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#when he gets mad he expresses it and honestly he's valid for it sometimes people are dumb bitches and need to hear it. but apparently some
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sorry for diary posting so much on main but this is the last one today prommy
#it's in the tags anyway so#SO#i didn't go get my masters. or rlly try for a phd because i felt like i was bad at school right#(because i failed two classes in freshman year and i'd never ever done that before)#(and i failed those because. my meds made it very difficult for me to retain any information/make memories or whatever)#and it was just so WEIRD and i felt so dumb because never in my life had i been bad at school before like that#so that kind of killed my general confidence in academia#so even tho i got into a decent program i just decided to go work instead#(and yes a big part of it is that my current job is awesome and i didn't know if i'd get this kind of opportunity again)#and i kind of just realized#the last year and a half have LITERALLY JUST BEEN SCHOOL#OR WHAT A MASTERS PROGRAM WOULD BE LIKE#sort of. like an engineering masters.#except technically i have come up with new stuff too it's just operational and not research#but i spent the last year and a half learning something completely new that i knew nothing about at all.#and i've been teaching classes while i was learning and taking exams#and my exams went WELL#the last oral exam i had my evaluator told me it was the best one he'd seen#i went to talk to one of my senior instructors recently about the last big class i taught to become certified#to fucking important ass terrifyingly smart people#and he told me i was a model for all new people and i did super well#and then he told me not to tell anyone he said that because he didn't want people to think he was a softie#(he's a gigantic softie. i can't believe people are scared of him)#when he gets mad he expresses it and honestly he's valid for it sometimes people are dumb bitches and need to hear it. but apparently some#oh that's a tangent. anyways. if i can do this i can probably go back to academia right...#and jesus fuck girl it doesn't have to be mit. it can be a normal school#i can Lower my Standards because they aren't about to lower theirs. haha but what if.... anyways im gonna stick with the same major as my#bachelors cause i did actually enjoy it. and aerospace is boring in comparison. and i wanna figure out how to keep people alive both in#space AND under the ocean. at pressures we were never meant to survive at! Now THAT' would be fun.
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obae-me · 1 month
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Omg Hi!!! It has been so long since I have seen you on my dash! How are you doing love? I hope you are doing super well ^.^ I recently saw your Mc with trauma post. I loved it so much, and it has also given me a lot to mull over the past few days lol.
Honestly I love the idea of a traumatized Mc and the brothers feeling like absolute shit for the way they treated them in the beginning... but yk another part of me wonders when I imagine my own traumas in that scenario... that for people (the bros- literal demons) who have faced so many things and traumas in their own lives, whether my feelings or pain is even comparable to that. Ik you can't compare things like that and the brothers would probably even be mad if I think of my feelings this way since it's the "Ohhhh someone always has it worse. It's not even that bad so just suck it up" self-deprecating part of me. Despite knowing ALL THAT I can't help but think that I am not traumatized enough to deserve empathy lmao (I realize how stupid it sounds saying it out loud).
So that is what REALLY got me thinking. What about an Mc that is genuinely terrified of scrutiny, being a nuisance and just basically inconveniencing anyone for things that are just basic needs. Idk if I am explaining it well enough oof and a mc like that (like me lmao) certainly won't bode well with Lucifer. Atleast not in the beginning. I could hate him (I could never but if I did) but still be terrified of disappointing him. This is what I mean when I say I love him but he reminds me too much of my father habits wise 🤢.
I am thinking a Mc who is afraid of asking even their basic needs at the beginning once Lucifer mumbled about them being too much trouble. Mc who feels so extremely guilty when the brothers get anything for them, cuz they feel like they have to work for it or they don't deserve it. Mc whose blood freezes over when they break something and try to replace it as quick as possible so no one blames them. Mc who never expresses their concerns so as to not add to the brothers' already full plates or worry them. It hurts to bottle it all up but seeing the brothers' concerned faces with so much PITY is a thousand times worse. Mc who never complains and adjusts to even unfair situations so as to not be a bother. Mc who just takes, takes and takes everything bad and doesn't say a word cuz they feel like they deserve it. Mc who tells little white lies to hide their flaws and be the perfect exchange student and avoid scoldings and criticisms ; only to stew in shame, disgust, self-loathing when someone eventually catches up on one of the lies (the person probably didn't even make a big deal of it/ was only mildly disappointed but Mc feels their heart breaking in two as they think they have broken their trust forever and would never be trusted again)
Gosh this got way longer than I was expecting >.< and a lot of signs like these aren't really obvious until you are close to that person. I think so many of us are so hard and rutheless to ourselves when sometimes the thing we need the most is a little compassion and understanding ;-;
Hi! I love seeing you in my inbox and thank you! I've been in recovery mode for the last few months but am finally coming back out of that cave and working on my hobbies again (seriously going too long without writing almost feels like going without food for me)! I hope you've been doing well too!
And oof, yes, I understand what you're saying completely. I'm like that too in a lot of ways, keeping certain details or complaints to myself because "Oh surely what I've been to is really nothing". And sometimes I let something slip and people get very concerned. Which is validating in a way, not that I need to be validated for it, everyone goes through their own pain and awful things SUCK no matter to what extent it is and I've had to learn that through my life.
(Wow that MC really is just me, huh? Calling me out are you? /j)
Honestly this type of MC is just canon to me. (I mean, the more pithy responses the MC has in original OM might just be due to writing but to me it just seems like the calm and general response of someone throwing out NPC answers as a survival tactic.)
They suck things up and soak up everything that's been said to them and work hard to remain a normal functioning being.
And of course Lucifer is an interesting character to think about with this MC because on one hand the human could absolutely despise him for the way he treats them. Or on the other hand (if you're like me I guess, which I realize is hella unhealthy, oops) the MC could look up to him and work extra hard to try to gain his validation, because getting praise from someone like that means you must not be a failure, right?
And just...the dynamic of that is so appealing to me, because Lucifer loves when people work hard and do what they're told, but then if he finally comes to the realization that they're burning out and actually almost putting themselves in more danger and harm because of HIM? And at the end of the day he's doing more damage than any of his chaotic brothers? (I like to have him spiral and be humbled just a bit)
Just all of the brothers doing some deep introspection once they come to care for MC and needing to sit down and realize that probably made their human feel so much worse and then spending the rest of eternity trying to fix that. And then the "I can fix him" mentality from MC turns into the "I can fix them" from every other character. A special Uno Reverse, if you will.
Oops, this turned into a fairly long ramble of my own...
Thanks for popping into my inbox with your thoughts! Traumatized MC deserves some extreme love
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xo-cuteplosion-xo · 2 years
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"It's okay to not be okay"
My works on Tumblr are here
Synopsis: 
(Headcannons)
A little comfort for a reader struggling at home, with family, and just self-worth all around.
Character(s): 
Dazai
Warnings:
Self-indulgent a bit
Uhhh mentions toxic surroundings?
Mentions of suicidal jokes/thoughts
Mentions of comparing Trauma
Words: 
642
He notices something wrong almost immediately
When you're less there in the present, spacing out and looking down at your phone
Of course, he’d always made note of the flight response, the blank looks, or the tired expressions
How there were always times when the slightest bit of aggravation from him could make you go rigid and look around as if trying to figure out the many ways to diffuse the situation.
He’d never take out frustrations on you, you were perfect in his eyes.
Sure, you weren't always happy, but you understood him in ways others couldn’t
The jokes that you’d return, the way you’d jump in to brainstorm ways to commit the act of a double suicide.
He’d eventually start to worry, no, he’d always been a bit worried about you.
At least with you, he could never tell when you were serious, or simply joking about the state of your mind.
“Y/n you alright?” 
It’s the constant responses 
 Yeah, why? 
Of course, ya silly idiot.
Why wouldn’t I be?
I have nothing to not be okay about.
I have you and our friends, why wouldn’t I be?
Did I do something to make you think that?
He wasn’t sure if those responses had been learned, but he didn’t care.
He still asked, over and over again.
Until that answer changed one day 
“No… not really…”
He was beside you without hesitation. 
His arms comforted you as they wrapped around you and pulled your head to his chest.
“What’s wrong dove?”
“It’s stupid, honestly there’s no reason for me to feel like this!”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, just tired. Like I could rest for years and never not be tired. I just… sometimes I wonder why I’m here. What the point of it all is. I don’t have the right though, look how blessed I am.”
“Hey… hey now. Don’t say that you don’t have the right. Even the smallest of traumas are enough to change the way we are.”
“It’s not though, I had great parents, some people get beat, but they never hurt me… I mean sure their words hurt and they got mad all the time for the stupidest shit, but… they never hurt me.”
“Verbal abuse can hurt just as much or even more than physical hurt, you know that right?”
He hated seeing the breaking point, had seen signs for years, but he’d never had you come to him.
Have you ever opened up to anybody before?
“I just want it to go away… I feel fine some days, hell I feel so happy I wonder if I may be high… but then hours later I just wanna sleep… but that’s just lazy, people live and work with depression, but I can't even get my ass out of bed.”
“Was that what they called you? Lazy? Because you’re not. You're fighting a battle harder than any battle you’ll ever fight in your life. If all you did was get up once, that’s an accomplishment, love. If all you managed to do was eat just one small bite, that is just as big an accomplishment. You are worthy of love, and what you’ve gone through affected you. Don’t de-validate yourself like this… please.”
He hoped that even if you didn’t take his words, because he knew that there’s no such thing as a quick fix, you’d be a little better, even if only by a pinch. There are people who care, and who are there to listen and help. Comparing trauma isn’t fair, and the people who put the idea that because you never experienced something “worthy” of such traumatic backlash to your brain, are idiots. 
“Why don’t I help you take a bubble bath, and then I'll order us something. We can cuddle and watch stupid rom-coms. That sound nice?”
“Yeah… it does.”
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ladyelain · 2 years
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lucien stans made a lot of us dislike him because a lot of his stans with well known accounts talk sh*t about feyre frequently because of their distraught friendship and history. i loved lucien until i read what his stans (who some also stan tamlin) had to say about feyre due to their issues in acowar and acofas. lucien is quite babied in this fandom and constantly victimize him when it comes to his friendship with feyre and how it’s always “she could’ve” instead of “he should’ve” they both made mistakes but out of the two if i’m really going to judge lucien disappointed me more in their friendship and then he was surprised she didn’t favor him the way she used to when he already proved that he’s rarely put her first. he even feels worse about spring falling than about what happened to both of them when they were there. they were having growth after acowar and he took 10 steps back by throwing her taking down spring in her face after she’s already expressed remorse for what happened to the people there when hybern ruined their homes.
First off, I’m not a fan of using Eluciens/Elriels/Gwynriels or even Lucien stans as generic terms for everybody and their mother when it comes to explicit, opinionated discourses around one character or ship.
It’s exactly what made the fandom so overly sensitive about everything in the first place. We keep blaming individuals for things they’ve literally never said, sometimes not even heard of. I mean, imagine being called an Elain stan because you like Elain… It’s the last group I’d want to be associated with in this fandom lol.
Just like I don’t identify at all with the whole pinning Feyre up against Lucien. Especially not Feyre and Lucien. They’re my babies and if I am babying them rn, then so be it. Not to defend myself here, I just feel like pointing out I’ve made posts trying to explain Feyre’s perspective and why she’s totally right having negative associations connected to Lucien. Though I am aware people are throwing shade at Feyre, using the points you made above.
Lucien and Feyre’s friendship failed for several reasons, the main thing being miscommunication which lead to mistrust. Not because they had nothing to address to the other, but because the circumstances didn’t allow for them to open up. It’s debatable whether they just gave up on each other after the war because they both found their people, or whether they need time and space still. Either way is totally valid.
I always try to put everything in perspective and context, and to me, Feyre and Lucien’s outfall in acofas seemed absolutely realistic. Their awkward behaviour also feels reasonable after everything they’ve been through. It’s nothing that couldn’t ever be fixed though. When Elucien happens, there will also be a Feycien comeback, I’m convinced. Their dialogues are just too iconic to not bring them back.
Feyre receives so much hate that isn’t even about Lucien because she seems to be in a better place than everybody else and that’s usually something people get bored of and eventually mad about. Honestly, in acofas she could have been the bigger person. Bringing up the Band of Exiles was a low blow. She made fun of them because she obviously feels betrayed and doesn’t quite understand where their friendship came from. Feyre wants everyone around her happy, yet there’s only so much she can do. Sometimes she’s just too much of a busybody.
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thisdreamplace · 1 year
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What do you think of confrontation? All of my life I have been scared of expressing myself when something bothers me. I always remained silent. When I found the law, I was relieved because "oh, I don't need to express anything, I can stay quiet and just imagine things changed and everything will fall into place" i felt comfortable with that, but I knew deep down that there were many times where I wanted to speak, but felt like it was useless or was going to "ruin" my manifestations. I usually have moments where I wish I had reassurance but never feel the right to ask for it. Watching Dylan James was a safe space because he talks a lot about non-confrontation and I think he's right about most of it but... confrontation is normal I guess and may be needed??? Idk.
The point is, I recently had a discussion with my "SP", with him it's been a never ending story of on and off communication. He always ghosted me and then I would "manifest" him back, blah blah. Yesterday I was so triggered and this time instead of keeping it to myself, I basically told him everything that I was feeling. And like, yes it didn't solve anything, but it felt so right to finally defend myself. To finally feel like I had the right to speak. I ended up apologizing because I recognized it was all a response coming from a trigger. I did not regret saying what I said tho. What I did feel bad for, was because I started the drama out of nowhere because I was spiralling, I honestly had no real motives. He ended up getting mad and like, it does make me sad, but at the same time why would I want something to do with someone with whom I can't express myself with? I get it that maybe I could see this from a different perspective, but... right now, in this moment, what I know for sure is that I don't want this kind relationship in my life. I deserve better. I also deserve to be better for myself and find more validation within rather than waiting for someone to give it to me.
This felt like the beginning of me being more true to myself.
okay by the end of this i was SCREAMING YESSSSSSSSS ANON YESSSSSS. all of this.
i had a similiar experience last year, actually, creepily similiar. because i too, was like, always really into dj and his perspective on things. and then suddenly i was like well wait a minute. what if i did speak my mind and start standing my ground ? i think its such a slippery slope. because i think some people can do the non-confrontational thing and thrive. but for me it made things fester inside of me, resentment would grow, and i would kind of just gaslight myself along the way about how i need to be more understanding of bs. anyway, for me it began with a friend though. and it was hard and difficult, and it didnt go the way i wanted it to because just like in your case, they reacted more defensively than openly. and sometimes, i get waves of "did i truly handle that well ? was it right for me to open up and finally say how i feel ?" and im like yeah. absolutely. for the exact same reasons you realized. i also don't want to be in relationships where we can't have open communication and actually be open enough to want to move forward together. and funny thing is, after that whole thing collapsed, i literally met someone who knows how to have healthy communication, to the point where i was challenged and i had to, and have to, actively work on being a better communicator and being aware of my triggers. knowing how to express them well, rather than shutting down or feeling too scared to because of the conditioning of my past. and theres so much space held for me now, for expressing myself authentically and openly. that sometimes i dont even know how to act, LOL its been wonderful but so terrifying at times. and i absolutely love it tbh. its so beautiful here and its lovely to be experiencing so much love like this.
i guess i say all this to say that you absolutely did the right thing. following your heart, being true to you, will always be the truest and most right thing. and even if that includes confrontation, then so be it. you will see how there are people in the world who are going to hold space for you and be so open to the way you authentically express yourself. now that you finally realize it, the world is realizing it too. what a lovely beginning <3
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mavspeed · 2 years
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Heyo! Just wanted to come thank you again for the awesome chapter and wish you well. I was completely blown away by chapter 7 and the way you keep giving these little pieces of the puzzle that is IceMav’s relationship but not so much that we can put it together all the way. You have to keep coming back and then think about how both characters might have experienced the same moment in different ways, if that makes sense. You really play in the unreliable narrator so well and I am living for it. Like I always want to believe that the narrator is telling the truth and to an extent they are because that’s how they experienced and understood what was happening but they don’t realize their perception is being marked or shadowed by their past experiences and/or biases. It the best thing because I live for multiple perspectives so it’s like that scene character A took it this way while Character B understood this way. It’s great, phenomenal, one of my absolute favorite writing techniques.
