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sup-hoes-its-me · 3 years

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Skinny Love II (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: second part to skinny love. This is all angst. Very sad. I just watched the pain arc again and had to write something about Kakashi and what happens. Im guessing this could be tagged for spoilers but Naruto is old soooo.

Word count: 5000

“I’m just saying, maybe the second novel is better than the first. You’re free to have your own opinion, that’s just what I think.”

“Well, you’re wrong.”

“Whatever you say,” Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes at the masked man sitting in front of her. She was sipping on a hot bowl of broth after coming home from her most recent mission. It was a nice day out, and she thought it would be a good idea to go out and get something to eat with her favorite shinobi. He was dangerously possessive over his romance novels, and felt immense embarrassment when Y/N decided to pick them up as well.

For a week after finishing the series, she mocked him for liking the gushy, mushy romance that lied on the pages, not to mention the more inappropriate chapters that left nothing to the imagination. Master Jiraiya wasn’t kidding when he said he was doing “research” at the bath house.

“We should go out more often,” he commented, “It’s nice to relax with all this Akatsuki business going on.”

“Definitely. We used to go out like this all the time before you started training those kids,” she hummed. It was true. They had normal outings at that point in time, as the only thing they did was go on missions and then chill at home until the next outing. After Naruto and Sasuke revealed their unique personalities, and got themselves into some sticky situations, the times changed and they spent much more time apart than before. “Not to mention going out with you gives me an excuse to eat whatever I want.”

He nodded in reply, his eyes trailing down to his novel once again which he was skimming over. She didn’t mind him reading at the table. What was he supposed to do? Eat? There was no way he would take off the mask. He was content just giving her company.

His reading gave Y/N an excuse to admire him. Her eyes would lift from the table every time he looked down at the pages, and she would take in all his features. She swore, he was one of the most handsome men she’d ever met, even with the mask. Without a mask, he probably resembled a god. It was nice to just watch as he relaxed into his novel, enjoying himself without any cares in the world.

She liked to talk to him even more. He always knew the right thing to say to make her feel important and wanted, even on her worst of days, he was there to make it better. He was brave and strong, but kind and gentle when need be. His soft words in the late nights they hung out, or his concern when she injured herself, or the happiness the times she made him laugh. Each moment meant so much more to her than he realized.

It was evident to everyone that she had an attachment to him. What kind exactly was the complicated part. While they had been friends for quite a long time, she felt like he was more than just a normal friend or even a best friend. He felt more like a partner than anything, whether it be partner-in-crime or partner-in-love. She loved him with every bone in her body, more than she loved her comrades or her friends, she cared for him like she would a lover.

Maybe it was because she was so shy that she couldn’t tell him how she felt after all this time. Maybe it was fear of rejection. Maybe it was fear of death. She wasn’t sure what held her back from confessing her love to him, spilling all those words she kept under lock and key. She wanted there to be something more, but he’d never let on that he cared for her that way, and surely he would have said something if he did feel that way. It just seemed impossible.

But not to the ordinary person.

People had mentioned in passing to Kakashi that he acted like a lovesick teenager when he was around the woman. She was just so perfect, how could he do anything but adore her. To him, she was one of the only people that truly mattered as more than a fellow shinobi or comrade.

There was no reason to rush it though. If she truly wanted a relationship with him, she would tell him eventually. He wasn’t one to go around throwing out love confessions first. He would wait until she was comfortable and ready. Until then, he would admire her from a distance, through friendly touches and smiles, and dreamy looks when the other wasn’t watching. To him, that was enough.

This lunch outing was the perfect time to waste some hours with her just talking and reading in the others company. The day almost felt too good to be true.

And it was.

First there was the explosion, followed by the screams. Oh, those screams would haunt Y/N’s dreams. Villagers who she’d known growing up screaming in pain. Quickly, she jumped to her feet as did the copy nin. Their eyes frantically looked through the doorway of the restaurant, but there wasn’t anything on their particular street, just dust from the explosion floating down in thick clouds.

“Someone’s attacked the village. Shit,” he cursed under her breath.

They would have to go out there and fight, they both knew that very well. Fight who, they didn’t know, but Y/N could sense that the same foreign chakra signature was coming at her from multiple directions in the village. That couldn’t be good. It was probably that Akatsuki member that everyone was talking about. Pain. Pain with the rinnegan. How could the leaf compete against something as strong as that dojutsu?

“Everybody out! You know the evacuation route,” Y/N called out to the civilians in the restaurant, as she swallowed her panic. She made a move to usher the people from the store so they could run in the direction of refuge.

This wasn’t a normal battle. These intruders were a completely different breed than the ones they were used to fighting. She could feel the impending doom start to blanket around her body, and she took a deep breath. How could this happen? Was Pain here to take Naruto? Naruto wasn’t even in the village, how could that be? Was it the Akatsuki making a big statement attacking one of the five great villages?

There was just something off. She could feel it. Today was going to be one of the worst days, worse than anything else they’d experienced.

“Y/N, let’s go.”

“Kakashi…” she trailed off, not taking a step forward just yet. Was there something she needed to get off her chest before they rushed into a battle with an outcome unknown? As she met his frantic, panicked eyes with her own, she wondered if she should just confess her feelings right then and there, just so he could know before they put their lives on the line.

Never in her life did she think that her or Kakashi might die. It was never a thought that crossed her mind. She assumed she had all the time in the world to gather the courage to tell him. Now it felt like she had run out of time, and they might never get the chance to see each other again. The chakra signatures around them were just too strong to guarantee they would live against their blows. It felt like this was her final chance.

She started again, “Kakashi, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” he asked, wanting to hurry this along. She could see plainly that this wasn’t the right time. He wasn’t in the right mind to hear her words, or comprehend the meaning behind them. Instead, she lowered her head and sighed.

And so she kept that secret tightly bound deep in her heart.

“Nevermind, it’s not important. Just be safe out there. Make it back to me in one piece, okay?”

“You know I can’t promise that,” he replied, and her heart sank in her chest. He was right. If he died, he died. If she died, she died. Nothing could stop fate from doing its dirty work.

“Just promise me. Give me some confidence before we jump into this mess. I-I can’t do this without you promising me you’ll live!” She cried, passion and fear dripping off her words. She had her eyes shut tightly at this point, just trying to keep herself from letting the potential tears gather in her eyes. Her fists clenched by her side as well. “Just say something!”

He nodded, thinking of the right words to say. “I promise I’ll make it back to you, Y/N. Now promise you’ll live. For me,” he demanded, lifting her head to face him. His fingers were strong against her cheek, firm when faced with danger. He wanted her to live, but knowing that Pain killed Jiraiya was enough to make him worry and plan for the worst.

Why was he even asking? He knew that words meant nothing. That most promises were just bound to be empty.

Just this one time, he prayed that she’d keep it.

“I promise.”

“Now let’s go. I’ll take this side, and you go that way. Sounds like explosions came from both directions.”

“Got it.”

There was no room for goodbyes.

After that, they went their separate ways. Y/N had to keep herself from losing control. Everything was going to be okay. She was worrying far too much. Kakashi was strong. Stronger than anyone else she knew really. He couldn’t be taken down by some terrorists. It wasn’t an option.

As long as she could sense his chakra lingering in the distance, she would know.

__________

It was painful, the wound that tore through her thigh. Blood dripped thickly from the cut, but she continued to fight. In this situation, there was nothing else to do, nothing more to fight for than the safety of the village and the people within it. Y/N has never seen a villain this bad, someone so dead set on killing and tormenting that it brought the shinobi of the village to their knees. Yet, here he was, this orange haired creature who popped up at multiple points of their city, each with a different signature move yet a similar chakra pattern.

Y/N knew she couldn’t break down just yet, not after seeing comrade after comrade fall to the ground and lose their lives to the cause. She had to keep going for them. For her friends and her family who died. She was never the most talented at fighting, she was more of a sensory type, stay on the inside and study type of kunoichi. But not today. No one had that luxury today.

Constantly, she could feel the loss of the ninja alongside her, their chakra signatures melting into nothing as blasts continued to ravage their village. The fire within their bodies burned for the last time, disappearing into the ashes.

It wasn’t until she was on her knees, face buried in the dirt and rubble did she really feel the pain this man was so desperate to bestow upon the villagers. Kakashi’s chakra had burned out. It was as if her body gave up after that. She couldn’t move, her bones were broken and she couldn’t afford to stand and fall back down once again, believe it that she tried over and over again. Nothing mattered at this point. How could it? She couldn’t feel her best friend’s chakra signature any longer. He was dead.

Her crying into the dirt was the only thing that signalled another shinobi to come and help her to the infirmary. Someone she barely knew had picked her up by the arm and hoisted it over his shoulder, dragging her by his side to the hospital where the medical nin were no doubt working harder than ever. Her whole body felt like it was caked in bloody crimson mud, dust up her nose and muk between her teeth.

Everything just made her cry harder and harder until she felt she was gasping to breathe.

The harsh lights in the building did nothing but sting her eyes, and the dozens of medical nin rushing around those lying on the floor overwhelmed her.

Sakura stood at the front of all the mess, and her eyes immediately caught onto Y/N and her rescuer. “Y/N-sensei, what happened to you?” she cried, rushing over with her frantic hands hovering over the state of the broken woman as she scanned for the wounds. This only caused more sobbing.

“One second she was fine, the next she was lying in the dirt screaming. I don’t know,” the man said, handing her off to the pink haired girl. “She’s got broken legs, I know that.”

“Thank you for bringing her,” she mumbled as she brought her sensei over to an empty cot, sitting her down on the cloth and beginning the healing process on the worst part of her leg where the bone was exposed. She was shaking so badly it was almost hard to concentrate on her work. She’d never seen Y/N so hopeless and lost. She was strong, she never faltered in the face of danger. It worried Sakura, no doubt.

“Sensei, what happened?”

“It’s Kakashi,” the woman croaked between her harsh breaths. “I-I can’t feel his chakra anymore.” Tears ran down her cheeks furiously, dripping from her chin into her lap. She felt the hopelessness overtake her entire person, the only thing left being complete and utter fear. Her chest heaved, desperate for the next gulp of air into her lungs.

Sakura nearly faltered at the words. Kakashi sensei, dead? How could that be? He was one of the strongest shinobi they knew. He would never fall victim to a villain, would he? From the sounds of Y/N’s heartbroken cries, the medical nin knew that it was over. That another life had been stolen from them.

Kakashi was Y/N’s heart and soul. She loved him for years and planned to love him for many more. Everyone knew that. Kakashi and her may have never acknowledged their feelings before his death, but the skinny love lingered in the air every time they were around each other.

The longing looks when they passed each other in the street. The pain they felt when the other was hurt. The smiles they shared when something good happened in their no-good shinobi lives. They were more than willing to lay their lives on the line for the other, more than just a comrade, more than a friend.

Her passion for Kakashi was the only good thing she had to come home to after missions. His face was the one thing she wanted to see after a bad day. His stupid face as he read his perverted novels, that grin that she positively adored.

All of that was gone, and her heart couldn’t take it. The pain from her injuries sat in the back of her mind, the only thing she could focus on was the loss. Knowing she would never see him again, never hear his voice. If only she could hear him laugh one more time. It was impossible, but she wished to the heavens above for mercy.

Sadly, no one was there to listen.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Sakura whispered, not knowing what else to say. What could she say?

“I need him. I can’t do this without him,” she sobbed, her hands shaking by her side, having to clench her fists just to stop the tremors. “Sakura, it’s been 15 years. I...I don’t know a life without him.”

Her heart broke at the words. It was true. She didn’t know life anymore without Kakashi. They’d been friends and comrades for so long that it seemed like that was all she knew. How can you come back from that? Sakura didn’t know. She might be able to heal the woman’s legs, but there was no way she could begin to heal such a broken heart.

“It’s okay. You have plenty of others. You have Gai and Kurenai and-”

“Fuck everyone else. You know they can’t replace him,” she snapped. “No one can replace him.”

Sakura could only nod solemnly. They could lie all day and pretend that Gai would somehow swoop in and make up for that gaping hole in her heart. They could lie and say that Kurenai and her child would fill Y/N with a happiness she felt with Kakashi. Yes, they could certainly lie about it all.

At the end of the day though, her pain would be unrivalled. Losing the one man you’ve loved from the moon and back. It would take an entire army and then some to combat such a struggle.

When Sakura was done healing the woman, she handed her a roll of bandages from her pocket. “I’ve got to tend to others. Wrap this around your calf and then stay here to rest. Please, just rest yourself, sensei. You’ll heal faster that way.” Y/N took the bandages and nodded her head weakly, shaky hands going to wrap her bare and burned calf with the medical bandages.

Her mind still centered around Kakashi. She found herself curling up into a ball on the little bench she was sat at, hugging her knees close to her chest. She just cried. Right now, she couldn’t do anything else.

Just cry.

________

The village was in complete and utter ruin. Y/N lay painfully utop a mountain of rubble, blood oozing from the back of her head and from her already injured leg. Pain’s final attack, one that completely demolished the village...it spared her life.

How could things get any fucking worse?

She felt like the Gods were being especially cruel to her on this day. Especially cruel to every single person in the village, but they kept Y/N alive for their own personal amusement, laughing at her loss and her pain and her frustration.

Despite Lady Tsunade sending out Katsuyu to protect the villagers, Y/N only seemed to be in worse shape than before. She could feel the slug on her shoulder slowly healing her, but it wasn’t much compared to the pain and the numerous injuries.

Y/N rolled onto her side and groaned, pain shooting up her spine and giving her a brain-shattering headache. When she went to cough on something thick and slimy in her throat, what splattered on the ground was red. Maybe she was just meant to die slow and painfully.

It was better this way, she decided. Nothing could make this day worth it. Nothing. The pain was unbearable.

“Y/N? Is that you?” a feminine voice called from a little while away, and the woman cursed, spitting up more blood as she did so. Sakura climbed through some of the rubble to approach her. Her hands hovered over the woman’s broken body, scanning over all her wounds.

Naruto was down there fighting Pain. Everything was going to be okay as long as they had faith in the Uzumaki. Sakura could focus a bit of her energy on healing her sensei. There was nothing else to do except watch the fight below them, in the center of the wasteland that used to be the Hidden Leaf.

She began the healing process, medical chakra flowing into the woman’s chest wounds, the most critical of all. “Sakura…”

“What is it, Y/N?”

“What’s happening? Is everyone dead?”

“No, everyone is alive. Lady Tsunade sent out Katsuyu to protect everyone. It seems that you were injured before your healing slug could get to you. Thankfully, you have both of us to fix you up,” she muttered. Y/N would have been blind to not notice the way Sakura stared past her deeper into the wreckage as she spoke.

“What do you see?” she asked quietly, as loud as her body could muster.

“It’s Naruto. He’s out there fighting Pain alone,” she said, “He-he’s gotten so much stronger.”

The older woman smiled through her pain, shutting her eyes and letting a soft sigh leave her lips. She hadn’t anticipated Naruto to come saving the day, in fact, it seemed more likely that Pain would kill everyone and leave the village in ruin. Fortunately, Kakashi’s student, the one that people had underestimated for so long, was out there doing what the rest of them couldn’t.

A hero. No matter if he won or not, these are the actions of a hero.

“It’s his destiny: to save this village,” she whispered. “Jiraiya once said so.”

“Let’s hope he was right.”

Together they lay there in the middle of ruin while Naruto battled Pain. They watched as the two men launched themselves away from the village into the woods, the nine tailed fox coming to life far away from where they huddled together. The village was safe from direct harm at this point and the two women let down their guard just a little bit. Down in the middle of the pit some of the students started to gather, including a heavily injured Hinata.

“Help me down there, Sakura. I need to see Gai,” she said, louder than before. After all that time healing, she found herself strong enough to prop up on her elbows and gaze into the destruction.

Once down there, Sakura was quick to start healing Hinata, fearing that the girl had taken too much damage to handle. After all, she charged against Pain, the supposedly leader of this terrorist attack. All of that to help out young Naruto. Y/N felt like she was staring at an image of herself for a moment. A young woman ready to sacrifice it all for the sake of the man she loved.

As her eyes moved around the area, she caught onto the bright green outfit of her long time friend. His eyes caught hers for a moment and quickly, he rushed over to her side. She collapsed onto her knees, wincing at the pain that ran through her body as she did so. She found herself still a bit too weak to stand.

“Y/N, you’re alive,” he gasped. He knelt on the ground beside her and placed a firm hand on her shoulder, steadying her shaky form. “Your injuries-”

“Forget about that, Gai,” she mumbled. “Something terrible has happened.” He couldn’t imagine what she had to say could be any worse than the destruction of the entire village. But he nodded and sat there listening as she spoke her words carefully, painfully with each syllable that left her lips. “Kakashi is dead.”

He felt his heart drop in his chest. As he looked at the woman before him, he knew that she wanted nothing more to cry, yet there were no tears. He assumed that she had already cried her fill earlier and could only mourn at this point. He didn’t ask before wrapping her smaller form up in his arms and tugging her to his chest, burying his nose in her hair. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his shoulder, dry sobs causing her entire form to quiver.

In a moment like this one, he just remained still for her. Sit there and be there through this pain. He felt crushed at the thought of his best friend dead, his eternal rival somewhere out there in all that rubble fatally injured. Gai had lost a brother that day, and Y/N had lost her one and only lover.

He listened as she hopelessly bawled in the comfort of his arms, feeling every bit of her pain sink into his form. They had gone through battles together before, they grew up teammates and friends, how could they not. They had seen death and pain all their lives. This was on another level, incomprehensible to either of them.

Pure misery. Every emotion seemed to burn in her chest. She wanted to curl up and die herself.

________

It felt like hours went by before the lives were returned. She hadn’t thought much of it when the elderly Toad woke up from his eternal slumber. For a moment, she thought it was just a fluke. That he had never really died in the first place, they just thought he did. But then, she watched as people above the trench started to stand from their resting places on the ground and in the rubble.

That is when she realized that somehow, someway, the lives lost during this terrible battle had been reclaimed. It was only a matter of time before she found out if Kakashi had come back to life as well. She sat there, focusing all her energy into sensing nearby chakra, sorting through hundreds of people for the one she wanted.

Gai had left to help out some of the others, so she just sat there waiting. Waiting for Kakashi to come back to her. Just like he promised.

After all this chaos, she couldn’t imagine keeping her love a secret from him any longer. He needed to know. She wouldn’t let this opportunity go wasted. Y/N was given a second chance at finding love in her friend, and she would be damned if she let that go to waste.

After a while, she began to feel his chakra. At first it was very faint, like he was a mile away hidden underneath rocks and everything else you could imagine. But then it got stronger.

He was alive.

When she saw his form climb down into the pit with the rest of them, his mask torn and only the bottom layer of his clothes still intact, she nearly cried once again. For hours before this, she was prepared to never see him alive again, never see that masked face look down upon hers once more. She had mourned the loss of Kakashi Hatake, only for him to be returned.

It was as if the God’s had listened to her prayers.

“Kakashi!” she exclaimed as she struggled to get herself up from the ground. She knelt on one knee, pushing herself up with the other, desperate to walk over to him. Her body failed her of course, and she fell back onto her butt. He noticed her though, her tiny figure in the crowd of hundreds. She was the one person he wanted to find all along.

He fell onto his knees beside her, his hands coming up to grasp her cheeks with his dusty, calloused hands. She relaxed into his rough fingers, sinking into the warmth that he was sharing. His thumbs slid along her lips and chin, trying to rub away the dirt that was caked in some places. She was a mess, messier than he was. He could only imagine the suffering that she went through as well, to have survived all of that without death as a retreat in the middle.

“Y/N, what happened to you?”

“Pain’s final blow caused some pretty bad wounds, but it’s fine. Sakura healed me enough that I’ll make it through,” she told him. Softly, she lifted her hands to place them over top his, her fingers slowly wrapping around his. “Kakashi, you broke your promise to me.”

“I know.”

She found that the words came out faster than she anticipated. Emotions and feelings being laid out in the open for him to see/ “I-I completely lost myself when I couldn’t feel your chakra anymore. I thought I’d lost you. I couldn’t stop crying, and I was angry at you for breaking your promise to me,” she rambled, “I didn’t know what I was gonna do without you.”

“It’s alright. I’m here now. Whatever Naruto has done saved my life,” he soothed, letting their hands fall into her lap. She wouldn’t let go of his hands even if he wanted them to himself. She was afraid. Afraid that if she let him go once more that he would be gone forever. “And I’m sorry I lied to you. I really shouldn’t have died like that. So irresponsible of me.”

There he was cracking a fucking joke about his own death. She wanted to smack him for being so dimwitted in a moment of vulnerability. Just the thought of being with him again made tears spring up in her eyes, and she shut her eyes to keep them from falling. Happy tears or not, she wasn’t going to cry again.

“I need to tell you what I was too afraid to say before. What I wanted to say before we went our separate ways,” she confessed, her breaths coming out harsh and rushed. Once again, she gripped his hands tighter in hers.

After taking a couple breaths, she lifted her eyes to meet his, mouth just agape. He really was all she could ever need. This moment wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t ideal, but it was just right for what she needed to say. “I’ve always loved you, Kakashi.”

“Y/N-”

“Listen, I know it’s not exactly an appropriate time to be confessing my love to you and all, but I couldn’t risk another day going by without telling you.”

“I love you, too.”

And silence.

There wasn’t anything else to say. The love was mutual, it had been all this time. They just took their time getting around to admitting it, to just hear those words leave the other’s lips for the first time. There were no butterflies in her stomach nor did her heart race in her chest at his confession.

She could only feel comfort in the umbrella they’d created for themselves, the outside world lost to the both of them.

In a flash, she lurched forward to wrap her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face deep into his neck. “Don’t die ever again, Hatake, or I’ll kick your ass,” she laughed, the sound of her laugh reaching his ear. He held her to his chest and sighed.

“No promises.”

Despite what happened that day, he felt comfortable. For the first time, in a very long time, he felt relief wash over him. Everything was going to be okay.

“Kakashi!”

Requests Are Open!

#kakashi x reader #kakashi imagine #kakashi oneshot #kakashi hatake #kakashi hatake x reader #naruto x reader #naruto one shot #naruto imagines #naruto #naruto shippuden #one shot #x reader #writing #hope you guys like this one ill be back with either a new kakashi fic or a shikamaru fic soon

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jaggedlittleteacup · 3 years

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Reverse, esreveR

Tw: S*ic*de Attempt, Dr*g Abuse

Sherlock Holmes was an arsehole. He knew that he was, he felt it- deep inside, a sort of gut emotion that clenched and twisted and made him feel all the more wretched. He really couldn’t control it at this point. It was a habit that had formed from years of keeping every awful thing that had happened to him pent up in his mind. So many years of abuse, so many bruises and scars, and so, so much hurt that left no marks on anywhere but the mind. He knew it was wrong to take it out on those he loved- and even those he didn’t- but it kept resurfacing in the forms of snide comments and manic volatility.

It started one quiet night at Baker Street. It was nothing much, a snappish comment too far, perhaps? Whatever it was, it was the last straw for a livid John Watson, who stood up and kicked over the coffee table in fury. Words bounced off of Sherlock, who heard without listening. Eyes closed, chest feeling empty, Sherlock felt John’s innate rage. Until he didn’t.

When Sherlock opened a single eye, he saw John holding a small box that had been concealed under the table. Sherlock heard a roar in his ears, he could hardly breathe, he was crushed by an overwhelming feeling of guilt- it all just hurt.

John’s steady fingers brushed over the syringe that the box contained. The flat was silent, except for the pounding of Sherlock’s heart- or was he the only one who could hear that?

Glass shattered at his feet. John was yelling, now. Sherlock was pretending to listen.

Sociopath. Liar. Machine.

John was saying those words as if they held no value to Sherlock. Of course, that had been the impression Sherlock had made, so why wouldn’t he say those things?

Sherlock was used to feeling hopeless, but this? This was it. This was all he could take and more. And worst of all? It was cowardly, and Sherlock couldn’t even have the decency to properly listen to John.

Possibly in the middle of John’s sentence, he stood up and mumbled some sort of excuse- that he had to use the loo, maybe? He wasn’t sure.

Dazed, Sherlock walked to the loo and left John alone in the living room. Thoughts were rushing through his head. He couldn’t take this. Not anymore.

He clicked the lock and slid down the door onto the cold, hard tile floor. His hands were shaking, his vision blurry with held-back tears. He didn’t want to do this. Yes, he did. No, he didn’t. Of course he did. Why wouldn’t he?

Trembling fingers pulled open the medicine cabinet. They pulled out a bottle of painkillers. They opened the cap. They poured precisely ten in Sherlock’s other hand.

Ten, because Sherlock had measured the dosage during a particularly bad night. He knew that each pill had 500mg of acetaminophen in them. Over 5000 in one go would certainly kill a man. It had to.

Shaking, crying- although he didn’t realise it, and he never would have admitted it otherwise- Sherlock popped a pill into his mouth one at a time. It was hard to swallow. His throat was rejecting it, so each pill took longer to take. He was shaking his head, not wanting to finish, but knowing he had already taken at least six.

After number ten, Sherlock broke. The tears came freely, now. He mumbled a shattered apology to his mum and dad, to Mycroft, even, and most definitely to John, whom he didn’t want to leave.

With each whispered name, Sherlock popped another pill between his lips. Now he had taken…what, fourteen? Fifteen? He didn’t really care, even though he did. A small part of him was screaming for someone to care, to stop him, to save him- but to no avail.

After a few choked-out sobs, Sherlock regained some of his composure. He wiped his eyes, which were shamefully red, and stood up. He was going to go about this bravely. The toxic shock wouldn’t kick in for at least a few hours, and by then, he would be asleep. A peaceful death. An easy one.

Sherlock unlocked the door and walked back out to the living room, where John was pacing furiously. He looked pale and frightened.

John must have asked something along the lines of “what did you take?” in a worried tone of voice, but Sherlock shook his head. He probably told him that he took nothing. John still looked concerned. He asked him again. Still, Sherlock shook his head. He felt guilty for lying to John.

John relaxed. He nodded, he sat down. He offered Sherlock dinner, but Sherlock politely refused.

Sherlock lied about something or other and said he had a stomachache, that he wanted to go to bed. John reluctantly allowed him to.

At approximately nine o’clock, Sherlock laid down in bed and wrote a short note in his pocketbook. It told whom he wanted his things left to, even though he knew it wasn’t entirely legal. He trusted Mycroft to sort all that out.

His stomach was already starting to ache. He needed to fall asleep.

And so he did, praying that he would never wake up.

Unfortunately, life was decidedly quite cruel.

By the time the clock read midnight, Sherlock realised he had made a terrible mistake. He woke up gasping for breath as his stomach burned. His face felt hot, and his head was pounding. It was as though his insides were tearing themselves apart.

Dazed, he tried to move, but instead fell out of his bed and hit the floor with a groan. Sherlock was so weak that he could not find the strength to move. He threw up, even though he didn’t want to. It meant that the drugs might not work. Mind racing, chest heaving in mild panic, Sherlock wondered if this was how he would die- suffocating on his own vomit and in horrible agony.

Spirits broken, Sherlock whispered John’s name. It hurt too much. He needed John to save him, or else he was going to die.

Sherlock kept whispering it- his lungs wouldn’t allow him to speak up. But John was already upstairs. He couldn’t hear him. Maybe Sherlock didn’t want him to.

He choked out something along the lines of “I don’t want to die”, but slowly, agonisingly, his eyes closed and he faded into unconsciousness.

You could imagine his surprise when he woke up the next morning, every inch of his body aching. His chest burned, and he kept needing to throw up every few minutes, but he was unmistakably alive.

And in some of the worst pain of his life.

He staggered to his feet and made his way to the loo. He threw up again.

For a brief moment, he felt better. He dreaded another racking dry heave that would take hold of his body.

