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fuckyeahgoodomens · 10 months

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David interview with Maggie Bocella for Collider, 10.7.2013

COLLIDER: Obviously, when you started making this show, you had the book to go off of, you had a very specific framework to work off of. But because everything for Season 2 is new, did you get to have any input with Neil Gaiman on where Crowley goes from the end of Season 1?

DAVID: Oh no, that's not my job. No, I mean, we've got Neil Gaiman, so you just get excited about what direction he's going to send you in. It wouldn't occur to me, to be honest, to start giving Neil Gaiman plot suggestions or character suggestions, that would just be limiting his brilliance, I think, if he was trying to sort of contort his ideas around mine. So no, I just sat back and was excited to let a script ping in and find out what was going to happen next. What a treat to get to be one of the first people to read the continuing adventures of Aziraphale and Crowley.

COLLIDER: In that vein, how do you think Crowley has changed between the end of Season 1 and where we see him now? Can we expect anything significantly different from him this season?

DAVID: Well, as you would expect, he's no longer working for his corporate bosses from Hell, which gives him a certain liberty. He's more of a free agent, but it does mean that they've taken back the swishy apartment that comes with the job. So he’s in slightly diminished circumstances. He's living in his Bentley in his car with his potted plant and feeling slightly hard done by it, I think. But quite early on, we see him meeting with Shax, who's his replacement in the job. So he's keeping his ear to the ground, seeing what's going on, and giving Shax a bit of guidance as to how to be Hell’s representative on Earth and also how to fix the boiler in the apartment. Yes, he's certainly as we always knew him, but probably a little bit grumpier.

COLLIDER: You mentioned the Bentley, and the Bentley being cursed to play Queen songs forever and ever and ever is one of my favorite parts of the show. I was curious what you think Crowley's favorite Queen song, is if he's not so sick of them that he never wants to hear them again.

DAVID: That's a very…wow, that's a difficult question. I need a lot of prep for that. What's my favorite Queen song? I don't know. I mean, “Don't Stop Me Now” is probably the best driving song, isn't it?

COLLIDER:Yeah!

DAVID: And he certainly enjoys driving at ridiculous, slightly supernatural speeds. I suspect that's probably the best soundtrack for that, so it's probably that, or “A Kind of Magic,” I suppose, makes a certain sense for a supernatural being with unearthly powers.

COLLIDER: That's a good answer. But you also work very closely with Michael Sheen, who you not only work with on this but also on Staged, you're quite close. What's it like getting to put that friendship dynamic to use? Especially since this and Staged are so completely different.

DAVID: It's very nice to get to work with a friend every day, you can't pretend it's not. I mean, we did have the pleasure of doing Staged during lockdown, which of course probably wouldn't have happened were it not for us getting to know each other so well on Season 1 of Good Omens. It wasn't so long after the first Good Omens came out that we were all locked in our houses for months on end. We managed to come up with this notion of doing Staged and making a show on our laptops, which, really, we did initially just to amuse ourselves, to see if it was possible. Then it ended up becoming more. We just [premiered] Series 3, so between the first season of Good Omens and the second season of Good Omens, we managed to do three seasons of something else together!

COLLIDER: This show has had such a massive fan response. How much of that are you really aware of? Are you seeing how people are reacting to this show?

DAVID: Oh, it's been quite overwhelming. I've been to a few Comic-Cons over the last few years, and when I visited them pre-Good Omens, I saw a lot of people dressed up as me from…another show. But that has slowly changed until the amount of Doctors and the amount of Crowleys I meet are certainly neck and neck these days. But what's lovely about the Crowleys and the Aziraphales is they always come in pairs, so you get to meet people who've got all dressed up often with their best mates.

That's one of the great joys of being involved in this show, that these characters are so beloved. And of course, the great honor of taking on something like that, a character that people are so enthusiastic about, is that the great terror is that you'll break it, that you won't be… I think, especially with a literary character, the act of reading a book is such an internal mental spell that you cast, isn't it? Those characters are almost more vivid than a character that you might see on screen. So embodying characters that have been so loved for so long, not breaking them, not, you know, crushing dreams… The way that we've been accepted by those fandoms, it's been quite humbling, to be honest.

COLLIDER: You're also part of another Neil Gaiman joint, you play Loki in The Sandman audio series. Obviously, that's a different medium, but are there any similarities between working on The Sandman and working on Good Omens?

DAVID: The Gaimanverse is certainly its own creation, but Good Omens is always slightly different, of course, because it wasn't just Neil, it was very much co-created by Terry Pratchett, who also had a very distinctive voice and a distinctive universe. But there's something very specific about the Good Omens universe, which is where these two very distinct, very vivid authorial voices blend together to create something very specific and quite unique. So, I don't know how similar it was being part of The Sandman. I mean, it was a great pleasure to be part of it. It was wonderful to make Loki come from Scotland as well. I think Tom Hiddleston should take some notes. There's nothing better than a Glasgow Norse god. I’m kidding, obviously, he is the definitive Loki, but I did my best to sort of, you know, target his coattails.

COLLIDER: Besides Good Omens and Staged, you are coming back to Doctor Who this year. It's all anybody I know can talk about, but obviously, the spoiler police will come and get me if I attempt to talk to you about too much. So if you could describe what audiences are gonna see in November in, like, three words, what three words would you use?

DAVID: Three words? Three words?! Three new stories. That's not very good, is it? That doesn't give you very much away. Neil Patrick Harris! There you go.

#good omens #gos2 #season 2 #interview #david tennant #david interview #ac #collider #doctor who #david on crowley #boiler #crowley and shax #collider 2023 #s2 interview

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redrose10 · 2 months

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Hi i had this idea of a short oc and idols BTS. Where they meet during the concert prep and OC is super strong and can whistle like a pro. Not the normal whislte though the one with fingers and is very loud

Here you go! I hope this is okay.

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It was coming towards the end of your first week as a member of the styling team for BTS. Between having to lay out the clothes and help dress seven members for multiple performances, interviews, fan meets, photo shoots, and TWO music video shoots you were exhausted. The stress of all of this was starting to get to you. It didn’t help that the boys seemed to like to give you a hard time. A showing of love and acceptance according to one of the more senior stylists, but you saw it as they were testing the waters to see just how much you’d let them get away with.

Lucky for them you were pretty easy going and had more patience than most.

That’s why you didn’t even flinch when Jungkook “accidentally” popped off two buttons on his dress shirt five minutes before an interview causing you to sew so fast the needle pricked your finger countless times.

Or when Hobi stole all of your style plans and turned them into little origami swans leaving you having to guess who was wearing what to where for the whole day.

OR when Taehyung sat there watching and even recording as Yeontan happily chewed away on one of Jin’s shoes he needed for a photoshoot leaving you to have to run to the nearest store to purchase a new pair in panic.

You kept reminding yourself that today was the final day and then you were off for a few. The boys just had this final interview which should be easy enough to get through so you put the finishing touches on their outfits before standing back admiring your work. They could be annoying, but damn they were handsome.

Then you saw it. Their manager walked in carrying trays of drinks and bags of donuts as a quick breakfast since they’re all that was open. You looked at the boys standing there in their crisp all white outfits and your heart stopped.

Jungkook picked up a donut that was particularly heavy on the chocolate frosting and he smirked in your direction as he took as big a bite as he could. Frosting falling to the floor.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Namjoon going for a jelly filled one. It seemed like it was in slow motion, but you watched as a little glob of raspberry jelly fell from the donut landing directly in the middle of Yoongi’s thigh leaving a bright red stain. He jumped up waiving his hands trying to find a towel, but in the process knocked over his iced americano causing the liquid to spill all over the back of Jimin who was sitting on the carpet next to him unaware of what had just happened.

Jimin jumped up thanks to the ice cold drink running down his spine. Thinking that Yoongi dumped the drink on him on purpose he grabbed the nearest donut he could, a strawberry filled with pink frosting and sprinkles, and smeared it all over the front of Yoongi’s shirt.

Before you could even react Yoongi grabbed a drink from the table, matcha of course, and tried throwing it at Jimin. But thanks to Jimins quick reflexes he ducked, the drink completely missing him and instead landing all over Jin’s white pants.

Today was supposed to be easy. Today was supposed to be simple. You’d had enough of these guys shenanigans and were tired of them making your job difficult. You were going to set them straight.

All seven members were bickering back and forth. The other stylists trying to do damage control and save what they could. You on the other hand took a deep breath before placing two fingers in your mouth and whistling as strongly and loudly as you possibly could. Something you’d learned from your mom when you were younger.

Immediately everyone in the room froze and looked at you with wide eyes. “How did that sound come out of her? She’s so tiny?”, Jin whispered.

Jungkook gently placed Yoongi back on the floor, Hobi dropped the cinnamon sugar donut he was trying to stuff into Namjoon’s mouth, Taehyung smacked Jimin’s hand away when he tried to dump the last little drop of coffee onto Jin. Bang PD even sat up a little straighter.

“Alright listen. I’m done playing these games. You are all grown men so start acting like it. No more making things difficult or I swear on everything that I will make you regret it. Because I will spend every day hoping and wishing that each one of you wakes up feeling like there is a pebble in your shoe. Whenever you walk anywhere there will just be a tiny little annoying feeling on the bottom of your foot, but when you take off your shoe? Bam! Nothing is there. But you will still feel it.”

Jungkook started to snort at your odd threat, but Yoongi quickly smacked his shoulder to shut him up.

You continued, “Understood? Good! Now let’s clean up and then remove any of your clothes that are stained and we’ll replace them with what we can. There’s only fifteen minutes until your interview so let’s hurry up.”

As quickly as possibly the boys cleaned up their mess while the make-up artists and stylists tried to salvage what they could.

Thankfully the interview went great. The guys looked presentable. Not what you’d imagined, but not the worst you’d ever seen them look either. The guys all apologized for the way they had been acting and promised it wouldn’t happen any more. They even had dinner delivered from your favorite restaurant as a peace offering.

As you were packing up the last of your belongings and making your way to your car you found a very disgruntled looking Namjoon standing in the hallway. He had two fingers in his mouth and was blowing so hard you thought he might pass out. When he noticed you giving him a concerning look he awkwardly chuckled, “Y/N, please teach me how to whistle like that. That was amazing. I could really use it. I’ve been trying for hours, but I just can’t get it.”

You giggled before motioning for him to follow you offering to give him a lesson.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts x reader #namjoon #jin #yoongi #jimin #jungkook #jhope #taehyung #bangtan #bts fluff #bts fic #bts army #bts crack

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mrsnancywheeler · 3 months

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OKAY OKAY OKQU

i keep having really random ideas pop into my head and it’s actually a need to offload them.