I do have a couple questions though if you don’t mind and feel free to take as much time responding as you want. Do the flyboys really blame Ice for what happened or is that his guilt and terrible self worth talking? Like I know you mentioned Slider not talking to him for a bit after the break up but do they understand that both Maverick and Iceman fucked up? Also can you perhaps explain a little more why Maverick felt so hurt? Your writing really made me feel the emotions during these scenes but I have been having a hard time wrapping my head around some stuff. I am very slow on the uptake and can’t always make connections as to why people get upset about certain things. Was he hurt that Ice had been keeping secrets and denying the validity of their relationship to Ice’s family? Upset that Ice was no longer bringing him to the parties? I totally understand if you can’t reveal any of these answers yet or if you just want to point towards a certain chapter for these answers, then that works too.
Ok I think I have word vomited enough to you and hope you have a great rest of the week. Thanks again so much for the update and all your hard work because 16000 words is no joke.
hiiii this is such a lovely lovely comment thank you so so much! seriously I always greatly appreciate it when people express that they like my writing style bc I hate it most days lmfjjdks❤️❤️
as for your questions! do the flyboys really hate ice for what happened- nope, they don’t. it’s mostly his guilt talking bc he genuinely feels terrible still for how he handled the end to their relationship (although Mav had a hand to play in it too 👀)
the slider thing is honestly ice blowing it way out of proportion. here’s the thing- slider could only hear about what happened from one person only, and that was ice, since the other one cut off all communication and went cold turkey on them. he hears ice blame himself and runs with the facts. except he doesn’t have two sides to the story and ice is skewing the account of it too much in Mav’s favour! plus, slider was Also hurt by mav’s isolation, and he unknowingly puts the blame on ice. and you have to admit, it sounds pretty bad from ice’s pov only. lying to mav for 9 months and then cold shouldering him for one more month? WHEW. anyone would be a little Yo Dude What The Fuck after hearing that. but yeah, after a while slider comes to his senses and realises he was being unfair to ice. ice just keeps thinking slider is mad at him until one day slider comes up to him and is like dude chill I’m not mad 😭
ALSO DONT SELF-FLAGELLATE that honour belongs only to icemav!! you can ask me anything seriously I don’t mind answering stuff!! you are absolutely not slow on the uptake sometimes I leave a little too much subtext in my fic lmao. for the mav thing: he wasn’t hurt about the parties in any way, he hates them 💀 but yeah, he’s that hurt because ice lied to him in a massive, massive way- and again, for NINE MONTHS.
at this point, he just wanted a little bit of clarity and openness from ice. like ice has refused to tell him about his family for so long and this lie sort of... toppled the deck of cards lmao. it’s got mav thinking- does he care about me as much as I do for him? or have I been reading this wrong and I am just a warm body for him?
you can argue that it is a little bit hypocritical of mav to be all You Lied To Me! when mav has Also been lying to ice and downplaying the severity of some stuff in his past + goose-related trauma. but at the same time, lying about your family, telling them you dumped your boyfriend, going to parties and putting up the appearance of a single man... it’s wild! it’s crazy! and that’s why he got so upset.
(this is getting way too long of an answer once again) but anyway, all this gets hashed out in a proper conversation/screaming argument between them... eventually. their second go of it won’t be so disastrous, I promise 🙏🏼
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authenticaussie · 2 years
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fic writer interview!
How many works do you have on AO3?
I have 98 on my main!!
What’s your total AO3 word count?
413,645 words! Probably more in general, but I’ve not posted everything I’ve written :”) (something something, seven chapters of hoc buried somewhere, 2k of Conflagrate, a bunch of random drabbles aha)
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
One Piece....just. mostly one piece. I've also got xovers for Aladdian and Merlin, and then, uhhh, I think in order it goes Power Rangers, TMNT, Naruto (ah, my sordid past), Hetalia, The Untamed, Homestuck, Batman, FMA, Carmen Sandiago, Undertale, Harry Potter, Rise of the Guardians, Ultraman X and The Avengers. Honestly??? More fandoms than I thought! 😳
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Flirtations of the Most Luffy-like Kind (zolu - where Luffy wants to kiss Zoro, but Zoro doesn’t realise he’s being flirted with.)
a subtle, simple perfect (Carmen Sandiago, where Carmen tries to get some information from Julia)
Gestures that are (Somewhat) Affectionate (Luffy talks with his hands. It’s a problem)
Bets and their Consequences (Ace tries to fake very real feelings for Marco)
Sparks (a marcoacesabo soulmate au where Marco tries to stop believing in soulmates)
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I used to!! I still respond to comments on ff.n, but I kinda hate that ao3 counts your own comments to the total of the comments on the fic?  so I got out of the habit and now I have so many and it’s so many years later I feel rude replying to them djhjdhd. That’s. That’s literally the only reason :”)
I've always considered trying to get back into it...but. having my comments Count makes me crazyyy
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
I think the one people are the most mad about is Count the Stars dkhjdhd I still get crying emojis from that one
Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?
Ummm, I think the craziest one hasn’t been posted yet! But I do like writing xovers with x character superimplanted into a different world, mostly because I like exploring how that would change them. I don’t normally write xovers where other characters interact, mostly because I’m pretty heavy into Basically Only One Piece Ever
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Mmm, not directly in reviews? But I’ve received hate-adjacent comments - there was that whole fall during everything with the op*bb when I had some people lashing out or trying to pit me against the mod & also I’ve had some people mock a few of my things before? Like, to post my work and be like “wow what an example of why zolu sucks!” or if I express a negative opinion about a character or ship, sometimes I do get people who don’t accept that like.....I have a different opinion then them? But it doesn’t make THEIR opinion on their character/ship not valid. And they’re still allowed to like it even if I don’t?
I think the worst was when a friend said my writing was over dramatic aha. Like....yeah? Sorry that I like dumb romance contrivances? I dunno. I try and keep the mindset now, of like, so what if it’s overdramatic and I like things going wrong! but it does still hurt to think about. /shrug 
ANYWAY mostly I don't get hate mail and I'm really thankful for all the comments and support I DO get, you know? I save a lot of those comments for when I'm feeling down, and mostly, why talk about people who aren't gonna be nice when there are so many more people who ARE nice? My brain doesn't always believe it, if I ask, but I do know if I ever did post about being sad about my writing I would get some support from my quiet little followers. And they're/you guys are awesome! 🥰
Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Not anything worth publishing. The most I really veer to is stuff like XXXcessory. It's not my forté
'what kind', tho...variations of mas, what else?
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
hdkshdgg yeah it’s really exhausting. It happens every now and then and I have to keep searching for it, which just....sucks. so much ):
The funniest one was when someone posted a section from one of my fics and just changed the names to be for OCs but didn't change them all the way! So it just looked SO badly written 🤭
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! It delights me. Fic translators are super cool. I have fics in Russian and Chinese now. And a podfic! 🥰
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! Lucky and I have written fics before and it's so much fun 🥰🥰 We've yet to publish them tho. Mostly because I keep forgetting. Tried to do a BB asl-as-dragons project with Minister-of-silly-walks but then stuff happened and I dropped off the face of the earth. Also I've written fics and done roleplay ish fics with Lolles, and done live rps with Nez and Rbooks!! I think co-writing fics is fun :3
What’s your all time favourite ship?
///w\\\\\ marcoacesabo, probably. I’m such a sucker
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
The Stretch Armstrong and the Flex Fighters rewrite. It had so much POTENTIAL, man!!!!!!!!! YOU JUST TWEAK LIKE FIVE THINGS AND IT BECOMES AN ACTUALLY FANTASTIC AND WELL CONSTRUCTED SHOW WITH MULTIPLE THEMES! PLEASE!
also probably the Shazam!Angus au. I would love to write it but I just. Am bad at writing not-one piece haha. (Though ask me about it whenever, I will TOTALLY stop drop and roll over to info dump. I just think Angus being Shazam and tres horny boys accidental adoption is SO GOOD.) Also the trollhunters/taz crossover (Magnus is Jim) where I fix the fucking ending bc it sucked 🔪
What are your writing strengths?
lol
Okay no I joke I can definitely think of some
UM. I think one of them is being very clear and snappy? I like to make sure that my writing isn't florid or purple prose stuff. And I like writing like that, to make things fun for people to read, you know? I think I write good people? As in, the way they interact with each other? And I think I do a good job on dialogue 🥰
What are your writing weaknesses?
Subtext? I like things to HAPPEN and be clear, and I rush into things. Longfic is a struggle because I just want it to HAPPEN! I also put a lot of pressure on myself when writing for other people, which then leads me to. Literally not writing at all for years :") not the best move aha.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Depends on how you do it!!! I love the inclusion of bilingual rep etc. but there's a difference in rep vs. just dropping random words etc. (of which I am also very much guilty of shskfh). I think it's super cool but ALSO. if it's not translated. omg pls. That hurts me.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
allmighty sjhjshs UHH
oh no shit it was DEF Naruto. I wanted to impress a girl I liked.... whoops
What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
The Bearing of Marks - I just kinda think it's well written, character wise, I like the descriptions I used; it feels poignant and well-crafted and a lot of it is subtext which I'm not fantastic at. It's one of the pieces I use most often for zine entries aha, because I think it's really solid
Tagged by: @touchmycoat​
Tagging: ahh oh god. Literally dm me and I'll tag you!!! But I can't think of anyone rn/I actually kinda hate tagging people because I'm never around lmao
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1d1195 · 1 month
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I am in California! Specifically southern California so yeah it's always warm lol but that's the problem, it's been cold (cold for me which is 50-60sih) and it's very confusing since this isn't our usual weather! Plus it's also been really windy and the wind is cold lol And yeah sadly the timing was THE WORST!!!
It's okay that you chose to not go! like you knew your limit, you knew that it was something that wasn't going to be too enjoyable for you. especially if you had other things on your mind. It's not right that she made you feel bad about that even if you expressed that you were busy/didn't feel up for it. and even if you didn't say something about feeling off, respecting your choice is a MUST and knowing you, you probably declined in a nice way! So being upset that she couldn't respect that is valid! And being an independent person is good! like the fact that you can do things by yourself is something that a lot of people struggle with! there's nothing wrong about that.
I swear I listen to other artists and not just Paramore/ Paramore adjacent music HAHA like aside from that lyric, Ive had Good Luck Babe! by Chappell roan, Lejos de Ti(away from you) and Run Your mouth by The Marias and Bewitched by Laufey and like many more stuck in my head and I just cant seem to get it to stop lol
I kinda liked that they didn't have sex right away! I think her mentioning that "he ruined it" showed how sometimes the healing process is tricky and never linear! either way I always trust you and the process so Im excited!
I try so hard understand it like i have taken those quizzes, read articles and even watched videos! But I simply cant lol Nad you are very sweet!!! also sort of off topic but do you think Belle was disappointed once she saw the Beast in his human form?
Im glad your week was better! I hope that you rest this weekend my love!! thank you so much! ILY!!!-💜
Okay, it's coming back to me, when we talked about ideal temps a while back and I mentioned that 50/60 is my ideal temp 🤣 DEF the worst timing though :( I'm sorry!
She didn't make me feel that way per se, but I can read between the lines of course. Idk it's frustrating. I never say no and then I feel extremely guilty when I don't (have I mentioned Dolcezza before?) I even suggested she go herself and she was like "well, no. I won't go alone." Which I think is really tragic. It's freeing to do things by yourself, in my opinion. I don't mean to sound like 'she should just do it' but you kind of have to start somewhere with it. I'm an early bird so I used to get breakfast by myself in college, go for walks/runs, and honestly I had a whole day by myself in the mornings when no one else was awake. It was either eat breakfast on my own or I wasn't eating until like noon when everyone else woke up and that wasn't what I wanted. Anyway...
That's so cute! I'll have to give them a listen :)
They will definitely be sexual in the next part hahahahahaha
I've seen a lot of memes and tik toks about Belle and her disappointment of Beast HAHAHAHA I'm not sure, honestly! I had to google before and after images to remember what I thought at the time. Not sure if we're talking animated or live-action too, but either way, he's pretty cute in human form. I'm sure it was probably an adjustment for her, regardless. I personally don't like long hair on guys all that much (except Harry obviously because he can do no wrong, ever) so I struggle with that in general but it was a reflection of the time, I suppose. I want to know why they didn't call him Adam. Like it already sucks he's a transformed monster and hates himself already. like why are they calling him The Beast? ESPECIALLY when they know he's a d-bag to begin with? Like why make him MADDER? That would certainly make me mad and I would probs throw Lumiere and Cogsworth out a window (sorry I'm apparently really passionate about Beauty and The Beast).
Hope this week starts off easier for you 💕
xoxo
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taetaespeaches · 2 years
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I’m curious too see what the couples fight about the most. Like between each couple what would be a sensitive subject between them two that would spark conflict between said couple?
Ooooh these were all kind of off the top of my head except Mads helped me with Jimin/Dear and Hobi/Petal so there could be other stuff but these are my first thoughts:
(idk specific subjects that would trigger fights for sure but I know certain attitudes and behaviors that would result in conflicts/make conflicts worse)
Jin/Poopsie: anytime she doubts his dedication to the relationship he’d get pretty pissy. Bc he doesn’t like being doubted in that way, like he loves her more than anything so he doesn’t appreciate the questioning of his devotion. And she’d get pissy back bc she’d be like WHY CANT YOU JUST REASSURE ME WITHOUT GETTING MAD AT ME. Also Jin is immature sometimes like this is a fact, and Poopsie is senstive, and he would make jokes at the wrong time and would either make Poopsie mad or make her sad. 
Yoongi/Kid: I think Kid is the type of person to misdirect her grumpiness at the people around her sometimes so if she did that to Yoongi, he would get really annoyed with her. And then as soon as he gets grumpy with her, she'd get even more upset and it would lead to Yoongi getting pissed bc he thinks she can handle conflict immaturely sometimes. On the other end, I think Kid would sometimes not react well to Yoongi’s more blunt comments, like she doesn’t like criticism so she’d get really defensive about it. Even if the criticism is valid, she would not handle it well- though she might appreciate it in the long run.
Hobi/Petal: They’re both so stubborn honestly, they both think they’re always right. So even though they don’t argue often, if they get into it, they’re INTO IT bc neither will back down and admit fault. So arguments could get pretty heated I think. They don’t argue a lot though so like this wouldn’t usually be an issue but yeah, fights would take some time to get over bc of how stubborn they both can be. 
Joon/Daisy: though Daisy is endeared by Joon’s lack of cooking/cleaning/overall every day life skills to an extent, she’d also get very annoyed when the household tasks fall on her shoulders. Like he would be reading or working or out exploring or something and she’d be cursing his fucking name as she’s cleaning the house and then he’d get home and she’d give him the cold shoulder or snap at him a bit. Cue Joon feeling bad and immediately going to do the dishes or something. Also I am a firm believer that Joon and Daisy feed off each other’s energy almost to a fault so if one of them is grumpy, the other one is grumpy, so they would get in fights during those times.
Jimin/Dear: Jimin can get sassy and Dear doesn’t respond well to it all the time. If he sasses her she’d sometimes get really annoyed and might actually get condescending in response. Like “are you one of my students? Are you five? How about you drop the attitude” and we all know when Jimin is mad he holds onto it- look at the dumpling fight and whatever goddamn fight him and JK got in where he wouldn’t even take JK’s calls lmao. Like the man is petty and Dear would find that infuriating. I also feel like these two have struggled to adapt to each other’s love styles in the past and despite working through that, they still tend to be a bit out of sync sometimes. 
Tae/Peaches: I think when they have differing opinions about stuff it could lead to some pretty petty fights. Like Peaches likes when people agree with her lol and she gets a bit immature and pouty when people express negative opinions on her likes and interests or if someone differs with one of her values or takes. Like she’d be a bit like ??excuse me?? so if Tae says something in passing like “oh I don’t like that movie” or expresses a differing opinion than her she’d go into full defense mode, which would then annoy Tae. Like Tae is like “why can we never just disagree on something?” And Peaches would be too stubborn to let it go for a bit. And Tae would get a bit condescending in fights which Peaches would NOT appreciate in any way lol so that would just make shit worse. 
JK/Holly: Jungkook would get a bit jealous sometimes and it would be pretty unfounded (bc he’d overthink shit and second guess stuff) which is fine but he would pick fights for attention, which would really anger Holly. She’d rather he just initiate a conversation rather than picking fights. And I also feel like he could be a bit nitpicky about Holly’s habits sometimes like for example: she leaves her dishes overnight to do in the morning and Jungkook would be like “but if we did them at night then we’d wake up to a clean kitchen” and she would get sensitive and annoyed with that. Which that leads to another point of contention which would be that JK wishes Holly was tidier and sometimes her lack of attention to organization and cleaning would annoy him. 
