#this poetic mood when you have to work

[tightjeansjavi]

honey pot 🍯

(Mood board is just for aesthetics! Reader has no physical descriptions such as body type or skin color)

A/N: so after watching a very ✨spicy✨ video, I came up with this deliciously filthy idea of neighbor!joel becoming your fuck buddy. The only problem? You have a boyfriend already 🤭 just a disclaimer, I do not condone cheating and this fic might not be for everyone, and that’s okay!

~word count: 2.7k~

Summary: you’ve been fucking your hot neighbor, Joel Miller, all summer without your boyfriend finding out until you end up faking an orgasm with him. You tell Joel that you can no longer see him, and he comes up with a solution that works for the both of you.

pairing | hot neighbor!Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: smut, age gap (Joel is 36 reader is 25) infidelity/cheating (done to the readers bf) dom/sub, daddy kink, unprotected piv, praise kink, pet names: baby, angel, sweetness, petal, fluff, consent, some angst??pussy play, we can’t fuck, but we can do other things! Joel is a real good filthy talker, reader and Joel are down bad for one another, helping hand vibes, fwb/fuck buddy, smut with no plot, reader has no physical descriptions but keeps her genitalia groomed, +18 minors dni!

main masterlist masterlist

You had been fucking your ridiculous, sinfully hot neighbor for the entirety of the summer. It started off as some innocent nonchalant flirting that you thought was harmless. What your boyfriend didn’t know, wouldn’t harm him, right? Besides, you were feeling deeply neglected in your current relationship. The honeymoon phase had worn off, and you were feeling frustrated and lonely on most nights. Guess football and guys night held a higher importance than his relationship with you. Well, so be it then. You could play the good little girlfriend that your boyfriend wanted you to be..and still have your cake and eat it.

That’s why falling head over heels for your neighbor Joel Miller was as easy as sliced pie. It was early June when you found a bouquet of fresh wildflowers on your front porch step with a note attached to one of the stems. It read, ‘Out of all the flowers in the patch, you are by far the prettiest petal.’ -J.M

So, he was hot and poetic? What more could you really want?

It was the following Friday that Joel finally got the courage to show up on your front step. He barely was able to ask you if you’d like to come over for dinner that evening when you blurted out an enthusiastic ‘yes!’

Joel was hot, poetic, and he could fucking cook? Yeah, you were positively screwed in the best way possible. Not only could he cook, but he actually showed interest in you. Your hobbies, your likes and dislikes, and for the first time in months, you actually felt like you were being appreciated.

So, it came as no surprise that after you both indulged his cooking skills, that you proceeded to let him ravage you on the table. Yours and his clothes were practically shredded to the floor as he kissed and licked every inch of your skin like a man starved. He made you cum more times in that evening than you thought was even possible, and my god, his cock? Jesus christ, you’re getting wet all over again just thinking about how it felt like he was splitting you in two, filling you to the fucking brim as you cried out his name and begged for more. Faster, harder, oh please, daddy, don’t stop!

“Yeah? You want more of daddy’s cock? S’that what you want?” He nearly purred as his sweat stained curls lightly tickled your forehead. His eyes were glued to the spot where your bodies were connected. He sucked in a harsh breath as his vision glazed over at the sight of your pretty little pussy tugging his cock right back in with each of his heavy thrusts.

“See the way your pussy is huggin’ my cock so tight? Pullin’ me right back in? Look how fuckin’ pretty she is, baby. Think she is the prettiest pussy I've ever seen in my entire life. She’s all mine, right? C’mon, my petal, I needa hear ya say it.” His nostrils flared as he licked hungrily into your mouth. He was consuming every last bit of you, and you were enjoying every minute of it.

“Yours, daddy! All yours.” You whined as your walls clenched down like a tight fist around his cock.

All good things must come to an end unfortunately, and your little fantasy that had been fulfilled every evening that summer, was going to have to end. That stupid boyfriend of yours was beginning to catch on ever since he caught you faking an orgasm the last time you and him had sex. Oops?

It physically pained you to even think about cutting ties with Joel. He was unconditionally good to you. All he asked for was your company. He didn’t need to ask; it was already his.

The leaves were beginning to change with the seasons as fall was approaching on the horizon. It was nearing five in the evening when you heard the all too familiar sound of Joel’s truck tires grinding over the cement. His driver side door swung shut as his footsteps neared your front steps. He was home from work, and immediately he wanted to see you. Nothing else mattered to him except seeing your pretty face.

You were pacing nervously in the front hallway as you went over the exact words you were going to tell him. We can be friends, right? Right. After you’ve spent months in his sheets, and he in yours, you’re just going to be friends? Fat chance.

You were torn from your thoughts at the sound of his knuckles rapping lightly on your front door as you wringed your hands together, taking a few deep breaths before you grasped the door handle in your palm and pulled it open.

“Hey, baby. Lookin’ gorgeous as usual.” Your fuck buddy drawled with that low, deep, texas twang of his as he leaned his elbow right up against the doorjamb.

Oh, fuck. You could feel a gush between your thighs just from the way he was leaning against your damn door.

Stay strong. Don’t fold. Don’t fold. Don’t–

“S’matter, baby? Everything’ all good n’that pretty head of yours?” He cocked his head to the side as a frown slowly spread across his lips when he saw your eyes suddenly grow glassy as a stray tear wobbled down your cheek.

“Baby–” He started, but you cut him off.

“We can’t fuck anymore, Joel.” You painfully muttered as his hand reached out to warmly cup your face while his thumb lightly brushed away your tear.

“Baby, what’s goin’ on? Somethin’ happen?” He sounded genuinely concerned as more tears began to fall and land on his bronzed skin.

“It’s my boyfriend,” You sniffled solemnly. “He knows, Joel.” Your misty dewdrop eyes met his calm gaze as he let out a soft breath between his parted lips.

“Oh, baby..I'm so sorry. I thought we were bein–’”

“Careful? Yeah, I did too.”

“How does he know?..”

“I faked an orgasm with him the last time we had sex which I think it was a week ago? Well, he grew suspicious after that. I’m so sorry, Joel. I never meant for things to get this messy.” You truly did feel awful for dragging Joel into all of this, and you never had the intention to hurt him.

“Baby, s’alright. Y’know what ain't alright? That stupid boyfriend of yours still not knowing how to treat his fuckin’ girl right. You’d think by now the guy would have some idea of how he should be treating you.” Joel held in a scoff as his hand that wasn’t presently caressing your cheek, dropped down to your waist as he pulled you in close. “I..guess this is goodbye then?”

“I don’t want it to be.” You murmured softly as you leaned into his comforting touch along your needy skin.

“Baby, y’know..it doesn’t have to be a goodbye then.” The gears in his brain were already beginning to twist and turn as he thought of a viable solution to your little problem.

“What do you mean? Joel, i’m serious, we can’t fuck anymore.”

“Sweetness, I know we can’t, and I respect that. I’ll never put my dick inside of ya again, unless you ask. But, I do think I have a solution for our little problem.”

Your pupils nearly doubled in size as the tip of his thumb dragged down across your lower lip as he tugged the soft flesh gently. His eyes bore deeply into yours as your thighs subconsciously rubbed together to relieve the building tension that was growing in the pit of your stomach.

“What is your solution, Joel? I’m all ears.”

“Well, first, I was hopin’ I could get a kiss. Been thinkin’ about these pretty lips and how badly I wanna kiss ‘em the second I walked through that door.” He rasped warmly.

Your immediate reaction was to loop your arms around his neck and close the smidge of a gap between the two of you before firmly pressing your lips against his. You licked into one another’s mouth with the same amount of passion. You could taste a morsel of tobacco along his tongue; must have bummed a smoke off of Tommy, as his hand that was wrapped firmly around your waist, slowly drifted down as he grabbed a handful of your left ass-cheek. A surprise squeak slipped past your lips as your tongues tangled.

“So, we can’t fuck, but there’s somethin’ else we can do..” He trailed off as he slowly detached his lips from yours. A string of saliva was visible between your once linked lips.

“You are not fucking sticking your dick up my ass. Don’t even think about it.”

He stifled a chuckle before stealing one more quick kiss. “Baby, I wasn’t thinkin’ about stickin’ my dick up your ass. I promise. I had somethin’ else in mind. Can I show you what I'm talkin’ about?”

You were weary at first, because what could he possibly have in mind? Going down on you? Okay, sure. You certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it, but if that was the case, why didn’t he just say it?

“Okay, I want you to show me what you’re talking about.” You agreed.

“Good girl. I promise this will be worth your while baby.” He pressed a tender kiss to your temple before he reached for your hand. Your fingers interlaced as he proceeded to lead you up the stairs to your bedroom. Your panties were undeniably soaked at this point, and he hadn’t even touched you yet.

“Go’n sit on the bed for me, darlin.’” He spoke firmly, yet softly as you padded over to your bed and slowly sunk down along the comforter.

“Now, sweetness, before you start worryin’ your pretty little mind about that silly boyfriend of yours, I promise that he won’t know about this.”

You dumbly nodded as you crossed one leg over the other, awaiting his next request.

“I trust you, daddy.” You softly cooed.

“Good girl. Now, I want you to take your pants off for me, baby.”

You wasted no time to pop the button off your jeans as you dragged the zipper down. You started shimmying the denim fabric down your thighs and legs, but before you could even grasp the band of your panties, he was stopping you.

“No, no, Angel. Jus’ your pants. Keep your panties on.”

Why was that so hot.

You slipped your thumbs out from under the thin elastic band of your panties before you kicked your jeans to the side. Your mouth began to water the moment you heard the familiar sound of his belt buckle clinking open.

“Good girl. Now, I jus’ want you to lay your pretty ass on the comforter. Spread your thighs a little, but not too much.”

You could feel the wet patch pooling through the thin fabric of your panties as you slowly leaned back on your elbows along the comforter and spread your thighs just enough that he could fit between them.

Your pussy pulsed inwards the second your eyes landed on his bare cock that was hanging out of the opening in his jeans. You nearly drooled as he swiped his thumb across his ruddy weeping tip that had a bead of pre-cum drooling from the small slit. He twisted his wrist a couple times before he slowly approached you.

His lips curved upwards in a sly grin when he saw the cock-dumb look on your pretty face. You took your lower lip harshly between your teeth when you felt the rough skin of his thumb brush across your covered aching clit as he gently rubbed the swollen nub in tight expert circles. His freehand was still wrapped around the base of hs cock as he watched your face twist into pleasure.

“Y’know, it makes me so fuckin’ mad that you ain’t bein’ treated right. The only weepin’ you and your pretty pussy should be doin’ is the good kind. Y’got literal honey drippin’ between your thighs, darlin.’ He oughta start worshipin’ you sooner, before someone else ends up doin’ it for him.” He tsked under his breath.

“Joel,” You whimpered wantonly.

“I know, baby. I know. I’m gonna respect your wishes n’not fuck you, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t make ya feel good. I’ll always take care of you, angel. No silly boyfriend of yours can stop me from treatin’ you right.” He murmured as he dragged his thumb down to the inside of your panties. He gently hooked his thumb around the damp fabric before he pulled it to the side. His mouth went dry at the sight of your glistening, puffy, needy little pussy. When it came to women, he didn’t mind their choices to never shave, or to just trim, or to completely go bare. He loved their pussies regardless of how they were groomed, or their natural appearance. They were all beautiful in his eyes, and deserved to be worshiped. But, he couldn’t deny how fucking pretty yours was, and how your slickness clung to the fabric of your panties like glue made his cock twitch in his palm.

He could bite his fist right then and there, but he had a job to complete.

“So pretty, baby. Prettiest little pussy. G’nna take extra good care of her now, okay?”

“Thank you, daddy.” you spoke above a whisper as he slowly slid the tip of his cock underneath your panties. You could feel the slick coolness of his pre-cum sliding across your folds as he rolled his hips forward. A deep grunt rumbled up his chest as he nudged your clit.

“You’re welcome, baby. Y’jus’ sit back and enjoy yourself, okay? Daddy is gonna do all the work for ya.” He promised you with a chaste kiss to your swollen lips as his hands came to rest along your thighs.

Now you fully understood what Joel meant by his solution to not fucking you. Christ, this was almost better than the feeling of his cock splitting you open. How lucky you were to have a man treat you like a princess.

“Oh, fuck.” You mewled as he thrust his hips faster, mimicking the same movements as if he was fucking you. “That feels so good, daddy.”

“Mhmm. I know it does, baby. I told you this would be worth your while.” He took his own lip between his teeth as he focused on the rhythm of his thrusts.

“This is almost better than fucking, almost.” You softly moaned as he increased his pace. Your hands found his as your orgasm slowly began to build.

“Nothin’ is better than fuckin’, Angel. Jus’ so lucky to make you feel good one last time. You’re doin’ so good for me, baby. I want you to cum, okay? I want to see you ruin those pretty little panties.” He urged you praisingly as the tip of his cock continuously bumped against your clit.

He was playing your pussy 100x better than your boyfriend ever could as you reveled in the pure pleasurable feeling one last time.

It didn’t take you long to reach your high as Joel’s hips stuttered forward as he spilled his hot seed right between your slick folds. He slowly slipped his cock out from underneath your ruined panties. He pressed soft kisses to your face, a playful nibble to the tip of your nose before his lips found yours in a searing kiss.

“Better take these for safe keepin’ so your boyfriend doesn’t know I was here.” He stated with a snicker as he gently slipped your soaked panties down your thighs. “I’ll getcha a fresh pair, okay, sweetness?”

Just as he was about to get up from your bed, your hand encased around his wrist, caging him in your grasp momentarily. “Wait, Joel?”

“What is it, baby?”

“Maybe..this won’t be the last time?..”

“Baby..”

“I want you, and if that means I have to break up with my stupid boyfriend? Then so be it. I’ll break up with him.”

“Angel, are you absolutely sure that’s what you want to do?”

“Yes. i’ll call him up as soon as you finish fucking me, and i’ll tell him that it’s over.”

A wicked grin spread across his lips as he situated himself between your thighs once more. “Well, I guess you won’t be needin’ a fresh pair of panties after all, huh baby?” He teased.

“Nope. Not while you’re around, Daddy.”

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[zot3-flopped]

Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this! When Taylor Swift took the Grammys stage last month to claim her award for Best Pop Vocal Album for Midnights, she saw that spotlight as an opportunity to announce her 11th studio album: The Tortured Poets Department. The follow-up cut to audience members—Swift’s music industry peers, mind you—told us all that we would ever need to know, and the collective disinterest across the crowd echoed through our TVs.

Folks from all walks of life took to social media to express a multitude of reactions. Swifties clamored to their beloved monarch’s forthcoming era, while others lambasted the terminally cringe title and artwork and ridiculed Swift for making a night recognizing musical achievements across an entire industry about herself—knowing perfectly well that it would send her fanbase into a surge that would, no doubt, overpower the excitement around the ceremony itself.

Quite a few people questioned whether or not that moment suggested that a critical—definitely not commercial—tide would turn against the world’s most-famous pop star. And, perhaps it has—but, to most, it will look like nothing more than a single ripple in Swift’s ocean of successes.

Swift remained relatively hush-hush about The Tortured Poets Department up until its release, leaving her fans, admirers and haters alike with nothing but an album title to ponder about. And it’s a bad title.

If you have never been in Swift’s corner, her taking the route of labeling her next “era” as “tortured” was likely catnip for your disinterest. If you are a fan—not necessarily a Swiftie, but even just a casual lover of her best and brightest work—you might be beside yourself about the first Swift album title longer than one word in 14 years.

In terms of popularity—certainly not always in terms of quality—no musician has been bigger this century than Swift, which makes it impossible to really buy into the “torture” of it all.

This is not to say that Swift being the most famous person in the world makes her immune to having multi-dimensional feelings of heartbreak, mental illness or what-have-you.

But, she has made the choice—as a 34-year-old adult—to take those complex, universal familiars and monetize them into a wardrobe she can wear for whatever portion of her Eras Tour setlist she opts to dedicate to the material.

Torture is fashion to Taylor Swift, and she wears her milieu dully. This album will surely get comparisons to Rupi Kaur’s poetry, either for its simplicity, empty language, commodification or all of the above.

And, sure, there are parallels there, especially in how The Tortured Poets Department, too, is going to set the art of poetry back another decade—as Swift’s naive call-to-arms of her own milky-white sorrow rings in like some quintessential “I am going to take pictures of a typewriter on my desk and have a Pinterest mood-board of Courier New font” iPhone fodder. 2013 called and it wants it capricious, suburban girl-who-is-taking-a-gap-year wig back!

Soaking our book reports in coffee or having our moms burn the edges with a kitchen lighter cannot come back into fashion; the cyclical notions of culture cannot make the space for such retreads.

There is nothing poetic about a billionaire—who, mind you, threatens legal action against a Twitter account for tracking her destructive private jet paths—telling stadiums of thousands of people every night that she sees and adores them.

Tavi Gevinson says it well in her Fan Fiction zine: “When 80,000 people are also crying, you become less special, too.” If Swift can return to one of her dozen beach houses across the world, kick up her feet and say “I’m a poet of struggle,” then who is to say that millions—maybe billions—of people with access to a notes app and a social media account won’t dream that dream, too?

Maybe that looks like a net-positive, but it’s inherently damning and destructive to take an art form that has long stood on the shoulders of resistance, of love and of opposition to power, systematic injustice and climate warfare and boil it down to the new defining era of your own 10-digit revenue empire. “My culture is not your costume,” yada, etc.

The Tortured Poets Department does begin with a shred of hope that, just maybe, Swift knows what she’s talking about—as she sneaks in a cheeky “all of this to say,” textbook transitional phrasing for poets, on opening track “Fortnight.”

