#which is mostly fine i can just watch the eps when i come home | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bensolosbluesaber · 3 years

Text

Returning a Favor (Zemo x Reader fic)

TFATWS Ep. 4 Spoilers!!

Summary: When your old friend, Sam Wilson, needs your help in Riga you drop everything and go. You knew they broke Baron Helmut Zemo out of jail, but you didn't expect to bond with the villain. (AKA: I thought getting hit in the face by the Shield would at least leave a bruise. Here's how that would go down with a fourth person.)

CW: Blood, wounds, some creepy behavior (not from Zemo), a few Y/N inserts

No smut yet, just cute cuddles and taking care of each other. Maybe smut in the future though! Let me know if you want a Part 2 or added to a tag list for potential future fics! I think the reader can be any gender; I tried to write it that way and be inclusive, but please tell me if I messed up!

If you know me in real life, no you don't:) I write most of my fics on @aurora521 and write on AO3 and fanfiction.net under the same name. Please don't come for me about finding Zemo attractive.

Hope you enjoy!

---

Returning a Favor

Meet me in Riga. -S

That was the text you received from Sam Wilson, your old military friend, yesterday. And now here you are, outside the Riga airport walking toward Sam in traditional undercover superhero attire- a baseball hat and sunglasses.

“Thanks for coming,” he greeted. “We have a little problem.”

“Is his name Baron Helmut Zemo by chance?” You asked, following him to a jet black sports car.

You were very aware of just what type of trouble Sam was getting himself into since you, a SWORD agent, still had access to all kinds of classified information.

“See for yourself,” Sam muttered, gesturing to the back door of the car and climbing in the driver's seat himself.

You hesitated for a moment, then opened the door and slid into the back. And yes, Zemo was there, lounging back with legs spread. He’s wearing a long coat with fur lining, a deep purple shirt, black pants, and shiny leather shoes. He nods to you and smirks ever so slightly. Bucky Barnes, who you had only heard about but recognized immediately, turns from his spot in the front seat and smiles at you.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Y/N,” he says.

“And I you,” you respond.

Sam pulls out of the parking lot with a screech of tires. The ride is mostly silent, Sam and Bucky bickering occasionally. That made you smile, knowing that as much as Bucky annoyed Sam, this was the type of relationship he craved. Zemo watched you the entire drive, sizing you up.

The home they’re staying at is obviously the Baron's. He’s comfortable there, leaning against the counters, rifling through cabinets, lounging on the couch.

“So what am I doing here?” You finally asked.

The three men interact easily, and either Sam or Bucky is always watching Zemo. There’s no real need for a fourth person to get involved, at least not in your mind.

“Someone needs to babysit the Baron,” Sam explained with an annoyed sigh.

Zemo shrugged with a smirk so innocent it’s sinister. He’s still wearing that ridiculous coat.

“The two Avengers can’t handle him?”

“I believe your friends find it challenging to be around me,” Zemo answered for Sam.

“You shot a man in the head yesterday!” Sam snapped. “You antagonize Bucky at every turn. Forgive us for needing a break from whatever is happening in your fucked up head.”

Zemo tilts his head as if agreeing with everything Sam had just said.

“Anyway,” Bucky interrupted. “We have a lead on Karli. You can sleep off some jet lag while we’re gone, but starting tonight it’s your turn to keep track of him.”

You settled into a small bedroom. The moment your head hit the pillow, you fell asleep. At home it’s nearly ten at night; here it’s midday.

The trio is back all too soon, heralded by a slam of a door, and you force yourself to wake up to adjust to the time change as rapidly and effectively as possible. As you open the door to the living room, Bucky is stalking toward Zemo. He grabs the teacup from Zemo’s hand and hurls it against the wall.

“You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?” Bucky growled, staring at Zemo with an unnerving glint in his eyes.

“Take it easy. Don’t engage him,” Sam jumped up and grabbed Bucky’s arm. “He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.”

Bucky’s face softened slightly. Zemo stops tilting his head.

“Let me make a call,” Sam says and walks away.

“You want some cherry blossom tea?” Zemo offers Bucky with a mocking tone.

“No. You go ahead,” Bucky hissed, and after a moment of staring, he followed Sam out of the room.

You had watched Zemo for that entire exchange, noticed the slightest flinch and hint of fear when Bucky had grabbed that cup. The moment the other two men are gone and Zemo thinks he’s alone, he pours himself another cup. His hand is steady, but he draws a sharp, unsteady breath.

You move out of the room, and Zemo looks up at you from his spot on the couch. Without a word, you walk into the kitchen, taking a roll of paper towels and carefully picking up the shattered glass.

“I can do that,” Zemo says, speaking directly to you for the first time.

His voice is calm, accent thick.

“It’s alright,” you answer, then gasp sharply as a piece slices your pointer finger from tip to palm. “Fuck.”

You set the bloody piece with the pile of glass and hold a paper towel to your hand. You used the other hand to wipe tea off the wall and floor before picking up the glass piled on a paper towel and placing it in the trash, carefully tucked in other garbage.

“Let me.”

Zemo’s voice behind you makes you jump. You eye him for a moment wondering if there is some ulterior motive, some way he could hurt you or hold you hostage. Nothing comes to mind, not with Sam and Bucky so close, so you hold out your bleeding hand. He clicks his tongue at the wound.

When he takes your hand in his, his fingers are soft and warm. He moves your wound under a faucet and lets water run, rinsing the blood down the sink. He squeezes the wound a bit, and you wince as it begins to bleed more.

“We bleed to clean our wounds. It is the body’s way of protecting itself,” he says and presses a towel to your finger as he shuts off the water. “Ironic isn’t it. The very thing meant to protect us from future danger, often kills us first.”

“I’m not here to debate the ethics of superheroes with you.”

“Hold that,” he lets go of your hand and opens another cabinet. “I know how I feel about enhanced humans. There is nothing for me to debate.”

Zemo takes your hand back in his. You watch his face as he works. He uses his mouth to remove the wrapping from a butterfly bandage. The bleeding has slowed, and he uses the bandage to pull your torn skin back together. The cut isn’t terrible, certainly not the worst injury you’ve ever had, but it will scar. He adds two more strips, then places an absorbent pad over it and wraps it all in gauze.

“When we get back, I’ll change that for you.”

“I’ll hope you don’t get killed then,” you offer with a grateful smile.

He doesn’t respond but gestures to you to join on the couch. You do, keeping what you feel is a safe distance between the two of you. Zemo hands you a cup of warm tea, but as you grab it, he doesn’t let go. Your undamaged fingers brush his for a long moment and he chuckles.

“Promise not to take after your friend James? I quite like this tea set.”

Your eyebrows knit together as he smiles at his own joke and finally surrenders the cup to you. That’s the last words you two exchange, and when Bucky and Sam return ready for the next part of the mission, they find the two of you sitting in silence sharing a pot of tea.

___

When the three men returned, Sam and Bucky held an unconscious Zemo between them. You jumped off the couch, the book you had been reading discarded, and let them lay Zemo down.

“What happened?”

“John Walker,” the two men answered in the same disgusted tone.

You leaned over Zemo, finally seeing the blood and bruise on his right temple.

“This one disappeared for a few minutes, shot Karli-”

“Didn’t kill her,” Sam interrupted, sounding relieved.

Much like Sam, you sympathized with Karli’s motives if not her methods. And much like Sam, you were glad she hadn’t died.

“Then Walker knocked him out with the shield,” Bucky finished.

There was no jab at Sam this time for which you were grateful.

“Which is the only useful thing he did,” Sam added. “Zemo destroyed the rest of the serum, so right now he’s above Walker in my book.”

You looked down at Zemo, blood had dripped down his face and neck, though most of it was dried now. His eyelids twitched as he slept.

“Are you two okay?” You asked as you walked toward the bathroom.

“Fine. We ditched Walker, but we’ll need to get out of here as soon as we figure out what to do with Karli,” Sam answered, collapsing on the couch with a heavy sigh.

You dampened a washcloth in the bathroom and on your way back to the living room, grabbed the first aid kit Zemo had used on you earlier.

“What are you doing? He’ll be fine,” Bucky muttered.

He was sitting next to Sam now.

“Returning a favor,” you answered as you knelt at Zemo’s side.

You dabbed at the drying blood with the cloth, wiping it off his cheek, out of his hair. Somehow the coat came out unscathed. Sam and Bucky were talking about something behind you, but you were entirely focused on the unconscious man.

Zemo had a handsome, aristocratic face, and he walked like royalty, like he was untouchable. This was evidence he wasn’t.

You moved to the actual wound next. The cloth was soft, unreasonably so. A large hand wrapped around your wrist, squeezing tightly. You inhale sharply and shift your gaze to Zemo’s hand then his eyes. When your eyes met his, he seemed to relax, releasing you and letting his hand fall at his side.

“Apologies,” he grunted, mouth twitching with pain.

“It’s alright,” you answer calmly, very aware that the other men had stopped talking and were fixated on a potential threat. “Turn your head please.”

You put a hand on his cheek and turned him to face you to get a better look at the wound that was still seeping slowly.

“The new Captain America might force me to reconsider my stance on superheroes. I would enjoy seeing Sam and James have a go at him,” Zemo said as you prod the wound.

You wiped the cut with antiseptic, and Zemo hissed a bit at that but said nothing. Then, just like he had done to you, you placed three butterfly bandages on the cut. It wasn’t deep, just long and jagged.

“You’re my new favorite,” he joked with a little grin.

You laughed and walked to the kitchen for some ice. There were no packs, so you grabbed a bag of frozen peas, wrapped them in a towel and set it gently on Zemo’s temple.

“I can’t have you dying when I need this changed tonight,” you said, holding up a finger.

When you turned around, Sam and Bucky had both stretched out on the couch. They both wore annoyed expressions that Zemo got a whole couch and they got one to share. Bucky bumped Sam’s foot with his own, much to your amusement and Sam’s annoyance. He kicked his partner back, and you decided not to interrupt their little couples spat. Instead, you move to sit on the ground.

Zemo grabbed your wrist again, this time gently. He tucked his legs up, folding them into a V, and motioned you to share his couch. And you did, sitting in the same spot you had earlier, this time near his feet still clad in shiny black leather shoes.

“Hey, you two,” Sam called. “What’s this cozy little couch situation going on here?”

“You two could have a cozy little couch situation too if you’d just talk to each other,” Zemo shot back.

He didn’t even look at Sam, just held the frozen vegetables to his face, eyes closed.

“Y/N?” Zemo asked after a moment. “Can you get me an Advil? Or better yet, some sort of alcoholic beverage?”

“I’m not your servant, Zemo,” you sighed but stood and poured him a glass of some expensive alcohol from a bottle with Sokovian writing.

He sipped it, setting it on his chest between sips as he lounged on the couch with you. Bucky was watching you out the corner of his eye, and you were watching Zemo. Every few sips he would grimace, his lips pressing together and chest catching. Then he’d relax, exhale softly and shift the peas back into place. Eventually you picked up your book and began to read again.

Sam left the room to take a phone call a few hours later and came back shaking.

“Karli threatened Sarah, my nephews. I have to meet with her. Alone.”

“I’m coming with you,” Bucky jumped in, already on his feet. “Walker will be there, and you can’t handle the Super Soldiers and Captain Propaganda on your own.”

Zemo was either asleep or doing a good job pretending beside you. The pea bag had been returned to the freezer. He’d discarded his coat and was now wearing only his black pants and a deep purple shirt with shoulder holsters.

“You got him?” Sam pointed to the sleeping man.

“That’s what I’m here for,” you answered, setting the book aside and watching them prepare to leave.

Both men donned their costumes, Sam strapping his wings on, Bucky ripping the sleeve off of yet another jacket so his metal arm could move freely.

“Call me- us if you need backup,” you shouted after them, knowing full well they would do no such thing.

“If we aren’t back in two hours, take his ass back to jail,” Bucky called back.

Baron Zemo woke up the minute the door slammed shut, which made you doubt he’d been sleeping at all.

“And now it is only us,” he said in that thick Sokovian accent. “I will cook us something for dinner.”

He moved into the kitchen, boiling a pot of water while you watched. You perched yourself on the counter near him as he searched through cabinets. When he noticed you, he paused and chuckled before returning to the cooking. You watched in silence, keeping a close eye on him when he picked up a knife and began chopping tomatoes from a can.

He handed you a bowl of thin noodles with a thick red sauce. It smelled delicious.

“A traditional and simple Sokovian dish, a comfort food you might say,” he explained and joined you on the counter. “I made enough for Sam and James. Call me an optimist.”

Zemo didn’t talk much, you realized, as you enjoyed the food in silence. It was delicious, a bit like pasta. Suddenly, the back door clicked open. You glance around nervously, realizing just how wrong this felt.

“They shouldn’t be back yet,” you say quietly. “And they wouldn’t come in the back.”

“My old associates must have found me,” Zemo jumps off the table, and you notice the same nervousness as when Bucky threw the cup. He cannot know about James or Sam.”

You can hear a single person strolling toward the kitchen in heavy boots.

“I’m going to kiss you,” Zemo whispered, and before you could even process the words, he was standing between your legs and pressing his lips to yours.

His movements are slow and careful, trying not to be invasive as he moves his hands to your back, sliding one up to the back of your head. You wrap an arm around his waist and slide the other hand up the front of his purple shirt, splaying your fingers across his chest. His lips are soft and warm as they move against yours. His hand keeps you from pulling away, not that you’d want to.

“I heard you were back in Riga,” a new voice chuckled. “I had to see for myself.”

Zemo pulls back, feigning surprise, but kept an arm protectively around you.

“And as you have undoubtedly noticed, I am quite busy,” he replied. “Perhaps you could come back tomorrow? I’d prefer not to discuss our business in front of…”

Zemo nods to you. You were staring at the man who you recognized from work files. He was a former Shield agent. When Shield fell, he used the chaos for his own advantage, working for neither Shield nor Hydra and killing anyone who stood in his way. You suspected, but couldn’t be sure, that some of your best friends had been killed by him. Fortunately, you had enough self-control not to shoot him. His mere presence made you tense and uncomfortable.

“Of course, Baron,” he grinned and look at you in a way that made you shift closer to Zemo. “I’ll see you tomorrow, noon. The usual place.”

He gave the two of you one last look and left with a wink to Zemo. Even when the other man had gone, Zemo’s hands were still holding you against him.

“We will have to be gone before noon tomorrow,” he said looking down at you.

For some reason, you were both still wrapped around each other.

“You know who he is?” Zemo said, a statement masquerading as a question. “I am sorry.”

Your face was only inches from him, and you could smell his cologne. Zemo used the hand on your head to pull you against his shoulder. You set your head there, face turned into his neck, and inhaled deeply. And there he sat and you stood, hugging tightly for no real reason except that no one else was there.

Zemo pressed a soft kiss to your head, and rather than protest you let his lips linger. Finally, his head fell on your shoulder. After a moment, he slid you off the counter, took your hand, and led you back to the couch. Without asking, the two of you settled together on the couch, so close your sides pressed against each other. He pulled a gun out of his shoulder holster, and you froze until he set it down on the table, smirking a little.

“I don’t make a habit of shooting people I’ve just kissed,” he chuckled and raised an arm for you to lean against him.

You raised an eyebrow at him, surprised at the forwardness. You shouldn’t be, after all, he had just kissed you and held you on the counter of his kitchen. Helmut Zemo made no sense to you, but in the end, you curled against him. He shifted to lay on his back, head propped on the pillows he was laying on earlier while you tucked yourself beside him, head on his chest.

Zemo wrapped an arm around you. You put a hand on his chest, fingering the purple shirt. He was warm and soft, and you had to remind yourself that you could not fall asleep while you are supposed to be watching him.

“Why are we doing this?” You whisper. “Why are you doing this?”

“Why are you?” Zemo turns his head toward you.

“I haven’t had someone to do this with in a long time,” you answer slowly, cautiously, knowing full well this was a man who could turn on you on an instant or hold onto information until the moment it was advantageous to him.

“Neither have I,” He replied. “German prisons don’t allow much physical contact. Besides, I hope that with enough time perhaps I may kiss you again.”

You tilted your head up to see a grin tugging at the side of his lips, lips that had been on yours a few minutes ago.

“Maybe with enough time,” you answer and brush a lose strand of hair out of his eyes, letting your hand trail over the bruise on his face.

He caged your hand in his, bringing your joined hands back to his chest and holding them there. You felt the rise and fall of his breaths and it soothed you. When they grew deep and steady and the tension seemed to fall from his body, you realized he was truly asleep, not faking like earlier. Soon and against your better judgment, you were dozing off in his arms tossing a leg over his so your limbs tangled together.

Your last thought before you fell asleep was how warm and comfortable you felt with Helmut Zemo, and how completely ludicrous such a thought was.

It wasn’t long before the door opening woke you, still secure in Zemo’s arms. You tried to move, sit up so Sam and Bucky wouldn’t see this little arrangement. You failed. Bucky came in first, stopping in his tracks as he saw the scene on the couch.

“What are you doing? Keep walk- what?” Sam ran right into Bucky’s back then froze.

Their eyes were wide as they stared. Zemo shifted awake beneath you, and you could imagine the smirk on his face. Bucky’s metal fist clenched, and Sam, ever the peacemaker grabbed his arm and opted for a more amicable approach.

“One of you better start talking.”

#tfatws spoilers #tfatws #baron helmut zemo #helmut zemo #zemo fic #zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #spoilers #soft zemo #self insert fic #zemo x you #baron zemo x you #helmut zemo x you #zemo x reader fic #daniel brühl

1K notes · View notes

argylemikewheeler · 3 years

Text

July 1st, 1985

what the first ep of (my) s3 would look like if the main concept was: both Steve and Will are gay in 1985’s Summer of Love and the town’s enemy is a little more human; loving friendships, very confused adults, and Will Byers Actually Getting Help

“Harrington!”

