isfjmel-phleg

[isfjmel-phleg]

I feel a lot of things that I don't like tonight, so I am going to tell you about one thought that crept up on me recently that was good in a way that took me aback.

I was thinking about my grandfather, my mom's dad. When I was sixteen, my mom and siblings and I went to stay with my grandparents while my dad was in Iraq (...again). It was a really stressful time, and a lot of unpleasant things were happening, like Grandpa dying from leukemia.

I was in high school and homeschooled, doing video lessons. Every day started with a Bible class, which meant singing a couple hymns along with the class on screen. They would have one of the boys in class lead the singing, and they never sang in keys I could hit.

So I would be in the living room every weekday morning, caterwauling out the day's hymns, and Grandpa would come in from his room, which was just a hallway away, and say with complete sincerity, "I hear angels singing."

I always felt kind of...well, not quite embarrassed about that, but I was painfully aware that my singing was not good, that I could do better, and I didn't deserve such a remark. After all, he had one daughter who's a coloratura soprano and two others who are also excellent singers, and yet he's telling his unmusical, untrained granddaughter that she sings like an angel. He was just saying it, right?

And I don't know why I was thinking about this recently, but it suddenly occurred to me: he really did like it. The point was not whether I was good at singing (and I wasn't). The point was that it was his granddaughter singing and he liked hearing that because...he loved her. And "I hear angels singing" was another way to say that.

And yeah, that sounds completely simple and obvious, but I guess I'm not used to thinking of things from that angle? without trying to argue myself out of it? and somehow it seems a very novel idea to realize that being valued not for doing everything just right but because one is simply loved is a real thing? like in real life? like a thing that can happen to me? I guess? if that makes sense?

#random personal stuff #tl;dr long-winded personal story

[isfjmel-phleg]

last song listened to: "Extraordinary Machine" by Fiona Apple (which I tend to think of as an Elystan song)

currently watching: Nothing very steadily. Very slowly going through the new A T L A with friends. Might occasionally be in the mood for rewatches of random other stuff.

currently reading: At the moment I am between books. Although tonight I was seized with an urge to thoroughly reread Damage, which I don't have time to do right now, which is annoying.

currently obsessed with: The usual. I've got about a gazillion drafts of comic analyses piling up as thoughts occur. Right now I'm a bit mentally distracted with work problems, but I'm sure something will come along soon to redistract me.

favorite color: Still burgundy/maroon!

tagged by: @brown-little-robin thank you!

#tagged #brown-little-robin #random personal stuff

[isfjmel-phleg]

GRETA'S COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!

(in The New Golden Age & Stargirl: The Lost Children, both announced today!)

#comicsposting again #GH: I'd give anything to be normal #beautiful work! #(it was so good to see her in this series but where is she now? whom did she get handed over to?)

[isfjmel-phleg]

I like the doctor I've gone to the past couple of years, but I tend to feel odd going to him because his particular area isn't relevant to much of anything that's going on with me physically, so this year I am going to someone else, who will almost assuredly subject me to being touched and stabbed with needles, which should be just all kinds of Fun. May even have to argue with her about not needing That Kind Of Exam, but I must go, lest I secretly have some horrible illness and then keel over one day and be a Burden on work and insurance. Very important.

#random personal stuff #maybe I'll get Doctoral Approval this year for Feeble Attempts At Walking And Running For Exercise

[isfjmel-phleg]

All right, you asked for it!

Summary:

Book 1: A chance foray through a door on the other side of the blackberry bushes in her grandparents’ garden leads Rachel Doncath to meet Rietta, the young queen of Faysmond. As they gradually befriend each other, the differences between the girls create complications that get more out of hand as Rachel gets caught up in the conflicts of Rietta’s life, including dealing with a regency council that is determined to remove Rietta’s mother from the picture and control Rietta further as she nears her majority, while events unfold in the neighboring nation of Corege that unexpectedly leave fourteen-year-old Delclis king.

Book 2: About a year later. Prince Elystan of Corege has ruined Amarantha Melbray’s life. Not only does he monopolize her mother (his nurse), but he also provokes Amarantha to an act that destroys her chances to convince his mother to restore her art school scholarship. But when an unexpected calamity traps Amarantha and Elystan in the same residence, they must work together to unravel the mysteries around them. That is, if they can trust each other. Or anyone else.