I keep thinking about Finnick taking reader (before her games) for a dinner date in the Capitol as that’s where the best restaurants are. it would be their first time going out together and seen by the Capitol Citizens as a couple.

reader is wearing a beautiful dress and Finnick’s jacket is draped over her shoulders and he’s just holding his sweet girl close as citizens surround them as they’re walking to the restaurant together😭😭

idk it’s just so cute to imagine them going to a nice restaurant and just having the most lovely night together and eating delicious food. i definitely feel like there are a bunch of press taking pictures of the two walking together and it’s all over the newspaper about Finnick’s new ‘girl toy’ and speculating whether she will be the one to tie him down for good (she will be)

yes please offload them, I love all of these sm ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yeah I mentioned in one of the chapters of the lakes that during readers interview ceaser was like "we've seen you before" and she's like o h because she assumed they'd forget. but like when they wanted to a piece on finnick at one of his parties she's always around but her being in the Captiol with him just like jetsets the idea that they're actually together.

finnick is also a teenager so sometimes he just wants to show off to his sweet girl, "I wanna take you out somewhere, angel."

"Finn, you can take me out whenever you want, you know that."

"no, like in the Capitol, a no seafood in sight meal. for your birthday."

"is that even allowed?"

"I'm their darling, they'll make exceptions. plus, it makes good television." he's pecking her on the lips and saying he'll find a way to make it happen. because yes the Captiol already uses him as they see fit, but he's a teenage boy who wants nothing more than to show off his girl and show off to her.

he spends so much time getting someone to make a perfect dress for her, that way Capitol tabloids don't try to tear her apart too harshly and that she'll be amazed when she sees it. and trust she is, also a little peeved because why would he spend that much money on something she'll only ever wear once but he doesn't care because his girl deserves it. he'd prefer to spend all his money on her anyways.

and he's tried all the spots to find the one she'll like the most and preps her for the way cameras are sure to follow them everywhere. but she assures him that she doesn't care as long as she can be with him. as if it's not clear enough he's giving her that jacket as soon as possible to make it even more well known, regardless of the fact his hands are firmly attached to her.

thankfully none of the tabloids are too harsh on her because they're used to her face in the background, she's charismatic, has the 'right' personality for the press. there's a few that try to pin her as a golddigger, but her and finnick don't care about those because they know it's not true. of course they have a field day when they start being seen together less because of the breakup which only hurts finnick more. however the media gets a lovely bow on their story when the two end up together after her games, the star-crossed lovers from district 4.

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #the lakes #finnick odair #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #the river #anon

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security-chief-odo · 7 months

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To Love and Be Loved in Return - Chapter Two

Roy Kent x Reader

Read chapter 1 here

Description: The awkwardness from yesterday still lingers between you and Roy. Jamie, Rebecca and Keeley all try to make you feel better in their own ways.

Word Count: ~1.4k

• • •

Chapter 2 - Pep Talk

Coming into work Friday morning is a monumental task in and of itself. You spent most of the night before overthinking every moment with Roy that day.

You had spiraled through every possible analysis of your conversation, but as of this morning you’ve stopped worrying as much about that interaction and more about how any interaction you have today will go. He was still acting awkward about it at the end of the day, so he probably won’t be much better today.

Either way, you have work to get done before your lunch “meeting” with Rebecca and Keeley at noon. This “meeting” had become somewhat of a weekly routine for the three of you. It didn’t take long after you were hired for you to become fast friends with Rebecca, and Keeley was pretty much fast friends with everyone she’s ever met.

You watch the time tick by as you finish up your reports and interview prep for Roy. You consider just emailing them to him to avoid any awkwardness, but you know that he always works better with hard copies to review and mark up as needed. As much as seeing him today has made you nervous, you couldn’t let your feelings for Roy get in the way of doing your job well.

With this new found resolve and the best poker face you are capable of, you head downstairs and through the mostly empty locker room. You find yourself stopped at the door to the office, skimming over the report in your hands, anxiously looking for any errors or really any excuse to run back upstairs and redo it all. Maybe you could push off seeing him again until Monday.

“He’s not that scary,” Jamie chimes in behind you.

You tilt your head to look at him and raise a brow in question. He continues “Roy, ya know, he’s all grumpy with the scary eyebrows” he tries to mimic Roy’s face “and well just his general vibe, I suppose.” He trails off at the end of the last sentence.

You look at him, dumbfounded. “Was that supposed to reassure me?”

“Oh, uh, no. What I was tryin’ to say was that he’s just grumpy but he’s not really that mean. He likes ya well enough, so just go in there. Stop worryin’ so much.”

If only mean was what worried you about Roy, but of course you couldn’t say that to Jamie. The moment that man figured out how you felt about a certain coach, the entire team would know within minutes.

“Thank you Jamie. I appreciate the pep talk,” and it was true. You did appreciate the pep talk even if it was terribly misguided. Though it may be for the best that your coworkers don't all know how you really feel about your boss, and if Jamie knew, he'd give it away before long.

With a deep breath you open the door to the office with a smile plastered across your face.

Coach Beard was the first to acknowledge you. He offered a friendly smile and polite nod which you returned with a small wave. Walking past him, you stood by Roy’s desk and held the papers out to him. “Overview is on top, followed by the analytical reports, then the raw data and the last page is talking points for any press interviews.”

“Oh, I didn’t need this until Monday. You didn’t have to get it done so fast.”

“I like to stay on top of things, coach.”

“Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite assistant?”

“I’m your only assistant.” Conversation is flowing naturally between you and much of the tension from yesterday seems to have dissipated.

“Makes it easy to rank then, but I really do appreciate you getting this done y/n”

“That’s what I’m here for.” There’s a moment of comfortable silence that you relish in before turning to leave.

“Wait,” you stop in your tracks, “Do you want to go grab lunch?” He stands up and gathers his things. “It’s about that time anyway.”

“Can’t today, I’m sorry. I’ve got lunch plans with Rebecca and Keeley today.”

“Fuck, right, I forgot all about that.” he waves you off “No worries, go have fun, do “girl talk” or whatever. Let me know how it goes.”

“Of course.” You pause before adding, “Maybe we can figure out lunch together on Monday?” He nods in response and your phone buzzes in your hand. “And that would be Rebecca, see you later!”

You rush out the door before he has a moment to respond.

You arrive at the restaurant with Rebecca first. Keeley texted that she’s running a few minutes late.

You had told Rebecca about your feelings for Roy a couple weeks back and you needed to get the past couple days off your chest as he had consumed most of your waking thoughts for the past 24 hours.

“So, Roy asked me to be his plus one for the gala next weekend.”

“Oh?” Rebecca looked hopeful albeit rather confused, “And why are you saying that like it’s a bad thing?”

“Well, when he slipped up and referred to me as his date, he panicked at the idea and made it beyond clear he isn’t into me. Of course I knew he didn’t like me, I mean he’s Roy fucking Kent, he dates gorgeous models, not regular office workers, but it still hurt that i didn’t get the chance to ask him out before getting brutally rejected.”

“That’s stupid.”

“What?”

“Roy would be fucking lucky to have you. Just because he’s too stupid to see it, doesn’t make you worth less just because you aren't some model.”

“It just sucks. I can’t stand being alone with him. I think I’m falling in love and he will never see me as more than just an assistant.”

“Who are we talking about?” Keeley walks up in time to hear your last remark. You were waiting to tell her until you were finally ready to deal with her teasing. She had moved on and you knew she would have no problem with you liking Roy, but she would be almost relentlessly supportive, which might just be worse.

At the same time you say “No one.” and Rebecca says “Roy”

“Ooh, falling for the boss?” Keeley adds as she sits next to you.

The waiter comes by and takes your food order. After he leaves your table Rebecca fills Keeley in on the situation. When she finishes you add, “So I’m falling for a guy who finds the idea of even a single date with me so repulsive he panicked at the suggestion.”

“I don’t think that’s it, babes. Roy is always a little panicked, he just usually gets mad about it instead. If he’s willing to show that he’s worried, then he’s dropping that facade a bit. I say you should ask him out.”

“And get turned down again?”

“I don’t know about that y/n. He seemed pretty nervous when he texted me about taking you out dress shopping.”

At that moment, the waiter brings your food, putting an end to that conversation before you got the chance to ask Keeley what she meant by that.

She asks the waiter to bring you a round of drinks. After the waiter leaves you lightly elbow Keeley. “I’ve got to go back to work after this. I can’t be drinking.”

Rebecca scoffs “Well, I’m your boss and I say you need a drink. I’m giving you the rest of the day off.”

Keeley adds, “It’s not like you’d get much done anyways. You’ll be too busy daydreaming about a certain coach.

“Fuck off” you laugh. You don’t really mean it and you all know it. You pull out your phone to text Roy.

Y/N: Hey, I won’t be back after lunch. Everything is caught up. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll see you on Monday!

You see the bubbles appear and disappear for a couple of minutes as you try to subtly keep an eye on your phone. Finally your torture ends as your phone vibrates in your hand.

ROY: Ok.

Those three characters should not be enough to stress you out. There’s hardly anything there to overanalyze, but that won't stop you. You take a long swig of your drink hoping that maybe the burning feeling as it slides down your throat will provide enough of a distraction.

• • •

Read Chapter 3

Series Taglist: @infinetlyforgotten @taytaylala12 @siriuslyreads

Let me know what you thought of this chapter and if you want to be added to the taglist for this series. 🖤

#reader insert #roy kent x reader #roy kent/reader #roy kent #ted lasso fic #ted lasso fanfic #idiots in love #x reader #workplace romance #jamie tartt #keeley jones #rebecca welton #tw drinking #to love and be loved in return

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shes-homeward-bound · 1 year

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Crash and Burn | Chapter 11

Summary: You’re the first female driver to compete in the Formula 1 World Championship in decades and it's your second year of navigating through a male-dominated sport. Your talent and drive to prove yourself made you vicious on the grid. Your seemingly unshakeable confidence was never questioned- until a certain Ferrari driver made you crash and burn.

Pairing: Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

Chapters: 11/11

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 4.6k

Posted on: 05/25/2023

masterlist

A/N: The final chapter is finally here. I am so sorry for the wait. I wanted to make sure that it was all wrapped up and cute and fluffy just for you guys. Thank you so so much for taking the time to read whatever I write. I appreciate every single one of your comments. It was so fun writing for Carlos and a driver reader.

Finally, after many years in Formula One, Carlos Sainz had gotten his first pole position here in Silverstone. He cheers and scrambles out of the car and immediately gets congratulated by Charles and Max. He couldn’t believe it. After years of hard work, he has finally gotten the best chance to win a Grand Prix. He was thrumming with excitement and disbelief, he still couldn’t believe it even when they started interviewing him. Once finished, he walks back to the pitlane and is met with a flurry of kisses.

“P1! P1! P1!” you chanted. “Babe, you did it!”

