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linghxr · 4 months

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My 2023 in Mandopop/Chinese music (update & recs)

It’s been too long since I last shared some music recommendations/updates on what I’m listening to! Admittedly, I haven’t been discovering as many new artists because I’m busy listening to 薛之谦 on repeat. But we'll focus on the new.

You can check out my Spotify playlist featuring these songs (plus bonus ones). In addition, I’ve included YouTube links below.

五月天 / Mayday 五月天 is a legendary band, so of course I knew of them and had heard a few of their songs over the years. But I never proactively sought out their music until recently. I still haven’t had time to dive into their back catalog, but I’ve already found some songs I really love.

《我又初恋了》 I actually really didn’t like this song the first time I heard it, but it wormed its way into my brain. It’s just a lot of fun! Non-serious songs can be good too.

《转眼》 My favorite 五月天 song <3. I’m probably too young to fully appreciate the lyrics, but they make me feel so nostalgic and bittersweet, like transitioning to a new chapter of life and leaving the old behind.

《因为你所以我》 This song didn’t stand out to me at first, but it grew on me! I caught myself humming it a lot. It‘s kind of corny, but it sounds so full of hope.

陈奕迅 / Eason Chan I first started listening to 陈奕迅 a couple years ago after my Album a Day August challenge, but I’ve found that his music has grown on me over time. I believe I’ve only mentioned him once before, so I thought now was a good time to highlight my favorite of his songs.

《之外》 This is probably my favorite 陈奕迅 song. The lyrics convey a sense of hopelessness, but the overall song has a smooth, light sound.

《娱乐天空》 You know a song is good when it’s over 6 minutes long but feels like it flies by! It makes me want to get up, get moving, and be productive.

《烟味》 This song is dramatic, and I love it for that. Also has a hint of orchestral flavor.

《淘汰》 One of 陈奕迅’s most well-known songs—for a good reason. It has big Cpop ballad vibes but is definitely livelier.

白举纲 / Bai Jugang You’re going to notice several mentions of 披荆斩棘 in this post. That’s where I “met” 白举纲. I instantly liked his voice and loved seeing him with his “brother” 高瀚宇 and “dad” 张晋! You may also see his music under his English name, Pax Congo.

《被动失控》 This is the only song on the list you could headbang to.

《Shy Boy》 I love this song because it’s cute and includes a children’s rhyme that I learned as a kid: 找啊找啊找朋友找到一个好朋友.

苏诗丁 / Su Shiding At some point last year I did a one-month free trial of Apple Music. It was an interesting experience because the recommendations were very different from what Spotify tends to show me. I’m glad Apple Music led me to 苏诗丁!

《LUCIFER（傲慢宗罪）》 All I can say is that this song exudes coolness and confidence. It also has a fair bit of English, but honestly I had to look up the lyrics to tell what some of it was.

《梦幻病》 This song is from the same album. It’s dreamlike but gets more frantic as it builds. Overall, it’s just a bit…unsettling.

队长 / Young Captain I learned about 队长 from a random post on Instagram about his concert in Malaysia. I think these songs might have gone viral on 抖音 or something. I was surprised I liked them so much because they both have some rap (I’m not a rap fan), but it was love at first listen.

《11》 I love how this song builds towards the end. I spend the whole song waiting for the crescendo, and it’s great payoff.

《楼顶上的小斑鸠》 This song is like the slightly mellower sibling of the one above. But I ended up liking this one even more.

金志文 / Jin Zhiwen 金志文 was another artist who Apple Music recommended to me. I definitely need to explore his discography more but haven’t had the chance to do so yet. But he has some good stuff so far!

《自娱自乐》 Smooth and relaxing but in a fun way. Simple and no-frills but will put a smile on your face!

《远走高飞》 This one feels like enjoying the breeze on a beautiful sunny day. I also enjoy the duet with 徐佳莹 version.

163braces 163braces started out as a YouTuber posting song covers. I have watched a couple of her covers, but they didn’t leave much of an impression on me. I was pleasantly surprised by her foray into original music. I look forward to hearing what she does next!

《控制》 The song I would want as my “soundtrack” if I were a video game character. It’s energetic and loud.

《murmur》 Honestly this song is pretty similar to the first one. Sometimes I have trouble distinguishing them. But hey, if ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

小鬼 / Lil Ghost 小鬼 did what I can best describe as “pulling an MGK” by going from more rap to kinda pop-punk? That MGK album was my guilty pleasure when in came out, so I’m all for 小鬼’s new direction.

《Last Day》 This song really gave me MGK vibes. It’s about half in English, but I often don't even notice when he switches between languages.

《不良少年》 I just know I would have loved this song so much in high school. It’s an angsty teen anthem.

《为明天写封信》 I can totally imagine this song playing at the end of a 2000s teen movie! Maybe while showing a montage of the main characters graduating.

《无所求必满载而归》 by 陈粒 / Chen Li This is technically cheating because I have recommended 陈粒 songs before, but it was at least a couple years ago. I heard this song covered on 披荆斩棘的哥哥 and immediately looked up the original. Honestly I should have known it was a 陈粒 song because you can totally tell it’s her style.

《轻红》 by 曹杨 / Young I keep coming back to this song! It’s from a drama soundtrack. I was super surprised the first time I listened to it because I thought it was going to be a typical ballad based on the first ~45 seconds or so—it wasn’t. There is also another version by 陈雪燃 (the king of cdrama OSTs). But I actually prefer the 曹杨 version.

《时光机》 by 吴克群 / Kenji Wu I was introduced to 吴克群 via 披荆斩棘2. He was instantly one of my favorite contestants after his team’s amazing 《新地球》 performance (check it out). This song is bouncy and a little dreamy. I kinda want to hear a remix with Harry Styles’ As It Was. I just wish it were longer than 3 minutes!

My Spotify Wrapped

I have a tradition of sharing my Spotify Wrapped, and I wanted to continue the streak in some form. So here's a quick rundown.

Top genre: 华语流行音乐 Representative city: Taipei Minutes: 21,750

Top artists

薛之谦 / Xue Zhiqian

林宥嘉 / Yoga Lin

五月天 / Mayday

李荣浩 / Li Ronghao

陈奕迅 / Eason Chan

Top songs

《木偶人》 - 薛之谦

《狐狸》 - 薛之谦

《骆驼》 - 薛之谦

《转眼》 - 五月天

《后来的我们》 - 五月天

Also, fellow Mandopop fans should check out the Mando Gap newsletter. I stumbled upon it this year, and I know it’s going to be a great resource for discovering new artists in 2024!

#chinese music recs #cpop #c-pop #c pop #mandopop #chinese music #chinese #mandarin #mandarin chinese #chinese language #studyblr #langblr #learning languages #language learning #chinese langblr #mandarin langblr #languageblr

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zialltops · 10 days

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honeysuckle’s & huckleberry’s

masterlist | ao3 | spotify playlist

You chance a glance over at the outlaw in the driver's seat while he scans his surroundings like he’s done this before, the rear view mirror and the road ahead never leaving his sight. “What if they catch up to us? I don’t want to get arrested, Joel!”

a/n: howdy folks! I’m pulling my head out of my ass and getting back into writing. These last few weeks have been leveling put for me and I’ve been feeling a lot better compared to how my life HAS been. These two were the perfect break even though this took my two whole months for only a few thousand words. I’ll be back sooner than last time with an update, but you’ll see me before then for another wip. Much love, hayhay 🤍

Chapter 8: What Was I Thinkin?

Three hours ago, if you asked Joel how the night would come to its end, he’d tell you he’d probably be in the cabin, laying in his cold bed, staring up at his ceiling fan, alone—with his right hand working his dick to the tune of the farmer’s daughter. In fact, three hours ago, he’d told Tommy something similar.

“Joel, man—I promise It looks fine.”

He adjusts the buttons on his shirt another time, stuck between leaving one undone and letting the opening linger down his chest. “Fine ain’t gonna cover it, Tom—ain’t no way in hell I’m walkin’ up to her lookin jus’ fine.” Tommy huffs from behind him and starts to go through the closet beside Joel while he stares at himself in the body length mirror behind the door.

“What about this one?” Tommy beams, He’s holding up a black shirt on a hanger, slight dust on the shoulders from it’s lack of use. He’s half surprised the moths haven’t gotten to it yet. Its buttons are made of iridescent pearls that snap in place, labyrinthian embroidery adorning the breast pockets. “Ain’t worn it since before the accident.” He lifts one of the sleeves in his hands, lingering on the fitted cuff.

His mind takes him back to half forgotten nights under neon lights, long neck bottles and ropers calluses on his rodeo-worn hands. To money wasted on buckle bunnies and broncs, to years taken off his life under the sharp hooves of a one ton animal—years he’ll never get back. Years he wishes he’d never taken for granted.

He was a more confident man then, not cocky—but proud of his abilities in the arena, proud enough to walk tall, speak surly. He was a master in his sport because he trained religiously, fully immersed in the idea that this was his only shot at making it. He still believes that, even now. He wishes you could have met him then, when he was that Joel—Rodeo buckles and spurs, cowboy hats and stadium lights. When he was a white straw hat and chaps, an unsullied grin with a thirst for adrenaline and belt buckles.

He holds the black cotton between his well worked fingers and longs to be that man again—if only for one night. Would you like him? A cowboy in his prime with worked muscles, before his beer belly and the softness in his chest really set in? “This one’s good,” he huffs, brushing the dust off the shoulders before unbuttoning it enough to remove it from the hanger. “Lemme help you.” His brother offers. Joel’s not naive, he knows the fear is visible atop the surface of his flushed skin, in the deepened frown lines and the shake in his hands.

Tommy is a lot of things, but once in a while he softens around his selfish edges and he bends a little, reaching out for the weeping limbs of his brother, struggling with all his might to keep himself standing up straight in the storm, a resilient and irrepressible figure to look up to. Tommy sees the way the longing shines through the perforations in his irises, the way his shoulders slump with oppressive burden—and he takes pity on the older man. “I’ll wash it real quick while you shower. It’ll be good as new, fresh outta the dryer by the time you're done.” He looks up at Joel, who’s still transfixed in the forgotten token of his former youth, of the man who he used to be. Items he’d left in storage down in Austin that Hank had so graciously shipped to Jackson.

He almost wishes he’d never gotten it all back, it was easier then—to hide from who he was when he wasn’t reminded of his past every single day, but once in a while—that reckless, spotlight chasing cowboy grasps for the surface. And tonight? Tonight is your birthday, the town dance, where you’re going to be, probably looking like something Joel doesn’t have a shot in hell with. It’s your damn birthday and he wants to ask you to dance but he’s not sure the fee quick dance lessons he got will suffice. What if he stumbles? Steps on your pretty little feet? Drops you?

“Joel—“ there's a snap in front of his face and he pulls himself out of the chaos inside of his mind. “Man, you are loosin’ it. I’ve never seen you this wound up over some girl—“ his eyes snap up to his brothers and he huffs lowly. “She ain’t just—some girl. She’s Hank and Lou’s daughter, people I think of as family. She’s smart and resourceful, sometimes a little reckless but she makes me feel like…like I’m alive for once.” Tommy sets the black shirt down and sit on the side of Joel's bed. Beside him, Joel's weight sinks onto the mattress. “M’gettin’ old, Tom. I don’t have a lot of good years left in me and I don’t know if I’ll ever have a opportunity like this again.”

Tommy takes a glance over at the distant look in his brothers eyes. “Opportunity?” Joel's eyes flick over and he sighs. He wishes Tommy had a little bit of what he had built inside of him, the innate goal of settling down, finding where he belongs and who he belongs with.

“At bein’ happy. Good memories for my restless nights.” If he fucked this up and missed his chance, he’s not sure he’ll have it in him again, if it will ever feel like this with anyone else. He thinks he’s done, thinks you’re it. He thinks he could give you forever if you’d let him.

“S’that why you’re so messed up in the head? What, do you think she’s going to shoot you down?” Tommy’s voice picks up in pitch, offense used like a weapon to get his point across and Joel appreciates the gusto. “Think I’m gonna go home alone tonight. Think it’s just gonna be me and the crickets and this damn hand again, dreamin’ bout how damn sweet she is.”

Tommy’s hand reaches into the breast pocket of his shirt and he retrieves a silver flask, offering it to his older brother who takes it with unsure fingers. “Just be yourself, man. Walk up to her like you belong there. Just need a little bit of confidence, don’t let her think you’re second guessing yourself. I don’t know her like you do—but I know that girl is more than willing when it comes to you.”

Joel takes a long swig of rot-gut whiskey, lets is sink into his bones and find the will to drag himself into the shower and wash away the saw dust lingering on his skin from the floor of the dance hall, ease some of the soreness in his knees and back from learning how to dance.

When he’s finished, there's a clean shirt and a flask laying on his bed. Joel finishes off the whiskey before he fastens the first button.

Liquid courage is the only thing that gets him to town.

He’s everywhere—everywhere. His hands burn on your thigh, on your hip where they dig in just a little too roughly when he pins you to the wall beside the back door. The second it closed behind you, there was a desperation clinging to the early spring air, perforating the slight chill until it shimmied beneath it and took life in the form of heat dripping across your exposed flesh. It was sticky and hot, sucking you in like a vortex straight to the center of what your world revolved around—Joel Miller and his touch that feels like fire.

He tastes like alcohol and tooth paste and part of you wonders if that’s what's changed about him, why he was so willing to let go of his reservations in-front of half of the town. He’s been drinking, drowning his insecurities enough to throw himself at you bravely.

Will he still be this Joel when you open your eyes in the morning? Will he regret it?

His teeth dig into your bottom lip and your brain goes fuzzy, stars forming behind your closed eyes. Insecurities can wait until tomorrow, you decide. His hips press forward ever so slightly and the outline of his cock can’t go unnoticed, not with the way it makes the fabric of your panties drag against your clit tantalizingly. Behind your closed eyes, the stars morph into crackles of fireworks, filling your senses with bright pleasure and desperate desire to chase those lights into the night.

You hike your legs higher, trying to drag him into the delicious delirium with you. The movement pulls a guttural groan out of the broad cowboy. “Joel—Joel,” you need his hands to leave brands on your skin where they’ve touched you, setting fire to your soul. “I know—fuck, baby, I know.” Is he crumbling like you, throwing himself into this very moment right here? Is he as desperate as you are? Does it feel like a travesty and a triumph? The yearning you’ve endured, for the victory of finally knowing what he feels like when he kisses the breath from your lungs.

It’s more than you know how to articulate—more devastating than you anticipated and yet—it’s still not enough. It won't be enough until his heart beats in time with your own and you feel him wrapped up in your body

His teeth dig into your jaw and your body reacts before you tell it to, searching for the release only he can bring you.

“Touch me, please—please, touch me.”

And suddenly, in the time it takes to flip on a light switch, he’s gluttonous, insatiable and voracious—a wild predator set loose just to turn on its careful handler. The only thing that comes to mind, in comparison, is a pack of wolves frenzied to sink their teeth into the supple flesh of their prey.

In your case—Joel is the starved pack—and you? You are but an unsuspecting doe, practically sacrificing yourself to his uncontrollable famine.

Those thick digits, adorned with callouses earned from laborious work, hastily push aside the fabric of your dress in search of your covered center. He feels so fucking good when those digits push their way past the hem of your panties and he gasps against the shell of your ear. Like it feels just as good to him, letting the pads of his index and middle finger tease the seam of your lips before slipping between and dragging those rough digits over your hardened clit. It’s all the built up want, longing, needing that makes him feel so other-worldly, you’ll never experience something like this, the rush of relief to finally be his.

His fingers dip lower, searching for the source of all this slick adorning his knuckles, when his thumb drags idly over your already sensitive clit. Its like an electric shock straight to your sternum, arching you forward in search of anchorage to this reality altering interaction. There's a hint of alcohol swimming behind your fluttering eyelids, but his shuddering groan is sickeningly sobering. You want to say something, tell him how good he makes you feel, but the words bubble up in your chest and hang in your throat in the form of a silent sob, your mouth hanging open and your toes curling against your shoes.

“There it is, huh? S’what finally gets you quiet? Just needed me to touch your pussy, didn’t you?” Where the hell has this Joel been hiding? He’s never been so vulgar, so vocal and confident in himself. His fingers tease the soft ring at your opening, smearing slick around on his fingers when he leans against your front to press his face against your heaving chest and neck. His fingers plunge in—and your body jerks against his solid form. He lets you shudder and tighten up against him while his thumb moves steadily, never coming off the peak of your nerve—locked on it with such perfected percussion that there is no jerky catch, just steady—drowning pleasure. His rough pant of breath paints your shoulder in sticky warmth and your thighs tighten around him, begging to draw him into your desperation.

“She’s just cryin’ for me, ain’t she, Honey?” His drawl sounds like sweet tea on a hot summer afternoon, like your sight set on the Austin sunset from the seat of an old saddle, driving cattle through tall grass and endless horizons.

Being touched by Joel Miller feels like coming home.