No dice.

After typing a few things onto his laptop- perhaps updating his website with a few unintelligible entries about the side effects of acetaminophen overdose- he went back to the loo and threw up. He hadn’t eaten anything, so it was just stomach acid that burned his oesophagus and made him nauseous. The pain was growing steadily worse, and John wasn’t even awake yet.

For the next hour, Sherlock allowed the poison to simmer in his body, silently attacking his liver and slowly killing him.

John eventually woke up. Of course he did.

When he saw Sherlock’s pale face, he said nothing. When Sherlock nearly tripped down the steps in delirium, John was concerned, but said nothing.

When Sherlock’s knees buckled beneath him, he said something.

What did you take?

Sherlock slurred a half-hearted response, his head aching and his stomach twisting itself inside out. He felt like he was dying. It was probably because his organs were failing.

He clung onto the banister of the staircase as John desperately shook his shoulders. He couldn’t breathe. His brain was shutting down but his eyes and ears still worked. Everything hurt.

Sherlock saw John pull out his mobile and dial Mrs. Hudson’s number before swearing and pulling him outside.

Sherlock faded in and out of consciousness.

He was in a car.

Then a waiting room.

Then an urgent care.

Disappointed, disapproving, and endlessly pitying. Nobody would stop staring.

A nurse said he would be out of their care the same day.

His liver began to fail.

And then he was in an ambulance. He made a hazily rude comment to the EMT.

They stuck a needle in his arm. They did it wrong. It hurt like hell.

I’m clean, he wanted to tell them. Saying he didn’t do drugs anymore would be a flat-out lie.

They put him in a hospital.

His liver reached critical condition. The levels of acetaminophen in his bloodstream were lethal, yet he was somehow still alive. (It would be a case study for months and months to come.)

Sherlock was in the worst pain of his life.

They gave him morphine.

John sat by his bed during the entire ordeal.

He didn’t say a thing.

He didn’t know what to say.

Sherlock almost died.

John looked like he’d aged many years.

Sherlock felt regret.

John held his hand.

Sherlock wished he could turn back time.

John did, too.

༺═──────────────═༻

(Author’s Note: Based on a true story, sad enough to say. It’s sort of my way of giving past experiences a bit of closure. Imbuing writing with pain and anguish is rather cathartic. To tell you the truth, the fact that I’m alive now puzzles doctors and professionals alike. A case study was written on me. I am one of only eleven cases to have ever survived several doses of acetaminophen- enough to kill multiple grown men- at the age of twelve. I’m an anomaly and the fact that I’m here today writing this only proves how strange I am. I can’t say I’m better now. But I’ve learned my lesson. I’m sorry if it was so intense. If you or a loved one are having suicidal thoughts, please tell someone. Don’t make my mistake. And please, for the love of God, if you’re considering it, don’t kill yourself. It would be the biggest and final mistake of your life. People care about you so much. Much love, - AE.)

#sherlock #bbc #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #benedict cumberbatch #post reichenbach #angst #sad ending #ambiguous ending #angsty #based on a true story #jalexandria #writing #fics #fanfiction #tw suicide i guess?#drug addiction #writing angst to make people suffer

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miikewheelers · 3 years

Text

so please excuse me but i had a rather tragic thought about lucifer earlier today (tw for terminal illness/death under the cut. ALSO THIS IS 100% A HEADCANON PLS DON’T @ ME THANKS)

lucifer is at least 5000 years old; i believe it says so in the game? so he’s probably had many lovers of many different genders. however, he did end up meeting one female demon at a gala at diavolo’s castle once, and they kept seeing each other the whole event, but nothing more than passing each other or glancing at each other while getting food or a drink. however, when the night ended, lucifer found himself alone on diavolo’s balcony looking over the entirety of the kingdom, and the demon followed him up there, meeting him alone there, and they talked together like old friends; somehow it felt natural to lucifer.

this demon in question was called adina, and she was the daughter of close family friends of barbatos’. she had a very humanoid appearance and usually dressed very formally (which was very much to lucifer’s taste); her hair was a wavy dirty blonde and light brown eyes. they decided to go out together, and over the course of several years, they found love within each other and decided to hit it off.

however, it had only been fifteen years before adina developed a cough that only seemed to get worse over time. there was a bronchial disorder that ran in her family, so she figured it was just something related to that. turns out it was actually much worse: she had something very similar to cancer (or the devildom equivalent); it was a particular condition that couldn’t be cured, and may end up killing her.

the horrible news weighed on the minds of both of them. there were many tears, many anxiety attacks, many heated moments. but lucifer never left adina’s side. in fact, she always seemed so positive, and had such an attractive mojo to her behavior that made lucifer fall even more in love with her every time she complimented her friends or talked casually like this wasn’t an issue at all for her.

it didn’t seem like she was afraid of dying. and that was what impressed lucifer the most.

in fact, a month or so after the diagnosis, adina asked lucifer to marry her. he was in shock at first, and he couldn’t help himself but ask if she was only asking because she knew she didn’t have a lot of time left. she only shrugged; “maybe,” she said. “i just love you, and i know that i want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

lucifer knew deep down that she left out a part of the sentence, but he accepted her offer anyway. they planned the wedding sometime in the next three months.

but adina’s health took a turn for the worst. just nights after the proposal, adina couldn’t wake up in the morning, and her oxygen levels were really low, despite being hooked up to a machine while she slept. she spent the next few days in the hospital recovering, and the doctor revealed the heartbreaking news that the condition had spread rapidly over time, and she may only have a couple more weeks left.

after hearing the news, lucifer excused himself to a single bathroom across the hall and cried. he cried until he could practically feel his body running low on fluids, every last drop of water draining from his eyes. in his frenzy, he felt the urge to call mammon.

“mammon, i need you,” he whispered into the phone, his voice barely audible.

“what, what’s happening?!” his brother’s voice was panicked; lucifer knew he got the sense that it was because something bad had happened to adina.

“it’s adina, at the hospital...” then his voice suddenly ripped from his throat, and he barely realized he was shouting at his brother. “I NEED YOU HERE NOW! PLEASE, COME NOW!”

all six of his brothers came to the hospital to check in on him and see how adina was doing. she was able to talk, and she seemed to be functioning all right on the outside, but everyone knew she was not well on the inside.

however, the next few days, she showed some improvement. so much so that the hospital decided to release her. relieved, lucifer finally felt comfortable enough to call diavolo and see if he could get the wedding rescheduled to an earlier date, sometime that weekend. the prince agreed, and the ceremony was scheduled that friday afternoon.

adina did well the whole rest of that week, and was very much alive and well to attend her wedding. she and lucifer’s wedding. lucifer never dreamed of becoming married, but he wouldn’t want anyone else by his side to call his wife. they accepted the vows, and they proudly claimed each other their spouse.

everything changed four nights later. adina woke up struggling to breathe in the middle of the night, and lucifer, alerted by her rather loud, high-pitched wheezing, called the hospital right away. she was rushed there and put on some of the most powerful equipment in the entire building. lucifer braced himself for some of the worst news he would ever receive. deep in his heart, he knew that she had reached the end, but he still wasn’t ready to give up on her. the beautiful adina, his wife. the person he loved more than anything in the world.

the doctor informed both of their families that she was nearing her end. he had given her two weeks before, but the time was slowly running out, slipping between their fingers. there wasn’t much anyone could do for her now. not the doctors, not her family nor her husband and brothers-in-law. they had to spend their last moments with her in this little hospital room, as well as prepare the space for the worst.

she showed no sign of improvement the following two days. she was alive, but barely. that following friday, exactly a week after the wedding ceremony, lucifer was there by her side, like he had been nearly every moment of the days since she was admitted. he could see the life slipping from her face, her light brown eyes barely open, but she managed to squeeze his hand with whatever strength she had left. he desperately tried not to cry when he stood up to press a long, deep kiss to her forehead, stroking her head and whispering things along the lines of “i love you so much” and “i’m so sorry this has to happen to you.” when he pulled away, he whispered “i love you” again, and, with the last bit of strength she had, she murmured, “i love you too.”

those were the last words adina spoke. she peacefully passed away that afternoon, her husband by her side.

the aftermath was horrendous and awful. lucifer had tried to keep his emotions at bay around his brothers, but he just couldn’t this time. he had just lost his wife, for god’s sake; how was he supposed to cope with that? he didn’t care about his image in this moment. he let himself cry long and hard, allowing the warm embraces of mammon and asmo to scoop him up and cradle his head and shoulders like he was a child again. his brothers were there for him when he lost the thing the most near and dear to his heart, but even as the oldest, he didn’t have the strength or energy to protect them. adina was the only thing on his mind. and the cruelty of fate had snatched her from the world. snatcher her away from him.

lucifer couldn’t love the same way again after that. adina was too important to him. he didn’t feel like he should end up with anyone else; he didn’t want to feel what he felt with adina with anyone else. he thinks about her every day and misses her beyond what any word can describe, and he would give absolutely anything to have her back by his side again. until he met mc, who taught him how to love again. perhaps not in the same way, but he learned not to be so scared anymore. he can’t appreciate or thank them enough for all they’ve done for him and his brothers.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me headcanons #om headcanons #headcanons #lucifer #noah rambles #OMG THIS WAS SO ANGSTY WAAA #I WANTED TO GET THIS THOUGHT OFF MY CHEST BC I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT SO MUCH #AGAIN THIS IS 100% A HEADCANON NO HATE PLS 😭

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yandere-ac · 4 years

Note

Hey buddy, do you know a channel named Etce? It's a guy that makes gameplays of Animal Crossing, and his favorite is Maple. It's so funny how he sounds low-key like a yandere for her, with made me imagine what it would be if we, the darlings were villagers, and maybe the yandere villagers played the role of humans trying desperately to cage us in their islands lol (like Audie being human and trying to take you with her) sorry, it's just so shitpost idea I hoped it made you laugh a bit tho :D

Yandere Human Audie x Villager Reader x Yandere Human Raymond

Rescue me

Another day in hell. That’s pretty much how life was for you nowadays. Each day you wished it would be your last and everyday just got worse and worse. Even if you wanted it all to end, you couldn’t. But let’s start from the beginning shall we? Your name is Y/N. You are a F/A villager who, unbeknownst to you, was a REALLY popular villager. People had online groups talking about just how badly they wanted you, people drew tons of art of you, some really cute, other a bit...questionable. Some people were even selling you for millions of bells. Of course, it all started small. So when a moderately big group of people on the internet started to talk about how cute you were and how they wanted you, you didn’t put much thought into it. You were very flattered at their compliments and left it at that.

However, once it came out that you would be signing up for the nook inc island getaway package, all hell broke loose. It was the day before the move when you decided that, why not check out the little fan group you had. As much as you hated to admit it, you did get a small boost in confidence from all the nice people who seemingly liked you. And right now you were pretty nervous about the whole move. So you quickly typed in your name into your phone and searched up. Your eyes widened at what you saw once you hit search.

947 619 results in 0,8921 seconds. What the hell?! Why did your name have so many results?! This...this had to be some weird coincidence, I mean, maybe you just shared a name with a popular actor who just blew up. Yeah that’s probably it. But all rational thought left you head once you saw that the little group was now the top result, and the little group wasn’t so little anymore. No, quite the opposite. It had gone from maybe about 5000 people to around 230 000 people. Each and every one of them, praising you, talking about how much they loved you. Some of them even wrote out detailed descriptions of what they would do with you if they found you, things that made your face flush scarlet red, why in the world would someone write that?! What reason did they have?! You felt disgust and discomfort flow throughout your body. Now feeling even worse than how you felt before! Should you even move?! What if you encountered one of these weirdos?!

Yet, you still went. You couldn’t exactly cancel your flight now could you? You’ve already sold your home and you couldn’t buy it back. You just hoped that you didn’t get paired up with a crazy person. And still, it would seem like luck wasn’t on your side.

Knock knock knock

Oh god.

“Y/N! Good morning my sweetheart!” And so, it began. You turned to look at the human in front of you, trying to push down your instincts to whimper and tremble. You had found it easier when she believed you weren’t horrified of her. Last time you shook in her presence she came very close to you and asked what was wrong. When you told her she was scaring you she simply picked you up and carried you to her house. There she spent the next 3 hours spooning and cuddling you, whispering various things in your ears all while you quivered in her arms, terrified of what she would do. Who was this woman? Why it was the island representative, Audie. The girl had long orange hair that went down to her waist and blonde bangs. On her head rested a pair of white sunglasses with purple glass, she never really used them for sun protection so you guessed it was for the aesthetic. She had yellow eyeshadow and winged eyeliner, bringing out her intense blue eyes. Eyes that would strike fear and dread throughout your entire body once they made contact with yours. She was wearing the same tropical muumuu that she always wore. Audie was looking at you with a big smile on her face. You would be lying if you didn’t say that she was a very beautiful girl. But all that beauty was overshadowed by a possessive and clingy nature. She was crazy, she saw you as hers and would make sure you belonged to her and her only. She seemed normal enough when you, her and a third islander moved to the island together. A little strange but still very bubbly and happy to be around you. You probably should’ve realised that she was one of your fans sooner than you did.

She would get annoyed when you hung out with the other resident, Kevin, a yellow bird. Soon you started to see her hitting him with a net, telling him to get out of the island along with other horrible things. And you realised that the more you tried to comfort and hang out with him the more Audie would hit him. You didn’t know what to do. You would report this behaviour to Isabelle but she told you that there was nothing she could do since Audie was the island rep. She was untouchable, and so, you could only helplessly stand back as Kevin was being harassed. You knew if you tried to intervene, Audie might do something more drastic. The whole situation was bad and apparently even Tom Nook has privately told Kevin that it might be for the best if he moved out.

All of the abuse led to Kevin finally moving out. You felt bad for the poor guy. But you were even more scared of Audie. What was truly scary was the fact that Audie had acted nothing but sweet around you. Giving you cute outfits and accessories and furniture. In a way it scared you more than if she would be hitting you as well. Because she was honestly terrifying when she acted nice around you. She would be unaware of how strongly she came off while near you. As a result she would usually be oblivious to your fear of her, which would result in very little personal space and a lot of touching. Not anything inappropriate, no, touching your shoulder, twiddling with your hair, stroking your arm, even giving big hugs that would shake you to your core. She was so much bigger than you, so to have her overpower you like that, you felt completely helpless in her strong grip. She could do anything and you would be powerless to stop it. And that’s why she was so much scarier when nice. She would practically drown you in affection that you did not want. Yet she either didn’t care or didn’t notice.

Going back to present day however. Audie was now walking towards you and you could feel yourself Yelp as she grabbed your hand and kissed you on the cheek. “H-Hello sweetheart...” you didn’t want to call her that, it’s literally that you couldn’t NOT say that. She changed your catchphrase to “Honey” and your nickname for her to “sweetheart”. So you had no choice but to call her that. You could feel your hands start to shake slightly and you tried to make it stop, but that only made you tense up in your whole body as trying to calm your nerves only made them worse. Audie was quick to notice this. “Oh? Why Y/N, your shaking. Is something wrong?” What do you say what do you say? “N-No I’m fine! I uh...I’m just a little cold that’s all...” you probably should have said something else as once she heard this, Audies eyes lit up and instantly you knew you weren’t gonna like this. “Awe you poor thing. Here let me help you!” And so, she lifted you up in her arms and carried you to your bed, where she proceeded to spoon you. At this point you figured you might as well not hold back, as long as she thought you were just cold and not afraid. And so, your whole body started to tremble. No matter how many times she did this, it would never be any less scary. “Oh my. Your shaking very bad. You must be absolutely freezing! Looks like we’ll be here for a while.” Shit.

But this sort of suffocating intimacy was not even the worst part of Audie. As island representative, she was the only one who could build and terraform the island. And she used that for bad things. The first thing she did when she found out she could move houses was to move yours next to her. After that, she completely surrounded both of your houses with a fence. Audie could exit the “yard” anytime, all she needed to do was pick up a part of the fence and put it down. But you, you were stuck. You could not get out and could only watch the island from inside your little “enclosure”. She also started to decide what you should wear. Sometimes she would give you cute clothing, things that you actually enjoyed wearing and felt comfortable with. Other times...other times she would give you skimpy outfits that barely covered you and made you feel very uncomfortable. At times like that you felt grateful no one else could see you. It was only you and Audie. But that didn’t exactly make you feel good. Anytime you wore them, Audie would squeal and blush and inspect you. She would walk circles around you, like a wolf circling a terrified bunny. Just waiting to pounce on it and sink it’s teeth into the poor critter. Luckily, Audie has never done anything...like that to you. She at least respected you enough to not force you to do anything. And that was at least a comfort for you. It was one of the very few comfort you had.

However, you weren’t ALWAYS trapped. Sometimes, Audie would hold a strange sort of...event? It’s very weird. She would open the fence and let you wonder around but shortly after you could see people arriving through the airport and drop off hundreds of Nook mile tickets. It would be insane to see how much they would give Audie. And at first you didn’t know why, you were aware of the fact that some people sold their villagers, but from what you knew, Audie didn’t do that. It was only later that you realised why they were here. They were here for you. They would pay up to 200 nmt just so they could get an hour of talking with you. You thought that was really weird, but to be honest, you didn’t mind it at all. It was the only time you could walk around the island and you could even talk to other people. Those other people being the paying humans of course. But it was nice, you enjoyed talking to some of them. You didn’t particularly like the humans that would only gush about you, telling you how much they loved you, and only asking you about stuff over and over again. It was just tiresome and very annoying. But every now and again there would be the humans that would talk to you like a normal person. Those were your favourites. Out of everyone, three humans stood out to you.

The first one was a girl. She was pretty short, maybe a few inches taller than you. She had light brown skin with freckles and blond hair. Her eyes were big and said hair was tied up in two pigtails. She was wearing a beige layered tank dress that looked very cute. Her name was Coco. She used to see you all the time. She was a frequent costumer, but then one day she just...stopped coming. Maybe she ran out of tickets, maybe she just lost interest, or maybe she found or bought her own Y/N. Yeah, that was a concept that made you really freaked out. The fact that there was apparently a bunch of copies of you out there. It happens to everyone who buys the nook inc getaway package. Either way, it didn’t matter. She stopped showing up, and you never saw her again.

The second one was a tall chubby man with yellow curly hair and a brown moustache. His skin tone was a bright shade of yellow. His eyes were kinda narrow but you could still see his very prominent blue eyes. He was always wearing a red ringmasters coat, always wearing it with such pride, you thought it was very cute. His name was Chops. Chops was always very nice to you. He would treat you well and act like a gentleman, sometimes it would come off as a bit weird but you knew his intentions were good. But after one visit where he asked if you would ever like to see his island, you never saw him again. And you were really excited as well...you thought that you could get away from this place but...apparently not. You didn’t believe that he just stopped going here like Audie said. By now you were smart enough to know that Audie wouldn’t let ANYTHING like that fly. You see, she kept a close eye anytime someone was there to visit. It was all part of the deal. They would get to come and hang out with you just as long as she was there with you. She would of course stand back a little, giving you and the customer some space. But never the less, she would be there, watching.

And the third person was a tall skinny guy named Raymond. Out of all three, Raymond was probably your favourite. He was around the same age as you, maybe a year or two older. He was very pale, you got the impression that he wasn’t exactly the type of person to tan. He would wear a grey waistcoat with a blue tie. His hair was blond and very neatly kept, he was very adamant about being precise. He wasn’t a neat freak per say. But he wanted things to stay orderly. But one of the most captivating things about him was his eyes. He had heterochromia, his right eye was brown and his left eye was green. On top of his eyes were a pair of glasses. And although he himself had said that he didn’t like his eyes, you thought they were beautiful. And anytime you would say that, you could see his face heat up as he muttered a thank you. You really liked Raymond, and you got the feeling he liked you as well. You liked him a lot more than Audie and you hoped she didn’t figure that out. Because once that happened, Raymond would probably get thrown out and not be allowed to see you.

Luckily, you don’t think she suspected anything. She seemed to trust Raymond since she left you two alone when he was over for no extra charge. It was amazing really, you don’t know how he did it but he apparently got her to trust him. And you were grateful for that. Because you and Raymonds conversations were usually the most genuine out of all your interactions.

“Hey Raymond? Could I ask you something?” You asked the guy sitting next to you. The two of you were sitting under a cherry tree near by the beach. He looked at you with a smirk. “Of course you can! You can tell me anything my dear Y/N.” As he said this, you could feel a smile form on your lips. He was always so sincere with you. “Okay so...how many tickets have you spent visiting me? A lot right? Why wouldn’t you just save up those tickets to buy or go for a villager hunt to find a copy of me? Wouldn’t that be easier than spending so much just to get an hour of speaking time with me?” This so something that had bugged you for a while. You didn’t understand this man. Why would he spend so much just to talk to you? Raymond let out a deep chuckle at this, pushing up his glasses on the bridge of his nose slightly before looking at you.

“It’s because, my dear Y/N. I don’t want a “copy of you”. I want to hang out with the real you, you who are living on this island. You mean a lot to me, and to see you not remember me...well it wouldn’t feel right...” he said. You could feel tears prickle your eyes. Did he really mean that? Did he care so much about you? “Woah woah what’s wrong?! Was it something I sa-“ before he could finish that sentence, he could feel two small arms wrap around his waist. You were now crying into his chest, with him awkwardly trying to comfort you by patting your back. “Hey now, don’t cry. It’s okay-“ “No no it’s not! You don’t understand!” But as you said this, Raymond pulled you out from his chest, grabbing your shoulders as he stroked one of your cheeks with his hand. “But I wanna understand! Please Y/N! If there’s something going on, I want to know so I can help! Just...please...tell me what’s going on? I care about you Y/N...” as he said that you could feel your heart skip a beat. Should you....

And so, you told Raymond about the whole thing. You told him about Audie, about Kevin, about the strict rules. About everything. You tried to keep your breath steady but it was hard as all your emotions spilled out. Once you were done it was easy to see the disgust that lingered on Raymond’s face. You didn’t blame him. It wasn’t exactly the lightest thing to process. But after a few minutes of silence, Raymond grabbed your shoulder and looked at you with a serious yet sad look. “Y/N I-.....I’m so sorry....I didn’t know how bad Audie was and I-....I’ve been supporting her...I’ve been paying her nmt just so I could see you. I’ve been giving her the satisfaction and encouraged by directly contributing to-“ before he could continue you grabbed his hands. Raymond looked down at you and got the message. Right now there were more important things to dissolve rather than blaming someone. “Okay okay...you’re right. Well what can I do? Do you need anything?” He asked you. You didn’t know. Should you...yes. “Take me away from here.” You said short and simply. “What?” Raymond responded, making sure what he heard was real and not something he imagined. “Take me away from this hellhole! I don’t wanna live here! To Audie, I’m just some toy for her enjoyment. I don’t want to live here! I don’t want to live here! I don’t-“ Raymond quickly pulled you in for another hug. Both to comfort you, and to silence you. He didn’t want Audie to hear... “Okay okay. Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here Y/N....” Raymond got quiet for a few seconds, almost like he’s considering something. “Come to my island. You’ll be safe there and I’m sure my residents would love you.” He told you, gently stroking your cheek. “Thank you Raymond. Thank you so much!” “Of course Y/N. I promise you. I WILL get you out of here...”

And so, the two of you started planning. Planning on what to do, planning on how you’d do it. There was barely any time left for Raymond’s visits so he agreed to come back the next day. You and Audie waved goodbye to him as he entered the airplane and left the island. Audie grabbed your hand as she looked down at you. “Did you guys have fun? What did you guys talk about?” She was acting and talking very sweetly but you knew what that question meant. It wasn’t “I’m interested in what you discussed” it was “I’m paranoid and need to know what you were doing without me.” But by now you were used to these questions and knew how to get around them. “Oh you know, just life in general. He talked a little about how his island is going and I talked about my life. I told him about the delicious peach pie you made last week.” Any and all suspicion that Audie had melted away once you aged her a compliment. You knew that if you ever wanted to change the subject or get away with something, you needed to sprinkle in a compliment. And just like always, Audie let all of her guard down. “Aww! That’s so sweet of you! I love you so much!!!” And just like most times, she wrapped you up in a big hug. You tried to steady your breathing as you responded to her. “I love you to...” and you stayed like that for a couple of minutes before Audie released you. “Well I just wanted to say, this was the last visit! I’ve got so many Nook mile tickets now that I don’t even need any more! So you don’t have to interact with these weirdos anymore! And guess what? The first thing I’m gonna do is fix up our home. Maybe I can convince good old Tom Nook to give us that big Villa so we can live in the same house! Imagine it, we could hare the bed, I could hold you every night. We would eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together! I could spend my mornings and nights with you! Oh just thinking about it is making me all giddy!”

As she said this, you could feel your whole body tense up. Your eyes went wide and you felt all the air escape your lungs. You wanted to cry, to scream, to yell out for help. But only meekly whimpers came out of your throat. “Oh darling, you’re so happy you can hardly breathe! Well don’t you worry dear. There’ll be plenty of celebration time later!” “N-N-NONONO! H-Hold up i-why...why can’t we celebrate a little tonight? W-why don’t I...sleep at your house tonight? I-I mean if we’re gonna sleep together, we might as well start getting more accustomed to it...” as you said this, you could see Audies face turn into a shade of dark red. It seemed the two of you had very different ideas of what you would be doing once you shared a bed. Of course, nothing happened later that night, just you asleep in Audies arms. Her grip on you was very strong. To get out, you had to slither your way away from her, it took about 30 minutes to do this as any time you made a slight movement, Audie started groaning and moving. You had to be careful, if she woke up it was game over. Once you were free of her grip, you carefully searched the whole room for her phone, making sure not to step on any creaking floor boards in the process. After about 3 minutes, you found it lying on the nightstand next to Audie. So carefully, you approached it and picked it up from the table. Now walking out of the room, preparing to rummage through it. You entered all messaging apps and looked through them all to find Raymond. Finally you found a conversation between Audie and Raymond on an app called “Discord”. You wasted no time, quickly typing in a message for him. You just hoped he would be awake at this time...

“Raymond? Is this you? It’s Y/N. I’ve taken Audies phone. She’s planning on stopping the visits and she’s gonna limit my freedom even further. Please I need your help.” As you sent this you felt even more panic rush over you. The reality of the situation hasn’t quite settled in yet but now? Now you truly realised what could happen if Raymond didn’t help you. Your hands started to shake and your eyes filled with tears, it was getting harder and harder to breathe quietly. You needed to get out of the house before Audie heard you! But just as you opened the door you could feel the phone vibrate. It was Raymond! Before you opened the text, you quickly went out of the house, making sure to carefully close the door. After that you ran towards the big fence, it was higher than your entire body. But you couldn’t stay here. Looking around you saw a tree stump with a sharp golden axe lodged into it. Should you? You have no other choice! So you ran towards the axe, picking it up with struggle. And then, with all your might, all the pent up fear and anger, you struck the fence with force. After maybe two swings you had broken up a small part that you could fit through. And so, you ran, you ran to the beach near dodo airlines. Picking up the phone to look at the new message.

“Y/N?”

“Okay calm down, we’ll figure this out...I made a promise to help you and I’ll be damned if I don’t keep that promise.”

“What if I double the amount of nmt to see you? Would that work?”

