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#bsd comfort x reader
xo-cuteplosion-xo · 9 months
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"More Than Enough".
My works on Tumblr are here
Synopsis: comfort fic for those suffering from feelings of inadequacy with g/n reader.
Character(s): Dazai
Warnings: Comfort fic see synopsis
Words: 837
Request
Evening lights flickered dimly beyond the curtains of the room. It's late, and there is nobody else settled in the home. Completely alone with thoughts. It’s been ages since these thoughts spiraled like this. Ages… What if he finally decided you weren't enough? That there was something wrong with you? So utterly and totally wrong with you? What if he up and left without a word? How could you be enough for him? You're so… just average. How could you be enough for Dazai of all people? He’s attractive and charismatic. He’d make anybody happy, so why you? What are you worth to him? You hate it… he's just so perfect, and you feel so little, so imperfect.
These thoughts tend to plague your mind, and yet there’s nobody to turn to or there may be, and yet you chose not to turn to them. These thoughts spiral through your mind over and over, and yet there is nothing you can do about it. Nothing you do seems to help the struggle of fighting such thoughts. 
The sound of the door creaking around two should be a source of excitement, and yet these thoughts of being inadequate tear you down. Your excitement comes: but is broken by the little whispers rambling in your head. You try to toss yourself to sleep, to avoid confrontation, but a slender, almost bony hand runs down your back, softly running over your spine. “You’re still awake?” He tilts his head as you turn to face him.
His eyes settle on your face, and his expression softly changes. Concern slips past his carefully placed mask as it drops before you. The only one he ever seems to feel genuine things with. You looked so fragile in the moment, as if one wrong poke to your skin could shatter you. “Yeah…” Oh how he knows the mask you try to lift so well. It’s so common, so well-known and so easy to see. Of course, this is because he does that very thing to hide himself from the world.
He sits beside you as you lay there on your side. His hand softly runs over your head, playing with your hair softly. “Something's wrong. I’ve been noticing things lately, but… I didn’t want to push or press.” He’s caring with you. He wants to make sure you are alright. The only one he is like this with. “You’re worth enough to me for me to be here, so… what’s on your mind, Belladonna?” He waits for you to sit up to fidget with your hand and perhaps tear up slightly.
“Am I enough? I just...” Your voice trails up as he pulls you to him with a heavy sigh. These thoughts of yours, he wishes he could erase them. To have you never think so closely about such wrong thoughts. And yet he understands the feeling. Certainly, with you, he knows it as well.
He keeps you close, held to him like you would leave. “More than enough. You’re more than what I deserve. You’re perfect in every aspect. You’re appearance, style, voice, everything. I love you Y/n… I can’t help. I know that these thoughts eat away at your brain and that I can’t help more than a few words… but perhaps I may ease them?” His words aren’t stupidly soft or panicked; he's not the emotional type, but he tries. He desperately clings to you. “Whenever these thoughts start to bother you, come to me, and I’ll try to ease them, even if only a bit.” He leans to peck your cheek with a little smile. He has trouble expressing himself, but it’s easier with you. 
Dazai hates the idea of you leaving without him. He wants to keep you close to him and make you feel secure. “I just… I’m not half as good as you at things… I’m not good enough.” What’s left unsaid is easy for him to see. Beneath the strangled words you force from your throat to the avoidance of your eyes from him, there’s so much anxiety. Not half as good as him, it seems you want to say such words. Yet, here he is with you, a wonderful and attentive lover. Here he is with you in his arms, when his fingers are permanently dyed red and his blood sits stained mafia black. You deserve the world at your fingertips.
“You… Y/n… You deserve the world. Anybody you desire, you deserve. Any accomplishment or achievement you earn through your efforts is deserved. Please, you work so hard. You’re enough, you have always been enough.” There are no other words he has other than to pull you close. To keep his arms tightly around you. His shower can wait… everything in the world can pause for you. You’re all he ever needs, perfect in your own right. Enough… you’re more than enough for those who cross your path. Anybody who knows you should be honored, because...
 You’re so much more than just enough.
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chuunai · 4 months
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baby daddy nikolai ! who merely stares at you at first when you say you’re pregnant. he didn’t like it at first. a baby would tie him down, lessen the freedom he craved. but he already tied himself to you through love. plus, he could teach the kid to annoy sigma.
baby daddy nikolai ! who complains when there’s no kicks when he places his hand on your belly. it’s dumb that he won’t be able to feel anything until the fifth or so month. often when you’re napping, he’ll prod at your stomach and try and will it to somehow move. if his baby takes after him, it’ll be one energetic little hellion.
baby daddy nikolai ! who gleefully shows off ultrasound photos to fyodor and sigma, excitedly blabbering about the baby to his ‘best friends’. fyodor takes the role of godfather while sigma wisely chooses not to involve himself in the mess. he’s scared too. the clown having spawn? nuh-uh.
baby daddy nikolai ! who steals so much baby stuff from stores. cute plushies, pregnancy pillows, toys, etc. you don’t approve—he doesn’t care. he claims it’s saving money for the kiddo.
baby daddy nikolai ! who uses his ability to randomly grope your bigger tits out of nowhere. gloved fingers suddenly tweak at your nipples while he laughs from a nearby room. his dove’s got some pretty big milk jugs now.
baby daddy nikolai ! who doesn’t let your pregnancy get in the way of sex. he’ll spoon fuck you from behind, rubbing your swelled belly while also pinching your boobs. he cums inside, naturally. you’re already pregnant, so there’s no harm!
baby daddy nikolai ! who insists on your child having a patronymic name. his baby will inherit his ukrainian ancestry, and he doesn’t take no for an answer. this includes him cooking ukrainian dishes for you so the baby can get used to the dishes pre-birth.
baby daddy nikolai ! who decides at the end of the day that this pregnancy is yet another expression of your shared free will. he put the baby in you and you decided to carry it. if that’s not proving his fixation of freedom and escape, then what is?
Tags: @twst-om-lover, @sinfulthoughtsposts, @xxcandlelightxx
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sugawarassoccerlover · 5 months
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“Let your pain out. Just let it all out, okay? You’re allowed to cry. Even if it means taking your time. I'm not in any rush, sweetheart, and you shouldn’t rush yourself either. It’s okay to not be strong for now. Don’t force yourself to be strong. I’ve got you. I know you're struggling. I know you're tired... I know you're exhausted. Just rest, sweetheart. In my arms, I'll catch you when you fall. I won't let you hit the ground”
Koshi Sugawara, Osamu Miya, Kita Shinsuke, Daichi Sawamura, Takashi Mitsuya, Suehiro Tecchou, Sanji Vinsmoke, Kyojuro Rengoku, Kazuha Kaedahara, Kaeya, Satan
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anqelically · 10 months
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they have nightmares about you headcanons pt.2
featuring...! chuuya nakahara, ryunosuke akutagawa & sigma
content: no manga spoilers, comfort
navi | bsd masterlist | pt.1
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CHUUYA NAKAHARA
• you were cheating on him in his nightmare
• the day seemed to be going normal for chuuya. he left work to come home to something that was anything but normal. another pair of shoes were at the door- a guy’s shoes. that’s when everything turned upside down
• he hurried into your shared home when he found another guy’s hands all over you. and it wasn’t just anyone, not to chuuya. his former brown-haired partner separated his lips from yours before he sent chuuya a smug grin
• meanwhile, you could only look at chuuya sadly before looking back at dazai. it broke his heart to see you just wrap your arms around dazai a bit tighter, not daring to defend yourself
“hm, seems he came back a bit sooner than we thought, huh?” dazai hummed.
“shut up,” you murmured, “you’re the one who lost track of time.”
• when he woke up, that sense of being betrayed hit chuuya hard. his heart raced as he turned his body around to look at you, who was just innocently sleeping
• he knew you’d never do such a thing, but dazai’s grin was taunting him in his head. and as if you could sense his troubles, you began to wake up. you tiredly rubbed your eyes as you looked at chuuya, who seemed spooked
“hey,” you asked, concerned, “what’s wrong? you look hurt…”
“my mind was messing with me, that’s all.”
you watched as chuuya tried to play it off, but it wasn’t working. you were no fool. you were the most perceptive out of the port mafia executives, so no one could hide anything from you, especially not your boyfriend.
“you look a bit paler than usual, chuuya. sweat’s dribbling down the side of your head as well. tell me what happened. i’m all ears.”
• once you’ve heard everything, chuuya feels embarrassed. you joined the port mafia after dazai left, so you don’t even know the guy
• not only that, he was both frustrated and upset that you had the audacity to cheat on him with dazai of all people in his nightmare. trust and loyalty are qualities chuuya holds dear, and you happened to break them
• you laugh it off before telling him that it’s normal to feel that way. you continue to comfort him and once he feels better about it all, chuuya holds you close. his arms are wrapped around your waist as the two of you fall asleep again
• this time, he finally gets to punch dazai in the face (yes he is happy, even if it’s a dream)
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RYUNOSUKE AKUTAGAWA
• you were kidnapped in front of his eyes in his nightmare
• nothing scares this man more than having something important slip out of his grasp. in this scenario, you were taken away from him by a group that was fighting with the port mafia. not only that, but he never seen you ever since
• when he wakes up, although he knows it’s a nightmare, there is still a heavy sense of unease in his body. akutagawa would feel short of breath, grasping at his shirt to calm down
• but when he sees that you aren’t in bed with him, he’s alarmed and finds himself rushing out of bed. he looks around the bedroom, the bathroom, the living room. when he finds you in the kitchen, he’s more relieved than he thought he’d be
“ryu?” you greet your lover in shock. cold sweat dribbled down the side of his face as he heaved, letting out a cough as you stepped closer.
it was almost 3 in the morning, and you were only up because you had the sudden urge to use the bathroom and get yourself some water.
“what’s wrong? tell me.”
• i see him as the type to just pretend nothing is wrong, meaning he’d say he’s fine and try to head back to the bedroom. you are faster to act, however, meaning that he wasn’t going anywhere without telling you what happened
• he’d react rather harshly, probably smacking your hand away by reflex if you tried to get a hold of him. though, he’d quickly apologize because he knows it’s wrong of him to do that
• getting akutagawa to confess will take persistence from you. he’s stubborn, so getting him to change his mind wouldn’t be so easy
• but once you get him to tell you everything, akutagawa feels a sense of relief. hold him close and tell him you won’t leave him because i feel like akutagawa would need that the most at the moment :((
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SIGMA
• you ended up using sigma in his nightmare
• by organization after organization, sigma was always being used. although you wouldn’t dare to do the same, his nightmare led him to believe you did
• sigma was walking himself towards his office, knowing who was inside. but before he entered, he could hear your voice as you spoke with fyodor and nikolai
“oh, he’s wrapped around my little finger like the fool he is,” you laughed. “a desperate man who can’t remember things of his past is nothing. he’ll do anything i ask for specifically, so proceed with the plan.”
• hearing that come from you had broken his heart. he awoke with a loud gasp, and his movement managed to wake you up as well. his hands were buried in his uneven layers of hair, grasping them so tightly you were afraid they may fall off
• you have to pull his hands away before you ask what’s wrong. and when you do, sigma lowers his head in shame. he probably thinks it’s wrong for him to even imagine you doing that, even if that dream was out of his control
“it’s nothing, y/n,” sigma reassured you. “my mind is playing games, i know you wouldn’t do that.”
• sigma may say that, but it doesn’t stop the fear from being instilled into his veins. what if you do end up using him? what if he just becomes another pawn in someone else’s game? sigma hates to think that way, but he can’t help it
• in need to calm down, sigma would probably go outside for fresh air. let’s be honest, the casino man definitely has a balcony connected to his room
• when you join him, sigma is already staring at the night sky. it’s also probably cold, so bringing a little blanket over your shoulders wouldn’t hurt
• he’d probably ask what you’re doing outside with him, or tell you that you should go back to sleep. he doesn’t want to trouble you further, but we all know it doesn’t matter
“nothing’s going to be resolved if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” you honestly told sigma. “if it’s about that dream… i hope you know i would never do anything like that.”
a flash of hesitation is seen on sigma’s face, and he lets out a quiet sigh, “what if you leave? what if… what if this is a dream? what happens when we wake up to reality?”
you stared at him in surprise, “you need to wake up. this, me and you, is reality.”
using the blanket you brought with you, you also wrap it around sigma before pulling him into an unexpected embrace. the dual-haired man grabs your waist on reflex, and the two of you stand like that for a while.
eventually, you take his hand and place it over your chest. beneath his slim fingers, sigma can feel the beating of your heart. his lips part at its quickened pace.
