#you cannot end off a part like that and expect me to not loose my shit

[alfazoings]

becoming like the one you sought out revenge for

#hi guys im so unwell about ishmael #all my thoughts have been ishmael. #no thoughts just ish fish #im going to gnaw on concrete as i wait for part 3 istg #you cannot end off a part like that and expect me to not loose my shit #limbus company #ishmael lcb #lcb ishmael #project moon

[mncxbe]

what do you think about enemies to lovers with akutagawa x ada fem!reader with a really big sexual tension between them?

Yes. Just yes🫡 that's all I have to say. Hope you like it♡

•☆○

Laced♡

𝑨𝒌𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒘𝒂 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎! 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: smut♡/ one bed trope

Akutagawa didn't know how he ended up like this, sharing a bed with you in a crappy motel room in Shinjuku. He took a deep breath in, feeling the thin particles of dust tickle his nose and sneezed, mentally cursing his overly sensitive body.

From the other side of mattress you mumbled a half-hearted 'Bless you'

"Oh shut up" he hissed, his head snapping in your direction. You were laying on your side close to the edge of the ragged futon, a chiffon robe wrapped loosely around your frame. The neon lights that filtered through the windows illuminated your figure well enough for Akutagawa to make out the little bird drawings that adorned your nightgown.

"Your voice is pissing me off" he added, voice laced with venom as he took in your figure.

"Then stop sneezing and coughing every five minutes. I'm trying to sleep" you replied in a casual tone which only fueled Akutagawa's anger.

God, how he hated you and your composed demeanour; a futile attempt to prove that you were better than him. He vividly recalls your first encounter when his former mentor introduced you to him and the way your eyes scanned his figure with pure amusement. Oh, he resented the way you always looked down on him, thinking that you were superior only because you were working at the Agency.

The fact that you were constantly competing for Dazai's praise only made things worse. Each time the brunette would pair you up for a mission you'd go out of your way to ensure that you did just a tad bit better than him, whether it was stealing the target's phone, a classified file or simply taking extra credit.

And what was worse was that this wasn't even a fair competition: no matter how hard he tried to prove himself to his former mentor, you'd still get all the 'Good job Y/N'. All you had to do was breathe and Dazai would shower you with praise. It was so easy for you and it filled him with burning rage, a fire that grew hotter inside him by the minute; you were utterly insufferable and yet...

Laying beside you in this god forgotten room, Akutagawa couldn't bring himself to hurt you. He knew he could; you were both far away from home and the mission Dazai assigned you was dangerous. If you were to get injured it wouldn't come as a surprise. Plus, your ability was no match to his so he could easily kill you, destroying the source of all his anger and pent up frustration that plagued him day and night.

Still, something was holding him back; a force that he could not explain. He simply scoffed, gritting his teeth.

"I cannot fucking control it. Get your own room if you really can't stand my coughing."

You remained silent and the man cursed under his breath. After a while you rolled on your back and sighed.

"It's too hot in here."

"It's the middle of August, what did you expect?"

"Some air conditioning maybe?" you said in that condescending tone he so resented.

"You're so irritating." he stated, not daring to look at you. He knew that if he did he wouldn't be able to keep up this act and God knows what he'd do.

"Come on Ryuu. I know you don't actually hate me. You're just mad about Dazai liking me better"

Akutagawa's body tensed upon hearing your words. "Don't call me that."

"What, Ryuu? Why not?" you asked innocently.

"Because you know I can't stand it." he lied. He did in fact love the way his name rolled off your lips; it was so soothing but he couldn't bring himself to admit it. "And don't drag Dazai into this."

You let out a low chuckle "But he is part of this. He's actually the reason for all this. For us and-"

"There's no such thing as us" he spat, nails digging deep into the calloused skin of his palms.

He could feel you scoot closer to him, one of your hands gently brushing a strand of charcoal hair from his face.

"Isn't it?"

Your words lingered between the two of you, a heavy, unspoken truth. There was no you but both of you somehow wished there was. Despite all the resentment he bore towards you, Akutagawa knew there was something more to his feelings. He couldn't exactly pin-point what it was tho, but it seemed that you shared the same thought.

"What are we?" you asked eventually, fingertips sliding along his jawline as you moved even closer to him.

Your touch sent goosebumps all over his body, igniting his skin. Yet he didn't push you away. Instead, he turned to his side to face you.

"What do you think we are? We're rivals for fuck's sake" he stated and you would've believed him if it weren't for his arm which wrapped around your waist.

"Are enemies usually so desperate for each other?" you chuckled, cupping his face.

"I'm not desperate" he hummed as he began caressing the side of your body. His fingers traced the outline of your body over your robe, languidly sliding back and forth from your hip up your waist and along your ribs; causing you to shudder.

"You sure are desperate tho" he said, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips. His slender fingers hooked under the loosely tied knot of your robe, undoing it.

A light hum escaped your lips when he touched your bare skin.

"Hey Ryuu." you purred, threading your fingers through his hair "Do you think things would've been different if we weren't in different organizations?"

"Not at all. I'd still hate you" he said plainly. Akutagawa was completely entranced by you; his mouth voiced of abhorrence but his hands spoke another language, gently cupping one of your breasts as he kneaded your soft flesh.

He pulled you closer until your lips were mere mere inches apart. "You don't think you could ever like me, do you? It would be so ridiculous."

"Really?" With a mischevious smirk on your lips you took his hand from your breast and guided it between your legs; Akutagawa gasped as his fingers brushed against your wet panties. "I think I like you already."

"You little..." he cursed under his breath as he closed the distance between you, lips finding your own. He kissed you deeply, feverishly and pushed you onto your back, climbing on top of you.

When he eventually broke the kiss he looked down at you, trying to ignore his forming bulge that pressed against your thigh.

You only giggled, tracing your thumb over his lower lip. "How about you put that mouth of yours to good use, hm?" you teased but Akutagawa noted the hint of urgency in your voice.

With a sly smirk on his face he slowly moved lower onto you, tracing feathery kisses along your heated skin until the nestled himself between your thighs. Each touch elicited sweet sounds from you which echoed through his entire being.

Before he hooked his arms over your thighs to keep you close your gazes met for s brief moment and he nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"As you wish, pretty girl"

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd smut #bungo stray dogs akutagawa #bsd akutagawa #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa smut #akutagawa fluff #akutagawa x you #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd atsushi #atsushi nakajima

[martybaker]

Only Fools Rush In

So the setup for this is that Hob and Dream are professors in their forties at the same university, they’re friends who are very much pining for each other. They’re not oblivious, just taking things slow. Unfortunately, some meddling students and staff didn’t get the memo 😅

There will be more parts to this fic - as the word count kept running away from me I just decided to split it up and post the parts separately, however, I cannot promise when the next part will be completed.

——

Part 1

“Seriously? Where are your gloves? Hat? Scarf? Literally anything to keep you warm??”

Dream scoffs at getting scolded upon sight, taking the few more steps necessary to join Hob at the entrance to the outdoor ice skating rink.

“I’m warm enough,” he argues, earning a disbelieving look from Hob, who takes off his own gloves and grabs Dream’s hand, finding it cold, as expected. Dream snatches his hand away with a petulant pout.

Hob laughs at him. “You’re freezing! And you’re ridiculous! Having a fashion style to uphold is all fine and dandy, but dressed like this you’re just asking to catch a cold!”

“I thought I was here to try ice-skating, not to get a lecture on the way I dress,” Dream grumbles. “Besides, won’t I warm up by the activity? All this fuss is unnecessary.”

He makes for the door of the building where ice skates can be rented, with a ‘the sooner to get this over with, the better’ attitude.

Hob follows, raising an eyebrow at him: “Oh, Mr. Confident thinks he’ll be skating circles around me in no time? We’ll see how you’ll feel about the lack of gloves and padded clothing when you’ll end up on your arse, time and time again!”

Dream rolls his eyes. “I’m sure that was your exact intention when picking this activity, making a fool of me, all for your amusement.”

“Hey, I won the bet fair and square! Didn’t you have a blast when you won the last one, making me shave my stubble clean and draw a fake beard on? The students weren’t able to look at me in class without bursting into laughter!”

Dream cannot help but grin at the memory. “You were able to captivate them with the material nonetheless.”

“Yeah, but I had to work twice as hard to shift their attention away from the beard!”

—

They keep bickering as they rent a pair of skates each, finding a spot on the bench to change into them. Hob demonstrates how to properly tie the skates.

After Dream’s finished, he checks Dream’s work, grabbing onto the skates and testing the wiggle room.

“It needs to be tighter. Tied loosely and your ankles would move about, unsupported. You could get hurt.”

Dream nods, listening carefully. Hob is the expert here, or at least the one with lots of experience to draw from.

“Here, let me help you,” Hob slips from the bench down to his knees, Dream’s foot held in between them, and reties his laces, pulling them tight. Dream blinks rapidly, surprised by the action.

“There, that’s better,” Hob says, looking up and laughing at whatever expression it is that he finds on Dream’s face. “What? No one has ever tied your shoes for you before?”

Dream huffs. “Of course not,” he says, cheeks a little rosier than before, and lowers his gaze down, as if to inspect Hob’s work.

Luckily, Hob doesn’t tease more, he slowly stands up and then offers Dream an inviting hand. “Ready to rock and roll?”

Dream sighs. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” and takes Hob’s hand.

—

The ice rink isn’t too crowded, which is good. Firstly because they have room to move slowly on the ice, with Hob skating backwards and helping Dream learn the ropes without the danger of being run over by someone. And secondly, it means there are less witnesses to Dream’s mortifying struggles.

“Why, again, is this considered fun?” He grumbles, letting Hob pull him forward slowly, feeling extremely embarrassed as he can’t figure out how to move forward on his own without turning it into awkward stumbling rather than skating.

Hob laughs, squeezing Dream’s hands tighter.

“It is fun, it just takes some time to get into it. You’ve gotta lean forward a little, you’re too stiff and upright,” he advises.

Hob explains and demonstrates the right motions to him, over and over with great patience. Dream tries his best to follow the advice, and after a while, it does get better. Hob praises him and asks if he wants to try on his own for a bit, but Dream gives him an anxious look.

“Hmm, maybe you could try with the skating aid?” Hob suggests.

Dream grimaces. “Over my dead body,” he says, prompting Hob to burst into laughter again.

“Okay, got it. No skating aid for grown-up Dream. How about you skate near the boards and I'll be on your other side, so you could have something to grab on when you feel unstable?”

Dream nods.

Hob moves into position on his left side. Dream skates forward a few feet, wobbles and immediately grabs onto Hob’s arm with both hands, holding on for dear life.

Hob chuckles. “That’s alright, you’re doing great! Mistakes and falls are an inevitable part of the learning process!”

Dream glares at him. “Thanks for the tip, professor Gadling.”

Hob grins. “I’m no professor here, just an ice-skating teacher.”

“Whatever. Hold my hand,” Dream commands, and Hob happily obliges.

They do a few rounds like that, and it’s…actually not bad. Dream is getting used to the mechanics of the movement and he’s not that anxious with a steady support by his side.

He tries speeding up, and it works. He maybe even starts to feel a little bit of that excitement that attracts people to practice this activity regularly.

“You’re doing amazing!” Hob says, and Dream cannot help but preen.

He raises an eyebrow at Hob: “What were you saying earlier, about me landing on my arse again and again?”

Hob laughs. “Clearly, you have a good teacher!”

Dream snorts. “Clearly, I am a good student.”

“That you are,” Hob says with a smile, and pulls Dream to skate faster.

And faster.

And Dream stumbles on uneven ice, falling backwards and taking Hob with him.

They both land on their arses.

Hob, of course, reacts to this with laughter. Dream really doesn’t know where that man takes all that optimism from.

“Sorry, my bad, I went too fast!”

“Yes, you do that,” Dream mutters under his nose.

“Pardon?” Hob asks, brows furrowed as he picks himself up from the ice and holds out a hand for Dream.

Dream looks at the outstretched hand but doesn’t take it. “You’ll have to have patience with me, Hob. I don’t have the guts for barrelling into things headfirst anymore.”

“It’s generally recommended to avoid barrelling into anything while you’re ice skating,” Hob jokes. Dream gives him a look and this time Hob does catch on that Dream’s not talking about ice-skating anymore.

His gaze softens. “You can take all the time you need, Dream, I’m not in a rush.”

He plops down onto the ice next to Dream, back against the boards. “Wanna just chill here for a while?”

Dream gives him an unimpressed look. “We can’t sit here, we’re in people’s way.”

“Eh, they’ll make do for a minute.”

Dream shakes his head and pulls them both up to stand again. “I should get back on the horse, shouldn’t I?”

Hob grins. “I think that’s a different sport, love.”