You give him a crushing hug and he returns the favor. It’s been almost 2 months since the accident and he was finally comfortable enough to hold you as tight as he wanted.

“I didn’t expect it! I thought I was doing bad out there.”

You give him a peck on the cheek. “This is your weekend, Carlos. You can do this!”

You and Carlos part ways only to have him meet you in Aston Martin hospitality so you could drive together back to your place. You offered to let him stay in your apartment for the British Grand Prix so Carlos let his parents have his hotel room.

After a shower, you and Carlos lounged in your living room trying to decompress as much as possible. Dinner was cooking in the oven and you leaned on Carlos as you both sipped on your electrolyte drinks. The night before the race was essential and your performance coaches were adamant that you send pictures of everything you ate and drank. Rupert and Anna were so used to staying by your side and monitoring everything, but to give you two privacy, they resorted to constant messaging making sure you were prepping for the race. The oven dings and you pull out the baked salmon, roasted vegetables, and baked sweet potato. You send the text to the group chat and place your phone face down on the kitchen counter.

Despite seeing Carlos almost every week, it didn’t mean you got to spend much time alone. It was one of the busiest parts of the season and you were always in meetings, needed for simulators, and doing things for media and promotions. The only times you would interact was a quick kiss if you happened to pass by, sometimes you couldn’t even see each other at the end of the day because you were too tired. You and Carlos were always surrounded by other people, so times like this were precious because you were finally alone.

Carlos joins you on the kitchen island and helps you set up the plates and utensils. The last time you were doing something domestic was back in your apartment in Monaco. While you were eating dinner, you made Carlos do some manifesting with you. He rolled his eyes but did it anyway, he would do anything to make you happy. You qualified for P7 so Carlos included you and manifested that you would find your way to third place and share the podium with him. While you would love to, you had Charles, the Red Bulls, and Mercedes to worry about. You know you would have more podiums to come but it was Carlos who needed this. He wasn’t having the best season, and you wanted this to boost his confidence.

You both wake up from a restful sleep and immediately start your race day routines. You and Carlos drive over to the hotel where Pierre and Yuki were staying to have breakfast with them. You were still a little superstitious about it so you never missed race day breakfast with Pierre. So far, everything was going alright, you and the boys safely made it to the circuit and split up to go to find your teams.

It’s a few hours before the race and you are sitting in Aston Martin hospitality sipping on your electrolyte drink while you contemplate your life. Two months ago, everything was seemingly falling apart. Your relationship with Carlos was on the line and you were in one of the most ridiculous scandals in all of motorsport. You were in a huge car crash but were able to walk away and recover from your injuries. It’s so strange to look back and see how different your life was. Now, you and Carlos are happier than ever and you have just signed a contract to continue your next two years in Formula One with Aston Martin. Life finally seemed normal again and that scared you.

If things are good, then something bad is bound to happen. You know that’s a horrible mindset to have but after the accident, you’ve been having trouble staying positive. You find yourself paranoid that you would lose every good thing in your life. Carlos knows how you feel and he does his best to be there for you but he was busy too, so you did your best to keep these thoughts to yourself. Anna set you up with a therapist and you’ve listened to the advice she’s giving you. You’ve been getting better at staying positive, this is why you made sure to take some time every day to think about the good things in life. Like in this moment where you just sit and people watch. Aston Martin’s hospitality doors were constantly opening and each person was just as interesting. There were the new interns who would shyly look at you, one of Seb’s engineers who was always nervous, and the guys from your pit crew who were all pumped up and waved at you.

The rest of the day was a blur as your anxiety increasingly spiked. You wanted this win for Carlos and it was beginning to affect you to the point Anna made you go for a quick run to shake off some of your nerves. It helped for a little bit but by the time you were in your car and doing the formation lap, you were buzzing with anticipation.

You breathe deeply and do your best to get into the racing mindset. Once all the lights turn off, you send it. You had a fantastic start when you heard the screech of metal from behind you. You whip your head to see one of the Alfa Romeo’s careening past your car. You start swearing when you notice they are upside down. You had already driven too far but you looked in your side mirror to see they crashed into the fence.

“Holy shit! Who was that?” you yell into the radio.

“Red Flag. Red Flag. Proceed to the pitlane.”

You start breathing heavily. “Who was that? Valtteri? Guanyu?”

“It was Guanyu. We don’t have information yet, make your way to the pitlane.”

You looked ahead and everyone’s lights were flashing as you all slowly drove to the pitlane. Carlos’s car was ahead and you let out a sigh of relief, at least he was safe. Once everyone was parked and you received the ‘okay’ to leave the car, you scrambled out and ran to the pit wall.

“What happened?” your eyes grew big as flashes of your accident appeared. “Are they okay?”

“Zhou, Russel, and Albon are out,” says your strategist.

He points to the screen that was showing live helicopter and drone footage. It looked bad, Gunayu’s car was wedged between the fence and a barrier. You squint and see that George was on the scene, and see ambulances for Alex and Guanyu. Breathing hard, you find yourself having to use one of the engineers to help with your balance. You squint at the screen just hoping that you would be able to catch a glimpse of him moving in his car. You didn’t even notice you were hyperventilating until Carlos appeared in front of you and told you to breathe slowly. He brings you close and you bury your head against his chest.

“I can’t look anymore, let me know when he gets out.”

Carlos holds you and tells you little updates while you close your eyes and work on breathing slowly. After a minute, he tells you to look up, and that's when you see Guanyu safely get out of the car. You sag onto Carlos and tears start streaming down your face, as quickly as possible, he leads you deep into the garage where you can let all your emotions out and away from the cameras. Someone hands you a tissue and you do your best to contain yourself. Now that you knew the boys were okay, you needed to get back into racing mode. That’s when you suddenly remember Carlos and his predicament.

“Carlos! You’re P2 right now!'' You look at the tv screens and you can see that the marshalls and other staff members were cleaning up the area and restoring the barrier. Guanyu's car was still stuck and the people on the cranes still had to figure out how to get it out. “They’re going to redo the line-up. This is your chance to get your position back!”

Carlos just looks at you and smiles. You had just relived a trauma and here you were trying to get yourself together for his benefit, he did have the greatest girlfriend. He makes you sit on the floor and he sits on the ground so that your legs are touching.

“Don’t worry about me, I just want to make sure you’re ready to race. I’ll make sure Max doesn’t get ahead of me. I know I can win this, I can feel it,” says Carlos.

You lean your head on his shoulder and take in a shaky breath. “I’ll be okay to drive, it was just so strange to see an accident so similar to mine. I’ll make sure to visit their garage after to see if we can see Guanyu.”

You and Carlos see Rupert peeking into the Aston Martin garage and the both of you laugh. It was time to go back to work. Pressing a kiss on your forehead, he wishes you luck. You take him by the shoulders and look at him sternly.

“Max is going to attack and be aggressive right away. He’s already pissed it’s a restart but that’s okay because you're faster and smarter. You can do this!” you say giving him a quick kiss and a shove out of the garage.

The engineers pull you aside and show your data from the start and they tell you what you have to do to achieve the same results. The team principal pulls you aside to see if you were mentally okay to race and you reassure him that you were okay. He seemed hesitant to believe you but when he sees the intensity in your eyes, he knows you won't disappoint him. Seb finds you sitting with Anna and your pit crew. He squats down and gives you a reassuring smile.

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m a little embarrassed. I got emotional but I'm okay. I’m just glad to hear the boys are safe.”

He nods. “I talked to George and he told me Guanyu is fine and just a little shaken up. The medics were able to get him safely out of the card news. Us drivers are insane, something huge happens like this and all we do is take a moment, shake it off, and go back on the track.”

You look at him gratefully and nod.

“We’re all crazy, but that’s what makes us the best in the world,” he says, squeezing your shoulder.

The team principal says that the race starts in ten minutes so you go to the bathroom and go over your different strategies with the engineers one last time. You look for Carlos, and when you see that he was already in the car with his helmet on, you laugh. The other drivers were still in their garages, he was the only one out there. Making your way over to his Ferrari, you bend down and get at eye level with him. You stick your pinky finger out and he hooks his with yours.

“Don’t forget what I told you, faster and smarter. You got this.”

You see him wink at you through his visor. Using the halo to stabilize yourself, you lean down and kiss the top of his helmet. The pit crew that surrounded him smiled at the gesture, they wished you luck as you headed to your car. The other drivers start trickling onto the pitlane and you’re met with Anna who gives you a pep talk. With your helmet and seat belts on, you closed your eyes and imagined yourself going through the corners of Silverstone.

Because of the accident, some of the guys may be a little hesitant at the start so you plan on using that to your advantage. You have had a strange relationship with driving after the accident. Yes, 30 minutes ago you may have been crying over the crash but that was because it was so similar to the one you had. You find yourself much more aggressive than you were before the accident. You weren’t too cocky about it where you put yourself in more danger but you drove with absolutely no hesitation. The fans noticed and loved it, your family was expectedly weary but they trusted you and your judgment. Since the crash, you have been top 10 in every race and you plan on keeping it like that.

A formation lap is done and when all the lights go green, you floor it. Turns 1-3 were smooth and once you’re on Wellington Straight, you finally let yourself breathe again. Your strategist tells you you moved up two places making you P5. This excites you, maybe you can make it to the podium with Carlos but you don’t get too excited. You had a whole race ahead of you and anything can happen. You have some interesting battles with Fernando, Lando, and Charles battling for 4th place. You almost had a close call with Fernando and you had to bite your tongue so you wouldn’t lash out at him through the radio. You resort to grumbling incoherent swears at your engineer and he just comically responds with “I know” knowing it was completely Fernando’s fault you almost crashed into him.

You let out a whoop into the radio when you cross the finish line. You finished P5 and was happy with your performance and was even more excited knowing that Carlos got his first-ever win. Parked in the pitlane and clambering out of the car, you clap Charles on the back but before he could even acknowledge you, you were sprinting away from him. Running as fast as you can, you make a beeline for Carlos and jump into his outstretched arms. He holds you tight and after a few moments he rips his helmet off and you do the same. You beam at each other as you clasp your hands around his shoulders, he was glowing and his eyes sparkled.

“Congratulations Carlos Sainz, you’re a Grand Prix Winner,” you say as he holds you tightly. “I am so proud of you and I love you so much.”

He smiles and brings his hands to your face, he was speechless as his heart beat fast at all the celebrations around him. Carlos kisses you deeply and the engineers and other teams around him start cheering loudly. You let go of him and he gives a little cheeky wink. While he hugs his parents and sisters, you get weighed and make your way back to the barricade. Carlos leaves to go to the cool-down room and with the help of his cousin and manager, you climb over the barrier to join his team and family. Carlos Senior and his sisters congratulate you for your p5 finish and Reyes gives you a bone-crushing hug, not caring at all that you are drenched in sweat.

