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#totally normal about this song i swear
shanti-ashant-hai · 1 year
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DONT LOOK IN MY EYES I FEEL A SUDDEN DESIRE
DONT KNOW IF I CAN DENY A SUDDEN DESIRE
YOUR FINGERPRINTS ON MY SKIN A PAINFUL REMINDER
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crescendoofstars · 11 months
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otp: you learned my song
reblog if you agree.
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charmre · 10 months
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It's too kind of you to say you can help but there's no one around who can save me from myself
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im just. thinking abt feng xin being an archer like do u think he hunts?? i bet he hunts. maybe he goes for a hunt in the woods with his bow and his horse and he just. stays out there for several days hunting deer and fowl like in a folk song, he's a bold rider and a good shot and finds good hiding spots to ambush his prey and all that. his cheeks are ruddy as he climbs the mountainside and doesn't he look well in his boots and trousers!!!! (<- actual lines from actual folk songs that actually exist actually 😔👌)
bonus. what if one day mu qing goes with him. he complains the whole time but actually he just wants to be together. fx whittles a hairpin out of bone or antler for him. mq sitting on a fallen log to criticise fx's technique, and also to admire feng xin's strength when he's chopping wood or carrying a carcass on his big shoulders sidsoihdfsdjfsdjsafsdfasgg
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thatone-churro · 10 months
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yeah, okay, i don’t care if it’s not technically a full song or whatever; sober interlude just makes me FEEL something, dude. like, i don’t know how i’m supposed to explain it but i swear something just, like, does something inside me - radiates? resounds? something that starts with an r idk - and bro it just feels. idk what it feels like but it feels. feels clean. feels honest? feels something good and pure idk man.
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the-multi-geek · 2 years
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Listens to a song on various stages of repeat between podcasts:
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Deathbody is doing some evil things to me
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Gem would like to pretend that things are normal around Magic Mountain.
Or, well, that everyone else is normal, and she’s keeping all the weirdness to herself. She’s the one who decided to go a little creepy this season, after all, and as far as she can tell, she’s the only one smelling the rot coming from the river. All her neighbors should be fine, and have only commented that her boat burns a lot of coal fumes that sort of reek. It’s definitely not rot, and things are normal for them, and they are decidedly abnormal for her.
Which is fine! Gem wants her friends safe! Sure, she’s been hearing weird gurgling noises from the flooded caves that line the beaches, but she’s probably just hallucinating. Or maybe Scar is smacking salmon heads on note blocks again, despite living on the other side of the mountain. And sure, Impulse died and came back completely washed of color, but that’s just a demise thing. It’s just the creepy she dragged along with her- Joel’s totally fine, and that’s enough evidence for her.
Well, it would be if not for the fact that the salmon she’s been getting from fishing are starting to look…strange, all sharp-finned and much slimier than normal. And the cod, too, have far too many gills, like gashes down their sides. Grian pulls up a fish one afternoon and Gem swears it’s got six eyes, but Grian only remarks them as “weird patterning” and shoves it right into the furnace for cooking.
He’s been eating a lot of fish, recently, straight from this very river, the one that smells of rot. Caught them all himself. He’s also been fishing a lot- Gem doesn’t know the last time he worked on his base. He keeps trying to dredge up a book. She asks him one day why he keeps going if he’s already got a ton of books from the water, and he sounds haggard when he replies:
“The book, Gem. I’m not looking for a book. I’m looking for the book. It’ll give me all the answers I need. I haven’t found it yet, but the ocean will provide for me. I know it’s the next one.”
Something in the way he looks at her makes her gut twist. His eyes are empty, glossed over, and she knows the joke is that he looks like a cod, but it’s- he’s different, now, washed out and shiny skin, little to no meat on his bones, bags like pits under his soulless eyes. Something about the way he phrased that—the ocean will provide for me—makes her spine recoil back, feet dragged backwards towards her boat. A fear-stricken laugh bubbles up Gem throat as she tries to remember the last time he wasn’t fishing. When was the last time he slept?
Come to think of it, when was the last time she slept? Isn’t there a warning for those who stay up too late?
And when she tells him it’s an addiction, Grian just laughs it off, throws his rod into the sea, and pats the seat next to him. And then there she is, fishing alongside him, like she was always doing. She was planning to do this, yes. More and more of Magic Mountain arrives, plus Etho, who brings along a disc to put them in the mood. It’s a swan song.
The ocean sings back. It gives her an image of a great tall lighthouse, cherished by watery angels, who dance around it. It gives her the size, the colors, the materials to recreate it in verse. She smiles. It tells them all to knock another hermit off the list of survivors. She grins.
Before turning to join the group on their quest, Gem looks into the water one last time. Staring back is a well-kept woman with long, shiny red hair.
There is a book in her hand.
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jasmines-library · 5 months
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Hello sugar <3! (im very sorry if theres any spelling errors, english isnt my first language <3)
I would love to request some angst/comfort with the batfam? Maybe with the reader (tw: sa, rape) struggling with some sexual assault/rape issues, something they haven't told the family yet? The reader acting different for weeks, months even, and the whole family being suspicious and noticing their sudden fear of being cornered, touches and certain smells maybe?
its totally fair if you don't feel like it, I just really really love your way of writing the characters, and your writing over all. I swear, i swallowed your whole page in the matter of a few hours, I loved every second!
Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?
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Note: My gosh im so sorry this literally took me over a month to get to, but it's here. I'm so glad you like my page and thank you for requesting! (Title name from song)
Warnings: SA, r*pe (non explicit but this fic deals with the aftermath. Please read with caution.), Panic attack of sorts.
Word count: 2.1K
⛤ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛤
Please remember, if you are ever struggling you are not alone. It may be difficult at first but there are many places for you to reach out to, many of which are anonymous and do not need the involement of of name, if you are just needing for someone to talk to. There will always be someone out there to help you. As an alternative, my DM’s are always open for a chat! Remember: You are loved and you are so much stronger than you realise.
You hadn’t meant to drift away. It sort of just…happened. And it wasn’t even something you were conscious of really. The thoughts were just constantly there and you couldn’t shake the feeling of his hands roaming all over his body; the ghostly touch of his fingers lingering flush against your skin, burning an invisible bruise into your flesh. You tried to shy away from it but it was always there, buried into the front of your mind festering away like an old, unforgotten wound oozing with pus and blood that would only create more problems the longer it was left. 
The night it happened was cold and bitter. A shallow fog had cast itself over the city as you staggered back to the manor with makeup running carelessly down your face. You shut yourself away, turning the lock on your door and burying yourself under the covers to try and  shy away from the situation. But it never left. It just kept growing, weeding its way back through the open cracks like a stubborn plant that refused to leave no matter how many times you doused it with poison. You didn’t sleep that night. And you didn’t leave your room the day after. In fact the only time anyone saw you that day was when you slunk downstairs in the middle of the night to try and revive the growling of your stomach without having to see anyone when you bumped into Tim who was finally dragging himself up to bed. The interaction was odd. At first he thought that you had just been busy all day and that was why no one had seen you: It wasn't uncommon for one of you to disappear into your room for a few days to catch up on school work or to finally get more than 4 hours of sleep. But something about you was off. You were quiet and lacking that charisma that usually shone from you. You were jumpy too, recoiling as soon as Tim rounded the corner unexpectedly. 
When you finally managed to bring yourself out of your room, you were still withdrawn. Instead of donning your normal seat next to Jason at the table, you sat at the end alone pushing your food aimlessly around the plate until someone had finished eating and you took that as a cue to leave. You didn’t mean to leave them in the dark. Really, you didn’t but the thoughts crept into your mind every time they got near. Every hand outstretched sent a shiver crawling down the nape of your neck as if someone was running an ice cold digit along your spine. The thoughts were worse. Intruding. Obnoxious. You felt so…dirty. And your mind seemed to like to make sure you remembered that. You couldn’t help but feel like somehow the whole situation was your fault, which of course it wasn’t, but you were stuck with being guilt ridden; trapped within your walls. 
Your skittishness didn’t go unnoticed. The boys tried many times to talk to you or to get you alone, but each time one of them hastily trailed after you as you slunk out of a room you would pick up your pace until they got the hint and stopped dejectedly in the halls. You had just skittered off into another part of the manor when Damian decided he had finally had enough. 
He pushed his way back into the library rather frustratedly, stomping his feet so hard against the floor that they continued to pound through the room even as he moved from the polished wood to the carpet amongst the centre of the room. His brothers were still lounging around the room, their legs slung carelessly over the arms of the chairs or folded beneath them as they engrossed themselves in their phones or an ever growing pile of books. They barely even acknowledged that Damian had even returned from his pursuit of use, besides lifting their gaze as he huffed his way back into the room. 
“Something is wrong with Y/N.” Damian declared, planting his feet into the carpet in the centre of the room and placing his hands on his hips. 
Dick felt as though he could laugh. Damian’s statement was so obvious that you may as well have had a huge, yellow sign above your head that screamed ‘i’m not okay.’ It didn't matter how much effort you put into trying to hide the bags that dropped across your skin, or the way that you couldn’t stand to be in the same room with any of them for too long without your skin crawling, they were prominent amongst your saddened features. “Yeah, No shit.”he said, looking up from his phone that he had been mindlessly scrolling on to distract himself from the feeling that gnawed at his gut.
The room fell into a pregnant silence before Damians angry scoff broke the silence. 
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?” He spat. “You’re not worried?”
Jason pushed himself up onto his forearms and spoke out defensively. “Of course we’re worried… It’s just…”
“What?”
“She won’t let us help her, Dami.” Tim said. “We’ve tried, but each time she’s run.”
“Well then try harder!” He said. It was unusual for the youngest Wayne to react this way when it came to his siblings. But, then again it was unusual for you to shy away like this and although Damian would never admit it, he had a soft spot for you and seeing you hurting like this killed him a little inside. 
“Damian.” Dick reprimanded sternly. 
He sighed and swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry. I just can’t see them suffering like this anymore.”
There was a general agreement between the four of them. Tim chewed away at his bottom lip as he thought for a moment. “What do you propose we do?”
The whole room seemed to think together as one for a moment. 
“We corner them.” Damian said. It might have seemed cruel, but it was the only thing he could think of that would stop you from slipping away again. “If they keep running there’s no way we’re going to be able to help, so we just have to compromise.”
~
You knew that Jason was behind you. You could hear his careful footsteps, evenly spaced by his long strides as he tried to catch your attention. He was loitering outside of your room, trying to catch you as you left. It surprised you to see him as you peeled open the door. You had flashed him as much of a grin as you could muster up as he greeted you, trying to draw you into a one sided conversation that you were itching to get away from the moment it started. You tried to remind yourself that it was just Jason. That he wasn’t going to hurt you. But your mind still thought it was funny to play cruel tricks on you and soon you were making up a poor excuse and fleeing down the halls. 
You didn’t make it far though before you collided with a tall figure marching down the other end of the corridor, who braced his hands on your shoulders. Yelping at the unexpected contact you spun on your heel to turn back the way you came only for your breath to get stuck in your throat when you were met with the red of Jason’s shirt. When you backed up, you collided with the eldest vigilante again. Spinning around frantically, you searched for a way out. There was none. 
You were trapped. 