Dream rolls his eyes. “It’s called an idiom, you twit.”

Dream dusts off his gloved hands and picks up the hat that he was wearing. Hob actually forced his own gloves and hat on him before they started and Dream has to admit to himself that he’s glad for them now. Of course, he’s not about to voice that and give Hob the satisfaction. The pompom on top of the hat is silly, but it does keep Dream’s ears warm, so he’s willing to commit this small fashion crime in the name of comfort.

To top it all off, Hob’s knitted Doctor Who scarf is now also in Dream’s possession. He has no objections to that one, though it does look better on Hob.

He would feel guilty for leaving Hob to freeze but the man’s actually wearing a big puffer jacket, zipped up to his chin. And his cheeks are endearingly rosy when he smiles at Dream, which is also, uhm, something.

“Shall we?” Hob asks, and Dream reaches for his hand again. This time, Hob doesn’t pull, but matches Dream’s own tempo.

#dreamling #dream x hob #hob x dream #the sandman #sandman #my writing #dreamling fic #sandman fic #I would tag this as conscious slowborn #as in they both have feelings and are aware the other one os on the same page #but they decide to take it slow #unfortunately meddling coworkers and students are there to create chaos #more in next part

[thenotsoholyspirit]

Holding pt 2

(Here for pt 1)

Matt Murdock x reader (angst)

Note: I never expected to do a part 2 for this, but I got inspired re-watching the third season. I hope you guys enjoy it ❤️. Also, a bit of a trigger warning for the mention of the death of a pet.

Summary: What if Matt came back after all that happened, what if things could change.

♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡

"It was a building, an old abandoned storage. It was a horrible incident indeed. Authorities have yet declared the reasons for its collapse, but apparently, some criminal group is-"

Will the tv anchors let go of that new? It's been more than a month

I sigh as I start to bite the head of the pen in my hand, turning the tv off. I look now directly at the blank screen, only being able to see my own reflection. I look exhausted.

I am exhausted.

It's been weeks since Matt Murdock has been declared dead, more than weeks since I've myself collapsed into some sort of numbness.

It was almost months since I last saw him, yet..

You could've prevented this

I shake my head, trying to get the thought out.

The darkness in the room seems almost too engulfing now. My four walls feeling closer and closer now. I close my eyes

You can not take responsibility for everybody..

I remember my mom telling me this the day my first pet died. It was an accident, the poor bird escaping his cage and getting electrocuted by some some disjointed wires from the utility pole.

Not everything is under your control

I remember his little body dead on the asphalt eyes wide open, looking like he could wake up at any time and take his flight..

Suddenly the noise of the keys opening my door make me stand up. I quickly go grab the old baseball bat hidden under the couch and I go stand besides de doorframe.

Breath

When the person enters I immediately go for a hit, only to be surprised as what appears to be a man easily stops it mid-air making me loose my balance and stumble.

"What th-"

Suddenly he grabs me by my waist preventing me from falling on the floor. Its so dark I can barely perceive his face, yet his voice makes my heart suddenly drop.

"Please..this time I can explain (y/n)"

I immediately pull away from his arms as I go quickly grab my bat again and turn on the lights. I feel my hands weaken their grip as I now recognize the man in front of me. It was Matt. it was actually Matt.

Its you

But I keep my defensive position. Its impossible. This cannot be.

"Who the f- are you". I spat, trying not to let my vulnerability take over.

The supposed Matt stays in place, as I can see him twitching a small smile. He retakes his serious tone

"I know.. I know how this must appear from your side but you must believe me.."

I look at his eyes. Those puppy eyes he used to make when I caught him in trouble. For such a strong man he could be quite sensitive indeed. But I cannot forget neither.

"Even if..if this was true..how..how do you want me to trust you..after all that happened"

He looks down, shame now filling his face. He must have remembered the last time we saw each other. Not the best goodbye indeed. He bites his lip

"I know..I.. I didn't come for forgiveness just..I thought...", He turns his head around, probably scanning the room, "That you deserved to know the truth before you heard it from someone else.."

In the depths of myself, I know all I wish to do is to jump to his arms. It was him. He was alive.

"What exactly happened?"

My voice wasn't as cold as before but I still hold an strict tone, wanting to keep my distance.

He nods his head as he takes a long breath.

"You really want to hear the whole story ?"

"Ive got all night"

So thats how for the next hour he tells me what he seems to know about this Hand. The war. Stick and even the two deaths of his ex. It was a lot I admit, but I still listened with attention to each of his words. We both end up sitting face to face on the floor

"So that's how I ended up here", he finally says raising his shoulders.

I could notice something in his tone. Something more lonely that what used to be in there before. Something more bitter too, but I decide not to comment on that.

"So neither Karen or even Foggy know that you're alive and well ?"

He groans a bit. Probably a touchy subject.

"I'd rather leave it like that... they're safer that way"

I sigh. Some things never truly change

"Then why are you here Matt?"

"I told you.. I-"

"Bullshit"

My raise in tone paralyzes the conversation for a moment. Matt seems surprised and stays silent waiting for me to continue

"Sorry..just", I try my best to hold my emotions, "Last time you were in here..you..you left me Matt..you left me..."

"(Y/n).. sweetheart..I'm"

"Don't you dare call me sweetheart Matthew.." Im now standing up giving my most glaring stare at the man in front of me. "Don't you dare use that word"

Not everything is under my control

"I.." , I look at him again, " I had to mourn you twice..twice.."

Now tears are falling from my eyes. I know he can sense them but I don't want him to comfort me. I have to be strong

"I loved you with all my heart"

These last words are merely a mumble.

The noise of the outside is louder, the cars, the streets, the people. The city being so alive. All of what Matt can hear and perceive, his life. His real life. Not here with me, but outside.

He seems unsure what to say next.

"I never wanted to lose you", I've never heard his voice being this fragile "I just wanted to protect you from all the danger I brought upon you.. I don't want to make excuses just.. I got lost in the way"

He tries to come closer to me, putting his hand on my cheek cleaning my tear

"I'll try to make it up... even if it takes me a whole eternity to do so"

I look at him. Will I be able to ever forgive it all ?

I softly take his hand from my face. Holding it with such strength, like if he was about to vanish again. We stay in this silence for a while. It was a lot of feelings for just one night.

But time is still moving as I look at my kitchen's clock.

"Its getting late, I'd guess you have to go"

He nods letting a sad smile slip.

"Yes I guess so"..

He walks to the door, putting his dark glasses and cap on. He gives me a long stare before going. I wonder what he may be thinking

"Goodbye (y/n)"

"Goodbye Matt"

I see him disappear down the hall.

As I get back in, I think again of my souvenir of the poor bird laying on the ground. Maybe I couldn't bring him back to life, but what if he was given a second chance.

I stare at the door.

Maybe things could have ended differently in that case.

#matt murdock x reader #netflix daredevil #matt murdock x reader angst #daredevil x reader angst #daredevil x reader #marvel x reader

[ysljoon]

Whumptober Day 4-John Price

✲Prompt: "You in there?"

✲Warnings: angst, little bit of military talk, feelings of self-doubt/incapability

✲a/n: yall get pretty much back to back whump drabbles since i posted day 3 super late so i hope you enjoy!

✲MINORS DNI (have your age in your bio or you're getting blocked)

You fled to your room with such urgency as soon as the heli touched down on the landing pad. You couldn’t stand the embarrassment anymore. You had just come back from an op with the rest of Task Force 141. You were a sniper that was most recently brought onto the team so you definitely felt like you needed to prove yourself. Needless to say, you got too gung-ho about your capabilities and missed a shot before the order was even given a direct order to let off the shot. You acted without thinking as soon as you saw the target in your sight, but you gasped as soon as you saw the target look directly into your scope and it made you miss your shot. 

All chaos had broken loose and the entire task force had gotten ambushed and had gotten more injured than what was expected for the mission. Worst of all it took months to even get a lead for the target and lord knows how long it's going to take for anyone to find a lead now especially since the target and his mob were now aware the task force knew about their operations. 

Ghost gave you a new asshole with how hard he tore into your mistake and immediately requested for Price to take you off the team. It was so hard to hold your tears back the entire helicopter ride back. You felt everyone's sorry stares on you and it made you want to just crawl into a hole and bury yourself away from this situation.

Now you’re hiding in your room and solemnly start to pack the very few belongings you do have into a duffel bag. The saddest part about this is it finally felt like you were part of a team that could become family. Soap, Gaz, and Price welcomed you warmly and made you feel like you belonged. Now you had thrown everything out the window due to a missed shot. Who knew everything could turn so fast due to a mistake? You know how much is put on the line due to this line of work, but you never knew it was going to be you that would compromise an operation. Especially to this extent.

As you zipped up the duffel bag you heard a knock on your door. Everything froze at once. You deliberated hiding under your sheets and pretending to not even hear it, but another knock came rattling against the door of your quarters. “Kid, you in there? It’s Price, open up!” You straightened yourself and quickly tried to fix your disheveled state.” Once opening the door you saw the soft smile on Price’s face but it looked somber. This felt like a goodbye before it even started so you felt the need to rip off the bandage from now to ease some of the pain.

“Sir I know what I did compromised the mission and the entire task force. What I have done cannot be taken back and I have packed all my bags and will leave the second you tell me my departure date and time.” You gazed down at your feet as you babbled to Price. He placed a hand on your shoulder and this stopped your spiel. You looked up into his eyes trying to figure out what he was thinking as his facial expression was hard to read. 

“Kid, listen I’m not kicking you off the team. Despite how Ghost acts, I’m the one who calls all the shots here. You will be put on probation for the next three months and will have your skills assessed at the end of each month. We all make mistakes, but I don’t want you to think that you aren’t good enough for this team. I hand-selected you and I only pick the best. Just get some rest and we will reconvene tomorrow.” You nodded dumbly and he wished you a final farewell with a hug. You slid down the door trying to sort out all the emotions you were feeling, but your heart rate had started to pick up and distract you. Why do I feel this way just from a hug from Price?

Oh. Oh!

#whumptober 2023 #john price x reader #john price x you #john price #captain john price x reader #captain john price x you #captain john price #john price cod #price mw2 #cod mw2

[copias-juicebox]

It's a Sin Chapter 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 Part 4

So this is my small story. I have no idea what i want to do with it but some of you kindly showed some interest in reading this. Special thanks to @thatoddgirl1035 and @unrealistici. So please leave me some comments how you liked it or what i could improve. Feel free to contact me to talk about the plot as well since i have no idea where i wanna go exactly. INSPIRE ME PLEASE. lol

So the Main Idea behind this fic is that reader is the child of the local priest of a christian church. And reader has been raised the old catholic cristian way of course with all it's flaws.

This part is sort of just to set the scene and stage. Reader is still a child here and meets a young copia who at this point is still a Bishop. He is of course quite a bit older here than her so expect an age gap for later chapters as well. Reader will be in their mid 20ies in the fic and copia will be in his 50ies.

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x fem! Reader Words: 3000 something Genre: romance, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, SLOWBURN Warnings:runaway girl on the loose, explicit languge, violence, abuse, age gap, smut (in the upcoming chapters blabla)

It was a summer night. What started as a beautiful summer day ended up in a cold and wet storm. The heavy rain and thunder that haunted the small town you called your home was rumbling loud and you just ran. You ran as fast and far as you could. Your town was surrounded by mountains and woods. It was a rather small town, one where you rarely ever saw strange faces around the place. You kept running, barefoot in your nightdress. There was no destination you were going and you just let your feet carry you to wherever they liked.

You felt lost. Utterly lost. At this point you could no longer tell if your face was wet because of the rain or your own salty tears. Everything was a blurry mess. You lost every orientation you had. You felt numb, and deaf running, just running until you could no longer. Not even feeling your feet that must have been aching by now. You just did not feel a thing anymore.

It could have been minutes or hours since you‘ve ran from your parents house. You lost every sense of time by now. Only when your lungs burned did you stop. You stood in the middle of the woods by now. Every feeling of guilt, shame and sadness came like a tidal wave, crashing down on you at once. The feelings you tried to suppress for so long now were overwhelming you and all you wanted was to be swallowed by the wet ground you now broke down on. Your silent sobs became louder but there was no one to hear you. Not with the heavy thunderstorm washing down every vibration from the air surrounding you. You curled up on the ground, hugging yourself as you cried out.

From between the branches of the thick treeline a dark figure stared in your direction and found your crumpled form laying on the ground.

„Hello there little one. Are you okay? Are you hurt?“ a soft, deep voice startled you out of your daze. „Oh I am sorry darling, I did not mean to scare you.“ the voice chuckled. You turned around and came to see a man with a strange face kneeling beside you. Your eyes widened and you rubbed your eyes since his face was all blurry.

