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crowniko · 10 months

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Will of the Heart

Chapter One

Word Count: 3.6k

Content: Gender neutral Reader, Angst, Injury, Memory loss, swearing, canon-typical violence, lotsss of emotions, some fluff?, mentions of tattoos

Note: So sorry that the start of this is pretty heavy, but I swear it get's fluffy real soon! Expect cute shopping dates and ballroom dances >:) -Nico

You were suspended in time, back against the ground and face towards the endless night sky. Only the crescent moon above returned your gaze, almost pitying as the air whipped against your face. The white garbs you wore flapped, almost tearing off of your skin as the sky shrunk.

What was happening?

The moon heard your unspoken question, and shined its cool light against your face, revealing the balcony you once stood upon. Your eyes fell upon a figure, but before you could make out their face, a book blocked your view.

It floated above you, its pages flapping around like a broken plea. You reached up and grabbed it, holding it tight as you met your fate together.

Your back crashed against the sand, shadowed by the kingdom so large that you, too, looked like a spec of sand within an endless desert.

Maybe you would fall in, and accept your fate as a small grain of sand. Closing your eyes, the air was torn from your lungs. It burned.

However, even as your head rang like a bell as it smacked against the sand, all you could hear were the words you heard not even moments ago.

You didn’t recognize the muffled voice, but you remembered what they said. Yes– just a minute ago you stood upon the balcony of the unforgiving kingdom, staring at the endless sea of sand, holding the book you grasped now to your chest, as someone appeared behind you. Before you could turn around, something hit your head, sending you off of the balcony.

Their words seemed almost cynical now as you passed out.

“It’s time to wake up.”

A bell chimed in the room behind you. Your feet swayed back and forth while you gripped the warm mug. The sky was clear with no clouds to cover the moon’s beauty. Your left side was warm. Someone snickered as you heard a muffled conversation. Looking to your side, your eyes widened as you saw a distorted figure, gray and blurry though the rest of the world seemed clear as day.

Your eyes burning, you focused enough to make out a clear smile on their face. It was absurdly large and almost scary, yet you only felt a familiar– but foreign– warmth deep in your chest. It was like that first sip of hot coffee.

Wait– coffee?

You looked down back to the mug you held, and no longer was it the creamy brown liquid, but a cold black tea. Looking up you found yourself in a new room, sitting in a chair with a back long enough to tower over you. The table you sat at was long, lined with similar chairs.

Dark figures with piercing eyes stared at you, and just as you felt the comforting warmth of that person, it bled out like water from a shattered glass.

The cup you held now scattered on black tiled floor below you.

“What are you doing?” A deep voice echoed in the large room. Your head turned sharply to your left, only to see his face.

Aizen glared at you, “What do you think you’re doing?”

You gasped, shooting up out of the sand. Aizen and the figures disappeared, and it was made clear that you were only dreaming.

Right?

Your hand trembled as you brought it up, looking at the sand that fell through your fingertips. It was cold. An ache formed in your neck as you bent your head up to look at the building to your side. It was tall enough where you couldn’t see the top. Wide enough where you couldn’t see where it ended.

You needed to get back insi–

A sudden pain shocked your brain. You gasped out, clutching your head as the pain seized your body. It hurt. Everything hurt. Tears bubbled up in your eyes as you heard a scream.

Your scream.

Falling back against the sand, you tried to muffle the cacophony of noise ringing in your mind by covering your ears. Voices and conversations rang out as if you were in a large gathering.

But no– it was all disconnected.

It was–

“Wake up.”

It was the voice from before. The one who pushed you.

“It’s time to wake up.”

Pain shot through your skull, and once more your neck burned with a shrill scream.

“Remember.”

Remember what?

“Remember!”

“I don’t understand!” You cried.

However, you were then met with a different voice.

“Ahh man!” Someone whined, “It’s freezin.”

Your mind spun as you were taken somewhere else, someplace where snow fell to the ground. It crunched beneath your feet while you carried something in your hand.

You remember looking over to the whining person.

The person was once again blurry, but you walked up close enough to feel their warmth radiate from their body. Within, what seemed like a memory or a dream, you grabbed their hands. They were freezing.

You sighed, “Captain, you should’ve brought gloves.”

Captain?

Your hands moved back as you started to slip off your own gloves, “Here.” Before they could refuse, you put your gloves on their hands. They helped towards the end, seeing you struggle with the pinky that obviously didn’t want to slip on their hand.

Pleased, you turned around, picked up your bag, and continued forward. You didn’t hear their footsteps follow.

“Won’t you be cold?” They hadn’t moved, and even though you couldn’t see their face, you felt their gaze burn into your eyes. It was unnerving.

But you smiled, “I’m fine! Before I was a Soul Reaper I lived in an area that snowed during the winter. It’s nice! Makes me a bit nostalgic–but don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for summer!” You sauntered forward as they now joined you, swinging your bag back and forth without a care, “Ah~ The Squad Markets will be all warm, and my favorite melon will be in season again!”

“Squad 8 will be hosting a festival too. Kyoraku’s been yapping my ear off about how stressed he is.”

“You poor soul.”

“I know.”

“Oh that’s right!” You had ignored them and rolled up your sleeve, pointing to something on your arm, “Kyoraku hasn’t seen this yet! I can’t wait to see the look on his face!” You laughed along with the person beside you, and for that moment everything felt warm on such a cold day.

But that was long ago.

Now, you sat in the cold sand of a desolate desert, tears flowing down your cheeks.

Who was that person?

Who was this Kyoraku?

You were a Soul Reaper?

The questions wouldn’t stop echoing in your mind, and each time you thought of it a new pain shocked you. Your head hurts.

Everything did.

How could you be a Soul Reaper? You were a hollow– one of Lord Aizen's best!

Out of all of the thoughts though, that one hurt the most. Unlike the others, however, it brought a new pain in your chest. It was wrong. Something was wrong. These… dreams, memories, whatever they were, they were causing something to shift in you.

You didn’t remember the snow, yet you grew up in it?

No. You couldn’t have. You– pausing, you looked down at your arm. Didn’t you do something to it?

If something was there, then maybe this was true?

There couldn’t be though, the last you saw your arm there was nothing there. Nothing. Grabbing your right sleeve, you pulled up the tight fabric until it bunched at your elbow.

Nothing.

But– something in your gut turned, and before you noticed you were doing anything, your left hand shifted. Pointing your pointer and middle finger up, you moved them to the left as if you were drawing a line.

It was like mist being blown by the wind, dissipating into the air. Your arm was uncovered, and now all you could do was stare at the flowers tattooed into your skin.

Similar to the mist on your arm, the clouds fogging up your mind were beginning to thin. Things were becoming clear. Seeing the flowers only brought more tears down your face, but it wasn’t like before.

It wasn’t because of the painful headache, nor the burning in your chest.

It was daunting, the realization coming upon you. You don’t know who triggered this, but you knew three things for sure.

You weren’t going back into the kingdom.

You weren’t a hollow.

You were a Soul Reaper.

Though your legs trembled, you stood up while wiping your face clean. Glaring up at the kingdom, you sent it one last look before turning the opposite direction.

You ran.

You ran until you were out of his shadow.

Exhaustion rippled through your veins like fire. Broken trees and small hollows were the only signs of life you saw– but even then, the trees were dead and the hollows were dead too. Your breath was visible as the temperature dropped, and soon you noticed how much you slowed down.

Stumbling, you gasped out as you crashed against the sand. A cough rippled from your lungs, and through your one cracked eye you could see your hand trembling.

