on just a while, mommy's very busy right now line, the way his face turned to a scowl and he grabbed your arm with painful strength and pulled and said no, play with me now! in the most petulant, bratty little voice that takes you so off-guard because you have no idea what could have possibly instilled such entitlement except for pure genetics, something out of your control. The way you stammered and said you're hurting me and the fact that saying so didn't make his grip relent in the slightest -- the incident keeps you up at night for months to come.

It hurts, being forced to look at this thing that was sprouted inside you against your will. Every time you look at him you remember how you cried and tried so hard to squirm away, begging not to finish inside you, the way you whimpered when you felt your lover stop fucking you, grab your hips and hold you as close as possible to ensure you were filled with seed.

How scared you were, how it didn't feel real when you realized exactly what you were afraid of had come true. How you tried to convince yourself for a few months that your stomach wasn't getting bigger, that you weren't swelling, that the morning sickness and missed cycles were just a coincidence. All until it reached a point you couldn't deny it any longer, forced to face reality.

And then it happens again. Out comes another boy. Three boys. Four boys. The people in your life you're allowed to speak to even laugh and comment on it -- poor thing, they say. Must be a handful. They laugh and say it's incredible how they all managed to look the same too. You must have really weak genes or something, perhaps...?

You agree it's a handful. You don't mention the details -- that they have a level of violence with each other that frightens you, behaviors you never taught and made sure they weren't exposed to but somehow developed nonetheless. Start fighting over the smallest things, so ferociously you break it up out of genuine fear one is going to seriously hurt another.

They look nothing like you. Their names are those of a culture foreign to you -- their father insisted (although you still got to choose! You weren't familiar with any, so he got you a list of all the common ones to choose from), the clothes you dress them in and the ones you wear yourself now are equally so.

And every single time you're called on, get your clothes tugged on, when you tilt your head down or squat down to see what the matter is, you're met face-to-face with a perfect miniature replica of the same person responsible for all your humiliation and misfortune -- it makes you flinch, grimace, when you look them in the eye. You hope they don't notice. You know it's not their fault, even if you resent your situation. But looking at them still makes you feel a knot in your gut all the same.

And although you try to push the thought away, you can't help but wonder if one day, they'll do to someone else what was done to you. You see the tendencies start to sprout and develop, and no matter how hard you try to deter them, it seems to be in vain.

You try and tell the father -- the one who put you in all this misery to begin with -- that you can't take anymore, the next time you feel him come up behind you, trailing his hands up underneath your clothes, as you tense and freeze in place. Your mental state can't handle it. Surely what you have is enough.

Of course, you get guilt tripped, one way or another, depending on him, perhaps merely quiet sulking or more directly -- don't you love them? Don't you love him? And as much as you may want to be spiteful, at this point, you know better than to answer anything but in the affirmative.

Then you'll have as many as you can, of course. You're just getting yourself anxious over nothing, you'll be happy in the end... now come here and get bred again.

#scheduled post #yan.txt

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dangermousie · 4 months

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2023 brought us two epic, excellent dramas about devastating invasion of period Korea by foreign armies - My Dearest and Goryeo Khitan War. Watching Injo "handle" the Qing invasion and watching Hyeonjong handle the Khitan invasion makes me think of those old Goofus/Gallant kids' magazine lessons. My mind breaks imagining Injo showing one hundredth of smarts, selflessness and care for his people and his country that Hyeonjong does. In both cases, the country is overrun, the odds are grim, and the ruler blamed by some and protected by others. But the difference between how the two kings handle the disaster is stark. But then, this is the danger of absolute monarchy - it's a pure luck lottery, isn't it? You may get My Dearest's Injo or GK War Hyeonjong or anything in between and you have no choice.

Hyeonjong's reaction on being attacked by armed peasants on his escape to the south, and watching his soldiers and "his" peasants kill each other pointlessly, as the peasants try to capture him on orders of local lords who want to give him to Khitan to curry favor, is pretty amazing. The man has no fighting skills and very little in the way of protection, but he is insanely brave. But also - compassionate. His soldiers would probably win against the rabble but it would be his people who'd die, either way. Unlike vast majority of drama rulers, Hyeonjong (perhaps innately, or perhaps due to his monk outside palace upbringing) seems to get that loyalty and devotion are supposed to go both ways. (He is, ironically, the king the scholars in My Dearest wished and believed Injo was, and the king the Crown Prince could have been if he wasn't murdered.)

I love this! The narrative shows that he is not perfect, that he has a steep learning curve and that behind the walls of his capital, he had little knowledge or control about what went in the provinces (and bigger emergencies, tbh) but the crucial thing is when confronted with new information, he learns and he understands and he accepts when he's at fault and wants to do better.

He has a quality almost unique in a fictional absolute ruler (and likely real ones also) - empathy.

This is AMAZING.

This is pretty much unimaginable for a royal, and one who rules by a divine right equivalent of sacred royal blood etc. I love him!

But the thing is, he's not a soft person, not really - not against people he believes he needs to take down. That display of royal arrogant temper against the traitor lords is DELICIOUS!!!!

The thing is, with all of this, he never comes across as a preachy patterncard, he just comes across as a truly good human being. Kudos to the writer!

#kdrama #goryeo khitan war #kim dong jun

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beautifulpersonpeach · 7 months

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is so cute how jm keeps promoting and supporting jk bpp! they love and support each other, jk even said how jm promotes 3d on live. it makes me scratch my head how pjms say they want jm to stop promoting other members. i saw their pages in the tags. all they do is talk about jk and other members dragging them. all the time. they don't even talk about jm a lot, only jk and scandals and hoping bad things happen to jk and they want jm to stop promoting him. don't they know jm? you know how ppl say like idols like fans bpp? i've never seen fans so not like their idol like pjms and jm. they act like everything jm says he hates. how can they be like this?

Ask 2:

bpp i'm the same anon for pjm and jm. one pjm even said if they were jm's friend they want to tell him to not promote jk. why are they like this? can you pls explain this to me? i'm trying to understand them.

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Hi Anon,

Are you asking me to explain akgae psychology to you?

Because if you are, I want to preface this by saying you're wasting your time observing people like that. Akgaes are just awful people who happen to develop a superficial hyper-fixation on an idol. Their attachment to their idol is superficial because it's so narcissistic. Their behaviours are more a reflection of their natural states than anything to do with Jimin or even how they see him.

It's why a PJM can think Jimin, who has said on camera more than once that he cuts off real-life friends who talk badly about BTS, why that PJM can unironically think they, a random 'fan', would get a listening ear from Jimin to tell him he should stop posting Jungkook on his Instagram.

Like, it's not even that they're delusional. It's that they're just really shitty people.

It's why they worship and idolize Jimin so much, putting him on a pedestal for being oh so selfless. The reality is that while Jimin is generally a very considerate person, he's not Mother Theresa (as she was known in her lifetime not the reveal afterwards lol). Most of what PJMs place on a pedestal is just Jimin being a decent human being and acting in ways other members have done at some point in different circumstances. But for them, it's the pinnacle of altruism because they can't relate. They can't imagine themselves being that kind or that decent, they can't even begin to picture the sort of relationship Jimin says he has with BTS members because they've got no analogs in their real lives. Akgaes are like judgy old nuns who pick people apart over the smallest human slights, and they actually enjoy being hateful. Hating is 90% of the reason they're here. Their happiness for Jimin stems from him introducing them to a world of six other people in the group plus their millions of fans for them to hate. Jimin has practically supplied them with a lifetime of hate fuel.

For an akgae, there's no bigger jackpot.

Nobody has to like someone because someone else likes them. It's fine if they (or anyone) dislike Jungkook, other BTS members and/or anyone Jimin says he respects. But the difference with an akgae is that their dislike of BTS members is tied to their love of Jimin, shown by the amount of time and attention they devote towards hating, disparaging, and actively looking to harm those members, while in the same breath imagining they're Jimin's friends and buddy buddy enough to tell him to ditch the members. Ditto for the other member akgaes because they all think the same way.

It's frankly kind of hilarious but also a bit psychopathic because all their actions show is that they don't actually like Jimin. They don't like who he is and what he does. They tolerate him because associating with him helps them achieve other goals through him, plus because they don't actually know him, they're more than fine believing that their own version of him is true to life.

This is also how shooters within ARMY approach BTS as a whole, relative to the wider music industry. The common thread that connects people like this, is that they aren't here for the right reasons.

But, as with all things in fandom, c'est la vie.

Jikook will still keep jikooking because nothing - not rain, not shine, not hail, not tornadoes, typhoons, droughts, floods, or tsunamis, will ever stop Jimin from gushing about Jungkook. And vice versa.

Jikook are just built different. And everybody else will just have to deal.

#jikook #jimin #jungkook #bts solo stans #bts chapter 2 #fandom behaviour

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dave2olkat · 6 months

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Hey, are you up for receiving an entire freaking essay about how you write Dirk and how fucking incredible it is? That was a rhetorical question, YOU'RE GETTING IT ANYWAY.

So. Dirk Strider. The absolute moron who sends himself back every iteration, gets increasingly splintered as a result, and is way too emotionally compromised to do anything about it at this point. I've noticed a lot of the characters draw inspiration from beyond canon, so we can refer to this Dirk as a sort of Ultimate self if I am not mistaken. The guy has memories from all past iterations rattling around his skull after all, and it is MESSING HIM UP BIG TIME!

Like, the man is going by a script at this point. Do this, and this happens as a result. Say this to a person and they'll react that way. Let Roxy leave so you can stay with Dave alone, stab him in the back, and leave him for dead so he gets off the empire's radar, make sure he doesn't actually bite it, and then he'll end up in the position most advantageous to him. He has a ship! A crew! A small support system! He's living his best life this iteration, and he has DIRK to thank for that! Never mind that most of his relationships were completely destroyed in the fallout. Never mind that he has accumulated major trauma from the carapacian war, and was betrayed by someone who he thought he could count on for anything, that's not important. Oh yeah, he hates Dirk's guts now, but he always calculated with that loss. He sacrificed his brother's trust in him and it sucks, it sucks and nobody understands, but it was to give him a happy life, so at the end of the day Dirk's the selfless hero!

And with that, I've accumulated my thoughts on what I think went through his head when he went through with this batshit awful plan. Dirk's literally so wrapped up in himself, that he can only think in terms of other's gain versus personal cost. I don't think he's selfish, no, from a certain perspective, he's far from it, because he's sacrificing the few things he holds dear for the few people he actually gives a shit about in all these loops. His relationships with said people. It's just that he is INCAPABLE of seeing how his decisions and attempts at helping them cause more pain and anguish, and eventually, the doom of the timeline. It's like at one point, he stopped seeing them as real people, with psyches that can be damaged, and feelings that can be things beyond 'I hate you now because you hurt me', and instead thinks of them as merely... puppets.

Because he's the only one who remembers. He's the one who can see the bigger picture, while his friends and family are caught up in the mundanity of each loop, living lesser lives, being lesser people. If only they knew, if only they understood like him, maybe they could be on equal footing, but no, he'd never wish this existence on anyone, and besides, even if they had all that intel they'd never really get it, because they aren't him. So it falls on him to save everyone, him and only him, no Grimmage, just because you have a handy helmet that spouts bullshit about the loops at you does not mean you have all the answers. This is Dirk's mission, Sollux would just fuck it up. Everybody needs to stay out of the goddamn way, you're saving this goddamn timeline. All those previous ones you doomed? They were just test runs, you know what you're doing now.

