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imdoingsortagay · 8 months

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You’re my girl

Ghostface!Agatha x reader

Summary : you were her girl and she’d do anything to protect you

Warning: ghostface!Agatha, murder and some dark stuff

word count : 2.9k

A/n : I’m sorry if this is trash but it’s something

Years and years of getting away from danger, yet it never failed to come popping out of nowhere. This time it was the first month of you moving into Westview and some innocent man had been murdered.

“ Oh honey come here,” you hear your friend Agatha say as she brings you in for a hug. At first, when you got here she was a bit pushy with showing affection. Not being the one to be used to getting hugs til you met her

“ You don’t have to be here Aggie,” you mumble into her chest,” I’d rather not put you in any danger”.

“ Oh nonsense superstar” " she says and you both spend the rest of the day in her house before you eventually make it back to your house as you did have to go to work the next day. Not before Agatha kisses you on the cheek and a Tupperware full of leftovers.

She was a nice lady, a good cook, and pretty as hell but there was always something that stopped you from making the relationship official with her. She could sense it too when you’d act like friends in public and lovers in private. She’d never question when you would see her at your apartment for little breakfast dates and see a random woman leave the place or when people would come and flirt with you whenever you’d drag her along to the bar.

Right as you begin to get comfy in bed and think of Agatha, your phone starts ringing. The caller ID is unknown before you start to think of who might be calling you at this hour. One part of you says to let it ring until they get tired but after years of running from town to town, you are way better off just answering the call. A couple more seconds go by before you press the answer button and are met with a very familiar deep laugh

“ Well if it isn’t my sweetheart,” Ghostface tells you over the phone while you roll your eyes. Always the one for pentanes this one.

“ How the fuck did you even get my information ?????” You ask.

“ Y/n darling,” she pauses,” use that adorable brain of yours to think where’d I get all the information on you baby. I just wanna make sure my favorite bunny is safe from all the danger of course”.

“ After you killed my wife I doubt that’s true,” you spit back, feeling your pent-up anger come back. All their years of running from Ghostface and yet they never failed at being horrible. It had been a year into your marriage with Natasha at the time when she was brutally murdered by the killer after they saw the both of you happy together. Since then each person you tried to get together with, would always get murdered in a gruesome way, and the both of you would play a game of cat and mouse until you got tired of it and moved away.

Truly there was some delusion going on in your head if you thought they’d leave you alone. Nobody can stop them in their path of destruction if it means having you.

“ Just wanted to see how Westview was treating you bunny, liking all your new besties? “

“ how the fuck do you know where I am you massive -“

“ I have ears and eyes everywhere honey, better not be too careful with that redhead sweetheart” they pause,” for a married woman, she sure does seem to flirt with you all the time”.

“Wanda and I are just friends you ass,” they can hear you yell through the phone. Wanda was in a happy marriage with Jarvis and from the many times you’ve had dinner with them, they seemed to both be madly in love with each other.

“ Honey you studied at one of the most prestigious colleges in the country and you can’t seem to see that the redhead wants to be fucked by you,” they pause,” that woman is terrible at hiding her moans darling, she tends to moan out your name a lot when the husband of hers is out on some dumb business trip”.

“ You’re lying,” you yell again, grabbing a knife from the kitchen.

“ Darling you’ve known me longer enough to know me as someone who’d lie,” and before you can respond you hear your office door open to ghost's face. Your flight or fight going on overdrive as you throw the knife their way and they dodge it with ease. The closer they get to you the faster you move to get out of your house to go to the one person who’d protect you with all their energy. Only 2 houses away you make it to her door and ring the doorbell with fear before you’re met with the older woman who seemed to be sleeping at that moment.

“ Honeybee? It’s only 10 pm what’s the rush-?” She asks before you push the both of you inside and lock the door. Sensing your nervousness, Agatha holds you in her arms. The warmth of the woman brings your breathing down and makes you forget what happened earlier in your house.

“ Honey, you’re scaring me why’d you run into my house? Did someone come? A dog? A rude neighbor?” She asks brushing your hair away to your face and her heart breaks to see you crying.

“ Aggie they came,” you say between sobs,” they came here Aggie I didn’t think they’d come back!!!” You say as you cry again in her arms. All your friend can do is keep holding you in her arms.

“ I’m never letting you get hurt my little honeybee,” she tells you as a means to comfort you,” As long as I’m in your life, you’ll always have someone to protect you from all the evil in the world”.

And she made sure of it.

3 months passed with no other sightings of ghost faces, no murder committed by them, and no other weird calls since then. Agatha offered up her home to protect you from the dangers of the world and you took the offer. At first, it was weird sharing a house with the woman but it became comforting to come home to her making your favorite dinner in the most gorgeous-looking dress you’ve ever seen on her. Before the two of you know it, it becomes a routine to come home after a busy day of work to Agatha making you food.

“ Oh honey I’m home,’ you say in a way too cheery tone that elicited a chuckle from the older woman. You take off your suit jacket to see Agatha has gone casual but you pay no mind to it as she approaches you for your usual after-work hug.

“ Nothing weird happens to you at work ?” She casually asks you while serving you a plate.

“ No but I got a random text from Wanda, I haven’t talked to her in a while though,” you pause as you bite into the meatloaf,” she’s been busy trying to be a better wife to her husband or whatever the girl at the coffee shop said.”

“Now?” Agatha asks “ I wonder why”.

“ It might be because of what ghost face told me the night I almost died” you mumble to her, Agatha unsure as to how to react. She had assured you that you didn’t have to tell her what was said that night. She had thought it would be months from now until you had been more comfortable to talk.

“ Ghostface told me Wanda had a crush on me and something about hearing her masturbate to the thought of me,” you tell the woman” which I don’t believe for one instance”.

“ What did she send?” Agatha asks you in a monotone voice, which makes you a bit nervous but you show her the text either way. She’s your friend, of course, she would never force you to show her and you felt comfortable doing so.

Maximoff: I know we haven’t talked since you moved in with Harkness but I miss you y/n <3

“ Should I go talk to her tomorrow? I mean it’d be weird to still be friends even after the info they told me but maybe so? Do I bring something? Wine? Roses? A baked good? Or -“

“ Honeybee calm down,” she chuckles,” look at me dear and breathe a bit”.

“ If you want to talk with her y/n and you feel that you’re ready for it,” she grabs both of your hands,” I think it might be a great idea”.

The past couple of months of being in Agatha’s house you don’t notice how pretty she is, her pretty eyes looking at you as she talks about something but all you can focus on is her pretty lips.

“ Are you listening to me - “ you take the moment to kiss her lips, your gut telling to you show the appreciation you have for her. Agatha takes a couple of seconds to focus before grabbing you from your chair, carrying you like you weigh nothing.

“ Bedroom baby ?” She asks between kisses.

“ Fuck yes please baby’, you respond as she makes your way to her bedroom.

“ Three hours later “

You wake up in Agatha’s bed with a smile on your face and your body sore, happy to have been fucked by her but also shocked too. All this time she looked like a sweet lady who would blush at the mention of sex. Yet Agatha proved you very wrong with your assumption.

You move to the right side of the bed, expecting the woman to be fast asleep, and are met with an empty bed. While one part of you wants to just go back to sleep the other part of you chooses to get out of bed to see where she went. You can’t find any shirt of yours so you decide to throw on the one Agatha had on earlier, sure it’s a bit big on you but better than walking around naked.

‘ Where the fuck is she’ you think to yourself as you look around the house, not finding her in the kitchen, the bathroom, or even your office which worries you a bit. She can protect herself, all this time with her she has proven she can defend herself. You try to think positively in said moment when you hear some muffled talking coming from the one place she told you not to go to, the basement.

When you first moved in, she gave you free rein in her house except for the basement. You respected that rule as it would be the one place where she could have some alone time but this might be the one moment where you’d break that rule if it meant assuring that she was okay in the moment. Checking behind you once again as you slowly make your way down to the basement to not make yourself known the talking starts to get louder but the moment that you open the door to the forbidden room, you can believe your eyes.

Wanda’s dead body is all over the floor, still bleeding while your friend, your protector for the past couple of months is above her body with a giant kitchen knife still in her right hand.

“ You weren’t supposed to see this honeybee,” she starts,” I was gonna clean out the basement before you woke up”.

“ Agatha you can’t explain this in any way,” you tell her, shock all over your face. Your mind goes in all different places before Agatha starts talking again.

“ I was just protecting you sweetheart. Wanda wanted you for herself to fuck and I couldn’t let that happen to my little honeybee so I just decided to take her out before she can do anything to you”.

“ Oh god, oh god it’s you,” you say to yourself. All the years of pain and suffering, countless times the cops told you they couldn’t capture your biggest enemy and somehow it was the person who brought you into their home, made you feel loved, made you feel protected, made you feel the happiest you’ve been in years to tear it all down with the revelation.

“ I knew that brain of yours worked baby,” Agatha says as she slowly makes her way to you. You don’t think quickly enough before she grabs your body, unable to get away from the older woman’s grip. She was the one who took everything away from you all those years ago starting with your dead wife and you hated yourself for falling for her spell.

“ Let me go,” you struggle to get out of her grip as she carries you to a chair not a couple of feet away from your friend's body. Even with your failed attempt to get out of her strong grip, Agatha manages to tie you up in the chair and then goes to a nearby table to let you calm down.

“ All this time you were the one who made my life a living hell,” you hear Agatha laugh at your words, meaning she must feel the opposite.

“ Oh baby that’s far from the truth,” she says,” that wife of yours was doing some shady business behind your back and I was just trying to keep you safe before she used you to get off scot-free. All this was to protect you from going to jail”.

“ NO “

“ No? Oh honey once I’m down with you then you’ll realize all of this,” she points to the dead body not far away from you,” was to make sure that you were safe and sound my darling”.

“ Like I said: I’m never letting you get hurt my little honeybee,” she tells you and you fear what she has planned.

#liz celebrates #lizs writing #agatha harkness #agatha harkness x reader #ghostface!Agatha #wandavision #wandavision fanfic #wlw fanfic

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isaut · 7 months

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“oh,” kuroro shifts slightly, pulling away from you at the sound of his phone ringing. you whine, resting your head against his chest while he jostles around to check his phone, which sits on the coffee table. kuroro sighs, recognizing the id. “i’ve got to take this, darling.”

sighing, you pause the show you had been watching, before you took a horizontal approach and ignored the show in favor of each other. kuroro settles back against the couch, answering the phone.

“what is it?”

“i know you’re busy, but i need your help,” phinks says through the receiver. “i’ve got— I’ve got a date tomorrow and i still don’t know what we’re doing.”

“ah,” kuroro says, the tension fully leaving his body. he slides his hand up and down your back. “just do dinner. there’s no reason to stress yourself out.”

“i can’t just do dinner, i really— they’re a dime piece, boss.”

“you would hate all my date ideas,” kuroro says, glancing at you.

you raise an eyebrow, mouthing, who is it?

kuroro holds his phone up to you so you can read phinks’s name.

“i’m running out of time. i’ll do something boring.”

“then just do dinner,” kuroro repeats, “or take them to do that go-karting thing you were talking about.”

“oh, that’s a good idea,” phinks agrees.

“then do dinner after. and clean your apartment.”

“what?”

“clean your apartment so when you come home it’s tidy.”

“it’s fine—“

“they might want to come back to your place for a nightcap,” kuroro says.

“a nightcap?”

“so you should go to the store.”

“but we’ll have just eaten.”

kuroro opens his mouth to speak, but you step in. “phinks, they might want to sleep with you. go to the store and get some snack stuff, like crackers and cheese and meat, along with a scented candle.”

“oh, h-hey, didn’t realize you were there,” phinks says sheepishly.

“hi. take them go karting or whatever so you have an activity you’re into and then to dinner.” your words are clipped, a little irritated with the interruption.

“where should we get dinner?”

“what about a sushi place?”

“doesn’t that seem too fancy?”

you sigh, resting your forehead against kuroro’s bare chest. this phone call needs to end.

“it’s a first date, it’s supposed to be fancy,” kuroro says. “you know who you should call? franklin. i’m sure he has better advice than i do.”

“franklin isn’t dating any—”

“good luck on the date. let us know how it goes,” kuroro says, hanging up the phone and resting it back on the coffee table.

you raise your head once more, smiling at kuroro. “look at him, going on a date.”

“it’s nice to hear.”

“i hope they like go karting,” you grin.

kuroro hums, “hope so,”already closing the distance between you again.

#chrollo x reader #technically #by ophelia

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rustycopper4use · 9 months

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It’s Always Been You pt10

(Kyoya x Male Reader)

Chapter ten

-A Day In The Life Of The Fujioka Family-

A soft buzz emits from Y/n’s phone. And then another, then five more after.

He blindly searched his bed, after a few attempts he finally found it.

He rubs his eye with a yawn, while looking at his screen. He saw the caller id, and with a groan he answered the call.

“What did you two do?” He muttered, dragging himself out of bed.

Inhuman yells came from the other end, Y/n scrunched his face and pulled the phone away from his now ringing ear.

“We are going to visit Haruhi!” The twins cheered.

“Uh huh, when.” Y/n tiredly spoke looking for any clean clothes.

“Yeah.. okay see you then.” Y/n hanged up, tossing his phone onto his bed.

He rubbed his face, trying to gain the last bit of motivation to get through the day.

He digs through his closet, trying to find an outfit that made him not want to cry, which today was proving difficult.

He finally settled on a black hoodie with a beat up army jacket, with a few patches, he grabbed his phone.

He leaves his room heading to the bathroom, he does his usual routine, half alive but still.

He heads down the stairs, he makes a poorly made coffee, and sits down at the kitchen counter. He watched as the steam twirled and danced into the air. He sighed before downing the drink.

His phone rings, telling that the club was here.

He gets up, puts on his shoes and heads out the door.

The club arrived at an apartment complex, as they left from sleek black limousine, a crowd formed around them.

And in perfect timing Haruhi just came back from the store.

When she saw the scene, she groaned in annoyance before leaning against a pole rear by for support.

“So this is where Haruhi lives!” Kaoru looked around taking in the charming area.

“It’s pretty big huh? Bigger than I thought it would be.” Hikaru states.

“Yes, look at all the rooms!” Honey cheered, throwing his hands in the air.

“This building is what you might call an aggregate commoner dwelling. Haruhi’s home is one of the many units in this building.” Kyoya explained looking down at his book.

Tamaki grabs onto Kyoya's shoulders.

“Kyoya?! Why did you bring these idiots with us! Especially those two doppelgängers!” Tamaki whined.

“Well you see, I knew you didn’t have the courage to come here alone. So It'd be better if everyone came along.” Kyoya spoke with a smile.

He turns around pushing the twins back into the car.

“Alright let’s go home then, I clearly underestimated our great leader.”

The twins shout their protests.

“What! I’m sorry, please don’t leave me alone!” Tamaki pleads.

“Speaking of which, does Haruhi even know we’re here?” Y/n turned to Kyoya.

“No. Tamaki thought it was a good idea for a surprise visit.”

“Oh she’s going to love this.” Y/n joked.

“Now listen up men!” Tamaki yelled, having everyone stop to look at him.

“Don’t forget we must be polite, this is a casual ‘we just so happen to be in the area’ kind of visit. We’re not to judge the Fujioka family’s lifestyle. The words ‘shabby’ ‘cramped’ and ‘rundown’ are absolutely forbidden!”

“Right! Yes sir!” The twins salute, along with Mori and Honey.

“Don’t say anything that might offend Haruhi or her father and cause them to ask us to leave.” Tamaki continues.

“Well it's too late for that!” Haruhi cuts in fuming with anger.

“Haruhi!” Tamaki turned to face Haruhi.

The twins complimented her outfit .

“Shut up! Get the hell out of here!” She gritted her teeth.

“Haruhi was so mad she actually cursed at us!” Tamaki shirked.

