#to be clear this is a 'before' picture from like 4 years ago lol

[dufrau]

The vet says Aggie is the perfect weight now but Rosey could lose a little weight and Eddie is fat little chumbleboy (my words). How the tables have turned! (Aggie was very fat when we adopted her)

#always a supermodel #aggie girl #cats #to be clear this is a 'before' picture from like 4 years ago lol #she weighed like 14lbs when we got her #now she's a little under 10lbs #eddie weighs the same as her now! #rosey is still under 15lbs so if he's gained weight its less than a pound since his last visit so they can chill out about him #he's a big long boy he's not fat

[diaprincess-dl]

First of all, thank you for who you are, and especially for choosing to share it with the world.

I am DL, with very few AB tendencies, if I understand correctly, you are also like that, with a connection to the DL world mainly.

There are very few women in the community in general, and in particular those who are DL. It's really refreshing to see that the first girl I notice that she's DL, she's also the most amazing beauty I've ever seen wearing diapers, and with a face that has real angelic cuteness.

I wanted to ask, and I would be very happy if you could answer, Even if not a complete answer, at least to know that you read and saw what I wrote, it will be very, very flattering to me.

When did you start wanting to wear a diaper? Is it sexual? If so, at what age did you realize it was related to sexual arousal? And if not, what in your soul makes you want this? At what age did you first put on diapers after initial weaning from diapers? And according to the fact that you had, from what I understand, late night wets, did your parents force you to wear a diaper? And when was the first time you put on a diaper in a section where it was clear to you that it was a so-called 'forbidden act'?

Sorry for the flood of questions.

I had a theory that was destroyed because of you, that these are only men can be a DL, because the sexual sensation associated with diapers somehow comes from stimulation and friction of the genital organ at a very young age in a diaper, which causes the brain to develop something very primitive to want a diaper, something that, technically, does not happen with women or should not happen for obvious reasons. And this is the reason that from the very, very basic tests I did, a lot of DL, these are children who were weaned at a relatively late age, 3, 4 and even 5. Then they develop the desire to wear a diaper, and at the age of 13 or so, it develops into something sexual. And that is why women are not DL, because the stimulation is supposed to be a lot more rarer.

One last thing I want to tell you is that the day I see a picture of you with a soaked diaper under your clothes, my day looks like rainbow.

Thank you so much for this!!!

Hiiyaaa 💕👸🏼

Thank you for such a kind message 🤗 I am definitely more into the DL side of things, you are absolutely correct but I do love some aspects of the AB side, I just don’t tend to share them online as much.

So I just started kindof dabbling in the world of diapers a few years ago, but had been wetting my pants and bed (some accidents, some on purpose) for literal years before I discovered the idea of wearing diapers… When I was a teen I went through phases where I would wet my bed like every night on purpose and then try to hide the evidence in the morning from my parents 🤦🏼‍♀️ they mentioned things a couple of times, but nowhere near the amount I was actually wetting the bed… they probably knew though lol.. l I definitely have a watersports kink, absolutely 🙊. Anyway I felt so silly for not thinking about the idea of using diapers sooner but diapers just never occurred to me lol. A few years back I saw my first porn video with another girl in a diaper and I was just in awe and had to try it myself 🤭.

Slowly I started to indulge more and more into blogs and personal ab/dl blogs to the point that I just kindof gradually mentally got myself in a space where I thought that I could try wearing diapers more often, which started off as just at night (when I was 26 to answer one of your questions)…. But somewhere in this phase I realized the convenience aspect of wearing 👀.. I could actually go through a full night in bed without having to get up to pee, so what started as a kink lead to discovering more than just that. I started wearing diapers all night, every night and just got used to waking up and wetting them, but this slowly, and I do mean slowly, about a year of wearing every night, turned into me starting to barely remember waking up to wet and eventually just flat out not remembering/not waking up and wetting myself most nights of the week. This was kindof scary but also turned me on? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤭 sooo I just kept doing it.

Here’s where the “convenience” aspect let me start wearing during the day: long road trips or long days out with my partner meant there was no real good spots to stop for the restroom all of the time. Things like concerts or big gatherings where there is drinking and long lines for the ladies room… I started wearing diapers to some of these things, not much as first but when I’d go back to not being diapered and have to suffer waiting in line, or waiting for a pit stop.. it was those moments that I seriously realized how much better it was being padded 💡 It was a little scary at first wearing diapers in public, especially wetting them.. also especially because I typically wear leggings or short dresses, so there is always some way that it can be seen. I’ve slowly just started to realize most people don’t care what you’re wearing for underwear, especially strangers. Friends on the other hand… 😬🫠 I know that some of my friends have noticed my diapers. I’ve had friends over for wine nights and forgot (on multiple occasions) to throw away my night time diapey and it was folded up on the bathroom floor and two of my friends went in there before I had went in and noticed. I’ve had a leak while waiting for a cab with my other friend and it was just us waiting outside in the quiet and I know she could hear the leaking onto the pavement. I also have multiple pictures on here of a diaper(s) I was wearing for while we were all hanging out…. So like all that and many other random occasions I’m sure lots of my friends know I wear diapers, I’m just waiting for someone to say something 🙊🙊 but part of me knowing they know, secretly turns me on? I’m super weird 🫠

So anyway since I knew there was a really big and accepting community out there for this, I finally got the courage to make a blog on Tumblr. It actually just started out as a personal blog for myself to be honest. Just a place where I could document my progress and share this side of me, for pictures I could go back and look at… I had no idea it would blow up like this. 😳 but I am extremely grateful and happy about it 💕💕

I wear diapers all of the time now, and am 100% nighttime bladder incontinent, and daytime at this point of a year wearing diapers 24/7 and NEVER trying to hold it….. I’m like basically there for daytime incontinence. 2 years ago I could totally hold it for hours like any other girl, but now I legitimately need diapers to keep me ‘dry’. I did it all to myself and part of me can’t believe it, but most of me is really happy I did it to myself 💕

#diaperdependent #diaper dependent #ab/dl #ab/dl community #ab/dl lifestyle #ab/dl babygirl #ab/dl diaper

[star-going-supernova]

I’m not really sure how to word this? Here’s a prompt for you I guess? Gregory would 100% take a photo in front of his missing poster smiling with a peace sign. Also I think he’s just the type of gremlin to take one of them for himself much to everyone’s exasperation.

Tumblr generated prompt number 4, here we go! Gregory and Cassie are both in their late teens here, in their first year of college. This is pretty slice-of-life-y with no clear connection to any AU other than a generally happy one.

title is a play on the saying “not all who wander are lost”

Not All Who Have Missing Posters are Lost

Gregory pulled out his phone and opened the camera app. Leaning against the telephone pole, he threw up a peace sign and grinned. Satisfied with the picture, he sent it to the group chat. 

Gregory

image_attachment.87265032 lol good times :) 

He stowed his phone in his pocket, mentally counting down until it started blowing up with messages. Then he carefully tore the missing poster bearing his face—albeit his much younger face—off the pole and tucked it into his laptop bag. 

He walked the rest of the way to the bus stop, letting his phone vibrate every few seconds, and only once he’d sat down did he pull it back out, snickering as he read through the small backlog. 

Cassie

XD you’re still finding those?? 

Vanessa 

oh my gosh pull it down pull it down we do NOT need a repeat of two years ago

Roxy 

who was even looking for you, lol

Freddy

Roxy! Do not be rude! 

Cassie

you look so young. so innocent.

Roxy

yeah but we know better ah dang it, i can feel fazbear’s disapproval from across the plex 

Bonnie

You were such a cute kid! Look at those cheeks!

Vanessa

seriously, though, what part of town is that? if there’s one, there might be more

Chica

Oooh! Congrats on adding another to your collection :)

Monty 

lol nice

Freddy

Are you on your way home, superstar? 

Roxy 

wee woo, dad alert! you know the rules, no sappiness in the group chat, fazbear

Freddy

What was sappy about that?

Cassie

if nicknames count, Roxy, you’ll have to start calling me by my name now 

Roxy 

… fiiiine, i take it back 

Gregory 

XD yes, Ness, I tore it down, and it was on Reed St, but it looked like some other posters had been taken off recently, exposing this one, so i don’t think it’s a widespread issue yes, Dad, I’m on my way back. just got on the bus, should be there in 10 mins 

He stayed on his phone for the rest of the ride, confirming their plans for dinner later. Cassie had finished her final exams the day before, so she’d already been by the pizzaplex to say hi to everyone. 

The bus dropped him off just down the street from the pizzaplex, and though early December was chilly, he enjoyed the bite in the air. There’d be snow soon, he was sure, and he was looking forward to some lazy days with a mug of hot chocolate and a warm blanket. 

Gregory’s first semester of college had been awesome, but he was happy to be home, and even happier to find Freddy waiting inside the side entrance that Gregory favored. He stepped forward into his adoptive dad’s arms, marveling yet again that he was taller than Freddy’s shoulders these days. 

“Welcome home, Gregory,” Freddy said softly. 

“I missed you,” Gregory told him, holding on tight. He sighed contentedly, the remaining stress from exams draining away. 

“Your winter break lasts a month and a half, correct?” 

“Mhm. And I plan on staying here for all of it.” 

“Good. The others have been looking forward to your return.” 

Gregory pulled back and unzipped his coat. “Just the others?” he teased. 

Freddy cleared his throat, which was as good a sign as any of his sheepishness (he’d probably been beside himself with excitement), and followed after Gregory as they descended into the basement, where Gregory had commandeered several rooms for his own use years ago. Vanessa had offered him a room in her house, but he’d politely declined, though he’d slept over there many times over the years. He was just too attached to the pizzaplex and its inhabitants, and also his independence. 

After popping into his bedroom to drop off his bags and coat, he quickly went into his workroom. It held his desk and bookshelves and the different personal projects he’d tinkered with over the years, and it also held his wall of missing posters. 

Freddy chuckled from the doorway as Gregory used sticky-tack to affix it into an empty space. It was almost like wallpaper, over two dozen posters with slight variations plastered edge to edge. Some were black and white, some were in color, and there was a variety of childhood pictures used among them. His favorite was one that misspelled his name as Gegory. That one was carefully framed. His second favorite, also framed, was a homemade wanted poster that Cassie given him for his fourteenth birthday. 

Gregory stepped back and surveyed his wall with his hands on his hips. “Perfect,” he said, pleased. 

“If you are satisfied,” Freddy said, “then we should go meet the others. Bonnie and Chica are relentlessly spamming me with frowny faces because I am ‘hogging you.’” 

“Tell them it’s your dad rights,” Gregory said, even as he bounded from the room, eager to reunite with the rest of his family. “Is Vanessa around? Is she still the junior location manager, or did they promote her again?” 

“She has been fending off a promotion for two weeks now. They reached a stalemate yesterday when she threatened to quit.” 

“They always fall for that,” Gregory snickered. “As if this is the time she’s gonna pack her bags, psh.” 

“They have been getting faster about calling her bluff,” Freddy mused wryly. 

They got in an elevator, and as they went up, they listened to the awful elevator music that hadn’t changed since Gregory was ten years old and running around the pizzaplex for the first time. 

“I am glad you are back,” Freddy said after a few moments. “I know you need to go and experience the world, and I would never want to hold you back from that. But I hope you know you will always have a home here, with us.” 

Gregory shuffled sideways to be tucked into Freddy’s side. “Aw, Dad. No matter how far I go or how long I’m gone, I promise—I’ll always come back. No one’s gonna need missing posters for me again.”

#i answered a thing #anonymous #fnaf fic #fnaf security breach #fnaf ruin #star's stories #life and times of star

[chaotic-on-main]

Hi Sky! I was so excited to see you’re having an event. Congrats for the 250 followers!

I’d like a matcha with cookie crumbles (Levi hurt/comfort). My mother passed away this time four years ago, and it’s always a hard time for me. I was hoping you could write something with Levi helping me through, or maybe us helping each other, since we’ve both experienced that loss.

Thanks!✨💗

Order up!! One matcha with cookie crumbles for Sailor!!

Sky's Summer and 250 Follower Event!

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x gn!Reader

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ hurt/comfort, implied (best?) friends to lovers, parent death mentions, grief

☾ Author's Note ➼ Hi Sailor!! Thank you so much for sending in a request! Sorry it took me some time to get to it though. I was struggling a bit as I have a hard time connecting with this kind of grief. But I think my little sad one-shot about Levi dying opened the floodgates for me so to speak lol. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, I can't even imagine. I hope this brings you some comfort. <3

Oh shit I forgot to credit @humanitys-strongest-bamf for helping me with the text message convo! Big thanks to her!! Sorry for fucking up your AI tho :c

☾ Word Count ➼ ~1.2k

Sleep doesn’t come easily to you the way it did a month ago. It’s nothing you’re surprised about though; this was normal for this time of year – as it always had been the past 4 years. At this point, it felt as if your body internalized a clock specifically for the month of June. And you hated it.

