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ellesliterarycorner · 3 years

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What My Followers Want to See More of in Female Characters

My favorite thing in my WIP is all the badass female characters I have. I love writing about the bonds, friendships, relationships, and rivalries between them. It makes my little heart so happy! And, I will be the first person to admit that I hadn’t even thought of some of the things you guys suggested on our little instagram poll, but I cannot wait to add some of them to my story! Even though we’ve made so many leaps and bounds with the way female characters are portrayed, I still think we’ve got a long way to go, and if you guys include half of the stuff you suggested in your stories, then I think we’re gonna be okay. Once again, I didn’t change anything that you guys wrote, so there are gonna be some repeats on the list, but this time just because the list was getting so long, I did take out a few things if I saw that several other people had suggested it!

“Nerdy” or sporty girl who gets a love interest without a makeover or changing herself

super girly femme characters shown as a complex person

making her own decisions, if good or bad

a strong female character without a tragic backstory

gender non conformity!!

Being openly children and not changing her mind about it

chubby and flaws and not having a crush with every cute boy they see

girlie girls who are still really powerful

self reliance but still having emotion, not being ice cold but not needing a a man

lesbians who’s entire character arc isn’t about them being a lesbian

having body insecurities eg wanting to be flat-chested

women in politics and women that have classic “man” as well as “woman” characteristics

independence

be less oblivious lol and more like real people who pick up hints

not dead caring moms.

comic relief female characters

not minding about liking “girly” things/ having a bunch of friends who are boys but there is no romance between them

being a mother doesn’t mean giving up ur dreams and settling for less,

having mcs that actually make smart decisions

a bad ass character that loves kids and wants to have them in the future

not taking abuse cause they think it’s love

ball gowns and pretty stuff for themselves and not for a mission or anything

more bold female characters since many females are shown as shy

having a big appetite

female characters who can be cool without having to wield swords

willingness to do domestic work with a cheerful heart

women whose strength is their intelligence

women who are not afraid to be feminine or strong

strong mother figures

girls that are the lead in their relationship over the boy

more actual girly interests

the women you least expect to sing the best

strong women who like feminine stuff

being happy without a romantic relationship

black females being protected or vulnerable for once

ending up single

hanging out with male friends with no romantic subtext

females who aren’t super pretty

ultra femininity (pink, dresses, glitter, makeup) that isn’t seen as bad/evil/weak

allow them to look up to/admire male peers rather than feel inferior or as if they have something to prove

traditional “femininity” isn’t regarded as weak! Can cook/sew/clean and it’s normal : )

Female characters who are funny and make quips

soft, kind women, who are still powerful. I don’t like the mean strong girl stereotype : (

Not forced strong women. Just relatable and human ones. We all have strengths and weaknesses

less insecurities. Yes, we all have those, but it’s becoming stereotypical, mostly in YA

I want them to be strong without being upright bossy

strong women who also embrace their feminine side

a girl with menstruation

ego actions- I feel like only male characters can throw ego actions while fem characters are classified selfish

nonbinary female characters

has a twin

sarcasm and general impoliteness without making them the bady guy

them being warriors or soldiers and that’s normal, nobody questions it

villains and manipulating

autistic female characters

being single throughout the story. Some people like being single, thank you very much

not being the perfect pretty little thing. Having an interesting personality and thoughts, dreams outside of relationships and being a badass

a morally grey female character like y r those only men

girls and women in healthy relationships with personalities aside from their S/O

girls who can be strong and confident while still being emotionally vulnerable

also, girls who own huge “aggressive” dog breeds

groups of girls doing really impulsive things together like all guy friend groups do

strong, but not jerks about it and not looking down on things like sewing/cooking/etc

shyness that doesn’t need to be “fixed” or overcome

well written romances- straight and gay (ie not ones that objectify one partner or the other)

“strong female characters” who are gentle and caring! Tough doesn’t mean heatless!

women who care more about the plot than their inconvenient love life

girls who empower other girls and don’t play into internalized misogyny

i’d love to see women putting forward their ideas and having their voices heard more : )

Strong in their own way, not just hands on fighting stuff. Like mentally strong

less who are arrogant and rude to the male protagonists who they fall in love with anyway

More LGBTQ+ women!

Oh and more female protagonists who stay single

being average looking, not a hot model and being okay with it

Not falling for “bad boys”

saving herself or another character from a dangerous situation

not wanting marriage or children and people being okay with it

not obsessed with looks

being good at math and sciences

not being sexualized constantly (or at all)

being just friends with straight male characters

being like other girls

having a life outside of romance

to not need a man, but also not to be a stereotypical “bad girl, I don’t need man” authors need to find a medium between the two

drinking, swearing, anything deemed “masculine”

confident women who embrace both their femininity and masculinity

empowering other women

somebody with variety of interests and skills that are shown to be important to her badass female characters who are genuinely kind/even loving

strong women who don’t discredit the model of the ideal woman of the time in historical fiction

older women protagonists! I’d love to read about middle aged female heroes

females that aren’t afraid to be themselves

strength without being a “baddie” or at the expense of others

emotional sensitivity that isn’t linked to mental illness, men, or a weakness in character

a chaotic neutral female protagonist

physically strong/skilled female characters that remain feminine and aren’t femme fatales

female characters that don’t particularly fit into a trope as that’s not really realistic

#writing women #writing female characters #creating characters #characters #writing characters #writing resources #writing ref #writing reference #writing references #writing tips #writing tip #writing advice #writing #writers on tumblr #writblr #writersofig #writers of ig #writersofinstagram #writers of instagram

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jeonronwoo · 3 years

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𝐑𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 → 𝐗.𝐃𝐉

Pairings: Sir!Xiaojun x Princess!Reader.

Genre: Royalty AU, Angst, Fluff.

Warnings: Mentions of degradation from parents, talk of minors marriage, a pervert old fiance.

Word Count: 3.5K

↬ “Being a princess isn’t easy, you have to follow the traditions your ancestors established, fated to marry a man who is almost your father’s age making you feel disgusted. Would your knight in shining armour save you or will you face the same fate as of every other princess?”

a/n: i actually didn’t plan on writing this... but of the scenario just flowed in my head and i didn’t even realize that i was writing it until i finished. this also dedicated to my friend, i hope you like it bby🥺💘 and i hope you guys also like it and please give me feedback. 💖

1894

A tear rolls down your face as you stare at your reflection pinning loose strands of your hair that have fallen from their position. You didn’t want to be sent off to an older man, you never wanted to tie your love to a man who you don’t love. You quickly pinch your cheeks wincing, creating a ‘blush’ to form at your apples.

A girl in the 18th century was a difficult role in the economy but being a princess was a little bit harder. Grown off expensive luxuries and multiple events, surrounded by other snobs who don’t pride themselves in their talents but in the money building up in the bank under their name. The women are oppressed, through chores and cooking, through clothes that squeeze your ribs painfully to bearing multiple children for a man that doesn’t seem to have any emotional connection with you.

Your parents got married when your mother was fifteen and your father twenty four, she told you that she grew to love him since he pays for the dresses and provides high quality wine. Still you reject the system until the other night when you felt your father’s wrath of anger spread along your skin, you were eighteen and still unengaged and running from the marriage they set up two years ago between a man named Alec, who was too old for you - you wanted to say it was illegal but nothing ever changes in this kingdom.

You blinked away the tears as your door slowly opened revealing your maid, Jieun with a kind smile.

“Princess? The guests are arriving, are you ready now?” You nodded staring at your hands.

“Well yes Jieun, I am not well, please come in.” You whispered as she pushed her slim body through the doors shutting it quickly before rushing to your side.

“Are you okay?” She whispered drying your tears with a tissue off your vanity.

“I am very sad because I do not love that man, and feel hurt by my parents’ decision.” You explained as she smiled sadly and nodded understanding.

Jieun was basically your sister, and her mother, who was also your mother’s maid, was like a mother to you since your own could never be around for you. She also was in a relationship with the butler’s son, Kunhang, you envied her at times because she chose him, and he was close to her age. She sighed squeezing your hand, to which she stands up and continues helping you with your hair placing silver jewellery in your hair.

“I know, I also don’t like the arrangement, you deserve someone better who you love.” You nod, finally stopping your tears knowing that you aren’t overreacting as a knock rings out through the room, indicating it is your time to descend the marble staircase.

“You shall be okay though, just have fun and dance, okay?” She assured, you smile giving her a tight hug as your dress flows completely to the crown. She stands on a stole and places your mask over your eyes, sticking it in place as the butler opens your door.

“Hurry princess!” He says anxiously as you balance in your shoes, you walk just as if you were in class on a Tuesday morning. You reach the top of the stairs meeting with your parents who don’t send you a friendly smile.

“Your corset isn’t tight enough, you look fat!”

You stiffen with your mother’s cruel and harsh words, hearing a voice boom through the high ceiling roof. They call upon you and you smile before breathing calmly watching the beady eyes of ego driven individuals watch your descent, every step, just one ahead of your royal parents.

The applause airs out in the room as the band begins to play, the strings picking up their bows. You had always wanted to play a violin but your parents always disliked musicians, making sure you wouldn’t become one. The whole room buzzes with talk before a clearing is made in the middle and couples begin to line up.

“Your highness, you look quite beautiful, may I have the first dance?” You stared at the man who you didn’t want to see in this ballroom, Alec, the man you are meant to marry in a couple of months. You nod quietly as he takes your hand, you could see the rest of the men bowing in commencement and you followed him around in a traditional dance, he kept following your body up and down in hunger.

“I cannot wait to have your body in my bedroom, holding my children.” Your jaw tensed at his words as his eyes held lust. You could feel your eyes brimming with tears again but you held your chin up smiling slightly watching your parents’ dead eyes follow you.

Your heart clenches in pain but as the music finally finishes and the applause spreads throughout the room, you smile politely before making your way through the crowd as new partners line up to repeat the dance. Your throat is suffocating as you try to make your way outside, your breathing falling and your heartbeat echoing out in your ears as your blood pumps quickly through your veins.

The doors fly open as the moonlight hits your face and the cold fresh air fills your lungs, the peace resting around you with the strings playing behind you. You close the door your back resting against the glass heavily breathing.

“Is the princess struggling to hold up her duties?”

You jump at the sound of a male voice, you look over at the balcony noticing him leaning over the rail, staring off over the garden.

“No, I’m holding up my duties and doing very well thank you. Who you might be?” You demanded, he laughs turning around and your breath catches in your throat.