“my heart genuinely beats for you, sigma. please, don’t doubt it. the last thing i’d ever do is try to use you.”
• and that’s all it takes for sigma to lose it. crying or not, he hugs you like it’s your last :((
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note: PART TWO DONE!!! i don't like it but yeah.. also the bullet format is different so it’s easier to post my stuff to wattpad 😗
reblogs are appreciated + join my taglist !
@seisitive @enomane @er0ses @spenzitz @wineaddict2904 @aeshiiteiru @chuuyrr @ashthemadwriter @sanjis-fav-w1fe @bejeweledgirl @ma3mae @piichuu @dreamlessimp
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cloudysleepingzone · 3 months
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While on the outside Dazai seems like a carefree flirty man with not much else going for him but his devilishly handsome looks, around you he is a completely different person. When around you he feels like he doesn't need to hold anything back from you. But regardless of how many times he tells himself that or even you telling him, he can never let himself be vulnerable completely. Never.
In front of others, Dazai is different than when it's just you and him in a private setting. Even when he starts to spiral into the dark pit of his own thoughts he can never bring himself to open up to you all the way, what if you leave? What if you stop loving him? What if you never want to see him again all together?
These stupid thoughts plague him at any slight weakness he shows to you, he could cry into your chest for HOURS and still, his mind won't let him.
"Hey it's alright.. " you run your fingers through his slightly unkept brown hair, trying to soothe him the best you can. "Do you want to talk about it...?" Just that question alone makes his mind want to go blank, he won't answer. He can't. He won't.
Even once he had partially calmed down and is clinging onto your sides, his face buried into your neck as you try to make something to eat for the two of you. His worn out bandages dangle under his arms, the wraps around his neck dropped to his chest. Dazai is always so clingy after any kind of meltdown he has, despite him saying nothing, the silence alone carries enough pain.
He clings onto you for dear life as if you'll walk out the door and leave him any minute...nothing else to do other than cover him in affections...
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the-sunflower-room · 5 months
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✧ to die by your side ✧
dazai x fem!reader
☆ genre: angst, hurt/comfort
☆ wc: 9.5k
☆ summary: dazai’s girlfriend is kidnapped by a revenge-seeking enemy and must count down the agonizing minutes to her death. dazai and the rest of the ada race to save her before time runs out.
☆ warnings: kidnapping, violence, language, mentions of blood/torture/drugging, dazai-typical suicide mentions, brief mentions of throwing up, self-loathing dazai, panic attacks, etc- overall just pretty angsty! slightly canon divergent with the way i wrote dazai’s ability. i also threw in some comfort at the end as a little treat <3
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………………………………………………………………………………….
Pain. Blinding pain.
That was the first thing Y/N noticed as she slowly regained consciousness. Her skull felt like it was on fire, her temple throbbing and wrists aching. A heavy weight sat on her chest and made the simple act of breathing difficult. A faint but persistent beeping noise seemed amplified in her ringing ears, worsening her pounding headache while the heavy scent of blood in the air made her stomach churn.
What was going on?
Confusion persisted until her mind began to register the other noises in her surroundings.
A man’s voice she didn’t recognize.
The soft beep of a video camera starting to record.
Something about the agency.
Dazai’s name.
Her body broke into a cold sweat at the sudden mention of her boyfriend.
Realizing her eyelids were too heavy to even open, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder what the hell had happened. The last thing she remembered was kissing Dazai goodnight outside of her apartment, then quietly getting ready for bed once he had left. What could have possibly happened between then and now? Whose voice was echoing around her? Why did her body feel so heavy, and why were her thoughts so incoherent? If she could just get up-
Oh.
Oh.
Her wrists were bound behind her, the rest of her body anchored to the chair she was sat in by chains of steel. There was something large strapped to her abdomen emitting a beeping noise every few seconds.
Her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest as she slowly put together what was happening in her hazy mind.
“-Pay for your crimes by letting her die. This pretty little thing only has three hours left,” the gruff voice continued, sounding much clearer and much closer than before. Her panic increased tenfold as she realized the mystery man was directly behind her. Before she could fully prepare for it, a large hand suddenly grabbed a fistful of hair on her scalp and yanked her slumped head upwards. The pain forced her eyes open and she was greeted with a camera pointed at her, along with a room full of armed men. Her eyes slowly widened in terror and clarity as it all finally clicked in that moment, no matter how much she didn’t want to admit what was happening to her.
I’ve been kidnapped as a means to get back at the agency.
There’s a bomb strapped to me.
I have three hours to live.
The tears started then. Even though she could vaguely recognize that she was being recorded for the Agency’s viewing and it would only worry Dazai more if he saw her in so much distress, she couldn’t help her panic. No matter how strong she wanted to be for him, this was terrifying. Her life was suddenly on the line and she would die at the hands of these men if the agency couldn’t find her in time.
“Please,” she cried, squeezing her eyes shut and feeling pathetic as she let out a choked sob. Her voice cracked from disuse and she felt like she might hyperventilate. “Please, no. I don’t want to die.” The room filled with cruel laughter at her naive pleas, and she could only sink further into despair as the gravity of her situation became painfully evident. These were ruthless killers who were happy to see an innocent woman die for nothing more than the sake of revenge.
“Hear that, detectives? She’s begging for her life. What are you gonna do about it? The clock is ticking,” The man behind her sneered, grabbing her face in his calloused hand and squeezing it. She weakly attempted to yank her head away from his grasp and maintain her last shred of dignity. He was taunting them with her, the bastard.
Weaponizing their good nature and care for her. Trying to break them; trying to break her sweet Dazai.
Oh god- Dazai.
The more she thought about him, the more her tears flowed. Dazai, whose greatest fear was putting her in danger with his line of work. Dazai, who had lost so much more than a person should. Dazai, who loved and cared for her more than anyone she had ever known. The mere idea of him sitting at the agency headquarters, watching in horror while these unknown men teased him with her life, was too much to bear.
Through her cries of terror, Y/N could just barely overhear the man saying something else into the camera before ordering one of his subordinates to cut the footage. Dread filled the pit of her stomach as they turned their full attention on her and she realized she was truly alone with these psychopaths.
She had no way of knowing if the ADA was coming for her, or if they would be able to get to her in time. Hell, she didn’t even know if they would be able to diffuse the complicated bomb even if they did manage to reach her before it was set to detonate. She certainly didn’t want them to risk their own lives just to save her, even if the thought of dying in an explosion shook her to her core.
She felt her hope drain away with each new tick of the bomb, her body shaking with fear. Three hours was an awfully short time.
Please, Osamu.
My time is running out.
~
Dazai had never felt a rage quite like this before.
He knew that something was wrong the moment the agency had received a video from an untraceable source and Y/N hadn’t texted him about her day. That didn’t stop his heart from dropping clear to his stomach when he saw her on the monitor, chained up and bloody with a bomb on her chest.
No. Not her.
He avoided the nervous gazes of Atsushi and the rest of the agency members as he stared at her unconscious body on the screen, jaw clenched unimaginably tight and hands gripping the wood of the conference room table. The man standing in front of her was droning on about how Dazai had personally wronged his pathetic organization —something about putting a stop to their human trafficking network with the help of Kunikida— but he couldn’t bring himself to listen or even care.
He was attempting to keep his composure by focusing on the facts of the case. Namely, the extent of her injuries and her location.
Blood was dripping down the side of her face from her temple, some of it dried and caked in her hair. The bastards had likely hit her with some sort of blunt object to knock her out. His fury only grew at the thought of her being treated with such senseless violence. She still seemed dazed and confused as the man forced her awake to face the camera, a sure sign of a concussion or even drugging to further subdue her. She had a few more bruises and bloody cuts on her face, and he knew by the way the metal chains cut into her skin that they would cause serious irritation at the very least.
He couldn’t help but screw his eyes shut and let out a shuddering breath as her weak and desperate pleas reached his ears. The complete and utter terror in her voice as she begged her captors for mercy was nothing short of gut-wrenching to him. Even worse, the man was taunting Dazai with her pain. Smugly showing off her broken body like some sort of prize. She’s suffering because of you, a small voice in his head spat, making Dazai grit his teeth even more. No. Focus, you idiot. Focus on where they’re keeping her.
She looked to be trapped in some kind of metal room, potentially reinforced with anti-ability precautions to keep them from easily reaching her. The cell was dingy, dark, and silent, leading him to wonder if she was being kept somewhere underground. That would be a likely spot for these despicable cockroaches to hide. There were just over a dozen guards surrounding her, although they wouldn’t be an issue in the grand scheme of things; the ADA could certainly handle a few thugs with guns. What concerned him most was the bomb strapped to her chest.
There were plenty of geniuses among their ragtag team, but bombs were tricky. There could be dozens of triggers on it, or someone could detonate it remotely if anyone got too close to her. A single misstep or miscalculation could immediately cost Y/N’s life, and that was a risk Dazai certainly wasn’t willing to take.
He was furious at himself for letting this happen. He was so careful- always keeping tabs on her, steering her away from involvement in ADA antics, keeping an ear to the ground for trouble in the Yokohama underworld. He was constantly calculating and preparing for every outcome, always several steps ahead of his enemies with his dizzying plans. And yet, somehow, this measly organization he could hardly remember had managed to snatch his girlfriend out from under him with almost no trouble at all.
She was in mortal danger, and it was all his fault.
“Snap out of it, Dazai, I can hear your thoughts from all the way over here,” Kunikida piped up from across the room, his voice sympathetic but stern as he glared at his partner. “You need to keep your head on straight if we want to get her back.” He could tell just by reading Dazai’s expression how much inner turmoil the man was going through. How much he blamed himself for Y/N’s capture. But if they were going to rescue her before the three hours were up, there was no time for wallowing in self pity.
“Kunikida’s right,” Fukuzawa’s booming voice spoke, causing Dazai’s distant gaze to snap over to his boss in an instant. The fact that he was involved in the case at all revealed just how seriously the entire agency was taking her kidnapping. “Time is not on our side. We must be swift and rational if we are to have any hope of getting to Y/N and disabling the bomb in time.” Their words struck Dazai to his core. It was hard to remember that the other ADA members also cared deeply for his girlfriend, and they were willing to go so far as to put their lives at risk to help him get her back. Their unwavering support seemed to snap him out of his stupor and focus on the task at hand.
Get her back from those sorry motherfuckers.
“Right,” he nodded curtly, his expression suddenly devoid of all emotion as he turned to face the team with renewed focus and determination. “Ranpo-san, what’s the plan?”
The raven-haired detective, who had been quietly perched on the window sill and shadowed by the deep orange sunlight filtering into the room, suddenly jumped down from his seat and whipped out his pair of glasses in a flash. His trademark smirk spread across his face as he placed the glasses on the bridge of his nose, poised to activate his ability.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
~
Fifteen minutes.
That’s what the little timer read—from what she could tell, anyway. Y/N’s heart felt like it would burst out of her chest. She was drenched in sweat from the overwhelming fear taking over her body, despite her cell being practically freezing. The men had left her alone a while ago, but not before roughing her up for good measure. She now sported a throbbing bruise under her eye and a few new cuts on her face and neck, but she had blocked all of the pain out. All she could feel was pure panic as the countdown to her impending doom grew shorter and shorter.
She had no idea if Dazai and the rest of the ADA were even close to figuring out where she was, and her hope was beginning to run out. How could they possibly find her and disarm the bomb in a mere fifteen minutes? It didn’t seem at all possible, no matter how skilled they were. A single tear ran down her cheek as the reality set in. She was really going to die.
Trying to find some form of comfort as the seconds ticked away and she neared what she assumed were her last moments, Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and forced her mind to go somewhere else—anywhere else—to escape this hell.