He had dark circles around his eyes, hair on the sides of his face and a mustache above his lips. It should have scared you but he had a calming aura that put you at ease and you just stared at him with your bloodshot eyes. The stranger smiled softly at you encouraging you to speak. „I.. I am okay.“ you hiccuped, voice small. „Then why are you lying outside in the cold, little one? I don‘t know if you have noticed but it is raining and thundering here and you will catch a cold if you stay here like that, eh?“ the man had said. You stared at the man with big eyes, not knowing what to do so you just stayed still. „Come on now get up. You cannot stay here like that.“ With these words the man extended his hands to you to help you lift you off the ground.

He saw your hesitation and smiled down softly. „I won‘t bite, little one. I swear on the dark one.“ This strange man must be one of the evil people your mother had warned you about. He spoke of the dark one. One of the reasons why you were never allowed near the woods. Because the evil people resided there. In your head many thoughts whirled around. All the bad stories you had heard about these people, doing bad deeds, sinning, sacrificing animals and even humans. It all scared you but yet the man in front of you seemed harmless, offering help even. In fact he was treating you with a kindness you longed for all your life. Against your better judgement you took his hand and let him pull you out of the puddle you sat in. Only then did you realize how bad your feet hurt and how cold it actually was.

„Oh my you are freezing little one. Come on and let me bring you to our ministry. You can have a hot cocoa there. Only if you‘d like that of course yeah? I always find myself feeling much better after a good cup of hot cocoa.“ he said taking off his cloak that he put around your shoulders, wrapping you up in it to keep you from shivering all the time.

He lead you through a smaller passage between the trees and you walked next to the man holding his hand when his voice rang one more time in your ears. „Now would you tell me your name little one?“ It only fueled your internal battle more since you knew you had to be careful. Your parents would probably lock you away in your room for months, making you pray to god for forgiveness. For forgiving you any contact to the evil people from the woods. You were still very young but you were not stupid. „No I cannot tell you my name. You are a stranger and my mama always told me not to trust strangers.“ you tried to sound confident.

The man next to you looked down at you and chuckled. „Ah I see. Well that is not even wrong but tell me why are you accompanying that stranger to a strange place, eh?“ At that you looked down to the ground and stopped walking. The man turned to you and knelt down again. He looked at you with sincerity in his eyes. „You see little one I know you have no reason to trust me and there is nothing I could possibly say that would make you believe me. You are right to be suspicious of strangers for many of them have bad intentions. But we. The place we are going and the people there are not of this kind. I will promise you to bring you back to whereever you want to go or leave you alone should you wish for me to leave you alone. I could even call your parents or the police if you want me to but something is telling me it is probably because of them that you ended up here in the first place?“

You stared down at your feet and kicked a stone to the side of the path. He nailed it. Only a few minutes of talking to this man and he already knew the reason of your flight into the woods: Your parents.

„I see there is truth to what I assumed. Now I am going to ask you again do you want to come inside and warm yourself? I won‘t be mad if you don‘t. But I also want you to know that I will be listening to you if you want to talk.“ he smiled down softly at you easing your nerves a little. Whatever your parents had taught you the man in front of you seemed to be calming you in a way you have never experienced before. It was all very strange especially when he only said so little. „Whatever you decide you should probably hurry. It is not getting any warmer is it?“ he said looking up into the dark clouds. By now he was drenched. Just as you. You decided to trust your gut and took his hand in yours.

The two of you walked a few more meters before you saw it. A huge dark place. Circled by a fence. That must be that „ministry“ he talked about earlier. The house was looming over you. It had an intimidating effect on you, with the dark clouds and occasional lightning striking down. It was massive. The building and the grounds were covering a large area right in the middle of the woods.

He lead you inside where you were met with an odd looking figure. He wore a mask and opened the door for you. When the masked man saw you he looked at you curiously, tilting his head to the side. „Off you go Swiss. Do not scare our little guest now will ya. Oh and start the fire in my office will you?“ the man holding your hand shooed off the masked one. „I apologize for them. They tend to be a little rude sometimes. They are just not good with human interactions. Now let us go to my office. You need to dry and get your cocoa." He said leading you down the hallway, to where the masked one hurried off to.

He turned a few corridors and opened a big door to a big office space. Stepping inside you saw the man from earlier rise to his feet from the fireplace and staring at you once more. You just stared back at him. He was so odd behaving. „Thank you Swiss now please can you ask Sister Helena to bring us two cups of hot cocoa?“ The masked man nodded and left.

„Okiedokie little one you need to warm up now. Here take the blanket and hand me back the robe. You might want to sit closer to the fire, yes?“ he said with his thick italian accent.

When you had yourself wrapped around the blanket and sat in front of the fire for a few seconds you could already feel your cold frozen limbs warming up. You did no longer feel stiff and rigid from the cold. The man draped his drenched coat over a chair and pulled it to the fireplace. Then he opened up his gloves and took them off laying them next to the coat. You noticed the crucifix on them making you realize that indeed these were the bad people you should not talk to. But so far they have treated you with so much kindness you were confused. „Now do you feel better, bella?“ He sat down next to you. You nodded still unsure what to say. „Do not worry, no one here will harm you. You have my word. And after the cocoa you might feel a bit more comfortable talking eh?“ He smiled goofily.

You wondered if you could just ask him the many questions you had in mind. But you feared to speak freely. Your parents never seemed to like when you spoke freely, openly, whenever you had questions. And you had many questions. You were an overly curious child.

His warm smile made you feel secure enough to try though. „What is your name sir?“ A look of surprise flashed over his face. „Oh where were my manners all this time. I did not even tell you who I was. My name is Copia. Bishop Copia. Pleased to meet you, nameless one.“ He bowed down a little making you giggle at his overly silly actions.

It warmed the Bishops heart to see the young girl giggling and smiling genuinely for the first time. She was a cute child not older than 7 or 8 and it made his heart ache knowing that someone must have hurt her deeply for her to run into the forrest under the conditions he found her in. She was in fact lucky that it was him who found her but she did not need to know that. She was safe now and he would make sure she would safely return home as soon as he made sure she felt better.

„Nice to meet you too Copia.“ you answered not bothering with stuff like titles and all. The past few minutes you spent with this strange Copia person you felt increasingly comfortable around him. It made you more confident so you decided to just try to get answers to the thundering questions that formed in your head each time you looked at him.

Playing with your fingers you asked „Can I ask you a question Copia?“ you prompted with a look of uncertainty in a barely hearable manner, slightly scared he would punish you like your parents always do when you ask them.

To your surprise he seemed to encourage you to ask him. „Certo piccolo. Whatever it is you would like to ask please feel free to do so yes? I will answer you honestly.“ „Oh“ you answered a bit surprised „uhm.. are you sure is it not too much?“ you stammered, taken aback by the earnestness in his tone. „Of course little one. It is good to ask questions. You should always question things yes? Proves that you have a brain and are trying to understand the world around you. It only shows you are an intelligent young girl.“ the bishop said in his accent.

„Uh and what if it involves people?“ you asked shyly. „Oh especially if it involves people. You should question their motives and backgrounds. It is a way of self preservation no? To make sure you are not fooled around.“ Just as the Bishop was about to speak once more a knock on the door interrupted you. He got up and opened the door. You heard hushed voices and then the door clicking shut again.

When the Bishop came back to you he placed a cup of heavenly smelling hot cocoa in front of you. „There you go cara.“ He patted the space next to the cup.

He sat back down next to you in front of the hot cracking fire. The hot cup warmed your hands even more and you took a small sip from the cup. The hot liquid ran down your throat and warmed you from the inside. It made you feel utterly exhausted and you felt yourself getting drowsy with each passing second when suddenly Bishops voice rang through the silence of the room once again. „So what did you want to ask about young one?“ You sat up right again hesitating once more to ask your questions.

„Well I was curious. This is a religious place isn‘t it?“ The Bishop raised one eyebrow looking at you. „Yes it is indeed.“ he answered nodding. „But you do not worship god. You worship the devil.“ Once again he nodded but stayed perfectly calm. You expected him to get mad at you to maybe even hurt you or kick you out of this place. Instead he surprised you even more. „I know you probably heard many bad things about this place and us. People usually do not like the devil or those who swore to him. But I can assure you that none of that is true. We are not evil. We do not do evil things in the name of Satan.“ he said nonchalantly, taking another sip of his cocoa as if it was nothing special for him to speak about these things.

„But if you swore to him isn‘t it true that you do the devils work? And the devil is bad everybody knows that. He hurts people and causes suffering and pain.“

Copia chuckled hearing that. „Now now is that what you have experienced? Did anyone in the name of Satan ever hurt you? Caused you suffering and pain? Or did somebody merely tell you these things so that you stay on the ‚right‘ path? Their path?“ He used his fingers exaggerating the word „right“.

That stunned you silent. Indeed no one from the Satanic Church had ever done you any harm. Quite the opposite actually so far they seemed to be ok. But you had merely had one encounter with members of this church now so who were you to judge.

The Bishop cocked his head to the side and looked at you. He was quite fascinated with you. „You are an intelligent little girl I see that. You are asking the right questions now do not let anyone tell you any different. Most people who will tell you that we are doing evil are people who try to control you. Who try to make you their pawn so that you will obey them.“ Copia said with his finger raised. „But my parents always told me to stay away from you people.“ you countered. Copia took a sip from his own cup now. „Ah I see your parents raised you in a christian way and they are very strong believers, yes? Tell me little one do you believe in God?“

You stared at him and answered instantly. „Yes I believe in God and Jesus Christ our lord and saviour.“ The sentence shot out of your mouth before you could even think about it. Years and years of your short life had your parents spent to burn these words into your brain. They were a part of you ever since you could remember. When it came to religion your parents were strict. There was no other way for you than become the good catholic girl that everybody expected you to be.

Copia raised one eybrow at your far to soon answer. „Is that truly your answer or your parents answer from your mouth?“ You gazed at him wide eyed. No one had ever dared to question your devotion to God. „Of course I do. My father is the local priest. How could I not believe in God?“

At that Copia choked his cocoa and set his cup down coughing violently. „Excuse me bella. Did you just say your father is the local priest?“ At that your eyes widened in fear. Only then you realized you just told the devil worshipping man that you were the child of the man that has sworn to fight his church, who has sworn to do anything to wipe them away from this town. Fear consumed you and you froze, your face twisting in horror. „Oh no no no little one do not get scared i will not harm you or your father if that is what you are thinking. It is just you see it makes much more sense now. Your beliefs and your actions and all.“ He said in a calming manner. „You see I have never seen such a young one with such strong beliefs as yourself.“ his face was only a few centimeters from yours now and he winked at you.

A sigh escaped his mouth and he finished the rest of his cup and encouraged you to keep drinking yours. When you did he kept his eyes on you contemplating. You were too young to see but he was watching your every move. He could not help himself but pity you in a way. You must have suffered so much already under the christian church in your short life. The daughter of the local priest. Copia knew you were going to suffer far more under the heavy weight of your parents' church. He wanted to help you but there was not much he could do that would not cause even more damage. Satan, he hoped that once you returned home you would not be punished for talking to him especially. It was getting quite late now and he knew the sooner you were back home the better it would be for you.

„So do you want to return to your family now? I can send a Ghoul to escort you back.“ You stared back at him in horror. „C.. Can you come with me?“ you stammered out. „Well yes of course. Now let us go before it is too late.“

Copia and the Ghoul dropped you off around the corner of the street you lived in. The rest of the way you would have to walk alone you both decided so she would not get into extra trouble at the door. Copia watched from a safe distance as the door opened and your father grabbed your arm rather harshly and pulled you inside and the last thing he saw was your father banging the door shut.

#god i am so shy posting this #cardinal copia #cardinal copia x reader #ghost band #ghost #papa emeritus #myedit #tobias forge #ghesties #papa emeritus iv #copia #ghost sweden #ghost fic #mywriting #papa emeritus fic #copia x reader #my fic #it’s a sin

[skellymom]

"Slide"

Bad Batch x Non-Gendered Character - ONE SHOT

This is my FIRST fan fic. Working on a much longer series fic with an OC that will drop...when it’s done. Criticism is welcome AS LONG AS IT’S KIND AND CONSTRUCTIVE. PLEASE feel free to contact me! I really want to hear feedback. Also, open to questions. All my work will be 18+ just because of my nasty mouth, nasty mind, and inappropriate dark humor. REMINDER: Please REBLOG if you like what you read! Thanks!!!  

Summary: Action, Jedi learns to grow Force powers. This timeline is several months after leaving Crosshair on Kamino, near the end of working for Cid. The Batch is trying to figure a hook to be independent and possibly start actively rebelling against the Empire. This is set well before Mt Tantiss. 