But “Fortnight” unmasks itself quickly as a heady vat of pop nothingness, though it isn’t all Swift’s fault. “I was a functioning alcoholic, ‘til nobody noticed my new aesthetic,” she muses, attempting to bridge the gap between a behind-the-scenes life and on-stage performance—only for it to occur while propped up against the most dog-water, uninspired synth arrangement you could possibly imagine.

Between producer Jack Antonoff’s atrocious backing instrumental and the Y2K-era, teen dramedy echo chamber of a vocal harmony provided by out-of-place guest performer Post Malone, “Fortnight” chokes on the vomit of its own opaqueness.

“I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary,” Swift muses, and it sounds like satire. This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools.

The Tortured Poets Department title-track features some of Swift’s worst lyricism to-date, including the irredeemable, relentlessly cringe “You smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate, we declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist / I scratch your head, you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever” lines glazed atop some synthesizers and drums that just ring in as hollow, unfascinating costuming.

Aside from the Puth nod, which I can only discern as a joke (given the fact that he is one of the 150-most streamed artists in the world and is one of the blandest pop practitioners alive—I don’t care if he can figure out the pitch of any sound you throw at him), I think Antonoff should stick to guitar-playing. Get that man away from a keyboard, I’m begging you.

Synths can be, if you use them correctly, one of the most emotional and provocative instruments in any musician’s tool-box. There’s a reason why keyboards defined the 1980s; they rebelled against the very oppressive nature existing outside of the cultural company they kept. There’s resistance in electronic music that, while they brandish an aesthetic that, to a layman’s ears, seems like technicolor hues for any infectious pop track, it’s a genre that aches to tell its own story. That is simply not the case here, and that electronica hangs Swift out to dry when she drags us through the lukewarm “I laughed in your face and said, ‘You’re not Dylan Thomas, I’m not Patti Smith’ / This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel, we’re modern idiots” lines, only to hit us with a softly sung F-bomb that sounds like a billionaire’s rendition of that one Miranda Cosgrove podcast clip.

I used to rag pretty heavily on Reputation—mostly because I thought (and still do, mostly) that it sounded like Swift had given up on making interesting, progressive pop music; that, in the wake of her (arguably) best album, 1989, it seemed like she’d lost the plot on where to go next. But as she’s put out Midnights and The Tortured Poets Department back-to-back, I find myself clamoring for the Reputation-era more than ever—at least seven years ago, Swift wrote songs like she had something to prove and even more to lose.

That was the always-obvious charm of Reputation, even despite the downsides—that she took a big swing from the echelons of her own musical immortality, that the comforts of winning every award and selling out the biggest venues in the world were no longer pillowing her aspirations. Even though that swing didn’t land, she still made it in the first place—and Swift is at her best either when she is clawing upwards (Reputation) or faced with nowhere to go but into the studio and noodle with the bare-bones of her own sensibilities (folklore).

You get something like The Tortured Poets Department when the artist making it no longer feels challenged, where she strikes out looking.

The mid-ness of The Tortured Poets Department will not be a net-loss for Swift. She will sell out arenas and get her streams until she elects to quit this business (a phrase decidedly not in her vocabulary, surely).

She will sell more merch bundles than vinyl plants have the capacity to make, and rows of variant LP copies will haunt the record aisles of Target stores just as long as Midnights has—if not longer.

Perhaps, in five or six years’ time, we will speak of this record just as we now do of Reputation. But right now, it is obvious that Swift no longer feels challenged to be good. The Tortured Poets Department is the mark of an artist now interested in seeing how much their empire can atone for the sins of mediocrity.

Can Swift win another Album of the Year Grammy simply because she released a record during the eligibility period? The Tortured Poets Department reeks of “because I can,” not “because I should.”

On “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can),” Swift tries stepping into the shoes of the country renegades who came before her—the Tammy Wynettes and Loretta Lynns of the world. But her self-aggrandizing inflation of importance, glinting through via a seismically-bland bridge, is backed by a minimal set dressing of guitar, drum machine and keys.

“Good boy, that’s right, come close,” she sings. “I’ll show you Heaven if you’ll be an angel—all mine. Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man. No, really, I can.” On “Florida!!!,” Swift calls upon Florence + the Machine to help her sing the worst chorus of 2024: “Florida is one hell of a drug / Florida, can I use you up?”

Even Welch, who is a fantastic pop singer-songwriter in her own right, delivers a grossly watery verse: “The hurricane with my name, when it came I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away.”

Not even the typos on the Spotify promotional materials for this album could have foretold such offenses. I won’t even get into the sonics, because Antonoff just rewrites the same soulless patterns every time.

What separates The Tortured Poets Department from something like Reputation is that, on the latter, Swift made it known what was at stake and who she was making that album for—herself, in the aftermath of her greatest long-standing criticisms (“Look What You Made Me Do” triumphs exactly because of this).

On The Tortured Poets Department, there is a striking level of moral nothingness. The stakes are practically non-existent, and the album sounds like it was made by someone who believes that they had no other choice but to finish it, as if Swift fundamentally believes that her creative measures are firmly embedded in the massive monopoly her name and brand currently hold on popular music. That’s how you get meandering pop songs about hookups, wine moms, Stevie Nicks comparisons, Jehovah’s Witness suit mentions, hollowed-out, tone-deaf nods to white-collar crime in lieu of empowerment and, topically, Barbie dolls.

(Don’t even get me started on the Anthology lyrics, which feature these absolute barn-burners: “Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto” and “My friends used to play a game where / We would pick a decade / We wished we could live in instead of this / I’d say the 1830s, but without all the racists / And getting married off for the highest bid.”) This album and its hackneyed grasps at relevance exist as “Did I just hear that?” personified, but in the most derogatory sense of the notion.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” features another low-point in Swift’s lyrical oeuvre, as she sings “I felt more when we played pretend than with all the Kens, ‘cause he took me out of my box”—perhaps a measure of her capitalizing on the Barbenheimer mania that none of us could escape, not even the musician who spent most of 2023 flying across the world from one country to another.

But you, us, the listener—we want to believe that Swift makes these records because she has the artistic will, drive and interest to continue giving us parts of her story in such ways that they exist as an archival of her life.

But the problem is that, on The Tortured Poets Department, Swift is packaging her life into a form that is easily consumable for the 17 or 18 years olds who pour over her music. Just because her Eras Tour film is on Disney+ doesn’t mean she has to strip her songwriting (which we know can be, and has been, phenomenal) down for the sake of it being digestible by a wide spectrum of ages.

And, sure, maybe that makes the work accessible. But on The Tortured Poets Department, Swift makes Zoomer jargon her bag—titling a song after one of the most popular video games in the world and conjuring flickers of “down bad” and “I can fix him”—and it feels like she’s cosplaying because the Fountain of Youth was out of order.

Now that Swift is in her 30s, it sounds like she is infantilizing her own audience more than ever before—that singing to them at a level that could force them to reckon with something more akin with adulthood would be some kind of kink in the coil or her consumeristic threshold, that writing lyrics that sound like they were penned by a 30-year-old would, somehow, deter the interests of the billions of people who adore her.

If making one, continuous coming-of-age album is what Swift has been doing for 15 years, folklore and evermore were hiccups in the timeline—existing as the most fully-formed renderings of Swift’s own insecurities and concerns. They mirrored our platitudes towards an uncertain future with sweet, stirring remarks about isolation and heartbreak and the unavoidable, hard-worn truth about getting older. On those records, her larger-than-life living seemed, for once, to truly feel as close to the ground as ours.

Now, though, Taylor Swift is at the top of the mountain. Far better artists have made far worse records than The Tortured Poets Department, but you can’t read between the lines of this project. There is nothing to decipher from a place of quality.

Sure, Swift’s fan base will pour over these lyrics for the rest of their lives—insisting they know, for certain, which song is about who. But you cannot place a bad album on the shoulders of lore and expect it to be rectified.

We are now left at a crossroads. Women can’t critique Swift because they’ll run the risk of being labeled a “gender traitor” for doing so. Men can’t critique her because they’ll be touted as “sexist.”

And, sure, Swift is probably too easy a punching bag in this case—and most of the time, I would argue she is undeserving of being a victim of such barbs. But, you cannot write about someone being a “tattooed golden retriever” and get away with it and still retain your title as the best songwriter of your generation. You just cannot.

Sisyphus should be glad he never got the boulder to the top of the mountain—because Taylor Swift is showing us that such immortality and success ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. And, when you’re standing on the peak alone, who else is there left to hit?

In a recent interview with The Standard, Courtney Love said that Swift is “not interesting as an artist,” and I think The Tortured Poets Department proves as much. She has nothing to fight for, no doubters left to drown.

So where does she turn? Well, to boredoms of celebrity thinly veiled as sorrow everyone and their mother can latch onto—because we’ve all had to “ditch the clowns, get the crown” at some point in our lives, right?

The billionaire is having an identity crisis, but there are no social media apps for her to buy up. So she sings like Lana Del Rey and writes meta-self-referential songs about looking like Stevie Nicks.

What’s hollow about The Tortured Poets Department is that the real torture is just how unlivable these songs really are. No one can resonate with “So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, crash the party like a record, scratch as I scream ‘Who’s afraid of little old me?’ You should be.” And normally, that wouldn’t be an end-all-be-all for a pop record—but when your brand is built on copious levels of “I’m just like you!” as the demigod saying it to their fans does so from a multi-million-dollar production set, it’s hard to not feel nauseated by the overlording, overbearing sense of heavy-handed detritus we’re tasked with sifting through on The Tortured Poets Department.

Love’s words to Lana, her advice to “take seven years off,” should be applied to Swift. Now, that doesn’t mean that, to make a good album, you must sit on material for years and labor extensively through the sketching, shaping and recording in order for it to be transcendentally landmark. But it’s obvious now that not even Taylor Swift wants to be the head of an empire—that she, too, can’t outrun the damning fate of being plum out of ideas by hopping in her jet and skirting off to God knows where.

See you at the Grammys.

****

#this review is everything #anti taylor swift #taylor swift #travis kelce #3.6 !!! #hope Pitchfork comes for her too #jack antonoff #taylor swift reviews #the department of tortured poets

[victoria-grimesss]

Hi! Can I please request hcs for Halsin and Astarion with plus size gn!reader who is self concious about their size (and are extremely anxious about clothes and food if thats not too much)? Completely understand if no, feel free to ignore 💚 Thanks!

Astarion & Halsin with a PlusSize!Reader (GN)

masterlist

->A/N: This turned out to be more of a Drabble and less of HC’s oops.

————

->Halsin:

Once you two are in an established relationship he would be tuned to your feelings and notice when your mood shifts and sours.

He would notice you paying more attention to your clothing and what you eat, at first he would be alarmed, not taking it lightly that you would restrict your meals. “My flower, our travels take us long and far, please let me know what ails you so I may see you well again.”

When the tears come to your eyes and your hands shake with your heightened nerves he would grow even more alarmed.

You would tell him all of your worries, and how they plague your mind day and night.

He would silence, your worry growing with each second of silence before his gentle reassurance graces your ears.

“You are beautiful to me, from sunrise to sunset I only think of you, your beauty ellipses all else and I’m sorry these thoughts make you think of yourself any other way. I have traveled and seen things far and wide, but you; you are nature's greatest gift to me, to the world. If I could manifest these terrible thoughts from your head and slay them myself I would for you. But know, you are beautiful as you are, I would ask for you no differently.

“I will help you work through these thoughts, no matter how long it takes.”

Your eyes are glossy, his sincerity seeping to your bones, “And what if it takes quite a while to quiet my racing mind?”

“My flower, you forget I am a Druid, I have lived a lifetime already and for you I would live a thousand more just to see you happy.”

->Astarion:

To speak plainly, Astarion is vain. He cannot see himself but he knows he is an attractive man that much is clear.

He would find you no different than anyone else, besides the fact that he loves you more than anyone else at this camp. And it turn, you would get to hear all of his daily complaints about the other companions.

He would come to you to complain when he would stop and notice you’re not listening at all. “Darling, you know it is rude to ignore someone when they’re talking to you.” He would be teasing but the words would flow over you like the wind.

The mirror by his tent had your attention, you glare at your reflection, your thoughts racing with the shadows of doubt.

“My sweet?” His hand touches your shoulder and it brakes the trance.

“Do you like how I look? Am I what you want?”

His heart would break at your voice, “Is that why you’re eating less? And here I thought the parasite was messing with you.” He means to lighten the mood but when you show no change he clears his throat.

“Of course I like how you look, I love it. Gods to be honest your the first person that I love everything about. It’s odd to love someone so strongly, I resisted it for a while, scared I’d lose you but I couldn't be without you or see you with another.

“You could have anyone”

“I could, but I only want you, as you want me. I will love you until I turn to dust and even then in the next life I believe I will love you. No matter how you look.”

He can be awfully sweet and poetic when he wants, almost makes your teeth hurt sometimes.

#bg3 x reader #bg3 headcanons #bg3 fic #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 astarion #bg3 halsin #halsin x you #halsin x gender neutral reader #astarion x gn!tav #astarion x gn reader #astarion x reader #halsin x reader #Halsin x plus-size!reader #astarion x plus sized tav #bg3 #halsin x plus size!reader #halsin x gn!tav #astarion x gender neutral reader #bg3 tav

[zyonsay]

Js came back from a mental health break to see ZYON REQS OPEN !!! How about a Loscar x male reader smut? I don't know if you write for Logan Sargeant since you don't have him in your list so— 😭 if not you can change the driver to Lando I don't mind, but the three of them are drunk and playing drunk truth or dare and things take a turn - 🔥

I dare you LN4&OP81

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: A game of truth or dare between you, Lando and Oscar takes a turn...

Reader: Male

Warnings: Suggestive, NSFW, Dude-bro language, Horsegirl-ified reader because i said so

Now playing: 'Runway Walk' by Demrick

AN: Hey there! i FINALLY finished this and icl, not my best work. BUT i hope y'all can still enjoy this!

Loud chants echoed through the dimly lit bar. Your team members had picked you up and were now parading you around. The bar only had limited access to your equipe of elite show riders, a few close associates along with other familiar faces. Apparently, it was your lucky day, because your best friend finally had time to celebrate one of your many wins with you. Lando and yourself had been friends since diaper times and stuck together ever since. Even though you both were inseparable, your careers were demanding and didn’t offer you much time to hang out. He was now a rising F1 star, and you fought your way into prestigious show arenas, your schedules were now filled with training, media appointments and various other events. But, whenever you did find time to catch up, you always had a good time together. Not so recently he had introduced you to his teammate, and “friend”, Oscar. He’s a sweet guy, his smile felt like a little piece of sunshine and the swoop in his hair reminded you of gentle waves in the ocean. The chemistry between Lando and Oscar was kind of obvious, but you didn’t want to assume anything. That was until Lando had drunkenly admitted to his situationship.

The loud music boomed trough the doors as you stumbled out into the cold night air. Coordinating your wobbly legs while giggling uncontrollably was difficult. Very difficult. Lando had noticed your struggles and wrapped an arm around your waist while dragging you to the nearest bench. Maybe if you were sat, you wouldn’t fall on your face. A soft breeze blew trough the city and a slight shiver ran down your spine. It wasn’t actually cold, just refreshing enough. Lando had also sat down by now and leaned his head back while closing his eyes. Your gaze flickered to him, the street lanterns painted the contours of his face in orange hues. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the poetic mood you’ve found yourself in, but now felt like the right time to tell him how you feel. You’ve always loved him, but you were also scared of telling him, or anyone for that matter. Besides. You two had very busy lives and barely got to see each other, so how would a relationship work out? But now wasn’t the time to worry about that. Not when he was looking so beautiful. How do you say this? How do you confess your feelings without sounding like an absolute idiot. Gathering all your courage, your lips parted, and the first word was ready to leave them. “Y/n. I gotta tell you something.”, his eyes were still closed, and his head was still leant back. A frustrated sigh fell from his figure, and he shifted his seat. Now he was looking at you, God, those beautiful eyes. They were so sincere and looked like a fresh margarita at the beach. “I- “, his gaze avoided your own for a second before his eyes darted up to yours again. “I think I might be into men. Like in a gay way.” That was the most bro-dude way to say that, but it sure suits him. A small smile crept onto your face. “Thanks for trusting me.”, you grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Coming out to anyone is difficult, especially when you can’t predict how they’ll react. This was worth a lot to you.

“…and I sort of have a thing going right now,” Shit. SHIT. What? If it is some random dude, you swore to yourself that- “with Oscar.” Your brain must’ve short circuited right then and there. Your expression must’ve given your shock away, because Lando looked really worried all of a sudden. “…you okay mate?”, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. Quickly, you need to react, otherwise he’ll think you’re a weirdo. “Yeah, totally.”, you gulped, “I just didn’t expect you to start something with your teammate.” Absently, he scratched his arm. “Yeah, i gotta be careful. You know, with PR and stuff.”

Obviously, Oscar is also attending the afterparty. As much as you wanted to dislike him for getting together with your crush, he was so nice that you’d feel like an asshole. As sour as the taste in your mouth was, you were happy for them. They seem to fit together really well, and you couldn’t be mad because your best friend’s relationship is working out, that’s just rude. Nevertheless, the little touches they shared filled you with jealousy. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder. “Just so you know, I have your favorite white with me. In case you wanna celebrate some more later.”, you could basically hear the smug smile in Lando’s voice. Tempting. Maybe you weren’t feeling so sour after all.

