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mandareeboo · 3 years

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SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not.

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me.

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky.

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster.

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs!

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly.

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong.

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

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moon-nymphet · 4 years

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Hcs or scenario (whatever you like!) *warning extreme angst* oikawa, kuroo and osamu with a crush. They mutually like each other but never made a move to progress anything. One day another girl comes along and the boys move onto them instead. Crush is upset but accepts it and backs off. A bit later the boys realise the new girl they’re with was just something fresh and new and they don’t actually like them. They want to go back to oh crush but they already have no feelings for them anymore 😢😢

i swear i cried real tears while writing this, i love destroying my own mental health (∪ ◡ ∪) and ahhh this took me so long to write bc i’m so freaking insecure about the quality of my writing, i’m sorry this is so bad but there u gooo ♡

♡ we could have been something ;; haikyuu

warnings: angst, rough language

kuroo

you know this type of friendship where the limits are so difuse that the rest of people beggins noticing you had a thing for each other ? that’s what kuroo and you have had for the longest time

kuroo and you spent most of your time hanging out together, you went to see him training and he always called you his girlfriend in front of his teammates just because he loved to see you all flustered, you worried so much about each other almost like a couple, and you were even starting to get along with kenma, so you knew for a fact that you were into each other, or at least that’s what you thought ??

as you two were pretty childish you used to bicker all the time, nothing serious most of the times because none of you could get away more than a day without talking to each other, and when you had this little arguments it was about silly things that didn’t matter

that continued being like that until this day kuroo started reproaching you that he was so tired of trying without a result — “you seem to fucking ignore the obvious signals i’m sending you y/n, are you playing the dumb role ??? i can’t continue like this anymore, i’m sorry but i met this girl and she showed me clearly that she wants to be with me as more than a friend” — and leaving you completely broken, he suddenly walked away from your life without a previous warning

at first you felt so guilty, it was true, you were a bit shy and insecure, but you thought he liked you just the way you were ? but then you understood well how things were in reality, your silly ass thought you two had something meaningful

sure it hurted to see him walking hand in hand with the stereotypical mean girl from highschool movies, but you know the worst part of this ?? it wasn’t her fault, it was his and only his. and that’s what broke you the most

things continued being the same for a while, and to be honest, it was a bit hard at the beggining, but when you finally realized you were just his toy, his distraction, you felt nothing but repulsion towards him

and that’s on why you rejected him so coldly when he left the girl that he “truly loved” to come back to you; yeah he did. and you knew he was regretting so hard leaving you, but you simply couldn’t trust his feelings for you anymore

“please y/n ... i acted like a horny teenager, i just knew things were gonna be easier with her and i was starting to lose hope in having something more with you, but it’s you, it’s always been you” kuroo kneeled in front of you, holding your hand to prevent you from leaving. but you couldn’t do other than looking at him with eyes full of pity, knowing from the beggining what you would say to him

“i’m sorry. i can’t. i don’t trust you anymore kuroo. it was so hard for me, you know ?? you abandoned me without a fucking sign of considerateness” as you abrutly let go of his hand and turned away, leaving him there, tears started falling from the corner of your eye, but no. you weren’t going to turn back to him, you wouldn’t do such harm to yourself

oikawa

were you aware of his reputation ?? the answer is yes, but you felt so happy when you were around him that you didn’t care in the least. “people talk when they have nothing important to do, this boy is such a sweetheart” is what you thought when tooru oikawa started paying you more attention than he did with other girls

he is every girl’s dream, a cute boy who treats you like an absolute princess. toruu took you on inifinity of dates, and you always had such a good time with him, time went by so fast when it was spent with oikawa. you saw life in pink when he picked you up with his car and stared at you, just to let out a “you look so fucking stunning today my little cutie”

at that time you didn’t really understand why you didn’t formalize things once and for all; he looked interested in you and you tried your best to let him know that you were into him too, the intimacy between you two was beggining to grow, you started doing more and more things together, everything was so idyllic it was hard to believe it was all real

but soon you saw the true colors of things, it didn’t take you that much time to learn that oikawa didn’t want to confess he really liked you because he didn’t want to lose all his fangirls.

it was such an ego-booster for tooru to know he had plenty of girls willing to do everything just for a night with him, that he had a big catalogue of girls to choose which one he wanted to have fun with

it’s not that he didn’t like you, it’s just that he wasn’t confident enough for you, and it showed when you saw him flirting with another girl in front of the high school entrance, his lips so close to hers they weren’t touching for a milimeter, leaving you in a big shock. that situation made you feel the dumbest shit ever, you knew who you were dealing with but you thought he was going to be different this time

yeah, you were the dumbest shit ever for believing that

although you waited anxiously for him to call, toruu never called you again from that day, and you couldn’t help but feel so ashamed of yourself. you knew you were fucked when you started feeling sorry for yourself, being such a desperate and ridiculous ass for some fuckboy that didn’t gave a shit about you

a good two weeks had to pass for you to start feeling better, because even if you knew you weren’t his girlfriend, you still felt betrayed. it hurt to see how you were nothing special for him, so replaceable it was even impressive

and talking about impressive, that’s how i’d call the fact that tooru had the audacity to text you after some time like nothing hapenned. “are you angry with me ???” — and the truth is that you weren’t angry, you were never angry with him, your feelings were deeply hurt but that’s all

“tooru ?? what does this means ?” after hesitating for a while if you should text him back and trying to resist the temptation, you ended up doing it

“it means please open the door my little cutie, i’m outside your house ” you couldn’t believe your eyes to what you were reading, but you went and opened the door for him to find out what all of this was about

“can i... ??” the tall setter grabbed your chin with his long and fine fingers, bringing your face closer to his. you didn’t even have time to react, oikawa didn’t finish his sentence but instead he pressed his lips against yours. you were absolutely freaking out, that leading you to break the kiss when you realized what was happening

“the fuck you think you are doing tooru oikawa ? you think you can come here after a whole ass month and act as if nothing happened ??”

“please listen to me y/n, it wasn’t my intention to hurt your feelings, i’m sorry if you felt that way. i realized i truly want to be with you” he intensely stared into your eyes with that look of his. it was so alluring you almost gave in, but that wasn’t happening

“i’m not one of that hoes you can fuck one time and never call me back, i’m not that type. you keep saying you’re sorry about me feeling that way, not about what you fucking did. i don’t like you anymore oikawa and i regret so much that i did like you some time ago. and please now i’ll have to ask you to dissapear from my life”

he looked at you for some seconds with watery eyes before leaving without saying a word, and you genuinely weren’t able to tell if he was feeling that way or he was faking it. but that’s it, your story with oikawa tooru, your first and last kiss with him

osamu

your relationship with osamu was so difficult to describe, like, really difficult. you met him some years ago when you started going to inarizaki high and you didn’t really click with each other, but you soon became a great friend of atsumu

and that obviously carries seeing osamu frequently as he’s atsumu’s twin brother and they had quite a good relationship. don’t be mistaken, it’s not that you suddenly clicked and everything was amazing between you two, no

everything remained the same, and i could even say that the tension between osamu and you grew bigger because you simply couldn’t be around the other without bickering and disagreeing on the littlest of the things, that leading to atsumu having to stop you from fighting

but who says that tension wasn’t sexual at all ?? — because if you say so you’re completely wrong. it was so luring for you when he was just as sarcastic as you were with him, or when you said you were fucking tired of his shit and he came up with a defiantly “and what are you gonna do about it, huh ???”

it could be said that you were never attracted to easy things, and that included persons. it was easy to see you hated each other in such a lustful way it could turn into love without none of you noticing

and i’m not gonna lie, that’s what happened, but maybe you weren’t confident enough to confess when you noticed the feeling that started invading your heart. it was difficult to believe it could be reciprocate, but the same thing happened to osamu

none of you gave in to the feeling and things just happened to grow more tense as stupid as it may sound, leading you both to a cloud of confusion about what you should do. sadly, things don’t go always the way we want them to go

that’s what you learned when you were hanging out at atsumu’s and jealousy suddenly consumed you on the spot. osamu nonchalantly entered the house with a girl you didn’t knew, and went all the way to his room with her without even saying his usual “hello you dumbfuck” to you, closing the door behind his back

you couldn’t help it, and you stormed out of the house without even giving atsumu an explanation, you needed to be left alone with your thoughts

for the next days you couldn’t bring the face of that random girl out of your mind for a second, she looked like she knew what she was going to do when she entered osamu’s room, and you wished so bad you were her

but that’s what you got for not confessing on time

even though it was difficult, you had to get used to seeing the boy you like with other girl, and with the pass of time, it became easier and easier. maybe it was because you were starting to feel nothing for him but rage, rage because he didn’t notice you were so into him, or maybe he just didn’t care because he didn’t feel the same

sometimes you would think rationally and in a lucid moment, you realized it was your fault for being a coward ass and not confessing, but that didn’t matter at all because now you were over the romantic feeling, it was just regret what was left, maybe something beautiful could have happened

after some time, atsumu asked you what was going on that day, and now that you weren’t sensitive about that topic anymore you decided to be honest with him and tell him the truth. you could see the anguish in his face and you couldn’t tell why, but you understood it all some days after when osamu came to your house with a nervous aura and you felt even more dumb if it could happen

“i think i like you quite a lot... you dumbfuck” (yeah as you can see you had a beautiful nickname) he let those words out with an annoyed expression in his face

“oh no this can’t be happening now” you thought to yourself. “...samu ??... and what about... her ??”

“i left her y/n. i don’t wanna be with her if i can be with you, she was just the band-aid for my wound... you.” osamu directed his grey gaze to the floor, his expression softened as he confessed this to you. you couldn’t help but break down into tears, this couldn’t be happening to you. “hey... why are you crying y/n? are you okay?” concern showing in his voice

“it’s just that i feel like a true dumbfuck samu.” you tried to smile through your tears and downplay the matter but it was impossible at that point. the boy looked at you with a confused guise, tilting his head to one side and furrowing his brows. “i’m sorry love... i don’t feel like that”

“but tsumu said...” — his words were interrupted by you placing your index finger against his lips as you directed your teary gaze to him.

“not anymore samu... it was a while ago. i’m deeply sorry, you can’t even imagine how much and i hope you can forgive me for being such a dumbass” you tried to say it in the softest way you could because you truly were feeling like that

“hey y/n. don’t worry. it’s not your fault. i get it, come here” you felt osamu’s arms taking you in a tight embrace, giving an end to a beautiful story that didn’t even got time to start

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kishimoto-did-us-dirty · 4 years

Text

Naruto Characters and Quarantine (Part 1)

Naruto characters x reader during quarantine

warnings: none

rating: K+

includes: konoha 12, sand siblings

Authors Notes: These are centered on the idea that the two of you are adults who don’t live or work together.

part 2, mayhaps?? anyone want that?? 👀

Anywho, enjoyyyy~

also, remember, these guys are shinobi. they gotta stay healthy, which is what I kept in mind when writing a lot of these.

Naruto

- totally ignores social distancing rules to come and see you

- he just has to, he doesn’t know what he would do if he didn’t :( probably die of y/n-deprivation

- this boy will not care at all about social distancing if none of you or any of your loved ones are at greater risk

- will sneak into your apartment and spends nights cuddling with you to get through his restlessness of not being able to go outside as much

- will bring you food and do your grocery shopping for you 100% if you or those around you are at a higher risk and can’t do it yourself

- just don’t expect your groceries to be 100% what you asked for

- “How was I supposed to know that Nesquik doesn’t count as a seasoning!?”

Sasuke

- non-massacre au

- another rule breaker

- just to a lesser degree

- he’s definitely gonna come see you whenever he wants, he just won’t do as much touching

- like, if you two are watching a movie together, you’re sitting on opposite sides of the sofa

- which honestly he was fine with at first, but then he realized he’s a little something called.... ✨touch starved✨

- and is now having a hard time not touching you as much as he wants

- he gradually gets more touchy overtime but still always insists on sanitizing afterwards

- he still won’t do more than a peck tho. he would absolutely hate it if you got sick bc of him.

- he also brought you a shit ton of toilet paper at the beginning of quarantine because he was worried you wouldn’t have any and it was the last batch he saw

- it’s his form of romance

Sakura

- at first she was totally all for the rules

- you two kept six feet apart with masks on at all times

- but very gradually and unconsciously... that changed lol

- she started to completely forget about the rules as it went on and would just randomly grab your arm or hug you out of excitement without even realizing it

- eventually she resorts to touching but with very strong precautions

- you both will sanitize, brush your teeth, wipe down areas, etc. as soon as you’re done hanging out

Shikamaru

- 50/50 with him

- he doesn’t care so much so as to stop seeing you and won’t wear a mask around you

- but if you try to kiss him he goes “you know we can’t do that right now.”

- will grab your hands and play with them and everything

- and may occasionally cuddle

- but he’s not going to do it as much as usual

- you two mainly just nap together

- but now you guys are napping with a couple feet between you

- again, these guys are shinobi. they gotta stay healthy and he knows that. he can’t prioritize kissing you over being the village’s strategic backbone and he needs you to understand that, too.

Choji

- my baby boy :(

- he tries so hard

- he really does

- but he just has to be around you

- he won't risk any health precautions and will still keep distance

- but he will always find ways to spend time with you while staying six feet apart

- expect a lot of social distancing picnics and food dates

- will 1000% bring you food if you need any

- he will also gladly buy you masks, sanitizer, wipes, etc. if you need it

Ino

- Ino isn’t as frivolous as many people in the fandom depict her

- She has a good head on her shoulders

- She may be a hopeless romantic, but she isn’t stupid and knows she has a job at the hospital

- She basically just like Sakura except a little more feisty

- will yell at you if you don’t socially distance well enough

- but will also snuggle you if she knows she has some sanitizer on hand to use afterwards

- ultimately, she knows she has to prioritize your guys’ health

Kiba

- not a total rule breaker

- he’s just like a kicked puppy tbh

- will always use his nose to sniff out sickness on you when you’re not looking (you know how like some dogs can?)

- will gives you hugs and look after you

- but he, too, will keep social distancing

- I could see him just grabbing your shoulders after a distanced hang out and just gently rubbing your shoulders from an arm’s length bc he knows he can’t get any closer

- but he does break the rules sometimes

- he’s snuck in a few kisses here and there

- Akamaru always barks at him for this though

Shino

- I love him so much

- but he ain’t breaking the rules

- he’s definitely going to social distance from you, bc him getting sick means his whole colony gets sick

- and he needs to keep himself healthy

- not to mention, if you got sick?

- he can’t even stand the thought

- he’ll just watch you do your thing from a good 6-7 feet apart and hope for everything to end soom

- he also puts a bug on you without telling you that’ll track your health

- that way he knows when you’re sick or not

Hinata

- I headcanon Hinata as being a bit of a security freak tbh

- not in the sense that anything’s wrong with her

- but she has to check that the doors leading into the house are all locked before going to bed, always stocked up with medical supplies in case of emergency, having extra face masks on her just in case, etc.

- small and quiet but still very safe

- she just likes to keep her distance and maintain safety

- she lives in a compound so any spread within it will likely extend to a few other people within her clan

- so she likes to stay distant

- but she really loves social distancing dates :)

- things like picnics, outdoor movies and training sessions!

- definitely makes you a lot of food and small gifts to make up for the lack of touch

Neji

- another rule-follower

- I mean what did you expect

- he just really doesn’t want you or anyone else getting sick because of reckless actions

- will 100% sanitize everything for you before and after you use it if you guys are out in public

- he claims it’s because you just won’t do it right

- but really it’s just because he cares

- kissed you a total of 3 times and felt a little guilty after the third since it was right after he came back from a mission and he hadn’t cleaned himself off yet

Lee

- follows the rules almost too well

- makes sure that you both are six feet apart at literally all times and might as well measure as much considering how dedicated he is to it

- HE’S HELLA DRAMATIC ABOUT IT ALL THOUGH

- EACH TIME HE REALIZES HE CAN’T HUG YOU BRINGS ON A NEW WAVE OF PASSIONATE TEARS

- he just cries a lot about it and really wishes things weren’t like this

- will often go grocery shopping with you bc he buys groceries for his elderly neighbors who are at a greater risk so they don’t have to go out (awwww)

- he will get very upset when he sees people outside without masks on when it’s things like that that make the virus keep spreading and thus keeping him from you for even longer :(

Tenten

- honestly I think she’s really casual about the whole thing

- always wears and mask and sanitizes everything, yeah

- but she gives you hugs and kisses just fine

- but only in private

- and she won’t be cuddling

- she just keeps her distance but still gives affection

- the type to get angry if you aren’t being safe enough

- like if you go to a party with multiple people there?

