#yes i did edit the sugar lyrics to have the ‘his’ like it says in that booklet 😭

[makeyoumine69]

0% Angel

◥ PAIRING: Sugar Daddy!Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader

◥ SYNOPSIS: Patrick is obsessed with you and you're gonna pay for this.

◥ WARNINGS: NSFW │ Rough vaginal sex, oral sex (f&m), fingering, cum swallowing, Patrick being a dick, unexperienced reader, obsessive and toxic behaviour, degradation kink, minor size kink, daddy kink, praise kink, belly bulge, dirty talk, overstimulation, choking, spanking, pet names.

◥ WORDCOUNT: 3.4k (👉👈)

◥ A/N: As you can see from the title, I was inspired by the song Mr. Kitty - 0% Angel from this American Psycho edit (coz I think the lyrics fits him so perfectly). As always, I hope you like it! 🥰

◥ LINKS: [Sweet like a Cupcake Masterlist] [Main Masterlist]

Goddamn you Patrick, you thought as someone touched you in the back while you were trying to dance in the middle of the dance floor. You didn’t have any idea why this narcissistic king took you to this place exactly. Oh wait, where else could he have asked you out to other than to the best nightclub in New York City, even though it was busy as hell?

Cursing to yourself, you continued to move to the energetic music when you suddenly heard Patrick’s voice from behind:

“There you are!” He smiled as you turned around, coming closer. “I was looking for ya, Cupcake...”

“Why? What happened?”

“Let's go somewhere private, so we can talk.” He smirked again, but in another way that made your heart flutter. 

He didn’t even give you a chance to say something in response as he took you by the hand, pushing some guys aside who were standing in your way. As you moved through the crowd of dancing people, you were looking at his back and trying to guess - what was he up to this time?

Patrick was suspiciously silent the whole way, and his firm grip made you worry. No wonder, that after a while, you found yourself pressed against the wall of the small private room as he was ravenously attacking your mouth.

“P-Patrick…” You sighed languidly against his lips. 

The way he trapped you in his arms left you almost breathless, and you couldn't make more than gasp through his passionate kisses. With a soft growl, Patrick finally gave you a slight break before he leaned down to your neck, leaving a wet line of hickeys. 

“Is that what you wanted to speak about?” 

“O-oh yes, sweetie,” he crooned as he snuggled harder into you. “I wanted to “speak with ya” from the moment we got here.”

His powerful arms were exploring every part of your shivering form, especially your hips and your ass. Yes, this man was addicted to your pretty body, and he would not stop. You closed your eyes, feeling his big palms sliding under your not-too-short dress when you heard his disgruntled voice.

“What is this?”

“What’s wrong?” You asked confusedly, staring at him from under your lashes. 

“Did I tell ya to take them off when I’m around?” He hissed, pulling on your panties. 

Sighing, you blushed right away as you tried to avoid his gaze but he didn’t let you, fixating you by the chin and forcing you to look into his eyes. Scowling, Patrick touched your lips as if by a chance and then, he moved his hand up to your cheek to pinch it a bit.

“I have no words for how disappointed I am in you for behaving like this,” he clicked his tongue loudly. “But I also must admit, you have such cute cheeks.”

His velvet voice was affecting your body stronger than you thought it could and of course, he wouldn't miss it. With a dark smile on his face, he unexpectedly knelt down to pull up the hem of your dress, causing your legs to shake a bit from his sudden assault.

“What usually happens to the kids when they don’t listen to their parents?” He smirked from his place, petting your right hip shamelessly.

“Why… Why are you even asking?” 

To your surprise, Patrick said nothing - he just cupped your ass and squeezed it a bit too harshly, making you whine from unexpected pain, but he didn’t even notice it. 

“I don’t think ya need them anymore,” he sneered, slowly removing your wet underwear. “Am I right, sweet cheeks? Fuck, you’re dripping so much already.”

Desperately catching the air, you let him pull down your panties, standing still in anticipation of his next move. Tempted by the picture of your exposed body, he palmed the inner side of your thigh, forcing you to spread your legs. Sheepishly, you closed your eyes as you felt his muscular hands moving up and down your shaking hips.

“Baby girl,” he purred, looking at you from below. “So shy, mmhm… So delicate, so innocent…”

With each word he said, Patrick’s face was getting closer to your blushing pussy; his lips twitched in a devilish smirk when he heard your nervous gasps.

“Please, wait,” panting, you leaned onto his shoulders to slow him down a bit. “Someone could see us!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll cover you.” Chuckling, he winked at you, tickling you a little before his hot mouth finally reached the place where you needed him the most.

“P-Patrick, oh, my God…”

Tilting your head, you literally sprawled against the wall behind you, from the way his experienced tongue was painting wet lines against your folds. With a slurping sound, Patrick latched his lips around your clit, alternating between sucking on it and licking it. 

All things he was doing with your body felt like total bliss. However, you still couldn’t completely relax and that pissed him off slightly: “C’mon, Cupcake. Open up for me,” he demanded, grabbing your hips and literally making your straddle his face as he put one of your legs on his broad shoulder. “I know you like this…”

“Patrick…” you nearly begged as his mouth continued to devour your pussy with animalistic hunger. “Someone…someone can get into this room and, a-ah…”

“And what?” He murmured against your tender flesh, swirling his wet tongue around your oversensitive nub.

“They can catch us doing this…” You mewled, flinching in his grasp.

“Oh, dear. Do ya really think that someone can stop me?” he grinned and slapped your ass harshly, squeezing it after and making you squeak from the burning sensation on your skin. “Nothing and no one could ever stand between us, I want you to remember this, Cupcake.”

Puzzled, you didn’t really know how to react on his sudden revelation. To be fair, now you could only think about saving your ability to breathe, that was vanishing with each second of his eager ministrations. 

“Pat…A-aww! I can’t take it…a-ahh, a-any longer…”

You desperately needed to hold on to something and when you didn’t find any other options than his perfect coiffed hair, you just grabbed his soft strands, making them look fluffy almost immediately. Later, Patrick would be definitely so angry about it, but in that moment, you simply didn’t care, feeling nothing but total delight from the way his tongue was fucking your tight hole, along with his beautiful nose rubbing against your clit.

This man knew exactly how to set you on fire, each time you and him got alone together and fuck, he was so good at it. 

“Not yet, my pretty (Y/N),” Patrick teased you and, unfortunately, broke away from your super soaked cunt. “I still have to fuck you.”

Elegantly as ever, he stood up, fixing his suit before he encircled your waist with a light push; his powerful body looked so huge compared to yours, especially when he was looking at you from above.

“Maybe we shouldn't do it?” you watched his long fingers sliding across your face and getting closer to your mouth. “I still haven't adjusted to all these things and …”

Bateman didn’t let you finish, pressing his soft lips against yours and playing with your tongue. You couldn’t help but moan through the kiss, making him grin in satisfaction as he had gotten so addicted to all your innocent reactions.

“Don’t worry, doll. I’ll prep you…” he whispered, looking into your eyes. “I’m always eager to take care of my sweet Cupcake…”

Hot bothered, Patrick licked your face from the chin to the cheek and then, as if spellbound, you let his fingers slip into your mouth, suckling them with pleasure. 

“Mmm, good girl.” Before you reacted, his sneaky digits reached your needy core, sliding into it like clockwork. 

“P-Patrick! Mmmh…” 

“Shhh, babe. I got you.” He crooned, leaning to your neck and tickling your earlobe as he pressed you harder against the wall.

Shaking like a leaf, you were instinctively trying to break free from his grip as this whole physical contact was getting too much for you, but Patrick would never allow you to run away from him. Never.

Although, he didn’t plan to make you cum right now, his digits were buried deep inside your feverish cleft, massaging your most sensitive spot and stretching your inner walls so masterfully.

“Baby, look over here,” his palm laid on the back of your neck, forcing you to lean down. “You see? Your tight pussy’s taking my fingers so greedily...I bet she wants more than that, right?”

Timidly, you submitted to his will, watching his skillful digits disappearing in your dripping cunt and that almost sent you over the edge, but Patrick stopped timely once again, perfectly controlling the whole situation.

Later when you heard him undoing his pants, you made a sharp breath and turn your head away; your chest was rising and falling so rapidly as your heart was about to do a flip.

Frowning in anticipation, Patrick briefly stroked your cheek before he grabbed your right leg under your knee, lifting it up and moving to the side a bit. Whimpering quietly, you felt his hard flesh rubbing against your moist pussy as he was smearing your slickness all around his big cock. With a small pressure, he took you by the chin, forcing you to look at him as he pushed himself into your inner channel.

“A-aw, Patrick…” Clawing at his expensive jacket, you had to bite your lip to hold back a loud moan.

“It’s just the tip, baby.” He chuckled, looking down where you were attached to each other.

“But… B-but I already feel so full...”

“I can tell,” growling, he continued to stretch you from the inside, making you squeal and shiver in his brawny arms. “Kinda challenging for this pretty little hole of yours?”

“I… I can say so,” you tried your best to keep talking, but with every inch he made it was getting harder for you even to breathe. “You…A-aw, you’re so b-big.”

“Oh, I know, my cinnamon girl.”

Clinging you securely, he eventually bottomed out into you completely. A muffled moan of pleasure fell from his smirking lips as he was pounding into your shivering body in a steady pace.

“P-Patrick…” you suddenly cried out, breathing heavily as you were about to see stars. “I can’t… I… A-aahh.”

You needed just a few deep thrusts to cum so hard around his beefy cock. Patrick had to shush you with a kiss, pressing you against his solid chest as right now you couldn’t control your body–you were literally drowning in the ocean of pleasure.

“Fuck, you’re milking my dick so good.” He sneered, tugging on your lower lip as he kept fucking you through your orgasm.

“Mhm…daddy.” 

“What?” panting, he froze in shock. “What did you say?”

“N-nothing.” You stammered a bit, feeling yourself embarrassed as never.  

“No, no, no, it doesn't work like that,” he grunted, wrapping his hand around your neck and pulling you closer to have a proper look on you. “Say it again, you dumb little slut!”

Breathing furiously through his red nostrils, he nearly spit out the words, while his hips were slowly meeting yours as his thick cock was still plunged deep inside your pulsating womb.

“I said–daddy!” You gulped, watching his eyes getting even darker with each passing second.

Patrick let out a light chuckle and then, he squeezed your throat, pushing the air out of your lungs. “My, my…a good girl with a dirty mind, huh?”

The things that happened after, you remembered like in a slow-motion movie: 

With no resistance, Patrick turned you around with your face pressed against the wall, your hands were restricted behind your back in his firm grip. The delirious sensation of his hard cock brushing against your cervix soon replaced an unpleasant feeling of emptiness. Then suddenly, he was rocking into you from behind.

“Pat…Patrick, ahh…it’s so deep, mmmh,” Your pitiful wails echoed across the room, which of course could be heard outside. 

Smirking, Patrick only slapped your ass in return, setting up the pace and almost fucking you into the wall. “Huh, I can almost feel my cock in your belly, I bet it feels so good…” He murmured, pressing his hand against your lower abdomen to outline the bulge his beefy shaft was making.

Watching you being so helpless, trembling in his powerful arms, crying out so loud– became his special type of pleasure as he enjoyed every little detail of his dark plan to corrupt you, claim you as his and no one could stop him.

“Aa-ahh, I didn’t expect this sweet little mouth to make such nasty sounds...” he growled in a low voice, watching his dick slipping in and out your creamy pussy. “Mmmh, Cupcake…Maybe we should watch more porn together?”

Patrick spanked your butt once again, before he returned his hand on your neck, squeezing it and making your eyes roll to the back of your head from his merciless thrusting and lack of air.

“A-aww…I’m so close, please…” Your tears were running down to your chin, mixing up with your saliva and falling on the floor.

“If ya really want to cum, keep your hands to yourself,” he husked into your ear, placing his large palm between your shaking legs. “A-ah…Tell me…Tell me that you’re a dirty whore…Who needed to be fucked by daddy so badly?”

“Y-yesss, d-daddy, please…I beg you!”

With a feral noise, Patrick pressed a sloppy kiss on your shoulder, rubbing your throbbing clit between his experienced fingers. And soon, he had to shut your mouth with his hand as a new release washed over you like a tsunami, making your legs give way from the overwhelming sensation of total delight.

“Get on your knees, now!” he suddenly barked, pushing you down by your shoulders. “Open your mouth, slut!”

Lost, you looked up at him, seeing nothing but pure lust, glowing in his brown eyes, realizing that there was no another choice–only full submission. When you did what he said, you felt a searing pain, burning your throat as he was ramming into your mouth at a high pace. Groaning, Patrick was about to crest his high, fixating you by your hair and enjoying the way you were moaning whenever your nose was hitting his pubis.

“Such a nasty little bitch, sucking daddy’s cock so well… f-fuck…” he gasped as his thrusting was getting sloppier with each passing moment. “Gonna cum into your sweet innocent mouth, Cupcake…aaa-ah…”

Whimpering, you had to claw at his hips from the way he was fucking your face, but it didn’t help. With a low muffled growl, he unloaded his warm seed right into your throat and you almost gag onto his cock as he pushed himself as deep as he could, holding you in one place and not letting you move away. 

“Swallow it, (Y/N),” he demanded in a raspy voice, wrapping your hair onto his fist. “Swallow it to the last drop…”

You sobbed but obeyed, trying your best to keep breathing through your nose, and thanking God that Patrick didn’t decide to close your nostrils. Feeling yourself used as never, you stuck your tongue out, showing him your full submission. Although, he tasted so delicious you would never accept it, just as you would never let him know how painfully addicted to him you became.

“Good girl,” he was tucking his shirt with a satisfied smirk. “Go to the ladies' room and get yourself cleaned up. I will wait you downstairs, near the dance floor.”

It has been over 15 minutes since he left; you were still sitting on the floor with your back pressed to the wall. Exhaustion was hitting you so hard, you didn’t even remember how you reached the powder room. Also, you didn't know how long it took you to freshen up yourself, your clouded mind refused to work at all.

When you finally fixed yourself, you got downstairs, searching for Patrick and feeling your head spinning so badly. Holding your forehead, you didn’t notice a random guy walking beside you, bumping into him. 

“Wooo hoooo, what have we here?” He crooned in unpleasantly sweet tone, rubbing his palms.

They way his filthy gaze was tracing all over your body left you completely speechless when you heard Patrick’s grumpy voice: “Hey you! Get out of here before someone gets the wrong idea.”

“Okay, okay. I get it. I get it.”

The guy raised his hands in the air in a surrendering way, before he disappeared in the crowd behind Patrick’s back.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” he cupped your face, looking into your eyes. “You know him?”

“No…It was my fault, to be honest. I didn’t see him coming…”

“Forget about it. Lets go to our seats. I will get you something tasty, you must be so hungry. After our little fun…” He cooed with you, encircling your waist as you moved across the dancefloor. 

When you had almost reached your table, an unfamiliar female voice called out suddenly for Patrick. Turning around, you saw a beautiful woman with blonde hair and red lipstick. She was definitely a model–you thought, looking at her from head to toe, noticing how extremely short her black dress was.

“Patrick, I thought I was mistaken.” She smiled at him, pretending you were not here.

“Hello,” he grinned in reply, and there was something wrong in the way they were starring at each other. “Cupcake, go get yourself a drink. I will join you shortly.” Patrick whispered into your ear and handed you some money, as he was gently hugging your shoulders.

“Really?” Was the only thing you said.

“Be a good girl and just do what I say, okay?” 

Slipping out of his grasp, you didn’t know how to react, feeling yourself confused and…bruised.

What was that strange feeling in your chest, was it a fucking wound that he left a long time ago when you first learned about not being the only woman in his selfish life? 

You promised to yourself that you wouldn’t turn around, but you did and something inside you broke from the picture you just saw. You felt a terrible drop in your stomach, watching the way Patrick held that woman in his muscular arms, just like he was holding you some moments ago. 

Sadly, you shook your head and continued your way to the bar, trying so hard to forget the things which couldn’t be forgotten. Not now, not later. He was everywhere: in your mind, in your soul, it seemed like he was even in your blood…

Lost in thought, you didn’t notice that you made it to the bar, looking around like a lost kitten. Tired and exhausted, you took a seat, fumbling with the bills in your hands before you crumpled them with anger, ripping them apart; some tears dropped onto the counter beside you.

“Ma'am, what would you like to drink?” a sudden male voice made you flinch and came back to the reality. “Is something wrong?”

Brushing your tears away, you looked up at the young bartender who was standing across the bar counter. “No, I guess. Everything is fine.”

“That doesn't seem to be true…” he pulled out a small glass from under the counter. “Nobody should be sad, especially pretty girls like you.”

You smiled through the pain, watching him making a shot for you, but you couldn’t tell which one exactly. 

“Here you go,” he put a drink on the counter. “I hope it will cheer you up a bit.”

“Thank you, but I…I’m afraid I don’t have any money to pay.” You looked at the torn bills in your hands.

“Compliments of the house.”

With these words, the bartender walked away to another client, and you were alone once again. After some time, you suddenly caught yourself thinking that you didn’t want Patrick to come back for you… No, you were about to leave this place right now and you didn’t care if he would be so-fucking-angry with your misbehaviour. To make yourself even more brave, you drank a glass in one gulp and then; you thanked the bartender for being so nice and headed to the exit. To be fair, you were so nervous about meeting Bateman on your way to the main door, but thank God you didn’t. 

That was the first time you were coming home alone, and it seemed like you would have to get used to it. Next time you would see him, you let him know–you were not "sweet" anymore. Just like there was no more “Cupcake", and it felt like there never was…

#patrick bateman x reader #patrick bateman smut #patrick bateman imagine #patrick bateman headcanon #patrick bateman #slasher x reader #slasher smut

[holdinbacksecrets]

your honey's in his eyes

AN: jungkook x female reader. angst, comfort. TW: estranged parent

music: safety zone by j hope (some lyrics included/lyrical influence) & birds by the sea by banks (listened to while editing, and the feeling it creates… yes)

⤷ while writing: my bts breathe playlist

“what do you want?” 

“anything but this. can’t you see what you’ve done? the tears i’ve poured. the bridges i built with my hands that you chose to light on fire. you smiled as they burned.”

“you’re putting a lot on me.” 

“are you trying to say it’s not fair for me to do? that you deserve kinder words? my humanity? my millionth chance to rebuild? my hands are calloused. my heart is hidden by scar tissue, and—“

he doesn’t know you well enough to see the words left unsaid, spinning around in your head, pressed tightly against an emotional dam. 

“—this is the last time i'll be seeing you.” 

it’s a broken heart in front of your eyes. it’s severed strings taken away with the wind, and names that no longer feel the same. letters you would be ok to never see again so close together.

it was hard to look at him for the final time, but you made yourself stare until you choked and turned away. 

the weight of your body felt heaviest that afternoon when you walked away and left behind the remaining hope. the daydreams of your walk down the aisle. the introduction to the man in your life. he's the only lover you’ve ever known, and now, it will never come. 

the breakdown is waiting for you. the tears are ruthless in the safety of your rental car. windows tinted for reasons that could never define this moment. 

you know these streets like the back of your hand. you could drive them with your eyes closed. the muscle memory is impossible to turn off, get rid of, toss out. 

you pull into an empty spot. the street is lined with cars. it’s a tuesday morning in october. you have no idea why so many people are out, but your stomach grumbles, and your attention turns to the cafe in front of you. 

it’s new, which is something you appreciate seeing in the only town that holds your oldest memories, but this place is unknown. you can sit in a booth all alone and pretend to be somewhere else. 

the cinnamon sugar bagel with strawberry cream cheese is sitting on a white plate in front of you. it's beside one of those vanilla lattes with pumpkin spice, hoping the spices will be enough to distract you from the pain in your chest. you thought your hunger would do the trick, but heartbreak is a fighter. she always wins. 

you force yourself to eat, realizing once it’s too late that today is the last day you’ll ever be able to stomach a cinnamon sugar bagel with strawberry cream cheese. thank god you didn’t order your favorite tea. 

the rain begins when you’re sipping the fall-themed latte. it pelts the windows. thunder rumbles. lightning strikes. your heart races. you admire the bright white against dark graphite, the bellowing clouds that would look dangerous in front of a younger you. now they’re beautiful: the cumulonimbus. 

jungkook calls you when the rain has softened enough to walk to your car. it took an hour. you ordered another latte and drank until you hated the taste.

his voice, like always, is unraveling. it breaks you open and apart and doesn’t take many words for tears to spill. it’s the baby and tell me what i can do because he doesn’t bother asking if you’re ok. what a waste of time. time he can’t dream of losing, knowing you’re fragile thousands of miles away. 

your words are shaky, but he hears the question: why did i come alone? 

you have two days left, and he books you a flight for that night. he asks if there’s anyone who can drive you to the airport, but you remind him you’ve never minded a drive. he asks you to call when you’re leaving hours later, to stay on the phone, even in silence, or while listening to music as you love doing together. a memory you’ve gladly wrapped around him. 

i should have come with you, he says. you shake your head, whispering no, breathing through the word. 

i didn’t want you here when it all fell apart. i didn’t want someone i love to be in a space that would make me unrecognizable. i wish i could show you a hometown with love in my eyes and glowing memories on the tip of my tongue- too many to keep up with.

it’s over, and he doesn’t have to ask. there’s finality in your voice. it’s monotone and chilling, and he wants to hold you in his arms. smooth love into your skin until you melt and feel like yourself again. he wants to spend the night listening and talking and learning what the hell happened. he’s written letters that were never sent to your mother, wanting answers. there are so many questions he’s afraid to ask. 

he couldn’t dare bring himself to ask after the night three years ago when you finally saw his place. when your eyes flashed with a fear he had never seen you wear, his heart skipped onetwothreefuckitfour beats. 

all it took was a picture of his family for you to break down. apologize and say you needed to go with tears in your eyes. your hands shook, and he wanted to reach out for you, but jungkook was terrified you’d imagine his hand as someone else’s. 

he didn’t know what to say that night, but the following day you called and asked if you could come over. he cleaned his apartment and searched his kitchen for breakfast, but you arrived with coffee and pastries. you hugged him as soon as your hands were free. 

jungkook felt you breathe him in. he knew you were reminding yourself of his safety, and that moment was earth-shattering. comparable to stars falling from the sky to only stop and find their place beside the moon again. that was the night he learned all you could say. you talked for hours, seeking the light from lamps when the sun had enough, and neither of you noticed the time passed. you did feel the tears he cried and lost. you felt his chest against your forehead when you fell into his embrace, needing it, asking for it, wondering if it was ok to rely on. hoping so.

jungkook heard the weight of your fears. he knew then why you had recalled your dating history with small shakes of your head once the conversation of exes came up. he didn’t push, but his surprise was palpable. you smiled, told him he’d learn soon enough. 

soon enough arrived, and the two of you spent the last three years learning to be together for each other and your individual needs. jungkook is gentle and caring, keen to guide you or slow down. he has always spoken differently—softer, with sincerity—than any other man you’ve ever known. 

your quiet moments allowed for time to see him, learn him, and give yourself freely when your trust bloomed and became subconscious, natural, reactionary. 

you trust him with your entire soul. your heart too. every groove. every plump part of you that craves love. that truth is seared into you, reflected in the hours spent driving to the airport that night, unwinding. 

jungkook cries too. you pull over in the dark and rest your cheek against the steering wheel. you can't do this anymore. you can't crave to be cared for, to be prioritized by a man who doesn't know how to love his daughter or care to try. 

seeing jungkook at the airport is nearly enough to forget about the hurt of the past 3 days, and the painful anticipation that came before you left diminishes when he hugs you. you’re consumed, and his i love you gains a new intensity, settling inside the home within your chest, and you feel the hands that made your shelter. 

when you arrive home and he's parked, jungkook takes your luggage from the car and holds your hand as you ride the elevator. there's a family in the small space, so the two of you stand together in the back corner. his thumb rubs love into your hand. you kiss his jacket-covered bicep. 

when the family leaves on the 5th floor, you turn into his chest. he stops the elevator. he softens your fall. he cradles you in his lap. jungkook’s own tears wet his cheeks, meet your hair on accident, searing over the parent who could do this to their child. 

