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#what's her name????? somebody TELL me
lachryphage · 1 year
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what's her name
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narrator-kun · 5 months
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ok. i have an. idea transmigrator sha hualing x liu mingyan but its post-canon HEAR ME OUT OK it would. be funny
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theidiotabides · 8 months
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Rachel was stomping the ground back down, trying to flatten it out so it wouldn’t look strange. “Jake?” I said. “Let’s not do this again any time soon.” He nodded shakily. “One day I’m a lobster. Then I’m an ant. I figure the next step down the evolutionary ladder is a virus or something. And I just want to say right now, I’m not doing it. I am not going to become phlegm, even to save the world.” It wasn’t much of a joke, but there was a kind of lame little laugh from everyone. And Rachel stopped stomping the ants - I mean, the ground. (#5: The Predator)
It's unreliable narrator hours with ya boy Marco
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nivq87 · 6 months
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man its 2023 and the ulduar machinima STILL makes me feel feral I love it
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shizucheese · 2 months
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Hey guys, we need to talk. Because a certain little something in TMAGP 8 is causing what is genuinely the most toxic part of the Magpod fandom at large to once again rear its ugly head. So let's talk about podcast character appearance head canons, shall we?
I'm tagging this with the Magnus Archives, TMA and Magpod tags because I am absolutely calling all of you out, but if you don't want spoilers for The Magnus Protocol episode 8 then stop reading right now.
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.
. Okay, so, Gerry exists in the TMAGP universe. He's happy (or at least acts cheerful). And some people have headcanoned this to mean that he is no longer goth, or at the very least isn't dying his hair black with bad box color. And other people have decided to get seriously agro over this. I have literally seen with my very own eyeballs someone call "un-gothing" Gerry a "hate crime" and calling the person they were talking to "gothphobic."
Let me make this absolutely clear for all of you: podcasts are a purely audio medium and unless a physical trait of theirs is explicitely stated, everyone's headcanon for how a character appears is valid. Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid. But also
Rainbow Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid. Pastel Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid.
Not Goth At All TMAGP Gerry is valid.
Bald Gerry who has actually gotten his brain cancer diagnosed in time and is getting treated for it is valid. Somebody's headcanon of a character that has no canonical description to them, or whose headcanon matches the few crumbs of canonical description we have but otherwise doesn't look the way you imagine them to, is not going to take away from your own headcanon of what a character looks like. If someone imagining or drawing a character looking a different way from how you imagine them looking somehow takes away from your enjoyment of the fandom or otherwise makes you feel like you need to barge in and tell them that they're Wrong and need to conform to your headcanon or else, that is a reflection on you, not them.
And this problem way predates TMAGP, let alone TMAGP 8. The only description we have of John is that he is in his early 30's and has prematurely greying hair.
If someone thinks he looks like the pastiest motherfucker to ever dwell in a basement, an extra-in-the-Adam's Family or Tim Burtan protagonist of a man, let them.
What's that? You want to tell them that John is BROWN and if they don't headcanon him looking that way they're WRONG and RACIST? Back away from the keyboard and go outside.
(Ironically, as someone who started getting grey hairs in my hair in my 20's myself, I'm pretty sure everyone's headcanon of John, with tiny little whisps of grey in his hair, is wrong, because if he was so grey that people were surprised to learn he was "a child of the 90's," he was probably full on salt-and-pepper when he was in his 20's.)
The only description we have for Martin is that he (man who canonically has the self esteem of a used doormat) describes himself as "not the smallest guy", Not-Sasha called him "roomy", Melanie is skinner than him, and Jonny said he imagined him as a "bigger guy" who would beat Alex in a physical fight. If someone decides to take this information and conclude that it means he's tall, broad and has muscle, rather than that he's overweight, fucking let them. If your first instinct to this is to run to your keyboard and call them "fatphobic" or otherwise bash them for it, I once again urge you to back away from your keyboard and go outside.
Someone headcanons Basira not wearing a headscarf? We have exactly 0 canonical physical description of her and the people who headcanon her as having one are basing that purely off of her name alone. Fucking let them. Someone headcanons Melanie and/ or Georgie as a skin color you don't agree with or a hairstyle you don't like? Fucking let them. As long as someone's headcanon of a character's description doesn't contradict the few canonical descriptions we have of a character, why do you care? Them having a different headcanon from you doesn't take away your right to imagine the characters looking however you like, anymore than it should take away their right to do the same. Someone headcanoning John as white (or Black, or Asian, or Mixed, or whatever) isn't going to make all of the fanart of John as brown with long hair suddenly disappear, nor the fanfiction describing him as such (although I do often wonder if the opposite is not true; is the fact that John looks the same in so much of the fanart I see on here really because of fandom "consensus", or is it because people are absolutely awful to anyone who draws him Different?). Someone headcanoning Martin as not fat isn't going to make the mountains of fanart of him as a fluffy little marshmallow vanish into the void (although I do remember hearing about someone getting bullied off the internet for daring to draw Martin as not fat). And someone headcanoning Gerry in TMAGP as not being goth isn't going to take away your preciouse goth TMAGP Gerry headcanon. That should be part of the fun of it, shouldn't it? Seeing what different images people have conjured in their heads of these characters we only get to experience with our ears, and celebrating the differences as well as the similarities? Why are we bullying people into conforming to one appearance of a character when no actual canonical appearance of them exists?
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gay-dorito-dust · 11 months
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hellooo, your writing is amazing so far i love it 🫶🏼
Could you do one for Hobie x fem reader, where the reader is friends with SpiderPunk AND Hobie. But she doesn’t know they’re the same person. And one day lovergirl rants about her fat ah crush on Hobie to him??
First off, thank you for enjoining my writing, I try my best with what working brain cells I have left 🤣
Ooh I love this idea very much! But I might make it a two parter cuz I defiantly went off request…oops…
Part 2
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You were just minding your business, chilling on the roof top of an abandoned apartment complex, mind a million miles elsewhere on a certain somebody when a flash of red and blue caught your eye and before you knew it; you company of one had became a company of two.
‘Heya Spidey, how are things?’ You greeted.
He shrugs, ‘the usual but what about you lil missis,’ he playfully nudges you, ‘head so far off into the clouds I’m actually feeling a little neglected over here.’ You laughed, shoving him away by his arm. ‘Oh come off it, will you? I just been thinking about this guy I’ve liked for a while now.’ You admitted and Hobie’s interest was immediately peaked.
For as long as he knew you, Hobie could barely remember the last time you had ever admitted to him in fancying someone, besides from a couple of incidences from way back that ended up backfiring; but other then that, you kinda made it a point not to talk about it, maybe in due to him thinking that whoever you did fancy at the time weren’t worth the effort you’d give had you perused them. You had often called him overprotective whenever you tell him about your crush of the week but Hobie would defend himself by saying he was merely looking out for you and didn’t want you getting hurt by some douchebag.
‘You don’t have to defend me from everything Hobie,’ you once told him as you were patching him up from beating the breaks off of your last crush because they were chatting shit about you behind your back, ‘whilst as sweet as it is but you can’t always be there to look out for me.’
‘Watch me.’ He replied, his view remaining completely unchanged. You sighed, knowing that once Hobie’s mind was made up, nothing you nor anyone else could do to change that. He was an akin to that of an immovable object when it came to his beliefs and views and it was amongst the many things you adored and admired about him most.
‘Oh yeah? And who’s the lucky guy?’ He asked casually leaning back on his arms, watching as you brought your knees close to your chest before resting your chin upon them as your eyes gaze out at nothing in particular; something Hobie noticed you often do when you were particularly in your feelings and needed something to hold onto and ground yourself before you became adrift in your own sea of emotions. It was cute to see you tucked in on yourself so tightly that he couldn’t be more thankful for the fact that you couldn’t see how dopey he must’ve looked beneath his mask.
‘Hobie. Hobie Brown.’
He blinked twice, nah, he must’ve heard that wrong, surely, his hearing must be going all scewiff.
‘Hobie Brown.’ He said his own name as though it was the first time he was ever saying it. Upon seeing the way your shoulders drop and your body becoming at ease upon hearing his name, along with the way you smiled gently and how your eyes seemed to beam with newfound light which all had only helped In affirming to Hobie that he did indeed hear you the first time. ‘What is it about the guy that’s got you all up in knots?’ He asked, trying to act as though you didn’t just indirectly admitted that you’ve got a crush on him to him.
‘Where do I start.’ You started, unable to fight against your own feelings that were swelling up within your chest when an image of Hobie appeared in the forefront of your mind, he was sat on your bed, eyes closed as he allowed himself to get lost within his guitar rifts, his calloused fingers expertly transitioned from chord to chord as it were muscle memory. ‘He’s just so cool and awesome and so forthright and opinionated in his views and beliefs that he’s not afraid to back down from a fight should it come down to it.’ You tell him with a sense of fondness in your voice.
Hobie was quick to notice how your hand fiddle with one of the many handmade pins he’s made you that you always paired up with any and every outfit you ever wore, even if they styles did clash but you didn’t seem to care; Whatever the reason for you reaching for the pins were, whether it’d be out of a need to feel out the closest thing you had in regards to him or it was just something you did out of habit, made Hobie warm within his chest that soon spread throughout his body. ‘Sounds like me and this Hobie guy are more alike then I originally thought.’
Your fingers stopped their fiddling and you suddenly looked at him as though you were just now realising something with the way your eyes bore into him, Hobie thought that you might’ve developed the ability to see through the mask that withheld his identity and into him, so much so that he couldn’t help but make a comment on it, ‘stare at me any harder sweetheart and your stare might burn right through my mask.’ You must’ve been deep into your thinking as you didn’t seem to have noticed that he had spoken at all and Hobie was starting to think that he might’ve been too relaxed with you as Spider-Man that you might have started to have it pieced together in your mind; after all you were smart, more so then what you give yourself credit for.
‘Now that you’ve mentioned it you and Hobie do share some of the same attributes and habits, I’m also pretty sure your similar height wise and even though your mask muffled your voice, it fills me with a sense of familiarity that it’s hard for me to put a finger on.’ You said as you leaned closer to him until you were partially merely a breath away from each other. Hobie didn’t know he was holding in a breath until you shrugged ‘but I could just be grasping at a straws, so I won’t dwell on it as much.’ and moved away from him back to your previous position.
As much as he would’ve loved to have you figure out his identity on your own terms. Hobie would prefer it best if he were the one to reveal himself to you but the moments where he wanted to never felt right and he didn’t want to you in danger by doing so, but he knew that there’d come a time where he would be greeted with a choice in wether to tell you the truth as to who he was or continue living like he has currently and potentially loose your trust because of his lack of transparency; Hobie couldn’t bear to think of loosing your trust but just as he has always done since becoming your friend, he was merely looking out for you and for your safety as they were always his top priorities.
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just-aake · 9 months
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Widow’s Charm
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: Natasha finds herself falling for Tony’s new lab assistant and weapons technician.
Warnings: fluff
Words: 3322
Natasha walks down the hallway towards Tony’s lab, holding her widow bite gauntlets in her hand. Typically, she would have just sent them down to be repaired, but an unexpected mission came up which means she needs them fixed sooner rather than later. Reaching the entrance of the lab, the doors slide open for her as she enters.
“Hey Tony, can you fix–,” Natasha stops when she notices someone else working in the lab.
You look up from your work table at the new voice in the room and see the Black Widow staring at you curiously. You have been working at the Avenger’s Compound as the new weapons technician as well as Tony’s lab assistant for the past few months. 
Since then, you’ve met all of the other Avengers already except for the mysterious Black Widow, though you have repaired some of her equipment that she had sent down previously. 
Tony tells you that she prefers to keep to herself, which you can understand. You settled with the fact that you may never meet her in person, so it is a small shock to see her standing in front of you.
Putting down your tools, you wipe your hands on your apron and walk over to her. Extending your hand to her, you give her a polite smile as you introduce yourself.
“Hello, my name is Y/n L/n. I’m the new weapons technician and Mr. Stark’s assistant in the lab. How can I help, Ms. Romanoff?” 
A small surprised smile forms on Natasha’s face at your words. Intrigued to learn more about you, she raises her hand to yours in greeting.
“Hi, you can just call me Nata–.” 
“No, no, no!” A voice yells from down the halls outside of the lab.
Tony comes rushing into the lab, breathing heavily. Looking around frantically, his eyes widen at the two of you. He rushes over to you quickly, grabbing you by the shoulders, and pushing you away from Natasha and out into the hallway. 
“I need you to go get the thing from Pepper,” he tells you.
“What thing?” you ask in confusion as you turn back around to him.
He gives you a brief wave before pressing the button on the side, shutting the lab doors in your face.
For a moment, Tony remains standing by the door, tensed as he purposely avoid looking at Natasha. Then, in the next second, his entire body suddenly relaxes, and he moves casually over to his workstation. 
“FRIDAY, what’s the plan for today?” Tony asks.
“The parts for the new repulsors arrived today, sir,” the AI voice replies.
“Great, get those plans pulled up for me, will you?”
Natasha blinks at the lab doors as she tries to process what just happened. She turns to Tony, looking for an explanation.
“What the hell was that Tony?” she exclaims.
Tony looks at her with his eyebrows raised.
“What was what?”
“You just suddenly pushed Y/n out of the room.”
Tony's mouth presses into a tight line as he gives her a confused look. “Never heard of her. Was there somebody here FRIDAY?”
“No, sir.” 
Tony nods back at her with a satisfied look.
Crossing her arms, Natasha was about to argue when the lab doors opened up again. 
Pepper walks into the room towards Tony.
“Y/n said you told her to get a ‘thing’ from me?”
Tony lets out a groan as he hangs his head. Sighing, he gestures to Natasha.
“Y/n met Natasha.” 
Pepper lets out an exasperated sigh.
“Really, Tony? We talked about this. You can’t place all the blame on her.”
Natasha raises her hands to get their attention. “Can somebody please explain to me what’s going on?”
Pepper turns to her, a small apologetic look on her face.
“Tony thinks you are the reason why his assistants keep quitting.”
Natasha frowns at the accusation. “How is that my fault?”
Tony scoffs in disbelief. “FRIDAY, pull up the timeline.” 
A holographic screen pops up between them showing the past year with certain dates highlighted. Tony points to one of the earliest dates in the year. 
“Avery Grayson. She met you on her second day on the job. A week later she asks you out but you decline. She turns in her resignation the following week.”
Natasha raises her eyebrows at the information.
“That doesn’t prove—“ 
Tony interrupts her, “Quinn Turner. She confesses to you a month after your first interaction. Gets turned down too and then quits three days later.”
Tony brings up the two most recent dates.
“Same thing with Riley and Harper. It’s a pattern. They meet you, fall for you, get rejected, and then quit.”
Natasha looks over at Pepper, silently asking if he was serious. In response, Pepper gives her a resigned nod as she rubs her head tiredly.
Tony gets her attention when he points at her accusingly.
“Do you know how hard it is to find competent people who know how to handle this level of equipment?”
Natasha lets out a huff of disbelief, crossing her arms. She remembers his previous assistants. To be honest, most of her interactions with them were completely professional. She didn’t get close to any of them personally or showed any romantic interest, which made each of the confessions surprising to her. 
Still, this doesn’t explain what he was trying to do with you. She raises her eyebrow at him.
“So your plan was to what? Hide your new assistant from me forever?”
“Not forever. Just until I can find someone for her so that she doesn’t fall for you.”
Natasha rolls her eyes at his ridiculousness. Focusing back on her original intention, she places her widow bite gauntlets on the work table.
“Can you just fix these for me? I have a mission in a few hours.”
“Fine, but you stay away from my assistant,” he warns.
Natasha heads toward the exit and waves her hand, dismissing his words. It’s not like she intends to make you fall for her, but she has to admit that she is interested to learn more about you. 
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
You look up from your sketches at the sound of the lab door opening and see the Black Widow stroll into the room. You give her a smile in greeting.
“Welcome back, Ms. Romanoff. Are you looking for Mr. Stark?”
She walks over to your workspace, leaning slightly against the table as she looks at you.
“Actually, I was coming to see you, and you can just call me Natasha. We got interrupted the last time we met.”
Nodding your head, you laugh softly at the memory.
“Pepper explained to me what that was about.” You give her a teasing suspicious look. “So are you here to make me fall for you?”
Natasha gives you an amused smile. Most people don’t usually get comfortable around her so quickly. 
“Only if you want to,” she says nonchalantly.
You chuckle at her response.
“Unfortunately, you won’t be hearing a confession from me soon. I like my job here.” 
Natasha feels a tinge of disappointment at your words, her smile dropping slightly. You don’t notice though since your attention had drifted to the widow bite gauntlets on her wrists.
“Speaking of, did you want me to take a look at that?” You can see that there was some damage from a fight probably during her recent mission.
Glancing down, Natasha shrugs. “I can do it later myself.”
“Well, that explains why I don’t see your stuff across my desk that often.” You raise your hand out to her anyway.
She stares at you curiously before slowly placing her hand in yours.
You let out a small laugh at her action. “This is nice, but I actually want the gauntlets.” You hold her hand gently in yours before turning it around to reach the clasp on the weapon.
Natasha tilts her head as she observes you. You were focused but gentle as you worked, and you didn’t show any signs that you were intimidated by who she was. In fact, you were pretty cute as you scrunch your face in concentration. She decides to tease you a little.
“You know, I don’t usually let people take things off my body until at least the second date.”
You remove the second gauntlet from her other wrist with a start before you see the teasing smirk on her face. You let out a small huff before refocusing your attention on your table.
“I see what Mr. Stark means when he said you were charming.”
Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Oh? And what else did he tell you about me?”
“That you didn’t like meeting new people, though now I think that may have been a lie.”
Natasha shrugs before leaning in a little closer to you.
“It’s sort of true. I just prefer to meet people that I’m interested in.”
You turn away from her to hide the smile on your face, pretending to look for some tools. 
The lab doors slide open as Tony walks in while reading the tablet in his hand. Looking up, he sighs sadly when he sees Natasha next to you.
“Did she get to you already?”
You give him a reassuring look. “No confessions from me. Natasha just needed some things fixed.”
Tony stares at the two of you doubtfully before pointing to Natasha.
“Don’t you have reports to do or something?”
Rolling her eyes, Natasha stands to leave. She turns to you with a soft smile.
“I’ll come visit more often now that I know you exist.”
You bite your lips to hide your smile as you watch her leave. 
As Natasha exits the lab, she hears Tony’s voice call out.
“FRIDAY, can you restrict her access to the lab?”
“I’m afraid Ms. Potts has already denied that request, sir.”
Natasha smirks at the AI response. She should get something for Pepper later as thanks.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
As she said, over the following weeks, Natasha visits you often in the lab. Sometimes with some equipment that needed to be fixed. Other times just to talk. Later, when she finds out that you usually eat your lunch in the lab, she would also join you if she had the time. 
You look up when you hear the doors open, already knowing who to expect. Natasha walks in, waving the take-out bag in her hands.
You groan in relief at the sight of her. “You are a lifesaver.” 
You stand and grab the food from her eagerly before moving it to an area where the two of you can eat.
Natasha sits on the edge of your work table as she watches you set out the food.
“Well, I know how you get absorbed into your work and forget to eat,” she tells you knowingly.
Her eyes glance at the papers on your desk that you were previously working on. Most of them had rough sketches of designs for some of the equipment of the other Avengers. Her name on one paper catches her attention. Picking it up, Natasha examines the details curiously. 
At the sudden silence, you glance up at her. You do a double take when you realize what she was looking at.
Over time, as you worked on her equipment, you’ve noticed that her current suit’s belt doesn’t hold much ammo or gadgets, so you had sketched some ideas that you had for her.
“That’s just some ideas of some upgrades that I had. It’s not really anything worth looking at.” 
Natasha shakes her head in disagreement before handing the paper back to you.
“I like it. I’m sure Tony will get you the parts that you would need if you want to work on it.”
“Really?” you ask her, astonished.
She nods at you reassuringly before pushing you back towards the food.
“We can discuss it later, but first, let’s eat.”
A few weeks later, you completed your first prototype, and you were excited to show Natasha and test it out.
Natasha admires the new belt on the table. It was still slim and compact, but she can see where you had added extra slots for her weapons. You also included her signature red symbol on the buckle.
You were practically buzzing with excitement.
“I just need to see if there needs to be any more adjustments with the sizing.”
Without thinking, you grab her hand to pull her closer to you. You move quickly as you remove her current belt. Taking the new belt, your hands wrap around her waist as you grab one end before bringing it to her front and snapping it into place. You fidget with the belt, checking for any snags or looseness, totally absorbed in your work. 
Natasha’s initial surprised expression melts into an amused and fond look on her face as she watches you. You were adorable when you concentrated on your work, and honestly, she’s not sure how much longer she can hold in her feelings for you.
After performing your final checks and detailing little changes that needed to be adjusted, you suddenly froze when you realized Natasha hadn’t said a word since you started. 
Your eyes widened, mortified when you see your current position. Your body had moved closer to Natasha’s when you were making adjustments. One of your hands was still placed atop the belt while the other was resting against her stomach, and you could feel her toned body underneath your hand. You swallow nervously as you look up at her.
She tilts her head at you as you continue to stare at her.
“Everything okay?”
The closeness between your bodies was making it hard for you to think. Eventually, you were able to get your brain to function enough to respond.
“Yeah…all good.” You unconsciously lick your lips out of embarrassment.
You see Natasha's eyes flick down to your mouth at the action, and you feel your face heat up even more. You should definitely step away from her now. As you go to move, Natasha’s next words causes you to stop in surprise.
“Would you like to go out with me?”