- she’ll scold you 100%

Gaara

- Gaara would have to social distance as kazekage

- he’s not allowed to run the risk since it’s public knowledge you aren’t living together

- this makes having private moments very difficult

- and he has to set a proper example for his citizens

- it’ll also be a large political scandal only worsened by his political opposers if he were to be caught not social distancing

- also if he got sick then that would leave the village susceptible to enemies who would take advantage of his vulnerability and attack

- but you two still do things together

- water cacti, discuss political events, watch over the village, etc.

- he gave you a cute succulent to look after while he’s not there as much

Kankuro

- similar to Gaara, as his brother, it wouldn’t look very good if he was caught disobeying the rules

- he’s pretty mature about it but will have private moments with you when you’re alone

- he doesn’t care so much about keeping 6 ft apart when you two are alone

- he just won’t go overboard

- just some handholding, hand kisses, and just petting in general

- when quarantine ends though, he’s all over you omg

- you’re the first person he comes to see and will hold you so tight

Temari

- angry love

- will personally bark orders at you about proper safety precautions

- your mask never has to worry about being on improperly when temari is around

- you can see her blush underneath her mask though

- despite her tough exterior, it’s visible just how sad she is

- Temari is tough but she thrives off of being around the people she loves

- not being able to be truly with you really makes her depressed for a while

- even offered to have you moved into the kazekage family house with them so you didn’t have to socially distance at home anymore

- takes every precaution she can with herself and those around her so this can end faster and she can be with you again

THAT’S ALL! SORRY THEY LOWKEY SUCKED! MAYBE A PART 2 IF REQUESTED ENOUGH???

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miyaniacs · 4 years

Note

i already cried today, so i will thirst w/u instead 😡😤 can i pls get some hcs for my bois kuroo, akaashi, teru/oiks (you pick, luv) with their bsf/crush who’s never had their first kiss suddenly asking them to teach her? and yk it leads to them all tangled up in bed 😏 it just happened to me a month ago n’ now i gots me a bf 🥺 anyways, i hope you have an immaculate day, sending ya lots of luv, boo! xx

CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO KISS?

There’s a Part 2 now !!

okay so First of all : Congrats on getting yourself a man this way haha that's actually so cute !! ❤️🥺✊🏼

warnings : some slight nsfw

Oikawas is a bit longer and less nsfw buuut I just had to I'm sorry lol

masterlist

YAAA BOY KUROO is first:

you walk up to him after his practice and straight up ask him. you told him all your friends are talking about kisses etc and you feel left out and also finally want this experience

on the outside he's totally chill but inside tho. he's freaking out.

he’ll be so confused but also proud??? like this was his fucking chance to make you his!!

your at his, sitting on his bed, awkwardly starring at each other

but he was a nervous wreck at the beginning

but after you ensured him that you do want this his cocky self is backkkk

his lips are millimetres away from your but he stops and looks you in the eyes to make sure AGAIN that this is what you want

yes he has a crush on you but that doesn't mean he’ll do anything you are not 100% sure of.

after you nod he’ll softy kiss you, moving slowly so you’ll get used to it. His hand is softly grabbing your cheek stockig It while the other on is on is resting on your waist.

yes he will tell you if you can do something better or tells you what he personally likes and he will show you how its done

its like he’ll be presenting a whole powerpoint where he will SHOW you exactly how every single point is down - with every variation included

after some time you'll get used to it and things start to heat up

he’ll be nibbling and softly biting on your lower lip making you moan

yes he did this on purpose because now his tongue is in your mouth and you're fighting for dominance.

yes he wins lol

but soon after, his lips are on your jaw, moving down to your neck, sucking and biting down on your skin, leaving marks for everyone to see.

gathering your strength you flipped him over, sitting on top of him.

he’s still smirking until his face drops and you can now only see pure love and lust in his eyes as you start to talke off your shirt

originally you planned to leave marks on his neck too.. but his lips just magically force you to kiss them

so your back again making out lol

you start to tug on his shirt and he’ll gladly let you put it off of him

now its your turn to stare bc this guy is ripped. you can't convince me otherwise

you wanted to kiss his neck and down his abs but NOPE not today hny

daddy mode is actived

he flips you over again

he’s living for it. seeing you lay under him, looking up through your lashes it drives him wild

probably saying something like : “ nah babygirl, you wanted daddy me to teach you - so let me show you the real fun “

he’ll move down and kisses your neck again while his other hand is opening your bra / if you’re a guy or like me and takes every opportunity not to wear one, he’ll gets straight to work and starts messing with you even more

uhm the rest is up for another HC lol

you will end up sore af, with marks you won't be able to cover up, laying on his chest, his body wrapped around you, his hands stockig your back while he kisses your head.

“you’re mine “ you mumble before falling asleep

OKAAY AKAASHI IS NEXT

you probably start the conversation

“hey Akashi, Bokuto told me you’re a good teacher, can you teach me how to kiss?”

he’ll blank stare at you and walk way lol

so you'll run after him

“akaaaashiiiiii please “ you whine the whole time

after the 20th time he’ll stop and look at you

The two of you are currently behind the gym

within seconds you're pinned up against the wall, his arms on each side of you, his face centimetres apart from yours

“Y/N are you sure you want me to do this?” he ask in a low voice

“ y- yes” you stutter taken back by his sudden change

“Kitten I can teach you, but I need you to be absolutely sure if this is what you want” because he is a respectful daddy ok?

after telling him again that you are sure of it he smirks

“ let’s have some fun then”

and his lips are pressed against yours

he. is. so. soft.

he’ll be gentle af until he feels that your comfy

then his dom! is starting to show

similar like Kuroo hell bite and suck on your lips

trying his best to make you moan because that's what he always dreams off

and now he hears you moaning his name and he goes crazy

he kisses your neck, sucking and leaving wet kisses

your hands are wrapped around his neck pulling him closer

he’ll probably lift you up so your legs are wrapped around his torso and he starts attacking your lips again

as his tongue slips in your mouth you start to tense up.

so he breaks the kiss and asks what's wrong

after you tell him that you have no idea how to frech kiss he’ll smile and say that that's what he's here for

hell guide you trough every step

and yes he's a pro

while catching your breath you ask him the one thing that's still in your mind

“you got the keys to the clubroom right?”

“thought you’d never ask” he smirks

yes he taught you even more that day. and yes you continued this little arrangement

for Study reasons. I mean. you wont become a pro with just one training session right?

okaYY last one I decided to do OIKAWA because this will be fun

he’s your best friend and he has a big as crush on you ( vice versa )

and basically every girl has a crush on him

and yes he went on dates ?? and had a few girlfriends ( not for too long tho) but you can say he's experienced right?

so on this Saturday night, you're having your normal movie night

and you kept on looking over at him not sure if you could ask him or if you were running your friendship

but then the opportunity came.

the couple in the movie started kissing.

“ I wonder how this feels” you sigh

“ feels what?” you looks at you confused

“ Kissing “

“ohh you haven't kissed anyone yet y/n” he smiles

“no,.., can you teach me how?” you blunt out

“ Nawww finally taking advantage of me” he teases

but rn he IS PANICKING

“yes. so please do me this favour tooruuuu” you whine

“uhm.. okay I can do that”

Sooo he moves closer

and awkwardly places his hand on your face

his face is moving even closer now

you close your eyes ready to finally be kissed

but nothin happens?

you open your eyes again

and see sweat dripping down his forhead?

“Tooru? are you okay?”

“ I - uhm - I - i just - I don't think this is right? I want you to do it with a person you have feelings for” he tries to save himself

“that's why I asked you” you mumbled

and he chocks on air

“YOU WHAT”

“I like you trashy” you mumble und look up at him again “so please just kiss me”

SOOOO NOW THERE’S NO BACK

yes he is extreme happy to hear that, he likes you too. but there is one bis problem left.

“Tooru? it’s not that you don’t know how to do it so just do it?” you joke. but you hit the nerve.

THIS BOY IS AS INEXPERIENCED AS YOU

“ um you see I like you too .. but ..,... I never ac-”

“OMG WHAT?”

“Dont make fun of me :( all the girls think I'm so great so I normally need to be good kisser - but I haver 0 experience so I never let others kiss me so no one would know about it and tell every one at school” he mumbles

and you couldn't help it he was so cute???

you grabbed his face and kissed him

after he overcame the shock he kissed you back and accidentally bit your lip lol

but this made you moan and your moan switched something inside of him and he MAGICALLY knew what to do

so his kisses are soft, and still a bit awkward but he got better with every second

so now he's kissing your neck, leaving marks while his hands grab your back and pull you down with him

now his hands are on your ass and you’re making out again

to get to the leaning part : you tell each other what you like and what not

because communication is KEY

his hands are under your shirt, tongues fighting for dominance, you both knowing that you will not only be each others first kiss

but not today hny

because his mother walks in his room

dropped the cookies on the floor and slams the door shut

yup mood is ruined

you’re both tomatoes now and you will not come to his place anytime soon again

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu!!#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu akaashi #haikyuu oikawa #kuroo tetsuro imagine #oikawa imagine #oikawa x y/n #kuroo x you #akaashi x you #haikyuu hc

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ribcage-rodents · 4 years

Text

How Iris first had an inkling that Wally had a crush on Dick. Ok so like, bc Star and Gotham are absolutely horrifying during Halloween, Barry is like “I’ll patrol then Iris will take the babies trick or teating”

Originally Wally is really upset bc he wants to go patrolling w his uncle but once he finds out that he gets to hang out w the other hero’s he’s psyched.

So Wally is like 12-13 and dresses up as the flash naturally. Roy is like 14-15 and he’s totally too old for Halloween and over it bc he’s super angsty, and dresses up as like Jason form Friday the thirteenth or some shit bc Black Canary forces him to. Robin only ever celebrated Halloween during his circus days when everyone would paint their face scary and flying Graysons would do aerial ballet show w black fabric so it was like spiders but after that it was just horrifying.

Anyway so Barry picked up this tiny Batman costume and Iris was like “Barry hon, isn’t he like 10? Shouldn’t you get him a bigger outfit?” (He two years younger than Wally, and four younger than Roy) And Barry is like “no trust me babe he teeny”.

Batman shows up to their house followed by a tinsity winsty baby tiny Batman bc Barry ran it over b/f patrol. And wow is that cute. Tiny baby Batman is basically glued to Batman’s side, his teeny little head coming up to Batman’s lower thigh, last time Iris checked 10-year olds aren’t supposed to be that tiny but wow is it adorable. (I’m sorry I just love teeny baby Dickie& giant looming built-like-a-tank batdaddy)

Barry told her what Batman had already explained. That Robin is foreign and doesn’t really know a lot of holiday stuff and also has been severely traumatized the past couple of years and doesn’t really like strangers and knows better than to take anything from strangers.

So it’s obvious that Robin would rather be tied up and drugged w fear gas than in a family aquatintence’s home about to go trick or treating. And Iris is a little resentful of the other boys, hard as she try to be understanding, bc Wally looks so disappointed bc he just wants to have friends and these guys don’t want to have fun.

Anyway Roy is kinda warming up to the whole trick or treating thing but sometimes he can be really mean to Wally but maybe Iris is just overprotective of her boy. Iris takes several pictures during the entire night despite both Batmans being adamant about no photos.

Robin refuses to go up to any house but Iris doesn’t comment on it. She doesn’t want to alienate him, so she doesn’t say anything. She goes up and grabs him a peice of candy but he disappears into the night. She panics for a good couple of seconds but calms when tiny Batman shows up next to Wally and Roy.

She doesn’t try again after that. He likes to walk at the back of the group and every time Iris tries to keep an eye on him, bc he may be a trained hero but central isn’t as safe as smallsville and her parental instincts are going off. Every couple of blocks Wally will try to walk next to him and talk and it’ll work for a while then Robin will slow down and fall behind and Wally’s angelic little baby face gets so sad.

As their trip comes to an end Iris can see Robin wrapping the cape around him tightly w his eyes screwed shut and it breaks her heart a little bc this poor boy must be so uncomfortable and scared that he’s trying to imitate the feeling of his mentors hug. It’s a jarring to imagine Batman hugging anything but she supposes that a baby as cute as that must make even the dark knight just wanna squeeze his sweet rosy, chubby cheeks. She reaches out to place a hand on his head, bc he’s too short to comfortably put a hand on his shoulder.

He jerks back immediately and death glares her, his anger showing full force through the white eyelets. She sent him an apologetic smile and he seemed to unbistle a smidgen.

Once they were finally home Iris watched them from behind the kitchen counter. Wally and Roy were digging into the candy while Robin perched on top of the couch. He kept scratching at his arm, Barry said that it was fine as long as it was controlled. Apparently the poor baby had a pretty serious anxiety disorder and tended to scratch to make himself feel better, it was ok as long as he didn’t have an attack.

She tossed him the single candy across the room, he caught it swiftly in his tiny baby hand. (So cute) Wally shot up to his feet. “That’s not one of my candies right?” Iris smiled, her prefect gluttonous boy. “Nope it’s from your uncles,” it was lie but it didn’t harm anyone. “That’s my backup candy!” Wally cried racing towards the door and snatching up handfuls of candy from the trick or treater bowl. Iris pretend to scold him for being stingy.

Robin slowly unwrapped the candy then examined it breaking off a piece and finally eating the snickers. His eyelets widened comically and he chewed slowly staring down at the candy before shoving the entire (not that fun size is really that big) thing in his mouth. It was absolutely adorable! She wished she had take a video and wondered if this was his first ever candy. (Dick usually just ate cotton candy as a kid, he hadn’t discover cereal yet. But since his parents died he hasn’t had real sugar, Alfred has strict hold on anything sweet in the house and Robin was deemed too energetic already.)

Apparently Wally agreed bc his mouth was wide open and his face was a blotchy-red color. His eyes were filled w what Iris could only discribe as adoration.

Wally swallowed then stood up again. His arms filled w sweets. “Here you can have my candy!” Wally all but shouted at the other boy, he paused for a second looking at his arms, “or we could share,” he suggested instead.

That’s what got Iris, even before his flash experiment Wally has never shared food, not even w his uncle. But here he was offering up some to a boy he hardly knows bc he thinks it’s cute when he eats candy. God she might cry.

Robin smiled at Wally. A real smile, the first one she’s seen all night. “You could still have it all if you wanted!” Wally said again his face turning a couple shades darker and thrusting the candy at robin, who artfully avoided his touch.

“We can share, don’t speedsters need extra calories?” Wally nodded and then proceeded to gather up the rest of the candy scattered on the floor. It was then that Iris noticed that Roy and dipped.

She was slightly panicked. Roy could probably fight for himself but he’s still a baby, a baby that Iris was in charge of. She hurriedly pulled out some blankets and turned on the tv for the boys while she dialed Barry who called Ollie. In a strange turn of events Ollie actually apologized to Iris, saying quote, “Roy’s a little jack-ass of course he snuck off. Don’t worry I’ll find him, probably screwed off to get drunk at some highschool party. Thanks for watching him while you could, I honestly expected him to scurry off a lot sooner.”

It didn’t exactly ease the tension in Iris’ chest but watching those two babies sitting on the couch pass candy back forth watching Charlie Brown specials made her feel a lot better. They were on opposite sides of the couch and Iris could see Wally’s little fingers twitching by his legs, he got up to go to the bathroom and came back only to really casually sit right next to Robin, like basically on his lap.