Dazai’s soft laughter filled her ears.
It was a lazy Sunday morning- the couple’s favorite time to lay in bed for the whole day and forget their actual adult responsibilities. They were tangled up in fresh sheets, warm sunlight streaming through the windows as Dazai playfully teased her about her refusal to let him get up.
“Five more minutes!” Y/N grumbled sleepily, burying her head into the crook of Dazai’s neck and breathing in his fresh scent. He still smelled like the floral body wash he had used in the shower the night before; the same body wash she had bought him when he insisted he loved the way it smelled on her and needed some for himself. Catching traces of its scent on him always brought a smile to her face.
“You said that five minutes ago,” he chuckled, his voice still husky from sleep. His hand absentmindedly massaged her scalp as he held her tight to his chest. “You can hear my stomach practically begging for food. Are you trying to starve me, my love?” Y/N was seemingly unaffected by his dramatic ploy to escape her embrace. “Yes,” she answered simply, burrowing further into his t-shirt to hide her smile that would give away her crumbling resolve. Of course, there was no hiding anything from Dazai Osamu.
“I saw that!” He gasped, playfully poking at her face. “My Y/N does care about me, who would have thought!” She couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped her lips at her boyfriend’s theatrics. He was always blowing things out of proportion, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t love it.
Daring to peek up at him with heavy eyelids, her eyes met gentle brown staring back at her with nothing but warmth and fondness. The lovesick smile plastered across his face sent butterflies rushing through her stomach and she suddenly felt shy. His eyes were so pretty. “If you get up, I’ll be so lonely without you,” she pouted, hands snaking around his waist as she gave him her best puppy dog eyes. She knew she was playing dirty by pulling the pity card, but she also couldn’t stand the thought of being away from his comforting embrace for even a moment.
Dazai heaved a sigh, a mischievous twinkle in his eye as his hand moved to her face and gently brushed some of her hair away from her eyes. “Well how could I ever say no to that? I would rather starve than see my belladonna lonely and upset.” She rolled her eyes a let out an amused huff at his words, craning her neck so she was mere inches away from his face. “So you’ll stay?” She whispered, knowing that she’d already won the minute he hadn’t actually gotten up when he announced he needed breakfast.
Instead of responding right away, Dazai leaned down and planted a gentle kiss to her pouting mouth. She was just so irresistible. “Of course, darling,” he murmured against her lips, pulling her head back into his chest and smiling as he felt her snuggle closer. She truly was his everything. “Five more minutes with you is nothing short of pure bliss.”
Five minutes left.
Y/N thought she might pass out from the sheer terror that consumed her, threatening to pull her under completely. She would never see her friends again, including all of the agency members she had grown to call her family. She would die before saying goodbye to her loved ones- to Dazai. How would he react when he found her body, or what was left of it? How would he cope? The very thought forced a watery sob from her throat.
This is the end.
I’m going to die without seeing him one last time.
Suddenly, a loud bang sounded outside of the door to her prison and startled her out of her despair. It sounded like someone throwing their body against the heavy steel door. She froze, swallowing back her tears and preparing herself for the worst. Maybe the men were back to torture her one last time before setting off the bomb. As her mind came up with the worst possible scenarios, a familiar grunt reached her ears through the metal walls. It couldn’t be. After a beat, she heard the noise again. Then- “Y/N?”
She nearly stopped breathing at the sound of his angelic lilt. “…Samu?” She called out weakly, afraid to let herself be filled with hope in case it was some kind of cruel trick. “Y/N!” He yelled back, a mixture of desperation and relief in his voice as the banging noises continued. It was incredible how quickly hearing his voice had managed to relax her, even if she knew she was still in immediate danger. He always did have a calming effect on her. “Osamu, I don’t have much time left,” she gasped, desperately struggling against her restraints. Now that she knew he was here, she wanted nothing more than to be with him.
“I know, I know. I’m gonna get you out of here, baby,” he assured her through the cold metal door, giving the handle another frustrated jolt. Why couldn’t he have been blessed with a strength-related ability? “Those assholes had some ability users up their sleeve, so the others are busy trying to break through their defenses,” he explained in a rush, throwing his body into the door again despite the blooming pain in his shoulder. He wouldn’t have the help of Atsushi or Kenji like they had originally planned, and that worried him. “I promise, I won’t stop until I get into that room and you’re safe.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” a voice suddenly boomed over a hidden speaker, catching the attention of both Dazai and Y/N as their heads snapped upwards in near unison. Her blood ran cold as she recognized it as the voice of her captor. “Break into that room, and we’ll set off the bomb early. Didn’t you listen to us? This is your penance, Dazai,” he spoke, clear amusement in his tone. The bastard was watching them from somewhere else in the underground facility, enjoying their pain. Using it as entertainment.
Three minutes left.
Dazai grimaced outside of the door, hands balling into fists as a new fear and rage ignited inside of him. There was never going to be a way to reach her without the bomb going off. It was a cruel way to torture him; forcing him to either live with the guilt of leaving her and save his own life, or stay with her until the bitter end. It wasn’t a difficult choice to make.
As Y/N pieced together the new information, she quickly came to the same conclusion as her boyfriend and felt her eyes go wide. “Dazai, NO! Get away from here, now!” She screamed, fresh tears already burning in her eyes. She knew that he was selfless and loved her more than anything, but in that moment she wanted him to turn his back on her. To break her heart and leave her behind to save himself.
Ramming his now probably broken shoulder into the cold, unforgiving metal one last time, Dazai shook his head as he slowly sank to the floor. His hands were raw and bleeding from practically clawing at the wall for a weak point, but he didn’t care. Nothing else mattered anymore but staying with her. “I won’t leave you,” he said simply, leaning his head against the wall. The agony of knowing that she was in that room, alone and afraid, minutes away from her death, was crushing. But if he could offer her even the smallest comfort before that timer hit zero, he would do it in a heartbeat.
Meanwhile, Y/N was on the verge of a panic attack. Tears streamed down her face and she struggled to breathe, completely overwhelmed by what was happening. To have to accept that she really was about to die a horrible and graphic death in a few minutes was terrifying, but to know that Dazai was right outside the door and would also die if he stayed; that was too much. She knew how stubborn he was, but she had to try to make him leave anyway. Anything to get him to save himself.
“Please,” she cried desperately, consumed with grief as sobs wracked through her body. “You can’t stay, Dazai, you have to GO!” Hearing her in so much pain was like a thousand knives to the heart, but despite everything, Dazai couldn’t help the small smile that made its way onto his face. She really didn’t get it. “Go where, huh? There’s nowhere in this world I would go without you,” he spoke softly, shutting his eyes and letting out a small sigh. He seemed strangely content.
She continued to sob, choking on her breaths as the timer reached one minute. He was so stupid and selfless and wonderful- she couldn’t let him die. “Please…you can’t do this to me, you have to leave…you can’t stay,” she whimpered almost incoherently, barely able to yell anymore. Her strength was running out, her body exhausted from all of the mental turmoil. Still, she continued to strain against the chains wrapped tightly around her as if she could break them by sheer will. “Don’t be scared, Y/N,” he called to her, the smile still on his face. “I’m right here with you and I’m not leaving you. It’s gonna be okay.” Through the walls he could hear her voice break as she wailed in agony at his words, the sound blood-curdling.
Thirty seconds.
Dazai thought it ironic that this was the way he was going out; a tragic double suicide with his lover. It was almost funny. Almost. “I love you, darling. My sweet belladonna. Not even death can keep us apart,” he reassured her, opening his eyes and staring at the wall as if he could look straight through the metal and meet her gaze. His heart squeezed in his chest as she let out another horrible, strangled sob. “There- isn’t much time- left,” she gasped in between breaths, her whole body trembling. Why couldn’t he leave her? Why couldn’t he save himself? He was too important to the ADA, to the world, to die. The guilt was eating her alive.
Ten seconds.
“I love you, Y/N,” he repeated, and he was never more sure of his words. She let out one last piercing, guttural scream, pulling at the chains so hard her skin started to bleed. She thought she might faint from the agonizing anticipation as the clock counted down her last moments of life; their last moments. “I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, squeezing her eyes shut in defeat. He shook his head once again. She had nothing to be sorry for. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered one final time, placing his bloody hand against the door. Offering his comfort in their last seconds alive.
Three.
Two.
One.
Silence. A flash of white hot light. A horrible booming noise. Then, nothing.
~
The rest of the ADA halted in their battle at the sound of the explosion, staring at one another in horror. Smoke billowed out from one of the dingy tunnels, the familiar scent of flames filling the air. There was no way they had failed…right? The couldn’t have lost Y/N and Dazai; not when they had worked so hard to get out of the situation with everyone unharmed.
The sound of cackling laughter echoed through the underground base mere moments after the explosion, drawing their attention to a man emerging from the shadows. They immediately recognized him as the man from the video- the organization’s leader who had personally tormented Y/N.
“The great Dazai Osamu is dead,” he shrieked, his crazed laughter forcing him to double over. The rest of the organization’s thugs began to jeer and laugh along with him, celebrating their victory over the ADA’s elusive genius. Atsushi felt tears welling in his eyes, not just for the tragic and sudden loss of his brilliant mentor whom he deeply cared for, but for Y/N as well. Those pieces of shit didn’t even care that they had killed her too; to them she was just a means to an end. The sweet woman who had shown him nothing but kindness when he joined the ADA and brought so much joy into their lives…dead.
To his left, Kunikida was also fighting back angry tears, refusing to accept that his frustrating but brilliant partner had truly been killed by these incompetent fools. Kyoka and Kenji’s eyes were blown wide in shock while Tanizaki panted heavily, his mouth gaping. It seemed that none of them could actually comprehend that the pair were truly dead and gone.
“You detectives are nothing but a bunch of sentimental fools!” The man cackled, face red and eyes bulging. He looked insane. “I can’t believe your genius was lured and killed by such an easy trap. All it took was kidnapping that little bitch and blowing her up!” All of the ADA members tensed, looking visibly appalled by his cruel, demeaning words. Not only was this man completely unhinged, but he was outright mocking an innocent woman’s death.
It was sickening.
Just as the sinking feeling of dread began to settle in the pit of Atsushi’s stomach, a distant but familiar voice called out from the smoke to interrupt their little celebration. “Ah, you underestimate me…” the voice drawled, jerking everyone’s attention to the smoking tunnel. All of the color drained from the leader’s face as he watched three silhouettes slowly emerge from the haze. “No…that’s impossible!” He screeched, all confidence gone and white as a ghost as he pointed at the trio with a shaking finger. “I watched you die! I-I saw it with my own eyes!”
Dazai, Y/N, and Dr. Yosano appeared at the entrance of the tunnel as the smoke cleared, Y/N leaned against Dazai for support while Yosano brandished her weapon. Y/N looked slightly stunned and shaken up, but the two survivors otherwise seemed completely unharmed, no trace of any injuries on their bodies.
“You did,” Dazai flashed his signature shit-eating grin, eyes flicking over to their team’s resident doctor. “Thankfully we had a backup plan in case you tried anything dirty, like you did.”
Ranpo had luckily had the foresight to bring in Yosano from a different entry point and position her near the cell that Y/N was being held in once they figured out her location, in the event that things went wrong and the bomb went off. That way she was there to immediately patch them up with her ability once it detonated, making it so that the harm was only temporary. There had never been any real threat of death; as long as Yosano worked fast enough, that is.
“You were a fool to play with this woman’s life to get back at an enemy,” Yosano spat, pointing her cleaver at the now trembling man before her. “Those who do not properly respect life will receive the ultimate punishment!” The rest of the thugs glanced around uneasily, sensing a shift in the power dynamic of the fight. Suddenly their main target was alive and well, and the rest of the agency seemed even more bloodthirsty than before.
“I-Impossible! No!” He cried, slowly backing towards another tunnel. The ADA members adjusted their stances and stared him down with what could only be described as murderous glints in their eyes, making it clear that he wouldn’t be getting away without a gruesome fight. He gulped. “Take this as a lesson!” Dazai announced cheerfully, still smiling but now with a terrifyingly cold and emotionless look in his eyes.