The thought consumed you quickly, dragging you down like a ton of bricks tied to your ankles until you were drowning in the thought of being imprisoned again. It was all you could think of. It screamed throughout your mind, pumped in your blood. It was nauseating. You could see the other two approaching and panic set into your already scrambled mind. You weaved, trying desperately to spot an exit but the two vigilantes were much bigger than you and their hefty frames took up most of the corridor. 
“No. No no no.” You rambled as your heart rate skyrocketed and your breathing came in sporadic, panicked gasps. 
Tim furrowed his brow. He didn’t think you would react like this. He reached out to grasp your forearms to ease your shaking body, but you nearly screamed, yanking your arms away from him and backing up against the wall. 
“Don’t touch me!” You stuttered, barely audible between your spiralling state. Fat, hot tears tracked along your face as you sunk to the ground to bury your face within your knees which you clutched to your chest. 
The four boys exchanged an anxious glance. 
“Y/N…”
“Please…” You gasped. “Stay away from me. I-I can’t anymore… no more. Please.”
“Y/N? What's wrong?” Dick queried. “Talk to us, please. We want to help.”
“No…” You whimpered. 
Damian squatted down beside you resting on the balls of his feet before reaching out slowly towards you, ignoring the warning glance that Jason sent his way, and placing it gently on your shoulder. 
Flinching, you squeezed your eyes shut. He could feel the way you trembled like a leaf under his touch but he didn’t let go.
“It’s just me Y/N. It’s Dami.”
You registered his words, but you still felt like you were back in that room. You allowed your body to relax just the smallest amount.
“It’s just us, kid. You’re okay.” Dick cooed. 
You sniffled. The four of them were crouched around you now.
“You can trust us.”
Your body tensed as you were hit with reminders of that night. The way he had led you away to commit his act of betrayal that would cut deeper than a thousand knives. 
“That’s what he said.” You hiccuped. 
“Who?” Tim asked tenderly. “Talk to us Y/N.”
You shook your head, biting down on your lip. You didn’t want to bring up the memory stuck in your mind. 
“Kid… we can’t help you if we don’t know what’s happening.”
“He- he… took me away from the crowds… He said to trust him- and I thought I could. B-but then he-” Your voice split into an unholy sob. 
“Oh..Y/N/N…” Dick said, suddenly understanding. 
“I can’t stop thinking about it. I can still feel him. Hear him. Just make it stop please!.” You begged, sobbing into your hands.”
“It’s okay. You’re safe.” He told you, reaching out gently to place a hand on your forearm, you tensed slightly but didn’t pull away. “We’re not going to let anyone hurt you. Ever.”
“We promise.”
You peeled your head away from your arms to reveal your bloodshot, teary eyes. From close up they could see how clearly the ordeal had taken a toll on you. Not just on your body but your mind too.
It took some convincing and a lot of gentle touches of reassurance to get you off of the floor, but the four of them managed to ease you back into your room. They refused to leave you alone after that. Insisting that at least one of them stay by your side at all times until you decided on your own terms that you were ready to take the next step in your recovery and stay the night alone. It was a slow process, but each small milestone made them extremely proud of you. They were there when you awoke suddenly in the middle of the night, crying and shaking, and they were there when you managed to move forwards too.  They were there to remind you that recovery isn’t linear, and that it was okay to move backwards. It’s all part of the process. The four of them showed you a different kind of gentleness that you had never seen before, and they tried their hardest to bring a smile to your face everyday. And it was their kindness that began to wash away those feelings. It was them who made you realise that you were loved, strong and would find your way back from the darkness and into the light.
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devildomsoup · 1 year
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Silly little headcanons #1
Lucifer
Definitely has a favourite pen and everyone dreads the day he will have to change it.
He once shrunk Cerberus and carried him around in a handbag because he had to go to the vet.
Joint pains (no, I will not elaborate)
Has a picture in his wallet of his brothers and MC. Luke is also there for some reason.
Mammon
Will turn off the lights and walk out of his room. Walks back a few moments later to check if he remembered to turn the lights off.
Boops his younger brothers on the nose when he says goodnight.
Considered dying his hair piss yellow at some point.
He swears that Luke is just an annoying little chihuahua that he doesn't care about. But the pictures of him accompanying Luke to the cinema suggest otherwise.
Leviathan
He forgets to throw out socks with holes in them. So sometimes he will just walk around with socks that are barely holding on.
Has a controller that only MC is allowed to use. He will not even use it himself.
Can touch his nose with his tongue
Accidentally called his brothers "Ruri" on multiple occasions.
Satan
Has an album on his phone with pictures of him and Lucifer. Will deny it if you ask him.
Once cursed the entirety of Lucifer's record collection. The curse in question made it so the only song on any of the records was Baby Shark.
When he wants MC's attention he will go "pspspsps."
Satan has put on his blue jacket normally a grand total of 6 times.
Asmodeus
Will wear heels with just about anything. Yes, that includes sweatpants.
A lesser demon once found out about MC's deepest insecurity and started using it to insult them. Asmodeus found out and sent the demon flying through a wall.
He either sneezes like a cat or like an old man. There is no in-between.
He reminds everyone in HoL to drink water and will make sure they do so one way or another.
Beelzebub
Not allowed to be alone in RAD's art supply room. He will eat the paint if left unattended.
He only had 4 shirts until Asmodeus forced him to get more.
Takes Luke with him around RAD when Simeon can't. Also scared of any demon that looks at Luke the wrong way.
He has carried every single one of his brothers to bed more than once. Lucifer is no exception.
Belphegor
Follows the cat rule. If it fits I sits.
Don't tell anyone but his favourite blanket is the jackets of his older brothers.
Will sometimes force people to take a nap with him. Does someone look tired boom it's nap time.
Pops his back really loudly whenever he wakes up
Simeon
Will show anyone and I mean anyone pictures of Luke like a proud father.
Got scammed once and now he's afraid of opening links.
He once accompanied Beel to a workout and ended up destroying a punching bag.
Do not under any circumstances let him be alone in the candle section of a store. Purgatory Hall already has a closet full of them.
Raphael
Tried to kill a fly with one of his spears.
When asked if he wanted anything special for his birthday he requested a cake made by Solomon.
Enjoys watching butterflies flutter around. He will stand absolutely still if one lands on him and stay like that until the butterfly leaves again.
Wins every staring contest.
Luke
Has gotten lost in stores, parks and RAD so many times that he now has a bracelet with the contact info of Simeon and Barbatos. Even though he has his own D.D.D.
Mimics Simeon and Raphael to appear like a mature angel.
He will never admit it but he makes drawings for the brothers.
Luke and MC have a secret handshake.
Solomon
Immune to the pain of stepping on a lego.
Once accidentally turned himself into a rat and nearly got murdered by Barbatos.
Enjoys watching romcoms with MC.
Can and will randomly appear in MC's room tell them a horrible joke and then vanish into thin air.
Thirteen
She has the most random things in her pocket. Watch her pull out a porcelain frog from one of her pockets.
She had a buzz cut at some point.
Will drag you out of bed in the middle of the night so you can test her new inventions.
Loves playing with people's hair. It doesn't matter what texture or length it is. Just let her play with it.
Diavolo
Has a rubber duck collection.
Was introduced to vocaloid and now he won't stop singing World is Mine.
Gives the best hugs. 10/10 would hug again.
Buys Barbatos flowers every week to show his appreciation.
Barbatos
Knows how to tap dance.
Let's MC call him Barbie.
He receives small trinkets from the Little Ds.
Will cradle MC like a little baby when he is stressed or just missed them.
Mephistopheles
He enjoys soup.
He says he hates hugs. But in reality, he might even shed a few tears if you hug him.
A master of building card houses.
Once took care of a bat until it was healthy enough to live on its own.
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loserforeddie · 2 years
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Shot In The Dark
(yes again the song is based on the Ozzy Osbourne song. But it makes sense trust me)
Summary: When the popular good-grade student start to talk to Eddie Munson, he thinks it’s too good to be true. They become quick friends, but when she asks him out, learns that it was too good to be true...
Eddie Munson x fem! reader
Warnings: Bullying, Eddie thinking he got asked out by the reader as a joke, Eddie not understanding feelings, shy reader
Word count: 3.3k
SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG YALL. also this is gonna be two parts! also male version of this story will be posted soon!
Part 2 here :)
. . . .
Eddies eyes followed you as you walked down the aisle of the cafe. Your tray in one hand and an English book in the other.
He watched slowly as your eyes pointed straight ahead, not even glancing at him. Not that he had expected you to. 
You, being “Hawkin’s Pride and Joy” would never give him the time of day. Not with your grades or social standing. And it was pathetic of him to even hope you would.
And yet still, you had given him the time of day. 
Four weeks ago, to be exact. 
He was in the library, a place he rarely was, trying so hard to study for Mrs. O’Donelle’s next test. It was getting late, nearing eight, and he knew he should get going. 
But still, he had no idea what this test was even on. He stared blankly at the test review page in front of him. Hoping if he stared long enough, it would somehow make sense. 
But, it didn’t.
He let out a long, dramatic sigh. Flinging his head back and rolling his eyes.
Normally, he was sure someone would have shushed him or given him a dirty look for all the commotion he was causing. But no one was in the library at that time, he knew that no one would be as dumb as him to stay this late-
“Excuse me,” a voice behind him said, “Is that seat taken?” You asked so politely as you pointed to the seat next to him.
He jumped, startled by your soft voice.
Your eyes stared down into his, you had your normal amount of makeup on, but the lipgloss you wore made your lips stand out more to him. You wore something so casual, a normal every-day-outfit, but still, everything about you screamed polished, pristine. 
He gulped, nodding before saying, “N-No, it’s not.”
You gave him a small smile before setting your bag and books down next to him.
Up until that moment, he had never truly given you the time of day, never looked in your direction, never even thought about you.
And yet, here you were, sitting next to him, almost elbow to elbow.
You turned over to him smiling, “My name is Y/N, and you’re Eddie right?”
He gawked at you for a minute. You remembered his name? What mythical world was this?
After a very strange and long silence, he finally said, “Uh-yeah, yeah that’s me. Eddie.”
God, he wanted to shoot himself. 
But you just smiled at him, “That’s cool. What test you’ studying for? Mines for Pinleiy, his class is seriously kicking my ass.”
His eyebrows quirked up, he didn’t expect someone like you to swear. And yet, he also didn’t expect you to sit with him. 
“O'Donnell,” he said, a bit quietly.
You groaned, “Oh my god, she’s such a bitch! I hated her class. She made everything so difficult for everyone, those homework assignments always kicked my ass.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow. Where you, Y/N L/N, really trying to start a conversation with him? 
He paused for a minute. 
“Yeah, she sucks man. I failed her class twice.”
You looked over your shoulder, checking to see if anyone was there. Before looking back at him smirking, “Don’t tell anyone, but on her last final I totally cheated!”
Eddie’s eyebrows shot up, “No way, the Y/N L/N? Na, I ain't buying it.”
You giggled, “It’s true! I wrote my notes on my arm.”
Eddie scoffed, “Please, that’s the oldest shit in the book. You probably got caught but Mrs. O’Donnell let you get away with it because of how much of a goody-two-shoes you are.”
You gasped at him, “I’m hurt! I’ll have you know I was super slick about it!”
Eddie let out a laugh, a genuine laugh, “Please, I highly doubt that.”
You huffed, “You know, I was going to ask if you needed help studying, but after this, I will no longer be offering my services.”