Without much care, you left your shoes somewhere in the hallway, while leading Oscar and Lando towards the balcony. Usually when you were travelling around for competitons, you’d rent a hotel room, since there wasn’t really any point in staying longer than you had to. But for the finale of your season, you wanted to enjoy the beautiful city, before departing again. While your Horse was being flown back to your home country, you decided to rent a holiday home. It was relatively close to the coast, so you’d hear the lively waves when opening the windows. Your thoughts were cut short by the sound of shuffling cards. More specifically, a deck of UNO cards. Wait what. Why was he shuffling an UNO deck? Where did he even get that from?

“Nah dude, put that back down.” Lando slurred while lazily swatting Oscars hands away. Disgruntled, but indifferent enough, Oscar put the deck of cards back down. “Wild idea: lets revert back to seventh grade and play truth or dare.”, Lando’s face lit up at that. In his mind, he was already going trough all the evil dares he could make you guys do. “We’re literal adults.”, Oscar deadpanned. For a moment, it looked like Lando was thinking about something. “Well, let’s make things more interesting. Every time you pick truth or won’t do the dare, you take off one clothing piece.” He held up one finger, so it was clear that you wouldn’t be stripping completely naked in seconds. That’s an awfully odd request, but with the taste of wine still lingering on your tongue, you could care less. And so, it begun.

“Y/n, truth or dare?”, his intentions were pretty clear, but you wanted to toy with him for a little. “Dare.”, you took another sip of the fourth or fifth Bottle of white wine, that you three have been passing around like biscuits. “An easy one to start with, do a handstand.” Hah, that was a piece of cake. Scrambling off the rattan lounge, you readied yourself to do a handstand against the wall. A free-standing one might be a bit too confident in your current state. With a swift motion you hurled your legs into the air and banged them against the wall, while you did your best to not flop onto the floor. Considering how dizzy you were, you did a good job. “Impressive!”, Oscar giggled. There was nothing to laugh about, the bastard was up next. “Truth or Dare, Os?”, he was quick to answer. “Dare.” Bingo. As rarely as you and Lando got to catch up, he does talk about Oscar often. This man doesn’t even know hoe much you know about him. “I dare you to whistle.”, his smile faded. He was ninety percent sure you were aware of the elephant in the room. He sighed before pulling his shirt off. “I can’t whistle.”

Admittedly, this was much more fun than you initially thought it’d be. It must’ve already been something past midnight, but you guys were chatting away on the balcony. By now, your and Oscar’s shirts and socks had gone, while Lando was barely left in his briefs. “Truth or Dare?”, Lando intently looked at you. “Dare.” Now you’ve gotten yourself stuck in his trap. “I dare you to kiss me.”, now that made you stop in your tracks. “Dude, I’m not a homewrecker.” Oscar’s hickory eyes had a playful glint in them. “I’ll allow it.”, he leant against the backing of the lounge, readjusting his seat. Your heart pounded loudly in your chest. This is what you wanted for so long, but this feels taboo. Nevertheless, you leant forward and slid a hand behind your friend’s neck. Pulling him closer your lips met his and a contempt sigh left Lando. You felt Oscars eyes on you, they were burning holes into your skull. After all you were kissing his fling right now. The world seemed as if it was melting apart into a big mess of colors, but that all stopped when Lando gently pulled away. With slightly shaky hands, you settled back into a comfortable sitting position. “Oscar.”, he hummed, “Truth or dare?” He exaggeratedly tapped his finger against his chin. “Truth.” He now looked directly into your eyes. “Why didn’t you have a problem with me kissing Lando.”, his eyes widened at your question. For a moment he seemed to think for a good answer, but instead of speaking up, he glanced over at Lando. The brit loudly gulped, it sounded almost comical, before speaking up. “So, the thing is…” His, whatever Oscar was to him, tapped him on the knee, encouraging Lando to speak up. “I like you. Like in a gay way.” Dumbfounded, you shifted your gaze from Oscar to Lando and then back again at the pale Aussie. “And you’re ok with that?!”, you pointed your finger towards Oscar. “You see, we actually wanted you to... join our relationship.” His tone was unsure, and he kept searching Lando’s gaze.

Now you were officially flabbergasted. This must be a fever dream, right? There was no way this was real right now.

Obviously, it was, because now you were sat here with Lando kissing down your neck and Oscar pressed up behind you, squeezing your thighs, hips and waist. You leant your head backwards against Oscar’s shoulder, whining quietly. You whispered sharply, “I dare you to take those damn pants off.”, while fiddling with the buckle of his belt. Oscar chuckled lightly before slipping his pants off and propping himself up behind you again. Carefully, you reached behind you and felt his hard member in your hand. With gentle motions, you began palming him as best as possible. Lando smiled against your neck, his eyes darting up to meet Oscar’s gaze. His tanned hand tugged on your underwear before swiftly slipping underneath it. You gasped at the tight feeling of his hand around your dick. Slowly but surely, he started pumping up and down, meanwhile he continued his artwork of hickeys along your neck and chest bone. Not wanting to neglect his hard cock, you wrapped your hand around it and pressed your thumb over the tip. He exhaled sharply. Oscar leaned in close to your ear. “You wanna suck them?” Stuck in an endless loop of pleasure and torture, you could only whine as a pathetic attempt at an answer.

#f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 x male reader #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #x male reader #x reader #male x male #male reader insert #male reader #male!reader #oscar piasstri #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #landoscar #mctwinks #twinklaren #landoscar x reader #landoscar smut

[loveemagicpeace]

🧜🏼‍♀️Poetic Neptune🩵

Part 2

🦋Neptune in 8th house- Neptune Giving your all in a close relationship can bring the spiritual or emotional connection you seek with a partner. But it can also mean making sacrifices or feeling vulnerable. Here you can seek your escape in intimacy or in control. You can have a wild fantasy about the perfect deep relationship, but it never really happens. A Neptune in the eighth house in the natal chart can indicate trust issues. Generally speaking, heavy placements in the eighth house indicate traumatizing experiences, betrayal, loss of trust you put in others. This can be a very painful placement. This house shows financial gain through other people: for example, your spouse or inheritance

🎸Neptune in 9th house-Neptunes here have a lot of imagination in terms of travel, the world and life. You can have your own religion that you believe in, or you can believe in things that others don't. Along with this is also a hopeless optimism that often carries the person through the darkest nights with the light of faith, optimism, and belief. You can travel a lot to places by the sea. And it's also one of your favorite holidays. The gifts of Neptune here could be found through their ability to intuit the future; they can be something of a prophet and have the ability to read meaning in the lives of others. Neptune here suggests a gift for spiritual vision or for intuiting future trends. Travel might invoke a longing for a paradise island.

🥂Neptune in 10th house-you can manifest your career. A lot depends on what you believe in and what you want to be. People may see you as a mystical, dreamy person, or they may not be able to clearly define you. You have an intuitive understanding of how the public feels. You are in tune with the collective mood, what can be an advantage when it comes to career. Here neptune can also mean that one of the parents is not present. A career in the arts might appeal or something that allows you to use and develop your imagination and put your imaginative gifts or show to the world.

🧁Neptune in 11th house- you can manifest success on your social networks. Many of your dreams can come true. Neptune gives you the illusion that you start things without fear and usually people find you as a spiritual person or you share something related to spirituality or art on social networks. You are very kind and want to help people with what you do. You want people to feel comfortable when they come to your profile. But you can attract a lot of friends who are secretly jealous of you or don't like you (but it doesn't show from the outside). When you feel that others don’t like you, it bothers you deeply. Neptune shows where you seek the ideal and perfection. That's why you often look at things as perfect, and that's why you're often not completely satisfied.

🩷Neptune in 12th house-Neptune is here in his house, which means that he can unknowingly help you find your spiritual path. They may excel in artistic fields like writing, poetry, painting, music, photography, filmmaking, or any form of creative expression. These people are very creative and imaginative, but this shows more in their work and not in their personality. When you get to know them, I wouldn't say that they are so artistic, but they show it through the things that, for example, musicians deal with (many times I notice that they have a special album look, which they usually invent themselves). They also have a lot of drawing skills. But these people are usually not spiritual or believe in it. But there is a possibility that they become addicted to drugs or other substances. And many times they have very interesting, confusing dreams that are difficult to understand.

-Rebekah🦋🫧🩵

#astrology #energy #zodiac signs #my notes #astrological houses #planets #neptune in houses

[touchlikethesun]

okay okay okay, but we need to talk about the name etymologies of the four central characters of haikyuu!! because it is literally impossible to talk about it too much. first let's break down all the kanji in their family names!

(sidenote: all of the translations were pulled from wikitionary, so if any of the meanings are actually egregiously incorrect, pls lmk!!)

影　kage - shadow 山　yama - mountain 口　guchi - mouth 月　tsuki - moon 島 shima - island 日　hi - sun 向　nata - direction

adding a readmore because this got so much longer than i intended it to be

so some of these are talked more about in the fandom than others. i think it's practically common knowledge (if it isn't, well now you know) that the first kanji of hinata's name (日) means "sun" and the first kanji of tsukki's name (月) means "moon," and that this was done on purpose to highlight their roles in the story as foils and as a sun and moon analogy. tsukki and hinata are quite literally polar opposites in their approach to volleyball (they are, one might say, like night and day). tsukishima with his physical advantage yet reluctance to try too hard compared with hinata's overwhelming physical disadvantage and his willingness to go above and beyond, to the point that he can't even fathom how not to give 110% at all times. (there's so much more to say about this symbolism but i'll leave it there, gotta stay focused rip).

the first kanji in kageyama's name (影) meaning "shadow" i feel like most people are aware of as well, this symbolises his general mood (sorta a comparison with tsukishima too imo, darkness and the moon etc., but that's quite subtle), and again this furthers his parallel with hinata, juxtaposing light and darkness, but the kanji for yama (山) which we find in both kageyama and yamaguchi's name, means mountain, which represents both reliability and strength. this works for both kageyama and yamaguchi in different ways. from day one at karasuno, all of the team members can count on kageyama to perform, be it setting, serving, receiving, he is all around the uncontested best player on the team, and serves as the base for nearly all of their strategies. yamaguchi doesn't have the same dependability in terms of athletic performance (at the start of the series), but in a lot of ways he is a grounding force in among the first years, and in his relationship with tsukki he is very much a needed support, tsukishima depends on yamaguchi for... god for so much actually.

and then there's the second kanji in tsukishima's name (島)... meaning "island," it is very clearly meant to represent the isolation tsukki both feels and imposes on himself at the start of the series. i also think it's of note that an island is opposed to a mountain - both are large(-ish) landmasses but the mountain is connected to the rest of the land while an island is all alone...

the individual kanji all have a lot of symbolism going on but when you put some of them together, i think you get a new significance...

日向　hinata - the direction sun in shining 影山　kageyama - the dark side of the mountain 山口　yamaguchi - the mountain’s opening (or mouth maybe cave?) 月島　tsukishima - moon island

to get them out of the way, the compound meanings of tsukishima and yamaguchi don't seem very narratively significant, but i am more than open to analyses you might have that i didn't think of! :)

however hinata and kageyama seem poetic to me in a way that i don't think is accidental. i did take some liberties with the phrasing (kageyama could also be written as "the mountain's shadow"), but it doesn't change the overwhelming symbolism. the dark side of the mountain is obviously juxtaposed with the light side, but how do you create a shadow? well the sun has to shine on something... the direction of hinata's sun shining on the kageyama's mountain making the shadow... i admit i might be reaching with this one. but i like it.

initially, i had only planned to look into their family names, but after finding so much symbolism, i though why not look into their given names and boy oh boy am i glad that i did~

飛　tobi - flight, fast, high 雄　o - something large powerful and masculine (yang) 翔　sho - soar 陽　yo - alt. the sun, positive, (yang!!!!) 蛍　kei - derived from firefly 忠　tadashi - loyal, devoted, faithful

where do i even begin i legit have tears in my eyes okay, first things first, kei has always been my favourite name in all of haikyuu, i just like how it sounds, i think it's so pretty, and in looking up the meaning of the kanji i've grown to love it even more. as a masculine name, 蛍 is pretty rare, it's more commonly used for female names and the most common reading isn't kei it's hotaru. i like that tsukishima has a relatively unique first name, but what really gets me is the etymology. the kanji 蛍 is the same kanji for firefly, and when the kei pronunciation is used, it means fluorescent. i absolutely love this for tsukishima, because we are being given two different messages with his family name and his given name. on the one hand, his family name would have us believe that tsukki is like the moon, only able to be seen at night and only capable of reflecting the lights of others, but his given name tells us that, while it might be a soft glow, tsukki does have a light of his own, he is in fact able to shine by himself.

compared to 蛍, 忠 is a much more common given name, meaning loyal or devoted. i think sometimes people misunderstand the dynamics between tsukishima and yamaguchi, so please don't take this as me saying something i'm not, but tadashi really is loyal to kei in a very special way, and this is clearly something that furudate wanted to highlight, as this is not the only time he's made reference or used symbolism for tadashi's loyalty to kei. i do think that this devotion extends past tsukki too, and tadashi's loyalty is another part of what makes him such an important part of karasuno (and eventual team captain).

now. for the big ones. i really hope people are still reading because i saved the best for last just because i know i'll collapse into a puddle of tears once i finish typing this section out

if you look at tobio and shouyou's names individually, they do fit them very well; 飛 (tobi) being the kanji for flight ties kags to the sport of volleyball, and the alt meaning of height i think references how high he is going to aim for and eventually reach, and 雄 (o) symbolising something powerful and masculine i think does fit kags' vibe. likewise, 翔 (sho) forshadows hinata's jumping abilities and his bird-like nature, and 陽 (yo), a kanji that has sooo many potential meanings, among which are sun and positivity, further underscores hinata's sun symbolism and his optimistic outlook. astute readers might have already noticed, the first kanji of tobio's name (飛) and the first kanji of shouyou's name (翔) have very similar meanings, one might even go as far to say that they are synonyms. both kags and hinata learn to fly at karasuno together, and they both aspire to the same upwards trajectory, literally in the game for hinata, and figuratively in their careers as pro volleyball players, and this similarity is underscored by the similarity in the meanings of the first kanji of their given name. but the kicker, the last kanji of their given names, 雄 (o) and 陽 (yo) not only sound similar, but they both are kanji that can be used to write yang as is yang, the opposite of yin! shouyou and tobio's names are literally synonyms of one another!! for all the differences apparent in their family names, their given names are literally the same name just a different font and i absolutely love it so much, because we spend so much time talking about how different hinata and kageyama are but part of the reason that they click and clash the way that they do is that they are so similar to one another in ways that they aren't like anyone else, it's what makes their rivalry and their partnership as strong as they are and it's so so so important to remember that these boys are always on the same wavelength!! clearly we're meant to think like this, since furudate chose these as their names...

one last little note, it might be hard to tell if (like me) you aren't used to reading caligraphy, but the same kanji in tobio's name is the kanji on karasuno's banner: 飛

so just in case there was any doubt as to where tobio belongs. his name is literally on karasuno's banner i can't i can't i can't

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #crying uncontrollably at all the symbolism i love this series so fucking much #haikyuu #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #kagehina #tsukkiyama

[little-emerald-snake]

Ominis x f!mc where mc is giving body worship and praise to a very flustered and touch starved Ominis Mayhaps

Touch Starved - Ominis Gaunt X F!MC

Holy smokes I’m sorry this took me AGES to write. I wanted to do this justice and I’m really hoping I did. 💕

🔥 NSFW 🔞 MDNI

Warnings: sort of sub Ominis, seduction, body worship, praise, more poetic and less raunchy than my usual, unprotected p-in-v

1.8k words

He’d been quiet the whole week, she’d seen it in the way he’d struggled to focus on books and assignments. Or the way he’d space out in the classes they shared. He’d occasionally fallen asleep but she’d never known the wizard to slack off in class.

After their grueling hour of History of Magic where Ominis had spent the entirety of class awake but off in a daze, unable to answer the questions he was called upon twice to answer, she pulled him aside to find out what was wrong.

He toyed with his wand between his fingers as he anxiously tried to explain what was going on with him. “I’m not sure honestly. I just can't seem to focus. I haven’t been sleeping that great and when I do I get very strange…dreams.”

She laid a gentle hand on his arm which caused him to startle. He quickly shook his head and let his shoulder fall, face reddening rather quickly. “Sorry. It’s really not you, I just…I’m not sure, really.”

Her brows furrowed when her eyes made another sweep over the entirety of him. As if he could feel her assessing gaze he spun suddenly on his heel, pulling his wand up and stepping a few feet away to the large pillar of the undercroft. “I promise I'll come out of it. I just need…to get things figured out.”

She didn’t like the struggle laced in her friend's voice, it seemed like he was closing himself off to her. She made her way up to him, laying a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him but he jumped again, recoiling from her touch with a small whimper.

She spun him, grasping his shoulder firmly as she did till he faced her, face flushed, hands balled into fists. His breathing had sped up and she looked him head to toe, finally seeing his ‘issue’. “Merlin, Ominis. Is that what’s wrong? You’re all worked up and ignoring your body's needs?”

He scowls, not moving from her grip but standing rigidly in front of her. “I don’t have the time for silly things like that. It’s not necessary.”

She grins wickedly, making a snap decision and pushing him against the pillar behind him. “Is that so? Well I find myself having plenty of time for self gratification. It definitely helps my mood and I don’t get ‘dreams’. Maybe it would be good for you to give in, Ominis.”

He winced when her hand brushed against the waistband of his trousers, quickly followed by a gasp when her finger dipped between his stomach and the fabric. “W-what are you playing at? W-we shouldn’t be talking like this.”