I just... LOVE how AUTHENTIC he feels in your fic. Like, I look at this guy and say 'Ah yes, that right there is textbook Dirk Strider behavior,' but you wrote him with motivations and a mindset that I can see combined with his Ultimate status. He's an incredible antagonist, and I can't wait for him to show up again, because I need Dave to go up to this guy and somehow slap some sense into him. Unlikely but hey. I want a happy ending for him too, let me hope.

Okay, first of all, I loved this ask! I've put a lot of time and effort into writing Gold Pilot so if anyone has other essay-length asks or comments about the fic, go ahead and submit them, this monster AU deserves the attention. For anyone who hasn't read the fic, it's a Davesolkat Rebellion/Time Loop Au but it also will go deep into the other characters as well, particularly the Strider-Lalondes, so if you're into that, give it a read!

Okay, now onto Dirk- he's one of my fav characters in Homestuck okay, he's so complex! And I felt like they did him dirty in Beyond Canon and the Epilogues but at the same time they explored some hella interesting aspects of his character that have been in the main comic there all along, same with everyone else. Gold Pilot is MY take on how everyone's true 'Ultimate Self' would work and also them reaching their 'fullest potential' in a way? The situation is much different than in canon, of course, but overall I will try to deconstruct both, the Ultimate Self thing AND the classpect of their God Tier selves. This will happen to everyone, not just Davesolkat, though we WILL focus on those three because I have Davesolkat brainrot and Dave WILL be the only POV character because ‘unreliable narrator who might not have an idea of what’s going on’ is the best trope.

But Dirk- it's funny that you call him an antagonist because he's not that in the story. An antagonist opposes the hero/protagonist in some way, they're there as an obstacle to achieve their ultimate goal, but here's the thing, Dirk WANTS what everyone else wants. He wants an end to the Time Loops, he wants to protect his family and friends and help them reach the best version of themselves, and he also wants to kill the Condesce. Mainly because she's the one who kills Dave, Roxy and Rose, but also, because he recognizes that she's the TRUE threat in this AU (as far as we know). So no, technically, Dirk ISN'T the villain and he's helping everyone else fullfill their own goals, the role they will play in the Rebellion as it is, and he knows full well that they WON'T achieve that unless he's there to provide support.

You're right that he's sacrificing everything else to achieve this. He sacrificed Dave's trust on him, and Dave IS in probably the best position he can be because of it. Does Dave realize this at this point of the story? Probably not. There's hints that Dirk's actually going to be working with them further in on the timeline, but right now? Right now Dave thinks his brother is the person who ruined his life.

You're right in saying that Dirk's so completely wrapped up in himself, but I don't think he's incapable of seeing how his attempts at helping everyone are actually hurting them. I think he's well aware of this, and a part of him is well-aware that none of them will ever forgive him, but he's fine with this because this makes him an even more selfless hero. He does treat them as puppets, but I think he knows that he NEEDS them to be certain versions of themselves so they can properly fight the Condesce. Also, he's aware that even in this, they have a certain level of personal choice. Would he have been forced to stab Dave on the back if he HADN'T become a Treschutioner? We know Dave could have become an entertainer guy instead, and he would have STILL ended up with the Rebels. We've explored this with the Iteration Logs of the Solluxes, but the timelines are less a straight road where everything always happens the same way and more a collection of choices that give out wildly different results while still ending in the same way any way because the Condesce is such a menace, with everyone dead.

And he's another fun thing, Dirk doesn't ACTUALLY know about the helmet. Sollux has specifically kept him in the dark about it because he's convinced Dirk would exploit it if he knew about it, especially because the helmet's not only a device that spouts info about the timeloops. It's a goddamn database containing the research that EVERYONE Sollux has been able to contact has done in the past, what? 286 years or so. So yes, it's quite a powerful tool, but you're right, Mage doesn't have all the answers. And you can say that Mage's actually some kind of cheat code. It allows Sollux to have access to the memories of the loops WITHOUT all the trauma and emotional baggage that come with them, so if anything, I suppose that Dirk would think of it as the coward's way out.

Sollux quite literally decided to divide himself into two different people (or as different as two people can be when one does have all the memories of the other one) and has basically locked the part of himself that DOES remember in a digital prison/dimension, where it cannot harm anyone or control anyone else. What this has done to Mage, well, I think we’ve seen it already, so yes, one could argue that this is an incredibly selfish thing that Sollux did, meanwhile Dirk isn’t afraid to live with the consequences of his own actions, which automatically makes him the better man/hero.

As far as Dirk knows, Sollux DOES remember, he's just, you know, someone who will not do what is necessary to save the timeline. He's soft, he spends so much time trying to get along with everyone that he allows the people he loves to get killed every single time (though Dirk's doing the exact same thing, one could argue). They're more foils to each other that they're enemies, and it will be a lot of fun once we actually see them interact, because while Dirk does think Sollux is as easily manipulated as everyone else, and that he doesn't have what it takes to save everyone which is why it falls on HIM, Dirk does know that Sollux is the only person who knows him in a way. Who can recognize the sacrifice he's making and just what's at stake here, if he doesn't take exactly the same path he's taken every time to ensure everyone will be able to fight for as long as they can.

You're right on the money on the 'Dirk thinking all the other iterations are test runs for the real deal', because Dirk HAS found pretty much the 'best path' for everyone to take. We'll see more of it when we meet Rose, who IS still a very powerful seer in this AU and who also takes after him in a way, but yeah, the fantastic thing about Dirk is that he IS helping everyone and he does care. He's on Dave's side. He just, you know, also Dirk. That's why I've always found fascinating about his character, and what I liked about him in the actual comic. I feel like Beyond Canon let go of that fundamental part of him (the fact that he DOES care) and I'm using Gold Pilot to basically fix that? Basically how I think it should've been handled.

As for the happy ending- I don't think it's much of a spoiler that Gold Pilot WILL have one, because it's in the tags themselves lmao. 'Earn Your Happy Ending', they will get there, but it will take them a long time, and it won't happen in this iteration even. Dave WILL slap some sense into Dirk, but who knows, maybe it'll be Dirk who slaps some sense into him too before he does.

Once again, thank you for this analysis! I wouldn't say I'm the authority on how to write any of the Homestuck Characters, but I'm glad I at least got Dirk's character right :) as I said, he's one of my faves and his relationship with Dave will be explored and milked for all of its angst and comfort in this fanfic.

#homestuck #hom3stuck #homestuck fanfic #dirk strider #sollux captor #dave strider #gold pilot au #alec answers

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lovesitcomsandgaystuffs · 2 years

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Iruazz issay.

First of all I want to clarify that this essay is NOT mine, I didn't write it, it's an essay I read a long time ago on Reddit (about a year ago) and I wanted to share it here because I find it very interesting.

As some of you may know, the ship I ship with Iruma is Iruazz and in this prolonging essay I will discuss why. My favorite part about this ship is the pure layers of depth it dives into especially when it comes to selflessness. I don't think I need to elaborate on Iruma's part since all is clear, but I find Asmodeus' part to be somewhat misunderstood. I find Asmodeus to be the character to have the most development and development potential. He undergoes 3 major developmental arcs.

The first and most impressive is his transformation as a person regarding morality. Thanks to Iruma he slowly starts losing his selfishness towards others and becomes a better person: growing closer and losing his biast distaste towards the abnormal class, seeing ranks in a whole new light, etc. I am of the opinion that exact quality is what infatuates Asmodeus most about Iruma: his compassion. We've seen that he most admires Iruma's inner strength and kindness. In fact, I believe that it's been like that from the start. After being defeated, Asmodeus states that he 'appreciates' (in the manga) and 'is moved by' (in the anime) Iruma carrying him to the infirmary, an indication of particularily emphasizing Iruma's selflessness and kindness. He also seems to be the first to realize this trait in him and mention it.

The second significant development is him developing to let Iruma go. At the start we see Asmodeus alongside Clara spying on Iruma, yet prior to doing so, he showed reluctancy. That gave indications of the potential to develop, which he did: understanding and deciding to not do things for Iruma but letting him go for it himself during the volleyball game, learning to believe and trust Iruma to be on his own and entrusting his feelings to him throughout the harvest festival, and if he hasn't developed enough yet, he definitely has the potential to in the future. Yet, a subject I must shed light on is the absolute FACT that Iruazz will never become canon and in actuality could not (exactly why will be elucidated on down below). Asmodeus also cannot be developed all too much as to not exceed Clara as it is clear they will both hold equal positions in Iruma's relationships if not Clara more as a love interest that has the possiblity of becoming canon.

The third development revolves around him growing to not throw himself into danger mindlessly for Iruma, having realized that would harm Iruma more. For the sake of Iruma and not causing him guilt, he shows signs of no longer stupidly putting himself in danger's path unless absolutely necessary. Aside from these points he undergoes minor pieces of development also, but I wished to state these because they show just how significant Iruma's impact on Asmodeus was, changing his entire personality and him as a person as a whole.

But here's what makes Asmodeus stand out as a character most for me.

We've all seen those characters that fangirl over another or have an obsession for them, yet Asmodeus differs greatly from them by such a small detail that most miss yet that has such a strong effect. The less significant difference is the fact that his admiration isn't based on false factors and also isn't toxicly possessive since he just wants what's best for Iruma, but the bigger detail is just how deep Asmodeus' selfnessness goes. There are characters that are extremely selfless for another, but I've found one thing that differs Alice from them. As the manga has shown in tiny details Asmodeus almost irrefutably has feelings for Iruma, yet unlike all the other characters aforementioned, he does not expect more than friendship. Those characters all actively express their feelings to their fancied person in hopes to be requited, yet that is not the case with our decorous incubus.

The reasons could vary from not finding himself worthy or maybe even believing he couldn’t make Iruma happy in love to knowing Iruma has the likeliness of saying yes either way, but in any case he doesn't express his feelings and never will. The closest thing to fighting over him has been with Clara but that seems to be concerned with worry as to what will happen to Iruma with Valac rather than jealousy. It is more than likely that Alice would help search for a worthy partner or at least stand by and watch with nothing but painful happiness for Iruma.

Here I would also like to give a short paragraph on what I think Azz' future will be. I find the chapter with Alice's vision: 'A future to look forward to' rather ironic since in actuality Alice doesn't even get that much out of that future. Either way he would be the heir to one of the thirteen crowns therefore position isn't much. The only thing he gets is being by Iruma's side forever, but that is exactly all he wants and could ask for: being by Iruma's side and seeing him happy. Personally, I really like the idea of Asmodeus having that secret, subtle tragic ending and I really hope they don't just pair him off with someone to say 'oh look, he's happy too' since I find that to be unrealistic.

Exactly why can't Iruazz be canon?

Well, the beauty of this particular ship is that it's a slow burn relationship that requires a series of abundant development; something the manga simply can't afford so as to not distract from its feel-good and light-hearted feel.