“There are grave consequences for those who hurt the people I love. And you’ve stupidly chosen to hurt the person I love most.”
It was a blur after that, all hell breaking loose. Dazai quickly ordered Tanizaki to cloak Y/N with his ability and get her safely to the surface as fighting broke out all around them. She wanted to protest, but the look in his eyes told her that he just wanted to get her out of harm’s way for the time being and that’d he be back at her side as soon as he was done dealing with the room of pitiful men. She certainly didn’t want to stick around and see what he and the rest of the ADA had in store for them. He pressed one last comforting kiss to her forehead before sending her off to escape with the ginger detective, his fiercely protective gaze never once leaving her as she fled the scene.
Covering the two of them with Light Snow, Tanizaki grabbed Y/N by the wrist and rushed her out of the disgusting underground hideout, pulling her away from the violent fight that had broken out. He knew that it would only be a few minutes until the team was done putting those miserable scumbags in their place.
They eventually reached the entrance of the base after a few tense minutes of running through winding tunnels, finding Ranpo and a trusted driver from the agency waiting in a running car. Tanizaki carefully opened the backseat door for her and made sure she was safely in the car before stepping back, flashing a comforting smile. “I’m so happy to see that you’re safe, Y/N. Ranpo will take care of the rest and make sure you get back to the agency safely,” he quickly explained, nodding at the driver before closing the car door and giving her a small wave.
Although she was still shellshocked, she managed a small wave in return and and even smaller smile. “Thank you,” she mouthed as the car pulled away, grateful for his help in getting her out of that hellhole. She was happy to leave the horrible place behind.
“Good to see you, Y/N,” Ranpo greeted from the seat next to her, drawing her attention away from the now small spec that was Tanizaki. Seeing her old friend sitting next to her filled her with so much relief she could hardly breathe. She opened her mouth to thank him for everything, knowing that the elaborate rescue plan was his doing, but the words caught in her throat. Everything had happened so fast that she barely had any time to process it. The bomb going off, practically dying, being saved by Yosano, briefly reuniting with Dazai, escaping the underground labyrinth. She was so overwhelmed with emotion as she realized she was actually alive and safe. Dazai was alive and safe.
We survived…
but we almost didn’t.
She promptly bent over and threw up onto the floor of the car.
Ranpo shrank into the corner of his seat, looking wildly uncomfortable but biting back his usual snarky and tone-deaf remarks. She had been through a lot, and her body had to expel all of those suffocating emotions somehow. “I had a feeling you would do that,” he grimaced, but he nonetheless leaned over and gently pat her back in a small act of comfort. Coughing on bile, Y/N felt hot tears burning the back of her eyes at the detective’s kind gesture. Everyone at the agency had shown up to help her in one way or another, and it was staggering to see just how much they cared.
Even in this very vulnerable moment, Ranpo was offering his genuine support, something that was incredibly rare for him. She would have to buy him a big care package of his favorite snacks later to show her gratitude for all he had done for her.
Eventually the car arrived at the agency, the normally bustling streets of Yokohama quiet and deserted in the late hour. Y/N apologized profusely to the driver for the small mess in the car, thoroughly embarrassed even though she hadn’t been able to help it. He simply dismissed it with a wave of his hand and an understanding smile. “No problem whatsoever, miss. You just take it easy.”
With that, Ranpo carefully guided her into the safety of the agency, leading her upstairs with one arm draped over her shoulder. When the pair finally reached the office, Y/N practically collapsed into one of the couches in the lounge area, letting out a sigh and massaging her temples to try and soothe her pounding head. Being dehydrated and malnourished for nearly 24 hours wasn’t exactly helping her stress-induced headache that had quickly developed in the car ride over.
Once again, as if reading her mind, Ranpo disappeared for a moment before returning with a water bottle, a few snacks, medicine, and a blanket in his arms, placing them on the coffee table in front of her. It was like he knew everything she needed- and he probably did. “Rest up and take care of yourself,” he instructed, his tone leaving no room for debate. “I’m sure Dazai will be here soon to take you home, but in the meantime try to relax and get some food and water in you. You’ve had a long day.” She smiled gratefully, albeit a little tiredly, at the gesture. Yet another rare display of his care.
“Thank you, for everything,” she whispered, trying to convey just how sincerely she meant those words. She wouldn’t soon forget his help. He flashed her a small, lopsided grin before waving her off dramatically. “It was nothing for the world’s greatest detective!” He declared, pointing a finger into the air before turning on his heels and making his way back to his desk, munching on a snack of his own. Just like that, Y/N was alone.
She quietly opened one of the snacks Ranpo had provided her, washing down some pain-relief pills with the water after she’d eaten a few bites. When her nauseous stomach began to protest the food, she forced herself to stop. Although she was still incredibly hungry, she certainly didn’t want to end up with another mess to clean up. Shuddering at the thought, she wrapped herself up with the plush blanket and tried to calm her racing heart. Her mind was still reeling from everything. The constant thoughts of the traumatic events she had just undergone only made her headache and nausea worse by the minute, and her brain felt like it might explode.
She was exhausted.
If she could just clear her mind and close her eyes for a moment…
~
Without even realizing she had dozed off on the couch, she awoke some time later to the feeling of a slender hand cupping her cheek, stroking her jaw with delicate precision. She didn’t even have to open her eyes to know it was Dazai. “Wake up, my love,” his hushed voice cooed, immediately pulling her from her slumber. Slowly blinking her eyes open, she was met with his comforting smile, but his eyes were unimaginably sad. Her heart ached.
“Ready to go home?”
Nodding sleepily, Y/N slowly picked herself up from the couch, shrugging the blanket off her shoulders and neatly folding it up before placing it back on the coffee table. After gathering her bearings, she realized that some of the other agency members had also returned to the office, likely to fill out paperwork before heading home for the night. She felt a pang of guilt shoot through her as she realized they would have to do extra work because of her. If you hadn’t gone and gotten yourself kidnapped, they would all be home sleeping right now.
A dreadful thought suddenly crossed her mind. Would she have to fill out paperwork and recount what had happened to her? It seemed likely, as they kept track of nearly every incident like this. The very idea made another wave of nausea roll through her.
As if sensing her worry, Kunikida rounded the corner with a stack of papers in-hand, taking in her dead-tired appearance with a single glance. “Just so you know, we will need a statement on what happened eventually, Y/N, but I don’t want you to even think about it until you’re recovered and ready to talk,” he instructed, concern and sympathy evident in his expression despite his no-nonsense tone. He was truly glad to see her safe and back under the protection of the agency. Y/N nodded, relieved that she wouldn’t have to recount the traumatic events until she was ready. At the moment she couldn’t even imagine a time when she would ever feel ready.
Turning his attention to Dazai, the sympathetic look vanished from Kunikida’s face and morphed into one of general annoyance. “Don’t think that you’re getting out of doing the paperwork just because you almost died,” he barked, jabbing an accusing finger at his partner’s chest. “It’s no excuse to be lazy.”
Dazai placed a hand to his heart and looked aghast, as if the very insinuation of him trying to avoid paperwork was ridiculous. “Me? Getting out of paperwork? Really, Kunikida-kun, what do you take me for?” He gasped, earning a growl and a sharp smack to the head with a roll of papers.
Their antics miraculously drew out a soft chuckle from Y/N’s lips, but it was half-hearted at best. As enjoyable as Dazai and Kunikida’s banter was, her eyes still drooped with fatigue and her anxious mind longed to rest in the comfort of her own home. She just wanted this horrible day to be over with. Gaze dropping to Y/N’s face at the sound of her reserved amusement, Dazai quickly noted the weight of her exhaustion and took it as their cue to leave.
“I think it’s time for us to get home,” he announced, glancing back up at Kunikida and sharing a knowing look with him. The blond held his stare for a moment before sighing, giving a small nod before politely bidding the two a good night and moving on to pester Ranpo about doing his work.
Placing a hand on the small of her back, Dazai carefully led Y/N out of the agency and into the streets of Yokohama below, glancing at her every few minutes to make sure she was doing ok. She was quiet during the walk home, her expression blank and her eyelids heavy. He found himself wishing he could figure out what she was thinking. Normally he could read her like a book, always knowing exactly how she was feeling or what was troubling her. Now she just seemed numb. A dark part of his mind feared that she was distancing herself from him because their relationship had nearly gotten her killed.
Would she even want to be with him anymore? Would she leave him to heal the trauma he had caused her? He shuddered at the thought.
Eventually arriving at their destination, Y/N quickly realized that Dazai had led her back to his apartment instead of her own. That’s right. Mine was broken into, and no one’s been around to clean up the mess that was probably left behind. She was grateful for his thoughtfulness. There was no way she would’ve been able to keep her composure if she had walked into her home and seen the evidence of her capture.
Walking into the entryway after Dazai had unlocked the door, Y/N immediately wanted to cry as the warm, familiar scent of his apartment hit her. It just smelled like him, something she thought she’d lost mere hours ago. The familiarity of the space nearly brought tears to her eyes.
It was overwhelming, to say the least.
Noticing her distant, watery gaze, Dazai quickly swooped in to distract her, helping her slip out of her shoes and guiding her to the bedroom to change out of her clothes. Although Yosano had done away with all of the physical injuries on her body, she still felt dirty, the scent of mold and metal clinging to her shirt. It drew her back to that room and the horrible, agonizingly slow ticking of the bomb. The memories lingered in the back of her mind as she discarded her old clothes, slipping into a comfortable t-shirt and a soft pair of shorts that she kept in Dazai’s drawer for the nights when she slept over.
“Better?” Dazai questioned softly when she had finished changing, eyes searching hers almost frantically for any sign of discomfort. He wanted to help her in any way possible, but for once in his life, he didn’t know what to do. The day had taken a toll on him as well and he was struggling to maintain his calm facade. Staring deep into his eyes, she gave the slightest of nods and opened her mouth to reassure him, to tell him that she was ok now. She was home, she was safe thanks to him, she was with him- everything had turned out just fine. But for the second time that night, the words refused to come out.
Instead, she just stared in silence before collapsing into a sudden fit of sobs, knees buckling and sending her falling to the hardwood below. Panicked, Dazai scrambled to meet her at the floor, strong arms holding her steady while she attempted to muffle her pained cries with the palm of her hand. Her sudden tears had him terrified that he had done something wrong. “Hey, hey, what’s the matter, angel? Please, let me help-“ he couldn’t even finish his sentence before she threw herself into his arms, holding him tighter than she had ever held anyone.
Her desperation to feel him and be close to him now was due to the fact that their reunion in the underground base had been so short lived. Y/N was in too much shock, not understanding how she had gone from dying a gruesome death to perfectly fine in only a matter of seconds. She could barely even register Dazai’s arms wrapped around her in a bone crushing hug or the sweet encouragements he was whispering in her ear.
Dazai was used to Yosano’s incredible ability. Having been saved by it countless times, being revived by the dark-haired doctor was practically second nature to him. But Y/N was still reeling from the excruciating pain she had experienced moments ago that had just vanished. It was like it had tattooed itself under her skin, a painful memory of her near-death.
The shock of being revived clouded her mind as Dazai had clutched her body close, kissing her forehead and squeezing her tight. She couldn’t even enjoy the pure relief that normally would have filled her when she pieced together that she was alive and safe in her loving boyfriend’s arms. Before she could comprehend what was going on, he had already helped her off the ground and had begun to walk her down the hallway with Yosano, headed towards the main fight.
Now, on the floor of Dazai’s dark bedroom, her mind had finally registered exactly what had transpired mere hours ago. He sacrificed himself just so I wouldn’t be alone in my last moments. He stayed with me until the very end, and he was the first thing I saw after I was healed by Yosano. He means more to me than anyone ever has- and I almost got him killed.
Shushing her cries of despair, Dazai cradled her head to his chest, feeling tears building in his own eyes. He just wanted to take all of her pain away. “Shhh…it’s alright, darling, you’re safe,” he whispered into her ear, feeling her grip around him tighten even more. She was gasping for breath, practically hyperventilating. It seemed her distress was never ending. “Please, my love…please tell me what’s wrong…I want to help you,” he muttered, stroking her hair and pressing gentle kisses into the crown of her head. Her muffled cries only grew louder and he only felt more helpless.