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thenovelartist · 3 years
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ABC Fluff Headcanons - Vyn Richter - Tears of Themis
A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
If this was a fairytale, it would be Beauty and the Beast. Except he was simply the Beast and you were his magic rose he got to watch bloom. But instead of watching you under glass, he preferred it to be removed, even if it shredded your innocence in the process, but oh, watching you grow anyways, both blooming beautifully while growing fierce thorns to warn anyone before they touch, just to spite the adversity you were faced with was his truest pleasure. Your fortitude; that was what he truly admired about you.
B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)
You’d think it’s your eyes, being the windows to the soul and all. But you’d be wrong; it’s your hands. Specifically, your tender touch. It’s gentle, warm, and safe. Being able to hold your hand feels intimate for him, and he actually enjoys when you tap his arm to get his attention, then let your hand linger when he gives it. It’s like a reward and a comfort all in one.
C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
He does enjoy a good cuddle, but hugging you from behind might be his favorite. Whether sitting together on the couch with you on his lap or spooning you in bed, he likes when he can nuzzle the side of your head or rest his chin on your shoulder.
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
He will have planned this to a T because he’s not much for spontaneity. And it would involve a walk together, flowers, and he will either have made you a dessert or the two of you will make something together. It’s something quiet and intimate for you to enjoy time together, talking about anything and nothing while the date is riddled with affectionate touches and some kisses.
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
Good grief, this man’s emotions are… complicated. He’s very logical, but he’s not ignorant to his emotions. It doesn’t seem like it, but he frequently tempers them, only to bring them up again in full when he records his diary so that he’s able to manage them.
But you have ruined him. His carefully kept emotional balance has been thrown to the wind. You make him feel intensely and strongly, to the point it almost trumps his logic, which makes him uncomfortable. His diaries have been getting longer as his inner turmoil increases, and that’s all your fault. It’s something you notice, too, watching his even temperament waver more and more frequently around you as the emotion inside him wars with his rationality. You will have to give this man time. Time to open up and be honest with himself, and you, about his emotions. Be prepared to validate his emotions in his moments of weakness. It’s the only way he’ll get better about honestly expressing them to you.
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
He wouldn’t be opposed to staying childless. He also wouldn’t be opposed to having a child, and you could probably talk him into two if the first goes well. Little humans would be fascinating studies, after all. (“Dear, do not psycho-analyze the children.”)
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
He does not care for trinkets. Nor does he care about giving you them. Gifts should be practical.
At least… that’s what he likes to think. His one exception to this is when he gives you something to wear. It’s his way of marking you and wearing it will spark a possessive streak in him.
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
He likes—no, needs to be either touching or holding your hand in quiet, private moments. And he wants to hold your hand when he’s jealous. Especially when he’s jealous. And you know when he is because he holds tight as though reminding you that you’re his while also sending passive-aggressive signals to the cause of his jealousy. When you’re just out walking, he will sometimes hold your hand, but he also likes when you loop your hands over his elbow and he can escort you like a proper gentleman. (It also causes you to pull yourself in close to him, so he actually quite enjoys when you do that.)
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
Depends. Minor cuts or burns are treated with care and, occasionally, a kiss. Get into an accident, and he gets shockingly worried about you. However, if you end up hurt because of a reason to do with NXX, he’ll be sick with emotions. Guilt, fear, anger; all of them brew for a deadly concoction. He will not rest, even to the point of abusing his own body, until he finds the person who hurt you and sees to it they are paying dearly for their crime.
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
He doesn’t always joke around, but when he does… this man is a wicked tease. Don’t expect to get off the hook easily. You better learn how to tease back, or he’ll use words and puzzles to twist you exactly where he wants you, which normally is you as a blushing, stuttering mess.
K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)
Sweet kisses off-the-cuff are quite nice, and so are the passionate ones, but the ones he likes best are the slow, lingering ones that take place hidden away in your own world. They convey so much with no words. There’s no frantic holding or clinginess. Rather, it feels like a moment of security, coming together and staying. He likes the comfort they provide him and the way they actually settle his heart.
L = Love Confession (how do they confess?)
He actually was super nervous to confess. He’ll have practiced and planned this confession before it happens. Which you never would have guessed because it was in such a smooth conversation during one of your outings that he admitted he held feelings of a romantic nature for you.
M = Marriage (What does the wedding look like?)
He wants it small, intimate, and preferably outdoors in a garden. He wants it nice but not overly fancy. He won’t fuss over the smaller details. Besides, he doesn’t realize it yet, but he will barely remember anything beyond how utterly stunning you look in your wedding dress, anyway.
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
He hates being a failure, but if he’s everput in a position where he fails you, he will never forgive himself.
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
This man has literal decks of cards of only one kind of card. You want a 52 card deck with all ace of hearts? He has that. Ten of spades? He has that too. Four of clubs? Yup. You don’t know why he has them, and he won’t tell you, but you think it’s literally just because he’s highly amused the way you wrack your brain over it.
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
He’s classic. Love, Dear, Darling, Sweetheart. But he’s half-German (At least, that is my best speculation considering he was called “Vilhelm” and is canonly mixed-race), so “Liebling” is also an endearment he calls you, and my guess is he saves that one strictly for the sweetest, most tender moments you share.
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)
Calm setting, electronics put away, and preferably some form of physical contact with you. This could be working together in the garden, side by side, or going out to walk around town together, but those are not his favorite. Baking with you is one of his top ones, though. Expect him to tap some sort of batter or frosting on your nose. His other favorite is lounging together on the couch, your back leaning against his chest, and just talking. Communication is important to any relationship, and he finds it a joy to communicate with you.
R = Romance (how do they show their love and affection?)
He’s the kind that shows his affection by giving you his time and attention. He’ll show it in the little touches exchanged back and forth and in the way he’s attentive to your well-being, particularly your mental well-being.
He’ll also show he loves you by playing mind games on you until you’re a blushy, stuttering mess. He’s usually forgiven with a kiss and “I love you”. You know you’re too soft on him, but whattcha gonna do?
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
He is an onion you have to peel back layer by layer to get to open up to you. And like an onion, there’s likely going to be some tears shed as you do that. Time will determine how many secrets he’s willing to share with you, and it’s likely going to take years for him to fully open up to you. But keep at it. You will be rewarded with his innermost thoughts and feelings and the discovery of how insecure this seemingly unflappable man is.
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
This man doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but falling hard and fast for you? That he did. One of his biggest hurdles he had to get over was logically evaluating his feelings and what he thought your feelings for him were as well as coming to terms with the way he’s been treated in past relationships (And not just romantic ones. He has an… interesting way of creating carefully crafted ties to people.) So it might take a little time for him to get comfortable enough to ask you out. And throughout the relationship, he’ll probably still be working with his past demons, so be prepared for that.
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
He’ll comfort you the best way he can if you’re a sad upset. A mad upset, and he’ll probably give you a little space to work yourself out while offering his guidance. And upset at him? This is where a good chunk of your arguments happen, to be honest. So then you both have to calm down before coming together again and talking it out. But you always do and are stronger for it.
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
He’ll never admit it, but he loveswhen he can leave you impressed. It thrills him if he can show off a trick or his general intelligence and have you praise him for it. Occasionally, he’ll search for ways to impress you just because he wants that attention. But never will he admit it.
W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
Well…he’s all okay with fighting as long as it’s not physical fighting. If you’re going to verbally spar with someone, he’s more than happy to let you go, and he takes pride in the fact you usually wipe the floor with your opponent. But the moment it’s going to turn into a physical altercation, he’s your shield. Part of him thinks that in times he is unfortunately not around, it might be good to have some self-defense under your belt, but at the same time, he’d rather you just flee instead of fight. Because he knows you well enough that if you had the ability, you’d probably knock someone’s lights out if they came at you.
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
He’s a psychologist; he can already read you well. But on top of that, you are his favorite study, and he will catalogue everything he learns about you away to pull out for future reference. So while he already reads you well early on into your relationship, give it a few years and you have basically no secrets from this man.
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
He will never forget the “surprise over romance” opinion on proposals you shared with him. So, determined to give you the best, he sets up an elaborate puzzle for you, getting all the important people in your life to get in on it. Together, the two of you will trapeze the town hunting down little clues—in places, that you only realize later, hold significance to both of you—before he’ll “conveniently” take his leave so you can finish out the last leg, which ultimately ends up leading you to his office, the place you first met. And there he is, sitting behind a house of cards sits made solely from the Ace of Hearts with a ring in the middle of the top tier which was made from two different cards: the king and queen. Only once you realize that and he revels in your joy and tears will he properly get on one knee and ask you to marry him.
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
When everything is “right” in his world. His patients are doing well, he’s got no massive cases on his plate, nothing requires his immediate attention, and you are close by, doing well in your own right.
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lovee-infected · 4 years
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I enjoy reading character analysis to understand them more and I've also noticed that some insert fics are like too exagerated and their personalities are far from the canon twst. I think some writers are just basing their fics to others and and makes conclusion about it and ignore important details or text on their cards?* And as a reader, I do sometimes think that "this" character are like that. Like Vil, being portrayed as narcisstic and beauty obssessed charac, I think he isnt like that and theres more to him than we think. Sorry for the long ask✌️
You're totally valid anon and I see your point, you know while I agree that each idea and interpretation on characters is worthy on its own and no one is bound to having a specific opinion or belief, getting too wild with personal fantasies and ignoring the originals can totally ruin the writing. Characters are often mischaracterized especially in reader insert fics and the most annoying part is that almost everyone is making the same mistakes about him-! Like some of the noticable mistakes would be:
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(1) Femininely has nothing to do with Vil's terms of beauty
Oh lord what can I say- It's even against what Vil himself directly said through chapter five and how he cleared his point on male and female equal, and you can tell he is pretty strict about it.
Like did you just forget what he told Epel when he complained that he doesn't want to act like a girl: “a boy getting embarrassed about ‘acting like a girl,’ -- what year is your head stuck in??? did you take a time machine from 100 years ago??”
He doesn't seem to be one to appreciate the concept of labeling beauty as a female-only thing and on the other hand, he doesn't really seem to like the way women can be looked down on while being compared to men either. He seeks equality, and beauty wasn't ever defined as a feminine act in his dictionary; while there are tons of requests asking for: Vil forcing their trans s/o to wear more feminine clothes/ Vil asking their fem! s/o to wear more feminine stuff an look cuter/Vil complimenting s/o's appearance for not being feminine enough/... And literally TONS of requests like this. Please, you're forgetting one the most important parts of his personality, he considers male and female to be equal and it's so hecking important to show that he holds respect for all genders nonetheless.
(2) Vil's maturity is often ignored
Honestly, within all twst characters Vil's maturity on its own really impresses me. From the way he speaks to how serious and sincere he is all I gotta say is this man is waaay different from the way he's charactetized in most of the fics. Idk why but, he's sometimes charactetized as a guy who's ready to boil you alive if you dare touch any of his expensive make up pallettes or eyeshadows. Oh please, Vil isn't an angry child.
Also he often decides to keep his anger in, though you can tell when he's mad by just looking at his face. Clinching fists, trying not to talk and most likely, walking off or asking people to leave him alone until he calms down a bit is most likely his usual way of expressing his anger, but I've seen him being described as a loud, feral figure like Riddle is! Oh god no- Are you just ignoring how calm and collected Vil often tends to be?
(3) What's with the potato fetish?
While it's canon that Vil can sometimes call people around him potato. You may like to know that in some languages, potato is translated as "Apple of the ground", which can be an interesting reason of him using this nickname for people.
Watching Vil call students potatoes can be as entertaining as watching Malleus play with his tamagotchi, but again, it's important to realize that you don't have to only use potato when you're thinking of what Vil might say in a reader insert/situation!
Come on there are hundreds of different statements and sentences you can use other than just 'potatoes' and it'll get boring to read him saying the same nick name over and over in a fic. Good lord of course this isn't the only word he uses in communication so please try to avoid using it too much. This, is NOT the only word that he knows to use! (Seriously though I've seen being used like 6 times in a 500-word drabble)
(4) Please avoid spreading false information about him and his personality
Funny how I'm saying it here, but don't forget that you do not own him! Vil Schoenheit is a property of Disney/ Aniplex and all, which means that no one can certainly decide on his sexuality/ background/ unexplained character details unless it's officially announced.
Why am I saying this? Because some people are seriously going to far! I've seen people attacking others saying that Vil's pronouns are She/Her and not He/ Him like: EXCUSE ME...???
I don't want to get into details explaining how this drama is going but I've got to say something anyway, YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE ON HIS PRONOUNS! None of us do!
It's totally okay to have your personal preferences on his pronouns or anything else, but you must avoid spreading such information and forcing them on others as long as they aren't confirmed! Please keep your headcanons for yourself and don't confuse the fandom with them. Everyone's free to have their own headcanons but it's never okay to force them on others!
(5) Vil has a LOT to talk about other than just beauty!
Man... sometimes I feel like the fandom is just doing him dirty. Most of the reader inserts, fics , and even Vil memes have something to do with beauty while it's important to try and look through his personality as well instead of just sticking with the beauty aspect.
For example, through the Halloween event, I couldn't be any more surprised when Vil found the crying child who had lost their parents through the crowd and instead of just leaving them to headmaster or asking someone to take care of them he actually started to play with the child and entertrain and confront them on his own! That was probably one of his sweetest moments through the whole game and it really changed my mind about him! It was great to know that Vil as well can have a softer side when it comes to children, just imagine how good this can be used while writing a father AU for him!
His talents on the other hand need to be recognized, for example: his acting skills back in the ghost marriage proved how much of a great actor he can be and this can also give us lots of ideas to use in writings. On the other hand he's much of a celebrity on his own ( Woop- he's also got 2m followers on magicam) which gives us another great plot to write for him.
The way he is around close friends, how he compliments them and gets complimented by them in return, the way he manages Pomefiore and tries to put the students into doing their best in using their skills and lots of more interesting details that can be found through his stories are there to tell you that he's a lot more than just a beautiful Queen. A considerable part of his background as well is going to be released at he end of chapter 5 (Yes baby after the overblot Vil) and I hope that gives us all the opportunity to come up with stronger personalities and plots next time that we're describing or even, characterizing Vil!
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Lmao I kind of rushed to finish this so I didn't get to talk about him as much as I wanted to, but hope that this is useful anyway.
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leviiattacks · 3 years
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heyyy there, saw your requests are open. and i'm wondering maybe you could do a timeskip where everything is done and levi finally opened his tea shop. then there he met reader, and he treats them differently from other customers. thank you, hope you're having a good day.
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author note :: this was kinda rushed as is most of what i post. the reader is a writer just bc i thought it would be cute and also ISTG. i wrote this entire thing thinking leviolas was such a cool name for a tea shop then googled it and saw it’s also the name of a spider so... ++ btw i have not yet double checked or proofread this because i wrote it at 2am but yeah it’s definitely not great :-) word count :: 2.4k??? somehow???