You thought about it. But no. Audie wouldn’t care. “No, that’s not gonna work, Audie probably has ten thousands of tickets by now...” And after about 20 seconds you got a reply. “I’ve got it! Why don’t you go to the dodo airport, open the gates and tell me the dodo code!” This....this could actually work! You wiped your tears away and quickly replied. “Yes! I’ll go do it right now!” And with that, you quickly ran into the dodo airlines. You asked Orville to open the gates and that you wanted visitors, and after a quick weird look he complied, telling you the dodo code. He was probably not used to villagers wanting to go but it wasn’t exactly any rules against it. You pulled out your phone to text Raymond, he had left a message to you. “Alright! Let me go to the airport!” You smiled to yourself as you read this. Is this it? Are you really gonna escape? You texted him back. “The dodo code is B2GT7.” And now you just had to wait. You sat down on one of the stools in the airport, twiddling your thumbs as you waited. But then. Something awful happened.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?” You quickly turned around in shock to see the person you wanted to see the least. It was Audie, standing in the doorway. Her hair was disheveled and she looked this close to snapping. Your whole body started to shake more violently then it had ever done. “A-A-Audie?! I-I-I ca-an exp-plain!” You couldn’t keep your voice steady as you hastily backed up against Orvilles desk. Orville was looking at the both of you, very concerned but mostly scared. “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HERE!!! ESPECIALLY AT THE DODO AIRLINES! WERE YOU GONNA FLY AWAY AND LEAVE ME!!!!” Audie was now approaching you at a rapid pace. It didn’t take long before she was towering above you. “I really thought I could trust you Y/N! But it seems I’ve been giving you to much freedom. Until we get the shared house, you’re gonna be locked inside my house!” As she said this, she grabbed a hold of your arm and started dragging you

away, you were punching and trying to pry off her hand but it wouldn’t budge. Once you were outside of the airport Audie continued. “Maybe I’ll have to put the new basement to use. Yeah, until we get the shared house, you’ll be chained up in my basement. I can’t trust you on the main floors, they have windows and I wouldn’t want you to escape again!” Once you heard this, adrenaline kicked in to the max. You used all your strength to kick Audie in the shin. She instantly released you to grab her leg. Letting out strings of grunts and curse words. You tried to run back to the airport again but Audie tripped you and grabbed your legs. Now dragging you back to the house. You tried to grab onto anything, digging your nails into the ground. But nothing slowed her down, she was determined to take you with her. So you cried out for help. Hoping that someone, ANYONE would hear.

And just then you could hear footsteps approaching and Audie letting out a grunt. Suddenly, her grip on your feet released and you could hear a big thud. Turning around, looking back, you could see Raymond. He was leaning over Audie, two hands pressed against her throat. He was strangling her! You quickly ran up to him and tried to pry him off. “Raymond no! Stop! Please stop!” He looked at you, hate in his eyes, yet none of that hate directed at you. You gave him a pleading look. And so, Raymond stood up. Taking his hands off her throat. Audie immediately started to cough, desperately trying to get air back into her lungs after it being forced out. Raymond wasted no time however. Grabbing your hand and running off to the airport. He slammed his hands onto the desk that’s Orville say by. “TAKE US AWAY FROM HERE! NOW!!!”

The flight home was very quiet. Neither of you wanted to bring up what happened before you left. Raymond felt ashamed over himself. He decided to try to break the silence. “Listen I-“ “you tried to kill her...” He didn’t know how to respond in a way that wouldn’t make him sound like a psycho. “...yeah...I did...I’m...im sorry Y/N. I tried to stop myself, but right then, that moment. When I saw how horrified you looked...I guess the adrenaline took over...a-and I know that’s not a valuable excuse! I know that! What I did was inexcusable! But...I don’t know, I guess I just lost control...” as he said this, you leaned your head against his shoulder. “I don’t care what happens to Audie. I care about what COULD have happened to you. What if she got loose and attacked you?! What if someone saw it and called reinforcement!? Do you really think I’m worth going to jail for!?” You turned around to look at him as you said this. There were tears flowing through your eyes. Raymond cupped your cheeks with his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears. He looked into your eyes and leaned closer, kissing your forehead. “You’re worth dying for Y/N...”

After maybe 2 minutes of flying you finally arrived at Raymonds island. Salamacis. You always liked that name and this would be the first time you ever visited Salamacis. The island was still very bright. It appeared to be around 5pm at the island when you arrived, and as the plane flew closer to the ground you could see the decor of Salamacis. It was beautiful, the entire island was decorated in a very classical manner. The ground was covered with stone paths except for the flower gardens full of white and black flowers. There were full of zen gardens everywhere, In fact the whole place screamed of “Zen”. It was very nice. You could also see the occasional islander running around. Some of them saw the plane and waived, some of them even ran after the plane. And sure enough, as you and Raymond walked out of the airplane, A small group of villagers had gathered around you. They all looked curiously at you. Your grip on Raymond’s hand tightened, but Raymond stroked it gently with his thumb, trying to calm you down. He let go as he walked toward them all, with you following behind him. “Everyone! This is my friend Y/N! She’s going to be living here from now on! I want you all to treat her with respect and kindness. As she is a new addition to the family.” Everyone was quiet for a few seconds before a small rabbit ran up to you. She was black with a few white spots here and there and had a black tuff of hair on her head right between her ears. She was wearing a black box skirt uniform and a black beret. “Hello! I’m Mari! Welcome to Salamacis! You’re Y/N huh? We’ve heard so much about you! If you want we can give you an island tour!” “Yeah! Let’s give them a tour!” “Follow us!” They all said as they ran away, you felt much easier as you ran after them. But you stopped midway and ran to Raymond. “Thank you Raymond. Thank you for everything.” And with that, you gave him a quick pick on the cheek and ran after the others. You got a feeling that you were gonna enjoy it here. Meanwhile, Raymond was standing by the airport wide eyed and blushing like crazy.

“So we don’t actually have an open plot for you to live in...so you’re gonna have to sleep in my house.” Raymond said as he led you up the stairs to the bedroom. “I know that it sucks that you just got out of the Audie situation and now still have to share house with someone, but don’t worry! I’m gonna sleep downstairs on the couch!” As he said this, you two arrived in the main bedroom. Just the mere sight of it made you let out a small “woah” to which Raymond laughed slightly. He thought your amazement was adorable. The room had a king sized bed in the middle, with a big fluffy rug under it. You went up to it and sat on the bed. The blanket was made with a soft material and the mattress was so comfortable that you practically fell into it once you sat down on it. You immediately laid down, basking in the comfortable material as you stretched. “So, again, if you need anything, and I mean ANYTHING, feel free to come down and ask. Alright? Goodnight Y/N.” And so, as you got down under the blanket, Raymond turned to walk down the stairs. “A-Actually Raymond? There is one thing I wanted to ask...” as you said this, Raymond made a total 180 and looked at you. “Yeah?” “Would you...would you sleep with me tonight?” Once you asked this, Raymond’s eyes went wide, it looked like there was about a thousand thoughts going through his head. “Y-yeah! Of course!” And so, he walked up to you. Lifting up the blanket and laid next to you. You crawled up to him, embracing him. And he did the same, he was wearing a silk rope with some imperial print. It felt very comfortable. You rubbed your face against him, feeling yourself drift off to sleep. “Goodnight Raymond....I love you...” and just like that. You were out like a candle. Raymond felt his heart beat faster. You...loved him?

“...hhhehheh....hehehe, oh Y/N...” Raymond laughed quietly to himself. He had you, he finally had you! After months of searching! After thousands of Nook mile tickets! At first, he just wanted one of you. But when he found out that you were the original you! That made him interested in you specifically. And that interest only grew and grew until it became a monster-like obsession. He wanted you, he needed you. He was gonna do everything it took to get you. When he attacked Audie, he went in full intention to murder her. Such a disgusting individual! How dare she treat you like nothing but a mere pet! Raymond felt ashamed for what he did, not because he regretted it, but because he did it in front of you. You should never have had to see that side of him. But not to worry, you would never ever HAVE to see him like that again! Now that you lived here with him there was nothing that could come between you and him! He was gonna treat you so much better than Audie did. You would be allowed to walk around freely! Talk to anyone you wanted! Dress in any way you wished! If he found you at the Ables sisters and you wanted the 1 000 000 bell crown? He would buy it! No questions asked! He would even let YOU decide where to place your house once you got it! ...but there’s no rush. If he could have you like this, next to him, for a few more weeks...maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing...he knew that he would eventually have to let you move out into your own home. After all, he just said that he wouldn’t be like Audie. But maybe a little bit more time with you wouldn’t hurt. You wouldn’t mind! The proof was right in his arms. He didn’t even suggest that he slept next to you, yet you still asked for it! And you said you loved him! Oh you were gonna be so happy here! He was gonna make sure of that. He’s your friend. Your saviour. The one who’ll always be there. The one who’ll always have time for you.

The one who rescued you.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Oh was this a shitpost idea? How about I turn it into a 6 0 0 0 W O R D F I C ? No but for real. This is probably one of my favorite ones. It was such an interesting idea and like...I got so much inspiration. Also sorry to the anon that wanted a wholesome happy ending. It’s more of a bittersweet ending. But if you feel bad for Y/N, I don’t think Raymond is gonna do anything since Y/N is pretty much in love with him. There. Happy ending! So yeah...more Raymond :D wooo! Hope y’all are hungry because I am serving some food! This time featuring friends as the villagers beck didn’t want to come up with villagers myself!

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redcat921 · 3 years

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Watch. Soul. Twice.

God, I haven't text posted in AGES but I think breaking down twice in a row for this pixar movie just hits so much BETTER. This movie will be on my mind for ages just because of how memorable it is.

EXTREME SPOILERS AHEAD!! Though, if you want to follow my lead, I'll tl;dr.

Watch the movie from Joe Gardener's perspective first. After, watch the movie from 22's perspective.

So, first off, I'll start with this. My own experience of watching this movie which was... absolutely amazing!! You're thrown into the middle school band class, and you immediately connect with Joe's music passion. Then, of course, crushed by the responsibility of having a job as a teacher. Even though his mother sees it as good, he still doesn't. And when he gets the chance of the lifetime to play with one of his jazz icons, Dorothea Williams, you feel as if he's finally getting what he's always wanted. Then he dies. You understand why he wants to get back to his life and his convictions, so you're rooting for him.

Obviously, this is Joe's story first and foremost. Which is why you're watching from his perspective, why you're watching him dream his dreams. Everything, from that first moment forward, is his perspective.

Okay, okay, that doesn't explain why I'm so heavy on watching Joe's perspective first, but I feel like any reader here will get it? As a movie goer, you want Joe to succeed in his dreams yet he's also beginning to care (platonically) about 22. Movie continues, and you see how much 22 is growing as a person, but you're still driven to let Joe back into his body to fulfill his dream. Then, when it hits that 22 found her spark and Joe snaps at her, his drive to become a jazz musician is only fueled. Of course, it's uncomfortable to watch how awkward 22 was in his body, but he's "just about to start living."

The best part? This one performance he felt his entire life built up to? It's... not everything he chalked it up to be. Then, that conversation with Dorothea hits. Joe wants the ocean even though he's already in it. And he only realizes it when he's home alone, playing the piano watching 22's memories in his body flash by.

This is why Joe's perspective hits. This moment, his Epiphany (according to the tracklist), is the trademark Pixar cry moment. All the memories of his life, the ones he didn't think of as important, are the ones he sees before accepting "death." This whole sequence just hits so well, as he realizes how small he truly is yet how meaningful his life was to those in it. Even more so because 22 deserves to live, maybe better than he ever could.

Now, I see this "climax" of the film (where 22 becomes a lost soul then is saved by Joe) as great, but most see it as unnecessary and a little immature in comparison to the rest of the movie. And this isn't the pixar cry moment every watcher probably had five minutes ago during Epiphany. This scene is probably the reason why I'm saying to watch it twice, but I'll get to it later.

End of Joe's story where he gets a second chance. (Yes, it's vague but that's because the literal point of the movie was that there wasn't a set purpose or meaning to his life. Hot take.)

Now, what you probably came for. Why you watch it twice. Well. That's simple enough, actually watch 22 this time. She's still a main character even from her first appearance past the title card, so she does deserve to be treated as such.

From 22's perspective, this Joe Gardner's life is the definition of dismal. Bleak. So much dreariness in life it could be draining... Yet, Joe wants to go back. To Earth which seems like the worst place ever. From her comments about how, "You can't crush a soul here. That's what life on Earth is for." AND "I've been trying for forever to find my spark.", you see her plight. Along with the fact you've seen how deeply this affects her in your first watch through, her movements matter a lot more.

I think the moment that stood out to me is 22's interest in Joe Gardner's life when Moonwind takes them to the "thin spot." It's a blink and you'll miss it moment for sure. But, for a split second, she looks at Joe while he's meditating and imagining his home. I can't help but imagine her interest in life despite all the things she's been told by the many mentors she's had. Then, you get to see her perspective about life on Earth.

From the awkwardness from standing still on the sidewalk in NYC to experiencing pizza for the first time, this is a true step outside 22's comfort zone. And she LOVES it. You get to experience how she found her spark in the littlest things that end up on Joe's piano during that first Pixar cry moment. You see when she talks to Dez, Joe's barber, and how she half reveals that she's scared of finding the wrong "spark" or "getting someone else's." You see her joy in playing with the window, taking the Take One van flyers, even laying on the grate pretending to fly. And you see how impactful Joe's relationship with his mother is too. Interesting that Joe's voice comes out during that conversation, which I noticed on my first watch, but really hit the second time. 22 has found out how meaningful human relationships can be.

Wow. The helicopter seed moment. Watching humans experience life and have relationships with each other is her spark. And that hits. Maybe enough to cry, maybe not. But 22 doesn't know about her spark, but you understand how desperate she is to live.

Then, of course, she gets put back into the Great Before, and Joe snaps at her. This hurts. You know how badly Joe wanted his own dreams, and he claims that your own life is only because he made it so. And... For that moment, she believes he's right. So she gives him the life he's been begging for and comes to the crushing conclusion that she doesn't have a purpose. She doesn't have that spark everyone else typically has. And, if that isn't relatable nowadays for those with mental health issues.

Yeah, it takes the wind out of the Epiphany moment, to watch from 22's perspective. But when you get to that moment where 22 wonders why she doesn't have a purpose in that white space, that broke me. The sand vortex in her lost soul did too, but that moment of being told that there is no being good at life, that evry soul is simply living, that no purpose could ever replace the relationships that she could build just like Joe had... "You're pretty great at jazzing." That's the second trademark Pixar cry moment.

For both of these watches, it makes the last moment when Joe holds 22's hand as they fall to Earth work. That's the lynchpin of this whole movie. This makes me cry too, but if you're too tuckered out from the other two, you're alright in my book. Both perspectives just allow this moment to be... That this mentorship mattered for both of their lives as they move forward.

Honestly, rewatch this movie 5000 times. This movie HITS all the right notes (forgive the pun) in their respective storylines.

I might watch it a third time after talking about it at length. To allow both stories to hit me. But, I hope you had fun reading my emotional journey while watching this film twice. (Yes, I did cry like a baby multiple times. I nearly cried writing this. Let me LIVE.)

Tl;dr Watch Pixar's Soul twice to get both perspectives from both Joe Gardner's perspective and 22's, so you understand the story in full. Thanks for reading!

#long post #soul #pixar soul #disney soul #pixar #disney #soul spoilers #tw flashing images for the movie #tw panic attack for the movie too #me? emotionally projecting onto a movie twice? absolutely.#just watch this movie!!!#its worth it!!!#yea its vague but do i care??? no #the specific shit i care about are the people in it #and both main characters get that.#lmao hi if you read this far #if you want more takes my ask box is open

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liemonyellow · 3 years

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i couldn't hide from the thunder (happy end)

read on ao3

Ship: romantic anamoceit (patton/virgil/janus)

Word Count: 5000

Warnings: implied attempted suicide (no one dies, but it’s not really discussed either - the end is almost pure fluff), lots of italics

Summary: It was cruel, the way Virgil’s heart belonged to someone who would never love him back. It had to be karma, because hadn’t it been Virgil who pushed him away? Virgil, who lashed out and locked out everybody in a moment of hurt, who was too afraid to admit his feelings, forever destined to see his beloved love someone else?

Notes: This is the HAPPY ending. If you prefer sad endings where the ship doesn't get together and someone dies, there is a tragic ending version. The story is exactly the same up until the line, “From you? That would be nice, yeah!” and diverges from there.

---

If you're here for the alternate ending, click here to skip to the diverging point.

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Virgil didn't understand how things had gotten to this point.

He drifted vaguely into the kitchen, taking in nothing, trying not to think about how tired Patton looked when Virgil checked in on him only five minutes ago. Despite Virgil’s insistence that he rest, he was adamant on staying where he was, though he did ask if he could bring up something warm, like tea, or soup. Apparently it tasted better if it was handmade instead of summoned.

"Can you bring up two? For when he wakes up?" He had asked, eyes red with exhaustion, his normally exuberant smile timid and watery.

Virgil didn't want to. But he saw the tremor in the moral side's hand as he tried and failed to rub away the tiredness of his eyes, the other clutching Deceit's cold, unresponsive arm like a lifeline. So he agreed, of course he agreed, because Patton had asked, and it was important that Patton was happy. And if making Patton happy meant making Deceit happy…

Virgil sighed, rubbing his own eyes, pinching his nose as he tried to focus. He opened the cupboard to check what they had and spotted a tin of Patton’s (and Deceit’s, his brain unhelpfully reminded him) herbal tea. He figured it was a safer - and quicker - bet than food and grabbed a couple of tea bags and put them in some mugs, then filled the electric kettle and started it.

It was taking a while.

Wasn't there a saying about pots and boiling water or something?

If Patton was here, he'd probably make a pun, his grin bright and shining as Virgil rolled his eyes and pretended he wasn't amused.

If Deceit was here, he'd probably shoot back with a snarky pun of his own, in that silky-smooth voice of his, all arrogance and smirks.

…

If Deceit was here, Virgil wouldn't be doing any of this.

Virgil didn't know what had possessed him to go and confront the snake the day prior. He was just so frustrated, unable to get the concept of Deceit charming his way into Patton’s daily life - and his heart - out of his head. Virgil was sure that the deceptive side had to be manipulating Patton somehow. And the sight of Patton, after everything he’d said, looking at Deceit with such fondness and affection whenever he saw them together, and Deceit doing the same - it made Virgil’s blood run cold and boil all at the same time. Virgil couldn’t stand it, the thought of the two of them, together. Deceit had to be using Patton to gain more influence over Thomas, because Virgil refused to believe the lying serpent could love anyone more than he loved himself. Because if he could...

Perhaps it was because no one had seen him in the last few days. That had Virgil worried, and the longer he failed to make an appearance, the more antsy Virgil got. Patton’s own fretting was driving him up the wall, but the other side kept saying something about “respecting his boundaries”.

He expected a fight. He expected the usual snark and sass and sarcasm. He didn’t expect to find Deceit’s room dark and freezing, or the side’s cold, dead-looking body curled up and slumped over in a pile on the ground.

Virgil wasn’t sure what happened after the others arrived. He hadn’t even been aware he was screaming until someone had grabbed him and sunk them both out into the commons, because even Remus knew that leaving Virgil anywhere near his own room in that state would have been a bad idea.

Whatever they did or found out, they had eventually managed to move Deceit to his bed and warm him and his room up without too much trouble, or so Virgil had discovered after he had calmed down.

Patton hadn’t left Deceit’s side since.

The shock had worn off completely then, replaced with renewed ire when Virgil realized Patton wouldn’t leave until he woke up.

If Virgil was frustrated before, he was incensed now. What if this was part of Deceit’s plan? What if it was all just another plot to get them to trust him? What if it was all just another lie? Patton, bless his forgiving heart, was dangerously close to falling in love, if he hadn’t already.

And Virgil had tried, so, so hard, to convince Patton to let him take care of Deceit. At least then the moral side could get some rest, and Virgil would have a 24/7 watch on the serpentine side. And watch he would.

Virgil had to admit that Deceit was very convincing in the way he looked like he was falling just as hard for Patton, likely plying him with some sympathetic sob story designed to reel in the fatherly figment. Every little glance, every lingering stare, every miniscule twitch of Deceit’s eyes were focused on Patton, when he wasn’t mocking Virgil with forlorn eyes and damn his acting abilities for making it look so genuine that Virgil couldn’t stop himself from glowering back, trying to catch him slipping up, to the point that every detail of his face, down to each and every scale was ingrained in Virgil’s mind.

The anxious side honestly didn’t know how he could keep up the act. But while Virgil had years of experience with Deceit’s smug goading and flirtation, Patton was falling for it all, hook, line, and sinker. (But why him? Why not-)

Virgil didn't have to like it, but Deceit was one of them now, and Patton would defend his acceptance to the bitter end. Such fierce loyalty, directed at the worst possible target. But however admirable Patton’s newfound devotion to and defensiveness of Deceit were, Virgil was determined to put a stop to it before the situation could change even more.

Now was probably the best time, given Deceit’s unconsciousness. The first thing to do was stop them from spending so much time together, before they actually got together; it was a slim chance, given their recent closeness, but Virgil had to try something. He was running out of simple options - Patton would only worry more once separated from his not-yet(?) boyfriend, and asking him to just hang out would just be tactless and suspicious at this time. Virgil had even offered to stay there with him and Deceit - so many times it sounded pathetically desperate even to himself - just so Patton could eat or sleep or simply stretch his legs for a minute, but Patton wouldn't budge. He hadn’t so much as drunk a glass of water unless someone put it into his hands.

Right, the tea.

He hadn’t noticed the kettle click off, but there was still steam rising from the spout so he poured the water into the mugs. He hesitated before putting the kettle away. Maybe Patton would let him stay a little, if he brought his own cup, and then Virgil could maybe convince him to leave Deceit alone with him for a few hours? Virgil would stay with Deceit for as long as it took.

He grabbed another mug and tea bag and poured himself a cup and grabbed both the other mugs with his free hand before carefully heading back up the stairs, focusing solely on not spilling anything as he walked.

He was just outside the door, wondering how he was supposed to get in when he heard a raised voice. It sounded like Patton.

Glancing around and finding no help, he ended up setting down his one mug on the floor and opened the door with his newly free hand, and slowly tilted his head inside.

“-ease, Janus!” Patton was kneeling next to the bed, clutching Deceit’s hand between his as if in prayer, his head turned away from the door, focused solely on the bed’s occupant.

Deceit was awake, just barely, eyes cracked open just enough to reveal a sliver of yellow and amber. As soon as Virgil had peeked in, he’d noticed and stared, expression unreadable. Virgil’s blood chilled at the sight of him, pale and pitiful and hardly able to keep his eyes open, looking so vulnerable and weak. Then Patton bowed his head, bringing their joined hands to his brow as he trembled, and Virgil’s blood burned in his veins. It was an act, he reminded himself. It had to be. Because if it wasn’t… then they...

Deceit mumbled something too soft for Virgil to hear, and Patton spun around to see him standing in the doorway, wide-eyed. He scrambled to his feet and gave Virgil an obviously fake smile, wiping away his tears. Virgil could feel his heart squeeze at the sight of him pretending he wasn’t hurting.

“Virgil! Janus is awake! Um,” he glanced at the bedridden side and back, spotting the mugs Virgil was holding, “oh, right, the tea! Thank you so much!”

He walked over quickly and grabbed the mugs, saying, “I’m sorry, kidd- uh, Virgil, but I don’t think Janus is really ready for more people right now. I’m really sorry!”

Virgil’s heart dropped, but he managed to nod mutely, step out, and close the door behind him. He heard Patton cooing apologies to Deceit before the heavy wood cut off his voice with a finality that unsettled the purple side.

Virgil stood there for a minute.

Picked up his mug.

Made it all the way to his room.

Shut and locked the door.

Stood there another minute.

Started shaking.

Then, he threw the mug, tea and all, against the wall, splattering the hot liquid all over the posters and shattering the ceramic.

Virgil sank to the floor, hugging his knees, tucking his face into them.

It was cruel, the way Virgil’s heart belonged to someone who would never love him back. It had to be karma, because hadn’t it been Virgil who pushed him away? Virgil, who lashed out and locked out everybody in a moment of hurt, who was too afraid to admit his feelings, forever destined to see his beloved love someone else?

He didn’t know how long he stayed there. Eventually, he managed to drag himself into bed and into sleep, so exhausted that his anxiety had no chance to keep him up before he was unconscious.

For the next week, Virgil settled into a vague routine of bringing tea to Patton (and Deceit) in the evening. Deceit had recovered rather (suspiciously) quickly and was able to get up and walk for a bit. Still, Patton refused to leave him alone. If anything, he’d gotten more protective. Logan, Remus, and even Roman would also pop in during the day to see how the two were doing, but they did not seem all that concerned with things, at least not as much as Virgil was.

The worst part was how carefully the others would tread around Virgil, like he was some pitiful, pathetic creature or something. It was no secret that he had a huge crush on Patton. (Was that why Deceit chose him? Or just a spiteful twist of fate?) Roman had teased him relentlessly about it before… recent events, but Remus had only gotten worse, ribbing Virgil about making a little threesome with Patton and Janus, after years of mocking him about Janus’s “flirting”. And while Logan didn’t participate, the logical side also talked about Virgil’s crush as a matter of fact while chastising the twins for their teasing. So Virgil had taken to just staying inside his room and taking a nap during the day and going out in the dead of night, when everyone else was sleeping.

The evening of that fateful night, Virgil drifted awake the same way he fell asleep, vaguely aware that he was in a state of transition before his mind caught up to whatever was happening. He pushed himself up and stretched, checked the time, then flopped down, eyes drifting closed again...

Why had he woken up so early? Usually he wouldn’t get up for at least another hour, unless he was being summoned for something. God, he was so damn tired these days, no matter how long he slept.

Virgil’s eyes snapped open and he bolted up.

Fuck, Thomas was getting anxious about something.

Virgil swung himself out of bed and ran his hand through his hair to hopefully smooth it out some, then sank out and appeared in usual place at the foot of the stairs.

Thomas was staring at his phone, frowning. He didn’t seem too aware of Virgil’s presence.

Virgil reviewed the situation: Thomas was anxious. Obviously. He was about to text a friend. They hadn’t talked in a while, and left things off in a weird way that no one was happy with. Thomas missed him. He just wasn’t sure he missed him back.

Thomas sighed. He looked up and over to the blinds where Patton (and, now, Deceit) usually stood during discussions, then back down to his phone again. It had locked from inactivity. He huffed in frustration as he keyed his passcode into the screen.

Virgil decided to cut to the chase.

“Tell him the truth.”

Thomas practically leaped, his head whipping back up to see his anxious side leveling an accusatory stare at him, one eyebrow raised.

Thomas sighed again. “It’s probably too late...”

“Look, I’m sure he misses you, too.”

“Yeah, right. Clearly he does, or he wouldn’t be constantly avoiding me.” Thomas frowned at his phone again.

“You don’t know that. Not for sure. And being sure means you can move forward.”

Thomas gave an empty chuckle, then he leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and holding his head in his hands, as if denying he could see anything would help him avoid talking about it.

“Pretending you don’t miss him isn’t going to help. Just tell him the truth. Doesn’t he deserve that much?” Virgil asked.

Virgil knew that neither option felt any better than the other. Thomas glanced at Virgil from the corner of his eye. The side slouched even more, eyes flicking between Thomas and a random spot on the floor, almost pleadingly.

“Of course he does. But what if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“Then you apologize. And… you move on.”

Thomas shifted his glare to Virgil. “You’re saying that?”

Virgil hid his face. Of course he’d be called out. “We all have to try something new at some point, right?”

Thomas’s glare lost its heat. He looked back down again. “I want to apologize, but I feel like-”

“Like no matter what you do, you do the wrong thing. I know.”

Thomas sighed again, frowning at his phone. He hesitated, then deleted his text and wrote, “I’m sorry for how we left things. I still care about you. I want to apologize. Can we talk?”

He stared at the words for a good minute. Then he hit send.

It was the truth, at least. Thomas didn’t feel all that much better, and for that matter, neither did Virgil. Thomas set his phone down and buried his face in his hands again.