“Yes, sir.” Steve looked up from his desk. He dropped his crossword and looked to be at attention; the police station’s phone wasn’t ringing, though, so there wasn’t really anything he should have been doing. Hopper stepped out of his office, angling himself toward the door rather than Steve’s desk island.

“Do you think you’ll be able to-- Harrington, what are you doing?” Hopper caught sight of the pocket thesaurus sitting on his desk (the last name written on the inside cover not belonging to Steve, of course). Hopper fixed his sunglasses on the edge of his nose, looking over them and down at Steve.

“I’m just, uh, working on my vocabulary.” Steve said. Hopper blinked twice, waiting. Steve wasn’t going to say the truth: he was dating-- well seeing someone-- way smarter than him. This wasn’t for joy or boredom. He was studying to impress. “It’s college prep, sir.”

“The crossword?” The chief evened his stare. “This your old man’s suggestion?” Of all the things Steve’s father was telling him to do with himself, he wished some of it was simply pecking at a crossword over a twelve hour shift. Fucking off and being a better piece of shit son just wasn’t feasible to accomplish in one summer.

“He swears by it.”

“Okay, well. Uh, moving on from that,” Hopper grabbed his hat from the coat rack. The topic of Steve’s father always made Hopper stiffen up; it was definitely the main reason Hopper gave Steve his job at the station, but it still created more questions. Steve knew Hopper and his father went to high school together, but he never asked his father about those years-- beyond his baseball glory stories. “I’ve got plans tonight and I need to head out early. Can you handle things on your own for a while. At least until the night shift comes in?”

“I’ll be fine.” Steve made sure not to acknowledge the crossword on his desk as he nodded. He was really good at his job, he was. He was also just, unfortunately, still a pretty shitty boyfriend and needed all the vocab help he could get. “What’s the pressing story?”

“I have dinner.” Hopper was already trying to walk out the door. “So don’t call me. For the love of God.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Chief. I--” Steve was sure it was the cool July wind that slammed the door on the last half of his sentence. Not Hopper. “won’t... Have a good time, I guess.”

The police station was empty: it was another boring and wonderfully quiet Monday in Hawkins. There’d been some calls to break up disturbances at city hall in the past few days, but somehow everyone just seemed to agree that Mondays-- the longest shift of Steve's whole week-- was the day everyone went about their quietest day.

There were a few officers milling in and out of the back lounge and front door, casting a quick glance to Steve as he muttered and threatened fourteen down and six across. Nancy had been helping close the gaps of his post-high school education-- without knowing just what for-- but had been picking up most hours at the Post to try and elbow her way into their good graces; it put his tutoring on hold. So here he was, groaning at some clues about classical artists he’d never heard of.

There were other reasons Steve was sure the other officers thought he was odd-- things he was sure his father had passed along in spitting rants-- but Steve didn’t mind. No one said anything to his face.

“Hey Flo! Is, uh, is Steve here?” The question was asked with the answer already in mind.

Steve sat up in his chair, twisting around to see down the hall to the back entrance to the station. There weren’t many parking spots to fill, but he knew a certain someone who preferred it to street parking.

“Jonathan?”

“Oh, I hear him. Thanks-- hey!” Jonathan hurried out from the hall, his camera bumping against his stomach and bag slapping against his leg in the same rhythm. He’d gotten a new haircut recently: semi-wonky bangs and a closer cut in the back. All thanks to Steve’s peer pressure and Mrs. Byers’s kitchen shears.

“What are you doing here?”

“Sorry to stop by your work like this--” he lowered his voice as he stopped at the corner of Steve’s desk. “I know we said we wouldn’t do that, but we got an extra muffin in the lunch order and I know you’re always starving after a Monday shift so.” Jonathan produced a folded brown paper bag from his satchel. “Here.”

“Oh, thanks.” Steve wanted to say so much more, but had to settle. No more. None of what they’d decided they wouldn’t say. Not until the summer had ended. They wanted to see if they lasted longer than the convenience of loose summer schedules.

“Won’t I see you, uh, later, though?” At eight, when Steve got sent home he always drove straight to Jonathan’s. Jonathan started late on Tuesdays and Steve had off; they had the time to waste. “Or is this your way of telling me to stay home?”

“No! No we’re still... hanging out.” Jonathan had gotten really good at cooking and treated Steve to weekly dinner. It was a nice gesture at first, but Steve started growing fond of the company. They both did around mid-June. “But, I think Mike’s going to be over so. Be cool , alright? Keep it cool.”

“Cool, got it.” Steve leaned back in his chair. He moved his papers to leave a corner of his desk for Jonathan to sit on. No one was in the main office; it was a harmless invitation.

“I have to get going...” It sounded like an excuse, a dive for safety. “And I’m sure you have, um, puzzles to do?” Jonathan pretended not to be endeared. He tried, he really did. He failed , but Steve pretended he didn’t notice.

“Don’t want to sit and help me figure out the title of Mozart’s last opera?” He patted the desk, daring to be more direct.

“I really have to go.” Jonathan was genuine, looking at his watch. “The Post only let me out early today because I have to go pick up Will from his doctor’s appointment.”

“Wait.” Steve put the cap back on his pen. “Isn’t Will’s therapy on Wednesday?”

“Yeah, but with Mom’s schedule and the store being all weird-- we had to move it to today. And you know we typically have a family night after-- so he feels okay, you know-- but we can’t . So, that’s why Mike’s coming over. Hopefully they’ll be idiots and tire Will out and he’ll sleep okay.” Tension rose in Jonathan’s voice quickly, explaining his day as if going over a laundry list; never rehearsing it but having it memorized.

“I can stay home if you need time, Jonathan.”

“No, really. I want you to come over.” Jonathan sighed and placed his hand on the emptied spot on Steve’s desk. “Besides, you can’t break tradition after a little over one month , then it was just a weird habit.”

Steve Harrington did not consider his summer fling a w eird habit . If anything, it was the most sensical thing he’d done in a very long time. Even after getting rejected from all his colleges, and never hearing the end of his father’s lectures, 1985 had been very kind to him. And that was mostly due to Jonathan’s inherent nature to be the same.

“I’ll see you after eight.” Steve smiled and reached for his hand-- but averted to grab a piece of memo paper by the phone.

“I’m sorry to leave in a rush.” Jonathan hitched his bag up, checking his watch again. “I just, I really need to get going.”

“Don’t worry. The muffin is more than enough.” Steve said. “And seeing you wasn’t too bad either.”

“Slow day, huh?” Jonathan said. The corner of his mouth quirked with a flattered, embarrassed smile. Steve tried to act nonchalant, like he wasn’t so goddamn relieved to see a familiar and happy face. Especially his familiar and happy face. “Well, good thing I have another surprise for you.”

“You can barely fit your camera in that bag, what could you possibly-- hey!” Steve missed grabbing Jonathan’s arm as he walked away, heading for the front door. “Where are you going?” Jonathan kept walking, checking his watch the whole way. “Hello?”

“Delivered right on time.” Jonathan pushed the front door open to the station-- but was nearly knocked over as a green dash barreled through it.

"Steve! Steve! Steve!” The dash was suddenly grabbing him by the shoulders. “You got the job!”

“Henderson! Oh my god! You’re back!” In an unlikely impulse, Steve grabbed Dustin in a hug, taking advantage of the change of height. “Holy shit, I nearly forgot! First of the month!”

“See you, Steve.” Jonathan walked across the room to the back entrance again. His hand braced the back of Steve’s chair, brushing across his shoulders.

“O-Okay! Yeah, see you!” Steve sputtered, losing his reminded cool in an instant. “Bye.”

Dustin pulled away slowly. “What was that?” It looked like everyone was too smart for Steve.

“Nothing. He brought me a surprise lunch-- which was an obvious decoy to the main event! You! How are you, buddy? How was camp?”

“Oh, it was fantastic. Steve, I have to show you all my inventions! Camp was the best four weeks of my life .” Dustin hopped up onto the corner of his desk. His heels tapped against the empty metal drawers. He was jittery, nearly uncontainable, but still so composed-- if only to be focused all on Steve.

Steve held his hands out, letting him start. “Lay it on me, Henderson! I want to hear everything. I missed you like crazy.”

“Well, first, obviously. I have to tell you about my girlfriend--”

“Whoa! Whoa! Girlfriend ? That fast?” Steve hadn’t been expecting any of his dating advice to work. It had been coming from such a poor and confused part of himself, Steve figured it was destined to fail. Apparently, it was just Steve that was-- when flirting with women at least. “Damn, there’s something in you after all!”

“She’s super smart, Steve. I’ve never met any girl like her. She’s a genius and she’s so pretty. God, I miss her already-- and I just saw her.”

Steve looked over his shoulder. He knew the feeling. “That’s great, man. I mean, I’m super happy for you. Like, that’s crazy . That’s freaking awesome.”

“So what about you? How are the ladies? I mean, you work for the Chief now. All the ladies you could need and more, am I right?”

Steve used to be really good at this part of the lie, but with Dustin it felt cheap. He didn’t need to lie to him, but that was the deal; no matter how much that person was Steve’s best and most beloved friend, their secret was a dead-bolt, vaulted secret.

“Eh, not too great. Only girl my own age I see-- besides Nancy, really-- is the night-shift girl, Robin. But she’s not really-- we’re just friends. She’s alright. Leaves me weird drawings in the memo pad.”

“Ooo, she sounds cool.” Dustin raised his eyebrows. “Do you know her from school?”

“Yeah, we didn’t really run in the same crowds but-- it’s not like that, man. It’s really not.” Steve started unwrapping his lunch. “It’s so not like that with Robin.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m not... looking at the moment.”

Steve had originally decided to not go looking for trouble. After he and Nancy split in the beginning of his senior year, he didn’t start looking for an immediate replacement. The illusion of thinking he was in love with Nancy-- capable of being in love with Nancy-- was a hard thing to have come crumbling down. Steve needed time to get his own bearings, to put his feet firmly on the ground, and have them lifted off when his father grabbed him by the lapels and--

Steve hadn’t gone looking for trouble. Hadn’t gone looking for love either. But somehow, both seemed to find him.

Jonathan was late. He usually wasn’t but Will was trying not to be worried. It was a different day than usual and he knew how awful Jonathan’s boss and co-workers were. Will tried not to be worried-- he wasn't. It was just that he had spent an hour talking about the night his father left their family; standing outside the doctor’s office was a bit nerve-wracking. It felt too familiar, even with all the talking and note-scribbling.

Finally, Jonathan’s car pulled into the lot. He was speeding, as much as his car could speed: he knew he was late, which made Will feel a little bit better. No one had forgotten him. It was just traffic or his bosses or maybe just hitting all the red lights. As Jonathan stopped in front of the curb and waved Will in, Will could see he was jittery-- he was upset that he was late. Will felt bad for counting the minutes.

Not that he did it out of impatience or anything. Will just formed the habit after getting his new watch. It matched Mike’s. Completely on accident, of course.

“Hey, buddy! Sorry I’m late. I was-- I had to run an errand really fast. How long were you waiting.” He moved his bag and threw it onto the backseat. Will would’ve held it on his lap.

“I wasn’t keeping track.” Will said, climbing into the passenger seat. Will wanted to ask if his bag had Jonathan’s camera in it. If everything was okay. He didn’t. It seemed like Jonathan had been in his therapy with Will, just as shaken up. “It’s okay. Thanks for getting me.”

Jonathan waited until Will put on his seat belt. “Of course. We’re always here to pick you up. Therapy is important; you have to go.”

Will laughed before he could stop himself. “You sound like Mom.” Why?

“Because she’s right.” Therapy was still kind of weird to Will-- since no one else in his grade had to do it-- but he humored his family. It was helping, if he had to admit it. But it was still embarrassing sometimes.

His therapist, Dr. Bright-- Rose Marie, as she insisted on being called-- was a send-out from the Lab, but disguised within a private practice just outside of town. She was able to listen to Will talk about what he saw and felt during his time with the Mind Flayer without trying to commit him. Almost nothing was off limits. Almost nothing.

Will checked his watch again.

“Are you excited to see Mike tonight?” The question was pointed, but Will wasn’t sure why it made him nervous. “I mean, I feel like I haven’t seen him in a bit.”

“Oh, yeah. He’s always with El.”

Will was sure they weren’t dating. El was just on a year-long stint of self-discovery and, besides Max, Mike was the person she trusted the most to help make as many helpful mistakes as possible. He bought her books to read and new music to try. It was really sweet, seeing Mike take such big strides toward helping their friend. But there was also a part of Will that felt dejected: his sort of help had to be prescribed and couldn’t be replaced with a warm laugh from one Mike Wheeler.

Will was sick while his friends were growing.

“Is there something wrong?” Jonathan used to ask the question like Will was one trembling lip away from crying-- but this time, he asked it like Will had his hand on the door, seconds from jumping out. “Will, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Will nodded. “I’m fine. Just-- I talked a lot today and I’m tired.”

“Do you want to cancel with Mike--”

“No.” Will had been looking forward to having time with Mike-- just Mike-- for a whole week. He wanted to sit on his floor with his best friend and be a kid again. Just for the night-- maybe draw some of Mike’s old campaigns or sketch out an idea for his own. He just wanted to remember something good about the past four years. After his hour with Dr. Bright, it all felt painful. Like his childhood naivety had been broken and every conversation he overheard in his house dripped with venom and disdain.

Will didn’t like picturing his house that way. It was a place that loved and raised him, a place he felt safe. He didn’t like thinking the conversations he heard being screamed through the walls were trapped in the drywall.

His arms felt heavy and his chest felt like it was made of metal-- he kept tasting it in his mouth. Will leaned back against the seat and reached for the radio. Jonathan turned it down before Will had even changed the station.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I just want to see Mike.” Will said, his mouth too honest and his mind shrouded in guilt. “I just want to see my friend.”

“Okay. Okay.” Jonathan nodded somewhat somberly. “I understand. Let’s go pick him up. He’s at his house right? Not El’s-- o-or The Sinclair’s or anything?”

“No. He’s at his.” Will crossed his arms and tried to find the loose string-- the thing that could uncoil Jonathan’s still-tightening anxiety. “Are you still dating Nancy?”

Jonathan turned to look at Will, nearly crashing the car. That was the wrong string. “What?”

“Nancy? Are you still dating her?”

“I was never dating Nancy.” Jonathan laughed, shaking his head. “I’m not dating Mike’s sister, don’t worry.” The clarification was strange and felt off-topic. Like Jonathan was trying to talk about something else.

“I thought you were. You guys hung out a lot during school.” Will heard her voice through the walls too. Always gentle, never yelling. Except when she was losing at playing cards. Then she shouted.

“She was helping me pass chemistry. That’s all.” Jonathan turned the radio up a little. Will checked his watch. “And then she helped me apply to the Post internship-- she’s great at writing papers, did you know that? A real wordsmith. Is Mike a writer too?”

He was, he really was. Grammatically, Will ran out of red pens trying to help, but creatively? Will envied Mike’s ability. “I don’t know. We don’t really talk about that kind of stuff like you two do… Since you two are dating.”

“We’re not .” Jonathan laughed. Will took advantage of an upcoming stop sign to lean forward and look at his brother’s crimson face. “We’re not, Will, okay? We’re really not. I’d tell you.”

“You’d tell me?”

“Of course! I’d tell you if I… I had a girlfriend. Which I don’t!” He stayed at the stop sign for a bit too long. “Do you?”

There was an option to play dumb, to make Jonathan ask more directly: do you have a girlfriend, Will ? but it sounded far more painful than being honest, than being as lonely as he was.

“No. I don’t.”

“And you’d tell me. If you were dating someone?” Jonathan looked at Will, hopeful but scarcely so. “You’ll tell me if anything big happens in your life?”

“Yeah.” There wouldn’t be anything happening at all that summer, that was for damn sure . “Absolutely.”

Steve had about seventy percent of his puzzle done-- fifty of which was because Dustin was an unstoppable genius with no tolerance for Steve’s careful pace. It was just about quarter past seven, and Steve’s back was getting sore from sitting in his chair all day. He only liked sitting when it was in his car, on his way to the Byers's House, careful, of course, to obey all traffic laws.

Steve was packing his crosswords and pens up in the top drawer of his desk when something clattered the back door open. Steve grabbed a pen and whipped around in his seat, as if to wield it like a weapon.

“Hello? Who’s there?”

“Hey dingus.” Luckily, Steve couldn’t even see Robin yet-- or rather, she couldn’t see him or his emphasized eye roll. She could hear him groan though. “Hey, shut up and quit whining. I’m sending you home early.”

Her head popped out from the hallway. Robin’s ponytail was high on her head, the hair flopping over and getting caught in her stringy bangs. She flung her backpack out from behind her and tossed it toward Steve. She wasn’t in her uniform yet, only wearing the buttoned up shirt-- unbuttoned and showing her torn and dyed shirt underneath. She was wearing jogging shorts, her knees torn up and covered with Band-Aids. They reminded Steve of the ones taped to his face after getting a plate smashed into his forehead. Deceivingly cheerful.

“What are you doing here early?” Steve stood and followed her, holding her backpack awkwardly in his hands. “You’re never early.” Eight on the dot. Every time.

“I figure you want to get out of here tonight.” She didn’t even stop to look at Steve as they walked into the back room. “Probably want to see your boyfriend.”

Her words weren’t sharp, but Steve still recoiled. He let his arms, and her bag, hang by his sides.

“Who? Jonathan?” The only way Jonathan and Robin had ever met was in the hallways of Hawkins High. She definitely never saw them interact at the station-- or on any of their nights together: they were always indoors. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“First off, I didn't even say a name." Shit. "Second, he came in the other day looking for you.” Robin started buttoning her shirt up, fixing the collar as she finally turned to see Steve. “He was really upset-- didn’t even know what time it was to know you weren’t working.”

“Upset?” Technically, it wasn’t Steve’s problem. It was the deal; they didn’t have to care about each other’s lives. It was just summer. It was just like any other summer.