“what did i do wrong? i prayed. i prayed to his God to fix this, me, him. i prayed for a needle and thread to stitch myself together better and present the version good enough to be his daughter. what- i pr- i prayed, for what?” 

"you did nothing wrong. you did the best you could, my love, but you can't give anymore. that's ok. it doesn't change anything about your worth. you are loved, lovable, already whole." 

you inhale, existing in the feeling his words create. “you’ll never meet him. is that ok with you?” 

jungkook doesn’t want to meet the man who drained the light from your eyes like their glow isn’t golden. 

“i support what you want, baby. what you’re comfortable with. i don’t need to meet anyone you don’t want me to.” 

tiny hiccups shake your body, and you’ve never felt so small or safe in jungkook’s arms. 

he promises himself to hold you until you shine again.

your heart is missing from your chest the next morning. you swear it’s not where it’s supposed to be. 

you reach out into the space beside you, feeling smooth cotton sheets against your palm. the comforter is pulled back. jungkook’s pillow is still indented, needing to be puffed and fluffed back to life. 

jungkook is in the kitchen making breakfast. he found the recipe for the apple cinnamon muffins you love and headed to the market at sunrise—he stayed up all night in case your dreams weren't sweet—hoping that would give him enough time to make a second batch if necessary. it wasn't, and they're pretty damn good.

coffee is brewing too. he’s just waiting for you. 

you join him with your hand over your chest, wondering if the home is still there, if the door's been locked, and the key's thrown away. is your heart empty? 

the almost panic disintegrates when you look up and find galaxy eyes twinkling like starlight. the porch light turns on. you can feel its warmth against your palm. that’s a good sign. puff and fluff you back to life. 

“good morning. i made breakfast if you’re hungry.” 

“good morning,” your voice is hoarse. you nearly frown at the sound, but jungkook is beaming. your boyfriend is elated to hear your voice and see your lips lift. they lift enough to be seen by his comforting gaze. “i could eat.”

“good, good. i can set the table? we could go back to bed? whatever you want, bug.” 

your bare feet pad across the hardwood floor until you stand before him. your eyes shift to meet his. “thank you.” your fingers run through his hair, and jungkook’s eyes widen before softening: dripping honey. 

your hand falls but not far enough to break the touch as your thumb fans across his cheek. you stand on your tippy toes before realizing the morning motion setting in to kiss his mouth. to press your love into its plushness, thank him for a second time. your lifeline. 

he wraps you up in an embrace, intertwining again in your kitchen. 

“i love you” is his you’re welcome. 

“i don’t hate those words because of you. i can’t bare the thought of them being ruined.”

“i’ll do everything i can to keep you like this and open to my heart, to me, to us.”

your eyebrows furrow, and you take a step back to see him entirely. “are you afraid i don’t want you anymore?” 

jungkook suddenly looks much younger and nervous about navigating these words with you. "no, i- i wasn't even thinking about that. i'm just..." 

“it’s ok.” you move closer, taking a seat on the countertop before guiding him to stand between your legs. “please say what you need to or want to.” 

“i have so many questions. i don’t know if their answers could even help me, but there are holes and question marks surrounding their unknowns. unknowns too close to you scare me.” 

your head falls to one side, understanding the feeling of darkness in unknowns. your hand meets his neck, and fingertips smooth your love away. it’s all for him anyway. 

“you can ask. i never mind your questions, jungkook. last night i was distraught…shaken… i feel better today, and i’m ready to talk. i think that would be good for both of us.” 

jungkook agrees, and you pucker your lips. “one more. i’m greedy today. missed you so much, and i love you.” 

you eat the—delicious, please be proud of yourself, baby—muffins in bed before laying side by side. jungkook kisses you softly, encouragingly.  

stories leave your lips slowly, like honey through its bottle’s nozzle: drizzling, creating answers as it thickens, rebuilding scenes in your bedroom, but the stories won’t take you away from this safe haven, and jungkook’s soothing touch is a reminder. you’re in a safe zone, in a soft green, in peace cultivated inside these walls throughout your shared history. 

it’s relieving: your sharing. it’s connective: the answers. it’s powerful: the fresh knowing. it’s all love: his heart swelling and the bittersweet feeling of being here for you now, wishing he could’ve been around sooner, in some capacity, in enough ways to glow something soft and comforting when you felt alone. 

you’re tired after hours of talking pass. you’re vulnerable, despite the trust and ease that soothes this anxiety. he can see it in your eyes, in the way your smile is small when you look at him. 

“thank you.” he expresses. 

“it was overdue. i’m sorry i left so much unknown all this time.” 

your honey's in his eyes. “you don’t need to apologize to me. i love you. you can set down your strength and resilience. you can nurture more space for living.” 

your touch is gentle as it finds his face. he closes his eyes and leans into your hand. jungkook turns his head and kisses your palm. you embrace through the love pouring down like a morning rainstorm leaving the earth rejuvenated, vibrant, seen. 

“i’m going to love you for a long time.” 

#jungkook one shot #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook x female reader #jungkook scenarios #jungkook drabbles #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #jungkook comfort #jeon jungkook angst #jeon jungkook fic #bts fic #bts one shot #bts angst #bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 10 May ‘21

LOUIS NEWS-- label and tour!! First, Louis has announced (or, well, Simon Jones PR has anyway, no word from Louis direct and yes, SJPR is still in the picture) that Louis is “partnering with BMG to release his second album globally”, an interestingly specific/ limited reveal. Fans are eyeing the wording and questioning whether he actually signed with them as a label (which they are) or just for publishing rights or distribution (which they also do, unlike most other labels)- the mention only of a ‘partnership’ supports the possibility that it’s something other than his new label, but it isn’t definitive and the simplest explanation of the press release is that BMG will be his label for LT2, as well as distributor and publishing company. The fact that they are small (relatively speaking; not one of the “Big Four” record labels but they’re hardly tiny) and somewhat new as a label does not to me seem like a reason why Louis wouldn’t have chosen them, as some are suggesting; there’s something to be said for being the big focus of a label rather than just another act, and Louis already chose that route once before when he signed with Arista (who are umbrella-ed by Sony but themselves not one of the big four) just after their relaunch, making him their biggest act by far. Also vague: “global” in this context doesn’t necessarily mean BMG has replaced Arista (his U.S. only label), it just for sure means UK plus the ‘international’ market, ie most of the rest of the world. It could mean U.S. too! Or not. We have reason to believe Louis was still with Arista as recently as a few months ago, and no evidence to suggest otherwise. The official press release says “recording is already underway” on LT2, and quotes Louis as saying: “I’m very excited to start the next part of my journey with BMG”. BMG- a new company founded after splitting from older label SonyBMG in 2008- claim to be “a new kind of music company” who are “not just a music publisher or a label” (they instead combine both of those things) in which “service to artists and writers is key,” and as part of that combine label services with holding publishing rights for their clients, often handled by separate companies and an area where songwriters tend to get screwed. BMG’s press also mentions their involvement with new technology a lot, and they represent Kings of Leon who have been at the forefront of the music industry use of NFTs (including releasing their next album as an NFT on a special NFT label despite being BMG artists). BMG’s twitter following more than doubled [edit: tripled now] in the hours after the announcement, and they followed Louis and tweeted to welcome him aboard from three different twitter accounts, including the U.S. one.

Slightly more commentary from Louis about the updated tour dates though mostly still press release style-- “Let's try this one last time!” he said, “All shows on my world tour will be moving back to 2022 and I’m excited to announce the first wave of new dates. I can't wait to see you all soon, it's going to be special!” and what should be the final dates for tour dropped, all in Spring ‘22- including a London show at Wembley, holy shit! Not every rescheduled date has been announced but those that are mostly have one thing in common-- much bigger venues than they were originally booked into. At at least one show so far fans will have to buy tickets again which sucks, but they are offering a pre-sale for previous ticket holders so at least those buyers only have to fight each other and not all the fans that joined the scrum in the time since the tour sold out. “After all this time and years of waiting this tour is going to be incredible, I can't wait!” said Louis and he’s not wrong!

And that’s all for serious news, over in Harry land things are...a lot sillier. A “bardcore” version of Watermelon Sugar was added to Harry’s official Spotify, LOL, and it is even more ridiculous to listen to than it is to imagine! I don’t picture it topping the charts anytime soon but it’s certainly an entertaining twist I was NOT expecting over the quiet weekend. The idea of Harry and friends deciding that needed to be legitimized on the official 36 million follower page is PRICELESS, and I would love to see Harry in a Gucci doublet and hose (or a nice laced bodice), but sadly it seems that the addition of the 2020 cover song to Harry’s account is a fuck up on Spotify’s end, as acknowledged by the Bard himself (no not Harry or Shakespeare, the person who did the weird cover- they do lots of covers in this style, it’s like a whole Thing. Medieval style covers of hits.) Meantime OUR bard was seen on the My Policeman set in a t-shirt reading “don’t ruin my fantasy”. New merch? I’ve never seen something more perfect for harries, they should consider it! This shirt though is from a designer with a focus on gender neutrality who donates to queer youth charities. And Kid Harpoon said, about WS (modern version) “at first, and I get this quite a lot with his lyrics, I thought, that’s kind of weird. Then you’re like, man, it’s brilliant. I remember thinking that with this. Harry’s so good at lyrics, he’s really growing into his own thing.”

Meanwhile Niall reposted (to insta AND facebook) the same outfit of the day video post he posted and deleted yesterday but left it up this time. It is clearly NOT today’s outift- damn Niall is my whole life a lie?! What can we trust in this treacherous world?? NOT YOU I GUESS. He also popped up on twitter to claim “no idea what you’re talking about” wrt him and Anne Marie teasing their collab without offering any actual clues about WHEN-- mhmm, like I said...

#louis tomlinson #harry styles #niall horan #Arista is a Sony label and Simon Jones is a Simon Cowell associate who was PR for 1D and has been for Louis since he went solo #and who sucks a whole lot. That said I know very well that the reason people are so obsessed with Louis cutting all ties with his old labels #etc #is that they believe all stunts will immediately be canceled on that day and I have to say… I don’t really think so #and arista being somewhat tied to sony isn't actually particularly meaningful #still distance from the old teams is always nice to see and at this point Louis has very few threads left tying him to them #10 may 21 #bmg #bardcore #lttour #louis label #arista #anne marie #it's very early to post but I don't wanna have to rewrite this whole damn thing in an hour lol #even if we get more clarity later there are parts of the NOW discourse I want to address which there won't be space to do if more info #comes to light #I had to do RESEARCH this better get good notes and correct some misinformation going around #besides now I can focus on other things like FUCKING HELL I have to buy tickets for LA Again??? BOOOOOOOO #I ALREDAY DID THIS #AND IT SUCKED #AND i HAD GOOD TICKETS #arrgh #I don't usually do this but you know what? PLEASE REBLOG THIS #I just saw someone say that louis definitely signed a distro only deal and that syco was going to profit off it #i... don't even know where to beg #begin #syco literally no longer exists fro starters...

[queenbeean]

busy morning / chris evans

author’s note: this one is for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork thank you for helping me and giving me the idea💕

warnings: fluff, smut undertones (whoops), bad writing, not edited, i got carried away with this one and i apologise if i went from she/her to you/your

Y/F/B-S means your favorite band or singer

It was a little before 7am when Chris turned around to bury his face against her chest and all he felt were cold sheets. He huffed and instead buried his face against her pillow just to get something of her. Already he knew that he wasn’t going to be seeing or touching much of her that day. He tried making her scent lull him back to sleep but he knew it was futile. He needed to feel her skin against his, to feel her heartbeat match his, to hear her breathing and occasional snoring.

No matter how good he had slept, he was restless now. She was his addiction and he didn’t know what to do with himself. It wasn’t because he needed her to be attached to his hip all the time. He respected her life and independence and would never take anything like that away from her.

He was just feeling selfish that morning. It was Saturday, her day off, and he was expecting to spend the day with her, starting by waking up next to her.

Chris groaned and decided to stop being a crybaby. He had to remind himself that if it was up to her, she would be in his arms. So he got up from the bed, went to brush his teeth, wash his face and finally onto searching his babygirl.

Chris sighed softly at the sight of her. Y/N was busy clicking and typing on her computer at their home office. He thought she had said that she had finished her big presentation and project so she must have been editing for final approval.

His bare feet padded to the corner where they have a turntable and a wooden box full with vinyls. She must’ve been awake for at least an hour. The needle was on the middle, not touching her favorite record but it was still spinning so he knew how into her work she was that she didn’t even realise her music stopped. He searched through the vinyls and picked another one from Y/F/B-S, one that mostly had love songs. Since he wouldn’t be able to hear much of her, at least she would be able to listen to his feelings through both of her favorite songs.

Chris chuckled when Y/N started mouthing the lyrics.

“What the- Oh, I’m sorry, babe, did I wake you?” Y/N had a remorseful expression on her face and Chris sighed. He still couldn’t believe he had the most selfless woman as his girlfriend. Here she was thinking of him when she barely slept the night before.

“Yes and no, doll.” He walked to where she was and helped her up from her chair.

“Chris, I’m sorry but I need to finish this.” She winced at her words. She was choosing work before Chris when she promised herself she would never get to that point. Good thing she didn’t promise that to Chris or she knew he would give her an earful for even thinking that she didn’t give him his place when she always has.

Chris didn’t say anything. He just sat on the chair and brought her back down to his lap. “Just give me ten minutes with you and I’ll leave. You continue working, I just need to have you in my arms.” He murmured against her naked shoulder as his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, so close to him that she could feel his steady heartbeat.

“I’m sorry for waking you up.” She whispered in his ear.

Y/N could feel the hairs of his beard rubbing against her skin as he spoke. “Don’t be sorry, princess. You are in my arms now.” He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent from her neck.

She couldn’t help but shiver, her skin breaking into goosebumps. “I love you.” He responded by kissing her neck.

Y/N willed herself to get back to work. If she was lucky, she would finish it way before dinner, giving her enough time to make it up to Chris. She worked for around twenty minutes when she felt Chris’ grip on her waist loosen. She didn’t think too much of it for another ten minutes. But then she heard soft snores coming from him and she felt so incredibly bad. He should be in bed, resting. Not on her chair, with the possibility of his neck getting sore.

“Chris, babe?” She called softly as she intertwined their fingers. “Love?”

Her man awoke abruptly. “Shit, sorry. I’m distracting you and not helping you.”

“Chris, you are always distracting.” She giggled at his smirk. “But that’s not it. You are going to get sore muscles by sitting here. You should get back to bed.” She suggested.

“I can’t sleep without you.” He admitted. “I’ll get a start on breakfast. I was thinking cinnamon rolls?” Her stomach roared, making Chris laugh. “Cinnamon rolls it is. I’ll try to make them fast so my baby doesn’t die of hunger.” Chris teased.

“Thank you, baby.”

Chris kissed her for a few seconds before untangling himself from her, something he didn’t want to do at all. With one final kiss on the top of her head, he left her to work and prayed she didn’t overdo it.

First thing he did was set up the coffee machine. He had been so comfortable with Y/N on his lap that his body completely relaxed. Then he took out all ingredients he needed and got them in the oven around half an hour later. He was in the middle of preparing breakfast for Dodger when the pup walked in the kitchen. Dodger let out a big yawn and nuzzled his head on Chris’ leg before asking to be let out to the bathroom.

“Bubba, breakfast.” He called out to his pup and then an idea struck on his head. He was out on the patio as his head ran free with thoughts of what he could do for her and he knew it was the time.

Dodger ran inside and started eating eagerly. Chris took out the rolls and felt pride at the golden state of the sweet treats Y/N loves. He put two on a plate and filled her cup with the still warm coffee and added a bit of sugar and a bit of milk, just the way she likes it. After putting the plate and the cup on a tray, he took a sticky note and a pen and started scribbling.

‘Enjoy your breakfast, beautiful.

I want to remind you that you are amazing and you are going to kick ass on your project and everything you put your mind into.

I love you always

With all the love in the world, your dork and your bubba, Chris and Dodger x´

Before taking it to her, he went outside, hoping one of the flowers both of them have planted might have fallen. He knew she didn’t like to cut flowers. She liked seeing them grow and look beautiful in their natural state. God, how he loves that girl!

Luckily, there were two daisies laying next to the bushes. He took the pair and put them in a glass with a bit of water. He took the tray and walked to the office, followed by his shadow. As he got closer, he heard her voice on a conference.

“We got to be quiet, bubba.” He whispered to the pup. He peeked inside and frowned when he saw that it was a video conference. He had wanted to kiss her again, maybe even make out a little bit if she wanted to let out some steam. He instantly regretted the idea. He would only want more of her and he couldn’t be selfish with her.

Dodger stopped caring about his dad’s words and went to her side, nuzzling his snout on her thigh. Y/N immediately rubbed his fur, the place only she can rub as she continued talking. Chris made sure to be out of shot and put the tray on the far corner of the desk where there were no important papers or electronics. Dodger noticing that there was more food and she always snuck a piece for him, started playfully growling. Y/N didn’t seem to hear or wasn’t worried at least. But Chris still ducked and carefully dragged Dodger away from her.

Y/N felt so bad that she had been busy when Chris had been his usual sweetheart self. She didn’t even get the chance to greet Dodger properly. When she had woken up, the pup had been peacefully snoring away.

It took another ten long, long minutes of conference before it ended and she could start eating. And even then it took her almost an hour to finish the deliciousness Chris had prepared and she couldn’t even savour them properly. When she got a small break, she dashed to the kitchen where she heard noises.

“I know you want to be with momma right now, bubba but she is busy and we don’t want her getting mad at us now, do we?” Chris was sitting on the floor with Dodger sitting in front of him. The sight was adorable.

“You are going to make Dodger fear me if you keep threatening him like this.” Y/N teased and Chris stood up.

“Shit, baby, were we too loud?” Chris was concerned. Last thing he wanted was she getting called out for the noise.

Y/N didn’t answer and instead threw her arms around Chris and kissed him deeply. The man was shocked and stiff for a millisecond before moving his lips against hers, wrapping an arm around her waist while the other hand went to cup the back of her neck.

A rather loud bark made them pull apart from each other and laugh. “Sorry, bubba. You know you are still my number one boy.” Y/N promised him, having a tail wagging as an answer.

“Hey!” Chris lowly growled in her ear. “How come he is number one?”

Y/N glared at the man hugging her. “You want Dodger to sit on your face when you go to sleep for complaining?”

Chris chuckled, the deep sound resonating against her lips. “The only one I want sitting on my-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Christopher. There’s a child present.” Y/N hissed but the man still noticed how she shivered at her words.

“Well the child has cock-blocked me plenty of times, Y/N.” Chris mocked childishly.

“I think somebody else is the child.” Y/N scoffed.

“Baby, I’m all man and you know it.” He whispered huskily in her ear. “By the way, I love how bossy you get when you are working.” He nipped at her earlobe as one hand wandered past the waistband of her pants.

“Christopher.” Y/N warned as she tried prying his hand away.

“That’s the tone.” A pinch on her butt had her yelping.

Y/N stepped away from Chris and rubbed the stinging spot. “I hate you.”

“I love you too.” Chris closed the gap between them again and rubbed where her hand had. “Can I kiss it better?”

“Absolutely no.” She groaned when her phone pinged with an email. “I need to get back to work though.”

“Save those sounds for when we are alone later.” Chris whispered. “By the way, what time do you think you’ll get off work?"

Y/N sighed. "I expect by three or four. I promise I’ll make it up to you."

"Don’t worry about it but if you do, know that I won’t complain.” He winked.

“Is that all you think about?” Y/N asked as she stepped away from him again, readying herself to get back to work.

“You? Naked? Underneath me?”

“Christopher.”

“On top?”

“Christopher.”

“Against the-”

“Christopher!”

“Yes, baby, that’s all you say in my head.”

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #mine

[gunterfan1992]

Interview with Half Shy (the songwriter of “Monster”)

For the last few months, I’ve been collecting information for a second edition of Exploring the Land of Ooo that will also cover the production of Distant Lands. This means that I’ve started to look into the new songs that we have been graced with this year, and this of course includes “Monster,” the beautiful track from the masterpiece that is “Obsidian”. And so I reached out to the song’s writer, Half Shy, who was kind enough to chat with me via email about the songwriting process!

(Photo courtesy of Half Shy)

In many ways, Half Shy is living the creative Adventure Time fan’s dream: She got asked by Adam Muto himself to write a song for “Obsidian” after he heard her music through Bandcamp! (I’ve dabbled in fan music before, and the fact that someone from the show might listen to it just blows my mind.) What an opportunity; I am so excited for her!

Since a second edition of my book won’t be coming out until after all the Distant Lands episodes air, I thought it would be best to share my Half Shy interview now. Read on for the fascinating behind the scenes story of how Half Shy and “Monster” came to be..

GunterFan: What is your origin story? How did you get involved in music, and how did the Half Shy project come to be?

Half Shy: I’ve been making music pretty quietly since I was in high school with a keyboard and guitar. I played one or two shows a year after college when I could find a friend or my brother to get up on stage with me, but I don’t really have that performer gene in me naturally. I get too much in my head and forget what the lyrics are to the song I wrote, or what the next chord is. Total brain freeze. So that whole experience is a bit of a mental drain. It’s something I think I’d like to dig into and figure out, but right now I’m really enjoying the time writing.

Even playing a song for my friends I still get pretty nervous. That’s where the name Half Shy comes from. I’ve always been interested in making things that by their nature draw a bit of a spotlight, but at the same time, I am just really quite nervous about the attention.

I recorded my first songs under my old name Hey V Kay in my bedroom and started putting them up online one at a time. When I got enough I thought about packaging it up into an album, but then got really distracted by learning how to fix up motorcycles and going to automotive tech school. When I eventually got back around to it I named the album Gut Wrenching.

After a few years I realized that I didn’t want the day-in-day-out life of a mechanic, I just wanted to know how to fix cars for myself and to have that knowledge in my back pocket. I got back into making music but grew frustrated at the process of writing and recording songs. I felt like I wasn’t able to capture the ideas I had in my head. Like trying to draw on your computer with a mouse. Doable, but it’s not going to come out like you’d hoped.

So these last couple of years I’ve focused more on learning the technical aspect of it, from the initial ideas and lyrics, to the recording and mixing. During that process I put out Bedroom Visionaries, and while writing I happened upon the name Half Shy in an old Thesaurus which felt instantly right. Learning all of that has been fun, I even went as far as to create my own book to solidify a daily writing routine (lyricworkbook.com). All that has been a bit of a tangent from actually making much music though. I should be getting my books in December from the press so I’m really looking forward to getting back into making more music instead of dealing with printing presses, setting up websites, and sourcing ribbon suppliers.

GF: What is the story behind "Monster"? How did the show get in contact with you?

HS: I keep a log of “Song Starters” with neat things I’ve heard in the world, and I would look through it every now and then and notice just how many came from Adventure Time. Eventually I thought well, I have to make a song about this show that just keeps breaking my heart. It was around the time I was nearly done with the first [Adventure Time-inspired] song “In My Element” that I got an email from Bandcamp saying “someone bought your album (Bedroom Visionaries).”