“It’s your fault!” Tamaki accused the twins.

“Hey don’t blame us!” The twins raise their hands.

A landlady came out, to see what the commotion was, only to be charmed by Tamaki, irking Haruhi more.

After that, Haruhi brings them to her apartment door.

“I’m only giving you a quick peek. Three seconds, then you all go home. Got it?”

Honey holds up a box of cake.

“Look, I brought you a gift Haru-chan! I know how you love cake.” He smiled.

She unlocked the door with a sigh.

“Fine, I guess we’ll have some tea.”

Tamaki let’s a sigh of relief, thankful Haruhi was living in a better house than he thought.

“What a hovel.” Hikaru bluntly spoke.

Y/n hits his arm.

“Don’t be a dick, Hikaru.” He narrowed his eyes.

Haruhi took off her shoes, and Y/n did too, out of habit.

“Hold on, are we supposed to take off our shoes?” Honey asked Haruhi.

“Please if you don’t mind.”

“Do you have any slippers for us Haruhi?” Hikaru took off his shoes.

“Wait, the rooms are covered with tatami mats.” Kaoru noticed.

“In that case we don’t need any.” The twins spoke together.

The clubs walks in the room,

“Woah, talk about small!” Hikaru hits his head.

“Be careful! That lightbulb is just hanging from the ceiling!” Kaoru warned.

“This place is quite unpleasant but I may have underestimated commoner housing, I know it’s a tight fit here.” Tamaki sits on the floor with his knees to his chest.

“But just pull your knees in and sit gym style! Commoners have specially developed this position to conserve space.”

“I’m gonna make us some tea.” Haruhi spoke already regretting this.

“Sorry they get excited in new places, give them time to adjust.” Y/n spoked, referring to the club as if they’re dogs.

“Hey here’s an idea why don’t you make this?” Hikaru holds up a yellow bag with red markings.

“It’s black tea that our parents brought us from Africa, so have a try.” Hikaru throws the bag to Haruhi.

“Um, sure no problem.”

“It’s best served as milk tea, do you have any milk?”

“I think… When's the last time I bought milk?” Haruhi mumbled out loud.

Tamaki freaks out and pulls the twins into a huddle.

“Stop it! What the hell are you doing! Don’t be mean to her, idiots!” He loudly whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“I know you’re trying to embarrass her by asking for her to make that African tea! Look!”

“She has no idea what to do!”

“She doesn’t even have a teapot!” Hikaru sobs dramatically.

“I’m sorry Haruhi, you don’t have to go through the trouble to make us tea, water is just fine.” Hikaru puts out a shaky hand.

“What? It’s no trouble. Besides, I’ve already made it.” She holds up a tray of drinks.

“Oh well in that case..” The twins get pulled back by Tamaki.

“We have been rescued by commoners' knowledge.” He whispered.

“We have to be very careful how we act. One little off-handed remark could break Haruhi’s heart! That means in this fight, the first person to embarrass Haruhi loses.”

“You guys are terrible at whispering” Y/n muttered, staring at the trio.

“While your antics are amusing, I don’t understand why you need to turn this into a contest.” Kyoya spoke, looking at Haruhi’s bookshelf.

Haruhi sets down the tea on the table, each cup from a different set.

“Teas ready. Sorry the cups are not matching.”

“Cmon Haru-chan, you can choose yours first!” Honey gleeful, held up a box of cakes.

“Uh, are you sure Honey-senpai?” Haruhi spoke looking at the box.

“Go ahead, we're rich, we eat this kind of stuff all the time.” Hikaru waves his hand.

Kaoru pulls Hikaru to scold him.

“I’ll try the strawberry!” Haruhi smiled.

Honey hands over the piece.

“You, me and Takashi are going to have strawberries!”

Mori hands over his strawberry toppings to Haruhi.

“You like strawberries? Here you can have mine.”

The twins, and Tamaki cry over this action.

“Isn’t it lunch time now?” Hikaru questioned, as everyone else finished their cake.

“Will you guys quit being so happy and go lucky all the time?” Haruhi complained.

“We’ll take care of it.” Kyoya stands up.

“We dropped in unexpectedly, so we’ll pay for lunch. Why don’t you order us some of your favorite sushi.”

“Thanks but no thanks, I know that if I let you guys pay, I’ll regret it later on.” Haruhi shrugged.

“Don’t worry Haruhi, we’ll just use the money we made off your photos I’ve auctioned off.” Y/n grinned, as Kyoya handed her a golden credit card.

“So I’m really paying for it after all.” She sighed.

“Well if that’s what you want, I do have a friend who runs a nice little sushi shop nearby, I can just give him a call. Their stuff is pretty high quality.”

Tamaki slightly gasps before writing something down, and giving it to her.

Haruhi reads out the note, before ripping it up.

“I’m not stupid I could figure that on my own.” She spoked irritatedly.

“I’d really love it if you made us something Haru-chan.” Honey sweetly spoke.

“I guess I could whip something up, but it’s gonna take me some time.”

“I’m gonna have to go back to the supermarket..”

The club chimes in that they’re coming too, the twins and honey run out chanting. Mori, Kyoya and Y/n follow after, leaving Tamaki and Haruhi alone.

A person walked up to Haruhi’s door, and when they walked in they screamed.

“Wait.. isn’t that Haruhi's dad?” Y/n looked to kyoya.

“I believe it is.” He looked at his book.

“Tamaki is going to make a complete ass of himself isn’t he.” Y/n cringed already knowing the answer.

The club comes back to the room.

“Hey boss, what in the world is taking you so long?” They look through the wide opened door.

“Woah check it out, that person we passed downstairs was Haruhi’s father.” Kaoru adds in.

“Hikaru, Kaoru, help me out here!” Tamaki spoke still on the ground.

The twins ignored his plea, and walked on top of him, to greet Haruhi’s father.

“It’s nice to meet you, Haruhi's dad. We’re good friends of your daughter, the Hitachiin twins.” They politely smile.

“So you’re a tr@nsvestite aren’t you?” Hikaru spoke.

Y/n hits him, bound to leave a bruise.

“You can’t say that! Sorry.” Y/n turned to face Haruhi’s dad.

“Tamaki, you've finally made your move, it took you long enough.” Y/n grinned.

“He’s a ladies man if you know what I mean.” Y/n told, purposely adding fuel to the fire.

“He’s fooled around with more women than you could count.”

“He likes to fool around huh?” Haruhi’s dad gritted their teeth.

“No! I’m not a ladies man! I’m a nice guy! I care about her!” Tamaki quickly gets up.

He bows down.

“I’m being completely honest here, I care about Haruhi like she’s my own daughter.”

“I get it, you must be the host club I’ve heard so much about. You certainly are a fine looking bunch of young men.”

Tamaki is sulking in a corner, while everyone else is at the table.

“I’m not sure which of you I like best! What about you dear?” They turned to Haruhi.

“I tell you what, why don’t you boys go ahead and call me Ranka. That’s the professional name I use at the trans bar I work at!” Ranka happily spoke.

“Oh that’s why you’re so familiar!” Y/n happily cheered.

“I mean uh… never mind.” Y/n nervously mumbled.

Ranka gives a knowing look.

“Professional name? You mean like a stage name?” Honey curiously asked.

“Exactly like that Mitsukuni!” Ranka affirms.

“Hold on, how do you know my name sir?”

Ranka smiled.

“You two are third years, Mitsukuni Haninozuka, and Takashi Morinozuka!

You’re Y/n L/n a second year, and you two are first years in the same class as Haruhi,

the Hitachiin twins. I can't tell which is which though.”

“Wait so Haruhi told you about us?” Kaoru furrowed his brow.

“No, Kyoya told me about you two over the phone!”

“You really are a beautiful person Ranka.” Kyoya smiled.

“Say what!” The hosts screamed.

“Did you know about this!” The twins whipped their heads to Y/n.

“Yeah, It can’t be that big of a surprise that Kyoya does this.” Y/n blankly spoke.

“I’m impressed the club has such a capable president!” Ranka spoke, hurting Tamaki’s ego.

“But wait a minute you’re only the vice president aren’t you Kyoya? I guess that president of yours is pretty much good for nothing.”

“You never mentioned this to me dad! Why didn’t you say you’ve been getting calls from Kyoya-senpai!?” Haruhi raised her voice.

“What am I supposed to do Haruhi? You rarely tell me anything about school!” Ranka argued back.

“So that makes it okay to talk behind my back! C’mon Senpai would you please stop growing mushrooms in other peoples closet.”

“Haruhi, the thing about you is-“ They grabbed Haruhi into an embrace.

“You’re cute even when you’re angry!”

“I don’t know what it is about him, but Haruhi’s dad reminds me of someone.” Hikaru looks towards Tamaki.

“I guess that’s why she’s used to Tamaki’s antics.” Y/n grinned.

Haruhi with a huff walked away from the group. Heading towards the door.

“Wait Haruhi, where are you going?” Ranka worriedly asked.

“The supermarket, alright? I have to go shopping and I wanna do it by myself. So all of just stay here and try to behave yourselves.” She harshly muttered, walking out.

“Wait! We want to go to the commoners supermarket!” Hikaru pleaded.

“I wouldn’t push it. Once she’s made her mind up, she’ll never change it.” Everyone turns back to look at Ranka.

“When she decided she wanted to go to Ouran Academy, she did all the enrolment paperwork herself.”

“While I respect her independent spirit, I wished she’d be a little more independent on me sometimes.” They sadly spoke.

“I hope you know how grateful I am. Since she’s found you, she seems happier and enjoying herself, wouldn’t you agree Tamaki Suoh?”

Tamaki whipped his head.

“You know who I am?” He gave puppy eyed look.

“Well of course I do, Haruhi’s told me a thing or two about you. You’re the host club’s bumbling president, right?”

He began sobbing tears of joy.

“Come to think of it.” Ranka takes a sip of tea.

“You’re the one who didn’t realize Haruhi was a girl until the last moment. You’re clueless aren’t you? Pretty pathetic.”

Tamaki goes back into the closet back to being sad. He’s quite familiar being in one now.

“Now that we’ve gotten all the introductions out of the way, how would you boys like to have a little fun?” Ranka spoke with a devilish grin.

The game ended up being following Haruhi to the supermarket

“So we’re going to follow her to supermarket?” The twins asked.

“This is what you meant by fun?” Kyoya added in.

“Yes call it the stalking game.” Ranka whispered.

A small group started to form admiring the clubs looks.

“In all honesty-“ Ranka took off her sunglasses.

“I have a completely selfish reason for bringing you with me. I want to be seen around a bunch of cute boys!”

“Sure enough, those two are cut from the same cloth.” The twins states.

They arrived at the store. Tamaki and Ranka followed Haruhi, Mori and Honey messed around with the carts, the twins went over to where the instant coffee was.

“I’m glad we actually ended going, I needed to grab some thing.” Y/n sighed.

“Hold on- are you writing down coupons?” Y/n looked at Kyoya writing in his book.

“It’s valuable information.” Kyoya counting to write.

Y/n lets out a small laugh then began picking out bandaids, and other materials.

As Y/n went down the aisle with Kyoya behind, jotting down information in his book.

Y/n looked over to see Ranka watching Haruhi pick out groceries.

“So that’s what a good parent is like.” Y/n turned back grabbing, an absurd amount of energy drinks.

“I wouldn’t call ‘stalking’ good parenting.” Kyoya looked up from writing.

“Yeah it’s kinda weird but at least they care you know, better than a call every once awhile for a favour.” Y/n muttered, reading the label on a can.

“What do you mean by that?” Kyoya asked.

“Just saying-“ he puts a can in the cart.

“I’ve seen worse parents.” Y/n vaguely speaks, going into the next aisle.

Kyoya just looked at Y/n, with a sense of familiarity over his words.

#kyoya is gay #x reader #kyoya ootori x reader #kyoya x reader #lgbtqiia+#gay #lgbtq #kyoya ootori #ouran fanfic #ouran kyoya

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shigironkii · 1 year

Text

With A Flick

Word Count: 3,033

Authors note: i had to redo my tumblr due to loosing the password to riddles-and-diddles, but good news! Did this kinda angsty fic based on eddie going to arkham and his s/o reaction to it! 😊💕 i might do a part two if alot of people like it!

Warnings: angst, saddness, its a pain fic

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Heartbreak.

Betrayal.

Its all you could feel when Edward didn't show up to your apartment that night he shot and killed falcone. When his boyish face was all over the news and morning, how many people fawned for him, how many people hated him.

You?

You didn't know what to feel. You felt hurt, lost, angry. Hurt that he would do this to you, leave you. Lost because you lost your only anchor from gothams grips. Anger for betraying you like this.

His real name was Edward Nashton. Thirty six years old, working as a forensic accountant. While your Parker, worked apparently at a local library. But you knew now it was a lie. It all was.

You missed work the next day, the following day, until you were threatened to get fired for pulling this shit. Eyes were dead when helping people, hands shake with pain, seeing happy couples made you break down in tears. That should've been you and par- edward.

Whatever were you now? Were you part of his plan? To seem more normal than what he appeared to be? To not let people or you apparently, that he was the fucking RIDDLER?

It was six o'clock when your phone buzzed in your apron, checking the caller id and only seeing 'NO CALLER ID'.

You ignored it the first time, groaning until it buzzed more in your pocket, picking it up with anger as you answered, hidden in the backrooms.

"WHAT-"

"Hello, this is Arkham Asylum, calling [number here], you have a call from Edward Nashton. Press one to answer."

You hesitated before the better part of your judgment could strangle you to death, but you pressed one.

"One moment," the robot answered, ringing went through your head as you felt sick.

How would this go? Would you be able to handle it?

It finally stopped ringing the third time when you heard faint sobbing and giggles.

Oh god, was he.. okay? What the hell was going on?

"Pa-" you stopped yourself, "edward..?"

He stopped abruptly, heavy breathing on the other end.

"H-hey [y/n]," he said, voice shaking.

Hearing his voice made you burst into tears, you've been holding onto them for a couple of weeks now, trying to be tougher than what you led on. You sobbed and sobbed, shaking as you wanted to yell at him, scream. For doing this to you, for hurting what little happiness you had left.

"Baby,"

"DON'T call me that," you snapped, something he never had to hear until now. "You fucking lied to me, you lied and kept going until your parade was over! Do you know how it feels to not trust your other half anymore? If we're even together still-"

"[Y/n], please.." he started sobbing again, hearing the last part broke his heart. He couldn't lose you, he lost Batman, he can't lose you now.

"No! How long have you've been doing this? How many other girls huh? Was it a distraction for your sick pleasures?" You hissed, your voice was threatening to break now.

"No! Just- just listen.. i- i just need to see you." He begged.

"I bet you said that to your other whores." You snapped.

"SHUT UP! just SHUT UP!" He snapped now,"I protected you from this shit of a city, I risked killing people for YOU. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS SEE ME!"

your breath was ragged and uneven, his was better at all. The two of you were silent before more sobs could be heard from the other line. Part of you didnt want this, didn't want to follow him in the dark, knowing what this could do for you and your life. But.. the other part of you needed him, for once in your pathetic life, you felt loved and cared for. Only him. Only he gave it to you without something tied to it.

"Okay." You said, defeated.

He couldn't help the laughter that left his mouth, happiness bloomed in his chest.

"Okay, okay.. what time? Visiting is mainly whenever, maybe.. maybe you could access my bank and pull out a hundred to convince them to let me see you in per-"

He was getting too far for this, guessing he forgot he lied to you for months now.

"Hey, hold on. Maybe.. just over the glass I can see you for now. Maybe."

He felt a little heart broken when you shot down the idea of seeing him face to face, being able to hold you. But.. this was better than nothing really.

"Okay.. I love you." He said, holding his breath as he waited for you to say it back.

You waited for what felt like ever, until your mind broke and more tears went down.

"I-i love you.." you said pitifully.

