#you can guess what was my favorite scene to write in Milk Run

[charmwasjess]

something that lives rent-free in my head is the casual reference in Master and Apprentice that Dooku chose his Padawans on the younger side of the usual age range, because that's what Yoda also did. Which is sweet linage bullshit, but also hilariously means that he almost certainly had to be the one to give both Rael and Qui-Gon The Talk.

What's even funnier, it means YODA probably had to be the one to give DOOKU The Talk.

#disaster lineage #yoda #dooku #qui gon jinn #rael averross #jedi sex ed #you can guess what was my favorite scene to write in Milk Run

[cinnaminsvga]

Dumbo | Jungkook (M)

→ summary: you know what they say about boys with big noses...

{or alternatively: jungkook has a big dick but he doesn’t know how to use it, but luckily you’re there to help.}

→ genre: humor/crack, smut → warnings: they talk about dicks a lot (i.e. jungkook has a big dick), DICK MEASURING CONTESTS (aka jk gets his dick appraised... just boys bein’ boys), explicit sexual content, semi-public exhibitionism, handjobs, blowjobs, sub!jungkook, whining, light dirty talk, mild pain play, mutual masturbation, jungkook has piercings, accidental edging (you’ll... understand), oc doesn’t have a gag reflex lol → words: 17.2K → a/n: @jincherie... you are my enabler and i will die on this hill only if you die on it with me. but of course i know you will die with me. because we only have one braincell and if either of us die, we both do. thank you for commissioning me to write this btw... even though i was already writing this so you just basically sent me money for free. ANYWAY... WORLD IS FUCK BUT I LOVE RHA!! ALSO JUNGKOOK HAS A BIG DICK!! EPIC!!

The club lights make it difficult for Jungkook to see anything. He doesn’t understand why club owners can’t just jack up the lighting for once; it isn’t like you’re going to be able to find a hook-up through echolocation or something. Though, judging by the way people seem to be groping their way through the masses, perhaps there really is no need for illumination anyway.

Jungkook normally hates this kind of scene. Drinking is all good and fun, especially when he’s with his hyungs, but going to overly crowded places makes his skin crawl with anxiety. It takes almost three shots during pre-game for him to get anywhere near this kind of place and it’s all thanks to Seokjin. That hyung thrives in these kinds of environments, like a clipped butterfly relearning how to fly.

“I’m gonna get shit fucked wasted!” Seokjin hollers, his arm looped carelessly around the only other person who hates being here as much as Jungkook does. He watches passively as Yoongi tries to bite a chunk off of Seokjin’s hand, but despite his inebriation, their eldest hyung is able to dodge it quickly.

“Not before I kill you, then everyone else in this place, and then myself, first.” Yoongi growls, nudging Seokjin off his smaller frame. If the world hadn’t been swaying underneath Jungkook’s feet, he might have offered to help his small hyung do the deed. If there’s anyone who hates nightclubs more than Jungkook, it’s Yoongi. Jungkook is frightened to know how Seokjin managed to convince Yoongi in the first place, and he’d prefer not to find out what sort of terrible blackmail the elder must have under his sleeve to accomplish such an arduous feat.

Just as Yoongi is about to connect his steel-toed boot up Seokjin’s freshly bleached asshole, Jimin returns from the bar with three glasses held precariously in each of his fists. Jungkook wonders yet again how this is possible due to the sheer tininess of Jimin’s hands, but then again... What can’t Jimin do when it comes to alcohol?

“I’m back! Here you go, Jungkookie,” Jimin says, seamlessly handing Jungkook a glass of what he hopes is just a regular beer like he asked. Knowing Jimin, he probably ordered the strongest shit they have. He peers at it suspiciously, but it only takes half a sip for Jungkook to confirm his guess. He grimaces, nearly coughing out a lung at the strength of the poison running down his throat.

“That tasted like fucking metal polish! What the fuck, Jimin?”

“I know! It’s great isn’t it?” Jimin smiles angelically, handing Yoongi one of the drinks. Yoongi looks at the swirling piss-yellow liquid as if it holds the secrets to the universe. It appears as if he’s decided something when his eyes light up.

“Oh my god, this drink is gonna kill me,” he says, not an ounce of fear in his voice. Jimin nods, not even trying to hide his deception.

“I promised the bartender a blowie if he could give me the strongest shit they had,” Jimin shrugs. “Dude literally went to the back room and took out this bottle that looked like it came from Napoleon’s secret stash of hooker piss.” He sniffs the drinks thoughtfully. “Yea, I could believe that.”

“I hate this!” Jungkook cries at no one in particular.

“Tough shit! We’re in this together!” Yoongi groans, downing the entire contents of his drink in one go before promptly being swallowed whole by the crowd. Seokjin hoots, hastily waving goodbye to Jungkook and Jimin before following Yoongi and diving into the sweaty masses like a seasoned Olympian.

“I hope they don’t die like last time,” Jungkook sighs, forcing himself to take a big gulp of his drink. It sears against his throat like a brand, which probably has an inscription saying “Jeon Jungkook has bad taste in friends.”

Jimin shrugs his shoulders. “Well, like Namjoon said a while ago, we’re gonna meet by the bar in 2 hours to check if everyone is still alive and we’ll find out then. Okay, Kook?”

Jimin has reminded him of this for the umpteenth time, though he can’t blame him for being extra careful. Last time the whole gang went to the club, Hoseok had gotten stuck in an elevator at his hook-up’s place and had cried for 5 hours straight before one of them thought to look for him. The time before that, Taehyung had ingested two times his bodyweight of margaritas and he had found himself in Japan the next morning with an extra $500 in his pocket.

Yeah. They’re idiots, but at least they’re idiots who will try not to make the same mistakes as last time. Key word being “try.”

Jungkook looks around the club, but he can’t find any awkward looking lanky people anywhere. “Where is Namjoon-hyung, by the way? Haven’t seen him since we split up.”

“Who the hell knows?” Jimin laughs, the sound drowning out when the DJ suddenly decides to play a death metal version of Dance the Night Away by Twice. Jimin’s eyes light up. “Ooooh shit! This is my song! See ya later, Kook!”

“W-wait, those drinks! Aren’t they for the others––“

“Bitch, you think these are for them?” Jimin begins to double fist his alcohol with the thirstiness of a man in a desert, or a twink confronted with two dicks. Either or.

To Jungkook’s horror, the crowd has seemingly grown thrice in size since they’ve arrived and he watches as Jimin’s body is slowly getting consumed by the masses, though he doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. He leans into a random guy's back, a look of bliss on his face. He salutes lazily at Jungkook. “Anyway. See you in 2 hours, Kook! Try to have fun!”

Try to have fun, his ass.

Unlike Jimin, Jungkook doesn’t particularly feel like being crushed by sweaty hormonal bodies; instead, he chooses to head to the bar. He surreptitiously dumps his drink into the trash, feeling kind of bad for discarding a free drink, but Jungkook doesn’t want to get shit-fucked wasted like the rest of them are. Perhaps he’ll be the designated driver today, even though his vision is still kind of swimming. Well, he could probably walk in a straight line if he used all his brainpower. Which isn’t a lot, but you know. People learn to make do.

It takes him a while to find an empty stool by the bar and he is unlucky enough to be squished between two couples who don’t seem to be aware that public indecency is a crime. He has to endure being jostled for five minutes straight until the bartender finally notices him and allow him to order his can of coke.

(“Sorry, kid. The banana milk is all sold out. Some girl ordered our entire stock for her friends a few hours ago.” And just like that, Jungkook wants to die all over again.)

He does not know for how long he sits by the bar. Well, that’s a blatant lie, because he knows that he’s been sitting there for 18 minutes and 34 seconds exactly. He’s checked his phone religiously every 2 minutes to see if 2 hours have passed already, just so he can ask one of his stupid friends to go home with him. Perhaps he could coerce Jimin into turning in early for once (which is a pipedream, not when the DJ seems adamant to play Jimin’s favorite Christina Aguilera song 70 times in a row.)

So in short, Jungkook is miserable. He could go home by himself, but also he doesn’t want to end up having to walk to the police station the next morning to bail his friends out after one of them inevitably destroys public property again.

Fuck. Maybe he shouldn’t have thrown away his other drink.

He’s so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice that one of the couples beside him have already left and that another person has taken their spot. He is jarred from his musings when a well-manicured hand is placed delicately on his shoulder, urging him to swivel the barstool around to face his soon-to-be acquaintance.

“Hey,” you say, a sultry smile on your lips. Jungkook feels his mouth immediately fill with cotton as he stares at your beautiful face, the dingy lighting of the club doing nothing to suppress the wicked glint in your eyes.

“Uhh… hey?” Jungkook replies, as charming and verbose as ever. If it isn’t obvious enough, Jungkook is a little lacking in the girls department, or at least, when it comes to girls-who-are-blatantly-flirting with him department. He normally isn’t this socially inept around the opposite gender, but given the connotations of this circumstance, his overactive male brain can only be restrained so much before it starts wandering towards dangerous territory.

It doesn’t help that the neckline of your dress is bordering on obscene, and Jungkook is afraid that if you move one more inch towards him, something very embarrassing might happen to the both of you (probably more so for him, if he’s being quite honest.)

“I couldn’t help but notice you from across the club and thought I should introduce myself,” you explain, gaze unashamedly trailing down his body. Jungkook can feel the heat from you radiating in waves, burning him from the inside out as he tries not to melt into a puddle in a pathetic attempt to get the fuck out of there.

“You saw me? But it’s… so dark in here…” Jungkook wants to fucking murder himself. That’s what he decides to say to you? God, no fucking wonder he’s a virgin. Good looks really aren’t everything when he doesn’t have a brain controlling the rest of his body. There might as well be a fucking hamster running laps inside of his skull for all he knew.

Thankfully (or unthankfully––God knows Jungkook’s stress levels aren’t lowering any time soon), you find his response funny enough to warrant a chuckle. You bat your eyes salaciously at him, which Jungkook didn’t even think was possible. People can be sexy? When they blink? Apparently, you can do that.

You shrug your shoulders. “That’s true. You caught me in a lie, I suppose. I actually knew you were coming even before you arrived.”

Jungkook chokes on his own spit then, nearly spraying you with his saliva like the dog that he is. His eyes bug out of his sockets, his body going tense with nerves. "You... you knew? What... What does that even mean?"

You point over your shoulder, gesturing vaguely at the crowd on the dance floor. "I'm friends with Seokjin over there. He mentioned you were coming with him to the club tonight so I decided to tag along."

"You know Seokjin-hyung?" The alarm bells in Jungkook's head start ringing wildly out of control. Nothing good ever comes out of being friends with Seokjin, especially since his presence alone has the power to make the creases in your brain to smoothen. Take it from someone who's been there, done that.

"Yep," you say, popping your 'p.' "I met him in my first-year English course, though I still don't know why a third-year like him was taking it in the first place."

"It's because he doesn't know how to read," Jungkook says plainly.

"I can tell. He uses voice-to-text exclusively and Siri can never spell Asian names correctly," you shrug your shoulders. "Either that, or he just doesn't know how to spell your name."

"Yea. I'm permanently John Jung Cock on his phone," Jungkook replies. He shakes his head. "Hold on, we were talking about something before this."

"Oh. About how I casually revealed to you that I was stalking you through our mutually insane friend?"

"Y-Yea, basically." Jungkook doesn't even understand what the fuck is happening right now. "I mean! Not exactly? Like, for all I know, you could've just asked hyung who he was coming with and he mentioned my name and––"

"Listen, kid. I straight up just told you I'm stalking you. Let's skip the foreplay and get to the meat of it: I'm literally following you," you say, without an inch of regret, embarrassment, or morality in your tone of voice.

Jungkook, who despite being filled with so much fear and tension enough to kill the small hamster inside his brain, is somehow able to keep his calm in front of the psychopath in front of him. Either that, or he's already in the middle of a stroke and he's lost all his fine motor skills.

"I... I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, baby," you murmur, leaning even closer to him until your chest was practically pressed against his. The thin layer of your dress and his well-worn cotton tee does nothing to help the situation (both in general and the one in his pants). He can feel your every curve, can smell the sweet perfume you're wearing; you were enveloping his senses. If he tried hard enough, he could probably count your eyelashes if he so desired with how close you were.

He knows he should probably be running away in terror right now, but he finds himself stuck resolutely to the barstool, unable to move. Maybe Jimin was right... Maybe he did have a fear kink or something.

("Isn't that just called masochism?" Jungkook asks, brows raised.

Jimin only laughs, patting him on the back condescendingly. "Nah, dude. You just straight up wanna die by the hands of a hot person, and I can respect that homie. We all have been there.")

“W-what do you want from me?” Jungkook asks, sweat lining his brow. You’re still looking at him like he was a meal, but he finds he probably doesn’t mind being devoured by you.

Your wicked grin returns, full force. “I just want to play, Jungkook. But why don’t we discuss this… somewhere more private?”

Thunk. Was that the sound of his heart dropping out of his ass, or his brain pressing against the left side of his skull, or his dick hitting the roof? Jungkook isn’t sure, but he does know he wants to see where this night will take him.

He lets you lead the way, squeezing through sweaty bodies and elbowing a stray hand or two. Jungkook swears he feels a guy grope him on the way out, but before he can even sock the guy in the jaw, you’re already one step ahead of him. You hiss menacingly at the dudebro, raising your long acrylic nails in a show of dominance like you’re from some wildlife documentary. The guy audibly whines, running away from the two of you with his tail between his legs.

Jungkook stares at you incredulously. “How the fuck did you––”

“I’ve gone to tango classes with that dude. I have his mom’s phone number,” you explain nonchalantly. Instantly, Jungkook feels himself hardening in his pants.

You manage to get to where the washroom stalls are. You brazenly walk past the line of girls at the women’s section, but Jungkook is even more confused when you also pass by the men’s section. You turn the corner, where a bunch of tables and chairs were being kept. Then, you begin to knock down some of the extra chairs stacked against the wall, which is where Jungkook discovers there is an unused wheelchair accessible washroom.

“Why is this washroom being kept hidden?” he wonders aloud, sneaking guilty looks over his shoulder. No one seems to have noticed that the two of you are blatantly trespassing property, but you don’t look all that stressed about it.

You look at him weirdly. “Dude. You can barely walk in this club without getting groped, poked, or doped. As much as I’m all for accessibility, I don’t think wheelchair-bound people are gonna have much of a good time here.”

Jungkook feels as though he should be saying something profound about the need for establishments to be accessible or something, but the strain in his pants really wasn’t doing many wonders on his verbosity right now. Maybe next time.

You make quick work of the barricade and you get the door open in no time. You push him hastily inside, making him yelp as he tries to find his way around the darkened room. You flip the switch on somewhere behind him, illuminating the washroom to find… a toilet. That’s it.

“Well, they certainly didn’t think about interior decorating,” Jungkook says, laughing nervously as you click the door locked. He turns, watching as you pull the black elastic that was on your wrist and begin to tie your hair. You smile cheekily at him, the implications of what is about to happen very much apparent.

“Nah, they didn’t. But the room gets the job done and that’s all we want, don’t we?” You purr, taking the two short steps you need to get close to him once more. You trail a well-manicured nail down his chest, circling around his nipple teasingly but not doing anything more. His breathing turns more shallow, and he knows for sure that his eyes must look crazed to you right now.

You bring your finger lower and lower, grazing the top of his belt buckle and staying there. You look up at him, licking your lips as your gaze trails down to his own. Once again, he feels paralyzed as you take him in and he wishes for all the horny gods from above that you would finally end the torture and finally close the distance.

Taking some pity on him, you rest your lips against his throat, suckling gently enough that Jungkook knows it won’t leave a mark. His hands instantly come up to grab your waist, as if urging you to go harder, to make it hurt.

You smirk against his skin, deciding at that moment to bite down, hard. Jungkook yelps, before the sound morphs into an unabashed moan. His cheeks pinken, embarrassed at the volume of his voice.

“I-I…”

“Don’t worry, Jungkook…” you whisper, soothing the bite with your tongue. You pop off his skin, your lips slightly redder than before. “I’ll take good care of you, darling.”

See, Jungkook doesn’t doubt you in the slightest. As for his own skills at taking care of you when the time comes… now that’s a little bit of a gamble.

Jungkook isn’t a virgin, per se… He lost his virginity during his last year of high school to some girl he met at a party, and suffice to say, he didn’t last long. He’s had a few girlfriends in the past, but none of them ever wanted to get with him once they saw his dick. You see, he had a bit of a problem…

He wasn’t small, by the way. Don’t get him wrong. In fact, he was kinda––

Jungkook is pulled away from his thoughts when you suddenly drop down to your knees, your hands grabbing onto his thighs for support. He’s almost worried that you’d injured yourself from how fast you’d dropped, but you don’t seem all that bothered by how deftly your fingers moved to unbuckle his belt.

When you get it loosened, your hands stop by the button of his jeans and you look up at him with expectation. Jungkook almost whines when your hands drift back to your lap.

You snort, amused. “What? You think I’m gonna do all the work here, buddy? Come on, strip for me.” you say, sitting on your haunches as you wait for him to move.

The strain in his pants was getting downright painful at this point, so Jungkook is more than eager to follow your orders. Still, his hands are shaking the entire time, so it takes him a few extra seconds before he can finally unbutton his stupid jeans and pull down his stupid zipper. Even through his loose boxers, the outline of his dick is very apparent, with a small wet spot already staining the front of his boxers a darker blue.

“Uh, I have to say a disclaimer first though,” Jungkook squeaks, suddenly shy under the intense gaze you were pointing straight at his dick. It twitches slightly, and your eyes follow it like a cat ready to pounce. “I’m… kinda on the bigger side, so I just want to ask if you’re sure––”

“Baby, I was sure even before I came to this club,” you say, trance-like. Your fists clench and unclench by your sides. “Now, shut up before I change my mind.”

“But––” Jungkook doesn’t get to finish his sentence, stunned to silence when you quite literally rip his boxers off of him like a magician trying to prove something. His dick springs up half-way, still not fully hard as it’s always taken him a little bit more goading before he can get to full mast. Yea, he was that big.

You stare at it for a moment, going cross-eyed as you stared at his tip head-on like some sort of perverse gun barrel. You don’t move for so long that Jungkook is afraid that he might have freaked you out with the size of his cock, though you wouldn’t be the first in a long shot. He’s about to apologize, prepared to pull up his pants in shame and walk home with half a log in his crotch. He’s already shifting his jeans back up when you place a hand on his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

“Wait. Are you, like, only half-hard right now?” you ask, voice quiet.

Jungkook flushes. “Y-yeah… It gets a little bit bigger when I’m fully… You know…” he says, trailing off.

You’re still looking at his dick, but after further assessment, Jungkook realizes that you don’t look horrified in the slightest. In fact, you look pleased. “Jesus fuck you’re huge! Like… almost abnormally so.”

Jungkook literally feels like he’s going to die (and he hates that it’s kinda making him even hornier). “I guess so?”

“That’s a fucking log! You could stand on that thing!”

“I don’t think that’s possible, but––”

“Seokjin had told me you were huge, but I didn’t believe him because, well, the way he described it was that you had a literal third leg hiding under there. Who would have thought that Seokjin isn’t full of shit after all,” you say, awestruck.

“I’m really not that big––wait, Seokjin has talked to you about my dick? What the fuck? Since WHEN?” Seokjin was just out there in the world? Telling strangers about his dick? That hyung is seriously getting smashed WWE style the next time he sees him, and it’s NOT going to be sexy.

You wave him off. “Oh, don’t worry. He doesn’t just tell anyone. He let it slip because he was defending your honor,” you shrug.

In the midst of Jungkook’s mental breakdown at the realization that one of his closest friends just told a random girl that he’s got a meter long King Kong dong, he doesn’t notice that you’ve already stood up from where you were kneeling. You pull down the toilet seat cover, seating yourself on it and rubbing your reddened knees with a pout. “Ouch. Damn, I’m not used to kneeling for men anymore. Sorry, where was I? Oh right!”

You snap your fingers together, smiling gleefully at Jungkook. “So! I dragged you in here to give you my proposition, you see. I have a deal to make with you.”

Jungkook looks down at his cock, which was still red and dripping pre-cum, before turning back to you. “And this has something to do with… my dick?”

“Precisely!” you cheer, glad that he seems to be on the same page as you when he was in fact, not. “Sorry about tricking you, by the way. I’ll suck your dick after this if you’re still game, but only if you agree with my plan.”

“Your plan?”

“Yep,” you say, popping your ‘p’ once more. “You see, I have an ex-boyfriend. His name is Lee Taeyong, ever heard of him?”

Jungkook vaguely knows the upperclassman, though he can’t say he’s ever spoken to him. “Kinda. What does he have to do with me?”

“Well, if you really heard of him, then you’d already be one step ahead. Seeing as how it’s not already connecting for you––” you point to his dick, poking the sensitive head with the grace of a 5-year old at a petting zoo, “––then you don’t know that Lee Taeyong has the biggest dick on campus. Allegedly.”

“Allegedly,” Jungkook repeats. He still doesn’t follow.

“Well, I wouldn’t know either because I’ve never seen his dick, so––”

“Wait wait wait. Wait.” Jungkook’s hamster brain is running a mile a minute. There have been way too many absurdities spoken in the last five minutes and he doesn’t think he’s drunk enough to deal with your insanity right now. “Let’s dissect this one at a time, shall we? First of all, how can you not know how big your boyfriend’s dick is?”

“My ex-boyfriend. And we only dated for like three days, and I don’t fuck until a week has passed, okay? I don’t play like that,” you say as if you didn’t just lure Jungkook to this dingy washroom only to give him blue balls and trauma.

“Okay, whatever. So what if he has a big dick? What does that have to do with me?”

You roll your eyes. “How can you not understand yet? I’m on the hunt for our university’s biggest dick, of course! And you, Jungkook, might just be my ticket to the number one prize.”

There is a long pause. Jungkook stares and stares at you, waiting for you to shout “Surprise! You’re being pranked, bro!” and for all the cameramen to come out and shower him in confetti and dollar bills or something. But no, nothing like that happened. He just continues to stand there with his dick out, while you sit on a dingy toilet seat with your legs crossed comfortably as if you were just two friends having a regular conversation.

After a while, Jungkook comes to a conclusion. “You’re being serious.”

You snort, annoyed as if you were the one being inconvenienced. “Of course I am, dude. I don’t stalk just about anybody to see their dick. I’m not that insane.”

Jungkook feels as though your judgment on sanity should probably be taken with a grain of salt. “S-sure. Right. You’re definitely not insane.”

“And you have a big dick! I’m glad you can see where I’m coming from,” you say, nodding sagely. You peer at his dick once more, brows furrowed as you think deeply to yourself. “Hmm… Yea, I’d say you’d be at least equally as big as him. If all else fails, I can split the winnings and get half the amount of money if you––”

“No,” Jungkook says.

You raise your brow. “Yes?” you try.

“Yes–I mean, what? No!” Jungkook repeats, shaking his head furiously. "Are you even hearing yourself? You expect me to get into a dick measuring contest with your ex just so you can, what? Get revenge on him or something?"

"Not for revenge." You lean closer to him, face inches away from his dick but you don't seem perturbed in the slightest. "It's for money," you whisper, grinning slyly.

"Money," Jungkook repeats.

You clap your hands excitedly. "Exactly! So Taeyong and I didn't actually break up on bad terms. We only got together to make Doyoung, his crush, jealous enough to confess his feelings. But now, that dumb bitch thinks that now that he's with Taeyong, he can make fun of me for not being able to handle Taeyong's dark horse cock––"

"Can you please stop talking like an insane person," Jungkook pleads. His comment remains unheard.

"––so we made a bet that Taeyong doesn't actually have the biggest dick on campus and that I'm dating a guy with an even bigger meat thermometer than he does," you finish, snapping your fingers with a flourish. There's a twinkle in your eye: it's misplaced excitement coupled with extreme insanity, Jungkook realizes.

"That's good and all, but there's just one problem."

"What?" You tilt your head, confused.

"We're not exactly dating, are we?"

"Details, details... What Doyoung and Taeyong don't know won't hurt them," you say, shrugging your shoulders.

Jungkook rolls his eyes. "Of course," he says, leaning against the grimy bathroom wall. He goes to tuck Jungkook Jr. back into his pants, his dick finally softening after the last ten minutes of psychological torture courtesy of yours truly, but you're quick to slap his hand away, making him yelp in surprise.

"No! I like looking at it," you say. You stare at his dick with rapt fascination. "It's kinda like looking at a weird, deformed baby leg. Beautiful, but haunting all at once."

Jungkook huffs, staring at you in equal parts disbelief and awe. If he thought Seokjin was mentally unhinged, then you're definitely on your way towards uncharted psychotic territory. It was kind of amazing how you could just say shit without any brain to mouth filter, in your own twisted way. "Listen, lady. I don't even fucking know what your name is, but I am not helping you win some stupid bet and showing my dick to even more strangers than I have to, okay?"

You consider him, lips pursing slightly. "Why, do you have any other plans this weekend?"

Jungkook falters. "I... No, I don't––"

You shrug your shoulders, as if that's the end of that problem. "Then it's settled! I don't see why you can't just do this out of the goodness of your heart?"

"For the last time, I won't do it even if––"

"I'll split the prize with you? 50/50? That's $1000 for having a huge dick! Every incel's wet dream!"

Jungkook pauses in his rant, choking on his spit. His jaw drops comically, unsure if he heard you right. "Did you say one... grand?"

Hook, line, and sinker. You know you caught him the moment his eyes bugged out of their sockets. You smirk, crossing your arms triumphantly as you gaze upon his desperate and broke college ass (and dick). “So? Having second thoughts?"

Jungkook is quiet for a moment. He opens his mouth, then closes it. He tries to wrap his head around the number, unsure if he should be worried about how ready he is to drop his pants for money. Have I completely lost it? Am I that much of an idiot? he wonders, but then again… He’d be an even bigger idiot for letting free money go down the drain.

“Where is this money even coming from?” he asks, even though he knows his guard is already dropping quickly.

You wave your hand flippantly. “Oh, Doyoung is filthy rich. I imagine that $2000 is nothing to him,” you say, picking at a hangnail. “It’s not much money to me either, but my pride is mostly at stake here. If you want, you could take all the money as a prize, so long as you make that bitch eat his heart out.”

Jungkook feels his dick twitch and he knows that you notice. “Two… thousand…” He accidentally moans, gripping his thighs to prevent himself from nutting. “That’s…”

You tilt your head, arching a brow. “Not enough? I could put in an extra $500 if you’re really against this whole thing. To be fair, I wouldn’t wanna expose my coochie to a random person either––”

“Two thousand five hundred? Are you fucking insane?” Jungkook exclaims, voice cracking at the end. He clears his throat, but it still feels like his lungs are on fire.

“Okay, three grand it is but I’m not going any higher than that,” you huff, shaking your head. “Mr. Jeon, you really do drive a hard bargain, though I always notice that well-endowed men tend to think they deserve the universe, so I’m not surprised.” You chuckle to yourself, as if anything about this situation is worth laughing at. Jungkook feels like that one time he had inhaled an entire helium balloon in one breath when he was younger: kinda nauseous but also kinda euphoric. Is it bad that his dick is stirring awake right now? Hello?

You put your hand out, looking at him expectantly. “Well? Do we have a deal or not?”

Jungkook takes a deep breath and accesses his options carefully. Does he:

Give up his low self-esteem for money and enter an actual dick-measuring contest with some stranger;

There is no other option. Jungkook wants money.

He exhales, a migraine already throbbing incessantly in the back of his skull. He thrusts his hand forward, gripping yours harshly in a firm handshake. “I’m in,” he says, without missing a beat. Your smile brings a shiver down his back, and he can’t help but wonder if this is what Judas felt like when he betrayed Jesus, except he’s betraying no one but his own self-worth.

Well, he always did wonder how much his life was worth and three grand doesn’t seem like that big of a stretch. Oh well.

“Nice,” you chuckle, seemingly vibrating from excitement. You slip behind him, grabbing his phone from the back pocket of his jeans (which were still, by the way, pooled around his thighs because his dick was still out. Just to remind you guys in case you forgot. OP doesn’t want you to ever forget about it.) You flick open his phone, cackling maniacally when you realize he doesn’t even have a password on.

Jungkook squawks. “Hey, what are you––”

“I’m saving my number on your phone,” you explain. He can barely see what you were typing into his phone contacts, but he doesn’t miss the way you attach a heart emoji beside your name. You open his texts, sending yourself an octopus emoji that just so happened to be Jungkook’s most frequently used emoji. You snort. “Octopus emoji, huh? Seems appropriate… Can’t help but think it was a sign that this might have been destiny.”

“I just like takoyaki…” Jungkook defends himself sulkily.

“Yea? Well I like cock,” you say. You pause, furrowing your brows. “Oh, I meant to say chicken. Same thing.”

You hand back his phone, grabbing your small purse that you had thrown aside onto the washroom floor. You straighten your dress, looking to all the world as if you hadn’t just offered a stranger three grand to show his dick. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Jungkook. I expect to see you soon, maybe this weekend if you’re free. I’ll text you the details of when we’ll meet next. Toodles!” you wave, sending him a flying kiss for extra measure. Jungkook’s eye twitches, and he wonders not for the first time tonight if he was trapped in a coma and was slowly passing away.

Just as you are about to head out the door, you stop in your tracks, turning back to face him. You give him a curious expression, gaze dragging downwards until you were staring down the barrel of his dick once more. “Hey, sorry about leaving you hanging like that, by the way. I would love to help you finish, but I have a ride to catch. Raincheck?”

Not waiting for an answer, you saunter away with a spring in your step. The door swings back closed, leaving Jungkook alone for the first time in what feels like forever: just him, his dick, and the promise of three thousand dollars on the horizon.

“I’m so fucking stupid,” Jungkook groans, sliding down to the floor. He fists his cock in his hand, groaning loudly when he feels the pleasure jolt up his spine like electricity. As he listens to the sounds of his heavy breathing and the slick mess in his hands, he can’t help but wonder if Jimin was right… Maybe he did have a thing for insane hot girls who were out to kill him.

x x x x x

After Jungkook cleans himself up, he marches out of the washroom with as much dignity as he can muster. Which is to say that he walked out of there with his head bowed in shame, meekly navigating the crowded club in search of his friends.

It isn’t hard, considering that Jimin was currently hanging on the fucking ceiling from a disco ball. A group of men stand at the bottom, all of them eagerly eyeing his fat ass as Jimin dangerously humped the shiny ball of metal like his life depended on it.

“Okaaaay guys! The moment this disco ball drops, whoever catches me first gets to fuck me tonight so try your best to grab me~!” Jimin singsongs from his perch, howling madly as all the horny motherfuckers scramble all over each other, desperate to catch him lest he meets his maker.

“I. Hate. My. Life.” Jungkook sighs, striding past the group of men easily with his superior upper body strength. “Move, incels. This twink isn’t letting any of you simps touch his ass. He just likes the attention.”

“Aww, Jungkookie! Don’t ruin my fun~! Unless you wanna catch me and we can finally fu––” Jimin screams mid-sentence, just as the cord holding him and the disco ball snaps. All the guys step over themselves to catch him, but Jungkook is stronger and faster. He catches Jimin mid-air, snatching him in an instant and hoisting him over his shoulder. Everyone cheers and hollers, clapping for him as Jimin continues to giggle hysterically into his back.

“Yay! Jungkookie is gonna fuck meeeee,” Jimin pats him on the ass, but Jungkook ignores him. He goes around the club, searching for the rest of his friends until he has five dangling bodies hanging off his body like some six-headed freak.

Well, it’s soon going to be five-headed after he beheads Seokjin, whom Jungkook is certain just vomited all over the back of his jeans.

“I can’t fucking find Yoongi-hyung.” Jungkook grits his teeth, his nose assaulted by the stench of Namjoon’s armpit as the elder contorts himself into a more comfortable position. “Stop fucking moving, you long-legged bastard. Why’d you have to be born with such good body proportions?”

“And why are you so hot, Jungkook?” Taehyung swoons from somewhere underneath Hoseok, who seems to be either passed out or dead; Jungkook didn’t pause to check for a pulse.

“Pretty sure Yoongi went home,” Seokjin slurs, a second wave of nausea hitting him as he struggles to keep the alcohol inside of him a bit longer. “Ugh… Said he saw his roommate and they went home together.”

“God, it better be his fucking roommate and not another person trying to sell his organs again.” Jungkook sighs. “Either way, we’re all going home. We’ve done enough damage for tonight.”