He chuckled, “You? Help me? Come on, this has to be some sort of sick joke.”
But you shook your head, “Nope. I mean it, if you want, I can help you. Seriously.”
He looked at you, your eyes twinkling with sincerity. 
He let out a sigh, “Yeah, I mean if the smartest girl in Hawkins offers to tutor you, you kinda have to say yes, right.”
You giggled, “I don’t know if I’d say I’m the smartest-”
Eddie let out a laugh, “Oh come on, don’t be so modest. You and that Wheeler girl are like, stupidly smart. And popular, Jesus what a match.”
You rolled your eyes, “I’m not popular-”
But Eddie cut you off again, “Uh-huh, you tell yourself that, sweetheart.”
At the mention of the nickname, he notices your composer shift, only for a moment. You become flustered, your calm and charming exterior cracked for just a moment. Replaced with a shy, flustered girl.
“But,” Eddie continued, “yes, I would appreciate any help.”
After he said that, you perked up. 
“W-well, um, let’s get started!”
You two stayed for a while until he felt confident about his ability to actually pass this upcoming test. 
He beamed at you, “Wow, thanks Y/N. Damn, might even get myself an A.”
You giggled at his pride, your eyes shining with admiration. “You worked hard, I’m sure you’ll do great.”
Eddie gave you a goofy grin, “Na, I could never get this far without you…thank you Y/N.”
He saw your eyes dart away from his, face flushed, “Oh yeah, yeah don’t even worry about it. Just think of it as..as a favor.”
Eddie cocked a brow at you, “Damn, one heck of a favor. You know you didn’t have to do this, right? I mean, we don’t even know each other.”
You smiled at him, and a felt a small pull in his gut. 
“I don’t know, I thought it would be nice. And besides, I had nothing else going on. And you’re pretty good company, Munson.”
He didn’t know why, but he felt his heart start to race in his chest, and the feeling of his stomach doing jumping jacks when your eyes met his. Had you always been so pretty?
He gulped down his nerves, “You’re not so bad yourself, Y/N.”
You smiled at that, “Glad you think so.”
. . . 
After a few days, you talked to him again.
He was at one of his favorite music stores, He lost his favorite tape of Iron Maiden (Piece of Mind) and realized he needed it in order to be able to jam out properly.
And he loved this little music shop. Notably, it had mostly rock and metal songs, but it also had popular and more mainstream artists as well. He grimaced at the Beatles and Bowie cover next to his beloved Black Sabbath. 
He sighed, finally finding the album he needed. 
Just as he was about to head over to the counter, he heard the door open followed by a familiar voice.
“Pardon me,” he heard you say, “do you happen to have any Metallica tapes? For a walkman?”
He swore his heart did a double-take, seeing your pretty face in such a dark place as this small music shop, really made you stand out.
Not to mention, you had just asked if they had any Metallica. That was enough to get his heart pumping louder than it had before.
As one of the employees showed you the way to one of the metal sections of the store, he followed you.
“Right here, ma’am. We even got the newest album, let me know if you need any help,” the employee said politely, before walking away.
As you searched, he came up behind you.
“Didn’t realize you liked Metallica.”
He saw you jump at his words, your face shooting back to his.
“Wow!” He said, “Easy there! Didn't mean to frighten you.”
You shook your head, “Sorry I just didn't see you there. And um… I'm not a Metallica fan. I just- I just heard they were good.”
Eddie nodded, smirking, “Well sweetheart, you heard right. Metallica is pretty good man, especially if you just trying to get into metal. But you don't really seem like the metal type.”
At that, he saw your face flush, “I wanted to try something new, I guess.”
He smiled, “Hey no shame in that. I respect it actually.”
He looked around before pulling a tape out of his pocket, “Here, take this one so you don’t have to pay for it. Just give it back whenever.”
The album was Master of Puppets. It was new, considering the album had just come out, so it was in pretty good condition. 
Your eyes widened as you took it, “No, I couldn’t-”
But he just smiled, “I insist. Just give it back to me the next time you see me, alright? I’m returning my favor, from when you helped tutor me, remember?”
You nodded, smiling, “Well, that’s very generous of you, Munson, I appreciate it. And yes, next time I see you, I’ll give it back.”
. . .
And he did see you again. In a place that he least expected.
His band was playing at the Hideout, a not-so-popular bar in town. The crowd is maybe filled with four or five drunk old men, and the smell of cheap booze lingered in the air.
But I didn't care, he played his guitar until his fingers felt like they couldn't strum a single chord anymore. He played until he physically felt like he was going to fall off his feet.
 And when he finished playing, the one thing he least expected to happen, came true.
Applause was heard in the bar, from one pair of hands.
His eyes widened, seeing your pretty face beaming up at him.
You were seated in a booth, near the back of the bar. You were dressed in a normal, comfy outfit. But still, it made his lungs run out of fresh air.
 As you continue clapping, you looked up at him smiling, a genuine smile.
 He felt his heart do a flip.
 As the band started to pack up their equipment, you made your way over to him.
“Wow! You guys are so good!” 
Eddie’s eyes widened, where you really here for them?
As if you could read his mind, you said quickly, “I-I just came in because I was studying nearby and saw you playing. But wow! I didn’t even know you played!”
Eddie could feel his heart skip at your praise. 
“Ah, well. Thanks, sweetness, but we don't really get that much of a crowd.”
Eddie gestured around the bar where most of the men were now almost completely passed out.
You smiled, your eyes locking with his, “Maybe you’re just ahead of your time, Munson.”
He could feel his cheeks becoming hot, and he had to look away from your eyes so you wouldn’t notice. 
He coughed and laughed slightly, “Yeah..yeah I guess you could say that.”
Before you could respond, one of Eddie’s bandmates made his way over to you two, “Hey man, the vans all packed up,” he looked over at you, raising an eyebrow, “Sorry was I interrupting something?”
Eddie paused, but you shook your head, “No, I was just saying how good you guys were! You’re the drummer, right? You did really well! I’ll have to come back again and listen to you guys more.”
Gareth gaped at you, eye’s in disbelief.
You shuffled awkwardly, before saying, “Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name Y/N L/N, I think we had English together last year.”
As if broken out of a trance, Gareth nodded vigorously, “Um-yeah. English…yeah with Mrs. Kelly. Yeah, I remember, you were my partner for a project. Something about The Great Gatsby?”
You laughed a bit, and Eddie was suddenly very aware of his fist clutching his guitar pick so hard he felt a sting of pain in his palm.
“Yeah, I remember. We had to make a poster about the life-changing aspects of the 1920’s. Oh my god, it was so boring.”
You and Gareth laughed at a shared memory, and Eddie decided that he had had enough.
He tried his best to sound nonchalant, but he knew he just came off brash, “Here man, take these and get the van started.” Eddie handed him his keys, “I’ll be out in a sec.”
Gareth took the keys from Eddie, giving a knowing smirk as he walked away. Eddie could have even sworn he saw him wink at him as he walked off.
You shifted nervously from foot to foot, before Eddie finally piped up, “So um- you liked the show?”
Your eyes lit up, “Yeah, I really did! Oh my gosh, and you’re guitar playing? It was so sick!”
Eddie laughed, “Wow, you might be our first-ever fan, Y/N.”
You smiled up at him, lashes fluttering lightly, “Then I hope to stay your number one fan.”
He smiled at that. How cute, he thought.
Your eyes lit up, and you reached into your pocket, “I almost forgot!”
You pulled out a tape, handing it back to him, “You were right, the album was so good! I loved every second of it. Thank you for letting me borrow it.”
Eddie nodded, “Yeah I mean of course. I have a few other recommendations if you’re every not too busy-”
“I mean, I’m not busy right now?”
Eddie smiled, preparing fully to blow off his band mates, “Well then, sit down sweetheart.”
. . . 
You too continued to talk more and more after that, mostly out of school. And most of the time, you’d somehow find him.
And yet, he couldn’t get you out of his brain.
It had actually started to interfere with his life. He couldn’t write any new D&D campaign ideas because all he could think about was your smile, he couldn’t play his guitar because all he could think about was how you praised him that night at the Hideout.
He had even stopped making a commotion whenever you were around, choosing to stay quiet whenever you entered a room.
But that was because he normally couldn’t take his eyes off of you.
And yet, for the last few days, he had heard nothing from you. Not a nice small conversation, a “how are you”, not even a few glances at him. Nothing. 
He normally wouldn’t have cared, who was this girl? Some prissy prep? Why should he care if she come up to him and started talking to him again? 
But he did. He cared. He wanted to hear her sweet voice again. To watch her pretty eyes light up when she was working on homework. He wanted to see her smile up at him, to feel his heart beat out of his chest. He wanted desperately to walk up to her himself. 
But he stilled himself. He knew that he probably shouldn’t read into anything, he didn’t want to seem desperate. Even if he found himself falling for someone he desperately wish he didn’t.
He sighed, walking to his next class after lunch was over. 
He spent the whole period thinking about you, which wasn’t uncommon for him anymore, he’d usually think about you for most of the day.
He hated how he couldn’t just go up to you. Why’d he have to wait for you? Why couldn’t he just stop being a pussy and start a conversation with you?
But he knew the answer, it was because he was a coward. 
He sighed as the final bell rang.
“Finally,” he muttered under his breath as he left the school, walking over to his van.
But as he got closer, he saw a familiar face.
He felt his feet hiccup on the ground, the air flying out of his lungs.
But your face lit up as he approached, eyes sparling under the sun's light. Your beautiful face illuminated by the suns light made his heart momentarily stop working.
God, you were driving him insane.
This was definitely new, however, you would never approach him at school. He tried to calm himself down as he approached you, trying his best to become more nonchalant. 
You waved at him, “Hey Eddie!”
“Hey there sweetheart, what are you doing here?”
Your eyes faltered, looking down at your shoes. “Well- I,” you breathed in heavily, hands fidgeting lightly.
He raised an eyebrow, why were you suddenly so nervous? You had been waiting by his van after all.
“You alright, Y/N?”
Your eyes looked up quickly, you bit your lip shyly.
“I-um…I had a question…for you.”
He gave you a confused look, “Alright, shoot. I’m not gonna bite,” he said laughing.
Your hands shook and somehow you found your voice, “I was wondering if…maybe you’d wanna…go on a date?”
Eddie immediately felt like he had been shoved to the ground, the air in his lungs escaping him as he gaped at you. Eyes blew wide as he tried to comprehend what you had just asked him.
He, go on a date, with you? This couldn’t be real, like some sort of dream, or-
And then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw them. Your friends, pointing and laughing, at him.
Suddenly, it all made sense. 
Of course, you’d never ask him out, of course, you’d never actually have any sort of feelings for him. You avoided him like the plague at school, why would you ever want to be seen with him? And why right now? You would never go out  with a freak like him.
Of course, this was some sick joke, it was so obvious. He had just been so blind by his own feelings that he pushed reality aside.
And when they saw him staring back, your friends continued to point and laugh, giggling at his dismay. 
“Eddie?” Your sweet, soft voice called back to him. Your eyes were looking at the floor, leg bouncing anxiously, “You don’t have to say yes, I understand. It’s fine, I just wanted to be able to tell you that I-”
Eddie cut you off with a cold laugh.
“Whatever Y/N. You can drop it now.”