He was tall and broad, handsome with brown hair and soft but strong features. He was gorgeous and you instantly were attracted to him.

“Sir Xioa Dejun, your highness.” He bows kissing your hand and you curtsy with a smile. He looks behind you at the party unfolding behind you both.

“Follow me,” He whispers.

“Pardon?”

“No need to be formal with me princess.”

You had never heard someone speak so simply and it was nice, quickly looking behind you through the class doors, you hitch your dress up and grab his hands walking down the balcony’s stairs to the large garden. The music was loud but down here it was nonexistent and you could only hear your heartbeats.

“May I have this dance?” He asked and you nodded as he took up your waist, your elbow resting on his in the other arm. You could feel his biceps through the material and you blushed as he looked into your eyes.

“So princess, tell me about yourself.”

“Well I am eighteen and the only woman in the family to not yet be wed to a prick of a man before sixteen!”

“Really? You are only eighteen though.”

“That’s what I try to reason, how old are you, Dejun?”

“Twenty, I am not who you’d expect.” He chuckled causing you to smile.

“Oh is that so?” He nods smiling slightly, spinning you around the rose bushes, it was as if that second you were the only people left on the planet and your own music began, the string section raging on like your heartbeats with even a guitar which is raw plucking through the middle of the timpani drums belting.

“Who are you Dejun?” You asked and he smiled sighing replying.

“Just a boy from the town over with wealthy parents but zero love.” You nod relating as you continue to drift around the garden with the breeze.

“You seem trapped by money,” You commented and he nodded.

“Indeed I am, but what about you? You seem unhappy, though.” He asked and you sighed.

“I am, the man I’m going to wed in May is thirty two years of age and I do not want to give my love to someone so vain.” You laughed humorlessly, and Dejun furrowed his thick eyebrows then asked.

“Must you be so perfect all the time?”

“Yes, my mother called me fat as my corset wasn’t tight enough.” You rolled your eyes.

“Well your mother is wrong, all respect to the queen but you are beautiful and far from fat.” Dejun assured and you smiled thankfully at him.

“Princess!” You wince as you hear the scream of Jieun, she caught the sight of you, and she entered the garden with Kunhang following behind her.

“You have to come back with us,” Jieun ordered out of breath.

“I agree, I think if you’re late more than that, your parents are going to kill you.” Kunhang added and you sighed turning to Dejun.

“I have to go.” You muttered staring up into Dejun’s sharp eyes that held sadness and disappointment.

“It was a pleasure princess.” He sighs sadly.

“Call my Y/N... When will I see you again?” You whisper as he pulls you closer dipping his head.

“I am not sure Y/N, but I will come for you.” He promises smiling before gently placing a soft kiss on your lips.

Jieun stared at the two of you with shock and horror, but you gave no mind to her at all. Kunhang actually had to pull her away letting you have your special moment with the mysterious gentleman.

“Please come back for me, steal me from this life.” You whisper your eyes burning with tears, kissing him again before you pick your dress’ skirt up walking briskly through the garden with grace beside Dejun for the masquerade ball. He holds your hand in the idea to help you be stable with your shoes.

As you tug up the staircase of the balcony accompanied by the boy, you meet the eyes of a smirking Jieun and Kunhang. She looks from Dejun to you and then from You to Dejun.

“Please Jieun, Kunhang, don’t tell anyone.” You begged and Jieun hushed you assuring that your secret is safe with her, Kunhang promising the same.

“Thank you kind Miss Jieun, and sir Kunhang, I am Xiao Dejun from the town over.” You smile at his formality realising it would stay between you, his eyes sparkled as he looked back at you dropping your hand.

“You picked quite a gentlemen princess, with kind manners and not to mention a handsome face! However your parents are livid and finding you dancing around with this boy shall not do you good, as well as Alec who is seeking for you.” Jieun said.

You sighed nodding bidding your farewell as Jieun leads you inside to the ballroom, pulling leaves off the edges of your dress as you walk back into the party, sharing kind words with admirers before meeting the angry eyes of the Queen and King.

“Where were you? You are ruining our reputation!” Your mother hissed towards you as your father scowls before picking up his facade of kindness.

“I panicked, I’m so sorry mother and father for my actions, please forgive me.” You apologised trying to sound sincere, they nodded dismissing you into the arms of Alec making you internally groan at his horrific face. Nothing would compare to how handsome Dejun is, he is who you could only love.

It is May and the fear of the marriage chaining you down to your family’s roots is growing inside you. Sir Dejun never came back for you and you’ve been rotting away in the walls of the castle for nearly two months waiting for his arrival.

Sulkily, as the sun begins to set only a couple of days before you’re tied to Alec, You sit at your vanity letting Jieun brush your hair till it is completely straight with no knots or curls. You know she has noticed your decrease in mood, often sneaking you chocolate or keys to rooms to find a thrill of the moment to break your trance. But you always end up where you started, waiting for Dejun.

“Princess I hate seeing you so unhappy, Dejun seemed to be nice but maybe all this was too unrealistic?” Jieun muttered, sick of seeing you so depressed like this.

“No Jieun! He will come for me!” You whispered hoping neither of your lurking parents could hear you behind closed doors.

Jieun was the only reason you hadn’t driven yourself insane, slowly telling her about how you were planning to leave and escape the arranged marriage. At first you were unsure how she’d react but she nodded saying she would cover for you and help you runaway with your love. She even said she might lie or quit her job and come work for Dejun and you in wherever you two might be, you tried to change her mind not wanting her go get hurt by your evil parents, or taking her away from Kunhang knowing how it would make her unhappy. But she assured you that she was willing to leave all this behind for you to be happy, and even Kunhang agreed to quitting his job, not wanting to leave his love and his best friend alone.

“I’m sorry, sure he was such a lovely sir, but this is all so rushed! What will happen if you wake up one day and find that you don’t love him truly?” She hissed and you shook your head.

“No Jieun, I do love him, I just know.”

She was about to say something, but her mother entered so she just shut up and nodded, worry covering her face as the sun completely sets outside your window as she braids your hair down the middle, the end landing above your coax bone.

Your parents had been angst since the night of the ball, forcing you to attend more classes on manners and constantly have meetings about the wedding. The dress you’re to be wed in, the stunning dress leaving bruises down your side from the corset, you were naturally not that size and the pain left behind was immense. Tomorrow you were going to try the wedding dress and you have been rejecting the thought, wishing he would just show up soon to save you from this horrid mess. Jieun sighs as the door opens revealing Kunhang who was smiling.

“Princess, a mail has come for you. Your parents has sent you a message to let you know that the guests you were awaiting, won’t attend.” Kunhang said.

A flush of relief washed over your body as he winked and left after passing you the crisp, white envelope. A dinner tonight with your parents would have been tragic and the loss of their love would be so obvious, and your heart would break in two.

“We shall let you be, but we will come back in half an hour, dear.” Jieun’s mother said as she kisses your check gently while you smile at your real mother and she glides out of the room to complete the chores, Jieun passed you a smile before following her mother.

Staring at the envelope in your hand, you wonder who might’ve sent the letter. The front has a beautiful cursive letters of your name that was utterly breathtaking with how pristine it was. Excitement was starting to form in your chest as you slowly with your finger broke the seal, pulling a lovely paper out of the little package. Opening it up your heart stopped.

“Dear Y/N,

I apologise for not returning, so much has been happening. I have been working hard to support us, as well as dealing with my father’s death.

I have found us a house where we can grow together and have children, only if you want to. Even though it’s all rushed, my heart entirely belongs to you.

I’m coming to collect you tonight at the strike of midnight when the guards change positions, bring a small trunk of the most important things.

See you soon darling,

Sir. Dejun.”

You couldn’t believe your eyes as you reread his letter in the way you’d spoken the night of the ball. But you were leaving and he was finally returning for you, with silence you found a small trunk the size of a place mat and began putting your most prized possessions in, including an old teddy bear, a detailed hand mirror, clips, your paint brushes and paint, a favourite book and a few pieces of clothing from your wardrobe. Shutting the clasps, you secretly hid it under the bed as Jieun opened the door with a tray of food balancing on her hands. Seeing your flustered state, she puts the plate down before rushing to your side

“Are you okay princess?!”

You nodded, tears of happiness filling your eyes, “I am well now. He’s coming, Dejun is coming.”

***

You awaited in the palace, looking at your soon to be old room that was always bare but felt like it missed your soul without your possessions. Jieun had discussed your way out with Kunhang, and how she would make sure your parents were asleep. Your body shook in its skin at the thought of being free from this tortuous life and even if you might not be rich in money any longer, you would still have Dejun - hopefully forever.

As the clock struck quarter twelve, you placed pillows under your blankets to create the illusion, slide the trunk out from underneath the bed and grabbed your grandfather’s old ‘car’ jacket that had hung in your room for ages.

He was one of the only kings who despised the life he was born into but found ways to bring the princess of his dreams to the castle and craved thrills like being in a fast vehicle. Sitting down at your mirror you saw the utter fear but thrill in your eyes that your grandpa had helped with. You felt delighted as Jieun opened the door, a look of sadness looming on her but happy for you as she lead you down the back servant way’s. Your plan was that if anyone saw you, she was carrying medication and you were ridiculously unwell with a serve cold. She held your hand as you made it near the guards positioning and her little pocket watch clicked twelve, as the guards stepped in. She hugged you tightly, and passed you a letter before you ran in your night dress with the brown leather suitcase out the doors silently, running further out of the gardens you fell still.

Your whole word was changing, you were doing this. what would become of you? Would Dejun always be there for you or was this just false reality?

“Y/N.”

Frightened, you jumped as he breathed out your name into the cold, and all bad thoughts melted away as you saw his smile. Sitting tall upon a chestnut horse, Dejun jumped off, his shirt outlining his broad shoulders and his features blessing your sight. Desperately you swung into his arms, your hands wrapping around his neck and bringing his lips down to yours. He smiled grabbing your hips before you both pulled away in a rush.

“Quick! We must leave.” You whispered passing him your small trunk which he clips to the horse’s side before he heaved up onto the mare.

Offering his hand down he pulls you up easily and instantly you feel at home with him and riding a horse. When you were younger, you rode your uncles’ horses across the hills and down to the river where when no one was looking, you would swim in barely anything. With a yank of the reins, Dejun sends the horse into a flying gallop.

This is your new life and you’ve never wanted something more.