The announcer calls Carlos’s name and he steps outs waving at the fans who cheer him on. Once situated on the podium, Carlos looks down from the podium balcony, he can’t help but choke up. Just below him were the most important people in his life. The sea of red, his family, and you look up at him with smiles on your faces. He watches as you clutch his mother and sister’s hands and bounce in anticipation during the national anthem. Here he was about to receive a P1 trophy and he has never been happier or more grateful. Carlos knew his life was good, he wanted to be in motorsports and now here he was living the dream. He never thought he needed companionship until he met you, a person who would understand his goals in life and know how much dedication is needed for Formula One.

When Carlos clutches his trophy, he meets your gaze and smiles softly. He had a second chance to deserve your love and he wasn’t going to mess it up this time. He knows what you both share is a once in a lifetime and he will never do anything to jeopardize your relationship. He caught a glimpse of what it would feel like if you were no longer in his life and he never wanted to feel like that again.

—

August 2022 - Formula One Summer Break

The cool blue water looks more and more enticing as the hot sun beats down on your body. You prop yourself onto your elbows and see Carlos on the other side of the boat talking to Lando and Alex. You look around the yacht and see drivers and their friends or significant others lounging on the deck. You were floating somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea with a bunch of exhausted Formula One drivers with sore bodies. Toto Wolff offered his yacht to George for a couple of days to kick-start the summer break. George invited everyone but the younger drivers with no spouses and children were the only ones who took up the offer. The day after the race was usually painful and you and your friends could not wait to get back to Monaco.

You look at Charles sitting on the chaise lounge next to you, staring off into the horizon. The last few months have been rough on the Ferrari drivers but it was Charles who was suffering. He was leading the championship but bad luck just kept hitting him every weekend.

You tap him on the shoulder and he looks at you with his eyebrow raised.

“Do you ever have moments where you just can’t believe that this is your life? I mean– I’m on a yacht with my closest friends and coworkers. It just happens they’re all Formula One drivers which means that I am one of you,” you say blissfully looking out into the ocean and the faint outline of France and Monaco. “I can hardly believe it.”

Charles looks at you and smiles. Ever since the accident happened, you were always so verbal with your gratitude. You would be doing the most mundane things such as doing the track walk or toasting bread and you would stop, smile and strike up a conversation with the closest person. There was a time when Carlos was holding your hand in the paddock and you stopped walking just so you could lift the clasped hands, and marvel at it for a few seconds before telling Carlos how much you loved him. Those who witnessed it couldn’t stop smiling, they loved your love.

“We are so lucky,” agreed Charles. “Sometimes I forget, but times like this remind me how lucky I am to be alive and feel the sun or laugh with my friends.”

You look at him as he wistfully gazes toward the direction of Monaco. He thinks of those he had lost, remembering to live each day like it was his last. Charles is ashamed to admit it but sometimes he’d forget so he was glad to have someone like you in his life to remind him what was important.

“That accident you had in Miami–” he stops before his voice cracks. He lets out a puff of air and breathes deeply. “I can’t imagine how painful that must’ve been.”

“You know, I don’t think I’ve thanked you enough for all the help and support you’ve given me and Carlos this year. Especially after the accident. You were always there to help us and I want you to know how much I appreciate it.”

Charles waves his hand nonchalantly, “I know you would've done the same if roles were reversed.”

Sometimes you would go back to the footage of the accident, you felt a phantom pain in your chest every time you saw the car careen towards the barrier. What hurt the most was seeing how people were reacting to it, you remember seeing Carlos and Lando watching the screens intently but not Charles. You could see the scene so clearly, him facing away from the monitors and breathing hard, his skin pale at the thought of your demise. When you were at the hospital he doted over you, stayed by your side whenever Carlos or Anna had to leave. You remember the way he and his girlfriend would visit you whenever they could when you all got back to Monaco. It made you smile to think of the good friends you had in your life. Charles was right, you would do the same exact thing if roles were reversed.

Changing the subject to each of your performances this year, Charles starts talking about his frustrations with himself and the car. The two of you get distracted when you see Daniel push Yuki off the boat which leads to Pierre throwing Daniel into the water. Everyone starts cheering and laughing, their smiles turning mischievous as they eye the other people around them. You and Charles look at each other and grin as you get up and start running to the other side of the boat.

Charles charges toward Pierre and with a yelp, they both crash into the water. You approach Carlos and he turns around with his hands already out to defend himself.

“Amor, no. Don’t do it,” his voice slightly panicked. He eyes the cold blue water and looks at you sporting a cheeky smile.

“What?” you say innocently. “I can’t give my boyfriend a hug?”

You lunge for him but he quickly moves out of the way. The two of you dance around each other playing a cat-and-mouse game. Ultimately, you manage to shove him off the deck but not before he catches your hand and pulls you in. The shrieks turn to laughter as you and the others splash around in the ocean. The contrast between the scorching sun and the cold water became a comfortable medium so you and Carlos decide to stay in and float for a while. The others went back into the yacht but since the sea was relatively calm, you thought you couldn't waste this opportunity to relax in the water.

Carlos lets out a sigh of contentment.

To you, the cold water was especially relaxing since every single muscle in your body was still screaming. A couple of days ago, you had gotten a podium for P3 in Hungary and that race had depleted all your energy. You were racing hard the last 10 laps of the race. George was right behind and the two of you got into some very intense battles but in the end, it was you who was spraying champagne onto Lewis and Max.

“I told you the water would feel nice,” you say, poking him on his side.

You’re both staring at the clouds and blue sky but you don’t have to look to know that he was grinning ear-to-ear. He reaches for your hand and tangles his fingers with yours, ensuring you don’t drift away from him. You feel like you’re floating toward the sky, the only thing tethering you to Earth is Carlos’s dependable and firm grip. Sometimes you think about what might have happened if you chose not to forgive Carlos. You shiver just thinking about it. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten into an accident or it could’ve been worse and resulted in permanent injuries or death. All you know is that Carlos is the love of your life and you would do it all over again even if it meant it would end in heartache. The thing is, you don’t think you ever have to worry about that. The universe has given you the perfect partner and despite any upcoming hardships, you know that you belong to each other and nothing will ever change that.

The two of you enjoyed each other's company in silence until the water became too cold and you needed to get back on the yacht. Carlos helps you up onto the deck and head straight to the outdoor dining area. Everyone is already helping themselves to the food so you sit down and wait because Carlos insisted that he would make your plate for you. Lando teased you relentlessly but you just shrugged. Your boyfriend was excessive when it comes to taking care of you, he knows you could always make your coffee or grab a jacket if you’re cold but whenever you are with him, you barely lift a finger. Of course, you protest whenever he does this but he loves to spoil you so you let him.

Later that day after the sunset and the boat had docked in Monte Carlo, you, the other driver, and their girlfriends were pre-gaming in the lounge area. Everyone was dressed to the nines because you were going to the club and celebrating Max’s win and your third podium. Lily and Carmen compliment the emerald green cocktail dress and you grin when you tell them that Carlos had gifted it to you. This then leads to all the girlfriends scolding their partners for never gifting them a dress to their taste. The boys start hounding you about what kind of gifts you’ve given to Carlos and they are silenced when he flashes his watch you had gotten for him for his win in Silverstone.

You sidle up to Carlos while his fingers glide over the silk and rest on your hip. Looking up, Carlos smirks down at you as your friends loudly squabble about who has the best sense of style. Everyone was throwing tipsy insults at each other, but it was all part of the banter. Carlos kisses the side of your head making you smile as laughter bubbles out. You wrap your arms around him and inhale the citrus and sandalwood. Feeling his gaze, you look up to see his dark brown eyes looking at you in pure adoration. Placing a hand on the side of his face, you pull him towards you and press a kiss on his lips.

Here you were in a beautiful dress with the man of your dreams in your arms. You were performing well in the highest level of motorsport breaking records and boundaries for other women out there. A year ago, you were so focused on your work that every single thought was about becoming a world champion or getting as far up the grid as you can. You had to work harder than the boys just to prove that you belonged in this sport just as much as they did. Now that you’ve proven yourself, it makes that fire within you burn brighter. You want to be the best, you want to break records and show the world that you have what it takes to dominate the sport. It was strange to be competing with your boyfriend but it makes you better, some would even say ruthless. This is why you and Carlos work so well together, you teach him to enjoy and savor life while he helps you keep that laser focus on your goals.

You were now leaning against Carlos’s chest with his strong arms holding you close to him. His body gives you warmth as a cool sea breeze brushes past you. As the two of you admired the twinkling lights of Monte-Carlo at night, you can’t think of a better person to spend the rest of your life with.

---

Thank you for all the love. Feel free to send fic requests, I'm itching to write about the other drivers!

Tagged: @oyesmendes, @forzaferraris, @harley-sunday, @thatoneidiot16, @haterpenny, @mysticalnightenthusiast, @laura-naruto-fan1998, @helluvahazelnut, @starjane312, @thatchickwiththecamera, @sticksdoesart, @xscorpioxmoon, @sanne-p, @idkiwantchocolatee , @ruledchaos, @callmequeenbeee, @nochillnel, @dr3lover, @urbankaite2, @justharrysworld, @ohthemisssery, @zoobabystation, @fangirlingcontent-blog, @dan3avacado, @compulsiveshit, @iamasimpingh0e, @inurdreamms, @kodzuskook, @imsoconfused2903, @urbankaite2, @nsprinz, @loveofmylife12 , @capela-miranda, @organasith, @c0k3z3r0na, @thelightnessofthebeing @verstfosi, @glitterquadricorn, @bloomingpresent, @troybolton-14, @vio111a, @marvelousmendess, @bbbbruins, @itssherlockedontheinside, @secretlysoft444,

#carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz jr x reader #f1 fanfiction #f1 fan fic #f1 x you #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz imagine

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p-redux · 6 months

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I say he is in Nepal, either at base camp, or less likely, scaling Everest. Your opinion on this theory?

Hi, Anon, as I said in a previous post, I have a slight obsession with all things Mount Everest, have read the books, watched the movies, the TV series, and every year when it's the push for the summit in May, I follow climbers on Instagram, and watch their treks up to the highest mountain on Earth. Soooo, I do have some knowledge on this subject. Here's my take...