Your eyes widen at her question, and you see a hopeful expression on her face as she waits for your response. Instinctively, you want to say ‘yes’ and close the distance between you two, but you stop yourself, hesistating. 
Natasha sees the conflicting feelings on your face, so she decides to ease the pressure a little with some teasing. 
“You know, according to Tony’s theory, since I’m the one who confessed, a rejection would mean that I would need to quit my job.”
You can't help but laugh at her reasoning before giving her a playful smile, teasing back. 
“Well, we can’t have the Black Widow quitting over a failed confession.”
Natasha places her hands on your waist, pulling you in closer. She tilts her head at you in question.
“I haven’t failed yet. Technically, you never gave me an answer.”
You move your arms to wrap around the back of her neck as you pretend to think about your decision.
“So I still get to keep my job?”
Natasha nods reassuringly. “For however long you can stand working with Tony’s ego.”
You give her a fond smile.
“Then yes, I would love to go out with you.”
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Tony was throwing you a party to celebrate your first anniversary since working with the Avengers and him, even though you insisted that it wasn’t necessary. He disagrees, saying how nobody has lasted this long, so you relented.
Naturally, you went with Natasha as your date since you have been dating her for several months already. The only problem is that you forgot to update Tony about your new relationship.
When the two of you enter the party, Natasha leans down and whispers next to your ear, “I’ll go get us something to drink.”
With a light touch against your back, she walks away toward the bar. 
You are lost in your thoughts as you admire her walk away, so you are startled when Tony slides in front of you, excitement in his eyes.
“Y/n! Good, I found you.”
You smile at him, used to his frantic energy by now.
“Hello, Mr. Stark, was there something that you needed?”
He waves his hand dismissively at you.
“This party is for you, and you’ve been working with me for a year now. I’ve told you to just call me Tony.” 
You give him an apologetic look before asking him curiously.
“You said you were looking for me?”
Tony claps his hands at the reminder.
“Yes, I want you to meet someone. She’s a nice person, has a great personality, and she works as a pilot.”
You raise your hand to try and stop him. “I already have some—“
“Oh, here she is!”
You give him a tight smile as the woman approaches the two of you. Tony pats you on the back in encouragement, turning to leave.
“Alright, I’ll leave the two of you alone.”
“Wait, Tony—,“ you try to stop him, but he rushes away. Turning back to the woman, you give her a polite smile as she introduces herself.
Meanwhile, Natasha was standing at the bar, waiting for your drinks.
“I am the greatest boss ever,” Tony exclaims, sliding in next to her.
Natasha rolls her eyes at his words. Deciding to indulge him while she waits, she asks him to explain.
“How’s that?”
“I just found the perfect date for our favorite weapons techie.”
Natasha frowns when she realizes what he said. Turning around to look at where she left you, she sees that you were currently talking with a beautiful woman. 
Her posture relaxes when she reads your body language. You had a polite smile on your face as you listened to the woman, but she could see how tense your body was, and your hand at your side kept fidgeting with your dress. 
“Now I don’t have to worry about her falling for you,” Tony says smugly.
“No, we wouldn’t want that,” Natasha smirks as she turns back around to grab the drinks that the bartender just placed in front of her. 
Tony notices the two drinks in her hands and raises his eyebrows at her.
“You have a date?”
“Girlfriend.”
Without explaining further, she heads back toward you. By the time Natasha reaches you, the other woman was already turning to leave, nodding at Natasha in acknowledgment. 
You let out a breath of relief as Natasha comes back to your side. Thankfully, the woman was understanding when you explained the situation to her. 
Natasha hands you your drink as she returns her hand around your waist, pulling you against her. She sighs in disappointment as she watches the woman leave.
“Here I thought I had the chance to be a hero and save you.”
You give her a teasing smile. “Maybe next time.” 
Natasha presses a soft kiss to your lips in response before pulling away.
You tilt your head curiously at her. “What was that for?”
Natasha gives you an affectionate look.
“First, because I love you.” 
Her expression shifts into a smirk.
“Second, is Tony freaking out?”
You look over her shoulders at the bar and see Tony gaping at the two of you, pointing accusingly at Natasha while Pepper holds him back from rushing over.
You turn back to her, giving her an amused look.
“He’s going to lock you out again.”
Natasha just shrugs, unbothered. “He can’t keep me away from you.” She raises her eyebrows suggestively at you. “He also can’t stop you from visiting me in my room during your breaks.”
You push her lightly before bringing her face close for a kiss.
When you accepted this job, you never thought you would end up in a relationship with the Black Widow. Then again you never imagine that she would end up falling for you.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
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vivwritesfics · 4 months
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Hooked On A Feeling
Chapter One - Olivia Ricciardo
Daniel is a Formula One driver, but, more importantly, he was a single dad to a wonderful little girl. He wants her to be a normal little girl, to have a normal social life, so he sends her to daycare. That was where she met Milo, her future best friend.
Milo's mother was incredibly stressed. She worked so hard to provide a good life for her son. But then he makes a new friend, a friend who has a hot dad (ofc they fall in love)
1.6K
Single Dad!Daniel x Single Mum!Reader
Series Masterlist
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Olivia Ricciardo came running out of daycare with a wide grin on her face. Her grandparents just wished her dad could have been there to see it as she ran into their arms. It wasn’t his fault; even once his little girl was born, he still had a job to do.
Daniel was there for half of the week at least. But for the rest of the week, his parents took care of her, feeding her, letting her sleep in the bedroom she had in their house, and transporting her to and from daycare. Every time her dad would leave, Olivia would scream and cry for at least a couple of hours. At least until her grandparents had her facetiming her father and Daniel could talk to his little girl.
This time, when Olivia came running out to her grandparents car, she immediately asked if she could call her daddy. “I wanna tell him about the new friend I made!” she said through a wide grin as she bounced in her seat.
As her grandma drove, her grandpa pulled out his phone, calling Daniel. He kept a hold of the phone until his son picked up. After saying hello to him, he passed the phone back to Olivia. “Hi daddy!” She called, but Daniel could hardly see her from how much she was moving the phone around.
“Hi, Livvy!” Daniel grinned at his daughter. He’d missed her so much this week. His short break the year before, before he had been placed in the AlphaTauri, he’d spent the entire time with Olivia. He’d only gone to the races on the weekends, and since Olivia only went to daycare on Tuesday to Friday, she went with him.
But now that Daniel was driving again, he left Olivia with his parents. He didn’t want to take her out of daycare to be at his races; that was how she socialized. And this was proof of that.
“Daddy, I made a new friend!” Olivia shouted.
Daniel couldn’t stop his grin from becoming wider at that. “That’s great news Livvy!” He shouted, telling the news to whoever was near him.  
Suddenly the phone moved away from her dad. Olivia watched as somebody else grabbed hold of the phone, holding it in front of his face. “Hi, Livia!” Said her Uncle Max as he held the phone up in front of his face. As usual, he wore his Redbull hat. This one had a number One on it. Olivia had several Redbull hats. She had several with her dad’s number and one of Max’s old ones, with the thirty-three on it. “Your dad tells me you made a new friend!”
“Yeah, uncle Max. His name is Milo and he shared his crayons with me so that I could do my colouring book.”
"That's great, Livia!" Max said.
He said his goodbyes and passed the phone back to Daniel, who was only too happy to be talking to his daughter again. "Maybe you could invite Milo round for a playdate when you're back from your mums house, Jelly Bean," he said and the smile dropped from Olivias face.
It was so secret who Olivias favourite parents was. Even though she rarely got to see him, she loved her dad more than anything. Daniel didn't know what happened at his ex's place in what made Olivia hate it so much, but he had no right to stop it.
If he tried, his ex could easily pull up the fact that Daniel was never there and his parents saw Olivia more than he did. If Olivia would tell him why she hated it, maybe he could do something that would stop her from having to spend every other week with her mother.
"But, daddy, I want to be there when you get home," Olivia said, wearing a pout.
Daniel hated seeing his little girl like that. He loved her more than anything and never wanted to see the smile drop from her face. His Olivia, he'd go to the ends of the earth for her.
The people surrounding him indicated that it was time to go, but Daniel kept smiling as he looked at the phone. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay, Jelly Bean?"
"Okay," she said and passed the phone back to her grandfather without saying goodbye.
Daniel smile turned sad as he looked at his father. "Make sure she has snuffles before she goes," he said sadly before saying goodbye to his parents. They knew what to do by now, they'd been sending her to her mother’s house for the last five years.
“What’re we having for dinner tonight, Livvy?” Her grandma asked as they pulled into the driveway.
The scowl dropped from Oliva’s face and she started bouncing in her seat, chanting ‘turkey dinosaurs!’ over and over again.
Turkey dinosaurs it was.
***
“Milo, honey, can you feed the cat please!” Y/N shouted, pulling the phone away from her ear as she turned back to the stove.
Milo came running down the stairs, already in his dinosaur pyjamas and dinosaur slippers. He ran to the front door, where the cat bowl was, and used the tiny, novelty shovel to scoop the cat food into the bowl. It was a little too much, but Poppy (the cat) wouldn’t mind.
“Wash your hands for dinner!” She shouted and placed the phone back between her shoulder and her ear.
“Mum, I don’t need your money,” she said as she plated up the Italian dish she had made. Well, it was spaghetti with carbonara, with turkey dinosaurs on the side to get Milo to eat it.
She heard her mother sigh down the phone. “Well, if you won’t take our money, your father and I are going to visit,” she said and hung up, without saying so much as a goodbye.
Placing her phone down, Y/N put the plates on the table and waited for Milo to come running in. He jumped into his chair and picked up his knives and fork. “I made a new friend today, momma!” Called Milo as he put down his knife and fork and picked up the turkey tyrannosaurus. He bit the head off and roared with the food still in his mouth, leading his mother to scold him.
“Tell me about your new friend, Mi,” she said as she ate her own dinner (like Milo, Y/N had a turkey dinosaur on her plate. It was the triceratops, Milo’s least favourite).
So, Milo told his mother all about his new friend, Olivia Ricciardo. He boasted about how he shared his pencils and Miss Green didn’t even have to ask him. Olivia sat beside him as they coloured, telling him all about her dad who drove race cars.
“Yeah, momma! Her dad is a famous race car driver! How cool is that?”
“Very cool, Milo,” Y/N answered as she picked up his plate to clear up. Of course, she didn’t believe that Milo’s new friend’s father was a famous race car driver. That was the sort of things kids said to impress each other. Just six months before Milo had told some boys that his father was a famous football player.
Milo stayed sat at the kitchen table, kicking his feet. “I can’t wait for daycare,” he said to himself as he knocked his fist against the table in time to the music.
Y/N couldn’t stop herself from grinning as Milo continued talking about daycare. It hadn’t had an easy time making friends, but now he had one and she couldn’t be happier.
As soon as she was finished with the washing up, Y/N ruffled his hair with her soapy hands. “Bedtime, little man,” she said, and Milo jumped out of his chair and ran up the stairs.
He ran into his bedroom and dove under the covers. He grabbed a hold of Rexy, his tyrannosaurus teddy bear, and Spike, his Stegosaurus teddy bear, and held them close. He watched as his mum walked in and pulled a book from his shelf. “How do we feel about the magician’s nephew?” She asked as she pulled the little book from the shelf.
“Yay, Narnia!” Milo called as Y/N sat on the end of the bed and cracked open the book. Just a few months ago Milo had been complaining about picture books, since one of the boys in his class had started reading actual books. So, Y/N was working with him so that he could read ordinary books on his own.
“Momma,” Milo began, interrupting her as she read. “Can Olivia come round for a playdate?”
Y/N placed a dinosaur bookmark between the pages. “Only if Olivia’s mummy and daddy say it’s okay,” she said as she put the book back and switched on his dinosaur night light.
“Olivia doesn’t like her mummy,” Milo replied as she turned on his side, still holding Spike and Rexy.
Y/N walked over and kissed the top of his head as she tucked him in. “Well, I’ll just have to speak to her daddy then, won’t I,” she said and stood up straight. “Goodnight, Munchkin,” she said as Milo turned towards the wall, his eyes shut.
“Goodnight, momma.”
Y/N walked out of the room, leaving the door open just a little. As she left Poppy the cat ran in and jumped on his bed (a dinosaur blanket, of course), curling up by his feet.
With Milo now asleep, Y/N went back downstairs. She sat at the kitchen table, pulled out her laptop and, like she did every night, began writing.
Taglist (OPEN): @biancathecool @rewmuslupin @prettiest-at-the-party @hellowgoodbye
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outsideratheart · 29 days
Text
Healing (Alexia Putellas x reader)
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A/N: This took me a lot longer to finish than I hoped but it’s done. Grab a drink and get comfy because it’s a long one, in fact I think it’s my longest fic to date.
The world had its questions and you were well aware of the headlines.
Y/N Y/L/N quits football.
Where is Y/N Y/L/N? Here's what we know.
The best in the world has vanished.
If you find Y/N tell her Sarina is looking for her.
The last twelve months had been the hardest in your life. You thought you could prepare for it, that it would easier because you knew it was coming but that wasn't the case. The day it happened was the day your heart broke and as you buried her you knew you were burying part of yourself too.
You left the world speculating as to why you didn't extend your contract with Lyon, why you never signed for another club and more importantly people were wondering where you had disappeared to.
Both your club and country team mates knew about your personal life and the tragedy that happened shortly after the euros. 
You missed football, of course you did, but you also needed to take time away to process what had happened. A return date was never set but then the world cup happened. You watched your team mates cry after losing to Spain and you couldn't help but feel partially responsible. The game might have ended differently if you had played.
A decision had been made. It was time to return to the pitch. You had offers before and after the euros. The only question is what teams would still want you? 
The sun was setting in Barcelona as the team finished up a late training session. Most of the players stayed behind to take advantage of the free food given they knew once they got home they wouldn't have the energy to cook themselves.
“Lucy your phone is ringing” Ona shouts over to where the English defender is filling her plate. 
“Who is it?” Lucy replies. 
Ona’s face floods with guilt. Almost as if she shouldn’t be looking at the phone. This sparks interest of those around her but no one more than Keira who sees the name on the screen. 
“Y/N” Lucy all but ran back to table after hearing Keira say your name “is everything ok? Where are you? Yes I’m with Lucy. Before I hand you over promise me that you’re ok? Good” 
Keira hands over the phone and watches Lucy’s face as she tries to figure out why you called and what you are talking about. 
“Yes there are people around me. Ok, I’ll ask” 
When you hang up the phone Lucy does as you ask or at least she makes the first step. 
“Alexia” Lucy walks around to where the captain is sat with Mapi and Ingrid “Who would I talk about signing a new player?”
“It’s not our job to recruit players but if you know something that might help the club then tell me and I will ask” Alexia wasn’t stupid. She heard your name and now Lucy was asking this. It wasn’t a coincidence. 
“I can’t. This is a sensitive subject” 
“Vale. Talk to Jona and if he thinks the player is right for the club then he can set up a meeting” 
Alexia left the training facility that night thinking of you. You were at the peak of your career, many people considered you the best in the world and if she is being honest she thought you would win the Balon d’Or, not her. That night Alexia watched your highlights for hours, even the ones in the games against her. You really were a once in a generation player which makes it that much harder for Alexia to understand why you walked off the pitch at Wembley and hadn’t been seen on one since. 
The next day at training the energy felt different. Lucy and Keira had a sense of happiness that their team mates hadn’t seen before. They would gather around Lucy’s phone but then hide it when somebody came close to them. 
Jona came walking into the gym with Xavi Puig right behind him and called over both Keira and Lucy. A couple of players watch the conversation unfold and tried their hardest to read their lips.
“Ingrid, what are they saying?” Mapi nudges her girlfriend.
“They’re talking about Y/N Y/L/N” Alexia was stretching on the floor playing no part in the eavesdropping.
“How do you know?” Ingrid asks her.
“She called Lucy yesterday and then Lucy talked to me about the club signing a new player. I can’t know for sure but that’s what I think is going on”
A couple of days later you landed in Barcelona, greeted by the warm weather and your two England team mates who kept a low key appearance in the arrivals hall. You stop when you are a meter away them. You didn’t know what to do, you hadn’t seen them in almost a year. 
“Come here” Lucy throws her arms around you followed by Keira.
“We’re so happy to see you Y/N. We really have missed you” 
You remain quiet as you walk to the car. Both of them fill you in on what the team is like and you make sure to remind them that you haven’t officially signed yet.
“Jona mentioned that. You want a trial training session?”
“It’s the right thing to do” you didn’t want any special treatment. You wanted to earn the right to play for the club and not just be handed the contract.
“You could have not played football for 5 years and still run rings round all of us” Lucy knows you the most having played with her at both club and country. You were too humble in her eyes so she took it upon herself to remind you of your greatness from time to time.
“I never said I haven’t played football. That has been the thing to get me through the past 10 months” you didn’t mean to be a downer, in fact you didn’t know what you were saying until it was too late.
“How are you doing?” Keira asks from the front seat and you see Lucy eyeing you up in rear view mirror.
“Some days are harder than others and no day has been easy. She would be happy that I’m here though. She always said that if I didn’t go back to England then she’d want us to come here”
You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name. 
“She always did hate the french winters” Lucy laughs at the memories she shared with your wife.
Your mind goes back to just a couple of years ago. Lyon were playing at home and the weather was awful. You saw Natalia in the crowd shivering but still she cheered you on, she always was your biggest fan. Come rain or shine, your girl was in the audience. You hated the thought of playing without her being in the crowd but you also knew she wouldn’t want to give up your career.
“Y/N” Keira gently nudged your knee. It was obvious that you were taking a trip down memory lane and she didn’t want to scare you.
“Huh” you quickly wiped away a tear “Oh we’re here” you grabbed your backpack and jumped out of the car leaving them in the front not knowing what to do.
“Let’s leave her be. She knows we are here and will come to us when she’s ready”
You were in awe as you walked the halls of Joan Camper. The things the team has achieved were that of greatness. It was a club that created legacys and you found yourself feeling something that you hadn’t in a long time; excitement.
Lucy and Keira lead you to the locker room just as they were instructed to. The rest of the team were already out of the field which was part of the plan. There hanging in a corner locker was a training kit for you. You didn’t expect it and you definitely didn’t expect to have been given your number.
“You did this?” You ask the pair.
“Salma did. The team knows you called Lucy and when Salma heard to locker room rumours of you joining she insisted. Between us she is a big fan of yours, bigger than Luce”
“Not possible” the defender joked.
The boots were fastened and you were ready, well almost ready. There was one thing you wasn’t prepared for. You looked down at your necklace. It was a simple gold chain that held two rings: yours and Talia’s.
“I can’t do it” you slumped down in defeat and bury your face in your hands.
“Hey” Lucy crouches down in front of you “they let us wear jewellery for training, you can keep them on”
You walked out onto the field and all eyes fell on you. You felt like a spectacle and you hated the attention. They didn’t know the current version of you, they had only met the old Y/N so you channel her and introduce yourself to them during the next drinks break.
“I know some of us have met as opponents but this is different. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, I hope I can keep up” you make a joke hoping to avoid the elephant in the room.
“We’ll see about that. I’m Alexia” She is the first person to you.
“Lovely to meet you Alexia” 
It’s hard to explain the feeling when you’re playing football. It’s as if you mind switches off whilst also been completely focused. It take a few attempts to get into the rhythm that is Barcelona football but you catch on quickly. It comes as no shock to the rest of the team that you play in complete sync with Lucy and Keira. The two of them even stay back at the end to work with you on some movements that you weren’t pleased with.
Some players go shower but a few stay behind, albeit out of sight, and watch you. 
“She has a gift” Alexia says to nobody in particular.
“Nobody has seen her in over a year and this is how she is playing. Look, she is running rings around them. How is that possible?” Patri adds.
“Does anybody know where she was?” Pina asks the small group.
“No but I could ask Ingrid or Caro to ask Ada. They are best friends and surely you would tell your best friend where you are going” Mapi forms a plan in her head, one that she will soon find out to be a bad idea.
“Do it” Alexia tells the defender “We are a family here and if she joins us then we have a right to know where she has been”
When Barcelona posted a photo of you signing a contract on their socials the world went crazy. The media were relentless and the fans were quick to show their support for you even though some were skeptical about your sudden reappearance and new team. 
You ignored them for the most part as they had no idea what had happened. You fit into the team almost right away and was enjoying every game with Barcelona. You scored on your debut and had been involved in a goal every game since. Months had passed and much to your surprise you had only been asked about the missing year once or twice. 
Caro refused to ask Ada about you and Ingrid only did when her girlfriend became obsessed with finding out the truth. Ada’s answer was simple ‘I won’t tell you and if she doesn’t want you to know then you should respect her wishes’.
You remained a mystery though and for the most part the team seemed to forget about your missing year. 
When the second international window came that is when things changed and you felt like you made a friend. Mapi still wasn’t representing her country so she reached out and asked if you wanted to meet up for a coffee. 
Anybody could easily be intimidated by the blonde but you liked her. She had this energy that made you know accepting her invite was a no brainer. That and you had questions of your own. 
“How did you know?”
Mapi places down a a small coffee in a glass; a cortado. 
“I asked Keira what you ordered”
A comfortable silence took over as the two of you sipped on your coffees. You found it funny the way Mapi looked at you then her coffee and back to you again. You recognised the signs; you were making her nervous. Why though you had no idea.
You decide to make the first move and you get straight to the point much to the defender’s surprise.
“I spoke with Ada”
This got her attention. You had your suspicions but the look on her face confirmed it. Still, she played along.
“That’s nice. You’re very close, no?” Mapi tried her best to look innocent but you weren’t having any of it and the look on your face told her that.