You find yourself staring up at the dark ceiling. The streetlight right outside your window filters in through your curtains and hits against the wall to the left of you, lighting the room up in a yellowish-orange hue. When you turn your head to the side, you see the clock on the nightstand that reads 1:19 AM in bright red numbers. A car drives past the window, headlights glaring into your room momentarily before driving off into the night.

With a huff, you roll over to your side and grab the cellphone that sits on the side table, unplugged with the charging cable missing. When you click the side button, your eyes squint from the sudden brightness.

A few notifications occupy half the screen, all from the various social media apps that currently sit idle in the background. None of them substantial enough to warrant your attention, of course. No, the reason you grabbed your phone is to message the one number that belonged to the one person you knew would be up at such a late time.  

Your ringtone goes off suddenly, the loud noise causing you to flinch. Levi’s caller ID pops up along with the picture you had chosen without his consent – his face half hidden in a rain jacket hood as he looks over to you. It was from a day a couple of months ago when you both got left at a bus stop and had to find your way back home. It was a snapshot from one of your favorite days with him.

You tap the green icon and press the phone up against your ear as you sit up in bed.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He says back, his flat tone flowing through his mouthpiece and right into your ear. The calm that comes with Levi washes over you instantly.  

“You didn’t have to call.” You scoot back to lean against your headboard as you stare ahead into your room. It’s small and decorated minimally. Mainly because you barely spend much time here to begin with, generally opting to stay in your very personalized office a couple doors down.

“You sound like you need company. Want me to come over?”

“No!” You say quickly as well as a little louder than intended. You clear your throat before continuing, “No. No it’s okay. This is fine. I don’t want to trouble you.”

“If you didn’t want to trouble me, you wouldn’t have texted.” A hint of playful sarcasm slips into his deep voice.

“I- yeah. Again, that’s fair.”

Silence falls upon the room. It’s never uncomfortable for you two. Being friends for years comes with perks like that.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He mumbles from the other side. There’s a slight rustling from his end before it stops and all you hear is his soft breathing.

“I don’t know if there's anything else you don’t know.”

“No, but sometimes it helps to talk.” That makes you purse your lips. Raindrops hit your bedroom window, soft but loud enough to reverberate through the room. You don’t recall rain being in the forecast, but that’s summer you suppose. Random thunderstorms at 1:30 in the morning.

“I’m just really frustrated with myself.” You huff out eventually.

You pick at the soft throw that sits on top of your plush comforter. It was a gift from Levi a couple years ago from his own apartment. You said you liked it so much and would claim it every time you all had your weekly group hangouts at his place. He cut out the middleman and gifted it to you. You never struck up the courage to tell him you liked it so much because it smelled of him and it was ironed just right.

“What about this time?”

“I just- it’s been years and my body still won’t let me sleep during this time of year. Once the months turn warm, it’s like I’m not allowed rest. When is this supposed to get easier?” You mutter softly. The rain starts coming down harder, painting your window with rainfall. The yellow glow from the streetlight turns hazy and adds an interesting effect against your wall.

“Grief is funny like that.” Levi mutters back.

“Funny?” You raise an eyebrow; not like he could see it.

“Yes, funny. It’s different for everyone. But one thing stays the same and it’s that even though it may feel like it’s disappearing, it will always come back when you least expect it.”

“What does it mean when I’m expecting it though?”

“That just makes you weird, I guess.” Levi jokes back dryly, though you hear a hint of a smile on the other side, so you know he’s not being serious.

“Your mom meant a lot to you. She was your best friend. Pain like this takes a long time to heal from, you just need to be patient with yourself.”

“Levi… how long did it take you to… you know. When your mom passed?”

There’s silence besides the soft breathing coming from Levi’s end.

“Longer than I’d like, but eventually there came a day where it didn’t hit as hard. I woke up one day and suddenly, thinking about her didn’t ache as much. It worried me at first, actually.” He mumbles.

“Why?” Your eyes drift back over to the window. A distant roll of thunder sounds off.

“It made me feel like a bad son.” He clicks his tongue. A habit he does when annoyed.

“That’s so silly, Levi. You know that’s not true.”

“Yeah, well. It still made me feel like I didn’t love her as much as before. I couldn’t stop thinking I wasn’t as upset because I was moving on from her.”

A soft sigh.

“I realized it was because I had grown to accept her passing. And in truth, I love her even more from it. Every sad thought of her being gone is replaced with the memories I have of her. That will happen to you one day. You’ll wake up and suddenly it won’t hurt as bad.”

“You think so?” You mumble. You don’t notice the tears dripping from your chin onto the soft shirt you were ‘sleeping’ in. Wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, you sniffle as you tuck yourself into your blankets a little more. “Thanks, Levi.”

Instead of a response from Levi, you hear a rattle of keys as well as the closing of a door through the speaker.

“What are you doing?” You bolt upright, your sheets flipping over from the force of your body.

“I’m on my way to you. You said you bought a new tin of tea that I want to try. I’ll see you soon.” He says quickly before clicking off the line. You pull the phone away from your ear and stare down at Levi’s contact screen.

Tea, huh?

#sky's summer event #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #asks #answered #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #x reader #hurt/comfort #cw death

[loveelle]

Thank you, Jerry~ Part 3

Luke Patterson x Alive!Reader Series

Summary: After getting an afternoon free from the band, Luke decides to see his parents, only to find out something he wasn’t expecting.

A/N: Miss me? I know you did, don’t lie. Lol anyways, here I am once again asking for forgiveness for disappearing along with the promise that it will probably happen again :) Part 4 is in the works and I know that I updated part 2 to this literally last year, but in my defense, time is irrelevant to me. Enjoy and please leave me feedback... dear god, please...

WC: 5.2K

SERIES MASTER

Part 3: You’re a good listener for a dead guy

---

You wake up easy this morning despite how late you ended up staying talking with Jerry. It’s weird, for what this friendship is, Jerry is really easy to talk to. As you roll over on your bed to grab your phone, your hand hits a little sticky note on top of it. You furrow your brows, peeling the note off your phone in confusion. The confusion turns into a small smile the moment you read the words scratched on it.

Good morning :)

- Jerry

It was nice waking up to a little message from Jerry, you felt really bad having fallen asleep in the middle of the conversation. You roll out of bed and stand in front of your photo montage on your wall. It didn’t feel right to have all these pictures of your friends and not include something- even something as small as a note- from your newest friend so you stuck Jerry’s note on the wall. It fit in well with some of the other memories you had up there.

You like it.

Even though you didn’t know, Luke was watching you put his little letter up on the wall. He wasn’t being a creepy stalker watching you, or at least he convinced himself, but he popped back in a few minutes ago just to make sure you were awake, and he caught the idea for a note and well, he couldn’t help himself. He stands idly in front of your closet with his hands stuck in his pockets as he rocks on his heels. You’re scribbling something on a little sticky note as well and Luke can’t get a good look until you finish, glance around your room in thought for a moment and stick the paper to the lamp with a nod.

Perfect, you smile to yourself before starting to get ready for the day. Luke wants to stay with you, to see if you want another conversation before but then he watches as you pause in the middle of the routine and clear your throat.

“Um, Jerry?” You begin, making Luke furrow his brows, “I don’t know if you’re here or not, but um… I have to change.”

Luke’s eyes widen as his cheeks heat up. He gives you one final glance, watching as you stand there unsure before he pops out of your room.

It’s quiet as you count to 10 in your head and shrug. “Well, that should be enough time.” You decide before moving to continue on with your routine and getting to school.

---

Your name is screamed almost the moment you step foot in the front door. Widening your eyes, you look for the source of the scream, only to see Julie and Flynn heading your way. You relax, throwing a smile on your face for your new alive friends.

“Well, don’t you guys look excited.” You chuckle as they arrive in front of you, turning around and throwing their arms over your shoulders to walk into the school with you.

“Well, Julie here, has a gig tonight.” Flynn tells you, shooting a look to her best friend around you and you look at her as well, seeing the flustered yet proud smile Julie was wearing.

“It’s not a big deal,” Julie tells you both, but you can tell she was excited, “It’s just another gig. But we,” she gestures between her and Flynn, “thought it would be fun to invite you to come! You know, get a feel of the Los Angeles scene, listen to some music-”

“-And hang out with some really cool people.” Flynn smirks as she interrupts and you all laugh.

“Guys, I would love to come!” You pull them in for a quick side hug.

“Oh, look at this!” All of a sudden, the three of you stop in your tracks, much to your confusion. You look to Julie and Flynn, both of who were frowning at a girl with wavy blonde hair and a whole group of girls behind her. “The two weirdos have a third!”

“What do you want Carrie?” Julie sighs and crosses her arms the same time Flynn does. You look between the two a few times before copying their stance. Your mimicking earns a hum of a laugh from Carrie.

“Who’s your friend?” She says, eying you up and down.

“I’m Y/N.” you say after a moment of silence, not entirely sure what to say or do.

Carrie stares at you for a second longer before letting out another hum and turning to Julie. “Heard you were preforming tonight with your little hologram band. Hope you don’t choke!”

“I don’t do that anymore, Carrie.”

Carrie just smirks and takes a step closer. “We’ll see.” She says simply before pushing between you and Julie, the rest of her group following suit and separating you from Flynn as well. By the time they had passed, you were more than annoyed with all of them.

“Okay, who exactly was that?” you ask the two of them, watching Carrie walk away.

“That, that was Carrie.” Flynn sighs, joining you in watching.

“Just don’t listen to her.” Julie continues, although she wasn’t looking the same way.

“Yeah, Julie is gonna kill it tonight, just like she always does.” Flynn reassures her best friend, who smiles at her words. The three of you continue on your walk to class, talking more about this gig tonight as well as Julie and Flynn getting a small chance to know you better.

By the end of the day, you’ve gotten a better chance at knowing the duo and you were heading home with your head held high and two more numbers added to your phone. The moment you got back to your place, you call your best friend Kendall, wanting to tell her about Julie and Flynn but most importantly you wanted to tell her about going to see Julie and the Phantoms tonight. You hoped she would be as excited for you as you were about going.

Kendall, however, didn’t answer and when you called her again, it went straight to voicemail. You furrow your brows, glancing down at the contact photo you have saved for her with both of your smiling faces pressed cheek to cheek. It wasn’t unusual for Kendall not to answer, but the sending you to voicemail was new.

You shake your head, not wanting to believe anything bad about your friendship. Instead, you shoot her a text.

Guess who was just personally invited to the next Julie and The Phantoms gig by Julie herself! ME! Wish you could come :( miss u!

The notification the message was seen pops up right away, but after a few minutes there’s still no response. You hesitate before sending another message.

Hey, you ok?

Just like the first one, after the seen icon pops up, there’s no response from Kendall. Feeling dread creep up, you open Instagram, wanting to see if Kendall had posted anything. There was a post from a few days ago when she went to Meredith’s party but nothing more. She did, though, have a story posted from just an hour ago. The first thing that pops onto your screen is Kendall, happier than you’ve seen her since you told her you were moving. Underneath her was the words “time for a sleepover” and when the video pans over quickly, you can see fluffy blonde hair that most certainly didn’t match Kendall’s dark curls and with only the 5 second video to tell, you knew Kendall was having a sleepover with Meredith.

Your stomach falls as you close out of the video and your phone gently falls from your hands onto the bed, followed closely by your body.

It was at that moment that Luke pops back into your room, right as you let out the loudest groan you can muster. He wasn’t sure if you want your privacy or not, but he couldn’t just leave you there.

A pillow gently goes flying across the room and hits you square in the head as you look up, much confused. Then your desk chair starts spinning.

“Oh,” you sigh, “Hey Jerry.” You sit up when the pencil starts scribbling on the notepad on your desk and you read over Luke’s message asking if you were okay. A small, pathetic laugh escapes your lips before you can stop. “I’m fine.” You lie and Jerry apparently doesn’t trust you as the pencil taps the paper. You’re quiet for a moment, thinking over what to say as Luke scoots closer, unknown to you. He doesn’t like to see you upset like this. He might only have known you for a short time, but he doesn’t like it. “Do you have a person in your life that just gets under your skin? That will make your life a living hell and they don’t even have to have a reason?”