You two said your good-bye's and hung up, feeling a tightness in your chest as you tried to even your breathing, what the fuck were you doing? Did you want the GCPD and the fucking BATMAN to question you? Were you.. actually still in love with him?

You dissociated throughout your shift, making 'yep's and 'mhm's sound as realistic as possible for everyone. One of your co-workers, Kaitlyn, did not believe what you put on for the world, coming to you after you hung up your apron.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Hm? Nothing?" You said, not looking at her.

She pressed close to you, hand on your shoulder as she rubbed it gently.

"You know I'm here for you. I uhm.. I'm guessing the Riddler guy killed someone you loved?" She questioned from the blue.

"No- no.. just.. someone lied to me about who they were.." you said, playing with the strings on your dress.

Kaitlyn nodded, "here's my number," she passed a receipt with her number, "i'm here for you, [y/n]. I care."

You took it with no words, leaving the place silent and quiet as if nothing was spoken. You still had Edward's old car, beaten up and some parts gone, but he let you borrow it when you had to go to work.. on that night.. not questioning why he won't take you like always.

The car starts up, as soon as it does, you feel more tears threaten to spill, nearly moving down a couple as you drive off with anger and pain in your heart.

Coming home felt empty like it did now. No happy parker waiting for you with kisses, no hugs. Just you. All here, cold and alone.

Maybe the visit could help you, could help him. But.. did you want to still be with him? You now knew what he would do with his free time, how he was brutal. But.. they were also corrupted people, who took from him and you (technically). You didn't know, and while thinking everything over, you felt nauseous and felt bile start to come up.

Running to the bathroom, throwing up everything, you heaved and heaved until everything was gone. Oh how pa- edward would hold your hair back and gently stroke you. He'd be so lovely.. oh god..

This won't be easy.

You dragged your feet with each day, dreading to go to Arkham to see Him.

See how they treated him, his sorrowful eyes.. god, this wasn't going to be easy.

Maybe you should.. bribe the guards. To hug him, tell him you're here for him and you love him. But still, the sane part told you to leave him there to rot, to never touch you or love you again.

The bile began to rise again, quickly holding your stomach as you got off early that afternoon, running to the car and starting it.

It wasn't until when you tried to find the tylenol did you stumble on a photo.. of you two.

It was you, holding him by the cheeks with both hands, his face squished and blushing with a new years hat and sweater, your eyes closed and a dumb, happy smile plastered on your face.

You slumped in the car, locking the doors, as your eyes kept on the photo. He wasn't bad, to you at least. No man who hurted you would constantly apologize if he hurted you, if what he said was wrong to you. He loved you. You knew he had a rough upcoming, never going into details. But you knew now, as well as the whole city.

The drive there was tedious and long, hands shaking and skin so cold even with the heater blasting full.

It was winter time, barely snow but the frozen air could still be painful. But Edward always made sure.. you were warm.. oh god.

Getting to the Asylum, taking deep breaths, you pulled out what little cash you could get pulled, knowing this was in case things went okay. That you could see him in person to make him happy. Only if it went okay, you assured yourself. You had to stay strong for this, for you.

The cold air bit you harshly as you stepped out, walking towards the building.

Going inside, it felt.. inhuman. Not somewhere people belonged. Not where- no. Be sane.

"Hello," you said, voice cracking as you cleared your throat.

The lady looked up to you, eyes dead as she looked back down to her phone, "who are we seeing today."

"E-Edward Nashton." You said, breathy as you played with your fingers, cuticles to be exact. You began to bleed a tad.

The lady glanced back up at you, a very questionable look, and before you could think, your hand instinctively reached for the hundred you kept, sliding it under the glass as you looked at her.

"Please. This is.. needed." You said with desperation in your voice.

The lady quickly grabbed the money, looking at you with a more questionable look than anyone in your life has given you. But it didn't matter, you just.. needed to see Him. For answers, for.. anything at this rate.

The guards got you when the lady called them, saying that it's 'for a situation', keywording around the system to prevent anyone else knowing. Jesus, maybe Edward had a point, evrrythings corrupt. Even when it's supposed to help you.

The long walk to his cell was.. scary. The walls held no personality other than harm and hate. The screams and laughter from other inmates when you came in only made your skin crawl. God, if he could hold you right now.

"Nashton," the guard hit his cell door with a bat, disturbing him from his book as he glanced back at the guards with irritation. "You got a visitor," he said, moving out of the way from you.

To him, you looked.. sick. Eyes were dead than what they normally were, happy and lovely, but.. you didn't seem you. Not anymore. Not who he fell in love with, who viewed the world with such high care, now it seemed to only die. And it was his fault. And god, if he could go back and just tell you. Tell you what he was doing, who he truly was. What his purpose was.

You gave a nervous wave, when the guard gripped your shoulder tightly, bending down to whisper in your ear, "be careful. Hes hurt plenty of people here already, with his sick friend."

You nodded before he patted your shoulder, "you got an hour before a nurse comes and gets him, have fun."

You nodded again, words leaving your throat, "thank you."

You stepped in, immediately hearing the doors close to his cell, now you were locked in. For an hour.

Panic and fear began to seep in as he got close to you, gently trying to find where the boundaries were.

He never had to worry about that with you, not.. until now.

"Angel.." he said, breathlessly, as he hugged you tightly, hands grasping at your sweater as he sobbed.

You hugged him back, probably not as tight as him, but tears still went down your face. To feel him again, to hear him.. oh god, did you miss this. Miss him.

You finally caved in, the sick part of you, taking over as you cradled him and held him with such gentleness. As if he never blew up gothams sea walls, didnt kill the mayor, the DA.

No words were spoken, just his gentle sobs and your breathing.

That was, until you spoke first.

"Why did you lie to me?" You said, so broken and sad.

He looked up, glasses fogged and had tears on them, he sucked in his lip as he tried to speak.

"It's- i- i just.. it was too much, you weren't supposed to be in my life. I was alone for so long.. I didn't, I didn't think anyone would care for me. Then it- it got too much, then you.. i.. fuck."

He breathed, looking at you.

"God, i'm so sorry angel, i'm so sorry. You didnt- you don't- i-" he said but couldn't finish as you shushed him.

"Parker- ed.. ward. I wouldn't have left you. I would have.. I don't know. I don't know! But.. i can't.. you can't lie to me." You said, stern as much as you could be.

He nodded.

"You said.. you hated liars, don't be one with me." You said, gripping his jaw, not too rough but enough to enforce what you were saying.

He nodded furiously, tears still spilling down.

"I'll tell you everything, no matter what. I'll tell you. No more lies." He sounded pathetic nearly, begging as if you were to kill him.

You softened, you finally smiled at him! Your wonderful smile.. god it did things to him.

He felt your fingers drop from his jaw, but cup his face with such gentleness he loved ever so. How your hands were so warm and loving.

You looked at him softly, the tesrs were still there, but that love stare.. god. It was.. godly.

"Are you still going to leave me like he did?" He asked, broken and scared.

You sighed.

"I won't lie.. I don't know. This is too much for me, but.. I can't leave you. You mean so much to me, edward." He smiled at that, how sick it made him feel but he loved it.

Enough to lean in and kiss your soft lips, how dry they were but still made him melt so bad. He tasted of stale coffee, hospital food, and toothpaste, but it was still him. It made you still for a second, making Edward regret it as he pulled back.

But you only grabbed his arms and pulled him in close to you, arms wrapped around his body as he tried to deepen the kiss.

You pulled back a tad, the movement breaking his heart as he gave you a worried look.

"What-"

"Not.. now. I just.. we gotta start at square one again. Know each other more, y'know eddie?"

He nodded slowly, part of him was.. angry. That you suddenly didn't want this now. But he knew, he knew he messed up. These were his consequences.

Instead, you got up, grabbing his hand as you met him towards the sorry excuse they had for a bed, letting him sit down and rest his head on you.

It was all quiet, but it felt nice. Edward played with your fingers, noticing the dried blood on you cuticle, rubbing it gently.

"What happened..?" He gently asked, looking up at you.

"I got nervous getting here honestly.. afraid about what would happen."

"What would.. what?" He asked, eyes full of curiosity and fear.

"Incase.. we didn't work out. This, did not work."

"Why wouldnt it?"

You sighed, running your hand through your hair.

"Because.. i don't know if i'm ready to throw away my life yet. What you did.. i know why, and i can't blame you, but.. what if i was thrown in arkham-"

"I wouldn't let that happen. Not to you." He sternly said, looking at you.

Now was his turn to be honest.

"I'd still love you even if I did turn to crime, even when, yknow, it isn't, but you get it right?"

You couldn't help the giggles that escaped, god how adorable he was.

"I know, baby."

The word, 'baby', melted his heart to a puddle, a love struck a smile on his face.

"I love you, angel." He said, still looking at you as he pushed a stray of hair from your face.

"I love you, too." You said, kissing his nose and hearing his cute whine made you melt badly.

Thinking now, with him, you really couldn't leave him. He meant more than what you had known, seeing him happy in a place like this.. not when he needed you. Wanted you.

Like no one else had.

The guard suddenly came towards the door, tapping it lightly, guessing it was from the idea that you two mightve had sexual ideas for the time.

"Time's up!" He said, unlocking the door.

You saw Edward's face contort to sadness and anger, anger you guessed from the guard taking you away from him. You quickly gave him a kiss on his nose, getting up and doing your clothes right again.

"Ill see you soon, okay?" You said, bending over and looking at his gentle green eyes.

He nodded, a loopy smile on him as he sighed.

"I'll count the days, till then." He promised, watching you kiss his cheek before leaving with the man.

It was some time when it went quiet, the eeriness making Edward's skin crawl, before his new friend chirped in.

"Guess your girl finally sees who you are, huh?" He said.

"Yeah," he said, with a smile on his face still, "she's sure something. I can't wait to see her again."

"Be careful, ed," he said, tuting, "some people have different motives, even when we love 'em."

He scrunched his face, no way were you like that.

"It's not- no. She's not like that." He said.

"Just be careful, friend."

Even with the warning his friend gave him, you still stuck on his mind. The gentle kiss, your love. God it helped him. More than you could think.

#edward nashton #batman 2022 #riddler year one #riddler x reader #the riddler x reader #edward nashton x reader #dano!riddler #dano!riddler x reader #my writing

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antiquarianandunusual · 2 years

Text

When Worlds Collide (A DuckTales 2017/Darkwing Duck/DuckTales 1987 Fic) Chapter 2: A Crimefighter’s Guide to Escalating an Already Stressful Situation

Previous Chapter: https://at.tumblr.com/gyrodegearloose/when-worlds-collide-a-ducktales-2017darkwing/lpetxn2lvzqt

Next Chapter: https://at.tumblr.com/gyrodegearloose/when-worlds-collide-a-ducktales-2017darkwing/1mvlnpdh5a2i

Also available to read on AO3!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39020886/chapters/97741401#workskin

_______________________________________________________

"Fenton, I'm gonna have to call you back," was quite possibly the worst thing Darkwing Duck could have said, the worst thing he could have done being hanging up on him, which he also promptly did. Fenton couldn't even get a word in edgewise before CALL ENDED flashed across the screen, the red light flashing menacingly across his face in the otherwise dark laboratory. He sat there, dumbfounded for a moment before appropriately burying his face in his hands to muffle his frustrated screams.

Darkwing ignoring him, he could handle. It was, itself, immensely infuriating, but people had spoken over him his entire life; those were just the cards he had been dealt. What had him so appropriately upset was the onset of yet another dire caper. It came with the job, of course, being both a McDuck Industries employee and Gizmoduck, but they were only a few months out from narrowly avoiding being erased entirely from existence. He desperately needed a vacation from the brink of death.

He sighed and chastised himself for thinking that way. The energy spikes were concerning, sure, but science could be unpredictable, and it all could have been nothing- a measurement fluke. And if it was as much of a problem as it seemed, who was to say it couldn't have just been a one-time hiccup in the fabric of space-time? It wasn't particularly ideal because of the implications of something so uncertain, although it was better than the alternative. Better than the Ramrod having long-term, maybe irreversible consequences.

The latter made him sick to think about.

Anxious, Fenton clicked the "call back" button and hoped that Darkwing was alright. He couldn't see who he was with, which already had him worried, but he also seemed dazed when he hung up, which was somehow even worse. When the call failed to connect, he wondered if maybe Gizmoduck should make a surprise visit to St. Canard to check on his fellow hero, just for posterity, but Dr. Gearloose had told him to stay put and keep an eye on things until he could call him back. Besides, Darkwing was headstrong, and Fenton wasn't too keen with bickering on him even on a good day.

To his right, there was a dull buzzing as his phone began silently ringing. He didn't even check the caller ID before picking up.

"What did you find?" Gyro Gearloose, as to-the-point as ever.

Fenton hemmed a bit before admitting, "Not much."

"Not much?" He could hear the raised eyebrow through the phone.

"I mean, I think Darkwing might have found something, but I, uh... got hung up on."

A beat.

"Dr. Gearloose?"

A sigh. "You got hung up on. The very fabric of the universe could be falling apart, and your concern is getting hung up on?"

"I'm trying to get ahold of him," Fenton insisted, "but he won't answer. Something had him freaked out, I don't know-"

INCOMING CALL: DARKWING DUCK flashed on the computer screen.

"Hold that thought, Dr. Gearloose."

He clicked to accept the call. When Darkwing's video camera came to life, the only reaction Fenton could muster was a timid "Oh, boy."

_______________________________________________________

If Launchpad thought the tension in the car was bad, then he certainly hadn't been prepared for what he and, apparently, also Launchpad were about to be dragged into. He still wasn't entirely sure what all they had missed, but not-Darkwing was quick to send Gosalyn upstairs as they ascended the tower, to which she responded much like the Gosalyn he knew would: begrudgingly and not without making it clear how little she wanted to miss out. Once she had departed, Launchpad caught sight of who he was entirely certain was the right Darkwing Duck, standing by a bike he would have sworn was the Ratcatcher if he didn't know the motorcycle was in ruins. D.W. was massaging his wrists as he side-eyed the other crimefighter with a look that could kill; the other reciprocated it without hesitation. Still, Launchpad's arrival made Darkwing light up brighter than all of Megavolt's bulby brethren combined. The feeling was clearly mutual, considering how abruptly Launchpad scooped him up into a rib-crushing hug, relieved he was alive and at least semi-well.

The other Launchpad watched them and scratched his head confusedly. He turned to the Darkwing look-alike for some much-needed clarification. "Uh... D.W., what's going on?"

His pal put a forlorn hand on his shoulder. "I'm gonna have to leave Fenton to explain that one, buddy."

"Fenton?" chirped Launchpad as he set Darkwing down, who was still reeling. "I've got a buddy named Fenton. Fenton Crackshell?"

A beat passed, capped off by an odd look from the new Darkwing. "Uh... Crackshell-Cabrera, yeah."

Launchpad's face screwed up. He didn't know Fenton had two last names.

"He called me earlier," not-Darkwing continued, "that there were some, er, problems earlier tonight and I think our... friend, here, that we brought in might have something to do with it."

"Pfft," spat Darkwing, "Yeah. 'Brought in'. Not held captive."

His counterpart whirled around on him. "I already apologized!" Again, Darkwing scoffed; Launchpad shot him a bewildered look, to which Darkwing gave a dismissive way, as if to say I'll explain later.

"Anyway." As he continued, Darkwing Double bounded up the stairs. The other three trailed behind. "The plan is to call Fenton back and see what he might have found. Maybe this could just be a coincidence, or..."

"Or?" tentatively pushed Second Launchpad.

"Or... something else. I don't know."

Launchpad eyed him carefully. After living so long with people who frequently told little white lies, it was clear he did, in fact, know.

He decided not to try his luck.