“Jungkookie, did you have any fun at all tonight? Didn’t see you around,” Namjoon quips, managing to wriggle out of Jungkook’s grip and fall face flat on the curb. He whines pathetically, not making a move to stand up again. “Ugh. I didn’t even drink a lot tonight so why...?”

“It’s because you’re Namjoon,” Jungkook supplies helpfully. He lets the rest of his friends down, making sure they are leaning against the wall for support (or sitting against the wall in Hoseok’s case). “Alright, I’m calling cabs. Seokjin-hyung, I’m staying over at your place tonight.”

Jimin, who was already slowly falling asleep where he stands, perks up in attention at that. “Wait, you’re coming home with me and Seokjin? Are we reaaaally gonna fuck?” Jimin tries to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively, but to Jungkook, it just looks like he’s having a stroke.

“I’m done nutting for tonight. We are sleeping once we get home and that’s it,” Jungkook snorts, crossing his arms.

“OOOOOOOH? JUNGKOOK GOT FUCKED AT THE CLUB!”

“GET IT BOY!”

“OH SHIT HE FINALLY USED HIS PURPLE-HEADED YOGURT FINGER!”

“DAMN DUDE? DAMN? DAMN?”

“AW, YOU FUCKED SOMEONE WITHOUT ME?”

Jungkook swears he had heard Hoseok speak amidst the yelling from his friends, but his hyung still remains mysteriously hunched over and dead to the world. “None of your businesses. Anyway, a cab is coming soon and I swear to God, if any of you piss or vomit in that poor man’s vehicle, I will make sure none of you live to see the light of day, okay?”

Jimin turns to Taehyung, who just happened to be beside him. “Not gonna lie, but I kinda jizzed in my pants just now. That was kinda hot.” Taehyung only nods in agreement.

An hour and thirty minutes later, Jungkook manages to get the last of his idiot friends home, leaving only him, Seokjin, and Jimin as they tiredly trudge up the steps to the apartment. It takes an additional twenty minutes for Seokjin to figure out where he’d left his keys, only for Jimin to raise his finger for them to wait as he hid behind some bushes while unbuckling his jeans. When he comes out of the bushes, pantless, he has a key raised with a victorious smirk on his face.

“Don’t ask where I keep this,” is all he says and Jungkook is glad that he had rejected Seokjin’s offer to permanently move in as their roommate.

They all stumble into the apartment, with Seokjin falling immediately onto the couch. He curls up into a little ball, snoring the moment his eyes shut. Jungkook wants to shake him awake, eager to interrogate him about what happened between you and him just a few hours ago at the club. Even if he wanted to wake him up, Jungkook is sure nothing can rouse the elder; this fact is confirmed when Jungkook dumps water on him, only for Seokjin to keep sleeping soundly like a baby.

“Well, hyung is dead. Guess it’s time for me to die too,” Jimin says sleepily, the horniness and insanity from the club already wearing off. He pats Jungkook gently on the head, pointing towards Seokjin’s room. “Sleep there. I’ll hand you an extra blanket because I wouldn’t trust that hyung’s sheets. Let’s sleep, yeah?”

Left with no other choice, Jungkook heads to Seokjin’s bedroom, jumping onto the unmade sheets and pretending not to notice the crusty unknown substance on the corner of the bed. He can’t fall asleep, not when he’s left haunted by the weight on his chest (and dick). Jungkook fiddles with his phone, staring wide-eyed at the name displayed tauntingly on his screen.

Y/N L/N.

He was gonna have a nightmare tonight, that’s for sure.

x x x x x

Jungkook wakes up early, much to his chagrin. He’d really like to stay dead to the world for much longer, but the smell of coffee brewing and bacon cooking is kind of a hard deal to pass up. Jungkook shifts in bed, cringing when he realizes he went to sleep in his jeans, and more importantly, that his pants felt a lot stickier than he remembered.

He lifts the blanket up, confirming his suspicions. “Fuck!”

Well, guess he didn’t have much of a nightmare last night after all.

He shucks off his clothes, disgusted by the mess he finds in his underwear. He hobbles over to Seokjin’s closet, cringing when he finds only one (1) clean pair of shorts left, which just so happened to have “PEE IS STORED IN THE BALLS” stamped on the back in cursive font. Beggars can’t be choosers, he supposes.

Jungkook tiptoes out of the bedroom, confronted with the sight of Jimin pouring three mugs of coffee and Seokjin still slumped over the couch, a substantial amount of drool dripping down from the side of his mouth and forming a puddle on the floor. Jungkook takes a photo, saving it for later.

“Morning,” Jimin smiles from the kitchen, offering Jungkook one of the cups. Jungkook is certain that Jimin has no recollection of the events from last night, though such is Park Jimin’s way of life. He drinks to get fucked up, then he forgets, and then the cycle repeats itself anew. Jungkook wonders how Jimin always manages to wake up without a hangover, though God might have just given him a super liver in compensation for his lack of height.

“Hyung is still dead,” Jungkook states plainly, walking over to Seokjin and peering at him closely. Jungkook sticks a finger into his agape mouth, collects some of his spit, and then proceeds to give him the wettest willy of his life. Still no response.

“Let me try,” Jimin says, sauntering over to Seokjin with one of the cups of coffee. Jimin leans down, hums gently into his ear. “Hyung, wake up. We have coffee for you!”

Seokjin mumbles incomprehensibly in his sleep, snuggling deeper into the couch stuffing. Jimin tilts his head, still smiling. Then, he dumps the scalding cup of coffee all over Seokjin’s crotch.

In an instant, Seokjin screams with the pitch of a banshee, swinging his arms wildly about and nearly knocking himself out with his own fist. Jungkook and Jimin watch passively from the sidelines, waiting for the elder to finish fanning his nutsack before greeting him a pleasant morning.

“WHY ARE YOU BOTH LITERAL DEMONS?” Seokjin hollers, jumping to his feet with his scorched balls and all. Taking pity on him, Jungkook walks over to the fridge, tossing his hyung a bag of ice. And by toss, it’s more like he pitches the bag straight into his dick with the ease and speed of a seasoned baseball player, eliciting another round of pained howls.

“YOU––ASS––” Seokjin seethes, clutching the bag of ice to his nether regions. He sits down on the adjacent loveseat, expression contorting as he cups his balls gingerly. “God, it’s almost like you guys don’t think I deserve basic human decency.”

“That was just a small part of my revenge for you, after you gave my contact details to an insane woman,” Jungkook sneers, miming a punch onto Seokjin’s handsome face. Seokjin doesn’t even flinch, too busy staring at Jungkook’s legs.

“Hey, are you wearing my thot shorts?”

Jungkook looks down at the neon pink monstrosity around his hips. “You call these your thot shorts?”

Seokjin shrugs. “I got dicked down in them once. You should try.”

“Oh, did I hear something about revenge? I smell tea in here,” Jimin says, coming back from the kitchen with his own cup. “Well, I have coffee but same shit. What happened?”

“This––” Jungkook points an accusatory finger at Seokjin, “––asshole sent my location information to an insane stalker lady last night after he told her that I had a huge dick!”

Seokjin squints at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Y/N! She said you told her about how big my dick was and when she asked you where I was, you told her I was going to the club with you last night!”

“Oh.” Realization dawns on Seokjin’s face, which was quickly replaced by incredulity as he stares at Jungkook. “I assumed she asked for your contact details because she had a crush on you. I was just trying to get you some pussy, bro.”

“Yeah, Kook. Not gonna lie, but I’d be dicking down girls left and right if I had a dick as big as yours,” Jimin says, eyeing the bulge in his teeny tiny shorts with interest. “In fact, I’d probably be a top if I had a dick as big as yours.”

Seokjin laughs, nearly shooting out phlegm from the strength of it. “Oh god, don’t tell me. You couldn’t get your dick hard again? Don’t worry bro, if I had a dick as big as yours, it’d take ages for it to fill up too.”

Jungkook flushes, stomping his foot in embarrassment. “That! Wasn’t the problem! The problem is––”

“––that Jungkook nuts too quickly because he doesn’t have any practice,” Jimin tuts sadly, patting the younger with a pitiful expression. “Don’t worry, Kook. Hyung is open to giving you some pointers.”

“That’s not it either!” Jungkook screams, groaning in annoyance. “She came up to me because she offered to pay me $3000 to enter a dick-measuring contest!”

Jimin and Seokjin tilt their heads in tandem, still not getting it. “So?” they both chorus, giving him a blank-eyed stare.

“Are you guys out of your mind? I got bribed into showing my dick to some strangers like some kind of weird prostitute!”

“It’s not prostitution if you’re not engaging in sexual activity,” Jimin muses, taking a long sip from his coffee. He shrugs his shoulders. “Honestly, I don’t see how this is a problem. You show some girls your dick, and you get money. Dudes would kill to be in your position.”

“Oh my God, don’t tell me,” Seokjin leers at Jungkook, and the younger almost can’t stop himself from landing another blow against the elder’s abused crotch. “You got roped into some bukkake orgy and now you’re asking your hyungs to help you? Don’t worry, Jungoo… You came to the right people. You see, Jimin and I have some experience with––”

“LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” Jungkook jams his fingers into his own ears, screaming hysterically to drown out the sounds of Seokjin and Jimin’s combined laughter. Jungkook pouts at them, glowering pathetically. “Seriously, hyungs! Do you not see how fucked up this is? Who follows a stranger to a club, pretends they’re going to give you a blowjob, only to offer 3K for you to show some strangers your dick?”

“A regular Friday night if you ask me,” Jimin says, shrugging once more. Jungkook stares at him, realizing that maybe it was the wrong idea being friends with these two lunatics in the first place. Knowing Jimin, he’d probably been in much more lewd and compromising situations than Jungkook will ever have. Rumor has it that Jimin had once done a keg stand while having his dick sucked while on vacation in Japan.  

“Well, if you were really against it, then you could have just said no?” Seokjin points out, wagging a finger at him. “I know Y/N, and yeah she’s kind of demented, but she still knows that no means no. Surely, you haven’t considered the fact that you are 1) a pushover and 2) horny for her?”

“Well, yea––No, what––No!” Jungkook splutters, stammering wildly. His two hyungs grin salaciously, gazing at him knowingly. Jungkook can only groan, as he knows that they kind of have a point. He’s always been too weak for girls and money, so when you put those two things together…

“I might be addicted to the BBC tag on Pornhub, but you my friend… You’re in it for the BBCC,” Jimin snickers, patting Jungkook comfortingly on the back. Jungkook groans into his hands, slumping onto the loveseat beside Seokjin, whose icepack had long since melted and caused the seat to be uncomfortably damp.

“BBCC? I’m almost too afraid to ask.”

“Big black credit card,” Seokjin pipes up, wrapping his own arm around Jungkook’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, bud. We all have been there.”

That’s the problem: somehow, Jungkook finds himself much too ready to accept his fate, eagerly awaiting when you’ll text him next.

x x x x x

After a much-needed shower at Jimin and Seokjin’s place, Jungkook tiredly makes his way to the nearby bus stop, ready to go home and sleep the entire weekend away. Screw his Biochemistry midterm on Monday––if he really is going to whore himself out to you, then he’s going to need all the self-care and therapy that he can get. His phone itches in the pocket of his shorts (yes, he’s still wearing the thot shorts), and he wonders if he should text his therapist and ask for an extra appointment later in the day.

Just as he’s about to pull out his phone, he senses it vibrate once, twice. He freezes in his steps, walking out of the way of busy pedestrians on the sidewalk and into a random clothing store. He sees the lone cashier staring at him from the corner of his eye, but he does not check if her gaze is filled with disgust or disgust. Probably disgust, he surmises.

Flicking his phone on, he sees two new messages from you and his heart immediately starts to hammer in his chest. No one has ever made Jungkook equal parts scared and excited, though he imagines you might have that effect on most people, what with how you look like the type to tie up unsuspecting victims to harvest their organs in your summer cottage up in the mountains or something. Or maybe that’s just Jungkook projecting.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ hey! sorry for taking so long to text you. my roommate tried to make cheesecake at 3am last night and i had to supervise in case he burned down the apartment.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ anyway, i was wondering if you were free later? some time after 5 maybe? let me know!

You already want to meet so soon. Jungkook exhales heavily through his nostrils, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself. Alright, this is fine. Jungkook is a big boy: he can handle going to a girl’s home without losing his mind. You didn’t say anything about this being the actual dick-measuring contest yet, so he can only assume this is just you asking for something else. Maybe to talk more? Maybe he’ll get a down payment for the prize money? Maybe you’ll follow through on your raincheck? God, is it wrong for him to have his dick plumping up in his shorts when you haven’t even done anything to him yet?

(On the contrary, you could say that you have done a lot for him over the past twenty four hours, though maybe not in the way most people would expect.)

from: jjk yeah i can meet you at 5. what’s this for?

from: y/n l/n ❣️ oh, nothing! i just wanted to talk to you about the actual competition and stuff. plus, i want to actually measure your dick, just so i can see how much you’re actually packing down there ;)

from: jjk ….yeah, fine. whatever.

(This really isn’t a “whatever” type of situation, but honestly, Jungkook doesn’t really know what to say anymore. He’s officially lost his singular brain wrinkle. He’s smooth brain McGee over here.)

You follow up by sharing your location with him, and he’s surprised to find that you aren’t that far away from where Jungkook was right now. He really did mean to go back to his apartment first and get changed into something more… morally acceptable, but since he hasn’t been arrested yet for public decency, he should be okay with going to your place in Seokjin’s thot shorts.

There’s something invigorating about going to your place, dressed the way he is… Maybe the shorts are somehow giving him brain hemorrhage by indirect association with Seokjin. Either that or Jungkook simply loves torturing himself by embarrassing himself constantly. Well, at least he showered and combed his hair before leaving his hyungs’ place.

He inputs your address into his phone map, taking his sweet time as he walks the short distance to your apartment. As he passes by the buildings and street corners, he can’t help but think that he might have been around this area before. He tries to rack his brain, forcing himself to remember why this route seems so familiar.

“Oh right. Yoongi-hyung’s new apartment should be around here,” he muses to himself. He wonders if his hyung had gotten home safely last night. He should probably text him to make sure, but he’s got a literal dick appointment to attend to first, so he’ll remember to check up on Yoongi once he finishes up with you.

Does that make him a shitty friend? Probably. But would Yoongi do the same if Jungkook was in his shoes? Probably.

Yeah, Jungkook and his group of friends aren’t exactly role models for a sensitive and loving relationship, though that’s not much of a surprise to anyone.

He arrives at a decent looking apartment complex, complete with its own little water fountain at the entrance. He walks through the automatic sliding doors, peers at the shiny caution tape barring him from using the elevator. He stares at your address on his phone, groaning loudly when he sees “1603” much to his annoyance.

“No wonder she had such great thighs,” Jungkook mutters angrily to himself, preparing himself for the long and arduous journey his glutes are going to endure.

Years later, Jungkook finds himself at your door, his lungs jumping out of his throat as he struggles to catch his breath. He hunches over, elbows digging into his thighs as he wipes the sweat trailing down his neck. He can see your door just near the end of the hall, but just as he’s about to crawl his way over––

“Oh. Oh my,” a familiar voice says from behind him, and Jungkook looks over his shoulder to see…

“Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook exclaims incredulously, mouth gaping at the sight of his thought-to-be-dead hyung coming out of the elevator. He splutters for a few more moments before pointing an accusing finger at Yoongi. “You used the elevator?”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow, turning to look at the elevator with a thoughtful look. “Oh right. The elevator works. The maintenance people just forgot to remove the safety tape from last week.” Yoongi looks back at Jungkook, gaze lowering to his legs. “I see that Seokjin has provided you with his thot shorts.”

Jungkook doesn’t even try to cover himself, used to his friends seeing him in varying degrees of undress. Like, what was Yoongi going to do? Take a photo of him and post it to his Twitter for his thousands of followers to see? He wasn’t that cruel...

Snap! Yoongi pockets his phone quickly, clearing his throat. “So,” Yoongi walks up closer to him, peering at Jungkook curiously. “What brings you to my apartment? Not that I’m happy to see you, but I assumed you and the rest of our idiotic gang would have died of alcohol poisoning the night before.”

“...It’s a long story,” Jungkook says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Say... Where did you go last night, by the way? I tried to look for you, but Seokjin said your roommate brought you home?”

“Yeah. She went to the club with a bunch of her friends. She offered me a ride with her because she knew how much I hated it there,” Yoongi says, frowning. “Fuck you, by the way.”

“What the fuck? What the hell did I do?”

“I don’t know. You’re wearing Seokjin’s shorts and my ape brain told me to retaliate out of instinct,” he explains. He takes another long, good glance at his shorts. “Color me surprised that they fit you, by the way. I’d assume your huge ass would be making it rip the seams, or perhaps your dick would be saying hello.”

Jungkook pats his junk proudly. “I know, right? Big guy decided to cooperate, for some reason.”

“Will you guys stop yapping it up out in the hall? I’m pretty sure Mrs. Sy can hear you two idiots from the first floor,” a voice from behind Jungkook hisses, causing the two boys to jump up in surprise. Lo and behold, your head is peeking out from behind your door, a perfectly stenciled eyebrow arched in annoyance. “Well? Are you two coming in or what?” You return back to your apartment, assuming that they’d soon follow.

Yoongi looks at Jungkook. “Wait. You know Y/N?”

Jungkook looks at Yoongi. “Wait. You know Y/N?”

Yoongi squints his eyes. “She’s my roommate. She’s a mutual friend of––”

“––Seokjin,” Jungkook finishes. The two of them pause, a metaphorical light bulb glowing above their heads.

“Ah.”

“Ah.”

“I see. The demoness has roped you into some hare-brained scheme, hasn’t she?” Yoongi nods sagely, rubbing his beardless chin. “Can’t say I feel sorry for you since I have to live with the wench.”

Jungkook grimaces. “Man. She’s insane around you too?”

Yoongi shrugs, walking over to your shared apartment. “I’m dating Seokjin, remember? Everyday, I suffer. Everyday, I feel my arm.”

When Jungkook steps into your apartment, he can’t help but be a little surprised. Of course, he shouldn’t have expected to see a medieval torture chamber in the middle of a metropolitan city, but he wouldn’t put it past you to somehow make it happen. Instead, he finds a fairly cozy-looking home, with comfy couches and filled bookshelves, complete with a small balcony that had a few fresh herbs growing in little pots. It looks…

“Yoongi-hyung. You definitely decorated, didn’t you?” Jungkook snorts, fingering the little kitty-patterned throw blanket draped on your couch. It’s soft and expensive, and definitely something only Yoongi would buy. The elder doesn’t even bother looking embarrassed; he just throws Jungkook the middle finger as he walks towards the kitchen.

You come out once more from one of the connecting rooms at the other end of the apartment, presumably your bedroom. You motion for Jungkook to come in. “Yoongi, you’re gonna bake all day, right? Mind if you let Jungkook and I speak alone in my room?”

Yoongi waves his hand disinterestedly. “Whatever. If you guys are gonna be freaky in there, I’m gonna start playing clown music to drown you guys out, alright? And I mean the remix versions with the extra clown honks.”

You roll your eyes. “Yea, yea. We get it. Grandpa needs his special time alone too.”

Jungkook’s heart jumps when you don’t even bother correcting him. Does that mean you guys really were going to do something freaky? Hopefully, Yoongi has learned to differentiate screams of terror from screams of pleasure, though it’s hard to tell if he’d care otherwise.

He follows you into your room and immediately notices the perfectly made bed and the neatly organized desk. Your curtains are drawn close, but the sheerness of it allows the mid-afternoon sun to brighten the room regardless. Your bedroom smells faintly of vanilla and cinnamon, and he notices the small scented candle still smoking from when you’d put it out.

Nothing in the room indicates that he was inside the room of a psychopath, though maybe Namjoon or Taehyung would argue that anyone who makes their bed every day might be a little out of it. Jungkook continues to stand awkwardly by the door, unsure of what to do next except to stare.

You plop onto your bed, giving him an expectant look. “Well? Are you just gonna stand there by the door and have Yoongi see us measure your dick or what?” That gets Jungkook to move. He closes the door, pausing for a second before locking it for good measure. Then, he takes the short two steps that he needs to stand right in front of you.

You crane your neck, appraising him silently as he fidgets from the weirdness of it all. Your gaze trails down and Jungkook is not surprised when you stop to stare at his neon pink shorts. You snort, thumbing the edge of his shorts lightly. Jungkook shivers even though you’re barely touching him and he knows that you notice.

“Trying to get back at me for leaving you with blue balls yesterday?” you muse, letting go of the thin material. Jungkook wants to bring your hand back to his thigh, but he forces himself to keep still.

He looks down. “Not really? But I mean… Is it working?” He can’t help the hopeful lilt in his voice.

You laugh, patting him lightly on the thigh. “No worries, Jungkook. I did promise you a little something last night, right? I admit it was shitty of me to leave you like that, despite what you already might think of me. You probably think I’m just some insane bitch, right?”

Jungkook stares at you. “Do you want me to be honest or...?”

You roll your eyes, but you seem more amused than anything. “Save it. I know I’m weird. But, a promise is a promise…” You trail off, winking at him. “Besides, this works out for the both of us, right? I wanted to measure your dick before we meet up with Taeyong and Doyoung tomorrow, and I can help you blow your rocks right after. Seems like a deal?”

“Is it bad that I’m so ready to have you suck me off that I’m honest to God accepting your offer without any sense of dignity?”

You consider him for a moment. Then, “Nah. I know dudes who would do worse things for three grand and to have their dick sucked. I’d say you’re just doing you.” You place your hands back on his hips, thumbing around the garter of his shorts.

Jungkook groans, not even flinching when you rip his shorts and boxers off in one rough flourish. His soft dick dangles heavily between his thighs. “See, I’m not entirely comforted knowing that you agree with my moral dilemma.”

You clap your hands together, excitement glittering in your expression. “Who cares! Let’s get you all hard and ready, shall we?”

Jungkook squirms under your gaze, getting dick stage fright. “H-hey… This isn’t like porn… I can’t just get hard when I want to, you know? I need… stimulation or some shit.”

You nod, humming thoughtfully. “You’re right… And I remember you said something about taking a long time to get fully hard, right? That’s gonna be a problem indeed.” You lean forward, “So. Tell me, Jungkook. What are your kinks?”

If Jungkook was drinking water, he’s sure he’d be doing a spit take right now. Instead, he just chokes on his own saliva, coughing out his lungs at your sudden inquiry. “M-my kinks? What for?”

“To get you hard, duh.” You leave featherlight grazes around his thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake. It stirs something inside Jungkook, but not enough to do anything yet. You tsk, your brow crumpling as you decide what to do next. “What if I…”

You dig your nails into the meat of his thighs and inadvertently pull him closer. He stumbles forward, his breath knocked out of him despite how little you’d done so far. “W-wait,” he wheezes, shock running down his spine. “I––”

You smirk at him, digging harder until you’re sure to leave white little crescents littered around his thigh. “Aha. I guessed you’d be into that. You liked it when I bit you yesterday, didn’t you?”

Jungkook can’t even answer. He’s trying to keep his breathing steady, squeezing his eyelids shut. He hears you shuffling in front of him, and he soon senses your body press closer to him, alerting him that you have stood up. You wrap your arms around his neck, bending his head down until he can feel your breath fan across his lips.

Are you going to kiss him? But the contact doesn’t come; instead, your hands snake up to his hair, massaging his scalp for a moment before tugging on his roots harshly. It pulls a whine from his lips, the response surprising even himself. “S-shit,” he grits his teeth, urging you to do it again. He opens his eyes slightly, sees you watching him with rapt attention.

You lick your lips, looking at him like a meal ready to be eaten. The heat in his stomach builds, but Jungkook doesn’t have it in him to be embarrassed anymore. He doesn’t really have any more room in his brain anymore other than his unabashedly horny thoughts.

“Pain slut, huh? Somehow, it suits you.” You sound breathy, as if you were the one being pleasured instead. It makes Jungkook’s cock twitch a little, coming to life in front of you as you continue to assault his nerves.

“Do you like pain everywhere?” Your hands leave his head, coming down to the edge of his shirt. It’s a silent request, and Jungkook allows you to lift up his sweater, leaving him completely bare before you. You throw it somewhere to your right, eyes raking him up and down. Something about you still being fully clothed makes Jungkook’s inside light on fire, and it rushes blood down south before he can even understand why.

You chuckle, looking at his hardened nipples with interest. “Pierced? What a naughty boy you are.” You flick him there experimentally, and when Jungkook’s breath hitches, that gives you a go sign to do more. You fiddle around with the rosy bud some more, circling it with the pads of your fingers until Jungkook was a whining mess before you. “Sensitive… What a prize you are, Jungkook.”

Jungkook keens at the praise, even though he knows you didn’t really mean it in a good way. He finds himself wanting to please you: to get himself hard for you, to make you want him like how he wants you. He honestly can’t tell if you’re enjoying this as much as him, other than the way you’re watching him closely like a hawk.

He’s nearly half-hard, his cock jutting against your stomach. You peer down, figuring out your next move as he holds his breath, afraid he might do something wrong. Your fingers move once more, tracing shapes across his stomach and causing the muscles there to contract. He anticipates your next movements, his dick steadily throbbing.

“I suppose the easiest way to get you hard is to touch you here, right?” you murmur lowly. You grip him by the hips all of a sudden, your thumbs placed firmly into his Adonis’ belt. You inch closer and closer to where he wants you the most, and you watch him amusedly as he clamps down on his bottom lip, unwilling to sound desperate so early in the game.

(Was it early though? He’s been thinking about this exact scenario since last night, even plaguing his dreams. Still, it wouldn’t look cool if he just… busted a nut just from having his dick out. Even he knew that was kinda sad.)

Despite his best efforts, perhaps the desperation is apparent on his face because you eventually do take pity on him. You wrap your fingers around his length, not moving just yet. You smile secretly to yourself when you hear Jungkook exhale and swallow audibly, but you’re waiting for something. You look up at him, batting your eyelashes innocently as if you didn’t have his dick in your hands.

“What do good boys say when they want something?” You’re fishing, but your teasing tone breaks Jungkook down enough to release a ragged moan. He places his hands on your shoulder, using you for support as you slowly inch your hand down to the base of his cock.

He can’t keep the whine out of his voice when he says, “P...Please. Move?”

Your grin is wicked. “Of course, baby.”

Yeah, if you keep this up, Jungkook is going to come embarrassingly fast and he doesn’t think you’ll be quite pleased with that.

There is pre-cum leaking at the tip of his cock, dangerously close to pooling over and dripping all over your carpet. You are quick to swipe it off with your thumb, dragging it down his shaft for an easier slide. Jungkook’s abs tense, his teeth clamping on his bottom lip so aggressively that he almost splits it open. His grip on your shoulders tighten, but you don’t mind. You keep stroking him languidly, not going fast enough for Jungkook’s liking, but the concentration on your face is enough to make Jungkook release a stilted moan. It doesn’t take long until the wet squelch of your hand jerking him fills the room, coupled with the sound of Jungkook’s labored breathing.

“You’re really wet,” you chuckle, watching with fascination as your words urge another drop of pre-cum to collect at his tip. “Are you always like this?”

“N-not… Really?” It takes a while for Jungkook’s brain to connect, caught between wanting to keep his eyes shut and wanting to stare at your cute hands trying to wrap around his dick. Your fingers can’t even circle the girth of his cock, the realization almost making Jungkook come there and then.

He’d never been one to be overly confident about his penis size, to be honest. He doesn’t really go around proclaiming it to the world, and his meager body count doesn’t help the fact that most people are unaware of the extent of his package. He isn’t itching to tell people either, but he’s starting to see why people would be envious of having a large dick. The sight of you struggling to pump his cock really makes for a pretty picture.

“Ugh, my arm is getting tired,” you complain after a while, getting frustrated when you realize that Jungkook is almost fully hard, but not quite. “Jeez. Your dick is so huge that it really takes a minute for the fuel tank to fill up, huh?”

“I-I’m sorry?” Jungkook wheezes, nearly crying out when you flick your wrist in just the right manner. Your hand pauses by the head of his dick, squeezing tightly enough not to be painful, much to his disappointment. Jungkook is still too shy to ask for more.

You let go of him all of a sudden, causing a guttural whine to escape Jungkook’s lips. Ignoring him, you nudge him back a few steps, Jungkook complying wordlessly. He’s still confused until you reach over to your bed, grabbing one of your pillows before dropping to your knees. Jungkook’s jaw drops, spluttering incomprehensibly as you cushion your knees with the pillow.

You look up, giggling amusedly. “Reminds you of last night, huh? Not gonna lie, I’ve been itching to have your cock in my mouth, though I’m not even sure if any of it can fit. That’s not gonna stop me from trying.”

Oh God. Oh Geez. Jungkook is going to die, isn’t he? He vaguely remembers his dream from the night before, how your pretty pink lips had stretched over his dick, barely going past his head. He whines pathetically, another string of pre-cum finally dripping down and landing on your thighs.

You hold him by his hips, preventing him from moving as your hot breath fans across his wet head. You lick your lips, taking one glance up at him before giving his tip a quick peck. It’s nothing to write home about, but the way Jungkook’s breath catches is enough to encourage you to do more. You suckle his head a little, suctioning your lips and moaning slightly at the bitter tang. Your eyes flutter shut, tongue swirling nondescript patterns as you greedily engrave his taste into your mind.

The image of you enjoying yourself is enough to get Jungkook fully hard. He feels like he’s on fire, from his flushed cheeks all the way to his groin. He doesn’t know where to put his hands, unsure if you’d allow him to pull on your hair.

You must have noticed his plight, because one of your hands leaves his hips to grasp his own, bringing it to your hair. You pop off his dick for a second, lips already redder than before. Jungkook wishes he could kiss you, but he’s still so unsure. “You can pull my hair, but if you push me down further than I’m willing to go, I’m stopping immediately, okay?” Your voice is authoritative and your gaze is steely, but it only prompts Jungkook to moan in reply.

He nods, nearly getting whiplash from how quickly his head bobs. You smirk, appeased by his obedience. You return to your ministrations, rewarding him by going further down and bobbing your head at a snail’s pace.

Jungkook’s sanity is barely hanging onto a thread. He wants to thrust into your wet mouth, never having felt this sort of pleasure in his life. He’s beginning to understand why Jimin is such a slut, and he wonders why on earth he’s been denying himself things like this. His eyes are half-lidded, but he’s determined to watch you as your masterful tongue brings him to the edge of hysteria.

When Jungkook doesn’t think your mouth can go further down, you surprise him once again. You go lower, and Jungkook feels your throat swallow around him until he nearly screams. Drool pools in the inside of his mouth, as if Jungkook’s body doesn’t know what to do with the pleasure. His legs nearly give out, but your hands keep him mounted.

His toes are curling, thighs trembling. “Fuck,” he whines, unable to stop himself when he thrusts a little into your mouth. “Shit, I didn’t mean to–”

You glance up at him. Your eyes are tearing up, but otherwise you look unperturbed. You flatten your tongue on the underside of his dick, tracing the vein there as you slowly come up for air. You swallow the mix of saliva and pre-cum in your mouth, licking your lips like you’ve just had a 5-star meal. You look absolutely debauched, though Jungkook knows he’s probably not doing much better.

“No gag reflex. It’s fine,” you shrug, as if you’d just told him about the weather. Your voice sounds hoarse, roughened by the assault of his dick on your throat. “Are you close?”

Jungkook doesn’t want to admit it, but– “Yes,” he says. He’s breathing like he’s just run a marathon, sweat dripping down his neck. You observe it drip down his body, as it curves down his neck and to his chest.

“You aren’t coming until I say so, got it?” You warn. He nods, cock twitching in desperation for your mouth to continue what it was doing.

But instead, you reach back to your bed, and Jungkook finally notices the tape measure that you’d left there. Oh right. Jungkook is brought back to reality, suddenly remembering why he’d gone here in the first place.

“This will only take a second, baby,” you whisper lowly, and Jungkook’s conscience is shot out of his head once more. Call him baby one more time, and Jungkook is sure to bust his load. He’s worried he might gain a Pavlovian response to the word; getting hard every time someone so much as utters “baby” for whatever reason.

You unravel the measuring tape, placing the end of it near the base of his member. You drag it over his length, whistling in awe as the number keeps growing and growing. “Shit, you really are huge,” you gasp in amazement, peering closely at the measurement to make sure you aren’t reading it wrong. “Nearly nine inches. Are you insane?”