Robin wiggled up onto the arm of the couch.

“Ok so this ones a Milky Way,” Wally said passing the treat up to Robin.

He popped it in his mouth and chewed. “What’s the difference between this one and the snickers?” He asked, Iris was a little surprised by how good Robins accent was, he spoke like a natural English speaker, which he wasn’t. Every once in a while he’d use a word wrong or mispronounce something, a lit of something would catch on what he was saying but his American accent was pretty flawless.

“Snickers have peanuts, milky ways don’t,” Wally supplied in a duh voice. Robin smiled, “golly, you sure know a bunch about candies. You must be really smart!” And isn’t that so cute! Everyone treats the speedsters like idiots just bc they’re dense but here Robin is picking up on the hidden intelligence like a Batman should. Wally puffed his chest out all proud his face was still all red like a patchy strawberry.

A couple hours passed when Batman showed up. Wearing a different not soaked in fear gas costume, both Iris and Wally were sad to see robin go, well Wally was more devastated. The minute Batman stepped through the front door Robin was disappearing underneath his cape, according to Barry Robin doesn’t like to be more than 3cm from Batman at all times.

“Maybe we can hang out more!” Wally called his blush finally fading. A chipper ok sounded from somewhere in Batman’s cape, (Wally’s face turned scarlet in an instant) at the same time Batman gruffed out a no. Wally’s perfect baby face fell, Batman and Robin left. “Hey don’t worry kiddo I’ll talk to him!” Wally gave a half-hearted smile then went back to his candy eating.

Later he was engrossed in a discussion of patrol w his uncle while they both ate most of central’s candy supply.

As Barry and Iris got ready for bed an hour or so later she turned to him w a mischievous smile. “So it’s seems like Wally’s got his first real crush!” She sing-songed. Barry looked at her confused a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. “Who?” “Robin” she responded. “That’s doesn’t make any sense!” She signed, somethings speedsters really were dense.

#dick grayson #birdflash #wally west #babydickie #roy harper #batdaddy

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s1utspeare · 3 years

Text

Get To Know Me!

@foxofninetales tagged me in this ask game and since I LOVE HER i will now be doing it (i mean i’d do it anyway but now it will be filled with love for FOX i am not accepting CRITICISM ON THIS POINT)

Part I

name: Brigid! I’m named after the Irish goddess of like, poetry, healing, smithcraft, and protection, or the Irish saint (they’re both pretty similar it’s just whether or not you’re talking about Celtic religion or Catholicism). She’s very cool, and I think it’s a very fitting name for who I turned out to be!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i’m an insufferable theatre kid of course I’m a Leo

height: 5'8″ babeeeyyy (172 cm). I’m not short like, at all, but all of my family members are over six foot, so I’m like. tiny in comparison. they all make fun of me all the time for it :(

time: 8:49pm! A delightful time of evening!!!

birthday: July 31st, same day as Harry Potter lol.

nationality: american :P

fave bands/groups/solo artists: hnnnngggghhhh why would u ask me this I don’t KNOW jk i just have a lot uhhhhh all time faves would be Bastille and Mumford and Sons, but I’m SUPER into kpop right now, so my top groups are BTS, Stray Kids, and One OK Rock (who are technically jpop but I really like their stuff). I also am a Broadway BITCH (hello, theatre kid) so before this year all of my Spotify library was basically just show tunes.

song stuck in your head: Get Away by VeriVery. I think they’re a pretty new group? idk i saw them on one of those tumblr promotional things and checked out the music video which is like??? really interesting conceptually? so I’ve just been listening to the song for a while lol.

last movie you watched: Train to Busan! I’m gearing up to write a dmbj zombie apocalypse AU and so I was like “this is a popular zombie film! I’ll watch it for inspiration! :)” holy shit. holy shit i was so wrong. It’s one of the most viscerally affecting films I think I’ve ever seen, I was like. On the verge of an anxiety attack the entire time but in like the best possible way?? it’s a mastery of character introduction and action/horror and I cried for like the last ten minutes straight. SO affecting. I do NOT RECOMMEND IT if u are already made anxious by zombie apocalypse scenarios, blood, violence, and a Lot of Death.

last show you binged: hmmm uh like I’m currently watching Mystic Nine but at like a normal pace, so the last show I probably binge watched was maybeeee The Uncanny Counter on Netflix? HIGHLY recommend that one, I made @cross-d-a watch it and I’m living for her liveblog reactions lmao. Idk most of my free time has been spent writing the past few months which. After months of only having the energy to watch shows is kind of really invigorating? the things u can do when u fix ur health I’ll tell you what

when you created your blog: in 2012 asldighalsdkfjladskjga i came on here to like burdge’s pjo fanart :)

the last thing you googled: "is it bad not to have an air cap on your tire” ALSDIGHALKDFJLADFJA FUCK ME (i learned that it’s not necessarily bad but it can get dirt and stuff built up in there so I went to the store after work today and replaced it)

other blogs: everything is here bc i am too lazy to create a sideblog! so sorry to everyone who does not follow me for cdrama content bc this is all I am now.

why i chose my url: cause it’s my ao3 username and i wanted people to be able to find me more easily on tumblr! :) the long answer is because i love shakespeare and also i think that slut is a really funny word and concept for me especially because i am one of the most sexless people u will ever meet in ur life so slutspeare is like. an aggressively ace joke that only I think is funny.

how many people are you following: 588

how many followers do you have: ah just over 200?!??!!? which is like. a lot for me. I think it was like 75 up until like last year omg

average hours of sleep: my sleep app says I average around eight! which is very good for me! I do have to get enough sleep consistently or I will Have A Bad Time so my sleep schedule is pretty good and luckily I don’t have the Insomnia depression I have the Sleep Lots one which I am glad for bc idk what I’d do if I couldn’t Be Unconscious regularly. Die probably.

lucky numbers: I don’t think I have lucky numbers?? my favorite number is 21 for no reason other than the vibes alone.

instruments: i’ve played the piano for uhhhh.... eighteen years now? and I can play the ukulele and am surprisingly good with the recorder since I’ve had to play it in Multiple Theatre Performances. I was also an honor choir singer back in high school so I’ve done a lot of select ensemble stuff which was super fun!

what i'm currently wearing: a Life Is Good long-sleeved t-shirt that says “Not All Who Wander Are Lost” that I got in a military surplus store like a million years ago and red Adidas athletic shorts that I found at the thrift store a couple weeks back

dream job: playwright! I just wanna be a playwright! playwriting is like drugs i literally go nuts for it

dream trip: I don’t know??? I don’t really like traveling tbh aslidhalkfdj umm I do want to see the grand canyon sometime before I die tho so maybe a road trip down there? I definitely like traveling solo so I’d probably just hang out with myself and drive and go to whatever places I want and see dumb tourist attractions and sing loudly in the car

fave food: CURRY i know i said eggs the last time it asked me this but I miss my local Indian restaurant I want to eat literal Platefuls of tikka masala at 12pm at the Indian buffet after my physics class again :(

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: hmmm i don’t know, actually! probably one where I have Powers and could do Cool Hand Motions and make Lights Appear. If I were anywhere with like. An Actual World-Dooming problem tho I would not be helpful at all. I would just die. Besides, I already live in fictional universes half the time, I’m a writer!

Part II

last song: Basquiat by Pentagon! The music video is like. Very whumpy. So if you’re into that... the song’s also a bop

last stream: i don't watch streams very often, I just watch clips from them, cause those usually just give the best parts lol

currently reading: mmmmmbbbaaaaahhhhh literally nothing? I’m trying to get caught up on the backlog of dmbj fic I haven’t gotten around to so Binding by @vishcount is next on that list! oh I guess I’m also reading Johnny Tremain with my kids (one of them SPOILED THE END and I forgot how it ended and now I’m big sad).

currently watching: Mystic Niiiiinnnneeeeee! love those gay history bitches. everyone in that show is so funny. I just finished the Fuba Side Plot tho and now we’re back to Politics so i’m like >:( someone give zhang baby rishan a hug (and then i write angst about him what is wrong with me)

what is antipoetry to you: antipoetry??? what the heck is antipoetry hold on... uhhhh that’s just poetry. who came up with this term. i guess like lyrical fiction would be the technical correct definition but idk I consider anything to be poetry! like that’s the whole point! poetry is poetry is poetry as long as it’s focused on intensity and emotions it’s poetry! a haiku? poetry. the random one-lined mess of words on my phone? poetry. a literal drawing of a cardinal with the word “bird” written next to it? poetry. idk I’ve been trying to teach my kids that there are no wrong ways to write creatively; if you’re expressing yourself and making emotions, then you’re writing! also like half of my work could be considered antipoetry lmao. I love emotionally supercharging the mundane.

currently craving: i have noooo ideaaaasssss i’m literally just vibing. uh. water? ok i took care of that one my water bottle was right next to me.

AH IF YOU READ THIS MUCH THANK YOU???? i love u

uhhhh no pressure tags for @xia-xueyi, @nope4ever, @bookjoyworm, @elletromil, and @gaiahenshin, as well as anyone else who would like to give the full-rundown on themselves! :D

#ask tag #about me #Brigid's Fox #asldighalsdkfj i thought cross' tag was very funny so i've decided that's my foxofninetales tag from now on #because i love her

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okayoonoh · 4 years

Text

MARK’S FAMILY

a/n: i have a bit more time now since school is out! i hope to get as many things out as i can!

here’s the masterlist to all things nct dad related! go and check it out!

MARK LEE:

he has 2 kids, both boys. ethan lee is the oldest, 2 years later, eli lee was born.

ETHAN LEE: >> as a baby <<

a giggly little thing

he was honestly just a lowkey baby

like he wasn’t super energetic

he wasn’t super fussy

he was just lowkey

mark honestly was so nervous the entire first couple months of ethan’s life

he genuinely felt like he was doing everything wrong and was so scared that he would do something that would eventually hurt ethan

but you would reassure him that every new parent just needs to figure it out and everything will be okay

mark was still pretty nervous tho

ethan is the oldest of the kids born in his year

there’s only three of them

ten’s second son, shawn leechaiyapornkul and jaehyun’s daughter, jung lani

all three dads would come together as a joint baby sitting project

but honestly, ten and jaehyun went over to help mark and ease his nervousness

like shawn is ten’s second son, so even if ten doesn’t have it completely figured out, he at least has the experience

on the other hand, jaehyun has read a ton of parenting books and such so he knows a lot about the facts of the matter dealing with temperature of baby food, the right type of crib, the material of the baby’s clothes, etc.

jaehyun and ten would go to mark’s house a lot to help him out and teach him the ropes

(omg i have scenario ideas haha)

but a little snippet:

mark: okay, ten-hyung, he’s been crying for the last hour and i already fed, changed, and burped him and i’ve been trying to get him to sleep for a while now... what do i do?

ten: stop bouncing for a sec and hold him. *walks over so his face is level with ethan’s face* ethan look! *takes out a toy to distract the baby*

ethan: *gnaws on his fist but stops crying, his attention on the toy now.*

mark: how did you know?

ten: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ all experience, dude.

(another scenario)

mark: okay ethan, time for your bath!

jaehyun: waIT STOP

mark: ???

jaehyun: did you check the temperature??? you can’t put ethan in the same temperature that you bathe in... babies can be sensitive towards this... *puts his hand in the water* oh my goD! mark! this is way too hot!! turn down the temperature!

(oh man imma have fun with these three haha)

ethan was born first

shawn was born next

and lani was born last

they were all born rather close to each other tho

like coincidentally, they were all born like within 30 days of each other lol

ethan was born 2 weeks late (i know... poor you...)

shawn was born roughly on time

and lani was born like 2 weeks early

since they were all around the same age and such, jaehyun, ten, and mark found that as a reason to all get together and help each other

(it was more mark freaking out and ten and jaehyun helping him out haha)

just give mark sometime with ten and jaehyun and they’ll make sure he knows what to do :)

>> as a child <<

started to become a little more active

he’s so lovable

like he’s so magnetic

so many of the kids are just so drawn to him it’s weird

like even he doesn’t really know why but people just always want to be his friend

he’s so talented and so dedicated when he puts his mind into something

ethan is such a hard worker

he’s best friends with ten’s second son, shawn leechaiyapornkul and jaehyun’s daughter, jung lani

they all remain best friends basically for life

the three of them are pretty clever for kids

like they make really good decisions

they won’t go and buy the high quality toys that are expensive

they’ll buy the budget toys bc there’s more of them

the three of them all play well together

shawn is really shy and was really scared to try new things

he wasn’t really adventerous

ethan and lani decided it was their life mission to make shawn more social and adventurous

most of the things they all did together was to try and get shawn to try more things and be less scared of not scary things

and he loves it!

ethan is like the leader of the group

as the oldest, the other two tend to just follow him

ethan is the same way towards his little brother

like at first, he was awkward like mark was

tbh ethan is super awkward around babies lol

like he doesn’t know the right way to talk with them

he’s okay with his younger brother

he didn’t really know how to interact with eli when he was an infant

ethan gets better when eli is a toddler

he starts to gain an interest in rapping and stuff around this age

mark shows him some of his old videos and such

and he’s honestly so entranced

he thinks mark’s rapping is the coolest thing in the entire world (bc it is)

mark starts to teach him as much as he can

and ethan is just so interested in all of it

ethan spends almost all of his free time writing lyrics and such

mark helps him out

ethan most definitely can speak english too

like mark made it a point that he wants his kids to be bilingual lol

ethan is just as passionate about canada as mark is

honestly? ethan looks like a mix between you and mark

but his personality is all mark

when he hits puberty, his voice is squeakier than average lol

he still raps through it tho

he doesn’t let the squeaky voice make him feel insecure at all lol

>> as a teen/adult <<

becomes such an amazing rapper it’s crazy

he doesn’t join a boy group

he becomes a solo artist

he’s honestly just as busy a someone in a boy group tho

like not only did he get his personality from mark

he also got his busy schedule :,(

this was unintentional

but ethan is such a good rapper that they just filled up his schedule

lani becomes a solo artist herself and they collab together a lot

like they collab together so much that at this point, they should just say that their in a group together lol

ethan is so multitalented

like his rap style isn’t limited to just one

like he can do all kinds of different styles

he can spit bars

he can deliver a super strong rap

he can even rap in a chill way

ethan’s voice is honestly so calming too

like he has one of those voices that you can just listen to for hours on end

his on stage persona is so intimidating

but his normal personality?

he’s soft™

around lani? even softer™

tbh

like lani and ethan just decide that they’re together one day

they both probably danced around that topic because they both were scared that getting together would ruin their friendship

like lani didn’t want to confess because she didn’t think ethan liked her like that

and ethan vice versa

ethan would probably be writing a song and he would call lani to be there bc she was his muse

and like they found themselves super close with each other and stuff

then they were like “look, let’s just start dating, wth.”

and they do

and they become the power couple of the century™

lol they probably were super scared to tell shawn

but when they did he’ll be like “FINALLY”

and lani and ethan were like ???

and shawn was like “y’all. I’m hella dense, but even I WAS ABLE to see that there was something going on between you two.”

ethan and lani were both hella relieved and their status as a couple didn’t mess with their friendship with each other and with shawn at all

anyway

ethan gets really famous bc he’s just such a good rapper and such

and he maintains his relationship with his best friends

and he also supports the heck out of eli

omg eli would like make a dance cover to every single one of ethan’s songs

and ethan and eli would dance together a lot

they were super good siblings

if ethan needed choreo, the only person he would go to is eli. periodt.

ethan is honestly such a good and awesome person :)