“She had an interesting conversation with Ingrid. Do you happen to know anything about this?”
She did. You know she did. 
“No” you got a sheepish look from Mapi and you wondered if she knew how unconvincing she was being.
“I think you did. I think you got Ingrid to ask Ada about me”
“Lo siento”
“Here’s the thing I don’t understand. I know you all want to know, you’ve been whispering about me for months yet not one of you has come to me and asked me directly. You have been going behind my back trying to dig up information about a time that I clearly don’t want to talk about”
Mapi dips her head. She truly thought that her and the team were been careful but obviously not. 
“Maria, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Would you want to talk about it with strangers when you barely talk to your best friends about it?”
The defender thinks about it for a moment. You had barely left Lucy and Keira’s side but she hadn’t really heard you talking, you were always listening to what they were saying and replying when necessary.
“It was bad wasn’t it?” She asks. 
“The worse year of my life” you confess and you can your throat close at the thought of the months in question.
“We are in jail?” 
You cannot help but chuckle at her words.
“No, I was not in jail”
“Did you kill somebody?”
“No, I did not kill anybody”
“So no crimes were committed?”
“Is that what you have all come up with? That I broke the law?” 
“Most of us, yes. Aitana think’s you were in the hospital because you were sick”
Her response came at the worst time possible. You spit your coffee out when you hear the midfielder’s suspicion. 
Technically she was right. You were in the hospital but you weren’t in the hospital.
“I wasn’t sick” 
“Clearly. Look at you, you’re huge. I mean you are big. No, you are strong”
“Calm down Mapi, I know what you mean. Thank you” 
The two of you stay in the cafe for another hour. You take this time just the two of you getting to know one another. You ask Mapi about her tattoos and she learn’s you have a few of your own which are hidden on your back. When she asks for their meaning you promise you will tell her the stories another time. 
You both walk to the metro station and by coincidence you end up of the same train. You get off before her and just before the door opens, Mapi grabs your hand.
“I’ll get them to stop. You don’t owe us an explanation, Y/N” 
“Thank you Maria” 
You’re not sure what the tattooed defender said but the whispers stopped or so you thought. They stopped whispering in front of you but little did you know the speculations were still going on behind your back. It is early in December when things come to a head and you snapped. 
“What do you mean she is staying Spain?” Alexia asked Salma. 
“That she is staying her in Barcelona. She said she might go to Valencia for a few days but that’s it” the forward wasn’t sure what to say or if she should have said anything at all.
“And you don’t think that is strange? This is woman who used to love England. The fans called her Queen of England, por dios. How can she be apart of this team if we know nothing about her. She is lying to us” Alexia ranted on and who knew how much longer she would have continued if not for Lucy interrupting her.
“Alexia, that is enough!” Lucy slams her fist on the locker before turning to her captain “She has come to this team and done nothing but good. She plays well for us and gives it her all on the pitch. Off it she makes the effort and yes sometimes she says no to things but isn’t that her right? You stand there as our captain but look at you, you’re nothing but a bully. I am ashamed to say i’m your team mate right now. That girl has been through hell these past couple of years and since coming here all you keep doing is reminding her of what has happened. You are obsessed with her. Look around, no one else is digging for information. No one is making her uncomfortable on a daily basis”
“She is lying to us. She won’t tell us where she was for over a year. She is hiding something and that isn’t fair on us” Alexia tried to defend her actions.
“Isn’t fair? Are you really that self centred? You have no right to talk about what is and is not fair. I don’t care if you are my captain, I won’t stand by you while you treat my best friend like she has done something wrong. You, Alexia, are a —“
“Lucy” The whole locker room turns upon hearing your voice “I have given up on Alexia, it’s time you do too”
“No! I won’t let her talk about you that way. You don’t deserve this”
“No I don’t but —“
“Y/N” Lucy begs you to let her fight you case.
“Walk away Lucy” 
A stare down takes place between you and Lucy. A few seconds later the defender grabs her stuff and leaves the room. To everyone else you are calm and collected but Keira recognises the look in your eye, you are furious.
“I want everyone to listen to me and listen good. My past is none of your business. To those who have let the obsession go, thank you. To those that haven’t” you look Alexia dead in the eye “I want nothing to do with you. I will remain civil on the pitch. Other than that I ask you to stay away from me. That’s if you can respect my wishes. I know it has been hard so far”
You quietly gather your things and try to ignore the multiple sets of eyes on you. With each second you can feel your chest getting tighter and you know it is only a matter second before you will no longer be able to control your breathing. You just needed to get out of there, away from prying eyes.
The hallway is the furthest you get. Your mind was filled of flashbacks, the moments that you tried so hard to bury. The past was not a pretty place, not the last year, but you know that it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down on you. 
“Y/N, are you ok?” Mapi and Ingrid are by your side, clearly the couple had left just after you.
“Natalia, she, she” 
Ingrid and Mapi shared a look, who was Natalia? They had never heard you mention a Natalia before. Both of them didn’t know what to do. Whilst you had become friends with the pair, they didn’t know you well enough to cope with this moment. 
Luckily for them Keira appears out of nowhere. The English woman clearly equipped with what to do.
“Get Lucy, now!” She whisper shouted and Ingrid goes running hoping to catch the defender before she leaves.
“Keira—Natalia”
“I know, I know. We can talk about her later if you want. Right now, I need to focus on me. Can you do that?” 
You nod your head as tears flow down your cheeks. 
“What happened?” Lucy rushes over to you.
“We found her on the floor. She kept talking about Natalia” 
“She told you?” Lucy asks shocked. She knew you wasn’t ready to tell them team but in a state of panic you might be let it slip.
“No. She only said her name” Mapi says. She couldn’t take her eyes off you. This wasn’t a panic attack, no she had seen one of those before. This was something much more intense.
A few minutes pass and Keira manages to keep your breathing under control but you’re still not ready to move. Lucy, Mapi and Ingrid stay close making sure to tell anyone who passes to keep moving.
“What is going on?” Alexia asks with concern, a concern that doesn’t reach Lucy in fact her asking is the worst thing she could have done.
“Get away from her” Lucy is up on her feet and pushing Alexia backwards. She would has fallen to the floor if not for the wall behind her “This is all your fault. You see this, you see her, this is what you have done to her”
“Lucy” you reach up and take her hand. The defender used her strength to pull you up. 
You, Lucy, Keira, Mapi and Ingrid walk towards the exit of the stadium.
“Y/N” Alexia’s voice is soft and it is only now that she realises she might have taken things too far.
You turn around to face the Catalonian. For the first time since arriving you make no effort to hide the pain you have felt on a daily basis.
“I want nothing to do with you Alexia”
A week had passed and Alexia started to worry about you more so than she wanted to let on. Lucy and Keira were visibly worried about you and kept an eye on you at all times. She was confused at how things got this bad. Yes, she knew that maybe things had been taken too far but you didn’t show rage, your energy radiated nothing. You were numb. The Barcelona captain had no idea how to make things right with you.
You wore a smile on your face in front of the cameras and fans but behind closed doors it’s liked you switched your emotions off. Alexia asked Mapi about you but it seemed that even her closest friend was on your side. The zaragozian and her girlfriend had become close with you since the incident and Alexia didn’t understand why.
One night she found herself knocking on Mapi’s door hoping to find out how things got so bad.
When the captain was let in there is an evident scowl on Ingrid’s face which Alexia did not expect. The Norwegian excuses herself stating that she needed to go to the supermarket.
“Mentiroso” Alexia says to herself.
“Watch it Alexia. She has her reasons” Mapi jumped to her girlfriend’s defence.
Mapi leads Alexia over to the kitchen table and gets a glass of water for the two of them.
“You’re here about Y/N, aren’t you?” her captain nods “I don’t know what to tell you. What happened in the locker room was bad Ale. We didn’t leave the stadium when you thought we did. Y/N used everything in her to make sure Lucy didn’t do something she would regret. I don’t know what happened during those months but whatever we think it is, it’s so much worse. I shouldn’t be telling you this but she kept mentioning Natalia, I don’t know who that is but I think something happened to her”
Alexia thought she felt guilty about the way things went down with the two of you but that failed in comparison to how she was feeling now. To think that you were grieving someone and her questions were it worse for you, well it made her feel ashamed. 
She knew that she hadn’t been the most welcoming. Yes, you and her got a long on the pitch and yes, you were ok at training but she hadn’t made the effort she should have to make you feel at home in Barcelona.
“I don’t know how to fix it Mapi. You know I like her, I think she is amazing—“
“You were her biggest fan” the blonde teased
“But what if I’ve ruined any chance for being friends with her? What if what I’ve done is undoable?” Alexia ignores Mapi comment seen as though she knows she cannot deny it.
Mapi was at a loss for words. She always has had her friend’s back but there was something about you which made her want to protect you and Alexia was someone that you needed protection from.
“You need to give her space Alexia. This week alone I have seen you walk towards her then walk away at least 6 times. Y/N even asked me why you were doing it. You’re making the girl feel uncomfortable” 
Alexia mentally scolded herself for her behaviour which in her defence she did not think anyone noticed. 
“So space?” Alexia asks.
“Space” Mapi confirmed.
Alexia found it hard at first because she wanted nothing more than to make things right with you but she did as suggested, she gave you space. She saw you start to come out of your shell a bit more as December rolled on. The day game before the Christmas break you were playing in Madrid and that is when Alexia heard you discussing your winter plans with Keira.
“Keira, that’s a sweet offer but I’m sure. I’m going to stay in Barcelona, it is my home now”
The Catalonian took a little comfort in knowing you had grown the love her city despite the hostile behaviour.
“Y/N, it’s Christmas. She would want you to be home for that” your friend asked.
“I don’t know if I can handle going back for Christmas. It would hurt too much”
It felt wrong for Alexia to eavesdrop on your conversation so she leaves out of respect.
“She wouldn’t want you to avoid England. The two of you spent years in France and both of you said coming home to England was your favourite thing to do”
“Keira, stop. It was our favourite thing. There is no more our, no us. It’s just me”
Keira could see your hands shaking. This is the first sign of your panic attack so she drops the subject. She does suggest you going away with them for new years and you said you would as long as it isn’t in the UK or France. 
The team had one last recovery session before the winter break and it’s safe to say when it was done everyone was more than happy to go home. You wished everyone a Merry Christmas and without knowing it, Alexia is included.
“Feliz Navidad Alexia, por tu y tu familia” 
“Gracias Y/N” 
To Alexia this was a gift in itself. Maybe you were opening up to idea of forgiving her. After that you quickly grab your stuff and run off to where Ingrid was waiting for you.
After that interaction, Alexia couldn’t stop thinking about you. She also thought she was hallucinating when she saw your name appear on her phone screen. In the rush of leaving the training facility you picked up the wrong bag, only realising when got home a few hours later and your shirt had an 11 on instead of a 7. You texted Alexia asking if you could meet up to get your stuff back. Alexia, at that point was already at her mother’s house so she sent you that address and told her mum that you were coming over.
You tried to ease your nervous as you drove to your captain’s mother’s house. It was going to be awkward, this much you knew but regardless of the place you and Alexia were in, you wanted to make a good impression on her family. 
The knock was gentle as you stop on the door step.
“Y/N, hola. Adelante”
You didn’t know that word meant but you put two and two together and guessing in meant come in so that is what you did. Eli leads you to the living room after telling Alba to go get her sister. Eli headed back into the kitchen and left you in the living room. You didn’t want to take a seat, it wasn’t that kind of visit so you looked around and a wall of photos gains your attention.
Alexia couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. She was adorable. Next to her stood her younger sister and behind her, her parents. You didn’t recognise the man so you assume Alexia’s father works away a lot as you have never seen him at a game.
“That’s Jaume, Alexia and Alba’s father” Your cheeks flush in embarrassment at being caught stooping.
“And your husband” you turn to face the woman “I haven’t seen him around, does he work in a different city?”
“Jaume passed away a little over ten years ago” 
She is a widow, like you. That is the first thing you thought. In that moment you had so many questions for her but this is a woman you had only just met. It’s not exactly the small talk she would be expecting. The two of you go quiet and you guess she is thinking about her lost love, just as you are thinking about yours.
Alexia comes downstairs, your bag in hand but stops at the door was upon seeing you in conversation with her mother. Alba nudges her forward but she doesn’t move. The two of them watch you.
“Does it ever get easier?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it.
The two sisters share a look. They had no idea what you were talking about and by their mother’s response, she didn’t either.
“Que?” As expected, the question catches Eli off guard.
“Living without the person who promised you forever” you turn to face the older woman with tears falling down your cheek.
“Oh Querida, come here” 
You feel comfort in her arms and for a brief few seconds you forget that she is a stranger. In this moment she is someone who understands your pain and that is more than enough for you. When you pull away you see Alexia and Alba, you feel extremely exposed.
“Hi. You must be Alba” you wipe the last of your tears and extend your hand towards the younger Putellas.
She swats away your hand and pulls you into a hug.
“So formal” Alba laughs “you’re even hotter in person” 
“Alba!” Both Eli and Alexia scold her.
“What? I’m being honest” 
“Thank you, I think. Is that mine?” You point the bad Alexia is holding.
“Yes. Sorry for the mix up” 
“No, no. It was my fault. I was running late for dinner with Ingrid. I left yours in the hall as I wasn’t sure where to put it”
Alexia stared at you almost as if frozen in place.
“Was I not suppose to do that? I can go get it for you”
“This is the most you’ve spoken to me since joining” Alexia was honest with what she was thinking.
“It must be the Christmas air” you laugh a little “speaking of, you three clearly have plans so I will leave you be” 
Eli tries to get you to stay but you can’t. The woman knew too much and even though shared the same pain, you knew it was only a matter of time before the pity eyes came. You also didn’t know how much the two sisters had heard.
Alexia asked and asked what the you and her mother were talking about but the woman refused to tell. The only answer Alexia got was to be careful with you and that not all is as it seems. It seemed to be enough for Alexia but she wasn’t giving up on you, not just yet.
She kept an eye on you over the Christmas break and just as you said you stayed in Barcelona. Alexia all but stalked your Instagram and even went as far as texting you some recommendations. You felt something towards the midfielder and it made you think that you might have been a little harsh on her. You made a mental reminder to speak to her once the break was over.
The first game back was away to Bilbao and it brought you the perfect opportunity to speak to Alexia as the two of you were roomed together. It was late by the time you got there so everyone went straight to their room. 
“Oh Y/N I don’t know what happened” Alexia says as she swiped the room key. 
“What are you — oh I see” 
There was only one bed, albeit a large double bed. 
You hadn’t shared a bed in almost a year and you wasn’t sure if you were ready for it. Now you had to find  a way to explain this to Alexia.
“I’ll sleep on the floor” Alexia suggests and even though you weren’t ready, you also knew you wasn’t going to let her do that.
“Alexia you are one of the most important players on the team. I cannot let you sleep on the floor. Take the bed, I’ll take the floor”
“Y/N, you are important too. You are our highest goal scorer. I am taking the floor, don’t argue with your captain”
She refused to take no for an answer and you hated it. When you came out the shower Alexia was on the floor and it looked awful. It was almost funny and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Don’t say anything. Bed” Alexia laughed along with you.
The room was dark except from the street lights then peaked through the curtains. Sleep wasn’t coming easy to you and by the sounds of tossing and turning, Alexia was struggling too. 
“Alexia, come sleep in the bed” The thought of having someone sleep next to you wasn’t something you necessarily wanted but Alexia sleeping on the floor wasn’t fair.
“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” 
There was something in her tone. She wasn’t talking about sharing the bed with a team mate, she was talking about sharing a bed in general. 
“She told you” Eli had to have told alexia about your conversation. 
“Who?” Alexia asked even though she knew you were talking about her mother. 
“Your mother. She told you about what I said”
“I asked but she didn’t tell me anything. I’m sorry that something happened to your friend” 
You sat up upon hearing her condolences. 
“My friend. What are you talking about?” 
Alexia, now sat up too, looked at you as if saying you know what I’m talking about.
“Natalia?” 
She said her name. Nobody had said her name. They knew it would cause too much pain. 
In that moment you are brought back to the last time someone said her name. It was the 5 November 2023 in a hospice not to far from your shared home in London. Natalia was the strongest woman you knew and no one would ever come close to her in your eyes. Yet just after Euros she told you that her time was coming, that the cancer was starting to win. You begged her to fight, you weren’t ready to lose her but you knew that you had been on borrowed time for many many years. The last person to say her name was a nurse as your wife took her final breath before she was called home.
“She was my wife” you could feel your nose twitch as a ball of emotion built in your throat. You knew the day was coming when you talked about her but you didn’t think it would come in Bilbao with Alexia now sitting at the foot of your bed.
The Catalonian knew she heard you correctly but she still sat in disbelief. She had no idea you were dating anyone let alone you were married. Alexia could do nothing but watch as you bury your head in your hand as your body racks with sobs. She wants to hug you, to hold you and to tell you to let it out but you weren’t that close. 
When you aggressively wipe your eyes you notice Alexia looking prettified and you cannot help but burst of into a fit of giggles.
“I’m going to go get Lucy or Keira or anyone else who isn’t me” your captain panics and makes a bee line for the door. She is stopped in her tracks as your hand grabs her wrist.
“You don’t have to”
She didn’t believe you and that was made obvious as her eyes dart back and forward between you and the door. 
“Isn’t this what you have been wanting? To know why I walked away” you pat the side of the bed next to you.
You saw the hesitation is Alexia’s eyes. In that moment she wanted to respect your boundaries and you appreciated that but for the first time in a while the thought of talking about Natalia didn’t make you feel like you would break. 
Once she sat down you turn to face you and you saw the look many people had given you. She felt sorry for you. 
“I didn’t know you were married” 
“Not many people did. We never hid anything. If you look you’ll see her in a lot of photos, she always supported me” you get comfy knowing that this is going to be a long conversation “I’m a private person and all I ever wanted to do was protect her” 
In that moment Alexia understood for she too was a private person. She knew that she was in the limelight but she still kept herself to herself off the pitch. 
“How did she—“ Alexia stopped talking as soon as she realised what she was about to ask “sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” 
“Leukemia” you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and counted to three “she first got it when she was six. We used to take the day off school to go to the hospital. She would call me her emotional support friend” you laugh as you remember the way she made you wear a badge “she won the battle only for it to come back when she was 16 then again at 28. The third battle was the hardest for her and it was the one she lost” 
Alexia caught the way you couldn’t look at her whilst you talked about the hardest times of your wife’s life. 
“She sounds like a strong woman” 
“Oh she was the strongest. She went through so much yet you never would have known it. Natalia had this heart that was big enough to like up the whole world. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. She supported me in the youths teams, was in the stands when I made my Arsenal debut and moved to France with me when I signed for Lyon. She said she’s followed me everywhere because she knew I’d be lost with her” 
When Alexia sees you laughing, she joins in too. 
“Things got bad just before the euros. I was so close to withdrawing but she begged me to go. She wanted to see me lift that trophy and I did, I did it for her. I didn’t know how bad it was until afterwards and I made the decision to be by her side. We did all the things on her bucket list. A couple of months later she couldn’t fight it anymore. Her strength was gone and the light was barely there. I was able to be by her side as she took her last breath” 
Alexia didn’t stop you as you got off the bed and made your way towards the window. She could tell by the way your hand went straight to your face that you were crying. 
“You wanted to know why I walked about?” You turned to face her and in that moment, knowing what she did, Alexia felt guilty. Guilty for reminding you of the loss you had suffered. 
“I walked away because I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. For so many years I played for her. I scored to see a smile on her face and I won my trophies so that I can give her my medals. I couldn’t return to Lyon without her and it felt wrong being in England” 
“Y/N I’m —“
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. You didn’t kill her, the cancer did” 
You hated it when people told you they were sorry for your loss. Why? Why are they sorry? You heard it so many times that it made you numb. 
Alexia could tell that you were feeling a lot right now. She wanted to be there if you wanted to talk more about Natalia but she also knew the importance of changing the subject when it’s needed. 
“Can I ask you a question?” She looked at you with a sincere gaze.
“You can. Is it about Na—“ 
Alexia shakes her head.
“Why Barcelona?” 
It is a question that she had been desperate to know. You have now told her why you weren’t ready to go back to Lyon but plenty of teams would have offered you a contract if you announced your return.
“I said it wasn’t about her but turns out it was. Talia loved Spain and Barcelona was her favourite place. I honestly thought I would retire at Lyon but she always said that if she could pick a team I play for them she would choose Barcelona. When I decided to come back, it felt right to sign for Barcelona. Also, Lucy and Keira are here. As you have seen, I have depended on them quite a bit and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy so having someone who knew made everything easier”
You could see Alexia processing what you had told her. 
“I’m happy you don’t play for Lyon anymore”
“Yeah, you might be able to beat them now”
Alexia stared you down and you wondered what her next move would be. Turns out you didn’t have to wait long because a pillow soon smacked you in the face.
You both burst into laughter when the pillow fight turns competitive.
“We really should be getting some sleep” Alexia says as she stands.
You took a second to think. 
“You can sleep in the bed Alexia. I won’t freak out you know”
“Y/N I can’t. Not now”
“Oh stop. I’m not some fragile little doll that will break if she shares a bed with someone. Now get in bed” 
You pull the duvet back and pat the bed. It is only when Alexia gets in that you realise she is on your side and you are on Talia’s.
“You know this is my side of the bed” Alexia says as she gets comfy.
You had your reasons for sleeping on that side. You want to be closest to the door in case someone broke in. You wonder if Alexia has a reason.