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you’re sweet like honey when you first order from leviolas. you’re the same when you ask the owner for extra napkins and you remain exactly the same when you return with the intention to stick around for a writing session with a black tea by your side
something about you is attractive. that’s what levi thinks of you when you first walk into leviolas
you’re just incredibly wholesome poking your head around looking at all of the handmade pastries and confectioneries in admiration
you think the homely decor is cute and reminiscent of cottages in the countryside, the view outside the windows is beautiful and the scent of coffee alongside tea is heavenly
the pastries are beautiful and you find yourself eyeing the macrons pretty frequently. just EVERYTHING about leviolas is cute :-(
but one particular thing is especially adorable to you
and that would be the owner
when you hear his name for the first time you’re a little shocked
levi ackerman to be specific captain levi ackerman, the high ranking official who aided in paradis’ independence and freed the nation from the grip of titans
you read about him a year back in a paper or two and vividly recall the valiant title he held as humanity’s strongest soldier
he still holds the title that’s for sure but now he happens to own a tea shop
it’s slightly unusual it’s not every day you see a soldier retire and live such a plain life but you suppose the simplicity makes levi happy
honestly, if you had been through hell and back like him you too would wish to spend the rest of your days in the company of tea leaves and sweet cakes
today is a day like any other you’re sat by one of the windows and contemplating sitting in the outside seating area
the sun is shining and lands uncomfortably on your face at this angle and you may as well make your way outside
but before you can a shadow looms over you and a broad chest leans over to cover the window with dainty curtains
“you looked bothered by the light.”
oh god.
it’s him.
he’s standing there looking at you with an unreadable expression and all you can do is open and close your mouth not knowing what to say
humanity’s strongest soldier
levi ackerman
also known as the really really really attractive cafe owner you’ve been crushing on for the last few months now
seeing him up close is much more different to looking at him from the comfort of your seat or whilst you order
he’s normally got his back turned whilst collecting orders or another worker collects them as he prepares the beverages
that’s why the unexpected interaction has you nervous
you can always tell when he’s made your drink because he honestly has a way with tea leaves and you kinda want to gush about how much you enjoy it
but, no, no, no.
you’re panicking just looking at him
soft black strands of hair stick to his forehead, his undercut is oddly satisfying to stare at and he smells of pine trees which again is refreshing
“ah hahaha thank you for blocking the sun out!!”
why the fuck did you ha ha????
this is so awkward.
putting on your best front you beam up at him hoping your toothy smile doesn’t look stupid
then again it probably does because who the hell has a good toothy smile
nobody.......
levi’s gaze lingers on you but if he has anything else he wants to say he doesn’t make it known
instead he firmly nods and turns away
you’ve messed up,,
only!!! you manage to mess up even more....?
without thinking your hand latches onto the back of his blue button up and your face burns up realizing what it is you’ve done when he stiffens to a stop
as quick as your hand has grabbed onto his shirt it lets go and you awkwardly laugh again
hahahahaha
“i’m sorry i didn’t mean to hold onto you so hard i was just...wondering if you could let me in on your secret.”
the random sentence is one you’ve made off the top of your head because you don’t have any real reason for holding onto him
but thankfully for you the saccharine of your voice is enough to sway levi
when he turns to see you with the same smile eagerly awaiting his answer something sparks in him
his chest feels a little funny but he ignores it
“secret?” he questions
“yeah!! your tea!! you’re really good at making it and aaaahhhh” you sigh contently thinking back on it.
“i remember when i ordered rose tea one time. you made it beautifully and the taste was infused so delicately it was incredibly soothing.”
hearing you ramble passionately about what he loves to do makes his chest feel funny again
he doesn’t know what the hell is going on exactly
but the only way he can explain it is his heart somersaulting and flipping despite him not wanting it to
despite that, it’s quite enjoyable
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it’s probably got something to do with your kindhearted demeanor or the way you always manage to give him a smile when you waltz in
but levi finds himself fighting to touch you more and more as the days pass
your collar is always haphazardly done and he wants to lean in and fix it
sometimes you’ll have an eyelash on your face and he wants to lean in to swipe it away with his thumb
occasionally he stares at your hair and wants to sort it out. half the time it’s all over the place from the wind
he wants to lean in and smooth it out.
all he wants to do is LEAN IN but he sees no valid reason to
he’s lucky he’s always able to catch himself before his thumb reaches your cheek (you’re very oblivious and never notice how close he really gets)
ever since your first encounter at leviolas a few months back he’s been dragged into your world of books and lively stories
it doesn’t take you long to break out of your shell and you’re always telling levi something new
he doesn’t speak as much as you but when you coax out a story or two out of him he’s always earnest
you’ve learnt a lot through the conversations
you’ve learnt about his lost comrades, the horrible things he had to see on the battlefield, how he hopes he’ll live happy with what he has left
there are certain conversation topics he skips entirely and you respect his boundaries
you and levi are sat by a window and a comfortable silence floats between you two
it’s been four months
four months since you asked what his secret was
come to think of it he never told you what it was
he’s intently staring at you as you drink the lemon tea he’s just made you and his stare is a little too intense
feeling nervous you pick up your cup hoping for something to occupy yourself
recently the butterflies in your stomach have been increasing in number but you know it’s wrong to fancy levi
you don’t know why you think that but it’s the fact that you’re sure you’re not his type
he probably likes organised people, dependable people, funny people
not you.
you’re just an irksome author who spends your days writing in his shop
honestly he finds you annoying he has to. you’re always hanging around here
however, you do remember the one day you did choose to write in the park he thought you had died or something. that made you feel a little sad because he can’t really help but automatically worry if his routine is broken and you happen to have accidentally become part of his schedule
no, like levi’s literally said he has your name in his planner and whenever he thinks of a new thing to make you he’ll write it down with your name next to it
but still,, you’re convinced he has to find you annoying
there’s no reason for thinking it but you DEFINITELY think it’s correct
absentmindedly you haven’t even noticed levi still staring at you
“y/n?”
looking up at levi he’s clearly worried about something
humming in response telling him to continue he does
“i like someone.”
oh.
“...i’m not sure they’d return my feelings, that’s why i mentioned it.”
you smile at him warmly and you feel your heart sink, obviously he has to like someone. it’s probably someone in the corps, someone strong, someone capable. you’re not any of those things.
“well, you need not worry. if a man as good as you fancied me i’d be over the moon. i’m sure they would too!”
keep optimistic, don’t let him see you upset.
levi’s cheeks grow bright red and he bashfully tries to hide his embarrassment by covering his face with his hands
you laugh when he doesn’t budge and stays in the same position 
“c’mon levi, confess they’ll accept you have nothing to fear.” you coo persuasively
finally letting up after a few seconds he lets his arms drop to his sides.
“would you date me?”
the question takes you aback and you stare at him startled
soon realizing the idiocy laced in the inquiry he quickly retracts his statement
“nevermind, that was stupid.”
ignoring him you still want to answer
“uh well, i would. i have thought about it on occasion.”
he’s blinking rapidly trying to process what you’ve just admitted.
“you’ve thought about...?”
“dating you. yes i have.”
“and why the hell would you do that?” you can’t tell if he’s mad at you
“you’re capable, respectful. you’re considerate and quiet. i mean it you’re an amazing man really. also your tea!! imagine getting to drink it every day.”
you really have to add in the part about his tea because you know he loves it when you compliment it :-)
“ok, you drink my tea every day already.”
his short uninterested response stings and the dam of regret bursts open 
you shouldn’t have said all of that.
you and levi sit in an awkward silence for what feels like an eternity. you don’t dare look at him and your course of action is too drink your tea as quick as possible before dismissing yourself.
but before you can set your plan in motion levi breaks the ice.
“let’s date.”
you freeze and your eyes grow to the size of saucers
what did he just say???
he has to be losing his mind
“but levi what about the person you like?”
his eyebrow cocks upwards and an amused expression stretches across his face.
“i was talking about you.” he confesses boldly
this is a fever dream, nope, nope nope. you can not comprehend that this is your reality.
pinching your arm you hiss a little when you feel the pain
okay so, you’re definitely not dreaming...
“i, you, me. you...you like me?” the sentence is a jumble of words but you manage to sputter out something that makes sense
“yes. i like you.”
he’s being so blunt you can’t tell if he’s being serious but when you remind yourself that this is levi you relax, a blunt straightforward confession is meaningful coming from him 
BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT
HELLO???? HE LIKES YOU BACK?%^%^”*
you get all blushy and flustered and you let out another one of your awkward hahahahaha’s but it’s a good hahahahaha
cautiously testing the waters he grabs your hand from across the table intertwining his fingers with yours
the gesture is adorable. the buzzing sensation that travels through your laced fingers makes you giggle to yourself giddily
“leviolas suddenly a matchmaking agency now? ;-)” your joke is dry and unfunny and levi rolls his eyes at it 
“you’re not funny.”
“but you still like me.” you tease
“yes. i still like you.” he admits
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a few days have passed since then
you and levi have been the talk of the town 
humanity’s strongest soldier finally found his flame???
the chatter and rumors spread like wildfire, both you and levi aren’t fans of being in the spotlight but nothing negative has been said so there’s no complaints so far
levi places a cup of tea in front of you, it’s a herbal kind because you’ve been complaining about a headache
today you’re explaining why you dislike the plot of beauty and the beast and how there’s so much wrong with it. from the weirdly toxic relationship to the power imbalance. levi stands listening attentively whilst waiting for you to take a sip of the tea
just as you’ve paused to take a large breathe and prepare yourself to continue explaining how unbearable that book is levi uses it as his chance to say what he’s been wanting to 
“drink up before it’s ice cold.”
following his instructions you interrupt yourself and take a gulp of the herbal tea
your eyes glimmer in approval. it tastes of strawberries and you’re delighted already feeling your mood slightly raise in response
“it’s GREAT?? what did you put in it?? it doesn’t even taste medicinal.” once again, you’re fawning over his tea
“so levi ackerman, what really is the secret to all these perfect cups of tea?”
and without a seconds hesitation he responds.
“i was making the tea for you. that’s the secret.”
it takes a while for the gravity of his words to sink it but when the meaning does you cup his face in your palms and peck him everywhere. he whines a little but you can tell he enjoys the attention
you find that you’re more than happy you’ve found a home in levi and his shop
and levi’s more than happy he’s found a home in you and your books
:-)
358 notes · View notes
missyasf · 3 years
Text
Game Of Hearts
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| 1 |
↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.
↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader
↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller
Word Count: 11k
___| Next
Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together! 
Side mention: This could be considered a prequel to the current Alice In Borderland. I’m writing based off the Manga bc I was a glutton and couldn’t wait no spoilers will be present as of...
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Escapism
noun
the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy ♡ 
You had known all about this during your short lifespan, as a child you’d often play pretend with your sister that you were movie stars living in a five star hotel rather than the shitty busted up apartment on the wrong side of town. Escapism came in, many forms. It was often a way for people to cope psychologically, simply because sometimes, facing the reality of your situation can be too much for one person to handle mentally. 
Or at least, that was the topic of your lecture today in class. The human mind always fascinated you. Even at the young tender age when your mom died and you watched your once cozy little family fall apart piece by piece until nothing was left in its wake. 
It was your fascination that drove you now for most things, why? Why, why, why? You always wondered what the motive was behind someone’s actions, not only thing but you wanted to  understand them better, to try and sympathize. You were already fairly intuitive in nature. It wasn’t difficult to read people. In fact your line of work made it easy, you’d watch a man who would be excited to be with you reach for his left finger as if used to touching something. A wedding band perhaps? 
The lowlife cheater was fairly common in a whore house after all. Or the man who had been pissy this morning behind you in line because you had decided to try something new on the menu and you weren’t fast enough, obviously because he was tardy and woke up late, his shirt unbeknownst to him was button the wrong way and his tie loose and even the way his hair fell were all signs of being late to work. 
It was the little things you noticed in people’s facial expressions, the way they moved and spoke. You could read people like a book, and sure sometimes it was useful. But you often wished you weren’t so perceptive. It drove you mad knowing when a potential love interest was no longer interested through a simple text or a friend not wanting to talk by their tone. Sometimes you wished you could just blot it all out, still, you lived like this day in and day out, you were used to this kind of thing and honestly. Friends? Love? Your gaze dropped a little to your feet, the pumps you were wearing a jet black and the heel too high for any respectable woman to ever wear. 
...It wasn’t like you ever had any of those in your life and you had struggled to come to terms with the fact that you could survive without that kind of support. Still...it made you envious, the couple happily holding hands on the sidewalk. The group of friends all laughing at a table while they studied. Oftentimes these feelings are muted, but when you’re faced with something you’ve always craved, those muted feelings suddenly become hyperactive in your mind. 
It’s pathetic, honestly. 
“How dare you! You disgusting slut!” 
In this moment however, you were brought back to reality at just what was happening, you squeaked loudly as you dodged the shoe the woman had thrown at you. This was all a regular occurrence, you had a lot of regulars who weren’t the most amazing people but hey, money was money. But along with them they also left a trail which their wives and girlfriends always followed. And then they always blamed you instead of their partner for leaving them for a prostitute despite you never having agreed to anything such as that.
It really wasn’t your fault, you were just trying to make a living while juggling with keeping up your own education, paying your fathers debts, rent and still somehow getting food on the table. What part time college job could provide that?
Prostitution wasn’t a job you would’ve gone into willingly but given the past and your trauma that was already laced in it you had been learning that sometimes because of the trauma we experience, sometimes people go back to that same trauma and actively participate in it as a way of feeling like they’re in control. 
That whatever happened before, would never happen again if you were in control. You weren’t sure if you qualified under this category, trauma came in many forms but the one most used as an example in your class was that a study showed that women who were assaulted often develop a kink for consensual non consent as a way of coping with what happened, except this time, it’s in a controlled environment where it can end the moment they want it too. 
Again, you weren’t sure you fell into this category, but you often wondered if your line of work was intertwined with your earlier memories when you were younger, if anything it brought comfort to you. Much of it, blotted out now simply because your mind couldn’t take it. Trauma expressed through amnesia was also much more common than many thought, and it’s so small, so easy to miss. After all how can you be aware of something if you have no memory of it anymore?
“Security!” Your manager screeched, two of the bodyguards were already between you and the feral woman who was ready to gut you clean as she screamed hysterically, her husband...your regular....at her side trying to get her to calm down only for her to come to her senses and slap him clean across the face. You didn’t condone violence, but he did have it coming...
You weren’t about to justify cheaters, you couldn’t imagine the hurt someone had to feel that not only did their partner cheat on them, but it was with someone...like you...You had been trying not to put down your job occupation, sex workers were just as valid as anyone else...you knew you would’ve thought this way if it was anyone but you in this position. 
You sighed as you ran your hands through your hair, watching the couple get dragged out of the tight space of the brothel, “Jesus christ....didn’t you say you stopped using perfume because of this?” Miki, your manager sighed as she crossed her arms. You didn’t want to say your manager was your friend but she was the closest you had as you’d often complain to her about most of your problems. Sex work often attracted broken people, it wasn’t something she wasn’t used to. 
“Yeah, but apparently he never got around to washing his clothes…” You wiped your mouth on the back of your hand, “Lipstick stain,” You glanced down at the ruby pink color that stained your skin now, “Fuck...that did hurt.” You rubbed your sore cheek that was still throbbing from where she had first slapped it when she ripped the door open of the room where she got to see with her own eyes you riding her husband. 
It had happened so many times now you weren’t even embarrassed about someone walking in let alone a partner. Miki gave you a lopsided smile as she patted your shoulder, “Guess that just pays for being one of the best here. Did you at least get paid.” 
You nodded, “Yeah, I always make them pay in advanced but I was hoping to get a tip afterwards...He was a lawyer so you know he had good money.” You sighed, crossing your arms, you were well aware of his partner because a lot of the time he didn’t even come in for sex anymore. It was funny how humans work. 
He often felt his wife was overbearing and you had suspected some sort of verbal abuse by the way he talked about her constant screaming. Truthfully, you don’t think he ever intended on cheating with her. He just wanted someone to talk to without being judged, you could relate with sympathy to that, but he unfortunately chose to walk into a brothel instead of a therapy clinic and this truly was the only inevitable outcome. Still, you hope if for anyone’s sake, he gets that divorce for himself. 
 “Hey I think I’m gonna call it a day. I need to get back to Nanami, she was wanting to talk to me about college applications.” You sighed as you rubbed your neck, ever since she had graduated high school she had been chomping at the bit to start applying for college, maybe to just get out of the house and into a dorm. You couldn’t blame her and if she did that it would lighten your load a little. 
Guilt washed over you at the thought as Miki chuckled, “They grow up pretty fast huh? My brother was the same way, except the moment he found out I was a sex worker was the moment he called me a whore and we haven’t talked since. That was probably about five years ago,” She crossed her arms as she sighed, “Crazy how the things we do for the ones we love, never appreciate our effort...I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 
“If I’m not bruising.” You offered a weak smile as you nodded at her before going back to your room to get changed. Truthfully, you much like anyone else, often wished you could go to a world where reality wasn’t a concept any longer. Where you could lay out in the sun for the whole day and just soak up it’s rays with no worries or trepidations. 
But sooner then later everyone had to face their fears. Even you, you supposed. But no matter how hard you fought your demons, they always came back tenfold. Again, you supposed your story was no different from tens of thousands, and yet you all live on regardless. Maybe it’s you who should be the one seeking therapy. Pulling on your jeans and the cropped top over your head before pulling the jacket over your arms and grabbing your bag. 