Your eyes shot up, looking at him confused, “Wha-”
Eddie shook his head, a mad grin plastered on his face, “I knew that someone like you couldn't be so nice. So what was it then, a dare? A bet? Come on sweetheart,” the nickname dripped with venom, “you don’t have to pretend anymore. I saw your little friends laughing over there. Don’t play so innocent.” 
He pointed over to your friends, watching as they stumbled back with laughter. 
Your eyes widened as you saw your supposed friends (the girls on the cheer squad that you would sometimes sit with at lunch) laughing at you two.
“Wait, Eddie, please I-”
But he shook his head, “I don’t want to hear it Y/N.”
He started walking away, towards the door of his van, you protested as he did so.
He snapped, turning around to you, “You know, I thought you were different, I thought you were nice. I thought…hell, I don’t know what I thought. But you seemed so genuine. But I guess that was all an act, huh? Should have known, yeah I should have known. Stuck up Y/N, always thinks she’s better than everyone around her. Such a bitch and everyone knows it,” he hated seeing the hurt in your eyes, but he kept going, “such a goddamn stuck-up priss, a goddamn people pleaser. An attention whore. I should have known better.”
He hopped in his van, slamming his door as he refused to listen to your pleas.
“Eddie stop! Really, I meant it!”
But he had already started driving away, leaving you in the dust of his tires and tears running down your cheeks.
. . .
Part two coming soon!
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babyleostuff · 6 months
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THE NIGHT WE MET
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・❥・ for the 2k followers event
summary: the one where you meet a handsome stranger in the art gallery who is as beautiful as the paintings
[ pairing: idol!minghao x fem!reader
genre: fluff
word count: 2k
warnings: a couple of swear words ]
song recommendation: the night we met by lord huron
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Your steps echoed through the empty hall, as you entered the last room of the building. It was too early for anyone to be rummaging through the art gallery, even for you. It seemed like the universe wanted you to be here, though. At least that's what you were telling yourself. It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that school had been putting you in an emotional spiral for some time now and you wanted to be anywhere but there. 
So, as usual, you ran away to the place you always knew would cheer you up. 
Looking around the room filled with paintings all covered in beautiful pastel colours, depicting people who looked like they didn't have a single care in their lives, you stopped at your favourite, the biggest out of the collection. Every time you looked at it you felt a sense of peace and... carefree? You weren't sure why, but the girl on the swing looked so free, like she could do anything. Like she was truly happy. 
You’d do anything to feel like she did for just a moment.
"Don't you think The Swing is a bit overrated?" You were so lost in thought that you didn't hear someone approaching you. You huffed, shaking your head. If he was going to insult the painting, why did he say anything at all? Jerk.
“I wouldn't say that,” you stated, not looking at the stranger. You could tell it was a guy and he sounded like he was around the same age as you, maybe a little older. But you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of getting under your skin, so you continued to stare at the painting.
He chuckled lightly, as if he sensed that you were annoyed, which made you dislike him even more. Why did he have to speak at all, couldn't he look at the painting and just walk away like any other normal person?
"What do you like so much about it, then?"
"And what about it bothers you so much?" You muttered. A moment of silence passed and you started to wonder if you weren't being too harsh. "I'm sorry if, um... I offended you in any way. That wasn't my intention, really," he said, and you could tell from his voice that he meant it. You sighed, rubbing your forehead. If this continued, your social interactions would drop to zero.
"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to be so rude. I'm just not in the mood," you said and turned to the stranger. You were going to smile so you wouldn't look like a total bitch, but instead of doing that, your lips twisted into an 'o' shape.
This stranger, or rather the most beautiful guy you've ever seen, was looking at you with a curious expression.
"I-I'm tired lately and it turns out I'm not very nice to other people either," you wanted to hit yourself because that was literally the stupidest thing you could have said. "And it turns out I'm not very nice to other people either"? Well done. 
However, the stranger didn't look like he cared too much about what you said, he just nodded as if he totally understood what you meant. "I feel the same way sometimes," he admitted, turning his gaze towards the painting. "That's why I'm here now," he added.
You had trouble taking your eyes off his profile without looking like a total creep, but you honestly didn't think guys like that even existed. He looked perfect in every way. And it wasn't like you fell in love with every handsome guy you saw - love at first sight was overrated, but there was something about him that made you unable to take your eyes off him. 
"I'm guessing you're not from around here?" You asked. For a second, surprise crossed his face and his eyebrows furrowed, and you began to wonder if maybe you shouldn't have asked. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have,” you said, and with every second he didn't say anything, you became more and more convinced that he was the one pissed now. 
"No no. It’s okay" he said and looked back at you. His dark eyes, hidden behind glasses that you were sure were fake, landed on you. "It's just not often that I meet people who don't know who I am," he smiled and adjusted the sleeve of his white cardigan that had slipped off his shoulder. You gulped as your eyes landed on his sculpted arm, his white sleeveless shirt doing nothing to cover it. 
"Should I know who you are then?" You asked, taking a quick breath to calm yourself down. You were sure you had never seen him in your life, though, not even on the internet. Was he some sort of influencer? Maybe a YouTuber?
He chuckled, ruffling his black hair as if you had said something funny. "God, that sounded so pretentious. No, of course you don't need to know who I am."
But now you wanted, no - needed to know who this handsome stranger was, the one who decided to talk to you, a random person in the art gallery. Although it wasn't like he had much of a choice considering you were completely alone here. 
"Let's say I'm an artist."
"That doesn't tell me much. What type of artist?" You asked curiously. He looked at you, amused. "I create art on stage."
"Can't you just tell me who you are?"
"Where's the fun in that?" Now you were the one who couldn't stop from laughing. You guessed you wouldn't get more than that from him. "But it's not like Magic Mike, with you getting naked on stage and all?" Where the fuck did you get that from?
Great, it was your official self-embarrassment day. “Not that there's anything wrong with that,” you cleared your throat sheepishly.
You expected him to give you some sort of sarcastic remark, but instead his cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he looked just as embarrassed as you were. "No, but I dance too."
“Ah, that's where the painted nails and earrings come from,” you pointed to his ears and he touched them as if to make sure his gold jewellery was still there. “Yeah.” 
For the first time, a comfortable silence fell between you and you honestly didn't want it to end. You no longer cared whether he liked the painting or not, but you didn't want him to leave. You felt a certain comfort in his presence that you couldn't quite explain.
"I like this painting because when I look at it I feel calm. Like I don't have any worries and the world is covered in nothing but pink colours, making everything more beautiful," you said, getting lost in your thoughts again. "I wish life was sometimes just about swinging on a swing.” You felt his eyes on you, but he didn't say anything, as if he was thinking about what you just said.
"I never looked at it that way," he said, tilting his head. 
“Sometimes you just need to look at things from a different perspective,” you smiled. For some reason you couldn't stop it when he was next to you.
“I'm Xu Minghao,” he extended his hand towards you, which you shook lightly. It was a miracle that you even managed to say your name without fainting, his hand still in yours. "So assuming you're not from here, how long will you be staying in town?” You asked, finally letting go of his hand, no matter how much you wanted to keep holding it.
But then… Why did he seem to hesitate when he let go of yours, too? Your stomach seemed to do somersaults and your heart was beating twice as fast.
"I’m leaving tomorrow," he admitted, though you couldn't tell from his voice whether he was happy or sad about it. Looking at him, his thoughtful face that didn't look as content as yours when you looked at The Swing, you had a sudden urge to hug him.
He had a comforting presence, but for some reason you felt that he himself needed some comfort. 
“Um, would you like to maybe,” you held out one of your headphones towards him. "We can listen to something,” you proposed. He nodded, so you walked up to him, heart beating like crazy, with the headphone still in your hand. “Do you have a specific request, Minghao?” You asked.
“Let’s listen to the last song you listened to.” 
Your hands touched again as you handed him the earbud, and you could have sworn Minghao let out a nervous breath then. It turned out the wire was too short for you to keep a big distance, so you stood side by side, shoulders brushing. You unlocked your phone and played your most recent song, rewinding it to the beginning. 
The night we met.
“How ironic,” you muttered, as the first rays of rising sun poured through the gallery windows. Minghao smiled gently, looking down at you, with the softest gaze anyone has ever looked at you.
You felt like the whole world stopped at that moment - it was just you, Minghao, and the paintings, which for the first time weren't the most beautiful thing in the room. 
I had all and then most of you,
Some and now none of you,
Take me back to the night we met.
You wondered how long it would take you to forget Minghao and he would become just a memory of the handsome stranger, like a ghost that wouldn’t stop haunting you. 
I don't know what I'm supposed to do,
Haunted by the ghost of you.
“You have no idea how glad I am that I came here,” he said so quietly you thought you misheard him. "Actually, no one knows I'm here," he snorted. "My friends will kill me when I come back," Minghao shook his head. You felt like you had crossed every line of being a stranger, so you laid your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes.
When the night was full of terrors,
And your eyes were filled with tears,
When you had not touched me yet,
Oh, take me back to the night we met.
“I'm sure they'll understand,” you said, just as quietly as he did. “Everyone needs to get away for a while now and then.”
You stood like that for the next three minutes, your head on Minghao’s shoulder, his hand dangerously close to yours, connected by the cable of your headphones, staring at the painting that meant two different things to the both of you. You dragged out the moment when the song had to end, you wanted to stop this moment forever. "When do you have to go back?" 
"I still have one," he looked at his watch. "two hours. Then I have to leave.” You nodded. No matter how much his words hurt you, you decided it was better to use the time you had left. "I know this may be a bit lame, but would you like to go for some tea?" You asked.
His face immediately lit up and his eyes sparkled as if you just gave a new toy to a child.
"You're reading in my mind. Of course I'd like to go," he beamed as he said it. Now he was even more handsome, if that was possible. "Let me guess," you tapped your chin thoughtfully. “You're a green tea type.” He chuckled, causing your shoulders to brush again.
"You are amazing." For a moment, there was no air in your lungs and no words in your mouth. How were you supposed to respond to something like that? 
“Let's go then, Mr. Xu,” he smiled and extended his hand to you and you gladly took it. 
This time, however, you didn't let it go.
Take me back to the night we met.
[...]
You opened Twitter because you knew that if you wanted to find someone, it was there. You clicked on the first video that appeared to you. "I don't understand but I love you" fancam. Interesting.
You sat up more comfortably on the bed, as the first tunes of the song started playing. So he was a singer, right? What did he mean by saying he did dancing too, though? 
But with every second that the video was playing, your eyes were getting bigger and bigger.
"What the fuck?"
taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @eightlightstar @itza-meee @immabecreepin @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @dkswife @marisblogg @whatsgyud @aaniag @jeonghansshitester @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @soul-is-a-strange-kid @ohmyhuenings
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whatsk-poppinhomies · 11 months
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Pairing : Banchan x F!Reader & Jisung x F!Reader TW : Bangchans : pregnancy ; morning sickness ; general angst ;. Jisungs : menstrual cycles ; really bad period cramps ; Han being an asshole ;. BOTH : FLUFF AT THE END I SWEAR!! Word Count : Bangchan (2.1k) Han (2.2k) TOTAL : 4.3k Request : This is so heavily requested!! I'm sorry for keeping everyone waiting!! Chan's specific theme was requested so I'm fulfilling that one right now with this! I will do the other members as well, I'll get to them, I promise!!