Content and Warnings: Canon and non-canon violence, swearing, momentary and possibly gruesome death of main characters (no worries, they don’t stay dead forever), Crosshair is an angry psychopathic killer with a vengeance (no hate, I love his problematic ass), mild Hunter fluff, touchy concerned Tech, Echo swears. 

Word count:  2.1 K

**********************************************************************

You hadn’t expected to be separated from the rest of the Batch, however, Omega had other ideas “to help” on this mission. The Batch infiltrated this Imperial base for intel and possible chain codes to steal. You volunteered to run after and bring her back.  Spotted by Imperial stormtroopers in a corridor, you and Omega try to lose them, but they are hot on your tail. Omega hears the Batch’s voices down a hallway and runs to them. 

You and Omega skid to a halt at the edge of a missing bridge while the rest of the Batchers are on the other side.  The precipice between is a several hundred story drop within the Imperial base. The group of stormtroopers rocked up behind you, guns lowered.  Hunter, Tech, and Wrecker looked on impotently across the chasm, weapons trained on the stormtroopers.  The Batch are poised, holding fire, trying to avoid any possibility of you and Omega getting caught in any crossfire. 

Unfortunately, you had not finished training with your Master. Your Master did not survive Order 66. You were SO CLOSE to obtaining Jedi status.  Now it was up to YOU to save yourself and Omega.  Being captured was not an option at this point.  Although, allowing the Empire to take you and Omega might allow time for the Batch to retreat safely to fight later.  That carried serious risks.  You were very limited in options as far as your Force abilities.  Master had not given you a light saber, remarking that the Force had a different path for you. 

The lead stormtrooper immediately grabbed you as a human shield, just as Wrecker let loose a shot from his blaster.  He intended to shoot the stormtrooper but hit you in the chest.  You slipped out of the stormtroopers grasp and off the edge of the bridge. You met Omega’s eyes as she called your name, while being dragged away by the same trooper.  As your body went into free fall down the chasm, you could hear your Batchmates scream, curse, and start blasting away.  

As consciousness slips from your body, you close your eyes.  The sense of falling disappears, but you expected that by eventually reaching terminal velocity from this height.  You open your eyes and are standing on an outstretched infinite path within an ever-expanding universe.  Before you is a HUGE hulking creature with glowing eyes. 

“What’s happening?  Where am I?”  You are simultaneously shocked, afraid, and unsure if this is all a dream. 

The creature stares down, sizing you up. 

“ In The World Between Worlds.” 

“Am I dead???” 

“No. It is not yet your time.  You are here to finish your training.” 

“My friends need my help!  I need to get back to them!!!” 

“You will return to help them; it is part of your training.” 

“Who are you?” 

“That matters not.  Only your path is of importance.  You cannot progress until your training is finished.  The lives within your care hang in the balance.  You and your group are linked together in that realm.  Your failure will be their failure...until you succeed.  Then you will be released from this realm to continue your path.” 

It feels like the creature is staring into your soul, “The point of entry is behind you.” 

You turn around to see...a doorway?  A dark threshold surrounded by cryptic symbols, suspended among stars.  

“Are you ready?” 

“No! I...” 

“Begin!” 

Your vision becomes a blur as you leave that place and return to where you were standing before falling off the platform.  The vertigo messes with your senses, and it all feels like you had a momentary hallucination.  Now back in this moment, you quickly spring into action. 

You yell “NO WRECKER” immediately and Wrecker stops in his tracks.  Hunter is sensing something, but unsure what it is.  The Stormtrooper grabs you as a shield.  A second trooper grabs Omega and drags her away.  Omega starts using swears that only Echo could come up with as she is taken.  The Batch stand with blasters trained on the stormtroopers in defense but not wanting to hit you in the crossfire.  The trooper violently puts a foot in your ass and kicks you off the platform, then commences to start firing on the Batch.  You free fall down the chasm and... 

...pass The World Between Worlds for a split second, and then appear back onto the platform.   

You try again. 

Omega is led away swearing up a storm while the stormtrooper is holding onto you.  Hunter calls to you, and in that moment, you sense the concern and love in his heart.  You also sense a dark presence in the Force, look up to the platform above and see Crosshair with his Firepuncher trained on you.  He was watching this exchange the whole time, waiting for the opportunity to shoot.  In his jealousy and anger, he fires, hitting you dead center between the eyes.  The very last thing you see is Cross grinning as he hears Hunter lose his shit. 

The fabric of the connected realms brushes past you. 

Again. 

You yank the stormtrooper into Crosshairs blaster bolt as his body is hit, he stumbles into Omega and both fall off the platform to their impending deaths.  The stormtrooper behind him, seeing the target they were looking to take is now gone, opens fire on you.  You fall off the platform. 

Again. 

Before the trooper can grab you, you grab Omega and jump off the platform into the chasm.  With any luck, you can use the force to stop yourselves before hitting bottom.  Unfortunately, you and Omega’s fall velocity was too much for your Force abilities.   

Again. 

You grab Omega but try to save only her.  As you fall past hundreds of platforms, you try to yeet her onto one as you fall.  You are falling too fast, and your throw was severely off.  You hear a sickening thud as she hits something. 

Again. 

You attempt to Force jump, and only make it just short of the other side.  You yeet Omega across the chasm towards the Batch, Hunter jumps for her from the other side, and she slips from his grasp.  You hear them both scream above you as you fall.  Fortunately, Tech and Wrecker send out their grappling cables and catch both.  Blaster fire starts from the stormtroopers.  Tech is hit, falls off the platform, and takes Omega with him since she is attached to his cable.   

Again. 

You Force jump again, Hunter jumps but misses Omega.  Knowing Wrecker will catch Hunter with his grappling hook, you send out a Force block in front of Tech. He is shielded from blaster fire, but Wrecker is hit by several bolts.  He falls off the platform taking Hunter with him.  You hear Wrecker's insanely terrified scream as you all fall.  Hunter sends out his grappling cable and it catches.  His fall is stopped, but Wrecker’s weight wrenches Hunters body horribly.  He screams out in agony as he feels muscles tear.  They are hanging and safe momentarily...or so it seems.  A shot is heard from Firepuncher and Hunters cable is severed.  Both Batchers scream as they fall. 

You try to hold onto the edges of the realm as you pass through, but it evades your grasp. 

Again. 

You grab the lead stormtroopers gun while he is still holding onto it and keep pushing his finger onto the trigger, you shoot him and several other imps.  You fire several shots towards Crosshair, preventing him from shooting at you.  However, one hotshot trooper in the back squeezes off and hits you right in the back fatally.  

Again.   

Same scenario, but you spin the trooper around and use him as a human shield and the hotshot misses you.  However, Crosshair blasts you at the base of your skull.  The last thing you see is Omega’s terrified expression as you fall onto the platform next to your teeth his shot loosened in the blast. 

AGAIN?

You are getting sick of playing this fucked up reset game already.  In your anger, you quickly grab the stormtrooper and throw his ass off the platform.  The Batch and Omega watch shocked at your anger.  The other stormtroopers are taken by surprise, as you advance on them and grab another.  Crosshair is attempting to aim, but you are moving too much. The hotshot trooper aims his weapon. You and the trooper in your grasp struggle violently. The hotshot cannot get a good clear shot.  Finally, he squeezes one off and misses you. However, he didn’t consider where Omega is standing, and she takes a direct hit. You hear your Batchmates scream in outrage. You scream in outrage. The hotshot screams in frustration, then double taps you and the trooper in your grasp in the head simultaneously. 

AGAIN??

You grab the stormtroopers gun while still in his hand and shoot yourself in the head.  You just want this exhausting mess to be over. 

AGAIN???

You fall onto the platform in a crumpled pile crying.  Stormtroopers AND Crosshair shoot you at the same time, resulting in a horrible, charred mess. 

AGAIN???

You scream bloody murder and obscenities at Crosshair.  He shoots you between the eyes. 

AGAIN! 

You jump off the edge of the platform screaming obscenities like a crazy person. 

Before reset, you see the expression on the creatures face.  He looks disappointed and replies, “You aren’t even trying.  Reach out beyond the boundaries of your realm” As you angrily try to spout off to him, you are thrown violently into the next reset. 

AGAIN!!!

Standing on the platform, you take a deep breath and survey the scene.  You mull over the creatures words.  Time seems to slow down: You sense the stormtroopers behind you, looking into each of eyes of the Batch; Hunter, Tech, Wrecker, up to Crosshair, finally resting on Omega.  You mouth, “Trust me” to her and she nods. 

Time suddenly slams into overdrive, and you instantly pivot to bearhug Omega.  The trooper misses your shoulder and grabs open air.  The shot from Crosshair’s Firepuncher, originally meant for you, hits the trooper right between the eyes and he falls off the platform.  You reach deep within the Force, grab the thin tether of this realm and open it wide.  You then realize you were only meant to grasp it at the start of your actions, not at the end.  You “push” through with the Force, taking Omega with you.  As you “slide” from one location to another, you pass the creature.  He nods as you pass from the world you left only a millisecond ago, through the timeless World Between Worlds. 

“Congratulations, Jedi!  Your training is complete.” 

You part the curtain to your world again, entering behind the Batch.  Hunter, before his eyes even register your disappearance on the opposite platform, senses a presence behind them.  His head whips around to see you and Omega are now out of harm's way.  His jaw drops inside his helmet.  Tech, seeing Hunters reaction, immediately spins around, his eyes are visibly dumbfounded “What?  How?”  Wrecker calmly looks behind him, seeing you and Omega there safely, doesn’t question.  He barks, “MUAHAHAHA!  YEAH!!!” and opens fire on all the befuddled stormtroopers standing on the opposite platform.   

With Wreckers cover fire, Hunter grabs Omega and runs down the hallway while yelling, “Let’s go!”  Tech runs past and grabs your hand.  He’s usually not touchy feely, but somewhere deep in his logical brain he understands that whatever happened saved your and Omega’s life.  All the quick calculations he was running in his brain logically ended in you both dying.  Wrecker is happily hopped up on blaster fire and the relief you are both safe.  He follows running behind. 

Crosshair is left on his sniper's roost.  He hasn’t EVER missed a target.  This was his first time. You were there one second and gone next to his surprise.  Stares down at all the dead troopers laying on the platform below, gnawing hard on his toothpick.  He’s angry...but intrigued.  Maybe instead of killing you outright next time, he can land a stunning blow.  The Empire might be VERY interested if he brought you in alive.  Cross sprints away down a shortcut. 

Your group reaches the end of the hallway and bursts out into the ship hangar bay.  A large battalion of stormtroopers meet you there, with guns aimed.  You all stop, out of breath, and possibly out of luck.  Echo swoops in with the Marauder hovering and laying down suppressive cannon fire.  Unfortunately, there are too many imps for him to dispatch while also landing successfully.  Hunter and Tech are furiously looking for a way out.   

You reach out with the Force and envelope Hunter, Tech, Wrecker, and Omega.  Before opening the fabric of this realm, you feel eyes on you.  Looking to a ledge several stories up, Crosshair meets your gaze.  You both stare intensely into each other.  Without even realizing it, you reach out and speak with the Force: 

“Why???” 

“Because...” Slight shock registering on Crosshair’s face “...I can.” 

“You’ll regret this someday...when you’re all alone.” 

“I already am.”  He’s angry and hurt.  There is nothing more you can say. 

You slide through, taking all the Batchers with you and suddenly appearing within the Marauder.   

Wrecker: “WHOA!” 

Tech: Speechless, wide eyed...and STILL holding your hand. 

Omega: Dizzy and winded. 

Hunter: Rips helmet off his head. His expression is wild eyed and looks like he saw some serious shit.  "What was that place? Who was that creature?” 

Echo:  Spins around in the pilot’s chair, eyes wide “WHAT THE FUCK!!!” 

You grin.  And watch the Batch trying to piece together their sudden location movement and glimpse of the creature between worlds. 

Giving the order to Echo you bark, “Let’s go, soldier!” 

He’s still sitting there with a shocked expression, then laser blasts pepper the ship, and he regains composure.  Echo flies the Marauder out of the Imperial facility, off the planet, scrambles the ships jump signature, and punches it into hyperspace. 

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Should I pursue certain plot points further and make this MORE than a one shot? What develops with Crosshair? Tech's hand holding awakening? Why was Hunter the only one to actually see the creature? Or whatever else you might want to explore? PLEASE message me or leave a comment! AND, PLEASE REBLOG! Thanks!!!