“Got to make sure no one comes in and kidnaps you. Buenas noches Y/N” 
You fall asleep that night with ease. You no longer feel the weight of keeping your emotions at bay and having Alexia knowing the truth makes you feel at ease around her for the first time since you joined the club.
From that day on things were different between you and Alexia. You found yourself spending more time with her than you did with Lucy and Keira. The two of them found it strange but didn’t question it. Whilst the defender was still very much protective over you, she did see a change in her captain which lead to her giving her the benefit of the doubt. 
Life in Barcelona was finally what you imagined. Even in January the sun was shining and the sky was blue, unlike the weather you have been used to. The pain in your heart was still there but for the first time in a long whilst you felt happy or at least the closest thing to it that you could feel. Alexia has invited you to family dinner which happened after every other home game. Her mother and sister made you feel welcome. You had become rather close with Eli as she would often reach out to talk to you and check in with you. She didn’t need to say much, the fact that she could understand was more than enough. 
Alba was quite the character and there was never a dull moment with her. She would relentless tease her sister and it had you holding stomach with laughter.
You had received some calls that made you think about a few things. You thought about talking to Lucy and Keira about it but you knew their decision would be biased so you confided in Alexia one night as the two of you walked Nala along Barceloneta.  She helped you work though the feelings that the question brought up and by the the time you arrived back to your apartment, which you learnt was in the building opposite to hers, you knew what your decision would be. 
During the game against Atleti there was a certain Dutchwoman in attendance. It was the second to last game before the Nations league semi final, a game that England has got to by the skin of their teeth. Barcelona came away with a 2-0 win and a lot of the players stayed out on the pitch afterwards to greet the fans that came to support them.
Sarina stood near the locker room and praised the team as they entered. 
“Are you here for Lucy and Keira?” Aitana asked as she walked down the hall.
Behind her walked the two English women, along with Alexia. The latter knew to expect her, it made sense for her to come see you in person. The other two clearly had no idea that their national team coach was coming.
“She isn’t here for them” 
Alexia’s words cause Lucy and Keira’s heads to turn in surprise. 
“Y/N’s still out on the pitch. She is playing with Irene’s son Matteo, shall I go get her?”
“No, I can wait” 
Just as three of them were about to enter they hear your voice followed by a child’s laughter. You walked down the tunnel with Irene and her little boy. Sarina saw just how happy you were and for a brief moment she regretted coming. She questioned whether or not this is what is best for you.
“Gaffa” you saw the look on your team mates faces and chuckled. Surely they knew it was only a matter of time before Sarina came knocking “Let me get showered quickly and we will go” 
“But we’re going out tonight. It’s team night” Aitana sulked.
“I’ll meet you guys there” 
Alexia and you shared a look. She knew what this conversation was going to be about and she was pretty sure she knew what the outcome would be and she was worried. You squeezed her shoulder and smiled before going into the locker room.
It was over 3 hours later that you finally enter the restaurant that the team were eating at. 
All heads turned to you as you walked through the door. The seat reserved for you happened to be next to Alexia which you don’t think was an accident. Lucy and Keira were sat opposite you and you see the look of suspense in their eyes. They hadn’t officially been told what you and Sarina were talking about but they had very good guesses. 
The rest of the team were having their own conversations and you didn’t want to make a scene so you nodded your head and that was enough confirmation for them.
“Yes!!” Lucy stood up suddenly and slammed her hands on the table.
“Holy fuck. Lucia, sit down”  
Lucy does as her told.
“Our captain is back” Keira said to herself. 
You tried your best to include yourself in the conversations around you but your mind kept wandering. You found yourself staring off into the distance. It is only when you feel a gentle hand on your thigh do you realise just how spaced out you were.
“Is everything ok? Did your coach say something because if she did then—“
“Stand down Ale” Alexia’s eye soften at the nickname. It wasn’t a new one for her but you had only just started calling her it and she loved it “I’m just thinking is all. What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t have a place in that team anymore?” You lean into her and whisper.
“Y/N, they are your team. Yes you took some time away but you lead them for a long time and you told me they knew your reasons. It might take some time to get back into things but you will soon be back to how you were before. Besides if things go well for both of us then we will have a World Cup rematch on our hands and I want to see what might have happened if you played in the summer” 
Oh you didn’t think about that. You hadn’t given your upcoming opponents a second thought. Alexia was right. If England beat France then they will face Spain in the national league final. 
You thought there might be some awkwardness when you walked through the doors at the England camp but you couldn’t have been more wrong. Each player welcomed you with open arms and the players that you didn’t know as much treated you like everyone else did.
There were a few moments when you got pulled aside by Sarina for what she called her mental health checks. She promised that nothing said between you would be told to anyone else and you chose to believe her. You were honest about how heavy the shirt felt when it had the England badge on and you told her of the nerves you were feeling about playing for your country again.
Alexia had kept texting you to check in and for the most part you told her the truth. It was the day before the match when you got overwhelmed and instead of lying, you chose to ignore her. You knew it wasn’t fair but wanted to stay focused. You could bury your feelings for 24 hours. Alexia on the other had wasn’t going to give up on you.
“Alexia” Jenni nudged her friends leg “Earth to Alexia” 
The woman in question had her eyes glued to the her phone as you sent you yet another message.
“What do you want!” Alexia snaps.
“Hey, don’t snap at me. Who you texting? Is it a girl?” Jenni peaked over her shoulder.
“No” Alexia pulled her phone closer to her chest “It’s Y/N”
“Y/N Y/L/N is a girl last time I checked” Jenni couldn’t help but tease.
“She but I don’t like her like that, well I do. Wait! I don’t” Alexia slumps down in her seat  “Oh Jenni, I don’t know how I feel”
Jenni hasn’t seen her friend like this in a long while. Normally Alexia knows what wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. This though is different. It’s almost like she knows what she wants but she is hesitating and Alexia doesn’t hesitate.
“It’s ok not to know but something is clearly bothering you. What is it?” 
“She is ignoring me”
“Last time I saw you you told me she didn’t want anything to do with you”
So much had changed since then and she didn’t know how to explain it. In the end she told her everything she could without going into the finer details. Alexia confesses her feelings and explains that she cannot get a hold of you and that none on your team mates were answering either.
“Alexia, I may not know why she stopped playing football but I saw the way she played, she loves the sport. Her playing for England again is a big deal. Everyone is talking about her press conference she did this morning, it’s all over social media” 
Alexia wasn’t aware of a press conference. She never goes on social media the day before a match because it is quite often a distraction. Jenni picks up on her friend’s obliviousness and gives alexia her phone so she can see what is being said.
Jenni was right. You are everywhere. 
Y/N Y/L/N makes her return but what does it mean? Why now?
Sarina Weigman confirm Y/N is the captain of this team despite turning her back on them.
Beth Mead ruled out for Semi final, should be back for final if England are successful.
World Cup rematch? Y/N says that Spain wouldn’t have won if she was playing.
Alexia read headline after headline, article after article. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed so she couldn’t imagine what you must have been feeling. The last headline made the Catalonian laugh because she too had thought about what the outcome might have been if you were playing.
“I think the last one is a stretch” Jenni mumbles.
“We will never know” Alexia is ever more determined to get a hold of you. Just as she was about to call you again, a message comes through.
Hi. Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been a lot. Thank you for checking in on me Alexia, I promise you I’m ok. Good luck in your match tomorrow.
“She’s ok” Alexia tells Jenni as if the forward was the one who was worried about you.
The next day you wake up and are ridden with nerves. It’s not a familiar feeling and you know that you need to calm down before the game or things will end badly. 
Despite protests from your team mates, you will start the game on the bench. It’s the right decision and you make sure to tell Sarina just that. Whilst the team’s recent performances have been spotty to say the least, you refuse to walk back in like nothing had changed. You know you need to earn your place on the pitch with the lionesses.
Spain’s game has an early kick off and finishes just after yours starts. The team get back to the hotel and have organised to watch it the hotel bar. Much to Alexia’s dismay she is called for Media seen as though Spain won and have qualified for the Olympics. 
When she finally joins the team she knows that the first half is over but that’s it.
“What’s the score?” She asks anyone who is listening.
“2–0” Ona says.
“That’s—“ Alexia is cut off before she can finish her sentence.
“To Germany” Jenni knows that Alexia would have wanted England to win if for no other reason than you “Y/N is going on for Toone” 
She cannot help the smile that tugs at her lips as your number goes on the subs board. 
The world watches as Mary runs over to you and gives you the band.
“Welcome back skipper” Mary pushes the band up your arm before you can stop her because she know’s that is what you’ll do. She was there in the captain’s meeting when you told Sarina that you didn’t deserve the captaincy.
“Game on, Maz” 
It felt right being on the pitch and wearing the three lions crest. You allow yourself to take in your return but only for a couple of seconds before you turn your attention to the game and the challenge that you face. 3 goals was a lot to ask for when Germany are playing as good as they are. It wouldn’t be easy and it would take everything you had but you never shied away from a challenge and you wasn’t about to start now.
After about ten minutes you found your rhythm and England were playing the type of football they are known for. It doesn’t take long for LJ to make a run and dance around the opposition. You have faith in her but follow her anyways in case she loses the ball. She doesn’t but Frohms does save her shot, she doesn’t save your rebound though.
“Get the ball” You shout to the Chelsea player. 
When the match restarts, the lionesses are on the hunt. Shot after shot is taken but somehow the ball stays out the net. England get a corner in the 80 minute and you’re lurking on the edge of the box, ready to make your run. Popp is the one marking you because she has studied you new way of play since joining Barcelona. Chloe’s corner is pin point and no amount of research in the world could stop you from getting the second goal and tying the game.
Alexia finds herself up on her feet with Ona and a couple of your team mates when you get your brace.
“Vamos Y/N” she says.
“You do realise that we will face them if they win” Misa reminds her.
“Right now, I don’t care. She deserves this and I’m celebrating my team mate” Alexia didn’t care if she might face you in the final.
“She told you” Aitana whispers as she pulls her captain down to the sofa “That is why she doesn’t hate you anymore and why you’ve stopped interrogating her”
Alexia does nothing but nod. Her fellow midfielder didn’t need to know anything else and she doesn’t ask for it either. She accepts that the reason must be valid if Alexia has dropped her questions.
There are 4 minutes announced of stoppage time. 
When you look up the the score board and see the number you get flashbacks on the euros final. You have been in this position before and came out victorious. Today was going to be no different. 
It was huge mistake by Germany when Gwinn takes down Hemp about a meter outside the box.
In the past you have found yourself stood over the ball with Beth but this game it’s Alex who stands beside you.
With her hand over her mouth she gives you strict instructions.
“You’re taking it” 
It’s not a question and you don’t argue.
“You have saved us tonight, now get your hattrick”
The amount of faith Alex had in you did wonders but it didn’t settle every nerve running through your body. Free kicks were your specialty, this wasn’t nothing new and the pressure was a familiar feeling. 
As soon as you strike the ball you know it’s going in. It’s a hard feeling to describe but many call it shooters instinct, it had never been wrong and it wasn’t now. The ball floated over the wall and went in the further part of the top corner. The shot was unsaveable. You ran over to the bench, more specifically to Sarina, to celebrate with the woman who gave you space and welcomed you back with open arms. 
“It’s like you never left”
Her words caught you off guard. For a brief moment you agreed with her but you got hit by the feeling of grief, you looked towards the family section and there was no one supporting you. Maybe some things hadn’t changed but a lot certainly has. When the full time whistle was blown your team mates ran towards you, all of the congratulating you on your performance and your first game back.
It was a weird kind of celebrations that night. The team was split, half wanted to celebrate getting through the final and the other half knew the job wasn’t done, they knew that the biggest task was yet to be faced. Spain had beaten them before and on the greatest stage, the UEFA national league final could either repeat history and England could rewrite it.
The team travelled to Madrid that night, only hours after the game. Upon arrival almost everyone went to their rooms but not you. You knew sleep wouldn’t come easy so you decided to wander the streets of Madrid. It had become a habit of yours, you would walk around and people watch. Every human had their own story to tell and it made you forget about yours.
You had no destination planned yet you found yourself stopping outside a hotel, the one you know from your text messages with Alexia, was the one the Spain team was staying at. 
A lot of feelings were running through you and you saw this as the universe’s sign that maybe you should talk about them. You have confided in Alexia since Sarina first reached out to you, she knew more than anyone how you really felt about returning and you talked about this very moment, the hours after your first game when the past is very much present in your mind. You remember the words she told you ‘when that happens you call me’ so that is what you do or at least that is what you go to do.
“Y/N” you hear a familiar voice say. You turn to see Jenni, Irene, Laia and Misa walking towards you.
“Hi guys” your voice is quiet, shy almost and you cannot help the way your eyes scan for Alexia knowing full well that these are the people she spends the most time with.
“What are you doing here?” Misa asks you. The two of you hadn’t formally been introduced but you had scored a brace against her in the El Classico.
“I’m—“ 
“Here for Alexia” Jenni says with a knowing look and you cannot help but feel like she knows something you don’t.
You can only nod. Apart from Irene, you didn’t know these girls very well and the version of yourself that you show to strangers is very different to the one that your friends see.
‘I can take you to her. We are roommates” Jenni seems sincere with her words but you feel a pang of jealousy. Everybody knew that the two of them used to date, it shouldn’t bother you, you had no right to be jealous yet that is exactly what you were feeling.
You think about it and Jenni can tell you are thinking about it.
“She hasn’t stopped talking about you and I know she will want to see you. She was your biggest fan when we watched the game” Jenni added hoping to create some sense of comfortability.
“She watched my game?” You asked in disbelief. You thought you had no one but maybe you did, maybe Alexia was the someone that was cheering you on but instead of the family area she was cheering you on from the hotel you were currently standing outside of.
“She did. I think she forgot she was Spanish for a minute” Irene says which causes you to laugh.
“I doubt that but I appreciate the support. You know I shouldn’t be talking to you, you guys are the enemy now” 
“Yet you came here for our captain, she will be your enemy too. Come on, I’ll take you to her. We wouldn’t want you to be spotted outside our hotel, just think of the optics” Jenni once again says.
“Ok” you nod your head a few times to solidify your answer.
The girls lead you through the hotel but only Jenni and Irene stay with you, Misa and Laia walk ahead. The longer you walk the more you begin wondering if this was a good idea. What if you are overstepping your boundaries. You had no right to be here and could easily be turned away at any point.
You enter the lounge area of the hotel which holds the majority of the Spanish national team yet your eyes search for only one. She see’s you before you see her and is walking over to you with a worried look on her face.
“Estas bien? What are you doing here?” Alexia’s arm rests on your shoulder.
“It was an accident. I was out for a walk and I ended up here” you explained.
“She was asking for you” Jenni says even though technically it wasn’t true. In her eyes she wanted to play matchmaker after it was made evidently clear that Alexia was hesitant to peruse things with you even though she had feelings for you.
“Is this true?” Alexia asks and you nod.
“We won, I returned, I scored, wore the armband and I didn’t have anyone is stands” you whispered so only she could hear you.
The look in your eyes changed. For the first time that night you showed your true emotions. Alexia didn’t need to hear anything else. She grabbed your hand and escorted you to the outdoor seating area. She sat down whilst your paced the patio.
“Y/N, come sit down” Alexia pats the seat next to her and you comply “Are you ok, really? What made you come here to me?”
“I’m not ok but I’m more ok than I thought I would be. It’s been quite a day, that game was —“
“Incredible. You changed the entire play” 
“It felt right. I belong on the pitch with the girls, I should never have left” You didn’t register that you felt guilty about your absence until you said the words out loud to Alexia.
“You needed to. You had to process your loss and you returned when you were ready”
Alexia was very understanding, you had to give her that. 
“That answers my first question but the second” the Catalonian didn’t want to push but there had to be a reason and until she heard the truth she was filled with worry. You had been walking the streets of Madrid, alone, at almost midnight.
“Why am I here?” You repeated it. Maybe you hoped that hearing the question again would help you figure out an answer, it did “I wanted to celebrate…….with you. I was surrounded by my team, people I consider family yet you were the one I wanted to call and tell about the game”
You dipped your head when you felt yourself getting emotional. You were suppose to be happy but with everything you were feeling you were overwhelmed. On top of what you were feeling you couldn’t ignore the way your heart beat twice as fast because Alexia was sat opposite you with her hand now resting on your thigh. 
When you looked up Alexia noticed the the tears in your eyes and was quick to wipe away one when it fell.
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way Alexia, it is wrong” you met her eye as you made your version of a confession.
“You can be happy about playing football again Y/N. Natalia would have wanted you to be”
“Don’t say her name, not now” you shook your head and Alexia’s hand fell back to its prior place on your thigh.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I can give you space if that what you need” the blonde stands, ready to leave you be but you grab her hand and pull her back down.
“I don’t want space and that is the problem. I wasn’t talking about the game Alexia. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about you” you shook your head in disbelief. You were sure that your shot of happiness died with your wife but you have developed feelings for Alexia and could no longer deny it.
“Y/N” Alexia cupped your face so that you would look at her but when you did, her hand didn’t move.
“Ale” you melted into her touch. That very touch gave you butterflies and you enjoyed the act of intimacy.
The two of you went silent but each of your thoughts were very loud. Alexia glanced at your lips, you knew what she was about to do and you didn’t stop her. Maybe you should have, maybe you should have pulled away but you didn’t. You didn’t move when her lips hovered centimetres from your own, you let her kiss you. You froze in the moment, like a deer in headlights. It was only when you closed your eyes did you realise what was happening. The kiss felt like you were cheating, it felt wrong yet felt so right.
“You shouldn’t have done that. We can’t do this. It was wrong” you pushed Alexia away and stood up hastily.
You stormed away before Alexia had the chance to speak. All eyes were on you as you walked through the sea of Spanish players. Their eyes went from you and then to Alexia who was running through, trying to catch up to you. She was hot on your heels until you turned to face her. She waited a couple of seconds before taking steps towards you.
“Stop” you say but she doesn’t “No!” you held you arm out to further imply your seriousness.
After that she can do nothing else but watch you walk away from her. Her hazel eyes stayed on you until you were out the lobby doors and onto the streets of the Spanish capital.
Alexia was frozen in place. She has ruined everything by rushing but she felt something when she touched you, she felt a spark and that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t feel the same thing she did. You told her that had feelings for her, you came all this way to see her. Those things meant something but maybe she had read it wrong, maybe it had all been in her head.
“Alexia, are you ok? You’re crying” Irene appeared in front of her. The woman in question was quick to wipe her eyes in hope that no one else would see her tears.
“I’m fine. It’s getting late, everyone should go to their rooms. We have a final to prepare for and we need to be at our best” Alexia walked away.
The two of you were very quiet in the upcoming days and were laser focused on the task at hand. Beat the opposing team and being the first even UEFA Nations League champions. Both of your team mates could tell something was wrong but they didn’t know what to do. Your team mates wasn’t aware of your late night adventures until Aitana texted Keira to ask if you were ok and told her that Alexia wasn’t after you showed up at their hotel. The English midfielder kept this to herself given that Lucy has only just got started talking to Alexia and there were a few players on the team who’s protectiveness could rival the defenders.
By the time the day of the final came around there was plenty of reason for concern but both teams knew that this is what you had been working towards. Yes, a trophy was on the line but it was the previous trophy that was the topic of conversation. 
The first time Alexia saw you was when they arrived for the pitch inspection. You were near the goal with LJ, it has become a new pre match routine for the two of you. Well you did it the game a couple of days ago and you won that so the two of you gravitated towards the goal today. 
Alexia wanted to go to you and that is what she was going to do until she felt a hand grab her wrist.
“Alexia” 
She turned to face Keira.
“Leave her be”
“I didn’t mean to upset her. We were talking about feelings and then I kissed her, I couldn’t help it. It felt right in the moment” Alexia couldn’t stop talking. It’s like was making a confession and Keira would be the one deciding whether or not it was a sin.
Meanwhile the English midfielder couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure she had suspected something was going on between the two of you but she also had a strong sense that you wasn’t ready for anything knew. In her eyes you were still healing.
“You kissed her?” Keira whispered as not to bring attention to their conversation.
Alexia was about to explain further but Keira stopped her as she sure her other team mate coming towards them.
“Lucy is coming. I will talk to you about this later” 
It was as if Keira flipped a switch. Her look of concern was replaced with a smile and she even put on a fake laugh so Lucy wouldn’t arrive to an awkward silence. Soon enough it was a gathering of Barcelona players yet Alexia could stay focused on what her friends were saying for you were beginning to walk towards her.
In your eyes you wanted to talk to Alexia and you knew you needed to. The other night was a lot for you to process but you did owe her an explanation for leaving, that much you did know. She looked good as you watched her enter the pitch. You let your eyes linger in the most discreet way possible. 
“You and Putellas?” LJ asked you. She wasn’t aware of what happened, nor did she know you were married. In her eyes, you were hiding something and she wasn’t wrong.
“We are friends…..I think. It’s complicated” you admitted knowing that Lauren wouldn’t push you further.
“Uncomplicate it” she suggested.
“If only it was that easy. Let’s head in and get ready”
You felt the change in heartbeat again as you got closer to where Alexia was standing. Your head might have been all over the place but you heart was being very clear in what it wanted only you weren’t ready to admit it.
“Y/N” Alexia shouted to you as you walked past her.
“Hi” for whatever reason, you pulled her into a hug “Good luck today, you’re going to need it” 
You both started laughing at the quick change of energy.
“I don’t think it’s us that need luck. We beat you in the summer” Alexia was cocky but she wasn’t confident.
“You didn’t beat me though” you couldn’t help but smile at her.