ELI LEE: >> as a baby <<

he was so chic as a baby

like he would give you guys smiles and stuff

but the smiles only lasted a quick second

then his face is straight again

everyone was lowkey like “why is he so mad at us all of the time”

eli wasn’t mad

that was just his face lol

he was a rather bouncy baby

like he was definitely happiest when he was in his bouncer

mark was better this time, dw

he definitely wasn’t perfect

but the training ten and jaehyun put him through prepared him for this

eli also tended to smile a lot when ethan’s in the room

and mark is definitely happy to have a little helper

even tho ethan was still a little young when eli was born

he was still a huge help

like if eli was crying

ethan would walk over and hit him reassuringly

and eli would stop crying!

but it was out of shock and not comfort lol

it’s okay bc it gave mark enough time to get over there :)

eli honestly was the biggest momma’s boy

like the first day you were gone the whole day

eli couldn’t take it

he cried basically the entire day

eli loves mark, but he just loves you so much more for some reason lol

even tho he looked mad 25/8

he was such a pretty baby

like he was all you with mark’s eyes

those rare times eli did smile, oh man

the universe stopped when you saw that precious smile

he was a really sweet baby regardless of what people would say :,)

one of the quickest ways to make eli really happy is to put him in his bouncer

turn on some music

and boom

happy baby right there

mark is really good at playing with his boys

like both ethan and eli had such an active imagination

and mark was right up there with them

when eli was stomping and walking around, that’s when mark shined as a dad haha

eli is happy sunshine even tho he has one of the most severe cases of rbf lol

>> as a child <<

still pretty chic

like nothing really phases him

he looks scary or mean

but he’s honestly really sweet and nice

people would be really scared to approach him tbh

bc he just looked so mad

but the second he opened his mouth?

happy boy™

omg but if someone was talking crap about eli?

ethan would have none of it

ethan will defend his brother until the day he dies.

he’s best friends with yangyang’s oldest son, ryu wei

they’re born the same year

eli and wei both love love love hip hop

they also both are so talented at dancing

like when you watch like those dance company things (like the MILLENNIUM DANCE COMPLEX) and you see the little kids?

that’s eli and wei

their personalities compliment each other well

like their both goofballs

and they both work really hard

and they both have a huge passion for dancing!

omg eli is definitely the shy one between the two

okok imagine

it’s eli and wei’s first super huge dance comeptition

and they both have major solos / a duet part of the dance together

the entire family is there

(including all of nct and their kids lol)

(they totally take up half of the theater but that’s besides the point)

wei is HYPED

but eli is super duper nervous

to the point where eli doesn’t want to go onstage anymore

and even tho wei reassures him, eli is still nervous

wei knows exactly what to do tho

he goes and grabs ethan and takes ethan to eli

and after a quick pep talk and such, eli is all ready to go out

eli and wei both KILL it

they do so freaking well so like ofc they won :)

(without a doubt nct would be so freaking loud lol)

but it was genuinely so good!

eli is full of so much talent

but even so, he’s not lazy

both ethan and eli have such a good work ethic

they work hard to see their goals and it pays off :)

>> as a teen/adult <<

his face remains the same

like his stoic exterior is what makes him so popular

his facial expressions are honestly 10/10

he becomes a dancer

and he’s oh so good

he is another one of the instructors at youngchul and kaleb’s place

eli and wei are the freestyle teachers

like eli can do practically any style

but he feels like freestyling is the purest form of creative expression in dance

lol probably with his stoic expression, everyone thinks he’s the “bad cop”

but it’s the other way around

and like wei isn’t really the bad cop

eli is like “okay! good work guys! let’s take a quick break then start again!”

wei is like “okay! love the energy so let’s all keep it going with no break. we’ll take a break when our legs feel like their gonna fall off, okay?”

eli was probably casted a lot since he’s been in the dancing scene as soon as he could walk

and like he genuinely considered joining a group

like he knew how to rap a bit from practicing with ethan and such

and tbh, eli thought he would do it bc he thought that it would make mark “more” proud of him

but mark would tell him to do whatever he wanted!

like regardless if he joined a group or stayed as a dancer or heck, even get an office job

mark would be so proud

so eli decided (probably on a coinflip lol) that he’ll dedicate his time as a full time dancer

and honestly? he’s living his best life

like best best life

he gets to do his favorite thing everyday

he’s surrounded by family and friends?

eli is thriving

he also is super duper supportive of all of the other dancers in the group

like if a kid wants to dance for fun, eli and wei will teach them!

omg eli for sure inherited mark’s flexibility lol

if eli is really feeling the vibe of a song and wants to go off he’ll throw in the splits 99% of the time teehee

like all of his talent and hard work is shown through every performance

eli is honestly pretty awkward tho lol

like onstage and in front of a camera? he looks like the most confident person in the world

then offstage and someone compliments him?

poor baby gets so shy haha

he calls you everyday

he’s still the biggest momma’s boy lol

eli is honestly just thriving :))

---

and there’s mark’s fam! i hope you guys liked it!

i have a ton of ideas for a joint baby sitting project between mark, ten, and jaehyun! it should be a ton of fun to write!

let me know if you have any requests! my request box is open :))

- amy <3

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call-me-merlyn · 3 years

Text

I found a list of my favorite things you ever said to me. I cried in a way that I haven’t since I was a small child- broken by my parents’ words, mistakes, and anger. I curled my knees to myself and remembered that I can do hard things. I started to wonder where we went wrong. Because my feelings for you never changed. But then I realized that was never the issue. These words I read now ring as true today as they did over the four years you wrote them. But I want them back. I want you back. I want pragmatism and growth. I want to talk about the hard things and work them through. But I can’t tell you that. I can’t tell you anything because you don’t want to hear it. Because you’re hurt and you want space. So if you stumble upon this blog- the one I told you not to look at all those years ago- I will let a few snippets of your words remind you. Mind you, these are 12 out of about 30.

1. Baby. I want the future with you. It just hit me so hard. I want the visions I have. I want us and I don't see that changing. We are the most beautiful couple I have ever encountered. Not just because we're both convinced the other is drop dead gorgeous, but because I see such magnificent potential in us, together. We are that rare couple that could actually have the dream life that everyone wants and fears is impossible or that they don't deserve it. Health, happiness, adventures, perfect children, successful careers, growth and excitement, cuddles, intellectual stimulation, respect for each other, kisses that leave us breathless, freedom, good friends that we both care about, a lovely home, a dorky dog or five, all the sex we can handle, our families coming together wonderfully, and true fucking love. I want it all with you and I believe that we can have it with all my heart. Ugh I want it and I'm so excited to build towards the future we want. With you. Every damn day, one day at a time.

2. Morning love. To build a home? I'll always like yours more. I'm binging your music this morning. Speaking of songs that make me cry. Night in shining armor? I love that whole analogy. Your words are one of my favorite things about you. I love the music that spills from your lips, whether you're singing or laughing or reading or teasing me. It's all heavenly music to my ears. I'm so proud to be your person, your once and future someone. I love you so much. The dark times have passed baby, you brought the light back into my life.

3. This one's hard to explain. I've never met someone who is such a clean harmony. Your identity, your character, is a beautiful, pure chord. Every interaction I have with you I hear that resonance, and the notes weave together perfectly. That chord resonates with who I am on such a deep level, and I could hear it from the very first moment we interacted. I want to listen to that chord every day, to hear it form your melody, day in and day out. Puzzle out it's layers and listen to you add more. And to play my own song to match yours, to create our own wonderful song in this life.

4. You elicit feeling so well with words, sometimes it makes me feel inadequate

The way you express yourself so effortlessly

Because I've always prided myself on communicating verbally

But it comes pretty effortlessly to me too

Especially when I talk about you

I know I keep coming back to this, I'm sorry

But it resonates so strongly with me

To imagine you as a song, chord, or melody

The way your music weaves with mine

Haunting, ethereal, and divine

You make my eyes and heart shine

With love and affection, at my most painful times

When I can't feel it about myself

You come to my house and put happy memories upon my shelf

I want to show you how much you mean to me

So that you will always see

You are my light

And in the middle of the night

When I roll over and feel your breath

On my neck, I don't fear death

Because a life next to you is a life worth living

The love I have for you is a love worth giving

5. I was watching How I Met Your Mother, and to be honest that show really means a lot to me. I'm not sure why I bonded it with it so hard, it feels kind of silly in retrospect, but I did. In the episode, the main character runs into the girl who left him at the altar for another man, and they talk about true love and who you choose to be with. And the guy has an open moment about his yearning for that special connection that people find so rarely. That spark between people that's so unique and magical when it occurs. The song Careful by Michelle Featherstone plays in the background. I'm sure you've heard it, and it just pulled at my heartstrings. Maybe listen to it as you read this? Bc I am as I write. It makes me think of you. I've said it before, and the words fall flat, but I'm so damn grateful for you. Every piece of you. The fractals, the perfectly formed little moments of unadulterated Merlyn, that come together to form this perfectly cohesive being of fucking light. You know me. And I don't like to admit that I falter, or that I need help from anyone. It goes against what I've been trained to be by my father, my experiences, and my own cynical nature. Before you walked into my life...I wasn't entirely happy. I was missing something. I could feel it. And it made me ache. I went looking for it everywhere, even though I wasn't sure what it would look like when I found it. But I knew how it would feel. And you... you rescued me. From my own damn self. I'm prone to loneliness for a number of reasons. I'm solitary. I like to be independent. I'm proud. I can be harsh and judgmental. I get exhausted by humanity. I can be very sensitive when I'm vulnerable, and I don't like to give more than a handful of people the power to touch my heart. But since you walked into my life? I don't have to look anymore. I have never felt such constantly genuine, gentle, fierce, and unselfish support from anyone. Not from my parents, not from friends, my cousins, my lovers. No one has ever looked at me the way you do. No one has ever been so unyieldingly loving. Every time I have trusted you with more of my heart and my self, you do your absolute best to make me feel valued and loved. No matter how that best manifested, I have always felt your effort. You are always careful with my heart. I used to carry around this utter, soul crushing feeling that I missed someone. Someone vital. But there was no one to miss. And I didn't know where to direct that desire for connection. I got lonely because I wanted someones company...that I didn't know. But since I met you, I haven't felt that even once. I have only rarely felt lonely, and even in those moments, it was because I fucking missed YOU. Your laugh, your touch, our connection. And that's such a revelation to me. To know the face of the person I feel I've been missing all this time. It's been you. I love you, Merlyn. You are an unparalleled treasure to me.

6. God damn it Merlyn, I have so much love for you. I'm so lucky to have you, the thought of losing you is a nightmare. I want late night quesadillas and then to push each other to eat right. I want to scoff at each other's baby names until we get to ones we both love. I want to be your shoulder to lean on, cry on, or try to dislocate with a kimura. I want yours to be the same for me (maybe without the kimura bit?) I want to sing duets with you and write stories on lazy Sunday afternoons. I want to make you grin and I want to make you bite your lip. I want to hear your breathing every night when I go to sleep. I want to put Tristan on my shoulders, have a debate with Chris, try to get your cat to like me. I want you to cuddle into me and let me hold you at night even when I get hot because you're the most precious fucking thing in the world to me. I want you to train with my dad and shop with my mom. I want to get drinks with your mom and laugh at your dad's dirty jokes. I want to travel with you, go jet skiing on tropical islands and throw snowballs at each other in the mountains. I want to walk around crowded cities with you until I get too anxious but you tell me to chill out and stop being such a baby about it. I want to hear my daughter call you mother. I want to see you spin like you did when I first walked you home. Nothing brings me more joy than the thought of sharing the little moments, the big moments, and everything in between with you. Nothing is worth jeopardizing that future for me. I love you with all that I am. Count on it.

7. I just read all your words top to bottom and they hit me hard. I've been looking at them as bits and pieces. One day, one note at a time, not a tapestry. All together in one sitting, I can just feel where your heart was, and maybe still is. I hope it still is in some ways, because I've never been loved like how you love me. Not with such admiration or surety. I've never been wanted the way you want me. It makes me feel simultaneously unworthy and determined to live up to your love. It breaks me to feel the pain in your pen strokes. I want to wrap you up in my arms and fend away anything that would ever make you cry. I hate myself sometimes for making you cry. It breaks me every time, a corruption of my purpose. Every time, to read the simple words "today was hard..." It rips me apart. I love, live to see you smile. To laugh with you. To make music with you, whatever the form. I'm sorry for all the pain I've ever caused you, my darling. It's never my intention. You are my most precious gift, and words fall short of expressing the breadth and complexity of my feelings for you. They boil down to what you've written over and over again though: I want this life with you. I want all the complications, all the routine days, all the late night phone calls, and the adventures. I want to walk around knowing we have the same last name. I want you. Endlessly I want you. I wish I could pull a fragment of that feeling out of my chest and give it to you just so that you'd understand. God I miss you. I love you. You are my partner, and I hope that stays true for the rest of our lives. I can't say it enough. You are everything to me. I want you to express every part of you, never stop, because I love them all. Every mellifluous note in your melodies, every word of poetry in your fascinating mind, every fierce moment on the mat, every tear that falls in your fragile, vulnerable moments. I want to be there. To give you love and to be the best partner I can be. For you. God I can never say enough

8. Kay I'm heading to bed so gonna write this out. It's difficult. Love defies definition by its very nature. Which is a paradoxical statement right out the gate but whatever. I started writing my response in a philosophical approach but it didn't feel right. There's no need to ramble about Forms or essence or any of that philosophy mumbo jumbo. All that matters is how you opened my eyes. I used to think that love was about passion above and to the detriment of everything else. I used to think that love and pain were joined at the hip, inseparable. I used to fear that love was a curse, a burden, a surrender. I used to think that to fall for someone was a trap, and that you were taking a terrible gamble by giving someone the power to destroy you. I used to think that relationships were ropes and that love was a noose. I used to think that love was jealous, demanding, forceful, combative. I used to think that love was sporadic and messy. I used to think that there was no true, sustainable happiness to be found. You've turned it all around. Hell, you've upended the board and thrown away the rulebook. You've shown me that love is a balance of passion and choice, that they should play off each other build each other up. One is useless without the other. Passion will burn you out, but so too can you drown going through the motions. I've been through both. You're the only one that has struck the balance with me. You've shown me that the only necessary pains from love are the growing pains. I've been given and dealt horrible wounds, been through wars. Our relationship is the only one in which both parties can put their weapons down. You've shown me that love is a tank of oxygen when you're drowning, a shoulder to lean on, an investment. Trusting you with my heart has liberated and empowered me. I believe that trusting me with yours has done the same for you. We use that understanding of each other to lend strength, to give joy, to protect. You've shown me that relationships are lanterns and that love is the sun. You lit up my world. You've shown me that love is generous, thoughtful, gentle, supportive. You've shown me that it's steady and pure. You've shown me that happily ever after isn't just in storybooks. It's attainable. We have an obligation to chase it. We've been given a gift. And I will be grateful for it for the rest of my life. I will cherish it. I will cherish you. You've given me everything. You are my true love. Goodnight I hope you sleep well

9. Darling, gorge yourself on my love

I pray to God that it’s enough

To fill you up and keep us above

The water line of that rising slough

Darling, gorge yourself on my heart

I pray to God it’s what you need

Ignore the pain in the darker part

Come home again to me to feed

Darling, gorge yourself on my mind

I pray to God it’s what you want

Those angry echoes you may find

Don’t let them drive you from this haunt

Darling gorge yourself on me

I pray to God I’m what you crave

I know I’m flawed but I can be

The one who saves you, the one you save

Oh darling, I’ll gorge myself on you

On your mind and body, heart and soul

So darling, gorge yourself on me too

To keep us human, keep us whole

10. I want us to be tethered by the sea, to back each other to the hilt, to paint the walls red with love, to get lost in the light. Baby I promise I will take true care of you, tell you that some things last, and know you better than your piano. Because you found me. You came out of nowhere, you made me fall in love with a single touch, and this ain't a haunted house no more. I can't take my mind off of you. Only you can help me to forget the terror that comes and goes in waves. You keep me warm, and I know that all will be well and we'll be just fine. So don't give up love. Three more months, flyin your way home to me. We'll be inches apart and even closer at heart. So send me your location, cause I'm jealous of the wind that ripples through your clothes. Put your eyes on me, and I know a place that we can get away. Say you won't let go, tell me it's real, and let's go somewhere only we know. We won't need to take our clothes off to have a good time, but I'll get the lights and you lock the door, cuz we won't leave that room til we both feel more. Cause I see it all without the lights. No one will ever see you the way my eyes do. You are something to behold. Elegant and bold, you are unforgettable. You are the fire and the flood. Last night I woke the fuck up, realized I never wanted anything so much as to drown in your love. If you could read my mind love, what a tale my thoughts could tell. I feel life for the very first time: love in my arms and the sun in my eyes. Ohh I fall apart, and I can't help falling in love with you. I still can't believe that I found love where it wasn't supposed to be. Right in front of me. At (college). I made a fumbling play for your heart, and the act struck a spark. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and beyond. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to you and go straight into your arms. I'm in love with all that you are.