He finds a steady pace, working his fingers in and out, each drag punctuated by the ridges of his knuckles and the rough pads of his finger tips. Just faintly, you can make out the wet sound your sex makes every time he fucks his fingers into you intentionally. Its instantaneous the way heat blooms in your pelvis, knotting up in your stomach until you’re so overwhelmed, you’re trembling in his grip. “She’s so fuckin’ greedy, pretty little cunt needs to be stuffed, don’t she? G’damn, you’re quiverin’—you gonna cum f’me already?” His words are like a dirty secret, never meant to be revealed—knowing exactly what kind of storm that truth would bring. Let the rain pour down, let the thunder crack and the gusts rip the apprehension from your bones—because Joel Miller wants you and you’ve been waiting for this moment for two years.

You’ve imagined this a million times, slipped your fingers between your legs to the mere idea of this revered and dignified southern gentleman—more once you’d put a face to the elusive cowboy. No matter how deeply you lost yourself to your imagination, none of it will ever amount to the way cold brick feels against your exposed back, the way denim jeans ruffs up the insides of your smooth thighs, the way a felt Stetson bumps against your temple when his fingers curl against a spot inside of you no man has ever found, dragging the air from your lungs, robbing your vocal cords of their melody. With your eyes rolled back and your desire strung tight, you manage to string together enough sound to produce words.

“Yes-Yes, Joel—make me cum! Please!”

A third, assured finger slips in right beside the other two and slam forward, sending you spiraling down that one way path towards pure ecstasy. His fingers curl again and his thumb quickens, pushing you up and up until you’re sure you’re about to melt through his finger tips, a weeping puddle at his feet. “That’s it, pretty girl—cum on these fingers, let me feel her squeeze me.”

His command is your saving grace, the final twist that undoes the well wound rope holding you together. A variation of his name rips from your throat and consumes the space around you, invoking a bright euphoria that shrouds every nerve ending you possess. He doesn’t even know what he’s just subjected your body to—a life altering experience that you will never be able to recreate with another person. “S…s’the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” is the only thing your mind conjures up once you’ve come down enough to speak. He’s still holding onto you, slowly slipping his fingers out and letting you down with a satisfied chuckle.

“Wunna taste you,”

How will you handle another assault from that honed attention? How will you ever unsee that unruly tousle of curls between your thighs?

He doesn’t give you long enough to form a protest before he’s rushing you through the parking lot, a determination in his step that you’ve never seen. He’s surpassed the point of antsy when he yanks open the passenger door and finds leverage on your hips to hoist you up, then toss you down on the torn upholstery. You should say something—tell him to slow down before you pass out from the burn of his hands—but fuck you don’t want him to stop, consciousness be damned.

Instead, you watch him set his cowboy hat on the dusty dashboard, the silver trim of the band shimmering with luster in the golden street lamps. He drinks your body in visibly, relishing in every curve and inhale of breath. When his vision finds yours, they are nearly black with desire—his pupils having consumed every inch of bourbony brown. When his big hands find your thighs again, the resistance bleeds away and gives way to insurmountable, greedy hunger.

“C’mere, girl.” The hands on your thighs dig into the flesh, leaving finger shaped dimples in your sensitive skin. “Lemme see that fuckin’ pussy.” Jesus christ.

If your friends could see you now, they’d all laugh at how easy you are, but right now—it’s just you and your cowboy—you’ll never be anything but easy for him.

His hands move with fever, hastily pushing your dress up your hips. “I’m going to fucking ruin you, babygirl. Only word you��ll know is my name when I’m finished with you.” That same ferocious want consumes you, possessing your hands to work on their own accord, helping Joel shimmy your panties down your thighs and over your heels.

You have enough time to register the way he stuffs the black lace into the front pocket of his wranglers before that head of his is forcing its way under your dress. He spreads your legs easily, pushes and pulls with his hands until his mouth seals over your clit, drenching your nervous system in blinding heat.

He’s good, so good at this. His tongue slides through your dripping folds with a tedious, monotonous rhythm. He’s licking for a taste, for his own glutinous thirst based on the way he groans and sighs against the softness of your lips. His eyes flick up at the same time your body starts to quiver, trying to adjust to so much honed desire narrowed in on you. “J-Joel, please don’t st-top.” Your eyes start to leave his in favor of rolling back in your head when your chest arches out, searching for a breath of sobering air, for something to hold onto so you don’t crumble apart. “Feels so good—you feel so good.”

His mouth closes over you and he sucks, pulling your clit against the smoothness of his tongue as he flicks it over and over, soothing the sensitive bud, while actively robbing you of any coherent train of thought. The only sounds that leave your lungs are sharp gasps and whines, fueled by the low groaning sound he’s muffling between your thighs. He releases you and your body reels, drawing in breath after breath to catch up with your racing heart.

“Wunna split this little pussy open on me,”

Oh fuck, oh fuck fuck—fuck.

You have long enough to gaze down at him, watching as he slides the flat of his tongue through your lips, over the sensitive bud, before your head is dipping back again.

“I’ve been practicing—I got, oh, fuck Joel, like that,” you heave and he pulls away completely, shocking you into a mewling, whining mess. “You got what, baby, use your words.”

Your body bares down on nothing, /wish he would just give it up already, unbuckle that belt, push down those wranglers and fuck you like you deserve. Joel grunts while he watches, letting it rumble through his whole body. “Got a toy that’s as big as you so I could practice. So I'd be able to take you.”

His whole demeanor shifts, alternating from this brazen, confident cowboy to the man suddenly lost between your thighs, sucking and slurping, licking and moaning to himself. He’s gutless, starving and desperate, he whimpers when you squeeze your thighs and cry his name, holding on tight until the flash of blue and red and the sound of a loud voice rips him from his mission.

“Jackson Police department, step away from the vehicle!”

Joel rips himself away from your body before you even have a chance to cover yourself. “Fuck-fuck,” he looks around sharply, eying the lone officer in a tan blazer with flashing lights fastened to its hard top. The sheriff has a light in their hand, leaning over the side of the blazer. You manage to pull your dress down and scoot back, trying to hide yourself from the light shining on the two of you.

Joel's gaze falls away from the officer, parked behind the truck, blocking it in. Instead, he looks forward, into the clearing in front of the parking lot, half lit by the street lamp. His jaw clicks and he looks set on whatever is going through that big brain of his. “Put a seat belt on.”

What?

Joel grabs his hat and slides across the bench seat quickly, slamming the door behind him. He makes it across you and throws himself in front of the steering wheel, finding the ignition quickly to turn the keys in the shaft.

The chevy roars to life at the same time that he slams the gear shifter into drive and plows over the parking block. Before you have a chance to register what's happening, the blue pickup is sliding through mud and grass, leaving tire tracks in the field as he cuts through it towards the highway.

“Joel, what in the—fuck!“ you shout, reaching up for the oh-shit handle, while the other hand reaches for the solid form beside you, grasping him by the bicep as he snorts nervously. “Just—calm down for a second, we’ll lose ‘em.”

Your heart races and your nerves radiate through your entire body. You’re a good kid, you’ve never ran from the cops before, never been in trouble for crying out loud. You did your best in school, tried to make your parents proud despite your small side of rebellion. And yet, here you are—trying your best to hang on while he cuts corners and runs stop signs, old alleyways and back roads through the thickets. The truck roars past speed limit signs, loosing rodeo flyers pinned to telephone poles when he slams the gears—orange papers fluttering in the settling dust.

He snorts, taking another random left and speeding down the street. “Ain’t gonna get arrested, honey. Just trust me.”

Trust him? How could he even ask you that, like that wasn’t what this was all along. You trusted him like you trusted the sun to set and rise again, like you trusted the birds to sing and the rivers to run—you’d trusted Joel with your family’s dream and he never let you down.

Somewhere along the way, you lose the ability to fight off your grin, Joel manages to leave flashing red and blue in a cloud of dust. He cuts through a group of trees leading into a clearing and shuts off the lights. He drives by moonlight, effectively covering his tracks and making his way onto another road, leading up the mountain towards the ranch. He pulls off another dirt road that is cut out along the side of the hill, but he isn’t in as much of a hurry as he was before. He takes a last left, bringing the truck to the edge of the hillside that overlooks the entire town of jackson—from the dance hall—to the bar—to the red and blue set of lights on the south side of town, still looking for you and your cowboy.

The world grants you a few silent moments to catch your breath, before it completely robs you of tingling in your muscles, the conscious connection between the two of you. The reality of being truly alone with him is sobering, with nothing but the trees and the wildlife to offer a distraction.

Now that the air has cooled and your heart has finished pounding in your ears, you can make out the faint hum of the stereo, the FM dial lit up by the soft glow behind it. The station is still the same as it was when you were a girl, riding in your daddy’s pickup, playing old country music like it did in the days of your youth.

Now, it rings in your ears with the nerves seeping into your bones, settling into an uncomfortable dust. Right now, of all times? Anxiety has to claw up your chest and wrap around your throat while his saliva is still drying on the inside of your thighs?

Fuck, his beard is still glistening in the green-glow of the stereo.

“You’re starin’ at me.” He says almost quietly. You expected him to tease and flirt, maybe boast, but his voice waivers halfway through and you start to pick up on his slight nerve. Under all that charm and intensity is starting to give way to a much more vulnerable Joel—a man you know all too well.

“You’re just, uh—“ you swallow thickly and try to find the courage to meet his deep brown eyes. “Your beard is…wet.” When you do find his irises, his mouth picks up in a half smirk. If he’s as scared as you are right now, he’s doing a good job of hiding it. He’s giving it everything he’s got to hide it from you.

It’s been so long and you need this. Need to be touched, appreciated, worshipped.

The look in his eyes tells you that he’s eager to kneel.

“And who’s fault is that, hmm?” That sweet, sultry accent drags you in, sliding closer on the seat until you're nearly tucked into his side, leaned back against the seat while he looms over you. He’s still nervous, you can see it floating around in his dark eyes, but his jaw clicks like he’s trying to rein something in.

Silence falls upon you once more, but unbeknownst to the cicadas and the crickets, your dancing gazes say everything you need to hear. His eyes drop to your lips and yours to his. His tongue peaks out unconsciously, wetting his bottom lip ever so slightly—like he’s tasting you there.

His mouth clicks shut and it's then that you glance up. His eyes are back on yours, suddenly so much softer with a lulled arch to his eyebrows. In the depths of his eyes you find renewed hunger, fire burning in those pools of smooth chocolate. Your body relaxes, succumbs to the form of his plains of muscles adorning his body. When you tilt your head up to him in offering, you sink so deeply into those dark pools you can nearly taste the sweetness of him like velvety candy melting against your taste buds.

“Joel—“ you choke out, deciding then that if he waits a second longer you’ll suffocate.

There's things about this life that can never be stopped, inexorable phenomenons that are unavoidable. The seasons will always change. The storms will always come, lightning will always strike. The days will always end and the sun will rise again on the next.

And Joel Miller will always, always break when you say his name like that.

He falls into you with a sharp intake of breath, crashing his mouth against yours with surprising accuracy. It’s so easy to let him take over with the perfect combination of rush and savor he puts into the way he envelops you. His mouth is soft, but persistent, wrapping around your bottom lip when he sucks it between his teeth for a soft bite that makes you want to live in this moment forever.

You nearly do because you get absolutely lost in kissing him, you don’t protest when he leans you back on the bench seat, you don’t put up any sort of fight when he spreads your thighs with his wide hips. When his hands grip your knees, you know you’re completely done for.

He pulls away from your mouth and his eyes find yours in the low green glow and there, you find everything you’ve ever longed for.

“I…I think,” Joel shifts, looking down at his hands like he’s just woken up from sleep walking straight into your heart and soul. “I think I should get you home, s’gettin late.”

Late? Your poor muddled brain cannot keep up with how quickly he fades in and out of doing anything to have you, to be terrified to touch you. How quickly he slips into a starved desire to shaking in his boots.

Not for the first time, you wish you could reach right into his brain and pull out whatever it is that makes him think you don’t want those rough hands all over your bare body. He’s already had a taste of you, already kissed you—what more could be standing in his way?

“Home? Joel, we were just getting started—“ he clears his throat and sits up, trying to slide away from you but your heels dig into his tailbone and drag him back. “Started down a road we both know only leads to nothing but trouble and regret.”

What, the, fuck?

“I’m—you think this is a bad idea?”

The uncomfortable air settles back in between you and your legs around him loosen. “Think you're going to realize really quickly this ain’t what you want and this—I’ve got…too much on the line.”

He has too much on the line? What about the ranch? Your childhood home about to be lost to the bank? What about the dance hall where he’s built a new floor to make you smile? Does it all wash away with his assumed doom?

“What are you saying? This…this was a mistake? Joel I still have your fucking spit drying on my pussy and you—you regretted it already?” The realization feels like a dull blade straight to your gut, forcing it way in and twisting you from the inside out. It burns with shame and agony and you pull yourself out from under his sturdy build.

“I didn’t mean—I regret anything, fuck knows I don’t—“ no, no. You’ve given this man so much of yourself, committed so much to be thrown around and have your feelings stomped on.

“Then what the fuck does it mean, Joel! You—you made me cum while telling me you wanted to stuff my cunt but now you think this is…” you have a realization then, that maybe—just maybe, he does actually regret it. What does he think, you’d turn around and throw him out on his ass? If he truly thinks that low of you then maybe…

“This was a big fucking mistake.” You say coldly, making up your mind as you right your bunched up dress and adjust your fixed gaze on the passenger side window.

“Take me home.” It’s not a request.

It’s not an invitation, either, Joel understands as he watches you close the front door behind you later that night, settling his made up mind.

He presses his palm to his crotch twice and comes in his pants right there in the driveway, just like he knew he was going to.

And he feels like a fucking fool.

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #the last of us #joel the last of us #joel tlou #archive of our own #cowboy!joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller smut

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weirdwriter69 · 4 months

Text

Master Playlist Post

Here is a gift I would like to give the whole Ikemen Vampire fandom. I made playlists from all the suitors currently available in the English release of Ikemen Vampire. In each playlist, I took in account their route, backstory, personality, and the overall atmosphere the suitor has. I did my best to include a wide range of genres; however, most of the bands in them are labeled as rock or indie music. I will continue to update the playlists as I find more songs. Please let me know what you think! I hope y'all enjoy these playlists as much as I did making them!

(Tumblr won't let me show more than ten of the Spotify previews, so I did hyperlinks.)

Arthur's Playlist: A combination of punk rock and rock swing music to capture his inner turmoil and how he hides his pain behind alcohol and women.

Shakespeare's Playlist: A wild mixture of music across different genres to capture how Shakespeare wears many masks and his conflicted feelings about working for Vlad. (Ranges from Heavy Metal to Indie)

Dazai's Playlist: A whiplash clash of joyful music with sad undertones along with sad music with happy undertones. Dazai tries to play the role of the clown, but he knows more than he lets on. (Genre: They Might Be Giants is the best way to describe it)

Faust's Playlist: He questions his belief in God and the loyalty he has towards science while he tortures MC for the sake of love and pleasure (Rock with subcategories like Soft Rock and Sound Rock)

Charles' Playlist: He wants to know what love is, and he is willing to do anything for you despite all the pain of his self sacrifices. (Majority Rock)

Isaac's Playlist: He wants to be close to you, but he fears what would happen if he lets himself go. (Soft Rock with Indie)

Vlad's Playlist: He admires humanity, but his flawed love leads him to taking the moral high ground. (Metal & Rock)

Comte's Playlist: An immoral vampire who plays all as a noble, but who is he outside of the social gatherings? (Rock and Indie - There is a special easter egg in this playlist :3)

Jean's Playlist: Fighting with his vampiric self, he struggles to push for the next day. (Majority Indie)

Theo's Playlist: Passion for protecting the arts and rage blends to form the man before you; however, he has a soft spot for sweets and his brother. (Majority Rock)

Leonardo's Playlist: He likes to nap and keep an eye on the mansion, but just who is he? (Indie)

Vincent's Playlist: The happy angel finds himself unable to cry despite all the horrors he has witnessed. (Indie) Sebastian's Playlist: The only other human in the mansion is obsessed with the historical figures surrounding him. but he refuses to admit that he can more than just a mere background character. (Rock and Indie)

Mozart's Playlist: You disgust him at first, but the cold musician will warm up to you eventually. (Rock, Indie with some classical)

Napoleon's Playlist: He isn't sure why he came back as a vampire; however, as the first person you met as the mansion, he will keep you safe as he battles his inner demons. (Rock) Whew, thank you so much for looking at all these playlist. Please let me know what you think and how well they fit the suitors! Tagging those who seemed interested: @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @koco-coko @eyebagtree @olivermorningstar @yanderepuck @namine-somebodies-nobody

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tw33k-tucker · 1 month

Text

Smile! Your on the air

Doodle requests are open‼️

The series characters I can draw the best(In order) are:

South Park, Eddsworld, Creepypasta, n' SMG4

Just a some things about me(changes/updates so much)

Fictionkin of:

Tweek Tweak

Craig Tucker

Kyle Broflovski

Kenny McCormick

Damien Thorn (South Park)

Michael Afton (FNAF)

Crying Child/Evan Afton (FNAF 4)

Mr Puzzles

SMG3 (SMG4)

Louise (Bob's Burgers)

Adam

Lucifer

Vox

Husk

Angel Dust (Hazbin hotel)

Tord

Tom (Eddsworld)

Kevin (Spooky Month)

Selever (FNF)

Shadow (Sonic, but not sure which specific Sonic yet)