She grinned again, running a hand up his chest which had a sharp intake of breath echoing in the room. “I simply think you shouldn’t ignore your body's desires, Ominis. It’s a friendly recommendation. I can tell by your reactions how desperately you’re craving my touch. When’s the last time you’ve been held, Ominis?”

He wriggled away from her invading finger in his waistband but she grabbed his tie and pulled him back, pressing her breasts harshly against his chest while tugging at his trousers. “Or has no one held you close while they praised you and made you feel good?”

His blush spread from the base of his neck all the way to the tips of his ears. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, closing his eyes tightly. He was so incredibly hard it hurt. But he didn't fight as she led him to the plush sofa in the corner.

She gently pushed him down onto it, letting her hands gently land on his chest as she kneeled on the couch between his legs. “For so long I’ve wanted to feel you…you’re always hiding in those robes.”

She licked her lips as her hand came to tug off the ties of his robe, letting it fall behind him uselessly. “The slope of your shoulders.” Her hand brushed over his right shoulder. “Your sides that I know are ticklish from Sebastian’s tales.” Her hand slid over the curve of his side and he softly whined, pushing his legs around her knee tightly. “And you’re slender hips…”

She slid her palm over his hip, feeling the way his hips raised ever so slightly from the sofa. “Does it feel good? Being touched like this? Being admired and doted on.”

His response was only a small whine which made her smirk. Boldness had her finger trailing down his thigh, over his knee and ever so carefully up the inside of his thigh. Ominis’ hips lifted again in eager anticipation. “You’re so beautiful like this. Flushed and needy for touch.”

He swallowed harshly as he felt her raise her wand, tapping his shoulder which left him bare from the waist up. He whined, desperately attempting to cover his slender yet muscled chest.

She held his hands out of the way so her eyes could eat up the cool expanse of creamy white skin. Heat flared in those eyes as she connected the trail of beauty marks from his stomach all the way over his chest, up his neck and to the ones she could see on his cheeks every day. “Let me see you. You hold such a beautiful constellation of stars.”

He swallowed, finally letting his hands shakily drop to his sides. “W-what are you talking about?”

She smiled, letting her fingertip rest at the first mole above his belt line. “A constellation. Like the ones we study in astronomy. It’s a trail of stars that make up a pattern in the sky. You have the cutest moles that make a constellation on your skin.” Her finger began to glide over the trail, stopping briefly at each one so he could feel exactly where they were. “One of the prettiest I’ve ever seen.”

The gasp that left him was the prettiest sound she’d ever heard. Her hand trailed the path again, setting his nerves ablaze. She could feel how impossibly hard he was in his trousers. “You like being told you’re beautiful don’t you? Does being loved like this excite you?”

He groaned, rutting up against her leg. “Y-yes. Okay? Are you satisfied now? You’ve turned me to a needy mess. You proved your point. I’m hard as fuck and wired up at your teasing touch and poetic words. Just…have mercy.”

She hummed, leaning down to lick a thick stripe up the side of his flushed neck. His back arched up as a fiery shot of arousal coursed through him. He moaned when the still air became well acquainted with his legs due to a simple touch of her wand.

He had been ready to speak up but he’d lost the wind in his sails as she pushed her hand between them, grasping his proud erection and beginning a slow stroke over the entirety of his shaft.

She tilted her head up enough to whisper against the shell of his ear. “You asked for mercy. But I think I’d much rather show you heaven.”

With that her own clothes were gone and she moved to straddle him. His hands came to grip her hips but she quickly pulled his wrists together, holding them above his head under one hand.

He didn’t fight but the flustered look still controlled his features. His mouth hung open, milky eyes even hazier than usual, the heat of a blush dominated his porcelain skin.

A gasp left him when their bodies joined in what Ominis could only imagine people felt when giving the simple definition of ‘white hot heat’. His hips flexed, glutes tight as his body urged him to buck into that blissful embrace the space between her legs offered.

He moaned brokenly as delicate finger tips traced over what she’d described as constellations. Her finger followed the same paths as it had before which meant she wasn’t doing it for show. She really did see something special that attracted her across his body.

It brought a shaky breath from him which had her sighing and rolling her hips atop him. A flash of something crossed over him and for only a moment he’d swore she’d fucked the sight back into him.

But nothing compared to the visions his mind conjured when a roll of her hips elicited a silky moan from her, causing her hands to release his arms and firmly plant on his chest for stability.

Those hands burned like fire on his skin. He was so worked up from her treatment that it made a pool of arousal begin to form at the base of his spine.

When those fingers started moving again he whined. Not louder than the praises she uttered.

“Your skin is delicate, like a flower petal. Seeing you blush is…otherworldly.”

“You feel so good inside me. Not just there…in my chest. I didn’t know it would feel like this with you.”

“You’re so beautiful falling apart under me…I-i won’t last long.”

Her music had him grinding his heels against the cushions below them, hands finally free to do as he wished he cupped one breast in one hand and held her supple hip with the other.

She moaned, causing his fingers to tighten on her hip. His other hand explored her chest, massaging her breast, rolling the peak between his fingers and eliciting more symphonies from betwixt her lips.

He was overwhelmed, but nothing compared to when he felt her weaken, body language changing as her moans peaked and the rolls of her hips turned to stuttering. He took the opportunity to rut up into her and make her sing as she turned to liquid heat around his cock and cried out spectacularly for him.

He stilled when she went limp in his arms. Crashing against his chest with a boneless demeanor. She gasped and panted, catching her breath slowly. But he had to shut his eyes tightly when she urged him to keep going beneath her.

Grunts left him as he worked his hips much slower this time. Feeling every single ridge inside of her slide against him with a maddening sensation.

Oblivion was far closer then he desired, his stomach tightened, leg muscles flexing in an attempt to stave off the inevitability of his release.

She must have sensed his inner turmoil, small hands dragging over the sensitive spots again while both of his dug so deeply into her hip bones there was sure to be bruising.

She coaxed him through it, praising him for how incredible he felt and how badly she wanted to see him meet his end while buried to the hilt inside of her. The gentle swipes of her hands over his heated skin and the soft coos of approval dragged him over.

He arched, mouth falling open as a string of moans, whimpers, curses and bliss echoed through the charged air around them.

Both spent and satisfied, she remained laid against his chest with him slowly softening inside of her as she traced those lines across his skin. This, was his bliss.

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy smut #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt fanfiction #ominis gaunt smut #requests #little emerald snake

[libraincarnate]

astrology notes: 3 ᓚᘏᗢ

༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences. above all this is just for fun.

lastly, these may or may not apply to you but you might find something to be true about your friends, family, or lover. enjoy!

༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝

❤︎ creating aesthetically pleasing things comes easy for libras. they can create a “look” with ease/without really trying. sometimes they do it without even realizing it at first. ex: outfits, mood boards, makeup looks, home/room decor, their blog, etc. they might be known for copying people at times but know for certain people copy them and are inspired by them too.

❤︎ any mercury dominants or people with mercury as your chart ruler notice they sometimes rhyme while casually speaking and they do it with out trying like it just happens naturally? or maybe you find yourself speaking poetically without trying? there’s just something cool or pretty you do when speaking.

❤︎ scorpio/aries in the 3rd house: how many times do you honk the horn when driving? cursing at other drivers? lol the road rage can be bad & you might wish you had the right to stop another driver & give them a ticket for their poor/slow driving. wanting them to pay for it in some way. you may also feel the same way towards people who walk slow. for example, you’re in school trying to get to class but the people in front of you are walking slow or just in the way.

❤︎ if your chart ruler isn’t one of your dominant planets/signs it might feel like one and it may even feel more dominant than your actual dominant planets/signs. for example, you might be venus, jupiter, and moon dominant, but then your chart ruler is in pluto. you might feel the effects of pluto more than your dominant planets. the planet and themes associated with your chart ruler (pluto in this example) may have a greater focus in your life and a greater effect on you. so check your chart ruler if you feel like you might not relate to some of your dominant planets/signs as much.

❤︎ i’m sorry but aquarius stelliums/prominent aquarius (especially if it includes aquarius mercury), stay on the phone. you guys can talkkkkkkkk. lmfao how many people do you speak to on the phone per day? your phone is always ringing. you might repeat yourself or rant a lot.

❤︎ you may have the tendency of looking at or focusing on the body part associated with your chart ruler or dominant planets. below are some examples:

mercury (gemini)/hands: always looking at your hands, maintaining the appearance of your hands (keeping them clean, manicures, jewelry like rings/bracelets, etc.), having or wanting to have nice handwriting.

saturn (capricorn)/teeth: always looking at your teeth, brushing them often, carrying floss with you for when you dine out, wanting them extra clean and white, deciding to get braces or dental work if needed or to make them look better/correct something minor.

neptune (pisces)/feet: always looking at your feet, maintaining the appearance of your feet (keeping them clean, pedicures, jewelry like anklets/toe rings, etc.), having a collection of pretty shoes or shoes that are made of good quality, having a nice walk, perhaps a good catwalk (runway).

mercury (virgo)/stomach area: always looking at your stomach, wanting a small waist/flat stomach/abs, focusing on this area when exercising, waist training, focusing on digestive health.

sun (leo)/back & hair: always looking at your back/hair, might have a big back or a sexy one, looking good in backless dresses, always touching your hair, styling your hair often. voluminous, thick hair. if your hair doesn’t look good you feel ugly or like you’re not looking your best.

mars (aries)/head & face: always looking at your head/face, might focus on the eye area the most when doing your makeup or get complimented your eyes a lot, you might not like your head shape and try to hide it with hats and stuff or you feel like you have a nice head shape/face that suits any hairstyle.

if your chart ruler or dominant planets are in retrograde or heavily afflicted it can make you feel insecure about those body parts and you may have issues with them. like with neptune/pisces you can have foot pain or ingrown toenails and your shoes might rip or get ruined often.

❤︎ venus 6th: you really worry about the health of your loved ones. if it’s cold out you’re quick to tell them to put warm clothes on, reminding them to grab their gloves and scarf. if they’re sick, it makes you unhappy. you wish you could heal them. you’ll do what you can to help them feel better. looking up remedies, making tea, soup, praying for them, giving them recommendations (try this, try that). trying to think of what could have made them sick. you could be overbearing in this area although you mean well. if your loved ones ignore your advice and efforts to help it can make you a bit annoyed and feel rejected.

❤︎ 1° moon/mars or aries moon/mars: wanting to throw things or hit something/someone when really upset.

❤︎ having a heavily afflicted mars, mars in retrograde, detriment, or fall: finding it hard to get things done. can be passive, lazy, a procrastinator. there’s always an obstacle. relying on others/lack of independence. always asking someone for help or to do something for you. you may feel incompetent. a lack of motivation.

the house it’s in can show what kind of people or things you depend on and where you feel like you’re lacking power/control.

in the 1st- your confidence, yourself in general

in the 7th- your lover/love life, business partners, enemies

in the 2nd- your finances, self-worth, possession/materialistic items, food (don’t kill me)

in the 4th- your family, mom/motherhood

in the 11th- your friends, community

in the 6th- your coworkers, pet, routine

in the 12th- escapism (drugs/liquor, day dreaming), your spirituality (your god, hope, fate, tools like crystals)

for example, cancer mars. mars is about destruction, cancer is about nurturing. mars is in fall in cancer. mars can be impulsive, cancer is intuitive. they clash and weaken some of the strengths of both cancer and mars. it can be difficult for this person to be independent, especially with cancer already being a clingy/emotionally attached sign. can give up on themselves easily, it’s easier for you to do things for others instead of yourself. in the 7th house your partner may be someone you depend on a lot or who is always helping you/doing something for you. can feel like you don't know what you'd do without them because of this. if you have enemies or conflict with someone it can be difficult to stand up for yourself or fight back.

❤︎ pisces: they have a vivid imagination. frequent dreamers. can rely on escapism, but may also do drugs/drink for fun and not because they're addicted. day dreams for fun too, reality is boring. considering all this, they might wonder if something really happened or if it was just a dream. experiencing deja vu. could also have existential crises often. being a source of inspiration to others, a muse. but also finding inspiration with ease, even in the little things. put this in the 9th house and they might be extra intuitive and frequently see signs like repeating numbers, words, symbols, and prophetic/spiritual dreams, which all leads to them searching for the meaning of those things.

❤︎ taurus mars: might like to dance as a form of exercise.

༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝ ༝

if you read this until the end I hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you. 

#astrology #astrology notes #astro notes #astrology observations #astro observations #libraincarnate

[sukimii]

Friend/Boyfriend/Husband! Bakugou HC

Tags: fluff, domesticity, descriptions of sexual intercourse, breeding kink.

Friend!Bakugou will help you with paperwork. He will point out mistakes you're doing, and praise you where you've done a good job.

Friend!Bakugou will complain when you slack off, saying that you can't get stronger if you're not training hard enough.

Friend!Bakugou will drag your ass in the agency's private gym and fight with you until you're sweaty, tired, and can barely stand on your feet.

Friend!Bakugou will listen to whatever is bothering you, and his solution to your problems is to use him as a punching bag. He will let you take out any frustration, or anger you have on him. At first, you're reluctant, he wasn't the source of your problem, and taking it out on him seems unfair. But Bakugou can be persuasive in his own way, pushing the right buttons he knows will make you implode.

Friend!Bakugou cares about your health. He will ask you at least once every three days if you've eaten, if yes, good, you're off the hook, if not, will force-feed you whatever he concocted, because he "can't have you faint like an idiot in the middle of a fight"

Friend!Bakugou is wary of the guys that approach you, he can tell right on the spot if someone has bad intentions. He can see through any façade people put on, and he's not one to shy away from speaking his mind whenever something/someone pisses him off.

Friend!Bakugou will clumsily confess his attraction to you, saying how annoying you are because you keep popping up in his mind at the most inopportune moments.

Boyfriend!Bakugou has little to no experience when it comes to expressing his feelings, or emotions. He wants to tell you, to tell the entire world just how smart and pretty you are, but always chickens out.

Boyfriend!Bakugou who, despite having conversational difficulties, will choose to show his appreciation through actions most of the time. Yet, when worn out from work, too tired to pay any attention to anything, will voice out his thoughts. Those are the rare moments in which he showers you in compliments, but would rather try to extract petrol with his bare hands than acknowledge that such thing happened.

Boyfriend!Bakugou will pay extra attention to your mood swings, over time learning what each and every expression and tic means. If he sees you pouting to nothing in particular, he already knows that something has saddened you. If he sees you constantly touching your neck/shoulder, he knows you had slept in an uncomfortable position.

Boyfriend!Bakugou will lend you his sweaters if you're cold and will feign forgetfulness or aloofness so you can keep them for yourself.

Boyfriend!Bakugou will ask you to take it easy on the training, saying that exhausting yourself isn't gonna lead to any improvements. When you tell him that it's not what he had told you before the start of the relationship, he will pretend to not hear you.

Boyfriend!Bakugou will scowl away any man that tries to get too comfortable with you. Will keep both arms protectively around your waist, back-hugging you, while his chin rests on your shoulder as you keep chatting with them. His eyes are narrowed, telepathically telling the guy to 'back the fuck off'

Boyfriend!Bakugou who will take a run to the nearest pharmacy to buy you medicine. When sick, Bakugou will send you poetic vocals as reminders, just in case you forget. "Take your goddamn pills before I come over and shove 'em down your throat"

Boyfriend!Bakugou will spend an entire night being your therapist after a failed mission, paying extra attention to your body language. And if the problem is way deeper than he can handle, will not hesitate to drag your ass to a proper therapist.

Boyfriend!Bakugou will plant himself into your missions whenever he feels something is a bigger threat. The villain you have to take down is an S Class? He'll be involved, whether asked or not. He wants you safe, he needs to see with his eyes that you are safe.

Boyfriend!Bakugou will outright tell you to just wear his clothes, because he likes how they fit on you. He likes to see you flaunting around wearing his stuff, showing off who's the man that is making you happy. Bonus point if it keeps other men away from you.

Boyfriend!Bakugou is insecure about holding your hand because he sweats. A lot. The first time he holds your hand, he had to wipe them down several times, scared that it will gross you out.

Boyfriend!Bakugou is intimidated by the idea of a kiss. You're his first, and screwing up will only plum down his already insecure self. He's relieved when you tell him that you too are a little nervous, it had been so long since your last relationship you worried about being out of practice and potentially disappoint him. When the first kiss is done, Bakugou will ask for more. It quickly become his favorite thing to do with you, second only to cuddling.

Boyfriend!Bakugou slowly grows bold with his actions. The first time he let his hands slide down your back, placing them on your ass, his heart jumps in his throat, looking at you to see if you were in any discomfort. To his surprise, you arch against him, lacing your arms around his neck.

Boyfriend!Bakugou will explore your body like a pirate does on an island in search of treasure. He quickly grows to love every part of your body, and if there are any insecurities he will make sure to wipe them away. Thighs too big/thin? He will pamper them with kisses, force his head between them, and gropes as if they are his lifesaver. Big/Small tits? He will play with them, his attention will be on the mounds until he's sure you know he loves 'em.

Boyfriend!Bakugou will always put your pleasure first. Even if he doesn't know how to make you cum, he will try anything until you do. He cockblocks himself until he's sure you've at least cum twice.

Boyfriend!Bakugou will keep learning your body. He wants to be number one in anything, and that includes the arts of pleasuring you.