I get maybe one or two of these a month at most so I love to go in and say hi to the person and say thanks, be curious about who they are, [and] what they’re all about. Turns out it was Adam Muto, the executive producer of the show. (I asked and he has no idea how he happened upon my stuff. He guessed that I must have tagged something #adventuretime and he just happened to see it.) So I sent him an email saying, “Hey wow thanks for checking out my tunes. Also... holy crap you’ve made the best show I have ever seen in my life.” [I] played it real cool like. After finishing up writing my second [Adventure Time-inspired] song “Betty” I couldn’t help but fangirl real hard [and I sent him another message saying], “I’m sorry this is probably awkward, but I really love your show and I wrote these songs about it.” He was incredibly kind and shared them with his Twitter Universe, and a while after that I got a random email from him saying basically, “Hey, I’m working on this thing I can’t talk about, would you be interested?” I was like… well you know I’m pretty busy working at a sign shop so I’m gonna have to pass on this once in a lifetime opportunity (J/K. Obviously I fan-girl squealed and said yes immediately).

We chatted a bit about what the project was going to be and the direction. He mentioned there [would be] two Marceline songs in the special, [and he asked if I] would I be interested in giving the love song a try? Trying real hard to suppress my instant imposter syndrome I was like, “Yea, totally I’d be into giving that a shot!” So I read through the story and loved the idea of the dragon mirrored in Marceline, thinking through how they’ve both built up a protective shell, how she grew tough for a reason, but now she can open up and be vulnerable with PB.

From there I wrote the initial demo with the first two verses mostly intact and we went back and forth a few times editing it down into the final version. I recorded the final parts for the show in my little home studio in Seattle.

GS: When you were writing the song, what emotions, thoughts, or ideas were you channeling? Was there any sort of memory of event that you were trying to artistically "catch" or "recreate" with the lyrics or music?

HS: As far as channeling an emotion, generally I’d say just the experience of existing as a human. It can be so hard to open up and be vulnerable. I can remember that feeling even as a young kid—getting really excited about something and having someone completely trash it or look at you like, “Why are you so interested in that? It’s dumb.” [It causes us to grow] a little more weary to share ourselves because we know that hurt and embarrassment. The pain of being misunderstood is something I think a lot of us can relate to. Then having to decide whether to keep sharing those vulnerable parts of yourself or think, “They’re just not going to get it, I’m going to get hurt, so why bother?” and then stop putting yourself out there. You lose a lot with that thick armor though. You might feel protected, but you’re not feeling a whole lot of anything else other than the weight and chafing of it (I had a whole lot of armor-related metaphors that I didn't end up using.).

I struggle with this in songwriting too. I’m not the bolt-of-lightning type. There are pages and pages of cliches, total garbage, bad jokes, and cheesy lines that I have to get through in order to get to something that I am excited to put out there into the world: “Here I did this thing, I know it’s a little (this or that), but I made it... What do you think?” It’s hard to open yourself up to hearing the other end of that question.

I filled about 5 little pocket notebooks just thinking through the story, ideas, and trying to get this song right. I wanted it to feel familiar and honor the past songs of the show ([e.g.,] using the ukulele and referencing a few of the familiar chords from “I’m Just Your Problem”) but also be pretty open and vulnerable and different for [Marceline]. [I wanted to] show that she’s going through some tough emotions but also figuring herself out and growing.

GF: I feel like “Monster” is, at its core, an ode to the “Bubbline” ship. How do you feel about your song being intimately connected to one of the most famous LGBTQ+ relationships in animation? Do you have any general thoughts on Marcy and PB, Bubbline, etc.?

HS: Oh, I’m a total fan girl of Bubbline. The whole story of how Rebecca Sugar and Muto slowly morphed it into this deeper relationship is just great. As a part of the LGBTQ community myself it really means so much to see the representation of characters like yourself portrayed in an intelligent way. Growing up I was too young to fully understand what was going on but I saw Ellen getting cancelled, and [I] heard people around me saying they’d never watch her show again after she came out. That stuff sinks in as a kid and so to have these characters who are not only intelligent, but funny, complex, and unapologetically strong who also happen to be queer is really great. I love that the story here isn’t about their orientation, but that they’re people struggling with how to be open and vulnerable in a relationship.

It feels like something sci-fi and animated shows do so well—to show that ridiculousness of limiting who a person should and shouldn’t love. Marceline is a 1000+ year old half-demon/vampire and PB was born from the Mothergum of an apocalyptic radioactive world, but you’re going to get hung up on them loving each other? It sort of brings it into perspective in a really interesting way.

GF: Do you have any other thoughts about the experience that you'd like to share?

HS: Just how lucky, thankful, and honored I feel to be a part of my favorite show, writing a song for one of my favorite characters. It’s also incredibly cool how the people on the show are so willing to connect and collaborate with their fandom. Everyone [on the production crew] was very open and a real joy to work with.

I’d like to give a huge “Thank you!” to Half Shy for agreeing to participate in this interview; she really was quite amiable! If you’d like to hear more of her music, check out her website and her Bandcamp. You can also follow her on Instragram here and on Twitter here. And of course, here is Half Shy’s awesome video of “Monster”.

#adventure time #atimers #adventure time distant lands #atdl #half shy #monster #bubbline #marceline #marceline the vampire queen #bubblegum #princess bubblegum #pb #adam muto #interview

[waitimcomingtoo]

Hi I’m back!💗 I was wondering (if it’s not too big of a hassle) if you could do a Plank All Over Me but they do a relationship test. Like the one Meghan Trainor and her husband did for buzzfeed? Love you tons!-✨

Plank All Over Me - Couples Tag Edition

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

AN: you do NOT have to have read the others to understand this. Enjoy :)

Masterlist

Plank All Over Me 1 & Yoga Edition

“Hi, I’m Tom Holland.” Tom smiled widely at the camera.

“And I’m actually excited to be in this video.” You nodded in approval now that you and Tom were doing a normal video that didn’t require either of you to get into painful positions.

“You never say your name when we do these. You always say something else.” Tom looked at you as he realized the pattern with the intros of the videos you did together. “This is my girlfriend Y/n L/n by the way, everyone. Please pardon her manners.” He cracked a smile. 

“Yeah, but I do it on purpose. Its like my thing for these kinds of videos.” You explained yourself to Tom.

“Oh.” He deadpanned, pretending not to care about your explanation. You laughed at his serious expression.

“I can’t believe this video turned into our breakup.” You said to the camera and he laughed beside you.

“Can we both cry so they have something for the thumbnail?” He suggested to the camera crew.

“Or, better idea, hear me out.” You looked between Tom and the camera. “We start the video.”

“That’s a great idea.” Tom pulled your chair closer to his and slung an arm around you. “I’m Tom, this is Y/n, and we’re doing the Buzzfeed Couples Tag.”

“So first we have to check off what we know about each other.” You said as you scanned the list of questions while Tom kissed the side of your head. “Do you want to just do a back and forth?”

“Sure. I’ll go first.” Tom pulled the completed closer to himself. “When’s my birthday?”

“June 1st 1862.” You answered confidently.

“Perfect.” Tom player along. “Your turn.”

“My age?” You read off the screen.

“Trick question, you’re timeless.” Tom smiled and you gushed. “Just kidding guys, shes 53.” He said to the camera.

“I’m just not but okay.” You muttered.

“What’s my zodiac sign?” Tom read.

“Little bitch?” You asked.

“You got it.” Tom nodded. You laughed and kissed his cheek.

“What’s my favorite movie?” You asked.

“That’s easy. It’s a tie between Spiderman: Homecoming, Spiderman: Far From Home and Spies in Disguise, out this Christmas.” Tom winked at the camera after he listed off his own films.

“You were close.” You pointed at him. “It’s actually a tie between Deadpool, Definitely Maybe, and The Proposal.”

“But…” Tom faltered. “But those are all Ryan Reynolds movie.”

“Yea, but that’s just because I wish he was my boyfriend instead of you.” You said with fake seriousness.

“Oh, okay.” Tom nodded as he went along with your joke. “It’s funny though, I haven’t seen any videos of you planking over Ryan Reynolds so…” ,he clicked his tongue.

“Thats because Ryan and I like to keep those videos private, don’t we baby?” You shot a wink at the camera.

“Okay, okay. That’s enough before I actually get mad.” Tom laughed. “And you have never seen Definitely Maybe.”

“Yes I have.” You defended. “That’s the one where they’re British and the little boy from Nanny McPhee plays the drum.”

“That’s Love Actually, and you gave the worst possible description of it, so congratulations.” Tom commemorated you as you laughed.

“We just got so off topic. Who even asked the last question?” You wondered.

“I’ll go.” He looked at the computer for the next question. “What’s my coffee order?”

“Here we go.” You roll your eyes at the ceiling. “Tom doesn’t drink coffee. He drinks sugar with a few spoonfuls of tea in it.”

“Yes, I do.” Tom confirmed. “And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“There’s gonna be something wrong with that when all your teeth fall out. Do you want to be bald and have no teeth? Is that what you want?” You pretended to heckle him.

“That’s weird, I don’t see that question on the computer.” Tom said as he squinted at the computer, pretending to inspect the quiz.

“That’s because I made it up.” You said.

“That’s because I made it up.” Tom mimicked. Your eyes went wide and he bent over laughing. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean that.”

“The title of this video is gonna be Couples Tag leads to a break up?” You did an over exaggerated shrug. “With pictures!”

“And then “shocking!” in parenthesis.” Tom added on, poking fun at the youtube titles you were so used to seeing.

“Emotional!” You put your hand over your heart.

“Can we keep going?” Tom asked through his laughter.

“Yes, sorry.” You laughed and looked at the computer. Oh now it’s generic questions. Does your significant other have any bad habits?”

“No.” Tom said after thinking for a moment. “I’m perfect.”

“Oh, I know. His bad habit is that when he gets scared, he goes like this,” you pull your arm back and make a fist, “as if he’s about to deck someone.”

“That’s just my flight or fight response, darling. I won’t apologize for it.” Tom quipped.

“But you always choose fight!” You laugh. “Do you know how many times I’ve seen him about to punch a clump of hair?” You said to the camera.

“It looks like a spider! Your hair is all over the damn flat and it looks like a spider.” Tom brought up a common argument you two had.

“Okay, but why are you trying to punch a spider?” You defended.

“That’s an excellent question, my love, that I do not know the answer to.” Tom said with a smile and you double over laughing at the stupid argument. “Can you imagine walking into our home and seeing me about to punch a spider?” He chokes out through his laughter.

“Wait,” you wipe your eyes and try to compose yourself before giggling again, “remember that one time with the wind-“

“Don’t mention the wind chimes!” He cuts you off, which makes you laugh harder. “We swore to never speak of that day.”

“You swore.” You pointed out. “I just kept apologizing to the man.”

“Next question.” Tom said quickly. “When and where did we meet?”

“We met on the set of BBC Radio 1, in the studio when we filmed the Plank All Over Me challenge last year.” You recalled with a fond smile.

“Awww. I remember that.” Tom smiled at the memory and leaned over to kiss you. “Look at us now.”

“I know. You’re bald and I’m cheating on you with Ryan Reynolds.” You said with a dreamy expression.

“What was that?” Tom pretended not to hear you.

“I said where was our first date?” You read the next question.

“Oh, we went to that ice cream shop in Soho and got milkshakes.” Tom remembered the first time you’d gone out together.

“Tom told me he wanted to take me out for a drink but didn’t want me to think he was trying to get me drunk, so he took me out for milkshakes.” You recalled to the camera with a fond smile. “I thought that was so cute when you told me.”

“I’m glad you thought me being a massive nerd was cute.” Tom chuckled and you kissed his cheek repeatedly.

“It worked didn’t it? You got me.” You cooed.

“That’s right. I got you.” He smiled proudly and kissed you again, pulling you close. You rested your head on Toms shoulder for the remainder of the video.

“Where and when was our first kiss?” He asked.

“Our first kiss was in your bedroom after I beat you in a game of Wii tennis.” You said proudly.

“That’s right.” He grinned. “The first of many.”

“Just kidding. We’ve been together ten months and have not kissed since that day.” You deadpanned to the camera.

“We kissed twice in this video alone.” Tom pointed out.

“Sounds false.” You shrugged and felt his shoulders move under your head as he laughed.

“Anyway, Y/n was going crazy over winning and rubbing it in my face and I just grabbed her and kissed her.” Tom reminisced about the moment you had first kissed.

“I still don’t know if he actually wanted to kiss me or he just wanted to shut me up.” You joked.

“I don’t know that either darling.” Tom chuckled.

“Thank God.” You laughed. “Who said ‘I love you’ first?”

“I did, about four weeks in.” Tom nodded as he did the math in his head. “But I knew I loved you long before that.”

“Aw.” You beamed. “I still haven’t said it.” You deadpanned to the camera.

“She’s just kidding.” Tom assured the camera. You shook your head and mouthed “no.” Tom caught your reaction and pretended to tear up.

“I’m kidding.” You giggled and pulled him into a hug. “I love you.”

“Okay.” Tom let out a pretend breath of relief. “I was worried for a minute there.”

“Aw, no.” You bit your tongue between your teeth. “What’s the next question?”

“What’s my shoe size?” He asked.

“Huge. What’s my favorite song lyric?” You continued.

“So we’re gonna ignore that last answer?” Tom looked at the camera in fear. “Okay. You love the lyrics “so why don’t we go somewhere only we know?” and they always make you cry.”

“Do you remember why I love that song?” You asked him. “I told you on our first date.”

“Because it makes you think of Bridge to Terabithia.” He knew the answer immediately.

“Yes.” You smiled warmly at the thought of your favorite childhood movie. “Nothing crushes us.” You quoted.

“I haven’t seen that in so long.” Tom realized. “Can we watch it when we get home?”

“Of course we can. I’m always down to see Josh Hutcherson.” You wiggled your eyebrows. “Ask your next question.”

“Do you think Josh Hutcherson is better than me?” Tom pretended to read the question off the screen.

“Well, he survived the Hunger Games with nothing but baking skills and you died when some dude snapped his fingers, so I think the question answers itself.” You said.

“It wasn’t some dude, it was a titan.” Tom defended. “And Peeta was lying on the floor for half the Games. I actually fought.”

“Look at the material.” You shrugged.

“I can’t stand you. Ask your question.” Tom laughed.

“What did I wear on our first date?” You read. “Who remembers that?” You asked the camera.

“You had on a dark red turtleneck and a little black skirt.” Tom recalled and you looked impressed. “Your hair was half up half down and curled and you had a little black ribbon in it.” He smiled.

“I guess Tom remembers that.” You said with an approving nod.

“How could I forget? You were the prettiest girl in that ice cream shop.” He complimented you.

“I was also the only girl who wasn’t 7.” You pointed out.

“Wait, I think that was our last question.” Tom realized as he tried to scroll down but couldn’t anymore. “I guess that’s it. Thanks for watching our Couples Tag with Buzzfeed.” Tom smiled at the camera.

“Can we go home and watch Bridge to Terabithia now?” You asked as you rubbed his arm.

“Yes, lets go home.” He grinned.

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @sunrise-shawn @foreverxholland @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @autumnlyholland @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @ho-ho-holland @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @m19friend @justcallmehitgirl @iamanerdot @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @celestial-skylines

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #plank all over me #spiderman #iron man #peter parker fluff #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction

[haiyuta]

|| sugarbaby.com || bang chan

Summary: Struggling college student Y/n is on her last year of college as the bills stack she’s in a tough situation. Her roommate recommends her a website for local sugar daddies. That's where she meets Mr. Bang Chan a producer who is just a nice guy that has a lot of money.  

word count: 5.1k || genre: smut, lots of smut, kissing, dry humping, light choking, praise kink, soft dom chan, like soft, like he’s a caring daddy btw, light barely their daddy kink. 

a/ n: the end plot is so sloppyyyy but I put lots of plot and love and smut this could be better but its 5k of hard work so enjoy yall~

Chewing on your lip you eyed the website your finger hovering on and off the signup button.

Sugarbabys.com the website read on the front page in a quote read "where sugar babies meet high-quality Sugar daddies".

Taking your finger away you gave it a thought all the scenarios going through your head. What if it didn't go well? What if the men were creepy? Your friend already gave you tips 'meet in a public place' 'only if you want to you have to' things like that.

Your bank account was desperate though. Between school and working, you were left with little money. Lingering in the back of your brain you knew you couldn't the reality of having to borrow more money from your friend making you cringe.

Were you desperate enough for money to even sign up for this site? It was something you considered before knowing a few girls who used the website your roommate included for a while until she got what she wanted her debt paid off.

'Its easy just sign up it couldn't hurt' she explained to you. You grimaced it could hurt the many thoughts popped up in your head bad and good.

Your finger hovered over the signup button with great reluctance decided to sign up. Entering your email and information you looked at the rules. It was simple enough the men contacted you based on profiles near them. They recommend you do a date in public for safety reasons etc.

Some of the profile content was questions like the financial level you needed and what you could provide and some small information about yourself.

Your fingertips hovered over the keys writing some info about yourself.

"Hello I'm a graduating student soon with ambitions to join the workforce soon financial help would be the main  and I am very open with new options and experiences"

Finishing off with some fun facts age and a pretty picture your friend took of you. etc you clicked the finished profile you sat back looking at the website shaking your head you closed your laptop work was going to be early tomorrow.

You didn't check the website but a lingering message sat in your inbox.

As the week went on it a few messages popped in your inbox with a variety of guys some seeking immediate sex for money, some promising you the world but then there was one message.

Bang: Hello I'm sure you got many messages you're very pretty I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me. I'll pay of course and see if we are matchable. If not just ignore this.

The message made you quirk your eyebrow it felt real and raw in a way the others didn't. And with no picture, you decided to go and message 'Bang' back.

You: Thanks for messaging me I would love to just send your phone number and I'll talk to you more.

Nerves in your stomach grew as you waited for his message. A night went by until his reply.

Bang: Thanks so much here's my number can't wait to talk to you more :)

You've been texting back and forth with Chan for a week till he scheduled a date setting a date that was good for both of you.

You were nervous your stomach turned with butterflies, the restaurant you were in was a fancy Italian restaurant downtown it had deep mood lighting with a clean crisp look to it.

"May I help you," the hostess gave a kind smile.

Shifting in your tight black dress your own but the gold necklace with a nice handbag were thanks to your roommate.  "Um yes," you said nervously "I have a dinner date with Mr. Bang," you said.

Looking at the list she nodded "oh yes he's waiting for you," she said leading you to the back.

Walking through the restaurant your stomach twisted leading towards the table. Questions ran through your mind. Why were you even doing this? It was to late to back down now you thought.

"Here you go," she gestured to the table. Laying your eyes on him you were slightly taken aback at his appearance. He was handsome.

Looking up from his phone a handsome smile lit his face. Slipping the device into his pocket he got up quickly.

"Let me," he gave a sheepish laugh moving toward you. The smell of his cologne filled your senses it was nice really nice.

"Thank you," you said sitting putting your loaned clutch on the table. Drinking in his features you noted he had sandy blond hair, deep dimples, and perhaps an accent. Dressed simply in a black button-up and black jeans expensive chan sat handsomely on his neck.

An awkward silence filled the table until he chuckled "I'm sorry I didn't even introduce myself I use Mr. Bang on my profile but you can call me Chan," he said. Yup, definitely an accent you noted.

His friendly smile radiated causing you to let a small smile "I'm Y/n thank you for taking me out". More like thanks for messaging me and taking me to a restaurant normally college boys would take you out to the best they could do. A local taco joint close to the university which was amazing but you did yearn for something romantic.

"You were beautiful I had to," he flirted with a charming smile. Stomach knotting at the word beautiful and how his foreign accent whispered them out.

"Thank you," you beamed shifting in your seat. The more you talked to him the more comfortable you became with him.

"So, you work in the music industry," you asked wanting to get to know him. Quickly thinking of his profile on the website. Young, producer and money to spend. The website though matched you and you couldn't directly message them until they choose you. Chan would be snatched up quickly if any sugar baby could choose.

"I do I'm a producer I also sing and rap a bit," he explained, "its something I like to do a lot" he added.

"That sounds like a lot of fun," you giggled poking at your food already full from the soup and salad but wanting more.

"It's long hours of editing and writing music," he perked up his eyebrow you noted he had a small cut in his eyebrow. "Hearing my music be sung by artist and people loving my lyrics is all worth it."

"But it's my passion but sadly my passion is mostly inside so it's hard to meet people," he explained eyeing you.

"May I ask why a guy like you would be on a sugar baby website," you said hoping you weren't overstepping your boundary. "I mean not that you can't be on these sites," you quickly blurted out feeling warm at the question you asked.

He laughed a little "I'm not a 40-year-old businessman with a wife and kids," he smirked out.

"Kind of," you trailed off staring at him.

"Well some of my friends were doing it recently saying they met some great people," he said "I also like showering my girl with money might as well see if this will work." he finished.

"Ah okay," you hummed eating some food.

"I'm just a nice guy who has a lot of money," he grinned his cheeky dimple popping out.

You snorted at the comment "wow," you laughed a little.

"Sorry was that cringy," he gave a sheepish smile.

You nodded covering your mouth trying not to laugh out loud.

"Anyway what about you," he asked.

You explained a bit about yourself adding what he needed to know you were almost out of college the struggle to finish was getting harder. He understood explaining he came to Korea from Australia looking for a fresh start. He found his talent when he sold one of his songs for the first time. You were shocked that it was called "Why so lonely" a classic a song that use to be on your freshman playlist every day.

The experience was new but something you would soon treasure a good conversation a lovely meal and getting money for it.

"Did you like the meal," he asked eyeing you placing his black card in his wallet writing down a quick tip.

"It was amazing," you gave a gentle smile. A little bummed this dinner had to end. Also anticipating if he wanted to continue this.

"May I drive you home," he asked giving you his arm. You smiled nodding slipping your arm through his arm.

The small private parking lot on the side as you browsed the expensive cars till you landed on his BMW with admiration a beautiful car that fit his aesthetic. Playful yet luxurious. Sliding into his car you shivered at the cold leather seats.

"Where do you live," he asked.

"Student apartments right next to the university," you explained "just that general area," you said hitting yourself of how dumb you sounded.

The car ride had light chatting he played some music from he wrote. You were shocked to find out it had some of your favorite artists under it. Learning he did some music for a trio group named 3racha.

Coming up to your apartment you sighed glancing at him "thank you so much," you paused letting out a soft "sir" at the end of it.

A moment passed over the both of you until Chan let out a laugh "Sir," a deep cute laugh.

A blush went to your cheeks at his laugh"You're cute enough you don't have to try okay," he assured his you pressing his hand to your cheek gently.

Your face was warm but his hand felt warmer. "Sorry about that," you said softly cringing at yourself. How natural this felt was amazing.

"May I kiss you," he whispered out his lips so close.

Your eyes connected to his light brown eyes your lips wanting to touch his "please."

It was a swift moment as his lips capturing your own. It was soft as he greedily consumed your kiss you were shocked at how good it was to be kissed.

Pulling gently apart your eyes flickered to his noting his eyes were so warm and deep you could drown in them.

"Um thank you for everything," you said feeling warm and frazzled at him. Opening the car door you could feel your heartbeat a little faster and your mind swirl with want.

"Your welcome baby girl," he winked watching you with as you trailed yourself up the steps and into the apartment building.

Its been a few months since your first date with Chan. Honestly, it felt too good to be true. Soon as got home he texted you some information and the next thing that morning a pretty number with 4 digits now sit in your account.

It took all your will not to scream in a pillow at the money. That's what you make in a month for a date.

As the relationship continued Chan was giving you money for your attention dates, kissing, sex all of the above. Honestly, he could pay you nothing and you would still jump at the opportunity to sleep with him. You shuttered a little thinking of the sex simply put it was amazing.

Some basic rules were gently inforced. 1. You or have the right to end it at any time 2. Stressed the fact that this was an exclusive relationship. Light rules but Chan was very laidback.