“Yeah. Crying, sniffling, snot-- the whole nine, man.” Robin sounded extremely sympathetic despite beginning to change her pants. Steve whipped around, covering his face. “You should go see him. Make sure he’s okay. Be a good boyfriend... shithead.”

“He’s not--”

“Steve, I’m the last person you should be arguing with.” Robin laughed-- and it was only momentarily threatening. Until, of course, Steve realized what she meant.

Like all good secrets kept at Hawkins PD, Steve kept his mouth shut and nodded even if she wasn’t looking.

“Yes, sir--ma'am-- Robin.”

“So, are you going to go or what, dingus?” She tapped him on the shoulder. “Get out of here-- and tell me all about it Wednesday.”

Steve blinked at her, holding out her bag. As if it was enough thanks to give her back her own property. “Are we… friends, or something?”

“No, of course not.” She winked, slapping his arm. “Just looking out for one of my own.”

After picking Mike up from his house, they drove home in uncharacteristic chatter. Jonathan was the only one speaking, humming along to the radio. Will was exhausted beyond performative small talk; the type that had to be done between two best friends when a third party was present. Mike was great at just sitting with Will in silence, but Jonathan didn’t know that. Instead, the three of them passed around quiet jokes and laughter, answering questions about their friends for Jonathan’s upkeep of information.

Once they got in the house, Jonathan let them wander off into Will’s room as he started pulling pots out of the kitchen cabinets. He wouldn’t bother or pester them about any summer work, either. They would be left alone in their own coupled silence.

Mike was sitting cross-legged on Will’s floor, twisting one of Will's crayons between his fingers. Will needed new ones but he felt funny asking for them as a near-freshman in high school. He liked the glide of wax on paper compared to the scrape of colored pencils. Well, that and the fact he ruined half of his crayons the year prior making a full map of Hawkins in a fugue state and only had two crayons able to be used normally.

“You had doctor stuff today, right?”

Will was digging under his bed for his emptier sketch book. “Yeah. Therapy. Doctor doctor stuff was two weeks ago.”

“How was it?” Mike let his hand still and rest in his lap. “Like, what do you do in therapy? Just start talking?”

“Yeah, but it’s more than that. You have to think about stuff too. Doctors ask you questions, sometimes.” Will pulled back and drug his old drawing supplies along the carpet. He sat back on his heels and was able to see Mike over the top of the bed. He didn’t know Will was looking. “You have to have answers.”

“What do they ask about?” Mike kept looking at his hands, unaware of Will. “Upside down stuff?”

“Sometimes.” Will shuffled back around to Mike's side of the bed. He could feel the tiniest bit of rug burn starting. “She asked me about my dad today.”

Mike looked up, almost immediately. “Can she do that?”

“Why can’t she?” Will popped the lid on the retired Tupperware, now his art bin. “I talked about it.”

“I thought you didn’t like to.” Will had never said those words which meant Mike had gathered it from just observing him. “Did you… like talking about it?”

“Not really.” Will laughed. He found a few extra crayons, but of all the wrong colors. “She had this big speech afterward about learned helplessness that I… really didn’t like.” Will tried to keep laughing.

Mike put the crayon back in the bin. “Are you okay, Will?”

“Yeah. It’s just… the same old stuff.” Will shrugged. “Sometimes it just bothers me more than other days.”

Mike bit the inside of his cheek, picking at his words carefully. “You never talk about your dad, Will.”

“Why would I?”

“Because it bothers you. You can talk about anything you want-- I… I would listen.”

“You don’t have to listen to it just because it happened to me, you know. My therapist says you don’t have to experience things with me for them to be real.”

“But I want to know.” Mike looked insulted, almost crushed and collapsed as he sat back on his hands. “That’s your dad,” he said. “And you’re my friend.”

They sat in silence for a while. Mike went back to studying a new crayon, picking at the wrapper. Will felt something forming in his throat. A bubble that was hot, thick and sticky. Not vomit, but not impending tears either.

“I don’t get why he left.” Will said. “I don’t know what happened to our family.”

“Nothing happened. Maybe he just… wasn’t good at being your dad anymore.”

“But then why? What did I do?” Will didn’t want to ask Mike, make him feel responsible for answering, but Will was desperate to ask the universe again.

“Nothing.” Mike said. “I just think he…”

“He what? My dad got tired of me? Didn’t want to raise me?”

“Maybe he actually learned how to take a hint and knew he wasn’t good enough for you and Jonathan-- or your mom.” Mike wanted to be hopeful, to be positive, so badly. He ached, his smile tight and weak. He didn't have the answers, and who was Will to put him in the position to come up with them.

“So he gave up.” Will said.

“That’s not what I meant--”

“I know. I know… That’s just how it feels.” Will shrugged. He smiled at Mike, accepting his help and his warmth. It hurt knowing that Mike was wrong, but still. Will could always pretend a little longer. Anything for Mike.

“Hey! You monsters hungry?” Steve clapped his hands together before gently tapping the door. “Jonathan’s got dinner on the table.”

The door was open. Steve didn’t have to knock. He wanted to, just to prove he wasn’t too comfortable, but he also knew Mike was over. And knocking would announce his entrance rather than letting it just be something that just was . Rather than being cool .

Awkwardly and with a lot of weird, throat-clearing fanfare, Steve opened the Byers’s front door and poked his head inside. Jonathan called him in from the kitchen without even needing to say hello, or being surprised by his walking in: In here, Steve! Dinner’s almost done .

Steve walked through the living room carefully, as if he’d disturb it. There was a tape playing softly-- some band Steve’s never heard of, but didn’t hate. He’d grown to like the way that every song played in the Byers house was always moody and melancholy. The music was always the opposite of how he felt stepping into the kitchen.

Jonathan was at the stove, stirring a pot of something that smelled delicious. He had what looked to be tomato sauce stains on the front of his shirt-- where he wrapped his hand up to open the sauce jar. Steve was able to hide his smile as he shouldered off his uniform jacket and toed off his shoes, claiming a chair at the kitchen table.

“How was work?” Jonathan didn’t stop stirring. He moved like the stove was turned all the way up and he was afraid of burning the food. He spoke that way too.

“It was fine. Not a whole lot.” Steve didn’t want to have anything seem bigger than whatever upset Jonathan-- and seemed to still be upsetting him now. “How was your day?”

“Fine. Will and Mike are in the other room.” He was checking things off his list. Steve stepped up to Jonathan and stood even with him at the stove. He was making one-pot pasta. It really did smell fantastic. Steve was so hungry, even after his lunch.

“How was… the other things in your day? Develop any good pictures?” Steve covered how stupid he sounded by placing his hand on Jonathan’s lower back.

Jonathan stopped stirring and looked at him. Steve tried to keep cool, tried not to show his motives-- his attempt to calm something he couldn’t believe he’d missed spinning out of control, even if he didn’t know what it was. “Nancy walked into the dark room today-- she’s actually the one who gave me the muffin-- and she exposed the photos to light too early. So no, actually.”

Steve really was a bad boyfriend. Even when he wasn’t one yet-- or at all.

“Okay… how was. Everything else?”

“You don’t have to ask about my day, Steve. It’s okay.” Jonathan sighed and spoke evenly. “I’m just a little tired. Really. We don’t have to do the whole… thing .”

The whole thing where Steve was explicit about how much he really cared about Jonathan and admitted he was sincerely and terrifyingly in love with Jonathan.

“I was asking because I was curious. Not out of obligation.” Steve clarified. His hand slid to rest on Jonathan’s hip. He moved closer, lips aiming to place a commitment-less kiss on his cheek.

“Steve! I said to keep it cool .” Jonathan ducked back, placing a hand on Steve’s chest. “I don’t want Will to see us.”

“Your brother?” Steve was surprised; of all people Jonathan explicitly wanted to hide from Will seemed kind and forgiving-- not that there was anything to forgive, but it was something Steve often checked for. Steve was sure that one of Dustin’s friends would be… like Steve. Or like Jonathan-- maybe. All of them seemed prepared to deal with any of their friends suddenly being different. Far more prepared than Steve ever was.

“Yes. My brother.” Jonathan snapped, banging the spoon against the edge of the pot. “I don’t want him to learn I’m not dating Nancy but instead seeing her ex-boyfriend in the same day.” he whispered.

“Wait, what? He thinks you’re with Nancy?” Steve wasn’t sure where they went wrong. They were trying to obscure the truth, not lead everyone to a different reality. “D-Do you think Mike does too?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t want to ask and seem weird.” Jonathan sighed again. He sounded tense again. “I told Will I’d tell him if I was seeing anyone… And he promised me the same.”

Steve knew not to press the obvious question-- well are you seeing someone, Jonathan? -- but also didn’t want to touch the obvious implication that Will needed to share a secret with Jonathan. Instead, he placed his hands into his pockets and turned to lean against the counter.

“Dinner smells really good, Byers.” There was another name that began with “B” that Steve wasn’t allowed to use, but always wanted to. Byers Byers Byers. Baby baby baby. “Thank you, again, for cooking for me-- for us.”

“You think I’m going to let you starve?” His stirring slowed; the stove cooled down. He nudged Steve’s arm with the spoon. “You coming home late and trying to cook? You mean half-drinking a beer and falling asleep face down on your bed in your uniform, half unbuttoned.”

“You picture that often, Byers?” Steve lifted an eyebrow. “Hm?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Jonathan’s lips quirked into a smile again. “But, if you’d like a beer, I think there’s one in the fridge. No one in the house is going to touch it.”

“I can go ask Will if he wants it.”

“Shut up-- do you want it or not?”

“No.” Steve didn’t like drinking when they were together. He’d never really heard the full story about where Mr. Byers went, but he had a father of his own to make those blank spaces fill pretty fast. “But thanks. Don’t want the habit of needing a beer to forget how boring my job is.”

“I thought you liked your job?” Jonathan took a piece of pasta out of the pot and held it out for Steve to test.

He chewed and answered. “I do! It’s nice to have normal hours-- and I’m happy to help have replacements as Flo gets ready to retire but… I don’t know. Sometimes it feels boring .”

“Would you rather be chasing down a four-legged monster without a face?” Jonathan let out a bubble of genuine laughter, playfully glaring at Steve.

“Frankly, yes! At least we’d all have something to do. I feel like I don’t see everyone anymore.”

“Then throw a party. Don’t wish for anything bad to happen.” Jonathan said firmly. “Let the record show my brother is a very strange magnet for all this… weird shit.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Steve said solemnly. He put his hand on Jonathan’s forearm. “I wish we were all safely doing something exciting. It felt nice to be needed, even if no one knew it was us.”

Jonathan put the spoon down on the counter and pivoted to be looking only at Steve. There was something resting just on the tip of his tongue, just under the surface of their conversation. It would’ve been a digression-- Steve could tell by Jonathan’s tense and furrowed brow-- but he would’ve listened.

“Jonathan?” Steve squeezed his arm, lifting his eyebrows. “What is it?”

“I--” He clenched his jaw, trying to swallow his words. “I think--” Steve knew there was no end to Jonathan’s sentence; merely starting it meant there was trust between them. A careful admission through omission. Steve knew Jonathan was looking at his shoes and wouldn’t be seen as he took in the secret flinches of Jonathan’s face. The crinkle by his left eye, the twitch of his mouth, double blinking--

They both jumped apart as the phone started ringing, practically shaking on the wall. Jonathan stepped away from Steve and left everything unsaid. Again.

Jonathan tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder as he turned to lean against the wall.

“Hello? This is--” His face changed sharply, his eyebrows furrowing. “I told you to stop bothering us. You’re lucky she’s not here to pick up the phone-- I don’t care !” Jonathan cleared his throat and looked at Steve in a flash of uncertainty and anxiety. “I have the police here right now and if you don’t stop calling me I will send them to your house-- it’s not a threat if you’re the one bothering us. Stop. Calling.” He slammed the phone down and braced his weight against the wall with his other hand.

“Am I considered ‘the police’ now?” Steve said lightly. It was his way of letting Jonathan know he was listening, but not asking direct questions. “I’m not even allowed to have a badge.”

“It counts.” Jonathan said, letting his arms fall down by his sides. Steve stepped over and kept stirring dinner.

“Who was that?”

“No one. Can you go get the boys in the other room? Dinner’s ready.” Jonathan pushed Steve aside to hunch over the stove again.

“Sure.” Steve nodded, knowing he wasn’t seen. “Hey! You monsters hungry? Jonathan’s got dinner on the table.”

Dinner felt weird.

Will couldn’t help but feel like he and Mike had gotten into a fight. Talking about his dad made anything feel sticky, feel like it was violent or volatile. A second from snapping or tearing off, bouncing around the walls and echoing in Will's body. A small conversation between friends-- actually a little understanding between best friends-- felt like it had been a screaming match, all because it was cut off. There was no apology from Will. He didn't have the chance to tie it all up with an I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, forget I said anything.

His plea sat heavy on his tongue as he talked to Steve-- who had arrived without notice-- and let Mike make him laugh so hard he nearly shot water out his nose. Will let it all happen under the tremor, the ache, of an apology. And maybe, if he was the best brother and friend he should’ve been, no problems or therapy, it would be enough of an apology.

He wasn't hungry and only ate half his serving of pasta, even though it was usually his favorite of Jonathan's recipes. He did apologize for that though, and it felt right to say aloud. Even if it was misdirected and no one heard it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so so sorry. Please come back--

Mike wasn’t tired, Will knew, but he still wanted to go to bed right after their horror movie ended. It was clear Mike hadn't been paying attention to the movie; the entire plot was that dreams were a new horror-scape for monsters to get teenagers. It wasn't too scary to Will; it just felt familiar. The villain looked different, more human, but Will knew what it felt like to dream while wide awake. To watch and be unable to do anything but scratch at the surface--

Convincing Will to get ready for bed, Mike said they’d have all day in the morning. He said that maybe he could convince his mom to let him stay over again if they don’t get all their fun in. Will knew Mike's mom probably would, if only because she felt bad for Will. But he would take the pity. A sleepover wasn't the worst thing to get from pity.

Will could still hear Mike fidgeting in his sleeping bag. He was rubbing his feet together like a cricket and twisting his wristwatch. The plastic scratched the sheer material of his sleeping bag rhythmically: back and forth. back and forth. backandforthbackandforth. It was like Mike was counting the ticks of his silent digital watch. Will began to play with his own watch, keeping it on in bed only because he'd noticed Mike hadn't removed it when they were brushing their teeth that night; apparently the watch was too good to part with.

Time though, was something Will wished he could separate himself from. He could hear the seconds scraping by now. Every moment he kept his friend awake and bored because Will was too weak or (rather and) too everything to stay up late again.

Therapy hadn’t even been that bad. Not really. Maybe it could be exhausting but it didn’t count because Will sat in the same spot for an hour. It wasn’t real work. It shouldn’t have counted. Will should’ve been able to hang out with his friend until sunrise, getting in trouble with his mom for being up so late. He should’ve still been a stupid, carefree kid, not a by-gone troubled teenager.

Maybe his dad had seen that from the beginning. Will's dad was always gambling, betting on baseball games he had these incredible "feelings" on. Sometimes he was wrong, but when he was right it was an amazing prediction; having the foresight no one else had. And maybe that was what it was, leaving them when he did. Maybe he saw Will wouldn’t be the second son he wanted after all. Maybe he knew of all the damage that would be done to him, the damage he would cause. Probably saw it from miles-- years-- away. And he left without a single warning to any of it.

What if his father had known? Could've known where he was when he came back into town two years ago? Not gone forever just in the lights. Just out of reach, just through the wall, Dad. What if he had known, been able to see, able to know, but wanted to leave Will Down there being possessed and enveloped and consumed and--

Will felt a chill scurry down his back. The feeling almost had legs. Too many. He felt ice cold, his body going blank-- not numb, but blank -- for a second. He couldn’t feel his fingers, but could still feel every inch of his body, suddenly pulsing and seizing.

"Will?" Mike asked, sitting up. He gripped the end of the bed and pulled his face closer to Will's. He squinted in the darkness, feeling for Will’s hand. Will couldn’t answer, his jaw tense and breath rattling out of him. "Will, what’s wrong?"

After a (thankfully) non-awkward dinner, Steve and Jonathan washed all the dishes and let the boys watch whatever movie they wanted. Steve didn’t pay attention to what tape he put in the VRC. He was too busy thinking about the hands hidden in the warm soapy water in the kitchen sink. Neither Mike nor Will seemed too bothered by the disgusting amount of blood or the scary blade man on the TV. He felt no regret letting them go to bed right after the credits rolled. Jonathan had looked exhausted after putting the last dish away, and dozed off during the climax of the movie-- even slept through the high-pitched screaming.

They waited for the sound of Will’s door closing over before they got into bed.

Jonathan flopped onto his back, a pillow resting between his chest and crossed arms. Steve laid on his side, bracing his weight on his elbow. He poked at Jonathan's furrowed eyebrow lightly.

"What's the problem, Byers?"

"Nothing."

"You are not a really great liar, you do know that right?" That and Steve could still hear Robin's blasé recounting of Jonathan's distress. Yeah. Crying, sniffling, snot-- the whole nine, man.

Jonathan sighed and turned to look at Steve. He hated being called out. "It's about Will."

"What's wrong with Will? He seemed alright at dinner."

"Yeah, but," Another sigh. "Steve, I think my brother’s gay."

Steve's first response was swallowed and he nodded. "Okay. Okay. And, um, what's the issue with that?" He adjusted himself on the bed, hoping there was more subtlety in that.

"I can't talk to him about it. I mean," Jonathan smiled and reached to touch his face. "This is a very different thing than being fourteen and confused."

"Who says he's confused?"

"I don't mean with himself-- the rest of the world is so confusing, Steve. You see the news... I can't talk to him. I didn't grow up like that. And being with you is... Different. We dated girls before. Will... I don't know. I think he knows already."