Luke chuckles dryly at your question, he’s had a couple people like that in his life, he knows how difficult it can be. He scribbles down a quick yes as your smile pokes through your face and then he underlines it a few times and your smile turns into a genuine soft laugh, already feeling a little better. Luke prides himself before he pauses. He might have made you feel better now, but you still need someone. “Want to talk about it?” he writes.

You stare at the paper, flicking through the corners of the pad for a moment before taking a deep breath. “When I was 13, this girl Meredith moved to my school.” You take a seat on your bed, watching as the desk chair starts drifting for a moment. “She was so different than anyone who went there and the first day, the very first day, she had everyone wanting to be her friend… and during lunch she sat down next to me.” Luke’s eyes never leave your face as he listens to your story. You pick at your bedsheets as you speak, letting your eyes drift towards the chair in front of you as if you could actually see Luke – see Jerry. “God, I thought I was so special but if I knew how much I would go through with her, I would’ve gotten up and walked away. It was like everything I did, she had to better and if she couldn’t, then I wasn’t allowed to do that anymore. She had to look prettier, so I facetimed her everyday with how I looked and if she thought I looked too good, then I had to change.” You stop for a second before shaking your head. “She was like Regina George in a 13-year-old body.”

You laugh at yourself, while Luke furrows his brows, mentally adding Regina George to the list of things you’ve mentioned that he needs to look up. His attention goes back to you when you stand up and walk over a picture you have strung on the wall and pull it off. Luke moves to look over your shoulder, seeing you with a barely-there smile while holding a second-place trophy.

“Anyways, that was over about a little over half a year ago when I got first place in a singing competition and Meredith, with her daddy’s money, decided to bride the judges to give her first.” You chuckle at Meredith’s desire to be better before sticking the photo back onto the wall. “I can’t believe it took me 4 years to finally say something to her, but I asked her why she did that and her response was ‘to make sure I knew I wasn’t good enough’ as if I hadn’t already won first-place.”

Luke wants to become visible for you at this moment. He wants to be able to wrap his arms around you and hug you so tightly so that you know that you were better than this Meredith girl could ever dream about being. He wants to know that he is here for you. He picks up the paper and pencil before holding the newly written paper out to you. “I’m sorry.”

He puts his hand on your shoulder, but it goes right though. However, at the exact moment he touches you, a warm feeling dances through your shoulder and you look down, wondering what the feeling could be. Luke’s chest stalls as you glance to his hand, he doesn’t know if you can feel him, you shouldn’t be able to, or at least he thinks. Julie’s never been able to, although he partially thinks he wouldn’t believe her if she says she could. Not that Julie would lie to them, it was just that there was so much about being ghosts that he doesn’t fully understand.

“Thanks for listening.” You sigh out to Jerry, already feeling a lot better just knowing you had someone to talk to, you’ve tried it with your parents, but all you got from them was the typical ‘but Meredith just seems like such a nice girl’. At least, Jerry isn’t like that. “You’re a really good listener for a dead guy.” Luke can’t hold back his laughs at your comment and only a second later you were laughing too but also hiding your hands in your face. “Oh, god, I hope you laughed at that because otherwise, I’m a total asshole.” You grumble, feeling the heat from your face pressing against the skin on your hands.

You only peak your eyes through the slits between your fingers as you hear the pencil tapping against the paper. Your eyes scan over the paper before the heat in your cheeks amplify and you’re left in a flustered silence.

Don’t worry, the paper said, I did… and you have a great laugh. :)

---

Luke is 30 minutes late to rehearsal. Luke hates being late to rehearsal. Knowing the gig tonight was going to happen with or without this rehearsal, Julie, Reggie, and Alex decide to practice without him, despite how often each one of them throws glances to the clock hanging in the studio.

They had just finished a run-through of their newest song before collapsing on the couch and chairs. “Do you think he’s dead?” Reggie says the moment he can catch his breath properly. Julie and Alex just share looks with each other before staring at Reggie. “This is serious, why aren’t you saying anything!”

Alex sighs, staring at the bassist. “We’re waiting for your brain to catch up with your mouth.”

“Huh?” Reggie stares at the floor for a moment as he thinks back over the words he’s said. As Alex and Julie watch him as they move now from being annoyed to amused, they see the click in Reggie’s brain. “Oh right! The whole ghost thing, duh.”

Julie chuckles as Alex shakes his head fondly. She leans back in the chair, kicking her feet up on the coffee table. “I’m sure he just lost track of time.”

Alex and Reggie agree with her assumption as they nod their heads. But Alex soon twiddles with his drumsticks, letting his worries get the better of him in this moment. “Anyone else notice he’s been kinda out of it lately?”

Reggie doesn’t need to think before he’s agreeing with his bandmate. “Yeah, and he’s been gone for really long a couple times these last few days too.”

“You don’t think there’s something going on with him, do you?” After Alex’s question, the three bandmates sit in silence for a moment, drinking their respective waters as they contemplate Luke’s location.

Julie smacks her hand on the top of her bottle to close it as she stands up, shaking her head. “It’s Luke.” She argues in hopes to make herself feel better. “I’m sure he’s fine. Besides, he’s probably just trying to find out where his parents went.”

It made sense, which is why Alex and Reggie also started to feel a little better about the situation, although they still felt awful for their best friend having lost his house and parents. “Well, did you figure out who the girl was who moved in?”

Julie frowns at Reggie’s question. “Maybe? I’m not sure. Flynn and I met someone, but I don’t know if it’s her just yet.”

Alex scrunches his brows and stands up to join the singer. “Why not?”

“I wasn’t about to say ‘Nice to meet you, what’s your address?’ to her on the second day we’ve talked.” Julie deadpans. “Look, she’s actually kind of cool.” Her smile becomes hard to hold back as she thinks about you and her being friends. “And I need more girl friends.”

“You have Flynn.”

“And you three live in my garage rent free.”

The boys freeze in their spots, looking at each other before saying at the same time, “Girl friends, yeah, they’re nice to have.”

“Yeah, you definitely should get more.”

Julie bites her inner cheek to hide her laugh towards the boys as they get ready to practice again. Alex was just about to count the three of them in before Luke appears, swinging his guitar over his shoulder. “Ready for rehearsal?” he asks acting as if he wasn’t late.

“Yeah, we were.” Alex tells him before pointing his drumstick towards the clock. “About 30 minutes ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Luke sighs, “I lost track of time.”

Alex drops his drumstick, sparing his friend as Julie offers a gentle smile. “Doing what?”

Luke takes a deep breath as his eyes focus on the floor in front of him. He had spent all afternoon with you again. He didn’t even mean to this time; it was just so hard to leave you and frankly he didn’t want to. “Just thinking.” He lies.

“About?” Reggie raises a brow at his friend, pairing it with a side smile.

“Things.” Luke says a little harsher than he meant that has all his friends losing their smiles. He signs, letting his eyes close as he mentally resets. He offers an apologetic look when he opens them. “Look, I’m here now, aren’t I? We can just practice for a little longer after.”

The others were silent for moment before Julie sighs and reaches for her microphone. “Fine, but you better be here on time for the show tonight. I invited a new friend I made.”

Luke nods, gripping his guitar tight as he gets ready to play and sends Julie a wink. “Sure thing, boss.”

---

The energy outside the performance hall was high as you stood out in front, rubbing your arms and wishing you had brought a better jacket. Despite the cold creeping up your neck, you were excited to be here and support Julie and her Swedish hologram band. You were about to follow another group of girls inside before someone put their hand on your shoulder.

You spin quickly, only to come face to face with Flynn. “Hey! You made it!” She cheers and pulls you in for a hug. You respond quick, pulling the girl close to you and even when the hug ends, you both keep a hold on each other, mainly not to lose yourselves in the sea of people pushing their way in to see Julie and the Phantoms.

“I wouldn’t miss it!” You finally say back to Flynn who chuckles and nods behind her, pulling you with her.

“Normally, you’d have to enter out front, but not when you’re with the talent.” She sweeps her braids over her shoulders before leading you back in the door she came out of, taking you backstage. It was kind of cool, you’ve never been backstage in a venue like this before and you took every moment to appreciate it. Flynn entered Julie’s dressing room first before pulling you inside.

“You’re here!” Julie’s excitement rubs off on you as you gap openmouthed at her.

“Wow, Julie, you look amazing!”

She grows flustered at your compliment but before she can say anything else, a stagehand knocks on the door and tells Julie it was time to go on. You give her a quick hug just like Flynn does and a thumbs up before she’s out the door. Flynn laughs before swiping some food that was set out for Julie and hands you some.

“Come on,” She says, heading towards the door, “If we don’t get good spots then mama doesn’t get her eye candy.” You can’t help but help with her as you follow her out to the crowd, managing to secure two places near the stage.

Julie steps out only a moment later, giving the audience a smile, but Flynn whispers in your ear that she’s really trying to find you two. Once she does find you and Flynn, her smile grows. You give her a little wave.

Julie starts her song out strong singing while she’s on the piano and you and Flynn sing along, just like the rest of audience until finally, out of seemingly nowhere three boys appear on the stage, each brandishing their instruments.

It was amazing, you’ve never really seen holograms in real life but these ones looked so real and life-like. You spent half of the song just staring in awe until Flynn bumps into you during her cheering. Finally, you get back to singing along with the songs, thanking Kendall for being such a big fan of the band and making you listen to all their songs, although it helped that their songs were so amazing.

When Luke appears on the stage, that familiar fantastic rush of preforming hitting him in the best way possible as he stands up on the stage with his best friends. He gets into the song, jumping around with his guitar and singing along with Julie. He’s having the time of his life.

And then he sees you.

Luke freezes onstage, he was still playing, but his body stops moving for a whole minute and he can only stare at you, clinging onto Flynn and belting out the lyrics very badly. His lips quirk up in the corners as he forces himself to look away, right back to Alex who is shooting him a questioning look since he noticed his bandmate acting strange for a moment. Luke shakes his head quickly before jumping up into the song, focusing quickly enough to rock into the chorus with Julie.

You were none the wiser to the guitarists stares as the song finishes up and the band was spending a fast few minutes preparing for the next one. Enjoying the first time you’ve seen the band preform live, you finally get a look at them that you couldn’t see in their videos. It was a good-looking band. As your eyes scan over the guitarist, you find yourself staring just a bit longer, smirking to yourself at his shirt with a band from the 90s on the front and both of the sleeves missing. It clung to his body nicely thanks to the thin layer of sweat he also wears due to preforming. Damn, he looks good.

Julie’s hologram tech was amazing to get such a great image of him.

As the next song starts up, you’re still staring at the guitarist and much to your surprise, when he looks back to the audience, the first person he looks to is you. Neither of you look away and his smile, it pulls his cheeks wide as his eyes start to crinkle. You look away first, taking a deep breath before breathing out into a chuckle.

He wasn’t actually looking at you, right?

If he was a hologram, then surely he was looking at something or someone where he was actually performing, somewhere in Sweden, right?

He couldn’t actually see the audience… right?

When you look back up, he was engaged in the song, singing on the same microphone as the bassist as you shake off all these thoughts and just enjoy the night. Julie was doing great and despite not knowing her long, you haven’t seen her as happy as she was on that stage. It was a great thing to see.

---

You fumble with your keys in the lock as you hum one of the songs from tonight quietly unsure if your dad was still awake or not. You were giddy, unable to hold back your smile when you tip toe up the stairs to your room. When you get in front of your dad’s door, you peak inside, hearing his heavy snores. Getting to your own room, you felt even better.

“Jerry?” you call out, wanting to see if your ghost friend was anywhere. There wasn’t a response, no moving of your chair or flickering of your light and you felt a little sad about it, but nothing could kill your spirits at the moment. Not even the fact that Kendall still hasn’t texted you back. The clock on your bedside table read a little after midnight and you exchange your concert clothes for pajamas and completed your night routine before hopping into bed. The moment you do, your desk chair quickly spins, like someone took a seat on it really fast.

Luke had spent the time after his concert hanging out with his friends and celebrating, but once Julie and Flynn decided to call it a night and Reggie wanted to hang out with Mr. Molina and Alex with Willie, Luke wanted to pop over to his old house to see if you were still awake. He considers it pure luck that you were.

“Hey Jerry!” You say, biting your lip and trying to keep your excitement at bay. Luke’s smile appears and he doesn’t even try to hold it back. You pull your knees to your head as you bury your face in them. “You will not believe the night that I just had.”