Book 3: About a year later. Three perspectives entertwine. Tamett Lockridge, paid companion to the Crown Prince of Lienne, made the mistake of taking part in a disastrous deception, and now the king is sending both his son and Tamett off to Hollingham College,a boarding school in far-away Corege. As if being a servant to a prince who hates him isn't bad enough, Tamett starts to realize that there's more to his position than he bargained for--and to suspect that someone is using him. Elystan Liddick, former Prince of Corege, has been sent to Hollingham too after a treasonous attempt to discredit the half-brother who is responsible for stealing the throne and executing Elystan's beloved father. School is supposed to keep Elystan busy and out of trouble, but his mother doesn't realize that he's not about to accept anything less than his birthright--through any means necessary. Finally, Josiah Callon, Crown Prince of Lienne, would rather keep it quiet, even from his companion Tamett, exactly why he's been sent to Hollingham in disgrace and why his formerly adoring father doesn't want him to come home even on holidays. Josiah is determined to win his way back into his father's good graces, and he's prepared to do anything to achieve this, no matter the cost to himself. But is this even achievable? And how far is he prepared to go morally?

Book 4: Delclis Phemister hates being King of Corege, and as he nears his eighteenth birthday, which will land him in full responsibility for the nation, he becomes increasingly desperate to get out of the position. It's not as simple as an abdication, however, and as the worldwide political situation grows precarious, Delclis will be faced with some very difficult decisions and alliances that he could never have anticipated.

None of these are even remotely finished (...or, in some cases, even started), but this is the current intention. There are also a number of short stories that supplement the main stories.

Characters: There's a crash course in OCs here! Also some more detailed overviews of Delclis, Amarantha, Elystan, and Josiah (the other protagonists' overviews are coming on their birthdays).

World: It's basically an alternate Europe around the turn of the twentieth century (equivalents of other continents exist too in this universe, but at the moment are not the focus of the stories). The fictional nations roughly correspond to one or more real-world nations, but the point is really just allowing me to play with a setting I find historically fascinating while not using any actual historical figures. Although the political situations are important--a lot of the protagonists and their families are royalty, after all--the focus is on smaller things, seen through the perspective of the young OCs. In some ways, I want the stories to feel like portal fantasies without the fantasy. Book 1 is heavily inspired by the imagery/aethetic of the original Oz books (the colorful Art Nouveau capital city of Faysmond!), with a little bit of The Secret Garden thrown in. Book 2 is also Secret Garden-inspired, but from a different angle, with some nods to classic mysteries and gothic fiction. Book 3 is my homage to Wodehouse's school stories. Basically it's the result of my love of early twentieth-century children's books and of royal history thrown into a blender.

You can find more detailed worldbuilding stuff here.

Thanks for asking! I hope this makes some kind of sense.

Erm, hello, yes, erm, it is I, with a request, to all my mutuals and followers and those I am following.

(long post up ahead, you guys!!!)

You all have a bajillion OCs and a hundred worlds and billion-million-gazillion stories and etc etc etc

I'm hungry to consume more media.

I want all of you to reblog this and:

a. give me a summary of your stories [it's alright if you've got half a story or just one or just twenty-thirty-hundred in a multiverse. yes you can go crazy about your stories, as crazy as you want. yes you can be absolutely chill about your stories. whatever you want]

b. tell me about your characters [maybe you've got a handful; maybe you can literally count the number of characters you've got on your fingers; maybe there are wayyyyy tooooo mannyyyyy. go mad about them, be chill about them, talk trash about, rage, sob, ramble about them.]

c. tell me about your world(s) [vibes, ideas, well-thought out political systems, severely or sparsely detailed geography, anything you like]

Btw, it doesn't even have to be a proper, well-thought out story. Maybe it's just vibes or characters or anything. Literally anything. This is a free space to brain-dump about the things that plague your brain.

THERE IS NO PRESSURE IN THIS REQUEST!!! YOU ARE IN NO WAY OBLIGATED TO TELL ANYONE ALL OF THIS <3 <3 <3

Please reblog this, even if you have no stories of your own or are unwilling to respond to this post. Again, no pressure.

Thank you for reading this!!

#replies #seeking-elsewhither #The Blackberry Bushes

[isfjmel-phleg]

I'm sick of internet negativity, so let's combat it: reblog this and saying something nice/pay a compliment to the prev in the tags.

#I always appreciate your kindness and insight

[isfjmel-phleg]

I'm sick of internet negativity, so let's combat it: reblog this and saying something nice/pay a compliment to the prev in the tags.

#I love your humor. I love your creavity. I love your sincerity.