"You think he's got feelings for--"

"Oh absolutely." Jonathan nodded, closing his eyes. "Oh, I'm so glad it's not just me who sees it."

"Hopefully Wheeler does too."

"Hey, keep your voice down, he's only a few rooms over ."

"Sorry. Sorry. Me and my big mouth " Steve rested his head on Jonathan's shoulder. "Shut me up, maybe."

"Not until my mom gets back." Jonathan said, rolling up onto his side too. "If I catch her when she comes in the door, she won't come into my room to say good night. I can't have you distracting me until then."

"Your mom is on a date. She's an adult and so are you." Steve kissed Jonathan's shoulder. "You are a working man who just finished a long day at work-- I think you can cuddle up with your boyf--" Steve choked on his own stupidity, feeling his face go red and charisma die on impact. "With me."

"I will. Once my mom is back." Jonathan kissed Steve, as if a parting promise. Only to backtrack on his words immediately. He tucked Steve’s hair back behind his ear, his hands trying not to hold his face. “No-- no . Steve, not until my mom gets back.”

“I can keep an ear out--” As Steve spoke, the power in his bedside lamp dimmed. The power hummed quietly before flickering back up. Jonathan tensed and pushed himself up in bed.

“Did you see that?”

“Yeah, it was just the light, Byers. It’s windy out tonight, maybe a tree brushed a powerline.” Steve pushed Jonathan back down to his pillow-- and back into his own skin again. “It’s nothing . What if I turn out the light? Your mom won’t even see us in here.”

“No. No, I have to wait for her.”

“What if she doesn’t come back?”

“What!” Jonathan jerked upright again.

“I meant what if she’s at Hopper’s or something?” Steve shrugged. “She’s an adult.”

“Steve, that’s my mom .” Jonathan hissed, swatting at the hand resting on his shoulder.

“I meant because she drove there on her own. If she had some wine, maybe she stayed somewhere and is being a smart, responsible parent.” Steve soothed. “Something you don’t have to be right now. You’re not Will’s parent and you aren’t your own. Lay down, will you?”

Jonathan was reluctant, but let Steve ease him back down again. He pulled the pillow tighter to his chest and sighed, his crossed arms sinking deeper. Steve laid down beside him, nose gently touching the end of his shoulder. As he breathed, his short exhales tickled Jonathan’s skin and got him giggling. It was Steve’s secret trick; something that always worked because Jonathan didn’t know it was a pattern-- didn’t know he was ticklish.

“Sorry I was weird today.” Jonathan said suddenly. He wasn’t even grinning.

“What?” They didn’t apologize. There was no need. “You’re worried about stuff-- it’s okay.”

“No, I like our dinners. And I was so uptight. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” Steve didn’t know what to do with the sentiment. “Apology accepted?”

Jonathan sighed again, blowing it out slowly between his pressed lips. “Lonnie called today.”

“L- your dad ? Is that who was on the phone?” Steve wasn’t sure what came over him-- or his body-- as he placed an arm over Jonathan’s waist and pulled them together. There was something unspokenly intimate talking about abusive fathers while being nearly sutured together in bed, but Steve pretended he was just having problems hearing Jonathan correctly.

“Yeah.” Jonathan turned, his nose brushing Steve’s. “Said he wants custody of Will. He doesn’t trust Mom, he said.”

“How is he-- He can’t do that.”

“He’s going to try. I don't know where it came from. He still thinks he can win a case because the news says Will just disappeared into the woods . Like he ran away from us or something.”

“Everyone knows that’s not true.”

“A court might not.” Jonathan sighed, ducking his head down. Steve resisted lifting his chin to hook it over Jonathan’s head, nestling him into his neck. He laid still, listening to his breathing and the gentle creaking of the house--

Jonathan's door was thrown open, both men sitting up quickly, ready to defend themselves and their actions. It was Mike, in his pajamas with his hair sticking out in wild curls. Will stood just behind him in the hallway looking far more awake. Stilted and untousled.

"Mike?"

"Jonathan, quick!"

"What is it?" Jonathan swung his legs around and motioned both boys to come in. "Will?" Mike pushed him into the center of the door frame, although he remained in the hallway, in the light. Will’s hand grabbed at the back of his neck. His face was blank and his eyes were distant.

"Something's wrong." Will said slowly, blinking to focus. "I feel him."

"Feel who?" Jonathan kneeled in front of Will, holding his shoulders. "Feel who, Will?"

"Dad."

#stonathan #jonathan byers x steve harrington #byeler #will byers x mike wheeler #byler #finally reposting in a way that isn't a random post with a link alksdja #prompts #my fics

69 notes · View notes

bella-donna418 · 3 years

Text

PTA Meetings

A/N: Modern AU.

Basically some ships I ship when going to parental meetings cuz uwuwuwuwuwuuwu

~~~

EreMika (Eren and Mikasa)

During parental meetings Eren used to be the only person to go since he's like, "No, I'm the one going. Who knows what might happen to you?"

And when he gets home, a jealous Mikasa greets him—glaring at him.

It's like she had these senses and she was right.

The ladies in the parental meeting STARE at him (yes, even the teachers) then notices his ring and end up like, 😳 who the wife? (CUZ THEY NEVER SAW MIKASA BEFORE)

Ends up calming down when she sees their tiny ol'' child (THEIR CHILD WILL BE SO PERFECT THEY BASICALLY WON LIFE. I ENVY—)

So in the end, they end up going in parental meetings together and ofc, they've become clearly unapproachable, but stareable to the point the teacher just snaps and starts focusing on their job (like bro u gotta focus on work or u fired)

When they do get approached by other parents they wear their RBFs (proceed to google if clueless) and they still look FINE to which the parent is like 😳👉👈

But they'd just sit there and listen to what the teacher has to say and when the ladies stare at Eren, Mikasa has that dark aura around her (please insert AoT Junior High when Levi beat Eren up? or smth) and looks at them (the way she looked like when Historia and Eren talk scene)

And same goes for the men who stare at Mikasa LOL.

He goes straight up looking at them with an RBF and they just look away (he intimidating man—)

But overall, they get perfect attendances in parental meetings.

And usually, once they have finished those they don't go home.

They instead go to a restaurant with their little one and their bonding is just 🥺 (my heart though, pls call the ambulance—)

And if you're wondering what they wear...

Since both work and had to leave earlier during those times parental meetings are held, they'd be in their work outfits (because there's no time to go home and change—and it's also a decent outfit to wear)

*insert chapter 123 outfits cuz they just, ✨yes✨*

Overall, they're that kind of parents who wear their RBFs when someone approaches them but free real estate because you get to encounter them.

AruAni (Armin and Annie)

This is a very interesting one.

But like EreMika, they get perfect attendances during parental meetings, them being the earliest of all parents (wow best parents award LOL)

Annie doesn't look like she cares but she's usually thinking of their child during parental meetings (doesn't pay attention to any bullshit thing the teacher says cuz her mind busy)

Armin has been the attentive one listening to the school's plans for their children and all/announcements

Once approached by others, they'd turn around and be like, '???' and ask, "Can we help you?" (yes, they're always together)

The parents usually talk about them in secret (who knows good or bad maybe)

Annie would wear her signature RBF and raise a brow when she notices all of the other parents staring at them.

Oh and they'd be in their work clothes, assuming Annie is a lawyer and Armin is a teacher (can I be smart as you?)

Once they finally got home, they'll just cuddle with their little one and watch Netflix (IT'S ADORBS UWUWUWUWUWU)

JeanPiku (Jean x Pieck, and y e s, we exist and rise)

Ah.... the height difference—

Let's not talk about their height difference.

BUT. Pieck is that mom who smiles at everyone and everyone just </3 from her cuteness—Jean glaring at them from the back though—

Jean halfheartedly listens and Pieck slowly nodding at the teacher.

They both want to get this finished because one, Jean doesn't like being stared at and last is Pieck getting bored (even though she smiles a lot, she's been wanting to get out of those meetings)

Pieck would wear a blouse and a long skirt while Jean would be in his outfit from ep 1 in season 4 (yes we simped on the chin)

When they get home they'd bake some cookies or cupcakes and stuff (IT'D BE SO ADORABLE IK IT)

Springles (Connie and Sasha)

oH nOw we here.

Sasha would bring food lol

Connie and Sasha do attend (but most of the time Sasha goes on her own)

She's an attentive listener (surprisingly)

But when Connie does come with her, ohh tea got better.

*insert 2-3 hours long of humorous meetings when Connie arrives*

Sasha would wear a blouse and mini skirt while Connie would wear a simple shirt and pants.

When they finish, they'd go to a restaurant or anywhere to eat (I wonder whose money died 😂😂😂)

So if you like eating for dayz you lucky to have Spingles LOL

LeviHan (Levi and Hanji)

I don't even know what to say about these two LOL

The fact their too busy is just ✨indescribable✨

And if luck has it that their both free from work and boom—parental meeting, they either go with an intimidating RBF, or simply no.

However, if they go solo, Levi would be stared at by all the parents and he glares at them (ofc they get terrified and back away or stop)

When it comes to Hanji, her smile or RBF already made her unapproachable to which she feels happy about it.

They'd wear their work outfits or coats (they'd rather wear something professional than wear something casual)

Basically they'd only go to parental meetings they (mostly Levi) DEEM important.

But once the parental meeting is over they'd usually go to a mall or park to hangout after "excruciating" hours of sitting down listening to the teacher's blabberings about solicitation and stuff and they DON'T like it.

So after going through that meeting and knowing their agendas and blah blah blah, to escape that kind of stuff—they plan something beyond that (yes, especially those Christmas parties and stuff they go in a vacation somewhere lol)

Whoever have them as parents, YOU'RE FUCKING LUCKY TO ESCAPE YOUR SCHOOL'S GATHERINGS AND SHIT LOL

~~~

A/N: Another disappointing HC lol (ik my HCs are straight up d i s s a p o i n t m e n t 👁👄👁)

Ok some of them may be OOC

AND YES, JEANPIKU IS MY YACHT DON'T DARE SINK IT— (yes ik the height difference, BUT THEY CUTE TOGETHER K?)

397 notes · View notes

multimetaverse · 3 years

Text

HSMTMTS 2x12 Review

Second Chances was a lacklustre finale for an uneven season. Let’s dig in!

Earlier this week I re-watched S1 in preparation for the S2 finale and the contrast between the two seasons is jarring. In almost every way S2 has been worse and after seeing this finale I’m less optimistic that Tim will be able to fix the long list of things that have gone wrong. Tim has said in some of his interviews today that pretty much all of S2 was written before the pandemic and that they didn’t have to do as much re-writing as people might think due to the stringent safety measures Disney put in place. Of course, that removes an excuse for the bad writing we’ve seen so much of this season as according to Tim what we saw of S2 is largely what he envisioned minus big crowds and background dancers.

Across his many interviews today, the one consistent point is that Tim does not have any real plans for future seasons; things like Ricky’s endgame he hasn’t decided on and he can’t even guarantee the summer season the finale sets up due to the weather in Salt Lake. I do think a S3 is an almost certainty given the show’s popularity but I’ll take Tim at his word that he truly doesn’t know if they’ll be renewed since it seems to be a new Disney tradition to wait until seasons are done airing before making a renewal decision (the same thing happened for the popular and well received Mighty Ducks: Game Changers which got a silent renewal only after all of S1 aired). That being said as poor of a season finale as Second Chances is it is also a terrible potential series finale. In large part it goes back to his lack of planning, he wants to keep all options open but in doing so Tim is crippling the show’s ability to deliver any pay offs or tie up loose ends.

The one mostly well done plot line this season was Portwell which got a happy ending tonight as they canoned. The only good thing about the big brother angst was that it was so insane that it had to be addressed and sure enough it was and Gina got her first kiss with a guy she really liked. If Tim is to be believed the reason we didn’t get an on screen Portwell kiss was not because of their age difference or covid concerns but because he felt that everyone’s first kiss was different so he wanted it off screen so viewers could fill in the blanks themselves. Tim’s line of reasoning is profoundly stupid. Imagine if they had Jamie show up and he and Gina talked off screen and Tim tried to claim that because everyone has a different relationship with their own siblings that he wanted the audience to fill in the blanks as to how their conversation went!

Still we saw great character development on Gina and EJ’s part as both really grew from the people they were in S1. As Tim noted, EJ bringing Gina back in 1x10 was kind of the set up for this story line. The only thing missing was a brief Portwell scene sometime in eps 2x01-2x04 to set them up. The consistent development they got from 2x05-2x12 is unlike any other ship on the show; only Rini exceeds their development.

Unfortunately I don’t think that will last in S3 because Tim will always favour Ricky over EJ and if he wants to do Rina he’ll dispose of Portwell before doing so. I was surprised that they never bothered to have Ricky and Gina have a conversation about Gina’s S1 confession. It was a huge mistake to have Gina pine over Ricky for half the season and it was no surprise that Gina’s story line got instantly better once she stopped interacting with Ricky. Tim has made clear in interviews that he’s still interested in the possibility of Rina which makes his poor writing of them even more bizarre. What conclusions are the audience supposed to draw from the Rina story line this season? That Ricky never cared that much about Gina? That it’s totally fine for the show if they don’t interact for 6 eps in a row? That Gina has moved on? I’ve said before that a wiser man than Tim would recognize that doing both Portwell and Rina will do tremendous damage to the show and he should pick one and not do the other. Of course he’s not that smart but it is wild how he’s accidentally written their story line to make for a perfect end to Rina.

Second Chances was great and is the only part of the finale that would have been well suited to being part of a potential series finale.

The Rini closure was a sad inverse of their S1 opening night confession. They’ve fallen so far from being the it couple of the series and I fear Tim doesn’t actually know what to do with them now. He really needs to decide if he’s tearing down that treehouse for real.

The less said about the Valentine’s chocolates the better but at least Gina and Nini are cool again and Nini can explore her budding music career with Jamie’s help. Tim repeatedly said in interviews that the scripts about Nini’s music career were all written before Driver’s License came out and I think he understands that the audience is just going to see the show as copying from Olivia’s life.

The wildcats just deciding to drop out of the Menkies was a lame cop out. Tim has said he always meant for that to happen though they were originally going to compete at the Menkies then drop out (presumably that’s where we would have heard Lily singing Home). Somebody should have mentioned the $50 000 prize money which the East High theatre department could surely use after Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara burned it down (remember that story line that had no consequences?). And that NYU scholarship could have been life changing for one of them and yet no one even brought it up once this season.

I did like the twist that it was EJ and his dad who got Mazzara into Caltech. He’d be a fool not to take it but I’m glad he confessed to Miss Jenn. She’s had a really rough season and I hope she redeems herself in S3.

Howie was acting so weird tonight and last ep that I have a hard time believing he was really so awed by Kourtney’s talent rather than feeling guilty for helping to steal the harness. The harness is another useless plot device; there are no consequences for Lily stealing it, she’s not caught, East High pulls off another version of the transformation off screen, and then East High withdraws from the Menkies anyways. Doubtless the harness will eventually come up to serve Rily angst.

At least Lily was straightforward, I’ll give her that. She has such an odd way of speaking, almost child like. As awful as it is there is potential for a forbidden/secret romance story line with Rily. It really does not speak well to Ricky’s character that he’s so easily fallen for Lily’s act when he has no reason to trust her and she never apologized for making fun of Big Red during the auditions or making Ashlyn feel insecure during the dance off.

The one way in which S2 was drastically better to S1 was in regards to the Seblos story line. Clearly Joe being bumped up to regular made a big difference. We got the first same-sex kiss between two boys and the first love song sung by one boy to another in Disney history and that is a legacy to be proud of. Of course, there was still some Disney censorship such as Carlos and Seblos being unable to use the word gay in the same ep that focused on Carlos singing In a Heartbeat to Seb.

S1 of HSMTMTS had a clear direction, the wildcats would have to try and come together to stage High School Musical and Ricky and Nini would have to decide if they still had a future together while Gina and EJ had to work on being better versions of themselves. It was simple sure but it worked very well. There was a lot of heart but also a lot of humor and the show never took itself too seriously. What has S2 had? Beauty and the Beast was hardly the main focus of the cast or the writers and the central couple that S1 was built around is now broken up either for a long time or for good. There was a lot less of the meta moments that jokes that made S1 such a hit, for far too many eps this season the show took itself way too seriously. Hell even the lighting this season was darker than in S1.

Olivia Rodrigo’s team had complained in a recent article that Olivia wouldn’t be able to potentially tour until fall 2022 due to her contractual commitments which is a sign that they think a S3 is very likely though I wonder how late S3 filming would have to start to keep her occupied until late 2022. There’s no confirmation of this but I thought it might be worth keeping an eye on; a post on r/hsmtmts by someone who claims to have a source working on production says that the plan is for S3 to be a summer theatre camp possibly with Camp Rock renditions and the plan for S4 is to jump 6 months ahead to the final semester of senior year and end with Ricky, Nini, Big Red, and Kourtney graduating from East High. They also say that part of the delay in the S3 announcement is a conflict between Tim and Disney executives. Tim wants to move production to LA and film on sets as it’s easier and cheaper while the Disney execs still want some on location shooting in Salt Lake. Again this is all unconfirmed but if it pans out it will represent a major shift in the series.

Regardless if Tim wants the show to remain successful he needs start planning out what he wants to happen. He should not assume he’s getting more than 4 seasons. If the series gets a S3 but then is suddenly cancelled then how would he want all the main story lines to wrap up? And if they make it to S4 where does he see it ending? The graduation of the current juniors is a logical series ending point but if Tim wants to do something different he needs to start thinking of that now. I can’t say I’m excited anymore for S3 but I do really hope that Tim and his writers can turn things around and that will only happen if they recognize what they did wrong and learn from their mistakes.