At the top of the stairs, Darkwing Double stopped at the keyboard of a massive supercomputer, to which Launchpad gave an impressed whistle. Sure, S.H.U.S.H. had Darkwing set up with some of the best gear from their labs (much to the chagrin of a certain grumpy grizzly bear), most of which surpassed the most quality products known to the public, but this was the tech of all tech. The other Darkwing took his seat like a king at his throne, cleared his throat, and commanded, "W.A.N.D.A., call Fenton."

Silence. He sighed.

"W.A.N.D.A., call Fenton please."

This time, the computer initiated the call as the crew began to huddle around. It rang only twice before another window opened and showed the face of someone who might have been a Fenton Crackshell, but not the one Launchpad knew. This one was a few years younger, his feathers darker, and manner of dress much less tacky than Launchpad's friend. He was also sitting in a darkened science lab, a nice one at that, his face illuminated only by the light of the screen; Scrooge McDuck didn't have a fancy lab, nor did Gyro, and even if either of them did, Fenton had no business there. After all, he was just an accountant.

"Oh, boy," was the first thing he said, taking each of them in.

Another voice chimed in from Fenton's end, pixelated as if speaking through a bad connection. "'Oh, boy'? What do you mean, 'oh, boy'? Put me up to the camera."

Fenton reached down and fumbled with something on the desk next to him; he lifted up a small screen with a lanky chicken in the picture. "Oh, boy," the chicken echoed.

"I'm going to take a shot in the dark," muttered Fenton, "and guess that's what you were going to tell me earlier." He smiled timidly at the rest of them and waved with his free hand. "Hi." Darkwing and the two Launchpads all mumbled different greetings.

Darkwing Double hissed through his teeth. "So... you were saying about the Ramrod?"

All three of the others exclaimed, "The Ramrod?!" with different tones; one was darkly inquisitive, one quietly perplexed, and one outwardly alarmed. Darkwing Double chose the alarmed one to respond to. "That's why I sent Gosalyn upstairs. I didn't want to get her hopes up."

Fenton interposed. "We also don't know how dangerous it could be. The energy levels that we originally observed from the Ramrod have been completely normal for the past several months- the only time they've spiked was during everything with Bradford. But tonight, we saw that jump again, right in St. Canard, the exact same way it happened when the Ramrod was in operation."

"The problem is," interjected the chicken, "we have no way of knowing what caused it. Yet."

"We weren't even sure it would be an actual problem."

"Not until Darkwing found the two of you."

Fenton pointed at Darkwing and Launchpad. "Is there any way you could tell us who you are? Where you're from?"

"Uh... Yes, hi. Launchpad McQuack." Launchpad snuck a little further in, leaning on Darkwing Double's chair and waving into the camera. "And that's Darkwing Duck. Or one of them, I guess. I'm his sidekick." He laughed shortly. "We're from right here, in St. Canard. The bridge too, actually. Well, sort of-"

"Watch yourself," chided Darkwing.

"Right, right. Well, we were just out on patrol an hour or two ago. We were right on Dr. Bushroot's tail when suddenly there was this-this bright red flash, right in the middle of the street. Next thing, we'd pancaked into a brick wall that wasn't there a second before. Darkwing passed out, I left to get help, got lost, and then this guy found me." He pointed a thumb at his counterpart. "And I guess that's when Darkwing got picked up."

By the time Launchpad had finished, Fenton had pulled out a notepad and begun furiously writing. "Bushroot," he muttered. "Bright red flash... That has to be what happened. It has to be a consequence of the Solego circuit's overuse."

"Ramrod, Solego circuit... Can someone cut the science talk and explain- actually explain- what's going on?!" Darkwing shoved his way in front of the other Darkwing and gestured wildly at Fenton. "The last I checked, the Waddlemeyer Ramrod was safe in S.H.U.S.H.'s care. Besides, it's a levitation device and was only used once. What's it got to do with anything?"

The chicken addressed him dismally. "It may be a levitation in your dimension, but in ours it was used to open gateways to other universes."

"... our dimension?" Darkwing's voice was suddenly sheepish. Launchpad heard the mortification seeping into his voice and sidled over to place a firm hand on his slumped, caped shoulder.

Fenton was the first to speak up, if reluctantly. "We think that there might be some... adverse consequences to something that happened here. It looks like, for some reason, a portal from the circuit opened and, well, dropped you off here."

Launchpad felt lightheaded; he would have appreciated a word of warning before being hurled across the multiverse. He looked to Darkwing for some reassurance, mouth agape, before seeing that the wheels were already turning in the crimefighter's mind. There was a long, uncomfortable silence before he spoke, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. "Well, how are we supposed to get back?"

"Right now? You don't," offered the chicken without an ounce of sympathy.

"Sir!" yelped Fenton. "I- What he means to say is, right now we don't know. We just have to figure out how to do it safely."

Under Launchpad's hand, he could feel Darkwing's shoulders tense as he spoke. "So, what? We're just stuck here until you and your science team figure something out? We're supposed to just sit here and wait?"

"D.W.-"

"Now, of course," chimed Fenton, "we have only the best to get the job done, scientists who've sorted out much worse in much less time. But, unfortunately, that's still an affirmative."

"No. That's not an option. What if... What if... What if we tracked the portal's patterns to predict where one will show up? Then we could use that to get back home, right?"

"Maybe? But even if we could, that still takes time. We're not even sure if any more will open, or if they'll be connected to your dimension. You could end up somewhere entirely different."

"At this rate, what if we just rebuilt the Ramrod? He said you still have the plans-"

"NO!" shouted everyone but Launchpad, who recoiled.

"It's too dangerous," Darkwing Double pointed out.

"But that's what we're supposed to do, right? Get dangerous?"

Darkwing Double shook his head mournfully. "It's just not worth the risk."

"Oh, isn't that just wonderful."

Launchpad understood his frustration. He really did; the more the conversation went on, the more he longed for their cozy, suburban house, for a Darkwing Tower that felt more welcoming, for city streets he at the very least recognized. The very last thing he wanted was to be thrown somewhere new indefinitely with no way of knowing when- or even if- he was going to see his friends and family again. But Darkwing was simmering, and it was Launchpad's duty to put it out before it became a fire. "D.W., cut them some slack. They're doing what they can."

"Oh, I'll cut them plenty of slack." Darkwing raised his hands defensively. "I'll just figure out how to get us back myself- even if it kills me!"

And with a flourish of his cape and a storming spring up to the third-floor windows, Darkwing was gone.

_______________________________________________________

St. Canard's temperature had bottomed out in the last hour, which was unfortunate for Darkwing Duck- the REAL Darkwing Duck, he kept telling himself- because his costume only ever seemed to keep him warm very inconveniently in the summer. He was perched on one of the tower's ledges like he would back home, sans the usual gargoyle he would sometimes make small talk with on nights when Launchpad was busy with mechanical work. He had his cape wrapped around him like a blanket and that helped some, but he was still chilly enough to make a mental note to invest in heftier materials for his overcoat.

Darkwing felt ridiculous sitting there like a crimefighting burrito. He felt humiliated for being so adamant about solving this on his own, only to realize he had no idea where to even begin. He felt upset that he was outside shivering instead of warm inside, and even more upset that the scene he'd just made would have meant nothing if he went back in. He felt angry that he was going to be stuck in this stupid universe for an indefinite amount of time, with a stupid knockoff Darkwing Duck and a stupid knockoff St. Canard, with its stupid office chairs and stupid brick walls.

He was inconsolably panicked with no outlet for it besides snapping at other people and making a complete fool out of himself.

That wouldn't help anyone, he knew that, he had heard about it from Launchpad time and time again, but it rang especially true now since the people he had just berated were his and Launchpad's best chance at making it home in one piece. But he felt trapped at sea without a lifeboat. Usually, Launchpad could be his lifesaver- not always the best one, but one, nonetheless- but with him there, too, it was like they were survivors of the same sunken ship. The number of times he and Launchpad wound up in mortal peril together left him well acquainted with that feeling, although this time it felt more like they were floating out at sea helplessly, raftless, in the middle of a hurricane as a band of malicious pirates crept over the horizon.

He just felt so hopeless, and it was because he couldn't stop thinking about home, about Gosalyn. Concerns about himself fell to the wayside when he thought about his daughter being unexpectedly stuck at the Muddlefoots' house overnight because Drake never showed up to take her home; Gosalyn watching the clock and putting together some choice words for him when he returned; days, weeks even, passing and Gosalyn wondering if they'd gone the way of the rest of her family.

Darkwing knew she worried about him as much as he did about her; she showed it unabashedly when it really mattered. He also knew how much it upset her when he didn't keep up tabs. Most people she had known had either left for better things or outright died, and Darkwing prided himself on his dedication to breaking the pattern. What kind of father would he be if he let her down like this?

At least he knew she was safe. He was none too happy that the last place he had left her was with Herb and Binkie, but he had faith that they wouldn't be so callous as to send her right back to the orphanage at the first sign of trouble. Even better, they were unassuming enough that their usual villains shouldn't give them any trouble, as long as Gosalyn stayed out of trouble. The only problem was, however, that he wasn't sure if she could stay in line and even worse, what would happen if Mrs. Cavanaugh so much as caught wind that her legal guardian had gone missing. He wasn't entirely sure how long this mental ping pong lasted before he was interrupted.

"You didn't make it very far, did you?"

With a sigh, he turned. The girl that had walked in with the others was watching from the windowsill. When he noticed her, Darkwing jolted back to life. "How long were you standing there?" he squeaked.

"Not long. Just a few minutes." She stepped down from the sill and stood next to him, surveying the empty street below.

"Hey!" Darkwing leapt up, fatherly instincts taking hold as he began to usher her back inside. "It's dangerous out here. You could get hurt if you're not careful!"

She laughed. "Relax. I'm out here all the time. I don't need both of you babying me."

Darkwing narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. Drake Mallard was slowly but surely taking the reins. "You're starting to remind me an awful lot of someone."

She extended a hand. "Gosalyn Waddlemeyer."

He should've known as soon as she walked in with Launchpad of all people and as soon as she begged for an adventure the average duck would fun far away from. At least this one was safe and had her Darkwing there to watch over her but was just slightly perplexed; his Gosalyn hadn't introduced herself as anything but a Mallard in months. Yet, the despair seeping in kept him from dwelling on it for too long.

He slumped back down and gazed up at the starry night sky. It was even starrier than his St. Canard. "You should go back inside. It's late."

With all the stubbornness of her counterpart, Gosalyn sat down right next to him with a scoff. "Why? This is, like, our daytime."

A raised eyebrow. "You don't go to school?"

She shook her head. "Grandpa used to homeschool me and I just never got sent back to public."

"You don't go to friends' houses."

"Their sleep schedules are just as messed up as mine, don't worry."

"Extracurriculars?"

"Not as much, anymore."

"So, you're telling me you just sit up here in this dusty old tower all day and he's okay with that?"

"Oh, no, he's definitely not okay with it, but what's he gonna do?"

Darkwing shook his head wildly. "What kind of racket is he running here?! A kid like you should be out doing, you know, kid stuff! Learning things, hanging out with other kids, enjoying youth while you've still got it! Not cooped up inside all day!"

"But I'm not all night," she offered.

"That doesn't make me feel better!"

"Come on, you're way too intense. Besides, it's just temporary."

"Well, I'd certainly hope so. We've already had our house for almost a year, I can't imagine why he'd-"

"What? No, I meant... I'm not staying with Darkwing much longer. Or Launchpad."

Darkwing blinked. Gosalyn looked equally as perplexed but continued.

"Well, you know about my grandpa, right?" He nodded. "I don't know what happened to your Thaddeus Waddlemeyer, but that whole Ramrod thing Fenton was talking about? And before you ask, I was obviously eavesdropping, but it started when my grandpa kind of got sent to another dimension and I was trying to find him, but everything went so wrong so quickly and..."

She sighed and finally turned to Darkwing, all bravado from before melting away. Talking about this seemed difficult for her and she looked so upset, that along just about breaking him. "You're the closest thing we've had to a lead in months. I guess I was wondering if maybe you might have heard from him? Hair that doesn't look like it's been brushed in weeks, always wears flannels, can't make it five minutes without making a science pun?"

For a moment, Darkwing wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. Eventually, he settled on the truth. "I, uh... I can't say that we have, but you know that doesn't mean much. He could be anywhere."

From Gosalyn's look of complete hopelessness, he knew that wasn't the right thing to say. "Yeah." A pause. He opened his mouth for some damage control, but she wasn't finished. "You've been through all of this before, right? Or something like it? How good do you think my chances are of finding him? I mean, especially now with the portals and everything."

Shocked, Darkwing wasn't sure he'd ever been asked a more difficult question to answer. It was less about the uncertainty he had in this universe's matters and more about how much he knew about his own; even in the Negaverse, Thaddeus Waddlemeyer was, unfortunately, undoubtedly dead. And if Taurus Bulba had anything to do with it like the other Darkwing had mentioned, well... It didn't take a genius to connect the dots.

He supposed he should have been honest to save her the trouble of searching for what could have feasibly been a dead man. But he thought of Gosalyn Mallard and someone having this same conversation with her about him, telling her she should just give up searching for her own father because it might be an impractical endeavor while he was still very much alive. He quickly decided he didn't want to be that person in this kid's life and instead opted to give her a warm smile. "I think your chances are looking good."

She beamed and noticeably relaxed, and Darkwing's heart ached for home. "Thanks, Darkwing."

"You're welcome, kid."

"Now can you please come back inside and at least try to get along with my Darkwing? If we're all going to be stuck in the same tower, I don't wanna hear you two arguing all the time."

Darkwing hummed irritably and rolled his eyes. When he looked back down, Gosalyn was giving him a warning look. He had no choice. "Oh, fine. But he's on thin ice."

"Don't worry. I think you are, too." She took his hand and hoisted him up, already leading him back inside. A welcome rush of warm air greeted them as they stepped down from the sill. Behind him, Gosalyn shut the window to keep the cold out.

On the next floor down, the other Darkwing was fuming; he was speaking too low and too fast for the real Darkwing to make out what was being said, but all it took was a glance at two very distressed looking Launchpads to get the general picture. This universe's Launchpad was trying to talk his Darkwing down but couldn't get a word in edgewise. Next to them, Darkwing's Launchpad was a nervous wreck, pacing back and forth, wringing his aviator's cap in his hands. When the sidekick noticed his hero, he threw the crumped hat back on and exclaimed, "D.W.! There you are! Where'd you run off to?!"

Darkwing pulled nervously at his collar and laughed sheepishly. "I made it out to my usual ledge and them... erm... took some time to ponder my next move. You know, instead of going into unfamiliar territory blind."

"He was moping," chimed Gosalyn.

"Ah, yes," snarked the other Darkwing, "like a true hero."

"Says Mr. 'We're Doomed! All of Our Dreams Are Nightmares!'" Her impression of him was accurate enough that he huffed, embarrassed.

"Look." Darkwing sighed as he started down the stairs. "I like this about as much as you do, which I'm guessing isn't a lot. But it's looking like we're going to be spending a lot of time together, whether we like it or not. Now, we can't get home without your help, and you can't figure out your little Ramrod problem without mine. So, what do you say we let bygones be bygones and be... begrudging partners in crime?"

Other Darkwing glared up at him warily before sighing dramatically. "Alright. Begrudging partners in crime."

They took each other's hands, the grips fitting together like gloves, and shook on it.

_______________________________________________________

"I don't get it, Herb." Binkie Muddlefoot had been dancing between watching the clock on the kitchen wall and looking out the window for any sign of her neighbors. She kept her voiced hushed so as not to alert the kids, who had fallen asleep in the living room hours before. "Drake's never this late picking Gosalyn up."

"Oh, old Drakester probably just got stuck in some traffic downtown. I'm sure he'll show up any minute now." Herb draped a reassuring arm over her shoulder. She leaned into him amicably, careful not to give away that she wasn't entirely convinced.