Six months have passed since you ran in your night dress with the aid of Jieun through the front doors secretly. The air flows through the small cottage, the smell of flowers filling the room around us. Gently his fingers strum the strings of an old guitar, that has a bright birch-wood frame and is loved dearly by him. You sit reading a book by the window on a pile of cushions, a pair of your own pants on your legs- Dejun believed in equality and always let you wear them.

Working at her own pace in the kitchen, Jieun bakes a pie, fondling the pastry into a beautiful masterpiece on top. A few months after you read her letter, you invited her to come live in the small back house of your cottage and she politely declined stating that her and Kunhang already found a small apartment for them to live in, and luckily, it was close to yours. Later, Kunhang also quit his job in the palace, and joined her, now they were happily engaged about to be wed in two months, Dejun and Kunhang quickly became friends, causing the four of you to hang out constantly.

“You’re quite magnificent with the guitar.” You whispered into the warm air, he smiles standing up from the arm chair before placing a soft kiss on your lips. Looking into his eyes, you play with your wedding ring happily, he smiles and said.

“You’re quite magnificent, my darling.”

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project-paranoia · 3 years

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Live Watch: S.C.I. Mystery Episode One

I enjoy camp because I've always enjoyed analysis and examination. I enjoy looking at something from all sides, testing it with my fingertips. When I was a child I would sit for hours just looking at something until I had it all held in my mind and I felt like I understood it. Camp necessitates that understanding the way that imitation and - good - parody requires it. To quote Susan Sontag - who articulated what camp is so well - Camp is "a sensibility that revels in artifice, stylisation, theatricalisation, irony, playfulness, and exaggeration rather than content." Because of this camp takes on head to head gender, sexuality, expectations, any sort of defined norm and sequins it up then shakes it down until understanding comes out. When understanding something there are three major ways to work your investigation - what it is, what it's imitation is - the close but not quite, and what it isn't. Camp handles all three, to quote again: "Camp sees everything in quotation marks. It's not a lamp, but a 'lamp; not a woman, but a 'woman.'"

Why are we talking about camp? Because SCI Mystery is some of the best kind of camp outside of drag or screaming about wire hangers. It deals a lot with mental illness in a way that would destroy a serious show, but in this one "mental illness" is a metaphor for being marginalised and a way to talk about the mouse and cat in the room. This show is about being queer. About being gay loudly and quietly, about resisting specific labels and needing them, about the threat of a cure and the blessing of acceptance. All the messy realities of queer life as varied as queer people. Like Lil Nas X's Montero, you can appreciate the effort without being comfortable with it. While the show's allegory of mental illness when many queer people are still told they are ill is done well and there is reason to the choices and tone, things are said which can be hard to hear. Knowing they're there because they're hard to hear and have been heard doesn't help everyone.

With all that said, it's also a fun, silly bl drama. Don't let the analysis scare you off. While the information about camp can be something to be aware of, all this show requires to be enjoyed is a willingness to be amused and spooked in turns.

You know the drill, spoilers below!

* I have memorised the youku sound, I have a triggered response with it. Not all triggers are bad, this one reminds me of Guardian

* Welcome to episode one where we just leap in! But don't worry, one of them has a cute earring and they are colour coordinated.

* Watching from youtube the episode is 38 minutes long while most of the others are 45. Attach whatever emotion you want to that fact.

* The exposition is handily delivered by asking a question which tells us some things, thank you show, I appreciate it

* First episode and he's already giving his partner an in case I don't come back letter to be opened if he dies

* Wait for me!~ Go!~~

* Slow walk with dramatic music: 1 (don't make this a drinking game You Will Expire) this time with bonus almost looking back

* I've seen a similar shot on Hawaii Five O

* Don't explain what's happening, just knock everything over with a jump kick in some absolutely spotless white tennies

* Running with dramatic music with bonus looking back: Does it count? We have yet to hear back from the judges

* They leap into the water with an explosion behind them, we are less than 2 minutes in and I love that for them

* At first I thought the boats were making a big heart before I remembered that I am very silly and they are not doing that

* This one is going to be long

* I can see his pockets through his trousers, why are his trousers so thin?

* It's not kissing to dramatic music in the surf if it's CPR

* Each story line has its own intro and that's very sexy of them

* Slow walk/dramatic music: 2-6

* These people are totally goofy and and yet the Seriousness

* Two Weeks Ago!

* The police school bus has arrived to shoo away the crows circling around Dr. Zhan staring (dramatically) at the body

* Sport scar policeman dresses even more unprofessionally than Zhao Yunlan who at least looks like a detective who was jumped by so many criminals he just gave up wearing a suit and went for jeans. Chief Bai's clothes are so thin, I'm under constant anxiety someone is going to tear them off.

* Also several of the cast pictures on MyDramaList look like the pictures your auntie insists taking to send to your other aunties and I love that for them

* Triple axil spin from the victim, the judges are loving it - this is the camp I'm here for

* The dramatic slo mo and music budget for this show was so big, just as it should be

* He's mad because he's angy

* Master Psychiatrist can tell all about the killer from crouching by the body, it's a trope and this is one of the few places I like it because it serves the show instead of the show serving it

* When you're almost boyfriend is going away for reasons and it's not your decision but you can't go with him because of your job so you're just low key bitter about it

* "You can't control me"

* The pettiness between these two

* Professional women who worked hard to get where they are still are constantly obsessed with boys according to most cdramas

*The male posturing in those three second has accidentally circled back around to being gay in the way those bro shows accidentally do and I love that

* I live for this 80s-90s police chief perm

* The Pettiness

* I always tend to like doctor characters, I don't know why. Even when they aren't my favourites I like them.

* She's kind of adorable, I like her (I've seen a lot of this show and every time I say I like someone it ends badly ;-; )

* "the victems"

* If you love Creative English, this is the show for you!

* Chief Bai's crew is trying so hard to get them back together

* Dr. Zhan is so good at psychology he can tell what someone looks like from some tire tracks - this trope is used all the time in crime shows, but they push it a little farther in SCI and it really helps the viewer know what the rules for the show are

* The scene in the psychiatrist's office hearkens back to queer coded villains and the way they're treated in old black and white horror cinema - but done so artfully it's almost invisible. It's incredibly well done, and the awareness of tropes and types all throughout the series is tremendously successful as much as it's campy fun.

* There's also the trope of someone who manipulates someone into feeling like they've been "purified" and then weaponises them against the "filthy". And of course the fact that the killer's blade is a mirror - that he's killing in others what he sees in himself. This trope hasn't just been queer-coded but has been applied to any sort of physical or mental disorder. Thesis have been written about this trope and the anxiety attached to it. I can't write them better and this is long enough, it's just a small part of the excellent handling of the themes showing up in this genre and I wanted to point it out because it deserves appreciation for the skill and knowledge in the writing.

* The whole you need evidence vs you're saying psychoanalysis isn't trustworthy feels very much like a coded angry exes discussion

* I love the establishing shots, so good

* He kind of deserved that door to the face, what was he even doing

* Police violence in crime shows is supposed to be a release for the viewer, but many countries have issues with police violence so it hits wrong. Here it's far more performative in a way that at least has some awareness

* The weirdest phone call, you call someone to tell them something important and they say two things to you and hang up

* The tongue thing, why always the tongue thing?

* When a serial killer tries to compliment you by calling you a carnivore and you shut down the whole alpha male supposition by calling yourself a vegetarian

* At this point I've written almost fifteen hundred words and taken almost two hours to watch 23 minutes

* This is my life, these are my choices

* Dutch Angles

* You could make this conversation about being gay, I have had this conversation about homosexuality before

* Unfortunately while I had it I was on the bus trapped in a window seat

* The conversation didn't end with me saying something cool and everyone clapping

* They just got off the bus to go to work

* The banality of evil, yo

* Her shorts are Incredibly Short, good for her

* "arrest the perp behind my back" that's his job, broheim

* He doesn't ask why she checked behind their ears

* DUN dun dun!

* Slo mo file drop, and of course the file is blood stained and aged

* Chalk Art of Doom

* Chinese word play!

* Caught almost putting his coat over his crush, embarrassing XD

* Backstory!

* I love all the little character details, I could quote lines I think are funny all day but that would start getting silly

* Bai Yu Tong is marked as clean and having OCD but we don't see what's apparently a huge character trait at all other than the all white, do love that he's good at cooking

* Dr. Zhan: Brilliant! Genius! Cannot feed himself.

* Dr. Gong has indifference level 100% which is true and also I love that for him

* I love that Wang Shao part of the team because he's good at making friends, I love that for him

* Poor Zhao Fu: scared of ghosts and dumb and sweet? At least he has an 8 pack

* Jiang Lin is very tropey except the mention of her nearsightedness

* Ma Han's height 1.7m and legs 1.8m is hilarious and I love it

* I stopped recording the slo mo walks, but if you were drinking along with them you might be dead so I really appreciate you taking time out of your afterlife to continue reading. We appreciate all our ghost readers

* And that's the first episode! Thanks for making it to the end!

#SCI Mystery #SCI谜案集 #watchthrough #let's watch

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deamabilisworld · 4 years

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The first thing a gay person should do is find a community.

So blue is the warmest colour.

First things first, Emma's outfits make me fall in love.

We oftentimes understand genres from superficial features. Horror for instance by threatening situations, death, etc.

But once in a while a radical author arrives into the scene and triggers all the emotions related with the genre, without actually repeating any of its tropes.

It is easy to classify lesbianism as girl on girl relationship. And the relationship with sex, and so lesbianism with a girl on girl sexual relation.

It is more difficult for a trans lesbian such as myself to understand what it means and why was I not satisfied with relationships with women who saw me as male, even disregarding penetration and the assumption that I should be the dominant partner.

So when I try to realize what it means, I try, like many of us, to reflect on lesbianism in media. And throughout the past few months it helped me understand what I was missing, even though I'm yet to theorize or put it into words.

The first hour and a half of the movie was all that for me. I connected what was going through Adele. Especially when she sees Emma for the first time. Having a confident butch wrap her hands around you as you walk in the streets, seeing it from afar and longing.

As for her sex with men compared to the sexual fantasy, that's also interesting.

Men tend to be very focused on penetration. What's more interesting is that they almost have no discussion about their own personal enjoyment in sex.

Think about it: the market for male sex toys is very poor, and men freak when you discuss penetrating them, even though the anal region is filled with nerve endings which guarantee enjoyment.

This leads to their sexual interaction begging technique-driven. Very linear and centred on specific tasks in an almost mechanical way.

I obviously also talk from my own personal experience.