Eventually, after a few minutes of his hushed reassurances and tight, comforting hold, she managed to catch her breath enough to speak. When she pulled away from his chest and finally looked up at him, her eyes held a sorrow so deep that it broke Dazai’s heart all over again. “I- I’m so sorry,” she rasped, sounding completely broken. “You almost died because of me. I hurt you.” Another watery sob escaped her throat before she hung her head and pressed a hand to her lips yet again to stifle her pained cries.
Her words left him in utter shock. He couldn’t imagine how she could possibly think any of this was on her. Not when the truth was the complete opposite. It was time for him to be honest about his feelings, no matter how terrifying it was. “Hey…will you look at me?” He questioned gently, tilting her chin upwards with his finger to guide her gaze back to his. The smallest of smiles graced his lips when she finally complied, glassy eyes locking on his own. “There you are. It hurts that you blame yourself at all, darling. Especially when it’s me you have to blame for all of this.” When her distraught expression morphed into one of confusion, his hands made their way to her own, squeezing them tight. She absentmindedly stroked her thumb along his wrist in a comforting gesture, urging him to explain.
“…I knew Yosano would be there the whole time we were trying to rescue you. I knew she was waiting for us in case things went wrong, and that she would heal us if the bomb went off,” he began, staring intently into her eyes as he spoke. “But listening to you in there, scared and alone, waiting for it to detonate, was horrible. It was the worst possible scenario that we tried so hard to avoid. And knowing that you would have to endure the god awful pain of the explosion even for a moment, and I could do nothing about it, made me sick. It was just another cruel reminder that I always end up hurting the people I care for.”
His sincere confession had stunned Y/N. Though she and her boyfriend were incredibly close, Dazai was a fairly private person who didn’t often air his deep insecurities. The fact that he was being so vulnerable in this moment told her just how genuine his words were, and it hurt like hell to hear. Before she could say anything to rebut his confession, he continued. “I just feel like…a curse to the people I love most. They’ll always be hurt or worse because of me. And it’s so hard to live with myself because of that.”
Eyes widening, Y/N shook her head in disbelief. She couldn’t even imagine where his horrible self-deprecating talk was coming from. “How could you even say that? You saved me. I’m only here and alive because of you and the agency.” He let out a soft, humorless chuckle at her words, his gaze distant. “I failed you, my love. You were almost killed because of me.” He practically spat the word out, like he was disgusted with himself. His grip on her hands tightened.
“The whole reason those men took you in the first place was to get revenge on me. To force me to choose to live with the guilt of letting you die, or die alongside you. The fact that you had to be wrapped up in all that, traumatized and hurt and almost killed because of my enemies, my line of work…” he trailed off, his voice nearly breaking as his eyes begged her to understand. “No matter how careful I was and how much I tried to protect you, it meant nothing in the end.”
The guilt inside of him was all-consuming. Yes, they had saved her. Yes, they had made sure that the organization would never lay a finger on her or anyone else ever again. But what if something had gone wrong? What if they had been outsmarted, and Yosano hadn’t been waiting in the wings to heal them after the bomb went off? Y/N had been tortured, terrified, in pain because of him. To know that it was his fault that she had been scarred so deeply was his own personal hell.
In a way, the assholes who kidnapped her had won. It was Dazai’s penance, as their leader had called it- still living with the crushing guilt even after he had saved her. Hating himself over and over again for putting her in that position in the first place. Remembering her in the video, bruised and bloody and scared for her life. Constantly reliving her desperate cries for him to leave her in those final moments while he was utterly helpless to save her.
It was torture.
He just felt so stupid for being outsmarted by the lowly organization and allowing his precious lover to get hurt in the process.
“Dazai,” Y/N spoke sharply, effectively snapping him out of his spiral. She rarely called him Dazai unless she was being serious, and she couldn’t stand hearing him blame himself for one more second. “I won’t lie to you and say that today wasn’t one of the worst days of my life. The fear I felt, knowing I’d been taken from my home, having to count down the minutes to my death…” she paused, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head as if willing away the unpleasant memories. He patiently waited for her to come back to herself, giving her hands a comforting squeeze.
“…It’ll take me a long time to get over that,” she finally admitted after a moment. “But the worst part of it wasn’t being kidnapped, or hurt by those men, or waiting for the inevitable explosion. It was thinking that I was going to lose you too. All I could focus on in those last minutes was you behind that door, too stubborn to leave me. All I could think about was how much I loved you, and how much I wanted you to be selfish for once and save yourself.”
She watched as he blinked back tears, a mystified expression in his face. As if the very thought of someone worrying about him and his life was completely foreign. Wanting to make herself absolutely clear, she kept going, no matter how much it hurt to see him struggling to understand her love for him. “I could never blame you for what happened. Those men did this to us- they caused all this pain and hurt. Not you.”
Her words left him dumbfounded, to say the least. They managed to remind him of why he loved her as fiercely as he did- she was the good in his life. Even after such a traumatic experience, she was incapable of blaming him for what had happened. Her love and compassion for him despite the darkness he brought into their lives was eye opening, forcing him to realize that no matter how much he thought it untrue, he was capable of being loved.
And how lucky he was to be loved by her.
Unable to articulate his complicated feelings any other way, Dazai cupped her face and surged forward, pressing his lips into her own and kissing her with such genuine fervor that it left Y/N breathless. Although she was momentarily shocked by his sudden show of affection, it quickly wore off as she melted into him. This was the first time they had truly kissed since reuniting, and they were each aching to communicate just how much they loved one another. How close they were to losing their other half; the person that completely them.
Her hands raked through his brown curls almost erratically, desperate to compensate for those long, torturous hours spent away from him. He seemed equally if not more hungry for her touch, like he was trying to prove to himself that she was really there with him after their near death experience. His slender fingers glided across her body and gripped her closer to him, nearly feral in his pursuit to feel every inch of her. She tugged at the hair near the base of his head and elicited a low, rumbling moan in return.
“My beautiful girl,” he rasped as he briefly pulled away, eyes roaming over her body with a look of complete infatuation. She was the most perfect thing he’d ever seen—and he’d almost lost her. His arm snaked around her waist to tug her impossibly closer, practically pulling her into his lap. She didn’t mind.
He continued to plant kisses all over her face, her hair, her jaw- anywhere he could reach. His lips ghosted over every inch of skin that had previously been covered in blood or bruises, almost as though he had memorized the exact locations of all her injuries just from watching the video hours ago. Knowing Dazai, he probably had committed all of her injuries to memory.
In between kisses, he muttered gentle praises and affections into her ear, all of which made her face flush a deep red. She would never tire of the way his whispered adorations made her heart race and the feeling of his soft lips against her skin. “My darling. My sweet belladonna. You’re everything to me. Everything,” he breathed, kissing the tip of her nose. “Words cannot even describe how much you mean to me. I’m nothing without you.”
Y/N rolled her head back as his lips trailed up her neck and neared her jawline, sucking in a sharp breath when his hands moved into her hair and his grip tightened. His kisses were becoming more passionate, more anxious to prove to her how grateful he was that she was finally back in his arms. That he would never let anyone lay a hand on her again. She allowed his love the wash over her, happily reciprocating when his lips finally captured her own once again.
He tasted like salty tears and home.
Eventually breaking away from one another to catch their breath, Y/N rested her forehead against Dazai’s and let out a shaky sigh, finally letting herself feel safe after what had felt like an eternity of fear and unease. Just being in his presence was enough to help alleviate some of crushing panic she had felt just hours ago.
“Thank you for being with me. For always protecting me, even when you think you’re not. And for never leaving me behind,” she whispered, glancing up into his big brown eyes that were mere inches away from her own. Although the thought of him almost dying with her in the explosion filled her entire being with dread, his determination to stay with her and offer her comfort until the very end meant more to her than she could explain.
“I wouldn’t dream of abandoning you. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life protecting you and making sure something like this never happens again,” he assured her with nothing but sincerity in his soothing voice, taking her hands and gently brushing his lips over her knuckles. Her eyes fluttered closed at the gesture. “You are the most wonderful thing in my life. My reason for living at all. It’s hard to wrap my head around what I’ve possibly done to deserve you, but I promise I’ll do everything within my power to cherish you and keep you safe as long as I live.”
Y/N felt herself genuinely smiling for the first time in hours at her lover’s words. She was filled with such utter relief to be back in the safety of his arms. To be home, alive, and in love despite it all. Her heart felt like it would burst from all the love it held for Dazai Osamu.
“I love you,” she breathed, eyes meeting gentle brown once again. She was desperate for him to understand just how much she meant those words. To convey how safe he made her feel, and how much his presence comforted her. That no matter the danger she was in, she knew he would always be there for her.
“I love you too, Y/N,” he replied effortlessly, a part of him melting at the sight of her smile. He would burn the world just to keep that beautiful expression on her face. He made a silent vow to himself in that moment— no matter what it took, he would never lose her again.
The two eventually ended up in Dazai’s bed, practically clinging to one another as they shifted into a comfortable position. There would be no such thing as personal space that night. Y/N, who had been worried that the horrors she had faced would keep her exhausted body awake through the night, was pleasantly surprised to find that she was calm and content in Dazai’s embrace, already dozing off. He chuckled softly as her whole body relaxed against him.
“Sleep tight, my love. I’ve got you,” he mumbled into her hair, his warm breath fanning across her neck. She shivered and nuzzled herself further into his embrace, a soft smile on her face. No harm would come to her so long as she was in his arms.
Though they were both still riddled with guilt and turbulent emotions from the terrible night, they silently agreed to let go of their baggage for the time being and just appreciate one another, falling asleep in each other’s embrace.
Safe and home at last.
………………………………………………………………………………….
☆ note: yeahhhh dazai fic! i literally haven’t written in ages but i’ve been knee-deep in my bungo stray dogs era and dazai is taking up most of my brain capacity at the moment. this feels both rushed and wayyyy too long at the same time lol, i just had that feral writing energy and had to get it off my chest as soon as possible. it might be a mess but i’m exhausted and i’ve reread it too many times to catch all my mistakes lmaooo whatever. thanks so much for reading :)
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poeticlilies · 1 year
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Dazai with a reader who’s really motherly with him? I feel like he secretly craves to be coddled but he plays it off with jokes for a while until a certain point where he just breaks :(
also I’m sorry if my request got sent more than once, tumblr is being silly ‼️
♡ My baby, my baby...
Dazai Osamu x Reader
Desc: Comforting Dazai. (fem reader)
TW/CW: mental breakdowns, joking about mental health, dark thoughts, suicide, self-harm, mentions of religion (usage of word "God"), usage of "Y/N", angst -> hurt/comfort
It hurt.
It hurt so, so much Dazai Osamu thought that God had finally pitied him and was letting him die.
He couldn't breathe; his lungs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves, and he sobbed, trying to let oxygen back into his lungs as they burned.
"Just get home," his mind repeated. "Just get home and you can see Y/N again."
A foreign corner of his heart quieted it's pounding; slowing down to consider the thought of keeping quiet long enough to see you. It agreed, happy at the thought of you; and after five minutes Dazai got up and walked out of the closet he had locked himself inside.
Kunikida stared at him, stopping mid-rant as concern flashed over his coworker's face; but before the blond could say anything, Dazai was out the door and on his way to see you again. The annoying ringing of his cellphone wasn't present; which means that Kunikida probably laid off of him and let him go home early.
He doesn't even remember going home, doesn't remember the sidewalk, the train ride, or the winding little path leading to the quaint little neighborhood; doesn't remember unlocking the front door and taking his shoes off, heart beginning to race again as it protests for the mind to uphold it's part of the deal.
"Y/N?.." he calls weakly; stumbling around your shared home. "Y/N!"
His mind begins to race, panicking; what if you had gotten kidnapped? or hurt? what if the Port Mafia took you? what if-- but his thoughts were cut off when the angel that is you, in your everlasting glory, appeared; dressed in shorts and a sweater, surprised (and a little concerned) to why he was home so early and stumbling around your shared house like a drunkard.