Jeff T. Killer

BEN Drowned

And Ticci Toby (Creepypasta)

Questioning: 3

Therian but not completely comfortable to reveal more then a few of my Theriotypes, those few are a Border Collie, Island Fox, Clouded leopard, Red Panda, Some kind of Shark, and an Opossum

He/Him (Trans FTM/Masc)

13 on May 16th, Tumblr dont come after me

Christan (but excepts any religion)

Favorite Animal is Guinea pigs

2nd favorite drink is coffee

2nd:Hansel by Sodikken

Top ten Favorite songs:

1st:Bad Habit by Steve Lacy

3rd:Breezeblocks by alt-j

5th:Coffee by Jack Stauber's Micropop

4th:My Band by D12

6th:Christmas kids by Roar

7th:Noel's Lament

8th:I love you like an alcoholic by The Taxpayers

9th:Charlies Inferno by That Handsome Devil

10th:I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters

(Dont judge me on my songs,I know i have a weird a taste in music)

A few last random shit facts 'bout me

I am very scared of alarms(Like, fire alarms)

I have Trypophobia aka fear of holes(it's very bad)

I have a love hate relationship with insects

I'm AroAce and Gay

Wolverine is my all-time favorite hero(I don't care that he's technically an anti-hero/also an X-Men, he's the best)

Black and Red are my favorite colors

HTTYD is my favorite movie series

I love Scooby Doo(Especially Mystery Incorporated)

I am a mix of Introverted and Extroverted

I swear I wanna cry when stuff I've been waiting for is altered(Don't ask, I have no idea why)

I have anxiety

I freak out VERY easily

Salamanders are so cool istg

I have sensitive ears so I hate loud noises(I think I'm just a wimp)

I was in a car crash when I was 8(Luckily me and my dad were fine)

I like Diary of a wimpy kid

I have an older brother that I fight with(Imagine Rodrick and Greg's rivalry)

Some noises also make me want to bawl my eyes out(Also don't ask why, I seriously don't know)

I will 'kill' you if you look in my sketchbook(I swear you do not wanna see it, like really, you do NOT)

I have social anxiety👍

I'm seriously fucked up in the brain

I have OCD

And I have a Spotify by the name Craig-Fucker 👍

And yeah, that's all I'm willing to tell

Also please don't hate me, I can't control who I am

Thanks for reading

Random Icons :D

Okay! One last thing, sense I have started the Zombie Park series, you can ask them questions about litterly ANYTHING some stuff they might not be allowed to answer at the moment like some stuff that'll happen in the future, but if you have any questions about the AU feel free to ask

#Intro #Fictionkin #Therian

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impossiblescissorspeachpaper · 1 year

Text

Last Christmas

Just some fluffy trash

December 3rd.

Elain smirked down at her phone, opening the group chat she shared with her siblings and friends.

There was near constant chatter in the family group chat, but it had been a while since they’d played her favourite game.

The name of the thread had changed multiple times over the years. For a while it had been known as The Inner Circle, then The Court of Dreams. Cassian had gone in and changed it to The I Hate Eris Vanserra Club once when he had been feeling particularly pissy about something the redhead had done, and previously it had been the very unimaginative Cool People Only. However, currently it was being updated daily by Mor as a live countdown to Christmas Day.

Elain’s fingers flew across her screen as she typed out a brief message in 21 Days To Go❄️ and hit send.

Elain 11:23am LAST

To anyone else, they wouldn’t have a clue what was going on. To anyone outside of their intimate little circle, they would look at this random, one worded text, all caps, and think it a strange mistake. But Elain knew the remaining seven members of that group chat would know exactly how to respond. They’d been doing it for years.

Sure enough, a few minutes later a response came through.

Rhys 11:26am CHRISTMAS

Elain chuckled. She couldn’t remember how this little tradition had started, but it was something they did every December in the lead up to Christmas.

Nesta 11:31am I

Anyone could start it. At any time. The only rules were that you could only type out one word and you couldn’t send two consecutive texts.

Azriel 11:33am GAVE

Amren 11:34am YOU

Amren was visiting Varian at his beach house; he must be out for a run if she had her phone nearby and was available to text them all.

Feyre 11:37am MY

Rhys 11:40am HEART

The texts were coming in a few minutes apart, and the trick to it was to make sure you didn’t hit send on the same word someone else may already be typing. Because if you happened to be the person that ruined the song? Well, everyone would have to start all over again and you’d be fair game until the next round.

Their family was nothing if not competitive, clutching at any excuse with both hands and using it to relentlessly dump on the others. It was chaos and she loved it.

Elain 11:42am BUT

Feyre 11:43am THE

Nesta 11:44am VERY

Cassian and Mor, absent until now, could both be seen typing…

Mor 11:48am NEXT

Cassian 11:48am NEXT

Cassian 11:48am Ah fuck

Elain’s lip tilted up at the corner, bracing herself for the onslaught about to rain down on poor Cassian in 3..2..1..

Feyre 11:50am Nooooooo

Azriel 11:51am Oh ffs Cass

Nesta 11:51am Of course it was you...

Rhys 11:55am We’d barely gotten in!

Cassian 11:57am Mor jumped in, the sneaky rat!

Mor 11:59am Bit slow off the mark there, Cass? Funny, I’ve heard the opposite.

Elain 12:00pm 🤭

Cassian 12:03pm WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ELLIE?!

Azriel 12:04pm The truth…

Rhys 12:06pm BURN

Nesta 12:10pm Are you all being mean to my boyfriend?

Amren 12:14pm Yes

Nesta 12:16pm Ok, just checking. Carry on.

Cassian 12:18pm Gee thanks babe… 😒

Feyre 12:22pm Aww Cass, I still love you! Come over tonight I’ll make you dinner

Cassian 12:35pm Ahhhh, I’m not sure if I’m free Fey

Lie. She knew for a fact Cassian was free, Nesta taught dance classes every second Saturday evening and Cassian usually hounded his brothers to hang out with him whilst she was busy. He just didn’t trust Feyre’s cooking. She couldn’t blame him.

Even though she had been trying, the last time Feyre had made them all a meal her pasta bake somehow had turned out burnt on the top whilst simultaneously still ice cold in the middle. Elain wasn’t sure how she’d managed it.

Elain 12:41pm I’ll help her cook

Cassian 12:42pm I’ll be there!

Rhys 12:45pm LOL

Feyre 12:48pm 🖕

Elain chuckled again. They would be at it for hours yet. Closing out of the group chat, letting the rest of them fight it out for a while, she opened her Spotify app.

Clicking a few buttons to find what she was looking for, she pressed play on one of her favourite Christmas songs. George Michael’s voice rang out over her speakers as Last Christmas played, a happy little smile creeping across her face.

*******

tagging: @offtorivendell @fawnandshadows @the-laughing-bubble @swankii-art-teacher @pagemasters @sakurakittypeach @tswaney17 @thefangirlofhp @wingedblooms @alwayssara @ultadverb

#acotar drabble #the inner circle #fluff #t writes #acotar fanfiction #acotar #christmas #feyre #nesta #elain #mor #amren #rhysand #cassian #azriel

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brokebonewritings · 2 years

Text

Romancing Under the Moon

Steven Grant x Reader

Warning/Tags: 18+, Fluff

Summary: Steven Grant calls and falls for the Diamond of the Season.

Word Count: 3.3K

Masterlist

A/n: I'm trying to come up with a playlist on Spotify so you have something to listen to during the Ball sequences. If you have any suggestions please don't hesitate to send them to my ask inbox!

Dearest Readers,

It has come to my attention that a flame has been set ablaze. Mister Steven Grant may have begun his courtship with our beloved diamond! How exhilarating this romance must seem, however to the other suitors this will be a very sad moment. It seems that this match, in which I predicted to be the very best, has been the gossip of almost every household in London. May we be seeing the bloom of a beautiful proposal, or the raging of a fire that will be sadly blown out by a storm? The answer, dear reader, may surprise you. My watchful eye has been and will always be trained to spot each rise and downfall. That being said, I will continue to watch this romance and update you with the latest thread.

Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers,

1 April, 1815

“Ugh, that woman makes me want to tear my hair out!” You hear your mother say as she sets the paper on the table in front of her.

“What do you mean, Mama?” You hear your older sister say. Looking up from your tea you see your mother waving the paper around.

“This Whistledown woman is exasperating! She either loves this match or she doesn’t! She must make up her mind.” Hearing this comment makes you stand up immediately. Doing so makes everyone in the room turn in your direction.

“I- I must be getting ready. I do believe Mr. Grant said he would call on me around noon.” You turn and leave the room. Once you turned the corner of the hall, you backed against the wall taking a deep breath.

You couldn’t believe that this was finally happening. All thanks to your brother officially introducing him to you. The butterflies you felt in your stomach were very much real. However, you could only hope that he would court you properly.

Making it to your room finally, your lady maid, Emma, helped you pick out a very pretty lavender dress. Your hair was done in curls and pinned up to the latest fashion. When you were fully ready, you had to do the hardest thing of all. Wait.

Not that you were an impatient girl, just that you were too excited for Mr. Grant to call on you. Dancing with him at the Masquerade had been a highlight for, and you didn’t want to dance with anyone else after.

You walked back down to the parlor room to show your mother the dress you and Emma had picked out for Steven’s call. She looked absolutely delighted when you did a full turn.

“Oh blessed, You truly are the Diamond of the Season.” She raved. “Look how beautiful you are.”

“I truly cannot wait another minute, mama.” You said.

“Patience, y/n, He shall be here soon.” She glanced at the clock on the fireplace mantel. “Your brother shall also be here any minute to chaperone you both.”

You blushed lightly, the rose dusting on your cheeks only enhanced this. This was actually about to happen. You really couldn’t believe it. Sitting down, you waited quietly until your brother came and gave you a talk of what was about to happen.

On the other side of town, Steven paced his office in nervousness. He had never courted a woman before, let alone talked to the most beautiful person he has seen in his life.

Would you stop with the pacing for five minutes? It was Marc, and he sounded very annoyed.

“I just don’t think I can do this” He quivered. “Why did you get me into this mess?”

Because you need to find a wife before we die alone. Marc spat. Or would you rather we never find love?

Steven shook his head. Of course he didn’t want to die alone, without any kids or family of his own.

“What if she doesn’t take the news of all of us well though?” Steven looked in the mirror. He could see Marc’s reflection looking back at him. It wasn’t his usual hard look. Steven could tell he was deep in thought.

He took a look at the golden plate sitting on the shelf and saw Jake staring back at him.

How about we take turns courting her, hermano? Jake stated. This made Steven perk up a bit. That could actually work, and Jake never really stepped in unless both he and Marc were having trouble with their thoughts.

Looking back at the plate, Steven saw Marc shrug and nod his head.

“Yeah alright, then, that sounds like it could actually work!” Steven said excitedly. “I could go first and Marc could give it a go, and Jake can if he really feels like it!”

Steven. The time. Marc got his attention.

Steven looked at his pocket watch and realized he needed to get going. He took a deep breath, and left his office. He alerted the staff that he was going out and he would be back later that evening.

As he approached the Bennette residence, he could feel the pit of his stomach be set ablaze by the pure excitement of finally courting y/n.

Once the carriage stopped, he stepped out into the crisp spring air, and made his way towards the door. Stopping to take a deep breath, he knocked three times and waited for the butler to answer.

The door opened and there stood a stout older gentleman awaiting his arrival.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Grant. I believe Lady y/n and Lord Bennette have been expecting you.” The old man stepped aside to let Steven in.

Once inside, the older man led him to the entrance of the parlor where everyone had been waiting for his arrival.

“May I introduce, Mr. Steven Grant, here for Lady Y/n Bennette.” He announced to the room and left hurriedly.

Steven stepped into the door and bowed to everyone in the room.

“Good Morning, Lord and Lady Bennette.” He stutterd lightly. “Happy to make your acquaintance.”

Lord Bennette stood from his seat and walked over to Steven extending his hand. Steven took and shook his hand firmly.

“Very nice! Very nice handshake, young man!” The gray haired man said. “I admire that about another man, a nice firm handshake shows promise!”

Then Lady Bennette stood and walked over to Steven. She smiled at him as he bowed to her and gently grabbed her hand.

“What a gentleman indeed, Mr. Grant.” She quipped. “You must tell me where you learned such excellent manners.”

“My Governess was one of a kind, my lady.” He chuckled.

Great charm, Steven. Keep it up. Steven could hear Marc say. This really began to boost his confidence.

“Let me go fetch y/n, she has been waiting all morning for you.” She laughed.

As she left the room, Howard entered and his face brightened at the sight of Steven.

“Grant! Good to see you this morning!” He said then turned to his father. “Father, Steven Grant and I were schoolmates in Brighton!”

“Is that so? Tell me, young man, What did you study and What do you do?” Lord Bennette inquired.

“I studied Archaeology, My Lord. I find it absolutely fascinating discovering ancient relics and cities.” He said truthfully. “I am currently a curator at the British Museum in London, sir”

Lord Bennette seemed pleased by his answer. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all. They all continued to talk while they awaited the young lady to arrive.

Once she had entered the room, Steven noticed her immediately. He turned fully to face and bowed to her. She curtsied back to him as he made his way towards her. She extended her hand to him and he happily took it and kissed her knuckles.

“Good Afternoon, Miss Bennette.” Steven said awfully quiet. He was just taken aback by her beauty.

“Good Afternoon, Mr. Grant.” She replied, a light blush spreading across her face.

After a brief moment of staring at each other. Howard stepped in and cleared his throat.

“We should probably get a move on if we want to catch the Hot Air Balloons taking off.” He stated.

“Ah yes, we probably shall then.” Steven agreed and turned to Lord Bennette once more. “It was an honor to meet you sir.”

“Please, this was a pleasure! I shall see you soon, my boy!” He chuckled happily.

Steven held his hand out to y/n, which she happily took, and then they were off. He helped her into the carriage following after her brother. This was turning out to be an excellent call. Something he never thought once would happen.

The carriage pulled up to the air filled and once Steven had exited the car, he helped you out onto the grassy area. It wasn’t too hot outside, but you definitely feel the sun blazing your skin. Though seeing all the large balloons getting ready to fly took your mind off of the heat.

Your brother and Steven chatted for a bit, and then Howard left to chat with another one of his friends leaving both you and Steven alone for a brief moment.

“Miss. Bennette, if I may ask, were you excited for this visit today?” Steven asked bluntly. You were honestly a little surprised by the question.

“Yes, very. I did rather fancy being able to see you again after the last ball.” You blushed. You could see him smile at your comment.

“I was eager to see you again, but not knowing your name put me in a very hard predicament.” He replied. What an idiot you were. Of course you forgot to tell this man your name. However, no sense of dwelling on that now.

“Now let me ask you something, Mr. Grant.” You started. “What are things you like to do for fun?”

Now it was finally your turn to learn about him and his background. This excited you truly. Learning how he was an archaeologist, and how he talked about the ancient Egyptians and Egyptian gods. He was very fascinating.

Once he was done, he asked about you in return. You told him of your hobbies, how many languages you spoke, and how you had always wanted to travel. When the conversation seemed to falter, you saw the gleam in his eyes changed slightly.

“Do you speak any other languages?” You ask out of curiosity.

He nodded and cleared his throat.

“I know Spanish, French, and Arabic. It is something I am passionate about.” He said, though you noticed his accent had changed just a bit. It wasn’t enough to concern you though.

You both talked more about his travels and education. You even learned that he had been to Africa on an expedition to find an ancient temple. How exciting.

“Would you ever take me on an expedition, Mr. Grant?” You asked him and grabbed onto his arm. Once again, his eyes changed at a moment's notice.

“If it is not too dangerous, we can discuss the option too.” He stared and smiled slightly at you.

This was exhilarating to talk about. The potential to travel the world with someone who could very much fall in love with and marry. You glance over and notice that he is staring at you intensely. When he notices you looking back, he smiles and holds out his arm.

You both begin to walk around the field, speaking to the pilots of the Hot Air Balloons. This was the highlight of your day. After a few hours, you both head back to the viewing area to watch them lift off. Howard is there waiting for the both of you, with a big smile spread across his face.

He and Steven spoke about the mechanics on the Balloons and you stood and listened to their conversation. All you could feel at the moment was absolute joy. When it was finally time to go you all headed back to the carriage and went on your way.

You all made it back to your residence, and you began to realize this was the end of your visit. It made you sad to think about. When you all had exited the carriage car, It was time to say goodbye. Steven chatted with your brother a bit before turning to you.

“Miss Bennette, If I may ask, would you accompany me to the ball in 2 days?” He asked. “If that is acceptable with your older brother?”

Howard smiled brightly.

“Indeed it is! Y/n? What do you say to Mr. Grant’s request?” Your brother turned to you questioningly.

“It would be an absolute pleasure, Mr. Grant.” You say as you smile at him. He smiles warmly back at you. And with a tip of his hat, he was gone. It was sad watching him leave, however, now you were truly excited for the ball coming in two days time.

Once you and your brother got back inside, he began to question how the visit went while he was away.

“So! Tell me! You like him, do you not?” He asked playfully.

“Howard! Shh!” You giggled. “It is true. I do have quite a fondness for him.”

“Then it is settled. I will not allow any other man to come between the two of you.” He stated. “I will go speak with him tomorrow about it.”