“Thanks, Virgil. For being… gentle? Patient? Understanding? Usually you’re the one giving me a hard time about this stuff.”

“I figured you could use a break. I am trying, you know. To help. To be less… aggressive.” Virgil shrugged, looking away. “I’m just filling in for Patton, really. Y’know, what he’d say in this situation and all.”

Thomas looked up and glanced at his- their spot again.

“I figured he would have shown up. To help me, like you just did. Where is he?” he asked.

Virgil shrugged. “With Deceit.”

“Why-”

“Just- don’t ask, Thomas. Now’s… not a great time.”

“When is?”

Virgil couldn’t look at Thomas. Thomas rubbed his eyes.

“I just don’t get it. Up until a couple of weeks ago, things were fine. Then, it’s like, I don’t know, it’s like I stopped caring. About my friends, my family, my own life. I was supposed to do laundry, and take a day off to hang out with everyone, but I totally flaked on everything!” Thomas leaned back, sliding a little down the couch. “And I know it’s not Janus’s fault because Janus told me self-care was having clean clothes and spending time with my friends.”

Virgil held back a growl. This was absolutely Deceit’s fault. ‘Janus’ this and ‘Janus’ that, could the snake leave him alone for five goddamn minutes?! He already saw him day after day (Virgil could think of only one reason for wanting to see him more and he was already doing the best he could on that front) and he couldn’t even get away from him in his dreams!

“Why don’t you ask the Lord of the Lies himself?”

“I tried! But he didn’t show up either.”

“So you summoned me instead?”

“Not really… I guess I just got more anxious the longer I waited.”

“You know what? I just- I can’t with you right now.”

And with that, Virgil sank out, refusing to answer Thomas’s summons afterward. He appeared outside of Deceit’s door.

Now that he was here, though, he hesitated. But he brushed it aside, too angry to think at the moment. He knocked and let himself in.

“Thomas wants to talk to Deceit.”

Patton was already half-standing, looking back and forth between the side in the bed and the side who just entered.

“But, Janus isn’t ready for-”

“He can walk now, can’t he? It’s not like he’s a real human, it’s not like he’s going to disappear without you around.”

Patton made a pained sound, but Deceit laid a hand on his arm and said, “It’s fine, Patton. I can go and see what Thomas wants to talk about.”

Patton shook his head. “No! I’ll go!”

“Patton-”

“I’ll go,” Patton said.

Deceit looked into his eyes for a long moment, then nodded gravely before adding, “Then Virgil can stay with me tonight, and you can get some actual sleep.”

Patton’s face scrunched in distress. “Janus-!”

“Thank you, Patton. For everything you’ve done for me. But you need rest.” Something they both agreed on, not that Virgil would ever admit to it.

“Will you…?” Patton glanced worriedly at Virgil.

“Yes, Patton. I’ll tell him. It will be fine, Patton. I promise. Go to Thomas.”

Patton glanced a moment at Virgil, then bent down over Deceit. From his angle, Virgil couldn’t tell what he was doing, but it seemed like he was whispering something in Deceit’s ear. Deceit whispered something back, and Patton stood back up, tears forming in his eyes. They were both smiling softly. Virgil felt a pang of jealousy throbbing in his heart, knowing he’d never be the recipient of such fondness. Patton wiped his face on his sleeve, then walked over to Virgil, expression somber.

“Virgil,” he said, voice low. “Please, please, don’t let Janus do anything… extreme. Please. I know you don’t like him much, but I’m begging you.”

Virgil sighed, but cracked a small smile. “Darn, there goes my plan to secretly help him enter the Olympics.”

Patton didn’t laugh. Virgil’s smile fell, and he said, “Yeah, sure. I’ll try.”

A corner of Patton’s mouth quirked up. “Thank you.”

Patton sunk out slowly, maintaining eye contact with Deceit until he was gone, leaving the two of them alone together. Finally.

Deceit immediately spoke up. “There’s no need for you to actually stay, Virgil. At least, no longer than you’re comfortable with staying.”

Virgil fixed his stare on the reptilian side. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? No, you’re not getting rid of me that easy. I told Patton I’d stay here, and that’s what I’m going to do. And so are you. You said you were going to tell me something?”

Deceit sighed, rolling his eyes and looking away. He looked deep in thought. That never meant good things, in Virgil’s experience.

“Do you remember what it was like? Before you left?”

The question caught Virgil by surprise. “Uh. Yeah, I guess. As much as anyone remembers things that happened years ago.”

A corner of Deceit’s mouth twitched up, not unlike Patton’s had some minutes ago. Virgil wondered who’d picked it up from whom.

“I suppose it’s too much trouble to ask if you ever missed it?”

What was his angle here? Trying to trick Virgil into reminiscing? For what purpose? Virgil’s glower deepened.

Deceit sighed. His shoulders slumped, just a fraction. “I’m only wondering, Virgil, I’m not going to bite you or anything.”

“Why do you want to know?”

Deceit met his eyes, staring levelly. Neither one said anything for what felt like ten minutes, but couldn’t have been more than ten seconds. Virgil broke away first, face flushing from such direct, intense eye contact.

“Can’t a side be curious about what it’s like to be accepted?”

“You are accepted. Sort of.”

“Sort of,” he agreed, nodding.

Virgil bit his lip. The motion drew Deceit’s eyes to it, but they snapped back up to continue boring into Virgil’s. “Honestly? Not really. It was different, back then. Harder. And don’t get me wrong, it’s still hard sometimes, but it’s also easier? ‘Cause now Thomas knows how to, I don’t know, work with me? We work together now, and it’s a lot better than it was when we didn’t.”

Virgil ran a hand through his hair, fixating his gaze on the pattern in Deceit’s rug.

“When you were one of us.”

Virgil looked back at Deceit. His expression was, as usual, unreadable. “Well, yeah.”

Deceit looked away. He took a deep breath. Then he got out of bed.

“What are you doing?!”

Deceit snapped his fingers.

“Baking a pie. What does it look like I’m doing?”

He was now dressed in his best attire, though not quite fully. Virgil was reminded of the courtroom. Whatever Deceit was planning, it couldn’t be good. Virgil could feel his panic rising.

“Patton said-”

Deceit frowned and snapped again, conjuring a pair of yellow socks.

“Patton doesn’t control what I do.”

He put the socks on.

“I said-”

Pulled out a pair of shiny shoes from beneath his bed.

“You said you would try. You tried. It’s not your fault you didn’t succeed.”

Put on one shoe.

“What are you even going to do?!”

Then the other.

“Take a walk.”

Deceit stood up, straightening out his suit and checked his inner breast pocket for something, patting it for extra measure.

“What?”

He stood in front of Virgil. He looked shorter without his hat. His hair was a mess of curls. They looked soft.

“I left my favorite hat in the Imagination. I need to go fetch it.”

Virgil blinked incredulously.

“Why now?”

“Patton would hardly let me out of his sight, let alone this room.”

“Ask Roman or Remus to get it.”

“Alas, I hid it too well. Neither of them would be able to find it.”

“Ask one of them to make you a new one!”

“Are you going to let me go or not?”

“Give me one good reason I should!”

Deceit gave him yet another unreadable expression.

“You want the truth?”

“From you? That would be nice, yeah!”

Virgil was getting frantic. He could feel, somewhere deep within, that if he let Deceit walk out the door, he would never see him again.

The thought was unbearable.

“The truth,” Deceit scoffed, “is that you win.”

Virgil froze, uncomprehending.

“Wh- What?”

“Patton loves you. He says he loves me, too, but he didn’t want to hurt you. So we were a secret. He said he was fine with just me. But I’m not fine with just him.”

Virgil could not believe what he was hearing. It had to be a lie.

“I also love you. I’ve loved you for so long.” Tears were streaming from his eyes. “I thought- maybe you-” He had to stop to stem the flow of tears trailing down his cheeks and take a deep breath.

Virgil was frozen. He could not think of a single thing to say, or even think. His mind was stuck on three words.

“You made it very clear that you don’t feel the same. You don’t want anything to do with me. And you’re right. I wouldn’t want anything to do with me.” He wiped away a stray tear. Virgil wanted to do it for him, and to punch whoever had hurt him so much he’d started crying.

Oh. That would be him.

“And don’t think no one’s noticed how hard you’ve tried to separate Patton and me.” He sniffled. “So I’m giving you what you want. Removing the unwanted leg of the love triangle. You want Patton? He’s yours. You want me gone? I’m gone.”

Gone? What did he mean, gone?

“I mean you don’t have to worry about me ‘manipulating’ Patton anymore. I’m honestly surprised you found me in the first place. I thought for sure no one would notice until after everything was settled.”

No. What…

“Were you upset that I survived? Just one more day and all your problems would have disappeared. Well, here’s your chance. I’ll leave you and him and everyone else alone. Forever.”

Forever? As in...

“Yes.”

No. No. This wasn’t happening. He couldn’t mean...

“What do you want from me, then?! Stop giving me mixed signals, and just tell me!”

Virgil looked down at the serpentine side, at the tears in his lovely, long lashes, the anguish in his eyes, obscured by the red puffiness of his eyelids, the pained grimace that didn’t belong on his lips. Anxiety stood there, watching in slow-motion as his racing thoughts came to a conclusion that he’d known for so long but never truly acknowledged.

Why he’d been so jealous not only over Patton spending time with him, but over him spending time with Patton. Jealous over the fact that Patton was the one being flirted with, being teased, being stared at with such wistfulness. Jealous that they were together, without Virgil.

Why he’d been terrified, just as Patton was, that if he didn’t constantly have him in sight, that if he’d so much as blinked, he’d be back there, screaming over the cold body of someone he loved.

So he did the only thing he could think of, the thing he’d been wanting to do for the last few minutes, hours, days, years, but couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Didn’t.

Virgil grabbed Janus by his lapels and pulled him into a kiss. It was sudden and unexpected, and the impact kind of hurt his teeth, but if this was the only way he could get through to him, so be it.

Janus melted into it, after a moment of shock. Virgil pulled him closer, wrapping an arm behind the smaller side’s neck possessively. Janus embraced him tightly around the chest, almost falling backward from the way they were leaned over.

After an eternity, they separated. Virgil loosened his grip, but did not let go, resting his forehead against the shorter side’s head, eyes still closed.

“You love me?” he asked, voice small.

He said nothing, but Virgil could feel his nod. For the first time in what felt like forever, Virgil smiled, albeit with a bittersweet joy.

“I love you, too, Janus. I’m sorry. I’m so- I’m so fucking sorry it took you wanting to die for me to say it. But I want you here, with me. With Patton.”

They stood there, holding one another. Virgil didn’t want to let go. But he did.

They needed to talk. But they could do that later, with Patton. Janus needed rest. They all did.

Before they could do anything about it, the door opened and Patton took one step inside before stopping. He looked from Janus to Virgil and back.

“Janus? Why are you dressed like that? What’s going on?”

Janus shared a glance with Virgil. They both looked back to Patton.

Then they both burst into laughter.

“Guys!?”

Janus stumbled backwards to sit on his bed. Virgil doubled over, his own knees threatening to collapse from the emotional roller coaster this night had been.

“Patton, dearest, come here,” Janus said, holding out a hand as he wiped away his tears. Tears of joy, this time, and the thought swelled Virgil’s heart.

Patton gave Virgil a worried glance as he crossed the room toward Janus, only to be pulled, yelping, into the latter’s lap.

“Janus! Virgil-”

“Has something he’d like to say to us. Doesn’t he?” Janus’s eyes were so warm, so mirthful, and yet there was still some hesitation, some fear. It was time to put a stop to that doubt, once and for all.

Virgil shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets and hid behind his bangs. Despite knowing the likely outcome, he was- surprise, surprise- anxious about actually voicing it. He never thought he’d ever have to actually say it, and the last few minutes didn’t count, because Janus said it first. He gave himself a moment to compose himself.

He stared at the two of them, the two he’d fallen deeply and wholly in love with, and took a deep breath.

Then another.

One more-

“Virgil,” Janus said, his voice tender and gentle and oh, how Virgil loved that it was directed at him, “if you don’t want to do this now-”

“No,” he said, shaking himself out, “this ends here. Or, begins, I guess.”

Patton looked between them again, comprehension dawning as he looked into Virgil’s eyes. No doubt he’d noticed the eyeshadow by now.

“Patton. Janus. I, uh, I like. You?” Virgil cringed. “No, wait! I can do better!”

They waited patiently, with watery eyes and tender smiles. God, Virgil loved them.

“I love you. Both of you.” Virgil exhaled, eyes closed. There. It was over.

There was whispering, then the sound of cloth and springs and movement and footsteps. Virgil opened his eyes to see Janus and Patton standing side-by-side and hand-in-hand in front of him, holding out their free hands toward him.

He took them gratefully and they pulled him in to plant a kiss on both of his cheeks. His face burned.

“We love you, too, Virgil.”

---

@mimssides look what i did! happy ending! (don’t read the other one lol)

#sanders sides fics #virgil sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #moxceit #my fics #implied attempted suicide #no one dies #this is technically an alternate ending #the tragic version came first #but i thought a happy ending might be nice too #especially since someone very dear to me cannot read my more tragic stories and i would like them to know that they inspired this happy one #i posted them separately bc idk a better way to do alternate endings with major triggers #i am really getting into these poly ships lately #honestly as long as janus is in it i'm happy #and probably obsessed lbr #reblogs help i guess but i mainly write for my own enjoyment #leave a comment if you want to

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years

Text

The Best Things ~ J.V. (Part 1)

A/n: I'm so sorry but I DESPERATELY needed to get this off my chest before I exploded because I have absolutely NO self control.

I made a playlist

Word Count: 5000+

MASTERLIST

Come in sets of two...

Y/n was an oddball.

At least that's what his parents said- a lot.

"You're such an oddball."

It seemed that they meant it endearingly, but the words stuck with Y/n much more than they probably should have. And maybe that was less because of his parents or even his brother and more because of the media and the other kids that treated him very differently than they usually treated other people.

It probably didn't help that he was a Wayne.

Bruce Wayne was an absolute golden boy. He was responsible, driven, intelligent. He was a staple for Boys Going Somewhere. A face to an idea that everyone absolutely adored. It was known very well that Bruce was going to be the successor to Wayne Enterprises- even though Y/n was two years older. Bruce was good to the core, with a wide smile but a certain professionalism that most adults didn't ever master.He was level headed and figured things out very easily. His parents were incredibly proud of him and held him very dearly, and it showed.

Y/n wasn't anything like him. He preferred staying up late and watching the stars or the sun set and then rise again, compared to understanding anything about business. He was somewhat of an artist. He had notebooks full of drawings and his room was covered with thumbtacked paintings he'd put on his wall with pride, even though most of them were what he was known for: people, animals, or objects that he'd fixated on long enough to paint them... except that they were often multiple things in one painting, and they were all mashed together in a rather alarming sight. He walked around with paint in his hair and on his clothes, his eyes bright and shining and his energy completely uncontained. He had no sense of self control or when to be quiet or calm. Most often he wasn't even found at home, as he went to school and then hung out with friends he'd made on the streets.

It was instantly incredibly obvious the drastic difference between the two boys, and people had been bidding on which one would succeed and which one would flop the very first second Bruce had been born. Every bet was on Bruce making it.

Despite everything, Y/n and Bruce got along very well. Y/n was rather emotional and got upset very quickly when he was ignored, which worked quite nicely with Bruce's curiosity. Y/n could go on for hours about the same thing and Bruce would listen. Bruce could ask questions about one painting for just as long and Y/n would eagerly answer each one, going into as much detail as possible. Y/n pulled Bruce out of his comfort zone and gave him a little fun outside of the expectations that were constantly pressing down on him. Likewise, Bruce took up the mantle and allowed Y/n the complete freedom to be himself and be appreciated for it.

Even the boys' parents had a pretty steady relationship with Y/n. They found him to be a little much, but with Bruce leaving them reassured that their company would be in a pair of capable hands, they were perfectly fine with letting Y/n go absolutely wild. As log as he was safe and everything he did was legal. They might live in Gotham, but the Waynes were good people and that wasn't changing anytime soon.

Overall, they were a very happy family.

Everything changed the night Thomas and Martha Wayne were shot dead on a way home from a movie they'd taken Bruce to.

It had been a night out like any other. Y/n stayed home as usual- it was the only time he could turn his music all the way up and completely lose himself in whatever he wanted to. The others didn't mind. It let Y/n blow off steam and made him much calmer for a while; in addition, they had a night out together and got to bond with Bruce. Sometimes they'd take just Y/n, and sometimes Y/n and Bruce would go out together without their parents, but most of the time it was Thomas and Martha and Bruce, and each Wayne was okay with that.

Y/n was staring at a half painted canvas, eyes wide and fingers trailing the path of his lips. He was loving the loudness and the thumping of the beat under his feet. Like it was in his blood. He smiled, raising the paintbrush.

The door busted open. "Y/N!"

Y/n spun around, startled. In the sharp movement, he knocked over a tiny bowl full of paint. Alfred reached over, turning the music off. "Your parents were shot and killed. Bruce is home early." Red paint dripped down the easel and over Y/n's shoes as the words tried to sink in but failed.It was like looking at something see through or invisible. Like feeling the breeze and wishing to catch it, but never able to close your fingers around empty air. Y/n just couldn't comprehend what Alfred was saying. Sensing his shock, Alfred moved closer. His voice was softer when he repeated, "Y/n. Bruce needs you. He won't admit it, but I can't help him lone.He won;t even admit he needs help. He might open up to you."

"No," Y/n choked out. Martha Wayne was far too kind and gentle. She was warmth and safety incarnate. Something so good and bright wasn't allowed to fade. Like yellow paint,or the sun. She always came back in the morning Always. And Thomas Wayne was... unbreakable. Unshakable. Impossible to even faze, let alone kill. He was unbeatable. Nothing could kill him. He'd live forever. Or, at the very least, go out at his own time when he was completely sure he was ready to. "No."

"Yes," Alfred insisted, shaking Y/n's shoulders violently. Y/n flinched. "Please-"

Without another word, Y/n pushed away from Alfred and sped to Bruce's room. He didn't even knock. Bruce was sitting on his bed, his eyes haunted and his lips resting in a soft frown. His hands were in his lap as he perched on the edge of the bed like he was planning to run any second, but he also seemed cemented in place as if he couldn't go anywhere even if he wanted to. He was scary still, and as his eyes slowly moved from the floor to meet Y/n's gaze, the older Wayne shivered at the darkness in his gaze. "Bruce?"

Bruce nodded stiffly in forced greeting. "Y/n."

Y/n bit his lip. Bruce's gaze fell to Y/n's feet and widened, his hands tightening on his knees. Y/n looked down to see the red paint still on his shoe, beginning to dry, and immediately felt sick. "So-" he cut off, his throat burning like he'd swallowed acid."So they're really-"

"Yeah," Bruce interrupted.

"You were there."

"Yeah."

Silence fell like a piano from a fifth story building. Even when the silence left, the feeling didn't. Both boys were suddenly being crushed under the weight of a ginormous object neither of them could see let alone explain or find the strength to remove. It stayed through the funeral, and onward. It manifested differently for each boy.

Bruce began to dig into his parents' murder, sifting through file after file, night after night. He got little sleep and ate even less often. At least he wasn't hurting himself anymore. That he had done a lot right before Alfred, Y/n, and Jim Gordon had all teamed up to knock him out of it.

Y/n was thrown into the world of business. He was torn away from everything he cared about. His freedom and dreams were stolen ad he was forced to clean up and get into a suit and start taking care of the family company- at least until Bruce was ready. In a few months he lost not only the things he enjoyed and his parents, but also his friends and the easy going way of life. He was beaten down and forced to be calm and collected. He was taught how to not deal with emotions like real men do and handle business that needed to get taken care of. He wasn't a person anymore. He was a tool.

It was unbearable for Bruce. He was losing all of his family in one go and as he tried to fight to make sense of it or keep anything of his old life, people kept trying to knock him down a peg and remind him that he was a child. Even though Y/n, barely 14, was apparently old enough to have the world on his shoulders when he was completely and totally not able to handle it in any way. It was supposed to be Bruce's job.

Finally he managed to prove his capabilities, but not in time to save Y/n. He had been rung out by the press and pushed to the brink and then over by the people at Wayne Enterprises. When he got his free time back, he didn't spend it watching the stars or the sun rise and fall. He didn't spend it painting dogs and lamps. He didn't spend it doodling and ranting to Bruce about all the things he found wonderful about the world. He spent each and every second he had locked in his room, painting.

The colors of each work began to get darker, the themes more twisted. They got better as he fixated on one thing only... unfortunately, that thing was death.

Y/n was spiraling. He didn't take care of himself and sometimes didn't come out of his room for days. Bruce tried to get through to him, but it seemed that something really bad had happened while everyone had expected him to be in charge. The thing was, there were no hints about it and of course no one at the company would fess up about anything. Y/n wouldn't talk about it. Anytime anyone even mentioned Wayne Enterprises, he would pull away and become unresponsive.

Then the Maniax began wreaking havoc.

Y/n's focus suddenly changed. He wasn't fascinated per say by the horrible things going wrong, but more the people that were committing the heinous acts. One day Bruce finally got him to talk about it, and all Y/n had to say was, "I mean, who does that? Who goes around just killing people like it doesn't mean anything? For no reason? Look at the redhead- he shoots one of his own guys for no reason- Look, right there. What kind of mental state would someone have to be in to be so flippant about taking a life?"

The obsession with the Maniax was soon followed by an obsession of killers in general. He was found constantly reading history books about some of the world's worst killers. Then, about Gotham's worst killers specifically.

That was why Bruce went to him when he began to get involved with that same redhead that had set Y/n down this path in the very beginning. "What do you think drives him? I mean, why do what he does?" Bruce asked his brother one day. It had been quite a while since they'd sat down and talked like this. When Bruce would ask questions about something Y/n fixated on and Y/n answered with pure eagerness. This had been the first time the information had been useful or had a realistic application, and it was upsetting.

"Probably some mental disorders. Perhaps some childhood trauma. He's probably immensely desensitized..." He paused. "Jerome Velaska is actually quite odd. He's probably just psychotic, with some serious abandonment issues and a sort of god complex. He wants to be seen and known and craves endless adoration and attention. He'll do anything to get what he wants, and doesn't have the patience or tolerance for anything else. That's why he acts out- it's like he has the mind of a child. He didn't get his way and now he's going to pitch a fit and chuck his toys. His toys being people and the fit being murder."

Bruce swallowed. "That's demented."

"Hm?" Y/n hummed. He blinked then forced himself to nod. He had zoned out and not blinked to bring himself back to the present. "Yeah. He's totally messed up."

Bruce tried not to ask Y/n about Jerome again after that. There had been a strange light in his eyes. A dangerous interest that made Bruce... nervous.

Everything came to a climatic bang when Alfred took the two brothers out to a charity banquet held in honor of a children's hospital. He'd only managed to get Y/n out because he'd been more energetic recently. More in a good mood. A little more like himself. In favor of seeing Y/n be so much like he used to, neither Alfred nor Bruce questioned it.

Boy did they wish they had though.

The night was seeming to pan out rather dull until the Magician came out. Y/n loved Magicians. He always had. He found their skill to pull off even the most obvious tricks was rather impressive. So when the Magician on stage asked for a volunteer and Bruce was chosen, Y/n was a little disheartened.

Bruce, however, seemed that he would rather do anything else. He had been nagging to leave anyway. Y/n stepped forward. "I can go up for you if you want," he offered.

The woman smiled and on stage, the Magician announced, "Ah yes! Just as well, just as well. Please, join us." The woman held out her hand for Y/n and he took it immediately.

Gotham hadn't seen Y/n in a very long time. People tittered and clapped and Y/n felt nervous. He hadn't been in front of a crowd since-

No, he wouldn't think about that. Tonight it was just some good fun and he'd be okay with that. Wasn't he allowed to have fun every once in a while?

The Magician greeted Y/n then opened a box, motioning for him to get in. He did, with a bounce in his step and excitement in his eyes. The box lid closed over top Y/n and the slats were put in place. It was the classic "sawed in half" trick. Y/n was immediately put off though. It would ruin the magic if an audience member did the trick. The assistant always did this trick, because it required a lot of trick of the eye to work. This way, he'd just get cut in-

Y/n's eyes went wide. The Magician above him smiled deviously.

"Does this handsome gentleman have a name?" Suddenly Y/n's body went cold. He knew that voice. Had heard it again and again and again on tv. He had seen that exact smile accompanying it. He was torn between the horror of the very real possibility of death at any second, and awe at finally meeting the man he'd been unable to get out of his head for the last significant amount of time. Since the whole bus full of high schoolers had almost been set on fire and that soon-to-be familiar face was all over the screen during the news broadcast about it. That face that had been and would be on every news broadcast for quite sometime. The Magician hummed, raising his eyebrows, and Y/n swallowed.

"Y/n," he said. There was no point now. He was trapped and at this man's mercy. What could he do? Cry for help? The most anyone would do is laugh it off, even if he could manage to get the lump out of his throat and get any coherent message across. Plus, something far more demanding kept him silent.

An extremely dangerous sense of curiosity.

If he was going to die tonight anyway, he might as well take his last moments to see what Jerome Valeska was like up close.

"Y/n," the not-magician repeated, musing over the name. "Well, Y/n, this won't hurt a bit." He clanged the two large saws together and Y/n felt breathless. What was he doing?! This was absolute madness! "Is there a doctor in the house?" The crowd laughed. The crowd LAUGHED. Of course they laughed. They always laughed. No one cared about Y/n Wayne.

Suddenly Alfred's voice sounded out, rather panicked. Y/n looked over, surprised. Of all people, Y/n didn't think it would have been Alfred who would have intervened. Alfred had been much too wrapped up in taking care of Bruce. Such as everyone was. Despite that, it was him to stumbled out, "Just- wait- excuse--" He held up a hand, everything going quiet and still as he tripped forward. "Just wait, wait, wait one second."

Jerome didn't wait.

The saw came down.

To his own shock, Y/n was fine.

The assistant rolled away his lower half and then returned it just in time for Jerome to lean close and whisper, "Give em a wave." Y/n looked directly into his eyes and his smile wavered. They were a pretty color. Brown, littered with slight blues and green that came alive under the stage lighting.

"I know who you are." The words wouldn't have been heard by anyone else other than Jerome- even if it wasn't for the clapping. Jerome froze, but Y/n didn't wait. He stood, waved to the audience to show he was alright, and then allowed the assistant to take him back to his place next to Bruce and Alfred.

When Jerome spoke gain, his words seemed to be a little different. Y/n placed the emotion when he turned back around again and saw Jerome's eyes glued intently to Y/n. He wasn't blinking. "Some say Y/n here has a split personality." The audience laughed at the pun and then his voice lightened again as he moved onto his next trick. As he called up the mayor an the set up began, the assistant's mask fell off.

Y/n gasped. He knew that face too. Unmistakable. Barbara Keene. Of course. How did Y/n not see that far sooner?

"I should warn you," Jerome teased lightly. "No one is getting out of here tonight alive." The audience laughed and Y/n thought he would feel terror at the words. What was stopping him now? He could whisper to Bruce or Alfred. To that nice lady from before-

It was then that Y/n realized Lee Thompkins was gone.

Jerome flung a knife straight into the Mayor's gut and Bruce stepped forward, gasping in time with the crowd. Y/n was torn. Why was he torn?! This was simple! Stop this! Right? Surely he could do something.

And yet... he found he didn't want to. God what the hell was wrong with him?

The Mayor fell and people began panicking. The gun shot started and Y/n moved without thinking, slipping behind a curtain and out of sight. He began to move through the curtains until he was far enough fromAlfred not to be stopped, then he was ducking to make sure he didn't get shot- and he waited.