Something interesting and unique I find about Alice is that he isn't just blindly admiring Iruma, as we've seen him doubt Iruma at times as examples of him being unbiased and seeing Iruma's flaws, hence him most likely to be Iruma's right-hand man and advisor in the future. As evidence, at the demon ball he agrees with Ameri when she disapproves of Iruma attending the Sabbath, which can show that Alice can doubt Iruma’s choices

This leads me to talk about Iruma's part. The one thing that doesn't come naturally to Iruma is self-regard and I find Asmodeus to be the best person to help him with that. Asmodeus' constant encouragement has at times and could be what helps Iruma develop into appreciating himself, gaining confidence and seeing the good in himself , not just others. An interesting piece of development could be a simple realization on Iruma's side that Asmodeus' admiration isn't him placing him on a pedastal and isn't based on untrue grounds.

I also found something rather humorous: whilst spying on Iruma, Asmodeus exclaimed in tears how Iruma was charming the president for the sake of his friends. I remember laughing and thinking 'oh Azz, that's so silly', but then in the 'Royal one' arc Iruma does in fact do that. This was just an interesting thought I discovered and found funny. I also find it amusing that sometimes Alice misunderstands Iruma to be more ambitious but oftentimes it turns out to be true, as Iruma is in fact ambitious, in my opinion.

Another thing I really like about this relationship is the slow pace it has. I love how Asmodeus is constantly working towards trying to understand Iruma and I find that gradual growth involving tripping and falling yet getting up and continuing towards that final goal - coming to understand each other conpletely - to be rather satisfying. I love the possible idea of them gradually developing to the point of understanding each other fully and predicting each others' selflessness in the future as ways of helping each other.

I find their chemistry to be rather unique alongside their encouragement and mutual support. I love how both are dense on different levels, Iruma being a little dumb but observant of others, while Asmodeus is intelligent yet not the most acute. They are both a good fit because they interact with each other unconditionally as in.. they don't expect anything from each other except what the other is willing to give them (which is basically their time and attention)

Of course Alice wants to impress Iruma and get praised, but that is only part of his reason to move forward as he simply wants to stay by Iruma's side and support him. I find his need for praise to come from his desire to find himself wiorthy of being Iruma’s indestructible spear and him wanting to prove that.

Iruma doesn't 'want' attention - lots of love and affection - but that does seem to be what he needs in my honest opinion.

I just love the idea of two people who would forget their own selves and do anything for the other and just want to be by each others' side which are the vibes I get from this particular ship.

But no ship is perfect and Iruazz is absolutely no exception. It has its fair share of flaws and I actually find one of the major ones to be rather cute surprisingly enough. I adore the fact that they both are so selfless for each other that they would constantly do anything for one another and make each other guilty. I just love that constant cycle of 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry!' to one another as 'arguments' and find it hilarious and even relatable.

So, in short do I find Asmodeus to be the best match for Iruma? Absolutely not. I kind of want to talk about shipping in general now on account of having discovered something not too long ago. All these reasons stated above, in reality, don't even matter. Finding reasons for a ship isn't exactly difficult and how good those reasons are don't really matter either, it's what you do with those reasons that matters. Basically, I took a look at shipping from a writer's perspective and thought to myself: take a ship that is practically perfect with perfect reasons and chemistry but you can't do anything with it and take a ship that is flawed to the max but has the potential for incredible storyline; which is better?

It's all about what that ship inspires you to create, regardless of reasons. Every ship is good in its own way, as long as there isn't some big fat wall of logic slapping it in the face- and hey, oftentimes that wall can be sidestepped (might just get in the way of the story and mess with the quality of the storyline but still). After all, this is love we're talking about here and love doesn't need always a reason or to be perfect. I find the most important think about shipping to be the storyline that comes with it first and foremost, after which lack of clichéity (is that a word????) comes and- Heck! Even that doesn't matter. Someone can take an incredibly cliché dynamic of, say, haters to lovers coffe shop AU and write a storyline so unique it triumphs over any other eccentric dynamic.

There could be an abundance of stories for a ship yet one sole story for another can take the cake. And since everyone gets inspired to create content and write for different things and tastes, there is no 'best ship', just like there is no 'best girl' (Keima, don't come at me) or 'best boy'. In these cases I say "count your blessings, not others' flaws". Maybe you like and get inspired by an iconic ship like Iruclara, or an wholesome and incredibly cute one like Irumeri, or maybe something wholesomely disturbing like Irukiri is more your style, or maybe you're like me and get inspired and touched by the idea of deep, selfless and unconditional love like Iruazz. Whatever the case, know that if it inspires you to create, then it's already a great ship, be it rarepair or canon.

#the autor gave me permission to post it <33 #mairimashita! iruma kun #mairuma #m!ik #welcome to demon school iruma kun #suzuki iruma #asmodeus alice #alice asmodeus #iruazz #asmodeus x iruma

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throughthevenuslookingglass · 1 year

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Love letter 010123

Dear Jun Keat,

I’ve thought about what happened, and I feel a myriad of emotions every time. Hurt, anger, confusion, disappointment, betrayal..? I kept asking myself. Why did you wait till the new year to break the news? Why didn’t you think you could work on yourself when you were in a relationship? Why didn’t you fight for us to be together? Did that mean that everything you said about our plans for the future were false? I honestly didn’t think I would react the way I did, but when you dropped the bomb, I was in a state of shock. I had absolutely not expected it. Just the day before, you introduced me in person as your girlfriend to 3 new people. We talked about going on more trips, visiting new cafes, meeting my friends. I sincerely and wholeheartedly believed we were going to be together for the longest time, the kind of relationship till death do us part.

But then I realised I was being selfish. Just like how I was so used to being alone, you were not. Somehow I was holding you back. Most people don’t have that kind of self awareness, and I’m proud of you for realising what you have. After all, true growth and healing start from within. I can only imagine the struggle you had to go through growing up without a dad, having to take care of your family, without much guidance, with so much responsibility placed upon your shoulders. You are so selfless to the point of neglecting your own emotional needs. I’ve told you before, it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. It’s not the end of the world if you prioritise yourself. Your family, your friends, they will understand. Make them understand. If all else fails, screw them. You’re better off without them anyway. Though from what I can tell, your mum, your brother, the gang, all seem like the kind of people who would not abandon you for any reason.

I’m so sorry you felt that you need to be alone in this journey, that I wouldn’t be able to help you heal, give you comfort and support as a lover and not a friend, or give you a safe space to be open about your feelings. Of course I don’t want to get in the way of your personal evolution. You taught me to be the bigger person. You taught me countless other things and I am so immensely grateful for that.

This past month, in all honesty I kept doubting my feelings. I had to bite my tongue many a time to prevent those 3 little words from slipping out. Was I falling too fast? Was I ready? Still, I wanted to be a hundred percent sure and not say it half-heartedly so instead I said it silently, in my heart, each time our eyes found each other, after every goodnight, slowly getting used to the fact. Till it was in fact, a fact. I didn’t expect something like this to be the final trigger, a last ditch desperate attempt. With you, I am free from ego, I have nothing to lose by being myself around you. As I’ve said before, relationships should be easy as breathing, like I felt mine was with you. So no matter how much I love you, I need to let you go.

There is however, a glimmer of hope in me, that we will find our way back together, that this separation is just temporary. And if it’s truly meant to be, it will be so. Hope is a dangerous thing. It is a lifeline to cling on to, that in a way prevents one from being consumed by the eternal abyss. I hope you find it within yourself to be straight with me if there is none. So I can process it, grieve, heal, and try my best to let it go.

I wish you all the best in the journey of finding peace within yourself. Wong Jun Keat, you deserve a million things and more. I love you

#personal #wow I actually got broken up with on New Year’s Day #just wanted to get this off my chest #the only person who knows is my mum

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withloveajaxx · 2 years

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WHY KAZUHA IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE PLAYER IN GENSHIN IMPACT!!

(500+ words utc)

first of all, i think he has such a pure heart and soul. he cares about other around him so much and that in itself makes him very attractive already <33 he goes above and beyond to make sure you're safe, comfortable, and most importantly, happy. you are one of the things he treasures most, and like the attractive character he very much is, he is willingly to give anything and everything up for your health and well being.

his selflessness and whole devotion to you, his beloved, is something that i believe you all think is very attractive.

second of all i feel like he's such a creative man. his vocabulary is bigger than my will to live and his word choice is just amazing. do you know how much brain cells it takes to create haikus or poems??? with how effortlessly kazuha could do it, he has a huge brain and that's very attractive as well.

speaking of how creative he is, he'd compliment and show his love for you in the most inventive ways possible. his exhibition of his adoration for you does not stop at haikus and poems. his hands may be scarred and calloused from his life of battle but they are also capable of making the most exquisite things. picture necklace made out of shells he's picked up from lands he's come across when sailing with beidou's crew. imagine flower crowns woven with freshly picked flowers he spots on his way visiting your home. you can't tell me his way of showing his love is not cute or attractive.

third, he's adventurous. he's an explorer, a wanderer, and he will willingly experience and go to new places with you. kazuha loves adventures so he'd be very fun to be with. he's the type of person who i feel would gently push you out of your comfort zone little by little.

fourth, do you have eyes??? HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN??? he is absolutely stunning, show stopping, drop dead gorgeous. imagine raking your hands through his pretty hair :(( tying his hair in its usual ponytail whenever he's tired :(( . staring into his charming ruby eyes and watching them crinkle oh so cutely whenever he smiles <33 even when asleep this man is beautiful. the way his features are peaceful, relaxed. his hair is a bit tousled and messy and yet he still looks stunning. even in the mornings, when everyone is usually disheveled, kazuha looks picture perfect. his hair is all fuzzy and his clothes are wrinkled from tossing and turning in bed but those are all overshadowed by the blinding smile that graces his features.

fifth. his voice is the sweetest lullaby you will EVER hear in your lifetime. when he talks to you, his tone is always gentle, full of love and adoration. even when he's upset he never raises his voice, never calls you names, and will never insult you. he uses his soft and charming voice to shower you with compliments, to tell you about the wonders he's discovered, to recite the billions of haikus he's written about you. he speaks to you with the greatest reverence and respect because after all, his only beloved deserves the absolute best.

@dawndelion-winery PLEASE.

#iely talking #iely plays ebg

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graceerodgers · 1 year

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Django Unchained: Character Analysis

If it were up to me, I would definitely say I am the hero in my own story. Many people may love to think they're the good guy in their life but I truly believe I hold heroic characteristics. Everyone has their flaws, even your favorite superhero, so I would never use one example or a single situation to evaluate someone's character. The bigger picture means everything. In my opinion. I think Django Freeman is definitely the hero in the movie Django unchained. He portrays many selfless acts of kindness on top of his bravery and determination to find the love of his life. Throughout the movie we see him do things like kill and lie, and if you were only given that small portion of information it would be easy to detect him as an anti-hero but would an anti-hero risk his life trusting the word of a bounty hunter just to attempt and find his wife?

DJango Freeman is the protagonist of the 2012 film, “Django Unchained.” Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, the film tells the story of Django, a slave who becomes a bounty hunter to rescue his wife and get revenge on those who've wronged him in the past. Played by Jamie Foxx, Django is a complex character with an interesting backstory and strong morals. He is introduced as a slave, shackled and being transported by a group of white slave traders. In the beginning scenes of the movie, Django is portrayed with a very stoic demeanor. The lack of personality and dialogue was used to show the power dynamics at hand. He was chained to a group of other enslaved men and had no power in the presence of this white slave trader. Django's true character emerges when he is released from his shackles by Dr. King Shultz, a bounty hunter in need of help.Schultz kills the transporters and frees the rest of the slaves. Django is hesitant around Dr. Schultz before learning more about his true motives yet still went with him. We can assume he took this as an opportunity to become a free man and bring him a step closer to finding his wife.