He barely hears the worried gasp of his name; barely processes anything before he's lunging for you, arms flying around your torso and coiling around it, tears coming to his eyes as he sobs in relief, crying and blubbering as he's finally back in your loving arms.
He feels the hand you have on his head caressing his hair gently as if he were a glass ornament that would break apart at the slightest touch, and he cries harder; burying his face into your stomach as he sinks down closer to the floor. He feels you crouching down with him; cradling his head against your chest as you murmur warm words that slither inside through his ears to his heart, comforting it as you hold him in your embrace.
You had never seen him like this; had always known the strong, brave Dazai Osamu; had always seen the confident, cocky, brave persona he put on. Whenever you tried to coddle him, he had brushed it off; but you never missed the slight twitch of his eyes, the lingering look in them as he turned away, the way his hand rested on top of yours for a second too long before he pulled away.
That's why you kept going; kept pushing at his walls, begging and pleading for him to let them down; that you weren't going to hurt him like everybody else, weren't going to be let in only to stab at everything in a frenzy like everyone else. No, you wanted to love him; to cherish him and to make him feel loved as you protected him from the world and it's miseries the way he did to countless other individuals.
And it worked; hence the events of today, as Dazai clings to your sweater and sobs.
"Shhh... Shhh.. baby, what's wrong?.." you murmur, finally; petting his hair as he begins to quiet down, obediently following your words.
"M-Missed you." he states, quietly, simply. "Missed y-you so much; c-couldn't think. Could-dn't do a-anything. Missed you so bad..." he whispers, tearing up again.
"Shh.." you whisper again; lifting his face up and kissing his cheeks. "Cmon, baby; you can tell me what's wrong. It's alright, darling."
And Dazai Osamu only falls deeper in love with you.
--
YAHOO!! sorry if u wanted smt else this was the way i interpreted it :(
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bee-writes-n-spins · 5 months
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the mask goes on the minute other people look.
make eye contact. too much, look away. now smile and nod. stop bouncing your leg. make them like you.
those are his thoughts. because too many people have called him weird. too many people have pointed and laughed. too many people made fun of him for just being himself.
oh, but you..
you remind him it's okay to unmask. you smile, listening to him ramble about his interests. you could listen for hours and never get bored.
when you notice his discomfort in a crowd. when you help him communicate when he's too overwhelmed to talk.
with you, the ribbon that holds the mask together comes undone. with you, his mask falls to the ground.
POE, RANPO, dazai, GIYUU, kenma, l lawliet, near, WANDERER, AL HATHIAM, kaveh, LYNEY, and any of your autistic favorites!
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gfdazai · 1 month
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Combing his hair. ♡
Dazai is implied to have a negative mental health episode, established relationship, blah blah blah. GN reader. 750~ish words. I still don't know how to end fics.
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Dazai feels broken. Useless. He still hasn't gotten out of bed, and it's 11am. He should've been at work three hours ago, yet he can't find the will to.
He's lying there, wanting to move, but he can't. He can't bother even rolling over to get a drink. The bottles from the previous night lie by his bed, some knocked over, some still standing up.
He forces himself onto his side, trying to ignore the stinging pain of his back, and the pounding, repeating pain of his headache. His groan goes quiet when he hears the front door unlock, open, and shut.
You're here... Again. He did say you could stop by whenever, but he doesn't want to see you right now. Not when he's like this — not when his apartment is like this. He wishes he could shove you out, deep clean and then let you back in.
"Doors open." He barks lazily once he hears you approaching the door. He wants to turn and get up, give you a kiss; but he can't find it in him to even roll over and face the door.
He can barely spare a blink when he hears the door creak open — he's been meaning to get you to fix that. "Osamu?" He slowly blinks, forcing his gaze away from the wall and to your form.
"Bad day?"
"Mm." He hums blankly as an answer, his eyes slowly following you as you get on the bed beside him.
"Wanna talk about it?"
He doesn't answer, feeling you move him a little. His head isn't on the pillows anymore, now on your lap. It's a bit of a distraction from him feeling his clothes on his skin.
"...You wanna take a shower?" You question softly, feeling his forehead to check for a fever. He seems colder, rather than burning hot. He shakes his head a smidge.
"Well, uh... I'll admit, I don't know what else to offer." You chuckle, and he melts a little at the sound. You're always so sweet and gentle to him, it makes him nauseous. He doesn't... Deserve this.
"...Can I brush your hair?" You ask softly, placing your hand gently on the back of his head, rubbing your thumb against his messy, greasy hair.
He blinks slowly, forcing himself to nod a little. "Mhm.." He swallows, trying to wet his dry mouth. "Please." His voice is weak... Broken, and shaky. Like he hasn't had a drink in the past week... Or maybe that's because he hasn't water in the past 24 hours.
You smile a little, "okay." You say softly, looking over at his nightstand. You grab a dark blue comb, gently sectioning off his hair, before starting to comb through it.
A few minutes pass, and you're onto the next section. "I bought you more crab. Some of it is canned, but I got some of that fancy stuff that you said you wanted last time we went out together." You say. He blinks a few times, clearing his throat halfheartedly.
"...Really?" He mumbles softly. "That's... Too much. I can pay you back." His finger twitches as he starts to force his hands to move, but he stops when you press him back down.
"No, it's really nothing. Think of it as a late, uh... Present for national crab meat day?" You smile a little, and he smiles a little back.
"Oh?... Thank you." He sighs softly, feeling you move onto the next section of his hair.
A few moments pass... "...Are you mad I didn't stop by last night?" He mumbles, his eyes fluttering closed, not wanting to see if he hurt you. He hears you sigh, and his heart drops. This is it — he fucked it all up, he's gonna be alone again, and you'll move on, and he'll end up —
"Of course not. You did say that you might be too busy to stop by." He blinks, opening his eyes and looking up at you.
"...Oh." He mumbles. "I didn't think you'd be so... Okay. About it." He swallows, eyes falling back down to his mattress.
You finish combing his hair, grabbing a hairtie from your pocket and gathering as much of his hair as you can, tying it up. "Ta-da." His heart melts at your giggle.
"Mhm..." He yawns softly, closing his eyes. "Love you." He mumbles, exhaling gently...
"Love you too, 'samu." You press a gentle kiss to his forehead, before leaning back against the headboard, letting the silence play for the both of you.
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Please don't steal my work, nor feed it to any sort of AI. Thank you! ♡
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xo-cuteplosion-xo · 7 months
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Elemental Hair Abilty Reader
My works on Tumblr are here
Synopsis: Reader’s hair is their ability, like an elemental spirit almost: HC’s Link to ask
Character(s): Chuuya, Fyodor (separately?)
Warnings: Past abuse mentioned (Idk I count cutting a child's hair that they cherished over them, not picking up some toys at 6 as abusive-)
Words: Chuuya=322 Fyodor=453 total 775
Chuuya:
Absolutely loves your hair
Like will not stop staring when you use it to threaten somebody
Can’t tell if he likes the danger of lava or the look of the wines more
Thinks you're absolutely stunning, absolutely the star of his eyes
The first time he saw you use it he was confused
He didn’t understand the use until he saw the absolute control you have of the movements.
Stealthy and strong
As his s/o he makes sure that nobody steps on your hair when you're sitting
And if you're on a mission, he covers blind spots and things you miss to keep you from harm.
He notices the pain you get from your hair being cut and of course how you grimace when on a mission and somebody cuts your vines
He’ll get really defensive and squash… I mean that literally… the soul that cut your hair.
He’s amazed at the strength you have and often apologizes for underestimating you when he first met you.
He’s always watching those around you, he won’t ever understand why you jolt when a stranger goes to touch your hair. He’ll never understand why you only let him touch it slowly… just the ends at first until he could finally rest his hand on your head or braid it.
He’s noticed a defense of yours when it looks like damage will be done to your hair, you make it into something that can’t be cut, like flowing tendrils of water or dripping blobs of lava.
He does try to understand your fears and when you are hurting he takes care of you. He tries to lessen the pain as much as he can. He holds you close.
And oh when he finds out what scarred you like this…
His hands will be all over making sure you're safe from them and perhaps beating it into them.
He doesn’t like when people hurt his love.
Fyodor:
Very interested
The second he found you, and saw that ability, he was intrigued.
He needed to understand it
Ofc he doesn’t get close right away but he works up to getting to know you
He watches you carefully
He notes how the ability works
He writes you like a book in his memory
Every flinch, each reaction to an event he memorizes as if they were simple words on paper
He doesn’t quite understand you, can’t seem to find the reason, only hypothetical equations to the events that have led to your current self.
He loves the “purity” of your ability
There’s so many uses for it.
From murder in all sorts of fun ways to punish the “sinners” of this world to saving through cauterizing wounds with the flow of lava to moving things.
You're a destructive force worthy of him
He may see you as somebody to move about in his game but oh are you his favorite piece.
A piece that can fit anywhere and everywhere.
Beautiful like an angel … his angel
He loves watching you switch from element to element. 
It’s beautiful to see the transition start from the top of your head to the base unless you go from the ability to your natural state, slowly from the bottom it recoils to your natural length and splits into tiny pieces of hair.
He’s patient with you
Waits until you trust him
Then he makes a move, coiling hair around his fingers gentle and affirming as he plays with it. 
He keeps his hands where your eyes can see, be that through a mirror or by keeping his hands full of your hair in front of you.
He waits until you are no longer stiff to ask for details, to confirm his theories. 
Of course, he was right.
And that person, if they still exist, is gone. 
Those who dare to “dirty” his angel should be punished, yes?
He adores you, his favorite piece in the game… a possible weakness.
Though outside the field in the comfort of each other, he doesn’t mind playing with your hair.
He’ll style it using tips he learned from Nikolai and boy… he’s horrible at it.
He can’t make an actual braid the first four times.
You have to guide him but he’ll never admit to that.
He tries to keep you from harm but when you are in pain because your hair has been cut he pulls a nice bath for you and lets you soak hoping to distract you from the hair.
He finds it interesting that your hair is like a limb… feeling pain as you do.
Each individual strand has its own life… 
Truly angelic and spectacular.
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chuunai · 4 months
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baby daddy dazai ! who first feels a wave of panic when he sees the discarded positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash can. you’re pregnant. with his baby. the thought of leaving you during the night briefly enters his mind, but it soon leaves after he remembers the promise to odasaku that he made. be on the side that protects people. well—that includes this baby, too.
baby daddy dazai ! who decides to bring it one night when you two are cuddling in your shared futon. he’s there to hold you as you cry and cling onto you, reassuring you that he wouldn’t leave and that’d he be there for you and the baby. later, when you’re calmed down, he insists on sleeping with his head on your stomach.
baby daddy dazai ! who’s there for you during your brutal first trimester. the constant morning sickness, fatigue, mood swings, etc. he lessens his suicide jokes and attempts, focusing on you.
baby daddy dazai ! who brags about your pregnancy at the ADA. instead of doing his work, he shows off your ultrasound photos—hanging them up on his desk so everyone can see. kunikida’s happy for you both, but he’s done hearing about baby this, baby that.
baby daddy dazai ! who marvels over your swelling belly, rubbing it hesitantly. he spent years taking lives, and now he’s made one with you. it terrifies and excites him. he’s glued to your baby bump—have fun trying to keep his hands off it.
baby daddy dazai ! who complains to your unborn child about work and how annoying chuuya is. as annoying as that redhead is, he’s deemed godfather of the baby. someone’s gotta pay for the expenses.
baby daddy dazai ! who refuses to let you do anything when you reach the end of your pregnancy, even learning how to cook your cravings so you don’t strain your body. you want to go pee for the tenth time today? he’s carefully leading you there. your waddling is funny, too, and so he can’t resist giggling. you shut him up with a swat to his head.
baby daddy dazai ! who can’t wait to hold your hand during labor. to see the product of your love and hold it in his arms. protect and love it, too. he hopes it’s a boy. odasaku’s name would suit his baby well.
Tags: @twst-om-lover, @sinfulthoughtsposts
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deonsx · 8 months
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Seduce Them..