“Whatever you say Howard,” You smile.”And what of mama and papa?”

“I believe that they already approve of this match.” He said matter of factly.

“Is that so?” You wondered.

You walk back to the parlor, daydreaming of your future with Mr. Steven Grant.

Two days flew by in the blink of an eye. Before he knew it Steven was standing in a crowded room of people he had barely met, waiting for her to arrive. To say that he was excited was very much an understatement.

Everything was going smoothly. He had spoken to a few of his colleagues and dodged hopeless mamas in search of any man to hand their daughters off to.

Then she finally arrived. Her brother was the one who found you first. Giving Steven a firm pat on the back.

“Good to see you again, Old Friend!” He shouted happily. “How are you feeling tonight?”

“A bit nervous, but I am excited to see where tonight takes us.” Steven replied. “I’m glad we spoke the other day.”

Howard bowed his head. Steven knew that his old friend wanted nothing but the best for them. His sister finally joined them as they were speaking in hushed voices.

“Mr. Grant, lovely to see you again.” She curtsied at him and he bowed back in response.

“Miss Bennette, you look absolutely beautiful.” He said in awe, earning a blush that was slowly creeping onto the apples of her cheeks.

“Would it be a bother to ask you for a dance?” She asked, and that made him blush as well.

“Changing the roles are we now, Miss Bennette?” He joked. “Of course I would love to accompany you for a dance.”

The music started to play softly as Steven took her to the dance floor. In a moment, Marc took over since he was the more coordinating dancer of the lot. He tried to keep their expression soft to mimic Stevens. He concentrated on y/n as they waltzed around the dance floor with the other patrons of the ball.

He was indeed having fun with her. For the first time, in a very long time, he genuinely smiled. This sparked a flame within Marc as such as the first time she danced with Steven. Now there were two of them falling deeply in love with the woman in front of them.

Once the song ended, they both bowed to each other and smiled. There was definitely a connection between the two people. Marc extended his hand and took y/n to the balcony. It was quiet and there were barely any people around. She rested her head against his shoulder as they stared at the stars together.

Are you ready for this, mate? Marc heard Steven ask. He took a deep breath and nodded slightly before letting Steven take back over.

Don’t fuck this up. Marc said before Steven began to talk.

“Y/n?” Steven asked before pulling away from her. “There is something I need to discuss with you.”

She turned to look at him, a bit confused.

“You can tell me anything, Mr. Grant.” She smiled.

“Well, the truth is, I came out here with you to propose.” He stated. He saw her face light up instantly. “But I do need to tell you the truth about something rather serious.”

He could tell she was confused by the way her eyebrows knitted together. Marc did the same thing when he was confused.

“It’s not the easiest thing to speak of, but I have been going through this ever since I was a child.”

“Steven.” She said softly. This made him look up at her. “Please tell me, everything.”

So that’s where he began. He told her about his brother, and his mother. The trauma that he had experienced as a child. And now the moment of truth.

“Oh Steven, that sounds awful, I am so sorry.” She rubbed his arm.

“I just, there is one more thing about it all.” He took a deep breath. “I have two other separate personalities inside of me.”

Now she definitely looked confused.

“I do not understand, what do you mean by that?” She asked.

“I mean, There are two other people inside of this one mind.” He explained softly. “There are technically three of us.”

“You must be jesting with me at the moment.” She giggled.

“y/n, I am being quite serious.” It was Marc who took over. She saw the gleam change in his eyes and then she finally understood.

“Wait, wait so then if there are three of you in one mind, then are they all called Steven Grant?” She asked quite seriously. She was trying to understand the whole situation, which they understood completely.

“No, Steven Grant is just the main one.” Marc spoke, turning towards her. “My name is Marc, Marc Spector. We just danced in the ballroom together.”

Her mouth was gaped open. She really couldn’t believe what she was witnessing.

“I knew there was something off about your dancing.” She stated. “It didn’t seem like Steven at all.”

“You would be correct about that statement, mi corazón.” The sudden change of voice made y/k jump.

“And now are you the third one?” She looked at him puzzled.

“Si, the third and final one. Jake Lockely, at your service, princesa.” He bowed at her.

This was all so much for her to take in. Was she disturbed by it? Just a bit. She didn’t know what to think of it all. She looked back up at the man she thought she knew.

“Can I.. Can I speak to Steven?” She questioned. He nodded and then in a flash she saw Steven’s eyes brighten back into himself.

She looked like she was about to cry. Without thinking he brought a hand up to her cheek, trying to calm her.

“Hey there, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, but you needed to know.” He soothed her. “I didn’t want you to say yes and it be hidden for our entire lives.”

Y/n sniffled as he explained that to her. It did make a lot more sense to her. She appreciated that he even decided to discuss it with her rather than hide it.

“I accept then.” She announces.

“Sorry?” Steven looks into her eyes confused.

“I accept your proposal.” She says a little more clearly.

“You do?” He asks and she nods. “You do! Oh blessed!”

She giggles as he spins her arounds. He was excited to say the least.

“On one condition.” She says.

“Anything.” He agrees.

“This must be kept between the two of us, and you must announce who is speaking until I figure out you lot.” She confidently states.

“We all agree.”

Last Part Next Part

taglist: @dev-angeline @ahookedheroespureheart

If you want to be added to the taglist please send me a DM or comment and I will happily do it on the next update!

#moonknight #bridgerton au #moonknight imagine #marc spector #moonknight fanfiction #moon knight #fanfic #jake lockley #steven grant #fanfiction #fanfiction writer #imagine #moon knight x reader #marvel #steven grant x reader #jake lockely x reader #marc spector x reader #bridgerton

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centralperkspoison · 2 years

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the way i loved you | e. munson

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader (She/Her)

Warnings: Fluff, kissing, slight hints towards sex, taking off clothes, no actual smut though, hints towards underage drinking, and yeah!

Summary: Inspired by the song, "The Way I Loved You," by Taylor Swift. Reader is Eddie's ex, who is currently talking with and seeing Steve. While everything is amazing with Steve because he treats reader so wonderfully, and they're thinking about officially getting together, reader can't help but miss the chaos and madness that they had with Eddie. Everything in readers head is decided when she speaks to Eddie for the first time in months at school. (Takes place the year before S4, and reader is a Junior).

Other: I got this idea in the car yesterday when i was screaming The Way I Loved You by Dr. Swift in the car with my bestfriend yesterday. This is all because of her adding it to the spotify queue, so ty <3

(update! me and the person i had previously mentioned and i are no longer friends, so you wont be hearing about her anymore :))

Word Count: 1.8k

---

The lunch room was extra loud today. The chit-chat of students still contained little details about you and Eddie's breakup, which hurt for either of you two to think about, much less see each other daily. He seemed to become quieter during lunch, obviously bothered by the distance between his first, true love, and him. There was no more hopping up on lunch tables or pounding his fists on them, tossing food at his friends, or even making fun of the bitter people who belong to the 'Cult of Baskets,' or 'The Darkside,' as Eddie liked to call the basketball team, but now pure silence on his part. Which you couldn't say much about because you too were moping around after your breakup.

It's not like one of you decided it you lost feelings and cut the other off. It was a long time coming.

There was screaming, fighting, breaking down, coming undone, it was a rollercoaster.

But secretly, to you, that was everything.

The two of you had gone to a huge party the night before at a girl named 'Tina' 's house, where you drank a lot, so Eddie let you sleep at his house. You two both woke up the next morning naked, and with a hangover. At what point in one of the many conversations you two had that day had it taken the turn into a conversation about your entire relationship, you weren't sure, but you two decided it would be best to split up.

So here you were, avoiding the Senior side of the cafeteria at all costs, for what you thought was going to be the end of the year.

Until you weren't.

You had known Steve Harrington for a while, seen as you were (Y/N) Henderson. He was your favorite one out of your brother's friends, (Of course other than Suzie, El, and Max. You loved them.) But you never realized that he was the supposed, "King Steve," That everyone in Hawkins High talked about, so once the two of you started going on dates, the uproar of rumors and gossip that contained the two of your names surprised you.

But you weren't even worried about that. You didn't care how Hawkins High reacted, all you cared about was what he would think. The boy you spent hours with just making fun of the 'top of the food chain' kids, the 'first to die in a horror movie kids', the 'coming from good money shouldn't be your only personality,' kids. The kids like Steve.

You sit in your normal seat by one of the many windows on the Junior side of the cafeteria, staring out of the dirty glass and looking at the sky. Bird watching had become one of the few hobbies you have yet to discover, but you still recognized a few of the pretty birds that flew among the wisps of white in the sky. You had already finished your lunch, and you were just waiting for the final bell that was destined to ring at any minute until you felt two, large arms wrap loosely around your neck.

You quickly turn your attention to the culprit, Steve.

"Done with lunch?" He asks, attempting to remove his arms, but his watch gets caught in your ponytail. "Yep," You respond, moving your hands to his watch so you can stand up. "How are you?" He asks as you untangle his watch from your hair successfully. "I'm good, you?" You answer, standing up to throw away your lunch tray in the trash can five feet away. Once you come back, you notice Steve is already sitting in the seat right across from where you were seated. His expression seemed so genuine in the way he admired you, you loved it.

"So, are you busy babysitting my brother tonight?" You ask, a small smile playing on your lips as you see his flustered reaction. "First of all, (Y/N), I don't babysit him, I just happen to enjoy his company, secondly, if what you were asking was if I'm free tonight, then your answer is yes." He says, smiling. "Great," You respond, giving him a huge, child-like smile. "What for?" He asks, smirking. You pull out a piece of paper with some foreign looking language on the front.

"I wanted to check this restaurant out, see if its as good as I heard it was." You respond, shoving your messy handwriting into Steve's hand. "Okay, cool. I'll pick you up at seven." He responds, giving you a kiss on the cheek as the bell for next period rings.

TIME SKIP

Seven o' clock doesn't take too long to come around, but you still have to do your mascara. You run to your desk and pull out your eyelash curler, and bring it up to your eye as your mother yells for your brother instead of you.

"Dustin, your older friend is here!" She calls, and Dustin comes out of his room shouting. "Mom, what?" He replies, walking out of his room, and locking eyes with Steve. "What are you doing Steve? And why are you all dressed up?" Dustin asked.

Dressed up?

You felt your heart skip a beat at those words. He got all dressed up, just to go try out a new restaurant with you.

After applying your final coat of mascara, you grab your purse and throw on your shoes before running out of your room.

“Hi.” He says once he sees you. “Hey.” You respond, smiling at his starstruck expression. He clears his throat then turns his attention to your mother. “Can I take your daughter out on a date tonight?” He smiles nervously. “Yes, honey. Just at least bring her back before tomorrow.” Your mother smiles, clearly charmed by Steve. “I’m sorry, what?” Dustin calls out, clearly pissed off at the two, “You two are together?” He asks, crossing his arms.

“No, we’re just hanging out Dustin,” Steve smiles. “Alright, well hang out with protection please, (Y/N) is loud enough as it is.” Dustin says, turning around to go to his room. “What he said.” Your mother agrees, turning around to go to the kitchen.

Steve and you open the door and walk out to the car, and he runs to the passenger side with you.

“Let me get that,” He says, "You look beautiful tonight." He finishes, smiling.

He opens up my door and I get into his car, and he says, “You look beautiful tonight,” And I feel perfectly fine.

You can't help but think back to all of your memories with Eddie. While Steve is sensible, and so incredible, and he calls exactly when he says he will, he's close with your mother, he's charming and endearing and you're comfortable. Eddie gifted you a lifetime of memories. While there was so much chaos and craziness imbedded in your relationship, you loved it.

The screaming, the fighting, the kissing in the rain... you wanted it all. As long as it was with Eddie.

But you refused to let that cloud your judgement. You were on a date with Steve, not Eddie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the date went by in a blur, and for the most part you were quiet. It was incredibly awkward. After he dropped you off, back at your house, you ran up to your room.

Once you enter your room you hear a very familiar yet static-y voice come from your desk that catches your attention. Upon further inspection, you discover it's coming from the walkie-talkie that Eddie gifted you for your seventeenth birthday, on the channel that only the two of you use.

"(Y/N)?" You hear him say. Impossible. We had mutual agreements to not speak to each other ever again. You walk closer to the silver box and hear him speak again. "(Y/N/N)?" He said. He never used that nickname for you, it was only the popular crowd that called you that. "(Y/N), please." He said, starting to sound hopeless. You pick up the walkie-talkie, pull on the antenna, and press the button on the side, "Eds'?" You ask, the nickname that only you ever called him rolling off of your tongue as if it was the most important thing in the world. "Hey," he said, relief apparent in his voice, "Hi," You respond. "Can I come over?" He asked, voice shaky.

You shouldn't. You know you shouldn't.

"No Eddie... You shouldn't." You say, breaking your own heart. "Oh." He said, connection being a little too clear for him to be all the way at his house. "Eddie?" You ask, "Yeah?" He responds. "Where are you?" You ask. You flinch at the knock on your window.

You shouldn't.

But you do.

You unlock the window and knock twice, signaling to him that its open, and you walk over to your bed. Once he reseals the window, He takes about three steps towards you, still being at least five feet away from you. He takes a deep breath, then looks up at you with sad eyes.

"It was a mistake." He said, causing your eyes to water. "It was Eds'. I miss you." You say, standing up and taking a step towards him. "I miss it all." You say.

"I miss screaming, and fighting, and kissing in the rain. When It's 2:00 a.m. and I'm cursing your name over the phone. So in love that we acted insane, Eddie. You were wild, and crazy. Just so frustrating, and that's one of the reasons I love you Eddie. I know I said I couldn't take how chaotic we were, but that's what makes our relationship ours." You say, looking up at him with sad eyes.

He finally closed the space between the two of you, and wrapped one his arms around your waist and pulled you in, and used his other hand to cup your cheek. He used his thumb to wipe the tear off of your cheek. "I missed you too." He said, pulling your face to meet his lips.

His lips were just as you remembered them. This wasn't a goodbye kiss, it was a hello kiss. One of many to come. This kiss made all of the ones that came before it feel like childsplay. He was, and will always be yours, and vise versa.

The kiss grows deeper, his lips feeling like silk against yours. You move your hands up to his hair, allowing your fingers to rake through, and grab on to each piece. He lets out a soft moan as he feels you grip his hair into your soft hands, while he allows his calloused ones to play with the hem of your shirt, finally deciding to tug it off.

"I love you." He says in your ear, allowing his hands to trail up your torso.

(A/N): Okay I like this one... specifically the beginning though, I feel like I got a little lazy towards the end. I hope everyone likes it though?! Also, two posts in one week? Look at me go! Anyway, please leave questions/suggestions in my requests box!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #stranger things season four #eddie muson fanfic #steve harrington #steve harrington x henderson!reader #centralperksfunds #taylor swift #fearless taylor’s version #the way i loved you #thank you duffer bros #dustin henderson

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czerwonykasztelanic · 1 year

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Metal to the masses!

LAST UPDATED: Feb 15 2023

Ave! Here's a list of various links to all things heavy metal. Doesn't matter if you're just getting into the genre and feeling totally lost, looking for something new to expand your already fvking brvtal taste, or seeking to win a debate under a Facebook post - this post is for you! (I'm by no means an expert, but I do try.)

Archives, music-sharing platforms and news outlets:

Encyclopaedia Metallum - If you want to own someone in an online argument, this is the place to go. Everything on every band, album and genre. When I say "every band", I mean it - even my local thrash outfit with 40 listeners on Spotify have their page. If you create your own account, you can add more pages to the Metal Archive, write reviews, browse forums, et cetera. Just don't fuck around and the mods will leave you be.

Kuttengallerie - A huge gallery of various battle vests and battle jackets, mostly from the 2000s and early 2010s. They're even sorted alphabetically. If you're looking for ideas or references, head on in. It's also part of a larger online forum, which is sadly mostly inactive. (This one's in German, but Google Translate exists, guys. Also, shout-out to my brother in metal Blues for showing me this!)

Rate Your Music - Not exclusive to metal, but you can create lists, rate music (like the name suggests), write reviews, et cetera. Good way to discover new things.

AngryMetalGuy - Funny, scathing, high-quality. One of the most prominent metal blogs. Bonus points from me because TheKenWord is a fan of Artificial Brain. (Big thanks to @dropdeadjack for this suggestion - and many others!)

Bandcamp - You can buy digital tracks, albums, even merchandise. Oftentimes it's "name your price", so look out for bargains. Bandcamp charges very low fees - it pays artists way more than most other platforms do. Also, it has curated collections.

Soundcloud - Good for uploading your own things, as well as finding others' stuff. A sort of alternative to Spotify/Apple Music/et cetera.

Loudwire - Mostly big news and sensations (picture Slipknot's beef with MGK); not a valuable source of information but it is funny sometimes and keeps you up-to-date with the talk of the town. Things like reunions, break-ups, new albums; rock and metal alike.

Metalsucks - Also lighthearted, but seems to be more respected in the metal community itself. Again, keeps you up to date.

Metal Injection - Another fairly reliable metal news outlet.

Documentaries, movies, YouTube channels:

Metal Evolution - Really well-made, high-quality series, but I've only watched part of it myself. By metalheads and for metalheads. Here are links to some episodes: Extreme Metal, Pre-Metal, Thrash Metal, Power Metal, Early Metal, Glam Metal.