"Of course, dear."

A beat passed and, in the silence, Binkie, looking up to see Herb's face, could see the gears turning. The expression that gradually crossed his face told her that the results were unpleasant at best. "You'd think at least Launchpad would have called by now. Hmm... Maybe we should call that girlfriend of Drake's. She might know where they're at." He moved to grab the phone book out from under one of the dining table's legs, but Binkie waved a dismissive hand.

"I already tried. She's not in there."

"Mrs. Muddlefoot?"

Herb jumped and bumped his head on the underside of the table, and Binkie rushed over to help him back up. She turned to Gosalyn, who was surprisingly silent walking into the kitchen as she rubbed her eyes tiredly. "Oh, Gosalyn, dear, what are you doing up? It's almost one in the morning."

"I just wanted to know if Dad's home, yet."

"Not yet," Binkie conceded. "But we're sure he'll be back soon."

Herb gave a slightly off-kilter thumbs-up. "We're just keeping watch for ya until then, little lady."

"Now, why don't you go back into the family room with the boys, and we'll come get you when he's here, alright?"

"But-"

"No 'buts'," Herb chided. "You three have school in the morning."

Binkie guided Gosalyn back through the kitchen doors and into the main room, a blinding ray of light spilling across the floor before she was cast back into darkness. Neither Honker nor Tank stirred as Gosalyn disregarded what she had been told and tiptoed over to the window. She pulled back the curtain and hoped she would only be standing watch for a few minutes before a flustered Drake came storming down the sidewalk with Launchpad in tow.

Binkie and Herb ended up calling it a night before she moved. In fact, it wasn't until the dawn light shone into the living room and the parents descended to gather them for school that she even looked away.

The matron Muddlefoot tried to convince her it was nothing- that he stayed overnight at a friend's house or got caught up in his work. But Gosalyn, maybe just a little out of sorts from sleep deprivation, knew better than that.

Something was very wrong.

#fanfiction #fan works #darkwing duck #ducktales 2017 #ducktales #drake mallard #launchpad mcquack #gosalyn waddlemeyer #gosalyn mallard #fenton crackshell cabrera #fenton crackshell-cabrera #gyro gearloose #herb muddlefoot #binkie muddlefoot

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peejsocks · 2 years

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How about a f!reader x Bam fic where Bam comforts you after a breakup with someone outside of jackass crew and ends up confessing he’s loved you ever since he first met you? ;-; love your writing 💜

a/n: oh this is so sweet, i loved writing it. thank you for requesting, angel <3 disclaimers/tags: implied smut

It always bugged you how after a breakup you're supposed to be okay with the fact there is a person out there who knows all these intricate details about you but isn't part of your life anymore. How do you play around with intimacy like that?

"Hey. I'm in West Chester. Are you busy?" Bam's unique accent fills your ears, clearly confused but the answer is still the correct one. It's the happiest you've felt in a week. "Wanna get ice cream?"

The taxi driver must have somewhere more important to be, because as soon as the tires screech (and the back of your head slams pretty harsh against the seat) a cupped hand is shoved in your face. Fumbling with the seatbelt after paying, he seems impatient and you apologize.

Just as quick as the small man driving had breaked, he runs off again before you can say goodbye. It sucks, a polite interaction with a stranger could have really helped your mood right now. Hopefully hanging out with a friend you hadn't seen in a while would do the trick.

Ringing the bell, you're greeted by a very shocked April. Of course he'd forget to mention you were coming by. It wouldn't surprise you if he had forgotten the call completely, only now noticing he sounded sleepy on the phone.

"I'm sorry to show up lik-"

Quickly, you're pulled into a motherly hug, hands patting your back and rocking you side to side. It's a delightful welcome, better than you expected.

"Never apologize, there's always people in this house and not often enough are you one of them. Come in, Phil's in his office and Bam is in the shower. I'm watching this ridiculous soap opera…"

Biting your nails, you're trying to catch up with April's explanation of the convoluted plot when the person you were waiting for waltzed into the living room.

"Twenty-five minute shower? Who are you and what did you do to my friend?" Getting up from the couch, you walk right into Bam's open arms. A warm feeling brews in your stomach. Safe right where you are, not anywhere else in the world.

You knew you could count on it.

The fabric of his black hoodie is right up to your nose and it smells strongly of body cologne, and you can't not tease him. "You smell nice. A little strong."

Arms still wrapped around your lower back, his question comes quicker than you expected. "You don't like it?"

"I mean, it's still you, just better." Finally stepping back, Bam rolls his eyes when you wink at him.

"What are you doing here out of nowhere?"

"Get your keys, we'll talk on the way."

When he asks which keys, you can't help but request the Hummer. It's the type of night where the feeling of wind in your hair might temporarily fix all your problems.

Waiving goodbye to the blonde woman now turned around on the couch, you graciously dismiss her plea for you to stay longer, offering the guest bedroom.

It's quiet outside, the faint noise of crickets and leaves rustling with the wind calming your mind as you walk alongside Bam to his garage.

Your friend speaks for you during the drive to the furthest convenience store. It's on purpose, Bam catching on to the fact you didn't feel like talking and probably needed to enjoy the ride in the fresh air of the night. You don't know what gave it away, but it's relieving.

Sitting on the hood of the car, parked in front of the store but away from the bright streetlamps, you end up buying one big milkshake to share and pouring mini bottles of liquor on it. The taste is atrocious, but the colorful plastic straws you insisted on buying made it too fun to complain. You also bought canned wine and cheap beer with no need to take out your fake ID.

"You came all the way to West Chester for ice cream? It's not like we're famous for it. Or for, well, anything."

Laughing with the straw in between your lips, you prepare to start the uncomfortable conversation. "I wanted to see you."

It's not untrue. Hanging with the CKY boys was the best, fitting in so well you constantly considered abandoning the L.A. lifestyle and switching it for the smaller district in Pennsylvania.

"I'm flattered. But it hasn't been that long, the Jackass break started, what, two months ago?" He hands you a napkin to wipe at the side of your mouth and offers to open the can of wine with a slightly disgusted expression.

"I disagree. I think it's been too long, actually. Why can't I just go out with you?"

"Because your boyfriend doesn't like me very much. I bet he's fuming about you being here."

Declining the last sips of milkshake, you decide to try the wine even if it's definitely going to upset your stomach. "I didn't tell him. We broke up a week ago."

The red warm liquid almost comes back up. Whether it's because of the truth or the horrible taste, you're not sure.

Bam's frozen, body turned to you, words uncertain and robotic. "Sorry. What happened?"

"Don't be, you couldn't even stand to talk to each other for more than five minutes." Your chuckle is cynical, always a point of contension how you couldn't share your time between your then boyfriend and one of your closest friends and co-stars. "Nothing happened, it had just been shit for a while. He said some things I didn't like, there was an argument and we ended it. Haven't talked since."

Half of the drink in the can is gone with just another gulp, fighting to keep it in for better or worse.

"And that's why you're here?" He still sounds confused, treading carefully.

"Sort of." Brushing hair behind your ears and shutting your eyes, a deep sigh turns shaky as you fight back tears. "I was stuck in a shitty mood and I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to do besides this. Hanging out with you, listening to some Metal band I don't know, drinking disgusting alcohol and not thinking about shit."

"Cheers." You laugh, throwing your head back, not minding the tears actually spilling out. "But if it's only been a week and you haven't talked, how can you be sure it's over?"

"Oh, it is. There's no feelings anymore, for a long time actually." Shrugging and finishing the wine, a hiccup turns your sob story even more pathetic. "I wasn't having fun, I missed laughing and enjoying life. There were so many times these last two months I wanted to pack up and leave, come here to fuck around with you guys."

"You should have, it's been a lot of fun. Dico's kinda mad you don't call enough."

That information breaks your heart, and when you laugh, it's laced in sadness. "I think I was just holding onto the familiar, you know? I opened up, he has all that information against me, and now what? I pretend he doesn't know me at all? Relationships are for crazy people."

You moveto open a beer can, but Bam does it for you.

"Right, but did he even know you that well?" Asking what that means, it's comforting when the sleeves of his hoodie are used to dry your wet face. "You're talking about all this stuff he has against you, but you never seemed that close. Sorry if I'm wrong but from my point of view he never even made an effort to look interested in you."

"What makes you think so?" It's a fair question, never looking at your now ex-boyfriend that way. Maybe you had it all wrong but didn't know.

The removal of his hoodie to hand it to your shivering self is natural. On the other hand, getting distracted because of messy curls framing Bam's face is a little less common. Of course he was a pretty boy, but you hardly ever stared at him like this.

"I never saw him on set, only at 'industry parties', which is lame. The one time he went to a skate park with us he looked bored as hell. Stood you up for the Turbonegro concert." He's rambling, but not entirely off. "Did he even tell you he was proud of all the cool shit you do? I never heard it."

"There were good parts. Did you really notice all that?"

There's something in Bam's voice that makes you silently wish for him to look your way. You need to see if it's in his eyes too before making assumptions.

Stealing back the untouched can in your hands and taking a sip of your beer, he shrugs. "He was a fucking douchebag who didn't really deserve you. Not hard to see."

Your head remains turned to the dark-haired boy avoiding your gaze, suspicious of the unfamliar way he's speaking, never hearing him say anything like that before. "No one else pointed it out."

"Maybe you need better friends." He's still looking away.

"Apparently you're the only friend I need."

Bam finally graces you with a smile, but his eyes aren't exactly meeting yours, focusing somewhere else.

"What if I didn't want to be just a friend?" He's clearly uncomfortable, body leaning forward, one arm stretched down pretending to dust something off his pants. It's always been adorable when he cringes.

"What are you saying?" It's all you can think of, unfortunately, disconcerted by the cold air clashing with the heat under your skin.

"I'm saying…No, you just broke up, I'm not putting this shit on you right now."

"No, please, you can't do that. You have to tell me now." You put a stray dark curl back in its place. "If you don't, I'm just gonna get anxious about it, so you're giving me more problems to deal with. It's being a bad friend."

"Ah, man." Nervous laughing, he runs a hand down his face and stares right ahead. "The thing is- Well, the thing is, I don't know if I believe in shit like love at first sight but that day we met, before Jackass even started filming, I felt something."

Pondering a little, expecting him to maybe elaborate, you prod. "So you had a crush on me?"

The tiny bit of information makes you giddy. You had felt a connection to the skater kid immediately but didn't know he felt it too. It's curious, and you wanna know more.

"It's not a crush. It's more, trust me. Or I would have told you to break up with the asshole so we could hook up. But it's not like that."

"I didn't notice."

"Yeah, that dickhead was taking up all of your attention. It sucked. He didn't even earn it." The way Bam is talking now is like he forgot you're there, which leads you to think it's genuine. "I don't know if I'm what you deserve but I can do much better than him, that's for fucking sure."

Prolonging the last four words, big blue eyes widen when they finally meet yours, seemingly remembering who was listening and what he was confessing.

Still drinking from your beer can, he finishes it and launches it right into the closest trash can.

Softly, you ask, "What do you feel now?"

"I used present tense in everything. Read the room, dude." Opening another beer, he doesn't look your way still. His repression and sudden shyness around you is funny, the muscles in your face sore as you try to contain your smile.

"Do you think you're in love with me?"

A bold question that receives an even bolder answer.

"I know I am."

There is no hesitation or shakyness in his voice. Sure, it's drenched in fear, waiting to be rejected, but it is also unapologetic. Your friend is stating he loves you, not asking if you love him. He leaves no room for misinterpretation, exuding the confidence you looked for in past relationships.

Letting the awkward silence linger, the sound of a deep intake of breath is resounding as you adjust on top of the car.

"Bam, I want you to kiss me now."

Turning, his eyes scan your face to asses if you're serious. Putting down the beer can, he moves closer, grabbing your chin and slowly leaning in.

You close your eyes, anxiously waiting.

His lips are surprisingly soft, a little cold from the beer and sugary from the milkshake. Like the dreamy ending to a sweet date.

Breaking off, one of his fingers is still holding your chin up, letting you dictate what happens next. So you close the small distance.

Bam does not hesitate to push your lips apart and using his tongue right away. It's delicate, gentle. Patient. You're on cloud nine.

That kiss tells you enough about his feelings.

Before you know it, the both of you are making out in the backseat of the Hummer. Sitting on his lap, pulling at his hair, it's really hard not to drive things further. Especially when his fingers are running up and down your legs, teasingly exploring under your skirt before retracting again.

All you want to do is grind down, just for a moment, to see his reaction.

"We should stop, before it's too late to go back."

"You're right." As one hand squeezes your thigh, the other comes up to cup your face and plant a small wet kiss on your lips. Humming, it sounds more like whining. You don't want to stop yet. "Wanna stay over at mine?"

"The hotel is already payed for the night, might as well." If he asked again, you'd say yes, but instead he helps you back into the passenger seat.

The drive is peaceful, blasting music and almost falling asleep with your head leaning on your hand.

Getting to the hotel's parking lot is depressing, not wanting to cut short your time with Bam. Fuck being rational. "Wanna come up?"

In the room, Bam raids the mini bar fridge while you're in the shower, promising he'll pay you back.

You put on skimpy pajamas and fine lingerie, just in case, but it's not necessary. The night is spent away watching shitty movies, getting drunk on overpriced alcohol and wiping tears off your face from painfully laughing at the absurd stories Bam shares about his friends.

He has to call April and Phil to tell them he won't come home tonight, and you sit on top of the thin bedframe next to the phone - which he made sure to use simply to run up your bill - to make fun of him. The call is on speaker and it kills you when April reminds her son to 'use protection'. You had never seen his face so red, covering his eyes with his hand.

When he hangs up, your giggling is taken as a challenge and Bam pulls on your legs, causing your body to drop onto the mattress. Laughing louder, you kiss him back when he climbs on top of you.

Exhausted, you fall asleep with the TV on and over the bed sheets, clinging to his body for warmth.

You wake up earlier than expected, the sun still mostly hidden, and have morning sex under the blue-greyish light of the sky coming in. It's quiet, and meaningful. Intimate. It's healing.

Room service has to kick you out twenty minutes past the arranged check-out time.

Back in his passenger seat, you have no idea if you're leaving today or in a month, maybe taking the Margera's up on their inifinte offers to lend you their guest bedroom. Maybe you'll stay in Bam's.

All you are sure about is that there's a lightness in your heart you don't want to let go of.

#bam margera x reader #bam margera #jackass #jackass fanfic

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spiked-tea-writing · 3 years

Text

Haha We’re Married

Wilbur Soot x Fem!Reader

Summary: After successfully hiding your relationship for years, twitter fucking comes and exposes you

Pronouns: She/Her

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 1kish

A/n: TBH I’ve only listened to Wilbur’s music, I don’t watch his streams. I just really wanted to write this trope for a streamer. This was kinda self-indulgent *cough* hella self-indulgent *cough*, so sorry if it’s choppy and poorly written. Also I’m trying out headcannon forms. Unedited and unproofed

The situation at hand was very complex

The two of you had been able to keep your relationship under wraps for a very long time.

-Since you were both pretty major streamers on the platform, it was just easier to eep your relationship a secret instead of in the public eye

Y’all were young when you got married had already faced judgment from the surrounding community, and you guys didn’t want to deal with the entire fucking internet questioning your relationship

The decision was made before he joined SootHouse, mainly so that your entire personas wouldn’t be based on being a couple.

It wasn’t that hard, considering that your internet careers had started separate from each other, but it was increasing in difficulty as your popularity grew and you guys had to interact more, especially on Dream’s sever

Then when Wilbur had started streaming in the apartment, avoiding revealing everything became damn near impossible

Of course, there was speculation, rumors, fanart, and a lot of shipping, but the two of you had never addressed it.

Fun fact: One fanart of you two was so good it was hung up in your flat, right next to a picture from your wedding lmao.