Until next season Wildcats

#HSMTMTS #Portwell #Rini #Gina Porter #EJ Caswell #Ricky Bowen #Nini Salazar-Roberts #Kourtney Greene #lily #HSMTMTS Reviews

60 notes · View notes

heauxzenji · 3 years

Note

I just came across you nsfw with Osamu and I really enjoyed it I was wondering if You could do one for Kita?

Hi love! This is for u 💕 and all the kita fuckers worldwide- myself included bc I’m in love with him now 🥺

NSFW Alphabet - Kita Shinsuke

Nsfw below da cut g

gn!reader focus in this hoe

A/n: ty @honey-makki for being my partner in degeneracy and my wife ilysm bc she can read when I can’t

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Will feed you a full meal. His way of making sure you’re cared for is keeping you well fed. He will cuddle you and spoon feed you himself if he has to, as long as you eat every single bite. He has a routine for everything, aftercare is no exception. He runs you a bath, then, while you soak, he cooks. Will make sure to throw a hoodie in the dryer before heading to the kitchen so it'll be warm for you post shower. Then he feeds you and holds you, playing with your hair or your hands until you fall asleep.

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

You already know what the fuck is going onnnn! Kita is honestly so well sculpted that it really doesn’t matter but let’s talk about his back/shoulders. He’s so mf broad and it's very sexc of him. He’s also very fond of when you cling onto and scratch it up…. delicious

He loves your hands. He loves to hold them, especially when he’s looking straight into your eyes as he drills the hell out of you- he’ll lift one up and kiss it bc ✨romance✨

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Oh he’s going to fill you so full of cum that it pours out of your ears. He has a big breeding kink, and huge loads to match. But he’s also very healthy and takes good care of himself so his cum isn’t bad on your tongue on the off chance he hasn’t already cum inside you 600 times prior to finally doing so in your mouth. And he’s going to kiss you after- very sexc of him.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

Lost his virginity in a barn. Got a tick on his ass of all places. The barn isn’t the secret tho... the tick is.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

When you got together- he was definitely a virgin. Had only gone as far as MAYBE second base. But you used that to your advantage, because you’ve essentially built him up and trained him to be PERFECT for you. You also helped him find out what he likes and what makes him feel good too. Sure there was a lil’ corruption involved, but in the end you’re both very happy with your sex life.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Full on mf wrestling mating press. He’s going to have his cock so deep inside of you that if he even pushed a bit more his body is gonna go in too. Then he’ll just live there. He’s fine with that.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

Unintentionally so. Every once in a while, you’ll both giggle or laugh because you have to reposition when you start to cramp up or you accidentally hit him in the face when tying to pull him closer or something. But he’s a firm believer in the whole “if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with you shouldn’t have sex with them” addage, so he’s very grateful for those light moments.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

It could definitely be neater. He isn’t abysmal, but he is hairy and could stand to trim a tiiiny bit more often. He’s just very low maintenance down there. As long as it’s clean he's good, which is both true and a decent place to start but pls tell him to get a little off the top of you know what I mean.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈y

He’s! So! Loving! He’s always going to go the extra mile to make you feel special. He likes to keep things on the softer side I’d say 8/10 times. He prefers to make love instead of just fucking it out- but if you get into an argument or he’s frustrated, he will happily go hard… but still with candles and a massage. Also I said it already but he’s gonna hold your hands while he demolishes you- interlaced fingers and all that cute shit even tho you’re getting railed.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

His grandma is one of those old ladies that’s like “don’t do that you’ll go blind,” so poor baby was a lil pent up before he got older. Now, he still doesn't do it often, but he does it once a month or so as part of his routine. He uses coconut oil because he likes the smell and that it melts easily.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Breeding, listen it’s just embedded in country boys to fuck and fill. He is no exception.

Spanking, moreso as a way to direct you. Moving too much? slap to stay still. Changing positions? Slap to get you moving. Just wants to see you jiggle? Yeah that too. Motivational slaps also come into play when he wants you to know you’re doing a good job.

Auralism, He LOVES to hear you. The sound of your breath, your moans, the way you chant his name when you’re close… he eats that shit up. It feeds his ego and boosts his pride. He also makes a lot of noise himself, mostly really deep moans but there’s a sprinkling of praise throughout too.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He needs privacy. So he’s definitely one to want to keep it at home or at least somewhere secluded and away, where he knows only you and him are there and will know about it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He doesn’t care how he does it, but his number one priority, is making sure that you cum. Kita is a giver. And he will make sure to give you whatever you want from him.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He’s not into SUPER rough stuff. He’s not vanilla, but he is the kind of guy that sees sex as “lovemaking” so he’s not gonna punch you in the face or throw you around like a ragdoll. It’s just not his style. Of course if it's what you want, he will… but never expect him to ever bring it up or do so on his own.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Ok so- he's… teachable. I’m not gonna lie, he would start off as absolute trash. But the good thing about him is how adaptable he is, and how willing he is to learn. You’d have to have him work at it a lot but once he gets good he’s great. He’ll love the feeling of accomplishment he gets from you getting off with only his mouth- it does wonders for his pride.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

It’s very even- until he starts to get close. When he’s close he’s going to speed up so much that you have to brace yourself against anything that’ll hold you. He is definitely a headboard grabber too.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He likes to take his time with you. For that reason, he isn’t a huge fan. You would really have to convince him that it's worth it. He doesn’t see the point in instant gratification, and thinks you should be patient. Good things come to those who wait and all that Kita stop being so stoic and rail me at the farmers market challenge

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

Lmfao you think this mans is really gonna go for a public or semi-public scene? Think again. Now, he’s into sex outdoors sure, but only in your fenced in, enclosed backyard. He’s not letting anyone see you point blank periodt, you’re for his eyes only.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Excellent self control. He can hold off on cumming for as long as you need him to. Usually he’ll tap out himself after you’ve gotten through at least 3 of your own highs- but his record is 6. Has a super long refractory period tho- so he does things this way to make sure you get everything you need in one go.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually likes using toys on you. He has a bunch of different plugs and vibes that he uses to suit the situation. He prefers to use a hitachi wand on you while he’s fucking you, but all the others he uses for foreplay- or after to keep you full to the brim of his cum.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

You both tease each other absentmindedly. He doesn’t know why he gets so turned on by you scrubbing the floor on all fours (that’s why), but he does. He also doesn’t understand why you think its hot when he cuts firewood in winter or wipes his forehead with his shirt during the summer. He thinks he’s gross and sweaty- but you can only think of a million other ways to make him sweatier.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Listen we stan. He’s not quiet in bed by any means, but he’s not overly loud either. He’s the type who takes deep breaths and then on the exhale let’s out a moan from deep in his chest- you know the one. And he does that shit on purpose. Not really, but he does think of it as his way of letting you know that he feels as good as you feel. Will also 100% hit you with the “is that it baby? Is that the spot?” While you’re practically turning into jello underneath him bc he absolutely knows that’s the spot he just likes to make you say it.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

Wants to recreate the sex scene from tthe notebook with you. He can’t explain why, he just has an unexplainable urge to suck your face off in the rain and then proceed to raw you after peeling all the damp clothes from your body. Please oblige him.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

He’s got the thickness. Not coke Can thickness but like… you remember the Alaskan bull worm from ep of SpongeBob? Well he’s the whole worm, not just the tongue. I’m going to hell for that reference but ya he has a nice dick. The perfect thickness and and I’ll say a pretty good 5.5-6 inches worth. It’s also very veiny on the underside which- yes I love that.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

Normal sex drive, since you tend to do it at least 2 times a week. He only seems to get a little needier when you CAN’T have sex regularly- ie, one of you is sick or you’re away from each other. When that happens, he’s a little edgier than usual, can snap sometimes but not often.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He’s the type to get a second wind after. He’ll only go to sleep after he makes sure all your aftercare needs are met, and even then, he’s only going to power-nap it for maybe 10mins. He’ll stay still and cuddle you while you sleep, but he’ll most likely watch tv or scroll through his phone while you enjoy his warmth. Every once in awhile he’ll give you a kiss while you stir.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith @tsumue @disasteren @hoe4abbacchio @sillykittt @ukaisbaby

#daisy’s red light district 🚨#haikyuu smut #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #kita haikyuu #kita x reader #hq x reader #hq smut #hq headcanons #haikyuu hc #haikyuu hcs #hq headcanon #hq writing #hq scenario #haikyuu x y/n #hq x gn!reader

432 notes · View notes

fancystudentpeanutpie · 3 years

Text

I’m finally making that listener post I said I would. Also I finally figured out how to put the ‘keep reading’ thing on posts.

The listeners first showed up in Martyn’s 61st and Jimmy’s 75th episodes. They were just fooling around when they heard note blocks. It was coming from a hole in the ground, which they jumped in. At the bottom, there was a small, broken looking room at the bottom. The floor was mostly sandstone, the walls and ceiling were regular, cracked, and mossy stone bricks. There were also iron bars, cobwebs, fire, and an iron door.

After finding the hidden lever for the door, they went down a really small hallway with lava dripping from the ceiling. It led to a room made out of the same stuff, with the addition of small lava pools, the listeners symbol(made out of bedrock, not the lighter bedrock later used), and 3 signs. The signs read:

‘There are some who watch. we are those who listen

heed our melody and await our first mission

Tell Nobody.’

Martyn wasn’t sure about not telling anyone, but Jimmy said they should. They decided to keep it to themselves “for now.”

Solidarity: MY FIRST MISSION (ep 98) (Sept. 16, 2018):

Unlike everyone else, who spawned at the new spawn, Jimmy spawned back at the old spawn.

Spawn was very broken and overgrown with vines and leaves. But only within a certain radius of spawn. There also seemed to be a lot of randomly placed soul sand for some reason. In the middle of it all, there was a statue with the listener symbol.

The statue was made out of dark gray concrete and wool, stone slabs, purple glass, and purple, black, gray, and white glass panes(mostly purple). This was also the first time the light bedrock was used. In front of the statue, there was a large chest. Inside it was 9 ender chests, arranged into the listeners symbol, and a book signed by the listeners, titled ‘Your Mission.’ It reads:

‘There are some who watch.

We are those who listen.

It’s finally time,

for your first mission

Dragged forwards through time,

Your spawn old and rotten.

Even in the end credits,

Your name was forgotten,

Cruel are the watchers who think they know best.

For us, please deliver each player a chest.

SHHhhh....’

Jimmy interpreted the shh at the end as don’t tell anyone, so he decided to keep it a secret, and that he must obey the listeners because he doesn’t know what they’d do if he doesn’t.

During the chest delivery, he pointed out that the townhouse had vines and boards on some of the windows, and there were some vines nearby, but everything around it was mostly fine.

Jimmy didn’t notice, but beside the ladder to Netty’s base, there was a 2 block pillar made out of the light bedrock. it had a sign on it that said ‘Dig Down,’ with a cobweb in a hole under it.

Netty: Back from the end (ep 95) (Sept. 16, 2018):

(most people have a pov of this, but I decided to use Netty’s)

They all(-Jimmy and Mini) spawned at the new spawn and went back to old spawn. It was exactly how Jimmy left it, including the ender chests, so they came after Jimmy completed his mission. But there was a big difference. The listener symbol was replaced with a watcher symbol made out of normal bedrock. The large chest had books titled ‘The Future’ and signed ‘WeTheWatchers,’ arranged into the watcher symbol. They read:

‘Our meeting was short and your victory grand.

Now 10 become 9 and you must leave this land.

Our reasons are just though you won’t understand.

Your actions have caused this, accidental or planned.

Tread now to your homes, carry only what you can.

Any more will be frowned on and the sentence, a ban.

We The Watchers

Have Spoken’

They went to their bases and found the ender chests, which all had the same book right in the middle of it. It was labeled ‘Greetings’ and was signed by ‘TheListeners.’ It read:

‘There are some who watch.

We are those who listen.

And we do not agree with their most recent decision.

“Carry only what you can”, what you deem here is best.

We grant you more space by making use of this chest.

SHHhhh....’

Martyn admitted that he and Jimmy had come into contact with them, and nothing else important really happened after that. They just collected their stuff and left.

I used Netty’s pov cause I thought I’d see something about the ‘Dig Down’ thing, and it was there, but she didn’t notice. I really want to know what that was about.

Solidarity: EMPTY AND ABANDONED (ep 99) (Sept. 18, 2018):

The 98 and 99th episodes were only uploaded 2 days apart, but there was canonically a 3 week difference(? it was some # of weeks). Jimmy said he spent the whole time in his apartment, not knowing what to do. He finally left, saying something about building, when he noticed that the listener symbol had been replaced with the watcher one. He then went to the property police station and saw signs left by Martyn, which he didn’t show in his episode. It reads:

‘Hey dude! Morty here. So, the Watchers have said we need to

move from this spawn. I think we got seperated after the dragon

but don’t worry, I took all of our stuff with me! Grab any last

things you need and come to 3069 64 -5825 <3′

This made him decide that the watchers were evil. He 100% believes that the watchers purposefully wreaked spawn themselves. (Don’t come at me if you don’t like evil watchers. Whether they are or not, Jimmy thinks they are.)

Solidarity: THE MYSTERIOUS TICKING NOISE AT SPAWN (ep 112) (Nov. 11, 2018):

About halfway through the video, he started to hear note blocks. He quickly decides to leave a sign at everyone’s bases, telling them about it. He also talks about being a messenger and immediately debates not telling anyone when deciding what to do, but that’s more of a Jimmy thing.

Solidarity: THE MYSTERY BENEATH SPAWN (ep 113) (Nov. 18, 2018):

(most pov’s have their own pov of this, but I only watched Jimmy, Martyn, and Pearls. I’m pretty sure that every pov has the same thing)

The remaining evolutionists got together to investigate the noise, leading to a hole, similar to the one that started the listener stuff.

It lead to a maze with an equally similar look. Very broken looking with sandstone floor and pillars, stone brick, mossy stone brick, and cracked stone brick walls with random iron bars. And, of course, the listener symbol made out of light bedrock.

Zee found a book titled ‘freedom,’ and Martyn read it. It reads:

‘There are some who watch.

We are those who listen.

If you flee, you’ll be free ad complete your recission.

Single versions are slow.

New adventures in store.

Come with us and we’ll give you lots more to explore.

Make haste through this maze as a portal awaits

Make the choice quick and take control of your fates

SHHhh....’

The rest of the video is spent trying to find the portal. The maze is just a bunch of almost identical looking rooms with hallways in between. Every room had the listener symbol in light bedrock, and seemed to use lava for lighting.

The portal was a lot bigger than the watchers portals, and it skipped more versions than what the watchers usually did. Other than that, there wasn’t much to note.

When they all finally got to the portal, they simply jumped through it and that was the end of the video, as well as the end of the listeners lore. And even the whole series for some of them. Barely any videos were made after it.

As far as I know, that’s it. If I find anything else, I’ll update this post.

#evolution smp #evo smp #the listeners #my post

32 notes · View notes

life-rewritten · 3 years

Text

Lovely Writer Ep 1; An Introduction to Ambition, Masks and Secret Goals

We did it, guys! After trying hard to get back into this writing groove thing, I think I have found it, the show that will make me want to write. And we all say What?? Oh, my word was the first episode of Lovely writer so great. From the first moment the show starts, you can tell there's meta, it's calling out the BL industry; sarcastically, with comedy, shallowness, and yet there's this air of secrecy and depth to it. It's funny because the industry's problems made fun of are essentially going to be our big villain of the show, the thing that's going to try and rip our couple apart. So to see the first episode already lay a foundation for us to start realising the disconnect with what's being done on the surface vs what's being truly displayed secretly shows us already this show is playing with the ideas of masks and the lengths it would take to actually survive in this world/industry portrayed in the show. The thing as well is we are watching this show through the lens of Gene; he's also someone who's become very disconnected with how he feels about the problematic elements of this industry vs how people want him to think about it; they want him to thrive off it, to use it for his ambition, to use it to make himself known. So already, we are also introduced to the theme of ambition and the theme of secrets. The characters are acting in a way to get something done for them, and yet they're hiding their truths to please something; the industry, a person of power, or just something they want. And that's fascinating already to start with. That's already going to be fun to unpack and write about.

I just really love how deep this show is already becoming; hidden with comedy and romance, we see depth, we see realism and calling out issues that we face in the real world concerning the BL genre, and still, we see yet, a love story brewing as well, it's a perfect combination. Or is it? And not to be so fully surprised, I did say that Tee is a great director, he made TharnType mean something to me, and that's because he hides his themes and his actual message behind layers and layers of subtext, he focuses on flaws of characters, but he makes them feel real, yet he also tackles real conversations about things that happen in real life and hides it behind a passionate romance and comedy. That's why this is so great for me. In already episode 1, Tee has shown up and done everything I knew he could do with Lovely Writer, and I am so freaking excited. The words are pouring out of me. Once the show started, I wanted to write, analyse and talk about this show. I wanted to bring to the surface the meta, the subtext, the foreshadowings and the character depth. I am truly ready for this show, and I hope you all are too. So episode 1, how were we introduced to the themes of the show so far; well, let's find out.

An Introduction to Ambition, Masks and Secrets

So the show starts off as a typical romantic comedy Bl; at first, you are like, it's funny they keep mentioning these little truths about the genre and the industry. It makes sense; we're seeing the story through the eye of a frustrated writer in the industry who has to do a lot to be part of it, so it is funny but also surreal to see the issues being brought up about the industry. Because of this, you know this show is meta. It's taking its self not seriously, but it's actually serious below the surface. So immediately, my sensors start to ping, could there be more depth to this story, are there hints showing us what to look out for, is there more to what Tee wants to say with this show. And actually, the first thing is the introduction to Aey. They mention him at first during the casting call discussion; the way they introduce him is interesting to me because I know he's an obstacle to our story. He's a love rival, and he's sneaky.