After making a deal with Schultz to help him find the Brittle brothers we see the two start to create a partnership. Django and Dr. Schultz built a close relationship built off of mutual respect and admiration. Schultz sticks up for Django and his safety was always in his best interest. Django takes advantage of this opportunity and is determined to find the brittle brothers, also the men responsible for previously torturing him and his wife. We learn more about his backstory through flashbacks and see why he is so determined to find his wife and help Schultz. At 35m:49s we are introduced to the brittle brothers and a new side of Django’s character is revealed for the first time. As John Brittle turns around, Django shoots him in the chest and says “I like the way you die boy’ as he falls to the ground. For a newly freed African American man this was more than an act of courage. He gets revenge on them by then whipping the other brother the same way they've done to Broomhilda, Django's wife, then proceeds to shoot him in the head.

Some may say this is the moment in the film where Django becomes the Anti- hero, but I disagree. Django is a newly freed African American man and is not used to making his own decisions. He was simply following the directions of his ‘owner’ so how much blame can we REALLY put on Django himself? We learn through a flashback how these men also tortured his wife and would not stop no matter how much he begged. The people around him may think he is a villain but he lives in a time where African Americans are always going to be the villains, but in reality, Django is far from being the real villain in the storyline.

After his first kill of the film, we see Django get more comfortable with the use of a gun and his role as a bounty hunter. Django's character encompasses a strong moral code. Dr. Schultz tries to come up with a plan to get onto the plantation that Broomhilda is being held on by her slave owner, Calvin Candie, the true villain in this film. Schultz suggests Django act as a black slaver. Django says himself “ain't nothing lower than a black slaver.” It goes against what he believes in after years of torturous treatment from slave owners and he had to play the same role to save his wife from these same people. Calvin Candie is a rich slave owner who is in the Mandingo business. A business where one would have their slaves fight to the death for their own entertainment. He owns Django’s wife and refuses to sell him to her. The actions Django takes that some may see as villainous are actually just steps to save his wife from the real villain.

In the end, Django achieves his goal of finding and saving his wife, but couldn't have done it without Dr.Schultz. He goes through a painful journey to reach the only thing that matters to him and when he succeeds in the end, it shows the audience how determined he was to save his wife. It highlights the fact that his wife is his main priority and the whole movie is essentially surrounded around her. Even before he was set free by Dr.Schultz we knew that he was still trying to find his wife, but then used his newfound relationship with him as an opportunity to find her. He overcomes many obstacles and faces many people who see him as the enemy and could possibly take his life. As the movie progresses we see more and more examples of him being a serious, determined, and skilled character which contributes to the aspects of the movie. Through Django’s story, Tarantino portrays an accurate and interesting demonstration of slavelike times and can use this film as a way to show people the true horrors of slavery and racism.

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the-24-hour-cinderella · 2 years

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i can't remember if i sent you any questions in earlier or not but i meant to so, if didn't could you answer: A3, A8, B5, C6, D8, E1, F10 pleaaase. if i did, please disregard and hi! hahaha

Oh hiya! I haven’t seen the earlier question, I hope that doesn’t mean tumblr ate the ask

A3: Favorite protagonist(s)?

This is a difficult question, but I would have to go with Kiryu and Shinada. I just enjoy how they are personality wise. Kiryu is just a selfless and kind person who do what it takes to make sure his loved ones are safe and happy, even if it may not be the best outcome. Honestly it’s just intimidating guy + heart of gold + children he would do anything to protect = my type of favorite character where I tear up when he’s tender with children

Now as for Shinada, I just find him endearing and tragic. In the very first scene he appears, he’s such a mess and quite charming in how he is. Then there is the tragedy in that as a former baseball player, very much a civilian, he would likely be no where in proxmity to any yakuza, but he’s embroiled at the center of something bigger then himself and he’s the one who had to pay for it even if he genuinely had no idea what was happening and was just doing his thing. He then has to spend all those years struggling by and it’s seen then in the scene with Milky-Chan on the rooftop on how he wishes to escape to a new life and his earnestness is bittersweet to see in that scene. The sadness in his expression at being grounded right back into reality upon Milky-chan answering her phone shows how much he believed in running away to start a new life. He’s such an earnest and fun character with a tragic story to him.

A8: Favorite song(s)?

24 hour Cinderella (taps name), tonight, as long as you’re happy, pride from despair, machine gun kiss, and all of Haruka’s songs in Y5. It’s honestly quite difficult to choose just a few. If I had to only pick one from these it would be pride from despair if only for the fact it’s a Kiryu-Majima duet and honestly? The melody rocks so much as well as the lyrics which honestly sounds tragic given that it’s becoming stronger through painful events? That’s just if I were to try ranking these songs, though overall I still would put these songs together as my favorites altogether.

Also for songs that aren’t karaoke, I would go for Let’s produce a no. 1 hostess (y3), nervousness (y4), as you like (y0), all the disco songs from y0, all the songs from Haruka’s dance battles (y5), receive you the madtype (yk1), Takumi 2016 (yk1), and in a dead heat (yk1).

I clearly can’t quite pick a few songs, it’s liking choosing a favorite child…

B5: Which character do you think you would bump heads with most if you knew them in real life?

I’ll be honest. Probably Kiryu lmao. He’s well meaning for sure and he’s got good intentions. But. The. Number. Of. Times. I wanted to shake this man for being way too kind to antagonists. Stop turning away from them Kiryu! At least take the gun away…

There are other moments where I have the urge to kick him for sure though I probably wouldn’t be able to do anything but provide a soft kick he would not even feel at all.

C6: If you could revive any deceased character, who would it be and why?

Nishiki Nishiki Nishiki. I miss him. Going into Yakuza 0 blind, I was thinking to myself on how excited I was to see how Nishiki progressed through the games. Then Yakuza 1 rolls around. I just imagine how it would have been like if he stuck around and yes he did a lot in yakuza Kiwami 1, I just sometimes wish he lived and maybe just went to prison and over the games he and Kiryu slowly mend their relationship in some way. Though that’s just me. A ton of characters died in YK1 yet Nishiki impacted me the most given how dedicated he was to helping Kiryu in Yakuza 0 and it did not help that in my time playing YK1, a friend brought back lines from Yakuza 0 that foreshadowed how he’ll be in YK1. Just Nishiki. I miss him :(

D8: Which character had the absolute worst moveset?

Haha. So Shinada is one of my favorite protagonists. I did mention that earlier right. Well I love him but god his moveset is my least favorite out of all protagonists. That action where he attacks opponents in a way akin to him swinging a baseball? It’s a cool detail but it bugs me. Aiming a hit at an opponent felt difficult. And I found it difficult to control the direction of his meteor tackle. He was just not easy to control. If it weren’t for the fact that I needed money in his part, I would have put more effort into avoiding fights.

E1: Explore: Kamurocho or Sotenbori?

Kamurocho all the way. Going through all the games, it provides this feeling of nostalgia seeing how it changes over time, even if admittedly I only started playing the series back in May. I just have a soft spot for Kamurocho especially for the events that happened there and places such as the Millennium Tower. Then just the characters that are consistently there such as Date, the stardust hosts Yuya and Kazuki, Ako from Earth Angel, they all make the place lively and enjoyable to go back to in each game to see what they’re all up to.

F10: Who would be your kyodai?

Honestly I don’t know? I did try thinking this through but I can’t quite come up with any character who I would want to be my kyodai. Probably would suck too since I would bite the dust relatively fast so no clear answer on this one

#ask #thank you too for asking!#I also had some trouble with saving my answers and tumblr deleting some of my answers by accident #so if anything looks out of place or is weirdly formatted that’s probably from having a tussle with tumblr and losing

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thatnerdyqueer · 7 months

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lmao ok so I just finished watching V for Vendetta

and I have a lot of ThoughtsTM

before you read HUGE TW OK. homophobia, transphobia, racism, antisemitism

Ok so I should preface this by saying the movie itself isn't homophobic, transphobic, particularly racist (as far as I know, I'm white so I've probably missed stuff and I apologise if I have), antisemetic (but again, maybe I missed stuff) or any of that.

in fact in my opinion it was an amazing, and extrememly terrifying movie.

But, it did feel like watching a highlight reel of all the worst parts of the political climate of 1930s germany and of course of the past few years.

now onto the funny bit:

I was watching the credits and I saw that it was a Wachowski sisters movie and omfg god it immediately made SO MUCH SENSE lol

when I say that V for Vendetta was SO TRANS I mean it. Like, in ways that I can't really articulate now bc I'm too tired but I might explain later, it was so trans. So. Trans.

It was soooo white lmaooooooooo. Like it kept talking about evil conservative politics and how gay people and shit are used as scapegoats, and while that was super powerful I was kinda confused as to why they like, totally glossed over intersectionality and other methods of oppression. It was weird to watch such a "progressive" film that didn't touch on race, like, at all. The closest they came was a guy getting arrested for owning a Koran. And the guy was white. (played by Stephen Fry My Beloved, no hate to him, he was fantastic as always and also I'm super scared about that fall he had I hope hes ok :( anyways). And then the second I saw that the Wachowski sisters made it I was like ooooooooooooooohhhhh thats why it just blatantly ignored racsim and had 0 (zero) characters from ANY ETHNIC BACKGROUND OTHER THAN FUCKING ENGLAND :/ Which, yknow, aside from being hurtful to the vast majority of the population of earth, just makes for a less interesting, less vibrant, less powerful story. It's about freedom, willingness to die for a cause, and rebellion for fucks sake. It shouldn't just be white.

Ok other ThoughsTM

It was weird, but also kinda touching to have V be the "guy" that fought for it all.

I don't really have the words for it at the moment, but in as simple terms as I can.

I was surprised at the unrealistic, but also extrememly important suggestion that a striaght, white, cis guy (assuming V was all of those things, even though he was hella fruity and queer coded) could ever allow himself to become the revolution, to become something bigger than himself, and more importantly, to be selfless enough to devote himself to the liberation of completely separate groups of people.

And, look, I'm not saying that they can't do that (Neil Gaiman as a shoutout, you stand up unabashedly for queer people, trans people, refugees, women, sex workers, disabled people, people of colour, etc etc and maybe thats because you're jewish so you know what fucking happens when you ignore discrimination for a little bit and allow it to fester because it aint you thats getting attacked so why should you care and anyway thats not a rant that I want to have), but I was just surprised, and kinda dissapointed that they did

Because its unrealistic. When as a white person ever been the champion of a a movement against racism? When has a man ever been a figurehead for feminism? Etc etc.

which brings me to my next point.

V's arc still disappointingly revolved around falling in love with a woman. Which really just felt like a way to distract straight viewers from his actual character arc so it was less confronting for them and they will never actually understand him or connect with him properly. I watched it with my parents (both straight), and there were moments when I felt completely sure that they were not grasping the point of a scene, or a line, or whatever. And they felt all righteous and content because they watched a movie about gay people fighting back or whatever, but the main character was still A FCUKING STRIAHGT MAN WTF.