Twitter was always breathing down your necks, especially since yall both wore wedding rings, but there was never enough evidence to put two and two together

They were thrown for one hell of a loop after both of you had been on Love or Host

The backlash got so intense to the point where you both made statements about how you both weren’t cheating since the relationships on Love or Host aren’t always real-life partnerships.

Since you were known for your chill streams one day you were streaming a “painting and inevitably smudging my nails” stream when someone made a donation

It was for eight pounds, and the automatic voice read “when is your birthday, and what is your zodiac??”

You let out a giggle

“Um I’m in September and a Virgo I believe. Actually, funny story, my husband and I share a birthday which makes us both Virgos so I’m actually not sure what that means for our compatibility”

The stream carried on like normal and you didn’t think much of your answer

Then the motherfucking robot voice came for your weave as you were blowing on your fingers

“Are you and Wilbur dating???”

You went beet reed.

“Haha no, we aren’t. I’m happily married.”

And yet again, the stream went on with any further hiccups.

After the stream ended, you went to find Wilbur somewhere in the kitchen.

“Hello darling”

His arms wrapped around your waist as you let out a sigh.

“Stream was very long but at least my nails look nice”

He laughed and started fidgeting with your hands

Your wedding band caught his eye

“I’m glad I tied you down.”

“My husband, the romantic.”

Smiles grace your faces but the sweet moment was interrupted by a phone call coming from your streaming room.

“Ahh fuck, I should get that. Could you call the Thai place for takeaway??”

“Sure thing.”

You made your way down your phone kept ringing

You glanced at the caller id which read Father-In-Law before picking up

“Hey, Phil what’s up?”

“Hey, you need to check Twitter. And get Will.”

The line went dead

You were wondering if that was a advil enduced fever dream when you called for your husband

The sound of shuffling feet against the carpet followed by your lank boiTM walking into your room snapped you into reality

“I was thinking Pad See Ew and-“

“Phil called and told me to check Twitter, and I’m hella scared.”

You could see his face drop. Twitter never meant something good/ Either someone died or someone got canceled for being a perv

“Might as well rip off the bandaid and look.”

You nodded and pulled up Twitter

The number one hashtag on trending was #SootMarriageGate

“What the actual fuck.”

“I’m scared”

With a bit of hesitation, you clicked on the hashtag, which directed you to the top of a thread

“After Y/n’s stream today, I’m thinking that her and Wilbur are actually married. Like it’s no longer a bit”

That tweet had an insane amount of replies, and before you could change your mind, you started scrolling

There were a few arguements, but most of the replies consisted of evidence the audience had found of your relationship.

There were so many clips that either had you mention something about the other person, to that time you walked behind Wilbur’s chair, face just out of the frame of the webcam.

Unfortunately, people seemed to really be catching on

On reply had caught your eye

“We know Wilburs birthday is September 19, and if you look at Y/ns last birthday post, it was the nineteenth of September. And remember, she and her husband share a birthday. I think that that’s not a coincidence.”

You turned to Wilbur

“Maybe it’s time we just straight up tell them.”

“You’re right. Should we tweet it?”

“Or maybe stream. Just confirm it and answer a few questions. Is that alright?”

“Of course. Should we do it tonight with the Thai food and make it chill??”

“Sounds like a plan.”

And so you guys waited for a few hours before streaming, during which you guys kept an eye on Twitter and got the food. You built a sort of nest on the floor in the streaming room to eat dinner in and give the stream some cozy vibes.

After stalling for long enough, twitch got booted up and a stream was started.

“Hey guys I got Wilbur here with me and we are having a chill stream and eating some Thai.”

The stream was just y’all chatting about the food for a few seconds, ignoring chat until finally Wilbur casually said,

“Oh, and what do you want for our wedding anniversary?”

He turned to look the camera directly in the lens, face deadpan. You let out a giggle before playing along

“Hmm, maybe we should just have a day out as HUSBAND AND WIFE.”

Chat blew up as you both stared at the camera, stone-faced. Wilbur stood up, still emotionless, and ended the stream.

He turned to you with a smile

“That was easier than expected.”

“Honey the stream was 3 minutes long.”

He disregarded your comment.

“Well now that that’s out of the way, shall we ignore Twitter for the next day??”

You rolled your eyes at your fantastic husband

“I couldn’t have had a better idea myself.”

#wilbur x reader #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur fluff #wilbur fanfiction #wilbur fanfic #wilbur soot fanfiction #wilbur soot fanfic #wilbur x you #wilbur soot x you #wilbur x yn #wilbur soot x yn

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moodymelanist · 3 years

Text

One Thousand Followers Celebration

okay I’m honestly kind of shook that we’re even here but thank you to everyone who’s a part of our little corner of the fandom. I love you all so so much and I’m so happy to be here ❤️ most people requested something cute and fluffy so here’s Cassian being drunk and and Nesta comes to get him. I hope you all enjoy!! 💘💘💘

feel free to read it on AO3 here too!

word count: 2975

—————

Nesta was halfway through her latest read when her phone started buzzing incessantly. It was just getting to the good part, where the main couple started to realize maybe there was something more between them than burning hatred, and she didn’t want to put it down. Frankly, it reminded her of her own love story, but she’d never admit that to anyone out loud.

She was forced to look away when her phone was vibrating so constantly with texts she thought someone was calling her. Sighing, she reached for her phone, unlocking it only to see her husband had sent her almost twenty messages.

Cassian, 11:52 PM

Nesta

Nes

I love yiu sooooo muche

Youe so pretty

I weish u were here

everyons laufghint at me but i miss u

wyd

nesssssssssss

are u ignoringme for a book agwain

Swethearft<3

did i tell u i luv u td

wait its ok I ddid

i want a kiss when i see u ok

The remaining messages were a jumble of Spanish and English words mixed together, and while she had a working knowledge of Spanish, she didn’t know it well enough to even attempt to decipher what he was trying to tell her. Still, she couldn’t help but smile as she read through them all, affection blooming in her chest for her favorite person in the world.

Cassian, Rhys, and Azriel had gone out to their favorite bar for guys night, and Cassian was clearly drunk off his ass. It was really hard to keep a straight face with him normally, but when he was drunk, she thought it was one of the most adorable things she’d ever seen.

Nesta, 12:01 AM

I love you too, you big goofball

I’ll give you a kiss and a hug when I see you how’s that

Her phone was ringing within seconds, a picture of Cassian filling her screen before she answered.

“Hello?” she said, marking her page with a bookmark before closing it.

“Nesta!” Cassian exclaimed. She had to pull her phone from her ear for a moment, but she smiled again anyways.

“Hi, Cassian,” she replied, trying not to laugh. He was just so cute. “Are you having a good time?”

“Leave me alone, I’m talking to my wife,” he said, his voice sounding slightly further away. He must have been talking to Rhys or Azriel, but the way referred to her made her want to melt. They’d been together for years and married for just over one, but it still sent a thrill through her to hear him claim her out loud.

“Nes?” he said, his voice back to normal volume.

“I’m here,” she said, getting off the bed to begin looking for her shoes. He normally called her and started getting ridiculously affectionate when it was getting close for him to come home, so it was only a matter of time before he asked her to come get him.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Looking for my shoes,” she replied, spotting her boots on the floor. Leaning her phone against her ear, she bent down and put them on over her leggings before walking back to her dresser.

“Are you coming to find me?” he asked. She couldn’t help but smile at how excited he sounded by the prospect.

“Yes, baby.” Nesta hit speaker and put the phone down on their dresser as she took off the oversized shirt that she’d borrowed from him, slid a sports bra on, and put on a plain tee shirt over it.

“Oh thank God,” he said, and then dropped his voice to a loud whisper. “You’re much more fun than the dumbasses I’m with.”

She’d opened her mouth to reply, but then Cassian began talking to someone else nearby. “Tarquin! Fancy seeing you here! Are you still mad about your windows? Nes, I gotta go. Love you.”

It was a cool September evening, so Nesta grabbed a denim jacket before throwing her hair up into a bun and leaving their apartment. Once she got to her car, it was a short fifteen minutes to get to The Sidra. Thankfully there was ample street parking around the corner, and the bouncer let her in with a quick flash of her ID.

Nesta walked inside, spotting her husband and his friends immediately. They took up a ridiculous amount of space in one of the booths, and she couldn’t resist smiling as Cassian visibly brightened by her appearance.

“Nesta!” he shouted, grinning widely as she got closer. So much for subtlety, she supposed. She offered repeated apologies as she walked over to where he was sitting, but thankfully most of the people there seemed to think his behavior was too cute to be a serious nuisance.

Once she was next to the side of the booth he was sitting on, he pulled her in for a hug, wrapping his muscular arms around her waist and laying his head on her chest.

“Cassian,” she said at a normal volume, endlessly amused as he snuggled into her. She leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head before turning to greet Rhys and Azriel, both of whom looked seconds away from breaking out laughing.

“Don’t you dare,” she told them, tightening her arms around Cassian as she gave his friends a look. They both hold their hands up in surrender, Azriel raising his beer at her before turning back to Rhys.

“I missed you,” Cassian said against her chest, his voice muffled. “So much.”

“Every minute without you was excruciating,” Nesta said, playing along. He looked up at her with a pout.

“Stop teasing me,” he told her. He was frowning slightly now. “I did miss you a lot, you know.”

“I’m sorry. You’re just so cute like this, it’s hard not to tease you a little bit.”

“Not as cute as you.” Cassian smiled up at her, pleased with himself. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes good-naturedly and let him tug her into his lap.

“Sorry to crash your guys’ night,” she said to Rhys and Azriel now that she was facing them.

“He’s not as much fun when he gets like this anyway,” Azriel replied, chuckling. “In his old age, he’s turned into a sappy drunk.”

“Hey! We’re the same age!” Cassian protested from behind her, tightening his grip around her waist. Azriel and Cassian had both turned thirty earlier this year, while Rhys’ birthday wasn’t until November. Nesta had turned twenty-eight back in April.

“Good thing I like sappy drunks,” she said, twisting around to face him. He gave his friends a smug look as she pressed a kiss to his warm cheek, his stubble scratching her face in a way she loved.

“You two are the worst,” Rhys groaned.

“Like you and my sister are any better,” Nesta shot back as she turned around. Feyre and Rhys had been together since their college days and had tied the knot once they’d both graduated.

“Speaking of her, I’d love to get back home to her,” he replied. He pulled out his phone and began texting, and Nesta guessed he was asking if she was still awake.

“I guess that’s it then, huh?” Azriel asked, raising an eyebrow at Nesta.

“I’m sure Gwyn is dying to see you too,” she teased, smiling softly at him. She and Emerie had colluded with Cassian and Rhys to set the pair up on a blind date last year, and everyone had been thrilled when they’d agreed to keep seeing each other.

“She has a performance tomorrow, so she’s probably already asleep,” Azriel answered, raising a hand to catch the closest server’s attention.

“I told you my wife was hot as fuck,” Cassian said suddenly, shifting to point wildly at Nesta as their server – a young woman named Nuala – came by to bring them the check.

“I’m thrilled,” she replied dryly, raising an eyebrow as she looked at Nesta. “He hasn’t shut up about you for the last half an hour, you know. Thank God he wasn’t making you up.”

“Thanks,” Nesta said, her lips twitching from trying to hold in her laughter. Rhys put down his card to pay for all of them, waving off Cassian and Azriel’s attempts to give him money for their share of the check. Within a few minutes, the four of them were getting out of their booth and beginning the walk to the exit.

Cassian immediately went for Nesta’s hand, intertwining their fingers before bringing their hands to his mouth so he could kiss the back of hers.

“That is so unhygienic,” she said, exasperated. “I haven’t washed my hands since I left our place.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he said, grinning at her. He kissed the back of her hand one more time before lowering their hands to swing them between the two of them as they kept walking.

“Who’s that guy glaring at you?” Nesta asked, noticing a tall Black guy staring Cassian down from a booth near the door. He had silver curls that stood out brightly against his dark skin, but he couldn’t have been much older than any of them. It had to have been natural, since his eyebrows and lashes were the same color.

“Oh, that’s Tarquin,” he replied, waving at Tarquin with a sheepish grin from where they stood. Tarquin flipped him off before turning back to his companions, who both shared the same dark skin and silvery hair.

“Why is he glaring at you? Do I need to talk to him?” Nesta asked, frowning. She was the only one allowed to glare at her husband like that.

“No sweetheart, it’s fine,” Cassian replied, laughing as they walked by the table. “It’s our inside joke. He threw a party senior year of college and I might have gotten drunk and broken a few windows in his house.”

“You what? Cassian, that’s not an inside joke.”

“It’s fine, Nes. I paid him back for it, but his parents were pissed. I’m banned from his neighborhood, actually.”

“That is not fine.”

“I might be drunk, but I know when I’m right,” Cassian said, just before walking right into the door. Azriel had accidentally let it swing behind him and Cassian hadn’t grabbed it in time, and it got him right in the face.

Nesta burst out laughing before she clapped her free hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. Are you okay?”

“The love of my life just laughed at my pain,” he whined, yanking open the door. Azriel and Rhys were absolutely losing it on the other side, making it hard for Nesta to keep her composure in solidarity with Cassian.

“Let me see it,” she said once they were outside. Cassian had pressed his hand to the side of his face, but Nesta got him to move it with her free one. His cheek was red from the impact, but she was sure it’d be fine with some ice once they got back to their place.

“It’s not so bad,” she reassured him. It was hard to keep a straight face with his friends – mostly Rhys – still howling in the background, but she got on her toes to give him a kiss on his face.

“It still hurts,” he said, pouting at her. “Can I get another kiss?”

“You big baby,” she said, but she leaned in and kissed his cheek again. “That’s all you’re getting. When we get home, I’m putting ice on that.”

“I love it when you boss me around,” he said dreamily, letting her tug him past his friends. “It does things to me.”

“Please take him home,” Rhys called from behind them. Nesta flipped him off before Cassian could, earning another wide grin from him as they walked towards her car.

“Thanks for the best thing I’ve ever seen!” Azriel added, both of their laughter fading the farther Nesta and Cassian walked.

“They’re so mean,” Cassian grumbled as she dug into her pocket for the keys.

“You want me to yell at them? Hurt their feelings a little?” she offered, unlocking the doors.

“No,” he said, pouting again. He got into the passenger seat as Nesta walked around to the driver’s side, and he immediately reached for her hand once she sat down.

“I’d do it if you wanted me to,” she told him, shooting him an amused look before starting the car.

“Maybe a real kiss would make me feel better,” he suggested, leaning towards her and puckering his lips.

Nesta leaned in and brushed her lips against his, but he wasn’t having it. He cupped the back of her head as he deepened their kiss, warming her up inside from the cool September air.

“Come on, let’s go home,” Nesta said, pulling away even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. He huffed and pouted but thankfully put his seatbelt on.

It was a quick ride back to their building, and thankfully Cassian managed not to walk into any more doors on their way upstairs. He wrapped his arm around her as they got off the elevator, which Nesta thought was as much for balance as it was to hold her close.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” he said once they were back in their apartment. He immediately walked into the bedroom and flopped on their bed, somehow managing not to knock anything over or hit Nesta’s book.

“You’re welcome,” Nesta said back, taking the time to take off her jacket and shoes before walking to the freezer to grab a bag of frozen peas. She wrapped it in a paper towel before coming to lay next to him, taking down her bun so that her hair was down around her.

“Can I tell you a secret?” he whispered, turning to look at her. His eyes lit up when he noticed her hair was down, and he reached over to play with it. She handed him the peas instead, making sure he pressed them to the side of his face.

“I thought I knew all your secrets,” she whispered back, smiling softly as she indulged him. She loved that she was the one who got to see him like this, that she was the first person he saw in the mornings and the last person he saw when he closed his eyes at night.

“You do,” he confirmed, pulling the peas away to smile at her. She gave him a disapproving look and he quickly put them back before continuing. “I love nights like these.”