Aey is an interesting villain if you wanna call him that. He's obviously going to be a barrier, and you know, his smile on his face seems like a mask, not particularly for evil, just something he has to use to get his way. Just like Nubsib, he's faking an image, and we see his real face in the bathroom, this episode. Especially when he looks through some comments and tweets, which I don't know what it's about because there were no subs, but I'm guessing either mentioned his sexuality or how cute how he and Nubsib will be together or something else that pokes at his insecurity. Right now, he's ambitious, his thoughts are on succeeding, and so he acts docile, nice and friendly to get what he wants; however, we can see that the reason why he's right now trying to get Nubsib's attention isn't because of love; it's because of the job, of wanting to keep appearances, of knowing this would make him more successful, this will make them famous and please their growing shipping fandom.

That's the exciting thing; the question is, does he really like Nubsib or is he just faking it. Is there more to his connection with Nubsib? Also, just the fact that he's not a one-note character but he already seems to have layers is so exciting for me; this show is already doing what I hope it would do for me, it's being meta, secretive, smart, structured and still having comedy and romance on the surface. These characters all seem to have layers, truths hidden and interesting reasons for why they do what they do. That's fascinating to me. So because of that one scene where we see Aey almost break his mask and then go back to putting it on to please people and write on his social media, I'm already seeing the theme of ambition in this series. I see it in Gene, Nubsib (for Gene mostly), Aey, even Hin, who's a bit interesting with his own want to write and need to be noticed. Interesting.

The lengths our characters have to go through to achieve their ambitions might make them take on masks that they aren't particularly comfortable with, and also isn't an accurate display of their own values and truths but never the less they have to do this to achieve their ambition.

Gene: The Mask Of A Writer

We can see Gene isn't really a fan of BL writing and the tropes associated with it. In fact, he deplores it, he finds it hard to write about, and he doesn't think there's any substance to them. His focus is that what they portray is shallow, unimportant and toxic, just like how he sees the industry promoting them. It's why he's fine being an introvert; he feels safer in the confines of his home doing what he loves to do; writing, but he's decided, letting people in is not worth it. Mostly people from his industry who seem callous at times, greedy at best, and just corruptive. He disagrees with that and tends to want to distance himself from that. But what can he do? He wants to write, he wants to survive by doing what he loves to do, he wants to thrive in his job; however, he has to make sacrifices to get to that goal where he can comfortably write what he wants.

He's not really comfortable there, he wants to write something else (something with more depth, something with more understanding, something that makes him feel like him), but he can't, so he takes on a mask to keep on doing whatever he can for his ambition. Writing is all Gene seems to have, from constantly being tired, irritated, and too focused on it to even take care of the state of his house, of himself, and of his relationships. Nothing is more important than writing. That's his ambition, what makes him happy, what makes him safe, what makes him comfortable. And that's very relatable; as an introverted writer my self, Gene finds an escape from the real world when he puts his mind at work, and he creates however slowly, the love and excitement he has for writing are being shadowed by the lack of belonging he feels for the genre he has to write about. The moral conflicts, the uncomfortable topics and just overall the shallow results of his stories. They don't mean anything to him, just a way for ends meet. And that must be incredibly frustrating and tiring. Yet Gene has to do it to get his ambitions done.

That's why it's funny/important that Nubsib is invading his space. Nubsib's presence is showing up and unravelling Gene's masks, his truths, his reality. Nubsib is pushing Gene out of his act and making him question his ambition and truth. But also, in a way, Nubsib is providing depth for Gene for this genre as he starts to be truly inspired by his unknown attraction and connection to Nubsib.

The more the love becomes authentic, the more Gene starts to understand maybe why BLs might be written and why it might be loved by many fans because of that meaning of love that is portrayed when done correctly. So perhaps, Nubsib is making Gene realise more about the other side of things; maybe he offers a different perspective, especially since he's going to be one of those tropey BL characters.

Nubsib: The Mask Of A Lover

Nubsib is very much ambitious, he takes levels to make sure he gets to Gene, but also he hides his true self and wears a mask of two faces. Even his manager knows his real personality and says it; he's faking an image. He hides who he really is to Gene to come of nicer and sweeter, but also he does all of this to get his goal of making Gene trust him. Making Gene first think he's a good boy. Now, of course, immediately, I notice his two-faced behaviour. I see red flags; this isn't a healthy way to pursue a lover; it's full of lies, secrets and not truly knowing the real person's character. So are we going to unveil more about his intentions, why he's so invested in Gene and what he gains from doing all this, this way? Why is he so ready to ensure this time, Gene doesn't escape or that he doesn't lose his chance to finally be with Gene.

Acting doesn't seem to be his agenda; Gene is, you know, which is why you can feel already from the bat that he knows Gene before. He's pretending they haven't met before/, or he's seen something in him that's made him want to be near him; that's fascinating and interesting, that's the lengths he's taking; to wear a mask to get what he wants. It's interesting because, in a way, his lying, manipulation and secrecy is the opposite of what his presence is going to be for Gene in the show. Remember, he's meant to add authenticity to Gene's life, and love, and vulnerability, and so it's worrying because it's almost like Gene is falling in someone who he doesn't even honestly know. But this is just episode 1; as much as yes Nubsib is manipulative and secretive, I think there are things we'll get to see about him that's still authentic, at least for now; one of the things that stay true is his feelings for Gene, that's what's driving him, and Gene who has been so devoid of that connection maybe that's why Nubsib has to find a way to break down his walls in that way. We can see it's not easy for people to see Gene's vulnerable side. Nubsib makes him vulnerable, and maybe Nubsib knows this about Gene if they have met before; maybe he knows this is the only he can maybe try to make Gene notice him since Gene is so quick to run back home and throw himself into his world of writing. But is it okay? No, it's still manipulative and deceitful, but I think it's going to have consequences. And I can't wait to see how that unfolds. You also see some parts of when his masks fall, and that's concerning Aey, which is funny because I think they're the same type of people. This is why I'm intrigued by this show; they both will do whatever it is to get what they want.

Aey: The Mask Of An Actor

And then we have Aey; he's even more fascinating; he's pretending to like Nubsib for his own agenda. Even Nubsib can feel it. They've known each other for a while. They can read through each other's masks. That's why they have an interesting plot arc coming. The show does start by making note that he rarely would get a role this big because of his queer identity. Apparently, that's an issue/ problem with the industry (both in fiction and in reality, sadly). They think LGBTQ actors don't attract money if they're too 'queer', so Aey is determined to get success, notice and fame. He's already found ways to get to this point by overhearing Nubsib when he finds out about the audition. Nubsib is already known and supported by people. Aey may be different. Maybe he's had to struggle to be noticed.

In a way, he's doing all he can to ensure this works for him, but in order to do so, he also wears a mask and hides who he really is to everyone. In fact, the reason why he's chosen for the role is because even though he is queer, he doesn't seem like it. This is what was said in the show. The only person who seems to see him truly is Mhok, and that's an exciting development being hinted at. There's someone again who is connected to unravelling his mask and knowing his genuine authenticity. I think this is a big theme surrounding romance in this show. So Aey is going to be an interesting obstacle, just like Sib, everything that comes out from his mouth are lies to get what he wants, maybe even his smiles and fake niceties aren't truly his character; he seems devious (not in a negative way), he seems cunning, like he knows how to be one step ahead. This is probably what he's made himself become to be chosen, noticed and taken seriously. To get what he wants. This makes him a fascinating antagonist; I don't think he's a villain, just someone who has a fascinating character arc in the show. I can't wait to explore it.

Hin: The Mask Of A Follower

And then there's Hin. As much as he's chirpy and nice and friendly to Gene, he seems quite, I won't say jealous, but he does show he wants the chance and opportunities Gene has with writing. He asks the manager by text as the audition happens, to read his book and let him know if it's possible for publishing. It seems he tends to be overlooked; he's curious, wide-eyed, always looking positive, but what if this is also just a mask? What if we're gonna see more to this arc too. It'd be interesting to see if he'll feel annoyed at Gene complaining about having the opportunity he has to write BLs, when others may not be chosen the same way. But that's just a theory about Hin. If all the other characters are just as ambitious in getting what they want, what's to say, Hin wouldn't be later. What role would he play during the show's ending, perhaps just a supportive friend, a guide to help Gene deal with whatever comes, but it is interesting to know he also wants to write. My first thoughts always point to negative with that because it suggests rivalry. And I think rivalry is also an interesting theme, an occurrence that happens in the industry. So maybe there's more to him, or perhaps not.

So yeh ambition and masks and the lengths the characters would go to fulfil what's important to them in this show have been built up already. Most of our characters all share similarities of having to become or do something that doesn't pertain to the truth of who they really are. They see no choice in the matter; they have to do this to survive or to be happy. This industry is a competition, it's harsh, and you need adaptability, tough skin and methods to survive and get what you want. Especially since Lovely Writer is about the Acting industry as well. These characters all have to be actors somehow, Gene has to pretend he cares about BL, so he sells and makes it big, Nubsib has to pretend he doesn't know Gene, so he can win Gene's heart, Aey has to pretend he cares about Nubsib, so he becomes famous and supported by his fandom, and maybe even Hin has to pretend he's okay with following after Gene, so he can find opportunities to learn more about the industry and also find ways to publish his book. An interesting theme that occurs in real life. Obviously, as Gene and Sib fall for each other, those ambitions come out to the surface, become obstacles in the making, and they have to choose to sacrifice some of it for their love and happiness. One way or another, there's a consequence to not being who you are; somehow, the truth always comes out. Okay, let's do this show. Let's get to know these characters. I certainly can't wait.

#lovely writer #lovely writer the series #thai bl #bl series #bl drama #nubsib #cwg #nubsibgene #march #fvete

111 notes · View notes

amwritingmeta · 3 years

Text

15x19: A First Ending

This was a good episode! Oh, I know, I know - we didn’t get Cas back. But oh, boy, that should mean that Misha shot for five of eight days for 15x20 and that makes me want to rub my hands together with the hope of what that might mean. All the good things!

Oh, don’t hang your hopes on mine btw. I had very high hopes that we’d get Cas back, or very strongly established as coming back (as per 13x04) with a final scene of him waking up in the Empty or something like it, and that didn’t happen, but omg I’m so glad they didn’t.

When Jack started praying and reaching out to Cas my heart almost stopped.

If Dean doesn’t instigate Cas’ return, then oh it would take away too much!

But then Jack’s moment didn’t lead to anything, and now, the more I think about it, there more it feels like a plant. A reminder of how he prayed to Cas the last time, and woke him. We shall see, eh?

And then we got Dean telling Chuck to bring Cas back, which was a pivotal plant as well. I’d been worried if they hadn’t mentioned Cas more than once, with Dean telling Jack and Sam that Cas sacrificed himself to save him, yeah?

If there had been no more Cas for the entire episode then, narratively speaking, I would have started wondering what role Cas might actually play in 15x20.

But Cas was mentioned more than once. We even got to hear his voice and have that fake return to stir our... I almost wrote loins, but that’s not appropriate so let’s change it to stir our... martinis.

Ah yes. We could all use a drink, I’m sure.

The dog as well! Dean was so happy and he carried the dog and petted the dog and put it in Cas’ spot in the backseat and was all, yes, emotional substitute! And then... poof. Because it’s not going to be that easy to replace Cas. *fingers crossed*

Here’s mostly why I’m hopeful for something quite different as the actual finale of the show, the proper wrapping up of these character journeys:

This first ending is for those who have followed the show explicitly to watch these two brothers. (yes there’s a word for them but let’s not)

It ends exactly how these viewers -- and quite possibly the writers who wrote it -- always saw the show ending. It gives an emotionally satisfying wrapping up of all the thematic threads of the show and gives the brothers their hard-won freedom, and keeps the brothers riding in Baby, together, indefinitely.

And these viewers and fans will always be able to stop watching the show there and keep that as their perfect ending.

Except it’s not the ending-ending. Is it?

This episode neatly and gorgeously wrapped up the Michael/Lucifer/Chuck storyline. It wiped the slate completely clean. Especially with Michael killing Lucifer and Chuck killing Michael. These characters just completely annihilating each other because they’ve all served their purpose.

And Chuck being drained of his powers and ending up ignored, never to be worshipped again, or even remembered, is such a fitting ending for him! And with Dean refusing to kill him, leaving him to his fate, I’d call that Dean integrating his Shadow.

No more fearing it. It’s powerless. Thanks to Jack (Dean’s inner child) who now holds all the power in the universe.

I’d say Dean Winchester has reached a point of internal balance.

And for all of these good things: Chuck powerless, Jack the New God, surely helping to fix what Cas broke by restoring Heaven (I’m assuming Heaven will be repopulated or that God’s grace will level it out) and Jack stepping into shoes that Cas once tried to fill and failed to, to the detriment to so many of his kin, is simply stunning.

I cried, properly, at Jack’s speech. It was beautiful.

But for all these good things and wrappings up of stuff, didn’t the ending feel kind of superficial? Like stuff was missing in those final five minutes or so? Like... I don’t know... Sam mentioning Eileen maybe? Because surely she was brought back along with everyone else, and one episode ago he was losing his mind over the loss of her.

And they didn’t even mention Cas. Jack mentioned Castiel as a good influence, but Cas was just bunched in with “everyone we’ve lost along the way”.

Meh.

Hey, it’s fine if all you care about is Dean and Sam and you think that they’re at their happiest when they get to drive along a road in Baby, listening to tunes and play-fighting and reminiscing about all those people that have come and gone, while they know they’ll always remain the same.

I mean, if we hadn’t gotten that montage at the end of this episode (a fucking MONTAGE ppl) I would’ve started thinking that maybe Misha was coming back to shoot flashbacks for 15x20, as we got to see the brothers remembering Cas (like with Mary), taking a walk down memory lane and driving around to well-known locales for a final hurrah.

But we got that fucking montage, ppl.

Leaving me to feel that they probably won’t also spend forty minutes rememberembering those same people. You know?

Also, dull. And Dabb is anything but dull. And Dabb loves pulling on stuff he’s hinted at in the first ep of the season.

And I remember reacting to Sam being the one to escort the kid and her mother into the, what was it? The high school, right? For safety.

While Dean and Cas had that tense exchange by Baby, where Dean couldn’t not ask if Cas was okay and Cas saying, hopefully, that he was, but Dean remaining stone faced and distant. “Awkward” is what Belphegor called it.

Oh. Please let there be awkwardness in 15x20. I beg on bent knees. Beg, I say!

Anyway.

What is 15x20 going to be about if it isn’t about finally answering the question of what will make the brothers happy?

A balanced universe, of course! But freedom without love... sounds kind of lonely to me.

So, have they answered the question of What do I want? yet? Is this what they want for themselves? More of the same? This season has hinted that it isn’t. It’s hinted very strongly that it isn’t.

So, I’m holding my breath that Dean’s final confrontation is to do with happiness and daring to want it for himself. Daring to admit to wanting it for himself. Daring to go after it...

Cas does not belong in the Empty.

And hope that it’s telling how Jack didn’t even think to get Cas out of there and bring him home. God got Lucifer out of the Empty so Jack definitely has the power.

And Dean didn’t ask him to get Cas out of there, not because he doesn’t still want Cas out, but because it would ruin the first ending for the people who want Cas to stay dead. Yeah?

It’s kind of beautifully done, to my mind, as a nod and a thank you to the people who have supported one reading of the show. It’ll be difficult for them to go apeshit when Dabb and the writers can simply tell them they don’t have to watch further than 15x19 and be content that they’ve got an ending that lets them cling to the brothers as the begin all, end all.

And yes, I remain believing we will get Dean and Cas together-together before the end of the show. I have no clue how much of a together-together we’ll get, but for the show not to give us a clear understanding of how Dean loves Cas back is unthinkable at this point, and will stay unthinkable until the show tells me otherwise, because nothing but those two together makes even a lick of sense to me.

Dean’s feelings were in the subtext this episode because that’s where they always have been and hopefully fingers crossed because this ending wasn’t for us, it was for other sides of fandom, giving them room for denial, if they simply don’t want to see that what Dean wants is Cas back.

Our ending isn’t happening until next week.

Dean: It’s a helluva time to bail. There’s a lot of people counting on you. People with questions—they’re gonna need answers. Jack: The answers will be in each of them. Maybe not today, but someday.

For me this may be setting up for 15x20.

Dean could be said to be accepting the reality of Cas being gone this episode. He starts off not telling the whole truth about what happened with Cas (of course), he’s drinking himself stupid, he tries to demand of Chuck to bring Cas back, he finds that emotional crutch in the doggo and he moves into acceptance because what else can he do?

Especially if he’s still reeling and is struggling with his fear of happiness, with not feeling deserving, with it being easier to simply let it all go.

But.

Letting go of the need is healthy, allowing it to make way for the real want that is about choosing Cas, not because he feels lost without him, but because Cas completes him...

That would be something.

(oh shush let’s get with the romance) (Jerry always brings it)

The brothers love each other, but throughout this narrative there’s been hints that they both long for more. So much more. It would be so weird if it didn’t all wrap up with more being wanted and chosen and offered and had.

So if the answers are to be “in each of them -- someday”, then maybe Dean just needs to reach a moment where he’s ready to admit to himself that he can’t stand the fact that Cas died not knowing that Dean loves him back.

I wonder if Sam will push for this admittance... I’d like to witness that conversation, that’s for sure.

And Eileen. I hope she’s back sooner rather than later next episode!!

What’s next episode going to be about if it’s not about the breaking of old patterns to make way for new ones...? Are we going to follow the boys around as they do laundry and cook and make a few tentative plans for their unknown future? They won’t be hunting much in 15x20, at least if Dabb is anything to go by. I guess there might be something brief as a final The Boys With Their Weapons Doing Their Thing, but... it won’t be a case episode. And it would’ve been strange if it was, you know?

So then. Hope. One more week breathing eating sleeping on hopes and wishes and we shall simply have to wait and see what we get.

I have every faith it will blow us away, but I’m also sitting pretty. Reining in those horses lest they run away with me. And whatever comes our way, I’m so grateful for this show!