Were you injured?

No. The shock of everything was still fresh.

But you had to keep moving.

You couldn’t stop.

Everything seemed distorted as you started to run once more. Nothing seemed real. Memories continued to pour in now. The dam that was cracked before was shattering. Your teeth chattered as you thought back to the last few years. It was clear now, the life you were living was a facade.

A facade created by Aizen.

Betrayal twisted your mouth into a frown as venom seeped against your tongue. Rage. Devastation. Emotions swirled through you like a typhoon, and as everything came back to you, you realized this wasn’t the first time he betrayed you.

Clouds began to blanket the sky, and the light you followed began to dim. Darkness consumed you. Legs burning, you still ran in the shadows, fueled by the rage coursing through your veins.

It was as though this darkness seeped into you. It tried to pull you down as you stumbled through the sand. Until a ray of light poked through the clouds and you caught sight of something.

It brushed against your nose.

It was… hair?

You’ve seen it before.

Yet you were pulled away from where you stood, brought into the chasm of your memories until you found yourself in a hospital bed. White blankets covered your legs as you sat up, resting with bandages around your arms. The pain had been numbed, but you still felt a hand land on yours.

Looking up, you saw the blurry person once more. They weren’t smiling. You didn’t remember what put you in this hospital bed, but that didn’t matter. The person leaned forward, and gently with their fingers they grasped the strand of hair in front of your face. It was colored differently than the rest of your hair.

“I think that it’s empowering– a battle wound! Dontcha’ think?” They said, their smile starting to poke through the gray fog.

“What do you mean?” You said.

“You saved us.” Though they smiled, their tone was serious, “Saved me. This is proof of your strength, don’t be ashamed of that.” The person then snickered, “Show it off, it’s cool!”

“Oh please.” You looked away, but a smile crept up on your lips.

“There’s a smile!” Something pinched your cheeks, and suddenly you were laughing. It bubbled up out of your chest as they pinched your other cheek.

“Oi! Stop pinching my cheeks! Shinji!”

Your eyes widened as his name fell from your lips. Everything froze, but a light broke through the curtain, and finally the mist lifted from the person next to you.

His smile shined through.

How could you ever forget?

Shinji’s hair flowed down his white coat like a golden river, and his brown eyes glowed with a comforting warmth. Even though he had pinched your cheeks, his touch was gentle, and he never weighed too much on your bed. He never hurt you. Instead, he made you smile. He stayed until you were discharged, and helped you back to your barracks.

He even brought you coffee the next morning.

Memories sparked like fireworks through the night, bringing you back to the times when you two would sit on his deck and would watch the stars. You would talk all night.

He would bring up something absurd, and you couldn’t help but think– how did this idiot become my captain?

But under the same moon he would cut through the battlefield until he reached you, and easily tear through the hollow giving you trouble. He was powerful.

Yet he would then turn to you and smirk– say something stupid and make you laugh, even though blood coated your zanpakuto.

He was ridiculous.

He was your leader.

Your best friend.

And the man you–no.

That was decades ago, and you forgot him.

Just when you thought you stopped the tears, they began to pour down your cheeks as you ran forward once more. Sobs shook your shoulders and tears blurred your vision. Anger brewed in your chest.

You were angry at yourself.

Angry at Aizen.

Angry at the universe.

How could this happen? How could you ever forget him?

The moon wasn’t able to answer your question that time. The sand below you gave way, and once more you were suspended in time– back to the ground and face towards the endless night sky. The moon rid herself of the clouds and shined down upon you until the sand blanketed the sky. Dead trees rose up, piercing the sandy sky, trying so desperately to reach the surface you fell from.

You should be crying.

Screaming.

But you laughed instead. Laughed as the air whipped around your face and tears floated above you like rain drops.

Because within that moment, you remembered.

You remembered your name.

With your eyes closed, time took you elsewhere.

The sky was blue.

You soared high above the ground, falling slowly compared to the hollow beside you. The sun warmed your back.

With one flip forward, you controlled your speed and rolled safely onto the tiled ground. The hollow fizzled while you sheath your blade, your gaze apathetic while walking back to your station.

Ahead of you was a large domed building with a boisterous gathering chattering away within it. Along the tiled pathway were patches of green grass that danced against the wind, while you brushed back your hair. Looking up, you noticed someone in your spot. Odd.

He stood in front of the large door, but he didn’t carry a weapon. Nor was he in the right uniform you wore. Unlike your white robes with red ribbons, he was in black robes. Your eyes widened when you noticed the white coat he adorned on his shoulders.

He was a Soul Reaper.

He also seemed frustrated about the wind as he pulled his long brown hair back into a clumsy knot. Some hair fell out, but once his eyes landed on you, he didn’t seem to care anymore. He gave you a smile, but you only raised an eyebrow, resting your arm on the hilt of your sword.

“You’re quite strong! Thank you… ah, what’s your name?” He scratched his cheek, waiting for your response.

“I’m just doing my duty a guard. Thank you.” You responded. You tried to stay professional, but his aloof nature caught you off guard.

Everyone else at these meetings were rigid and could care less about the guards.

“No–I mean I know that.” He stopped and coughed, standing up straight with a charming smile, “Here, I should’ve started. Pardon my rudeness. I’m Kyoraku Shunsui, Captain of Squad 8 in the Royal Court Guard Squad. You are?” He held out his hand.

You blanked.

You could’ve ignored the odd man.

But your gut said otherwise.

You took his hand, and giving him a small smile, you told him your name.

Time could be cruel.

How much time has passed since then? You thought.

How much time has passed since you regained your memories? It had to have been a few months now. Dreams and memories struck you during your sleep, and now you had to wake up with tears crusted on the corners of your eyes and back twisted from the unforgiving rock you slept on.

The Menos Forest was also cruel.

Like the dead trees that towered above, Menos Grande walked around and killed anything they spotted. You were no exception.

But this wasn’t your first time in this hellhole.

You continued to rush forward towards an unknown destination. Blood trickled down your arm from a fresh cut, and your hands were bruised enough that gripping your Zanpakuto sent shocks of pain down your arms. You clenched your teeth and flashed forward, your ankle screaming in pain.

Ignore it.

Jumping high above the ground within the dead forest, you saw flying hollows race towards you. It didn’t stop you. Cutting through them, you leapt until you spotted a group of Menos in the distance. They sauntered forward, with no direction in mind either.

However, one in particular strayed from the pack.

Your eyes locked onto it and you dashed forward. Keeping your distance, you watched as it moved irregularly.

Yes.

This is what you wanted.

But your vision was hazy, body tired, and spirit exhausted. Food was sparse down here, and water was also hard to come by. You couldn’t help the quiver in your legs or tremble in your stance.

All you wanted to do was lay down, but laying down won’t get you anywhere.

You were taught in the Academy that rest was crucial for growth and endurance. How was your body supposed to heal and grow stronger if you didn't give it the time to keep up?

You should’ve listened to your teachers more.

Your eyes dimmed, and soon you were stumbling against the branch, barely holding onto the trunk. It took all of your strength just to stay upright, since you knew that falling wouldn’t be good in this state.

Maybe just a second of rest wouldn't hurt?

You closed your eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath. Wind whirled around, whistling an eerie tune throughout the forest.

If you really blocked everything out, you could pretend you were elsewhere. Sitting on a hill during the summer, letting the breeze ruffle your hair. Sipping an iced drink and laughing with your friends.

Anywhere but here.

Anywhere.