Maybe I'm not the right person to speak about it, but I couldn't find much pleasure when having sex as a guy. The experience was stale, repetitive and motionless. I was not driven by my sensations, rather by my imagination and the need to please the other. It reached to situations where I used to throw my used condoms as fast as possible since I didn't really climax in these interactions.

Which obviously also limits the other's capacity to enjoy the interaction.

The most affirming first experience in my transition was when I was treated as a woman in sex, and I actually reached orgasm for the first time in my life.

Having said that, the first actual sex scene with Emma also bothered me.

When I think of lesbianism and sapphic, I think of things I can actually do as a woman, and to what I relate. Which is obviously very gay scenarios, but rarely penetrative sex.

I imagine cuddling in the middle of the night, a dildo pulled out, we both climax and low key going to bed as if nothing.

I imagine looking her in the eyes as she plays with her fingers inside of me, her dominant eyes give me comfort.

Eating her up.

But having said all of that, vaginas gross me out.

I mean penises gross me much more.

I love breasts and buttocks.

But I really find it difficult being attracted to the vagina, playing with it, kissing it.

One time in the army, I sat with someone as she guarded the base entrance and she told me she usually finds the penis appalling, but when she has sex, it becomes the most beautiful thing in the world.

Dejana once made me insert my fingers to her in the shower, but I couldn't find joy in it.

Let's talk about Dejana for a second.

While she saw me as a hetero and despised lesbians, BITWC was one of her favourite movies. And I could see a reflection of our dynamic in that relationship.

I was stronger in that dynamic. I came from abroad, I had more money, I was her boss's daughter.

I read more, especially and of course philosophy.

Our relationship was a form of escapism.

She wanted the classical type of romance, that which doesn't exist in the rural parts of Serbja. Love, warmth, real human affection deeper than sexual lust.

I was looking for a simple relationship. Cooking together, travelling, I didn't want to think about the fact that I was a lonely outcast in an unfamiliar country.

We laid in bed. She was playing some game on her phone, I was reading for a philosophy essay. In truth, I was avoiding the need to interact with her. Because when we didn't do recreational activities, we didn't have a connection.

For someone who often speaks about the need to hear as many narratives as possible, to understand and relate to the earth, and to understand emotions rather than thoughts, I failed miserably connecting with her.

Dejana would have probably been content with such a relationship. She is used to male detachment, and she is very willing to deny issues in a dynamic, but I couldn't go on with it.

I didn't feel guilty when I broke it up. I felt relief.

Emma tried to change Adele, to educate her. But in so doing she clearly doesn't understand her.

Which comes to an analysis of the movie itself.

It is a classical rich-poor romance story. But instead of the American-dream infumed version of the story, we get a cynical, french depiction.

Emma tries to connect with the rural schick. Her last exhibit is presented in very oriental streets, that almost remind me of Jaffa.

Emma uses Adele to relate with this simpleton lifestyle. In all of her relationships, she is strong, in control, and she uses her girlfriends to tell her story.

Emma is open with her sexuality because her family is embracing, Adele hides her true identity because in her society she would be isolated and categorized.

Emma can study whatever she wishes, Adele needs to be practical.

She has the time to educate herself and discuss many worlds, Adele cannot, she has only her own experience to reflect upon.

And Emma doesn't understand why is she content with these lives, how can she live like that.

But is it better for Adele to dream big and see it get crushed?

Well sorta yes.

After all, when they break up, Emma bounces back but Adele is lost. Without anywhere to sleep, no one to love her or to understand her.

And yea, it is partially because of circumstances. Emma is far richer. But with these circumstances came the fact that Emma is groomed to live free.

And let's talk about grooming and praying in the gay community and why Emma is an awful person.

When I started to come out, I immediately joined the BDSM community.

When I had to move and lost my family, I digressed a lot.

I returned to my horse only when I met my rugby community.

A gay community gives you power, a place to discuss, to understand yourself better, friends to relate with and gossip who is dangerous within the community.

Two days ago I woke up a mess after 5h sleep and a lot of packing to do for my new flat.

Right in that morning, I received a message.

I met that girl in the philosophy common room.

She was an economics student. Like many other Bulgarians, she knew her way and got the code for the room from a friend to steal coffee, tea and food.

We became friends. She was always a powerful person, one of those Nietzchiens who understand everything as a power dynamic.

I told her my radical feminist theories and she was dazzled.

She graduated, moved to London, found a boyfriend and started dating.

It wasn't a common relationship.

That person was her feminized slave. I suggested to her that perhaps he was actually a she, but the person denied it. Until recently.

But she messaged me not to ask for help with her transitioning. The opposite, she was overwhelmed by the fact that her bae wants to transition and she wanted confirmation that her transitioning is wrong. I was horrified. That day, the Bulgarian convinced her bae not to go on hormones so she won't hurt her, and so the Bulgarian won't leave her.

In a society where people discover their sexuality and gender only in sexual surroundings, natural predators would abuse them as a means of gratification.

Adele could only discover her homosexuality in gay pick up bars. Emma naturally picked her up and raised her.

Adele, who didn't know anything gay other than Emma, relied on what Emma was willing to teach her.

Becoming Emma's toy, she was dependent upon her.

The first thing a gay person should do is find a community.

Although Emma tried to pamper Adele, pushing her to express herself in writing, she never introduced Adele to friends or to the community.

The only way Emma knew how to pamper Adele, was to try and make her a copy of herself. Which failed.

While the film attempts to escape the male gaze upon lesbians, it flirts very directly with the burgeois-gaze upon the poor and oriental.

Can that power dynamic be non-abusive? and if so, how?

We want to say that Emma should understand Adele's culture and embrace it as much as Adele needs to embrace Emma's.

But Adele's culture has unavoidable ugly aspects. It is grotesque, not refined, narrow-minded and closed. And it is a central aspect to her cultural as much as the other, beautiful, aspects are.

Do gays have any choice? Can you be gay and poor, gay and be part of the ethnic 'simpleton' culture? or are these aspects inherently negating?

My answer was to escape. I lived in poverty in the streets, away from my home, where I could define my own culture as a mix of orientalism, punk and classical beauty.

But not everyone is as lucky to do that.

When I write that 'hetero culture is boring' I fully say that I find it difficult to relate to Dejana. And part of me is sad because there are some morals and beauty in her world which I couldn't connect to.

For while I was attracted to my representation of her culture, I was not attracted to her, she was just a canvas for me, a cynical tool beyond my comprehension.

I could have found beauty in her only when I painted her in my own likening.

#blue is the warmest color #lesbianism #sapphic #blog #analysis #social critique #marxism

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lgbticonas · 6 years

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LGBT Icon → Farley Granger [1925-2011]

Bisexual actor Farley Granger (1925-2011) made his mark in the Alfred Hitchcock psychological thrillers Rope (1948) and Strangers on a Train (1951), both movies with gay subtexts. Although he carried on a number of scandalous affairs with both men and women, unlike most other actors who were gay or bisexual, Granger refused to marry to keep his fans and studios off the scent of his male relationships. When studio bosses berated him for being seen having dinner with composer Aaron Copland, a known homosexual, he shot back, “(Copland is) one of the most important composers in America, a gentleman I met at this studio when you hired him to write the score for The North Star,” which was Granger’s debut film (1943). “I’m not going to be told...who I can or cannot see in my private life.” Granger turned on his heels and walked out of Sam Goldwyn’s office.

Granger had been scouted at age 17 by a studio rep for Goldwyn and had featured roles in the The North Star and The Purple Heart (1944) before going into the Navy a few days after he turned 18. Still a virgin at age 20, he found himself stationed in Honolulu. Determined to change his status, he enjoyed a lovely night of love-making with a hostess at a private club. Before he left the premises, however, he was seduced by a handsome, older Naval officer, thus losing his virginity “twice in one night.” This is not wishful thinking on the part of a biographer repeating an unconfirmed rumor. The source is Farley Granger himself, who wrote a tell-all memoir titled “Include Me Out” in 2007 (available in e-reader formats). After his discharge from the Navy, Granger moved back in with his parents in California. Soon thereafter, he fled their alcohol-fueled bickering to move in with openly gay screenwriter Arthur Laurents, with whom he had a four-year affair. "As striking as Farley's looks were," Laurents related in his autobiography, "he seemed unaware of them. Once you knew him, what you marveled at was his sweetness. He was generous with praise for his peers and with presents for friends, as though he himself wasn't enough to give." Thus began a life-long pattern. Although Farley had multiple affairs with women – most notably Shelly Winters, whom he called “the love of my life and the bane of my existence” – he lived with men. One of them, writer and soap-opera producer Robert Calhoun, remained his partner for 45 years, until Calhoun’s death in 2008.

Granger’s memoir details his affairs with several women, including Ava Gardner and Patricia Neal, but he reveals that his only serious affair with a female was with Winters. Granger worked during the golden age of Hollywood and counted among his friends and colleagues Charlie Chaplin, Bette Davis, Elizabeth Taylor, Judy Garland, David Niven, Jimmy Stewart, Hedy Lamarr and Jerome Robbins. He danced and sang opposite Barbara Cook in a revival of The King and I. This memoir is a pleasure to read, as he shares tales of his love affair with Italy while delivering the inside scoop on major film and stage projects. Granger made Hitchcock’s Rope (1948) shortly after his military service, on loan-out from Goldwyn. In his memoir he laments the casting of James Stewart. Granger thought the film would have worked better with an actor who could show a more sinister bent, such as James Mason. Two years later, while shooting a film on location in Manhattan, Granger had a two-night fling with composer Leonard Bernstein, who was so smitten that he invited Granger to join him on his upcoming South American tour. The two men remained lifelong friends. Granger met his long-term partner Robert Calhoun (on right in photo below) while working on a stage production in 1963. The two slept together for the first time in Philadelphia on the night of JFK's assassination. They remained together until Calhoun's death from lung cancer.

#farley granger #lgbt history #lgbt #mlm #bi visibility #bi history #bisexual #old hollywood #actor #cinema #1940s #1950s

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bloggingwithmattporter · 5 years

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My Relationship and How It Ended

All through our lives, we wonder who our partner will be and how will we find them? Going out with friends, talking online for a while or just simply a bump into each other. At the age of 20, I was amazed at the thought of how i'd meet someone I could be myself around. Myself having an incredibly outgoing bubbly personality, I always knew that I could be seen by many people, but never knew that I would find someone who I'd consider to be perfect for me. For years I've been independant and achieved things by myself with no partner by my side, I didn't want anyone nor was I looking for someone. But yet, I always thought to myself "I wonder if my future girlfriend would be proud of me", which actually makes you realise you're more lonely than you thought, but hey, that's okay because you know one day you will find her.