And let me be clear. I DONT HAVE ANY OBJECTIONS TO HIM FALLING IN LOVE. I DONT AHVE ANY OBJECTIONS TO HIS LOVE INTEREST BEING A WOMAN. I'm just annoyed that the messaging was subtle enough that straight people and allo people distracted by a heterosexual romance would miss it. Yes, his love for Evey was tragic. Yes, it was beautiful. But no scene with them was ever actually about their love. It was about something bigger. Which I don't think my parents quite grasped.

Anyway. Conclusions.

Was it a good movie? Absolutely yes!

Will I be watching it again? Absolutely yes!

Was it a terrifying documentary about the world as we know it? Yes!

But could it have been more effective by diversifying slightly more? Yes.

(btw I am fully aware that this movie was made in 2005 and we need context and shit)

So yeah. Those are my thoughts. If you made it this far, wow. You're either a bit V for Vendetta fan, very passionate about activism, or not really concentrating properly.

So uh yeah.

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lunaxstella · 9 months

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The reason I love to write

People who know our family might think my mom influenced me to write. My mom's side of the family are bookworms and achievers, so I can't really blame them if they would assume that. But the thing is, my family only knew that I wrote stories and poems when I told them that I had joined the journalism club back when I was in 10th grade. And I didn't even know that my mom was a big part of their campus journalism when she was in school. We don't really talk much about our interests at home. Our parents let us be us, no questions asked. Except if our safety is concerned, obviously. Everyone's busy with their lives that we have no time to catch up. We don't even have dinners together. Sad, isn't it? Well, not so much. It has its pros and cons, but the pros make it okay, I guess.

I fell in love with writing ever since I learned how to read. I love reading story books, fairy tales, and even those short stories you find in educational books. I even finished reading a children's bible from cover to cover in less than a week. I was at awe in how emotions can be expressed through words. At how you can hide real life emotions through fantasy.

I loved it more as I grew up because I learned that through writing, I can create my own world. I can make my protagonists less lonely. I can make everyone understand where she's coming from. I can make them understand me without anyone knowing it's me.

Yes, writing became my escape. I had no one to confide in, so I depended on myself. I am the eldest daughter. I was taught to be selfless and to always be the bigger person. To always understand where everyone is coming from. I had no friends. And even when I found them, I can't really tell them everything that's going on in this messy brain of mine because not everyone understands. But with writing, I can be selfish. I can be angry. I can pour out all that's in my head. No judgments, no expectations. It's just me and the words spilling through the tip of my pen.

And boy, was I delighted when I learned about poems. With symbols and metaphors, I can now share what I feel in just a matter of seconds, and no one can tell what I truly mean. Like how every one of my poems is actually me calling for help. I was screaming for help because I can't take it anymore. I only made them sound hopeful, so that those who have read them can at least have the hope that I don't possess.

You see, I've been battling depression for as long as I can remember. It already took my whole life away from me. It's as if, it has attached to my shadows the day I became aware of this world. If it wasn't for my medication, I don't know where I would be at today. And yet, I'm still having a hard time fighting the voices with my family and professional help around me.

Just recently, I realized that I've been fooling myself. I thought that I was being my authentic self around everyone, when in fact I was actually pretending to be this girl who already figured herself. She's so self-aware, that she thinks she can handle her emotions well. Smiling and acting as if she doesn't feel numb inside. It's all bullshit.

I'm still that same girl years ago. Crying herself to sleep, wondering why she feels nothing when all she wants is to feel genuine happiness. Only now, the tears have stopped falling. And she's been wearing this life-is-awful-but-let's-just-laugh-it-off mask whenever someone comes up to greet her. Only to return to that girl who feels nothing at all when they leave.

The irony. I used to say that I'm done with the "Fake it until you make it" mantra, yet here I am. Still doing it unknowingly.

I don't know what to believe in anymore. I know that I'm genuine with the feelings I've been showing to everyone, but still. Deep inside, it's all void. Nothing. I feel nothing. It's cold in here.

Well, someone tried to heat it up. But he left as well. He feels the same thing as I do. I was just more courageous to try and thaw my heart by risking it on him. Maybe it's a good thing he left? I don't know. I understand him anyway. I love him but what can my love do if he doesn't want it at all? It's just a matter of time that I had to be woken up from that daydream. It's sweet and warm, but I was all alone and cold inside.

Right now, this is the last thing that I'll ever write here. I'm taking a break from myself and everyone's expectation of me. I've been swimming against the current for years. It's time to swim with it for now.

If you're reading this, I pray that everything you've been praying and hoping for will fall into place in the right time. As always, don't forget to drink your agua. This is Luna signing off.

#personal blog #personal #blog #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #write

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kojinnie · 3 years

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Why you should NOT date AOT boys...

Headcanon on what kind of headache you're bound for when dating the AOT boys, and why I advise you NOT to date them! Enjoy, loves!

levi - eren - armin - reiner

part two here | erwin - zeke - jean - connie

— LEVI

He's an incredible man with a lot of talents and he'd be doing real good at his job, that dating him would give you a huge sense of pride. However, this man suffers from being emotionally constipated. He'd always keep you in the fine line of "are we or are we not?", even though you’ve been seeing each other for a long time. He’d never say “I love you” or any type of flashy display of affection. His love language is acts of service and quality time, so if you’re the type to wanting outward reassurance of how someone feels about you, Levi’s not gonna be the person to give you that.

This problem stems from his deep, unresolved insecurity about the nature of relationship. It’s not just the “Am I good enough?”, he genuinely thinks that he is not a good person, and thus the inherent belief that everybody will abandon him in the end — something he picks up from his traumatic childhood. He’s wary about establishing relationship because he’s afraid to succumb into his own feelings and vulnerability. He fears at certain point he has to feel and suffer the emotional consequence of being left by someone he cares for. He dreads the idea of getting caught off-guard with being fragile.

You gotta be extremely patient and understanding when it comes to Levi, the reassurance needs to come from you, and frequently too. Bluntly saying, “I’ll stick around” or “I’ll accept your shortcoming” is really soothing for Levi, because although he never shows it, he really thinks he does not deserve you.

— EREN

If you wanna be frustrated in a relationship where you constantly feel like you’re in an endless coaster, then dating Eren gotta be your poison. Sure the honeymoon phase was intoxicating, sure he makes you feel like the prettiest girl in the world. The morning text, the playful neck peck out in the public, the butterflies you feel in your tummy when you catch him staring at you even from afar with those oh so enthralling green eyes. But once the honeymoon phase over, Eren is quick to get bored. Especially if you’re an unproblematic, matter-of-fact type of person. Eren likes to fight, he gets thrilled by it, and he’s high with the rush of adrenaline. He likes it if you’re jealous, if you sulk, if you argue. He likes you to be ‘childish’ because then he gets to be the adult, the savior, the knight in shining armor. It grinds his gears. If you’re unfazed by his antics, if you’re easy to forgive, if you’re chill, Eren will think that you’re not really into him, and will exit the closest door out before his ego gets bruised even further.

Eren is sort of babied by people around him – his parents, his friends, and constantly being compared to his older brother doesn’t help either. He realizes that he got saved a lot of times by a lot of people. And this creates a deeply rooted insecurity with him that turns into an incessant impostor syndrome. The constant thought of not being good enough and the idea that all the achievement he’s ever got was the result of someone else’s help really crush him. You can shower him with praises and reassurance, but he would completely dismiss it, because he thinks your compliments are not based on objective views and that he does not deserve it. He painfully seeks for approval from any authority figure that (he thinks) does not have any emotional connection with him. And it can be really hurtful when he constantly dismisses your sincere compliments while desperately chasing from others who don’t care about him.

— ARMIN

It’s really hard to hate Armin. He’s a really nice man through and through, but what is his strength can also be his deepest weakness. He’s too nice and unsure about a lot of things. He knows he is knowledgeable, but he often doubts himself for being too ‘text-book smart’. Which is a valid cause, because at times he would get very oblivious to how relationship works, and treat feelings like it’s a quantifiable system. It will literally take years for him to finally get down and say how he feels about you, because all these times he was so busy filling the check-list in his mind to convince himself whether you truly like him or not, even though you couldn’t be any clearer with your intention towards him.

He is perceptive with what you think and how you feel, unfortunately this does not materialize into any action as he doubts his own intuition when it comes to his significant other. He fears that his own sentimentality has affected his intuitive judgment and thus deems it invalid, which is completely untrue because every hunch he has about you has always been accurate! That’s just how much he understands and knows you from years of quietly observing and taking each of your word into account.

He really relies on you sitting him down and telling him in details how you feel and the things you expect from him. He will do it, in a flash with no hesitation, but really, he just needs that verbal affirmation that he is doing the things that you want, and it’s not just based on his assumption. So, if you like sweet surprises, impulsive dates and expect your significant other to read your mind, Armin might not be the person.

— REINER

Oh my, truthfully, he is such a sweetheart, and can be completely smitten for the entirety of his life if he has found that one person. However, it’s a treacherous road for both Reiner and you to get to that stage. Initially, when you start to get closer to him, he may seem rigid and uninterested. The first date you had with him probably went awkward and although you really liked him, you were pretty sure he didn’t like you back, until he texted you the morning after, asking for a second date. That’s basically how being with Reiner is, a series of you being sure that he feels nothing towards you, only for his following action to prove the otherwise. He is really awful in displaying his emotion, he tries to be stoic all the time, and it often frustrates you because you cannot really tell how he feels, and you fear that you might have hurt him without realizing.

He may start to open up, only when you open up first about yourself. He thrives in romance with someone who he thinks shares his inner pain, and that’s very important for him, because he is always in a position where everyone expects him to be strong, and to have a significant other that understands his struggle is all he wants. But this gets hard for you, because sometimes Reiner’s sadness can be quite extreme and you cannot match that. Once Reiner realizes that you’re not on the same boat, he may become withdrawn, as he thinks he’s a burden and inadequate for you, and may end up self-sabotaging the whole relationship he has with you.

Although he does not like to admit it, but Reiner often slips into his sadness too deep, that it almost seems like he victimizes himself with his self-hatred. He will be the one to say stupid shit like, “You deserve someone better.” Or “I cannot make you happy.” When in fact you are perfectly willing to be with him all the way through.

With Reiner, you gotta be the bigger person, with bigger gestures and bigger patience. It’s because Reiner needs an anchor and a figure to lean on. In returns he would be the best lover that you will ever have for he is selfless and will be helplessly devoted to you.

Racking my brain writing for the rest of the boys (Erwin, Jean, Connie, Pocko) because they're the ones we SHOULD date.

Update: Thanks thanks thanks for everyone who read this! I received a lot of love and you dunno how much this encourages me to keep going. Anyway, 2 things:

- My Masterlist

- Talk to meeee ♡

[ON-GOING REQUEST EVENT]: Kojinnie's 200 Followers Celebration - 24/7 Writing Event

#aot headcanons #snk headcanons #levi headcanons #eren headcanons #armin headcanons #reiner headcanons #levi ackerman #eren jaeger #armin arlert #reiner braun #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot levi #aot eren #aot armin #aot reiner

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myherowritings · 4 years

Text

order’s up!