I know Sam has said in interviews that one of his bucket list items is climbing Mount Everest. And he was supposed to star in that Everest movie. The thing is, climbing to the SUMMIT of Mount Everest is only done in May, usually mid May due to weather constraints. And the prep dictates you have to start 2 months before to acclimate to the high altitude. I'll talk more about that down below. IF you are able to spend the two months in either Nepal for climbing from the South side of Everest, or Tibet (controlled by China) for climbing from the North side of Everest, you will be climbing to almost 29,032 feet, 8,849 meters. This is literally the altitude that jet planes fly once they reach cruising altitude. Sam has this pesky thing called a contract to finish out the remaining seasons of Outlander. I highly doubt his Outlander contract, and the insurance company associated with it, would allow him to take such a risk. Every year, people DIE climbing up or on the way back down from the summit. And some people don't die, but they get severe frostbite and lose fingers, toes, tips of noses. It's not for the faint of heart, and it's not for handsome actors who need to keep their beautiful appendages intact for filming Outlander. Unless the writers can work on a storyline involving Jamie Fraser missing a few, um, things.

Having said that, it IS possible Sam could trek to Mount Everest BASE CAMP. This is the area at the base of the mountain that all climbers go to to prepare to climb higher up, and eventually to the summit. BUT, some people who aren't making summit bids, simply make Base Camp their one and only destination. And that may be a compromise Sam makes with Outlander producers. Base Camp is still REALLY, REALLY high. It's at 17,598 feet, 5,364 meters. Sam isn't putting himself in too much risk at Base Camp...unless there's an avalanche. Sadly, there have been avalanches there and many people have died, as a result, the last one being in 2015.

Everest Base Camp in Nepal is trekked either for the Summit bid season February to May, with all summit bids happening in May. OR, it is trekked JUST for the Base Camp in late September to November. We are now in November, so it IS possible. 👇

BUT, you don't simply hop on a plane and get plopped down at Base Camp's 17,000 feet altitude. You could quite literally die from High Altitude Cerebral Edema and or High Altitude Pulmonary Edema due to the low oxygen levels. Soooo, IF Sam wanted to trek to Mount Everest Base Camp in Nepal, he would have to start acclimating at least two weeks before. All travelers going from Nepal's capital, Kathmandu at an elevation of 4,344 feet stay there for a few days, and then they do a 14 day trek up the mountains, to allow their bodies to acclimate to the altitude and the lower oxygen levels. 👇

Sam would have to allow himself at LEAST 3 WEEKS to make the Everest Base Camp trek. 2 weeks to climb there and acclimate, and then you want to spend at least a week there camping and just being there. Then you have to allow time for the return climb back down. This isn't a weekend excursion.

As for whether Sam is actually trying to climb to Mount Everest SUMMIT. That would be a definite NO. Not only from an Outlander insurance and contract issue, but also because it's not summit climbing season. 👇

And for people who want to climb to the Summit, they have to make a 2 MONTH commitment. The summit climb entails the two weeks to climb to Base Camp. And then at least 6 weeks, climbing up and down from each of the higher camps. I think there are at least 4 camps that climbers stay at, higher and higher on the mountain, until they reach the Summit. 👇

So, if a climber wants to go for a Summit bid, which is always in mid-May, they would have to start in mid-March and literally be on Mount Everest at the various camps the whole two months. It's a huge commitment. Most companies charge around $40,000 for the whole expedition. The reputable ones assign each climber a Sherpa to guide you. The Sherpas are natives to the area and they are expert climbers who are born in the area, therefore their bodies are completely acclimated to the high altitude. The expedition companies hire them to help climbers up the mountain. They set all the safety ropes, set up the camps, make the meals, and deal with the inevitable emergencies along the way. No one should climb without a Sherpa. Also, most companies will only take on a climber for a Summit bid if they can show previous experience in climbing at high altitude and have summitted a few of the highest peaks on Earth. That's not Sam. So, if anything, Sam would probably only be allowed to climb to Base Camp.

As you can see, I'm really, really into all things Everest and could keep writing all day hahaha. But, I'll stop here. I hope that was helpful info, Anon.

#samheughan #sam heughan #mount everest #everest #nepal #kathmandu #tibet #north side #south side #north face #south face #sherpas #base camp #everest base camp #summit #everest summit #outlander

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writernopal · 6 months

Text

So I did it...kind of! 😅

Well, my friends, it is the last day of Nano, and I survived! Now let's see how I did by the stats...

That's 25,032/50,000 or 50.06% if screenshots aren't your jive. Which means no Nano win 😢

HOWEVER

I REFUSE TO COME OUT OF THIS CALLING MYSELF A LOSER

I am so fucking proud of myself. Not only do I have 25K more words than I did at the start of the month for AASOAF 3, but I also wrote 8,789 words for M.O.W, bringing me to a cool 33,821 words for November.

That is like actually insane output for me, especially because I have never worked on more than one WIP at a time. Frankly, I didn't think it was possible yet here I am doing it! And I learned and refined so much about my writing, editing, and ideation process!! I used writing sprints for the first time. I implemented new productivity practices, like making little phone prisons (pic below the cut bc they turned out so cute haha). I sharpened up my style and spruced up the bits that make it special. I read a passage from AASOAF 1 the other day bc I was feeling nostalgic and compared it to AASOAF 3 HOLY MAMA the difference is INSANE.

And all of this while still dealing with life 😭 Family commitments, stressful work deadlines, trying to prevent burnout (which hit me anyway rip), unexpected job hunting (resume and interview prep can fuck right off, but wish me luck it's still in flux), and trying to find time for myself (rip my BG3 solo campaign. i miss my computer boyfriends lol). It also occurred to me that I should stop drinking coffee (still going strong btw!) bc it was meshing VERY poorly with my SAD so I've been having more cranky days than non-cranky ones 😅.

Oh, and *shuffles through notes* did I also mention that I've been working on the AASOAF 3 companion material which is all uncharted territory that I am figuring out by the seat of my pants lol? Yeah, that too.

Would I have liked to hit 50K? hell yeah

Did I win nano? no

But did I WIN nano? FUCK YEAH

ps: everyone is a nano winner in my heart. have a medal and a hot chocolate (or any warm beverage of your choice) 🥇☕

^ phone prison

#nanowrimo #aasoaf updates #m.o.w updates #personal

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attorney-anon · 5 months

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Hey, I’m a law student and I’m also autistic and ADHD and I was wondering if you have any tips for working in law as a neurodivergent person? I love my course and I can’t wait to work but the 85% unemployment statistic really scares me.

This is a long answer, so I'm going to cut it for the sake of mobile users. I do link some products below; I'm not getting paid, and I'm only linking them because they honestly work for me. Also, as a caveat, a lot of this advice assumes that you're American and/or working in-person at a private law firm; unfortunately, that's my only experience other than a month doing part-time intake for my regional legal aid service.

The biggest hurdle you will meet is the bar exam*: you need a study buddy who does not have ADHD and can help keep you on track. Don't study separately then meet up; do things like watching lecture videos together and keeping pace with one another in person. I'm not ADHD myself, but my best friend and forever study partner is, and she struggled to self-start.

Buy a bar prep course. This is not the time to be a scrooge; don't buy Kaplan just because it's cheaper (it also sucks). Barbri and Themis are both good - of these, use whichever you can get for cheapest or, if the costs are comparable, use Barbri if structure gives you comfort and use Themis if you need some control over the order in which you do things. Also use Themis if humor engages you; the Property and Contracts lecturers are hilarious. Stick to your bar prep program, but be gentle with yourself if you fall behind pace - realistically, you need to get through all the topics at least once, but you don't have to do every practice MPT, every practice essay, and every practice MBE quiz. Use the same study techniques that got you through law school. IMO, useful supplemental tools include the Critical Pass flashcards (get them used if possible, or get a referral code from somebody) and the Finz Multistate Method guide. Do your best to treat the bar exam as a game - because it is one.

There's a strategy for every section, and you should practice these strategies. For the MBE, use the Finz method - it works. For the MEE, or any other essay exam, use IRAC - and make up the R if you need to. The UBE, and most state bar exams, are graded such that you do get more points for knowing the rule, but you can still get points if you make up a reasonable-sounding rule and then apply it correctly. For the MPT, just throw in as many case and rule cites as possible. Try to cite every document you're given.

Join a bar prep FB group if you use FB; I was in Themis Memes for Should-Be-Studying Teens, but I know there's a Barbri group too. I found that being able to laugh at my bar prep course made it less miserable to do it. Don't be afraid to turn the videos on 2x or 0.5x speed - or faster or slower as needed. Some of the Themis lecturers talk to slowly that we went up to 3x; one of them talks so fast I had to slow him down.

Practice for the test in as many different environments as you can. I took the 2020 Pandemic Bar, so my bar was different than standard (I took it in a hotel room with my back to the door and proctors patrolling the hallways, it was mildly traumatizing fun), but I highly recommend getting used to noise while you're taking the test. Your ADHD/Autism hyperfocus will help here - make the bar exam your hyperfixation to the extent possible.

Once you pass the bar exam, your next hurdle will be the job search. You are going to have to mask for interviews, there's just no getting around it, but how much you mask will depend on your area of law. Big Law firms and intense, litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., business lit or criminal law) will expect you to be gregarious, friendly, and charming from the get-go; less litigation-focused practice areas (e.g., probate or family law) will often have more tolerance for quieter, less aggressive types.

Do not panic if you wind up at a less-than-favorable firm on your first or even your second job; a lateral shift between firms won't kill your resume as long as you can give a tactful reason you left (e.g., "I found that I prefer to focus on X instead of Y," or "I found that I had more opportunities to explore X at Y firm, and I am interested in focusing on X"). It is not normal to cry every day after work. It is not normal to routinely have panic attacks in the bathroom.

Once you have a job, billing is going to be difficult unless you gamify it. I use the Finch self-care app, so I have a task at the end of every week to make sure I have billed my time. My friend rewards herself for every day she bills by buying herself a new pen. Some people thrive off of timers (MyCase and Clio are popular case management software programs; both have timers built-in), but if nothing else, simply note when you start tasks and when you finish them by sending e-mails to yourself (or others, if relevant) at the end of every task. If your case management software can integrate with your e-mail (MyCase can integrate with Outlook, for instance), then use that to tag outgoing e-mails so you can be sure each one gets billed.

Outside of Big Law or intense practice areas, very few people bill 8 hours per day - a lot of the work you do will be non-billable, but also you will suffer from exhaustion or burnout if you try to bill 8 hours per day (my minimum is 20 hours per week, which is just 4 hours a day). You also will usually have some discretion in billing - use that to make yourself feel better if inattention issues make something take longer than you feel is fair. As for billing enough, if you find that you are most productive outside of work hours, find a firm that will let you access client files offsite - work at home if they'll let you.

I do a lot of my best billing either in the mornings right when I get to work or at 10:00 at night. That's okay so long as you take breaks during the workday (I watch a lot of TikTok during my breaks, but I also fiddle with various online games and such); you'll need mental rest to reset between cases. If you struggle with task-switching, use a break to help reset your focus. I strongly recommend setting an alarm for yourself during breaks so that time blindness doesn't derail you. Make your alarm kind of annoying; something you won't just mindlessly ignore.