Bangchan
Nausea was usually something that you were able to overcome quite quickly, you’d just drink a little bit of water and lay down until the feeling subsided. It wasn’t something that would keep you from doing the chores that you promised Chan that you’d do, it definitely would never stop you from making sure dinner was ready for when he came back from the office. Chan worked hard, and although he always told you that you didn’t have to do all that you did while he was gone, you thought that it was the least you could do. 
Today in particular was by far the worst day, and your attempt at swallowing back the bile in your throat as you normally would when you’d start getting that queasy feeling in your stomach was proven pointless. It was a miracle that you were even able to make it to the bathroom in time to lean over the toilet, your throat burning from the acids that came up from your empty stomach as you heaved over the seat. 
Throwing up was awful, but throwing up literal bile was the worst. Your head was spinning and your stomach felt way too tight from the constant retching, the feeling almost making you throw up again. The taste in your mouth was just as bad, and you pushed yourself up off the floor to drink the water from the faucet out of the palm of your hands. Beads of sweat clung to your forehead and you felt absolutely exhausted just from the physical exertion it took to throw up. A quick nap wouldn’t be bad, you’d wake up before Chan got home and you’d have everything done by the time he got through the door. At least, that’s how you planned on things going this evening. 
Of course he didn’t expect everything to be done for him when he came home from work, he didn’t start dating you so that you could be a maid and a chef for him, he genuinely just loved being with you. That didn’t mean that he didn’t appreciate it though, and some nights he’d even look forward to it, especially on nights like tonight. The new song he was working on just didn’t seem to line up right, he couldn’t find any source of motivation, he had been at work for hours but he hadn’t gotten anything done. He was annoyed, he was upset with himself, he was hungry, and he was tired. 
“Babe, I’m home.” He called out, kicking his shoes off after walking through the front door, his eyes finally glancing up and looking around when he realized just how quiet it was. Not just that, but the smell of dinner wasn’t wafting through the house… There was no smell at all, which was strange. Your shoes were still in the doorway, perfectly straight right next to his. Maybe it’s just because he was running a little late and you didn’t want to make dinner too early… You must be in the bathroom or something. 
He continued in through the house, making his way to the bedroom and slowly opening it. Now, deep down he knew that he shouldn’t be mad, you were his girlfriend, not his servant, but something about the sight of you curled up underneath the blanket, surrounded by toppled over laundry piles… It was infuriating. You really just decided halfway through that you didn’t want to do it and you just… took a nap. 
“Must be nice…” He said, just loud enough to stir you from your sleep, your eyes slowly opening before repeatedly blinking to get the sleep out of them. “Look who finally woke up? Did you have a nice nap?” You quickly jolted up, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands before looking around, your mouth falling open into a small ‘o’ when you saw him standing there. “Was one basket of laundry too much for you? Huh?” 
You scanned over the piles of laundry, whispering out a curse before scooting across the bed towards them, trying to refold and situate them as quickly as possible. “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t feeling well. My stomach’s been acting up lately… I don’t know what’s wrong.” You murmured, grabbing out balls of clothes that were still tangled up in the basket. “I’m thinking… Maybe-” 
“Maybe it’s because you’re lazy?” He cut you off, and your head whipped up fast to look at him wide eyed. “I mean, good god, who falls asleep while folding one basket of laundry?” His head shook as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know what, just go back to sleep. Clearly you can’t even do the simplest of things.” 
“N-No, it’s…” Tears were already stinging at your eyes as you rushed to fold the clothes in front of you. “I just don’t feel good… I don’t know what’s going on… I…” The heavy breathing was causing you to get nauseous again, the feeling of being attacked by him for something that both he and you didn’t even understand. He didn’t even know what was going on, he was never home, and now he was coming down on you. 
He yanked the shirt out of your hand, throwing it back into the basket before picking it up off the floor and carrying it to the door. “You think I don’t get sick? I still have to work. You’re just being ridiculous.” He mumbled, dropping the basket on the floor right outside the door. “It’s whatever though, just go do what you do best. I guess I’ll make dinner tonight after working all day too. Fucking fantastic.” He kicked the basket across the hallway before stepping out and slamming the door behind him. 
The sound of kitchen utensils being slammed against the counter and the fridge being opened and shut forcefully could be heard throughout the house, the constant loud noises causing you to jump, and you wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep even if you wanted to. You didn’t want to though, you wanted to talk to him because whatever was going on was starting to scare you. You had never been this sick for this long, and you didn’t have any other symptoms, it was just the random bouts of nausea. 
Suddenly the smell of ramen was filling the air, and you would usually love the smell of it, but right now it had your stomach turning as every single scent of the different spices filled your nose. “Chan…” You groaned, kicking the blankets off of yourself and heading out of the room. The smell hit you harder now and you covered your mouth and your nose, gagging silently as you moved into the kitchen and turned off the burner much to Chans surprise. 
“The hell are you doing?” He muttered, lightly swatting your hand away to turn it back on, and now just the sight of the red broth boiling in the pot had you retching. “What’s your problem?” He grumbled, moving you to the side as he stirred the contents in the pot, and you couldn’t hold it in anymore, leaning over the sink and throwing up, the force behind it sending the bile shooting out of your nose. “Hey! Hey what’s… hey!” He shouted, turning off the burner once more and standing behind you, holding your hair away from your face with one hand as he rubbed your back. 
“Fuck…” You sighed, turning on the spicket and washing out your mouth before grabbing a napkin to blow your nose. “I think I’m dying…” You whispered, a shudder running through you as you dropped down to the floor, leaning your forehead against the cold metal of the dishwasher. Your entire face was covered in sweat and you could barely catch your breath, that alone scaring you even more and causing you to breathe even heavier. 
“C-Calm down, it’s going to be okay.” Chan said, dropping to his knees in front of you, his hands firmly cupping your cheeks to look at you. “How long have you been sick like this?” He asked frantically, his thumb quickly wiping the tears from your cheeks. Your shoulders shrugged as you mumbled out a soft “a while” in response. “Jesus Christ… okay. We’re going to the hospital.” 
You laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, hating the fact that you were there but thankful for the lack of IVs. The doctor had taken a couple blood samples and those were the only needles that you had needed for the time being. Now you just wanted to relax, and as tired as you felt, the words that Chan had said earlier had you keeping your eyes open. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were feeling this way? Hmm? You told the doctor it’s been going on for a month and a half almost… How could you not tell me?” 
“You’re always at the office… you’re always working…” You muttered, balling up the blanket in your hands. “I don’t like bothering you while you’re working. You’ve got more important things to do than dealing with me.” You sniffled softly, quickly rolling over onto your side to face away from him, tears trickling down from the corner of your eyes. 
“What are you talking about? You’re extremely important to me, babe.” He cooed, not even bothering to try to roll you back over to face him, instead scooting the rolling chair around to the other side of the bed so he could see you. “All you have to do is call and I’ll come to you, I love you…” 
Your lips pulled together into a thin line as you looked past him. “I should have just laid in bed… went back to sleep and died. It’s what I do best…” He sighed heavily, knowing that those words were only in your head because of what hr had said earlier. He already felt awful about saying them, but now seeing you here like this, he felt even worse. 
“I don’t want you to do that… I want you to be here with me forever…” He whispered, reaching out to caress your cheek, his touch feather light against your clammy skin. “I’m sorry I spoke to you that way earlier… But once we find out what’s wrong and when you get better, I’ll make it up to you. Okay? I promise.” 
The knock at the door came and the doctor peaked in, a wide smile on her face as she waved to both you and Chan. It was a strange expression considering you literally thought you were on the brink of death, maybe she was just trying to lighten the mood before delivering the news. “So the results came back.” Chan nodded his head, his breaths becoming quicker as he waited for her to continue, clearly impatient. “Congratulations. You’re pregnant.” 
You blinked a few times, your mind struggling to process the information that was just given to you. Chan was also shocked into a state of silence as he stared at the doctor who was still smiling just as bright. “A baby… Is making her feel like this?” He questioned, and she simply nodded, walking closer to the bed and pulling a sheet of paper off the clipboard she was carrying, the words morning sickness printed in bold letters across the top and underneath a lengthy article about it. “Well… how… how far along is she? Why is she throwing up so much?” 
The doctor giggled lightly as she slipped the clipboard under her arm. “She’s about 4 months right now. Morning sickness can come at any time and it can be just nausea, or it can be actually getting ill. It depends on the person. I’d recommend setting up an appointment with your OBGYN as soon as possible though, just to get you in the system.” She nodded her head, backing up towards the door. “Congratulations again. Whenever you’re ready, you can head on out and sign the release forms at the front desk.” 
Once she was gone, Chan swiveled the chair back in your direction, still slack jawed at the unexpected diagnosis. “Well… You’re not dying, so that’s good…” He said softly, and then, as if the news had fully processed in his mind, his lips slowly pulled up at the corners, his hand holding onto yours as his thumb brushed along your knuckles. “I know this is unexpected… But I know we can do this… I love you, I know already that I want to have a family with you… and there’s nothing wrong with starting a little bit early…” He chuckled softly, standing up and helping you to your feet. “We’re going to be fine. Let’s get home and relax though, take a nap, I think you’ve earned one.”  going to be right here with you the whole time.”
Jisung
“Pookie butt!!” Jisung called from the living room while you were in the bathroom, waiting for you to come out before he continued. He was standing in the doorway, pulling on his shoes, waiting for you to come out to say goodbye to him. Once you emerged from the hallway and ran over to him, his arms were immediately around your hips, his face nuzzling into your neck. “I’m gonna be sleeping at the dorms tonight, I’ll be working late and I know you hate when I come in at weird hours, you get all panicky and scared.” 
“I do not!” You retorted, pushing back against his chest lightly as you looked up at him, but the smile he was wearing never failed to soften you up immediately. His laughter had you giggling along with him, burying your face in his chest as his hands lightly squeezed your sides. 
“Don’t pretend like you didn’t come at me swinging a baseball bat one night because I came in at 3 in the morning. You almost killed me, pookie poo.” He teased, and you couldn’t even deny it because it was the truth, and while you had apologized profusely for it for an entire month, now you were able to laugh about it with him. “You gonna be okay though? You gonna be able to sleep without the best boyfriend in the world laying beside you? Hmm? Can you do that? Do you need me to come home tonight?” 
“I think I’ll manage.” You said between little fits of laughter, grabbing his jacket from off the hook and handing it to him before pressing a quick kiss to his lips, the one thing that would certainly keep him from teasing you for at least the next 30 seconds. “What time do you think you’ll be back home though? I’m gonna run to the grocery store and get some of your favorite snacks, nothing but the best for my hard working man.” 
His cheeks flushed a light shade of pink at your words, and he quickly kissed you again to try to distract you from noticing it. “This is why you’re the best girlfriend, best pookie poo, my one and only schmookem boops.” He nuzzled his nose against yours, clearly procrastinating, he hated having to leave you, especially if it was over night. “I’ll try to be back by the evening. We can eat some ramen and watch movies, hmm?” You nodded your head in agreement as you opened the door for him, giving him one last kiss before saying goodbye. 
That night you had started your period, and you had fallen asleep with your fingers crossed that the cramps wouldn’t be as bad as they usually were when you woke up. Of course, you weren’t that lucky, and when you did wake up in the morning, it was like your cramps were your personal alarm clock. You could barely even roll over to get out of the bed, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to walk, let alone walk through the grocery store. 