— Osamu gets a big order of some rather strange rice ball combinations an hour before closing. He doesn’t expect that he’d find the customer who ordered to be so damn cute.

pairing: miya osamu x reader word count: 2,387 genre: fluff, post manga timeskip

a/n: first haikyuu fic and aHH it was so fun to write ,, i didn’t expect osamu to be my first but here we are and tbh i am not mad~ ;) FJSDHKJ hope u enjoy!!

“One unagi onigiri to go-- Your order’s ready!”

A middle-aged man stood up from his seat at the waiting area and headed over to the counter, thanking Osamu for the fresh onigiri and making brief small talk. As the man left, Osamu looked at the customer next in line, thankful there was only one person in here so close to closing time.

“I’ll be with you in a moment,” he stated when your gaze met his, lips quirking up to give his best customer service smile.

You nodded with a warm smile of your own before looking down at the phone in your hands, murmuring what he thought sounded like “salmon, plum, beef, extra green onions, heavy on the seasoning.” Now, he liked to think there were no rules to onigiri, but part of him did hope you wouldn’t ask for all those ingredients in one gigantic, imbalanced rice ball. Maybe you were reciting a large number of individual orders.

He shrugged. Money was money, and all onigiri was good onigiri when made with his special Miya love. Miya love that was specific to Osamu in particular, of course. Atsumu could never recreate it even if he tried-- Not that he ever tried. The day he tried in something other than volleyball would be the day Osamu said he was the worst onigiri chef in Japan.

In other words, never.

Osamu hustled over to the cash register and you took that as your cue to step forward, hands fidgeting with your wallet and cellphone.

He smirked to himself in silent amusement. A shy one, were you? By now he had lost count of all the nervous and fidgety costumers he had gotten at his shop, but to allow them to stay that way simply wouldn’t do. If his patrons weren’t 100% comfortable in his care--well, as comfortable they could be in an onigiri shop--it meant he was doing his job wrong.

As the owner of Onigiri Miya he wanted to make sure every customer would leave with a smile and a desire to come again soon. That was how he built rapport and got so many regulars after all.

“I can take your order whenever you’re ready,” said Osamu in a slow pace, encouraging you to slow your rhythm as you tapped your fingertip restlessly against your protective phone case. Were you in a hurry? You seemed rather antsy, but he went on. “There’s no rush here.”

There was less than an hour until closing and he figured you would be the last customer of the day-- Meaning there was no reason not to slow down. As much as Osamu appreciated how lively his hometown could be, he also enjoyed quieter moments like these.

Not everything had to be so loud. Not everything had to be moving so fucking fast all the time. And he learned that in some instances, he could just control the pace himself.

Your worried chatter brought him out of his musing. “Are you sure? Because I know you close soon and I really didn’t want to come in so late but the guys are still down over a loss and said this was their favorite comfort food,” you said, eyebrows furrowed in a tell of concern. “It’s kind of a big order, so if you need to start cleaning up for closing I can just go to another store-- Sorry for imposing!”

He blinked. He thought he just said there was no rush to imply he wasn’t worried and you shouldn’t be either, but you didn’t seem to pick up on that.

“Hey, you’re not imposing,” Osamu soothed, somewhat alarmed at your apprehension. “You said someone was down over a loss? You on a sports team?”

Losing sucked. Osamu knew this firsthand.

Sure, in hindsight it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but while it could sure feel that way sometimes. If it was bad enough, it could take a few days to really get over and grow from it. So hearing that Onigiri Miya was someone’s comfort food that could help cheer them up on days like those… That certainly gave him reason to puff his chest up a little more.

“Yeah! Well, kind of.” You moved your head side-to-side as if unsure of your answer. “I help assist the volleyball team at my university. It’s my last year in school and I’m sure all of the other fourth years are bummed too.” Catching the small frown on your face, you stopped yourself before it spread, clearing your throat. “But it’s okay! At least we all had fun. And now they’ll be getting some of their favorite food to cheer them up-- If you’re still taking orders, that is…?”

He nodded. “‘Course I am.” Osamu flashed you a grin intended to make your worries disappear. “What kinda store owner would I be if I couldn’t make your team their pick-me-up food?”

The two of you shared a look before you tore your gaze away, biting your lower lip to hide your smile.

“Thank you, then,” you murmured, unlocking your phone to what appeared to be a notes app.

Osamu picked up his pen with a short hum. “Ready to take your order when you are.”

“Right.” You stared at your screen in concentration before listing off what you had written. “Can I have three salmon onigiris with green onions, two umeboshi and mentaiko with light seasoning and ginger, one tempura and unagi with green onions and sesame seeds and heavy seasoning, two…”

As he noted your orders, some arguably stranger than others--not that he should be one to judge, what with his own peculiar preferences--he made a mental note of how cute your voice sounded and tucked it away in the depth of his mind. Was cute the word for it? He wasn’t exactly sure, but he guessed that sounded okay enough. There was something about hearing you talk that made Osamu want to hear more, even if it was just a list of onigiri ingredients.

He huffed. Weird.

When you finished he repeated back your order, affirming it was all correct.

“Great, so I’ll be with you in about 15 to 20 minutes with your order ready,” he informed as he held the paper with the dishes he had to make. “You can have a seat at one of the tables ‘til I return.”

You nodded at his words but hesitantly opened your mouth. “Erm-- Wait!”

He looked back at you, mere steps away from the cooking area.

“Is it just you working at this hour?” you asked, standing with your hands folded behind your back as you craned your neck.

“Yeah, we don’t get many late customers on a Tuesday night so I’m the only one closin’ today.” Osamu gave you a curious once-over. Bright eyes, nervous yet playful smile, cute outfit-- Damn, he sure was using the word cute a lot today. All in relation to you nonetheless. “Why?”

“Are you sure the order isn’t too big for you in this hour?” Once again, you were fretting. He reckoned he ought to teach you some relaxation techniques and tips of how to be less...selfless. “Do you need some, uh, help?”

The corner of Osamu’s lip twitched upwards. Help? What were you planning on doing if he said yes? Learn the basics of food safety and onigiri-making in less than 20 minutes so you could assist him in making your order?

Something told him that was, in fact, what you were ready to do.

Cute.

“Stop stressin’, sweetheart,” he said with a tsk, not bothering to hide his amused grin. “I’ve handled bigger orders than this. You just rest your pretty little head and I’ll be finished before you know it.”

Though you still looked concerned, you nodded and sat down, probably figuring you would be more of a hindrance in his onigiri-making flow than anything else.

“Don’t miss me too much-- And don’t even think of saying sorry or anythin’ like that!” His tone was teasing but he meant what he said. You were a customer at Onigiri Miya and he wanted no patron of his to be worrying this much if he could do anything to help it. “The store’s still open and I’ve no issue taking your order. ‘Kay?”

You blinked. “Okay. I… Thank you, uh, Miya-san.”

“Just Miya’s fine.”

“Right. Miya. Thank you.”

He sauntered off into the kitchen to get started with your order and as he went through making your onigiri, he hoped you wouldn’t still be feeling bad about a big order that wasn’t even that big compared to others he got. Besides, you had already paid for the order. There was no point worrying after the transaction went through.

Osamu soon made his way down the list of rice balls and, just like he promised, popped his head out of the kitchen along with three, full takeout containers in record time.

“For the cutest customer here tonight-- Order’s up!”

You perked up at the mouthwatering smell of his onigiri, pressing a hand to your stomach as you hummed. “I’m the only customer here tonight, but since your food smells so yummy I will choose to let that comment slide.”

Holding the bag of takeout in front of his, Osamu smirked at your surprisingly steadfast composure. You didn’t get flustered at his unabashed compliment like he thought you would, and for some reason that made you seem even more appealing.

As you accepted the order, he quipped, “Only customer here or not, you’re still the cutest.”

You wrapped your fingers around the handle of the takeout bag, the edge of your pinky brushing against his thumb. “Hmm, then-- I guess you’re definitely the cutest worker here tonight, even though it is by default.”

Osamu laughed, both in amusement and in happiness after finally getting you to feel comfortable in his shop.

“A compliment’s a compliment and I’m not above being the cutest by default,” he said with a lazy drawl, watching as you set the onigiri bag on the counter in front of you while easing into a conversation with him.

“As if you would ever have to win by default. You seem much too handsome and talented for that.”

It sounded like you were flirting. Were you flirting? He noted the mischievous glint in your eyes and the way you lingered in the store instead of leaving once you received your order.

Yeah. You were so flirting.

“Cute.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, nothing.” He smiled secretively but wouldn’t expand on what he said despite your questioning look.

You narrowed your eyes. “Sure, okay then.” Your fingers wrapped and unwrapped themselves from the handle of the to-go bag, like you didn’t want to leave just yet but didn’t know what was left to say. “Well-- Um, thank you for the order! I’m sure this’ll cheer the team right up.”

“And you as well, I hope.”

“Of course. I haven’t even tasted it but it already has.”

Just being here already has, is what you seemed to say. Osamu rather liked that implication.

“But… I still feel kind of bad for ordering all this so close to your closing hours,” you said sheepishly, rubbing the side of your neck like it had a knot. “I’m sorry.”

Osamu waved his hand at your words. “Please, what do you have to apologize for? Making me do my job?” he asked cheekily, his sideways grin showing teeth. “You shouldn’t feel bad.” He noticed the way you brought your lower lip into your mouth with uncertainty and he continued, “But if you still do...there is a way you could repay me and soothe those worries.”

You looked up, eyes widened. “How? I’d do anything.”

Dangerous words coming from such pretty little lips.

He adjusted the cuffs of his sleeves, unintentionally bringing your attention to his forearms. “Let me treat you out this weekend, yeah?”

Your gaze followed his hands as you nodded. “Yea--” You blinked to snap out of your daze and he stifled a laugh. “Wait, wait! Shouldn’t I be the one to treat you?”

“What kinda gentleman would I be if I were to ask you out on a date and tell you to pay?”

Maybe Atsumu would’ve made his date pay for their meal and activities of the day, but Osamu wasn’t him. Osamu had class.

“A date?” you parroted. “As in one with me? And you? Together?”

There wasn’t anyone else in the store he could be asking. Nope, just you and your awkwardly cute self.

Osamu nodded in affirmation. A date is just what he was asking you out on. “Well, only if you want, of course.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to contain the wide smile that threatened to spread across your face. “I wouldn’t mind a date with the cutest worker here tonight,” you teased, looking around the store before meeting landing on his face. “I still want to be the one to treat you, though. It’s the least I could do.”

As happy as he was that you didn’t reject him, he didn’t give. “Don’t worry about treating me-- Your company’s a better treat than money could buy.” You snorted at his pickup line and Osamu silently cursed his brother for saying that line would always work. And then cursed himself for believing it. “Look, I’ll pay. I insist.”

“I insist too.”

You held each other’s gaze, neither one wavering. He seemed to realize you weren’t going to give in, but he wasn’t planning on it either. He huffed, shaking his head, entertained. “Okay, then. How ‘bout we rock-paper-scissors it when the day comes?”

“Fine by me,” you laughed, hiding the bottom half of your face with your hand. He wanted to hold it in his so he could see the full smile you were covering, but Osamu decided he could save that for another time. “But don’t think you’ll have an easy win! I’ll have you know I play a mean game of rock-paper-scissors.”