The walk home was as quiet as ever, your hood over your head and earbuds any unwanted attention, it wasn’t too late at night, only eleven PM and your work had just been getting started but that had ruined the night for you and besides, you had already failed a test today, you could use the sleep tonight. 
Occasionally you’d hear the sirens of  a cop car passing by or a bystander shout, nothing out of the ordinary in this neighborhood. Walking up to the apartment complex you pulled the key from your bag as you unlocked the door. Quietly stepping insides as you shut the door before locking it once more. Your nose wrinkled at the smell of stale air mixed with rotten...something…
If anything, you were always lacking in something, you had been so busy most of the day that you never had time to clean anything leaving the house in a horrible state. Not that you thought this was much of a house. 
Walking down the narrow hallway you opened the rickety door with a missing lock as you gave a brief smile to the small clump of bedsheets. Your sister was curled up and on her phone, eyes darting to the door with a hint of fear before she jumped up, “Y/n! You’re home earlier from night shift already!?” 
You offered a smile as you set down your bag and nodded, sitting down on the mattress that laid on the floor as you replied, “Yeah, a coworker needed the extra hours so I let them cover for me tonight. Besides, you wanted to talk about college applications?” Your sister was under the impression your late night job was bartending at some hole in the wall downtown, where in all actuality you just went there to drink a few days and talk to the loud and sometimes obnoxious, but good hearted bartender who loved talking about his nerdy underaged friends that couldn’t do anything beside stay and drink soda. 
It wasn’t that you didn’t think your sister would accept you, if she knew what you were actually doing. Fear, most times came in many different forms and this was one of them. You simply didn’t want to be judged, even by her. So nobody in your life truly knew who you were, and therefore, how could you hold the expectation for people to accept you into society if you were already self sabotaging yourself? 
All philosophy aside, you were simply a lost soul, looking for your way in the cruel reality called life. 
“Yes!” Nanami was chipper as always as she squealed, clapping her hands, “I…! I was thinking about applying to the university you attend! Maybe I'll get a grant and move into the dorms there? I already applied for several jobs, I’m just waiting on a callback!” 
You offered a small smile as you hugged your knees to your chest, “I think you’d like it there, there’s lots to do around campus. But what will you go in for? The only advice I can offer is be sure it’s what you want to do.” 
Nanami’s face faltered a little as she hummed, “Well...I thought maybe working with animals? I’d love to be an assistant surgeon in veterinarian? I know it’s a pretty...sad job but...I really like the idea of being able to heal such innocent things.” Your smile tugged into a gentle one at your sister. She was too tender for this world.
It had been your goal sense the day your mother died that you took care of your sister, it didn’t matter what happened to you. You could rot for all you cared at the end of the day, all you wanted was to look up and see your sister's smile and her happiness in life blossom. She more than anyone deserved it. 
“I think you’ll be great at it.” You encouraged as you rested your chin on your hand, always happy to see her bounce in excitement as you yawned, your body was used to your demanding schedule but it was always more than happy to welcome a few extra hours of sleep.”
Hearing the door loudly slam close caused you both to jump, Nanami hurriedly crawled back in bed, pretending to be asleep as you frowned. Your dad must’ve come back home from wherever he was. 
“Y/n! Just stay here! Can’t you talk to him later?” Nanami looked scared, she always did when he was around. But you weren’t about to stand down to the bastard any day of the week, you offered a weak smile as you replied. 
“It’s fine Nami, I’ll be just a few minutes.” You replied, you knew that she knew, that was probably a lie. But you’d try your best, for her sake at least. But somebody had to put this guy in his place occasionally and it was always you. It results in a lot of screaming sometimes, other times he’d break down in tears or on a bad occasion you’d get shoved to the ground, a few times hit. Nothing major. 
Walking out of the room you leaned against the wall of the entrance of the hallway watching your father stumble around in the living room, “Did you finally talk to the loan company?” You called out as you asked, not in a forgiving mood tonight. He had said he’d do this for two weeks in a row. The company that sank your whole family into the ground. The reason your mother couldn’t take it anymore and put a blade to her wrist. 
Your father stood up, looking a little wobbly, obviously drunk, “Now listen here little girl I don’t have shit to own to you or anyone else.” You sighed as you tucked your tongue into your cheek, annoyance flowing inside you as you straightened up. You weren’t going to be bullied into being scared of this guy. 
“Actually you do,” Your smile twisted into something more sharp, more bitter and sinister as you walked forward, “See, if you hadn’t of gotten involved in something shady like loan sharks we wouldn’t be drowning in debt and mom wouldn’t have killed herself because of you and both your daughters wouldn’t hate you. I know you drink away all our money in some pathetic attempt to escape from the cold reality that you fucked up your whole life and watched your family slip from your fingers while not even trying to do anything other then put us in further shit,” You closed your eyes as you tilted your head, “But the least you could do, is admit that. You owe us at least that for being a total fuck up.” 
You opened your eyes to find pure rage brewing in your fathers eyes as you smiled once more, this time a false sense of sickly sweet tone to it as you shrugged, “Or you could live in denial, at this point, there really isn’t anything you can do to get anyone back ♡ ” 
You had turned around, planning to tell Nanami that maybe she should go sleep over at a friends house today but you never got the chance, suddenly being slammed into the wall and flecks of spit hitting your face, “I am your fucking father! I deserve respect from you and your worthless sister! Do you know how much I provide for you both?” 
Anger splintered through your veins as you grabbed onto his wrists, his fingers digging into your neck as you squirmed, “Like fucking what!? A shitty broken down apartment that your vacant from because you’re too fucking ashamed of yourself to even look at us sober!?” 
Much like years in the past you weren’t surprised to hear Nanami cry as she rushed out of the room at the sound of you both screaming, “Stop!” She cried out, trying to break you both up, “Stop! Don’t fight! Why…! Why can’t we all just get along!” She sobbed only for your dad to shove her down making her curl up in defeat. 
Alarm bells were triggered in your head at the sight of Nanami on the ground, she had never actually gotten hurt while in your sight and it was triggering something deep inside you as you watched him stalk up to her. Your hands shaking and rage boiling in your mind as you grabbed the closet thing you could find. An empty beer bottle on the table. 
Your vision blurred and you don’t quite remember what happened other than glass shattering over his head and the brute force of you shoving something before blood was stained on your hands. 
How did you end up sitting against the wall? Why was there….blood on your hands…? Your fingers trembled at the metallic sticky substance. All you could hear were Nanami’s sobs and cries as she frantically pushed herself away from the body slumped on the ground. 
“You…! He…!” Nanami’s eyes brimmed with tears as you heard a loud boom making you jump, your eyes darting to the open window where….fireworks, big and bold crashed and crackled before you felt like you were sucked into a vortex making your whole vision black out. 
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Your head felt fuzzy and there was ringing in your ears as you groaned, curling up into yourself as the darkness beckoned you closer before you forcibly opened your eyes. You were laying against the hardwood floor. Beams of light streaked through the window and you could see dust particles in the air against the shower of sunshine that streamed in. 
...Wait...Light? The thought had perplexed your head enough to make you push up from the ground, memories pulling into your mind as your breath became shallow, suddenly looking to the side where...you slumped against the wall. It must’ve just been a bad dream….your eyes flickered to Nanami’s curled up figure...a really vivid dream…? Something wrenched in your gut as you rubbed your eyes. What happened? “Nami…!” You whispered, forcing your muscles to move despite their protest as she whined. 
After another moment she reluctantly opened her eyes, flickering around before she suddenly scrambled up, taking a deep breath as if realizing what had happened before, looking towards where your dad once was she frowned, “...I...What…” She seemed just as perplexed as you and if her face was anything to go by, last night had obviously happened, “Is dad…” She looked at the absent place of the floor. 
Leaning against the wall your eyes darted around the room, “I guess so…” You silently felt relief at knowing your dad was still very much alive as you leaned back as you closed your eyes, trying to remember what had happened before everything went dark...oh..! The fireworks...had it been a celebration last night? Your brows pinched together, something felt...off...getting up you opened the door to the apartment walking out. 
“Y/n? Y/n! Hey! Where are you going!” Nanami called out, quickly chasing after you as you frowned, cars were parked odd and there was no one out on the street...as in...at all...Something was very wrong and you couldn’t figure out what. 
“Wow...it..must be a slow day…” Nanami felt a sense of discomfort at the lack of life as you both walked down the side walk, it didn’t just feel like a slow day it felt, apocalyptic. As if humanity just left on it’s own leaving nothing but an empty city behind. Cars were parked on the curb and a few even left in the street.
“No, it’s like everyone vanished...This is really weird.” You wrapped your arms around yourself as you frowned, looking around as you came closer to where typically it would be a booming part of the downtown but it was empty, just as everything before. 
“Well, maybe it’s a national holiday?” Nanami rubbed her head, trying to make sense of the situation just as much as you, surely everyone wasn’t...gone...right? She looked around as she bit her lip, second guessing herself at all the cars that were vacant, “Hey Y/n.” 
You paused as you looked at your sister, curving an eyebrow as she offered a weak smile, “What if everyone got raptured away like they talk about in christanity?” Your expression flattened as she giggled, obviously getting a rise out of you as you crossed your arms. 
Raptured? Where? To heaven? “Wouldn’t it be fire and brimstone then if that was the case?” Nanami pouted at your words as you shrugged, snickering yourself at her expression, the tables now turned as you sighed, “I don’t think there’s anyone left in Tokyo...I mean, it feels like...we’d have seen someone by now...right?” 
“Well…” Nanami frowned once more, a little disturbed at your words as she spoke, “There’s no way everyone could be gone I mean, where would they go? And how could we miss something like that...Maybe the police found us and now we’re under some weird simulation.” 
Chills spilled down your spine as you shoved her making her whine, “Don’t say that! That makes me feel all weird…! I didn’t…!” You cut yourself off, you didn’t what? Murder your own dad in cold blood...you looked down at your hands, they were free of any blood but it still felt like something like sin lingered. Like no matter where you went, it would always be stuck to you.
You didn’t like this, not one bit. Briefly you felt the urge to go hunt down your dad, he was a deadbeat but you would never...you’d never kill him....Right?
“Well…” Nanami hummed her eyes scanning ahead before they jumped to the mall that was up ahead, “Hey…! If nobody is here...maybe we could make use of it! Come on! Let's go!” You yelped at her grabbing your arm before dragging you ahead. Cars were all parked and yet not a single person exited through the mall's entrance. Something just felt off! You wrapped your arms around yourself as you warily looked around the empty mall, “Nanami I really don’t like this!” You looked around, concern bubbling inside you as she ran ahead into the store, digging through the section of clothes as she giggled. 
“Relax! I doubt any of this is real and even so…! Who’s going to stop us!?” She shrugged as she bounced in excitement, “Oh my god! I had dreamed of something like this happening! Now we can do whatever we want! Go wherever we want! Y/n!” She gasped with a smile, “Now we don’t even have to worry about money!” 
“We don’t even know if this is permanent.” You looked around warily, not partaking as she began plucking off the racks, “Regardless of what this is, I don’t like it. I want to go back home, our home. This just doesn’t…” You shook your head, “This just doesn’t feel right.” 
“Well you can feel that way!” Nanami clacked her tongue as she gave a childish smile, “But I’m gonna go through this whole store and get a new wardrobe so feel free to sit on the bench and tell me what you think looks good!” 
Looking away you sighed, unable to pinch the anxious feeling you had away as you sat down reluctantly as Nanami went into the changing room. Well...at least she was smiling and she was happy...With each outfit Nanami tried out and giggled, you giggled with her and maybe things weren’t so bad after all…
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“What a perfect day.” Nanami hugged you close as she sighed, yawning as you looked up at the sky in awe, you had seen a single star while living in Tokyo before, but now it was filled with constellations and millions of stars that stretched for miles. You could stare at it for days and days. The sun had just set a little over half an hour ago and you were ready to retire and find something to eat at the apartment. 
You and Nanami had tried going to the food court but much to your dismay everything had been...rotten...soiled and ruined, meaning there was no point in trying to find anything there and you were getting really hungry despite devouring bags of chips you had both got at the convenient store, another thing that stood out to you was that there was no electricity...at all..
Looking back up to the sidewalk something caught your eyes...was that…! Light!? “Hey! Nanami look!” You shook her making her squeak as she looked up ahead, “It’s the hospital! They have electricity there which means there’s other people! Of course! Why didn’t we think to check essential areas!? Come on! Lets go! I wanna figure out what happened.” 
“Alright! It sucks that this is already over but at least I can finally charge my phone, the battery is pretty low.” Nanami nodded in agreement as you both made your way up the road. 
The walk wasn’t too far and you felt excitement fill you at the sight of the hospital all lit up as you walked into the entrance, a frown slowly setting on your lips once more as you walked past the receptionist desk and…! Oh there’s other people! 
You felt relief wash over your as you ran up, there were at least seven other other people here at least! “Hey! Guys oh my god. I thought everyone was gone! What’s going on?” You asked, smiling bright in relief that you and Nanami weren’t the only ones left behind. Was this some kind of evac point or…?
Silence ensued and you slowly began to frown as you felt everyone stare at you as if you were insane, “Um…” You wrapped a hand around your arm, suddenly feeling as if everyone knew something you didn’t, “What’s going on…?” You furrowed your brows as you tilted your head, unsure of why everyone was looking at you like this. 
Somebody looked like they were going to talk to you, a guy relatively around your age but a woman stopped him- his girlfriend maybe? “Stop, the less that know the better chance we have.” She said quietly though you still heard just enough. Fear twisted inside you as you took a cautious step back...The...the less you knew? 
“Wow, you guys are assholes,” A girl suddenly whistled out, she was sitting in a waiting chair, a cowboy hat on her head paired with distressed jeans and...a bikini top? Strange but you’d roll with it if it meant getting answers. She stood up as she offered a smile, “Akari, nice to meet ya’. You folk must be new to the Borderlands huh?” She jutted her bottom lip a little as you frowned. 
“Um I’m Y/n and this is my sister Nanami...?” You introduced yourself despite feeling confused as you raised a brow, “Borderlands…?” You echoed, what was that supposed to be? Other than Tokyo?
Akari gave a nod as she let out a brief chuckle, as if amused by your confusion but you sensed she had no real ill will unlike....your eyes checked to the couple that stood off in the corner on their own, “That’s what they call it here,” She nodded in affirmation as your eyes darted back to her in confusion, “To be frank with ya’, I don’t have a damn clue what's going on. Nobody does. But ever since you crossed the threshold there’s no going back, so I’ll be brief. We’re all considered outsiders here and we participate in games at venues such as this to extend our stay.”
Nanami and you looked at one another confused as Akari waved you over to the table in front of a TV, “Here, you’ll wanna put these on, it’s for the game.” She explained as you carefully picked up the metal bracelet, something about it felt ominous as you reluctantly put it on, jumping at the way it latched together and there was no getting it off now, “Word of advice, just don’t panic and you probably won’t die.” 
“What?!” You screeched as Akari smacked your back, panic evident in your voice as you turned around to face her making her laugh again, this girl was insane! She had to be! “You’re…! You’re joking!” 
Akari wrinkled her nose as she tilted her head, “Ah shit, I wish I was- Oh…! There’s the last player!” Just on que everyone turned to look at who had arrived, someone heaving breaths with their hands on their knees as if they had sprinted. You were mildly worried at why he seemed so scared but you had a feeling that was the least of your problems right now.
“Y/n what’s going on…?” Nanami frightened grabbed your arm as she hid a little behind you due to all these immensing strangers that looked like they were ready to feed you to the sharks, literally. 
The guy walked past you both as he put on his bracelet, your eyes sharp as you watched it latch together automatically, your gaze jumping to everyone's wrists to notice you were all now wearing one. The TV suddenly lit up. 
Game 
You squinted your eyes a little at the sight of the screen, just what were you about to unwillingly participate in…?
Difficulty: 5♣
“The game you will be participating in is, Monster under the bed.”
A playing card? Monster under the bed? Your brows furrowed as you looked at Nanami who shrugged a little despite her concerned expression, looking just as confused as you. You could’ve made a joke out of this, surely it would’ve been easier. Maybe everyone would bust out laughing and you’d be at the end of a poor joke but...somehow you felt that wasn’t the case. Thus paying very close attention to whatever was on this screen, 
“Everyone will be sectioned off into pairs by the number chosen on your bracelet, when the doors to the ward open you will have three rounds ten minutes each to figure out who is the monster under the bed that must be returned to its own, once the ten minutes is up you must hide before you are found. If the selected pair that is the monster is chosen correctly it’s a Game Clear.  If the monster is not found by the end of the third round or if the pair fails to hide it’s a Game Over.” 