Boyfriend!Bakugou doesn't have a rhythm or kinks yet. Growing up focusing solely on becoming a hero, he never gave himself the time to tap into his turn-ons and offs. So, he learns them with you. He learns that having his hand pressed around your neck makes him hard. He learns that having his nipples sucked makes his mind foggy and his body tremble with pleasure. He learns that having your spongy walls clamp around his girth spurs him on, going harder and faster on you. He learns that hearing your broken 'I love yous' when you cum on his cock, makes him lose the little clarity he was left with. He learns that those three words have the power to make him euphorically come undone within seconds.

Boyfriend!Bakugou doesn't know what aftercare is. But is willing to learn everything about it, for you.

Boyfriend!Bakugou is happy. He's at peace when with you. And every little thing makes him fall in love deeper and deeper with you. He loves the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He loves your attempts at cooking, even if they end up being uneatable. Bakugou loves when you draw him a bath after a particularily rough day, especially if you join him. He loves when you wrap your hands around him and just look at him with nothing but adoration and love. Bakugou loves coming home to you dancing in his kitchen while trying some new recipe you saw on the internet.

Boyfriend!Bakugou realizes that he wants you to be a constant in his life. He realizes how loved you make him feel, whole, complete, and it dawns on him how much he wants to put a ring it.

Husband!Katsuki knows you like the back of his hand. He knows how to make your favorite drink, favorite dish, and favorite dessert. He knows when you want something but won't buy it afraid of unnecessary spending, so he will gift it to you. He knows when you don't like something, may it be furniture/décor item/dress/etc, and he's quick to get rid of it. He even knows your menstrual cycle, and it's almost scary how accurate he is.

Husband!Katsuki puts your own comfort before his. He doesn't care if his arm gets all tingly and numb when you sleep on it, nor how he knows that a certain position will give him back or neck pain once awake.

Husband!Katsuki developes a breeding kink. He loves seeing his cum seep out that pretty pussy, thrills traveling up and down his body at the idea of his seed sticking deep into you, swelling you up with his kid. And the image of you round and cozy, drives him feral. And with two fingers, he gathers his cum and pushes it back into your warm cunt.

Husband!Katsuki wants children, lots of 'em. With the goal planted deep in his brain and heart, he fucks you everyday, spilling all his worth into your tight hole, painting your insides hot white, and stays plugged to you even after his dick softens, making sure that it sticks.

Husband!Katsuki is on cloud nine when you confirm your pregnancy. He will make sure to be present to most of your doctor appointments, and if he's on duty, he'll send his mom with you, or asks yours to keep you company.

Husband!Katsuki keeps the ultrasound pictures. He has several copies of them, some are kept in his drawer, another set in his wallet, even in his agency he had a couple. And when he's not busy, and manages to get a couple of minutes away from his colleagues, he will fondly look at them while talking with you over the phone.

Husband!Katsuki takes many pictures of you pregnant. He took so many of 'em that he decides to print them out and make an album, well, several of them. Because when his children will grow older, starting their own path, he wants to remember everything, he want to see their growth, your growth with them and him.

Husband!Katsuki deliberately cries when you give birth. And it doesn't matter if it's your second, third or fourth delivery, he will never get used to it.

Husband!Katsuki is a doting father. Even if one of his children comes out quirkless, he will love them equally. They are his and your product of love. He will never miss his children's recitals, or school activities, unless he's too busy with work, but he knows you'll be there with them. Still, when he misses a school event, he feels guilty, and to make it up, will take some days off to spend with them.

Husband!Katsuki is a great father. If his quirkless child is bullied he is quick to solve the problem. He now is a spokesperson for quirkless rights, women's rights included. Having both daughters and sons, he wants to make sure that there is minimum danger toward minorities/oppressed groups. He wants to make society a better place for both you and his little gremlins.

Husband!Katsuki is usually the one that prepares dinner, when he can. And if not, will make sure to prepare breakfast for the next day. On the days he has more time available on his hands, will also prepare the bentos for everybody.

Husband!Katsuki is mesmerized and incredibly proud of how far he's come. He's enamored with the domestic lifestyle and relatively big family you created with him, and he won't trade it for anything, not even for the number one spot.

#bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugou smut #bakugou imagine #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugou #bakugou katuski x reader #mha katsuki #bnha smut #bakugou headcanons #bakugou x y/n #bakugou fluff #boku no hero headcanons

[from-the-clouds]

texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. xi

series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter |

chapter summary: I'm not even gonna be poetic about this: Joel and reader lie to themselves and others about their feelings for 5.6k words. pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 5.6k chapter warnings: ANGST. Description of panic attacks/anxiety. Referenced death of family members/romantic partners. Implied bisexual reader. Alcohol consumption, hangovers. smoking. Canon-typical suffering. As always please dm if you have questions. a/n: Wanted to give game Joel a little love with the gif choice, ya feel me? I've been excited to write this chapter for months and I ultimately feel like it flopped so hard, it just did not come together the way I envisioned. It's also my last week of work for awhile I'm honestly feeling very burnt out so I'm in a 'fuck it, i don't have the energy to make it perfect' mood, BUT - It’s a lot of backstory/development that I do think is necessary. Next chapter shit will go down tho so get ready.

**ALSO! I got rid of my taglist. Please follow @ftcwriting and turn on notifs if you would like to be notified when I update my works :) **

-April 10, 2024-

Joel reaches out to clutch the patio railing. His chest is tight, like someone’s stitched his ribs together so they won’t expand fully every time he tries to inhale. Each breath wheezes in and out of him, and his head spins. 

None of this feels real. It can’t be real. And if he’s asleep, he can’t decide if he’s in a dream or a nightmare.

That’s until he hears his name. 

“Joel!” 

Her voice is like a jolt of electricity, shocking his body back into equilibrium. He finds Ellie standing behind him when he looks over his shoulder, Tommy walking up the pathway to the front door, brow furrowed. 

“We literally only got here like one week ago, you can’t die already,” Ellie scolds him, and he knows that the jab is meant to be playful. “Woah, are you okay?” she asks when they lock eyes. 

Joel straightens, squaring up with Tommy, fully prepared to give him a piece of his mind, for throwing him into the deep end with nothing to stay afloat. 

“Who was that?” Ellie is completely oblivious. 

Even if he wanted to answer the question, he still probably couldn’t. It had taken him a moment to even recognize who you were, that’s how long it’s been. And he hadn’t even really gotten a good look. It only clicked when you’d taken off your glasses, and when it’d registered, and then he’d seen the kid next to you, he’d panicked. Joel brushes past Ellie, shoving his brother with one hand in the center of his chest.

“What the hell were you thinking?” 

Tommy recoils at the contact, something pained and confused crossing his expression. “I…. I thought you’d be happy to see that she’s still alive.” 

Joel doesn’t answer, just glowers at him. He’s still unable to make sense of the questions swirling around in his mind, each one seemingly more important than the last. 

Of course it’s good that you're alive. At one point, he had tried to find you. It was after Sarah, after he’d tried to- he can’t even think about how foolish that had been. At the time, the thought of seeing you again was the only thing that provided him with even the slightest bit of hope for the future. But the search had been fruitless. 

After a while, Joel decided that you were dead. It didn’t matter whether or not you were. He’d seen the unspeakable pain humans were capable of inflicting on each other and then when he’d gotten involved with some hunters, became the cause of all that pain. If you were alive…it meant those horrible things were happening to you. You were better off dead. 

It also kept his conscience clear. After he’d done what he had done, he knew if he ever saw you again, he wouldn’t even be able to look you in the eyes. And he was right. You knew a version of him that no longer existed. 

“Joel,” Ellie interjects. He’d nearly forgotten she was there, still lost in his shock and rage. 

“Ellie, go inside,” he quips. 

“Can’t I just-”

“Inside. Right now. ” Joel hasn’t used such an aggressive snarl with her since they first left for the Boston QZ, and he turns to look at her just in time to see her face crumple, before she turns and marches up the stairs. He immediately feels bad, but unfortunately, this is just how things go with every person he cares about these days. He hurts them, then they hurt him, and it equals out, only ending when one of them decides to leave. 

“Jesus, Joel,” Tommy scolds, but he doesn’t care. 

“How long?” 

“What?”

“How long have you known she’s alive? That she has a fuckin’.....” Joel feels something get caught in his throat. “...a fuckin’ kid.”

“That’s her nephew,” Tommy says matter-of-factly, as if it was supposed to be obvious. As if Joel wasn’t just grappling with the idea that he had a twenty year old son he’d never known about, and feeling guilty that you’d been alone with him this whole time. “But I guess I can see where you’d think that.” 

Now that you’re on Joel’s mind, he does recall you mentioning your nephew a few times. Maybe you even had a picture of him hanging on your fridge, and he had pegged how you had the same smile. He’s a little embarrassed for jumping to conclusions, but it doesn’t mean he’s done being angry. 

“Shit,” Tommy rubs his beard. “They’ve been here for like three years. It’s been awhile.”

“Three years?” Joel asks, a whole new wave of anger reappearing. “And you didn’t think to fuckin’ tell me all this time?”

“You know the rules. We aren’t allowed to use the radio.” 

“What about when I was here in the winter?” Joel asks stiffly. 

“I just…figured it’d be a shock-

“And why would you think that, Tommy?” Joel raises his voice. 

Tommy holds out his hands, lowering them slightly as if to tell Joel to settle down. Then he nods towards the house. Ellie. “You had a lot going on with that whole situation. I didn’t want to distract you.”

Joel would never admit it, but that was probably a smart decision for Tommy to make. He remembers how uncertain and scared he’d been when he first stopped in Jackson. But Joel still tries to think of a way to keep the argument going, because he doesn’t want to give Tommy any sort of props for how he’s chosen to break this news to him.

“I thought you’d be happy she’s alive, really, I mean you both-”

Joel holds up his hand. “Enough, Tommy. It was so long ago…I barely remember.”

Tommy frowns, gives him a knowing look. “Really?” 

Joel sniffs, crosses his arms. 

“Well, I remember,” Tommy says. “And she was always good to you.”

Joel doesn’t answer, because he doesn’t have anything else to say, and at this point, he just wants Tommy to leave.

“Work through whatever you have to,” Tommy says. “But don’t be an asshole. You should work on that, in general. Or else I’ll have to keep explaining your behavior.”

“Glad I’ve got you looking out for me,” Joel says dryly.  “Don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Fine.” Tommy shakes his head, backs away.

His brother doesn’t say goodbye as he stuffs his hands in his coat pocket and walks down the street. Joel stays in place, alone on the front porch, until his hands relax from the fists they are clenched in and his anger turns to shame. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-April 19, 2024-

You close the locket and place it back inside the old lunch pail full of tchotchkes and other memorabilia. It’s a fairly empty box, over the years you’ve found that the things you hold onto are either lost or left behind, not unlike the people you’ve met. You swipe away the tears in your eyes. 

Bea had always said it was important to give yourself the space to grieve, to let yourself feel whatever it was that you needed to. It’s advice that you don’t want to take from her right now because you’re pissed at her for being gone. Not that it had been her fault. And also because you know if you don’t stick to a routine it’s very easy to backslide. 

In the bathroom, you hurry to splash cold water on your face, taking a look at yourself in the mirror. Before the outbreak, there was nothing more terrifying than getting old. Now, as you study the new lines and wrinkles on your face, the scar on your bottom lip, the gray strands in your hair, it doesn’t scare you at all. It seemed frivolous that looks were something you’d been so concerned about when you were younger. But you suppose you didn’t have much else to worry about. There was something pretty freeing about being older, that you can be content without being concerned about whether or not someone will find you attractive. And really, getting old means you’re still alive. That’s all that matters. 

You are concerned with the red in the whites of your eyes, but hope they’ll fade by the time you get to Maria’s. 

Grappling with the fact that Joel is still alive has dredged up a lot. Since it had been about a week since your reunion – if you could even call it that – on your front porch, and you’d seen him one other time. The first time, you’d sort of understood why he’d ran off. But you guessed you kind of expected him to come around eventually. He didn’t. 

Just a few days earlier you’d been walking through the town square, and he’d been headed your direction with that teenage girl who Tommy has since told you is named Ellie. She was giggling at something, and Joel even had a slight smile on his face, but when he saw you, it disappeared, and he pulled Ellie to the opposite side of the street. It was clear now that he was intentionally trying to avoid you, which….didn’t feel great. 

That was an understatement. Having Joel back made you realize just how lonely you were. It had taken some time after arriving in Jackson for you to grieve your partner of nearly ten years, so it hadn’t really dawned on you that at some point you might crave a deeper level of intimacy that your friendships couldn’t offer. But you had already had it twice, so you supposed that was better than nothing at all. Plus, your number one priority had been, and always would be making sure Ethan was provided for. 

So what exactly were you expecting from Joel? Not that, of course. But maybe some kind of closure after all those years spent apart. Some kind of acknowledgement of your time spent together. 

When the outbreak first happened, you had spent a lot of time being angry. With Joel and Sarah, the possibility of being normal had been dangled in front of you. You realized you had wanted to be loved after being convinced by your father – and yourself – that you didn’t deserve it. Then, the second you acknowledged that you wanted it anyways, the world had literally ended. It was a little egocentric, but it sort of felt like a sign that your dad had been right all along. Some women aren’t meant to be part of a family.

Of course, Bea had proved that wrong. But losing the people you loved became a pattern. And you even to this day, you alternated between believing that it was the unfortunate reality of life, or that it was your destiny to never get what you wanted. 

Regardless, even if the way Joel is acting has caused you more turmoil than you are willing to admit, you’re not going to follow him around and beg to get back into his good graces. That’s never been your style. 

You’re tidying up the kitchen, getting ready to leave, when Ethan shuffles into the room. It’s nearly noon. 

“Hey, sleepyhead,” you say to him as drags his socked feet across the hardwood.

He grumbles his greeting and tilts his head at the bag you’re adjusting over your shoulder, as if to ask where you’re headed.

“I’m going to Maria’s,” you say. “Then I have to meet with Eugene.” 

He makes a noise of affirmation, still half-asleep, and slumps into a kitchen chair. When you look at him closely, you see the dark circles beneath his glassy eyes, his face pale. 

“You alright, honey?” you ask, putting your bag back on the countertop and approaching him. “Do you have a fever?” when you reach to press the back of your hand to his cheek he swats it away weakly. He doesn’t feel warm.

“I’m fine,” he says, crossing his arms on the countertop and burying his face in them. “I just have a headache.”

“Yeah?” you say. “You were out late last night.”

“Derek and I went to the Tipsy Bison,” his voice is muffled. 

Everything clicks into place. “Oh. Were you overserved?” 

He turns his head, but doesn’t lift it. With how long his hair has gotten, most of his face is obscured. “Maybe. But before I get a lecture, don’t worry – I’m never drinking again.”

“I’m not gonna lecture you,” you’re almost offended. “Is this really your first hangover?”

“I mean….probably not. But it’s definitely the worst.” 

“Well now you know your limits,” you say, crossing the room to pour him a glass of water and get some ibuprofen from the long-expired bottle you keep in a cabinet.

“Maybe if we were allowed to drink when we were with Bea, I would’ve learned that sooner.”

You let Ethan’s get his dig in at the last community you’d lived with before Jackson. The more time you’d spent here, the more time he’d had to convince himself that what you’d gotten yourselves into was terrible. Because you had more of a complex perspective on it, it was the one subject you avoided speaking to each other about. 

Ethan is similar to Vincent in that while he’s very sensitive, he also seems to enjoy being an instigator. Of course, spending all of his life fighting to survive in a world that wants him dead has only intensified that. Bea had been good at helping him manage his temper when he was a teenager and it became too much for you to handle. But besides that, he doesn't get into much trouble, so you aren’t going to chastise him. 

“Drink this, and take these.”

He groans, but reaches out for the aspirin and water, nursing it down with small sips. You bite back a smile. The both of you have endured much worse than a hangover, but there’s something cathartic about seeing him experience the plights of a normal twenty-something. 

“Are you hungry?”

“If I eat anything, I think I will vomit,” he lays his head back down. 

You consider asking him if he wants you to stay so you can look after him, but decide that you don’t want to encourage the habit too much. Instead, you reach out and brush a strand of hair off his cheek so you can see him more clearly, and he closes his eyes. “I bet you’ll feel better in a couple hours. Drink water. It’ll help.”

He blinks up at you, seemingly unconvinced. “I saw that guy yesterday. The weird one.” 

“What guy?”

“Tommy’s brother. What’s his name?”

“Joel?” you ask, and pretend that saying his name doesn’t almost make you shiver. 

“Yeah,” he says. “He was with Tommy at the stables. Guess they’re making him a ranger.”

“Hm.”

“I know you knew him before or whatever, but he’s definitely a weirdo. And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better.”

The whatever in his sentence is doing a lot of heavy lifting. You roll your eyes, but not maliciously. “Well, he did just get here.” You definitely don’t owe Joel anything, so you surprise yourself by defending him. 

Ethan almost ignores your response, winces, turns his head back into his arms and grumbles something to the effect of I’m dying. 

“Rest up,” you ruffle his hair and kiss the top of his head, like you’ve been doing since before he could walk, and it’s hard to stop even though sometimes it annoys him. Right now, he doesn’t protest. “I’ll bring you home some soup from the mess hall. Take it easy.” 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s Tommy who lets you in once you arrive at Maria’s. She’s upstairs with the baby, he says, and tells you to wait in the living room, before you hear her frantic voice calling out for him to come help her. 

His footsteps retreat up the stairs, and you hover in the entrance to the living room, your eyes inexplicably drawn to the chalkboard with 

You glance at the little memorial that Tommy had made for Sarah and Kevin, Maria’s son. Even though you’ve seen it a million times at this point, the sight of her name, the date of her passing – the same day as Joel’s birthday – makes your stomach sink. 