Luke can certainly believe the night you just had as he was there for most of it, but he wants to listen instead as he scribbles a quick “tell me about it” on the pad and holds it up. He wasn’t sure if it was possible but he swears your smile got wider.

“I have friends!” You blurt out first and it surprises you as well as Luke. Out of everything that was so much more than awesome tonight, neither one of you expected that to be the best. You sigh, never losing your smile. “God, you have no idea how hard it was to make friends at my old school. I just- I felt like I was on the outside no matter what I did, but here with Julie and Flynn-” Luke feels the warmth spread in his stomach as you speak about his friends in such a great way, “-god, I feel like I might actually have a place.”

You stay quiet for a moment, thinking about your two newest friends before suddenly your smiles starts to dip. Luke notices right away and he’s by your side with the pen and paper. “What’s wrong?” He writes quickly, holding up for you to see.

You read it. Then you read it again, and again, just trying to figure out this new feeling in your stomach. “What if they don’t feel the same?” The question catches Luke off guard. “I mean, what if they, like, only invited me because I’m new and they felt like they had to?”

“They didn’t.” Luke underlines his words.

You read them, but you don’t quite believe them. “I met them yesterday and it was only because I sat down at the other end of their table. God,” you breathe out on the word, “they wouldn’t have even met me if I hadn’t had overheard their conversation about their band, Julie and the Phantoms, and thought they were talking about Ghosts- about you or others like you,” Luke doesn’t really know what to say to your rambles. They were your insecurities and yet you had a point. You really did happen to sit down at the one table in the lunch room where they were most likely talking about Luke. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t your friends.

Luke hates that he can’t become visible to you right now. He can’t actually become visible to you ever, unless he admits the truth. You’ve seen him at the concert. You’d know who he was. If you learned the truth now, that Jerry was him…

Luke closes his eyes tight, smacking his hand over his head at the last thought. It wasn’t that bad when you were just getting to know Luke, but now, you were telling him your secrets and ones that include his best friends too.

The silence in the room makes Luke’s heart stop as he realizes you were no longer speaking. You had moved to lay in your bed completely, staring up at your ceiling as Luke tries to figure out what to write down to comfort you.

“You’re too great to not want to be friends with.” You read Jerry’s message out loud and your spirits lift as you try to hide your smile, turning away from where you think Jerry was. It doesn’t help however as Luke can still see it and his own spreads wide. He chuckles and much to his surprise, you chuckle at the same time. The sound of your mixed laughter makes his stomach flip. “Can I keep this?” You ask Jerry softly and reach up, letting your hand grab the paper softly. You couldn’t be sure if you imagined it, but for a moment, you felt another’s hold on the paper, gripping it tightly until you were able to pull it away.

Despite you not looking at his, Luke was looking in your eyes as your hand reaches towards his, barely an inch from his touch and yet, you had no clue. When Luke lets go of the paper, you get off your bed and move towards the collage on your wall, find the smallest space before taping Jerry’s message on it.

“There.” You cross your arms as you look at the kind message. Luke appears over your shoulder, his chest almost hitting your shoulder as he crosses his arm too. “It looks good.”

He nods his head. “I like it.” He says without thinking. You don’t react to his words and for a whole moment, Luke forgets what your situation is with him. He’s… He’s just a ghost in your house and you can’t see him or hear him, unless he wants you to.

“Well, I guess I should get some sleep.” You mumble and turn around. All of the thoughts, that maybe Luke should become visible to you leaves him as you pass right through his body to head to your bed. He closes his eyes and lets out a deep, shaky breath. You shuffle into your bed, pulling the blankets up under your chin as you look towards the light on the wall. You let out a sigh, realizing you’ve left your lights on and without waiting for you to ask, Luke jumps over to the light and flicks it off. You chuckle one last time for him. “Thank you, Jerry.”

He doesn’t say anything, it didn’t matter if he did anyways, you wouldn’t hear it. You never hear it. Luke poofs out of your house with one last lingering thought on his mind.

He might not be able to be anything but a ghost to you. Ever.

.

.

.

.

If you want to be added or removed, please send an ask!

Jatp: @bekkimahonxx95​ // @tattoo-of-a-bird // @luna670 //  @sagittarianwolf // @magicalxdaydream // 

TYJ: @quillsandtypos​ //  @bxtchboy69​

#Luke Patterson x reader #Luke Patterson imagine #Luke Patterson fanfiction #Luke Patterson #Luke Patterson series #jatp x reader #jatp imagine #jatp series #jatp #jatp fanfiction #Julie and the Phantoms #Julie and the Phantoms x reader #Julie and the Phantoms imagine #Julie and the Phantoms series #Julie and the Phantoms fanfiction #Thank You Jerry

[andiwriteordie]

asking abt the sad wheeler sibling thing

i am in the business of ruining everyone's (especially nic's @messrsbyler) day with sad wheeler sibling ideas so here is my pitch for a book 4 scene

(on a side note. i need to like. probably explain this more in terms of my thoughts on themes in the books but that's another ask for later lol. in my brain this series goes something like

Book 1: Water

Book 2: Earth

Book 3: Fire

Book 4: Air)

so, we're to book 4 now, and we're near the beginning of the plot that occurs in this book. henry returns to hawkins, and long and short of it, somehow, el/will/mike end up fighting him, somewhere separated enough to where the others can't help (or the others are preoccupied by spirit attacks. don't ask me the how all this happened/what the set up is yet bc i have Not One Clue lol).

el is obviously the primary one fighting henry, while will and mike are there trying to help keep spirits from her, and one way or another, el gets up getting injured and knocked unconscious by henry. so now, will, who is still trying to figure out his own connection to the spirit world and the abilities that this connection gives him, is forced to fight henry. it becomes very, very clear though that henry is far too powerful since he manages to toss will aside—though not injuring him as badly as el gets injured, just knocking him out for a few moments.

and henry turns to mike and begins attacking him, which i talk about more here. will is partially conscious but unable to get up because he's still out of it, so he's watching in horror as henry does to mike what he did to max (and what he did to will, a couple years ago). with all three of them now rendered useless or close to dead, henry leaves, to do what? no clue, i'll figure it out later or maybe nic will!

after seeing mike fall back to the ground, will manages to crawl over to him, and he quickly realizes mike isn't breathing, so he desperately starts trying to save mike. i think about this scene as a parallel of sorts to the lucas trying to save max scene, except while lucas was only able to keep max's heart beating, will is only able to help mike breathe but not restart his heart. he's crying, begging mike to hold on, and screaming for anyone to come help him.

nancy's the first to find them, and will, panicked and breathless and crying, begs her to come help—because nancy can bend lightning. she can restart mike's heart and help save him. will needs her to help him save mike. he needs nancy.

but this is nancy, and god, i hope everyone knows that i love nancy wheeler with my whole heart and also that i love gray areas. because nancy sees that el is unconscious too, sees a pool of blood around the avatar, and it's her first instinct not to go to mike but to go to el.

and nancy quickly realizes el's heart has stopped, el isn't breathing, and they're about to lose el too. they're about to lose the avatar—the only person who can beat henry.

if they lose el, it's game over. henry will take over the world long before the next avatar comes along, and he'll always be one step ahead of them. his deep connection to the spirits will help him find the next avatar long before anyone else does. they cannot lose el.

and nancy knows this.

so even though her little brother is there, pale and lifeless and only breathing because of will's airbending, nancy makes the hard call. how is it always her being forced into these situations? how is nancy always having to choose between duty/the bigger picture/what will matter most in the long run and the people she loves and cares about? and sure. nancy has never been that close to mike. they've struggled their whole lives to get along, and their firebending has always been a point of contention—the unfortunate result of their parents' expectations and inability to show either of them genuine love.

but this is still her little brother. and nancy wants to scream, because this isn't fair, but there's no doubt in her mind what she needs to do. el comes first. restart el's heart. ignore will's screaming and begging for her to help mike. block out the sight of mike's body, limp in will's arms. just focus. do what has to be done.

nancy chooses el, but really, nancy chooses the avatar. nancy chooses the world.

(but will chooses mike.

every. single. time.)

#andi's asks #your wheeler sibling angst for you #i love a good morally gray situation #and i don't think nancy's in the wrong here #she did what she had to do #but it's heartbreaking #atlagate #stranger things/avatar au

[thejournallo]

heyy i'm the anon asking about your backroom experience 👋

what an interesting comparison (w the brick house). i must say i never really heard much of the backrooms in real life context before. i've only known about them from these horror games and (recently) from these liminal spaces aesthetics on tiktok lol. but i just thought the whole time that was just a fun made up thing for horror enthusiasts 🥲

personally i'm a total scaredy cat, so i could probably never deal with this,,, like i have this fear of being chased AND just the thought of someone/something starting to chase me/run after me paralyses me instantly and makes me have a breakdown ,like my whole body won't move!! 🫡 that's the main reason i can only read horror and not watch it (or live/experience it in some DR jndkksjsndk)

anywaysss back to the topic...

> what do you mean with 'aura' in the brick house comparison - like the vibes (physically) or like an energetic wall ..?

> and what do you think is the reason for the existence of these backrooms? like i can't wrap my head around the fact that there exists some scary place that's trying to trick and intimidate or even attack me (i mean those entities there). like... negativity and horror and whatnot is made up by humans, why does it also exist there? does that mean that we (humans/bearer of consciousness) are influencing this space - as (co-)creators??

i mean if we for example went back in time and someone idk 150 years ago would enter the backrooms wouldn't it look completely different? Would it match with what they've experienced and/or what they perceive as scary at that time? Are they distinct/different for everyone or are people entering the same 'space'?

sry i have so many questions...

(btw it's not that i don't believe you. i do believe you but i tend to always question everything because i want to understand the big picture)

Never be sorry because you have questions. Having questions and questioning everything is what differentiates us from most animals.

I will answer your questions one by one so I won't miss anything, and I will try to be as clear as possible!

1) What do you mean with 'aura' in the brick house comparison—like the vibes (physically) or like an energetic wall?

You can clearly and energetically see a difference in the frontroom and backroom. It does not mean that it is negative; it is just different.

2) And what do you think is the reason for the existence of these backrooms? Why does it also exist there? Humans are influencing this space.

I honestly think that the void is existence and non-existence itself, as I also think the void existed even before time itself, and the backrooms are just there since our many universes began to exist. There is a reason for everything, but not everything has a reason, and the backrooms are an example of that, like Schrödinger's cat. I don't think humans or bearers of consciousness influence the backroom; I think is the opposite. same think with the void, since the void existed for so long, I think it can influence us more than we can influence it.

3) If we, for example, went back in time and someone, I don't know, 150 years ago, entered the backrooms, wouldn't it look completely different? Would it match with what they've experienced and/or what they perceive as scary at that time?

If someone from 150 years ago enters the backrooms, it will face many fewer levels because, as said in the previous post, the backrooms and void are always expanding. I think that will be the only difference, and that's why the vibes in the backrooms mutate too. There are some levels that have a really old vibe, lol. because, again, I'm sorry I'm repeating myself; the void and, of consequence, the backroom are more old than time itself!

4) Are they distinct or different for everyone, or are people entering the same 'space'?

I think that it is both. I don't know if it makes sense, honestly, but nothing about the void or backroom makes sense. Let me explain myself better: if I enter level 46 and go around and don't see people, but I can go around and around for hours and hours and still don't see people, it does not mean that because I don't see them, they are not there. Like a tree falling in a forest, no one hears it. Did it fall? but I still have a different experience from that person.

I honestly don't know if I was clear ahaha. The void and backrooms can be a very confusing topic, and that's why I never made an actual post about them! And again, there is no such thing as a stupid question, so if you want to ask, just do it!

#journal #manifestation #manifestation method #manifesting #shifting methods #manifesation #loa methods #spiritual development #explain the method #explained #the void #living in the end #the universe speaks #the universe #exploring the backrooms #the backrooms #backrooms #dreamcore #liminalcore #liminal

[wetcatspellcaster]

I've been curious about Lydia Zarovich. Could you tell us more about her? I ran Curse of Strahd a year ago, and I'm always curious to see how differently everyone had made their campaign.

Hey! So, just want to preface this by saying I am no Curse of Strahd expert - I played in one game and want to run another one day, but I need some distance (and current projects to end!) before I do lol. The Lyssa Von Zarovich stuff is basically me shamelessly microdosing on the campaign I want to do eventually (also I didn't feel like Rosalie deserved to encounter Strahd *and* an Ascended Astarion, poor girl needs some kind of break).