Jungkook chuckles in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s… nothing?”

You snort, shaking your head at the pure audacity of this boy in front of you. “No need to humblebrag, baby. Unless you want me to degrade you, then stop being coy with me.”

At the word “degrade,” Jungkook’s erection twitches with interest. Of course, you notice. “Oh? You want me to degrade you?”

Jungkook’s face heats up, forever astonished by your brazenness. “N-no! That’s not what I–”

“You want me to call your cock pathetic, huh? Is that what you want?”

Jungkook whines, shifting from foot to foot as he tries to avoid your lustful gaze. “I…”

“Want me to call you names, huh? Took your cock so long to get hard, struggled so much to get it up. What a useless dick that you have…” you trail off, covering your mouth behind your hand to hide your grin.

Jungkook feels like he’s about to fall over. The pressure in between his legs is reaching his breaking point, and Jungkook really doesn’t want to embarrass himself by coming untouched. He has a sinking suspicion you’d enjoy it if he did, however.

Your hand slides back to his crotch, cupping his erection once more. You run your palm along him once, enjoying the way his breath hitches. He’s undeniably close and it fills you with pride knowing that you did this to him. “You’re close.” You say it like a fact.

Jungkook squirms. “Please… Faster… I’m so close, Y/N. Just a lil bit more, please…”

“I love it when you beg,” you laugh, sounding a little mean. “But since you’ve been nice all this time, I’ll let you.”

Your hands speed up, twisting and pulling him in ways that Jungkook isn’t sure are possible. He’s full-on panting like a fucking dog right now, humping shallowly into your hand like he’s lost his mind. He’s so unbelievably close, the heat in his stomach climbing higher and higher until––

“SHIT! Y/N!”

You stop, confused. That shout didn’t sound like Jungkook. You turn to your closed door, ears straining for the sound again. “Yoongi?” you call out. “Did you say something?”

Muffled footsteps come rushing closer. Your doorknob jiggles, but Jungkook had thankfully locked it when he’d come into the room earlier. Yoongi huffs from behind the door, banging loudly on the frame. “Y/N! Help! I fucking dropped the cheesecake!”

“He dropped the cheesecake,” you repeat dully to yourself. You share a look with Jungkook. The banging doesn’t stop.

“Y/N PLEASEEE THE KITCHEN IS A MESS!” Yoongi screams, uncaring of whatever he was interrupting. “YOU OWE ME! I PAID FOR YOUR RENT LAST MONTH SO YOU GOTTA HELP!”

“I hate that bastard,” you sigh, defeated. You let go of Jungkook reluctantly, giving him an apologetic look. Jungkook wants to cry. “I’m… really sorry for leaving you again like this. I…” you hesitate, looking at the door then back to him. “I do kind of owe him, so…”

Jungkook exhales shakily, bending down to the floor to pick his shirt up. He dresses quietly, cheeks burning. Why must you keep torturing him like this? He thinks his balls might explode at this point. “It’s no problem… I’ll just take care of myself at home.”

You peer at him, feeling incredibly guilty. “I have a connecting bathroom. You could use it if you want?”

“That’d be great, thanks.” Jungkook says before hurriedly rushing out of there. He refuses to look at you as he slams the bathroom door shut, breathing slowly through his nostrils in an attempt to calm himself. He waits as he listens for you to leave before his hands scramble back onto his dick, loudly crying out as he tugs himself to completion.

His legs give out from under him as he slides down to the floor, spurts of hot cum flying past his fist. Wave after wave of pleasure tingles down his spine as he slides up and down his cock. After his dick shoots its last droplet of cum, Jungkook slams his head against your bathroom wall. He’s exhausted.

He closes his eyes, thinks about how his life has led him up to this moment. Jizzing in some near stranger’s home while one of his best friends cleans up his fallen cheesecake.

“Jesus fucking Christ I hate it here,” he says. He gets up unsteadily, washing his hands of his mess.

x x x x x

Fully dressed and unsatisfyingly sated, Jungkook exits your bathroom with a flush down his neck. He keeps his eyes averted from you, but not before glaring heatedly at Yoongi as he turns to leave. Yoongi cocks his head to the side, annoyingly unaware of what he had done.

“You okay, dude? You look like a bull ready to pummel me,” Yoongi snickers, bemused by Jungkook’s flared nostrils. “Seriously. You okay?”

You slap Yoongi on the thigh, huffing angrily as you stay squatted on the floor, your other hand busy wiping off the cheesecake from the floor with a paper towel. “Shut up. You’ve done enough shitheadery today.”

Yoongi looks at the mounted clock on your fridge. “It’s only 7PM. My shitheadery doesn’t clock out until 10PM today.”

Rolling his eyes, Jungkook waves his goodbye. “Well. I guess I’ll see you guys,” he murmurs, inching closer to the door. He walks out in silence, no longer bothering to hide his pouting. He takes the elevator down, ruminating on his existence. When he reaches the ground floor, his phone immediately dings with a notification.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ hey. please don’t hate me. i’m really sorry. raincheck?

Jungkook snorts, stopping in his tracks. It’s always just rainchecks with you. He types up a quick response.

from: jjk it’s not your fault. it’s fine.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ you sure? you got off well by yourself at least, right?

from: jjk yeah. don’t worry about it.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ if you’re down… i could help you through the phone? when you get home? :( i just feel really bad. like, genuinely. yoongi is an asshole.

The offer sounds interesting, but sadly, Jungkook is out of juice for the day. He’s got a lot of stamina for many things, but it turns out he’s out of practice when it comes to his own dick.

from: jjk nah it’s fine. thanks though.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ i hope you’re still down for the contest? doyoung texted me while we were busy a while ago and said that they were free tomorrow after 12?

from: jjk no worries. i’ll be there.

from: y/n l/n ❣️ <3 ty you’re the best!! <3

He groans, slapping himself in the face. God, he is so fucking whipped.

x x x x x

The next day, Jungkook wakes up with a burning headache. He feels hungover even though he didn’t drink at all the night before, and Jungkook wonders if his brain had somehow deflated overnight with how hollow he feels. He grabs his phone from his bed stand, sees a new text from you reminding him of what he’d promised.

You had sent him an address to another apartment complex just a few bus stops away from where he lives and he assumes this must be either Doyoung’s or Taeyong’s place. He shuts his eyes for another few moments, trying his best to remember how to live.

It’s already nearing noon, so he needs to get going if he doesn’t want to be late. He shudders to think what you might do if he ghosts you. Despite how guilty you were yesterday for leaving him mid-nut, he doesn’t think that debt will cover him if he chooses not to show up to the dick-measuring contest.

On the bus, he fidgets in his seat, picking at the rips in his jeans and doing anything to keep his mind busy. He keeps thinking that someone knows what he’s up to, paranoia eating him from the inside out as he darts his eyes left and right, hoping no one can actually read minds. The bus is relatively empty, with only him and an elderly couple sitting near the front. They seem none the wiser, though Jungkook fears what they would think if they knew what he was up to.

He almost wishes he was wearing Seokjin’s thot shorts, as the skimpy excuse of clothing had somehow given him some sort of confidence the day before. Gone is that false sense of (misplaced) bravado; instead, Jungkook is filled with anxiety at the prospect of showing a couple of strangers his dick.

(A fairly human response, but that doesn’t help Jungkook’s current case.)

He arrives at the apartment complex in record time, and he sees you standing by the entrance. You look well-rested, your hands fiddling with your phone. Jungkook has only ever seen you when you were wearing that revealing dress from the club and your pajamas from your home, so he’s kind of shocked to see you look cute in your simple white dress and jean jacket. Not that you didn’t look good those other times, but seeing you look like a normal university student is astonishing, for lack of better word.

You almost look like a regular girl just waiting for her date to pick her up.

“Hey!” You greet him cheerily when you see him approach, waving at him. He waves back, the apples of his cheeks dusted pink from his previous thoughts. She’s not your date, you weirdo. Wait, she’s the weirdo. Get it together man! This shit is fucked up.

“This is their place, I assume?” Jungkook asks, looking at the building. It appears almost identical to your own apartment complex, minus the mini water fountain at the front. Ah, the wonders of living in a concrete jungle.

“Yep,” you nod. You start walking towards the entrance, with Jungkook following closely. “You ready? God, I can’t wait to see Doyoung’s stupid face. He’s gonna be so pissed!”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jungkook mutters, vibrating with nerves.

You both make your way to the apartment, with you humming quietly while he sweats profusely beside you. At least one of you is having fun, he thinks grimly to himself. You reach apartment 322, knocking three times before a boy with neat black hair opens the door.

“Y/N! Good to see you,” the boy says, reaching for a hug. You hug him back enthusiastically, ignoring Jungkook’s bemused stares. If this boy is either Doyoung or Taeyong, aren’t you supposed to… hate both of their guts? Or at least, not be friends? What even is going on?

When you step back, you point at Jungkook offhandedly. “Oh yeah, this is Jungkook. The guy I’m dating.”

Jungkook nearly chokes on his own spit, but luckily the boy doesn’t notice. Right… You guys are supposed to be dating. It’s not real, though. Get a grip! “Hi, I’m Jungkook,” he wheezes, shaking the other guy’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you…”

“I’m Doyoung,” he introduces himself, a small smile on his lips. “Nice to meet you too. I’ve heard… a lot about you, so to speak.”

Jungkook squeaks, earning a chuckle from Doyoung. “No need to be embarrassed. I think we’re way past that point now. Sorry for roping you into this, by the way. But when Y/N wants to fight, well… Let’s just say I’m not going to be the first one who backs down.”

“Says the dude who couldn’t even beat me at arm wrestling,” you snort, pushing past Doyoung and walking into his home. Doyoung rolls his eyes, gesturing for Jungkook to come in.

“Props to you for dating her, by the way. I’ve been friends with that demon since elementary school, so I know what she’s like. You must be a guy with strong willpower,” Doyoung says.

“I’m… Sorry for saying this, but I’m kind of confused? I didn’t know you guys were friends,” Jungkook says, examining Doyoung’s apartment. It’s a lot bigger than yours, though he does recall you saying that Doyoung was filthy rich. It’s a lot more modern looking for sure, as Jungkook can see that Doyoung has two industrial-sized refrigerators in his kitchen. What kind of university student needs two industrial-sized refrigerators?

“Yeah, we are. She actually only dated Taeyong because she knew we both liked each other but I was too stubborn to make a move, so she did the only thing she knew how to do: be an asshole,” he explains simply. Jungkook nods, needing no further clarification.

“Jungkook! Come with me,” you pop out from one of the doorways deeper in the apartment, beckoning him closer. You point at Doyoung, “And you. Get Taeyong ready. I’m gonna need a few minutes to get Jungkook in tip-top shape!”

Doyoung chuckles, shoving Jungkook towards you. “Well, that’s my cue. I’ll introduce you to Taeyong later, I guess. He’s in my bedroom, so we’ll come out in about 20 minutes? That should be enough time, right?”

Yeah. Right. Jungkook walks numbly towards you, arms rigged by his sides as you pull him into Doyoung’s spare bathroom. You lock the door close, whirling around to face him with your hands on your hips. You’ve rolled your sleeves up, appearing like a demented surgeon preparing to dissect him. “Well! Strip!”

Jungkook is clumsy when he unbuttons his jeans, his entire body feeling like it’s being weighed down by pounds of lead. He shucks them off, leaving him in his boxers (thankfully, with no holes in them. He made sure to double-check before he left this morning.) You appraise him silently, thinking of what to do next.

Before Jungkook can say anything, your hands are already on his chest, pointer fingers placed near his nipples. His piercings are visible through his thin shirt, much to your appreciation. You circle them lazily, much like how you did yesterday.

Jungkook can’t relax long enough to enjoy it, however. His shoulders are tense, fists clenched behind his back. He’s trying to stop thinking about what’s going to happen, trying to enjoy your touch. He grits his teeth, swallowing thickly.

“I… I can’t do this, Y/N.” he mumbles. “I don’t think I can get hard. I’m too nervous.”

You pause in your movements. “You’re nervous?” you purr, voice lowering. Jungkook stops fidgeting to stare at you, sensing the shift in your demeanor. “How can I alleviate that, hmm?”

“What?”

You pinch his nipples, hard. He gasps, whimpering right after from the jolt of pain. “I think I know how to calm you down,” you murmur, staring him down like he’s nothing more than a delicious snack.

“You want me to hurt you, huh? Is that it? Answer me, slut.” You say those words, but there’s a small bit of hesitation in your expression, like you’re worried if he truly likes it. When he nods enthusiastically, urging you to go on, you smile softly at him. His heart hammers in his chest, a small case of butterflies beginning to erupt there. You look kinda cute, even if you have his nipples in a twist.

“If it’s too much, just say ‘dumbo’ and I’ll stop, okay?” Jungkook nods once more, eager to get going.

You smirk, letting go of his nipples and gripping his hips instead. Your thumbs stay innocently above his boxers. “Do you like it when I call you names too, huh? You like being pinched and prodded?”

Jungkook whines, already turning needy. The anxiety from a while ago slowly drains away, leaving only lust to cloud his mind. “N-no, I just…”

“No?” You laugh, your thumbs catching on the garter of his boxers and pulling them down until the tip of his cock peeks out, already in the midst of getting hard. “Then what’s this?”

“Nggh…” Jungkook can’t say anything, can only stare helplessly at you.

“Pathetic. You have a nine-inch cock but it’s good for nothing except earning me a bit of money. Shame, isn’t it? Would be nice if you knew how to use it, then maybe I’d let you fuck me,” you say, edging closer to him until your lips find his exposed collarbones. You suck harshly, giddy when color immediately blooms at the spot. You thread your fingers into his dark, fluffy hair – and tug.

It’s too much all at once – Jungkook isn’t ready for any of it at all. He’s panting, whining, drooling a little. He shimmies his hips a little, his boxers sliding down his thighs and onto the marble floor. His cock springs free, already dripping pre-cum but still only half-hard.

“Ah, there it is. Your big useless cock. My, my… Already dirtying Doyoungie’s floor with your slick, huh? You gonna make the floor wet, baby?”

Jungkook garbles something; did he say something? Who knows. All he knows right now is that 1) you’re making him lose his marbles and 2) he’s embarrassingly close. He’s never gotten this hard so fast in his entire life, and he might be suffering from blood loss or something. His head feels light, like he’s floating. His entire body is thrumming, senses filled with nothing but you.

You gently lead him closer to the bathtub where you sit, still paying no attention to his weeping arousal. Your mouth is dangerously close to it though, but you make no move to hold him in your mouth. Instead, you hike your skirt up until it reaches your waist, revealing your white panties. Jungkook zeroes in on the darkening patch, a shuddering breath leaving his lungs. He’s screwed.

“Show me how you pleasured yourself yesterday, when you were in my bathroom,” you say, caressing the front of your panties. You grind against your palm, eyelashes fluttering as your jaw drops into an ‘o’. You exhale through your nose, laughing breathily. “If you do well, then maybe I’ll show you what I did when you left, hmm?”

Jungkook has never moved faster in his life than he did then. He takes his erection into his hands, sighing with relief when he begins to pump. He moves slower than he usually would, unwilling to finish so soon after getting this far. He’s already wound up from your teasing (and if you count the past few days, then let’s say he’s been edged long enough.)

You study him with sharp eyes, focusing on the movement of his hands. “That’s it. It must be easy jerking off with how wet you are, huh?”

“Y-yeah.” Jungkook speeds up, flicking his wrist and focusing on the sensitive tip of his cock. His attention is pulled when he sees you shift from the corner of his eye. His grip stutters when you push your panties to the side, giving him a full view of your glistening core. He licks his lips, aching to put his mouth there but only if you’d allow him.

“Why’d you stop?” You stretch your leg out, using your foot to urge his wrist to keep moving. “Come on. I want to see you.”

You circle your clit leisurely before dipping your fingers into your pussy two fingers at a time, wet enough for the slide to be smooth. Jungkook quickens his pace, wanting to match your speed. He watches, mesmerized, at the sight of your fingers pushing in and out.

The obscene sounds coming from the both of you is loud enough to mask Jungkook’s desperate mewls. He’s going faster now, wanting nothing more than to cum all over you and your pussy. You’d look good in his cum, the pearly droplets would look good in contrast with your perfect skin.

Your thighs are shaking, your own breathing shallow as you quickly approach your end. You’re moaning in tandem with him, your arousal coating your fingers generously as it begins to run down the back of your hand. You’re scissoring yourself, but it’s barely enough when you compare it to Jungkook’s cock. No, nothing would be enough to prepare you to take him. He’d ruin you, and the thought of him breaking you is enough to help you tip over the edge.

“Fuuuuuuck,” you moan, eyes screwing shut as you are wrought with the strongest orgasm of your life. More wetness drips out of you as you rub frantically at your clit, riding your high. You look at Jungkook through your eyelashes, lips parted. “Fuck,” you repeat.

Jungkook can’t hold back anymore. He knows he shouldn’t cum but the pleasure is skyrocketing at an unparalleled speed. His balls tighten, the heat in his abdomen building until he can’t hold back even if he tried. He shudders once, twice, before jets of his cum spills from over his fist, some of the droplets making their way onto your thighs. He moans at the sight, doesn’t try to change his trajectory as his mind is completely hazed with lust. “Shit, I’m–” Jungkook grinds one last time into his hand, before promptly slumping down onto the floor.

“Jesus, that was a lot of cum,” he hears you say, but he can’t bring himself to look at you. He’s ashamed, having cummed without your permission. He can feel his dick softening underneath him, and he dimly remembers that hadn’t been the plan at all. He was supposed to get hard, have his dick measured, and then finish if he was allowed. And now, he ruined everything because he couldn’t hold himself back.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he mutters quietly, hiding behind his cum-stained hands. He cringes when the mess enters his eyes, wiping his palm somewhere on his leg. “Fuck. I messed everything up. You were just… It was too much… You…”

“Should’ve used your safety word, Jungkook.”

“It wasn’t because it was bad,” Jungkook’s cheeks flush, “It was… too good.”

You kneel beside him, cradling his chin and forcing him to look at you. He had been afraid to see disappointment in your eyes, so he’s absolutely surprised to see you look… amused. You’re even giggling a little.

“Sorry. I went a bit overboard. Even I get horny sometimes,” you shrug, wiping a bit of cum away from his forehead. Your own fingers are slick with your own cum, so really, you were just making a bigger mess of his face. Jungkook can’t say he’s opposed to a little mess. “You just looked so good that I couldn’t help myself.”

“You… enjoyed yourself, too? I’m not insane for thinking there’s something between us?”

“Honestly, you’re at least a little bit insane,” you laugh at his dumbfounded expression. “What? I’m cuckoo, and you know it. The fact that you got turned on by me even after all I’d done to you… Really puts you into perspective, huh?”

Jungkook grumbles, but he’s no longer frowning. “I guess. My friends tell me I have a type, and I guess you fit the bill.”

You laugh wholeheartedly at that, and it brings a smile to Jungkook’s face. He likes it when you laugh, he decides. “Same here. I guess you’re my type, too.”

You peer down at his flaccid dick. “Too bad about your meat flute, though. Unless you can get it back up in the next 2 minutes, then I don’t think you’re getting that three grand.”

“Please don’t call my dick that,” Jungkook says before shrugging his shoulders. “And it’s no worries. I had the biggest nut of my life and that’s good enough to me. Plus, you said you’d give me one thousand dollars if I agreed to help you out, so you better not back out on that.”

You snigger, patting him gently on the shoulder. “Yeah, whatever. But not before we get out of here and you fuck my brains out, got it? You need to work for it, baby.”

Is it bad that his cock was already beginning to stir once more? Unprecedented, as it usually took Jungkook ages to get back up. Maybe you really were the one for him.

“Deal. Let’s get out of here?”

When the two of you finish getting cleaned up and leave the bathroom with no evidence that you had even been there, Doyoung doesn’t even bat an eye as you walk past him, eager to get out of the door. Taeyong is lounging on the couch with his dick… mysteriously still in his pants, as if he had no intention of taking them off in the first place.

“Sorry, we need to leave. There’s an emergency we have to attend to. See you, Doyoungie!” You tug Jungkook along, who waves his own hasty goodbye.

The door clicks shut, leaving the couple alone once more. Taeyong grins up at Doyoung, “You really are amazing, Doyoung. How’d you know she’d end up with him?”

Doyoung flicks open his phone, showing Taeyong his text messages with none other than Kim Seokjin himself. “All according to keikaku, my love. Kim Seokjin always wins.”

#networkbangtan #armiesnet #btsghostie #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts reader insert #bts fanfiction #bts scenarios #bts #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jungkook #bangtan #bts fanfic #no more smut for 2020......... NO MORE #next fic is angst idc anymore I NEED TO CLEANSE MYSELF AHHHHHH

[jojotichakorn]

my thoughts and opinions on "lovely writer": criticizing the critic

tw for discussions of age gaps, rape, and sex

before i turn into the mean and constantly dissatisfied archer that we all know and hate, i just want to say that i liked this show. i think it's great, actually! gene and sib are appropriately cute, the premise is nice, and the attempt at criticizing the industry is... well, an attempt, which is better than nothing. moreover, "lovely writer" came with gifts because it gave me my new favorite character, so you can't go telling me i'm trying to completely obliterate it or something.

besides, this specific post isn't going to get into analyzing the show as a whole anyway. i won't be talking about any irrelevant plot points, cinematography, sound design, or anything like that, though i could probably write a post just as long as this one about that side of things as well. however, i am here to specifically look at the problematic things that were both criticized by the show and included in the show without any criticism. i'm going to talk about the more serious side of things here, which means i'm going to get serious. and i'm going to be harsh. very harsh.

gene and nubsib: yes's and no's

overall, the relationship between gene and sib was a fair attempt at showing something complex, yet ultimately quite healthy, which i appreciate. there were some things i was especially glad about. the fact that sib dated other people before settling on getting together with gene, for example, makes the whole situation a little less codependent. however, as much as this show prides itself on not wanting to romanticize problematic relationships, there are at least two major problems with genesib.

the age gap (and why it was not needed)

i've tried my very best to give this entire concept the benefit of the doubt. at first, i was convincing myself that they were simply close childhood friends, then i was trying my best to believe that even though sib did have a sort of crush on gene (which sometimes happens to little children), gene only saw him as his younger brother, but eventually, the show gave me no choice, but to deem the entire storyline problematic, because they did their best to romanticize that relationship - from gene's dad seeing the "early signs" to the counting and kissing the cheek turning to counting and full-on lip-locking in the last episode.

i could go into how this could all easily be mended if little sib was shown as kind of obsessed with his older friend, but gene was shown as not being anywhere near interested in the kid. but the real question is - why was the age gap needed at all?

i've researched the age of the boys during the flashbacks to the best of my ability and it seems that gene is 11 and sib is 6 or 7. if sib was the same age as gene (or maybe just one year younger, but not any more than that), not only would none of it feel weird, it would also be quite appropriate to explore that first glimpse of romantic feelings some of us experience exactly around that age. i don't think it's necessary for sib to be much younger than gene (children can be just as impressionable at 11 as they are at 7, and as for gene being surprisingly nice and helpful and the other kids not wanting to play with sib, he could have easily been - for example - bullied by his peers instead, which would have the same effect).

moving forward to the present, i don't think the lack of an age gap would affect the storyline that much either. even if they desperately needed sib to be a university student, they could have that one-year difference i've talked about before, which is not as significant. sib could be in his last year of uni, while gene could have easily written his very first novel during his university years, which would actually make more sense (since that guaranteed him employment and freedom to write after he finished uni; and i would rather believe that he had time to write his first novel in-between classes than in-between shifts at work, which he would surely need to have if he started writing after finishing university).

so that brings me back to my initial question - why was it needed? and much like the show often does, i will leave this one up for your interpretation because i do not have any sensible answers myself.

the issue with sex and consent

"but archer!" - i hear you exclaim - "lovely writer is known for explicitly denouncing rape romanticization in bls, how could there possibly be any problems with consent here?" and i hear you, my dear reader. and you aren't incorrect, "lovely writer" is indeed very explicit at calling out bls for having rape scenes (and i do appreciate that). however, as i'm sure you know, there are different ways in which consent can be taken from a person, and there are different non-consensual acts that someone might perform. for example, there are many different forms of coercion, such as the person being persuaded until they feel like they have no other choice, but to say yes. touching someone or kissing someone without asking for permission are also non-consensual acts. i can go on and on, there are many examples outside of what so many people consider rape.

now, what if i tell you that though there (thank the gods) has been no rape present in "lovely writer", not all scenes with gene and sib are consensual? well, that's what i'm telling you because it's the truth. both the first kissing scene and the scene where gene and sib "try out different poses" have clear coercion in them. the entire "joke" of the scene before gene and sib's first time is literally built upon the concept of "a person is trying to run away from someone, who wants to have sex with them" and it is NOT funny. the later reveal of gene actually looking up how to have sex seems to be there on purpose, to show that everything that's happened is "ok" because gene was thinking about it. as a sensible person, i will only accept actual enthusiastic consent and not someone possibly maybe probably considering it. not to mention that right before having sex, sib asks gene one last time if he is sure, which is great, except it is immediately followed by "i'm not going to let you change your mind anymore", which - daily reminder - you are allowed to stop having sex at any point during the act if you start feeling uncomfortable with it. that's absolutely normal.

now the problem that we seem to run into here is that "lovely writer" appears to think that it's ok to push someone to the limit until they either finally agree or confidently and loudly disagree. the drama has repeatedly shown us that actually forcing someone to have sex is not ok; however, persuading and otherwise coercing someone, as well as taking an approximate guess of them wanting to have sex based on some marginally related factors, is ok. i would like to once again remind everyone that all of that is not ok.

one more issue i want to bring up in connection with sex is something i wish was common knowledge: it is NOT supposed to hurt during your first time. whether you are planning to have vaginal or anal sex for the first time, it should not hurt. and if it does, something has definitely gone wrong and you need to stop. you are not supposed to experience any pain or discomfort during sex, including your first time (outside of desired and therefore intentionally inflicted pain, but that's not what i'm talking about here). i have seen this misconception brought up many times in bls along with the other person "thanking the person who got hurt for bearing the pain to bring them pleasure" and absolutely none of that is normal. stop. please, just... stop.

criticism of the BL industry

there are certainly quite a few things i liked about the way "lovely writer" criticized the many problems that surround bls. i think they dealt especially well with the fan aspect. the breaches of privacy that are considered normal, the toxicity of social media that encourages people to comment on other people's personal life, harass and stalk them - all of that was shown in its full glory (or rather horror) and clearly condemned. it was also interesting to see how easily everyone around sib fell into the routine of having to hide genesib's relationship, just because "that's what's supposed to be done in these situations" - even tum did that without thinking twice.

however, i have not spent the past three years hating gmm for a show trying to criticize the industry not to focus on criticizing the production company and everyone professionally involved with the making of bls. don't get me wrong - they didn't completely overlook that side of things, but i found the way they approached it dissatisfying.

like yes, tum fights with his sister (aka sib's manager) and calls her out for her terrible actions, and the publisher (bua) eventually apologizes for what she did, but all of that feels a bit too... personal. i do not care about these individual stories. i care about you saying that the whole system is broken because it very much is. i wanted manner of death but with the bl industry, and instead, i got an "uwu the fans are demanding we do this, and our hands our tied" (which is a lie) and "uwu i'm just trying to make money" (which i mean... if you feel ok milking even more money than you already have by doing something unethical and immoral, then be my guest, but also go fuck yourself). besides that, i didn't see any criticism of tabloids or exploitative celebrities either (both of which we had examples of in the show), and that was kind of disappointing.

coming back to the fans for a moment, i also think that the criticism of real people shipping was entirely unsuccessful. we basically mostly got an "oh, what if this person's partner thinks they are actually dating", which... if a bunch of people on the internet who do not know your boyfriend personally and make all their judgments from screenshots and their imagination can convince you that your boyfriend is cheating, i've got some bad news for you and also a number for a therapist. partly i know why it was so complicated for them to get into it properly - the issue with real people shipping is an issue of privacy, boundaries, the perception of celebrities, acceptable interests, and many other complex topics. however, it's better to not criticize something than to criticize it badly and inaccurately (because the latter usually leads to even more encouragement of whatever you were attempting to criticize).

aey: the flamboyant villain

aey certainly starts as a promisingly complex character, but the farther we go from his backstory and his family, the less complex and the more evil he gets. eventually, the trauma he goes through is no longer enough to give him a get-out-of-jail-free card, and he loses all remaining sympathy after sexually harassing gene and pretending to drug sib. and i did start this post by saying that i am not to analyze any plot points or characters from the show here; however, i'm saying all this to prove a point that aey is a clear villain in the show. this is further cemented by the fact that by the end of the show he loses the only two people who cared about him, and the very last moment with him in the show is literally just him crying for about 3 minutes. there was no redemption arc, no pity, no revenge - he was left alone and broken, clearly punished by the narrative. and i've got a bone to pick here as well.

one of the first things that we find out about aey is that he is gay, and quite openly so. he is repeatedly described as very feminine by many characters, he flirts with men, he talks about being good in bed, and his entire character is built upon being gay (half of it directly, and the other half due to the fact that his entire backstory and therefore personality is also built upon the fact that he is gay). he is - for the lack of a better term - the gayest character in the show and the only one who is loud about being gay not because he is in love but simply because it is a part of him and he doesn't want to hide it. and he is the villain. not the disgusting publisher or the terrible manager - no, this guy was specifically chosen to ruin everyone's lives. and i can't say i'm particularly happy about that. *british voice* seems a bit homophobic love

not quite queer enough

as i said, aey is openly gay. gene and sib also eventually say that they are gay, gene's father teep is queer, so are tiffy and mhok. but it just doesn't seem to come up as much as it would in real life. the only time anyone has a problem with any of the characters being queer is when we deal with the parents. but knowing actual queer thai actors in real life, we are all aware how hard it can be for them, but it has not come up even once for aey, gene or sib (with genesib only being a problem because they are a "non-shippable couple"). being queer is far from being a non-issue in the industry, and i found it incredibly weird that it was never brought up (and i would also prefer if they brought that up instead of showing the unaccepting parents plot for the millionth time).

same goes for the lack of conversation around queer people on set. i think we all have a wonderful example of how much better a bl can get simply when it involves a queer director and/or screenwriter (gods bless p'aof), gay actors, etc. i also thought it was a missed opportunity that gene being a gay man writing a bl novel was never highlighted. if anything, everyone made a big deal out of him being a man writing a bl - never mind that he is a gay man that is far more qualified to write bls than a straight woman.

in conclusion, there are simply not enough queer issues talked about here for a show that is about queer people facing difficulties while making a queer drama.

tiffy and tum: the good, the bad, and the ugly

overall, tiffy and tum are quite cool. outside of my own personal feelings, i really liked the clear reversal of gender roles they have going on: he knows lots about make-up, she knows nothing about it, he knows how to sew, she knows how to repair a car, etc.

tiffy is also a nice addition to the precious few queer girls we have in bls. however, the way her being bi is executed... it isn't great. when she first talks about dating girls to tum, she says things like "even though i look like this" (implying queer girls have a certain look?) and "maybe it seemed normal because i was at an all-girls school" (which wtf does that even mean?). i think the worst thing, though, was when she assumed tum was gay. my best guess is she thought so because she initially thought that tum and gene were a couple; however, she should be the first person to know that just because he likes men, it doesn't mean that he doesn't like women or any other gender. even though there was nothing explicitly leading me to make this conclusion, this whole thing did kind of feel like the old "flipping the switch" stereotype (meaning, she used to like women, but now she likes men, and both of them can't happen simultaneously).

make it make sense

i think i've never been more confused in my entire life than when i found out that the director of "lovely writer" also happens to be the director of "th*arnt*pe". and if at first, i was asking a lot of questions about this peculiar individual, who went from working on the worst rape-romanticizing show we have ever had to a show that explicitly states that rape is not normal. but the more i thought about it, the less i was interested in him, and the more i was interested in whoever made the decision to hire him. there are dozens of different directors that have worked specifically on bls, and even more that haven't. yet out of all those, you decided to choose this one. the dude, who before your show has only directed the show with the biggest rape-y vibes. that casts a particular kind of shade on the entire show that i simply do not like.

conclusion

at the end of the day, i think what "lovely writer" tried to do was very interesting. it succeeded in some ways and failed in others. frankly, i think this show could have easily been made better if someone queer was involved in making it. that's always true, but especially so, when we try to talk about the issues of making a queer drama. either way, it's certainly a good start to this conversation; however - as i said - i'm still waiting for my manner of death but with the bl industry. this was unfortunately not it.