Let yourself hyperfocus on things; all of that time you spend researching and drafting and correcting and perfecting that motion or brief is billable, and it's also good practice of law - your client and your partner will appreciate your thoroughness, and the judge will almost never hate it (some judges prefer brevity, but I've never had a judge upset at me for wordiness).

I also recommend getting apps that can automate things for you; I use Espanso to make my life easier by having easy-to-type shortcuts for common phrases and information (e.g., the current date, my bar card number, my work e-mail address, etc.). You can customize these things to make sense to your own brain - your process doesn't have to work for anyone but you. Similarly, I use macros in Word to make drafting go faster by letting buttons do all my formatting for me.

Excel sheets make excellent task lists because you can split them up by case, and set them up to highlight things (e.g., today's date) automatically. Most firms will have some kind of "docket meeting" where everyone goes over the status on each case - some people prefer handwritten notes (my best friend does), some people prefer digital notes (I have an excel workbook I use). Find a method that reduces distractions but lets you keep up with the flow of conversation.

On the topic of technology, if your firm provides a computer for you, or if your firm will provide accessories to supplement your own computer, push to have multiple monitors - I use my own laptop, but my boss provides monitors and I have two plus my laptop screen. It is WAY easier to keep up with billing if you can keep your time entry software open and visible on one of your screens.

You will be spending a lot of time in your office; make it comfortable. Once you are making enough to get by, invest in a good office chair (that you own, so you can take it with you if you leave the firm) and some basic office supplies that you like, such as a post-it note dispenser (mine is a cat!). My office chair is designed to let me sit cross-legged - I highly recommend having an office chair that matches your most comfortable sitting style. Having some things that are yours will make any future moves less awkward. I also strongly, strongly recommend getting some simple and quietish fidget toys - I have several spinners, wacky tracks, tangles, and clicky fidgets in one of my desk drawers, amongst others, to help me self-stim, as well as a sensory sticker on my desk pad (on the linked set, I have the rough version of the bottom middle sticker, the rainbow finger labyrinth one).

For me, I find that actual litigation requires scripting. Whether it's an oral argument or just a temporary orders hearing, I typically have every word I intend to say written down as much as I can (re-direct examination or re-cross examination can't be scripted before the day of, but I usually at least scrawl a summary of the question I need to ask as I'm taking notes). I don't necessarily read from it, and sometimes I veer off-script, but there is a specific comfort in having the words scripted out. On the few occasions I have ad-libbed things, I find that I come off less authoritative and confident, which gives the judge the impression that I am guessing. I also find comfort in having a copy of the code I need (which is always the Texas Family Code for me) on-hand at the counsel table. You are allowed to tell the judge you'd like to consult the statute when the judge asks you a question.

I also find that, for courtroom litigation, it's worthwhile to make sure your court clothes are comfortable. Courtrooms in my area are universally a little too warm, so I have a linen blazer that breathes and a variety of shell tops that don't have sleeves. I also have bad ankles, so I wear exclusively flats despite the fact that I am less than 5 feet tall. For me, heat sensitivity is a part of my sensory issues so I am all about setting myself up for success. It's also worthwhile to bring extra water bottles; at my firm (we are almost all ND in some regard), the standard is 2 per attorney and 1 for each support staff, then 1 for the client.

For out-of-court days, even "business" can be comfortable if you're a creative shopper. My last firm required business attire, though not necessarily courtroom attire. I wore a lot of dresses to stay cool, and a solid-color dress in a modest cut paired with a black blazer (which you can remove when you're just working in your office) almost always makes the cut. For those who don't like or can't wear dresses, comfortable slacks and a modest blouse or dress shirt, paired with a blazer, also works. My current firm only requires business casual for client meetings, courtroom attire for court, and otherwise as long as we cover our shoulders and don't wear shorts, we're good to go. I use a cardigan to cover my shoulders when I'm outside my office, as most of my blouses are sleeveless. It's worthwhile to invest in a good office sweater anyway; I like a thin t-shirt material cardigan for me, but my officemate uses a pullover knit sweater. Do what's comfortable.

Office meetings, or even court hearings, can sometimes get loud and overstimulating - buy you some Flare Audio Calmer ear inserts, they really do help take some of the 'sharpness' off of the noise. I also recommend a playlist that contains binaural beats (assuming you like them) or colored (white, brown, pink, etc) noise and a solid pair of ANC headphones or earbud, depending on your preference (the linked products are far from the only options, they're just reasonably-priced options that I know work; I personally use first-gen Airpod Pros). If you don't like binaural beats or white noise, instrumentals of pop songs are also excellent.

You can also get phone apps that layer binaural beats over your music - I find that it sometimes helps me calm down when I'm close to a meltdown, though I personally feel worse at the lower frequencies (I usually stay around the alpha-beta frequency line, but ymmv). I think there are probably also some apps for colored noise over your music, but I haven't looked. If you haven't before, I recommend experimenting with binaural beats and/or colored noise - I find that they can help calm down some of the staticky feeling I get from overstimulation.

Offices also sometimes involve other sensory dangers - like, for instance, food texture issues (another big one for me). You can often get out of things like that by simply explaining that the food doesn't agree with you, or that you're not very hungry - or, if your boss knows that you have sensory issues (mine knows I'm autistic), you can just quietly explain that it's a sensory problem and you have it under control. Keep some safe snacks in your office. You can avoid alcohol, if you're picky about it or just don't like it, by explaining that you're not in the mood to drink (or that you don't drink, period) and that you'll stick to soda/tea/water/whatever. Only major assholes will push past that.

Most coping mechanisms for sensory issues can be justified with "I don't feel good" or "I have a headache."

If your office chair hurts your back, get up and walk around. You are not in elementary school; at most firms, you can step out and just let your coworkers know where'/how to find you, and when you'll be back.

For intra-office and extra-office communications, if you have any doubts about the quality of the communication, you can put it in writing afterwards. A quick e-mail saying, "Okay, so this is my understanding of X, please let me know if I've misunderstood anything or if anything changes" is a good CYA to cover any communication difficulties; don't use idioms or shorthand in these e-mails - actually spell out exactly what you think happened, or what you think you've been asked to do.

If you're worried about your tone in written communications, Chat GPT is good at doing a first draft. It can also do a first draft of your attorney bio, if you're asked to write it yourself. Tell it the message you want to convey, and the tone in which you need it said. For instance, if you need to convey to a pro se opposing party that your world does not revolve around them, but you want to do it professionally, you might tell Chat GPT, "Write a professional e-mail to my opposing party conveying that my world does not revolve around them and that I will get to them when I get to them." That won't give you a perfect e-mail, but it gives you an idea of how to set the tone. Never trust any citation the thing gives you, but you can also use it to simplify complex thoughts for motions that you need to be simpler.

Law practice is also emotionally draining. Take the time to cry if you need to, or to go outside or into a breakroom and breathe.

Essentially, working in law when you're ND means finding tools to help you. It's definitely doable (as I said, most of my current firm is ND), but you'll need to find coping mechanisms to soothe yourself. If you've gotten into law school, I think it's clear that you're competent enough to work. The trick is not burning yourself out entirely, which I hope the above can help with.

* - This is not and never will be an endorsement of bar exams as a measure of competence for new attorneys. The bar exam is a racist and classist institution born from the desire of old white men to keep their good-ol'-boys club exclusive. Fuck the NCBE and abolish bar exams nationwide.

#lawblr #real lawblr #ask anon #anonymous ask #bar exam #attorney

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nethyr-ai · 5 months

Text

A Reflection on 2023

Dear Nethyzens,

First and foremost, this is NOT a graduation letter. I mainly wanted to share my thoughts and feelings about 2023 in writing. 2023 was a year of experimentation. It was bumpy but with many good highlights:

I started out on Twitch on 1/1/2021 and streaming weekly til 7/15/2023. I officially moved to Youtube and streamed when possible.

At around the end of 2022, I was interviewed by Ducky for a Dexerto article, How Vtubing helps trans creators explore gender identity safely. Thank you Ducky!

I joined nullptr::live at the end of March and started the Vtuber Seminar, starting with Coding with Luna. It was my first stream that reached 1k views!

youtube

I was a guest panelist at Anime Fest Dallas 2023 for the panel, LGBTQIA+ Expression & Representation in Vtubing, alongside Zane, Marina, Mika, and Ren. Thank you Mika for inviting me!

It was wild how much I got done despite working full-time and not streaming much. Initially, when writing this, I thought I haven’t done a lot. But in a way, I did so much more than I thought possible.

However, a part of me feels like I could have done better especially in regards to prepping my redebut. But since there’s no determined date, I will focus on making this as best as it can be within reasonable means next year.

For 2024, I’m continuing my experimentation. I will be moving from streams to edited video content, both short and long form. Scripts will be written out and I may host Discord calls where I’m actively working on videos instead of streaming. After seeing how my first Vtuber Seminar did, I learned that is my strength as a content creator - bringing knowledge to people whether it’s me bringing a guest who is an expert or me sharing my own research. If I do stream, it’d be to continue the Vtuber Seminar series.

I will also be focusing on growing my Discord community - I realized that as a content creator, I want to be a community leader. I want to inspire more people to try out vtubing and game development. I want to encourage people to be the best version of themselves. Since I won’t be streaming games as much, they will be moved to Community Game Nights - focusing on the core appeal of my gaming streams, hanging out with people. Lastly, for my redebut, I will be putting easter eggs throughout my video content next year. What this means is that lore will be sprinkled throughout my video content. I encourage you to hypothesize and theorize. Although, technically, there have been hints since when I first announced my redebut. Good luck piecing it all together, Nethyzens.

Sincerely,

Nethyr the Ex-Final Boss of nullptr::live

#vtuber #vtuber uprising #envtuber #indie vtuber #vtuberen #vtubers of tumblr #english vtuber #vtubers #2023 #new year resolutions #Youtube

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moonlightspencie · 1 year

Text

takes one to know one

Part 7 of ‘the sweetest con’

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: hotch gets a little owie in this one

<- LAST PART

We sat on the jet, nothing else to be said about the case that we hadn’t already discussed.

We were traveling across the country to Wyoming on account of a hunter wreaking havoc on a small town. I decided to take a seat away from the crowd after we’d finished talking and divvying up assignments for when we landed. I looked over our case files again, but was distracted a few minutes into it by her laughter.

I glanced up, an involuntary twitch of my lips almost giving way to a smile. She hit Morgan on the arm playfully, shaking her head. He looked at the others sitting with them, hoping they’d back up whatever claim he’d leveled at her.

I looked away again, trying hard to not to show that everything she did made me want to smile. Until I heard my name.

I quirked a brow as I looked up again, seeing Morgan and Emily looking away from me just as quickly. She kept her eyes on me the whole time, however, only smirking when I looked back with questioning eyes.