Spoilers (?) for Curse of Strahd

So, in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft (2021) there is a section on Barovia that kind of acts like a mini-campaign guide for if a person wants to run a game in Barovia but doesn't necessarily want to run the Curse of Strahd module, e.g. you can just a quick dip into Barovia as one of the domains of dread, a fetch quest, etc. - however, a lot of the lore is obviously duplicated for sake of continuity, Strahd's curse/Tatyanna's reincarnation is still the same, and if people wanted to run Curse of Strahd the Van Richten's Guide offers supplemental lore to that, and options to personalise the campaign further.

The thing that Van Richten's Guide did that made my brain itch was that it offers different options of people for Tatyanna's soul to be incarnated into other than Ireena - all of the options are super interesting, including Ezmerelda D'Avenir, a dragonborn goatherd, or even split between two identical twins. There is also an entire table of options for Tatyanna's soul to not be in Barovia at all, and this is where Lyssa Von Zarovich lives!

[So, essentially, Lyssa von Zarovich is an incarnation option for Tatyanna, here pictured as a hot fucked up version of Ireena Kolyanna]

Lyssa existed before this module guide, but from my research this was the first time I saw her explicitly labelled as an option for Tatyanna.

I really like this version of events/Lyssa von Zarovich for a number of reasons: 1. hot vampire lady my beloved, 2. hot vampire power struggles my beloved, 3. gives Tatyanna equal agency/power to Strahd, 4. basically prevents Strahd from having a romantic relationship with this version of Tatyanna, because she's his relative, she's not in Barovia, and she's already turned, so none of the non-consensual vampirism can happen, she's already there.

There's a number of personal reasons why this was fun to me, and also fixed some issues I had with the version of Strahd I played, but from a DM's perspective I also liked that way it gives a really clear and fun motive for the party to defeat Strahd from the very beginning. Lyssa can be the questgiver who asks the party to try and take out Strahd in the first place. Idk what your experience of DMing is like, but in my personal experience, if a hot lady asks the party to do something, no matter how morally dubious she is the party usually does it. So I want to run a Curse of Strahd campaign either where the party is explicitly following Lyssa's orders, or the premise that I state in my fic - the party arrives in a Barovia where Lyssa is already in charge and Strahd has been defeated, but they need to clear out his lingering influence in the region (this would depend on what my players wanted, Strahd as a character has some triggers that I wouldn't want to force my party to encounter, if they just wanted to do a silly little vampire game in the silly little vampire world).

So the mentions of Lyssa in my fic are as I said, a little shout out/microdose of the story I eventually want to run in Barovia, but don't have time for atm.

#asks #mutuals #wip: pieces still stuck in your teeth #curse of strahd infodump. my beloved.

[golbrocklovely]

it’s so weird that stas is only ever really in vegas with kat when snc leave lol. just a year ago those 4 were the best of friends and now they’re rarely in the same place together anymore

maybe i’m jumping the gun and speaking too soon and stas will still be there when snc return but 🤷‍♀️

it’s strange to see people still hung up on tc4 this tc4 that when they’re barely friends anymore

“burns half as long when it’s twice as bright” comes to my mind when i think of tc4. they were EVERYWHERE together for a year or so and they had traditions (spending a couple months in vegas together) and it was just the 4 of them for a while. now only 2 or 3 hang out at a time. it’s lowkey sad but i felt they were kind of too close… like they were isolating themselves from everyone else. they all seem to have good friendships with other people now which is why i don’t feel so bad. sorry if this is really long lol i just had to get my thoughts out after seeing kat and stas’ stories

i think the downfall of their group was a mix of things.

mostly, i think it was stas catching feelings for colby. she did a lot of questionable shit when she caught feelings for him that i think left a bad taste in his mouth, and thus caused them all to split slowly but surely.

bc she wanted to live in this fantasy where she was y/n and her life was a fanfic with colby in it, and she just took it too far. once the malishka shit happened, i think that was the turning point for colby. bc right around that time he started deleting comments about her and him together (even did the same for him and shea which was very surprising) and constantly saying "i'm single, i don't want a gf, i'm not dating anyone rn" when stas was trying to make it seem like the opposite was true.

and my thing is, i don't fault her for having feelings towards colby. i've been there many times before. but, to get upset at a guy that has never shown interest in you for not reciprocating your feelings back is just weird. not to mention her constantly telling fans in gcs about stuff….. it's no wonder things ended the way they did.

is it possible that there is a lot we don't know that happened bts? of course. i don't pretend to know the whole picture. hell, we probably only know a piece of the puzzle. but it's clear to me that colby had to put his foot down and put some distance between him and her. and that was the first time he's had to do that bc god knows colby doesn't like anything negative or having to stick up for himself (which i'm just gonna assume he sees as negative).

that's why for a while it was just kat hanging out with stas. and i think as time goes on, i think the whole group will come back around. i don't see them being as close as they once were, but i can see them being able to hang out all once again (i mean, they technically already did for when we were young and sort of on colby/stas' bday lol). bc even tho colby put some distance between him and her, i don't think he hates her or anything like that. i think he just needed distance. and obviously kat still likes her, and sam doesn't really have an opinion unless kat tells him to so i'm gonna assume he also likes her.

and while i don't agree with the sentiment that they were all never really that close to begin with and she was just kat's friend that tagged along bc kat was lonely, while that last part is true, i do think they were all close at one point. which is why i think they haven't hung out as a group since. when a problem arises in a group, it's gonna take some time to heal from it. also, snc are on their grind rn, colby has more important shit to worry about, so repairing a friendship is probably last on the list.

i think they were the type of group that did well in positive situations, if that makes any sense. they were down for the partying, they were down for the festivals, for the drinking, for the staying up late and going to vegas and ghost hunting and all that good stuff. i had friends similar to that in college. but when the party was over… what exactly did we have in common? we never hung out sober, or if we did the vibe just wasn't the same. clearly, in a party we were awesome and it was fun. but when the morning would come, we were sorta strangers in the end bc we just never got deep on that level.

while i do think tc4 were friends, i do think that once things got "negative", so to speak, that's when they stopped thriving. and that's when they couldn't be friends anymore.

i honestly think that they just need time, and they could all be friends again. it might take a bit of time, but i won't be surprised if later this year they're all hanging out somewhere or ghost hunting. like i said in a previous ask forever ago, i'll be very surprised if stas isn't in some video of snc's.

but who knows? maybe i'm just an optimist and they'll never all hang out again as a group lol tbh i don't care either way.

#ask #personal #tc4

[morganaspendragonss]

Life will find you the love you seek (3/4)

it's the tk whump chapter! this entire fic was born out of me messaging @tarlos-spain late at night like 'you know what would be fun' and her doing nothing but encouraging me. this one is written by both of us - thank you so much vicky for stepping in when i lost any kind of writing motivation i had 💚 muchísimas gracias querida!

ao3 | 1.6k | 4.04 speculation (kind of lol), mentioned drug abuse and addiction, 'light' stabbing

“Well, this is it.”

TK heard Gabriel twist towards him, but he didn’t look up from where he was scrolling through pictures on his phone. He paused on one taken years ago now, before they were even dating, though even back then, TK had known he was falling helplessly in love. Carlos had snapped the photo the morning after the night out with Paul; they’d gone out for breakfast at a twenty-four hour diner after continuing the party alone in the townhouse, and the dawn light was playing stunningly across Carlos’s skin.

So much had changed since then, most of it for the better, but a part of TK wished he could go back. Not a big part, but a loud one; the part that was telling him Carlos was already dead, that they were going to walk into that house and find his cold body, lips blue and half-lidded eyes staring sightlessly at the ceiling. 

A shudder ran through his body and he looked up at Gabriel, flipping his phone over when he caught him, too, staring at it.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” he admitted. “What if…?”

“What is your gut telling you?” Gabriel looked at him intensely and TK searched for an answer, but all his gut was telling him was that he was going to throw up. He wanted to say that he would know if Carlos was gone, but he just…didn’t.

“I don’t know, Gabriel,” he said. “I need him to be alive, but–”

“Then believe it. Because I’ll tell you what my gut is telling me, it’s telling me that my son is a fighter and he will be doing everything he can to get right back to where he belongs. Back to you. So don’t you dare give up on him, you hear me?”

TK nodded mutely and Gabriel returned the gesture. “Good. Now, remember what I said. Stay close, stay back, and under no circumstances do you do anything that puts anyone at risk? Clear?”

Again, a nod, and again, one in return. TK steeled his nerves as they climbed out of the Jeep but he couldn’t stop himself from clenching his hands and picking at the sleeves of his jacket. The last time he was here had been the last time he’d seen Carlos, and he wasn’t sure how he’d handle it if he saw Carlos here again, but dead.

Worse than losing his mom, probably. 

Probably, he’d be the next dead junkie the cops found.

He banished those thoughts from his mind as they walked in, the door creaking ominously behind them. He stayed back, just like Gabriel said and, for once, TK was more than happy to be cautious. Places like these always seem worse when you’re sober.

They moved slowly but the house was small, so it didn’t take long to reach the bedroom where they’d found Iris. There was still a smear of blood on the wall from where she’d been thrown against it and TK’s heart both sank and lifted when he realised there were no newer stains. It meant Carlos hadn’t been hurt, not here, anyway.

But it also meant they had no trail to follow.

For every step closer they seemed to take, it was like they were being pushed about five back, and TK can feel Carlos getting further and further away with each second that went by.

They were just about to turn and leave when a noise broke the otherwise complete silence of the house. They both turned, trying to locate it, and just when TK had almost convinced himself it was just the wind, it came again, for longer this time, and TK’s head snapped towards where a closet had once been, the door now broken down.

He approached, sensing Gabriel close behind, and there was the noise again – definitely louder now, and it was starting to sound scarily like a scream.

And when TK heard it again, he knew for a fact that it was Carlos.

He didn’t think after that, though if he had, he wasn’t sure he’d have done any different. He leapt towards the closet, pounding and scrabbling at the back of it until something dislodged and a panel fell forwards onto his knees. There was a hole behind it concealing a passage; it was half caved in, but he could fit through the gap, he was sure of it.

Behind him, TK could hear Gabriel calling it in and discussing how to work out where the passage led. But that would take too long and so, when the next scream came, weaker this time despite them being much closer, TK pitched himself forward, forcing his way through the dirt until he dropped into the tunnel.

A cough ripped out of his throat, the stale air and the earth he’d inhaled threatening to choke him, but TK forced himself forward, wriggling until he managed to get his phone out of his pocket and click the flashlight on. The tunnel stretched way beyond the reach of the light and TK was almost tempted to back up, but he couldn’t.

Carlos needed him.

Carlos' voice was nowhere to be heard anymore. TK could not be sure if that was because they had not arrived in time or if on the contrary more had happened; maybe the kidnapper was doing something else and had given Carlos one more moment to survive and hang on until TK got to him.

Either way, he moved through that darkened house as he imagined Carlos had done a day before, flashlight in hand, with the gun TK didn't have now, unaware that there was a terrible serial killer about to harm him.

It wasn't a particularly modern place and whoever lived there hadn't cared too much about decorating and apparently, not too much about cleanliness either.

He heard noises outside the house, the police were approaching and perhaps the killer had already left. He didn't want to confront him, he didn't even care if he escaped. He was sure that Gabriel and all the FBI agents who were going after him would catch him before he tried to hurt anyone else.

Carlos was his priority.

Carlos was his only priority.

He kept walking until he came to a kitchen, though he only noticed the room for the first two seconds. Then he found Carlos's body on the floor. He recognized him despite the darkness that surrounded everything.

"Carlos," he gasped, kneeling on the floor next to his fiancé. "Carlos, no, please, Carlos."

He placed two fingers on his neck and he realised he wasn't breathing. Carlos wasn't breathing, but his body was still warm. He could undo whatever it was that...whatever it was that had been done to him. Carlos wasn't breathing but he was a paramedic, he could solve this. The rest would be taken care of later.

He closed his eyes for a second, took a deep breath and then placed his hands on Carlos's chest as he did with every patient he had to perform CPR on.

"Come on, babe, I can do the hard work, but you have to breathe. 1...2...3..." He pressed down on his fiancé's chest, afraid of hurting him, of breaking a rib even though he was an expert at doing this. "1...2...3... Babe... Carlos... I screwed up, I was wrong to talk to Iris, I should have given her time. I know.... But now it's time to forgive me and come back to me. 1...2...3..."

A noise behind him made him turn around without taking his hands off Carlos, still doing CPR because he wasn't going to stop until his heart was beating on its own again.