#it is here it is queer it has some controversial hot takes #archer speaks #lovely writer

[empyreanwritings]

A Different Side to You

Pairing: Angel!Sam Wilson x Demon!Reader

Word Count: 7k (yall this is my longest fic that isn’t a series, i’m crying)

Warnings: definitely some blasphemous talk, blood and gore, mentions of sacrifices, language

Summary: You like to get under Sam’s skin because he makes it easy, but he doesn’t realize just how far you’ll really go to make sure he’s safe.

A/N: Hello friends! This is my submission for @buckysknifecollection​ writing challenge, congrats again on reaching 3k bby cause you deserve every follower and more! My prompt was Flirting in Inappropriate Places, and I tried to be as interesting with it as I could asdlkfjd ! Please let me know what y’all think! I crave attention xx

Divider by @whimsicalrogers​ - check them out bc their edits are amazing x

"Do you pray, or is that kind of redundant given your direct line to the big man?"

Sam refused to look over at the intruder. It was bad enough you felt the need to bother him with your presence again but to do it in a church? He feared if he looked over at you, he'd throw the hymnal straight at your thick skull. That kind of behavior was unbecoming for God's favorite, and he knew better than to test his father's patience - even if you tested his own daily.

You sighed dramatically, and he heard the familiar click of your heels as you walked down the center aisle. You traced your finger against the armrest of the pews; your nails dipped in black paint occasionally leaving a small scratch on them. The wood was old and soft, it was easy to leave marks behind, and it made you smile knowing they wouldn't be able to buff it out without ruining the wood altogether. A church marked by a demon. How sad.

For the last year, you brought it upon yourself to cause trouble to Sam. Nat told you not to bother with him; she knew her father would protect him at all costs, but you couldn't stop yourself. There was something about Sam that made every part of your body feel hot - and not in the Hellfire kind of way. Maybe it was his strong will or those arms. Either way, you enjoyed bugging him because you knew you'd make him crack eventually.

It was too hard to resist you, ask any man or woman who was allowed to live after a nightly encounter with you.

"I have to say," you leaned against the pew directly in front of Sam and crossed your arms over your chest, "Orange really is your color, Sammy. I don't think I've ever seen you look so delicious before."

"Can you not flirt with me in a house of worship? It's bad enough that you are here," he hissed. "Do not disrespect my father by flirting with me as well."

"Touchy, touchy. I can see I've struck a nerve, so I'll tell you why I'm here."

Sam's brows raised, and for once, he seemed intrigued by what you had to say. "Oh? It's not to bother me?"

Part of your visit was to bother him, you couldn't deny that, but it was mostly a professional visit. Nat needed to return to Hell and deal with a few demons who were stirring up trouble. The longer Nat stayed on Earth, the more restless they became down below. Some of them even went as far as to say Nat was no longer their queen and wanted to overthrow her. And, of course, she couldn't let that happen, so she left you in charge of any earthly factions trying to rise up while she went down to control the chaos. You hated being left behind, but the company wasn't terrible.

The only way you could really get the demons on Earth under control was if you had Lilith's knife. It was the only knife capable of truly killing a demon, not just send them back to Hell to crawl their way out again. After the war between the angels and demons, the angels took the knife and hid it so no being could ever wield its power again, and you knew Sam was there when Steve hid it.

You suggested a trade: Sam loaned you Lilith's knife in exchange for one of your Souls. No one would ever be willing to give up a soul they took in a deal, but if it meant you'd get your hands on the knife, you would do it.

"Are you out of your mind?" Sam roared, his cool exterior finally cracking at your audacity to ask something of him. "You really think I am going to hand over Lilith's knife to you? You know very well that knife doesn't just kill demons, Y/N."

"I would never use it on you, you drama queen." You paused, and a wicked smile spread across your face. "Unless you asked me to, of course."

He scoffed. You felt the disgust rolling off him, and you tried not to be annoyed that the sheer thought of being with you made him feel sick. You weren't looking for him to love you, or anything like that, but he didn't have to act like sleeping with you was so terrible. It wasn't as if you could get any sort of disease - perks of being a demon, after all.

"I am not giving you the knife, so you might as well leave."

"I can wait," you purred and left your spot on the pew to explore the sanctuary. You knew it would bother Sam if you stayed any longer, so you were going to milk your time there.

The church was one of the oldest in the city. You never fully understood the separate denominations of the church, but you noticed Baptists put less work into their churches than others. The pews were old, the fabric on them was a faded green that was torn in some spots. The white walls were slightly yellowed and peeling in the corners, but you only noticed if you focused long enough. It helped that the lights, which you could see dust hanging from the top of them, were dimmed. The blue carpet on the stage was the only thing that seemed new, and even that didn't seem to be in the best condition.

You walked over to the podium, and from the corner of your eye, you could see Sam tense up. You smirked and continued on. A worn bible sat on top of it; there were tabs sticking out the side, marking several pages for future sermons, you assumed. You grabbed the end of one and flipped it to the marked page, running your fingers across the lines.

You opened your mouth to start reading, but Sam appeared in front of you almost instantly. He slammed the bible closed, barely giving you time to yank your hand back. He knew exactly what you were doing, and he refused to let you speak the words of his father.

Touchy, touchy, you thought.

Sam grabbed your elbow to escort you out, but you whirled around and faced him head on. You pressed your chest against his; you were so close, your nose brushed the tip of his. He hated being this close to you, but he made no sign of backing down. God's favorite was one of the proudest as well. A deadly sin, you chose to remind him.

He watched your eyes flick down to his lips and back to his eyes in a matter of seconds. It happened so quickly, he thought he imagined it, but he knew better. You were shameless.

"I guess I'll get going now, Sammy," you hummed as you trailed your finger down his chest. "Please wear this sweater the next time I see you. Like I said, orange is your color."

You disappeared without another word, and the breath escaped Sam's lips in a cough. Well, it was less of a cough, and more of a strangled gasp. You really had a way of getting under his skin, and he hated admitting that to himself.

He knew one thing was certain, he couldn't let you get Lilith's knife. No matter your intentions.

"What are they doing?"

You jumped at the sound of Sam's voice, thinking you were caught by one of the people you spied on, but instantly relaxed when you saw him standing behind you. You glanced back at the scene in front of you - an altar with fake skulls the group probably bought at Michael's, red fabric thrown carelessly around everything, and three men in black cloaks mumbling to themselves about Lucifer. A woman was tied to the table directly in the middle. She squirmed and screamed for someone to help her, but no one was around these parts for miles, and the group knew it. It was why they picked this spot in the first place.

"Virgin sacrifice," you grumbled. "I could smell the stench of goat's blood miles away, so I popped in to see what they were doing."

"You can't just let them-"

"Relax, Sammy. I'm going to stop them. I actually hate human sacrifices." You turned around and smiled wide when you looked over at Sam. His brows furrowed, confused by your sudden change in mood, but when your eyes looked down at his shirt, he knew what you were about to say. "You're wearing orange."

He rolled his eyes. "I had nothing else to wear."

"You're wearing orange because I said you looked good in it, aren't you? Don't be embarrassed, Sammy, you look absolutely-"

"Don't you have a virgin sacrifice to interrupt?"

Your mouth formed an 'o' as if you just remembered why you were here. You told him to wait one moment before you disappeared behind the red fabric.

Screams filled the abandoned warehouse, but they didn't belong to the woman. The stench of blood and mutilated flesh hung in the air around Sam. It was a smell he was sure you were used to, but he almost lost his lunch thanks to it. When the screaming stopped, Sam thought the worst of it was over until he heard one of the boys beg for their lives. A wretched sob and a plea to be better interrupted by the sound of him choking on his own blood.

You escorted the woman out quietly. The poor thing trembled in your arms, yet it seemed you weren't the thing she was terrified of. You may have been a demon, but the monsters were the men willing to sacrifice her in the name of someone who didn't want human sacrifices to begin with. Well, Nat only liked sacrifices if the one dying was wicked, but that was another story.

The woman thanked you, tears and snot streaming down her face as she clutched onto your torso. You grimaced but did not pull away. Human comfort wasn’t something you fully understood, but you knew she needed a good hug right now, so you let it slide.

"Is there anything I can do to repay you?" She sobbed.

Sam shook his head. He knew what you were about to say - she could offer her soul in exchange for helping her. Demons were all the same. They acted like what they did was for the benefit of others, but it always came at a price. A price the humans could barely afford. And just when he started to believe you did this out of whatever goodness you had in your heart, you were going to prove to him that you were just like every other demon.

"You owe me nothing." He sucked in a sharp breath. That wasn't what he was expecting at all. "Except…maybe don't go on dates with people you meet in cemeteries. This is New Orleans, you can meet better men at the bars."

She nodded and made her way out of the warehouse. You weren't worried about her spreading the tale of what happened today because she could be accused of murder if she did. No one would ever buy the tale that a demon swooped in and killed everyone just to save her. The witches of the French Quarter might, but they weren't lawyers who could bust her out of jail.

You noticed Sam staring at you and huffed. "What? Do you not approve of me killing those bastards?"

"No, I…" He trailed off for a moment, eyes wandering over every inch of your blood covered body.  He wasn't looking at you but trying to look through you and understand why you would do something like spare that woman's soul. "I don't understand why you didn't make a deal with that woman."

You shrugged. You felt no need to explain yourself to him.

"Wait, when you offered to exchange a soul for Lilith's knife, did you even have a soul to offer?"

"Several."

"Ones that aren't centuries old."

"Why does it matter how old they are? A soul is a soul, right?"

It hit Sam that you probably haven't made a deal since you first became a demon. There was a time where Nat required every demon to make deals with people, but even she grew bored of the lifestyle. Many demons continued making deals and ruining people's lives, but Sam wondered when you stopped - and why. You spent most of your days following him around just to bother him, which meant you didn't have much time to harvest souls of the innocent. So, why? Why did you stop, and why did you make it seem like it wasn't a big deal?

You turned away to avoid any questions he was inevitably going to throw at you. You walked around the body parts and looked through the trinkets they gathered for the sacrifice. It was a long shot, but you wanted to see if they got their hands on Lilith's knife. A small bubble of excitement burst in you when you saw a black dagger resting on the table, but you knew it wasn't the right one as soon as you touched it. No magic, no power. Just a boring kitchen knife dipped in paint.

He watched you look around in disappointment. Questions bombarded his mind, made him wonder what else he didn't know about you - what else he might have gotten wrong. You were still a demon, though, and he would never be able to look past that.

When your search turned up empty, you focused right back on Sam and the dark orange V-neck he wore. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he wore that shirt for you. And you knew it.

"So," you began with a smile, "I find it adorable that you are wearing more orange for me. Very fall…very romantic, if you ask me."

"I didn't wear it for you," he quipped. "I told you, I had nothing else to wear."

"Mhm, so you said. Well, if you don't like it, you could always just take it off. I wouldn't mind." You ran your finger along his exposed collarbone, and he quickly swatted at your hand.

"There is nothing sexy about you asking me to take off my shirt when it smells like blood."

You giggled, something that should have been adorable yet somehow sounded evil coming from your lips. "You'll get used to it after a while, but I'll let you change the subject for now. I know it's probably not good for God's favorite to be aroused at the idea of taking me on a sacrificial altar."

Sam deadpanned, and you practically howled out a laugh. He made it far too easy to get under his skin. As much as you would have liked for him to ravish you then and there, you were perfectly satisfied knowing you managed to annoy him. It was the second greatest pleasure in your life, next to torturing evil assholes who thought the world belonged to them.

You tried to turn the conversation back to Lilith's knife. You hoped that your display of mercy would make him willing to give up its location, but he stood his ground. He vowed to never let you see the knife, even if you did swear not to use it on the angels. The knife's power was too much for one to handle; he couldn't guarantee that after you used it on the rowdy demon faction, you wouldn't just turn around and use it on him or his brothers. Once the knife got a taste for blood, it always wanted more.

No matter what you told him about the threats of war in Hell and on Earth, he refused you. His stubbornness made your jaw clench, but you knew when to pick your battles. When the precious humans were in danger, he would be willing to give it up. Despite not wanting for it to get that bad, you knew it was the only way.

So, you'd wait, and until then, you'd drive him crazy with your flirtatious comments.

The next few days were…off, to say the least. You spent a lot of your time trying to get a feel for Sam's godly aura - something that had a distinct smell and feel to it most angels didn't even realize - but there was nothing. Every corner you turned, every chapel you visited, was hollow. Cold and empty, much like the feeling in your chest the longer you didn't see him. You knew it was possible he was just avoiding you, but you couldn't help but feel a little dreadful.

If something happened to Sam, you'd unleash Hell on earth. You would rip through every being you had to in order to get to him. The heavens haven't seen true bloodshed until you've put your mind to it, especially if you were going to avenge your non-existent lover.

But as you sat in one of Sam's favorite sanctuaries, you wondered if he had finally grown tired of your games. He was an angel after all, and you were nothing but a demon. Scum of the earth; knight of darkness and destruction. A small voice in the back of your head reminded you that you would never be any more to him. You looked around and realized, he might not have been missing at all, he may have just decided you were no longer worthy of his presence. You weren't sure which idea hurt more, and you didn't really want to take time to analyze it.

The funny thing about sadness is that it eats you from the inside. The harder you try to push it down, the more power you seem to give it. Even as you sat there, staring at the ethereal paintings on the ceiling, you couldn't stop the sadness from burning a hole into your heart. You closed your eyes and exhaled, feeling the heat from all the Bibles burning around you. And you smiled - not fully, but enough to push down the sadness once more.

"Where is my brother?" You opened your eyes and looked over at Steve, who went to work trying to put out the small fires you set. "For the love of dad, did you really have to burn the Bibles? You could have gone for the hymnals, at least!"

You hummed disinterestedly. "Why are you asking me about Sammy? I figured he went back to Heaven by now."

"He hasn't been home in months, but he usually checked in with me. I haven't heard from him in days now."

Okay, so maybe he was missing, and maybe you were too quick to start throwing yourself a pity party, but could anyone blame you? No one had to know you were willing to burn down a church simply because you thought Sam abandoned you.

"The last I saw Sam he was alive and well, I can promise you," you purred just to get under Steve's skin. "If I'm being honest, though, I haven't seen him since then. He usually pops up to scold me when I start trouble, and I did everything I could to get his attention! I even kicked a toddler, and he never came. I should have realized he could never get bored with me; obviously someone has taken him."

Steve blinked several times, trying his best to process your words. He didn't know where to start - the fact that you both tend to end up in each other's company willingly or that you would go so far as to kick a toddler to see him. He shook his head. How Sam managed to put up with your antics was beyond Steve. He always told his brother that a demon like you wasn't worth watching over, but Sam always had one excuse or another. Lately, he claimed it was to make sure you didn't find Lilith's knife, but even that excuse was flimsy at best.

He wanted to be in your company, and it baffled Steve most of all.

"I'm not going to touch any of that," he quickly shook his head and tried to push the disturbing thoughts out of his head. "Nat said there was rebellion going on in Hell. Do you think demons might have taken him to get under her skin?"

"I wouldn't put it past them, but I honestly think if the demon faction on Earth kidnapped him it's because they want Lilith's knife."

"And let me guess you want me to give it to you."

You nodded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "If demons are behind Sammy's disappearance, they need to be taken out. Lilith's knife can do that, and you know it!"

"You think I'm foolish enough to give a blade that can kill demons and angels to a psychotic demon with stabbing tendencies?" Steve scoffed. "You're off your rocker even more than usual."

A moment passed, and your passive façade finally cracked. You kicked Steve, full force against his abdomen, and sent him flying towards the altar. He caught himself before he landed on the podium, but he didn't have enough time to block your next blow to his side. You knew it was enough to knock the air from his lungs and catch him off guard, so you quickly grabbed his throat and forced him to his knees. His angel strength usually made him an even match, but your rage was the one thing fueling you. It was too much for him to fight off.

You squeezed until he was gasping for air and slapping at your hands. His eyes grew wide when he looked up at you and realized you were in full demon form - eyes black, teeth pointed behind your sinister snarl, and your skin slowly flaking off and turning to ash. He had never seen you like this, and for once, he feared his life despite knowing you couldn't really kill him.

You leaned in close, letting him get a good whiff of the rotted flesh and brimstone. "Let me make something very clear, Michael, you will give me that knife because the longer you wait, the more danger my Sammy may be in. And if he gets hurt, I will tear the world apart until it rains blood for eternity. You and your daddy will have nothing to protect anymore, do you understand me?"

Steve shuddered as you dropped him to the floor. The use of his real name never brought a chill down his spine until it came from your lips. He knew, somewhere deep inside of him, that you no longer wanted the knife for yourself; you wanted it to end those who dared to take Sam away from you.

Realization dawned on him in that moment. You loved him. It was something he never knew a demon could be capable of, but your protectiveness…your anger…it all made sense now. You wouldn't let anything happen to Sam, and he knew giving you the knife wouldn't be the worst idea. The other angels might frown upon it, but they wouldn't question Steve's judgement. He'd make them understand why he had to, and why you were somehow the most trustworthy person to take it.

"I'll get you the knife," he gasped. "You find out where my brother is, and I will meet you there with the knife."

You slowly turned back into your "presentable" self at his words. The relief that you wouldn't have to torture the information out of Steve flooded you. Sam would be incredibly unhappy if he knew you hurt his family, even if it was a little deserved.

"I can find out within the hour, I have someone who owes me a few favors," you replied. "Keep an eye out for my text. I'll give you the coordinates on where to find me once I know."

Without another word, you disappeared, off to cause trouble wherever you needed to. Steve stood there, hands dropped at his side and a deep sigh escaping his lips. There was one problem to your plan: he didn't have a phone.

The moon just started to rise when you stepped through the dilapidated gates of the cemetery. Fog clung to the ground, making everything damp and humid. Bits of leaves stuck to the bottom of your boots as you walked, but you didn't care. You just wanted to get to Sam.

You felt in your element, oddly enough. Surrounded by darkness, Lilith's knife grasped tightly in your hand. You knew the night would end in a blood bath. The demons weren't going to let Sam go willingly, and you mentally prepared yourself for what he was about to witness. If you lost control, even for a split second, your true form would come out again. You knew he would never love you anyways, but once he got a real look at you, whatever tiny amount of hope you clung onto would be squashed.

None of it mattered, though. You only cared for Sam's safety.

The faction waited for you in one of the larger mausoleums. They almost seemed too relaxed as you walked in, as if the party couldn't start until you arrived. You glanced over and saw Sam bound, gagged, and tossed in the corner. You forced yourself to take a deep breath and not let the rage consume you over the sight of him.

Mystique, the leader of the faction, casually hopped down from the top of the stone casket and made her way to you. Her movements reminded you of a lioness, calm and in control as she stalked closer to her prey. She wasn't scared of you, and that was the one thing you were hoping for; you wanted her to underestimate just how cruel you could be.

She walked around you in circles, taking in your presence with a hungry grin on her face. Her eyes lingered on Lilith's knife longer than anywhere else, but she made no advances to take it from you.

"I see you brought the knife," she practically purred in delight. "I'm surprised the angels were so willing to hand it over, but I see kidnapping one of their own was the best way to get their attention."

"You weren't just trying to get their attention," you replied calmly. "You were trying to get mine as well."

"Well, I did have a feeling taking your lover boy would get you here."

You refused to look back at Sam, even though you wanted to. You had to lie your way out of her trap, and you wouldn't be able to contain yourself if you made eye contact with him in this moment. And you wouldn't be able to hide any of your emotions from Mystique.

"He means nothing to me. He was just a means to get Lilith's knife."

As the words left your mouth, your chest started to ache. You silently prayed - something you never thought you could bring yourself to do - that Sam wouldn't believe your words. Whether he ever planned on loving you back or not, you didn't want him to think you only saw him as a means to an end. If he never gave you the knife, you wouldn't have cared because you got to spend time with him. That was more than enough for you.

"For a demon, you're a terrible liar," Mystique sneered. "I've been watching you two. I know the truth, and honestly? I feel a little sad for you, Y/N."

Your lips formed a tight line, and you took a slow breath through your nose. "Why is that?"

"Because you're dumb enough to think he'll fall for you one day. Do you not see the heartbreak you're setting yourself up for? An angel will never see you as anything but the perverted failure of his father, and you are dumb enough to think he could ever see you as anything else." Her words cut into you, and you had nothing to retort. She was right; you came to terms with this before you ever step foot into his life. You weren't meant to fall for him and yet…you did. You tricked yourself. "Even Nat believes she is better than us, it's why we needed to take action! Can't you see? We're your family. We're able to give you what these angels never could - power and belonging. I know you crave both despite all your past protests."

She wrapped her arm around your shoulders and forced you to look at Sam. Her lips were next to your ear, and though you couldn't see it, you knew she was smirking. "All you have to do is kill him. Kill Gabriel and we'll accept you into our group. I can be a fair better leader than Nat ever could."

Sam's eyes grew wide as you stalked towards him. Mystique's words ran through your mind on a constant loop. He would never see you as anything other than a demon; he would never be able to love you the way you so desperately desired. The longer you stared at him, the easier it was to come to terms with that. But it didn't mean he deserved to die.

"There is one thing I think you are forgetting in all of this," you finally said, turning your back on Sam to face Mystique.

"And what is that, my dear?"

You shoved the knife through her throat, ignoring the spray of blood hitting your face. The other demons stood, ready to attack, but they faltered when they realized no one was going to give them an order. Mystique was too busy choking on her own blood.

Just before the light faded from her eyes, you leaned in close and whispered, "You get on my last fucking nerve."

You pulled the knife out and let her body drop to the ground. She was gone for good this time. Wherever the beings went when they were killed with Lilith's knife, you knew it wasn't Hell; she would never be able to crawl her way back to Earth and cause more trouble.

The other demons stood in shock as you stepped over her body. They didn't want to fight in you in fear of losing their own lives, but as you flipped the knife in your hand, they knew they had no choice. You weren't going to let any of them walk out of there alive. They started too much trouble for you and for Nat. This was your way of tying up loose ends.

You gave them props for putting up a good enough fight. They weren't coordinated without Mystique telling them what to do, but they tried their best. Even when bodies started to drop, and the smell of blood lingered heavily in the air, they fought tooth and nail to get away from you. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. Not a single demon stepped through the mausoleum doors alive. Well, besides you of course, but that was kind of obvious.

Once everyone was taken care of, you made your way over to Sam. You looked him over several times, and a pout began to form on your lips.

"You're not wearing orange today!" You whined as you pulled the rag from his mouth. "I thought we agreed you'd wear orange the rest of your life for me."

He let out an exasperated breath. "You're insane, you know that?"

"Well I heard-"

"If quote Alice in Wonderland and tell me all the best people are crazy, I'm going to shoot you," Sam grumbled, kicking away the ropes from his ankles in a hurry.

You beamed over at him. It was the kind of smile that made you look unhinged, and the blood spattered on your cheeks didn't help. "Ooh, gunplay? Sounds kinky, I'm in! But I'm pretty sure you don't even know how to work a gun, so I'll have to teach you."

"Please don't."

Sam took your hand and allowed you to help him stand. He had been tied up for days, and he caught himself using the wall to keep himself from tipping over again as the blood started to rush to his limbs again. He noticed how you stayed close enough to catch him if he fell over but kept your distance to give him some space. You assumed he needed a break from being surrounded by demons, and you weren't entirely wrong. He just didn't include you in the list of demons he wanted to stay away from.

You quietly let him pull himself together and got to work on piling the demons' bodies on top of each other. Not many groundskeepers entered mausoleums, but you didn't want to risk anyone finding them. You made a mental note to return with some lighter fluid and take care of the remains before the sun rose. It wouldn't please Nat to know you left bodies out in the open for anyone to find.

Sam tried to shift his weight onto one foot, and he grunted in surprise when a sharp pain shot through his ankle. You were by his side instantly, using your shoulder support most of his weight.

"Are you okay?" You asked, searching his face for any signs of discomfort.

He nodded. "I'm not sure how, but I think they might have broken my ankle. It should heal soon, though."

"Let's get you to a safe place to rest. I need to get the knife back to Steve, and we don't really need any other demons stumbling on your injured self."

"You're actually giving the knife back?" His surprise made you wince. You told him the only thing you needed the knife for was the get the demon faction under control, but he never believed you.

Because you're a demon, your thoughts reminded you.

"I told you I only needed the knife for one thing Sammy," you huffed and helped him step out into the cemetery. "I would never lie to you."

Sam said nothing, but he quietly examined the side of your face as you walked together. He wasn't sure what he felt in that moment besides confusion. Deep down, he already knew you weren't one to lie to him, but he didn't understand why. Why you went to great lengths just to save him. Why you hated virgin sacrifices and didn't take souls. Why you spent most of your time around him when you could have been doing anything else. You were supposed to be a typical demon consumed by a lust for blood, sex, and souls, yet you had proven time and time again that you were far from his expectation.

He wondered if Mystique had been right - were you in love in with him? The thought of you being in love with him made him question everything he thought he already knew.

He couldn't bring himself to understand why he liked the way you flirted him, or why he wore orange just to see you smile. He easily could have gone back to Heaven by now, but he always found an excuse to stay. To see you.

As you escorted him through the gates and far away from the stench of blood, he sucked in a sharp breath. Perhaps Mystique wasn't right about everything. She claimed Sam could never see you as anything but a demon, but as he looked up at you now, that was the last thing on his mind. All he saw was the woman he finally admitted to himself he was in love with.

You slipped into the pew beside Sam, who had fully recovered from last night's incident. You were exhausted after spending your night burning bodies and tracking down Steve to return the knife. Even he seemed surprised you gave it up willingly, but you didn't bother to banter with him about it. You were tired of the angels always thinking the worst of you.

You leaned your head against Sam's shoulder, half-expecting him to pull away in disgust, but he didn't. He sat there in silence as you closed your eyes and let yourself relax for a few moments.

The silence between you two wasn't uncomfortable. Both of you felt like you had been to Hell and back, and not much needed to be said about that. You were still covered in blood, and your clothes reeked of burnt flesh. Sam, who was fully healed, rubbed at his wrists to try and get the phantom feeling of the rope away. You almost made a joke about how a fucked up demon sat next to an equally fucked up angel, but the humor died on your tongue before you could get it out. It was just too much effort.

Sam sighed and pressed his cheek against the top of your head. "She was wrong, you know."

"About what?" You murmured so softly, you weren't sure you spoke out loud.

"About my feelings for you."

You sat up and groaned, feeling all of your muscles groan along with you. "Don't tease me, Sam. It actually hurts my feeling for you to lie to me like this."

"I'm not lying!"

"Sure, you're not."

He grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. The sincerity in his eyes made your stomach churn. You knew how this played out because he wasn't supposed to love you; he wasn't supposed to see you as anything but a demon. Not a single celestial being would ever approve of him falling in love with you, and you would never be able to find peace.

"Listen to me," he began with a small, hopeful smile, "I love you. Do I fully understand it? Absolutely not. You're crazy, and I'm pretty sure you kill pedophiles for breakfast. You also willingly kick toddlers, which I don't approve but…I love you."

"No one will approve us being together, you know," you whispered as if someone was already listening in on you. "Not God, not Nat, not Steve. They'll always have something to say about us."

"Then let's get out of here for a bit."

"Where?"

"Anywhere you want to go." You quickly glanced to the side, and he rolled his eyes. "If you make another comment about that confessional booth, I will lose my mind."

You softly laughed and leaned in ever so slightly. You were officially invading his space, but you weren't making the first move yet. You wanted to give him one last chance to change his mind, to come to his senses or whatever it was he needed to do, before he turned his back on everything he knew just to be with you. Would it hurt? Absolutely. But you needed to know that this was going to last between you two. You weren't sure if you could live with the heartbreak of losing Sam.

"I think you've already lost your mind, Sammy," you teased. "You want to be with a demon after all."

He cupped your cheek in his hand, gently stroking your bottom lip with his thumb. It was an act so intimate, it almost caught you off guard. He stared at you silently before his lips finally met yours, and you nearly collapsed into his arms with how ecstatic you were to finally get a taste of him.

The kiss was hungry - full of teeth and breathless groans. You were exploring every inch of each other that you possibly could without tearing each other's clothes off. Sam practically came to life underneath you as his hands roamed up your side. Your name died on his lips - a prayer only you could hear. You thought about pulling back and reminding him that you were in the house of his father, but that would require you to stop kissing him, and you had no intention of stopping any time soon.

When he finally pulled away from, your chests were heaving, and you smiled over at him. He appreciated how gentle your smile seemed now. Even with the dried blood on your skin, there was a warmth in your eye that made your smile fill his chest with joy. A lot less unhinged, he would say.

"So," you pushed his back against the pew and crawled onto his lap, your knees straddling either side of his thighs, "You said we could go anywhere in the world, right?"

"Besides the confessional booth," he retorted with a smile as he caressed the side of your face.

You paused, trying to get used to him looking at you like you were the only woman in the universe. It felt odd but not entirely in a bad way. You spent most of your time denying he could ever look at you this way, and here he was, proving your doubts wrong. You weren't sure if it made you want to cry or kiss him until he caved and pulled you right into the confessional.

He claimed you wouldn't convince him, but you'd get him to crack one day.

"Besides the confessional booth," you laughed. "I spent a lot of time here, pestering you and scaring children in the cemetery. I think it'd be nice to get out of the country, explore the world a little bit."

"You haven't done that already?"

You shook your head. "I spent a lot of time staying close to Nat. She needed a strong right-hand woman, and I was the one who wanted to fill the job. I mean, Maria is great, but she's better at handling souls and all their pesky little contracts."  

"Where do you want to go then? We can go anywhere you want, and we can get there for free thanks to my wings."

"Can I convince you to give the confessional booth a whirl?"

Sam sighed dramatically, not in annoyance but enough to make you laugh. "Absolutely not."

"Fine," you pouted. "I guess we can start with Greece, as long as you agree to wear your orange v-neck again."

#buckysknifecollectionchallenge #sam wilson x reader #angel!sam wilson #demon!reader #sam wilson one shot #sam wilson fanfiction #sam wilson fanfic #sam wilson fic #angel au #marvel one shots #marvel imagines #marvel fanfiction #marvel fics #sam wilson x you #angel!sam x demon!reader

[booksonablog]

Self-Defense - Johnny Lawrence Imagine Part 1

Summary: Johnny finds out you know a little bit of self-defense, but learns you don’t know enough as you should when trouble ensues when he’s not around.

Author’s Note: I’m in the middle of writing part 2 so stay tuned and enjoy this first part! (Also I tried very hard to create my own gifs and only one managed to work for some reason so bare with me)

It was nine-fifteen in the evening, you were counting the minutes till you could clock out. It’s not that you hated your job, but it surely wasn’t the job of your dreams. It was something to pay the bills while you worked on your career. It was a trendy hipster bar and restaurant, so it wasn’t the worst. The other employees weren’t too bad, really the worst part of the job was the sleazy men that drowned themselves in liquor and harassed the customers and workers. Your manager had his fair share of jerks he had to kick out, but the past couple months remained enjoyable.

You handed the drink menus to your last table, two young men on a guys night out. You headed back to the bar when you caught eyes with a handsome blonde walking through the doors. He nodded to the hostess, pointing at your direction with a grin on his face. You blushed, making your way behind the bar. He claimed a seat directly in front of you.

He smirked, “Hi beautiful.”

“Hello handsome.” You leaned on the bar.

“I know you get out at nine-thirty but I couldn’t wait to see you.” He winked.

You blushed, flashing him a flirty grin. From the corner of your eye, you caught the men at your table staring at you. You held up your index finger at Johnny.

“One sec.”

He nodded, not-so casually checking you out as you made your way to the table. He returned his attention to the bar, signaling the bartender.

“Sorry about that, what can I get ya?”

“I’m not sure-” One of the men hesitated, the drink menu still in his hand.

“Well, if you’re looking for something strong, I recommend the ‘Shift Drink.’ It’s mixed with a little rye whiskey and ginger syrup, it’s a classic cocktail. But if you’re looking for something sweeter, I’d recommend ‘The Blood and Sand.’ It’s mixed with both orange juice and sweet vermouth. Or the ‘Peach Blood and Sand,’ replacing the orange juice with peach flavoring. Do you like peach?”

“Well -” the man started, completely ignoring your spiel.