11. You always wonder about the future. What makes you different from the others. There are infinite answers, but some of the biggest ones are that..you make me understand and feel things that people always say but never mean. Until you, I've never truly wanted all of someone. And I mean it when I say I want ALL of you. I am in love with every inch of you, every word that comes out of your mouth, every little habit, every quirk. I have wanted every piece of you in every moment that I've known you without fail. I have never adored anyone or anything so much. You are perfection to me. In the truest sense of the word baby. You make the cliches make sense. You make them feel not cliche. It's incredible. You make sense in my bones. I am so in love with you. I can picture nothing more glorious than a life with you. That's how I know you're the one. Because it's obvious. And when it's right, it should just he obvious. Easiest choice in the world.

12 Goodnight ____. I hope you sleep well. I really enjoyed hanging out and listening to you play tonight. I know you were half joking about how I should be paying you compliments, but your music abilities really are such a gift. It always makes me happy when you use them. You get this energy about you that’s so wonderful to see. I’m listening to your soundcloud stuff again now. Been a while since I’ve done that, haven’t had access to the account for a bit. I wish you had more of your stuff on here. It’s all so lovely. It always makes me think about us. You don’t seem to care for it much, but especially To My Future Someone. I hope I live up to all you dreamt I’d be when you wrote those words. I hope to the gods I’m the one you sang about. Because you are everything I ever wanted in a true love, and more. Things that I didn’t even know I needed. You’ve made me a kinder, much more grateful man. And a happier soul. You deserve the best in this world, and I’ll always do my utmost to be him. I’m so in love with you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, my light. Sweet dreams.

When did the thought of losing me stop being a nightmare? Because the hurt was never more than this. Never more than this love. You said in another snippet that you’d do anything to be the person I built a home with; you’d do your best to be the my person and to never hurt me. But you don’t want to be with me. And you chose your nightmare over your dreams. And I still choose you. I still chose you every second of every fucking day. It was my nightmare too and I’m living it.

But, I’m changing. I’m harder now. The tears don’t fall quite as easily as they used to. And at least I know who I am now. I am a warrior. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am new. Don’t think 8 weeks can change someone?? Come see me again. I’ll show you exactly who I’m not anymore. The only thing that hasn’t changed is my love for you.

And if you want to lose these words and this love, so be it. I won’t fight you. I won’t fear you or that anymore. I don’t want to be the only one fighting. I can’t. And I won’t be afraid of my worst nightmares because they have come true and even though I pray I won’t lose you, nothing in this life is certain. If you don’t want to fight, I will be someone else’s light someday. And I will shine unashamed; unabashed; strong and sure. I will bring beautiful children, music, and love into the world. But until then, I’ll be my own light, and set my darkness aflame every morning, just as I have since the day you left. After all, there’s not much darkness left anymore.

#journalentry #long reads #personal entry

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jon-daddy-dominus · 4 years

Text

Kitten's Collar

Chapter, 5

Her room was still pretty dark when Alexis opened her eyes. There was a dim glow, sneaking in passed the edge of the curtain, letting her know that the sun was starting to rise. She reached over, and pulled the charging cord from her phone. She was surprised at herself, this was the first time in forever that she was actually awake before her alarm went off. Unlocking her phone she seen the message notification.

""" Good morning Gorgeous! 😊 I hope your dreams were as sweet as you. I have to accompany my boss out of town today, and he's funny about us being on our phones while on the clock. So, I just wanted to let you know, that if you message me, and I don't respond right away. I'm not ignoring you, and I will reply as soon as I get a chance. I won't be back until very late, or possibly early in the morning, but I'll be thinking about you the entire time! You didn't say if you had to work today, or not. If you do, have fun, and although I realize it gets you better tips, try not to flirt anymore than necessary, please. If you don't have to work, relax, and enjoy your day off! I can't wait to see you again, Sweetheart! TTYL """

She read his message, and when she'd finished, cupped her phone, pulled it down to her chest, and layed there smiling at the thought of him. He could be such an ass sometimes, but god he was so sweet! She thought. She pulled up her schedule to remind herself if she had to work or not. Even though he wasn't there, she could imagine his reaction to her not having her work schedule memorized. "Alexis... seriously? You can do better than that Sweetheart." She laughed to herself at how well she impersonated him in her head. She tried saying it out loud a few times, but couldn't get her voice low enough to sound like his, and it kept coming out sounding more like a talking baby doll when the batteries are going dead. Which made her laugh even harder. She thought about what Clint had told her, and decided she was going to impress the hell out of him the next time he came over. So she jumped up, threw on her comfy leggings, and a t-shirt, and began picking her clothes up from the floor.

A few hours had passed, and she was on a roll. Kitchen was spotless, bathroom was spic and span, bedroom was fit for royalty, and the living room looked like something out of a furniture magazine. Now all she had left to do, was vacuum, run to the laundry room, and go to the grocery store, and she was done.

The laundry basket was a little heavy, but that was probably because she had nearly two and a half loads stuffed into one basket, because she was the one trip queen! She made her way to the laundry room, and got way too excited that there were two washers available, so she could do both loads at once, and she probably had enough time to run to the store before they finished. Then she could put they groceries away, and vacuum while the clothes were drying, and everything would be done, except the folding. She was so proud of herself, she had to tell someone, and she really wanted to tell Clint, but she also wanted it to be a surprise when he came back. As she stuffed the washer full she decided to just tell him she had straightened up a bit, that way he'd be really impressed when he actually saw everything she'd done. But what if he wasn't impressed? What if he didn't even acknowledge all her hard work? After all, he seems kinda anal about that stuff, like what if he's just like, "Do you expect me to congratulate you? When this is something you should be doing anyway?" She was going to be pissed! As a matter of fact, she was already a little mad that he wasn't impressed in her imagined scenario. What the hell was wrong with him? How dare he not tell her she did a good job? Or that he was proud of all the effort she'd put in? She slammed the washer lid down, and the bang broke her train of thought. Wow, really? I'm wondering what's wrong with him? What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm mad at him for something I made him say in my own head! How crazy is that? She shook her head, and laughed it off, as she set the washers, and headed out to the store.

He seems pretty old school about everything else, I bet he'd be really impressed if I cooked for him. She thought, as she wandering down the aisle. I wonder what his favorite thing is? I'll just text him and ask. No dumbass, he already told you his boss doesn't like them using their phones, so he's probably not going to answer until after you get home. Then you're going to be mad that he didn't respond quick enough. Just get something you think he'd like. He likes all those cowboy movies, maybe he's a meat and potatoes kind of guy? What about vegetables? Does he even eat vegetables? Broccoli! He ordered broccoli at the restaurant dumby, you know he likes that!

She picked up a couple of steaks that she thought looked good, baking potatoes, and a head of broccoli. She stood in front of the beer cooler for a few minutes, wondering if there was any particular brand he preferred. She tried to remember what he was drinking when they went out, but her memory was a little fuzzy. I'll just get a bottle of wine, and make tea. That's what he got himself from chick-fil-a, so that should work.

As she stood in line at the check out, she heard a voice call out from behind her, "Aye beautiful wassup?" She pretended like she didn't see him, and smiled as she slid her items closer to the register.

"Aye sexy. You need some help drinkin that wine?" The guy laughed.

She turned around, and the guy was standing so close that she had to tilt her head all the way back, just to see his face. The smell of cheap body spray filled her nose, before she could take a step back. "Thanks, but my boyfriend's gonna help me drink it." She said, turning back to the cashier.

"Oh you got a man. Where's he at now?" The guy continued.

"Umm... he's at work." She replied, trying her best to be polite, and not show how intimidated she was.

"You wanna hangout for a little while? I got that fire." He offered.

"No thank you. Like I said, I'm seeing someone."

"Yeah, but he at work. We can chill, and he ain't got to know." The guy said, smiling.

Her patients had run out, she had had enough. "Look, I'm not trying to be rude, but I've already told you, I'm seeing someone, and I'm not interested. Will you please leave me alone?"

"Well, fuck you then bitch! Ain't nobody want you no way. I was just trying to be nice and give yo ugly ass some pity dick!" He snapped, as he pushed passed her and stomped out the door.

"Oh my god. I'm sorry, that was so uncalled for." The cashier apologized.

"It's hard to believe that guys actually think that shit is going to work. I mean, seriously. Did he think I was gonna say, "yeah! Follow me home strange, creepy, random guy. I'll give you some of my wine and you can give me an std!" She laughed shaking her head, as she swiped her card in the machine.

"I know, right? It's pathetic, how unimpressive their pick up game is. But you handle that pretty well." The cashier nodded.

"Thanks. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't sure what he was gonna do when he started yelling. People are fucking crazy!" Alexis laughed, trying to hide her relief that the guy had left.

She walked into her apartment, and began putting the double arm load of bags down. She went back to the laundry room, and switched the clothes over to the dryer. After the groceries were put away, and she had vacuumed, she retrieved the laundry and began folding it. Other than dishes, this was probably her least favorite part of cleaning up. Not so much the washing, and drying, but the folding, hanging, and putting away is what she hated. While she folded, she thought about the asshole at the store, and how rude he was. He reminded her of her ex, and what a shitty boyfriend he was. What the hell did she ever see in that guy anyway? He was a complete bum. He couldn't get a decent job, because he refused to stop smoking weed long enough to pass a drug test. But even when he had a job, he never had any money, so they never went anywhere unless she paid for it. And his clothes, he was worse than a woman about his clothes! He had like ten pair of sneakers, and god forbid any of them accidentally got scuffed. He'd whine like a little kid for days! Then she remembered the time at his parents house, when she jokingly bent the bill of his new cap. First he got so mad, she thought he might actually hit her, then when they got in the car, he cried, he actually fucking CRIED! Over a hat, what a little bitch! She burst into laughter when she remembered, that when she caught him cheating, she sent his side chick a video of her burning his collection of sneakers, and caps, just so she knew what kind of pussy she was dealing with. Alexis laughed so hard her stomach started to hurt, and she knocked over one of the piles of clothes she'd been folding.

"Shit!" She yelled, still cackling to herself, as she picked the them up and headed to her room to put them away.

Alexis looked around the living room, and kitchen one more before grinning with pride, and sitting down to relax for a bit. She picked up her phone, and seen she had no new notifications. So she decided to message Clint.

"""Hey hot stuff! 😍 Wht u up to? I didn't have to work today but I got a TON of stuff done around the house! I also grabbed us a few steaks for when you get back. I'm not gonna blow u up bc I dnt want u to get in trouble. So have a good day. Can't wait till ur back! 😘"""

She sat there staring at her phone for a few minutes, hoping he would respond, but decided she was going to take herself a well earned nap.

Her phone pinged a few hours later, waking her up. She wiped her eyes, and stretched her arms, and legs out as hard as she could, causing her neck to crack, making a loud popping sound. It felt nice, and she rolled her neck around a few times before opening her phone to see Clint had responded.

""" That's awesome Sweetheart, I'm proud of you! 😊 Thank you for not "blowing me up" lol Somehow I don't think Dale would appreciate it much. We're on our way back now, we stopped for a bite to eat, but it'll still be a few hours before we're back in town. So, probably not until 1-2am, and I still have a few things to do at home. Can we do supper, tomorrow around 6? I really want to see you, and taste test your cooking skills! 😁😂"""

She smiled at his message, but it faded pretty quickly from the disappointment of reading that she wouldn't see him until the following night. She wasn't just disappointed, she was actually kind of mad. She wanted to see him, and now she had to wait a whole day.

"""😕 I was kinda hoping you were coming over here when you got back.😔"""

""" I know I said I wasn't gonna blow you up but I want you to come over when you get back to town."""

""" I'm gonna wait up for you sooooo you better come see me! The spare key is under the flower pot on the right, in case I fall asleep. 😁😊""""

""" So are u gonna answer me?"""

""" Hello?"""

""" K """

It was a little after one am and Clint still hadn't messaged her back. She stomped into her room, threw her phone on the nightstand, and flopped down on her bed. She jumped back up, ripped the covers back, and flopped back down. She snatched the covers up over her hard to show the empty room how angry she was. She checked her phone one last time, before shoving the charger in it, and throwing it back on the nightstand. She pulled the covers up tightly around her neck, and pulled her legs up close to her chest. She thought she heard her phone make a noise, so she reached up to check it again. When there was nothing, she dropped it back down, pulled her arm back under the covers, and closed her eyes. She was almost asleep when she felt someone watching her.

"Alexis." Clint called out from the dark.

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lailaliquorice · 5 years

Text

beneath a shattered golden sky

this was fuelled by the yelling of the six discord since we all boarded the aralyn train a couple of days ago. tagging @tenpin-boleyn and @gayboleynz bc I promised abi some aragon angst about her religion + sexuality (I hope you don’t mind the bonus ship) and I promised noel some aralyn. also big thanks to abs for yelling about aralyn angst with me

I know I normally write aragon and boleyn as mother/daughter, but my multishipper heart took over. don’t worry I’m still parrlyn trash and there’s parrlyn fic coming soon but here’s something a little different for now c:

tw for homophobia

It hadn’t been easy for Aragon to reconcile her religion with her emotions upon her reincarnation. It went against everything she had ever been taught, ever believed, but how could she deny what was in her heart? Those conflicting parts of her had lead to a tough journey of reassessing her faith, reassessing herself, and a lot of time spent researching homosexuality in Catholicism with Cathy’s help. While her goddaughter was Protestant so there were a few differences in their faiths, her help had been invaluable while Catherine was figuring out her feelings.

Anne had also been a solid support. At the start of their relationship, Catherine had almost envied her for the ease with which she came to terms with her sexuality. Everything came easily to Anne, the polar opposite of her sometimes uptight self, and she loved her for it as well as envied her for it occasionally. But Catherine couldn’t get over that hurdle that quickly and she was grateful that Anne had never held that against her at all. Their relationship was something they took slowly, at Catherine’s pace, and as much as Catherine sometimes felt guilty for holding Anne back she was grateful that her girlfriend never tried to push her faster than she could comfortable go.

Even once Catherine felt ready to kiss Anne in front of the other queens, to hold her hand while walking down the street, it didn’t make her journey of progress any less precarious. And it didn’t take much for her to be knocked several steps backwards.

After going out on a date for breakfast at a little café they both liked, they were walking back home with Anne holding onto Catherine’s arm. With Pride approaching there were rainbow flags strung up everywhere which gave Catherine the extra boost of confidence she needed to rest her hand on Anne’s as they walked, feeling safe and content in the happy atmosphere with her girlfriend by her side.

Until an aggressive voice from behind them shattered that illusion of safety.

They both flinched at the slur that was hurled at them, knowing clearly what it meant even though it wasn’t a word they had been used to in their old lives. Catherine was about to keep on walking with her head held high when the words came which made her heart stop for a moment.

“You’ll burn in Hell for this!”

Catherine stopped in her tracks. Hearing the words aloud which she’d once heard within her own head felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over her head. The world around her blurred as her mind started to whirl; she could hear Anne shouting in the background but she couldn’t do anything about it, frozen still with her eyes wide as they stared at nothing.