Everything changed for me one night, a few weeks after I started a new job. I decided to go out one night, which i remember fondly enough that I would've rather stay in and watch some films, but decided it would be a great time to celebrate the job I acquired. When you were like me and decided to drink yourself silly every single week, you had to find reasons to go out. Little did I know, going out that night would change my life in millions of great ways, which is now terrifying to think about.

After a fair few drinks, I decided to go out into another area of the club to share my loud obnoxious personality around. The moment I walked down there, was like a movie. I saw a girl, even in my intoxicated state, I could tell she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever laid my eyes upon. I instantly came up with a goal to make her laugh. It takes a lot to make me nervous, it was trait that I never had. I went up to her and at that exact same time, she walked up to me and introduced herself. You know how I said it was like a movie? I said that because when I looked into her eyes, everything around me froze, I was just standing there. After what felt like thirty minutes, I introduced myself then we sat down and had a drink. I wouldn't be able to tell you the exact conversations that we had, but I can tell you I interrupted her to inform her that I needed to do a pee followed by what I thought to be an FBI cross Ninja jump over the table, but according to her that was never the case... I still stick with what I thought it felt still to this day. When I returned we had another drink and spoke some more and introduced us to each others friends. One of my friends, Jordan, looked at me when I introduced her and smiled at me, for some strange reason, he knew I was interested, suppose I've never really introduced a girl to my friends before. As this night drew to a close, I lost her and eventually stormed out of the club because I had enough. Little did I know, she was asking about me when I left. I got home, surprisingly, and fell asleep.

I woke up to a message from her asking me out on a date. I immediately felt emasculated, but that was okay. Obviously I said yes. We went to a Shannon Noll concert, it was a perfect time spent together and the happiest i've been in a very long time. I still remember how it felt to feel true happiness after such a long time of being alone.

As messages upon messages went by between each other, it was suddenly a week or two later. We had organised for me to stay over her place, have a couple of drinks and listen to some old school music, the best kind. As she's on the floor choosing the songs to put on and I am sitting on her bed, that strange feeling erupted in me again, true happiness. I didn't know at the time, but she was radiating something I haven't felt before, whether it was her great music choice or just being around her. As the night progressed, next thing we know we were in bed together 'cuddling'. We were talking about something that made me laugh, which at the end I did something I couldn't take back. I laughed and then said I love you, which i quickly recovered by saying "lol jokes, you wish". Yes, I actually said that and it turned out more funny than what we were previously discussing. This became a running joke for years to come. I remember laying there thinking "Why did I say that", I was confused about how it happened because it just completely slipped out, I didn't mean to say it but knew I felt it. This was when I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. In the end, it was a perfect night spent by someone whom I believed I loved very quickly. I had never felt this way about another person before.

A week at work progressed and we decided to stay over again, same music, but this time we felt closer than ever. It was an amazing feeling for me and I was honestly just falling harder and harder for her. I knew the next time I saw her, I wanted to do something special, so I surprised her with a little getaway to a nice resort at the Sunshine Coast. When we got there, we checked in and went across the street to Woolworths to stock up on food and the dinner I was going to cook for her, Beef Strogonoff. When we returned, we got the keys and went to our apartment to find out that there was in fact, no kitchen. So it turned out to be a KFC night. This was when I knew she was the one for me, as we finished eating, i decided to rip the KFC bags and dress her up.. it was incredibly hilarious at the time and damn she could pull the look off. We got into bed and watched Eurovision trying to understand the words they were singing, it was great and it was definitely a great weekend. Once again, the kitchen became a running joke too, I could never escape it. After this weekend away, we sat down and decided it would be best if I moved in with her, as I’m always there anyways. So a month after dating, we were living together and I’ve never felt so much happiness, everything was perfect and working out for me.

Months and months went on, we sat there laughing about the possible arguments we would have because we have never argued before. I knew for a fact that I was so in love with this woman that I never wanted to lose her. We were perfect for a very long time. I’d get lost in her eyes every time she would laugh, or how her eyes opened wide when she was explaining a story or a topic she was passionate about. She has the most incredible smile with a beautiful laugh.. which includes her little snorting she does when the laughing can’t stop.

Every morning I would wake up, give her a kiss on the forehead and say good morning. Every night, I’d give her 10 kisses on the forehead, we both made sure to count as it all became a ritual. There were so many memories, inside jokes and little rituals we had that we got so used to that it all became normal. I was still in love with this woman at the age of 23.

Suddenly, cracks started to appear because of my inability to talk. I know, how does someone not know how to talk? That was and still is the hardest thing for me. I am so used to not sharing my feelings about negative things and instead keep it bottled up inside, its a very unhealthy thing to do and still to this day I'm slowly learning.

We were having many fights, breaking up but working our way back to each other every single time. We knew we wanted to be together and we were too stubborn to admit it at times, we were an incredibly competitive couple. Ask her about the monopoly game, she'll tell you she won..... thats because she did but I can assure you we never played monopoly again. I cannot elaborate on the amount of fights and quick break ups we had, we had a severe rough patch. But everything was perfect and I was still the happiest guy in the world.

The last time we broke up was around May 2018, the month we got together in 2016. This was a tough break up but we got back together a week later. I know, people may think how is this healthy, but when you're in love with someone, you'd do anything to make sure it works. Everything was perfect for many many many months. We discussed getting our very own place and we started to buy furniture each paycheck so we would be able to move into a house that wasn’t partly furnished, having kids (even agreed on some names to respect my mother which meant a lot to me) and more importantly, the engagement I was going to do at the start of the year.

I started an incredibly bad addiction to video gaming every day for hours on end, instead of the usual couple of hours a week. I became lazy and didn't appreciate what I had right next to me the entire time. Nearly 3 years we spent together, you would think that I would be more attentive. I just forgot about every thing in my life and was just committed to video games like the person I was long before I met her. I stopped wanting to have sex and I stopped wanting to go out on weekends with her. This all hit home and completely shattered me after she told me she was getting male attention elsewhere. I stormed out with all my stuff and didn't look back once.

A week has gone by and I just sit here in silence every single day. I've eaten half a sausage roll that made me vomit, a few chicken balls and a handful of chips, against my will. During my silence, I realise how much I have changed. I have gone from the alcoholic version of myself to a guy who found out he was ready to settle down, the mature Matt I thought I wouldn't find until I was very much older. I'm not going to lie, this last paragraph is hard to type because I just fall back into the ifs and buts. I know for a fact, all I had to do was to get off that Xbox and give her attention, clean the room when she asked, give her the intimacy that we both required but I slacked out on and most of all, show her the amount of appreciation I have for her since we got together. I feel as though I never want to show another woman intimacy or become close again, unless it’s with her. The constant knot in my stomach won’t dissapear. The world knows just how much I do love her and all my good friends know how much I appreciate and love her, it just turns out I forgot to reassure the most important person to me.

I realise that I don't blame her for any of this because I guess it is all my fault. Every girl in a long lasting relationship needs to know that feeling that their partner does in fact care about them. I just guess for me, it is too late for that. I would do anything to go back to the life we had with me bringing an insane amount of changes that would make any girl feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Not only did I lose my girlfriend, I lost my best friend and the only person that knew exactly who I was and who I am still to this day. She knows more about me than anyone else on this planet and i'm not afraid to admit that. She was my definition of a soul mate. I've never felt more comfortable and open with someone in my life and I highly doubt I'm going to find that feeling with anyone else for a very long time and even then, the chances are slim. All our inside jokes and memories haunt me every single day because they were the happiest times of my life. Every song that comes on the radio, its hard to listen to. All the songs on my phone, I can't listen to because each one takes me back to a time with her. It's hard to watch Netflix alone because I watched basically everything with her many times over. It's hard to get up in the morning and go to work, because every morning I would drive there knowing how close our future home was and how ready I was to propose to her, she was the reason why I got the new job a few weeks ago. The memories are suddenly everywhere and every day you're just caught up in constant nostalgia. The pain doesn’t disappear.

If I could go back in time and change everything, I would in a heartbeat. If she messaged me and told me she wants me back, I'd be there in a heartbeat too. With Christmas and New Years coming up, this is going to be a hard problem for me to recover from for the rest of the year. We had so many plans, I had many plans she didn't even know about. Nearly 3 years down the drain because I was too stupid to show her the amount of love and appreciation I have for her.. it truly fucking hurts. Being so ready to settle down, just for it all to come up above your feet isn't the best feeling.

The hardest part about break ups, is trying to forget about the imagined future you two had planned together. Our future looked so perfect. Going from being so happy, to suddenly depression hitting you straight on the head. The emptiness and loneliness is something I haven't felt in my life and I wouldn't wish it upon my worse enemy.

I don't expect many people to read this, but if you do, thank you for letting me vent and taking it on board. If you're in a relationship, please, tell your partner you love them and that you appreciate them, that's all it takes. Listen to them, talk to them and be there for them through everything life throws their way. Don't get caught up in technology or social media, they can easily become the source of break ups in this generation, which fucking sucks. Put your phone down and just show your partner that you love them. Never would I have thought I’d lose the one piece of me that meant more than anything else on this planet.

Most importantly, to her. If you're reading this, please know that I love and I miss you more than words can explain. I'm sorry that I didn't show you just how much you meant to me and just assumed you knew. You were, and still are, my world. The things we have done together are things I'll forever cherish and miss. You were my soulmate and I wish I could just show you all the changes I'd make to prove just how happy we can be. I would do anything to have you laying in my arms again and hearing you laugh. You are the only person in this world that I need and I’m honestly shattered to know I wasn’t that person for you. My friends keep telling me to move on.. why would I want to, and how could I move on when I know I’ve already met my soul mate? I’ll forever miss and love you.

I honestly thought typing this would make me feel better, even in the slightest amount, but in the end I guess it just made things worse for me. The hardest part for me was leaving someone who I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. I don't know where I would be or the type of person I would be if she didn't enter my life. She brought out the best version of me that was possible.

If you're going through a rough time, talk to a friend or family member. Please know, it's not embarrassing to seek professional help.

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recentanimenews · 3 years

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Memoirs Most Charming, Part 1

I’ve read a handful of charming memoirs lately, and more are on the way!