[isfjmel-phleg]

🌋

#random personal stuff #personal whining ahead feel free to ignore #it's sinking in that the increase in the displaying of these 'jokes' at work is related to our boss no longer being here #it can't have been a coincidence that the picture in the inbox went back on top the very day we threw her her goodbye party #apparently this man thinks that she was the one who was pushing back against the nonsense? #and maybe she was - I don't know what went on between them #(though I always got the impression that she seemed a bit afraid of him for whatever reason and just let him do whatever most of the time) #but I'm tired of having to put up with this and angry at the situation in general #and I really will go and talk with the VP of Academic Affairs once I can get some advice from my communications major friend #so I can avoid just walking into her office and exploding #(I don't understand this I don't understand why he feels the need to display these images in the office & always about this now-completely- #irrelevant topic and even if it were relevant the 'jokes' are juvenile and mean-spirited and I know he thinks he's doing the Lord's work in #picking the kinds of books that he does but tell me exactly how this garbage is the Lord's work and what he thinks he's accomplishing with #this other than making himself look petty and giving me further cause for frustration because it isn't just the stupid pictures it's the #pervasive attitude behind them that I have had to deal with for years now and I wish I were a different person so I could get right in his #face and tell him that this is unacceptable and expect to be heard and regarded)

[isfjmel-phleg]

Early in Young Justice 1998, we're introduced to Burt and Ellen Hayes and their concern over their son's increasingly violent and defiant behavior. The glimpses we get of the Hayes house show photographs of younger Billy prominently displayed in the entryway and living room. Only photos of Billy, none of anyone else, or of the family together. It's like he's the only member of this household who matters--it's a visual shorthand, perhaps, for how much sway he has since his parents are afraid of him.

(Young Justice 1998 #5)

Much later, we learn that this is Secret's family, and in the flashbacks we get of her childhood, not only is the living room awash in shades of pink (a color associated with her) rather than the blue we see after her death, but the photos are different. They all feature Greta at various ages, sometimes with her parents. There are no visible photos of Billy even after he is adopted.

(The photo in the panel on the right is harder to spot--it's right over Burt's shoulder.)

(Young Justice 1998 #42)

There's not really any evidence that the Hayeses favored their biological daughter to their adoptive son (in fact, Ellen seems to think that her husband has been too lenient with Billy), but they clearly loved their daughter a lot, and her home was a place where she felt she belonged (hence all the pink--she blends right in). After her death, it probably was too hard to have pictures of her around, so the Hayeses did some redecorating that reflected the change of tone of the household.

#comicsposting again #GH: I'd give anything to be normal #also note how changes in Ellen's hairstyle indicate the passage of time #every panel above in which she features takes place years apart

[isfjmel-phleg]

this fox is going to stay mine forever <3

image description: an unglazed porcelain sculpture of a fox being held in its maker's hand. The fox is sitting and looking forward with a grin. It is painted pastel pink and orange; its cheek has a red star on it, and its tail has a red heart on the end.

#brown-little-robin #I can see why you're keeping this one #it's quite charming <3

[isfjmel-phleg]

Good morning, I've got a sour grapes reply email from a colleague whom I had to tell that we couldn't find a lender for the newly published book he requested, and the other guy finally moved the obnoxious picture to the bottom of his box...because he reprinted it and stuck it on the bulletin board along with another picture in a similar vein and I am internally screaming.

#random personal stuff #...I ripped both of them off and ran them through the shredder #honestly this isn't funny #and it's about something that is no longer an issue #sorry you didn't like having to do a particular thing three or four years ago sir #why are you still going on about it now #and wasting our paper #at this point if he prints them out again and puts them back up I will keep taking them down

[isfjmel-phleg]

At the end of Young Justice 1998, the only other member of Greta's family who is still alive is her mother, Ellen Hayes. We find out in #54 that Ellen is in a mental institution and is considered to be not in any condition to be reunited with her daughter, even after Greta is restored to life.

We don't know exactly when or why Ellen has been institutionalized, but when Tim (as Robin) comes to tell her about Greta's defection to Darkseid and subsequent rampage of revange and to ask for her help, Ellen is presented as severely mental ill. She is kept in a straitjacket in a padded cell, she is disoriented and unable to focus on what Tim is telling her (and he proceeds to repeat his story for--it is implied--at least the third time), and she refers to being on medication. Tim attributes her institutionalization to her having "been through a lot." This is true. Her daughter has died from what looked like a horrible accidental electrocution, the morgue was unable to restore the girl's body to the family for some unknown reason, her son who already had a history of violence grew so psychopathic that she and her husband were afraid of him, her husband shot their son and never explained why, and she divorced him and moved out of their old house. That's a lot of tragedy.

(Young Justice 1998 #54)

Does a response to all that tragedy necessarily warrant measures on the mental institution's part that suggest she is considered a danger to herself? Hard to say. Since this is the last time we see Ellen, we don't really know much about what's going on with her. But I'd like to examine her case in light of the mother of another YJ member, who is similarly thought to be psychotic, and in light of some things we know about Burt Hayes in the aftermath of family tragedy. Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this.