#the bad batch #star wars #tbb #bad batch #tbb hunter #tbb tech #clone force 99 #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #tbb echo #fanfic #fan fiction #one shot #non gendered character #open gendered main character #star wars fandom #star wars imagine #bad batch one shot #bad batch fan fic #star wars the bad batch #hunter #tech #crosshair #omega #echo #wrecker #skellymom

[neuxue]

hello, fellow liehuo enjoyer here, and I have been making forays into 无限流 lately — I have been sitting on the edge of the qqgk cliff kicking my feet idly for a while, would it be too presumptuous of me to ask you to push me over? (in less flowery language, would you recommend qqgk to a fellow liehuo and 无限流 reader?)

hey! always good to hear from another weapons enthusiast liehuo enjoyer.

And sure, I can certainly try to push you wuxia-style off the qqgk cliff; it's no leap into a fiery abyss of agony but it was a fun read. (as an aside, now that I think about it there is technically a cliff-jump in qqgk, for what that's worth).

Honestly I wouldn't usually think to compare the two, and I probably wouldn't put qqgk on an 'if you enjoyed lhjc, read this next' list because they sit in different spaces in my mind, but there's no reason you can't enjoy both; I certainly did!

The main thing I'd say first, just to set some tonal expectations, is that qqgk feels like a much lighter read, in terms of both prose and content, and it does not have anywhere near the knife levels of liehuo. (though let's be honest that's not actually saying much).

Whether that's a good, bad, or neutral thing is obviously a matter of taste, but I'm going to go out on a limb (like a little bird) here and assume that if you enjoyed liehuo you probably enjoy some heartrending agony angst or pain in a story. To which I will say, qqgk does in fact have some knives; not as many and not as agonising but well-executed and in a way that packs a kind of surprising punch, in part because you're not entirely expecting it (or at least I wasn't, after the first couple arcs). Similarly, there are some moments of genuine beauty and pathos in a way that feels not unlike those little flashes priest sometimes drops in the midst of an otherwise lighthearted scene, though again on a different scale.

Sort of relatedly, another thing I liked about qqgk is that while it starts off feeling like just a light fun read and like a lot of the details are throwaway decoration, I was again surprised by the degree to which the loose ends or 'throwaway' details or character traits that initially seem just there for the aesthetic get tied up or tied into the larger whole in a way that's more satisfying than I anticipated.

But now for the fun part, which was me going 'huh, now I kind of want to make a list of similarities between the two in an if-you-liked-this kind of way'. So! Some things you get in lhjc that you can expect to see in some way in qqgk:

two extremely competent protagonists initially using that competence largely for the purpose of antagonising each other as they are forced under protest but by circumstance to collaborate

blood... drinking? bloodplay? unclear. anyway, that.

Who Gets To Be A Person (to a lesser degree than liehuo, yes, and qqgk leans more into 'tool' than 'weapon' but it's definitely there)

ensemble cast shenanigans (again, qqgk takes a lighter tone here and I cannot in good faith promise you a Gu Yuexi analogue but once again there are some that turn out kind of surprisingly... more than you initially expect)

Wow That Sure Is A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Yikes

character(s) who hide their pain or past (or both) only to have it forcibly revealed by circumstances outside their control in the most visceral way possible

memory shenanigans (which are hit or miss for me, but I liked the way these were done in both cases)

characters fighting over who gets to self-sacrifice for whom, the realisation that your beloved has a death wish, etc.

undead interactions on a boat

character(s) whose approach to problem-solving is 'if you set it on fire enough it will cease to be a problem, or will at least become a different problem'

Anyway, I really was pleasantly surprised by qqgk because I didn't know what to expect and the first arcs felt like 'okay this is fun and entertaining but I'm not sure I'm completely on board' and then it went 'okay hang on let me just--' and went harder than I thought it would. I will admit there are aspects of the ending that I didn't love, but in a way that honestly doesn't impact my overall enjoyment of it, or my satisfaction with the closure of the story.

I don't know if I have done a very good job selling it or presenting a coherent image of it but that's what I've got, so if that sounds like a good time to you then I'd be curious to hear what you eventually think!

(I'd also be interested in any 无限流 that you would recommend to a fellow liehuo enjoyer, as it's a genre I'm enjoying but have also not read extensively in)

#asks #anon #recommendations #this is such an incoherent recommendation but I'm sticking with it #jump off the cliff the water's fine!

[supportivecircle]

i ran a sonic based dnd campaign for a year

my folders on drive and on my desktop are filled with so much crap

we didn’t get to finish it but the campaign document was sitting at around 130 slides and we still had a final stretch to go. it was post metal virus arc by a few months, sonic didn’t come back immediately (in fact he wasn’t sent to the Sol Dimension, he warped to the Twilight Cage. the players who knew Sonic expected Sol Dimension. i robbed their minds. i ROBBED them. THATS RIGHT. DARK BROTHERHOOD WAS BEING WORKED INTO IT. LOOSELY. WE CLOWN IN THIS MOTHERFATHER.) so Amy didn’t step down but Jewel did become her administrator of the Logistics branch of the Restoration, while Amy lead the Security branch. 

i made a custom warlock subclass (balance unsure) for wisps patron that had an experimental prototype variable wispon the restoration was testing based off of whisper’s

i pieced together a map of the main continent based off of: tabbing in and out of the sonic forces map screen to get the rough landmass and locations of “zones”; some work people online did to try the same thing; cream’s WRONG map (she says thats north but cuhLEARLY in forces this cannot be the case dear god help me you stYUPID CHILD); and amy’s Restoration map was of no help to me at all because it shows Central City on the coast where Seaside/Sunset would have been, and also on a northern shoreline while barricade town is on the end of an entire peninsula. so i FIXED it. i fixed ALL of it. also there is a small town named Degrassi near the snowline south of Winterburg. because we love Degrassi. make it canon Evan Stanley if you somehow stumble across this. whisper into Flynn’s ear like wormtongue and get this done for me, whatever it takes, because i know you can make it through. maybe name it like Dagrassy. idk you’re the talent not me.

we had started in 2020 and played for two months before taking a year hiatus to play a magical girl campaign in the FATE system. some highlights of the campaign:

at one point early on, a piece of the orbiting ruined Death Egg fell to the earth in an event known as a “Death Fall” and landed on Orchardville. the players got to team up with Whisper to infiltrate it and deactivate the systems onboard controlling the badniks coming out of it. mimic was also there to steal data for starline.

the Bad Guys didnt split up like in canon, instead eggman had been working real lowkey on finding where sonic warped to to finish him off, and starline became better at being a leader. mimic was still doing stealth ops. rough and tumble were given a task of leading bandit activity in the western part of the continent to keep the Restoration busy. honestly, i just didn’t want to think about what to do with the Zeti so they never came up. its a whole thing. probably not well thought out grand scheme but no one asked questions about the Zeti.

i stole the entirety of the death house from curse of strahd but toned it down to just make a spooky haunted house segment near windmill village and i played the instrumental loop of pumpkin hill for at least 30 minutes at one point as ambience.

one of the players had a truck that over time got suped up with upgrades to be a complete wrecking ball with a lightning cannon to shock badniks and an on-board AI the inventor made based off of his boss, Lanolin, named LAN who would activate with the phrase LAN-Online.

the players helped begin the healing of the Green Sand Hill Zone by uncovering the underground main hub Egg Pyramid that had been controlling the Egg Pyramids in Forces and were draining oil out from the earth. they fought Thunderbolt the Chinchilla there, who had been running the operation for Eggman while he was working on his grander plans.

one player was offered a FIST BUMP in the first session by Lanolin and refused cause the character was an old grouch. this stain on their character was never cleaned.

there were several starline’d versions of badniks that appeared the closer they got to his operations. incredibly obvious knock offs with a new color scheme. starline also freaking died by being outplayed by Eggman.

there was a recurring merchant they met in the first city and almost every major city afterwards who was actually a wizard who inherited wealth from their bastard father and decided to open up a series of pawn shops across the world called Thorne’s Tradery (her name was Juliet Thorne). she refused to use offensive magic out of an oath she took, but was doing her best to help the Restoration by supplying their agents (and civilians) with easy access to a fair place to trade and possibly get magic/advanced tech items (not for civilians).

i did what SEGdont and had Tangle and Whisper finally resolve their blatant romantic tension with the aid of the player characters. we stan these lesbian queens. tangle was a monk who had “determination” or something instead of Ki, and whisper was the same warlock subclass as the player character, but a lower level. i never got around to making an amy statblock but she was going to be a battlemaster fighter with some character feat type stuff akin to divination wizard’s portent, and would have focused around giving players advantages/extra actions in combat when not beating stuff with her hammer.

the finale was going to have the entire team go super-mode via chaos emeralds (screw the canon) and fighting a giant invasive monstrosity from the twilight cage threatening to destroy Central City, while Sonic was still dealing with REALITY SICKNESS from his time spent in the cage. they’d have had unique abilities, a theme song on their turn (Endless Possibilities Rockestrate My World version, Reach for the Stars, What I’m Made Of, and Knight of the Wind), and a one-time reaction called “We’re All Counting on You” that would have provided them with an emergency supply of rings from notable NPCs they had bonded with during the game. it was going to be hype.

i was far FAR too lazy to draw my own characters on top of maps and writing everything, so i used a freaking ton of OCs i found online as character pieces. possibly controversial to some, but i never passed them off as my own and knew i’d never be able to draw or show artwork of them in any posts online i made about the campaign cause they aren’t my characters. so unfortunately, i cannot make or post artwork of player character Periwinkle the Pangolin making out with her witch girlfriend Rosaline the Fox. i did make this little guy though: Georgie Greenhorne, the deer, and avid child scout. he has several badges.

anyway decided to finally make use of this account to post something of substance and then probably nothing else.

i also found this old meme i made about one of my player’s Forces OC (the brown dog) and mine, who appeared in the campaign as the CANONICAL BUDDY near the end to fist bump with knuckles. i also have this cursed lanolin with no fluff in the back. check it out. tell your friends.

#idw sonic #sonic the hedgehog #dnd #dungeons and dragons #sonic wisps #lanolin the sheep #tangle the lemur #whisper the wolf #georgie greenhorne #more tags more #oh you like tags do you? well have all the tags in the world! #sonic campaign #sonic oc #sonic idw #idk which idw tag to use #wait you mean the author came back to add MORE tags?

[ashes-writing]

nothins gonna hurt you baby | ahs asylum ; k.walker

tag list babes || req rules / fandoms+characters reqs open || send me asks? || masterlist

CHAPTERS ; 

Not sure if this is gonna have more than one part, tbh. But my AHS masterlist can be found here.

AUTHORS NOTES;

This one is gonna have dark themes jsyk. So this was inspired by a headcanons req I got recently and it re-ignited my love for Kit Walker from AHS Aslyum, so.. Here we are. Buckle up. It's gonna be an interesting ride to say the least. aka, ashes is going to have to do loooots of research to pull this one off accurately. This probably won't follow along with Asylum's plot if, and a huge if, I choose to make this into a multi part thing. For now, it's a oneshot. Just to be safe.

A huuuge thanks to everyone reading / encouraging my bullshit because when I started posting my writing on here again after my hiatus, I came back with nothing beyond the expectation to get my ideas out of my head before they drive me insane. You guys don't know how much your interactions have blown me away, seriously. They've been a huge motivator for me to keep going, the likes, the comments, the reblogs / reblogs with tags, all of it. They all blow me away and I can't even begin to explain it.

SUMMARY;

-- he is your protector.

PAIRING;

Kit Walker x Fem!reader ( Beyond having female parts / outfits + personality that will come if I write more to this sooner or later, she's a blank slate?)

WARNINGS;

murder implied, mental illness, trauma, hints of an arranged ab*sive marriage -in all forms, questionable practices from the 50's era asylums, blood / injuries, reader is non-verbal and her mind has mostly blocked out the crime she's committed that got her sent to Briarcliffe to begin with. The guards, nuns / orderlies mistreating the patients -this sadly, was commonplace back in the day, Protective!Kit should be his own warning. Writer advises that if you can't handle a little darkness in your reading experience or you have trauma related to any of the above that it's probably better advised that you don't read this because writer is not trying to traumatize anyone. Writer is also not a doctor, law enforcement official or a medical professional / psychologist of any shape/form and there may be inaccuracies that slip through.

TAGLIST;

@krys-orion is the only person on my ahs taglist. If you read the warnings and you can't read this, love, I completely understand because this is not the stuff I typically post. If you want to be on my AHS taglist please click the link above.

OTHER STUFF;

Loosely based on AHS Asylum's season. There will probably be a lot of changes made and/or it may not use events in said season at all. Please read the warnings above, cannot stress this enough. Fun fact. This is named after a Cigarettes After Sex song on my filth writing playlist.

You keep to yourself because it’s easier. Everything is scary for you, there’s too many people and too much noise and some of them are big, mean and scary. And then there’s the orderlies and the nuns and they’re terrifying. 