“‘Course you do, sweetheart.”

And he didn’t doubt that at all.

As strange as the orders were and as nervous as you may have been at the start, Osamu found himself rather fond of you. Was working overtime worth it just for a date with a cute costumer?

Yeah, he decided. It was.

a/n: y/n’s vball team waiting for their comfort food after a bad loss while y/n and osamu are just there flirting after hours: 👁💧👄💧👁

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #osamu x reader #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu #hq x reader #haikyuu #haikyu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fluff

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alygatorwrites · 3 years

Note

can I request a lil something? during the end of the manga or after the timeskip if you haven't read it yet, reiner still has feelings for historia and reader has one-sided feelings for him.

pieck gives reiner a small hint, saying he's wasting time while there's someone close to him that cares for him and points to you. he doesn't understand at first and maybe is conflicted about his feelings for you because of historia. reader is cool about it as she doesn't expect him to reciprocate her feelings.

a rollercoaster of emotions later, maybe there is a happy ending tho? i am curious to see what you can come up with 😭😭 i have dreaming of this scenario before bed and i can't help but get jealous of his crush on historia abjdsndks maybe you can help reiner reciprocate reader-chan's feelings or not

thank u so much aly 💖🥺

reciprocation

pairing: reiner braun x reader

a/n: OMG yesss! honestly, i was kinda annoyed at how reiner still had a crush on historia. i know that isayama wanted to show how everything went back to normal, but i was hoping that reiner would have a bigger role in the allied nations instead of being "dumbed down" to having an obsession with her. MAYBE THATS JUST THE JEALOUSY SPEAKING LMAO 😭 i was hoping this would be longer, although school has been killing me so im really sorry!! i hope its okay 💗💕 thank you honey!

↳ to be added to my taglist, please fill out this ♡form♡

as reiner is handed historia’s letter, you fold your hands on the table and watch him without a word. when he reads the lines and smells the parchment - jean saying something snarky afterward - you say nothing.

you want reiner to be happy: you want to see him at ease like this more, face soft as the leaf of the page flits from his pinched fingers.

and so you let the man speak about historia like she’s a damn goddess, gushing over her handwriting, and keep your goddamn mouth shut. ignore your jealousy. your feelings.

the truth is, you’re in love with reiner.

you can’t even remember how it happened, but you can remember the first time you looked into those hazel eyes, and how you knew that they were going to stick with you for eternity.

you’ve come to accept his crush on the queen, though. reciprocation was never an option in your mind.

when jean begins to chew reiner out for lusting after a married woman, and reiner says something about jean being a horse, pieck’s gaze lands on you. “you’re rather quiet,” she says softly, resting her head on her palm.

you shrug, turning away from her. “i’m just tired.”

pieck catches your chin between her lithe fingers, and turns you to face her with a tiny smile. the young woman is very perceptive, and you’ve known her long enough.

that’s when you notice the twinkle in her eye. she’s planning something.

pieck releases your jaw then, sitting up in her chair. “you’re wasting your time, reiner,” she says suddenly. “there’s already someone you know who cares for you.”

you pretend to not hear pieck - and definitely pretend you don’t see her faintly point at you through your peripheral. the movement of her fingers is barely there, but you catch it.

damn you, pieck.

the way you’re now pinned underneath armin, jean, connie, and reiner’s stares makes your stomach tie itself into knots with bubbling reluctance. shit, this is awkward. you want to run away.

still, you peer over to study reiner’s reaction. he looks confused at first, the contours of his face unreadable. you swear you see connie facepalm at the man’s cluelessness.

then reiner’s expression slowly changes: his eyes widen in awe, lips parting slightly, and brows knitting together. he seems genuinely surprised - and conflicted.

conflicted? why?

there’s no time to explain yourself though, because the door creaks open and annie steps in. her words fall on your deaf ears, and when everyone stands up to leave, you’re the first one out of the room. work beckons you as always.

two days pass.

you’ve been busy filling out tons of paperwork pertaining to the allied nations, so when you’re finally given a day off, you take it with open arms.

freedom at last.

you lean against a bench outside of headquarters, enjoying the salty breeze that flutters along your skin. it’s dusk, the sky covered in a gradient of neon colors as the sun dips below the horizon.

you haven’t seen reiner since that day in the conference room. you wonder how he’s doing, what he’s thinking, how he’s holding up -

“hey.”

speak of the devil. you glance over your shoulder toward the voice, low and familiar.

reiner approaches you, clad in his uniform: the suit hugs his large frame perfectly, showing every flex of his muscles, and his blonde hair is neatly parted. the black tie looped around his neck just pulls it all together. it has you weak at the knees every. single. time.

“hey,” you answer, giving reiner a smile as he stops beside you.

and that’s when your heart lurches at the sight of him.

the sunset highlights reiner’s profile in gold, a heavenly shine that settles upon his blonde lashes and the flawless slope of his nose. the flecks in his irises sparkle – a beautiful mixture of soft browns and muted greens. the only thing you can do right now is admire the man.

his words are what breaks you out of your daydream.

“work has been crazy lately, huh?” reiner says, focused on the candy-floss clouds and their fluffy shapes.

“well - yeah, pretty much. i don’t want to look at a pen or a piece of paper ever again.”

“that bad?”

“you have no idea. i almost regret marley and paradis reconciling.”

reiner chuckles gently at the joke, but it’s strained. his forehead remains creased, and he’s not really smiling. the emotion there is more … doubtful. it’s like he’s having some sort of inner conflict.

hopefully reiner’s not acting cautious because of the other day. you know he doesn’t return your feelings, and that’s totally okay. you’re happy enough being with him like this. “i’m not mad or anything, y’know.”

reiner stiffens at that. there’s a white flash of teeth when he chews on his lower lip. “i know.”

“good,” you hum, breathing out a sigh of relief. your core twists with envy when you force a grin. bite it back. tease him like always. “so about historia … ”

reiner’s eyes go wide almost comically, and you hear the breath in his lungs leave his firm chest in one exhale. there’s a light blush staining his cheeks now. it’s funny; he’s so goddamn big, yet he’s such a teddy bear.

“y-yeah,” reiner mutters. you observe the way his brows pinch together as he awkwardly shifts in place. it takes a while before the man composes himself again, which is strange.

is he scared or something? what the hell?

“pieck,” reiner hesitates for a moment. the golden strands of his hair ruffle in the wind and he appears ... well, lost. “was she being serious?”

the question is a shocker - jeez, he could have at least let you prepare yourself. a firm ‘no’ almost slips out, but you’ve never been much of a liar. not to reiner, anyway. crossing your arms against your chest, you inhale sharply and nod. avoid staring at him face-to-face. “yep.”

“ … why me?”

reiner says the words with a mixture of spite and anguish, a casual and rumbling voice. you immediately turn your head, frowning. “what?”

“i’ve done so many horrible things.” reiner exhales heavily and stares down at his hands; perhaps he’s imagining all the blood they’ve been stained with. “i betrayed everyone. i killed innocent people - all because i was selfish.”

it’s no surprise that reiner is broken after everything he’s been through, but it pains you to know that he continues to suffer in silence. whatever war is raging inside his ribcage tears him apart piece by piece, and you wish you could carry the burden.

there’s probably nothing you can say to convince reiner that he was just a kid, a victim of circumstance. there’s nothing that can persuade him to see himself the way you do.

so you decide to tell reiner why you love him.

you explain the amount of admiration you hold for him. tell him that you love the way he just wants to be someone his comrades can lean on, like a big brother. tell him that you think he’s the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen and how you think he deserves the world.

the way you spill your guts out snaps every nerve in your body. you don’t say everything you want to – but you tell him enough. a dark flush spreading across your face, you find the courage to look at him.

the world seems to stop on its axis when you find reiner staring right on back. the intensity of his eyes is stunning; they’re lit up with astonishment and affection.

god, the affection. you see it clear as day. maybe one of the greatest regrets in his life is how he forced himself to see you only as a friend.

that’s when he reaches out to you.

reiner retracts his hand twice, unsure, before slowly brushing his fingertips against yours. the touch is so feather-light that you almost can’t feel it. it’s a test - he’s waiting to see if you pull away. you can’t even move if you wanted to, because his fond gaze keeps you rooted to the spot before him.

when you don’t recoil, reiner finally moves to gently hold your hand; his palm is so much bigger than yours, and your fingers slot together perfectly, like a jigsaw puzzle’s final piece.

heart thrumming like a hummingbird has been stuffed into your chest, you’re almost at a loss for words and come to a realization.

this utterly amazing man likes you. always has.

but reiner shoved away the feelings for one simple reason; you deserved ‘better.’ focusing on the old crush he had on historia was a distraction - an attempt to convince himself to stop thinking about you.

because looking at you everyday and not being able to act upon his feelings was too painful.

“is this okay?” reiner asks lowly. there’s a slight pinkness to his cheeks, the color of a selfless love.

by some miracle, you manage to nod dumbly. “yeah, of course. it’s fine.” it’s amazing is what you actually want to say.

reiner squeezes your hand at the reassurance, a sigh escaping from his throat. “i really—”

you wait for him to finish, but he doesn’t. reiner just searches your profile for signs of discomfort, and then untwines your hands to bravely swipe a thumb along the length of your cheekbone.

there’s no time to speak because he’s already leaning down.

the sensation of reiner’s lips pressing against yours lights your skin ablaze; you can feel the curling flames of passion sear your soul, made even more intense by the warmth of the sunlight on your back.

it’s natural, it’s tender, it’s warm.

reiner’s breath rattles into your mouth when you rest both palms against his solid chest and deepen the kiss. the musky smell of his aftershave and cologne envelops you completely, and fuck, it’s so good. your arms wrap around him, fingers passing over the sharp slopes of his shoulder blades.

as much as you wish the kiss could go on endlessly, there are people gathering outside. avoiding any unwanted attention from nosy strangers is very much appreciated.

you pull away to nuzzle your nose into reiner, and he rests his chin on your shoulder, protective arms moving to loop around your waist. it’s such an intimate caress that it sparks your brain into overdrive.

as the rushing sound of the breeze comes back to your ears through the quiet, you tuck the kiss away to be remembered forever. that’s all there is to it. being close to reiner like this - swaying together like wildflowers in the wind - is more important than anything else.

“i like you,” reiner murmurs.

the suddenness of it makes you laugh, and you can feel the upward quirk of reiner’s lips - a whisper of a peaceful smile and a sweet, sweet promise.

#timeskip reiner still sexy asf #I just wanna hug and kiss him ugh #reiner braun x reader #reiner x reader #aot x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #snk x reader #reiner braun #reiner x you #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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the-lone-witch-and-secret-room · 3 years

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The Owl House and pacing, a perspective from a fanfic writer that works with a large cast

I’ve seen a bunch of complains about the way The Owl House is paced lately. People claiming that it’s bad writing, and rushed, and whatnot. But from how I see it, you’re complaining for all the wrong reasons, and to the wrong people.

TL;DR: this is an overlaying issue with Disney and the industry that doesn’t allow long shows anymore, essentially forcing writers to pick between good pacing and complex stories being told with large casts.