Currently, you were in a store way too expensive well use to be way too expensive picking out a dress that would look good for this event with Chan. "This one," you hummed walking out in a cream-colored dress. It hugged your ass but the color was sort of off-putting.

Chan sitting on the seat in the private dress area leaning back his hair messy and untamed with a touch of curls. Your fingers always itched to touch those curly locks.

"I don't love it," he hummed eyeing you up and down. "Just the color it looks amazing on you though," he grinned. Sitting next to a pile of dresses that you both didn't like very much.

You frown this was the fifth dress you've tried but to be honest you didn't love it that much either.

"Okay I have a few more," you bit your lip as you went back to the dressing room. The event was tomorrow night performance of some underground rappers and Chan said he might perform with 3racha if he had time. Being on his arm for this event was important.

You shyly claiming you didn't have many dresses for something like that.

Sipping into the dress that caught your eye the most a deep rose gold dress with just a touch of sparkle. Eyeing yourself you smiled at how the dress fit you the price tag with the glaring 1k on the tag.

Slipping out the dressing room your gazed landed on Chan his eyes ran up and down your body. "Wow," he whispered out getting up to inspect the dress. "Do you like it," he asked placing his hand on your hip.

"I love it," you paused eyeing you and Chan in the mirror admiring how you looked and how he looked next to you. His eyes glazed with lust. "It's pricy though," you hummed looking at the price.

Chan leaned over kissing your temple "you know I'll buy it for you," he grinned pushing his hips closer to you.

"You spoil me," you hummed posing lightly in the mirror. It complimented your skin the way it fell made you feel utterly amazing.

"You look beautiful," he said pressing his body against yours. His chin resting atop your head as he stared at your dress in the mirror. You giggled at the reflection. He looked at you with an admiring lust-filled look. You perked up when you felt his bulge pressing against your ass.

Glancing at him through the mirror his deep brown eyes basically told you what he wanted. You've had sex with Chan before and to say the least you would fuck this man for free. You were just lucky enough he was paying your tuition with a sweet payday every other Friday.

You pushed your ass into him feeling his eagerness waiting for you. "We shouldn't," you hummed glancing at him. Leaning over he hummed his lips connecting with your neck. You sighed at the kisses leaning away for more access.

"We just need to be quiet," he whispered in your ear. Grabbing your hand he lead you to the small bench settling you on his lap.

His lips captured yours hungrily your mouths moved in a gentle rhythm. Pulling away Chan looked at you grabbing your exposed thigh placing you across his jeans. "Come on baby we don't want to wrinkle this beautiful dress up," he said pushing the dress up.

A small mew slipped out of you at the feeling of Chan lightly bouncing his leg. Wrapping your arms around his neck to steady yourself you moaned as he added more pressure to your clothed slit.

Your body was heating up at the feeling "come on baby girl," Chan whispered in your ear. Biting your lip you squeezed your eyes closed feeling your stomach twisting at the sensation. God, he got you off so good your mind raced with want.

Clenching your thighs around his you gave a soft moan as you rocked against his leg. The lewd act of humping his leg made your stomach twist with want.

Chan let out a light chuckle you gave him a small embarrassed glare at your current position. "Don't pout you look adorable," he gave a small smirk. "We better finish this off before we are found," he grinned as he proceeded to bounce his leg.

You were already damp as it seeped into Chan's black jeans. Pushing your head into his neck you let out small whimpers as you got closer to the edge. Ready to fall any moment but Chan holding you so tight you never wanted to let go. Pushing down on his thigh you gave a deep moan as you desperately humped his leg.

Leaning over you placed your lips moaning in the kiss. Your eyes twisted shut as waves of heat rolled down your body.

Chan pressed his lips hard against you as you sloppy kissed him. You came down from your high it took a moment but you felt Chan hand run up and down your back.

Biting your lip you gazed up at him giving him a light smile "we should get out of here," you hummed pushing your dress back down and getting up,

You lightly grimaced at his leg with had a decent size wet mark on them. "Fuck sorry," you said also eyeing his bulge.

He hummed grabbing your hand "don't worry about it lets just buy the dress and go back to my place," giving you a wink.

Your stomach stirred thinking of going to his house with him laying in his bed as he pushed your deep into his sheets "Let's," you grinned eagerly.

"How does it look," you asked your roommate coming from your room in the dress you bought last week. It took a dry clean to get the smell of sex from the dress but it still looked clean and new.

Her gaze went from her phone taking a double-take at your dress. "Look at you in that dress," she hummed. Smiling you gave a small twirl the gold shimmering.

"I know I love it so much," you hummed going to the mirror to check your makeup and hair.

"So Y/n how's Chan," she said leaning on the couch her eyebrow raised at you.

"He's good he's taking me to a club tonight," you said.

She nodded "so you don't have feelings for him or anything right," she hummed out looking at you.

Pausing you stared at your eye makeup looking at her through the mirror image you felt your heart leap "of course not he pays me," you told her.

"Yeah I mean your college semester is almost over when will you break it off," she asked. You paused wondering if you would. You did get mostly what you wanted. Clothing, money, your schooling has been paid up to last semester. The thought of breaking it with Chan made your stomach drop.

Before you could answer you heard your phone ring. Grinning you picked it up avoiding your roommates grilling question.

"Hey baby are you ready," Chan spoke.

Glancing at your makeup and outfit you looked good. Shyly remembering what you did in this dress earlier that week. "Yeah I'm good," you hummed out.

"Great I'm downstairs," he said.

"Okay bye," you said clicking off the phone.

Your roommate was still looking at you "you're like into into him," she commented.

"I'm into his money," you easily lied to yourself. The money was great the clothing, the tuition all was amazing. But Chan as a person he was the best of all the gifts. Repressing these growing thoughts was the best you could do.

"Sure you are," she said pulling out up her Netflix. "Just let me know when you move into with him so I can find a new roommate," she teased.

Rolling your eyes you stuck out your tongue  "will do but won't happen," you said leaving.

"Have a nice night," she called out.

"Thanks," you yelled back leaving. Your stomach turned excited to see Chan. Hurrying downstairs you quickly came outside to see Chan leaning on the side of his car. You eyed him loving his outfit.

"Hey," you grinned going to him wrapping your arms around his neck. Your eyes held his from the told of his dirty blond hair to the way he had a smile chain around his neck and his signature black style.

"Aw you missed me," he grinned a small dimple popping out.

"Always," you flirted back.

Giving you a quick peck he opened the door for you. The drive to the small club was nice his hand firmly on your thigh as he navigated the roads driving up to the club.

"You'll meet some of my friends just fellow producers," he explained. The word date stuck to your brain well you were his date. The words girlfriend would be amazing to hear out his mouth.

"Do your friends have any sugar babies," you asked out the blue. Remembering he told you months ago some of his friends use the site.

He pursed his lips "some do some have two or more," he explained closing the door on the side parking.

Taking his arm nerves bubbled up in your stomach as you entered the low lit club. It was loud with live music on the stage was a male he had dark black hair with deep black makeup and he was rapping.

"That's Jisung he's a close friend and producer," Chan said leading you toward the back. The club was lowkey as people enjoyed the fast rapper on the stage.

"He's really good," you called out to Chan.

He nodded "yeah we are underground rappers are normally producers but we like to stay out of the limelight," he added. "I'll be on stage in a bit hope you'll cheer for me," he grinned.

"Always," you grinned. Sipping on the drink you were introduced to lots of people Felix an upcoming solo artist in the company.

"Time to get on stage baby girl," Chan hummed giving you a light kiss on your lips. His eyes lingered on you for a moment "After my set will get outta here," he said.

"Sounds good," you replied.

Felix stayed next to you as you two chatted while Chan was in the back. "Yeah, Chan told me a lot about you."

You nodded "can I ask about," you asked curiously.

Felix nodded his head "just you're really good for him is what I'm going to say," he explained.

Before you knew it the lights went down once again as Chan got on stage with Jisung and another male "who's that," you asked Felix.

"That's Changbin he is just an underground rapper Chan likes to promote with they call themselves 3racha," he explained.

You watched Chan on stage it was like he was a natural. His smile lit the stage his outfit clean making him look fashionable and handsome. That messy hair was darkening.

Your heart speeds up as you watched his performance him bouncing on stage, the way he hyped up the crowd and his fellow rappers.

Chan never really talked about the performing aspect of this. You were transfixed on the performance the lyrics, his movements it was all amazing. Then cheers filled your ears Chan had a small layer of sweat on his forehead "thank you for coming everyone we have so many new acts tonight please keep a lookout for them," he yelled in the mic.

"They were amazing," you said excitedly.

"Yeah, I love watching them perform," Felix agreed. "It doesn't happen often but when it does it's always great," he praised his friends.

Soon after Chan came back to the table with Jisung and Changbin behind him. A layer of sweat on all of them. "Guys I want you to meet Y/n," he said. "My girlfriend," he said glancing at you for a second.

Your eyes widen at the work girlfriend but decided to act cool "um Hi guys I love your music Chan's showed me some samples," you said.

"Ah thank you so much welcome to our little circle Chan's been meaning to introduce us to you," Jisung said giving a wide smile.

"Has he well my boyfriend is so mean not introducing me to his friends sooner," you side-eyed Chan. You felt Chan wrap his arm around your waist.

"Well we should all get together for some food soon," Felix added.

"That would be great," Chan said slipping his arm around your waist. "Sorry to be rude me and Y/n have to dip," Chan said. Giving his friends a few fist bumps he pulled you out the dark club soon after.

The cool night hit you giving you some much-needed space to breathe. "So Chan girlfriend," you quirked an eyebrow stepping away from his. Your insides turned at the word.

"I'm sorry that just slipped out," he spoke quickly apologizing, a red from the tips of his ears to his cheeks maybe from performing but it made him look different. Vulnerable to you like a confession. "I meant it I'll admit it," he added.

There was a pause as you looked at him and he looked at you. Before you knew it your lips were on his. His plush lips felt so good your heart beating rapidly at his confession and you think you got your answer across. He wrapped his arms around your waist pressing deeply into the kiss.

Pulling apart you gazed up at him he had a handsome smirk on his face. "your place," you bite your lip.

He hummed "I gotta hear it one time," he raised an eyebrow.

"Can my handsome boyfriend take me to his place," you admitted your arms thrown around his neck.

Grabbing his keys he and you hurried to his car. You praised his performance as you rode to his place. His hand now firmly placed entwined in your hand.

Stumbling into his condo you and his lips were attached to one another. Closing the door behind him you giggled as his hand slide through your once neatly curled hair now messy from the night.

Grabbing your hand you lead him to his bedroom it had deep blacks and grey al round. Your lips met in a messy haze of lust.

"Fuck you do things to me," Chan whispered pulling his lips away from you. His fluffy hair was now matted to his forehead attractively from his performance those brown eyes of his blazing with want.  

Sitting on his bed eyeing you from the high ground. "Look what you've done," he chuckled out touching himself. Your fingers itched to unzip him and help him.

"Can I," you asked reaching for his zipper.

"Ask properly," he leaned his hands behind him his hooded eyes stared you down.

"Please daddy," you whined out  On your knees, you unbuttoned his pants revealing Calvin Klein's you loved so much. When you got a peek of those they really set you off.

Slowly touching the hard outline you licked your lips in concentration as you teased him from the base circling around the tip feeling he was wet.

"Fucking hell Y/n," his hips involuntary jerked up to your touch. Your fingers raised under his black tee feeling his solid abs under your fingers tips.

"I love your body," you hummed feeling his stomach circling little shapes right above his waistline.

"Yeah," he stared down at you with hunger loving the praise that you gave him. Something you learned early about Chan is praise could get you a long way. Your nails dragged down his abs loving the feeling of them under your fingertips.

Pulling him out you admired his length. You gave his slick head a small kiss as you gently bobbed.

Chan lifted his hips letting you slip more into his mouth. "Fuck," he moaned as he started to hit the back of your throat.

"Relax your throat Y/n," he said gently brushing your hair. Chan gently rolled his hips deeper in as you relaxed your throat. You lightly choked on it pulling off quickly. You blushed realizing even with the training you couldn't take him very far.

"Sorry," you flushed embarrassed you couldn't even deep throat him.

Pulling you onto the bed Chan's eyes were gentle and lustful. He lightly patted your head lovely "you got better," he hummed. Grabbing your wrist he gently took it placing gentle kisses across your wrist. He stared at you with a smoldering look of want.

Leaning down his mouth attacked your neck you felt so close to him you could hear his heart race just like yours. His dick hard against your thigh so close to your entrance.

"Chan I need you," you moaned in his ear as he left wet kisses across his neck.

Pushing your dress up his fingers went to your panties taking them off "where do you need me," he groaned. His finger went across your slit petting you lightly.

"Right there," you moaned body heating up from the petting. He pulled your hips so close to him "please chan," you hummed desperate him to fill you.

He gave a cheeky smile "no need to beg," his Australian accent deep and thick. He grabbed your leg hiking you up. Hooking your leg around his hip as he entered you. The feeling of him stretching you making you wince as you took him between your folds.

"Ah fuck," he cursed out his face twisting into pleasure. His nose scrunched up in pleasure as his hips rocked into you.

Pushing your head into the pillow you let out mews of pleasure as he gave gentle thrust. The closeness of him in you made your head twirl. "Harder," you panted feeling him almost hitting that sweet spot.  

You felt his hips pace start to pick up as he went deeper. "Ah," you moaned out feeling the tingle of an oncoming orgasm come. You pushed the feeling down trying to savor the feeling of the pleasure.

Looking up at Chan his mouth slightly slacked as he focused on his thrusts fuck he was handsome you thought. A vulnerable look of want and pleasure twisted on his face.

He looked down at you a small smile lit on his lips "you look hot on your back for me." His words made your stomach twist with want and love.

"May I," he hummed his fingers wrapping around your neck. Your stomach tingled with want something about choking made you excited.

"Please," you begged.

Wrapping his hand on the side of your throat made you lick your lip making your head dizzy. Honestly, you didn't know you had a choking kink until Chan introduced you to it.

"Thank you, daddy," you hummed loving the way he pressed lightly on your throat his thumb gently tracing your windpipe. His thrust hit hard as he tightens his hold restricting your breathing.  

"Your welcome baby," he said thrusting into you deeper. Lifting into him you enjoyed the way his body pressed into you.

"I'm close," you moaned out feeling him hit that spot over and over making your eyes roll back.

"Hold your breath baby," he said tightening his hold. His pace got faster as he chased his own orgasm small groans left his lips lovely. "Fuck," he moaned "You feel so good," you moan feeling the sudden warmth of his cum spurt out. The warmth of it pushed you over the edge.

Clutching your leg behind his back black and white spots filled your vision. Chan let out sensual groans as he came down from his high. His hand released your neck as he went to pet your hair. 

Shifting your leg you felt him pull out of you. You bite your lip smiling at the feeling of him pulling you close. 

“Fuck,” he moaned taking off his shirt laying on the silk sheets. You turned to him a grin on his face. 

Wrapping his arm around your midsection he curled up to you. “Chan you smell like sweat,” you whined at the smell. 

“You know you love it,” he grinned as you pushed your face into his curly hair. 

“Mmmhh,” you hummed feeling him pet your head as his fingers up and down your body. 

#kpop smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #bang chan smut #kpop sceanarios #stray kids scenarios

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

Deep Blue Fantasy Part Five

Pairing: Merman!Tamaki Amajiki x fem!reader

Warnings: None (second-hand embarrassment?)

Author's Note:

So this one is the longest one so far. Maybe I could have edited it to be a little shorter, but I struggle to do that kind of thing (also I wanted to get started on the next part) so have this anyway. This one's a little goofy, but just please bear with me. 

I don't know what else to say.

Nnnngggg

-Sugar

✤✤✤✤✤

{Pt. 1}  {Pt. 2}  {Pt. 3}  {Pt. 4}  {Pt. 5}  {Pt. 6}  {Pt. 7}

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡

"Hey. Hey, Tamaki, wake up."

Your voice floated into Tamaki's ears, causing him to awaken from his slumber. Light bled into his eyes as he blearily opened them, your face hovering above his. Cool hands laid expectantly on his shoulders, fresh from having shaken him. Tamaki sat up, attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes. It took him a moment to remember where he was, registering the feeling of air and gravity on his body.

"Come on," you excitedly whispered, stepping back. "I want to show you something."

Tamaki threw his legs over the side of the bed, making sure he had good footing before walking up next to you. He was surprised at how quickly he was learning to walk, each occasion of getting to his feet becoming easier with practice.

You grabbed his hand in yours, making Tamaki's heart jump, and pulled him through the halls and out into the dawn, the sun barely visible on the horizon. The former merman had seen the sunrise before, usually while he waited for you to turn up on your beach, but there was something so incredibly new and different about seeing it here; on land, with you. You stood at his side, your hand clutched in his. Grass poked at the bottoms of his feet, and there was a feeling of overall warmth he simply wasn't used to; his body no longer perpetually encased by the cold sea.

He followed you as you pulled him along, traipsing over a moderately worn path. The familiar sound of crashing waves met his ears as the path began to slope down. Finally, he saw it. The ocean, but this time, from the vantage point of the black-sand beach. You continued to lead him, his toes hitting fine sand. He had never felt dry sand before, and Tamaki was suddenly overcome with the urge to bend down and sink his hands in it. He didn't stop though, letting you take him as far as you dared.

"This is where I found you," you finally said, halting and pointing to a general area on the ground.

Tamaki glanced at where you pointed and then out to sea, his eyes scanning over the familiar rocks that jutted from the violent waves. I found you here too.

"I come out to this beach every morning," you continued. "It's kind of my routine. I like to take little walks over here. There's just something about the sea . . . it relaxes me. Don't you think it's beautiful?"

Tamaki nodded, his eyes dropping to look at your face. There was a soft, lovely expression upon it as you looked out at the water, your gaze following the crest of the waves as white sea foam flew up and out of the nearly black waters. Tamaki suddenly wished your roles could be reversed; maybe take you into the sea, which you so loved, as his mermaid, diving together into the dark depths until the end of time. A part of him wondered what would happen if he put his necklace over your head. Probably nothing, since it was only enchanted to give a merperson human legs, but still.

"I'll admit a little something to you, but you have to promise to keep it secret." Your voice jarred him out of his thoughts.

"Okay," he answered. "You know how good I am at keeping secrets."

He nervously laughed with you at his attempt at a joke, the humor helping to ease a bit of tenseness he wasn't even aware had begun to build up in his shoulders.

"Okay, so, when I come up here," you continued, "sometimes I like to sing into the breeze. You know, just let my voice carry out into the ocean. Crazy right?"

"How is that crazy?" Tamaki asked, his throat bobbing in anticipation. This was what he'd been waiting for, a chance to hear you up close.

You shrugged, your smile a little embarrassed. "I don't know. It's not like there's anyone around to hear."

He had been around to hear, and he'd thought you sounded lovely. "Can I listen to you?"

You blushed, unused to having an established audience for your music. Nevertheless, you began to hum, warming up your vocal cords. Tamaki had heard you sing this particular tune before, and he listened intently as words began to pour from your throat.

Mersong doesn't have lyrics, per se. There was still usually a meaning behind their music, but never anything like Tamaki heard now. You sang of the ocean and the moon, of a foreign yet familiar longing for times long gone.

Your voice was clear, soaring and falling effortlessly within your chest. Tamaki could only listen on in awe as your song began to conclude, a light blush present on your cheeks.

You were so beautiful then. Tamaki couldn't help but notice it. With your signature delicate circlet placed lightly on your head, the sea air lightly tousling your (H/T) hair, your plush lips still parted as you drew out a final, gentle hum . . . . It was almost too much for him.

He suddenly remembered the object he'd tucked into his pocket the night before. Tamaki reached down and pulled it out, keeping his eyes trained on you. Your gaze was currently locked on the ocean, silently watching the waves advance and retreat on the sand. Tamaki's movements however made you turn back to him, about to nervously ask what he'd thought of your spontaneous private concert. Instead, Tamaki was currently slowly placing a sponge on the top of his head, eyes locked on you.

He brought his hands back down, staring as if waiting for your reaction, crimson heavy on his cheeks. You just stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what the heck he was doing.

At your silence, Tamaki finally bit his lip, glancing away. Were you rejecting him? He was probably being too forward. Was this too soon for you? Why weren't you saying anything?

"Tamaki?" you finally questioned.

He reached up, sheepishly taking it off. You wouldn't stop staring at him. What had he done wrong? Another part of the custom suddenly worked its way back into his mind.

As a last resort, Tamaki tossed the sponge at you. The squishy material bounced squarely off your nose, and you jumped back in surprise.

"What the—!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Okay, what was that?" You gently touched your nose with the tips of your fingers. Not because it had hurt you, but more to solidify to yourself what just happened.

"I um, I—I'm sorry!" he said again.

"Where did you even—why would you—?" You were so flustered you could scarcely form a coherent sentence.

Tamaki stopped short. Did you not know what it meant? You looked just as confused as he was, if not more.

"Was my singing that bad?" you asked, half-joking, trying to process what was going on.

"N-no! Your song was so beautiful a-and so was your voice! It's just—oh, I've ruined everything—!" Tamaki hid his face in his hands, wishing he could disappear. Maybe he could jump back in the ocean and you would forget he ever existed.

"So that happened," you said, trying to piece together what he might have been trying to do.

"L-look, just . . . forget I did that." Tamaki decided he'd try a different means to ask you out, and possibly later.

"Alright."

Tamaki peeked out from between his fingers. You bent down and picked up the sponge from the ground.

You narrowed your eyes at it, and then looked back up at Tamaki. "Did you get this from the bathroom?"

"Uhh . . . yes."

"Why are you carrying around one of my sponges?"

"I—I want you to like me." Tamaki shifted his fingers so they covered his eyes again.

"So you threw a sponge at me."

"Yes."

You squinted at him, more perplexed than ever. "Is this just one of your 'I'm not going to tell you who I am' things?"

"Uh, yeah."

You sighed, giving the offending object in your fist a few quick squeezes. "Okay, then. I'll take your word for it."

Tamaki peeked out again. "You're not mad?"

You shook your head, looking back down at the sand. "I just wish I could get to know you." You turned on your heel, making your way back to your home. Tamaki stood there for a moment, letting you put some distance between yourselves before following after you. None of this was working as he had expected, and now he had no idea how to fix it.

I have to tell her. That's what she wants.

He sped up, falling into step with you.

"I'm sorry if I offended you," he said.

"It's fine. What were you trying to say?"

Tamaki took his lip between his teeth again. "Your voice is so pretty . . . . I don't know."

You smiled softly. "Thanks, I guess. I don't normally sing in front of people. Don't normally have sponges thrown at me either . . . . Is that . . . normal where you come from?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. I've never heard of it. I guess we do the same with flowers."

"You do?"

"Yeah." You glanced over and noticed Tamaki still looked troubled. "I'm not mad," you assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think I understand."

Fear shot through Tamaki's eyes. "You do?"

"Well, I'm trying. It would help if you could tell me." You nudged him.

Tamaki sighed. "It's a long story."

You pushed your lips to the side, thinking. "Hmm. How about I show you how to make bread? That's a long process. We can talk while we do that. Sound good?"

Tamaki looked up eagerly. He had been intrigued by your talk of bread and anticipated seeing how it was made, especially if you were involved. "Yeah, that's great."

"It's settled then. I'll learn more about you, and you can learn about bread making!"

You led him back to the chateau, taking him swiftly down to the kitchens. Tamaki noticed that Gabriel was nowhere to be seen, which was a relief to him. He could talk freely around you without having to worry about the man overhearing.

You grabbed two fruits from a basket and handed one to Tamaki. It was spherical and red, and he heard a crunching noise as you bit into yours. He decided to do the same, finding the white flesh on the inside to be quite enjoyably sweet.