He saw Jerome and Barbara tie up Lee and then make a call. He spoke loudly- it wasn't hard to make out at least one side of the conversation. His demands didn't make sense. They didn't line up at all with his character. Why...?

His maniacal laughter suddenly cut off as he turned to face his newly terrified audience. The moment was interrupted, though, by a new voice. "Enough!" Y/n stepped out from hiding to get a better view, only to see a man he didn't know. That was a new experience on this night where Y/n seemed to be able to put a name to ever face in this room that mattered. "It's time for you to pack up your little sideshow and leave," the man continued. Jerome was still grinning. That didn't make sense either. Why didn't he seemed bummed that his fun was getting interrupted, or a little tentative around the new player he hadn't planned his game around? How had this guy even gotten in, with all the guards outside? It felt off. Y/n could sense it immediately. Even the man spoke like he was... reading lines.

And Jerome responded in the exact same way. Like he was in a show. Like he was acting.

The movements of the two men and the way they formed words seemed so out of place. Even the shot of the gun Barbara used... none of it seemed natural.

Without thinking, Y/n stepped forward. The small noise his steps made immediately caught Jerome's attention. His eyes light up, his smile relaxing to a much more natural place. This was Jerome. The change was impossible to miss for Y/n, who had been carefully studying him so long.

"You," Jerome called, pointing directly at Y/n for the first time tonight. This felt even more thrilling than when Bruce had been picked. Now there was no charade or manipulation. It was just Jerome and Y/n. "Come here." He held up a gun, obviously ready to threaten someone's life to get Y/n to obey, but he was already moving before the words could leave Jerome's mouth. "What a nice boy." Y/n should have been at least pretending to be phased, but he was far too caught up in analyzing Jerome that he didn't think about how his step was confident and unfaltering, taking him to Jerome without any hesitation. He didn't think about the expression on his face, but how it made Jerome specifically respond. By simply having an emotion other than fear, Y/n had caught Jerome's attention and was reveling in it. Jerome could see that too, and it seemed to entertain him even more.

"You just gonna stare at me all day?" Y/n whispered softly, trying not to let his lips twitch into a smirk. Was he... flirting? It felt like he was suddenly outside of his body, watching this train wreck happen, unsure of who was in control or why he was doing anything he was.

Jerome seemed to be absolutely loving it. "Stand here with me." His voice was soft as silk, near purring. Y/n moved to where he motioned and stayed silent. The problem with his new placement: everyone could see his reactions now, not just Jerome. It was time to start acting at the very least.

Turns out he didn't much need to.

Jerome was easily terrifying as he was charismatic.

Every time Y/n thought he had caught on to Jerome schtick, he did something that threw Y/n off completely again. It was all fun and games, playing at murder but then pulling out some joke shot that didn't really make any sense. Did he actually want to keep all of us hostage? Wasn't it enough to have a few? Bruce, me and Alfred because Bruce was Gotham's golden boy, and he wouldn't let anything happen to me or Alfred. Lee Thompkins because she was his bargaining chip. The four of us would be plenty enough of a bargaining chip, maybe a handful more just in case. Why spare everyone, if he really did like killing so much?

There was something to Jerome that really intrigued Y/n. He wondered what the maniac was really thinking. What really drove him to act this way. To take control of a whole room full of Gotham's richest of the most well meaning... only to ask for ridiculous, nonsensical demands and not kill a single one of us.

Again Y/n got that sense, like something else major was actually happening here.

Y/n was zoning out. Missing things. He couldn't focus on the act going. The show that had more layers than what was originally apparent. He missed the whole throw down with Barbara and Lee as well, but caught the gist: Barbara was apparently in love with JimGordon and fancied that they'd end up together. Lee was apparently getting in the way of that. Blah, blah, blah. Girl drama and psychopaths and romance and delusion. Barbara almost killed Lee. Jerome stopped her. So on and so forth.

Then, Jerome attention was on Y/n again all of a sudden, even though he'd been carefully ignoring the boy he'd called up on stage until that point. He grinned at Y/n, the knife he'd taken fromBarbara manifesting in Jerome's hand. The redhead used it more like a finger than a weapon. He ran the dull side of the back of the blade under Y/n's chin, the flipped it so the blade was pressed gently to Y/n's skin. "My favorite volunteer," he said slowly, stepping far too close for what should have been comfortable. "You know, I've seen you on TV."

"And I, you." He hadn't meant to respond, but it had slipped out before he could stop it.

Jerome's head tilted as he popped his chin in pride. "Well, of course. I was meant to be on the big screen. I made my own way. It was my choice to end up where everyone could see me." He took a deep breath in. "You, however... what a scandal." Suddenly Y/n couldn't breath. Jerome roared in giddy, insane laughter. "There he is!" He turned to the audience, motioning to the slight shake of Y/n's body and the sickly pale tint to his skin. "There's that fear! That fear or hate or disgust or whatever it is you all feel for me... except for you." He looked back at Y/n. "We're so similar, Y/n," he sighed. "I'm an orphan too, you know. I don't fear death either."

"You killed your parents," Y/n managed to get out through gritted teeth.

Jerome tilted his head back and forth. "Details, details." The knife was at Y/n's throat again. "You're no fun anymore, you know. Everyone stops being fun at some point. I will give you one thing: you lasted longer than most." The knife pressed further into Y/n's throat and he sucked in a sharp breath as it broke skin, a single drop of blood making a vibrant path down his pale skin.

Gun shots. Suddenly Jerome spun, pressing Y/n's back to his chest, moving the blade so Y/n's was a hostage instead of the focused on target. There was a bit of chaos in the crowd, and Y/n's eyes widened to see Alfred and Jim Gordon of all people mowing through Jerome's lackies. Jim turned his barrel toward Y/n and Jerome. "Let him go!" He shouted. Jerome's giggle rang right next to Y/n's ear. Whatever weird spell from before that had Y/n controlled and calm and still broke and he flinched back away from the blade. Unfortunately, that only brought him closer to Jerome. After a second Jim defeatedly announced, "I don't have a clean shot. Jerome shifted, obviously eager in his moment of victory.

"Stay calm, Y/n," Alfred eased. Bruce was shuffling, knowing it wouldn't help to rush in but having to use every bit of his self control to stop himself from doing just that. He couldn't lose Y/n too. His brother was part of the quickly dwindling family he still had left.

Jerome's breath sounded in Y/n's ear as he gritted his teeth, switching from plying a game to planning an escape. Of course he wanted to get out of here alive. "It seems like we've got ourselves in a bit of a pickle. "What do you say Sweetheart?" Jerome mumbled in his ear. He was twitching, rocking a little from foot to foot. "Why don't we boost our ratings, hm?" The knife moved from one side of Y/n's throat to the other, drawing the smallest line of blood. Y/n gasped, his body shaking in suddenly very real fear. He wondered if this is how his parents had felt, or if they'd died too fast to really be afraid of dying at all. "Smile." Jerome began his wild, broken chittering of a laugh again.

This was familiar. Jerome had been waiting all night to kill someone, and for whatever reason he hadn't. Unfortunately, that meant he was definitely not going to hesitate to now. Y/n closed his eyes, and echoing, "NO!" Coming from his younger brother before he was sure he was about to be enveloped by darkness.

"I said, enough." Jerome let go of Y/n in surprise and both boys turned, unsure where to move from here. Not knowing how to switch gears. There stood the man from earlier. Theo Galavant. Theo grabbed Jerome by the color and drove a knife into the side of his neck. Y/n made a weird, half-choking, half-squeaking sound as the blade made impact into flesh, the audience gasping behind him.

Y/n couldn't move. He fell backwards, tripping over his own feet and barely catching himself as he made his way off the stage and to the ground. Theo must have thought he was further, but he heard it. He heard what the man said next. "I know, I know, I know," he cooed as Jerome choked, dying. Y/n blinked, trying to clear his head. So many thoughts were swimming through it and his chest had begun to tighten and twist. He couldn't breathe. He could still hear though. "This isn't what we rehearsed. I'm so sorry Jerome. You have real talent! But no, you see, the plot thickens. Enter: the hero."

Something horrible settled into Y/n's stomach as Jerome spoke again, his voice weak and raspy. "You... said... I was... gonna be..." He died before the sentence could finish, and Y/n was running. Ramming into Bruce, the boys holding each other tightly as Alfred enveloped them both with his arms.

"It's over," Alfred reassured. "You're safe now, Y/n, it's okay."

The words sounded sincere and full of relief, but Y/n couldn't shake that things were far from over. In fact, he was sure they'd only just begun.

#jerome valeska #jerome valeska x reader #jerome valeska imagine #bruce wayne #gotham #gotham imagine #gotham x reader #joker #joker imagine #joker x reader #male reader #jerome valeska x male reader #joker x male reader

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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The Live Action Fullmetal Alchemist Movie Part 6: Let’s Kill Hughes

Hey guys, I’ve been having some issues with the blog not...updating my drafts. So in case you’re wondering, that’s where I disappeared to. Give a round of applause to the support team for finding a solution until it gets fixed but as of right now I’m on like a private window with my extensions turned off and writing this from both tumblr and a LibreOffice document. Hello ads, nice to see you back.

Last we left off, we were a hop and skip away to lab 5. In the anime, this was a sequence where there was a bunch of fighting with suits of armor, and they kept that in this movie, but...not the people you think would be fighting are going to be fighting.

Listen I’m not like super knowledgeable about the world of Matte painting, but I like that they’ve unintentionally made this world building where whoever is in charge of making these red bricks basically owns everyone’s nuts. Everything is made out of the same red bricks. Like I know this is a show about homunculi ruling the world but I feel like the red brick guy is hellllllla more egregious. Freakin Monsanto over here.

I assume they had a 3d model and was like “we can just keep using it” and damn, they sure did. And inside of this brick building is, unsurprisingly a lot more red brick (although I think this is partially, if not entirely, an actual real life set.)

This next part is...such a lesson in pacing. Not necessarily a lesson to follow, but definitely a lesson to learn from maybe their non-example.

(watch Hughes die under the cut)

And what’s interesting is that there were a lot of good lines in this upcoming segment. There were a lot of good moments—bu there’s just so many. Maybe too many. You gotta prune your script occasionally, it’s like a tomato plant.

Like I’ve been doing a stress garden to cope with quarantine and Covid and 3+ months of life endangering wildfires, and I learned that you gotta prune the sucker vines off your tomatoes, although sucker vines can also make tomatoes. It sucks to do because I love tomatoes, and I want as many tomatoes as possible, but when you prune the plant, you get bigger better tomatoes that are more worthwhile than the suckers that can infect your plant and make it really sick.

Sorry that made me sound like 5000 years old with that gardening analogy. If you need me to solve your small town murder mysteries, I’m ready.

So it’s like...kind of tragic that it came together as kind of nonsensical when you can tell that it’s so close to being something better.

Like we have some reason up to this point to believe that Ed would have a freak out here...but like...a sobbing on the floor screaming at the walls type of freak out? Was there enough time devoted to this blow up, or did he walk into this room and immediately start screaming? Because he sure did walk immediately into this room and start screeching like a broken bird.

Like last recap, which was about 2 minutes ago in screentime, was this fun and quirky montage with Hughes. Now we’re sobbing into this rusty factory.

And I know what’s going on because I’ve seen the anime, but if you haven’t seen it—would this emotional break down make any sense? We were told by Dr Marcoh, “check out lab 5,” but we were only going to this factory on kind of a wish and a prayer. I really wonder if people who don’t know this show could follow past this point.

And then while we’re still adjusting to “yo, Ed just took it from a 2 to a 10 like immediately” Al is like “Hey I noticed no one is paying attention to me, and I have to lay a wicked fart:”

and then both brother’s just have a freak out. Gotta all be freaking out in this random ass Unity asset that was probably also used for some college grad’s first battle royale.

Pacing is just everything. And what’s SO HARD about Full Metal Alchemist is that there really is a lot of content to cover, there’s a lot of emotions to go through, and when you only have about 7 minutes to cover what was about 3-4 episodes, if I remember correctly, it’s kind of a zany mess.

And if you were going into this movie hoping they wouldn’t illustrate Al as a large idiot baby, then you share the sentiments of most people who saw this movie. Al is like...kind of reduced to a whiny big baby and is...not cute. Like Al is low key kind of menacing throughout this movie, not just because he has this CGI armor thing going on, but also because Al is...so impressionable and unhinged.

Something that I didn’t appreciate enough when I watched the anime was just how important Barry the Chopper was for Al’s logical character development.

Yo...These bangs…

...I’ve realized that every show I recap here just has the worst hair styles. I honestly never thought much about hair at all until I watched like 200 hours of Yugioh and all of this movie and also 6 seasons of Once Upon a Time which featured some LOOKS (but only recapped like 3 episodes, sorry if I got some of y’all excited. That was when we had no reason to cap everything because the capping community for Once was very alive and very exciting.)

By hitting him with a wrench (Al does not feel pain, ps, so he doesn’t need to be hunched over like this) Winry reminds Al that Ed would not risk his life for a fake brother (which may be a line from the anime or the manga but I don’t remember) and crying just...a lot.

Like it felt as if she had to shoot all of this out of order. Same with Ed’s freak out here. Movie’s aren’t really shot in succession and it’s up to the director to make it feel coherent and logical...this felt scattered, like the actors really didn’t know what was happening in the scenes leading up to it so they just cranked it to 11.

And then I guess Ed was either so insulted that Al punched him or was so upset that Al made Winry cry (again, this movie really tries to sell the EdxWinry ship and from me that’s a really big compliment), that Ed just started laying punches to extend a fight scene that was kind over before it started.

But symbolically there is a lot nice things going on here, Ed only uses his fleshy hand so he bleeds all over Al, hurting himself as much he’s hurting his brother. Implying more than just this fight, but suggesting that their whole journey of trying to find this sorcerer’s stone is just going to hurt both of them in their quest to save the other.

And then Al says something along the line of “it hurts!” to infer that he’s got this broken heart which is when they both finally just freakin stop.

Such a shame the pacing, which was a mix of too quick, and too many tomatoes, kind of made it hella blindsiding.

Again this was so many episodes of FMA and they stuffed it into so few minutes, it’s wild.

Especially since Ed is like...he’s cast as an adult! He’s an adult! At no point in the movie so far have they called him a kid, and they’re not pretending that he is one. But like...he acts like such a child because in the original, he was one. And, while this movie steps so far away from the source material, if should have committed and either stepped completely away or committed completely. Of course “should” is one of those things where we’ll just never know. A wish into the ether of hindsight being 20/20.

But lets get to the thing that you all came here for. This is where this movie gets BONKERS:

So Hughes actually draws out a pentagram between the different places in Armestrias, including Ishvaal, leading us to think that he’s figured out the whole dealio of turning the country into an alchemy circle. But, for some reason only helps him find the real lab 5.

It didn’t...that’s a different thing.

And it has been a long time since I’ve seen the ending of this movie—and maybe it was so offhand that I forgot if they actually do bring up turning the country into an alchemy circle--watch me eat my words, it could happen—but yo, we are finally killing Hughes—but we’re over halfway through this movie. And you may wonder...so uh...what...then what could possibly happen? There’s too much anime left!

Now I’m glad they kept this scene really close to the anime, although I haven’t watched the anime in a hot minute. It’s kind of an iconic scene so you don’t forget.

Like I do genuinely enjoy the campy parts where they were bringing up some of my favorite nostalgia of the original.

and then when you are like “ah, this is exactly the same as the anime. I can relax and watch as all my expectations are fully realized.” This twist happens.

YAH.

It’s a change!

So in the anime we had a really fun arc where we were trying to save Lieutenant Ross for being framed for killing Hughes. It’s probably my favorite part of Full Metal Alchemist, actually, it was so clever and a really thrilling chase. It was also like...half of season one.

Anyway, they cut it. They reduced half a season into 7 minutes. I know that, because each of these recaps is about 15 minutes of the movie.

You may look at this recap and be like “wait...this all happened in 15 minutes??” because yeah, this all happened in 15 minutes.

The same squad of people we see in every single scene of soldiers comes up to arrest Ed, which is weird, because I thought this band of soldiers was the military under Cl. Mustang’s command so like…shouldn’t they be arresting themselves? Mustang was over the command of more than 2 people. If we are suspicious of Mustang’s buddies then everyone in this movie would be in trouble.

And that’s when I realized that these guys were just unnamed soldiers and not a part of Mustang’s band. They only had like this many extras and just hoped we wouldn’t keep track of who is who, but I KNOW I’ve seen these guys this whole time. There are only like 6 people in this army. I see you movie magic—I see what you’re trying to do.

Anyway, Ed gets thrown into an old timey opera house that occasionally gets to be used for Middle School graduations. Or maybe also a mortuary where they charge you for funerals.

Like I know it’s supposed to be the capital building but like...this looks so weird when it’s live action. I remember the anime had this kinda feel to it but in live action it’s like…

...this is a weird ass capital building…Why do they have curtains like a Granny Holiday Inn in Reno, Nevada?

Thankfully, Hawkeye is here to explain to Ed what just happened because we, the movie viewers, were kind of surprised by that plot twist.

Like there were many ways you can condense half a season into 15 minutes, and I dunno if I would have just changed the murderer. It is a solution you can do. You can just point blame on Mustang and skip that whole Ross segment but like….

…then why write the movie?

Obviously, they had to make the movie, it had already been funded, people were really excited about the idea, and I do not envy the people that had to hack and slash with the Full Metal Alchemist script, but it is interesting what they decided was important to the original content, and what was unimportant. All that stuff that showed how Mustang was brilliant and two steps ahead of everyone else? Unimportant. All that stuff we had that showed how Mustang cares a lot about protecting other people and also cares about Ed and Al? Unimportant.

It really changes the dynamic, and it’s kind of fascinating to go into this cold because it’s been like...a year for me since I’ve watched it...and just see how different everything is without all those supporting characters that when I watched the anime I just assumed were mostly useless (Though fun). Turns out they all had a pretty significant part of making me care about Ed, about Mustang, about Al, about all my main characters.

FMA is very character driven, and this movie is mostly just...plot driven. There’s kind of a great debate in literature about plot driven vs character driven. Movies and TV tend to be very plot driven, because they are very expensive to make, so they follow pre-formatted plot beats like “Save the Cat” or “The Heroes Journey” and other ones (there’s several to choose from).

They’ve made a fine science out of at what point a TV show should introduce the main, at what point they should suffer doubt, at what point they should shun their hero’s journey, etc etc. They know it down to the page number of the scripts they are writing. I know this, because it’s readily available on the internet and people fight about it all the time. This is why a show may suffer developing a character—because they just don’t have time and they just don’t have the resources to do something out of the box. Movies doubly so, because every minute of film can cost thousands of dollars.

What’s interesting about this is that FMA, the original FMA, does follow these beats. It was a manga sold by a huge publisher so it had to follow those beats. But, it has managed to do it while still being character driven. Yo, that’s so hard to do. This story was already written to be hyper condensed and structured when it was made into a Manga, and then it was condensed again for an anime, and then it was condensed yet again for this movie. It’s like a game of telephone, and at one end you have a very character driven story, and then at the other, it’s just totally plot.

Like it’s just a really huge risk to take. This was really, really risky.

PS did you miss Shou? Did you think we’d be done with Shou Tucker? No. Because this movie is gonna end at some point and rather than introduce other people...we’re just gonna stick with Shou and only have one miniboss.

(It has a freakin radiator in it?)

So then this next part happens and it’s low key hilarious.

The whole time.

Mustang and Hawkeye knew what lab 5 was this entire time but Ed just never asked for some reason despite working with those two for what is inferred to be YEARS since his childhood.

Hey PS, did you miss that brick building? Because it’s back.

Anyway, Mustang decides to take this underground where we can recycle the tech crew posing as extras that we used in the shot above us. Would not be surprised if a few of these are someone’s husband or wife on set.

Usually when I watch a movie I don’t get this feeling so much. But this movie...the latter half is like...EMPTY.

...this is going to be all movies made during Covid, I just realized…

Mustang is stopped by an angry Lieutenant Ross, and then we get this series of events.

And when you’re like “...Sorry?” Mustang’s like “I can make it weirder.”

And he just, without any warning or anything, lights Lieutenant Ross on fire. Multiple times, and it’s pretty intense and everyone who’s holding a gun just watches it happen is like…

...well I guess it’s too late to just shoot the guy...

…and like do you seriously not carry around a fire extinguisher when you are trying to manhunt Mustang? This is the one guy you want to wear fireproof clothes around. You have the technology. You at least have the technology for buckets of water. Like no one want to throw a blanket on her?

Just want to...watch? I guess?

Mustang just looks like a nut from this series of events instead of a genius--which is what I think they were originally going for. The pacing does that, youknow? Pacing.

And, out of the corpse pile stands Envy.

Envy has a pretty good look, I appreciated his whole look and that unlike the anime where you only find out Envy is a guy because someone told you on a forum somewhere and you were like “wait WHAT?” the movie is live action so you won’t make that mistake and embarrass yourself online.

Ed has only ever seen Lust once, and she walked in from off screen, stabbed a guy, and walked off. He’s just like...having a time because he’s done zero research into homunculi, and really, at no point in this movie are we going to give him time to figure it out.

Also, there’s this shot where Lust and Gluttony just walk in from behind them in the tunnel and it’s like…

….so no one noticed these two just hanging out back there?

It’s so freakin funny. This movie is gold. I love it.

Now If you just got here, this is a link to read all these recaps in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/fma/chrono

Have a good one, and stay safe! 2021 has been...weird nuts...and it’s still January somehow??? Weird times. Overall, please stay safe, it’s weird out there.

Also, if you’re like “I don’t remember this scene actually” here’s the original Hughes dies scene that inspired the movie (since the movie definitely was like “we’re only going inspired for this one nerds, get mad”)--some shots were inspired cut for cut.

youtube

And obvi this is on Youtube so it’ll probably get taken down eventually, but that’s why it’s flipped.

#FMA #FMA movie #FMA live action movie #recap #Fullmetal alchemist #hughes #roy mustang #ed elric #al elric #winry #I've had to write these tags twice now because tumblr won't SAVE MY DRAFTS #photo recap

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happymetalgirl · 3 years

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The 15 Worst Metal Albums of 2020

This list might have been shorter if not for my running into a few awful albums at the end of the year that I had been avoiding wisely up until that point. My morbid curiosity got the best of me, and what’s done is done. I’m paying the price for it by going back over the worst albums I heard all year. Let’s get this over with.

15. Ghøstkid - Ghøstkid

This was the debut solo album from the former singer of Eskimo Callboy, who had a pretty decent backing of hype heading into this release under the Ghøstkid moniker, but with the namesake frontman putting in no more than the standard performance on a bunch of poorly assembled tracks in an unappealing and dated poppy metalcore style, ultimately the eponymous album wound up disappointing me pretty substantially.

14. Powerman 5000 - The Noble Rot

Powerman 5000 are just such a low-rate band that even one of their more okay albums makes it here. While not as astoundingly, mind-numbingly basic as their worst material, The Noble Rot is still some of the most unevolved, underwritten, and forgettable electro rock and industrial metal I’ve heard from a big name artist. This is some eighth grade level songwriting here, and that’s a fuckin’ feat for a band that’s been around longer than any eighth grader has.

13. Corey Taylor - CMFT

There was a lot of hype around Corey Taylor finally coming out with a solo project, and it was pretty damn disappointing to hear a bunch of uninteresting classic rock too tacky for Stone Sour. CMFT focuses on the fun side that has made its creator such an enigmatic figurehead in the metal press, but its one-note approach does little more than highlight Corey Taylor’s songwriting deficiencies. I really could have seen this album turning out better too, with just some more time and care put into it, if a fun time of an album is what Taylor was going for. Unfortunately Taylor tried to make a party album and a grand ceremonial tribute to his greatness at the same time, and ego-petting and partying don’t really go hand in hand.

12. Evildead - United States of Anarchy

It has some good bones underneath it, but Evildead’s long overdue (if anyone was asking for it) third album wears out its welcome so quickly with some of the most adolescent thrash I’ve heard in a while. The band gets some good rhythms going and the vocals aren’t terrible either, fitting the older thrash style pretty well. But the band’s predictable formula tires out very quickly, and the political commentary of the lyrics is too cheesy and cringeworthy to ignore. It seems every year we get a handful of these kinds of albums that try to get into the simmering thrash revival with some ultra retro approach, and a good portion of those albums are from long-defunct bands who figure their primitive old-school approach might be a selling point despite their sounds often being even more juvenile against the backdrop of today’s metal landscape. So it’s not a huge surprise or anything to hear an album as ham-fisted and corny as United States of Anarchy; this year it just happened to be Evildead.

11. Five Finger Death Punch - F8

They may not always place highest in this list, but they always manage to make it here, and this was actually an improvement on the last album, not that that’s saying all that much. In fact, I’d say this is the only time in the band’s history that they actually shifted their trajectory upwards. But while the band’s ugly continual creative decay has been a hard thing to watch and made them the five finger punching bag of the metal world, there seems to be a large enough swath of mouthbreathing chuds who love their incoherent derivative shit and flock to their shows enough to put them in lucrative headlining slots and on top of the metal world. Goddamn that sure sounds a lot like someone else we all know doesn’t it. I’ve criticized them plenty in the past, and while indeed an improvement, F8 only mildly remedies the numerous problems with Five Finger Death Punch. Still septic to the system are the predictably formulaic and tiresome songwriting, the stale production, the corny butt rock choruses, the shitty bootlicking worldview that bleeds into Ivan Moody’s douchey and faux-deep lyrics, the contrived ballads and country-dabbling. Even with an improvement in the flow of the track listing and a few more bangers that somewhat hearken back to their first album, F8 is still an over-thought and overly calculated batch of Sirius XM fodder that’s trying to please everyone in some superficial way. I’ll grant that it seems as though the band realized they had been giving the more metal-immersed side of their fanbase that has been with them the longest smaller and smaller crumbs with each new album. I’m not gonna hold my breath for this being anything more than placating for the time being; I’m sure the next album will find the band back on whatever bullshit they feel (or their execs feel) they need to be on to pull enough streams from inattentive radio metal bros. I always end with the disclaimer that I still steadfastly stand by the band’s first two albums, and even American Capitalist to a degree, and that I totally acknowledge the immense potential for greatness this band could seemingly at any time decide to fulfill. Ivan Moody is a talented vocalist with a lot of star power and they really could have been the second coming of Pantera or singlehandedly ignited a new wave of American groove metal and metalcore or carried it on their own. But instead the band have followed the money on the path of least resistance to fast-track their way to the top of festival tickets, which I’m sure affords them quite enough luxury and comfort in life, more than most bands these days get, but it doesn’t exempt them from criticism, and unfortunately I think their legacy will show that they were a lowest common denominator kind of band at the end of the day when they could have been, again, like a second Pantera or something.

10. Anvil - Legal at Last

Another year, another album of Anvil unable to evolve past their prototypic thrash of their forty-year-old origins. Though as tacky as ever, Anvil actually also managed to make a mild improvement on their last album on the musical front at least. The songs are a little more energetic and easier to get through, if not for the lyricism though. Anvil lyrics are never anything beyond a fourth-grader’s poetry assignment for their English class, but some of the Facebook boomer lyrics here are fucking cringy dude. A quick look at the track listing will let you know exactly where you’re gonna find the juiciest cringe, but honestly, even as far as cringe goes it’s nothing comedically special and cringe culture in general is played out anyway. So do yourself a favor and just ignore Anvil the way they deserve to be ignored.

9. Halestorm - Reimagined

It feels a little harsh to place an EP here, especially for a band whose album back in 2018 was one of the best things I have heard to come out of hard rock in a long time. But these stripped back covers and revisions of songs from the band’s catalog just suck all the oomph out of them, perhaps making the case by contrast for the importance of the role the rest of the band behind the indeed charismatic powerhouse frontwoman Lzzy Hale play in making their sound what it is. It’s unlikely this points to any kind of new direction for them, so I’m not particularly worried about them running into this problem again. Plus, I don’t think Halestorm and Lzzy Hale are like fundamentally incompatible with more ballad-y rock music, this forced balladization of older songs just did not work, and it makes perfect sense as to why.