#spn meta #spn 15x19 #spn speculation #dean #cas #sam #jack #chuck #michael #lucifer #deancas #destiel #hopes and wishes

179 notes · View notes

franniebanana · 3 years

Text

CQL Rewatch - Ep 27

Note: I will be critical of Jiang Cheng in these posts. If you can’t handle that, please feel free to scroll on.

It's really interesting here that Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji that he has to save Wen Ning. I wonder if he even understands that that is precisely how Lan Wangji feels about him. I mean, I suppose it's different. Wei Wuxian also feels like he's indebted to Wen Ning, which he is because of what happened at Lotus Pier, but I also think there is the secondary reason that Wen Ning and the other Wens are being treated unfairly, and Wei Wuxian won't stand for that.

A lot of people see this as a romantic moment: Wei Wuxian saying that he'd be honored to be killed by Lan Wangji. I think rather than being romantic, it's just really sad. Lan Wangji doesn't want to fight with Wei Wuxian, and he certainly doesn't want to kill him. He wants to take him home and hide him so that no one can hurt him, because he loves him. So there's that. It's also sad because it's as if Lan Wangji's feelings haven't gotten through to Wei Wuxian at all. He must be feeling like, "What did I do wrong? Wasn't I clear enough? Did I not do enough to show him how I feel?" Obviously Lan Wangji didn't confess or anything, but it must be disappointing to hear that Wei Wuxian is fine being killed by him. Like, don't you understand that I would never kill you? Doesn't he understand that Lan Wangji is willing to break the rules for Wei Wuxian? He'd certainly never do that for anyone else.

This is a defining moment for Lan Wangji. If he followed the rules, if he followed what the other cultivators want, he would have fought with Wei Wuxian right here. In fact, if Wei Wuxian's expression is any indication, Wei Wuxian expected him to fight with him. He seemed to think that Lan Wangji's devotion to orthodoxy and the rules of his clan would have compelled him to stand in Wei Wuxian's way. I guess he didn't understand their relationship, that Lan Wangji values Wei Wuxian more than any rules or orthodoxy, that he values him as a man--a friend, a lover if the two of them could ever get on the same page. But Lan Wangji chooses Wei Wuxian here. He chooses to protect him by letting him go. He chooses to love him from a distance, at least knowing that Wei Wuxian is safe. He chooses to break the rules because his devotion to Wei Wuxian is stronger than any devotion he has for the orthodoxy of the other clans. The most heartbreaking thing for me is that old adage: if you love something, set it free. He loves Wei Wuxian, so he has to let him go. Standing in his way won't make him happy, taking him back to Gusu won't make him happy. There is, really, nothing Lan Wangji can do for him anymore. He failed. He couldn't save him. And that's what's so sad.

So...this scene kind of sucks for Jiang Cheng: they're all dragging out his dirty laundry. Really hammering home Jiang Cheng didn't really do his job in keeping Wei Wuxian in line. You can see he's struggling with the fact that Wei Wuxian is so close to him and yet completely out of his control, which, as a control freak, he absolutely HATES. The only way their relationship works peacefully is if Jiang Cheng maintains control. And clearly, after the banquet, he's totally lost control. I mean, even before that, Wei Wuxian wouldn't listen to him. But what is a little annoying here is that Jiang Cheng doesn't try to understand where Wei Wuxian is coming from, at least not at this point. Lan Wangji goes out to stop him or reason with him after the banquet, but where's Jiang Cheng? That's right! He's crushing cups in his hand! My feeling has always been (whether I practice this or not) that if you didn't try to do anything about it, then why should you get to complain? Jiang Cheng hasn't been there for Wei Wuxian. He hasn't tried to understand him, he hasn't tried to listen to his side of the story. All he's really tried to do is get Wei Wuxian to act normally. And I think Lan Wangji is guilty of this as well, except for the fact that Lan Wangji's motivation is to save and protect Wei Wuxian (because he loves him). What's Jiang Cheng's motivation? Control and power. His desire to look better than Wei Wuxian outweighs any sense of filial bonds.

The only person in the damn room (outside of MianMian) who will stand up for Wei Wuxian. Jin Guangshan spreading actual lies about Wei Wuxian, and no one in this room disagrees until Lan Wangji speaks up. And if anyone would have heard Wei Wuxian say anything about Jiang Cheng, it would have been Lan Wangji. He was with him just about the entire time. I honestly love this scene for a lot of reasons, but it's so hard watching Lan Wangji just sit, his lips pressed together, trying to stop himself from shouting back at these people. He can't say anything, though. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren are both there and he doesn't want to cause them trouble. But he's clearly incensed by what these people are saying about Wei Wuxian. And then they say, "Oh, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are close friends--he'll say anything to protect him." And I think that's true in this situation. Lan Wangji absolutely is on Wei Wuxian's side, even though what he did wronged the Jin Clan. So Lan Wangji can't refute that statement, and he knows that he can't argue against people who are just looking for a witch hunt. The Wens are all but gone, so now they need someone else to go after, someone else who isn't following the rules of the larger clans.

Poor MianMian, trying to use logic on a bunch of men who are just looking for a scapegoat. She's so right here, though, and I really don't think it's because she feels like she owes Wei Wuxian anything. I'm sure she's still grateful for what he did for her back in Xuanwu Cave, but I don't think that is what drives her to speak. She's one of the only female cultivators in this room right now, amongst a bunch of men who don't really know Wei Wuxian at all. Let's be honest, she barely knows him either. But even Jiang Cheng won't stand up for him! The only other person in the room who has defended Wei Wuxian was Lan Wangji. I think MianMian, like him, just wants to do what's right here. Wei Wuxian doesn't kill indiscriminately--he kills who is to blame for the atrocities against Wen Ning and the other Wens.

But the way they all attack her here is so disgusting. There aren't a lot of women in this show/novel, but the ones in it always make an impact. We get to see what it's like for a female cultivator in a seemingly male-dominated world. The immediately imply that she's only standing up for Wei Wuxian because she feels guilty about what happened to him in Xuanwu Cave. They make it about feelings, you know. They take the logic out of her argument and convince the room that it's her female emotions that are driving her statement. This is a character we haven't seen for quite some time, yet we all remember what happened to her, we all remember how he stood up for her, we all remember how she cried big tears for him. But here she is, several years later, a cultivator in her own right, and this room just sees her as that young girl who couldn't defend herself.

It sucks that Jiang Cheng is essentially being scolded here, in front of everyone, by Jin Guangshan. Seriously, it must be so humiliating. It's pretty clear what they are trying to do, though. They want him to tame Wei Wuxian or, if that's not possible, abandon him. They want to ostracize Wei Wuxian to the point that he's nothing with no power, whether that's as a member of the Jiang Clan or not. And Jiang Cheng just goes along with it. I mean, he has to, doesn't he? If he stands up to them and says that Wei Wuxian was right (if he believed that, which I don't think he does), then he'll be the one being ostracized. Obviously he can't have that. He's a new clan leader--he has to continue rebuilding to return his clan to its former glory. He really has no choice but to go along with Jin Guangshan and the other clan leaders here. That's not really correct--there is a choice. His clan or Wei Wuxian. And what would most clan leaders do in that situation? They aren't going to sacrifice their entire clan for one person, no matter who that person is.

His face throughout the whole thing: smirk. Seriously, it's like he's engineered this whole thing and he's just enjoying the evil villain-ness of it all. I just giggle every time they pan over to Jin Guangyao, because he always has this evil genius smirk on his face. Very entertaining.

On a side note, every time the Lans are shown, they look like they've just eaten something sour. They both look so uncomfortable with everything here. I'm sure they are the only ones who feel that these actions are questionable. But they also have taken some heat for what Lan Wangji did, likely, when he let Wei Wuxian go off with the Wen prisoners. Lan Qiren came out of seclusion for this meeting, but he says nothing. Lan Xichen seems mostly worried about Lan Wangji, who is obviously struggling.

Ugh, it's hard seeing Lan Wangji get scolded here. Obviously Lan Qiren is just worried about him! In CQL verse, he's raised Lan Wangji longer than his father ever did (well, in any verse, because even when his father was alive in the novel, he was in seclusion), so he's more of a son to Lan Qiren than a nephew. He's tried to be subtle, pushing the disciplines on Lan Wangji, making him recite and transcribe them over and over again--but that hasn't worked. He refuses to see that it doesn't matter what the rules are. Lan Wangji will break them because it's Wei Wuxian. It's a bit confusing in CQL, because I guess we're supposed to believe that Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are just best friends and that nothing more is going on. I realize this is A Thing and that it's believable that Lan Wangji would give up his life for Wei Wuxian as just a good friend, but when the book is so centered around Lan Wangji having romantic feelings for Wei Wuxian, that's a hard pill to swallow. Lan Wangji isn't doing all this because they are friends-he's doing all this because he loves Wei Wuxian. And part of novel!Lan Qiren's issues are that he knows what the other cultivators are saying--that they are questioning what a strange relationship Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have. But of course, primarily, he just wants Lan Wangji to stick to the disciplines and not end up like his father. Actually, imagine if Lan Wangji had brought Wei Wuxian back and locked him in a house. Yikes. ::smirk::

I love how Jin Zixuan grabs her arm and tells her not to go, and it's so tropey, but I love it so much! Why do they make my heart flutter? I don't know, but they do!! Even though I know how it turns out, I still love watching them fall in love, or rather, realizing that they love each other.

He seems upset here. Did he not think that this whole thing with his sister and Jin Zixuan was going to work out? Did he hope that she would stay in Lotus Pier forever? How selfish is he? We know that Wei Wuxian is extremely selfish about his shijie and also doesn't like Jin Zixuan, but Jiang Cheng has always rolled his eyes about that. So it's odd now that he's upset about his sister. I guess this means that he'll be very much alone, unless he can convince Wei Wuxian to come back to Lotus Pier with him.

Stop it. This kid is too cute. And I love him and want to protect him forever and ever and ever. Also this part about planting a child and growing more children is adorable. I just can't.

Jiang Cheng is so upset when he arrives. He sees that these are women, children, and elderly people, and not some evil Wen warriors ready to destroy the rest of the cultivation world. I think Jiang Cheng wanted to show up and be self-righteous, and take Wei Wuxian out of the mess he'd gotten himself into. So when he sees that Wei Wuxian actually did a good thing by rescuing these people, he finds that extremely irritating and it just makes him angry.

Also he's a dick to A-Yuan, telling him to get off. I won't forget this, mister!! The next stranger that A-Yuan grabs onto is not mean to him--uncomfortable, yes, but he isn't mean to him. I'm going to have to gif these two bits, side by side, how Jiang Cheng sneers at him and how Lan Wangji smiles down at him. Ugh, my heart.

The way that he behaves here, he's like a jilted lover. He barely even glances at Wen Qing--but she doesn't owe him anything. There was never anything between them, yet he treats her like she wronged him, when, in fact, she did quite the opposite. She didn't accept him as a lover--does that give him the right to treat her this way? It's so annoying.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | Or just check out the #CQL Rewatch hashtag

#wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #cql #the untamed #jiang cheng #jin zixuan #jiang yanli #wen qing #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #ep 27 #cql rewatch

19 notes · View notes

leofiat-bunny · 3 years

Text

No video this week. Software keeps crashing and I don't have the spoons to do battle.

On the flip side, it's full 2nd half thoughts so yay?

Ep 6 - Curly Guy

Game starts

curly guy provokes Leo and assaults Fiat

Leo loses his temper and gets banned from the rest of the match (I'm presuming basketball has something like this)

first Rick then An talk to Leo in the locker room

Natsu talks to Fiat who's outside on a bench

The team loses the game (badly)

The guys want to know what the hell just happened because that was NOT like Leo. And An seems to know something: she was adamant that they be supportive today.

Maybe Fiat wants the team to stop being mad at Leo, maybe his friends talk him into sharing. Either way Fiat tells some, maybe all, of the guys what's up with curly and we get the first of the episode's flasbacks, like in ep 4.

The crying on a bench flashback probably comes later in the ep, not as part of the explanation to friends.

Also in this ep is Leo looking defeated against the couch. He's trying to help Fiat with all of this but doesn't know how maybe? (I just want to use as much angsty previews as I can so we only have 1 more round of angst to go 😅)

Pob's worried about Jer. (The alternative is the orphanage, but I think that comes later.)

LeonPob have a cat in the carrier related excursion - trip to the vets?; Jer is fine

When Leon gets home, he sneak attack hugs his mum, who's just returned.

This is the hook for next ep

Ep 7 - The Parents' Return

We get more domesticity - Leo's back in his apron in the kitchen cooking. Fiat steals a bit of food and burns his mouth?

Leo's parents and Leon visit LeoFiat, and it's all warm families 😊 (with bickering children ofc... although maybe only when mum's not around)

Fiat gets in some worrying before they love that out of him - at least for a bit.

Leo has a chat with his mum at the main house. About Fiat? The orphanage? Leon? All of the above? 🤷‍♀️

Pob gets in some worrying about talking to Nadia about the orphanage. They have a chat. It's all good.

LeonPob date with finger kiss

This ep also has Leon watching Pob as he studies in the library

Also this ep is that girl's vitriol. For the sake of having something that isn't all sunshine and flowers.

But again, there's no actual problem there. Mostly it's softness as apology for ep 6.

Eps 8-10?

Pob starts dating Leon. He spends some time with Nadia as she prepares some food.

More domesticity

More micro developments in Fiat's bio family plotline

They have an away game - hence the black uniform (does it work like that in college basketball? 🤷‍♀️)

Generally doing really well in the tournament

Flashback to necklaces (this might be ep 12 instead)

Leo works his way through the rest of his list (the romance advice one)

Ep 10/11

Something happens at the orphanage. They need a LARGE amount of money and quickly. Either the something itself or the money required because of it prompt Pob's crying scene.

It might be more than even Leo's family can spare that easily, it might be that Pob is massively uncomfortable with the idea of asking them for even MORE money.

So they won't give the money directly, instead they will host a funddraiser to raise the money.

Fancy outfits fundraiser

This is probably around ep 10? Letting ep 11 be LeoFiat's big ep. Or the two could intersect, in which case fancy do is probably end ep 11?

I think the sleepover will be that night?

We probably also get an NC scene after because they like each other all dressed up

LeoFiat's plot is around Fiat's bio family. His mum returns, which leads to revelations??? We seem to be setting up a redemption arc for his dad but we have no information really 🙇‍♀️

Ep 12

They win a basketball match - presumably the final

Probably against curly's team again

Much celebrating commences

The fund raising was a total success and the orphanage will be fine

Leo rents out an ice rink for Fiat. And proposes(?)

Everything is wrapped up and it's all sunshine and roses

Maybe some sequel/spinoff bait at the end

Ep ???

Grace (Fiat's mum) returns.

Fiat's dad has something he hasn't been telling Fiat - this will lead to the season plot twist.

Leo cries. Fiat cries at least thrice more.

(After one of these times?) Fiat wakes up alone in the blue top. Downstairs he hugs Korn (Leo's dad) while ugly crying. The person making him unhappy is also there. Presumably one of Fiat's parents.

#leofiat #don't say no #don't say no speculation

9 notes · View notes

buddiebeginz · 3 years

Text

tw: child abuse/other references to abuse

Finally caught up to the current episodes of 911. I have a lot of thoughts on Buck and Maddie and their family situation from Buck Begins (and the episodes before it). From stuff I’ve seen around online I get the impression that most people loved Buck’s begin episode but it’s probably my least favorite of the show thus far along with Eddie’s ep. I love those characters but I don’t feel the show did their origin stories justice especially not when compared to the kinds of episodes the other characters had.

As for Buck’s story I was glad we were able to learn a lot of new information about his past, considering that was one of my big issues with Eddie’s ep that it felt like a lot of repetitive info we already knew. I’m glad we got to see what Buck’s life was like before he became a firefighter and learn more about his relationship with Maddie and that he had traveled a lot. Still as someone who grew up in an abusive home I feel like Buck’s origin story with his parents was handled pretty carelessly at points.

It’s kind of a common thing I’ve seen with shows though unfortunately. It just seems that most mainstream media doesn’t know how to handle abuse storylines (especially abusive parents) unless it’s storylines dealing with more commonly understood abuse like physical or sexual. If it’s abuse like Buck and Maddie endured where their life looked perfect on the surface but underneath there’s neglect and emotional abuse tv shows often give the parents an excuse (like they were grieving) and finds a way for the family to come back together at the end. Because they weren’t really “that bad”. But emotional abuse like Buck endured can sometimes be worse than physical.

It’s clear that Buck’s parents are toxic and that Maddie and Buck should both stay as far away from them as possible. I was really bothered by the scene with Buck and his parents at the firehouse. It felt like the show sort of absolved Buck’s parents of all their wrong doing and made it seem like they cared about him, like they always had when it was clear they never really did. They had him to save Daniel and when he couldn’t it’s obvious they resented him. I mean look at that whole thing with the baby box. That’s how little they cared about him. They didn’t even make a box to remember his important moments. Yes people can grow and change but they don’t do it over night and abusers rarely change.

I know there was a line Buck said (to Maddie) at the end about how he could forgive them because he’s never felt like he had a relationship with them in the first place so it didn’t really matter, which makes sense in theory but in real life that’s never how it is when you’ve grown up with abusive parents. You can try and detach yourself emotionally from them all you want but they’re still your parents, there’s still a part of you that will always hurt from never being loved the way you deserved by the people who were supposed to love you the most. Things like that don’t get wrapped up all nice and neat like like it felt like they tried to do with Buck and his parents. I am glad Buck got to express some of how he felt when they all had that dinner together but he definitely didn’t owe his parents forgiveness.

------------

The part I had the biggest issue with though was at the end when Buck went to see Maddie. Buck had every right to be angry and remain angry for awhile, at the very least Buck had a right to tell Maddie how he felt and express why he was angry and hurt by what she did and I felt like the show robbed him of that.