“I do.” His friend added, his hand grazing your butt in admiration. You jumped at the touch, though you weren’t the only one. Johnny had turned right at the moment the man put his hand on you, causing him to jump out of his seat, making a beeline towards the table. Meanwhile, you had instinctively grabbed the man by his wrist, pulling it up and towards his back, slamming his head on the table. The commotion shook the restaurant, everyone now staring. Johnny had stopped in his tracks at the scene.

You bent down to the man’s ear. “If you ever lay a hand on me again I’ll break your fucking arm.” You whispered with gritted teeth. Your manager tapped your shoulder, you whipped your head, still in fight mode. He gave you the signal to take off a few minutes early. You released the man’s arm, turning back towards the bar. Johnny gently reached for your arm as you passed him. You looked up, completely oblivious to how close he was to the scene.

“You okay?”

You nodded. “Just gonna get my jacket.” He nodded back, walking towards the bar as you made your way to the backroom.

He reached for his wallet, paying for his drink and tipping the bartender while he waited. You were slipping your arms in your jacket as you made your way over to Johnny. He shoved his wallet in his back pocket, you slipped your arm between his. He peered down at you with a small smile before the two of you exited the restaurant.

***

Throughout the car ride and on the way to your door, the two of you had joked about the situation at the restaurant.

“Who would’ve thought that the sweetest angel in the world could break a man’s arm.” The two of you laughed, arriving at the front of your door. You turned to face him.

“But seriously babe, where did that come from?” He grinned with intrigue.

You shrugged. “YouTube I guess. Ever since I got this job, I thought it would be crucial to learn self-defense, even if it’s just a move or two.”

Well,” He started with a teasing smirk plastered on his face,  “I wouldn’t wanna fight you, you’re pretty feisty.”

You blushed with a laugh, pushing him playfully before pulling him into a kiss.

***

- Several Weeks Later -

“Have a good night!” You hollered to the clerk, the door closing behind you with a ring. You had made a quick run to the mini-mart for some milk, it was only a few blocks away from your apartment so you chose to walk rather than waste gas. It was late, pushing nine o’clock. You quickly realized it may not have been the best idea to walk alone at night, especially in such a dimly lit area. You pulled your phone out of your purse to call Johnny, his voice alone made you feel at ease.

Back at the dojo, Johnny was wrapping up with his students.

“Fight!”

Before Mitch could take a second step, Hawk had kicked him halfway off the mat. In the backroom, Johnny's phone vibrated on his desk, the screen illuminating your name.

You sighed, pulling the phone away from your face. The sound of footsteps echoed behind you. You listened closely, your eyes wide. The sound matched yours, same pace, same route, with the exception of the weight the sound carried. You redialed Johnny’s number.

“Alright now I don’t wanna hear any bitchin’ or moanin’ about feeling sore in the morning. You’re here to work hard and be badass.” His phone continued to be ignored as he wrapped up his session.

You held the phone to your face, hoping it would appear as if someone was on the other line. You dared to turn your head only to find no one behind you. You slowly turned your head, eyes wandering over the environment behind you. You turned - smack - you collided with the chest of a tall man towering over you. You quickly backstepped. Two heavy hands wrapped around your arms from behind you. You jumped with a shriek, the screen of your phone cracked as it hit the ground, the carton of milk exploded over the concrete. The man in front of you grinned before taking his steps towards you.

Miguel was the last to leave the dojo, like most nights. Johnny made his way to the backroom, closing the door behind him as he changed out of his clothes. He placed his belongings in his bag, grabbing his phone. The device illuminated, exposing two missed calls from you. He dialed your number, pressing his shoulder to his ear as he gathered his bag and locked the back room. He walked across the dojo, your voicemail playing in his ear. Beep

“Hey babe, sorry I missed your call, was wrapping up with the kids. I’m on my way out, I’ll swing by your place -” He shut the lights to the dojo off, locking the door behind him. “I’ll see you soon.” He hung up, opening the door to his Challenger.

***

Johnny had knocked on your door for the second time.

“Babe?” Silence. He sighed, shifting his focus to the outside hallway. He dialed your number again.

Nothing. He pulled his phone down and stared at it. It was past ten, he knew you didn’t work late.

He walked down the steps, starting to feel the heat rise in his chest as he grew to wonder where you were. He figured you’d probably call him by the time he reached his place.

***

He stared at his phone on the kitchen counter. He took another swig of beer and nearly choked at the rapid knocking on his door. He sped to the door and opened it to see one of the most heartbreaking sights he’s encountered. There you were, trembling at his door. Tears had stained your scratched cheeks, a dark bruise covered your right cheekbone, blood peaked behind your hair from the corner of your head. Your lip, cut, quivered in humiliation and terror. Johnny pulled you in his apartment, as if the action would protect you from further pain.

He turned to you, his throat drying up. He swallowed, “Who did this to you?” He asked in a low but stern voice.

“Johnny-” You choked.

“Babe - please, just tell me who and where the hell they are right now.” He demanded, anger rising. He didn’t bother to ask if you were okay as you clearly weren’t, he thought the quicker he learns about what happened, the faster he’ll get to catching these guys.

“I-I don’t know, I was walking -”

“Where??”

“The Mini-Mart-”

“You were walking to the Mini-Mart?!”

“I needed milk.” You said sheepishly, your voice started to crack.

“Why didn’t you just tell me!?”

“I didn’t want to bother you - you were working!” You shouted back, tears starting to form.

“And look what happened!!”

“Johnny please-” You started to cry, your hand covering your mouth.

His heart shattered. Realizing he was making everything worse he pulled you into his chest.

“I’m sorry.” He rubbed your back. Having you cry into his chest made his eyes start to water.

***

Once the tears had settled, Johnny had led you to his bathroom where he helped clean you up. He had you lean on the counter as he dabbed the blood off your face with a washcloth. You sniffled, hiccups still lingering. You watched as he focused on rinsing the cloth. He bent down to you again, moving his hand to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him so he could plant a kiss to your forehead. He looked you in the eyes as if to ask how you were doing. You nodded, unable to muster a sympathetic smile. He showed his instead and kissed you gently on the lips. He left to his room, returning with his Zebra shirt, your favorite. You accepted the offer and sat up as he removed himself from the bathroom.

You were folding your clothes, crossing over to his bedroom when you caught him by the front door, putting on his black leather jacket.

“Where are you going?” Concern in your voice.

He walked over to you, sympathy written over his face. He gently wrapped his calloused hand over your soft ones.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” The two of you knew what he was planning to do after you were calm enough to describe the men and everything that happened.

“Johnny-” You shook your head with worry.

“Babe-”

“No!” You squeezed his hand, tugging them towards you.

His face fell, watching your emotions untangle once more.

“Please Johnny-” You shook your head, voice breaking as tears started to fall. “Don’t leave me.” You hiccuped.

To hear the sincerity and fear in your voice was all it took to convince him to stay.

He looked down, partially ashamed. He nodded, looking back at you. He stepped forward and gently swiped his thumb over your cheek.

“I’m not gonna leave you.”

***

You were sound asleep in Johnny’s bed resting your head on his chest. He, on the other hand, was wide awake. He caressed your hair and continued to stare at the ceiling. He was trying not to grow too angry as he thought about what you had told him. The thought of someone violently harassing you and to learn it was two men, boiled his blood. He wanted so badly to slip out of the apartment, find the men responsible and kick their ass. But he couldn’t betray your trust, he told you he would stay, so he will.

Hope you enjoyed this part, stay tuned for part 2! 💕

#johnny lawrence imagine #cobra kai imagine #william zabka imagine #cobra kai fanfic #Johnny Lawrence fanfic #billy zabka #billy zabka imagine #fanfiction #imagine #fan fiction blog #imagine blog #cobra kai headcanon #Johnny Lawrence headcanon #headcanon

[aka-indulgence]

Hey, this hasn’t happened in a long time. Stress headache for writing. Guess its time to write a small fluff once again,

Also with my favorite skeletons because I want multiple skeletons shhhhh it’s just pure self-indulgence without any rhyme or reason to why anything happens...

Ice cream. Cookies. Milk. Chips. Chocolate bars.

All things that you shove into your basket as you walk around the convenient store with a scowl on your face, biting your lip so you don’t scream and cause everyone around you to think you’re crazy. You’re just getting everything you think you want, to treat yourself after feeling so... so... much!

You feel your heart speed up just thinking about it and you squeeze the handles of the basket hard enough that it starts to bend.

Ugh, I just wanna go HOME, you cry in your head as you wait in line.

You’re just stopping yourself from tapping your foot restlessly when your eyes spot a surprise near the registers.

Candy cigarettes?

...

Oh what the hell.

You throw them into the basket too. You’ve never tried it, but it looks like something fun to show at home and surprise the guys.

You put up a pleasant face for the cashier (no need to make a retailer’s job even more miserable) and happily decline the plastic bag. One good thing that happened today: you remembered your reusable bag!

It’s certainly something? To cool your temper.

You walk out and you’re back to walking fast to get home as fast as possible, almost checking shoulders with people when you think the ones in front of you are walking too slow for your current mood. You see your home in the distance, thank god, and make a little sprint towards it, half-hoping a little bit of TLC once you’re there.

You peek in the window as you go to the door, and though you don’t see anyone, you shrug and attempt to bowl over the door, only to curse up a storm when you find that it’s locked, of course. After more hissing and quiet yelling at the handle that dare get in the way your angry relaxation time at home, you shuffle your keys out, haphazardly unlock the door and slip inside- slamming the door just a little harder than you should’ve and march towards the sofa.

(After throwing your jacket, your shoes and socks, and your whole bag on the floor next to the door.)

“(y/n)...?” You hear Snow’s voice from the kitchen as you throw yourself into the cushions, bouncing a bit while the contents of your bags jumped with you.

“Hey Snow,” You say while you make a “pbbbff...” noise with your lips, turning on the TV to look for... you don’t know what, just something to take your mind off things.

Just his voice cools your chest.

You take out the bag of chips and rip it clumsily, with some of the chips tumbling out of it and onto the floor. You make another exasperated noise but make no move to clean up the mess, instead choosing to shove a mouthful of chips into your mouth.

(To be honest, you’re not even properly eating the chips. Just... biting it harder than you needed to, making more of an angry mess on your crinkled shirt.)

Maybe you’re doing it to get attention, you don’t know. You just feel so “aaeghegshrg”.

Thankfully, you didn’t have to make even more of a fool out of yourself, and you see a shadow fall over you from behind.

You sigh when your frustrations simmer down at just the idea of him being there for you... you really weren’t the kind to hold onto anger for too long.

“is... something the matter...?” Snow’s gentle voice comes from behind you, soothing you even more.

You make another sigh, but you look up to him with tired eyes. “Yeah. But it’s hard to say... I’m just not in a good mood... sorry.” You apologize bashfully, feeling silly when you see the mess you’ve made. You hear Snow chuckle, his deep voice shaking your core, making you want to drown in it. The big skeleton rounds the sofa and sits beside you (where the bag isn’t), and his weight pulls you a bit towards him.

“don’t be sorry.” He smiles at you, his sockets crinkled. “is there... anything i can do...?”

Feeling his warmth right there, you start leaning into his chest. “You’re already doing plenty. Just having you here makes me sleepy.” You titter. “Uh. Not in the bad way, I just... I feel relaxed already. I think I’m just tired, I don’t wanna feel... I dunno, spiky?”

“isn’t that red’s thing?”

The new voice surprises you enough to blink your eyes open (you really were starting to doze off on Snow’s chest) and sit up. You look to the darkened hallway (as the sun was setting and the lights haven’t been turned on yet), and see a pair of white lights, until you see the blue-clad skeleton that emerges out of the shadows. It’d be a good horror movie scene if he didn’t look so.... like Sans. Relaxed grin, lazy sockets, slouching a bit, pink slippers shuffling against the floor.

“hey...” Sans starts, his eyelights darting to the chips on the floor. “my little shoulder-chip. what’s wrong?”

“she said she feels... spiky,” Snow repeats as you nibble on a big chip, letting his knuckles ghost your cheek. You don’t say a thing, so he keeps on going.

“mind if i make some space?” Sans points to the bag and you make a little nod, and Sans moves it to the coffee table and sits beside you.

“I dunno... i’ve just been feeling like... this,” You say emphatically, pointing to the chip in your hand. “I feel... like a potato. Just... I dunno... stuck? I don’t know, I just feel,” you make vague, aggressive hand gestures in the air, and slump back down. “Like that,”

Sans takes a breath to say something, but you’re all suddenly aware of the sound of a... clang?? Somewhere outside the house, a door being thrown open.... the heavy steps of feet as someone’s running towards you-

“ilikepotatoes.” Red’s voice suddenly breaks into the room, as all three of you turn your heads around to where he is in the hallway, panting and sweating a bit, his grin a bit too wide with his eyelights dilated in his sockets. He’s sweating.

“Red... how,” You breathe, “Did you even hear that?? Also why did you run here?”

“... dramatic effect?” Red shrugs as he saunters easily to the sofa. “anyways, what i’m saying is,” He says as he folds his arm on the back of the sofa behind you, “i like potatoes. in fact i jus’ love to eat ‘em.”

He bounces his brows at you. “what i’m sayin’ is, if yer a potato, i’d love to-”

“oh my god shut up red,” Sans covers his face with both of his hands, apparently blue in the face from embarassment.

“ey i’m tryna make the girl blush what’re ya-?”

“that’s so stupid i’m getting second hand embarrassment,”

“oh fuck you.”

The exchange gets a giggle out of you, and all three skeletons get a spark in their eyelights.

“Ok, so I’ve been feeling pretty... ehhh today, but this is turning things around,” You smile, looking at the dumbasses while you lean on Snow.

“that’s good to know,”

“i aim t’ please, sweetheart.”

Snow sits up a bit more, bringing you with him, and points to the plastic bag on the table. “so... what’s all that?”

“Oh,” you blush a little, feeling a bit embarrassed for all the things you’ve bought. “It was... an impulse thing. i wasn’t feeling so great, so I wanted to buy everything I wanted to eat. There’s ice cream, candy, chips, just... a bunch of snacks. Oh, I also found candy cigarettes in the store,”

“what,” Red immediately sounds behind you, his smug expression now just a baffled huh???

“the fuck’s candy cigarettes? d’ya... smoke candy ‘r some shit?” Red asks incredulously, prompting a hearty laugh from you. “aw c’mon doll i gotta know!”

“Well,” you start to explain-

“humans’re weird.” Sans says plainly, fishing out said snack from the bag.

He gives it a shake, and you see Red’s eyelights dilate at the sound.

“I mean, don’t pretend like monsters aren’t,” you say as you take the box out of Sans’ hands, “this aren’t like actual cigarettes, Red. They’re just candies that look like cigarettes, so when you put them in your mouth to eat it it looks like you’ve got a cigarette in your mouth. They also have powders inside of them you can inhale and exhale so it looks like smoke... I read kids used to love them exactly for that reason? i don’t know what they taste like,”

You took one more look at the packing and tilt your head. “Oh... it’s chocolate cigarettes, so this one’s just... milk chocolate in the shape of a cigarette,”

“c’mon open ‘em, i’ve never seen ya with a cig darlin’,” Red chuckles, a playful expression on his skull.

You take out the old-timey box and open it. Inside as about 12 “cigarettes” all wrapped in paper. The chocolate sticking out of the ends does make it look like a cigarette. You pull it out and look at the three skeletons, expectations on their faces...

And you stick it into your mouth, moving away from Snow to sit back on the couch and put on your most stereotypical “criminal look” as you put your arms on the back of the couch and fold your leg over the other.

...

“Ey...” you say with a hint of confusion, taking out the chocolate to blow nothing into the air.

“HAH-” Red barks out behind you, slapping his teeth with his bony hand with a clack, doubling over behind the sofa while his shoulders bounced erratically, wheezing as he tries to hold in his laugh.

His absolute giddiness at seeing you with a “cigarette” in your mouth only makes the rest of you giggle and chortle, unrestrained, and the cigarette almost pokes into your throat when you accidentally breathed the whole stick into your mouth.

“Pweh-” You spit out the cigarette (it still had the paper on!) and laugh when you see Red, still unable to pull himself together as he looks like he’s actually struggling to breathe. “It wasn’t that funny!” You tell him, but your own chest is shaking when you see how Red looks like he’s dying.

“i... ha, i don’t fuck’n know!” Red unfolds himself and puts a hand on his chest as he tries to control himself. “i didn’t expect ya t’ say ‘ey...’ heheh... hehahah!”

You unwrap the chocolate from its papery confines and pop it in your mouth, biting it in two so you could chew on it. You take deep breaths before you swallow to make sure you don’t choke on it.

“gimme one of those,” Red reaches over you and takes a cigarette, propping it in between his teeth. He then proceeds to take a few steps back, leaning against the wall. He closes his sockets as he takes a “hit” and makes... the weirdest shape with his mouth (like he was trying to close his ‘lips’ while he was trying to withhold a smile) and makes a pout to exaggerate him “blowing smoke out”. He then keeps that weird mouth shape as he lids his sockets (one was lower than the other what the fuck,) and you watch the edges of his grin bend upwards.

“eyyyYYyyYy.” Red says, mimicking you.

You practically end up crying from how stupid everything is (why are you even laughing? It’s not supposed to be funny!) and the four of you end up on the couch poking fun at each other while eating all the snacks you’ve bought, until eventually Snow stands up to make a real meal for the lot of you.

You forget all about your stresses for the rest of the night, and even fall asleep with a smile on your face.

#stress relief #its probably #not good #dsjflg #but im stressed #because i want to write #but i cant #which makes me more stressed #which makes me not write even more #and #jeksldfl #well here you go #sansxreader #its ut uf and ht btw #because i like them #might be related to the crasher #but not canon #probably #i laugh at stupid things im sorry #to the point that im crying dsfjlg

[hookedonapirate]

Trick or Treat

A/N: It feels so great to post again. I've been in a writing slump for several weeks now, so I wanted to write something short and sweet to get the writing juices flowing. Thank you @hollyethecurious for your ideas for the premise and @darkcolinodonorgasm for Killian’s costume!

Rated: Teen and up for mature language

“Well, that’s disturbing.” Emma grimaces at the zombie gnome with gnarly teeth, reaching out with dirt and blood covered hands like he's coming out of the ground to get them. Even though it's not real, the graphics are enough to give a kid nightmares.

 “That’s so cool, Mommy!”

 Well, any kid who’s not her seven-year-old son that is. Henry runs down the sidewalk, his oversized hat falling off his head. He’s a ball of energy most days, but tonight, he’s extra energetic, and he hasn’t even had any candy yet.

 “Kid, your hat!” She follows after him, picking up his hat from the winding walkway which is lined with jack-o'-lanterns on each side. But as she passes each one, she’s surprised when she realizes these aren’t just typical jack-o'-lanterns with a mouth, nose and eyes carved into them. No, these are intricately crafted jack-o'-lanterns. One is carved into a haunted house, one is a graveyard full of ghosts, another looks like a skull from afar, but up close, it appears to be carved into long stem mushrooms and grass. Her favorite is the pumpkin carving that mimics a scene from the Nightmare Before Christmas. 

 Like seriously, who has time to carve out all these pumpkins? And why weren’t the Jack-o'-lanterns on display as she had seen at the Night of 1,000 Jack-o'-lanterns at the Chicago Botanic Garden? Whoever carved these has some ridiculous artistic talent. They are also way too into Halloween, because their yard is all decked out. There are games set up on tables in the yard, skeletons and ghosts hanging from the trees and tombstone yard signs all over. 

 As she walks up the steps to the house, fake fog sweeps around her feet, the porch is covered in fake cobwebs with large spiders and the porch railing is lined with decorated jars, “potions”, skulls and other Halloween themed knickknacks. She laughs at the potion bottle labeled, “love potion.” When she reaches the door, which is wide open, a group of kids in cute costumes gathered around waiting for treats, she’s expecting the three looney witches from Hocus Pocus to emerge from the house. 

 When a man in a black top hat, tailcoat and a cane appears through the door with a bowl full of candy, she realizes how wrong she is. 

 Boy, is she wrong.

 Holy shit, he’s gorgeous. His skin looks ghostly white from the makeup on his face and he's wearing a brown curly mustache, but those vivid blue eyes are so very blue, even in the dark and under the hat he’s wearing. She’s afraid those eyes will set her on fire when he looks at her.

 “Trick or treat!” the children chorus. 

 Emma can’t take her eyes off the man as he excitedly hands out candy.

 “I love your costume, lassie,” he compliments a little girl who's wearing an Elsa costume.

 He has an accent? Holy hell.

 The little girl frowns, clearly not understanding what he meant by lassie. “I’m not a dog, I’m Elsa.”

 He chuckles, dropping a candy bar into her pumpkin bucket. “My apologies, Elsa. Please don’t blast me with ice.”

 “Thank you, mister,” she says cheerfully before scurrying down the steps to meet her parents at the end of the walkway. 

 “Trick or treat!”

 The man looks toward the small voice, seeing Henry approaching him. He grins big and wide, which makes him look much creepier than he already looks in his costume. Creepy, but sexy. “Well, hi there. Captain Hook, I presume?”

 Henry nods his head and opens his Halloween sack, using his plastic hook to hold one of the straps.

 “Very nice costume, lad. My favorite one so far.”

 “Thank you. I made it,” Emma boasts with a smile as she steps behind her son, placing the hat on his head. She’s not normally one to brag, but then again bragging doesn’t normally afford her the opportunity to talk to ridiculously handsome strangers.

 The man looks up, and when his eyes finally connect with hers, he completely steals her breath. She was wrong. His smoldering blue eyes don’t set her on fire, but they do make her melt.

 And his heavy stare makes her skin tingle.

 “You made this lovely costume?”

 She waves her hand nonchalantly. “It was easy. Just took a red, long-sleeved shirt, some ribbon and slapped some red felt and white feathers on a straw hat and voila.”

 “Very impressive, lass.” He glances at her shirt briefly before returning his eyes to hers. “Did you also make your costume?” he asks, his eyes dancing with mirth. He must have been referring to her red leather jacket and white t-shirt that reads, “This IS my Halloween costume.”

 Emma laughs. “No, I bought it on Amazon.” 

 “Wow, Mom, check this out! Full-size candy bars!” Henry shouts excitedly when the stranger deposits the candy bar into his sack.

 Emma tears her eyes from this man’s mesmerizing blue ones to see the full-size Snickers bar Henry’s holding out to show her. “Huh, people actually do give out full-size candy bars.” She looks up at the man. “I’m impressed. Let me guess, you also carved those pumpkins, too?” she asks, pointing to the pumpkins in his yard.

 He nods with a small smile. “I did. You’d be amazed by what I can do with these hands,” he says smugly.

 Emma wants to roll her eyes, but she can’t deny she very much wishes to find out exactly what he can do with those hands. Instead, she flashes a sarcastic smirk. “So who are you supposed to be, Jack the Ripper?” 

 He chuckles. “Not quite. I’m a gentleman from the Victorian Era. A devilishly handsome gentleman, may I add.”

 She cocks a brow, laughter bubbling in her throat. “If by a  devilishly handsome gentleman, you mean creepy.”

 He sets down the candy bowl and surprises her when he takes her hand in his and lowers his head, murmuring softly as he looks up at her. “The name’s Killian Jones. And it just so happens, I’m always a gentleman. Not just on Halloween.” His touch sears her skin, then he presses his lips to the back of her hand and it feels like electrical currents are surging through her. Her breath catches, and she’s worried he will notice. Judging by the smirk spreading across her skin, he definitely noticed.

 Emma turns her head, looking for her son, whom she spots in the yard playing games with the other kids, their parents supervising them. “I should get back to my son.”

 This man actually pouts as he releases her hand. And it’s freaking adorable. “I told you my name and yet you haven't told me yours?”

 She bites her bottom lip, contemplating whether she should or not. But then again, what’s the harm? It is a small town, so they’ll probably end up running into each other again at some point. “It’s Emma.”

 He grins, making her heart melt. “Nice to meet you, Emma.”

 “Likewise.” 

 He scratches behind his ear, which makes him look less creepy and even more adorable. “I’ve never seen you before. Are you new in town?”

 “I’m from Chicago.”

 “Well, love, welcome to Storybrooke.”

  Oh. Now he’s calling her love? Can this man get any sexier? Jesus Christ. “Thank you.” She gives him a shy smile and turns to head down the steps.

 “Wait. Before you go, I have a treat for you, too.” 

 She spins around, arching her brow. “Oh, that’s okay. Henry will share some of his candy with me.”

 He chuckles and shakes his head. “This treat is not for kids.”

 Emma gulps. “What kind of treat did you have in mind?” Something salty? Her mind definitely did not go into the gutter there. Okay, it totally did. 

 He heads inside, then returns not a moment later with a caramel apple. 

 “A caramel apple?” She almost sounds disappointed. But she’s definitely not.

 “Aye, but not just any caramel apple. It’s an adult caramel apple. So make sure you don’t share this with your lad.”

 She eyes it suspiciously. “It’s not laced with love potion, is it?”

 He chuckles and leans closer, whispering in her ear. “No. But it is laced with cannabis-infused butter.”

 Emma smirks as she takes the caramel apple. “Wow, you really go all out on Halloween, don’t you?”

 He shrugs. “You should come back around Christmas.”

 “Oh God, you’re not one of those people who goes completely crazy with the Christmas lights and the decorations and Santa and his reindeer on the roof, are you?”

 He shrugs again, donning a smirk. “Guess you’ll have to wait and find out.”

 “Is that an invitation?” Because she's definitely not thinking about inviting him to get high and engage in hot, sweaty sex with her. Not at all.  

 “Perhaps. Do you and your son enjoy hot cocoa and watching Christmas movies in front of a cozy fireplace?”

 She eyes the caramel apple and then glances up at him. “Does Santa enjoy adult cookies with his milk?”

 His grin widens, making her heartbeat skyrocket out of her chest. “Aye, then it’s a date.”

 Emma rolls her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. “Not a date.” She doesn’t like the idea of waiting until Christmas to see him again, though.

 His face clouds with guilt. Sorry, love, I just didn't see a wedding ring on your finger so I assumed-”

 “I'm not married,” she clarifies, her cheeks flushing because of the fact that he was curious enough to check her hand for a ring. “Nor do I have a boyfriend. I'm single.” Very single. She's never been so glad to be single before.

 He sighs in relief, which gives her the courage to say what's on her mind and to thankfully change the subject.

 “You know, adult cookies aren’t just for Christmas...”

 He cocks his brow, and good Lord, she really needs him to stop doing that, because it’s doing things to her breathing and her heart. “No? What other special occasions are they for?”

 She shrugs. “Like a Saturday night, say next week when my parents are taking Henry for the weekend.”

 His eyes flash with something she can only describe as excitement. Or anticipation, maybe? “But still not a date, right?”

 She shakes her head. “Nope, just two adults enjoying their adult cookies.” 

 He laughs. “Okay, I’ll bring the apple cider.”

 “Sounds like a date,” she says accidentally when she had meant to say Sounds like a plan. But she doesn't even bother correcting herself as her cheeks warm with blush. She backs away and manages to rip her eyes from him to turn around and head down the steps. She finds Henry playing a game with the kids and takes his hand, telling him it’s getting late. He leaves with a groan but doesn't make a fuss. 

 As they leave the yard, Emma turns around, getting one last glimpse of the devilishly handsome Victorian gentleman. He winks and smiles at her, making her heart stutter, and she blushes and walks away as she leaves with her son.

  She had doubts when she moved to this small town to start over, but the warm feeling in her chest is telling her perhaps coming to Storybrooke wasn't a bad idea after all.

Tagging a few people who might be interested in reading:

@kmomof4 @teamhook @ilovemesomekillianjones @onceuponaprincessworld @artistic-writer @nikkiemms @snowbellewells @donteattheappleshook @itsfabianadocarmo​ @searchingwardrobes​ @melly326​

#cs ff #captain swan #halloween

[baroquebucky]

tiny marshmallows

a/n: i got this idea from a book i read a long time ago and i remembered this scene last night and i had to write it with bucky! let me know what u guys think <3 requests for marvel characters are open !

masterlist

Bucky was a puzzling person to say the least. No matter how hard you tried, you could never figure out where his head was at. When you thought you knew him and had him all figured out he would do a full 180 and you’d be back at square one. You both talked quite frequently, you would consider the super soldier a friend, but you weren’t sure if he would say the same.

You slipped on your raincoat and headed out the door, upset that the whole compound forgot to buy a box of hot chocolate, despite you definitely texting steve to add it to the list. You ran towards your car, getting your shoes wet and the bottom of your jeans slightly damp as you ran through a puddle.

After a couple of minutes you arrived at the grocery store, heading straight for the box of hot chocolate packets. As you grabbed the box you smiled to yourself and snatched a bag of tiny marshmallows as well. After braving the storm once more and running back to your car, your teeth were chattering and your hair was dripping.

As you arrived back to the compound you decided to hide the box and the marshmallows until the perfect occasion came, but you couldn’t wait that long. So instead you made sure to schedule a movie night in a couple of hours. That would give you time to shower change and make everyone a cup of hot chocolate. You smiled and sent out the message, going to your room to kill some time and change.

As the time for movie night neared you headed down to the main area of the compound to make the hot chocolate, lining up all the mugs and getting them ready. You put the tiny marshmallows in all of them, stopping at Buckys.

Would he like them? I mean yeah he would who doesn’t. Right? He’s so tough and such a hardass, you’d only seen him smile once when sam almosy fell off the roof doing a dare- that is not tiny marshmallow personality. You decided against it and as everyone trickled down from their rooms you handed them a mug, smiling as they all gave you a thank you and hugged you.

Bucky was the last one to come down, he almost walked past you but you noticed the glint of his metal arm as he walked past the lights.

“oh bucky! Here i made everyone hot chocolate” you spoke softly, handing him the mug with puppies on it. He felt his heart swell with adoration as your cheeks grew pink when you realized the mug you had given him.

“I didn’t realize- i mean there were no other ones left, i can go switch it out im sorry” you rambled, attempting to take back the puppy mug.

“no don’t worry i love it” he spoke softly and you smiled, you heart skipping a beat as you soaked in how charming he looked.

“okay” you breathed out softly, walking away biting your bottom lip to keep you from smiling too hard. As you grabbed your own mug, you placed it on the coffee table, going to stand infront of the screen to tell the team what they were about to watch.

“okay we are about to watch the best Disney princess movie, any guesses?” You spoke up, pointing at Sam who looked confident.

“frozen” he smirked and you shook your head, warning a gasp from him. You pointed at Steve who looked at you quizzically “mulan?” you shook your head once again, earning protests from Wanda and Natasha.

“I said movie not princess” you smirked, causing the women to nod and look at you approvingly.

“No more guesses? Cmon guys!” You smiled widely at everyone, excited to subject everyone to your favorite princess movie.

“tangled” you heard bucky whisper. Your whole body lit up and you ran to hug him without thinking twice.

“yes! Tangled! Prepare to watch poetic cinema and fall in love with Flynn rider” you spoke, squealing as you hit play and sat between Steve and Wanda.

“you got marshmallows?” bucky whispered to Sam looking from him own mug to his friends mug. “Yeah you didn’t?” He asked, looking at Buckys mug and noticing the lack of the fluffy sugar bombs.

Bucky frowned slightly, was he not to level for your tiny marshmallows? He shook the thoughts away as he saw you mouthing the words to the scene, smiling when you caught bucky staring at you. Bucky turned bright red and he was very thankful it was dark.

As the lantern scene came on bucky couldn’t help but look at you as you watched in awe. A small smile playing your lips as the couple on the screen sang.

The words rang through Bucky’s ears, his heart beating fast as he realized his feelings for you. While the rest of the team was falling in love with Flynn Rider singing, Bucky fell in love with you softly singing along.

As the movie continued Bucky grew more and more nervous. What the hell was he gonna do? You were one of the few people that Bucky actually was friends with, and now he’s gonna mess it all up because he has feelings for you.

Bucky excused himself from the movie, slipping out with his now empty mug, heading towards his room. He stopped at the kitchen, putting his mug in the sink and closing his eyes for a second to set his mind straight. Did he really like you or was his mind just playing tricks on him?

Since the moment he got to the compound you were sweet to him, always offering to help him, trying to coax him to do more things and live in the moment. You were always there for him, but he was too scared to fully let you in. Yet, there you were always trying to get in, knocking at the door of his heart.

“Bucky? Are you okay? You walked out of the movie” you spoke up, scaring the super soldier slightly as he jumped at the sudden voice in the silence.

“what? oh yeah I’m okay, just tired is all” he gave you a tight smile and you furrowed your brows at him, coming closer the the tall man.