Banger TV - Hosted by Sam Dunn, the guy who did the Metal Evolution documentary. Lots of interviews, reviews, tips; hell, even a comedy series (Heavy Metal Hitchhiker). They've also started a podcast, apparently.

Heavy: The Story of Metal - Not my favorite, but it does get the point across. Here's a link to episode 4 - Seek & Destroy. You can probably find the rest of the episodes on YouTube.

Heavy Metal Democracy Project - Banger TV strikes yet again. This playlist has videos such as "How to get into death metal", "How to get into thrash metal", so on and so forth.

Festivals:

Wacken Open Air - Germany. Considered by most to be the largest one in Europe.

Hellfest - France. Also a contender to Wacken's title.

Download - UK. The Donington Park one. Not metal-exclusive, one of the biggest festivals in the world. See also: Download Australia and Download Japan.

Bloodstock Open Air - UK.

Maryland Deathfest - US. As the name suggest, mostly death metal.

Louder Than Life - US. Possibly the biggest festival in America.

Aftershock - US. Rock and metal.

Ozzfest - Touring. Put Osborne back on the map.

Knotfest - Touring. Founded by Slipknot.

Summer Breeze - Germany.

Mystic Festival - Poland. Biased because I've been there.

Sweden Rock Festival - Sweden (lol). (Not listing all the Scandinavian ones because we'd be here all day.)

Metaldays - Slovenia. Biased because I almost was there.

Brutal Assault - Czech Republic.

Tuska Open Air - Finland.

Copenhell - Denmark.

Hell & Heaven - Mexico.

Rock al Parque - Colombia. One of the biggest in Latin America.

Hellprint - Indonesia.

Bangalore Open Air - India.

Other:

Guitar Hero - If you've followed me for a while, you'll know that I love that retro mess of a game. Here are downloadable versions of World Tour and Guitar Hero III.

Louder Than Hell - An oral history of metal by Katherine Turman and John Wiederhorn. Interviews with all the big names - hundreds of 'em. (Thanks @gia-is-a-punk-rocker for this one!)

#Output #Heavy Metal #Masterpost #If you've got anything to add - hit me up!

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divine-knight-hand · 4 months

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❤️‍🔥 I’ve been thinking about making a masterlist of my maladaptive daydreaming-related content for a while now, and here it is! Anytime I talk about my paracosm, or share materials related to it, it’s going to go here!

Please excuse me for being vague, though. There are certain details I’d still rather not share… 😅

(Also, the photo above is a photo from Pinterest that I edited to look like my parame so, yeah! Thanks, Pinterest!)

Visuals & Immersion:

Moodboard: Parame

Moodboard: Parasister

Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

Songs To/About My Veritbond

Picrew: Parame and Parasister

Picrew: The (Not) Full Original Cast

Picrew: The Band AU

Info Drops:

Quoting My Parame

Brothers and Sisters as Friends? Oh My!

Update: PWP

The Stories of my Parame and Veritbond

Band AU Debut

A Long War Story

Paracosm Time vs. Thisverse Time

The Sisters in a Trope

The Besties in The Patrick Show

Parame Lore Moment (feat. Justice)

Custody? Gone.

NSFW Lists

Who’s That Murderer?

She’s a Smooth MF~

Games:

Rice Purity Test: Me vs. My Parame

Bold-a-Flaw Para Game

Maladaptive Daydreaming Bingo

5 Songs, 3 Outfits

Stories:

A Para-Scare at Work

A Coworker with a Para’s Name

Vent: Daydreaming is NOT a Sin!!!

A Saddening Backstory

In My Dreams

Blech!

Spotify Playlists:

Parame Mix

She’s a Violent One…

Life Soundtrack

Love for Parasister

Falling for Veritbond

Love for Veritbond

Band AU

“Divine, what the hell does any of this mean?”

Don’t worry, my child. I will happily explain some terms for you~ 😌

Maladaptive Daydreaming - the strong compulsion to daydream (usually as a coping mechanism)

Paracosm - A daydream “world” in the daydreamer's mind (usually held from childhood, but can be recently made, too)

Para - A daydream character in a given paracosm (can be based of a fictional character, based off of a real person, created by the daydreamer, or any combination of the three)

Veritbond - A para that the daydreamer has a strong emotional connection to (but this is a very broad term that has different meanings, depending on who you're talking to)

If you want more specific info (or better definitions) about maladaptive daydreaming and all that jazz, look at “THE ULTIMATE DAYDREAMER’S GUIDE”, which is very helpful and was put together by @acircusfullofdemons.

#maladaptive daydreams #maladaptive daydreamer #maladaptive daydreaming #paracosm #paracosms #immersive daydreaming #masterlist #madd

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backtobackbakubabe · 1 year

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Speak Easy Part 31

Dabi x Reader , Bakugo x Reader

Words : 2987

Masterlist

Spotify Playlist

Reader has a siren quirk and has spent the past several years of her life as a captive being experimented on by “heroes” Now that she’s out she needs protection and safe place to heal. Who will be the one to put her pieces back together.

Words with ‘this’ is dialogue written in her journal rather than said out loud and and words with ~this~ is dialogue said in sign language rather than out loud.

************************************************************************

Days continued to pass, and in their passing things seemed to get a little easier. The nightmares, while still present, seemed to come less frequently. The flinching at loud noises, the nagging feeling that you were being watched, the paranoia that at any moment someone was going to kick the door down and steal you away… it all started to get easier.

You were humming while folding some laundry. Something so domestic it almost made you giggle. You could remember the days when the only clothes you even had were Dabi’s over -sized shirts.

“What’s so funny?” Dabi’s arms circled around your waist as his nose rubbed along the column of your neck.

You brushed your fingers along one of his arms. “I was just thinking how far we’ve come. I started out with like two shirts to my name. And now I have a closet full of clothes.”

Dabi’s grip tightened as he groaned, “I suddenly have the urge to burn all of your clothes.” His grip loosened only enough to flip you around so you were facing him before he was clinging to you once again. “Who’s dumb idea was it to get you your own clothes.I fucking love watching you tiptoe around the house in mine.”

You leaned into him taking a deep breath of his smoky scent, feeling your body instinctively relax into him. “I seem to remember someone being really excited at the idea of going shopping to buy me clothes.”

“Pffft. Well yeah it’s always fun buying you things. Especially picking out stuff I think you’re gonna look hot in. Dressing you up. I mean…” His mouth hovered right over your ear. His husky voice leaving goosebumps in their wake. “You are my Doll after all. My beautiful, sexy, bad ass doll.”

You smacked his shoulder and backed up. “Such a sweet talker. But unfortunately I have a pile of laundry to fold.”

He sighed and let you go, “Yet another reason to just burn them all. Less laundry to do. I get to see you wear my clothes. AND… I get to take you shopping again. Seems like a complete win all around.” Despite his threats he took a seat on the bed next to the pile and actually started to help you fold. It wasn’t the first time he had helped you with mundane chores, but there’s always a part of you that always found it funny. Big bad Dabi carefully folding clothes.

A few minutes of comfortable silence passed before he cleared his throat. “So I have something to ask you… but I don’t know how.” His blue eyes remained on the clothes he was folding. “You can totally say no. In fact, part of me hopes you do… but…”

You threw a pair of socks at the side of his head, “Out with it already. Just ask me, I promise I don’t bite.”

He scoffed, “Well I happen to personally know that is not true. You do bite, and sometimes it actually hurts. I--”

“DABI!”

“Alright!” He raised his hands in defeat. “I got word that there’s going to be a party thrown by some of the breeding ring villains. Probably going to be hosting some big names in an attempt to get more money for their little experiments.” Your hands froze and you did your best to keep your emotions off of your face. Dabi hadn’t mentioned anything to do with the breeders for weeks. You knew he got regular updates from his brother and sometimes even Katsuki. But he never shared the intel with you. Not because he wanted to keep things from you, but because he knew that telling you time and time again that there was no update would be worse for your anxiety than just saying nothing at all.

He pulled the shirt you had been folding, out of your hands to take both of yours in his. “They want to know if we want to help infiltrate.”

Your eyes finally met his and you couldn’t help the utter confusion that overtook you. “Us? I don’t understand. Why would they ask us? Seems like a hero thing and they’ve made it clear we aren’t heroes.”

Dabi nodded in agreement. “Exactly. They haven’t said anything publicly about our involvement with taking down the old headquarters. As far as the public is concerned we were never there. As far as the villains know I was there participating in the breeding experiments like Shiggy ordered me to. Your name’s been thrown around a few times but no one knows what happened.” He smirked, “Any of the villains who knew the truth about us died.” He pulled your hands to his lips and pressed his lips to your knuckles. “They died at the hands of the beautiful goddess before me.”

You waited until his blue eyes lifted to meet yours again. They looked so uncertain. So conflicted. “So what? We go and pretend I’ve been your little breeding pet this whole time? Then what? How do we even get in? I’m sure the place will be guarded. And what do we do when we get there? Is it a recon mission? Are we taking prisoners? Are we taking lives? What’s to stop them from taking me… again?”

His eyes darkened. “Well first of all no one will ever take you from me again… ever. Secondly, I happen to have an invitation. My genetics are highly desired as is my money. Thirdly…” His eyes started to glint with pride. “I was under the impression you were one the best spies in the world. Don’t tell me you’re getting rusty…” His fingers found the back of your head and his fingers gently brushed your cheek. “And lastly…” His voice dropped to a smooth, almost sinister tone. “We will do whatever we fucking please with them because we can. No heroes’ code of ethics to follow, no worries about repercussions. Just you and me and a healthy amount of revenge.”

You loved the surge of power you felt zing through you. The promise of revenge, a temptation to good to pass up. By the flutter of his eyelids you could tell you accidentally passed your emotions on to him and immediately tried to shut it off.

“Wait no.” His hand pressed against your cheek. “I love when you let me see this part of you. The bloodthirsty side. The one that would bring a man to his knees with just a few words.” His nose bumped against yours. “You’re so strong baby. There’s no point in trying to pretend you’re anything but a force to be reckoned with.”

You started to anxiously chew on your bottom lip, “But what if I don’t like that part of me. What if it makes me sick thinking about how much I love the rush of power I get when I bend a man to my will. What if--” Your eyebrows knit together in frustration, “What if it keeps me up at night wondering what I’m capable of.”

Dabi’s thumb brushed across your bottom lip to stop you from chewing on it. “Baby, I know you’ve spent your life living by some bullshit code of ethics. But you don’t have to anymore. I love how kind you are. I love how generous and understanding, and empathetic you can be. I wouldn’t change that for anything.” He pushed his forehead against yours. “But sweety, there is nothing wrong with treating bad people like the scum they are. There is nothing wrong with giving wicked people what they deserve.”

You took a shuddered breath, “Who am I to decide what people deserve? What gives me the right? What makes me worthy huh?”

“In this world we live in… a world that worships heroes like false gods… we can’t worry about what makes us ‘worthy’. We only need to focus on surviving and doing so on our own terms. If I could, I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. I’d make loving you my religion, and when my time comes I’d follow you into whatever afterlife waited for us. You’re already my whole world, so who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks?”

You sighed as you cupped this lunatic's cheek. “You really are going to be the author of my villain origin story huh?”

He smiled before pressing his lips passionately to yours. “You give me way too much credit.”

You smirked, “You’re right… I forgot you barely even know how to read.”

“Why you little bitch!”

You squealed as he tackled you to the bed. “Here I am, proudly declaring my undying love for you and you… you mock me?!” His hands gripped your squirming waist to pin you underneath him. “Maybe I need to remind you who you’re dealing with?”

“I don’t knooooow. After a pep talk like that… I don’t think you scare me anymore.”

His fingers slipped under your shirt fingers immediately finding your nipples and giving them a tug. Your head fell back as you let out an involuntary moan. “Careful doll. Or I might consider that a challenge.”

Before you even respond the oven timer went off.

“Fuck” Dabi’s head fell forward and landed on your chest. “I forgot I was making dinner.”

You chuckled as you ran your fingers through his hair. “That’s okay. I’m actually starving and I can’t wait to see what you cooked for me.”

“Well don’t get your hopes up, it’s just frozen pizza.”

You watched as he reluctantly untangled himself from you and left to go take care of the pizza. You looked over the pile of still unfolded laundry and you got a delicious idea.

A few moments later you were strutting into the kitchen, where Dabi was putting pizza on a plate, wearing absolutely nothing but one of his shirts. “Hey daddy…”

“Yeah, what’s up Bab--” His eyes met yours and immediately trailed down to his shirt, then to your bare legs, and then back up. “Shit, I will never get over how fucking pretty you are. Get your ass over here.”

He shoved the pizza to the side just in time to catch you as you leapt into his arms. His hands kneading your ass cheeks as his mouth connected with yours. You let yourself get lost in him. The feeling of his hands roaming over your body. The taste of his lips. His smoky smell. The sound of him humming his appreciation. You could feel yourself melting at his touch. He may say he worships you… but at the end of the day, you know it’s you who needs him to survive. He is your anchor to reality.

You heard his belt buckle seconds before the sound of his pants hitting the ground. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life showing you how amazing you are.” He pushed the shirt you were wearing up to expose your tits. “How fucking perfect.” He pushed the shirt up a little further before putting it in your mouth. “But I’m also going to have a little fun along the way.” You could tell by his devilish grin he was in a wicked mood. “You keep that shirt in your mouth baby. I want to see those gorgeous tits of yours while I fuck you.” You nodded as you bit the fabric between your teeth.

A hot hand smacked your ass as he leaned you against the kitchen counter. “Good Girl. If at any point you drop the shirt and I can’t see your tits while I’m fucking you. I will make you wear a plug while we eat dinner. Understood?”

You nodded again and you practically felt his excitement vibrating off of him. It had been a while since the two of you played like this. You almost forgot how fun it was.

His lips attached to your nipple and sucked as the tip of his dick rubbed against your entrance. Your eyes rolled back at the feeling, every cell in your body singing with anticipation. When he only continued to tease you, you bucked your hips forward, only earning you another slap to your ass.

“Be. Patient.”

His mouth came back down to pay attention to your other nipple, making you groan in frustration. If you could talk you’d tell him to hurry up and fuck you. After what felt like forever he finally pulled back grinning ear to ear. “It’s cute when you get so desperate.” He slowly started pushing into you and you hate to bite down on the shirt to keep yourself from moaning. “Awww is this what you wanted?” He pushed further into you and you started to nod frantically.

He chuckled at the sight of you. Eyes closed, drool drenching the shirt, hands gripping the edge of the counter with white knuckles. You needed this just as much as he did. He continued to push into you until he completely bottomed out. “Oh fuck baby, you feel so… so fucking good. I almost don't want to move.”

Your hands shot to his shoulders in an attempt to get some leverage. If he wasn’t going to fuck you then you would do it for him. And he was very well aware of that. “Nuh uh. Good girls keep their hands to themselves.”

You whined in protest, but obediently moved you hands back to where they were. “Atta girl.” He dragged his hips back almost painfully slow before slamming them back into yours making you see stars. You practically screamed through your makeshift gag. “That’s it sweet girl. Let me hear how good it feels.”

He continued his slow but powerful thrusts that had you ready to cry. It felt so good. It was raw and powerful, it made you feel like he was in complete control, that he would take care of you. You felt like nothing else mattered except this moment and sharing this with him. His pace started to speed up. Not able to hold back anymore. “Fuck, oh fuck. You’re close. I can feel it.” You wailed as your orgasm slowly built.

“Let me hear you. Let me hear how good I make you feel!”

Your eyes closed, your nails dug into arms, and you practically screamed as the building orgasm finally overwhelmed you. “Thats iiiiiiiiitt. Such a -- fuck… such a good. Fucking. GIRL! Ahhh!” His thrusts grew erratic before you felt him empty himself inside of you.

He fell on top of you pinning you to the kitchen counter, both of you breathing heavily. “Oh my sweet girl. So fucking good for me. It’s too bad, you were so close.”

It was only then that you realized that in the midst of your orgasm you had let go of the shirt in your mouth. “Nooooooooo. I don’t want to wear the plug.”

Dabi just chuckled at you, “Arms up.”

You pouted but lifted your arms anyways. “I told you what would happen. It’s not my fault you couldn’t handle the mind blowing orgasm I gave you.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as he tugged the shirt all the way off of you. He brought it down to clean up between your legs. Carefully whipping up his cum that was slowly starting to leak out of you. “You wait here. I’m going to go grab you a clean shirt and the plug.” He kissed your forehead, “I’ll make you a deal though. Wear another one of my shirts and I’ll only make you use the small plug.”

“You sighed at his silly antics, “Yeah that seems fair.”

You giggled as you watched his bare ass run down the hallway back towards your room and for the hundredth time today you wondered how lucky you were to have gotten to this point with him.

Dabi returned moments later but he didn’t have a shirt or a plug. Instead he had something else entirely that had you blushing in embarrassment. “Uhhh Y/n? What the fuck is this?”

You avoided eye contact with him, pretending to suddenly be very interested in the ceiling tiles. “That would be my birth control.”

Yeah I got that… but what the fuck was it doing in the trash?”

