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#incorrect hobbit quotes
incorrect-lotr-trash · 31 minutes ago
Sam: Are you feeling okay? Where’d your freckles go? Frodo: Huh? Oh no, winter just makes my freckles fade. Sam: I see... [ later on ] Sam: *beating the snow with a shovel while angry mumbling* Give. Mr. Frodo. His. Freckles. Back.
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elvish-sky · 7 hours ago
Aragorn: Call the hobbits, they’re not listening to me.
Boromir: I’m not their dad!
Aragorn: Just do it.
Boromir: Ok guys! Line up, let’s move out!
*the hobbits immediately start following him*
Boromir: no listen LISTEN i’m not their-
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gamgeesgarden · 11 hours ago
Bilbo: You have no idea what I am capable of!
Thorin: Don’t take it personally, but I feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.
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satoichi · 15 hours ago
Kili Trying To Help Catch The "Traitor"...—
Kili: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Thorin: Alright.
Kili: TraitorSayWhat?
Bilbo: Excuse me?
Kili: What?
Kili: No wait—
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meteors-lotr · 15 hours ago
Tilda: I'm Tilda, I'm Legolas' step sister. That's not my real name though, it's just a nickname.
Elrond: So what's Tilda short for?
Legolas: Her genetics, I guess.
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incorrect-lotr-trash · 16 hours ago
Bofur: Ugh, my life's the worst! Bilbo: Here's a piece of candy. Bofur: Yay, I love candy!
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Bilbo: Kili is missing, can you find him?
Thorin: What do you expect of me? That I have him microchipped or something?
Bilbo: Well, do you?
Thorin: Yeah, hang on.
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elvish-sky · a day ago
Gimli: You’re pretty dumb.
Legolas: Thanks
Gimli: Why are you thanking me? I just insulted you.
Legolas: All I heard was “You’re pretty.” I’m focusing on the positives in life.
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midearthwritings · a day ago
Naya, arm wrestling with a struggling Kíli: Awe look at that, he is about to beat me...
Thorin: What is he trying to win?
Dís: Another night at the tavern.
Thorin: Stop playing with him.
Naya: *smashes Kíli's hand onto the table*
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meteors-lotr · a day ago
Pippin: Gandaaaaaalf, Merry called me a bitch!
Gandalf: Stop being a bitch then.
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Eowyn, dreamily: Take me to an art museum and hold my hand. Faramir: Touching the art is forbidden. Eowyn: You smooth Motherfucker.
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incorrect-lotr-trash · 2 days ago
Frodo: I really like you too, Sam Sam: Frodo: Sam: Frodo: Sam: *Slowly pulls a huge binder out of nowhere* Frodo: What-what is that? Sam: Just my plan for our Wedding. I've been preparing it since we first met. Sam: I already promised Gandalf he could set off fireworks.
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satoichi · 2 days ago
Thorin: There are three ways we can do this; the right way, the wrong way, or the Thorin way.
Bilbo: Isn't that also the wrong way?
Kili, whispering: Yeah, but faster.
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elvish-sky · 2 days ago
Aragorn: I’m well aware that I’ve accidentally set myself on fire and it’s none of your buisness. I don’t need your pity water, either. Let me burn in peace.
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beenovel · 2 days ago
Thorin: It’s a war zone around here. What happened?
Bilbo: Well, Fíli and Kíli-
Thorin: Ah, that makes sense.
Kíli *off to the side*: Hey!
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gamgeesgarden · 2 days ago
Balin: So, where’s your happy place?
Thorin: I’m in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Inside it’s just me and that stupid, slimy Azog. And I’m beating the hell out of him. I break a dining room table over his head. Then I rip off his arm and shove it where the sun don’t shine. Then I reach down his throat... and shake his hand.
Balin: Yeah. Okay. I’m going to go ahead and schedule you for a psych eval.
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