You’ve been abandoned in hell. Nobody’s swooping in to save the day. It’s either Briarcliffe or prison for you and you’re lucky you got sent here even though it doesn’t feel like it most days.

The reality hits hard and it hits fast and in the end, you decide that maybe it’s just better. At least in Briarcliffe, he can’t put his hands on you anymore. He can’t try to force you to be intimate with him just because you’re his wife and that’s how it’s supposed to be. You don’t have to look at him, you don’t have to smell the whiskey on his breath or hear him mock you when you won’t pretend to love him.

What the hell did he expect?

You never wanted to marry him in the first place, your parents and his set it all up like a business transaction. To be fair, this is kind of what it was. You were a peace offering from your family to his .And you went along with it because you were meek and mild and too afraid to stand your ground. Until one day, you weren’t anymore.

,, and anyway, he can’t hurt you anymore now can he?” it’s the fragmented sliver of reality that slips in and jars you.

They keep saying you killed him but it’s all a blur. Blood on your hands, the clink of a tire tool on the concrete out in the garage, the death wheeze when you bent down to watch the life leave his eyes that last time he laid hands on you and you finally snapped. You might have killed him, who knows -you did kill him and you know you did. The doctor in here keeps saying it’s your mind block the trauma when you tell people that he’s alive and kicking and you’re afraid one day he’ll get his hands on you again. And maybe it is. But the fear is real. It’s ever-present and there’s nothing you can do to get rid of it.

Today is your first day in the common area, your first day off of solitary. You’re led in with shackles around your wrist -this is a joke, it’s not like you need restraint, you killed the only person you’ve ever wanted to, after all.  And you’re led to a chair next to the big windows with a view of the garden on the grounds.

“You keep actin real good, sweetheart.. You be good t’ me and I might get ‘em to let you out, get some color in those cheeks again.” the guard’s words sound so much like him that your fists clench before you can stop it, your nails leaving crescents in your palm because you dig in so hard as the fear settles in. He takes off the shackles so you can move freely. You’re still trying to figure out why they were necessary. Flinching when the guard leans into you real close and winks. “I’ll come round later, sweetheart. You best be good to me.” 

And then a loud voice behind you. Heavy accent.

Shouting and shoving, a brown haired man and the guard rolling on the floor.

The fight’s broken up and the guard goes off to fix his injuries. The brown haired man sits down on the sill of the window. “Name’s Kit.”

You give him a weak smile and your eyes dart around, it’s almost as if you’re terrified that any minute, he’ll jump out, drag you by your hair down the corridor because you’re so close to another man.

You’re non-verbal for the most part, so you pick up the pen and notepad left behind for you.

I’m ___.

Kit furrows his brows and stares at you a few seconds when you shove the notepad at him. He finally takes it, brown eyes dancing over the words, a roguish grin playing at nice lips. He’s got a kind face and if you were more talkative, -maybe one day, the thought comes, you’d tell him so.

For now, you keep it to yourself.

He takes the pen from your hands and you bite your lip when rough and thick digits brush against your smaller and more delicate fingers. He’s got his head dipped low, eyes trained on the notepad. As his tongue rolls over his lips, he writes out what he wants to say to you.. Just in case all the noise and talking bothers you or somethin.

– That’s a pretty name, dollface. Heard what that guard said to y’. He won’t bother you again. I promise.

He holds out the notepad and you take it, biting your lips as you read over what he’s written out. You glance up at him and he’s studying you, curious.

It’s almost like he wants to ask you something, he’s just not going to.

- Thank you. You can call me whatever you like. Please don’t get yourself hurt or in any kind of trouble with the orderlies on my account, Kit. Please don’t.

You hold it back out to him and he takes it, reading. Dragging a big and rough hand through dark brown hair. Chuckling as he rubs his chin and thinks for a few seconds before reaching out to take the pen.

- Think I’m gonna call you doll. Dollface. You’re cute. Don’t worry your pretty little head, doll. Y’ need somebody to look out for y’, alright? Trust me.

He holds the notepad and pen back out to you and you take it, twisting the pen between your fingers as you gaze at the words on the paper. You can feel your cheeks burn when you read what he’s said about you being cute. It’s probably the first nice thing anyone’s ever said to you. You glance up at him and shake your head no at him, frowning. Then you take the pen and start to write out your response.

-Kit.. Please don’t. It’s not worth the trouble, okay?

It is, doll. And I’m going to, whether y’ want me to or not.

You sigh when he shows you the notepad. He’s probably one of those stubborn types. Nothing you say will matter, he’s going to do what he wants, regardless.

Do you want to walk around? The guard is full of shit. You can walk, you just can’t go out yet. They did it to me too. 

You nod and he holds out his hand. You gaze at it warily but you reach out and you take hold of it. Kit pulls you up from where you’re sitting and he leads you out of the room. As you roam the halls with him, he tells you about what got him put in, he tells you that he knows some of why you were put in too and you swallow hard when he admits that. As you round a corner, he stops you both, putting a hand up against the column of your neck. “This is.. It’s okay, right?”

You nod. He smiles a little, it’s a sweet little grin, his cheeks turning a pale pink. “I’m gonna take care of you now, alright? Everything is gonna be just fine, doll.” 

#kit walker #kit walker imagine #kit walker fanfiction #kit walker x reader #kit walker fanfic #kit walker oneshot #kit walker x fem!reader #// read all warnings + proceed with extreme caution

[toskarin]

personal spoiler window is now over. send me questions about VesalBlood, especially ALTERNE

I'll also include a few answers that assume you've caught up to chapter 5 below the break. no direct plot spoilers, but it's all stuff copied from my personal notes that, to some extent, informs the events of the story

general cultural information

cigarettes aren't smoked outside of the Kreuzhafen Union unless they're exports, and they're much more rarely smoked outside of the military. they're illegal in the Solis and technically illegal in Kishar, but the latter plays loose with their own laws. they don't actually contain tobacco, but a sort of pseudo-nicotine slurry that flakes like asbestos

"contractor" refers to any corporate conglomerate that operates a colony/city/settlement/station in technically unclaimed territory. on planets like Irra, where claiming territory would be diplomatically unwise, contractors affiliate directly with a government for protection. if these affiliations expire, they become "grey contractors" and are no longer legally recognised

a grey contractor settlement can still be a caravanserai, depending on how things shake out. the Solis, off-paper, maintains plenty of connections with grey contractors that are technically unaffiliated

Kreuzhafen cities often have paper lanterns in them. they're cheap and often electric, but they're associated with several of the major faiths practiced in their territory, so governmental bodies often distribute them as a sign of good will

when written as a proper noun, Justice doesn't refer to one deity. Justice is the english equivalent (none of these characters are speaking English, mind you) of the term used by several folk religions to refer to the mansion in which beneficial deities are included. Meilin says "by grace of Justice" or anything similar, it's basically "thank heaven"

Justice isn't a concrete thing. while some folk faiths hold a more specific devotion to the deities they consider to be their patrons, it's not uncommon to find a more transactory and secular relation with the divine. which ones are "canon"? it depends on who's answering prayers. do they actually exist? it depends on who you ask

day and night are always measured according to the time on Kishar. every culture has a different explanation for why this is, but the end result is that nearly every planet with orbital solar reflectors is tuned to create a rhythm similar to Kishar days. because Irra can't have them (or anything in permanent orbit), it periodically drifts into having "dark days" and "bright nights"

deserting, whether it be from your family, your company, your caste, or the military, is an absolute taboo. in the best of cases, expect social exile, but in cases where deserting is actually criminal, expect death

"rebellion against the unjust" is culturally approved, but never actually occurs within Kreuzhafen. during trade union disputes and civil uprisings, the exact nature of unrest is kept under wraps. in events where it cannot be suppressed, the unrest is violently settled and then co-opted as "having come to a peaceful solution" (see: the adoption of blackblade armaments)

family and names

when influential families in the Kreuzhafen Union marry, unless it is explicitly agreed to be an absorption rather than a merger, their names are amended into a string. the most influential of the families is listed first, with all other names often abbreviated out when not required

in cases where two families share a name, it is an absorption by default. there are three or so notable exceptions, but this is more of a symbolic gesture, as the smaller family is still considered part of the larger. in such exceptions, the names are followed by a number for brevity

in cases where two families do not merge or absorb from a marriage (common occurrence when scions who aren't family heads marry), the children take the names of each family in order of birth, in descending order of influence. in cases where only one child is born, only the most influential family can lay claim to them

family names hold power in the Union, albeit to a lesser extent than in places with more direct nobility. bastard children of influential families are considered orphans, which also means they find themselves born without a social caste. unless they are adopted, they will never receive a family name and will default to the labour caste

almost none of the aforementioned rules apply to the average person and their family. the average person thinks the overly long names of upper class scions are strange, uptight, and obnoxious

linguistic flavour

english is not spoken. german is not spoken. no modern languages are spoken. it's kind of a high gothic situation, where you are expected to understand that the written language is, at the best of times, something that sounds kind of similar to an unwritten conlang

curiously, everyone does still say "fuck" as written. that one had staying power.

the linguistic differences between factions often cause problems in communication, but because both the Divine Solis and the Kishar speak in a set of "preserved" languages with authorities in charge of ensuring they don't drift, it's never impossible to find some sort of lingua franca

the Kreuzhafen territories speak untold many languages with five major languages being most prominent. dialects cause some issues, but the existence of the weavenet and general education does a lot to ensure that most citizens are at least bilingual

in communications between the Union and the Divine Solis, it's often striking to the former how much the latter sounds like "a character in a historical drama"

sexuality, gender, and romantic norms

depending on where you live, the social norms around homosexuality and gender vary significantly

all genders, sexualities, and most ages (that can do their job) are welcome in the military. if it doesn't interfere with your work, they'll happily enlist you. individual biases do, of course, apply. it's a bit of a neoliberal authoritarian nightmare

while diversity is generally accepted (conditionally) in Kreuzhafen, there's an undeniable tone of unseriousness among the upper classes around relationships that don't further their families. it's fine to take a lover of the same sex, so long as you're still planning on having children or marrying someone strategically advantageous

for scions who can't take motions to merge or absorb families, gay marriages are usually fine, provided you aren't too public about it. scions in general are seen as kind of embarrassing if they aren't placed in an important position (ie becoming a vessel to a family's pygmalion or managing a branch of a company), so this is also true of any marriage at all

monogamy isn't strictly enforced, besides for family reasons or religious ones. some faiths exalt polygamy, while others warn against it. to simplify a long ramble about that, the answer is "sometimes it's fine"

pilotkillers

a "pilotkiller" is a colloquial term used in the Union military to refer to an undetectable mechanical implant placed against the hearts of pilots during their promotion physicals. when tripped, they damage the pilot's heart beyond repair, resulting in their immediate death — regardless of whether their circulatory system is currently attached to a jackal or pygmalion

not all recruits actually receive them. all recruits undergo a sedated physical, along with a basic course of surgery, but the looming threat of pilotkillers is more effective than expending the resources to produce one for every fielded pilot. because of this, desertion rates are remarkably low

the Divine Solis has their own version of a pilotkiller, but despite being grouped into the same category, it operates entirely differently. as a bio-implant, its active effects resemble a nerve agent. there are no Solis pilots or vessels without this implant

shuttles and stations

you cannot travel from one territory to another. even before 102EC, the lines between factions are drawn too solidly. the closest solution is to arrange a trip to Irra, then travel from one contractor city to another. this is only really viable for citizens of Irra, as checkpoints would turn away IDs from opposing factions

shuttle stations work like train stations with military security that launch you into space on giant shuttleramps. don't think too much about it.

most cargo does not leave Irra. cargo should not travel through Irra. the reason stated on paper is that Irra predators could escape the planet, which would pose an enormous invasive species risk. the loophole to this, in cases where someone would have to stop on Irra before travelling to their final destination, is arranging an orbital shipper to hold their cargo before transferring it off to a second shipper en route to their final destination

security checkpoints for entering Irra and other disputed territories are notably light. leaving the territories, especially ones on Irra, involves a lengthy screening. every trader has a tragic story of someone they knew who tried to leave Irra, got caught up in a multi-month screening, and still had to forfeit the majority of their legal cargo

pre-102EC, these security screenings could be largely circumvented by simply not attempting to move any cargo from the planetside. a pilot (or vessel) badge for the destination territory would expedite things significantly

the power of names and other occultics

multiple systems of magic, sorcery, mysticism, and other such things are believed and practised in different locales

in many belief systems, secular and otherwise, the power of names is held to be that of binding. to grant something your name is to open your first point of weakness, becoming a knowable and vulnerable thing

although it's not clear if this is the reason, one popular theory suggests that the use of terms like "ferrous humor" in fleshcrafting and necrosurgery might stem from an early belief in the field that something's nature could be wholly altered through its name

the term "rose" in fleshcraft refers to any fractal pattern of ideas, identity, or belief. a concept that cascades in and out of itself is a rose. referring to something as a rose is a way of acknowledging that its complexities extend beyond what you could measure, but that you still require it for the purpose it could serve

fleshcraft and necrosurgery are pseudosciences that work. this is a weird distinction. they're not exactly magic, as they are certainly knowable, but there seems to be no distinct origin point of their study, and thus any lost knowledge is assumed lost forever. their truths seem to evade all but those who do not seek them

nobody actually knows how pygmalions, necromatrices, and similar fleshthings work. anyone who claims to understand them has never worked with them

to generalise very broadly, the Union believes in the divine alchemy of flesh, the Solis believe in the divine blessing of flesh, and Kishar believes in the divine coexistence of flesh

#vesalblood #boyfriendofsteel

[annoyinglandmagazine]

A Child in Her Mother’s Clothes

Summary: All is not well in Valinor under the light of the trees but the children cannot be allowed to know that. Alternatively Maedhros embodies the role of eldest daughter, Morgoth is creepy and Feanor is angry and paranoid (but is it really paranoia if people are actually out to get you?) CW for Morgoth.