Rules: 
Once the doors are open you and your partner must find a hiding spot by the time limit
Both partners must be hidden. If one is exposed to the monster it’s a Game Over for both partners
There will be an X marked on the ground to place the monster of your guess onto. 
You will have three rounds of ten minutes each to find the monster.
Any attempt to remove bracelets results in a Game Over
If the monster is not found by the third round a Game Over.
The only Game Clear condition required is for the monster to be returned by the third round.
What…
What!? 
“Now the game will commence, you have five minutes to figure out who you have been paired up with before the doors open.”
Your mind was blanking as you watched everyone look down at their bracelet, hurriedly you lifted your arm as your mind blanked 2 looking back at Nanami her lips were already quivering as she sniffled lifting her arm in defeat as your lips dropped open, 5.
“Hey! Guess you’re my partner!” Akari grinned as she wrapped an arm around Nanami who sniffled, “Oh…” She looked between you both, “Oh! Oh don’t worry! We’re not the monster so I’ll make sure your sister lives! You should go find your partner.” 
Your hands trembled unsure of what to do before you went to hug Nanami, “Whatever happens just stay calm okay! I need to go find my partner now!” You whispered, kissing her cheek as she sniffled while nodding. 
Everybody was shuffling around looking for their partner now, you passed by a few people, 4, 1, 3...did you even have a partner…? You scanned around, your throat tightening a little in panic, there had to be a mistake! There were only 8 people surrounding you- you yelped at the tight grip that suddenly held your arm forcing you to turn around to be met with a white hooded figure, a lollipop handle hanging and earbuds in before sighing, “So it appears I’m stuck with someone useless.” The man concluded as he stood up making you back away a little as your lips parted somewhat indignantly. 
How...how rude! You looked up, unable to fully make out his face but you could tell you didn’t like him one bit, “I’ll…! First of all I’m not useless! I’m just trying to understand what's going on! This is insane! We aren’t actually going to die from this, are we!?” Pushing his hood down you were immediately met with a snide gaze and cat eyes that leered at you like you were nothing more then dirt beneath his feet, long blonde hair pushed behind his shoulders and his bangs hanging low, suddenly a viscous side smile appeared on his lips, “Apparently so, otherwise I wouldn’t have watched half my last game get their brains blown out and the other half hung.” 
You reeled a little away from the blonde, your face dropped in semi horror, unsure if this was just a sick joke or he was serious. You searched his face a thousand times over, but for the first time in your life, you couldn’t figure out what his goal was. You couldn’t figure out anything about him, except he was exceptionally cold, “Well I don’t suppose I have much choice to doubt you,” He said with an annoying sing song tone as he rattled his wrist that showed the bracelet with a matching 2 on it, “My name is Chishiya, just stay out of my way and we’ll both live.” 
How arrogant! You scoffed as he walked past you, not the least bit bothered at your offense as you whipped around, glaring at his back. How come out of everyone you got stuck with the most…! Pompous! Arrogant! Ugh! You crossed your arms as you followed behind him, stilling secretly sending daggers into his back with your eyes as everyone shuffled into the ward. 
Hospital beds were scattered around the room, a few closets and one large vent at the bottom right corner of the room ahead. 
“Wait, what is this?” The first person to speak was a fair thin older gentleman, he appeared friendly as he observed the room around him, everyone looked around in confusion as you noticed what he meant. 
Any possible hiding spot was covered by either sheets of metal or locked tight...How were any of you supposed to hide if…!? The rules mentioned nothing about solving puzzles to gain access to a hiding spot!
“Forget that,” Another man said with a sneer he was broad and a bit older, well into his late twenties at least, perhaps a gym coach? Or maybe a wrestler of some sort? He looked like he could break you and nearly every other person in this room like a twig, “We need to figure out who’s the monster. “ He cracked his knuckles as you leered a little away and nobody spoke for a second. 
Of course, who would out themselves as the monster, more importantly, how does one even know they’re the monster? You could immediately feel tension rise as the previous, more patient man spoke, a little more collected, “How about we just check one another's’ watches! If anywhere it would show us on that! One pair should work on solving these puzzles here so everyone has a place to hide” 
“Unless the monster is among us and it sabotages us so we all die by the time limit.” The girlfriend crossed her arms as she darted her eyes around. Truthfully you didn’t know what to believe, the wording on the soundbox was rather confusing as to just what were you looking for. Was the monster supposed to be in the group or it’s own entity?
“If that were the case it would’ve showed up on our watches, which it didn’t. So that won’t work.” Chishiya spoke matter of fact, his tone cool as his eyes gazed across the room before he walked away from the group inspecting various hiding spots granted you didn’t think he was about to help anyone but himself, if anything you were at least lucky that him securing a hiding spot meant it was one for you as well. 
You looked at everyone in confusion, some arguing while others scattered to look for a hiding spot as the clock ticked down. You breathed in relief at the sight of Nanami and Akari both going for a bed to hide under. Your gaze finally found Chishiya’s form before following him, unsure of what you were supposed to do, if anything outside trying to figure out just what the monster even was. 
You glanced up at the digital clock that stood above the entrance you had just come in from, it was already a minute in before you searched the floor where you found a red X in the center of the room, that must’ve been the...what? Offering spot? You cringed a little at the idea. Looking forward you peered behind Chishiya’s shoulder deciding to not think about that, it seemed the metal sheet that had wrapped around the bed and was sealed to the ground was locked by some sort of metal device…? Contraption? Lock?
“Isn’t hiding under a bed a bit obvious…?” You frowned as you crossed your arms, unsure as you looked behind your shoulder once more to where accusations were already being thrown in the group. 
“The vent is a decoy to make you waste time, I already checked,” Chishiya replied, his fingers nimble as they rattled the metal, “And even if someone were to accomplish it in the time limit it’s the most obvious spot the monster would first check. Next would be the closet given it’s at eye level and the first thing one is drawn too when they walk into a room.” 
Your lips parted a little in surprise at his assessment...obviously he wasn’t just overconfident, “And why this spot?” If he had really thought about all this in less than a minute then...did he have a reason for this spot? You now found yourself, slightly less annoyed and a little more curious as to what was going on in his mind. 
“If the monster were to check a bed it would be after his eyes are drawn to the closet. Next in that line of sight would be the vent directly across it, which would be his next place to look if not his first and vice versa. The beds are all staggered throughout the room making them less conspicuous compared to the other hiding places, the bed on the far end of the room would be no good.” 
Your brows furrowed in curiosity at his assessment as you watched Chishiya blow a piece of hair from his face, wiggling out one piece of the knotted metal, “It’s too far from the entrance where as the one in the middle is by average the one most people would start with, where as the first? It’s almost too soon in the start to look there thus making it the safest.” 
“It’s them! They’re over there conspiring!” You both twisted around to watch the broad man point an accusing finger at you both as your eyes darted from him to the clock on the wall, which read at six minutes. A few other pairs, relievingly so was your sister had started working on a hiding spot while a few others stood around and argued. 
Your face coiled a little as you replied, not appreciating the accusation to such a baseless accusation, did they not realize the longer they argued the less time they had to secure a hiding spot? “Someone who’s terrible at playing the minority would often be the first to point fingers. There’s only six minutes left before the first round is over and we need to hide. But if you want to talk about this then sure,” 
You stepped closer as you crossed your arms, scanning over him before continuing, “Let’s talk about the chances of you being the monster, ever since you first came in you’ve been all twitchy and acting like something is wrong. Even when we first got paired up, you seemed a little panicked. Anyways,” You turned around as you spoke, “How do we know one pair is a monster and not one single person?” 
“Eh,” Akari sat on the bed that her and Nanami chose as Nanami fumbled to work out the puzzle, she had always been good at those! You felt assured as your heart beat frantically at the idea of them not being able to get a hiding spot in time, “Let’s all calm down,” She gave an awkward laugh, “This isn’t a hearts game, we shouldn’t divide our trust. This is a team building after all which means this game should be making us work together, the last thing we need to do is throw that away on our own accord.” 
“...Team building?” You frowned as you murmured having not been aware that this was some sort of game category...Hearts? Clubs? The memory of the playing card flashing on the screen appeared in your mind again, right...was that to stand for some kind of game genre? If Clubs stood for team building then...there should be no reason that the monster is any of you. Why would they even suggest that to begin with?
Then...what was the monster? 
“One minute remaining.”
The lights suddenly began flickering, “Got it.” Chishiya yanked the last piece of metal undone as he pulled the sheet of metal off, everyone was now scrambling and the few who had not done their puzzle were now panicking. Getting down you crawled under the bed, your back flat to the ground as you inhaled sharply as you noticed the lights beginning to dim, “This is...uncomfortable.” You mumbled, trying to ignore being pressed shoulder to shoulder with a man you didn’t even know besides him having a god complex, “We should’ve went with the vent.” 
“By all means, if you want to try and get yourself killed already. Go for it.” You turned to look at him, dark endless cat eyes meeting you as you harshly glared at him, why was he so condescending!? 
You were about to snap back something before you realized it was completely dark and the door slammed open causing you to jump. Was your heart always this loud? You could see the heavy boots step against the ground making you unsteadily inhale, swallowing as you closed your eyes. You could only place your trust that Chishiya hadn’t picked a horrible spot. 
More importantly your mind was plagued with worry for your sister, you had been so caught up you hadn’t even tried to help her yet...did she even…! You heard a sudden loud scream from two people causing you to stiffen as you looked up at the bed frame lined with wooden planks. You could only cower back down at blood suddenly painting the floor.
Your stomach suddenly churned as you covered your mouth. So he wasn’t lying. Chishiya however looked just as nonpulsed as he did when he first told you himself, his eyes blankly staring up at the bed frame as if this was just a regular game of hide and seek as people screamed as they were torn apart. 
Or that’s at least what you assumed it was. 
After an agonizing few minutes the doors finally closed and the lights flickered back on making you breath in relief as you waited a moment, could you even bear to face what was waiting on the floor? You winced a little before something caught your eye. What was with all this extra wood stuck in the frame? 
Chishiya had already gotten out from under the bed and before you suddenly heard a few girls scream, your sister among them making you puff and breath as you scrambled from beneath the bed.
Standing up your mouth agape at the horrid sight of the female and the broad male that had been too focused on accusing others, they didn’t have...enough time...it looked like they had been completely mutilated, blood pouring on the floor and the smell made you want to gag as you looked away. 
“Well, now what do we do.” Akari scratched her head, also not looking phased that two people had just been brutally killed. Your eyes stayed placed on the bodies before they slowly trailed to your hands, the memory of blood staining them still fresh in your mind. 
“Well we have to figure out where the monster is?” The girlfriend of the couple spoke up, she looked around somewhat suspiciously, “But I’m not sure where we could find it? Maybe it has to do with the bracelets? Maybe there’s a clue hidden.” 
“Oh what about in the cabinets?” The collected man from before offered as he went to search the cabinets, your frown furthered as you glanced around. Everyone was now getting along, still on edge but along at least. 
Chishiya only leaned against the wall, his hands in his pocket as he rolled the lollipop in his mouth, his gaze the same steely one it was before as if he had done his job in securing his temporary salvation and was now done. 
Or maybe he just didn’t know what to do? It was obvious his strength didn’t lie in teamwork, clearly. But then again, you weren’t sure what was going on, you couldn’t get a read on him. Crossing your arms you stayed beside him, your eyes briefly washing over your sister who was working Akari to dig through a desk together. 
“Cabinets and drawers are too obvious.” 
Chishiya’s eyes flickered to your figure, his expression just as cold if not...a little smug maybe? He said nothing in return as you continued, “If we’re looking for a monster, it’s obvious it’s a metaphor for something. Inanimate most likely,” Your eyes flickered around the room, inhaling sharply, why did it feel like the answer was right in front of you? 
Think…! You glanced at the clock, only six minutes left. The rounds were really short…! “It’d be something small and inconspicuous, something that’s in plain sight….but easy to miss...and the game said it was a pair which means there’s more than likely two.” 
“Three,” You glanced at Chishiya as he spoke, pulling the lollipop from his mouth, that permanent smug look on his face as he answered, “Two is what they want you to think and if you spend a round searching for each like they hope it’s game over by three.” 
You rubbed your neck as you frowned, “It’s already the second round and we haven’t even found one…” You glanced around before you suddenly perked up, “Wait…!” Getting back down on the floor you laid on your back as you pushed yourself under the bed, “Chishiya! Help me get this thing out!” 
Within a moment the blonde appeared as well, his eye sharp and keen as they noticed straight away what you were tugging at, “You think this is the monster?” 
You looked at him as you raised a brow, “We have less than four minutes left on our second round, you have a better idea?” Chishiya said no more but helped regardless, successfully with the both of you maneuvering it around from beneath the wooden boards you managed to get it out. 
Holding it up you looked at it, “It’s a poppet doll.” You turned to face him as you smiled in accomplishment, “They’re typically used as curses to place upon people in folklore. If anything is a monster, this would be it.” 
Excited at your first victory you pulled out from beneath the bed as you waved it up, “Hey guys! We need to start looking for something similar to this! If not a replica.” Everyone huddled around you examining the doll before the microphone sounded, “One minute remaining.”
Everyone had immediately scrambled back to their hiding place as you ran to the red X, placing the poppet on it, that's the reason that had to be there right!? You’d just have to see, hurriedly you ran back to your spot under the bed. Making it just in time as the lights flickered off. 
The door slamming open once more as you slowly inhaled, it had to work right? If not...then you were at a loss for what to search for and you were utterly screwed. 
The boots stomped against the floor past the bed as you closed your eyes, unable to calm yourself. After a moment you heard a screech and something rip open before screams followed making you jump. Chishiya’s eyes were on the feet that stood by the closet that had been obviously ripped open. 
You heard the sound of something wet and a gurgle before a body slumped to the floor and you could hear begging before something got snapped in half causing you to close your eyes once more...Did you make it angry!? Was that not it? Fuck. You had never felt this stressed before as it roamed around, passing in front of your bed as you tensed.
Was this your last moment alive? Truly? 
Much to your relief, the door closed once more before the lights followed, flickering on, relaxing a little you sighed as you reluctantly got out from underneath the bed with Chishiya to see what had happened. Much to your horror it was the man who had been so kind this whole game and his partner. 
The monster didn’t check anywhere in the first round, yet he did this round? You tried to block out the bodies slumped in the corner as you glanced at the red X, the poppet doll gone. 
“Why- why were they killed!” Nanami’s eyes began to water as she grabbed her head, “This makes no sense!” 
“If it accepts the doll that means we only need two more. What happened to them is irrelevant.” Chishiya stuffed his hands back into his pocket as you glared at him sideways, not appreciating his careless tone. You could deal with it, but you didn’t want your sister dragged into it. 
Grabbing your chin you thought about it for a moment, “Well...the game said to return the monster to its own and…” You glance down at the X, was there some kind of unsaid rule that if you didn’t get all three of them on the first try that it would start hunting down players? “How would a mother feel if they only returned one of its children?” 
“This thing doesn’t have feelings,” The girlfriend of the partners replied coldly, her eyes like steel of her own as she clung to her boyfriend, “It’s as he said,” She waved to Chishiya, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll be like them if we don’t figure this out.” 
You glanced around the room, “Tell me this, if it doesn’t matter, then why did they give us all these different hiding spots?” Everyone was silent, all eyes on you as if your question didn’t make any sense, your eyes flickered to the clock that was nearing eight minutes, you didn’t have time to monologue, “No think about it. The monster never intended to look for us- that was never stated in the rules. So why did they give us all of these choices if we only needed one per pair? My point being, if we found one poppet in our hiding spot then...You get where I’m going with this? Chishiya.” 
He glanced up at you acknowledgement as you curved a brow, your lips threatening to tug into a smile as you tilted your head, “How confident are you in solving that vent?” 
He glanced back down and for the first time, you watch a cocky wide smirk twist onto his lips, “You’re lucky to have someone as smart as me here to be able to open it.” You tucked your tongue into your cheek as in annoyance as he sauntered over to the vent already getting to work, “As for everyone else, we need to open up as many of these as possible to find the other two.” 