Minutes or hours could have passed before she became aware of a gentle voice calling her name and a hand squeezing hers. “…Catherine?” Anne repeated until Catherine’s eyes flicked up to meet her gentle gaze, all her fury gone as she watched Catherine’s emotionless expression. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Catherine could only nod mutely, letting Anne keep a hold of her hand as they walked the rest of the way back to the house. The familiar streets were hardly recognisable to her in her anxious state – the only sensory input she could register properly was the pressure of Anne’s hand in hers. But while part of her was clinging onto that contact as her only lifeline, the louder voice in her head was screaming at her for daring to hold her girlfriend’s hand.

“We’re home, babe,” came Anne’s soft voice through the haze in her mind, and Catherine looked up from the floor to see their front garden. She still didn’t say anything as Anne unlocked the door, but as soon as she was over the threshold into her own home she snatched her hand out of Anne’s grasp and practically ran up the stairs to her bedroom. Anne’s confused shout from downstairs was ignored as she shut the door and sunk onto her bed.

A sob ripped from her throat as Catherine hunched over and cried.

She could feel how hard she was shaking as her arms wrapped around herself, desperately trying to anchor herself in a world she was still dissociating from. Her head was screaming so loudly that she could feel physical pain pulsing at her temples, snagging her fingers in her hair as she cradled her head and begged for it to go away. She couldn’t bear to look towards the crucifix on her bedside table in her shame and self-loathing, painfully aware of the cross around her neck which rested on her skin below her t-shirt.

A knock at her door startled her from where she was fumbling to take the necklace off, freezing like a deer in the headlights when she heard Anne on the other side. “Catherine?” she called, “can I come in? I’m worried about you.”

“No,” Catherine choked out, cursing herself for how her voice shook. After forcing herself to inhale deeply she added in a somewhat calmer voice “I’m fine, Anne, I just want to be by myself for a little while.”

There was silence for a moment, and Catherine could only hope that Anne had left. But then the door handle moved just slightly, presumably from Anne’s hand resting on it from the outside, and Catherine curled in on herself again in an attempt to shield and protect herself.

“Catherine?” Anne called again, and it was hard not to sob audibly at the concern in her voice which Catherine was convinced she didn’t deserve. “I’m gonna come in in a minute, ok? I don’t want you in here on your own after… after that.” Her voice faltered a little as she trailed off.

The thought of Anne seeing her in such a state added even more conflicting feelings to the panicked thoughts whirling around her head. Despite how much she loved her girlfriend she was still so scared to let Anne see her vulnerable, to give anyone any ammunition that they could possibly use against her. She was known as the cool and collected one, the firm and strong one, and that was all in jeopardy if one comment from a stranger could reduce her to a trembling mess. She laughed harshly at that, hands covering her mouth as she rested her forehead on her knees.

But on the other hand, she longed for the comfort of Anne’s presence to bring her back to Earth from where she’d been left spinning aimlessly. The floor beneath her feet still didn’t feel quite real enough for her liking, even less so as the oxygen in her lungs was lessened from covering her nose and mouth, and the feeling of being so untethered was only making her anxiety worse. Her heart hammered loud in her ear as her shallow breathing increased to near-hyperventilation, lungs screaming for air though she was frozen in her hunched over position.

She knew dimly that Anne had probably been able to hear her gasping breaths from the other side of the door, so she wasn’t particularly surprised when there was suddenly a warm body pressed against hers and a hand rubbing her back. “Breathe, Catalina. Please breathe with me,” Anne said in her ear, sat as close to Catherine as she could physically get while gently pulling one hand away from her face. “I’ve got you, you’re here, you just need to breathe.”

Catherine let herself be pulled into Anne’s arms, physically unable to resist as the anxiety attack sapped all the strength from her limbs. But Anne’s arms around her was the grounding presence that she needed, and slowly she began to feel her shoulders losing their tension and her lungs relaxing as she became more aware of her surroundings. For several minutes she didn’t move from where her face was hidden in the crook of Anne’s neck, unwilling to face Anne’s worried expression and the questions she knew were coming about what had prompted her panic.

Sure enough, Anne shifte Catherine in her arms so that she was looking up at her as she gently prompted “Talk to me, babe?”

Even though there was only love and understanding in Anne’s expression, that was all it took for Catherine to push her way out of Anne’s embrace to sit alone on the bed. Her eyes were squeezed shut in a last futile line of defence, her hands shaking again at the thought of talking to Anne about what had knocked her so off kilter.

Seeming to sense her fears, Anne slipped her hand into Catherine’s and ran a thumb over her knuckled. “I’m not gonna make you talk about it yet if you don’t want to,” she said quietly. “But he was so wrong, he was wrong about us and he was wrong about your faith.”

In the quiet that followed, Catherine slowly relaxed enough to lean against Anne’s side and rest her head on her shoulder. Anne didn’t prompt her any further, sitting silently as Catherine gathered her courage and let her tension slowly seep away.

“It brought everything back.”

“Hmm?” Anne responded at Catherine’s sudden confession.

Now that the first words were out in the open, Catherine knew she couldn’t button her thoughts up again or she’d never speak of them again. “I’d just found a place where I was happy with being Catholic and being ga- being gay. And now I’m unsure again. I’ve prayed and prayed for answers but I’ve received no resolution which could either mean God is content with my path or He holds me in such shame He won’t speak to me. My faith is so important to me, it’s the one thing I’ve always had, and the thought of being condemned for eternity just because of something I love?”

She faltered there, hot tears spilling down her cheeks as she turned her head slightly to hide in Anne’s hair. Anne didn’t say anything immediately, just switching the hand holding Catherine’s in order to wrap an arm around Catherine’s shoulders and pull her close.

After a little while, Anne gently nudged Catherine back upright as she stood up. “Hold tight for a sec,” she murmured, then disappeared out the door without an explanation. Catherine’s head tilted upwards as Anne’s footsteps echoed up the attic staircase to her bedroom above, then thundered back down again as she rushed back into Catherine’s room with a thick book held in her arms.

“Shuffle up,” she said as she crawled over the bed to sit with her back leaning against the wall, leaning forward to take Catherine’s hand again as she moved to sit beside her. Once Catherine was leaning against her shoulder again she placed the book on her lap, taking a deep breath before she spoke. “This is something I’ve been working on for a little while,” she said, showing Catherine what was in fact a Bible with dozens of fluorescent notes sticking out at all angles. “And it’s not against anything to annotate a Bible, I checked with a pastor online.”

Catherine smiled tiredly at her hasty addition, curling further into Anne’s side to show her appreciation.

Anne turned her head to kiss Catherine’s forehead before she continued. “You’re gonna have to roll with me for a mo. All the pink stickies are all the passages that people use to say that being gay is wrong in the eyes of God. But-“ she continued quickly as Catherine stiffened predictably “-I’ve annotated them all with why people take the meaning wrong. Bits that got messed up in the translation from Hebrew, things that are misread, stuff like that. Thought it’d make you feel better when you’re struggling with stuff.”

She finished with a timid smile, looking nervously down at Catherine as she anticipated her response. Catherine couldn’t react for a moment, staring at the Bible with wide eyes as she tried to comprehend what Anne was giving her. It was a gift of unimaginable depths: the hours that Anne must have put into her annotations were unimaginable.

Still too overwhelmed to speak, Catherine just hugged Anne’s torso and let out a quiet hum as she closed her eyes.

“I know, babes. I know,” Anne said with a soft chuckle, letting Catherine relax as she held her close.

Catherine was content to stay in her arms for a few minutes, before a thought crossed her mind and she struggled out of Anne’s embrace again. “What?” Anne asked, her face falling when she caught sight of Catherine’s expression.

Shifting uncomfortably, Catherine shrugged as she tried to put words to the guilt that had chosen that moment to rush back in full force. “I feel guilty that I’m holding you back by not being able to accept myself,” she said all in a rush, knowing once again that she had to get her words out as fast as possible once she started. “If you were with someone else you could hold hands and kiss and be open without being dragged back. You could ignore protesters without needing to sit here with me. You could be yourself properly if it weren’t for me.”

“Catherine, stop,” Anne said firmly, a distraught look in her eyes which made Catherine fall silent immediately. “Listen, I’m not like him. I’m here for the long run. I’m never gonna get tired of you, or want someone who someone thinks is better than you, or abandon you ever. There’s nothing you could do to make me not want you. I’m here. And I’m staying.” She reached out hesitantly to hold Catherine’s hand again, tugging lightly until Catherine slowly looked over at her.

“You’re here,” she echoed in a voice not much more than a whisper.

Anne smiled. “You said it,” she quipped softly, opening her arms again. After hardly a moment’s pause, Catherine let herself lie against Anne with one arm around her back and the other touching the cross around her neck as the two felt at peace with each other again.

#six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #aralyn #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #laila's writing

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criminalhotch · 5 years

Note

Can you write a little blurb from that anon? I love a protective gray.

The answer is yes I can and here I am. Little note, I don’t ever see Ethan hating his nieces and nephews nor do I see Grayson being this mean to Ethan but I do see Grayson have lots of kids.

Don’t know if you are taking request bc what about something like Y/N is pregnant with her and gray’s like 4th so they need a new car. And Y/N overhears Ethan talking to someone about how g and Y/N need to stop having kids. She gets upset and gray comes and makes everything better.

“Gray?” you sigh. “Yes, pretty momma?” he replies. “We need a new car. The one I have is a five-seater and we are about to have our fourth kid. I hate to say it but I need a mom van” you admitted as he chuckles. “Ok but can we get you like a nice mom van?” he asks. “Uh, yeah. I’m not driving a rust bucket, Grayson” you scoff.

It’s about a week later and it’s time to go car shopping. Ethan and his wife are watching your three kids. Addison and Amelia were four almost five. Bentley was two almost three. Ethan had two kids. A boy and a girl, Oliver and Lorelai. Lorelai was three and Ollie was almost a year old. He was the baby of the family, for the time being anyway.

You eventually found a highly recommended van that both you and Grayson loved. It felt nice having a car that was big enough for your growing family. You dropped Grayson off at the house so he could finish up some things. You drove down the road to Ethan’s to pick up your kids. You decided to go to the back door because that’s where you typically parked. Ethan and his wife must not have heard you come in.

“So where are they?” E’s wife asked. “Because they need a bigger car for their herd of children” Ethan explained. “I don’t know how she does it. Don’t get me wrong I love our kids but two is plenty!” she admitted. “I mean Gray’s always wanted a bunch of kids but I honestly don’t know when they’ll stop. All Gray talks about is how he wants a bunch of them” Ethan adds. “There has to be a limit on how many kids a person or couple can have. The three they have is plenty plus this fourth one and maybe more? I can’t watch Gray’s 8 kids plus our own” Ethan’s wife joked. “They’re going to be the next Cheaper by the Dozen” Ethan laughed. Your heart broke at how much they didn’t like your kids and that they thought so lowly of your family with Grayson. Tears filled your eyes but you wiped them away. You took a few steps back so it wasn't obvious that you heard them. You took a couple breathes before yelling for your kids. “Addy! Lia! Bentley! Time to go home!” you shouted through the house. “Oh, hey? How was car shopping?” Ethan’s wife asked. “Good, Gray and I both really like it. It has so many features that the kids will enjoy” you explained. “You’re a true soccer mom now Y/N” Ethan laughed as your kids all came running in. “Alright let’s head home so daddy can set up everything in the van and we can show you all the cool stuff inside,” you said excitedly as all of the kids cheered. You quickly left saying short goodbye’s to your in-laws.

Arriving back at your house you opened the van doors as the girls ran inside. You couldn’t help but replay everything you had heard in your head. You felt a tear stream down your face as you heard Bentley giggle. “Oh, my sweet boy” you mumble. Bentley was the biggest mommy’s boy in town. He very rarely wanted Grayson unless he was too sick or tired to care. You got out and unbuckled his car seat then scooping him up into your arms. You were holding him on his side with his diaper bag on the other. He was potty trained but he had snacks and extra clothes for all of your kids as they were Dolan’s and it showed. “Now, don’t tell daddy I was crying ok, bubby? He doesn’t need to know” you smiled kissing his cheek. “No, telling daddy” Bentley mumbled. “No telling daddy what?” Grayson asked. “Uh, the girls got mud on the floor of the van but I’ll vacuum it up” you lied. “No, baby. I got it” he said walking out to the garage. Well damn, that backfired. You had decided to get far away from Grayson as possible and maybe he’d forget about it. You decided to play house with the girls. “Mommy, will you be the grandma and babysit our dolls while we go out for a little bit” Lia asked. “I would love to Lia bug” I answered. “No worries mommy, we’re not really going out, we are just pretending” Addy explained. “Ok, sweetie. I will be in here” you told her. Soon enough Grayson walked in. “Two little birds told me you were in here and a third little bird told me you were crying in the van” Grayson said to you. “Damn it, Bentley” you muttered. “He’s two, babe. I gave him a cookie and he told me” Grayson admitted. “Now why were you crying?” he asked, his voice full of concern. “It’s nothing” you whispered. “It’s not, nothing. Please tell me why you were crying and you told B not to tell me?” he pleaded. “You can’t get mad” you sighed. “Um, ok?”

“So when I went to pick the kids up from E’s I heard them talking. They were talking about us and our kids. “I don’t know how she does it. Don’t get me wrong I love our kids but two is plenty!” she admitted. “I mean Gray’s always wanted a bunch of kids but I honestly don’t know when they’ll stop. All Gray talks about is how he wants a bunch of them” Ethan adds. “There should be a limit on how many kids a person or couple can have. The three they have is plenty plus this fourth one and maybe more? I can’t watch Gray’s 8 kids plus our own” Ethan’s wife joked. “They’re going to be the next Cheaper by the Dozen” Ethan laughed.

Grayson’s jaw clenched but he wrapped his arms around you. “Gray, am I a bad mom for bringing home this many children?” you whimpered. “Y/N, you are the farthest thing from a bad mom. The kids and I are so lucky to have you. You’re an amazing momma to our babies. Being a mom looks so good on you, why do you think I keep knocking you up?” he smiled. “Well, clearly some people have other ideas. I never knew that they didn’t like our kids. I know they’re a lot but they’re family, Gray. We will just have to ask your parents or something because apparently, it’s too much for them” you cried. “Alright, enough of this” Grayson yelled. He loved his brother but he was not going to sit here and let his pregnant wife cry over the tasteless words that his brother said.

He stormed over to his brother’s house, slamming the door. “Gray, what’s up?” Ethan said. “Oh, nothing just my wife crying her eyes out because my stupid brother and his wife can’t keep their mouths shut” he yelled sarcastically. “Bro, what the fuck are you talking about?” Ethan asked. “When Y/N came to get the kids she heard you talking about our family, our kids. She acted like it didn’t bother her but it’s fucking killing her. I don’t know who the fuck you guys think you are but how many kids we have is absolutely none of your business. You guys may be happy with your two and that’s fine. I love Ollie and Lorelai just like my own and you’d think you would love mine too but apparently having more than two nieces or nephews is too much for you. Our kids mean everything to Y/N and I. If you guys can’t see that then maybe our kids don’t need to see you guys. Y/N thinks she’s a bad mom for having this many kids. That she is selfish for having more instead of spending time with the ones she’s got. All because you guys feel the need to gossip about MY family. I don’t care if you are my twin, Ethan. If you have an issue with my kids or how many we have then you just won’t have to deal with them” Gray yelled. “Gray, it’s not like that. We love your kids. We’d take them in a heartbeat. We were just saying two is exhausting but four? She didn’t hear the beginning. We were talking about how she’s like superwoman. She is a really good mom. Y/N being a bad mom never crossed my mind once” Ethan admitted. “You fucked up, E” Grayson warned. “I’m going” E sulked.