But these daydreams weren’t any different than the ones from yesterday. Or the day before that. It was what kept you going when everything was telling you to give up.

You couldn’t though, you had two reasons why you continued to push forward. The first one was marked on your soul. A promise. You promised them all that day– that horrible day– that you would find your way back to them.

However, the second one kept your body moving when it seemed impossible. It burns through your veins like adrenaline, and sharpens your mind even when you haven't slept.

It was the instinct to survive.

And it was instinct that led you to this moment.

When you opened your eyes, you noticed a bright light in the distance. An odd, warm air blew against you from that direction. Your heart stopped.

Forgetting all of the pain and exhaustion in your body, you flashed forward, eyes landing on the sight you've dreamt of for months–hell, years now!

A large garganta split through the forest.

A way out.

However, you saw the Menos from before as it took a step back, seemingly retreating.

No.

Shooting forward you brought your zanpakuto out for one powerful slash that cut the menos in half, and you shot through the gap, towards the light.

The darkness. The cold. It was torn from your body as if you fell into a warm bubble. Your eyes still closed, you felt yourself fall to the ground and land on something soft.

Though the light blinded your eyes, you cracked them open to see your hands and knees against the grass. It was warm.

Everything was.

You noticed tears dropping onto your hand, slowly wetting the grass like morning dew.

With the warmth of the sun on your back, the realization finally hit you.

You were out of Hueco Mundo.

Your face broke into a smile as your neck craned up to look at the sky. Everything was blurry and too bright, almost like a dream.

But it was real.

It had to be!

Greenery surrounded you. A forest. Or was it a park? You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been in one. However, a distant voice caught your failing attention. Though your eyes began to droop as the exhaustion kicked in, your gaze fell on a small group of people.

Only one caught your eye.

He had bright orange hair that reminded you of the sun.

The sun… Oh it felt wonderful on your skin. Your body trembled, and it felt as though you were still falling even though you remained fallen on the ground. Black dots clouded your vision.

Your heart began to race.

You couldn’t pass out here.

You fought so hard to get here! You had to move. Summoning all of the strength in your body, you tried to move. Tried to twitch a finger, but all you could do was breathe. You really couldn’t do anything.

All you could do was picture his face.

Hirako Shinji. Your friend. Captain. Best Friend. And…

He was everything to you.

So as your vision finally succumbed to the darkness, all you saw was his smile. The smile that you had to find again.

Author's note: I hope y'all enjoyed the start of my fic! Lots of familiar characters will appear next chapter, and the fluff truly begins! Shinji will be in it A LOT more too, just had to get everything introduced this chapter

#bleach #shinji hirako #shinji hirako x reader #bleach x reader #fanfiction #writing #shinji hirako fic #shinji hirako fluff #bleach angst #bleach fluff #bleach fanfiction #will of the heart

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crowniko · 9 months

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Will of the Heart

Chapter 2

Word Count: 8.7k

Content: Gender neutral Reader, Angst, Injury, Memory loss, swearing, canon-typical violence, trauma, anxiety

Note: Hi!!! I'm sorry that this took me so long! I got writer's block:( but it's here now!:D This is pretty long, just to warn y'all. Maybe grab a snack or something. Also, I promise that it's gonna get really fluffy here soon, okay? Just hang in there, we gotta get through the angst to get to the fluff>:) I'm so excited to write Chapter 3! I hope you all enjoy though, thanks for waiting! -Nico

After over 20 years of misery and torment, you had the idea that fate wasn’t too kind to you. That you weren’t lucky.

But surprisingly, that changed.

As life did.

You let out a sigh, head craned up to look at the motionless blue sky. Rocks and boulders surrounded you as a still heat brushed your skin. Something buzzed ahead of you.

Your heart raced as a nervous bead of sweat trailed down your neck. You gripped the cane in your hand tighter, feeling the comforting presence of your zanpakuto within.

Everything was different now. You could laugh, a smile of disbelief twisting your lips.

After everything that happened for the past 20 years, you now had the audacity to think that you were pretty lucky.

Insanely lucky, in fact.

Maybe the universe decided to give you a break.

You welcomed it.

Since, a few months ago when you woke up after escaping Hueco Mundo, you weren’t left to face the World of the Living by yourself. After passing out, you thought that you would wake up starved and by yourself. Maybe Aizen would find you and bring you back. Maybe you wouldn’t wake up at all.

But instead you found yourself in a bed, with two old friends sitting ahead of you.

They saved you.

Urahara Kisuke and Shihoin Yoruichi.

You couldn’t believe it, but even so they continued to help you without question.

They couldn’t believe it either, they told you many times.

So instead of the neverending solitude you thought you were confined to, you were broken free.

Your physical health was still abysmal, but your spirits were turning around for the better. Connecting with Kisuke and Yoruichi was a dream.

And meeting an unlikely friend.

He was only a human soul– a young one.

Yet he wasn’t immune to the Soul Society’s grasp.

Just a day after you woke up in Kisuke’s home, Kisuke and Yoruichi left suddenly– only to bring back Kurosaki Ichigo. He was injured from battle, and you learned the overall situation pretty quickly after Tessai brought you up to speed.

Tessai was also a great surprise to see again.

He told you about Kuchiki Rukia and how Ichigo became a Substitute Soul Reaper. An odd situation for sure.

But what caught you by surprise was the fact that the Soul Society brought a Captain and Lieutenant to take care of the human boy.

It was overkill, barbaric– and smelled of Aizen.

You didn’t tell Ichigo that though.

And you could tell that Kisuke and Yoruichi thought the same, but they too, didn’t say anything. Ichigo wouldn’t get it.

Kurosaki Ichigo did get you though. When Kisuke was training him, you tried to stay out of the way, watching from afar. But you couldn’t help but feel inspired and intrigued by him. So you did something that surprised even yourself. You helped train him with Kisuke.

For the first time in 20 years, fighting was… fun again. It reminded you of why you were a Soul Reaper in the first place. Your Zanpakuto burned in your grasp, a fire sparked again.

You could live again. You could fight again.

Even though you and Ichigo didn’t talk too much, you didn’t have to. Training was enough. Sure, he would talk to you about his family and friends during the breaks, but you didn’t talk too much.

He did teach you about the modern world though.

You snickered at a fond memory.

“That’s an apple? How the hell are you supposed to eat that?” You cocked an eyebrow, leaning down to see the odd device in his hands.

Ichigo looked taken aback, “What… this is an iphone, an “apple” product. Have you never seen a phone before?”

You blinked, “I gotta say kid, half of that flew right over my head.” But you hummed as the word “phone” brought back a dusty memory, “The phones I remember are big, have those curly wires, and… well they aren’t that tiny.”

“When was the last time you saw a phone?”

“The 1970s.”

“Well that explains a lot.”

After that, Ichigo showed you the wonders of technology. Who knew that a tiny little brick could hold so much? It wasn’t at all the phones you remembered. Sure, they could still place calls, but there was music too.

Even now, you stood with headphones around your neck and a wire connecting to a phone in your backpocket. You were exploring the different genres. Everything was amazing.

The World of the Living changed for the better.

The music brought a sense of calm into you… but a bittersweet taste in your mouth.

Your head fell, glaring at the rocky ground as your mind ran amok.

What music did Shinji listen to now? Maybe you were listening to music constantly just to… feel connected to him.