‘Nelya, Nelya!’ The cries were followed by the thumping of little feet on the stone and wooden floors all the way from one side of their home in Tirion to the other until little hands were tugging at her skirts and pulling her down from her seat at the window. ‘Oh alright, alright, I’m coming sweethearts just give me a second to put my bookmark in!’ She laughed while swatting them away and carefully leaving the tome on the cushion to be retrieved later. She turned to her darling baby brothers who were tugging at her in impatience and if it had been but a year ago she would have been on the floor by now, with her steps being much less sure and the two little agents of chaos determined to make her trip over her long limbs.

‘Slow down! I was out riding earlier and you know how merciless Tyelko is on hunting trips. What did you want to show me?’ She got a rather rambling explanation that she smiled and nodded along to in the appropriate places and seemed to gather that they had found some interesting sort of frog in one of the forest streams and that the poor creature was most likely in an old jar. Well she’d solve that problem when it came to it. It would scarcely be the first time she’d had to explain that little elflings can’t keep every animal they find as a pet. Far from the first time. And not only to her own brothers.

She clasped their muddy hands and allowed herself to be led down to the courtyard by the two twins, chatting at her with great enthusiasm, and exchanged amused glances with the servants she passed on her way down the narrow winding back staircase that strictly speaking wasn’t a very proper place for the now lady of her house to be. Naturally she found herself there fairly regularly. The Feanorians weren’t a very proper family and even less so without Nerdanel there to remind them to at least make an effort where others could see. Just as they were going down past the central part of the castle there was a single booming knock on the door.

‘Go on ahead, I’ll come after you in a minute, I just need to see what they want.’ She waved them on and despite their complaints they obeyed her as they usually did in the end. As most people usually did in the end. She brushed off the mud specks on the folds of her gown left by the pads of small fingertips and pushed some loose strands of hair into a pin while striding to the entrance hall. She unbolted the door and fixed that smile onto her face, the one she’d been told made her look both nice and pretty by many and far less intelligent than she was by her father. She privately agreed with him on this matter but he could never understand the benefits of not playing your full hand when such a ploy would never have worked for him. He could never understand that when someone expects a naive and beautiful daughter they will accept that that is all there is with very little convincing and the many uses of this to the skilled actress.

She changed tack slightly once she saw who their unexpected visitor was, standing in the porch, sheltered by trees they’d planted themselves to give security and privacy from all her father’s enemies lurking behind every corner waiting to wheedle their way in the cracks as they already had into the children’s nightmares and peace of mind. She had felt rather inclined to yell at Atar for that one, there had been no need to frighten them so to justify their growing isolation that was truthfully more his fault than any other.

She may have yelled at him then, and no doubt the image would have reminded her painfully of some of her most recent memories of her Amme if she had (Atar always told her she looked uncannily like her mother when she was angry. Oddly she thought this was intended as a compliment). She may have if she hadn’t realised that it wasn’t only her brother’s dreams they haunted, that how fabricated they may or may not be was beside the point because, in that dark, steam filled forge with that light to turn all other light to shadow piercing through the haze, they were real to the only mind that truly mattered in this family.

And so when she saw one in front of her something in her grew wary and hardened in a way all but alien to her yet came on instinct. She dropped all the softness and false genuineness in her smile and when she spoke she stayed perfectly civil but drew herself up to her full height and allowed just a hint of that steel edge to peak out from under her smooth tone. ‘Hello. I expect you’ll have come here to speak to my father but as he is otherwise occupied at present I may answer your queries if that is satisfactory to you.’

Melkor smiled, also perfectly civil of course but with just a bit too much pleasure to be appropriate for this conversation. ‘I don’t suppose I could trouble you with coming inside for a minute? To await your father’s return.’ And of course there was no refusal that would be suitable for her to make to one of the Valar, not without causing graver insult than her father had yet which was certainly not her objective. She stood aside with more practiced smiles and words while she found herself praying without true knowledge why that the twins stayed outside.

They sat in the nearest drawing room for entertaining guests and he turned to her with another polite smile while looking her up and down appraisingly with cool, dark eyes. ‘You must be the eldest, Maitimë. A well chosen name.’ She felt cold claws of dread climbing down her back into the base of her stomach and it was a sensation she wasn’t familiar with. She had heard such comments before but only meant as slightly awkward compliments, never in a way that made her feel as if she were being threatened somehow, as if the Vala was seeing all the ways in which she could be twisted to his own devices.

She felt strongly aware of the house dress she was attired in, decent to greet company in of course but a thin summer garment that left much skin exposed and fitted to the rest in a way that left a deep discomfort with being appraised in such a manner. She understood that this was not the gaze of a nér unto a nís but somehow this was much more sinister in her mind. She did not like sitting here with him alone but knew that she should like it even less if the children were here also, though why she could not ascertain. He was a Vala, it was not as if there was any reason for worry here other than her father’s paranoia, she was simply working herself up.

‘Your father is in the forge is he not? Shall he grace us with his presence?’ This was said with a little smirk to her, much like one her grandfather would give her to let her in on a joke. It still failed to put her at ease however, in fact such uninvited familiarity just added to the growing sense of discomfort in having him here in their home, though she acted as though it did. She smiled back, the politician’s smile her father was much more fond of, ‘Why yes, I believe he should be along at some point in the next hour.’

He leaned forward in his chair to snag a lock of flame red hair and examine it between spindly fingers lazily as she became deathly still, hardly daring to chance a breath. He smiled ‘Feanor’s so very proud of you. You can just tell how important you are to him.’ He’s a Vala, he’s a Vala, he’s being friendly, don’t be rude you’re not your father, don’t cause a scene we can’t afford that he needs you to be the diplomat, the children are outside-

The fingers released her hair and in the process brushed against the pale freckled skin of her cheek in a lingering way that left no doubt to whether it was an accident. And the touch was like ice that burned and her heart was hammering in her chest and suddenly the only thought spinning through her mind was a desperate plea ripping itself out of every cell in her body. Atya.

When Feanor flung the door open less than a minute later Melkor’s hand was trailing down the side of her bare neck, his enjoyment being not of her smooth skin but of having one so strong willed and precious to Feanor freeze with fear, to exert control over her. And his eyes burned with white flame that he trained on the Vala with all his force. What may have happened next there is no way of knowing for at that moment a small child appeared at the doorway and turned to his father with wide eyes. ‘Why did you leave in the middle of our work Atar? Who is this?’

Feanor’s eyes never left Melkor’s, who was looking at the whole incident with and expression of mild amusement and confusion. ‘Nelya. Be a good girl and take your brother outside.’ Maedhros stood gracefully despite the tremors in her bones and crossed the room to Atarinkë, scooping him up into her arms in one motion and he rested his head on her shoulder reflexively as she strode out without any further word, willing her heartbeat to slow as she relied on its steadiness to calm her brother.

‘What’s going on Nelya?’ Maitimë spoke soothingly while lifting him above her head to a fit of giggles from the younger child. ‘Oh nothing’s going on little one, Atya is just going to talk to that person about work things, nothing you need to trouble yourself about. Amrod and Amras should be about here, let’s find something to play together, alright?’ And she lowered her voice to a playful whisper of the kind that worked so perfectly every time by implying the imparting of some great secret no others could know of. ‘And later you and I can make some honey cakes, just the two of us. Does that sound like a plan to you?’

#silmarillion #tolkien #maedhros #curufin #amrod #amras #morgoth #feanor #female maedhros #genderbending

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Sing in the darkness - Chapter 2 - Part 5

Translation of Sing in the darkness from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’, a new side arc alongside the current main story arc Like the dawning light.

Bianchi: Geh

Jude: Phew, found you…

Jude: Now what in the world are you doing here for?

Sage: ?

Bianchi: Hold it. Lay off those nasty glares to Sei-chan. I already told you to get along with him.

Jude: Of course. I didn’t forget

Bianchi: Sigh….

Bianchi: I’m here for some small talk. Talk to your teammates if you don’t have anything better to do.

Jude: Got it, Bianchi

Jude: Sage, what did you and Bianchi talk about? Lay it all out for me. 

Sage: Uuum… we talked about how we ended up coming to New Million, and the reason for becoming a hero.

Sage: Jude-kun, may I ask why you became one?

Jude: Me? Because Bianchi--

Bianchi: Because I was there is not valid. 

Bianchi: We met at the Academy, remember. Leave that aside and talk about the time you set your sights on becoming a hero.

Jude: Haha, nothing slips by Bianchi.

Jude: Why I aspired to become a hero is pretty simple….

Jude: To hunt down thrills. That’s all. 

Sage: Eh…

Bianchi: Sei-chan, that’s the kind of guy he is. You ought to know by now that he has a few screws loose, no?

Bianchi: I mean like, trying to understand him is pointless… better off giving up since it takes up so much energy.

Jude: Bianchi….

Bianchi: What now. Got something against that?

Jude: No. I don’t have a reason to, do I? I’m deeply moved in fact.

Jude: How we met at the Academy and all that time spent together from there, was never in vain…

Jude: It’s making my heart leap with joy to see how far you went to understand me on a deeper level.

Bianchi: Haaaah…

Sage: ……

Bianchi: Very sorry, Sei-chan. Having you sit through these tedious back and forths every single time. 

Bianchi: I cannot agree with this team formation after all. I’m going to directly negotiate if they don’t want to reconsider going forward---

Sage: I don’t think it’s tedious at all!

Sage: The way you two act around each other is fun to see, or rather… I end up feeling all fuzzy inside while watching you guys.

Bianchi: What now!?

Jude: Sage…!!

Sage: The fact that you knew each other since the Academy probably plays a big role in this, but I honestly envy the bond you two forged with each other.

Sage: Being on the same page as your fellow teammate, understanding each other well, I believe that’s more important than anything at this moment…

Bianchi: Sei-chan…

Jude: Sage actually knows his stuff better than what I expected. Got a feeling we’re gonna make a great pair of teammates, you and I

Sage: Really…!?

Bianchi: Wait a sec. I’m like, offended by all of this, you know!?

Jude: Ahahaha

Bianchi: Come on…!

#helios rising heroes #heliosr #sage skyfall #bianchi law #jude ares #sing in the darkness

[snow-system-wol]

Late at night, after the Sharlayan Envoy and the battle at Carteneau, Alphinaud knocks on S'ria's door looking to talk -- or at least to not be alone.

(In which a boy who once idolized his father realizes that he hates the idea of ending up like him.)

Ao3

S'ria jolted out of sleep, briefly unsure why he was awake until he heard a couple more timid knocks at his door. He immediately scrambled out of bed. There were really only a few people it could be, and anyone trying to hurt him that got this far into the building would've just broken in.

Alphinaud was already turning to walk away when S'ria managed to get the door open. His was dressed down as if meant to sleep, hair loose and far longer than S'ria would've guessed it'd be unbraided, but he didn't look as though he'd even bothered getting into bed. He took a long look at S'ria's own disheveled state, drawing in on himself.

"Pray forgive me, I had hoped you would not have retired to bed yet, but given the events of the day I should hardly be surprised. I shan't keep you."

It did not take more than a moment for S'ria to feel Menphina's presence layer strongly over his own, not with one in need of kindness right in front of them.

"Alphinaud, please, I'm already awake. Come in."