You sat on the couch playing peek-a-boo with Bentley. “Hey, Y/N?” Ethan said. “Oh, don’t get too close my herd of kids may attack,” you said bitterly, clearly still hurt. “I came to apologize. You didn’t hear the beginning of our conversation. We were talking about how you were like superwoman. Our two plus your three is crazy but you could handle them all then be ready for more. Your kids are so smart and pretty well behaved. It’s crazy how you handle it because our two is enough. If anyone was going to have a dozen kids and deserve it, it’s you and Grayson. We love your kids like our own. You are far from a bad mom. Your kids are so lucky to have you and Gray. I’m sorry if we made it seem like we thought that or we didn’t like your kids. You know your girls are wrapped just as tightly around my finger as Lorelai is. As an apology, how about we take your kids next week, Friday night to Sunday afternoon while you and Gray have a getaway?” Ethan said. “You mean all of that?” you asked. “Of course, I do. I’m an ass, Y/N but I’m not that mean” he said. “No, I meant about the getaway” you joked. “Yes, I’m serious. You guys plan something and we will take the kids” Ethan said. “Thank you, E. For offering to do that and coming over here. I’m sorry I eavesdropped and blew this out of proportion” you apologized. “Hey, it’s just a big misunderstanding, ok? You’re a good mom, a good aunt, and a great sister-in-law�� Ethan said opening his arms for a hug. You wrapped your arms around his waist. “Thanks, E. You’re not too bad yourself” you joked as you chuckled. “So Gray where we going on this kid-free getaway courtesy of your brother”.

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keepseaveyweird · 5 years

Note

Seeing one of the boys as part of your daily routine bc LA is truly a small town in the grand scheme of things

I changed it from LA to NYC. Only because I figured it’s more routine in NY than LA, cause like... Idk it makes more sense in my head this way I’m sorry!! I hope you like it though!

“See you tomorrow!” y/n laughed as she parted ways with her friends walking out of her last lecture of the day. The busy streets of New York were loud with sirens and the sounds of taxis honking all around. She waited at the corner for the walking light to indicate it was safe to cross the road alongside a dozen other individuals. Soon, she was on the move and spun around the railing to make her way down to the Canal Street subway station to go back to her apartment.

The time she was let out of class was the perfect time to hitch a subway ride, the stations weren’t crowded and there was breathing room and open seats in every train. Compared to other times of the day, it was truly the only peaceful time in NYC, the only time everything seemed to just slow down a bit.

As y/n descended down the steps to the platform, she saw the usual people she tended to see. Men in suits on the phone, ladies in heels with a big pile of papers in her hand, students reading their book for english class. It was usually the same people, as the city lifestyle forces one into a daily routine, but every now and then, someone would miss work or they’d bring a friend along. But the one constant she never missed and was never different was the boy with curly hair who sat on the second bench to the right. It was never the first or the third or any on the left, but always the second and always on the right. He sat with a journal on his lap as well as a blue pen in his hand, thinking and writing.

As she waited the five minutes it took for the train to make its way back to the station (never anymore or any less), y/n would casually stand behind him and to the side a bit and glance between her phone and the boy on the bench. She couldn’t help but be intrigued by him, the way he would jot down whatever it was he was writing. Or the way every couple minutes he’d look up from the pages and glance around, look back down, and tap the end of his pen to his temple as he thought, only to begin the routine over again. Or when he would write something good down (one could only assume it was good) he’d try and fight the smile that tried to overtake his face, but fail and his toothy grin would expose itself to everyone at the station.

That day, the curly haired boy was extra smiley, and his pen was writing at lightning speed, and y/n couldn’t help but smile anytime he tried his best to fight the shit-eating grin that would overcome him. She couldn’t help but think he was cute, his floppy hair framing his face and his arms slightly flexing with the movements from his wrist. She loved his style, t-shirts slightly oversized along with pants or jeans that were baggier than they probably should be (but he made them look much cooler than anyone else could) and his Jordans, which were definitely new. Every now and then he would have a fanny pack draped across his body, which looked quite weird on other people, but he made it a look and worked it well. His brightly colored beanies sometimes hiding his beautiful curls, but making appearances as they tried to escape the hat but he’d push them back in almost every five seconds.

Soon the train rushed to a halt and the doors opened, letting the few people off, and y/n made her way to her usual spot; a seat towards the back of train and the back of cart. The boy would usually sit across from her as well, and he’d put his journal in his backpack and play on his phone as he played with his nose ring. Truly, y/n and him had the same routine, getting on and off at the same stop at the same time every day, walking three blocks east before parting way at the corner of 63rd and Madison.

As she walked on, she realized a new man who she had never seen had stolen her spot. She looked around, seeing that the usually empty cart was fuller than usual. Feeling off, as her routine was almost never broken, she stood with her hand wrapped around the cool metal pole.

“There’s an empty seat here, if you’d like it.” Someone said from behind her. Y/n spun around to find the cute boy pulling his back pack from it’s honorary seat beside him, a smile on his face.

“Oh, thank you,” y/n smiled as she took her own bag from her back and held it in her lap. The boy went back to listening to whatever music he had on, shuffling through his phone and y/n began to do the same, pulling her airpods from her bag pocket. After opening Spotify and deciding between playlists, she finally pressed shuffle on her throwback one, and hearing the opening notes of Northern Boy by the Academic.

Before she had a chance to put in her other ear bud, the boy lightly tapped her shoulder.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help but see that you were listening to The Academic,” he said, before showing her his phone screen with the same song playing.

“Oh my gosh,” y/n cried, her eyebrows raised with excitement, “you like them too?”

“Oh for sure! They’re one of my favorites,” he told her, before showing her all the songs by them on his playlist, “I’m Jack, by the way,” he smiled reaching his hand out for hers.

“I’m y/n.”

The rest of the subway ride continued as such; them sharing new music, as y/n handed him one of her ear buds to share. Soon they were at their stop, where they walked back up to the sidewalk and continued to talk about music and their life. About how y/n was currently at New York University studying global studies, and Jack was at The New School studying musical performance with an emphasis on voice, and how him and his best friends were thinking of starting a band.

“I think you should do it, you never know what could happen,” she told him as they approached 63rd and Madison, their usual parting place.

“That’s what my friend Zach keeps saying,” Jack laughed, “everyday all we hear is, “why don’t we, what’s the worst that could happen,”” he said, mocking his friend with a smile.

“Well he’s definitely not wrong,” y/n giggled as they reached the corner, “well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. It was great talking to you!” muttered y/n, as she turned to head home.

Before she could take a step, Jack gently turned her around by the shoulder, meeting his beautiful brown eyes, “wait, would there be any chance you could possibly, maybe want to grab a smoothie or coffee or something with me?” He said, a small blush taking over his cheeks, “if not, or if you have things to do I totally understand, it’s just th-”

Y/n interrupted, “I’d love to,” she smiled.

The two made their way to the closest coffee shop, and sitting down with paper cups in their hands at a small table by the window.

The two continued to talk until the sun started to set.

“It’s crazy it took us so long to start talking, I’ve seen you everyday for the last five months,” Jack laughed, taking a sip of his smoothie.

“I know! What were we doing?” chuckled y/n.

“Well to be honest, I kind of always wanted to say something, but I was kind of nervous,” Jack admitted, his eyes glued to the table as he twiddled his thumbs.

Y/n blushed as a grin formed on her face, “why would you be nervous?” She asked, a boost of confidence surging through her, causing her to take his hand into hers. They met eyes from across the small table between them, and the two felt something that couldn’t be explained. They weren’t sure what it was, but they weren’t scared, they were the opposite in fact. In that moment, Jack and y/n had truly never felt more comfortable with anyone, even if they were strangers.

“I’m not sure, you just have this thing about you. You walk around with confidence and it’s intimidating, but sexy and…. I’m sorry,” he began.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she told him, giving his hand a squeeze, “thank you, for thinking I’m sexy I mean. I think growing up in the city is what taught me the whole ‘walk with confidence thing though. If you don’t you get run over trying to get out of everyone’s way,” she laughed.

“I mean while we’re being honest here, I thought you were really cute as well. I’d watch you a lot just sit there and write in your journal and play with your nose ring.” Y/n’s cheeks grew rosy with her confession.

“Oh really?” He smirked with a smile on his face, “Is that why you’d always stand behind me? So I wouldn’t catch you?”

“Okay maybe..” Y/n dragged on, “what do you write in that journal anyways? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Jack reached into the bag lying by his feet and grabbed the tragedy book, holding it up by his face, “This is my song journal,” he proclaimed.

“Oh, I see,” y/n said, mostly to herself, “so can you sing me something?”

“No,” Jack said, “absolutely not.”

“Why not?”

“Because one, there’s like maybe one good one in here, and two, a lot of them aren’t even done.”

“Oh please, I’m sure that’s not true, you write in there everyday, there’s got to be at least a whole Grammy- winning album in there,” she said, reaching for it. Jack pulled away, putting his hand higher in the air, out of reach.

“Maybe some other time,” he proposed with suggestive eyes.

“Another time? Like as,” y/n started, “in a date?”

Jack’s eyes went wide, worried he had ruined it and suddenly began looking at the table again.

“What? I mean, only if you want it to be,” Jack mumbled as he shrugged and raised his brows.

“Calm down,” she laughed, “I would love to go on a date with you.” y/n said with that giant, adoring, shit eating grin on her face again.

Jack relaxed once again and his own confidence began to rise, “Great, what about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow sound perfect!”

They both began to get up and walk back to 63rd and Madison where they part ways.

“So?” Jack questioned, “Where should I meet you at?” he joked, laughing as y/n just rolled her eyes.

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sybariticnomad · 5 years

Text

BNHA Prompts I want to read/write

>Ghibli AUs- literally any of them would be great but especially Princess Mononoke rn

>Rival School Gang AU- Bakusquad gang vs Dekusquad gang. Don't fuck with Uraraka bc she’ll wreck you w a smile. also Deku totally is one of those people who angry cries. Drama ensue when canon villains are really just out of town school gang that tries to take over their town and squads gotta unite whether they like it or nah. Featuring all might, Aizawa, and co as concerned teachers, detectives and whatnot that just wanna see these kids safe and sound

>Uraraka grew up on wrong side of the tracks AU- doesn’t necessarily have to be completely au, just that Uraraka growing up poor incorporating some of the less glamorous parts of being poor so she’s seen shit and done shit and wants to do good for the world now so no one else has to go through what she went through. I just want this to be a part of her character background so bad. Just scenes with her encountering villains or smalltime gangs and being like “dude we were neighbors I went through the same shit you did fam. Don't do this.”

>Uraraka using her anti-gravity quirk to do what hulk did to Loki in the first avengers movie and everyone being fuckin SHOOK. (can you tell who one of my main faves is yet? lol)

>A fic about ua kids literally being that, Kids. Shenanigans, Movie nights to binge the Rocky series only to end up too pumped to sleep so they all start training like crazy(Bakubro included), youtube channels, Todoroki secretly being messy af and joining the Tea Party where the ladies plus Todoroki spill tea and throw shade EVERYWHERE (all the best news comes from there), Bakugo growing and awkwardly trying to show his appreciation for his classmates and also awkwardly trying to mend his relationship with Deku (teen angst at it’s best and Deku is unsure of how to handle it but Uraraka and Kirishima help the dumbasses), Mina and Uraraka explore their sexuality together bc fuck you if they aint bisexual queens at the very least, Uraraka being one of the few willing to back talk Bakugo so she passive aggressively gives him nicknames like he gives her until he starts calling people by their names(like sweetie bc his sweat smells like burnt caramel, he calls her peaches sometimes bc of her country accent and a couple of other things if ya know what I mean) and eventually the whole class gets in on the nicknaming stuff and Bakugo is Sick Of People Stealing His Shit, Urarakas twang and Todoroki’s education in modern slang because explaining to him what being messy means and spilling tea is funny af (he starts using it all the time in a super awkward way “I believe that this situation calls for some messy retaliation” with long deadpan stares), how many of these kids can't wink and just give you long awkward blinks, teacher appreciation day gifts that get all the way out of hand (Aizawa gets the benign noise cancelling headphones and death wish coffee and then someone sends him a bottle of tequila and he wants to know which fucking child got a hold of alcohol to both admonish and thank them. Poor all might gets all the medicine, who’s idea was it to give present mic a loud mic and youtube channel why he’s already too loud please make it stop), someone gives Bakugo spicy chocolate cookies for valentines day and he doesn't want the sentiment but hot damn those cookies are fucking delicious, the kids get into American music because present mic recommends it to help with learning English and that's all fine and dandy until the kids start hosting death matches with Denzel curry’s Ultimate as the match song and wow how many of these songs have so much profanity please stop (just because you’re swearing in English kids doesn't mean some people still won’t know you’re swearing), Sex Ed Class for the kids (wow what trauma, what drama, Aizawa you are not giving the sex ed seminar they will get too scared. you will monitor Midnight as she gives the lesson. All might go have a cup of tea and try not to think of the kids having sex because golly they’re all still wee babes), Teachers shipping students and other staff lounge gossip, Spin the bottle truth or dare where the dare is always make out with the people you want to fight, Momo is cleaning out her closet and giving away clothes so please let the mad fight over who can get more clothes from her giveaway ensue(Uraraka is poor and on a mission, who know when she’ll be able to get clothes as nice as these again? she might enlist the help of some of her guy friends and she might also float all the clothes she wants to the ceiling out of reach of anyone else), BNHA girls using snapchat and momo’s closet to recreate Beyonce music videos and killing it (I really just want to see 7/11, the suck on my balls shtick, and Sorry because it’s a whole lotta friends hangin out and being sassy), WHO LET THESE KIDS WATCH South Park. y’know. Shit like that. Wow this bullet point got way out of hand.

>Night Vale AU 1- Fuck you it’s Tododeku. Todoroki is obviously Carlos with his perfect hair and perfect teeth. Uraraka is totally dana, Deku is of course Cecil, Aizawa might be station management? Might be old man Jenkins. Whatever it is I'm here for it.

>Night Vale AU 2-Alternatively its the cast of bnha just in the wtnv universe and their day to day lives dealing with night vales weirdness. do as you please.

>Underground Fighting/Fight Club AU- What It Says On The Tin. BNHA kids doing illegal underground fighting stuff and do with it what you will.

>Oresama Teacher AU- I know I keep being super aggresive but still fuck you I think mafuyu and Uraraka would be able to flip flop each other or alternatively, mafuyu is urarakas grandmother and she taught Uraraka all the ways of badassery minus the fighting stuff bc she old

>Fantasy AU where for once Uraraka actually is the badass witch and not just the confused amnesiac- also What It Says On the Tin. Bitch can kick some ass.

>Adventure Time AU- For shits and giggles bc I said so I suppose. I think the bnha characters in that universe would be funny af with just the right dash of angst/drama.

>Assassination classroom au- what it says on the tin.

>The Myth Of Hades and Persephone AU- featuring your chosen bnha ship. Imma leave mine out of it because the one I would prefer to put in would probably yield a lot of hate and I don't want my preferred ship to get in the way of anyone ignoring these prompts and not writing them? idk imma leave mine out but y'all get it.

More to be added at a later date bye lmao

#bnha #fic prompts #uraraka ochako #mha #midoriya izuku #deku #katsuki bakugou #kirishima eijirou #mina ashido #todoroki shouto #wtnv #studio ghibli #midnight #all might #south park #rocky #adventure time #mezo shoji #i'll add more as i think of them

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starksimaginationcreations · 3 years

Text

I didn't know that it would be this hard,

In 8 years I put up a hell of a guard.

I Never knew my walls where built so High,

Because of That little girl, we never asked Why?

People didn't see how sad this momma was,

My soul walked around as if it were the cause.

Most of our loved ones didnt know we split up

They were too busy living.

I should have packed my things and all my jewelry rings.

Instead I trapped myself with the monster,

I Even convinced myself full of wonder.

How do you love someone who isn't ever around?

This person will make you smash to the ground.

Each argument held thoughts of Evil,

You easily snuck into my family like a weasel.

They believed your every word.

Too bad, half the things you said where absurd.

Your lies held so many empty promises,

At 18 years old I definitely wasn't the smartest.