He saw the shadow, someone rushed at them and his only possible option was to cover and protect the body of his fiancé. An older, female voice cried out and he suddenly felt the pain. He screamed, he knew the pain of being shot and all the other things that had happened to him, but this was the first time someone had stabbed him.

The pain was even worse when the huge kitchen knife came out of his body. He was out of breath for a moment, but somehow he was still going with the CPR and suddenly, as if by the greatest miracle of mankind, Carlos let out a rattle, his body shook and after gasping a couple of times, he began to breathe.

The woman screamed, but TK didn't hear it. He couldn't care less if she stuck the knife back in him again because Carlos was breathing; his breathing was bad and shaky, he was trembling and moaning, he was not conscious, but he was alive.

Another scream and a shot, then another and a third.

"Carlitos!" Gabriel knelt down, placed Carlos' head on his knees and stroked his hair. "Mijo..."

Carlos groaned and weakly opened his eyes. 

"TK... Dad." He closed them again, he was exhausted and noticed too many things going wrong. 

TK put his hand behind his back for a second and when he looked at it, he saw it covered in his blood.

“Is he gonna be okay?” he asked weakly, arms folded in a way that hid the growing bloodstain on his shirt. 

“Seems like it,” Gabriel said. All the professional tension seemed to have left his body and his head was hanging low, though there was still a clearly worried set to his shoulders. He turned and looked at TK, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, TK. You saved his life.”

TK sighed and nodded. “Good,” he breathed, the strength going out of him all at once.

Gabriel frowned and opened his mouth, but he didn’t have time to say anything before the darkness closed in and TK collapsed.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #gabriel reyes #lone star #911ls #fanfiction #my fanfiction #writing #my writing #cowritten

[cruelsister-moved2]

Hiii I hope you don’t mind me sending you an aita question. Is not really an asshole thing, is more of a am i a bad friend kind of thing. I have a bff. We’ve known each other for 20 years now and we are currently sharing a place. She always wanted to buy a house before her 30s (we are both 26 btw) and like in January this year her parents offered to pay for the first payment deal (idk the proper term for it ) great news! She was happy and she said that I can live with her, I will pay rent. It was a win win situation cause instead of having to go through the hassle of finding a new roommate I could live with her instead. But the thing is, she’s planning to move to another country next year, and when her parents knew this they withdrew their offer so plan goes down the drain. She’s sad, frustrated cause her dream was crushed so she was finding for solutions. And here is where the am I a bad friend comes in play. My sister’s boyfriend is very financially stable, he helped my family a lot money wise, and she knows this of course, cause sometimes she hangs out with us and he pays for everything, like dinner at restaurants etc. So, since he has money her solution was if I could ask him to pay for the first loan (18k€), cause her plan is to sell the house after 10 years and with the money she from the sell she will pay him back. And I was like hummmm I won’t, I’m not comfortable asking for that much money lol. And she was like, if you don’t ask you won’t know, he may say yes or no and besides I will pay him back. And also into the mix she was kinda wanting this house to be both of ours but i said no, I don’t want to buy a house so that house is hers and hers alone, and that she should use the opportunity her parents gave her, maybe this year will be not possible but who knows, if you come back to this country you can ask them again. A whole mess. She was very stubborn, she didn’t get the picture that I didnt want to buy a house together, and that I should ask him so the matter could be closed. I said okay. Some weeks passed and she was finally letting go the idea of having a house by this year, she was getting around the idea that it would be possible. And didn’t asked him, I kinda lied to her saying he said no lol. And she heard this he was like oh well I have already gave up so it doesn’t matter. Thank god. I think I didn’t communicated clear that I didn’t want to buy a house together, cause the plan was yes we would be living together but I would pay rent so I thought with that action it was clear that my intention wasn’t buying a house either so i kinda felt bad for lying lol this all happened 4 months ago and it just hit me how absurd was for her to ask for that money lol I mean I understand people have absurds ideas when we are thinking with a hot head, so it’s important to let our thoughts cool down so we have a better understanding of the situation and she was just throwing ideas around and we live together so I’m already there but idk I felt that I in part also ruined her dream, but I know damn well I didn’t cause that was her business and business only. After all this months i realized that whole ordeal was kinda overstepping my boundaries. Sorry for this wall of text.

sorry I took a while to get to this bc it's long but like. so. she wants u to ask ur sisters bf to lend her a crazy sum of money so she can buy a house?! yeah that's really weird and also why does she want to buy a house if she's going to move away in a year...? like why doesn't she just wait and see what happens like u say bc she might end up not going or coming back and then she could ask her parents but this makes no sense. I'm sorry she asked u for that like thats honestly so weird and reads as her just completely losing touch w reality to try n get what she wants out of everyone including u. I get it bc I really want to buy a house some day n I don't have family money to rely on so I relate to like trying to make it happen but I just can't imagine not being embarrassed to ask one of my friends smth like that.... ur 100% not the asshole yeah this was really weird of her!?

#ask #anon #it's not giving like. responsible person u would want to be embroiled in any kind of money lending with #and I feel like this involves u and ur sister as well #like if she doesn't pay the bf back that's now putting pressure on u as well #and what if him n ur sis broke up like.. it gets weird

[taegularities]

Hi I'm here to vent 😭😭😭 I'm sorry, you can always choose not to answer i just needed an outlet. Please don't feel obligated, i would understand if you don't read/respond.

I had a falling out with my best friend from school because she misbehaved with my boyfriend. When i confronted her about her behaviour she told me I'm a shitty friend and that I've never been there for her. It's not true, but that's a different story altogether. So basically we had a falling out but i called her after sometime and we agreed to stay on good terms. This was like 4 years ago. Recently I found an old picture and sent it to her just to laugh about the memory and she told me she was getting engaged. I was happy for her, i even cried lmao, it took me back to school days when we used to joke around about getting married. Anyway, we video called and she told me she was getting engaged, she wanted me to know before I got to know from insta lol. I was happy for her. She invited me too, so i said I'll come. We we 4 close friends in school, she is still close friends with the other 2. A few days ago she called me to tell me that they're not inviting many people to the engagement due to rising COVID cases and it'll be an intimate thing between family members. She said she'd let me know if things changed. Now this trip for her engagement would've been my only chance to see my long distance boyfriend who i haven't seen in 2.5 years. I was counting on it, she knew it. I told her already. When she told me it's going to be an intimate thing and they're not calling people, i was upset obviously. 2 days ago, i saw that the other 2 friends have most definitely gone to the engagement. It wasn't intimate. It's pretty clear she didn't want me there but i wasn't raised to be judgemental so i will give her the benefit of doubt that she mightve forgotten to tell me. You know what's funny? I texted her 5 days ago asking if everything was set for the engagement. she had a chance to tell me then, she even replied to my message but then left me on read. Why am I feeling betrayed and hurt when i know she was capable of this? They didn't even try to hide their stories on insta. So basically if i feel shitty, i feel shitty. They don't care. I am genuinely happy for her and i only wish her well but i am also hurt. She should've had the courage to tell it to my face if she didn't want me there, i would've understood. Why am I crying over a friendship that was broken years ago? Why does it feel like it broke all over again and the wounds just reopened? I don't even feel disappointed anymore, i only feel hurt. The world is a shitty place, rid. I'm not sure i want to raise my kids in a world like this. I guess I'm more upset about losing my only chance to meet my partner (she knows everything about our relationship and how hard it's been for us) but being made feel like trash by an old friend is a close second. Irrespective of everything, i did reply to her story congratulating her. I just cannot let my kindness wither away because of some random people.

I feel lighter just writing all of this down so if you read this at all, I'm thankful for you for listening. I hope you're having a great day. If you do choose to answer this, thank you. You're kind and amazing. Also your fics help me escape pain on a daily basis so I'm grateful for you. :)

-S

hey hey! it's okay !!

hmmm 🤔 so i’m speaking out of experience, bcos i had a falling out with a friend like that before as well. but i think there are things you both should think about. i feel like it’s super valid but also a little unfair of you to only look forward to the engagement bcos you’d be able to see your partner. after all, it’s a big day for her, and it should be about her, too ofc. though i really truly get your feelings, too, because i understand wanting to see the boyfriend after such a long time.

and regarding your friend. you said she is still friends with those other two, but you and her just reconnected a while ago; which was just a few conversations, right? so i also kind of get why she would invite close people and those she doesn’t talk to anymore not. like, if this ex-friend of mine invited my other friend but not me, i’d know why; because we aren’t in touch anymore, so it’s valid. that being said, i don’t find it cool of her though that she invited you and then uninvited you, but didn’t give you more information on that :/

i’m so sorry you feel hurt, she could’ve definitely communicated with you. but do also remember that she’s (probably) not a big part of your life anymore, and that she can do with her engagement and wedding whatever she wants to. just the way you can do whatever you want to! you are both not obliged to please the other. remember that people come and go, not everyone stays, and that those who hurt or upset you aren’t worth your time.

she doesn’t seem like she wants to bring back the friendship you once shared, and that’s okay, because that’s how life works, i think! your feelings are all valid, and i hope you feel better soon. i’m really happy that venting helped you tho !! as well as my fics, it’s so freaking nice to hear that you think that 🥺 <3

#just a small note regarding vents (not this one but in general dw !!!) #do put a tw or cw at the top of a vent so i know if i'm like mentally able to read it #since i have triggers too! i would appreciate that <3 #notes for rid 🌹 #S. anon <3 #long ask

[mkboys]

Hia, Isaac here. I made a long post and this blog originally was meant for me to kind of exist openly without Q’s fear of people who know us finding it. Although I’m sure, within a month or so, we’ll be out unless a therapist suggests otherwise. 

I don’t have many people to talk to, and I want to. It’s saddening, because I’m british-american. LOL that’s not where I was going with that. That’s obvious from the way I type innit? Sloppy. No, I am truly embarrassed to speak at times. I hold my tongue and speak inside the head, where I can get Quentin to speak on my behalf. My silence is not who I am or accurate to me in any way. It comes from the rejection sensitivity, Quentin’s fears overloading my ability to fully exist, but I am a person and I deserve to be heard when I’d like to be.  Anyway, welcome to my directionless, 3am nattering where the ADHD medication wore off long ago. For initial background on me, Quentin and I are a split from a host that was a writer, we have different tastes, I enjoy a good long story where as Q has 2 sentence poetry written in the fog on the bathroom mirrors.