You bent below the counter, grabbing a book from a cabinet below. Still taking bites from your apple, you began to flip through the pages, looking for your favorite bread recipe.

Once you had located the page, you began to pull out the ingredients: flour, yeast, salt, and a cup for water. You let the water heat over an open flame encased in stone, waiting a minute before removing it and sprinkling some yeast into the cup. You took a spoon and stirred it gently, finally moving it aside for it to set.

"So," you said, crossing your arms and leaning against the counter. "Mind telling me what the deal is with you?"

"You're going to think I'm crazy—"

"You threw a sponge at me this morning. I already think you're crazy. Besides, we can't do anything until the yeast bubbles, so you have five minutes to get started."

Starting? Where could he even start? And five minutes . . . all he needed was one sentence really. Tamaki tried to recall what he had rehearsed the night before, finally deciding on one path.

"It's true, that I've never been on land," he said.

You squinted at him, eager to hear what he had to say yet quietly wondering how that could be possible.

"You see, I've never left the ocean before. That's because I—I'm not exactly human."

Your eyebrows pulled together, not certain if you should believe him but still intrigued. "So what are you?" you asked.

"I'm a part of a species," he went on, "a sort of mer-people. I've never had legs before, just a tail—"

"You're a merman?!" you asked, incredulous.

Tamaki blinked. "You've heard of us?"

"In legends and stories, yes. But you're not really considered a recognized species. Most people don't even believe they exist; just an old sailors' tale." You paused, beginning to process what he'd told you. "Wait a second. How do I know you're telling the truth?"

Tamaki gulped. "I could show you if you like, but I'd rather not. Growing legs really really hurt. So much so that I kinda passed out. Washed ashore . . . ."

"Oh my gods," you whispered. "But how? How did you just grow legs?"

Tamaki pulled the shell necklace out of his shirt, showing it to you. "This necklace here. I'm borrowing it from a mermaid. All I have to do is wear it and I have legs."

You rested your fingers against your mouth and chin, going back to mulling over what he had just relayed to you. "You know," you muttered, "it makes sense."

"Huh?"

"Everything makes sense now. Normally, I would call you crazy, but I mean, your original story barely even checked out at all. But now this? It makes much more sense. You were naked, you can't walk, you don't barely even know how to take care of yourself . . . ."

Tamaki winced at that. Geez, you could at least try to be more oblique.

He could practically see your mind racing as it looked as though you mentally replayed every interaction you'd had with him the day before. It made him uncomfortable, wanting to do the same just to see how badly he might have embarrassed himself.

"But why?" you asked, turning to look at him again. "Why would you want to leave the ocean?"

Tamaki blushed, knowing now that he wasn't ready to confess his crush on you. "I-I heard you singing, on one of your morning walks to the beach. I'd never seen a human before, and I wanted to get a closer look."

You lent him a small smile. "You could have just swum up to me. You didn't need legs to come and say hi."

"Well, your beach is really rough," Tamaki said, earning a hum from you in agreement. "Besides, we don't even speak the same language."

"But you're talking to me now."

"Yes, but that's the side effect of this necklace. I can understand your language, and you can understand me. But only you can hear me. I think everyone else just kind of hears nonsense when I try to talk to them."

"Why?"

"Because you were the first human to touch me after I put it on."

"That's strangely specific."

Tamaki shrugged helplessly. He didn't make the rules.             (⌐■‿■)

"I guess it explains why you didn't want to talk to Gabriel. And also why Brianne wouldn't get off my back about how creepy you are—"

"She what?"

"Nevermind." You paused to shake your head. "So how do the merpeople talk?" you asked. "What does it sound like?"

Tamaki tapped his fingers together. "It doesn't quite sound like anything, exactly. We use sign language primarily, but we can also sort of make little pinging noises and such."

"Ohh, that makes sense, since voices don't really work underwater." You nodded, catching on to what he was saying. You glanced over to your yeast cup, which had begun to bubble nicely. You added a good scooping pinch of salt to the mix, along with some more water before mixing it together well. "So why didn't you just tell me in the first place?" you asked, placing a bowl on the counter and measuring out a few cups of flour into it.

Tamaki chewed on his lip. "I didn't think you'd accept me."

You frowned to yourself as you added the liquid mixture, beginning to stir it in with the flour. "Well, I guess I would have had a hard time believing you."

Tamaki focused on your mixture in the bowl, watching as it combined into a sticky mass. "Besides, I'm really not supposed to be here," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Being among humans, turning into one; it's kinda illegal."

"Ohh." You started to strain a bit as the dough got more difficult to stir, putting as much arm strength as you could into keeping it moving. "So this kind of thing has happened before? Mermaids turning into people?"

"Um, nothing I've really heard of. Do you want help?"

"I've got it," you said. "The dough is pretty much ready anyway."

"I thought you said it took a long time."

"Oh, no. This is just the first part." You paused for a moment, a thought striking you. "You've never had bread before." It was more of a statement than a question.

Tamaki suddenly felt a bit defensive. "So?"

"There wouldn't be any way to bake it underwater, much less keep it dry." You looked back to him. "This is so cool! It's like you're from a completely different world than me."

"I am," Tamaki admitted. "I've already learned so much from being here."

"I can teach you even more," you said excitedly. "All you have to do is ask."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I get to hear about your home too, right?"

"Sure."

You beamed at him, finally ceasing in your dough mixing. "I'll start with bread baking. Sadly, we can't really get started for another twenty minutes because this has to rise."

As you waited, you began to explain yeast and how it worked. When you finished, you caught his gaze again.

"So the sponge this morning."

Tamaki blushed all over again, hiding his face in his hands. "I have a feeling I should not have done that."

"I just want to know what it meant."

Tamaki was too embarrassed to say. "I—I just really liked your singing."

"Well, thank you. But why were you carrying it around?"

Tamaki frantically tried to think of an answer. "It's, uh, a merman thing."

"Oh."

The two of you started to truly converse, exchanging information about yourselves with each other. When it was time, you split the dough in half and showed Tamaki how to pound his fists into the risen concoction. You watched as he awkwardly attempted to roll it between his hands and the counter, glancing over to you every so often in order to try to copy your technique. Eventually, he started to get the hang of it, pushing and pulling in a similar manner to your own practiced hands.

You noticed that something odd was starting to happen to you every time you looked at Tamaki. This feeling towards him was in no way foreign to you. You'd laid awake last night, unable to think about anything other than him. There was no way for you to deny that you'd begun to take interest in the new boy. You liked how he seemed so genuine, and his sweet, awkward nature had yet to fail to make your heart stutter. And the way he treated you; like you were any other person. There was no over the top groveling, no awkward attempts at trying to impress you. With Tamaki, you scarcely felt like you were bound to duties and a title at all. The secret-keeping had put you off, but now that you knew why . . . .

He was a merman. Wow. Were you really starting to develop a crush on a mythical creature? Granted, you hadn't known he was a mythical creature, and there was no reason for you to think otherwise until now. How would it even work . . . ?

"Uh, (Y/N)?"

Your fist suddenly punched the counter, completely missing the dough you had been absentmindedly aiming for. You hissed as a dull ache spread through the side of your hand, looking at it disappointedly as if it had betrayed you.

"Yeah?" you finally answered Tamaki, turning to look at him.

"Are you . . . alright?"

He was so cute, looking so concerned. The way his eyebrows had lightly pulled together, the way his lips ever so slightly dipped down at the corners and pursed in the middle.

"Y-yeah. Just . . . thinking." you glanced back down to your dough.

"Oh."

"I think we can start getting it ready to bake now," you said, trying to shake the thoughts out of your head.

There was no way Tamaki could be interested in you. Maybe he viewed you as a friend, sure, but you were just a human. A very important human. A princess, whose hand should probably be reserved as an asset for some kind of treaty or land agreement. Falling in love with the first boy who'd walked through your door and paid attention to you was foolish. And yet, a small part of you wondered how much it could truly hurt if you only let yourself have a little crush for a short while . . . .

You helped Tamaki shape his dough into a vague loaf shape, doing the same to yours before sliding them both onto a thin pan and making adjustments where necessary, finally cutting thin slits into the top.

"Now what?" Tamaki asked.

"We bake," you stated simply. You grabbed the pan off the counter and slid it in, making sure the fire below was warm enough before finally shutting the oven door. "And that, Tamaki," you said, "is how you make bread."

"Wow." Tamaki looked around at the now messy kitchen. "So how long does it have to stay in there?"

"Like half an hour. Here, help me clean up before Gabriel comes back to make lunch."

The two of you went back to conversing as you wiped flour off the counter top and rinsed out the bowls you'd used. He was a very interesting person—er, merman. He had a lot to say about the way you lived on land, comparing it to his own home. You couldn't help but listen, completely enraptured by what he had to say. You imagined the sense of wonder you felt hearing about his way of life was the same he felt learning about yours. He and you asked each other questions relentlessly, hoping to gain simple, beautiful understanding.

Not only did he ask about humans in general, he wanted to learn more about you. You explained more of your hobbies and talked about the islands. You didn't live on this one usually; Milrich was merely a temporary living situation more in the benefits of your father. Somertaugue was your true home, the main, larger island where you were born and grew up. Tamaki asked you to describe the island, wanting every detail of the different features land could offer.

"Well," you said, "the islands are all pretty similar composition wise. Now the mainland is where it really gets beautiful." You started explaining forests and deserts, mountains and valleys. Tamaki's eyes grew wide at your descriptions, occasionally interrupting with an attempted parallel to the sea, or merely an astonished 'oh'.

You were so engrossed in your conversation, you nearly forgot about your bread, slowly rising and hardening in the oven beside you. You pulled the loaves out and set them on the counter, tapping the crusts gingerly. "I think they're done. They'll have to cool, but guess what."

"What?"

"You just made bread." You held out your hand for a high five, only realizing at his brief hesitation that he had just learned what it was yesterday. Nevertheless, he slapped his hand against yours. You liked the feeling of his touch, even if it was only brief. You both easily slid back into your conversation, slicing yourselves a piece of bread when it was cooled, enjoying what was arguably the best loaf you'd ever made.

✤✤✤✤✤

Tamaki gazed out the window of the study room, enjoying his view of the sea. You sat quietly at your desk, doing your reading for the day. He had finally admitted to being unable to read your written script, and you had promised to teach him once some of your own work was out of the way.

While he waited, he watched the dark waters of the ocean crash against the beach, foam spraying into the air as waves collided with the familiar black rocks. Tamaki had never realized how entrancing the sea was from the surface, water moving back and forth endlessly against the shore. He'd been staring at it for quite some time, lost in thought when something new caught his eye.

An all too familiar head of blond hair had poked out of the water, an iridescent greenish-blue tail flicking around after it. Tamaki jolted at the sight. Mirio? What was he thinking?

"(Y/N)?" Tamaki called behind his shoulder.

"Mmm?" you answered, barely pulled out of your working zone.

"Can you . . . excuse me for a minute?"

"Sure . . . ." You tapped the end of your pen against your lip, not even glancing up to meet Tamaki's eyes.

He didn't pay attention to this fact, though. He was more concerned with his merman friend splashing around in broad daylight for no apparent reason. What if there was a reason? Tamaki's mind began to race as he hurriedly left your room and made his way down the halls, frantically searching for the door to the outside. Fortunately, he found it within a matter of minutes and slipped out of it, taking to the path you had shown him earlier that morning.

The sound of the ocean filled his ears as he neared the shore. Sure enough, looking out at the water, it wasn't long before his eyes found what he'd seen moments before from the window.

A tail had flashed out of the deeper waters a ways out from the beach, and seconds later, Tamaki saw a head pop out where it had previously been. An arm cheerily surfaced and waved upon spotting the form on shore, clearly missing the panicked expression his friend suddenly sported.

The dark haired man tried to send out a ping, but quickly realized that humans didn't work that way. He tried for a whistle, and that seemed to work. He made it sharp and urgent, borderline annoyed.

Mirio's hand lowered in the water and Tamaki could make out a hint of confusion on his face from afar.

Tamaki mentally cursed the dangerous layout of the beach. He wanted to be able to talk to his best friend in private without being so far apart (the 2020 mood).

He saw Mirio point to Tamaki's right, motioning for him to follow while he dived underwater again. Tamaki began to walk along the shore, trying to move over the land as quickly and safely as he could. He saw Mirio's head pop out of the water every so often to make sure he was following.

After about twenty minutes of clambering over rocks and tramping through long grass, Tamaki found that Mirio had led him to an area of the shore where the sea was a little quieter, and the rocks weren't so concentrated.

Mirio swam as close as he dared, fearing getting stuck too close to shore. Tamaki further closed the distance by cautiously venturing into the water, wincing at how nigh unbearably cold it was.

Waves now slapped against the bottoms of his pants, and Tamaki wondered briefly how far he should dare to venture before they would knock him over. If worse came to worst, he could always take off the necklace again, but the memory of the pain from the day before made him hesitant. He decided to just anchor his feet into the sand as best he could, feeling himself sink into the soft granules below.

Mirio's head bobbed in the water a meter away from Tamaki, finally looking him up and down for the first time.

Look at you! he signed, dipping his face under the water to try to catch a better glimpse of his feet and toes, which by now were covered by a fine layer of wet black sand. Tamaki jumped at the sensation of a hand grabbing at the sensitive skin of his foot, nearly falling backwards into the water as it was yanked towards Mirio's face. He finally popped back up again, looking incredibly impressed. So the necklace really worked, huh?

It sure did. Tamaki was relieved to find that even in this human form, he was still able to communicate with his merman friend.

So, began Mirio, how's it going? Did you meet her yet? Did you confess? Is she all yours?

Tamaki frantically shook his wrists, trying to quell the increasing onslaught of questions spilling from Mirio's hands. I just told her I'm a merman, Tamaki answered. She seemed pretty chill with it.

Awesome! Mirio happily swished his tail around in the water, only causing rougher and larger waves to wash over Tamaki's legs.

Tamaki threw his hands out, trying to stay balanced as salt water splashed up onto his chest.

Sorry, man, the blond said, stilling himself to the best of his ability. What's it like having legs anyway? They're so small. Mirio briefly ducked back down to poke at them.

It's certainly different. Everything up here is so strange to me. Mirio, you can't even imagine all the interesting things I've learned about humans!

Tamaki went on for quite some time, relaying the events of the past two days he'd spent with you. The entire time, Mirio's eyes remained glued to Tamaki's hands, fascinated with what he had to tell. Once he was done, Mirio put his chin in one of his hands, mulling over what Tamaki had said.

Sounds like she's interested, he finally ruled. So you haven't tried anything yet?

Um, well . . . . Tamaki's face reddened and he tapped his fingers together, cringing at what he'd done. I, uh, offered her a sponge this morning.

YOU DID?! Mirio launched himself at Tamaki's legs, wrapping his arms around them in an excited embrace.

He lost his balance, crashing down into the frigid water. It was only now that Tamaki noticed how cold his feet were getting, and now almost the entire lower half of his body was numb. He stood up again, sputtering and trying to wipe water out of his eyes.

Mirio looked up at him, a little surprised at his response. Gee, sorry, man. I guess humans really aren't meant to be in the water at all.

Well, I almost died the moment I became one. Tamaki quickly checked under his shirt to make sure the necklace was still securely around his neck.

Yeah . . . . But you gave her a sponge? Mirio asked, recovering quickly to jump back into the previous topic.

Yes.

How did it go? She had to have liked that!

Erm, well . . . I don't think humans do that.

Aw, what?

Yeah, I might have actually kind of offended her.

Mirio frowned, dumbfounded as to why you wouldn't appreciate Tamaki's sponge offering. But you threw it at her and everything?

I think that that was what she didn't like.

Mirio shook his head. Wild. So what do humans like?

See! I don't know! She mentioned something about flowers. Maybe I could try those?

What are flowers? Mirio squinted at him.

They're like plant thingies. They come in all different types of colors and shapes.

Like shells? Ooh, you should get her shells.

Oh, that's a good idea . . . . Tamaki thought for a moment. I haven't seen any, but it's not like I've been looking. An abrupt shiver racked through Tamaki's body.

You good, man? Mirio asked, suddenly looking a little concerned.

Yeah, just cold. I think I might need to get going anyway, she'll probably be looking for me.

Okay.

And don't splash around in the water! Someone could have seen you. I saw you from up the cliff and I wasn't even looking for you.

Oops, sorry. Mirio edged forward enough to give Tamaki's leg a pat, however, this time it was far more gentle. It sounds like you're doing just fine. I guess I'll leave you to it.

It was nice to see you, Mirio.

No problem. Mirio backed himself up. See you soon! He turned and waved before diving back into the sea, swimming off in the direction of home.

Tamaki shivered again, clutching his arms around his chest. He could see why humans had little interest in going into this water. With the waves assisting him, Tamaki was able to trudge his way to shore quite easily. The sun was starting to set behind him, so he made sure to hurry back to your place as soon as he could.

Tamaki made it back within the next half hour. The guard positioned at the entrance of the chateau recognized him from the day before and let him in. He wandered through the halls, trying to see if he could find either his or your room from memory. Rounding a corner, he suddenly came face to face with you.

"Tamaki!" You jumped, startled, but then surged forward to pull him into a hug. "Where were you?" You pulled away, concern and confusion written all over your face. "And why are you so cold and damp? And you smell like—wait, were you just in the ocean right now?"

"Um, yeah." Tamaki rubbed at the back of his neck. He probably should have told you where he was headed, but the sight of Mirio had caught him so off guard . . . .

"Don't you know how dangerous that is?!" you scolded. "Although I guess you are a merman, that's right. But you were alone! And I didn't know where you got off to—!" You huffed, clearly upset.

Tamaki awkwardly placed a hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry I made you worry."

"Sorry?" you bit back. "You're not a prisoner here or anything, but I'd thought you would at least tell me if you left." It almost looked like a dampness was starting to pool in the corners of your eyes.

"I did," Tamaki stated simply. "My friend was just outside and I had to get him to stop thrashing around in the water in plain sight like that. I didn't mean to be gone so long."

"Your friend?" Your glistening eyes looked back up into his face.

"Yeah. He just wanted to see how I was doing."

"Oh. Was it Mirio?"

Tamaki nodded. He had brought up his best friend while he was talking to you earlier.

You sighed, shoulders finally losing their rigid hold. "I guess I understand. It's just that I looked up and you were gone and I realized it had been a while . . . ."

"You were worried about me?" Tamaki couldn't help but smile a little on the inside.

"Of course I was! I like you, Tamaki. I like talking to you." You swallowed and dropped your gaze to the floor.

Was it just his imagination, or did your face suddenly look a little red?

He shivered a little where he stood, and you noticed. "Come on," you finally said. "Let's at least get you warmed up."

"Okay."

You walked with him side by side all the way back to his room.

"I really am sorry to have worried you," Tamaki said, the thick silence between the both of you making him uncomfortable.

"It's alright. As long as you're okay."

As long as he was okay . . . .

"Still friends?" Tamaki asked.

"Of course."

...

To be continued . . . .

くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡

[Part Six]

Author's Note:

Me: *Casually writes 6k-word chapter about sponges and bread for a fanfic* This is fine (< W >)

Sorry if the whole bread thing got kinda boring, I might have gotten a little bit carried away. Yes, I did look up a bread recipe, and no, I have never legit baked bread before (we have a bread machine, fancy fancy, so that's really nice).

Also, I am NOT crazy about the whole sponge thing. I literally went down a rabbit hole googling how dolphins and sharks "flirt" with each other (RIP my search history) for like an hour and I totally recommend looking it up for yourself, it's actually quite interesting. I'd link the articles but Wattpad doesn't like that so yeah.

Have a nice day/evening/night!

-Sugar

Taglist: 

@inumorph​ @engel-hageshii​ @milkteeboba​ @pansexual-potterhead​ @ure-a-sunflower​ @xeina​ @kingtamakimurder​ @basicaegyo​ @iiminibattlehero​ @pyrofanatic​​ @sokkasangel​ @xoxopam4​

#tamaki #amajiki #tamaki amajiki #mermaki #tamaki x reader #tamaki amajiki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #reader insert #deepbluefantasy #sugar fics

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #332

i’m even more tired than before to try and think up song lyrics, i’m pasting from Word and then fucking off to bed lmao.