That’s when you notice that you’re not alone. Sitting in a chair in the corner is the girl that you’d seen accompanying Joel. You hadn’t actually been properly introduced, you realized, and she’s staring at you like she doesn’t know what to do. She’s a cute kid, a teenager if you had to guess, her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. 

Based on how he’s been acting, you can’t imagine what Joel has told her about you. Probably nothing good. So you give her a nod and a small smile, before crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe. 

Surprisingly, the bit of sincerity seems to warm her up a little. “I’m Ellie,” she says.

You nod again, and give her your first name. “It’s nice to meet you, Ellie. Sorry I didn’t get the chance the other day.”

She shrugs. “It didn’t seem like that was your fault.”

You let your arms drop to your sides, straighten up. “Did you uh…come to see the baby or something?” 

Ellie shakes her head no. “I’m waiting for Tommy. He’s gonna take me to see the school.” 

“Oh, that’s nice.” 

“Not really,” she says. “I think school is fucking stupid. But everyone says I have to go, because all the other kids in town do, too.”

Ethan was grown when you arrived in Jackson, and you didn’t have children of your own, so it was the one place you didn’t really frequent. “Well, you probably should but….I hear you.”

There’s an almost imperceptible smile that crosses her features. You turn your head back to stare at the staircase, waiting for the sound of Maria’s footsteps, but all you can hear is her and Tommy whispering with frantic energy as they try to put their son down for a nap. 

“You know Joel won’t tell me anything about you,” Ellie’s voice cuts in, and you turn back towards her. “But you knew him before, didn’t you?”

You’re not sure how to take this information, or…how to respond to it. So you keep your response simple. “I mean, we were neighbors.” But even that feels like a lie, and a useless one to tell. Maybe it’s a little petty, but you don’t owe it to Joel to keep his secrets, especially not after he’s treated you so poorly. So you tell her the truth. “I guess he was also…my boyfriend for a little while.”

Ellie seems taken aback by this. “What happened? Did you break his heart or something?”

“No,” you snort. “We got separated before the outbreak.” 

“Oh.” She ponders for a moment. “So then why is he so mad?”

You shrug. “I’ll let you know if I find out.” 

“Well, he’s an asshole. But I bet you already know that,” Ellie says. 

Based on the time you actually spent with Joel, you would’ve never described him that way. So if that’s really how he’s perceived, even by the people who care about him, it makes you a little sad. Losing Sarah must have changed him more than you could imagine. 

You’re already sick of thinking about him so much, so you change the subject to something that’s at least a little lighter. “How did the two of you end up together, anyways?” 

“Long story,” she answers, and you get the sense there’s something she’s holding back. Because you just met, you don’t press her any further. 

“As I’d imagine.” 

You hear boots coming down the stairs, and Tommy rounds the corner, holding a stack of photos. “I’ve been meaning to show these to you, I went home a couple years back…to Joel’s old place and mine. There wasn’t much left, but I found these.”

He passes the pictures to you, and you look down at them. You don’t think much about your old house at all. It was another thing you lost, but almost everyone did, so it didn’t really make you feel special. Still, sometimes you thought of your cozy back patio and your old friend Martini, and had accepted you’d never see them again.

The first photo in the stack is a photo of Joel and Sarah at one of his soccer games. As sweet as the gesture is, you are pretty sure you can only confront so much of your past at once, and with Joel being back in town it’s starting to get suffocating. Also, when you study the picture and realize that your memory has gotten some of Sarah’s features wrong, you’re overwhelmed with guilt. 

Hesitantly, you place the pictures down on the coffee table, and Ellie reaches for them immediately, flipping through him. “Woah,” she says. “He looks so different without all the grey hair,” she flips to a photo of him and Tommy, and glances up at him. “You look pretty much the same.” 

When you agree with her, Tommy grins, playfully tucking a piece of hair behind his ear bashfully before growing serious. “You better not tell him I showed you these.” 

“I won’t,” Ellie assures him. 

“Look at this one.” Tommy pushes another photo across the table towards you, and you peer down to look at it. “He fucking adored you.”

You remember taking the picture vividly while on vacation with Joel and Sarah, and at one point you’d had your own copy framed on your dresser. There are flowers peppered in his hair, and you both look so young, and so happy, and so oblivious, his arms around you, his lips pressed against your cheek. At the time, you really had no idea that everything you knew was about to be destroyed. 

“Nice,” you say flatly, and in an effort to keep from getting emotional, push it back across the table, and retreat to sit in a chair across the room. 

After some time, and some convincing, Tommy and Ellie leave to go on their tour of the school. When the door closes behind them, you swipe the photo from you and Joel off the table and slide it into your back pocket. You tell yourself it’s so Tommy can’t show it to Joel, but really it’s because it’s one of the only memories you have of yourself before the outbreak, when everything felt perfect. 

Just as you back away from the pictures, Maria appears at the bottom of the steps. She looks exhausted, and before either of you can speak, you wrap her in a hug. Partly because it looks like she needs it, but also because you just want to feel close to someone you trust, even if it’s only for a few seconds. “How are you holding up?” you ask. 

“I finally get some peace and I’m using it to work,” she says, leading you into the dining room, where all the paperwork is spread out. Your plan had been to write a new amendment to the town’s constitution, which then had to be approved by the council. 

Maria hadn’t stayed away from her job as the leader of the community for very long after having their son, despite your encouragement for her to take it easy. She had experience with her previous son, Kevin, but you imagined it didn’t make life with a newborn any easier. So you tried to help her out with any chance you got, especially because you knew she’d do the same for you. it was just how things between you worked. She knew even more about you than Tommy did, and you told each other everything. Well, almost everything….

“You should take a nap or something.” 

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I’m serious,” you insist. “I can write a draft while you sleep and then you and I can do the revisions together. 

She seems reluctant, but after making you swear you’d wake her if the baby starts fussing, she lies down on the couch and you begin working. 

Like your old job, you don’t really like doing this. The only job you have in Jackson that actually excites you is the work you do with Eugene, and going on patrol. But this work makes you feel the most useful. And despite the fact that you had always been skeptical of authority – you believed in her ability to keep things in Jackson running smoothly. 

About an hour later, you’d drawn up the draft and Maria stirs from her nap. The revisions don’t take very long, since you both are usually on the same page, but when you start packing your things up to go, she seems surprised. 

“Are you hanging around until dinner?” 

“No, I have to meet up with Eugene,” you say. “Plus, Ethan’s at home hungover so I told him I’d make him soup. 

“Do you think he’ll be up for dinner tomorrow night?” she asks. “Tommy keeps pestering me.”

“Well he’s still too young for his hangovers to last two days,” you smirk. “So yeah, I think he will.”

“He invited…..Joel, and Ellie,” Maria says hesitantly, watching your face. “Is that okay?”

“I mean….it’s not my dinner party.”

“You can say no. Or not come,” she offers. She hadn’t been there the day you’d seen Joel again for the first time, but it sounds like Tommy has given her the rundown. 

You shrug. As much as you don’t want to admit it, being forced into the same room as Joel is a little exciting. “I’ll go.” 

“Are you doing okay with that?” she asks. “I told Tommy not to surprise you, but he didn’t listen.”

“It’s all fine,” you say, which isn’t entirely a lie. At the end of the day, everything would be fine. The stakes weren’t life and death. When Maria seems unconvinced, you continue. “I mean, it feels like he’s being a little rude…but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Maria lowers her eyes, pauses. “Has Tommy’s ever told you about any of the stuff Joel got him into when they were on their own?”

“Not really,” you say. “But I know they were on bad terms.” 

“I didn’t know you back then,” Maria begins. “So I don’t know what you saw in him, or what he was like. But….I don’t think he’s….I don’t know if it’s worth getting emotionally invested again.”

“Oh, bummer. As you know, reconnecting with an ex is my main priority right now.” you deflect with a smirk, but Maria doesn’t seem as amused.

“Fair,” she says. “But be careful. I saw what he did to his own brother. I don’t want it to happen to you.” 

“You don’t have to worry about me,” you assure her. “Whatever he’s done, I’ve dealt with worse.” 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-April 20, 2024-

When Joel and Ellie arrive at Tommy’s, it’s clear immediately they aren’t the only people that were invited. 

Seeing the life that Tommy had built for himself here – a thriving community, a wife, a son – fills him with a certain level of envy. But mostly….he’s ashamed. Back when they were hunters, Joel was adamant that it was the only way they could survive, despite the horrible things they were doing. The worst part was, Joel really believed it. Now, the nightmares still chasing both of them, he realizes he was wrong. Even if Tommy won’t say it out loud, Joel knows he resents him for those days, how he’d been forced to trade away so much of his humanity. For Joel, violence came easily – shockingly so – an outlet for all his anger after losing Sarah.  But Tommy had always struggled. And even though there will always be love between them, the tension was still there. 

He’s still adjusting to life in Jackson, only leaving the house when Ellie drags him out, and when Tommy trains him to go out on patrol. It’s hard to accept that he’s not on the run anymore after the chaotic nature of the last year. Only Tommy knows his darkest secret, and he intends to keep it that way. 

While Ellie does seem somewhat hesitant to leave him alone, she does seem a lot more enthusiastic about life in Jackson. Joel knows it’s a good thing, and once again, he feels like he’s let her down by not leading by example. 

Tommy greets them both once they step inside, and Joel is polite — something he’s been trying to do more of lately. Maria gives him a tight-lipped smile, one that tells him she’s trying to be civil despite her reservations. God only knows what Tommy has told her about their time together. At least he can understand where she’s coming from. Had they met twenty years ago in Austin, they probably would’ve gotten along. Nowadays, he’s not surprised when people don’t like him, because he hates himself, too. 

But Maria still entertains them with general pleasantries and questions about how they are settling in, despite looking incredibly flustered. Ellie is more apt to answer them then he is, Joel standing by with his thumbs in his belt loops. 

Over their shoulder, Joel sees you, standing in the corner of the front room with your back turned to him, deep in conversation with your nephew. He’s smiling and telling a very animated story, at one point clapping his palms on your shoulders and shaking them violently while you giggle. It makes him think of you and Sarah. Therein lies the problem. He’s become a little more comfortable discussing his past with Ellie, but there’s a limit to what he’s capable of, especially after repressing so much for so long. 

The oven goes off, and Maria excuses herself to the kitchen, inviting Ellie to follow along. Joel and Tommy are left standing in the entryway together.

“You invited her?” Joel asks, not bothering to hide the venom in his voice. 

Tommy steps back, giving him incredulous once-over. “It’s my house, isn’t it?” 

“I don’t know what game you’re trying to-“

Tommy shoves Joel into the dining room before he can finish his thought, out of eyesight from the rest of the people in the house. “I’m not playing games, Joel. She’s family. Maybe not to you, but definitely to Maria and I. And she’s never shown you anything but kindness. So grow the fuck up.” 

Before Joel can think of another objection, the sound of a baby crying cuts through the air. Tommy freezes at the sound, until you call out from the other room. “I got him.” 

“Come on,” he says. “Maybe you can muster up the courage to hold your nephew.” 

He wants to tell Tommy that he’s trying, even if it doesn’t look like it. But it almost feels better to allow himself to be the black sheep. It makes things easier. If he keeps that door closed, he’ll never need to worry about the problems that lie on the other side. Still, he begrudgingly follows his brother in the other room. 

When he enters the front room, you’re holding Maria and Tommy’s son in your arms.  

After Joel had learned that Ethan was your nephew, he was unsurprisingly relieved. What did surprise him, however, is that some small part of himself was disappointed. Sure, if you actually had his child while you were separated it would have been devastating. But before all this, all he had wanted was a future with you, would’ve gladly given you children….really, anything you wanted.

He tries not to let his eyes linger on you too long, lost in the daydream of what could’ve been, but you meet his eyes and give him such a sterile, polite nod that it’s almost painful.

Dinner is uneventful. Joel ends up seated directly across from you, Tommy’s doing, no doubt, but you do a good enough job of engaging in conversation that you don’t spend much time looking in Joel’s direction, and when you do, he doesn’t recognize your expression. It does give him the chance to study you up close, which he hadn’t done yet, and immediately regrets. 

He’s still just as attracted to you as he’d always been. Sure, you’ve aged, but so has he – although you wear it much more gracefully. When Tommy offers to pour some bourbon into Ethan’s glass, he refuses, and for whatever reason, you stifle a laugh, the wrinkles around your eyes more prominent than they used to be. 

After dinner, when the plates have been cleared, you disappear. He can feel himself growing overwhelmed, so he steps outside onto the back patio for some air. You’re sitting on a porch step looking out at the yard, but when he steps outside, you turn.

When you register that it’s him, you return your eyes forward again, and Joel remains silent, even considers walking back inside without a word. But he stays there so long, contemplating, that you’re the first to speak up. 

“You know, if you stay here….at some point, you are gonna have to acknowledge me.” 

Joel knows he’s the antagonist right now. He’s well aware. But he can’t help himself. Despite that, there’s no malice, and no bitterness in your voice. But you are direct. 

And, because he’s never been good at refusing you, he gives you something in return. “I guess I’m just surprised to see you here….” He recalls a conversation you’d had long ago, curled against his chest, staring up at the stars together. “Being a city girl and everything.” 

You turn to look over your shoulder, gaze making him feel warm, a small smile on your face. For a split second, you’re looking at him how you used to, and then it’s gone. “It is sort of a miracle, isn’t it?” 

He ponders this, and you continue. 

“It’s good to see you, Joel,” you say softly. He wonders how you can make general pleasantries sound so sweet, and is surprised at how easily you betray yourself with the words. Though he had noticed a pattern at dinner. You weren’t nearly as guarded as you used to be. He wonders how that’s possible, if you’ve made it this far. 

“You too.”

-

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#they are getting there #eventually #anyways #but strap in #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller series #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x you #the last of us #the last of us writing #tlou #tlou writing #pedro pascal #troy baker #tommy miller #pre-outbreak! joel miller x reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller x f!reader #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #ellie williams

[viviennevermillion]

5 Love Languages ♡

notes: might write these for all dorms if i have the stamina. if you would like to be notified when i post works for your favorite characters, you can join my taglist. also feel free to commission me! Also everytime I write anything for Lilia I have to physically stop myself from turning it into the angstiest shit I have ever written.

prompt: how they express the 5 love languages and how they like to receive love in return

contains: diasomnia x gn!reader

warnings: none

𝕄𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕦𝕤 𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕒 ♡

╰┈➤ Words of Affirmation

Malleus is one of the most verbally affectionate people in the cast. He may not be as in tune with his own emotions, but once he's aware of his feelings for you, he knows well to put them into words. He has this old-fashioned, sometimes almost poetic way of speaking and he doesn't even need to try very hard to make your heart beat faster. Like, just look at his lines in canon. "You're not afraid of me but I'm starting to become afraid...of losing you".....once you're dating him it's this x5. He'll take your hands into his and tell you that you make his heart flutter and that he wants nothing more but to spend the rest of his long, long life with you. He notices all the little things about you that he finds beautiful and he doesn't hesitate to tell you.

Malleus loves being on the receiving end of compliments as well. It boosts his mood instantly to have you gush over him or go on a tangent about how much you adore him. Malleus sucks up compliments and affection like a sponge. He'll have the softest smile on his face when you cup his face and tell him he means the world to you. He takes your hand into his and presses soft appreciative kisses to your knuckles. Malleus is whipped for you and the second your relationship is no longer a secret everyone will notice.

╰┈➤ Quality Time

Malleus loves spending time with you. Quality Time with him is the foundation of your relationship and the whole reason you even got this far with him. After centuries of being alone, Malleus adores having someone who will just ask him to hang out with them like it's second nature and he won't hesitate to seek you out either when he has an idea for how to spend your day together. This goes without saying but Malleus would love to take you on long nightly walks under the stars and hold your hand; exploring his favorite ruins and explaining every gargoyle he sees to you. You expressing interest in him and listening to his words with your utmost attention was what touched his heart first and it never fails to make him grateful for your presence in his life. Malleus is also up for almost any date ideas you bring to the table. He has much to explore about this world and what better way to do this than with the person he loves? He's curious and attentive. As your lover it's self-evident for him to learn more about your hobbies and engage with you in the things you're passionate about. His interest in your life is nothing half-hearted and you can bet he's getting just as excited as you about the things that matter to you.

╰┈➤ Gifts

Malleus likes to give you gifts as well. It's custom for dragon fae to give their lover prized possessions such as gemstones and jewelry, but Malleus has a very different understanding of what a valuable gift is than most fae engaging in this method of courting. So you'll get expensive jewels alongside a photo of his favorite gargoyle and a broken chandelier he found in an abandoned building. Sometimes you don't really know what to do with the gifts he gives you but he insists that once you become his consort you can have your own dragon hoard and just put everything there.

He treasures every gift you give him as well, no matter what it is. But he is especially weak for gifts where he can tell that you put a lot of thought into it. Something personal, adjusted to his interests. A modern book about gargoyles or a beautiful ice cream cup. He'll thank you and press a kiss to your lips gently, reminding you that he loves you and that you're the greatest gift he could ask for.

╰┈➤ Acts of Service

Don't let him. At least not in the beginning of the relationship when he's not as attuned to your needs yet. Because we know how Malleus trying to do things for other people usually turns out...acts of service from this man could be anything from a mild inconvenience to a magical safety hazard. He has the best intentions but the worst approaches.

Once he becomes aware of those shortcomings, he makes a point of asking you directly how he could support you. He will accompany you to tasks and appointments that stress you if you so wish, as well as use his magic to make life easier for you if you tell him that he can. It'll take him a while to not mess it up but he'll try for you.