For context: the fandom I wrote for before I got into The Owl House had a pretty small main cast. There were a few reoccurring characters, but most of them only showed up like five total times over the course of four seasons or had little personality, so my main cast I was writing about always consisted of my main five characters, with occasional cameos here and there. All characters were living together and experienced the adventure from the same perspective. There was one overarching storyline and not multiple. The interpersonal relationships still varied, though, for obvious reasons.

Now think about how large The Owl House cast is, and why that’d send them running into issues. Or don’t, because I have a whole-ass in depth analysis under the cut because this got unreasonably long.

(Also I’d appreciate a reblog, I spent… an unreasonable amount of time on this, lol)

The Owl House is different. There’s the main characters: Luz, Eda, King, maybe Hooty, technically (someone recently pointed out that he’s technically the titular character of the show and I’m still processing that, lol).

But they also have a HUGE additional cast to work with. There’s Lilith, Eda’s sister, and the main antagonist of season one, who has a lot to her character and gets a ton of screen time. There’s Amity, and there’s Willow and Gus, Luz’s friends. They’re all very fleshed out characters, and got a bunch of screen time and development, despite “only” being reoccurring characters and not the main characters.

Then there’s characters that have played a fairly minor role so far. There’s Belos, the big bad villain, who we will likely learn a lot more about this season. There’s the Golden Guard, the new main antagonist our cast deals with personally, who we’re just starting to learn more about. There’s Camila, Luz’s mom, who, despite only showing up a couple of times in the show so far, is very relevant to Luz and how the plot will ultimately turn out. There’s Edric and Emira, Amity’s siblings, who despite only showing up a few times as well seem to have a very worked out personality and background and also have a story that is (at least to some extent) going to be told according to the AMA.

There is at least one more seemingly important character whose role in the bigger story is hard to tell at this point, Raine, but according to the description of the episode, they’re probably going to influence the story a bunch.

There’s Alador and Odalia, who are responsible for a lot of their children’s toxic behaviors, and seem to have bigger plans that will probably be relevant later on.

The characters that are only focused on for an episode or two (like Matt and the troublemaker kids) all have very worked out personalities and even short arcs.

And heck, even characters like Boscha, who is extremely minor and seems like a very one-dimensional bully for the most part, get their moments that hint at there being more to them. We know Boscha has a clingy mom, that apparently has a rivalry with Odalia and works with Amity’s parents. The scene at the beginning of Wing It Like Witches tells us a lot about her general mindset and how she’s embraced that winning at whatever cost is the only thing that matters.

This leaves us with: 3-4 main characters

3 friends with fleshed out stories

Lilith, who is probably the most relevant aside from the main cast

Belos, the main antagonist, and the Golden Guard, currently starting to become a lot more relevant

A whole handful of minor reoccurring characters that have the potential to become bigger characters at any point in time

A handful of minor reoccurring characters that mainly seem to be there to further the story, but still get to have distinctive personalities and motivations (looking p.e. at the troublemaker kids)

That is AT LEAST 9 pretty major, relevant characters whose stories have to be tackled in the same show, in addition to the people that joined in season two and a huge supporting cast of well-developed characters that clearly also have stories of their own, even if not all of them will get told.

On top of that, the Owl House lives from exploring different relationships and different storylines. There’s the overarching story of how flawed the system is that will likely end with them overthrowing Belos, but there’s so much more.

Eda and the curse. Eda becoming a better mentor for Luz. Eda coming to terms with the loss of her magic.

Luz learning to cast magic with glyphs. Making friends for the first time. Slowly falling in love with Amity. Fighting to be able to learn whatever kind of magic she wants to. Learning that she’s not a burden to people. Struggling with her relationship with her mom, and trying to restore the portal so she can get back to her. Figuring out her future and what she really wants.

Lilith trying to cure Eda, and now in season two coming to terms with the loss of her magic and fixing her relationship with her sister. Lilith learning to ask for help.

Willow switching tracks. Willow growing more confident.

Amity becoming a better person, fixing her relationship with Willow, standing up to her parents, falling in love with Luz. Starting to fix her relationship with her siblings.

King finding out where he came from.

Hints at Gus struggling with decision making and stressing himself out less. Gus learning to be more selfless. Struggling with his magic track and being the youngest in his grade.

The newly introduced plot point with the Golden Guard. The plot point about the rebellion that will get introduced next episode.

The mystery with the letters.

And I’m like 90% sure I’ve forgotten something.

That is… a lot of different plots and relationships that are in some way important to the story.

In comparison, as stated, the last show I wrote for focused mostly on the same five characters and their relationships with each other, and one overarching plotline aside from some minor interpersonal relationships with two people’s family members that weren’t even introduced for several seasons. The first season fully focused on establishing the bond within this found family with exactly 1 important reoccurring character, an antagonist that had little personality and got a total of one line of backstory before he died.

If you have 90% of a season to develop 5 characters who live together, that’s a lot easier to do than developing twice the amount of important characters + introducing reoccurring characters season one of The Owl House has—the majority of which have separate lives and do not live together and thus can’t be focused on at the same time.

I’ve seen a bunch of people complain recently that the pacing of The Owl House is off, that the writing is bad, that the show is rushed, etc. etc.

And I get those complains. Believe me, as a viewer and also as an author that takes a lot of time to develop each character and their issues individually, I 100% get it.

But as an author that’s currently learning how hard it is to tackle a cast of the size that The Owl House has, I’ve also come to a whole different understanding from the perspective of the writers on the show.

For context, Locked Out focuses on a couple of serious themes, in the same way that the show does. It has 4 main plotlines: Amity Camila and Luz, Edric and Emira, Eda and Lilith, Willow and the Grudgby Squad (as well as a Gus arc that ties into the last one while also being its own thing, we’re getting to that part). So far, it prominently features: Luz, Amity, Camila, Eda, Emira, Edric, Willow and Gus, and to a lesser extent King, Lilith and Boscha, Skara and Amelia in relation to the separate plots.

That’s eight main characters across five different households. And then there’s the reoccurring characters that will have a larger role later on that I’ve not even had the opportunity to bring into the story yet/feature in a more prominent way. The cast is still growing.

And heck, I have all the time in the world to write this thing, because I don’t have an episode limit, or a deadline, or a limited amount of money to produce it.

For Locked Out, it took me 120k to get through a single week of plot at a very high level of character development, with about as many important characters as TOH has in season 1, and with an equally high number of reoccurring characters, some minor, some major. I think you can compare it to the show pretty well. I’d say, if I were to split Locked Out into episodes, I’d set one episode at about 10k. That would be 12 episodes. 12 episodes to get through a single week. Heck, even if I said 20k words were to be one episode, which I’m pretty sure is too much realistically, that would still be 6 episodes for one week.

And TOH covers more than three months.

That would be at least 72 total episodes to get through the three months of summer camp. And we’re currently progressing past that point.

72 episodes.

Let that sit for a while o.o

Everything that’s happened in season one (which as we know now was about 2 months) would have happened in 48 episodes rather than 19. Pacing-wise, everything would happen at less than 0.5x the speed. The first four episodes of season two would’ve been 24 episodes, assuming we hadn’t skipped a week and a half and had instead shown the immediate aftermath of the petrification ceremony, too.

And I’d love if we could have that, and if we could actually develop the characters and their relationships that thoroughly.

But the sad fact is that shows like The Owl House do not get the amount of episodes that would be required to develop every single aspect of the show to its fullest potential. Disney rarely greenlits shows of 150 episodes anymore. They used to, once, (Phineas&Ferb for example had 130+ episodes—you could tell one hell of a story in that many episodes), but that’s not a thing anymore. And the writers know that going into a show. They know the chances their story will be told in that way are very low.

And thus, the writers, especially ones working with large casts, have to make a choice: cut characters they love, and plots that are important to them, because they know they won’t get the amount of episodes required to do everything perfectly, OR include most of what they want to do, but at the cost of the pacing being off and everything seemingly happening too fast.

The Owl House crew went with the second option. The biggest issue the show has isn’t bad writing. The show’s biggest issue is that its cast and the story the crew members want to tell are too big for the amount of episodes they’ve been given (especially now that Disney decided to cut season 3 down into just three 44 minute specials).

And that’s on Disney, and Disney alone.

The crew is making the most of the amount of episodes they have, and unfortunately the lack of time forces them to rush things, and to sometimes sideline characters to focus on others.

Lilith got a bunch of screen time in the first four episodes. I’m sad to see her go, but she’s basically guaranteed to be back by season 2B. And there’s other people that have gotten way less focus than her so far. We‘ve seen basically nothing of Willow and Gus for the first few episodes, and I’m super happy Gus finally got some focus! We haven’t been inside Hexside all season except to see Luz expelled! And episode seven is even going to introduce a new character. Sometimes there’s parts of the story that certain characters don’t have a place in. And it sucks if they’re characters you like. But Lilith has to go for a bit so other characters can get the same amount of spotlight she did. At the end of the day, Lilith is not part of the main cast. She’s a very important reoccurring character, yes, but so are Amity, Willow and Gus. The main characters are Eda, Luz and King, and they’re the only ones that will always be around. And heck, even Eda got sidelined for a bit in the last two episodes, because we needed to focus on other characters. If not even the main characters are always around because we need some spotlight time for other characters, you can’t expect any more minor reoccurring cast member to be.

God, I wish they’d be given more time and more episodes to bring every part of the plot to its full potential, but they don’t have those, so they sometimes have to take shortcuts that unfortunately cheapen the story here and there. It’s the only way they can hope to tell their story to the end at all. And that makes me hella sad because it’s so obvious that they have an incredible story to tell, and that there’s so much more to so many of the characters we just don’t have the time to focus on.

The thing is: I liked the episode with Gwendolyn. It sends an important message that will hopefully get some parents who watch with their children thinking, and I’ve seen a couple of people talk about how close to home it hit for them. I have also seen a couple of people complain about that being too fast—and also just in general about things in the show getting sorted out too fast. And I get it. At least with this particular episode, I 100% get it.

(I’ve also seen some people complain that “Amity stood up to her parents too fast in Escaping Expulsion”, but I vehemently disagree with that. We’ve been building towards that moment since season one, with her doing more and more things that were technically defying her parents. I don’t see how this was rushed.)

Just… please don’t blame the writers. Dana even said that Keeping Up A-Fearances is one of the episodes that hit very close to home for her in the recent stream iirc? So I highly doubt this was rushed on purpose, or because the whole thing is “bad writing” when the entire writing quality of the show says otherwise.

A lot of shows in general have the issue that they have to be written season by season rather than as a full story these days, because there’s always a chance that they won’t get a next season. How large scale the story they want to tell actually is doesn’t matter if there’s a solid chance they won’t get to do any of it.

From a viewer perspective, I get being frustrated at the pacing being off. But from a writer perspective, the chances are very high that this is a choice they had to make, rather than one they wanted to make. And I don’t think you can truly see this if you’ve never worked with a fleshed out cast that large—Locked Out was really eye-opening for me in that regard.

This isn’t simply a case of bad writing/bad pacing by choice. It’s forced. They’re forced to rush through their plots because otherwise they won’t get the chance to tell certain parts of the story at all. And the saddest thing about this is really that those 72+ episodes to flesh out these plot points further wouldn’t have been an impossible thing to get, at a time.

Go for Disney’s head. Yell at the industry for being what it is today, for constantly axing shows before even giving them a real chance. But this isn’t on the crew.

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