“no you aren’t, i saw you tearing up and then smiling, that’s not what you do when you’re tired” you looked at him, scanning his whole body to check if he was okay physically before finally settling your gaze on his face. You took in the light stubble on his chin and cheeks, the crinkles by his eyes and the now slightly long hair that had grown out since his last haircut.

“i just need to think about some stuff, by myself” he spoke, avoiding your gaze. You felt your heart sink a little. Bucky never skipped your movie nights. Even when he had a mission where he had to leave at 4 a.m. Bucky stayed up until 2:30 a.m. watching Marley & Me and sniffling besides you.

“oh- I’ll leave you then” you spoke softly, turning on your heel and walking back to where everyone else wat he’d the movie intently. Bucky let out a sigh as he searched high and low for the tiny marshmallows, maybe you had run out of them.

As he opened the furthest cabinet and bent over he saw the small bag of the sweet stuff, his heart sinking as he closed it and went to his room.

The weather grew warmer and warmer as time passed and you had yet to make more hot chocolate since the last movie night a week ago. You and bucky had talked since the last encounter, you had brushed it off and gone back to your cheery self towards him, he kept to himself a little more.

It was around 1 in the morning when you realized how badly you wanted some hot chocolate. You quietly and quickly got out of your bed, slipping on some fuzzy socks and going down to the kitchen area, grabbing your marshmallows where you kept them hidden and a pack of instant hot chocolate. As you heated the milk up and watched your show on your phone you heard someone coming down the steps.

You lifted your attention from the screen and paused it, waiting to see who was to join you this late at night. You saw the familiar pair of sweats and smiled internally. Instinctively going to fix your head and checking your reflection to see how you looked.

“why are you up this late?” You questioned the metal armed soldier and he gave you a small smile.

“couldn’t sleep” he responded, looking at the mug you had on the counter and taking note of the milk in the microwave. “making hot chocolate?” You smiled at him and nodded.

“want some?” You asked, already reaching for a mug and another pack of hot chocolate.

“yeah sure why not” he looked at you softly as you grabbed milk out of the fridge, taking out your now warmed milk and pouring it in his mug. You glanced at the tiny marshmallows and thought about putting them in, once again deciding he was too tough for that.

“is it- can i-” Bucky sputtered, his cheeks heating up and he took a deep breath in and exhaled. “can i have some marshmallows? I really love them in hot chocolate” he spoke, pink dusting his cheeks and his ears growing extremely hot.

You blushed and a wide smile spread across your face. “of course! sorry i just never added them because- uh yeah” you cut yourself off, not wanting him to get mad at you.

“why? you can tell me i can keep a secret” he smiled and winked at you as you added a handful and then some of marshmallows to his cup.

“i just- i thought since you’re so intimidating you wouldn’t like something like tiny marshmallows” you mumbled, looking at the floor and trying to avoid his gaze at you.

Buckys heart sank for a second before he felt his chest swell with love for you. He smiled softly at the way you were fiddling with a ring on your finger and how you shifted your weight onto one leg.

“you think I’m intimidating?” Bucky asked, a small smile still playing upon his lips. You looked at him and nodded your head, looking for any sign of sadness or negative emotions.

“I mean it’s not like you’re the easiest person to warm up to, one time i said hi to you and a second later i heard your metal arm whir- i thought you were gonna beat me up” you looked at him, your brows furrowed as he continued to smile at you.

“doll i would never hurt you” he spoke, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “between me and you, you’re my favorite person in the compound” he smiled at you and you blushed, a shy smile covering your face as you looked up and into his blue eyes.

“had i known the best assassin in the world was into tiny marshmallows i would’ve never taken him seriously” you joked, adding more marshmallows to his cup, an attempt to make up for the ones you hadn’t given him before.

As time passed you and bucky grew closer, sharing cups of hot chocolate, full to the brim with tiny marshmallows. The two of you sitting on the roof, your legs swinging off the side of the building while bucky held you tightly, making sure you didn’t fall.

Bucky liked you, so so so much. That’s why he was freezing his ass off on the roof, looking at the stars and the tree line behind the compound with you. That’s why he always made sure there was instant hot chocolate in the compound. That’s why he always made sure that before you walked into the training room he had his muscles flexed.

That’s why he put his mug down and looked at you, taking in a deep breath and trying to stop himself from backing out of this.

“y/n” he began, you turned to face him, smiling at him as he began to talk. “listen I’ve had a crush on you for so long, i didn’t know how deep i was in until that night that we watched tangled. I knew i liked you but it’s so much more than that, i wanna soend all my time with you, i wanna know the little things about you and i want you to know that about me” he paused, searching your face for any sign that he should stop. “I wanna make sure you know that i love tiny marshmallows, and i want to be disgustingly soft with you and-” you leaned in and kissed him, cutting him off.

He pulled back and smiled at you, looking into your eyes, confused but happy. He leaned back in, kissing your lips while his hand rested on the back of your neck. You both smiled into the kiss, laughing when you both pulled away with red faces.

“you were rambling. Figured I’d save you some time and just show you how i felt” you whispered, the two of you still close enough that he could hear you. He nodded and closed his eyes, screwing them shut while he grinned widely.

“does this mean you’ll be my girl?” he asked and you nodded.

“of course you fucking softie” you laughed, biting your bottom lip before throwing your arms around him and burying your face into the crook of his neck.

#bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #soft!bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky fluff #bucky fic

[ererokii]

What Goes Around Comes Around

T. Shouto x Fem! Reader (inspired song fic)

Song: What Goes Around by Justin Timberlake

Warnings: angst, cheating, like one scene of sex (very small scene), characters are 18+

Italics mean flashback

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This is my first fic and my first attempt at writing angst so I’m sorry if this is quite shit and of course it had to be my boy (pls forgive if there are typos). Also big shoutout to @shoutodoki and @shoutosplaything (also thank u for beta reading gabbi) for letting me tag them!

Don’t wanna think about it

Don't wanna talk about it

I’m just so sick about it

I can’t believe it's ending this way

Just so confused about it

Feeling the blues about it

I just can’t do it without ya

Can you tell me is this fair?

14 days

It’s been 14 days since the last time you saw Shouto Todoroki. You refused to acknowledge him as the man that you once loved but deep down inside you knew that you still love him. Everyday your thoughts kept haunting you as if it was a song that kept repeating itself without your permission.

Was I good enough?

Did he not love me anymore?

Could I have known before it happened?

Could it have been fixed?

Maybe I wasn’t putting enough effort?

You thought that your relationship was perfect. Like every other couple, you had your ups and downs. To something as silly as leaving the dirty dishes there or something as serious as miscommunication. Regardless, that was the best relationship you’ve been in for a while. Thought Shouto was the one to be. The one you would spend the rest of your life with. You guys were the It Couple. All your friends would always compliment on your relationship. Soulmates. That’s how everyone described your relationship with Shouto. A bond that could never be broken. The universe bringing two people together to forge the most perfect relationship. That’s what everyone used to say.

Tonight, just like every night you stared up at the ceiling refusing to let sleep take over your body as all you saw was Shouto when you closed your eyes. Laying on the couch, you stared up at the ceiling like you were in a trance, unmoving. The blanket lazily hangs off of the couch as you refused to shield your body from the cold. The unfinished dinner stayed on the granite counter in your kitchen, the half-empty wine bottle laid untouched on your low table. How pathetic you thought to yourself as you let out a weak chuckle and sat up slowly, running a hand through your messy hair. A bang like knock to your door startled you, making you turn your head quickly and could have sworn you almost gave yourself whiplash. “Who in the hell..” you mumbled and stood up, wiping your sweaty palms against your shorts as you made your way to the door, stopping in front of it. You let out a deep sigh and fixed your hair quickly to the best of your ability.

“Who is it?”

“Y/N.”

You let out an indescribable noise as you quickly covered your mouth. Why was he here? What does he need? Is he drunk? Millions of questions raced through your mind. Even with the door separating you two, you could still feel his intense gaze burning holes right through it.

“Y/N please open the door. I just want to talk to you and explain things.”

“There is nothing to talk about Todoroki” you snapped and leaned your forehead against the cool wood. He internally cringed whenever you used his last name. It sounded so foreign to him whenever the word escaped your mouth that he honestly forgot what it sounded like.

“Please all I ask of you is to let me explain”

You let out a low groan and unlocked the door quickly, opening it with force that even Shouto was surprised you would agree to face him.

“Explain?! You’re gonna explain how you oh so magically or you tripped and stuck your dick in another girl’s vagina?! Cause if you have an amazing explanation please be my guess and enlighten me.”

“Y/N come on don’t act like that..”

“No! You have no right to tell me how I should be acting! And don’t you fucking dare call me by my name. We aren’t formal anymore” You snapped and felt tears starting to form. You wouldn’t give him the pleasure to see you cry. Not again.

~~~~

The thought of marrying Shouto has been on your mind for the longest. Being in a relationship for 3 almost 4 years with him was amazing, you were deeply in love with him and you wanted to take the next step.

Recently you noticed a difference in Shouto’s behavior. He lost his loving touch. As time went on you noticed the bridge separating both of you as if it forbade you to meet in the middle once again. It started off small. He would come home later than usual. Yes being a Pro-Hero called for him to be out at unusual times of the night but this didn’t feel right. It wasn’t right.

“Shouto!” You called out from the front of your apartment, slipping on your shoes. “I’m going to be out for a while with Ochako! I shouldn’t be gone too long!”

Silence.

You were met with silence.

A frown formed on your face as you glanced at the man sitting down on the couch, staring down at his phone. ”Shouto?” This time you were met with a grunt. Least it was better than silence. “Did you even listen to what I said?”

“No. What did you say”

Ouch. That hurt.

“I said I was going out. With Ochako” you announced slowly, expecting that he would take notice this time. ”Uh-huh. That's cool.” he mumbled, not looking up from his phone once as a small smile formed on his face. ”Well..okay then I'll see you later then. I love you.”

Once again you were met with silence but this time he lifted his head up to meet your gaze. The look in his eyes looked unrecognized, something you haven't seen since the beginning of your friendship. ”Ok. Stay as long as you want.”

That was some of the red flags you should have taken notice of, but you were so blinded by your love for him that you didn't bring it up.

You told your best friend, Ochako Uraraka about the situation and she simply told you that you were probably overreacting and just needed to speak with the man himself. “Ochako you know he doesn't even acknowledge me anymore. He doesn't say ’I love you’, he's not affectionate anymore and always pushes me away whenever I try to have sex with him. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?”

The brunette girl sitting beside you swirled the red wine in her glass as she stared down at it. ”I really wish I knew the answer for you Y/N-chan. From what it sounds like you just need to sit down and talk with him. It could possibly just be miscommunication.”

”What if he's cheating on me?”

”I'm going to have to stop you right there. Todoroki may be a bit dense at times but he isn't an idiot. If that were the case I would personally go down there and show him that he doesn't mess with the best girl around. In case you didn't notice, you're the best girl.

A weak chuckle escaped your lips as you took the final sip of your wine, relishing the way it went down your throat and left a tangy aftertaste. “Maybe I’ll buy a little something on the way back. Maybe some strawberry milk and soba noodles from his favorite place.”

“I mean you can do or you could just go straight home and talk to him without any bribery.”

A sigh exited your mouth as you placed your now empty glass on her white table. ”I really appreciate that you let me come over”

A smile tugged on her lips as she wrapped her arms around you, hugging you tightly against her smaller frame. “Of course Y/N-Chan! Let me know how it goes after!”

Then that’s how you found yourself in front of your door, reciting a small monologue on how you would approach the man. You opened the door quietly, staying put when you heard the soft creak of the door. “He should be home..” you whispered to yourself as you shut the door behind you once you entered your shared apartment. “All I have to do is approach and speak my mi-“ Black heels? When did you leave black heels here?

You didn’t. The only pair of shoes that were beside the black heels were your white slippers. You felt as if your heart dropped down in the depths of your body. It was a misunderstanding. It had to be.

You began walking towards your room, taking quiet steps despite feeling that your feet were dragging across the floor. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He wasn’t capable of doing that. Right?

Turning the corner to enter the hallway you stopped your motion and stared. Across the hallway was your closed bedroom door. It felt like a journey that hasn’t even begun. Before taking a single step towards your destination, you heard it.

“S-Shouto!”

That was it. The moan. The noise of skin slapping against skin and the creaking of your once shared bed where it was him making you feel that good. Him touching you in a way that no one else could feel his touch. It used to be you. Only you.

“No no no” you repeated like a mantra and walked over quickly only to stop in front of the door, hand resting about the door knob. You were hesitating, but why? You already had your answer. Was it because you were in denial? You thought this was a dream?

Taking a deep breath you grasped the knob and turned it, pushing the door open quietly.

There it was. The scene you always hoped you would never see. Your now ex-boyfriend, drilling some woman into your mattress. Your presence seemed to be ignored by them.

“Fuck baby you fuck me so good!”

“You’re so fucking tight” Shouto grunted and threw his head back and closed his eyes before opening them again, tensing up on once he spotted you standing right behind him. His hips stilled as his hands let go of the woman’s ass.

You couldn’t believe it and started shaking your head in denial

“Y/N this isn’t what it looks like”

“Oh? What is it then huh? I know I’m not fucking blind. I can see what is going on with my own two eyes.”

He got off the bed quickly and grabbed a spare sheet, placing it on top to cover himself up. “Please Y/N” he whispered. He sounded desperate as he reached to grab your hand while taking a step towards you.

“How long has this been going on.”

“What?”

“How long have you been doing this behind my back.”

“...6 months.”

The past 6 months seemed like a lie now. Every kiss. Every touch. Every ‘I love you’ was nothing but a lie. Now, you remembered all the red flags that were thrown your way but your denial got the best of you. The constant fighting, blowing you off on dates to go hang out at ‘Midoriya’s place’ or even ‘Bakugo’s place’. Coming home late even when he wasn't called for work. It all made sense now.

”Baby we can talk about this”

“No!” You snapped and pointed a shaky finger at him. “Do not beg me. I gave you everything I possibly could. I put in all my time and my energy for this relationship and for you to just..” you trailed off and covered your mouth with your hand, suppressing a sob from fleeing. ”You know...instead for future purposes. If you want out of a relationship j-just tell them. Don't cheat on them from behind. And don’t you dare call me that fucking name again.” You said as confident as you could but in reality it was the opposite of confident. Your voice was wavering, your once perfect mascara was running down your face mixed with your tears.

Shouto gulped and clenched the sheet in his hand. “I still love you Y/N.. we can talk this out please. Just give me a chance.” He whispered and looked directly into your eyes. Broken. Torn. Guilty. The look in his eyes seemed to stare right through your soul.

“If you really loved me, you would have never cheated on me in the first place. You would have come up to me and spoken to me how you felt instead of doing this behind my back… I’m going to leave. When I come back, I want you out of my apartment. Take everything you own and leave.”

Is this the way it’s really going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Shoulda known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

Now it’s breaking my heart to watch you run around

Cause I know that you’re living a lie

But that’s ok baby cause in time you will find

What goes around, comes around

~~~~

You shut your eyes tightly as the memory and clenched your fists right by your side.

“I was drunk. I went to a bar right when you left to go visit Uraraka.” Shouto said as he took a small step towards you. It felt like the world was suffocating you.

“A bar? That’s your excuse for cheating on me? Drunk for 6 months? Please. I’m not stupid. I know plenty of men that get ‘drunk’ and they don’t cheat on their significant other. I didn’t expect that coming from your mouth. You disappointed me. You let me down. You made me feel like it was my fault.”

“That’s because it’s not!” He suddenly yelled and you flinched slightly at the sudden change of his tone. He let out a deep sigh and kept going forward till he had you caged between him and the wall inside your apartment. “It was all me. I was stupid. I’m sorry for hurting you..I should have just came up to you and spoke to you how I was feeling. I’m sorry.” He whispered and placed his finger underneath your chin to make you look up at him.

You gulped and felt his intense gaze stare through you. His bi-colored hair tickling the top of your forehead. His face was close to yours, you could feel his hot breath hitting your face as he cupped your cheek.

“I’m afraid of losing you..I don’t want to lose you Y/LN” he whispered into your ear, smiling faintly when he saw you shiver. Even like this, he still had the same effect on you and you loathed it. “We can just forgive and forget.. I’ll make it up to you I promise just please forgive me”

You wanted to. You wanted time to go back and give you what you wanted. A meaningful relationship. Being with Shouto was on your mind everyday as if it was mocking you. You desperately wanted to be in his loving arms again, feeling his body on yours. Now that you were caged behind him, a low level panic started to arise in your body. Could you ever forgive him? How could you forget? What makes this different? What if he does it again?

“She cheated on you didn’t she”

“I’m sorry?”

“I said, she cheated on you. Didn’t she?”

His quietness was all you needed as your answer. You shook your head and looked up at him, stroking his scar gently with your thumb.

“And you felt if you came back to me thinking I’ll let you back huh? You think that because she cheated on you it’ll make us relate on a different level and make everything better right? How’d it feel? It felt horrible huh? Like your heart was being ripped into two then stomped on.”

Shouto growled faintly and gripped your shoulders a bit tighter, opening his mouth to say something but you interrupted him.

“No. I’m not done fucking talking. I cried. I cried and cried for your sorry ass. You and I are not feeling the same type of pain. I loved you. She didn’t. I..I still love you” you whispered the last part under your breath

Shouto sucked in air as he tensed up. Time seemed to stop as the earth stilled. No one said anything. You missed the silence with him. Under different circumstances you would have enjoyed it. “You..you still love me?”

“Course I still love you!” You cried out and pushed him off of you, walking towards him as he kept backing up with each step you took. “But I can’t be with you. Part of me wants to forgive you and throw myself at you but the other half is telling me you’ll just do it again.”

“You think I would do it again?”

“I mean you did it the first time. So what would make it different from the next? Todoroki you just.. you need to leave.”

He quickly reached for your hands and cupped them, holding them to his chest. “I can’t lose you Y/N..” he whispered

“You already did.” You said coldly and pulled your hands out of his grasp. “What goes around comes around huh? That’s your karma now. Get out. I never want to see you again. I want the guilt to swallow you alive.”

He stood there unmoving, hands grasping around nothing as he looked up at you. He cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m sorry. I hope we can start over again soon. I hope you can forgive me.”

You watched as Todoroki walked down the steps and into the dark night. It felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders but the hole in your heart was still wide and open. Closing the door till he was no longer in sight, you let your head fall against the wood, letting out a shaky breath that you didn’t know you were holding in.

“Goodbye Todoroki Shouto.”

Is this the way it’s really going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

Shoulda known better when you came around

That you were gonna make me cry

Now it’s breaking my heart to watch you run around

Cause I know that you’re living a lie

But that’s ok baby cause in time you will find

What Goes Around, Comes Around

#bhna #mha #bhna x reader #todoroki #todoroki shouto #shouto todoroki #todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #my hero academia #bokonoacademia #xreader #xreaderinsert #readerinsert

[mhaccunoval]

i finallyyyy finished the explanations for my tlb playlistttt so come get yall juice

if you haven’t already seen my first (official) post about this silly little playlist then you are still in luck !!! here is the spotify and the youtube links !!! oh yeah also all of the songs are in chronological order (maybe not by month but definitely by year) because i had to be organized like that sbjhshsjbs

———

❥ title

i mean. there isn’t much to explain about it but sbjshbsjhs it’s based on sam’s line “you’re a creature of the night, michael!” of course but i made it plural because this playlist is sort of a. general boys / movie playlist, if that makes sense??? but yeahhhh they’re all littol creechers who love the night >:o]

———

❥ paint it, black — the rolling stones

so !!! i was kind of trying to relate it to the boys vampirism and. love of black clothes sbhsjbshjs but no. similar to the title, they. literally live in darkness because of not being able to go into the sun and because of the few lights in the lair but there’s also a sort of duality where being vampires in an internal darkness??? like. each of the boys takes heavy advantage of the benefits of being undead but i can’t imagine it’s without its faults outside of the lack of sunlight and such. i’m sure there’s a kind of uh. monster complex that follows it, especially with the way outsiders view them, which certainly fits with the song’s vibe of being washed with this sort of sensory overload to color and earning weird looks for it

———

❥ riders on the storm — the doors

first of all, there’s a giant ass jim morrison poster in the lair therefore the boys definitely listen to the doors (if not idolize jim) so jot that down. but also !!! it has very Them vibes !!! i think the storm effects definitely relate to boys in how storms create a darkness that is soothing in its own way, and comes on strong, just like the boys’ presence. and. technically they Are killers on the road that Will kill a sweet family sbhjsbshjsb but no most of all the !!! “into this house we’re born // into this world we’re thrown” and !!! the found family that the boys have going. like, if you look at. vampirism as the house they have LITERALLY been born into it and been thrown into a whole new world, depending on each other for comfort and pleasure !!! oh also. they ride motorcycles so they’re also literal riders sbhjsbshjs (fun fact, according to genius lyrics: apparently it was the last song jim recorded before he died a few weeks later 😳)

———

❥ love her madly — the doors

whole jim morrison poster and listening to the doors reasoning is sustained. HOWEVER for the rest of reasoning… perhaps it’s more straight up 95060 than anything but sbhsjbsshj the whole woman walking in and out of the audience’s life is very symbolic of michael being in and out with the boys, never really deciding whether he wants to fully join them and straining. all of his relationships with that indecision and sitting on the picket fence (those who sit on the picket fence are impaled by it). although, it could also be partly symbolic of that indecision, as he does find Some charm in the boys’ lifestyle and keeps finding himself drawn back enough to even consider partaking in it. also, if you wanna go the parko route, paul loves marko madly enough to go after the frog bros personally for killing him <3

———

❥ walk this way — aerosmith

i am. blanking on how to tie it in other than being on the movie’s soundtrack (yes i avoided it and people are strange until the very end of making the playlist, but one of the evils got me clearly— have always ADORED people are strange though). but. i guess you can make the case that the song is full of innuendos and some scenes, like the feeding scene, are lowkey horny sbsjhbshjsbs and YES it’s the aerosmith version instead of the run dmc one because. i prefer this one and it’s my silly little playlist <3

———

❥ the boys are back in town — thin lizzy

technically the boys never Left town but !!! *christopher walken voice* Boys !!! them cast ARE crazy and they’re ALWAYS dressed to kill, ready to spill some blood and pick a fight !!! yeah no it’s just a very fun song that i think really works to. represent their crazy lifestyle and infamy around town due to causing trouble !!! and you can almost say that in this scenario star is the girl who used to dance a lot and slapped the shit out of someone <3 just girlboss moments <3

———

❥ xanadu — rush

hehehe… this started as the. desire to add more rush to the playlist for my own amusement but the more times i listen to it, the more i’m like “!!! it actually fits”… like. xanadu here is meant to a sort of utopia that’s long searched for, partly BECAUSE of the promise of immortality which !!! the boys have (unless. harmed in one of the ways at the end of the movie) because of their vampirism. like even if we don’t know the exact reasons they got turned, they all still, mostly indirectly probably, sought out that same principle. And the dining on honeydew and drinking the milk of ‘paradise’ is similar to their thrill-seeking tendencies and general enjoyment of being unable to die, leaving them to enjoy their undead lives to the fullest. not to mention, in [b part 2] (as genius refers to it) there’s talk of many, many years passing and waiting for the world to end, which we know there’s been quite a few years in between the boys getting turned and the movie, as well as i’m sure they sit back and wait on Some apocalypse, if not just to watch the world burn. in writing this, i’ve ALSO realized how it can be considered very Michael; he didn’t exactly seek this life out but he found it and indulged, only to be that “mad immortal man” towards the end of the song

———

❥ runnin’ with the devil — van halen

i just van halen is neat sbjshbsjsh and would definitely be something the boys would actually listen to hsjbshjsb i don’t Necessarily think vampires are in any way tied to the devil but. here it’d be more like a metaphor of “taking a walk on the wild side” if you wanna call it that; also, they all truly live their lives like there’s no tomorrow (not that they have to worry about death until the very end), have stolen a lot of things just to get by (probably in life AND death), don’t bode well with the ‘simple’ life (likely including the idea of a nuclear family like max proposed) because of it’s lack of pleasures, and don’t exactly have any “love [that] you’d call real” unless you read into the subtext 

———

❥ hot blooded — foreigner

originally this was going to be another joke about the. lowkey horniness of the boys and the movie as a whole but i’ve realized in writing these explanations thus far and rereading the lyrics that it’s. it’s just michael-centric sbshjsbsh sam is “at the mercy of his sex glands” and so is the audience of both the movie and the song sbhsjbshsj like. michael finds himself attracted to star immediately and tries for two secret rendezvouses, with only one working, and. can be said that he also finds a fever running within him when he’s around david and the boys sbhjsbshjs i just 🙈

———

❥ renegade — styx

renegade is my favorite styx song so i just said “fuck it” and added it sbshjsbshj but !!! you can say that, again, the boys live their lives on the wild side and. probably commit enough crimes to warrant dozens of sentences, some that would lead to death row (like, ya know, the. manslaughter) but they manage to get away unscathed. And the law man serving as an allegory to all of the people, including the frogs and grandpa, that want them dead for being vampires, with the bounty to be rewarded being the ridding of their trouble from santa carla

———

❥ big shot — billy joel

mikey :o) … ok yeah he isn’t the. silver spoon in hand (nose) type but he’s LITERALLY the type to open his mouth and get himself deep in enough shit that a fight breaks out, potentially bloodied his eyes, nose, and/or fists. i don’t have much of an explanation outside of he is a himbo jock who pulled a “i didn’t know how to talk to my crush so i wrote a note telling them to get out of my school” except he said it with his fist instead of his mouth sbjshbshsj

———

❥ boys don’t cry — the cure

pretty sure this is one of the ones i stole off of shovel (@/iswearimavamp) sbshjbshjs but i do love this song in a general sense too. in regards to the movie, like. none of the guys. obsess over masculinity or anything— and both david AND michael cry at different points— so that’s not necessarily an issue. but, there *is* still a lot of hurt and stepping on toes in many of the relationships in the film that can be stretched to fit, i would think sbjhsbshjs

———

❥ highway to hell — ac/dc

this and back in black were some of the last two i put on here because i. wanted to make an ‘even’ 35 sbsjhsbshjs BUT, like with runnin’ with the devil, it’s about a devilish lack of care for one’s own life or the “status of their soul” and just doing what feels right or like the most fun, no matter if it lands them in hell or not. and !!! “my friends are gonna be there too” fits with the friendship within the boys’ found family and how they’ll all always be together, no matter what !!!

———

❥ back in black — ac/dc 

i can’t really think of an explanation that differs from highway to hell so just reread the above sbsjhsbsh

———

❥ witch hunt — rush

OK !!! this is the song i’m the MOST excited to explain !!! right off the bat, moving pictures as a whole is an IMMACULATE album, absolutely love it. right so !!! this song literally SOUNDS like it belongs on the movie soundtrack; it has the same overtones and sounds as cry little sister and it’s just !!! and with the title, a witch hunt is BASICALLY what sam + the frogs went on in search of the lose boys, relying on little else but hearsay and catching glimpses at what was happening to michael, “confident that their ways are best” and moving along like a mob of three to get to the bottom of it. “features distorted in the flickering light // faces are twisted and grotesque” is very reminiscent of the faces the lost boys pull when they’re about to attack, and “they say there are strangers who threaten us” is symbolic of them being outsiders/outcasts that make everyone uncomfortable, even if You aren’t going to be their next victim. “the righteous rise with burning eyes” AND “quick to judge, quick to anger // slow to understand // ignorance and prejudice // and fear walk hand in hand” can apply to any number of characters, particularly the mains who are all pitted against each other, the humans fighting for their lives and the vampires fighting for their Right to live, neither taking into consideration the other’s perspective. i just… ADORE this song…

———

❥ red barchetta — rush 

this one was mainly just because of the car that grandpa keeps in the barn and both sam and michael’s fascination with it sbhjsbsshj and just to get more rush on here shjsbshjsbsh

———

❥ maneater — hall & oates

one of the first songs to hit the playlist !!! because the boys eat people !!! they’re the lean and hungry type that only come out at night !!! they’ll be sitting with you but their eyes are on the door and if you want love from them, you won’t get very far !!! the beauty IS there but there are beasts inside that can rip your world apart !!! they’ll chew you up but also leave you begging for more :o)

———

❥ hungry like the wolf — duran duran

the second song to have gone on the playlist !!! the boys are always on the prowl for fresh meat (in both the food AND turning senses) and they come alive while on the hunt, blood no doubt rushing through their veins (assuming it still can) !!! and in the movie, michael is the one they’re after for the turning connotation, all wanting a taste of him for themselves !!!

———

❥ subdivisions — rush

this rush song actually went on before the others shbsjsbshj but !!! it still fits just as well (certainly better than red barchetta)… the movie all takes place on the fringes of the city, “in between the bright lights // and the far unlit unknown”, and while it’s not exactly in the suburbs, there’s still little comfort to soothe the restless dreams of youth. there IS a drawing like moths into the city, for both the emersons and the lost boys, which is what ends up bringing all of them together, although it starts are cruising for action just to feel the living night. and just !!! NOBODY fits in !!! if you take the movie title as them being Lost instead of an allusion to peter pan, then you get slapped with thinking about what actually makes them lost and how they don’t conform in any way, shape, or form to just about. anything. and !!! the emersons are new, which immediately puts them at a social disadvantage, but they Also don’t seem too terribly great at making new friends in general so !!! “nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone”!!! 