You could barely bring yourself to listen to jazz, all it did was bring tears down your face. It brought you back to the nights where you and Shinji would sit on a random rooftop with the sound of jazz below. He always thought that some of the best jazz shows were best experienced above, on the roof, so that you could watch the stars (and not pay the money to get in, since the Vizards were broke for awhile)

He would sit close, his shoulder brushing yours. His shorter hair fell to his shoulders, but his bangs still hung above his eyes. He was always pretty, but you didn’t say that.

“We otta’ dance.” He would break the silence, smiling over his shoulder as he stood up.

“I don’t feel like breaking my neck tonight by falling off the roof, Shinji.” You said, teasing.

“Oh please,” He rolled his eyes, suddenly grabbing your hand and tugging you up against his chest. Your eyes widened as you met his gaze. His eyes softened against yours, “You know I’d catch ya.”

You closed your eyes, shutting off the memory as your heart twisted. Your knuckles turned white as you lifted your head, staring at two adjacent pillars ahead. For the past months, you were building yourself back up so that you could see Shinji again.

A month ago Yoruichi approached you, and asked if you wanted to see them. She wasn’t one to hold her tongue, and that day you flinched at her question. You wanted to see them all, the Vizards, but at that moment you couldn’t.

You were still a mess back then, healing and trying to learn how to live again. So you shook your head, not wanting to know anything, because you knew that the moment you knew their location, you would take off in a heartbeat.

But now? You breathed in the warm air and shook off any nerves. You stood strong as someone flashed nearby. Kisuke stood atop one of the pillars.

“Thanks for waiting,” He mumbled, “Got everything ready, how about you?” His eyes peered at you below his hat, “You sure you’re ready for this? To see them all again?”

You met his gaze and nodded, no hesitation. You didn’t have the time for that anymore. You were ready for what laid ahead, and you were ready to move forward.

“I am.”

He smiled, and turned his focus to the pillars. Kisuke brought his hands together and spoke the incantation needed, and seconds later the buzzing ahead of you sparked as a portal cut through the sky in Kisuke’s basement.

“Good luck.”

You nodded once more before flashing into the portal.

You were taking life by the reins now.

You would bring the change that needed to come.

The Soul Society was just as bright as always, you thought as you pulled your hood up to shield your eyes.

It was also really big too, and you were still getting lost after centuries of your life being spent there.

But your skin prickled as waves of spiritual pressure crashed through the air. Different souls were fighting all over the Gotei 13, and many were familiar.

A few almost choked you up as the familiarity was almost too much.

Even so, you flashed up onto the next roof, running atop the many walls within the maze that is the Gotei 13. Soon you were under the shadow of Sokyoku Hill. The air twisted as the battle ahead brought dozens of powerful souls into one place.

The Sokyoku.

You grinned, truly you were going in head first back into the fray.

But maybe that was for the best.

Giving your legs a quick stretch as you squatted down, you closed your eyes, focusing on where you wanted to go. Picturing the Sokyoku, you suddenly flashed up leaving a cloud of dust whirling around you. The air ripped around you as the pressure grew tighter. You shot out of the shadow and looked at the situation ahead of you.

Menos Grande clouded the skies above as they sent down three beacons of light, which surrounded Aizen, Gin, and Tosen. They were nearly at the Garganta above.

“Goodbye, Soul Reapers.” Aizen said, looking at Ichigo, who laid on the ground, “And goodbye, Ryoka Boy. For a human, you were quite amusing.” Just as the Garganta began to close, his eyes fell on you. His gaze darkened with a venomous glare, and not a second later, the Garganta closed.

You glared up at the now blue sky, feeling chills rake across your skin. Memories ran through your mind at the sight of Aizen. Memories of when… when you considered the man your friend. Memories of when he betrayed you. Memories of when he tortured you.

But you smiled. He had no power over you now. Previously you thought that seeing him again would break you, and yet, here you were.

Aizen was the least of your concerns now. You had a reason to be here, a reason to reunite with those who once abandoned you, and a reason to help your new allies.

You averted your gaze and found Ichigo. He was still laying on the ground. Only seconds had passed since Aizen left, and Ichigo looked to be a mess, so you flashed over to him and gave him a smile.

“Ichigo, long time no see.” A presence flashed next to you as you stopped walking. A captain charged her hand at you, a pointed claw aiming for your heart. You caught it in time, cocking your eyebrow.

“Soi Fon!” Yoruichi shouted, “Stop!”

With your free hand, you took your hood off, “Sad to think that I’m an intruder here now.”

You gripped her hand tightly and shoved her back, her eyes widening. You looked back towards Ichigo and shoved your hands in your pockets. “I see that you attained Bankai, Ichigo. You just keep surprising me, kid.”

He stared up at you, but smiled, “I should say the same thing to you… you did just shove a Captain.”

“Not my first time,” You shrugged, looking back to see the other Captains looking at you. You could feel the questions burning on your tongue. Some were new, but many were familiar. “Listen kid, you did a good job. I gotta deal with some things now, but I just wanted to check in.” You looked over to Orihime, who seemed to be okay, “You’re in good hands.”

You turned around and started to walk towards Head Captain Yamamoto, Captain Jushiro, and Captain Kyoraku. Your skin burned as Kyoraku stared you down as if he’d seen a ghost. It was hard to keep your cool during that moment, since Kyoraku was a dear friend and mentor to you in the past. But that had to wait. The air stilled as you stood ahead of them, their hands on the hilts of their zanpakutos’. You mirrored them, expression guarded.

The Head Captain cut to the chase, “Are you an enemy as well?”

An almost cynical smile lifted your lips as you cocked an eyebrow, “I guess I have to paint everything out to you all. It’s why I came here though.” You sighed, your smile bleeding away, “After the betrayal of Aizen, Gin, and Tosen, you all should be thinking about the reports they’ve made, the missions they’ve gone on and interactions they’ve had with Central 46. Think about whether or not their work is now legitimate. That’s including the work that all three of them did over 100 years ago when they declared that myself and my friends were traitors to the Soul Society— as we’ve just seen, it’s quite the opposite. Unlike those traitors, I’m here to help Ichigo who just saved the Soul Society, and if you accept this, then I can help you too.”

The Head Captain never broke your gaze, but you saw as his hand fell from his hilt. He nodded. “I see. There’s still much explaining that needs to be done.” His voice raised as he suddenly addressed those around, “All available Captains that aren’t injured or aiding with the injured, report to a Captain’s Meeting in 10 minutes.”

Your eyes widened, but you remained composed. The beating in your chest almost made you dizzy, but this was good. Looking back, Yoruichi gave you a nod before flash stepping away. You joined her and the others until you all stood at Squad 1.

The large doors were already open, and the Head Captain was already walking towards his chair. Yoruichi leaned against a far wall, her glare pinning down the other Captains present.

Captain Kyoraku, Ukitake, and the one named Soifon were there. It was quite empty.

But it was enough.

Yoruichi’s presence seemed to calm you as your shoulders relaxed. You walked towards the center of the line and crossed your arms. After everything, the Captain’s Meetings that used to be intimidating, were now a piece of cake.

So you whistled, “Looks like those Ryoka did a number on y’all.” You couldn't help it.

“Get on with it.” The Head Captain said.

So you did.

You explained everything. You started at the beginning and explained the night from over 100 years ago. How Aizen experimented with Hollowfication and made Kisuke take the downfall for it, even though it was Kisuke who saved you all that night.

However, you spared them the details of the past 100 years. You didn’t explain what the Head Captain didn’t need to hear. So you skipped ahead to the important information: Aizen’s army.