Everyone immediately scrambled to get to work, with only seven minutes on the clock this was...going to be difficult. First Nanami and Akari searched all the opened spots as you worked on another bed. Rubbing your head as muttered, “Shit...I never was good with puzzles.” You awkwardly hung your head in defeat temporarily, briefly letting your eyes shift to Chishiya who was fiddling with several locks, his gaze sharp and you couldn’t even imagine all the calculations going on in his mind. You were somewhat envious of what it would be like to be that perceptive to anything adhering to logic and solution. 
“Aha! Found one!” Akari yanked the poppet from the top of the closest as Nanami covered her mouth, looking like she was gonna throw up being so close to so many dead bodies. You ignored the grisly sight at the second victory of the poppet doll. Akari quickly placed it on the X as you began to work on the puzzle once more, looking up at the clock. Oh no...Oh no there was only three minutes left!
“Chishiya! Hows that puzzle coming along.” You called out, trying not to sound alarmed but you could see the clear cut annoyance on his face as he continued working through the locks, “If you’d like to help while struggling on a novice lock feel free.” He replied condescendingly, not appreciating the pressure. 
You rolled your eyes with huff as you finally managed to get it undone, feeling triumphant as you searched under the bed but there was no luck, “There’s nothing here!”
“Or here!” 
Several people called out as well as you rubbed your head, standing up, “If the only other place that hasn’t been searched is the vent then maybe there’s only two? It did say a pair.” You felt a lump of anxiety well in your chest at the sight of the clock ticking close to a minute and half. 
“Should we really take the risk?” The boyfriend asked as he rubbed his neck, concern on his face as he looked around, “If we’re wrong then we’ll all…” 
You hadn’t even thought of that…
“...! Hey.” You turned to Chishiya who seemed to be trying to get your attention making you immediately come over, if he was asking for you it’d have to be for something important given there was nearly less then two minute on the clock, “Hold this right here.” He immediately pushed your hand onto the lock right where he wanted it, “This is a two handle mechanism meaning that there needs to be two people unlocking it. Push down and out at the same time.”
“Hide! Everyone needs to hide now!”
The lights were beginning to flicker as everyone scrambled to hide, stress evidently put on your shoulders now more than ever. You could only hope he was right with your life on the line, “Now!” You pushed down on your side, the lock sliding as you pulled out, pulling a piece of metal holding up the lock directly out as Chishiya did the same with his side. 
The lock fell off as well as the metal of the gate of the vent, you immediately with no hesitation leaned inside it was dark and hard to make it out anything besides the steep drop off. So he was right, this was a waste of time for a hiding place. 
Looking down you caught sight of wood before laughing in relief, “It’s here! Wait shit! Chishiya! It’s too far down in the vent, you’re gonna have to lower me down to reach it. Time?” 
“Forty five seconds.” You felt unfamiliar hands on your hips lifting you up as you were lowered down, “We have time.” 
You squinted trying to see as you reached down, “Lower me further! I’m not quite in reach,” Your muscles began to ache in your shoulder as you reached harder, growling in frustration, “Time!?” You were lowered a little further, the wooden poppet brushing against your fingers. 
“Thirty seconds! Could you go a little faster?” 
“Could you lower me a little quicker- Ah! Hey did you almost let go!?” You snarled back, grabbing the poppet doll, giving a good yank as it lodged in between the crevice it was in, “Get me back up! I got it. Time!” 
“Twenty seconds.” Chishiya called back, pulling you up as you gasped, pain from the metal jabbing into your stomach evident as you were met with a darkening room. Setting your feet firmly on the floor your eyes flew to the flock fifteen seconds and your spot was all the way across the room….! 
“Where are we supposed to hide!? We can’t get all the way there in time!” You hissed out running to the X as you dropped the poppet down. The lights shut off as the final five seconds counted down and before you could do anything you were shoved to the floor as you squeaked. Your body throbbing in pain and your mouth immediately covered as you were met with the coverage of a bed but neither one of you were bold enough to try and scramble beneath it as the doors slammed open. 
Fuck.
Your whole body was tense as your eyes squeezed shut, you were just a little ahead of the X here, if this is all the poppet dolls...they’d have no reason to go further into the room...unless...Your hand squeezed tight around the wrist of the hand that covered your mouth as you tried to calm yourself at the loud thudded footsteps. 
It was quiet for a moment before you heard more walking before the doors closed. 
“Game Cleared”
The lights turned on as you fell limp against the side of the bed, Chishiya’s hand removed from mouth as you pushed your hair from your face, closing your eyes as you breathed in relief, “Holy shit.” Was all you could mutter to yourself, you had never been more grateful to breathe air in your whole life. 
“I guess you weren’t that useless after all huh.” Chishiya clacked his tongue as you turned your head to look at him, raising your brows as your face contorted into something between insult and amusement. 
You’ve only known this man for a half an hour and yet...something about his words, if you dug down deep past that smug expression of his, was this a compliment? Looking away you pressed your tongue into your cheek, trying to keep from smiling, “Yeah, and you’re still conceited and arrogant but, I guess you have a good reason to be.” You glanced back at him again but you could hardly hold his gaze, something in that brief moment was electrified between you both as you laughed somewhat sheepishly, closing your eyes as you looked away once more. 
What the fuck was even wrong with you? If this was back before today you would’ve totally kicked this guy in the balls and went about your day.
“Y/n!” You straightened up at the sound of Nanami’s voice, your expression brightening as you stood up, quickly running to her as you hugged her tight, “I can’t believe that just happened…” She whispered to you as she pressed her face into your neck. You couldn’t either but, you were thankful you had survived this game. Whatever it was. 
“Come on, let's get out of this room.” You tugged on her arm, no longer wanting to be in this death room despite knowing it was all over. Pulling her out you paused at the sight of the TV and a...register…? You bracelet unlocked as you took it off, tossing it on the table as you tilted your head. 
“Congratulations Game ''Clear ``.''
“...Now issuing visas to those who survived the game…?” You furrowed your brows as you glanced at Nanami who rubbed her head in confusion. You grabbed the receipt as you looked it over with a frown before picking up the 5 of clubs playing card along with it. Odd. 
“It’s how many days you’re allowed to stay now! Almost a whole week, that's a good score for a first game!” Akari called out as she patted your back making you jump a little. 
Almost a whole week…”Until we have to play again to...continue our stay?” You raised a brow, deciding not to ask what happens if you refused. While you had many questions, you had a feeling you knew the answer to that one. 
A part of you couldn’t even believe this had happened, or was it all still a dream. 
“Hey…! Sorry for all of that in there,” You turned to see...oh…! It was the boyfriend of the partner, the gifrlfriend stayed behind looking brooding, “I’m Ryu and that’s my girlfriend Hiroko I was...ah…” He faltered a little, rubbing the back of his neck as his gaze flittered to his girlfriend who was glaring him down, “You should stop by the Beach- I...I think you guys would make good additions! Bye!” He hurried not even finishing his original sentence before scurrying off making you furrow your brows at what he even meant. 
“The hell?” Akari raised a brow as she watched the guy run off, “Seems to me he wanted to chat more…guess we know who's really pulling balls in that relationship.” 
Nanami suddenly snickered, covering her mouth as she giggled, “Hey Akari! Why don’t we stay together! We did really well in the game together!” 
“Awh shit, if you guys really want me too!” Akari offered a quirky smile as you laughed, you had no problems with someone staying behind with you. Looking past Akari your smile faded a little at the sight of a white hoodie exiting the entrance. 
“Hey- I’ll be right back!” You pushed past the both of them who paid you no mind as you pushed out of the exit and down the stone steps, not sure why your feet were making you chase after such an egotistical man but…!
“Chishiya!” You called out, making the man pause, he turned around, pulling the earbuds out as he glanced up from his hoodie, raising his brows in acknowledgement, “Um…” Why did you even chase after him…? You stepped down the last step as you wrapped your arms around yourself. 
It was silent for a moment as you berated yourself internally for why you seemed so speechless all of a sudden. Chishiya however didn’t seem to mind, his eyes absent now as he stared up at the hospital, “I used to do my clinical rotations here.” 
You were broken out of your silent thrashing of internal humiliation as you raised your brows, lips parting in curiosity as you asked, “You were a doctor?” 
“No,” Chishiya snorted, that amused calico look of his on his face once more as he looked down at you, “I was a medical student. Training to be a doctor but that obviously didn’t happen…” His lips curved into a frown, his eyes cold once more as they looked back up at the building, “I came here tonight to see if anyone I knew would be here.” 
“Oh…” You looked away, feeling somewhat awkward and unsure of how to reply to him as silence took over once more beside the occasional rustling of the wind in the tree’s, the urge to speak overtaking you to the point you couldn't resist, “Chishiya...I…” You looked away, feeling somewhat bashful, “We...made a really good team back there.” You forced yourself to look up at him as you offered a bright yet subtly shy smile, “If you want...you could stay with us…?” 
Chishiya pulled the lollipop stick from his mouth, letting it drop to the ground as he spoke, “No thanks.” You turned to him in surprise as you frowned a little, you shouldn’t have expected anything less…
“Oh...I understand.” You offered a weak smile as he turned his back on you and began to walk once more, “I just have one more question,” You called out causing him to pause, “...Do you by any chance know about a place called the Beach?”
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Note: Whew...! As a lurker in the Alice in borderland fandom I saw a lot of people complaining about the lack of Chishiya fics so I decided to volunteer myself and take on for the team to write a series for this little blonde fucker so PLEASE let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy!! Also
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bakusquad-assemble · 3 years
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hiya lol could you write a bakugou x reader and (they're dating already) and he's just being soft for her and cuddling in his dorm and he starts tickling her and she's screaming n stuff so the class rush in and are totally not expecting to see bakugou practically sat on reader and tickling her, lol no pressure obvs lol
Ahhhh thank you so so much for the request,lovely!! I really enjoyed writing this one so I hope you like it! Soft boy Bakugou has my whole heart! I’m very slowly making my way through my request inbox, but feel free to send me more prompts to get the creative juices flowin!
Bakugou Katsuki was never one to show affection so openly like his other classmates would with their significant others. He was a reserved person, and the idea of PDA had always embarrassed him. So when the two of you had started dating, you were very aware of how he reacted to being touched, and respected him enough to never poke or prod in public. What took you by surprise though, was how different he was in your private company. The once prickly and standoffish boy couldn’t keep his hands off of you. At first it was jarring, his warm arms around you feeling so foreign and new, but you couldn’t help but relish in it. Sometimes you even found yourself teasing the poor touch deprived boy to see how much he needed your body against his. It was cruel, sure, but also incredibly validating to have Bakugou huff and puff until you paid attention to him. Today was one of those days.
Bakugou made his way to your dorm room after class as he did everyday, his textbooks from class slung over his shoulder in his book bag, fully intent to study and spend some quality time with you. Just being in your presence always had a calming effect on the explosive boy, so he found himself drawn to you every chance he got. He knocked once on your door before letting himself in, tossing his bag to the floor and locking his crimson eyes onto your form. You were already sitting at your desk, head buried in your book and head nestled in the palm of your hand. You made no movement in his direction, instead keeping your eyes glued to the pages before you.
“Hey, Suki.” You smiled softly at his presence, earning a grunt in return. He threw himself onto your bed, looking over at you longingly but still said nothing as he pulled out his own papers and got to work. The two of you sat in silence for a bit, a smirk ever present on your face. You could feel the boy's frustration radiating off his body and knew that it would only be a matter of time before he got sick of the lack of contact. Bakugou cleared his throat and you lifted your head ever so slightly.
“You okay? You need some water or something?” You teased, finally turning to look at him over your shoulder. He was looking at you with furrowed brows, a light flush spread across his cheeks.
“why the fuck are you still sitting over there?” He asked, trying his best not to sound desperate, but a little seeped through. You could’ve melted on the spot from his tone.
“I’m doing my work.” You stated plainly, turning your back to him once more to hide your smile. You could hear him growl at your response.
“Yeah no shit dumbass, but why are you doing it over there? You don’t want to spend time with me or somethin?” He tried his best to look anywhere but you, feeling the embarrassment overtake him. You could hear the distress in his voice and you couldn’t help but let out the laugh you’ve been stifling. He was so needy and you loved it. You put down your pen on the desk and turned completely in your chair, finally facing your red faced boyfriend.
“the fuck you laughing at?” He looked confused, trying to flesh out the meaning of your behavior.
“Aw what’s the matter, Katsuki? Does someone need attention?” You teased again, your head cocked to the side toyingly. You saw his demeanor change immediately. The once confused expression was replaced with a devious grin as realization hit him like a ton of bricks. You were fucking with him.
“Oh, you little shit!” Bakugou jumped off of his place on the bed and rushed at you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you from the chair roughly. You couldn’t stop the loud scream that escaped your mouth, echoing throughout the room and cascading down the hallway of the dorms.
“Tryin to mess with me, huh?” He snickered into your ear, holding you against his body tightly as you tried to fight against his hold. Laughter bubbled out of your throat as Bakugou picked you up with ease, slinging you over his shoulder and making his way back to his previous spot in the room. Despite your kicking and playful fighting, Bakugou’s grip on you barely wavered. He slammed your body down onto the bed and climbed on top of you, a shit eating grin plastered on his face.
“Well now I’m gonna make you pay for that.” His voice was sinister, dangerous, and you had no doubt that he meant business. Panic washed over you, and your fighting against the blondes grip got more frantic.
“No no no!” You laughed nervously, the sound mimicking that of a person in immediate danger, a scream of terror, but you were smiling and so was your boyfriend.
“Too late, you made me mad and now you’ve got to pay for it.” He let his hands live on your hips for a second, relishing in the feeling of your presence, before digging his calloused fingers into the sides of your body. Bakugou’s tickles were vicious, but there was still a certain softness to his hands. He let them roam your body, feeling every curve and smooth expanse of skin. His laugh cascaded around you like snow flurries, beautiful but bitting. To everyone but you, the sound was devious, Filled with malicious intent, but you knew better. So you laughed too. You laughed so hard that you could barely breathe.
“S-stop! Stop please, it hurts!” You felt your lungs burning, your chest tightening uncomfortably as Bakugou’s tickles only got more intense. You let out another scream, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you tried to fight off the strong blonde boy on top of you. It was no use though, he easily overpowered you in your current state. You thought about using your quirk to get him off of you, but honestly you didn’t really want him to stop. You loved feeling his hands wander your body, feeling his hot breath against the crook of your neck. It was intoxicating.
“In your dreams, y/n! You’re fucking dead!” You screamed once again, this time much louder, cowering from the anticipation of his punishment, but it never came. Instead you heard your door swing open, hitting the wall with some force. Both of you jumped at the sudden noise, and the sudden appearance of some familiar faces standing on high alert in your doorway. Bakugou made no motion to move from on top of you, instead shooting a dangerous glare towards the four idiots that had just made their appearance, their voices ringing in his ears like gunfire.
“Y/n?? Are you okay?” Mina’s voice echoed throughout the room immediately
“We heard screaming! Is everyone alright?” Kirishima spoke up next, his voice laced with obvious concern. The four figures froze in the doorway as they took in the actuality of the scene, a blush fighting its way fervently up Bakugou’s neck. Kaminari and Sero attempted to stifle their laughter, but to no avail.
“Oh ho ho, shit!” Looks like we had the wrong idea!” Kaminari snickered, bumping Sero in the side with his elbow.
“Damn, you two sure do have a weird way of gettin it on!” Sero chuckled, causing Kaminari to laugh even harder.
“Come on man, don’t kink shame them!” Kaminari’s stupid voice had Bakugou seething with rage.
“DON'T YOU FUCKERS KNOW HOW TO KNOCK?” Bakugou’s voice bellowed throughout the room, causing you to wince just from sheer proximity. Your face was a light shade of pink from being found in a compromising position, but Bakugou’s was fire engine red. Kirishima shifted awkwardly in his spot, bumping Kaminari hard in an attempt to get him to stop laughing.
“We’re sorry, Bro! It just...sounded like Y/n needed help! that’s all! We were all chilling in Mina’s room down the hall and heard her screaming!” Kirishima pleaded apologetically, clearly shaken that he had overstepped in such a personal way for the angry blonde. The last thing he ever wanted to do was make his best friend angry or uncomfortable.