Malleus generally doesn't see a need for you to assist him in anything while at Night Raven College, as he can do most of his tasks easily with magic. He still chuckles at your attempts to do so and feels flattered though. When you become his consort, Malleus treasures when you support him in his duties as prince and later king. Sometimes you'll personally bring him a few snacks and a cup of black coffee when he's busy with his documents. He'll thank you and presses a soft kiss to your lips, smiling against them and squeezing your hand gently, offering that you may seek him out if you need any assistance with your share of the work as well.

╰┈➤ Physical Touch

Malleus is touch-starved so he will happily take you up on the offer to touch you, if you allow him. When you two are alone, he'll be snuggled close to you or at least has an arm wrapped around you or holds your hand.

He'll let you touch his horns. They're quite sensitive and he'll close his eyes, letting out a soft sigh as you work your magic. When he's stressed or something upset him, he loves to rest his head in your lap and have you card your fingers through his hair and gently caress his horns.

Malleus also loves when you kiss the markings on his forehead. It's a silent promise for dragon fae that one intends to stay by their side forever. Malleus takes this gesture as an unspoken sign of your devotion and he'll reciprocate it, even if you don't have any dragon markings.

He loves to be snuggled up in bed with you or take a nice warm bath, kissing you softly for as long as you let him. He loves to spoil you with his affection and receive yours in turn.

╰┈➤ Words of Affirmation

Lilia has his own, sometimes strange way of reminding you verbally just how much you matter to him. He always expresses his love for you in words when you least expect it; often by using unusual analogies and sentences that aren't very direct but still make it clear that he's speaking from his heart and out of genuine adoration for you.

Lilia is used to taking care of others; having served Briar Valley for centuries as well as having raised both Malleus and Silver. His love for you will shine through the most in moments where he's worried about you or scolds you playfully. He'll float if necessary, putting a hand at the back of your head and letting you bury your head in his chest. He'll look down at you with a peaceful smile of such pure devotion and fondness you don't get to see that often, softly telling you not to worry too much or to be more careful. He presses a kiss to your forehead as a reminder that he's always there when you need him.

Lilia can be a tease when he's on the receiving end for compliments. He'll usually laugh it off. "Khee hee, you flatter me", he'd chuckle and press a kiss to your cheek. But sometimes you'll see him respond with a sly smirk. "You think this getup suits me? Well, tell me all about it, won't you?", he lowers his pitch, maybe whispers in your ear or nibbles at your lips gently. Though, his teasing demeanor quickly shifts back to a hearty laugh when he sees that he has made you flustered. "Hehe, I didn't mean to fluster you", he lies. He absolutely meant to do that.

╰┈➤ Quality Time

Even though Lilia has been on this earth for a very long time, he still treasures the time he gets to spend with the people he loves and you're no exception to that. Sometimes you may underestimate how much all these small moments shared with you mean to him, especially with how casually he tends to talk about him, but those are the things he'll remember most when his final day does come.

Lilia loves to share the things he finds fun with you. He'll let you sit on his lap (or sit on yours) when he's gaming online and let you watch, explaining the game to you so you can share the experience together. He'll totally be up for playing games with you if you'd like to get the game yourself. He's the kind of man who's super welcoming to new players and willing to help you out whenever you need it.

He'll also offer to cook with you. If you are brave enough to let him into a kitchen while you're preparing a meal, you better keep a watchful eye on him to make sure he doesn't put any "special ingredients" into the dish that he thinks would "spice it up". Sometimes he'll be very insistent about doing things his way and assures you repeatedly that he has ways to improve the recipe tremendously. Pay no mind to suggestions like "Are you sure we don't want the oyster sauce in there?" or "Shouldn't we leave the gratin in the oven for a bit longer? The cheese on top isn't even black yet"; for the good of everyone involved.

Lilia knows how, even for someone with a long lifespan, life can feel surprisingly short; as can the time we spend with those we care about be cut short in an instant. As someone who has seen the horrors of war and experienced loss over and over again, Lilia sees even more meaning in the fact that you've chosen to spend a significant portion of your time with him. Time is a precious resource and he'd choose to spend his on you and the children he raised over and over again.

╰┈➤ Gifts

You need to find some sort of way to get yourself out of the predicament of being given "homemade meals" by him because that stuff is inedible, if not actively toxic, but you can also tell he put a lot of effort into it, however misplaced that effort may be. He'll be so excited when he brings you the dish, waiting eagerly to see your reaction to his cooking. Only that your reaction would probably not be what he anticipated.

Other than that, Lilia has a way of finding gifts and souvenirs you would enjoy for sure, just as he does for Malleus, Silver and Sebek. He treasures every gift you give him as well, whether it's something expensive you bought or something as simple as a sloppily made acorn necklace. For Lilia, it's the thought that counts when it comes to gifts.

╰┈➤ Acts of Service

Lilia doesn't mind helping you out when you need it; assisting you in matters that may stress you out or that you may have trouble with on your own; though Lilia is someone who will also always encourage you to be brave and find your own way to tackle issues head-on. He can't always tell you how to solve a problem in a way that works for you, but when you do find out yourself, he'll be very proud of you.

Lilia insists that he doesn't need your help with anything and most of the time that is true, but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate your attempts at doing so anyway. And if he truly does need your assistance with something, then what you do for him will be something he'll never forget.

╰┈➤ Physical Touch

Lilia enjoys touch; especially for showing his affection to you when he can't really put it into words. You'll definitely receive headpats whenever the occasion calls for it.

He'll also let you cuddle him when you wish to do so, letting you rest your head on his chest while he has an arm wrapped around you. He'll let you fall asleep while he holds you; though Lilia tends to shift around a lot at night. Sometimes you'll wake up and find him sleeping upside down on the ceiling instead. This is normal behavior for him, don't let it deter you.

Lilia likes teasing you with his physical affection. Expect quite a few kisses on your neck and close to your earlobe. He finds it very amusing when he can fluster you. Though, his teasing is often followed by a genuine, gentle kiss to your lips or your temple, to reassure you he truly does mean all the affection he gives to you.

╰┈➤ Words of Affirmation

Silver isn't really that good at putting his love for you into words and when he attempts to do so, he'll be quite awkward about it and maybe stumble over his words a few times. His care for you shows in the way he's willing to protect you and how he worries about you a lot. That is the one thing he never fails to tell you. That you do not have to hesitate to call for him when you need his help for anything or feel unsafe in any situation. Your comfort and well-being is so important to him and he treasures when you acknowledge his efforts at preserving those things. He loves when you tell him he's a good boyfriend and is relieved to know that he's doing everything properly when it comes to making you feel loved and cared for in the relationship; as he doesn't really have any experience with dating and was quite nervous at first.

Silver gets flustered quite easily when he's on the receiving end of compliments. Lilia teases him about it a lot when he first starts dating you. His father is going to try to play wingman for the two of you and he's having the time of his life with it. Lilia will also absolutely tell you about the sweet things Silver has said about you when you're not around. Silver doesn't really know how to respond to a lot of verbal affection, so he just tends to let his actions speak and holds you for a while or gives you a sweet kiss.

╰┈➤ Quality Time

Silver has learnt to appreciate the time he has to spend with his loved ones, especially growing up around people who will live for so much longer than he does. So he too will treasure how much time you're willing to dedicate to him.

Before he confessed to you, he was a little unsure what activities you would enjoy doing together and he was a little hesitant to suggest anything; letting you pick whenever the occasion called for it, but he starts taking the initiative more once he actually starts dating you. He'll get one of the horses from the equestrian club ready and will take you on a ride, letting you sit behind him and relishing in the feeling of your arms wrapped around him and you holding onto him for support.

Silver sometimes, as he always has a habit to in any situation, falls asleep during your time spent together and he'll feel so sorry for it. At first he's worried that you might take it as a sign that he finds your presence boring or isn't really committed to your activities together, so reassure him that you don't take it personally. He'll still feel a little guilty, but he appreciates the reassurance. He'll try his best to stay awake during your dates.

╰┈➤ Gifts

Silver is pretty classy when it comes to gift-giving. Flowers and chocolates are his go-to option along with anything you have previously expressed wanting or enjoying. When he knows you like a certain brand of tea or a type of shampoo, he gets it for you when he sees it in a store. Silver is very attentive and notices when you run out of things needed for your daily life and he has a habit of getting them for you.

Silver has a tendency to be humble when you give him gifts. "Thank you, y/n, but that really wouldn't have been necessary" and "You didn't need to go out of your way to get me anything" are not unusual sentences to come out of his mouth; even on anniversaries or Valentine's Day. He'll be a little awkward about receiving gifts from you but he does appreciate them a lot nonetheless!

He's especially fond of practical gifts. Things like new riding gear or polish for his sword. It tells him that you're paying attention to the activities he cares about and support him in his training as well as with his hobbies. Silver will thank you for your gifts with a kiss on the cheek and reminds you that he loves you very much.

╰┈➤ Acts of Service

Perhaps the most prevalent love language Silver has. I mean he's literally a prince's attendant, a guard and his motivation is dedicating his life to pay his adoptive father back for raising him. If Silver is good at any way to express love, it's acts of service and that is what he defaults to. He's always ready to get you whatever you need to be comfortable and happy; he'll protect you whenever the need arises and he is dedicated to supporting you with any situations you might struggle with.

He's so attentive and can even go a little over the top when you're not feeling well. You're sick? He'll look up how to make a nice soup for you and brings it to your bed along with however many blankets you need and a warm tea. Nervous about an upcoming event? He'll hold your hand, gently caressing the back of your hand with his thumb to reassure you that he's right here with you to support you. He'll try to find solutions to the problem to make you feel more at ease. You're crying? Silver is ready to hand you tissues and wrap his arms around you, letting you cry into his shoulder.

Silver is a giver in a relationship and acts of service is another thing he will say he doesn't need and that you don't need to go out of your way to do anything for him. He can even be a little stubborn with this. Lilia might bonk him gently and tell him to just let you spoil him for once.

╰┈➤ Physical Touch

Silver loves cuddling. He'll fall asleep very easily when he's nestled in your arms and has your fingers running through his soft hair. He'd have a smile on his face that he isn't even aware of in that moment.

His kisses are gentle and sweet most of the time, reminding you of the pure and unconditional love he has for you. You're his first love and it shows. It takes him a while to ease into being shown a lot of physical affection but he adores it. Never complains about it and just accepts it without question.

He also doesn't mind PDA. He enjoys taking walks with you around campus, holding your hand or having an arm wrapped around you. He kisses your lips or your forehead as a quick goodbye whenever you part ways to go to different classes.

╰┈➤ Words of Affirmation

The one love language Sebek likes to receive the most. He's not too enthusiastic about mixed signals and when he's truly dedicated to someone, he wants to know he's doing a good job at providing comfort and happiness for them. If you don't tell him on your own, he will ask you whether you're satisfied with how much affection he's showing you, if he's giving you everything you need and whether there's anything lacking. Sebek takes pride in being praised for his care and attentiveness and he craves the affirmation that he's a good boyfriend to you.

He will boast about it when you compliment him and he might let it go to his head once in a while. He definitely brags about the compliments you have given him to other people and sometimes you'll have to remind him to tone it down a notch.

Sebek is also very quick to compliment you in return. You're also Sebek's first relationship and he needs to unlearn the tendency to idealize you the way he does Malleus (he also needs to unlearn to idealize Malleus but that's another cup of tea). Either way, if you're dating Sebek you will know exactly where you stand with him. He leaves no room for doubt about that. He could go on for an hour about all the things he loves about you. He's the type to send you a whole love letter in your DM's.

Sebek finds so many little things he thinks are beautiful about you and with time you'll become aware of every single one of them.

╰┈➤ Quality Time

Sebek feels honored that you spend your time with him. He enjoys the quieter moments; having tea together or talking about books you have read. Like Silver, he will also take you horse-riding and enjoy the scenery on the Isle of Sages with you.

Sebek's ideal date is just going to the bookstores on the island and picking out books for each other; preferably something one of you has read already, so you can both look forward to the other's thoughts about the matter. He loves just being snuggled up in a cozy position on the couch and reading idly next to each other. You occasionally exchange kisses or he'll glance over to your book, see which chapter you're on and ask you for your thoughts on a particular thing that happened in the book.

╰┈➤ Gifts

I hope his parents don't give him that much pocket money because Sebek is not above spending a ridiculous amount of money on gifts you really didn't need. If someone just offhandedly mentions something would be a good gift for a lover, Sebek is already contemplating whether to get it for you. I'm honestly surprised Azul hasn't made a regular customer out of Sebek yet because convincing him that you or Malleus would like a thing is a pretty solid way to get Sebek to spend money.

He treasures every gift you give him. Even if you didn't intend for something to be a gift. You could give him the wrapper of your chocolate bar and he'd treat it like a family heirloom. This is another "Sebek you need to tone it down a notch" instance.

Sebek is appreciative of literally everything you do for him so if you want a boyfriend who'll have grand reactions to your affection and is no stranger to elaborately explaining just how much a thing you did touched his heart, Sebek is your guy.

╰┈➤ Acts of Service

Sebek's #1 love language when it comes to giving you love. When you need something, Sebek gets ready to provide it for you before you even finished your sentences sometimes. "Sebek. Chill. Sit down", you take his hand and guide him to sit next to you again. "Right...", he responds and runs a hand through his hair awkwardly.

He moderates a little as your relationship progresses. At the beginning of it he's in a state where he would gladly do your homework for the rest of the year and make you dinner every evening etc.

He is so touched when you do things for him in return. He's like "wow, they actually put in so much effort to support me 😳🥺" internally and struggles to process that he's actually that lucky for this to be happening to him.

╰┈➤ Physical Touch

Sebek loves physical touch and he's actually kinda sensitive. At the beginning of the relationship when he's not used to your affection yet, just a kiss or you running your hands through his hair is enough to have him stumbling over his words and struggling to form coherent sentences. Sebek.exe has stopped working.

Sebek actively encourages as much PDA as possible without having it affect his reputation as Malleus's guard. He loves to boast about your affection and your love for him. Literally, the entire school could hate your guts and Sebek would still brag about being your boyfriend.

If you don't stop him you're going to be that couple who kisses repeatedly in the hallway before class starts.

Sebek especially adores cheek kisses and when you nuzzle his neck. But literally all affection from you has the potential to make his heart melt.

If you go too overboard, he might cry out of happiness.

taglist ─ @moldy-cheeto @vera-deville @rose-the-witch1 @endlessorrow @xxheartspadexx @mochinee @curekibouka-writing

also sebek is surprisingly hard to write for if you have to ignore malleus for the most part

#twisted wonderland #diasomnia x reader #diasomnia #malleus draconia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #silver x reader #twst silver x reader #twisted wonderland silver x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #sebek x reader #malleus x reader #lilia x reader #malleus draconia x you #malleus draconia #malleus x you #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x you #sebek zigvolt #sebek zigvolt x you

[sordidmusings]

Buggy Headcanon: Comforting his partner on their appearance

A/N: headcanons requested by anon! Thank you for the request this one was really sweet. I hope it's what you wanted and I hope that you’ve been having better days ❤️

Word Count: ~800

Warnings: afab!reader (they/them pronouns), slight thirst for a bullet there but nothing explicit, gets very sappy but thats my shit so if you don't like it get ready to square up 😤

Get a dose of some love 🤍!!

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

Buggy is your biggest fan, just like you are his

He’s always letting you know how highly he thinks of you, whether that be with compliments (usually crude or goofy ones), clinging to you (you’ve heard of velcro dogs, let me introduce you to Gorilla glue Buggy), and touching you with either reverence or greed

Most often, he'll try to take your mind off of it by joking around and acting dramatic

He'll let out an offended gasp. "You're insulting my favorite person in the whole wide world?? TAKE IT BACK."

He'll collapse onto the nearest surface, throwing the back of his hand to his forehead like a true thespian, and bemoan, "My love - my sweet, wonderful, breathtaking love - is the greatest fool. Grab the hat and shoes; they're saying they're ugly again."

"Uh, yeah, but you know what that's perfect for??" *blows raspberry on it*

The reverent touches come in best to ease your difficult days - the way that he traces eyes and fingers across you with awe makes it hard to disbelieve his attraction. He’s learned from your brushes and kisses on his nose that the best balm for insecurities is unflinching affection. 

He loves you deeply and that extends to all of you. Everyone has their favorite pieces of each other of course, but the few parts that he had started out indifferent to (due to his distraction towards your highlighted features) had also gained a rosy sheen because they’re yours.

There was a particularly bad day you had where no sweet words or cuddling would break through your low mood. He had you tell him every one of your insecurities so he could caress each of them with loving hands and tender kisses. You felt much more content at the end; he had proven that not a feature on you would have him hesitate or flinch away. It was quite the opposite actually - he fell in love with you more with each emotional wound you trusted to his care, and he only saw you as more beautiful as you in your totality came into focus before his eyes.

The greedy part of him takes any chance to squeeze at you. A lot of the time it's playful - a passing slap to your ass, a pinch at your waist before he jumps away laughing, a palm at your breast enjoying the feel as he moves by. But there are times where it’s more insatiable - a hungry mouth pressed against breasts and stomach and hips and thighs, grasping fingers sinking into soft skin along with nipping teeth.

While he isn’t the most comfortable with sentimental words, he is actually really great with them. They always hold more weight to you, because he saves them for when you need to understand the truth of his feelings.

It’s not that he never says affectionate things - “There’s my showstopper!”, “So pretty”, “That’s perfect, sweetcheeks” and “Love you, little star” were very common in your life - but he avoided waxing poetic because it made him feel vulnerable.