Your smile was genuine and that is something Alexia took great hope in seeing. Maybe you weren’t mad at her, maybe you just needed a little space.
What you said next doubled that hope.
“Come find me after the game”
Then just as quick as the hope was there, it wasn’t.
“We need to talk”
Those 4 words struck fear in Alexia but she didn’t have the chance to say anything because you were already down the tunnel by the time she came to her senses.
Your was brought up several times in the Spanish locker room and each time all eyes fell to Alexia for she is the one that knew you most. She had learnt how you think, what plays you are going to make before you make them. In her team’s eyes she knew how to stop you. Only it wasn’t that easy. Alexia did knew how you play but that style changes when you are hungry, like you have a point to prove and this game brought both of those things.
“Stop focusing on Y/N! If you focus on how to stop her then you’ve already lost. Focus on stopping her from getting the ball” That is the last thing she said before heading out into the tunnel. 
The lionesses were waiting for her, she expected it. It was an intimidation tactic. You weren’t there and that was a surprise, she would have bet good money that you would be in the starting 11. Mary stood opposite her and smirked when she saw the look of bewilderment on the opposing players face. 
Alexia wanted to say something, she kept looking back at the team. If she was paying attention she would notice that there was only 10 players on the England side of the tunnel. With her eyes now facing forward she didn’t see you walking towards the front of the line. The sound of your cleats fell on deaf ears.
Her head shot to the side when she caught a glimpse of you standing next to her with the pendent in your hand.
“Capital Y/L/N, nice to see you back where you belong” Alexia covered her mouth, her being well aware that there were cameras on her.
You shake your head at her greeting.
“Captain Putellas. You’re going to wish I wasn’t” you had one last attempt to get in her head.
“No I won’t. Win or lose today, this is something the world, myself included, has been waiting for” 
You thought you would get a smart remark not a reply that was genuine.
“Alexia” 
“Y/N” 
Those were the last words spoken except from a good look after the coin toss.
You called a huddle before everyone got into place. This game was important, not only because of the trophy on the line but it was the lionesses chance at redemption. To prove that it was only one game.
“I want you all to do something for me. Play for right now, not for the past. You cannot change what happened in the summer, no matter how hard you try. Winning today won’t get you the star on the shirt but it can be the reset you guys have been wanting. That loss has been haunting you, I can see it by the look on your faces and I promise you here today that if you play with revenge in your hearts then you will fail. Yes, this is Spain but we are England. We don’t stay down, we get up and fight. We stand together as a team, a pride. We go out there and leave everything on the pitch” 
Each player is hooked on every word as you give Mary the signal. 
“England on three” 
You all come together one more time before getting in position.
Alexia tries to do the same by most of the team is watching you.
“She is going to make it hard” Olga tells her captain.
“She is going to make our lives hell for the next 90 minutes but that’s not to say we can’t give it back. Look at that star on your shirt, we got that by beating this team. Yes, Y/N wasn’t playing but she is one player. As good as she may be, we are better. You’ve seen what everyone is saying, they are calling our World Cup win a fluke, that we didn’t win but England lost. We may have qualified for the Olympics but our job is not done. We have a trophy to win. Vamos Espana” 
Just like England did, Spain come together before readying themselves for the game.
The game which starts in the worst possible way for the away team. It seems the your players might be a bit more nervous that they are letting on. Inside the first 15 minutes Salma gets through on goal and sends Spain up 1-0. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t mean the game was over either. You were playing safe, as a way to get the most out of the team around you. When the first half is done with you haven’t take a single shot on goal. 
Spain entered the tunnel happy and England entered it less so.
The atmosphere was eerie in the locker room and you could see the self doubt radiating off your team mates.
Sarina takes the floor and explains all sorts of strategies but nobody is listening. They are in their own head.
“Do you mind?” You walk up to Sarina hoping to have a talk with your team. The coach happily steps aside.
“How many of you are thinking about the World Cup? Raise your hand” nobody does and you decide to call bullshit “You’re lying and I won’t have that. You are telling me none of you are out there thinking of the summer? the picture of them lifting the trophy that should have been yours?” 
One by one players begin lifting their hands.
“I can stand here and say I haven’t been good enough. I need to be better and I will be better. In 45 minutes we will be crowned champions. The question is are we going to do it in style or are we going to make it harder for ourselves? We know what we need to do and we will do it” 
You leave the locker room and go back out onto the pitch. You are the first one out there and you take a minute to look at the score board. 1-0. You hated to lose but more than that, you hated to let people down. You made the decision to come back and you didn’t do that to come second.  You returned to be a champion and to make Natalia proud, you wasn’t doing to let her down. You had spent the past couple of days trying not to think about her and maybe that was the problem. She was your greatest strength, your biggest supporter and she may be no longer with you, you may be beginning to move on but that doesn’t mean you have to forget about her. No, you need to play for her just as you always did.
The first ten minutes of the second half it was like a different team was on the pitch. England were pushing and pressing and Spain were struggling. In the 67 minute was when the game was made even once again. You and hempo were tiring out the defence and it made them vulnerable. On one counter attack they couldn’t keep up. Irene was the only player standing between you and Cata but she could see Hempo running up beside you. She found herself in a lose lose situation so she stuck with you in hopes that the pressure would work, it didn’t. You pull her in just enough to give hempo enough space. At the last minute you passed to your left and she fired the ball into the back of the net.
Game on.
Spain were beginning to tire and the one touch football that was known around the world began to work in favour of England. They were unable to play out from the back because you, Alessia, Hempo and LJ was pressing the defence. It was mind play and it was working. 
It was during a corner where things got interesting.
“Keep going!” You clapped your hands to rally the team “we are in their heads, now we end it” 
“You’re not in our heads” Alexia says as she chooses to mark you. It was a tactic they hadn’t done yet, so far Jenni had marked you.
“Just you saying that is proof that we are but feel free to prove me wrong” you had a minute to talk as the ref walk talking to Lucy and Irene.
“I will. Let’s make it interesting. You score right now and I’ll buy you a drink later”
“So that means I’ll be taking the trophy and your money? Oh you’re on” 
Alexia followed you are you walked around the box as you got into position. You would end up in one or two places; front post or in the middle. Never did she think you would make a run for the back post and swap positions will Lucy. The change caught Alexia out and when the ball hit the back of the neck she shook her head in defeat. 
She had played right into your hands. You had pulled her in with your words and left her hanging when you celebrated what would go on to be the winning goal of the game.
You had to take a moment when the game was over. Everyone was celebrating but you and Lucy made the effort to congratulate your club team mates of a game well played.
“Ay, Capi. You’re predictable you know that?” Lucy threw her arms around the Catalonian.
“Lucy!” You slapped her on the back of the head “What she meant to say is you guys played a good game and that we will see you in Paris”
“We’ll see them in Barcelona” Lucy tried to correct you.
“I mean on the pitch as opponents, idiot”  
Alexia was to focused on what the defender said first to hear the bickering that was now taking place between the two of you.
“What did she mean?” Alexia asked you.
Lucy gave you a look before leaving the two of you be.
“You once told me that in order to see yourself as the best, you had to beat the best. Tonight you wanted to beat me”
“No, I —“ 
“You did and that’s ok. I wanted to beat you too. It’s our competitive nature. That need you had allowed us a way in. I didn’t know it would come from a corner, only that in at least one part of the game you will stick to me just so you could say you got the upper hand”
“I should have dropped you off, let Irene pick you up and followed Lucy” Alexia understands the error she made.
“You should have but don’t beat yourself up about it. That wasn’t our first plan or second. Our plan was for Hempo to tire Ona out and for Lucy to get inside Olga’s head. Without those two things happening, we wouldn’t have got the corner in the way we did”
Alexia didn’t know whether to be pissed off or impressed that you read her and her team so well.
“You deserve the win today. Go celebrate with your team” 
“I will but remember you owe me a drink. I’ll text you the address of wherever we go. Invite the girls too”
Alexia watched you walk away but there was one more thing she wanted to tell you only she feared it would do more damage than good. In the end she bite the bullet and ran to you.
“Y/N” 
“Hi again” you laughed “Do you want another explanation of our strategy? We can always watch the game back when we in home in Barcelona” 
Home in Barcelona. There is something about the way you said it that made alexia feel warm and fuzzy inside.  She quickly shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts and the overthinking that came with them.
“I just want to say that Natalia would have been proud of you today. Not just today but the other game too. I know it’s not my place to say that because I didn’t know her but you should know that. You—“ Alexia began rambling.
“Breathe. Thank you for saying that. I know she is looking down on me right now with a huge smile on her face and truth is if I think about her too much then I think I might cry so I don’t want to go into that right now. Thank you though” 
Alexia couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t have said that.
The ceremony went by in the blind of an eye. One minute you are waiting for Spain to collect their medals, the next you are raising the trophy with Mary. Back in the locker room you find yourself staring at the medal on your neck. Never in your professional career had one stayed on your neck for this long and never has the gold felt so heavy. It felt like it was weighing you down so you take it off and stuff it into your back. You would talk about that means with your therapist if you had one. 
Later on in the night you found yourself at the hotel bar with the rest of the team celebrating. You tried your best to be happy and part of you truly was but you life off the field was becoming more complicated and hard to ignore.
“Excuse me” you tell the group that included Leah, Georgia, Keira and Lucy. 
“Should we be concerned?” Georgia asks.
“Yes but let her have a moment. These past ten days have been a lot for her” Lucy tells her friend.
They watched as you paced back and forth on the balcony. To the English it was warm outside but there was still a chill in the air and you weren’t wearing a jacket. Keira kept looking at her watch asking herself how long is long enough before she goes out to you. 
Some of the Spanish team arrive about an hour after the lionesses. Some of them go to the bar, some go to friend but Alexia, well she only had one interest and she couldn’t it or more specifically couldn’t find you. Her eyes scanned the room one, twice and third time. She had her phone out ready to call just as she sees you. 
Leah catches her walking towards you and wants to stop her.
“What is she doing” The blonde asks defensively “Y/N doesn’t want anything to do with her”
The Arsenal player has heard about you bust up when Keira visiting England over Christmas. 
“Things are different now but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do. Alexia!” Keira shouts her club captain over.
“Hola. Congratulations again. You guys sure know how to party” she tried to be polite even though she had no interest in a conversation with anyone who wasn’t you.
“Thank you” Leah seems genuine “Were you going to see Y/N?” 
Alexia nods.
“That might not be the best idea right now. I think she needs a minute to herself. It’s been quite the day for her”
“I know. That’s why I want to talk to her” Alexia knew that you might be been struggling but to her that was all the more reason for her to talk to you.
“She won’t even wear her medal” Georgia adds earning her a shove. As far as the English players are aware, Alexia didn’t know anything.
“That isn’t surprising. Every tournament until this one she has given her medal to Natalia” Alexia says as if it is the most obvious thing but your friends didn’t put two and two together.
“Wait” Lucy says “She told you about her?” Again, Alexia nods.
“When? She hasn’t talked about her since she passed” the defender added.
“After Christmas” Alexia explains but goes no further.
“That’s why she went to you the other night but then you—“
“Keira, I won’t talk about that right now. I just want make sure she is ok and I can’t do that if I am being interrogated by you” 
With that Alexia leaves your friends speechless and makes her way towards the balcony.
As quietly as possible, Alexia slides the door open and closes it behind her. She didn’t want to startle you so she watched from a distance. Your face wasn’t puffy so you hadn’t been crying but your posture was stiff so you were stressed.
“They’ve spent the past hour burning holes in the back of my head from their staring yet you have come straight out” you turn to see Alexia resting against the door. 
“I owe you a drink and —” 
“And yet your hands are empty” you point to Alexia’s hand which as you stated aren’t holding a drink “You can come closer you know. I’m not going to blow”
“I know it’s just that—“
“The last time we were along I ran away crying” you laugh as you think back to that night. Things were going really well until they wasn’t.
“Are you going to let me finish a sentence or are you going to keep talking for me?”
You mumble an apology and signal for her to continue.
“Your friends know I know and I accidentally told keira we kissed” 
“Figures. She has been hovering” 
The two of you go quiet. It’s not awkward, it’s comfortable but even then it’s not what either of you wanted.
“You said we needed to talk” Alexia didn’t want to push things and you had told her this before the game.
“We do. What happened the other night it—“
“Shouldn’t have happened”
“Who is finishing the other’s sentences now” 
“Lo siento”
“As I was saying” you send her smirk so she knows she isn’t in trouble “The other night was very overwhelming for me, not because I didn’t like what happened but because I did. I told you that I had feelings and those feelings are for you Alexia. You make me feel things that I thought I’d never feel again. I promised my heart and love to her Alexia and to feel these things for someone else is like an act of betrayal. It feels wrong but I don’t want those feelings to stop. You kissed me and I knew it was going to happen yet I didn’t to stop it. I shouldn’t have ran away like that”
“It was a lot for you, I understand that” Alexia tried to reassure you that it was ok.
“It was but I should have stayed. You wanted to talk to me and I didn’t give you the opportunity. Just because I lost someone doesn’t mean that it’s only my feelings that matter. I’m sorry Alexia” 
Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Since you said the words ‘we need to talk’ she has been trying to think of all the things you could have said, an apology was not one of them.
“Can I say what I would have that night?” Alexia asks and you nods your head whilst closing the distance between you.
“Those feelings you talked about, I feel them too. Things changed between us after you told me and I couldn’t ignore it, trust me I tried. I was also aware of your loss and that this might not be something you are ready for so I talked to my mum one night. She is the only other person I know who has experienced the same loss you have. I told her that I had fallen for you and that I wanted to act on my feelings. You know what she told me? She told me that time heals all wounds but no amount of time is the same. If I wanted to prove to you that I truly liked you then I would need to take it slow so that is what I am willing to do. If you want to pursue this then we will take it slow, as slow as you need. You said it feels like an act of betrayal and I respect that. I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for”
Alexia reached out for you and noticed once again tears were falling down your face.
“I have made you cry again. I shouldn’t have said anything. Y/N I am so sorry”
“Alexia, these aren’t sad tears” you reach for her hand  “I can’t promise you that this will be easy. When Natalia died she took a lot of my heart with her and I don’t know how much is left but I want to share what I have left with you. Please be patient with me Alexia because I don’t know how to do this again. For most of my life it has been her and I but now I get the chance at happiness again, with you. We can take this slow?”
“We will go as slow are you want. I have nothing but time for you Y/N”
Alexia knew what to say and for the first time in a long time you found yourself leaning forward. Just as you were about to kiss her she moves and kisses your cheek.
“Slowly Y/N” Alexia winked causing you to chuckle “How about we go for dinner when we return to Barcelona?“
“I would really like that”
“Me too. Now if I remember correctly I owe you a drink” Alexia holds the door open so that you both can rejoin the party.
“That does seem to be the case. Make it a double. It’s not every day you pull one over on La Reina to score the winning goal” you shoved her playfully.
1K notes · View notes
cowgurrrl · 1 year
Text
She’s A Gun
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader
Author’s note: *John Mulaney voice* My wife is a bitch and I love her SO much (gif by @salome-c) I also didn’t know how to end this so sorry
Summary: Somebody didn’t give the new guy a heads up about talking about Joel Miller’s family [1.6k]
Warnings: idiots in love, a quick mention of a queer slur, I can’t think of anything else!!
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You catch him looking at you across the room as you sip some new whiskey Tommy traded for. He looks young and fresh-faced without many scars or littering the surface of his skin. His eyes are bright when they meet yours, and you give him a polite smile before returning to your drink. Unsurprisingly, he bellies up to the bar a few minutes later. You glance at the door, and the man follows your gaze. 
"You meeting someone?" He asks. The bartender, a kind man named Nick, flashes you a look, but you wave him off, turning to the younger man, who is dead set on making his presence known. 
"You must be new." You say, and he laughs as he holds out his hand. 
"You got me. I'm Luke," He says. You meet him halfway and shake his hand, giving him your name. "Where are you from?"
"I came here from Boston."
"You're a long way from home. What brought you here?" 
"Long story."
"Is it longer than the time it would take to get you another drink?" 
"I can get my own drink, but thank you."
"'Course," he says but doesn't move from his place next to you. "What do you do here in Jackson?" He asks, and you open your mouth to say something, but he cuts you off. "Let me guess. School teacher. No, a nurse."
"I work patrols, but good guess."
"Oh, I'm going to work patrols, too. I actually just signed up for my first shift tomorrow. Speaking of which, do you know anything about this guy… Miller, I think, is his name. I heard he's a hard ass."
"Joel or Tommy?"
"There's multiple?" He asks, and you smirk as you sip your drink.
"There's a few of 'em hanging around, yeah. What did they say? Maybe I can," you shrug and try to hide the amusement in your voice. "Help you figure it out."
"Well, this guy, Seth, said Miller shouldn't even be in Jackson. Something about him killing people to get by before coming here, but he gets to stay because he's buddies with Maria. Apparently, he's a hell of a shot, though. I heard a rumor that he once shot an Infected from a mile away, but I'll believe it when I see it." He says, and you nod. 
You remember that day well. Tommy had been bragging about his marksmanship, mostly telling big fish stories, and you finally got sick of it. Joel told you to leave it, but you had to see. When you went on patrol the next day, you and Tommy had a competition to see how far he could actually shoot. You passed the gun back and forth to see who could hit accurately and how far. You were the one holding the gun when the Infected bound his way up the hill and quickly went down as the bullet buried in his skull. You didn't think that story would've made the rounds, though. 
"What else did Seth say?" You ask, and he puffs his cheeks out as he shakes his head.
"He told me to stay away from him. Something about not fucking with people like that because he's ruthless, especially when it comes to his kid. He said Miller yelled at him last week because he said something to her. Just... totally lost his mind like a crazy person." It wasn't just something. He called my daughter a dyke, you think to yourself. Joel may have pushed him and made him leave, but you threatened to ruin his fucking life. If you ever hear him say something like that to Ellie again, you'll make Joel look like the poster child for forgiveness. You bite the inside of your cheek and save that information for later. 
Seth wasn't warning Luke about Joel. He was warning him about you.
"And you're sure he was talking about a man?"
"Pretty sure. I mean, I know people do lots of shitty things to stay alive, but I can't imagine a woman instilling that much fear in a man like Seth," He says, and you hum. "No offense."
"None taken." You smile and watch his guard come down just enough for him to feel comfortable reaching for your arm.
"I wish I had known they let women as beautiful as you out on patrol. I would've signed up with you instead of Miller." He says, and you almost gag. Joel's hand skims your lower back almost as if on cue, and you turn to face him. He kisses you a second too long before looking over your shoulder to face the stranger who looks embarrassed. His arm wraps protectively around your middle, and he's close enough that you can smell his shampoo over the bar’s stench of stale beer.
"Great timing. This is Luke. He's starting patrols tomorrow," You say. Joel reaches across the space to shake his hand, and Luke winces at his too-tight grip. "Luke, this is my husband, Joel Miller," you wish you had a camera to take a picture of the stunned look on his face when he hears the last name. "Joel, we were just talking about the last time I was on patrol with Tommy."
"You're Miller?" Luke asks, suddenly looking pale. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Oh, I thought I mentioned it. I'm sorry, I'm probably losing my mind." You echo Seth's words and smack yourself on the forehead dramatically. Luke drains his drink before glancing around the room.
"It was great to meet you, man. Um, I'm gonna run to the bathroom really fast." He says and takes several steps away from the bar. 
"Oh, so soon? I was hoping you and Joel could talk about routes."
"Maybe later." He says, and with that, he's gone. You smile and turn in Joel's arms to face him.
"Jesus, I thought he was going to have a heart attack. What did you say to him?" 
"Seth was warning him about the mercenary who's buddies with Maria and shot an Infected from a mile away, asked if I knew anything about the guy."
"Seth should learn to keep his fuckin' mouth shut." He grumbles, and you nod.
"It didn't help his case that he tried flirting with me. Even asked if I was a school teacher." You say, and he gives you a look. His warm fingers reach under your shirt collar to pull out the chain with your wedding band on it.
"Maybe if you actually wore this, that wouldn't happen so often."
"C'mon, everybody knows I'm yours. It's not my fault no one gave him the run down," you say, and he tugs on the chain to kiss you, his big hands moving to hold your jaw. He swallows your gasp when he licks into your mouth, sending a zing of electricity down your spine. He's a touch too handsy for a public space, but you're not complaining. "I don't see you wearing yours out on patrol either." You say, pulling away before he can start something he can't finish, at least not in public. Still, his hand slips into your back pocket, squeezing your ass through the denim.
"Don't want to lose a finger. Besides, everybody knows I'm yours," he parrots, and you smile. A familiar, old country song plays over the speakers, and Joel lights up at the first few chords. "Will you dance with me?" He asks, pressing light kisses to your jaw to butter you up. You lock your arms around his shoulders and let yourself forget about everyone else in the bar. 
"And to think there was a time when you hated PDA."
"That was before someone tried hittin' on my wife," he says, and you feel like your face will get stuck from smiling so much. It's been three months since the small backyard wedding officiated by Tommy and Maria. Ellie walked you down the aisle— more of a patch of grass than anything else— and acted as your maid of honor. When Tommy asked if she agreed to give you to Joel, she said, "it's not like she's fucking property, but sure." She beamed so brightly when she realized you each included her in your vows, promising to love and protect her as much as you love and protect each other. It wasn't planned, but the unexpected matching further proved that you three are a family. Still, you don't know if you'll ever get used to hearing Joel call you his wife. "Dance with me, please." He pouts into your neck, and you finally give in, grabbing his hand and leading him to the dance floor. 