8. Gama Bomb - Sea Savage

The fact that this album is only number 8 on this list is just depressing for its reminder of just how much shittier it got this year. The fact that there are seven albums from this yet worse than Sea Savage, goddamn. With one exception, this was maybe the stupidest album I heard all year, at least in the thrash department it was. God this thing is a sugar high mess. I feel like a toddler on an entire bag of Halloween candy or an elementary schooler on a 2-liter of Mountain Dew sat at a computer to program a thrash album would’ve probably come up with something like this. The erratic operatic highs and dumbass lyrics, it all just embodies everything that ever made thrash look bad. It’s like that drunk guy at a party who’s hyper as shit and doing a bunch of crazy stunts for attention because he thinks it’ll make the people there like him more, but really he’s just embarrassing himself. Yeah, definitely the worst thrash metal album I heard all year, and one I wish I could unhear.

7. Amaranthe - Manifest

One of the albums I was avoiding but reviewed late out of my own weird sense of obligation that I wasn’t surprised to find only validated my reasons for avoiding it in the first place. The weird combo of dancy pop music and power metal isn’t as crazy of an idea as it might seem at first thought. In fact, that’s basically in part what Babymetal are doing, and actually getting better and better at. But Amaranthe get the worst of both worlds with Manifest, unsavory pop melodies and utterly generic symphonic metal to make for something I’m not at all surprised I was so repulsed by.

6. Trapt - Shadow Work

Yep, I listened to it. God, no wonder this band is flailing in irrelevance with aggressive MAGA nonsense being their only audible desperate plea for attention. The album, thank fuck, isn’t steeped in the same bitch boy tantrum that the band’s singer has engaged in all year to the point of getting his band’s Facebook page banned for hate speech, and the music isn’t like offensively poorly made or anything like that either. There’s clearly a conscious meeting of the baseline requirements for the type of music they make, but holy fuck it’s so damn flavorless and predictable. It’d be one thing if this was the trendy thing to be doing, but this diet hard rock for people who think Three Days Grace is too wild has been out of fashion for over a decade. And Trapt are just recycling the same dumb formula that overstayed it’s welcome in the early 2000’s. Yeah, I’m not surprised at all, but god, it’s the kind of thing that has to be apparent to the band themselves too unless they’re lacking of any and all self-awareness. Trapt have thrown themselves to the forefront of the online metal world’s discourse by being an annoying, toxic, and childish presence all year; the silver lining being the unity among metalheads in roasting their laughable posturing about their Pandora numbers and the juicy memes about their one hit “Headstrong” that rile the snowflake singer up without fail. And this shit album is just another reason to laugh at them and more fuel to roast their crybaby Trumper frontman with. Go back into your hole, Trapt. 3/10

5. Unleash the Archers - Abyss

I talked about it in my review, but there really is only one simple thing that sinks this album so low. And that is just how incredibly low-effort and lifeless it is with a genre that’s supposed to be so life-affirming. Power metal isn’t the most highly revered genre in metal, but that’s just for its cheesiness. I love it; when it’s at its best, it’s some of the most inspiring metal music out there and I genuinely wish there was a bigger demand across the board for it. But Unleash the Archers just sound so flat and unenthusiastic in this album, and, sorry, in power metal, unabashed enthusiasm is just nonnegotiable. The guitar parts are phoned in and lacking in imagination, and the vocals especially are so narrow-range, it’s all so antithetical to the ethos of power metal and it doesn’t make a strong case for itself. I’ll leave it there; this album is lazy and lifeless so I feel no need to waste any of my time and work on it.

4. Burzum - Thûlean Mysteries

Ol’ Varg must’ve needed a new wizard hat or camouflage pants or whatever goofy shit he’s been doing since retiring the Burzum name to focus on his racism and LARPing because I thought Burzum was supposed to be finished. I thought you were done with Burzum, Varg. Apparently not too done to not dump an hour and a half of embarrassingly half-baked ambient dungeon synth song fragments that sound, so many of them, quite obviously unfinished. Varg Vikernes has been a washed-up shell of the musical god the various weirdos who idolize him make him out to be for a long time now, and it has shown in the gradually degrading work he had put out after his release from prison. Yet after clearly not caring about creating music in any meaningful way for a long time, Varg drops this heap of shit in his fans’ laps. I suppose they deserve it, but I’m sure some of them are delusional enough to lap it up with a smile on their face while still believing their white nationalist idol to be a musical genius. Again, it’s entirely dull ambient music, not metal at all, but it deserves to be shit upon for its astounding laziness and purposelessness.

3. Asking Alexandria - Like a House on Fire

Doubling down on exactly the unflattering crossover of pop music with their significantly sanitized butt rock in their apparent quest for arena glory that started with their self-titled album back in 2017, Asking Alexandria’s bid for the big spotlight that Imagine Dragons occupies didn’t get any stronger this year with Like a House on Fire. After three or four years of aiming for this style, the band still aren’t even all that competent with the basics of fucking pop rock, which is pretty downright laughable. Honestly, for an album so high up here on my shit list, my feelings on it are more or less just that of unsurprised disappointment; as soon as I got a feel for what the band were doing with the album, I knew it was going to be a mess of predictable results. And lo and behold. This was just such a wholly inexcusably floppy paper towel of an album, and one more Asking Alexandria release I know I won’t be returning to ever again.

2. Hollywood Undead - New Empire, Vol. 2

Coming on at the last minute to get on the scoreboard, reliably, is Hollywood Undead. When I reviewed both volumes of this project earlier, I referred to them as “corporate Linkin Park”, and I stand by that 100%. This album especially showcases nothing but what an incoherent, vapid, clout-chasing act they are, with such a corny, focus-grouped sound that sounds like it was made in a lab by a bunch of out-of-touch boomers. God, they could’ve been safe too if they had left it with the more tolerable first volume back in January, but this follow-up sequel from just this month was exactly why I had avoided listening to the first installment in the first place. And I should’ve never played this second one either. The album opener, “Medicate”, is probably the worst song I sat through in my own volition this year, and the rest of the album doesn’t get much better. It’s nothing new for Hollywood Undead after I gave their 2017 album my award for least favorite album of that year: more unfitting interplay between machismo posturing Eminem-cosplay and the sappiest, wimpiest radio rock and pop choruses; more cringy tough-guy struggle bars; more forgettable-at-best instrumentals. Congrats again, Hollywood Undead, you made one of the worst albums of the year once again.

But even worse than Hollywood Undead is an album that I feel like is already so legendarily bad, that there is no other album that could’ve been sat here. It had to be this one.

1. Six Feet Under - Nightmares of the Decomposed

Shitty metal bands everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief any year Six Feet Under decide to put out new music because any album they release is just about bound to end up as everyone’s #1 worst album of the year, and boy is that guarantee becoming more and more airtight with each successive release. It’s truly astounding too how Six Feet Under manages to outdo themselves every time. I don’t even want to think about what could possibly come after Nightmares of the Decomposed; we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But for now, holy fermented shit, this thing is not just bad, it’s like the holy grail of terrible TERRIBLE albums and I don’t want to know what kind of apocalyptically despicable album Chris Barnes and company could possibly conjure to outdo this one. And make no mistake, it’s still Chris Barnes dragging this band down. I gave this album a 1/10 instead of a 0/10 because there was at least a sliver of salvageable instrumentation on it, as thin of a sliver as it was, a few halfway decent musical ideas of you squinted hard enough. The instrumentalists are checked out and clearly just participating for the paycheck, but I can’t even imagine what kind of professional instrumental performance could possibly overshadow the embarrassment that Chris Barnes put to tape in the studio here. Maybe that says it, because it honestly sounds utterly unprofessional. It’s baffling how this got through management and sound engineering to be released to the public because I don’t think I’ve ever even heard any amateur high school band’s vocalist sound this bad. Vocal ingenuity is generally something to be applauded in the metal world, and pioneers like Randy Blythe, Dani Filth, and Travis Ryan deserve all the praise they get for their innovation with dirty metal vocals, yet what Chris Barnes has “invented” here on Nightmares of the Decomposed to compensate for his continually-deteriorating vocals is just sad. The man simply cannot perform highs anymore, clearly, and the alternative is this fucking comical, cartoonish squealing that sounds more like a bratty toddler gargling their own snot than it does anything fitting for a death metal record, even a death metal record at stupid and cheesy as Nightmares of the Decomposed. Chris Barnes should be thankful that metal is not a sport and that there’s not nearly as much of an abundance of performance statistics to point to and analyze to see what kind of records are broken in a legendarily awful performance. I feel like if there were any kind of performance stats to pull up, this album would have to break some kinds of records. Like this is worse than that 7-1 Germany-Brazil World Cup game, this would be like if the Brazilian team all got unholy levels of blazed and repeatedly scored on themselves because they kept going the wrong way and kicking the ball into their own net, and then pissing their fucking shorts. Even in 7-1 defeat, Brazil had more dignity than Chris Barnes here. Six Feet Under and their label have to know they are a laughing stock and that people will listen to them at this point for the sheer entertainment value of how mind-blowingly awful they sound. It’s not an illegitimate marketing tactic, and it’s the only explanation I can come up with for how this passed inspection. If that’s their mission, to be a spectacle and instill cringe in death metal fans in a regular ritual of comically stupid performances across every successive album, they’re sure doing it, and I guess this baffling headache-trophy is their well-earned prize. Congratulations Six Feet Under, you did it again! Worst metal album of the year.

#metal #heavy metal #worst albums of 2020 #hard rock #thrash metal #groove metal #alternative metal #butt rock #acoustic rock #power metal #dungeon synth #ambient #ambient music #metalcore #arena rock #pop rock #alternative rock #death metal

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kennyrobots · 3 years

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answer in the form of an answer, part 0 (zero).

trying something new. so, as you might expect, i’m a bit of a lonely, homely sad-sack of a guy out here on these internet streets, and as a result, i’m on the dating apps. specifically okcupid, and as of this moment, ONLY okcupid. (i still technically have a hinge account too, but i actually haven’t used it since last march, i want to say, after the last time i had met someone on there that didn’t work out.) (i’ll suppress the urge to explain why, because...you’ll see.) if you know OKC, then you know that it’s chock-full of questions that you answer in order for them build you a dating profile, or harvest your information, or whatever else they do to monetize the free userbase, because i refuse to believe that the paying users are enough to subsidize the cheapos among us. (in fairness, i used to be one of those paying users, but since my “full-time” return a few weeks ago, i’ve been one of the free accounts. it’s had roughly the same effect: some likes, a handful of intros, no real conversations, much less dates. i highly doubt that it changes in any meaningful way if i pay for it, and it if does? that’s kinda fucked up. wouldn’t surprise me, though.) ANYWAY, i have a...let’s go with “bad habit” of putting an explanation in each of the blank spaces that accompany each answer, “in case you’d like to elaborate”, which i do, at great length. in the beginning, i took those spaces at face value, simply elaborating my thought processes within that space, keeping it MOSTLY on track, but somewhere along the line...let’s just say it took a turn. (oh, baby, did it take a turn.)

don’t get me wrong - i still put my thoughts down there. it’s a blank space, and me and blank spaces is like THIS. *doing all sorts of twisted shit with his fingers* but most of the time it’s sheer luck that said thoughts would even be relevant to the question being asked - it’s guaranteed that my answer will go off on a tangent, wherein i miss the point of the question completely. shit, it’s entirely within the realm of possibility that my answer will refer to previous questions that i’ve answered (which makes no sense within the context of the question itself, because it’s not like i can hyperlink between answers on there) or even go completely off-topic entirely. and that’s if i’m TRYING. i’ve actually been doing this for years (because, despite myself, i am a writer) (a terribad writer, but a writer nonetheless), basically since i’ve had this current iteration of my OKC account (which is the third iteration, i believe - the first two having been deleted after poor experiences that led me to declare the process a failure) (i have problems learning lessons, is what i’m getting at here). so far, i’ve answered (as of today) 544 questions, ALL of which have an explanation against them. i’m willing to bet actual money that i’m the ONLY user in that entire hellsite that’s done that. others have provided explanations with their answers, sure, but i bet that i’m the only person that’s done it with EVERY SINGLE QUESTION i’ve answered. i’m willing to bet actual cold hard cash money on it, because that’s actually become the most entertaining part of using that site/app for me. (don’t worry - i will regale you about the time that OKC literally told me i should not be using it soon enough.) ANYWAY, a few nights ago, when i was off on my question-answering spree, i’d remarked to myself that i was finding *A* writer voice in these answers (not necessarily the writer voice that i use offline, but a voice nonetheless), and that notion actually stuck with me for longer than it probably should’ve. hell, i’ve even had the idea to answer every possible question on the site (i think there’s like 5000 of them) (don’t quote me on that), and when i got to the end (if there was an end, and assuming the process didn’t kill me), i would somehow get all of those questions aggregated together into a book or booklike format, and then...i actually have no idea what i’d do with it next, because basically all of my ideas are half-assed, so why should this one be any different. and then i remembered that, for whatever ungodly reason, i still have a tumblr account. (the reason is a woman that i’m no longer speaking to.) (because of course it is.) since it’d be virtually impossible to read my answers on OKC without having an account first (and i personally don’t recommend it) (i have one because i’m a legacy user, at this point), i’ve decided to publish those answers right here, on this tumblr, where anyone can read it (in theory). i actually have no idea if i’m even ALLOWED to do this - i kept trying to access the OKC terms and conditions, and the shit kept failing to load for me, which i’m sure means something somewhere - but fuck it. worst they can do is shut this bitch down, and in all honesty, that’s probably the most positive outcome here. so that’s basically it. i plan to publish at least one question and my corresponding answer here per day, and...again, i really haven’t thought it out all the way through. i’m not expecting to monetize this in any way - i’m pretty sure that between tumblr and OKC, both of them motherfuckers is going to own the content anyway - so i guess i just want to do SOMETHING with this tumblr, because i pretty much expect the same readership here that i have over there: virtually zero. ("virtually”, because there’s a person every now and again that will read through all of my answers, and i know of exactly ONE person that actually liked what i wrote. we went out on a few dates, she refused to actually call them “dates”, and it went about as well as you’d expect.) (don’t worry - i repeatedly make mention of it in my answers to some of the questions, because 1) i am a chronic oversharer (i’ve put this exact phrase in my dating profile and everything), and 2) i actually forgot what my 2 was supposed to be.) (suffice to say that, at this point, i’m pretty much doing it for myself, and that’s probably the best possible reason for doing ANYTHING these days.) i’ll probably provide additional commentary as we go along, because i honestly can’t help myself. if you get something out of it, then all the better. if you don’t? well, at least this shit was free. (i mean, you wasted your time, but that’s on you, chief.)

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theseerasures · 4 years

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Frozen 2 Reaction Post

surprisebitch.gif

this is 5000% because i don’t wanna do other stuff, but is it not poetic justice that i should come back to the tumbls for Frozen 2: Elsa Runs Away Some More

i’m gonna prologue this by saying that by and large i enjoyed the film tremendously; of course since this is 2019 i would have enjoyed anything that didn’t end with Elsa committing nonsensical war crimes before being put down like Old Yeller or pulling a no-homo to transcend time and space (that’s right, i’m hip enough to know about TWO of the biggest media fiascos this year, you jelly?), but the film was enjoyable even beyond that, mostly in how it affirmed my own opinions about the universe

HOWEVER, there were also huge problems that really have to be addressed, and we’re gonna start with those

cut for length and a truly immense amount of spoilers

things i didn’t like:

so the Iduna being Sami All Along thing was, um. bad! it was bad, and really reads like the team trying to cover their asses after the blowback from the first movie. why was it such a big deal for ~a Northuldran to love an Arendellian~ when Arendelle was 100% at fault in the conflict? were the spirits just like “oh the indigenous tribe that has cared for us and lived alongside us for centuries are fine i guess but OH LOOK the whitest among them just made googly eyes at the son of the guy who wants to colonize and enslave us, let’s root for those crazy kids and make their firstborn the avatar”

making Iduna a White Sami and leaning on the excuse that in real life the Sami people are linguistic and ethnically diverse and some of them can pass as white would have been fine if they didn’t EXPLICITLY RACIALIZE EVERY OTHER TRIBE MEMBER ON SCREEN. come on guys, just admit you liked Last Samurai but knew that that exact premise wouldn’t fly anymore

why couldn’t it be just a nice person who saved Agnar? why did we get yet another version of the old Pocahontas fetish?

why did Iduna being Northuldran REMAIN such a big deal to the point that she never told her kids about it and she and Agnar had to tell separate but equal bedtime stories about the same event??

whew i’m so glad this all happened so Elsa, the whitest non-anthropomorphic-snowman character in the movie, could save those savage natives with spears! They Needed Her Guidance

the songs this time mostly...felt like they didn’t really want this movie to be a musical but were contractually obligated to write songs for Disney until the heat death of the universe

case in point: Some Things Never Change was going for the Happily Ever After vibe that the Steven Universe movie had, but it...didn’t really feel earned. we obviously needed a place-setter song, but it didn’t really establish anything about what the characters have been up to or what might be still bothering them, because apparently everything is great! this worked for Steven Universe because it came off of five SEASONS of character development, but Elsa’s last big character revelation that we the audience saw was “wow guess i’m not the worst scum on earth after all.” the timeskip can only do so much, is what i’m saying

Kristoff got NOTHING to work with. i’m not like, horribly broken up about it since i know they had to keep it tight for the kids, but fucking OLAF got a heavier arc than he did, and it feels like a missed opportunity that they didn’t link HIS backstory to the Northuldrans, what with him being orphaned/abandoned/raised by trolls already set up. it doesn’t have to siphon into the White Savior main story at all, just have--i dunno, a few more scenes with the Northuldrans and him realizing that he’s probably descended from refugees who got cut off from the forest

the proposal thing was cute until i realized that they were going to just hit the same beats over and over again with each scene. it should have been resolved in act 1 instead of Kristoff disappearing for half the movie and then tacking on the proposal at the very end. not every subplot has to be stretched out to the end! in this case i feel like stretching it out actually REGRESSED aspects of Kristanna, since it relied on Anna misreading so many signals that it strained believability even for Anna. we’re supposed to think they’ve NEVER talked about this, despite having dated for 3 years and consistently trading off on being the most Extra person in the room?

the confirmation that Olaf’s fingers can wiggle will haunt my dreams

me when the stone giants interrupted Elsa’s conversation with Honeymaren: yOU COCKBLOCKERS

i find myself growing increasingly weary of the now token Disney Wink at Camera, and Elsa rolling her eyes and her past self doing Let It Go was probably the apex of that particular antipathy. showing that you’re so Over the song that made you billions in a movie that you’re shilling to the EXACT SAME CROWD is the most obnoxious humble-flex i can think of

as much as i liked Elsa jumping into the Pit of Past Misdeeds and freezing to death, i think the scene happened waaaaaayyyy too fast, especially if you compare it to how long it took for Anna in the first movie. she’s not really given any time to process what’s happening, and it kind of lessens the emotional impact.

Olaf is gone!! he’s gone, i miss him so much!! i cry myself to sleep!!!! OLAFFFFFFF!!! false. i do not miss him

i distinctly recall liking Olaf just fine in the first movie and actually found him tolerable here too, but wow i was not happy when they resurrected him, even though i knew it was a sure thing

maybe it’s because NOTHING had consequences in the end and even Arendelle, the place that all the characters have been treating like a thoroughfare for two movies, had to get saved at the last second!! Arendelle the place??? we were supposed to care enough about that to want it to be saved?? it’s not the fucking GALACTICA guys! there weren’t even any people left in the town! it’s bizarre that they tried to go so hard in the reparations route and then swerved at the last second. let Arendelle drown you cowards! let the Northuldrans offer help in solidarity if you really wanted the “bridge between worlds” angle, but come the fuck on! didn’t something like this happen with Life Is Strange already?

why didn’t Elsa go to her sister’s coronation is it just like a thing now for her to miss the major life events of her family members

the statues they unveiled at the end were horrifying

things i liked:

a lowkey thing that i’ve always appreciated about the first movie was its willingness to Go There when it came to depicting well intentioned parents who are still mired in various character flaws and wound their kids deeply, so it was nice to see that return and get expanded with parents who had Lives separate from their kids which made them That Way, and the consequences of those Lives often come back to influence subsequent generations no matter how much they try to keep it contained. it’s a good, logical extension from what happened with Elsa in the first movie.

and it’s another Steven Universe vibe, but they can go further with it faster because Elsa and Anna are the hegemony in this movie. they’re the history-makers, so their family drama very easily becomes political, and the lessons they pick up from family memories immediately end up changing the fantasy history landscape. it’s dope

baby Anna’s lil feetsies

Anna wanted to marry everyone and Elsa thought kissing was gross

everyone does feel palpably older! the first movie had a very teen feel insofar as everything was We Have to Do This or We Will All Die Immediately, but this time around all the characters feel much more comfortable in their own skin throughout the movie

everyone getting more than two outfits and all wearing pants

the revelation after so many headcanons of Elsa being a ruthless pragmatist, Elsa always being two steps ahead politically, Elsa being a literal and metaphorical chessmaster that Elsa is...actually just kind of spacey and weird was for me extremely welcome. i think part of this was done in service of Anna becoming queen at the end, but it makes sense. “attack it with ice powers” and “run away” are still pretty much the only two strings to Elsa’s bow. this is not to say that she was a bad queen, or that she didn’t try her damndest to be a fair and just ruler--when it comes down to it i think Elsa still knows more Facts about how to rule a kingdom than Anna ever will, it’s just that she’s also horribly averse to conflict and “pacing in place while blaming herself” is pretty much the extent of her productivity under serious pressure.

what sets Elsa apart (other than the ice powers) isn’t that she’s prodigiously talented, but that she’s kindhearted and extremely sensitive to the emotions and fates of others. (she’s the one who asks what happened to the spirits when Agnar is done with his half of the story.) she agonized over hurting Anna one way vs. hurting Anna another way for THIRTEEN YEARS and still couldn’t make up her mind until she was literally backed into a corner, and even that decision was “run away but FARTHER.” Anna wanting to reconcile with Elsa even after thirteen years wasn’t just because Anna’s love eclipses all; Elsa also left that door open for her, because she could never be quite as ruthless or even SELFLESS as to send her sister away for good. (”then leave! actually jk i’ll leave instead”)

but Anna wasn’t ever the exception for Elsa, either. Anna wasn’t the only corner of Elsa’s heart that she left open--Elsa’s like that with EVERYONE, even people she just met, or disembodied voices in the wild. Elsa can never do quite as many Right Things as she thinks she should, she can never be quite as driven, as strong, as single-minded as she thinks she needs to be, to fully commit to making decisions for other people. she feels too deeply and wants too much, even after all those years of trying to scour herself out with a lathe. it’s what ruins and saves her.

Anna and Elsa being horrible at charades in diametrically opposite ways was the most life affirming thing to happen to me this year

Elsa couldn’t act out ice

the two of them had MULTIPLE conversations with each other that didn’t immediately result in mortal peril!!! what a world guys

Into the Unknown fucking slaps but i’m now REALLY confused about the diegesis of the songs in this movie. i’d assumed they were all happening in story, what with the Voice and the multiple references to Let It Go, but Elsa literally bays at the moon in the middle of the night here and no one woke up??? maybe they’re all just really heavy sleepers who knows

or maybe the staff just take it in stride at this point--oh, Her Majesty is singing and crying again

Kristoff and Anna CANONICALLY FUCK, and not even in the typical cartoon “look they have kids, they canonically fuck” way in the “hey my sister and her snowchild that we’re all coparenting together are asleep on the sled, shall we fuck a mere three feet away without even putting up a divider or something” way

gotta give Jen Lee kudos for making the “Elsa has ice powers because she’s the fifth spirit” retcon make thematic sense. the most obvious way to go about this WOULD have been the avatar direction, but Elsa isn’t the union of the four elements but the union of the spirits and humanity, which is to say that she witnesses them and keeps their memories, bringing them to life and solidifying them with her powers. she’s obviously the best person for the job, since y’know. she spent thirteen years on one memory alone.

wait does this mean Elsa is basically the Resurrection Stone?? buhhhh i don’t wanna think about it

of course Anna’s sword just came from her grabbing it from an ice statue i don’t know what else i expected

i laughed at both of Olaf’s reenactments i don’t know what to tell you

i feel...Some Kinda Way about the discourse saying that Mattias being black is problematic because it suggests black collusion in indigenous genocide, but it’s not my place to comment on that, so i’ll just say that it was a pleasure to see Sterling K. Brown having fun in a role instead of his usual gravitas and misery

Elsa first making eye contact with the icemander, or Two Feral Creatures Recognize Each Other As Such--i can’t believe i thought Hiccup would be the weirdest horse girl i’d ever encounter in fiction when it’s OBVIOUSLY Elsa

ELSA COULDN’T ACT OUT ICE

what a novel concept to have Elsa charging forward while Anna tries to pull her back, telling her to slow down, that she’s climbing too high

appreciated the subtle seeding they did of Anna’s political savvy, what with her actually talking to the lost Arendellian soldiers and restraining herself from making outlandish promises to everyone she meets

Kristoff made a friend!

Elsa met one (1) girl that wasn’t her sister and immediately decided she had to live in the woods forever

Tribe Leader Lady’s reaction to Kristoff’s proposal

can’t believe Lost in the Woods invented cinema and music videos

the sisters at the shipwreck is hands down the best scene in the entire movie, aided by the drastically different palette they used to color this scene--all grays, browns, and blacks, even the surrounding environment, like Agnar and Iduna’s despair polluted the whole landscape. Elsa and Anna look horribly out of place here, like they can’t possibly be real in a world that looks like this.

it really snuck up on me how much this scene is a pivot for both of their characters: Anna’s instinct here is to look forward, to find clues that will point them to the next step; Elsa’s instinct is toward grief and, after the reveal, self-blame. for all her growth there’s still a part of Elsa that sees her existence as the catastrophe that keeps hurling the wreckage of the world at her feet. it’s something that i don’t think she’ll ever be able to completely move past.

Elsa, looking at Anna like she’s the only real thing in the world as Anna tells her that she believes in her, more than anyone or anything

“i just don’t want you dying trying to be everything for everyone else!” jesus fucking CHRIST guys

Olaf’s growing up crisis was mostly just...kinda there for me, but i will say the cut to his horrified expression when Anna said the word “dying” really did get to me

Anna switching between a Formal Court hairstyle and an Athleisure hairstyle is Bi Representation, Elsa getting increasingly more disheveled over two movies is Lesbian Representation

do i Get horse movies now

Elsa happy crying when she sees her mother in the cave made ME incredibly happy--her face is so much more dynamic this time around!

i wanna make fun of her for her stupid Dance Dance Revolution ice magic during Show Yourself but honestly..........fucking superb you funky little lesbian

aw Elsa you stood up to...an ice hallucination of your racist grandpa! in another three years (six years in production) you might be ready for Thanksgiving dinner

Elsa in the last movie: i’m never going back, the past is in the past!!!!

Elsa in this movie: brb gotta go hurl myself into a Pit of Past Misdeeds and turn myself into one of the embodied memories

Anna immediately understanding what went down at the forest before and that even if she wasn’t directly complicit in the violence she benefits from it every day, deciding to rip down Imperialism Dam without hesitation

The Next Right Thing didn’t really do it for me musically but as a core concept for Anna’s character and ethos it fucking ROCKS (pun obviously intended). i was so worried going in that they wouldn’t know what to do with Anna after the first movie other than give her powers, but instead we got confirmation that this IS her superpower: her ability to forge ahead with whatever life has given her has ALWAYS been her greatest strength.

this also explains why she felt so aimless and intent on protecting Elsa and nothing else before this point; Anna isn’t interested in delving deeply into the past, not when every other member of her family was consumed by it. with this she’s finally able to convert memory into action, and she shines.