“JUST GET OUT BEFORE I KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!” Bakugou yelled again, this time effectively stifling the laughter coming from Kaminari and Sero. Mina let out a soft giggle, ushering the terrified boys out of the room in one swift motion, feigning confidence to hide her own fear of being blown to bits.
“Alright guys, nothin’ to see here! I think we should give these two love birds their privacy.” You could feel Bakugou growl softly at her words, causing you to chuckle into your hand. Mina gave you a wink and a flirty little wave as she closed the door behind her, leaving you and Bakugou alone once more. Bakugou quickly took a pillow from your bed and chucked it at the door as it closed as hard as he could, making contact with a loud thud and earning a screech of terror from the other side of the door.
There was a moment of silence between the two of you before laughter cascaded from your lips. Bakugou looked back at you with wild eyes, clearly confused by the sudden noise of happiness.
“The fuck are you laughing about now?” You shook your head and wiped your eyes before looking back at him, a smile ever present on your face.
“It’s just...of course they had to barge in like that! They never cease to amaze me. ” You let your smile fade slightly as your hand reached out to caress his cheek. He hesitated for a second before allowing his form to melt into your touch.
“I’m sorry, Katsuki. Are you okay? I know you don’t like letting people see you like that. ” Your soft voice enveloped him, causing him to nod ever so slightly into your hand.
“M’fine. Those dumbasses just get under my fucking skin.” You let out a soft laugh, nodding with him.
“I mean, at least we know they’d come save me if I was ever being murdered.” Bakugou let an exhale of breath from his nose, the corners of his lips upturning ever so slightly.
“I’d get there first.” His confident tone was masked with warmth, a tone you recognized all too well. It was the same tone he talked in when he talked about your future together. It was filled with love. You rolled your eyes, but you still let the smile rest on your lips. You pulled Bakugou down next to you, keeping your eyes locked onto his crimson ones.
“ I know you would.” You whispered before bringing your lips to meet his in a loving kiss. It was short-lived contact, but still sent a shiver up Bakugou’s spine. He never expected to fall in love, never once imagined he’d let himself be so vulnerable in front of another human, but there was something about you that broke him down. Every single wall he had made that he believed to be impenetrable, you demolished with a single kind and understanding smile. And while Bakugou never imagined himself falling in love, he had unequivocally and irrevocably, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He pulled you in close to his chest, letting you rest your head there as he let himself savour the gentle sounds of your breath. He ran his hands through your hair gently as he felt you speak up once more, the words escaping your mouth causing a surge of pride to rush through the blonde boy's body.
“you’re my hero, after all.”
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nicobaka · 3 years
Text
CLEARING UP AND EXPLAINING SOME THINGS THAT PEOPLE TEND TO MISUNDERSTAND ABOUT GRAY, JUVIA, AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP
(warning: spoilers. It's also gonna be some LONG ass shit lmao. Sorry for typos in advance)
I heard a lot of people hating Gruvia for things that they misunderstood (or just straight-up dismiss/ignore) about the ship, and so I thought I'd clear up and explain some of those here because I just think all this hate towards the ship is unnecessary especially when most of their reasons of why they hate the ship aren't really valid or reasonable.. I mean, yeah, you can dislike and hate it all you want, we all have different preferences. But the level of hate Gruvia gets for reasons that are already proven false and untrue is just unbelievable. Like people saying Gray is somehow "controlled" by Juvia, or that Gray has "Stockholm syndrome" when Juvia never even tried to kidnap Gray... And worse is when people start to spread misinformation and slander the ship, spreading hate and negativity towards the ship for reasons that are again, proven to be untrue.
[ GRAY'S BIG TSUNDERE ASS ]
Gruvia is not one-sided, it's just that Gray's a big frickin Tsundere and that he refuses to show affection, so he may come off as cold to her sometimes. Although later on he realized that he should accept his feelings for Juvia rather than pushing her away and trying to run away from his own feelings before he regrets it, so now he has become less of a Tsundere and is trying to become a better person for her (but still a Tsundere lmao)
[ GRAY'S PAST AND CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ]
Gray does not dislike nor hate Juvia, even from the very beginning after they just met. Hell, even right after their fight in their first meeting. After their first actual meeting, Gray even helped her, saved her, made her happy, and even smiled with her. He wouldn't have done all that if he disliked her. He wouldn't have said he has no problem with Juvia joining the guild if he disliked her. He wouldn't hang around with Juvia inside and even outside the guild if he disliked her. He wouldn't have worried and felt bad about her not passing the exam of he disliked her. He wouldn't have carried her running away from danger even though she already said she can run away by herself if he disliked her. He wouldn't have agreed to going out with Juvia, which clearly meant as a date to her, if he disliked her. He wouldn't have lived with her for half a year if he disliked her. He would have agreed with Juvia leaving him alone if he disliked her, but instead he hugged her, thanked her, and cried on her arms. He wouldn't have sacrificed himself for her safety if he disliked her.... I can go on and on for hours with this honestly. But the point is, he clearly doesn't dislike nor hate Juvia. He even said he's grateful for having Juvia always by his side.
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It's just he didn't wanna get too attached to her. He has always thought ever since as a child that it's his responsibility / fault whenever someone he cares for dies. He blames himself for it, consciously or unconsciously, and puts the burden upon himself. He feels like whenever he gets too attached to someone, they would leave him and when that happens it'll be his fault. That's the reason why he seemed cold to her sometimes, it's that he doesn't wanna get too attached to her, afraid that she would just leave him like the others...
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"I'm going to avenge my mother and father!"
"I wasn't... able to do anything..."
"It's your fault, Gray." (Lyon)
"It's my fault that Ul died 10 years ago"
"No matter how much time pass, it won't change the fact that it's my fault Ul's dead!"
"I lost both mother and daughter..."
Him trying to push Juvia away by being cold to her is most likely something he did unconsciously, since he himself wasn't really sure about his feelings for her and having the fear of loosing his loved ones before, at least when it was just starting. But as we already know, his attempt of trying to not get too attached to her wasn't successful. It didn't have any chance of being successful to begin with since the reason why he didn't want to get too attached to her and why he had developed the fear of loosing her in the first place is because he's already attached to her from the beginning. He was the one to save her, worries about her a lot, cares for her, protects her, and spends a lot of his time with her, which made him even more attached to her. Which explains his expression at that one recent official Gruvia art which some fans didn't like... He looks like he feels like he shouldn't fall in love with Juvia, but he really just can't help it.
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And when it actually almost happened, when Juvia almost killed herself for him, it finally became clear to him what he feels about her, and he realized that it was stupid and cowardly for him to try and avoid Juvia and his very own feelings, because of his damned childhood trauma. He could've lost all the chances he had with her forever, with all those efforts she spent on him all be put in vain. And now that he realized this, that doesn't make the fear of loosing her disappear. It can't be erased just like that. But instead of avoiding, hiding, and keeping his feelings like before, he's trying to improve and be a better person for her that can protect her no matter what.
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[ THE LOVE POTION THINGY IS NOT CANON ]
The episode about Juvia buying potions made her look bad for some fans. It was not in the Manga. It's not canon. The part where Lucy expected Natsu to confess (which was seen in the same episode) is canon, since it is from the Manga. But the part where Juvia buys love potion and uses it to try and get Gray is not in that chapter, nor is it in any chapter in the manga, meaning it's not canon and is an anime-only part. Well personally I found it quite funny, but some fans really hated Juvia on that one.
[ JUVIA IS NOT A YANDERE B*TCH ]
I saw a lot of people referring to Juvia as a "yandere" and portraying Juvia as such.. Juvia is NOT a yandere girl who will kill you if you reject her and shit. If anything, she's the opposite. She can NEVER hurt Gray. She'd rather kill herself than hurt Gray. When she thinks she's making Gray uncomfortable, she immediately apologizes. When she thought she disrespected Ul's death anniversary by saying it should be a happy day for Gray because it's their anniversary (she didn't know it was Ul's death anniversary at first), she felt very sorry and disappointed in herself. The reason she couldn't approach him at the start was because she didn't want to make him and his friends uncomfortable, and because she isn't used to socializing with other people (add the fight with Phantom Lord which caused the guild a lot of trouble, plus how people always disliked and pushed Juvia away). Basically, Juvia has, or at least had social anxiety. At first, she couldn't approach Gray because she was extremely nervous. Juvia also wasn't as bold as she is now towards Gray at the start, she was shy and was shown to even stutter a lot trying to express her thoughts to Gray and the guild members. Yeah, she becomes extremely mad when someone threatens Gray's life, but that's just like Natsu being mad when someone threatens to kill Lucy. Or Gray being mad when someone threatens Erza's life. Or Mira being mad when someone threatens her siblings lives.. But Juvia didn't even actually kill Meredy (the one who did threaten to kill Gray), but instead even became friends with her! A yandere would do the total opposite. I think that if Gray ever rejects her, she wouldn't even be mad at him, but would probably be very depressed and think a lot about what she did wrong.. She was even willing to give up on him in Tartaros Arc, when she had to kill Gray's father, she thought she doesn't deserve to love him anymore after what she did so she was willing to finally give up and leave him alone... When yanderes are the kind of people who'd go as far as to kill every other person close to you just so they can have you for themselves...
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But Gray himself does not want her to leave. Even though he seems annoyed with how Juvia is clingy towards him and all that, in reality, he doesn't want her to leave. He hugs her and says "thank you" to Juvia for being the one to "kill" Silver, saving his father and finally letting his father rest in peace, so that Gray didn't have to kill his father himself. Silver himself wanted to die and even thanked Juvia for that so I don't really understand why people hate her because of it. And if Gray disliked or hated Juvia, he definitely would have agreed about her leaving him alone.
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The main reason why Juvia acts like this is because she's trying to show her love for others that she wasn't able to show before, since she was always rejected, avoided, disliked, and even hated by others. She's always pushed away by others. So now that someone (Gray) didn't push her away and showed care for her, she didn't want to miss the opportunity of finally feeling loved and being able to share her love.
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And Gray, together with the guild, accepted her. She wants to feel loved and accepted, so she's trying all her best to not be seen as someone gloomy or unlikable that others used to think she is. She does things that she thinks would make them happy, she does things that she thinks would make them accept her. But since she never really knew how to interact with other people before she joined the guild, and the people she used to be with were toxic as hell, she comes off as awkward sometimes. But she's growing, together with Gray and the guild, she's growing.
[ THE LOVE RIVAL" THING IS JUST FOR COMIC RELIEF AND WAS NEVER SERIOUS ]
She may say "Love Rival!!" when someone's getting close to Gray, but it's only put as comic relief and she was not actually serious about it. Even Lucy, the one whom she always calls her "rival", never took it seriously. If Lucy did, she would have never approached Gray ever again, or hated Juvia for it. If Juvia was really serious about her so called "threats", they would have kicked her out of the guild long ago. Plus, she may act like that, but in reality, she cares for and is willing to sacrifice for her friends, including Lucy. And Lucy herself knows that. Even Gray knows when she's just joking around and even called her out for joking at serious times.
It's sad that people say that they are concerned about Gray and Juvia "forcing" herself into him when they don't really actually think about and consider what Gray is actually feeling towards her.. Gray loves her, she loves Gray. Just let them be happy. Gray has lost too much, at least let him enjoy being with Juvia.
Anyways, I'M NOT FORCING YOU TO LIKE THE SHIP, WE ALL HAVE PREFERENCES. But I'm just trying to make you understand both characters, their relationship and development a little more. Well, this is mainly just from my perspective tho. Especially with all the hate this ship gets and how misunderstood both characters are and the things they do. And if you got to this part, thanks for reading all of this lmao this is my first time posting something like this in Tumblr, I hope it wasn't that confusing.
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musclesandhammering · 3 years
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I'm not fond of the pairing but from what I've seen General public actually loves Sylki very much. Even the trade reviews called the relationship "genius" which,,,ok. Someone did a poll on various platforms, yt, reddit, fb, twitter etc comparing which ship is better (Lokius or Sylki) and it was Sylki who won by large margin in the end. I suppose mostly they just don't care because it's sci fi and a pairing in a totally unrealistic show, and after Wandavision I guess weird ships are 'in' but yeah it makes you think. But the writers already said they won't give in to the fan pressure bc they have their own story to tell (which ok, valid, you do you) but idk. I guess we will get even more Sylki in second season. Tom already said Loki won't stop searching for her
Sometimes I think casual fans are the most irritating thing about being in a fandom :/
Just as a disclaimer (bc I don’t want people coming for me): I think lokius is really cute, and I love fics/art/headcanons about them, but I never thought they were canonically romantically interested in each other. I never thought lokius was gonna be canon, and I never wanted it to (because I didn’t want ANY romance in the series), so I don’t even include it in my argument against s*lki.
Ok so….. listen. This is gonna be a long ass post, so I’m putting it under a cut. Sorry, anon, but you’re the one that opened the Worm Can.
The viewing public, in general, tends to heavily skew towards heterosexual-presenting ships. Partially because a portion of the general audiences are homophobic, and partially because a lot of non-tumblr fans are so sick of hearing tumblr stans go on and on and on about how they were queerbaited by certain gay ships not becoming canon, when in reality, said ships are trash.
Listen. I sympathise with that. I get that. I know I’m beating a hornet’s nest with this, but…. D*stiel? J*hnlock? St*cky? None of those were written in any way to invoke queer undertones, they were always supposed to be platonic, and tbfh even as platonic relationships the first two are literally toxic and abusive as hell, anyway.
So I definitely understand how a casual straight fan on Twitter or Instagram would see some of those same crazy “we were queerbaited” tumblr stans ranting about lokius not becoming canon and how much s*lki sucks and……. it makes sense that they’d be like “These people are just pissed that their gay ship isn’t canon, that’s why they hate s*lki.”
But here’s the thing. I don’t think those people realise how callous it is to say something like that when the only reason queer kids are so quick to ship any two male characters who express a modicum of affection for one another, is that they’re so fucking starved for representation in the first place, they’re willing to see queer romance in any same-sex interaction. They’re just that desperate. That’s where the whole crazy gay stan thing comes from. And yeah, it’s annoying that these people put their whole chest into defending gay ships that are total trash, but you have to realise why they do it.
So, what I’m saying is, for s*lki shippers- who are already winning, because their straight ship had the privilege of easily becoming canon despite all its flaws- to look at queer people who are frustrated to the point of tears that they were once again conned out of any form of queer rep (for the mcu’s first canon queer character, for gods sake) after actually genuinely being queerbaited this time (with his bisexuality/genderfluidity)….. and to essentially gloat that their straight ship became canon and taunt queer people by saying “oh you’re just desperate for two men to kiss”………… idk, man. It just seems real cold to me. Reeks of straight privilege and heteronormativity.
Ok, so with that being said.. let me respond to your actual ask lol.
I’m not surprised at all that s*lki won the popularity polls. I think a large reason for that is the fact that it was pitted against lokius, which sorta rubs a lot of casual viewers the wrong way for reasons listed above. I’m also not surprised that casual viewers liked it outside of its opposition to lokius- because, um, casual viewers aren’t very smart.
They tend to analyse exactly nothing, they don’t look any deeper than the surface, and if the writers of a show stick a hot man and woman together under a blanket, they eat it up. Because the narrative tells them it’s sweet. Just like the narrative tells them Loki is a greasy asshole who had no character development up until this point, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that sylvie’s the best thing since sliced bread, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them it’s completely in character for Loki to try to subjugate a group of 3 random Mongolians in the middle of the dessert for absolutely no reason other than his “narcissism”, and they eat that up too. Just like the narrative tells them that one throwaway line about liking “a bit of both” is somehow this groundbreaking example of lgbt representation, and they eat that up too……… See the pattern here?
And as far as being concerned about the pseudo-incest angle, I don’t even think casual fans even dug that deep. They literally just saw two main characters- a pretty white woman and a hot white man- doing cool fight scenes together and giving each other goo goo eyes, and they were automatically sold.
And the writers saying “we won’t give in to fan pressure, we have our own story to tell” is honestly complete bullshit. What the hell is the POINT of working for a corporate film company and telling a story on screen if not to please the fans??? They do what they do to get people to watch their shows to get lots of money. That’s literally what they’re there for. Mike Waldron must have a pretty damn inflated sense of self importance if he thinks his own “artistic vision” or what the hell ever is the priority here lmao.
And I wanna be mad about Season 2, I really do. But at this point Season 1 ruined the character so much for me that I legitimately don’t even care what direction they take him in.
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