This is partly due to the exposure he feels at stating such emotions after fiercely shielding anything that could be hurt behind steel plating, partly because this is you so any rebuff could break him (he worries about this not because he questions your devotion, but because he questions his worth), and partly because he fears that his words and feelings are stupid and inane, especially in the face of your own troubles

His own devotion has him push past those fears, because he would do anything to see you at peace or happy and smiling.

After a day of playing, teasing, working, and loving with each other, you still found yourself bending under the weight of the negative voice in your thoughts. Buggy had noticed the sorrow dragging down your features and felt his own heart ache.

The transition to bed was slower than usual to make time for him to keep distracting you with gentle touches, delicate kisses, and helping hands easing your tasks.

You found yourself bundled in your favorite sleepwear and cradled against his chest. You had choked up a bit when he knew to choose these clothes for you and helped you change into them. Buggy may come off as only brash and chaotic a lot of the time, but he diligently saved away any information he could about you, using it to love you better.

When the comforting pressure of his arms, the soft swipes of his hands on your skin, and the lulling warmth of his body underneath you had replaced any harsh thoughts, you began slipping into a peaceful slumber.

Buggy noticed you moving on to dreams so he gifted you one last promise to take with you.

“I would take my chances with the depths of the sea to fall at your feet and worship every piece of you.”

@fanaticsnail tagging as requested ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

#buggy x reader #buggy headcanons #anon request #buggy the clown #opla buggy #one piece #afab reader #one piece x reader #buggy x you #buggy x y/n #opla buggy x reader #buggy fluff #my writing

[thecoleopterawithana]

Even though John is under-powered in this period we still see what made him so magnetic to Paul and to others around him. There is a scene early in Part Two that I find riveting. It takes place a couple of days after George has left. The status of everything - the project, the band - remains uncertain, but they are ploughing on for now. John, Yoko, Ringo, Paul and some of the crew are sitting in a semi-circle. Paul looks pensive. Ringo looks tired. John is speaking only in deadpan comic riffs, to which Paul responds now and again. Peter Sellers comes in and sits down, looks ill-at-ease, and leaves having barely said a word, unable to penetrate the Beatle bubble. At some point they’re joined by Lindsay-Hogg, and the conversation dribbles on. John mentions that he had to leave an interview that morning in order to throw up (he and Yoko had taken heroin the night before). Paul, looking into space rather than addressing anyone in particular, attempts to turn the conversation towards what they’re meant to be doing:

Paul: See, what we need is a serious program of work. Not an endless rambling among the canyons of your mind.

John: Take me on that trip upon that golden ship of shores… We’re all together, boy.

Paul: To wander aimlessly is very unswinging. Unhip.

John: And when I touch you, I feel happy inside. I can’t hide, I can’t hide. [pause] Ask me why, I’ll say I love you.

Paul: What we need is a schedule.

John: A garden schedule.

I mean first of all, who is writing this incredible dialogue? Samuel Beckett?

Let’s break it down a little. The first thing to note is that John and Paul are talking to each other without talking to each other. This is partly because they’re aware of the cameras and also because they’re just not sure how to communicate with each other at the moment. John’s contributions are oblique, gnomic, riddling, comprised only of songs and jokes, like the Fool in King Lear. Take me on that trip upon that golden ship of shores sounds like a Lennonised version of a line from Dylan’s Tambourine Man (“take me on a trip upon your magic swirling ship”). “We’re altogether, boy”? I have no idea. Does Paul? I think John expects Paul to understand him because he has such faith in what they used to call their “heightened awareness”, a dreamlike, automatic connection to each other’s minds. But right now, Paul is not much in the mood for it. His speech is more direct, though he too adopts a quasi-poetic mode (“canyons of your mind” is borrowed from a song by the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band) and he can’t bring himself to make eye contact. “To wander aimlessly is very unswinging,” he says (another great line, I will pin it above my writing desk). Then John does something amazing: he starts talking in Beatle, dropping in lyrics from the early years of the band, I Want To Hold Your Hand and Ask Me Why. (To appreciate John’s response to Paul’s mention of a schedule, American readers may need reminding that English people pronounce it “shed - dule”.)

What’s going on throughout this exchange? Maybe Lennon is just filling dead air, or playing to the gallery, but I think he is (also) attempting to communicate to Paul in their shared code - something like he loves him, he loves The Beatles, they’re still in this together. Of course, we can’t know. I can’t hide, John says, hiding behind his wordplay.

— Ian Leslie, "The Banality of Genius: Notes on Peter Jackson's Get Back" (January 26, 2022).

[I was curious to read more of Ian Leslie's approach to the Beatles in general and Lennon-McCartney in particular, since he's currently writing a book about John and Paul's relationship: “John and Paul: A Love Story in Songs". He's also the author of that New York Times opinion piece that came out today.]

#The Beatles #John Lennon #Paul McCartney #Get Back sessions #the person i actually picked as my partner #johnny #macca #I Want to Hold Your Hand #Tell Me Why #But I could never speak my mind #As we share in each other's minds #quote #my stuff #That Paul and John business

[artful-aries]

Genshin Headcanons: Ways They Show Affection (Dottore, Dehya)

Dottore

​​Affection is not the Doctor’s forte

​​The definition of calm, cool, and collected, he’s not going to just give you a kiss on your cheek or hold you in his arms

​​If anything, you’ll find yourself begging for him to pay some attention to you

​​The man just often gets sucked into his research, almost forgetting about your existence. You’re still special though, if anyone else interrupted his research, they would be dead by now

​​Still, for him to stop his research and actually give you attention, the stars need to align and he needs to be in a good mood

​​On these lucky days, he will gladly hold you hand as he works, or perhaps sit in his lap if it doesn’t impede his research and you promise to not squirm around too much

​​If you are really good and let him finish his research for the day, Dottore will give you the affection that you crave. Kisses, a warm embrace, the whole nine yards. He’s just….a little intense about it

​​Takes the time to tell you how wonderful he thinks your body is, but not in a sexy way

​​The way he talks, it almost sounds like he either thinks you’re the divine among mortals, or a prime candidate for organ harvesting. You still aren’t sure which he leans towards

​​Outside of physical affection, Dottore is thoughtful enough to leave you notes before he heads off to the lab to research. They are simple; telling you to take care of yourself, where you can find him, sending you his regards, nothing poetic but it shows that he does think about you.

​​He gives gifts…in the form of the results of his latest research. Sometimes it genuinely neat things, like brighter, more sustainable magical crystals. Other times, it’s strange amalgamations of things you rather remain blissfully unaware of

​​It’s almost like he’s showing off his abilities, like a cat that brings back a dead mouse for you to praise them for

​​

​​Dehya

​​Her affection is rough, but it comes in abundance

​​She totally gives you noogies on top of your head, plays pranks on you to get you flustered, or straight up manhandles you and flings you into an oasis pool. Having grown up mostly around men her whole life, she doesn’t see anything wrong with this

​​If you complain she will try to be more gentle; she won’t give you noogies anymore, but she won’t stop the pranks. Sorry, she thinks your shocked face is hilarious

​​Physical affection comes naturally to Dehya, she’s always got an arm around you, planting kisses on your cheek if other mercenaries stare at you for too long, etc

​​When the two of you alone, Dehya almost gets nervous about touching you. She wants to so bad, but she psyches herself out, thinking that she might go too far and make you uncomfortable

​​Dehya is a good gift giver too, she secretly saves up money from her jobs to get you nice trinkets and things that she finds in her travels

​​Her fatal flaw is that she is bad about taking you in dates; she spends a lot of quality time with you, but rarely thinks about taking you to any place fancy

​​It’s not that she doesn’t love you enough, the concept just seems a bit weird to her. Why would she take you to a stuffy place when she can spend that time stargazing with you out in the desert?

​​If you insisted she would make a good effort, but you would be able to tell she’s a little on edge and uncomfortable the entire time

​​The best time for Dehya is sitting under the shade of a tree at an oasis, soaking her feet in the water with you as you both laugh about everything and nothing at all

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin x reader #reader insert #genshin imagine #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagine #genshin headcanon #Dottore #dottore x reader #dehya #dehya x reader

[preeningpisces]

Kenjaku NSFW Headcanons

Don’t yell at me please, I have extremely questionable taste

Lemme know if you want me to elaborate or write something about any of these ♥️

18+ content below, mdni, implied chubby f!reader, dark content

TW: implied non-con, mention of odd kinks

ꕥ Definitely the freakiest freak. Bitch has probably tried everything. Wherever your mind went, the answer is yes, he probably tried that too. This dude is old and bored and has too much free time on his hands; a perfect example of why retirement homes are a thing

ꕥ Very detached the whole time which is unnerving, but also sexy in a way. It’s like he’s just conducting an experiment and observing the results

ꕥ Making him lose his composure, no matter how brief, is one of the hottest things you'll see. Trust meee

ꕥ Their libido is greatly affected by the vessel, even their kinks/preferences are affected. Very aware where his tastes end, and the vessels begins, but he’ll entertain them regardless. Hedonistic mfer

ꕥ Loves figuring out how new bodies work. He has very unique insights about sex because of this, and it makes him surprisingly skilled. He knows his way around very well, and how different preferences can be or how differently ppl can experience pleasure

ꕥ Attracted to intellect & humor—goofy bitches rise up. People who interest him in some way are more likely to be kept around than someone with just a pretty face. He isn’t loving tho, he just likes someone he can fuck around with, and pick apart their brain for entertainment (not literally…I think)

ꕥ Likes that your body is so malleable, and submits to his touch. When he squeezes, his fingers dip into your flesh, as if he's an artist and you're clay—oh so poetic

ꕥ On the topic of submitting: I don’t think he’d be want to be submissive. He’s too egotistical and doesn’t trust other ppl enough. Maybe they’d fuck with it occasionally with someone trustworthy enough

ꕥ Yknow when people say things like ‘my exe used to do this thing with their tongue’ and they don’t really know how to describe what they did, or why it felt so good? That’s what having sex with Kenjaku is like. Lots of odd tricks in that squishy lil brain

ꕥ His dirty talk is direct, smooth and cold. Usually condescending. Again, they’ve got that scientist vibe so everything they say is almost like an observation, but somehow he says it in a sexy way. He’s a manipulator, so he’s good with his words. Also bro has 0 shame, they will say the nastiest shit if the mood strikes them

ꕥ Talkative in bed, kind of like when he fights. What a nerd. Someone shove him in a locker for me. It pertains to whatever you’re doing, don’t get me wrong, he isn’t lecturing you about cursed energy while he’s got you bent over. Probably.

ꕥ Not possessive at all, will totally pimp you out. Very cocky when you quickly realize they aren’t as skilled as him

ꕥ Likes to do shocking things in bed just to toy with you and see how you react. Usually pretty cruel and sadistic when they do these things

ꕥ Toy enthusiast, idgaf. Will tape a vibrator to your clit, get a fucking machine, and just leave you there for hours. He’d probably record it to watch later so he can go do his nefarious plotting and deeds while you suffer

ꕥ Medical kink king, he absolutely fucks with a nice speculum. He’ll strap you down to an examination table & crank you open like it’s a car jack. Inject weird shit into you, maybe some erotic e-stim stuff too

ꕥ I consulted Gege, and he said clit enlargement/pump. He’ll get it all puffed up and raw before going to town on it—both hot and horrifying

ꕥ Breeding kink but in the worst way

ꕥ Very very into fluids & mess: I’ll let you decide what that means LMFAO

ꕥ IDK I just get the vibe he's a whacky and unpredictable in the bedroom because he's all about reactions. He's just a curious lil guy, don't be mad at him

#all 12 kenjaku fans here’s some food #it’s just a granola bar unfortunely :/ #Kenjaku smut #kenjaku x reader #kenjaku x you #kenjaku x chubby reader #chubby reader #divider by plutism #tw noncon #dark content #dreams of kenjaku ☁︎ #nightmares ☽ #headcanons ☽ #dreams ☽ #wet dreams ☽

[solisaureus]

how do you write a fic and make it like

long?

ok actually i did give a brief workshop in a fandom server on this once. Here’s the sparknotes:

Stage 1: brainstorming

- decide the topic of your story. write down the idea that sparked your inspiration and start there. this is your core concept from which everything else arises. write down everything that you come up with when thinking about your story, even if you don’t end up incorporating it.

- if you don’t have ideas, most of my fic ideas arise when talking about my fav characters with friends who also love them.

- pin down a few essential aspects of your core concept. is it an AU or canon compliant? ship vs gen? is it going to focus on an overarching plot or a particular character’s personal journey? what ao3 rating do you expect it to be? what trope tags do you think you’ll add?

- make a pinterest board and a playlist for your fic concept. i’m serious this helps you solidify the tone, setting, and mood of your story and can provide more inspiration

Stage 2: outlining

- now that you know what your fic is gonna be about, it’s time to break down the story and make it a complete narrative. Your outline can be as detailed or as bare bones as you want. some writers don’t make an outline at all, but i cannot even begin to comprehend their power, and if you’ve never written a long work before i highly recommend starting with an outline.

- the two most important things to keep in mind during this stage are PACING and STRUCTURE. Characterization is secondary in this stage but still important. Now is the time to establish the setting and the major plot beats.

- decide the narrator, point of view, and tense during this stage

- if you’re stuck for ideas, here’s a cheat for pacing — come up with just 3 things: a goal, a time limit, and stakes. What does your protagonist want to accomplish, how long do they have to do it, and what are the consequences if they don’t achieve it in the time limit? Character A is in love with Character B and wants to be with them (goal), but Character B is moving away at the end of the summer (time limit). Character B risks rejection, and losing their friendship with Character A (stakes). Boom, you already have the skeleton of a story. Try to identify these elements in your favorite stories, it helps you practice this and can give you ideas for your own story. Frodo has to deliver the Ring to Mt. Doom (goal) before Sauron’s armies overwhelm Gondor (time limit) or else the world will fall into shadow (stakes). Obviously, this is just one plot formula among a wide variety and there’s no one right way to write a story, but it can get you started.

- Another way you can start is by detailing some exposition events, some rising actions, a climax, and resolution. If you already have a climactic scene in mind, you just need to figure out how your characters get there and what they do afterwards.

- once your outline is done, you should have a general feel for how long the project will be

Stage 3: drafting

- now it’s time to write the damn thing. sounds simple but it’s not

- practice getting into Da Writing Zone. when it’s time for me to get serious, I have a few video game soundtracks i’ll put on through my noise cancelling headphones, i’ll make myself some tea, and i’ll light a candle. i have basically conditioned myself to write when i hear the journey soundtrack or when i smell my pomegranate candle.

- Each scene that you write should serve a purpose in the overall narrative. I personally determine whether each scene contributes to at least one of the following: worldbuilding, progressing the plot, or characterization. a good scene will accomplish two or even all three.

- consider the voice, whether you’re writing from first or third person. are you telling the story with stern reverence, poetic wonder, snarky indifference? consistency in voice strengthens the story.

- keep suspense in mind, too. you dont want the protagonist to know everything right away — be intentional about what information they learn and when. what the protagonist knows and what the reader knows can differ, too — this is the source of dramatic irony. or you can keep the reader ignorant and have them discover plot elements at the same time as your protag. the intrigue!

- take your time. pace yourself. writing is hard and you don’t have a deadline when it comes to fanfiction. if you’re in a rut, something that i do is that i force myself to write 200 words — if i do that and i’m still not feeling it, i stop there and try again in a few days, but a lot of the time i just keep writing once i get past that hurdle of just starting.

- beginnings are always hard. keep in mind that this is just your draft — whatever you write doesn’t have to be the final version. just start at a point that seems interesting to you.

- as a general rule of thumb, if you’re bored writing something, it’ll be boring to read, too. you may tell yourself that you HAVE to write this dry section about worldbuilding or write how the characters get from one place to another, but do you really? how much would it affect the story if you skipped that? can you approach it another way, or work it in in another scene?

stage 4: editing

- kill your darlings. if something you wrote is out of place or unnecessary for the story, but you like it anyway, get rid of it. save it in another document for outtakes, but don’t give into the idea that a section is valuable just because you spent time on it.

- having a second set of eyes on your draft is a game changer. if you can get a friend (ideally another writer) to beta read your draft and make comments, it can make a huge difference. i always like to thank my beta readers when i post a fic because i appreciate their input so much!

- now is a good time to decide whether you want to post chapters as you write them or write everything first and post it all at once (or on a posting schedule). there are benefits and drawbacks to both but you know yourself best!

- once you are happy with your draft, post it! :)

stage 5: stamina

- writing is hard, and writing a long fic is really hard. even if you’re super passionate about a project when you start it, you will probably lose steam at some point depending on how long it is. at times you will be discouraged and unmotivated. it helps to have a friend who has volunteered to be your designated hype man for this fic. i like to have at least one person who i KNOW is awaiting my next chapter.

- the fact that you don’t get paid for writing fic means you have to balance your writing time with your life and responsibilities. you might have to take a hiatus. coming back to the project after a while can be hard — this is where those pinterest boards and playlists you made back in stage 1 come in. they help get you back into the groove of the story when you’ve lost inspiration!

- when all else fails, try reading books or fanfiction. it counts as writing. words in > words out. bonus points if you journal/leave ao3 comments about things you noticed and enjoyed about it (or, if you didn’t like something, what about it left you dissatisfied. don’t write this in an ao3 comment though keep it to yourself), it genuinely helps you get better at writing. like it makes writing easier

- believe in yourself!!! believe in me who believes in you!!!!

#ask #ssavinggrace #robin text #writing advice #fic writing