Weeks ago you decided to return to the Soul Society for this exact reason, to give the Soul Reapers the strongest weapon that could help them win this war: information. Knowledge is power. So you told them everything about Aizen’s Army in Los Noches. They needed to know about the Arrancars, their rankings, and the extent of their powers. However you didn’t specify the individual Espada’s and their numbers, since their rankings change often. It was guaranteed that the Espada you remembered from a year ago were quite different now. So in order to lessen future confusion, you only warned the Captains about the Espada.

“Don’t even bother sending an Officer to deal with an Espada, or even a Numeros. Anyone less than a Captain, Lieutenant, or a highly ranked Seated Officer will die.”

The meeting went on for over an hour as the Captains asked you questions about the Kingdom, Los Noches, and Aizen himself. You were able to answer most of them, you were even able to give them an accurate layout of Los Noches.

But there was one question that made you fall silent.

“How do you know all of this?” It was Soifon. She looked confused, and you understood. You were waiting for this question.

You opened your mouth, trying to figure out how to explain. How could you? Your eyes flickered over to Yoruichi. She raised her chin, her face impenetrable. But it sparked a fire in you. She remained strong, so would you.

“I’ll keep it short, but I do owe you all an explanation, since I understand that me knowing this might look suspicious.” Looking at the Head Captain you explained, “Aizen kidnapped me from the others over 20 years ago, wiped me of my memories, and kept me in his Kingdom. It’s why I know so much. I was there, among their ranks, walking in the corridors. At least it’s paying off now because I can give this information to you all. So don’t waste it. Use it. Going into this war on strength alone will get you all killed, and Aizen will succeed. Knowledge will be your greatest weapon.” The Head Captain nodded, but looking at the other Captains, you could see the questions behind their eyes, so you added quickly, “A year ago I regained my memories and escaped. I’m here now to help. Not even for a second was I ever on his side. Never.” A reaping glare painted your face as venom pooled in your mouth, “I promise I’m going to do whatever it takes to stop him.”

The meeting ended shortly thereafter, and the Captains all went their own ways. Dealing with the aftermath after the battle in the Soul Society was their current priority, so you let them be. Even Yoruichi had to leave to take care of her own matters.

You served your purpose though.

Now it was up to them, but that was for the near future. Now, walking around the many corridors of the Gotei-13, everything was a mess. Rubble littered the streets, and buildings crumbled on the ground. You grinned.

The human kids kept surprising you.

There was one place, however, that wasn’t touched, and it didn’t surprise you. Afterall, Aizen plans for everything.

With the sun sinking below the horizon, your face was painted in a golden light as you stared at the Squad 5 barracks. Your heart twisted. After walking with no place in mind for over an hour, you ended up taking the same route you always used to take back home. The same route from over 100 years ago, it was muscle memory. So it shouldn’t come as a shock that you now walked along the Squad 5 corridors. The walls, the floors, everything brought you back to the endless chasm of your memories.

You shoved your hands in your pockets, looking around at the place with a frown. Even though it wasn’t harmed from the battle, it still looked different. Aizen. It always came back to him. Knowing him, he probably planned the whole battle ahead of time, and made sure that his Squad would be spared. Afterall, he was already so busy with his plans of deception that he had no time to deal with a Ryoka. You bit your cheek, trying to remove him from your mind.

It was hard to though, because everywhere you looked you saw him. You saw the way he changed the Squad 5 barracks. How he removed the art from the walls, and changed the management. Your eyes followed the young Soul Reapers who ran with their Seated Officer. They were thin, each carrying a book of Kido on their belts.

Passing by the training grounds, your stomach dropped as you saw the lines of targets and dummies spread about the stage. It was different. You could already see why.

Back when Aizen was a Lieutenant, you remembered how he spoke to Shinji about changing the Training grounds to focus on Kido instead of sparring sessions. You disagreed. You thought that there should be a good balance between Kido skills and physical strength. When you were a 5th Seat, you trained your squad in physical spars, focusing on hand-to-hand combat and swordsmanship. Sure, Kido was also something you found important and excelled at too. But if an opponent could easily evade and slip by your Kido, then you needed to be able to protect yourself. So you focused on both. It was something you and Aizen would bicker about for hours on end. Shinji never cared for Aizen’s opinion though, so nothing happened.

At least, not until Aizen betrayed you both.

You let out a breath, trying to calm down. A repeated thump echoed in your ears as you heard your heart race. Your footsteps grew quicker as you walked down the hallway, trying to get away from the memory.

Yet you walked right into another one.

A deeply painful one.

Your eyes widened as your heart nearly stopped as you walked in front of the Captain’s Barracks.

The old one, you should say.

Shinji’s old Barracks.

Your hand clenched your chest as you stared at the large white doors, now closed off with a tiny sign on it that said “Storage”.

Of course Aizen made Shinji’s old room Storage, the ungrateful prick.

Slowly walking forward, you sucked in a breath when you realized the old railing was gone. The deck was open, facing the green yard that looked the same as before. Your eyes burned.

You came to a stop, letting out a long breath. Closing your eyes, you calmed yourself. Walking forward, you slowly let yourself sit down, legs dangling off the deck. Your head fell.

It was this spot, you thought, this exact spot that you and Shinji would sit at. He would sometimes sit atop the railing, his long hair draping down. Sometimes you would join him.

Most times you two would sit on the deck, legs poking out the railing as your heads leaned against the bars. His hair would pool on the floor, and you would laugh whenever someone got close to walking on it. He would yelp as you cried with laughter. He was a mess.

He truly was.

It was why, for the first 70 years of you being his 5th Seat, that you didn’t get along.

Not at all.

But that all changed when you were sent on a mission.

Your hands balled into fists at the thought of it. That mission…

“Thought I would find you here.” You jumped as someone sat down beside you, your head twisting to your left only to find Kyoraku Shunsui smiling at you. “Long time no see.”

You smiled, “I know, an hour is quite a while.”

“You know what I mean.” He laughed, but his smile fell as his eyes grew serious, “110 years.” He shook his head, your name falling from his lips, “I couldn’t believe it, still can’t.”

Your lips tightened into a straight line, your chest aching, “I know.” A palpable silence fell between you two. You both looked forward to the grass, the sky above now dark. Clouds blanketed the sky. Yet you felt warm with his eyes on your face.

“Nanao, my Lieutenant, won’t be happy with me, but I had to find you. I couldn’t just see you leave again without saying anything.” Your eyes widened.

“How did you know I’m leaving again?”

He smiled, “I know you. It’s why I knew to come here, you’re going back to him, right?”

Your eyes fell to your lap, “I have to find him first.”

Kyoraku raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean? I thought you would’ve stuck together.”

You looked at him, frowning, “We did. For decades we stuck together, learning how to control our hollows together, but 20 years ago was the last time I saw them.”

“When Aizen…”

“Yeah.”

“Then,” Kyoraku mumbled, “Why isn’t Kisuke with them?”

Your eyes screwed up in thought, “I don’t know. Kisuke would sometimes go off somewhere else during our travels, since we could never stay at one place for too long. But this time is different.” Since it was just the two of you, you let your guard down and explained more, “When I got back into the World of the Living a few months ago, Kisuke and Yoruichi found me. It was just them, and Tessai-”

“-Tessai! I hope he’s doing okay.”

You smiled, “He is! But the others weren’t there. Yoruichi offered to tell me where they were, so it seems like they’re still in contact, but I declined.”

“Why?”