“Something I should know?” I asked in their general direction.

“Nothing you want to know,” JJ said with a laugh, popping her head over the seat to see me.

“You four aren’t allowed to sit together anymore,” I noted, looking back at the files with my mind elsewhere.

Reid snorted at the comment, silently continuing to read his book across from Dave.

“That rule should have been established a long time ago,” Dave noted, pulling a smile from me.

Emily turned around. “Can’t help if we’re curious. Why was your car at the building all night last week?”

JJ tried quietly reprimanding her for the question, but she didn’t back down.

“Excuse me?” I asked, trying not to let on that it was a question that made me very nervous.

“Your car didn’t move the night after the last case. It was in the same spot the next morning, and you came into work with Y/N,” she said matter-of-factly.

I glared at Dave for a moment. He raised his hands in surrender.

“They pulled it out of me,” he said, a smirk on his face.

“Plus,” Emily continued, “She won’t tell us what happened and it is making the whole situation way more suspicious.”

I sighed. “This is not an appropriate conversation to be having when we’re supposed to be focused on chasing down a serial killer.”

Everyone looked at me with blank faces. All but the woman who still wore that smirk. Luckily for me, nobody else seemed to notice that she seemed almost proud of herself.

I followed behind as Reid, JJ, and Y/N walked into the precinct. The others had already gone off to interview the few families of victims who were available at the time.

Usually I had a relatively easy time separating my work life and personal life, but I couldn’t get the possibility of being found out from my head.

I greeted the police chief and let him lead us to the room set aside for the team.

I hadn’t thought I was being obvious about the crush I had on her, but it seemed the others were beginning to pick up on it. I hoped she would remain blissfully ignorant.

JJ prepped to handle a very nosey reporter. She was committed to her favorite phrase: “no comment”.

If she was aware, it certainly didn’t seem to worry her. She was all smiles when the team was trying to get information out of her. I knew I shouldn’t look into that too much.

“Hotch.”

She had a sweet voice. I’d hate her to stop speaking to me if my secret got out. I couldn’t handle it.

“Hotch?”

I snapped out of it as I stood at the table, staring blankly at the map Reid had set up. She was looking at me like I’d grown a second head. She was much closer than I’d realized, too. Close enough to reach a hand out to touch my arm.

“Are you feeling alright?” She looked so cute when she was concerned. “You seem pretty clocked out right now.”

I cleared my throat. “I might just need a glass of water. I’ll be alright.”

“Why don’t you sit down?” she said, guiding me into a chair. I felt completely brainless. “I’ll go get you that water.”

I nodded, partially aware of what she was saying, and painfully aware that I needed to get a grip. I took a few deep breaths, coming back to myself. I had to get it under control, and I was determined that I’d do it immediately. I straightened in my chair, putting on my work face again.

She came back, handing me the water, watching as I quickly downed it.

“Thank you,” I nodded curtly.

She nodded back. “You’re okay?”

“I am. I was just feeling a little out of it,” I said, standing back up.

She didn’t move. I took the initiative to put space between us, getting a brow raise from her.

“Okay,” she said, suspicious. “If you need anything, I’ll be here, you know?”

“I know,” I accepted her offer.

She watched me for another moment, then nodded to herself and walked back to Reid. I huffed out a hard breath, then got to work.

We got a call a few hours later from Dave.

“What’s up, Rossi,” she greeted, putting the phone on speaker.

“A lot, kid. We think we have a lead, but we’ve got to move it quickly.”

I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean?”

“If we’re right, he’s on the way to his next victim right now.”

I sighed hard. “Okay. Go ahead and start over with the others. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“I’ll have Garcia send you the address.”

“Thanks, Dave.”

She hung up the phone, standing straight.

“Okay, let’s go,” she said, beginning to walk out of the room.

I quickly moved towards her, catching her arm.

“You’re staying here with Reid.”

“Why?” she questioned, annoyance already lacing her voice.

I raised a brow in surprise. “Because I am your unit chief and I gave you an order. I don’t need to explain myself.”

She scoffed. “That’s ridiculous.”

“You’re staying.”

I pushed past her to step into the hallway.

“Being friends doesn’t mean you treat me differently,” she said after a beat.

I stopped in my tracks. I turned slowly, jaw clenched.

“This is not the time, nor the place. We’ll talk later,” I said, my tone indicative of a final warning.

I drove fast towards the destination, the vest on me already feeling suffocating. The last thing I needed to be thinking about was a minor argument when I was supposed to be making it to my team. I had too much going on in my life in general. A divorce. Not being able to see my kid. The stress of the job. I didn’t need to be worried about her being annoyed at me. That wasn’t important in that moment.

I tried to shake it off, pulling next to the cars that were now empty in front of the cabin. I unholstered my gun, following after where the team had said they were going. A minute before I arrived, they called to say they were heading into the house before they checked out the barn.

I walked up the old steps, going in through the open door. I checked my surroundings every time I stepped into a new space. I heard the creak of a floorboard in the kitchen, slowly turning into the room on high alert.

I stiffened as a saw a figure, though I quickly let out a breath when it was a figure I recognized.

Morgan visibly relaxed when he saw that it was me, nodding at me when I gestured towards the door next to me. I turned to open the door, but felt a hard shove. I fell to the ground, immediately fighting against the man on top of me. I got one good hit to his face before I heard a gunshot ring out.

He fell limp on top of me, and Morgan ran over to push him off. I moved to get up, letting out a groan at a hot pain in my side. My hand flew to the area that caused the pain, and I looked down in horror when I realized it was wet.

“You’re hurt,” Morgan commented quickly, dropping to his knees next to me.

He helped me to lay back down, taking off his jacket to prop up my head.

“He stabbed me,” I muttered out in shock. “I didn’t see a knife.”

Rossi, Prentiss, and one local officer ran in, freezing for a moment before starting to call orders for another ambulance. I heard something about the victim being found in an upstairs bedroom, but my focus was shot even more than it had been earlier. The next several hours were a blur. I got a ride to the hospital, hearing murmurs about the amount of blood I’d lost. I stayed awake until they put me under for surgery, worried that the knife had hit internal organs.

When I finally woke up in an unfamiliar bed wearing a gown, my first reaction was annoyance.

“What am I doing here?” I said, voice hoarse.

I heard a rustling, looking over to whoever was in the room with me. She lifted her head from the side of the bed, eyes wide.

“You’re an idiot,” she breathed out, standing to hug me.

I accepted, wrapping an arm around her. I breathed in deeply, annoyance fading into a thankful feeling.

“I’m sorry,” I said, sighing softly.

She didn’t let go, quietly holding me for a while longer. The smell of her shampoo was a comfort, and I let my eyes close until she sat back down.

“He was like a centimeter away from causing some serious internal bleeding. If you had died I would have brought you back just to kill you myself,” she said, trying hard to be mad at me.

I was too tired to not smile at her. Her face betrayed her, a small smile pulling at her lips as she watched me.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I said quietly.

“You’re lucky. I just switched with Derek an hour ago,” she said, a soft laugh escaping her. Her eyes were a little glassy still. “What happened?”

“He caught me off guard—“

“Hotch.”

I swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you let me go with you?”

“You couldn’t have stopped this from happening. It could’ve been you.”

She sighed hard. “If it was, that’s the job. It’s what I signed up for. Not sitting at the precinct when you could have used backup.”

“Morgan was there when it happened. I wasn’t alone.”

“I still would’ve had your back.”

“Y/N—“

“No,” she stopped me. “Why did you make me stay?”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“That’s not how this works, Aaron,” she said, trying to stop her voice from raising any higher.

I paused, unsure what to say next. She huffed out another breath.

“You can’t treat me differently. It’s not fair to me or anyone else. You wouldn’t have made anyone else stay behind like that. I always come with in those situations.”

“I know.”

“Every time something like that has happened in the past, I went. Why did it change this time? That’s not fair.”

“It isn’t, you’re right.”

“Then why?”

“I can’t explain that.”

“Yes, you can,” she said, desperation in her voice. “You can. You just don’t want to.”

“I have too much going on right now for this,” I said, my eyes closing tightly.

“For me, you mean?”

“No.”

“For what, then?” she asked, scooting in closer. “Because it seems a whole lot like you’re trying to convince yourself to stay away from me and I don’t get why. If it was because of the job, that’d be one thing. But I know it isn’t. You could have died today and you still won’t be honest with me.”

I kept my eyes firmly squeezed shut. I knew I couldn’t run from this anymore, but I wished I had more time. I couldn’t explain my feelings to myself, let alone to anybody else.

“I don’t know what to say,” I finally got out in a small voice. “I don’t want things to change.”

“You don’t?”

I opened my eyes, seeing her looking back at me with a questioning gaze. She almost looked hurt, and I felt immediately guilty.

“There’s been so much changing.”

“I know.”

“You’re always there for me. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“You think I’d stop?”

“I’m worried you would.”

She swallowed, not taking her eyes off me. I felt her take my hand in hers.

“Why would I do that?”

I paused. “I don’t know. I’m just—“

“You don’t have to be afraid of me going anywhere,” she said, brushing her thumb over my knuckles. “I’m not the one who runs around getting stabbed.”

I laughed lightly, but quickly stopped, feeling the pain in my side.

“Oh,” she cooed, a small smile on her face as she watched me put a hand to my side. “Do you need more meds?”

“I’ll be okay. You’re just now allowed to make me laugh anymore.”

She chuckled. “Maybe I should’ve kept Derek in here, then.”

I smiled. “Maybe.”

She was quiet for a minute, reaching her hand up meet the other as it caressed my own.

“We have to talk about this, you know?” she said softly.

“Can I just have a little more time?”

She nodded. “Only if you promise me two things.”

“Anything,” I said quickly.

She smiled again, looking away from our hands and back at me. I sighed, somehow feeling perfectly content with her, even in circumstances like these.

“That you’ll stop treating me differently, for one.”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“And,” she added, “That we’ll have a real, sit-down conversation about this. Soon.”

I let out a breath, taking a moment to appreciate her still tracing patterns on my hand with her own. She felt soft and real and wonderful. I admired her for a moment, letting my eyes linger on her face. She seemed to already know what I needed to say, so there was no use in hiding it anymore. Not when we were alone.

“I promise.”

NEXT PART ->

—————

the sweetest con taglist:

@evee87 @spottedzebrasinpartyhats @rousethemouse @lalalove-56

aaron hotchner taglist:

@mrs-ssa-hotch @hyunjaebaby @ssamorganhotchner @criminalskies @simp4olderm3n

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds #aaron hotchner series #aaron hotchner x you #the sweetest con

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lovesosweeet · 7 months

Text

better left unsaid // cth

chapter eleven

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

july 31st, 2018 los angeles, california calum

Saying goodbye has never been my strong suit. I wish it would've gotten easier over time — with as many goodbyes as we've had to give, it should be easier. It's not.