You hated getting your period, it was a pain in the ass in every single way, shape, and form. It had completely slipped your mind that you were due for it, and you didn’t have any pain medication to even slightly reduce the pain from your cramps. You were practically bed ridden, curled up in the fetal position under the blankets, your breaths labored as you tried to get through each one that came so frequently that you weren’t even able to get a break. 
Just the simple task of getting up to get a drink of water left you doubled over in the middle of the kitchen, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to breathe your way through it just to get to the couch. Tears pricked your eyes as every minute your stomach would tighten up and your back would ache and you’d try your best to maneuver into a more comfortable position, but it seemed that there was no way that you could lay to rid yourself of the pain. 
You had tried to call Jisung, but his phone went to voicemail each time, clearly busy with work and you didn’t want to keep bothering him. You hoped that at some point he’d just call you back before he got home and you could tell him what was going on and ask him to bring you some ibuprofen. The only thing you could do at this point was try to sleep through the pain. 
When the door unlocked, you slowly opened your eyes, smiling up to Jisung as he walked through the front door, kicking off his shoes and going over to you. “Looks like you’re already ready for movie night. I’ll just get the snacks, you stay comfy.” He made little finger guns as he made his way to the kitchen, the sound of cabinets opening and closing as he searched, and if he had answered the phone he would know what was going on, but you didn’t expect him to be so upset about the lack of snacks either. “Where are they?” He called from the kitchen, and you slowly sat up on the couch, looking over the back of it to see him. 
“I didn’t get to go to the store today.” You said, the bright fluorescent bulbs that hung in the kitchen burning your eyes as they glowed behind him, so you quickly laid back down, keeping your eyes shut to try to fight off the headache that threatened to come. “I’m sorry… I just… I’ve been cramping and my head hurts so bad… I couldn’t make it to the store.” 
“Really?” He posed the question, and you thought that for a second he would show some sort of concern like he usually would, but instead he came back into the living room, standing over you as you laid curled up in the fetal position on the sofa. “You really didn’t go to the store because of a couple cramps? There’s girl idols that literally do entire dance routines when they have their periods and you couldn’t walk? Boohoo. Come on, get up. Let’s get the snacks.” 
He reached out to grab your hand, but you quickly pulled it away, your eyes opening just enough to glare at him. You weren’t used to him being so insensitive, and maybe he had a bad day at work, maybe he couldn’t sleep well last night, but whatever the reason, he had no right to practically insult you for not feeling well. “No. I’m in pain, and if you want to go get your fucking snacks so bad, then go get them… But you can go right back to the fucking dorms when you’re done shopping.” You snapped, pulling the blanket up around your face and closing your eyes. 
“Fine!” He retorted loudly, his hands flying up in the air with annoyance as he walked away from you. “But I’m getting really fucking tired of you using your period cramps as a reason to get out of doing literally anything. It isn’t even that bad.” It was like he was trying to piss you off, and it was working really well. He didn’t know shit about the way you were feeling, and for him to assume that you were acting just to get out of going grocery shopping was infuriating. 
“Would you just get the fuck out already?!” You shouted, only for your words to be followed by the door slamming shut, your headache only worsened by the sound of it. You hadn’t even gotten your medicine, and now you were alone once again, and the cramps were only getting worse, and now you were in pain and upset. 
“Weren’t you literally just back home?” Bangchan questioned when Jisung walked through the front door, and he could only assume that the oldest was talking about the fact that he hadn’t even been gone for more than an hour, and when he had left he had excitedly announced that he was having movie night with you. “Did you get Y/N the medicine she needed? She sounded really bad over the phone…” 
Jisung stopped in his tracks on his way to his own room, turning to look back at Chan. “What are you talking about? She called you?” He inquired, slowly walking over to the couch where Chan was sitting. “What did she say?” Obviously he was worried about you, and the only reason he didn’t run back into the house and apologize was because he was embarrassed. He felt like shit for going off on you, and he knew that you’d both need a bit to cool down. 
“She called Minho, asked him to bring her some Tylenol or something. She was crying… He felt really bad so he already left.” Chan explained, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Jisung. “What did you do?” He could read Hans face clearly, and while he wasn’t one to be nosy, he did want to make sure that nothing too serious had happened. You made Jisung happier than anyone else ever could, and he didn’t want that to be ruined for his friend over something small. 
“M-Minho?” Jisung stammered out the name, his hands running through his hair as he grew even more anxious. “Why would he go? That’s… That’s not his place… H-He can’t do that.” He was becoming frantic as his fingers continued to run across his scalp, becoming tangled in the strands that got knotted. “And she was crying?!” 
Bangchan nodded slowly, knowing that nothing he said or did would be able to calm him down now that Jisung was like this. He was practically spiraling and the only thing he could even attempt to do was tell him that it would be okay, although he was sure he wouldn’t believe him. “Look, if you’re so worried, then just go-“ But he didn’t even get the chance to finish the sentence before Jisung was rushing out the door, his shoes barely even on as he hopped on one foot down the hallway to get to the elevator. 
Although he knew that Minho meant well by going there to help you, it felt like he had crossed a line that no friend should ever cross. Going over to his house with his girlfriend when he wasn’t there. It was uncalled for, and even if you had called Minho to get you some medicine, Minho should have contacted him first. It shouldn’t matter that he walked out the door on bad terms, at the end of the day you were still his girlfriend. 
He rushed through the front door and he didn’t know how to feel, seeing Minho sitting on the couch with you had anger rushing through his veins, but it’s not like the two of you were cuddled up or anything, you were on completely opposite sides of the sofa. “Was waiting for you to come.” Minho teased, turning his head as far as he could to look at Jisung who stood like a statue in the doorway. 
He completely ignored the older member, moving to squat down in front of you, his hands grabbing yours tightly as he looked up at you with glassy eyes and dampened cheeks. “Why wouldn’t you call me? Why did you call him? Are you going to leave me? I’m so sorry, baby… I didn’t mean what I said… Don’t leave me…” 
Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him, lifting your intertwined hands to brush the tears from his cheeks. “You were mad… we were mad at each other when you walked out… I didn’t think you’d come rushing back to bring me the medicine. That’s why I called him…” You chewed on your bottom lip as you watched his eyes grow wider, almost like a puppy who was just told they were misbehaving. 
“I was a big dummy… I know how bad your cramps get, I was being an ass. I shouldn’t have compared you to anyone because you’re just… you’re amazing and beautiful and there’s no one else in the world like you.” He kissed along your knuckles before brushing his thumb against them, giving you a sad smile. “Will you ever forgive me pookie schmooks?” 
A sound of disgust came from Minho as he quickly got up from the couch, his face perfectly expressing how he felt. “You two are the cringiest people I’ve ever seen in my life and I’m leaving. Get well, Y/N. Goodbye weirdo.” He said to both you and Jisung, practically running to the door as if he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. His reaction was just the icebreaker the two of you needed to get over the awkwardness that was felt. 
“Did you… Get your snacks?” You asked nervously, keeping your eyes down, wondering if he’d act out again just from the snacks being brought up, but his head shook in response before it was laid against your lap. “Do you want me to go get them? I think the pill is starting to kick in…” 
“Mm… no.” He hummed, his smile growing wider as he looked up at you. “I just want to cuddle with you and make sure you feel good and stay feeling good.. We can order in tonight… I just want to stay with you.”
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sc0tters · 9 months
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Addicted | Luke Hughes
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summary: when Alex and Trevor decide to voice their feelings about you it causing Luke to reevaluate his own.
song: Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran
request: yes/no
warnings: mention of underaged drinking, slight bit of swearing.
word count: 2.03k
authors note: this song has been calling my name since I put it on the playlist, and let me just saw that I’m not upset in the slightest. This picture of Luke made me laugh so much that I had to put it in. If you want to check out the rest of the celly you can do so here!
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Luke had been in love with you for years.
Thoughts of you consumed his mind from the moment he woke up until the moment he went to sleep. His heart rate would increase and his palms would grow sweaty as he watched you run across campus before you’d tackle him into a bear hug even though you saw him the day before. Every time you were in a more revealing outfit he’d stumble on his words like he had never spoken English before. Every year it was like half of his brain cells never made it to the lake house as all he could do was watch in awe as you’d walk around in shorts and your bikini tops.
But it was fine because you felt the same way as Luke.
The first time you realised this was after a ballet recital of yours when you were six and somehow Ellen convinced all three of her sons to come and Luke said that your tutu was pretty on you.
It like your whole world combusted in that moment as your semi toothless grin joined the conversation “you think so pookie?”
“I know so sparky.” Luke was never one to shy away from complimenting you and it made you swear he only did it to screw with you. The way your cheeks turned crimson red as you’d chew as the inside of your cheeks trying to hold in the inevitable squeal of joy at the compliment.
All of the scales seemed to increase when you went off to college, your friendship grew stronger as you remained his number one supporter, your love for him grew deeper as his eyes never left you at parties because other girls were never what he wanted. Clearly since everyone else could see this you would should have as well, right?
Wrong.
Totally absolutely positively wrong.
His love for you could have been written in big pieces of card in front of your face and it might as well have been like you were reading another language because you wouldn’t have believed it. The same thing went for Luke, every guy you turned down never made him feel more confident. In fact it usually made him feel worse.
You had the most athletic players flirting with you, the start football and baseball players all weren’t good enough for you. So what was to say that some hockey player would be what you wanted?
Luke was usually a confident man, he got that from being around Jack that it became a learnt trait. Yet you seemed to make him feel like a normal kid again. There was no need for the title of being drafted, or for his family name. To you he was just Luke or your pookie and it slowly ate up at him.
Just like every other year July meant it was lake house time. It was the third day of the trip and it was hotter than ever, literally the sun was scorching and you were out soaking it all up. Your bikini was the smallest one in your closet and it avoid the tan lines your top string was undone as your stomach lay on your towel.
Luke had been enjoying the sight he really was, your feet occasionally bounced as you had your favourite songs blaring through your AirPods and it was a sight that made his mouth water.
But when Trevor and Alex walked back in from the porch and started talking about you it caused the youngest Hughes boys mood to turn for the worse.
Trevor shook his head as he grabbed a drink from the fridge “I don’t know how you haven’t made a move yet Hughesy,” he confessed as he cracked the cap of the bottle open.
Alex nodded in agreement “huh?” Luke furrowed his eyebrows as he knew that they were talking about you.
The Ducks player smiled “y/n is out of this world,” he pointed out as none of the older boys were stupid, you were a pretty girl and they all knew it.
Except Trevor was the only one who ever let you know about it, the constant flirting that came from his lips during this lake house trip. It seemed you being over the age of eighteen let you move away from the title of only being Luke’s friend.
Words of warning wanting to tell Trevor to fuck off were desperate to leave Luke’s mouth yet they couldn’t as you walked into the living room.
An oblivious smile formed on your face “what are y’all talking about?” You asked as you reached into the fridge to grab the container of cut up mango that you had made earlier that morning.
Trevor let his outstretched hand reach into the container as he took a piece “just about going for a ride on the boat later,” he lied as his eyes never left your mouth as some of the fruit juice dribbled down your chin landing on your bikini top “hope there is room for me on that boat,” there always was room for you but you were enjoying flirting with Trevor.