What was the last video message you received on your phone? I think it was a clip of Doris (Sara's beardie) eating and just being her perfect self? Was your last birthday cake homemade or store bought? Store-bought. One thing you miss about middle school? Shit, nothing. Middle school was the worst. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people? No. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. Would you ever pierce yourself? No. I am very much about having a professional do your body mods/art. Plus, I have tremors in my hands. Do you live in a safe neighbourhood? Supposedly. We haven't lived here nearly long enough to know. What is the last thing you did that shocked someone? /shrug Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Only always. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yeah. Do you like your license photo? I hate my permit picture. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favorite? Not very, but I like 'em enough. I always say my favorite is Deadpool, but I know he's technically an anti-hero, but whatever. If you don't include him, uhhhh... maybe Spiderman. Have you started watching any new TV shows recently? No. Have you ever been able pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? No. :( At least, not to my recollection. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. There's actually a winter treat 'round here that you make with snow and sugar called snow cream. Good stuff. What is the messiest area in your home? Right now, the spare room/my wanna-be "office." What’s your favorite computer game genre? Still horror, like video games. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? I'm completely financially dependent on them still. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I eat like, stupid fast, but without being messy. People *cough*Mom*cough* will absolutely point it out, but I seriously can't help it. Making a conscious effort to eat slow feels way too weird. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Tell me what's on your mind? I've been considering yet again reaching out to some tattoo parlors and asking if they're open to hiring someone to handle the front desk and take care of business besides actually performing piercing and tattooing, given my tremors. My group therapy has kinda been encouraging me to use the possibility for social exposure, and besides, I'm very comfortable in the environment and just general aura of tat parlors. I'm sure I'd have to answer the phone, handle money, and obviously talk to costumers, but I know and accept that. I've been at such a stagnant point with my social anxiety in particular that I have to start pushing back harder, and doing this I feel would be one of the most relaxed, social job positions I can hopefully handle. I don't dare to even try this though until I get vaccinated to protect my immunocompromised mom. Writing this all out has actually been pretty encouraging about this idea... Do you wish you never dated someone you dated? Yeah, Tyler. It was such a "I'm lonely and he was nice in high school, so we'll try it" situation. I got nothing from it. Are you scared of growing old alone? Pretty badly. What are you listening to right now? I'm listening to/semi-watching John Wolfe play the remaster of Resident Evil 2. What breed was the last dog you saw? He was a German shepherd. Would you ever go swimming during a thunderstorm? No. Any time a thunderstorm was brewing and I was in the pool, I'd always get out. What is the next concert you will attend? Mom and I plan to see Ozzy when/if he reschedules his tour after he had to cancel with his Parkinson's diagnosis. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :/ What's the highest science class you have taken? I don't know, actually. What makes you squeal like a school girl? No shame, seeing Mark and Amy do something cute together actually does this, lmao. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) Do fictional ones count? Because in that case, the Halo of the Sun from the Silent Hill franchise. I'm getting it tattooed somewhere at some point, I'm thinking the left side of my neck. I'm either gonna fashion it in a way where it looks branded on or carved into me. Have you ever been on anti depressants? For all of my pre-teen, teen, and some of my adult life. Apparently, I've only had one truly educated psychiatrist out of no less than a dozen I'd seen, because he fixed me right up. He taught me that those who suffer from bipolarity should avoid anti-depressants; they ramp up your bipolar symptoms. Instead, mood stabilizers are favorable. And what do you know, after I was prescribed a stabilizer and a catalyst for that medication, my depression decreased dramatically and became handleable. Have you ever starved yourself? Kinda. What’s the stupidest name you’ve ever given a pet? I had a guinea pig named Harry Potter. For no particular reason lmao. I'm not even a Harry Potter fan. Do you have nice legs? God no. Do you like fedoras? Okay so I know I am in the strong minority, but I actually do, haha. What is your favorite food group? Carbs. @_@ Have you ever got told that you should be a model? No, but one of the most flattering indirect compliments I've ever gotten was being mistaken for one. Jason's phone wallpaper was one of my favorite pictures of myself with my first snake, and someone asked him if I was a model. ;v;' What song is in a language you don’t speak, but you love it anyway? "Donaukinder" by Rammstein is one of my faves. Who’s a villain you sympathize with and why? SOBS Darkiplier bc his origins are so damn tragic and unfair. What book do you think should be directed as a film? Was The Giver ever made into one? I don't remember that book well, but I do recall it being absolutely beautiful. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? No. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Yeah. I have thousands on the Silent Hill wiki, where I'm one of the admins. I'm also a content moderator at the Team Ico (Shadow of the Colossus devs) one. Every now and again I used to go on the meerkats wiki as well, where I mainly fixed the fucking nightmarish grammar. Very briefly, I edited at the Dragons of Atlantis wiki as well. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? Not very, but of course I still acknowledge the risk and am more conscious of hand washing and stuff. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? Snapchat, I don't actually use my Twitter, I don't have a personal Instagram... There may be more, idk. Is TikTok a "social media platform?" Because I don't have that, either. What was the name of the first porcelien doll you got? Never had one, given I was afraid of dolls as a kid. What’s your favorite Paramore song? "Decode." Would you be happy with a life without romance? To be entirely honest, I'd feel like I was missing something. Was your childhood happy? Mostly. What fundamentally matters do you? Love, kindness, peace, all that gooey stuff. Is true world peace ever possible? As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think so. The human population is far too big to come to a unanimous agreement on anything. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yeah. Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No. I'm getting more into the idea of owning invertebrates (I jabber enough about wanting tarantulas, and there are others, like mantises, I'm interested in as pets), but black widows, I'm not into the idea of having. Too venomous for me to be comfortable risking. If you have a job, what is the longest shift that you've worked? N/A Do you know all of the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody?" FUCK YES I DO. ^ Do you sing it with all of the different voices? sho nuff Do you own more than one copy of a certain book? No. Do you like interpreting poetry or just reading it for fun? Both. I love symbolism, so I get joy out of digging for subtle meanings in poems. Do you have a favorite Dr. Suess book? Yeah, it was always Green Eggs and Ham. Do you watch The Walking Dead? If so, favorite character? Not the show, but I've watched let's plays of the games, haha. In which case Clementine is inarguably one of the best female characters in a video game universe. Who has/had the most mature romantic relationship you’ve seen with your own eyes? Uhhh. I mean I never saw them much, but probably my late grandmother and her last husband. He was fucking incredible to her, and Grammy adored him as well. They helped each other so much and just obviously had the purest love between them. When was the last time you got something for free (legally)? What was it & have you enjoyed it so far? Lmao do balls in Pokemon GO count? Their occasional free boxes are the reason I can play the game because PokeStops are essentially non-existent here, so yes. What is the one fruit you can’t stand to eat? How about vegetable? The first one that came to me were oranges. I enjoy orange juice, but I just caaaaannot with the white veiny shit that you can't totally get off when peeling it. Without that, I might actually enjoy them, but idk. As for vegetable, asparagus is absolutely abhorrent. When’s the last time you actually recited the pledge? If you aren’t American, do/did you have anything similar in your country that you do during a time at school? Probably not since high school. Last person you shared food with? Ummm I have no idea. It's really just Mom and me here and we eat our own stuff. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? I believe it waaas... "Down In The Park" by Marilyn Manson, maybe. If your life was a TV show, what would be the theme song? My inner high school emo just screamed "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Gahdamn, there's a lot. I don't feel like going through a mental list in my head and then describing why. A character (in anything) you wish hadn’t been killed off? Vol'jin; I think the entire WoW fanbase will forever be pissed about it. It was THE most "lul we dunno what 2 do w/ him anymore, let's let a totally random, unnamed, unimportant demon kill him" like what the fuck, Blizz. Most of his "oomph" was in the book, and I just really wish they'd done so much more with him in the game. Has anything “cute” happened in the past week? Off the top of me noggin, no. When did you last say “I love you”? Did you mean it? Yesterday to Sara. OF course I did. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Hi, PTSD, how are ya. Have you ever slept all day? Essentially. When I was on a larger dose of my anxiety med, I physically couldn't stay up for barely even five minutes, and when I'd lie back down, boom, I was OUT. I stayed on that dosage for I think just that one day, it was so bad. Can you have kids? Well, I have a functioning menstrual cycle, so I would assume so. Doesn't mean I will, though. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Only black. Do you like eating sour things? Hell yeah, I love sour stuff, candy in particular. Do you like pickles? fuuuuck yeah Did you ever have a really close friend move away? Yeah, in elementary school. I feel bad I can't remember her name at the moment... What's the most creative thing you've ever done? I mean, I guess the things I've written in RP. What's the most creative thing someone has done for you? For me? I don't really know. Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows? Sure, they're some of my favorites. What’s something you’d like to be better at? Social interaction. Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? Yeah. Do you think you would make a good parent? No. I know I wouldn't. The only time I ever wanted kids was with Jason, and honestly, I really hope I don't end up with a man because I never want to deal with that urge again and make a mistake. I'm just in no way emotionally fit to be a mother. How many best friends do you have? Just one. What do you cry over the most? My PTSD, honestly. I never sob about it anymore, just shed some tears. What language did/do you take in high school? Latin for one semester, then all four available for German. Which sports do you follow? None. Who was the last person you talked about marriage or having kids with? About marriage, Sara. Kids, the subject was lightly touched upon with Girt, though "with" was never a part of it, but obviously implied seeing as we were dating with long-term in mind. Have you ever been in a house fire? No, thankfully. Have you ever made out for one straight hour? them is rookie numbers Are you any good at remembering phone numbers? No. I literally don't even know my own, nor my mother's. I need to fix that. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt. Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? No. If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Save it to go towards Venus' terrarium. Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? Well of course! I'm unashamed to watch any "kids" movie I enjoy, like Disney ones. Most "kids" movies tend to be better than those intended for adults, it seems... Are you afraid of mice? Oh no, I adore mice and I think had a pair as pets before I got rats. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I can't really answer this; I haven't gone on nearly enough vacations to develop a theme. I can say confidently though it'd probably be something small. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? One or two with Sara, yes. I know we at least watched the weeping angels episode. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Warriors by S.E. Hinton. Sometimes I wanna get back into them, but I am YEARS behind and more into Wings of Fire anyway, so. I don't read nearly enough for both. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Literally no trick seems to work for me. I just suffer lmao.

#survey #surveys #questions

[mahalkitajohnnysuh]

Sugar and Fluff (Volume 3)

This is not the usual edition of this series, as this focuses more on the tension between Johnny and Essie before becoming a couple. 

The stories are still sweet and fluffy, but at the same time, it isn’t. Anyway, here’s Johnny rocking the keyboard as a hint on what to expect for today’s post. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: I think I’ve already said what you need to know, but I’d like to move what I usually mention at the Warning header that italics are for thoughts and italic and bold are for lyrics.  Both videos of the song mentioned will be embedded below for your listening pleasure. You can also click the link of the song in the second part if you’re not into the video, but why would you miss one of the cutest MVs of all time? Just kidding, guys. 

POV: 2nd person for both 

Word count: 1,800+ words 

–––

I. Because Johnny playing the piano will always be iconic

There were times you missed playing the piano.

You and Nini used to go home late from school because you took piano lessons. However, you weren’t able to move past the first grade as you eventually found it difficult to play. Reading notes past beyond the staff and figuring out how to play half notes made you lose your interest since it took you time to figure it out on the keys. Nini was able to finish the program and could still play a complicated piece if asked to.

Now that you were living with Johnny and Mark (who was unfortunately abroad again), you were delighted to see that he had a piano at his place. Not only does he have the classical instrument, but he also has an organ in the corner of his bedroom.

One time, you asked him to play after a long day at work. “Play some for me, Johnny,” you asked, tapping the side of the instrument.

He was lounging on the sofa, watching a video on his phone. “Come again, baby?” He said, briefly looking up at you. “Can you play the piano for me?” You sat down beside him and even leaned toward his face to show how much you wanted it.

“Hey, what’s up?” He sat up straight and examined your face. You don’t usually ask him to play the piano unless you were not feeling well or you needed added stimuli for sleep.

“I don’t feel so well,” you whispered, looking away from him. “Why? What happened?” You heard him come closer to you, the fabric of his pants and the sofa cover rustling together.

“I’m not comfortable telling yet,” you responded as he held your hands. “Okay baby, I’ll wait for that,” he squeezed your hands first, “but now I’ve got to fulfill your request.”

He went to the piano and you watched him prepare, wiggling his fingers first before he placed them over ebony and ivory keys.

When you heard the iconic introduction of Alicia Keys’s ‘If I Ain’t Got You’, you stifled a sob.

It brought back memories of your childhood playing the piano – after all, she was the person who inspired you to play.

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all

If it ain't got you baby

If I ain't got you baby

He sang, which made you more emotional. It has been a while since you heard him sing again. You went to his side and sang along with him.

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you, yeah

You looked at each other as you finished the chorus, then gave each other the most genuine smiles you could muster.

It was a beautiful moment that both of you would treasure – you even mentioned it during your wedding speech!

Even though you know you don't have a great singing voice, you did your best to give justice to the song. You believed that you harmonized well with Johnny, who was giving more than his best self to execute the song.

If I ain’t got you with me, baby

So nothing in this whole world don’t mean a thing

If I ain’t got you with me, baby

As the song ended, Johnny looked at you expectantly. “That…was good, right?” He asked carefully and a little out of breath since he used more of his singing voice today.

You nodded, flashing him a grin. “Yeah, that was great. Can’t believe we harmonized so well,” you said, taking a seat beside him on the stool.

He laughed at your comment and looped an arm around your waist. “I hope that made you feel better,” he whispered, his mouth too close to your ears and neck.

Shivers went down your spine with his words, but you didn’t let him make you weak. You leaned forward and whispered back, “Yes, it did. Thank you, Johnny.”

His other arm snaked around you, and now you were enveloped in his embrace. You settled your head on his shoulder, and he did the same.

“You know I’m always here for you, right?” He murmured against your ear, making you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Yes, I know. And I’m so grateful for that.” You had to pull away a bit to look at his face, and he made a kissing face.

You know you wanted to kiss him back, but you know that you shouldn’t. You nuzzled his neck in response, which made him giggle. “Not there!” He whined as he squeezed your sides. You yelped when he pinched too hard and attempted to bite his shoulder.

You were in a playful mood after getting your emotional side out of your system, which Johnny shared as well.

You moved your tickling game at the couch wherein you laughed, cried, kicked, and bit each other. Once both of you were tired, you stared into each other’s eyes while you embraced.

“I missed moments like this,” Johnny started, one of his hands now stroking your hair.

“Same here,” you replied, one of your hands cupping his face.

You two were so close that people thought you were dating. You had to correct people that you aren’t – you told them that you were so comfortable with him that you can be really intimate with him at times. You didn’t know if he said the same thing to other people though.

There were instances that your closeness made you feel things – you just wanted to kiss him, cradle him in your arms, or even do it with him. You had to fight it because you were not sure if he felt the same.

You wanted to say something, but the words left your mouth. You looked at him lovingly, wishing that something will come out of your intimacy. He sensed your longing and pecked you on the lips.

It was very brief that you weren’t able to process it. You blinked when he pulled away, making him giggle at your reaction. “Aw, you’re so cute Essie,” he said, pinching your nose. You glared at him in return, and he soothed the part he pinched.

“I love you,” he said, his face glowing with warmth.

The words came out of your mouth without any hesitation: “I love you too.”

Those three words may seem romantic, but they can still mean differently – either they mean he loves you more than you think or he loves you just as his best friend.

You wondered what he meant by that.

\\\

II. Inspired by my favorite Regina Spektor song

When Essie realized she was in love with Johnny Suh, she knew she was screwed.

She had a lot of guy friends who were close to her, but they did not reach the level she had with the Chicago native.

They were quite intimate – they had skinship similar to that of a couple. People often thought that they were dating, which they either pretended to be (at times to fend off creeps) or dismissed.

Sometimes, she had to hold herself back from touching him. She knew other people would make comments behind their back about the way she massaged his hand when she was bored, or when her hand absentmindedly ran across his chest down to his waist when she was comforting him.

But that was how they were. In return, Johnny liked to hug her and bury his face in the crook of her neck, as if he was kissing it. There were instances that he did – just a simple peck. That wasn’t romantic, right?

However, these gestures were getting to her. The topics they were discussing lately were about relationships and what they would like to see in their ideal partner.

Essie noticed that he was taking notes. When she talked about how she would love it if her dream guy would get her tickets to any one of her favorite performers at a show abroad and watch it with her, he made it happen a week later.

He dragged her to the airport at 3 a.m. on a Thursday so they could fly to Peru and watch Franz Ferdinand later in the evening. They spent two days and three nights, resulting in a memo from her office when she got back. It was a surprise that made her feel loved and terrified at the same time.

Whenever people did something for her, she appreciated it. Truly, madly, and deeply, like the song goes. But she was terrified at how her heart beat loudly against her chest when he held her hand, gripped it tightly, and looked at her straight in the eyes as he led her closer to the stage of the concert they were watching.

“Aren’t I a step ahead of your ideal partner?” He said while the strumming of an electric guitar echoed in the open night.

She cocked her head at him, gesturing him to repeat what he said. He laughed in response and patted her shoulder. “Never mind,” he mouthed as he continued to hold her hand.

In fact, she heard him loud and clear. But she didn’t expect his words. She was rendered speechless by it.  

As she currently watched Johnny furiously typing away on his phone at the other end of the sofa, she reevaluated her feelings for the nth time.

They were living together for the past three months, along with their friend Mark. Her apartment, which she shared with Nini, was under repair. It was her part of the house that needed repairs, making Nini stay behind and watch over the process.

Essie was lucky that Johnny immediately offered his apartment, which had another spare room. When she moved in, she was shocked that he made it a replica of her room. She found it creepy at first but then grew to love it each day. It was sweet, very sweet, of Johnny Suh to do this.

He has always been sweet, if not smooth, for the duration of their friendship.

His actions must tell her something by now, right? But no, she could also be the densest person in the world.

“Hey, baby. Are you okay?” Johnny broke her reverie, glancing at her worried face before going back to his phone.

“Yeah…I am,” she responded slowly, her eyes looking for something to distract herself with (other than him, duh). “I’m just…at a loss.”

“What do you mean?” This got his attention as he shoved his phone in his pocket, moving closer to her at the other end of the couch.

“I…I don’t know what to do,” Essie whispered, looking at her palms this time.  

“Hey, what’s up, really?” She could feel the warmth of his body near her, and she closed her eyes when he wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her toward his chest.

“Johnny…” she mumbled, burying her neck on her shoulder. Her left arm hooked around his waist while her right gripped the fabric of her dress tightly.

“Baby…” Those words were enough to make her weep.

Why must you make me feel this way?

–––

FIN

#nct drabbles #nct au #nct fanfic #nct scenarios #nct fanfiction #nct imagine #nct fluff #nct angst #nct smut #nct 127 drabbles #nct 127 au #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 fanfiction #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 smut #nct johnny #nct 127 johnny #johnny suh #seo youngho #johnny suh au #johnny suh drabbles #johnny suh fanfic #johnny suh imagines #johnny suh scenarios #johnny suh fluff #johnny suh smut #nct 127 angst #johnny suh angst

[hydemeincradle]

I’ll Take Care of Her

Cybird Creative Challenge Day 1: Firsts (masterpost to original prompts: https://hydemeincradle.tumblr.com/post/616992091106574336/cybird-creative-challenge-prompt-masterpost)

Notes: So remember Anise? Well, I kinda threw her in Sengoku... And as she falls to the ground again, she happens to bump into a certain someone special.

Tagging @littlemissyina seeing as I have written about her character, Daisuke. Hope I have done him justice (although I did use most of your words)! And as always thanks to my bestest @stupidoafofspades for checking and editing for me <3 Lastly, while writing this a song came to my mind and it fits perfectly, Mansionair’s Falling. So if you want to join in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c21Uw6Pc4c and the lyrics can be found here: https://genius.com/Mansionair-falling-lyrics Word count: 1786

__

It was the smallest little thing, sat there on his outstretched palm. And yet it made the biggest difference. Deep down I was still afraid, so very afraid, but it was quite simple, take the sweet and try it. I plucked it and slipped it between my lips savouring the intense sweetness and nodding. It was good, real good. The sort of good where I could easily get addicted to such sweetness. Before I knew it, a bag of them was held out to me and I took it, scrabbling inside for another. I wanted to grumble, to protest, my trust was being bought with sugar… and it was working.

“Thank you,” I said sheepish, staring at the pretty pink bag in my hand. “You didn’t have to.”

“It’s the least I could do for treating you the way I did.”

I glanced up at him and he was smiling, not a fake smile –I’d seen plenty of those before– but a genuine one. It wasn’t like I was good at really telling how trustworthy people were, but right now I was alone in a whole different place and he was the only one reaching a hand out to me. A sugar filled one. I smiled back at him, what did I have to lose? I had nothing but the clothes I’d escaped in.

Alright Daisuke, I’ll trust you.

“Well,” I started and quickly spun round in a large circle, turning back to face him. “Nothing happened before now…” My eyes widened at my error. “No wait. Nothing happened before the other food. You just met me and fed me tasty things, ok?”

I nodded at my inclusion. The food at the tea house had been very tasty and it’d be awful to have to forget it. Even if it was pretend forget.

He grinned and it felt like I’d eaten another piece of konpeito with the sweetness I could taste. “Okay, so like we just met, at the tea house then.”

“Exactly. Oh but I still have no idea what I'm doing.” I laughed and held up my new bag. “And I kinda don't have anything except what I’m wearing and this cute little bag.”

“I can set you up at the inn with a room,” he said with a nod. “And I have a few kimonos you could borrow but they will be a bit big on you… but we have a seamstress here that could make a few for you soon.”

I frowned, feeling so guilty, I didn’t want him to feel responsible for me. “That seems like an awful lot. Are you sure that is ok? I don't even have any money to pay you back and I don't know what I am going to do and…” I stopped and sighed. I’d already been through this before after I moved the first time and it had been a pain, and here I was again.  

Daisuke waved his hand and smiled. “Don’t worry about it, we can just visit the tea house again and I’ll take that as you paying me back.”

I stared at him confused. “How is that paying you back?”

“Just say yes, and consider it even.”

His smile widened to a grin and I had to snort and look away as I felt my cheeks flush. “Alright, it’s a deal. I am very curious about all the different foods you have, especially if they are just as yummy as what you’ve already shown me.”

“Good,” he said, reaching up carefully and plucking a leaf from my hair. “Shall I show you to the inn?”

I froze for a moment, unsure how to react; his touch had been so gentle and kind. Instead, I just nodded and settled for glancing around at the market before we left; it was full of small stalls and shops with many items I wanted to stop and admire, but behind us the sun was setting and the market closing. I would be back for sure.

As we walked to the inn in the dying light my mind raced around thinking about what had happened. The adrenaline was slowly slipping away as I clung to the safety Daisuke was promising; the knots in my stomach eased and gently unclenched. Only hours before I had been falling, falling, falling from the sky landing in a tree. I’d ran from my home only to be grabbed and interrogated here. My wrists still ached from the bindings and yet… I had to forget. We were starting over.

I pushed the thoughts away as we entered the inn, a building that looked just the same as all the rest to me. This whole place was new and so different from the two countries I had lived in before. It was scary thinking of adjusting again, but the alternative was worse. I would get used to it. I had to. Or I suppose, I could leave again… Daisuke led me upstairs towards an empty room, pausing to grab some clothes from his room next door then handing it to me.

“Here you go, I’ll be just in my room if you need me. I expect you want to rest.”

With a short laugh, I took the clothes. “I feel like I need to sleep forever but I’m wide awake all at the same time. So I think I'm going to wrestle with all this,” I motioned to the ridiculous length that my hair had grown to, “and see if that helps.”

My flailing earned a chuckle and I found myself stepping closer. “Would you like any help with it?”

… Help with it? My fingers found the edge of my sleeve and I twisted it under my fingertips, fidgeting. “Um, well, maybe… I don’t know. Uh, wouldn’t that be a bit weird?”

“I guess?” He shrugged. “I just thought I’d offer. Well, goodnight Anise.”

With a quick wave he slipped into his room and I was left wondering what to feel. My mind was yelling fear, to hide away until rested and keep running, and my gut told the opposite. Each brief touch and smile from Daisuke chipped away at my fear, drawing me closer. I pulled the door shut and sunk down on the funny bed-floor, I needed sleep and a clear mind.

Tattered clothes were dropped with a sigh, the only things left of my life in Cradle. I pulled out a photograph I had hidden deep in a pocket, holding it with all the care in the world; the only thing left of my life before Cradle. And here I was trying to dress myself in a strange man’s clothing, fumbling with the cord and trying to tighten the baggy material. He’d been right, it was too big for me. I wouldn’t have thought it, with me being as tall as him, but he did seem to be hiding what appeared to be a muscled figure under these strange long clothes.

Brush in hand, I attempted to run it through my newly grown hair which now pooled its way to my ankles; it fell heavy and still contained some leaves from my past collide with the tree. Each knot just pulled and tangled, leaving me growling in anger and frustration until I flopped back on the bed in defeat.

Would it really be that weird to go and ask him for help? I wanted to be able to do it all on my own, to take care and fend for myself but… surely it would be ok, just this once?

I made my way back to the hallway, hovering outside of Daisuke’s door hoping he hadn’t fallen asleep or anything just yet. Or maybe I should just go back and try again… I shouldn’t bother him… should I?

“ Psssst... Daisukeee... Um, can you brush my hair? Please?”

The door slid open far too fast for my liking, and I felt my cheeks starting to burn in embarrassment.

A smirk graced his lips as he said, “thought it would be weird?”

I crossed my arms and pouted at the horrible teasing tone that came from his mouth. “It's just... I don't usually ask people I just met if they can brush my hair and it's kind of a weird thing to ask but there is so much of it and the brush gets stuck and I can't reach and,” I admitted quietly, “I need help.”

“Come in and sit down.”

“I normally chop it off when it does this,” I mumbled, shuffling into his room.

Daisuke sat down on the bed-floor and pat the space in front of him. “How short? I think it looks nice like this.”

“You think it looks nice?” I stared at him. Were we seeing the same hair? “Did you not see the leaves still tangled up in there?”

I stood feeling vulnerable, not knowing if it was truly safe, but I took a quick breath and sat down on the bed-floor. I had decided to trust him, so I shouldn’t stop now.

“My hair used to be this short.” I tapped my shoulder and pulled the bulk of my tangled hair to lay on my back. “It seems to be... a condition I have. Gets out of control and I chop it off again.”

With a gentle touch, Daisuke started running the brush through my hair, stopping to pull out a steadily growing pile of leaves. Each stroke of the brush calmed my mind further, until no fear tried to make me flee. I was enjoying my time here, instead.

“Is... Is this your natural colour?”

I was all too aware just how close Daisuke was now, with his voice soft and warm behind me.

“Yeah, it’s um, kinda crazy I know. It's... a thing where I was born. Some people have all sorts of colours.”

I smiled thinking back to the random assortment of colours I’d seen. Although unusual, I had been quite lucky to have mine match quite well. Purple, blue, and pink. Colours I’d grown to enjoy, even now, even with my fear of magic.

“I’ve never seen hair this colour before. It looks nice... different.”

Different. Yes, it was definitely that. The people I’d seen so far had simple coloured hair, blacks, browns, whites. Had he even seen purple hair before?