You didn’t answer for a few seconds so he gripped your chin and forced you to look at him. “Answer me doll. What was your birth control doing in the trash?”

“Well… I mean it’s not like I want a baby right now…. but …”

Both of his hands were now on your cheeks locking you into his gaze, “But? But what?”

“But… It’s not like I don’t want one either.”

His lips crashed to yours. “Fuck yes! So we’re trying? Like officially?”

You brushed his unruly hair out of his face. “I mean I wouldn’t say we’re trying to have a baby. More like we’re no longer trying to prevent having a child. If it happens it happens.” You shrug with a playful smile.

Dabi smothered you with kisses. You knew he would be excited but you had no idea he’d be this excited.

“Oh shit… I just nutted in you…. Oh god it’s happening.” His hands found your stomach and you had to resist the urge to smack them away.

“It doesn’t happen that fast, you goofball. I literally just stopped taking it this morning.”

He picked you up and started walking toward the bedroom.

“Dabi! What about the pizza?!”

“Oh fuck the pizza! I just found out you want a baby. I must give it to you as soon as possible. Which means we have to go have sex. Lots of sex. For like… the rest of the day!”

He only made it a few steps before your stomach growled, making him pause. “Okay just a few slices… but THEN… we fuck for the rest of the day. I will put a baby in you. And that is a fucking promise.”

***********

*The Laws*

1. No fucking shrugging 2. No drugs 3. No saying sorry for something that isn’t your fault 4. We work on communication every day. 5. Wake up whenever the hell you want 6. No locked doors 7. We eat three full meals a day 8. No means no, no negotiations 9. We work on exercise every day 10. Ice cream must be kept in stock at all times 11. Accept help when it is offered 12. No lying 13. I will not initiate the sexy time without written or verbal consent.

************

Tags: tags: @falling4fandoms @wifunozomi @here-in-never-land @whore-for-anime @klecksstorys @aurorahoneybuns @theunknownrandom @insane-without-delirium @frenchsfryys @officiallydarkgeek @neofixcs @music-is-all-i-need @katsukibakubabe @unadulteratedtastemakerpoetry @dabislittlemouse @aimee1602 @pinkhatlizzy @kunaigirlx44 @nii-sanfucker @bestgirlb @silverstardrop @bakubby99 @squichymochi @sarahschance @babayaga67 @starenemy @squichymochi @soapbubblesx @haylaansmi

*************

Spotify Playlist

#bakugo katsuki imagine #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #bakugo katsuki #bakugo x reader #dabi my hero academia #dabi imagine #dabi #yandere dabi #dabi x y/n #dabi x you #dabi x reader #dabi bnha #mha dabi #dabi todoroki #mha fanfiction #mha x reader #my hero academia

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astoryisaloveaffair · 2 years

Text

My Mercenary Bold - Part 2: Off the Deep End

Pairing: Pero Tovar x Mermaid!Fem!Reader

*race and weight inclusive, see moodboard <3*

Read on A03

Spotify Playlist

Chapter Summary: Pero decides if he should try to see you again, damn the consequences

Word Count: 6,500K

Rating: Explicit, 18+

*If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature and explicit themes and kinks. Additionally, you understand and acknowledge warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story*

Chapter Warnings: scary, mentions of mermaids eating people, blood, cussing, SPOOKY & CREEPY, fingering, teratophilia (monster fucking)

A/N: I rise from the dead for five seconds to post this update! Finally! I’m gonna be honest, this only got done because 3/4 was already written before I went AWOL. I’m going on vacation and hopefully reset. No beta, we live and die like Oberyn Martell <3 M.

Suggested Song: “Shallow” cover by Fleurie & Tommee Profitt

*mermaid credits: Mermaid Skye

The next morning Pero woke early, calling for a maid to bring him a bucket of water and a mirror so he could finally shave. He used his dagger despite protestation from the maid, a buxom wench that easily would have pleased him in the past. He had no interest in her now.

After bringing a bucket for William to do the same, the two head up the steep hills of Positano in the direction of the Franzese Winery, the potential job they were told of in the pub the previous evening.

The main house was set up on the crest of the hill, overlooking the sea and the town below. A long, tiring dirt road leading up to a moderately sized house, surrounded by a remarkable amount of acres of grape vines. Set off to the side of the main house were three more smaller buildings, presumably where the storage and cellars were.

Pero and Will made their way to the front of the main house, pausing when they saw an older looking woman walking through one of the closest plots, periodically checking plants as she went. They wait patiently so as not to scare her, it would not do to frighten a woman alone, and she notices them as she ambles closer.

“Buongiorno!” [Hello!] She sang, a hand raised and a brilliant smile on her face. She was a handsome woman with a beautiful voice, hearty and round with long white hair braided into a sloppy crown on her head covered by an ill-fitting bonnet, sparkling eyes that reminded Pero of the ocean and a healthy blush on her cheeks from the sun. “What can I do for you, good sirs?”

Will steps forward, knowing never to trust Tovar and his surly attitude to make a good first impression. “Good day. My friend and I have unfortunately landed far astray from where we intended to travel, and we are out of coin for the remaining journey. We asked around town, someone in the pub suggested we come up here. He said you might have some work?”

She smirks, rolling back on her heels as she crosses her sun-tanned arms. Then, she calls out a name, so loud and bellowing that it startles Will. “Denis!” She looks back at the pair of men. “I am calling my brother, he will want to meet you before we decide.”

Will hears Pero grumbling behind him and turns abruptly to glare just as a thin older man wanders around from the back of the house.

“Denis, these men were inquiring about work.” She clues him in, the two of them looking Will and Pero conspiratorially.

“Where are you from?”

Will takes the lead once again. “I am from Ireland, and my friend here is from Spain. We are mercenaries for hire, and we had journeyed far East and are trying to make our way home. We set sail to Naples but there was a storm and our ship wrecked. We came ashore here.”

“Very lucky you did not die. Many have died in that sea.” Lady Franzese says. She did not sound surprised at all to Pero, and he found that odd “Were there no other survivors?”

Will shook his head.

“You must be very strong to have found your way to shore. A blessing from God, surely.” Says Mr. Franzese.

“We had help.”

Everyone’s eyes snapped to Pero, who had been so quiet until now. Will glares at him again.

“I am sorry, my friend got his head knocked a bit and is still confused on what happened. We are very lucky to have survived. We are still trying to make it to Naples and then back home, but we no longer have the money to do so. It is doubtful anyone needs our help fighting their enemies, but this is work we are surely capable of doing. We are strong and used to hard work, little sleep, and we keep to ourselves. I assure you, you will not be sorry.”

The older brother and sister whisper to each other, then invite WIll and Pero to get acquainted with the property while they decide.

The farm is beautiful, and Will takes his time taking in every single part of it, but Pero only settles himself on the crest of the hill, looking in the direction of the cove where he met you. He can’t stop thinking about you, even after last night’s dream, his mind comes back to you no matter how hard he tries to push it away.

He’s not an idiot. He’s heard tales of sirens and mermaids, all beautiful creatures capable of hypnotizing an unassuming man and dragging him to his doom. That certainly was true of the creature in his dream. But he did not feel the same way about you.

You had been scared of him. You’d had plenty of time that you could have put him in a spell, it would have been so easy. But you didn’t. You had sat with him and simply looked upon his face, allowing him to touch your hand. All the power and fear you could instill was not shown until you felt threatened, and instead of attacking, you fled. He was a warrior, he knew what a defensive action was and what wasn’t.

But he was still unsure. He remembers how you cupped his face, how you began humming to him and it made him feel a little fuzzy. Not out of control, but more relaxed. You’d closed your eyes and moved closer to him and…it felt like…maybe you were going to kiss him. His heart is hammering in his chest so hard that when he hears his name he jumps and almost rolls down the hill. He turns to Will with a glare.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize you were…lost in your thoughts. Come. They’re going to take us on. They want to show us around.”

Their quarters are attached to the back of the cellar, it was a cozy but clean room with two beds on opposite walls, both filled with sweet smelling hay. It would do for the time they would be here, and the Franzeses leave the two mercenaries alone to get settled before supper.

A heavier sleeper than Pero, William takes the bed furthest from the door, as usual, and Pero settles himself onto the bed nearest to it, ripping his boots off with a sigh and stashing the last weapons he had under the mattress and his dagger under his pillow.

The meal was even more delicious than the pub, another strong bowl of seafood stew but with fresh bread and the best wine Pero has ever drank. Spending time with the brother and sister is more pleasant than Pero thought it would be. They are a jovial pair with a brusque manner and plenty of stories to tell from their long lives, intrigued about his and William’s story without being nosy, and Pero is surprised to find himself enjoying their company and slipping into a state of ease. They talk late into the night, and Pero is pleasantly drunk when he collapses into bed. He can’t remember the last time he felt comfortable enough to do so.

The next morning he wakes with William bright and early, settling themselves on the stone fence before the main house for direction. He might be gruff and quiet, but Pero was always punctual, and when he intended to do something he committed himself completely. They spent the morning following around Denis as he tended to the fields, showing them the methods they used to nurture, weed, nourish, and harvest the vines. It became clear how the pair could need help, the amount of fields they had to do alone was overwhelming. Pero couldn’t imagine the two of them having to do this alone. He asks about it during lunch, launching Marena into a detailed outline of how they rotate which field is worked on which day, and how now that they were here it would be worked in the future.

After lunch, Marena brings the two men into one of the buildings they had noticed the day before, which ends up being the fermentation cellar. She shows them the different areas for freshly picked but not sorted grapes, then picked and sorted, as well as several massive barrels filled with grapes for crushing, some for red and some for white. The men spent the rest of the day here, learning what to look for when sorting the fruit and the best way to extract the juice (by foot!). That was Pero’s favorite part.

From there, William and Pero were shown the fermentation, clarification, and bottling processes, ending the day in the storage cellar used for aging the final product before selling. Early evening was left for their own devices, and they were given the option to join for supper or see to themselves. They chose to dine with the siblings. The food Marena made was too good to pass up, and the company was excellent.

But after supper, once again, Pero found himself at the crest of the hill, his eyes gazing longingly in the direction of your hidden cave lagoon.

The next week settles the two men into their new routine, waking with the sun to tend to whichever field was next in rotation, followed by assisting Denis and Marena in bottling preparations. They each found what they enjoyed or were good at, and Will was happy to leave Pero to stomp on grapes to his heart's content while he helped ferment the results. Occasionally they would go down to the village in the evenings, together or separate, but most of the time they continued dining with the Franzeses. They went to bed every night exhausted and sore, but content and feeling fulfilled.

They learned much of the older siblings, born of a French father who had found himself in the village by chance and ended up staying when he fell for a local, a beautiful woman who loved the sea and couldn’t bear to be taken away from it. So he stayed for her, building a business and raising their children together. Pero noticed that Will had seemed very taken with the story.

And every single night, Pero would perch on his lookout until it was so dark he couldn’t see anything, let alone a hint of you in the ocean from so far away. William learned to leave him alone and not ask questions as Pero preferred to not speak about it.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was a yearning he’d never felt so strongly, incomparable to the pull of a favored whore or willing bedmate he’d had on the road. He felt like his chest was collapsing in on itself more as each day passed without seeing you again.

He made it two weeks. Two weeks until he made a great show about how tired he was, waiting patiently for Will’s heavy snores and the lights of the main house to be blown out before getting up once more and creeping into the yard. He paused near the stone gate, turning back to make sure no one had heard or seen him.

He’s surprised at how easy it is to find his way back towards the cave. The stars are bright, his lantern is steady, and the moon is three quarters full, but the night’s still dark. Yet it seems like his feet just know where to go.

He takes extra care as he enters the switchback path that leads down to the cliff edge he’d almost fallen from before, holding his lantern arm straight in front of him for balance, other hand gripping the dirt and rock of the hill as he shimmies along. The sound of the soft waves below him tells him what would happen should he misstep.

He stumbles at the end, his heart almost flying out of his mouth as he trips over some rubble and dives forward, thankfully landing on the grass of the cliff's edge. He curses, gathering his wits back and righting his lantern before entering the cave.

The going is slow, he can’t see anything, and there is no moonglow or star shine to even light a bit of his way. He’s more careful than before, reaching his foot out farther than his normal gait at every step to see if there’s any rocks or boulders in the way to trip on. After what feels like hours, he finally sees the soft and barely visible glow of blue from deeper in the cavern.

He hopes it’s you.

In excitement he trips and stumbles once again, his free hand flinging out against the walls of the cavern to catch himself so he doesn’t bash his brains out upon the rock floor, but his grip on one side lands awkwardly. His palm slides forward against something sharp and he feels a piercing burn as his palm slices open on the wall.

When he gains his footing he kneels, holding the lantern against his palm. His hand is bleeding profusely, but the cut is not too deep. He quickly slices a piece of his undertunic and ties it tight to staunch the flow, only looking back up to the pool when he’s done.

You aren’t there. The blue-ish glow was from the water itself and the moon shining in from the cracks in the ceiling above. Pero sighs in disappointment, crawling forward towards the edge of the water, lifting his lantern out to try and see if you’re hiding behind something.

“Sirena?” He whispers into the dark. But the only noise he hears is the barely audible sound of the ocean water meeting the rocks. He pauses, realizing if you did come and he was wrong about you, he would be defenseless. He sets the lantern down on the ground beside his leg, pulling his dagger out with his dominant hand.

He waits for a long time, softly calling, wishing for you in the case you were telepathic and could hear him from where you were. Just before he’s about to give up and go back to the winery, something urges him to reach out his hand, slipping it into the cool water as if he could summon you to his palm.

He immediately regrets it, forgetting about the cut on his hand and the salty ocean water stings like a thousand little knives all over the surface of his skin. But before he can withdraw, a scaled hand with sharp, pointed nails bursts out of the water and grabs his wrist. He gasps, falling back on his arse as he tries to force the mystery hand to release him. He can feel the water and blood dripping down his wrist and onto the hand, the salt water having cleaned the injury and re-opening it, and he panics when he realizes he’s probably about to be eaten.

The hand does let go, and he scoots backwards as two hands emerge from the water and grasp the rocks, heaving you up and onto the rock floor.

He recognizes you instantly and moves towards you. “Sirena!”

You hiss softly, grabbing his wrist and pulling him close, his nose almost bumps into yours and he can see the translucent glitter of your skin sparkling in the moonlight. You push him back and pull his bloody hand in front of his face. “You go!” Your eyes are wide and look like the night sky and he doesn’t understand.

“Sirena, I-” You shake your head, dropping his hand and pushing him back forcefully on the chest. “What are–”

“We EAT. They EAT!” You point again to his hand, and then back to the water. “YOU LEAVE! Be SAFE!” You look absolutely terrified, and as you grimace he sees the flash of your long pointed teeth. And it clicks.

Those are the teeth of creatures that eat meat. Ripping, tearing, shredding.

There’s more mermaids. They’re hunters. And he just put his bloody palm in the water.

“Fuck.” He scrambles up, snatching his dagger and lantern as he backs out of the cave. Before he leaves, he whispers to you. “Sirena, what of you?”

Your blue lips tremble. “You leave. You safe. Go!” With that, you leap back into the pool with a massive splash, turning quickly and putting your hands over where your ears should be. You pat them repeatedly. He doesn’t understand what you’re saying. “No.” You pat your ears several times again and repeat yourself. “No. Okay?”

Your attention is pulled away from him, and you look back towards the water with concern, disappearing from view without another word. Pero turns to run out of the cavern, miraculously not falling at all the entire way out to the cliffside.

He skids to a halt, placing his lantern on the ground haphazardly as he leans over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. His heart is racing and he kneels, trying to beat the vertigo coursing through his system. When the swirling stops, he lowers himself fully to the ground on his belly, shuffling forward to be able to look over the cliffside into the dark ocean crashing against the edge below him. He hopes to see you, and for a moment his heart soars as he sees the soft glow of multiple blue lights shining from beneath the surface. But…the lights are coming from the wrong way, and then there are more, and more, and even more beyond that so it looks like the whole ocean is lit up. There were too many lights for just you.

“Mierda…” He whispers to himself, pushing himself away from the edge as they came closer faster than he ever could have imagined, rolling to his feet and grabbing his lantern to traverse the little path, shimmying the same way back as he came.

And then he heard it.

[the mermaid’s song]

At first it sounded like a woman sighing in the breeze, cresting into a chorus of song so haunting it sent shivers up Pero’s spine. There were no words, just a trilling harmony that grew so loud Pero would be shocked if the village hadn’t heard it, so loud his head was buzzing and he couldn’t hear anything else but the beauty of it. He halts in his steps, closing his eyes as he grows confused and his nerves start tingling.

It builds quickly, a swelling of euphoria from the tips of his fingers and toes shooting through his nerves and veins until they slam into his chest. His knees almost buckle and he instantly becomes hard as the cliff he’s clinging to, a long whine releasing from his lips as he is overwhelmed with such a need, he can’t think about anything other than relieving it.

He presses his back to the cliff, his feet sliding forward slightly on the thin path but he doesn’t even notice as he reaches down to take himself in hand, squeezing and pulling at the throbbing bulge there. He’s about to rip his laces apart and shove his pants down when he hears the soft call, slightly familiar, sweeter than honey.