“Why’s that?” she asked. She reached out to brush some of his loose waves away from his face so they didn’t get in the way of the peas.

“I never thought I would be as happy as I am right now,” Cassian said seriously. His other eye was blocked from the position of the peas, so Nesta just held the gaze of the one she could see as he moved his hand to cup her face.

Sometimes he would say things like this that made her feel like her heart was going to burst from how sweet he was. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He shifted closer to her, and Nesta inhaled deeply at the lingering scent of his cologne. “I remember when you wouldn’t even say my name out loud. Now you’re here with me and my peas.”

She laughed before answering. “It was the peas that really sold me, you know. I should have written them into my vows.”

“And you’re telling jokes? Tonight must be my lucky night.”

“Shut up before I take the peas from you, Cassian.”

“You love me too much to do that, Nes.”

“Stop using my love for you against me. It’s unfair and you know it.”

“Never,” he said, running his thumb across her cheek. “I love you too much not to use every advantage I can get.”

“I taught you too well,” she said, smiling softly at him. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

She turned to kiss his palm, as unhygienic as it was, and then got up and started changing into pajamas. He groaned as he rolled off the bed, stretching as he stood up to reveal a strip of golden-brown skin at his abdomen before walking towards their bathroom.

Nesta joined him to brush her teeth in another one of his oversized shirts and no pants. He finished first, squeezing her hip as he walked by her and went back into their bedroom. She quickly brushed through her hair and pulled it into a loose braid for sleep before turning off the light.

Cassian was waiting for her under the covers, laughing as he examined the back of her book. “Is there smut in this one?”

She rolled her eyes before grabbing it from him. “You’re insufferable.”

“That’s a yes, then,” he said, grinning. She turned the lights off and put the book on her nightstand before she slid under the covers, snuggling up next to him anyway.

“I’ll let you know when I get to the juicy parts,” she grumbled eventually. He laughed under his breath, pulling her tighter against him as he maneuvered them so her back was to his chest as usual. His heart was beating its usual steady rhythm against her, a familiar baseline that let her know she was safe and everything was right in the world as long as she could curl up next to him every night.

“I love you,” she whispered, not sure if he was asleep yet. He could fall asleep anywhere, and ridiculously quickly at that; she wasn’t too proud to admit she was jealous.

“I love you, too,” he replied, tangling their legs together.

It didn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep after that.

#acotar #acosf #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #one thousand followers ahhhh

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spenciebabie · 3 years

Note

could you do a blurb or hc where spence is going down on you and your phone rings and he makes you answer it??

if you’re comfortable with that of course :)) xx

I got one exactly like this I’m gonna knock out too:

“can u do a lil blurb on spencer being a little shit and eating you out while you’re on the phone😄”

— —

He loves going down on you. He loves the way you taste, the way you move and squirm beneath him, loves the little pathetic noises you make when his fingers are inside you at the same time. Loves the feeling of your hands pulling at his hair when he keeps going after you’ve already cum. He loves every single part of it.

So he’d never pass up an opportunity like this, you sitting on the sofa in front of him in a dress with no panties underneath. It was supposed to be you teasing him, but it was out of your hands the second he knelt down on the ground in front of you.

Pushing your dress up further and further slow and teasing until he revealed your cunt, soaking wet already, waiting for him. The sight was just too pretty, he wanted to dive in right away. But he knew better than that, taking his time to carefully litter your thighs with soft kisses. Working his way up to harsher ones, nipping and biting at the skin in an effort to leave a mark as you already squirmed beneath him.

“Fuck Spencer, please” you had to whine out for him to finally touch you. Taking pity on the desperate tone that laced your voice.

As soon as his lips connected with your core and your head fell back against the couch, your phone rang.

You froze completely, not wanting to answer it obviously, and waiting for Spencer to stop. But he didn’t, he just replaced his mouth with his fingers for a second and looked up at you to speak, his lips glistening already.

“Answer it for me baby. I promise I’ll be good”

Looking at the caller ID it was Emily, if it had been really important both your phones would be ringing so hopefully it was nothing. But you still didn’t want to answer it.

“Spence, she’ll hear” you moan out as his fingers curl up inside you.

“I’ll be quiet if you will?” He smirks up, answering the call and handing it up to you to take. You wanted to kill him, and you might’ve if his tongue didn’t feel quite so good.

“Emily, hey” you manage to get out in the most normal tone you can put together, and she doesn’t seem to notice.

“Hey, I just wanted to find out a time that suited you for a meeting some time next week? Nothing too serious, I’ll only need like an hour?” Emily speaks.

But once Spencer can hear her voice on the other end of the phone he starts to pick up the pace. Forcing his fingers in and out of you so harsh that it feels like Emily must be able to hear the downright filthy sounds they’re making. His lips wrap around your clit and begin to suck at the same time, and your hips arch up off the couch only to be pinned back down by Spencer. His grip so rough it must be leaving some kind of bruise.

You have to take a second to remember to breathe before you can string together a sentence.

“Next— uh— next week?”

“Yeah, any day in particular suit? I know we might be called away but it’s good to have some kind of plan in place?”

One of your hands comes down to rest in Spencer’s hair. Tugging against it roughly in a bid to get him to stop, but it only seems to encourage him as he moans out against you. The vibrations of his lips and tongue only making things infinitely worse for you until you have to let out a noise.

“Fuck!” You gasp out before you realize what you’ve done.

“Are you alright?” Emily sounds concerned down the line and you have to think quickly.

“Yeah, no! I just— my toe, I stubbed my toe!” You rush out, and it’s not the most convincing lie ever but she doesn’t seem to pry, “Um Tuesday? After lunch?” You throw any time at all out there just to get her off the line.

Spencer can tell the call is coming to an end so he reaches up with his one free hand to grab at your tits over the fabric of your dress, roughly taking one, squeezing it in his hand and all of the sensations together just feel too good. And you’re so close.

“Great yeah that works for me. Is Spencer around actually? I was gonna give him a call next but if he’s there with you?” Emily asks and you don’t have another ounce of strength in you to fight against it anymore.

“No! I’m alone here” it comes out as a little whine and Emily’s probably concerned for your mental health now too.

“Oh alright, I’ll call him later so. Bye then!” Emily hangs up then and you’re cumming around Spencer, on Spencer. Finally moaning out as loud as you needed to as his mouth and fingers continued to make you feel as good as it was possible to feel.

When he comes up for air, there’s a grin plastered on his face as he moves up the couch to join you. Placing a kiss on your lips so that you could taste yourself on him before pulling back.

“You’re a bastard” you breathe out, your chest still heaving from the exertion.

“I’m your bastard” he chuckes and places another kiss on your lips, trailing it down to your neck until he was pawing at the neckline of your dress.

“Don’t get too comfy, Emily’s gonna call you any minute and I’m out for revenge”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid concept #spencer reid blurb #blurb #blurbs #imagine #concept

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lostgreekgod · 3 years

Text

reminiscence

a/n: hello earthlings i bring to u another angst no one asked for

word count: 1054

warnings: mcd, angst. angst angst angst. idk if there are anymore, but lmk if u find any. oh also, i think i made it seem like y/n died in the end, but its unclear. it can be whatever u want. read at your own damn risk.

summary: you are alone, barely sane. It has been a year since Loki sacrificed himself to Thanos, since the war, and a certain trigger has caused memories to resurface.

pairing: loki x gn!reader (i didnt use any pronuns)

(lmk if u want to be tagged in the god awful sad soul destroying works I like to commit to once a while)

a/a/n: OH ALSO, LISTEN. THIS IS BASED ON THE SONG ANGEL BY FINNEAS, SO IF YOU HAVENT LISTENED TO IT, DO THAT & THEN READ FOR THE FULL ANGST EXPERIENCE.

Congratulations, you’ve been pretending to be human

So well

“Wake up, darling.” You hear your lover’s smooth voice whisper, the wisps of his minty breath tickling the insides of your ear.

Might even fool the neighbors

Reading your Sunday papers

“Mmm,” you hum, your voice still groggy from your slumber. Shifting, you pat around in the air looking for his face without opening your eyes. Finally landing your palms on what seemed like his cheeks, you pull him towards you and knot your arms around his neck, relishing the heat his body provided in the cool autumn air.

I won’t tell

“Happy birthday, my love.” He whispers again, bringing you to the present. You blink your eyes open, only to meet his green ones, twinkling in the hazy morning light, a smile playing at his lips. You stared at his smile—you loved when he smiled. It was like a thousand flowers bloomed in your heart; an invigorating breath of life— pure, contagious bliss.

but I know better than to

bring up the weather with you

and talk about the rain

You smile back at him, pulling him in to give him one of the sweetest kisses, wishing you could put in words how much you love him, how much you love what you have with him. "Thank you, my love," you say, pecking him on the lips again.

after you fall asleep, I’ll

kiss both your eyes and cheeks

He simply stares into your e/c eyes, his mind somewhere else. You brush your fingers feather-light against his lips, your index trailing the sharp edge of his jaw. He watches you admire him, his smile beaming like the moon on a cloudless night. He swoops in and takes your lips in another slow, deep kiss, your heart swelling with the emotion you felt.

"I love you," you whisper, your smile widening at the crinkles in the corners of his eyes.

you’re an angel

in disguise

"And I love you, my darling," he whispers back, his fingers tangling lazily in your hair. You could sense the excitement in the air around him, obviously for the lovely day he had carefully planned for the both of you.

you’re an angel

in my eyes

But all that could wait. He was the happiest man alive with just having you in his arms, neither of you needing anything more than your hearts responding to each other like gears in a well-oiled machine. You were his other half, and he was yours.

-----------------------

You groan at your phone ringing, the annoying tune that was default in the horrendous machine. Your head was throbbing, probably from the two bottles of wine you had managed to pour down your throat last night. A year, and you still weren’t over him.

An unknown ID. You answer the call with a gruff hello.

“y/n?” you hear a deep, garbled voice, and your heart plummets down a hill.

“Thor.” You breathe out, looking for an excuse to end the call. Pain squeezed at your heart. You weren’t ready. You weren’t ready to talk to anyone related to your lover. Not now, not anytime soon. You notice how it is still dark outside. You look at the wall clock, confused when it read 2 am. Perhaps Thor simply forgot about the time zone difference when he moved to New Asgard in Norway.

“H-hey, y/n. How are you?” he stutters out after a few awkward moments of silence.

“Fine,” you say, surprised at how your response to that question has now become the same, no matter who asks.

“Good,” he hums, birthing another awkward silence as he figures out what to say. You can’t seem to be able to breathe. Inhale, exhale. You chanted in your head.

“y/n ... I know you don’t like talking about him- “

You inhale quickly. No, no, no. The one thing you hoped so hard he wouldn’t bring up.

“Thor. Please don’t. I can’t.” Your voice breaks. 1 year. 365 days. A year ago, today, Loki gave his life to Thanos, all in hopes of helping you and Thor.

I bought a house to live in

You’ve zoned out. You can hear Thor saying something on the line, but you’re too far gone to notice.

“My love,” you hear, the same deep voice whisper in your ear. The one voice you’d do anything for. The one voice you’d died a million deaths to be with.

“Loki,” you cry out. The phone has fallen off of your bed now. You can’t hear Thor asking you if everything was alright.

But you’re the home I’m missin’

I know

You had no idea if you were hallucinating at this point, but you would do anything, anything to hear his voice again. To see him, and breathe in his sweet, rich scent again. You feel a sudden urge, an urge that fills your body—it tells you, don’t let go. He’s leaving, don’t let go.

“Loki. Please don’t l-leave me. P-please. Not again.” You choke out, tears welling up in your eyes. You wrap your arms around him, holding on tight.

“Look at me my darling,” he breathes in your ear, and your heart chatters a million times when you meet his green eyes. The same green eyes you fell in love with, the same green eyes you would trade the world for. The same green eyes, just as you had remembered them to be.

“Loki,” you sob out, your heart convulsing, hammering against your chest. Almost as if it wanted to tear out of it and become one with his.

Nothing good lasts forever

But nights with you are better

“I’m always with you, my love.” He says, and you could swear you felt his fingertips brush against your cheekbone.

“No, no. Stay. Stay with me, hold me in your arms, never leave. Stay forever.” You say, tears streaming down your face. You gently place your shaking palms on his cheeks, gasping at the warmth you felt. This had to be a dream.

So go slow

I never knew I needed you

“My love, my sweet mortal, listen to me,” he says, searching your eyes, his wonderful smile never leaving his face. “I do not have long.”

Your heart shatters a thousand times at his words and you scream, except your scream comes out more choked, without much sound. A scream that enclosed all your pain and anger. When people are injured physically, they scream from the burning sensation they experience on the wound, they scream from the exhaustion sweeping into their bones. They scream from the adrenaline-rich blood leaving their body. But this, this soundless scream you just let out? That was the scream a broken heart lets out. No one knows the true pain caused by a broken heart, until they experience it for themselves. No one knows of that feeling, where everything, everything hurts, and all they can think about is clawing their heart out of their chest and throwing it far, far away. They don’t feel the million things one feels from that one soundless scream. Pain, the same pain you felt a year ago, scratches at your insides, looming for an exit. A release. One that not anyone on earth knows how to provide, even for the sake of their own sanity. “Please,” you cry out, shutting your eyes and begging whoever was in control of this. “Please don’t do this to me; don’t give me something good only to take it away, please, please, please,” you pray to a non-existent someone, chanting your pleases like it would do something to help.

I’m out of step

I’m off my feet

“y/n,” he says, in his sweet, sultry voice, and you press your palms to your eyes, wishing this would end, but at the same time hoping it would remain forever. He pulls your hands away from your face, and he’s still there, his beautiful green eyes are still there, taunting you, torturing you-

I’m waking up inside a dream

Teach me how to fly

“I will always be with you,” he whispers, his eyes holding yours, “here,” he places his cold fingertips on your forehead, and brings his lips to place a kiss there. He then moves his fingers to your heart, kissing the little patch of skin there; “here,” and you know it’s over when he traces his fingers on your lips and over your jawbone- like you had done so many years ago, “and here,” he says, his lips enveloping yours in the sweetest of kisses, and it is sweet because you know this is the last one you will ever have with him, just one memory of his, purely hallucinated by you, and you’re sobbing, you’re sobbing and wailing like you did the day you watched Thanos crush his throat, you’re wailing like you wailed when you saw the light leave his eyes. You keep your eyes shut, and let your fingers tangle in his dark hair, holding onto him like he is the one thing that anchors you to the world.

You’re an angel

In disguise

You hold onto him like he is the one thing that keeps you from falling into the arms of death and losing yourself into the abyss. You hold onto the kiss until you are breathless, until there are tears streaming down your face—this time for a completely different reason, you hold onto him until your lungs burn for oxygen and your muscles cry from the deprivation.

You’re an angel

In my eyes

And suddenly, you can’t feel anything anymore, you can’t feel him against you, his soft, soft lips, his warmth, you can’t smell his wonderful smell; and you are too afraid to open your eyes. Your heart pounds, stretching against the loosely attached binds you had put over it not so long ago, but what also seemed like a million years ago; the stitches you hastily put in hopes of moving on—it is stretching, stretching—

Are you mine, mine, mine

and it rips apart when you open your eyes only to see your dimly colored ceiling.

Tonight

“I love you,” you whisper, your voice as broken as ever, your wounded heart and its freshly ripped stitches bared out to the world, kissing your fingertips and waving them weakly in the air as you feel yourself sink into nothingness.

a/n: sorry. I'm sorry. don't beat me up.

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miyuhpapayuh · 3 years

Text

Where You Belong.

It'd been two weeks since their breakup— if you can even classify it, as one.

Their relationship wasn't always rocky. Y'lan did everything to make sure that she was happy and taken care of and she did the same for him, but Cici began to feel neglected as time went on.