You stayed silent for a moment, trying to find the right words, “I wasn’t ready. When I didn’t have my memories, it was like… I was a different person. Getting them back, I had to acquaint myself with… myself? Combining those two individuals, those two worlds, it took time.” You looked at the palm of your hand, stretching your fingers, “I was angry, confused, and… lost. Meeting Ichigo and his friends honestly helped a lot. Seeing someone outside of that darkness helped me see the light again. He reminded me of myself, and finally I feel like me again. And I feel ready to see the others.”

Kyoraku was silent, his gaze falling to the grass. His eyes darkened with a glare, “For years I couldn’t accept the fact that you were a part of that incident. That you and my Lieutenant, and my friends, were experimenting with hollowfication. I couldn’t.” He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, “And I can’t believe that the one responsible for all of this was Aizen this whole time. That bastard.”

You hummed with a nod, “Yeah, we couldn’t either.”

Kyoraku shook his head, “To think that he had you trapped for 20 years too… I’m glad you’re back now. Even if it’s just for a little while.”

You gave him a smile, “I’m not going away forever. I’m not even going away for a century again. I’m fighting alongside you guys in this battle, so you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

He smiled, “Good, I know we’ll need your strength. I’m sure you’re 10 times as strong as you were when I first found you… how long ago was that now?”

You let out a sigh, thinking back with a smile, “I think over 300 years ago? I can’t believe it. You know, I’m so happy that I met you all those years ago. When I was lost in Hueco Mundo, before Aizen took me, I thought a lot about what I would say to everyone. Including you.” You swallowed a lump in your throat as you said, “If I hadn’t met you, I never would’ve become a Soul Reaper. I never would’ve met all of the amazing people in my life right now. I never would’ve… I never would’ve met Shinji– and the others.” You smiled, “I learned so much from you, and I’m so happy that you were my first Captain. Thank you for sticking with me, Kyoraku.”

Looking over to him, your eyes widened when you saw his eyes glossed over. Your mouth opened as you were about to apologize, but only a gasp left your throat as he pulled you into a big hug. His arms wrapped tightly around you.

He mumbled, “Makin’ me cry, you’re something else.”

You were shocked, so you did what you usually do when you were shocked or nervous, you joked, “I’m amazing, that’s what.”

He laughed, pulling back from the hug with a smile, “You know, all of those years ago when I sent you over to Squad 5, I was nervous, but I shouldn’t have been. I’m happy you and Shinji became close, you even sound like him.”

Your face grew warm, but you couldn’t help but ask, “What were you nervous about?”

He cocked an eyebrow, looking at you as if you were dumb, “You two hated each other! For years! Decades! I thought I screwed up, but then that changed and boy I was relieved. In fact, you two got started to get along so well that… well I’m shocked that you haven’t found him already.”

“I…” You were left speechless. Your face flushed over as you stumbled over your words. “I never hated him. He was just– frustrating.”

Kyoraku must’ve decided to punish you more, because he pushed your shoulder lightly as he teased, “I mean, you two at the Soul Ball? Come on.”

“Ah!” You glared at him, “You come on!” You felt on fire as you turned away, biting your cheek. “We’re best friends.” You said, but for whatever reason, you felt pretty stupid. Your heart raced as you thought of him, and you knew deep down that what you had just said was a lie.

Shinji was so much more than that.

Your smile fell. He was so much more, and yet you haven't seen him in over 20 years. You forgot him. You couldn’t say what his life was like right now, you couldn’t say what his feelings were, and you had no right assuming things would be like they were decades ago.

Time had passed.

So you ignored the burning ache in your heart and said, “We’re best friends, and I’m going to find him and the others again.”

Kyoraku sighed, but still smiled, “I know you will. Just remember to pay me a visit, okay?”

“Okay.” You smiled back.

Once again, you were standing before two grand pillars, waiting for the door ahead of you to be opened. Your mind was running amok as usual. You were thinking about Kyoraku and the conversation you just had just a few hours ago. He had walked you over to the Senkaimon before saying goodbye. The sky was pitch black with the darkened clouds, but you knew that morning was just around the corner. The others would be waking up soon, and would realize you left early. Ichigo wouldn’t be happy, but you couldn’t wait around.

Especially after that talk.

All you could think about was how Kyoraku thought you hated Shinji in the beginning.

You didn’t.

He was frustrating.

That’s what you thought almost 200 years ago when you first joined his Squad.

When you first met him, Shinji had long hair that fell well below his shoulders. He had a constant frown that showed his large teeth, yet a face that was almost unreadable. Maybe that’s what irked you in the first place, the fact that you couldn’t predict him.

Everything that you thought he would do, he would do the opposite. With a smile he’d say something so rude that you were rendered speechless, yet in the same day, he would frown and look away, looking like he wanted to kill someone, but instead you would be left speechless again as he’d say the nicest words.

You couldn’t read him.

And that really bothered you, especially during one of your first missions with him.

Shinji, Aizen, and several others in your Squad were sent on a mission to escort an important figure to their home after a meeting in the Gotei-13. It was supposed to be a simple mission, one that you were used to, especially since you used to be a guard before a Soul Reaper.

However, you should’ve expected the opposite.

A large hollow appeared, strong enough to take out several officers. Immediately you jumped into action. Flash stepping forward, you unsheathed your Zanpakuto and aimed it towards the Hollow’s mask. Yet the air was ripped out of your lungs as an arm wrapped around your waist, tugging you back. You gasped, looking back only to see blonde hair falling around you. You were met with Shinji’s frown, his arm letting go of you.

“Arentcha’ a fast one? Nearly sliced my hair tryin’ t’catch ya.” He brought his hair back behind his shoulders, “Don’t ya worry about that. Sosuke will handle it. You just look over your Officers, my fast 5th Seat.” He grinned at you before walking back towards Aizen, jutting his thumb back towards the Hollow. That next second, Aizen killed it.

You didn’t understand.

Maybe it was your previous Squad, or maybe it was before that from when you were a guard. But you were always under the idea that those of a higher rank let their subordinates do the work. That you would handle everything before they so much as touch their sword.

When you became Lisa’s assistant in Squad 8, you always did everything. She didn’t care too much about it, but she never said otherwise.

But this?

This was different.

The thought of it all unfolding in front of you, and you just standing there– watching. Your mouth curled into a frown. You didn’t like it. You felt useless. Why didn’t he tell you beforehand? Questions ran through your head, and that night you found yourself in his barracks, ready to voice your concerns.

“Captain, I was more than capable of handling the situation, you didn’t have to send Lieutenant Aizen.”

Shinji looked up at you from his paperwork, frowning. He stood up with a sigh, looking as if he could hardly care about anything. It pissed you off.

“I haven’t seen ya’ fight yet, I don’t know that.” He was blunt. Your heart dropped to your stomach as you glared at him.

“I can promise you that I’m strong enough to defeat a hollow like that. If you don’t believe in me, then why did you accept me as your 5th Seat?” You said, your heart hammering in your chest as he looked at you, indifferent. He tilted his head slightly, a long strand of his hair falling from his shoulder and swaying against his chest.

“Because I believe in Captain Kyoraku.” He stepped closer to you, placing his hand on his desk right beside you, “And let’s say thatcha’ do fight that Hollow. Ya’ have your officers t’look after, can’t have ya all tired after a fight. Aizen just has himself to look after. It would’ve been more of a burden on ya to defeat that thing, so I let Aizen handle it. That’s all.”

Your mouth opened as you tried to find something to say. Anything. Your chest burned with anger as his eyes looked down into yours. It was unnerving. He was looking after you? What the hell.

You didn’t understand him.

“It would’ve been a burden? I would’ve been fine. You don’t have to worry about that.” You said, furrowing your eyebrows in frustration.