It’s unintelligible but not, calling his name, but he can’t actually hear his name called. Regardless, his feet move of his own accord, he couldn’t stop them even if he tried. He pushes himself off the cliff wall and turns, intending to head back the way he came, back to the beautiful woman calling for him, who needs him so desperately he won’t even consider denying her.

He walks right off the side of the cliff in a haze, barely missing jutting rock pieces that could have impaled him, and he doesn’t even feel the chill of the water when he drops into it. He turns to swim towards his woman, only going a few feet when out of the shadows of the murky water, a blob forms, coming fast and close. At the last moment, it swerves and whizzes past him, but grabs him by the arm and yanks him behind it. He’s so out of it he can’t even feel the pain of his shoulder almost dislocating.

He struggles, it is the complete opposite way he wants to go! He has to follow the sounds, he has to be together with the one calling his name. But the creature holding him is too strong, it tugs him down and around the cliff face, aiming straight for the shore of Positano. It hugs the cliffside, using the overhang above to keep to the shadows as it approaches the shore without slowing down at all. The inertia carries it through with the aid of a wave, flinging it forward as it beaches itself further up in the sand.

It pulls Pero up to sit and grabs his face with slimy hands, forcing him to look at it. He can’t register it, can’t even process what he’s seeing before him because the voice calling him is so fucking loud it actually is painful. He winces in pain, folding in on himself because it feels like his head might explode. He’s so cold, violently shaking, but not from the ocean. It makes him almost cry out, but the slimy hand clamps itself over his mouth.

“No.” A voice hisses. “SHHhh!”

He can’t recognize it’s you, can’t realize what he’s doing at all. You flip him onto his back as the ocean crashes against your tail, pinning him to the ground as he struggles.

“Man. No. Shhh.” You coo but it doesn’t work, even though the sounds of your sisters are fading away. His trembling intensifies and you sigh, knowing you have no choice. You tilt your head down pressing your cheek to his as you sing as soft as you can right into his ear. He soothes immediately and shifts his focus to you with wild eyes, his arms wrapping around you and touching you everywhere, large cold hands up your sides, to the sides of your breasts. You can feel how he is reacting to you.

You sing to him until your sisters are gone, holding him close as he mindlessly kneads your chest and licking and nipping at your breasts. When you end your song it doesn’t take long for him to recover, the tension in his body releases against you, his eyelids lower in a more natural position, his heart rate slowing. You stay with him until he finally notices you, your tail flipping absently in the surf.

“Sirena?”

You hum, looking back down into his eyes as you lay beside him. He looks different, the blackness around his mouth is gone revealing white skin from chill. You find that you like how he looks without it.

You sit up, releasing him to cover your pointed ears with both hands, patting your ears several times for emphasis, staring at him with wide eyes. You point to the ocean, remaining patient as you try to communicate with him.

“Cover your ears.” He whispers beside you, and you can tell he understands now, the dawning on his expression barely visible in the dark. “Sirena…you save me again.” He touches your arm hesitantly, then cups it with his palm and slides down to your hand which he grasps inside his own. “Thank you.”

You don’t know what he’s saying but you feel it, and he scoots forward in the wet sand to get close to you once again. He slowly reaches to take your chin between his fingers and meet his eyes.

He finally has the chance to see you up close, take you in as long as he wants. You were eerie, yes, but he also found you to be the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen, land or sea. Wide eyes with an odd shaped pupil, jutting cheekbones and the longest eyelashes he’d ever seen.

The spell breaks and you jerk your head out of his hand, rolling to pull yourself back to the ocean.“No no, please, let me.” And then you are up in his arms, your own naturally falling around his neck. You softly thread your long pointed fingernails through his salty hair. Your tail trails on the ground as he takes you down the wet sand and wades into the water until it’s at his hips, but he just can’t let go of you yet. “Sirena…I…I wish to see you again. I do no want to say goodbye.” His arms tighten and you press your cheek to his chest.

After several bittersweet moments he finally releases you with a sigh. You plop back into the water with a splash. He laughs, and he looks so beautiful to you, the way that smile lights up his face. You want to see it more. You point in the direction of the cave. “You go.”

“Go…go…again? Go back to that place, si?”

You tilt your head, pointing once more. “Go.”

He cups your face. “Bueno, Sirena. Till next time.” He pulls away, and you take one more look at him before diving under the next wave and disappearing.

He doesn’t realize until you’re gone that he has no idea how to call for you.

Sopping wet, Pero walks in silence down the main street of town, turning away from the cobblestones and onto the dirt road that leads farther up the hillside to more homes, less wealthy merchants, and farms. Everything at the winery had remained as it was when he left, no one had noticed his absence.

He sighs, heading to his own quarters and slides through the door quietly, immediately pulling off his drenched tunic and breeches and reaching for a new one that the Franzese’s had loaned him. He crawls into bed with a groan, already feeling the soreness from his ordeal spreading across his muscles.

Up in the main house, Marena turns from the darkened window and slides back into bed with a smile on her face.

The next day can’t go by fast enough for Pero. He finds himself having to pause and try to calm himself multiple times during his work to keep from rushing through and making mistakes. He barely comprehends what he’s doing and the moment everyone has gone to bed, he throws the quilt off him and all but races to your cave.

But when he gets there, he has no idea what to do. How does he summon a mermaid? And not any mermaid, just you? He racks his brain for stories and legends he may have heard throughout his life for some means to call you to him, but he recalls nothing, and he finally opts to just sit on the rocky floor and wait for you. He’ll wait all night if he has to.

After about an hour, his back is tired and his muscles are sore. He’s not a patient man and he feels himself growing frustrated. But he won’t give up waiting. You said you’d be here. Pero pulls a knee up to his chest, resting his cheek against his knee while he waits, drifting in and out of sleep.

A soft bubbling rouses him, but when he looks up he sees nothing, no disturbance in the water, and he can only see about a foot down into the dark depths. But he hears the sound again, so he leans over the water, praying for that beautiful blue glow from your fins.

Suddenly, something explodes out of the water and before he knows it, two arms are wrapping around his chest as he is yanked back down as it sinks underwater again. It doesn’t let go, he is held tight with such strength he doesn’t even need to tread water, and a tinkling giggle sounds in his ear as you push him back from you to look into his face.

His surly expression immediately breaks, a wide smile and a huff of laughter as he recognizes you. “Sirena!”

You grin back at him, sharp teeth shining with the small amount of light, a soft bubbling coo escaping your lips as you pull him to you again, hugging him close. Pero sighs, an arm cautiously moving to grasp your waist so as not to touch your spiny fins, the other hand cupping the back of your wet hair as he folds you into him.

“Are you well, mi ángel?” He whispers. He’s already growing cold, he’s only in breeches and his night tunic after all, but he ignores the shivers as he rests his chin on top of your wet hair. His chin rests on something hard and he pulls back, fingering his wet hands through your hair to see that you have tiny little shells and twining wrapped in the braids of your hair.

When he meets your eyes again you’re staring at him with an overeager expression that he finds adorable and sweet. Nothing like the monster in his dream. He opens his mouth to speak to you once more, but stutters as a strong shiver runs from his head to his toes and fingers. “Fuck, Sirena.” He pulls away from you and he sees your face fall as he turns around and heaves himself back up onto the rocks, yanking his sopping wet shirt off and laying it out on the rocks to dry. He motions for you to come join him.

You pull yourself up shyly, he thinks maybe you are hesitant to stray too far from the edge, so instead he moves back to you. “You need not fear me, Sirena. I would not hurt you.”

But that’s not it at all. He was…you don’t know, you’d never felt this way before looking at someone, a pinching in your chest and a warmth growing near your sex at the sight of his broad form. Rivulets of water drip across the skin and you suddenly feel the desire to want to lick them up and off of him.

Instead, your hand darts out to him, fingers spread, but you pull back when he startles away from you. You consider for a moment singing to him once again, calm him down so you can touch him, even kiss him, but before you push that thought aside his large hand encompasses your wrist, fingers carefully avoiding your sharp arm fins. He tugs your hand back slowly and places it palm flat on his chest. “It is okay, Sirena, you can touch me here.”

You close your eyes and hum, sensing the hearty blood running through his veins, the heartbeat quickening under your scaled hand the only indication he feels any fear at all. It is a lot for him to give you trust, you can sense it immediately. His torso is riddled with scars and circular wounds that have long since healed, similar to the best warriors of your own pod. He was a fighter as well. You trail your fingers from his chest up, following the path of a very large and wide scar rounding over his shoulder to his back, leaving his skin only momentarily before you inspect the scar over his eye. You touch it too, oh so gently, you know your hands and arms are weapons and you don’t wish to startle him. He sighs and closes his eyes at your touch. You run your fingernails through his beard stubble as you take them away from him. You wish you could touch him forever, be adjoined to him always.

But it was impossible. You look down abruptly, trying to stave off the tears burning under your eyelids, but a rough finger pad taps you under the chin, forcing you to meet his eyes once more.

“Do no be shy, Sirena. You are beautiful.” He reaches out then, mimicking what you did to him so you would understand, careful not to align his hand with your chest. It takes everything in him not to constantly stare at the water running down them, how hard your nipples always are. You were not a whore, it was not right to stare, and for some reason Pero suddenly gave a fuck about that.

He meets your eyes instead. “Can I touch you, mi hermosa criatura?” You simply stare, and he tries to communicate with his eyes his good intentions as he takes your hand in his, turning it so it is palm down in his own.

Your hand is slightly slimy, scales merging with skin around your wrist and up your arm surrounding your arm fins. The color is impossible to determine, they look like pure opal, able to reflect any color under the sun. They glimmer in the light too, and he slides his thumb over them to feel the texture. They are sharp, but don’t cut him and he continues up your arm to your wrist fins, knowing the spines are capable of being so much longer than they are now.

Pero holds your arm up close to his face to inspect it, an iridescent membrane supported by six spines in an arc when he spreads the fin gently. It reminded him of a ship’s sail, it could be open or closed, used to swim or protect.

“Quite impressive weapons, Sirena.” He chuckles, letting your arm go. Your eyes are sparkling with mirth and he can see those sharp teeth through your grin. He crosses his arms in an X in front of his chest. “Come, let me see. Let them out.”

You tilt your head and he carries on, mimicking slashing something up until you giggle and push his arms down. He takes your hands in his, holding them in his lap as your fins lift and expand, growing longer the spines are almost a hand long instead of half of one.

“Que bonita.” He admires. “Now, let me see the back.”

He motions for you to turn around and you do, a shiver running down your flesh as he fingers and caresses a similar but much larger dorsal fin on your back. Finally satisfied again, he turns you back in front of him and cups your shoulders, fingers sliding across shimmering scales.

“Eres magnifico…may I see your lights Sirena…I have dreamed of them most nights since I first saw you.” He motions with his hands once again, it takes a few moments to understand him but once you do you close your eyes, pushing the energy out so the ends of your appendages, pectoral fins, and several more protective spines all the way down to your massive tail fins swirling around in the water.

Pero’s face lights up with the blue glow bathing the entire cavern, completely swallowing the warm light of his small lantern and you can’t help but smile with him as he instructs you to let him hold your entire tail in his lap to look closer. His hands are large and rough, yet they feel…

The way they slide down the muscles of your body makes you feel a warmth low in your gut start growing, burning stronger and stronger as he continues down, petting and cooing, spreading out your fins and fingering the webbing between them with such care you sigh out in a gasp.

When you open your eyes again he is sitting and staring at you with such a hunger you would have thought he might eat you, his fingertips sinking into the scales of your tail in a way that should hurt, but only makes you more overcome with the feeling. You hadn’t realized you had moaned.

“Does that…feel good, Sirena?” He husks, sliding his hands back up your tail, the rough backsides of your scales grazing against his palms. You can’t move, your jaw simply drops open as he shimmies closer to you. Hands glide over hips, against your waist, settling neatly on your abdomen. Your heart is racing and you’re panting and you don’t understand why.

His thumbs hesitantly brush against the underside of your breast and you look down at his hands, remembering how he had touched you the day before. He hadn’t meant it, and you were too occupied trying to save him to really register how it felt. But you find that you want him to touch you like that again.

You take his hands in yours and guide them up to your breasts, and he heaves a sigh of arousal as he cups you in his hands, massaging and squeezing until he feels you are receptive enough for him to tease your nipples. When he’s certain you enjoy it, he increases his attentions on them, pinching and rubbing the cold skin, almost cumming in his breeches at how pretty you sound for him.

He launches forward, his lips fastening to one of your nipples as he continues playing with the other, tongue swirling and nudging and nibbling on the sensitive flesh. You moan loud, the sound echoing off the cavern as you arch your back, presenting yourself more to his groping. Your fingers slide into his still drying hair, gripping it hard to keep him where you want him.

You can feel it happening abruptly, and the moment it does you understand. The little fins below your hips opening and revealing the small slit of your entrance. He was trying to mate with you, peeling you open like a clam and readying you for his seed. And you find that you don’t object to that at all.

But this…is not how it’s supposed to be. When you come of age you must choose your own mate, but you had never once heard of coupling with a human. Yet he instinctively knows, a hand sliding back down your body, fingers searching and searching for something. When he finds it, he slows down and observes you.

You’re a wreck. Overwhelmed and panting, it feels like your brain isn’t even working correctly and it scares you but doesn’t. You don’t know what you’re doing, you’ve never done this before, yet you don’t want to stop…

“If I were to touch you Sirena…would it be here?” His eyes flick upwards as he circles his finger around your sex, gently nudging a fingertip inside. You cry out and he withdraws, making sure you are not in pain. “I am sorry. I…I forgot myself hermosa. Lo siento.”

You sigh, your body slumping slightly as he pulls you to him and cradles you in his arms.

“I know you can no understand me well. Did I hurt you? Did I scare you?”

“No.”

“Bueno.”

You spend the next two hours in his arms against his bare chest as he cards his fingers through your hair, listening to him speak even though you only understand a few things until you pull away from him with no warning and slide back into the water.

“Oh. You must go?” Pero feels his heart drop into his stomach, only to swoop back up as you slap your hand on the rocks.

“Go.” You point your fingertip to the cave floor, then gesture around you at the walls. “You go.”

He smiles, pointing to the ground as well. “Here?”

You blink rapidly, your lips twisting as you say the word. “Here.”

He nods. “Yes. Here. I go here tomorrow.”

He gives your hand one more squeeze before you dive back beneath the water.

Pero spends the next few weeks visiting you every evening. He teaches you his name, tells you about his life, holds you close and the two of you often simply lie on the floor of the cave in silence staring into each other’s eyes.

He never tries to touch you again. Two weeks pass full of frustration until tonight, when you take matters into your own hands out of desperation, grabbing his hand and firmly pressing it onto your breast.

You’ve never felt anything like what he does for you tonight.

He smiles as he heads back to the winery, his head so in the clouds thinking about the way you moved, the sounds you made as he made you cum around his fingers, he doesn’t even see Marena until he all but slams into her.

“Come.” She snips. “We must talk. Now.”

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Post A/N: Hopefully the descriptions of all her fins make sense, if not, here is an idea! Her tail is the color you want it to be <3

#pero tovar #pedro pascal #pero tovar x reader #pero tovar x you #pero tovar x fem!reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #mine #the great wall

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raving-raven-writing · 11 months

Note

2,3,6 and 13💜

Thanks for the ask @roxynmae I noticed you changed your profile picture, it's cool, I like it! 2. Do you read/reread your own fics? I do indeed read and reread my own stories. Sometimes for fun or if I can't find anything that is new or updated with a certain tag/vibe I want to read. Other times I will reread a work if someone leaves a comment and comments on something that I don't remember where I'm like "Gotta go refresh my brain." Other times I do it out of boredom, and just to see my own work in a less critical eye. Because as I am reading fics, I sometimes forget the name of the author, and I've done that before with my own stuff, where I will read it, go and look at the author name and I'm like "Oh, that's me. Well, that was a pretty good story." 3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? I don't know if I have an all time favorite story that I've written. I have a handful of stories that I would label a favorite. One that certainly seems to be a favorite among other readers if I look at my statistics is There For You for The Umbrella Academy fandom, which is pretty good if you ask me. I also like most of the Newsies stories I've written. My Snowpiercer content is also good too imo--I have a one shot that is over 10,000 words which is my longest ever! In regards to Avatar fandom, I like A Sleepwalking Spider probably the best at the moment--puts a smile to my face everytime. 6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time? Hmm, yes, there are. Reread and or read when it's updated. I particularly like your "Sins of the Father" and also "Stolen Laughs"; those are both good rereads! Also waiting on you to update Live and Let Die Also, @lanzzo story "Frakrr Say", there's one chapter I keep rereading for a guilty pleasure. @naavispider stories Caught and Cat's In the Cradle. @stupidlytiredstudent story "You'll Be in My Heart"--freaking love how they write! @fictionramblings "Left For Dead"--like the Japez action they're throwing in there. And also their All You Have is Your Soul. @imeanwhynotbruv The Blood of Children"--make me cry why don't you and"Brother Mine". And idk if this person has Tumblr, but on ao3 CheeseSnack's "I Wish I Could Let You Go". And then also @dumbass-tumbler-cryptid "Mama's Boy" and "Cabin in the Woods"-love that they're making this a choose your own ending type thing! @mayfriend "Tabula Rasa" and @futureslaps "The Captive". And I am not sure if these people have Tumblr either, but on ao3 GobiBSide's "Custody" and Quickbow's "Radiator" Sorry, that's a long ass list! But they're all great reads! I am sure there are more I could list but thee ones that are complete are ones that come to mind now and again. The ones that are in progress also come to mind quite often as well.