My eyes slipped closed with the lull of the brush movements, and I could feel myself falling again. But this time I was caught by safe hands. I couldn’t help but think of earlier with my back slumped against the tree, I could barely keep my eyes open and I heard a warm voice say as he scooped me up gently, “I’ll take care of her.”

#CybirdCreativeChallenge #cybird creative challenge #Anise #ikemen sengoku #ocs

[girlonastring]

List of Future H50 Fic

1) Graceless:

Danny loses visitation/rights until the reassessment of his job adjourns; after discovering Rachel is moving with Stan to Hawaii, he transfers to HPD. No one there knows about Grace (until he knows his fate, talking about her is too painful), not even after joining Five-0.

Until one day, he hears that precious voice say ‘Danno’ and he turns to the best sight in the world: his baby girl.

The bulk of the story will be of that scene, and the events that follow. It’ll have angst, drama, family moments - and pre-Mcdanno. Depending on how long it goes, they may even be starting a relationship. But they are definitely end game.

2) Any Man of Mine:

A combination of Steve things like the song, or the opposite to it. I still haven’t quite worked out all the details for that, but it’s what I’m aiming for. Will start off with a memory of Danny singing along to the song with Grace, and later will have her bringing up the similarities of their song and Steve to Danno, and bonding over that.

It’ll be pre-Mcdanno, but also that lovely trope where they’ve basically been dating for forever, but only one of them really notices it. Which will be Danny! Also, a 5+1 because I LOVE that!

3) Undercover WitSec:

This one is pure indulgence for me. I love the idea of Danny having been undercover when he worked back in Jersey, so in this he’ll have been undercover (thinking maybe with the mob?? Still deciding) and gotten close with a kid (placing this before!Grace, but still with Rachel) and when all is said and done, the kid (an OFC, because I can) is put in witness protection.

Shoot forward however many years, and he’s in Hawaii, and the only ones who know about this girl are Rachel (because she’s a big reason why he wanted a kid) and Grace (honorary big sister no one knows about; why she knows exactly I don’t know?? Haven’t figured that out yet) so when this girl shows up, calling Danny something no one understands in Italian cue the shocked reactions!

The reason she was in witsec is ‘dead’ so she’s back and it’s getting their lives resettled, have some nice pre-Mcdanno going on, then low and behold, the reason is not really dead and we have some action. Ends in established Mcdanno!

4) Serial Revenge:

Thought this one up at work yesterday and I am P U M P E D for it! Still figuring out a lot of the details, so this overview will be even shorter.

Danny is friends with this kid when he’s young, who seems so normal, but one day it’s discovered his parents are dead. Not only dead, but murdered. He has his suspicions about it, but nothing is ever tied together and so the kid (who something is obviously not right about - still figuring out that detail!) is sent to a mental hospital (foster care from there?? Don’t know yet!)

Flash forward and we’re in Hawaii, and there are killing happening that Five-0 dont’ know about until somehow, there’s a Danny connection and HPD calls them in.

Grace is sent away for safety, Danny is living with Steve for the same reason, bodies keep showing up, and it’s a race to figure out who it is, then to prove it AND stop him.

Killer winds up dead in the end, we get Mcdanno happening, and I am so very ready for this fic!

5) Dolled Up Steve:

Steve watching Grace at his house while Danny has to go do - something, and they play tea party and dolls and hey, dress up for the tea party! And when Danny comes back to find Grace doing Steve’s nails, look of intense concentration while she jabs away, and Steve is looking at her like she’s his whole world? So fond and full of love? That is Danny’s ‘oh shit I’m in love with this dumbass moment’.

I have a feeling this will jump from Danny POV, to Steve POV, back to Danny POV.

6) Sunshine & Whiskey:

Follows along with the lyrics that I chose a while back, and most likely will wind up a PWP. Maybe get some lime, maybe get some lemon. Just waiting on it to let me know what we’re doin’!

7) I've Got You Under My Skin:

The sap for this one! Established relationship, living together, and during a tender moment when they’re swaying in the living room/kitchen (haven’t decided;;) along to Frank Sinatra, someone proposes. <3 Then! Another chapter of them slow dancing to the same song at their wedding. <33

8) Pour Some Sugar:

So Danny in a private moment of Rachel’s bachelorette party did a strip routine for her and at a party Kono and Malia find out about it and it turns into him doing a very funny, extra snippet for Kono’s bachelorette party which he then gets to join. No one figures this out until Kono makes a comment about a tattoo that Danny has that’s not exactly public friendly, followed by Danny saying something about bachelorette parties getting crazy.

So Steve and Chin wind up finding out, which of course leads to Steve getting to see the routine in his own private moment, but made different so it’s just for him. And yes, there will be an explanation to why Danny knows how to do a strip routine, lol

9) Pictures Worth:

So Danny overhears Kono and Malia talking about tasteful pictures being done for a wedding gift and tells them “hey, that can be done” And he pulls them aside and shows them photos he took of a high school ex that she had done as a wedding gift for her wife, and “see, tasteful, just do it like that”

They discuss it and he helps them find someone on the island who will do it and be discreet/comfortable. What he doesn’t share is that before he took the ones of his ex, he did practice shots of himself so that he could be sure the gift turned out perfect. No one else knows this - not even Rachel.

I don’t know how Steve and Chin will find out (or why they have to, but I apparently like to involve the team in this set up *shrugs*) and Steve finds out about his private shoot and there’s Mcdanno goodness!

10) Too Close:

Old friends of Danny’s come to the island for a visit, and one night when they’ve had a bit to drink he admits that Too Close by Next makes him think of Steve, talking about the hot and bothered aspect of it - he’s quite smashed at this point. At a party for the old friends to meet the new, Kono and the girl friend (or the girl friend and the guy friend {they’re married!}) are talking about how clueless Steve and Danny are and how they need to get together already etc

Later they’ve had enough and the friend mentions the song mention so Kono sets it as Steve’s tone on Danny’s phone and ‘loses’ the phone so Steve has to call. The rest of the story is dealin’ with the aftermath of that and of course the Mcdanno!

11) It Wasn’t Me:

Danny and maybe Rachel having a normal day when all of a sudden their little angel goes through singing the chorus of the aforementioned song and just flipping their shit.

After finding out that they have Uncle Matty to thank because he thought Gracie was asleep but she wasn’t and having to explain that it wasn’t an appropriate song for her to be singing and something about “Cheating is wrong” so that when Grace finds out about Rachel and Stan and later Danny and Rachel (possibly) its just “so you two are hypocrites” or something.

Essentially I just want that initial freak out, and definitely will be finding some way to put Mcdanno in it!

12) DILF:

So Steve is Grace’s teacher and she overhears him saying that Danny is a DILF and later she asks her dad what that means and the choking on a drink and going bright red and trying to figure out what the heck to do with that, how to answer. The rest is yet to be determined, but of course it will be Mcdanno!

13) Love Bug:

YOU GUYS. I forgot about this one! This is what the title says: people of Hawaii are being bitten by a love bug, and the team is on the case to find out what the heck is going on! The effects can get more dangerous the longer there is no cure, so of course Steve is bitten. Not only that, but he just can’t seem to keep his hands or eyes off of Danny! There’s intrigue, case solving, and awkward I-couldn’t-keep-my-hands-off-you avoidance that all ends in lovely Mcdanno <3

14) Sleepy Prompt #20

“I think your hair is cute when you wake up, if only you could see it the way I did.”

15) Smut Prompt #57

“If we get caught I’m blaming you.”

16) Smut Prompt #59

“Wow, I didn’t realize you were that...flexible.”

17) Whumptober Prompt #7

Isolation

18) Whumptober Prompt #8

Stab Wound

19) Whumptober Prompt #9 

Shackled

20) Whumptober Prompt #10

Unconscious

21) Whumptober Prompt #11

Stitches (continuation of day 3)

22) Whumptober Prompt #12

Don’t Move

23) Whumptober Prompt #13

Adrenaline

24) Whumptober Prompt #16

Pinned Down

25) Whumptober Prompt #18

Wake Up

26) Whumptober Prompt #19

Asphyxiation

27) Whumptober Prompt #20

Trembling

28) Whumptober Prompt #21

Laced Drink

29) Whumptober Prompt #23

Bleeding Out

30) Whumptober Prompt #24

Secret Injury

31) Whumptober Prompt #26

Abandoned 

32) Whumptober Prompt #27

Ransom (continuation of day 26)

33) Whumptober Prompt #28

Beaten

34) Whumptober Prompt #29

Numb (continuation of day 28)

35) Whumptober Prompt #30

Recovery (continuation of day 12)

36) Whumptober Prompt #31

Embrace

37) Sleepy Prompt #34

“Will you carry me to bed?”

38) 5+1 Mistletoe

Basically the 5 kisses Steve shared under the mistletoe that were platonic and the one that meant the most. Gotta find my notes for this!

39) A.D.I.D.A.S.

A 5+1 esque fic of smut scenes!

So there are the ideas so far! A few have been mentioned in previous posts, I just don’t know how to link them in this one. They will be coming out in no particular order, and it will take one time because I will wind up writing multiple ones at once. It’s just a matter of which one is speaking louder to me!

I hope someone else is excited for this with me, and please, feel free to talk to me about any of them! Honestly I am so pumped to write them all, I can’t wait to get them all started! :D

Edit: July 19, 2019  August 21, 2020

#hawaii 5 0 fanfiction #mcdanno #writing #hawaii five 0 fanfiction #danny williams #steve mcgarrett #my ideas #which will become a reality! #so pumped!! #fic list #mcdanno fic list #my to do list

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

🗣Tues 15 Dec ‘20🙊

Anyone order their daily with EXTRA DISCOURSE today? Lucky you, I guess, I'd send it back to the kitchen if I had the option but this is more a 'you'll take what you get and like it' kind of establishment so here we are! EAT UP we got Liam and Lou Teasdale making everyone mad, Louis and Harry's teams forgetting they're supposed to be mortal enemies, and Zayn?? Getting papped?? Omg is Z3 really coming this time? I've been burned so many times before (flown too close to the sun) but what if....... So first Gigi and zaby stroller were papped, then Zayn was papped in his usual way-- 'if you can get a good picture of me in the seconds it takes me to walk from my front door to the car have at it, that's exactly all you get'-- and then a fan reported seeing Zigi and zaby at a pizza restaurant. Zayn's hair is bleached white blond and that's about all I can tell you except that Z NEVER gets papped (or spotted really) for nothing so I am excite!!

Liam's back! He did the postponed-from-last-Tues hour long live for Stand Up To Cancer (and raised $16k!) and he's got a show in two days so I'd say his extremely brief breather is probably done with, whether he got the time he needed to be happy about coming back or not. He seems in good shape for the live though, even if he does say “its been a really long day, you don't even know, REALLY long” and that what he wants most for Christmas is “to have a little bit of time to reflect.” But he says he is going to take some time out and go away and write music “for the first time in a very long time,” in the new year, nice! He mentions how he went up to Sweden for recording recently and says it ”went really well I'm really really excited” about the new music and, uhhh, “got something sent through from Mick Fleetwood while I was over in Sweden writing, some guitar stuff, which was amazing, and he was dressed like santa at the time!” I...what??? I'll just... leave that there?? About other bands, he says that he's become a big fan of the Wanted over time, that “someone Zayn-ed out,” of Little Mix but “Zayn left for pretty much the same reasons and I do feel for them,” and “are 5SOS still together? Did they pull an us I thought they pulled an us?” He said yes, it's so great about Louis' show, and “it was great, and do you know what, like listening through those lyrics, it’s really nice to hear the truth in his music because obviously I mean I know all of the full story about him, and [pause].. and uh... his relationship with his girlfriend and whatever else,” SKLDYSSKKJ.

This long live also had him responding to screen comments he would usually ignore (though thank GOD he only reads but doesn't answer 'what happened with Niall in Japan' please tell me the questioner wasn't trying to get him to comment on the 'violently masturbating' story), anyway so we got Liam on touching his hair if larry is real-- “of course that's not going to happen don't be silly,” and on whether he thinks 'larry is disrespectful' “sometimes I do... actually that's not true, all the time I do.” Well he's not wrong though I'd expand that to 'all the fans' but if I had to wade through a million “touch your nose if larry is real” comments every time I was promoting my own material, for ten years, I'd probably get tetchy too! He didn't say it was or wasn't real, as he himself pointed out he never WILL do that for REASONS; tbh I'm with Liam can people PLEASE stop being so embarrassing on main and let him live? ANYWAY, moving on, his Advent Alarm clock today is the sleep story edited down to be just Liam laughing for like 30 seconds, aka the exact edit that I suggested they should make a couple weeks ago, which I find frankly extremely alarming (ALARMing HA) are they... listening to me?? Well if Liam's management are looking for ideas BOY HAVE I GOT SOME FOR THEM hit me up fellas PLEASE.

Harry and Louis both announced further postponements of their UK and Europe tour shows, like really the same announcement and just fully back to back, I can only assume that after weeks of intensive hashing out to match up dates their teams have arrived at some kind of plan and were like cool let's announce! Louis has added some new shows, while Harry's new schedule is undisclosed as yet. Harry says “I really hope to play these shows and will have news for you in the new year on when they will take place.” Louis' new dates include previously omitted countries (Iceland! Austria!), and those tickets go on sale Friday. Harry did not respond to Rob Sheffield's awkward attempt to link Watermelon Sugar and WAP as being similar but he did like Megan Thee Stallion's post celebrating her successful year, and Vulture ranked Adore You in its top 5 videos of the year with a much better take on what Harry is all about, saying that it “highlights one of the singer’s best traits: his willingness to be delightfully weird.” Kid Harpoon said that he and Harry “wrote a song in Japan that may yet see the light of the day,” and Harry continues to roast him, disputing his songwriter of the year award-- “they found 8,000,000 opposing ballots in a bin behind his house! FRAUD!”

And last but most discourse-y-est of all, The Sun made waves today, pulling the most salacious parts of a Lou Teasdale interview with the Sex, Lies and DM Slides podcast from last week and bringing it to wider attention. In the interview she talked at length about systemic discrimination against women working in the music industry and her own work experiences, which naturally include (very briefly) touching on her highest profile job- the years she spent traveling with 1D. In this context she says “you kind of can’t sleep with them [the band]- it’s quite important to keeping your job... some people would come in and like you know assistants and stuff and I think they would really think... that it was love and obviously it’s not,” and “it’s just the quickest way to lose your job- because then they’ve got a new girlfriend and she’s there and they don’t want you in the room.” She did not sell her story to The Sun she mentioned this in passing as part of an interview about her work experiences; she herself says, “I didn’t do an interview [with] the sun. I’ve never done that. I did a podcast with friends about loads of things.”

There is nothing remotely unlikely in this story, either in the concept that members of the band slept with girls casually (we know that certain of them did and there isn't even anything wrong with that in a situation of consent, the denial of it is as bizarre as scribbling out the beer bottle in a 28 year old man's hand), or that low level members (“assistants and stuff”) of the 150 person+ crew appeared and disappeared on a regular basis. The band were, to my guess, probably simply not paying very much attention to the serious ramifications of this carelessness and the consequences rather than demanding that people be fired, but I do very much hope they've learned over the years to be responsible for the kind of power that they have over other peoples' lives (something I really doubt they understood the extent of yet as very young people being dragged from one place to another who felt powerless themselves).

#liam payne #harry styles #louis tomlinson #zayn #lou teasdale #listen: people talk about wanting the 1D tell all but I don't think you guys do want it at all tbh #you know the whole point of that is that it will destroy the 'perfect angels' front that was created around the boys? #loving and supporting someone even though you know they are imperfect and flawed is not something to be ashamed of though #so I say bring it on #Liam has SO MANY reasons to be cranky right now and coming back online to everyone clamoring for him to comment #on Louis' record breaking veeps stream... honestly think it through?? have some fucking tact #Liam also said Freddie and Bear facetime which is just such clear nonsense I have no comment he just wants to make people happy #I DON'T KNOW if the Mick Fleetwood thing is real like – he seems dead serious??? I think it's serious? #How fucking Liam is that right he is as ever the most unrealistic I'm bringing back that tag: #Liam is a Gary Sue #Zaayyyyn is Z3 coming??? listen may I suggest sir-- LIVEZTREAM??? PLEASE? #I know you won't tour and wouldn't want you to but just consider how PERFECT this would be?? PLEASE SIR #lost in the shuffle: Lou Teasdale also addressed the old quote about keeping the 1D boys from looking 'too feminine' #(assumed to be @harry) saying 'it’s taken totally out of context. A clip from male grooming interview talking about grooming men. #I have no problem with men wearing make up or looking feminine it’s my profession. I apologise it sounds like that here.' #I feel like the truth is somewhere in between but I very much doubt she- the MUA- had final say over their images #and might well have not been the only thing standing between harry and his nail art and eyebrow grooming #I don't like her but like- dislike her for better reasons! #There are plenty she's very annoying but talking about sexism in the workplace and telling her story isn't one of them #Liam said he was very drunk watching Louis' show #I have a lot of things I'd like to say to Liam's management but mostly not publicly and some of them very rude #but I will say that while I guess the acknowledgement that young girls are the real drivers of the music industry and should be courted is #cool the continued obsession with only marketing these guys to that demographic was always ridiculous #and gets worse every year and Liam's team is simply throwing away money and fans by not marketing him so hard (heh) to out gay men #long post

[bleepblopbloop56]

Yall want some more blanket fort au? No? Too bad

Roman and remy are polar opposites as children

Remy would do nothing but sleep as a baby, a lil angel child who barely cried and was easy to settle down

Roman would be screaming constantly and it drove both of them to tears at some point or another like “ food, diaper, burped, nap, what do you wANT”

They had to call patton's parents quite a few times being like “what do we do”

Remy liked bath times as a child, just loved the water.

Roman to this day still doesn't LIKE showering or bathing but he stopped throwing fits about ut around the age of 10

The only way to get that child to stay in a bath would be bubbles and so many toys you couldn't actually see the water

When they were still young enough to take baths together reny Did Not Like™ when roman would splash water everywhere. If we're being honest neither did patton or logan.

While getting him into the water was a struggle, getting him out was just as bad. He would kick and say no until he was in it, then didnt wanna get out.

Remy was just a freakin angel but a bit of a picky eater. Roman would eat anything he could get his hands on. Logan has lost count of how many times romans had to be stopped from eating mud, various bugs, a worm, or paint

Really the boy has no filter he's just if i can fit it in my mouth i can eat it

Neither likes carrots. They hate them actually.

Roman had a phase where he would only eat chicken nuggets for a solid month. They were Concerned™

Roman would make remy and virgil put on plays for their parents that neither wanted to do. Complete with horrible costumes often including one of logan's ties they keep managing to steal (patton helps but login doesn't need to know) improv songs, and about 3 minute long death scenes were roman has all the attention as he's like “BLARG I'M DYING OH NO I SEE THE LIGHT”

Logan always laughs at how cute they are and patton fakes the appropriate reactions (very obvious gasps, somewhat genuine laughs, clapping at the end of the songs, and fake crying when someone “dies”)

The first time there was a fake death on “stage” and patton was like “oh no!!” Roman broke scene too tell his dad that its okay he wasn't really dead

Reenactments of disney movies were everyone's favorite

Virgil never remembered the songs lyrics so would stand there awkwardly mumbling almost to the tune of the song and patton would clap regardless

As different as they are, when remy decided to make trouble along with roman, it was hell.

Going to the store with both children? Torture.

They'd run in different directions and try and climb out of the carts, logan needing to catch them right before they fell and seriously hurt themselves.

Roman would always wanna go to the toys and would sometimes try and sneak them in the cart and logan would stare him dead in the eyes as he pulled it out and put it back on the shelves.

Remy and roman: MCDONALDS MCDONALDS MCDONALDS

logan: one black coffee

Once the boys got ahold of logan's coffee when he wasn't looking… patton immediately put a month long coffee ban on the house due to the disaster that was trying to get two sugar rushed toddlers in control

The boys have had screaming contests before that caused many headaches from their dads. I don't have anything else to say except the boys sitting in their room just shouting to see who could scream the loudest. Patton then had to explain that if they kept this up someone would call the cops and that would be a bad thing

The boys house has a second floor which means there's a staircase which means many shenanigans. Such as:

Trying to see who could slide down the railing the best

Seeing how far they could jump off the stairs

Getting in a cardboard box and sledding into a pile of stuffed animals at the bottom

And trying to crabwalk up the stairs

Needles to say the stairs were the cause if many bruises

Storytimes with logan were always a treat

Patton would usually take care of putting them to bed, but some nights they just wanted papa to read to them

Remy was always much easier to put to sleep since he acted like a normal human being and get progressively sleepier until it was time to nap

While remy was more like a dial, roman was a light switch. It was all or nothing with him

He'd be bouncing off the wall completely and totally awake and then just shout “OKAY I'M TIRED NOW” and you had about 10 seconds to catch him before he passes out in his feet or just straight up goes limp in your arms and sleeps for a few hours.

Logan still says teaching roman to walk was his biggest mistake. Walking led to climbing and running and trouble. While remy would giggle and waddle around trying to climb on couches and tables, roman would run as fast as he could until something or someone stopped him. Usually a table or an unsuspecting human.

And while remy always prefered to be covered, roman Did Not like clothes. 90% of the time he was a baby/toddler he was only in a diaper cause he managed to wiggle his way out of his clothes when people weren't looking.

Shirts were the bane of his existence and don't even get him started in pants. He spent a lot of time in skirts just cause he didnt want to wear pants and patton “compromised” with him.

It was less a compromise more “listen kiddo you gotta wear something how bout this”

Potty training was not a good time in any of their lives. Remy and roman had no idea what was going on and patton and logan also had no idea how to do this.

Parenting books galore, mixed with calls to every adult person with a child they knew

“But the book says-”

“The books say to do this but trust me, it doesn't work and most of those people grow up to have asshole children so listen just don't”

“Hey karen i know we haven't talked in 2 years but how do children work”

“Hey mom yes i know its two am but what did you do when i wouldn't go back to sleep?”

Car rides worked pretty well to get remy back to sleep but roman needed a lot of physical contact at all times.

For most of his life if roman wasn't either swaddled or being held, hed cry. Remy doesn't mind it but usually he's okay with just hand holding if he wants affection. Roman just needs to be fully octopussed around someone at all times

Family game night as children was actually pretty fun and tame. Until they grow up and it get more and more aggressive.

At first when it was just roman and remy they'd be teams (roman and patton, remy and logan. Sometimes they'd switch but you don't mess with tradition)

Then virgil started being allowed to play and they went to adults vs children

And as the boys got old enough to stop playing on teams that's when things got interesting

At first they worried how the competitive yelling would effect virgil but it seems like he joined in just as fast.

And then when dimitri joined… boy it was every man for himself and they were all out for blood.

Monopoly is banned from the house but uno? Uno is screaming and betrayal, and they always play for snacks. Winner gets to choose what we eat tonight, a full thing of oreos that they are not required to share if they win (they usually do. Except dee. He just says fuck you and eats them all)

Edit: this post isnt fucking showing up in the right order on my blog and im fucking upset

#thomas sanders #sander sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #tw deceit #remy sanders #blanket fort au #logicality #someone told me to edit the post and try again #and apperently add the tag #sfw #on my post to try and fix it #but im so fucking frustrated im gonna cry

[stuckwith-harry]

hey you, i only followed you recently and I really like your hinny fanfics and your poetry. Would you mind telling me about your process when you write? I really wanna learn how to write properly and you seem to take your craft so seriously. How do you built a story, how often do you edit, how much time do you spent on your work, what do you try to go for,...? Thanks xxx

Anon, this is the coolest ask I’ve EVER received, and I’m hanging it on my wall next to all the colour-coded flashcards with poems on them. This is going to be LONG, and by no means exhaustive - I’m gonna jump around and ramble a bit and if there’s anything specific you wanna hear more about, please ask! I fucking love talking about writing!