He pulls you close, and you bury your face in his neck as you slowly dance to Tanya Tucker's voice. He sings along for only you to hear, his accent getting stronger as he does. You could stay like this forever, wrapped up in him and listening to him sing the same song you used to sing along to while driving on backroads. You would marry him again if you could. You think you would marry him in every lifetime.
Scary rumors of mercenaries and blood on your hands fade from your mind. To men like Seth and Luke, you are a subversion of their holy mother. You are bloody and broken, a monster beyond saving. You are a warzone with a heartbeat.
But to Joel, you are the most sacred thing he's ever held. It's not enough to erase the rumors and nightmares about you, but it's enough to knock the wind out of you and make you love your husband that much more. That has to count for something. 
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Tag list: @evyiione
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m-ayo-o · 6 months
Note
megumi being out on an overnight mission so he sends yuuji or gojo to look after bunny!reader in heat.. 😞☝️
o-o-o-oh wow 18+ megumi's bunny~ explicit sex, f!reader bunny hybrid, 21+ y/o characters ! wc 1.6k oops pt. two hybrid fics
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Another curse down. He wipes the sweat from his forehead- it's getting fucking hot out here, especially since he keeps receiving voice notes and pictures from his gorgeous bunny who's back at home.
"Love you, Megumi. Can't wait to see you. Please hurry."
You sound so sad and cute, and he can just tell from the pictures that you're getting all hot and bothered, with the cutest pink flush on your cheeks. He feels like a terrible owner, leaving his perfect bunny in heat, all by herself.
He usually manages to wiggle out of missions during this time, but tonight it just couldn't be helped. He did make sure to give you extra attention last night and this morning, but he knows you need more.
If you had it your way, he'd be deep in your tight bunny pussy all day. You even beg for him to stay inside you during the night.
But right now he can only afford quick replies to your messages when he gets a break from the relentless enemies he's dealing with. They're an easy task for him, but still tiring.
"Baby- just wait a little longer-" his breathing is heavy in the message you just listened to. You feel bad pestering him, but now you can hear his voice it just makes you miss him even more.
"I'll be back by the morning- please hold on."
After finding higher ground to take a breather, he opens his phone to see you video calling him. He has to answer. Any second he can spare you, he gives you.
"Baby, hey," he gives you a soft smile, seeing you lying on the bed, all comfy and cosy.
"Megumi!!" Your face lights up, seeing him mid-action, all sweaty with his hair messier than usual.
"Miss you, bunny," he pays attention to you, but his eyes are still scanning around, making sure everything is safe and under control.
"Megumi... I miss you so much." You make an unbearably sad face. "Feel so lonely."
Oh how his heart sinks, hearing those words. That's the last thing he wants his bunny to feel.
He thinks, seeing the curses start to pile up again.
"Baby, it's ok. Just- just hold tight, let me fix this, ok?"
He brings up his contact list, making a quick decision to call somebody to check up on you.
He hovers over the image of his white haired senior. The one useful thing about that blindfolded idiot is that he can be anywhere, anytime. He'd be there in a flash, but can he trust him with his bunny? He knows what Gojo can be like with sweet girls like you.
He keeps scrolling, finding his best friend's name. One look at that warm smile in his icon and he's tapping the call button.
"Yuji, hi, yeah, I need to ask a favour..." he fills him in quickly.
"Just visit her?"
"Yeah, please, go to our apartment. She just needs some company, ok?"
"Sure!"
"Oh and Yuji, she's... in heat, so she might be a little, uh, you know-"
His heart skips a beat.
"Y-you really want me... to go to her, when she's feeling like that?"
There's a pause on the other end, followed by a very definite, "Yes."
"A-and if she, if she needs-"
"Yuji, I trust you. If you feel comfortable, do whatever she asks. I just want her to be happy, ok?"
"Okay."
Yuji is almost trembling with excitement. The last time he saw you in heat you could barely keep your hands to yourself, and you were so affectionate and snuggly it made Yuji's heart melt, thinking how much he'd love to have a cute bunny girl like you, and how his friend is so lucky.
So he darts to your apartment and taps on the door.
"Yuuuujiii!!!"
"Aww, hey!!!" He greets you, returning your excitement ten fold, squeezing you in a tight hug and lifting you up off your feet.
You had no idea this is what Megumi meant. You're so overjoyed, in his best friends arms, with his face pressing into your neck. You feel so happy and relaxed now he's here.
"It's okay, bunny, Megumi sent me to keep you company."
You feel his cute nose nuzzle into your neck and oh he feels so warm.
"Thanks so much, Yuji.." he sets you down but you just keep holding on to his big hands, "was so lonely."
"I'm here now, don't worry!!" He gives you a big smile and ushers you into the warmth of your living room to get all cosy again. You get some food and curl up on the sofa together, feeling content with your head resting on his lap. His fingers stroke gently behind your ears and over your neck, making your nose twitch happily.
"So cute." Yuji murmurs, watching you start to doze off in his arms. Overcome with the warm feeling of your body, he's soon to follow.
But when he wakes, you're looking a little... different. You're sitting on his lap now, facing him, with such a hazy look in your eyes. It could just be sleepiness, but Yuji cottons on pretty quickly that that isn't the case.
Your snuggling soon turns into grinding, which gets his blood pumping embarrassingly quickly. You get startled, feeling him pressing into you so firmly.
"Bunny..." he's getting hot now, feeling your body squirming over him.
"Bunny, wait- slow down," he coos and strokes your back.
But it's already too late. The feeling of his erection between your legs is igniting that heat deep in your core. You feel a little embarrassed and shy, but you can't stop humping him.
"C-can't-" you sniffle, needing to feel relief so badly it almost hurts.
"Oh, oh bunny, it's okay, shh." He pats your head lovingly and squeezes your body to his.
"Megumi told me... you're in heat. Is that right?"
You feel a blush covering your cheeks as you nod, but you still can't control the way your hips are moving.
"He said... it's okay if I help you. Would you like that?"
Your whole body heats up, hearing his warm words in your ear.
"Yuuu... Yuuuji-" if bunnies could purr, he's pretty sure this is what they'd sound like.
"Do you want me to, bunny?"
When you get aroused like this, you're not very good with your words anymore.
So you get up off his lap and turn around, presenting yourself to him. Your little bunny instincts take over and that's all you know how to do.
And Yuji is nearly lost for words, too, seeing your cute tail and the wet patch on your panties where your skirt is hiked up.
"Y-you want me.. in there?"
You nod gingerly and he tugs at your tail, ever so gently, pulling you back and pressing his thumb over your ass.
"You wanna come sit on my cock?" He offers, tugging your panties aside with a moan, seeing how you drip for him.
"On here, sweetie" he pulls his erection out, lining himself up and stretching you open.
You feel the spread of his tip; it's so fat and wide he could satisfy you with that alone.
But he pulls you down with a groan, "Bunnnyy... oh you're a tight girl, aren't you?"
You cry and whimper, the deep ache finally being satiated, slowly, lovingly. And although Yuji isn't your owner, your body starts to relax as he makes you feel perfectly comfortable on his cock.
"That's it, baby bunny- don't be shy, please," he coos and pulls your body closer, pressing kisses to the back of your neck in his embrace.
He fucks away your embarrassment of being in such incredible need, with that fiery heat inside you. But it starts melting away, dripping down his cock until you feel him start to pulse and throb inside you.
"Let- let me cum on your ass, please- or, fuck, your thighs- anywhere- need to pull out- bunny"
"No! No, Yuji! You can't!! Please!" You squeak.
"T-tell me where you want it- 'm fucking close, please, bunny-"
"Need it inside." You whimper, turning to him to see that gorgeous, pleasured look on his face as he gets his first orgasm.
You go to stand up to let him rest, but his hands grab onto your waist and he keeps you seated on his length.
"You wanna go again?"
He feels you clenching on him already with that surprised look on your face.
"Haha, oh bunny, I can fuck you all night, till your owner gets home. Is that okay?"
He knows that bunny girls have certain... natural instincts; they need to be filled, not only with a nice fat dick, but also lots of cum. He just wants to make you happy.
You almost start crying from pure joy- it's so overwhelming that someone is able to take care of you so perfectly right now.
So you let him take you all night, pressing you into the floor, letting him kiss your pretty lips, then pulling your legs up and pushing your knees right to the carpet. Then finally he takes you to bed and spoon fucks you till you get sleepy. He watches your pretty eyelashes flutter closed and he's finally satisfied that he's done his job. He would never let Megumi down.
And as the thought of him crosses his mind, he hears the front door crack open and footsteps entering the apartment. It's not quite dawn yet, but he's back, and he steps into the bedroom to find Yuji under the covers with his pretty bunny.
"She- ah, finally fell asleep," Yuji whispers.
"With you still inside?"
Yuji bites his lip, nodding almost shamefully.
"Thanks, Yuji."
Megumi is just so relieved. His baby bunny is happy and full of cock, just like she needs to be. And when you wake up you'll have both of them, and they can help you through your heat together.
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yuji | megumi | m.list | pt.two
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emotionaldamages · 6 months
Text
multi-tasker- charles leclerc
charles leclerc x mclaren admin!actress!reader
masterlist
y/n l/n
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 874,837
y/n l/n when I'm forced to hangout with my mclarens boy
comments
username lando and oscar are basically her child and ig charles is there father
username landos smile
username Oscar's smile🥰
username MCLAREN ADMIN
oscarpiastri you did this for what?
username we need more red carpet looks
username love that y/n is an actress and mclarens admin
landonorris thank god this wasnt on mclaren acc
username gold digger
username she makes more money than all of them combined
username shes using them for fame
username shes literally mclarens admin...
username may I add on.. an actress...
username pause- you telling me this acc is charles gf? charles gf is admin? for mclaren?
username girl it's been know for like more than a month
y/n l/n
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y/n l/n my love and my child got pole 1-2 (oscar disappeared with his gf🤭)
view 3,637 comments
username this is so cute
username can we talk about the emoji🤨
username um oscar?honey?
username yall need a dog?
username beautiful breathtaking hot angelic gorgeous pretty cute adorable alluring elegant lovely
username somebody sedate me
username AHSSJDJSKSKS
landonorris that sleeping photo was not necessary
charles_leclerc mon amour
logansargeant where's my charger y/n? i know you have it
y/n l/n I go to ur house one time, and I get accused.. over a charger
username SHDJEJ IM ACTUALLY GOING FERAL
username this so cute. now post on mclaren now.
y/n l/n aggressive much
mclaren
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liked by y/n l/n, landonorris, and 343,263
mclaren papayas twin
view 738 comments
username FINALLY SOME OSC AND LAN CONTENT
landonorris if you post one more picture of me sleeping y/n
username I'm not breathing okay. oscar is just
username yall
y/n l/n these photo are amazing wonder who took them🤧
username what a beautiful day to be alive
username lando is the next world champion
username i'm obsessed with them
landonorris why would you do this
mclaren why not
landonorris WHY WOULD U
mclaren WHY NOT
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y/n l/n
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen, and 8,876,833
y/nleclerc I'm a multi tasker
view 50873 comments
username what the actual fuck
username IAYEHXJWBWB
username the fuck
username MOTHER IS A MOTHER
carlossainz55 brother has game
username THEY ARE MARRIED?!?!
username um.. ok.. so
landonorris I have another sibling🤧
lilymhe charles she still mine
charles_leclerc did you put a ring in it
alex_albon he got you there babe
lilymhe no but I put the baby in her
charles_leclerc hm she was yelling my name not yours
username oh-
y/nleclerc STOP
username yall are paying for my therapy
oscarpiastri I'm suprised lando didnt spoil it
username I need my inhaler
username WHAT
username mother is mothering
username that should be me
danielriccardo mini f1 driver
lewishamilton roscoe is excited!
username oh my gee
username speechless
logansargeant mamma mia
maxverstappen p wants to be the first to meet the baby
mclaren
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mclaren The mini driver, Adelina Leclerc L/N has arrived! Big congratulations to y/n and charles! (she'll be back guys, shes spending her time with her little one!)
*comments have been disabled*
y/nleclerc
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liked by landonorris, pierregasly, and 10,125,564
y/nleclerc baby adelina is well loved❤
view 24,872 comments
lewishamilton roscoe misses his best friend 🤍
username tearing up ngl
kimkardashian a cute baby!
camilamendes I miss lina
username I need a baby now
pierregasly she bit my finger
vanessamorgan playdate soon
username I'm too young. I'm too young.
username I live for dad charles
taylorswift shes def going on tour with me!!
username shes so cuteee
landonorris I'm the godfather guys🤫
username all these celebrities in the comments
badgirlriri we need a playdate soon
charles_leclerc
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liked by y/nleclerc, danielriccardo, and 2,988,134
charles_leclerc our baby is a year old❤
view comments
landonorris shes growing up too fast💔
pierregasly I need more time with her
danielriccardo I'll teach her to walk
ivancornejoo shes grown up so fast, bring her to on set next time
oscarpiastri bring her for a drive!
alex_albon lily wants to babysit
maxverstappen p wants a playdate
*comments are limited*
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revkooks · 6 months
Text
“only bought this dress so you could take it off.” — jeon jungkook.
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pairing: jungkook x female reader
genre: boyfriend!au, fluff, smut
warnings: pwp, it’s just pure smut i’m sorry, slightly insecure reader but she’s still a bad bitch, pussy eating, rough sex, dom jk, verrry subby reader, jk is aggressive in bed but it’s out of love, implied aftercare, unprotected sex, pet names, size difference, creampies, jk loves reader so much and constantly reassures her
word count: 2.7k
Dating somebody you considered to be out of your league wasn’t as easy as you thought it’d be, and although he was always there to reassure you, you still allowed those thoughts to consume you every so often.
You were more than grateful to have Jungkook, he knows how to comfort you and make you feel like the prettiest girl in the world, so why do you constantly let your insecurities get to you? Like now, you were currently trying on a new dress you’d bought after spending the day shopping for yourself. Your boyfriend’s been at work all day and you wanted to surprise him, yet it seems you’re having trouble doing so.
You let out a frustrated sigh, checking yourself out in the mirror with a visible frown on your face. You were far from ugly, in fact, you always receive compliments from strangers solely based on your appearance or how much of a perfect couple you and Jungkook make. They still had a hard time convincing you that he wasn’t out of your league though, he’s genuinely the hottest man you’ve ever laid your eyes on and you still can’t fathom the fact that you actually bagged him.
Your cheeks began to heat up just from thinking about him until you snapped out of your thoughts and checked the clock on your wall, your boyfriend was about to be home any minute now and you still felt unsatisfied with how you looked, even contemplating taking it off and disregarding the whole idea of surprising him completely.
But you thought about Jungkook, you knew he wouldn’t want that, you knew he’d kiss and worship your body the minute he walks through that door and your insecurities would go flying through the window. You didn’t dwell on it too much to suppress impulsively changing your mind, quickly applying your lip gloss to finish off your makeup look before making your way downstairs, cautious with your steps as you were wearing heels.
You situate yourself on the couch, occasionally fixing your hair or your posture as you wait patiently for him to arrive, and when he eventually does, you couldn’t help but feel a wave of anxiety take over you just by hearing that front door open.
It takes him a second to fully notice what you’re wearing as he’s already rambling about how exhausted he is from work and you’re relatively far away, though as he approaches you closer, he stops in his tracks and curses beneath his breath, loosening his tie slightly.
“Hi,” you mutter out gently, avoiding eye contact with him to resist seeing his reaction. “Hi?” Jungkook questions with a breathless chuckle, sitting beside you and causing the couch to dip from the added weight, licking his lips slowly and leaning closer into you, “Shit, baby, this all for me? How come you’re all dressed up, huh?” He whispers out, you glance at him and you can already tell he’s lusting upon you from his gaze, effortlessly making you feel small.
“I jus’ wanted to surprise you ‘cause you know, you’re always busy with work and stuff… you deserve something from me but I’m not gonna lie, I don’t know if I’m confident enough for this,” you mumble the last part, fumbling with the hem of your dress and unnoticeably pulling it down a little, doing anything to avoid Jungkook’s gaze until he stops you and cups your chin, now forcing you to look at him as he lifts your head up, pulling you into an unexpected kiss until he quickly backs away again.
“Y/N”, Jungkook rasps out, “You’re so fucking beautiful, the most stunning girl I’ve ever met. You don’t even have to do anything and you’ll have me on your knees for you, look…” he finishes before gently grabbing your hand and placing it atop his prominent bulge, you almost drool at the lewdness of his actions and feeling how hard he was underneath you. You caused that. “You got nothing to be insecure about, my girl, you’re a goddess and I’m gonna treat you like one right now. Will you let me?”
You nod vigorously while looking at him with pleading eyes, his words having an embarrassing effect on you as slick uncontrollably drips down your thighs. Jungkook takes it in his own will to lift you up and carry you upstairs to your shared bedroom, impatiently kicking the door open and shut before dropping you on the bed and instantly hovering above you, capturing your lips with his own once more.
Jungkook brushes his knee against your thigh before using it to separate both of them, wedging himself between your legs as he takes control of the kiss and eagerly meshes his lips with yours, practically smothering you with his mouth as you try to keep up by returning each and every rough, messy kiss, whining quietly once you feel him press himself against your clothed heat.
“Fuck,” he groans out as he pulls back, “you’re so fucking cute, you know that?” Jungkook curses, pressing open mouthed kisses against your jaw instead, traveling them further down to your neck and eventually collarbone as he leaves marks across every inch of your empty skin. Your body responds to every touch of his, weakly submitting to him and allowing him to paint you as his own, you couldn’t help but release needy whimpers and that only had Jungkook’s arousal growing.
He sits upright and unexpectedly tears the entire dress off your body, earning a surprised gasp out of you, “Kook!” you exclaimed to which he arched an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, examining your naked body from above with a smug smirk, “What? ‘s why you bought it, right? For me to rip it off your body and fuck you afterwards?”
“Y-Yeah…” you trail off, gripping the bedsheets with force while watching him observantly as he continues plastering his wet kisses against your skin, only now he was coming dangerously close to your pussy that was still clothed, making you shiver in anticipation. “Want a taste of you first, sweetheart. You look too cute for me to not eat your little pussy tonight,” Jungkook mutters out as he coyly gazes up at you, you instinctively buck your hips closer towards his face but he has other plans, continuing to tease you by kissing along your inner thighs purely to hear those sweet, desperate moans of yours.
Jungkook takes his time with you until he eventually gives in and shoves your flimsy panties aside, you almost wanna cry out of embarrassment and bare your face into the pillows but he immediately shuts you out of your thoughts by diving in and licking a bold stripe across your clit, teasing it with the tip of his tongue as he laps it over the sensitive bud over and over again. Your breathing becomes uneven, pants and moans continuously slipping past your lips, the only words managing to leave them being his name and random curses.
“Kook, you… that feels so good, please, don’t stop,” you desperately whine out, he obliges and his pace never once wavers as his mouth envelops your entire cunt, tongue dipping between your wet folds and licking up any slick that dripped between, occasionally nudging his nose against your clit each time he bucked his head back up. He tests the waters and eagerly dips his tongue into your hole instead, your lips part and you involuntarily reach down to hold a tight grip to his head, curling your fingers through his perfect locks and pushing his head further into your cunt.
You can tell he likes this as he releases a deep groan, leaning into your touch before pulling his tongue back out and using it to continue lapping up any essence you produced, wrapping his lips around your clit and slightly hollowing his cheeks as he sucks harshly, shaking his head while doing so. You weren’t even sure how to react, you could already feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes out of pleasure and your orgasm was bubbling inside you, ready to release at any second.
Jungkook worked his tongue on your pussy perfectly, you were embarrassed by how quickly he had you crying underneath him just from his mouth, you know you’ll never get used to how skilled in bed he was but you weren’t complaining. “Cum on my face, sweetheart,” he briefly pulls back to moan out, diving back in and vigorously sucking on your clit, tongue swirling around the parts he could reach in order to pleasure as much of your pussy as possible.
His words were enough to have you unraveling before him, gripping his hair tightly as you release a particularly louder moan and embarrassingly squirt, juices landing on different parts of his face to which he drew back and cleaned up with his tongue, sighing out blissfully. “Best meal I’ve had in a while,” Jungkook teases with a cocky smirk, his hair all messy and lips swollen. your thighs were shaking and you hadn’t had enough time to come down from your intense orgasm before he was back hovering above you, cupping your cheek and kissing you again. You could taste yourself on his tongue and the thought made you whimper.
“I need you,” you shyly whispered out between kisses, he lifted his head back up to peer down at you, already fumbling with his belt and tearing the loose thing off. “Need me where, sweetheart?” You sigh in frustration at his teasing, trying not to focus too much on him tugging his pants and boxers down and presenting you with the sight of his hard cock in all its glory, instead looking at his face, biting your lip nervously. “Inside… inside me, please,” you say as you spread your legs apart a little further, showing yourself off to him.
You don’t know what it is about him but everything to do with Jungkook makes you feel shy and submissive, especially now with him on top of you, cock noticeably poking your thighs. He rasps out a triumphant chuckle and takes his cock in his hand, positioning the tip against your core before sliding it between your folds, teasingly slapping it against your clit. “Yeah? Need me in that tight pussy, princess?” He coos and slightly bucks his hips back and forth, you could feel yourself begin to tear up again, this time out of frustration and not pleasure. “Yes! Please, please, fuck me, Koo… oh.” You were unable to finish your sentence as he cuts you off and rudely shoves his fat cock into your pussy in one go, earning a loud moan from you and causing you to throw your head back against the pillow beneath you.