Sure you weren’t attracted to him like that but he certainly wasn’t harsh on your eyes “for you sparky? Always.” The nickname was one that you had picked up when you were five, you learnt what electric currents were when you found two wires in Quinn’s room and decided to place them together. The eldest Hughes couldn’t help but laugh when he walked in to see how your eyes lit up like you were in a candy store.
Luke scrunched his nose at the smile you sent the ducks player as you continued you eat your mango but when you pushed your hair behind your ears letting your chest now be on full display the Hughes boy could no longer take it “put this on,” he mumbled as he held out his baseball jersey.
You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked white fabric “okay?” You shrugged as you took the Tigers home jersey and slotted your arms into it.
But that didn’t seem to be enough for Luke as he came over to you and began to button the buttons up “Luke!” You groaned saying exactly what Alex and Trevor were thinking as they sent the boy a glare “perfect,” Luke smiled as he softly pulled your hair out of the jersey letting it lay flat behind your back.
His dagger eyes were sent to both Alex and Trevor the entire day, even on the boat when Quinn was teaching you to drive it and even when you were on Luke’s lap.
“Am I missing something?”
Your question pulled Luke out of his thoughts as he looked at you “what?” He asked as he let his fingers draw over your leg.
It irritated you as you could see that something seemed to be going on between Luke and the two older boys “you seem mad at them,” you sighed as your lips formed into a pout.
Sure it might have been childish to be upset but Luke usually told you everything “it’s nothing,” he shook his head causing your fingers to grip at your can of seltzer.
Yet your pokes didn’t go quiet like he’d hoped “Luke-” your soft words were only met with a glare “just drop it okay?” His complaint was only met with your wide eyes.
Thankfully at that time you were in need of a new drink. So you got up to get yourself a refill.
The boys watched in amusement as you walked back into the house “you really fucked that one up Lukey,” Trevor teased only adding to the boys anger.
Luke clenched his fist “you need to shut the fuck up dude!” He warned as he got up as he pointed his finger at the older boy.
It seemed like this was all bubbling up over today “just go ahead all to her,” Quinn’s voice was soft as he knew that you were on his brothers mind.
The youngest Hughes boy took a large gulp as he remembered that he had lashed out at you first.
Your head remained in the fridge as you looked at the different options for drinks.
The cool air on your face made you grow calm. It was soothing as you tried to not cry, you knew you were overreacting but all of Luke’s actions today seemed to weigh up on you in this never ending battle that you had created based on the feelings you felt towards the boy. Your thoughts were pulled away from your brain as the sound of the glass sliding door shut.
You turned around and was already faced with Luke “Jesus Christ!” You cursed as you clenched your chest.
Luke’s face softened as he looked at you “sorry,” he apologised as he crossed his arms.
He wanted to reach out to hug you “why are you so mad at them?” You asked as you watched the hockey player pick at the bracelet on his wrist.
All of the explanations that went through his mind all didn’t sound valid “it’s stupid,” that was the honest truth, he knew he was over reacting but that didn’t make it any less irritating to deal with.
You scoffed as you sat on the counter “that never stopped you from telling me,” you pointed out as most nights were spent with Luke in your bed laying his bed on your chest as you combed your fingers through his hair.
The way your lips were plump and your cheeks were tinted with a hint of red from the sun that had landed on in them made you look so very kissable.
But Luke remained stood where he was “they think you’re hot,” he explained with his voice barely a whisper as though he was ashamed to admit to it.
Your laugh made him feel better “do they now?” It was a clear stroke to your ego as you watched the boy grow embarrassed.
It shouldn’t have been nearly as amusing as it was “you thinking I’ve got a new best friend to get?” You joked causing him to furrow his eyebrows with annoyance.
Luke situated himself between your legs “‘ts not funny,” he mumbled as he rested his head on your shoulder.
A smile found its way onto your face “it’s pretty funny,” you nodded as you hooked your fingers under his jaw forcing him to look at you.
Your eyes were soft as they studied every feature on his face as though it was the first time you’d seen his face “it doesn’t matter if they think I’m hot,” you explained as you watched his face grow confused “only matter if it comes from a guy who hasn’t even said it.” You added as your tongue darted between your lips.
The hockey remained as clueless as ever when you let your thumb run along his jaw “who?” He was almost asking because he needed to finally hear that dose of reality of who it was that went through you mind in the way you went through his.
A moment of silence was heard so loud that a penny dropping wouldn’t even be noticed “looking right at him.” You confessed causing his eyes to widen.
It was like he was at a crossroads as the ball was now in his court. Truly nothing went through his mind as he was desperate to find the right course of action. The girl he had loved for all of these years, the girl he had longed for to be more than just friends, the girl was you and here you were with all of your cards out waiting for him.
Yet there he was frozen in time.
Again it seemed like it was your turn once more. So you leaned forward as you kissed him, it was brain meltingly perfect. Like that moment you do something that feels so good it makes your brain all hazy, like that.
Luke pulled away with his smile as his finger ran over your lips “what’s got you all smiley?” You asked as you cocked your head.
“I got the girl of my dreams.”
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mrmiserymushroom · 8 months
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one of my personal favorite tropes it’s the “well, we are really close and get along pretty well! they’re one of the best people in the world and one of my best friends. We hook up and good he fucks me so well and sometimes i fantasize about getting married but it’s not like i’m head over hills for them! NO NO NO NO NOPE. NO HOMO!!! TOTALLY BUDDIES BEING BUDDIES! but oh lord if you touch them I SWEAR TO FUCKING-” and i am was absolutely enchanted that this new episode got all of that!!
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I also got to understand fizzy a lot more and now he (and maybe Ozzie) is my favorite character after Stolas!
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I love how he and Blitz made up after a long time, even though I thought it was kinda quickly (or maybe i was just way too anxious and excited about my hyperfixation getting a new episode). I loved to see Blitzo getting to fix his mistakes and apologizing. I loved seeing him and fizzy talking and making jokes and arguing bc they’re so goddamn funny and have so much connection! Their friendship got my heart warm :]
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I was a bit heartbroken about Stolas and how worried he was about his situation with Blitz. but I’m happy he seems to have a friend who will help him a bit and seems he can count on!
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I LOVED FIZZAROLLI’S SONG OMG???? it was so yummy and nice and coool and AARSHAJDJAKSKAKSDKS
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overall i REALLY loved this episode! Helluva Boss’s have been one of my hyperfixations and helped me through some really hard times. dunno if this is normal but i but i got so happy and excited about my hyperfixation having new content i actually got depressed and needed to take some SOS and go for a walk???? helloooo whatever the GAD and Depression are doing to me this is one of the craziest.
I get really REALLY insecure with talking about Helluva Boss on my socials and with anyone in general since i know the creator of it has some bad reputation and did really shitty things and the Hazbin Hotel series is pretty much hated for what i can see.
yeah i was afraid of what people would think about me if i tell them i hyperfixate on Helluva Boss and worried if they would thought i agree with any of the bad stuff that goes behind the creator and stuff.
so i just thought it would be a good idea if i just posted about it here (since a lot of people liked my helluva boss drawings) and take this stuff out of my chest to calm down my post anxiety attack. yeah thats it thanks if you read until this point :]
so yeah one of my favorites episodes so far!!! <3
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dwonfilm · 2 months
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There’s no life after you. | Dean Winchester x Reader (one-shot)
Summary: Dean felt like he had no other option than to push [Y/N] out of his life completely. When he and Sam find a case in her hometown, he’s hit with all of the emotions he’d tried for so long to bury.
Warnings: swearing, mild-angst, mostly sadness and ending with fluff.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Flashbacks are in bold.
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Dean and Sam had found a case in Reno, Nevada—a city that had a lot of memories particularly for the older Winchester. Sure they’d worked a dozen or more cases around here over the years but that wasn’t the type of memories that kept playing on his mind. He only wished it was that simple. Sam had opted to take the backseat, needing some extra rest on the drive and Dean usually drove his precious ‘67 impala anyway. Ever since they’d found this case, the eldest Winchester was uneasy. Not because it was anything special, from the details online it seemed like it was just another vamps nest—maybe even just a handful travelling together.
No, what began to plague his mind was something that cut much deeper than that. All he could think about was you.
It had been roughly two years since he’d last seen you. Every other second of the last year and half had been him fighting the urge to reach out, knowing two things for certain. One: you’d be far better off without him holding you down. Two: even if that wasn’t the case, he’d really hurt you the last time you spoke and despite how much he missed you.. you’d likely never speak to him again—but that’s what he’d wanted right? You to move on, you to live a life that wasn’t plagued by the dangers of all things supernatural. Find a good man, a normal man, settle down.. get married and have kids. Not have to worry about tending to someone who had spent his entire life broken. Shaking his head to try and rid himself of these thoughts, it seemed the universe had other plans.
It seemed at some point in the drive his playlist had changed and delved into the ‘divorced dad rock’ side of things—the first few notes of what he recognized as a Daughtry song began to play. Seemingly just as they’d finally crossed the state lines into Nevada, the lyrics began..
“Ten miles from town and I just broke down, spitting out smoke on the side of the road. I’m out here alone, just trying to get home to tell you I was wrong but you already know. Believe me I won’t stop at nothing to see you so I’ve started running.”
Now Dean knew exactly what song this was and it damn sure wasn’t helping with his desperate need to stop thinking about you. He reached out to change the song but when the chorus hit, he stopped and his finger merely hovered above the button.
“All that I’m after is a life full of laughter, as long as I’m laughing with you—and I think that all that still matters is love ever after, after the life we’ve been through. ‘Cause I know there’s no life after you.”
It was as if the song was delivered down by the hand of God himself, which only made the ache in Dean’s heart that much worse. He’d been in pain ever since he left two years prior, but he had no right to be—he knew that. After all, the reason he didn’t have you by his side was because he left. It was because he walked away. Deeply he’d sigh as the next verse again would line up with the exact thought in his head.
“Last time we talked, the night that I walked burns like an iron in the back of my mind. I must have been high, to say you and I, weren’t meant to be and just wasting my time. Oh why did I ever doubt you? You know I would die here without you.”
Death had truly paled in comparison to how he felt seeing the look in your eyes. All of the pain, the hurt as he watched you break in front of his very eyes. You’d been together three years in total, but what you didn’t know—what he refused to tell you is that his worst fear was becoming a reality. Lucifer had threatened you in order to make Dean comply with his demand. He’d figured out the only way to get to the elder Winchester was through you, seeing as Lucifer himself needed Sam for his own personal vendettas. It wasn’t long after this that Dean knew he had to get as far away from you as possible. All the pain and suffering he’d endured in his lifetime would be nothing if your death was due to him. He couldn’t live with that and more importantly, you deserved more than that out of this life.
“All that I’m after is a life full of laughter, as long as I’m laughing with you—and I think that all that still matters is love ever after, after the life we’ve been through. ‘Cause I know there’s no life after you.”
Sam began to stir in the backseat, which he’s caught sight of through the rear view mirror and so Dean quickly changed the station. He’d use Metallica specifically to shift the mood before his brother woke up and started asking too many questions. Questions that Dean wouldn’t have the answers to and he was already battling his mind to keep it all at bay.