His job started to become his main focus and petty arguments became an everyday occurrence, until she got tired and moved out of his apartment, and into one of her own.

As of late, she's been enjoying being single, cumming and going as she pleases.

"So... when do I get the pleasure of seeing you, again?" Standing at the bottom of the steps, Cici and her new favorite man candy stand centimeters away from each other's lips, underneath the orange hued sun.

"Hm, you might be luckier than you think." The smitten man peers down at her, placing wet kisses on her lips.

"Mm., yo pretty ass better call me."

"Maybe I will....," she steps away from him and towards the door, her hand placed on the handle. "Maybe I won't."

"It's like that?" He asks with a raised brow.

"Always. Goodnight.," she sing-songs, unlocking the door and disappearing behind it.

Kicking her furry slides off, she sighs as the fluffy rug aides to her aching feet. Her phone starts ringing as she makes her way down the hall.

"Hello?," she answers, not even caring to look at the caller ID.

"So, you movin' on and ain't think to tell me?," Y'lan's irritated voice sounds through, causing her to roll her eyes.

"We gotta do this, tonight? I just had a great day and you're ruining it."

"Well, excuse me for being a fucking inconvenience.—"

"Yes., excuse you. You know, you got a lot of fucking nerve, calling me just to fuss at me about some shit that don't even fucking concern you.—"

"Since when does this not concern me?”

"Since your job became your whole fucking like, Y'lan!, are you kidding me?!" The huff that sounds on his end, further pisses her off.

"You just stopped caring. You were always working and always tired and I tried my hardest to be present, while you just sat there. You weren't the man that I feel in love with, anymore."

"Cici, I've been trying to apologize for the longest time, now. I know I wasn't there, like I should've been."

"Well, it's too late for that."

"Why?"

"Cause, I've been doin' this song and dance with you for too fucking long!," she leans against the wall by her bedroom. "I'm sure you out there fucking 'who knows what', so stop worrying about what I'm doing."

She hangs up and heads into her room, face planting onto the sheets and instantly knocking out.

Somewhere around midnight, Cici’s awaken by incessant banging on her front door.

"Ugh!", as she saunters down the hall, the banging grows louder, instantly annoying her. "Okay... either shut the fuck up or wait for me to open the door."

"Open it up, then." Rolling her eyes, she unlocks it and snatches it open, watching him walk in like he owns the place. Closing and locking the door back behind herself, she turns and leans against it, crossing her arms over her chest, her cleavage damn near spilling over.

Y'lan stands a few feet away from her, giving her a hard glare. "Can I help you?" She asks.

"You wanna help me understand why you hung up on me? You know I hate that shit."

"You're such a fucking baby. I didn't give enough of a shit to hear you explain whatever it is that made you act like I was no longer your girlfriend. I moved on and you should too, quit—"

"What?!," he cuts her off. She holds up her pointer finger in his direction.

"—quit!, calling me and harassing me about what and who I'm doing." His brow raises.

"Oh, so that's why you been hangin' up on me and shit. You got a new man in them walls and forgot, huh?" He strides over to her, now just a few inches from her face.

"I'm not a woman that waits. You know that. I've got needs and you weren't fulfilling them. Where's your roster of hoes at?"

"You really think I'm just out here fucking? That's all I'm about?" He questions, a crease in his left brow.

"That's how you used to be, who's to say that it still isn't?"

"Me!," he yells, pointing to his chest. "What's wrong with you?"

"You're what's wrong with me. I hate you.," she snarls, pushing him back. He grips her wrist, beaming back, this time closer to her face.

"You need that attitude fixed."

"Fix it, then."

————

A thick, sticky air shrouds the two bodies inside their bedroom. Pants, moans and grunts compete against the incessant slapping of their skin.

"Fuuuckk.... you feel so damn good, baby," she moans, taking her bottom lip between her teeth, again.

"Wet ass pussy.... I should fuckin' kill you." He grunts, before wrapping his large hand around her neck, thrusting deeper into her.

"Ahn! I'm sorry!"

"Shut the fuck up." Her hand reaches out for his thigh, as he begins to hit her spot.

"Oh fuck! You're gonna make me cum!"

"Cum on this dick." Her body jerks twice, while her pouty and swollen lips allow her foul praises, through.

"Come're." Pulling her up by her hair, his thrusts pick up speed, leaving her mouth to hang ajar.

"He gave it to you like this?"

"Nooooo.... fuck!" She quietly answers, making him move his hand back around her neck, tightly.

"I can't hear you, baby.... say it again." He grunts, dipping his hips into hers.

"No, baby!"

"He make you cum like I do?"

"No— unh!" Her toes curl, feeling him slow down some to dig into her.

"Then, why you keep fuckin' playin' with me, baby?" Moving his hand up to grab her chin, he speeds back up, the clapping of their skin refills the room.

"I'm n-not playiiiiinnng!— unh!, unh!, unh!,..." her fingers grip onto the foot board for dear life.

"I'm sorry!," she cries, feeling another orgasm brewing.

"You sorry, huh?!"

"Yes!"

"You sorry for givin' Daddy's pussy away?" Her eyes roll back as every thrust begins to hit her spot.

"Fuck— yesssss,"

"For tellin' Daddy how much you hate him?" He emphasizes his pained question with a rough stroke, sending a scream through her.

"I didn't mean it, Daddy! Fuck, I love this dick!" Her head hangs forward.

"Ohh fuuccck.... aah! I love this dick, babyyy— I love you!"

"I love yo bratty ass, too. Throw that shit back on Daddy." She bounces back on his lap, feeling him throb against her.

"Feels so good, Daddy!" One hand grips his forearm and the other searches for something to latch onto.

"You boutta cum again, baby?" He taunts in her ear, slowly dragging his girth in and out of her tightening cove.

"Ffff—" her eyes roll back as her peak begins to rear its head.

"Talk to me, babygirl."

"Yes! I'm gonna cum!" Her body hunches forward as her essence drips down her leg. She reaches back for his thigh, pulling him closer.

"Don't st-stop," her top half goes limp on the bed, giving him more leverage to demolish her without a fight.

"Fuck!, I'm gonna cum, again!" Her legs begin to tremble as he third orgasm rushes through, just as quick, making way for another. She presses a hand over her clit, hissing at the overstimulation.

"–—shhhiiiiiit!" Her quaking frame almost hits the ground as she cums again. His big hands hold her up, continuing to dig into her.

"Okay, baby!..... I can't take it— fuck!, ooh!, ooh!, ooh!...." replaying like a broken record, she squeezes against him. He moans in response, stilling for a second.

"You can't handle it, huh?"

"You're killing me, baby... I need a break—" pulling her up from the bed, he presses her against the wall and wraps his hand around the front of her throat.

"You don't deserve a fuckin' break.," the venom in his speech makes her thighs clench around him. "You gon' take all this dick, you understand me?"

"Yes, Daddy,." The lust in her eyes doubles for him. She grabs the back of his head and smashes their lips together, moaning as he grips her fat ass with both hands.

Reaching between them with her free hand, she guides the head of his dick back between her slit, her mouth dropping open as he slides back inside.

"All that shit,..." he reminds her, digging as deep as possible.

"Oh shit...,—it feels so good, baby!" She wraps her arms around his neck and hides her face.

"Shit... you test my patience... all the fucking time.," he growls in her ear, causing a smile to break out on her lips.

"Only, because you let me." Laying her head back on the wall, she stares at him, biting down on her lip at the way his muscles flex.

"I got you that spoiled, huh?" He asks. She nods, closing her eyes as the pleasure begins to slowly build.

"Yes, baby." Pulling her away from the wall, he lays her back on the bed, beginning to move against her, like a serpent. Her hands latch onto his back.

"Oh!," her lips part, her moans swallowed in his many kisses. "Fuck, baby!"

"You feel me, girl?" He grunts against her lips.

"Yes... I feel youuuu!"

"You want this nut, babygirl?"

"Yesss, gimme that nut....," lifting her legs up, she grips the back of her thighs, giving him the leverage he needs.

"Unh,.... such a fucking brat." His hands fall above hers, gripping her flesh as he drives into her, madly.

"Fuck meeee!," she moans, digging her nails into his thighs.

His deep moans multiply as he gets closer, the muscles is his back working overtime, flexing underneath the streetlights outside her window.

"Shit!, I'ma bust all in this shit, you hear me?"

"Yes baby!," she screeches, clenching around him.

"Ah shit... uh! Fuck.... mmmm!," his pounding comes to an abrupt stop as his orgasm rushes through him. His head lolls back at the feeling.

@soufcakmistress @504queen @ghostfacekill-monger @hearteyes-for-killmonger @uzumaki-rebellion @l-auteuse @blowmymbackout @blktinkerbell @supersizemeplz @chaneajoyyy

@captainsaveasmut @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @daddy-killmonger @killmongerdispussy @browngirldominion @issahyland @honeyandpeaches @nxxstybrat @write-fromthe-start @emjayewrites

#miyuhpapayuh #blackwriters #poc writers #smut #ylan noel

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prismatic-bell · 3 years

Text

@teashoesandhair since you have dragged me headfirst into this amusing Q-007 idea of yours, I want you to know I have come up with a plot.

The movie begins in near-darkness. We see Bond outside MI6 with a masked figure in black. There are sounds of a struggle. At last there’s a gadgety little beep and a door slides open.

BOND: you expect us to surrender?

HENCHMAN: No, Bond. We expect you to die.

A gun is raised, the trigger is cocked—and a phone rings. This phone turns out to belong to Q, who answers it with the charming “someone had better be dying, or you’re about to be” in the just-woke-up croak of a man still lying in bed with his eyes closed. A voice on the other end asks where he works. He asks “what time do you think it is, doing surveys before sunup?”

Bond’s voice comes on the line. It is EXTREMELY clear he’s reading from a script. He states the sins of the Empire can never be cleared, but they can be paid for. It’s quite clear from his voice that he’s in pain, although whether physical or emotional or both is up for question. Then in the same tone of voice he says “go left” and that is why Q rolls off the bed just in time for a bullet to go through it.

We cut to Q in power-walking down a hallway in MI6. He is wearing a polo shirt and looks deeply upset about this. A woman with a bun is jogging along beside him and apologizing because, she says, it’s the only shirt she still has from before. He stops, looks irritated, and says “M is dead. Her replacement just got kidnapped, the guy I’ve been seeing for the last three months was a plant, I almost got shot less than an hour ago, I’m reasonably sure someone is trying to assassinate the Queen, you and I are the only two people who made it to MI6 this morning, I’m freezing AND I STILL HAVEN’T HAD COFFEE.”

His coworker says they have to find Bond, who might have some information on what’s going on and, at the very least, is actually a 00 agent. She actually starts laying out a plan while Q finds a Keurig, brews a cup, and drains the whole thing in one go. She finally trails off while he gets to the bottom of a mug of genuinely alarming size. He plonks it on the counter, says he’s getting on his computer, and tells her to call the palace and ensure the Queen is under secure guard.

THE LADY WHO IS ABOUT TO BE 001 BECAUSE 001 IS POTENTIALLY KIA: someone took out all of MI6 in a night, including the 00 agents, and you’re going to trust a bunch of Beefeaters? Who all look the same in uniform? As though they couldn’t be impersonated?

Q: …..fuck.

Q, who is currently the closest thing MI6 has to a head of command, calls the palace in an official capacity to speak to the Queen directly. He announces he’ll be sending a 00 agent and under no circumstances should the Queen be without her. Outfits the new 001 with the usual—earpiece, fancy gun, IT toys—and, before he sends her off, says “give me your ID.” A minor argument ensues before he says “The only way to find all of MI6 is through the database. That means the reason they didn’t find you is because they were looking for a man, whose name would match with the one on your ID, now give it to me. The one time government backlog worked in your favor.”

She hands it over and asks what he’s going to do. To which he rolls his eyes so hard they might fall out of his head, and says: “I’m going to find Bond.”

The rest of the movie alternates between 001 and an action plot on her end, keeping the Queen out of danger and trying to gather intel from within the palace to see just how badly it’s been infiltrated, and Q first tracing a rogue computer signal and then sighing, grabbing a 00 kit, and taking off with something that looks like a cell phone but is actually a very tiny computer hooked into the MI6 mainframe.

This adventure proceeds much like a typical Bond outing, except that Q has to do it via backdoors and finding the nerdy interns and invisible staff of the high-powered people Bond would normally work with. He finds Bond, hacks him out of whatever mess he’s in, and they make for the exit in a firefight while Bond covers him and he ineffectually tries to assist. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to shoot a gun—it’s that previously, outside training, he has never NEEDED to, and he jammed the magazine. So as they go, he’s trying to fix the gun and keep an eye out for the door with the RFID scanner so he can get them the hell out of there. As they reach the door Bond runs out of bullets, Q finally gets his gun fixed, and as somebody aims to take off Bond’s head (complete with a laser sight, this guy’s not gonna miss), Q gets off his first shot for the entire scene and lays the guy out.

Q: ….fuck I just killed someone.

BOND: it comes with the job.

Q: it comes with YOUR job, I don’t have a 00 designation.

BOND: I’m promoting you.

Q: oh, thanks—WAIT—

(And then he shoots someone else. He still looks vaguely panicked about this. In all fairness to Q, he has had one HELL of a day and there’s been exactly one caffeinated beverage in it, and he still doesn’t have a cardigan.)

They get back to MI6 just in time for Q to pick up an errant GPS signal: missing agents! Four of them! That’s enough to make a skeleton recon team!

…but also, they’ve just gotten a phone call from the villain, congratulating Q on being SO clever…but not clever enough. The Queen is in imminent danger. 001 has evacuated her from the palace. “Ah, but London Bridge is falling down. Good day, Mr. Q,” says the villain, and hangs up.

From this, Q deduces that the Queen has been taken to St. Magnus-the-Martyr Church at London Bridge, and that it’s likely the villain means to blow it up. They need the extra manpower promised by that clutch of agents, but the villain made it sound like any moment the Queen would be dead. Bond announces he’s going after the agents.

Q: so that’s it then? We have to uphold the agency because England is about to plunge into chaos?

BOND: no. I’m going for the agents. You’re going to the church.

Which Q does, muttering under his breath the whole way. As he has been for most of this movie, actually. This is not the job he signed up for. But he goes, he gets in a very Bondish fight with his now-ex who is indeed a henchman for the villain, and just at the end when he COULD shoot him, he doesn’t:

Q: ….no. I’m not killing you. Give me my sweater.

HENCHMAN: …..sorry?

Q: my sweater. That’s my sweater, I’ve been freezing all day. Give me my sweater.

HENCHMAN: *extremely confused, but complies*

Q: *puts it on* better. Where were we again? Oh. *definitely shoots the henchman* Your Majesty. My apologies.

….to which the actual villain pops in with some sarcastic applause and an appropriate Bond Villain Speech(tm). Q realizes he has two bullets left and this asshole is staying just enough in the shadows that Q can’t accurately clock him.

There’s some sarcastic banter, during which 001 manages to get the Queen away again. The villain is pissed, but he’s like “that’s fine. You are, yourself, just a representative of corruption” and takes aim….

….just in time for the actual, original 001 to put a gun to the back of his head.

In the end:

1) The Queen is safe*

2) Bond is designated M

3) The lady Q designated as 001 is redesignated as Q. Also, in thanks for her service to the Crown, the Queen personally pushes through Lady Q’s ID with corrected gender on it.

4) The found MI6 agents begin seeking their counterparts, most of whom are alive and imprisoned rather than killed.

5) And, at the Queen’s suggestion—she’s shocked to find out all of this was masterminded by an IT tech, not a heavily-trained agent—Bond makes Q’s promotion official, and designates him 007.

ROLL CREDITS.

YOU’RE WELCOME.

*say what you want about the British monarchy and I’ll probably agree with you, but this is An Extremely British Franchise, so she’s got to live.

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