Feat: Dazai,Chuuya,Fyodor
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Content: Smut, nsfw, teasing, handcuff
Dazai Osamu
You have been living in the same house with your boyfriend for a long time, and today, while you were resting at home and your boyfriend was at work, you thought of giving him a surprise
You went to your closet and pulled out a beautiful nightgown that you had never worn before but bought anyway It was evening quickly and osamu must not have taken his key because the ringing of the bell echoed in the house you went to the door excitedly and finally opened the door to the man you have been waiting for all day
brown orbs quickly looked at his girlfriend in front of him in a beautiful red nightgown, her hair light and radiant “My, My..” "hmm what's wrong my love? won't you come in?"
I dressed like this for him he wanted so easily it's always been easy for him and tonight, osamu looked very tired just now but now his eyes are open and he was busy staring at you "is my beautiful bella so adorned for me"
callused hands reaching for you and wrapping your arms around him first a deep kiss greeted and he quickly picked you up you could feel his grin as he bent down and left kisses on your neck
By the time she was moved into the bedroom, her trench coat and trousers had already fallen to the floor.he tug at the burgundy dress with the zipper on the back and unzip it "you're impatient" you say with a chuckle
“How can ı my beauty..?” You thought that the bruises he left on his body would be permanent in the next morning, he quickly took off his clothes and ran his hands on his waist and chest
Of course he was going to make fun of you, you gasped when he put 2 fingers in it "h-ah You again.." “How can I stop having fun with my beautiful woman, right my love?”
you felt a knot in my stomach as you kept moving your fingers "o-osamu" "sorry honey but not that fast" stopped everything
“Everything Just Begins”
Chuuya Nakahara
You messed around in your house You spent hours digging Chuuya's favorite wine He had a room for his wine collection it was a success for you to find it
You set a dinner table with the autumn before your lover came, and you wore beautiful jewelery to look beautiful to him The clock rang at night, and the door was opened with the key, and you were sitting at the table waiting for him just then. When your boyfriend comes in, his eyes search for you and he sees you at the table in a black lace nightgown holding the wine bottle in his hand “Oh.. Was this beauty made for me?” He couldn’t take his eyes off you and a slight grin appeared on his face
“My bae did you like it?” I chuckled and put on a mocking face. "I can show you yellow if you want it that much" "I want you to have your drink first" I looked at him with a curious expression on his face but it seemed like he already had an idea
Leaning towards you, he took the wine from your hand, "I'll come to the room, I'll come to you" you thought about what you could do, but do what you said you went to the room and started to wait for him
he came in with a handcuffs and what you guessed was a glass of wine "hm? what's on your mind?" "I just want you to follow my orders my love" he bent over and tied you to the bed with handcuffs he climbed on top of you kisses wrapped around your body he took off your clothes so fast that before you could tell the bites multiplied
after taking off his clothes, he took the glass of wine from the coffee table and poured it slowly on your body, shivering with its coldness "it will be fun to taste two things I love at the same time"
tied your feet to his waist with his tongue lived every drop of wine you struggled to hold back your moans "my love you gotta let me hear your voice"
“You Should Moan For Me Tonight”
Fyodor Dostoyevski
your boyfriend was going about his business as usual in his room, but now you were tired of it, he couldn't find time for you from his dark thoughts in that computer room and he wasn't one to apologize for it
it's unlikely to be called out of the room so you've decided to turn off the power tonight, make sure you've covered your bedroom with candles before executing this plan “"I'm sorry my love but you won't be able to ignore me today"
The hour has come and you went out to the garden to cut off the electricity, all the lights went out quickly, when you came back you found Fyodor sitting at the table, you didn't expect him to come so fast
"I hope you have a good excuse for that, my dear" he squinted his eyes at you, his face was illuminated by the candles placed around him while he was asking you this question, he looked at the blue dress he was wearing and thought that there was no need for an answer
"I guess I don't need to talk much honey I want to spend the night with you" Fyodor's eyes swept over his body, looking at the prepared beauty his face didn't exactly show any reaction "then you realize you're going to be punished"
in the blink of an eye you find yourself in the bedroom face down against the wall, so he unzip your dress behind you with cold hands you get rid of your clothes while you feel his breath on your neck
then he gently put you on the bed and climbed on top of you, causing you to gasp, putting his hand on your neck, blocking your breathing. "A woman turned on by that?" a slight grin appeared on your face he took his hand from your throat "you're wet my love"
“Tonight Your Everything Belongs To Me”
I hope you like it because I had fun writing it there may be some typos^^
!Request Are Open! (^_^)
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anqelically · 11 months
Note
I’m so sorry if I’m bothering you with a lot of tecchou’s requests but I love him😭if you want, you can write annyone else too. May I request tecchou’s having a nightmare (like s/o being a cheater or dying, whatever you want) and then he wakes up and s/o is hugging him in her sleep (I’m so sorry for my bad English, was hard for me to request this ㅠㅠ)
they have nightmares about you headcanons
featuring...! tecchou suehiro, dazai osamu, ranpo edogawa & akiko yosano
content: no manga spoilers, comfort, dreams with blood and death, a little ooc to me (especially dazai's eww)
navi | bsd masterlist | pt.2
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TECCHOU SUEHIRO
he chose to chase after the criminals, and that led you to be killed in his nightmare
tecchou felt strongly about justice, everyone that knew who he was knew that. so on missions, he was always sure to take care of criminals and save civilians
in his nightmare, things were getting rough on a mission. the two of you, the only ones working, were split up from each other. instead of making his way towards you, tecchou hunted down the leader of the crime organization on his own
you should’ve been alright as a fellow hunting dog. but in this situation, you became heavily injured. you were bleeding out for who knows how long when tecchou found you
“it’s okay,” you reassured him as you bled out, “we all make mistakes sometimes. this one… this one just happened to be a bit more troubling, haha.”
when he wakes up from this nightmare, you’re still sleeping peacefully next to him. he’s freighted, so what he does is try to wake you up. you look at him groggily once he does
i definitely think that tecchou’s facial expression would make it obvious that he was scared. his eyes are opened slightly wider and hand has a slight tremble as it holds your arm
“hey, tell me what’s wrong? did you have a nightmare?”
at your touch and voice, tecchou lets out a breath he had been holding in. the events replay in his mind before he tells you what happened
he places a hand over his heart once he realizes that telling you everything has helped him calm down. he knows you were listening to every word, and he appreciates not only that, but the fact that you were still there with him
“don’t leave me, y/n,” tecchou begged.
his slender fingers were intertwined with yours while he pulled them close to his chest. he had never been as scared of losing anyone that much until you came along. he was strong, and so were you, but loving you came with the natural fear of loss.
you promised, “i won’t. i won’t leave you, i swear.”
before you guys go back to sleep, he’ll fall into your arms and will become the little spoon. my bb just wants to be held after experiencing that nightmare :((
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OSAMU DAZAI
he lost you in his nightmare
dazai says that he loses things he doesn’t want to lose, which made this dream— nightmare all too real
it was like reliving everything that happened with oda. you were already at death’s door when he arrived and as you walked past that door, his blood-stained arms held you
i don’t see dazai waking up to this nightmare screaming, crying, or even telling you about it. a silly nightmare was all it was, right?
but if he has that same silly nightmare constantly, then i imagine that he’d lose sleep over it. the nightmare was a reminder that you were someone important for him to lose. avoiding it meant sleeping less, or not even sleeping at all
not knowing the details, you were concerned about if he was sleeping well, or sleeping at all. you fall asleep before he does, but he seems to be wide awake when you just get up in the early morning
although he tried to be energetic around you like normal, it wouldn’t be long before he’d laze around as if something was clouding his mind
if you make the decision to confront him, dazai will surely play dumb at first
“work is just so tiring these days! kunikida won’t stop piling work on me~” a lie.
you only figure out he lied once kunikida calls you. since you don’t work at the agency, you’ve only talked with him and a few of the other members a few times
“thank you for calling me, kunikida-san. i appreciate it.”
you found yourself bowing to dazai’s co-worker while you all stood by the main office door. a few of the other members sat at their desks, either watching or minding their own business.
the blond called you to bring dazai, who had been constantly sleepy as of late, home. although he ignored the work he was given, he still managed to act exhausted instead of lazy like he normally would. if he wasn’t going to get anything done during the day, he might as well be sent home to rest.
dazai rubbed the back of his neck, thinking that his partner calling you to the agency was unnecessary. not only that, but his cover had been blown. once you finish talking with kunikida, you take dazai’s hand and walk with him to your shared apartment. it was a quiet walk from there to home.
the moment he’s inside, dazai will flop onto the couch. it takes a little bit of convincing to get him to talk about the repeating nightmare
he thinks he doesn’t need it at first, but comforting him actually affects him greatly. it lets him know that he has your support as he fights his own battles. please have him close so that he can put his hands on your waist and rest his head by the crook of your neck
“you can tell me anything,” you tell him. “there’s a lot about yourself you keep a secret, and that’s okay. i get that there are things you can’t find yourself to share, but this is something you have to. talking about these things are important, dazai. i don’t want you losing sleep over it, m’kay? just talk with me.”
to love and be loved is a curse— but even so, dazai couldn’t resist
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RANPO EDOGAWA
you were set up to be killed and he didn’t realize until it was too late in his nightmare
as the greatest detective in the world, nothing seemed unbeatable to ranpo. though there have been some obstacles, there was always a way to win in the end. well, that’s what he thought
his sleeping mind toyed with him by placing you in a situation where there was no way for you to live. fyodor had set up a plan to kill you, a valuable asset to the agency, and it went right under ranpo’s nose
it obviously felt so real to ranpo. so if he wakes up and you aren’t with him in bed, he’s afraid that maybe everything wasn’t a nightmare. he scurries out of bed and to the first place you’d be
“come back to bed.”
sometimes, you’d find yourself wide awake in the middle of the night. it was a problem that settled down when you got together with ranpo, but still happened on a few occasions. whenever it did, you sat on the balcony of your shared apartment and read a book. if the weather was harsh, you’d read in your study.
you were surprised when ranpo suddenly told you to go back to bed with him. his voice was more pleading than you ever heard it to be, leading you to think something was wrong.
you shut the book in your hands, “hey… are you okay?”
i feel like ranpo would play it off as something stupid that he doesn’t even understand, but you know better. the two of you would have to be hugging in bed for him to tell you what happened. as he does, his hands grasp the back of your shirt and he buries his face into your chest
once he finishes, he already knows what you’re going to say. you wouldn’t let yourself fall into fyodor’s hands that easily, so he shouldn’t think about it
“stay in bed from now on,” ranpo suggested. “if you wake up, read your book here.”
“but what if you wake up?”
“doesn’t matter to me.” he’s shy to admit it, but, “you scared me…”
safe to say, ranpo prefers to have you by his side so he can hug you if he was to ever wake up from any nightmares (my bb <3 im so soft for him rn)
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AKIKO YOSANO
you died before she could save you in her nightmare
yosano wasn’t sure how she got there, but she had been running for what seemed to be forever. the aching in her feet seemed all too real as she sprinted towards where you were
but once she found you, it was too late. your wounds were deep and your blood was everywhere. she tried to use her ability, but it was futile to even try. the butterflies of her ability appeared, but your heart just wouldn’t beat again
“y/n, please,” the woman cried.
it was happening all over again. that soldier… a kind soul that couldn’t carry the weight of war any longer. he was gone, and yosano tried so desperately to bring him back. now, you were in his situation— gone and never able to return.
she let out a scream, both in that nightmare and in real life. it obviously woke you up, and you were quick to respond by holding her forearms
once reality sets in and she realizes it was only a nightmare, yosano is quick to take a deep breath. as a doctor, she’s had to help calm down patients many times. she knows what to do in order to ease her own mind, yet it was harder to do that she thought
her lips trembled as the breaths she let out were short and shaky. even if you hold her, her fists are clenched. it takes a moment with you rubbing her back to calm her nerves
being with her means you know her past with mori during the war. if you knew all about that, then yosano will definitely be open about the nightmare
she immediately feels a sense of relief after telling you about it, but is still shaken up. yosano will embrace you and try to fall asleep in your arms, even if the image of your dead body keeps on popping up in her mind
“a nightmare,” you reassure her, “it’s just a nightmare. i’m right here, darling.”
