I responded to a post from someone I don't follow, which was reblogged by someone I do, that was along the lines of "That chronic illness feel when you don't wanna get out of bed all day," or something. I said, "All. The. Time."
Cue a vicious psychic and verbal attack from this bully who clearly doesn't understand how Tumblr works and expects everyone else to read their "about me" and remember all their triggers... At a time when I am already really hurting and vulnerable.
Having conditions and triggers does not mean it's okay to be abusive to others. I hope you know that this caused a sobbing meltdown and brought back a ton of my trauma, plus caused nightmares... for doing NOTHING WRONG- agreeing with you. FFS! And then I kindly and nonconfrontationally tried to ask you about it, to clarify, and you ignored/blocked me. WTF?! There is no excuse to treat people this way. The rest of the world doesn't have to follow your particular, over-controlling, obscure little rules.
And... holy crap... O.o
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(gonna just copy/paste a tweet of mine, since i think ppl need to hear this on here as well.)
a reminder to all minors & morality policing adults:
you are not the authority on what is 'morally' correct in regards to enjoying evil fictional characters.
even when they have characteristics you find personally reprehensible.
your experiences are your own, and the way they colored your views are 100% valid. they always will be.
but you can't judge someone else for their own.
you don't know their mind & their experiences, nor are you entitled to know them for 'verification'.
to minors: i hope you grow and learn how to respect others, despite any differences in opinion or taste.💖
to adults: your views aren't universal, & you'd better check yourself before you hurt the wrong person and end up causing irreparable damage.🫵
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Legolas: *asks the only female advisor in the room for her opinion*
sexist asshole: why are you asking her about emergency measures? she's a woman!
Legolas: yes, and it's because she's a woman that managed to make it all the way to the role of adviser, despite the heavily patriarchal society, that i know that she's more qualified to be here than any of you. So calm down, sugar tits, and let the professional speak.
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Meltdowns aren't tantrums.
Burnout isn't procrastination.
Stims aren't pointless.
Shutdowns aren't just lack of attention.
Verbal shutdowns aren't a "silence treatment".
Hyperfixations aren't useless.
Special interests are more than obsessions.
Phobias aren't regular fears.
Panic attacks aren't controllable.
Self-harm isn't a trend.
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the mental image of shidou approaching kazui from behind like "oh, mukuhara, i had to ask you-" and kazui turns around with red eyes, fangs, and a lil blood on his face, which makes shidou give the highest pitched little yelp and nearly stumble back and fall on his ass. amane will NOT let him live it down. she saw. she saw how he screamed like a girl.
Sorry to hold onto this for so long but Thank You I was laughing so hard at this!! 😂 When I originally wrote that comment, I was picturing the easy targets like Fuuta or Haruka -- it was so much funnier to catch Shidou unawares...
Shidou rubbed two fingers to his temple. He didn’t know why filming had been starting so early the past few days. According to the schedule, Muu and Kazui were already up and working. Milgram’s team had a doctor on their staff already, but Shidou liked to be around just in case -- even after a night cut short on sleep.
It should be noted that horror films had absolutely no effect on Shidou, so joining the children’s scary movie night had not been an issue. Rather, Fuuta hanging out in his room to talk, “not scared at all,” for hours afterward kept him up. He hadn’t pulled such a late shift since he’d been working at the hospital.
“Hm… some coffee may do me well…”
He didn’t usually indulge in the drink, but a small cup of it sounded good at the moment. Now that he was working on quitting smoking, he may as well pick up another habit in its place...
The break room was dark when he arrived. He had to blink after exiting the bright white hallways of the facility. He was tempted to flick the lights on, but Kazui and Amane seemed perfectly content in the dark. The light may have been too harsh at this time of morning.
Kazui had his back to the door, pouring some coffee. Amane sat at the table off to the side. She was picking at a small breakfast. The whole scene felt... off somehow. Kazui was still in his pajamas. He never left his room like that. Amane's eyes followed Shidou all the way into the room.