Jungkook’s already pounding you at a reckless pace, your hands come up to grab onto his thighs for support, digging your fingernails into his skin which causes him to hiss in pleasure and deliberately fuck into you harder, earning a plethora of continuous whines and desperate whimpers from you. “Feels so good, Kook, keep going… please, don’t stop,” you shakily moan out, shuddering each time he sloppily thrusts into you, your slick effortlessly coating his cock and creating a wetter slide after every stroke, creating a mess below you both.
His loud groans almost mask your lewd noises, echoing throughout the room loudly, the sound of the bed creaking and repetitively hitting the wall only increasing with how much he managed to increase his pace, bringing a hand up to your throat and securely wrapping his fingers around it. He gives it a light squeeze as he maintains his brutality on your cunt, plowing your wet pussy with all the stamina he had, sweat dripping from his forehead profusely as he clenches his jaw and curses beneath his breath, “Never letting you go, Y/N. You hear me? This pussy is mine, all mine, all it knows is my cock and it’ll stay that way forever.”
“Yours,” you submitted to him immediately, your reply coming out slightly faster than intended but you couldn’t help it, he was fucking you amazingly. His cock continuously punched in and out of your walls and his tip managed to reach your cervix on every inwards stroke, you gasped and tried to mutter something out but with his grip on your neck it was almost impossible. He listened to your prayers and removed his hand, resting it beside your head instead while the other hooks around your leg and lifts it up in the air, allowing his cock to enter you further.
“So fuckin’ tight and wet, love your pussy so much,” Jungkook slurs out and throws his head back in pleasure, a loud groan ripping from his throat as his cock twitches inside you, already pulsing in pleasure. You feel every vein and movement inside you and it has you drooling again, loosely dangling both of your legs around his waist, welcoming him in deeper.
Jungkook gazes back down at you with hooded eyes, you stare up at him coyly and try to maintain the eye contact though it’s difficult with how good he’s making you feel, you almost scrunch your eyes in pleasure, your mouth falling into an ‘o’ shape as moans slip past your lips nonstop. Your pussy clenches around him and that has him going wild, driving his cock into you forcefully and stretching you out with how thick he was, you tried to accommodate him, your cunt never fully getting used to his size.
“I-I love you, Kook,” you suddenly mumbled out, his dark expression turned soft for a second as he gradually slowed his pace, thrusts still remaining hard and deep, “I love you more, Y/N,” Jungkook breathes out with a less of a struggle than you, his sentences coming out almost perfect despite how much he was panting. He holds your leg for support and proceeds with his reckless pace from before, balls beginning to slap against your taint in tandem with his thrusts, your bodies colliding wildly. “Gonna cum, shit,” he says through slightly gritted teeth, focusing on nothing but solely you.
Jungkook reaches into the gap between you both and begins rubbing at your clit with two fingers furiously, you convulse and shake beneath him and your moans increase in volume with the added pleasure, his cock penetrating your walls and digits toying with your clit simultaneously. It was all too much for you… “Me too, ‘m cumming…”
“Let’s cum together,” Jungkook suggests between heavy breaths and continues stimulating your clit while rocking his hips into yours, grunting huskily with each time you’d tighten around him, only encouraging him to maintain his rough pace on your cunt. You noticed him shuddering until he eventually came to an abrupt stop, burying himself inside of you and painting your walls white with his cum, a prolonged moan leaving his lips as he does. The mere sight of him has your own orgasm hitting you like a truck, coming undone for the second time below him. You didn’t squirt but you still came just as hard as you did when he ate you out, but now you were completely worn out and too tired for anything else, it seemed like he was, too.
Jungkook collapsed on top of you, giving himself a minute before pulling out of you after his cock softened and he managed to collect himself. He instantly wraps an arm around you and tugs you into his warm embrace, attacking your face in kisses which made you giggle softly. “You mean so much to me, Y/N. You’re my everything and you always will be, you know that, right?” Your boyfriend suddenly says, you blush unwillingly and nod your head, resting against him tiredly. “I know… you are too,” you say through an exhausted hum.
He smiles lovingly, watching as you doze off. He nudges you gently and urges you to get up, “We gotta clean this mess up. Let’s go shower, hm?” Jungkook asks, you groan but you knew he was right. You allowed him to take you both out of the bedroom and to your bathroom, you both ended your night cuddled up together in bed, watching movies until you fell asleep.
You knew you didn’t have to worry about anything anymore as long as you had Jungkook by your side, and buying that dress was most definitely not a mistake… and it will be happening again.
2K notes · View notes
finelinevogue · 6 months
Text
spreading the love
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summary - harry’s fans LOVE you
pairing - fiancé!harry x reader
word count - ~2k
The fans absolutely loved you.
Probably more so than Harry sometimes.
You were often the subject headline of news articles that were actually about Harry. You were often asked about in interviews that Harry was doing. You were often stopped before Harry on the streets. Not that Harry minded in the slightest because, well, he understood.
Obviously, no one could love you more than he did but he understood the publics addiction towards you.
You hadn’t come from much and you weren’t a name people knew before you started dating Harry. Somehow, somewhere, along the way you had become a somebody.
And everyone adored you.
Whether it was your kind nature, you loving heart, your gorgeous smile or your generous soul, you never went unloved by anyone. Not even the cruelest hearted person could have anything bad to say about you.
You loved being involved with the fans too. You often gave a lot back to them just because they were the most dedicated and loyal people you knew.
You loved how much they loved your Harry.
“Hello, hello!” You tucked your hair behind your ear as you started your Instagram live.
Your viewers shot up from 3k to 104k in ten seconds - that’s how popular you had become with the fans and media.
“How are we all today? Feeling good? I’m feeling good since it’s a Friday. It’s my weekend off tomorrow.”
Everyone knew that you were an NHS nurse and did so much for the people you worked with and beside, which only added to the cause of people loving you.
ellaking107: what are you doing with your weekend off?💛
“Hi Ella! This weekend I am staying home with Harry. We have got a very boring weekend planned unfortunately. Our bathroom is having a redecoration and so we need to wait for the tile man to pop in at some point so he can start measuring up bits and pieces. I’m sure H will drag me for a run or to a pilates class too.”
You were situated in your lounge, lots of plants and good lighting surrounding you.
harryissmiling101: Where is Harry?
“Ummm, so Harry is currently at his mum’s. Maybe this is too much information, but his mum’s fridge broke and so all her food went off. Harry and I made loads of dishes though last night for her, so Harry’s dropped them all off along with a spare fridge we had. I know… Don’t ask why we had a spare fridge.”
You watched as you cat, Kira, came through the lounge door and hopped up onto the sofa you were sat on. You turned the camera so everyone could see her.
“My child says hello to you all. Don’t you Ki?” You began stroking her little black and white chin. “Oh you’re so gorgeous. I love you so much.”
haileyjudd: Harry or Kira?
“Hailey I can’t believe you’re even asking me that… Hailey said, choose between Harry and Kira. Honey, there’s no doubt about it. Obviously, Kira.” You laughed.
You knew some magazine would twist your words later and make it seem like you and Harry were going through a rocky patch in your relationship, but you knew the truth. Harry was completely whipped for you and there wasn’t a single chance he was leaving you. Ever. Then again, the feeling is very mutual.
Kira came closer to you and sat in your lap, nestling herself deep into the blanket you had draped over the top of you.
jammiiie: Are you single please?
“Hi Jamie, potentially.. maybe… Uh, no. I am not single and this will remain my answer indefinitely.” You smiled, thinking about how clingy Harry would get if you had read that out whilst he was say next to you.
Harry doesn’t get jealous, oh no.
He gets clingy. And you love it.
You love when he’s constantly doting on you; kissing you. He loved on you like he has to remind you your his (even though you always will be).
harriesassemble: Y/N can I ask you a question? My boyfriend told me that I have to shave (you know where) but I don’t feel comfortable doing that. How do I tell him? (Don’t answer if you feel uncomfortable)🤍
“Wait.. Hang on a second..” You spoke slowly, slowing the speed of the comments as you traced back to a comment that caught your attention.
“Hi, sorry I’m not sure what your name is, but I hope you are still here and know I’m speaking to you!“ You re-read out loud the comment posted so everyone knew what you were going to talk about. “So, first of all, girl to girl, if he is forcing you to do something as personal as shaving yourself then, my love, he’s not worth your time or breath.”
ophelialover: oh i am so here for y/n’s girl talk time
harrielover: y/n is so big sister coded
“Don’t do anything that you don’t want to do. Do not force yourself to be making changes to yourself just to please a man, or any significant other for that matter. If Harry ever forced me to make a change to myself I didn’t want, he knows where the door is. Seriously, honey, you’re perfect and never change unless you want to.”
harriesassemble: Thank you!🩷
kingsofharry: You’re amazinf Y/N <33
justkeepdriving: WE LOVE YOU Y/N
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liked by y/nl/nofficial and 1,976 others
harriesassemble i can’t believe y/n just followed me i am in shock right now :((( she’s my favourite person in the whole world and everything they said to me this evening was just so special:(( im shaking so bad i love y/n so much❤️
view all 394 comments
harryfan1 OH THIS IS SO COOL
harryfan2 omg you were who y/n was talking to??? congrats!!!!!
y/nl/nofficial You’re amazing!💛
harryfan3 we stan y/n
••••••••••
London was quite busy today.
Lots of tourists bustling through the city as well as the daily commuters wandering around on their lunch breaks.
Harry had decided to take the afternoon off since you also had it off, organising to take you for a bite to eat and a coffee at your favourite cafe.
It was a cafe bookstore, so you got to browse books whilst waiting for your food and then got to sit amongst the books whilst you ate. It was a dream fantasy of yours as a child and you’re grateful someone brought that fantasy to life.
Harry held your hand securely as you wandered through the London streets.
Luckily Harry had secured a paparazzi ban years ago that meant that no paps were legally allowed to take photos of Harry in London, so it was just fan photos that you had to be aware of.
“Angela asked me to give her your number again today.” You said to Harry.
“She’s relentless.” Harry laughed.
“She just wants to know when her future grandson-in law is going to become her in-law.”
“Baby, I’ve told you before - I’m not asking until I’m ready.” He squeezed your hand.
“No, I know. I just want Nana Angela to be alive when we get married.”
“She will be. I promise.”
You both came to a stop at a red pedestrian light. Harry pulled you back slightly, because he knew that you liked to stand far too close to the edge of the pavement.
You looked up to Harry, watching as he took in his surroundings through a pair of brown sunglasses.
“C’mere a minute.” You said, directing his head to face you.
You reached up and unclipped your claw clip from his hair and ruffled the locks until he had a messy middle parting. You bit the clip between your teeth as you messed with his hair.
“What was wrong with m’hair?” He chuckled.
“Prefer it down like this.” You shrugged your shoulders and clipped the claw clip to the top of your jumper.
You smiled at your handy work.
He looked even more handsome now.
As you crossed the road, you spotted someone with a Love on Tour tote bag. It was one of the newest ones. It was being carried by a girl in her early 20s, maybe.
You poked Harry and pointed him towards the girl.
“She had good taste in music.” He joked.
You didn’t mean to follow this girl, but only happened to stop at another pedestrian red light next to her. You stood beside her and noticed she had headphones on.
You couldn’t help yourself from nudging her shoulder. As you prodded her, she gasped and cupped a hand over her mouth in shock. She quickly took off her headphones and giggled a hi out.
“Love the tote bag!” You smiled brightly.
“Ha ha thank you! Oh my God I can’t believe you’re actually here right now.” She laughed.
“Yup. Both of us.” You pulled Harry a little closer into you.
“Hi, you alright?” He spoke shyly, as ever when he is introduced to someone new.
“This isn’t real! Holy shit.” The girl laughed the situation off. “I was nearly not going to wear this tote bag today as well.”
“Well it must be a good luck charm then.” You laughed. “Which show did you go to?”
“Wembley night 4.”
“Ahh!! The best one then!” You exclaimed, Harry chuckling from behind you.
You always did this.
You managed to make friends with absolutely anybody on the streets, over the smallest of connections. You especially loved making friends with Harry’s fans.
“Well I think so, but I might be biased.” She shrugged.
“It was one of our favourite shows, wasn’t it H?” You nudged him into the conversation, knowing that he struggles with that.
“Yeah definitely. Wembley was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.” He nodded with a smile, looking at you more so than the girl. “I’m glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the support, it means a lot.”
You internally smiled at the small spiel that you had prepped with him for occasions where he might bump into a fan.
“What was your favourite part?” You asked curiously.
“Sign of The Times in the rain.”
“Oh stop! You’re going to make me force Harry into to going on another tour ASAP just to experience that again.”
“Oh, because of course I can control the rain too love.” Harry laughed, which made you both chuckle with him.
“Shut up.” You judged him in the ribs. “Well it was lovely to meet you…”
“Emma.”
“Emma.” You smiled.
“Thank you for your continued support, Emma.” Harry added. “Would you like a photo?”
“Uh.. Y-yes? Yes please! If that’s okay with you?” Emma politely checked.
“Of course. Just as long as you wait a little bit to post it so our location isn’t instantly publicised.”
“Yes. Of course! Thank you.”
“Here, honey, give me your phone.” You held out your hand, thinking that she would have wanted you to take a photo of just her and Harry.
“You have to be in it too, Y/N!” Emma exclaimed.
“Yeah, Y/N/N.” Harry rolled his eyes at your silliness. “C’mere.” Harry roped his arm around your waist and brought you to stand slightly in front of him. Emma was directly next to you and you all smiled as she lifted her arm to take a selfie. Harry’s cheek was pressed near against yours.
“They okay?” Harry asked.
“Perfect. Thank you guys so much.” Emma smiled so brightly.
After you parted ways you couldn’t help but imagine how electric Emma must be feeling right now. Harry seemed to be happy too, because you were happy after such a heartwarming conversation.
Positive interactions just made for better days.
Later, Emma would post that photo and the comments were even more wholesome.
comment 1: the way y/n and harry are stood so close to each other
comment 2: the fact harry has his literal cheek pressed against y/ns makes me WEEP
comment 3: they look so happy i will cry
•••••••
Another place where you would find wholesome content from the fans was the world of social media.
Normally, with Harry’s previous relationship’s, they would get absolutely hated on social media. There would always be something that would get dug out from someone’s past which meant they weren’t “right” for Harry. All of it was bullshit and Harry’s previous relationships had ended because he never felt “right” with anyone.
Until you.
You were now sat with Harry’s family around a small fire pit in Anne’s back garden.
Her lovely house had a beautiful garden that was perfect for dinner evening drinks and conversations. You often think about returning here with Harry and his last name one day.
“Top up, Y/N?” Anne asked, holding out the bottle red wine up to your wine glass that empty on the table.
“Oh, no thanks Anne.” You warmly smiled.
You were comfortably nestled in Harry’s lap with a blanket drawn over the two of you. Harry was nursing his own red wine with one hand, whilst the other supported your back from where you were sat sideways across his legs. Your head was nuzzled just below his chin and your hands were busy fiddling with his necklaces.
“You okay, m’love?” Harry asked you, so only you could hear.
“Mhm. Wine has made me sleepy.”
“Rest if you need to, i’m right here.” He kissed the top of your head.
You pulled your phone out of your hoodie pocket and opened it up to Twitter.
You followed a multitude of Harry’s fans on Twitter, simply for the shits and giggles. It had become a challenge to see who would be the next person that you would follow.
Scrolling through Twitter you noticed a lot of people reposting a photo of you and Harry that got leaked today. You were both simply walking through the park, but the photo clearly showed you wearing Harry’s hoodie and everyone was screaming over it.
harriesunite: these are my parents
“H, baby, look.” You giggled as you showed him the tweet.
“Hmm?” He tucked his face down into your neck as he read your phone, and leaving your neck warm after he laughed.
“You’re such a dad, apparently.”
“Not yet I’m not.” He kissed your exposed neck, but only once when he remembered he was sat in front of his mum.
“Y’want to be?” You turned your head a little to the side to see him better.
“Whenever you want to be a mum, yeah.” He smiled so brightly.
“Soon.”
“Yeah, soon.” Harry nodded in agreement.
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dilf-lover99 · 1 year
Text
And I Love Her | J.P.
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Pairing: James Potter x Female Reader
Summary: The 3 times James tries to get the girl and the 1 time he finally does. Or In which James Potter is hopelessly in love with his best friend.
Warnings: so. much. pining., idiots to lovers, miscommunication(s), a dash of angst, some heavy kissing, james potter being the literal definition of boyfriendism
Word Count: 4.8k
a/n: hi ! james potter won the poll and i am so completely okay with it. i really intended for this to be angst but he's just SO boyfriend. this may be my favorite thing i've ever written and i really hope you enjoy it too ! p.s. i missed u guys lots and i'm so grateful you've stuck around after months of crickets from me. love u love u love u<3
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(y/n).
Depending on who you asked, it was only a name. The name of a classmate, or a friend, or yourself, but only a name nonetheless.
Unless you asked James Potter.
It wasn’t only a name. Not to him. To James, it was everything.
Because it was your name.
Your name that hastened his heartbeat with every mention.
Your name that sent a salient stream of blood rushing to his cheeks, tinting them a lucent shade of scarlet.
Your name that, once mentioned, seemed to follow him everywhere, as though the wind itself would begin whispering it, rustling alongside the branches of the whomping willow tree before floating its way over to his ears, sounding sweeter than any melody he’d ever heard before.
To state it simply, James Potter was irrevocably, inconceivably, in love with you.
But saying it that way didn’t seem like enough.
He didn’t just love you with his heart, for his heart could stop beating. And he didn’t only love you with his mind, for his memories could fail him one day. James Potter loved you with the entirety of his soul, with every fibre making up his being. Of that, he was certain.
What he wasn’t certain of however, was how to bare his infatuated soul to you.
After all, how exactly does one tell his best friend he’s besotted with her?
He tried the gentle approach first. 
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The train back to Hogwarts was filling up quickly. Stories of his peers’ summer holidays flow obstreperously through the air as James’ eyes remain glued to the door of him and his friends’ usual compartment.
“Ease off it with the evil eye, Prongs. She’ll be here.” Sirius’ teasing voice breaks James away from his thoughts, which were unsurprisingly fixated on you.
He doesn’t bother denying it, well aware he’s been staring daggers at the door since he stepped foot off platform 9 ¾, anxiously awaiting your appearance after spending the entire summer holiday apart from you.
“Leave him be, Pads. He misses her.” Remus interjects kindly, not lifting his eyes from the well-worn pages of whichever book he’s decided to burrow his attention into for the ride back to Hogwarts.
“Well he can join the bloody club then, can’t he?” Sirius starts, intent on ignoring Remus’ suggestion, “I’ve just about fallen for her myself after spending my entire holiday listening to this git recite his bloody sonnets for her,” he continues with a not-so flattering mimicry of a lovesick James, “It is the east! And (y/n) is the sun. O Romeo!” He throws himself dramatically to the floor on his knees, clasping his hands above his heart.
Peter watches the spectacle with a grin, covering up his chuckle with a cough after James sends him a look of warning. Before James can defend himself against Sirius’ melodrama, the door to their compartment slides open, revealing a beautiful and slightly out of breath you.
And suddenly you’re not the only one who’s out of breath.
You’ve gotten even prettier over the summer, somehow. If somebody had asked James before, if he thought you could possibly have gotten any more beautiful, he’d’ve laughed in their face, telling them tales of how your beauty could put Aphrodite to shame. But now? Now his heart was beating so violently in his chest he was almost certain it was attempting to escape, trying to take its rightful place upon your sleeve.
“Sorry I’m late, I nearly broke my neck out there!” You stop briefly to catch your breath, the jog on your way over winding you more than you’d care to admit. “Someone ought to tell those first-years there’s enough seats on here for the lot of us. I’ve just been walloped by a bloody eleven year old! Cheeky little-” You cease your rambling amidst your confusion at the sight before you, Sirius on his knees at James’ feet.
“Have I interrupted something? Perhaps a proposal of sorts?” You jest, your amusement growing at the wide eyed look on James’ face as he scrambles to stand, coming to greet you properly with a hug that doesn’t last nearly as long as you wish it would.
“No!” He protests instantly, amidst wrapping you in the soft embrace.
“Cor, I’ve missed you.” He mumbles after pulling away, leaving a hand on your back as he gently guides you to your seat beside him, hesitant to do so, as once you’re sat he’ll no longer have an excuse to touch you.
“I missed you more!” Your enthusiasm brings him optimism, there’s a chance she means it the way you do, he thinks, there’s a chance-
“And what of me?” Sirius and his bloody interjections. James has half a mind to lock him out of the ruddy compartment and leave him to fend for himself amongst the overzealous first-years.
“I’m sorry, have we met?” You feign confusion, though not very well, James can see the brilliant smile forming leisurely upon your lips. What I would do to those lips, his thoughts are running rampant after a summer spent away from your presence, too caught up to hear the jokes you and Sirius are trading back and forth, and that laugh! His internal monologue continues, ’s like a proper bloody song. Just ask her, right now. If she says no you can play it off as a joke. It might sting a bit, but surely it’d be better than keeping it all locked away.
“Will you go to Hogsmeade with me? Just us two? We’ll have a lovely time, I swear it.”
He knows what he was hoping you’d say, something along the lines of ‘Yes, James, I’d love to!’ but he wasn’t expecting it.
He also wasn’t expecting your given response.
“That’s a wonderful idea, Jamie, thank you! D’you see that, Sirius? A helpful suggestion. You ought to try one of those sometime.” You’re back to chatting with Sirius and Remus as Peter leans over to James, whispering an explanation to his visibly confused friend.