———

❥ abracadabra — steve miller band 

i just love this song for whatever reason. and i think the allusion to magic to very fitting for the hallucinations that david gives michael, putting a sort of magic spell on him if you want to look at it that way. not a lot of silk and satin going gone but plenty of leather and probably some lace in there somewhere ( ;o] ) … also michael DOES heat up like a burnin’ flame whenever his name is called and the situation with the boys just keeps going round and round with no exact end in sight, only the calling of desire 

———

❥ separate ways (worlds apart) — journey

you would think i would have more journey on here ??? because i love them ??? but instead i stole this off of shovel too ??? it’s fine. time to be back on the 95060 bullshit sbsjhbsjhs we all know david Really wants michael to join them but. michael is reluctant, so that hesitance sets them worlds apart from each other— as if they weren’t already— and there’s still love between them, or at least the bgeinning sparks of it, even if michael refuses to act on them and only keeps pushing david away 

———

❥ cum on feel the noize — quiet riot

just some boys loving to party <3 some boys with evil yet dirty minds, out of time singing, funny faces, and that have a lazy time <3 yeah no this is one they’d rock out to and someone would probably pull a muscle over because it’s just such a banger sbshjsbsjh

———

❥ rebel yell — billy idol 

Another stolen off of shovel sbjhsbsjhs also ever since it’s been pointed out to me that david looks like billy idol i’ve just been losing it a little sbhjsbshjs Anyway. they’d definitely idolize him to some degree, even if just for looks, and it certainly fits the way that they. most Definitely let out a rebel yell at the midnight hour if you know what i mean— *taken out by a sniper*

———

❥ every breath you take — the police

would to believe to know i took it from shovel (i swear the last three where i say that will be rock you like a hurricane, livin’ on a prayer, and cherry pie sbshjsbsh) BUT !!! the watching every move is yet another. david keeping watch over michael and uh yearning from afar moment, heart aching the longer he’s away and the longer he keeps up this game of not knowing what exactly he wants to do 

———

❥ handsome devil — the smiths

ok THIS one was lent to me by ej (@/maybe-strawberry-blue) sbshjbshjsbs and let me tell you. this song (especially when paired with this charming man) is Very homoerotic, aka perfect for this movie shbjsbshjsbs like what got me first was “let me get my hands // on your mammary glands” and just. thinking about trans parko sbhsjbshjs but also in general the. “and i would like to give you // what i think you’re asking for” and “a boy in the bush // is worth two in the hand” and just sbhjsbshjs Everything. fits the ambiguous homoeroticism. And i think the boys would listen to the smiths (will elaborate more in the other smiths song explanation)

———

❥ panama — van halen

i Told you all i think van halen is neat sbsjsshjb what can i say. the boys like fast moving vehicles, hard partying, and tender loving sbsjhsbhsj also forgot to mention that i think they’d all be :eyes: about pre-1985 david lee roth and i cannot blame

———

❥ rock you like hurricane — scorpions

third to last shovel snatch sbshjsbh Here you can replace any one of the boys with the animals mentioned, as they’re always hungry and need to feed… they come out scratching and ready to win, willing to rock anyone who gets in their way like a hurricane— including with lust, depending on the situation 

———

❥ livin’ on a prayer — bon jovi

i actually can’t even manage an explanation for this one either just because of the song’s plot and how greatly it differs the movie plot <3 however it will stay because shovel said one of the boys (i forget which) would listen to it and friendship is more powerful than my small brain <3

———

❥ the queen is dead — the smiths

rightttt so here’s the deal, buds and duds. something in my gut just tells me that david would pull a me and. listen to this entire album on repeat, particularly bigmouth strikes again and i know it’s over when in dramatics bshjsbsjh BUT to make a case for the title track itself, breaking into buckingham palce— or really any major building— with only a sponge and rusty wrench would ABSOLUTELY be an endeavor the boys would get up to And they’d all pale (worse than normal) about finding out they’re the descendant of some royal. “oh, has the world changed, or have i changed” and “life is very long, when you’re lonely” is quite fitting of their immortality, which i can only imagine would leave them questioning how the world has evolved and, although they have each other, i’m sure living forever still can get a Little lonely. And they’d certainly celebrate the death of a royal (because anarchy <3). mostly i’ve just been listening to this song on repeat for days sbhjsbshj but, i think it’s the most. generally related to all of the boys, whereas like. cemetry gates would be more solely 95060 

———

❥ need you tonight — inxs

my favorite inxs song… technically the 21st century Wasn’t yesterday when the movie came out nor when the song did sbhjsbshjs but there *is* a lot of sweating from desire and aiming to put that passion into use, very blatantly letting everyone know that sbjhsbshjs

———

❥ bad medicine — bon jovi

there’s just something so fun about this song… and while listening to it on the drive home, i was thinking about it from a 95060 perspective where. david’s a bit lovesick (hence the love like bad medicine) and the choir of voices in the bg, saying “that’s what you get for falling in love”, would be the other boys knowing he’s gotten himself in over his head over what was supposed to be a minor tease or a small fling (would be a real fun and poppy animatic i think)

———

❥ pour some sugar on me — def leppard

legitimately this started as a “haha what about my ‘what if the blood was kool-aid instead’ joke” and then i realized it was. a fair enough fit, especially with the feeding scene. except they’re actual vamps not just video vamps sbjhsbshjs anyway. sugar highs and red hot flames of passion for one another <3

———

❥ cherry pie — warrant

ok THIS is the last song i took from shovel and. my reasoning is pretty much the same as pour some sugar on me and. Friendship

———

❥ somebody told me — the killers

i wasn’t going to add any modern songs but. i thought it’d be funny if michael had had a girlfriend before leaving phoenix that looked a bit like david sbshjsbshj and then it only just added to angst sbhjsbshj

———

❥ you know what they do to guys like us in prison — mcr

i was reminded that vampires will never hurt you exists but. i went with my favorite mcr song instead because. vwnhy is more like ??? a vampire that fears themselves ??? so like. an edward cullen type ??? while ykwtdtgluip is more about the homoeroticism and community ??? i said what i said

———

❥ house of wolves — mcr

thank god this is the last song because i’m getting tired sbjshsjshb a little less homoeroticism, a little more general sinning and egotism <3

#pant rambles #playlist #ramble #in the last like. ten you can Tell i started getting tired

[recurring-polynya]

Bleach Sword Beasts Arc Recap: Episode 263

I have been putting this off, but It Is Time: I am going to review the episode where Zabimaru and Senbonzakura get stuck in Squad 12.

The episode starts out with Saru and Hebi very competently taking out a sword beast, and a bunch of Squad 6er’s get really hype about it. I love this. Please more of this.

No one ever cares what I think, though, because they don’t finish the job, and Senbonzakura has to do it. Not only does he steal their thunder, he does it in such a way that when the sword beast turns back into a sword, it breaks into two pieces, and one piece falls on each of their heads. It’s honestly a great piece of physical comedy, behold my lightning fast screenshotting reflexes:

Squad 6 are a bunch of bootlickers, so they immediately start fawning over Senbonzakura instead. You cannot care about the opinion of Squad 6, Zabimaru! The only way to win is not to play!! Then, to add insult to injury, Renji makes them write apology letters. I cannot overemphasize how deeply tired Renji is throughout this episode, and I am here for it. This is a man who has filled out so much zanpakutou-related paperwork. Also, there is a very cute little scene where Saru is protesting the letters and slapping the coffee table that is so, so reminiscent of The Desk Slap. I am utterly charmed with the idea that zanpakutou and their shinigami share mannerisms. Oh, also, I guess Squad 6 has some fancy-ass guest chairs? Well, they do now.

Renji implies that he has also been getting shit about how Captain Kuchiki’s zanpakutou is better than his. Zabimaru take this poorly, and decide they are going to return the broken sword to Squad 12, leaving this little love letter for Renji:

This poor, beleaguered man. For the record, nothing good happens to him this episode.

Anyway, Zabimaru head off to Squad 12, but no one is answering the door. I am sure they are just all playing Counterstrike with their headphones on, but that doesn’t help get the door opened. They break in through a window, there are some unnecessary jokes about Saru’s perfectly fine caboose, and it turns out Senbonzakura has beaten them here. He lectures them on breaking into someone else’s barracks, despite the fact that he, himself got in by knocking a giant hole in the wall.

Look, one of my favorite things about Byakuya is his utter, blatant, completely un-self-aware hypocrisy, like when he lectures people on how their arrogance will be their downfall, and the fact that Senbonzakura is just Like That 100% of the time is delightful to me.

Since they’re here, they decide to go stick the broken sword in a containment chamber. Saru explains that she knows how the controls work because she’s seen Renji do this before. Senbonzakura decides he also knows how the controls work because he is a self-important idiot, and manages to set off an alarm and get them trapped behind an emergency barrier (naturally, he blames Saru for “startling him.”)

Senbonzakura tries to use his sword to break them out, nearly killing Saru and Hebi in the process (also classic Byakuya behavior). Saru suggests that maybe they could just… wait for someone to come let them out? Senbonzakura is for it, until it turns out that the waiting may be longer than 10 seconds, and he absolutely goes feral. God, I love this episode. Unfortunately, he causes so much of a commotion that Ashisogi Jizou shows up. Obvs nothing good will come of this.

Ashisogi Jizou can’t hear them through the glass, but he tries to be helpful (?) so he gets a banana (??) which sends Senbonzakura into a rage (?????) We know from that one omake that Byakuya has sort of a thing for bananas, so I feel like there is some epic backstory for this, and the fact that no explanation is given makes it even more magical.

Anyway, Ashisogi Jizou breaks the remote and then runs away because Senbonzakura scared them. Saru and Hebi once again discuss that they will just have to wait for someone who knows what they are doing to show up, but Senbonzakura has no time for this and goes directly to bankai.

This works in the sense that it frees them, but it’s bad in the sense that it destroys the lab and sets of a bunch of defenses. Senbonzakura sets off running and Hebi and Saru chase him, only to realize that he has no clue where he’s going, he’s just running because he likes to be in front. There’s all kinds of blast doors closing on them, and rest assured, they do an Epic Maneuver, but it was too hard to capture, so just picture this only with more sliding:

I tell you, I would give you all the money I have in my pocket to see Byakuya and Renji do an Epic Maneuver, but this is pretty good, I'll take it.

Immediately after this is the classic scene where Senbonzakura’s mask crumbles and he immediately pulls out another one, we’ve all seen it. I do want to specify that Saru and Hebi definitely did see his (presumably) impossibly beautiful face for the split second it was visible.

Anyway, they are now in the Squad 12 control room, where you can spy on anyplace in the Seireitei. I am obsessed with cataloging which modern technology they have in Soul Society and what they don’t, and this scene is amazing in what it reveals. Urinals? Yes. Washing machines? Yes. Treadmills? Yes. What the f’ing f are Hisagi and Kazeshini doing? Are they making milk for Kazeshini’s baby? Didn't he re-home it? Also, why are Kira, Iba, and that annoying guy from Squad 4 all using the same bathroom at the same time? This scenes answers some questions, but it asks a lot more.

Senbonzakura is a tireless advocate for privacy rights, so he is enraged and starts button-mashing again. It turns out you can control everything in the Seireitei from this control room, and water and flames start shooting out of every conceivable place water and flames could shoot from. I cannot emphasize enough how good the physical comedy in this episode is, and I can’t even add much to it, you should just go watch it yourself.

The episode goes completely off the rails at this point. Stuff starts blowing up, and Senbonzakura claims Saru and Hebi are at fault by virtue of being in the same vicinity as him. Ashisogi Jizou goes to bankai. Senbonzakura goes to bankai. Zabimaru finally snaps and goes to bankai. Squad 12 is destroyed. There is a scene featuring the worst-drawn Renji in the history of Bleach, which I categorically refuse to show here.

In the crater of what used to be Squad 12, every Soul Reaper in the the Seireitei, except, notably, Byakuya, show up to yell at them. Senbonzakura, pristine and uninjured, claims total innocence in these shenanigans.

Even Renji has no sympathy for his poor zanpakutou, and he, Ukitake and Kyouraku give them stacks of paperwork to do in punishment. At this point, you’re like, “yeah, great episode, hijinks are done, let’s wrap–” and Renji says “Senbonzakura is nothing like his master!” and Kyouraku is like, “Wee-elll….”

::chef’s kiss::

#sword beasts arc #bleach filler #senbonzakura #zabimaru #i am sorry i did not have much to add to this #it's just stands on its own #oh and as if it weren't great enough #it features the omake where renji takes pity on sasakibe and gets ishida to make him a new costume #it had more random squad 6 group shots too #blessed content

[tsarinastorm]

AA: Ashes to Ashes- Adam Sackler/Reader- Chapter 4

Sorry it took so long! I should be on a normal update schedule now.

The two of you walk in silence up the staircase to your apartment, it’s obvious that neither of you know what to say. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t happy that he and Jessa broke up, and that he came back to you in a way. You’d missed his company, his friendship, and you missed him. You’d also be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for him, he made you feel like your whole world was spinning but in a good way. Once inside your apartment, Bagel practically leaped into Adam’s arms, and he even made high pitch, happy noises that you’d never seen him do before. Adam holds him and pets his head, saying, “I missed you too, buddy.”

The scene warmed your heart even though you were planning on being ice cold with Adam. You offer him a drink and he asks for his typical: a glass of milk. You make yourself a cup of coffee and bring him his glass. You settle into one side of the couch and he remains on the other side, but Bagel crowds in between you, with his head on Adam’s lap. You decide to break the ice and make small talk.

“Did you finally finish the film?” You ask and he turns to make eye contact with you. He takes a drink of milk before answering.

“I am, I’m want to go back to theater. How’s work and the writing?” You can tell his nervous because he keeps bouncing his leg.

“It’s busy. Between the contracts and my book, it’s been exhausting.” You take a drink of your coffee and end up turning your body so you’re angled towards him.

“That’s good. Did you send it to the publisher yet?” He mimics your posture and is now turned to face you. Somehow, the space between the two of you on the couch has dissipated.

“Yeah…” The two of you continued to catch up with what happened in each of your lives over the past two weeks. You chatted about everything, like always, but there was a huge elephant in the room. Strangely, he seemed to avoid the topic as much as you were. Neither of you wanted to talk about what his break up with Jessa meant for the two of you.

You’re feeling overwhelmed by the situation: you had had a long day, ran into Jessa, then Adam showed up on your doorstep saying that he and Jessa broke up. Now, you had to deal with your feelings for him, and you couldn’t ignore them. His eyes are burning through you and there’s a part of you that wants to jump on him right now. Instead, you force yourself to ask the question that you’ve been avoiding since you came home.

“What do you want?” You really just want to go to bed and sleep for the next few days. You’re suddenly jealous of Bagel, who’s contently napping laying across Adam’s lap. If you were able to shut your moral conscious, maybe you could be snuggled into his arms.

“I guess I want what we had.” Adam answers. You weren’t expecting that answer.

“So just friendship?” You stand up to stretch, and take the glasses to the kitchen as you await his answer. You’re standing in front of him, and he goes to reach to you to pull you closer then he resists.

“Yeah I can talk to you about everything.” He eventually confesses. His eyes are passionate but you can tell that he’s watching for your reaction, for permission. He gives you a crooked smile and you can see his dimple, which you find adorable. You tell him, “Look, I’m going to bed. I am exhausted.”

Adam doesn’t move, he does the opposite he settles into the couch and stretches his legs out. You ignore that and continue on your nightly routine: take your meds, showering, skin and hair care routines. When you’ve finished, you peak out of your bathroom to see that Adam’s still crashed on the couch, and he’s snoring. Of course you could wake him but you decide not to. You crawl into your bed, and you’re asleep before you know it.

******

Adam wakes up sweating and tries to nuzzle into whatever warm body is snuggled into his.  He hopes its Y/N, after all she did let him stay the night, and he and Jessa were now broken so any relationship with Y/N was no longer off-limits. Then his bubble is burst when he realizes that the warm body he’s cozied up to is Bagel, not Y/N, and he’s about one slight movement from rolling off the couch.

He gets up and goes to look for Y/N, after peaking in her bedroom he finds that she’s still sound asleep. Bagel however doesn’t seemed bothered by this develop as he nudges the door opened with his nose and continued into the room, eventually joining Y/N in bed. Adam decides to make himself useful so he starts making breakfast, but then he notices that Y/N doesn’t really have any food in her apartment other the basics. He remembers that she doesn’t really cook so that makes sense, he then heads out to pick them up something.

After grabbing some breakfast dishes including egg casserole, bacon bagels, and muffins he returns. He sets up the table and is working on the Keurig, which is not being tolerable. He lets out a stream of curses when he hears, “What did my Keurig ever do to you?”

Y/N walks into the kitchen with Bagel trailing behind. She casually walks up to him, hits a button then turns to look at the table. Adam tells her, “I was going to make you breakfast but that didn’t work then I just brought some things.”

“I can see that. It looks good. Did you sleep on the couch all night?” She asks as she stretches like a cat.  Adam can’t help but stare at her tits which are now pressed out and her nipples are showing, and he’s never wanted to caress them and kiss them more than he does right now. Then he forces his eyes away though they now check out her legs which are on full display since the stretch pulled her pajama shorts up. Y/N ignores his looks of lust and grabs a cup of coffee, grabs a plate and starts delving into the breakfast he brought. She gestures at him to join her and he does.

Not long after they’ve ate the breakfast, Y/N dives into the deep questions that Adam would prefer to not talk about. He was enjoying their domestic bliss, which allowed him to fantasize what life together would be like.

  “Why didn’t you tell me the whole truth about Hannah?” She asks staring at him over her coffee mug. Once she takes another drink, she bites her lip and it makes his brain short-circuit. He lets out an exaggerated sigh and punches at his thighs in frustration before he answers.

“Because it’s embarrassing. I should have known it wouldn’t work and I was afraid of what you’d think.” Adam eyes the anything else in the room to avoid her gaze. When he does He can tell that she’s surprised by that answer because she furrows her eyebrows and pauses before asking her next question.

“Why’d you go back to her?” Adam knows damn well the reason he went back to Hannah but it makes him sound weak, needy, and naïve. And Y/N is Jessa’s friend so he knows that admitting the truth to her could be a huge risk. But he cares about Y/N in a way that he never did about Hannah, Jessa, or anyone else he can remember, Y/N is his friend.

“I just wanted to feel something real again, then Hannah and I realized it was really over and I went home to find Jessa there.” Bagel is resting his head on Adam’s thigh and Adam strokes his head to comfort himself from whatever explosive reaction he’s sure Y/N will have.

“And you accepted it because?” She asks. She doesn’t look mad or concerned, just curious.

“How was I supposed to break up with Jessa after she accepted that I left her for someone else with zero consequences?” She nods her head in response and they sit in silence for some time.

*****

It was your day off, you had a peaceful sleep the night before and woke up to find Adam still in your apartment but with breakfast. You had talked this morning about some things you didn’t have the energy to talk about last night and currently you had finished up a run around the neighborhood. It was amusing to say the least: Adam was shirtless wearing shorter shorts and had a hair tie in his hair to hold it back.

As you cross the street, a car almost hits you. You jump back suddenly and you can feel your heartrate spike. Adam, is furious and starts banging on the hood of the car, screaming at the driver, “WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU”RE GOING!! YOU ABOUT HIT A WOMAN, ASSHOLE!!”

You gently tug on his arm and urge him to continue crossing the street. Once safely across, you can tell that he’s still agitated so you put your arm around his waist. When he turns to face you, you ask him, “Are alright now? That guy was just an idiot.”

“Mmhmm. But he could have hurt you, what a fucking asshole!” He’s getting flustered all over again but he shakes his head agreeing with you. Adam snakes his arm around your shoulder and you allow it because it feels so nice, just the way you always thought it would. He’s even a little sweaty but so are you, and it doesn’t seem to bother either one of you.

After walking like that for a block, you eventually convince yourself to move away. You instantly regret it, but you know that you can’t cross a line with him, because now he’s your friend’s ex. You’re not sure which is worse: when he was your friend’s boyfriend or now when he’s her ex. This was a losing situation. You decided you’d be friends with him until he lost interest and moved on to his next woman or went back to Jessa.

“Wait, I want to go in here.” You say as you notice that you’re walking passed a vintage, eclectic furniture shop. Adam groans and tries to keep moving. You ignore him and keep on walking into the store. He stands outside and shouts, “I’ll wait out here, kid.”

“Kid” was a new nickname, you thought “tiger” was your established nickname. You’d have to ask him about the new term of endearment.

******

Adam knows Y/N shares his feelings and wants him too but is too stubborn to admit it. Then, because she’s a good person and a good friend she worries about hurting Jessa. Her compassion and empathy were two of his favorite things about her, but right now they were his enemy. She made him feel truly happy, and whole in a way that he thought he never could be. This situation meant he had only really had one option: stick around Y/N until she was ready to explore their relationship. He’d just have to wait it out, he was sure that eventually she’d realize what they had and that Jessa was a shitty friend.

Currently, he was waiting for her outside her apartment building. That’d been close enough that he knew he her routine and he knew that she would be taking Bagel for his morning walk soon. She hadn’t responded to his texts, he wanted to know she was ignoring him and to make sure she was okay. Soon, he spots her walking out of the building with Bagel walking beside her. Bagel barks at him and tries to run to him. Y/N was wearing a hooded t-shirt, skort-type thing, and sneakers. All Adam could notice was her legs, and how her outfit snugly fit her hips and ass. He’s distracted for a moment and he’s shocked when she asks, “Why are you here?”

“To see you, you didn’t respond to my texts. We are friends, aren’t we?” He asks as he bends over to pet Bagel who’s more than happy to see him. Bagel’s human is not as happy to see Adam, she crosses her arms at him before she curtly asks,

“You’re honestly here because we’re friends?” Her hands are her hips now, her eyebrows are raised, and she’s clearly not buying the ‘just friends’ thing either, that works in his favor. He stands up and tilts his head down to look at her when he tells her his feelings.

“You and I both know it’s more than that. I like you, I have for a long time and I think you like me too.” Adam always talks with his hands and his whole body. He hopes to make her confess her feelings.

“Suppose that’s true, nothing could ever come from it.” She says and tries to keep walking. He was not expecting that response. He quickly follows after her.

“Why the fuck not? Are you saying that you do want something more?” Now, he is confused. He thought that she’d admit that she wants him too and they’d be together, end of story. But apparently she wanted to punish herself and him. She lets out a huffy sigh before she answers.

“It could never happen even if I do because I’m Jessa’s friend and I don’t do that to my friends. I know we already crossed a line when we kissed, and I can’t change the past, but I can stop the betrayal from being worse.” She says matter-of-factly. Her eyes bore into his but she waivers on the last words and forces her eyes away from gaze.

“Believe me, if it was reversed, Jessa wouldn’t give a shit. She’s a shit friend. She dated me even thought I was Hannah’s ex…besides Hannah’s the only friend Jessa cares about.” Adam likes Y/N’s sense of loyalty but her loyalty to Jessa is misplaced, surely she must know this.

“I don’t give a shit what Jessa would do. I’m not Jessa and if you think I’m anything like her, then you know absolutely nothing about me.” She huffs at him, points her finger at him, and stands on her tiptoes so her face is closer to his. He never meant to compare her to Jessa, he knew damn well they were nothing alike.

“I do know you. Better than you think. And you know me. I’m not just going to let you push me away.” He tells her and his hand goes to her forearm. She doesn’t move away, she looks at his hand then trails her eyes back to his face. Her eyes are soft then they swiftly harden.

“Fine. I have to finish a contract today, then meet with an illustrator. You can hang out, but if you try any funny business, I’m out.” She asserts, and he smiles at her attitude.

“I can control myself if you can.” He chuckles and strikes his most innocent look, it makes her laugh. This is a start, he thinks, it’s only a matter of time. He rushed into his other relationships, he’d learn from them, and now he was willing to go slow with Y/N.

“Let’s try to go back to what we were before.” She says as they continue walking and going about their day.

#adam sackler #adam sackler x reader #adam driver #hbo girls #reader insert

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 501

We’re back again for another season of men never having to demonstrate any personal growth on screen because the writers don’t feel like that’s important to show and instead force the audience to just forget everything that previously happened because look! The characters, who aren’t real and are just what we write them to be, are all cool now so why aren’t you? #BadFans

As a standalone episode/series premiere of a new show, this episode was really good! I enjoyed it a lot, with some obvious exceptions. As the season five premiere of a show with a long history? What the actual fuck, why do you keep doing this, writers?

In season one, Jamie beats Claire, never actually apologizes for it, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season two, Jamie takes his pants off with some prostitutes while his pregnant wife is at home, blames it on his “mission,” and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season three, Jamie is an asshole and a half to Claire when she gives up literally everything (including their daughter) to come find him and knowingly marries the woman who tried to have Claire killed because of one dance with random children at a holiday party, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season four, Roger is a rancid garbage heap to Bree all season and is only begrudgingly down to stay with her as if *he’s* the one who’s been wronged by her, and Jamie literally sends a guy into what he thinks is like certain death/slavery without getting any real information, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

So watching this premiere, I was not at all shocked that there was a convenient time jump where everything was so handily worked out off screen and we’re all super cool now, and Jamie thinking Roger isn’t good enough for Bree is played for a joke instead of being THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. #BreeDeservesBetter

Anywho, onward under the cut because I’m back on my drunken bullshit.

Ooo, a rape warning before the episode, starting off very on brand for you I see, show.

Fuck them very much, again, for including that very unnecessary story line in the first place.

I miss Scotland, y’all. Also, young Murtz can get ittt.

So can old Murtz.

#TeamMurtz

This bit though with wee Jamie made me feel feelings. Jamie and Murtagh’s relationship is literally one of my favorite parts of this whole damn show and saving Murtagh was the best adaptive choice these fuckwads made.

Unpopular opinion alert, but I actually really like the new credits music. I will always like season one’s the best, but this one is up there.

Also, am I a giant weirdo for being happy that even though they change stuff in the credits all the time, they keep in the shot of Claire’s legs running from the pilot? Idk why, but I’m like sentimentally attached to that shot.

Also, that is a fucking microscope I see in the credits, are we gettING SCIENCE!JIZZ?!??!?!?!

SCIENCE!JIZZ! SCIENCE!JIZZ! SCIENCE!JIZZ!

“Careful, or ye’ll lose yer head.” And we’d all be definitely super sad if that happened. Yep, can’t have that. #TeamCutthroatRazor

Jamie threateningly shaving and insulting Roger is the fandom minus the stans who for some inconceivable reason still like that fucker.

Seriously, fuck Roger. Jamie is apparently the only one who hasn’t gotten amnesia about how terrible he is. I guess it’s because Jamie has been really fucking terrible many times and like recognizes like.

I fucking love that Murtz made Bree’s ring. Makes it more meaningful than the random trinket Roger picks up at the Gathering Without End in the book. Like Claire’s Lallybroch key ring was more meaningful than the book!ring. Fuck the show for ditching the Lallybroch key ring because tHe BoOk RiNg Is WhAt FaNs LiKe. No. Stop. Bad choice.

The aerial shot going over the big house makes me hopeful that this season won’t be as fucking claustrophobic as last year. Because seriously, we can all tell you’re still in Scotland. Doing a whole season in basically closeups doesn’t make it seem any more North Carolina-y.

CLAIRE MAKING BREE’S DRESS AND GETTING TO BE THERE FOR HER DAUGHTER’S WEDDING WHEN SHE DIDN’T THINK SHE’D BE ABLE TO GIVES ME ALL THE FEELINGS! CLAIRE DESERVES ALL THE GOOD THINGS! I JUST LOVE CLAIRE A LOT OK! SORRY NOT AT ALL EVER FUCKING SORRY! #BeauchampBrigade5Eva

Bree’s dress is fucking gorgeous. I lowkey like it better than Claire’s.

Da!Jamie on his something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue quest is fucking adorable. He also never thought he’d get to see this one of his kids’ wedding so yay for him too.

“And we’re giving her away to a man who loves her.” “Oh.” “What? You doubt his love?” “Um, I’m sorry, did you SEE all last season?! Did everyone else get amnesia?!”

Also, bullshit about Roger being terrible aside, this right here, with Jamie and Claire actually talking to each other in an adorable and snuggly way. Like being all close and cuddly and shit. THIS IS MY SHIT. When we all bitch about wanting more Jamie and Claire couple stuff and the writers are all like “but the sex doesn’t advance the story” it’s like no you fuckwits, we don’t always mean sex! Sometimes we mean sex, because sex is important in their relationship (and sex does not necessarily equal nudity), but most of the time we mean SHOW US THAT THESE PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER WITH THE SMALL CUTE STUFF LIKE THIS! I’m *rull* curious to see how much more of stuff like this we get this season now that Balfe and Heughan are producers. Balfe especially, considering how dirty they did Claire last season...

DA!JAMIE AND ANOTHER OF HIS KIDDOS! Da!Jamie being sappy and sentimental at his kids’ weddings is 100% my jam.

HIS FACE WHEN BREE SAYS JE SUIS PREST MAKES ME FEEL ALL THE FEELINGSSS.

MOM AND DAD ARE AT THEIR LIL GIRL’S WEDDING AND MY SKIN IS CLEAR AND MY CROPS ARE THRIVING. Except that one weed over there in the groom’s place that just won’t go away.

I am so fucking glad they did away with the Gathering Without End. I swear to fuck 17% of a book that’s just like camping and periods and breast milk is aggressively not my jam.

Unfortunately the groom being a douchenozzle is not a legal reason to object to a wedding. But it really should be.

Fersali being all snuggly and cute during the vows is fucking precious. I love Fersali. Protect Fersali at all costs.

I’m ok with playing Jamie and Claire’s music over Bree and Roger’s wedding because like, this is the culmination of all the shit that Jamie and Claire went through together and I’m all for making stuff just about them, haha. But otherwise, weird choice to not give Bree and Roger their own theme?

Also, I get that it’s a better choice to have a character we already know and have established stakes with be here to do the red coat stuff, but loool at the thought of the fucking governor coming to this random backcountry wedding. Tryon, buddy, I get that Murtz is your white whale, but you look obsessed in a bad way, bruh.

GERMAIN!!! I FUCKING LOVE GERMAIN! I FUCKING LOVE THAT JAMIE TALKS SHIT ABOUT PRESBYTERIANS TO GERMAIN! GIVE ME ALL THE SASSY SMOLS!

“Some of us like to think before we act.” Oh fuck all the way off, Roger. ALL THE WAY OFF.

“There was me thinking that you were just trying to shut me up for a minute.” I mean, that was an added bonus, Rog.

Sophie has really gotten so much better at acting. She’s always such a goddamn delight on press tours and I’m like *rull* glad to see her growing into the role.

Lizzo/Flute Lady from the Wedding Band 2020

I 100% wanna chill with JQM and Fersali. This squad of cool kids seems aggressively more fun than the dancers.

Oh Isiah Morton. If only you could keep it in your pants.

I LOVE FERGUS WITH MY WHOLE HEART.

I LOVE MARSALI POSSIBLY EVEN MORE.

GODDAMN IT I JUST LOVE FERSALI SO FUCKING HARD.

Seriously, the sass and theatricality and sarcasm of Marsali Fraser. I stan. I fucking stan.

Also I 100% kept reciting “To sit in solemn silence...” through that whole scene. Once a theater kid, always a theater kid.

Don’t be a buzzkill, LJG. I love that posh nerd. Except when he’s being a fucking creeper about Jamie to Claire.

“Mistress, can I dance with the guy I thought raped you because he was such a twatwaffle?” “Sure, Lizzie, go for it! Because we’re all friends now.”

We’re just leaning in on the dad stuff this episode. The hot dads of Riverdale should form a gang with the hot dads of the Ridge just for kicks.

Obligatory fuck the writers for including Bree’s rape. Since they did though, good on them for showing her PTSD. Although fuck them for including such a graphic flashback. Much like the choices they made in the season one finale, it centers the rapist and the act more than the survivor.

Can this please be the only Fred reference this season? Also love to lightly joke about an emotionally abusive asshole who treated Claire like shit and used Bree as a weapon against her. Claire, being the bigger person she’s always been, will obvs not speak ill of Fred to Bree (unlike how Freddy boy undermined Claire in front of Bree), but Bree is now aware of just how shitty Fred was. Even if he wasn’t overtly shitty to her, her still being all lovey about him, knowing what he did to her mother, is lowkey super fucked up. “Well I know he was shitty to other people, but he never did anything to me” is never a good look.

Bree hugging Jemmy, oh man, I just wanna give her a hug and tell her everything’s gonna be ok.

Jocasta is still trash (there’s no such thing as a benevolent slave owner) but this Murcasta scene is a goddamn delight.

OK BUT NOW I NEED FAN ART OF MURTZ AS A FAIRY KING!

Roger singing to Bree is cute and all, but then using the music for the whole montage is cheesy af and I don’t think I like it.

Is that Arch and Murdina I spy there in the crowd?

Marsali is literally the most fertile woman in the Colonies.

Grannie and Granda trying to get it on veryyy quietly so they don’t wake Jemmy is fucking adorable as shit and I lowkey love it.

Awww, poor LJG. I ship Lord John with someone who actually loves him.

Ok I get Murcasta having to break up because of his regulator stuff, randomly introducing Duncan Innes is a fucking weird choice.

Maria Doyle Kennedy really was the fucking perfect casting choice.

Oh hey, Josiah Beardsley. I was hoping they’d cut out the whole thing with the Beardsleys and Lizzie, but honestly, I’ll take that silliness over Emo!Roger any day.

Good on Jocasta for being a clever MacKenzie, but fuck Roger for only doing the right thing when he’s insulted into it. TL;DR: Fuck Roger.

Is Gerald Forbes going to randomly turn into Neil Forbes at some point like he does in the book?

DOCTOR CLAIRE FOR THE WIN GIVE ME ALL THE DOCTOR CLAIRE.

Srsly, I am here for Jamie shitting on Roger at literally every opportunity. Preach, Jamie. Preach.

“I’ll leave you to yer patients. And to wage war with your wee invisible beasties.” Seriously though, this is my jam. This playful banter. For so much of the series, it’s been like do these two even like each other? Because the writers kept trying to make the show into something it wasn’t. Politics, war, characterization flipflops and assholery FoR tHe DrAmA. It was so hard to see why Claire would ever pick this guy. I’m very cautiously optimistic that more shit like this will be peppered in this year because dammit, this is why we’re all fucking here.

“Then ye must find yerself a lieutenant.” Can it be Marsali? Please? Can Marsali be Claire’s lieutenant?! Because cutting the whole Malva bullshit would be ideal. And Fersali gets so sidelined in the later books that I’d fucking LOVE the writers to make changes so they can be more centered with the rest of the fam. And I am fucking obsessed with Claire and Marsali’s relationship. Marsali is the most Claire Jr. character in this whole damn show and I WANT THEM TOGETHER IN FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS.

Roger pricks his index finger but smudges the blood on Jemmy’s head with his thumb. Not the takeaway of this scene at all. But since I don’t like Roger, that’s my bullet for it.

Also I love that they switched the whole raise a militia thing to a hunt for Murtz & Squad rather than needing to do it because some randos are somewhere doing a thing and then lol jk they left so you can all go home like it is in the book.

Totally called it that they were going to combine the two bonfires and that this was when the kilt was gonna make its triumphant return.

Also I fucking love that it’s the music from Je Suis Prest during the scene when Jamie puts his kilt back on.

And thank fuck they didn’t put any dialogue/voiceover in this scene when Claire sees Jamie. It’s so much more powerful without it.