He followed S'ria into his room, nearly tripping over his feet. Ah, he'd nearly forgotten. While Seekers only had adequate night sight compared to Keepers, S'ria was sure that Alphinaud could probably see nothing at all. He hastily lit a candle at his desk and a faint warm glow covered part of his room. Surely that would be enough for Alphinaud to navigate safely at least? Besides – he never seemed to like people looking at his face too closely while he was feeling vulnerable, so the near-darkness was probably a comfort.

Alphinaud sat down next to S'ria on the bed, uncharacteristically quiet. He only grew more uncomfortable as the silence dragged on.

"It seems a bit trivial to remain focused on mere family matters after our trials at Carteneau and yet, here I am. I – simply wished to not be alone, and Alisaie is… handling this in her own way, and may not want my company for that. You need not humor me."

"This isn't humoring you. You've had a rough day, you can stay as long as you need."

Alphinaud looked at him, unimpressed. "And what of your need for rest? You must needs be exhausted."

"I don't intend to neglect that. By all means, you can sleep here, if you'd like."

Even in the low light, he could see the affronted look on Alphinaud's face. 

"I am not a child."

S'ria raised his hands placatingly. "I know that. However – I got so used to Ardbert being there when I slept, or when I woke up from nightmares, that I had trouble sleeping alone for months. If you actually wanted to stay here, it'd hardly reflect on your age. That's all."

"I… I see." He looked conflicted, but not particularly convinced. "My reaction was, mayhap, unwarranted."

"Oh, don't worry about that – no need to do anything you're uncomfortable with either. I just wanted you to know that the option is there."

They lapsed into silence again for a long time. S'ria tiredly watched the candlelight flicker and wondered if he was actually going to fall asleep before Alphinaud left. He stayed upright in determination, rather than letting himself lie down.

"I-I." He pointedly cleared his throat. "I knew from the start that Father–". Alphinaud winced and briefly trailed off, as if unsure he was allowed to say that anymore. " –That he was never going to say yes. Or rather, that Sharlayan would always have refused to help. I had hoped, when he came in person, but deep down I still knew."

S'ria waited patiently. (Menphina, at the edges of his thoughts, did as well. Even if she did not need to step in, she could still help.)

"I simply did not expect him to go quite so far as to publicly expel us from the family. I cannot help but feel like an idiot for thinking he wouldn't, I know how he is – if we so much as questioned any little matter with him, he would always get so…" Alphinaud let the sentence trail off into silence. "I had just held out hope that with the fate of this star in the balance, it would be different, but I should have understood the consequences of my words." 

Alphinaud pulled his feet onto the bed so that he could wrap his arms around his legs. 

" 'Tis horrible, mayhap, but… I had actually hoped that, when he personally chose to act as the envoy – that there was the slightest chance he would be proud of the important things that Alisaie and I have managed to accomplish with all of you, proud of us even. I-I should have known he would abhor us trying to grow into our own. I wonder…". He seemed hesitant to finish the thought. "I wonder if that was the reasoning behind his choice to grace us with his physical presence – if he always meant to test our obedience."

He looked at S'ria, as if that was a question anyone could possibly answer. S'ria cautiously spoke up, answering a somewhat different question than the actual one posed.

"Neither you nor Alisaie did anything wrong."

Alphinaud laughed humorlessly. "The strangest part is that I know that. 'Tis a testament to his fears – I do not regret speaking my mind, nor do I feel any shame for having done so. 'Twas the right thing to do."

S'ria hummed softly and shifted closer to Alphinaud, pressing their shoulders together. Alphinaud immediately leaned into the contact.

"When he said that he was wrong for ever having let us leave Sharlayan – 'twas the only part of his barbs that truly struck me. All I could think of was my life if I had been forbidden to leave, the type of person I may have become… in all of the time since, I'd nearly forgotten how terrifying it was to speak with him. The idea that I could end up like him, if I had remained there long enough – once I would have been thrilled, but the very idea is appalling to me now."

Alphinaud's breath hitched. He ducked his head and let his hair form a curtain around his face. "The sheer relief I feel for my younger self is indescribable, understanding now how easily he may have refused." While S'ria could not see his face, his shoulders were starting to shake and there was very little doubt on whether he was crying. "But, if those are my feelings on this matter, then w-why do I still care what his opinion of me is? Why does this still hurt?"

S'ria wrapped his arms around Alphinaud, rumbling soothingly, even as it was broken up by him talking. "He's made you fight to get his approval your whole life – it'll take time to unlearn that. It's not your fault. And… he may not be proud of you, but we are. We all are."

Rather than responding out loud, he just turned towards S'ria, and let himself be pulled into an actual hug. Alphinaud shook with near silent sobs and S'ria, for all of his gentle handling of the situation, needed to remind himself that harming Fourchenault Leveilleur was likely not a viable option.

Between becoming entirely cried out and the continued soft purring from S'ria, Alphinaud did fall asleep exactly where he was. S'ria simply extricated himself from his hold and curled up on the other side of his bed. Really – this bed was large enough for three, one extra teenager was hardly an inconvenience.

#snow-system #ffxiv-oc #ffxiv-reactions #s'ria 🌸❄️ #writings #uhhhh oops all projection? #look the game tries to go 'oh he was a good father at some point' but every example it gives doesnt exactly win me over #i mean we'll see if i change my mind eventually in endwalker but #absolutely F in the Chat on this one #let him catharsis cry a little it's good for him

[ac-liveblogs]

BNHA "I'm Almost There!" Catchup

I'm allllmost up to date on My Hero Academia (Bakugou just died) and it's... hmm.

(I decided to catch up once it started trending every other week due to Certain Plot Developments, watching the anime before switching into the manga.)

This is an... interesting series to think about.

BNHA spent a lot of time being a mid-to-okay series that didn't really dip in quality, but had a hard time excelling after the sports festival. It got to a really bad point where the most exciting thing happening was the Hawks/Endeavour storyline and it was struggling to keep Deku (let alone anyone else) relevant to the narrative (burdens of being chained to a high school).

None of the League of Villains were particularly fun or memorable characters for the longest time. It was really hard to care or get invested in them outside of the potential of what Dabi's arc might bring. I was pretty surprised when Shigaraki kept popping up. But while the series wasn't particularly... exciting, it became a real slog in seasons 3 to 5. It was meticulously setting up a lot of plot threads to all pay off later, but that didn't make watching them get laid out very fun.

The end of season 5 really changed things though. The LoV's picked a fight with the Meta Liberation Army and like, suddenly, Shigaraki, Toga and especially Twice were interesting characters. Man, I cannot believe it took 5 whole seasons for me to like Shigaraki. I should have always liked Shigaraki. He just... abruptly decided to start being cool at the end of season 5. And then AFO decided to be the main villain again. Screw this guy.

Season 6 was really good. All the plot threads that got laid out suddenly started paying off. Didn't especially matter that there was a lot more focus on the pros, because I'd never gotten super attached to Class 1-A anyway. I'm particularly impressed with the way Bakugou and Deku's arc has started paying off; there's a lot of very intentional symbolism and parallels in play with them that I expect will continue to stack up over time.

BNHA is a very meticulously planned series - unlike something like One Piece, where I'm pretty sure Oda just leaves himself loose plot threads that he can choose to pick up later if he wants - but. Hmm. I kinda feel that for as well as the plot is planned out, the characters end up missing out in exchange.

Deku & Shigaraki are foiled as All Might/OFA and AFO's successors respectively, both learning to be the ultimate "hero" and "villain" over the course of the story. Because of that, Shigaraki largely failed to have a strong impact on the story until right before the final handful of arcs. This is also why it's kind of disappointing that AFO refuses to properly leave the story and let Shigaraki take center stage - choosing to focus on OFA vs AFO rather than Deku and Shigaraki as the "next generation" severely kneecapped Deku's Main Antagonist and any dynamic he might have with him.

While I think Bakugou and Deku's relationship has been developed quite nicely, Bakugou never... actually got any fights that make me think he kept pace with Deku prior to the War Arc. Or is even as Hot Shit as he's supposed to be. Because Shigaraki/AFO seem to be a shared nemesis for them and Bakugou's storyline is mostly internal growth, he never got anything equivalent to Deku's fights with Stain, Overhaul or Chisaki. Part of Bakugou's arc is accepting he wants to catch up with Deku but man, my guy needed to achieve a little more before that becomes believable. I mean, there were the movies, but. Come on. (todoroki and uraraka have the same issues)

While Deku inheriting the powers of the previous users makes thematic sense when paralleled against AFO if you consider Deku the culmination of their ongoing war against him, that aspect of his power came out so late in the game that it feels unwarranted and unearned. It's also disappointing, given that "being creative with what you have" is part of what made the limitations quirks have interesting, and Deku as a protagonist seemed explicitly designed to do exactly that.

Class 1A is so underutilised that the idea of them being the Next Generation of heroes feels like a bad joke. MHA takes them being kids in training pretty seriously... until it's time for the war and suddenly Deku, Bakugou and Todoroki are incredibly strong combatants capable of keeping pace with OP terrorists. Tokoyami as Hawks' mentee is cute, but Tokoyami is never as relevant as Hawks is, and he certainly isn't keeping pace with The Important 1A Students. Also, Kirishima... yeah. Despite being billed pretty strongly, I think he's Done now, which, narratively, is pretty uneven.

It doesn't really feel like Todoroki Shouto matters. He's the springboard for the Endeavour and Dabi storyline, but as soon as MHA shifts gears to focus on that it never really stops - so now it feels weird Endeavour isn't the one fighting Dabi and the Final Conclusion of the Todoroki storyline feels like a fight between strangers. I like Endeavour and find him very interesting, but him becoming a sympathetic character removed him as Todoroki's personal antagonist and Todoroki just... never recovered from that.

Despite Shouto feeling like he doesn't matter, only the storyline he's connected to, he's completely superseded Uraraka in terms of screentime. There's been a lot of opportunities to include Uraraka that have been ignored since the Sports Festival, so the idea that Toga is her Personal Nemesis She's Going To Beat In A Fight is a bit... lol, especially given how much of that revolves around Deku. I was grateful to see them gain an extra dimension to their relationship right up until the fight between them actually started. It really does not help that the Deku/Uraraka storyline always plays, like, third fiddle to Deku+Bakugou in major and Deku+Todoroki in minor.

...etc., etc. MHA has a pretty tightly planned story, but since every arc leads directly into the planned finale and allowances haven't been made to make much use of the. uh. hero academia students, i ended up in the weird position of enjoying the war arc but not really caring about most of the pieces at play in it. Maybe if MHA had had more disconnected arcs against random enemies that didn't really go anywhere but allowed the characters time to grow and level up it wouldn't feel like the final arc arrived before the principal cast was ready to be in it. Most of them not really being very combat oriented doesn't help. I understand this is all meant to be a "trial by fire" early initiation, but the gap is still hilariously large.

Anyway, Bakugou is dead, and I'm aware that he'll Be Back Soonish, so I'll be curious to see how any of this sticks the landing. I get the horrible feeling Horikoshi will be forced to construct relationships between designated hero/villain pairs during the final climactic showdowns which... sigh.

Also, I don't like most of BNHA's OP/EDs, but the background OST is so damn good. It's really really good. Seriously

#my hero academia

[missrosegold]

Not one of my best friends making incredibly shit life choices, asking for my advice, and then completely disregarding what I say.

Oh, and these aren't about small things either - these are BIG. Like, we're talking life altering decision's, ones that you can't necessarily come back from.

I think she still expects that I'm going to support her in what she's doing, when in truth, I am not. At the risk of sounding heartless, we've been down this road before not too long ago unfortunately, and I just can't do it again. My mental health barely survived the last time, and I gave up a year of my life (and all of my hobbies, writing included) to help her with what she was going through the best I could, and I cannot do it again.

Am I angry? Of course I am, I won't deny it. The fact that she's willing put herself into a very similar predicament to the one that we went though together, again, pisses me off to no end, and I've been in a pretty horrendous mood for the last 3 days beacuse of it. I am more angry at the fact that I know she can do better, be better, but just isn't doing it. I want the best for her, honestly at my core, I do, but it seems like we have two completely different versions of what that is.

Regardless though, I will not be any part of what she's doing. If I am to keep any semblance of my sanity, I just can't, and it kinda breaks my heart.

Now the hardest part: breaking it to her in a way that I won't loose her as a friend, but make where I stand on the matter incredibly clear. I am not looking forward to this conversation, they never go the way I want them to.

I'm just so tired of trying to help with messes that I know aren't mine, but keep getting brought into.

Sorry for the rant.

#vent post #rose rants #i'm probably going to delete this later but i needed to get it off my chest #please don't ask me for context #it's just incredibly long and messy and i don't want to get into it #i also don't want her private life plastered on here #but trust me when i say it's messy #she's not in any danger before anyone asks #her health is also fine don't worry #she just makes incredibly poor life choices #i am very frustrated