12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it! I don't have Spotify and I'm not one for making playlists normally. Sometimes, one or two songs will pop into my head for something I am writing. Right now, with the smutty WIP I got, "Mommy Issues" by Cloudy June is probably at the top of the very small list.

Thanks again for the asks. And, sorry to anyone that I @ if you didn't want to be.

EDIT: I realize I was looking at the wrong damn number for the last one. Oops. But whatever, I'll answer 12 too. So to answer 13. How much planning do you do before writing? I do a little bit of planning. I will normally have a general outline, and if not, I will know how the story begins and have an idea when/how the story will end.

#fanfiction writer asks #ask game tag #fanfiction writers #ao3.org #avatarfanfiction #atwow fanfiction #multiple fandoms #the umbrella academy fandom #newsies fandom #snowpiercer fanfiction #thanks for the ask

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tired-truffle · 2 years

Text

Rivers and Roads

A Lokixfem!reader Fic

Word Count: 3.7k

Part 14/16

Trigger Warnings at the end of the fic

Tagged readers (let me know if you want to be tagged in future updates!): @scarlet2007 @lovelysizzlingbluebird

Song Recommendation for this chapter:

I made a playlist on my spotify of other songs I think go well with this chapter :)

Masterlist

“To ensure that whoever possesses it, understands its power; The Stone demands a sacrifice.”

The words you had been dreading to hear since you realized what you would have to do were finally said. You had been suppressing your terror and anxiety since the idea first came to you. Yet, as you stood at the edge of the cliff on Voromir, overlooking its barren yet strangely beautiful landscape, you found that you also felt relief. It was almost over, everything you’d done had led up to this moment and you would make sure you saw it through. You didn’t have any other options.

“In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. A soul for a soul.”

It took all your willpower to turn around, you knew as soon as you saw Loki, that brief sense of relief would vanish.

“I accept the stone’s demand.” Your voice wavered as you saw the realization dawn on Loki’s face, quickly replaced by a spark of rage, of betrayal.

“You knew.” He hissed, taking a few steps forward, “You knew you lied to everyone, you lied to me. Did you really think I would let you sacrifice one of us? And for what? They’ve all been dead for five years, let them stay that way!”

You took a careful step back towards the cliff and he halted his advance, panic fleeting across his face, “I never planned on sacrificing you, they still need you, Thor still needs you. You’ve seen the shape that he’s in, it would tear the last part of his heart away if he lost you too.”

You were right, that moment on the hill at New Asgard had been the first time you’d seen him hopeful in five years, you couldn’t go back and tell him that his last family member had died. You couldn’t snuff out his spark like that.

“I don’t give a damn what my brother needs,” He growled, his fists clenching at his sides.

You chuckled humourlessly, “We both know that’s a lie.”

He clenched his jaw, “You know I can stop you, you aren’t strong enough to overpower me. I’ve proven that on many occasions.”

“I know,” You said, palms turned up in an effort to display trust and openness, “but before you try, will you at least hear me out?”

“Nothing you could say would make me let you fall to your death for some stupid rock.” He spat, his face contorting with disgust, “Do you really think so little of me that you believe I would allow this lunacy?”

“Please, Loki, let me explain.”

His jaw clenched as though it took all his effort not to spit back a retort. You took that as a go-ahead or as much of one as you were going to get.

“You brought me here six years ago. You wanted answers on what your future held, but instead, you got me and my faulty memory of a movie series I’d watched.” You smiled sadly at him, “I couldn’t change anything, no matter what I did. I tried so hard but nothing got better. Ragnarok still happened, Thanos still snapped, and here we are, years later and I haven’t made a dent. I have nothing left to offer but this. I have to do this, I couldn’t let anyone else take the risk. Romanoff would have done it, but she’s sacrificed enough. She could have her family back, she deserves to live, to be happy, for once. You all do.”

“And you don’t?” He demanded. You didn’t say it, but the look in your eyes was enough for him to understand that you didn’t think you deserved that, not after all your failures, “And you did change something, you saved me.”

You blew out a shaky breath as you tried to hold back your tears, “I’m not meant to be here, this isn’t my world, you’ll all be fine without me, just like you were before. I chose this as my destiny.” You chuckled under your breath, “It’s my glorious purpose if you will.”

Anger flashed in his eyes, “That’s not funny.”

“Oh come on, Loki, I’m about to die,” Your voice broke and you choked back the ever-building sob in your throat, “Let me have this.”

He ground his teeth, “No.”

Whether that meant he wouldn’t let you have this or he wouldn’t let you die didn’t matter, you had to keep going. You took a step back towards the cliff’s edge, Loki moving with you.

“You have to let me go, you’ll be okay.” You promised, though you weren’t sure who you were trying to convince of this more; Loki or yourself.

“Princess,” He said so softly, so full of a deep and powerful emotion you won’t let yourself name for fear that you’d back out of your plan. The sound of your name as a plea on his lips shattered your heart into a million pieces and you stifled the sob that tried to pull itself from your throat. You had to do this, you couldn’t give up now, as much as you might want to.

“I won’t let you go. I need you…” He trailed off, opening his mouth as though he wanted to say more, before shutting it with a look of pain on his face. You saw it then, that subtle ripple in the air as he projected an image of himself while he went invisible. You knew he would do this, you knew him better than you’d like to admit, but you’d come prepared. He underestimated you and you had counted on that.

“Loki, please don’t do this.” Your eyes filled with tears as you felt his arms loop around your waist and up your back, hauling you securely against him as he pulled you away from the edge, spinning so it was his back to the cliff.

“I brought you to this world, I allowed you to come on this trip because you said it would be an easy puzzle that we could both solve, that you wanted to take the chance to see an alien planet with me. You didn’t think you could lie to the God of Lies and get away with it, did you?” His voice sounded so full of rage, but from the way his hands shook as they pressed flat against your back you knew it was to cover up the hurt and the terror he was too afraid to show.

You held back a shuddering sob, leaving your arms hanging limply at your sides. You knew he wouldn’t make it easy for you, but you had had no idea how much the thought of leaving him forever so that the lives of billions could go on would tear at your heart and soul. It was simple enough, in theory, one soul for so many, but it was your soul, and you had tied it so fiercely to the man holding you against him like a lifeline that it became difficult to see past his sad, sea-green eyes.

“I knew you’d figure it out sooner or later,” You laughed lightly in an attempt to cover your sobs but you ended up with hot tears streaming down your face as you subtly reached into the pocket of your pants and gripped the cold metal inside, “I also knew you’d try to stop me, but I can’t let you, the fate of billions of people depends on it.” You gripped the back of his leather outfit in one hand, the other bringing up the syringe you had hidden.

“Pray tell what a puny mortal like you could do against a God like me? Must we go back to keeping you in a cage?” His voice dripped with the venom he always used to cover up his true feelings, the ones he didn’t want anyone to know he had, but that had been painfully obvious to you from the moment you first saw him.

“You’re angry, and that’s okay, you can be angry with me.” You pulled back so you could look at his face creased with worry, you moved your hand that had been clenching his clothes to his cheek, brushing your finger of his smooth skin and released a shuddering breath as he leaned into your touch, his eyes desperately searching yours, “But I need you to know I’m not trying to abandon you, Loki, I wouldn’t be doing this if I had any other choice. You know me, you know I couldn’t condemn someone else to death.”

“Then you should have let me carry that burden. I would push them over the cliff myself if it meant you would be safe. They already see me as the villain, it wouldn’t make a difference to me.” He leaned forward so your foreheads touched, his skin was warm against yours, a reminder of the life you were giving up for yourself and yet giving to so many others.

“No.” You shook your head, “You are meant for so much more than that, more than this, more than me,” Your voice cracked and you had to stop before you let your terror break through the wall of emotions you were holding back.

“That’s not your choice to make.”

You smiled, a true, genuine smile, as you thought of how much he had changed since you first met him, how he’d gone from surviving to living. Those little moments together in your cottage in New Asgard were the reasons you were able to be in this moment, prepared to sacrifice your life, to undo what you hadn’t been able to see. You’d gotten so much more time with Loki than you could ever have imagined, and you were thankful for that gift.

“It’s your choice what you do with your future, just as my sacrifice will be my choice and mine alone.” Before he could react you brought the syringe down as fast as you could and jammed it into his backside, emptying the contents in one quick motion.

The flash of betrayal in his eyes broke your heart anew, you hated that you had done this to him.

His eyes widened, “What did you do.”

It wasn’t a question, it was an accusation.

“Like I said,” Your lips trembled as his grip on you slackened, “I knew you’d try to stop me, and I couldn’t let you. I came prepared.”

As his body went limp, you tried your best to catch him and ease him onto the floor. You may not have been the strongest person, and he was heavier than you’d anticipated, but you were able to clumsily bang up your knees on the hard rock surface to keep him from getting hurt.

His eyes fluttered as he tried to stay conscious, his breathing slowing as the drugs took effect.

“Princess,” He whispered, a last, desperate plea, and as much as it killed you to leave him like this, you knew what you had to do.

“I’m so sorry, Loki,” Your chest spasmed as the sobs you were trying so hard to hold back finally broke free. The tears streamed down your face in rivers as you gritted your teeth against the onslaught of anguish. “I wanted nothing more than to spend my life with you by my side,” You pursed your lips, your salty tears leaking into your mouth. “But I’m afraid that’s not in the cards for us.”

“Don’t leave me.” He begged, his eyes filling with tears as his body remained unresponsive to his wishes.

“I left you a note, it’s under my pillow.” You ignored his request, if you tried to answer you didn’t know if you’d have the strength to deny him. “I’m not good at saying how I feel, and maybe that makes me a coward for not telling you to your face, but for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t change a thing about the past six years, every moment with you was perfect.”

He groaned, a small sound of distress as his brain could no longer resist the drugs and he was swept away into unconsciousness. You stroked his cheeks with the back of your fingers, wiping away the few tears he had shed. Your body was wracked with sobs as you leaned forward, placing a light kiss soaked with tears on his forehead, “I’m sorry I never said it when you could hear it,” You whispered, “But I always loved you.”

It took everything you had to pull yourself away from him, you’d already taken enough time. You didn’t know how fast the drugs would wear off on a God, Stark hadn’t given you specifics, and you couldn’t risk him waking back up and stopping you, you only had one dose and even if you had more, you doubt he’d underestimate you again.

You stepped to the edge of the cliff, staring down at the rocky platform below. Your heart was hammering in your throat, your palms getting slick with sweat, your survival instinct screaming at you to step back.

“Will this work?” You asked the Red Skull without turning to look at him.

“The soul stone will accept your sacrifice.” The Red Skull confirmed, his voice carrying along the wind towards you.

You nodded, taking a deep and shaky breath, “Will he hate me for this?” You didn’t know why you asked. Comfort, maybe, or confirmation that you are doing the right thing. Whatever it was, even before the Red Skull answered, you know it wouldn’t be what you wanted to hear.

“I cannot see the future, it is up to you to decide if a negative outcome to Loki Laufeyson’s life is something you are willing to risk.”

You hastily wiped the tears off your cheeks as they rolled down and fell towards the open cliff face. He wouldn’t be alone, you may be gone, but he would always have Thor. You had to trust in his brother to look after him, and for Loki to make his own decisions. You hoped that your letter would help, though you knew your betrayal was not something he would get over quickly.

It was out of your hands, and it was time you stopped stalling.

You looked once more at Loki, your hands trembling as you took in as much of him as you could while you still had time. You wanted to say goodbye, but it didn’t feel right, you weren’t sure you could stomach the thought of never seeing him again, even though you knew that was what fate had in store for you. You settled on something less permanent, “Goodnight, Loki.”

You turned back towards the cliff edge, closing your eyes, and imagined a better time, a time when you and Loki could have made it through this, maybe spent some more time in New Asgard or explored other cities that Earth had to offer. You could have shown him the place you grew up, maybe you could have found some variant of your family there that would have jogged your memory. Wherever you would have gone, you would have wanted to be with him.

You leaned forward, terror building in your chest as your feet slipped off the edge of the cliff. The wind whipped through your hair and flipped you around as you fell. Your heart hammered in your throat but you refused to open your eyes, you didn’t want to see what was coming.

You didn’t feel the impact, you were simply falling, and then you weren’t. Then there was nothing.

* * *

When you opened your eyes you found yourself at a small metal desk in a dark room, illuminated only by a lamp. In front of you was a letter, the syringe you’d used on Voromir laying beside it. You felt tears run down your cheeks as you read over what you’d written.

My Prince,

I can’t count the number of drafts I’ve written of this letter since I realized that this was the only way I could fix my mistake. You always tell me that it wasn’t my fault, but I know that if I’d been more careful I could have stopped Thanos. I looked over too many important details, and I could never seem to remember enough. I wish I could let go of that guilt, but trillions of people died and I owe it to them to bring everyone back. I’ve had more years with you than I deserve but I am grateful to have been given the chance to be your friend. You mean more to me than you know.

I’m sure you’ll be upset and angry with my decision, but please, don’t take it out on yourself or anyone else. I can’t tell you how to feel, but I want you to understand that this is my choice and only I am to blame for this, just like how you react is your choice too. You can be mad at me all you want. I’m dead, I can take it.

At least I’d better be, you only get to read this letter over my dead body… Too soon?

Don’t beat yourself up for not stopping me, I’ve had a whole year since I remembered what the Avengers would have done to un-snap everyone and I’ve spent countless hours thinking of this plan. You’ll only have minutes at best. Though when you get back you won’t have to deal with Thanos again since Nebula didn’t go on the mission, I hope it gives you time to sort through your feelings. Tell Stark he’s welcome that he doesn’t have to die to kill that Thanos.

I’m not too stubborn to admit that I’m afraid. I have no idea what will happen to me, but I have to fix my mistake. I didn’t stop Thanos from snapping, but I will undo it. It’s strange but I feel relieved that I won’t have to worry about it much longer.

I’m sorry if I make some shitty jokes in this letter or when we get to Voromir, but you aren’t the only one who deflects their feelings through humour. But I’m terrified, I don’t find any of this funny. I’m grieving for things that I will never get to see or have. I don’t know if I have the strength to throw myself over that cliff. That’s why you must be the one there with me. I can be sure I will do everything in my power to keep safe, even if it means I won’t be. I can only do that with you. No one else is as important to me as you.

We got off to a rocky start, you were still in a bad place, and I had just been launched into a world where no one knew me, but I knew everyone. I like to think somewhere along the way you begrudgingly started to tolerate me (that was your first mistake). After that, I wormed my way into your friendship and somehow you’ve continued to tolerate me for almost six years. I’m not sure if you know how I feel about you, but I plan to make it very clear here in case I chicken out on Voromir.

It’s so difficult to put my feelings for you into words. I feel like I could never truly capture what my heart tells me every time I see your stupid smirk, but I’m going to try.

Loki, I love you so much I can barely breathe when I’m around you, but like, in a good way. I love the way your eyes light up when you're teasing me, the way the corners of your mouth tilt up when you are holding back a smirk, and how, without trying, you make me feel like I have a home as long as I’m with you. I feel like the word love isn’t strong enough to describe how I feel about you but I don’t know any other word that would fit. You are more caring than you would ever admit, even if you try to project this image of having a massive ego, which on some level you definitely do (no offence) but I also know you have that stubborn self-sabotaging streak you can’t quite shake. You deserve to be happy, and I wish it could be with me, but I have to do this. I think I’m right in guessing you feel similarly for me to how I feel for you, but boy will this letter be super embarrassing if I got it wrong.

Please don’t blame yourself for my choice.

You have people who care about you, lean on them when you need. I am so sorry I can’t be there with you, I don’t want to leave you, and I will always love you. No matter where I am I will always carry a piece of you with me, Soul Stone or no. I don’t know what will happen to me, if I’ll just cease to exist or if my consciousness will go elsewhere, but my soul will always remember you.

You’ll wake up with a soul stone and without me. Maybe build me a statue or a make a play or something cool, but honestly, I think those are more your type of thing. The only thing I want for you when I’m gone is for you to be happy. I don’t expect it to happen right away, maybe you’ll always wonder what could have been like how I’m doing now. But if you take anything from this letter please let it be that I love you more than anything, and your happiness is what I want most of all. I’m sorry that I can’t have what I want be the same as what I need to do.

I don’t know how to end this letter. I don’t think I want to end it, it feels so final. It feels like a goodbye I’m not ready to make, that I’m going to make sure you aren’t conscious for.

You were okay before me, I believe you can be okay without me.

I'm sorry for making you endure another death, but I hope that years down the line you can forgive me, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for doing this to you.

With love,

Your Princess

Trigger Warnings: Talk of dying, completed self-sacrifice.

A/N: This chapter has a special place in my heart and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did ❤️❤️

Thank you for all your lovely comments and notes, they mean so much to me!! Only two more chapters and an epilogue to go 🥲

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#hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending #reader insert #slow burn #fluff #protective loki #hurt loki #loki needs a hug #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #eventual smut #Spotify

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