“Good morning.” Shidou greeted her with a bright expression. She kept her face straight, moving some food around in front of her. She stayed silent.
“You’re certainly up early! It’s very admirable.”
No smile.
Shidou’s expression wavered. The thought of scary movies still in the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but imagine this as a scene straight out of one. Amane’s grim silence in the darkness. Her intense green eyes fixed on him from across the room. He was glad for Kazui’s presence, else he might have actually been unsettled.
He tried to ignore his grogginess. There was nothing strange happening.
“Ah, Mukuhara. Is there enough coffee for m-eugh!”
Kazui spun around, and Shidou found himself face to face with a monster.
His eyes were slitted, like a wild animal’s, and bright red. Even in the dark, Shidou could clearly see the vibrant irises. There was blood spattered across his face, and his chest. He opened his mouth, revealing gleaming fangs.
But the voice that came out was just as laid-back as usual.
“Oi, Kirisaki… I forgot I was already in costume. Looks pretty realistic, huh?”
“R-right.” Shidou willed the shock away from his face. He realized with horror he'd taken a full step backwards. He hurried to close the gap again. “The team did a good job…”
“I’m bringing Muu some coffee while she gets her makeup done.” He lifted the cup in his hand, which had a coating of what Shidou now knew was entirely fake blood. Kazui’s smile was a bit crooked, revealing one of his fangs. He had the decency to ignore the mortifying sound that had just come from Shidou’s throat. “There should be plenty left for you, if you wanted.”
“Of course, of course. Thank you.”
“Sorry if I surprised you,” he said. Kazui brushed by him, unable to stifle a little chuckle.
Shidou dragged a hand down his face. He exhaled, glad to feel his pulse returning to a normal rate. His mind was far too scattered this time of morning. He glanced over at Amane.
“I suppose you think this is funny? My surprise is merely a compliment to the makeup department.”
She kept her gaze on him. “No, it’s definitely funny. You jumped halfway across the room.”
“It was one pace backwards.”
“It was a huge jump. Plus, you screamed like a little girl.”
Now, she smiled.
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Bonus pumpkin if you need it!
(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚🎃
“…PRACTICE…cause…” normally he was aces at ignoring being yelled at. Actually listening normally meant responding which was a great way to get hit more. ‘Keep your trap shut’ is his self-directed version of his dad’s favorite warning to ‘stay down!’
“…JAMIE…” and he fucking jumped. It wasn’t even like he thought someone was calling his name. That would require a response. He knew it was just his name being referenced. Couldn’t repeat the sentence back but his body paid attention to sound cues when his mind refused to do it. Being talked to versus talked at is very different.
He was generally on autopilot for this whole part. Most of the time he wasn’t trying to piss someone off so much that they felt compelled to take action. Roy didn’t count, breathing too hard could set the man off. But he still pissed enough people off that he had a whole system down. For when it was normal people, at least. It was a whole other system tailored to when it was his dad.
But his name was just yelled, by a man standing over him, -that had power over him- only a few hours after his da’ finally fucked off. His brain was treating it differently this time. Which he didn’t appreciate at all. It was something the doc had warned about, when Pep made him check in with a brain doctor the year before.
A flashback. He was having a flashback. Or lots of mini ones cause it’s flickering, right? Dad, Ted, Dad, Ted. They weren’t really nothing alike. He’s never once thought Ted was gonna deck him. But their faces were mixing together and then Ted was raising his hand.
Why was Ted blurry?
Oh he was crying.
That’s bad.
And then he was on the ground because he’d flinched back so hard he fell on his ass in front of everyone. Maybe he could just lay down and die here. But a shadow moved towards him and his fatalism got shunted to the side.
“I’m sorry! Fuck. I’m normally much better at being yelled at.”
“What? No, no Jamie,” it was Ted. Of course it was Ted. If his dad had been there his brain wouldn’t have let him talked out of turn like that. “I’m apologizing-”
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