I’m a Lucky Guy by Frank B. Gilbreth, Jr. This was a reader suggestion from Anne!

Here, Frank B. Gilbreth, Jr. (writing without sister Ernestine, his sometime collaborator) recounts various happenings and misadventures from his early adulthood, beginning in 1929 when he’s headed off to college and ending somewhere around 1946, when he has returned from serving in the Navy and resumed his career as a newspaperman. These include things like going out for football whilst scrawny, being mistaken for a gun-toting gangster whilst attempting to hide booze (prohibition was still on) from the cops, pranking an odious professor (and, later, an odious superior officer), and repeatedly failing to live up to the standards of a demanding admiral to whom he has been assigned as aide.

On the whole, I found all of these stories entertaining, though the sole moment that made me laugh out loud was when Frank’s soon-to-be wife and mother-in-law completely excused the lascivious behavior of his friend, which a moment before had scandalized them, upon learning he was Methodist (their preferred denomination).

“You don’t think he’s a Ten Commandment breaker?” I asked. “Why, I’d trust him any place,” Liz said indignantly. “So would I,” said her mother. “I’ve always said that people shouldn’t be judged by circumstantial evidence.” “You’re so right,” I assured her. “Probably,” she continued, fishing around for a likely excuse, “probably—well, probably the doctor sent that girl over to your apartment to change the boy’s bandage, again, before he went to bed.” I was tempted to break into a high-pitched giggle, but I looked at Liz and caught a warning. “That’s probably just the way it happened,” I nodded gravely.

Unfortunately, it does seem Frank shares a little of the antipathy toward overweight people that his sister possesses. I don’t mind when he accurately describes a person’s physical characteristics—if a bosom is ample and an abdomen abundant, there’s really no getting around that—but when he makes comments about fellow student Sallye—whom he later proclaims to be “a real friend”—like no “male student in his right mind” would give her their fraternity pen, it’s just unnecessarily mean. True, Sallye has a tendency to be loud and overbearing, and I’m fairly sure that’s part of what he meant, but not the whole of it.

That criticism aside, I did enjoy this book and I’m glad I read it. Thanks, Anne!

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life: A Sortabiography by Eric Idle Initially, although it was an enjoyable read, I wouldn’t have classified this “sortabiography” from the Monty Python co-founder as charming. Idle recounts his childhood, school days, introduction to the world of comedy, the formation of Monty Python, the run of the original series, and the Python movies without a tremendous amount of detail. He does elaborate more about his independent endeavors, and I especially appreciated learning more about the creation of The Rutles. Using the song “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” as a sort of framework, Idle chronicles the various circumstances after The Life of Brian where he was called upon to sing it, ranging from Graham Chapman’s funeral to the Royal Variety Performance to the closing ceremony of the 2012 Summer Olympics.

As is common for a book of this type, there is a lot of name-dropping, but in this case a lot of the names were people I genuinely like, like Harry Nilsson, George Harrison, David Bowie, Stephen Fry, Peter Cook, Robin Williams, and Eddie Izzard. And, too, Idle toots his own horn rather frequently, which is admittedly justified when you’ve accomplished as much as he has, and makes sure readers know there were times in his life when he was having loads of sex.

Where he really shines, though, is penning touching tributes to friends who are no longer with us. My husband and I listened to Idle read the unabridged audiobook version together, and by the end of the chapter entitled “George,” we were both in tears. The chapter about Robin Williams is no less lovely. I cannot stress enough how wonderful these two chapters are; they alone are worth the price of admission. It does make one wonder why he doesn’t delve so deeply into the character of his comedy partners, and only makes a few mentions of Terry Jones’ dementia, but perhaps it is because they were all still living in 2018, when the book was published. I shall have to find out whether Idle penned any tributes to Jones on the sad occasion of his passing last year.

Life Among the Savages and Raising Demons by Shirley Jackson I’d heard such good things about these books, but my reaction to Life Among the Savages wasn’t what I expected. True, some of the “lightly fictionalized” anecdotes Jackson relates are somewhat amusing, like the family’s struggle to find a house to rent in Vermont, or insisting to the hospital intake person that her occupation is “writer” as opposed to “housewife,” or her son’s fascination with all the gory details after he gets hit by a car. But the vast majority of the stories involve her children behaving badly, and I had very little patience with these at all.

I imagine that other mothers sympathize with these episodes. Perhaps they see their own experience reflected, and so they laugh but also feel all warm inside, in a loving, maternal way. Not so me, I’m afraid. No, whenever the son showed arrogant condescension toward his mother, or her daughter became intolerably fixated on proper decorum, or one kid or the other was insolent and disrespectful, it just made me angry. In fact, I might have said “Shut the fuck up!” aloud a time or two. This is why it is probably a very good thing that I am not a parent.

Thankfully, Raising Demons contains less of that sort of thing (though significantly more than none). I really loved the section in which Jackson waxes nostalgic about her adolescent obsession with making clothespin dolls and her snarky description of life as a faculty wife (who is expected to have “hemming dishtowels” among her hobbies). The story of how she got a new refrigerator was a highlight, as well.

You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories About Racism by Amber Ruffin & Lacey Lamar Having seen and adored whimsical clips from The Amber Ruffin Show, I was very excited to see that Amber Ruffin and her older sister Lacey Lamar had written a book together. Although the topic is racist incidents the sisters have endured (mostly Lacey, who lives and works in Omaha), the approach at least attempts to be light-hearted. These aren’t stories where someone gets hurt or dies; instead, they elucidate the kind of crap Black people are just expected to swallow or forget.

I did laugh a few times, particularly at Ruffin’s effervescent line delivery—I listened to the unabridged audiobook read by the authors—but after a while, the unrelenting wave of absolutely flagrant ignorance and hate becomes overwhelming. The commentary on the stories is funny, but the situations themselves are stressful and horrible and eye-opening in the most abject, despair-inducing kind of way. I have never been one to deny that racism exists, but I admit to being surprised and horrified by a lot of these stories, espcially the awful things done to kids. A beautiful drawing torn to shreds, a group of teens accused of stealing car keys when none of them is old enough to drive, kids threatened at gunpoint by a crazy neighbor but nobody calls the cops because who will the cops believe… I also feel terribly naive for being surprised.

I’m glad I read this.

Our Hearts Were Young and Gay and Nuts in May by Cornelia Otis Skinner Note: The former was co-written with Emily Kimbrough.

Our Hearts Were Young and Gay recounts the three months in the early 1920s that two young American women spend abroad in Europe, written when they are older (“Emily and I have now reached the time in life when not only do we lie about our ages, we forget what we’ve said they are.”) and nostalgic for more innocent days. It’s written in Cornelia’s voice, though Emily provides many of the details, and tells of the time their ship ran aground, the time Cornelia caught the measles and evaded quarantine, the time they met H. G. Wells and Emily made an embarrassing first impression, the time they mistook a brothel for a boarding house, the time bedbugs gave Cornelia a swollen lip “shining like a polished tomato,” the time their dogs piddled in a swanky Parisian restaurant, etc. For the most part, it’s quite amusing, but there are a few comments that expose the girls’ ignorant attitudes regarding people of other races and sexual preferences.

Rather than focusing on one particular adventure, Nuts in May is a collection of humorous yet unrelated anecdotes Skinner wrote for publications like The New Yorker. Topics include but are not limited to: actors being asked to lend their talents in aid of charitable organizations, a Protestant family’s audience with the Pope, people who laugh at anything, dizzying real estate transactions, and being interviewed by Dr. Kinsey. Occasionally, the tone turns more domestic and reminds me some of Shirley Jackson, such as in “Bag of Bones,” when Skinner’s son insists that the bones they find on a Colorado trail belong to a dinosaur, or “Those Friends of His,” about her son’s reticence on the origins of his friends who come to visit. The latter also makes reference to a car “teeming with hamsters,” which is a phrase and a visual that I adore. Indeed, there were quite a few giggles to be had, and I reckon I might seek out more of Skinner’s work in the future.

By: Michelle Smith

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

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wtfzodiacsigns · 7 years

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Signs According To People I’ve Met

Aries

Usually very motivated and energetic, they have a really strong aura around them. I admire them a lot, they seem like cool people and may seem intimidating but are super nice in person! Protective of their loved ones. Goals in terms of swag and athleticism they got. Teach me how to carry myself like you please.

Taurus

The cutest, most amazing (even if a bit stubborn) friends. Best partners for getting food or watching a movie together. Taurus boys are my cryptonite, Taurus girls are the loves of my life. They are very much real in a sense of being human. Sensual, chill and true, really “earthy”. Fake isn’t in their vocabulary. Seriously I know quite a few Tauruses and I love them all to death. Only problem is when we disagree on something major, neither will back down from the argument.

Gemini

I always lowkey hate on them, but they aren’t all that bad; Conversations with them are the most fun, and when I am with them I never get bored; I know a lot of male Gemini’s and no female ones sadly; in general they are nice people but usually fuckboys. Probably wouldn’t date one (but flirting with them is a lot of fun). Good sense of humour.

Cancer

Being a Cancer myself I tend to be drawn to a specific type of Cancer females on social media. Those are the The Moms, their entire vibe is really soft and warm and motherly but also protective and strong. We will cook you dinner because we love you. We are good cooks in general. Foul mouths and will fight you any time. Pretend to be edgy, but we usually aren’t. Crying over our partner (or lack of) all the damn time but usually in private.

Leo

Ughh. Leo females are okay but Leo males? They annoy me to no end and I always bicker with them, but at the same time they are usually really charming so :/. Lowkey hate them and their inflated ego but they are good friends which I appreciate. Loud and sooo in your face but loyal and can take you to the most bizarre and amazing places. Overall infuriating 0/10 do not recommend. (Jk)

Virgo

Okay, so I am biased, but Virgos are literally perfect human beings. They are smart, logical, neat and polished and just ugh. Especially females are really classic beauties with killer fashion sense. Overall all genders seem to have a feminine vibe? It’s sooo hard to get them even remotely interested in you but it’s worth it in the end. Can push you to be the best version of yourself. They can literally step on me. Heart eyes motherfucker.

Libra

Oookay, so. Libras are weird, man. It’s hard to dislike them, because they can be so nice but you never know if they are real nice or fake nice. Seems like usually fake tho. They are super gorgeous, in a very luxurious way and their lives are the true aesthetics. First impression is that they are pretty shallow, but I wouldn’t assume that about people without knowing them.