Shinji sighed again and leaned down closer, “I’m your Captain. I’ll decide who I worry about. Got that?”

You left that night confused and angry. It was like that for years, but it slowly bled into annoyance rather than anger. Shinji mirrored you. There were missions where you would go out of your way to help your team, and Shinji would get on your case. Your Officers even joked about how there was never a moment where the two of you weren’t at odds.

“I told ya to let Squad 10 handle it!” Shinji once snapped, throwing his report of the mission on his desk as he stood up, “Look at ya!” You glared at him, sitting in the desk across his desk, bandaged with your arm in a cast.

“I’m fine!” You tried to get up to prove your point but cringed in pain and fell back into the chair with a huff. “Just ignore that!”

Shinji glared at you, “Ya really aren’t making this easy, arentcha’?”

You scoffed, “As if you are.”

That was just one incident. There were many. Many arguments. Many weeks when the two of you wouldn’t talk. Times where Shinji would call you into his office begrudgingly only for the two of you to bicker the whole time.

“Enough.” Aizen once interrupted, “Captain, this is getting old.”

“Like him.” You snickered.

Shinji glared at you, “We’re the same age, idiot.”

“Oh please.” You scoffed, looking at Aizen, “See what I have to deal with? I’m sure you get it”

“I’m right here.”

“He can be testy.” Aizen nodded, “But we’re here to talk about the report.”

“Testy?!”

“I put it on your desk yesterday.” You said.

“Oh!” Aizen brightened up, “Thank you Officer.” Shinji was sitting at his desk across from you, still grumbling to himself about being testy, when Aizen kicked his chair. Shinji looked at Aizen before letting out a sigh.

“Thank you.”

“Oh wow!” You clapped your hands together, “Did I hear that right? Was that a thank you?”

“Don’tcha get used to it. You're dismissed.” Shinji waved you away while you laughed, nearly skipping out of the room.

Most of your fights were harmless though. There was just always… something. A tension whenever you walked into the room. For many decades, he was just your pesky Captain. That was it.

But around 70 years in, the two of you had your first full blown fight that left the both in a fit of anger. True anger. Not just annoyance.

It was all because of that mission.

The mission that you, Shinji, Captain of Squad 12 Urahara Kisuke, and Lieutenant of Squad 12 Sarugaki Hiyori, were assigned to.

But it was that fight that changed everything.

Because you nearly died right after it.

The Senkaimon was opened as you dwelled in your own thoughts, and just as soon as it opened, you shot forward and walked towards the World of the Living. Kyoraku’s words were stuck in your head. They made you think about the past, and how so much changed.

How you and Shinji became best friends.

How the two of you became Vizards together.

How you were separated before you could say anything about your new feelings.

And how you now needed to find him.

So you shot forward until you saw a bright light. You felt a warm air brush your face as you fell down, the city lights dotting your vision. They grew closer as you let yourself fall into Karakuta town. Landing on top of a building, you centered yourself and looked ahead.

Flash stepping immediately, you headed towards Kisuke’s candy shack. In your agreement to go to the Soul Society, you told him that you would come back early, so that he would know everything that happened before everyone came back.

But he probably already knew, since he was just like Aizen. Always guessing everything beforehand.

Kisuke wasn’t shocked when you told him everything that happened. The two of you sat in his room, sipping some tea as Tessai leaned against the wall listening.

Kisuke was actually pleased. Though he did look worried when you told him about Aizen and Ichigo. How Aizen got the Hogyoku and how he told Ichigo about Kisuke. You were a bit ticked off about that too, honestly, but you always gave Kisuke a chance to explain himself. Because for his crazy actions, he usually had a good reason behind them.

You were used to his antics.

He explained himself, but you didn’t want him to explain himself to you– no, he needed to explain that to Rukia. You knew that he would though.

Ichigo told him the same thing. Days had passed, and once Ichigo finally returned, he told Kisuke the same thing when Kisuke tried to apologize. You smiled. You had a few hundred years under your belt, but the kid only had 15 and yet was a wise dude.

You were happy to support him in the upcoming war, because he truly didn’t need to fight in it, yet he was roped in like the rest of you.

You felt bad. He was just a kid. He didn’t deserve to have his whole life uprooted because of Aizen and the Soul Society. He was alive. He deserved to live and be a kid. Along with his friends. They all deserved that.

But life was taking Ichigo down a different path. One that concerned you.

Just a few days after Ichigo’s arrival, and just a few days into your search for Shinji and the others, you dropped everything once you felt a new change in Ichigo’s spiritual pressure.

Ichigo’s hollow.

It struck you in the heart like poison. You felt it across town, its strength. Its anger. Chills raked down your spine as you immediately flash stepped in his direction. You felt it before, way before Ichigo even went to the Soul Society. You could feel something deep down, something sinister. It reminded you of your own hollow.

But now?

You knew this feeling. It was out of control.

So in the middle of the night in Karakuta, you ran along the streets towards Ichigo. Something akin to fear gripped your soul as the feeling brought you back to your hollowfication. The loss of control. The overwhelming thoughts. The pain.

He was just a kid.

You swallowed your fear and ran closer, feeling his energy buzzing through the air. Looking around, you felt it swell as something else clashed with him.

You were in a dark neighborhood, and Ichigo wasn’t in your sight. Not until you looked up.

You looked up and saw him.

Your heart froze. Your mouth fell open as your heart twisted, tears burning in your eyes. Trembling, you cupped your mouth as your knees buckled.

Ichigo was there, but across from him was someone you didn’t expect nor sense.

Hirako Shinji.

You were frozen in time. The moon shined against his now short blonde hair. He was smiling.

That smile.

Tears flowed down your cheeks as you begged your legs to move. You tried to summon your strength to get up. Just get up!

But you couldn’t.

The weight of everything chained you to the ground. You saw as they spoke, his sword sparkling under the moonlight. They were arguing.

Your ears rang.

He was thinner. His eyes were darker… Shinji he was– you hadn’t seen him since–

You bit your lip, body trembling as you fell into a memory you tried so hard to repress.

You were on a street like this, in a suburban town in the World of the Living. It was at the height of the day, the summer sun beaming down on your skin. Sweat pooled on your forehead as you smiled. Lisa laughed beside you as the other Vizards walked ahead.

“I think I might go for it, it couldn’t hurt to get some more money for us.” She scratched her neck, her braid swaying behind her. You nodded along.

“I think you just wanna shove your nose in magazines without us shouting at you, and get paid for it.” You snickered.

“Hey!” She pointed a finger at you, “Magazines are really becoming popular right now. Selling them will be a breeze! I won’t be reading… that much.”

“No judgment here.” You raised your hands in defense, “Those women are pretty, I get it.” You didn’t have a preference when it comes to people, though you found that at that moment you preferred blonde dudes.

Specifically the blonde up ahead who leaned his head back and smiled at you, “Lisa, dontcha’ go ropin’ them into your addiction.”

“Shinji! You!--” Lisa was cut off when a massive spiritual pressure appeared. You all froze, skin trembling as something roared in the distance. With no hesitation, most of the Vizards shot towards it. Usually you all ignored hollows because there was always a Soul Reaper nearby– but this was different. You were right behind them, until you felt another pressure.

It was smaller, but looking back, you saw that it was near the park you all walked by just a few minutes ago.

A park that had the ghost of a small girl playing in it.