Gripping Baby’s wheel tightly in his hands, he’d continue to path to Reno. About fifteen minutes later was when Sam’s eyes actually opened. “Mornin’ sleeping beauty.” Dean said with a (fake) smile on his face. “Ha-ha, very funny. Wait.. how long was I out? Are we in Nevada already?” He asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and noting their desert-like surroundings. “I don’t know, hours Sammy. Yeah we’re in Nevada—about an hour or two ‘til Reno.” Just saying the name of the city was enough to have him nervous again. There was a brief bit of silence between the brothers, Sam had a thought on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t know whether he should say it. Dean’s eyes had fixated on the road ahead and he sensed that his younger brother was gonna bring it up—bring you up, he’d always really liked you. Besides that, he could always seem to tell when things were troubling Dean despite his best efforts to hide it. “You know you could-“ Sam started but knowing it was coming, the elder brother immediately shut it down. “Sam, don’t. Please. I can’t and you know that.” Dean’s voice was shaky and that let him know that he’d already been thinking about things far too long. “You’ve been thinking about it. I know you, man. You think I didn’t see the look on your face when I told you we had something in Reno?” He sighed, knowing that his older brother was struggling with this didn’t make him feel good but he also knew it was making Dean feel worse. “Sammy, please.. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”
Sam would shake his head but he let it go, rehashing this with Dean while he was attempting to drive wasn’t gonna end well for either of them. Not to mention an hour and a half of odd tension in such a small place wasn’t ideal either. Instead, the younger brother’s eyes averted from the front of the car altogether as he turned to gaze out the window next to him. Sighing partially in relief and partially from the lingering thoughts, Dean would fully place his attention on the road and on the directions to this particular motel. They needed to get in, solve this case and get out before he did something he’d been trying for quite some time not to do.
Surprisingly this case was a little more difficult to follow through on, these vampires were incredibly elusive and their nest wasn’t the easiest to find. However, after a couple days lingering around they finally located the nest and were able to kill the three vamps that had been killing the locals. As it had become part of the job, Sam and Dean went out to a local dive bar to celebrate the victory—but Dean was trying to do more than that. He was trying to drown the lingering thoughts of you with whiskey, swallowing the liquid and letting it gently burn his throat. This would end up having the opposite effect and only made him think of you more. Over the first hour and change the brothers spent at the bar, three separate girls tried to hit on Dean but he didn’t really pay them any mind. Around the two hour mark the elder of the brothers decided he needed some air, getting up and walking outside. Dragging his dominant hand over his face he was doing anything to cling to that last bit of pride that he had. You were better off and he knew that, but every day that had been lost it was eating at him slowly. He needed a distraction and so he walked over to his precious car, getting into the driver’s seat and sighing. One flick of the wrist and the lights would come on, the radio coming in clear as day: it was that goddamn song again.
“You and I, right or wrong, there’s no other one. After this time spent alone it’s hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind, thinking about the better times.. must’ve been out of my mind. So I’m running back to tell you.”
Again it seemed like the universe had intervened and Dean Winchester was far too drunk to fight it. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes and right now, all that he needed was you. He opened up the driver’s side door and got out just to come face to face with Sam, who had been worried when he couldn’t locate his brother in the bar. “What is it Dean?” He asked, noting the emotional state it was clear he was in—confused but not entirely. It wasn’t like him to be so open with his emotions, but you’d helped him with that. “I need to see her, Sammy. I can’t do this anymore.” There was enough emotion in his voice for his younger brother to know what he meant. Nodding Sam would approach the driver’s side door. “I’m driving, we’re not risking it with you.” Dean normally would protest but right now? All he needed to do was get to you. It didn’t matter how, he just needed to fill the void that he’d put there himself.
“All that I’m after is a life full of laughter, without you god knows what I’d do.”
Dean’s eyes were technically gazing out the window, but that’s not what he saw. His mind was flashing different images in rotation—one happy memory with you followed up by something he’d done to chase your memory away after he’d run away.
“All that I’m after is a life full of laughter, as long as I’m laughing with you and I think that all that still matters is love ever after—after the life we’ve been through. I know there’s no life after you.”
It seemed fast, but it had probably been about thirty minutes of time that had passed. Not that you lived very far at all, if you were even still at the last address the Winchesters had for you—Sam took a longer route hoping that Dean would sober up a little more before talking with you. Anyone would be able to smell the whiskey on him at this moment, but his words needed to be coherent if there was any chance of you hearing him out. It seemed that he had sort of the same idea because even when the impala had pulled into the driveway, he just sat there. “What if she doesn’t wanna talk?” Dean asked, somber tone to his voice as his eyes remained fixated on the front door of what he hoped was still your home. Mind racing almost as fast as his heart. “Dean, if I know anything about [Y/N], she’ll at least listen—even if she’s incredibly pissed and still hurt.” Sam reassured his older brother. Dean sighed again, not wanting to waste another second and also wanting to see have some alcohol in his system for this conversation. Slowly he opened the passenger side door and stepped out onto the asphalt driveway. Gently closing the door, it had still alerted a dog inside the home who was barking just a little bit every couple of seconds. He carried himself up the few cement steps, turning to see the front door closer than ever. Now more memories of the last time he was here were coming back.
“Dean, please.. why are you doing this? You can’t possibly just have stopped loving me, that’s not..” Her sobs were breaking his heart but he knew this was something he had to do. “Why are you walking away from this? From us? After everything we’ve been through.. after the life we’ve built from the ground up.. you’re just throwing it all away.” She felt as if there was a fire in your chest, she’d been sobbing so intensely for what seemed like forever. Mascara and eyeliner were smudged and made a mess of the space underneath her eyes. “Say something, Dean—please.. why are you pushing me away? What did I do?!” Every word became far more intense and the actual words were hard to discern from the sobs. Dean had just been staring at the floor since the words left his mouth. Three years next to her and he never imagined this day would come, but if you died just so Lucifer could get one up on him? He’d never survive. He’d never be able to carry the weight of your death or your blood on his hands—so this was the only way you got to live a long and happy life without him putting you in harm’s way. “[Y/N/N] I.. I just don’t think we were meant to work out. I’m sorry, I just-“ he was cut off by her intense sobs hearing him saying it again. “Please Dean.. don’t do this.. whatever I did wrong, whatever’s not working we can fix it. Please..” She pleaded, voice already hoarse from the crying and the wailing. “Sweetheart you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me, I’m just, not made out for this relationship stuff.” He’d barely lifted his gaze again to meet her own, but only for a second. Seeing her like that was too hard for his heart to bare. “Why Dean.. please.. it’s been three years. Three years of this and we can talk about it. Whatever it is we can move past it together, don’t you love me anymore?” She sobbed out, arms wrapped around her own chest as Dean looked up to her face and met her gaze one last time. “Honey, I’ll love you ‘til the day I die.” Sighing he turned to walk out the front door, closing it and never looking back. He couldn’t look—his heart had already shattered.
Now here he was again, roughly two years later, taking the last few steps to fully stand at your front door. Lifting his hand which had formed a loose fist, he’d knock three times upon the wooden material of the door. There was no answer and no sign that anyone was home other than the dog barking that he’d heard moments prior. Dean was about to turn and walk back down the pathway when he heard the doorknob turning after the lock clicked out of position. “Do you know how late it is, what do you nee—“ her eyes widened when she realized who had just knocked at her door. “D-Dean.. what are you..” she felt her bottom lip quivering. Dean could tell this was the last thing she’d ever thought would happen. “Hi, sweetheart. I-“ before he could get another word out of his mouth, he was met with a harsh slap to the side of his face. His eyes fell as he collected his thoughts, waiting before speaking again. “I deserve that. I deserve that and so much more. [Y/N/N] I’m so sorry.. I’m so fucking sorry.” He got out, not being able to look back up at her just yet. “You’ve got some kind of nerve showing up here, this late at night.. Dean you broke my heart and you stomped on it to boot. Why do you think after two whole years that I’d listen to whatever the hell you have to say?” It was obvious that there was sadness and hurt laced within her voice, more so than the anger she’s trying to push forward. Slowly his head tilted back into its usual position and his eyes found hers again. “I know there’s no life after you.” It was all he could say in that second and her expression softened, before she’d built the wall back up. “You came all the way to quote a Daughtry song?”
“No, I’m quoting that damn song because for the three days Sam and I have been in Reno I’ve heard it everywhere. My car, in a store, hell in my head—[Y/N] I’ve been trying every day since I left to push your memory from my mind. I wanted so badly to forget about you and know that you were free to have a normal life. I also know that I’ve got no right to stand on your doorstep telling you how much pain I’ve been in since the second I walked out this door two years ago when this whole fucking thing is my fault.” He paused, tears slowly falling as he tried to blink them away. “[Y/N] I was afraid. I was so afraid.. I couldn’t lose you like that-“ Again he was cut off but just by her words this time. “Dean you did lose me, you pushed me away—fuck you pushed me out of your life altogether. You’re absolutely correct, you don’t have any right to stand here talking about your pain. I didn’t eat, I barely slept, for weeks after you left. All I did was lay on that couch and sob. Endlessly. After I couldn’t physically sob any more I thought, there has to be some kind of monster or witch doing this and so I researched for weeks and still barely ate and slept only a fraction more. All I came up with was dead end after dead end and so I finally had to realize the truth.” She sobbed out, pausing to try and steady her own voice. “You chose to leave on your own.” She’d opened her mouth to continue talking but now it was his turn to sob out, which caught her completely off guard. “He made me feel like I had no other choice..”
Now you stood with a perplexed look on your face as tears were streaming down your cheeks. “What.. who-“ before the question could even fully leave her lips, the man she loved began to speak again. “Lucifer. He needed Sammy, you know all that one true vessel shit, so he couldn’t hurt me that way. He knew any threat he put to Sam wouldn’t stick because deep down I knew that Lucifer needed Sam alive and well to complete whatever sick and twisted plan he had thought out.” She felt both her heart and her stomach drop, figuring out exactly where this was going. “[Y/N] he said he’d kill you and not think twice. I couldn’t.. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you died all because I love you. I wouldn’t be able to breathe knowing that your death was my fault and I’d never get your blood off my hands.” His confidence had wavered, the alcohol mostly wearing off. You sighed, a silence falling over the two of you as you attempted to process what he’d just said. “Dean.. why didn’t you just talk to me? Tell me what he said and we could’ve talked about it.” She asked, the venom gone from her words and a sadness settling over them. “I was scared. I didn’t know how to admit that I was scared especially to you, I’m the one that was supposed to keep you safe. I know that’s not an excuse and I’m not trying to excuse me hurting you like I did—that image of you hugging yourself and crying the hardest I’d ever seen someone cry has haunted me all this time. I never wanna hurt anyone but I damn sure never wanted to hurt you.. at all—let alone like that..”
Again a silence fell between them, it felt like a lifetime between their words and the action she’d finally take. Stepping forward she used both of her hands to cup his face, both having glassy hues due to all the tears. “I forgive you, Dean.” She said almost in a whisper. He felt his heart racing and he eyes searched hers for any sign that this might not be true. Seconds felt like hours but he couldn’t find any sign of deception and instinctively, he plunged forward to connect his lips with her own. It had caught her off guard but she was returning the kiss with an explosion of passion. They chased the other’s lips in a back and forth motion until they both couldn’t breathe. After pushing the limit a little further they’d separate but remain forehead-to-forehead. “I know there’s no life after you.” She spoke in a soft tone before pulling Dean inside of her home and re-locking the door.
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