Negativity rose through you like volcanic acid,

You put me in my own casket,

Without even realizing it.

Mental abuse is just as bad as physical.

The ways you would play with my brain,

made my mind in the state critical.

I don't miss how you where always so Blue.

And you'll regret the day you told my little girl "Mommy Doesn't want you."

So many unnecessary actions ,

Running away became my instant reaction.

From that first time you chased me down Winterdale road,

In me Fear was noticable .

Wrapping me in an unfamiliar embrace, I wasn't used to this new face.

Only 5 words.

Words that should have been soothing,

Came from your lips like you where the "New King."

"I WONT LET YOU GO."

I cried out in need of someone familiar,

Your squeeze could have killed her.

Your arms where larger back then,

And I remember from the last time I prayed amen.

You took me to North Carolina,

We should have just went to China.

The trailer was perfect, but not a single thing that happened was worth it.

My insecurities got me thinking about my appearance,

I spoke into the distance.

I'm Fat" escaped my big mouth,

Soon enough everything went south.

The trailer was demolished.

We had to repolish.

You didn't even blink when you picked up the couch.

I should have noticed you where a big Ole grouch.

Wholes filled walls and DVDS covered the floor,

AlthoughYou did a whole lot more.

My body was too sore.

Anger is one with you,

This is one of the reasons we are through.

But that was 8 years ago,

Now days, I'm always in a rush to run from you.

I had just turned sixteen years old.

At 49 years, your stories will always be told.

Foolish of me to fall for your rebels,

I was a child who didn't know about many battles.

Atleast, I'd have to agree,

There was a way out for me.

At this point in time,

Your words became a rhyme.

With every demand,

I bowed down to your slick command.

When I was sixteen I thought I had fell inlove,

But the devil himself rose from above.

Your horns pierced through my soul,

And by the 8th year I lost all control.

You never cared about my heart, you just didn't want to be alone or left as one part.

Your Obsessions reached right to the bone.

My heart will need to be re-sowed.

You made me let go of important people,

Your grasp on me was deadly and Lethal.

It was only you that created my frown.

Sometimes I hoped you weren't such a clown.

But with all our chaotic madness,

I fell into a large hole if blackness.

I hated Khloe Lea with a passion,

So much I could have thrown her in acid.

That's what you did to me emotionally,

Physically is a story for those who talk socially .

Because they all knew the rumors,

Everyone believes the good old Dufton and his humors.

What did he do that was so bad?

How about taking a better look? my bad?

For when I was Only seventeen,

He fed me methamphetamine.

I became addicted and found myself a victim.

SHAWN DUFTON was a foolish man with a thought out system.

We began to drink more than i like to admit,

The first time he put his hands on me,

You wouldn't believe it.

We still raised our glasses for a toast,

Of coarse the first thing you said got put on a post.

For maybe 4 years, I delt with so many tears.

You smashed things in anger,

I had to admit to myself this was danger.

But my mind played with my heart ,

And I tried to leave but couldn't part.

Deep down in me,

there was still a beating heart.

I had trained my brain into thinking ilovedyou.

Foolish child, you only saw what was dangled above you.

Promises of a fairy tale love,

You never cared, only gave me some shoves.

The bathroom door came with me to the floor,

I landed on a heater, and got some burns on my back that lasted a year or more.

You always told me to open up.

But your ears wherent big enough.

The friends I made, you took advantage of.

I couldn't have girlfriends that wouldn't help you get it up for them.

You where seductive,

Too bad I was abducted.

By a real man who knew exactly what I was going through.

He had the same problems, and you put him down because he did better than you

He knew I was gonna commit suicide, younever let tell about my time.

Opening up to him felt comfortable.

Being around him the first couple times was emotional.

He held me when i cried and opened my eyes to see your disguise.

The torment I endured, soon was cured.

By thi who knew my worth.

You'll never hurt me again,

Because he will ruin your pride to no end.

Fuck around and you'll be sorry.

My daughter will soon be with me and maybe I'll give her a sister to play with in a safari.

I hope you realize the damage that you've caused.

When I grow with a glow you'll know

That in the end you should have paused.

Thought about what you could have prevented.

Maybe then I wouldn't have been arguementive.

But don't get me wrong,

We just didn't belong.

In a relationship that took years to figure out.

I was Only 16

should have listened to that doubt.

My heart doesn't ache for you anymore

because soon enough,

You'll be alone with only your hand to play.

Furthermore, let me apologize.

For the things I kept secret and on the side.

Don't think you have the upper hand in this war.

Mama's bear is coming for her cub.

And if you try to give me a lug,

This new man of mine will give you a slug.

Dont play with my new confidence.

Bc I'll have 900 reasons to bring my Prince.

Don't mess with a game you don't know how to play.

Bc this Queen will turn your ass into Clay.

That little girl deserves to be happy.

Not sit around and watch you age crappy.

She'll have smiles for hours,

And she's young so she'll forget all about you.

We where supposed to be a team, a family of three,

Instead you broke me to my knees and now I have to ween.

Like a baby, I cry some nights

Thinking about how we got into those fights.

Infront of a 2 year old who only seen mommy and daddy playing mean.

Deadly we where , let's let this one go before we begin to lure, another black whole that will suck me dry.

I just need some healing time.

To cure myself of the pain you gave me for a long while.

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cloverbasket4-blog · 5 years

Text

Mickey Johnson: benched on his high school team to NBA journeyman

MJ is back with the Bulls.

Sometimes he thinks about his high flying days, the dunk contests, the triple doubles, the time he embarrassed Dr. J, the full court flights of fancy and fancy flights, taking that rebound and gliding full court, a sprinter's body with a player's intentions.

MJ leaned back, the warmth of the bright Los Angeles sun enhancing the reverie. He was traveling with the Bulls last week on the Western Conference road trip, offering a little advice as an inspirational figure and taking some time to visit some of his famous Hollywood friends from back in the old days.

"Doing some ambassador work for the Bulls," Mickey Johnson was saying. "They've allowed me to talk to some of players, offer some advice. I'm very appreciative of being able to be in this position."

No, he isn't that MJ; in fact, he was known as Rubber Band Man in a 12-year NBA career that was perhaps the most unlikely in a world of unlikely stories. "Actually my nickname in high school was BC, which meant Bony Child," Johnson said with a laugh. "I was 180 pounds my first year in the pros, 6-10 and 180."

And 40 years before his time.

Magic come into the league and I was able to guard him; I was fast enough. Magic couldn't guard me on the post up.

Mickey Johnson

Wallace "Mickey" Johnson was probably the first point forward in NBA history, though no one knew it then or quite knew what to do with him. And not only because he couldn't make his Lindblom High School team and paid his way through west suburban Aurora College trying to achieve his goal of getting into a Sears training program. But could he run, a world class sprinter in high school with a guard's ability to handle the ball and a big man's size to finish. Mickey was unique, a round peg in a very square era of NBA basketball.

You know, 6-10, you get by the basket. Little guy, you dribble.

"The game I played was what they are doing now, Scottie Pippen, KD," Johnson said. "I was just as good as the guards bringing the ball up. I was fast and could run all day, not like a typical big man at the time. That's 1975, 1976. The problem was the coaches didn't know what to do with me. I remember Norm (Van Lier) told me if I don't pass him the ball he wasn't passing it back to me. I told Norm, 'I get the ball first with the rebound. I really don't need you to bring it up and pass to me.'

"It was totally different for a big man back then," added Johnson. "Players now are slimmer and can handle the ball, things I was doing in the 70s with big man moves inside. Magic come into the league and I was able to guard him; I was fast enough. Magic couldn't guard me on the post up. But the coaches didn't understand."

Still, Johnson averaged more than 15 points for five consecutive seasons, culminating with a career high 19.1 in 1979-80 with Indiana. That was even after being benched when the team traded for an aging but popular George McGinnis. Johnson was among the league leaders in scoring at the time of his demotion and still ended the season as the team's scoring leader.

Though he never could quite escape the stigma of being from the University of Nowhere, the NBA still something of a caste system. C'mon seriously, Aurora College?

"My biggest problem probably was first time something went wrong it always was, 'Mickey didn't have the experience because he went to a small college,'" Johnson recalled. "When we lost to (eventual champion) Portland in '77, I had a bad game first game (eight for 25 for 19 points and 10 rebounds). Maurice Lucas took advantage of me, but I still led the team in scoring for the series (27.3 per game along with 13 rebounds). I was always an outsider. But I never played for the money, but that love and respect for the game. Nobody can ever say Mickey held out for this or that, cried about salary. I just played. Seeing the world from the bottom up and not top down. A lot can happen in your career, but you try not to take it personal. Do what the coach wants, be there for your teammates. From humble beginnings you can reach greatness, but that greatness can also bring you back down if you let it. It's one of the reasons the Bulls asked me here."

1978: Mickey Johnson poses for a portrait.

Johnson accompanied the Bulls on their road trip at the invitation of coach Jim Boylen, who is encouraging players to understand and appreciate their ancestors. Mickey took the opportunity to spend some time with his old buddy from the Temptations, Louis Price.

He's one of those veterans who perhaps may help the Bulls get ready to find their cloud nine. Cliff Levingston, Horace Grant, Scottie Pippen, Toni Kukoc and Bob Love are some of the former Bulls bring in various ambassador and supporting roles for the team.

Boylen receives some kidding about his fondness for talking about pride in the organization, Bulls on their chest. But players like Mickey Johnson can help deliver an appreciation for the game and perhaps some perspective on where they've been and where they are going.

Especially considering Johnson's excellence in the NBA over a decade despite the most unlikely roots and a vision to give back beyond basketball.

Mickey once ran for alderman in his home 24th ward North Lawndale neighborhood. He was a coach at Malcolm X College and has run a successful business, Concerned Pest Control, and worked for the county sheriff's department for almost 20 years. He's been a citizen advocate, a businessman and motivational speaker.

He also was believed to be the only player ever to block Dr. J's dunk and one of the few to have intercepted Kareem's sky hook

"Bill Willoughby and myself are the only two to have caught the sky hook out of the air," Johnson insists. "Did that twice and Willoughby once.

"I had some hops," Mickey says with a bit of a smirk.

"You didn't dunk much back then unless you had a clear path," he said. "They'd knock you down. If you dunked you had to get out of there real quick."

Johnson was quick. He also was one of the dunkers when CBS in 1977 after that first NBA dunk contest following the merger with the ABA had a season long dunk contest at halftime of its game of the week. It was won by Darnell Hillman over Kareem, though Johnson had an array of 360s, reverse and off the backboard dunks winning in earlier rounds.

"My biggest asset, though, was my ball handling ability and speed," he says. "I was faster than most guards. I used to run the 100 as a college sprinter in maybe 10 seconds, a little less. Used to lose in the finals."

It's a heck of a sprint from a simple life on the tough West Side for a kid from a large middle class family, his dad a postal worker, who couldn't make his high school team.

"Made it my sophomore year only, but didn't play," Johnson recalls. "Coach basically wanted me to be the water boy. Played one game my sophomore year. I kept trying out and didn't make it. Played YMCA basketball, summer ball. I guess the coach just felt I wasn't talented enough. I was disappointed, but I wasn't mad. No hard feelings. He did his job. I did the best I could."

It's an equanimity that masks an athlete's heart.

They weren't scouting Aurora College then, but my stats lured some professionals...I still didn't think I'd make it. I just wanted to make the best of an opportunity if it came.

Mickey Johnson

Mickey played around the neighborhood like just about everyone else, even on a team for the high school coach who always cut him.

A neighborhood man organized a team and they'd venture out to play small college teams, like Judson, George Williams, Rockford, Aurora. Mickey could score and run down a deer, and he was now close to 6-8. Aurora coach Roald Berg said he'd help him get his degree.

"You wanted to get a college education, a job, a family and all that, typical American life," Johnson said.

"The other coaches just looked at me as a ballplayer. Coach said if I come there he would help me in trying to get a degree," Mickey said. "That's why I went there. No scholarship, NAIA Division 3. Class enrollment of maybe 600 students on and off campus. I stayed on campus to work, construction and janitorial work; my mother gave me about $300 to help. I majored in business administration and economics and got my degree. My goal was to get a job at Sears to be a buyer. I put in my application after graduation."

"What happened was (Bulls) Coach (Dick) Motta had his basketball camp there and I worked for him in the summer," said Johnson. "They weren't scouting Aurora College then, but my stats lured some professionals. I averaged 26 and 20 for four years. I wasn't getting any big publicity from the major newspapers. A couple of scouts came through going to see Billy Harris (Chicago playground legend from Dunbar High School at Northern Illinois). So they stopped to see me. One had dropped a note on the floor. My coach found. It said I couldn't make the pros.

"I didn't really feel I could make it until my senior year," Johnson agreed. "There was a little more publicity and I began to feel I'd have an opportunity. I still didn't think I'd make it. I just wanted to make the best of an opportunity if it came."

Mickey Johnson looks to move against Larry Bird.

It's something of a lesson plan Boylen also delivers these days. Take advantage of your chance. Look at Mickey.

Johnson was a surprise fourth round selection of the Portland Trailblazers in the 1974 draft, though they would cut all their draft picks other than Bill Walton. Motta remembered the kid who helped him out, so he offered a conditional third round pick for Johnson, meaning he'd have to make the team. It was more charity since Motta didn't want to keep Johnson; didn't believe he was an NBA player. Expected to keep the pick.

"He said I was a nice young man and he wanted me to have the experience of being in a pro camp," Johnson said. "He said he only had me there for a taste for the money. I made about $500 a week. It was great money. He rescued me. But I never took the Sears thing off the table. I still wanted to be a buyer, and I was working in the post office to make some money."

Johnson was last man among rookies that included highly regarded Cliff Pondexter, Leon Benbow and Bobby Wilson. Motta wanted Johnson out, but he wanted Mickey to make that decision.

"He had me run suicides, three under 30 seconds," Mickey recalled. "Then he made me run three against each individual rookie; that's nine and the three for 12. Then he made me run three more by myself in under 30 seconds. But I still did it. I wouldn't give him the excuse to cut me. I passed out. It was raining that day. Motta to this day doesn't know I passed out. I'm laying on the ground outside passed out in a puddle. He wanted me to quit, but I wasn't going to give him a reason. It's what you learn, things I can pass on."

Then good fortune came his way. Bob Love held out, Pondexter was hurt and another draft pick, Maurice Lucas, went to the ABA. Then early in the season, Motta as he was wont to do went berserk when Bill Hewitt missed a layup and the Bulls lost to the Bucks. Johnson got his job.

Mickey rarely played as a rookie as the Bulls lost in the conference finals to the Warriors. But Chet Walker retired after the season, Love held out again, Pondexter was hurt again, and Johnson hung on again. Johnson got a start and never gave up the job with the Bulls.

Mickey Johnson drives on Robert Parish

He averaged at least 15 points the next four seasons with the Bulls with that unique style of play, the speed and elusiveness that is custom now and was a mystery then. He would average 14.1 points and 7.2 rebounds over those 12 seasons. Not bad for basically never having made a high school team.

Johnson went to Indiana in 1979 as one of the first free agents from the Oscar Robertson agreement that included the ABA merger. He had his best season until Indiana went sentimental. Then he bounced around, though still a unique player who played all five positions at times, Draymond Green with a shot. He posted triple doubles, played point forward for Don Nelson in Milwaukee, ran for Johnny Bach in Golden State. He finished up with the Nets in 1986 as MJ was making his mark with the Bulls.

Johnson, 66, was working around Chicago when Tina Berto with the Bulls asked if he's help with a speaking engagement. "They wanted someone else," Johnson says. "They didn't know who I was. But I told them some of the things they didn't hear from NBA players. They liked it."

So have the Bulls and Jim Boylen. Mickey Johnson showed himself and the basketball world and it's a model for these Bulls. If you never give up, you never know how far it will take you. MJ's back where he belongs.

Source: https://www.nba.com/bulls/features/mickey-johnson-benched-his-high-school-team-nba-journeyman

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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