James had caught you mid-complaint about how you’d forgotten to bring the dittany leaves you need to make the special healing chocolates you gift Remus after a particularly bad full moon. After Sirius’ not-so-helpful suggestion to try substituting them with pot leaves, you gladly welcomed the chance to pop over to Hogsmeade with James and buy some more.
You’d mistaken his date proposal for a shopping trip.
Marvellous.
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This is going to be the year that James tells you how he feels. He’ll make sure of it.
If for no other reason than this was your seventh and final year at Hogwarts together. His stomach churned at the mere idea of allowing you to slip through his fingers for good; you acting as the coarse sand to his adamant hourglass. He wouldn’t have it.
So he’d try again.
In the few weeks since you’ve returned to Hogwarts, your time’s been consumed by studying for your N.E.W.T.s. You’re also determined to acquire a spot in the internship programme at St. Mungo’s. The sheer amount of time you’ve spent there with your boys over the last few years has more than prepared you for a future as a healer if you end up enjoying the work.
“Alright, who was the first witch to extract floo powder?” James has spent the last hour and a half quizzing you on all matters Herbology, if it were anyone else he’d’ve been bored to slumber by now. But it wasn’t anyone else, it was you.
The two of you were sat outside together on a blanket, taking full advantage of the uncharacteristically sunny day. James is leaned comfortably back against a tree as you sit across from him, simultaneously taking notes and answering each of his questions without pause.
“Ignatia Wildsmith. Ravenclaw. Come ‘ead James, I’ve told you to stop going easy on me! Every seventh-year applying will know all of these.” Bloody lucky I love her so much, James thinks to himself, I thought that was a hard one.
He’d like to laugh your nerves away, crack a few jokes and tell you that you may be going a bit overboard. You’re going to get the internship, and not just because you’re brilliant and perfectly qualified, but also because your Herbology professor had written a glowing recommendation letter singing your praises.
But he can’t find it in himself to mess around when you’ve got that adorable little wrinkle between your eyebrows displaying your worry, and your lips have turned down into a delectably kissable pout. It takes nearly everything in him not to brush it away with his own lips. 
“(y/n),” He starts, wetting his lips with his tongue as he desperately attempts to keep his thoughts from overtaking his voice, “It’s going to be alright, I promise. You’re more than ready for this. Why don’t we try taking a little break?” His heart feels as though it’s leapt into his throat when you glance at him and send a delicate smile of gratitude.
“I’m sorry, Jamie. We’ve been at this for hours, you must be exhausted of me by now.” You smile, more cheerful this time as you realize a break is precisely what you need.
James can’t contain the laugh that escapes him.
Exhausted? Of you? 
The absurdity of thinking he could ever grow tired of you was an inherently laughable concept to him.
He’s nearly clutching his stomach when he finally manages to compose himself, making heart-stopping eye contact with his equally amused and puzzled best friend.
“Are you mad?” James’ dimpled smile sets a kaleidoscope of butterflies aflutter in your stomach, “I’d spend all my hours with you if I could.” He means it with every atom that makes up his being, he’s meant it for years but now he’s actually saying it to you.
Your smile grows wider with each word he speaks, your own thoughts matching the underlying sentiment of his articulation more than he could ever know.
“I-” He pauses, inhaling deeply and squeezing his eyes shut tightly in an effort to maintain his courage, “I love you.” You did it, he thinks to himself proudly, you actually bloody did it, Prongs! He exhales shakily, reinitiating eye contact with you as a small smile begins to blossom on his tender lips.
“James,” Your voice holds an underlying tone of sadness that causes an adorable crinkle of confusion to settle between James’ eyebrows, “I love you too.” You smile tightly, almost as though it’s causing you discomfort to do so.
“You do?” James is more perplexed now than he had been when you’d explained to him in painstaking detail the intricate relationships between each member of Fleetwood Mac the first time the two of you listened to Rumours together.
“Of course I do,” Your smile stretches intimately, the somber quality of your voice never wavering, “You’re my best mate, after all.”
Best mate? James thinks, is that really all she sees?
Had he not been so caught up in his own racing thoughts, he may have picked up on yours. He may have realized that his situation was holding a gargantuan mirror up to your own, casting a perfect reflection of the feelings within.
Best mates, you internally chastise yourself, that’s all he sees.
A proper bloody mirror.
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“It was completely humiliating, Pads. She might as well’ve called me her bloody brother.” James has been yammering on about what happened that day for the past three weeks. Three weeks. Sirius is going positively mad, somehow having become James’ sounding board to rehash his complaints every time he remembers the encounter.
“I mean, how am I supposed to tell the girl I’d like to spend the rest of my life with her now?” James is pacing back and forth agitatedly at the foot of Sirius’ bed, as the aforementioned boy lays back uninterestedly, wishing his duvet would come to life and swallow him whole in an effort to escape the worlds most redundant conversation.
“She’d probably tell you that sounds lovely. Make you her future child’s godparent.” Sirius jokes dryly.
James abandons his invisible footpath, a wave of panic comically widening his warm hazel eyes substantially.
“She what?”
“For Merlin’s sake, Prongs! I can’t take any more of this,” Sirius sits up agitatedly, now far beyond his capacity for James’ lovesick commentaries, “Just go tell her. Right now.”
“Are you mad? Have you not just heard everything I’ve said?” James would normally find humour in Sirius’ lackadaisical attitude, but confessing his feelings for you was an entirely serious matter with no margin for error.
“Oh I’ve heard it, Prongs. For the past three weeks. And the entire bloody summer. And every single year before that.” He moves to stand in front of James, his agitation fading into sincerity, “I know how you feel, Prongs. But does she?” James swallows thickly as Sirius continues, “I don’t mean just telling her you love her, I mean telling her how you love her. As more than a friend. Maybe she feels the same way.”
James takes his time considering Sirius’ words. He’s tried to tell you, clearly, but he assumed that you’d only seen him as a friend. But what if you hadn’t? What if Sirius is right, and you told him you loved him as a friend because you’d assumed that’s what he’d meant when he said it?
“I’m a proper git, aren’t I?” James concludes aloud.
“Most certainly, Prongsy. It’s why I keep you around,” Sirius’ playful mood returns swiftly, “Makes me feel better about myself.” 
You’re talking softly with Remus in the library, voices low enough not to disrupt your peers but just detectable enough for James to catch your words when he finds you, internally preparing his declaration of unwavering devotion for you.
“You’re not going out with him, are you?” Remus’ hushed voice holds a curious tone.
“Of course not, Rem.” You smile softly, “Could you honestly imagine that? Him and I dating?”
James’ eyebrows furrow together in confusion, he presses himself slightly against a nearby bookshelf in an attempt to hear your conversation more clearly.
“No, I guess not,” Remus chuckles faintly, “It would certainly make things awkward if they didn’t work out. Being friends and all.” 
“No kidding.” You chuckle good-naturedly. 
James feels like a bag of cement has been poured down his throat, constricting his lungs and settling into a block of concrete in the pit of his stomach.
Sirius had been wrong. You didn’t love James as more than a friend, in fact, you’d practically laughed at the thought of it. In his hasty escape from the scene of the melancholic crime, James neglected to hear the rest of your conversation with Remus.
“He’s a lovely lad, truly,” You smile genuinely, “Any girl would be lucky to call Amos Diggory her boyfriend. We’re just better as friends is all.” You trail off, leaving out the part where your heart already belongs to another shared friend of yours and Remus’.
It’s not like it was ever going to happen anyway. Your love for James Potter was entirely unreciprocated.
Wasn’t it?
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James is avoiding you.
As painful as it is to spend each never-ending moment of spare time away from you, James can only think of how much more agonizing it would be to spend those moments with you.
To fix his loving gaze on your sparkling eyes, only to find them filled with affections one would hold only for a friend.
To accomplish the feat of bringing a luminous smile to your delicate lips, only to remember those lips would never brush tenderly against his own.
To be so close to the girl he loves, only to be denied her heart in equal measure.
It’s easier, in a sense, to push you away.
It’s only temporary, just until he can stomach the thought of spending the rest of his life as your best mate and nothing more.
But it’s been weeks, and the idea still makes his head feel like it’s underwater, like he’s fighting to reach the surface but his leg’s been caught on a viciously determined blade of seaweed.
Still, he’s convinced himself that this is his best course of action.
Unbeknownst to James, however, you’ve been going stark raving mad.
You’ve hardly spoken to him in weeks. When you think about it, you’ve barely even seen him, save for a few quick glimpses in your classes and across the dining tables in the Great Hall.
You’ve tried to talk to him, clearly something is bothering him. Maybe you’ve said or done something to upset him without realizing it. But he’d brushed you off before you could even get out the words ‘are you alright?’
You’d asked Remus, Sirius, and Peter about it, each of them giving you vague semblances of justification that fell entirely flat, a few “He’s just busy with quidditch”s and a couple of “Must be studying today”s. You’ve grown tired of the excuses and you’re determined to get to the bottom of it yourself.
You’re leaning picturesquely against the wall outside of the lad’s changing room when James finally sees you again. His curly hair is spilling droplets of water from the shower he’s just taken, successfully washing away the evidence of his quidditch practice.
You’re beautiful. That’s all he can think as he finally allows himself to take you in fully for the first time in weeks. He feels like he’s been holding his breath since he saw you last and now he can finally exhale, a sense of euphoria filling his chest as his lungs deflate mercifully.
“Hi.” You state gently, a delicate smile painted daintily across your lips.
“Hi.” James echoes once he’s relearned the inhale-exhale repetition of breathing again.
“I waited for you,” You start after a brief silence, “Which- You can see that, obviously.” You chuckle a ebullient breath that causes a small smile to form on James’ face, Merlin, I’ve missed that, he thinks as you continue. “I just, um- I thought maybe we could talk?” You’re fiddling with your fingers, a nervous habit of yours that James has long since memorized by now.
He instantly reaches for your hands, tenderly taking one in his own and carefully intertwining your fingers together with his. The action is like second nature, he hardly thinks twice about it.
You smile visibly at the act of comfort, if he’s upset with you and that’s the reason he’s been avoiding you, it makes your heart skip a beat that he’s putting it all aside to calm you down when you’re anxious.
“About what?” He tries, though you both know that’s not going to work.
“Nice,” You smile teasingly, “Want to give it a real go this time?”
James swallows something akin to a lump in his throat, averting his resplendent hazel gaze from your eyes to land somewhere along the floor as he overthinks which approach he should take.
He could try honesty. Yes, he thinks, because that would go over proper well. I’m avoiding you cause I’ve been gutted since I heard you’re not in love with me. Surely she’ll find that real mature, Prongs.
He could also try lying his arse off. And that would work, he sarcastically chastises silently, Me? Oh nothing’s wrong at all. Just tired, y’know? Practice and homework and the like. As if she’s ever believed a lie you’ve told her before.
He finally chances resuming eye contact with you, heartbeat hastening expeditiously as his hazel orbs lock onto your patently awaiting eyes. You should be looking far more frustrated, James wouldn’t blame you if you were. You have every right to be upset, and yet you’re not.
Instead, you’re you. 
You, who’s calmly awaiting a response, fingers still gently intertwined with James’. 
You, who’s looking at him with soft, sparkling eyes, eyes that are silently promising him no matter what he says, everything is going to be alright.
You, the girl he loves more than anything in the world.
“You.” He states after an implicit eternity.
“Me?” Your features mix together to create a perfectly darling display of confusion that, even despite the circumstances, causes a modest smile to tug upwards at the corners of James’ mouth.
“I’ve been avoiding you.” He conveys, sounding as though he’s just revealed to you a hidden secret you’d’ve never otherwise been able to uncover.
You can’t contain the short laugh that escapes you, a smile taking its rightful place on your face. “Yeah, ‘m not exactly Sherlock Holmes, but I managed to put that one together.”
James can’t subdue the traces of guilt that seep onto his face.
“I was hoping maybe we could talk about why. If I’ve done something to upset you-”
“No!” James cuts you off, “No, love, you haven’t done anything. Nothing you could control anyway.” His voice is less than half of its usual volume at the last sentence he utters.
Your face is back to holding that adorably confused expression that James so desperately yearns to kiss away.
“I have to admit, Jamie, I’ve got no idea what you’re on about.”
James sighs, finally releasing the hand that’s been holding comfortably on to your own and running it through his leisurely drying hair. He releases a sigh of distress and squeezes his eyes shut firmly in an attempt to figure out the best way to explain himself.
“If you’re not upset with me, then why have you been avoiding me?” You’re trying to put it together on your own as James is proving to be no help, “Wait a mo! Is this some kind of prank or something?” You smile, though you’re not entirely certain you’re correct yet, “Are you trying to get back at me for dying your knickers pink? Because that was an accident!” 
James can’t help but smile at your incorrect deduction. Merlin she’s adorable he thinks, how am I supposed to tell her now?
“Yes!” James concludes untruthfully, “You got me. Just a prank. Might’ve gone a bit too far with it though. Sorry ‘bout that, love.”
He brings you into a hug and, after going weeks without it, it feels like home.
You feel like home.
You’re hugging James, after having just gone weeks without it. And you just know. 
You have to tell him.
You have to tell him, right now, that you’re in love with him.
And so you do.
“I love you.” You state breathlessly, pulling away from the warm solace of his embrace and looking bravely into his glimmering hazel eyes.
James nods his head mechanically, as if he’s agreeing to your suggestion on what to have for dinner and not taking in the confession of eternal love you’ve just spouted.
“Yes, I love you too,” He smiles a tight, strained smile, “Mate.” He punctuates his final word by bumping his fist gently into your shoulder.
Oh, you think, I’m going to have to spell it out for him, aren’t I?
“No, James. I love you,” You take a step closer to him, not breaking eye contact despite the nerves that are jostling around your insides like a violent sea in a raging storm, taking a deep breath before exhaling somewhat expeditiously, you continue, “Like- Like, I’m in love with you.”
The first thing James feels in that moment are his eyes widening emphatically behind his round-rimmed glasses, his dark lashes making direct contact with the top of his eyelids. He’s certain he must have heard you wrong, that or he’s understood you wrong.
The second thing he feels is hope. What if he hadn’t understood you wrong?
The third thing he feels is his heart, beating faster than it ever has before, so fast he thinks it might be ready to do him in for good. Surely a heart shouldn’t be beating that fast.
“You’re in love? With me?” James speaks disbelievingly, though he’s unable to hide the traces of optimism he’s feeling as a modest smile begins to form on his face.
You nod your head assuredly, a genial smile of your own starting at the sight of his, “Yes, I’m in love with you. Madly, in fact.”
You’ve spent months, years even, deliberating on how you would tell James, if you would tell James. You’d spent countless hours wondering how he would react and what would happen after all was said and done.
You’d planned to tell him all about that. About how long you’ve felt this way, when it started and why it’s taken you so long to tell him, how you were too afraid of risking your best friend should anything have gone wrong.
What you hadn’t planned on was what happened the second you got the last word out.
James eagerly presses his plush lips onto your own, savouring the long overdue sensation of your mouth against his. He tenderly brushes your bottom lip with his tongue once he feels you respond to the kiss with equal fervour. Enthusiastically, you grant his tongue access into your mouth, pulling him closer to you by the roots of his damp hair.
James lets out a low groan at the contact, pulling you flush against his body by your waist, his hands hungrily gripping onto you for dear life as, somehow, the kiss deepens even further.
When the need for oxygen outweighs your mutual need for each others lips, you reluctantly part the slightest of distances, foreheads resting tenderly against one another.
“I’m in love you too. So bloody madly.” James whispers contentedly with a lovesick grin. 
You’re each donning smiles brighter than you can ever recall before.
The moment you’ve caught your breath you’re back at it again in full force, gripping at each others clothes and tangling nimble fingers through the other’s hair. James pulls back when your beaming smile makes it a little harder for him to kiss you, returning a smile just as wide that compels you to pull him back in for another kiss, or two, or three.
When the two of you finally feel satiated enough, James pulls back again, a noticeably farther distance. He’s still smiling but it isn’t quite as bright as it was a moment ago.
“What was all that about in the library, then? With Moony?” He asks you the question that’s been clawing at his insides for the last few weeks.
You pause, visibly confused as you shuffle through the files of your memories until you land on one a few weeks ago with Remus in the library. The two of you were discussing a friend who’d asked you on a date. You’d declined as politely as you could, valuing his friendship but knowing your heart had long since been beating for James.
“What about it?” You smile confusedly.
“Well, you were talking about me, weren’t you?” James looks down to the floor, expression now almost devoid of the happiness that had previously overtaken every inch of his face.
“What?” You laugh briefly before it registers, not just his words, but the reason he’s been avoiding you for the last few weeks.
“Wait- James!” You tilt your head into his line of vision, gently cradling his face with your hand as you turn his head to face you fully, “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? You thought.. Oh, Merlin.”
You pull him into a hug, holding him tight enough to convey just how wrong he’s been.
“I was talking about Amos Diggory.” You state with a gentle exhale, something between a laugh and a sigh, pulling back you rest your arms at your sides. “He asked me to dinner.”
James doesn’t hide the relief that courses through his body, despite the slight scoff of jealousy he lets out at your final sentence.
“But,” You wrap your arms back around him in reassurance, looking up into his eyes that are once again sparkling with happiness, “I’ve been a tad busy, being in love with my best friend and all. So I told him no. Obviously.”
“Right, obviously.” James replies with a cheeky smile that makes your heart skip a beat.
“You’re a git, you know.” You roll your eyes, the action a mixture of lovesickness and frustration. “You could’ve just asked me then. Instead of hiding in the books like a proper stalker. And then avoiding me. For weeks,” You’re smiling, but you know you’re still getting your point across, “You git.” You punctuate your final word with a gentle swat to James’ chest, smiling adoringly when he grabs that hand and brings it up to his lips, placing a tender kiss to it before dropping your intertwined hands back at your side.
“I know,” He admits apologetically, “I’m sorry.” He’s smiling breathtakingly, “Still love me?”
You can’t find it in yourself to be upset with him, because in some roundabout way, it’s what led you to this moment right now, where you can reach over and kiss him if you want to.
And you want to. 
Pulling him into you by the fabric of his shirt, you plant another kiss upon James’ lips. The passion and tenderness in the kiss meld together just as perfectly as your lips do.
“Yes.” You mumble happily when your mouths finally break apart. “Always.”
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reallyromealone · 21 days
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This isn't a request but I'm brain rotting rn about imagining Emma is once again at a toman meeting with another 'girl' and Draken of course scolds her and is like "Don't go bringing your schoolmates to a gang meeting," but it's actually reader crossdressing and Mikey's new bf
Thank you, bye bye I had to tell somebody and I thought you would like it. 🤧
Title: cross dressing
Fandom: Tokyo revengers
Pairing: Mikey x reader
Warnings: slight au, male reader, cross dressing, fluff
Notes: made some slight alterations for the sake of hahas
🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
Mikey was slightly annoyed as he heard his younger sister brought someone to a Toman meeting, the girl making friends at university and he often saw her friends when he got home from gang stuff or helping shinichiro with his shop on occasion.
What he wasn't expecting was (name) to be dressed in cute feminine clothes and a mini skirt, tucked flat-- Mikey chuckled silently to himself as he knew (name) probably regretted letting Emma get into drag racing shows. Draken scolded the girl as (name) glanced around and saw Mikey leaned back on his chair with his legs spread, slicked back blond hair showing off his tattoos as he winked before blowing out smoke from his cigarette.
(Name) And Mikey had recently begun dating, the blond initially hesitant when he learned Emma had a male friend and Draken nearly hostile at his girlfriend being so close to the cute boy but they quickly realized that (name) was not interested in Emma or any other girl.
What Draken didn't know was that Mikey immediately went on the hunt, practically popping up anywhere (name) was to flirt with him and eventually begin dating him.
So when the twenty-one year old saw his boyfriends bare thighs swished slightly by stockings and that cute skirt, (name) looked nervous at the look he gave him though... The Toman underlings who stood in position in the back garden of Toman headquarters didn't see the look as their boss being a horny bastard but instead saw it as annoyed.
To be fair, Mikey was incredibly hard to read.
"She can stay but she has to stay out of the way, we aren't responsible if she gets hurt" Draken sighed and kissed Emma's forehead as the blond girl beamed up at the tattooed man "thanks Kenny!" She said sweetly and the giant of a man grumbled but didn't say anything.
(Name) Sat with Emma quietly as they started their meeting, Emma and (name) chatting amongst themselves and working on a project, (name) explaining his half and what he was doing.
They didn't even notice the meeting end until Mikey wandered to them "oi" he said passively as (name) looked up confused and Mikey raised his hand, many members holding their breaths only for Mikey to grip (name)s neck and kiss him softly "what" Baji said confused, he was fully ready to get the cute girls number but seems Mikey got to her first.
"What's with the clothes? They look weird" he asked confused and mitsuya looked up from his laptop, working on business expenses that he will be sending to Koko later "Mikey! Don't tell a girl her clothes look weird! That's rude!"
"But (name) isn't a girl" Mikey said bluntly as he plopped beside (name) and draped himself over the other "I just made (name) wear girl clothes, he owed me a favor" Emma said sweetly "besides he looks cute! Don't judge my fashion Mikey!"
"Wait, she's a dude?" Pah said confused and (name) nodded "yeah "
"Wait why did Mikey kiss you?" Chifuyu was also confused, a group of grown ass men who ran a notorious gang and made illegal millions couldn't figure out was a relationship for the life of them.
"(Name)s my boyfriend" Mikey said bluntly, Draken connecting the dots fast.
That would explain why Mikey went to a specific apartment often.
And based on how he played with (name)s skirt...
He would be going back pretty damn soon.
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