I’m gonna put most of this under a cut, but before we dive in: yes, I tAkE mY wRiTiNg sErIoUsLy in the sense that I’d like to publish some original bodies of work in my life and to have physical copies of them exist on a bookshelf that’s not my own. I don’t need it to pay the bills, but if you googled my full name I’d like for, like, a poetry collection to show up and not, I don’t know, the two poems I got published in a regional newspaper when I was eight.

(And please let the record show that they’re fine poems for a primary schooler. The cringe years came way after that, kids.)

So, even having some ambitions in the industry, the reality is that I’m a 19-year-old kid with a keyboard and a dodgy internet connection who discovered fanfiction when she was twelve and got hooked for life. We’re going to retire the idea of “writing properly” for now, because writing is supposed to be fun and I haven’t actually gotten accepted into that Creative Writing Bachelor’s degree I so desperately want to do. YET. Don’t let the fancy writing blog (@jessicagluch) fool you into thinking I know what the heck I’m doing. But, okay, with that out of the way, let’s get into what I’m personally doing right now, yeah?

Fanfiction

You asked about process, and the truth is, I don’t … really have one. For the Muggle/FWB AU called “Let Me love” I just published, I actually wrote a pretty detailed outline that I then filled in, which was fun, but it’s not a habit exactly. I’d written a lot of assorted scenes and pieces of dialogue for that one, too, so I had a lot of material and just had to put all the scraps and pieces in order and stitch it all together. After the brainstorming, word-vomity part of writing Let Me love, my #1 task was figuring out where everything went, and making sure it’s all there.

As soon as I’d written a full first draft, no gaps, and the anatomy of the whole thing had somewhat clicked into place, I moved away from it for a while. Wrote something else. Came back maybe a week or two later, polished up the prose a bit very late at night.

Figure out when your creative hours are, if you can pinpoint it at all. Mine are precisely “I was supposed to be asleep two hours ago and I’ve got an important thing tomorrow” o’ clock. Sigh.

Just - leave it alone for a bit, come back with fresh eyes. I love writing Let Me love - I’m working on part 2 right now - but after you’ve fucked around with the same sentence fifty times, you get sick of it. And I did. At some point you have to decide to put down the pen and let it be.

Especially because fanfiction isn’t something you’re writing for a publisher - hopefully, you’re writing it mostly for you - no one is holding a gun to your head to get rid of every last adverb or stuff like that. I can do what I want, MOM. I am allowed to make the thing I’m writing as tropey and campy as I want and hold up a big old middle finger to the rules, if that’s what I want to do.

Fanfiction, to me, is this grand, batshit writing playground. That’s why I fell for it in the first place - it’s inherently self-indulgent and hedonistic and that you can write everything EXACTLY as you please is the primary purpose it serves as a genre. So go wild.

(Process-wise, the one thing I do very consistently is making moodboards and playlists. I like having some inspiration material to swim around in, which helps me figure out what the story looks and feels and sounds like in my head. 

Every fic has a soundtrack. SOUNDTRACKS ARE IMPORTANT, PEOPLE.

Like, Let Me love is all coloured lights and night-time London and texts left on read. It’s neon signs and wearing somebody else’s t-shirt, messy bedsheets and hangover breakfasts and quarter-life crises.

This is the Pinterest board.)

What I pay most attention to is the stuff that gives the text depth beyond the surface. I look for metaphors - and I personally prefer the ones that carry through the whole thing, ideas we explore throughout the story and revisit at the end. I look for themes that hold a story together beyond the plot. I look for subtext and imagery and I want symbolism, goddamnit. 

(That’s the poet kicking in.)

And of course, I’m a product of my generation, so I love referencing other bodies of work and subverting tropes and stuff like that. Hey kids, intertextuality is fun!

(Like, do you see what I did there? See how the phrase “hey kids x is fun” in itself is a reference to something? See??? I’m a fucking genius.)

I think we need some examples. Allow me to toot my own horn for a minute.

In the Halloween 2018 oneshot I wrote, which is about Harry grappling with the anniversary of his parents’ death when he’s a little older, he visits the graveyard with Ginny and Lily Luna. Ginny comments that “it’s freezing”, to which Harry responds with the titular, “you’re warm”. And yes, it’s October, it’s probably cold. They’re keeping each other warm. And yes, it’s maybe about comfort in harsh situations in general, a more metaphorical warmth, if you will. I get it. 

But when you remember this exchange is taking place on a graveyard, you might start to wonder about warm, living bodies as opposed to cold, deceased ones. And then you think about how this whole story is about the living remembering - in a sense, living with - the dead. And how it’s about death as a part of Harry’s life. And you can probably guess by now that all my literature teachers fucking adored me.

(But he’s also choosing a side here, maybe. But I’m merely the author, you don’t have to listen to me at all. My words beyond the words don’t mean shit unless you decide they do and even then you’re going to find yourself knees-deep in a debate around authorial intent in record-time. In the age of “Nagini was a cursed human woman all along”, I’m not sure I want that.)

I also reference other pieces of work a lot. Often poems, and even more frequently, songs. The songs in Let Me love are VERY IMPORTANT and I can’t show you the full playlist right now because SPOILERS. But the chapters are split into sub-sections via song lyrics. Those are part of the playlist. There’s also a lot of referencing songs in general because Harry is a big music fan in this one, but that’s just indulgence on my part. If I want to make a 21st century Harry a Mitski stan, then I will. And I did!

(AND Let Me love has a Friends reference. For funsies, but also, for much more than funsies.)

“I love you / please do not use it” was inspired by a poem by Savannah Brown called “organs”. (It’s linked in the author’s notes at the beginning.)

“It’s two sugars, right?” borrows and/or references a ton of lines and phrases from T. S. Eliot’s The Hollow Men. Most noticeably:

Sublety isn’t my middle name, exactly. (The forget-me-not-blue sky in The Bride On The Train, anyone?)

In short: I like when my fanfictions are worth rereading. I like when you can come out the second read having found a little more than you did the first. I like when you can wander around a little, and, like a treasure hunter, make some strange new discoveries.

Lastly: of course, writing from your own experience helps. Spy on your own life. Collect all the ways in makes you feel, like a thief, write it down, memorise it, put it in the story. Reuse! Recycle! ✊🏻

I fortunately don’t relate to Harry’s childhood trauma, but the feeling at the beginning of “We’ll figure it out” - which is a story set shortly after him and Ginny find out she’s pregnant and he’s struggling to connect with everybody else’s simple bliss, because he’s terrified, and he’s terrified of admitting he’s terrified - that was real. That “wait a minute, this moment is amazing. I’m supposed to be the happiest person on the planet right now. Why am I not feeling it? What is this emptiness? Am I not happy right now? Why am I having doubts? I’m not supposed to have any doubts! What the fuck is wrong with me?”, that was lifted from a specific experience.

Side note, I’m really proud of that one.

Okay, poetry! 

Where there is even less rules and more fucking around ensues!

I read and promptly lost a quote recently about how explaining a song sort of defeats the purpose. (I’ll link it here if I ever find it again.) In some ways, poems and songs work really similarly, and I think it applies here as well: if you could really explain the whole poem in one sentence, or a few sentences, if you could accurately and concisely summarise exactly how it feels, then you wouldn’t really need the poem. My favourite poems (or songs) tend to be the ones that outline a really specific emotion via a few powerful images, but I couldn’t precisely tell you what the emotion is. Like, I know exactly what this thing is saying, I know this exact feeling, I GET-GET it, but don’t ask me to explain the thing, just READ the THING, and you’ll KNOW.

Mitski does this really well. Like, I couldn’t explain to you what Last Words Of A Shooting Star makes me feel, but it does. I can tell you that “I am relieved that I left my room tidy, they’ll think of me kindly when they come for my things” cuts through me like a hot blade but I can’t pinpoint exactly why and I don’t want to. All I know is she Gets It, and that I want her writing chops, goddamnit.

Or, like, look at Laura Gilpin’s Two-Headed Calf. Yeah, I’ve read that poem a hundred times and thought a lot about all the themes it’s presenting me with. But I have zero desire to explain those themes to you, because I’d kind of be robbing it of its magic. I don’t want to tell you what it’s about. I want you to read it and I want to simply sit with the knowledge that we know, we Get It, that “twice as many stars as usual” kicked you in the shins, emotionally speaking, as much as it did me.

Few words, max impact, is key.

In Mary Oliver’s words, we want something inexplicable made plain, not unlike a suddenly harmonic passage in an otherwise difficult and sometimes dissonantsymphony - even if it is only for the moment of hearing it.

I’m realising right now that leading with these shining examples and then following them up with my own thing is nerve-wracking. But I like to think that I accomplished something like that with a little poem I wrote called Basements.

It’s is based on the prompt “back to nature” and follows that, uhm, somewhat loosely, a little subverted. I think it’s about impermanence and nostalgia and the fact that the places we lived in continue to exist even when our lives in them don’t anymore. It’s about that and a lot of other things. Maybe. The truth is, I don’t want to explain it to you: I just want you to read it, and then I hope that it made you feel something, and I’m going to trust that you Get It. Maybe you don’t get the same things I did, but that’s great. I’d love nothing more.

Before it was all those things, it was a poem about my life. The neighbourhood with the yellow house across the graveyard that I spent nine mostly happy years in. (The house, not the graveyard.) Every single thing in there is true: my sister really bust her lip and we both cried; wild lilac really grew there; we did spend most of our summers catching tadpoles, and yes, that neighbourhood was a construction site from the first day we lived there to the very last.

And I really sat in the driver’s seat of the family car about a year ago and watched it from afar. I didn’t come up with that - it’s my life. I only went on a scavenger hunt through my own memories, through the places and records and mementos of my life, and arranged a few specific anecdotes in a way that would give them meaning.

It’s kind of what I’m proudest of when it comes to my poetry - that I get to just live my life and see the metaphor and the meaning and symbolism as I’m experiencing it. I sat in the car and I thought, huh, that’s definitely making me Feel A Thing right now, that I’m sitting in the driver’s seat looking at this place I haven’t really been to in years, my childhood home, where I don’t live anymore. That I drove here myself.

I think that, when done right, specific makes universal. If you arrange a kaleidoscope of memories in just the right way, what it’s making you feel will speak for itself, and you won’t have to explain it. Most people who’ve read “basements” probably didn’t spend countless summers playing in literal holes, originally dug out for basements that were never built because no one wanted to move there. Holes that then grew full of weeds and wild lilac and felt like miniature jungles right outside our parents’ houses. It was perfect, it was specifically mine, but the feeling behind it is universal, I think.

Like, that’s how half of Taylor Swift’s RED works. That’s how most good Taylor Swift songs work. That’s why the bridge in Out of the Woods is so good and why I love New Year’s Day so much and it’s EXACTLY why All Too Well is considered her best song by so many people. Because she zoomed in on the details of her life and let the world take a look. Because “we dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light” is a line in that song. THAT’s why it MAKES YOU FEEL THE THING.

Back to poems? This:

So we tell them all about the dayWe planned revolutions on my bedroom floor, or how we onceSpent an entire Monday lunch break making life plans over ice creamAnd most of our parties talking politics over beerWe both paid for ourselves.About the days you drive me to school. In your carI am the girl, front-seat passenger of our lives,Who does not need reach for the steering wheel –The road is alright. 

isn’t fiction. These are my memories, carefully selected and re-arranged for Politics at Parties Boy.

I didn’t make up these film stills of a non-romantic relationship that never became anything other than non-romantic because neither party ever made a move. What I did is look at my own life like it’s a piece of fiction. If these memories were a movie, you could pluck them apart and say, see, the screenwriters put this scene here to communicate that.

The truth is, I am the screenwriter and the protagonist and the actress and the director and the camerawoman. I looked at a teenage girl who refused to let her friend buy her a beer at a school party and decided “huh, I guess that tells us everything we need to know” because I was that girl. 

And I did pay for the beer, so we’d never move into “let me buy you a drink” territory. He was already driving me to school.

That’s my best lesson on poetry, really. I look at my life like it’s a piece of fiction and then I make it one. I put personal memories in poems meant to be read by other people, I overinterpret everything that happens to me, am literally constantly thinking about how to work every knock-back and struggle into my narrative arc and look for symbolism in anything from the date, the weather, and the colour of my front door. I watch myself in third person all the time and thus become my own muse. I’m the painter and the painting.

It’s a somewhat narcissistic and masturbatory approach to poetry, but as far as writing about your own life goes, it’s what works for me.

As far as writing about not yourself goes - well, I’m a narcissist and I’m bad at that, but I wrote a poem about the Mars rover Opportunity that shut down this February called Spirit shuts down and Opportunity feels no tremble, no ache. For stuff like that, if you don’t happen to be Struck TM by a lightning bolt of inspiration (which is the exception, not the rule), a good old-fashioned mind-map helps. I just let my robot grief go wild on the page for a bit and what I ended up writing about was death and the human condition and being a teenage girl, maybe.

I really enjoy taking two concepts/ideas and juxtaposing them, watching a theme unfold in the overlap. Like, it’s a poem about a robot AND about being a teenage girl and in between those two lies a poem about the futile attempts to teach a robot human emotion. Maybe.

It’s a poem about how my mum always cries at the airport and about me making my own happiness my priority and it kind of ends up being about my intense guilt of making my parents watch me change and grow and leave.

It’s about the night I wandered through a quiet street in Central London at 1 a.m. and realised that the city of my dreams sleeps like any other place, that people wake up early and make coffee and go to work and have bad days here. That it’s not all dream. It’s some people’s lives. But it’s also about watching another person sleep - the way someone’s face changes when they do.

In the middle lay a poem about finding a friend in a lover. Not the daydream, but my life.

Lastly, I can’t talk about my own poetry without talking about my darling poem 5 disasters. It’s my pride and joy. Like, you could kill me write now and I’d be like, it’s okay, I’ve written the poem I want to be remembered for and it’s this one. I wrote it in less than a day and every time I think about the fact that I wrote

I cravedsomething more violent than death, somethingviolent enough to bea beginningand for my life to be thousands of themI wantednothingto remainexcept the girl that sentthe disastersand survived -may this wasteland bewhere I find her.

… I lose my shit a little bit.

(5 disasters was a rarity in how quickly I wrote it. It often takes me weeks. Sometimes months. There’s poems I’ve been meaning to write for years now and I still haven’t found the words. Take your time.)

5 disasters is a lot of things, but within the context of the poetry collection it’s hopefully going to exist in one day, it serves as almost an instruction manual for metaphors: here, the floods and rainfalls are always change and the forest fires are always my highschool demons and my friends and how they look the same. The colour yellow is always referencing the same love. Basically, I like pinpointing my symbolisms and then crafting a poem around them. You end up creating something like an in-poem universe that you get to navigate like a fantasy novel. Like you’re telling a story about a natural disaster, but it’s all a metaphor, Hazel Grace.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. As I do.

I hope this serves as a starting point of sorts, anon. Most importantly, have fun, don’t concern yourself with all the rules too much. Experiment, be bold, read lots.

Again, if you’ve got any questions, I’d be thrilled to help. Thanks for the opportunity to toot my own horn to this outrageous degree, it’s been a blast.

#this is SO LONG i'm SO SORRY i was VERY EXCITED #jessie the writer #owl post #anon

[blapisblogs]

After that song ends and Corey Taylor gets a glimpse of something we’ll come back to later, we then cut to “young Corey Taylor” getting smacked and sassed by... Rob Scallon as the teacher? Yeah, Doug not only got Corey Taylor and his son Griff for this, he also brought in another musician. At least he got to contribute more to the music in this “review” than Corey Taylor did. Apparently he’s dating Tamara Chambers and that’s how he got involved with this (which makes the fact that Tamara’s here as one of his “students”... awkward at best), but judging by how desperately he’s tried to erase any mention of his involvement with this after the severe backlash it got, I’m guessing that he now regrets this. Anyway, hello, other Doug Walker regular Malcolm Ray. I have no clue who the other two “students” are, but I can only guess that they’re other regulars for Doug’s stuff. (Edit from the future: I think the other guy’s name is Walter? I know nothing about him except he works for Doug and I guess he likes Power Rangers.) All of them have high-pitched dubbed-in voices (I guess to make them sound younger in a “funny” way), and it’s really grating. Like... If you’ve read through my liveblogs about Sonic X, then you remember how I hated it whenever Bokkun said literally anything, right? Well it’s not quite as bad as him as far as the pitch goes, but it is just as annoying, if not even more so because there’s multiple people with high-pitched voices and the lyrics they get to sing in this part aren’t just annoying, they’re insulting.

Oh yeah, did I mention they sing for this next parody song?

If you know the album or the movie, you're probably already dreading this, and it's just as bad as you fear, maybe even worse. Yes, we’re at what’s probably the most popular song from The Wall: the BAFTA award-winning “Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)”. If you don’t know, that song is preceded by “The Happiest Days of Our Lives”, which is so connected with it that most of the time it’s considered part of “Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)” itself, as I’ve always heard it credited as part of that song on the radio. Doug does seem to know the difference though, as he notably does not parody the lyrics from “The Happiest Days of Our Lives”, which to me is a problem: that part is integral to knowing the story behind the song that follows it because it’s the part that talks about how the children in the school were abused by their teachers. Again, since Roger Waters based a lot of this off his own life and he grew up in a time where the teachers were legally allowed to physically and emotionally abuse their students, it’s pretty obvious that’s what the song’s about. Even without including “The Happiest Days of Our Lives”, Doug still parodied the scene where the teacher was humiliating young Pink in front of the entire class, reading his poems aloud and calling them “absolute rubbish” (though for this “review” it’s the teacher insulting Taylor’s musical taste in Pink Floyd, which is still shitty and psychologically damaging, and really upsets me as an autistic person who’s had their interests mocked multiple times). Despite all this, Doug claims Waters is just being a crybaby and exaggerating how bad his school life was when the abuse he suffered and the damage it caused him was real and very serious. You can say what you want about Waters’s ego, Doug, but making fun of someone for being abused, especially as a child, is a line that you should never cross.

It seems like Doug’s not satisfied enough with mocking what Roger Waters was talking about regarding his school life, though, because he goes as far as to mock all people who complain about school, dismissing detailed dissections of what’s wrong with today’s education system as “long-winded rants”. I’m convinced he didn’t actually read these “rants” he’s mocking, because there are serious problems with our education system. I could go into all the shitty things that I personally had to go through as an autistic kid, but you can find plenty of better, more detailed posts and articles talking about how fucked up America’s education system is today, to say nothing of what England’s school system was like in the 50′s (you know, the time period and experience Waters was clearly talking about with this), and this post is already long enough before I can even properly rip into this dreadful parody.

As the turd on top of this shit sundae, Doug Walker does a Dracula impression for part of the song because he’s saying that Roger Waters is calling all teachers “monsters” (yes, that’s literally the only reason). More specifically, it’s the Dracula played by Adam Sandler in the Hotel Transylvania franchise, where Sandler was already doing a weak impression of Bela Lugosi. Basically Doug’s doing an annoying, shitty impression of an already annoying, shitty impression.

Kill me.

[Lyrics (and snark) below the cut]

NC: We need more victimization (There are no good teachers! Not one! Not even by accident!) We need more stuff to rebel

[I know some people will complain about literally anything, but did you actually pay attention to what the album and film were saying? That teachers who abuse their students and try to quash their creativity and individuality is bad, something that Waters himself has clarified in interviews regarding the very song you’re parodying here? Do you not agree with that?]

(We don’t want to help you! We just want to eat your blood and suck your brains!) Though our education system’s broke (Wait, maybe it’s the other way around. I don’t know, I got a high school education! Muahahahaha!) This is pandering like hell

[You reviewed Norm of the North, Boss Baby, and the Emoji Movie despite none of those having ties to anything nostalgic (you even admitted as much in your review of the former), which was the entire point of the Nostalgia Critic. If that's not you pandering to your fanbase who just likes hearing you yell about bad movies, then I don’t know what is.]

(Remember that one teacher who seemed cool? He wasn’t! He was all part of the plan!) Hey! Who cares? All this bitching sells!

[Clearly it does considering your whole internet career is founded on that.]

(Remember that one teacher who seemed really kind and gave you candy?) Well oh well, we’ve got another hit in The Wall (That candy was really sugar-coated children's’ souls!) L-O-L, so school sucks. Grow a damn pair of balls.

[Okay, Boomer. You first. (Before anyone goes “well actually he’s not a Boomer”: I don’t care. This is such a Boomer message that a Boomer may as well be saying it.)]

(Children’s souls! We’re so evil! Muahahahaha!)

[I’m sorry for including all the evil laughing in this transcription, but it’s just as annoying to hear it, trust me.]

Bokkun “Child” chorus: Real cool visualizations (It’s all part of the plan so that you’re more likely to get a job when you’re older!) Milking your gloom and pity (Muahahahahaha! How terrible is that? Muahahahahaha! Muahahahaha!)

[Considering how schools in the way they operate now make students lose sleep, stresses them out over numbers that are assigned to tasks that have been forced upon them, and has been outdated for years since that’s not how most jobs work anymore... Yeah, it actually is terrible. You even said earlier that there are problems with our current education system, yet now you’re making fun of people who criticize it? Make up your mind.]

You hated school, who the hell didn’t? (It’s like those ‘90s commercials where the adults look like bad guys!) What’s next, hating DMVs? (Except they weren’t 90s commercials, they were really mini-documentaries! It’s all true! Muahahahaha!) Hey! Waters! Leave it on F-B!

[We get it already, Doug, you really hate Waters’s ego and the things he talks about in these songs. You’ve already talked about that in your previous parody, can you move onto something else about the movie that isn’t that? So far you’re making it sound like that’s the only thing worth talking about regarding this film.]

(We really don’t see what makes Cinnamon Toast Crunch so great!) All and all, complaining doesn’t mean much at all

[Well, at least you’re able to admit that your career means nothing.]

(Because we’re old! Muahahahaha!) But who cares, it’s still a damn cool song in The Wall (Bleh bleh bleh bleh, I’m a teacher, bleh bleh bleh bleh!)

[In case anyone was wondering why I said it was Adam Sandler’s shitty Bela Lugosi impression he was doing and not just a shitty Bela Lugosi impression, there you go. (For those who don’t get it: the “bleh bleh bleh” thing is a recurring “joke” in at least the first Hotel Transylvania. Yes, it’s as lame as it sounds.)]

We still need more persecutions (Muahahahahahaha! Ahehahahahahehe suck your blood, bleh!) (??) need to hear you (???) (Stabula!)

[I’m giving this my best shot, I really am, but... all I hear for that last set of question marks there is a really inappropriate c-word.]

What are you big boys to say school’s lame? Based on a long-winded rant?

[Hmm, posts and articles made by people who know what they’re talking about explaining how the American school system (since that’s what you’re basing this on rather than the one Waters wrote about) needs some serious retooling in order to cause less burnout, stress and trauma with literal children that can and will affect them in the short and long term when they grow up, or some internet jackass who gets paid for yelling at things and hasn’t been to a high school since at least the 90′s. Gee, I wonder whose opinion on that subject matters more in this situation. (That was sarcasm, by the way, for those who couldn’t tell.)]

Hey! Twitter! (???) bloody (???)!

[I’ve tried my best to figure out what they’re saying here, but this is one of the few times that I cannot actually tell no matter how hard I try, I’m sorry.

So anyway, the TL;DR version of what I think of what this parody song has to say about the original can be summed up in one Kermit gif:

...Why aren’t I watching The Great Muppet Caper instead?]

#Blapis tears down NC's The Wall #abuse mention // #child abuse mention // #long post #bold text warning #very long post #gif warning