I could crawl for love of another person, my knees burnt from the carpet, and my hands have those small pinpoint indents from the fibers. I had spent a year on the ground without meeting the surface we call the outside. For the first time I had collected memories. Stuffed under the cracked leather couches, stacks of little printed pictures smaller than my 4 fingers together displayed along my side. Learning in each memory, they were deemed unimportant. Finding these, after I let them set in, I took in what the body had wanted to forget. Wishing that all stay happy memories, that they are complete in front of me, but a capture cannot explain the full story. Positive memories that often are get let go of being because one, or a few of us, felt we didn’t deserve to have them. Childhood milestones, such as birthday parties at a roller-rink, I thought were all pure. Where they had first learned to skate and the music of the 2000′s blasted over the speakers, unknown to them that this was what being a kid should have been filled with. They had these memories in mind that they were so undeserving, one or two should have been disregarded as soon as possible. It evolved early into patterns of self mis-treatment, where one alter will repeat the angry words over a speaker (inside our head) echoing around the internal roller rink and the 10 year old in skates was left to sit in the dark. Those moments are here in these too, the fear that had followed in every photograph. Every smile had one of us behind the eyes, so clear to me how much they needed saving.  As a memory holder himself, Theo was too angry to hold onto these. He hid them here because most of us would not dare touch this couch. Before I knew of the dangers of this sofa in our sacred sanctum of sorts, I only went in here to get the ‘materials’ for upcoming projects, I discovered our memories aren’t filed or neatly captured in books, they were in paper and paint and mixed mediums, stacked, stapled, and spit on! Hoarded on the most unorganised desk imaginable. Holding them, not all, only these ones in this couch, I let them all wash over me and I determined what exactly I was dealing with. I’m not a overly intellectual guy, I know I was not significant to the system at first, I really was only the driver. In comparison to Moon Knight comics, I really was simply a Jake Lockley. Maybe that’s underestimating Jake, cause lad is up and about far more than my ass can be. Important point, it had changed drastically after this.  As alters, we don’t always understand ourselves or our purpose, and we don’t always try to be more than what we have been. But finding these tells me that we made small progress, because it did not hurt to have the laughter and tears from the few events that celebrated childhood. I know these are not my memories, but I can deliver them when they’re ready for them. For now I’ll keep them safe in my small locker in my room. If someone I have yet to meet comes in, then I have no problem giving these to them. If it’s not meant for me, it’s meant for them, and that’s how it has been since our system started. Origin stuff; Started at 7 or 8, ha. No, I try to reach, I meet Theo’s knowing gaze. Slowly I am taking in these memories from Theo, finding where he’s hid them, because a 20 year old should not have these. Quentin, who’s 25, is our host, but is not the host that experienced some of these memories, that is the one who is dormant. To give these to them would be like handing a flaming rag sitting in a mug of petrol. A complete disaster, not even close to a bloody molotov cocktail, because that’s how much I know better.  Often Q describes their frustrations with being unable to see the ‘inside’, our home, where we hold safety as a priority. I understand the frustration, however, there are places here that we have refused to touch until we are speaking with a professional who can see us as we are. Dislike the attempts to try to poke and prod without our consent. What happened after starting therapy was an accident. I wish I could have prevented it. Quentin had not known the extent of the trauma. Quentin did not know why they had drifted through life, never quite having a place, never connecting with family and friends, because they had yet to meet them. They had to follow the script in the middle of a scene, and though others saw them struggle, they assumed it would pass.  The memory that opened following that first session revealed how intense and dense the traumatic memories are covered. Quentin, must I explain again why you’re not connecting with the body you were given further than being trans, it is because they had a long time to decide to acknowledge us or not, and in that also tried to live as an individual, covering up their system. Several years passed and they had decided to not acknowledge, because they wanted to feel independent, quoting they needed some sanity for once. I understand Marc in a way of wishing it could be different, I understand that I wish I had my own life similar to how Steven feels. Quentin, too, has come to terms with this. Moon Knight has helped us greatly. This is the first, now 2022, for everyone in our system to accept the conditions and terms. A summary; We are a system. We are not afraid of one another. We are going to be okay.  Now with all of that off my chest, what is life? There’s been a minor discussion that Theo and I have, if Quentin and I integrated, what will happen? Though Q is nonbinary trans, I know Q is declining to transition. Unfortunate, as it will later impact us. I am talking about it here so I can organise my thoughts on it. Quentin won’t transition because the body is biologically intersex, but altered at birth, marked as female. The host from ages 3-7 was a little girl, who had no concept of identity. Then came ages 8-10, a boy named Charlie, who loved Pokemon cards, watched Naruto, and played with the rest of the boys. Then, as they aged, this push by parents and siblings to become a girl was so intense, so brought on by horrific mistreatment as well, that the last dormant host was considered female. Trauma had forced them to endure it. Because Quentin is unsure of themselves, and unsure of when we will ever have our final integration, they say that it is unfair to alters who are female. But for Theo and I, both male, though I am cis and he is not, we have to hold in our grief over this. When Quentin is insecure, they ask how we could help with this, and Theo and I turn to each other. Quietly we try to explain the origin of this issue with low self-esteem, that we cannot move past the fact we have access to transition care but refuse to, because of the fear Q has. What could happen in our interpersonal relationships, with our family? Q’s girlfriend who only dates afab and femine aligned people, all of these things in the list of chaos in us is so bleeding massive that with each new stressor we collapse. And Q still has denial of us on certain days, note this is common for systems, and they’re reaching towards me saying are you real? I am, I am real, this is real. It’s okay that I am real. You’re loved internally and externally. There is nothing wrong with having people internally look out for you, and not all of us do this, but that’s for another post. 

#isaac #personal post #athenia #This is huge! Don't need interaction it's alright #Okay we'll sleep

[honeypiehotchner]

My Deep Blue Love (Tom Hiddleston x Fem!Reader) -- Soulmate AU one shot

This was 100% born out of boredom and loneliness and those damn Soulmate AU POV Tiktoks that I have seen practically 24/7 for the past WEEK on my fyp

(I’m not sure if I’ll do a part 2, rn I have no plans for it)

quick note on the technicality of this one: you lose all ability to see colors when you turn 12 and you don’t regain the ability until you meet your soulmate. but! you have to meet them in person and it has to be a mutual eye contact. pictures/videos of them don’t work, and if you just saw the back of their head or something in person, that doesn’t work either. it’s all about the shared eye contact babeyyy

small disclaimer: Brie Larson is mentioned in here and she has a wife, but that is very much only in this fic, and as far as i know Brie doesn’t have a wife irl lol (i also don’t know if she’s spoken about her sexuality at all so what i’m saying is take it with a grain of salt ok)

Summary: Everyone around you is meeting their soulmate, but you still see in black and white. You’re ready to give up, and basically have, when you lock eyes with your soulmate.

Warnings: None! Just a bit of angst, lots of fluff toward the end 

You knock on your mom’s bedroom door at 4:58am. She’s already awake, sitting up in bed, ushering you over.

With tears in your eyes, you crawl onto her bed, snuggling close to her chest.

“I don’t want to lose my colors,” you whimper.

“I know, baby,” she whispers, kissing the top of your head. “It’s okay.”

You were born 12 years ago on this day at 5:08am, so in a few short minutes, when you officially turn 12 years old, all color will drain from your life.

Or the colors could stay, but that’s only if you’ve somehow already met your soulmate. And that’s rare, nearly impossible.

You squeeze your eyes shut at 5:07 and you don’t open them again until 5:10.

The colors are gone.

+++

twenty years later

You sigh heavily as you receive yet another wedding invite. You are invited to witness the official beginning of Olivia and Jeffrey’s lives together as husband and wife, soulmates for all of time.

The glitter sticks to your fingertips, tiny black dots against your skin. Your friend told you it’s gold. You barely remember what that looks like.

Lately it seems like everyone has been meeting their soulmate. Just yesterday, you were having coffee with a friend when she looked up at the girl sitting behind you, and boom.

“It’s like the world just exploded,” she had said. Colors were everywhere. She immediately left you to go talk to the girl.

You don’t blame her for that. If you had met your soulmate, you probably would’ve done the same thing. But you can’t say for sure because you don’t know.

You wouldn’t be so cynical of it all if your boyfriend of five years didn’t meet his soulmate while the two of you were out at dinner. You wish you could say that he was faking it. But it was clear from his face (and the girl’s) that he wasn’t kidding. It was real. He had met his soulmate, and it wasn’t you.

It’s never you.

You’ve had guys cut off dates before they even start, all because they didn’t see colors when they laid their eyes on you. They refuse to even be friends with you.

All anyone is doing anymore is searching for a soulmate and it’s exhausting when none of them are yours. When all of your friends see color now. When everyone assures you that it’ll happen soon. What does soon even mean?

You grab your ice cream from the freezer and fall onto the couch, flicking to whatever channel has late night shows that aren’t complete garbage.

As usual, you find yourself watching a talk show, and tonight Tom Hiddleston is one of the guests.

You’re sort of familiar with him from a few movies, but other than that, you hardly know anything about him.

“So, Tom, we’ve all been wondering what’s going on with you and Brie Larson?”

“Brie?” Tom asks, clearly shocked to hear this question. “We’re just good friends, that’s all.”

“Oh, she doesn’t make you see any colors?”

“Ah, no, actually, she does not,” Tom chuckles, but doesn’t sound sad at all, surprisingly. “Her wife does that for her, not me, I’m afraid.”

“Oh really?” The host brushes past the mention of Brie’s wife and keeps the focus on Tom, of course. “So is that true, you still don’t see color?”

Your ears perk up at the mention of someone else not seeing in color. It’s rare for anyone to talk about this on television. Most celebrities don’t talk about whether or not they’ve found their soulmate, but more often than not, those that have are quite loud about it.

“Yes, that’s true,” Tom answers. “I still see the world in a lovely black and white.”

You snort, harshly jabbing your spoon into your ice cream. Lovely. Yeah, right.

“Do you really think it’s nice? Do you not miss the colors?” The host asks.

“No, no, I do. I do,” Tom admits. “But I like to think I’ll see them when the time is right.”

You groan, going to Google to look up his age. And when you see he’s 40, you groan even louder. He’s older than you and he still hasn’t met his soulmate. That’s just depressing. How can he sound so optimistic?

“Alright, well, if there’s one thing you wish you could tell your soulmate, what would it be? Maybe they’re watching right now, you never know.”

Tom smiles wide. “Maybe, maybe, um… Oh, so many things,” Tom exhales deeply. “I guess I could be cliché and say I can’t wait to meet them and wait for me, but I think I want to say… I think I want to say I understand. It is frustrating, still seeing in black and white, but our paths will cross soon, I’m sure of it. Until then, my eyes are blue.”

Blue. Blue.

You roll your eyes. You don’t even remember what the color looks like.

+++

seven months later

“I am not going to a movie premiere. You’re insane!”

“Please!” Your friend, Catherine, cries. “You’ll love it, I swear.”

You glare at her over your coffee. “That just makes it sound like you have a trick up your sleeve.”

“I don’t,” she says. “I just want you to take advantage of this and come with us! When will you ever have the chance to go to a movie premiere again?”

She has a point. Dammit. “Touché. How did you get tickets, anyway? Please tell me you didn’t spend thousands for this.” You wouldn’t put it past her, even though you tell her not to every time before she does something like this.

“God, no, Joe surprised me with them earlier. He said he went to school with the lead.”

“Oh. Cool. Who?”

“Tom Hiddleston, I think. Have you heard of him? He’s British, but that’s about all I know. Joe just said they ran into each other the other day and reconnected.”

You stop halfway through a sip of coffee, careful to not choke on it. Slowly, you nod. “Yeah. I...I’ve seen him in a couple things.”

“Apparently, he hasn’t met his soulmate either…” Catherine trails away, raising her eyebrows at you.

You roll your eyes. “I heard,” you set your cup down. “He’s probably met them by now though since he blasted it on television like that.”

“Or he’s still searching and you’re still being too cynical.”

“You’re probably right,” you chuckle.

“Sooo, you’ll come?”

You sigh heavily. “As long as you help me pick something to wear.”

+++

“I’m regretting letting you talk me into this already,” you mutter when you nearly trip in your heels.

“Oh, hush,” Catherine swats your arm. “It’s an excuse to get dressed up and look hot for no reason. Take it.”

“Fine.”

Catherine’s soulmate, Joe, was whisked away almost as soon as the three of you stepped inside the venue by some director (you think), but he promised to return in a few minutes. Catherine told him not to worry. She’s used to him being dragged away for conversation. You can see from her face that she’s more proud of him than anything, and not at all annoyed.

Currently, you and Catherine are standing near the small bar, waiting for them to announce that it’s time to take your seats. You desperately want a drink, but part of you knows it would be a bad idea.

One glass of wine can’t hurt, though. Maybe it’ll take your mind off the pain in your feet.

You peel away from Catherine when you see Joe coming back, and you flag the bartender down quickly.

After ordering a glass of white wine, you wait patiently, wishing you had chosen a dress with sleeves. It’s fucking cold in here.

“Darling, you’re shivering, are you alright?”

Your head turns toward the smooth voice, face set and mind trying to decipher whether or not it was a sincere or creepy comment when the world quite literally explodes.

There, standing beside you, concern written all over his face, is Tom Hiddleston. Only now the concern has washed away into awe when your eyes lock with his.

“Oh my god,” he whispers, stumbling even though he’s standing in place.

“Blue,” you murmur. “Your eyes are blue.” Without even thinking or asking, your hand lifts to cup his cheek, and then you pull back, “Shit, sorry—”

But he grabs your wrist gently, placing your palm on his cheek. “It’s alright.” His thumb strokes the back of your hand. “I have been looking everywhere for you.”

“I thought you didn’t exist,” you whisper in reply. But here he is. His eyes are blue, his lips are pink, he has tiny brown freckles all over his rosy cheeks. You look back to his eyes, narrowing your own. “You liar. Your eyes have green in them, too.”

“Do they really?” Tom chuckles. “I never would’ve known.”

“That’s why you have me,” you tease, and you don’t know where any of this is coming from, yet it doesn’t feel like you’re pretending. It feels like you’re finally yourself.

His other hand tangles with yours as he nods. “That’s why I have you, indeed.”

At this time, the lights in the theatre begin lightly flashing, signaling that it’s time for everyone to begin making their way to their seats.

But neither you or Tom move one inch.

The only issue is people are beginning to stare.

You notice it first, so you slowly pull your hand from his cheek. This movement shocks him back to reality, too, and he blinks a few times, yet he doesn’t let go of your hand.