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note: hi nonnie!! literally request for tecchou all you want (when my requests are open), I'm absolutely here for it!! someone else requested something similar and i planned to put all the requested characters in one post, but it was a lot so I'm splitting it into two <3
reblogs are appreciated + join my taglist !
@nagicore @enomane @er0ses @spenzitz @wineaddict2904 @aeshiiteiru @chuuyrr @ashthemadwriter @sanjis-fav-w1fe @bejeweledgirl @ma3mae @piichuu
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Bad Dream (Dazai x Reader)
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Art credits to haru9033 on Twitter (X or whatever the new name is)
Look at my cinnamon bun, my sweet baby. He's safe in my bed y'all! This is 100% self-indulgent because my therapy is until the 18th so I needed a distraction after reading chapter 109.
In which we have a nightmare (chapter 109 is the fucking nightmare) and Dazai comforts us to the best of his abilities. He's trying ok!
Should I write comfort for Sigma? When I get my hands on that rat!
Bye now - Mars ♡
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Your eyes shot open, big and filled to the brim with tears. You felt your heart beating out of your chest, the muscle pumping larger amounts of blood under the silly impression that you’re dying. You were dying. It felt so, at least.
This unbearable tight feeling in your chest, like someone had your heart in their hands and was continuously wringing. Tighter and tighter. Your throat, stiff and dry, made your body feel worse. You could barely get a word out.
Dreams have a funny way of feeling too real and your silly little brain confuses reality with them. But it felt so real.
An overwhelmingly dreadful feeling engulfs your chest.
Breathe. Breathe.
The man beside you sleeping peacefully, or so it looked. Your legs intertwined with each other, and his head rested up against your breast without fully being on top of you. You try to calm yourself down, not wanting to wake your lover. It’s rare he gets any sleep. His own mind a steady home for ugly thoughts.
Gently you push him away from your body and get up, making your way to the kitchen. You poured yourself a glass of cold water and chug it down.
“Bella…” Dazai calls from the doorway, his face filled with sleep and his hair messy yet he still managed to look beautiful. He’s always beautiful.
“Oh… Osamu” you said weakly with a smile. “Just got a bit thirsty” you lie. You’ve figured out a while ago that it’s impossible to lie to him. The man was simply too smart.
Dazai smiled and approached you, his hands finding homage on your waist. “Bad dream?” he asked and leaned down holding you close. He rubbed his cheek against yours.
You nod, “I can’t hide anything from you huh?” his grip on your waist tightens ever so slightly. “No.”
He hums and leads you back to your bedroom. “Come, sit” he sits down on the bed leaning against the headboard and pulls you down onto his lap, “Tell me about it” His voice low and gentle. He radiates a certain comfort, or maybe it was because you’ve grown to love him so dearly that you naturally seek comfort from him.
Dazai places a kiss on your forehead, his hand rubbing your back trying to soothe you.
“Osamu…I…” You take a deep breath, “you… you died” your voice breaks and the tears roll down your cheeks. He brings his other hand up to your cheek, wiping away your tears. “I know it’s just a dream, but it felt too real and-and” you bury your face into the crook of his neck. His scent working as a grounding method, you breathe him in deeply. He smells like home.
Your home.
“I just don’t want to lose you” the tears kept flowing and your voice trembles as you speak.
“Bella I’m here” Dazai pulls you closer to his body as if to prove his point. “Right here my love” he leans down and kisses you. The kiss is slow, long, sloppy and each passing second, he presses himself closer into you. “I’m not going anywhere” he whispers against your lips.
He knows he’s contradicting himself. He knows. He knows he sounds like a hypocrite because he’s always mentioning suicide and asking you to die alongside him but right now. Right now, seeing you like this, crying and trembling he feels his heart breaks to pieces. And crying because of a stupid dream of him dying makes it even worse.
He knows it’s selfish but how he’s happy. Because he feels so loved right now. You’re crying over him, even if it’s just his dream self, you’re still crying for him. His heart does a little flutter. Still his main priority is comforting you, he’s no stranger to nightmares and you’re always there to comfort him when he’s bothered by his own ugly thoughts and dreams.
But Dazai felt so helpless, and he uttered out the most cliché words, but he couldn’t help it. Not when his love is trembling in fear right in his arms. 
“Samu you” you exhales, trying to find your composure but every time you think you’ve stopped crying the minute you look into his eyes the tears start coming again. It was horrible, the image of your nightmare just replaying in your head.
Wrapping your hands around him you hug him tightly, you’re afraid he may not be able to breathe so you release it a bit. “Don’t fucking die” you threaten and Dazai can’t help but smile. This woman.
“Bella sshh” he seeks out your lips, kissing you again. “M’here, right here, yeah?” he pulls back and hold your face with both hands and rests his forehead against yours.
You’ve calmed down a bit, forehead resting against his. “Osamu, just” you found it hard to speak. Your body slightly trembling, seeking your lover’s touch.  “Don’t move, just hold me…please”
He wraps his arms tighter around your form, you snuggle into him and close your eyes.
Dazai found himself humming softly and patting your back in a comforting manner. He kept doing so until he felt your light snore and the slower heartbeat. The steady thump thump thump comforting him.
“I love you very much and I won’t leave” he whispered and placed a kiss on the crown of your head.
.
That night Dazai Osamu stayed awake and kept his lover tightly secured in his arms, looking over and comforting them.
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bau-bee312 · 3 days
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♡ 𝐈 𝐝𝐮𝐛 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐞٫ 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐧𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲! ♡
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Reader gender not specified. Slightly OOC.
for us sleepy girls <3
♡*:. 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 who is definitely a stranger to high amounts of love from others. Even through his sexual relations in his port mafia days he never had the pleasure let alone the opportunity to feel true love and affection from the people surrounding him.
♡*:. 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 who feels a overwhelming mixture of surprise and a foreign exuberance when you plop down on top of him suddenly as he lays on the agency couch. You had seen him laze around the office every day and had never allowed yourself to join him no matter how long he pleaded. However today you had finished your reports early and decided to take a nap on the couch, with him.
♡*:. 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 who has absolutely no idea how to react at the sudden closeness. He stiffened up almost immediately, eyes racing down to where you now lay. With your one arm draped across him, the leg that wasn’t hanging off the narrow couch hooked on one of his, and to top it all off you had your head resting on him, head sideways so you could breath, resulting in a smooshed cheek as you looked back at him with half lidded eyes.
♡*:. 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 who for once had nothing to say, but he quickly and expertly wiped the bewilderment off of his regularly composed face. He shot you a boyish grin as a replacement.
♡*:. 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 who’s quick to speak, as always. “Oh? To what do I owe the pleasure of such a comfy visit from my darling?”
♡*:. 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 Who is pleasantly surprised when you hush him, rasping something alone the lines of “Just enjoy it”
♡*:. 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 Who has no objections and pulls you up closer to his face by your waist. Resting his chin on your head as he feels your breath slow and pan out. Realizing then how tired you must have been.
♡*:. 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 who decides to follow your words and close his eyes as well. He wasn’t going to sleep, not when you were cuddled up to him so perfectly. He gently raked a hand through your soft hair absentmindedly.
♡*:. 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 Who maybe never felt love, but this was probably it. At least it was in his book.
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Do NOT post my works as your own.
I’m so sorry it’s short 😭
-XOXO Bau
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kimetsu-chan · 7 days
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~can’t sleep headcanons~
A/N: I’ve been sleeping crappy the past three nights and tn I extra doubly can’t sleep, so ofc I’m writing this at 4 am 🤩 (I apologize in advance for any mistakes made—)
Characters: Akutagawa, Fyodor, Dazai, Ranpo
TWs ⚠️ reader cries, bc I cried(Fyodor, Dazai), Nicknames (Myshka)(Fyodor) (Belladonna, Donna)(Dazai), GN!Reader
Man, being tired is rough—
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Akutagawa Ryūnosuke
Akutagawa most likely wouldn’t notice right away
whether that be because he is asleep, out of the house, or just busy in general
but he would come home one day to you laying face down on your shared bed, spread out like a star fish
he’d raise an eyebrow at you before checking if you were awake
once he confirmed that you were, he would question why you were up so late
and in your tired state, you would unintentionally retort back with unusual hostility in your tone
“[Name], why is it that you are awake at two in the morning.”
“Why are you just coming home from work at two in the morning.”
His mouth would instantly shut, not used to your annoyance
you would almost immediately apologize with a distraught expression on your face and he would immediately understand
seeing the reason for your stress, he quickly dismissed your earlier words
he would be quick in showering himself before slipping into bed with you and wrapping his arms around you
he didn’t really like physically affection often, he had a tough guy facade to hold up. But he guessed he could make an exception for you
Fyodor Dostoevsky
This man doesn’t sleep much either, so he doesn’t bother scolding you for it
he is likely the only one to actually be helpful about it
he would be working away at his desk in your guys’ room, and he would hear the rustling of sheets behind him
he would turn in his chair to look back at you with a blank expression
Fyodor had heard your struggles to sleep during previous nights, but tonight, you finally seemed to have had enough
he got up when he heard you angrily adjust your pillow, and made his way to the bedside before crouching down beside you
he saw the angry expression you bore on your face and blew on your face to wake you up
your teary eyes opened to glare at him and he realized just how frustrated you were
he reached out to wipe those tears before they could fall as he spoke in a quiet voice
”Now, now, Myshka, what’s with the tears?”
“‘m s’tired… but I can’t sleep no matter how hard I try-!”
Fyodor would hum in understanding, you were just exhausted
he stood back up all the way and figured he had some time to spare
he pulled you up and made his way to the kitchen with you tiredly clinging to his arm
”Let’s have a glass of milk, that should help.”
Dazai Osamu
He’s probably dead asleep beside you, and therefore won’t be of much help
there is also a good chance that he is the reason for your lack of sleep
this man will be sprawled all over you. And I mean all over you
he would have one leg thrown over yours, he would have his arm(s) wrapped around you in some way
he just has to be touching you
he also moves around a lot
which you normally don’t mind, but adding that to already not being able to sleep, geez you were frustrated
dont get me wrong, he is perfectly capable of being still and to himself in his sleep
he just doesn’t want to-
he can’t help wanting to be in constant contact with his precious Belladonna all night
but when you nudge him awake with tears ready to fall from your eyes, he instantly throws his wants out the window
he’d frown and wipe your tears away before asking what was wrong
“Oh ‘Donna— why are you crying?”
“I can’t- sleep, and you’re movin’ around s’much and it’s not helping..”
You didn’t mean to make it sound like it was his fault (even though it kinda was-)
but I’m your exhausted state, you couldn’t control it
instantly filled him as he pressed a kiss to your forehead
“I’m sorry ‘Donna… I’ll be still, I promise”
Ranpo Edogawa
Just like Dazai, he is likely the reason you cannot sleep in the first place
I headcanon that he is also a super restless sleeper in the sense that he moves a whole bunch
and maybe even kicks
so imagine you’re tired, and almost falling off the bed because he is taking all the space
deciding that you had enough, you grabbed your pillow and a spare blanket and trudged over towards the couch before plopping your tired self right down on it
you closed your eyes with a huff when you tucked yourself in, and began to drift off when you felt a weight on you
you opened your eyes to see Ranpo looking down at you
there was concern in his eyes, despite the unserious-ness of his statement
”[Name]? Why’d you leave? The world’s best detective needs his cuddle buddy.”
You quickly explained the reason of his absence and he nodded
you waited for a few seconds for him to leave, but he just stayed on top of you and made himself comfortable
“I guess I’ll just sleep on top of you then!”
His weight was actually kinda nice, and he was making an effort to be as still as possible
you eventually were pulled to sleep with the sound of your lover’s soft breathing in your ears
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A/N: these were fun to write 🥰
but they took an hour—
n e ways
it is now almost five in the morning so I might as well just be up front wh rest of the day 😃
Reblogs with tags are appreciated!
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