Buck walked in the door talking about how he had basically lashed out on Maddie because he knew that no matter what she would forgive him. It’s not Maddie who needed to do the forgiving it was Buck. Buck had trusted her his whole life. She had been like a defacto parent for all intents and purposes as his parents refused to be there for him the way he needed and now he finds out the one person in this world who has been a constant in his life (at least before he joined the 118) has lied to him about something huge. It makes sense he wouldn’t just shake that off. So for the show to just have him come in and act like everything is fine with him and Maddie I felt like was a huge problem and major disservice to Buck’s character and growth.

I’m not saying I didn’t want Maddie and Buck to make up, I definitely did. But Buck has never been good at putting his true feelings first and expressing himself. Buck has been selfish at times (plenty in season 1) but he has never been good about speaking up for what he needs and speaking truthfully to the people in his life about things he was dealing with. I mean he barely told Abby how he felt when he saw her again, he mostly stayed quiet and let her make it all about herself when he really should have been like “wtf why did you ghost me for no reason?”. Or when he didn’t tell everyone how hard he was pushing himself to go back to work and then developed a blood clot, or when he was scared to tell everyone he was seeing a therapist. He holds a lot back.

My point is if we’re supposed to be seeing Buck mature into a “better” version of himself he even said something about Buck 3.0 in a recent episode. How can that change happen if the show doesn’t let him evolve and let his relationships evolve. Even with the 118. I know they love him but I feel like they still see him as the hot headed screw up from season 1 sometimes. It’d be nice if they saw how much he’s grown too. (Not talking about Eddie. Eddie sees Buck more than anyone else does. He was the only one who told Buck he had every right to express how he felt and that he didn’t have to forgive his parents.)

Back to Maddie I think it was vital for Buck and for their relationship that we should have seen Buck tell her something like “it hurt that you kept that from me when you were the only family I ever really had (before the 118)”. I love Buck and Maddie’s relationship so I’m not saying I wanted some huge fight or for it to get drawn out on the show but I wanted Buck to express his pain and for him to call Maddie out on how wrongly she handled things. I know that she was also a victim of their parents abuse (not to mention everything with Doug) but that doesn’t absolve her from her lies to Buck once they both weren’t living with their parents anymore.

To be honest I don’t even understand why Maddie called her parents to come to LA. She said something about how because she has a baby on the way she wanted to reconnect with them but there is no connecting with people who are that toxic. And her need to connect with them shouldn’t have had to involve Buck if he didn’t want to see them. I definitely don’t understand why Maddie thought it was her place to tell their parents about Buck going to therapy especially without asking him. She told Buck that he should open up and tell them how he’s been feeling but like why? They clearly never cared about his feelings before and it was obvious when they all had dinner together they still don’t. At the dinner I didn’t like how Maddie seemed to be quiet most of the time or trying to just keep the peace with her parents vs standing up for Buck the way he did for her. At one point their mother got upset talking about the hospital and it sounded like she was going to talk about Daniel and Maddie stopped her. It’s like Maddie didn’t want the secret to get out to Buck either. Yet Maddie had no problem telling Chimney.

I’ve seen people saying stuff like no one better hate on Maddie. I don’t hate Maddie but I have a lot of issues with choices she made and the fact that it didn’t feel like she owned up to them to Buck at the end. It’s altered how I look at her and her relationship with Buck to a extent. Maddie lied to Buck even when she didn’t have to anymore. She told other people something that she should have only been telling Buck. She told her parents Buck’s business. She brought her parents to LA without asking Buck if he wanted to see them. She tried to excuse her parents by saying “they were grieving” . Grief is not an excuse to keep huge secrets from your children, to lie to them continually, and it’s definitely not an excuse to abuse your children.

I have empathy for what Buck’s whole family went through including his parents. I can’t imagine the kind of pain that parents would go through losing their child. But no child should have to bare the burden of their parents pain and that’s essentially what they made Maddie and Buck do.

I know this got pretty long but Buck is my favorite character I relate to him a lot, even more so after watching some of the current episodes. These eps about his family were just painful. I wanted to protect Buck because I felt like no one in his family was. I know what he was feeling in these episodes. Alone and unloved and like he couldn’t trust anyone and like no one in his family was on his side.

The whole montage at the end with Maddie and Buck which was supposed to tug on our hearts and remind us of this great bond they share as siblings ended up feeling kind of hollow to me. I think it could have been a beautiful scene if the show had used it after allowing them to talk about what had happened. It would have shown all they had been through and how they had grown and were moving forward. That they were all the (biological) family they needed and their parents didn’t matter. But since the show didn’t allow that kind of recognition the montage felt more like the show was saying we’re just going to sweep all that drama under the rug now it’s over and done with, here’s some pretty pictures. You don’t instantly move on from knowing someone you trusted lied to you your whole life. I just really wish the show would have done better for Buck in these episodes and better with telling a storyline about abuse. I know this is probably an unpopular opinion but I just felt like I needed to rant about it. If you made it down this far thanks for reading. 💗

#please do not send hate if you disagree #911 fox #evan buckley #buck #buck begins #911 s4*#911 4x05 #911 4x04 #long post #buck and maddie #buck s4 #tw: child abuse #tw: abuse #911!

35 notes · View notes

watchinglikeafangirl · 3 years

Text

Light on me Ep 3&4

These two episodes very much convinced me to stay because I wasn't sure last week. But thankfully, we made a lot of progress with the characters and got more of their personalities. I am pretty fascinated by the way this drama plays out. Tae-Gyeong is a very interesting character who can read people like a book apparently. He likes to be honest but at the same time, he just reacts when people tell and ask him stuff. Like he doesn't really care nor mean it but feels the pressure of others watching him and waiting for an answer, so he reacts in some way. Agreeing to things he doesn't want to attend, like the blind date, and then making it awkward because he is awkward. He has the talent to express his emotions on point and his surroundings are either irritated or feel his emotions as well. I, as the audience, feel how his emotions are being projected onto me. And this is pretty fascinating to me and the reason why I will watch until the very end, no matter how the story will turn out, because I'm super impressed by that strategy an how well it works.

A character that fascinates me even more and makes me curious is Da-On. Tae-Gyeong can't read him, so I don't know much as well, but he gives me the vibe of a broken man, or at lest someone who pretends a lot.

He's not his real self at all and that makes me sad, just like Tae-Gyeong. I think Da-On feels the pressure of living up to expectations. He build up this image of being the nice kid who is always there to help out, so the people know what to expect from him, but he changed over the years or simply is not like that. This week, we see his vulnerability. He is annoyed and very stressed out about people coming and contacting him. Even when he doesn't have fun, he pretends he does and stays extremely nice which comes across as pretty creepy. He smiles very very much and you can tell, he just wants to cover up some parts of himself. The motto "What's good is good" sounds toxic for him and it's a pressure he puts on himself. I think that's why he doesn't want to brag about being a top student. That would mean he wouldn't have enough time for others because of studying. He's not proud to hear "he's oficially a nerd" (this is not a quote).

President Sin Da-On smiled, but I'm not sure if being nice to everyone is really a good thing, so I didn't smile back.

I would say, for Tae-Gyeong, Da-On is just a friend. He sees some true colors of Da-On and he knows Da-On rarely opens up, so he worships this newly found friendship, but I don't think he sees more in their relationship than just that. And I am not quite sure, if Da-On really has a crush on Tae-Gyeong. Tae-Gyeong is just what he wishes to be: honest. Showing honesty is tough for Da-On and he would rather live a miserable life than confess his unhappyness. This could maybe origin from his home, we don't know about his parents yet. What I just wanted to say is, I think Da-On and Tae-Gyeong find each other interesting because the other is what each wants to be. Tae-Gyeong wants to be nice to people, so he will make friends, and Da-On wants to be more honest, so he will be able to let everyone knwo his true self. As of right now, Da-On hides his true intentions pretty good, but Tae-Gyeong noticed them when they were on this blind date.

First, Da-On sits next to So Hee.

But after Tae-Gyeong say this:

Da-On does this:

Just so he won't have to sit next to the annoying So Hee. Later, he gets rid of her again. She makes him uncomfortable because she reminds him of all the fakery he is.

Let's get to Shin-Woo who couldn't be more obvious. He likes to tease Tae-Gyeong because he knows Tae-Gyeong won't stop reaching out and try to fix their broken bond.

I really don't like you!

He's just fine with pretending he just doesn't like Tae-Gyeong's persona without a particular reason. This way it's a lot easier for him to handle. He's probably overwhelmed by his feelings as well and still tries to deny them somehow, so he calls Tae-Gyeong "ugly" (he didn't use that word I think). His reaction to Da-On calling Tae-Gyeong "beautiful" was priceless. One (and I mean me) can interpret this into Da-On more or less being Shin-Woo's voice and encouraging him to stop denying his feelings. Yes, Da-On verifies, he himself got some feelings there, so Shin-Woo gets jealous, but that happens later on. Here, it more or less seems like Shin-Woo was caught in a lie which makes him cough because he's shocked. Scared to reveal his feelings out of the fear to chase Tae-Gyeong away, he chose to keep a distance.

Then the incident happens and since Tae-Gyeong helped him and saved him from any more harm without hesitation, he can't just go away. Tae-Gyeong helps Shin-Woo even though he pushes him away. This clearly shows Tae-Gyeong wants to know more about Shin-Woo, but Shin-Woo still doesn't know how to handle this kind of attention. He just turns defensive and shy, sticking to his original plan.

I think I don't have to insert a picture of the phonecall scene here. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. The scene is filled with confusion, awkward silence, a change of minds and something very warm-hearted. It is very nice to see these two being really confused what to do with this new situation they don't dislike but just don't know what it is. And the phonecall ends as random as it started with Shin-Woo panicing and Tae-Gyeong wondering what this nice feeling is.

Did you guys just greet each other?

Since the incident caused some icebreaking between them but they still don't kow how to handle their emotions - especially Shin-Woo - their interactions are funny but nearly hurt. It's very much cringe, but the good one.

I love this show so far. It has interesting and relatable characters. I sometimes feel like Da-On, like I'm just pretending to be nice but then I remind myself, I still give others a lot about myself. It's mostly not the whole me, but everyone gets parts of it, so me being nice is never really fake. So yeah, you know, I can relate to him in that matter.

#light on me

12 notes · View notes

newmusickarl · 3 years

Video

youtube

Album & EP Recommendations

My word, the music world has well and truly spoiled us this week!

The past seven days has seen a colossal avalanche of new releases, so much so I’ve barely had chance to keep up with it all. Although this is not the full list of everything from the past seven days, here are the 16 (yes, 16!) new releases I’ve enjoyed the most this week.

As there is so much to get through the rundowns are (mostly) a bit shorter than normal and there is no single Album of the Week, instead I simply recommend checking out whichever album or track sounds most appealing depending on your preferred taste.

So without further ado then, here’s what’s good:

Californian Soil by London Grammar

It’s been four years since the release of London Grammar’s last record Truth Is A Beautiful Thing - an album that I enjoyed, but I’ll admit also left me feeling somewhat underwhelmed coming off the back of their incredible breakout debut, If You Wait. As it turns out, the band themselves were also having a tough time around that period, with front woman Hannah Reid in particular battling relentless industry sexism, as well as the persistent physical pain caused by her fibromyalgia condition. With this being the case, it is amazing that the young indie-pop trio have made it to their third album at all, let alone delivering what is their best work to date.

Opening on a grand, string-drenched Intro, the record soon morphs into the sun-soaked guitars and soaring orchestration of the album’s glorious title track. It marks an early highlight as Reid catches the audience up with the tribulations of the last few years – “I left my soul on Californian soil.” From there the album doesn’t really let up as the band move through a series of career-defining tracks – the gorgeous contemporary groove of Missing, the dance-influenced How Does It Feel, the chilled-out ambience of the dreamy Baby, It’s You and the sublime, stripped-back closer America.

However, the album’s strongest moment comes when Reid confronts music industry sexism head on with defiant anthem Lord It’s A Feeling. Beginning with some twinkly xylophone, before evolving into an atmospheric synth-laced backdrop where Reid pulls no punches:

“I saw the way you made her feel, like she should be somebody else,

I know you think the stars align for you and not for her as well,

I undеrstand, I can admit that I have felt those things mysеlf”

The cutting lyrics against some blinding quiet rave instrumentation leaves quite the impression, as does this sterling record in general. After a slight misstep, London Grammar have well and truly rediscovered themselves and they have honestly never sounded better – a truly incredible album.

If You Could Have It All Again by Low Island

Oxford electo-pop outfit Low Island are another band that have defied expectations to get to this point. This, their debut album, was not recorded in a professional music studio – in fact, the vocals were recorded in a bedroom cupboard of all places. The band themselves don’t even have a manager or a record label. In every sense of the word, they are a truly independent band. For a self-financed, self-produced effort, If You Could Have It All Again is a quite remarkable first outing.

From melodic, uplifting opener Hey Man, the record quickly jumps into spoken word electro punk banger What Do You Stand For, featuring acid-drenched synths and a dancefloor-ready groove. Fans of FIFA 21 will recall Don’t Let the Light In, with the glitchy pulse of recent single Who’s Having the Greatest Time also standing out. That said, it’s the smooth, infectious sway of I Do It For You that still pulls me in the most.

Having followed the band since their early EPs, I’ve been rooting for Low Island for a while now and this is one debut album I was highly anticipating this year. Safe to say, my expectations have been met – this is a fantastic, accomplished record, which leaves me eager to see where they go next.

The Greatest Mistake Of My Life by Holding Absence

There was a time when the difficult second album used to be a thing, but listening to the sophomore effort from Welsh rock band Holding Absence this week, I’m really not sure that exists anymore. After a dramatic and impressive self-titled debut two years ago, the band have wasted little time taking things up a notch, with this new album cinematic and masterfully produced from beginning to end.

From standout singalong anthems like Afterlife and In Circles, to the album’s epic seven-minute penultimate track Mourning Song, The Greatest Mistake of My Life shows a band pushing themselves and driving forward with ambition at every opportunity. In a year packed with outstanding rock and metal albums already, this is most definitely another one you can add onto that list. Soaring, impressive and demanding of repeat listens.

We Forgot We Were Dreaming by Saint Raymond

It’s been six long years since Nottingham-born singer-songwriter Callum Burrows, AKA Saint Raymond, released his debut album. However it seems the time away has been well spent as this long-awaited follow-up finds Burrows in fine form, with this album packed to the brim with catchy, glossily produced indie-pop anthems.

From the brilliant title track that opens the record, to the bouncy riffs of Right Way Round, Talk and Solid Gold, to more subdued and heartfelt moments like Only You, this album will have you smiling, singing your heart out and dancing your troubles away.

Flu Game by AJ Tracey

AJ Tracey may have only been three years old when Michael Jordan was winning NBA championships with the Chicago Bulls, but that hasn’t stopped him making a record influenced by the legendary icon and his famous 1997 Flu Game. Like many others including myself, grime superstar AJ Tracey spent lockdown watching the brilliant The Last Dance documentary, and this record weirdly works as a fantastic unofficial companion, but also just a great summer rap record.

McCartney III Imagined by Paul McCartney

Even if like me you completely missed Sir Paul McCartney’s 2020 album McCartney III, it’s well worth checking out this reimagining, where he has called on the help of some of his famous musician pals. This is a real who’s who line up of guest features including Beck, Khurangbin, St. Vincent, Blood Orange, Phoebe Bridgers, Damon Albarn, Josh Homme, Anderson .Paak and more, making for quite a fascinating mix of sounds and styles.

Moratorium (Broadcasts from The Interruption) by Enter Shikari

And finally on the albums front this week, genre-benders Enter Shikari have released a brilliant compilation of all their lockdown live performances, headlined by an incredible string-tinged acoustic version of The Dreamer’s Hotel and a beautifully stripped-back “At Home” rendition of Live Outside.

Tracks of the Week

Introvert by Little Simz

Wow, wow and wow again. Still fairly fresh off the back of her masterful, Mercury Prize nominated third album Grey Area, this week British rapper Little Simz released the first taste of her next record in the form of this epic and triumphant opening track. At six minutes in length, this majestic and operatic political anthem aims to grab the listener by the collar and shake them awake. Without a doubt, one of the best songs of the year so far, the powerful video for which you can view above.

Smile by Wolf Alice

The second taste of their forthcoming album Blue Weekend, Smile continues Wolf Alice’s pattern for alternating Loud/Soft releases, with this one featuring buzzy guitars, punky vocals and a hypnotic chorus melody.

Beautiful Beaches by James

Although written off the back of the California wildfires that impacted front man Tim Booth’s local community, the lyrics on the band’s latest anthem purposefully offer a dual meaning, giving hope to those dreaming of a post-lockdown getaway and fresh start.

He Said She Said by CHVRCHES

The Scottish trio made their much-anticipated return this week, with Lauren Mayberry also sharing her experiences of sexism on this arena-ready synth-pop banger.

Matty Healy by Georgia Twinn

Georgia Twinn delivers an infectiously catchy break-up anthem, inspired by an ex-boyfriend, who’s most interesting feature was supposedly looking like the 1975 frontman.

Kill It by Vukovi

Underground Scottish rock outfit Vukovi’s new single is so good, they even managed to get KILL IT trending over the weekend of its release. Masterfully produced with big bold riffs and trancey synths, this one just sounds huge.

Can’t Carry On by Gruff Rhys

The latest solo single from the former Super Furry Animals frontman is a stunning, super-melodic tune with an instant chorus you’ll be singing before the track has even finished its first play.

Ceremony by Deftones

One of the highlights off their last album Ohms, the nu-metal rockers have now delivered a cinematic new video directed by horror legend Leigh Whannell. Check it out!

Chasing Birds by Foo Fighters

And finally this week, Dave Grohl and company released a trippy new animated video for this Medicine At Midnight cut to help celebrate 420 in their own unique way. Again, well worth a watch!

24 notes · View notes