Scorpio

Damn I love Scorpios! Deep af, people I can talk to about my deepest thoughts, discussing occult stuff, cry on their shoulders or just hug it all out m8. I feel super comfortable with them. Best partners for planning an assassination on your ex (or Trump) tbh. Aesthetics on point as well. I am living for that mysterious grunge shit vibe. You go my bros.

Sagittarius

Don’t hate me for this, but the only sign I usually cannot stand to keep close are Sags. They are amazing conversationalists with the sharpest minds out there and interesting points of view. Talking to them about basically any topic can take hours and not get boring, and you could take them for an adventure for a week and it would be the best choice. But longterm relationship or friendship? Nah. I do not trust.

Capricorn

I have a lot of Capricorn women in my life and I admire them so much. They are so hardworking, punctual and they sacrifice themselves for their loved ones everyday, in every way. Also their love is so good and true, damn. The Cap stereotype is that they are bad with feelings but I strongly disagree. One of the most amazing signs out there. Protect them and treasure them.

Aquarius

Aw my favourite aliens. Just kidding. They are often misunderstood I think, but they are actually super cool. They are not afraid of being different and that’s a really admirable trait imo. Also the best partners for sharing your conspiracy theories with. If you feel like they just walked all over you, they probably didn’t mean it, they just don’t realize it sometimes? The most interesting people to keep around, if you can tolerate their cold exterior.

Pisces

Damn you Pisces. Why you all gotta be so unpredictable. I know a great deal of Pisces people and each of them is so different, it is simply impossible to categorize them in any way lol. My brother is a confident social butterfly. One of my friends is an aesthetics grunge queen with a lot of sadness inside. My other friend is pretty shy and introverted with a lot of super weird quirks (probably the only one fitting the usual Pisces category). Another one is a typical nerd who is however pretty choleric and fake on the inside. And another one was the spawn of satan and literally the ugliest and most selfish person I know. What even are Pisces lmao.

source: shutupbaek

#astrologyy #astrology #fun facts #astrology fun facts #facts #horoscope #zodiac signs #zodiac

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shutupbaek · 7 years

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Sun signs according to people I've met

Aries

Taurus

The cutest, most amazing (even if a bit stubborn) friends. Best partners for getting food or watching a movie together. Taurus boys are my cryptonite, Taurus girls are the loves of my life. They are very much real in a sense of being human. Sensual, chill and true, really "earthy". Fake isn't in their vocabulary. Seriously I know quite a few Tauruses and I love them all to death. Only problem is when we disagree on something major, neither will back down from the argument.

Gemini

I always lowkey hate on them, but they aren't all that bad; Conversations with them are the most fun, and when I am with them I never get bored; I know a lot of male Gemini's and no female ones sadly; in general they are nice people but usually fuckboys. Probably wouldn't date one (but flirting with them is a lot of fun). Good sense of humour.

Cancer

Being a Cancer myself I tend to be drawn to a specific type of Cancer females on social media. Those are the The Moms, their entire vibe is really soft and warm and motherly but also protective and strong. We will cook you dinner because we love you. We are good cooks in general. Foul mouths and will fight you any time. Pretend to be edgy, but we usually aren't. Crying over our partner (or lack of) all the damn time but usually in private.

Leo

Virgo

Okay, so I am biased, but Virgos are literally perfect human beings. They are smart, logical, neat and polished and just ugh. Especially females are really classic beauties with killer fashion sense. Overall all genders seem to have a feminine vibe? It's sooo hard to get them even remotely interested in you but it's worth it in the end. Can push you to be the best version of yourself. They can literally step on me. Heart eyes motherfucker.

Libra

Oookay, so. Libras are weird, man. It's hard to dislike them, because they can be so nice but you never know if they are real nice or fake nice. Seems like usually fake tho. They are super gorgeous, in a very luxurious way and their lives are the true aesthetics. First impression is that they are pretty shallow, but I wouldn't assume that about people without knowing them.

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Don't hate me for this, but the only sign I usually cannot stand to keep close are Sags. They are amazing conversationalists with the sharpest minds out there and interesting points of view. Talking to them about basically any topic can take hours and not get boring, and you could take them for an adventure for a week and it would be the best choice. But longterm relationship or friendship? Nah. I do not trust.

Capricorn

Aquarius

Aw my favourite aliens. Just kidding. They are often misunderstood I think, but they are actually super cool. They are not afraid of being different and that's a really admirable trait imo. Also the best partners for sharing your conspiracy theories with. If you feel like they just walked all over you, they probably didn't mean it, they just don't realize it sometimes? The most interesting people to keep around, if you can tolerate their cold exterior.

Pisces

#astrology #personal #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #zodiac #zodiac aesthetic #zodiac text post

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fem-mem-mine · 3 years

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How Conservatism Failed Its Women

By Lili Loofbourow Nov 02, 2020

My politics are progressive now, but I was raised conservative among conservatives. A lot of the people my family spent time with were hardcore right-wingers, some of them John Birch Society members (or sympathetic ex-members—when the JBS became too racist toward Hispanics, which many of us were, some broke off but otherwise hewed closely to its principles). In California, extreme conservatism made me something of an outsider. It often seemed to me that the liberal milieu in which I lived misjudged us—stereotyped us as believing things I did not think we believed. Or accused us of hypocrisies I did not think we harbored. The conservatives I grew up around were charitable and generous—they welcomed strangers to their social gatherings with open arms. They were ideological in ways I found stringent and uncompromising, certainly, but admirable for all that. Their beliefs seemed sincere and foundational. They required (at least in theory) self-discipline and sacrifice. The men made mean jokes and were unquestionably sexist, and yes, I was tasked with politely pretending to find them funny when they weren’t. (“Impeach Clinton and her husband” was the height of comedy.) They were homophobic and attached to displays of national power. But their principled commitments seemed sincere, and they appeared to live in accordance with them. They supported their families. They weren’t wealthy, just averse to government interference. And their revulsion toward Bill Clinton’s sexual conduct, to take one example, seemed visceral, not partisan. I found their anger and their authority a little bit scary, even if some respected me for being smart (for a girl).

And as far as I could tell, the women took a lot of pride in the position they occupied, even if it was structurally subordinate, and even if some were clearly smarter and more capable than their partners. I could not reconcile this—the notion of assenting to a false inferiority seemed slightly dishonest to me—but it was clear to me that they could and I respected that. They cooked and fed improbable numbers of people with good humor and endless patience. Many of them worked, but work wasn’t the point. All in all, these were people who believed in things and spent a lot of time at activist gatherings that mixed fun with a smattering of outsider pride.

But the older I got, the more I heard. A couple of the women I looked up to and loved turned out to be abused by their husbands. I heard one advise another to deal with it by crying in the closet. (I also watched one woman help another get out of her abusive marriage to a man with many guns—she made it, but she was not seen in the group again. The cost of leaving seemed to be extremely high. He remained.) As an adolescent, I became conscious of a slight but definite creepiness some married men expressed toward me and the other girls my age. In time I would hear this wasn’t unusual, and that when it happened, the women they targeted tended to lose out: When one married man was found to have groped another woman in the group (she rejected him), his wife defended him and called the other woman a liar and worse. She stopped coming. He stayed. Women kept disappearing from the circle. I missed them. Whatever sexual degeneracy the men vituperated against in others was somehow defined out of their own conduct, unpoliced. They joked and debated and sometimes shot at targets outside while the women cleaned up, and the fantasy of male protection started to seem increasingly unstable: When it became known in the group that a woman had said she was raped, she was neither treated well nor universally believed. And so, too, predictably, we saw her less.

The rules were acquiring a certain vaguely authoritarian arbitrariness, in short, which I can best explain with a story: One abusive husband wanted to show off his son’s obedience to the assembled company. I had spent a lot of time with the little boy; his eyes were watchful and it was virtually impossible to get him to talk. The topic had been responsible gun ownership, and the father told us all he had taught the boy not to touch his weapons under any circumstance. He put his revolver on the coffee table to show us how well he’d trained his son. “Bring that gun to me,” he kept saying to the boy, who, confused and fearful, finally obeyed. The man’s face fell; he was humiliated and angry. The boy would be punished.

These were people I loved. They were practically family, and there’s a lot of joy and beauty in my memories. I was treated kindly. The kids I grew up with are dear to me still, though we don’t see each other much anymore. And sometimes it seemed like the system worked: The men were slightly pampered would-be warriors upholding standards a decadent culture had let lapse while the women cleaned and cooked for them, and the women liked that the men acted like and considered themselves providers and protectors. In practice, that protection rarely materialized: Whenever the men did something damaging or disruptive, they stayed and the women left. In practice, what I witnessed repeatedly was how the women protected the men against consequences, even social ones. I did not know how to fit into this innocently—or whether I could opt out. Once, when I was 7 or so, one of the men (who was white) used me to humiliate his errant Hispanic nephew on whom I had a silly crush. The boy, some five or six years older than me, had trouble reading, so I was instructed to read a passage from his book in front of him. The objective was clearly to shame the boy. I did it, vaguely understanding that my being a girl was an unspoken factor redoubling his shame. I read as fast and as well as I could. I was trying to escape my own small share of humiliation by proving that girls were smart, but that was the wrong quest just then and I couldn’t figure out how to pivot. I sided with the man against the boy and against myself. I will always regret this. I don’t know whether that particular incident marked the boy, but he eventually disappeared too.

There were many such attempts to harden boys (and to soften girls), and it was clear that people were unconsciously carried along by—and consciously making trades to preserve—a way of living that prized authority and punished weakness. Not surprisingly, I didn’t want to be the weaker sort, and I resented my own femaleness. The men seemed to have more power and less stress. I wanted to rise to their challenge, live up to their stringent definitions of freedom, share in their fun, participate in their anger. I never did, of course. My place was with the women whom I loved but whose conversation seemed, by comparison, more constrained—gossipy and sometimes parochial in its adherence to punishing social standards.

Then came a shock: After one beloved matriarch’s genial but dominating husband died, she became far more easygoing and philosophical and—to my surprise—liberal. Abortion came up in conversation, and she stunned me by gingerly approving of it; being pro-life at the time, I found myself in the bizarre position of arguing against a person whose positions I had found formative. I see now that she hadn’t felt at liberty to express the full range of her convictions while her husband was alive. I spent the final years of her life getting to know the real her in puzzled gulps. And realizing that the earlier framework I thought I’d been taught by her was treacherous—beliefs cannot be borrowed or inherited, even from people you love. Or maybe: What women say they believe changes once the men who need them to believe those things die.