“I, um, I have to make a speech,” he says. “But then I can come back to you. Will you save me a seat?”

“Don’t you have to sit up front?”

He nods. “I do, but—”

“Then I’ll come with you.” You aren’t sure if it’s the fact that he hasn’t let go of your hand yet, or if it’s because you’ve been waiting so long that now you don’t want him to be further than an arms length away from you, but you mean what you say.

“Are you sure?” He asks, but you both need to make a decision quickly because you can see someone waving from the wings, most likely trying to get Tom’s attention.

“I’m sure.”

He doesn’t question it, in fact, he grins, and brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “Let’s go, then.”

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x fem!reader #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x soulmate!reader #tom hiddleston soulmate au #soulmate au #tom hiddleston one shot #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #completely self indulgent #as always

[kanmom51]

In the new tokopedia interview, jk said saranghae to v, apparently it's a wordplay but we know all the Fandom will say he just confessed. Tbh I'm a bit sad, maybe he really meant, and he never said that to jm..

Before I start, let me be clear here:

This is only going to be addressed once. No more asks about this will be answered.

JK said "I love you" to Tae twice (consecutively) in the Tokopedia interview. The sky is falling down. Wait a second here. No it in actual **** isn't.

Where do I start here? With JK professing his love to Tae or with an interview recorded around 4 months ago (the Butter era - Tae with poodle hair - no offence)?

I will start with the interview then.

Yes, omg, JK actually said the words "I love you, I love you" to Tae, who was first to try and hit the balloon with the dart and succeeded. He earned 4 points. Was it to congratulate or placate him I don't know, but it sure in hell wasn't a profession of love.

If the man I loved would profess his love to me that way, he would find himself sleeping on the lawn outside (we don't have a doghouse, lol).

Yeah, thumbs up, "I love you" - sound real loving.

Since that interview, close to 4 months ago approx., many waters have flowed in the river, waters that showed us exactly how JK & JM are doing just fine.

These are my opinions of course, and everyone is free to think as they will, but once again, I think people need to take a step back, look at the big picture, stop judging every single action or word that come out of these boys mouths.

JK doesn't have to profess his love for JM in front of us. What JK feels about JM, believe me JM knows. How many times do we have to say that JM would not have stuck around if his emotional needs weren't met by JK? JM has said in the past how important it is to him to hear "I love you", so I can only assume that he hears it on a regular basis from the person he is romantically involved with.

Oh, and btw, this claim JK has NEVER said "I love you" to JM is growing real old.

JK has said "I love you" to JM, for us to hear, and he has done so more than once. He said it to JM during the eat Jin Vlive (at JM's request, but he said it); He said it to JM during the Paris concert (it was talked down as a mistake in translation, but hell no, he said it out loud in front of thousands of fans); He said it to JM during JM's Vlive when he took the phone from Jin (JK's voice & JM's happy flustered reaction said it all); He told him he loved him in sign language on the red carpet in front of all of the media; He said it following JM saying how important it is for him to hear those words, and seconds after JK himself saying he never initiates it, but then turning around and saying "I love you" to JM; And there is RB too, the "I love you"'s, the whispering in JM's ear and what followed.

JK also told JM he wanted him, he told him he will always be no. 1 to him, he flirts with him constantly, looks at him like he's the most precious thing he has ever seen, is willing to give up Marvel for Harry Potter just to be with JM, etc. etc.

Just to wrap this up in a little bow anon, I will make this as clear as I can:

All the members love each other. They love each other as friends. They have said so to each other. Suga told both JK & Tae he loved them. Suga told JM he loved him. Jin said it to Suga. Jin said it to JK and he said it back. BV1 recorded message from everyone, including JK saying "I love you" to Tae. JM said it to JK. JM said it to Hobi. JM said it to Suga. RM said it to Jin. And I can go on and on and on here. They love each other, they say it to each other.

Does the fact that JM said it to other members mean he loves JK any less? No. Because you can love your parents, your siblings, your friends and your partner. Each and every one of them is a different kind of love, but it's still love. So why the double standards here anon? Why is it ok when JM says it to other members but not JK?

I tell you what I think.

I think it's ok for them to do what the hell they want to. They are free to tell the other members they love them, they have been doing so over the years, and low and behold, it doesn't seem to bother either of them. And why would that be? Because they are secure in their love for each other. They, unlike many fans, understand the complexity of life, friendship and being in love with someone. They are not threatened by their partner saying "I love you" to their other friends, because they know that when it's said to them (in private, when it matters) it's a different "I love you", one saved for a lover, not a friend.

#ask #anon

[struggling-with-time]

Rainy days [Corpse x reader]

Paring: Corpse husband x Female!reader

Summary: “corpse x fem!reader ( she’s also a youtuber ) where they are just friends for a few years, but reader has been developing feelings for a while now. with corpse’s fan base growing so quickly, there’s also a lot of growing attention from other girls ( fans & other social media influencers ). corpse is happy with all the attention, while it is breaking the reader’s heart more every day. basically, super angsty lol and it’s totally up to you how you want to end it!” requested by anon

“please make one where like the reader and corpse fought so its like raining outside and yk the cliche type” requested by anon

Warnings: Angst and jealousy, kinda sad, I’m sorry

Words: 1.8k

A/N: Open for requests. Two requests for one.

Read part 2 cloudy afternoons here

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

You’re happy for Corpse, of course you are. What good friend wouldn’t be happy for their friend when they suddenly start to shoot for the stars? You definitely would. Right? It’s not like it hurts to watch him take in all these girls that throw themselves at him, he has never been happier for the many years you’ve known him. His YouTube channel is finally paying the bills for him, and you’re happy he doesn’t have to fear getting an eviction note, for dancing on the line a little too long. You’re happy that he has all these new friends. You’re happy he’s enjoying himself. You’re happy, because he’s happy.  So why does it hurt so much?

You’ve had feelings for your best friend for quite some time. You tried to push them away, which in return just seemed to cultivate them and make them stronger. You tried your damn best just to be his quirky happy best friend that was along with him for the ride. You never minded being the one to pick up the pieces when he fell apart. He would do the same for you… He would do the same for you, right?

You wipe away a tear escaping from your eye. You’re sitting in the shower crying on the floor. This is really what you’ve become? You think to yourself, as you lean your head back against the wall, looking up at the wooden ceiling.

He would do the same for you…

You dryly laugh to yourself, of course he wouldn’t, because then he would have known when you started pulling away. You wipe the tears away, get up and rise off your face once more, before stepping out. You look at where your mirror used to be. You took it down, not able to face yourself was easier than to accept this is just how you look permanently now. Dark circles underneath your eyes, as they’ve sunken quite a bit.

You kind of forgot how you really looked sometimes, until you caught yourself in something reflective, like your pc when it ran out of power, or your metallic glazed mug. You smile bitterly at the memory, Corpse had bought it to you when you reached 100.000 subs on YouTube, saying the play button wasn’t enough. It used to be a prized possession, now it was one of your worst.

You’re happy you build your YouTube brand on variety gaming, without a face cam. You couldn’t imagine having to explain away the way you looked. The monotone in your voice was hard enough.

I was just having an off day

Sorry, kind of sick today

My microphone isn’t picking up my voice probably.

You sigh to yourself as you collect your phone, and your empty bag. The fridge doesn’t fill itself. You’re pretty sure your fans caught onto something being wrong by the 4th excuse. You lock the door behind you, and glace up at the sky. It seems to be getting darker. You sigh as you realize you’re not going to be back home before it’s raining.

You walk the short distance down to the bus as you wait for it to arrive, you scroll through your twitter feed. It’s filled with pretty girls, much prettier than you are, throwing themselves at Corpse. You get a sudden urge to throw your phone into the passing traffic, but money has been tight lately with your down tuning of content, to take more time to be able to self-pity in the living room with a shitty romance show going on.

You really lost your best friend to your own feelings, huh. What an anticlimax.

You step onto the bus, not noticing the black dressed, black masked guy in the end of it. Watching you intentionally. If you had been able to read minds, you would hear the ongoing battle in his head on whether or not to approach you.

The bus pulls up the grocery store and you get off. Not sparing the other two passengers getting off a second thought. You pull your jacket closer together, as the wind starts getting colder. You finally arrive in the store, just a few seconds before the rain starts to drop.

The calming ominous music of the store fills your eyes, as you focus on getting something edible that isn’t directly just sugar with more sugar. You pick your groceries carefully, nothing that needs a lot of preparation. But if you eat one more tv meal, you’re going to throw it up. You’re too distracted by what pasta to choose, that you don’t realise the guy in black has now passed you for the 5th time, while you’re in aisle 9.

You choose both and head for the register. You sigh as you watch the long line, there’s only one way out, and you’re certainly not leaving your groceries now. You step in line. And pull out your phone. The lock screen taunting you with a picture of you and Corpse mushed together somehow in his gaming chair, you’re pretty sure it was Dave that took the photo. You shake your head and check the time. The bus just left. You sigh knowing there is a little over an hour before the next one leaves. Fucking public transport.

It finally becomes you, you watch the price tick up further and further. You take your card out. Swipes it through.

Declined.

What? You try it again

Declined.

C’mon, it has got to work. You try again

Declined.

And again

Declined.

And again

Declined.

You smile apologetic to the cashier, as you start to figure out what you won’t be needing too much.

“I’ll pay for her.”  A deep voice speaks further down the line. You know exactly the person whose voice that is.

“Please, you don’t have to-“ You watch as Corpse steps out of the line and puts a box of cereal on the register for the cashier to ring up with the rest of your stuff.

“I don’t-“

“That’ll be 79 dollars and 32 cents, please.” The cashier ignores you.

Corpse pays and gets the receipt, knowing you’re going to beg him for you to pay him back. You used to do the same when you were little. Corpse stands by as he watches you pack your groceries, and he waits for you. He barely recognized you in the bus. It’s been weeks since you last spoke, and even longer since you last saw each other. He knows you were getting bad, but not this bad. He don’t know why he never reached out he knows he should. But there are too many unsaid things hanging in the air, and neither of you wanting to be the one to pick the first one.

He reaches out to take one of the two bags. But you take it right underneath him, and walk to the doors, leaving him to hurry after or be left behind.

“Y/N I-“

He gets surprised by the rain, he hadn’t noticed the darkening sky earlier. You keep walking until he calls out after you again.

“Y/N! Please!”

You stop in you tracks. To think you had missed hearing your name from his lips, he uses it like it’s not the only thing you have left that’s your own.

He jogs the remaining distance and puts his hand on your shoulder, and you let him turn you around to make him face you. He’s not sure if it’s the rain, or if it’s tears that’s starting to fall. He takes the rest of your face in, the dark circles, the clear weight loss. He know, you don’t know how much you don’t look like yourself.

“Listen, thank you, I’ll pay you back next month. But if you’re not going to say anything, I have places to be, and-“

He puts his hand on her chin caressing it. She suddenly looks so small standing there in front of him. You quickly pull yourself back, wanting to lean into his touch, but knowing that it would only make what hurts, hurt more in the end.

“What did you want?” You snap at him. And something snaps in him too, as his brows furrows together.

“Oh I don’t know. Say hi to my best who just up and disappeared from the face of earth two months ago. I wonder what I want.” He snaps back at you, his deep voice nearly emitting a growl of frustration from him.

“So what, that’s what it takes 2 months before you want to find me. Did you get tired of all those girls throwing themselves at you? Did you get tired of your new friends you just cast me aside from? Did you get tired of all the money? Please do tell.” You stretch out your arms in a welcoming stance.

Corpse takes a step back, you’ve never yelled at him like this before. Tears streaming down your face as you’re soothing anger.

“…You think I threw you aside?” Corpse sucks in a breath waiting for your anger to come at him, but instead you suddenly look small again.

“Didn’t you Corpse? The excuse why I could never come over anymore, why you never had time. I was happy for you, you know, I supported you all the way. Heck I even fucking loved you, and you cast me aside, you up and threw away so many memories and a long friendship, just because I suddenly didn’t fit into your new group.” You look him straight in the eyes. “Corpse, I’m tired okay. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t keep picking up your pieces and help you reassemble yourself, for you to keep casting me aside. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t need your pity; I don’t need anything from you. I’ll make sure you get the money first thing next month.”

She takes a step away from him, the before intimate atmosphere now fully escaped.

“All I ask is that we part here. I love you too much to watch you fall apart again.” Your voice is trembling as you turn around heading for the bus stop, leaving Corpse in the rain to fend for himself.

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse husband fic #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband imagine #delias own writing