At the end of The Ray 1994, Nadine Terrill has been through a lot. Her house has been destroyed by her ex-husband's son from a previous marriage (Joshua, whose appearing to be eight when he should be nearly fifty is unexplained). She has suddenly become responsible for this child. They have been attacked by a sentient computer program that wants to kill her ex's nephew and had to flee for their lives. While staying the night with Nadine's friend, Joshua accidentally destroys that house too, killing Nadine's friend and injuring Nadine. At the hospital, her ex shows up and tells her that he cryogenically froze Joshua for decades after a similar accident killed his first wife, and that's why he was so against Nadine's having a child, who would inherit the same dangerous powers. This is too painful for her to hear, and she tries to leave.

Her ex's light-based powers mean that he can make himself selectively invisible and pseudo-telepathically make himself heard in her head. So he continues his story even after she leaves even though she begs him not to. From the perspective of bystanders, she appears to be yelling at someone who isn't there.

And when he tells her that he lied to her about their son being stillborn--her baby, her only child, whose grave she wept over while her husband watched remorselessly--she violently lashes out at him.

By the time the police arrive, he is invisible to them, so she looks like a madwoman delusionally attacking someone who isn't there.

By the time Ray (who's not really her ex's nephew but her longlost son) catches up to her, she is in a padded cell in a straitjacket, like Ellen Hayes.

Nadine is perfectly sane. She's been through a lot of trauma and heightened emotion, but she still has her grasp on reality. But thanks to the unusual nature of what's going on her family, her reactions are taken out of context and no one will believe the improbable-sounding truth.

(The Ray 1994 #28)

With that in mind, let's look at some things we find out about Ellen's family's situation.

Right before Burt Hayes fires the second shot that kills his son, he comments that "your mother's going to kill me."

(Young Justice 1998 #5)

A very natural and understandable response to one's spouse killing your child, and we later learn that Ellen left Burt because of this. Is it possible that in her grief Ellen might have lashed out similarly to Nadine?

Minus the seeming to interact with someone who isn't there, but...

While in prison, Burt Hayes gets possessed on and off by Billy, who is now a sort of evil spirit. Burt is unaware that this is what is happening; all he knows is that he blacks out occasionally and "sometimes I think I'm losing my mind."

(Young Justice 1998 #52)

Billy uses this possession of his father to convince Greta that her father no longer loves her, and presumably also to commit other evil acts. And since he targets his father in this way, it is entirely possible that he has done the same to his mother, leading everyone around her to conclude that she has lost her mind.

Her disorientation and inability to concentrate could be the result of being kept sedated, which could be the medication that she refers to. There is a possibility that, like Nadine Terrill, Ellen Hayes is simply a grief-stricken woman whose response to tragedy with explanations outside of normal reality has been misunderstood and not believed, resulting in her institutionalization (which would also function as a commentary on how issue of women's mental health have historically been mishandled, but that's another issue).

Or perhaps she is truly mentally ill. Perhaps losing both children and knowing that her husband killed their son was too much to handle. The last we hear of her in the narrative is from Tim, who tells Greta that he's seen her mother and "she's...not well." That hesitation before describing her state is very telling.

(Young Justice 1998 #55)

But at the same time, Tim presumably has only met with Ellen once and couldn't know the entire situation.

The narrative seems to want the reader to conclude that Ellen is simply severely mentally ill, too incapacitated to reach out to her daughter. And it's entirely possible that that's the case. But with the limited amount of information we have, there's also room for the possibility that there's more to her story than meets the eye.

#comicsposting again #GH: I'd give anything to be normal #RT: born with the light #(I don't have tags for either of these moms so I'm using their kids' instead)

[isfjmel-phleg]

@valiantarcher this is the peacock fascinator!

There are a lot more ostentatious ones out there; it took me some searching to find something that was relatively less over-the-top.

#random personal stuff

[isfjmel-phleg]

Hi! List five things that make you happy; then, if you'd like to, put this in the ask box of the last ten people who reblogged something from you and spread some positivity ✨💙🌺

Starting a new book

Putting together the pieces of an analysis

The hummus etc. on naan "pizzas" that I'm about to go make

Peace and quiet in my house

Working on something tactile for fun without any expectation of needing to "get a good grade" in it

#asks #lady-merian #thank you! #random personal stuff

[isfjmel-phleg]

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first ten people on your dash? make sure someone gets a hug today! 🦋🍃

I prefer not to pass things on, but I do appreciate the hug and send my love in whatever form is best to everyone <3

#asks #lady-merian

[isfjmel-phleg]

🌻🍃🍄 send this to ten people you’re happy to see every time they pop up on your dash/notif and wish them a good day 🍂🐿️✨(no need to spread this if you’d rather not, but you should know that you’re appreciated!)

Thank you! The same to you!

#asks #lady-merian

[isfjmel-phleg]

see right through me

#comicsposting again #GH: I'd give anything to be normal #the expression is just right excellent job!