(of course she couldn’t have GOTTEN to this point if Elsa hadn’t been so convinced that the past was worth pursuing, confirming my belief that the two of them share exactly one brain cell)

OBVIOUSLY action for Anna translates into “make myself bait for stone giants and STAND ON THE VERY DAM I WANT THEM TO RIP APART” Anna you fucking walnut

Anna threw the first brick at Imperialism Dam, actually

the understated moment when Kristoff just pushes aside his own insecurities and just asks Anna what she needs

the shot of Elsa falling into the water after she’s thawed nearly did me in

Elsa horseback riding over the water is. wow it’s the gayest thing i’ve ever seen

Anna’s coronation outfit made me kinda wistful. she looks so grown up! she looks like her mother

(i mean she always looks like her mother they literally have the same face but whatever you know what i mean)

me on my deathbed: eLSA COuldN’T aCT oUt ICE

stray observations:

is Arendelle just a tourist town where one day the guy who owned the largest house was like “this is a KINGDOM NOW I’M THE KING” and the 50 other townies who lived there were just too polite to argue

i mean it’d explain why the queen, her heir, and the heir’s consort could just waltz out of there for a week long trip and leAVE THE TROLLS IN CHARGE

when they first started getting chummy with the Northuldrans i lost my god damn mind and was like “are they gonna give Kristoff a boyfriend and Anna a girlfriend what’s happening”

is it required that female Disney protagonists have to go to a blue tinted place to realize that the magic answer was in them all along now the same exact thing happened to Moana and Rey

Elsa’s ice creations are confirmed to fade away if she dies, which...is a confirmation we needed i guess

why didn’t Mattias and Yelana fall in love to make the Chosen One instead, they had chemistry

(i mean. i know why)

i hope Anna got to yell at Elsa for at least five minutes and maybe slug her for pulling that “i’m going to Mordor alone!!!” bullshit

for a second at the end i was like “are they gonna do the HTTYD thing where we flash forward to ten years later and Anna and Kristoff take their kids to visit Elsa IS KRISTOFF GONNA GROW A DAD BEARD” but no we just had lesbian wind and origami instead

whatever your take on the movie i think we can all agree that the scene where Olaf calls the Irish “a plague on this planet which is slowly rotting it down to the rind and which must be excised” was NOT okay

#'wow i wonder how many words this post is--actually maybe i don't wanna know'#frozen 2 #disney #helen writes meta

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ajoraverse · 3 years

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Does anyone care? Nah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . But this meme crossed my main dash so I’m gonna answer it here because I know no one would actually play memes with me anymore. This is the Beta AU post; FFV will be separate.

What OC has the biggest family? How do they get along? I mean, Alfredot has been creating gems for thousands of years by the time she stopped. She generally gets along well with them, for how little time she’s able to spend with them before they get shipped out.

What OC has/is a mentor? Alfredot both had a mentor and has been one. And in better years, she was a fair one. It’s just been in the past 5000 years that she broke and became that one jerk teacher no one likes but is the only one who teaches Advanced Exogeology.

What OC has a huge group of friends? I’m not sure if Skinny/Twig counts because she’s based on a bit canon character, but definitely her. She tends to get along with everyone.

What OC has a small, close group of friends? Mist never makes friends easily, and a lot of that is because of trauma, but she sticks to them when she can.

What OC has, like, one friend? Alfredot used to have a larger pool, but all her friends are either dead or have been driven away by 5000 years of her being a bitter asshole.

What OC is the Mom Friend? Twig

What OC really needs the Mom Friend around? Bear could honestly really use a friend, given her difficulties, but not a lot of people want to make the effort to slow down for her.

Which OCs are an old married couple (literally or figuratively)? Alfredot and Mist, if they ever reunite

What is your favorite platonic relationship between your OCs? Twig and Mouse, easily. They’re both so laid back that they can shoot the breeze for years and not get annoyed with each other.

What is your favorite familial relationship between your OCs? Look, Prasiolite was Alfredot’s daughter and I’m sorry I never got to really explore that.

What is your favorite romantic relationship between your OCs? I really love exploring taboo and complicated relationships, so it was always gonna be Alfredot and Mist.

Which two OCs are the most different from each other? Oh, goodness, Twig and Copper are as different as night and day. Up until Twig gets all Ahab, anyway.

Which OCs complement each other the best? This is a good question and I think Twig would be good for helping Burgundy and Copper to step down on the intensity a bit.

Which OCs get along the best with each other? Oh, gosh, probably Sunstone and Twig, if they ever met. Twig would find Sunstone’s genuine desire to do good to be refreshing, and Sunstone would look up to Twig’s unwillingness to let anything get to her.

Whch OCs get along the worst with each other? Copper and Albite (who may or may not be one and the same, opinion pending) would, ironically, find Sunstone’s optimism and goodwill aggravating.

Which OCs don’t know each other, but would get along great if they did? Despite Albite’s disapproval with how pearls are made, she would approve of Copper’s attempts at revolution--mostly what she hates is inaction and compliance. She would also be more approving of Alfredot’s efforts at fueling and informing Copper’s revolution if she had any idea Alfredot would eventually grow a spine. And oh, goodness would Albite love Bismuth and Pearl.

Which OCs don’t know each other, but would hate each other if they did? Sunstone and Star Sapphire do actually know of each other, and Star Sapphire does manipulate Sunstone, but Sunstone would loathe the way Star Sapphire plays behind the scenes (despite, well, doing her own manipulations--Star Sapphire operates out of a necessary distance because she’s ancient beyond belief, Sunstone is still young enough and well-meaning enough to believe the best of people).

Which OCs would make the worst couple? Oh god I cannot see Albite with anyone, she’s too dedicated to her movement and it occupied her every thought. Likewise with Copper.

What’s the strangest way two (or more) OCs have met? Mist might have made a very loud wark when meeting Twig, who was the first of her gems to have met her.

Which non-related OCs have known each other the longest? Star Sapphire and Alfredot.

Which OCs knew each other the shortest time before becoming close friends? Look, Twig will befriend everyone at a moment’s notice.

Which OCs spend the most time together? Stoneshaper is actually the gem who spends the most time with Mist post-corruption, because she likes a captive audience and Mist doesn’t mind her making things in front of her.

Which OCs have fought with each other the most? The triplets fight with everyone, tbh. They’re soldiers without purpose and need a guide.

Do any OCs have friends they haven’t met in person? Not really. Most of them have met at least once. Moonstone had acquaintances she only met through the network, but as she is so detached from everything due to sheer age, she doesn’t grow close to anyone.

Do any OCs have imaginary friends? Nope

Does OC have a hard or easy time making friends? Alfredot has a harder time making friends the older she gets.

How did OC meet their best friend? Peach Pearl was just dropped in Sunstone’s lap one day. And it was a rocky start (haha), but they do get to be close friends.

How did OC meet their worst enemy? Well, see, Lapis dragged Jasper under the sea and forced a fusion for months and Twig hated her since.

How did OC meet their significant other? If OC does not have a SO, do they want one? Sunstone being genuinely ace, she’s just as happy to be bffs with someone.

How does OC get along with their parents? Alfredot got on very well with her maker. Well enough to be apprenticed to her.

Does OC have siblings? Do they get along if they do? Do they wish they had some if they don’t? Twig has plenty of siblings, some she gets along with better than others. But it’s with Jasper that she has the most sibling-like relationship.

Does OC have or want kids? Twig has so many human kids, you guys.

Is OC/Would OC be a good parent? Twig is the best parent. She will drop everything for the kids, even if none of them came from her body. They were her wives’ kids, so they’re her kids too.

What is something unusual OC has bonded with someone over? It’s not been explored at all, but Alfredot started bonding with Albite over ship building and maintenance.

What is the most important relationship in OC’s life? I actually want to say Albite and Alfredot, if just because Albite’s movement and eventual death ended up influencing Alfredot’s life up until she ended up freeing Mist, shuttling freed pearls to the pearl enclave on the first colony, and enabling Copper’s revolution.

How has OC been affected by their friendships? They’ve all been influenced by friendships.

How has OC been affected by their family relationships? Twig is the biggest family girl because of her relationships with other Beta gems

How has OC been affected by their romantic relationship(s) or lack thereof? Losing Mist may have made Alfredot bitter and wholly unlikeable to everyone who has to take her exogeology classes, but Mist was sort of the final element to push Alfredot into her revolutionary support role.

Who does OC consider they have learned their most important life lesson from? Albite sort of set up the scaffolding for Alfredot’s life lessons, but Mist pulled her back enough to see that the scaffolding was there all along.

Who motivates OC? So many things motivate Alfredot, but primarily Albite and Mist.

Who would OC do anything for? Look, Alfredot will give everything to have Mist back.

Who would OC do anything to not have to deal with? If Alfredot never has to deal with Blue Diamond again and not also betray the gems she made, she’ll go rogue at a moment’s notice.

How does OC meet most people? Alfredot mostly meets people through work.

How long does it take OC to open up to people? Alfredot? centuries. Sunstone? minutes, but she always keeps Heliodor to herself.

How much do OC’s friends know about their private life? Most of my OCs are very private people, due in large part to living in an oppressive society in which the walls actually have eyes and ears

How does OC act differently after they know someone better? Alfredot gets a lot less forbidding if she approves of someone.

Who is OC’s favorite person? Alfredot was nice to Sunstone and treated her like an equal, so Sunstone looks up to her a lot and this always mystifies Alfredot.

Who is OC’s least favorite person? The amount of hate Alfredot has for Blue Diamond can be measured on galactic scales, but she would never actually acknowledge it.

Is there anyone OC used to be very close to, but no longer is? Star Sapphire actually does know Moonstone, and they were friends once upon a time. But as they are both old on the scale of nearly a million years, they’ve drifted apart.

What aspects of OC have, consciously or unconsciously, come from someone else? Alfredot kinda gets up the courage to do more than just mourn her losses from Mist.

#SU: Beta AU

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ooak-tree-dolls · 5 years

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What materials do I use? What to avoid? And some basic rules.

In this post I will show you which materials I use, which are good for dolls & which you should avoid (and why). There will also be some basic rules about how to use each medium. If you want to check on how to cut costs on basic materials and what to get to start your first repaint – check my previous post here. OK, so let’s get started…

SEALANTS

Sealants are a must! You need a layer of something “toothy” over vinyl (or plastic or resin) for your watercolor pencils and pastel dust to stick to. Sealants used as last layer also make your work waterproof & permanent.

Basic rules of working with sealant

ALWAYS and I mean it – always – use vapor mask! Even when working with an airbrush. Other options? You’ll die. Or get cancer. Or asthma. Just wear the goddamn’ mask! You need a good vapor mask with disposable filters, that are meant for lacquer and chemical vapors. Mine uses A1P2 filter type. Most popular and good brand? 3M. Those cheap paper masks that make you look like a Dr. house? It’s shit. It doesn’t even protect you from a flu. Buy a good mask. You either spend like $15 on a mask… or $5000 on a coffin – the choice is yours. Just be warned.

you need at least 2-3 layers of sealant as a base before you even start to work with your doll. Just think about it as creating a paper from scratch – you need some thickness to it or you’ll just punch a hole in the layer with your sharp pencils. If you start with basic shading – 2 layers is enough. If you start with drawing some basic lines & shapes – I would recommend 3 layers.

each sealant layer needs time to dry – usually it is 15-30 minutes per layer. What means you spray the doll – you leave it to dry – you spray the doll – you leave it to dry. There is no safe way to make it faster and working. Sealant compounds must dry and cure properly. Heating it will cause the sealant to get sticky and gooey – you don’t want that. Some things just need time – this is one of those.

always spray in a ventilated area: either it will be a garage, a basement, your kitchen with kitchen vent/ hood working, or even a room you don’t sleep in, that have more than one window and great air flow. Spray residue can harm your lungs. Why? Not because it’s radioactive shit that will make you glow in the dark… geez. Because tiny sealant particles can get to your lungs, stay there, harden, and lesser your lung capacity. It can give you headache and asthma in best case scenario, or evolve into cancer in the worst scenario. Therefore you always spray in a ventilated area and wear a mask.

spray with good weather. Heat and high humidity can affect how sealant layers dry and cure over time. If it’s too hot – sealant won’t cure. Too cold – it cannot evaporate. Too humid – it cannot dry. It seems like a lot, but besides extreme weather, you can spray almost any day. If it’s not super hot, no snow blizzards or heavy rains – you’re good to go. Or you can always spray indoors 🙂

spray from at least one feet /30-40cm distance, in short series. You rather want to dust your doll in a delicate sealant cloud, than pour it in a heavy rain of sealant. Thin layers. Proper distance. And you’ll be good.

give your can a good shake. Best way is to warm the can in your hands for several minutes and then vigorously shake up and down for 1-2 minutes. The better you shake your sealant – the thinner and smoother layer you’ll get. Shaking helps all ingredients to mix well, warm up, and makes pressure inside can higher. If you learn all the basics of how to properly use sealant – you can be sure no matter what brand you’ll choose – it will always give you great results.

Sealant brands – pros and cons of each

MSC

Most popular among doll artists is MSC aka Mr. Super Clear, but it is also really expensive, sold in tiny cans and really hard to get in some areas. Why it’s so pricey? Because it’s good. Obviously. But also because it is produced and imported from Japan – a small country, located on several bigger and smaller islands – so shipping anything from there costs tons of money!

MSC pros: – creates good tooth to surface – usually 2 layers are enough as a base – widely known & tested – waterproof MSC cons: – pricey! – hard to find in some areas – sold in small cans – very vulnerable to air humidity and temperature – tends to lighten surface – new Matt version tends to crack over time

See the problem? If you want your doll’s head to perfectly match the body – you must either spray both with MSC or constantly checking shade of the head and blush it with pastels.

CITADEL Munitorum Varnish aka Purity Seal It’s basically MSC in bigger can 😀 Made in UK. Widely popular among miniature artists and board game players. If you have a nerd friend playing miniature games – he’ll know how to help you get this one! My sealant of choice ❤ Munitorum Varnish pros: – big can! – fair price – creates good tooth – less vulnerable to weather conditions – waterproof – a bit elastic – won’t crack Munitorum Varnish cons: – mostly available in boardgame stores or online – must be sprayed from a proper distance, or it will tend to cure into a satin finish – usually needs 3 layers as a base for watercolor pencils Most of my repaints were made with Munitorum Varnish spray 🙂 Army Painter and Vallejo Spray Matte Sealant

Those are meant to be used with wargame miniatures. They are less popular than other brands. They both give a nice surface to work with watercolor pencils, but colors on them aren’t as bold as with MSC or CITADEL. The biggest con I have with these two is the packaging – both Army Painter;s and Vallejo’s Sealant cans ended up with broken nozzle just after few uses. I have no idea what causes it – but the nozzle tends to crack or getting clogged easily. You can buy spare ones, but I just let them go for other, easier to use for me, media. Tamiya C matte sealant

It’s also Japanese sealant, same as MSC. Sold in tiny cans [is everything in Japan tiny? Why? ] and meant to be used with wargame minis. I used only one can of it, because of it’s horrible smell. Even tho it gave me a good surface to work with, and can was easy to operate – I felt the smell even in my pro mask with filters. And even after 4 hours with wide opened windows in my apartment. If you have a basement or a garage – you can probably use it with more success.

Hint for drying a doll in humid climate!

For those who are afraid of air humidity in their region, or have a sneaky furry friend as a part of their family – there is a trick to help you save your dolls and let them dry safely! It’s a drying chamber / dry box. Basically a plastic box, filled with silica gel packets [those do-not-eat baggies you can find in new pair of shoes or newly bought bag] and some tiny holes poked in a lid. You can put the doll there and leave it to fully dry in most clean and dry conditions you can get at home. Also – without any fluff particles, fur or dust bunnies that could be stuck to a wet sealant layer.

PAINTS

When it comes to paints I always recommend miniature painting brands. Why? Because they are meant to be used with tiny surfaces! Miniature paints have the smallest pigment particles you can get – it helps you get smoother layers and better coverage than any art grade paint. These paints are also a bit elastic after fully dry so they won’t chip off easily, even from squishy vinyl heads. They’ve meant to be used with resin wargame and boardgame miniatures – tiny objects that are often used, moved around and thrown to a box without air pillows. They can really withstand a lot more than your usual acrylics. The only con I can find is that they need a lot more practice than pencils to achieve same results. You need to learn how to control your paint thickness and train a steady hand to achieve clean lines and smooth layers.

ALWAYS thin your paints before use! Either with water or paint thinner. – you need it to get smooth layers without gritty or lumpy texture and to avoid future chipping. Paints are not meant to give full coverage in one layer, so don’t try to achieve that. As with any other medium on a tiny surface – work with thin layers, patiently building up color and coverage.

What people usually are afraid of is that paints are sold in small bottles so they won’t last long. But it’s not true! Thanks to great coverage and small scale we work with you really don’t need much at a time. You also usually use paint thinned down with water or dedicated thinner in 50/50 ratio.

Paint brands – pros and cons of each

CITADEL [ sometimes called Games Workshop]

It’s a brand of paints that was created for Warhammer miniatures. It’s probably the most popular brand in the miniature artists world. CITADEL pros: – variety of colors – different lines for different special effects, eg. drybrushing, layering etc. – easy to find both in stores and online – good coverage CITADEL cons: – poor package – it makes paints dry out faster – thick – it needs acrylic thinner to work properly – you can feel overwhelmed with how many lines they have for different things [mostly unnecessary ones, like Dry line for example]

Vallejo

It’s a Spanish brand, very popular among pro painters. My personal choice ❤ I love all their series, they have clear descriptions, lots of additional mediums, and what’s great – they last forever! Vallejo pros: – great package! It’s almost impossible for these to dry out or spill, or use too much of it – variety of colors – from vibrant Game Color series, Metallic mediums in all colors to Model Color in more toned down shades – lots of different mediums: metallizers, thinners, shading media etc. – great quality and coverage Vallejo cons: – they are a bit harder to find outside EU, most often available online – outside of EU they can cost a bit more than Citadel

Army Painter This is typically a wargame miniature designed brand. Their colors are more earthy and calm, more toned down – meant to be used for skin tones and army uniforms. If you’re looking something super vibrant – that’s not your type. They have similar packages to Vallejo –a tiny bottle with dropper.

Tamiya Japanese brand of paints. Sold in tiny jars. I must say I don’t like these packages neither working with a bit jelly consistency of these paints. Big pros of these is their long tradition on market – probably any miniature model store will have Tamiya paints – from wargame stores to these for car or train lovers. If you want to try these – you aim for Tamiya C series – acrylic based paints. P3 and Pactra Similar to Army Painter – these are more into natural shades. I worked with them shortly, because they’re less available where I live. Their coverage isn’t as good as other brands. Still – they give great smooth layers when dry.

What else do I need to start with paints?

paintbrushes – duuuh! 😉 I recommend getting tiny paintbrushes, often referred to as miniature brushes, in sizes of 1,2, 0, 00, and 000. Preferably sable bristles or nylon. Nylon brushes are cheaper but last shorter. Sable ones are pricey but properly cleaned will last for years.

paint thinner – I use Vallejo Airbrush Thinner. Thinner changes surface tension of the paint, which allows you to dilute paint without losing as much coverage as it is when diluting with water. Diluted paint gives you a smoother layer and thinner, sharper lines – eg. when you want to paint eyelashes.

brush cleaner – I use 2in1 hair shampoo with conditioner because it cleans brushes without damaging sable bristles. Remember to always use lukewarm water for your brushes, never too hot! Hot water will damage your paintbrushes and make paint harden around bristles.

WATERCOLOR PENCILS

You can only use watercolor pencils – normal colored pencils are your worst enemy! Why? Usually colored pencil core is a mix of pigments, mineral oils and binder – they are meant to be used on paper and sip into it thanks to addition of mineral oils. Sadly that’s the main villain – mineral oil, or basically any other oil, will destroy sealant layers. It will make layers sticky and fragile. It will prevent sealant from curing and your work won’t be permanent or waterproof.

On the other hand – watercolor pencils are made from tightly compressed, clean, water-soluble pigments. Nothing more. Just pigments that can be dissolved by using water. They are dry, and allow sealant to cure properly. They will also give you clean, sharp lines.

Please remember, that if you want colors to stand out – you will work with layers over layers over layers. First layer won’t be super-saturated in color, since there isn’t too much pigment yet. You need to seal your work several times and re-draw any details you want to be more saturated. But thanks to working with pencils – it’s an easy and fast process – just remember to always leave sealant layer for recommended time to dry 🙂

Do I need to wet my pencils?

– no, you don’t. But you can. If you want sharp lines, tiny details and great control over the final result – use your pencils dry. If you’ll need a bigger surface to be covered in one color, or maybe a smooth transition between colors – use dry pencils on the doll, and then damp brush to smooth em’ out.

Never ever dip pencil core in water cup! It will make the core soft, mushy and fragile. And you won’t be able to properly sharpen it for days, before all the moisture evaporates.

Watercolor Pencil brands – pros and cons of each

What brands I recommend? What I use? – I worked with Derwent Watercolor, Derwent Inktense, Kooh-i-Noor Mondeluz and Faber Castel. Derwent Watercolor It’s most recommended brand. Easily available online and in stores worldwide. Derwent offers soft core with great saturation. It is also easy to sharpen. Derwent Watercolor pros: – widely available – great quality – great saturation – lots of colors to choose from – can be bought per piece and in sets – easy to sharpen

Derwent Watercolor cons: – fragile core – they sometimes tend to break on the tip if sharpened too much – high price – colors on outer shell are often different than what you get when drawing – make sure to have your own swatches on paper!

Derwent Inktense

Those are basically Chinese inks in form of a pencil. They are meant to be used on silk and cotton fabrics wet and are waterproof when dry. They have great color saturation but give slightly translucent layers. White is their weakest point – you’ll prefer to get it from other brand.

Derwent Inktense pros: – vivid colors – easy to sharpen – can be bought by piece – widely available – tougher core

Derwent Inktense cons: – white gives almost no coverage – any lighter color will be semi translucent – pricey – sadly the outer shell does not match inner core colors as well

Kooh-i-Noor Mondeluz This is a Czech brand with great tradition [they were funded in 1790] and are probably the cheapest watercolor pencils you can get with one of the best quality pigments. They offer big palette of colors in very reasonable prices.

Kooh-i-Noor Mondeluz pros: – they are cheap – lots of colors to choose from – very good saturation – give smooth layers – white offers great coverage – outside shell exactly match core color you’ll get

Kooh-i-Noor Mondeluz cons: – outside of EU mostly available online – they can only be bought in sets – from 12 to 72 colors – they are a bit harder to sharpen – you’ll need new, good quality sharpener because of their smooth inner core

Faber-Castel Albrecht Durer Watercolor pencils

Those are thicker than any other pencils you’ll find. They are easy to grip and offer bold colors. And they cost a ton of gold!

Faber-Castel Albrecht Durer pros: – thick, easy to grip pencils – bold colors – easy to dissolve with water if you want smooth color transitions – can be used with a paintbrush instead of paint

Faber-Castel Albrecht Durer cons: – thick core won’t give you tiniest details – very soft – hard to sharpen – very pricey – hard to find – available only in sets – lesser choice of colors – dry and wet color will look totally different

Best thing about making repaint with watercolor pencils is that you don’t need nothing more to start – no paintbrushes, thinners, cups with water etc. Just the pencils and a sharpener and you’re ready to go! It’s also the most popular artistic medium – we all had pencils as kids, so we all know how to handle them. There is less space for an error than with paints.

Soft Pastels

– soft pastels, or something else?

Pastels are used for blushing and shading. With bigger than 1:6 dolls or for more advanced artists – pastels are often skipped for an airbrush, but they give this soft, natural look that cannot be achieved by anything else. Think of them like a girl’s make up 😉

As any other medium pastels need a basic layer of sealant to grip to. You can use them with normal paintbrushes, Q-tips, cotton swabs or new, unused makeup brushes. I prefer the last option because makeup brushes offer softer bristles than other brushes – that will result in a smooth shading.

You can use the cheapest brushes you’ll find in your local beauty store – they don’t need to be clinically tested or gentle for skin – you’ll use them for dolls only! Why you need a new set of makeup brushes instead of using your old ones? Because human skin is oily. Always. Any type of human skin will be covered in natural sebum, that will over time sip into makeup brush and no washing session can fully clean it from bristles. And as I mentioned before – you need to avoid any oil near your dolls.

You can use soft pastels sold in blocks, or already ground into dust [eg. Pan Pastel]. You can even get pure mineral pigments.

What brands I recommend? What I use? – I mostly use Kooh-i-Noor, Stabilo and mineral pigments. Recommended brands will be same as for watercolor pencils: Derwent, Faber Castel, Prismacolor. You aim for good quality pastels – soft, highly packed with pigments, with small % of binders and fillers.

How to use soft pastels?

you can use them as they are – simply dab your makeup brush over pastel block to get some pigment

you can grind it on sandpaper – 400 or finer grit is best

you can scratch some dust with craft knife over a paper

you can be lazy and buy already ground pastels or pigments 😀

Mineral pigments instead of soft pastels?

I often use pure mineral pigments, that I got for cheap in local eco beauty store. If you want ever to use a human make up product on dolls – you must always check if what you get is a pure mineral product without silicones, parabens or any kind of oils.

Because otherwise – as you already know – you will destroy your doll.

No, Rhonda, your eye shadow set won’t work! No, they are no good, I don’t care how much you’ve paid for them.

Pure mineral pigments are often offered by brands that specialize in mineral make up, like Annabelle Minerals etc. They can also be bought on Etsy from small manufacturers or in local eco beauty stores. They are already finely ground, with no additional fillers, so they offer bold vivid colors with great coverage and smooth layering. You will also often get mineral shimmers and glitters, that are fine enough to be used on doll eye make up. Read the labels, ask seller about full list of ingredients – and you’ll be good 🙂 And those are mineral pigments I have from my local store:

OTHER GOODIES

– what you can use, and what should be avoided at any cost? What else you can use for doll faceup? – any kind of textile glue to attach eyelashes – human grade eyelashes – any craft glitters – 3D paints – any acrylic based inks and contour paints – POSCA acrylic markers – nail art stickers, rhinestones or coloring dust – decals –but you’ll need to seal them at least 2 times after they are dry! What to avoid? – anything with oils – either mineral or natural – human makeup products: powders, eye shadows, eyeliners, body shimmers etc. – normal colored pencils – oil pastels – alcohol-based inks – they will sip into vinyl and destroy it – Sharpies!!! no, they are not good, neither for faces or for hair – they will bleed over time – permanent markers – Mod Podge instead of gloss or varnish – it will get sticky and yellow over time. And no amount of sealant will save it. – nail polish – yes, it will hold to sealed vinyl head, but it’s too stiff when dry and will chip off easily – gouache paints or caulk paints – they will chip off – any cheap art grade spray sealant / fixative – they will get sticky on vinyl and provide no tooth

If you are interested on my notes about dyeing doll hair – check this note here.

Doll LAB: recommended materials. Tips & tricks. What materials do I use? What to avoid? And some basic rules. In this post I will show you which materials I use, which are good for dolls & which you should avoid (and why).

#acrylic paints #derwent #doll repaint #doll sealant #MSC #Munitorum Varnish #Purity Seal #recommended sealant #sealant #watercolor pencils #what sealant #what sealant to use on doll

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comicgeekscomicgeek · 5 years

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Their Hero Academia – Chapter 34: The Sports Festival Part 7: Round Three—FIGHT!