Aaand we’re burning a cross. At least they were smart enough not to burn a Roman cross, but they’re still burning a cross instead of just doing a bonfire. The scene could be just as powerful had it been adapted to not have a burning cross. Fuck them, tbh.

Remember that time that fuckwit Roberts tried to be like oh we’re not *really* burning a cross so we’re not racist but we’re not gonna address it directly because lol out fanbase is fucking wicked conservative and also a fucking cult who will yell at us for changing anything.

Because seriously that twatwaffle really tried to pretend like a celtic cross isn’t a religious symbol so they’re not having a KKK rally in this white supremacist hellscape. FUCK THAT GUY FOR BOTH HIS SHITTY DECISIONS AND ALSO FOR ACTING LIKE WE’RE ALL FUCKING IDIOTS.

BuT hIsToRy AnD tHe BoOk! Fuck that. Do. Not. Burn. Crosses. But they showed a lynching last year for the sole purpose of showing the shocked white people, so of course they fucking burned a cross.

Jamie being both himself and Colum from the Gathering in season one at the same time is a fucking sight to see.

The look on Knox’s face is *chef’s kiss*. Bruh you don’t even *know* who you’re dealing with.

Aaand in a move that is not at all shocking, Roger hesitates *again*, when Jamie extends his hand to him. Fuck, and I cannot stress this enough, that guy. I get that he’s untrained and scared or whatever, but buddy you deal with that shit tomorrow. You don’t fucking leave Jamie hanging when he’s doing this big theatrical thing in an effort to fucking save his land and tenants. Ugh.

FERGUS, SON OF HIS NAME AND HIS HEART! Jamie and Claire’s first kid getting the props he fucking deserves. ILY SO MUCH FERGS!

Marsali’s face when Fergus goes to give his oath. Just the pride and love there. I JUST LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH OK.

I appreciate the commitment to the shitty green screen of that titular Ridge, haha.

That is a *rull* phallic rock in your circle, Murtz.

BUT...ALWAYS TAKE A MURTAGH! *cries*

This is a real gut punch of a scene, tbh. It’s 100% the right thing to do, but damn, right in the fucking feels.

This episode, with my selective amnesia activated per the above lol, has me more hopeful for how a season might be than I’ve been in a while. But this feeling has consistently been crushed in the past. Here’s to hoping the show finally stops doing us dirty!

#* #outlander starz #outlander 5x01 #drunj!der yells about outlander

[ninjakasuga]

Sonsal Celebration Year 2, Day 8

The final day is here; and this one took me a bit to figure it out but here we go! I’ve enjoyed the celebration hosted by @boundforfreedomsonsal this year and look forward to more events to come. I honestly haven’t felt a drive for my solo writing like this in awhile. Sure I’ve had some projects cooking in the wings but they’re slo-mo going for various reasons. Maybe I just needed an injection of my favorite furry couple to light the fires? XD  In any case, enjoy and can’t wait to hear what’cha all think.

PROTECT:

Flipping her book to a new page, Sally’s eyes began to read over the new lines of the beginning paragraph. The curl of a smile began to form more as she read on with the book. Said book was actually was not the full release novel. Wanting to encourage her friends’ new hobby, Sally had offered to be a beta-reader and thus the manuscript was in her hand; a manuscript that Nicole had already bound as a book to ‘sell the experience’, a rather cute gesture Sally appreciated since she did enjoy the ‘feel’ of a book in her hands. As she moved to the next page, she softly chuckled. “I think Nicole is channeling you into the male love interest, he reminds me so much of you Sonic.” The book was actually a thriller but there was a romance subplot, and Sally couldn’t help but notice two of the lead characters channeled Sonic and herself. There was another female character who seemed to be trying to romance both, and this made Sally raise an eyebrow as that character felt like a fusion of Nicole and Bunnie. Was Nicole just being creative or was she projecting something into her hobby?

With the book obscuring her view, she didn’t see Sonic but could hear him walking back into their bedroom from the adjacent bathroom, having finished brushing his teeth. “Oh? So how does this fictional guy remind you of moi?” He playfully inquired, his footsteps softened as the bed shook, indicative of him crawling onto it from the bottom edge.

After she finished scanning the current paragraph, the skin under her fur began to blush as a ‘love scene’ started, and again she had to wonder if Nicole was somehow psychic or if she could ‘see’ things through the nanites regardless of her wishes; or in a worst-case, ‘Sally-did-not-want-to-believe-it’ scenario, a voyeur. Especially since the scene described the two characters slipping into a utility closet for a ‘quickie’; which invoked a memory or two Sally had of Sonic and her doing similar things. Shaking her head, she dismissed such a crazy notion; it wasn’t an uncommon romantic story set-up, so that was probably the case, making her feel silly for even considering Nicole would have peeped on Sonic and her.

“Long and short of it sweetie, he’s got your flair for ‘smooth style’ as you put it.” She answered her husband, moving to the next page. Suddenly she felt her nightgown being pulled up past her thighs and belly, making her lower the manuscript and stare at her husband with a slight frown and raised an eyebrow. “Sonic, what are you doing? I’m not in the mood.” She flatly told him; and she wasn’t despite the slight spicy turn in the novel she was prereading.

Looking at his wife, Sonic put a hand to his chest fur as if wounded by her accusation. “You think I would start being frisky without checking with my wife? For shame Sal!’ He ‘tsked’ and wagged a finger in the air. “Much as I enjoy lovin’ on you, my goal is to do this.” With that statement said, Sonic then laid his head on Sally’s four and a half month pregnant belly. His ears began to twitch as he nuzzled and listened for any sounds or signs of movement within. A hand rested along her belly where his head was not resting, slowly, softly stroking in tender circular motions. The expression on his face was a mixture of pride, love, happiness, and something, Sally could not put a word to it; but it made her heart melt seeing her beloved husband so, in-love with the lives growing inside of her.

Smiling Sally put a bookmark between the pages of the manuscript and set it on the nightstand, content to just watch her husband rest on her belly. “You can’t get enough of that can you?”

Flashing his own smile her way, he made a sound that was just joyful as his cheek nuzzled her swollen-with-child belly. “They need to hurry and come on out.”

“Three and a half months at the least Sonic, you can wait a little longer. Not that I don’t wish they could hurry from time to time myself.” Sally couldn’t help but giggle some at his impatience but ultimately she also sympathized. She wanted her little bundles in her arms as well. So far she was enjoying her pregnancy; the highs and lows together even if the lows were sometimes unbearable. Sally was someone who liked to be in control of her faculties, and her hormones making her irrational at the drop of a hat was not entirely her idea of fun.

Still, the upside outweighed that, but she would be happy to not have her bladder kicked every half hour! After a moment’s debate, Sally gripped her nightgown bunched up just under her chest and pulled the article off and cast it aside.

Craning his head, Sonic sent her a playful smile. “I thought you weren’t in the mood?” Laughing she playfully smacked his arm. “I’m not, I just got a hot flash, and well- these!” She gestured to her chest which had gained some growth. “They felt too confined, and urgh heavy! How much milk does my body think I need to produce?!”

Unable to help himself, Sonic laughed as his lovely wife hefted her breasts while looking out of sorts with the recent hormonal developments. As she pouted at him, he waved a hand apologetically in the air. “S-sorry Sal, just watching you juggle them around is too damn funny! P-plus if I may be frank it’s kinda probably a thing since you’re having twins. Remember how much my Mom got bigger in the chest when she was pregnant with Sonia and Manik? Plus if our kids have my metabolism they’ll be hungry suckers.”

Pouting she quickly if carefully stops hefting her chest and crossed her arms. “The next time ‘YOU’ have our child. I am making it a royal decree. Let’s see how much you laugh with the back-pain, bladder control issues, cravings, and hyper mood-swings.”

Snorting Sonic sat upon his knees, a hand still on her belly. “I kinda lack the equipment Sal, so decree all you want.”

As Sally opened her mouth to make a retort, she slowly closed her mouth, then opened it again but yet as before closed it as she could not think of a solid argument. Pouting in frustration she threw her hands up in the air. “Fine you win this one.”

Having dealt with her mood swings enough, Sonic could see she was one-foot in the midst of one; hence her insistence he carry the next kid despite being a biological impossibility. Moving his hand from her belly he scooted down the bed toward her upper half and gently slid his hand around one of hers and squeezed. “Hey don’t frazzle yourself hun, I just got one over ya’ this time. No big.”

“I know, it’s just mildly annoying when my hormones make my mind or mouth run away without a clear thought.” She murmured, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her free hand. Looking his way, she smiled warmly. “I appreciate you putting up with me when I get out of sorts.”

“Hey fair’s fair, you put up with me.” He winked, which as he hoped got her to laugh. “There we go, have a chuckle hun, let the bad vibes out of your system. Plus heck if you really don’t wanna do this again we don’t have to have anymore kids.”

She nodded, looking thoughtful as she pondered this. “Suppose we do?” “We can adopt.” He pointed out.

Sally couldn’t help but consider all angles; “Suppose I lose my mind and want to be pregnant again?”

Sonic shrugged, “Stuff to consider when we come to that bridge Sal. Right now, just focus on these two. I have a feeling they’ll keep us busy and on our toes well enough. Whatever we decide we decide together.”

Unable to not smile, she brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. “I love you, and thank you for putting me at ease about those future thoughts.”

“S’what husbands are for right?” He chuckled kissing her back before moving back towards her belly. Once back in place, Sonic resumed resting against his wife’s belly, planting a warm kiss against the lump housing their children. “Mama and Daddy kicked all the bad guys butts for you before you were born, but we’re gonna protect you still when you come into the world.” He coo’d, as he continued to massage his wife’s abdomen which had a soothing effect on Sally as she relaxed against her pillows.

“Damn right we did, and mmmm, don’t stop.” A low moan of contentment left Sally as she found her eyes fluttering. She guessed it was time for bed after all. “...I want… I want to give them the best lives we can Sonic. That’s all I want for them.”

Glancing her way, Sonic slid a hand up to wrap around hers, squeezing as he then moved up the bed, now laying beside Sally and kissed her softly. “We will, that’s always gonna be the plan Sal, they ain’t ever gonna go through the crap we did, nor will they question if we love em’.”

Nodding softly as her eyes fluttered, Sally squeezed his hand, then moved her arms around him to pull him against her side like he was a cuddle toy. “I hope we’re ready, I want this but I worry I might not be good enough-.”

“I worry too Sal.” He gently interrupted, kissing her tired eyes as her sleepy expression grew across her face. “I worry too, but I know we’ll figure stuff we go together. Like we always have.” Nuzzling her cheeks, he reached down to pull the covers over her so she wouldn’t catch a cold. “Sleep sweetie, I love you.”

“Mmm love you too my sweet Hog’.” Sally murmured before sleep fully and utterly claimed her. Leaving Sonic to kill the light by the nightstand before he curled back against her, watching her sleep as he lets his own body relax. Sleep would come for him eventually, until then, he wanted to keep watch on his wife and unborn children.

Even in peace, he would keep protecting. It’s just how Sonic was, and always would be.     

#Sonsal #Sonally #boundingforfreedom #Sonsal Celebration Day 8 #prompt #protect #Sally Acorn #Sonic the Hedgehog #Archie comics #Archie Sonic #romance #pregnancy #babies incoming

[blissfulparker]

12 days of Christmas→day.5 T.H

Summary→when tom plans on proposing to you Christmas day and comes back 12 days before, what happens when untold feelings come back up

Warnings→ jealousy, fluff

A/n→i might not be super active next week but i will take my time with this series along with happiness is a butterfly

When Harrison walked into the new flat that he shared with Harry, he let out a  sigh of relief one that made his head hurt. He didn’t like how he was acting strange around tom, lying to him. he didn’t like how he was gonna try and kiss you before Tom got home. He felt guilty, so guilty for doing that to the both of you.

Can’t make it today, sorry!

Harrison sent the message to prevent any more awkwardness from happening. You were going to be Tom’s wife, he remembered. He tried to keep that in his head so it wouldn’t get ahead of him.

“Hey harry?” He called out and he walked out of his room with his computer in one hand and mug in the other.

“Yeah what’s up?” He sat his computer down and walked over to the coffee pot to get more coffee.

“If you had a girlfriend and another guy had a crush on her, what would you do?” He took a seat at the counter and Harry shrugged.

“Not quite sure, I mean...if he was making a move on her then I’d be a little pissed but If he just thought she was pretty? Wouldn’t find it that intimidating.” He shrugs as he adds milk into the coffee to give it more flavor. Harrison let’s out a sigh knowing truly what he did was wrong. “Why? Is it something with Amanda?” He asked and Harrison just shook his head.

“No, it’s nothing.” He reaches for his phone as just a distraction. He just stares blankly at his home screen and Harry comes back over to his computer.

“Wait…” he takes a sip and then sets the mug down. “This isn’t about (y/n), is it?” He asked and Harrison froze. “Haz, Toms gonna—“ he starts and Harrison rubs his temples.

“I know, I know.” He groans and Harry turns his full attention to him.

“So what happened? You were like completely over her for what? Two years? What happened now?” He asked and Harrison thinks of all the things that went so good but so wrong. Maybe it was the first day tom left. That day in October you were so emotional and held onto Harrison for comfort.

“I love you.” You mumbled into Toms sweatshirt as him and Harry were getting onto a plane to Chicago to do comic con and then taking another one to Ohio and would be gone until December. No break, no coming home for a weekend. Nothing. You’d be spending two months away and you two weren’t exactly use to super long distance. Even when he did Spider-Man he’d take you along and come home as much as he can. You would be able to come vist too, that was always a plus.

“I love you more.” He kisses your cheek and you melt into he kiss. You’re already dressed in his clothes to remember him when he’s gone. You wear his maroon hoodie and some old sweats that he couldn’t fit into anymore when he got big for Spider-Man. You wore those clothes like they were the best damn outfit anyone could give you.

“Promise to call me every night? Remember to take care of yourself okay? Brush your teeth, drink plenty of water, eat enough carbs and calories, remember to stretch—“ now you were just talking to hold onto him for a little longer.

“Babe, I know. You don’t have to tell me. I’ll call you every night and I promise I’ll do all of those things.” He rubs your shoulder and you feel your eyes water up again.

“I know, I know.” You kiss his jaw and play with his hoodie. “I’ll just miss you ‘tis all.” You try and smile and he nods.

“I’ll miss you too, so much.” He pulls you in for a soft kiss. “Lemme go say bye to Haz.” He softly smiles and goes over to his best mate.

The two hug each other and give a pat on the back. Harrison looks over and sees you giving a hug to Harry before he leaves. Harry was just like a brother to you, always. But Harrison, you could tell him anything without feeling judged.

“Take care of her mate.” Tom whispered into his ear and Harrison nodded.

“Of course.” He nods and tom gives him a smile before going back to you. He watches as you and Tom have a bond like no other, one he’s never seen before. One he wishes and hopes he has one day. Maybe with you or maybe with someone of his own.

He walks over to take you as he hears the sound of Toms flight being boarded. You calm yourself as you go into Harrison’s side. Tom never felt jealous of Harrison and you, he never felt the need to.

“I miss him already.” You wrap your arms around Harrison. You don’t even notice his heart speeding up and how he stiffened at your touch.

That was possibly the first time, for no reason at all, his feelings for you started coming back.

“Tom being gone happened I guess. It was just her and I and maybe I did get a little jealous that tom had her. She’s perfect and she’s beautiful. Maybe it felt good to feel like I was in a relationship with her for a little bit. Even if she didn’t feel anything back.” Harrison shrugged and Harry nodded.

“So her personality got the best of you?” Harry asked and haz nodded.

“Yeah, I guess. We’d be like cuddling and she’d just miss him and I was there. It’d feel so good, so perfect and then Tom would call and she’d jump up and smile and giggle with him.” He says in an almost disappointed voice.

“This is my favorite part.” You laid on Harrison’s chest as you two watched a movie. A Christmas movie in November. It was a perfect night for you. Popcorn, Christmas movie, curling up with some blankets and a friend.

“Yeah?” Harrison looked down and saw your excitement. Your eyes lit up and you stared at the screen.

“Yeah.” You spoke softly as you focused. The sound of your phone going off made you hop up, distracting yourself from the scene and going to see who it is.

“Tom...!” Haz would hear your excitement as you held the phone back from your face so you can see. You give Harrison your signature “I’ll be back” look and mouthing before leaving the room to talk to your boyfriend.

It was a simple thing that made Harrison snap back into the reality of you not being his. You were not his but you were toms. And you and tom were perfect for each other.

“Look, I know she’s perfect in a lot of ways and tom choose good. But her and Tom...they’re perfect for each other. You’ll find a girl just like her I promise.” Harry rubbed his shoulders and Harrison nodded. It was true, he would find someone like you. No, that girl wasn’t Amanda, it wasn’t some past hook up he had, he just had to be gentle and patient. And that’s what he had to be, patient because you were perfect for Tom and soon next year he’d be the best man at your wedding and give a speech of how wonderful you all truly are. He wouldn’t lie in that speech either, it’d be the most genuine speech he’s ever told and anyone would be lucky to have you. Anyone.

Tom was very lucky and he knew that but it was just sometimes Harrison wished it was him who went out last minute two days before Christmas to get the white elephant gift for the party and ran into you. It was selfish and maybe he wouldn’t run into you because that wasn’t his faith but Tom did and he’d never forget that night he came home bragging about you.

“I’m back!” Tom shouts as he tries to hold presents in his hands. Yes he had the people at the mall wrap them, he sucked at wrapping no matter how many people tried to teach him.

“What gifts you buy?” Harry looked up as he too was living with the both of you at the time.

“Sam and his girlfriend a gift, mum a gift from all of us because we forgot that, the gift for the white elephant party and oh a new ps4 controller for us.” He sets them all down and pulls the controller out of the bag for it to be taken by Harry. “And I think I just met the love of my life.” Tom places his hands on his hips. As he catches his breath.

“Yeah right, you said that two weeks ago at the club. She just wanted you to buy her a drink!” Harry reminded him and haz took the presents and organized them.

“Oh yeah?” He asked and tom nodded.

“Yeah.” He goes for his water and takes a sip before smiling a little.

“We were both rushing around the store and I ran into her completely by accident. She dropped her coffee can you believe this? it’s like a movie! Anyways she told me it was fine and I said no let me get you a new one so we went over to the coffee bean and I got her a new coffee and she told me she forgot presents for her sister and a party and I was like ‘no way me too!’ And then she told me how Christmas break this year was hard because she just got done helping to write a script for a movie and so I was like “I’m an actor” and she said she noticed me but didn’t want to say anything to make it akward but she liked my movies and then I told her how pretty she was and gave her my number and she gave me hers and then she paid for my gifts when we were in Macy’s and so I told her let me pay her back and now I’m taking her to dinner after Christmas.” Tom proudly states and the boys look at him in shock. Tom scrambles to pull out his phone and pull up your Instagram that you gave him. The winter theme ended up matching your personality.

“A film student. Graduates this year. You sure she’ll have time for you mate.” Haz teases but you were really pretty. You ice skating, you setting up a tree, you making cookies, you volunteered at the animal shelter, you were almost made up. Simply like some guys fantasy that came to life. So gorgeous and so perfect.

“Shut up. She’s pretty isn’t she?” He put his phone away and the boys nodded.

“Yeah, she is. So I don’t know what she’s doing wasting her time with you.” Harry teased and tom tackled the boy on the couch and that caused Harrison to join and pull them off.

That night was the spark to something life changing for Tom and Harrison knew that. He knew that he’ll find someone but not you.

12 days of Christmas Taglist: @bibby-baby​ @spideylovin​ @wonderland-londonboy​ @peter-man-parker​ @sleepingthestral​ @spiderbibby​ @thevelvetseries​ @simplylia​ @sighbastian​

Permanent Taglist: @angelsparkers​ @dahliaspidey​ @parkersvibes​ @itssss-a-bean @ppkrtingle​ @myfinalwords​ @bocaul @tinyplanet-explorers @sincerlyfan @softbaby-tom @awesomeblackcottontail @rosebeegraham @stormyholland @unicorn-princess-1999 @spideyyypeter​ @marshyrebelcloud​ @oh-epiphany @yeahimcrying @highlydisfunctional1 @disgustangg​ @pterstingle @quacksonhq @starlightparker @reblogsfics @tomsrebeleyebrow​ @dreamyyholland

#tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland smut #tom holland fan fic #tom holland x you #imagine tom holland

[r6shippingdelivery]

This goana be a big one All OP's Christmas tradition can be sexual if you want. Ps mean all of them

Whenever I get an ask for all of the ops, I’ve always kept those family friendly, so if you don’t mind… Holiday traditions for all the ops! I also want to thank everyone who’s helped me with this and endured my questions and prying, thank you so much @demilitarised-zone, @grain-crain-drain, @cerosin & @aesos-caliber. Any mistakes remain my own, y’all did an awesome job helping me!

FBI

Ash: Eliza Cohen is Jewish, she celebrates Hannukah, not Christmas. She feels a little alone in the endless sea of Christmas decorations, but she’s happy to see everyone around her being cheerful and festive. If anyone actually tells her “Happy Hannukah” instead of “Merry Christmas” she might feel inclined to share one of her sufganiyot with them. 

Thermite: He loves to decorate the place with luminarias (lights or candles in paper bags). He also makes wreaths out of barbed wire. Nobody knows if he’s kidding or not when he says that’s actually a longstanding tradition in Texas.

Pulse: He takes gingerbread houses very seriously, and tries to make them as elaborate as his baking experience allows him. Do NOT mess with Pulse’s gingerbread houses. Ever.

Castle: Tinsel, baubles and lights might look very pretty, but for Castle it doesn’t feel like a true Christmas tree unless it’s decorated with pop-corn threaded on a string too.

SAS

Thatcher: He doesn’t go carol singing, but it’s the only time of the year he’ll go to a church service, and then right to the pub. Also, the Queen’s speech is sacred and a must hear every year, no excuses and no clowning around when her Majesty is on the telly.

Sledge: His favourite celebration is Hogmanay (New Year’s Eve), with the street parties and bonfires and fireworks. Aside from that, every year he burns a yule log, and if he’s argued with someone recently, he’ll burn too a branch of rowan tree, to clean the air and start the New Year with a clean slate. Not that he truly believes it works, but it’s still a nice tradition.

Smoke: If anyone asks him, he’ll say his favorite thing from the Holidays is getting stuffed with good food. However, now that his daughter is a teen, he’ll admit he used to love writing with her a letter to Santa, and then watching her face of wonder when she opened the exact presents she had wished for.

Mute: He only celebrates Christmas because everyone around him does, not because it has any significance to him. But fitting in is easier if you go along with it, and it is a fun festival, even if he’s not the best at gift giving.

GIGN

Montagne: He loves visiting Christmas markets, walking around, buying a new figurine or ornament. He as a sizeable collection of santons, even if most of the time he sets a pretty minimalistic crèche (nativity scene/manger)

Twitch: When she was a kid she used to celebrate St. Nicholas on the 6th of December, since it was an important tradition where she lived. Nowadays, she celebrates by distributing candy to her friends and teammates (and keeping a good portion for herself as well).

Doc: He is a muslim and doesn’t really celebrate Christmas. He appreciates the festive atmosphere, and doesn’t mind the decorations, but he doesn’t decorate his home, nor does he celebrate anything in particular. He’ll gladly make use of the free days to spend time with his family and friends tho, and also give to whatever charities are popular around these dates (which usually are kid related).

Rook: To him Christmas means good food - mostly scarfing down as much foie gras as he can, and having bûche de Noël (yule log cake) for dessert - and good company. He holds a small pre-Christmas team party every year, so he can celebrate with his teammates before he goes to visit and celebrate with his family.

Spetsnaz

Tachanka: Watching “The little blue light” (a variety TV show) right after midnight in New Year’s Eve, both him and his sister have been watching that literally all their lives. He used to dress up as Ded Moroz (Grandfather Frost) for his kids and nephews, but they’re too old for that nowadays.

Kapkan: After New Year’s, he’ll always go on a lone hunt for a few days and come back with fresh meat right in time to celebrate the Old New Year (on January 12th).

Glaz: After the celebration of the New Year and being in contact with more people than he usually handles, and drinking a lot more than it’s advisable, he’ll spend the next day  nursing a hangover and painting, isolated from the rest of the world. 

Fuze: He would say the home cooked food from his mother and grandma is the highlight of the Holidays, since he doesn’t care much for celebrating when they all feel his missing’s brother’s absence so keenly still.

GSG9

Jäger: He adores Christmas and still buys advent calendars for himself every year. He also inevitably forgets to open several days in a row and eventually binge eats all the sweets when he remembers. He hides it tho, because he doesn’t want people to think he’s childish.

Bandit: In contrast to Jäger, Bandit doesn’t care one whit about the Holidays. He’s of the opinion that the only good thing about Christmas season is Glühwein. Although, if he’s with his family, he will accompany his nephews on Epiphany day to go singing carols and get sweets.

Blitz: He will always organise a secret Santa event at the base before everyone scatters around for the holidays. Loves Christmas markets and the very American traditions of wearing tacky Christmas sweaters.

IQ: She likes to bake Christmas sweets, but dislikes her teammates hounding her for cookies. Aside from that, she’s pretty minimal in decorations and showing the Christmas cheer. Although she has an Aventskranz (advent wreath) and burns one candle every Sunday leading up to Christmas. 

JTF2

Buck: It’s not Christmas without Tourtiere (a traditional meat pie) and Buck is quite an expert in making those, the results are even better than the one his mother makes much to her frustration.

Frost: Moose Milk, a highly alcoholic beverage that’s a tradition in the Canadian Armed Forces. Frost is the undisputed champion of both preparing the Moose Milk and drinking more cups than anyone else.

SEAL

Valkyrie: For her Christmas is not complete without gifting (and in turn receiving) Poinsettia flowers, and eating tamales. And while a Christmas tree is a must, she still keeps with her family’s tradition of putting up a nacimiento (nativity scene), even if it’s much more minimalistic than the one her mother does.

Blackbeard: He participates in a Jingle bells 5k run, dressed as Santa. He likes dressing as Santa. Aside from that, he’s very particular about going to personally choose a tree, then set it and decorate it on his own.

BOPE

Capitao: What he misses the most is watching the kids have fun with  the Christmas play of “Os Pastores” (The Shepherds), he barely goes home nowadays, and there are no more children in the family for now either.

Caveira: She wishes for a proper amigo secreto (aka, secret Santa), where you give (and receive) small gifts all through December using an alias and some sneaking around, and then having to guess the identity of your secret Santa on Christmas’ day. 

SAT

Hibana: She sticks to the notion of Christmas being a time to spread happiness, and also a romantic time. She’ll give people small gifts, go admire the Christmas lights, and eat outside. If it can be a romantic dinner with her partner, even better.

Echo: To him Christmas means pretty lights, eating KFC and cake. And visiting Tokyo Disneyland if he’s in Japan during those days.

GEO

Jackal: He never celebrated Christmas much, he never saw the point in it when he doesn’t have a family to celebrate with. But he always liked all the traditions around New Year’s Eve to bring in good luck: eating the 12 grapes (one for each strike of the clock at midnight), wearing red underwear, dropping a golden ring on your champagne glass for your first toast at midnight; and most importantly, right after the clock strikes the end of the year, hugging the people gathered around you. It always gave him a feeling of comfort, as if he was part of a family.

Mira: Two words, Christmas lottery. She finds a way to buy some from Spain every single year, and then faithfully tune in on the 22nd of December to hear the kids from San Ildefonso’s schoolchanting the drawn numbers and prizes. It doesn’t feel like Christmas is about to start without that.

SDU

Ying: Christmas is synonymous with party, especially since it’s impossible to escape the Winterfest in Hong Kong. Who doesn’t like to party?

Lesion: He likes sending Christmas postcards, by traditional mail yes. And he’d be even happier to receive some as well. Aside from that, he doesn’t really celebrate Christmas.

GROM

Zofia: She likes to have a traditional Christmas, especially when it comes to Christmas’ Eve dinner. Even if most years she can’t really buy a live carp to kill herself as her dad did, she still has carp fillet on the menu. Always puts an extra place on the table, as it’s the tradition, but also because she hopes one day Ela will take up her offer to come.

Ela: The true Christmas tradition for her is avoiding her family, although Zofia keeps inviting her to spend either Christmas’ Eve or Christmas Day with them and meet her niece.

707SMB

Vigil: He prefers to spend the holidays either alone with his parents or with very few people around, he’s not comfortable with those big gatherings and parties everyone seems so fond of. And ice-cream cake from Baskin Robbins is a must. 

Dokkaebi: She still doesn’t get why so many westerners think that money is not an appropriate gift. It’s better than receiving something that one doesn’t like, right? All her Christmas decoration depict Granpa Santa with blue robes, and she will always argue blue is the right color, not red.

CBRN

Lion: He always attends midnight mass on the night of Christmas’ Eve. He used to hate it when he was a kid going with his parents, but now he finds it calming and comforting.

Finka: She misses celebrating Kalyady, which mixes the pagan celebration of the winter solstice with the celebration of Christmas and New Year. Caroling is so much fun when you also dress up with masks of animals or fantastical beasts.

GIS

Maestro: Christmas means family gatherings for him, and home baked Panettone, and carol singing and visiting the Christmas Markets. Will invite to his table anyone who mentions not having plans for the holidays, since nothing seems worse to him than being alone on Christmas.

Alibi: While her family doesn’t celebrate Christmas, she sometimes will celebrate it with friends if she doesn’t have those days free to go home to visit her family. The thing she likes the most is decorating. Proper, tasteful decorating, not those kitsch nightmares so many people seem so fond of! 

GSUTR

Clash: She loves Boxing Day as much or even more than Christmas, cause while family meetings can sometimes be a little tense, she’s always felt at ease with her friends; and especially after joining Rainbow, she’s dying to celebrate with them.

Maverick: It’s been years since he last celebrated Christmas, between being deployed and then, well, imprisoned for a time. He remembers he used to go watch “The Nutcracker” almost every year, and build snowmen Santas, but it seems like that was a lifetime ago.

GIGR

Kaid: Doesn’t celebrate Christmas and he’s not very fond of the over-the-top decorations that pop up everywhere. He’s a bit grumpy about it, especially since doing good deeds for the community sounds like what the holidays should be about. He actually likes that bit.

Nomad: She doesn’t celebrate Christmas either, but doesn’t mind participating in the festivities. She’s travelled all over the world and observed the local traditions when she was there, this is no different.

SASR

Mozzie: He will sing the carol “Six White Boomers” 8about how Santa’s reindeers are replaced by kangaroos since the heat is too much for them) until everyone is either sick of it or knows the lyrics by heart or both. And also, beach barbecues!

Gridlock: For her Christmas means summer and going to the beach and Santa in a surfboard. The idea of a white Christmas is very aesthetically pleasing, but in reality she hates it and can’t wait to go back to a place where Christmas means beach parties.

USS

Warden: He has to have some fruitcake (mostly nuts, some other dried fruits, and spices) soaked in bourbon. It’s a true delicacy, trust him, he’s a man of refined tastes, right?

JGK

Nokk: The tradition she likes the best is, before opening any presents, lighting up the tree (with real candles instead of lights if possible) and walk around it while singing carols. She and her mother used to sing and twirl around the tree as fast as possible, until they were almost dizzy and laughing.

APCA

Amaru: She will make dark hot chocolate with cinnamon and cloves for everyone. The fireworks at midnight on Christmas’ Eve are a must, as is gathering at home with her family and closest friends.

FES

Goyo: It’s not Christmas without ponche and rompope (more or less equivalents to punch and eggnogg, and alcoholic). He also likes to eat pozole, although his is never quite as good as the one his mom cooked for him. (And no, tía Azucena, he’s too old for a Posadas party, stop bringing piñatas!)

NIGHTHAVEN

Kali: She doesn’t celebrate that, and doesn’t really give any special free days to her men either. Lucrative opportunities for work don’t stop just because it’s Christmas or New Year, quite the contrary she would say.

Wamai: He doesn’t care much about celebrating Christmas or not. The only special consideration he’ll take is to eat meat instead of fish (since his fishing family always had meat that day as a treat) and have a couple of strong drinks, maybe with Kali, and she will even smile at his toast. Those are his only indulgences for the holidays.

#rainbow 6 siege #r6s #rainbow six siege #headcanons #jeskiller234 #I had to google so much stuff and make an express learning of all these traditions #sadly I don't know someone from each one of these countries #if you see any mistakes corrections are more than welcome!