You spun around and shot towards that pressure, leaving the other hollow to them. You swallowed a tiny pill, and shot out of your Gigai. Grabbing your Zanpakuto, you flashed into the park. Surrounded by trees now, you saw the girl trembling in the center as a skinnier hollow with a bug-like mask and wings towered over her. It had claws like a praying mantis, and one was coming down for the girl’s head. You dashed forward, and blocked it with your Zanpakuto right before it hit her. She screamed.

“Get back! Run! You’ll be okay!” You panted, shoving the hollow back. It roared in pain as a cut appeared on its arm. But something turned in your gut– something was wrong. Its glowing red eyes burned in hatred at you.

Opening its mouth, a red beam started to form. Your eyes opened in shock.

A cero? At this range?

Hollows couldn’t produce ceros! Only Menos could!

You braced yourself in front of the girl as the red beam shot towards you. Closing your eyes, you sucked in a breath.

Nothing came.

Your eyes opened, but you were only met with a green robe. Kisuke stood ahead of you, his Zanpakuto released and a red barrier protecting you.

“Kisuke! How– that doesn’t matter, thank you!” You smiled.

“Where are the others?”

“They went towards the other hollow!” You explained, guarding yourself as the hollow roared again. “Why is this hollow able to use a cero?”

“I don’t know.” Kisuke muttered, glaring at the hollow, “It looks like it's been strengthened. That would need outside interference though, from a Soul Reaper.”

Your stomach dropped at the connotation. You had no time to think about it though, because the hollow flew forward, buzzing with its powerful spiritual pressure. Kisuke blocked its attack as you dashed forward, but suddenly two more arms came from its back and sliced your arm. You gritted your teeth as it flew back. Kisuke rushed forward and cut one of its arms off, you tore your shirt and wrapped your arm before joining in again. You ran forward, Zanpakuto screeching as you were ready to cut off its head. But just as you were, the Hollow opened its mouth and its tongue shot out. It wrapped around Kisuke, moving Kisuke in front of it. Its eyes glimmered, almost pleased.

You heard Kisuke’s statement from before echoing in your head. Outside interference. Soul Reaper interference.

Your stomach lurched as you clenched your teeth. You shot forward and slashed the tongue from around Kisuke within a second. Kisuke’s eyes widened as you kicked him out of the way. You didn’t know what was happening, but you knew that this hollow was dangerous.

And you couldn’t lose Kisuke.

If what you thought was true, if Aizen was involved, then it would make sense that he would target Kisuke.

The Vizards couldn’t lose Kisuke. Kisuke had his research and his brilliance. You couldn’t let anything happen to him.

So you stabbed the hollow in the chest, glaring at it. Its eyes flickered in panic.

Your eyes widened when something crashed around you, dust whirling in the air. Looking up, you saw a yellow film surrounding you. Your heart froze as you saw a black hole torn in the sky above you.

It was a Negacion.

You learned about it in the academy. It was a rare method that Gillians use to retrieve their own and send them to Hueco Mundo.

It’s impossible to break.

Your mouth trembled as you slowly looked back down at the hollow, glaring at you. Your body quivered as the realization dawned– you were captured.

They wanted Kisuke, but got you.

You heard your name screamed from behind you. Clenching your teeth, you sliced the hollow in half with a frustrated yell. Whipping your head back, you saw Kisuke stare at you, his eyes widened. The ground below you started to rumble as it was pulled from the ground. It was hard to breathe. You looked around the small space, desperate for anything. It was hard to breathe. Your trembling hand came up to your aching chest as the ground started to float up.

It was hard to breathe.

“Kisuke!” You screamed in a panic. You heard him muttering something below until suddenly he yelled out a Hado. A brilliant light crashed against the Negacion. Your eyes closed as you braced yourself again, your arms covering your face.

But nothing came again.

Opening your glossed over eyes, you still saw the yellow film. You felt your throat close as you looked over and saw the ground retreating below you. Kisuke looked up, his eyes widened in a panic as well.

Tears began to pool in your eyes, until you felt a presence. Many.

The vizards suddenly flashed around Kisuke, staring up at you. You felt your heart freeze as your eyes met Shinji’s.

Your hand pressed against the yellow film as you fell to your knees. It burned against your hand, but it didn’t compare at all to the pain of seeing his face.

Dread. Panic. Fear.

Horror.

Shinji screamed your name as he shot up towards you. The Negacion sparked as Shinji tried slashing it. Nothing happened. He banged his fist on it, but he only yelled out in pain. When he finally made it up to you, tears flowed down your face. He was breathing heavily, his eyes darting around as he mumbled your name. You knew that he was trying to figure out how to get you out.

You knew Shinji. You knew that he would do anything. You learned that a long time ago. That was Shinji.

He would put himself in front of his Squad as a Captain, and it drove you insane for years since you were so used to the opposite being done. He would do anything for those he cared for.

And you would do the same thing.

“Shinji.” You said, trying to calm your breathing, “Look at me.” Shinji was in a daze, still flying up with you as he tried to figure something out. Your heart twisted in a panic, “Look at me!” You yelled.

Shinji snapped out of it, his eyes finally finding yours.

“There you are.” You gave him a quivering smile, “Listen to me, I’ll be okay. I’ll find my way back to you all, okay? Just promise me that you’ll stay here. Stay here and stay safe, okay?”

His mouth opened as his eyes glossed over. Your heart twisted painfully as you saw him break, his lip quivering.

“Shinji, I need to hear you. Please.” You choked out.

He blinked, a tear rolling down his cheek as he brought a hand up. He placed it against the Negacion, where your hand was. “I promise.” He whispered.

The Negacion sparked between your hands, and a blast sent Shinji flying back.

“Shinji!” You screamed. He fell back, to where the others were, but got back up right away to look up at you. You saw the others also looking up. Their faces were hardly recognizable now as you flew into the sky. You didn’t look up. You didn’t know how much time you had. Heart racing, you yelled out, “I promise I’ll find you all again!”

Then it all went dark.

Now you kneeled in the darkness of the night, a flickering lamp post bringing you back to your senses. You were panting, sweat dripping down your face. You felt like you were going to be sick.

You swallowed your emotions and looked up again to see Shinji alone now, talking on his phone. He looked different from 20 years ago, his hair was shorter, and he was leaner.

But he was still– he was still Shinji. He was beautiful against the moonlight, and his smile captured your soul again.

You could only stare, frozen against time, as Shinji started to move away from you once again. Just like before, you couldn’t do anything but watch his retreating figure.

You wanted to move, to run after him, to do anything!

“Pathetic.” You heard a familiar voice murmur in your ear. Your hollow glared down at you, “Chaining yourself again?”

You bit your lip, glaring back up at them, “Fuck off.”

Yet another voice entered your mind, a deeper one from years ago. Your Zanpakuto. They repeated something they once said to you, “Can you become strong enough to break the chains binding you?”

This question rang in your mind as you glared at your hollow. You bit your cheek, the taste of iron pooling in your mouth, as you stood up. Your hollow’s smile fell as it faded away.

“Fine then.” It muttered before retreating back into your mind. You were left alone again, on the street with nobody in sight.

Shinji was gone.

But you smiled.

With the moon shining against your face you walked forward. Shinji was alive. You saw him, and that was enough to light that fire in you again.

Because you knew that come tomorrow, you would face him with nothing holding you back.

You have a promise to keep afterall.

Author's note: I know I know! lots of angst! and i've possibly added in some enemies to friends to lovers>:) also sorry if the later part of the chapter is a bit off or something, i'm pretty tired so I'll look at it in the morning to see if I missed any mistakes:) thanks for reading! <333

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