What happened next is no secret since you’re reading this. I acquired different ideas, tested them out, found them persuasive and drifted away. It was painful at first; being an outsider to outsiders doesn’t help you belong anywhere much. But even as recently as five years ago, when Donald Trump was leading early GOP primary polling, if you had asked me, I would still have said that the people I grew up with, and who mean a great deal to me, felt everything they said they believed in. I would have defended their values as real and from the heart despite notable (but perhaps human?) hypocrisies. Because I saw how they reacted to the Clinton scandal, I wouldn’t have guessed that a single one would support Donald Trump—a former Democrat! an immoral playboy! a corrupt con artist!—especially after the Access Hollywood tape. But most of them did. And still do.

I am not proud to admit how unprepared I was for this revelation. Naiveté is embarrassing to confess to, but there it is. Five years ago, I still thought ultraconservative men did sincerely want to protect the women in their lives, however frequently they failed, from threats including those posed by bad and predatory men. Trump proved otherwise, and I find myself disgusted by that violation of the bargain all those women actually did honor. I’d witnessed so much stern political fanaticism, and it had come with an extremely high price tag—for women. The protection the men offered was theoretical, but the sacrifices the women made to sustain the ultraconservative American dream were real, and included assenting to a lower-power status in exchange for an idealistic, family-first vision of protection and respect. In practice, it frequently required jettisoning their own close friends in order to mask male misconduct. Yes, this was a trade I avoided: The nebulous benefits of gun-toting chivalry were not, in my view, worth the constant, everyday sacrifices it exacted from its female beneficiaries. I am nevertheless chilled on behalf of the women I knew to find that there was no substance to it at all. Their financial and social subjugation in this grand patriarchal bargain between the sexes was quite real, but the political framework that made it necessary was fake—for the men, it turned out to be little more than a pretext, or a binding agent, or a game. The contract was no contract at all but a rule they could make and break on a whim, and at their pleasure.

Republicans had to normalize Trump, and they did it so easily it barely registered, even if it meant denigrating men in general by redefining him as typical and writing women out of the ability to testify altogether. Any woman who came forward to talk about Trump’s treatment of her was immediately labeled a bad actor trying to take a good man down. What Republicans floated in 2016 was a country that would be a safe space for men in which women—and children—would not get in their way. The party of personal responsibility offered up a new, more accurate version of its social contract, one that conferred great power on men with no responsibility at all.

The politics of sex are the politics of power. The majority of white men who still support Trump and the women who remain loyal are supporting a vision of power expressed as wealth and impunity—where his lies and corruption are a feature, not a bug. This may also underpin the growing male support for Trump in Black and Hispanic communities. It conceives of power as a limited resource that needs to be not just hoarded but abused. The power to be arbitrary—unconstrained by rules, but free to punish and enforce them on others—is seductive.

A lot of women have turned against Trump. I don’t know if conservative women, for whom the promise of protection must matter in order to make wifely obedience worthwhile, are reevaluating some of the bargains they made in light of how baldly their men have sided against them. (There have been several memorable anecdotes during this election cycle about women not wanting their husbands to know they are voting Democratic. And men advising each other to “make sure your wife votes exactly as you do.”) But for people like me, who drifted uneasily away, sometimes wondering if we’d been wrong to do so, or overshot, or missed something crucial about the holy bargain of “submitting” to a man in exchange for his sacred protection, seeing Trump as the purest expression of that patriarchal ideal—unfettered by ethics, enlivened by cruelty—has been clarifying.

#2020-campaign #donald-trump #sexism #men #women

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thorndale-industries · 6 years

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name : Robert Page nickname : Bob, Robs sex : Male romantic orientation : Bisexual preferred pet names : Dearest, My Love, Darling, (My Queen) (for partners) relationship status : Married (since 2025) favorite canon ship : / favorite non-canon ship : Pale ( x Gillian Thorndale) opinion on true love : It does exist, but it’s not the ultimate thing that overrules everything. He does believe in the concept of a soulmate, someone who complements someone in every way - and someone who is worth the compromises and changes. But at the same time, he will always remain selfish and egoistic, and his own goals are his priority. It’s desirable when his partner shares his views and supports him (he demands it), but he won’t stop just because they want him to. No one will be in his way. opinion on love at first sight : He certainly knows that physical attraction and interest at first sight exists, but it doesn’t extent to romantic or even sexual attraction. You cannot feel connected on a deeper level without knowing someone. how ‘romantic’ are they? : He enjoys certain aspects of traditional romance, like sending gifts and flowers to his lover’s workplace, making them breakfast in bed, slow dancing and love letters. But at the same time, he doesn’t approve of the concept that this gestures are ��necessary” to let someone know they are loved and that every aspect of life has to be shared - they are just a nice addition. Page also enjoys showing his affection in public and doesn’t shy away from kisses in front of others. ideal physical traits : Physically fit, as health and sports are important to him and he expects his partner to be able to join his workouts, well groomed (is ok with being sloppy in private), strong facial traits like jaw and cheekbones unattractive physical traits : Unfit, ”undefined traits” as in too soft/round, rough skin, ungroomed beards in men, (a too high pitched voice in women) unattractive personality traits : Lack of interest in science, progress and math, disloyalty, aimlessness, clinging, dependence ideal date : Being completely alone with his partner without any distractions - a remote location, an entire restaurant booked for them, phones turned off - and just enjoying each other’s presence do they have a type? : In women, he highly enjoys a dominant and very confident appearance - a woman that know exactly what she wants and won’t bow in front of others. This paired with intelligence, ability to command and an elegant way of moving. In men, he often likes the opposite - submissive, someone who knows his place and likes to step aside. Also quiet but intelligent. average relationship length : Gillian is his first and only long-term relationship. His past ones always failed and didn’t last very long because of his infamous temper, selfishness and even abusive and violent (as in smashing and throwing things) behaviour. He was not interested in changing himself for companionship. He demanded a lot without offering the same in return - he was a taker instead of a giver. preferred non-sexual intimacy: Cuddling while watching a movie, playing a game or reading a book. Alternatively: Hugging his partner from behind, his head resting on their shoulder while enjoying a nice view (the stars, a cityscape, Earth from Heaven,...) commitment level : 100%, he enjoys the power he has over people, but is not interested in sexual conquest past relationships? : A short liaison during highschool with a girl that didn't go beyond kissing and cuddling, an ex-husband (married in 2015, divorced in late 2016)

name : Dr. Gillian Eryl Thorndale nickname : Gil sex : Female romantic orientation : Bisexual preferred pet names : Darling, Honey, My King, (rarely for Robert: Gingerpie) (for partners) relationship status : Married (since 2025) favorite canon ship : / favorite non-canon ship : Pale ( x Bob Page) opinion on true love : She has nearly the same views as Robert. It’s a thing, she believes she has found it in her husband and that they are 2 pieces that create a whole. But it’s not the most important thing in the world, and sometimes it can be in the way of progress. Love might be unconditional, but relationships are not. Sacrifices and compromises have to be made for the greater goal. opinion on love at first sight : It doesn’t exist, if any attraction at first sight is felt, Gillian strongly believes it’s nothing but the primal urge to have sex with an physically attractive person. A primal instinct that doesn’t have to do anything with love. If anything, it only sets the first stone for something in the future, a spark of interest. how ‘romantic’ are they? : Gillain isn’t a fan of broad gestures, although she really enjoys all the gifts she gets from Robert - it’s nice to enter her office or her house and have something waiting for her. She also loves to leave behind little notes hidden in his apartment whenever she leaves HK to return to London - it’s like a game they have developed over the years. She likes to hold his hands or have any kind of physical contact to him in public but refrains from actualy PDA like kissing or even making out. Pampering Robert does happen though - his happiness is her happiness and if there are any issues, she won’t hesitate from taking the next flight to him. Romantic songs, movies, huge confessions of love (as in: candles and rose petals everywhere, combined with a very sabby love song and a 20 minutes speech) are something she really, really doesn’t want her partner to do - it’s embarrassing and unnecessary. “I love you”, is something she barely says, but she expresses it differently. ideal physical traits : Something outside the “perfect” image , especially on the face - marks, scars (as long as not too big), rare hair or eye colours (and has a slighty weakness for wrinkles around the eye corners and dimples). Physically fit/good posture, soft skin unattractive physical traits : Being “too smooth” (this is why she disliked it a lot when Robert got rid of his beard, but calmed down when he got augmented), facial piercings besides earrings, blowsy skin (as in too dry/rough), suits with bad fit unattractive personality traits : “Yes sayers”, people without a backbone, no special interests/lack of interest in science, too apologetic, people who think they can outsmart her ideal date : Honestly? She found great joy in just enjoying the view on Earth with Robert, their apartment/suite at Heaven has turned into somewhat of a sanctuary, a place to be able to breathe and dream with the man who reigns with her. In additions to this, cooking together (creating a mess in the kitchen), while laughing and feeding each other. do they have a type? : She has the same preferences in men and women: Someone confident and independent, about her height, a strong jaw and short, well-groomed hair paired with bright eyes. Bonus points if the man has a stubble. (Is secretly very turned on by the fact that Robert pays a lot of attention to his body and looks) average relationship length : Short-term, except for Robert. Gillian has the tendency to be barely invested into a relationship and neglects her partners. Especially in her younger years, she entered relationships more because it was somehow expected and something you were doing, and not because she was actually interested or attracted. And her partners very quickly understood that they were more of a decoration and not part of Gillian’s life. preferred non-sexual intimacy: Actually, she feels deeply connected to her partner while doing activites - even the most mundane - together. Robert joining in her morning runs with their dog (and they don’t have to talk), cooking together (especially this), playing a game together. And when Robert puts her head on his chest when she feels anxious or can’t sleep - hearing his heartbeat is like an ultimate remedy. commitment level : 100%, using sex just for personal fun outside of relationships or as a weapon are like an insult to her. She highly judges everyone who follows their primal instincts, especially in sexual contexts. Gillian did not enjoy the short-term, “friends with benefits” type of relationships she had, and therefore broke them off very quickly. Also, she barely feels anything romantic or sexual for anyone, it’s more of an exception. past relationships? : A girlfriend for a few months when she was 16 and visiting a private school, one short-term affair/friends with benefits with a male co-student and a “long-term” girlfriend during her time in Japan

tagged by @agentannakelso

#//office meetings and dinner parties [Memes]#//a new dynasty out of ashes [Gillian & Robert]#//anatomy of prodigies [Headcanon]

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