Presenting the next raw and unedited chapter of my on-going, next-gen, My Hero Academia fic, Their Hero Academia!

Earlier chapters can be found here

“Yay, she’s waking up!”

Katsumi’s eyes sprung open and she found herself staring into the wide-eyed face of a little blond five year old. Her younger brother, Tai. Instantly, he threw his arms around her and squeezed her tight.

Slowly, she put her arms around him. “Easy there, Squirt,” she said. “I still kind of feel like I got run over by a train.”

Reluctantly, he pulled his arms away. “Sorry, Big Sister! But I was so worried about you! Papa and Daddy were too!”

“He’s right,” a voice from the foot of the bed said. Katsumi looked past Tai to see Dad and Papa standing there, Papa looking visibly relieved and even Dad looking slightly more relaxed.

“You have us quite the scare, Kid,” Dad said. “I had to keep your papa here from rushing the stage.”

Papa turned nearly as red as his hair. “So I got a little worried! I’m allowed! It’s my right as a parent!”

“It’s your right to be a dumb…butt,” Dad said, quickly correcting his last word, since he was in front of Tai.

It was only then that Katsumi realized she was in the infirmary. It all came back to her in a rush, the fight, the numerous chunks of ice she’d taken to the head. She was certainly never going to underestimate Izzy like that ever again.

Wait.

“Izzy!” she shrieked, making Tai jump in surprise. And she was probably lucky it didn’t make him explode. His Quirk to explode himself and reform was on something of a hair-trigger. Dad was teaching him to control it, but accidents still happened. “Is she…?”

“She’s fine,” Dad said. “IcyHot just texted me before you woke up. Just exhausted herself. You two smacked each other around pretty good.”

Papa crossed his arms over his chest. “You gave us quite a shock, young lady,” he said, attempting to look stern and failing at it, like he always did. “Almost throwing in the towel like that! What were you thinking?”

Katsumi looked down for a moment. “Yeah, well, just needed a few things pounded into my head, I guess.”

“Speaking of pounding your head, don’t worry,” Dad said. “Eri already fixed your nose and wound back some of your other injuries. You’ll be scrapping again in no time.”

“Such a Manly display!” Papa added, his hands in the air in a cheer. “Both of you, giving it all your fighting spirit!”

Dad gave him a punch in the arm, getting a yelp out of Papa. “Settle down, you.” He shook his head. “But I am proud of you, Kid. You made the fight decision, fighting. Still, now I owe IcyHot ¥5000. So that’s your next several allowances.” Only the twitching of his lips betrayed that he was probably kidding about that last part.

“You made a bet on our daughter!?” Papa shrieked, placing a hand over his heart. “Bakubabe, how could you?”

“Relax,” Dad said. “IcyHot didn’t technically agree to it anyway…”

“I’m sorry you lost, Big Sister,” Tai said, looking so forlorn and sad about it that it took everything Katsumi had not to laugh.

Dad came up behind him and bent down so he was at eye level with Tai. “Hey, what’d we talk about, champ?”

“That Big Sister tried her best and gave it her all! And that she’ll try even harder next time! And then she’ll win!”

“Right!” Dad said. “So no frowning, okay?”

“Okay!”

“Do I get a say in this?” Katsumi asked.

As one, Dad and Tai both said, “No!”

So she hadn’t won. Hadn’t even cracked the top eight finalists. Top sixteen, sure. But not nearly as good as she’d have liked. Dad had come in the top three all three of his years at U.A. Papa had done better than that too. Maybe she wasn’t as good as she thought she was?

No, she couldn’t go down that line of thought. She’d been ready to throw in the towel without even trying and come out of that pit motivated to fight as hard as she could. One blow different, maybe one or two different moves, maybe she’d have been the one coming up on top. The important thing was that she’d done the Wo-Manly thing and fought to the very end. That was what she had to keep in mind.

“They gonna let me out of here to go see the rest of the show?” she asked. “I wanna see more of the girl that kicked Monoma’s… butt.” Right. Gotta watch the language around Tai. “Plus Izzy. Did the math. Whoever won was gonna get to kick the Newb around the ring for a while. Sorry it ain’t me. I’d say she’d go soft on him, but she sure as heck didn’t on me…”

Papa nodded. “Eri said you were good to go when you woke up.”

“But you are supposed to take it easy the next couple days,” Dad added, his tone of voice suggesting he didn’t believe she would. “Which is why Tai’s going to be on guard duty.”

Tai drew himself up to his full height, proudly. “I’ll be the best bodyguard ever!”

Katsumi reached over and tussled his hair. “Sure you will, Squirt.”

***

It had taken them a bit to clear the rubble and ice that Katsumi and Izumi’s fight had created, with FireFox melting away the ice and Power Loader and a couple Support Class students clearing away the rubble. So by the time Toshi stepped into the ring, it was practically fresh.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, ignoring the sounds of the crowd. As the son of the Number One Hero, he’d been in the public eye since he was a baby. Before he was born, really. It was easy enough to tune it out. And he was definitely going to need his wits about him for the fight ahead. He wasn’t bothered by fighting his girlfriend from a relationship-damaging point of view. No, he was worried about it because his girlfriend was a) crazy brilliant, b) crazy fast, and c) crazy unpredictable. It made it very hard to figure out what Sora was going to do next under normal circumstances, let alone in a fight.

“And now, it’s another Class 1-A showdown!” Present Mic announced. “Toshinori Midoriya and Sora Iida! One a master of gravity, the other an aerial ace! Will this battle be won in the skies or down on the ground? Only one way to find out!”

“Just tell me someone has All Might accounted for.”

That was a bit unfair, Toshi thought. Grandpa Might hadn’t tried spying on him a few weeks now. That he knew of, anyway.

Hawkeye looked back and forth between him and Sora. “Remember the flight ceiling rule,” she told both of them. “We’ve got cameras and range-finders set up to catch anything. Other than that… FIGHT!”

“My apologies, Toshi, but this victory will be mine!” Sora shouted, before launching herself at him like a missile, the Jetpack pipes on her back firing.

Toshi knew he only had a couple of seconds to act and brought his own gravity down to almost nothing, leaping over Sora just before she impacted with him. “Don’t be so sure about that!” he said, as he turned in midair, landing facing the other direction, as she executed a tight turn to keep herself from going out of the ring.

Sora came at him again. He couldn’t help to match her speed flat out, but so long as he acted in time, he could keep out of her reach. Each time he forced her to turn around, he gained a few precious seconds to think and formulate his own strategy. He leapt over her again, steadying himself for the next go round.

She was racing for him again, her Jetpack still firing strong. Toshi wasn’t sure what Sora’s limits were, didn’t know how long she could keep this up. But he’d seen her fly for long stretches before during training and they hadn’t even hit that amount of time yet. It made just outlasting her a dicey proposition at best and foolish at worst.

This time, when he jumped, he twisted in mid-air again, not to adjust his landing, but to give him a chance to grab her. His hand snapped out, grabbing her ankle. Of course, he was still near-weightless at the time, so he was dragged along as she kept flying.

“Be careful,” Sora said, executing a tighter turn than before. “I would hate to see you go flying!”

Instead of a straight path, she jerked back and forth, zigzagging to try and dislodge him. Toshi had to close his eyes to keep from throwing up. He didn’t have Mom’s problems with nausea, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t just flat out get motion sickness.

Concentrating, he increased his gravity to three times its normal amount, his feet making cracks in the ground as they impacted with it. Still holding on to Sora, he fought against her pull as she increased the power to her Jetpack, to the point where he had to increase his gravity more and dig in his heels… and even then, he was slowly starting to be dragged across the ring, digging great gouges in the concrete!

So he did the only logical thing. He let go.

Sora shot forward like a rocket, no longer impeded by his increased gravity. At the last second before she would have gone out of the ring, tilted sharply upward, flying up into the air, before circling around to come at him again. This time, Toshi tried to meet her head on. He brought his gravity back down to nearly nothing, took several steps back, and then, with a running start, jumped into the air. Unaffected by gravity’s pull, it was like being fired out of a canon. Seconds before impacted with Sora, he increased his gravity, turning himself into a human canon ball.

POW!

He slammed into his girlfriend with considerable force, causing her to cry out, nearly knocking him from the air. Toshi bounced off, falling back to the ground, and springing back up again. This time, she was faster, striking him hard enough to make him fall. He recovered in time to bounce back up again, this time hitting Sora hard enough to make her fall. As he drifted back to the ground, she righted herself, flying back at him and clipping him with her right wing as she went by.

And so it went, blow after blow, each of them nearly falling flat but recovering to strike at the other. But on his last bounce, rather than trying to strike her, Toshi grabbed on, heavily increasing his gravity.

Entangled with Toshi, her Jetpack flared, trying to support both their weights, then faltered, sending them both falling towards the ground. “I am really sorry about this, okay?” he said. “But we said no regrets!” Perhaps just a bit reluctantly, he let Sora go and decreased his own gravity again, floating down.

Sora stopped herself though, her Jetpack Quirk firing in one quick burst before she hit the ground. She landed awkwardly, but was on her feet quickly, ready by the time Toshi’s feet hit the ground.

“That,” she said, “could have hurt! But I am willing to forgive you!” Still on foot, she raced towards him and then activated her Quirk.

He wasn’t expecting it. Sora’s Quirk was primarily flight-based; he hadn’t even thought of her activating it on the ground. But with it accelerating her body and his own gravity at normal, it added enough power to his punch to snap his head around and have him seeing stars.

Again and again, Sora struck him, punches given extra rocket-propulsion by her Quirk. If she wasn’t using it to punch the stuffing out of him, he’d have been impressed by her ingenuity. He just needed to get his head on straight for a second, so he could use his.

And…there. Sora’s punches were slowing down; she must have been overheating her Jetpack after that much use. It gave Toshi the moment he needed, amplifying his gravity several times over. Sora’s next blow struck home, but bolstered by his enhanced gravity, he barely felt it. Surprise rose on her face and she pulled her hand back, clutching her knuckles with her other hand.

There. This was his moment. Toshi struck out with a right handed blow, a Smash-worthy punch that would have done Grandpa Might proud. He hit Sora dead on, spinning her around like a top, until she fell to the ground unconscious.

…He really hoped she’d been serious about the “no regrets” thing.

“Iida is unable to continue!” Hawkeye announced. “Midoriya wins!”

“Talk about your high-speed fights!” Present Mic cheered. “I hope they got that on the slow-motion replay, because that was a rush!”

“At least this one isn’t breaking any bones.”

***

“Absolutely not,” Mother said. Worry marred her features, and Izumi could see that she had been crying. “You nearly collapsed during the Obstacle Course, had to be helped off the Quirkball field, and then you did collapse fighting Katsumi. We can’t allow you to keep up this kind of pace.”

Izumi frowned, uncertain of how to respond, the silence broken only by the slight deep of the monitoring machines Doctor Izumi had hooked her up to. It was true, she had pushed herself to her limits during the Festival so far, perhaps even a bit beyond them. But was the school motto not “Plus Ultra”? Still, it had felt good, giving her all, using her abilities to their fullest, even as her body had ached and she had felt exhaustion working its way into her every cell. So much heat had passed through her body; if not for her regulator rig, she very likely would have burned up, maybe even taken someone with her. But she had pushed through it and fought. And won. Against Katsumi, one of the fiercest fighters in their class.

Her cheek still stung where Katsumi had punched her and she imagined she had a rather nasty bruise forming, perhaps even a black eye. That, in and of itself, was a victory. She dearly loved her friend, but she could not have allowed Katsumi to simply throw her chance away like that. It would have eaten away at her, little by little, poisoning her mind. Nor, she realized, could she have thrived under such conditions herself. Katsumi cared for her, protected her, but now understood that she could stand on her own as well. She only wished she had realized earlier just how deeply her friend’s feelings towards her went. Even with Katsumi’s confession and their conversation, it had obviously not been as settled as she thought.

“I shall manage, Mother,” she said. “There is time enough to rest before my next match.”

“Is that really what you want, Izumi?” Father asked. He did not wear his emotions on his sleeve like Mother did, but for someone as familiar with him as she was, they were quite clear. He was worried about her too, both her physical health and her mental health. The scars, both figurative and literal, of his own upbringing ran deep. He worried constantly about her limits and pushing her too hard; they had her grandfather to blame for that. “You don’t have to prove anything. Not to us, not to anyone.”

“Except to myself,” she said. “I may or may not have the strength to continue the Tournament, but I will not know unless I try.”

“I’m not letting you endanger your health for some point of pride,” Mother said, firmly. “There’ll be other chances, next year, or…”

“No!” Izumi snapped. “I want to do this. I need to do this! I have to know if I can!”

“You’ve got to think about your future, about your health! You’re just like your father, full of stubborn pride!”

Mother was acting just like Katsumi. Trying to protect her, look out for her. But she had left the nest. She was her to learn to be her best. And she could not do that if everywhere kept treating her like she would break if left to her own devices or allowed to actually push herself the way others were.

“I am thinking about my future! How do you think anyone will look upon a future Hero who had to withdraw because she was ‘tired’?”

“Izumi!” Mother snapped, ready to unleash another tirade.

“I think we should let her,” Father said, before either of them could bombard the other with another argument.

Mother shot him an angry glare. “Shoto, how can you even suggest she…”

Father shook his head. “Were you listening, Momo? To what she told Katsumi?”

Mother crossed her arms. “Of course I did! She stood up for herself! Told Katsumi to take her seriously and not shelter her! And…”

Her mother trailed off for a moment, then her eyes went wide and she pressed a hand to her mouth. “And I’m doing the same thing… aren’t I?”

Father crossed the room and put Mother’s shoulders. “You are. You always have. I’m guilty of it too. We both know why. I understand it. But we have to let her be try. You and I both know about too many regrets and what if’s.”

There was something more being unsaid here, Izumi thought. Something she wasn’t being told. But she could pursue that line of questioning another day. For now, her heart beat rapidly in her chest; the possibility that she might actually get to continue was so very close.

Mother frowned. “I… You’re right. Of course, you are. I worry…” She looked at Izumi again. “We both worry about you, Izumi. Always. After how we nearly lost you… It nearly killed me to see you fighting like that out there.”

Perhaps this wasn’t going her way after all.

“But,” Mother went on, “I suppose I am just going to have to get used to it. I’ll worry no less when you become a Hero yourself.”

Her parents separated, each taking up a spot on either side of her bed. “I can’t promise I won’t be a nervous wreck,” Mother said, “but you have my permission to keep fighting.”

“Mine too,” Father said. And then he smiled. “We’re proud of you, you know. And I can lord your victory over Bakugo for weeks.”

***

“And now we come to the last fight of the first round! Asuka Tokoyami versus Kana Tetsutetsu! The familiar fighter against the steel-fisted striker! Can Tokoyami’s Frog-Shadow pierce Tetsutetsu’s guard, or will Tetsutetsu’s Iron Fist triumph over the floating, fighting frog? Let’s find out!”

“Hn. At least I can count on these two to be sensible in their fight.”

“Are you ready?” Asuka said out loud.

Let me at her, Boss! I’ll go full amphibian on her!

Frog-Shadow, it seemed, was as excitable as always. But her other half had demonstrated remarkable synchronicity with her during the other two events, so Asuka was actually confident that Frog-Shadow would fall in line as best she could for this fight.

Her opponent was no joke. Kana Tetsutetsu was a good friend of both Kirishima-Bakugo and Toshi, as well as Mineta and Koda, so she was hardly a stranger to Class 1-A. Asuka herself had been getting to know her during Student Council meetings. And while her Quirk of transforming her arms into metal was a relatively simple one, she backed it up with martial skill that more than made up for the simplicity of her Quirk.

“Ready?” Hawkeye asked, and when they both nodded, the teacher took a step back, out of the ring. “Fight!”

Tetsutetsu gave her a small bow. “May the best woman win,” she said.

Asuka returned the bow in kind. “May the best woman win,” she agreed.

And thus the fight began. “Frog-Shadow… go!” Asuka shouted, summoning her familiar. Frog-Shadow erupted from her midsection, a glowing-green frog-shaped figure of light even in the afternoon sun.

“Face my wrath!” Frog-Shadow shouted, flying towards Tetsutetsu like a spear.

Tetsutetsu wasn’t backing down though, instead, she converted both her arms to shining metal and brought them up in an X in front of her face. Her “Ultimate Guard” technique, Asuka believed it was called. Frog-Shadow impacted with a shower of green sparks, but bounced off, looping back around.

But Tetsutestsu didn’t waste any time waiting for Frog-Shadow’s next attack, racing forward. She crossed the distance between the two of them with remarkable speed, putting Asuka immediately on the defensive as she dodged blows from her steely fists. She had to protect her head. It was a large enough target and one blow from one of Tetsutetsu’s metal fists was probably all it would take to knock her down.

“Frog-Shadow, to me!” Quickly, the recalled Frog-Shadow and the world went green.

“Oh, you done it now,” Frog-Shadow said, settling over her like a suit of armor. “We’re breaking out the combo-moves!”

Tetsutetsu just laughed. “Good! I like a challenge!” She took a step back and launched a kick towards them, connecting hard. Frog-Shadow’s armor held, but there was still surprising force behind the blow.

“Off!”

The blow knocked Asuka back, even with Frog-Shadow protecting her. Curse her for a fool, she’d been so focused on Tetsutetsu’s Quirk that she hadn’t been thinking she would fight with anything else. It was not a mistake she’d be making again.

Tetsutetsu struck out again, this time with a metal arm. But Asuka got her guard up, blocking it with her left arm and delivering her own Frog-Shadow enhanced blow with her right. She struck Tetsutetsu hard in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of her and buying a few seconds of space and time.

Asuka pressed her attack, sending Frog-Shadow out again to attack. Her familiar shot out, her “tether” wrapping around Tetsutetsu several times, finally ending up behind her, pinning her arms to her side.

“Ha! We’ve got you now!” Frog-Shadow taunted.

Tetsutetsu simply grinned. “Maybe.” Her arms suddenly shifted back to flesh, shrinking just enough that Frog-Shadow was not so tightly wrapped around her. “Maybe not!”

Both of her arms shot up, slamming into Frog-Shadow’s face. The light-being let out a cry of pain and retreated, snapping back to Asuka. She winced too, gritting her teeth. Frog-Shadow’s pain wasn’t exactly her pain… but the two of them were still deeply linked.

“She tricked me! She tricked me! No fair!”

“Quit complaining and fight!” Asuka shouted.

Frog-Shadow shot out again and again, each time blocked by Tetutetsu’s guard. Neither of them was gaining much around and the reverse held true when Tetsutetsu found space to press her attack. Asuka would recall Frog-Shadow like armor, blocking until she could strike and drive her back. Their Quirks were very, very different, but provided both of them with enough attack and defense that neither could find space past the other.

This continued for several minutes and even though most of the blows had not impacted upon her directly, Asuka was beginning to tire. But so, it seemed, was Tetsutetsu. She’d taken several steps back in an attempt to buy herself a few moments.

“We gonna go for this, Boss?” Frog-Shadow asked.

Despite something telling her there was more to this than met the eye, Asuka knew they couldn’t endure many more assaults. If this was to be ended, it had to be now. “Do it,” she breathed.

“FROGGY….PUNCH!” Frog-Shadow shot out again, hands raised and ready to rain down blows on Tetsutetsu.

Tetsutetsu brought her metal hands up… just right to catch the sun. Light reflected off them like a mirror, right into Frog-Shadow’s eyes. “What the heck?!” Frog-Shadow cried out, trying to shield her eyes.

Asuka tried to recall her, but before she could, Tetsutetsu’s arm snapped out, grabbing the tether that connected her to Frog-Shadow. She gave a powerful yank and Asuka found herself lifted off her feet, flying towards Tetsutetsu. The last thing she remembered seeing before all she could see were stars was a metal fist heading towards her face.

“Tokoyami is unable to continue!” she head Hawkeye shout. “Tetsutetsu wins!”

“Now that’s what I call a knock-out fight! That finishes up the first seed of the Tournament, folks! We’ll be back for the second seed in just a moment, with more hot U.A. action!”

“Is that enough time for a coffee, Mic?”

“Sure it… Ooooh no, you’re not escaping that easy, Eraser!”

#my hero academia #their hero academia #fan fic #fan fiction #my writing #toshi midoriya #izumi todoroki #katsumi kirishima-bakugo #asuka tokoyami #sora iida #momo yaoyorozu #shoto todoroki #katsuki bakugo #eijiro kirishima

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mccxvii-blog1 · 5 years

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hey so i noticed posts about hannibal and scipio but like... which one do you prefer, if either? which one is best?

OH BOY this is a tough one, but I’ll try to answer it as best I can? Also, I’ll only talk about them in relation to one another, rather than speaking about their lives pre- and post- Second Punic War (or outside of each other? I guess?) Let’s talk about this in terms of military stuff, since military stuff is what I love best.

If you’re talking about Hannibal, you have to talk about Cannae, since it’s often argued to be his best success. In essence, it’s remarkable probably both because of the sheer number of Romans killed or captured, the fact that Hannibal had fewer troops, and the fact that it was a complete annihilation of the Roman troops. No matter whose numbers you look at, the most Romans estimated to have survived and escaped equal about a fifth of those that went into the battle - and at its worst, less than 800 Romans made it out of almost 87000. Regardless of who’s right, it’s pretty impressive when you consider Hannibal had fewer troops to work with. Cannae was also an example of a successful pincer movement - and one of the earliest known examples of one to boot - and it set the precedent for the archetypal battle of annihilation, a model that people have been trying to recreate in war ever since. Cannae redefined war, reshaped the Roman army,

Then there’s the Trebia, and in the prelude to that, he took up a central position between the armies of Scipio (not the one you’re referring to, his father) and Sempronius to prevent their armies from reaching one another. This was after he’d already defeated Scipio in the Battle of Ticinus, hence why Sempronius’ army was needed for reinforcements. That was another Roman disaster, as communication between Sempronius and Scipio was generally just appalling, and hey, maybe wading through a freezing cold river and giving all your soldiers hypothermia isn’t the best way to win a battle.

The Battle of Lake Trasimene was equally tragic for the Romans, and an example of a strategic turning movement on Hannibal’s part (and this again was the earliest documented example of one). He cut Flaminius’ troops off from Rome after failing to lure them into battle, given that Flaminius had cautiously and passively refused to respond to Hannibal’s devastation of the nearby land & Rome’s allies. Eventually, Hannibal was able to incense Flaminius to the point of him marching to battle, despite his advisors suggesting that perhaps he ought to, you know, wait for reinforcements. Come to think of it, a lot of Hannibal’s early victories came from Roman rashness. Anyway, Hannibal’s troops ambushed Flaminius’ on the shores of Lake Trasimene, forcing the westernmost group of three into the river and cutting down the central group with brute force from the Gauls. Any who tried to escape were captured and sold into slavery, and those aforementioned reinforcements were intercepted and cut down a day or so later.

After Lake Trasimene, Fabius was appointed dictator, and though the Fabian strategy was initially unpopular, it did eventually prove useful in dealing with Hannibal to some extent. That being said, this wasn’t until some time after Hannibal’s army outwitted Fabius’ in the Battle of Ager Falernus, damaging Fabius’ reputation pretty badly and ensuring that Hannibal’s troops could spend the winter in Falernum as opposed to Campania.

This sort of trend continued for several years, with Rome repeatedly being driven into higher states of panic as Hannibal secured dominance over Italy until Scipio (the one you mentioned, this time) helped turn the tide with victories in Iberia and managed to force Hannibal back to Africa for Zama. That being said, for some years before that in Italy, Rome and Carthage had appeared to settle at some sort of stalemate, with several Carthaginian losses occurring - though typically under commanders other than Hannibal (it was Zama, after all, that removed Hannibal’s air of invincibility).

I think the main distinction between the two is that Hannibal is best known for his invention of clever strategies and Scipio’s genius lay largely in being able to deconstruct them.

Though Scipio was capable of coming up with his own tactics and manoeuvres like Hannibal was, his most-applauded battles seem to involve strategies that appeared to come directly from Hannibal himself. Ilipa, argued by many to be his greatest military success, is described as a “reverse Cannae” largely due to the positioning of his men, and Zama was such a success because Scipio had studied Hannibal enough to know his tactics and come up with a counter to his most dangerous assets. It took the complete reorganisation of his men to do so, but the point is that he did it. Scipio excelled particularly at picking Hannibal’s strategies apart and using the pieces to make something of his own, whether identical, reversed, or some sort of direct counter. That ability to deconstruct is what proved most vital.

In the earlier years of his career, though, Scipio seems pretty lucky to me. He survived Ticinus, he survived Cannae, he survived a standoff with potential Roman deserters. It was only after he landed in Spain that things became interesting, with his capture of Carthago Nova obtaining him supplies and a strategically-placed base. In 209 BC, he drove Hasdrubal, Hannibal’s brother, back and routed his troops using a double envelopment tactic (not unlike Hannibal’s own at Cannae), and though it didn’t do much to damage Carthaginian advances on Italy, it was still an impressive victory. Hasdrubal’s re-arrival in Italy led to the Battle of the Metaurus, too, which resulted in his death and a massive blow to any hopes of further long-lasting Carthaginian dominance in Italy.

But back to Ilipa, because I like Ilipa, and also because it’s the height of Scipio’s tactical talent, probably because he permanently shook loose Carthage’s hold on Iberia. He was faced with the combined forces of both Mago Barca and Hasdrubal Gisco, and in essence, he was able to effectively counter the Carthaginians because of the rearrangements of his troops, which the Carthaginians couldn’t adapt to due to Scipio’s decision for his forces to form said arrangements much closer to the enemy than they typically would, reducing the amount of time they had to react to the unexpected change. Funnily enough, the easiest way I can explain that is through images, so. Here, have some wikipedia pictures: here’s the typical formation of Roman troops, and here’s the formation used by Scipio at Ilipa.

Other notable successes of Scipio’s occurred in Africa, though not all of them can really be considered “battles.” By stealthily setting fire to the camp of combined Carthaginian and Numidian forces in 203 BCE in a manoeuvre reminiscent of Hannibal’s own ambush tactics, then slaughtering the panicked and fleeing troops, he secured an easy victory against the few survivors at the Battle of the Great Plains and eliminated any threat posed by Syphax and those Numidians under him (i.e. the Masaesyli). And then, of course, we have Zama. I could talk about Zama all day, but following the rawest peace chat ever, Scipio claimed victory, leading to the end of the Second Punic War and the battle earning the title of “Roman Cannae.” Given the scope of the destruction to the Carthaginian troops (reports from Appian, Polybius and Livy indicate that of 40,000 troops, somewhere between 33,500 and 40,000 were captured or killed. Yeah. I know) and the fact that Scipio is reported to have had the smaller force (while still only losing 4000-5000 of his men), it’s not too difficult to see why.

Rather than dragging this on painfully, I’ll say that from a personal standpoint, I think I find them both equally impressive. Between the parallels you can draw between them or just looking at them individually, they’re both pretty fascinating. Also Hannibal using snakes and Scipio throwing a tantrum at the Senate are both valid. In terms of military achievement, you can assess them in several ways. For complete ingenuity in terms of pioneering new strategies, Hannibal probably just has the edge; for tactical rearranging and the ability to deconstruct and counter most any strategy, Scipio probably wins out. From a pure win/loss perspective (and only taking into account battles they were commanders in), Scipio was completely undefeated; Hannibal suffered losses. That being said, Hannibal’s campaign was longer than Scipio’s; he lived longer. Which one I speak about the most at any point honestly changes. I guess for “which one is best,” it depends on how you want to judge them; for my own personal opinion, I’d say it’s about even.

#hannibal barca #scipio africanus #carthage #ancient rome #rome #ancient history #i ranted a lot jfc im so sorry #scrabbles

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