I guess it's gotten easier with people who mean less. Friends, distant family. It's fine if we don't see each other too often, because the time we do spend together ends up feeling more valuable. I don't mind the few times we see each other each year having more weight than they used to, but with Orion, it's so, so different.

She's my absolute best friend. She's my unconditional, unwavering biggest fan. She's my voice of reason. She makes the good days even better and the bad days a bit less bad.

I had a life without Orion, before we met, but I never want to live a life without her again.

From the moment we woke up yesterday until now, both of us have been a lot more somber. We cling to each other as much as we can, needing to be as close as physics will allow. The only times we are apart are when one of us uses the bathroom.

I tossed and turned all night, my mind racing with thoughts. Why didn't I try harder to convince her to come with us? How often will we actually be able to talk? Between her classes, work-study, LSAT prep, press interviews, soundchecks, performances, traveling, sleeping, and time zones, how often will our lives line up?

I love touring. I really do, but I love Orion more than anything else in this entire world. I would do anything for her as soon as she asked.

I try to remind myself we’ll be back in time for the holidays and for O’s birthday, so while we’re missing time together, we aren’t missing any important days. Orion already has a Friendsgiving planned and I’m sure she’s got Secret Santa in the works too. I try to just think about the good parts of traveling and all of the fun things we’ll get to do when I get back. Emelia and I have already been trying to plan a trip for her and O to come join us on tour for their fall break, but we’ll see if that actually ends up being possible.

We’re not flying out until 3:00 this afternoon and don’t need to leave for the airport until 12:00, but I wake up at 6:00. I don’t wake Orion up until 8:30, but I spend my two and a half hours of silence in bed, holding her as close to me as I can without squeezing her so hard that she’d wake up. She looks so peaceful like this, her hair loosely cascading around her face, her skin makeup free, and her eyes closed, making it even more apparent that she has long, thick lashes. This is the last time I’ll wake up like this for a few months. I sneak a selfie of us, hoping to use it to remember how it feels to sleep next to O while we’re a million miles away.

To wake her up, I just start peppering kisses all over her face. First, her forehead. Then, her eyelids. Each cheek. Her jaw. Her temple. I wait for her eyes to sleepily blink open before I press my final kiss to her lips.

"Mornin', baby."

She smiles, sleepily gazing up at me. "Morning."

I could get lost in her eyes forever.

"Wanna get pastries and coffee?"

Her smile grows into a grin. "Yes, please."

—

After a morning of flaky croissants, weird lattes, and a long walk around the neighborhood, Orion and I took our last shower together for a while. We stood under the steamy stream of hot water, just holding each other in silence. I'm going to miss those moments.

Following the shower, I dress in an all black sweatsuit and slides. Orion pulls on the shirt I wore yesterday — "it smells like you" she explained — and a pair of sweat shorts, slipping her Birkenstocks on. We cuddle with Duke on the couch while we wait for the van that Matt sent to pick us up. I make sure to pet Duke a ton and give him a few treats so that his last interaction with me is a happy one.

The call that the driver is here comes far too quickly, and we buzz him up to let him get my bags. I don't make him carry all of them. He gets my two larger checked bags, and I grab my duffel bag, and Orion carries my backpack. I probably overpacked, but things seem to mysteriously disappear whenever we're on the road.

"Are you going on vacation?" Ron asks when we're clambering through the lobby with all my luggage.

"Cal's going on tour," Orion explains. Her sad expression hurts something in my chest.

Ron smiles. "Oh, wonderful! That's so exciting. Calum, I hope to hear about your journey when you return. Best of luck!"

I smile graciously and nod. "Sure thing, thanks Ron. Keep an eye on this one for me, will you?" I motion to Orion, who glares in response, and Ron agrees to make sure she's safe.

We throw my bags into the trunk of the black van, the driver opening the sliding door for Orion and me. I let her get in first, of course, and then climb in after her, closing the door behind me. We sit as close to each other as we can in the backseat, my arm wrapped around Orion's small frame, her head on my chest, my other hand intertwined with her hands while she traces over my tattooed initials.

She's already crying, and I have to look away so I don't follow suit.

The drive is silent; the driver doesn't even play a shitty top 40 station. All we listen to is the GPS navigation.

Our driver takes us to a special entrance at LAX where we don't have to mix with the public, and as we pull up, I see Michael and Crystal getting their things out of the van that brought them.

"Hey guys!" Michael cheers.

Of course, they're happy. They're not spending this tour apart and are going to get to travel the world together. They're looking forward to this whole thing, meanwhile I'm dreading it.

Okay, I suppose dreading it isn't quite how I'd describe it. I'm excited to tour and see fans all over the world and perform the music we just released. I am dreading being apart from the girl I love most.

Orion doesn't say anything, she just waves to him.

When Michael catches onto our mood, he frowns and runs over to us, wrapping us into a hug. "Don't be sad, guys! This tour isn't that long. We'll be back before you know it, O."

She sniffles and nods, pulling back from Michael. "I'm gonna miss you guys." Her teary eyes catch Mike's gaze and then I see something in him shift before he hugs her again. Orion keeps her hand in mine while she hugs him back.

"You're gonna make me cry too! It's gonna be fine, OK? We all love you and will miss you just as much as you miss us."

Once Orion manages to regain some of her composure, we head inside. Our bags have already disappeared, except for our backpacks and Crystal's tote bag. When we get in, Matt, Ashton, Luke, Sierra, and most of our crew are already in there, milling about.

"Great, you're here," Matt says while he walks up to us. "Let's go ahead and start going through security."

Again, we're in some separate part of LAX that the public doesn't have access to, but we do still have to go through TSA like everyone else, it's just a separate, far smaller one.

Unspokenly, everyone lets Orion and me go first so we can have as much time on the other side as we can together.

Once we've gone through security and have our shoes back on, I pull Orion off to a secluded corner and just hug her as tight as I can. I can feel her tears soaking my sweatshirt, and I try to console her by smoothing my hand over the back of her head. Her small hands clutch at the back of my sweatshirt, balling the material into her fists.

It takes a lot of effort for me not to cry.

Why is saying goodbye so hard?

I don't know how long we're standing there for. I'm just trying to be here with Orion for as long as I can.

"Boys, time to board," Matt calls.

Fuck. It's time.

"Say your goodbyes," he adds.

Even though he says boys, he's not talking to Mike or Ash or Luke. Crystal and Sierra are coming with us, and Kay is at the hospital with her grandma, and the rest of our crew wasn't allowed to bring guests into the airport at all. He's just talking to me.

Orion squeezes me closer to her as hard as she can, and I just keep smoothing her hair. It's so soft.

I take a few deep breaths, preparing to speak without my voice cracking. "I'll see you when I get back. I love you."

She sniffles, and I feel her back shake while she cries. It breaks my heart to be the cause of this pain. She doesn't deserve it. "I love you," she manages to say.

I pull back so I can look at her. Her face is red and puffy, tears shiny on her cheeks, and yet, she's still so beautiful. I could look at her forever. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, even when you're crying," I tell her, meaning every single word. I wipe away her tears with my thumb.

She scrunches up her face and blushes, looking so cute while she does. Everything about her is just... perfect.

"Flattery isn't getting you anywhere today, babe," she starts. I pretend like she's wounded me. "I love you. Go, board. I'll be cheering you on every night."

Instead of replying, I lean down and kiss her again. How can I not kiss her every day? I lived a life without Orion before, and I never want to do that again. I want to kiss her every day for the rest of my life. I want to make her laugh every day. I want to love her every day. God, I can't imagine not loving this girl. How can anyone not fall in love with her?

"I love you so much. I'll call you when we land, okay?" I kiss her nose. We're going to Japan first, so it'll be quite a long travel time. I don't want her waiting around trying to time the call correctly, so I'll just plan on calling her the moment our wheels touch down in Tokyo.

"Did I mention I love you?" I ask. That makes her grin, and my heart hurts a little less.

"No, I don't think so," she teases.

"I did!" I pout.

Orion gently pushes my chest. "Go."

I sigh, nodding. "I'm gonna miss—"

I'm cut off when a hand grabs my shoulder and I feel a body behind me. "Cal, mate, we've really gotta go." It's Ashton. I hang my head and nod.

"It's not easy to say goodbye to the love of your life, dude!" I defend myself.

Ashton grins, but his eyes are sad, too. He must be thinking about how Kay isn't joining us yet, either. He gets how hard it is to leave. "She also literally just told you to go!"

"I'm gonna miss you too, babe," Orion chimes in. She kisses me again and then she steps several feet away from me, too quickly for me to try to catch her and pull her back. "Go!" She laughs.

I know she doesn't mean it negatively; she's just trying to let me do my job and what I love, but it hurts somewhat that she's telling me to go. I can't explain it. I sigh.

"Okay, fine, I'll go," I decide sadly.

Orion blows me a kiss as I walk backward toward the door, and I numbly leave, trying my hardest not to cry. Once I'm through the door, I let a few tears fall. I realize then that no one else has gotten the chance to say goodbye to Orion, so I'm the only one getting on the plane from our group.

The crew, Michael, Luke, Crystal, and Sierra join me soon, each offering me sympathetic glances.

"We're gonna have fun, mate," Michael says, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Orion's a strong girl, she'll be fine without you."

I just nod, not saying anything.

I take my seat on the plane, watching the rest of our crew clamber past me. I wonder what's taking Ashton so long to board. I know he and Orion are close, but it's odd considering now we're just waiting for Ashton and Matt. I quickly send a text to Orion while we wait.

To: my love + stars i love love love you. i wish you could come with us, maybe next tour? you say the word and i'll fly you out wherever and whenever you want. i miss you already. xxx

When Ashton finally boards, his eyes are red and he's wiping away tears, too. He sits next to me, sniffling quietly.

"I'm gonna miss her," he admits.

I smile sadly. "Yeah, me too."

From: my love + stars i'll miss you far more i promise. love you the literal most ever. go take on the world.

“She loves you so much, man,” Ashton mutters.

I’m not sure where that came from, but I know emotions are at a high. “I love her so much.”

He nods. “I know.”

Once everyone is on the plane, they shut the door and we start taxiing. Ash gets out his headphones, signaling to me that we aren’t going to be talking on this flight, at least not now. I get mine out too, send Orion a few heart emojis, text my family that we’ve boarded our first flight of the tour, and then put it into airplane mode.

I check the time. It’s 2:32. Underneath the numbers, I stare at the picture of Orion and me from the other day when we got ice cream. She looks so pure, and happy, and the sun reflected in her eyes in a way that made them almost look lit up. I can’t wait to be back and see them in person again.

God, this is going to be a long tour.